#the STRUCTURE was all them but that sound most definitely was NOT

[bigweldindustries]

im going insane trying to work out what fuckin set it was that axwell ingrosso first dropped barricade

I FOUND IT ULTRA MIAMI 2015

[augiewrites]

"valley reverie" - sebastian

summary: the timeline of sebastian and the farmer’s relationship based on canon dialogue

pairing: sdv sebastian x farmer

word count: 2.5K

a/n: this may be my magnum opus

The sun was beginning its descent behind the mountains when Sebastian emerged from the house for the first—and only—time that day.

He shot a glance to his mother and Demetrius, who were standing at the edge of their property, looking over the valley bathed in golden light. His mother sent a small smile back, followed by a pointed disappointed look at the carton of cigarettes held loosely in his glance. Demetruis didn’t acknowledge his existence.

Sebastian knew it was a nasty habit, but he spent most of his life with not much thought to the future—he was surprised he made it this far. Maybe his life would have been different if he had planned better; if he had considered for a moment that there was such a thing as life past sixteen, then eighteen, then twenty-one. He supposed he should start to consider a life past twenty-four, but quickly dropped the thought as he placed the cigarette between his lips and continued his stroll to the lake.

He saw it then, as his lighter sparked to life and helped the cigarette take eleven minutes off his.

Someone was sitting in his spot. A humanoid blob of denim focused intently on the bobber floating in the water.

He hesitated, then decided to keep moving—his trajectory now locked in past the stranger and across the rickety planks of wood to the smaller islands in the middle of the lake. His mother had been saying for years that she needed to build something more structurally sound, but had yet to get around to it.

As he got closer, he took in more of the scene. There was a muddy bucket next to the stranger, and he noticed a couple slimy carp flopping around inside. Whoever this was, they clearly didn’t have enough experience to catch the tricker creatures in the lake.

Just as he was about to slip past toward solitude, he locked eyes with the stranger. Their bored expression quickly turned to worry.

“Sorry, am I in your spot? Robin said it was okay for me to fish here.”

Recognition sparked in his brain—his mother had told him about the new resident of Pelican Town. The words she had used to describe them flashed behind his eyes: sweet, a little lost, cute. That last one was sent his way with an exaggerated wink and met with a scoff from him.

“Oh. You just moved in, right? Cool.”

The farmer didn’t respond, just looked on waiting for an answer to their question. Sebastian didn’t gratify them with a response, instead looking across the lake at the tree line and abandoned quarry.

“Out of all the places you could live, you chose Pelican Town?”

The farmer scrunched up their mouth slightly, beginning to reel in their line. There was nothing but a limp worm dangling from the hook. Sebastian took note of the grieving look flashing on their face before it was gone in a blink.

“Better than where I was.”

Sebastian didn’t bother responding as the farmer heaved up the bucket—they were a lot stronger than they looked—and walked away without another word.

Robin smiled at the farmer with a wave and shouted goodnight before sending another disapproving look to her son.

_________________________________________

Sebastian heaved open the door of the house, exhausted from band practice. Sam was his best friend, and he enjoyed spending time with him more than he would admit, but the newest addition to the band was definitely a hindrance.

He didn’t dislike Abigail, and he couldn’t deny that she was a talented drummer, but he had been hoping for years that her little crush on him would fade away. He could only take so much of puppy dog eyes and over exaggerated laughter at his quips that definitely aren’t that funny.

He was so absorbed in his thoughts on how to shake off the purple-haired girl—more importantly, how to shake her off without actual confrontation—that he didn’t notice the farmer leaning against the shop counter until their voice pierced through. His mother was nowhere to be seen, so they had to have been talking to him.

“What? I didn't hear you...I'm busy thinking about something. What do you want?”

The farmer narrowed their eyes at him, leveling him with a glare. “You know, I get that you’d rather be listening to My Chemical Romance and jerking off to Nietzsche than interacting with a human being, but you really need to work on your people skills.”

Well, he hadn’t been expecting that.

He expected avoidance from the farmer, based on their first meeting and subsequent run-ins where they gave him a nod of acknowledgement before going back to acting like he didn’t exist.

He realized that the farmer wasn’t as timid and one-dimensional as he let himself think.

The moment was saved by Robin entering the shop room and dropping a workbench on the floor with a heavy thud. “You’ll make better use of this than I have lately—it’s pretty old,” she looked up from the dusty bench, noticing her son frozen in the doorway, “oh, hi Sebby.”

“Sebby?” the farmer questioned with a smirk.

Sebastian rolled his eyes, brushing past his mother to get to his lair.

“Sorry about him,” he heard his mother as he descended the stairs.

“It’s fine,” the farmer laughed, “he’s cool.”

He couldn’t help the smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. _________________________________________

Sebastian looked down at the frozen tear in his hand with a neutral expression on his face, though his heart was quickening its pace.

“Gunther told me it’s fabled to be the frozen tears of a yeti.”

He met the farmer’s grin with one of his own, “I really love this. How did you know?”

They shrugged, “Seemed like some emo shit you’d be into.”

A breathy laugh escaped him before he could stop it. “Well…thanks.”

“No prob. I’ll keep an eye out for more when I’m in the mines.”

“The mines?,” his brow furrowed, “how far down did you go?”

“Not super deep, I think I stopped at sixty since it was getting late.”

Sebastian gaped at the farmer—who he now realized he really misjudged—as they shouldered their backpack and turned toward the door.

“Oh,” they stopped just shy of the threshold, “your code is wrong, by the way. Third line down.”

He looked to the screen, baffled, seeing that there was, in fact, a mistake in his code.

He began to ask the farmer how they knew that, but they were gone. _________________________________________

The sun was setting on the valley, and Sebastian found himself sitting by the lake’s edge with the farmer, who was reeling in sturgeon and bass with ease.

“I’m sure the city’s different for other people, but it was corporate hell for me,” the farmer spoke softly as they baited their hook—it was different than any bait he had ever seen, and the farmer had informed him that the wild man living behind their house had taught them the recipe.

Sebastian hummed, “I guess that makes sense.”

“You guess?” the farmer teased him, flicking water at his face.

He blew a puff of smoke in their face.

The farmer coughed, then began to laugh as they fanned the smoke out of their face, “asshole.”

Sebastian grinned, leaning back on the palms of his hands and gazing across the water.

They sat in comfortable silence as the farmer cast out their line and half-heartedly focused on the bobber—they didn’t really need it anymore, but liked the safety net.

“You and Sam are probably my only friends in this town.” Sebastian broke the silence, but continued looking straight ahead.

“Well I am very likable.”

Sebastian knocked their shoulders together with a scoff.

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.” _________________________________________

Sebastian was indifferent—and sometimes loathful—toward most events held in their little town, but tonight was an exception. It was hard to not be in awe of the midnight jellies, and he was excited for the farmer to see them for the first time.

They were perched at the edge of the dock, along with Sam and Abigail, their feet dangling inches above the water.

It was a lot colder than expected, and the farmer was bundled in his black jacket. He couldn’t help but feel bad about the sad glances Abigail was sending their way.

The farmer looked content, and Sebastian recalled something they told him at the beginning of the season—the used to be terrified of the ocean before moving to the valley.

He nudged their shoulder with his own. It didn’t take much effort—they were sitting a lot closer than he realized. A light blush dusted his cheekbones.

“I thought I saw something moving in there…” he pointed to the void of the ocean and leaned closer to their ear, whispering, “something big, something dark.”

The farmer’s eyes widened as they looked across the vast darkness before they narrowed and turned to him.

“Just trying to scare you...” Sebastian laughed.

The farmer smiled, knocking their knee against his, muttering an all too familiar “asshole.”

It wasn’t too long before Lewis sent out the first lantern, and the water surrounding the docks was filled with glowing jellyfish.

“It’s beautiful,” the farmer breathed out as their head landed on his shoulder.

“Yeah,” his eyes landed on a glowing green jelly before looking down at the farmer, “it is.” _________________________________________

Sebastian never saw the farm in its full glory—before the farmer’s grandfather grew old and passed away—but he had been there plenty of times when it was overgrown and abandoned.

He had told the farmer this as they sat on the newly installed swinging bench on their porch. They joked that they would be suing him for trespassing, since it was technically their property at the time, even if they hadn’t known it.

It was a chilly fall day, but the farmer had made a pot of coffee to keep them warm.

“I thought this was your busy season,” Sebastian lit up a cigarette and moved the ashtray closer to where he sat. It was a newer addition to the farmer’s decor. He thought about the prideful look on their face as they held it up and told him that Leah let them use her pottery wheel. It was painted with little creatures that looked like the much happier cousins of the slimes living in the caves.

The farmer hummed, holding their mug close to their face, but not taking a sip, “Yeah…a lot busier than I thought it would be, actually.”

He grinned at them, “so, you’re slacking today, huh?”

The farmer laughed.

“I’d rather hang out with your sorry ass than work.” Despite the insult, the farmer’s tone was soft and earnest. Sebastian felt his cheeks heat up.

“Could you picture me living on a farm? It seems ridiculous, but I have been thinking about it lately.”

“If I could do it, then so could you,” the farmer linked their pinky with his, “it’s a lot more freeing than you’d think.” _________________________________________

Boxes filled with Sebastian’s things lined the walls of the farmhouse, but Sebastian and the farmer lay in bed, choosing to ignore them. 

They had all the time in the world.

The farmer was twirling the pendant dangling from Sebastian’s neck, “there’s steam coming out of your ears, Seb,” the farmer giggled and smoothed out the wrinkle between his brows with their finger.

“I’ve just been thinking,” Sebastian turned his attention from the ceiling to the farmer, “The older I get, the less I'm drawn to the city. It had a certain mystique to it, once. But it turns out that was just a romantic fantasy. The city's so busy, so full of people... I don't belong there. I'm a loner.”

A beat.

“Present company excluded, of course.”

The farmer laughed, “Well I would hope so,” they tugged gently on the pendant, pulling him closer, “because you’re stuck with me.” _________________________________________

Sebastian and the farmer had joined his family for dinner, and his mother had shooed them away with one hand as she cooed at the bundle held tightly in her other arm.

The valley was coming to life, but the ghost of a winter chill was in the air. They settled down by the lake despite the cold. It was no longer his spot, but theirs.

The farmer was skipping stones across the lake when he grumbled about how being in that spot made him want a smoke.

“No one’s stopping you,” the farmer laughed.

“I am.”

The farmer still held a loose smile as they raised their eyebrows at him, “oh?”

“I'm trying my best to quit smoking now that we're married…” He avoided their gaze and brushed some mud on the palm of his hand onto his jeans, “I don't wanna die on you. It's a bad habit. I want to have a future together.”

A baby cried in the distance. Sebastian and the farmer smiled at each other. _________________________________________

The farmer was surprised to find Sebastian’s side of the bed empty when they woke up. It wasn’t a rare occasion, as they usually found Sebastian in the kitchen after a restless sleep, but he was nowhere to be found.

They couldn’t help but worry a little bit as they pulled on their boots and opened the screen door. They paused out of instinct to let the dog run out before them only to realize that the dog wasn’t hot on their heels like usual.

They had only gotten two steps onto the porch before a mass of fur and slobber crashed into their legs.

“Oh hello baby,” they cooed down at the dog as it rolled onto its back, breathing heavily out of excitement, “good morning stink.”

“Good morning to you too.”

The farmer was so caught up in giving the dog attention that they hadn’t noticed Sebastian leaning against the porch railing.

They straightened from their crouch, smiling at him as the dog whined from the loss of affection.

“I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I went ahead and fed the animals,” he pushed off the railing and took a few steps forward to fix a rogue piece of the farmer’s hair, “one less thing for you to do.”

“Thanks, Seb,” the farmer said softly, suddenly bashful, “I’m going to check on the pumpkins. Thought I could make some soup tonight if any of them are ripe.”

They took a few steps off the porch, “feel like being a country boy today? Or did you get your fix?”

He smiled, leaning his forearms against the railing, “I'll just watch you from here. I enjoy watching you.” _________________________________________

Sebastian and the farmer found themselves sitting on the porch swing once again. It was a mild summer evening, and he was looking on as a toddler played with the dog in the yard.

He tore his attention away from the rowdy scene in front of him to look at the farmer, who was curled up at his side reading a book. He felt his heart swell.

“This is so different from my old life, but I'm really starting to like it. I feel like I really belong here.”

The farmer looked up from the book in their lap, smiling.

“I don't often show it, but I'm really happy that I'm your husband. Marrying you was the best decision I ever made.”

[jupitermelichios]

Hey, we need to talk about the way Batfamily fans write Cass using ASL, because a lot of it is really fucking ableist

But Cass can't speak, of course she needs to sign!

Not true! There is nothing physically wrong with Cass's vocal chords or mouth, there's nothing in her brain stopping her from making sounds, and she is not an elective mute. She actually learns to speak individual words really quickly after she puts herself into an environment where that's a useful skill. Basil teaches her to quote huge chunks of Shakespeare in Nu52, and that's easier for her than forming simple sentences. That would definitely not be the case if she had any physical limitations on her speech.

Cass's disability is that she was not taught any language, and so she is having to grok the entire concept of language from the ground up. Grammar and syntax; tonality; how to combine words to convey more complex ideas; how putting two words next to one another can change their meaning; how to break down a whole idea into the individual parts needed to turn it into words; the fact that people's words might not line up with their tone and body language so you have to pay attention to both; how to tell if someone wants a response or is stating a fact; how to work out meaning from context if a word is new or someone has an unfamiliar accent; how to know if someone is using a new word or if they actually just have an unfamilar accent and all the ways words can be bent and changed before they become something new; the fact that two words can use the same sounds but have the same meaning; the fact that there can be two different words that mean the same thing. This is all stuff she didn't learn as a baby, and not knowing it would be just as much an impediment to learning ASL as learning English (for accent, swap out things like having limited movement in their hands, or having learned slightly different forms of the same sign, using a lot of home-signs etc, it's the same concept in a different medium).

There is no language on earth Cass wouldn't have these problems with. ASL is not any kind of shortcut.

But she reads body language, and ASL is kind of like body language right?

Not true, also pretty abelist! Just as the sounds which make up spoken language are essentially arbitrary (there's no objective reason why the sound "gud" should mean good, English speakers just all agree it does) so most of the signs in ASL are arbitrary! There's no reason for

to mean good. ASL users just all agree that it does. Cass knowing body language would not help her any more with ASL than it would with English, and if anything, it might make it harder, because sign uses the whole body and therefore changes the way people use body language so unless she saw a lot of ASL users as a child (and there's no particular reason to think she did), she would have to adjust what she knows about body language to account for those differences!

But she signs in the comics!

Nope! She uses hand gestures to communicate sometimes, but that's not signing. Pointing at food and miming eating to convey hunger is not sign. Pretending to punch someone and pulling it at the last second to convey you could hurt them but won't (Cass's actual first communication with Bruce in the comics) isn't signing. I've done the point and mime thing in countries where I didn't speak the language, that does not mean I knew that country's native sign language!

But she learns ballet, that's like a physical language, so sign is the same thing!

Nope! Also low key kinda abelist. Dance is a method of communication, but it isn't a full language. There's almost no grammar or sentence structure, the vocabulary is extremely limited, and also you can just make up new dance moves or use moves from different styles of dance together and still convey your meaning (you cannot just make random gestures or use BSL and expect ASL users to understand you, because they're full complex languages). Cass vibes with dance pretty hard, but that's precisely because it isn't a language, it doesn't require any of the skills she struggles with in order to communicate emotion.

But ASL isn't like a real language, it's not as complex or nuanced as spoken English so it would be easier for her to learn

That is so fucking gross I don't even want to have this conversation with you. Go and sit in the timeout box and think about what you've just said, and then commit to doing better.

But I just think that once she learned it, she'd like using ASL because [it's very expressive/she's used to her world being very quiet/she can use it on stealth missions more easily/etc]

Valid, understandable, have a lovely day

But I'm writing an AU were she uses ASL because her backstory is too comic-book-y to fit in no-capes AUs but I didn't want to erase her communication difficulties so I've written her as having a different disability

Cool. Send me a link when you're done.

But what if I write her using makatong?

(For context, makatong is a form of sign developed for people who have intellectual or phsyical disabilities that affect language use, which uses more descriptive signs which require less precise hand possitioning than other sign languages, and which has very simple grammar, making it easier to learn than ASL). Yes this would be easier for her, because it's intended for people with similar difficulties to hers, but since her difficulties stem purely from a lack of experience which can be (and are, in canon) overcome with practise, it would be kind of needlessly limiting compared to her just starting out with very simple spoken language, and wouldn't give her as many chances to develop those language learning skills. Makatong is also not mutually intelligable with any other sign language, so she couldn't easily transition from that to ASL once she got used to signing, she'd have to start learning it from scratch.

But I HC her as deaf

There is 0 comics evidence to support that, but it's a headcanon, so who cares. You do you. Have fun.

But learning sign language would be better than learning to speak anyway because it's a universal language!

That is not even slightly how it work. Go read the wikipedia article on sign languages around the world or something. Do some research.

TL:DR; Cass does not use ASL in the comics, and nothing about her disability or sign languages in general would make learning ASL easier or more convinent for her than spoken English. That does't mean writing her signing is inherently bad, but you should examine your reasons for doing it to ensure you're not just perpetuating ableist stereotypes about the language.

[teopatra]

What makes you pretty? Pick a pile/card (PAC)

Teehee happy libra ♎️ season, the prettiest season

Top left: mulatto // bottom left: justa (@justuh-IG)

Top right: crystal westbrooks // bottom right: chan (@trapezoidmouth-IG)

“On October 3rd, he asked me what day it is…”🤭

🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍

Latto🖤🤍 (top left)

🖤keywords: glam, mixed , clean cut, dark feminine, vixen, sports illustrated

🤍I checked on Latto’s chart and her sun is 0° Capricorn and she has a lot of Sagittarius, Capricorn, and Aquarius influence. what makes you pretty off first glance is the size or shape of your bum bum lol it’s very plump and your skin and lips are soft looking. This makes people want to touch you and if you happen to attract people who are coarser with you or [TW] stalker-y then that’s why. The shade of your complexion also makes you pretty also.

🖤 You are probably considered getting work done to some part of your body or you could have already gotten work done; if not, then this is your sign. Whether the work you seek to get done to your body is cosmetic or not, you want to improve your body for your mental or physical health. You like to stay healthy and focus on beauty a lot.

🤍 you have very stern, strong, and structured features like a very nice smile, nice teeth, white teeth, or dimples. You may have a square shaped face or a heart shaped face with a small forehead or widows peak.

🖤 dark hair probably looks best on your but diff hair shades suit you and you can really pull off any color. If you like to wear your hair down it’s very feminine and gives me typical cheerleader trope with flowy or bouncy hair. If you wear your hair up it accentuates your ears, neck, and shoulders

🤍 what makes you even prettier than most not to compare but you’re a chamelon. With the theme of Lotto this is fitting because her stage name USED to be Mulatto but the term is technically derogatory, but the meaning is a mixed race person. Even tho I’ve mentioned multiple or specific races in other piles, n this group the mixing of energies makes you able to pull off multiple aesthetics. You’re definitely ambiguous and most of you are mixed, but not all of you. For those of you who are full breed you probably have a feature that isn’t likened to your race for example if you’re black you may have really fine or straight hair maybe even a very loose curl pattern. I’m even getting some of you are bald maybe you are diagnosed from alopecia (at first I said suffer from alopecia, but I changed it bc although this is a disease that is hard to deal with , I don’t want to use the word suffer bc you are so inspiring and influential to others despite the hardship you endure with this health challenge. Stay strong loves you’re very beautiful.)

🖤 what makes you pretty is your ability to control your emotions and think rationally. Being focused and goal oriented are traits that can make you prettier bc people can see that you take yourself seriously. You are able to make something out of nothing and even n the toughest situations you know what to do. Your resourcefulness makes you pretty bc it shows your wit and survival skills. You’re an innovative person in the way you maneuver thru life and you don’t rely on others to make things happen for you

🤍 what makes you pretty is how sought after you are. A lot of people demand your presence and want to be around you; most finding you to be attractive, but even if they aren’t looking to seek you romantically, a lot of them want to work with you just to have a reason to be around you. In matters of a classroom environment, others may want you to be their partner or study with them. Being around you gives others confidence and makes them feel important bc of how pretty you are. It sounds shallow only to a small minded person bc your beauty is of God’s craft. Your features are sharp yet symmetrical, making you a model of many facets.

🖤 your jaw line makes you pretty which makes me think of mercurial energy like people watch your mouth when you talk or people love your teeth and if you see people looking at your mouth during a conversation that’s why lol don’t feel awkward about it. People hang onto your every word lol you may have an accent and even tho you’re pretty you speak sternly and alot of times you tend to be sarcastic and people may find this intimidating bc they can’t tell if you’re serious or playing. they don’t know when to laugh lmao you make people feel awkward bc you have queen energy that’s like when she says jump I’m supposed to jump but idk how high to jump and I don’t want to look stupid lol. People are not afriad of you bc they feel comfortable in your energy but their afraid of how you may perceive them. People can’t help but compare themselves to you but in a good way, like if you wear a bow in your hair then when someone goes to the mall and sees sowmthing similar to what you wore like that bow they’ll get it just bc it reminds them of you and how pretty it looked when you wore it. You have that “effect”.. idk if I’m supposed to use affect or effect lol

🤍 but that’s another reason why people find you pretty bc even tho you take life seriously you don’t take YOURSELF too seriously. You’re effortlessly pretty like yea you like to dress cute and look put together, but honestly you don’t try too too hard. You’re a very simple girl but you’re about your business. It may make you sad sometimes that you may make jokes but you have dad humor so it goes over a lot of peoples heads lol. You’re especially pretty to people a lot older than you bc of your maturity and wisdom and those a lot younger than you bc you give them cougar energy even tho you’re not that old ( you could be), but to them if they were to have a crush on an “older” (than them) women you would be that gworl.

