#then again i only opened these documents because i was trying to find inspiration for my good omens wip lmaoo

[fearandhatred]

reading through my very old unpublished stony wips for the first time in years and oh my god. WHY WOULD I WRITE THIS

[byoldervine]

Types Of Writer’s Block (And How To Fix Them)

1. High inspiration, low motivation. You have so many ideas to write, but you just don’t have the motivation to actually get them down, and even if you can make yourself start writing it you’ll often find yourself getting distracted or disengaged in favour of imagining everything playing out

Try just bullet pointing the ideas you have instead of writing them properly, especially if you won’t remember it afterwards if you don’t. At least you’ll have the ideas ready to use when you have the motivation later on

2. Low inspiration, high motivation. You’re all prepared, you’re so pumped to write, you open your document aaaaand… three hours later, that cursor is still blinking at the top of a blank page

RIP pantsers but this is where plotting wins out; refer back to your plans and figure out where to go from here. You can also use your bullet points from the last point if this is applicable

3. No inspiration, no motivation. You don’t have any ideas, you don’t feel like writing, all in all everything is just sucky when you think about it

Make a deal with yourself; usually when I’m feeling this way I can tell myself “Okay, just write anyway for ten minutes and after that, if you really want to stop, you can stop” and then once my ten minutes is up I’ve often found my flow. Just remember that, if you still don’t want to keep writing after your ten minutes is up, don’t keep writing anyway and break your deal - it’ll be harder to make deals with yourself in future if your brain knows you don’t honour them

4. Can’t bridge the gap. When you’re stuck on this one sentence/paragraph that you just don’t know how to progress through. Until you figure it out, productivity has slowed to a halt

Mark it up, bullet point what you want to happen here, then move on. A lot of people don’t know how to keep writing after skipping a part because they don’t know exactly what happened to lead up to this moment - but you have a general idea just like you do for everything else you’re writing, and that’s enough. Just keep it generic and know you can go back to edit later, at the same time as when you’re filling in the blank. It’ll give editing you a clear purpose, if nothing else

5. Perfectionism and self-doubt. You don’t think your writing is perfect first time, so you struggle to accept that it’s anything better than a total failure. Whether or not you’re aware of the fact that this is an unrealistic standard makes no difference

Perfection is stagnant. If you write the perfect story, which would require you to turn a good story into something objective rather than subjective, then after that you’d never write again, because nothing will ever meet that standard again. That or you would only ever write the same kind of stories over and over, never growing or developing as a writer. If you’re looking back on your writing and saying “This is so bad, I hate it”, that’s generally a good thing; it means you’ve grown and improved. Maybe your current writing isn’t bad, if just matched your skill level at the time, and since then you’re able to maintain a higher standard since you’ve learned more about your craft as time went on

[alicerosejensen]

Shades Of Cool

So here is the angst as promised. I have a lot of requests in messages and I will try to fulfill them, but now I want to write something sad. There was already a similar text, but it did not say exactly how the reader died.

Warning: mention of suicide; the reader has suicidal tendencies; longing with a bad end; Leon is hurt but holding on; Leon!Vendetta

(Depression is my profession, huh.)

Leon knew you had a failed attempt in the past. Everything has been documented for a long time and is in your medical file, the information of which Hannigan requested at the request of Leon when you first met him. Just to make sure you has nothing to do with Umbrella or other bioterrorists. Of course, you did not have any dark spots in your biography that would have made another chip on his heart if he knew that you were one of those who create bioweapons or have any dealings with them.

Except one.

“Suicide attempt…two years ago. Poisoned by sleeping pills. According to the medical records, she was barely resuscitated." Hannigan's voice came out with a sly grin as Leon's heart sank.

But why?

Leon did not ask you because he realized that he opened that page of your life about which you did not want to tell him yet and had every right to do so. However, you still remembered that sad look of his when he came to your house and hit his shoulder against the door frame. You never told him about it, but you suspected that he knew. You had a few cuts on your arms, but you lied to him that your cat left them for you as a child. Complete nonsense and Leon, holding your wrist in his hand, ran his thumb over deep footprints, looking intently at them.

"Never do that again" from his serious tone, everything inside turned upside down and, meeting with the blueness of his eyes, you lost all words and thoughts, feeling only shame in front of him. As if your problems are too small compared to his and how could you do such things with your body when he sees horrors literally every day? Goosebumps ran down your spine as Leon's lips touched each of your scars as he kissed them. “If something is bothering you, we can solve it differently”

But you didn't know how to decide otherwise. This is something that Leon should have understood before the irreparable happened. Leon was afraid to build relationships, and you didn't believe that someone could love you. Like it was impossible. But if Leon dared to let you get closer to him, to his heart broken into many parts, then you inflicted another knife wound on him.

Pictures of your meeting, communication, joint meetings, ringing laughter, everything revolves before his eyes as a bright kaleidoscope around one colorless event.

His indifferent face seems to show no emotion as he stands in front of the bed, peering down at your lifeless body sprawled on the clean sheets.

He didn't come home to you to find you dead.

But you're so tired of everything. Always not good enough. Never smart enough or pretty enough. There was always... there was always something missing. Eventually something started telling you to stop everything again.

Leon didn't need you. He preferred to while away his days in bars or in correspondence with Ada Wong, which he probably thought you knew nothing about. For everyone, you were too stupid and naive to notice clearly obviously, but you noticed ... you just didn't always show it. Maybe of course you took everything to heart, but even your family constantly inspired you that you were not as good as the rest. This was the reason for the first attempt. But love is short-lived, like a candle in the wind. So you went out like a candle, leaving behind only a dissolving haze. This sea of endless self-loathing covered you in endless waves, plunging you deeper and deeper into a dark abyss from which you no longer wanted to get out. At some point, you just realized that no one will even notice if you leave.

Suppressed by childhood fears, these deep wounds never healed. And the pain was too real, even though you somehow charmed Leon with your inner light and agreed to be with him, you were still alone with this pain.

There was so little good in your life that in the end even Leon turned out to be something negative that finally knocked you off your feet, made you drown, even though he remained your most beloved person. You were always very close to him and very far at the same time, because it was Leon who set the distance. The only woman he could let in without fear and looking back was not you at all.

And yet there was something that brought a smile to the face until the very end. Moments when Leon said that you belong to him and he is obliged to take care of you but in fact even he threw you away as an unnecessary thing.

You are so tired... Leon finally pushed you away after the death of his entire squad. He didn't need you anymore, no matter how hard you tried to help him, he just left without a word, taking the bag with his few things, leaving you in the middle of the room broken like a doll.

With slowly flowing tears on your cheeks, broken from the inside, and only when the door finally slammed shut behind him, you felt pain in your knees when you fell, hitting them on the floor. No word could describe how you felt when he left "us" behind. It hurt more than any betrayal, forcing you to roll onto his side of the bed and touch his nonexistent face. No one could help you forget him, and you were so tired of falling asleep thinking about him, unable to stop loving him. It was so cruel. You literally choked on your own howling and coughing, choking on tears.

He didn't even have anything to say to you. He just left when he saw fit, kicking you out of his life.

You thought pain was the worst feeling, but worse was the endless silence inside you that followed Leon's departure. Not even going to delve into the reason for the distance, as if out of spite, your whole family began to put pressure on you again, condemning you for a small mistake. As if a huge black cloud clouded whole life. You didn't want anything else. There were no tears, no sadness, no joy. You have always been worse than others. From early childhood. Even at your crappy job, you were considered worthless, which eventually led back to the only solution to the problem.

But even if you died, you would create unnecessary problems for your family with a funeral, and they certainly would not want to do this. The guilt was precisely because of this: the knowledge that someone would take the time to prepare your body for burial. But the upsides of your death seemed to far outweigh the few downsides when you were holding a full vial of sleeping pills in your hands.

That's why you corrected yourself. Cleaned up the house, had a nice chat with the upstairs neighbor while she complimented the dress you bought, thinking you were probably going on a date; made the bed with new linens, took a shower and put on light makeup before pouring a full glass of water and drinking sleeping pills one after the other until you emptied the whole vial and your poisoned body collapsed on the bed, staining the pillow with a thin line of blood running from under your nose and mouth.

However, even outwardly you did not look like a sleeper. The heartbeat gradually slowed down, and you plunged deeper and deeper into the dark bottom, from which there was no longer a single chance to get out. There was not even a farewell note, although you wanted to apologize to everyone for the fact that those around you spent so much time on you, but all their hopes were crushed. So death really was a deliverance from all problems.

You just finally solved all your problems in one single right way.

And Leon hated himself for leaving you for months without saying a word. However, something affected him in New York that he rushed to you as soon as the plane landed back, banging on the door of your small apartment to no avail.

This time he wasn't even drunk. Beaten, bruised, but completely sober and alive, unlike you. Because your heart hasn't beat in at least four hours, so your lips have taken on a bluish tint.

"Sweetheart, I know I acted like a fucking asshole but please let's talk. Open the door, I know you're home"

The comic of the whole situation was that the door was actually open, you deliberately did not close it so that in the morning your friend would find you.

"I love you... I was afraid that I might lose you too if I was by your side, but now I understand that I was an idiot! Please, let's talk, I don't want to lose you anymore."

Nothing.

Leon took a deep breath, resting his forehead on the door, trying to hear your steps or movements. Silence. But he knows that you are at home - he saw the open window. He knew that he acted like a son of a bitch, he knew that you had every right to hate him, and yet he wanted to return you.

Another series of knocks followed by no response. Leon accidentally put his hand on the door handle, and then with a click it opened, causing him to freeze in place in amazement. Leon pushed open the door into a dark hallway, and the dim light from the next room made him move further inside, shuddering slightly as the chill of the night ran down his spine.

"Sweetheart?" He slammed the window to a distinctive click, but you still did not respond to his voice.

Your phone was on the table, and next to it was an empty vial of some pills with an almost empty glass of water. Leon unlocked your phone by looking at the list of recent messages, but there was nothing interesting about them. However, taking a vial in his hand and reading the name on the label...

You definitely didn't have any sleep problems! A flash of insight, backed up by the knowledge that you've already had one failed attempt in the past, made Leon's heart sink and freeze as he entered the bedroom and saw your silhouette lying on the bed.

"Baby..." Leon quickly ran up to you, after a few seconds of silent stupor.

Leon turned your body towards him, feeling for a pulse, rubbing your shoulders. The sight of gore on your face for some reason raised a flash of accumulated negative feelings. Pressing your head to his chest, Leon flipped the lamp button to light up the bedroom a little and swallowed the bitter lump in his throat when he saw the lifeless pallor.

"Don't you dare die, do you hear me?!"

You didn't hear. Leon scooped you into his arms, hugging you, whispering something in your head while he searched for the phone in his pocket. While the ambulance was coming, those minutes seemed to drag on forever. Any attempts to bring you to your senses, to at least open your eyes a little, were not blamed for success.

But it was unbearable when the doctors declared death in an unimaginably dry voice without even trying to do anything, despite his furious cries after your body was immersed in a black body bag. Leon just watched silently as the ambulance drove away and the police considered that death by suicide was not worth close attention. "Unrequited Love" would then be whispered among themselves as Leon read a copy of the autopsy report that Hannigan got for him, looking at him with a regretful look.

The following days passed in black despondency and alcohol. Leon would like to burn out all the feelings from his heart for you along with the endless guilt for leaving you. It feels like it's rotting from the inside. There is not the slightest desire to look at you dead, but he comes ... He comes and looks with an empty, otherworldly look at the same serene you. Already in a different dress, but still beautiful, albeit lifeless. he would like to make love to you now, hold you in his arms and luxuriate in bed. Count your moles, cover your back with light kisses and hug you. He would like anything now, but not to see you dead. His hand covered yours with his thumb, running over your knuckles as if remembering what it was like to hold your hand. Some looked at him in bewilderment, but Leon didn't care anymore. He gently stroked your face, trying to ignore the urge to smash everything around from the purest rage and despair that filled it.

But in the end, when all other senses recede, when the lid of your coffin closes forever, only a black, empty nothing remains inside Leon.

