#secret Identity

[tumble-witch]

Ladybug keeps finding excuses not to meet Chat Noir's good friend Marinette smh my head

[frownyalfred]

Obviously a public Batman identity reveal is huge and will have a massive impact on Gotham, but I like to think about the short list of Bruce Wayne’s employees who would go absolutely fucking bonkers when they find out that their employer was literally Batman. 

This list includes but is not limited to:

bodyguards/personal security (what do you MEAN we were protecting you and you knew jiu jitsu the whole time?)

any medical personnel who treated him or his family in the last ten years (missed some pretty obvious signs, in hindsight)

the guy who taught Bruce Wayne how to send Board materials at WE because he “didn’t know how” (he organizes the literal Justice League)

drivers/pilots/etc who found out that not only can Bruce Wayne actually drive shift after all, he’s also able to fly spaceships??

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

Tim realizing the best ways to hide your secret identity is to either be in love with them or to hate them, and since he already has a crush on an actual person he decides to go the hating Robin route

He can’t go about like Bruce does, him and Batman having a weird exes that weren’t ever dating thing, and he can’t do Clark’s I-disagree-with-Superman’s-methods thing because he has to be original and he refuses to go the easy route of having an actual excuse to avoid his secret identity

What Tim decides on is this:

They have beef. The beef will not be explained but there will be twitter wars. When asked they will only respond with “they know what they did”. They are fighting in a Denny’s parking lot. Bets are placed. There is video evidence. Surprisingly Tim wins. This is not explained. It becomes a running meme in Gotham.

Young Justice finds out- they don’t know Robin’s identity- they make fun of him. He kicks their asses in training. They are left questioning if Tim Drake could kick their asses. They belive Tim Drake is an upcoming Rouge. They do not know why Robin has been laughing his head off for the last ten minutes. Then they see a video of Tim face planting while skateboarding. They are no longer concerned. Robin is still laughing. They realize that Robin just really hates Tim and the hatred seems requited. They make their own memes.

Jason comes back to life. He sees the memes. He is confused. If Bruce is Batman, and Tim Drake, Bruce’s son (??? He has parents?), is not Robin, then who is? And does this mean that Bruce did not replace him?

Bruce has no clue this is happening.

Tim is having the time of his life.

J’onn is questioning how he got blackmailed by a 15 year old. (He thinks it’s hilarious)

[ghosting-about]

Love how early Daredevil EPs are just Foggy and Co. wondering where their beloved blind friend is and assuming he couldn't have gone far only for it to cut to Matt dragging his mangled body through some blown up warehouse

Peak secret identity comedy that other superhero shows wish they had

[datpiranha]

always liked the idea of Dash finding out Dannys secret identity, i always thought that'd be an interesting dynamic to explore, whether as a ship or just in general

(annd im a sucker for whump and angst around teenage superheroes. Underrated genre 👀)

it would presumably lead to some uncomfortable talks. I imagine Dash wouldn't feel great about some stuff..

[howtheworldcouldb]

What I think is really fun about Billy Batson is that for everyone else, their superhero identity is their biggest secret. For Billy, his biggest secret is not that he's Captain Marvel, but that Captain Marvel is him.

Everyone else? Fucked if their loved ones find out. Fucked if their enemies find out. Billy? Fucked if his coworkers find out.

[sohasters]

🥒✈️Cumplane Secret identity AU???

Peerless cucumber becomes so notorious that he starts getting Airplane notices semi-regularly. Airplane needs some extra cash so he starts doing vtube/voice change streams where he draws PIDW characters, comics, monsters etc - he's a talented baby what can I say, and he gets a decent stream following, offering sneak peeks at his creative process - but he really doesn't want his face and ID as an erotica writer out there thank you!!!

Peerless Cucumber is absolutely ridiculous in his chat, ubiquitous, always there the second he starts streaming. Constantly dropping huge donos to ask ridiculous lore questions that literally go on for minutes... riding herd on other chatters and policing people... Eventually him being "worst mod" becomes a meme, and Airplane mods him mostly as a joke.

