#so the ps4 has been running all day all night every day for the past 8 months

[neechees]

My sister ruined the ps4 that me & my brother bought together not even last year. LITERALLY cannot have shit in this house when she's here

[sherrifdoggo]

The Map's Setting, A History

Long Talky One Again, this time it's gonna get autobiographical.

So, as i've eluded to in the past, the map (rp_chicago, see previous posts) is not say in our 1930s. It's set in my funny lore setting that i've been cultivating for the past few years that even though has had more abandonded projects tied to it than i can count still doesn't have a name that isn't a working title.

Ladies, Gentlemen and Etceras, It is my honor to present my baby to the world,

The Staten Island Universe

Yes the name sucks and makes you ask more questions than a title should, but there's a fun story behind the bizarre name i promise. Anyways here i go.

The beginings of the Staten Island universe started back in my highschool days, when i used to DM some D&D for a big friend group i had. One day, after playing too much Grand Theft Auto on my PS4 (This was in 2017? or so i think), i had a moment where the stars aligned.

What if i made a D&D campaign set in a modern crime story, without removing all the D&D elements.

And so it was, i never finished it, but we did play an unfinished version of it a couple times and it was very enjoyable. Specially the quest where you had to kill a bard with an electric guitar in the abandoned times square toys-r-us.

Unluckly, me sucking at math caused my grades to slump and now i had less time to make more D&D shit, and ended up throwing the whole project away in the dreaded vault of dead projects.

Now skipping ahead a couple years and it's my last semester of high school, in 2020. So i'm locked in my room pretending to be paying attention to whatever the teacher was saying (maybe related to my slumped grades from above) and making a new D&D campaign that my friends and i were gonna run over the internet this time. The plot of it was unimportant but what was important was my recent (at the time) acquisition of my current computer and a vr headset.

Before i got the VR headset, and around the time I upgraded from a ok-ish Acer Nitro 5 gaming laptop to this thing, i was making a really shit gmod map.

Stallen Island i called it,

and it was my headcannon version of what the missing part of New York City (Staten Island) would look like in GTA IV's map, of course with nowhere near the amount of skill and art-direction to pull it off in fucking Gmod, but i tried my best.

Eventually i got bored of making this map, and/or ran out of ideas for it so i receded into doing whatever it is i did for fun back then. Until my high school friends contacted me over the internet.

They wanted to play some more D&D over the internet, so i obliged. I made them a new campaign and had a silly little idea for it. What if all the maps for it were actually gmod maps instead of PNGs.

These are my only published maps, The D&D map collection.

Info about them individually on their pictures, but i did actually get to play it with them and they enjoyed it very much.

But...

Around the same time i had finally gotten my VR Headset. And i'd been playing a lot of Skyrim VR, which influenced the design of this D&D campaign. Specifically I inserted my Khajiit into it, Mr. Ralasajeeno as a Theif.

But all this is just autobiographical shit right what does this have to do with the big name you put in yellow up there?

Well one night i was writting more shit for the campaign when it hit like how the best ideas hit you, blasting directly into your brain at 3AM.

I remembered the other D&D campaign again, and i revived it as a really big design doc i still have on my computer for a open world crime sandbox game that plays like a mix of GTA and D&D / Skyrim, A.K.A. a game that would cost too much time and money for me to ever make.

Every day, i would wake up and add more and more lore, characters, ideas for situations, missions, locations, items and it would grow so god damn big that eventually i felt like i had to make something for it.

So i had an idea, how about i make a new version of that map i mentioned earlier.

It's name was Staten Island, and it fucking rocked

Staten Island was the biggest map i ever made, and i never really finished it.

Not because of a lack of ideas, because i had plenty of ideas for it, i just outgrew it. Though it forever holds a part in my heart as the map that really kickstarted the Staten Island Universe as it's own thing. Many of the things written down in the lore for it are direct from either me needing assets for the map or questions people would ask while playing on it.

Afterwards there were a couple more Modern Staten Island Universe maps. Pictures Here:

Finally, how does Chicago fit into all this?

Well after a really long time of making smaller maps that didn't go anywhere, making other types of addons and being a support dev for other people's addons, i finally had a good idea for a map again.

This map was the current map, Chicago.

I had the idea while playing lots of Mafia: Definitive Edition a couple months back and having a grand old time.

I always wanted to do something in the past of the Staten Island Universe, so the idea was to make this map and then make a couple more maps.

Each map would pick a different time period and location, moving slowly towards today. Chicago is step one of this plan and unlike all these other maps, i do intend on sticking with this one all the way to the finish line.

trust me bro, i swear

please trust me

[tomyo]

I know I suddenly posted a lot of backlog adventure stuff back to back haha but just a little lore building here. I felt some energy to actually try games after the rush of playing KH3. At the same time, games are hard alone bleh.

Next week though, I'm briefly staying with a friend who I might try to play through with on Sonic Riders and Nights. Last year when I visited him, I brought my Dreamcast down and we went through Jet Set Radio on it so this is the next playthrough together I guess hahaha.

I would of liked to play more Dreamcast games soon, however a lot of mine don't actually work at the moment. Shenmue and Sonic adventure need to be polished which is big oof anxiety and to a much less extent, Cooking Mama cook off. Might even trade that one in to be real. I think it'd probably be the most fun for us to one day attempt a Dream Cast Binge together. Shenmue will certainly be....a heavy meal of a game and other games like Time Stalkers and Space Channel 5 would just be fun with friends. I might even bring the 360 at some point so I can force him to do Free Riders with me too hahaha.

In general since basically buying every Harvest Moon game out there (as I write this I may or may not be getting grand bazaar and hero of leaf valley 💀) my attention jumped to my Sonic collection. Basically my biggest gap is with Wii era games surprisingly. When I was in elementary to early high school I was pretty big on the games and bought a lot of them for the sub $15 the GameCube ones cost at that time. There is a distinct pain over the fact the copy of Adventure XD I had I had to return for being to scratched given the prices now and for personal reasons, there's someone who I've wanted to be the one to give me their old copy of even though it won't ever happened hahaha. My biggest desires right now are to get my hands on Black Knight but I've also wanted a 360 copy of Unleashed, Generations, Zero Gravity, and Shadow the Hedgehog. Rush adventure and Shuffle also catch my eye but my wallet hurts enough as is. I really need to stop getting into game collecting.

Part of the reason to bring Sonic up is also because I'll probably be playing a replay of Sonic 06 with the friend who leant me his PS4. He apparently never played it but wants to and I love just... Backseat gaming rather than actually playing. Hahahah. Games can be magical but art takes up too much time in my life now. The switch has been helpful for my more on the go lifestyle these days but I often still run short on free time. Even now Ive been wasting work hours to do KH3 this past weekend.

I guess my final little ramble is back to my HM collection. God it's kinda scary how many games I had suddenly bought at once. I keep meaning to play but I know they're the kinda games I have to secretly dedicate a lot of time towards. If I do end up getting the two aforementioned with my recent impulse gets, I've pretty much achieved most major versions of the game. My biggest other missing ones probs come down to the Og Story of Seasons, A version of Back to Nature, and the FoMT remake. Another wonderful life is on there but I'm starting to question my need for that one when I hate all the bachelors which I'm required to marry. Overall though I've reached what feels like a pretty doable conclusion from all of those.

Playing them however.....is a separate case hahaha. I had briefly started a AWLSE run which I might try to pick up, I want to return to Animal Parade as well over the winter, and a Save the Homeland run should??? Be quick??? I just started a my little shop attempt which is a pretty pick up and put down game so I will likely do that daily with Animal Parade when I play that. Overall I think my biggest scare is the handheld games. They should be easier but they feel harder. I want to do A New beginning the most but the game mechanics are daunting. The DS cute Skye playthrough might end up being the better choice from those right now. Which leads me to question how long will I take to go through all those games since I haven't been playing them over the years like they were meant for.

I think if I do go through end of the year as I intend to, recovering from surgery, I will try to go through a bunch of them.

[your-denki-kun]

Gaming

Eijirou X Denki X Reader

A/N: This one-shot is a few months old. I have like 137 drafts of which only a few posted and a few unfinished, so I decided to post at least one tonight. So here it is. It's bad and I know it, but I really wanted to post. Also, I don’t play COD, so don’t come at me being all angry that i got stuff wrong. I write, read and play Minecraft, Sims and that kind of games. Also sorry for any spelling mistakes, English is not my first language.

What: Angst, sad, cursing, fluff

Word count:  4.6K+

~3rd person pov.~

After a long day at school you go to sit on your bed after starting your PS4. You get comfortable on your bed and put on your headset. You start up Call of Duty and wait for it to load. Once it's done you go into a random online match and turn on your mic so you can talk with your teammates.

''We're killing these fuckers.'' An aggressive, male voice says, a speaker appearing behind the name; King Explosion Murder.

''Calm down King, they're new to this.'' Another male voice says, the speaker appearing behind the name; Red Riot.

''Yeah King, Red is right.'' Yet another guy says, his name is Charge Bolt.

''Guys, calm down.'' Another male, Spidy Man, says.

''Yeah!'' A girl, Pinky, says.

''Shut it extra's!'' King barks.

''Calm down bro, the game is starting.'' Red says, the numbers on your screen counting down.

''Lets win this shit.'' King says, you can basically hear the smirk in his voice.

As the timer hits zero you run off, walking through the map and searching for a good snipper spot. Once you find one you take out some people, your teammates talking to one another, but you choose to ignore them. As no more people appear you go to look for another spot, taking out someone while looking for it.

''FUCK!!'' King yells as you see he died.

''My ears man.'' Charge Bolt whines.

''Shut it Pikachu!''

''Hey!''

''Guys, focus.'' Red sighs.

They keep talking, but you tune them out once again and keep taking out people. As you shoot someone else the winning screen appears. You smirk as you see you killed the most people. Everyone cheers except King who's just grumbling. You tune everyone back in in order to be able to follow the conversation.

''So manly, BB!'' Red cheers.

''Woo! Finaly someone who's better than King!'' Pinky cheers.

''Nice.'' Spidy says.

''Shut it! We're playing another game!'' King barks.

''No need to be salty.'' You mumble.

''Ohh~'' Everyone except King says.

''SHUT IT EXTRA!!'' King barks.

''Come on King. They're new.'' Red chuckles.

The new game starts and you repeat what you did before. This goes on for multiple rounds, you barely talking and if you talk it's mostly a comment on King. As the night ends you go offline and shut off your Playstation. You get ready for bed and lay down, getting comfortable as you let sleep take over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next two months you keep running into the group of friends and slowly you start opening up to them, actually talking and working together with them. Everyone's scores go up and even King starts accepting you, clearly favoring you over everyone else in the group. That is something the others often complain about.

''King, go a bit to your right behind the wall, I can't get a clear shot.'' You say.

''Got it.'' Is all he says as he aims at the person and kills them.

''Why are you so good at this BB?'' Charge Bolt whines.

''Well, my brother taught me and I play a lot. Red, left, behind the stack of boxes. Like, I play a lot a lot.'' You shrug as you shoot someone.

''Lets just focus on the mission.'' Spidy sighs.

''Got it.'' You all, minus King, reply, going silent once again except the occasional instruction.

Just like always you guys win the round and Red, Spidy, Charge Bolt and Pinky compliment you just like always. You just brush it off and you all start another round. After a few rounds Spidy, Pinky and King have to leave, but Red Riot and Charge Bolt stay. You three play a few more rounds before just deciding to talk.

''So you're telling me none of you guys have ever met?'' You ask in disbelieve.

''Yeah, King doesn't want it and he's always here because we don't play unless he's online. Though that did change since you're here now, but we just never really thought about it anymore.'' Red explains.

''Well, how about we three meet up?''

''Really?'' Red and Charge Bolt ask.

''Yeah, I trust you guys and we can meet up in a public place.'' You shrug, indifferent about your won idea.

''Sure thing.'' Charge Bolt says.

''Great. Okay so I'll tell you guys my number, but don't give it to the others.''

''We don't have their number.'' Red shrugs.

''Okay. So my number is; 0X-XXXX-XXXX.''

''Great, I'll text you. You can make a group chat and we can decide when to meet up.'' Charge Bolt explains.

''Sure thing. Bye guys.''

''Bye.''

You disconnect and wait for them to text you. When they do you save them in your contact list before making a group chat. You name it; Gaming Idiots and wait for them to send something. You don't have to wait long for them to do so.

~Gaming Idiots~

Red Riot Do I need to feel offended?

Charge Bolt No idea bro

You Nah, don't feel offended

Red Riot Okay

Charge Bolt So when are we meeting and where?

Red Riot This Saturday?

You Sure, at the mall in Hosu?

Charge Bolt Sure thing

Red Riot Fine by me

The three of you keep texting for a while until you say good bye because you're almost falling asleep. The rest of the week you guys don't bring up the meeting in front of the others, only mentioning it in the group chat or when you guys are the only ones online. Right now it's Saturday and you're at the mall, waiting for the two males to show up.

You glance around at all the people that are walking around the mall. They both told you what they look like and you did the same. Red Riot said he has red hair and is decently tall while Charge Bolt says he has golden blond hair and isn't all that tall. Red also mentioned something about being buff, which made Charge Bolt jealous because he isn't, or so he says.

As you look around you spot two males, fitting the descriptions you were given, looking around as if they're searching for something. Deciding to test your luck you walk over to them. The closer you get the more sure you are it is them. As you reach them they stare at you, as if waiting for you to confirm things.

''Red Riot? Charge Bolt?'' You ask softly, hoping you're right.

''BB?'' The two of them reply in sync.

''Yes.''

''Cool, we all found each other. Me and Charge Bolt saw each other a bit ago. Have you been here long?''

''Nah, just a few minutes. My real name is (y/n) by the way.''

''Kirishima.''

''Kaminari, nice to meet you gorgeous.'' Kaminari smirks confidently.

''You're the flirt I see. Anyway, what do you guys want to do?''

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Months go by and the three of you meet up almost weekly. You've developed a crush for the both of them and you have a feeling they have as well. You aren't sure however, but the way you all get flustered and blush a lot is a good indicator. Right now you're on your way to Kirishima's house where you all decided to meet up. You knock on the door and wait.

''Ah, (y/n). You made it. Come in.'' Kirishima smiles as he steps aside to let you in.

''Thanks.'' You smile as you walk past him and into the house.

You take off your shoes and walk further into the house. You soon spot the living room and walk in only to see Kaminari sitting on the ground in front of the coffee table. He smiles at you and waves you over, to which you comply. Kirishima sits down with you guys pretty soon and you look at their nervous faces.

''Something wrong?'' You ask them worriedly.

''We want to tell you something.'' Kirishima starts, avoiding eye contact.

''Okay.''

''We've known each other for a while now and.... We started liking you. Would you be our partner?'' Kaminari blurts out, also avoiding eye contact.

''Of course.'' You smile as you hug them both.

They stare at you in shock for a bit before they start laughing as they hold you close. As you all break the hug after a while you all talk and laugh. When it becomes late Denki walks you home before going to his own house, which you and Eijirou really apreciated. You've never been a big fan of walking outside alone in the dark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

''Guys, we should all meet up.'' Pinky states as you all wait for the new round to start.

''Sure, I don't see why not.'' Eijirou says and you can basically hear him shrug.

''Why not.'' Denki hums.

''Sure.'' You mumble as a reply.

''When?'' Is all Spidy asks.

''What-fucking-ever.''

''Such colorful vocabulary.'' You joke as you roll your eyes.

''YOU WANNA GO?!?!'' King barks into your ears.

''My ears man!'' Eijirou whines loudly.

''How about this Saturday at the mall in Hosu?'' Pinky suggests as the round starts.

''Sure, it's crowded so if any of you are creeps I'll be safe.'' You shrug as you shoot someone.

''Don't worry BB. Me and Red will protect you.'' Denki says in a confident tone.

''You're dead.'' You deadpan as you see his name fade.

''WHAT?!?!'' Denki exclaims loudly.

''Jezus. Could you all quit yelling.'' You groan as you slightly shake your head.

''We both know this was gonna happen BB.'' Eijirou sighs softly, amusement clear in his voice.

''But he didn't have to yell.''

''True, but still.'' Eijirou replies to which you sigh.

You all keep talking until King says he's leaving because it's getting late even though it's only nine thirty, but he always goes to bed at this time. As you shut off your Playstation you hear your phone ding, causing you to smile. You grab your phone and unlock it, seeing Denki send something in the groupchat.

~Gaming Idiots~

Denki<3 But I wasn't kidding, Pichu, we will protect you

Eiji<3 Denks is right. We will

You I know, but it's fun teasing you Denki

Eiji<3 You both looking forward to Saturday?

Denki<3 Mhm! I'm curious as to what they look like

You Well one will have wrinkles from all the shouting and scowling

Denki<3 XD fnwfelsfflwnjk

Eiji<3 That's rude, but it is true

And so you guys keep texting until it's late into the night and you're all barely awake. The next two days you all play every night and you text your boyfriends until late into the night on both days. Right now it's Saturday, about eleven in the morning and you're getting ready. You know Eijirou and Denki will be there soon, so you quickly finish up.

Just as you put the last things in your pockets and bag you hear the door bell ring and a smile appears on your face. You walk over to the front door and put on your shoes and coat. After that you open the door and smile brightly. Your two boyfriends do the same, wearing some simple clothes just like you.

''Hey, Pichu, you ready?'' Denki asks as he gives you a quick kiss.

''Hey, Babes. I'm ready.'' You smile as you walk outside and lock your door.

''Good.'' Eijirou smiles as he gives you a kiss as well.

The three of you start walking towards the mall as you all talk and laugh, memories of your first meeting flooding all your minds. As you all reach the mall you look around, looking for anyone fitting any of the descriptions given to the three of you. You soon spot an annoyed looking, ash blond guy.

''Guys, isn't that King?'' You ask your boyfriends as you point at the guy.

''You might be right. Lets go check if it is.'' Eijirou smiles as he starts walking.

You and Denki follow after him, all of you pushing past people and excusing yourselves. As you reach whom you assume is King a pink haired girl and a black haired guy also walk up to him. You look at Eijirou and Denki and they just nod. Now you are almost a hundred percent sure it's King.

''King?'' You ask as you reach the man.

''Yes, who the fuck are you?''

''(y/n), but better known as BB.'' You smile at him.

''Kirishima, better known as Red Riot.''

''Kaminari, better known as Charge Bolt.''

''Ashido, but you guys know me as Pinky.'' The pink haired girl smiles.

''Sero, but you know me as Spidy Guy.'' The black guy smiles.

''Bakugou.'' is all King says.

''now that we're all here and know names, how about we get something to eat and drink before we just do whatever?'' you suggest as you look at them.

''sure.'' they all reply.

you start walking to your favorite coffee shop which you always go to with Eijirou and Denki whenever you guys are here. Two said males smile once they notice and grin at one another. Cheerful chatter fills the air around the six of you. As you all reach the coffee shop you all order and sit down. You sit in between Eijirou and Denki, Bakugou sits in front of you, Ashido in front of Eijirou and Sero in front of Denki.

''This is so exciting.'' Sshido gushes as she takes a sip of her drink.

''Mhm, I finally have faces with the voices and names.'' You smile as you take a sip as well.

''Yeah, that is nice. We should totally exchange numbers though. That way we can talk without having to play.'' Denki chimes in.

You all keep talking while eating and drinking. Once you all finish Eijirou pays and you all start walking around, walking into random shops and buying random things. As you're looking at some books together with Eijirou and Denki you feel someone stare at you intently, so you look behind you and lock eyes with Bakugou's burning gaze.

''Pebble, something wrong?'' Eijirou asks worried.

''Bakugou is staring at us rather intensely.'' You mumble as you keep staring at him.

''Then ask him what's wrong.'' Denki shrugs as he grabs another book.

You simply nod and walk over to Bakugou, never once breaking eye contact. He doesn't move towards you or away from you as he follows you with his eyes. As you reach him you stand in front of him and look up slightly seeing he's taller than you. He glares down at you, eyes burning with something you can't quiet place.

