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#that dude was tripping balls
and-despair · 1 year
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luthienblacks · 7 months
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I'm a sucker for everything pink! And when Mommy Long Legs showed up on Poppy Playtime I went cuckoo for her!!! I had to draw her on my style, as a hot milf that we all deserve... Huggy found this version of her very cuddle worthy hehe... 🤭
‼️❌ PLEASE DO NOT TRACE/COPY/DOWNLOAD/REPOST THIS ARTWORK WITHOUT PERMISSION! ❌‼️
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polteergeistt · 2 months
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My playlist CANNOT play High Water after Fallen Down.
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theextrablogihave · 11 months
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Me too, Kyle.
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sepvqiite · 1 year
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holy shit yao is high as shit rn
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I love my neighborhood
This sound.
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middleagedmanyaoi · 8 months
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im starting to think i might be able to pull an all nighter. or might have to. i do have my 7 hour closing shift tonight to do but i think i got it...
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evilminji · 6 days
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You knooooowwww... >.>
The only difference, technically, between a school in the Zone? And on Earth? Is the American government won't recognize your Zone diploma...
Not accredited. But like..... I'm JUST SAYING? If you didn't try to pass your school off as some Big Ivy League type? Pulled the "oh yeah, you'd never have heard of it, it's local." And the COMPUTERS say it's legit?
How many people will dig deeper?
If you legitimately have the knowledge, you legitimately have the knowledge. Not YOUR fault you left out the whole "extra-dimensional" part. It makes folk nervous! And nervous folks get stabby.
So like? If you were ALREADY planning to "Move" as you euphemistically put it? Talked it over with your VERY concerned folks and friends? Who do NOT like the look of the steady but concerning rise of Anti-Ghost Powers That Be? Who finally put their foot down and reminded you that you are a TEENAGER and it's NOT your responsibility to fix the world?
Well...
Fuck those guys, I guess. You'll miss the old house, but Team "Taking our ball and going literally anywhere else" makes some good points. Why ARE you putting up with this?
And honestly, you've never SEEN your dad have so much fun. Him and the Reality Realtor just sorta... Vibe. Himbo to Himbo communications. Smatters of advanced physics. Fudge. It's great.
They move the portal. Collapse the old one in a way that makes it impossible to recover or recreate. You... kinda don't want to ask. They had that "mad scientist glint" in their eyes.
And while everyone's checking out brochures to different realities? You? Head off to the nearest College. It's the Zone, so technically you could go to any of endless billions. But you'd like your education some time this century.
Cue! Danny Fenton! Entering?
Academia's wet dream. A sprawling CITY of a college. Where the classes are on EVERYTHING and the price is FREE. People have Obsessions okay?? They NEED to teach. Debate and discuss! Study! Right papers and read them! It's been going on a while! And what happens when you find a subject that's NOT covered?
YOU COVER IT!
It's like if New York was a College. Good fucking luck find the dorms. Sleep on the floor like the rest of us, you casual.
Danny was Not Prepared ™.
He loves it though.
Classes on aeronautics next making the perfect sandwich, shoved next to historical basketry, stacked above alien slam poetry. But only on Tuesdays! Ever shifting. Breaking his Fenton Born Adhd in to a fine PASTE to be smeared upon bread. Happy mental stimulation chemicals go Brrrrrrrr
If it wasn't wildly inappropriate, he would LICK IT to claim it as his then wrap around it and gaurd like a territorial cat. He thought he HATED school! Turns out he just hated high-school. College though? College, or at least ZONE College, is fuckin AWESOME.
He's sit in SO MANY random classes just cause.
Picked up and dropped them at a whim. When they no longer sparked joy. He's been a flighty bitch and for once? No one CARES. No one says "you HAVE to commit and stick with this FOREVER once you choose this" and? It just? It's so FREEING! He's learned so MUCH!
He's probably gonna come back!
Which? Is how a deeply, DEEPLY weird aerospace engineer from supposedly bumfuck NOWHERE, end up working at Wayne Industries. He's.... a lil crazy behind the eyes. Ha ha... CONCERNING ™!
Dude sleeps on the lab floor. Has weirdly spotty knowledge. Can be an unprecedented genius one second and not know who the current president is the next. Doesn't know what DAY it is. Forgets to eat. Tried to make a fusion reactor out of the break room toaster before Sandra from accounting distracted him with pictures of her cat.
It's like he wanders through life blissfully unaware that he is both terrifying and about three seconds from killing them all. Then FUCKING TRIPS because he forgot to tie his shoelaces again.
Who hired this man?
WHY!?
I mean, we KNOW why. Probably to put him on a watch list. But? He's like a terrifying murder puppy! Built like a tank! That's stoned out of its mind half the time. And have you HEARD his college stories? That CAN'T be legal. Was this guy raised in a cult!? Aaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!????
@hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @babbling-babull @dcxdpdabbles @hypewinter
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seungkwansphd · 10 months
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contusion confusion
pairing: seungcheol x afab reader word count: 4K synopsis: your clumsy lab partner left a bruise on you. seungcheol seems disproportionately upset by it, but it makes way more sense once you understand why. themes: college au, best friend seungcheol, double sided repressed feelings, possessive and jealous seungcheol. warnings: smut, mentions of bruising/marking, mention of reader being smaller than seungcheol.
a/n: i started this literally one year ago and lost steam. and then blonde.fucking.scoups comes along and truly does a number on me. anyways, bon appetit, LOL
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“What the hell happened to you?” Seungcheol’s eyes widened as you stretched your legs across his lap on the sofa.
“What?” you blinked at him, taking your eyes off of the television momentarily.
“What’s this bruise from?” he asked, resisting the strong urge to touch the bluish purple mark just above your elbow.
“Ah, that!” you shrugged, “I almost tripped the other day in lab. Mingyu grabbed me, but he might as well have let me fall! Who knew someone could bruise you just from grabbing you! Like how strong is that dude even?” you rolled your eyes. Grumbling, you returned your attention to the screen.
Seungcheol stewed next to you. While he had no real claim or reason to be upset at your lab partner, every time you brought him up, it made him want to strangle someone.
Mingyu was so tall that you had to readjust the titration burette between replicates. Mingyu was all sweaty because he had come to lab right after the gym. Mingyu didn’t cover his face while sneezing.
Seungcheol eagerly awaited next semester when he wouldn’t have to hear about this man anymore.
Swallowing, your eyes flitted nervously to your best friend’s hands, which were stroking your calves absentmindedly as he watched the show. While just a mindless gesture on his part, you were struggling silently with the way it made your insides turn just slightly into jelly.