They start messaging, and weirdly it's not hellfire? Modding the channel is the first actually constructive thing Shen Yuan has done, like, ever. It turns out that when he has actual responsibility, he takes it pretty seriously? He's more reliable than anyone, especially himself, could have expected him to be? Everyone still clowns in him and calls him "worst mod", "everyone tell the mods they suck" but it starts to be affectionate, because he actually helps detoxify the community a little? (Only HE is allowed to be toxic on airplane's channel!!)

He decides to take a media and communications degree because social media is the only thing he's ever been good at. He sees a guy with a PIDW sticker on his laptop in his lectures, and they become study buddies! It's great!

They talk about their shared appreciation for PIDW probably more than they should. Study Buddy is pretty chill, he teases Shen Yuan for his BingGe obsession. Shen Yuan doesn't want to be a dick, so he doesn't really slag it off as much as he would online? And Study Buddy LIKES talking about the monsters and how cool Bing-gege is!! Maybe they talk enough that Shen Yuan figures maybe there's a reason he was never into wife plots? Maybe he's actually just... Not into... You know.... Girls? That way??? And Study Buddy is super chill? And maybe it's okay to talk about that stuff???

Meanwhile he's still chatting with airplane, who gets invited to attend a con to be on some kind of panel. He asks cucumber-bro along because he's shitting BRICKS, and he wants someone there who will, like... be in his corner?

Turns out Shen Yuan already has tickets because he and his study buddy were planning to go!

Oh, and look at that! He and airplane are booked at the same hotel! It's convenient!

They decide to meet in the lobby.

Shen Yuan and his study buddy go to their separate rooms to freshen up and rest, with a plan to meet for breakfast. Thirty minutes later, they're both back in the lobby.

Both of them are "waiting for someone."

Both of their "someones" are running LATE.

Shen yuan messages Airplane.

Study Buddy's phone buzzes.

Their eyes meet.

No fucking WAY. this is the guy who talked him through his LBH inspired GAY AWAKENING!! The friendly and supportive "bro" he has COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT??? And that's AIRPLANE?

He literally spent five minutes TALKING ABOUT LBH'S MUSCULAR CHEST AND STAR STUDDED GAZE... to AIRPLANE????

Has he really spent MONTHS coming to the terms with the fact that AIRPLANE is kinda....

Could Bingge maybe portal in with Xin Mo and drag Shen Yuan to hell, because he can't deal with this 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

[hairmetal666]

No one knows who writes the Hawkins High Tattler. It comes out every week, without fail, has for almost two decades. Everyone reads it, even teachers, even parents. It's caused more the one suspension, grounding, and even--famously--a shipping off to boarding school.

Steve's never let the Tattler get to him much. He's in it, of course, practically a new story every week. But it's just silly gossip.

Of course, Steve is also, currently, the titular Tattler, so. It's not like he's surprised when his name shows up.

It's his third year, his last year, and he knows everything that ever goes on at Hawkins High. It's pretty easy, honestly. Everyone thinks he's ditzy and vapid; nothing more than hairspray and polos. People will say anything around him, assuming he's not listening or not interested, and then bam. It's in next week's Tattler. No one even suspects him.

The confessions locker probably helps. Down by the theater, busted and unusable, the perfect place for people to leave tips, to tattle on their friends (or enemies, as the case may be).

That's what he's doing right now, checking the confessions locker. After 9:30 on a Friday night, the place silent as the tomb, perfect time for it. Pretty standard fare this week. The only thing of interest is that Eddie Munson was the person who broke all Ms. Click's pencils and left the stubs on her desk. This one, he laughs at, can't wait to publish it; can't wait to talk to Munson about it.

He gets a lot of stuff about Eddie. Most of it he doesn't publish because it's bullshit about satanic rituals--the nerdy kids he babysits play dnd, and there's no way Karen Wheeler is letting anything satanic happen in her basement--or about his sexuality, and one thing Steve doesn't do is out people.

Gathering up this week's submissions, he closes the locker with a soft clink, and he swears, swears he hears the squeak of a tennis shoe on the polished tile of the floor. He freezes, heart in his throat. Nobody has been here this late before.

Seconds pass but there's only silence. Confident he's only hearing things, he heads out, the parking lot just as empty as when he arrived.

---

He sees Eddie a few days later, when he's picking up the kids from the arcade. They typically exchange casual greetings, but as Steve waits, Eddie stands with him, offers him a cigarette.

"Read that was you who messed with Click's pencils. Good one."