Xoxo

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Justa 💕 (bottom left)

💕keywords: shapes, coquette, dainty, fairy, girly, (divine) feminine, pink, fresh, spring, winter

💕 pretty Justa is a libra sun and she is Indonesian and black. But what makes you pretty is your charm, wit, and feminine energy. When you’re pretty but not intimidating yet alluring n a way that draws people in bc you’re down to earth it hypnotizes people. You probably are clumsy or may move kind of fast, you’re the type to stubble or drop something when you’re walking out the door but don’t get it twisted you’re ALWAYS prepared. You are a triple threat (song, dance, AND act model as well) and that makes you pretty bc your talents are your hobbies and your favorite things so you shine.

💕 you’re just a girl (no pun intended) and this makes you even prettier bc to men you’re like a damsel in distress and you may or may not realize this but you attract the same gender as well even if those people aren’t normally attracted to their own gender, but it’s something about you like siren energy that gets people lost in your eyes. You have a seductive quality without trying but it’s the way the tone of your voice rises and falls. Your voice probably doesn’t match your face and that makes you pretty too bc it’s a shock factor and makes people hooked to your every word.

💕 you have no problem tapping into your dark feminine energy it’s giving me Xtina and old school 90s video vixens who are just hot for existing. Everyone wants to look like you but they can’t seem to do it quite like you bc of the features you possess esp if you’re mixed with multiple things and if you aren’t I’m hearing it’s your eyes, you probably have cute little eye bags not the scary dark ones lol but the plump ones like a baby that give you an innocent quality. How can you be so innocent, fresh, and young looking, yet sexy and seductive at the same time.

💕 you combat your sexiness by wearing girly girly stuff like coquette theme and you don’t show too much skin for the most part you’re actually modest but you give a little tease like an off the shoulder shirt revealing your collar bone or a deep plunge revealing your cleavage and bust line, or a skirt with a slit or cam micro mini revealing thigh (tbh you prob love short skirts but wear tights or leggings under) . What makes you pretty is that people would take your Instagram pictures to their cosmetologist, esthetician, or surgeon as reference. I’m getting even trans or boys who want to identify as women want to look like you bc you’re the epitome of pretty but not mainstream pretty. You have an exotic look that was probably too sexy for mainstream media, pop culture, and magazines. Some of you either have dark features OR the opposite like striking blonde hair and blue eyes and if not you could potentially look great with the opposite like if you have dark hair you’d look just as pretty with highlights or colored contacts.

💕 it’s almost scary the type of pretty you are bc people can’t help but stare at you to the point it’s rude but the way you look people have never witnessed before. Have you ever seen a gorgeous person n public randomly and it gave you a boost of energy or confidence like wow I’m n the same room as that person we must have sowmthing n common. What also makes you pretty are your mannerisms, if you’re a clutz while you’re rushing out the door, once you get yourself together I’m seeing you being very calm and controlled almost too controlled which is another reason they stare bc they can’t tell if you’re real even tho it’s quite obvious you aren’t a mannequin lol but you aren’t seen on your phone too much n public, when you’re alone you take lots of selfies and that makes you pretty bc of the self archives you have. You may do your own photo shoots n private for your socials and it’s like you have an arsenal. You probably wear a lot of black and or white with accents of pink or blue. You dramatize doll makeup with lash extensions or loads or mascara, lip plumper, and blush to make you seem flushed or embarrassed.

💕the mannerisms you posses that make you pretty are your ability to stand up straight and very still for long periods of time bc most likely you’re very focused on your surroundings taking n the ambience while others are taking you in as well. This gives me high priestess vibes bc you’re able to bask n the moment and be very present and understand the spiritual significance of the moment in time you’re in. People can see this wisdom and innate understanding when they look at you bc they see your gears moving.

💕 you look like a little doll but people don’t feel the urge to possess you or dominate you, men ofc would love to have you like a little girl would love to have a pretty doll on her shelf, but you have strong Yang energy or feminine energy that makes a man want to be balanced with you. You make men straighten up or fix their hair or clothes, you can make the manliest man blush or have sweaty palms and even stumble over his words bc there’s a depth to your eyes yet looking into them is almost like looking into the eyes of a porcelain doll. You’re often very hard to read and this makes you pretty bc nowadays a lot of girls can give off pick me energy and have no mystery to them. You aren’t overly mysterious but there’s more to you that meets the eye and it’s apparent that you’re talented in the arts whether it be that you’re a great vocalist, maybe even a poet or public speaker.

💕 it makes you pretty that you’re very involved whether that be n the community or taking your hobbies serious as in professionally. If you’ve considered going to art or fashion school or moving to a major city that’s known for music or fashion then do that bc it’s a part of your destiny. I’m seeing that wearing half up half down is very pretty on you. Your hair may be very straight and hard to curl I seen you have tried to curl it but it takes lots of products and afterwards your hair just feels heavy and greasy and all you wanna do is wash it and start over with a fresh flowy blowout. If you’re considering dying your natural hair maybe try weave alternatives first like a wig or tape ins. Esp if you’re into theatre and acting skits, don’t change your look too drastically bc with todays resources you can get a nice makeover without it being permanent.

💕 I’m skipping around about here n this group but back to community involvement, this makes you pretty bc it shows you’re not selfish like most pretty people are assumed to be. You don’t just have a maternal nature but you also have a leadership quality that allows people to trust you, you’re almost like an angel to people bc not only are you pretty but you’re sweet as molasses. You have a strong personality and this makes you pretty bc it shows that you know what you want and where you’re headed, you’re a one (wo)man band who doesn’t mind involving others along for the ride. You may have not been Regina George popular but you’re popular n the way that everyone knows you and they don’t mind indulging n a quick chat with you every few passings. You’re really pretty in jeans and boots. Esp winter and fall apparel like a winter American girl dollie lol

Xoxo

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Crystal 💙 (top right)

💙 keywords: passionate, resourceful, loved, loving, gentle, flower child, bohemian

💙 she is mixed with black, Native American, Mexican, creole, and some Asian descent. She is a Pisces sun but I mistook her for a cancer. When I looked at her chart she had a LOT of fire energy which I was slightly surprised by because on her social media she doesn’t usually talk or SAY much she’s more of a re-poster.

💙 it’s pretty when you try to tan or go outside in the sun bc for some reason your face may not tan much or stay tan for long but the rest of your body including your neck stays darker than your face

💙 if your hair is big that is bold and makes you stand out even if you’re introverted or shy and you may always wonder why people talk to you when you may not feel mentally prepared to engage in conversation but your hair draws people in if you were ever wondering. The thickness or length of your hair makes people want to get a closer look bc of the contrast from your hair color and pale face. Browns and blondes can look the best on you whereas darker colors like black hair and dark browns can make you looked washed out.

💙 you may not wear a lot of makeup which makes you extremely pretty bc you probably indulge in a lot of skincare or maybe you wear makeup that looks so natural as if you’re not wearing any like a boy beat makeup look that isn’t full coverage but accentuates your natural beauty features, try to only wear mascara, lip gloss and stain, and blush. There’s almost no color match for your skin youd have to mix at least 2 or more shades to get your right skin match bc you have different undertones esp once you go out in the sun. This could be due to you being multiple ethnicities.

💙 your mouth is pretty expect people probably never see your teeth bc don’t smile with them and you could be shy about showing your teeth or being overly expressive. Having too many emotions in public can make you feel embarrassed which is cute to others bc it makes you come off as mysterious. You remind me of tangled how her hair is always in your face, your hair is like a curtain shielding and protecting you from the outside world but ofc that only makes people more curious

💙 I feel like tones of chestnut brown like Ariana grande brown hair tone or auburn and reds suit you, also maybe thinner or natural brows. Try mascara instead of lashes and if you don’t wear either mascara could elevate your natural beauty and maybe even brown eyeliner instead of black. Your hair could be prettier up and off of your shoulders and out of your face either like a messy bun/updo or a pineapple style.

💙 you look pretty when you show your legs or arms and people pay attention to your hands as well they’re very dainty and maternal as if you give good massages or people daydream of you playing n their hair 😆.. try a French manicure or a clear polish and if you don’t do polish do not bite your nails start carrying around a nail file instead and give your nails a square or almond shape. You look pretty n neutrals like browns and beiges. Gold jewelry also accentuates your beauty but necklaces instead of earrings. The type of pretty you are is you’re extremely naturally beautiful but accessories take away from that and it clashes. For the most part if you already don’t do too much n that aspect then this is confirmation.

💙 side note this isn’t about physical feature but it’s makes you more attractive that you aren’t seen around large groups unless it’s for family. I see you probably are a loner who likes to eat at restaurants alone and read or scroll on your phone and you enjoy your own company. This makes you pretty bc it gives off self assurance and that you aren’t caught up in the joneses of clout chasing and trying to be seen amongst the cool crowds, instead you walk alone and people-watch. Although you’re reserved, around the right folks you’re deff goofy and that makes you pretty bc since you’re so quiet for the most part you’re seen having fun giggling at those around you which makes you down to earth and trustworthy. Girl you’re fine asf and you prob like vintage or thrift shopping. I see a very old Hollywood when you dress up but mix and match in your daily dress like a soccer jersey that’s from the little boys section or that you tied n the back with a rubber band and some sports shorts and maybe doc margins, vans, or ballet flats. You’re so girly and cutesy, but dress like a tomboy sometimes even tho you aren’t and people know this bc you’ll carry around a dainty purse and probably rock shades when you’re out bc you have something with your eyes like astigmatism lol it reminds me of how Ariana Grande is always squinting bc she can’t see LOL that makes you pretty tho xoxo

💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟

Chantel💟@trapezoidmouth (bottom right)

💟 keywords: soft, dainty, warm tones, pastels, versatile, round and petite features but feminine and curvy physique, sparkly, sensual

💟 Chan is a Sagittarius sun, I’m not sure her chart details but she has a very curvy yet petite frame and a small shaped face which is typically attributed with the planet mercury.

💟 you could have a way with words and thing things that you say and or the way you say them makes people laugh. You’re witty, yet down to earth so you know how to crack a GOOD joke, even if you’re not trying to. Due to your dry humor, sacrastic tone, social ques, and emotional intelligence you have a personality and intellect that people don’t come across everyday. You’re like a fictional sitcom character with a really good script. From a pretty lady like yourself …

💟 you’re a doll to where people want to dress you. You may not know this but in the traditional old fashioned way that women would be spotted by industry talent agencies bc they wanted to see that particular person in their clothing brand or representing their label is because of look that person had. You are very editorial and a fantasy/traditional Victoria’s Secret vibes to those wanting to dress you but not in a trendy way rather a trendsetting way. For example when new Bratz would have edgy and over the top outfits that you didn’t see everyday and you’re prob the person that experiments with clothing and have always done so by putting together pieces in a cool way which breaks the mold and makes others more comfortable with being quirky in their dressing instead of waiting for mainstream media to give the “ok” with particles looks first. Just as much as people love to see you wear the most high fashion they imagine what you’d look like nude as well.

💟 I see you having a defined back or an arched back or even back dimples. If you have wide hips or love handles this makes you pretty bc it gives the child bearing appearance that makes you seem more maternal. Being more maternal means you’re caring and people can see this in your eyes as well. Your eyes could be intimidating and I feel like you don’t mske a lot of eye contact with people in person. People are not offended by this bc you give off the energy that you’re always busy doing something or too busy for the convo. Most people would find this rude, but with you people are happy to just be in your presence or even be seen within feet or you bc you’re so gorgeous.

💟 if you have an uneven skin tone or discoloration (vitiligo, tan, sun spots, freckles, hyperpigmentation) it’s very pretty and some people may try to hyper focus in on how many hues you have or compare and contrast the different shades of your skin tone. The people who get close enough to you to analyze you (as they always do you may just not notice it) try to inspect small things about you that they could remember later to help them visualize you after you leave bc people crush on you hard . People could notice when you get goosebumps and that turns them on bc that very human nature makes you feel more personified even tho to people you are a fantasy or a fictional character in the flesh

💟 Jessica rabbit, Lola bunny, and Betty boop are all vibes you remind people of due to the pure innocent nature of the feminine needing masculine energy to counterbalance.. men view them as fragile and weak to where they could overtake them or almost pick them up and take them away and even tho you may be dainty or petite, people wouldn’t dare harm you bc they assume that there are lots of strong masculine figures in your life bc your demeanor exudes that. And even if that isn’t the case, there is a masculine ancestor or spirit guide who is fighting for you on the spiritual plane to protect you. Even tho you a divine feminine, your masculine and feminine qualities are balanced.

💟 aside from your face and body frame, your limbs particularly make you pretty, it’s the way they move when you talk or walk, like water. (Tyla) you’re prettiest in clothing that accentuate your body no matter your frame as long as the skin is covered for example a body con, or long sleeve, or a skims type dress, or all black leggings and title neck with long riding boots and cute accessories. Obvi you’re hot no pun intended (from being clothed head to toe LOL jk) in anything you wear but you’re most attractive n that style bc it accentuates your limbs. Particularly your hands are slender and men could imagine what your hand would look like with a wedding ring. If men grab your feet when you’re chatting with your crush on the couch it’s bc you have cute toes. Your teeth are pretty and white, but continue to take care of your gum health and whiten your teeth more to charm men.

💟 long wavy hair is pretty on you if you haven’t tried it I would suggest that in maybe extensions or a wig BUT if you want to do something different try curly and super short and if you’re thinking abo it chopping your hair off then this is a sign, the pixie length with your dainty facial features would eat downnnn. As far as makeup peach tones, browns, and golds will bring out your complexions and undertones in your skin. Also I see wavy hairstyles are pretty on you as well

Xoxo

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Ps this is a LATE libra ♎️ season post 🤭 oopsie happy Scorpio ♏️ season xoxo 💋

———————————————————Tip Jar 🍪

[blues824]

Hi!!! Could I request headcanons of Leona, Sebek, Malleus, Trey, Jack, and Rook with an s/o that likes to nuzzle into their chest when hugging them?

If any of you write Sebek or Trey fics, please tag me in it. I would literally propose to you. Anyways, gender-neutral reader.

Trey Clover

He loves hugs, and you always greet him with one. It was a tradition that you had formed with how many times you visit Heartslabyul, and better yet when you just visit him. Today, you had texted him and said you were coming over and he was very excited to see you.

Once you entered the lounge, he opened his arms and you ran into them. However, as you were hugging his torso, you nuzzled into his chest and pushed him to the couch so you could further cuddle into his chest. The sudden display of affection definitely made the baker a tad flustered but he definitely loved it. He chucked a little before sinking and relaxing into the sofa cushions.

Leona Kingscholar

The two of you have a routine where you would go to class, get to your extracurricular, come back to Savanaclaw, and you would cuddle with him until the next morning. The two of you got Crowley’s permission too, because Leona came from a wealthy and influential royal family.

But this time was different. Once you jumped into his bed and snuggled up next to him, you cuddled specifically into his chest. His ears went flat against his head as he witnessed this adorable moment. His heart was pounding against his chest and his tail went to wrap around your waist as he started to fall asleep.

Jack Howl

He doesn’t have a ton of time to cuddle, but he will take advantage of it when he does. You go to his room because 1) it’s more structurally sound and 2) the entire room smells like him. It doesn’t matter to him, but he does get a little scared about you staying in Ramshackle because he is afraid you are going to get hurt.

Imagine his surprise when you went over to cuddle him and you tried to burrow into his chest. He was hoping that you didn’t hear how hard his heart was pounding against his chest, but you did and you weren’t going to say anything. After all, you knew that he was flustered enough.

Rook Hunt

He loves when you show him affection because he always showers you in his love. It may be true that he doesn’t have too much time, as he is an archer as well as a Vice Housewarden as well as a member of the science club, but he will always make time for his beloved in all of Twisted Wonderland. 

The two of you often meet up in the woods for some privacy, and you both will cuddle under a tree while he reads the newest poem that he made for you. Well, this specific time, he finished reading and he felt you snuggle further into his chest. He let out a loud gasp before making loud proclamations of his love for you in French.

Malleus Draconia

This man has not had the experience of cuddling someone before you came, and once you introduced it to him he was in love. He got to hold you close to his body as you both talked about whatever came to mind, and those moments were the ones that he treasured the most.

He usually met you at Ramshackle, and once he teleported into the living room of your dormitory you noticed him and ran into his arms. He carried you to your bed where a cuddle session ensued, but while you were getting comfortable you burrowed slightly into his chest. Malleus had never seen anything so adorable from his Child of Man, and he held you tighter..

Sebek Zigvolt

He is not used to affection of any variety, and it took him months to get used to holding hands with you. So, as you can imagine, cuddling is not a stage where you both are at yet. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, but he doesn’t know exactly what to do. Plus, he doesn’t have a lot of time, much like the others.

But in the time that he does have some free time, he enjoys sitting underneath a tree and reading a novel that he picked up from the library. You decided to join him one time and plopped yourself into his lap and nuzzled into his chest. The knight stiffened as his face was glowing red, not really sure how to process what was happening.

[harmonictechnicality]

model!steve and voice actor!Eddie (part 2)

part 1 here | ao3 link here | the temp is up on this one so like... dni if under 18 pls

Steve spends a lot of his spare time at the gym. Comes with the territory of modeling or whatever. Gotta keep himself strong, without developing bulging muscles. Gotta keep himself toned, without becoming too lean. Somewhat of a balancing act to this media fuckery circus.

Times are changing, yeah maybe. But not for puffy-lipped preps with killer bone structure. Steve still falls under the category of stereotypical Pretty Boy, and he’s chill with that. Fucking owns it.

Most days…

He’s currently cooling down on the treadmill - brisk walk, almost a jog. It’s a good pace for multitasking some adult shit that he needs to get done. Staying hydrated, keeping his photoshoot calendar up-to-date, answering a few emails. Yada yada.

Steve takes a swig of his seaweed (more like arsenic) smoothie. Opens the top email that reads:

The Fallen King - Final Commercial Cut

Right. Steve almost forgot about this particular shoot. Well, tried to repress the thoughts of that mega-douche director who kept referring to Steve’s ass as ‘prime real estate.’ Fucking creep.

He scrolls down to the attached file and slides his headphones back over his ears.

The ad opens with a wide shot of Steve draped over the throne, fog swelling around the bottom of the screen. The music is an eerie cello solo, set to a heavy bassline. 

Just another oversexualized cologne campaign, he thinks. Probably will barely feature the product because they paid big money for Steve’s body. Gotta get their fill of it (ha, they fucking wish Steve would fill them up).

But then the narration rolls into his ears and the room does a somersault. Practically inverts it’s axis at the sound dripping in Steve’s ears:

‘The mighty will fall from grace…’

“Oh shit.” Steve almost wipes out on the treadmill, has to catch his fall on the side bars. His knees are tingling, calves molten and shaky. Already half hard, which is definitely going to be a problem in these flimsy, mesh gym shorts.

‘Forbidden love and public slander…’

But that voice. That tone. That sinful register set in the minor key of Holy Fuck.

‘Will bring them to their knees.’

Alright, that fucking does it. Steve pauses the video before he’s fully tenting-out in a goddamn fitness center. Packs up his shit, chucks the sludge smoothie in the trash, and finds an empty stall. Emphatically locks it.

“Agh, damnit!” Steve's thumb slips over the screen and exits out of the video. It scrolls back to the top of the email - a new message has been added to the chain.

Seriously, what obnoxious fucker does ‘Reply All’ these days?

The new message reads:

Great work, team. (Sorry for being such a vocal slut.)

(… Not that sorry though.) - Eddie Munson

That’s right - the voice artist. Almost didn’t recognize the voice, but the repressed memory of that day comes flying to the surface when Steve sees the name. 

He recalls the guy being objectively cute too. Not in the California ‘sun-kissed skin’ kind of way. More in the Seattle ‘rain forces me to be a pale homebody’ kind of way. His eyes were something else though. They reminded Steve of the sepia tone filters he used in his early modeling portfolio. No way in hell Steve could ever forget knockout eyes like that.

The locker room is empty. Steve reopens the video, raises the volume high enough to mute out the thin hum from the air conditioning unit. Only wants to hear Eddie’s voice. That’s it. 

He’s already touching himself when the first phrase falls out of the headphones. Can’t even help it now that he’s alone. It’s all too good. Works himself up all stuffy and sensitive by the time the new part comes up:

‘Drenched in their guilt. Soaked in their shame.’

Fucking christ.

‘Choking on worthless confessions…’

Nope. Nope. Absolutely not. Choking? Worthless? What is this, a sado hotline? Steve feels the heat spreading on his neck, flushed over in a non-exercise way. There’s a thump in his dick, has to squeeze his fingers around it. Like his body needs a reminder to calm the fuck down.

‘Until all that is left of them is desolate darkness.’

Pretty sure the raspy exhale after every phrase is going to do Steve in, saturate his last ounce of dignity with want. Eddie’s breathing is taking Steve’s breath away, and that’s an outright mindfuck. Earfuck. 

Something is getting fucked, and somehow, Steve still needs more.

While the song sustains, Steve strokes himself to the percussive rhythm. 

‘The Fallen King. The scent of secrets.’

The hiss on the last syllable fades into the music till everything fizzles out, going dead silent.

Well, everything goes silent except for Steve, who is utterly rattled. Can hear his dense breath and it’s way too noisy for a public space. The pulse in his neck is irregular, hitched the fuck up. His smartwatch is buzzing, alerting him that his heart rate is elevated, which duh. His whole body feels like it underwent some sexual awakening in the middle of a fitness center. 

And, sure. That’s a common place for people to realize how gay and desperate they are, but not like this. Not with zero visuals of sweaty bodies. 

Before he starts the video over to… finish the job, a phone call lights up his screen. Because of course it does.

He reads the name and swipes it open. “What’s up, Buckley?”

“I need coffee.” Robin whines, already pouting into the phone speaker no doubt. 

“You always need coffee.”

“Yeah but like… it tastes better when you buy me coffee.”

“Oh, so you want to mooch off of your own client?” Steve teases because he can. They can annoy the shit out of each other and write it off as endearment. “Pretty unprofessional of you, Ms. Manager.”

Robin groans. Makes it a long one too - probably to show off both her annoyance and lung capacity. “Fuck all the way off, you were my friend first. Always friends first.”

