#see myself doing it full time cause of how intensive it is and if I’m not full time I don’t get my merit scholarship and whatnot and it’s

[seilon]

why does my local city college have so many more course/program options than my local state college this fucking Sucks

[hookhausenschips]

Butterflies {OP81}

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Summary: Amidst past heartbreak and fear of vulnerability, Y/N gradually allows herself to fall for Oscar, whose patience and sincerity offer a promising chance at love, revealing that the journey of trust and commitment is worth the risk.

Warnings: themes of emotional vulnerability, past trauma, fear of intimacy, struggles/uncertainties of opening up to someone new, and the complexities of trust in relationships.

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Loosely based on this song

you DO NOT have my permission to copy my work, upload as your own, translate, or repost on any other website •

I don't wanna fall so fast

But I'm open

I’m 24, young, and full of potential, yet I've already learned some tough lessons in love. Being a black woman, navigating the complexities of relationships hasn't always been easy. I’ve had my heart broken more times than I care to admit, and each time, it left a scar that hasn’t quite healed. The people I trusted with my deepest emotions didn’t treat them with the care they deserved, and now, it’s hard not to feel jaded.

There was Darren, who made me believe in forever but disappeared when things got tough. Then there was Camille, who said all the right things but never really meant them. Each of them left me with a little less faith in love, and a little more doubt in myself. I keep asking myself, "Why do I always end up hurt?" and "Is there something wrong with me?"

Lately, I’ve been trying to rebuild—focus on myself, get my confidence back. But deep down, there’s a yearning that I can’t quite shake, a desire to find that connection again. To love and be loved, but this time, without the heartbreak. Yet, every time I think about letting someone new in, my stomach twists with anxiety.

They always say that good things never last

And I know 'cause I've been broken

One evening, while sitting on my bed, I scrolled through old messages from past relationships, the ones that used to make me smile. Now, they just remind me of broken promises. I whispered to myself, "I can’t do this again. I can’t let myself fall for someone just to end up picking up the pieces later."

But there’s a part of me—a small, stubborn part—that still believes love is worth the risk. And that part scares me the most because what if I’m wrong? What if I let someone in again and end up more broken than before?

My friends say, "You deserve someone who treats you right, someone who values you." I know they’re right, but how do I open up to that possibility when my past keeps haunting me? How do I let go of the fear that history will repeat itself?

And that’s where I was—stuck between wanting to love and fearing the pain that might come with it—when Oscar came into my life.

I'm tryin' to protect my heart

But you're making it so hard

It was a random Tuesday, and I had no idea that day would change anything. I wasn’t looking for love, not even close. My focus was on work, my friends, and trying to enjoy life on my own terms. But then, there he was—Oscar Piastri.

I remember the first time I saw him. It was at a small coffee shop around the corner from my apartment. I had just picked up my usual order, a caramel latte with an extra shot of espresso, and was about to leave when I accidentally bumped into someone.

“Whoa, sorry about that,” I said, looking up to see who I’d almost drenched in coffee.

He smiled, a warm, easy smile that immediately put me at ease. “No worries, I could use a little caffeine splash to wake me up.”

I laughed, a bit nervously, and noticed how his eyes crinkled at the corners. “I’m glad I could help, I guess?”

He chuckled and extended his hand. “I’m Oscar, by the way. I think I’ve seen you around here before.”

I hesitated for a split second before shaking his hand. “Y/N. And yeah, this is my go-to spot. Best coffee in town.”

“Agreed. Though I have to say, you’ve got a pretty intense order there. Tough day?”

I shrugged, trying to play it cool. “Just the usual grind. You?”

“Same here. But this,” he held up his cup, “is the highlight of my day so far.”

We both laughed, and for a moment, everything felt easy. There was something about him that intrigued me, something different from what I was used to. He wasn’t trying too hard, wasn’t putting on a show. He was just… Oscar.

And I guess it's safe to say

You take my pain away

Over the next few days, I kept running into him—at the coffee shop, at the grocery store, even at the park where I liked to jog. It was like the universe was nudging me toward him, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to listen.

One afternoon, after another “coincidental” meeting at the coffee shop, he asked me to sit with him. I almost said no, wanting to stick to my usual routine, but something in his eyes made me pause.

“Just for a few minutes,” he said, his voice soft and inviting. “I promise I won’t keep you long.”

I found myself nodding. “Okay, a few minutes.”

As we sat down, the conversation flowed effortlessly. We talked about everything and nothing—our favorite movies, the best places to eat in the city, and even the little quirks we had. I learned that Oscar was a bit of a perfectionist, always striving to be the best at whatever he did, but he had a laid-back side that balanced it out. He loved racing, which didn’t surprise me, but what caught me off guard was how he spoke about it—with passion, but also with a humility that was refreshing.

At one point, I mentioned my love for books, and his eyes lit up. “You’re a reader? That’s awesome. What’s your favorite genre?”

“Anything that makes me feel something,” I replied. “I love stories that are real, that don’t shy away from the messy parts of life.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “I get that. I think the best stories are the ones that make you feel like you’re not alone, like someone out there gets what you’re going through.”

There was a sincerity in his words that made me want to know more about him, even though I was still hesitant. I couldn’t deny that I was drawn to him, that there was something about Oscar that made me feel… safe. But at the same time, a voice in the back of my mind reminded me of the walls I’d built, the ones that had protected me from getting hurt again.

As the conversation wound down, Oscar looked at me with a smile that was both gentle and knowing. “I’m really glad we got to talk, Y/N. Maybe we could do this again sometime? No pressure, just… whenever you feel like it.”

I hesitated, the familiar apprehension bubbling up. But then I found myself nodding. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Great,” he said, his smile widening. “I’ll see you around then.”

As I walked away, I couldn’t help but feel a little lighter, like maybe—just maybe—this was something worth exploring. But I was still cautious, still unsure if I could let myself fall for someone again. Only time would tell if Oscar was different, if he was someone I could trust with my heart.

And I just wanna hold you all night long

Whenever I'm around you, nothing's wrong I'm hoping that you'll always be around

The days turned into weeks, and before I knew it, Oscar and I had developed a comfortable routine. We’d meet up for coffee or grab dinner at one of the spots we’d discovered together. There was a natural rhythm to our conversations, a back-and-forth that felt easy, almost effortless. But with that ease came something I hadn’t expected—the butterflies.

At first, it was just a slight flutter whenever I saw his name pop up on my phone. A quick text from him, like, “Hey, thinking about trying that new sushi place tonight. You in?” would make my heart skip a beat. I’d find myself smiling at the screen, trying to keep cool as I typed back, “Sounds good. What time?”

But it wasn’t just the texts. It was the way he looked at me when we were talking, like I was the only person in the room. One night, we were sitting in the park, watching the sunset after a long day. Oscar had brought a blanket, and we were sprawled out on the grass, just talking about everything and nothing.

You got me on a high, I don't wanna come down And I love it, I love it (these butterflies)

Yeah I love it, I love it (I'm on a high)

Yeah, I love it, I love it And I just wanna love on you (ooh)

“Do you ever just look at the sky and think about how small we are?” he asked, his voice soft and contemplative.

I turned to him, surprised by the question. “Sometimes. It’s kind of overwhelming, though, isn’t it? Thinking about how big the universe is and how tiny our problems are in comparison.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, his eyes still fixed on the sky. “But I think it’s kind of comforting, too. Like, no matter what happens, the world keeps turning, the sun keeps setting, and there’s always a new day.”

I looked at him then, really looked at him, and felt that familiar flutter in my chest. It wasn’t just the words he said; it was the way he said them, with a quiet assurance that made me feel like everything would be okay.

Ever since you crossed my path

Everything is different

You always know just how to make me laugh

You got me all up in my feelings

“You’re a bit of a philosopher, aren’t you?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

He laughed, a low, warm sound that made my heart flip. “Maybe a little. But seriously, Y/N, it’s moments like this that make me appreciate the simple things. Like just being here with you.”

My breath caught in my throat, and for a moment, I didn’t know what to say. His words were simple, but they meant so much more than that. I could feel the butterflies intensifying, that mix of excitement and nervousness churning in my stomach.

“Yeah,” I finally managed to say, my voice barely above a whisper. “I get that.”

And then there were the little things he did that made me feel seen, really seen. Like the time we were at a bookstore, and I was browsing through the fiction section. I mentioned offhandedly that I loved a particular author but hadn’t read their latest book yet. A few days later, Oscar showed up with a wrapped package.

And as much as I love the feeling I hate it, it gets me frustrated

Wanna say just how I feel

“What’s this?” I asked, curious.

He grinned, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Just open it.”

I tore off the wrapping paper to find the book I’d mentioned. My eyes widened in surprise, and I looked up at him, speechless.

“You said you hadn’t read it yet,” he said, shrugging like it was no big deal. “I figured you might like it.”

My heart swelled with a mix of emotions—gratitude, joy, and something deeper that I wasn’t ready to name yet. “Oscar, this is… thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know,” he replied, his voice softening. “But I wanted to.”

It was in moments like these that I started to feel those butterflies taking over. He made me laugh like no one else could, like the time we tried to cook dinner together and ended up burning half the food. We were both hopeless in the kitchen, but instead of getting frustrated, Oscar just laughed, his laughter infectious.

“Well, I guess we know what we’re not good at,” he said, shaking his head as he surveyed the mess we’d made.

“Yeah,” I laughed, wiping away a tear. “But at least we didn’t burn the whole place down.”

He grinned and bumped his shoulder against mine. “Small victories, right?”

But it wasn’t just the laughter. It was the way he was there for me, supporting me in ways I hadn’t expected. Like the time I was having a rough day at work, feeling overwhelmed and stressed. I hadn’t told him much, just that I was having a hard time. Later that evening, he showed up at my door with a tub of my favorite ice cream and a stack of movies.

“I figured you could use a break,” he said with that easy smile of his. “And maybe some company?”

I couldn’t help but smile back, feeling the butterflies fluttering stronger than ever. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

But don't know how you would take it

Why do you do what you do to me?

He chuckled, a little embarrassed. “Just trying to be a good friend.”

But the way he looked at me when he said it, I knew there was more to it than that. And that was when the nervous excitement hit me hardest. I was falling for him—harder and faster than I’d expected—and it terrified me.

As the days with Oscar grew longer, so did the feelings I was trying to keep in check. Those butterflies that started as a gentle flutter had turned into a storm inside me, making it harder to ignore what was happening. I was falling for him, and it scared me to death.

One evening, after another perfect day with Oscar, I sat alone in my apartment, staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I could see it in my own eyes—how happy I was, how alive I felt. But underneath that happiness was a growing fear, a fear I couldn’t shake no matter how hard I tried.

“Why are you doing this to yourself?” I whispered to my reflection, frustration lacing my voice. “Why are you letting yourself feel this way again?”

I thought about the last time I’d let myself fall, how it had ended in tears and broken promises. I had sworn to myself that I wouldn’t go through that again, that I’d protect my heart at all costs. But here I was, teetering on the edge of another fall, and I couldn’t decide whether to jump or pull back.

When I was with Oscar, everything felt right. He made me laugh, he made me feel seen, and he made me believe—if only for a moment—that maybe this time could be different. But when I was alone, the doubts would creep in. What if he didn’t feel the same way? What if I was just setting myself up for another heartbreak?

I promised myself I wouldn't fall

But every time I see you, I just wanna risk it all

One night, we were sitting on his couch, a movie playing in the background. I was barely paying attention to the screen, too caught up in my own thoughts. Oscar must have noticed because he nudged me gently.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice soft and concerned.

I forced a smile and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired, I guess.”

But even as I said it, I knew it wasn’t true. I wasn’t tired—I was scared. Scared of letting him in, scared of what it would mean if I did. I wanted to tell him, to lay it all out there, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, I just sat there, feeling the frustration build inside me.

Oscar turned to face me, his brow furrowed in that adorable way he did when he was trying to figure something out. “Are you sure? You seem… I don’t know, a little distant tonight.”

I bit my lip, the battle raging inside me. Part of me wanted to tell him everything, to spill out all the fears and doubts that were eating me up inside. But another part of me, the part that had been hurt before, told me to keep quiet, to protect myself.

“It’s nothing,” I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper. “Just… a lot on my mind.”

He didn’t push, but I could see the concern in his eyes, and that only made me feel worse. Here was this amazing guy who was nothing but kind and patient with me, and I couldn’t even bring myself to be honest with him. The frustration gnawed at me, making my heart ache.

Later that night, after Oscar had walked me home, I sat on my bed, my mind racing. Why was this so hard? Why couldn’t I just tell him how I felt? I grabbed a pillow and hugged it to my chest, trying to quiet the turmoil inside me.

I closed my eyes, remembering a conversation I’d had with my best friend not too long ago. She had told me, “You have to take risks in love, Y/N. You can’t protect yourself from everything, or you’ll never really experience it.”

Her words echoed in my mind, and I knew she was right. But knowing and doing were two very different things. I wanted to take the risk, I wanted to let myself fall for Oscar, but every time I got close, the fear would pull me back.

The next time we hung out, the tension was still there, lurking beneath the surface. We were at a small, cozy restaurant, sharing a plate of fries and talking about nothing in particular. Oscar was his usual charming self, making me laugh with some ridiculous story about his latest racing practice. But even as I laughed, the frustration was bubbling up inside me.

“You know,” he said, dipping a fry in ketchup, “I’ve been thinking about going on a road trip. Just get in the car and drive, no destination in mind. What do you think?”

I smiled, trying to focus on the conversation. “That sounds amazing. I’ve always wanted to do something like that.”

He grinned, his eyes twinkling with excitement. “Maybe you could come with me. We could just take off, leave everything behind for a while. What do you say?”

My heart leaped at the idea, but then the doubts crashed in like a tidal wave. What if I said yes? What if we spent all that time together, and I ended up falling even harder, only for him to not feel the same way? The thought terrified me, and I felt the words catch in my throat.

“I… I don’t know,” I stammered, trying to keep my voice steady. “I mean, it sounds great, but…”

“But?” he prompted gently, leaning in closer.

I looked down at my hands, fiddling with the napkin on my lap. “It’s just… I don’t want to mess things up, you know? What if…”

He reached across the table and placed his hand over mine, his touch warm and reassuring. “Hey, whatever it is, you can talk to me. I’m not going anywhere.”

His words should have comforted me, but instead, they made the frustration even worse. How could I explain that the thing I was most afraid of was exactly that—that he wouldn’t go anywhere, that he’d stay, and I’d end up falling too deep?

And baby, yeah, I know it ain't right

But the chemistry we have is so hard to fight

I took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to speak. “Oscar, I… I like spending time with you. A lot. But sometimes, I get scared, you know? I’ve been hurt before, and I don’t want to go through that again.”

His expression softened, and he squeezed my hand gently. “I get it. I really do. But I’m not those other people, Y/N. I’m not here to hurt you.”

“I know,” I whispered, my voice barely holding steady. “But it’s still hard. I want to let go, to just… be with you, but I’m afraid of what might happen if I do.”

Oscar looked at me for a long moment, his eyes searching mine. Then he nodded, his grip on my hand tightening just a little. “It’s okay to be scared. But I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. We can take this as slow as you need to. I’m not in a rush.”

His words were exactly what I needed to hear, but even as he spoke them, I could feel the frustration gnawing at me. I wanted to believe him, I wanted to trust that things could be different this time, but the fear still lingered, a shadow that wouldn’t quite go away.

As we walked out of the restaurant that night, his arm around my shoulders, I couldn’t help but feel a mix of emotions—gratitude for his understanding, frustration with myself for holding back, and a deep, aching longing for the security I so desperately wanted. I knew I had to make a choice soon, to either let go and take the leap, or pull back and protect my heart. But the decision wasn’t easy, and the battle between vulnerability and protection raged on inside me, unresolved.

The tension had been building for weeks, like a tightly wound spring ready to snap. Every time Oscar and I spent time together, I could feel the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air. I knew I had to say something, to finally let him know how I felt, but fear had kept me silent. That all changed one evening when the moment of truth arrived, unplanned and unexpected.

And I just wanna hold you all night long

Whenever I'm around you, nothing's wrong I'm hoping that you'll always be around

It was a Friday night, and Oscar had invited me to watch one of his races on TV. We’d done this a few times before, but this time felt different. Maybe it was the way he seemed extra excited, or maybe it was just the way my heart pounded every time I looked at him. Either way, I knew something was going to happen that night.

We were sitting on his couch, the glow of the TV casting soft shadows across the room. The race was in full swing, but I was only half-watching, too caught up in my own thoughts. Oscar, on the other hand, was fully engrossed, his eyes glued to the screen, a smile playing on his lips as he watched the cars speed around the track.