“Cheol, that tickles!” you finally pulled your legs away, curling into a ball against the armrest of the sofa.
“Oh, sorry,” he smiled sheepishly at you, seeming distracted. It almost seemed like your friend was sulking, but you couldn’t understand why. You were watching a sitcom!
“There you are!”
You looked up to see your lab partner standing over your table, clutching the straps of his backpack.
“Oh, hey Mingyu,” you furrowed your brows at him, “Did you need something?”
“I thought we were supposed to be working on our lab report today?” he cocked his head at you, wondering if he had gotten the time wrong.
“Oh shit!” you cursed, “I’m so sorry Gyu, I totally lost track of time!”
“That’s okay,” he laughed, “It’s not that big of a deal. You want to work on it now?”
“Sure!” you nodded, glancing at Seungcheol and Jeonghan, who were immersed in their computer programming assignments. “Do you mind if Mingyu joins us? We have a lab report.”
“Yes, we heard,” Jeonghan rolls his eyes at you, “Sure that’s fine.”
“Thanks,” Mingyu nods before taking the seat next to you.
“Did you start anything for it yet?” you asked, pulling your lab notebook out of your backpack.
“Whoa, did I really grab you that hard that day?” Mingyu exclaimed, seeing the purple bruise on your arm.
“Yes, it fuckin’ hurts too!” you squinted at him, annoyed.
“I didn’t think you could bruise someone just by grabbing them. I guess I’m just super strong, huh?” Mingyu preened.
“You’re so fucking annoying,” you threatened to punch him.
Jeonghan observed Seungcheol’s shift in mood with mild interest as you and Mingyu muddled your way through your lab report.
“I need some coffee or I’m going to rip my eyeballs out,” you announced after calculating mole fractions for far too long. You stood from the table to move towards the cafe in the library. You tapped your fingertips on your wallet mindlessly as you calculated how many shots of espresso you could consume without your heart bursting out of your chest.
“YN!” a familiar voice greeted you as they tapped your shoulder.
“Ah, hey!” you smiled at Bina, your lab partner from last year. “Ugh, I’m working on a lab report and it is giving me flashbacks to last semester!”
“Oh my god, please don’t remind me!” she rolled her eyes. You two had barely managed to scrape through that class. Unlike you, it had been her only chem requirement, so she was free of the horror of lab reports now. “Who’s your lab partner this semester?”
“Mingyu Kim,” you scrunched up your nose slightly, “God bless him, but he is such a klutz.”
“Wait, no. Mingyu? The Kim Mingyu?” Bina paled slightly.
“Why? Do you know him? Is there tea?” you looked at her with wide eyes.
“No, god I wish. He’s just so hot to me! I’m jealous, I would slog through another semester of chem to be his lab partner.”
“Would you?!” you gaped at her, thoroughly alarmed. “You’re sick in the head over this man,” you laughed heartily.
“No, probably not,” Bina chuckled after giving it some more serious consideration. “But I’d think long and hard about it.”
“We’re sitting over there if you wanna stop by and say hi. I’ll introduce y’all,” you offered before placing your order with the cashier.
“I might do that,” she craned her head to see exactly where your table was. “You’re sitting with Seungcheol too? My friend is infatuated with that man. They’re in Comp Sci together. Can she come say hi too?”
“S-sure,” you answered blankly. You had no stake or claim, but something in you wanted to scream ‘NO!’ when you heard Bina ask that question.
“You’re the best, we’ll be over in a bit,” Bina smiled brightly at you, giving you a squeeze.
“Okay, I’m ready to resume crying,” you announced when you returned to the table with your beverage.
“Okay, good, cause I’m ready to take a break from crying,” Mingyu looked up at you pitifully. “I think I figured out 4. So then if we can figure out 5, then we just need to pull together some nonsense for the discussion.”
“Okay, okay,” you nodded determinedly. By some miracle, question 5 was just some simple dilution practice, so before long you and Mingyu were typing furiously, chipping away at the remainder of the lab report.
“Hey YN!” Bina’s voice pulled you out of a sentence about how (DUH) important it was to switch pipettes between samples.
“Oh, hey Bina! What’s up?” you waved excitedly at your friend, eager to do some meddling for her.
“Not much, how are you? Long time no see!”
“Yes, luckily you’re done with your chem requirements, otherwise you’d be here crying with us,” you laughed as Mingyu and Seungcheol looked on at you with interest. Jeonghan had long ago put on a pair of noise canceling headphones and was ignoring everybody. “Mingyu, Bina was my lab partner last semester. And she was a lot better than you are,” you couldn’t help but tease.
“Hey!” Mingyu pouted.
“I mean at the very least she’s my height, so I didn’t have to readjust the biuret every time we titrated,” you rolled your eyes playfully at Bina.
“It’s not my fault you’re both short,” Mingyu protested, eyes flickering to Bina for some support.
“If it makes you feel better, I was terrible in lab too,” she offered up sympathetically, “YN is my patron saint of chemistry. Did she ever tell you about how I exploded two crucibles one time?”
“No!” Mingyu looked at her with interest, “Was YN also very mean to you and made you finish your work way ahead of time?”
“Yes!” Bina giggled excitedly, “Like why can’t we pull all nighters like normal people?”
“Hell no, I’m not disrupting my sleep schedule for y’all. No thanks,” you shook your head stalwartly. “Anyways, you two should exchange numbers so you can complain about me on your own time,” you chuckled. Bina and Mingyu seemed to agree and set about that task enthusiastically.
“Ah, sorry I’m being rude, this is my friend Hayoung! We’re in a writing foundations class together so we were working on that.”
“Hi,” she waved at everyone shyly.
“Hayoung, what’s your major?” you asked.
“Computer science, focusing on human & computer interactions.”
“Ooh?! Love me a girly in STEM! These two are comp sci as well! Do you all know each other?” you asked, mostly Seungcheol as Jeonghan was still intent on ignoring you.
“Maybe? You look kind of familiar, but I don’t talk to many people in class,” he chuckled honestly.
“I think we might have a class together?” Hayoung smiled.
“Oh wonderful! You two should exchange numbers too! Maybe you can work on comp sci stuff together,” you suggested. They weren’t really giving you too much to work with, if you were being honest.
“I’d actually love that,” Hayoung’s eyes creased into a smile, “I don’t know that many people in the major.”
“Is it because they’re being sexist?” your eyes widened and you raised a fist theatrically, “I’ll fight them all for you. Cheol, you will too, right? Jeonghan’s not much use in a fight, if I’m being honest,” you commented quietly, glancing at the target of your teasing.
“Sure,” Seungcheol’s face creased into a real smile as he watched you whisper about Jeonghan animatedly.
