#they deserve their fucking peace. they fought for it. they earned it. leave them the fuck alone.

[orcelito]

The new fire emblem's protagonists Do kinda look better with fanartists. But I just hate how they look in the actual game. They look so ridiculous and incongruent within their own designs. It's so glaring, it will probably be hard to ignore in-game.

[sortasirius]

“Unity” and the Broken Boys

BOY Y’ALL BETTER SIT DOWN BECAUSE THIS IS AS LONG AS CAN BE AND I TOOK OFF WORK TOMORROW SO I’VE GOT TIME

This is....one of the best episodes in the show.  Yeah, in all 325 of them, this is hands down one of the best.

First of all, stan Amara for clear skin.

That silent treatment babey, right out the gate with the Angst.  Tbh Dean deserves it.

“Like I said, killing Amara, Jack dying...that’s the only way.”

“The only way.  Our one shot.  Our Last chance.  You ever get tired of saying stuff like that?”

“We don’t have to like it, alright?  But you and me, we gotta get it done.”

Amara is such a welcome energy in this whole episode.  She’s warm and understanding, whip-smart and probably more powerful than Chuck.  I love her.

Sam is a wonderful, understanding, loving dad.  I love him eternally.  He loves Jack so much, he’s trying so desperately to do what’s right for Jack but also what’s right for the world.  Jack made this choice, but he can’t live with it.  How do you support your child when their life is at stake?

“Come on man.  Blindly following orders, lying to Amara, sending her to her death. Does any of this feel right to you??”

“It doesn’t matter how we feel!  You know what?  Stay.  Stay.  Someone has to be the grown up here.”

“Yeah well someone has to keep fighting for Jack!”

“He knows what he signed up for!”

“Last I checked, we don’t give up on family.”

“Jack’s not family.”

Y’all should have heard the noise I made.  What a fucking line.

“I know how you feel about the kid, I care for him too, I do, but he’s not like you.  He’s not like Cas.  He’s just not.”

“I’m- I’m ready.”

You can see the regret, the heartbreak in Dean’s eyes.  You can see how he wants to take those words back the moment he said them, and for Jack to hear them?  It’s unthinkable.

Sam and Cas I’m just so fucking emo dude.

“Sam, you stayed behind to find another way huh?  I woulda done the same.”

AMARA

First of all, LOVE this structure.

Amara and Chuck have such a fascinating dynamic.  Rob and Emily do a great job (as they have all along) by clearly being siblings but...heightened.  You can just tell they both exude power, and the other is the only one they consider an equal.

“You and Dean had that whole weird...thing.”

“That wasn’t you writing?”

“Ugh, not that part.  Gross.”

What I took away from this is what I’ve suspected all along.  They HAVE free will, just not total free will.  Dean and Amara’s connection wasn’t Chuck, there are parts of the story he didn’t write.  Obviously, this comes into play later. 

I also have a hunch that Chuck doesn’t write romance.  I also think that in particular will come into play.

“Balance.  Something we’ve never tried before.  Creation and destruction, light and dark, brother and sister united again, but on behalf of one world, this world.  True balance.  The way it was always meant to be.  But you can’t.  You only care about your pleasure, your story.  Well, I guess that makes you the villain.”

“Villains get all the best lines.”

We see again and again this season, Chuck is irredeemable.  He doesn’t care about the angels, he doesn’t care about the world, he doesn’t care about anything.  He is a petulant toddler who has broken his toys. And when he realizes he’s trapped, he gets angry, he shouts and screams, completely at odds with Amara’s peace.

“You can’t hold me here forever.”

“I can hold you long enough.”

DEAN

Pain is the name of the game in this section homies.  Because not only are we dealing with Dean’s pain, we’re also dealing with Jack’s.  Jack says he understands why Cas and Sam mean more to Dean, but Dean clearly doesn’t, he, once again, wants to say more, but is stopped, still stopped by his fear: his fear of not beating Chuck.

Alright guys, gals, and non-binary pals.  Let’s talk about Adam and Seraphina.

Adam.  The first man.  And Seraphina.  The angel.

“My old lady.  She’s the only one who could put up with me all these years.”

Yeah okay.  Volume at 100 I get it lmao.

But also: Adam wants God dead not because he and Eve were kicked out of the Garden, but because he went after their sons.  The theme of protecting the children strikes again.

“Killing God is your plan?”

“Yeah, Billie’s been giving us a hand but Sera and me, this is our baby.”

This juxtaposed directly with Dean’s own pain at what he has to do to kill Chuck, to gain his free will: the cost of his child.

Adam’s rib.

And who else might get his ribs hurt, only to be likely healed by an angel?

It’s fine, that’s fine.  I’m fine with that.

“Jack, I don’t know how to explain it but, when I found out about Chuck, it’s like I wasn’t alive.  Not really.  You know like my whole life I’ve never been free, but like really free.  But now?  Now me and Sam, we got a shot at living a life, without all this crap on our backs.  And that’s, that’s because of you.  So, I want to say, I need to say...thank you, Jack.  Thank you.”

I’m gonna have to do a separate post about just Dean in this episode, because there is so fucking much to talk about, but there are a couple of things that I think are important:  Dean realizes how wrong he was, to say what he said.  He knows that it’s not true, this is the way he’s always coped with loss, by pushing the person to be lost away, but for Jack to hear it?  He can’t stand for that.

And:

Dean has finally pushed through the barrier.  He won’t be quiet in the face of his doubts anymore.  This is a breakthrough for him, and, of course, there are more to come.

SAM

Sam and Cas, my chaos duo.

The box, the inscription, the door.

Death’s library, filled with dead reapers.

And there it is.  The Empty.

It tells Sam the plan, the plan for Billie to take God’s place.  For everything to go back to the way it’s “supposed to be.”

This has always been the game, since season 13.  This is the longest of long games.

Sam fuckin Winchester, lying his way out of a confrontation with the Empty like the legend that he is.

He comes back with a new purpose: to stop Billie’s plan, and here’s where we get to the heart of the episode and maybe the heart of the season.

“You hear that?  Dean, brought to the edge of doubt.  His sense of duty, his rage winning out in the end.  And poor Sam, always gotta know everything.  Can’t leave well enough alone.  This is my ending, my real ending.”

The gun comes out, pointed at Sam.

Hmm...what did I say during 15x05?  Oh yeah, this.

And:

Dean would never survive killing Sam, but he’s willing to do anything, anything to earn his freedom.  His ending, where one brother kills the other and then kill himself.

Why, you might ask, did Sam not mention that the angels would be sent back to Heaven, why does he not mention Cas?  I’ll tell you why, or rather, Becky will.

Plus, Dean looks back at Cas IMMEDIATELY when Sam says that, when he mentions Eileen, and THAT’S the first time he hesitates.  He can’t lose Cas.  But at the same time, he’s willing to do anything to have his freedom.

“Sam we don’t have a choice, Jack’s about to blow!”

“We always have a choice!”

You know me, just sitting here thinking about choice, the ability to choose, and how that translates to their free will.

And Sam...I don’t think there will ever be characters I love as much as these.

“I don’t care if Billie gets what she wants!  I don’t man, I’d trade it all, I’d trade em all for Chuck.  In a heartbeat!”

“What about me?”

“You’d trade me?”

“Chuck has to die.  He has to!  Otherwise he’ll keep us tap dancing forever, and I can’t live like that man, I can’t live like that, I won’t!”

“I know you feel like that right now, okay? I know you do, but you gotta trust me.  My entire life, you’ve protected me.  From Dad, from Lucifer, from everything.  I didn’t always like it, you know?  But it’s the one thing in the whole world that I could always count on.  It’s the only thing I’ve ever known that was true.  So please, put the gun away.  Just put it away.  We’ll figure it out, Dean, we’ll find another way, you and me.  We always do.”

Okay I feel like this is going to be one of those scenes that I cry watching for years to come.  Because fuck.  After fifteen years they finally admit that not only did Dean protect Sam from Lucifer, but he protected him from John.  John.  On a par with Lucifer.

Dean and Sam have, for so many years, sacrificed themselves for the other.  Dean’s demon deal, Sam and the trials, every season they have fought to see who can die the quickest for the other.  But this?  This is them fighting to stop the violence, to stop from killing the big bad.  This is them growing, in our eyes, in real time.  Sam has always been able to get through to Dean when no one else had a prayer, but for Dean to listen, for Dean to take his words to heart, to stop the hunt for Sam, for their family, that’s how you know they do have free will.

(Btw Chuck’s eye effect when he dusted Amara was sick as fuck but I’m emo for my boys so.)

Chuck knows it’s a loss, he knows that his story has, once again, been thwarted by the boys making their own choices.  And he’s pissed, but in his anger, we get a bomb dropped on us.

“Spare me your contempt Castiel, the self-hating angel of Thursday.  You know what every other version of you did after “gripping him tight and raising him from perdition”?  They did what they were told.  But not you.  Not the one off the line with a crack in his chassis.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

Also, just worth bringing up this one as well:

Every Castiel pulled Dean out of Hell.  Every one told him the same thing.  And yet, immediately, with this Cas and this Dean, something was different.  Because what has everyone seen about Cas, from the moment he met Dean?

And there’s our endgame people.  Laid out on the line.

But we ain’t done yet, fam.

We’ve talked about the handprint, but you know:

So there you have it, our prep into the “monumental” 15x18.  I have spec on that, of course, but I think a novel is long enough for this.

What to take away: Dean’s rage was always Chuck’s plan, they do have free will, their love for each other, for their family, is what will stop Chuck’s control, Death is about to come back with a vengeance, Cas’ deal is at play, and, most importantly, Castiel and Dean Winchester are a blind spot for Chuck, something he has never, not once, controlled.

[the-fandomwriter]

Wilbur’s Character Arc

holy shit i’m fucking shaking while writing this. 

I just finished watching Wilbur’s last stream where he betrays Tommy, Pogtopia, L’Manberg etc. (I’m late leave me alone) BUT WOW I’M FEELING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW, SO I’M GOING TO DO A CHARACTER (ARC) ANALYSIS FOR YOU GUYS BC I’M A WRITER AND THIS SHIT IS HITTING SO HARD. 

So, incase you need informing, in Wilbur’s recent twitch stream we watch as he basically descends into madness, declaring that he and Tommy cannot (and should not) trust anyone except Dream. 

Why should they trust Dream you may ask? Well, according to Wilbur, he believes that Dream just wants to watch both nations burn. Dream wants to take advantage of two crumbling nations to show just how well the Dream smp is thriving, and how his lands are better than any other on the server, and that he is essentially the best and most fitting ruler throughout all nations. 

Now, this assumption can be mostly proven through Dream’s book “Tyrant” which he gave Tommy a few streams back. This book explained that Dream will assist the members of Pogtopia, but will only do so from the shadows since Schlatt was legally elected to rule (L’)Manberg. However, Dream’s true intentions aren’t exactly clear. He’s always had a slight soft spot for Tommy, (he accepted Tommy’s deal of trading the discs for freedom, and he supplied Tommy with supplies and allyship during their initial banishment) which would explain why he would side with Pogtopia in this situation rather than Manberg, who has no history with him, and Dream sees as compete chaos and does not support Schlatt’s ruling in any way possible. 

Dream’s whole role in the fall of L’manberg is to be touched on another day. 

But Wilbur. Poor old Wilbur. The man we once knew as the kind-hearted leader of a nation who never fought with swords. A nation who never bore armor, even during wartimes. Wilbur Soot may have declared himself ruler of L’manberg without making any accommodations for other possible rulers, but in the end, he deserved to rule L’Manberg. Wilbur founded L’Manberg, he helped build it’s walls, and wrote it’s “Declaration of Independance”. He earned his place as President of L’Manberg, and deciding to open up an election to make L’Manberg into a democracy was a brilliant idea. 

But the elections are where everything went downhill. 

Wilbur argues during his recent stream that “the people voted for Schlatt2020″ But they didn’t. Schlatt2020 only won because of the agreement that occurred between Quackity and Schlatt two days before the election results, which resulted in their votes being pooled together. 

POG2020 won the election by 45%. Schlatt2020 and SWAG2020 both lost. 

The people voted for POG2020. The deal ensured the win of Schlatt2020. Not the people. 

But Wilbur doesn’t understand this. He is convinced that people wanted this, that people wanted him out of office, and they did not see him fit to rule L’Manberg any longer. The loss of the Presidential election was the turning point of Wilbur’s character. 

The banishment of Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit only fueled the fire. It made Wilbur angrier, pushed him to his limits and in the end, ate away at his kind exterior, and began to reveal a side of him no one had ever seen before. 

The rise of Pogtopia gave him an ounce of hope. Hope that he could regain his rule over L’Manberg and shut down this tyrannical ruler and restore peace and harmony to the world. But the trust issues he developed after the betrayal of Eret during the previous war with the Dream smp, and the betrayal of his own son, Fundy, after Schlatt won the election, begin to swallow him whole. 

