#social rejection

[rhetthammersmithhorror]

Teenagers from Outer Space | 1959

[fuckingwhateverdude]

@nosebleedclub // mar. #26

[paradoxical-plutonian]

"The pain of social rejection shreds me mercilessly from the inside out. And by the time I’m left to face the windy world alone, it blows all my last bits and pieces away so that I am nothing but dust, barely visible to the groups around me."

November 17, 2019

[its-very-strangely-ian]

Sometimes I really do feel alone. Really abandoned. Sometimes I feel like people don't give me a fair chance because I'm not what they're dreaming of. I'm not everything they want. How can I be?

Why should I be? It doesn't have to be like this, but it is. I think what matters most about that is how I handle it. It's not like I can control anyone else or change their minds.

Why shouldn't I just keep being like this?

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

"Bearing in mind that both loneliness and rejection are stressful experiences which have ravaging effects on the body, it is shocking but not exactly surprising to discover. . . That HIV positive people who suffer social rejection also experience accelerated HIV progression. . . are more likely to proceed to full blown AIDS faster and are dying more quickly from AIDS related illnesses than those protected from social rejection."

Olivia Laing

The Lonely City

[jeneakaitaz]

(11/31) Swipe Story

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jenea Kaitaz Art (@jeneakaitazart)

#oceanartchallenge 2022

Follow my Instagram > www.instagram.com/jeneakaitazart/

[harru72]

Maya's social rejection is too relatable

[thepeacefulgarden]

[b4rfbrain]

playing it cool is soooo incredibly stupid

tell people you love them. tell them you miss them or think about them all the time. respond right away. text them first.

people are so cold but being warm feels so good. close interpersonal relationships that hold meaning are one of the best things that this world has to offer. don’t deny yourself from that experience out of pride or fear of rejection.

[natalieleif]

I know Jack and Maddie's relationship in canon is probably MEANT to be seen--depending on the episode--as a pretty bog-standard, 2000s-era "idiot big dad and exasperated, smart wife who puts up with him" trope.

BUT

my personal favorite interpretation is that BOTH are equally genius engineers who are also equally on the autistic spectrum, with a specific hyperfixation on ghosts and mad science.

The main difference is that Maddie has siblings and female social expectations, so she had to learn how to mask in ways that are seen as sociable and polite and attractive and "smart." When she does bumble major social cues (such as not recognizing Vlad's flirting until Danny points it out decades later, or humiliating her kids by showing up in a hazmat suit at school), it feels more "socially acceptable" from her.

She genuinely loves Jack because he could not care less about her being Feminine or Socially Acceptable. He just wants to shout with her about ghosts! So the nanosecond she's around him she can yank the mask off and go chasing spirits with a toaster turned into a machine gun.

[solarpunkani]

"Oh no, someone's attracted to the aesthetics of my -punk movement but doesn't know the praxis and history behind it like I do--"

OK. Tell them. Make it a teaching moment. Everyone who's in your movement learned the background from somewhere at some point, maybe this is that point for that person. Give them a jumping off point that they can dive into later.

"Oh but I shouldn't be responsible for teaching baby -punks about the history and the how-tos and--"

OK. Then don't tell them. You don't have to be responsible for teaching people with a budding interest in your group the ins and outs and how-tos. That's fair and valid! It can be a lot of work. Someone else will handle it

"But I'm annoyed that they would try to claim to be part of/be interested in my community without knowing all the details that I know after being in it for months/years/decades, they're dumb, they're posers, they're--"

OK. Then don't engage with them, if it's that bad. Maybe someone else will come around and tell them the history, maybe they'll pick it up on their own, maybe they'll just enjoy the fashion elements for awhile.

"But they shouldn't claim to be part of the -punk community if they don't know the--"

I feel like we have a few options here. People can either talk to them, share the history, share the values, share the praxis. Or they can just chase off anyone who even thinks about dipping a toe in their community, and then wonder why it's dying off later down the line.