Hayoung and Seungcheol exchanged phone numbers as you watched on excitedly. Hayoung was clearly pleased, but Seungcheol was making a face as if he had tasted something odd, but was too polite to say anything about it.
“Bina is so cute!” Mingyu remarked happily after they both left, “Lucky you with your cute lab partners!”
“Yeah,” you rolled your eyes at him, “I love doing unpaid babysitting in the lab.”
“Cheol, can I crash on your couch?” you spoke after he picked up your call.
“Yeah, of course! Are you okay?” Seungcheol’s brow furrowed, worried.
“Yeah, I’ve just been sexiled,” you grumbled, starting your walk towards Seungcheol’s apartment. He met you about halfway and the two of you caught up on the walk back.
“How are things with Hayoung?” you asked, not quite making eye contact.
“What?” his hand slipped as he was moving to turn the doorknob.
“Hayoung, did you guys ever meet up to work on comp sci together?” you asked, lips pursed as you followed him into his apartment.
“Oh, no, she texted me but I forgot to text her back,” Seungcheol shrugged.
“Text her back, you jerk!” you poked Seungcheol insistently, “Hayoung’s cute! And she likes you.”
“That’s good for her,” Seungcheol grumbled, irritated at your attempt to push him towards someone else. Maybe his cause was truly hopeless.
“You’re acting weird,” you glanced at him oddly before flopping down on the couch.
“No, you take the bed,” Seungcheol ignored your statement and plopped down near your feet, tapping your legs lightly.
“No! I’m not gonna kick you out of your bed!” you protested.
“No, seriously, sleep on the bed. I always wake up before you anyways. I’ll end up waking you up if you sleep out here.”
“I-,” you tried to think of another excuse, but he wasn’t your best friend for no reason. He knew you just as well as you knew yourself. “Okay,” you acquiesced, hopping up from the couch to walk into his room, “Do you need anything from here before bed?” you turned to ask him, hand on the doorframe.
“Nope, I don’t think so.”
“Okay, thanks again for letting me crash,” you smiled at him before pulling the door not quite closed behind you.
Once inside, you dropped your bag and helped yourself to a t-shirt and pair of shorts from Seungcheol’s drawers. You laughed at the way you were swimming in the shirt.
“I look ridiculous,” you laughed, walking back out into the living room. “Cheol, look,” you spread your arms out to your sides, showing Seungcheol the way that his t-shirt just swallowed you.
“I-,” his brain stopped for a few moments. He wouldn’t say anything, but he could in fact see your nipples as you tried to show him whatever you were showing him. “What?”
“Your shirt is too big on me,” you folded your arms over your chest, irritated that he had been listening.
“Oh yeah, well I’m bigger than you,” he replied curtly.
“Well, yeah,” you glanced away from him. He was in such an odd mood today! You grumbled just a little bit before flopping down on the bed. You were tired.
Tossing and turning, you fought for a long time to push down the arousal that was building in your gut. Being enveloped by Seungcheol’s scent was making your brain go haywire. You could feel yourself throbbing and you bit down on your fist in an effort to try and distract yourself, but that hadn’t worked. Glancing nervously at the door, you contemplated seeking some relief, but the idea of doing it in Seungcheol’s bed while he was just outside the door inspired guilt, worry, and worst of all, excitement. 
You managed to ignore yourself for about ten minutes before your left hand snuck down between your thighs, stroking them softly. Sinking deeper into Seungcheol’s pillows, you closed your eyes and imagined your best friend’s hands softly caressing and spreading your legs apart. You were embarrassed to hear the wet sounds of yourself opening up, but not embarrassed enough to stop. Your right hand came to tease the sensitive undersides of your breasts as your fingertips stroked languidly through your folds.
In the living room, Cheol wrestled with whether to disturb you or not. Several minutes ago, he had noticed that one of his textbooks was still in his room. He’d been planning to get ahead on a problem set, so it wasn’t as if he needed to disturb you, but he also didn’t see himself falling asleep anytime soon. Chewing his lip, he noticed that the door was still slightly ajar and decided to retrieve the book as you must not have gone to bed just yet.
When his eyes first landed on your face, your brows were knit up in utter concentration as your hands worked feverishly under the covers. Your front teeth had your lower lip pinned down as you bit back the loudest of your desperate noises. Seungcheol’s pupils dilated as he registered what was happening. Frantically, he tried to back out of the room, but his sweater caught the edge of a pamphlet that had been hanging off the bookshelf, sending a handful of items clattering to the floor.
“Fuck!” your eyes shot open, panicked as you met Cheol’s gaze, “I’m, you-, help!” you squeaked, pulling the covers over your face as you wished to vanish off the face of the earth.
Seungcheol’s mind went blank as he walked towards you, placing his hands over yours to pull down the covers. You peered up at him through your eyelashes, so overcome with embarrassment that you failed to register the look of hunger in his eyes.
“I’m so sorry Cheol, I didn’t, I shouldn’t have done that here!”
“What?” he cocked his head to the side, brain not really functioning.
“It’s your bed!” you looked at him as if he was crazy, “I just-, you smell so good,” you spoke without thinking.
“I…,” he looked you up and down, “You’re telling me I inspired this?”
“Shit, I shouldn’t have said that, oh my god!” you groaned, trying to shrug under the covers again. Seungcheol’s large hands held you still and you watched in disbelief as he brought your left hand up to inspect it. The shine of moisture on your fingers was mortifyingly telling, but he surprised you to your core when he brought your hand to his mouth and sucked your wet fingers inside.
“Huh?!” you choked out, eyes fluttering shut as he tongue stroked between your digits, tasting you thoroughly.
“You should’ve told me about this sooner,” he told you, voice gravely with desire, “I’ve been torturing myself trying to ignore how much I think about you.”
“Oh?” you blinked at him in disbelief.
“Yes, oh,”  Seungcheol rolled his eyes at you, “Now let me help, as you requested.”
His fingers wandered. His eyes widened slightly when he felt just how wet you were. The rumble that emitted from his chest almost sounded like a purr and you found yourself quickly breathless at his ministrations.
“Cheol,” you moaned, melting slightly as his substantially larger fingers swirled dizzyingly through your folds. He smirked down at you, more than pleased to hear your saying his name in that manner.
“So needy,” he chuckled, eyes flicking over you.
“Well I was halfway there when you walked in,” you teased him and his eyes flashed at you, a subtle warning.
He raised one eyebrow at you before sliding his fingers inside of you. You choked on your breath at the intrusion, though your legs parted asking for more.
“You-, your fingers!”
“Mm, how do they feel?” he smirked at you, confident.