“You’re really into this, huh?” I teased, trying to lighten my own mood.

He grinned, not taking his eyes off the screen. “You have no idea. There’s just something about the adrenaline, the speed… it’s like nothing else.”

I smiled, but the butterflies were back, and they weren’t the good kind this time. I felt a knot in my stomach, a sense of urgency that I couldn’t ignore any longer. I had to say something—tonight.

You got me on a high, I don't wanna come down And I love it, I love it (these butterflies)

Said I love it, I love it (I'm on a high)

Love (And I just wanna love on)

And I just wanna love on you

As the race neared its end, Oscar finally turned to me, his expression full of excitement. “That was incredible, wasn’t it? I swear, every time I watch, it just gets better.”

“Yeah, it was great,” I replied, but my voice was distant, my mind elsewhere.

He noticed immediately, his smile fading a little. “Hey, what’s up? You seem… off. Did something happen?”

I hesitated, my heart racing faster than any of the cars we’d just watched. This was it, the moment I’d been dreading and anticipating all at once. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself, but the words caught in my throat.

“Y/N, talk to me,” Oscar urged, his voice gentle but firm. He reached out and took my hand, his touch warm and reassuring. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

I looked down at our intertwined hands, the sight of them together giving me a strange mix of comfort and anxiety. I knew I couldn’t keep this to myself any longer. I had to let him in, or I’d lose my chance.

“Oscar, I… I need to tell you something,” I began, my voice trembling slightly.

Just wanna love, just wanna love on ya (uh, uh) Just wanna love, just wanna love on ya (uh, uh)

Ay, ay (uh, uh)

He squeezed my hand, his eyes locked onto mine. “I’m listening.”

I took another deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. “I’ve been holding back… a lot. And it’s not because I don’t enjoy spending time with you—I do. More than I can even explain. But the truth is, I’m scared. I’m scared of what might happen if I let myself really fall for you.”

Oscar’s expression softened, but he didn’t say anything, just letting me speak.

“I’ve been hurt before, Oscar,” I continued, my voice thick with emotion. “And every time I’ve let myself fall, it’s ended badly. I don’t want to go through that again. But at the same time, I can’t deny what I’m feeling. Being with you makes me happy, really happy, but it also terrifies me. I don’t want to get hurt again, and I don’t want to hurt you either.”

And I just wanna know you would catch me if I fall

If you tell me yeah, boy I might just risk it all If you tell me no, it's okay, then I will leave (ooh)

I hope you feel the same, you're the only one I see

I see, I see

The room was silent except for the hum of the TV, and for a moment, I was afraid I’d said too much, that I’d scared him away. But then Oscar reached out, gently lifting my chin so I was looking directly into his eyes.

“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice steady and reassuring, “I can’t promise that nothing will ever go wrong. I can’t promise that I’ll never make a mistake. But what I can promise is that I’ll always be honest with you, and I’ll always do my best to protect your heart.”

My breath hitched at his words, the sincerity in his eyes breaking through some of the walls I’d put up. “I’m not asking for perfection, Oscar. I just… I just need to know that if I take this leap, you’ll be there to catch me.”

He nodded, his thumb brushing gently over the back of my hand. “I will be. And I want you to know something, too—I’m scared, too. Scared of messing this up, scared of not being what you need. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try, right? Because what we have… it feels real, Y/N. And I think it’s worth the risk.”

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I blinked them back, a mix of relief and hope swelling in my chest. “It does feel real,” I whispered, my voice shaky. “And I want to try, Oscar. I really do. I’m just… I’m afraid of falling too hard, too fast.”

He smiled then, a soft, understanding smile that made my heart ache in the best way possible. “Then we’ll take it slow. We’ll figure it out together, one step at a time. You don’t have to do this alone.”

I nodded, finally allowing myself to lean into the feelings I’d been holding back. “Okay,” I said, my voice steadier now. “Let’s try.”

Oscar pulled me into a gentle embrace, his arms wrapping around me in a way that made me feel safe, like maybe—just maybe—I’d found something worth holding onto. As I rested my head against his chest, I could hear the steady beat of his heart, and for the first time in a long while, I felt a sense of peace.

“Thank you,” I whispered, my voice muffled against his shirt.

“For what?” he asked, his hand gently rubbing my back.

“For being patient with me. For understanding.”

He pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head. “I’m just glad you trusted me enough to tell me how you’re feeling. We’re in this together now, okay?”

“Okay,” I whispered back, my eyes closing as I allowed myself to relax in his arms.

The fear was still there, lingering at the edges of my mind, but it didn’t feel as overwhelming now. For the first time, I felt like maybe, just maybe, I could let go of the past and embrace whatever the future held with Oscar by my side. And as we sat there together, the tension that had been building for so long finally began to melt away, replaced by a sense of hope and possibility.

The night after our conversation, I couldn't stop replaying everything in my head. I had bared my heart to Oscar, and instead of retreating, he’d held on, promising to take things slow and be there for me. It was a step forward, but the fear still lingered, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I knew that what happened next would either solidify my trust in him or shatter everything we’d been building.

Just wanna love, just wanna love on ya

A few days later, Oscar invited me over for dinner. He had planned to cook—something simple, he’d promised, since we both knew his culinary skills weren’t exactly top-notch. But it wasn’t the dinner that had me on edge; it was the feeling that this night was going to be a turning point for us.

When I arrived at his apartment, I was greeted by the smell of something delicious wafting through the air. Oscar met me at the door, a slightly frazzled but excited look on his face.

“I hope you’re ready for the best—or at least, the least disastrous—pasta you’ve ever had,” he joked, stepping aside to let me in.

I smiled, feeling a little lighter. “As long as it’s edible, I’m happy.”

We sat down to dinner, and to my surprise, the pasta was actually really good. We laughed and talked like we always did, but there was a new layer to our conversation now—an openness that hadn’t been there before. Every time our eyes met, I felt a warmth spread through me, a connection that was deepening with every word we exchanged.

After dinner, we moved to the couch, the remnants of our meal forgotten on the kitchen counter. Oscar put on some music, something soft and soothing, and we settled in, his arm draped around my shoulders. For a while, we just sat there in comfortable silence, the music filling the space between us.

“Y/N,” he said after a while, his voice low and serious, “I’ve been thinking about what you said the other night. About being scared and wanting to take things slow.”

I tensed slightly, my heart rate picking up. “Yeah?”

He nodded, his thumb gently rubbing circles on my shoulder. “I just want you to know that I’m not going anywhere. I meant what I said—I’m here, and I’m in this with you. Whatever happens, we’ll face it together.”

His words washed over me like a balm, soothing the anxiety that had been gnawing at me for so long. But there was still a part of me that needed more, that needed to see if he was really willing to stand by me, even when things got tough.

“Oscar,” I began hesitantly, “I appreciate that. I really do. But… what if things get hard? What if I freak out or push you away? I’m not always good at this, at letting people in.”

He turned slightly to face me, his eyes serious and full of warmth. “Then I’ll be here, waiting. I’m not going to push you to move faster than you’re ready for, but I won’t let you push me away, either. We’ve got something good here, Y/N, and I’m not about to give up on it.”

My chest tightened, emotion swelling up in me. It was everything I wanted to hear, but there was still that small, lingering doubt, the voice in my head whispering that it was too good to be true.

“What if… what if one day you wake up and realize you don’t want to do this anymore? That you don’t want to deal with my issues?”

He shook his head, his expression unwavering. “That’s not going to happen. I’m here because I want to be, because I care about you. We’re both going to have our moments—times when we’re scared or uncertain—but that’s part of it, right? It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being there for each other, even when things aren’t easy.”

His words hit me deep, breaking down some of the last barriers I’d been holding onto. I wanted to believe him, to trust that he meant every word. And the way he was looking at me now, with such sincerity and conviction, made it impossible not to.

“I’m trying, Oscar,” I whispered, my voice thick with emotion. “I’m trying to let go of all the fear and just… be with you. But it’s hard.”

He leaned in closer, his forehead resting gently against mine. “I know it is. But you don’t have to do it alone. We’ll take it one day at a time, okay? No pressure, no rush. Just us, figuring it out together.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the warmth of his breath against my skin, the steady beat of his heart against mine. “Okay,” I breathed, finally allowing myself to let go of some of the fear I’d been holding onto. “One day at a time.”

We stayed like that for a while, just holding each other, the silence between us comfortable and reassuring. For the first time in a long while, I felt a sense of peace, a quiet hope that maybe—just maybe—I could trust in this, in us.

As the evening wore on, Oscar pulled back slightly, his eyes searching mine. “Do you want to stay tonight? No pressure, of course. We can just watch a movie or something.”

I hesitated, the old fears still whispering in the back of my mind, but they were quieter now, drowned out by the warmth and security I felt in his presence. “I’d like that,” I said softly, a small smile tugging at my lips. “I’d like that a lot.”

He smiled back, his eyes lighting up in that way that always made my heart skip a beat. “Good. I’ll go grab some blankets.”

As he got up to gather the blankets, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief wash over me. This was new territory for me—allowing myself to be vulnerable, to trust someone else with my heart. But with Oscar, it didn’t feel as terrifying as it once had. It felt right.

Later, as we lay on the couch, wrapped up in blankets and each other’s arms, I felt the last of my apprehension melt away. This wasn’t about perfection or guarantees; it was about trust, about taking things one step at a time, together. And for the first time, I felt like maybe, just maybe, I could really do this.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Oscar murmured against my hair, his voice laced with contentment.

“Me too,” I whispered back, closing my eyes and letting myself drift off into the comfort of his embrace.

As I lay there, surrounded by the warmth of his arms, I knew that this was just the beginning. There would be more challenges ahead, more moments of fear and doubt, but for now, I was content to take things one day at a time, knowing that I wasn’t alone in this journey. And as long as Oscar was by my side, I knew I had something worth holding onto—something real, something that could last.

Just wanna love, just wanna love on ya (uh, uh)

Ay, ay (uh, uh)

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚☽˚.⋆ *ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆ ‧₊˚ ⋅✈︎ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

OP81 Taglist: @tallrock35, @yourbane, @evie-119, @asparklysoul, @dhanihamidi, @ilivbullyingjeongin, @ggaslyp1, @cmleitora, @d3kstar

F1 Taglist: @tallrock35, @yourbane, @hiireadstuff, @really-fucking-tired, @evie-119, @donteventry-itdude, @spookystitchery, @dhanihamidi, @decafmickey, @cmleitora, @d3kstar

[hammyballeceter]

Hannibal Lecter-

Little Lamb

Hannibal x reader

- mentions of a suicide attempt & mental illness.

You had been a patient of Dr Lecter for about a month now, his first appointment being with you when you were still on the ward after a attempt to take your life. The man who you’d come to know as Dr Lecter was kind to you, his voice soothed your thoughts and you began to look forward to seeing the peculiar man each week. You tried for a little while to not let your mind wander to how attractive you found the older man, but then again it pushed other far more darker thoughts aside for awhile. And you indulged yourself into thoughts of the amber eyed gentleman.

————-

“I hope that you’ve been doing as we discussed in the last appointment”

His eyes flicked to yours and stayed there, he had an intimidating undertone to him, an intensity to his presence, which made you crave him more. Your skin prickled as if it was cold, shuffling in the seat to try and distract from the feeling of him staring at you.

“Yes, I’ve been trying to. The thoughts are as intrusive as ever. Although I’ve found a new vice that’s sort of helping. When I think about them the thoughts calm for a while. But they soon come back. And they come back with vengeance”

Your voice was quiet, as it had been all your life. Slightly above a whisper but not by much. Being softly spoken would often mean people would ignore your existence. But not Dr Lecter, he gave his full attention to you when you spoke. Although it’s his job, you’d like to think maybe, just maybe he enjoyed hearing your voice too.

“The intrusive thoughts are getting more and more graphic, it’s like my brain is willing me to become so disturbed I’m past being helped. A punishment for not being dead. I still wish it had worked.”

Your eyes never dared to meet his unwavering gaze, you knew he was looking at you, it made your skin burn in the best possible way but caused you feel even more insecure then you’d ever been. What he must think of you sat there covered in scars of your own making

———————

His eyes never left you as you sat in a rather large chair in his rather large office, the room oozed class & money. When ever you were in his presence his eyes found you and he couldn’t bring himself to rip them away. And anyways, he enjoyed watching you squirm under his gaze he could quickly tell the affect he had on you. Your appointments with him were something he looked forward to. He was drawn in by you he learned a lot about you during your appointments even making a conscious effort to ask about you outside of what the appointments were supposed to be about. Being under intensive treatment meant he got you for an hour 3 times a week to his delight. He couldn’t quite understand why a beauty like you wanted to be 6 foot under. He always thought people with such beauty also held a disgusting amount of vanity and self importance. But not you, he enjoyed your beauty, and he found himself not wanting to slice you open and eat your body piece by piece. And that scared him. He didn’t want to stay professional with you, he wanted to patch that dark little mind of yours and claim you as his.

“your thoughts are getting worse? what sort of things are these thoughts about? Don’t be afraid to tell me” He asked. Jotting down what ever notes he needed.

—————

“About hurting people, about hurting myself. Images, awful images. They’d flash into my head, just like before. But instead of them just being about me hurting myself they’re ones of me hurting others, before I’d never had that I’m scared I’ll give in” the welling of tears made room ripple and blur.

“I just want to get better. But that’s never going to happen. My only relief is thinking about someone I know I can never have. Someone who wouldn’t even look at me. They just see me as a sick patient and even then my brain punishes me for it. It hurts me but they make me feel safe, they’re the only person that listens to me”

Your tears ran, wet and warm down your face. Hannibal had never felt an ache in his heart when seeing someone cry. Usually someone’s cries meant nothing to him. Especially the ones of those he killed. But with you, he wanted to push you up against a wall and make you feel anything but sadness.

“Whom is it that you think about?” He asked with out thinking, he cursed at himself for being so abrupt when you were upset.

You dropped your head allowing your hair to fan infront of your face, you wanted to tell him, tell him about how you wanted him to make your skin blaze, how you wanted to feel his lips on every single part of your body, how you wanted him to take every waking and sleeping moment of your life and fill it with him.

“I’m afraid to say Dr Lecter I fear he may never want to see sight of me again”

Hannibal watched as you raised your head, tears streaked your face, your cheeks turned pink and your lips plump, and yet he still thought you looked beautiful. Broken yet beautiful.

He wanted to kiss you, so deeply as if he would engulf you whole and allow you to be safe.

“Why would you think that? you may be in a bad place, but you are person that holds a lot more then what you’re going through. I’ve learned a lot about you y/n your beauty is merely only the surface of you, you are intense yet so gentle. Your brain holds great torment, yet you have never laid a hand on another despite what your mind makes you think. The mere fact you acknowledge that hurt, the fact you wanted to take yourself away in fear of hurting others shows me more about you then you think. I apologise if you think this is inappropriate of me. Only a fool would never want to see sight of you again”

His face never changed, his eyes held the same undivided intense gaze. But he meant every word of what he said. Y/ns brain couldn’t comprehend a man who had everything was speaking so highly of someone who had nothing.

“Dr lec-“

“my little lamb call me Hannibal, I insist”

You body shook lightly,

“Hannibal, it’s you. It’s you that I think about. You fog my mind daily. And you make my thoughts go even if its for a little while, it’s worth it.”

Hannibal got up slowly, placing his glass on the small table beside him. You nerves through the roof as he hadn’t said anything. Had you misunderstood him? Was he simply being kind out of pity?

His hand reached for yours, large yet soft and well manicured. You accepted his hand and allowed him to pull you up.

“You fog my mind too little lamb”

He gently caressed your cheek, taking in the feeling of you finally being pressed against his body. He pressed his lips to yours, savouring how sweet you tasted, mint mixed with an undertone of the expensive wine he’d poured for you earlier. Your mind finally at ease, for the first time in a long time.

“Now, don’t ever take yourself away from me.”