I dunno, maybe I'm too naive and patient or whatever. But if people are entering your -punk spaces without knowing The Rundown of what you feel they need to know, maybe being nice about it and informing people instead of immediately assuming stupidity and malicious intent could help you make a new friend. Even the loudest voices in a space had to learn from somewhere, and not everyone has the luxury of being in the space as the History was Happening--whether it's an age thing or a not being aware of the space thing. Or maybe I just don't see what the big deal is behind people hating people who like the aesthetic of something and don't know the behind the scenes history about it yet.

Because I believe in the word 'yet.' No one comes into this world knowing everything about everything, and we're all constantly learning new things. I'm not gonna degrade someone and call them a poser for not knowing what I know. Because if it were me, interested in a scene but getting chased out and called a poser? I wouldn't hit the books and study up, I'd go 'that fuckin sucks, those people sucked' and then avoid anyone and anything having to do with it.

So chase people off and call them posers if you want. But if your community starts dwindling, don't be fucking shocked.

[cupiidzbow]

we’re autism4autism have i ever mentioned that

[alwaysbewoke]

[forestgreenlesbian]

youre not allowed to b a freak loser loner anymore or at least youre not allowed to mention it lol. even like five years ago you could talk about being awkward and socially weird around meeting new people but now if you do that eveeryones like "ok edgelord you are deliberately cutting yourself off from community why are you so obsessed with being alone. you all need to go outside and make real friends you are too online." which like yes obviously but why is eveyrone acting like the only two options are you either a) have a load of friends or b) you don't want them??? it is so weird. to be seen trying & failing has become so taboo that people assume if you're alone it's because you want to be and youre trying to be cool & aloof or else you see things like small talk or reaching out to people as "emotional labour" and choose not to do them. like i am not fucking choosing not to do them i literally try to do them every day and find it very hard and then you tell me i can't even joke about that struggle or being a lonely friendless loser to maybe for one second make light of the bottomless pit of disconnect + loneliness i experience every day without someone blaming me for not putting myself out there. idk

[nabbit-unmasked]

I might start isolating myself in public.

Pretty much all my old friends have started to treat xe/xem/xer pronouns as a joke and a laughing stock. I'm very tired of the consistent discrimination against neopronoun users and therians here. Speak up and you become a laughing stock too.

The other day, I was wondering what would happen (hypothetically) if I wore my mask to school. What would the people I'm around everyday suddenly think of me? Would their entire view of me change because of an accessory? A painted piece of cardboard on my face? Yes, I think it would.

I don't understand. People are just...living. And you (my classmates) are so insistent on treating them as inferior for just living their lives comfortably. Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with humans. I don't know why they formed their society in this way.

[furiousgoldfish]

I'm curious, did anyone else have this experience as a kid, of waiting to find the person who wouldn't hate you? Like yeah, your parents acted like you're a waste of space, but you were sure that deep inside there was something more to you, and one day someone would realize that and care for who you really are. And you kept trying to reach out, outside of the home, to find someone who would get you.

And then eventually you found someone you connected to on a deep level and who you felt intensely bonded with, who seemed to accept you and want you for something at last. And when this person suddenly changed their mind and also decided that you were not worth a second glance, it broke something inside of you?

Like you were able to keep resilient against all the abuse if there was one person who was on your side and saw something good in you, but if even that one special person decided you were worthless, then your resilience broke and you couldn't find it in yourself to doubt what everyone around you thought of you, that you were nothing, bad, poisonous, evil.

I keep carrying this shame in me and still trying to prove to myself and to the world that it is not true, but I've never gotten over that intense rejection and reactions of disgust on me being vulnerable, hurt, or wanting to be close. Even if I don't feel it when I'm alone, next to other people I only wait for the moment they'll decide that I'm not worth a second of their time, and that I'm in fact, repulsive in every possible way. Did anyone recover from this?