“I knew they’d stretch me out, bigger than mine,” you panted and his eyes widened at the realization that this wasn’t the first time you’d imagined this.
“You think about me a lot?” he raised an eyebrow at you, now cocky.
“No,” you lied, glancing away to avoid his eyes.
“My thick fingers spreading you open,” he continued anyways, smirking when he felt the way you reacted around him.
“Seung-,” you whined, overwhelmed at the way he teased you.
“God I like hearing you say my name like that,” Seungcheol shook his head, as if in disbelief. “Can I see you?” he asked, other hand itching to peel back the comforter.
You nodded wordlessly. You were slightly mortified to reveal yourself to him in this way, but his other hand quickly distracted you. You watched his eyes rove across you appreciatively until they trained in on your bruise, his jaw clenching.
“I’ve been thinking about this all week,” he exhaled sharply.
“Why? It wasn’t on purpose!”
“No, it’s not-,” Seungcheol paused. “That’s not why. I was annoyed because the idea of getting to be the one to leave marks on you has rendered me…basically unable to produce coherent thought.”
“Oh? OH,” your eyes widened, gears in your brain turning. “I mean…all yours, Cheol,” you smiled sheepishly at him.
“Really?” he groaned, looking at you appreciatively as he thought about exactly where and how he’d like to mar your skin.
“Seungcheol!” you snapped at him as he continued to mumble to himself.
“Maybe a handprint here?” he grazed your upper thigh with his palm, eyes dancing mischievously at you. “Or a necklace of hickeys,” he growled as he nipped at the base of your neck. He had decided to seize the opportunity to tease you, and as much as you liked it, you only had so much patience.
“Cheol, please,” you pouted, grabbing at his collar, “I can’t take anymore of this.”
“Yes princess,” he pulled an old nickname out of the vault. You melted.
“Mmmpf!” he smothered your next protest with a kiss.
“Seung. Cheol!” you moaned desperately as his hand grabbed your thigh, hard.
The strength in his grip set your nerves alight and your head fell back against the bed, arching your chest up towards him. His mouth took the opportunity to latch onto the underside of your breast, biting down firmly. Your hand fisted itself in his hair.
It was so much sensation. It was so good.
“Hn,” he pulled back with a breathless smile. His eyes flicked down to the spots where his mouth and hand had been and his lips curled into a cocky grin at the bright red marks. With any luck those would be bruised nicely tomorrow.
“That was…a lot,” you murmured as you caught your breath.
“In a bad way?” Seungcheol’s brow furrowed with sudden worry.
“No,” you smiled at him, slightly fuzzy, “In a good way. A really good way.”
“Really?” his eyebrows raised back up with delight. “So you won’t mind if you bruise a little?”
“I don’t think I’ll mind even if you bruise me a lot,” you answered after some thought.
Your best friend’s eyes darkened. The way you had rearranged his words hit the possessive button in his brain like crazy. His lips nibbled and nipped their way down your torso while his hand came to cup your breast. His grip was on the hard side of firm as his lips latched onto a spot on your inner thigh. His tongue stroked across the sensitive skin as he sucked firmly.
Your thighs parted of their own accord as you squirmed at this building onslaught. As you shifted, you could hear the wet sounds of yourself spreading. Open and inviting.
“Cheol, please,” you tried to pull him towards you. “Please,” you panted.
Seungcheol, the bastard, increased the intensity of his sucking before releasing his lips with a loud ‘pop!’. The jolt of the disconnection sent a shiver through you and the spot where his mouth had been now felt woefully cool.
“Pretty,” he looked at the red mark appreciatively. The thought that you would be reminded of this encounter over the next weeks sent a streak of pride through him that was unexpected.
“Seungcheol!” you grabbed his face by his cheeks, directing his attention to you. “If you don’t fuck me right now, I’m going to kick you out and take care of it myself!”
His eyes widened and he chuckled sheepishly before reaching over you to pull a condom out of the nightstand. You watched, almost painfully aroused, as he undressed and unrolled the condom over himself. His cock bobbed proudly as he pulled his sturdy torso over you, slotting himself between your thighs.
You sighed when his cock came to rest against your core. You could already tell it was going to be good.
“Seungcheol, please,” you placed your hands around his jaw. “Need you.”
He nodded, reaching down to slip himself inside of you. A soft gasp escaped you as his head pushed in and you couldn’t help but relish in the stretch. Seungcheol took his time sinking into you. The whines and gasps that you made were way too good to be rushed.
“Cheol,” your hands clutched at the back of his thick neck until he was pressed flush against you. “Fuck,” you exhaled into his ear.
Seungcheol’s hand was gripping your hip so hard as he struggled to keep control of himself. Of all the things that he found overwhelming, the way you pulsed and squeezed around him, the little sounds you made as he had pressed into you…the worst of all was the way you smelled. His hand fisted itself further in your hip as he inhaled you, a most intoxicating scent.
You clenched around him as his hand tightened. He was sure to bruise you there, too, and you couldn’t wait. Knowing that you’d be able to see these marks as evidence that this wasn’t another crush induced dream made you feel crazed in a different way.
“You feel perfect,” Seungcheol groaned against your skin as his hips started to move. “I just knew it.”
Clench.
You hooked your legs around his hips as he pumped into you deeply. Each thick stroke pushed you dangerously closer to the precipice and you were ready to fall off the edge.
“Cheol,” you pulled back slightly to meet his blown out gaze. “I’m there.”
“Go ahead,” he encouraged you, aching to feel you come apart around him. “Be good and come for me.”
Your eyes squeezed shut as you let go. Your hands clutched desperately at his shoulders as your pussy fluttered around him. You didn’t even know what kinds of sounds you made as you simply didn’t have the presence of mind.
“So good,” he smiled, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against yours. “So good,” he grunted before his hips shuddered and he emptied himself inside of you.
You wrapped your arms around his torso as he slumped down on top of you. He smiled when you gave him a squeeze with your entire body.
“So you’re kind of possessive, huh?” you chuckled softly after you’d regained your sanity.
Seungcheol squeezed his eyes shut with a laugh. He hadn’t realized it, or maybe it was just because it was you, but yes. Yes he was.