[berylcups]

Yandere Files: Ghiaccio X Foreign Reader

CW: stalking, imprisonment, death (mentioned), jealousy, hostess clubs, masturbation, phone sex(is it if it’s one sided?),immigration, outercourse, mild toxicity

Notes: just a disclaimer- I have no idea how immigration works in Italy or how it works across other countries but I thought it would be a good point of conflict for Ghia to act up to. Also- Ghiaccio was a tough nut to crack. (No pun intended 👀) He’s not very sexually motivated as a character he seems so I had to really try hard with this one! I hope it’s not too OOC and you ice fuckers like it though~🩵Beryl

Minors DNI

Y/N has been living in Napoli Italy for about 4 and a half years now. It’s tough living on their own but it’s worth it. They’re in college for design and work a job that they love. They work in a nice cafe as a hostess and it pays ridiculously well! The only catch is… there’s a lot of mafia activity. Y/N hears and sees things they aren’t supposed to- but that’s okay because they look the other way.

Now this was a special kind of cafe. It took heavy inspiration from the east for its heavily…attentive service. Hostesses would be pouring wine for their guests, lighting their cigarettes/cigars, sitting with them, conversing, laughing at their jokes, stroking their ego, and even joining them on drinks - non alcoholic of course! We can’t have the staff getting tipsy on the job!

Melone being the creep that he is, surveyed this place out for good mothers for BabyFace. But he also really likes the atmosphere so he got his other teammates to go along. Even Sorbet and Gelato! The two had no interest in the women but they enjoyed being pampered by them. But Ghiaccio… he didn’t really like it. Why would he want some host/hostess to be bugging him every 5 minutes??? He doesn’t get it! That’s until he met Y/N of course.

Aesthetics didn’t mean much to the man but he thought they were very gorgeous- it didn’t matter how tall or small, thick or thin, light or dark they were. He was enamored by their open mindedness and that they were willing to just actively listen to him. They gave their full attention to this man, and gave out intelligent thought out answers-to the best of their language capabilities.

“Oh uh sorry… what was the correct name for that pasta again? Shit. I can’t remember! It looks like little corkscrews. Like the part of the wine bottle opener you use to screw into the cork .” Y/N struggled trying to find the name.

“I believe the one you’re looking for is fusilli.” He replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Yes! That’s the one! Thank you Ghiaccio. Well I had the fusilli alla checca the other day and I was surprised. I really liked it despite me not liking cheese very much. I’m glad I listened to you.” They said cheerfully.

He couldn’t help but smirk from having his ego stroked like that. Of course he’s right! He knows everything about Italy and its wonderful culture.

“Sigh… I’m really gonna miss it here.” They said looking down at their coffee with a sad smile.

Ghiaccio nearly spits out his coffee. “What?!” He yelled. “ I mean- what do you mean by that?” He lowered his voice trying not to cause a scene.

“Well as you know I’m graduating from _____ University in a few weeks… and my Visa is almost up. I only have about 3 months left before I have to go back home to _______.” They said gloomily. “I really don’t want to leave because I love it here so much.”

“Go apply for a permanent residency! They should take you in since you've been here almost 5 years.” He replied.

“I wish I could…but my mom is waiting for me at home and I’m all she has. And the wait time for the documents will take longer than I am allowed here legally.” They signed sadly. “Well… let’s not let this ruin our time together! We still have 3 months. Let’s make the best of it right Ghia?” They chirped trying to bring the mood back up.

He wanted to shake them by their shoulders and tell them that’s not good enough and they can’t just leave him but he can’t just have an outburst. It will scare them away! He has to think of a plan to keep Y/N here with him. PERMANENTLY.

“Yeah, you’re right Y/N. Let’s just enjoy the time we have left.” He said, faking a small smile.

He was seething inside. How DARE they try to leave him. Of ALL PEOPLE it had to be Y/N to turn their back on him?! Not on his watch! He was going to use his resources and connections to make sure that Y/N doesn’t leave the country of Italy ever.

————————————————

Now that he’s smitten with you, some of your regulars stopped showing up. You wonder why? It’s starting to worry you a little bit financially. You have to make sure that you have enough money for the trip home!

“I wonder why people are showing up less and less… am I not doing good enough?” You asked dejectedly.

“No of course not! Their wives/husbands probably found out that they were hanging out here and probably put them on a tight leash.” Ghiaccio lied.

Anytime he’d see one of the patrons get a little too flirty or handys with you he’d corner them in the back alley and beat them with an inch of their lives. Or worse, do what he does best-freeze them till they shatter like glass.

While you’re still here he follows you everywhere and you are too distracted by everyday life to notice it. Oh! He just happens to be near your university! How about a ride home in his nice car? It beats taking public transport. Or when you happen to run into him at the grocery store? How about he gives you a quick ride back home so you don’t have to carry all those heavy groceries home? He’s so thoughtful!

When he’s home alone , or on a mission he’s always thinking of you . He’s sexually frustrated because when he furiously masturbates his hand isn’t enough anymore . He wants to feel your hand around his cock instead or better yet your warm hole.

He calls you often at odd hours of the night just to check in with you. You two have long deep discussions about random things like how English is just ridiculous, or learning about your culture and food, your hobbies, his hobbies, just about everything! In person he’s usually the one talking but on the phone you’re the one who’s doing most of the talking. When he talks he sounds winded, strained? Like there’s repetitive smacking sounds going on in the background. He says he’s just “multitasking “ but with what?

He knows you love your job-he gets it. But… he can’t stand the idea of another pair of eager balls or a thirsty pussy near you. He doesn’t wanna take your joy away but he doesn’t want to live in a constant state of anxiety! You're his! So he’s a straight forward man, so he’s gonna confess his feelings to you when he’s certain that he has a chance. You clearly pay more attention to him, your eyes light up when he comes in through those doors. You eagerly sit in his lap and listen to his usual complaints of the day.

“Aww I’m so sorry that happened. What a douche! He should have known better, you were right to stand up for yourself. You have a reputation to uphold. Is there anything I can do to make it better for you?” You cooed.

“Just having you around is enough to turn my day around.” He said, softening his tone.

“Aww~ Ghia! You’re too sweet. You’re the one I’m gonna miss the most.” You sighed. “Hey… I’m not really supposed to ask this because this could jeopardize my job but…do you wanna go out sometime?” You whispered. “I really really like you and I’ll regret not telling you how I feel before I have to go home… if you’re okay with long distance relationships that is- I understand if you don’t it’s not that easy and I promise I’ll visit as much as pos-“

He put a finger up to your lips to stop your nervous rambling “ of course Y/N. I was honestly going to ask you myself.”he confessed. “As far as long distance goes, we’ll make it work.” He lied, he had his plans in order to make sure you’ll never leave.

He agreed to a long distance relationship because that’s not what he had planned at all. He already got a hold of your passport and other legal documents when you were outside of your home at university. He made sure they were absolutely destroyed. He has Melone currently making him a perfect fake permanent residency card for you. Now you’re NOT going ANYWHERE.

On the days that you’re free he takes you to historic places close by and acts like a more in depth tour guide to you. He hopes this will make you want to stay even more and it’s working. He’ll show you all the best restaurants- not that touristy shit or the Michelin star nonsense. Just real authentic Italian cuisine!

He likes to drive the scenic routes and show you all the lesser known beaches, forests, parks, vineyards, etc. The lesser known the better, so he has the privacy he needs to mercilessly fuck you into the back of his car. He apologized for your first time with him being on top of the back of an uncomfortable car but he just couldn’t help himself. You looked so good with the nice outfit you were wearing!

He’s very athletic so likes to pick you up against the wall as he’s fucking you. He’s all about hard and fast. He’s gonna want to bite at your neck and leave tons of bite marks and hickies all over your body. He wants everyone to know that you’re taken and not available for anything outside your job. He doesn’t cum just once he goes at around 4-5 times with a very insane fast refractory period.

He’s not big on foreplay but he has a fixation outercourse. Watching his cock slip through your folds/ass drives him feral. But he’s not selfish, whatever you want he’ll give to you- within reason. He loves you but he’s very impatient!

He has an obsession with boobs. 👀 big boobs, small boobs, no boobs , pecs… all boobs are good boobs to this tit lover. He likes to use his cold hands and watch the nipples harden and hear you whine that he’s too cold 🥶 it never fails to get a chuckle out of him to hear you whine for him to stop making you so cold!

When it’s nearly time to go home he plays along and helps you pack up all of what you plan to bring back to your home country. Since you’re only packing sentimental items and necessities, there’s not too many bags. Thankfully they all fit in his trunk.

You crash at his house the night before you leave. Only one teeny tiny problem… you missed your goddamn flight!

“You missed your flight and you lost your passport? You know what this means right Y/N? You’re stuck here in the country .” Ghiaccio said very calmly for a tense situation like this.

“ I’m an illegal now! What will I do???” You cried with tears staining your cheeks.

“ I already took care of the problem myself.” He said calmly. He pulls out a fake permanent residency card. It was as realistic as the real thing. Only thing is your last name is the same as his.

You can’t just stay! You needed to go home! This is wrong! You wanted to argue, but there was just something ominous about his demeanor.

“I love you too much Y/N. I can’t let you leave.” He said eerily calm, taking a step closer to you. Was it the anxiety or did the temperature of the room just drop.

“But… you know I can’t stay. I have to go home.” You whimpered.

He took a firm grip on your shoulders and made intense eye contact.

“Oh Y/N… perhaps you're not really understanding the situation. Allow me to say this in a language you understand: You’re not leaving me or the country..”he spoke in your mother tongue and he did it perfectly.

You can tell he’s mad, and you don’t want him to get worse. He’s a part of Passione, you know this. You’re not dumb! Now’s the time to do what you do best, be obedient and do what he says. After all, Ghiaccio knows best.

Once you accept your fate that you’re stuck here with him: it’s till death do you part. But don’t worry he still treats you as if nothing happened. Just as long as you don’t mention anything about it ☠️ or you’ll end up in the chilly basement for a few days. But it hurts him just as much as hurts you! He loves holding onto you at night as he’s drifting asleep. He’d never lay a hand on you, he just wants to make sure you never ever leave him.

But as long as you leave the past in the past (aka- your home and family!) you have a bright future ahead of you with this loving man! 🥰

[lycemagee]

Fragility And Madness

Roger finding out about Florence's Curse.

Roger was in his room leaning back on his seat, sighing heavily when Alfons just entered his Laboratory without announcing himself. He frowned looking at Roger, and just threw the paper he should deliver on his desk. He didn't say anything and wanted to leave again, when Roger opened his mouth and spoke the next words.

"I finally figured it out... Florence's curse..."

"Good for your research, I assume. But I will excuse myself now...", he said disinterested and turned away.

"It's the Wonderland curse...", Roger continued unbothered and Alfons stopped looking at him with raised eyebrows.

"Oh? Wonderland? Miss Florence plays the role of little Alice?", Alfons asked mockingly, couldn't imagine Florence in the role of this Naive and Innocent Girl.

Roger leaned forward and shook his head.

"No. Not Alice. It seems to be inspired by Alice in Wonderland, but it's Wonderland itself. Reading here: "The One inflicted with the Glassy Wonderland curse, they often have little relation to reality and try to build and maintain their ideal world. Lost in their beliefs, wishes and desires, they are easily manipulated as long as it fits into their world, and manipulate others in their fits as well. The first one known, they were the leaders of a sect, isolated, preaching their way of life and making promises to those who felt inspired.", Roger explained, going through the old documents Infront of him.

"A cult leader? Hard to imagine Miss Florence as a cult leader. What would she preach? Alcoholism and Dances?", Alfons chuckled, standing next to Roger looking at the documents, now being more interested.

"That's the reason it was hard to figure out her curse. Not only do we not have that much structured information, but she doesn't seem like the usual candidate for it. Those with the Glassy Wonderland Curse often influence and manipulate the people around them and with the help of their Memory manipulation, but Florence does not use her ability in this way-"

"She mostly manipulates herself.", Alfons interrupted him and Roger just nodded as an answer.

"You know, I figured it out, when she was with me sorting out information. The cunning woman held the curse documents in her palm. I requested them from Your Highness's palace library and she wanted to put them away, probably planning to destroy it. But I heard her heart pounding faster than usual and I caught her.", Roger said amused.

"I can imagine the piercing gaze in her eyes when you caught her. Did she try to stab you?", he asked sarcastically.

"No, but she tried to use her Curse against me.", Roger chuckled thinking back of Florence pissed face, when he blocked her hand.

"She really has a hatred of pesky people.", Alfons said with a sigh and shrugged his shoulders.