Eddie shrugs, gives a little bow and a smile. "Happy to be of service."

"It was my class, when she found them. Never seen her so mad."

"No way," Eddie laughs. "Not even when Hagan drew dicks on all the textbooks?"

"Not even then, man. She was throwing pencil stubs everywhere."

"Fuck, sad I missed it." Eddie takes a drag, Steve's eyes following the movement, lingering on his mouth. Something warm and tingling builds at the base of his spine and he forces his gaze away.

"How long you in detention for?"

"I'm not. Swore it wasn't me, and Click doesn't want to admit she reads the Tattler, so. Not much they could do. "

"I've seen it sitting on her desk!"

"I know! She reads it when she has detention duty!"

They lean against Steve's car, laughing, and Steve feels good. This is good. He likes Eddie. He's funny and dramatic and smart and kind. He's not deserving of any of the mean things that get submitted to the Tattler.

The kids come streaming into the parking lot then, and Eddie stubs out his cigarette, says "see you around, Harrington," and Steve finds himself flushing for reasons he can't quite explain.

---

He starts seeing Eddie around way more. He's in school most days, smoking in the parking lot after the last bell, chatting with Steve in the hallways.

It shows up in the Tattler; big news that the King and the Freak are hanging out. Most of the submissions are about it, increasingly elaborate rumors about their supposedly deep, close friendship.

He wishes he could tell Eddie.

Eventually, Eddie invites him to smoke at the quarry. He doesn't hesitate to say yes, doesn't even bother to try ignoring the swoop in his stomach, the speed of his heart.

They sprawl out in the back of the van, Eddie's loud, raucous music pounding around them, sharing a joint back and forth.

Steve gets hazy, boneless, can't stop watching Eddie, the way his lips purse around the joint, his long hair glinting gold in the weak light of the camping lanterns, the pleased shine of his eyes every time he makes Steve laughs.

He likes Eddie so much. Everything about him, honestly. Butterflies ping in his stomach, happy and slow, and he thinks how nice Eddie's lips are, wonders how soft they must be. And he thinks--he's read the submissions, right--he knows the things they say about Eddie, and he wishes it was true, he wants--he wants--

He wants

---

Steve's running late to check the locker. Lost track of time at the diner with Eddie, and it's making him panic.

He stuffs the submissions haphazardly into the pocket of his hoodie, dancing with nerves, willing himself to grab them all and get out.

Locker emptied, he sprints towards the exit. He has a second to process someone barreling towards him in the dark, but he's going too fast to stop, can only brace himself as they collide.

It sends him sliding across the floor, Tattler submissions spilling out of his pocket like snow. He hits the ground, scrabbling for the papers, praying that whoever is here with him can't see them in the low light.

Hands grips his biceps. "Stevie, Steve, we have to get out of here" and there's a second where he's comforted by the familiar rasp of Eddie's voice before terror spikes again.

He pulls himself from Eddie's grasp, searching for any dropped submissions in easy reach. "Wha--why--what's--"

"I ran into Jason Carver and his band of idiots at the gas station. They're on their way to here to try to catch the Tattler in action."

Steve freezes. "I don't--that's not--I--"

In the deep silence of the empty school, they both hear the slamming of a door, a bitten off giggle. Eddie grabs his wrist and they run. Into the theater room, through a door Steve didn't know existed, to the backstage area of the auditorium.

"You should be safe here," Eddie says.

Panic spirals through him. "I can explain. I was just--I forgot a--I needed--"

"Harrington! I know, okay? I already know."

Steve can only blink at him, swallows rough in his throat. "What--Eddie, I--"

"I saw you. Weeks ago. Forgot my notebook in the theater room after Hellfire and had to run back for it. You were there, at the locker."

"You can't tell anyone."

"I'm not going to."

"No, Munson, you really can't. Nobody can know. Nobody--"

"Swe--Stevie, I promise. The secret's safe with me." He rocks back on his heels, chewing on his lip for a second before he continues. " I--I couldn't figure you out, you know? I saw you around with those kids and it didn't make any sense. King Steve, babysitting tiny nerds? But I saw you at the locker and..."

"You're giving me too much credit, man."