“Always friends first.” Steve agrees. She’s right, usually is about most things. Robin has been his manager since his last agency went bankrupt from pouring their funds into promoting Fyre Fest. And everyone knows that turned out to be an entire fuckshow.

Honestly, it’s easier this way - Robin being his manager. They get to hang out more, he has more input on gigs that he’s interested in…

Interested in. Huh. The metaphorical lightbulb flicks on in Steve’s voice-drunk brain. Having his best friend as his manager is also convenient when Steve needs the phone number of a certain co-worker.

“Alright, fine.” Steve has a sly grin on as he talks. “I’ll bring over some coffee.”

“Thank god.”

“If!”

“Ugh.”

He huffs out a laugh. “If you can send me the cast and crew contact sheet from the Fallen King commercial.”

“Ew, why?” Robin asks, sounds totally repulsed. Valid, that shoot was Objectification Station.

But truly, Steve’s not in the mood to make up an excuse. He’s sore and sweaty and half-hard. So he just gets to the damn point. “Look, do you want coffee or not?”

“Okay okay.” That’s one way to speed up the process. Caffeine threats - works every time. “Dropping the file to you now.” 

“You’re the best.” Steve sings.

“I know, I know.” And the line clicks dead.

Okay. This is not a booty call, it’s not.

Steve is just texting a semi-stranger to tell him that his voice is potentially the hottest thing he’s ever heard. Okay, he’ll definitely phrase it better than that, maybe throw a few emojis in there to normalize the tone. Soften it up to sound very un-stalkery.

Yeah. Not a booty call. And if Eddie happens to send an audio message, and Steve happens to jerk off to it… still not a booty call, right?

Pathetic, maybe. But not basic, thank fuck.

He types, then re-types the message out way too many times before settling on this:

Steve: Great work on the commercial voiceover! Got ur number from the call sheet. hope that’s cool.

Steve hits send before realizing he didn’t have the goddamn common sense to introduce himself. He’s not even a rookie at hookups, why is he suddenly so frazzled by this guy?

“This is Steve by the way…” he mumbles into an audio message. Hits send, then quickly makes another:

“The… model guy.”

The model guy? What in the flustered hell is going on with him?

A chime notification goes off maybe two minutes after Steve sends the last message. Which is like… hot. Shameless fast texters are a millennial turn-on, for sure.

It’s a voice text, so Steve takes thirty seconds to calm down whatever involuntary throb just happened in his sweatpants. He sucks in some air and presses play:

“Pretty sure all the kids these days just send a ‘u up’ message to people they wanna dick down at midnight.”

Damn. Eddie’s voice sounds totally different, but just as sexy. Like amateur porn sexy. Is amateur audio porn a thing? It should be.

Steve quickly saves the audio file and types back.

Steve:  Ok pls don’t mention ‘kids’ while I’m trying to flirt with u

Eddie: Waitwaitwait So we're definitely flirting right now? I actually interpreted that correctly?

Steve: Like u said It’s midnight So… *shrug emoji*

And a phone call comes through. Eddie’s contact name flashing in a harsh light, too blinding and too unexpected. Steve’s heart is hammering at his rib cage, suddenly so fucking nervous. He waits until the last ring to answer, buys himself some time cause god knows, he needs it.

Steve takes a breath and swallows. “He-”

“Okay, so you do realize this is the sewer rat voice actor guy from the commercial shoot, right?” Eddie interrupts, sounds out of breath. “And not like… a fellow model or Timothee Chalamet’s cousin or something?”

That earns a hearty laugh and eye-roll from Steve. “He is so not my type.”

“Thought he was everyone’s type.”

“Nah.” Steve rolls onto his belly, very giddy and disarmed by the ease of the exchange. His nerves are set aside, replaced with his usual confidence. “More into sewer rat voice actor guys.”

“That… is some very specific criteria.” Eddie coughs or maybe it's just a dry laugh. He sounds pleased as hell, so laugh seems more likely. “Holy shit, I’m flirting with a model!”

“You’re cute." Steve should not be so charmed right now, but the impulsive honesty is really doing it for him. "Dorky, but cute.” 

Eddie mumbles something incoherent, then clears his throat. Speaks quieter this time. “So why’d you text?”

“So why’d you call?”

“Just, uh… needed confirmation that this is real life.”

Steve lets out a ‘hmm,’ thinks of a proper response to that. “If I was there, I could pinch you. Ya know... so you’d know it’s real.” Okay. Maybe not proper, but whatever. It’s late. His brain is half scrambled from hormones and exhaustion, cut him some slack.

“Would do a lot more than pinch you if you were actually here.” And sure, Eddie might have mumbled that, but Steve clearly heard it. He heard exactly what Eddie just suggested.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Fuck, we’re doing this?” Eddie whispers.

Steve turns onto his back again, lets his hand wander down. “If you’re into that. Like hearing your voice, Eddie.”

“Like hearing you say my name like that.” And Eddie sounds like he means it. His tone is smoothing over, the same way it did in the narration. “You sound so worked up already.”

Steve moans, chest falling hard enough that the phone slips. Has to reposition it to get all that good vocal seduction back in his ear.

“God, wish I could see what you look like right now.” Eddie exhales, getting that nice rasp that Steve likes so much. It’s sultry and rich. Breathless at just the right moments. “Bet you’re lying down, aren’t you? Phone wedged between your neck and ear cause your hands are too busy to hold it properly. Am I right?”

“Yeah.” Steve pushes past the waistband of his sweatpants, then his boxers.

Eddie hums. Growls. “The things I’d do to you like that. Lying down, looking so eager to please. Saw how good you are at taking direction that day of the shoot. Does that apply in the bedroom too, baby?”

“It… fuck.” Steve strokes himself slowly. Can barely get the words out cause it feels like he's chewing on Eddie's voice. Swallowing every syllable. “Yeah, it does.”

“See - that’s the problem, isn’t it?”

“Problem?”

“That I don’t know what you’re into. How you like it.”

“Pretty open to… trying things.” Steve reassures, eyes closing to soak in every sensation. “Just keep talking.”

And thank all that is holy, Eddie does just that. He keeps talking. “Can’t stop thinking about that pretty neck of yours. How I’d kiss it, suck on it till your skin goes tender and soft under my lips. Till your head rolls back like it did in that video.”

Eddie's words are syrup. Heavy and tempting. “I’d let you rest it on my shoulder while I get my hands all over you. See what sweet spots drive you wild, get you to squirm for me.”

Steve's grip tightens, pumping at a pace that’s close to getting fucked. A pace that makes it easier to pretend that it’s Eddie’s hand wrapped around him, making his vision blurred and spotty - even with his eyes screwed shut.

“Eddie, you’re… oh my god.” Steve whines, knows it must be pretty fucking loud with the speaker smushed against his cheek. “You’re so good at this.”

Eddie shushes him, sounds like he’s snickering a bit. “I’d tease you like that until your thighs start to tremble. Until you beg me to go further. End the torture.”

“Fucking christ…please.” Guess Steve really is that good at taking direction. Or maybe he’s extra easy for guys that turn his brain into liquor. Too busy begging to know which one it might be. “Keep going.”

Eddie’s laugh is dark and rough. “Sounds nice hearing you beg like that. Like sin.”

Feels like sin too. 

Steve’s fingers are slicked nicely with precome. The friction of his palm is making everything warmer, better. And stirring all of those feelings up with Eddie’s voice? Fucking hell, Steve is close. He’s so damn- “Okay, okay. If we don’t stop, I’m gonna-”

“I know.” Eddie purrs, sweetly mean. “Thought that was the point.”

“Cannot believe I'm about to say this, but maybe…” Steve has to dig his hand out from his boxers to complete the sentence. Knocks his head against the wall because his behavior is totally batshit right now. “Maybe I want to see you again first? Is that weird?”

His skin sort of tingles from going this long without finishing. Never solved the blue-balling issue back at the gym either, so Steve’s on the verge of climax insanity right now. Didn’t think he’d discover an edging kink at the ripe age of twenty-five, but eureka. Here it is.

“Not weird.” Eddie’s voice returns back to a calmer one. The one that doesn’t make Steve want to bend over and get fucked so hard that his organs shift around. “I mean, I’m weird, sure. But wanting to complete this in person is not weird. Very un-weird, in fact.”

“You talk a lot.”

“Yeah well… voice actor.” Eddie says, sort of deadpan. “You couldn’t see that, but I just did ‘razzle dazzle’ hands.”

Shit, Steve really likes this guy. He just used the phrase ‘razzle dazzle hands,’ and Steve is still horny for him. Wow.

“Is tomorrow too soon?” Steve manages to say before overthinking it.

“Tomorrow-tomorrow, or like today-tomorrow?” Eddie asks. “Cause it’s past midnight.”

Right. Booty call time moves at an entirely different pace than normal time does. “Today-tomorrow. If you’re free.”

“Free as a dead composer’s anthology of music.” Eddie answers happily.

Steve opens his mouth to respond, then shuts it because what? What does that even mean? Is that a yes or a no? Goddamnit, his head hurts. Too many questions, not enough orgasms.

“Most classical music is royalty-free.” Eddie clears his throat, sounds like he’s tapping on something. “… So yeah. I’m free.”

“Right.” Steve chuckles, hard to believe he’s unapologetically gushing. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, Eddie.”

“Great. See you today, Steve.” Eddie is still snorting at his own joke while the call ends.

They haven’t sorted out any of the details yet, but it doesn’t matter. It’s happening. It’s real.

So real, that he wants an actual date with Eddie before steamy phone sex. He wants to make Eddie laugh before making him come. That's like... unheard of for Steve. Uncharted.

Damn.

Today-tomorrow can’t come soon enough.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Unknown Ep 7 Brain Rot Moments

First of all, this show is incredible. 

Second of all, I haven’t stopped thinking about certain parts of this episode and that means I want to write about them. But I have absolutely no idea what there is to say besides “!!!!!!” 

So I guess here are the small movements of the episode I cannot get over:

The way Qian’s hand hits the couch and bounces on to his lap when San Pang asks him if he has feelings for Yuan. And I honestly can’t tell how much of what I love about it comes from the motion itself, this loss of strength that drops his arm limp beside him when faced with such a question, or if it is the sound of his hand hitting the couch that really sells it for me. The sound when Qian’s hand hits the couch is short and sharp and for some reason that noise feels like an answer to me. Especially because it is followed by silence from Qian. For me, Qian’s hand hitting the couch is his admission.

I don’t think this line was an intentional call back to last week’s episode and it certainly isn’t structured for peak emotional impact, but that does not mean that hearing San Pang tell Qian to stand straight didn’t immediately give me war flashbacks to Qian telling Yuan to stand straight in the midst of Yuan’s confession in Episode 6

Just so many parts of the phone call, probably like all of the phone call scene is just gonna be burnt in to my skull for a considerable time, but especially the way Chris is so legible in expressing Qian’s hesitation, and the way that Kurt is so legible in expressing Yuan’s desperation. I loved the initial panic of Qian feeling the weight of what he was about to do and trying to bail out, the way that Yuan immediately calls him back because he is not going to let this opportunity sneak past, the way that Qian is breathing, how tense he is, how much he has to breathe to steady himself, to mentally prepare to answer the phone and have this conversation.

gifs by @ueasking

How tiny Yuan’s voice is, contrasted with how big his eyes are when he says hello because he can’t believe that this is actually happening. 

How awkward Qian is here, this may perhaps be the most awkward I have seen Qian act. There is so much uncertainty in this conversation with him, the way he has to pull the “how have you been?” question out of his own head, the way he chews his lip as he listens to Yuan’s life updates.

The way Yuan’s lower jaw moves when he is desperately trying to find other topics of conversation, other questions he can ask Qian to keep this conversation going longer. The way that his silence goes on just long enough for Qian to get the “anything else?” question out. The way his jaw moves and his eyes widen and he leans forward when Qian says “bye bye.” It’s exactly the type of reaction I would see from someone trying to physically reach out to someone that is just beyond their grasp. He can’t yell wait to a dial tone.

gif by @ueasking

The way Qian starts to notice Yuan. He fully has not see his face at this point, he hasn’t heard his voice, or his name. But he is staring at Yuan’s shoes with his mouth slightly agape, because he recognizes them.

The way his eyes eventually work their way up in his disbelief, to look at Yuan’s head. The way that he immediately reaches out to Yuan, puts his hand on Yuan’s shoulder. It makes me think about how much Qian wants to, needs to be connected to Yuan. Because the time between when he figures out who is standing in front of him and placing a hand on his shoulder is near instantaneous.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Following that, the way Yuan slides Qian’s hand off of his shoulder when he is talking with the businessmen. I do not know what it is about that moment, but considering the preview for Episode 8, it feels very in keeping with a character that is playing hard to get. Even if that isn’t the case here, in front of all of these coworkers is definitely not the place for intimate touching between brothers.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

I am also thinking about how that does not dissuade Qian, who then reaches straight for Yuan’s neck. Something tells me these side of the neck/side of the face touches are not platonic or brotherly… but I regardless I appreciate the way that Unknown affirms Qian’s reciprocated feelings for Yuan by having him be the one initiating a lot of physical contact after barely being around much less touching people. I think the only time we see Qian initiate physical contact before Yuan’s return is when he grabs San Pang’s arm to stop him from contacting Yuan.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

The way that Yuan cares for Qian once they are in the taxi and heading home, the gentle removal of Qian’s glasses, tucking Qian’s tie in to his left pocket, right over his heart. The way that the tie sticks up just a bit so you can see a piece of Qian poking through

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

The way Qian does not resist at all when Yuan reaches over and slips his arm behind Qian’s neck. The way that Qian lets himself slide further and further until his head is resting against Yuan’s shoulder. Yuan did not pull Qian down, Yuan didn’t push, Qian fully moved THE WAY YUAN RUBS HIS THUMB AGAINST QIAN’S UPPER ARM.

gif by @aejeonghae

The way Yuan breathes in this scene to regulate himself because a lot has just happened, because Qian is Right There, because Qian reached out, because Qian is touching him, because he is back home after four years with a lot of uncertainty hanging in the air.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

I don’t know about anyone else, but I will be thinking about Yuan putting his hand around Qian’s waist as Qian walks towards the bed. This is an entirely unnecessary action from a movement standpoint as in Qian is able to walk on his own, and Yuan slides this hand to settle at Qian’s waist as they walk, so he isn’t using it as a way to support or steer Qian. That feels like a stolen moment for Yuan, and opportunity for him to hold Qian in ways he has wanted to.

The massage Qian is getting from both Lili and Yuan, this is such an interesting moment for me because it places Yuan’s action here firmly in the familial, siblings category since he and Lili are performing the exact same action. And not only that but they are bickering like siblings do while they massage Qian’s shoulders. Unknown does not and will not stop reminding its audience what this story is about, who this romance is between. Yuan being adopted, Yuan being sent away for four years does not make Yuan any less of a brother to Qian or Lili. They did this earlier in the taxi too, Yuan tells the businessmen that Qian is his brother, Qian tells the businessmen Yuan is his little brother. The time and the distance has not changed how they view each other, they do not lie about the nature of their relationship to one another. There is no fresh start here.

THE EYEBROW QUIRK. GOD I THINK THIS IS MY FAVORITE MOMENT OF THE EPISODE. I literally cannot even explain why, I could not tell you what Qian is reacting to here. Personally I think it is an attraction to Yuan thing, that it’s as much of an admission of his feelings for Yuan as the sound of his hand hitting the couch was.

This tired, but genuinely happy smile, dimple and all, hearing Lili and Yuan bickering in the hallway. Yuan and Lili are here. Yuan and Lili are being ridiculous. Yuan and Lili have fallen right back in to their dynamic despite the time apart. Everything is as it should be. Yuan is here. Everything is going to change. Yuan is here. Yuan is here. Yuan is here.

gif by @ueasking

I have said it before and I will say it again that I am not a fan of incest plotlines, I especially have a lot of qualms around romantic and sexual relationships between adoptive siblings, partially because I think it undercuts the fact that they are family. It bothered me in The Fosters, it overwhelmingly bothers me in Umbrella Academy, it bothers me when “we may actually be related” plotlines are added to things (looking at you Shadowhunters series). I recognize a pattern with the ones that I hate being all heterosexual relationships, and I think some of that hatred stems from the fact that a lot of these plots exist because there aren’t enough women in those stories. 

I find it interesting that I had no problems with Ai Di and Chen Yi in Kiseki: Dear to Me because we never see them being raised together and thus there is a massive separation. And I currently don’t have any problems with Qian and Yuan inevitably getting together, for precisely the opposite reason. Unknown has really put the time and effort into showing the dynamics, into building the childhood, in to seeing where these characters came from, into turning these characters into siblings. Yuan understands from the beginning why he should not confess to Qian. Qian reacts to Yuan’s confession in a way I think is realistic. They have four years of no contact, they have four years to reflect on what happened that day, how they feel about each other. They have four years to see what life is like without the other person there, if they can survive it. And Qian cannot. 

But Unknown is not going to let us forget that these are brothers. San Pang knows it is wrong but doesn’t have the words to express it. His aparpent relationship to Lili will serve as an interesting parallel to Qian and Yuan’s relationship because San Pang considers them all family, considers Qian his brother, and yet here he is dating a member of that family. Idk I guess I just feel like they are handling the contents of this show very well, and I am going feral for the physicality of these actors. 

[filurig]

a guy ive had in mind for a whileee its a crime i havent actually made an oc of my faeries yet so this guy!! this guy is actually the faerie that provides folke with funky fantasy hrt. more on them (and a bit about faeries) under the cut...

krillimir, or as they're known to many non-faeries, (spider's web) glasswing, is a rather newly adult faerie, having emerged about 3 years ago from their pupae. a bit of a free spirit in comparison to other faeries, they hail from the Hemarikkit Till colony to the south of vätterunda, perhaps the largest colony in the area with its main structures occupying a sunlit forest grove. due to the size and relatively stable nature of the colony, there was not a lot of pressure/demand on newly emerged faeries to take up a specific role, and krillimir preferred to keep their options open and thus chose to identify as a generalist.

generalist faeries can kind of take on less specific work than other faerie genders usually do, and especially work which involves collaboration with other species, and curious about the world outside of the colony, krillimir applied to be a participant in the colony's medical program - basically all faerie colonies have a medical program which involves a collaboration with the area's local tomtar, who will provide them with illusory magic to maintain their settlements and keep them hidden/protected. in return, the faeries offer their faerie dust, which can be finely tuned to affect an organism's hormone levels (as well as some other biochemicals) - this of course can be used to treat certain conditions, or as a way to alleviate pain, etc.

gullmar, who is folke's "tomte uncle" in a way, ended up visiting the Hemarikkit Till colony in search of a faerie that could help with folke's Trans Gender Blues (aka: provide him with hrt, after gullmar realised that folke was trans) and the freshly emerged krillimir would be assigned to him. due to the nature of the assignment, krillimir would just be permanently assigned to gullmar and comes by the granholm residence once every few months to readjust folke's hormone levels to the proper ones when the T levels start to fall off. while gullmar can find the faerie a bit neurotic and too energetic, their relationship grows to become amicable - a part of gullmar probably feels a fatherly instinct towards them hehe.

some extra faerie stuff i thought about making this guy so ill include:

faeries do not have a directly "spoken" language like we do, and communicate mostly through pheromones, body gestures and sounds like squeaking, trilling and hissing. they can communicate with other species through their pheromones, but as they communicate with said species in the target's language, things like names are often just directly translated. "krillimir" means "spider's web glass wing". how do we have the "romanization" of their name then? Well through some convoluted shenanigans. basically - tomtar have an anda-powered ability to learn the language of other species. with enough exposure and socialisation they will just naturally begin to gain an understanding of that language, and their ability has led them to be able to learn faerie language, especially helped by it also existing in a written form. while faeries don't speak this written language, it is how they conceptualise more complex ideas internally (the internal voice so to speak) - with the tomte ability, they can somewhat approximate what the language would sound like if spoken - at least filtered through the tomte brain. its most definitely not 100% accurate to what it would sound like though but most faeries accept it as close enough. this probably makes no sense but erm it sorta makes sense to me. LOL. but it means that most species that haven't learn to read faerie will only hear the literal translation when a faerie introduces themself, and thus many call krillimir by glasswing for short.

krillimir is a "generalist", which is one of many faerie genders. i made a post about it a while back! they go by they/them but generally doesn't mind he/she either.

faerie clothing is generally made of a fabric woven together by silk produced by them themselves - this silk is mainly produced by broodtenders or generalists. they also have a special way of "tanning" leaves, ending up with them having leather-like properties, which is part of what krillimir's outfit is made out of there! very popular reccuring symbols in their fabric design are "eye" "mimicry" and sometimes patterns which mimic some other animal/creature.

[iheartgeto]

𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 | 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘢

𝙘𝙬 : mild fluff, explicit smut, stomach bulge, unprotected/rough sex, pussies, creampie, slight edging, grinding, blood, biting, suggestive/graphic language, slight exibitionism, mutual pining, plot w/ smut, “baby” nickname

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 : sunato banda x f! reader ; banda finally meets someone with similar taste.

𝙬𝙘: 3.4k

𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 : nsfw ; unedited 

The rough wad of a paper towel itched your skin as you crumbled and lightly threw your marked napkin in frustration.

“fuck this all” you muttered, gripping your hair—slight pain casting on you from the tightness of your pull.

The second to last circle you had drawn out on the napkin had finally been crossed out. You used this puny tissue to keep track of your days, in hopes you’d never run out of them. However, you had one circle left, and only a day left on your visa.

kicking the gravel along the wide path, you eyed the large blimp floating atop this place of confinement. A jack. The jack of hearts— Not a queen or king, but the “easiest” of the face cards. actually- don’t even kid yourself. you picked the dry skin off your fingers in a nervous fit as you walked through the gates of the penitentiary. you zipped up your jacket, covering the bikini top (complimentary from the beach, a place that served you basically no purpose other than surviving these games) that revealed more than your liking.

whatever, that place was long gone thanks to chishiya, kuina, and the rest of his crazy gang. gladly you had been on decent terms with them, even going so far as to help him gain parts for his weird invention. he required a specific part that seemed to be needed to spread heat? probably made some stupid crap to smoke or cook up a barbecue, whatever weird shit that freak was up to.