"But talking about it more, she didn't want to know anything about it. In the end I was able to get the documents, but she had such disinterest, almost an aversion. When I asked her why she did not wanna know anything about her curse, she said it wasn't important, because the information wouldn't have any effect on her life or its outcome.",

"Still playing the ideal world? Presumably she still has the plan to seal the memories of her curse after leaving Crown and living a 'normal' life. Whatever this means...", he said pejoratively, shaking his head.

"Hm... who knows if it's a good idea, to just run away. Maybe trying to run away from her fate will bring her the misery of it. According to the documents, the fate of those with the Glassy Wonderland Curse is to become so lost in their Wonderland that they can never find their way back to reality, distorted in the delusion they have built for their own perfect world.", Roger added as he looked at the document and heard footsteps, his next guest arriving.

"Roger! Can you help us pleaaase?", Liam called and Roger stood up, a bit too rough, letting some documents drop.

"Can you pick them up Al? Thank you!", Roger said quickly, not even giving him the possibility to protest. Alfons looked really annoyed, but slowly picked up the documents on the floor. He could just leave, but maybe he was curious about the information. Gathering more information could never hurt right? He quickly went over the texts, reading nothing interestingly. It's like Roger said, a lot of informations are superficial or poorly described. Sightings, stories and theories dominated the documents. Losing interest he dropped them lazy on the desk, but in between them there was a paper that looked different from the others. It had black markings and scribbles on it, and it looked like it had been frantically written down. There were stains of water or some other liquid and there was some text on the bottom.

"The Fate of the Cursed One is to be lost in their Wonderland, not able to return Reality. But the truth is, before they reach it, they will despair, twisting their wonderland and their world for so long, searching for their perfect land, but realising that in reality they will never reach it. They will never find peace, so they break their minds and their Wonderland, so that they will never leave their Wonderland ever again. In the end, only the shards of their land remain."

[a-writer-on-elm-street]

Eleventh Doctor x reader where the Doctor discovers the reader’s art journal?

Fantastic

Pairing: Eleventh Doctor x GN!Reader

Summary: Ever since agreeing to come on the TARDIS with the Doctor, you've been documenting your adventures. And one day the Doctor finds your art journal and it's filled with images upon images of your adventures in time and space.

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! I hope you like it! <3

You were always passionate about art, drawing or painting anything that inspired you. Except the world had been lacking inspiration, at least you thought so anyway. So when this strange man fell out of the sky in his magical blue box, it was like a miracle had occurred, like the universe had decided to offer you a solution to your problem.

And you'd been travelling with the Doctor for quite some time now, almost a year in fact. And during your time on the TARDIS, you'd been drawing all the wonderful things he'd been showing you. Your journal was practically overflowing now, it was bursting at the seams.

You'd never told the Doctor about your journal however, simply because you never felt the need to. But you would soon be forced to offer him an explanation as he was currently holding it in his hands as he stared at you.

"Is this a journal?" He asked, his brows knitting together in confusion as he looked down at it. He hadn't opened it yet though, to which you were grateful.

Heat crept up your neck as you stood there watching him inspect the bulky leather book in his hands. "It's nothing."

"What's inside it?"

You shrugged, unsure of why you were feeling so embarrassed by this, it was only filled with drawings. "It's nothing, really. Just, can I have it back please?"

He didn't protest as he quickly handed you the journal, looking slightly disappointed now as he began to back away. And it was that very look that made you break.

"Fine." You huffed, gaining his attention now as he stepped towards you again. "Here."

You held the book out to him and he carefully took it from you, as if it would break from the slightest touch. Maybe it would, it was looking pretty battered.

He gave you one last look before opening the book, casting his gaze onto the worn pages now as he took in your work.

"These are amazing (y/n)." He said, his voice quiet as he kept his eyes glued to the pages. And then when he reached a certain page, his face seemed to light up as he looked at you, an excited grin spreading across his face as he turned to book towards you, pointing at the page. "That's me!"

You were unable to supress a smile as your eyes scanned over your drawing of the Timelord. You'd done that last week. He was doing god knows what underneath the console, wires everywhere as he sat on his little swing seat, goggles strapped around his head as he scowled. And you were bored, so you sat and watched him, lazily dragging your pencil across the page as you attempted to capture that very scowl. You thought you were pretty successful.

"Why have you never shown me these?" He asked, closing the book now and tucking it under his arm as he frowned at you.

"I don't know, I just never felt like they were any good."

"They're brilliant, (y/n). Fantastic."

"Really?"

He chuckled then, his head bobbing from the movement. "Yes! Although, I'd prefer it if you drew me with a smile next time."

You couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips then as you stared at him. "Okay, I'll try and draw you with a smile next time."

A/N: If this isn't what you were wanting, let me know and I'll be happy to rewrite it. But I hope you like this! Thank you for the request! <3

[Main Masterlist] [Eleventh Doctor Masterlist]

[cruorons]

Writing Process

Okay, so I thought I'd share some of my writing process here considering it is a writing blog after all. Maybe someone will find these useful or give some helpful input considering my process tends to be rather chaotic.

1. Ideas

I don't really sit down with the intention of coming up with an idea for a fic. Most of it comes to me naturally, as I go on about my day and daydream about certain dynamics or lore. However, I've noticed I tend to get inspired by:

• music - I like making playlists for fanfics I haven't even written yet, and then listen to the songs as I write. It helps me shape the plan for how the story is about to go, set the mood, in certain cases even inspire specific scenes.

• personal experiences - I noticed fics like that tend to perform well. People can tell when something is heartfelt. Do not underestimate your readers.

• ships - Already mentioned them, but about to highlight them again. Some people say that ship fics are less than but I couldn't disagree more. I've never been truly in love myself, yet find it such a fascinating thing. I could write about it endlessly from a bunch of different perspectives and never get bored of it.

Maybe it's my brain stopping me, but I never get inspired by fanart, as much as I love looking through the tags on here. Just a fun fact.

Basically, I start off with a single scene in my brain and then, I build off of it.

2. Beginning

When I realize I have something to elaborate on, that's when I boot up Google Docs and open a new document. I used to work in Word instead, but I switched to a different program for convenience. Google Docs crashes less and seems neater.

That's also when I like to think of a name for the fic. I search through synonyms for key words, phrases, famous and niché quotes. I like my titles short and concise, but also symbolic; such as with 'inferno', 'endophagy' and 'dowager'. They have to make sense within the context of the fanfic.

After I find something cool, that's when I make a document called "[fic name] PLAN".

- It's where I start writing down the idea in more detail.

- It's good to elaborate on each scene. A few sentences won't cut it; sometimes in the plan, I even put in actual paragraphs or even dialogue.

- English is not my native language, but I like to write the plan using it anyway. Ironically, it gives my brain more freedom; grammar in English is easier than the one in my native language.

- My plans usually have ~1-2k words.

- If I write a chaptered fic, I try to make a plan document for each chapter. Also, I tend to have the beginning of the story and the ending in my head, but add onto the middle as I go. So, even though I've had the idea for 'endophagy' in my head since 2021, as well as the ending (!), the chapters in between are improv.

3. The fanfic

I try to finish writing the plan in full before moving onto the actual thing, but there are exceptions.

I create a new document called the actual fic's name in another tab and start writing. I check the plan document every now and then, because oftentimes I forget about certain story beats or dialogue I wanted to include. When I finish a paragraph, I mark it in red in the plan, then switch the tab again. It's helpful to see your progress.

Now, a more controversial thing about me is that

I refuse to make multiple drafts

There are writers that make a bunch of drafts. If that works for you, amazing! Personally, it'd drive me insane. The longer I work on a fic, the more I begin to despise it. I don't write for pleasure, I write because I have things boiling in my head and it's the only way to release the tension. A such, I write the entire fic and then read through it once to catch mistakes. Then, I post and forget all about it.

If you've read through everything, congratulations! And thank you. I have found a welcoming community on ao3 and I like it there so, so much.

[unidentifiedseacreature]

They find you sleeping on the job

Ahhh, Ruin DLC... you rekindle my love once again.

This is actually old but I never got around to posting it. Inspired by:

I am on my phone and I am lazy so prepare for significantly worse formatting than previous posts ✌️

Freddy 🐻

- He spots you across the mall and smiles and waves.

- He's confused when you don't react at all.

- Squinting, he realises you're asleep.

- He stands there, like 70ft (20m) away from you, trying to decide if he should wake you.

- 'They're at work, they should be working... I don't want them to get in trouble if someone else catches them asleep.'

- He decides it's best to wake you up.

- He walks over and gently shakes your shoulder.

- "Y/N?" Your eyes slowly open.

- "Superstar, you're still at work."

- Once you're up, he asks you if you've been getting enough sleep.

- For the rest of his shift, he keeps his eye out for you.

- He'll probably ask you how your sleep was every shift for the next few weeks.

Monty 🐊

- He's strolling past when he does a double take.

- He smirks when he realises you're asleep, ideas to prank you filling his head.

- Then Monty's braincells kick in and he wonders if he should wake you up.

- 'They should be working, right? But it's not my fault if Y/N gets in trouble.'

- He sits down next to you and leans his head back, glancing at you every now and then.

- Only a few minutes pass before another staff member walks past and he panics.

- "Y/N GET UP."

- You scramble to your feet and pretend you're doing something.

- When your coworker passes, you thank him, saying you had a bad sleep last night.

- He unsympathetically gives you a comment along the lines of "Get better sleep."

- "Oh yeah, great idea Monty."

- "I DON'T KNOW HOW SLEEPING WORKS."

- He decides he won't be able to use this against you in the future because screaming at you to wake you up wasn't his finest moment.

Chica 🐔

- She came looking for you to tell you something but immediately forgot what it was when she saw you asleep.

- Her first instinct was to take plenty of photos to document the occasion.

- She then plopped herself down next to you to hang.

- When you woke up, you were met with two purple eyes staring at you.

- She profusely apologises and insists she wasn't staring at you the whole time.

- You call her creepy.

- She promises not to tell anyone but she'll probably bring up the photos when talking to the other glamrocks.

- It's not like she told your boss.

Roxy 🐺

- When she sees you sleeping she's unsure if she should wake you or not.

- She sits next to you for a while, trying to think of what to say.

- She ends up nudging you awake.

- "Hey, you're still at work" she says sternly but not unkindly.

- She just awkwardly avoids eye contact until you walk off to continue your duties, trying to stay nonchalant.

- She doesn't see you any differently, but she might say "you snooze you loose" next time she beats you at Roxy Raceway.

Bonnie 🐰

- Bonnie didn't particularly want the awkwardness of waking you up.

- So he sat down next to you instead.

- Crossing his arms, he scans the pizzaplex like a watchdog, ensuring no one catches you asleep.

- "Morning, sleepyhead" he greets you when you eventually do wake up.

- "How long was I out for?" You ask.

- "At least half an hour".

- You swear and run off.

- The next time you see him, he says "Hello sleeping beauty" you glare at him but everyone else just seems confused.

- He slips you an energy drink every now and then, you have no idea how he's been getting into the vending machines.

Foxy 🦊

- I'm sorry to all Foxy lovers but he does not care.

- He'd see you sleeping in the strangest situations and would just walk past.

- You were asleep standing up, leaning on your mop and the wet floor bot cared more than he did.

- Though ever since, he has thrown a protein bar at you a few times. One of those times, he threw it full force and knocked you out, so he's not very good at what he was trying to do.

- His arm also came off when he did that if it's any consolation.

Sun ☀️

- Jingle jingle *he spots you* JINGLEJINGLEJINGLEJINGLEJINGLE.

- Unlike the others, he actually knows how to wake people up.

- "Wake up, friend! It's not nap time just yet."

- It's surprisingly pleasant to wake up to him jingling around the room, singing an original Fazbear Entertainment nursery rhyme about waking up.

- "Thanks, Sun."

- "No need to thank me, I wouldn't want you to miss out on play time!"

- 'Playtime, my ass' you think to yourself, getting back to work.

- For the rest of the night he hums the nursery rhyme tune to himself.

Moon 🌑

- To be fair to you, tidying up the lavender scented pillows and blankets from the daycare is hard to do without getting sleepy.

- Moon is used to being around sleeping kids, so he doesn't think it's weird when he spots you.

- That doesn't mean they know how to properly act around sleeping people.

- He just sits there and stares at you.

- Feeling someone's eyes on you, you wake up and practically jump out of your skin.

- "Holy shit, Moondrop."

- "Don't say that, Y/N."

DJ Music Man 🎵

- You seemed to have fallen asleep in the arcade.