"I don't think so. You're never--fuck, Harrington--you're never mean. At least, not in the last couple years. You spread gossip, but you don't punch down, and you're funny as hell. Mean as shit too, but only to the people who deserve it."

His ears burn and he looks down. "Just because I have fucking--fucking editorial standards doesn't mean that I'm anything special."

Eddie scoffs. "Remember, Stevie, I was reading it a year before you were here. Cruel, vapid garbage. Always the most vile, pointless stories about people who couldn't defend themselves. And how many submissions have you gotten about me, for instance, that you've never used?"

Steve clenches his fists. "I would never--"

"I know. Sweetheart, I know. That's why I li--You're so fucking good, Stevie."

He laughs, ears burning. "I'm really not, Eddie. I try to write about fun gossip that can't hurt anyone too much, and nobody's found me out because they think I'm too dumb--"

Eddie reaches out then, fingers connecting softly with the edge of Steve's jaw. He can't help but lean into the touch, eyes flickering closed.

"You don't want to hurt people because you're fucking kind. You know how I know for sure? You must get submissions every week about me, and you've never once printed that I'm--" Eddie stops then, swallowing hard.

Steve's throat goes tight. He rests his hand over Eddie's, still holding his face. "Me too," he whispers. "Kind of. I like--it's both. For me."

"Oh," Eddie breathes, mouth lifting in a bright, beautiful smile that Steve can't help but return.

He's watching, sees when Eddie's gaze drifts his lips, making his breath hitch. He doesn't really think about closing the distance between them, slotting their mouths together in a tentative, gentle kiss.

"You're just full of surprises aren't you, Steve Harrington? Eddie asks when they part.

Steve blushes. "That's sort of the last of them."

"Sure. Next you'll be telling me you've played dnd."

"I have a character."

"What???"

"Human paladin. Dustin worked on it with me. Ready to get out of here?"

"Human paladin," Eddie gapes. "You know--you said--what's happening?"

Steve twines their fingers together, leading Eddie towards the auditorium exit. "Well, first we're going to walk out to my car and then we're going to my house, and we're going to look through Tattler submissions. Maybe makeout a little bit."

Eddie giggles. "What the fuck? Like. What the fuck, sweetheart?"

He turns to face Eddie, smile big and pure and bright with happiness. "If you're really nice to me, I'll let you help write this week's issue."

"Oh, oh. You're going to wreck me." Eddie mumbles, almost to himself.

"If you're lucky." Steve beams.

[avasem]

Secret identity shenanigans

[miss-ingno]

Established JayTim Outsider PoV idea:

Red Hood gang/Crime Alley residents thinking that Hood has to be a great lay since he's banging multiple people on the regular:

There's Alvin Draper, the sly and sneaky gopher associated with several crime families who always manages to weasel out of consequences when the cops crack down on crime. Somehow also weaseled himself into Red Hood's bed instead of gang, but that's how it goes sometimes.

Then there's Caroline Hill, the harried med student who tends to show up with two tall black coffees for herself and is rumoured to be the only doc allowed to patch Red Hood up (and feel him up while she's at it).

There's Thea, no last name, whom Hood brings to all of the social mob events when he's invited by the Falcones or Maronis to some party or other, for the usual politicking. It's unclear if they are an item or if it's just an insinuation because it suits their image. Thea is known to kick a mobster in the balls and might instead be a bodyguard under the guise of arm candy. Which Hood may or may not be fucking on the side.

Rumour has it Hood's got a Thing going on with Red Robin, too. Red Robin's definitely the most sighted vigilante around Crime Alley, seen sharing information and bantering openly. There's a blurry phone snapshot going around the internet where Hood has Red Robin pinned to an alley wall with a raging debate on whether they were fighting or kissing.

And then there's that one neighbour in the same apartment building that houses Hood's not-so-secret home base (the one everyone in Crime Alley knows about but would never admit exists), who swears up and down that he caught Timothy Drake-Wayne's walk of shame the morning after on two separate occasions.

[thevoidstaredback]

Bruce figured out their civilian identities pretty quickly. He had to, in order to recruit them. Either way, he knew the names of all of the Justice League heroes and they had no idea who he was.

Most of them either ignored their personas - like Wonder Woman and Green Lantern who didn't talk about their civilian life in costume or vice versa - while others - Superman - sang their own praises as civilians.