Making your way through the entrance, you came to a stop. The white luminescent lights buzzed through the empty hallway as your heart beat was getting faster and faster. Albeit your immense nervousness, you kept a rested expression. The game hadn’t even started yet but you were shaking. this was exciting.

“Put on a collar and go upstairs to the central guard room”.

two black collars rested in front of you. The glossy table stared up at you as you contemplated your decision in joining. Not like you had a choice, it was either this or the red beam of death from the sky. might as well try to live, regardless of how shitty this situation was. you wouldn’t let your misery consume you. or at least that’s how most people would approach life.

you simply strived to live. if you were gonna die, it would be through one these stupid fucking games—not from drowning in the depths of your own self loathing. even then, you still didn’t want these randoms to be the cause of your anticlimactic death. this world was quite beautiful anyways. the intensity, complexity, and structure of this newfound world was simply beautiful. this elysian paradise was addicting. because of this, you would let yourself have fun. just win this game for the small reward of life and some entertainment.

finally, a place for you to let loose and have some real fun.

Suddenly, the faint sound of footsteps grew closer and closer, knocking you out of your short-lived daze. the man stopped next to you, slowly observing the beautiful scenery of dirty bleak walls and prison cells. he smirked, and closed his eyes with a serene look. it was as if he was home. you observed his face with jealousy— you longingly wished for your nerves to wash away and feel this lost sense of serenity.

“do you think this will be fun?” you asked, a polite smile etching your face as you observed his features. his broad shoulders covering you even while trying to make small talk. “i really hope it will”.

“most definitely” he replied, eyes curling into mini crescents yet his overall face remained unphased.

“hm, i agree. but would you mind helping me with this? i’m not sure how to close this lock” you looked up at him. your doe eyes glistened in the white light as he stared you down.

“of course, come closer” he said. his voice was low and smooth, the kind you could listen to all day. his hot hands moved your hair away from your neck to allow the lock to clasp. however, his hands rested on your throat a little longer than expected. he slowly massaged the place where the lock had clasped and bent down to your ear, his hot breath skipping over your skin. he sees your hands trembling and grasps them to stop it as he caresses your palm.

“it feels nice to know someone else is excited to play this game, it seems to me that we are quite alike” he whispered lowly, as if he didn’t want anyone else to hear this reveal.

you knew damn well how to lock this simple little collar, but why miss your chance with a man who caught your attention.

“maybe we are, thanks and good luck then”, you smiled cheerfully, patting him on the back, walking past him into the main prison area. he stared at your back, grinning at his newfound infatuation.

as you made your way into the main area, you glanced at the crowd around you. the majority was tense and filled with fear. you almost burst out laughing after seeing this blond haired man. chishiya seemed to be alive and well. good for him.

“long time no see, never’d expect to see you here chishiya”, you stood next to him.

“there's many places i’d rather be” he replied, not looking back and staring at the screen in front of him. there was no need to catch up as you both knew the situation. you both understood that the catching up could come after the game.

“you may pass time anywhere you like until it is time to enter a prison cell”

There was an awkward silence going around, until people decided to start grouping up and leave.

“hey let’s tell each other” a timid man in overalls and a yellow shirt turned to you and chishiya. you nodded in agreement—sounded like a decent idea.

“If you want to survive you need to observe everyone closely, do you want to know what they were doing before the game began?”, chishiya remarked, the three of you turned in the direction of a couple in suits. chishiya went on to explain in graphic detail, causing the poor man to cringe.

“that guy’s confidence won’t let her get involved with anyone else”.

“I was thinking the exact same thing”, you said with amusement.

Watching from above, the three of you observed a pair that seemed to be making a deal. The man from earlier, and another one with a dark aura. Glancing at the screen you find out their names are banda and matsushita. The girl with a blue dress then asked the three of you to join her team. The three of you didn't mind, so you decided to join. Chishiya, overalls, and you exchanged signs and just tagged along with the group.  And that was the end of the first round.

“Hurry up and tell me, fucker!” a rough voice screamed, throwing a poor man in front of everyone. banda went to his rescue and whispered into his ear. sly bitch. you and chishiya glanced at each other, as you knew you saw the same thing.

The group of people then continued on with their antics of telling eachother their signs. From across the room you met his cold gaze. He was seated on the floor, staring blankly at you. You stared back, harnessing a smile in which he returned and waved. Chishiya observed the two of you, a little freaked out by your “kind” facade. And if chishiya was freaked out, then the poor guy next to him was petrified at the interaction in front of him.

The group migrated to the snack room, and from there the game went downhill. Everyone slowly began lying to each other, leaving only your group of three and the two pairs. However, your kind friend could not handle the intensity of the game. an explosion being heard a few cells away from yours.

“he was far too kind hearted for this game” chishiya sighed. You glanced at his bloodied body through the holes of the cell.

“he’s the kind of person i want to be”, you replied. heaving a long exhale of slight sadness at the sight of the poor boy.

“It’s not too late for that, but i think it's about time we start socializing, '' he replied with sarcastic enthusiasm.

“funny coming from you” you scoffed, but understood what he meant. Chishiya would stay in the snack cellar while you would go upstairs and watch. As you started up the stairs you passed by matsushita, paying him no mind as you knew what this meant. banda would be by himself. Being in such a rush you trip on yourself, bracing yourself to fall face forward til someone stops you.

Banda catches you, pulling you in tight for an unexpected hug. “thanks for catching me there”,  you smile, your warm hand meeting his, as he holds you in his embrace. “you even helped out that poor guy who was being bullied— i mean he’s gone now but what did you say to him anyways, some words of encouragement? you seem like such a nice person”.

“thanks, but i’m not fucking stupid” he replied with a silent smile. “drop the act y/n. judging from the way you’re approaching me— you know damn well what i said, c’mon you’re a smart girl right?”. he grabs your wrist, pulling you up as he then corners you against the wall, a dark area of the prison covered by a turn.

“I’m actually pretty dumb” you paused, banda laughed. lowly chuckling at your poor attempts to conceal your true self. “so tell me, why would you encourage him to lie?— you made such a mess of everyone and now we’re the only ones left” you stare up at him, his patronizing gaze looking down at you. you were so close his breath barely touched you. “you aren’t the jack, are you?”.

“who knows? why are you in this game anyways? you don’t really seem like the type”. this conversation was amusing him, you could see it in his expression that he was enjoying this to the fullest.

“what do i seem like then”, you asked. pure curiosity leaking out of your statement, placing a hand to your chin, mocking his question.

“a cute girl who’s letting on less than she really is”, banda relayed, a cold expression etching his face.

his response caught you off guard. “so what if i am? better to appear lower than others than have people at my neck trying to bring me down”, you replied with haste. god, you were so adorable when you were worried. this was getting him excited.

“well smart girl, what do you really think about this game? this place even?”. he kept questioning you, making you feel on edge. you couldn’t tell where this was going.

“I don’t care how you view this place banda, but for me i feel free. i can do whatever i want as long as i play these fun games— i mean sometimes they aren’t so much fun, it’s like a hassle i guess, but it’s a fair price —and they always lead me to interesting people like you”, you replied, slightly afraid of being judged.

banda watched you speak with ease. he was so intrigued with your tinge of confidence and slight intelligence. he also thought you were really damn cute for thinking you could fool him. not knowing how to lock a simple collar? c’mon you were better than that baby. he knew you wanted him, but he wanted you more.  he wanted to corrupt you. fuck your cute little brains up and make you his. mold you to match his lovely thoughts on the borderlands. you both already enjoyed the place and you were just too entertaining to not keep around.

“we really are similar”, he said with a crazed relief, caressing your cheek and staring at you in awe. “until now, i’ve never been in a land as beautiful as this one, nor met two people so worthy of my trust”.

“i suppose matsushita is just as agreeable as i am then?” you joke, pulling his hand off your cheek and lengthening the distance between you two. he was making you feel a type of way. you felt your body  getting warmer and your breath getting ragged.

“no, not him at all— he’s a very condescending individual, but i guess that’s the only redeeming quality of his. i met yaba a while ago, we are equals in which we agree this place is a true paradise and that we trust each other enough to deduce who the jack is”. he pauses, and continues to keep his focus on your face. “matsushita’s confidence kinda reminds me of you” he jokes.

“god, my “confidence”— or whatever the hell you’re even referring to doesn’t mean anything. don’t group me with people like matsushita, I didn’t even have to speak to him to tell he was a cocky bitch!”, you became defensive and bursted out.

“there’s the y/n i was looking for”, banda commented. you sensed some sarcasm and wished to settle whatever he was going off about. you hated that he felt the need to tease you—honestly maybe you enjoyed it, you just wanted to be on decent terms.

“i really don’t think i’m better than you—if that’s what your insinuating, but i do feel like we have similar tastes. and for that i trust you—want to be friends?”. for a moment you stared at each other as you awaited for his response. you wanted to be friends? how naive could you fucking be? banda wanted to erupt with laughter and slap you in the face as he ruined you.

“oh we’re gonna be more than friends” he whispered. your cheeks became redder as he kept getting closer, and you were letting him. “let’s make a deal, i’ll tell you your symbol if you help me”. his hard tent rutted against your leg as you felt him knee your soaking pussy. His leg began applying pressure to your needy clit.

“c- chishiya would tell me my symbol so why—

“then this is just an excuse to fuck your soaking little cunt. i like you”, he confessed, as if he was a schoolboy asking out a girl for the first time. his face was flushed red as he started sucking your neck, leaving a trail of purple kisses down to your chest. Banda unzipped your jacket, revealing the bikini from the beach. his rough hands slid your bikini under your boobs. you felt heated up as he sucked your tits. His head tilted as his mouth kept continuing to lick your buds, groaning as you grew sensitive to his touch.

“i- i like you too”, you whimpered, airy breaths leaving your mouth. “please..!” you mewled, as he continued to suck.

“please what? gotta use your words baby” he smirked as his thumb circled your airway. he sensually massaged it as his lips met yours, his teeth sinking into the flesh of your soft lips.

"A-Ah..!" you gasped, a small trail of blood leaked down the corner of your lip. his mind clouded with lust as he lapped up the red liquid. “you taste so fucking good” he groaned. “what do you want my sweet girl?”

“ i want- need you so bad- please!”, you continued to whimper his name, constantly reciting it as if it were a sacred prayer. “i want you to ruin me with your fat cock!” you quietly screamed. you couldn’t take it anymore, you needed him so bad. he suddenly began removing his pants, the fast sound of his buckle dropping to the floor echoed throughout the hallway. you glanced in awe, he was big. how the hell would he even fit? his meat slapped the lower area of his stomach as his tip leaked with pre cum. he pumped his veiny length, lathering it in his own liquid, and stuck his long fingers in your mouth.

“mmgph!” you almost choked at how deep he stuck them in. but it tasted too good. so sweet and musky.

you circled your tongue his fingers, lapping up whatever he gave you. this caused him to smirk as he released his fingers from your mouth, causing a pop sound to echo. he slowly sunk his cock inside of your soppy cunt, hands gripping your waist as his hard length went inside you. he bit his lips, and his eyes were laced with ecstasy as your right walls shaped around him. you were so fucking tight.

“god you were made for me—your all mine- shit” he groaned, intertwining your hands and kissing you hardly. you replied with sweet moans, and watched his pace get faster and his strokes get deeper. lewd pants filled the hallway as his heavy balls slapped your clit, pounding you against the wall. you were both so oblivious to your surroundings, clouded only with the thought of each other’s touch and the feeling of release. you felt every one of his veins as he took you raw. his large cock shaped your pussy, as a bulge could be seen. banda groaned at the sight, lightly pressing down on it as you both moaned in pleasure. tears dripped from the corner of your eyes as banda watched you in ecstasy. you were so fucking beautiful.

you arched your back as he finally hit that spot. “r-right there banda please- please don’t stop” you sighed. “you feel so good princess ugh fuck” he groaned out, continuing his rough pace. your tits bounced up and down as he rammed into you, fucking you with a pure high. he felt as if you were a drug, one that he could never get enough of.

“i- i’m so close, i’m gonna cum!” you exclaimed with a volume. banda smirked, letting go of your hand to rub the edge of your pussy. the two of you were covered in sweat and saliva. “come for me y/n”. then it hit you hard, like a tsunami. you threw your head back, biting your lips in attempt to contain your deep moan. you let out silent screams as he continued to harshly ram into you, chasing his own high. your tongue lolled out of your mouth and eyes hazed with pleasure as the only thing you could think about was banda.

his eyes stared at the messy sight before him as he suddenly choked out a deep groan. “fuck baby mmph- you took me so well”. your white pleasure gushed around his cock, leaking out of your cunt. a white ring of cum covered his length as he continued to ram into you. and then his orgasm hit, filling your cunt with thick cum as your pussy pulsed and your body spasmed. his legs shook at how hard he came, and he pressed his forehead against yours, the both of you basking in each other’s heat. your brains were fogged from the intensity the both of you had just endured.

“i- i really like you y/n, i want to be with you forever”, he whispered over the two of you catching yours breaths. you would’ve drifted off to sleep if banda hadn’t insisted the two of you go back to the main area. helping you get dressed, the two of you head back to the main hall. he kissed your forehead before watching you head back down to the snack cellar to talk to chishiya.

“hahahahahahhaa” a crazed laugh escapes from matsushita’s lips. he thinks he finally won.

However, chishiya had emerged from his cell, and you followed suit. Strong arms wrapped around your body as a banda had come out of his cell as well. the four of you had deduced matsushita was the jack. Chishiya, banda, and yaba had explained their tactics to matsushita as they started to corner him into a cell.

“hold this for me baby?” he asked with a soft tone, holding out his scalpel. you grabbed it as he affectionately patted your head and grew closer to yaba. yaba took off his blazer, preparing for their violence and hopefully new information about the borderlands. “It’s unfortunate that i can’t kill you, but i can still have fun with you”.

i need more banda content, it’s so dry out here. :,) | sorry if anything was incoherent its late rn LOL

[squoxle]

˚₊‧꒰ა All Good Girls Burn In Hell ♡ S.Eunseok ff ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

💠pairing: Eunseok x Reader!afab | 💠wc: 7.1k | 💠cw: profanity, religious themes, drug use, abuse, coercion, protected and unprotected sex | 💠plot: Your tired of being mommy’s little girl so you sneak out to a college party with the Devil’s Advocate…

With the pressure of being the perfect daughter weighing on your shoulders, the last thing you needed right now was a boy. Especially not when that boy was Song Eunseok He was everything you weren’t and the complete opposite of what your parents believed in. Rule Breaker. Trouble Maker. Bad Boy.

His beauty... charmed you like a snake, entrapping you in his comforting grasp before crushing the life out of you.

His words... were like the devil’s music, enchanting you with his lovely tune as he led you down a path of darkness.

And his eyes... God his eyes were the most delicate yet aggressive feature of his face. Boldly standing out with a gentle aura surrounding them.

He was the perfect temptation. Sent by Satan himself to draw you away from purity and righteousness.

And you were the perfect target. You were weak and he could tell, which is what made corrupting you that much easier.

Your home life was just about as chaotic as you'd expect an extremely religious family to be.

“Honor thy father and thy mother, for this is the first commandment with promise,” she would say this whenever you did anything remotely ‘disrespectful’ in her eyes. “Don’t you want to live a long and happy life?”

Sometimes her words felt like vain repetition or taunts echoing through your head, as her method of reprimanding you often came in the form of lectures.

The neurotic controlling nature of your mother could only be tamed by one thing—aside from the public eye—and that one thing was…your father.

Unfortunately he was no longer around and your mother often blamed you for his absence.

Your mother taught you that a wife should submit to her husband for he is the head of the family and you--as his wife--are to be his helpmate.

Though that sounds fair, for the most part, Mom had a much harsher way of embedding what she believed into the lives of her children. Especially her daughters.

After your rebellious older sister ran off 4 years ago with her motorcycle-riding girlfriend, all hell broke loose at home. You had now been promoted to the oldest of the siblings and were therefore subject to physical pain on top of everything else. It felt like you permanently resided within the confines of a chapel, which often felt more like a prison than a home.

You’d had enough of this torture. You needed a break away from the unreasonably structured environment. Just for once, you wanted to feel like you were the one pulling the strings.

Never did you expect to hand your strings over to a new puppet master.

To keep things brief, you'd met Eunseok through your best friend Faith. Ironically, she was a girl you met at Sunday school in 9th grade who definitely wasn’t the perfect little angel people thought she was.

One time her dad almost caught her smoking outside. The way she launched that bud halfway across the street before sticking a sucker in her mouth was insane. Another time you could remember her telling you the story of how she snuck a boy into her room to have sex while her parents were sleeping…well the boy was her boyfriend, but still.

She had a wild side that you found alluring. Which made you wonder if you had a one too, well one apart from the scenarios you enacted in your imagination.

As a freshman in college, you were ready to try to relax a little.

"Or maybe not," you thought to yourself as you woke up to the sound of religious music playing from the kitchen. Your mother did this nearly every morning at the exact same time, almost like clockwork.

You could smell the coffee brewing, coupled with the scent of bread toasting. You knew you could only roll around in bed for a few more minutes before it was time to get up. Not only did you still have a bedtime, but you also had a specific time to wake up. No later than 8 o'clock were you expected to be out of your pajamas and have your bed made.

"Nothing comes to a man in his sleep, but dreams," another saying your mother loved repeating.

You lived in a house with two younger twin brothers and shared a room with your big sister. Though, now that she was gone, dust bunnies were the only thing sleeping in her bed.

One thing you had to learn was to be the first one in the bathroom. Sometimes you'd get up earlier to avoid the chaotic morning bustle.

After getting dressed you grabbed an apple for breakfast and waited for your mom to drop you off for your first day of uni. Luckily, you and Faith were going to the same university, so that eliminated the anxiety that came with being completely alone on a huge campus for the next four years of your life.

Unfortunately, loneliness, like most of your other personal problems, was none of your mother's concern. "Read and pray," she'd tell you. "The Lord will comfort you."

As this was your first semester in college, you decided to knock out a good chunk of your core classes, English, Math, History, and Politics.

After 3 hours that felt more like a lifetime, your first lecture had finally ended. By now hungry didn't compare to what you were experiencing right now. Unfortunately, you forgot to bring your wallet which meant that water would have to fill you up for now.

“I can already tell this semester is going suck ass. And the next 16 weeks of my life or going to be a nightmare from hell,” Faith sighed as she dropped her backpack on the ground beside her.

You had met up with her outside at one of the round red tables that were scattered across the open green field.

"Oh, come on you can’t say that. It’s only the first day, give it about a week or so, and then see if you still feel the same way," you said trying to encourage her to look on the bright side.

"No, you don’t get it. This guy hates me, like literally hates me. You should've seen the way he looked at me," she sighed. "God, he was such a fucking scumbag."

"Who?"

"My stupid fucking sociology professor. He started nagging about some bullshit and I called him out for it," she rolled her eyes before pulling out a box of cigarettes. "Want one?"

"No, thanks," you held your hand up. "Wait this is a no-smoking zone," you said as Faith lit the end.

"Shit, my bad," she shrugged before picking up her bag and walking off. "You're coming, aren't you? You're not just gonna tell me I can't smoke here and expect me to go off by myself," she held the cigarette between her two fingers.

"No, sorry, I'm coming," you stuttered.

"You better."

You followed your blue-eyed friend to a brick wall that was high enough that when you sat on it your feet couldn't touch the ground.

"So I guess we found our secret place," Faith smiled. "A sweet escape from the terrors of uni and their stupid, boring bullshit," she puffed.

You and Faith often found little areas that you claimed as your own. This was just another spot to add to your map of many discrete destinations.

"Woah, what the hell was that?" Faith looked as your stomach growled uncomfortably loud.

"All I had was an apple this morning and I'm starving," you sighed before cracking open your water bottle to take a sip.

"Well, that water isn't gonna do shit for ya. Let's go grab you something to eat," she hopped off the wall before putting her cigarette out on a rock.

"I can't...I forgot my wallet at home and my mom is already on her way here," you sighed before joining her on the ground.

"So what? I have money. Besides, it's not like she's gonna kill you for grabbing something to eat," Faith slung her bag over her shoulder. "I'm kinda hungry myself."

You’d be lying if you said you didn't have a slight gut feeling that your mom would be upset about this. But maybe Faith was right. There's no way your mom would get mad at you for eating...right?

After splitting a sandwich you headed to the front of the school to find your mom parked in a handicap spot. You waved to Faith as you walked over to the passenger side of the vehicle.

"So, how was your first day of college?" your mom asked as you buckled your seatbelt.

"It was good," you nodded as your mom pulled down the sun visor to reapply her Cherry Blossom Bliss tinted lipgloss. "How was your day?" you asked as you placed your bag on the floor between your legs as you looked out of the window.

"Good," she said plainly as she closed the car mirror and closed her gloss before tucking it away in her clutch bag.

You drove around a bit in silence before you heard the sound of her coin-filled bag swinging through the air. Hitting you in the mouth. Strangely enough, you heard the soft jingle before you actually felt the pain.

"Don't ever keep me waiting like that again. When I come here to pick you up you need to be ready," your mother said as you turned to her in shock, covering your mouth that was now decorated with a sliver of blood that seeped through the crack of your lower lip.

"But, I--" Your attempt to explain yourself was cut off by the stinging pain from your head as your mother dug her nails into your scalp.

"Are you talking back? Don't talk back to me you fucking brat," she spat. At this point, you knew that saying or doing anything else was just going to trigger her to spiral so you wiped the tear from your eye, attempted to fix your hair, and sat back in silence until you made it home.

It was moments like this that you wanted someone to vent to. But what good would that do? Even if you told Faith about this nothing would change. This was your life and the only smart thing you could do was learn from your mistakes.

Don't be late.

Don't talk back.