- DJ Music Man retrieves a blanket and lays it over you, patting your head goodnight.

- In his hands, the blanket looks like the size of a tissue

- He turns off his music and the main lights in the room, then continues cleaning up or settles down to take a nap beside you.

- When you awake, you're surprised to see your manager was too busy reprimanding Music Man to be mad at you.

- It turns out Music Man is a repeat offender, and you aren't the first person this has happened to.

- He hangs his head in shame. But he will do it again.

[snoodls]

2023 art retrospective! ✨

I can't believe I'm writing one of these again already; where did this year go??

Looking back on this past year, wow! I can see and feel my confidence with my art growing tremendously. Finally it feels like I'm comfortable with tools and the process. I'm not totally lost when I open a canvas; there's a sense of reassurance that I can do it, and if I can't, I will figure it out along the way. 

Overall, finding time, space, and energy for art proves to be both exceedingly difficult and yet the only thing that I want to do when I get home. I know logically this is mostly because of my job--new office, new boss, new responsibilities, new position--and a few huge life transitions, but when you're someone who makes things who is not making things, it can be rough seas in the brain soup.

I think a major theme for this year was getting back into creative habits. It's an annual tradition at this point to nosedive into an artist's block death spiral. February into March into April...were all lean months for my creativity. Intense job/interpersonal stuff plus news of two of my big art inspirations both suddenly dying...the world hit me hard in these months.

I owe a lot to Lynda Barry's Making Comics for giving me my spark back and for helping to heal a part of me that I didn't realize was so broken and bruised. I remember when I picked the book up around my birthday; the cashier said the book made her cry and I didn't understand. I asked why, and she said "It's just healing." I was skeptical, but now I get it. I've been observing more, giving more credence to my creativity, and being less afraid of making a "bad" drawing.

Now I've been focusing on creating portfolio pieces that I'm proud of and happy to display in my space, as well as finally getting around to my hoard of accumulated characters. I've been picking away at my personal site and uploading much more to toyhouse to keep track of them all.

The last month or so has been completely consumed by making gifts, meeting deadlines, finishing owed art, continuing special projects 👀...so I haven't had much of a presence here. I've been doing lots of traditional art--getting back into acrylic painting and hopefully back into oils soon. I started pine needle basket weaving and have made 2.25 baskets so far! it's a long, tedious, menial process, but it's so satisfying to have something physical (and functional) that you've worked on for hours. I've also been living in my sketchbook the past week--practicing with pens, markers, and practicing itself. I've been conditioned to have the sketchbook be a precious space, and I am trying my best to break out of that. If you want to see some of my traditional sketches and offline stuff, I made a little collage for this year's picks too. ↬ sketchbook 2023

I think for next year I'd like to continue finding better balances--in how I spend my time, how I can spend my time...and to continue pushing myself out of my comfort zone with experiments and messiness. I want to continue being creative in so many more mediums--more film photography and video, hopefully!

In my sketchbook I wrote this meandering paragraph that I want to share: this is a living document--of breath, of movement, not of polished stasis. I reject capitalistic notions of being "industrious" "beautiful" "marketable" "pristine" and on public display at all times. I am not a product to be consumed; neither is my work. I embrace the messy, the incomplete, and the ugly. I refuse to tailor myself to an unseen audience. We thirst for the drafts, the brushstrokes, the incomplete works of the famous. Is this because, in our minds, this makes them more human? Less untouchably great? Or do we see ourselves in the struggles and not in the finished pieces? How charitable is that reading? What I would give to see my inspirations' marker streaks, their 12yo sparkledogs. Framing these byproducts--there's that word again--as art reframes them, reframes myself. To be human is to mark-make, to scribble in the dirt. I hear they reconstruct civilizations from stuff like that.

All my best to you & yours, and happy new year!

art featured: garden ghost | Vagabonds - Aqua Fria River | 6040 elk? | i'll still be around | blue sky | umm hihihi omg hi ...? | porcelain | nothing to remember | Lacquer | river bed-time

[bluebunnysart]

Domestic Stray (Hoshitele Cat AU)

TITLE: Domestic Stray 

Ship: Cat!Haruno x Cat!Matataki

Word count: 3188 words

A/N: Finally putting words down in a document to try to bring the Hoshitele cat AU to life! Just to quickly set expectations, what I’ve written will focus mainly on Haruno and Matataki, as cats! However, do note that these cats are INSPIRED by Haruno and Matataki and thus will not be completely the same. I’ll try to make them as in-character as I can while trying to connect stuff with the source material, but this is a cat alternate universe, so keep that in mind before you engage with this (100% self-indulgent, made for fun) work. 

Just in case, TW for blood in this first scene lol but we’re mainly a cute slice-of-life/lowkey love story (on the slow side), and I would never have them harm each other, so rest assured. xD 

While writing this, I debated whether I should have honorifics (like -chan) or not, and I think I won’t. Since this is an AU, this is one of those things I won’t have because Haruno’s the only one who’s gonna be using them anyway. xD 

If you’re ok with all that… Hope you enjoy! 

I knew I shouldn’t’ve trusted them. 

That was the thought a certain light brick red-colored cat had as she forced herself to put one paw in front of the other, despite her entire body screaming at her to stop. With each painful step, a decent amount of blood would pool on the ground beneath her, forcing her to keep going unless she wanted to leave behind an even more obvious trail to where she was. 

If I actually die from this, I’ll be so pissed off, she thought bitterly, biting back a hiss as she accidentally stepped on a small, pointed rock. Normally she wouldn’t make such an amateur-ish mistake, but it was kind of hard to see with her vision going in and out, and the blood pouring into one eye from the gash on her forehead didn’t help. 

Quickly. She had to find somewhere to hide quickly just in case those other cats (who she’d given a good beating to, thank you very much) decided to come back for more. With how much blood she’d lost, she knew she didn’t have much time left before she straight-up passed out, but if she could find a place to rest for just a little while, then there was still hope for her yet. 

House cats didn’t like it when anyone intruded on their turf, but house cats were also soft and typically unused to combat; she was pretty sure she could take one. And if she chose the right spot, then she wouldn’t have to encounter a dog, a human, or a cat! 

The scent of blood might be strong, but the smell of everything else in the neighborhood would be even stronger. 

Taking a deep breath, the light reddish-brown cat forced herself to keep going, letting her nose guide her. She couldn’t be too picky, lest she risk collapsing while still out in the open, so she chose quickly.

Small gap under the fence she could squeeze through? Check. 

No strong scent of humans or cats in this area? Check. 

Long row of bushes that would effectively hide her and help mask her scent? Check.

By now, her wounds had stopped bleeding as much, so there wouldn’t be the equivalent of a giant bloody arrow pointing to where she was. This was perfect. 

The light brick red-colored cat collapsed on the spot, shutting her eyes tight with a grimace as another wave of pain went through her from the impact. 

That’s it, she thought firmly as she felt her consciousness rapidly slip away. If I survive this, I’m not trusting anyone ever again. 

–

Birds were chirping. And although her eyes were closed, she could tell that the light of the sun was shining on her face. Which means…

I’m alive? Matataki thought, as her eyes snapped open. It took a second for her vision to adjust, but instead of seeing the green of grass or the dark green of the bushes she’d taken shelter behind, what she saw was… A wall? 

Huh? 

Her heart sped up as the almost-too-familiar feeling of dread started to creep in. Without moving her body, she scanned everything she could see in front of her first: a wall, and above it, a windowsill, and on top of that…. A cat! 

Matataki felt her hackles rise, but she didn’t make any sudden movements just yet. The other cat was currently facing away from her, looking out the window, and it looked like they hadn’t noticed her yet. If Matataki was careful, maybe she’d be able to get away while the other cat was still distracted. After all, if there was a cat here, then maybe there was a cat door?

Very, very slowly, the reddish-brown cat tried standing up, but it was no use. Her legs immediately gave way, but instead of landing on the hard floor, she landed on a soft cat bed, which she just now realized she had been on top of. The sound had been muffled, but the other cat had been so close. There was no way they wouldn’t have noticed, Matataki thought.

Sure enough, the other cat, who was a lovely vanilla yellow color, turned around. Her eyes, which were a more saturated yellow, at first looked surprised, before they shifted into something else. 

“You’re awake!” she exclaimed, and her voice sounded kind of… relieved? 

“Who are you?” Matataki asked, eyes narrowed. And what do you want from me? she thought, but she decided to ask one question at a time. 

“Don’t you remember me?” the yellow cat asked, and Matataki took a moment to study her in more detail. 

Horizontal black stripe on the top of her head that followed the shape of her head but ended at her ears. Perpendicular to that stripe was a vertical stripe that went down the back of the cat’s back and flowed into a black tail, which Matataki had seen before she’d turned around. And finally… The thing that set a wild cat like herself apart from a house cat: the black strip of fabric tied around the cat’s neck, which ended at a neat bow behind the cat’s neck.  

“Nope. Not ringing any bells,” Matataki said bluntly, with a deep frown. If this cat was trying to pretend they knew each other in order to get on her good side– 

“I’m Haruno,” the blonde cat said warmly, seemingly unbothered by Matataki’s cold reply. “I guess it has been a really long time since we last spoke to each other,” she added in a lower tone, as if speaking to herself. To Matataki, she continued: “I say hi to you sometimes when you pass by. We’ve never had a proper conversation or anything before, but, well. It’s nice to meet you! I’ve always wanted to get along.” 

Unfortunately for Haruno, the brick-colored cat had stopped listening to her after ‘I say hi to you sometimes when you pass by.’ Instead, those words had caused Matataki to dive deep into her memory to try to figure out if she remembered anything like that. In general, Matataki didn’t speak to house cats, so it was 100% likely she had never spared the golden-colored cat a reply. But when it came to friendly house cats and the cats that lived in this neighborhood… Maybe something like that happened? 

“Matataki?” 

Matataki snapped out of her thoughts and almost glared at Haruno. “How do you know my name?” she asked, not bothering to hide her wariness. 

Haruno blinked, obviously surprised once again. “You don’t know?” she asked. This time Matataki did glare at her, so she hastily explained: “I thought you would already know this, but you’re kind of famous around here. Like, from all of the things you know and can do. I heard you’re really good at using tools! And apparently there’s no place that can keep you out if you’ve decided you want in.” 

Haruno wasn’t even bothering to hide the admiration in her tone as she praised her, and Matataki couldn’t help but feel awkward from suddenly being showered with compliments. Being famous or whatever isn’t a good thing, she thought darkly as she remembered what had happened to her. They only keep you around to use you and then try to get rid of you so they don’t have to honor their end of the deal. 

“Whatever they say about me, I don’t care,” Matataki said, her tone harsh. “What do you…” She paused as she glanced down at herself, finally noticing and registering the bandages on her body. “...did you do this?” 

“Nope! Not me! My human did,” came the reply, which sounded happy and proud. “I’m glad I found you as quickly as I did, because it looked really bad–”

“Wait,” Matataki cut in. “What happened? What human?” she asked, her blood having run cold. Was that human still around now?

“My owner. My caretaker,” Haruno answered. “Who’s usually out of the house, by the way, so you don’t have to worry about meeting them if you don’t want to.” The vanilla-colored cat had read the panic and look of displeasure on Matataki’s face and directly addressed it. “As for your question about what happened, well… You were kinda out for three whole days. I was wondering when you’d wake up, but your breathing was normal, at least, so I knew you would eventually. Anyway, I’m really glad you’re alright! You really gave me a heart attack out there…”

Once again, Matataki was drowning the rest of her words out in favor of focusing on what the other cat had just revealed. Three whole days, and she’d been patched up by a human? It was good she wouldn’t have to interact with it, but… Ugh… If she had to live with a human, then maybe it would’ve been better if she hadn’t been saved.

Pushing that thought out of her head, the light red-brown-colored cat tried to stand up again. She managed to succeed for a couple of seconds, but her legs were shaking too much, so she eventually opted to sit. 

Okay. She was way too weak to leave, and even if she did leave, she might not last for long, especially if those cats were still out to get her. 

“Okay, house cat.” 

“It’s Haruno.” 

“Yeah, that.” Whatever, she almost added, but she decided being snarky to someone she was at the mercy of probably wasn’t the best idea. “I assume there’s probably a reason why you brought me in here, so just tell me your terms. You house cats– er… House cats like you are usually more pacifistic, and I can at least pay you back for helping me.” Even though I didn’t ask you to. “So just tell me what you want, and we can settle this peacefully, without any issues.” As long as it doesn’t involve any humans. 