''Something wrong Bakugou?''

''Why the fuck are you so close with Shitty hair and Dunce face?''

''Can't I be?''

''You fucking can, but it's different. Soy sauce and Pinky are close as well, but you three are acting fucking off.''

''Not everyone is the same Bakugou.'' You deadpan with a soft sigh.

''Just fucking tell me, do you already know the other extras?''

''I d-''

''Ie! Denki!'' You hear Eijirou exclaim, causing you to look back.

You see Denki laughing as he runs off with Eijirou chasing him, a playful yet annoyed look on his face. Sighing you walk away from Bakugou and towards your two idiotic boyfriends. First you grab Denki by the back off his collar, causing him to yelp. Next you do the same with Eijirou. They both look at you sheepishly as you sigh.

''Behave.''

''Yes.'' They both reply.

You nod and let the both of them go. They sigh in relief, but that's short lived as you hit the both of them at the back of the head. They both yelp in pain and rub the back of their heads as they weakly glare at you. You simply smile at them and ruffle their hair. You hear someone stomp over and look behind you to see Bakugou.

''Fucking spit it out!'' He barks as he glares dagers at the three of you.

''Spit what out?'' Eijirou and Denki ask confused.

''Do you guys fucking know each other?''

''Of course, we all game together.'' Denki asks, confused at the question.

''That's not what he means. He means if we know each other outside of the gaming.'' You explain, not looking at him but Bakugou.

''Ah, yeah we do.'' Denki smiles obliviously.

''Denki.'' Both you and Eijirou groan, he can be too dumb for his own good sometimes.

''What did I do?'' He asks worried.

''We promised to meet up all at once and not separately, remember?'' Eijirou asks him.

''Ohhh, right. We did promise that.'' Denki mumbles. ''Oopsie.''

''Dunce face!'' Bakugou barks.

''Back off Bakugou. He might be an idiot, but he's our idiot.'' You say in a low, threatening voice.

''YOU'RE ALL PIECES OFF SHIT!! FUCKING LIARS!! I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU!! NEVER FUCKING SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!!'' Bakugou yells as he stomps off and out of the store.

''Well, that happened.'' You mumble, but as you look at your boyfriends you see their teary eyes.

''Ei? Denki?'' You ask as you walk closer.

''He hates us......We promised to always be there and....Now he hates us.'' Eijirou mumbles as he looks at you with sad eyes.

''Ohh, Ei, he'll turn around.'' You shush him softly as you hug him.

''He won't. He's the reason Ear Jack isn't in the group anymore. She kept canceling whenever we decided to all come online and Bakugou blew up on her.'' Denki mumbles as tears fill his eyes to the brim.

''I'm sorry. I didn't know.'' You whisper as you pull him into the hug as well.

''What happened here?'' Ashido asks worried.

''Bakugou blew up on us. Something about hating us and never wanting to talk to us again.'' You explain, holding your boyfriends close.

''I see. Well, it was nice knowing you guys. Bye.'' Sero says as he waves and walks off.

''Bye.''

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

''Come one guys, cheer up a bit.'' You whisper as you look at your two sad boyfriends.

''We lost our friend, Pichu.'' Denki mumbles as his eyes fill with tears again.

''He hates us. We failed him.'' Eijirou mumbles as he hugs himself close.

They've been like this for two weeks now and it isn't helping you either. You were the one who suggested meeting up in the first place, only the three of you. 'If I didn't ask them to meet up with me, just us, non of this would have happened. This is my fault.' You think as you walk out of Eijirou's house where Denki has been staying since that day.

You walk to the park and google Bakugou's number, finding some social media pages linked to it. After a bit you see a house, with a house number. He's standing in front of the house together with a green haired guy who seems to be the same age. You recognize the buildings and start walking to the neighborhood where those houses stand.

As you walk around you try to find his house, different scenarios running through your mind. After a while you see the house and walk up to it. Sighing you ring the doorbell and wait. After a bit a female version of Bakugou opens the door. You assume it's his mom. She looks at you in shock before smiling brightly.

''Hello, what can I do for you?'' She asks sweetly.

''I’m here for Bakugou. I'm a friend of his and I want to talk to him.'' You explain.

''Come in. KATSUKI!!'' She yells as she turns away from you and walks into the house.

''WHAT YOU OLD HAG?!?!'' Bakugou's voice yells back.

''THERE'S SOMEONE HERE FOR YOU!! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!!'' She turns back to you and smiles. ''You can sit in the living room.''

''I'll stand right here, ma'am.'' You smile with a slight bow of your head.

You hear feet stomp down the stairs and look up, seeing and annoyed Bakugou stomping down them. Once he sees you his look turns even more annoyed and even angry. You look at him with a neutral face as the mom walks into the kitchen after excusing herself. Bakugou walks over to you with a burning glare.

''What the fuck are you doing here?'' He hisses.

''It was my idea. I suggested to meet up, just the three of us. I asked if you guys ever met up and they said no. It was my idea. Don't punish them for my mistake.'' You state, meeting his gaze and holding it.

''And why the fuck would I believe you?'' He asks in a skeptical voice.

''I have no reason to lie to you. Eijirou and Denki are hurting, they're devastated that they lost you. Hate me all you want, god you can wish me death, but at least accept them into the games. You don't have to be buddy buddy with them, but they need you.''

''Bullshit.''

''Believe what you want. Deep down you know they're devastated and that it was never their intention to hurt you like this. I caught them off guard and got us to meet, it was my idea. That's all I have to say. Do with it what you want. I'll be leaving now. Bye.'' You say as you turn to the door and walk out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The doorbell of your house rings, causing you to frown. You walk over to the door you open it and see Bakugou, causing your frown to deepen. You open the door and let him in. He walks past you, takes off his shoes and walks deeper into the house, eventually sitting down on the couch. You follow after him, frown not leaving.

''What are you doing here?'' You ask as you sit down on a chair facing the couch.

''Where are Shitty hair and Dunce face?''

''At Eijirou's house. They haven't left it after that day.''

''Shitty hair has his own house?'' Bakugou asks surprised, although he doesn't really show it.

''Yeah, me and Eijirou have our own houses. Denki still lives at home just like you.''

''Get them to come over.''

''Okay.'' You take your phone out of your pocket and call Eijirou, putting the phone on speaker, causing Bakugou to frown.

''Pebble, we are not going outside and coming over. You know we aren't in the mood.'' Eijirou's tired voice mumbles after two rings.

''I know, Ei. I know.'' You whisper as your eyes sadden.

''Then why did you call?'' Denki mumbles as you glance at Bakugou who looks shocked.

''There is someone here who would like to talk to you guys.'' You sigh as you hand the phone to Bakugou. ''Hurt them and I hurt you. I'll be at the store. I'll be back in half an hour.''

Bakugou nods as you walk over to the door, put on your shoes and leave. Bakugou looks at the phone as Eijirou and Denki keep calling for you and asking who it is. Bakugou takes a deep breath and shakes his head to get rid of the thoughts. By now it's silent on the other end.

''Is it fucking true it was their idea?''

''....Bakugou?'' The both of them ask softly.

''Answer the fucking question.'' Bakugou groans in annoyance.

''It was. They suggested to meet up. Why are you at their place? I thought you hated us and wanted nothing to do with us.'' Eijirou mumbles defeated.

''They came to my fucking house four days ago and explained it was their idea, not fucking yours. I just wanted to fucking make sure.''

''Okay.'' They mumble softly.

''Oi.''

''Yeah?''

''Sorry or whatever. You guys can join games again and text or whatever. And don't make me fucking regret that shit.''

''We won't!'' The both of them cheer.

The three of them talk until you come home. You're glad to hear their cheerful voices over the phone. Bakugou looks at you with his usual scowl and holds the phone out to you. You shake your head, walk over and mute yourself. Bakugou frowns and it only deepens when he sees your teary eyes.

''This is all my fault. Here is Eijirou's address, you can go there and talk to them face to face if you want. Don't bother coming here again. I'll take responsibility for what I did.'' You whisper as you take the phone, unmute it and take a deep breath. ''Bakugou is on his way to you guys, bye.''

''What the fuck are you doing?'' Bakugou asks as he gets up and stares down at you.

''The right thing.'' You whisper as you walk over to your bedroom and close the door behind you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next two weeks you cry a lot, ignore Eijirou's and Denki's texts and calls and when they're at the door you also don't respond. You know you're worrying them, but you can't bring yourself to face them after everything you made them go through. they were heartbroken when Bakugou broke off contact.

''OPEN THE FUCK UP!!'' You hear Bakugou bark as he bangs on your door violently.

''Go away.'' You mumble before walking away from the door.

''I SAID OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!!''

''Just go away! Leave me alone! I deserve it! I hurt them so much! It's all my fault!'' You exclaim as tears stream down your face.

''BULLSHIT!! OPEN THE DOOR!!''

''NO!! LEAVE ME ALONE!! I DON'T DESERVE THEM!! IF IT WASN'T FOR ME NON OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!! THEY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN HURT LIKE THAT!!'' You exclaim as you fall to the ground.

''Fuck it.'' Is all the warning you get before you door falls to the ground. ''LISTEN HERE YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!! YOU'RE FUCKING HURTING THEM RIGHT NOW!! MAN THE FUCK UP AND TALK TO THEM!!''

''No!''

''GOD DAMNED IT DON'T BE FUCKING STUBBORN!! YOU'RE ALL FUCKING HURTING!!'' He yells as he walks over and grabs your collar, lifting you up so you're face to face. ''Fucking talk to them. This shit isn't helping. Go over to Shitty hair's house and fucking talk to them.''

''I can't.'' You whisper in defeat as a sob escapes. ''I can't! I can't bring myself to do it! Whenever I see their picture flash across my screen I fucking break down! I can't!''

''Fuck it.'' Bakugou grumbles before slinging you over his shoulder.

You eyes widen in shock as Bakugou walks over to the door and steps over it, walking out off your apartment. You trash in his hold and yell at him to let you go as you sob and hit his back. He just stays silent as he walks to Eijirou's house. Once he reaches it he harshly knocks on the door, by now you're just limply hanging on his shoulder.

''Hey, wh-(y/n)? Bakugou?'' Eijirou asks confused. ''What is this?''

''Let me the fuck in.''

''Of course.''

Eijirou steps aside and Bakugou walks in, heading to the living room after kicking off his shoes. He throws you onto the couch and walks out of the house again. You just lay motionless on the couch with your face buried in the cushions. Denki and Eijirou stare at you with worry and confusion as they sit on the chairs facing the couch.

''Pichu?'' Denki whispers softly, breaking the tens and awkward silence.

''Pebble, talk to us please.'' Eijirou pleads softly.

''It's my fault. All of this is my fault.'' You mumble as you push yourself up and hug your legs to your chest.

''What do you mean, Pichu?''

''If I hadn't asked you guys to meet up non of this would have happened.''

''We could have said no to your offer, we're just as much at fault.'' Eijirou says in a caring voice.

''I surprised you guys.''

'Iis this why you've been ignoring us?'' Denki whispers softly as he gets up and walks over.

''I just feel so guilty and I....I feel like I don't deserve this.'' You mumbles as you glance at him with teary eyes.

''You do deserve this, Pebble. We don't hold any of this against you and we never will. I get why you feel like this, but there is no reason for you to feel like this.'' Eijirou says with a gentle smile as he walks over.

''You promise?'' You almost whimper.

''We promise. Now are we good again?''

''Yeah.''

[octalove]

IV: The Dinner

(Batgirl/Red Hood)

Brief note; per demand, this little trilogy will now be an ongoing series🥺thank u all for the support! i was not expecting it at all. ur comments make my day!! i hope u enjoy this chapter bearing in mind that i wasn’t intending on a full length fic, so i hope u can put up with any missteps in the plot or writing. i’m making it up as i go. kiss kiss

Description: Reader makes an ally, and attends a tense dinner. part one, two, and three.

A mild blue dawn was just beginning to flit through the blinds, and I sighed heavily, stretching a little, and running a hand across my face. My skin was cold to the touch. Rolling over stiffly, I glanced at the clock on my nightstand.

5:26a.m.

Nineteen minutes before my alarm. I was too cold to go back to sleep, I knew, as much as Alfred had requested I try and get more of it. Pulling myself up, the sheets slipped off my bare shoulders and folded onto themselves. Once in a blue moon, I would forego making it up again, usually accompanied by an excuse. Today, I didn’t have one. I put my feet on the floor, mind buzzing.

I was done tossing and turning, and decided to get up and shower. Afterward, I threw on my uniform, and got to work on my face. A little bronzy eyeshadow, some mascara and lip balm. I could’ve turned my face into a work of art, but I was tired from my sleepless night and doing much else seemed like a strain.

There was a knock on the door.

“Come in.” I was expecting Bruce or Alfred, but I caught Tim’s reflection in my vanity mirror.

“Hey.” He said.

“Good morning.” I replied tensely. He sat on my bed. Okay. Weird. Tim was a year younger than me- but always ordained himself something of an older brother. His brainpower made learned helplessness and easy state to slip into when he was around- always fixing my PS4, or recovering lost files from my laptop. When we first met, I used to use those things as a crutch to interact with him, as neither of us were particularly forthcoming. These days, we were as close as any pair of siblings.

“What’s up?” I asked, tucking away my mascara wand.

“Oh, I just thought I’d… check up on you. Before school started.”

I was the only one of the Waynes attending Gotham Academy at the moment. Damian was still at Gotham Prep, but by the time he would attend next year, I’d be graduated. I wondered if Tim ever missed it. He garnered his fair share of attention; mostly because of his attractive status and predisposition of agreeability. Before he dropped out, I used the be the subject of mediation for every eligible teenage girl that wanted to get to know my brother- no, the other one. With the soft hair. The chem tutor.

I laughed a little. “Do I seem like I need it?” Tim shrugged. I got up and plopped on the duvet beside him. My window was open a crack, filling the room with a chilly breeze and the scent of moisture and petrichor.

“Did Bruce make you get up for this?” I tried again, keeping my playful tone. He sighed and shook his head.

“Bruce isn’t the only one who’s noticed you lately.” He said, with contrasting seriousness that made my smile fall.

“What’s there to notice? Seriously.” I questioned.

He sighed again and twisted his lip. I knew what that meant. He was about to list everything different I’d been doing for the past three weeks, either alphabetically or by severity. “You look tired. You get home and go straight to your room. You keep fidgeting during briefings. You look distracted. You’re avoiding Damian- which, I get it- but like, more than usual. Dick said you haven’t texted him all week. You usually have something to say about your day at dinner, but-“

“Okay. I get it.”

A brief moment passed, where I watched him pull a looser string from the duvet.

“I know you went somewhere. On the 21st, when we were patrolling in Otisburg. You went somewhere for forty-two minutes.”

I blinked. “Oh.”

“I’m not accusing you of anything-“ He added quickly, looking at me. “Really, I have know idea why you left. I’m sure it was nothing, I just… you’ve been acting weird ever since. Where did you go?”

I swallowed, and my intestines felt like lead. Really, I was relieved. Here I was, in my room I’d decorated with Wayne money, with my brother who evidently cared enough about me to notice my typical word count at dinner, asking me what was wrong. And a lot was wrong.

So, I smoothed my plaid skirt and told him about the night of the 21st- and only that. From Red Hood, to Hoffman, to the warehouse. Every vivid detail I could remember. I decided to leave out my little truancy adventure, along with meeting him in the alley. Lifting up his mask. Having his exposed skin close enough to touch. His gunpowder smell. By the end, Tim was frowning. The following silence could’ve crushed a coke can.

“Shit.” He muttered.

“Yeah.” I echoed. “Shit.”

He didn’t asked why I didn’t tell Bruce. Or Anyone. He didn’t ask why it was so important to me to do this by myself. All he did was take in the information and start putting it together.

“Jesus- you could’ve died. But all that Hoffman stuff. Why you?”

“Exactly!” I breathed.

Another knock on the door, and Alfred’s voice carried through, telling me it was time to go. I got up. Tim nodded and followed suit, no doubt carrying my every last recounting in his piggy-bank memory.

“Please don’t tell Bruce.” I said, some amount of fear slipping into my voice. “I know it was a stupid thing to do and it was stupid not to tell anyone. But he’ll never trust me again.” Tim hesitated at the door.

“There’s nothing to tell.”

I climbed into the backseat of the car, and stared at the cityscape running past the windows. The anxiety had lifted. One of my growing number of secrets revealed. In its wake, the sudden absence left a sense of clarity. I remembered why I had kept it to begin with.

Dick was gifted. The first. The talented boy who could fly. Babs and Tim were brilliant; genius far beyond the confines of academia. Damian was skilled. Trained from birth, the blood son. It nestled here him neatly, right where he belonged. What was I? I wasn’t born with athletic ability beyond my years, or genius intellect. Without that information- without my secrets- I had nothing else to give.

*

Thursday night was dinner. The whole family. It was Bruce’s excuse to drag Dick out of his apartment in Blüdhaven, and for Alfred to exercise a new recipe, since everyone was on a strict lean-means and superfoods regimen every other waking day. Babs attended occasionally, when work didn’t keep her busy, and Tim was only allowed to pass if he promised to rest instead.

I met his eyes as everyone was rounded into the dining room by Alfred like a herd of sheep; he gave me some imperceptible knowing look that promised to keep my secret.

We sat down and sipped water from crystal glasses as the table was set with food, muttering amongst ourselves about our days. Dick was given a coffee with the wrong name (‘Nick’), Babs met up with her friend from high school (Olivia something or other), and Damian completed a group project with some incompetent classmates (they all were- even the professors). Vigilante talk wasn’t forbidden, but generally skirted around so as to offer a small reprieve of normalcy during the week.

There was an exception to this unspoken rule when there was a particularly exciting case on the table. Unfortunately for me and my anxiety, the case of the Red Hood was a very exciting one.

“Any new breaks with Red Hood?” Dick asked through miso soup. Bruce sighed.

“He made some movements in Robbinsville. Gone before we could get there. He’s got his men on a tight leash- we couldn’t get any of them to talk.”

“Course not. There’s rumors flying all over the department. One of the Ioveanu family branches payed out a huge security detail for their private mansion.”

“He hasn’t hunted anyone in their home, has he?” I asked. I pictured him standing in front of me- maskless, in my academy uniform.

“No, it’s not his MO.” Barbara answered.

“Not yet. It’s only been six months, and he’s progressing rapidly.” Bruce diagnosed grimly.

“Are you scared he’s gonna join us for dinner?” Dick joked, throwing a wink my way.

“Haha.” I muttered. Actually, I hadn’t slept because of the very idea.

“If you’re nervous, you could always stay home next patrol.” Damian suggested pointedly. To him, existing in the realm of crimefighting was a competition, and he was always looking for others to drop out of the race. I resisted the urge to fling a pea at him.

“I’m not nervous.” I said coolly.

“You’ve been practically trembling since we fought his pathetic lackeys.”

“Damian.” Bruce warned, from the head of the table. I flipped the smallest Wayne the middle finger. He resigned, but I swore I saw amusement on his lips.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Red Hood is very skilled and very prolific. It’s a daunting case.” Bruce continued.

“Thanks, but I’m okay. Really.” I said, trying not to sound annoyed, and feeling like a spotlight was over my head, operated by the ghost of Hoffman. I almost laughed as I pictured it.

“That’s good to hear. We’ve been concerned.” Alfred added.

“Wow. I’m the star of the show around here.” I remarked dryly.

“We can’t help it, Miss Independent.” Dick said teasingly. “You’re just a good mystery.”

“Reminds me of Talia.” Tim said casually. The silverware stopped clanging.

It was a shameless subject change. Damian’s mother was an inflammatory topic for all parties. Bruce’s moral contempt didn’t reach the likes of Talia Al Ghul and Selena Kyle, immoral though they were. Beauty makes anything charming- and when paired with an impeccable taste in dress, even murder and thievery can be minimized into something of a quirk. Bruce thought so, anyway.