The next couple of weeks were like the first minus getting attacked for being late. You went to class, you did your homework, and you hung out with Faith. Today, your class had ended early since it was almost spring break and you took this as an opportunity to spend more time with Faith before your mom came to pick you up.

But today was a day to mark on your calendar as the beginning of your ending...

“Hey, Faith,” you said shyly as you noticed the two boys that sat with her. One of them being none other than Eunseok.

She waved to you tapping a spot beside her for you to sit. “Hey girl, we were just talking about going to one of the fraternity houses this weekend for a little get-together,” she smiled mischievously. "What d'you say? Wanna join us for some life-changing fun?"

You knew that look, and nothing good ever came from that. You’d been invited to gatherings like this before and always declined. You never regretted your decision either, especially when she’d tell you about all of the horrible things that happened. Faith never saw the stories how you did, they all sounded like exciting retellings of the glorious moments you missed out on.

"No that's alright," you chuckled as she glared at you with her big blue puppy dog eyes.

"Pleeeeeease," she whined, pouting her lips and squeezing your thigh.

"No, Faith," you giggled. "You're just gonna run off and leave me all by myself."

"I'll be there," Eunseok smirked. "In case she does abandon you," he sat on the opposite side of you placing his arm behind you.

"I-uhh," you stammered.

"Cool it big boy, she's not into that kind of stuff," Faith budded.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know she was gay," Eunseok said, slightly backing away.

"Oh no. I'm not gay," you spat.

"Okay then, lesbian? Bisexual?"

"No, I'm straight. I just don't like boys," you were doing an awful job at pleading your case and you could see Faith holding in her laughter as she watched the awkward interaction between you two.

"How the hell are you straight, but you don't like boys? That makes no fucking sense."

"No. Wait. I like boys, but I'm not allowed to date."

"Who said anything about dating," he chuckled. "Are you already trying to claim me?"

"I never said that. I mean. Ugh, nevermind," you sighed.

"Relax, I'm just joking. Faith already told me about preserving your purity."

"Yep, I sure did. So you don't have to worry about him trying to lead you astray," Faith smiled.

"Eh hmm," the other boy cleared his throat.

"Oh, right. I forgot. This is Theo. I met him a year ago at a party and we've been friends ever since," Faith said as the boy waved.

"You got me over here feeling like an outcast," he smirked.

"Well, she barely knows that goofball, Eunseok. I think this was the first conversation they ever had." Their conversation faded in the background as you dug deep into your mind only to realize that this was your first time actually speaking to Eunseok.

You were much younger when you first met and you've always been one to keep to yourself. Plus, your sister had just left and life at home wasn't so great. So there wasn't much to talk about.

"So, you're coming right?"

"Huh?"

"The party this weekend...you're coming right?" Faith asked again.

"I don't think so. Sorry," you replied.

"Hmm...well I'm not gonna force you. Maybe next time," she said patting your shoulder. "Oh shit," she sighed as you noticed your mom walking over to you.

"I've been waiting in the car for over an hour now and you're out here goofing off with boys?"

"Mom, it's not like that I was just--"

"I don't wanna hear it. Go get in the car. Right now. We're going home," your mom looked everything but happy right now. She must've known you got out early and had been waiting for you all this time. Scared didn't begin to describe what you were feeling right now.

To your surprise, the entire ride was silent. Even when you made it home, pure silence. You went upstairs to take a shower before going to your room to study.

As you were going through your drawers to pick out an outfit, a head-spinning blow knocked you to the ground. Your mother's angry face hovered over you as she raised her hand to hit you again.

"You attention-seeking slut," she sneered. "You're just like your whoring sister," she hummed before grabbing your hair and dragging you to the middle of your room.

"I didn't do anything! I swear," you whined. "We were just talking!"

"First you'll have boys kissing and touching all over you. And the next thing you know, you'll be with a girl too. You'll be confused and broken. Just like your sister," your mother's eyes pierced through your soul like fiery daggers as she continued to berate you.

"I wish you had been born a boy like your brothers. I'd rather have a house full of men than one filled with whores in training," her words lingered in the air as she walked over to your bedroom door. "Sometimes, I wish your sister would've taken you with her."

Every word you thought of saying was caught in your throat. You were being choked by an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness and disparity. This was a common pattern whenever your mom would get violent.

Senseless slut shaming and misjudgment of your character coupled with the clawing sensation of her nails digging into your scalp was too much.

Dragging your hand across your face, you wiped the tears from your cheeks as you curled up into a ball on the floor. The sound of the ceiling fan clinking blended with the ticking of the clock that hung on your wall. You ended up falling asleep on the floor with your knees to your chest.

If not for the lamp on your desk, you'd be in complete darkness.

The next morning you woke up earlier than you normally would. This gave you a chance to shower before going to school.

The water ran down your body as you thought back to what happened last night. You turned your back to the pouring water but flinched as you were met with a stinging pain. You looked over your shoulder to see small scratches on your back--likely from being dragged across the carpet floor.

You searched under the bathroom cabinet for something to clean the wound with. Nothing but a bottle of toner stared back at you.

"Well there's alcohol in it," you mumbled to yourself as you poured the liquid on a cotton ball. You dabbed every spot within your reach before throwing your clothes on.

"You alright?" Eunseok asked. His voice caught you off guard as you drifted off into your thoughts. Faith had walked off for a smoke break with Theo, leaving you behind with the dark-eyed boy.

"Yeah," you smiled feignly.

His energy was different than it had been before. Maybe it was because he saw how your mom behaved when she saw you guys talking.

"You sure? Don't take this the wrong way, but you look like shit," he said tilting his head to meet your eyes.

"There's just a lot on my mind right now," you sighed.

"Wanna talk about it? I'm a pretty good listener."

"No, I'm okay. It's not like that'll do anything anyway," you sniffed. Crying was the one thing you'd never do in public. And you'd rather struggle on your own than bring other people into your personal business for no reason.

"Alright, fine. Well then how about we not talk about it together this weekend."

"I can't go to that party. My mom would kill me."

"Well, you look like you're halfway in the grave already. You could use a bit of excitement in your life."

"But I've never...I can't..."

"You're an adult. You can't let your mom dictate your life forever," you were quiet before he continued. "I'm sure you can just ask your dad, right?"

"Yeah, that would probably work if he was still around."

"Oh...sorry I didn't know."

"It's fine. He's not dead, but he might as well be. I'm sure my mom would be happier if he was."

"If you don't me asking...what happened anyway?"

"Well, basically he left us because my mom is literally insane. They would always fight. And one night he came into our bedroom and slid a note under our pillow," you thought back to the feeling of him placing a kiss on your forehead as you laid there pretending to be asleep. You watched as he wiped the tears from his face. To this day you regret not saying anything. Not doing anything.

"That was the last time you saw him?"

"Yeah..."

"You're going to that party," Eunseok whispered before placing his hand on top of yours.

"How?"

"I'll sneak you out on Saturday night," He said pulling out his phone. "What's your number?"

You looked down at your hands as you shamefully replied. "Even if I give you my phone number, my mom takes it at night time..."

"Damn. Well, I'll just give you my old phone. I barely use it now so I won't be looking for it," he said reaching into his bag. He pulled out the smaller black phone which was protected by a bulky plastic case. "It's a dinosaur, but it still works," he chuckled.

"Are you sure? What if I get caught?"

"Relax, you won't. You just have to keep it hidden until tomorrow night. After that, you're in the clear," he smiled.

"Okay, but if I get in trouble it's all you're fault and I'll probably never forgive you," you said as you took the phone from his hands.

Maybe a night out would do you good...

To be completely honest, it didn't take much convincing to get you on board. He was attractive as hell and as much as you hated it, he definitely had an effect on you.

"Deal," he chuckled as he watched you slip the phone into your bag.

"What are you losers yapping about?" Faith grinned as she skipped back over to you and Eunseok.

"Uh--"

"I was just helping our little friend plan her escape," Eunseok said, cutting you off as he pulled you in for a side hug. "Isn't that right?"

You nodded as Theo clapped his hands together. "Awesome! Another innocent soul to claim for Satan," he words sent chills up your spine as you thought back to what happened the night before.

"Hey? You alright?" Faith asked as your face went blank.

"Yeah...I was just umm...I was just thinking about some stuff," you replied, trying your best to play it off. "Shoot!" you spat.

"What?" Faith asked.

"My mom is on her way. I gotta go," You snatched your bag up and began walking off.

"Oh...but--"

"Sorry, I don't wanna get in trouble again," you continued as you drifted back into your thoughts.

"Hey," you felt a large hand palm your shoulder. You whipped around to see Eunseok standing in front of you. "If you ever need someone to talk to, remember that I'm here for you," you nodded as his hands slid down your arms to your hands.

A warm feeling rushed to your face as all of your previous worries melted away. It was like he was the first person to take your mind off of everything negative in your life. He was like a drug and you were afraid to get addicted.

You both stared at each other for a bit before he pulled you in for a hug. "I'll be over to break you out tomorrow night. Don't forget, okay?" His voice sounded even more soothing when he held you close. The gentle vibrations from his throat were just about as relaxing as soaking in a hot tub.

You hummed in response before walking off to join your mom in the car.

11:24pm tomorrow night...

You quietly tiptoed through the darkness of your bedroom to your dresser. You pulled out the bottom drawer to grab Eunseok's phone from its hidden place.

Feelings of guilt, fear, and anxiety tugged at your heart as you thought back to the moment between you and your mom in the car the day before.

"I'm really sorry for how I reacted the other day..." your mom bit her lip as she gripped the steering wheel. "It's just that I'm afraid to lose you the way I lost your sister..."

You could feel the genuine pain and regret in her tone as she poured out to you.

"I don't want you to make terrible mistakes that you'll regret in the future. And sometimes...exploding is the only way I know how to fix it. That's how my parents were with me."

This was no excuse for her actions, but this did make you feel a sense of pity for her. It was almost enough to make you cancel. But you needed this more than anything else right now.

You just wanted a small taste of what else life had to offer you...

Anything was better than spending all of your free time in this hellhole.

You powered the phone on to text Eunseok.

"She's sleep. You can come pick me up whenever." you sighed as you waited anxiously for him to text back.

"Alright, princess. Your knight in shining armor is on the way to rescue you from the evil dragon." Reading his text made you giggle a bit as you struggled to find anything remotely skimpy to wear. Nothing but an old baby blue dress from your sister hung idly in the back of your closet.

You quickly hopped into the dress and slipped into a pair of silver heels.

*Tap. Tap. Tap*

The tapping sound from the window nearly made you jump out of your skin. The moonlight dimly lit your features as you turned to see Eunseok's face behind the glass. You tapped your finger against your lips, signalling him to stop.

You opened the window and stuck out your first leg to climb out. Eunseok came close to guide you out by the waist. "You ready?" he smirked.

"Yeah," you nodded.

"Then let's get the hell out of here," he chuckled, grabbing your hand and running with you to his orange Dodge Challenger. You climbed into the passenger seat as Eunseok closed the door behind you.

Your heart was beating fast as hell, probably the fastest it's ever beat in your life. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you lied. Your throat was so dry it felt like you had cotton in your mouth.

"You might be able to lie to your mom, but you can't lie to me. You look like a scared little puppy," he smiled, scanning your body. "Nice dress."

"Thanks, it was my sister's."

"Well you look amazing in it," he turned the keys and you felt the seats rumble gently beneath you. You watched as Eunseok reached down to pull out a V-pen. He breathed in slowly before blowing out the sweet strawberry-scented vapor. "Here. Take this. It'll relax you," he said handing your the plug.

"Uhh...I'm okay. I don't smoke."

"Come on, just try it once. If you don't like it you can stop."

You hesitantly opened your mouth as he brought the device to your lips.

"Just suck it in slowly. Let it fill your lungs and don't try breathing out of your nose at the same time--" You began coughing aggressively, cutting him off mid-sentence. "Or that'll happen," he chuckled, before patting your back.

You looked at him through watery eyes as he reached to hand you a water bottle. "Don't worry, I didn't drink any of it yet."

"Thanks," you sniffed.

"So, what'd you think? D'you like it?"

"It tastes good, but to be honest I didn't notice much of a difference aside from coughing my brains out."

"Well, that one was kinda weak. Hold on. Imma give you something a little stronger," he smiled as he drove to a red light. "Look in the glove box and pull out that little red case," he directed you, pointing his finger at the glove box.

You sifted through the other miscellaneous objects before finding the red case. You placed it in his hand and watched as he pulled out another smoking device.

"Alright, I'm gonna go first and you just copy me okay?" he licked his lips before clasping them around the metal tip. "Just take a little bit first," he said after blowing out the cloud of smoke.

Remembering the mistake you made last time, you sucked in slowly.

"Woah, woah. That should be good enough," Eunseok chuckled as you inhaled the herby smoke.

You blew out the smoke, filling the car with the scent. You still coughed a bit, but it wasn't as bad as before. "That's weed, by the way," Eunseok smiled. "You should be feeling it in a bit."

He wasn't wrong either. You felt a sense of alertness wash over you.

"We're almost there," Eunseok said as he entered a subdivision before pulling up to a house shortly after. Cars were lined up the street, most likely belonging to the other partygoers. You could even hear the music blasting as you sat in the car with Eunseok.

This was the first time you finally noticed that Faith wasn't there. The amount of questionable decisions you were making in such a short time even shocked you.

You walked with Eunseok into to the lively house party hosted by Theo who greeted you at the door with Jell-O shots. "It's about time you got here, princess. We've been waiting for you," he smiled as he took down the cherry-flavored shot you rejected. "Did you get my message?"

"What message?" you asked.

"This one," he said, grabbing your hand to spin you around. "Wanna dance?"

"No, that's alright," you chuckled as he pouted playfully.

"Your loss. I'm a terrific dancer--"

"If by terrific you mean terrible then I'd definitely agree with you," Faith said cutting Theo off. "Hey girl, what do you think of the party? Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Well, we just got here a couple minutes ago."

"Yeah, and I was having a conversation with her until you came over here interrupting us," he poked her nose.

"Puh-lease. I'm sure she's glad I came over here to save her from your boring ass."

"Boring? Boring?! I'll show you whose boring."

"I'm already looking at you dummy," Faith playfully pushed Theo's shoulder. "If you really wanna dance then let's go," she giggled, leading Theo to a corner by the tip of his chin.

"Heh, later princess," he waved to you.

You watched as Theo grabbed Faith's hips. She swayed her hips, grinding her ass against him as he nuzzled into the crook of her neck. A seductive smirk crept across her face as Theo turned her around to face him. He caressed her thigh as he lifted her leg, wrapping it around him. He slowly leaned into her lips, hanging centimeters away from her soft pink lips before she placed her finger on his lips.

"I thought we were just dancing," she beamed.

"Dancing and kissing?" he chuckled awkwardly.

"Uh uh. Man, these shots have you acting extra horny today huh?"

You shook your head, scanning the room for Eunseok. You couldn't believe you were staring at them for that long. You didn't see him anywhere in the kitchen so you went out into the hall to look for him somewhere else.

To be honest, if Faith wasn’t busy teasing Theo, you'd probably be hanging out with her right now. But, Eunseok wasn’t so bad. You actually enjoyed his company. 

Still feeling a bit fuzzy and lightheaded from the hit earlier you swayed through the partygoers, silently searching for a familiar face. You were more of a shy person, so engaging with random strangers wasn’t exactly at the top of your list. 

“Hey, ~” a dark-haired girl waved to you as she was being dragged off to a bedroom down the hall. “Wanna come have fun with us?” 

“No, that’s alright,” you smiled sheepishly. 

“Oh come on, baby. I’ll make it worth your while,” the boy said, releasing the other girl’s hand to run his nose against the skin on your neck. 

“I said, no,” you spat, pushing him away after he licked the exposed skin on your chest.

“Oh, you wanna play hard to get, huh?” He smirked devilishly as he pressed you against the wall. 

You struggled beneath his weight as you looked down to see that the girl had passed out on the floor. Knowing that this was going nowhere good, you swung your free hand to hit him straight in the mouth. 

“Argh!” He winced, licking the blood from the broken skin on his lower lip. “You little bitch! You’re gonna regret doing that,” he spat, grabbing your wrist, and twisting it slightly. You groaned at the burning pain travelling down your arm before kicking him between his legs which made him drop to the floor. 

While he was on his knees swearing and shouting out all of the horrible things he was gonna do to you, you shook the collapsed girl to try and wake her up. There was no way in hell you were gonna leave her in the hands of this monster. 

“Are we gonna play now?” She hummed. “Hmm, I’m sleepy. Can I stay here?” 

“No, come on. I gotta get you out of here,” you tugged at her arms. “No girl left behind.”

The boy must’ve been feeling better by the time you finally got her to stand as you felt a set of hands push you to the ground. He grabbed you by the ankles and started to drag you down the hall. 

Even though you kicked your legs in an attempt to fight him off, it was useless, he was much stronger than you and you didn’t stand a chance against him now. 

Dazed, but conscious enough to see what was going on, the dark-haired girl ran off. 

“Dammit,” you thought to yourself. Closing your eyes shut, you prepared yourself to just accept your fate. A set of footsteps ran up the hall toward you as you felt the boy drop your legs to the ground. 

“Ugh!” He groaned as you opened your eyes to see a beer bottle had been smashed against his head. 

You watched as Eunseok punched the boy in the face until blood came from his nose. His hair bounced at the force of every blow. You could tell he had broken his nose by the way his face had contorted. 

“Let’s go,” Eunseok said, looking at you still on the ground. He grabbed the boy by the shirt and proceeded to drag him to the front door. “Does your brother know you’re here?” He spat looking to the dark-haired girl who you assumed ran to get Eunseok. 

“I’m almost 18. I can make my own decisions,” she stuttered. 

“Right, and we see where that almost got you. Come on, I’m taking you home,” Eunseok said as he walked up to a dark-skinned guy. “Lance! Can you keep an eye on this fucker? The cops are already on their way for him.” Eunseok said as he abandoned the lunatic who tried to assault you and the other girl. “He was trying to make a move on Eunchae.”

“Sure, man. I’ll hold him until the cops get here,” the boy whom Eunseok called Lance smiled as Eunseok walked outside with you and the other girl. “Tell your brother I said hi,” he chuckled as you walked outside. 

“Get your ass in the backseat,” Eunseok spat as Eunchae folded her arms. “And put this on,” He said as he pulled off his oversized varsity jacket and draped it over her shoulders. 

“Wait! I forgot my phone,” Eunchae exclaimed as the car started up. 

“Too bad, I’ll have Theo hold onto it for you. We’re leaving,” Eunchae sat quietly in the backseat as you drove almost 30 minutes to a black and white apartment complex. 

Acting like a spoiled child, Eunchae refused to go up the stairs. You could see that Eunseok was more than fed up with her bullshit as he threw her over his shoulder and walked up the stairs to knock on the door. 

Eunseok, placed Eunchae on the doormat in front of him as he waited for the door to open.

“You’re not doing a very good job at babysitting her, Seunghan. Maybe you should send her back by your mom and dad,” he said as he poked her cheek. 

“Yeah, I might do that because she’s obviously not ready to be an adult yet—“

“No! Ugh! You never let me do anything,” she huffed as she stormed to her room.

“Thanks for bringing her back, bro. I thought she wasn’t feeling well because she went to bed early.”

“Eh, it’s alright. But you seriously need to keep an eye on her. Oh, and Theo has her phone. He’ll probably bring it over later.”

“Okay, it’s not like she needs it anyway,” Seunghan chuckled as he closed the door.

You followed Eunseok back to the car as he started it up again. 

“Sorry,” he said after taking a hit of the weed from earlier. “I’m pretty sure this wasn’t exactly the fairytale ending you were expecting,” he sighed.

"Well, it's definitely been interesting," you scoffed lightheartedly.

"Did you want to go back to the party or to my place? It's quieter there."

"Umm, wherever you want to go is fine with me."

You were hoping that he'd choose his place. Mainly because the party felt more like a freak show, a disaster waiting to happen.

"M'kay. My place it is," he said before pulling off.

He didn't live far from Seunghan so the drive was relatively short. You followed him up the stairs before entering his apartment which was uncomfortably cold.

You wrapped your arms around yourself in an attempt to contain some of the heat that was rapidly escaping your body.

"I would've offered you my jacket, but I already gave it to Eunchae," Eunseok said as he turned off the air.

"It's alright," you said sucking in your breath.

"C'mere," Eunseok whispered softly as he pulled you into his grasp.

Your cheeks burned hot as you felt the warmth from his body coupled with the feeling of his breath on your neck.

After a short silent moment, he turned your body to face him. He was met with a warm and submissive look on your face. A sense of innocence wrapped up by desire.

He leaned in to kiss your lips. Little did he know that this was your first kiss.

You freely allowed him to take the lead biting and sucking on your lips as he pulled your body closer to his. You quickly pulled away as you felt his bulge brush up against your core.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” you lied as you eyes fell to the ground.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t—“

“No, I want to. It’s just that…”

“It’s just what?”

“I haven’t really done anything like this before.”

“Kissing or sex?”

“Both…”

“Oh…sorry, I didn’t know. I kinda just assumed you had done something.”

“There’s a lot that I haven’t done.”

“Well we can stop now if you want.”

“No, I want to keep going. Just take it slow with me.”

Eunseok led you to his room that was fairly empty. Nothing but a king-sized bed, a small night stand, and a laundry bin occupied the floor space.

You stood at the foot of his bed as he began kissing you again. Though this was your first kiss, you never expected it to feel so good. Again, you felt his hardness press against you, but this time you welcomed the sensation.

You felt his hands blindly move across your back stopping at the zipper before pulling it down. He pulled out of the kiss to slide your dress down before directing you to stand up and sit on his lap.

You couldn’t deny the fact that you felt a bit shy about being naked in front of someone.

He slid your panties down before he wrapped an arm around you. He reached his finger down to glide between your lips. The amount of wetness definitely wasn’t ready for his cock just yet, so he spit on his fingers before massaging your clit.

You jerked your body as he used his fingers on you. Gripping onto his arms, you threw your head back as he inserted one finger into your pussy. Your tightness gripped around his finger as you let out a soft moan.