[shakespearean-dream]

i would adore ur ted ideas he is so interesting 2 me!!!!!!

ask and you shall receive!!!!

ted. teddigan. theodoreigan my boy. i have so many mixed feelings about u💔

this drawing was a pain in the ASS to make for some reason?? my first go at him was way too close to canon for my liking so i threw myself out there n got to a place i liked thankfully, plus halfway through i forgot how to draw hands and almost cried (joking) cause i thought i had them down at this point!!!!— but trust me, even if you have 9 years of art experience (like me unfortunately. someone take me out i’ve had a good life) ur gonna forget the basics sometimes. warm yourself up and try again cause i did and i eventually remembered 😭😭😭

doing these character studies and drawings have seriously improved my way and process of drawing faces which is so nice 🥲 i think i just need to start looking at the bigger picture again so i don’t forget how to draw everything else. like hands. or full bodies. foreshadowing ;)

i wanted my ted to look just a wee bit unsettling because my general consensus of him is that he is totally fucked in the head, lmfao. born a nepotism baby who ended up scamming people more for fun than for actual cash, horribly sexist but dependent on women to validate him, paranoid as all get out, selfish and self centered as all get out, just his canon personality’s all in one and turned up a notch. 🥲

i don’t think he’s totally beyond redemption, especially because he’s been cooped up with ellen, who is a highly decorated in the engineering field black woman, benny who’s gay and gorr “FREEDOM FIGHTIN’ LIBERAL🇺🇸🦅🦅🔥🔥” ister for 109 years. in that time he’s definitely slipped up and they’ve definitely corrected him (along with nimdok too LOL). i think with some intensive therapy, a shower and a trip to the tolerance museum (south park reference) he’ll be a little better.

i’m a mild ted/AM shipper (as seen in the bottom right hand corner) but more in the “ooohehheh they’re flirting!!… oh no. oh this is not going to end well. this is definitely a toxic relationship” way and less the “awh cute maybe they can have mutual redemption arcs!!!” way because i love seeing gay men suffer romantically (don’t cancel me i am a bisexual man suffering romantically i swear😭)

i’m not too partial to any other ships honestly, ted/ellen makes me nauseous (just cause of the way ted talks about/treats her in the franchise, no hate to my tellen shippers i promise) and i can only see gorrister with his wife 🥲 with benny and nimdok i have no clue if either of them rlly have romantic interests but im not a fan of them with anybody so erm… i do love the whole groups found family vibes though :”””] they’re all cute together and the mutual suffering but all the while growth is comforting to me

i think that’s about all my thoughts!!! another thank you for the support on this blog recently i love yall sm. i’ll eventually post on my transformers blog but i am STILL SCARED because robots are hard to draw. stay tuned for it though. 💀

thank you for reading if you did!!! let me know which of the guys yall want me to do next; benny, AM and nimdok are left on the chopping block. ❤️

[moutainrusing]

realisation

dorlene july event, 541 words, @enbysiriusblack

Marlene never had any big realisation about it. It was just something she inherently knew. Sure there was this cock in between her legs, but it wasn’t hers. It was just there. Didn’t make her any less of a girl.

She’d known she wasn’t a boy since the days of brawling with her brothers. Since the days of ripping her trousers from climbing trees. Since the days she liked wearing clothing typical of ‘boys’ and found herself thinking that really, clothing should just be genderless.

She’d known she wasn’t a boy through her intense dislike of pop music, through her passionate love for sports, through her running and training and Quidditch, through her brotherhood with James, Sirius, Remus and Peter in the Gryffindor boys’ dormitory.

She called it a brotherhood, because she didn’t mind being considered a brother to people. ‘Bro’ seemed pretty gender-neutral to her. In fact, she preferred people calling her ‘brother’ over her birth name. Her friends would call her ‘brother,’ strangers would call her ‘McKinnon,’ and all was well.

She didn’t mind being in the boys’ dormitory. She supposed she did have the cock after all. (Not hers.) She got along with boys just fine, even if she wasn’t one. And she wasn’t fussed about pronouns. They were just an easier way of referring to the person; it didn’t matter that much to her. In her head, she used ‘she.’ She was often in her head.

But then came the dare, at the end of first year. The dare to get up the stairs to the girls’ dormitory without getting tossed down. James and Sirius skidded down every time they tried. Remus could not be bothered. Peter was too scared to embarrass himself. But Marlene?

This wasn’t any new realisation; she ascended the stairs with ease.

James gaped at her. “Bro… how are you doing that?”

Remus closed James’s jaw with a roll of his eyes before smiling at Marlene, “I’d recommend talking to McGonagall.”

James frowned in confusion. “About how he can do that?” Remus flicked James’s furrowed brow in exasperation.

Marlene cleared her throat. She… was ready. “No… I’ll talk to her about transferring to the girls’ dorm.”

James remained confused. “Why?” Remus slapped him. (Lightly.)

Marlene laughed. “‘Cause my name’s Marlene. And I’m a girl.”

Remus had no reaction, the all-knowing swot he was. He’d been referring to Marlene with ‘they’ and ‘them’ for ages now. Peter nodded easily, Sirius was already distracted with pestering Fabian and Gideon, and James uttered, “Brother…” Then he tacked on, “Wait, sorry, sister…”

Marlene shook her head fondly, “I don’t mind—”

Just then, Dorcas poked her head down the stairs. Marlene’s breath caught in her throat. See, this was why boys were good company. She was too gay to function around girls as pretty as Dorcas. Dorcas grinned at her, and Marlene’s lungs constricted.

“So, you came out then? I’m happy for you. I’m also happy for myself, ‘cause now we get you in our dorm.”

Marlene returned the grin at full force. From second year onwards, everyone knew her as ‘she.’ And now that she was free to be herself, she spent less time in her head, and more time joking around with Mary, Lily and Dorcas.

[another-whump-enjoyer-blog]

Analysis of a Whump Awakening in a great movie

So I’ve seen some posts about whump awakenings, some of them mentioning Disney movies, but not a single one points this movie (well, this one is Pixar’s, but owned by Disney) I really wanna point it out, because I spent some time searching in the tags, as many ways I could think of, and got no success.

After seeing this movie again after so many years, I got this exact feeling:

I remember watching it over and over again in VHS, because I really liked it and I enjoyed one scene even though I didn't knew exactly why.

Now I know why and I’ll point it out. So please, bear with me cause it's a long post. (I swear I tried to be as brief as possible but there are just so many things I needed to point out cause this movie is so good, this character is so badass and this scene is so intense I've just find myself obsessed with it once again)

The movie is A Bug’s Life and I seriously can’t believe how underrated it is. Yes, I know the animation seems outdated, but come on, it’s Pixar’s second film, from 1998. The story is simple but executed in a such a GENIUS way it stands above the recent soulless movies Disney has made.

Now, if you enjoy whump and have seen this movie, you know exactly which scene I’m gonna mention.

Yes, I'm referring to this one.

But first, I just got to admire Flik’s development on this scene.

The first time there’s a confrontation with Hopper, he is totally terrified, hiding behind other ants when Atta tries to point him as the responsible for losing the offering, which he totally is. (But come on, why did they put it at the edge of the cliff?)

And then, when he stands up for Dot, he immediately regrets drawing Hopper’s attention. Just look how scared he is.

He breaks eye contact and steps back as Hopper commands him to do.

And now, back to THE SCENE

This time is different, he has changed since the last encounter. But also it’s not the same Hopper, he’s angrier and determined to regain control. Flik is fully aware he is intending to squish the queen just to set an example.

And now he just tried to trick him with the fake bird, which make things so much worse. Once again, everyone is in danger because of him (The bird fail was not his fault, but he already is stigmatized for being a constant failure)

So there he is. Standing up for Dot and Atta, taking full responsibility for his idea so he can stop Hopper from hurting anyone, proving the last thing he is thinking about is himself. He knows whom he’s talking to and knows there will be consequences.

"Leave her alone Hopper! The bird was my idea! I'm the one you want" (This line and the way he delivers it 👌)

And this is what he gets.

Not only does he gets brutally beaten, but also it must have been humiliating to be put as an example to all of those who felt disdain at him.

It's not too graphic but everyone’s reaction to it and the sounds he makes are enough to know how bad it is. Also the poor ant is left all bruised.

Look at him!

Come on, is there any other Pixar's movie in which a character gets hurt like this? Yes, there are other characters getting hurt. But none as viciously as him. Holy shit, they went too hard on him!

Now Hopper is using him to set the example for everyone, to keep them in line.

But Flik is not having it and somehow gathers the strength to get up.

(The sounds he makes and the effort it takes him to stand up 👌)

It took just a look from Hopper to intimidate him before, but now even when he is menacingly approaching him, Flik doesn't stop talking back. He's so defiant right now and doesn’t break eye contact. Not until Hopper hits him, confirming what he just said.

Hopper looks so terrifying with that raged expression and the fire behind him. He's such a vicious villain and it’s so well established I really thought at this part: Oh, no! He is so screwed!

Filk was so badass with his speech, even though he is visibly in pain. He didn’t know he would inspire everyone and get saved from a certain doom. They never believed in him, so why would they now?

They all knew how screwed they were, they didn’t meet the quota and it was impossible to do so. The bird was the only hope and they we’re so eager to do it but they dropped the plan so easily as soon as they knew it was his idea. That’s the faith they had in him.

Still he didn’t show Hopper any fear. Damn he was so fucking brave!

Just look at this sadistic smile when he is about to squish him. Flik is so weak he can’t do anything about it.

But then Atta stands up for him.

(I love the parallels, first she is so terrified she is about to throw him under the bus, but now she doesn't hesitate to put herself in front of Hopper to protect him. Also I love how she mimics Hopper’s circle of life thing he told her first)

Flik looks so vulnerable, poor ant. I love that Atta tells him she’s proud of him.

And then all the ants finally attack the grasshoppers, making them fly for their lives. Leaving Hopper behind.

But it isn’t enough to stop him.

Now that he completely lost control over the ants and his gang abandoned him, all because of Flik, he only has one thing in mind: revenge.

(The way he targets Flik 👌)

I love how Atta is now so protective towards him.

(The way he snatches and takes him away 👌)

It was short, but still a great and intense chase scene.

I love the way the gang grows to respect him. When he is gonna tell them his idea to make a bird they don’t wanna listen, until they get their egos inflated by getting asked for autographs. But in the scene were they’re celebrating and Flik approaches them to set them free, cause he is not going to put them in a position in which they have to fight, they take some steps closer to him and pay full attention, they genuinely care to listen to whatever he has to say.

And now they get into action so fast, as soon as they see he is in danger they turn themselves into the warriors they were reluctant to be, motivated for his sake. That’s so heartwarming.

Flik is at Hopper’s mercy now. It is now when he’s seen truly terrified. He screams for help, hoping for his friends to rescue him. He knows how screwed he'll be if Hopper succeeds in taking him away.

For a moment it seems like Hopper is gonna get away with him. Where is he taking him to? What is he gonna do to him? It’s clear he wants him dead, but seriously, HOW was he intending to do it?

(Pay attention to Flik's free leg, he's trying to kick Hopper's hand but it's useless. There's nothing he can do.)

But fortunately Atta comes to the rescue again.

Then, it comes this moment.

(The way Hopper lands cutting his path and towers over him👌)

It's also admirable how Flik doesn't get blinded by fear and remembers the real bird they encounter before. (That scene is such a key moment, not only foreshadowing Hopper’s doom but Fliks wit. While the circus gang is panicking, he quickly comes up with a plan)

Flik knows they can’t escape from Hopper nor fight him, they have no chance with him. So he hides Atta and tells her “No matter what happens, stay down”, knowing exactly what he’s getting into and being willing to take it.

Look how terrified Flik is. Yes, he knows what he is doing but it doesn't seem like he's fully acting it. Even though he’s begging, giving Hopper what he wants so he thinks he won and puts his guard down, he does seems scared. There’s no guarantee he’ll be okay.

This poor ant has been put in distress three times in a row now.

(The way he grabs him by his neck and strangles him. Again, the sounds he makes 👌)

The way he strangles him is so brutal.

"I'll get more grasshoppers and be back next season. But you won't!" Damn the way he says the last part.

Hopper has such a murder face, he is so vicious. The way he effortlessly grabs him and the violent movement of his hands is terrifying.

Flik's expression as he gasps and reaches Hopper's hands shows how hard he's squeezing. If the bird had taken a few more seconds he would be dead.

And thankfully the bird comes out, being this his third rescue.

Just look how tiny and fragile Flik looks in Hopper's hands. He just lolls along with his movements, totally helpless 👌

I just love how relieved and proud of himself he looks as he says “Yep!” when Hopper ask’s if it’s another fake bird.

Just look at him, this poor ant has had enough.

And then the scene ends in the most satisfying and gruesome way.

The way Flik gets to defeat Hopper is genius. It is clear how dangerous he is and how helpless Flik is against him, so he outsmarts him and the fact he is able to do so under so much distress is just badass.

Everyone acknowledges how Hopper’s death is one of the most gruesome and horrible from any other Disney and Pixar villain to have, and it's true. But not so many mentions the fact that Flik is put through so much distress, poor ant shouldn’t be able to get up so easily after that.

I would've liked to watch some aftermath involving a lot of comfort, because he really deserves it, along with a HUGE apology from the colony. Except from Dot, of course. Also I think Atta does redeem herself by saving him twice.

The Queen is the one that owes him the biggest apology for accusing him of putting himself before the others. Yes, he made a lot of mistakes cause he is clumsy, and the miscommunication with the circus bugs wasn’t entirely his fault (The fact he did take the time to explain but talked to the rollie pollies was hilarious)

They lied to him first. But I liked that detail when everyone cheers for his departure and he thinks they’re supporting him, that was so cruel but anticipated how gullible he is. Of course he was gonna believe the circus bugs were warriors that easily.

He was in no good position to just tell the truth even if he wanted to, so he had to work with what he had, pleasing the colony and pleasing the circus bugs. That was a shit ton of pressure over him and he was doing it so well. His plan was good, he gave hope to the colony for the first time ever and gave all the credit to the “warriors” since no one believed in him. He was always thinking of ways to make things easier for everyone. And he further proves that by putting his life at risk for them.

He deserves more praise, the colony should've received him back like: "Hey, we're really sorry for judging you and also, take this: 👑 you dropped it king"

Taking such a brutal beating, getting so violently taken away and getting so viciously strangled isn't something someone just can go about as if nothing happened. I really wish for an aftermath scene full of comfort.

I know, I know, they have to stick to a running time and for the sake of the plot and the tone of the movie it has to skip the aftermath and that’s okay. I just I like to imagine how it might went between that scene and the next one. There’s definitely a time skip cause Flik isn’t bruised anymore, and Heimlich got time to grew wings

Overall, I think it’s a great movie (my Pixar’s favorite, if it isn’t obvious already) and a great scene that concludes with the message put through the movie, by Flik and Hopper, about a seed becoming something bigger. (It's a great thing they both have opposing speeches about a seed, Flik meaning inspiration and Hopper meaning a warning) I can’t emphasize enough how this movie deserves more praise!

I really miss the evil and merciless villains that were evil for the sake of being evil and intimidating we don't get to see anymore in modern movies.

But anyway, because of all the things that happen in the scene and because there's that trope of a Whumpee sacrifying for others, using a phrase such as: "I'm the one you want" the whumperflies this scene gives me are just...

So tell me fellow whump enjoyers. What do you think about this?

[cjsarchive]

I like the insecure mc with sam fic you wrote, can you do a matthew one? like incorperating the fact he cooks a lot of sweets maybe.

Yep, hope you enjoy!<3

The Most Beautiful Girl-Matthew x Female Reader

I stared at myself in the mirror. Stared at my stomach, hips and thighs. I sucked in my stomach and turned to look at myself from the side. I definitely like how this looks. But when I let my stomach rest, I felt like crap. I need to stop obsessing over how I look. I look at myself in the mirror too much. But I couldn’t help but keep coming back to examine myself, my body, what I need to work on and fix. I sighed.

“Hey, you okay?” I turned towards the voice and saw Matthew was standing in the doorway to my bedroom.

“Oh, yeah I'm okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. I’m okay,” I forced a smile on my face, hoping to convince him. He didn’t look fully convinced, but he didn’t push any further.

“Alright, if you say so. Anyways, dinner’s done!” He grinned.

“Okay, coming!” I looked at myself in the mirror one more time. I didn’t have an appetite right now, but I followed Matthew downstairs anyway. I sat down across from him.

“I made your favorite dessert tonight too!”

“Thanks,” I wanted to smile, but I only felt worse. He was so sweet, but he didn’t know the thought of eating anything sweet right now made me nauseous. I tilted my head down, hiding my face, and began to eat.

I managed to scarf my food down, but I still couldn’t touch the dessert. Matthew must have noticed me simply staring at it, “Is everything okay? Are you tired of that? Cause I can make something else for dessert if you want!” He offered.

“Um, no it’s okay. I’m just full right now. I’ll eat it tomorrow.” I couldn’t read the expression on his face, it made me anxious.

“Alright, I’ll handle dishes and stuff tonight, okay?” He walked over to me and left a kiss on my forehead before taking the dishes to the kitchen. Ugh, why am I being so difficult?

I went back up to my bedroom. I look towards the mirror. I tried to stop myself. I need to stop looking in the mirror. But as I thought that, my feet were already making their way towards the mirror. I stared for a long time. I can’t keep being like this. I can’t keep being myself. I grabbed my phone and looked up dieting routines online. I was so focused on it that I didn’t notice Matthew had come in until I felt his arms wrap around my waist.

