Barbara Gordon showcasing she's not the one.
Barbara holds out her hands and looks at the sky.
Barbara: Maybe if we wait just a little bit longer a fuck will fall in my hand and I can give it to you.
Dick: Barb, I just wanted to say that rolling over my foot because you're mad I ate your sandwich was uncalled for and really hurt my foot.
Barbara continues looking up in the sky.
Barbara: Still not a fuck to give you. Tsk, such a shame. Bruce, do you see any falling from the sky?
Bruce playing candy crush on his phone: Have not seen a one.
Barbara: Shoot, it's almost like you don't eat my pastrami sandwich. That I got specifically made at a specific deli that has the best pastrami that I specifically enjoy.
Barbara smiles taking a deep breath.
Dick: Well you don't leave them in the fridge here unlabeled. I assumed it was-
Bruce: You assumed it was mine, didn't you?
Dick: ...Okay to be fair you usually don't care.
Barbara: Dickard, come closer to me.
Dick: It's not Dickard but okay.
Dick crouches down to Barbara's eye level. She grabs him by his shirt collar.
Barbara: If you ever see a sandwich with pastrami, don't eat it. Ask if you think I'll ever say you can have it, but don't just automatically eat it. I get those sandwiches when I'm especially hangry and you remember how I was when I could walk and was hangry, right?
Dick, gulps.
Dick: Y-Yeah.
Barbara: Good. I will make your entire day difficult and trust me I have the knowledge on how to do that walking or wheelchair.
Dick, nervous: Got it... what's the name of the deli, I can buy you a new sandwich.
Barbara smiles and let's go of the man's collar.
Barbara: Mountain Valley Deli, I want the sandwich, kettle chips, orange soda and a cookie.
Dick, sighs: White macadamia?
Barbara: See you're being smart, that's correct. Hurry or your comms will be met with Bitch ass or Dickard for the entire night.
Dick: Bruce, can she do that?
Bruce: Yup, yup, yup.
Dick pouts.
Dick: I'll be back.
Dick leaves, holding his head down.
Bruce: Your intimidation skills are impressive.
Barbara: I learned it from you... Mostly.
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"Tom Cruise wants to fuck Glen Powell so bad"
– @sailor-aviator, 2024
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thinking about how last night my mom asked me what my favourite book is and it escelated to me explaining the whole stormlight lore and shallan's backstory to her for 2 hours, and in the end she's like, "you know when you were younger i thought you probably had autism."
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Itward: Fun Fact! The average person will walk by thirty-six murderers in their lifetime.
Mr. Midnight: I like how this is a "fun" fact.
Fran: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you.
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We're watching M*A*S*H with my mom and she said Trapper looks like an Airedale terrier
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Regarding your frog heist fic: I feel the need to tell you that, when I first started reading your excerpt where Jonathan talks to Ms. Kelley, my first thought was "oh, no, he got caught doing unhinged nature boy things and someone finally made him talk to a counselor about that specifically!" I love that passage as it is, but I also keep laughing at the idea of the frog heist being the last straw for some authority figure or another.
Miss Kelley upon seeing 60 frogs vanish overnight: Oh he needs professional HELP
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