He slowly pulled his finger back and forth grazing the flesh of your g-spot before picking up the pace.

You watched as he pulled his finger out completely covered in your wetness.

“Okay, what do you want to do first? We can go straight into sex or I can eat you out?”

“I wanna go straight into sex,” you replied as you stood up.

“M’kay. Let me go grab something first,” he said before leaving the room. You waited on his bed, playing with the wetness between your legs.

He came back shortly after and pulled down his pants to reveal his pulsing hard-on.

“I’m gonna put this on to make it easier for you,” he said as torn open the packaging that contained a dark blue condom. You watch as he slid it down his length before climbing onto the bed. “You’re gonna get on top okay,” he continued as you hesitantly straddled him.

You leaned forward to place your hands on his chest as he guided his cock to your opening. Slowly, he pulled you hips down gliding his lubricated dick deep inside of you. You whined as he broke through your hymen. A slight burning feeling filled your core.

“Mmm, fuck,” he groaned as he thrusted into your pussy. More swears left his lips before he came inside of the condom. You felt his warm seed fill you up as he laid there breathless.

“I didn’t expect you to be so fucking tight,” he groaned. “Alright, now you gotta suck the cum off so I can fuck you raw. That was my last rubber,” he sighed, fluffing his hair between his fingers.

He pulled the condom off before you went down to wrap your lips around him, sucking off the cum before gagging slightly on his length.

Once clean he bent you over on your hands and knees and plowed into your pussy as you came closer to your climax. He pulled out his cock to insert two of his digits into your gummy hole as you reached between your legs to rub your clit.

Breathless, moaning, and panting you came all over his fingers screaming out his name. He held you down and pushed in his cock to feel you pussy clench around him as you slowly came down from your high.

You collapsed on the bed from exhaustion and satisfaction as Eunseok stroked his length.

“Fuck, that was amazing,” he sighed as he kissed your shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you home before sunrise. Just get some rest for now,” he said as he saw your legs trembling from the orgasm.

This definitely wasn’t the night you were expecting, but you couldn’t say that you didn’t enjoy it.

You watched as Eunseok pulled his jeans up before stepping out on the balcony to smoke. Your eyes fluttered gently as you watched the puffs of smoke escape his lips. He ruffled his hair again before coming inside to join you in bed.

He guided your head to rest on his chest. The gentle hums relaxed you till you eventually fell asleep.

You don’t know what time you got in the car or what time he drove you home, but he made sure to bring you back before the sun came out.

Even though this had just happened the day before, you already couldn’t wait for your next opportunity to sneak out.

❀ Thank you all so much for reading! Make sure to check out other works on my masterlist!

❀ 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @chlorinecake @hoyeonheeseung @addictedtohobi @chaenqen @nikisvanillaccola @mrswolfhard3 @hynjinnn1 @melobin @laylasbunbunny @urfavberry @swaggyjinnie @j4yluv @mimikittysblog @wonbinisbabygurl

[lurkingteapot]

Free Thai language learning resources

I’ve been learning Thai for the past 20 months. This list is by no means complete or comprehensive, what works for me doesn’t have to work for you, etc etc. That said: I’ve used most of these and found them useful, I thought you might, too. Have fun!

Youtube channels with free video lessons:

There are tons of wonderful teachers on youtube; this is by no means an exhaustive list. The three channels listed here are comprehensive, long-running, and updated regularly; if you have other favourites, please reblog and append!

Comprehensible Thai is a channel that teaches Thai in Thai, from zero, via the comprehensible input method. They have videos from total beginner through upper intermediate/lower advanced levels available.

Learn Thai with Mod – Mod runs a language school that offers good, structured group classes; she and her co-teachers often upload short videos about specific aspects of Thai. The channel has been around for a long time and they cover a lot of topics, including grammar points.

Thai Lessons by New (Learn Thai one Word one Sentence) – lots of good vocabulary and situational phrases

Other channels I like:

Advanced Thai with Kruu Momm -- one of my favourites, Momm’s a star. Not included in the upper list only because this is definitely more of an intermediate-advanced resource.

Thai with Grace -- I knew of Grace via her polyglot channel and travel vlogs before I realised she also teaches Thai. Fun stuff.

Kat talks Thai -- I believe Kat is more active on instagram (@kattalksthai), but these are still really neat.

Perth Nakhun’s Basic Thai playlist

Honourable mentions because they’re interesting and can be nice supplements (yes, the video titles on these channels tend to be clickbaity, the content is useful, though):

Stu Jay Raj: Stu is a polyglot based in Thailand. His channel is a bit of a mixed bag, but he has a very interesting approach to languages and sometimes does foreign accent reduction / accent analysis sessions on his channel (with consent and participation of those whose speech he dissects).

Thai Talk with Paddy: Paddy is an Australian who learned Thai when he was a volunteer in Thailand, he’s kept it up. Fun things about language learning and culture

Listening comprehension

I’m assuming many folks on here who are interested in Thai already watch some Thai shows (yes I’m stereotyping but also this is tumblr), which means you’re spending time listening to Thai.

If you’re not:

Netflix, Youtube, WeTV, and Viki all have several Thai shows with English subtitles available. The Youtube channel of Thai broadcasting giant GMMTV has English subtitles on nearly all of their uploaded series, some series are also subtitled in languages other than English. one31 is another huge channel; they have English subtitles on some series and some series also have subtitles in Thai. There’s tons more – find a rec list and a Thai show that sounds like you’d enjoy it, chances are you’ll be able to watch it for free, legally, on youtube. You can use the youtube controls (or the ones on netflix) to turn the speed down to 75% —this can make it a lot easier to catch what’s being said. 50% gets so draggy that I personally find it almost harder to understand, but ymmv—give it a shot!

https://lingopolo.org/thai/ has real-life recordings for listening practice; sign-up is required but it’s literally just an e-mail-address, user name and password. Using the site is free.

https://www.activethai.com/ has a section dedicated to learning the tones (under “Overview of Thai Tones”) including a self-test for listening that I found very useful.

Learning to read

I will always, always, ALWAYS recommend learning to read the Thai script. All available romanisations for Thai have drawbacks, and besides, you learned to read English with its “though through thorough tough thought”, you can damn well learn to read Thai. I promise it will help you improve your pronunciation (yes, really) and overall understanding of how the language works.

Learn-to-Read-Thai resources that seem comprehensive and like they should do everything in one:

Anki decks “Read Thai PHASE 1 - The Consonants“, “Read Thai PHASE 2 - Thai Vowels“, “Read Thai PHASE 3 - Consonant Classes” and “Read Thai PHASE 4 - Tone Rules” by Khruu Gaan (ครูกานต์). Anki is probably the most powerful spaced repetition software I have ever used. It’s free on all desktops and android. These decks have sound.

Memrise course “Read Thai: A Complete Guide to Reading Thai“

Other resources I used (In hindsight, I feel like I should’ve picked one resource to learn to read from and stuck with it; I think I was rushing and made things more complicated than need be for myself with my hodgepodge mix-and-match approach. But hey, I can read now.)

https://www.activethai.com/ – the site I started with. Teaches the consonants separated by class and with sound. The only reason this is no longer my top recommendation is that I ended up using this alongside a resource that helped me memorise what the words used to represent the letters actually mean because the site itself didn’t tell me, and I wanted that easy way to have 44 vocabulary words ready as soon as you’re done learning your consonants, and it gives you access to neat mnemonics such as ไก่จิกเด็กตาย(เฎ็กฏาย)บนปากโอ่ง.

The chart on Wikipedia’s English article on the Thai Script

the reference section of Thai-Language.com

In order to better learn to read Thai written in different fonts (modern and handwriting fonts can be tough at first), the Thai Script typographical styles overview on Thai-language.com was a huge help, as was throwing simple phrases things into gdocs and messing around to see how different fonts made them look. This chart from sanukmaak.com also helped.

Speaking and pronunciation

The hardest one for any new language for most folks. For me personally, finding someone who speaks the language and is willing to correct me was an absolute necessity, but I know that’s not always an option. If you’re going it on your own, make sure you check out the resources above for learning to hear the tones and those sounds and sound clusters not present in your own language correctly first.

Things to try on your own:

shadowing: Whenever someone on a show utters a sentence you think might be useful, or provide a useful pattern, or something just sounds cool, rewind and try to speak along as they say it, trying to make it sound as close to their pronunciation as you can.

try to record yourself and listen back -- yes, it’s cringe af but it will HELP.

memorising short sentences and phrases: tying back to the section above, there's a ton of youtube videos that is "phrases to use in [situation]" that are great for targeted learning if you're up for it

self talk (cautiously! don't want to cement bad pronunciation habits)

if you’re linguistically inclined: looking up descriptions on how to make a sound correctly sometimes helps, as does watching videos of folks who’ve successfully learned the language.

once you’ve learned to read: find sentences to read somewhere (twitter, a textbook, whatever) and read them into your phone’s dictation engine. See if the software understands you correctly. Adjust as needed until it does.

Websites and apps to find language partners or (paid) tutors

Like any other app where you ‘meet people’, please exercise caution on these.

italki (mainly for finding tutors and teachers, but you can find language partners on the forums)

Preply (web/app) (for finding tutors/teachers)

hellotalk (app only, iOS/android) for finding language partners -- free to use basic features like messaging, voice rooms, etc; has annoying ads

tandem (app only, iOS/android) for finding language partners -- free to use basic features, has ads

any other app or website that’ll let you meet people, like local facebook groups (yes really), instagram, etc

(note: Neither hellotalk nor tandem allow users to sign up without selecting a binary gender. it sucks. I’ve seen people who managed to circumvent this on Hellotalk by signing up via apple ID (? I think), but it’s hearsay and I have not managed to do so myself.)

Books (a book) that are (is) worth spending money on imo

Higbie & Thinsan: Thai Reference Grammar. The Structure of Spoken Thai. Orchid Press: Bangkok, 2002. Yes, it’s ancient in textbook terms. It’s not perfect, but it’s still the best reference grammar for Thai I’ve come across so far, and I use it frequently.

Random bits and bobs

Stu Jay Raj has two videos in particular that I, as a phonetics-and-phonology-loving person, loved and found extremely useful and wished I’d watched before I started to try and learn the script: Thai Vowels for Dummies in 5 Min v2 - A System Impossible to Forget and Thai Bites Extended Edition - Transliterating Thai using IPA. I realise these may be overwhelming and less helpful for people with no prior phonetics or phonology training, but they helped me so much it’d feel amiss not to include them.

Resources I recommend AGAINST using when starting out

drops/hello words -- seems like their Thai courses have been created using machine translation that wasn’t sufficiently proofread. They will assign you nouns in places of the corresponding verb or false cognates, and that’s within the first 10 or so lessons. Might be useful once the level where a learner can tell “ah, yeah, that’s … not right” has been reached? idk.

transcription as generated by google translate: BURN IT WITH FIRE. it’s a transliteration, i.e. 1-to-1 representation of 1 Thai letter = 1 Latin letter (extended), it’s not phonemic, it’s not going to help ANYONE (and those who can make sense of it presumably already read Thai and would be better off with just Thai script). Just. Stop.

Google translate as a dictionary: still shitty but not AS bad as the transcription function. Still, for the love of all that you hold dear, please, save yourself the pain and confusion and just use thai2english or thai-language.com instead.

---

And that’s that from me, friends. Yeeting this into the void before I second-guess myself more. Please append additional resources!

Edited to fix a couple of typos and errors on 2023-06-15

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Hey! I've been absolutely loving your fanfics since I found them recently, and I was wondering if I could please request a Domestic Dream style of story with 2012 Raph?

Domestic Morning (Fluff)

2012!Raphael x reader

A/N: Heyo💚 I most definitely can and thank you so much💚 It’s been some time since I’ve looked at my Domestic Dream stories, but I feel like I got pretty close. Hope you enjoy❤️

-----------

Warnings: Fluff❤️

-----------

The soft January sun shone through curtains, casting a warm glow through the frozen window, lighting up the small New York bedroom, stirring you awake. Your half open eyes peaked out over your warm blanket, watching how the ice on your window glistered in the orange sunlight. The rhythmic sound of your parents moving around in the kitchen reached your ears, as you felt your senses starting to awake. You stretched your arms and legs, shifting slightly as you poked your limbs out from under the blanket, and out to the cold of your room. But as you moved, you felt the arm around your torso tighten, pulling you close against the hard yet comfortable surface of the plastron of the arms owner. You couldn't help but smile as you felt the strong arm of Raphael wrapped protectively around you, turning over to look at your still sleeping boyfriend. Last night had been just like any other weekend. Raph had stayed over, and you both enjoyed the comfort of each other's presence, keeping the cold of the January wind away.

As you watched your boyfriend’s sleeping face, you couldn’t help but let your fingers trace over his face, feeling the structure of his bones and his soft green skin. Raphael hummed as his eyes flickered open, his green orbs meeting yours. He smiled at you with a sleepy smile, still not fully awake.

“Good morning”, he said with a raspy voice, that made your heart flutter in your chest.

“Good morning”, you said, smiling back at him.

Raph shifted to sit up before he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead. As he stretched and yawned, you couldn't help but feel a surge of happiness. Your relationship with the hotheaded but lovable turtle had become a constant source of joy in your life. You and Raph felt so comfortable around each other, to the point where you could be your true selves around one another, even in the house of your parents.

The familiar scent of breakfast wafted into the room, as you decided it was time to face the day. You and Raphael headed towards the kitchen, hand in hand, your sleepy minds and hungry stomachs eager for the food that brought such a lovely smell. As you entered, your parents greeted you with warm smiles.

"Good morning, you two!”, your mom greeted the two of you with a smile, as she flipped the last pancake onto the tall stack, your father smiling at you as he filled the dishwasher.

"Good morning, Mrs. (L/N), Mr. (L/N)," Raphael grunted in his deep voice, offering a shy smile.

“Good morning to you too, Raphael”, your father said, as he started washing the bowl that had been used for pancake batter.

“We thought you would like to sleep in today, so we’ve made breakfast", she said, motioning to the spread of freshly made pancakes, eggs, and bacon on the table, waiting with the rest of the set table.

“Thank you! It looks great”, you smiled brightly.

"That’s good. Now, sit down, both of you, and dig in!" your dad chimed in, urging you towards the table.

As you all sat around the table, sharing laughs and stories, Raphael couldn't help but marvel at the scene he found himself in. It was not a situation that Raph hadn't found himself in before, and yet he couldn’t help but feel emotions take over him. Your parents, who were well aware of his non-human appearance, had never treated him any differently. In fact, they had embraced him as part of the family, telling him so every now and again.

Between bites of pancake, Raphael stole a glance at you as you were talking to your father, a sense of gratitude and disbelief washing over him. How did he get so lucky? A mutant turtle living beneath the city streets, yet here he was, welcomed into a warm and loving home by your family. He could no longer count how many times he had stayed over at your place, or the amount of times your parents had invited him over for dinner.

As your mom filled her plate with more food, she caught the way Raphael looked at you. His eyes filled with calm admiration, his shoulders relaxing as he got caught up in his own head, just listening to your voice as you spoke. However, as he watched you, he couldn’t shake the feeling of your mother’s eyes on him. He turned to her, feeling slightly embarrassed from being caught staring at you, a blush appearing over his cheeks.

Your mother smiled warmly at him. "I hope you know that we’re really glad you're part of our lives, Raphael. You make our daughter so happy, and that means the world to us", she said, making sure only he could hear her.

Raphael's usually tough exterior softened as he nodded in appreciation. "Thanks, Mrs. (L/N). It means a lot to me too".

As the morning unfolded, Raphael couldn't shake the feeling of warmth and acceptance that surrounded him. The clinking of utensils against plates, the laughter echoing through the room. It all felt so ordinary and yet so extraordinary to him. He marveled at the simple joys of sharing breakfast with the ones he cared about, surrounded by the love of your understanding family. An ordinary human family that talked and looked at him, his mutant turtle body never making them scared.

After breakfast, you and Raphael decided to head back to your room, in order to relax for a bit, enjoying the rest of your Saturday morning. Laying on your bed, cuddling under your warm blanket, watching the snow covered roofs outside of your window, just enjoying the quiet moment together. Raphael couldn't help but reflect on the journey that led him to this moment. He remembered the days when he had felt like an outcast, misunderstood by the world above. But now he had you, and you had accepted him for who he was. A mutant turtle. These kinds of ordinary things had never been in the cards for him, yet here he was, in his girlfriend’s warm bed, stomach full after a breakfast her parents had made. It was an unrealized dream come true.

"You're awfully quiet, Raph. Everything okay?", you asked, breaking the silence.

He turned to you, a soft smile playing on his lips as he thought of the words to say. You knew of Raph’s feelings about your family, and how touched he had been when they accepted him into their lives. Sure, thay had been shocked when they first met him, but they had been calm, asking him questions and making an effort to get to know him. And you knew that to this day, that still touched him.

"Yeah, everything's more than okay”, he said, hugging you tighter against him in your spooning position, resting his beak into  the crook of your neck, his warm breath fanning over your skin. “Sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am to have you and your family in my life. Not everyone would be so accepting of a mutant turtle".

You squeezed the arm he had wrapped around you reassuringly. "Well, they see the person you are, not just the exterior. And I see it too. You're kind, loyal, and you'd do anything for the people you care about". You turn in his arms, so that you were facing him, just like you had done earlier that morning. “And that’s some of the many reasons why I love you”.

Raphael grinned, his heart swelling with affection as he huffed out a chuckle. "You always know what to say, don't you?" He smiled as he rested his forehead against yours, letting out a relaxed sigh, once against thinking about how lucky he was. “I love you too, (Y/N)”.

You smiled as your lips met in a tender kiss, before the two of you cuddled close, your head resting against his plastron, your fingers making soft shapes on each other’s skin. You and Raph couldn’t think of a better way to spend your Saturday mornings, than spending it in each other’s arms, talking and dreaming about your future together.

[dear-satan]

together

vendetta!Leon S. Kennedy x fem!Reader summary: you and Leon split up. after a worrying phone call from Chris, you decide to visit your ex at his apartment. warning: Leon's alcoholism & severe depression era, younger reader

"He has not given a sign of life for over a week now. Please if you could check on him, I would be very grateful."

You stood motionless, with your hand raised in the air. Your gaze was stuck on the number 239 glued on the dark structure of the door, which you knew very well, just like what was behind it. You had, after all, lived in this flat for almost two years with your now ex-partner…. Who was the very reason you were standing here.

You and Leon separated about a month ago because of another argument between you. It wasn't caused by anything specific, in fact you didn't even remember the reason why it started, and now you considered your behaviour very childish. After all, the two of you were adults, and at that moment you behaved like complete children, saying the worst things about each other, culminating in your breaking up in anger at the other person. However, you still loved him, no matter how horrible the words he said to you, which is why, after a phone call from his best friend Chris, you immediately threw on your casual clothes and drove to his flat. You were afraid that Leon might have done something extremely stupid considering his alcohol problems and depressive states caused by everything he had been through so far.

You gently knocked on the door listening for any sound, which didn't come. It may be silly, but you still had the keys, which you hurriedly took from your pocket and slipped into the lock, thanking yourself that you had not given them to him at the time.

You stepped inside and the smell of alcohol mixed with the concentrated air immediately reached your nostrils. "Leon?" You closed the door behind you, entering deeper. Most of the living room floor was covered in rubbish and clothes and the kitchen worktop was almost invisible from under a pile of dirty dishes. However, the sight of empty bottles of vodka and whisky crumbling on the table in profusion made your heart stop. It was very bad.

You directed your steps to his bedroom, peering inside through the half-opened door. He lay there dressed only in a T-shirt and boxers. His body was strangely entangled in the white sheets and his chest was rising evenly. He was alive, that was the most important thing.

"What have you done to yourself Leon…" you muttered quietly and the mattress bent under your weight as you sat down on it. You gently took a strand of his dirty hair falling over his closed eyes to then place your hand on his cheek. The stubble scratched the texture of your skin pleasantly as you rolled small circles with your thumb. He looked like a veritable wreck of a man making your heart cry. This guy was the whole world to you and you never wanted him to bring himself to such a state during your eventual breakup.

You froze when a faint purr escaped from his lips. His eyelids slowly began to reveal his beautiful blue irises contrasting with the purple shadows under his eyes.

"What time is it?" as if nothing had happened he snuggled his face into your hand, gloating over its warmth. You sat motionless, watching to see how the connections in his brain would allow him to identify you and assume the appropriate posture.

"Fifteen to six" your voice acted on him like a bucket of cold water. He rose rather quickly, causing a dull ache to set in his head at which he hissed, catching himself. "Are you okay?" the worry was palpable in your voice. You looked at his figure. His eyes were red and swollen and the shirt he was wearing should definitely have been washed at least a few times.

" I'm fine." you were pained by the tone with which he replied "What are you doing here?" he turned his head away avoiding your gaze.

"Leon after all I can see that-"

"How did you get in here?" he raised his tone slightly. Again.

Your expression changed from concerned to much more stern in the blink of an eye. "Not in that tone Leon. I'm here because you're acting like a shit, even though you're older than me." you began crossing your arms over your chest. He also changed his posture and finally looked at you. "You haven't spoken to anyone, and believe it. There are people who care about you." the expression on his face softened "Chris asked me to look in on you…. But as I see it, unnecessarily." You got out of bed heading in the direction you came from.

Tears flowed into your eyes but you, as a strong young woman, did not let a single one flow. You are not going to cry through him again, even less in his flat. You passed all the rubbish and grabbed the handle of the front door with the intention of leaving once and for all.

"Y/N wait." Leon's strong hand caught your forearm. You gave him a really stern look which made Leon crack in front of you for the first time. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes which he felt, so he lowered his head. "I didn't mean to… I-I…" the tears fell on the light panels "I can't cope without you…"

His legs trembled, probably through lack of any energy. You saw all those junk food wrappers…. After all, Leon really couldn't cope in the kitchen and it was up to you to cook him whatever he wanted.

"Lee." you let him pull you onto his lap and hide his face in the hollow of your neck. His hands tightened on your blouse in turn yours rode slowly down his back.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I said that day." his voice was breaking and he clung to you even more, as if to reassure himself that you were really here. "I love you… I love you so much Y/N. I beg… Don't leave."