“I know I keep asking but are you sure you’re alright? You seemed kinda off at dinner.” He said softly. Before I could turn my phone off, he saw my search results on my phone. “You wanna start dieting?” He asked, confused. I hesitated. There was no point in lying to him now.

I sighed, “Yes. I want to lose weight.”

“Why?”

The words slipped out before I could catch them, “Because I don’t like my body.” After I let that out, the words just kept coming, “I want to feel good about my body, I really do. I try to convince myself it’s not that big of a deal. But then I see so many girls with my body type going on diets, having intense workout routines, working to be slimmer, and trying to get the ‘ideal body.’” My eyes started to water, but I blinked the tears away, “It’s hard to feel good about my body when everywhere I look, I’m being shown that my body is not ideal and I should be working to change it. That’s why I don’t want to eat dessert. I’m just so tired of feeling shitty.”

Matthew was silent for a moment, taking in what I had said. He gently turned me around to look at him.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you felt like that. If I had known I wouldn’t have made-“

“No, you have nothing to be sorry for. You’ve done nothing but be kind and sweet to me. You always try to make me happy. I don’t even know why you’re with me, Matthew. All I’ve done lately is whine and be difficult. I don’t deserve someone like you.” I looked down, I couldn’t even look him in the eye. I felt small. Matthew stood in thought for a while before he softly smiled.

“I have an idea.”

He led me over and we both sat on the bed. He reached into his pockets and pulled out various plushies. Two of which looked like me and Matthew. He placed the plushies at the end of the bed.

“What is this, Matthew?”

“Just watch.” I looked at the toys and they started moving, like they had come to life, “I’m gonna tell you a story.” I looked at him in slight surprise before taking my attention back to the toys. “Once there was a guy named Matthew,” The Matthew plush stood front and centre and waved at me. I giggled at the sight, “After he left the demon world, he got to explore the wonders of the human world, and all it had to bring.” His plush was shown wandering and experiencing different things such as books, stores, and food. “But there was something he had yet to experience: Love. Love wasn’t a thing in the world he grew up in, he never experienced it. Until he met..” A puppet that looked like me propped up. Matthew conjured a little spotlight as well and shined it on my plush. “This girl turned Matthew’s life upside down! In the best way of course. From the day they first met, she showed Matthew kindness, letting him and his brothers live with her when they had nowhere else to go. Matthew didn’t know it yet, but from that day forward, he would never be able to get this girl out of his mind. Again, in the best way.” I laughed as I continued to watch the puppet show.

“He was attracted to her so quickly. Her kindness, her gentleness, her beauty, her independence. She was amazing! He loved being able to be close to her, he loved the person he was when he was with her. She made him feel so empowered, like he could do anything! He’d never met anyone who made him feel like that. He was 100 percent in love with her!” The plushies began reenacting all the dates Matthew and I went on. I felt a great wave of nostalgia remembering them all. Before I knew it, tears started flowing, “Even though she doesn’t feel great about her body right now, Matthew still felt her body was beautiful and didn’t need to change. She was the most gorgeous woman he ever knew. A woman he never wanted to live without. A woman he loved more than anything. And he’ll never leave her. Ever.” The two plushies hugged and I felt my heart melt. All the toys then stood in a line and bowed to me. “To the most beautiful and wonderful girl.” The toys then went limp again.

Matthew rubbed the back of his neck and blushed, “Heh, I know it’s a kinda corny but-“ I didn’t let him finish as I threw myself into his arms. I sobbed in his shoulder. I was so overwhelmed with happiness.

“T-that was beautiful, Matthew,” I sputtered out. I squeezed him tighter. Matthew hugged me back just as tight.

“I’m really glad you liked it.” He gently pulled away, but still held me as he looked at me, “If you really want to start dieting, I’ll support you. But there’s nothing wrong with your body or your size, I promise! You are gorgeous.” He reassured me again. I smiled bright before I leaned in and gave him a gentle but passionate kiss on the lips. He very happily kissed back.

“I love you, Matthew. I love you so much.”

Matthew smiled and left multiple kisses all over my face, making me giggle, “I love you too, beautiful.”

[littleesistler]

tickle questions

Tickle Questions? Cause Why Not?

1. What’s your favorite tickle tool?

I don’t know but I’m just in love with electric toothbrushes like once I even removed all the bristles from an old toothbrush head to make it a flat attachment. And yeah an electric toothbrush can act like a makeshift massage gun for those who don’t have one. And an electric toothbrush behind ears, collarbone, hands, ribs, hips, belly, bellybutton, knees and feet. I love, and you can even tickle yourself with it, muahaha I love it 😈🪥

2. Favorite Ler? (Tag them if you dare~)

well my mom and my childhood friend that I mentioned in another post🥰

but my favorite lers here on tumblr is are, please give me a good tickle 🥺

@the-shy-ler (this blog is sfw)

@missamyrisa2 (this blog is both sfw and nsfw)

3. Favorite Lee? (Tag them to call them out~)

my cousins, my friends, my friends younger siblings

but my faovirte lees on tumblr are, please I wanna give a good tickle 🤭

@kikibumblesqueaks (this blog is sfw)

@fluffallamaful (this blog is sfw)

4. Opinion on blindfolds/restraints? Why or why not? ‘if it helps the Lee relax then yeah they can be good options especially if a Lee is ticklish to a violent degree it can help, but for me I don’t want someone to be or myself to be restrained the full time. Or their hands and feet might get sore. No no no no. None of that. So one me as the Lee or the Lee has melted and relaxed there aren’t any points for restraints anymore, so I’ll just remove them and cuddle them while giving more tickles to their desired intensity or soem after care 😚🧸

5. A spot that gets you squealing? my hips and bellybutton, like I can sound like a seagull when I laugh in those spots 😂

6. How long do you estimate you could last before calling mercy? Well it depends on spot and my head space, but yeah if I get competitive I won’t go down without a fight. So I’ll be the brat this little annoying shit I can be 😎

7. Ever have tickle fantasies? yeah like I can lucid dream so many of my dreams are about tickling, but not just like ticking without a plot. Like it will be a scene weaved into the dream to make the characters bond. Like lol my dreams are like little movies or series. (I can explain this more if anyone wants) 😴 8. Why did you make your tickle blog? Well I’m very creative and I have lots of different perspectives and ideas, so I wanted to like add my own charm to the community. And since I’m equally a ler and Lee a full switch I can be so many things for so many different people. but if I’m being honest my zebra buddy @kikibumblesqueaks inspired me the most, since she/they also have eds and I fell in love with writing about my condition and how tickling helps me like it does for her/them 🤗

9. Does anyone irl know of your interests? my mom and my childhood best friend, they are both very supportive 🥰

10. Can you say the t-word? Yeah when I’m in my ler mood it’s my favorite words, tickle, tickler, tickling, ticklish, tickly, ticklee 😈

but if I’m in my Lee mood, well yeah no way 🫠

11. Verbal teases, yes or no and why?

Katlyn yes 😜 I mean any type of tease adds more personality and bonding, it makes it more personal. Like if I’m tickling someone and just starting at them it can feel a bit sinister so even if the Lee can’t answer I love to ask little questions,

like oh ready for me to get your tummy. I see your feet are wiggling a bit, oh look at that smile I might just drag a feather under your nose and shin.

It like ads that little extra flavor and makes it more playful and childish. So cute 🥺

12. Upper body tickles or lower body tickles? upper body it’s more intimate and you can like see the lees face and expression. Like them hugging me or me hugging my ler while I get tickles. It also leaves room for the to playfully fight back ☺️

13. Neck or ear tickles? behind ears your honor 😩

14. Pinned on your back, or your stomach? on back since I want to see my lees face and I don’t want them to have trouble breathing. Ask them being on their back makes it more fair like they have more mobility and I love some little roughhousing 🥰

15. What do you love about the lees you know? my cousin loves to hug my and giggle with her eyes closed 🤗

my childhood friend shakes her head and holds my hands 😘

16. What do you love about the lers you know?

my mom smirks and eyes full of glee as she tickles me 😍

my childhoods friends eyebrow raise and smirk 😏

17. Feathers or Paint Brushes? paint brushes your honor, like they give so much more control. And as a traditional artist I can like pain with body paint and make a big tease with it all. like I have this game idea where you paint on the lees tummy or arms but the bellybutton or palm or hands are where you mix the paint.

also with the paintbrush you have like a wooden end, perfect for trading ribs or stretch marks 🫠

18. How long have you known about your interests in the community? well when I was a kid I’d like replay a tickle sene from a kids show over and over again and I’d like memorize what episode that tickle sene was. When I was 9 my family got our first iPad so I watched a lot of elsagate with tickling (that was kinda inappropriate, don’t recommend) I searched for fanfics when I was 15, mainly sonic ones. But it was first when I was 18 and I fell in love with the Dsmp that I found tumblr pages like, @fluffallamaful @covenofwives @wishitweresummer @mushiewrites that I truly fell down this rabbit hole 🥰 I love you guys !

19. What’s your favorite way to be tickled? (As in provoked, teased into asking, etc.)

well any way really as long as it’s clear I’m giving my consent and I feel safe, then yeah all ways to getting tickled are welcome. But I like love when someone can tell my Lee mode, like I get more touchy and whiny then usally and they just tease until I ask them to tickle me silly 🙃

20. Are you/Do you like Polite Lees or Bratty Lees? (Asking for tickles vs Pissing someone off for tickles) Feel free to add questions/truth or dares to these if you wish!

oh I love when I have a brat that melts and becomes a clingy little puppy after an attitude adjustment or a polite Lee getting impatient and more irritated for anticipation. I love them both and especially when you get to that tickle point when they do an uno reverse card.

But if I’m being honest I love me a little brat I can teach some manners, watch out 😈🪶

[luckyroll3]

Crimson Lights: Chapter 14

Masterlist

The first sliver of sun cuts through the darkness as Changbin wrenches the curtains wide open, flooding Chris' room with a harsh morning light. I squint against the sudden brightness and pull the covers up to my chin, watching Chris groan and burrow his face into his pillow.

"Rise and shine, hyung" Changbin's voice was devoid of sympathy. "You've got thirty minutes before we need to be on the road."

"Ugh," Chris' muffled protest comes from beneath the pillow. "Alright, alright, I'm up." He swings his legs over the side of the bed, stands up, and does a full body stretch, his dick prominently on display.

“Put that shit away!” Changbin yells as he raises his hands up to shield his eyes from Chris' naked body.

“Hey! You're the one who barged into my bedroom, so you get the full show!” Chris says as he scratches an ass cheek and winks at Changbin. He staggers like a man walking off a battlefield as he makes his way to the shower.

The room falls silent except for the sound of water hitting tile. I sit up, rubbing my eyes, and find Changbin already perched on the edge of the bed, studying me with an intensity that makes my stomach do a small flip.

"Hey," I say. "Was all this necessary?" I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Absolutely," he replies, his lips curving into a half-smile as he lays back on the headboard and crosses his legs at the ankles. He's wearing black slacks and a gray, short sleeve polo that accentuates his muscles.

I rest my head in his lap. “You are so annoying!”

"But you love me anyway.” He sticks a finger in my ear and I swat it away. “How was your night with Chan and Hyunjin? Wild?”

“What do you know?” I ask, slightly embarrassed.

Changbin adjusts the sheet covering my naked body, pulling it up gently to prevent my breasts from being exposed. The side of his thumb slightly brushes just under my collarbone. I’m unsure if it was intentional or not so I ignore it. “Han messaged me about the show the 3 of you put on on the dance floor.” He shakes his head in mock disappointment.

That little fucking gossip! I think to myself making a reminder to strangle Han next time I see him. “And Hyunjin’s passed out on the couch. What's he doing out there anyway?”

“You know why,” I state matter of factly.

Changbin laughs. “I did tell you he doesn't really like to share.”

“Well, he shared….until he didn't. Then he kicked Hyunjin out.” I cover my face with both hands. “But Binnie, last night was more than wild. That's the craziest thing I've ever experienced! I don’t think I've ever been so turned on like I was watching the 2 of them together.”

“They are hot,” he says, slightly mocking me with a smirk. “Of course it wouldn't have been a night out without Hyunjin starting a fight.”

“I actually started it,” I whispered. “But that asshole deserved it. He touched me and he called me the c-word.”

“You know they ended up taking him to the hospital.”

“Did they? He didn't look that bad,” I reply, my mind flashing back to the scene of chaos at the club.

“He wasn't until Chan and Han got a hold of him. They beat him within an inch of his life. He's very lucky that both Felix and Minho were there too. They're the only ones, other than me, who could have talked those two down.”

“Hmmm. Chris didn't say anything.” I pause. “What would you have done?” I eye him curiously.

“I would have shattered every one of the 54 bones in his two hands for daring to lay a finger on you,” his voice dropping to a husky timbre that made the air around us feel charged. His fingers graze my forehead as he gently brushes a curl out of my face, causing me to blush slightly.

Silence stretches between us for a few moments. I take a deep breath. "So…how was your night with Lauren?" I ask casually, repositioning myself to stare at the ceiling.

Changbin's posture shifts, his broad shoulders rolling as if shrugging off an invisible weight. "It was good," he says, but the words come out a bit flat. "We, uh, we slept together, but I didn't stay over."

"Oh?" I tilt my head back towards him, my eyes narrowing as I take in his tense posture. The morning light filtering through the window glints off his dark hair, casting a halo around him that contrasts with the tension in his frame. "Was it not good? Did y’all not click?”

I can see the hesitation in his face before he starts to speak. “No, we clicked. It was actually great. We had a lot of fun.”

I pause before probing further. “So what happened? Did she... was she cool with that? With you leaving, I mean?"

He glances down, his fingers picking at the edge of the comforter, creating tiny mountains and valleys in the fabric. "I think so. I mean, I haven't really talked to her yet."

"Changbin," I say gently, reaching over to still his fidgeting hands. "You should message her. Just a quick text to let her know you're thinking about her." I whisper the suggestion.

His eyes lift to mine, and there it is—an unmistakable blush staining his cheeks, a softness to his gaze that hadn't been there moments ago. "You think so?" His voice has softened too, almost imperceptibly.

"Yeah," I nod. “Unless…you don't want to see her anymore. And if that's the case, man up and tell her.”

“No, I like her,” he admits softly, but sounding almost like he's trying to convince himself. “But…”

“No buts! Gimme.” I reach my hand out motioning for his phone.

"Kay, you don't have to—" He starts to protest, but the words die on his lips as our fingers touch while he hands me the phone.

"It's not a big deal." I smile reassuringly, but my heart hammers against my ribcage, betraying me. Why did the air seem thinner all of a sudden?

"Okay," he relents with a sigh. "I don't know what to say."

"Let's keep it simple." I reposition myself so that I'm sitting next to him against the headboard, tucking the sheet under my armpits. I began typing, conscious of his gaze on me. 'Hey Lauren, had a great time last night. Hope you're having a good morning. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you. Can't wait to see you again soon.' I show him the screen.

"Perfect," he murmurs, but his eyes aren't on the message; they remain fixed on me.

"Sent." I hit the button before I could second-guess the impulse and he can reconsider. "There, now she knows you didn't just ghost her after you fucked. Cause that's the worst fucking feeling."

"Thanks, Kay," he says, but the slight unease lingers in his face, and I can’t deny the electricity that seems to dance between us, charged by something unspoken yet felt deeply.

"Anytime," I reply, my voice a mere whisper, wondering why my pulse is racing. I hand the phone back.

Chris emerges from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. As he walks towards the closet, his gaze flickers between us. “What's with the two of you,” he asks, his eyebrow raises quizzically, amusement evident in his tone.

“Nothing!” Changbin and I both exclaim simultaneously, before dissolving into giggles.

Chris purses his lips, then chuckles slightly. “It's always something with you guys,” he says before disappearing into his walk-in closet.

I turn back to Changbin, my eyes scanning over his outfit. He looks great. “Why are you so dressed up?” I reach over to fix his collar.

“Important meeting with a potential new investor for one of the businesses.”

I assume since he's talking about it openly, it must be for one of the legal ones. “One of the clubs?” I ask.

“An outdoor shopping center development. But we plan to open another club there as well.”

I nod. “So no ripped sleeves today?” I tease, a wide grin spreading on my face.

He tries to suppress a laugh. “Stop making fun of my favorite shirt!” he yells, mock offense in his tone.

“You act like it's your only shirt.”

“You do,” Chris agrees as he walks out of the closet, looking suave as fuck in a tailored black suit jacket and trousers. The material hugs his frame perfectly, while a light blue shirt unbuttoned to just below his collarbone adds a touch of casualness.