Wilbur doesn’t know who to trust. He ignores Eret’s help, insisting that such a person could not have a “redemption arc”, and that Eret’s intentions are only malevolent. 

He helps Niki when Schlatt raids her home, but after that he separates himself from her. But Wilbur refuses to believe that she really wants to help him. 

He believes that Tubbo is just faking his “007″ act. That Tubbo is really playing Pogtopia, and feeding information to members of Manberg instead. Which in return, only gives them (Wilbur and Tommy) a false sense of security in his role as Hercules Mulligan. Same with Technoblade. Wilbur insists that the second Techno is given the chance, he will turn around and stab Wilbur and Tommy in the back. That he will turn to the “winning side” the moment he finds it fit. Wilbur cannot find it in himself to trust anyone but Tommy and Dream. 

These trust issues are isolating Wilbur from everyone. He spends more time monologuing about how he can’t trust anyone. That Pogtopia and Manberg are doomed no matter what. He feeds into his negative thoughts, which fuels this colder side of himself I mentioned earlier. This is the side of Wilbur no one has ever hoped to see. 

We watch him slowly begin to unhinge. Lashing out at Tommy, saying horrible things about him (Tommy) that the other Wilbur, the kind, big brother Wilbur would have never dared utter in such a bitter and serious tone. His hysterical laughter chills me to the bone. Calling on Dream who helps him bring his plan of blowing up the entirety of (L’)Manberg to life. 

And worst of all, he’s happy about it all. He literally says this is the first time he’s been happy since their banishment. The thought of burning the nation- he built -to the ground makes him happy. The thought of any casualties, friend or foe, during the attack, makes him happy. Because Wilbur has fully convinced himself everyone is against him. He can’t wrap his mind around the thought of other people being on the same side as him. 

Due to this isolation, the separating himself from all other possible allies, he has lost sight of himself. He had lost sight of his true intentions. Of his good heart. 

This is no longer the Wilbur Soot we know and love. The Wilbur Soot who fights with fancy words and dramatic monologues. This is a new Wilbur. One who has been devoured by his trust issues, and entirely lost to the results of war. Wilbur is not a leader anymore. He is an anarchist. A madman. He fights with swords and wears armor and conspires against the people who truly do love and care for him. He is becoming a villain. 

And I fucking love it. 

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s son (Part 2)

Tony Stark x son!reader

warnings:

a/n: had to split it into 2 parts bc i hit the text limit dhshaggags

prompt: continued

part 1

~sokovia was ur first big mission~

“why is y/n here, stark?” -cap

“the first mistake was letting me become a father”

“good god, tony...”

you having the time of your life crushing robots

“WHEEEEEE”

also proving useful by saving avengers a handful of times

“thanks for the assist, stark clone” -clint

rip pietro

rhodey was actually the most worried about you if we’re being honest, he didn’t understand why they let you in this one???

“y/n? y/n, talk to me! are you alive?”

“yes, uncle rhodey! i’m perfect, stop worrying!”

“i love you, kid! be safe!”

✨a good family you’ve got✨

soon the avengers broke up bc your dad cant get along with steve and it was just really awkward

but you chose your dad’s side

“sorry, steve! he pays my allowance!”

peter was actually a little okay, you know!! spazzy at first, but he was cool

“dude, you’re y/n stark! you’re tony stark’s very own son! i’m talking to mr. stark’s only child!”

“yep, that’s me. i’m what earned tony the title of ‘DILF’”

teenage teamup? ofc

“am i doing alright?”

“looking a-okay, pete!”

tony was worried fighting steve would traumatize you so he made you wait at the hotel with happy and peter

“don’t do anything to embarrass me, y/n. i dont want to see you on the news for something stupid”

you and peter ended up hanging out in your room and watching tv and ordering room service

“how do you do that so smoothly? i’d just freak out and go get it myself”

“years of experience as a spoiled rich brat”

absolutely positively being up all night and trying to fight your exhaustion

“you two seem to be getting along well. couldn’t be me” -happy

“for someone named happy, you never seem to be happy”

“not around teenagers, no”

“i remember when you loved me, ‘uncle happy’”

peter texted you every day after that

whenever flash picked on peter for “never meeting tony stark” he’d show a picture of you and him taking selfies in the lab together yes you invite him over much to the dismay of everyone else around you

plus tony was out of town and you were finally trusted enough to be left alone unchecked so like, happy would just leave at the first sign of peter

“that’s not real!”

“jealous?”

you actually showed up for homecoming on a dare (but in disguise)

didn’t wanna attract all the attention, you just wanted a high school experience

but you got called into avengers tower to help move early on :/ bad timing too cuz peter had to fight his first villain and u missed it

“dude, how do you feel?”

“bruh sound effect number two”

“oh my god”

FRIDAY heard him and pulled up the sound and you were WEAK you couldn’t stop laughing

“please....i think i broke a few ribs. cant laugh until tomorrow”

tony offered peter the avengers gig and peter said no, you were very disappointed but u understood that not everyone wanted to be in the spotlight like that

but you and peter obviously still hung out

oh, tony proposed! they interviewed you on sight!

“y/n, how does it feel to know that you’re going to have a stepmom soon?”

“you guys are aware that pepper helped raise me, right? right?!”

moving on, life was smooth for a while, there was some wedding planning, talk of you being a best man (which rhodey fought you on)

“no, i’ve known your dad longer!”

“i’m his son!”

i n v a s i o n

oh boy that was rough

bruce was surprised that you had fucking grown so much in the past 3 years good lord

“y/n...your VOICE”

“puberty, i know. when’s it gonna happen to you?”

“it hurts more when it’s from a teenager”

“uh, did you forget my birthday?”

peter’s back! peter’s back!

finally, man

“spider-kid, i could use an assist!”

“on the way!”

“aliens, why did it have to be aliens?”

up up and away for tony and peter, leaving you on the ground with all the earthly chaos and fear

“you two are the absolute worst, you know that? DAD, PETER, GET BACK DOWN HERE”

“no can do, kid. i—” *cuts off*

“oh great, no service on the space donut, huh? find a damn wifi password and call me back you asshole”

pepper was probably having a heart attack bc the news stations were having a field day but you were one of the only active avengers left, meaning you had to help clean this up

“bruce, we gotta get going”

“what? where?”

“upstate”

patching up the avengers as best as you could to take care of the threat

but you guys always win, this should be a cake walk, right?

wrong.

this was bad, very bad

after a lengthy battle with thanos in wakanda, you had failed. thanos got the stones, he snapped. the world was in ruins. but you didn’t get to see that part

you dusted away

“tell dad i’m sorry and i love him”

tony finally came back to earth hoping to see you, but upon seeing pepper’s face, he knew you were gone

“he did everything he could, tony! he didn’t deserve it!”

she was extremely upset, she saw you like a son of her own

soon, her and tony restarted their life and had a daughter, dad always wondered what it’d be like to have a little girl. it was different, it really was

she was eager to meet you

morgan stole pictures of you to hang up in her room

“when i meet y/n, im gonna give him a big hug! then we’ll have a tea party!”

tony has a picture of you and peter in the kitchen, he misses the two of you, but found comfort in the fact that you may be with each other

an ounce of hope, he had to try something

save his only son, and his other son

when he got to 2012, he was disappointed that he hadn’t let you become an avenger yet because he couldn’t see you here

yada yada he fucked up now he’s in the 70s and he fixed the fuck up and now hes in 2023

and bruce snapped

and you were all brought back and the way you kicked ass was inspiring

tony had to see his son now. right now.

“y/n, dear god! you’re okay! oh, man. i love you so much, kid. i missed you”

“i love you too. and i can’t believe you went to space without me, meanie”

“get over it”

ah, back to old times

peter and you obviously had to team up for this one! come on, what a story to tell!

and then, a snap and the warriors began to fade. you turned around and saw him on his knees

“no...”

you rushed over to where peter already was and tried to hold back tears, to be strong for him

“hey, dad. i’m here. no more missed goodbyes, okay? i’m here.”

you sat beside him and held his hand while the rest of your family made their peace with him and he finally slipped away

“y/n...are you okay?” -peter

“not even a little”

peter was worried about you, but you were worried about peter

mutual worry

meeting morgan was...surprising

pepper forgot to tell you they had a daughter while you were gone

she was so sweet and for the first month you lived at the cabin, she slept in your room

you got NO space

“i love you y/n”

“love you too” *thinking about dad bc she just reminds you of him so much*

“i love you y/n”

“love you too, morgan”

over and over

peter and you had sleepovers a lot, usually at his house bc you were the only one besides ned allowed over bc of all the spider-stuff

ned fanboyed over you

also sleepovers at peter’s were a nice break from being at tony’s cabin where you were constantly reminded that he wasn’t there

“y/n, i’m going to europe for a field trip! it’s gonna be awesome!”

“dude, you’re gonna love it. are you bringing your suit?”

“no, this is my offical vacation. no spider-manning”

“good for you, man!”

peter sent you all the pictures he took on his phone

all of them

Peter-Man: And this one is me and Ned in our crappy hotel room. And here’s the river. And here’s MJ covered in birds, and here’s the airplane, Mr. Harrington fell asleep on me

you had to come to europe once you heard what was going on

happy and you picked up peter and he was a mess

“you gave away dad’s glasses?”

“i think we’re past the point that i am not smart”

“jesus, peter. you should have called me about them. i would have taken them off your hands if you weren’t ready for them”

having to make sure that you guys didn’t get hurt bc this was honestly your guy’s first solo pair-up

there wasnt much backup here

finally, you defeated the evil (who apparently held a very large grudge against you. sorry mister beck) and were able to go back home

“call me if you need anything, pete”

“i will. i promise.”

and the next thing you know...peter’s identity was exposed

“i left him alone for one day!”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiant // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm //

[hadesisqueer]

I'm bored and I don't care and you most probably don't care too but I don't care about that either, so here it comes: my Blake analysis.

People tend to think Yang is my favorite character. And, although they're not entirely wrong, because she's the character I relate the most to, my actual favorite character is Blake. I just find her so inspiring, and such an interesting character yet flawed character. CRWBY did a great job showing her traits as both the Beauty and the Beast, and I just love it.

Leaving the White Fang and Beacon times

Honestly, one of the things I admire the most about Blake is just how freaking brave she is. Because it takes an incredible amount of courage to be able to realize about your mistakes and seek a way to redeem yourself by learning to help people. And it takes a lot of strength to be able to leave your abuser behind.

Blake leaves the White Fang and gets into Beacon hoping for two things: redemption and a new life. She starts off as the typical quiet, kind of cynical (yet still idealistic), emo and mysterious girl who we knew basically nothing about her. We had basic information about the other three, but nothing from her except that she wore a bow and liked books.

I really liked how she seemed to not want to get close to anyone, but then the interactions with Ruby and Yang came. She, although kind of annoyed because they wouldn't let her read (mood), seemed amused by them, and even awkwardly tried to tell them that it was a pleasure to meet them as they fought and before Weiss came and she gave up reading (mood).

Which is one of the reasons I think she chose Yang as her partner. She was probably looking for a partner who she knew she could work well with. And having being partners with Adam, who was just as much of an offensive fighter as Yang, she knew she could work with that. That and the fact that she also seemed to like her and Ruby the night before, so Blake probably recognised her and followed her around to check if Yang could fight too (also because she was hot okay this is just me shipping). And when she saw she could, she was probably like “Okay, I'm keeping this one”. Which is fun, because Blake was the quiet girl and then she went and chose the most extrovert partner (besides Nora) there was. And actually liked having her around, as anyone could see when she smiled when Yang said something.

And that's the thing: she didn't want to get really close to anyone, but she was really eager to start a new life. Even though she wasn't really sure about Weiss, she had good teammates and genuinely liked them. She joined Ruby and Yang in their idiocy (love those two) from the start and showed to be as much as a dork as them if she wanted. She was relaxed with them and liked team JNPR too (we never really saw her having conversations with them alone but if she sat with Pyrrha in class it meant she was cool with them too) and, if you read the books, she was really good friends with team CFVY as well.

Still, she was afraid to open up about her past, or even tell them about being a faunus to the point that when she slipped and told them when she was mad at Weiss being an ignorant, she ran away. Because after all, she doesn't think they would like her true self. I mean, we're talking about a girl who ran away from the White Fang because she realized it had turned into basically a terrorist organisation -one she took part of, and left her family behind for. A girl who's suffered from abuse, making her feel like she doesn't deserve anything good. It's crystal clear in the comics (though they're vol 4 content), Blake thinks she is poison and ruins everything good around her. And she felt like she'd just ruined it again. Which is why when she sees that they don't care, and that Weiss has decided she doesn't care either (and to me, that's the beginning of her arc of being an ignorant and daddy's girl to “when I see a racist a floor him and fucky you, dad), Blake almost cries.