Your heart was rumbling and more than a thousand thoughts were swirling around in your head. He was still your Leon and that would never, but never change. No matter what he did, you loved this guy with your full self.

"I beg Y/N.. I promise that-"

"Sit tight already" you smiled to yourself placing a small kiss on his head "You're a damn asshole Leon" he looked at you with a questioning look. You put your hands around his cheeks wiping a single tear falling from his eye. "But I love you so much. We're going to rebuild this together, okay?" he nodded slightly and a sigh of relief came from his lips as you hugged him tightly not noticing how much of a lamentable state he was in.

"Together…"

[eggtrolls]

haiku misinformation: a fact check

there's an post going around about haiku that has a lot of incorrect information about haiku, its terminology, history, etc. I will try to debunk some of the biggest inaccuracies here. everything in quotes is a direct statement from the original post. this is also really, really long.

"Haiku are made of 14 on, which are essentially the equivalent to Japanese syllabic structures, except the nature of how Japanese as a language is constructed versus English means that any given proper haiku could be translated in extremely and intensely different ways, each giving a subtle but distinctly different meaning."

Starting off strong - haiku are (usually) made of 17 on. It's the classic 5-7-5 pattern! 5+7+5=17! [possibly this is a mix-up with wakiku (脇(わき)句(く)) which is another type of Japanese poetry that does use 14 on but who knows.]

Definitions: an on is a phonetic unit, the equivalent to a mora (pl. morae) in English. this concept a) exists in English and b) like on, is related to syllables but distinctly different from them (i.e. ba is one mora but baa with a long vowel is two morae). On can be counted using the number of hiragana (phonetic syllabic characters) when the text is transliterated, so a word like Osaka that has the long O sound (made up of 4 kana) would be 4 morae or 4 on (o-o-sa-ka; おおさか). it's not really a syllabic structure at all, and more importantly has nothing to do with translation. idk where that last part comes from because that's really...not the point here. Yes, any given "proper" haiku could be translated in different ways with a subtle but distinctly different meaning but that's true of just...translation, period. check out Deborah Smith's translation of The Vegetarian by Han Kang for more on that.

Furthermore, haiku were/are not rigidly locked into the 5-7-5 on pattern. That's just not true, which is why I said usually above. Easy example: a 1676 haiku by Matsuo Basho that uses 18-on:

冨士の風や　扇にのせて 江戸土産; ふじのかぜや おうぎにのせて えどみやげ; the wind of Fuji /I've brought on my fan/a gift from Edo <- that first line is 6-on!

2. "The best way I can explain what I mean is that in English a good poem can be defined as a shallow river, whereas a good haiku is a deeply-dug well."

Not dignifying this with a response. Deeply incorrect and untrue. @bill-blake-fans-anonymous can handle this assertion.

3. "The presence of the kigu. There is a specific series of characters/words which are used to imply a season, and specifically a specific aspect of a season which the haiku revolves around. The creation of a haiku is often done as a meditative practice revolving around the kigu--you're essentially contemplating on this particular natural feature (nearly always the temporal aspect emphasizes either ephemerality or the opposite as well bc Buddhist ideas of enlightenment and beauty begin coming into play) and building an evocative and purposeful point that revolves around it like a hinge. It functions as both ground and anchor."

First (and largest) problem: the word. is. kigo. kigo. It's ki (季; season)-go (語; word) = 季語. Both the English and Japanese language Wikipedia, or a 3-second google search, will tell you this immediately. I have no idea where the term kigu comes from.

Second problem: plenty of haiku, both traditional and contemporary, do not use kigo. these are described as muki (無季; seasonless). Matsuo Basho, the haiku-writing poet non-Japanese people are most likely to know, wrote at least ten seasonless haiku that exist today. Masaoka Shiki, the Meiji-era haiku poet and reformist, wrote hundreds of kigo-free haiku and as an agnostic, tried to separate haiku from Buddhism and focus more on the shasei, the sketches from daily life. you can actually, today, buy what are called saijiki, which are lists of words and terms that refer to specific seasons (in the traditional Japanese calendar, so there are actually a lot of "micro" seasons as well). some saijiki include a whole section of "seasonles" words - here's an article about non-season kigo in a saijiki.

so the claim that English-language haiku are invalid or not "real" haiku because they lack a kigo doesn't hold up, unless you invalidate a whole bunch of Japanese haiku as well. the op also claimed they would categorize a lot of English "haiku" as senryū which is...an opinion. Yes, haiku tend to be focused around nature (more on that below) and senryū tend to be more comedic or about human foibles but...that's it! it's a tendency! it's not a hard and fast rule!

Third problem: the claim that a haiku is as meditative practice revolving around the kigu kigo...yeah, no. the earlier form of haiku, the hokku, were the introductory poems of the longer poetic form, the renga and the hokku gradually became a standalone poetic form known as haiku. the hokku had a lot of purposes and we have a historical record of them going back ~1000 years to Emperor Juntoku where they were declamatory poems tied to events (births, deaths, etc.) or social events (moon-viewing parties) - not really meditative. haiku, if a genre can focus on a single idea, focus on an experience and that can be real or imaginary, direct and personal or neither.

Here's another Basho poem for your consideration:

夏草や 兵どもが 夢の跡 (natsukusa ya tsuwamonodomo ga yume no ato; summer grasses--/traces of dreams/of ancient warriors)

both the dreams and the grasses are those of Basho (contemporary) and of the warriors (ancient); it's about travel, it's about connecting the present to the ancient past, it's not really so much about the summer.

(Fourth, minor problem that I'm not really going to get into: you'd have to take this 'Buddhist ideas of enlightenment and beauty' up with haiku scholar Haruo Shirane but he explicitly says in the Routledge Global Haiku Reader (2024) that "pioneers of English-language haiku [such as D.T. Suzuki, Alan Watts, and the Beats] mistakenly emphasized Zen Buddhism in Japanese haiku".....so.)

4. "The presence of the kireji...it's a concept borderline absent from English because it's an intersection of linguistics and philosophy that doesn't really exist outside of the context of Japanese."

Let's begin with clarification. What is kireji (lit. a 'cutting word')? It's a class of terms in Japanese poetry that can do a few things, depending on the specific kireji and its place in the poem. In the middle of the poem, it can mark a thematic break, a cut in the stream of thought highlighting the parallel(s) between the preceding and following phrases. At the end of the poem, it provides a sense of ending and closure - it helps mark rhythmic division, to say the least, and it is seen as the 'pivot' word.

Two problems with claims above:

a. there are haiku that do not use kireji. For the hat trick, here's a Matsuo Basho haiku from 1689 AD that is kireji-free: 初しぐれ猿も小蓑をほしげ也 (hatsu shigure saru mo komino wo hoshige nari; the first cold shower/even the monkey seems to want/a little coat of straw) <- NB: I love this haiku so much

b. the idea of a kireji, as in a pivot word that provides an inflection point with rhythmic division and structure, exist not just in English poetry but in multiple different types of poetry across time and space! The caesura in Latin and Ancient Greek! The volta in sonnets! Whatever is happening in the third line of the Korean sijo!

final thoughts:

the op included language, which I won't quote here because it was messy and tied into other rbs, about Orientalism and appropriation in English-language haiku, which is definitely a real thing. but this blanket statement ignores that the relationship between haiku and "the West", much like Japan and "the West", was and is not a one-way street. Western writers were influenced by haiku and, in turn, those writers influenced Japanese writers who wrote haiku inspired by these influences - this process has been going on for well over a century. Furthermore, English and Japanese are not the only languages in which haiku are written! Nobel Prize winner Rabindranath Tagore was writing haiku in Bengali; other Indian poets were and are writing them in Gujrati and Malayalam, particularly by the poet Ashitha. the Pakistani poet Omer Tarin has written haiku about Hiroshima! The Spanish poet Lorca published haiku in, get this, Spanish, in 1921 and the Mexican poet José Juan Tablada published more in 1922! Italian translations of Yosano Akiko were published in 1919! any discussion of the idea that English/non-Japanese-language haiku aren't really haiku because they don't hold to the "rules" (which Japanese authors have been revising, adapting, critiquing, and/or straight up flouting for centuries) or because English/non-Japanese poetry is "a shallow river whereas a good haiku is a deeply-dug well" just shows a lack of knowledge around traditions and depths of...well, poetry itself.

my god this is so long.

in summary: this is a complex topic. If anyone would like some actual information about haiku, its history, common themes and forms, or a collection of good poets, the Routledge Global Haiku Reader (2024) and Haiku Before Haiku : From the Renga Masters to Basho (2011) are great references and really accessible in their language! hmu if you're interested and I can send you some pdfs.

[im-this-kind-of-girl]

Aziraphale and Crowley's unhinged character analyzis (pt2. Crowley)

Controversial opinion:

Aziraphale and Crowley at the end of Season2 managed to accomplish the main goal they each had since the beginning of time. Only to realize that what they wanted no longer made them happy.

Disclaimer: I have no idea about what is going to happen in Good Omens. This analysis could clearly be considered a theory since I'm not Neil Gaiman, but as someone who knows about narrative and character structure, I'm going to elaborate. Also, English is not my first language, so sorry in advance.

I've already talked about Aziraphale's possible transformation arc in the Good Omens story. In here I've also written important definitions such as what's a transformation arc. I highly recommend it to read it first.

Now it's time to talk about Crowley.

Crowley, the co-protagonist and love interest.

In our role as audience, Crowley is the character with whom one tends to empathize the quickest. By the end of the second season, most would be tempted to think Crowley was right. However, this is a lie. Not only is Crowley not right, but he rejected Aziraphale just the same, choosing his principles over love.

Now, why in the first instance do we not see it that way? Well, because we have Aziraphale's point of view. We always get the angel's reaction first, we always see the way Crowley shows up again and again and again to rescue him unconditionally.

Very rarely do we have a moment where Crowley is alone in crisis because his beliefs are challenged. No, everything he does is in function of Aziraphale and we see the story from his perspective, that is, from the perspective of someone who is in love with Crowley. Because of this, Crowley is equally liked and attractive to everyone equally: we are inside Aziraphale's in love POV.

By the time Crowley proposes Aziraphale to run away together, we as the audience are seeing a proposal that is incredibly tempting to us: we want Aziraphale to accept it because it's what Aziraphale really wants. That's why the fight hurts so much, because we know internally that the two of them had the chance to be together but didn't because they're not ready yet.

Crowley's Objective

Crowley, unlike Aziraphale, was happy in Season 2 with his current situation. Having cut ties with both Heaven and Hell pleased him, because Crowley always sought only one goal throughout his entire life: freedom.

The one thing Crowley has always desired is to be himself with no excuses and no strings attached.

Since before the beginning of time, Crowley came to the conclusion that he didn't fit in Heaven. He thought he would fit in Hell, but soon realized that it was like a deteriorated version of Heaven, so he didn't fit in there either. On Earth he doesn't quite fit in either. Sure, he likes humans, has a certain admiration and curiosity for them, but he still considers them a species far different from his own. He is not human and never will be, so he can't really identify with them at all. He enjoys the advantages of humanity, but he is not one of them.

The Job episode is an indicator of this, he himself says so "I am a demon who goes along with Hell as far as I can".

In this same episode, however, the major problem he has with this is also expressed. Azira tells him "that sounds lonely". The counterpart of freedom is loneliness. To be truly free, you need to have nothing and nothing to bind you. That's why Crowley is someone who is unsympathetic and even disinterested in dealing with third parties. He does not remember faces or names, he does not get significantly close to anyone because that would compromise his desire for genuine independence.

This characteristic is the only one that is present in absolutely all versions of Crowley: the book, radio drama and even in the cursed script of the movie that never was. That's why whenever he sees danger, his first reaction is to run away.

Being free he has nothing to lose… or does he?

Crowley's dilemma

Well, Crowley never fit in by being different and so he always felt somewhat an outcast. However, it wasn't long before he noticed that Aziraphale was also different.

Clearly the angel was not like the other angels in Heaven: he enjoyed Earth, he fell into temptations, he lied to other angels. Also, it is obvious that he would not fit in Hell, and while he is more empathetic to humans, he is still innocently aloof. Aziraphale has a pure goodness that Crowley admires, the goodness that made him be kind to the demon in the first place.

Moreover, no matter the time, no matter how little they knew each other, Aziraphale could always see through Crowley's evil masquerade. The demon could burn goats and murder people, and yet Aziraphale has always held a blind faith towards him. Crowley, the Serpent of Eden, who had been his entire existence told that he's doomed to be a crawling tempter, finds in the angel an unexpected possible friend who's never been afraid or bothered by him.

Crowley eventually feels they are both the same: two supernatural entities left on Earth who learned to enjoy life on their own terms. Crowley sees in Aziraphale the companionship he never thought he'd find, the friend he thought at the moment he fell he'd never have. And that feeling of companionship and admiration slowly morphed into something more until it became love.

The season finale isn't the first time Crowley has considered leaving Earth. Probably not even his fight in Season 1 was the first time he considered it. Yet he never did. He never could because, without Aziraphale, running away would doom him to a life of solitude. Free, sure, but completely alone since no one except his angelic friend could understand him.

However, I think Crowley is not aware of what he feels. Or at least, he hasn't been for a long time. I'm sure his moment of introspection about his feelings was when Nina confronted him about it. Up to this point, Crowley considered Aziraphale his best and only friend, obviously. Crowley is loyal to a fault and always thought his relationship with Aziraphale was perfect just the way it was, but suddenly someone put it into words and he realized that yes, that's what he really wants with Aziraphale.

Crowley's decision

Crowley wants his freedom. That's why he never asked Aziraphale for explanations (because at the end of the day they were just friends), that's why he never told him that he was living in his car (because he would end up depending on him), that's why he never talked about his fall (because that would be opening up too much).

The most ironic thing about the whole ending, is that just like Crowley did with Aziraphale… Aziraphale proposed to Crowley the one thing he wants more than anything: to be together, for good, but sacrificing his freedom.

Crowley is capable of doing anything for his angel, even without acknowledging that what they had was love. He's capable of driving on fire, capable of killing Gabriel, capable of walking inside a church. Of everything except one thing.

It's the one step Crowley didn't dare take. He is not a martyr like the angel, no, he is not willing to sacrifice himself to be together. So, the obvious happened: Crowley chose his freedom over Aziraphale just as Aziraphale chose Heaven over Crowley.

The end of his arc and Aziraphale.

As I said before, I don't think Crowley will have a significant change comparable to Aziraphale's. His personality and beliefs will not be changed in a momentous way, as Crowley no longer has ties to Heaven or Hell by pulling the tab on both sides.

His side is already picked: Humanity.

His biggest change is likely to be one of purpose. Crowley is no longer going to be satisfied with his freedom. And the latter is a fact: Crowley is officially free. Without Aziraphale in the equation, he no longer has anything or anyone tying him to do anything or be any other than who he truly is. Crowley can go to Alpha Centauri and never come back; he can sleep for 3,000 years; he can go around the world in the Bentley. He can do whatever he wants. This might seem ideal to the Crowley of 300 years ago, but today's Crowley is completely consumed by loneliness.

Crowley never cared about building a home or having material things because he never wanted to be tied to anything earthly for the sake of doubt. He was always aware of the destruction of the Earth.

Love is not something that can be prevented though, and in the absence of having a home, he found it in Aziraphale.

Aziraphale: trustworthy, sweet, warm, funny, a bit of bastard but always irrevocably good. Everything Crowley lost when he fell he almost automatically found back.

To this day I wonder what Crowley is going to do now that his angel is gone and the possibility of him fleeing to the stars is becoming more and more possible. It's going to depend a lot on how much time passes between seasons, but I don't think it will be much. For not only he was his anchor, no, without Aziraphale, he doesn't have someone to cause him to want to do better, he doesn't have someone to be vulnerable with, he doesn't have a goal anymore, nobody else to impress.

He isn't evil. He isn't good. And now, he is alone.

First Crowley lost the love of God and now the love of Aziraphale. And it is then that Crowley will realize that what he really wants is not to be free, but to be loved. And this desire can only be fulfilled by the love of his life, Aziraphale.

The thing is... Crowley has always wondered why.

Why falling? Why becoming the cursed Serpent? Why could he never be truly free?

At the end of his arc, he must come to the conclusion that the answer was always in front of him:

Love is the only answer he needs.

[kierewrites]

What Would Karma Do... when you get kidnapped on your school trip? / pt. 2

navi - masterlist

Karma Akabane x Reader

Mood Song: house of balloons / glass table girls

Summary: Remember the beloved Assassination Classroom anime? This is pretty much that, except you enter the picture of Karma's chaotic school year. Let's see just how compatible the two of you are.

Warnings: kidnapping, depictions of violence, cursing, kidnappers are pervs, this is my attempt at getting out of my writers block rut :')

"Nagisa! Sugino! Karma!"

The cries seemed to echo through the boy's minds as reality slowly seeped its way back to them. None of them seemed to remember what happened until they felt the sharp pain overcome their bodies from the attack.

All Karma could hear was the sound of your voice. Crying, whimpering, screaming his name in a desperate plea for him to help you, and yet he let you slip from his grasp.

Just like that.

Now all that was left for him to think about was what those thugs were doing to you, or where the hell they could have even taken you? For all he knew, the three of you could be dead by now and they couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

It seemed surreal that just earlier in the day you were cuddled up next to him on the train, your small hand enlaced with his own. Now who knew what those filthy pigs were doing with you.

As the other boys slowly rose from their weakened positions, they seemed to notice Karma's… sour mood, to say the least. The redhead’s breathing was ragged, his fists clenched in a furious tremble. Nagisa glanced over to Sugino who shared a concerned look, the two debating on how they should confront the ticking time bomb.

"Karma it's okay, we'll get them-"

Before Nagisa could finish his words of encouragement, a raged scream poured from Karma's lips before his fist collided with the wall beside him, the crack of bone against the brick structure echoing throughout the alleyway.

"DAMN IT!"

Both boys remained still after this, their hearts sinking at the sight of their normally confident friend being torn apart from the inside. Nagisa had never seen Karma so furious, usually he kept up his assured facade even in challenging situations. 

"Are you doing okay Sugino?" Nagisa questioned, checking in on the less aggressive target first. After receiving a thumbs up, Nagisa sat up a bit more before shifting his gaze over to his troubled friend.

"Karma?"

Once his name was spoken, the redhead turned his head to the side, the sight sending chills through Nagisa's body. He was smiling.

"I think it's safe to assume those guys were pretty hardcore," Karma stated simply, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck slowly, "We could go to the cops, except those guys are the type who know their way around the system... which is fine."

Sugino and Nagisa both felt uneasy about Karma's sudden change in mood, his last words sounding awfully menacing, even for Karma. Before they could question it, the redhead finally looked up from behind his arm with the most ominous expression Nagisa had seen in awhile. 

"Cause I'm the type who likes to handle these things personally, if you know what I mean."

Sure enough, both boys knew exactly what he meant. Karma wasn't the type who got beaten easily, so to be on the losing side of an attack like this most definitely put a damper on his ego. But then to go and take his friends and girlfriend? Nagisa could only imagine the unparalleled rage Karma was feeling.

"Okay dude..." Sugino muttered while holding his arm against his aching stomach, "How do we even find them?"

Karma remained silent at this, Nagisa glancing over to Sugino while deep in thought until it came to him. Those dictionary-like guides Korosensei gave to everyone… Shuffling to his feet, Nagisa darted to his bag and lugged the giant book to the other three boys.

"Korosensei said this thing is filled with any scenario possible, there's gotta be something in here to help us!"

Karma glanced over in interest, Sugino's face lighting up as he crawled next to Nagisa while flipping through pages.

"Let's see... cheering yourself up your lonely self after seeing a lovey dovey couple... where to find cheap Kyoto soup and cheap local boutiques... this thing literally has every scenario!"

Nagisa chuckled slightly at a few of them, Korosensei really knew how to lift the mood in every situation. It honestly felt like the teacher was right there reading it with them.

"There it is! What to do when a group member has been abducted!" Nagisa shouted, both boys looming over to read the pages of information on this given scenario, "Holy crap so much detail... this has everything we need!"

Sugino nodded, a smile finally spreading across his lips along with Karma. Though unlike Sugino, Karma's smile had a more ominous glint to it as he cracked his knuckles.

"Let's go kick some old man ass."

-

The moment you woke up, every single memory flooded into your head. 

Not even bothering to take in your surroundings, you just whispered Karma's name, tears brimming at the tips of your lashes as images from the traumatic experience swarmed your mind. How could these thugs be so cruel?

The sound of your two friends stirring beside you seemed to snap you out of your horrifying trance. It was then you soaked in the building you were in. Almost with movie-like accuracy, it seemed you had been brought to some dirty abandoned warehouse. The room was large, filled with metal scraps and old wooden boxes, with the odd exception of a few pieces of dingy furniture laying around.

Glancing down, your nose scrunched upon realizing you were placed on one of the few decrepit couches displaced around the room, the creases of the old fabric filled with a dark moldy substance.

It was then that you realized you were much better kempt yourself. Your school attire had far lost uniform as the attire laid untucked and discolored with a mix of likely sweat and dirt. There wasn’t a single thing making you feel any less sick to your stomach.

The most you were able to communicate with Kayano and Kanzaki was ensuring they were both alright, which luckily all of you appeared to be uninjured with the exception of your arms being tied behind your backs.

Before you could say much else, a few men entered the dark room. You recognized most of them from the initial kidnapping, the group apparently not being very large. The men mostly just belittled all of you, telling the three of you that you were going to have a fun little “photoshoot”, and threatening that nobody would hear your screams, as a reminder to not even bother.

They always say when you experience your first traumatic experience, your brain almost becomes delirious because it’s not sure how to respond. Not sure if it’s really happening. Apparently those facts are true, your mind scrambling on how to feel or react.

Before you could think much of it, one of the men called out Kanzaki, showing the three of you a picture of her at an arcade, clearly from years ago. Your occasional glances at the raven haired girl confirmed she wasn’t proud of the memory forcibly being shown, her solemn face grimacing at the images.