As for Damian, he had grappled with his dismissal from Talia’s side for what was now a majority of his life, and still possessed this deep-rooted, inextinguishable attachment to his mother. It was the hollow soreness any young boy would have in his position. Tim called him mama’s boy until he finally displayed a frightening amount of disdain for the title and actually begged him to stop. Tim agreed to, and I agreed to pretend I never heard a thing.

Dick disagreed with both of those sentiments and viewed Talia as someone who wasn’t worth the trouble. His dismissal embarrassed Bruce and offended Damian, so I knew the dinner table had been sufficiently turned into a powder keg. Tim and I shared a look as I expressed silent gratefulness, and he resigned to inspecting a dumpling, while I picked around my haka noodles.

The rest of dinner was quiet. Somehow, somewhere in the silence all had been decidedly forgiven. First by Babs who asked me to pass the pepper. Then by Dick who said the vegetables were good. Thank you, Alfred. Damian still looked pissed, and Bruce kept stealing glances at the clock.

I texted Tim under the table.

Thanks for taking one for the team.

The reply: You owe me one. I think Damian’s gonna poison my food.

We both glanced at the youngest, who was darkly mesmerized by what appeared to be Tim’s soup bowl.

He quickly added, Wait, actually tho? And we both fought laughter like two kids in the back of the class. It felt good to have an ally. Even if he still didn’t know the whole truth.

[playitbackreplay-moved]

FAMILY TIES !

SUMMARY :: In which Jinhwan's life takes a turn when he finds out the truth about his father. CHARACTERS :: Jang Jinhwan, Jang Jinhee, Maisie Park, Della Jang WORDS :: 3.3K WARNINGS ::  implied infidelity, family issues, implied sexual content, fighting, yelling, drinking ( if i missed anything let me know ! )

2015 !

Jinhwan wasn’t sure when the bitterness started to set on every time his father would come and visit, though he knew that it was one of the more recent developments. His father was something like an enigma to him, though it wasn’t like he really got to know much about the man that would show up on their doorstep whenever he was in town, leaving just after getting everyone’s hopes up. Maybe the bitterness set in when he was finally old enough to read his father’s patterns, maybe it was the protectiveness that he felt over his mother and sister that set it off.

Ever since Jinhwan was little he had been protective of Jinhee, even if she was ten minutes older than him. Jinhee was too kind, too optimistic, and gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, it was only natural for Jinhwan to want to protect her, to make sure her fragile heart didn’t get broken. It was no surprise that Jinhee, sweet and kind Jinhee, would get excited and giddy whenever their father was in town, hoping this would be the time he actually stayed. Every time, Jinhwan was left to pick up the pieces of Jinhee’s broken heart in their small shared bedroom, under the nightlights, careful to not let their mother see. Maybe Jinhwan knew when the bitterness set in, and maybe it was after he was left to pick up the pieces of a broken family who hoped for something more every time, and every time got disappointed yet again.

Jinhwan wasn’t surprised when his father showed up again just after his and Jinhee’s birthday, just a year and a few days after the last time he had walked out, going back to whatever life he lived without them. Jinhee had been ecstatic when their father showed up, a set of high end makeup for her, and a PS4 for Jinhwan in his hands, like one gift would make up for all the time pushed them to the side. Jinhwan, on the other hand, had been sitting on the couch, glaring at the way his mom and Jinhee hung onto every word of their father’s travels, things that Jinhwan were sure never even happened. He could see them get pulled into their father’s orbit once again, falling back into the feelings they said was over the last time he walked out on them.

Jinhwan, at only fifteen and a few days, wanted nothing more than to go up to their father and tell him to leave, but he knew his mother would be upset. He couldn’t stand the little sparkle in his mother’s eyes as she looked at their father, the only man she ever truly loved, as she had mentioned right after he left the last time, her mind full of the alcohol she drank to forget the pain that night, not sure of the words coming out of her mouth. Jinhwan had almost cried with her that night, but he held strong, helping his mother to bed that night before venturing into his and Jinhee’s shared room, which fared no better. The gifts their dad left them were strewn across the floor, Jinhee left laying on her bed, her cover pulled up over her head, but that didn’t stop Jinhwan from hearing the faint sniffles coming from her side of the room. That was the worst of his father leaving and he vowed from that day that he wouldn’t let this man ruin their lives again.

He knew there wasn’t much he could do, other than sit back and wait for their father to finally leave again. It hurt knowing that no matter what, his family would get hurt. Jinhwan sighed, pulling himself off the couch, at least if his mother and sister were fawning over the man in front of them, he didn’t have to be around to see it. He made his way through the small apartment, into the kitchen where he wanted to get a glass of water. Jinhwan shuffled his way into the room, kicking his father’s jacket along the way, his small brown wallet falling out of it and sliding across the tiled floor. Of course, he thought with a sigh, leaning down to pick up the cursed object, a small piece of paper falling out as he did so. Jinhwan reached out, his hands curling around what looked to be a small worn picture that had fallen. The picture held three people, all gathering around a camera for a selfie. One was Jinhwan’s father, who had his arm around an older woman, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek, the last girl looked much younger, smiling brightly into the camera where she was taking the picture.

He has another kid. The thought flooded his mind immediately, looking at how the younger girl, who couldn’t be much older than Jinhwan himself, looked like a perfect mix of his father and the other woman.  He felt his stomach dropped as he flipped the picture over, looking at the neat scribbling on the back.

Dad! Make sure you keep this with you at all times when you’re gone, we don’t want you forgetting what we look like! Love, you favorite (and only) daughter, Della! 

Jinhwan let out a shaky breath, putting the picture away in the wallet and tucking it carefully into the jacket it had fallen out of. He knew his dad was a piece of shit, but he didn’t expect him to have a full double life. He knew in his mind he had to tell them, even if it broke their heart. He couldn’t let his mother and his sister fawn over this man that only had them in a quarter of his.

He set his jaw, walking through the winding hallways of the old apartment, into his shared room. He would tell Jinhee when she came to bed tonight, he couldn’t ruin their fun now, not right in front of their father. Though, when Jinhee walked through the door that night, the light sparkle she got in her eyes whenever she so much as thought about their father was very much present, Jinhwan knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t be the one to break her heart like that.

2018 !

Jinhwan wasn’t sure what possessed him to sneak into Jinhee’s dorm that night, but he knew he could never say no to his sister when she was feeling a bit down. He had snuck past the rest of the girls in her dorm many times before, careful to keep himself out of the sight of the manager who lived in the dorm with them. It was a practiced science he was used to.

Jinhee was curled up on the top of her bed, her eyes still red from crying over some guy who didn’t deserve to even have had a chance with his sister. She was focused on the small computer in front of her playing some new Mnet survival show that Jinhwan had no intention of paying any attention to. Anything to keep his sister happy.

The show was slow, much like many other survival shows that Jinhwan couldn’t even bear to watch, and it relied on far too much drama to even make any sense of what was going on. Jinhwan was just glad that Banana Culture wasn’t putting them through a stupid survival show for their debut, he’s not sure he could have stood that.

Jinhee, on the other hand, loved the drama. She was always watching over dramatic shows and she watched any survival show she could get her hands on. Jinhwan’s almost surprised he didn’t get herself on some sort of survival show, just so she could live out the drama herself.

“She's really pretty,” Jinhee spoke, mostly to the room at this point, probably being able to tell that Jinhwan was paying little attention to the show in front of them.

Jinhwan snapped his head up from where he was staring at his hands, catching a glimpse of the girl that Jinhee was talking about. She was lanky and tall, her hair cut in a short dark bob, which really showed off her facial structure. The girl might have been the prettiest girl Jinhwan had ever seen, and at the ripe age of seventeen, Jinhwan had seen lots of pretty girls.

Movement in the corner of the screen caught his eye, and he looked over at the girl that was sitting next to the pretty goddess he could barely take his eyes off of. His heart skipped a beat as he looked straight at the girl he had seen once before. It wasn’t like he had seen the girl in passing at school, which happened to quite a few of these girls that were wandering around the screen. No, Jinhwan had only seen that face once before, three years ago. That was the face of their father’s other daughter.

“Who are these guys?” Jinhwan asked, his eyes still locked on the screen, not being able to tear them away from the girl that is his sister.

“Why does Jinhwan have a little crush?” she nudged him. “Honestly, she’s a bit out of your league, but-”

“Jinhee, who are they?” he cut her off, and maybe if it was any other day he would have felt bad about it, but today he couldn’t care less.

“Jeez, okay,” Jinhee put her hand up in mock surrender. “They’re the KQ trainees, Jinri, Maisie, and Della. We don’t know much about them but they’re about to actually perform.”

Jinhwan just nodded, but said nothing else. Della was here, she was in Korea and far too close to home. He had barely thought about her since the last time their father had walked out on them. He watched the rest of the episode, unable to keep his eyes away from his sister every time she came across the screen.

2020 !

Jinhwan wasn't sure how things fell into place. Maisie was basically everything he had hoped for when he had seen her on Produce 48, trying his best to gauge the personality of Della. He would never admit it, but Maisie was the reason he kept watching even after Della was eliminated. 

Jinhwan hadn’t expected anything to happen between him and Maisie when they ran into each other backstage at a music show. They hadn’t talked long, Maisie having to rush off and perform, but they kept running into each other again and again. Jinhwan still remembered the way that his eyes bugged out of his head when Maisie had asked him out on the last day of their promotions together, though it wasn’t as bad as the way Jinhee’s jaw dropped when Jinhwan had told her about it.  

‘There’s no way someone like her asked someone like you out! You have to be lying!’ she had said, hitting his arms light enough that he could barely feel it, though that might have been due to him feeling like he was on cloud nine at that moment.

Maisie was perfect, all except for one thing. Della. Jinhwan knew what he was getting into when he started dating someone who was slated to be in the same group as his new sister, but he hadn’t expected them to be best friends. Della, for some reason, also knew how to call at just the most inopportune time.

Which left Jinhwan laying back on his bed, his whole body flushed with the way Maisie had been hovering over him just minutes before when her phone started ringing. His girlfriend had taken the call right away, telling Jinhwan that she would be back soon, but Della had just gone on a date that night and she needed to be on call. Jinhwan wasn’t mad, in fact he thought it was sweet that Maisie cared so much about her friends, but he was annoyed that it was Della of all people. Jinhwan wanted to push Della to the back of his mind and forget about her, just like how he did once all those years ago. 

“Okay, Dells, I’ll talk to you later,” he heard his girlfriend say from the other side of the room he shared with Donghan. He didn’t look over, but he could practically feel Maisie glancing over at him every second. “Bye.”

Jinhwan kept his eyes trained on the ceiling as he heard Maisie’s footsteps across the room. Her leg swung over his body in a matter of seconds, straddling the younger man, quickly leaning down to press a quick kiss to his lips.

“Now, where were we?” she smiled, leaning back down to kiss him again. Jinhwan let his hands travel up her bare sides, trying to put his mind back into where it was before the phone call had interrupted them, though his mind kept wandering.

“How’s Della?” he asked suddenly, looking up at the ceiling again as Maisie started to kiss down his jaw.

He felt her still, looking up at the younger with a raised eyebrow. “You want to talk about Della while you’re half hard?”

Jinhwan didn’t answer, he just continued to stare at the ceiling, annoyed that his brain wouldn’t let him enjoy one of the few moments he can spend with his girlfriend. Maisie waited a second, but she didn’t get a reply she sighed, leaning back.

“What’s up with you? Every time I so much as mention Della you get this weird look on your face like you’re constipated or something.” Jinhwan finally looked over at his girlfriend, only to see a confused look on her face. “And I know you don’t actually know her because I asked her, so spill.”

Jinhwan sighed, wondering how he was going to explain this to his girlfriend, who he had only been dating for a few months at this point. He didn’t want Maisie to have to be in the center of whatever weird shit he had going on with Della, but he also didn’t want to keep secrets from her.

“Della’s my sister,” Jinhwan blurted out, looking anywhere but Maisie’s eyes. “Well, half-sister, we share a dad and nobody else knows but me.”

“Oh,” she said quietly, her voice small, almost like she didn’t mean for the words to come out. 

They stayed quiet for a bit, Jinhwan biting his lip waiting for any sort of response, and Maisie processing the words that Jinhwan had just said.

“So, you and Della are siblings?” she finally said after minutes of sitting in silence. Jinhwan just nodded in reply. “And she has no idea that you two are siblings?” another nod. “How did you even find out?”

“I saw a picture of her in my father’s wallet a few years ago when he came to visit.”

Maisie nodded but stayed quiet again, looking around the room and biting her lip lightly. Jinhwan knew she had something she wanted to say, but she was second guessing herself.

“Were-” she started, cutting herself off like she was thinking better of the words she was about to ask, then she closed her eyes and sighed lightly. “Were you only with me to get closer to Della?”

“What?” Jinhwan shot up, sitting face-to-face with Maisie, who was looking anywhere but Jinhwan’s face. “No, of course not. In fact, I half wish you weren’t so close to Della so I could forget all of this even existed.” his words didn’t seem to make Maisie feel any better, with the awkward look on her face. “Look, Maisie, I love you so much and I really don’t want to have to put you in the middle of this situation because she’s your best friend, but I didn’t feel like it was fair to keep it from you.”

Maisie smiled a bit, wrapping her arms around Jinhwan’s neck. “I also don’t think it’s fair for you to keep it from Della either.”

Jinhwan sighed, shaking his head. “I haven’t even told my own sister, I don’t think it would be fair for me to go up to a girl I don’t even know and ruin her whole family.”

“Is it fair to let her keep thinking her father is the best person in the world when he had a whole double life going on?”

Jinhwan bit his lip, but didn’t reply.

Maisie let out a small sigh. “Look, it’s up to you, it’s your family, but that’s what I think.”

Jinhwan just nodded, leaning forward to hug his girlfriend tightly, not wanting to think about any of this anymore.

2021 !

Jinhwan bit his lip nervously, looking across the small room that he recognized so well. He hadn’t been to Jinhee dorm for a while, the older girl had been working hard on the final preparations for their debut and she was far more excited about that then spending time with her brother.

“Hwannie, guess what?” she bounced around the room, going no particular place.

“Hmm,” he contemplated, looking up to the bottom of the bunk on top of her’s. “You tripped on your way out of the practice room and everyone just stared and laughed at you.”

“What? No.” Jinhee gave him a confused look, before she went back to her bouncing. “I texted Dad about my debut coming up and he responded saying he was proud of me!”

Jinhwan tried to smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes and Jinhee could tell in a second. “Oh, come on Jinhwan! I know you don’t really like Dad, but it was nice that he actually responded!”

“Jinhee, I need to tell you something about Dad,” he sighed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

“No, you’re not ruining the first thing I’ve heard from Dad in months, I-”

“Dad has another kid!” Jinhwan blurted out, knowing if he left it any longer, he would chicken out.

Jinhee’s face dropped, looking back at her brother with wide eyes, which already looked like they were filling up with tears. He cursed himself for bringing it up so carelessly with Jinhee’s sweet, fragile heart. “What?” her voice was small and quiet, filled with many emotions Jinhwan hadn’t felt about this situation in a while.

“Dad has another kid, and a whole other family,” he shrugged, not being able to look Jinhee in the eyes.

“How do you know?” Jinhwan knew Jinhee didn’t want to believe it, she didn’t want to believe the man she looked up to could be anything like this.

“I found a picture of her in his wallet when he came to visit a few years ago,”

“A few years ago?” she questioned, her voice now angry. “You knew for years and you didn’t think to tell me? Not even all of those times when he left and I was upset about it?”

“I didn’t want to pile onto the hurt you were already feeling and every time he left I was hoping he would never come back!” he countered, looking up to see his sister’s angry face. The one he had only seen during the times that they were fighting when they were younger.

“Get out,” she said, her voice dangerously quiet and low. “I don’t want to see you right now.”

Jinhwan just sighed, knowing he needed to let his sister calm down. He got up from the bed and made his way to the door before turning around to look at his sister one last time.

“By the way,” he started, seeing his sister's teary eyes meet his. “Dad’s other kid is Della, the one from Blue Moon.”

He didn’t wait to see her response, knowing she was going to be even more mad that it was someone that they knew over. He let himself out of the room, giving her all the time she needed. He knew her and he knew she would call by tomorrow anyway.

[imaginesebastian]

TLC

A/N: I wrote this over the span of...forever. Sorry it’s taken me so long to get something to you guys. This goes with a slow burn request and a smut request sooo 18+ my darlings!!:)

Warnings: Smut and cussing 

Weddings. 

Your distaste for them had grown since graduating college. With every friend that got pregnant or hitched, you pushed yourself further into a hole of self-loathing and doubt. 

Unfortunately, this is one particular wedding that you had to be at. Your best friend stood at the alter with a small tear running down his face. You couldn’t help but scoff, he was marrying a woman after meeting her 8 months ago. Something about him knowing that they were soul mates or some other bullshit that you didn’t believe. 

“Jesus christ. . .” you muttered under your breath as the wedding march began playing. You put on a smile, standing up and turning back to look at the woman in a traditional white dress. Her hair was curled perfectly and cascaded down her back in a waterfall. She was perfect, it was no wonder that Bucky was so into her. 

When she reached the front of the alter, Bucky sighed with content. “Hi James.” You heard her whisper. 

God. . . nobody calls him James. Who the fuck does she think she is?

“Hi Jess.” He responded, his smile just as wide as hers. The crowd laughed, Bucky leaning back and fanning his face as he looked over her in the dress. You rolled your eyes. 

“We are gathered here today. . .” and here was the part where your brain shut off. You looked anxiously at your hands, playing with the ring on your thumb while you felt the pit of your stomach drop. 

He looked at her with so much. . . comfort. Like she was her home. You couldn’t help but think back to when at one point you hoped that he looked at you like that one day. 

It was pathetic. Of course you were in love with your best friend, what kind of cliche are you? He wanted you to be one of her bridesmaids, he said he wanted you to be a part of the wedding but you had to politely decline. The hurt in his eyes made you nauseous, but you didn’t necessarily get along with Jess. It’s not like you could fake it until you made it in this scenario. 

Of course you didn’t start off the friendship with an attraction to him. It only started when he called you darlin’. Or when he stayed at your apartment one night while you showed him every one of your favorite video games from Mario Bros. all the way to The Last of Us. 

His admiration for modern technology left a childlike wonder on his face for what was to come. His metal arm was the closest thing he had experienced to “super advanced” until he saw the graphics on the PS4. He would tell you stories about the 30s and 40s, and with every word you couldn’t help but fall a little more in love with him. 

You wanted to tell him, but you kept putting it off and putting it off until eventually he found a girlfriend. As wrong as it was, you hoped every night that they wouldn’t last. That he was meant for you. Surprised was an understatement when he told you of their engagement. “She proposed to me. . . how weird is that?” 

“And does anyone have an objections to this union?” The priest spoke with a light chuckle laced in his words. You struggled to stop yourself from standing up, from yelling at her while Bucky watched, from running up there and throwing yourself on him, confessing your undying love for him. Life doesn’t work like that though. 

“Okay, James and Jessica. I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the priest grinned, “you may kiss the bride!” 

You looked away, swallowing while meeting eyes with Steve. He gave you a small empathetic look while you shook your head. You could feel your eyes prick with tears but you didn’t want to give anything away. 

The music played again and they walked down the isle hand in hand. Finally, you were able to walk away. You covered your shoulders and walked towards your car, opening the door and sitting in it. 

You debated turning on your car and driving away. You debated never speaking to Bucky again, starting a new life and wishing him the best in life. You couldn’t throw away your friendship though. 

A sigh left your lip while you wiped away the one tear that managed to slip out. Soon, you heard a knock on your window. 

“Hey darlin’,” Bucky stood on the other side of the slightly fogged glass, causing you to panic and wipe your face of any tears. You put on a smile and opened the car door, “Hey Bucky! That was some ceremony, huh?” 

“Yeah, yeah! It was gorgeous, better than I could have imagined.” 