Then in vol 2 she is literally obsessed with Torchwick and the White Fang. It's understandable: she used to be part of that organisation (goddammit, her own father created it) and she's had to see how it went from believing in peace and equality to becoming more violent to start working with human crime lords in a way that doesn't seem to benefit the faunus at all? She knew there was something big going on, and even if she had to fight her own past, she was willing to if that's what it took to find out what it was. It's funny because I felt like she was the main protagonist in that volume instead of Ruby and it's true: she was the one calling the shots.

The thing is that she took it too far and led her to basically become obsessed with the White Fang, as I said. To the point that Yang had to almost literally slap some sense into her and tell her to chill and go to sleep. And well, it worked. She took Yang's advice and didn't forget her goals, but took her time instead of destroying herself in the process.

In vol 3, she seems more relaxed than we'd ever seen. She doesn't have to hide who she is to the people she cares about, because she's slowly opening up more and they are understanding. They succesfully stopped a Grimm attack in Vale and got Torchwick in jail, so she felt more confident and hopeful. And they were killing it at the Vytal Festival. So yeah, she deserved to chill a little, enjoy herself, to be a little goofy and eat some tuna with her friends. The girl had earned it.

... but it's volume 3, and if it fucked everyone up, it wasn't going to be any different with Blake. Like, for fuck's sake, give the poor girl a break.

It starts with Yang breaking Mercury's leg and Blake not knowing what to think. Because as she said, the whole situation was so familiar. She'd had a passionate and aggressive yet “kind” partner before, one she thought she loved and trusted, and he slowly became more and more violent, and more abusive, and for a long time, she was blind to it. And then Yang does that. Her passionate and kind of aggressive yet sweet new partner, who she may already had romantic feelings for (even if she hadn't realized yet), who even had the same semblance as Adam. Was it all happening again?

Yang and Adam are, after all, foils of each other in a way. They're really similar. The main difference is how they deal with their suffering: Adam used it as an excuse for hurting others and never really got over it, and Yang took meaning from it instead and found the way to move on. Her heart was never driven by hate; she used her pain to become a better, stronger person. After all, just as Blake said, Adam was Spite, and Yang was Strength.

Blake's reaction was understandable. She was a victim of abuse and the situation reminded her of it. And as I said, it didn't help that Adam and Yang were so similar. But deep down, she knew that Yang wasn't Adam, that there was an explanation, which is why she gave Yang that chance to tell her. And she knew Yang wasn't lying.

And then everything gets REALLY fucked up for everyone. The situation couldn't be worse. Penny has died, Ruby is at Amity Arena, Yang is still at the dorms. Blake and Weiss are fighting together at Beacon against the White Fang and Grimm- and also the robots. And getting separated was honestly the worst thing they could have done, but Blake went after that Beowolf. And then she found Adam.

I don't think I have to even explain how I think she felt at that moment, when she saw her abuser right there in front of her eyes, for the first time since she left him. I think the look in her eyes are enough to express how terrified and conflicted she was. And yet, she is brave enough to fight him. And she loses. And then the guy uses “summon love interest” card and Yang appears, and he sees right through Blake. And the thing she feared the most happens. She's ruined it. She's really ruined it.

Vol 4 & 5 or the Belladonnas, Sun and Ilia.

Volume 4 is, without any doubt, Blake's lowest point, and again, thank God for having her parents and Sun around, because the girl was almost suicidal (most of all, when you read the comics). As I said, she feels like she's poison who ruins everything good around her, and this once, the universe has proved her right. Yang, her lovable partner who had been nothing but sweet, funny and understanding since she'd met her, had lost an arm trying to save her. And she knew that Adam wasn't kidding when he said that he'd kill her. So she left because she'd rather have Yang, Ruby and Weiss hating her than risking their lives. And because she couldn't stand the guilt she felt. The poor girl hated herself for what happened.

It took her while to decide to go back to Menagerie, but she did, and I was honestly thrilled to find out about her family. Like, we knew about Ruby and Yang being sisters and later we also find out more about their family life. We knew about Weiss being the heiress of the SDC, that she came from an important family, and later we know that she has siblings and it's implied that her father is a dickhead. But we didn't know anything about Blake's family life. We didn't know if she had any family at all or if she was an orphan, or if she had been abandoned, or if she was poor or rich. I think a lot of people had those headcannons before vol 4. But nope. Those ideas were obliterated.

Her father had created the White Fang, which explained why Blake always took the whole matter so personal: it was her legacy, and it had been taken from her and became corrupted. Not only wasn't she poor: she was some sort of fucking princess and owned a mansion. And not only wasn't she an orphan or an abandoned kid: out of team RWBY, she was the only one with two functional, loving parents. She clearly felt guilty about leaving them as well but both of her parents forgave her without any doubts, and showed her unconditional love. Kali and Ghira were two understanding and forgiving people who loved their daughter more than anything, and really, it was such a relief.

And I have my issues with the whole Sun thing, most of all after reading Before the Dawn. He followed her without permission, didn't respect her boundaries and she got too aggressive with him sometimes because of that (first slap I get it, the other two no). And I don't think he was completely necessary for the whole Battle of Haven thing. But at the same time, I really think having him around actually helped Blake a lot. Because yes, he didn't understand her many times, but I do think that having him around helped her as much as her parents. He had a big crush on her, and Blake did like him back, but never at the same level. After the time-skip, he still liked her but her crush on him had faded. And he took his time, but he realized. Blake didn't need a boyfriend, she needed a partner, a good friend who opened her eyes and made her understand that not everything that happens is her fault. That pushing people away with the excuse of protecting them wasn't helping anyone: she was just hurting herself and others more. And that's what he became. And I love the fact that he never for a second thought that she owed him anything: he helped her because he wanted, not because he expected anything from Blake. He would literally be disgusted with people who think she did owe him. Sun has his issues but he is an amazing friend and a perfect example of a guy without one bit of toxic masculinity, and his friendship with Blake is just great (can't wait to see more of them. Brotp).

Blake got love, forgiveness, support and friendship from her parents and Sun, but honestly, I think that what finally pushed her to stop running away and put an end to this whole bullshit was Ilia's appearance. Her former best friend up until she left the White Fang (who was, by the way, the person who indirectly gave her the idea of using a bow to pass for human).

She had already seen someone she cared about lose his way and turn into a monster. Blake herself had lost her way for a good while, found it back and then lost it again, and was working to find it once more. Seeing Ilia in that situation too made her brain go like “Okay, there's no way I'm letting you end up like Adam”. Blake knew Ilia wasn't like Adam, she knew it wasn't too late for Ilia yet, just like it hadn't been too late for Blake herself. So she gave Ilia the same things her parents and Sun had given her, the same things team RWBY gave her once too: love, forgiveness and friendship. And by helping Ilia, Blake also helped herself. I've done this before in another post, but I'll do it again; as uncle Iroh said once: sometimes the best way to solve your own problems is to help someone else.

(I'm not going to get too deep about the White Fang; most of all, because I'd need an entire post just about it. I'll just say that even though I thought I liked most of it, I still have a lot of issues with the White Fang thing and I found the end to be a bit disappointing and rushed).

Back with team RWBY, rebuilding relationships and Adam's end.

I'll never stop thinking that the fact that she didn't know what the fuck was going on at Haven but still joined the fight was hilarious, but still, it really made sense. She's done running away from her fears and her past, and one of her fears was that: confronting her team (mostly, Yang, because of the whole Adam thing) after leaving them. And then they all appear right in front of her eyes.

Past Blake would run away again to avoid the consequences. But she'd grown from that. Instead, she dealt with her own problems with Adam and the White Fang, and as soon as she was done, she went right back into the building and start fighting by Weiss and Ruby's side. And after the fight, while she was talking to her family and Ilia, Sun gave her the final push: he encouraged her to go and actually talk to the team, and she did. She went and told them that if they gave her a second chance, she wouldn't leave them again. Because she knows that leaving them had been one of the biggest mistakes of her life, if not the biggest one. She didn't know if they'd forgive her (a part of her probably still thought they wouldn't, and that she probably didn't deserve it anyway) but she still tried. And Ruby and Weiss accept her without questions. And honestly, the face Blake makes when she sees that Yang is also accepting her back and then they all invite her to the group hug still gets me every time.

She was obviously really happy that they'd forgiven her and that they gave her another chance that it's clear she was really trying to make the most of it. She clearly wanted to make up for lost time, and really make up for leaving, showing Ruby a bunch of times that she was always ready to follow her lead, reassuring Weiss after finding the bodies and... the whole thing with Yang. Because she felt guilty. But don't think Blake was feeling guilty because of the arm thing; at least, not anymore. She had reached a point where she understood that Adam's actions weren't her fault. No, she felt guilty because she left.

Yang had told her about Raven, and Blake knew that the poor girl had some serious abandonment issues (actually, Blake and Raven are kind of similar as well but with many differences, like the fact that they both tend to run away when they're scared, but for different reasons; one leaves by putting people in harm's way to protect herself, and the other because she wants to protect people in the wrong way. Eventually both get called out on that behaviour, and one responds with running away again, and the other with learning to not to run and face her fears. Both are foils of each other in Yang's eyes just like Yang and Adam in Blake's. Okay I'll continue). And Blake knew that when she left Yang, she most likely made said issues worse. Which is why she was trying so hard to make sure that Yang knew she wasn't leaving her again. She even actually tells her over and over again. “I'm not leaving”, “I'll hurry back”, “I'm not gonna break my promise, I swear”. Even during the Bees vs Adam fight, she says “I have people who actually care about me and I promised I'd never leave them again, so I'm not dying now”. That states two things:

1) She wants to fucking live, of course.

2) Blake is telling Yang that she is not going to die, not only because, as I said, she is a normal person who wants to live. But because she knows that, even if she would totally do it given the case, Yang doesn't want her to sacrifice herself for her, because then, she'd be leaving her again. She is telling Yang that she's not going to do that, and that they'd leave that place together.

But the thing is, Blake was trying SO hard to be there for her that she made things awkward, making Yang think Blake believed she was fragile and needed protection, which wasn't the case (I already talked about all this and Yang hating people taking care of her she thinks it makes her weak in the Yang analysis). And which is why Blake corrected herself and said “protecting each other”, as equals.

(Before people complain about how I'm talking too much about Yang in here, let's be clear: you can't make an Yang analysis without talking about Blake. Just like you can't make a Jaune analysis without talking about Pyrrha. You can't make a Salem analysis without talking a lot about Ozma. Or a Weiss one and not mention her entire family. Because that's what happens when you write a complex character with varied relationships with different characters - the relationships shape the character into what they are-. And Blake and Yang's arcs is so intertwined with the others' since the Fall of Beacon that you can't make an analysis of one without talking a lot about the other. Thus, I'm analyzing their relationship too, just like I'm talking about Sun, Adam and more. And yes, I'm doing this from the romantic perspective. Because, in case you hadn't noticed, the relationship stopped being platonic since Heroes and Monsters, and has been showing to be more and more romantic as the show goes on. It's been even confirmed to be romantic. So please, anon, I'm talking to you: if you don't like it stop reading lmao).

Now for the Adam part. Man, I can't even talk about this.

People complain that it didn't make sense that Blake seemed full of confidence at Haven when facing him, and then at Argus, she was terrified. Well, let me clear one thing up: the situation was totally different, dude.

At Haven, she was surrounded by people she knew they would help her: Sun, her parents, damn, even team RWBY. She had a whole army supporting her (and even with Sun's help, she wasn't dumb and she knew better than trying to follow him, because she knew him and knew that that's what he wanted). So of course she was going to feel safer then than being totally alone with that guy who had been stalking her across the world like a total creep. Like, thank God Yang appeared and helped her.

Once again, these three are all together again since the Fall of Beacon. This guy, who maimed and traumatized Yang in a way she will most likely never completely get over (as a person with PTSD, I know it gets better, but it will never entirely go away). Blake's ex boyfriend. A person she trusted and loved, and turned out to be completely different than he made her believe.

Blake's done with running away from him. And she's done with being afraid, because she is. But even though she's afraid, I love how during the entire fight, he tried to get in her head but Blake didn't let him. Because she was done with that. He had abused her, tried to kill her and the people she loved, took her innocence and confidence, even stole her own legacy. And she's not letting him do that again. Not now, and nevermore.

Sorry, I had to.

Blake and Yang give him multiple opportunities to leave. He didn't. We know how that ended for him. And even after that, Blake feels terrible about having to take his life, and feels guilty about it, or felt like she'd ruined the whole “let's steal an airship” plan. But luckily, she had all of her friends reassuring her and being completely understanding and loving, and honestly, I'll say it a million times: that scene between Ruby, Blake and Yang is one of my favorites.

Volume 7

We don't see much Blake during volume 7, to be honest. Yes, we get that great moment with Weiss and Jacques (fuck you). We get to see how she really hasn't forgotten about the whole Adam thing, and how killing him was haunting her in a way. We got to see her and Yang being the ones who reached out for Robyn (people with brains who don't try to take her out and try to make her and the HH allies instead. THANK YOU). We got to see her and Yang kicking some ass in the RWBY vs Ace Ops fight. And of course, we get confirmation (we already knew, but some people are blind and needed more. Some people won't understand until they kiss) of Bumbleby going the romantic way. And I liked that.