“Not all of us want to be the GQ man of the year. But you always look sexy, hyung!” Changbin jokes.

“Yeah, yeah.” Chris chuckles as he fixes the buttons on his sleeve. “Can we go?”

“Yup.” Changbin hops off the bed and smooths his pants out.

“Bye babe,” Chris says to me, sitting in the spot Changbin just vacated to kiss me gently on the lips. “I'll see you tonight?”

“No, I have a date.” I turn to Changbin. “We still on for tonight?" I ask, already looking forward to our usual Sunday night ritual.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Changbin replies with a wide grin, his eyes briefly locking with mine.

“Right. Housewives’ night.” Chris sighs.

“You can always join us,” I say, running my fingers through his hair playfully.

“Nah. I'm good.” Leaning in closer, he whispers in my ear, “You know I love you, right?”

A smile spreads across my face as I reply, “Yeah. I love you too.” We share another sweet kiss, before he pulls away.

“I’ll stop by after your date.”

“Okay.” He gets up and heads towards the door. “Bye Binnie,” I call out.

“Bye. And we'll take Hyunjin with us and drop him off.”

“Thank you! I’m too hungover to deal with him,” I say as I grab a pillow to lie on and pull the covers over my head.

As Chris follows behind Changbin, I hear Chris ask, “He’s still here??”

[autumnmobile12]

“You’ve always been so good with children, Mai,”  Rei said.  “But you’ve never talked about having any of your own.”

This hadn’t been the first time someone had asked her about this.

As she searched for the words to a concise answer, Mai pulled her mom’s old house key from her neck and dangled it in front of the baby in her arms.  “What is that, Touya?  What’s that?”  It wasn’t as though she hadn’t thought about it.  Mai liked children, and many of the hundreds she’d rescued or helped rescue had taken a liking to her.  Ayako had often told her she would be a good mother.  And yet, “My Quirk is distressing, Rei.  It's not fire or ice. It's not a power I can just stop using. What it allows me to see and experience is so real and so intense that if I were to pass that along to any potential children, or some variation of it…if I were to wake up in the middle of the night because a son or daughter of mine was inconsolable over a nightmare, knowing I’m the cause, I don’t think I could live with myself.”

Rei put a hand on her back.  “You’ve never told me this.  I knew your abilities troubled you sometimes, but——”

“No, don’t worry about it,”  Mai said with a smile.  “The idea of not having kids doesn’t bother me, really it doesn't.  It just means I’ll have to be content with being an auntie to this little one.  Isn’t that right, you little firebug?”

By now, Touya had grabbed ahold of the key and was trying to tug it away from her.  Mai stuck her tongue out at him.

...

“Tomorrow’s Saturday,”  Aunt Mai said.  “I don’t want you to go to the mountain.”

“But——”

“We’re going to…”  He watched her face scrunch up in search of an idea.  Mom did the same thing sometimes.  She used to.  “The zoo.  We are going to the zoo.”

“What?”

“Yep.  You and your siblings.  We’ll head there tomorrow.”  At that, she pushed away from the table and rose to her full height.  She was a little taller than Mom, so he was barely higher than her elbow, and yet for some reason, he always felt so much smaller next to her.  Bringing her hands together in a light clap, Mai said with a wide smile,  “We’ll go see the animals, we’ll get ice cream, and we’ll all have a wonderful time.  Sound good, Firebug?”

Touya stared at her.  “I’m not five anymore.”

“Neither am I, what’s your point?”  She crossed her arms and tilted her head to one side so that her long braid dangled off her shoulder.  “Don’t go acting tough with me.  I know for a fact you still love polar bears.”

He supposed they hadn’t gone to the zoo, or anywhere fun, in a long time. Mom was never the same after Shouto was born, and Dad didn't have time for any of them aside from Shouto. And from the look in her eyes, Aunt Mai knew it, too.

...

(on phone) "This isn't a good time, Naru."

"This is important."

"Is it more important than teaching my niece and nephews how to make tea, preferably without it winding up in someone's face?"

"..."

"..."

"...carry on."

"That's what I thought. Talk later."

...

If you saw my other post notes on this crossover and read the snippet I wrote with Mai and Hawks, you probably already saw that I have the Ghost Hunt cast aged up quite a bit compared to the usual fandom stuff I do.  To clarify, in the current timeline of My Hero’s canon, Mai is forty-six years old.  (She’s actually a month older than Endeavor. There’s nothing significant about that; it’s just petty ‘I’m marginally older than you,’ fodder and I think that’s funny.)

In this crossover, Mai chose to never have children.  Since Quirks are hereditary, she feared passing her Retrocognition and the Death Dreams that come with it along to potential descendants and what it might mutate into over the generations.  She decided her power was one of pain and anguish and she refused to willingly inflict that on someone else.  That said, she did grow up with Rei, so she is very close with Rei’s children and inevitably got herself entangled in the family’s toxic dynamics.  But here is the conundrum I’m having with exploring avenues for this crossover because there are three ways to look at Mai’s presence and how it affects My Hero’s canon, particularly the events revolving around Touya’s ‘death’ and how Mai’s dreams work:

Scenario 1:  The fire and feeling every second of that experience firsthand through one of her dreams was traumatic enough that she was deceived into believing he died.  Canon events continue as normal.

Scenario 2:  Since Touya wasn’t actually killed by the fire, the incident wouldn’t trigger one of her dreams, and therefore she would know he didn’t die, which firmly lands him in missing person territory.  Investigation ensues.

Scenario 3:  The fire never happened.

The reason for this last one is based on this previous post, but the main part of it is Mai definitely is a character who has the mental fortitude and determination to stand up to someone like Endeavor, and the absence of that character-type is a huge part of how and why the situation in the Todoroki family got so out of hand.  Rei would not stand up to the threat to herself or her children, and the kids were too young to do so for themselves even if they were able to understand their family dynamic was not normal/healthy.  No one was checking Endeavor’s behavior.  Enter the very angry sister-in-law and her, “Fuck around and find out, I dare you,” mentality.

That said, I do have the headcanon that adult Mai is also super wary around kids due to her many, many close encounters with weird kids/ghost kids in canon.  So I think her method of dealing with Touya’s increasingly erratic behavior is probably a mixture of resignation, turning to the other three and saying, “Promise me your teenage years won’t be like this,” and then having to go talk the little pyromaniac down from whatever frenzy he’s worked himself into because apparently neither parent was going to do it.

Bringing us to the million dollar question: Can Mai deal with Touya?

Well…between how quickly she interceded with what the creepy Yoshimi kids were up to and her lifelong career of dealing with arrogant, little shits…yes, yes she can.  If she can handle Naru’s arrogance, Ayako and Takigawa’s bickering, and Yasuhara’s bullshit all in the same day, she can handle a thirteen year old having a crisis.

Plus, I think if she knew he was on Sekoto Peak, waiting for his dad in the dark and the cold, it would probably bring up some uncomfortable memories of what happened to Kenji, so she definitely would’ve gone looking for him.

[arachnixe]

Past The Limits Of Worship

(Part 4 of The New Goddess - Previous: Blessed Date Night)

(Check the OP tags for full CWs and be aware that this has torture/mutilation/death with resurrection.)

I know when my Goddess returns by the way the whole palace comes alive in Her presence. The floor, the walls, even the very air carries a subtle vibration of Her power when She, the beating heart of our home, steps foot inside. My legs buoyed with renewed energy, the anticipation of laying eyes upon Her again carries me onward with quickened steps.

I can feel the hum through my boots; it grows in intensity with every step of my approach. The glowing columns illuminating these halls seem a little bit brighter too.

She’s here. She’s here!

Light leaks all around the doors to my quarters. My breath hitches, my palms prickle with sweat, I wet my lips with my tongue. Her power has grown again, hasn’t it? It was almost too much to handle last time, but now…?

I push open the doors with a delicious mix of nervous excitement, and immediately my eyes betray me, reflexively closing to shield me from Her radiance. No. I force them back open again, but already Her brightness fades to a more manageable intensity.

How merciful She is, even when I would refuse Her mercy. Please don’t dim yourself for me, my Goddess. I can handle it!

Her laughter was always music to me, but now it has become an entire orchestra, waves of sound buffeting my whole body, driving me to my knees with tears in my eyes and ringing in my ears.

You always did want more than you could handle, little bird.

Little bird is a new one. I’ll happily try it on and see how it feels. I never liked names. They always seem to chafe after a while, and Her playfully shifting terms of address for me are a kindness I’d never thought to ask for. I love Her so much my heart could burst.

It might, if I touch you now. That’s how I nearly ruined a mortal on my way back here. I am still choking down the meal I made of this latest god, and I do not yet have mastery over this new surge of power.

Speaking straight into my thoughts is easier on my body, but it still feels like the scorching pressure of a hot iron on my mind. I can handle it, though. She blesses me, knowing how I relish the sheer excess of all this. Sure, it hurts, but it Herts.

That was barely a pun at all, but my Goddess still laughs with enough force to make me dizzy, make tunnel vision closing in, bring a trickle from my nose—oh, that tastes like blood—and cause me to nearly pass out. Still I’m determined to hang on to consciousness for Her, fixing my gaze on Her glorious body and willing myself to remain alert through pure worship.

She floats in midair between floor and ceiling, not a stitch of clothing hiding Her body from me. I’m not sure it could. Any paltry efforts of mere fabric to coneal Her would be thwarted by the intensity of Her radiance shining through, or maybe it would simply burn up on contact with the flesh of my Goddess. She’s beautiful beyond words, like a vessel for every color, every flavor of light ever dreamt by mortal minds and then some, like a piece of the cosmos brought down here to live with us in human form.

My eyes are drawn to Her extremities, and I might have to revise that thought, actually. Fingers and toes flicker between different shapes. For a moment I see the slender fingers of Her pre-ascension form, and then they shiver and shift into… claws? Talons? Something made to rip and tear, for sure, hands that could gouge new canyons into the earth and cleave continents to pieces.

Is that approval I hear in your thoughts, little bird?

More than approval. My heart aches at the new frontiers of beauty my Goddess is manifesting. “Don’t dim yourself for me” means more than just light. Don’t hide what You are becoming, please, I beg You! I want it all!

One reason among many why you are special to me. I had no reason to doubt you would feel this way, but I must admit I enjoy your mental slavering.

My Goddess sighs with the kind of satisfaction a mortal might express from removing a particularly constricting corset, and Her talons stabilize. They lengthen, even. A long, skeletal tail uncoils out of thin air and dangles in such a way that the wicked barb on the end points in my direction. My breath quickens again. A third eye opens on Her forehead. Then another between Her breasts. Then more, scores of eyes opening down Her arms and legs, all wildly inhuman. No, they’re not just inhuman; nothing I’ve ever seen has eyes like these, with multiple pupils in odd shapes and sizes swiming in irises of countless hues. As one, they all stare at me, unblinking.

My heart pounds in my chest. Goddess. Words do not suffice. You redefine the very concept of beauty.

I can’t help myself. I crawl toward Her, wordless pleading filling my thoughts with a desperate need I have no way to articulate. I raise my hand toward Her, and my Goddess blesses me by withdrawing Her mercy and allowing my hand to grasp Her ankle.

My mind survives in the same way a robin’s eggshell might hold a waterfall or an ant might sip from a volcano. Tattered fragments of self are carried on a storm of power not even She has mastered yet, my only awareness a scream that extends from the dawn of time to its conclusion. I am broken and scoured clean and pulverized into dust and partially reconstituted just enough to be shattered again and again.

Then my heart does burst, and I die for the second time.

As before, my Goddess saves me. Not with the gentleness She showed the first time—I think gentless is beyond Her for the moment—but with a fierce growl, ripping me from the grip of death and slamming me back into my fully restored body.

I gasp, eyes shooting open, arching my back with the incomparable intensity of that experience. “Goddess… oh Goddess…” the words tumble out of my mouth, my need to worship Her, worship Her, worship Her an all-consuming bonfire inside me.

Ahhh, you enjoyed that somehow, didn’t you? The thought enters my mind with teeth bared in a savage grin.

I blink my eyes clear. “Goddess, yes.” I raise my eyes to look upon Her face again, but I get distracted by the ravishing danger of Her tail—so long, so thick, skeletal, not even sheathed by the softness of flesh, and that barb at the end looks razor sharp—and my thoughts of worship become much more specific.

You want me to break you again?

“Yes, Goddess, but…”

But?

“I need my mind intact when You break my body. I need to exist enough to experience it.” That barb glints so menacingly in the reflected light from Her body. Goddess, I need it in me.

A human mind cannot withstand my touch the way I am now. I lack the control, and moreover at the moment I lack the desire to exercise such control. Do you understand?

“You could pull me one step above humanity. Not too far. Just enough to be able to think when You touch me, but…” I lick my lips, unable to tear my eyes away from that barbed tail, “I want to feel it when You kill me again.”

Mmmm… She enjoyed hearing that request. The sound of Her pleasure coats my mind with a viscous glaze too thick to think through. My eyelids flutter, and I exhale a shuddering breath. Then Her talons clutch my head and pierce inside and…

“Ah.” Sudden clarity, even with Her palm caressing my cheek. My thoughts flow as though lubricated. Are my senses sharper? No, I’m just processing them differently. Better. I look upon my Goddess and no longer have to fight the reflex to squint. I could stare into the sun that is Her exquisite body, savoring the pain of it, until my eyes burn out completely. In response to that thought, She restores herself to the incredible brightness She radiated when I first entered the room. It hits my eyes like daggers, but I refuse to look away.

You impress me, little bird. If you truly wish to enjoy whatever agonies my touch may inflict, it pleases me to oblige. I do not yet know all the pleasures this form may experience, but I see in your thoughts how happy you will be for me to experiment on you.

“Yes,” I gasp. Goddess, yes. To be ruined by You is the greatest gift I might ask for, but to bring You pleasure is greater still.

She cracks Her tail like a whip—I really love Her flair for the dramatic—and coils it around my body, snaking it around my legs, squeezing my waist, bringing that delicious wicked barb right in front of my face. My lips part. I tilt my head toward it.

My Goddess plunges that natural weapon of hers into my mouth. “Aah,” I whimper helplessly with my mouth stuffed full. That thing is as sharp as it looks, and as I lick the razor’s edge it slices my tongue in half. My eyes water from the pain and blood dribbles past my lips, down my chin. Still I suck on it, welcoming the way Her body’s natural form tears my mouth to ribbons, waiting for the moment She plunges it yet deeper, past the point of survival…

No, not yet. My Goddess withdraws Her tail from my mouth, leaving me alive, coughing, struggling for each breath through the blood flowing freely down my throat. I try to close my mouth, but something hitches the wrong way, and I can’t make it happen. My coughing fit dislodges something from inside, and I watch what can only be a chunk of my own tongue, barely recognizable, land on the floor with a wet plop.

Her hands—more unyielding than stone, hotter than coals—grip my waist and sear my flesh in a possessive gesture that would make me weep with joy if I weren’t already sobbing in agony.

Mine.

Yours. Completely and utterly.

My Goddess opens Her mouth and unfurls a thick, heavy tongue, black as midnight and dotted with stars. The way it contrasts so starkly with the brightness of Her body, evoking a solar eclipse (have I ever seen one of those?) as She licks the blood and tears from my face… ah! To think I could ever have felt satisfied with the beauty of any mere human.

She pushes Her tongue into my mouth, not through the usual route, but through the hole in my cheek from fellating Her tail, and the tendrils wriggling on the sides of Her tongue dance among the shreds of mine. The pain is blinding, and my body writhes of its own accord as though I could ever want to break free of Her grip on my waist.

Delicious. To think I could ever have felt satisfied with the flavor of mere human food.

It would be my turn to laugh if I still could. Goddess, I love You desperately. Will You break me now? Please?

I feel Her smile more than see it. With a lighning-quick rush of Her tail, She plunges Her barb between my legs, tearing through flesh, past bone, plunging deeper inside me than any body could survive. I arch my back and barely even feel the scream tear my throat with the way She fills me up and mutilates my insides.

I die for the third time, and for the third time She pulls me back to shore.

My body is whole, but only for a blink before massive teeth descend on my throat and rip it out. I drown in blood and return to the embrace of darkness, where She catches me and restores me to my body once again.