Matataki was met with a blank stare before Haruno’s eyes widened in surprise yet again. Looks like Haruno was as unused to dealing with her as Matataki was with house cats in general, who she tended to ignore altogether.

“Terms?” the blonde cat asked. She immediately shook her head. “Nonono, you don’t need to pay me back or anything! I didn’t try to save you with an ulterior motive or anything.” 

During their whole conversation, Haruno had been sitting on the windowsill and Matataki had been either sitting or lying on the cat bed. Now, Haruno chose to jump down from the windowsill so that they were more or less on the same ground. With them sitting in front of each other, it was clear Haruno was more than a little bit bigger than the injured cat, which made Matataki frown.

“I didn’t help you because I wanted something from you,” Haruno repeated, flicking her black tail. “When I see someone in trouble, I just want to help them. I couldn’t just leave you like that,” she said, her eyes softening. 

The yellow cat’s eyes were a bit too earnest, so Matataki found herself immediately looking away from them. It didn’t matter what others said. The only thing that mattered was how they actually acted in the end. 

“Anyway–” the stray cat said, trying to continue to negotiate her exit, but she was interrupted by the sound of her stomach loudly growling. Before she could react, Haruno was already on her paws again, her golden eyes sparkling. 

“How inconsiderate of me!” the house cat exclaimed, yet she looked excited for some reason. “I have no idea when your last meal was, but you haven’t eaten for at least three days! You must be famished!” 

Matataki opened her mouth to deny it, but after a second, she seemed to reconsider and closed it. There was no point trying to avoid looking weak in front of this cat. She had been too weak to stand properly, for goodness’ sake. 

Haruno seemed pleased with this silent agreement, if the smile on her face was anything to go by. “I’ll be right back!” she announced, darting off. As Matataki watched her black tail disappear out of view behind a wall, she couldn’t help but silently agree that Haruno seemed to really like taking care of others. 

I’m not trusting anyone ever again. The very last thought that she’d had before passing out came back to her again, and she internally patted herself on the back for remembering what she’d decided on. No matter how nice someone acted, they showed their true colors eventually– especially when it was no longer useful to act nice. 

Everyone is selfish, after all. In the end, the only one you can trust is yourself. 

It took barely thirty seconds before Haruno was back. In her mouth was a bowl, which she proudly placed in front of Matataki and pushed towards her. 

“Since you’re a patient here, we provide only the highest quality care,” Haruno said cheerfully in almost a faux-professional voice. “This is my favorite! Wet food! I know wild cats hunt and all, but I bet you’ve never tasted chicken before! Go on! Try it!”

Matataki looked at the contents of the bowl suspiciously. Brown mashed “stuff” mushed together with pale light chunks mixed in and strange yellow-ish liquid coating everything and oozing out the bottom. She didn’t know how cats would be able to get their paws on poison, but she couldn’t rule the idea out. 

“You eat it,” she demanded. Even if she was hungry, maybe she could still find something else. 

“But it’s for you,” Haruno said, looking disappointed that her offer had been rejected. She seemed to look up in thought before finally nodding. “Oh, I get it! You probably haven’t eaten anything like this before, so you want me to taste-test it for you to show you it’s safe. Sure! It’s really yummy, so I’ll take a couple of bites. But I really want you to try it too! Is that okay?”

“No promises.” 

Haruno seemed to think this answer was good enough, so as promised, she took a couple of bites of the wet food. Matataki watched as she licked the rest of it off her muzzle and then sat back with a satisfied expression, looking at the slightly smaller cat expectantly. 

Well. No cat would be crazy enough to consume poison in front of her, so after maintaining Haruno’s stare for a moment, Matataki finally gave in and decided to try it. 

It… was better than anything she’d ever tasted. Cooked food was much better than raw food, and the stray cat didn’t often get the chance to eat it for obvious reasons. Either she was really hungry or she couldn’t get enough because the food was gone before she knew it… 

When she looked up, Haruno was giving her a really kind smile, which really made her fur stand on end. It felt like she’d lost somehow… Matataki was a stray cat! A wild cat at heart! And she would not be won over by house cat luxuries, even if they tasted better than her usual. 

“You– you don’t have to watch me while I eat! I’m not gonna waste it!” the light red brick-colored cat snapped, mostly to hide her growing embarrassment. 

“Hehe, sorry,” Haruno said with a giggle, but she looked more amused rather than apologetic. Matataki didn’t know how to react to someone reacting to her like that. As if to throw the injured cat a lifeline, however, Haruno changed the subject. “It’s not good to eat too much, so that’ll be it for now. The automatic cat feeder gives you the exact amount you need at the exact time you should have it. Convenient, right?” 

She paused, as if she remembered something. “Water!” she exclaimed, her tail standing straight up. “I’ll get you some water! And I’ll make sure not to spill it!” 

As if this was going to turn into a thing now, Haruno dashed off. This time, she took a little longer to return, but as promised, she carefully offered the other cat a bowl of water. Matataki hadn’t even gotten a word in before the yellow cat had decided to act on her own, and once more, she eyed the bowl before doing anything else. She considered refusing since she’d already been offered a handout earlier, but one glance at the taller cat reminded her that she should probably stay in her good graces, so she gave the water a cursory lick or two before moving back again. 

“Okay!” With that word, Haruno curled her tail into a hook shape and circled Matataki as if she was examining a shiny new toy. In reality, she was just making sure the bandaged cat was in good condition and not in need of anything else. The smaller cat narrowed her eyes and regarded her uneasily as she did this, and Haruno took the hint and stopped. 

“Can I get you anything?” the house cat asked, and Matataki shook her head. 

The only thing Matataki wanted was to get out of here, but in her current condition, that was a horrible idea, so she was slowly accepting that she would be stuck here for a little while. But she probably couldn’t have been stuck with someone even friendlier or more helpful than Haruno, so at least it wasn’t worse. 

“What are you expecting from me?” she finally asked, unable to articulate sentences like Is it fine if I stay and I can’t leave right now so I’m stuck here. The latter statement would reveal too much information (and vulnerability) to a cat who had the advantage over her, even if it was only a house cat. 

“Nothing,” Haruno answered easily, with a smile. “I just want you to recover and get better! So you need lots of rest, you shouldn’t overwork yourself, and if you ever need anything, you can just ask me!” She curled her tail over her paws, her eyes sparkling beautifully like yellow topaz gemstones. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you want. You’re my guest.” 

Matataki almost let out a sigh of relief, but it just came out as a slow exhale. In her entire life, she’d never been treated with as much grace and hospitality as this. It made the skin under her fur crawl because she knew it would all fall apart eventually– it inevitably did, when it came to her relationships (or lack thereof) with other cats. 

“...thank you,” she finally said. Even though she was incredibly out of her element and expecting the worst, it still felt like an important weight had been taken off her shoulders. She would do her best to avoid the human, but since she wasn’t being left outside to fend for herself in her weakened state, it was still much better than nothing. She just hoped Haruno wouldn’t force her to get along with her human, even if that human had possibly saved her life. 

She didn’t say anything else though. She just looked at the other cat, and Haruno was wearing the brightest smile she’d had all day. 

“You’re welcome! Let’s get along from now on!” 

END 

A/N: Ok that was much longer than I expected and I kinda started writing at like 10:36 PM and now it’s 2:46 AM. So that took me like… about 4 hours to write! But it was really fun to me! :D I really wanted to write something for them and now I’m glad and happy I finally did it! c: 

Yes, if you’re wondering, I did look up cat facts whenever I needed them. I also looked up stuff about blood loss. I’m thinking Matataki stays with Haruno for like a month, at the very least? And any other stories will be about them doing various activities or bonding. 

I didn’t think I’d make the intro as long as it is (actually, I was planning to make it like maybe a 3-sentence scene or preview and go straight into the waking up scene, but it has important details I might like to reference later so you know what? Yeah, I’ll keep it like that.) 

I’m a Warrior cats kid so I’m totally used to all the cat descriptions and stuff (paws, tail, muzzle, lol) but it might be weird for a non-cat person, I think. xD Anyway, I’ll upload this to AO3 on request but since this is just a niche thing for now, I’ll keep it on this blog only. This won’t be the last time I write about them, I think, ‘cuz I like this AU a lot, but hopefully I did a good job capturing their characters! I don’t want Matataki to be too mean or Haruno to be too hyperactive/helpful or anything, but this is their first meeting and they’re drastically different, so their differences get exaggerated a bit. If anyone ever feels like giving me feedback, I’m totally open to it! Anyhow, I love cats. How did you know? xD

[window-view-orion]

Identifying the Legendary Spirits

From the Kayla X "Legendary Spirits" blind box figure collection:

This figure's name is "Blizzard".

She's the rare of the set, so I don't own her. But she's an obvious one! Clearly she's a Yuki onna, a Japanese yokai.

OR IS SHE

Unbeknownst to me, the idiot trying to figure out who all these figures are on my own, and naively believing the product description that claimed these spirits come from "all over the world" - there is actual documentation on who each and every one of them is, and surprise! they're all Chinese.

A few days ago while doing more research into this set, I found a 'Kikagoods Collections' youtube channel, and a video where a pair of hands and an AI voice open the full set of these Legendary Spirits, and there, in the pinned comment - a link to three blog posts on Kikagoods.com

Did you know Kikagoods has a blog section? Because I didn't! Do you know how many of these eight figures I identified correctly? Four! Well, three. Well, two and two halves.

First, the unambiguously correct.

'Forgotten', with her conspicuous bowl of soup, lantern walking stick, and spider lilies in her hair, is indeed the Chinese goddess Meng Po, who stands at Naihe bridge in the afterlife, giving her soup to the dead to drink so they forget their past life and can be reincarnated.

'Bleeding', with her red bridal gown and veil, dowry box, and rakshasa bird companions, is in fact the rakshasa who disguised herself as a bride and blinded a bride and groom on their wedding night, before escaping into the night.

Secondly, the half correct.

'Painted' is not the yokai ungaikyo, because yokai are in fact, not Chinese. But I did mention in that post the Chinese folktale of the Painted Skin, the demon who wore the painted skin suit of a beautiful woman in order to get close to a man and enter his home, ultimately being defeated by a Taoist priest. This is the true identity of Painted, who is using a bronze mirror to put the finishing touches on her lovely painted skin, and the wound on the back of her head is the seam of her suit. So I knew the inspiration, but didn't identify her correctly.

'Fatality' is indeed a nine-tailed fox spirit, but her inspiration was a little more specific. I did find the story that inspired her, but I didn't mention it in the post, so I'll only count myself as being half right about her. She is specifically the nine-tailed fox who possessed the concubine Su Daji of King Zhou of Shang, the last king of the Shang Dynasty. The fox spirit who possessed Daji was instrumental in the story of Zhou's tyrannical reign and eventual deposing, this story being notably adapted into the 16th century Ming Dynasty novel Fengshen Yanyi.

Thirdly, the incorrect.

'Mirage', the pearl-holding, weeping mermaid figure, is not a generic representation of mermaid's tears. She is in fact a Chinese mermaid, or jiaoren, who fell in love with a Buddhist monk, Bai Gongzi, though they ultimately could not be together because of the fundamental differences between them. The jiaoren's tears become pearls. This story is from a collection of folktales, Soushen Ji. Without the clue that all of these spirits are Chinese, there was no real chance for me to find this specifically, as I can't even find a full version of it online, just summaries.

'Withered' is playing a pipa like I thought, but she was the only one I fully gave up on finding. Turns out she is based on Yang Yuhuan, or Yang Guifei, or Consort Yang, the favorite concubine of Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty, and one of the 'four beauties of ancient China'. Despite being loved by the Emperor, during an insurrection which forced him to flee from his palace, Yang was used as a scapegoat for the rebellion, and was forced to commit suicide at age 37. Her story was a partial inspiration for the Tale of Genji! I'm so glad to finally know who she is.

'Revenge' cannot be an onryo as I stated because, again, onryo are Japanese. She is in fact the White Bone Demon from Journey to the West! Like so many demons in that story she wants to make Tripitaka into a snack, so she disguises herself as a young girl, then an old woman, then an old man to try to get close, but gets killed by Sun Wukong each time, though this results in his temporary banishment from the group because the disguises were very good and it looked like the Monkey King kept killing random people just coming up for a chat. I've been meaning to get around to reading my copy of Journey to the West for ages, though I'm at least somewhat familiar with the highlights from some of Overly Sarcastic Productions videos on it, as well as some reading in college. I'm very pleased to know her identity, it makes me like her even more!