But neither Blake nor Yang had much of an individual arc or important stuff to do last volume (and I really hope that changes in volume 8). That annoyed me. But at the same time, I remember that they hadn't had a break since vol 3; Blake had never had one, actually, because every volume found the way to emotionally fuck her up in some way. And after losing limbs, being stabbed, having to deal with terrorists, with bandits, with terrible moms, with abandonment issues, with PTSD and depression, with an abusive exboyfriend they even had to end up killing to survive... I was kind of fine with both of them getting an “easy” volume where they didn't have to deal with big emotional arcs like that, and were just chilling and enjoying themselves for a little while. Still, I want them to be more important, both as a couple and individually, next volume.

Conclussion

As I said, Blake is my favorite character. She is a very flawed person who learns about her flaws and works hard to be better. She is incredibly brave, by far, the bravest character in the series, who overcomes her fears and her abuse and moves forward. Blake's arc, besides taking back her legacy and fighting for equality, is about her finally understanding that she's not to blame for others' actions, that she isn't poison. She learns to finally stop running from her fears and her guilt, to stop pushing others away, and realize that she deserves a second chance, that deserves forgiveness and love and friendship, and to be happy. Blake's entire personal journey is about her finding her path, about overcoming her abuse and trauma, and about learning to love herself. And I love it. I love her.

[jaskiersvalley]

Ummmm so I am IN LOVE with your Geralt whump and it’s literally giving me life during this pandemic so like THANK YOU.

I come bearing more Geralt whump for you! Along with a side of angry Jaskier, some comfort and some fluff to boot. Hope you’re keeping safe and well in this pandemic!

Something wasn’t right about the contract. There shouldn’t have been a kikimora so deep into inhabited lands. For one, there weren’t any sufficiently murky bogs for the creature to actually live in. Then there was the issue of nobody having actually borne witness to it or encountered a tragedy with it. Not ever sheep were going missing. But, the advert was there on the noticeboard, calling for a witcher to deal with the creature. Money was low, Geralt and Jaskier couldn’t afford to be picky so the notice was plucked off the board and they made their way to the castle that had put out the contract.

There was far too much excitement in the courtyard at their approach. In fact, everyone seemed to spring into action as they were shown to the Great Hall.

“Witcher!” The count looked so pleased, he even smiled at Geralt. “We have a kikimora for you to kill. Do it well and we’ll even double the original pay.”

The amount of coin in question was more than Geralt would usually earn in half a year. All that for one single kikimora. Even more unusual, he and Jaskier were given a room, a comfortable one at that. They were to rest up and then go to the inner ward in the morning. The one request was that Geralt be ready to hunt straight from the meeting.

It was one of the best nights of sleep Geralt had ever had. The niggling feeling of something being off was so easy to ignore when Jaskier looked so happy. Food, bath, comfort as they both needed and rarely got to indulge in. In the morning, a servant intercepted them, apologetic as Geralt had ever seen anyone around a witcher and asked for Jaskier to accompany him.

“You’ve seen a kikimora a thousand times before, go,” Geralt said, urging Jaskier to go to his fans. A little longer in the laps of luxury while Geralt saw to the kikimora would be good for him. And at least he would be safe in the castle.

He was led to the doors to the inner ward and gestured through. Stepping out into daylight, the doors clanged shut behind him and he was out on the grounds, alone.

Meanwhile, Jaskier had been led through the castle, higher up and to the inner ramparts. They were crowded with nobility and rich merchants, all peering into the inner ward with excitement. A cheer went up and Jaskier was shown to a gap he could see from. Geralt had stepped into what could only be described as an arena from where Jaskier stood. It had been cleared of everything, a perfect battle ground. With a creak, the metal grates of a gate opened up at the far end of the inner ward and Jaskier watched as a kikimora lumbered out. He didn’t have to be a monster expert to know it was sickly, dried out and hungry. Obviously it had been kept in appalling conditions, for the sole purpose of entertainment for the upper echelons.

There was no choice for Geralt. It was kill or be killed. He draw a sword and walked up to the hissing, swaying creature. Jaskier knew Geralt, knew that there was going to be no theatrics, no show. In one deft step to the side and swing of his sword, the kikimora fell to the ground, head almost completely severed.

All the cheering stopped. The show and entertainment that had been anticipated was just a dream. Slowly, the ‘boos’ started and built into a raging, baying howl. They were going to have to leave and quickly. Jaskier pushed his way through the angry crowd and hurried back to their room, intent on packing up as hurriedly as he could. By the time Geralt was back, everything would be ready for travel.

It took longer for Geralt to return than anticipated and Jaskier was getting impatient. Finally, the door clicked quietly and Geralt stepped through, head bowed. A pouch of coin was thrown onto the bed without a word.

“Geralt!” Jaskier almost sighed his name in relief at seeing him. Silver hair hung in Geralt’s face but, as he moved, Jaskier swore he caught sight of eyes that weren’t their usual white and gold. It made no sense, there had been no need to take potions, especially not something like cat. In fact, Jaskier was quite sure they were low on potions and possibly didn’t even have any. “Geralt?”

When there was no response to his question, Jaskier reached out and gripped Geralt by the chin, turning his face to look at him. There were no potions at work and Jaskier gasped, hand reaching up to brush over the swollen, bruised skin. Geralt’s eye was red with burst vessels from where something had struck him.

“What the hell happened?” Jaskier asked, horrified. The kikimora hadn’t put up a fight, hadn’t even got beyond looking funny at Geralt before it died.

“Doesn’t matter. Got paid.” Geralt tried to step around Jaskier, doing his best to hide a limp. “Let’s go.”

There was no way they were going anywhere when Geralt was in such a state. Hands on hips, Jaskier pressed his lips into a firm line and watched as Geralt reached for a bag and his breath caught before he pushed through the pain.

“Put that down.” When Geralt refused to listen, Jaskier marched up to him. “You put that down this instant, get out of your armour and let me take a look. I need an inventory before I take me next step.”

In testament either to how much Geralt trusted him or how badly he was hurting, Geralt let the bag drop from his shoulder and let Jaskier help him out of his armour. Bruises, welts, skin split under strikes began to reveal themselves and Jaskier’s hands shook with rage.

“Fucking entitled bastards,” he cursed. A hand swept over bruised, likely cracked ribs. It looked like somehow had take a metal chain to Geralt and tried to whip it around him. “They’ll be so sorry they tried this ploy.”

He struggled to imagine what could have happened once he left. Whether the angry mob had swarmed the inner ward to take their fury out on Geralt. Or maybe Geralt had been summoned to the Great Hall and a select few of the count’s inner circle had been granted the alleged privilege. Though that would mean Geralt hadn’t fought back. Then again, this was Geralt, of course he wouldn’t have fought back. Probably had convinced himself he deserved it too.

Down to his smalls, Geralt let Jaskier do as he pleased, too tired to protest anything. Even when Jaskier gently bullied him into bed and told him to rest, meditate and take it easy.

“I’ll be back soon,” he promised. It wasn’t often that Jaskier openly wore a weapon but he pulled his sword from his pack and strapped it against his hip. Marching out, Jaskier set off on a warpath.

In less time than anticipated, he was back and was pleasantly surprised to see Geralt was exactly where he left him, eyes closed and seemingly at peace. It was all a ploy, Jaskier knew he wouldn’t relax, not when alone in a castle that hurt him so badly.

“We have three days here, everything is at our disposal. Nobody will bother us. Food, bath, creature comforts, I talk to someone and it will happen.”

Gingerly, Jaskier sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked through Geralt’s hair, holding back a wince when his eyes opened. One was still a deep, blood red, likely would be for a couple of days before Geralt healed. It was just as well they had a few days in a protected space. If the masses saw Geralt as he was, no doubt there would be more tall tales about witchers.

Softly, Jaskier began to hum, lulling Geralt to sleep.

“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you,” he promised, one hand on his sword’s hilt, the other in Geralt’s hair. The soft murmur Jaskier got in return could have been a ‘thanks’ or a hum of sceptical amusement, it didn’t matter. What was important was that Geralt got his rest and dignity.

[trashcatsnark]

I'm glad you liked my AU, I was kinda nervous that I'm bothering you ':D 1. V is of course allowed to stay with the Aldecaldos with no problems, since they're already a part of the family, but Johnny is only allowed to stay if he 1. will work on jobs with them to earn his keep 2. will do different chores around the camp 3. will behave; he starts a fight or something like that and he's out. Johnny is determined to be on his best behavior so that he's allowed to stay and look after V. After what they've been through together, he couldn't bear to be split from them again, especially not over something so stupid like starting a brawl. 2. He doesn't really socialise much, he's too focused on V. Aldecaldos tolerate him, but he can feel that they are a bit uneasy around him, and he can't really blame them, he's a man who died 50 years ago and was brought back to life, not exactly something you see every day (though I'd imagine they'd warm up to eachother after a post-gig bonfire, with Johnny showing off his guitar chops). 3. Johnny and V live in the same van, of course. Graciously donated by the Aldecaldos, it's their new home and mode of transport when the caravan moves. It's a bit small, but it's managable and slowly starts to fill out with different trinkets, items, postcards and photos from their travels. They usually sit on the steps in the mornings and sometimes look at the starry sky on the roof in the evenings. 4. If V feels good enough to leave the van, Johnny is always near, like a shadow. Just a local oddity, a merc who died and came back to life twice and a world-famous terrorist rockerboy that now watches over them in pretty much complete silence and a permanent scowl on his face, nbd. 5. Johnny usually keeps his hair tied, partially because it's more practical and he hates having a swety neck, and partially because it fucks with his facial features and he's harder to recognise by bystanders like cashiers. 6. V is in no condition to drive, so Johnn usually does it when the caravan has to move. V either chats with him to keep him company, reads him books or screamsheets out loud or does crossword puzzles with him. 7. Johnny sometimes missess the fact that he can no longer feel what V is feeling, mostly because it would make the whole "caretaking" thing much easier for him, just letting him know what V needs without words. Now he actually has to guess or ask, and he doesn't know which is harder. He looks at V and feels like he should be able to do more for them, but he has no idea what that more would actually be.

Firstly, never worry about bothering, I absolutely adore how many asks and messages I’ve been getting lately! I may be slow to reply sometimes but I’m honestly just am really happy to see people wanting to read my dumbass replies, if anything I worry about giving bad replies since I am the “queen of fuckups” as Johnny has so elegantly dubbed me and my V before. 

Ahhhh, I love it so much, firstly I love bitchface Johnny always lurking over V because he’s a protective heathen. V just has to be like, yeah, no he’s really a sweetie though...well, okay no he’s kinda an asshole, but like he’s my asshole so it’s fine.  And the rule of Johnny, please behave, and he’d try so hard but you know there’s a part of him that’s always like that son of a bitch looked at V the wrong way and i want to punch him but god damn it, i cannot and will sit here consumed with internal rage for the rest of the night 

Also ponytail Johnny owns my whole soul. my V wakes up to him in sweatpants and hair in a ponytail once and is like shit I died and gone to heaven. I like to imagine if anyone still is ever like wait... “are you Johnny Silverhand?” he just gives a completely vague non-committal response of like “who knows.” (I also love ideas of him being like Tony Hawk in that he’s never fully recognized or people assuming he’s some fanatic who just runs around dressed like Johnny Silverhand like Elvis Imposters or him more often being confused for Keanu Reeves since he exists in universe) 

Johnny pulling a here’s Wonderwall at the campfire just for the joke of it, sometimes when he’s in a really good mood he’ll take requests (tho mostly just V’s, if anyone really for sure wants to hear him play something specific they know to ask V to ask for it) 

Living in a van, I imagine it majorllllly reminds Johnny of band days, touring, he’ll tell V all his stories of living in a van with Kerry, Henry, Denny, and Nancy for months at time. Having to listen to Henry and Denny fight the entire damn time, nearly puking when they’d had to listen to the two make up. Nancy losing her mind trying to reign in her feral children of bandmates, at times just choosing to drive instead of stay in the bus because you can handle so much. Kerry constantly stealing Johnny’s pants. Johnny bringing people back to the bus and later getting yelled at because he inevitably left...evidence of it on something that didn’t belong to him. (sometimes accidentally and other times, well, Kerry deserved it) Having to share a bathroom with them all and threatening to piss on Kerry’s bed if he didn’t hurry it the fuck up.  He has a billion stories, that he knows V already knows, but they still wanna hear em, so why not. 

I also fucking live for Johnny and V just hating the fact they aren’t linked the way they were before. They actually have to talk, god the horror. I definitely imagine  my Johnny and V following the separation occasionally find themselves having to tell the other person “we have to use our big girl/boy/person words, now” They’ll catch the other staring off into the distance and be like “you just were trying to talk to me through your mind rn werent you?” or V will be thinking things to Johnny and be like “why are you ignoring me???? wAIT I HAVE TO TALK” They feel this distance that they never knew existed before. 