Her thick tail wraps around my skull, and I feel every creak and groan before She crushes it completely and laps the blood off that skeletal appendage of hers. Huh, I shouldn’t be aware of what She does after—

My eyes flutter open. I’m on my back, my Goddess straddling me, flaring brighter and hotter than ever. The smell of cooked meat fills the air, my skin boils and chars, and I stay alive far longer than I thought possible while burning to death. I watch as though from over Her shoulder as She pulls my limbs apart and gorges on my roasted flesh before again—

I awaken in time to feel Her claws pierce through my back as She snaps me messily in half. I have a front-row seat to the way She desecrates my body—or would it be sanctifies?—with gore smeared all over Her thighs. Even those gorgeous eyes decorating Her limbs seem to be drinking my blood.

Oh, it makes my heart full to bursting (again) watching my Goddess enjoying Herself so thoroughly.

I watch with full awareness as She reaches toward my vantage point and pulls me down into a body that knits itself back together in an instant. The moment I return, however, that wild, feral look on Her face falters slightly.

You witnessed that. It wasn’t a question. My mind is an open book for Her. Everything I saw is as obvious to Her as the heady thrill I feel about it. You shouldn’t have been able…

My Goddess pauses, idly trailing a clawed finger down my chest while She contemplates something that might puzzle even a god.

When I changed you, I made you susceptible to further changes. Every death and resurrection is mutating your soul, little by little, in a way I did not predict.

She bends forward, inhaling deeply of my scent.

You are even less human now than I intended. A moment’s pause. And you approve.

I laugh, feeling lighter than air as I lay on my back. Of course I approve! How could I not?

Ah, that feeling. That’s yearning inside you. The words in my mind carry a lilt of mischief. Not unlike the Knight upon witnessing the Rogue in rouge?

Oh, Goddess, of course You heard all of that. My laugh turns bashful and trails away. Even I can feel a touch of embarrassment now and then, it’s true. Wait, hold on, I had my suspicions about Wolfgang, but to compare us on this topic…?

Do not derail your thoughts. I will happily introduce you to precious Nina when the time is right, but now I would have you decide, my tasty little bird. My Goddess punctuates Her demand with a tap of Her claw on my sternum, drawing a single droplet of red.

This is a serious conversation. I will not moan in pleasure from feeling that. But I guess I will think these words, which my Goddess is listening to right now with what I’m sure is more amusement about this metacognition than if I had just given in and moaned all I wanted. Ah, well.

What do I want? What do I yearn for?

My eyes trace every line of the holy figure bearing down on my prone body. It’s not even any specific feature that ties my heart in knots of longing; it’s the stunning whole of Her, the sheer inhumanity of Her metamorphosis.

“Goddess, You’ve already given me everything I need and more, but I look at You now and feel blasphemous envy.” No reason to choose speaking aloud over thinking, except that it feels more ‘official’ or something this way. “I’m not envious of Your power, no, I’ve never wanted the kind of responsibility that comes with power of any sort. I don’t know what exactly I want, but…”

How do I find the words? She knows me better than I do, but She’s told me before: the act, the moment of active decision, changes us. She wants that choice to happen. So what do I want?

“I want to burst out of my own skin. I don’t like being referred to by name, or by any of the words people use to talk about people. And it just makes me feel disgusting when people are attracted to me in the ways they’re attracted to people.”

Yet you enjoy my attraction to you.

“Goddess, yes. You treat me like a… like a thing to play with and laugh at. Like I’m just a really weird bug You found, and then a filthy mess You get to enjoy making, and then dinner.” Her prodding helps clarify my thoughts. “I also wouldn’t mind someone being attracted to my body the way I am yours. Not because I have the genitals that please them, or a shapely nose, or a killer pair of… well, You know.” The less I directly think about my own body, the better. “Honestly, I’d rather look wrong. I’d rather be wrong.”

You would abandon your humanity as you encouraged me to evolve beyond mine.

“Eagerly, my Goddess. I want everyone who looks at me to recognize immediately that I am one of Yours, knowing that only You would claim the loyalty of a thing like me. I want to be defined by my position as Yours.”

Go on, little bird.

“You once said You wanted me for Your jester. Maybe that was a joke, because I’m kind of shit at actual ‘jokes’ and pretty much just leverage snark and the occasional bad pun to—” I’m rambling. “Well anyway! I think I changed my mind.”

I am watching your mind change in real time. You are a fascinating creature.

“See, like that, now I’m a cool shiny beetle or something to You again, and that’s…” I sigh dreamily. “It’s perfect. I want to have lots of opportunities to surprise You.”

She waits for me to settle on what I want to say.

“Let’s start small. One thing at a time, whenever something strikes me. For now… my teeth could stand to be much sharper.”

One clawed finger parts my lips and slips inside my mouth. This time I don’t bother suppressing a moan.

That is eminently doable.

[aller-geez]

Hello, yes! I finally pulled myself from my writers slump, and just had to have this RemixLevi fic after seeing this snz prompt by @blooming-trees the other day..

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Nearly 3K words, RemixLevi snzfic with Remi as the sneezer bc obviously I’m a little bit partial 🫠🫠 Pls enjoy 🖤 would love feedback if you have any! 😭🤧

I’ll Make You A Deal…

A RemixLevi snzfic 🖤

“Remington! What the hell!?” Levi shrieked in frustration as he stormed in from the kitchen, waving around a few different food items in each hand and flinging droplets of water everywhere as he did so. The leopard was greeted by a very lethargic looking wolf who laid stomach down on their shared bed, his mouth hanging open slightly as his dull green eyes remained locked on the screen of their tv and the Xbox controller already clacked away loudly in his hands despite it being 9 am. Both Remi’s eyes and his nose were rimmed with the same matching red, moisture glistening from his septum as he gasped out ragged breaths from his spot the bed. With a liquidy yet unproductive sniffle, the large man finally paused his game to look over at the cat with an eyebrow raised.

“What’d I do?” Remi asked in a low, hoarse voice.

“Did you forget to close the fridge last night after you made your late night snack?” Levi crossed his arms across his chest as he waited patiently for his mate’s reply, almost like a mom after receiving a bad report card.

The wolf visibly thought for a second, trying to imagine himself making his toasted peanut butter and jelly sandwich at 2 am the night before, although everything was pretty fuzzy. Drinking the entire bottle of NyQuil to finally be able to sleep through the constant buzzing in his sinuses probably wasn’t his smartest idea; although he did finally manage to fall asleep afterward, so the canine couldn’t complain too much. “Uh, I don’t remember?”

Levi held the items in his hands out in front of him, waving them around a little with a frustrated scowl. “No, you left it open all night and now all of this food we bought for this whole trip is spoiled!”

A flash of guilt passed over the large man’s features, and he sighed softly before muttering a couple of deep, chesty coughs into his balled up fist. “I’b sorry, Levi, that’s by bad.. I guess it’s doordash for the week, huh?” Remi offered, hoping to try and make a little light of the shitty situation he caused.

Levi gasped and shook his head quickly, a look of horror on his face at the thought of Door Dash for every meal for the next eight days, when they had a perfectly good kitchen to cook in right inside their bus. “Ummm.. no.. we’re going to find the grocery store and get FOOD.”

“Levi, combe od..” The wolf nearly whined, suddenly looking equally horrified thinking of having to be anywhere around people right now in his current condition. As if on cue, Remi’s chapped, dampened nose twitched to life, the tickle quickly becoming too intense to ignore and he could only duck his head down towards the bed weakly. “Hh'IISHH! —hd’ISCHhh!! —h’dtTISHh!!”

A mist of contagious droplets coated the bedspread in front of him, the wolf was left sniffling thickly while scrubbing at his septum with an index finger knuckle. “Nngh. How the hell are we godda do that? Just drive there and park our giadt blue bus in the parkigg lot?” Remi slowly began to rise to a full sitting position, and once he sat on the edge of the bed, his long fingers snatched a few tissues from the box on the nightstand. With a thick gurgle, the wolf drenched the ball of tissues in his hands in one blow, grimacing before tossing it in the trash can and clearing his throat.

“There’s one not super far from here, but I can’t read the directions at the same time as watching the mountain roads..” The leopard thought out loud, taking a second to ponder, before his face lit up mischievously. “I know! Since you left the fridge open all night, your punishment is giving me directions~” Levi giggled with a cheeky grin, sticking the tip of his tongue out towards the very unenthusiastic wolf.

“Levi.. you kdow I dod’t feel good..” The canine whimpered with a defeated exhale, the other’s stern parental -like expression softening slightly when his icy blue orbs met with Remi’s dim green ones.

“I’ll make you a deal.. If you can help me with the directions there, I’ll go in and do all of the shopping and you can go back to bed, okay?” The leopard offered with a gentle smile, to which Remi shrugged his shoulders with a quick eye roll.

“Fide.. But I’m goidg to be extra addoyidg..” The wolf chuckled softly, but his laugh was quickly cut short by a deep, painful coughing fit that echoed through the small living space. Once able to catch his breath, he pulled his hood over his head and came to his feet. Remi managed yet another sigh, and Levi rolled his eyes playfully at how dramatic his mate could be for such an otherwise extremely intimidating guy. The two made their way up to the front where Remi lazily plopped himself down in the passenger seat, and Levi shimmied his way into the drivers seat, keys in hand.

“Here, I pulled it up on my phone already, just tell me as the turns come up?” Levi smiled graciously again towards his mate, passing him his phone with the screen already open on the route. Remi took it, leaning back a little in his seat to try and make himself more comfortable for the 20 minute drive, sniffling sharply against one of his wrists. “Nnngh, my dose is so stuffed up..” He complained hoarsely, to which Levi passed him a quick, empathetic expression.

“I’m sorry love, I’ll get you some more NyQuil at the store if you take it how it’s supposed to be taken..” The cat chuckled breathily, slipping the keys into the ignition and turning them. The bus engine roared to life, and Levi rubbed the steering wheel gently with a smile. “Good job May, let’s get going!” He cheered happily, quickly clicking his seatbelt on. With an almost inaudible grumble from the wolf, they were off.

Only a few moments after leaving the gravel road of the rest stop they had been staying at, the bus finally made it to the main road, coming to a full stop at the stop sign.

Levi took the opportunity to turn to his mate to make sure he was still paying attention to navigating as the other had a habit of getting distracted, but was met with the wolf’s fluttering eyelids, and quickly flaring reddened nostrils that gleamed with moisture. Before words could come out of the cat’s mouth, Remi pitched to the side, one arm weakly lifting towards his face in a half assed attempt to cover his sneezes, although he failed miserably.

“hh'IETSH’UE! HI’DTSCHIEW!” The wolf sneezed harshly into the open space of the cab, spraying not only himself and the air around him, but even Levi was a casualty, placed perfectly in Remi’s ‘Splash Zone’. Without a word, the cat swiped away a few particularly large droplets that had landed on his arm, although he was used to it after being with the large, immune deficient man for so long.

Remi snorted thickly, before scrubbing at his nose in quick, circular motions, a soft clicking sound echoing loudly above the low hum of the vehicles engine as he did. “Nnngh, by bad..” he grumbled again, finally able to focus his eyes on Levi’s phone.

Seeing Remi relax once again took some of the edge off for the leopard, exhaling silently and looking back towards the road with a smile. Pushing forward, they traveled onward for a bit, before the wolf cleared his throat suddenly.

“Turdn left odn Naglee Road up here.” He instructed, looking up at Levi to see that he had heard him. The smaller man nodded with a grin, thankful Remi wasn’t too preoccupied to get them lost, and did as he was told. The bus cruised around the corner smoothly, and the map on the phone in his large hand updated accordingly.

The wolf attempted to snort back some of the congestion that was beginning to make his face throb, although at this point, it was pretty much useless. He whined softly, pinching just under his bridge piercing as another tickle began to bloom deep within his sinuses. Every sneeze felt like it would make his head pop with the pressure, and he REALLY wanted to go lay back down..

Suddenly, Remi’s mouth began to curl up into its own mischievous smirk. To be fair, he told Levi he would be extra annoying if he had to be up here.. Why not make it fun?

Sniffling softly a few times to tease the building tickle from his nose, the wolf wouldn’t have had time to cover even if he wanted to with how fast it completely took over.

“—HEH’TXSSHhh’ih! Hd’IZTSSHHhhh’ih!” The two forceful sneezes tore from the large man’s throat, a large cloud of contagious mist filling the space between them again, and coating the other’s freckled arm. When Levi’s eyebrows furrowed to try and concentrate more on the road, Remi’s smirk got a little bigger. Even someone as sweet and patient as Levi was had to have their breaking point, right? Anyone else would have already been done with Remi’s childish behavior.

Snuffling wetly, he leaned back in his seat again, this time with his sock clad feet up on the dashboard, to which Levi gave him a quick side eye. The wolf grunted, slipping them off again and thumping back on the bus floor.

“What’s the next turn?” Levi asked over his shoulder, clearly unamused by his mates shenanigans.

“Turn right on Belbourde Street in a half mile.”

“On.. what street?” Levi questioned, his eyes flickering to his mate’s face for a second before returning to the road in front of them.

“…..Belbourde.. Bel—“ The congestion behind Remi’s eyes continued to increase, leaving all of his words rounder than intended, and he sighed in frustration. “BMELBORNDE” he barked finally, crossing his arms in front of his chest with a self conscious huff, and Levi couldn’t help but laugh gently.

“Okay baby, we should be almost there. I think there’s one more turn off after the Melbourne exit.” The white haired man smiled, quick to reassure his mate, despite how much of a brat he’d been. But then again, that was just who Levi was.

The wolf huffed again from his seat, coming to the quick conclusion that the extra 10 minutes he would get if he was told to go lay down now weren’t as worth while as he thought, and the canine gave up the grocery sabotage entirely.

Again Levi turned the bus around the next corner with ease, driving the huge vehicle expertly around the tight, windy roads down the mountain a little ways, seemingly in his element as he remained completely focused on the task at hand. After a second, the cat waved one thin hand out towards Remi to get his attention again. “Hey, the last turn off shouldn’t be too far off from this one.. what’s the name again?”

The wolf blinked towards Levi for a moment, his brain fighting for its life against his raging fever that flushed his cheeks and forehead, but he slowly began to register the question he was asked. His dim emerald eyes shifted down to the leopard’s phone screen that sat face up on his lap, squinting to try and read the words through his double vision. When he still couldn’t make out the number or the name of the exit, Remi began to get frustrated again, swiping the phone from his lap and bringing it up close to his face.

“Oh, found it..” he mumbled, Levi passing him slightly anxious glances as more and more exits began to fly by their window.

“Okay, it’s.. Hehh..” The canine’s breath snagged sharply, the intense buzz within his nose returning full force.

God, his nose tickled SO damn badly…

As his thick eyelashes began to flutter ever so slightly, he quickly clamped one large hand over his nostrils to squeeze them shut with a loud squelch , although his breath still hitched helplessly while his jaw hung very slightly slacked.

“Hiihhh.. it’s.. f-fuck.. hhheh—hold on..” Remi’s eyes began to water from the effort it took to fight off such an intense tickle that was burning white hot within his quivering nostrils, although still trying his best to do what Levi had asked of him.

Levi’s gaze flashed back and forth between Remi, and the road, even attempting a quick snatch of his phone from Remi’s otherwise occupied hands, but he was unsuccessful. “Rem!” The cat grumbled loudly.

“Th—huhhh.. The n-nehhhh..” the wolf gasped, raising one finger to point out of his window at a passing sign, and Levi thankfully was able to catch a glimpse of it before it flew by their vehicle.

“I turn off on Pacific Road!?” The leopard raised his voice a little in a panic as the exit sign got closer and closer.

The wolf couldn’t do anything other than nod exuberantly, afraid of the repercussions that would come from removing the hand he had pinching his nostrils closed, but as Levi whipped Maybelle around the corner to be able to make the exit, Remi’s hand slipped from its position in order to brace himself on the door of the bus.

As soon as the fresh air flooded into his reddened, sensitive nose, he gasped an enormous breath of air into his lungs, trying to mentally prepare himself for the hammer to the temples.

“hih’AESSSHH’ue!! HA’AETTCCCHH’uh! Hihhh— hiiih’AETTCHH’uh!! Hhah’AETTTSHH’uh!” Remi sneezed so loudly that the bus windows shook, his poor nose desperate for a release, one way or another and eardrums be damned.

The smaller man let out a startled squeal as the whole right side of his body was sprayed by the canine’s mess, flashing a look over at the disheveled wolf riding passenger who was still frozen in place. Both hands were in front of his face, and his long body was doubled up on itself, hugging his own knees with his feet planted on the floor. Remi dared not move, dared not even breathe lest his nose might have something else to say about it. He stayed frozen for so long, that when the leopard finally pulled into the parking lot at the local grocery store a minute later and carefully brought the bus to a stop in one of the parking spots, the wolf still hadn’t even picked his head up.

“Rem? You okay? Those were some pretty big ones..” the leopard’s eyes were filled with concern for his mate as he stretched out one thin freckled hand to rub his mate’s shoulder gently.