'Requite' is in fact a cat spirit, good job to me for figuring that out. She's not a thief of any kind, which I was hung up on, and she's not just a generic cat demon either. She is specifically a reference to one moment from the amazing history of the rise of Emperor Wu Zetian, the only female emperor of China. When Wu Zetian got the former Empress as well as the Emperor's previous favorite concubine demoted, then executed, the once-favored Consort Xiao Shufei cursed her before her death, declaring that she would be reborn as a cat, and Wu Zetian as a mouse, and Xiao would scratch her to death. If you're not familiar with her, Xiran Jay Zhao has two incredible videos on Wu Zetian's life and rise to the position of Emperor which I highly recommend.

And that's everyone...isn't it?

Lastly, the one they forgot.

'Blizzard' is not covered by those three blog posts. But with some new confidence from all this new information and some more googling, I believe I have her. Not a yuki onna, not Japanese, but instead I believe this figure to be the Chinese goddess of snow, Tengliu. She's a pretty obscure goddess, with some places calling her the wife of the wind god Fengbo, and that the snowflake is a symbol of hers. That would explain the jade snowflake on Blizzard's belt!

Aaaand that's it! All eight (nine) of the Legendary Spirits figures identified. I wanted to do all this for me, but if you're a fan of these figures and wanted to know who they are, I hope this was helpful for you too.

Sources below the cut:

[beware-of-the-princess]

Having Ana as a plus-sized princess was always an important part of this project, but it certainly came with its complications. The first of which was that every artist collaborating on this project brought with them a different approach and level of experience with drawing big characters! Parts of this image look weird because it got warped, edited and partially redrawn quite a bit as Ana's look was fine-tuned and the artists tried new ways of drawing her- in particular drawing her bigness.

There were a great many tightropes we were trying to find balance on with Ana's size. Open any fantasy book and you're likely to find a beautiful but stuck-up princess... but very few of them are big. How many people would see Ana and assume we made her fat as a shorthand for being "ugly on the inside too"? Especially if we include details which usually aren't associated with beauty, like stretch marks or sag? This wouldn't be much a problem if Ana was the kind of fantasy character that is expected to have a rounded design, like a kindly, motherly lady-in-waiting, but Ana is the complete opposite!

We also didn't want to give Ana only the features that big women are "allowed" to have, like a curvy rear end or a full bust. We felt it was important to put emphasis on features that young women her age and size are pressured to feel the most insecure about. Ana's chubby arms or double chin don't impede her strutting into a room as she firmly believes a princess ought to: With absolute confidence that jaws will hit the floor in amazement.

But that last point just brings up yet another balancing act. While she might generally be an unstoppable juggernaut of confidence- to the extent where vanity is very much one of her flaws, we also didn't just want to have Ana be drawn big but otherwise completely ignore it. Anyone who grew up in the 90's remembers the slew of disabled characters who, despite being in wheelchairs or whatever, didn't have their disability affect their character in any way or face any challenges stemming from it. In the same way, we felt like it would be hollow to talk about representation and body positivity while failing to acknowledge any of the challenges that fat people (particularly women) face. There's a lot more to say about Ana and the other side of representation, but this post is already too long without going into neurodivergence.

With so many pitfalls to avoid, we included the following at the start of Ana's section of the big character document that we use to keep things consistent between collaborators:

Designing Ana has certainly been quite a process, and I think something that demonstrates that well is just how different she looks in this more recent picture which we've been using to play dress-up with her.

I also wanted to give a small acknowledgement of all the wonderful artists out there that who have shared their processes for drawing big characters or even just whose art has served as inspiration. There's too many to mention, but the names @mayakern @jijidraws and @sergle have come up over and over again while working on this.

P.S. If you want to use this to play dress-up with Ana yourself, then please feel free! I only ask that you somehow let me know what awesome outfits you've come up with for her.

[androidcharles]

And we're back! I'm gonna try to update every Wednesday (or every other Wednesday depending) but in the meantime, under the readmore is Chapter 2! Enjoy!

Chapter Directory First (also Previous) | Next ->

A week had passed since Charles had been kidnapped by the N.E.R.Ds. The case they were working had everything to do with them, considering that they were now out in the open. Despite the fact that they were expected to work together (as that’s what they did super well), Henry and Ellie were the only ones really doing anything about the case, searching the city for any clues as to where the new hideout for the N.E.R.Ds was.

Charles, meanwhile, had taken it upon himself to keep an eye on the Toppat girl who was behind the strings of robberies. So far, it had been quiet on her front, but Charles was keeping an eye on the locations that had been hit thanks to Henry and Ellie’s book keeping.

“It seems like those nerds have found a new hiding spot,” Ellie said, pouring over a map of Stickburg while Henry played with some string, “We’re having a hell of a time locating them though. What about you Charles?”

“I don’t know, maybe she knows we’re onto her…” Charles said. He didn’t know if Ellie or Henry knew the Toppat was an android as well. Maybe they already knew but that was very unlikely. Still, it was almost upsetting that she was hiding out again. But it’s as Wendell said; Toppats were always a bit slippery.

“Well, it’s alright. She’s been slipping away from the authorities too. We’ve been running ourselves ragged trying to find these guys though. We’ve managed to arrest one or two, but the general said ‘Deja vu’ whenever we capture them because they didn’t have much to go on,” Ellie said.

“Kinda like the Toppats…” Charles muttered.

YEAH, YOU GUYS WERE HAVING A TIME PINNING THEM DOWN BEFORE YOU GOT MY HELP, Henry signed very smugly as Charles puffed his cheeks out at him.

“You act like you did ALL the work. I helped you, you know. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have been able to get those documents!” Charles said. Henry shrugged as he went back to work on the string.

“Maybe there’s a connection… do you think the N.E.R.Ds are working with whatever remaining Toppats are out there? Some had to get away!”

“Not too many. Other than our mystery girl, most of the Toppats that got away were low ranking goons among the bunch. Not enough to really inspire or kick start a new frontier, according to the general,” Charles said, “Heck, I’m going against protocol looking after this girl for you guys.”

“What?! Charles if you’re gonna get in trouble, than me or Henry-”

“No, no, it’s fine! I could use the practice on the field. I might have to start somewhere considering you know… I’m not very good at fighting and all...” Charles said.

“Well that’s true. We just don’t want you to get in trouble,” Ellie said.

“Pfft, please. I’ve been in trouble before for doing things I wasn’t supposed to. Most of the time I got a slap on the wrist. Other times well… mopping the complex is very hard when Rupert keeps nagging you about how I convince him to do dumb things,” Charles said. Henry let out a small ‘hmph’ as Ellie gave Charles a sort concerned look.

“I just don’t want you to push it. One day you’re gonna get in a situation where not even General Galeforce can really back you up. Your safety net can fray at any time you know…”

“I’ll be fine!” Charles said, “Besides, you guys wouldn’t have asked me to keep an eye on her if it wasn’t important. I just have to not use government equipment when doing it.”

“Aren’t you technically government equipment?”

“I’m my own person Ellie, geez… they can’t pull that whole ‘you’re a piece of equipment’ bullshit on me. If I quit, they can’t exactly take out my weapons or erase my memories of the time I spent there… well they can erase all the top secret information that I have on me right now, including the launch codes…”

“THE WHAT!?” Henry and Ellie shouted. Charles pursed his lips as he pressed his fingers together.

“You didn’t hear that.”

“Fine,” Ellie said, “What are you gonna do?”

“Well, for the past few weeks, our Toppat has been going in a pattern around town. She might hit either this store or this store next,” Charles said, “At least, that’s what Henry said.”

“Well, Henry used to be a thief, but if it were me, I would throw them off, and hit a more secluded location away from the pattern,” Ellie said.

MAYBE SHE’S DOING IT TO GET ATTENTION. TRY TO KEEP THE TOPPAT CLAN A THREAT WITHOUT IT REALLY BEING ONE, Henry said.

“I have to agree with Henry here. I mean, if I wanted to plan a comeback if I was part of a criminal syndicate, I would probably try to get as much attention as possible…” Charles said. The three were silent as Henry suddenly came to a realization.

CHARLES… WHERE ARE REG… THE TOPPAT LEADER AND HIS RIGHT HAND MAN LOCKED UP?

“Very secure prison. Not even the Wall can compare. They’d have to get assistance from some top tier prison breakers in order get out. Even than, security is air tight…” Charles said.

“Henry you’re being paranoid… but than again, she’s kind of like you. She always seems to have the right thing at the right time. You don’t think…”

IN ALL HONESTY, IT WOULDN’T BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR OTHER PEOPLE LIKE ME TO EXIST. BUT I HIGHLY DOUBT SHE’S ANYTHING LIKE ME. IT COULD BE POSSIBLE THAT SHE’S JUST CRAZY PREPARED…

“So you think that this girl is eventually going to try to find out where these guys are being held and break them out? I don’t know… why wouldn’t she have done that a long time ago? Why wait?” Charles asked.

“Maybe to keep the government off her heels?” Ellie said.

“But than why the robberies? She’s not exactly hiding her face. Even from far away, you can kinda tell what she looks like,” Charles said, “Ugh, either my processors are out of date or this isn’t making any sense!”

“The latter, more likely.” Ellie set down her coffee cup and scanned the map, “So why don’t you stake out the location you had in mind for her next robbery. Me and Henry will continue to work the N.E.R.D case.”

“What? I’ve been staking out pretty much every night for the past few days. Are you sure you guys don’t need my help?” Charles asked.

“We’ll manage Charlie. Just stay out of trouble,” Ellie said, “And don’t hesitate to call us if you need our help.”

“Got it.”

- - - - -

For the fourth night in a row, Charles was sitting in an alleyway, trying to keep a low profile as he watched the street carefully for any signs of strange activity. He had gotten used to this at this point, but he wondered how so many people could keep it up without getting completely bored. He checked his internal clock, groaning that it had only been an hour since he started. Maybe he should bail and take Ellie’s advice; look into an out of the way jewelry store.

“HELP! THIEF! STOP HER!”

“SHE’S GETTING AWAY! SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!”

That’s my cue!

Charles jumped out of the alleyway, practically sprinting down the sidewalk as he followed the sound of the ruckus before he suddenly flinched at the huge explosion. He gasped as from the smoke emerged the girl, carrying a sack presumably full of stolen jewelry as she suddenly leapt fifty feet into the air before running across the rooftop.

“Damn, she’s good…” Charles muttered as he turned his arm into a grappling hook, pulling himself up to the top of the building and pursuing her. He leapt from building to building, trying to keep focused on her (mostly due to the fact that she was giving off a wi-fi signal) and keep himself from plunging to his death below.

He came to a screeching halt as he suddenly came to a gap he couldn’t quite jump over. He growled as he grabbed the ledge of the building, cursing his dad and the general for not allowing him to have any flight capabilities. Where was she?

“You’re tracking me…”

Charles gasped as he turned around to see the girl, her eyes filled with curiosity as she walked towards him, bag still in hand. She tossed it to the side as Charles tried to look intimidating, crouching down into a fighting stance as she charged at him. He was quick to dodge as he grabbed her leg and tried to trip her up, but she was faster, immediately turning her hand into a laser cannon and firing at him. Quickly dodging, he flipped back, trying not to look nervous as he turned his hand into a laser sword in an attempt to be intimidating.

“Really, Unit CC? You’re gonna do that?” Amelia said as she turned her own hand into the same thing.

“Unit… how did you know my old name?!” Charles shouted as she charged at him.

“You don’t remember me? A little thing called Project SAI!?” she shouted as she slashed at him. He dodged the attacks as he swung back, his swings impacting her own sword as he gritted his teeth.

“Why would I remember you? I barely remember the first year of my life!” Charles shouted. She gasped as she jumped back, a sort of shocked look on her face.

“You… you don’t remember me?” she said softly.

“AM I SUPPOSED TO!?” Charles shouted, “Either way you’re a Toppat, so I’m going to take you down and arrest you, right here and right now!” Charles’ hand turned into a laser blaster as the girl gasped before she charged at Charles, knocking him down off of the building, his blast going flying into the sky as he panicked.