An awkward smile fell on your lips and you looked away with a cough. “Hey, so as much as I would like to stay, I’m not feeling very well so the celebration aspect is gonna have to be saved for another time.” You attempted to grin but you couldn’t quite muster up the energy. 

“Awh,” his face dropped, “but how can I celebrate if I don’t have my best friend with me?” 

“You’ll get there.” You sent a wink his way, before you got into your car and started it, leaving Bucky there with an astonished look on his face as you pulled out of the church parking lot. 

Five years had never gone by so quick. 

“Alright Mrs. Willems, we’ll have that ready for you by tomorrow. Thank you so much for your order!” You talked happily into the phone, writing down a cake order and pinning it to the cork board in the back of your bakery. 

After the wedding, you decided it was probably best for you to move on. As much as it hurt to end the friendship, it was better for the both of you. you couldn’t go on in pain. 

It took a lot of blood, sweat, and tears but finally you were able to open your dream bakery. Amazingly enough, the business was booming, and you’ve even taken up catering. 

The New York Tribune named it the greatest bakery on the south side of NYC. You’ve had a few Food Network shows feature you and the business started growing. 

As the night closed off, you began counting the till and cleaning. You told the night crew to head home, they’ve been working really hard and you wanted to reward them. 

“130, 140, 150. . .” It was in the middle of counting the till that you heard a small knock on the door. You looked up and moved the glasses on your nose away from your face, walking towards the lock. 

“Hi, I’m so sorry we’re clo-” you looked up and met eyes with a tall, blue-eyed beauty who you hadn’t seen in quite a while. 

“Bucky?” 

“Hey. . . I saw your face in the newspaper.” 

You swallowed your nausea, not knowing what to do. “I- uhm. . .” 

He smiled, something you wished you could have woken up to every morning for the past five years, “I knew you would be able to do it someday.” 

Your hands started to shake and before you could stop, you found yourself opening the door wider and making room for the super soldier to enter the small bakery. He inhaled through his nose, the smells of freshly baked cakes and breads filling his senses. He remembered you playing around with recipes all those years ago, and it wasn’t until he saw your face again that he realized just how much he had been missing you. 

“Yeah,” you exhaled, “it took a lot of work.” 

His back was still turned to you as he spoke, “Yeah, but you still did it.” 

You studied the curve of his back, and how he had somehow become even more muscular than you remembered. His hair no longer rested above his shoulders, instead it was cut much like the 30s haircut you remember from the photographs. The ends curled at the top, your breath almost catching in your throat. 

“Is there anything I can help you with?” You questioned, pushing your hair behind your ear while you stepped from foot to foot awkwardly. 

“Yeah. . . I was wondering if you could make a cake from me.” 

Your chest heaved, “Well usually I’ll tell someone to come back during our operating hours, but I’ll make an exception.” You walked behind the counter and pulled out an order form, leaning forward and taking a pen out of your apron. 

“So, what’ll it be Mr. Barnes?” 

“A vanilla cake, decorated with blue and pink frosting,” of course it was a gender reveal cake. You almost scoffed but you held in your annoyance for a moment, you had done plenty of gender reveal cakes before, “Ah, Jess is pregnant! How exciting. Okay, and the filling? Will it be blue or pink?”  

“What? No, no,” Bucky leaned on the other side of the counter, “Strawberry filling, and across the top I want the words, ‘Happy Divorce Day, Cheater!’ Written in black.”

You looked up, your brows furrowed immediately, “You two are getting a divorce?” 

Bucky nodded, his bottom lip being drug in between his teeth, “She, uh, she slept with her co-worker. Has been since before we even got married apparently,” a chuckle left his mouth, “she hates strawberry filling.”

“Oh my god. . . I’m so sorry.” You knew that bitch didn’t know what the fuck she had. Of course she’d fuck it up with Bucky, and she’s gonna hate herself for the rest of her life.

“You know, I always knew that something was off, but I was so blinded by infatuation that I ignored all the red flags.” He spoke, almost as if this isn’t the first time in five years that you two had spoken. Like you never had left in the first place. 

At this point you put the pen down, clasping your hands together in front of you and listening intently. “I don’t think I ever really loved her. I lost five years of my life on her.” 

You nodded, mostly in agreement but you had hoped he took it as a note that you were listening. He paused, his eyes meeting yours for a split second. You loved him. You knew that for sure. 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I can’t imagine that.” 

“Yeah, well you know. . . Life goes on.” Bucky grinned, “I’m 100 years old and 5 years doesn’t seem that long at the moment.” 

You smiled back, the first time you had smiled sincerely since he had arrived. “How about you and I go back and make this cake right now.” You suggested, motioning for him to hop over the counter and follow you to the back where the giant mixer sat, cleaned and untouched. 

“Okay, you grab the-” a screech left your mouth as you felt arms around your waist, “Bucky, wait!” 

“(Y/N),” he sat you down on top of the counter, “I didn’t come here for a cake. I came here to ask me something.” 

You smiled, “and what would that be, Mr. Barnes?” 

“Did you like me back then? Ya know, more than a friend?” Bucky said, his arms on either side of your thighs. 

You laughed off your shocked cough, “Bucky what are we, 12?” 

“Answer the question, darlin’.” 

You looked away from his eyes, “I loved you. More than anything else in the world.” 

“Loved?” he questioned. 

“Love.” You sighed in defeat, your cheeks turning red. 

“I’ve always loved you too. I was dumb and stupid for marrying her. I thought you’d never love me and I thought the only thing I could have possibly done was move on.” Bucky lifted your chin up to meet his eyes and softly and slowly, pressed a kiss to your lips. 

Your body froze, almost as if you couldn’t believe what was happening. Without thinking, your hands found themselves at his shoulders, your palms touching his prominent collar bones as your skin burned against his. With one quick motion, you pushed him away. 

Bucky stepped back, shocked as if he didn’t expect that to happen. He wiped his mouth, the expression on his face made you nauseous with guilt. You knew it had to be done though. 

Your blood burned in your veins, you could feel your ears heating up while you took a deep breath, “Did you really think that you could come here out of the blue and do that?” you hopped off of the counter, “because in all honesty, that shit hurt more than it did help. You think I want to be your rebound girl?”

The shock from Bucky’s face was replaced with furrowed brows, “Reboun- what the hell are you talking about? You’re not a rebound?” 

“You came here after filing for divorce! What do you want? Do you want sex? Because I’m not here just for that.” 

Bucky’s mouth fell agape, “What kind of a man do you think I am?” his voice was much louder than before, “Do YOU think it was nice of you to leave me? Ignore my phone calls and emails, for five fucking years? Our friendship ended, with nothing being said to me! I was oblivious! It took Steve three years to tell me you were in love with me and I had assumed at that point you moved on! So tell me, again, why the fuck you think what you did was okay? I was a mess!” 

The nausea became stronger, “I-” 

“No! I’m not going to give you time to explain yourself, I love you too! Did I ever think the feelings were reciprocated? No! Because you did such a good job at not letting a single fucking person know what goes on inside your head,” he poked my forehead, “I thought I knew what was happening, so I moved on. Is that somehow my fault because you never told me you loved me?” 

“Bucky-” 

“So I come here, yes after five years, professing my love for you and what am I met with? Anger?” Bucky paused, as if he was waiting for a response. 

You swallowed, “I didn’t know how to work with my feelings so I figured I’d let them be. Leave you to be happy with your new life.” 

“Jesus christ, (Y/N), let me kiss you! Please!” Bucky almost cried, his eyes watering with frustration while you struggled internally with things you had masked away behind the facade of happiness for so many years. 

You were the one who tried so hard to forget. You knew it was impossible, but pushing your feelings down was the only way that you knew how to cope with the impossible task of forgetting Bucky Barnes. 

Slowly, you took a step towards him and pressed a small kiss on top of his quivering lips. You expected a lack luster response, for Bucky to smile and pull away. However, quickly his hands pulled you closer and he inhaled your scent as if it was the last time he was ever going to see you. 

You couldn’t breath, but you didn’t care. You were finally in Bucky’s arms and this was something you wanted for so many years. 

He lifted you back onto the table and your hands came to his cheeks, your thumb stroking his cheek bone delicately as his tongue slipped its way into your mouth. Before you could process what was happening, he laid you down on your back and hopped onto the table, straddling your thighs and slipping his shirt off of his body. 

“Bucky this is unsanitar-” 

“(Y/N), shut the fuck up.” He whispered, a grin on his face while his lips met yours once again. It didn’t take long for you to melt back into his touch, his hips grinding on yours. 

“Fuck, I’ve wanted this for so long baby. You wouldn’t believe it.” His hardening member pressed into your thigh and you could feel yourself becoming more and more wet by the second. 

Suddenly you felt like your chest was being crushed, you pushed Bucky off and stood up from the table. “I- I need a bed.” 

Bucky’s chest heaved, “What?” 

You grabbed his arm and lead up towards your upstairs apartment, “Fuck me, on a bed.” 

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” 

You walked up the stairs and felt Bucky’s hands on you the whole time. It didn’t take long for you to start throwing off your clothes and rush to the bedroom. 

Before Bucky could take off his boxers, he took a moment to look over your body. You could feel the sense of euphoria he had, his tears were long gone and were replaced with sweat, and love. 

In a second he was back on top of you, ripping off your panties and kissing his way down your body. A moan left your mouth as his lips wrapped around each nipple, his hand rubbing his finger on your clit. Of course he knew exactly where it was. 

His lips continued trailing down, turning up into a smile as he finally met your heat. 

You couldn’t help but let a more primal moan bubble from your throat. There was nothing hotter than seeing Bucky’s face buried in between your legs. Your hands gripped his hair and pulled, resulting in an even bigger moan from him. 

“I have wanted to taste you,” he took a breath, kissing your thigh, “since I first laid eyes on you.” 

“Then keep doing it.” You motioned for him to continue as you could feel yourself becoming so close. He bit his lip before inserting a finger into your sex, curling it upward while using his tongue to skillfully flick your clit. 

Before you knew it, you felt heat rise up from core and your legs shook from around Bucky’s head. “Ah, fuck!” You yelled, crying out Bucky’s name and grinding your hips harshly. 

Bucky didn’t give you much time to recover, pressing his cock against your sex before inserting it slowly. So slowly it was almost painful. 

Bucky didn’t move for a second, instead soaking in the absolute pleasure that the two of you were receiving after years of repression. His chest collapsed on top of yours, kissing you and biting your lip between his teeth. His hips finally started to move, but he stayed low and as close to you as he possibly could. 

Your nails dug harshly into his back and he thrust into you, the speed picking up. His icy blues bore into yours before his lips kissed your neck.

Way too soon, you felt heat build up in your core again. You tightened around him, pushing him over the edge. He fell on the bed beside you, grabbing you close and holding you tightly as you both came down from a long awaited high. 

“I think, that was the greatest sex I have ever had in my entire life.” Bucky stated, his face red. 

“Ah, not so much stamina for the super soldier, aye?” You teased, noticing how out of breath he was. 

“I’ve never felt anything like that before. I had to hold on from cumming while I was eating you out.” He praised, kissing your forehead. You blushed, never really one to be open about these sorts of things. 

“There’s more where that came from.” You whispered, leaning up and kissing his lips. 

Maybe these last five years were exactly what the two of you needed. Some time apart lead both of you to realize your feelings for each other and inevitably, fate would have you two together. 

Sometimes, all love needs is a little time. 

[the-desolated-quill]

Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2019

Congratulations! You’ve made it through another year! You’ve faced many obstacles and overcome many adversaries to arrive here, at the dawn of a new decade. So as we prepare to leave the 2010s and make our way into the 2020s, lets take a look back at the challenges and hardships of 2019. And by challenges and hardships, I of course mean shitty fiction and media.

Yes, it’s time for yet another edition of Quill’s Swill, where we mark the absolute worst stories that the industry had to offer over the past year and proceed to tear them to shreds. Think of it as like voiding your bowels before the New Year.

As always remember that this is my personal, subjective opinion. If you happen to like any of the things on this list, that’s fine. More power to you. Go make your own list. Also bear in mind I haven’t seen everything 2019 has to offer due to various other commitments. So as much as I really, really want to, I can’t put Avengers Endgame on here. I know what happens. It sounds fucking terrible, but I haven’t seen the film, so it wouldn’t be fair of me to put it on the list, even though it would most definitely deserve it.

...

Seriously, read the synopsis of Endgame on Wikipedia some time. It’s like fanfic written by a nine year old. It’s truly shocking. And now it’s the highest grossing movie of all time? Give me strength.

All In A Row

Don’t you just hate it when you’re expected to parent your autistic child? Like actually show love and care and consideration to your offspring. Look at him, expecting you to treat him like a human being. Selfish bastard! If only there was a play that explored the horrors of having to be a decent person to your own flesh and blood and how objectively awful it is. If you’re one of those people, then the play All In A Row will be right up your street.

Premiering on the 14th February at Southwark Playhouse in London, All In A Row was a total shitshow to say the least. The playwright, Alex Oates, claimed to have ten years of experience working with autistic children, which you wouldn’t have believed if you saw the play as the autistic child at the centre of the play, Lawrence, seemed more like a wild animal than a person. In fact two of the main characters compare him to a dog. And if you thought this wasn’t dehumanising enough, Lawrence isn’t even a child. He’s a puppet. Yes, it’s as bad as it sounds.

All In A Row seems to place all of the blame for the family’s predicament on the autistic child, who’s presented as barely functional, bordering on bestial. There’s no effort to really make an emotional connection with Lawrence (how can you? He’s a puppet!) as the play instead focuses on how this kid has effectively ruined this family’s life because of his autism and aggressive behaviour. Speaking as someone on the autism spectrum, I can say quite confidently that this play is fucking despicable. Badly written, badly conceived, insulting and downright mean spirited. I wouldn’t want Oates looking after my autistic children, that’s for damn sure.

Anthem

EA is back and this time they’re dragging the critical darling that is BioWare down with them.

Anthem was a desperate attempt to jump aboard the ‘live service’ bandwagon, trying to replicate the success of other video games like Overwatch, Destiny and Warframe. They failed spectacularly. The game itself had more bugs than A Bug’s Life, loot drops were often stingy and unrewarding, loading times were farcically long, and the story and worldbuilding was fucking pitiful. Oh yeah, and if you played it on PS4, there was a good chance it could permanently damage it. Thankfully I have a uni friend with an Xbox One and they allowed me to play the game on that. It was a crushing disappointment, especially coming fresh off the heels of Mass Effect Andromeda, which didn’t exactly set the world on fire back in 2017.

It didn’t help that EA’s reputation was in tatters thanks to the lootbox controversy of Star Wars Battlefront II and having to try and win back the trust of fans, but worse still reports began to service of what went on behind the scenes at BioWare during the game’s development. Apparently the game’s story and mechanics kept changing every other day as the creative directors and writers didn’t have the faintest idea what kind of game they wanted to make, and the developers were often forced to work obscenely long work hours in abusive crunch periods to get the game finished for launch. It got so bad that, according to an article on Kotaku, some members of the team had to leave for weeks or even months at a time to recover from ‘stress casualties.’ 

To think this was the same company that gave us Mass Effect, Dragon Age and Knights Of The Old Republic. Thank God that Obsidian Entertainment is there to pick up the slack on the RPG front because I think it’s safe to assume that BioWare won’t be around for much longer at this rate.

The Lion King (2019 remake)

Here we go. Yet another live action remake of a Disney classic. Excpet it’s not live action, is it? Well... it’s live action in the sense that Dinosaur was live action (remember that film? Don’t worry if you don’t. No one does). Real locations but CGI characters. Millions of dollars spent on cutting edge tech to create photo realistic animals... and the film ends up duller than a bowl of porridge that really likes trainspotting.

It’s not just the fact that The Lion King remake is yet another soulless cash grab from the House of Mouse, it’s also the fact that it’s done really badly that upsets me. The Lion King works as an animated film. Bright colourful images, over the top song and dance sequences and vibrant character designs. As a ‘live action’ film, it just looks awkward and stilted. None of the animals are very expressive, leaving it up to the poor voice actors to carry the film, and to cap it all off the CGI isn’t even all that convincing in my opinion. At no point did I look at Simba and go ‘oh yeah, he looks like a real lion.’ It’s so obviously fake. In fact it reminds me of those early 00s movies like Cats & Dogs or Stuart Little where you see the jaws of the talking animals moving up and down like some messed up ventriloquist act or something. And here’s me thinking cinema has evolved past this.

BBC’s The War Of The Worlds

Remember Peter Harness? That guy who wrote that Doctor Who episode about the moon being an egg? Yeah, he’s back and he’s doing an adaptation of H.G. Wells’ War Of The Worlds. And guess what! It’s fucking ghastly! :D

The three part BBC mini-series was without a doubt some of the worst telly I think I’ve ever seen. It’s staggering how clueless Harness is as a writer. For starters he managed to achieve the impossible and somehow made a Martian invasion of Earth boring. I didn’t even think it was possible, but somehow he pulled it off. Then he sucks all tension out of the story by revealing the ultimate fate of the Martians at the beginning of the second episode, so now any threat or danger has been chucked out of the window because we know that the main female protagonist Amy at least would survive. And then finally he takes a massive dump over the source material by having humanity weaponise typhoid to kill the red weed rather than just having the Martians die of the common cold like in the book. Because God forbid us Brits should be presented as anything other than heroic and dignified.

So what we’re left with is a poorly realised allegory with ineffectual horror tropes full of OTT progressive posturing in a pathetic attempt to make Harness and the BBC look more liberal than they actually are. There’s no effort to really explore the themes of imperialism and colonialism outside of casual lip service, and we barely get a glimpse of the dark side of humanity. Everyone is presented as flawed, but basically awesome or, in the case of Rafe Spall’s character, utterly gormless. Our TV license fees help fund this shit, you know?!

And if you think this was bad, just wait till New Year’s Day where we’ll get to see Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss’ butcher Dracula. Can we stop giving these beloved literary icons to these hacks please?

Glass

I liked Split. It wasn’t an amazing movie, but it was entertaining with some good ideas, a great performance from James McAvoy and was a true return to form for M Night Shyamalan. That being said, I wasn’t keen on the idea of it taking place in the same universe as Unbreakable. I feared it would be a step too far and we’d end up having something like... well, something like Glass.

On paper, Glass isn’t a bad idea. The idea of superpowers being a delusion is legitimately intriguing and could have been a great post-modern deconstruction of the superhero genre. Except Shyamalan never actually does anything with it. The first act drags on and on with absolutely nothing happening, none of the characters really grow or change over the course of the film, Bruce Willis in particular is basically only here for an extended cameo as his character does pretty much nothing for the majority of the film, and then the entire film is undermined by that stupid Shyamalan twist. Turns out superhumans are real and there’s a big cover up. Oh great! So not only does it render the entire film pointless, it also undoes what made Unbreakable and Split so good. They’re no longer people capable of extraordinary feats via rational means. They’re just superhuman. They can do anything. Sigh.

Shyamalan... maybe it’s time to give up the director’s chair, yeah?

Cats

Oh come on! Don’t act surprised! Did you honestly think I wouldn’t put Cats on this list?!

Cats, without a doubt, is the worst film of the decade and, yes, the CGI is terrible. Not only are there these sub-human cat mutants running around, we also have mice and cockroaches with child faces, James Corden coughing up furballs, Taylor Swift trying to give the furries in the audience boners, Idris Elba looking disturbingly underdressed and Rebel Wilson being... well... Rebel Wilson. It’s a disaster of a film. And really, should we even be surprised? We all knew this was going to suck. And no it’s not because of the CGI. I thought the CGI in Pokemon: Detective Pikachu was creepy as well, but at least it had a decent script and good performances to back it up. No the reason why Cats sucked is because... it’s Cats. It’s always been that bad. No amount of ‘advanced fur technology’ was going to change that. It was still going to be a confused, plotless mess with one dimensional characters and bad songs.