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bbyboybucket · 2 years
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oh no. I’m feelin some typa way when I definitely should not be
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konigsblog · 15 days
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stepfather!koing raping his pretty stepdaughter!reader because she was flirting w someone random dude and he wants to stake his claim
he's just looking out for you, liebling. :(
tw/cw; virginity loss, rape, non-con/dub-con, stepcest, guilt tripping, dark fiction. dead dove: do not eat. MDNI 18+
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you're a virgin. you promised your stepfather that you wouldn't dare lose your virginity and that you'd lose it to a good man whom he'd met before. although there was no need to meet your future boyfriend, because könig already had plans to keep you as his second wife, despite you being his stepdaughter.
to you, your stepfather being creepy and perverted is ‘normal’. it's what you're used to. könig gets off to the sound of his stepdaughter masturbating. he installed a camera in your bedroom to prevent you from sneaking out and getting drunk behind his back, but instead he found himself using the recordings for a different purpose. he strokes his stiff length at a slow pace, listening to the sweet sounds of your euphoria and the sticky, sloppy noises of your cunt being fucked with your soft fingers.
when you introduced your new boyfriend to könig, he wasn't very happy at all. he glared at the boy before shaking his hand, shooting him a death glare. könig is the type to threaten your boyfriend, saying that if he ever makes his stepdaughter upset, then he'd take a rifle and leave the bastard bloody.
könig sneaks into your bedroom at night and begins to undress you. he curses you for not wearing any panties. it's as if you knew this was coming and wanted it. könig pumps his swollen dick into you, his cock overstimulated from jerking off. he fists his weeping, lengthy cock before pushing into your swollen folds; his breathing is heavy, and a cigarette is held between his pearly white teeth. he grunts out shamefully, lowering his head as he begins to fuck you, his balls meeting your rear with each thrust. 
you cry out like a little whore, turning your head over your shoulder only for könig to pin your head down against your pillow, gripping you by the scruff of your nape and forcing your face into the softness of your pillow to soak up your tears and stifle your loud, terrified, and mortified noises. he ruts into you brutally, talking about how seeing that boy made him feel so jealous and envious. he'll guilt trip and manipulate you into believing that he just wants to see you happy and that he doesn't think any man is right for someone so sweet and precious as you.
“breathe in, precious. you belong to me, ja? isn’t that right, mäusi? tell me, who do you belong to?” he hisses out through gritted teeth, his thrusts quickening and becoming more violent and intense. you whimper out an answer that you know will please him, sniffling quietly as your walls clamp down around his veiny shaft, forcing könig to release ropes of his creamy, potent load into your puffy cunt.
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mediumgayitalian · 2 months
Text
Nico really fucking hates capture the flag.
Well, not always. Last week was fun. Last week was the annual Everyone Against The Stolls (to atone for their crimes), and Nico got to chase Connor around at top speeds, cackling, committing his shrieking and begs for mercy to memory. That was nice. That almost made him forgive the fucker for digging a trench under Nico’s unwelcome mat for him to fall into at seven thirty in the godsdamn morning.
But tonight’s game is boring.
He’s been standing, alone, at the base of the flag for the past forty bajillion hours. He’d raised a few dozens skeletons to spar with at first, since animating them to fight himself isn’t technically against the rules, but that got dull fast. (It isn’t much fun sparring with a partner who doesn’t have a brain. He already has to do that enough with Percy when he comes to visit camp.) He’d climbed the various trees around the clearing, or at least he tried until he got reamed by the dryads for climbing on a manner that was too annoying (?), and tried his hands at a few summoning spells. Nothing held his interest long.
And now he’s just standing, doing nothing, and he’s not allowed to leave. He has to stay in this stupid spot on the off chance that someone comes stumbling over to fight him for the flag.
“You’re our best swordsman, she said,” he says mockingly, beaming the nastiest vibes he can manage in Piper’s vague direction. “We need you on our defensive line, she said. Nyeh nyeh nyeh.”
His checks his watch. He groans. He looks critically over the grass, looking for a softer patch, and when he locates it he throws himself dramatically upon it, groaning louder.
“This sucks!” he yells, to no one.
“Will you shut up!” shouts back the dryad he pissed off earlier. “For the love of photosynthesis! Fuck!”
He bites his tongue hard to hold back laughter. (If he can avoid getting his entire cabin overgrown with prickle bushes again, that’d be great.) “Sorry,” he calls, trying with everything he has to sound contrite. Convincing his father to fight the Titan War was easier, actually. Acting is not his calling.
“Hmph!”
At least listening to see if she’ll come out and yell at him again provides something to ease his boredom. Yes, he’s going to regret bothering her, but in his defense, solo guarding is cruel and unusual punishment. He’d rather sit by an outlet with a fork and see if he can poke and let go fast enough to avoid dying. That at least would be interesting.
A rustling of leaves recaptures his attention, and he pauses.
“Holly?”
When no one answers, which is odd because she’s taken every opportunity in the last hour to either insult him or pelt him with stones, he lifts his head.
“You’re not going to scare me, dude. I had my fear glands surgically removed to become a better soldier.”
Not true. Obviously. But a fun bonus of being the camp weirdo is that no one doubts anything he says. He’s working on convincing everyone younger than him that he needs weekly tributes of chocolate delivered to his door every Friday or the dead are going to take over the world. So far, it’s working.
“Look, Holly, I’m sorry about the zombie, okay, I promise it didn’t mean to sneeze part of its brain on you —”
The rustling sounds again, only this time Nico can see that it’s not Holly’s tree, and in fact she is nowhere to be found. Alarmed, he jumps to his feet, shifting so he’s balanced on the balls of his feet, poised to attack. Is Piper’s plan failing? Has someone actually managed to make it all the way over here without getting (gently, probably, although they lost the last game and Piper gets cranky without dessert) maimed?
The rustling sounds for a third time. This time, an armoured someone stumbles out of the underbrush, tripping over their own foot and nearly landing flat on their face.
Nico has his sword at their throat in a millisecond.
“Wo-oah, Morbius. That’s probably my least favourite sword you could stab in me.”
Nico goes bright red. “I have never wanted to stab you more than right this second.”
Will, chest plate skewed to the right, quiver completely empty, and black paint smeared under his eyes, snickers. He puts a finger on the tip of Nico’s sword and pushes it away from his neck.
“The opportunity was right there, babe. I couldn’t not.”
“You really, really could. In fact at all times, you should remember these words of wisdom: shut up.”
“…Damn. Inspiring.”
Nico rolls his eyes, but the effect is somewhat lessened by the smile on his face and the obvious pleasure in his expression. He’s even feeling merciful enough to accept Will’s kiss, although his sword keeps a good amount of distance between them. (Will’s on the blue team, after all. It would be unprofessional to be fraternizing with the enemy.
…Well, too much, anyway.)
“What’re you doing here? You’re supposed to be with the other archers, sitting in trees and causing havoc.”
Will shrugs, grinning lazily. “I quit. This game is senselessly violent and I’m Against It On Principle. I’m a pacifist, you know.”