I know in your AU V probably wouldn’t be up for it, but when they would be or any V and Johnny with nomads verse;  part of me feels like Johnny would be torn on wanting to pilot the Basilisk with V. Because half of him is worried about the claustrophobia of it, he hates cramped dark, closed in places. But fuck fuck fuck, he wants that neurological link with V. He wants it. And if they do it, he’ll feel so at peace that he finally has his person back in the deepest sense of it, that he forgets all about being stuck in that coffin.  

I also majorly think, while not as severe as the one between the twins in the beat on the brat fights; they don’t wanna be the same person. But they do want some form of neural synchronization implants. I imagine they might have something where they can read each others minds, it do be the future, just something that lets them always feel connected. Vik looks at them like they’re stupid, you fought to be separated and now you just wanna climb back into each other’s head. 

[tenmillionwhumperflies]

Cloudwalker Series Part 24

Alright, more Avizon backstory and some Ro whump. I hope I’ve written this alright ^^’

Warnings: Grieving characters, healing wounds, possessive whumper, unconscious characters, head injury, stab wounds.

Masterlist Here

Approx WC: 2000

Taglist: @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi

Orrien knew Avizon had been lost in thought when he’d left him to check on the birds. That was nothing new, he often would zone out so Orrien left him to his peace. He was a grown man, Orrien couldn't always butt in like he did when Avizon was younger. However when he came back downstairs from finding Blue and Dyan fast asleep to see him staring blankly at his hand with tears slipping down his cheek, he knew Avizon was having a very bad day. His grief for Ro was making itself known more so than usual.

Avizon stood up quickly and made his way out of the cottage. "Be careful!" he called after him. Orrien knew better than pursuing him. He watched him head over to the stables and a few minutes later return with Secret. Though he’d put her reins on, he hadn’t brought a saddle. He used a fence to get onto her back and he set her off walking. 

“Avizon?” he said softly. “Would you like to talk to me?”

It was enough to break him out of his trance. He shook his head and wiped his eye. “I… I need to go. I need to ride somewhere and clear my thoughts.”

(Flashback Continued)

Orrien sighed, feeling his little dragon biting his earlobe. Orrien brought a hand up to his ear and let the enchanted metal climb on. “I can’t stop him every time he does something he shouldn’t, Mouse. He can take care of himself…”

Orrien sat at the table, letting Mouse weave through his fingers, making loops for them to crawl through and letting them nibble on his ring. It was a nicer image to think about than the memories that ran through his mind...

Sleeping spells never worked on Avizon for long. But Orrien was glad he held on long enough to wake in Ro’s arms, nestled in pillows, to be safe. But Orrien had only just put his hands on Avizon's chest to heal him. Avizon cried out when the pain got to him again. He tried to get up, to get away from it, but Ro managed to hug him and hold him still. Orrien moved his hands from his chest to his back and managed to keep him there. 

Avizon sobbed against him as Orrien worked. He pushed more and more healing magic into him, hoping he’d have enough in him. Orrien’s magic didn’t cause the pain, it was the muscles moving, the skin sealing, bones fusing. There was so much pain that came with healing quickly. “Shhh. I know, lad, I know… It’ll be over soon,” he soothed.

Ro rubbed Avizon’s back while he held him, stroking the back of his head, mumbling softly into his ear. Ro looked up at Orrien with worried eyes. Orrien was glad to see that Avizon had someone to hold, to trust in awful times like this. They loved each other dearly and it gave Avizon a reason to fight and survive. Ro struggled to restrain his weak frame when Orrien set his dislocated shoulder. It drew a hoarse cry from him that squeezed at his heart. He didn’t want to have to hurt him so much, but magic was the only way to heal these wounds. 

Avizon couldn’t stop himself from clawing at Ro’s back when he held him, sobbing, screaming, choking because he couldn’t get enough breath. The begging for mercy started before Avizon could stop it and he wouldn’t stop. Orrien tried to block it out but his pleas hit him hard. He took his hands away, letting Ro cradle him and stroke his hair, trying to get him to draw deep breaths. He wheezed for a moment without Orrien pumping him full of magic and adjusting broken bones and flesh. Avizon sobbed into Ro’s shoulder, clinging to him with white knuckles.

“Father, please, give him some time. This is too much for him!” Ro pleaded.

Orrien grimaced, "Stopping will make the last few breakages fuse together incorrectly. I know it’s awful, but I have to keep going. Get him to drink some herb water if you can.“

"Deep breaths, Avizon, we need to get these healed right. Deep breaths."

Ro quickly brought the bottle to Avizon’s bluish lips with a shaking hand. “Drink, please. Find the strength to drink.”

Orrien paused for a few seconds, only while Avizon drank so he didn’t choke himself, but then he was off again, tearing a raw scream from Avizon’s throat as the bones in his ribs fused together again. 

Avizon was too used to having to breathe through the pain. He managed deep but shaky breaths and tried to focus on holding Ro. He whimpered when Orrien's hand finally came away. He shrunk back down into Ro's arms. He looked so small and broken, but Orrien had learned long ago not to feel guilty for it. Despite it all, he was helping him.

"I swear I'll kill her for this one day," Ro ground out.

"T.there are... fates worse than death," Avizon mumbled. Orrien looked at him sadly. He should know, he was living one and Orrien pitied him greatly. He wished there was more he could do to keep him safe. "But I'd be happy t.to just… leave," Avizon whispered. "I just want to get far away…"

Ro kissed the side of his head. "Soon, love. Promise. We just need an opening. I will take you away from here soon."

"Provided we don't get hunted down…"

Orrien was determined to help them escape. He didn't care what it cost him. His son and his apprentice deserved to be happy and safe. 

Avizon probably knew better, he knew that the princess and her parents could do whatever they wanted. Orrien couldn’t protect him. No one could. But every time they hurt him, Orrien saw the fire in Avizon's eyes grow. Every day, he got closer to snapping. If he didn’t get out of this nightmarish place soon, then either he was going to tear this place to shreds or he was going to break. Orrien had to get him out before then.

Orrien offered him more herb water and helped him out of his clothes before wrapping him up in a blanket.

"You need to rest, lad. I will not let anyone disturb you," Orrien promised.

“Two fucking chickens is not payment for a man that’s as wonderful as him. How can that hold? Father, it just isn’t fair.”

Orrien sat beside Avizon’s sleeping body, guarding him, watching him closely while Ro lay beside him, holding him close, helping him to drink more.

“This can’t continue,” Ro mumbled. “It’s just not fair. He’s meant to be here to protect them, how can they hurt him like this? How can they expect him to just stay in the castle and accept this level of pain so often?”

“Because they are in charge. Power is a dangerous thing, Ro, make no mistake. Besides, unfortunately he is technically theirs. They bought him. There's nothing we can do about that."

The door opened without anyone knocking and Orrien bolted up to his feet. His eyes grew wide. “Your majesty,” he bowed.

King Halve was not a small man. He was big, burly, and had an unkempt face for a king. It was greasy, large, and his large chin and jaw made him look all the more intimidating. He was dressed in the finest clothes, with large heavy rings adorning his fat fingers. Ro hid his hatred well behind false respect.

Ro reluctantly climbed off the bed, peeling himself away from Avizon and kneeled at the King's feet.

Ro didn't move from the bed as he was helping Avizon to drink but he bowed his head. "Your majesty," he answered, his voice cold and dead.

"Here," Halve ordered him, narrowing his eyes now. 

Orrien's stomach twisted in dread. Avizon groaned in his sleep, as if he knew what was going to happen.

"Better. Back where you belong." He suddenly grabbed Ro by the hair and hurled him up, throwing him into the wall and forcing his head up. Orrien stepped forward but managed to catch himself. As much as he wanted to rip his heart out while it still beat for hurting his son, he couldn't. He could only watch. The consequences over his head were too great. He had to wait, bide his time until they could escape.

Orrien clenched his fists. Ro was so much more than that, so much more than the king would have them believe. 

Ro hissed in pain, but he fought the urge to bring his hands up to try to get him off.

"It seems you think that you get an opinion on how things are run in my abode?" Halve snarled.

Ro struggled not to clench his jaw. "No, your majesty."

"That's right, because what are you?"

"A lowly soldier, your majesty."

Orrien knew Ro knew it wasn't the right answer, he knew saying it would lead to pain and consequences but in that moment, he just didn't seem to care. Orrien's worry for his son spiked. It was right to.

The King's grip increased as he slammed Ro's head off the wall. Orrien winced on Ro's behalf.

"And what is he?" he said, pointing to Avizon's weak form.

"He's suffering. He was dying after the princesses most recent punishment. A punishment he received because we informed you of the stab wound he had received."

Another slam into the wall. "I don't care! What is he?!"

Ro probably had so many answers in the tip of his tongue but none of them were the answer the king wanted. Orrien hated this. Having to watch his own son suffer so. He felt like a failure of a father. He should have been able to protect him. Why couldn’t he do anything?!

Another slam, hard enough to draw a hiss from the back of Ro's throat.

Orrien flinched badly but looked away, his body tense. He was the castle's sorcerer, a massive defense they relied upon, yet he was powerless to stop it, to stop him hurting his own son.

The king suddenly punched Ro in the gut, or so Orrien thought until he heard Ro cry out. 

"He is MINE. And so are you, my pretty little soldier boy. I expect to see you tonight. Your loose tongue has earned your far more punishment than this." Orrien felt sick to the stomach at his words, knowing his only son, the joy of his life would have to willingly go and suffer more.

But then he saw it, the small hilt protruding from his body, the knife that was buried in his side. Orrien struggled to hold back the magic that sprung to his hands on instinct. This wasn't right! Why couldn't he do anything?!

“Ro!“ he cried.

The king hit his head off the wall behind him for a fifth time, and that was enough to steal away his consciousness. He slid down the wall and slumped on the floor.

Ro wheezed as the knife was yanked out of his body. Tears obscured his vision.

"Y.yes, your majesty," he gulped.

The king turned to look at Orrien's pale face, the horror etched into his features. "Teach your son, scum, or I will do it for you."

Orrien bit back a storm of screams and spells he longed to use on the man. "Yes, your majesty, please forgive my incompetence."

The king scoffed. "Had he not said such things, I would have come here to offer help. Remind him of that when he wakes, will you?"

And just like that he was gone, finally allowing Orrien to rush to his boy, to save him.

Don't lie to my face, scum, Orrien thought but he kept those thoughts to himself.

"Yes, your majesty."

[wolfcrunch]

Endeavor?? Best written character?? you have to be fucking with me (but honestly why do you think that?)

he’s not the best written, but one of - I’d absolutely have to put Endeavor in the Top 10 out of all the current characters. some might even argue he’d be Top 5, but I’d leave that to personal interpretation.

Now before I go into it, I’m gonna say this so its loud and clear - Endeavor’s actions in no shape or form were right. When I’m talking about why I think he is one of Horikoshi’s best written characters, I’m not forgetting all the abuse he put his family through, because it would make me a hypocrite if I didn’t acknowledge his character beforehand.

Endeavor, when he is first introduced to the series, is shown as this…arrogant, hot-headed, rude hero who seems to only really be in it for the position. To show people that he holds a lot of power. To show people that he is one of the strongest there is out there. He is shown as intimidating - given the flames that often surround his face and shoulders as a design choice. He seems to have no need for fan service, and even seems to despise it.

Endeavor seems to only want to fight. Like he is there for the fame.

We see how much he has harmed and damaged his family multiple times throughout the series - he physically hurt his children and wife, as well as emotionally damaging her until she snapped, hurting their youngest son. Endeavor made his children suffer through a childhood of pain - all for a goal that they seemed to have no want to fulfilling for him. All so Endeavor would feel the satisfaction of taking down All Might from the number 1 position.

Except that never happens. All Might fights All For One, and is forced to retire, now rendered quirkless. Endeavor never gets that satisfaction from taking his rival down.

He’s now forced to take the number 1 position, and in turn is forced to face what he has done to his own family, finally being able to see now that he no longer is blindsided by All Might. He’s forced to see the damage that he himself has cause, the pain and suffering and hardships he has brought among them. He has no choice but to face it.

Now in a lot of media - at least, media I have read that have a somewhat similar character, characters like this tend to follow the same two trends.

You have the character that sticks to their old ways, or gets worse, or is killed off before any further character development really has the chance to happen.

You have the character who gets better or redeemed, but this isn’t shown within the series itself, and you never really see why or how they could be forgiven. Their personal journey is never shown.

With Endeavor, however…it deviates. You get this awful character who has done awful things…he sees his actions. He sees what he’s done. His family is very much the evidence of that…and he decides that he wants to change.

And we, as readers, get to see that change slowly unfold. And it isn’t just about what he wishes to do for his family, either.