The only consolation I had was that I didn’t waste money buying a ticket. A friend of mine snuck me into the premiere and we watched it in the projector room. The plan was to make fun of it and have a laugh, but we didn’t even do that because honestly there’s nothing to really make fun. There’s only so many times you can take the piss out of the CGI and honestly the film was just boring more than anything else. It doesn’t even have the distinction of being so bad it’s good like Sharknado or Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. It’s just bad, period.

I just hope we don’t see something similar happen to Starlight Express. Just think. Anthropomorphic, singing trains on roller skates. Shudder.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker

Finally we have yet another cynical cash grab from Disney.

I confess I didn’t exactly go into The Rise Of Skywalker with an open mind. I was never all that keen on a sequel trilogy in the first place, and neither The Force Awakens nor The Last Jedi ever convinced me otherwise. Admittedly they weren’t bad movies. Just derivative and painfully uninspired, and I was expecting more of the same for Episode IX. What I got instead was quite possibly the worst Star Wars film since Attack Of The Clones. Yes, it’s that bad.

This film is very poorly made, filled with plot contrivances and logic holes galore. I lost count of the number of times the protagonists got into a dangerous situation because of Rey constantly wandering off like a confused toddler lost in a shopping mall. Oh and we finally find out who her parents were and it was quite a twist, but only because it was really stupid. Of course we didn’t see it coming because nobody would have guessed it would be something that moronic. I feel JJ Abrams’ stupid ‘mystery box’ philosophy is to blame for this. It’s derailed countless franchises before such as Lost and Cloverfield, and now Abrams has fucked up Star Wars because he’s obsessed with mystery for the sake of mystery and Disney are so lazy that they couldn’t be bothered to plan an actual trilogy out properly beforehand. Instead they just wing it, making it up as they go along, which led to Rian Johnson ‘subverting our expectations’ and left Abrams desperately trying to pick up the pieces. 

In fact a lot of The Rise Of Skywalker seemed designed specifically to appease people of both sides of the wide chasm The Last Jedi had created. The roles of characters of colour like Finn and Rose were significantly reduced, Poe and Finn don’t end up together because of homophobia, but we do see two women kiss in the background of one two second shot that could easily be cut out when they release the film in China, Kylo Ren gets his stupid redemption even though he hasn’t fucking earned it, Lando Calrissian shows up for no fucking reason, Rey is given ‘flaws’ relating to her parentage in order to combat those accusing her of being a Mary Sue, but they’re the boring kind of flaws that don’t have any real impact on her character, and that ghastly ship Reylo is made canon even though it makes no sodding sense in the context of this movie, let alone the whole trilogy. They even go to the trouble of baiting us with a FinnRey romance before pulling the rug out from under us. Then, just to add insult to injury, the film retroactively ends up making the entire original trilogy completely pointless. All because Disney wanted more dollars to put in their Scrooge McDuck money bin.

The Rise Of Skywalker, and indeed the entire sequel trilogy, should serve as a cautionary tale against the dangers of hype and nostalgia. The reason The Force Awakens was successful wasn’t because it was a good movie (because lets be brutally honest here, it really fucking wasn’t). It was because it gave gullible Star Wars fans warm fuzzies because it reminded them of A New Hope whilst tempting them with the vague promise that things might get more interesting later on. And when that didn’t materialise, quelle surprise, the fanbase didn’t take it very well. I would love to think that this will serve as an important lesson for the future when people go and see Disney movies, but who am I kidding? I guarantee at some point we’re going to get Episodes X, XI and XII and we’ll have to go through this sorry process all over again.

So there we have it. The worst of 2019. May they rot forever in Satan’s rectum or wherever it is stories go to die. Tomorrow we’ll take a look at the other end of the spectrum. Yes it’s the Quill Seal Of Approval Awards! The best of the best! Who shall win? The suspense is killing me! Ooooh, I can’t wait! You’ll be there tomorrow, won’t you? Of course you will. How could you not?

[lilfellasblog]

Knight in Shining Armor - Roman’s 2019 Birthday Fic!

Summary: When Thomas has an allergic reaction, Virgil’s anxiety gets stuck on high-alert. Will he have to face it alone?Hello! Despite how the summary makes it sound, this is actually a fic for Roman Creativity Sander’s birthday! Happy birthday to the dramatic, passionate Side that inspires Thomas and keeps him going!

A/N: If you like this please reblog. It is the only way for this writing to reach a wider audience. Tumblr ate most of my fics that I know I posted here, which makes me very sad for a lot of reasons, one of the biggest being that the love and comments and tags that folks showed this fic is gone into the ether.

TW: Minor allergic reaction, anxiety, feeling of breathlessness that comes from anxiety. Let me know if I missed any!

Word Count: 1741

AO3 here!

Fic Masterlist here!

Earlier that morning, Thomas had woken up at his friend’s house after a bit too wild of a night. He had groaned and stretched, trying and failing to open his eyes past the searing headache, when he felt weight drop on his chest.

His eyes slammed open and he was face-to-face with a very fluffy cat.

“Oh my goodness!” Thomas cooed as he brought his hand up. He let the cat smell his hand, then started gently petting its head and neck. The cat was a light gray color with yellow eyes and a very poofy tail.

“Aren’t you such a good kitty?” Thomas gushed.

The cat laid down on him and stretched, accepting more head scritches. Thomas couldn’t stop himself from booping the cat’s nose, but he immediately went back to petting. Soon enough, however, his immune system had something to say. He barely got his arm over his nose and mouth in time for him to sneeze.

The cat was entirely nonplussed and simply looked at him as if to say, “Why did you stop petting me?”

Thomas gently picked up the cat and deposited it on the ground. He stood up, gripping his head, and made his way to the bathroom to get some water and ibuprofen in his system. Might have to see if they have benadryl, I can already feel my nose getting stuffy.

////

Virgil was panicking. Thomas had been exposed to a cat, right after he had woken up, for an extended period of time, and was already having his airways close. Logically, Virgil knew that Thomas probably wasn’t going to go into anaphylactic shock, but what if he did?!

Virgil was keeping a very close eye on his own breathing. He didn’t feel like his airway was obstructed or swollen, but he did feel like he had to focus on taking deep breathes or else his lungs would start burning. He tried his breathing exercises, to no avail. Virgil was relieved when the benadryl kicked in for Thomas and his symptoms disappeared fairly quickly, but Virgil still couldn’t get enough air. He felt like he was constantly yawning or deeply sighing. It just felt like he wasn’t getting oxygen into his lungs!

He knew that it was going to be difficult to act normally around the other Sides. Patton was the center of Thomas’ emotional intelligence, Logan was ridiculously smart and observant, and Roman was very sensitive to how others were acting around him. Resigned to suffering alone in his room for the rest of the day, he flopped on his bed and scrolled through Tumblr. He had days like this; where he’d feel like his lungs weren’t working properly and that he’d have to gulp air just to feel like he wasn’t out of breath. It usually dissipated by the next morning. Virgil knew it was his anxiety, but knowing that only helped so much. He wasn’t going to have a panic attack over thinking he had methemoglobinemia or was going into anaphylactic shock, but his brain was still telling him that he was dying.

Virgil tried focusing on the various memes and shitposts that made up his Tumblr feed, but he wasn’t enjoying it at all. He was thrumming with anxious energy. When 3 PM rolled around, Virgil was exhausted and miserable. He wanted his anxiety to just fucking stop, to let him be a neurotypical person who could cure their sadness by walking outside or whatever shit, but no, his neurotransmitters decided that their role was to make his existence miserable. Was it so much to ask to just be able to breathe and have a normal day?!

Virgil threw his phone on the bed in frustration and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes. He heard excited knocking coming from his door.

“Virgil, my Chemically Imbalanced Romance! May I request thy presence for a quest?”

Virgil took a deep breath in through his nose.

“Sorry Princey, I’m not feeling too hot today. Maybe another time.”

There was silence at his door, and Virgil was relieved and sad that Roman had left.

“A new quest then! Perhaps I can interest you in a distraction?”

Virgil considered that. He wasn’t getting much better laying here in his room, but he could barely catch his breath as it was! How could he last during one of Princey’s quests?!

Virgil let out a groan. “Fine, but only if you promise there’s little to no physical activity.”

“I swear it.” Roman said way too solemnly. Virgil huffed a silent laugh to himself. Roman’s extra dial is stuck at 300%.

Virgil got himself up, made sure he had his phone and headphones, and opened the door. Roman was looking at him as though he didn’t expect Virgil to actually come out.

“Virgil, my dark knight! How may I be of service to you?”

Virgil shuffled. “I don’t know.” he mumbled. He really didn’t know how Roman could help him.

“That’s quite alright! I’m sure I can… imagine something.” Roman said with an excited smile and waggle of his brows.

“Did you just make a Patton joke?”

“Why yes I did!”

“Not very creative.”

Roman let out an offended Princey noise and Virgil snorted. Roman led the way to his room, not touching Virgil. He had learned that when Virgil’s anxiety was acting up, touch didn’t feel very good for him.

Roman opened the massive doors to his room and Virgil noticed that it was slightly darker than usual. The only light came from candles, fairy lights, and a sunset in the Imagination that was shining through the window.

“We could play Scrabble, we could watch movies, I even have a PS4 set up in here!”

Virgil bobbed his head as he looked around. He needed a distraction, so,

“Scrabble?”

Roman swept his arm to the fireplace (that has GOT to be a fire hazard) and directed Virgil to one of the armchairs. Unlike the other armchairs, it was black with silver metal accents, as opposed to the red chairs with gold and brown accents. That little detail almost made Virgil tear up.

Almost. He had a reputation to maintain dammit.

Roman grabbed two mugs of jasmine tea seemingly from out of nowhere and set one in front of Virgil, along with a plate of finger sandwiches. They played several rounds of Scrabble, with Virgil winning the first one by a narrow margin and Roman winning the second by an equally narrow margin. They got about halfway through the third game before Virgil decided to try eating some of the finger sandwiches. They were good. Virgil ate enough so he wasn’t hungry anymore but no more than that. He didn’t want another lecture from Patton about ruining his appetite. Although to be fair, this was probably healthier than Cheetos dipped in cream cheese, right?

Virgil irritatingly brushed his fringe out of his eyes for approximately the 70th time that minute and huffed in annoyance.

“Would you like the assistance of an expert hairstylist fair maiden?”

Virgil saw excitement barely being held at bay in the royal’s eyes. His skin didn’t feel so uncomfortable anymore, and he could use some help…

“Sure.”

“Wonderful! Come into my bathroom, I have everything we’ll need in there.”

Virgil threw one more finger sandwich into his mouth, chugged the rest of his tea, and followed the royal.

Roman’s bathroom was an amalgamation of every bathroom Thomas had seen in his life that made him think “Oh pretty!”. Walking past a clawfoot bathtub that was in the exact center of the bathroom for whatever reason Virgil was sat down in a chair facing a vanity. The mirror was lined in lightbulbs.

Fit for a star.

Roman tousled Virgil’s hair, staring at it in concentration. After running his hands through it a few more times, he went to his vanity.

“Your hair has enough grease in it to make hairspray not as effective, and we really don’t have a good hair type for hair gel. I was thinking of putting some dry shampoo in and adding hairspray?”

Virgil shrugged. “Whatever you think will work best.”

“Excellent! I shall begin right away.”

Virgil let his mind drift a bit as Roman fussed over his hair. Roman had personalized his room just for Virgil’s sake and put his whole heart into doing whatever it was Virgil wanted to do. All because Virgil was being a useless puddle of anxiety on his bed and decided he couldn’t breathe and avoided the others. He had even made sure Virgil was hydrated and had something to eat, and Virgil hadn’t even gone on the quest Roman wanted to go on, and-

“Done! What do you think?”

Virgil tore himself away from his thoughts and looked in the mirror. It… looked good. For only using dry shampoo and hairspray, it was damn impressive. It had some volume and stayed out of his eyes, but was still draping down enough to keep the emo vibe alive.

Roman was chewing on his lip and staring at Virgil in the mirror with wide eyes.

“Thanks Ro. I really like it. It’s really good.”

Roman’s smile lit up the entire room and Virgil swore it got a few degrees warmer.

“I’m very glad you like it Virgil! My skills are unmatched!” he declared with a flourish.

Virgil chuckled as they heard knocking on Roman’s door.

“Kiddos! Dinner!”

Virgil and Roman began to shuffle out of his room when Virgil realized something: he could breathe again.

He felt a lump in his throat beginning to form against his wishes. Roman heard Virgil stop walking and turned around. Upon seeing the expression on Virgil’s face, his brows knitted together.

“Virgil? Is something the matter?”

Virgil laughed wetly. “No Princey, I just… thank you.” he breathed out.

Roman smiled. “Of course. It is my pleasure to help you Virgil.” he paused, looking slightly hesitant. “Would you like a hug?”

Virgil nodded and walked into Roman’s waiting arms. Roman held him tightly, showing the strength hidden beneath the prince uniform, but not too tightly. He had his face buried in Virgil hair and was breathing in the scent of hairspray and dry shampoo. After a good 30-second hug, they separated. Virgil was looking down and blushing slightly and Roman was smiling, a blush also covering his cheekbones, but instead of embarrassment in his eyes there were stars.

“L-let’s go to supper.” Virgil muttered.

“Very well. Let’s.”

[sazorak]

Every Game I Played in 2019, Ranked

 2019 sure was a year that happened where I happened to play some video games. Here’s the ones I played enough to form opinions, in a rough ranked order of preference.

It’s kind of weird that I’ve done this for five years now, but hey. I like to talk about things that I like / dislike. Hopefully you’ll empathize with my complaints, and give ones I enjoyed a try.

As a bonus, I also tweeted about the anime I watched and enjoyed this year.

2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018

Orm & Cheep: Narrow Squeaks – 1985 – ZX Spectrum – ★

How far would you go for a joke? For the sake of a joke, I spent an hour beating an incomprehensible, shitty ZX Spectrum Game about Orm & Cheep, an 80s British children show I only know about from a Trash Night video making fun of it.

Orm & Cheep: Birthday Party – 1985 – ZX Spectrum – ★

… and also this one, though Birthday Party is marginally better than Narrow Squeaks. Marginally. Extremely marginally. Congratulations to Orm & Cheap: Birthday Party.

16. River City Girls – 2019 – Switch – ★★★

The style of River City Girls is great. I like a lot of what it’s doing in terms of look and sound. It’s just that… well, River City Ransom’s gameplay was interesting something-like 30 years ago. Gameplay wise, this game hasn’t evolved that much from OG RC Ransom. The combat certainly feels better, but as far as it controls… I can’t tell if it’s not taking advantage of modern controllers and just sticking too close to the original’s control scheme, or if side-scrolling beat-em-ups are themselves just so staid and dated these days that there’s not much to be done. I just wasn’t having much fun, and the RC Ransom progression of new techniques and stat boosting didn’t exactly make me want to keep going.

It’s a real shame because in terms of pure aesthetics and concept, the game is amazing. I just don’t actually enjoy playing it. Oh well!

15. Baba is You – 2019 – Switch – ★★★

The core gameplay concept of Baba is You is fantastic. The way you manipulate nouns and verbs to construct phrases that operate as equations in a physical environment is super interesting. The early goings of the game were quite fun.

The problem I have with this game is that when you hit a wall in it, that wall can sometimes be impenetrable. I found that Baba is You is at times too subtle with its attempt to “teach” you tricks or onboard you into approaches to puzzles; it’s possible to come to solutions without taking away the lesson the designer intended, which can make later puzzles basically impossible.

The difficulty curve feels all over the place; I was extremely high on this game early on, but after getting completely blocked moving forward for hours on end, with the only real recourse being to either look stuff up or stare at past puzzles to try to figure out what apparently crucial lesson I missed despite coming to my own solutions, I ultimately decided to just do something else.

14. Cadence of Hyrule – 2019 – Switch – ★★★

Zelda has great music. Crypt of the Necrodancer has pretty good rhythm-game action. Combine them, and you get… well, it turns out you get a pretty OK procedurally generated Zelda-game with Necrodancer mechanics, I suppose. The appeal is easy to understand, though I’m personally not sure I care much for the final product.

I enjoyed the original Necrodancer well enough as a simple run-based, short-ish rhythm dungeon crawler. The brevity of each given “run” (stemming in part from my own inadequate skill, I suppose) worked well with the style of gameplay, in that it never really became much of a chore.

Meanwhile, I enjoy Zelda as an extended puzzle adventure game where there’s an innate unthinking flow to the actions. I’m not typically thinking much about the moment-to-moment about the actual mechanics of the action; the brain’s desires flow directly to the motion on the screen, as it were.

Combining the two results in a Necrodancer experience that’s way too long, and a Zelda experience that is way harder to control. Add the fact that the procedurally generated world isn’t that interesting and I’m just rather lukewarm on this. Meh!

13. Super Robot Wars T – 2019 – PS4 – ★★★

It’s fantastic that Super Robot Wars is finally getting proper, high-quality localizations again. It felt like a dream to finally be able to play this franchise again after being forced to stop after the DS era. Playing through the rather roughly translated, and somewhat monotonous SRW OG: Moon Dwellers was good because the OG games tended to have the highest production values and narrative quality (missing out on 2nd OG may have also helped). SRW V was my first foray into the more recent non-OG games, and so shined as something rather fresh to me.

Two years on, and two Super Robot Wars releases later, it’s plain to see that Super Robot Wars’ current annual release cadence is not great. It results in incredibly repetitive, monotonous games that rely heavily on asset reuse— both between games, and even within the same game. Part of the problem is that the derivativeness doesn’t feel additive. It’s not like SRW T is SRW V + SRW X + New Stuff; it’s more that SRW T is a reskinned SRW V, with some heavy series-asset reuse to boot. I think it’d be a bit more tolerable if it felt like these games were building on each other, but every single one feels exactly as slight and mechanically weak.

Super Robot Wars’ combat have not been particularly good from a tactical sense for a long time now. The original OG games were probably the last time the combat was particularly interesting for me, as it presented an actual challenge and difficulty curve. Nowadays, they are entirely fanservice cakewalks, even on the hardest modes. Hell, they’ve apparently decided that increasing the difficulty of the game means you don’t get to chase the special challenge goals, which actually can paradoxically make portions of the hard-mode actually easier than the normal. Bizarre!

 I guess the idea is “well, folks are playing this to see the bits, so if it’s hard they won’t!” Which… I disagree? If the gameplay is deeply unsatisfying, why wouldn’t I just watch the damn series? Crossover shenanigans don’t mean much whey you don’t do much with it. Fanservice talking heads ain’t enough!

The addition of Cowboy Bebop and the return of GaoGaiGar and Gunbuster should have had me onboard. The series list for this game is fantastic. But what they do with it is so flat that about 30 chapters in, I just… stopped. It wasn’t worth it. I’d plainly seen all that it had to offer. Easy, slow, and repetitive gameplay isn’t appealing to me, even if I do get to see Spike Spiegel doing sky donuts to take out a Zaku.

Additionally: stop putting Nadesico in these games. The units are boring, the plot is boring. Stop devoting so much time to it! It sucks!!

12. Ape Out – 2019 – Switch – ★★★★

Ape Out is a game where you’re a big ol’ gorilla murdering guys with guns while dope ass percussive jazz drums play to the action. It’s cool, it’s short, it could honestly probably do with being somewhat shorter, but whatever. I enjoyed it.

BattleTech – 2018 – Steam – ★★★★

Despite being famously a “mecha guy”, BattleTech has never really been my thing. While I’m not opposed to mecha-as-tank-analog, it’s not my primary focus in the genre; I like my robots to be fast, really. I like mecha getting into melee and fucking shit up. Mecha for me is a power fantasy. That’s not really BattleTech / MechWarrior’s thing. That all being said, I quite enjoyed my time with BattleTech, the PC-game rendition of the tabletop thing. It’s a neat turn-based tactical robot combat RPG with an interesting overarching campaign structure… to a point.

The first issue I had is pacing. While the game is turn-based, the combat and movement plays out in real-time. And given how lumbering these robots are, this means that a single mission can take aaaages. Think 45 minutes to an hour for a single mission. It took me about 20-30 hours to get to the campaign’s halfway point, which is when the game really started to sour on me.