“Uh huh.” Nico raises an eyebrow. “I assume this doesn’t count you choking Cecil out in a headlock, this morning.”
Will opens his mouth. Nothing comes out. He closes it again.
“Cecil is my mortal enemy,” he grudges after a moment. “He doesn’t count.”
“‘Course not. Not like you cried for two hours when he went to visit his mom last weekend or anything.”
“Will you — stop saying I cried. I barely teared up, okay. Barely.”
Nico can’t quite force down the stupid grin that pulls across his face, matching Will’s, nor can he resist grabbing the leather straps of his boyfriend’s armour and hauling him close.
“You better not be here to distract me,” he mumbles, leaning close and pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw, the corner of his mouth. Will hums, settling his hands on Nico’s hips.
“Nope. Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“Drama queen.”
“Excuse — I am the least dramatic, I’ll have you know. I’m a pinnacle of solemnity. I am a shining beacon of stoicism. I am — mmfh,” He trails off. “Okay, doing this now, mhm.”
Nico smiles triumphantly into the kiss. Will, he has found, is very easy to shut up, despite his long-running nickname of Motormouth. It’s almost like he has an off button that can be accessed only by Nico sticking his tongue in his mouth. Nico is doing his civic duty, honestly. He should be compensated for his service.
(‘Course, doesn’t hurt that Will smells, like, really good, all the time, and his lips are soft as hell and he is actually quite the kisser, in fact. That is definitely a fun bonus.)
He smooths his hands over Will’s shoulders, travelling up the sides of his neck and settling in his hair. Will keens, slightly, when he wraps a finger around a frizzy golden curl and tugs, slightly, when he scratches his nails along his scalp. The rush of power at the feeling makes Nico dizzy, and his sword clatters to the ground as he busies himself with more interesting — and important — things.
Like pulling more of those sounds from his boyfriend’s throat. Or making his knees buckle, again, like he did the other night — gods, that was good, it made Will flush scarlet and Nico feel like he was fuckin’ floating, to have Will so needy and touchy and totally at his mercy —
“Free line to the flag! Go go go go!”
Nico startles, whirling towards the sudden cacophony of noises. To his horror, what looks like half the camp, helmets shining with plumes of blue, comes pouring into the clearing, weapons raised, voices mixing in one long, victorious shout. He lunges for his sword, but before he can grab it, two strong arms tighten around his torso, pinning his hands to his side.
Immediately, he knows he’s been set up.
“Oh, you — fucker!”
He feels the curve of Will’s grin against his neck. “First shower privileges for a whole month, baby.” He noses along his jaw, pressing an apologetic kiss to his cheek. “Couldn’t resist.”
Nico struggles, aghast, watching the once-red flag shimmer in Lou Ellen's hold to a bright, shining blue. “I am breaking up with you, you traitor, you Iago, you vixen — ”
Will snorts. He ducks down and pecks Nico on the lips, again, and again, and then shifts to his cheeks, the bridge of his nose, his temples, his forehead, and all over his face, making louder and louder mwah sounds until Nico is laughing, punching his shoulder and shoving him away.
“Okay! Okay. Let me go, you villainous toad. We will discuss how much you’ll have to grovel for my forgiveness after Piper finishes yelling at me for getting distracted.”
Will presses one last kiss to his nose, smiling cheekily before stepping away, heading towards his boasting team. “Enjoy that lecture! Love you!”
“Yeah, yeah.” Nico rolls his eyes, resting his aching cheek in his hand. “Love you too, asshole.”
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mikeysw1fey · 6 months
Text
penalty shot
Tumblr media
request linked here
pairing: jenna ortega x female reader
warnings: none
a/n: i think i’m also gonna start writing for arcane characters (mostly sevika) , lemme know what u guys want :)
Stress doesn’t even begin to cover the amount of anxiety I feel as I stand under the stadium lights readying myself to kick a penalty goal. My team may be up by one but missing this kick could ruin my chances at moving up the league ladder. Plus it doesn’t help that football fans are never lenient when it comes to penalty goals, miss it and your basically the worst player to ever walk the field.
Taking a deep breathe I glance toward the goalie who stands crouched in the middle of the goal side stepping from side to side ready to dive. With a clench of my jaw and a last glance at my team behind me I manage to calm myself as each member nods their head in encouragement. Finally I begin to run towards the ball, grass kicking up in my wake as I lift my right leg and make contact with the ball.
The stadium is silent, watching as the ball flies through the air looking as if it’s going for top bins. My hopes are quickly squashed however as the goalie manages to get a finger to the ball causing it to fly up and over the goal and straight into first row of the crowd.
An ooh echoes around the stadium as my ball smacks a brown haired woman dead in the middle of her face. Her hands immediately flying up to her nose as she winces in pain. “Shit.” I mumble under my breath seeing the woman on the big screen, my cheeks blushing red as I notice how beautiful she happens to be.
“Dude, you just hit Jenna Ortega in the face.” My teammate Sam whispers, her eyes not leaving the big screen either. “Of course I did. I’ll be right back.” I pat her on the back before heading over towards Jenna who dabs at her nose which runs red blood all down her chin.
“Hey, no you can’t leave the field.” The ref sprints in front of me, an arm extended out before me to prevent me from getting any further. “I just need to see if she’s ok.” I plead gently pushing the refs arm.
“Only time your leaving this field before time is up will be for a red card and if u keep behaving how you are it won’t be far away.” The refs eyes narrow before he picks up his whistle and blows it loudly in my ear.
“Get back on the field.” He seethes, a vein popping on his neck. Holding my hands up in surrender I head back to the field glancing over my shoulder to find Jenna already staring at me. I send her an apologetic smile to which she raises her eyebrows with a tiny smile she tried so hard to hide.
Throughout the rest of the match I can’t help but glance over at the brown haired woman who holds a cloth to her nose yet still cheers loudly. Even with the blood running down her chin and the large cloth covering half her face, her beauty still managed to force the blood to rush to my cheeks.
Finally only two minutes remain with the score now tied. The crowd fades into background noise as I slide across the ground successfully tackling a girl from the opposite team causing her to trip over my foot as it hits the ball from between her legs. Her arms extend as she gasps, glaring at the ref as if trying to force him to give me a yellow card.
Luckily the call never comes allowing me to take the ball that rolls down the field and dribble it towards the goals. Defenders come my way pausing my play as I somehow manage to manoeuvre the ball between their legs until it is just me and the goalie once again.
Kicking hard silence falls over the stadium as my ball flies through the air. Only this time the goalie dives the opposite way allowing the back of the net to catch my ball.