Superman's whole having three names thing was useful, and a pretty good cover, but Batman had spotted that the relationship between Clark Kent and Lois Lane was the exact one that Superman and Lois Lane shared, so that was a bit of a moot point.

Personally, Bruce liked his way of keeping people off his tail. Not only were Brucie Wayne and Batman polar opposites, but they were both each other's biggest haters. Although, Bruce publicly admitted that he thinks Batman has the right idea, just not the best execution. While Batman, not on record but definitely heard, has said that Bruce Wayne does good things for Gotham as a whole.

The kids all think it's hilarious, but no one - except Tim, but he's a special case - has managed to cement his civilian and caped identities as being the same person.

Well, maybe Harvey has, but that's because of a lot of reasons. As long as Two Face doesn't reveal that information, and Bruce knows he won't, then all's well.

The point is that Batman knows who the Justice League are outside of capes and masks, but they don't know who he is. Of course, revealing himself would mean revealing his kids, and they wouldn't like that if he was boring about it.

The only natural solution is to be over the top and dramatic about it.

He could keep his name to himself, but where's the fun in that?

Though, it'd be funnier if he managed to keep the appearance of Batman and Bruce Wayne hating each other, especially if he reveals that the Bat Cave is under Wayne Manor.

That'd be funny. His kids would be proud.

His kids will want in on this.

He's got some conspiring planning to do.

Storyboard Part 2

[frownyalfred]

Clark breaking his own rules about his secret identity but ONLY for the nice little old lady who works in the Daily Planet office with him. You will never find him 1) dropping things 2) acting clumsy 3) running away 4) pretending he isn’t strong with her.

He stands up straight with her and looks her in the eye, glasses and misdirection be damned. If she needs help lifting something, he’s there — and it’s never too heavy. She needs help during a full-building evacuation, suddenly she’s outside on the sidewalk and he’s checking her over to make sure she’s okay.

Everyone else sees the misdirection first, the clumsy awkward Clark Kent who aspires to be unremarkable. But this sweet little admin lady who runs payroll? She doesn’t care about the identities or the names he uses. She appreciates him being “a kind young man” and Clark will never disappoint her. He might have been born on Krypton, but he’s a Midwesterner first. If she needs help — she’s getting help.

(Clark ends up watching her meet Bruce a few years later, when he comes by for a tour of the Daily Planet, and gets to witness firsthand as his friend also drops the act with her, zero coordination needed. The woman squeezes his arm, teasing, and says something about him being “quite large.” Bruce laughs, a little pink, and says “That’s the goal.”)

[justyourcasualidiot]

Batman’s secret identity gets revealed to the public and now when asked about it bruce fully plays into it in a way that makes it sound like an obvious joke.

"oh yes of course i’m the batman, i keep all of my secret bat-gadgets in a secret cave under wayne manor and i definitly love dressing up as a bat during my free time, it’s very freeing haha"

Then batman starts publically beefing with bruce wayne for impersonating him.

"bruce wayne is an idiot and has always been. this is why I never go save him when he always gets himself kidnapped like the incompetent bastard he is"

Somehow this strategy succeed in making everyone stop believing batman is bruce wayne. Except now people think they act like salty exes

[ghosting-about]

You can't tell me early season Foggy doesn't think he's the main character. Law practice by day, mysteries by night, love interest, endearing best friend/sidekick.

The issue is that he just happens to be stuck somewhere where superpowers are real so he's overshadowed by Matt's mysterious backstory, weird (ex) mentor, and masked hobbies.

[roennq]

Moments: 8/x Foggy discovers Matt is the masked man ↪ "Where's Matt? What'd you do to him?"

[meikooo200]

Before the founders members of the JL + Arthur reveal that Billy is a teenager (15 y/o), the rest of the JL and younger teams use to think that Capitain Marvel was the older of them, maybe younger than Diana, but older than the rest.

Because, how would he know all that things that he know if he hasn’t live thousens of years?

Or why would the rest treat him as if he need help to adapt to the new world?

This teory is a comond talk between the YJ and the TT.

When they found out that Capitain Marvel is a 16 y/o with literal gods in his head to share their knowleg, and he need help because he is growning and need the same help as them to adapt to the adult world, they were like

They became best friends, but still like that.

Feel free to correct my english c;