We see it begin during the Provisional License Exam, he comes to see how Shouto does, but during that time, he sits down with All Might of all people.

All Might, the very hero he had fought to overtake, but just never could on terms of his own strength.

He sits down with All Might, the Symbol of Peace, and asks exactly what that means. For someone like Endeavor, to sit down and ask for advice?

It shows he wishes to improve as a hero, as well. And I think this is very important, because Endeavor is such a prideful, full-of-himself hero at the start. Yet here he is, now number 1 (although unofficially at that time), asking just what it means to be that hero. Just what it means to…take on his huge mantle that All Might has left behind. Boots that, even now, Endeavor can’t fill.

And he starts to change. And it isn’t hidden behind us going to the main characters - we are given an opportunity to experience for ourselves how Endeavor has started down this new path. He is given part of the spotlight.

We see how his mind lingers on what he’s done, and how he knows he can’t be forgiven. He openly admits that he doesn’t deserve the forgiveness of his family, he knows it is the last thing they should be giving him. He doesn’t want their forgiveness, really, and he isn’t going to force it from them. 

Endeavor is trying to…atone for his sins, I suppose, by doing all that he can now, in the moment. Now, this can never erase the past, but the fact that a character like this has acknowledged it as such and doesn’t expect his family, his children to forgive him is a big step for his character, because it goes against the Endeavor we knew at the start of the series.

And his children’s reactions make it even moreso, as we see three very different reactions.

Fuyumi wishes to be able to have a full family.

Natsuo hates Endeavor, especially considering whatever happened to Touya, and places the blame fully on Endeavor.

Shouto, who Endeavor seems to be reaching out to the most, sees him as two different people. He acknowledges that while Endeavor is a good hero…Enji is not a good father.

Endeavor doesn’t try to convince them. He doesn’t try to force them to see him as a good person. He accepts it, and wishes for them to watch him improve.

He goes even further - even after Natsuo’s several confrontations with Endeavor, even after the outright disaster any family meal he has with them seems…he decides to release any rein he has left on them.

And despite all of this - despite this seeming to paint Endeavor in a better light, Horikoshi never lets us forget what he’s done himself. He writes the Todoroki children’s reactions in a realistic manner. He constantly calls back, or flashbacks to Endeavor’s previous handling and “training” of his children. He never lets us forget what this Endeavor did in the past, because no matter how much he changes the way he handles everything, they are the same person.

Horikoshi doesn’t want us to outright forgive Endeavor, because he acknowledges that its something he doesn’t deserve. That its something he can’t just have - Endeavor has to earn it.

He’s set Endeavor up in such a way with the story that we just know this is going to backfire, too. Very likely at the expense of what happened to his oldest child, and - if the theory is true - what is now Touya’s current identity. Endeavor has been set up, taking this mantle much too big from All Might, and he has been set up for an eventual failure. To eventually have a downfall, to possibly have his crimes exposed.

And it will be one of the very things that helps crumble civilians already shaky fate in heroes. It will inevitably show Endeavor in his “true colours” despite how he’s come to try and make himself better for his and his family’s sake. It will set Endeavor, himself back, depending on what is revealed, and it will possibly be something that ruins him.

It will turn the tables, and everything Endeavor has tried to move past will come rushing back, it will bubble over, and no matter how much he tries to lessen the damage, there is only so much he can do. He will finally experience just what he’s put his family through, and it will be well deserved.

I don’t think Endeavor is one of the best written characters because of his change of heart, not because he’s now tried to change himself, because that can never take away what he’s already done. I think he’s one of the best written characters because of the way Horikoshi has woven his character and his actions into the story, and how it has slowly been building up, piece by piece, for the inevitable to happen. Because Endeavor’s past will come back to bite him in the ass - it’s just a matter of how, when and who. It’s just a matter of how much he can take.

Because he won’t get away freely from the past.

You don’t have to like a character to acknowledge that they’re well written, hell you can even hate him and its completely understandable. But Horikoshi has handled his character in such a different light than to what I see happen with these character types. And I cannot wait to see how Horikoshi further pushes him.

Endeavor has been set up to fall down from grace…and that is so, so much more satisfying than killing him off outright, or keeping him the same.

[lavendertwilight89]

InuxKag Week 2020--Day 5 Instinct

Tell me Again

AU Themed! Rated T (adult-situation and themes are hinted and spoke about not acted upon)

@inukag-week​ @superpixie42 @lemonlushff @dangerouspompadour @keichanz @cstormsinukagblog @willowandfog @inuyashaloverforever @xfangheartx @clearwillow  @umacaking @bluejay785 @smmahamazing @murdergiraffe @faulkner-blog @sapphirestarxx @swaggingtomboy @sarah-writes-stories @hnnwnchstr @wolverine1092

He had no idea how much time had actually passed since he was almost killed by his mother’s people. Something happened to him that day. Something dreadful and terrible. In his transformation, he killed all the villagers. He slaughtered them without regret or remorse. He killed aimlessly until his brother finally found him and knocked sense into him. He wasn’t even sure how long had had been in such a mindless killing state. He wasn’t taken down in the best way, but not the worst either. He could have been killed. Honestly, he didn’t care one way or the other at that point. He knew he really disappointed his mother—the only woman who would ever love him for the monster that he was.

He was trapped in his brother’s prison after that; he wasn’t even sure how long he’d been there before he re-woke in his heightened awareness state. Each time Sesshomaru got close, he felt his control slipping, sounds rolling out of his throat from his chest—purely instinctual things he had no understanding of—no control of. He couldn’t control himself; even when he was alone, that underlying feeling of control was so far out of reach. 

His mother’s people treated him like a freak, an outcast, a nothing. They were right. Beyond right. His mother, Kami rest her soul, had been wrong about him. Even though Sesshomaru hadn’t been a part of his life until he found him killing anything and everything that moved, even he didn’t deserve the attacks and snarls that were pointed at him.

He had met Sesshomaru maybe twice while his mother was alive. He was silent, stoic towards them. His mother was nothing but kind to him, offering him lodging, food, care. Sesshomaru always passed on the offer and insulted her blood. It pissed Inuyasha off but she always settled him down—she knew Sesshomaru didn’t care for humans. She knew deep down he resented her for their father leaving his own mother, InuKimi. She never faulted him for his anger or coldness and warned Inuyasha to do the same.

“Mother, why does he bother to come around?” Inuyasha asked one day while they sat in the palace garden.

“While he says he does not care about us, he does. I believe he wishes to honor your father and protect his pack,” Izayoi said as she brushed through his hair gently.

“Why?”

“His father was everything to him; he wants to follow in his footsteps as Lord of the West.”

“But mother—I don’t understand.”

“You will when you’re older, my love. You will learn what pack is.”

It had to have been at least hundreds of years since that conversation he shared with his mother. Sesshomaru had aged in the time since he found Inuyasha. Not in the, he’s old and wrinkly, just older, like a mature full-grown demon. Inuyasha hadn’t actually seen himself in a mirror in ages—but he knew he was past his lanky awkward stage. He’d finally stopped trying to escape; the only time he fought to try to be released was when his brother would show up. Something about seeing him made him angry, defensive. He still had no idea what his mother meant by pack or why the bastard even gave a damn. 

While he had only met Sesshomaru twice, while his mother said to trust his brother—he didn’t. He couldn’t. Not after he let his mother die. 

It didn’t matter if he tried to speak to him with words or in inuyoukai. He didn’t understand how he knew what the fuck he was saying, but he was able to reply. It didn’t matter that he seemed like he was trying to help him. Bottom line came out to he literally couldn’t trust him. Something deep inside forbade it. The voice demanded he attack. Snarl. Defend.

Recently the ass had the stupid toad start bringing in women to bring him food. Deep down he swore the bastard was trying to poison him. While he felt like it would be illogical in one part of his mind, the baser more powerful part wouldn’t eat for days to be safe.

When the women started showing up, they would sit before him. Some looked nervous, some looked bored. They were demon, half, even humans. Never the same one twice. He wasn’t sure what Sesshomaru was planning but whatever it was, it was pissing him off more and more to where his bindings were beginning to crack under his demonic aura. 

He laughed to himself when at night he finally tore them off and ran. Running as fast as he could, flying through the night sky. He knew he should have killed Sesshomaru but his desire and need to be free of that stiff’s castle was far greater. Hearing a loud roar in the distance, Inuyasha laughed menacingly as he knew he would likely get his hands dirty again and his instincts couldn’t wait.

 After running for a couple of moon cycles, he finally felt a pull from a village. Something he couldn’t explain—something or someone was calling him. The call stopped short inside the forest. It just became a solid humming—it was so familiar. For the first time in however long he had been alive since his mother had died, he felt calm. The fire that had burned furiously finally seemed to simmer. It was like he wasn’t under someone’s else control. 

He stopped running through the trees and finally looked down to where he could finally see where the melodic tune was coming from—a girl.

She was young. Dressed in miko garbs. Wavy dark hair. Bright sapphire eyes. A soft complexion and looked overall peaceful. The song she hummed made his chest rumble with pleasure. 

“You know, you can join me if you want,” her cheery voice called. The sounds emerging from his chest stopped and he froze. He glared and started to growl—she was a priestess. Priestesses were a danger to someone like him—she would purify him and not think twice.

He jumped down on top of her body, trapping her beneath him, snarling in her face but she didn’t move to her bow or arrows. She stayed still and gazed upon him in wonder. There wasn’t a trace of fear or anger in her scent at all… it was almost like—what the fuck—arousal? It made him stiff hard but his instincts were still warring between fucking the helpless bitch into submission or killing her on the spot because she was going to kill them

“Easy now, I’m not gonna hurt you,” she soothed. He blinked not once but twice. 

“Your eyes… they’re golden now?” she asked softly. He pulled back off of her, suddenly able to think actual coherent thoughts racing through his brain but only continued to growl at the young woman. She sat up slowly still smiling at him.

“Are you hungry?” she said reaching into her sleeve and pulling out a piece of dried meat. He snapped his teeth and roared trying to scare her off. How dare she try to poison him!

“Kagome!!!!” he heard another young demon yell. A fox by the smell of it. A male. Lunch…

“Shippo, stay where you are,” she raised her hand back to where the kit had landed behind her.

“No! I need to protect you! He’s locked in a demon state! His instincts are controlling him! You’re a priestess! You’ll be killed!!!”

“Shhhh, there’s nothing to protect me from. He’s ok. He’s just scared. He wants to make sure I’m trustworthy, right?” her blue eyes sparkled and her smile radiated true beauty… Wow. He felt his heart hammering in his chest.

“Sister!!!” he heard another out of breath female approaching quickly.

The girl named Kagome turned her head and then looked to him panicked, “Go! You have to go now!!” She threw the food to land by him and stood shooing the young kit away as well as she grabbed her bow, arrows, and basket running towards the other girl. 

He jumped into a tree and saw the young fox in another near him and watched as the priestess ran towards the village.

“Kikyo!”

“Kagome! Are you alright?! I could sense a dark aura! Where is it?!” the other paler woman spoke hastily.

“It’s ok Kikyo he uhhhhh… ran! I was able to scare him off,” she pacified. Inuyasha could smell the hefty lie rolling off her body along with her heavy anxiety. Why was she nervous?

“Kagome…” the woman named Kikyo warned. It made his inner beast snarl at the thought that she would dare threatened his woman. Wait—what? His? His woman? Where the fuck did that come from? He knew he had gone crazy but maybe being held captive by Sesshomaru made his mind go even further off the deep end.

“Seriously Kikyo! I promise! Everything is fine! The villagers aren’t in danger—I’m not in danger—”

“You are too trusting Kagome… It will be your downfall one day. Please, from now on, don’t wander off without speaking to me. I need to protect you from yourself.”

The woman, Kagome, was now stewing but nodded and followed her sister back to the village… What the fuck. What a weird woman.

The fox kit hissed at him catching his attention. Inuyasha turned to face him again and saw the kit glaring at him.

“Please don’t hurt her. She’s the only kind human in that village. She’s all I have,” he pleaded. “I don’t want to challenge you; I know I’d lose. But…”

“I won’t hurt her,” Inuyasha admitted causing the fox tyke to jump at his voice.

“You can talk?” 

“Of course I can talk…”

“I meant as in your demon state. I can smell your instincts roaring out of control. Even Kagome’s sister could sense your animosity. Why did you spare Kagome?”

“I don’t know… something told me that I shouldn’t hurt her.” The young fox stared at him as if trying to learn more from him. Shippo jumped over to his branch and earned a snarl but Shippo remained still, like Kagome had done until Inuyasha’s instincts settled.

“I’m Shippo.”

“Inuyasha.”

“You’re… Inuyasha??” the young boy gaped.

“Why?”

“You’re just not what, well, I thought you’d be. You’re more in control now. Why?”

“Couldn’t tell ya even if I wanted to.” 

“Is she your mate??”

“Mate?”