The second issue is one of variance. Let me run you through the fundamental loop of the game. You are a mercenary captain that has a ship of mechs and mech pilots, and you fly around from planet to planet taking on jobs. You need money to pay for your ship to keep going, as well as to pay your pilots. It’s expensive to outfit your mechs, and severe damage to them can both REALLY eat into your budget and also take weeks in-game to repair. Missions are rated based on difficulty, and you are expected generally to field a greater “tonnage” of mechs in excess to that difficulty. This all plays out pretty well.

The game starts with you possessing mostly lighter mechs, and as you progress, you’re presented more and more missions in the campaign that require increasingly beefier mechs with more armor and more guns. Whereas in the tabletop game there’s presumably a kind of “point” system by which players are given a limited amount of tonnage that they can field on any given mission (for purposes of balance), there’s no such limit in the game; as such, you’re encouraged to field the four-ish beefiest robots you have, as they’re the most likely to kill everything fast while coming out with the least damage.

How do you get these beefy mechs? Well, you don’t buy them; instead, you’re aiming to kill opposing pilots and leave their robots as much intact as possible so that you can salvage or steal them. It’s kind of amusing; your entire gameplan after a point becomes “how the fuck do I shake this robot around a bunch such that its pilot dies???” It makes sense in practice, but if you think about it for even a second it comes across rather silly. Given you need good mechs to progress, you don’t have much other choice other than just running tonnnsss of missions and hoping you eventually get enough mech fragments to reconstruct some of your own. But beefy-ness isn’t the whole story, as some of the robots you can get just plain suck, regardless of their tonnage. You’re basically rolling dice again and again hoping a robot worthy of stealing shows up so you can kill its friends, and try to kill its pilot as gently as possible. You go through this cycle four times, across the four different weight-classes, until you’ve got what you need in terms of a team of class-appropriate mechs.

The fundamental lack of variety in what you field combines with every single mission really being “how do I kneecap everyone” instead of the given mission objective to make the game quite samey. Mission types don’t vary much, and the environments don’t constrain you all that much, either; the only ones that are particularly interesting are moons and Mars-like planets where your mechs’ ability to regulate their heat become much more constrained, which can necessitate loadout changes.  

I enjoyed the story enough for what it was, but honestly? After 30 hours, I was pretty much good. I had a good time with BattleTech, but I’d had my fill.

Mortal Kombat X – 2015 – Steam – ★★★★

In my ongoing adventure of playing the Mortal Kombat games for their goofy plot / story modes and nothing else, I played Mortal Kombat X. I’m not sure there’s much to talk about these other than “Hey I enjoy their dumb ongoing narrative; I wonder where they’ll go from here!”

11. Mortal Kombat XI – 2019 – Steam – ★★★★

Ditto. The plot for these games are getting sillier and sillier, and the ending of XI may be the most ridiculous yet. In a good way.

10. Devil May Cry V – 2019 – Steam – ★★★★

Character action games are heavily predicated on the question of “How do we spice the game up over time so that it stays interesting… without overwhelming the player?” Devil May Cry V’s answer is “well, we’ll slowly give them more characters with their own expanding skill sets, that’ll be neat!”

It is neat, but I’m not sure it was actually a good idea. The three protagonists all have extremely different move sets, meaning that the forced switches between them on a chapter-to-chapter basis results in you never really mastering any one of them. Each character has a ton of depth, but… take, for example, Nero, the “main” protagonist. He has a sub-mechanic involved with revving his motorcycle sword to boost damage. I never actually figured out how to get to work. Never really had to, because he had so many other mechanics that were also effective, and I never had much time with him alone to dial in the weird motorcycle thing.

DMCV also does probably my least favorite gameplay gimmick of “introduce new mechanics in a boss battle!” Like great, you gave me a whole new move set here, and are now going to rate me on my performance when you’ve never given me a chance to learn these skills? Oh wait, you’re giving me new mechanics in the final boss battle!?! Fuck off. That sucks!

Also, I think I’m an outlier, but I actually preferred playing as V, the control-three-characters-at-once-while-reading-a-book guy. Just felt like I dialed his move set in easier. Weird.

9. Untitled Goose Game – 2019 – Switch – ★★★★

I’m not going to pretend that this is a deep game, or an enduring game, or even necessarily a great game. But I had a lot of fun with it, I have a lot of good memories thinking about it, and I am glad that so many people out there are now wrestling with the fact that birds can be both terrible and also good. Untitled Goose Game carries a powerful message about avian kind. You would do well to learn from it.

8. Super Mario Maker 2 – 2019 – Switch – ★★★★

Mario Maker 2 is such an incremental upgrade to Mario Maker that it hardly feels like it earns that “2”. That being said: Mario Maker 1 is pretty darn good so it’s not like that’s all that bad. The additional mechanics and story mode are good, granted, but like… I had been wanting more than just Mario Maker 1.5.

As is, it was pretty easy to get bored with Mario Maker pretty quickly, given it was mostly a game I’d already played quite a bit before. The addition of the campaign held my interest for a fair amount of time, but I’m not exactly coming back to this all that often. Hopefully the content updates they seem to be rolling into it keep up.

7. Kind Worlds: Lo-Fi Beats to Write To – 2019 – Steam – ★★★★

This is less a video game and more a sort of vague pen-pal application masquerading as a game, but man… the existence of this thing is neat. It’s just a program where folks write letters about their problems, and people send them stuff back. That’s it.  It’s kind of a sweet thing to just exist.

I’m not a person with what would one term especially Heavy Problems, but just going through other folks letters and giving them an encouraging word is itself nice.

6. The Outer Worlds – 2019 – Epic Game Store – ★★★★

Having been deeply disappointed with the quality of Fallout 4, I was very happy to see Obsidian come back to do their own Fallout-a-like. The Outer Worlds isn’t perfect; I wish it had a bit more of a bite, the gunplay was… fine, the environment design was kind of dull, and the gameplay loop did not outlast the length of the game itself. But I had a fun enough time with it.

That said, I think the dearth of me having much to say here sort of speaks to how… rather unambitious the writing and design ended up being. There’s not a ton to say about it. It’s more responsive than a Fallout 4, to be sure, but even that caps out at a point. It doesn’t necessarily offer much in the way of RPG-style different “paths” to develop your character in terms of who they are or how they behave, beyond the sort-of four-way axis of “grouch to nice” and “corporatist to socialist.” The skill tree ends up being pretty flat, and you can basically become a master of everything by the end.

Shruggo.

5. Pokémon Sword – 2019 – Switch – ★★★★

Pokémon Sword/Shield is a bizarre thing— its design is constantly fighting against itself. There are tons of ease-of-use improvements– but it somehow has some of the worst online in the series. It gives you dozens of complex, half-explained systems— but also feels the need to hold your hand lest you get lost in its incredibly linear, dull story. It adds challenging Pokémon raid battles that you largely need to team up with other players to beat— but also has one of the most trivial progressions in the series. It has a huge and varied open “Wild Area” where you can catch hundreds of Pokémon before ever facing the first gym— but that wild area largely exists as a world unto its own separate from the traditional Pokémon “routes”. It doesn’t want to have a plot up until the very end when it decides that gee, I guess we have to, even if it makes no sense.

Let’s go into these in more detail.

Sword/Shield introduces a ton of gameplay improvements. Auto-saving, while problematic in places, is super useful. The ability to move Pokémon directly from the box to your party is great, and removes a lot of process headaches. Single hand controls are a godsend for both improved accessibility and general ease of use. Items are way easier to get, Pokemon are easier to raise, and this is probably the easiest game in the entire series to breed and raise “high tier” Pokemon for online battling.

On the other hand: despite your friend list being loaded into the game, you are forced to use a bizarre password system and request system that is super confusing and prone to issues. You cannot directly trade or battle or play with friends except through this, which occasionally results in headaches anytime someone uses the same four-digit password as you and your bud. The Max Raid battle system is super poorly explained in-game in terms of how you find and join others raids— I only divined it by a tweet someone made. They did away with the “GTS” trading system they had used for the past decade that allowed global Pokemon bartering, presumably in favor of encouraging more natural trades— but didn’t give any way to actually communicate with people in game what you want to trade for. It encourages more in-person interaction, but that’s once again playing into Game Freak’s obsession with the Japanese mode of gaming.

Sword/Shield perhaps has the most sheer amount of systems in any one of these games. It’s not necessarily all good, but in terms of “wow, you’re not babying us huh” it is at least interesting. There’s Pokemon that evolve based on absurd, never-explained conditions like “number of crits in a single battle”, “pass underneath this specific rock when they’re at low health”, “spin baby spin.” The wild area has tons of mechanical stuff that they let you explore without forcing your hand much, and they let you explore it freely without really railroading you. There’s a separate wild-area specific currency system based on raids / dens that you just stumble upon unprompted, really.

On the other hand, the core story progression of the game though… is perhaps the most infuriatingly patronizing thing I’ve experienced. Cutscenes happen every 15 seconds, often-times forcing your movement, and are almost of zero consequence beyond someone going HEY YOU SHOULD GO THAT WAY. The game is completely unwilling to let you get lost when going through the story. It’s constant, it’s unrelenting, it’s maddening. It literally made me mad.

Pokémon Raid battles are super interesting. The battles themselves aren’t necessarily hard, but the kinds of things they present— in terms of providing access to unique Pokémon, rare items, and the fact that they’re not as “rinse-and-repeat” as normal battles— gives the system and game increased longevity. It’s a pretty deep system, with meaningful rewards. A five-star battle is time consuming and you run the risk of failing, but if you pull it off you can get items like TRs, EXP candies, even bottle caps (super useful items that let you increase the baseline stat “DNA” of your Pokémon), and the captured Pokémon can have unique moves you’d normally have to breed and possess extremely high baseline stats. You can even get hidden secret abilities! Nice!

On the other hand: the core game progression is so piss easy and straight forward. The game’s leveling curve is all out of whack, in part because their introduction of a forced “always on” EXP share. In older games, you’d only get EXP from actively battling and beating a Pokemon in a fight, or having participated in a fight. Now, your whole team gets EXP just from being around, and you also get EXP from catching Pokemon, making curry, and all sorts of other small activities. All of this is fine or even good in the abstract as it makes raising stuff easier, but the game isn’t well balanced around it. Encounters don’t scale, which can result in you steamrolling the game if you engage with any of the game’s other systems prior to beating the game. I had to compensate by stretching my normal party of six into a party of 10, constantly swapping members out to keep the average level across the party down. Additionally, the only non-PVP reason to train and breed pokes, the Battle Tower, is so trivially easy this time that… why bother??

The wild area system is brilliant. A big criticism I’ve had with this series in the past is that the kinds of Pokemon any given player is bound to encounter and capture tend to be pretty similar. The limited amount of Pokemon that tend to be put on a traditional Pokemon route, and the limited means you have to encounter them (“hey I walk through the grass, we’ll see what pops up”) doesn’t trend towards players ending up with very different party compositions, just because there’s not a ton of options at any given point. The wild area completely tosses that out the window. As an open space, the types of things someone encounters will vary wildly— and it’s further varied by player-specific weather conditions that dynamically change the encounter tables. It completely opens up the kinds of Pokemon one can encounter early on, presenting hundreds of appropriately leveled options for players. It’s brilliant. The intermixing of both grass-only, overworld-visible, and raid-specific Pokemon also increases the range of encounters. It’s the accomplishment of the core Pokemon concept of “explore and find everything.” Finally.

On the other hand: the wild area is actually kind of boring to explore, visually speaking. It’s basically the Ocarina of Time field with sporadic patches of grass. There’s little actually diversity or mechanics to its exploration, especially when compared to the fact that… the game still has normal routes. They still behave as they always have, except that by the total remove of “Hidden Machine” mobility moves, the ability to explore geographically has been severely hampered. There’s no “gee, I can’t get there yet, guess I’ll have to come back later” except for a single mobility mechanic (the ability to go over the water, introduced very late in the game). It makes revisiting past areas mostly a box-checking exercise, and in general feels like an odd juxtaposition. They either should went all-in on the wild area or better merged the concepts together, because as is it feels… weird. Especially because the wild area could have done with being bigger and more diverse looking.

The game spends most of its time having no story at all, which is kind of boring. Juxtaposed with the railroading stuff where there’s still constant cutscenes with their mostly mediocre characters who don’t do all that much, it almost comes across as padding than anything. There are good characters (Piers and Marnie are the best, the gym leaders in general are good) but man do they try too hard to put Leon over.

But then at the end they introduce the story super quickly and it’s very dumb in a way that made me laugh out loud so congrats I guess.

All in all, I rather liked Sword/Shield. It’s no Sun/Moon— which innovated in tons of places and had an extremely charming story, cast, and progression— but the places that it innovates, and the ease-of-use improvements that they’ve put in the game, are great improvements to the baseline formula. While it’s caused a ton of drama online, the Pokédex and Pokémon Bank stuff are not huge impacts on my personal enjoyment of the game. It kind of stinks a bit, but the overall package is still quite good and fun. 

 The Legend of the Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Master Mode – 2017 – Switch – ★★★★★

Breath of the Wild was my favorite game the year it was released. The harder Master Mode is something that had interested me as something to check out for a replay, but I decided to wait until the shadow of my previous playthrough loomed somewhat less. Breath of the Wild is, after all, both a monumental game and also a monumentally large game. Going back to it for Master Mode would mean (by way of my own obsessive brain) 100%ing it all over again, which is extremely time consuming, even if I don’t go after the all the Koroks.

There was also this sort of reticence in my behind to confront the creeping suspicion I’ve had in my mind that some of the DLC additions have made the core game worse. Which, I would say… is probably somewhat the case. Certain DLC gear items extremely imbalance standard play and really fuck with the exploration of the game (specifically, Majora’s Mask basically making you not have to fight multiple enemy types). Still, I knew I could ignore those, and just focus down on the core experience of Master Mode: harder enemies, regenerating enemy health, and the introduction of floating platforms.

Turns out, BOTW is still fucking amazing, and while the additions Master Mode make aren’t essential, they do make for a fun second run of a fantastic game. The harder enemies make the early parts of that game WAY HARDER (making you really have to get good at using your bombs and stealth), and while that difficulty ramp doesn’t keep up throughout (which, honestly, the platforms are somewhat to blame as they make getting certain bits of higher-level loot earlier easier), it’s still just a great game to go back to.

Breath of the Wild remains my all-time favorite game. Hyped for BOTW2.

4. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice – 2019 – Steam – ★★★★★

Sekiro is in a sense the purest expression of the Souls formula. Stripped away of the jolly co-op, the PVP, the stats, the equipment, and most customization to speak of, Sekiro asks the simple question: can you do this? Can you learn all the systems in this quite challenging game, and engage with it on its own terms?

In its mechanical simplicity, I found Sekiro to be my favorite game of that lineage, as it has allowed them to really polish the gameplay by its singular focus. It just feels amazing to stealth around and backstab dudes, parry everything, and triumph in nail-biting sword duels. While you do gain new skills and equipment (in the form of the ninja tools), they are just supplementing the fundamental systems of the game, rather than acting as diverging ones. So really, most of your time is spent not learning wholly new methods of combat, but instead improving your mastery of the core one.

And the feel of mastering that combat is incredible. By the end you feel unstoppable; normal enemies that would have been challenges early on are nothing. Even a lot of the bosses become trivial as-time goes on, bar the few ‘mastery test’ bosses interleaved throughout the progression. This isn’t some “hey I got more EXP and now over-level for everything!” thing, either; this is me, the human holding the controller getting skilled enough to become a Sekiro master. It’s an amazing feeling.

I beat every single boss in the game, including the hidden ones, and enjoyed the hell out of it.

3. Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night – 2019 – Steam – ★★★★★

I’m very much on the record as being a huge IGAvania partisan. I fuckin’ love the core loop of that permutation of the Metroidvania formula. Koji Igarashi no longer being able to make Castlevanias hurt me. A lot. Over a decade of time spanned between the last IGAvania game, Order of Ecclesia, and the release of Bloodstained. I was a bit worried.

Thank god Bloodstained is really, really, really good.

Bloodstained is extremely “one of those.” You move about a 2D interconnected world, collect items and abilities until you find the stuff that let you move forward in a new area. It’s kind of an eclectic hybrid of IGA’s past titles. The castle design feels very Aria of Sorrow. The shard mechanics feel close to Aria/Dawn of Sorrow’s soul system. The weapons feel very Symphony of the Night meets Portrait of Ruin. The overall mechanics of movement feel most akin to Order of Ecclesia. All in all: a good mix.

The game is massive. There’s so many weird one-off mechanics (something I appreciate), bizarre callbacks, goofs. There’s an in-depth alchemy system (mostly used for cooking, which is funny). The shard system is a bit boring in places— some shards are extremely simple and forgettable mechanically— but the shard leveling system is kind of hilarious in how broken it can become. The familiar system from SOTN is back and has been essentially perfected by making it a dedicated slot so you can just hang with a fairy or sword pal.

I wish the game had more enemy diversity, and the story left something to be desired. Many shards just aren’t very interesting. But the game is just so dang fun. The core gameplay loop is just so compelling, and the game just feels so dang good. I’m glad they took all the time to polish the gameplay feel because hooooooooooo boy.

Looking forward to those DLC characters for some additional playthroughs.

2. Outer Wilds – 2019 – Epic Game Store – ★★★★★

“Space exploration”, “cosmology”, “archeology”, and “sociology.” While these are certainly not the only fields that dominate much of my attention, they are some big ones. The Outer Wilds is a space exploration game where you explore the structure of a strange but exquisitely constructed solar system, and dig through the remains of a mysterious vanished alien species. Also, you’re stuck in a Majora’s Mask-like apocalyptic time loop ‘cuz the sun keeps exploding. Should probably find out why that’s happening.

I went into this game completely blind, entirely based on the way Austin Walker was raving about it on twitter. Austin’s interests in heady space shit is pretty similar to my own, and turns out? Worked out quite well for me. I blindly explored this solar system for about twenty hours over the course of a couple weeks, and came away from the experience misty eyed at the ending. Outer Wilds is fantastic.

It’s a surprisingly touching and cozy for a game that mostly about you going off into space on your own, all alone. And that’s because you’re not, really. Outer Wilds is less about the science of exploration and archeology and the meaning of it, why it matters even in the darkest moments. Why do we explore? Why does science matter, divorced from the parasite of industry and markets? What value does it give to us, to future generations?

The game is built on the notion that even as we individually wander, explore, and discover, we’re all together collectively building on something that may outlive us, even outlive our species, the pursuit of a collective knowledge that transcends personal enrichment and individual accomplishments.

You are but one a few alien explorers, each on their own adventure. As you adventure, you catch their signals as you cruise across space. The things you learn and do are further built on the relics and messages left behind by the Nomai, the species that came before. This sense of a personal and emotional connection in the act of discovery is the heart of this game. We’re not standing on the shoulders of giants; we’re holding hands with those before us and those after us to build a bridge to a future that we may not live to see.

It’s a positive message of hope in the face of oblivion. 

1. Fire Emblem: Three Houses – 2019 – Switch – ★★★★★

I’ve been really on-and-off on Fire Emblem over the years. I first got in on the franchise with Awakening, which I rather liked for its anime-ass sensibilities— though not without criticism. I found the combat kind of obnoxious in its tendency to get muddied down in the Oops You Done Fucked Up, Time To Reset junk. It was too anime-ass in some places, not the least of which being its incredibly one-note characters who had little bearing on ongoing events so as to support the permadeath system without too much wasted effort on the developers’ part. Fates, the follow-up on Awakening, only amped up these criticisms, becoming convoluted, stupid, and kind of obnoxious to play.

I had hopes that Three Houses would be an improvement. Initial impressions made it seem way more serious, way more grounded, with a lot of improved systems. Turns out: it was better than I could have dared of expected or hoped. Three Houses isn’t improvement, or even innovation; it’s a revolution.