The stadium erupts into cheers and applause, my name echoing across the stadium as the buzzer finally sounds ending the match. I find myself surrounded by my team mates, each one wrapping their arms around me and slapping my back in celebration of our victory but I only have eyes for one person at this time.
“Guys, guys hang on I have to do something. One minute.” I force my way out the group and head towards the crowd once again, only this time no ref stops me as I lean against the barricade where Jenna sits.
“I’m so sorry for hitting you.” I apologise instantly, gently biting my lip as she sticks her tongue out to wet her lips. “You made up for it with that last goal.” She shrugs with a small smile. “Plus it’s not broken so.” Jenna pulls the cloth away from her nose for a second as if to show me her button nose is far from damaged. “Yeah still looks perfect to me.” I flirt holding eye contact with the girl who raises an eyebrow. “That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.” She fakes a pout and I let out a laugh before stepping backwards.
“Well then let me make it up to you.” I pull my jersey over my head leaving me in just a sports bra and shorts. “Got a pen? I can sign it for you too.” I chuckle as Jenna not so subtly eyes my stomach before reaching into her back pocket. “How do you even know I go for your team?” She teases watching me with a grin as I roll my eyes.
“Well the cheering and screaming of my name was a large sign.” I retort leaning my jersey against the barricade so I can write on it.
Signing my name and my number onto the jersey I place it in her hand, ignoring the tingling sensation as her finger graze mine. “Don’t sell it or I’ll have to change my number for the third time.” I playfully threaten. “Ooh I might just have to. Call it revenge.” Jenna chuckles before glancing over my shoulder.
“Looks like people are waiting on you. I’ll text you. Maybe.” She grins. I raise an eyebrow. “I’ll be waiting Miss Ortega. And I promise next time I see you there will be no blood noses involved.” I send her a wink before turning around and heading back to the field.
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your-local-baguette · 6 months
Text
They see you wearing glasses for the first time
Characters: megumi fushiguro, gojo satoru, itadori yuuji, nobara, sukuna and nanami.
Warnings: fluff maybe a little spice?? Not proofread. Iapologize if some characters aren't accurate and hope you enjoy...
Megumi fushiguro
You were simply reading a book by same place you usually neet up for a reading date. You came in advance and decided to grab some random light novel. You had your hood over your head, halfway curled in a ball in a bean bag. "What are you reading ?" You looked at megumi who had just arrived " hi. It's they were ten. I think the original is ils étaient dix. It's a translation of a french book." "I see, make some space for me." You move a bit and sits down next to you, you turn a bit so he read as well. You noticed he kept peeking at your face, you put the book away. " Is something wrong" removing your hood. His eyes widened and a deep blush spread over his face, he put his hand over his face and turned away. You raised an eyebrow, leaning closer, puting the back of your hand over his forehead. "Are you sick ? You should have told me, you don't have to force yourself to come" you said worried " no it's not that, it's..." You raised an eyebrow again. " You look really good with those..." He pointed to your glasses, while you were completely shocked.
Gojo satoru
You were just in the teachers toom and finishing up some work. The door was opened with do much energy that you weren't even wondering who it was. " Y/n~" you turned in your chair, your glasses resting on your nose. He stopped in his tracks, his hand in the air, a slight smirk making it's way on his face. Suddenly his face was inches away from yours, " now now~ i didn't know you wore glasses" you pushed away his face with your index " that's one way to say i look good" "you alway look good!" he said waving his arms around like the silly man he is. You sighted opening your arms, he didn't waste a single moment and hugged you really tight.
Itadori yuuji
"woaah! You wear glasses?!" Your gaze turned towards itadori, pushing down your glasses a bit. " I do, you like them?" "Hell yeah! You look awesome!" "Thank you yuuji" he had a bog smile on his face" can i try them?" You took them off, handing them to him" be careful" he nodded and when he put them on he looked around. "I can't see anything" you laughed at your boyfriend's silliness but he was adorable. You took them off his face " you looked good in them too" a red blush spread over his face and he kind of froze
Nobara
You were just reading some paperwork, waiting for nobara at the entrance. She jogged towards you after waving at her friends. When she saw you she stopped in her tracks and litterally tripped. The pink haired dude and other one looked at her a little worried. "Nobara?! Are you okay?" You yelled, she lifted her tumb and raised her head "hot" she said while staring at you "huh?!" Her friends catched up and itadori was shaking her like she was dying. Megumi just stood there, with his resting bitch face. You sighted and walked towards her, she looked up and extended her hand, you pulled her up and she shook you. "Since when do you wear glasse?!" "A...long..time. st op sha...kiiiing meee" she stopped and looked directly into your eyes. " Wear them more often because it's hot" "what's hot?" Gojo said arriving " who is that dude" you said "my teacher" nobara answered "well your teacher is fine as fuck" "i know right, but you're finer" "i know, i'm so pretty" "yes you are"
Ryomen sukuna ( spice)
You were lating in bed, reading a book. Shirtless sukuna walked in, you didn't budge and kept reading. Glasses resting on your face, the mattress sunk to your side and a naked chest was pressed against yours. " Well well.." you lowered your book and made eye contact with sukuna. He smirked "don't you look good in those" "that's unusual, but, thank you" his smirked grew bigger and he crashed his lips with yours, forcing his tongue in. Yk what's after....
Nanami kento
He actually ignored it at first, he wasn't bothered, why should he ? But when you squinted your eyes and pushed the glasses down that was it. There was a light blush on his cheeks, he sat in front of you. You raised your gaze at him " hello, love" he didn't reply and just looked at you. You wre slightly confused but remembered something" what do you think about my new glasses ?" " You look good" he instantly replie, no hesitation. "Thank you" you smiled at him.
Note: nanami thought were a little yk...
Hope you enjoyed!
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dvrcos · 3 months
Note
more mic’d up andrew minyard when?? mic’d up AARON minyard when?? other mic’d up fox when??