“Yeah! Damn you’re dumb for an older demon. The one your instincts draw you to! The one that calms your blood!”

“… Mind your business runt.” All he could equate his change in demeanor to was that woman. Kagome. She settled the inner beast within him. Calmed his boiling demonic blood. All he knew was, he had to see her again.

  Kagome had grown up an outcast amongst her people. Twin to the high priestess Kikyo, she just couldn’t stack up to her sister. The villagers knew it too. They compared them since birth and while Kikyo grew up to be refined, beautiful, a perfect example of a priestess, Kagome was… cute. At best. She tried her hardest but she honestly couldn’t live up to the priestess calling she had been given.

Kikyo was powerful. She held her duty close to her heart and protected the village. She worked night and day for the town. Since they were kids, Kikyo was colder, but she was kind. Giving. Studious. Serious.

Kagome was joyful, energetic, caring, but above all, accepting. She had saved demons from the traps the villagers set and helped them escape. She wanted them all to live in peace. But she was foolish, at least in the eyes of her people. Who accepted demons? Who helped them over her own people? 

The villagers started speaking ill of her to Kikyo and the headman. They wanted her banished. She was a danger to the village if she stayed. They said she lured demons with her crazy ideas that everyone should be treated equally, that her saving them only made them want to come back and start eating their children because they were given a second chance.

She scoffed at the idea! The kitsune she saved, Shippo, only lingered in the forest and traveled with her as she gathered herbs. If anything, he drove away unwanted demons with his presence. 

At that moment, she was on her way to meet with him when she overheard the whispers and scowls. She kept her head down and almost thought maybe she should just pack her bag and leave. It was enough she was unwanted, but the idea that Kikyo had to keep defending her and her reputation was starting to wear on her. Kikyo didn’t understand Kagome’s logic or thinking but never cast doubt upon her. She just refused to train her—she left Kagome to her own devices. Which was gathering herbs. No one trusted her anyway to try to do a healing or purification. Kikyo didn’t want her to fight as she figured she wouldn’t anyway. She surmised Kagome would feed herself to a demon rather than kill it. Sighing, she straightened her bow and quiver on her back and tightened her grip on her basket in her arms. 

“Kagome!!!”

“Good morning Shippo!” she called as she caught him in her arms as he flung himself into her chest. “How are you this morning?”

“I’m good! I’ve been helping some of the weaker demons escape from the traps the villagers have been setting. I feel like they have been adding more and more every day!”

“I know; I’m so sorry Shippo. Thank you for helping them out. I wish there was more I could do,” she sighed disheartened.

“It’s ok Kagome! We all know you’re different! Inuyasha is still here today too!”

“Inuyasha?” she asked.

“The dog demon who pinned you down yesterday.”

“Oh… well good! I’m glad! Is he talking??”

“He was until you got back to the village. He’s been sulking in a tree ever since,” Shippo teased.

“I do not sulk!!!” a snarl answered in the trees. He appeared in front of Kagome quickly—looming over her small frame, bright golden irises engulfed in red, overly large fangs hanging out of his mouth… and all she could think was how attractive he was. Not how he should have frightened her, not how she should be careful, not how his demonic aura was suffocating, but how handsome he was. How different he was from the villagers. She slightly averted her eyes from the demon in front of her and sighed slightly. Like he would ever think I’m beautiful. He probably saw Kikyo yesterday and wishes I was her…

It wouldn’t be the first time she was disregarded for her sister. But Kikyo refused any suitor because of her duty to the village. She would offer Kagome’s hand instead and she was swiftly and sometimes brutally turned down. Not that Kagome wanted any of the suitors that came their way anyway. That didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt though.

Inuyasha detected the hurt in her scent and growled catching her attention. Her beautiful blue eyes locked with his and he could see the forced smile, “Of course not. How are you doing? Did you eat the dried meat? I brought more today along with some rice if you and Shippo are hungry.”

“Why are you sad?”

“Huh?” she stopped moving and looked at him confused.

“Why. Are. You. Sad?” he asked pointedly.

“Oh, no reason. I was just thinking about something stupid; come on, sit with us,” she gestured as she sat with Shippo giving him some food and then giving Inuyasha some. He blinked. It was the first time in at least a century he accepted food from someone and didn’t automatically think it was poisoned. What was wrong with him?

“So… Inuyasha? Where’d you come from? How’d you find this village?”

“Dunno.”

“Oh… ok,” she bit her lip. He obviously was just being polite and waiting for Kikyo to come grab her. She turned her back and started to brush through the grass looking for the herbs she needed to gather for Kikyo.

Shippo looked at Inuyasha and tried to coax him to talk to Kagome. Shippo, while he was substantially younger, was more helpful than Sesshomaru ever was. But then again, Inuyasha assumed it had to do with the woman’s proximity. His youkai was calmer and more willing to listen and converse with the younger demon.

“Uh… what’re ya doing?” God. He was an idiot. 

“Hm? Oh, picking herbs for my sister and village.”

“Not for you?” He upgraded to lame.

“Uh, no. This is my job—well—my chore for my sister. To help her,” she added nervously sweeping her hair behind her ears. He could sense she had grown uncomfortable with the conversation. Was she upset with her sister?

“Why does your sister upset you?” Maybe he downgraded back to stupid—he smelt her tears then. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

“She doesn’t. Not really. Why?”

“I can smell your discomfort and lies. You may as well be honest or just say you don’t want to talk about it.”

“Sigh… it’s not that she upsets me. It’s just that she overshadows me. I wish I could do more for the village but, they don’t want that. So it all falls to her. All I can do is stuff behind the scenes.”

“Why?”

“Have you ever talked with another priestess while she picked herbs with a demon fox perched up on their shoulder? Has another ever offered you food or not purified you when you pinned them?”

Yep. He was stupid. An idiot. Dammit. “That’s… nothing to be ashamed of,” he hesitated in saying.

“You’re right. I’m not. It just puts strain on my relationship with my sister and the village. I am the problem—not her."

He was starting to grow angry with her attitude, “Why are you the problem!? Obviously it’s them!”

She jumped at his words and saw his aura rising around him angrily—why was he getting so upset for her?? He stood up and started to shake with power making Shippo run for the trees calling for her to follow. She acted more than thought as she threw her body against him embracing him fully.

He stilled and she gasped realizing what she had done. She almost pulled back but when he returned her embrace she froze. She felt his nose at the nape of her neck, inhaling deeply and then pushing hot breath making her shiver in delight. Rubbing her face against his rough haori, she tried to clear her improper thoughts.

He tensed around her, taking in her scent of desire, knowing she deep down wanted him to settle—his blood needed to remain clam. 

“You’re a crazy one,” he murmured into her neck.

“I get that a lot…” she breathed.

“Why embrace a monster who was about to slaughter your village? Your family?”

“You’re not a monster,” she said pulling back but not removing her hands from his body.

“How do you know?” he asked as his golden eyes bore into her.

“Call it instinct.”

His eyes widen. Did she know?

 Their daily visits continued from the late summer to the early winter. Inuyasha would wait for her just outside of the village in the forest line. She greeted him each day with a smile. As the seasons changed, so did she. She grew more confident, touching him here and there—his arm, hand, legs... Once she had grown so bold, she brushed his hair from his face and cupped his cheek. He also felt himself slowly slipping back into a more even state of mind. His fangs and claws had shrunk, according to Shippo his eyes weren’t red, but the stripes on his cheeks never faded. Not that it seemed Kagome minded. She never commented on his appearance making her uncomfortable. Her scent also revealed she enjoyed it—possibly almost too much.

He wasn’t sure how humans courted each other. Shippo helped him understand the demon way. He had been providing her with meals for her and her sister. He had started protecting the village, staying far enough away for Kikyo to not sense when he allowed his demonic aura to grow to defend his mate. After a moon cycle, Shippo was able to relay everything Inuyasha could tell him. While he hated talking, he did need to figure out what Kagome was to him and why he couldn’t get her out of his mind. Luckily, he could pound the twerp into the ground if he revealed too much.

The only thing he could do was follow Kagome’s lead. Such as the touching. He would graze her hand as they walked, sometimes held it which made her blush and smile up at him. Often he pressed his hand on her lower back guiding her to an area where she could find certain herbs she was looking for. They hugged a couple of times, often seeking comfort and support from each other.

He had told her about his past. He wasn’t even sure how or why she had coaxed it out of him. But she had, and she soothed his anger, his regret, his remorse he actually hadn’t realized he had. She also confided in him about the village she lived in. How she honestly wished she could leave, but she couldn’t bring herself to abandon her sister. Until Kikyo told her to leave with actual words rather than back handed comments, she would stay and help as best as she could. It enraged him to know how the village treated her because she helped demons, but she told him the days and evenings they were sharing made up for her staying. She would have regretted never meeting him… Him. Of all people, she wanted to meet him. 

“Inuyasha,” she said softly as they walked into the forest together. He had forced her to wear his haori due to the chilling temperatures and Shippo perched on her shoulder to keep her neck warmer.

“What?” he asked gruffly.

“Can I ask you something?”

“I guess,” he said.

“What… Uhm, how would you feel if…” she was nervous. She didn’t know how to tell him someone had actually asked for her hand. Not Kikyo’s—but her hand in marriage. Before she could decline, Kikyo had answered for her, accepting. Kikyo spent the evening calming Kagome and telling her it was for the best. But Kagome couldn’t shake the wrongness of the engagement. Inuyasha was the one man who stuck out through her mind. Even if he just wanted to be friends, she wanted desperately to run away with him. Start over with him and Shippo. 

“Spit it out wench.”

She scoffed at the nickname he had given her in the couple months time they had spent together, but it didn’t settle her nerves.

“Are you happy here, Inuyasha?”

“Keh, it’s not so bad. Plenty to hunt, clean river nearby, villagers don’t try to bother me or the kit. Why?”

“Would you, uhm, ever want to get away from here?”

“Why? Do…do you not want me here anymore?” he asked hesitantly.

“What?! No! Of course not!” she stopped walking to face him directly and took his hands in hers. “I—there’s—oh Inuyasha—I—”

“For fuck’s sake, what’s wrong??”

“Uhmmmm… I’m gonna meet you guys at the river,” Shippo said nervously, hopping off Kagome’s shoulder and scurrying away.  

“Inuyasha…” she breathed. She was so close to tears; terrified of rejection, terrified of the future. She couldn’t win. She didn’t want to ruin what she had with Inuyasha already, but she had run out of time—literally—though she hadn’t even known time was something she didn’t even have. 

Before she was able to speak she felt a spike of demonic aura—it was angry, fearful, and downright powerful. She looked to see where it was coming from and saw a pair of golden eyes staring at her through the trees. Gasping, Inuyasha turned and snarled in anger. Of course his brother would choose now to interrupt.

“Little brother,” Sesshomaru greeted coldly.

“Asshole…” Inuyasha replied.

“’Brother’?” Kagome asked as Inuyasha shifted her behind him.

“It seems you were able to find your own mate,” Sesshomaru stated.

“’Mate’?” Kagome questioned.

“Shut the fuck up…” Inuyasha growled as his eyes began to bleed red.

“Ah, an unclaimed mate. You are still unstable…” Sesshomaru looked to the girl curiously. “It seems she has been able to do what others cannot—but you have yet to claim her. You are still a danger to yourself and others,” he added as he raised his claws.

“NO!!” Kagome said stepping in front of Inuyasha.

“Stay out of this Kagome!” Inuyasha snarled.

“He’s ok! Please! Don’t take him away! His blood is only rising because you’re here!”

“You think it would be different for any other male? Any other demon, priestess? Until my brother is mated, he will revert back into the mindless demon and kill without sorrow!”

“That’s a lie! He remembers everything and carried the lives he took in his soul! He has control over himself! Inuyasha has been staying in the forest with Shippo and he hasn’t transformed once!”

Sesshomaru was suddenly in front of Kagome, claws glowing green and before he could even swing down at her, she was thrown away and tumbled around on the ground. She gasped from the breath knocked out of her and coughed at the sudden force of being pushed away. Quickly she looked back and saw Inuyasha fighting with Sesshomaru. His eyes returned to that cold steel blue, his claws lengthened, teeth grew, and the jagged stripes on his cheeks seemed more out of control.

She stood shakily and tried to watch them glide through the air as they swung at each other. Grasping his haori that was still on her, she worried without his armor he would be more vulnerable. 

“Lady Kagome!!” Fuck. Her. Life. As if Hojo would follow her into the forest any other day…

“Lord Hojo! Stay back!”

Both demons halted their fight and gazed upon the young human male who entered the area. He brazenly grabbed Kagome’s arm making her wince as it was the one she landed on when she was thrown away from Sesshomaru in haste. Inuyasha roared startling the two humans and he set forth to attack the male touching his mate. Sesshomaru reached forward and tried to stop him but Kagome did the unthinkable—she jumped in front of him and wrapped her arms around his neck and held on for dear life screaming his name. 