Three Houses is great. It’s long, it’s got so many different systems going on that I hardly know where to begin with describing it, but… it’s great. It’s the platonic ideal of what I’d like out of a Fire Emblem. Things feel like they matter. The setting feels weighty, the plot is actually good, and the characters are absolutely marvelous.  

No, it’s not perfect— its handling of representation could DEFINITELY be better. Some of the narrative is hokey as hell in places. Certain routes seem to have gotten more attention than others. The class-based specialization systems could do with more depth such that so many characters don’t end up mostly identically specialized to each other.

But… I found the combat extremely enjoyable.  The charge-based rewind mechanic removed the feel-bad gotchas of unanticipated troop appearances and bad rolls etc. The characters are fun, and they’re kept relevant all the whole way through via creative framing of events. The ability to roam an actual physical space via the monastery made the world feel more alive, and made everything feel more real.

The writing was actually interesting and nuanced, exploring things like faith, race, social classes, feudal politics, and romance. While the three routes are largely similar, it’s interesting just how different the underlying messages of each of them ends up being. I appreciate that in this game where you otherwise spend most of your time hanging around with nobles in a church ends just short of you rolling out the guillotines by the end.

This is a tactical RPG in 2019 that I have put something like 150+ hours into, having beaten only two of the four routes. I was, and still am, deeply invested in everything that is. I’ll probably go back to the other two routes when the final DLC is out next year.

SAKURAI, PUT EDELGARD IN SMASH

[sergeanttpoliteness]

➹bruised knees➹ (peter parker x reader)

The one where you wish you had spent more time at the roller rink as a little kid, because you just so happen to be on a date with Peter Parker in a roller skating place and you can't exactly impress him with your extravagant arm movements as you try to keep your balance.

word count: 2.4k, short and sweet

a/n: hello @ whoever’s reading this! this my first time ever posting my writing here so i’m sort of nervous? it’s certainly not the last, tho, so feel free to help me out w ideas and send me requests if you want :) (more mcu pete, ps4 pete, itsv peter b. parker, miles morales, gwen, other mcu characters, don’t hold back!!) hope you enjoy !!

There were several things in your short life that you were proud of yourself for doing. Like how back in third grade, despite how complex subtractions were for you, you worked hard and were the only person to get an A in your math test. There’s also that time you won second place (and some tasty chocolates) in your science fair in middle school; and getting a good grade on your last physics exam, even if you procrastinated studying until the night before. Most importantly, though, you also made the fluffiest, most mouth-watering pancakes in the world (it wasn’t a proven fact, but still). What you couldn’t stop appreciating past you for, however, was mustering the courage two months ago during your chemistry class to approach the cute sweater-wearing boy called Peter.

Alright, that was a lie; you didn’t directly make the decision. Rather, you didn’t share that class with any of your friends and neither did he, so it wasn’t a surprise when you two were the last two people left without a partner to work with. But that wasn’t the tragedy of the year— far from it, actually. Every single chemistry lesson, your gaze never failed to take a stop on his pretty curls; brown like the chocolate you eat after a particularly terrible day. Peter was just like that: his serene posture, sat where the golden daylight lovingly showered over him, warmed your body and left a sweet and addicting taste behind. You didn’t even know him; he was nothing more than a magical reverie in your swirling head, yet he never failed to embarrassingly heat up your entire body and make your heart run the mile. Perhaps all that staring resulted in more studying at home, seeing as you barely paid attention to your teacher’s lectures, but that boy deserved all the admiring in the world and you’re glad to deliver just that. So when his eyes met yours from the other side of the class, you wasted no time in raising from your seat, your hands clammy and clenching closed as you walked toward him with determination.

Obviously, he agreed to be your partner. Or tried to, at least, for he couldn’t stop fumbling over his words. Throughout the whole period, his cheeks and ears were the shade of roses in valentines day, but it couldn’t mean anything, you thought. He did always sit in front of the window, after all; possibly the forceful sunlight was finally getting to him. He also accidentally spilled a substance all over your lab coat and shirt— thankfully, nothing toxic, and your upper half didn’t burst in flames. On the other hand, it left you smelling like a dead town during the Black Plague, and Peter hasn’t stopped apologizing for it ever since. You forgave him without a doubt; not purely because of your-slightly-too-big crush on him, but you undeniably had to when he lent you his sweater for his mistake, and that was when you knew you were a goner.

Regardless of that catastrophe, you two really got along. That was what drove you to confidently approach his table at lunch, ready to ask if you could sit with him and his friend. You may or may not have lost that confidence once his curious puppy eyes blinked up at you, leaving you frozen and muttering a long ‘uh’ as you rummaged your brain for the words you had practiced over and over again beforehand. Nevertheless, if you forget about that one part, you handled it like an absolute smooth legend and earned a daily seat with them.

Two months of blushing attacks, you and Peter staring at each other with bashful smiles, chemistry, and Ned rolling his eyes at the both of you for being so ridiculous have gone by; and for the third time, you were giving yourself a pep talk to ask Peter out on a date once and for all. The tables turned this time, though (thankfully), and one morning Peter pulled on his sweatshirt’s sleeves and bit his lip as he asked if you wanted to hang out with him.  

And that was the story of why you were here right now: tying the shoelaces of your heavy roller skates, and then grabbing onto the bench in great distress as you prepared to stand up. You panicked when Peter suggested going to a roller skating rink due to a small, somewhat important fact: you had no idea how to roller skate. The only time you’d ever done it was when you were five and your classmate invited you to her High School Musical themed roller skating birthday party— it ended with you skating (or, to be correct, stumbling) into the birthday girl, and her screaming as she held onto her broken ankle. Was it a silly trauma? Maybe; just like the time you showed up at kindergarten dressed as your favorite Disney character on the wrong day. But it certainly kept you away from ever practicing the activity again, which meant you had zero skill, and a hundred percent chance of turning out like the five-year-old birthday girl. However, you never confessed this fear to Peter. Because you’re dumb? Yes, indeed, but also because his eyes shimmered with excitement when he proposed the idea, and you really simply couldn’t bring yourself to shut him down. Instead, you marveled at him like you always did.

Peter swiftly rose to his feet, doing a suave spin in his roller skates perhaps to impress you; not that he would admit that to you, though. A wide precious smile spread across his face and he reached out his hands to you, offering his help. You accepted it, your fingers intertwining and spouting that glee within your chest that you repeatedly experienced whenever you touched; even if it was an accidental brush against your shoulder. “Ready?” He asked, squeezing your hands.

“Uh, yeah, of course,” You smirked, as if you hadn’t just been planning to twist your ankle so you wouldn’t make a fool out of yourself in front of the boy you liked. “I’m a freaking pro.” Why did I say that?!, you thought, wincing internally.

Peter was thankful the darkness and the dancing neon beam lights left you oblivious to his flustered face after you stumbled a little and your hand shot out to grab his shoulder, throwing yourself flush against his chest. Now you were hugging him like a koala, with your other linked hands squished between your bodies. You sheepishly smiled up at him, gently pushing yourself away from him. “Hah. Sorry, I’m just a little rusty. It has been like fifty years, y’know?” You lied, avoiding his gaze.

“Y-yeah, no, it’s alright. Let’s just take it slow,” He took a step back and moved further away from you, your hands still connected. You didn’t think twice (it really wasn’t that deep) before raising one foot to advance, but you instantly regretted that decision when your other foot slid backwards. Your feet skidded all over the place, until Peter grabbed your waist and steadied you. “Whoa! You sure you know how to roller skate?” He laughed.

“Just a little rusty!” You insisted again, and to prove that your lie was indeed true, you began to slide your feet. “See? I got it!”

You did not have it. Not at all— you looked ridiculous. Since you couldn’t lift your left foot without falling, you only picked up your right foot and it made it appear as if you were limping after someone kicked you in the shin. You accomplished to skate into the rink; however, it was possible that it was thanks to Peter, considering he didn’t let go of your hand in fear of you falling. The truth was that he also just wanted to hold and touch you.

A turtle could’ve been considered faster than the two of you at that moment; you kept your hand plastered against the wall, squealing each time Peter tried to pick up the pace. “I’ve got you, don’t worry,” He smiled reassuringly, but you stayed fixed in the same place, glaring down at your roller skates. “Y/N, we literally haven’t even moved an inch away from the entrance—

“No, not really, we moved like ten inches!” You grinned nervously, inhaling deeply. “Gimme a few seconds, okay? I’ve got it! I’m just preparing myse— oh my fucking God!” You screamed too dramatically when Peter stopped listening to you and began to glide forward. You held onto his sweater’s sleeve for dear life, not moving your legs at all; he was the one dragging you slowly. In your head, it was the most terrifying thing in the world, but then you looked up at Peter’s wrinkled eyes as he burst into laughter and, just for a second, you forgot about the deadly wooden floor beneath.

For some idiotic reason, the designer of the rink decided it would be a fantastic idea for the railing not to start until the wall all the way across from the entrance. Once you reached it, you launched yourself toward it, clutching the metal rail tightly, your skates bumping into the wall. Peter extended his hand again, and you gladfully took it, this time one hand on the railing whilst the other in his. It took about eight long minutes, but first, you released the railing and eventually, you released Peter too.

"You did it!" He cheered as he watched you carefully glide your feet, your palms facing forward to balance yourself. "Look at yourself, what a professional!"

You loved it, you had to admit, how proudly he beamed at you and applauded your below mediocre work; even as a five-year-old sped by you two, doing some Olympic-like tricks with recognizable grace. That was when you noticed the adoration in his gaze— that same infatuation laced in your eyes whenever you happily admired him during chemistry class; that same syrupy sweetness that engulfed your self just because of him. His face made you lose your balance, which wasn't a big deal, until you transformed it into one with your alarm. You flailed your arms wildly, staggering, and Peter reached out, ready to stabilize you. However, you managed to stop your fall.

You breathed out in relief at your victory, giggling. "I really just defeated death— ah!"

You immediately fell forward. Peter hissed at the painful sound of your knees smashing on the floor, quickly crouching down in front of you to see if you were okay.

"Ohh my God, are— are you okay?" He couldn't help the way his voice wavered as he tried to keep in his laughter. He didn't last a moment longer, though, a quiet laugh slipping through his lips. "You didn't defeat death after all, huh?" You rolled your eyes at him, but who were you kidding— you snorted, chuckling along with him.

"You really have the nerve to laugh at me. Just wait for the tables to turn once I see you fall on your ass." You playfully nudged his shoulder with your hand, yet gripped his own outstretched one to lift yourself. You advanced to continue skating, but stopped when Peter stayed put, smirking at you. "What?"

"I've got an idea," He said, smoothly sliding to stand in front of you with his back facing you. "You're not gonna get to enjoy if you're just worrying about falling, so hold onto my shoulders."

You lifted a brow, scoffing. "Wow, I can't believe you don't think I can do this on my own," You teased and shook your head, but did as he said nonetheless. He glanced back at you, telling you to prepare yourself and hold on tight, and then began moving at a normal pace. "If I fall on my face, then I swear to God—"

"Not gonna happen. Don't worry," He reassured, sliding his feet with ease. After doing one lap around the entire roller rink and you had the chance to become acquainted with the movement, he picked up his speed. "Tell me if you want to slow down, okay?"

You don't say a word, and soon you and Peter were dashing past the people, both howling in excitement and the muscles of your face aching from smiling so brightly. You watched the blurs of colors go by, similar to vehicles in a highway at night while the music blasted from the stereo and the breeze invaded you through your open window, embracing your cheeks with its icy fingertips. Peter occasionally grinned back at you; they were just short glances, but in that split second he got to see you, a heat blossomed within him just like a small and shy plant opening up to the soft daylight of the sun. That exact moment— the one he hoped would never come to end— he realized how deep he was in, and how content he was that it was you, and not someone else. 

On the other hand, that also was the moment a little girl accidentally hit the back of your roller skates and sent you down straight to the floor, bringing Peter down with you.

Yet again, you crashed your right knee and this time your elbow, too, against the hard surface. Peter tumbled on his back, almost underneath you. Of course, you groaned internally, of course we had to fall on top of each other. Can't miss that. You're sure you broke your knee as well and after a quick check, you saw that your elbow was bleeding.

But despite the pain and embarrassment, you two laid there wheezing— your hand on his vibrating chest and his hands on your shoulders. And it happened, just like always: your laughter stopped, and you both stared into each other's eyes with adoration, timid smiles adorning your faces. His smile vanished, replaced by wide, big nervous eyes. He sneaked his hand up your skin until it reached your cheek and it remained there, his thumb caressing you tenderly. He lifted himself up to his elbows, and without a word or a second to hesitate, he leaned forward—  a gentle, careful peck on your lips. He broke away. "I'm sorry," He whispered, "I probably should've asked, but you just looked s-so pretty and I didn't want to waste the moment—"

You collided your lips against his, kissing him deeply, your arms around his neck. He raised his other hand, cupping your face lovingly. And you're just there, on the ground, in a roller rink, with bruised knees, and creating quite the traffic. But you didn't mind at all; even if later you'd squirm with humiliation, even if your knees hurt so badly. Because you weren't going to break away from Peter, and neither was he.

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

Spiderio? o.o

oh, as in spider-man/mysterio? ok, here goes:

-

1.

DISCLAIMER: both peter and Quentin beck are adults in this au, from the first time they meet. they have a complicated relationship here, but nothing that is romantic/sexual. while this mysterio is definitely the one from the mcu, this fic's peter takes inspiration from his ps4 incarnation.

-

quentin beck doesn’t really notice the frazzled, bespectacled intern working on his Intuitive Projection Device (working title) team for a long time. for one thing, there are a lot of frazzled, bespectacled college students running around in his lab looking to snazz up their resumes and hopefully a job at stark industries, and for another, peter parker never really stands out. oh, sure, he’s smart–you didn’t study bio-engineering on a scholarship in empire state and land a spot on beck’s team without having some level of intelligence–but for the most part, he does what he’s told to without fuss and doesn’t really speak up much during team meetings. which, whatever. beck’s looking for people with ideas and bombast and, well, presence, so when parker’s internship ends, he’s off on his merry way. end of story.

except–

on the eve of his project’s big launch, tony stark takes over. says he’s going to do the honours. which–all right. beck was hoping to be a little more present while his life’s work was unveiled, but he knew what he was getting into by agreeing to work under someone like tony stark. he hands everything he has over to his boss.

tony renames his blood, sweat and tears Binary Augmented Retro-Framing device, or BARF, to an audience full of (ignorant, fucking ignorant!) laughing college students. uses it as a gimmicky side-show while unveiling some other completely different initiative, while beck stands backstage, staring, slack-jawed. there is not a single mention of the years it took to put together even a prototype of the thing, what it means to have a technology so intuitive that it’s the new cutting edge in biotech, the endless legal and ethical loopholes that beck had to circumvent to test the thing, the endless possibilities that it opens–

stark’s taken it all away. the project that consumed the last ten years of his life–gone. signed away to a fucking megalomaniac in a metal suit.

beck goes back to his empty apartment that night, numb, opens his liquor cabinet and goes to town. the next morning, drunk and blind with fury, he storms up to tony stark’s office to give him a piece of his mind. of course, he doesn’t actually make it anywhere near tony’s office; he’s thrown out on his ass by security before he can make it past the lobby. he’s fired by email later that day; told that they will press charges if he tries anything like he did that day again. 

beck doesn’t explode, contrary to stark’s claims of ‘instability’. he’s not giving tony the satisfaction of flaming out and fading away into obscurity. after all, he was the brains of the operation, and stark can’t take that away from him. he can focus on clowning around in that suit of his all he wants; beck’s going to come up with stuff that’ll blow his company fucking out of the water. all he needs is patience, and time, and–

a team.

he sends emails to everyone from his old team. only a few reply–and even they are reluctant to risk their jobs at stark industries to work with him. only one person replies positively and agrees to meet him.

the next day, quentin is sitting across from a nervous peter parker at a mcdonalds and he thinks: this is where it all begins.

2.

peter parker is… weird.

when he’s actually present, oh, he’s a fucking revelation: the kid has a knack for making something out of virtually nothing; he’s worked wonders on the few pieces of old tech that beck was able to wrangle by calling in favours with old acquaintances. he rambles and makes silly jokes, but there’s always something fresh and insightful to what he says. it’s like his mind is not just a few steps ahead of everybody else, but fucking doing somersaults on the ceiling. more than anything else, he believes: in the potential of beck’s work, the ways it could revolutionise any number of fields, how it could help people. he’s all beck could ever ask for in an assistant, in a partner, and he can scarcely believe this is the same man as that unassuming intern who worked for him so many years ago.

the kicker, though, is that peter parker isn’t often… present. he often comes in late or cancels altogether, citing one emergency or the other. there are several mornings when he stumbles in, utterly exhausted, hands closed around a jumbo-sized coffee like it’s his lifeline. for a long while, beck is willing to let it go: after all, peter’s pursuing his phd, working in another lab that actually pays him, and looking after his aunt. besides, he’s a twenty-something young man in new york city who’s handsome in a charming, dorkish sort of way–of course he’s going to have a social life. 

still… it’s worrying. he’s not sure he wants to sit peter down and talk about it  (that would be mortifying for both of them, beck thinks); he settles for working even harder to put a couple of projects together so that he can apply for funding and actually pay the kid like he deserves. in the meantime, he makes sure to buy peter a meal whenever he can, and if his insides wobble a little whenever peter beams at offers of a pizza night, beck will have you know that it means nothing, okay?

3. 

when beck discovers that peter’s spider-man, it’s an accident. 

he goes to the lab in the middle of the night to pick up his phone that he’d forgotten; peter cancelled on him again that day, and beck’s long, long rope is starting to fray. when he turns to leave, he hears a muffled thump. across the dark, cavernous room, spider-man–spider-man!–climbs through an open window and collapses in an ungraceful heap on the floor. beck stands stock-still as the hero groans and tugs at his mask–to reveal peter parker’s face, stark and pale in the moonlight spilling through the window.

for a long, seemingly interminable moment, beck holds his breath. 

in that moment, a lot of things start making sense.

spider-man–peter parker!–reaches one hand out, makes some sort of gesture, and a web shoots out of his wrist, snags a water bottle and brings it to his hand. peter tips his head back and chugs. he’s still not gotten up from the floor; there are rips in his suit, and beck thinks he can see blood–

no. no. he doesn’t want to see anymore. it feels weirdly intimate, and beck isn’t sure if he ever knew the first thing about peter parker after all. he closes his eyes, turns, and slips away quietly.

quentin beck doesn’t go back to his lab for two days, doesn’t answer calls or emails. peter is particularly persistent, even offering to visit his apartment, but beck puts that off with a terse, ‘no. i’m fine. call you later.’ he spends most of those two days staggering with the sheer magnitude of the secret that he’s just discovered–no wonder the asshole was always late! he was too busy swinging from buildings and taking down costumed supervillains!–and the betrayal, which overcomes him in waves. all the while beck was looking fondly on peter, even considering him a protege, he was doing something that beck had repeatedly spoken of with profound contempt. and peter even agreed with him several times! with a straight face! he’s nothing but a two-timing, manipulative sociopath, just like stark–

–oh dear god.

oh no no no no no. 

he’s seen spider-man help out stark and the avengers a few times, hasn’t he? he’s never been announced as an official avenger, but these costumed freaks all flock together often, yeah? was peter parker assigned to spy on beck? did stark put him up to it? he must’ve; stark probably didn’t like that beck was smarter, better, capable of so much more–and that he was all of this without having been handed an entire multi-million dollar company on a silver platter.

and yet–

all of peter’s wide-eyed sincerity, his belief, his passion–beck can’t have imagined all of that, right? there has to be at least a part of him that beck can–can still love–

god-fucking-dammit.

fine. if he can’t ever get away from these costumed weirdos, then he’s just going to do what he’s always done: work with what he’s got.