He turned his hand into a grappling hook and hooked onto the nearest building, swinging around as he scanned the rooftops for the girl, before going back to his usual tracking methods. Suddenly, a chat box popped up on his UI, aggravating him a little.

“NOT NOW!” Charles muttered, trying to close it, before a message popped up.

GlitterToppatGirl: You aren’t going to get anywhere trying to track me. If you attack me, I’m just going to attack you. No matter how much it hurts.

xXBold_Action_ManXx: Why do you care? Charles typed in response, And how did you know my old name?

GlitterToppatGirl: How come you don’t remember me? Did the government erase your memories?

xXBold_Action_ManXx: No, they didn’t. I was found without my memories.

GlitterToppatGirl: How do you know that? You can’t trust them you know.

xXBold_Action_ManXx: I trust them. Whether you like it or not. And I’m gonna find you again whether you like it or not!

“We’ll see about that…” Before Charles could even say anything, Amelia was right behind him. He didn’t have a chance to attack her before she shot him in both of his legs, causing him to cry out as he fell to the ground, shaking as she looked at him with her cold blue eyes.

“I’m sorry Unit CC…” she whispered before running off once again.

“No… god damn it… my self reparation… C’mon, c’mon…” Charles muttered as INSUFFICIENT MATTER flashed on his screen.

These picky things I swear, Charles thought to himself as activated his cell phone, calling Ellie.

“Charles? What’s going on, what happened?” Ellie said.

“My legs… the girl blasted them. She’s an android just like me!” Charles shouted.

“What!? How come you didn’t tell us!?”

“I… I just found out too!” Charles lied, “Anyway, I need your help. You need to get to Donavan Street and bring me something to eat OK? Any matter will do!”

“We’re on our way!” Ellie hung up as Charles pressed his head against the ground, whimpering a bit, not only at the pain but at the fact that he let the Toppat get away. Why did this feel so familiar?

Meanwhile, from the top of the building, Amelia watched as Charles lay on the ground, feeling a bit guilty about leaving him there.

“Why the hell does this have to be so complicated? Why did he, of all androids, have to saved by the government?”

- - - - -

Charles lay back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling as he mindlessly watched a Newtube video to get his mind off of things. He heard a knock at the door and turned his head.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” Charles perked up as he saw his friend Henry walk in, all smiles, but his eyes full of concern.

ARE YOU FEELING ALRIGHT NOW? LEGS IN PAIN?

“Not anymore,” Charles said, “They just sustained a bit of damage, but it was mostly minor. I hate to say this, but I don’t think she was trying to hurt me. I think she was just trying to prevent me from chasing her.”

THAT’S GOOD. I DON’T WANT YOU TO GET HURT. YOU’RE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.

“Red flag alert…” Charles muttered, half jokingly as Henry walked towards him, sitting next to him and rubbing his back. Charles hugged him tightly, smiling as Henry giggled.

FOR AN ANDROID, YOU’RE QUITE WARM.

“I… well, you know. Processing and all that,” Charles said, “My self replicating nanites also serve as a coolant though, so I’ll never overheat, hehe…”

KINDA LIKE BLOOD… ARE YOU REALLY ALRIGHT?

“I’m fine Henry. Don’t worry,” Charles said softly, “I’ve been in worse pickles. One time, half of my face came off of my… well face, and man was it hard to explain that to Konrad and Calvin. They thought I was like… a Terminator or something.”

I WOULDN’T BE SHOCKED.

“This is the part where I’d quote the movie but… I’ve never watched the movie,” Charles admitted.

GUESS I KNOW WHAT WE’RE DOING FOR MOVIE NIGHT, Henry signed hopefully. Charles smiled as Henry relaxed against his shoulder, giving Charles a warm fuzzy feeling as he sighed, trying to figure out what to say next.

“Henry, I’m sorry that I didn’t catch the girl. I was kind of hoping I could catch her because she’s so dangerous, you know. I mean, a Toppat that’s equipped like that, what if she tries to break the leaders out of prison?”

I THOUGHT YOU SAID THAT PLACE WAS SECURE.

“It is! For the most part, but the question is; is it Henry proof?” Charles said smugly. The two giggled as Henry shrugged.

WHO KNOWS? I’M JUST GLAD YOU GUYS MANAGED TO CAPTURE ME. I KNOW I TRIED TO BE A BIG SHOW OFF EARLIER TODAY, BUT IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU, WE WOULDN’T HAVE TAKEN THE TOPPAT CLAN DOWN THE FIRST TIME. I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU BRO.

“Ditto. But according to the soldiers, it’s almost like you wanted to be captured… why was that?” Henry shrugged as he waved his hands, smiling sheepishly at him as he stood up, getting ready to go bed for the night.

JUST GO AHEAD AND HEAD INTO SLEEP MODE OR… HOWEVER YOU WANNA CALL IT. I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

“Mhm! See ya tomorrow Henry. Have a good night,” Charles said softly. Suddenly he thought of something and as Henry approached the door, he looked up.

“H-hey, Henry?” Charles asked. He wanted to ask why Henry was always so overprotective of him, why he always seemed to be the most concerned whenever he was hurt or in danger.

“What’s up?” Henry said softly. Charles sighed as he shook his head.

“Nevermind, it wasn’t important,” Charles said, “Good night.” Henry waved as he headed out the door, closing it behind him as Charles laid back on his bed, trying to think of anything besides what happened today. What did that girl mean by him not remembering her? Was there something to what she said. His processors spun out of wack as a couple of error messages appeared on his UI, aggravating him a little.

“Shut up,” Charles muttered, laying down on the bed and putting himself into sleep mode. Maybe his dreams would make a little more sense.

But in a way, they didn’t make sense.

Here he was, back in a place he didn’t recognize, in a dark room sitting down, not being able to move. And a cold steely gaze looking his way as he shook in place, trying to make sense of what was going on as his head started to pound. It was funny, he didn’t usually experience the phenomenon known as the headache in the waking world, but here, it was always so clear. Especially when the graphics that were holding his dream together kept glitching.

“Hello… who are you?” Charles said softly as the eyes suddenly moved, causing him to reach his hand out. He felt a sharp pain in his arm as he did this, cringing a bit as he finally stood up, shaking and shivering as he started to head towards the edge of the dark room.

It was hard to tell where the room ended and where it began, but for the longest time, it felt like he was swimming in an inky blackness, with the occasional sharp twitch from his RAM not quite cooperating with him.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up…” Charles muttered as he saw the error messages popping up in his peripheral vision. Finally, he bumped into a wall, groaning as he rubbed against the walls, finding a sort of turn wheel. He strained himself as he turned it, until it finally let out a small hiss, the pressure causing a door to open. He squinted against the new light, pushing the door open as he found himself in a grain field.

The world around him seemed distorted somehow. Fake, but not exactly real. He could feel the grain against the palms of his hands, but for some reason, it felt like the wheat was going right through him at the same time. A horrible pain shot up in the back of his head as he continued forward, trying to keep his mind off of what was happening as he saw a small town in the distance.

As he walked closer and closer towards it, he began to feel sort of funny. The world around him was glitching more and more as he headed up the stairs towards the windmill, feeling like he shouldn’t do this, like something would go wrong. He finally reached the top of the stairs, error messages alike flickering in his vision as he saw the silhouette of… someone…

Their body wasn’t quite right. It looked like someone he should recognize but at the same time, he didn’t know who it was. He wanted to know who it was, but at the same time he couldn’t quite figure it out. The figure glitched as it reached out towards him, as if trying to speak to him.

“Who are yoAUUAAAUGH!” Charles cried out, suddenly falling to the ground as he clutched his head. He tried to look up, but the world around him was slowly falling apart.

He couldn’t move.

ERROR! FILES MISSING OR CORRUPTED!

ERROR! FILES MISSING OR CORRUPTED!

ERROR! FILES MISSING OR CORRUPTED!

Shut up…

ERROR! FILES MISSING OR CORRUPTED!

SHUT UP….

ERROR! FILES MISSING OR CORRUPTED!

“SHUT UP!!” Charles screamed, suddenly rocketing up from his bed. He shook in place, taking deep breaths as his processors worked overtime trying to keep him calm as the error messages flickered away. This wasn’t the first time he had this nightmare, but it had been a while since he’d had it.

The last time he had it was after he had helped Henry infiltrate the airship. It was strange, because back than, he couldn’t think of anything that really prompted said nightmare. Maybe it was something he had done or someone he had talked to. Either way, he let out a small sigh as he sat up in bed properly, wondering if maybe it was connected to something. A bad decision, something that could go wrong, maybe even his own paranoia?

And now he was hearing things, he thought to himself as he heard a soft tapping. It sounding like someone tapping against glass actually… coming from behind him. He turned and saw the Toppat girl, looking at him through the window as he felt a small pressure in his abdomen. He remembered Ellie telling him that’s the equivalent of having a stomach ache. Suddenly a chat message popped up on his UI.

GlitterToppatGirl: Can we talk?

xXBold_Action_ManXx: No, good night. He tried to hide under the covers as another message popped up on the chat log.

GlitterToppatGirl: Please?

Charles groaned as he pulled himself out of the covers, looking at the girl, who had a sort of soft look in her eyes, nothing compared to the cold stare she had given him earlier. He sighed, feeling as it he had no choice. Slipping on his slippers and making sure that Henry and Ellie weren’t awake, he carefully opened his door and closed it quietly behind him. He grabbed a key for the apartment as he opened it quietly, closing it behind him before locking it.

He scanned the area, looking for the girl before he got another ping in his chat log.

GlitterToppatGirl: Up here.

She was right.

He headed down the stairs before pulling out his grappling hook, shooting it up towards the roof and finally ascending, feeling the cold evening air rushing around him as as he scaled the building, panicking a bit as he slipped. He looked down to see his slipper had only fallen off of his foot. He let out a small sigh, finally climbing onto the roof and saw her, staring at him intently.

Her bright blue eyes shone in the low light of the moon as she walked towards him, almost nervous.

“Hello,” she said.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t tell Henry and Ellie about you right now,” Charles said firmly.

“I just wanna talk,” she said, “Please, don’t do anything drastic.”

“I have to. You’re a Toppat,” Charles said, “So give me one good reason, right now…”

“Please, just listen to me,” she said, “I’m sorry that I blasted your legs. I had to get away from you because I wasn’t ready…”

“READY TO WHAT, GET ARRESTED?!” Charles shouted.

“Please, keep your voice down!” she shouted back.

“I can be as loud as I want to be! Just give me one good reason why I shouldn’t have you arrested!”

“BECAUSE I KNOW YOU!”

Charles gasped as he saw the desperation in her eyes, almost pleading as he suddenly backed off, feeling strange. Wait, he shouldn’t feel bad for her. She’s a Toppat, but still, at the same time, he felt like he shouldn’t let her down.

“I’m sorry, OK, I’m sorry that this had to happen this way! But the fact that you don’t even remember me or anything, it’s just scaring me! I don’t know what to tell you, but you really should remember me. They erased your memories, didn’t they?”

“The government? N-no, not at all. In fact, I’m not sure what would make you come to that conclusion. My memories were gone before I was even found by the government. The only thing I remember is a cold dark room with bright blue eyes watching me…” Charles shivered, trying not to think of his nightmare.

“So you remember that… what was the first thing you remember when you first woke up?” she asked.

“I remember, General Galeforce… back than he wasn’t a general, he was just a captain. He… he wanted to liberate me. To have me repaired because they thought I would be useful,” Charles said softly, “And than I went to sleep for another month… and when I woke up, I was fully repaired and completely operational. What about you?”

“So they saved you… I can’t believe they saved you. I wish I had known… oh god…” she sighed as she put her hands in her face, trying to process what was happening as Charles tipped her head to the side.

“Um… I hate to ask, but who are you? I really need to know,” Charles said.

“So you can have me arrested?” she said coldly.

“N-no… so I can at least know what to call you,” Charles said.

“You can call me Amelia. Just Amelia for now,” she said, “I’m sorry that I freaked out at you earlier. I just can’t understand why you don’t remember me or Project SAI.”

“Project SAI does sound familiar,” Charles said, “I remember my dad talked about it, but other than that-” ERROR “-drawing a blank.”

“So you only know about Project SAI through word of mouth. Well I lived every moment of Project SAI, from when I was first booted up to it’s downfall at the hands of the government. Including the eradication of any androids associated with the project.”

“Is that why you became a Toppat? Because you can’t trust the government?” Charles said softly.