Aaron Minyard Mic’d up
Hes reluctant to do it for a long fucking time
He thinks its kinda dumb
But he mostly doesn’t wanna get scolded for what his mic would pick up
Because my boy is a shit talker
He’s saying everything and anything he can to rile up the other team
He’s even trying to rile up the other foxes tbh
So when he finally agrees he makes coach promise he won’t get in trouble
He body slams the opposing striker (because if there’s one thing Aaron’s gonna do it’s put his all into a body check)
And the opposing striker is mad like visibly fuming
He’s all up in Aaron’s space, a moment away from starting a fight
And Aaron thinks it’s the funniest thing ever
He’s laughing his ass off while loudly crashing their raquets against each other
‘What you’re upset I hit you? I’m five foot nothing dude sounds like a you problem’
And he’s lucky the striker gets pulled away by his teammates cause he’s over 6 foot
And Aaron is all bark, no bite
*whispering into the mic as he walks away* ‘I’ll be honest guys, he would’ve kicked my ass but that was to good of an opportunity to pass up’
His best moments come from when he trips up a striker
*sends the striker sprawling onto their ass* ‘womp womp’
*body slams one into the wall* ‘maybe next time man’
*slams the ball out of their racquet* ‘that’s not yours cmon now’
He flirts with the opposing team but in German
Because he’s discovered that when they can’t understand what he’s saying it really gets to them
And he’ll slip in a word in English so they figure out he’s flirting
And they’re even more pissed and distracted that they mess up what would’ve been a solid play
‘What the fuck did you just say to me!?’
‘Hey, hey sorry just trying to have a nice conversation’ *winks and walks away to start up play again*
*Opposing striker, absolutely baffled and fuming*
His striker accidentally trips him up and gets past to Andrew
And Aaron doesn’t even have to look at Andrew to see the heavy bored expression he’s giving him
Aaron knows he’s probably plotting where to hide his body if he does it again
*Andrew, shaking his head in disappointment as he smacks the ball away*
*Aaron rolling onto his knees and pleading for mercy while laughing* ‘my bad, let’s just talk this out I promise it won’t happen again it was Nicky’s fault’
This happens a lot whenever they’re both on the court
Because making a joke out of Exy is one of the only ways they both actually enjoy it sometimes
And it’s something they can actually bond over
But oh god forbid if someone on the other team says something about Andrew
That’s when Aaron just looses it
Doesn’t matter if the player is ten times his size, he becomes all bite
‘Put your psycho pet brother on a leash already’
And Aaron’s helmets already off and he’s going for his gloves next
*Matt grabbing him and holding him back* ‘cmon Matt it’ll be good, he asked for it, it’ll be good’
‘No Aaron, no red cards’
‘But it’ll be fun’ *tries to throw his helmet at the other player*
He gets a yellow card for it but he proudly displays it by tucking it into the front of his jersey
‘I’m gonna frame this one coach’ he tells Wymack as he sits on the bench for his penalty
Kevin’s always the most annoyed by Aaron’s shit talking because it threatens the game and Aaron’s wellbeing
And he also gets the most riled up whenever Aaron’s turns it onto him
*Kevin storming over to Aaron after he almost gets ejected* ‘Stop saying shit that’ll get you kicked out of the game you idiot’
‘Oh cmon Day I know you like em a little feisty, I’m just trying to make you happy my Queen,’
And Kevin just smacks the top of his helmet and turns to walk away
‘I can get on my knees to apologize if you want, I know you like me on my knees’
And Kevin just has to tune him out cause Aaron won’t stop if he feeds into it
He gets really into the game sometimes though (because he’s competitive and he can’t help it)
Like he’s screaming and cheering so loud at certain points the mic is crackling
*Kevin and Neil scoring the goal that pulls them into the lead* ‘LETS FUCKING GO’
When he’s on the bench he’s the one banging on the plexi glass
He’s screaming at them to get their heads out of their asses or cheering them on even though they can’t hear him
And then he gets out of his competitive streak and he’s lowkey embarrassed
‘If that gets posted online I will never recover’ he mutters after he’s just jumped into Matt’s arms in celebration
When the foxes listen to his recording later they’re shocked by how creative Aaron gets with all of it
And they find it hilarious
And endearing
And they like that they’re getting to see a new part of Aaron as he gets more comfortable with the team
He is by far one of the most aggressive of the foxes when he’s on the court, both physically and verbally
And the fans absolutely eat it the fuck up
But Wymack doesn’t mic him up often because he is lowkey a liability because of what he says
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incorrectbatfam · 3 months
Note
If you could create and add a new DC character, what would they be like?
I'm going to tell you about David, and knowing you guys, you'll agree with me when I say he should have his own comic.
David has been my best friend literally since we were 8. He is the only constant I've had through my life. He introduced me to the drums and helped me get a motorcycle after I got my license. We are each other's platonic ride or die. If he asked me to bury a body, I'd do it no question, and I know he'd do the same for me.
That said, I clearly have the braincell in this friendship.
Don't get me wrong, he's smart in certain aspects. He's a talented musician, good athlete, taught himself to fix most plumbing issues, speaks decent Japanese, easily clicks socially, and is super empathetic. But in others, he's like a plate in a knife drawer.
Some highlights from over the years:
He ate the brown paper bag his lunch came in on a field trip
He thought hot chocolate was just cocoa powder (no milk or water) in a mug and the microwave would melt it. His sister had to call the fire department
He gave a stray dog his scarf for warmth and never saw that scarf again
He licked the dust off an XBox controller
He got a speeding ticket outside the DMV literally five minutes after getting his license
He made gender reveal cupcakes to come out to the rest of our friend group when we were 17, but he threw them into a Ziploc and they jostled around his backpack for half a day before lunch
He thought closing a browser tab would get rid of a computer virus
He tried hotboxing his own car while driving
He almost seasoned his food with pepper spray before someone stopped him
He had a tire swing on a tree in his backyard. He decided to stand on it while swinging and smacked his forehead against a branch in front of him. It was literally the most hollow thwock ever, as if confirming his lack of braincells. He then proceeded to get pissed off and punch the tree. He said it was his most gender-affirming experience
He brought me along on a family road trip and used me as a footrest in the car
He frequently writes drum tabs the way he'd write guitar ones (in short the two are very different kinds of sheet music and I'd need three hands to play them). He absolutely knows better. I think he's messing with me at this point
He mistook wasabi powder for matcha
He once got drunk at a frat party, crawled out the lawn of the house, and began eating grass like a cow
I wanted to know what kissing a dude was like out of curiosity and this was before he started physically transitioning, so to make it a more "authentic" experience, he gargled Gatorade beforehand
He tried to make his first battle jacket with washable Crayola markers
He also tried to dye his hair with his sister's watercolors
He's worn the same sweatshirt since he was 14 and I think I can count on one hand how many times I've seen him wash it (I was over at his house a lot)
He's the motherfucker that wears running shorts in the snow
He thought his area code would automatically change when we moved to a new state
He once kicked a soccer ball into an oncoming train
BONUS: when he came out to his parents, they were accepting and while he was at school, his dad mounted a fish on David's bedroom door because men I guess
So yeah, if I worked at DC, I'd insert David in the background of every comic just being his chaotic himbo self. David is beyond space and time. There could be a battle on fucking Oa and David would just be there doing a kickflip. That's who I'd choose.
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