After they discussed their eerily evasive knowledge of Kanzaki’s past, the men left to go talk amongst themselves while waiting for this “photographer” to show up.

"Not gonna lie, it's kind of comforting to know even you went through a faze," Kayano admitted with a soft smile, "Never would've imagined..."

Nodding in agreement you turned your head to Kanzaki, "Yeah, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, you pulled the look off well!"

Kanzaki lowered her head and sighed as you both tried to cheer her up, mumbling a thanks before looking at the two of you. 

"Yeah.. My dad was crazy strict, always on me about doing well in school and building up my resume..." Kanzaki explained, both you and Kayano frowning at her words, "It was so.. suffocating, you know?"

Kayano nodded, a pitiful chuckle escaping your own lips.

"I totally understand, my parents may not be as strict, but it’s only because I’ve never let my grades slip. The pressure of it all is so overwhelming at times." You admitted.

Kanzaki nodded quickly at you with sparkling eyes, as if you had just read her mind.

"Exactly! I just couldn't deal!" Kanzaki exclaimed before frowning once more, "So.. I ditched the uniform, glammed myself out and.. hanged where nobody knew who I was. It felt like therapy.. It was so stupid. Where did I expect to end up, right? It's E Class for me... but now I don't even know where I belong anymore..."

Kanzaki’s confession left you and Kayano to stare at the floor in deep thought. Being the school’s idol, you assumed Kanzaki would’ve never had such experiences growing up.

Just as you were going to attempt to cheer the poor girl up, the sound of footsteps snapped you all from your conversation, a new wave of dread filling your cores.

"Sounds to me like you would be right at home with us! Grades and all that pointless bullshit don't mean jack here." The man hissed with narrowed eyes, "We eat those rich kid scums for breakfast, nothing's sweeter than knocking those stuffed shirts down a peg or two."

Narrowing your eyes at the man's words, you glanced over at another thug who followed after.

"The only thing that matters is having a little fun right?"

Their words had your brows knit together in annoyance. Could one genuinely think so highly of themselves as to make a living off of harassing others that are trying to do good for themselves?

Before you could respond, Kayano seemed to mirror your thoughts, her face darkening as she muttered three words that she would probably regret.

"You're a jerk."

Suddenly the disgusting grin the man once wore faded, your body going numb in fear of what he would do next. Sure enough he lifted Kayano from the couch by the collar of her uniform with an angry growl, "I see how it is! Little miss perfect thinks she's better than me!"

The sight of Kayano sobbing and trying to jerk herself out of the man’s grasp had your blood boiling in anger. What gave these men the right to treat you like this?

After everything you've been through, there was no reason why you should be sitting around and letting all of this happen. For so long you've been living in fear, but enough is enough. You had already lost Karma... you would be damned if you lost anyone else too.

"Let her go!" You shouted, wobbling yourself up so you were sitting on your knees.

All eyes fell on you now, the man holding Kayano freezing before narrowing his eyes down to you.

"Oh but of course, how could I forget about you?"

Suddenly your breath hitched as the man dropped Kayano haphazardly onto the grungy couch. The surge of confidence you had now vanished as the man began to close in on you like a predator does their prey.

"I knew right from the start when I saw you on the train, I just had to have you..." The man sneered, bending down before you as his hands began to play with your hair, "Foreign school girls are highly expensive you know, tell me where you're from, yeah?"

Furrowing your brows you clenched your teeth as you felt him grope at your sides, your feeble attempt to shake him off only ended in him gripping your chin harshly causing you to wince in pain.

"I asked you a question sweetheart."

"(Country)." You muttered through grit teeth, keeping your glare locked on him as he laughed boisterously as if this was the best thing he heard all day.

"You hear that boys? We got a (Country) girl here! We're about to be rich!" The man boomed, the sick men behind him sneering at you as you shriveled yourself up against the back of the couch.

“Oh don't cower away now, doll.” The man cooed, grabbing your shirt and pulling you back to the edge of the couch, "Don’t look so scared, we’ll treat ya real well… hell I may even keep you with how much you’re worth.”

Those were the words that truly shook you, the confidence you once had fully vanished as you felt your mouth go dry. The thought of never seeing your friends again... your family… Karma? Tears began to glisten in your eyes again, threatening to spill.

The man only grinned at your response, his thumb brushing across your cheek as he grabbed your chin once more, “Don’t cry on me sweetheart, that’s only going to entice-”

In a fit of desperate anger, you decided to shut the man up the only way you could. Moving your head back out of his grasp, you quickly latched your teeth around his finger and clenched them as hard as you could.

In seconds he jumped back from you, a loud howl escaping his lips as he rubbed his now bleeding finger before looking at you with widened eyes.

"D..Did you just bite me you crazy bitch?!"

Furrowing your brows you screamed as loud as you could, begging anyone for help. Begging and praying that someone was nearby to hear you. Kayano and Kanzaki caught on with your idea, screaming alongside you in hopes of someone hearing the shrill screams.

Whether someone heard you or not, the stunt you pulled seemed to prove useless as the seething man before you looked at you with crazed eyes. Midscream, you felt your body being lifted into the air, the harsh grasp around your neck silencing any noise you attempted to make.

The sound of your friends crying your name made your body shiver, the sight surely not a pretty one to see as all you could do was shake and tremble in his hold.

"How do you like that, huh bitch? If you're going to bite and scream like a dog, then I'll fucking treat you like one!"

His words would’ve stung more had you not been fighting for consciousness, the tears once brimming at your lashes were now rushing down your cheeks as you gasped for air. Any attempt at getting the ropes untied from your wrists proved useless.

It wasn’t until your complexion neared a pale purplish hue that the man finally released you, throwing your limp body onto the couch with a thud. You felt yourself fall into the laps of Kayano and Kanzaki, their desperate whispers of reassurement falling on deaf ears as you gasped for air in between coughs.

"When we're done here you go back to whatever fancy hotel you're in and tell whoever asks that you were just out singing karaoke and lost track of time," The man instructed with narrowed eyes before glaring at you, "Except for you, little brat. I was considering letting your little friends buy your freedom, but after all the trouble you've put me through, you'll never see the light of day again."

The purely sick laughter of the man echoed around the room, the sound sending fear through all of you as one of the metal doors clicked open.

"Speak of the devil.." The man said, noticing the door open as well, "My photographer buddies are here!"

Though your vision was still fairly blurred, you were able to glance up at the door to notice a tuft of orange hair. The only issue was that the bright locks were nearly dragging against the ground. As the figure made its way from the shadows, it was revealed that he wasn’t awake at all, rather beaten to a pulp based on the purple bruises that littered his face.

"Huh, what the hell?"

"School trip guidebook page one thousand and forty three..." You heard a familiar voice speak, all of your heads raising in recognition, "What to do when a group member has been abducted. If there are no leads on the perpetrators, think back to said accents or quirks that might indicate whether said perpetrators are local. If not, if the perpetrators were wearing school uniforms refer to page one thousand three hundred and thirty four..."  

As Nagisa read the all too familiar words from a certain handbook you remember receiving, a small smile curled at the corner of your lips.

"You found us!" Kayano squealed, but was quickly overshadowed by the man before you shouting.

"What the hell?! How'd you even know where to look?"

Nagisa simply continued to read from Korosensei's guidebook, explaining each detail as to how they located us. It almost sounded too good to be true, and based off of the faces of the men they thought the same thing as well.

"Alright, so what's it gonna be gentleman?" Karma spoke, the sound of his voice making your eyes water as your smile grew, realizing the redhead was still alive, "Fight or flight? We'll go easy if you back down now but after all you've put us through, you're not getting out of this unscathed,"

Even with your vision obscured, the sight of his ominous golden eyes peering through his dark red locks was evident, enough to even make you shiver.

"That's a promise."

The feeling of hope hadn’t lasted long as the large thug before you chuckled at Karma’s words, seeming to be the only one not phased by their entrance.

"Acting all badass... You high school kids crack me up." The man hissed with a smirk, "Why do you even bother, you saw how far it got miss (Country) girl over here."

For a quick second your eyes locked with Karma's, golden hues drinking in your broken figure until he scowled and looked away, the sight making you want to shrink up into a ball and hide away. He was pissed.

"How about you say hello to some friends of mine.. see how far that attitude gets you with them."

The new voice was followed with an eerie chuckle, four new lifeless figures being presented at the doorway with a pair of glowing red eyes peering from the darkness.

"Say hello to them if you'd like.. but be advised though, they probably won't hear you."

All of your friends were finally able to smile with relief, your eyes lightening up at the sight of your teacher.

"Korosensei!" 

Suddenly your teacher revealed himself from the shadows, holding up the four men as if it were nothing at all to him.

"Sorry I'm a little late to the festivities, I figured it would be best to let you handle this on your own while I searched elsewhere, just to cover all the bases." Korosensei explained, "Now why don't we split up and teach these filthy thugs a good ole Class E lesson?"

The three boys beside him seemed to light up at those words, each of them grinning maliciously as they followed after their teacher in attacking the group of thugs.

Korosensei was doing most of the work, making sure to lecture each one of the disgusting thugs about how your class wasn't snobby like most other private schools, and how you all worked hard while not tearing others down around you.

It was a heartwarming sentiment to say the least, it was just strange to see Korosensei have time to lecture these guys while they charged at him with knives and other weapons. There was no doubt that Korosensei was on another level.

Kanzaki and Kayano giggled in excitement, their heads glancing down to your limp form as Kayano reassured you that everything would be okay. And for a second, it felt like everything would be.

But you should've known by now not to assume anything.

A pair of strong arms wrapped around your torso and lifted you from off the couch, before you could register your friend’s screams or even what was happening, you were thrown over a large shoulder.

"Get that one away for now until we can regroup!"

Your eyes widened, this couldn't be happening. No.. no.. no. You were too damn close to be taken away like this. Gritting your teeth you began to slam your head against the back of the man’s legs while kicking at his gut in an attempt to make him drop you.

"Q..Quit that you little brat!" The man growled, his arms squeezing tightly around your torso causing you to yelp in pain. Why did he have to be so damn strong?

The sound of your name being screamed by Kanzaki and Kayano alerted your other classmates that were in the midst of giving a good beating, the three of them noticing the thug carrying your squirming body away.

"These fuckers just won't take a hint, will they?" Karma growled, releasing the head he had in his hand and shoving the limp thug away before running towards the man holding you.

"L..Let me... go! You p..pig!" You cried, your kicks turning into pathetic squirms as you felt like the life was being squeezed out of you. For the third time that day you saw those dark spots that plagued your vision, it was humiliating.

Just when you felt your lashes begin to flutter shut, you felt the man beneath you freeze. Since your senses were nearly fried from being on the verge of passing out, you didn’t hear the harsh scream of the thug until you collided with the floor.

Though you still were slowly gaining consciousness, you could at least feel two hands grip your face, your eyes registering those bright red strands of hair.

Karma held your weak body up as he quickly pulled out his pocket knife and sliced the ropes that held your wrists together. Rubbing at your arms a bit aggressively, the redhead grabbed your lolling head once more and called your name.

“Y/n, you there? Ya hearing me angel?”

Blinking a bit, your eyes focused enough to see the concern in his eyes, his lips moving in what you assumed was your name. Glancing behind him, you saw the man that was once carrying you now on the ground, gripping at his knees.

“Y/n! Are you alright?” Karma now cried, his voice finally ringing in your ears as you looked to him, now feeling the tears running down your face as you nodded vigorously.

“Y..Yes yes… M’alright Karma! I’m… okay.” You whispered, forcing a smile on your lips as you tried to sit up before the two of you heard the metal door click beside you.

The thug was struggling to open the door as he tried to crawl away from the two of you, the sight making the redhead growl before he glanced back at your heaving body.

“You just stay here and breathe for me, alright angel?” Karma said softly, running his non-bloodied hand across your cheek before standing up and walking towards the pathetic man.

"You told me not to play hero huh?" Karma hissed with a psychotic grin, grabbing the man by his ankles and tugging him back away from the door, "Fine! I'll be the bad guy!"

Without a second thought, Karma’s fists connected with the man’s jaw with a frightening crack. Punch after punch, Karma relentlessly beat the thug, his sinister laugh filling the air as the hits began to grow harder and harder.

Though it twisted your insides, the thought of that man getting what was coming felt good. But with that said, there were only so many more hits he would be able to take before it would be too late for him.

Once you eventually were able to breathe normally, you stood up shakily and started walking towards the two in order to stop Karma, but your movement was stopped when a yellow tentacle wrapped around your wrist. Whipping your head around you noticed your teacher with a rather solemn face.

"Let him finish, the boy has so much pent up rage right now, it'll be best for him to take it out now rather than on you or one of his classmates," Korosensei explained, your heart dropping at the sound of that. You could only imagine how stressed out and angry the Karma was.

Even with that in mind though, you feared that Karma would take this too far. The crazed look in his eye only getting worse with each resounding punch.

"But if we don't stop him now Korosensei, he may end up-"

"I won't let him get that far I promise you that,” Your teacher spoke, placing a tentacle on your shoulder before bending down to you, “Now head back out to safety with your other classmates and get that neck of yours checked out, no severe injuries correct?"

Swallowing thickly, you rubbed at the back of your neck before letting out a shaky sigh.

"I don't believe so, just some minor stuff.” You mumbled, offering a forced smile before you shuffled towards the front door, one of your classmates running to you and helping you out.

Your teacher only nodded at you, his body facing back to the relentless redhead who continued his vicious attacks on the now regretful thug.

-

Karma couldn't lie to himself. If his teacher hadn't stepped in to stop his actions, the unconscious thug beneath him would've been a dead corpse in his hands.

How could he help it? They beat him up, kidnapped his friends, then he comes to find the girl he loves barely conscious on a filthy couch. He swore to protect you and he failed, and for that he was going to show these bastards a lesson.

The redhead even sensed when the thug was reaching fatal levels, but he didn't care. He ignored the man's pleas to stop. Why should he listen? He didn't listen to your desperate cries when he tried to take you away! 

Karma's fists ached but he barely felt it, instead he bared his teeth in fury as he cracked each of his fist's against the thug’s face. He didn't feel the blood running down his fists or the bruises forming on his knuckles, only the satisfaction of sweet revenge.

As his hits began to slow down his eyes glimmered in joy, knowing this final blow would be it for the sorry excuse of a man. Raising his fist with a crazed grin he was ready to smash it down into the man's skull until a yellow tentacle wrapped around his wrist. Karma whipped his head around with a growl, trying to free his wrist from his teacher's grasp.

"Stay out of this you damn octopus!"

Korosensei's hold only grew stronger as the creature's voice grew rather serious, "Karma you're going to kill that man, you must stop."

Karma laughed at the irony of his teacher's words. Korosensei was going to lecture him right now? Seriously?

"Why do you care? We're in an assassination classroom right! Killing is what we do!" Karma shouted with clenched fists, "This filthy pig tried to hurt your classmates!"

Karma's breathing became heavy as he felt his fists shake in fury, his eyes feeling hot as he looked down at the disgusting man.

"He tried to take her."

The feeling of Korosensei's tentacle suddenly disappeared, Karma's hand falling down to his knees as he kept his golden eyes trained on the ground.

"I understand how you're feeling, young man. Angry, scared, vengeful. You have every right to feel this way, but think about it like this," Korosensei explained, "These men around you tried to take your friends away and maybe even harm them for personal gain, why would you want to lower yourself down to their level for revenge?"

Karma remained silent, his fists loosening up as he looked at his teacher through his red tufts of hair.

"Y/n is okay, your friends are okay, that's all that matters at the moment. There's no doubt that you're training to become an assassin, but you must understand that assassins take pride in their work and don't just kill anyone for fun. Don't ruin your future for revenge, young man."

Surprisingly Karma felt… better. He hated to admit it, but the damn creature always knew the right things to say. Honestly Karma knew he lost himself in the moment, he could only thank his teacher for not letting him go too far.

"Now I suggest you go out there and check on Y/n, the poor girl has only been here for a few weeks and she's already experienced such a traumatic event. She's going to need you by her side."

For once during the whole talk Karma smiled at his teacher, taking his tentacle to stand up before they both walked outside to meet with their classmates.

-

When you made it outside you were surprised to see the sunset lowering just above the horizon. Time was lost while you were locked inside that decrepit building

Your classmates were quick to be at your side. After enough eyes examined you, it was determined you didn’t have any serious injuries, just some bruised spots and sore muscles. Luckily Nagisa offered to get you some water from a nearby convenience store, the cool liquid soothing your throat at least.

Once the chaos had settled down, your classmates decided to sit on the curb across the street from the building, talking amongst themselves. You decided to refrain from talking, your throat injury providing a helpful excuse to do so. But in reality, it’s more because you felt sick to your stomach.

Surprisingly you weren't completely traumatized by the events that had just occurred, for some reason that's not what bothered you the most out of everything that happened today. It was just the way you were so pathetic, so helpless. You should've been able to do something.

Instead you were forced to watch your boyfriend get attacked, watch your friends get harassed, and make everyone worry because you were so weak... so pathetic.

In your deep thought, you hadn’t even heard the grunt beside you as a tall redhead took a seat beside you on the sidewalk. The sound of his cough snapped you from your thoughts as you glanced up at him, seeing his golden eyes already looking down at you, though they were quick to drop to your neck, his eyes quickly narrowing.

"Damn it, I can't believe how bad it looks." Karma muttered, his fingers grazing against the damaged skin resulting in you sucking air through your teeth from the mild pain of the touch, to which he quickly jerked his hand away.

Quickly looking back to the road, you chuckled weakly with a frown, “Gee thanks.”

Karma clicked his tongue and bumped your side slightly, "You know what I meant angel, don't be like that."

You forced out a laugh, your eyes remaining glued to the ground as your fingers nervously fidgeted against your knee caps. Your actions didn't go unnoticed by the redhead, his hand gently grabbing your fidgeting fingers to force them to a still.

"Are you okay Y/n?"

Oh how you wished he hadn't uttered those four words. You were dreading those words falling from anyone's lips, knowing they would crumble the walls you tried so hard to keep up.

Sure enough the warm teardrops that had been threatening to spill from your lashes began to trickle out one by one, your sudden release of emotions causing you to sniffle.

Karma was quick to grab at your cheek and move your head to face his own, his face immediately softening as you burst into tears before him. Without second thought he shoved you into his chest and wrapped his arms around you tightly, gripping at the locks of your hair and inhaling your scent as he kissed at the top of your head.

"Shit Y/n... I'm so sorry, that must've been so scary for you. I should've been there and I wasn't-"

"Shut up!"

Out of everything Karma expected you to say, it wasn’t that. His hold on you softened as you shoved yourself away from his chest, your sobs growing louder as you rubbed aggressively at your face. You almost looked... angry? The sight scared Karma to death, thinking you could only be mad at him.

"Shut up, shut up, just shut up!" You cried as you looked down to your shaking hands, "You shouldn't have been there, I should've been there!"

Karma's eyes widened at this, confusion running through his mind as you continued.

"You put yourself before me to save me and as soon as you got attacked all I did was watch like an idiot! A..And when they took me away and I had to watch you get kicked to what I thought was death! All I could do was cry and watch you get attacked, I felt so.. so weak!"

Now the puzzle pieces were clicked together in Karma's head. You weren't mad at him... you were mad at yourself.

And somehow, that felt worse for him.

"And when we got kidnapped and they just kept harassing us, all I could do was shout at them and hope they would stop! I..I.. I should've been able to do something! But instead all I could do was watch, all I ever do is watch. I put everyone else around me in danger or make everyone else worry because... because..."

Your face grew red, every emotion you felt bottled up inside as you squeezed your eyes shut.

"Because I’m weak!"

This caused everyone to silence, the only sound being heard was the cool evening wind blowing against the metal signs and fall leaves that littered the ground.

"I..I'm weak... and I'm pathetic... and-"

The next string of words were cut off when a pair of lips smashed against yours. They weren't angry, they weren't guilty, they were simple and welcoming. The feeling of his warm lips pressing against your own caused more tears to stream from your face as you gripped down on his hands tightly until the redhead moved away from you.

"You are not fucking weak, you hear me? You're not weak for being scared, or pathetic for not being able to do anything. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard!" Karma shouted with a frown as he looked at you with an intense gaze, "I got beaten because I was reckless and moved on instinct rather than thinking things through."

Inhaling sharply,  you swallowed what saliva you forgot you had in your mouth and as your teeth clamped down on the inside of your lip to prevent more tears from spilling as your nails dug into Karma's hands.

"You were strong enough to fight back against those pigs and hold your ground even in a scary situation, so don't you dare say you're weak, do you understand me?" Karma questioned as he cupped your cheek and looked into your eyes, "I was never angry at you, I was angry at myself for letting you slip away. And now I'm going to promise you that I'm going to act more with a level head, so long as you promise to always tell me how you're feeling and to stop bottling up these feelings inside."

You couldn't help the feeling of your lips twitching, your eyes blinking to hold back any tears from escaping your exhausted eyes as you looked up to him. His eyes were stern yet soft, his thumb rubbing against the smooth skin of your palm as he gave your hands a light squeeze.

"Promise me Y/n?"

Smiling softly you let out a slight laugh, your head nodding quickly as more tears streamed down your face.

"I promise Karma."

Karma smiled at this, his palm brushing away some residing tears from your soft cheeks while pushing some of your unkempt hair behind your ear. Somehow even in your disheveled state, you looked so damn beautiful to him.

The two of you hadn't noticed each other leaning in until the sound of a pen clicking and a familiar voice cooing made you both back away.

“Star Crossed lovers reunited after being forcefully separated, I mean the story is just writing itself!” Korosensei cried, somehow having a box of tissues in one of his many tentacles.

At this you began to giggle along with the rest of your classmates, and though Karma put on an annoyed facade, he couldn’t stop the boyish grin from creeping upon his lips when your angelic smile filled his ears once more.

And just then as he caught a glimpse of your pretty smile laughing with the milky sunset rays beaming across your face, he knew one thing was for sure.

He would never let anything take you away from him, ever again.

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