Remi opened his mouth to reply, but the scratchiness of his voice overwhelmed his already sore throat, plunging the weakened man into yet another thick, chesty coughing fit that made him tremble slightly from the force. ‘Nnnngh…” the wolf whimpered after a few seconds, followed by a loud snort that still did almost nothing for the congestion packed into his raw sinuses. “Okay.. I gave you directiodns, and dow we’re here… I’b goigg back to bed dow..” he nearly whispered, his head completely reeling and every inch of his body pouring sweat.

The leopard’s face was taken over by an empathetic, caring expression as he eyed his sickly mate, nodding his head in agreement. “Of course baby, thank you so much for your help. Go ahead and go get comfy in bed, and I’ll rent us a couple Redbox movies, and get us some lunch, okay? If you want, I can even rub some of that vaporub on your chest if you think it helped last time?” Levi leaned down to kiss Remi’s very damp forehead, and the wolf sighed happily this time, his gaze slowly raising to meet the icy blue pools of his mate’s.

“I definitely won’t argue with you.. that all sounds so nice..” the large man’s voice was breathy and exhausted, followed by a few loose coughs that didn’t make it out with the others, and a forceful, deep snuffle as he ever so slowly rose to a standing position. As the canine trudged weakly back to bed, he turned just in time to catch Levi as he was pocketing his wallet right before heading out the door.

“Don’t take too long, okay?” Remi called out hoarsely in an uncharacteristically needy tone that made the leopard’s heart almost explode out of his chest with pure love and admiration for the big wolf.

With a thoughtful smile, Levi nodded as he quietly pulled open the door of the bus, the crisp early afternoon air caressing his face as he stepped out. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Acushla…”

The End…

Thank you so much for reading if you made it this far, it really means a lot to me! 🥺🖤

Hope you enjoyed my snz-y, needy boy as much as I enjoyed writing him 🥺

[skylarsblue]

Aight. I don’t have full oneshots for C.o.D, cause I don’t trust my writing ability yet. HOWEVER, I have two concepts for oneshots that I need to put somewhere. So uh…I guess, they can count as practice wips? Anyway.

✦Two C.o.D Wip Concepts ✦

✦Concept 1; Just…comfort fluff? Cause Ghost is a big sad man under that mask, he’s gotta be with all those daddy issues. Fem!Reader because I wrote it for myself on a Fem! Day. Tried to edit it to be GN! Instead but if I missed something, that’s why.

✦Concept 2; Also kinda comfort fluffy. Warning for some vague noncon scenarios that come with the job(nothing detailed and not intended to be seen as full noncon.) Basically a fem fatal!reader that often plays the bait for certain missions.

✧Ghost Scene Wip✧

“You’ve handled trauma so much better than I have…you’re not bitter. How?…why trust anyone?”

“Because being angry all the time sounds exhausting. Even if I want to be. I think you consider yourself broken beyond repair, but I don’t see you that way.”

.

.

.

“You can trust me…I know that’s not easy, but I promise. Shhh, don’t close up on me. You’re safe here, we’re alone. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.” The mask slips off gentle and he’s left bare, exposed and vulnerable for the first time in a long time. He looks away, to preserve his dignity, out of embarrassment, shy. “There you are…” Their hand cups his face with a gentleness he’s practically never felt before. Sweet and warm, gently guiding him to look at them again. They’re standing so for once he has to look up, not the other way around. They smile, full of kindness and affection. “So, I’ve met Ghost, I’ve met my Lieutenant. Who are you now?”

He swallows past a lump in his throat, tense but relaxed all at once. He wants to fight it. Hide again, shield himself. But he answers them in a deep and whispered voice. “Simon.” They let out a short, amused huff. “Nice to meet you Simon. Fitting name…and might I say you have a gorgeous face.” They coo, making him bashful in a way he despises. He scoffs and tries to look away again, but they insist on the eye contact. “I mean it, ya know. Always thought you were pretty under there and hey, I was right.” He feels their thumb gentle caress a scar on his jaw.

He’s exposed, vulnerable. He hates it, loathes it, it feels nauseating to be so displayed open for them.

He hopes it never ends.

✧Captain Price Concept ✧

“It’s just that…I dunno. It’s so uncomfortable every time. It’s my job, and I really don’t mind in the long term, because it’s my job. But it never gets easier to be forced to put up with being touched and sleazed over by those men. Even if I’m technically letting it happen, it’s because I have to. It really shoots at your self assurance when you don’t have a choice. But, it’s not like you can just walk up to someone you do trust and say “hey, I’ve made this choice, you can touch me”. That’s fuckin’ weird!”

“….hm.”

“Ah-…” she sighs. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to throw all that up on you, Cap.”

“No no, please, by all means. You got a tough job none of us have to deal with. And it sounds…honestly, a lot worse than I originally thought.”

“Yeah well…eh. I can handle it. It’s just…upsetting that I can’t have the say, sometimes.”

John hums and flicks some ash from his cigar, exhaling the smoke into the wind. “You trust me?” He asks. She looks over in slight confusion before her face softens, and she speaks with sincerity. “With my life.” A more intense response than he had expected, and he had to hide the split second of surprise from showing on his face. He lets out a small hum as she looks away. He takes another drag of his cigar and exhaled slowly. In her peripheral, she sees his hand held out, waiting. She then looks at his face. “Only if you want.” Is all he says. She blinks, processing, before she looks back at his hand. A gentle and slightly emotional smile breaks across her face, a breathy laugh leaving her throat.

Her hand rests in his palm and she gives his hand a squeeze. “Good choice?” He asks as he allows her to take his calloused hand. Running her nails over small scars and the lines of his palm, he holds back the urge to shiver. The woman lets out a noise of content. “Yeah…yeah I like this choice.” She admits quietly, nodding. Silence passes between them again, it’s comfortable. He only glanced over when he feels the weight of her head on his shoulder, her hands still fiddling with his own. She sighs peacefully. “Thank you, Captain.” She mumbles, voice thick with adoration and honey. It makes him feel warm, something he hasn’t felt without the aid of bourbon in awhile.

“Don’t mention it, soldier.”

Am I ever gonna finish these? Probably not. But maybe someone else will get inspired enough to write something with these concepts and I won’t have to do the work(/lh /j). Anyway, welcome to the product of brainrot.

[coolbeans32]

Echoes of Destiny: The Serpent and the Phoenix

PAIRING: Tom Riddle x F!Reader (OC)

SYNOPSIS: The memories of Genevieve and Tom back at Hogwarts. The summer before Sixth Year.

WARNINGS: Some warnings that this chapter has are themes of parental conflict and manipulation, emotional distress and loneliness, intense emotional connection (alluding to intercourse), magical transformation, and mild violence in the form of dueling practice.

WORD COUNT: 3.9k

Previous Part| Next Part

Chapter Twenty-One

A Journey to The Past: The Summer before Sixth Year

Dear Tom,

I hope this letter finds you well. The days here at home have been long and solitary, with only my rune studies to keep me occupied. I’ve spent countless hours immersed in ancient texts, and I’ve made some fascinating discoveries. Did you know that some runes, when combined in specific sequences, can create powerful protective barriers? I’ve been experimenting with a few combinations, and I’m eager to show you what I’ve learned when we return to Hogwarts.

Despite the excitement of my studies, the loneliness here is almost unbearable. I miss you terribly. The house feels empty, and I find myself wishing for our late-night conversations and shared moments by the Black Lake. I hope you’re doing well at the orphanage. How have you been spending your summer? Have you found any interesting projects to occupy your time?

There’s something I need to confess, Tom, something I can no longer keep to myself. I trust you more than anyone, and I need you to know the truth about my parents. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been caught in the middle of their conflicting ambitions. My father, Albus, and my other father, Gellert, have both used me to further their own causes. I’ve been a double spy, gathering information for both of them, trying to keep them from destroying each other while staying true to my own values.

It’s exhausting, Tom. I’m tired of being a pawn in their game. I’ve tried to help them both, but I can’t keep living like this. The weight of their expectations and the constant fear of betrayal is wearing me down. I need to break free, to find my own path. I don’t know how to do it yet, but I wanted you to know the truth. You deserve to know everything about me, even the parts I’m ashamed of.

I can’t wait to see you again. Being with you is the only time I feel truly understood and accepted. Please write back soon and tell me how you are. Your words mean more to me than you can imagine.

Yours always,

Genevieve

Dear Genevieve,

I was glad to receive your letter and to hear from you. It’s reassuring to know that your rune studies are progressing well. I must admit, I’m eager to see the new combinations and sequences you’ve discovered. Perhaps we can experiment together when we return to Hogwarts.

Life at the orphanage is as dreary as ever. The days drag on, each one blending into the next with little to distinguish them. I’ve been passing the time with my own studies and a few projects I’ve been working on in secret. Your letters are a welcome respite from the monotony, a reminder that there is a world beyond these walls.

Your confession took me by surprise, though I understand why you felt the need to share it. The burden you’ve been carrying is immense, and I can only imagine how difficult it has been for you to navigate the conflicting demands of your fathers. Know that you have my full support, no matter what. We will find a way for you to break free from this exhausting cycle.

It’s clear to me that your fathers have underestimated you, as have many others. Your strength, intelligence, and resilience are unmatched. If anyone can navigate this treacherous path, it’s you. But you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here for you, always.

As for your feelings of being a pawn in their game, I understand your frustration. We all have our roles to play, but it’s essential to define those roles ourselves rather than let others dictate them. Together, we will find a way to ensure that your future is shaped by your own desires and ambitions, not those of others.

I miss you as well, more than words can express. The thought of seeing you again is one of the few things that keeps me going through these dreary days. Until then, hold on to the knowledge that you are not alone. We will face the challenges ahead together, just as we always have.

Yours,

Tom

Genevieve stood outside the iron gates of Wool's Orphanage, her heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. She had decided to surprise Tom with a visit, hoping to brighten the dreary days of summer for both of them. Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the gate and made her way to the front door.  When Mrs. Cole answered, Genevieve put on her most charming smile. "Hello, I'm looking for Tom Riddle," she said politely.

Mrs. Cole raised an eyebrow but nodded. "Wait here," she said, and disappeared into the depths of the orphanage.

Moments later, Tom appeared in the doorway, his expression one of surprise and curiosity. "Genevieve?" he asked, his voice tinged with disbelief.

Genevieve smiled widely. "Surprise! I thought I'd come and take you away from here for a bit. Get your things." Tom didn’t hesitate. He grabbed his belongings, stuffing them into a bag with quick, efficient movements. A few minutes later, they were walking out of the orphanage together, the sunlight casting long shadows as they headed towards the bustling streets of London.

Genevieve led Tom to a secluded alley where they could apparate unnoticed. With a firm grip on his arm, she whispered the spell, and in a blink, they found themselves standing in front of a charming, old-fashioned house surrounded by lush gardens.

"This is my home," Genevieve said, watching Tom's reaction carefully. "No one but us and my house-elf, are here for the summer." Tom's eyes widened as he took in the grandeur of the house and the peacefulness of the surroundings. "It's beautiful," he admitted, his usual composure softened by genuine appreciation.

Genevieve smiled, pleased by his reaction. "Come on, there's something I want to show you."

She led him through the house and out into the expansive garden. The air was fragrant with the scent of blooming flowers, and a gentle breeze rustled the leaves of the trees. They stopped in a clearing surrounded by vibrant plants and a small pond that reflected the sky like a mirror.

"Stay here," Genevieve said, stepping a few paces away. She took a deep breath, focusing on the power within her. As Tom watched with a mixture of curiosity and concern, Genevieve's form began to shift. Her body elongated, her skin turning into glittering scales of blue and silver. Within moments, she had transformed into a majestic dragon, her wings spreading wide and her eyes gleaming with an otherworldly light.

Tom's mouth fell open, astonishment replacing his usual guarded expression. The dragon before him was both awe-inspiring and beautiful, and for a moment, he could do nothing but stare. Genevieve let out a soft, rumbling growl before shifting back into her human form. She stood before Tom, breathing heavily, her eyes searching for a reaction.

"I discovered this ability after an argument with my father," she explained. "I was so angry, and suddenly I transformed. I realized that I inherited these powers when I was made. I'm part dragon, Tom."

Tom took a step closer, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully. "Part dragon," he repeated, the wheels of his mind turning. "That's... incredible, Genevieve." 

"There's more," she continued. "I found out that I can speak to snakes. I'm a Parselmouth, like you." Tom's eyes widened further, the surprise giving way to a calculating look. "A Parselmouth?" he echoed. "How did you discover that?"

Genevieve smiled wryly. "I stumbled upon a snake in the garden after changing form, and without thinking, I started talking to it. The words just came naturally. Think it has to do with being part dragon, the mother of snakes and all."

Tom nodded slowly, absorbing this new information. "This is remarkable," he said softly, his voice tinged with admiration. "You possess extraordinary powers, Genevieve." Genevieve reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently. "And now you know. There's no more secrets between us, Tom." He looked into her eyes, a rare smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Thank you for trusting me with this," he said. "It means more than you know."

Tom and Genevieve wandered through the grand halls of her mansion, the echoes of their footsteps creating a soft symphony in the spacious corridors. The house was a testament to centuries of magical heritage, filled with artifacts and secrets waiting to be discovered. Genevieve led Tom to one of her favorite places in the mansion: the expansive library.

The library was a marvel, with towering shelves that reached the ceiling, filled with ancient tomes and scrolls. Sunlight filtered through the stained glass windows, casting a kaleidoscope of colors across the room. Genevieve's eyes sparkled with excitement as she pulled Tom towards a section dedicated to ancient magic.

"Look at this," she said, her voice filled with enthusiasm as she grabbed a thick, leather-bound book titled Runic Mysteries and Enchantments. She opened it to a page she had bookmarked, revealing intricate diagrams and symbols. "These are rune spells, some of the most powerful and ancient forms of magic."

Tom's eyes widened with interest as he examined the pages. "I've read about runes, but I've never had the chance to study them in depth. They seem fascinating."

Genevieve nodded eagerly. "They are. Let me show you how to perform one." She traced her finger along the symbols, explaining their meanings and the incantations required to activate them. "This one, for example, is a protection spell. It creates a barrier that can deflect almost any attack." She handed Tom a piece of parchment and a quill. "Try drawing this rune. The key is precision and intent." Tom took the quill and carefully replicated the rune, his concentration evident in the furrow of his brow. Genevieve watched him with a mixture of admiration and curiosity. When he finished, she nodded approvingly.

"Now, speak the incantation," she instructed.

Tom recited the ancient words, and the rune on the parchment began to glow with a soft, blue light. A shimmering barrier appeared around them, flickering with magical energy.

Tom's eyes widened in amazement. "It worked," he said, a hint of pride in his voice.

Genevieve grinned. "Of course it did. You're a natural."

Tom looked at her, a question forming in his mind. "Won't we get caught by the Ministry for doing magic outside of school?"

Genevieve smirked, her eyes gleaming with mischief. "Not here. This house is protected by ancient wards that prevent the Ministry from detecting underage magic. We can practice as much as we want without worrying about getting caught."

Tom's face lit up with excitement. "That's incredible. We can experiment with all sorts of spells."

Genevieve nodded, her excitement matching his. "Exactly. Let's try some more." They spent the day immersed in the world of runes and spells, experimenting with different enchantments and protections. Laughter filled the library as they discovered the limits of their abilities, each spell bringing them closer together. 

Genevieve taught Tom how to summon light with a simple rune, which cast a warm glow over the room. They worked on more complex enchantments, like creating a pocket of air underwater or setting invisible traps that triggered harmless illusions. As the hours passed, the library became a haven of magical exploration and shared knowledge. They took breaks, lounging on the comfortable chairs scattered around the room, discussing their future plans and dreams.

"I wish summer could last forever," Genevieve said wistfully, looking out the window at the setting sun.

Tom nodded, his eyes reflecting the golden light. "It's been... different. I never thought I could enjoy myself like this."

Genevieve smiled softly. "There's so much more to magic than power and control, Tom. There's wonder and discovery too. I'm glad we can share this."

Tom looked at her, a rare smile playing on his lips. "Me too, Genevieve. Me too." As the day turned into night, they continued their magical experiments, the bond between them growing stronger with each spell they cast. In that library, surrounded by the wisdom of the ages, they found a sanctuary where their magic and their friendship could flourish without fear or constraint.

As the evening sky deepened into a tapestry of stars, Tom glanced out the window and then at the clock on the mantel. "I should head back to the orphanage. It's getting late." Genevieve looked at him, concern etched in her features. "You don't have to go back, Tom. It's not safe to travel at this hour. Why don't you stay the night? It would be better."