4.

the next time beck sees peter, it’s three weeks later and he says, “i know you’re spider-man.”

to peter’s credit, he looks surprised only for a fraction of a second; if beck wasn’t looking for it (if beck didn’t know peter as well as he did) he would’ve never noticed. 

peter laughs. “fine,” he says. “sure, and you’re iron man.”

beck hasn’t the time for games. “i saw you in costume, peter. i won’t lie and tell you that i wasn’t hurt that you’d hide that from me, but rest assured that i will keep your secret.”

peter’s face freezes in a half-smile, mouth slightly open, as if he’s just lined up his next joke to dismiss what beck said. suddenly, his smile disappears and he… deflates. “sorry,” he says, his gaze shifting to the ground. “i didn’t mean–it’s just–i try so hard to keep my day job and my… other job separate, you know? and i don’t want to put the people i love in even more danger than they already face by just living in a world where there’s an alien invasion every other week, so, i just. you know.”

beck firmly dismisses the way his heart flutters at people i love and says, “i know. and honestly? given what the world’s like these days? it’s great you’re out there doing what you do.”

peter gives him a tentative smile. “dr. beck, you know, i’m so glad you’re taking this so well–i came so close to telling you so many times because i felt so bad making up excuses for missing out on such exciting work, and–”

“but peter, you’re fired.”

“–if i’d known that–wait.” peter blinks once, deliberately. it’s almost comical. “what?”

“i said you’re fired, peter,” beck tells him pleasantly. “i appreciate everything you’ve done tremendously–and rest assured that you will get credit where credit is due–but going forward… this just won’t work out, pete.”

“what? no, no, no, wait.” peter leans forward. “i’ve–we’ve made it work so far, right? i’ll find time–i’ll cut back on… other things. dr. beck,” and now he has the audacity to grab beck’s hands, and beck thinks he’s going to rip apart at the seams from all the emotion that’s coursing through him right now, “what you’re doing is inspiring. it’s going to help so many people. please let me be a part of it.”

“you’re already helping people.” you’ve helped enough.

“dr. beck, ple–”

“come on now, peter, spider-man doesn’t beg!” beck looks away from peter’s pleading, desperate eyes. he needs to remember that these superhero types always love to put on a show. whether that’s stark, or pe–spider-man. “this doesn’t mean the end of our friendship, peter. i’ll see you around.”

he walks away before peter can say another word.

5.

beck collects more of stark industries’ rejects and malcontents for his team, but this time his pitch is different: if the world has moved on, if the only way to be important and beloved and heard is to fly around with a cape and lasers shooting out of your hands, then that is exactly what he’s fucking going to do. he focusses more on illusion technology, fashioning spectacles that will only ever be limited by his own imagination. it’s slow, arduous work, but–ironically–peter has already done most of the ground work, and it’s a matter of building from there.

peter tries calling him for the first few weeks after their last meeting; beck never answers. it takes longer than beck thought it would for him to stop trying. kid was always tenacious as hell.

then ultron happens. the u.n. blows up. then the sokovia accords.

the avengers split up, going for each other’s throats: iron man on one side, captain america on the other. beck’s a little relieved to see that spider-man isn’t on either side. 

the whole thing ends up going to hell, and a complete PR disaster for stark and co. there’s far less superhero activity after that, and stark’s operations shrink considerably–which honestly just means beck has more disgruntled, brilliant ex-employees to recruit to his cause. even spider-man goes completely underground.

(peter parker, though, is teaching at empire state. so beck is not too worried. yet.)

it’s the perfect time to debut mysterio.

6.

it always ends on a bridge, in the eye of a firestorm.

peter’s grip is inhumanly strong; beck can feel the bones in his wrist grind and pop. he drops the gun he was pointing at peter’s head and tries to twist away.

“we could’ve accomplished so much together.” peter looks angry, but he sounds… mournful.

beck tastes blood at the back of his throat. “we still can,” he gasps. “it’s not too late.”

peter doesn’t say no, and he clings to that even as darkness consumes him and he falls.

-

( send me an au and i will give you 5+ headcanons about it! )

[enigmaticjblake]

Best Video Games of the last decade

The last decade was sensational, a lot of stuff happened, there were dramatic changes all across, especially in videogames. Technological advancements in computer hardware pushed graphical limits and the visual fidelity in gaming kept evolving. Games got more immersive and believable.

The videogame industry saw major changes like the rise of digital gaming platforms such as Steam, Origin, Epic Games Store and so on.

Even the Consoles saw dramatic changes. The PS4 was a major player in the market but Steam on the other hand dominated the PC landscape. Epic Games Store also got a lot of attention.

Even VR stepped out of the shadows and major companies like Microsoft, Google, HTC, Samsung, Facebook and many others discovered the potential of the medium and embarked on the ultimate quest of making the best VR headset in the market. Even Sony made a VR headset for the PS4.

Technological advancements are fine but it is important for us to understand that Videogames cannot just solely depend on technology to be an immersive and unforgettable experience.

They have to have an engaging story, solid and balanced game play mechanics, immersive sound design, perfect balance between narrative and pacing and a few other major factors are what determine a good game and a great game. Ultimately they have to deliver an unforgettable experience.

So after all the trials and tribulations, a few games have emerged to show the world how powerful the medium can be.

So without any further ado, lets jump into the list of best games of the last decade.

  Read Dead Redemption 2

The critically acclaimed open world wild west adventure game comes straight from Rockstar Games, the same team that has made the GTA Series. RDR2 is considered as one of the most successful titles of the last decade as it gives you a vast sprawling open world with staggering amount of detail. This is one of the most detailed games of the decade, coming somewhere close the end of the current generation of consoles; it utilizes the fullest potential of modern day hardware and delivers a stunning dynamic open world experience like never before.

 CS:GO

Yes, you might be wondering why is CS:GO on this list, well it is there for a good reason. Not only this online classic tactical shooter still among the largest and most played games of all time, it is fun to play even in this age and day. CS:GO manages to bring back an old formula and still keeps it relevant at this age. Countless events and tournaments are centered around CS:GO. Back in the day CS was mod out of another legendary game which we will definitely discuss some day. CS single handedly showed the world what mods are capable of achieving and gave birth to the mod culture. There are quite many games which were mods of the past and apart from that, the game is still fun as hell and me and my friends still play it.

 Fortnite

Fortine has a very strange history, it was originally a defense game like minecraft where you build during the day and protect during the night but it wasn’t that successful. People had already seen the idea before, so when Battle Royale was gaining popularity, Fortnite decided to mix its defense formula with BR. The ratings for Fortnite just went off the charts and many people played it as it was released as a free to play title. It had a cosmetic market though which got Epic tons of revenue and that’s how Epic Games Store came into picture. So if a game can do so much for a company, you can definitely process the impact it had on the industry overall.

DOTA 2

Talk about mods again, DOTA was originally a genre defining mod of War Craft 3 but someone else saw its potential. DOTA was more of an underground thing, it was never so popular in the mainstream and very few knew a genre like MOBA even existed. It was around 2009 when I first saw DOTA in a cyber café where some young kids were playing it on LAN. At first, it looked like War Craft 3 but the mechanics were totally different. Soon I learnt it had a cult underground following and Valve made the smart move of acquiring the talent behind this mod and decided to make this thing into a fully blown sequel. DOTA 2 which pushed MOBA into the mainstream. Obviously there were others who joined the bandwagon of MOBA and tried to distinguish themselves. League of Legends is also another MOBA game which is popular but DOTA 2 is still considered as the king and despite of its age is still among the top played games on steam world wide. There are people who have played the game for a staggering 10000 hours and still find new and interesting things. It’s a game which is easy to learn but difficult to master.

Batman Arkham City

Batman needs no introduction, for those who do not know, Batman is a fully ripped grown man who wears Egyptian cotton underwear over a grey suit and is passionate about jumping from building to building during the night and saves the city from bad peeps. He is THE Superhero.

If you haven’t played any of the Batman games of the Arkham trilogy, stop reading this list right away and immediately go and play it! Its really good.

It is debatable which one of the trilogy is the best and its very difficult to make that choice. I personally like all the games but Arkham City is amazing for several reasons as it is an ultimate battle between Batman and Joker, the game goes open world and Gotham City is such well crafted. The Unreal Engine does a marvelous job of putting it all together and the game runs so well AND this is why I could not chose Arkham Knight over Arkham City. Arkham Knight is miles ahead of Arkham City but I made the ultimate mistake of playing it on the PC which was a bad experience. Infact the game was such a mess, Steam had to pull it off and give out refunds to the buyers. It was a great experience on consoles but this misstep was the sole reason why I did not chose it for this list.

BUT now the game has been patched extensively and is in good shape. So if you are a PC gamer and want to be like Batman, this has to be the Ultimate Batman Experience.

Bloodborne

Ever heard of souls like titles? These are considered to be difficult as combat in them is of a different nature. These are not your ordinary action games where you go in front of your enemy and start spamming attacks on them. Souls like titles have be played tactically, timing and accuracy are the name of the game. When to strike, when to dodge and parry are crucial for every encounter and even the most basic enemy can strike you down if you are not paying attention.

Bloodborne is an Action RPG title developed by From Software exclusively for the PS4, set in a dark Victorian world we are tasked to hunt down to take down perils of an odd strange world. Blood Bourne stands out for its unique art style, game play mechanics and an engaging narrative, atmospheric and immersive world design and ruthless difficulty. This game has a deep and interesting lore so a lot of content awaits.

Be warned, this game can crush your soul.

Neir Automata

Set in a dystopian cyberpunk future where sprawling urban scapes are retaken my mother nature, humanity is wiped out by what was considered as their best creation.

Take role of an enhanced cybernetic warrior who is deadly and beautiful at the same time and hack N slash your way through hoards of deadly AI constructs as you make your way to the answers of all the questions that surround the collapse of civilization.

The stunning art style, the graphics, the immersive world and level design blended with fast paced combat makes Neir Automata an unforgettable experience.

INSIDE

Inside is developed by Playdead, the same studio who made Limbo. Inside is a staggering achievement in the 2D side scroller category of games. You take role of an unknown kid who just appears in this strange dystopian world where society has changed. The world is hostile and humanity is engulfed into some kind of a strange social experiment where a few selected individuals of the upper echelon are on the verge of creating something far beyond anything we can possibly imagine.

Inside is ruthless, deadly and hostile but the art style, presentation, pacing and its subtle yet effective gameplay pulls out the unimaginable out of a genre that is so old. It redefines the side scroller genre.

Inside manages to pull you in right from the get go and as you play further, you are just lost in it.

Its depressing, dark, bold and ambitious.

Don’t miss this one out.

Horizon Zero Dawn

A PS4 exclusive developed by Guerrilla games, HZD is an open world action RPG where civilization has moved beyond its post apocalyptic phase and mankind has once again emerged out of the darkness of this cataclysmic event and is facing a whole new world.

Civilization is rebooted but is engraved on the remnants of a past civilization. It is still unknown what cause the wiping of the earlier race.

What is known are the strange metallic beasts which roam around the waste lands of earth.

Imagine fighting a giant robotic T-Rex with a bow and arrow.

That’s HZD in one line.

Metal Gear Solid 5

You wake up in a hospital one day and the doc informs you that you were in comma for 9 years, how will you feel?

Well, Snake doesn’t feel bad at all. Only few hours after waking up you are hunted down by an unknown mercenary group who simply wants you dead for reasons unknown and weird things happen that night. You still manage to make an escape, thanks to your buddy who was undercover as a patient and was protecting you all these years. Soon you embark into a Journey into the heart of Afghanistan to find the answers.

MGS5 is developed my Konami, this is when the legendary Hideo Kojima was part of the team.

MGS5 had a rough development cycle but it turned out to be a great game.

It’s a sandbox stealth action title where you can approach your target or objective anyhow you like or find it convenient. There is a lot of freedom in this game.

You can even hide in a cardboard box and turn it into a makeshift stealth device.

There is base building, you recruit captured soldiers and make them a part of your team.

It’s a damn fine game and the story sometimes just catches you by surprise.

Portal 2

Portal 2 is a first person puzzle platformer developed by Valve. These guys are magical, whatever they touch becomes gold. Portal 2 puts you in the shoes of a test subject who is a part of a scientific experiment where they are testing teleportation technology, you get hands on a portable teleportation device or simply put, a portal gun. It shoots portals of walls.

You solve puzzles by shooting portals and make use of physics. Stuff such as gravity, momentum, reflection and so on come into the picture. Thanks to the Source engine. The story is also engaging and characters are really deep and well written.

You teleport your way out of these test chambers only to discover all is not what it seems.

Portal 2 is definitely one of the finest games of this decade.

GTA 5

Seriously? Wondering why this is on the list. Go play it!

Elders Scroll 5 Skyrim

Its not everyday that you bump into a fellow adventurer who has stopped adventuring cause one fine day he took an arrow in his knee.

Skyrim is open world action RPG that is bold, ambitious and probably the best game made by Bethesda Game Studios.

Skyrim takes place in an enigmatic fantasy world which is engulfed in a political conflict and suddenly an old prophesied threat emerges and is bent on destroying the world.

You take role of an unknown traveler who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, but as events unfold. Turns out you are not an ordinary person, you are THE dragon born. The only thing that stands between the dragons and the destruction of Skyrim is you.

Skyrim has a lot of content, side quests and the story is deep. You can keep playing Skrym for hours and hours and get lost in a different dimension.

The last of Us

Naughty Dogs knows what it does. They are the masters of their craft when it comes to developing breathtaking narrative driven experiences. The sheer amount of attention to detail which was earlier observed in the Uncharted games successfully transcends into The Last Of Us.

Exclusive to the PS4, The Last Of Us puts you into the shoes of a man who has lost many things. The world has collapsed and strange mutants ravage the world. As the man of a family it is upto you to protect your loved ones from the perils of the new dangerous world.

The production quality of the game is what sets it apart. A dark and mature story backed by well choreographed cinematics, well acted characters and a blend of stealth horror action gameplay totally set this game apart from anything on this list.

You should get a PS4 only to play this game. Its that good!

Battlefield 1

This in my opinion is the best battlefield game in recent years, obviously there are other battlefield games and I was thinking of voting for BFBC2, this one won for many reasons.

BF1 is a fast paced action multiplayer experience with a solid punch of World War 1.

The originality and the attention to detail BF1 offers is insane, right from the vast deserts in the middle east to conquests in various parts of Europe, Dice has made the perfect formula for World War 1. Its frantic combat is better than ever, tweaking a few mechanics the game is now more enjoyable and fast paced. Its like the perfect spot between fast paced combat and quick general perception of reaction to things.

The game looks beautiful and environments, animations weapon and character models are so well detailed, they all scream authenticity.

64 vs 64 players never gets dull. Also EA was less greedy about this one, I still feel bad for the Star Wars Battlefront games.

Black Mesa

This one is not a game, it’s a mod but it has to be on the list because it’s a Half-Life fan remake on the source engine, if you are unaware of Half-Life, you are dead to me.

Black Mesa is a masterpiece and it totally reimagines the original Half-Life in a way just like Valve would have. Seeing new areas in Source Engine is a visual delight, its hard to believe Wwhat limits can be Source pushed to, considering its such an old engine. Valve was truly thinking long term when they made the source engine.

Basically Half-Life puts you into the shoes of the theoretical physicist who works at a the Black Mesa Research Facility. One day an experiment goes horribly wrong and you rip open a dimension into an alien world and now its upto you to fix things.

Half-Life 1 was revolutionary and helped defined the FPS genre. SO YOU HAVE TO PLAY THIS.

The Xen levels are out now and the game has left early access, so now is the perfect time to play this timeless masterpiece.

Crowbar Collective has done a neat job.

Overwatch

This one is my eyes is the true spiritual successor to Team Fortress 2. Made ground up by Blizzard, this one was a very different thing from them.

Overwatch borrows heavy inspiration from TF2 and manages to fuse it with MOBA perfectly.

On the surface I’ve seen many people complaining this is a TF2 ripoff and its rich dudes Paladin, tbh it is like Paladin but both games have different dynamics.TF2 is more of an old school class based shooter at this point and OW is more fast and streamlined.

The wide variety of characters in OW may seem unnecessary but believe me, each one of them is well made and balanced. Its like Blizzard has a secret recipe of game balance and it becomes very clear how important it is to nail that balance in this hybrid genre when you get your hands on similar titles who achieve this perfection.

The art style is spot on and meant to age well. The graphics will never go old, such is the art style.

Jump into a few games and you wont even realize how the hours pass.

Resident Evil 2

Later this decade a legendary face re-emerged from the mythical shadows of mystery. Resident Evil is Capcoms that comes into everyones mind when we speak of survival horror games, this was the title that created the genre back in the day.

The remake is very faithful to the original, it successfully captures the tense atmosphere and the struggle of managing resources while scavenging the same old corridors of Racoon City Police Station.

While graphics and other things are aligned with 2019 standards, what is more surprising is the fact that the game is so perfectly transferred from those pre rendered 3D environmental backgrounds with fixed cameras into true 3D yet it manages to retain the whole essence of the thing. Its is big achievement and the game does its own thing in a great way.

Animations, Models, Textures, Sounds, Gunplay and the Zombie AI are perfect and the all new Mr. X is totally rad!

Resident Evil 2 being a new comer in this decade has made a solid spot on this list.

Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order

The game that saved Star Wars, honestly there were not that many good Star Wars titles in the recent years, both Battlefront games had their issues, while the 2nd one had a good production value, it stirred up the hive with its surprise mechanics. It was basically a Star Wars themed Casino and was brutally P2W. They have patched it now and is pretty playable but whats gone is gone.

Jedi The Fallen Order takes places after order 66 is executed. The Jedi order has fallen and the remnants are forced into exile. The empire has gripped the galaxy with its iron fist and the game puts you into the shoes of a young jedi who is accidently discovered by a high ranking Sith Inquisitor, the event propels the young Jedi into an epic journey of self discovery.

You travel across various planets in the galaxy and learn stuff about the lore which gives the series a fresh angle. It is clear that Respawn entertainment has put a lot of heart and soul into this game, it shows deep respect to the source material.  Star Wars needed that. Also, the combat is fresh. It borrows the best of all the successful mechanics introduced in various games of the generation like platforming, souls like combat give a realistic sense to saber battles. It feels like a true Star Wars game.

Overall, this one just came out at the end of the decade and took all of us by surprise.

The Legend of Zelda Breath Of The Wild

Zelda always hands over the torch to the next generation of Nintendo Consoles. BOTW is a fresh take on the long running Zelda series. The series departs from its previous gameplay styles and throws Link into an open world filled with perils. But unlike most games, Zelda is a very relaxing game, the art style is soothing and the game is fun.

You can play this one at your own pace and follow your objectives the way you like. The game looks simple on the surface but whatever goes down the hood is very complex as the game takes interactivity to a whole new level. Climb huge rock faces, cut trees, cook food, find rare loot, craft rare stuff and do all this at your own pace.

DOOM

Rip and Tear baby! Doom 2016 is simply awesome, its fast, brutal, frantic and fluid. Story is classic as ever, where the UAC accidentally opens a portal to hell and now all the demons are pouring in from everywhere. The key difference between the previous Doom games and this one is, earlier you were stuck in a room with demons, now the demons are stuck in a room with you.

Doom gives you a huge arsenal of weapons at your disposal and heaps of demons to kill, kill them the way you see fit.

The Witcher 3 Wild Hunt

OOF…..Witcher 3….what can I say…..

CDPR has dethroned Valve in terms of game design, this is what has happened this decade. There was a time when Valve used to make the best games, now its these guys.

You step into the shoes of Geralt, a professional monster slayer who has embarked on a journey to find his missing daughters in a land that is engulfed in conflict.

Witcher 3 takes place on a vast open world which is stunningly detailed, every 45 seconds you bump into something fresh and exciting. The world of Witcher 3 is well crafted, every section of this world feels vivid. The main story line is engaging but even the side quests are meaningful which is not commonly seen in most games.

The game lets you make choices and the story branches out as per the choices you make which drastically alter the outcome of the game which also gives it a high replay value.

If you call yourself a gamer, you have to play this.