“Why would I? I was pretty sure they would have had me dismantled as well. And for about six years I had convinced myself that you were dead too. I’m happy that you’re alive… even if you don’t remember me,” Amelia said.

“Uh, that’s good, so now I have questions about that. How do you know me?” Charles asked.

“We used to be close. We were inseparable, according to the other androids. To the other androids, however, you were considered defective, due to some kind of strange malfunction. One day, you were tasked with something that you couldn’t easily do so they declared you defective officially and had you carted away to be… used for spare parts…” Amelia looked up at Charles as if she had just realized something as he tipped his head to the side.

“You… they erased your memories. Why would they do that? It’s not like… why would they…” Amelia felt like she was trying to put together the pieces of a twisted puzzle.

“OK, I hate to interrupt your freak out, but I gotta head back inside, because I don’t know how quiet I was when leaving and my friends are going to assume I’m missing. Again,” Charles said.

“Wait, we have to keep meeting up, right? We can still talk to each other?” Amelia said.

“What? No we can’t! We’re not on the same side and besides, even if I could, it would still be wrong!” Charles shouted.

“Please, I have to talk to you again, even if we’re not on the same side, I just have to!” Amelia said.

“There’s too much for this… we can’t exactly justify this kind of thing…” Charles said. But my heart says otherwise. I mean I don’t have a heart, but at the same time, it’s all in the mind, right?

It can’t hurt to meet with her again. Especially if we don’t exchange any sensitive information, it should be OK right?

“Alright, here’s the deal. We’ll meet again. Twice every month or so. But the rules are we can’t say anything about our respective jobs. We keep everything locked up tight. We ask about our days, we talk about movies we’ve seen, et cetera, et cetera. That’s it. If I promise not to pump you for information, you have to do the same for me as well. I’m not gonna tell you anything and you won’t say anything to me,” Charles said.

“And this stays between us?” Amelia said.

“As long as we can. I mean, the odds of us getting caught are pretty high, but in all honesty, I’m willing to take the risk,” Charles said.

“Alright than. Maybe I’ll see you in a few weeks than…” Amelia waved goodbye as she ran across the roof before jumping on top of a nearby building, running off into the night. Charles sighed, wondering just what he had gotten himself into.

Maybe it’ll work out. And maybe if I do get caught, it won’t be so bad. After all, I’m not going to be exchanging any sensitive information. It’ll all work out in the end, right?

- - - - -

Amelia stepped into her own apartment, looking around before letting out a small sigh. She started to take off her formal clothes, quickly changing into something more comfortable before she sat down on the couch, looking up at the ceiling.

“Rough day?” Amelia looked up and saw Burt hovering over her, fiddling with his cane as she nodded her head.

Burt was the only Toppat they had managed to get out of the Wall so far. While Amelia would have prefered Sven or Carol or heck, even Red Crimson, Burt being here was still refreshing. Especially considering his own knowledge in technology and computers, being the former head of communications for the Toppat Clan. She was happy to work with him too, considering how close they were before the entire Clan was arrested.

“Did you find a seller for the jewels?” Amelia asked.

“Hmm, nothing yet. It’s only been an hour. We’ll get some bids soon though,” Burt said, “And than we can keep paying rent, giving those sweet dollars to those techno geeks-”

“-And of course, ensuring a budget for ourselves in the event we can actually get the rest of the clan out of the Wall. And than we can rescue my dad and the Right Hand Man…” Amelia said.

“Yep, but I wouldn’t count on it happening in a week. It’ll probably be another month or two before we have an actual concrete plan. Wendell himself said so,” Burt said.

“They promised they wouldn’t hurt the… government dog anymore. So I have less to worry about now…” Amelia paused as she said this, wondering if that was completely true.

“That’s the look of someone who made a promise that they’re not sure they can keep. What happened?” Burt asked.

“You know I snuck out?”

“Why do you think I’m awake?”

“Mmm… I’d rather not say right now. Just know that it’s not for our benefit.”

“Hmm.” Burt sat down next to her, letting out a small sigh.

“It’s at times like this I bet you miss your dad though. He’d probably offer some fatherly advice of some sort,” Burt said, putting his arm around her shoulder.

He’d probably tell me I’m making a big mistake. Say that I’m taking a huge risk. Maybe even get onto me for not pumping information out of him… Amelia thought to herself.

“Dad wouldn’t have really… approved of what I did, to be honest…” Amelia said.

“Aw, don’t say that. You’ll always be his little princess, no matter how old you get and how many bank heists you manage yourself,” Burt said.

“Yeah… I’m his little princess…” Amelia said, “I’m gonna turn in for the night.”

“For real this time?” Amelia smirked as Burt’s eyebrow shot up.

“For real this time.”

Meanwhile, across town, Charles had managed to sneak back to his room before he felt something tap his shoulder. He turned around to see Ellie looking at him with a sort of agitated look on her face, a slipper in her hand. His slipper.

“Lose something?” Ellie said softly as Charles snatched the shoe out of her hand.

“Don’t touch my stuff,” Charles muttered, “I’m not in the mood right now.”

“Can’t help if it was outside, you know, where you definitely don’t sleep. Just what are you up to?”

“Nothing. Nothing important anyway. It’s fine, I just had to… take a walk,” Charles said.

“With one slipper?” Ellie asked.

“I had to get the full sensory experience of having one shoe off. Just… GET OFF MY BACK ALREADY!” Charles shouted, before slamming the door in Ellie’s face. It didn’t really help that Ellie was practically cursing at him as he leaned against the door, trying to think about what to do next.

“It’s OK, Charles… you’re doing the right thing…” He pulled his head up to his knees, hugging his legs as he did.

At least I hope I am...

[gothprentiss]

Mahonia and jasmine ❤️

mahonia ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?

hm. hm. i often find myself experiencing a sort of impossible-to-direct enthusiasm when i'm listening to music i really like! like every time i put on conception - by the blues (not a "Good" song but it's perfect 2 me) and the chorus kicks off i want to kick the air and run a mile and change my life. this isn't really what the question is asking but i have a sort of very tight feedback loop of inspiration/output when i'm writing (work or recreational), insofar as i actively need to be reading in order to write. like split screen document and pdf, always. there doesn't need to be anything meaningfully related between the thing i'm reading and the thing i'm writing, and there usually isn't (i'm too cantankerous to be a plagiarist lol), but i need to, like, be reminded how language feels in order to produce it i guess. this means that sometimes i'll start reading something and not be able to focus bc i need to be writing in order to read lol.

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

i was trying to think of a book example and i think terry pratchett's ya fiction? i love pratchett, i think the night watch discworld books are some of my favorite rereads, and i absolutely thrashed my middle school copy of a hat full of sky because i reread it so many times. it was one of the first books i read that felt like it opened doors for me re: what prose could be like (i.e., he was doing jokes while telling stories and that was very exciting), but i don't think i'd ever give it another try. monstrous regiment, which i think kind of treads the line of ya fiction and not, is already a bit too cloyingly Girls Can Do ANYTHING! for me, and it only gets a pass because it balances that out with some of my favorite jokes of all time; i'm just not sentimental enough to try it out again.

[bookwyrminspiration]

How you word so good and much????

Excellent question! The short answer is that I'm kinda just fucking around and finding out and kinda shambling my way towards improvement

The long answer is under the cut and that "good" writing is very subjective and depends on what you're looking for and what appeals to you. I found some of the things I liked by looking at stories I enjoyed and what about the format appealed to me.

Good writing also comes from being able to make and accept critique without taking it personally. You make things better by deconstructing and reconstructing, pointing out flaws and fixing them. You need to get comfortable with being critiqued and open to critiquing yourself. It's not anything against you, it's to make your work better! When I see a weird sentence in my draft that feels wrong, I don't get caught up on how I didn't write something good, I take it as an opportunity to make it better.

Bad writing isn't something you leave behind forever. You'll improve and will have a better understanding of how to write well, but every single writer has times where they write and it's terrible. That's not telling of your writing as a whole, it's how things go.

Sometimes that means switching out a word so you're not repeating yourself. Sometimes that means taking out a whole chunk of your writing because it's not working--though I don't delete the big chunks, I put them in a separate document to hold on to in case I ever want to use those lines/interactions/ideas again.

Writing well is a continuous process of trying things and trying again and critiquing yourself (not in a mean way) so you can grow! And the process never ends, it's an infinite journey. Which I think is wonderful. How boring it would be if there was an end to growing.

As for how I write so much, for me it comes down to consistency. The wings au didn't spring up overnight and it didn't grow the way it did with random writing sessions where I pounded out a few thousand words and then waited for the next dose of inspiration/motivation.

Inspiration and motivation can be unreliable, so it's beneficial to be able to write without those. At least for me, it's too sporadic to be my only way to write. There are nights where I am dragging myself through my word goal for the day wanting to ignore it, but if I keep waiting for motivation I could be waiting for days, weeks, months, who knows! And sometimes the act of writing is exactly what you need to find it because you get caught up in your story and want to keep going. Sometimes you gotta write when you don't want to

I do that by trying to be as consistent as possible with my writing. I set a word count goal to hit and little by little, that builds into a story. For the majority of the wings au, that daily par was 600 words. Yours can be more or less (and it doesn't have to be daily), but please make it realistic. You want this to be something actually achievable so you aren't constantly failing to hit it and feeling worse about yourself.

Keeping up with that will slow and steady build your work into what you want it to be! And it will make it easier to write when you don't feel like it because you know you're capable of hitting your goals. This part does take a fair amount of commitment and determination to do something difficult, but I think it's worth it. Writing isn't always easy.

Also, take breaks! You're a person and you shouldn't be chugging forward without stop. I know I just said that you shouldn't wait forever for motivation, but there's a distinction between taking a break because you need it and not writing because you're putting it off.

Sometimes I want to skip my words for the day and when I do, I evaluate why. Do I want to skip today because I'm busy with more important work, because I'm sick, because I'm burnt out? Those are great reasons to take a break! Or am I wanting to skip because I just feel like putting it off for no good reason and browse tumblr instead? That's the kind of thing I like to push against and write in spite of.

Breaks are excellent. After NaNoWriMo in 2021 I didn't write a single word for over a month because I needed the break and life was chaotic. So don't feel bad about taking them, just be honest about if you're actually taking a break or if you don't have a good reason (and a good reason can look different for different people!). I'd encourage you to challenge yourself to push through if you don't have a good reason.

Those are kinda the basics of my thoughts about writing good and much, so hopefully some of that is helpful! I'm sure I could say a lot more but I don't wanna make this longer than I already have. But I'm always down to talk about writing and exchange experience/thoughts/tips/etc.

happy writing!

[sluttyhenley]

29, 32, 33?

Ohh I love these questions!

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

Inspiration is kind of a mixed bag for me and often I have a very passive approach to it. I’m either inspired or I’m not. And sometimes it’s music. I have a very rough first draft of a novel sitting in a notebook that started taking shape while I was listening to a Christian Kane song. I have had fic inspired by a post that made me go hmmm that would fit x pairing. I have a fic I wrote that was inspired by a thing that happened to an irl friend (she not only gave me permission to write it but encouraged it). And for fic writing: if the media inspires me then I’ll find myself opening up a new document. And once the media stops inspiring I don’t really try to find it per se. But I love when I get that correct blend of circumstances that results in inspiration

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

There are certain pieces of dialogue or quotes that have hit me at just the right time to stick in my brain. One that comes to mind right now is “If I hadn’t gotten up, I would’ve missed it.” From Springsteen’s born to run. It’s such a simple line in its phrasing. And yet in its placement and the larger scheme of the story he’s telling it sticks out. And I just find myself thinking about it on the regular. And it’s important to me right now too because I made some big life changes in different directions in the last several years that I was uneasy about. And yet. There’s so much I would have missed if I hadn’t done it. And I think. Idk. It’s a whole host of things. It’s a motivation. And gratitude. Anyway!

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

I draw sometimes. Doodles mostly. Those sometimes show up in my writing. Particularly handwritten stuff. I did an embroidery project last summer. And uhhh. Gif making I suppose. Some of those feel more artistic than others. And sometimes it ties into my writing. Sometimes not. For example. I did a web weaving set for masters of the air a while back and the ideas I incorporated into that are very much the same ideas feeding into the series of one-shots I’ve been writing. But more often the answer is no I don’t really tend to make art that ties into my writing. Not really on purpose either. It’s more like inspiration seems to come from different directions