Tom hesitated, weighing the options. The idea of staying somewhere warm and welcoming was tempting, but he was unaccustomed to such hospitality. Finally, he nodded. "Alright. I'll stay." Genevieve smiled and led him up the grand staircase to her room. It was a spacious chamber, adorned with soft colors and filled with books and magical artifacts. A large, comfortable bed dominated one side, while a plush couch sat near the window.

"You can sleep wherever you’d like," Genevieve offered. "I want you to be comfortable."

Tom nodded and set his things down, lying on the couch. He stared at the ceiling, the unfamiliar comfort making it difficult to relax. Across the room, Genevieve climbed into her bed, pulling the covers around her. They both lay in silence for a while, the night pressing in around them.

After a while, Genevieve whispered into the darkness, "Tom, are you awake?"

"Yes," Tom replied softly. "I can never really sleep."

Genevieve turned to face him, her eyes glinting in the dim light. "Why don't you come here? It might be more comfortable." Tom hesitated, but the genuine concern in her voice made him consider the offer. He reluctantly got up from the couch and moved to the bed, lying down beside her. Genevieve shifted closer, cuddling into him. The warmth of her body was a stark contrast to the cold loneliness he was used to.

"I'm not used to this," Tom admitted quietly, his voice tinged with vulnerability. "Being close to someone."

Genevieve wrapped an arm around him, her touch gentle and reassuring. "It's okay, Tom. You don't have to be alone." Tom lay still, the unfamiliar sensation of comfort and closeness washing over him. He could feel Genevieve's steady breathing, her warmth seeping into him. Gradually, the tension in his body eased, and for the first time in as long as he could remember, he felt a sense of peace. Genevieve's presence, her warmth, lulled him into a state of relaxation he had never known. 

She leaned into his touch, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment. When she opened them, she found herself lost in the depths of his gaze, a silent understanding passing between them. Without another word, Tom closed the distance between them, his lips capturing hers in a kiss that was both fierce and tender. Genevieve responded immediately, her arms wrapping around his neck as she melted into him. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them, entwined in a moment of raw, unbridled emotion. The kiss deepened, their breaths mingling as they explored the newfound intimacy between them. Tom’s hands slid to her waist, pulling her closer, and Genevieve’s fingers tangled in his hair, holding him to her as if afraid to let go. They broke apart briefly, their foreheads resting against each other as they caught their breath. The room felt charged, filled with the intensity of their shared connection. "Tom," Genevieve began, her voice a soft murmur. "Shh," he whispered, placing a finger gently against her lips. "We don’t have to say anything right now. Just… be here with me." Genevieve nodded, her heart pounding as she gazed into his eyes. The moment was perfect, suspended in time, a promise of what could be. They leaned in for another kiss, the passion between them undeniable, as the night continued to unfold, filled with possibilities.

As the first light of dawn crept into the room, Genevieve woke to find Tom still sleeping peacefully beside her. She watched him for a moment, marveling at how calm he looked. She knew that beneath his tough exterior, there was a boy who longed for connection, for someone to understand him. In that moment, Genevieve vowed to be that person for him, to stand by him and help him find the peace he so desperately needed. And as she lay back down, closing her eyes once more.

The scent of freshly baked bread and brewed tea filled the space, creating a cozy atmosphere. Genevieve poured tea for both of them, her eyes catching Tom's as he took a sip.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked, a hint of a smile playing on her lips.

Tom nodded, almost shyly. "Better than I have in a long time. Thank you.”

Genevieve's smile widened. "I'm glad to hear that. I was thinking, before you head back to Wool's, we could spend the day in Diagon Alley. There's so much to see and do."

Tom considered the idea, a spark of curiosity igniting in his eyes. "That sounds...nice. I've only been there a few times."

"Then it's settled," Genevieve said, her excitement infectious. "We'll explore the shops, maybe pick up a few things for school." After breakfast, they gathered their belongings and set off for Diagon Alley. The bustling street was alive with the chatter of witches and wizards, the clinking of coins, and the bright displays of magical goods in the shop windows.

Their first stop was Flourish and Blotts, the bookstore. Genevieve led Tom to a section on ancient runes, her eyes sparkling as she pulled a book from the shelf. "This one has some fascinating spells. I thought you might like it."

Tom took the book, flipping through the pages. "It's incredible. Thank you, Genevieve."

They spent the next few hours wandering through the various shops. In the apothecary, Genevieve picked up rare ingredients for her potions, explaining their uses to Tom with enthusiasm. At Quality Quidditch Supplies, they admired the latest brooms and discussed the upcoming school matches.

As they walked, their conversation flowed effortlessly. They talked about their classes, their hopes for the future, and their shared love for magic. Tom found himself opening up more than he ever had before, drawn to Genevieve's warmth and understanding.

At lunchtime, they stopped at a small café, choosing a table by the window. As they ate, Genevieve looked at Tom thoughtfully. "I've been meaning to ask, Tom. What are your plans for the future?"

Tom hesitated, then spoke with a rare openness. "I want to find out more about my family, my lineage. There's so much I don't know. And...I want to make a difference, to change things."

Genevieve nodded, her eyes filled with empathy. "I understand. And I believe you will. You're incredibly talented, Tom. Just remember that you don't have to do it alone."

Tom smiled, a genuine, heartfelt smile. "Thank you, Genevieve. That means more than you know." As the afternoon wore on, they continued their exploration, ending up at Ollivanders, where they marveled at the wands and the stories behind them. Finally, as the sun began to set, they made their way back to the Leaky Cauldron.

Standing outside the pub, Tom looked at Genevieve, a mixture of gratitude and reluctance in his eyes. "I suppose I should head back now."

Genevieve nodded, her expression soft. "I wish you didn't have to go, but I understand. Just remember, you always have a place to stay if you want to get out of the orphanage."

Tom leaned in, surprising both of them with a quick hug. "Thank you, Genevieve. For everything." She smiled, watching as he walked away, her heart full of hope for the boy who had become so important to her. 

Genevieve stood in her private potions lab, the air thick with the scent of herbs and simmering concoctions. The lab was a sanctuary of sorts, a place where she could lose herself in the precise art of potion-making. She measured out powdered bicorn horn, carefully adding it to a cauldron bubbling with a thick, emerald liquid. A puff of smoke rose as the ingredients combined, releasing a sweet, earthy aroma.

Potions had always been a passion of hers, a delicate balance of science and magic. She found solace in the methodical process, each step requiring focus and precision. As she stirred the potion clockwise, she let her mind wander to the events of the past few weeks—Tom's visit, their shared secrets, and the burgeoning feelings that had developed between them. But she quickly pushed those thoughts aside. She had work to do.

Once the potion was left to simmer, she moved to another corner of her room, which was set up for dueling practice. With a flick of her wand, practice dummies sprang to life, and she began casting spells at them with precision and power. "Expelliarmus!" she shouted, and the dummy's wand flew from its grasp. "Protego!" she cast, deflecting imaginary curses with a shimmering shield. The dummies fired back weak hexes, which she easily countered, her movements fluid and confident.

But it wasn't just her combat skills she was honing. Genevieve had recently discovered her natural ability as a Legilimens, a skill she knew she had to refine and protect. She sat cross-legged on the floor, her eyes closed, breathing deeply as she delved into the practice of Occlumency. The art of protecting one's mind from intrusion was crucial, especially given her precarious position between Albus and Gellert. She visualized mental barriers, solid and impenetrable, fortifying her thoughts against any unwelcome invasion.

As the day turned to evening, Genevieve rose from her meditative state and walked to her desk. She pulled out a roll of parchment, dipping her quill in ink. Her heart pounded as she began writing a letter to the Ministry of Magic, a document that would claim her emancipation from her parents. She chose her words carefully, detailing her reasons and her readiness to take control of her own life. The weight of her decision pressed heavily on her, but she knew it was necessary. Her double life was becoming increasingly dangerous, and she needed to assert her independence.

Once the letter was sealed with her personal wax seal, she attached it to the leg of her snowy owl, Athena. "Take this to the Ministry," she whispered, stroking the bird's soft feathers. Athena hooted softly and took off into the twilight, her white form disappearing into the distance. Genevieve watched until Athena was out of sight, then returned to her potions lab to check on her brew. The potion had turned a perfect shade of emerald, a sign that it was ready. She bottled it carefully, labeling it with a practiced hand.

As she cleaned up her workspace, her thoughts drifted back to Tom. She wondered how he was faring at the orphanage, if he was thinking of her as much as she thought of him. A part of her longed to write to him, to share her day and her progress. But she knew that for now, her focus had to remain on honing her skills and securing her future. Genevieve extinguished the lights in her lab, feeling a mix of exhaustion and satisfaction. She had accomplished much today, but the path ahead was still fraught with challenges. With a deep breath, she headed to bed, determined to face whatever came next with strength and resolve. Tomorrow was a new day, and she would be ready for it.

Taglist: @wheenerrr @jillian2003 @secretkittydreamland

Tom Riddle Masterlist

© coolbeans32 2024

[azurewishing]

Nine point eight

A fic about Starhenge's fall, told in Galvana's point of view.

I tried using beige prose this time. Tell me how I did

***

Everything will end.

My life, my friends’ lives, everything.

It will end now.

And then it will start again.

---

The days leading up to now were filled with cheer, not sadness.

We all knew this will happen, that Starhenge will run out of power. We just didn’t know when.

Back then it caused us a lot of anxiety, but not anymore. We decided to put our fears behind us and live happily.

Today, we are having a grand feast. Decorations were strewn up, food was plentiful. Everyone was full of cheer.

I was looking up at the sky after I had my fill. It was evening, and the orange glow of the sun shined on me. I thought to myself that the party will continue on during the inevitable fall.

---

The past week, too, was filled with festivity.

Everyday, we had a party.

It was to make sure we were all happy. But not everyone was confident.

For example, Vhamp still had a few fears in its heart.

…Oh. That’s funny, whenever I think about it, it comes to my side. I forgot about that coincidence.

Vhamp looked up at the sky. It was now dark, with the stars starting to shine.

“What are you thinking of, Galvie?” it asked.

That’s strange. It hasn’t used that nickname in a long while.

“I was just thinking about the past few days, that’s all.”

“Hmm.”

We both stared at the sky for a few minutes, watching as the world became darker and darker.

I was the one to break the momentary silence between us. “How much longer until we fall?”

Vhamp gave it some thought. “About an hour, I’d wager.”

“So do you think I should give my speech now?”

“If you want to, you can.”

I got up and went to the center of Starhenge, near the observatory.

---

“Attention, everyone.”

I got everyone to sit down and listen. They looked at me with interest.

I began my speech. “In about an hour, Starhenge will fall. We will sacrifice our mortal forms to become stone, and eventually be revived with no memories of our past lives. Do any of you still have anything to do in this life?”

Everyone thought to themselves, and eventually said no.

“That’s good. I’m happy I got to be with you all. I’m happy that… that I got to be friends with you all, that all of you stuck by my side through thick and thin. I’m… I’m just so happy…”

I began to cry. Some, I couldn’t tell who, got up and tried to comfort me, but I shook my hand.

“…Don’t worry, guys. I’m fine. I was just overcome with joy.”

I took a minute for myself to regain composure. And I breathed in again.

“That’s all I have to say. Long life us Celestials.”

I smiled as the end approached us.

---

Nine point eight.

Nine point eight is my acceleration.

Nine point eight is the intensity of the stars.

Nine point eight is how long we fell.

I could see Starhenge, but barely. I could see Loodvigg, Blasoom, Scaratar…

I could tell we were about to crash any moment now.

I could feel my skin and dress turning into stone, from the feet upwards.

I smiled again.

I have no regrets.

I love you.

Goodbye.

[sighs-deeply-and-dreadfully]

HIHIHIHII U SEEM LIKE SUCH A FUN PERSON BUT ANYWYA COULD I REQUEST SOMETHIGN I am sososoos sorry if I don't make any sense or if I'm disturbing you but-

Could I request a Wally Darling x astronomer!Reader? Or just someone who has a veryveryvery big interest in astronomy? BCUZ I'M OBSESSED WITH ASTRONOMY BUT EHM ANYWAYY I'm talking like this- the reader very often goes outside late at night to stargaze, and observe the stars, and it's like really really therapeutic for them because ofc duhh stars r comforting (for me at least shsh) and they usually bring like- a telescope, and a journal about astronomy while they run off to stargaze in a more secluded place in the neighborhood,, OOH AND IMAGINE WALLY LIEK SEES THEM AT 3 IN THE MORNING LOOKING AT THE NIGHT SKY INTENSELY, AS IF THEY'RE A CHILD WATCHING THEIR FAVORITE SHOW BWHAUHAJAJA 😭😭

CAN BE PLATONIC OR ROMANTIC SINCE I DON'T RLLY MIND ≧﹏≦

I don't even know if an emoji thingy is required if I request as an anon but anogh call me hoshi or 🔭🔮 anon insteaf 😇😇 BYEBYE I HOPE U HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY THANKYO FOR DEALING WITH ME🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ wiat also gn reader pls tinkyu 😇 LABYU POH MWAMWA /PLATONIC

Awh!! You seem like a fun person, too!! I adore how you type HEHE /g !!! :] Very nice to meet you, Hoshi! And all affections returned >:] /p

(Also, no, you are not required to label yourself as an anon! I will.. likely specify that somewhere, now that I’m reminded, haha!! I do think the specific labelling is fun, though! :] )

I will also say, I’m not very knowledgeable in astrology myself— but I’ll certainly try!! Haha!!

Late Night Shenanigans…

Wally x GN!Astrologist!Reader !

Drabble format, relation can be interpreted by reader!

Cracking open the door to their home, nestled comfortably in the lively— though currently sleepy— and comforting neighbourhood, was Y/N. With their telescope looped under their arm, and their trusty astronomer’s journal held loosely in their other hand, they’d carefully use their foot to close their door. In most cases? Locking the door would be best! But in this neighbourhood? It wasn’t much of a concern! And who has time for locks when there are stars about?!!

With a giddy smile, they’d take off towards the surrounding woods of the neighbourhood— an almost nightly routine, at this point, as they beelined for a nearby hill. Why, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if they trampled their own little trail into the colourful grass, by now! They had discovered this hill not too long ago, it quite close to the neighbourhood— but still cut off loosely by the trees and unkept grass. The little spot felt like their own, and the clearing the hill gave from the trees made a delightful little spot to stargaze! It was no wonder why they were drawn to the spot night by night, even if they should be, possibly, sleeping..

Having drifted into their own thoughts as they walked, the bushes would soon give way to shortened, but still flowing grass. The darkened trees overhead would give way to the night sky above, the area ever so slightly dimly illuminated by the large crescent moon above. It almost felt dream-like! Clicking back into reality as the scenery shifted, they’d grin again before marching up the hill— it, thankfully, wasn’t a very steep one! And, with routine-practiced precision, they had their little corner of the world set up in just a few moments. Telescope propped up, astrology book flipped open to whatever page they needed, they’d happily indulge in the speckled sky above. Seeing as the neighbourhood didn’t really have any lights to cause light pollution, the sight of the sky was breathtaking. The sky many had looked up to, for many years! Quite poetic in it of itself, especially with a full scope on just how many stars there were!

Nearby, though, was another neighbour— an intrigued, curious one. Peering through the tree line, having followed the tossed grass, was no other than Wally Darling himself. For quite a few nights now, he had heard.. scuffling outside, which caused some confusion! Not many of the neighbours went out at night, save for maybe Frank hunting after specific nocturnal bugs, or Sally just.. being Sally. So, tonight, he deemed he’d investigate it! Perhaps it was a late night critter? He just had to know! This, however, just led to him following you.. here? What an odd raccoon (/j)…

You, however, were none the wiser to his curious stare, instead staring up at the sky with wide eyes. You look starstruck, quite literally! He watched as you excitedly flickered between peering through your telescope; flicking through the pages of your book as you clumsily held a flashlight in your mouth; and simply staring up at the large sky in all its glory.

With a muted hum to himself, Wally would simply watch for a moment— head still idly tilted to the side. He was contemplating joining you, but— after some thought decided he’d.. truly rather not do that in his night-time robes, haha! But, proposing to join you some other time, maybe with his art supplies in tow to soak in the delightful scene in his own way? Now, that sounded lovely. But, for the time being, he let you have your ‘corner’— soon turning away and beginning to walk back towards Home with a smile. A plotting one, though not devious!.. likely.. (/lhj).

He certainly just had to ask you about it, sometime!

HELLOOO I hope that was enjoyable to read!!

Honestly, with how I ended up setting this up, I might write a part 2 >:] entailing him actually joining the reader, haha!!

Thank you for requesting!! Have a lovely day :]