Inuyasha froze, as did Sesshomaru having watched the exchange. He was shocked a priestess would embrace a demon, let alone while he was blatantly out of control with rage. Sesshomaru had seen many things in his long life… this was one of the strangest yet.

He had intended to attack Inuyasha to bring him back home again where he could court the young woman from the safety of the cell. As his elder brother, it was his responsibility to keep him from destroying his lands and their father’s legacy. Their father’s blood was too strong for the half-demon. Sesshomaru was impressed that not only had Inuyasha found his intended, but that he had been brought out of his demonic state. He wasn’t sure on the details on how he found her or vice versa, but there had been a fair amount of interaction.

“Lady Kagome!” Hojo yelled.

“Inuyasha, come back,” she cried holding onto him tightly. Shifting her face she locked eyes with the bright aqua irises. She saw the recognition in his eyes as he let out a gentle rumble to comfort her. Shifting one arm from around his shoulder, she stroked his cheek. “That’s it. It’s ok now.”

“Lady Kagome! He’s a demon! Release him at once!”

Kagome kept looking into Inuyasha’s eyes, ignoring Hojo and Sesshomaru to the best of her abilities. It seemed like it kept both males at bay from approaching them further and pulled Inuyasha back to his senses.

“Inuyasha?”

Sesshomaru maintained his distance seeing the young woman had brought his brother back with a mere embrace. How was she capable of such power? She was his mate, no doubt was left in Sesshomaru as he gazed upon the two. Was it also because she was a priestess?

“Lady Kagome!!”

“Lord Hojo, you should go back to the village,” she said softly, her eyes never leaving Inuyasha’s. She saw the golden orbs finally resurface. 

“I am not leaving without my betrothed,” Hojo said stubbornly. “It is my duty to protect you!”

Inuyasha’s eyes had just returned to normal and he looked like someone had just stabbed him through the heart, “You’re engaged…?”

“I…I tried to tell you this afternoon when this all started,” she swallowed still cupping his cheek even as he was starting to try to push her away. “I—please—I don’t—”

“Kagome,” he said brokenly looking away from her.

“Lady Kagome, leave the demon alone. He is under control and is no longer a threat to the village. I’ll make sure Lady Kikyo knows of your powers and we shall hold a celebration tonight for our engagement and your victory. I will hide the fact you… sullied yourself by touching the creature. Come, let us leave,” he extended his hand towards her. 

Inuyasha had not anticipated her reaction as she clung to his haori and looked at Hojo with disgust, “I ‘sullied’ myself?? How dare you! Why I never!! What’s your problem, Lord Hojo?! You act like there’s something dirty and wrong with Inuyasha! He was protecting me from his brother! Who, I don’t know why, but seemed like he was testing him! I was never in any danger and ugh!!! I can’t believe you would insinuate that Inuyasha was a lower being than you or I!!! Just because he’s a half demon doesn’t make him any less of a person!”

“Lady Kagome—”

“Listen, Lord Hojo,” she said turning towards the human male, one hand still clutching onto Inuyasha to try to deter him from running. “My sister shouldn’t have accepted your proposal. I am my own person. While I didn’t want to have this conversation in front of you, or his brother, I guess I don’t have a choice because I’m about to lose the only man that I’ve ever wanted to notice me.” 

She tilted her head down so she couldn’t see Inuyasha’s face, she was too nervous, blushing too hard, and had to keep the gusto that she had somehow found. She knew she felt something deep inside that pulled her to him. Something that demanded that she belonged to him. She always followed her gut feelings and they never seemed to take her down the wrong path—she knew she needed to follow them now. If she ruined what she had with Inuyasha then so be it; she could just start over with Shippo… But she really hoped it wouldn’t fall to that.

“Uhm. Listen, I… I have grown to really care for Inuyasha. I actually was going to ask him today if he would be open to leaving the village. I’m sorry Hojo. My heart belongs to him.”

“But my fair lady, I know I can make you happy. Provide for you, care for you, I know that you could grow to love me,” Hojo tried to appease her worries.

“No. It doesn’t work like that Hojo. I have to listen to what my heart is telling me, and it’s always said that I’m his. Not as a possession like you or another man in our village would claim—but… I don’t know how to explain it’s just—”

“Instinct,” Sesshomaru finished. They all gaped at the older demon standing before them, regal, poised, and cold. “Go human, and you shall be spared.”

“Not without—”

“You heard the bastard. If you want to keep your head you’ll get the fuck outta my sight,” Inuyasha finally spoke.

“But Lady—”

“Goodbye Lord Hojo; give my best to my sister. Make up whatever story you would like,” she said as she turned back to fully face Inuyasha. 

Once the human was gone, Inuyasha finally looked down to see Kagome’s fearful face.

“Inuyasha I—” he silenced her with his lips. He was testing her—he honestly wasn’t sure how else to do it. Being purified on the spot would have given him his answer, the rejection he thought she might give him. He thought that she might’ve just said that to the human to let her go. The scent that radiated off her had stung his nose when his rival was near. She was obviously uncomfortable. She hadn’t lied about that.

He was shocked though when she clutched the front of haori and kissed him back fiercely. Her tongue brushed through his lips and caressed one of his fangs making him gasp. Oh, seven hells… he felt like his body was no longer his own—but not in the mindless bloodlust he was used to. It had become possessed by the young maiden currently residing in his arms. He couldn’t think of anything but fucking rutting her right then and there.

His brother clearing his throat brought him out of the mindlessness that had overtaken him, making him growl slightly.

“If we’re done…” Sesshomaru said starting to walk slowly back from where he came.

“What?” Kagome questioned quietly.

“You can’t be serious! I’m not going back with you to be locked up again!” Inuyasha yelled angrily.

“Do not be a fool, Inuyasha. Your head is intact now. You know as an heir to the Inu-no-Taisho your place is in the west. You no longer require to be locked up, but I’m sure your mate would like a place to call home rather than having to wander the forest,” Sesshomaru said evenly as he did not pause in his gait.

“Will… Can we take Shippo?” Kagome asked.

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

“What do you mean?”

“To be the mate of a demon… this is a promise for eternity, not until you get bored of me,” Inuyasha stated uncomfortably. He still slightly feared rejection, but wanted to Kagome to be sure of her choice. 

“Inuyasha… I know my place is by you—call it—”

“Instinct,” he breathed and pressed his lips upon hers once more. Promising that they would forever follow their instincts loving each other in every sense of the world. 

[jay-and-dean]

I don’t need you  Chapter 9 : Hey Dean ?

Dean x reader

Summary : She’s a warrior, she’s a loner. Nothing can stop her, nothing ever had. She doesn’t need Dean, does she ?

This is a request by @magssteenkamp​ that I decided to turn to a serie, see the original request on the serie Masterlist.

Serie Warnings : Swearing (duh). Mention of death. Smut, probably all kind from rough to fluffy, I’ll precise in the chapters if there are specific warnings. Fluff. Angst of course.

Chapter warnings : Smut, fluffy smut, a hint of Dom!Dean. FLuff. Swearing. A hint of angst.

Words : almost 3.3 k

Note : Sorry I was late for this one, but things aren’t easy lately. For anyone I think. <3

***Want to read more ? => MASTERLIST***

*** I don’t need you MASTERLIST***

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           9.        Hey Dean ?

Dean's pov

             I run to her but it seems like the world is in freaking slow motion now.  

           Sam throws himself at the falling girl. She starts bleeding and her body is hurled forward, the slivers of glass going in every directions.

A woman screams and the whole bar turns to look at us, my tigress still holds the neck of the bottle in her hand but she doesn't move.

"Old creep" she mutters between her teeth.

"Damn it Y/n !" I yell at her when my body reaches hers, grabbing her from behind, catching her wrists so she doesn't attack the bleeding girl again.

And the time starts again. I shake her wrist hard so she lets go off the bottle and keep her crushed against me.

"Call an ambulance !" Sam yells to the bartender.

But he won't, I can see it on his shocked face, he will call the cops first, I would have done the same if I was him.

           Sam lifts his eyes on me, to make sure I'm in control of the "time bomb" I'm holding, but no one controls her, and if I can keep her arms, it's just because she lets me. I saw her fight before, and I know how many weapons she's carrying... She doesn't intend to hit again but I'm not taking risks.

"Y/n !" I groan when seeing the little smirk on her face. "You could have killed her !"

"Oh yeah ?" she half laughs, showing her predatory white teeth.

I can't help but shaking her one hard time again, like I could bring some sense into her.

"She's okay !" Sam says loud so the entire freaking out room hears him. "She just have a cut and..."

"Sam..." I grunt, and he understands.

He understands that we can't take the risk of being arrested by the cops, not us, but certainly not her either, because the police is already actively after her.

"I'm going to press charges" the woman on the ground mumbles.

           Sam gets up with his hands in surrender.

"Listen, our friend has issues and... we're sorry, we... You should call an ambulance" he states, grabbing his jacket.

Issues...

Her body relaxes slightly against mine and now I just feel like holding her in my arms. So I cautiously walk with her to the exit, ready to jump on whoever would be stupid enough to try and just touch one of her hair.

"You should keep your bitch on a leash" an old biker grunts and Sam puts a hand on my chest before I can make a move.

My jaw clenching, I give him a death glare, but I also know if I make just one move, this bar is going to turn into a freaking fight club.

           If I really want to protect her, the only thing I can do is bring her out of here. Y/n lifts her middle finger at him, making him stand up, but I drag her out of the bar quickly, grunting.

           Once out, I tug at her arm to make her walk to the Impala, and she enters the back seat without a word.

"Are you fucking insane ?" Sam yells at her, closing the passenger door.

"Sam..." I try.

The biker and a few more guys get out of the bar, and I start the engine fast, making baby's tires squeal on the asphalt.

"No Dean ! Seriously !" Sam cuts me. "Y/n !"

I drive out, taking a deep breath, they will have our description, and the description of the car, good thing we live in a bunker and are "dead" a long time ago. Maybe I'll ask Cas to help fix this.

"I lost it" she mutters.

"YOU DID YEAH !" he suddenly yells.

I don't say a word for now, I'm not that angry actually, I know I should be. I should be worried that she's that unpredictable, violent, I should say something about being careful, not hurting people and all. But...

"I'm not a child, Sam" she states firmly with an intimidating calm. "I'm not someone you can put in the back seat and reprimand like a kid that fought in school. I'm not your responsibility, and I won't abide you yelling at me" she takes a deep breath, her eyes on Sam's. "I-I know you think I'm a time bomb and bad and all..." she says and my heart races in my chest. "I'm sorry and I can leave."

"I don't think you're bad" Sam sighs. "I have seen bad, you're far from that, Y/n... I'm... worried. And I don't want you to leave..."

"I know this kind of woman" she grunts.

"They don't deserve to die" my brother turns to her.

"Sam, I'm not an idiot" she looks right back at him. "I have never killed anyone by accident..." A deep sigh leaves her lips. "I know what a monster is. Don't confuse a bar fight with murder..."

           Sam rubs his face and nods, biting his lips. He's right, this wasn't really a bar fight, she was feral and hit that girl without a warning, but she isn't lying either : she didn't want her dead, either way I wouldn't have stopped her, no one would have.

What was that Y/n ?

I think of her closed eyes under me, letting me take possession of her with a trust she never gave to anyone. She feels that connection, and she can't let someone attack me... I never had that, except Sammy defending me, I was always the one trying to protect people, and it didn't went so well...

           I can't help but smile a little, hidden by the darkness inside the car. I look at her discreetly, sitting deeper in the corner, closer to the window, also thinking she's hidden in the night's coat, but I see her clearly. I see her face softening, and a worried shadow fall on her eyes. She has no idea how to deal with what he's feeling, and letting me in was the bravest thing she did.

"Y/n" I call softly to make her look at me in the rear-view mirror and she does, a pained look on her face.

I just want her to look at me, to know I have noticed, to know I am here, always.

 ***

           I thought Sam would try to talk to me, that he would lecture me about how dangerous she can be, and I was ready. Ready to tell him she was not dangerous, just a little wild... And I was ready to tell him about us.

           He already knows about our link, about our connection and those knowing looks ; he knows we slept together and that I'm pretty much obsessed with her. What he doesn't know about is my feelings for her.

           He doesn't know that it's not just obsession.

           But he didn't say a word : We came back to the motel and she smiled at him, putting a hand on his arm, telling him she was incredibly grateful for that new formidable weapon we now got against the vampires.

"You're incredible, Sam Winchester" she said, earning a smile from him. "I promise I will try to work on my anger... I'm going to my room."

And she left.

           I actually wanted Sam to say something to me, I sat on the bed and stayed silent, somehow hoping he would give me the occasion to tell him how important she is for me. But as he started telling me a little more about the spell, I knew he wouldn't go on that road tonight.

           Then he showered and went to bed... And here I am.

           Watching the ceiling, obsessed by the idea of her being just above, in the room she booked for herself when we arrived, like she does when it's possible, and enough rooms are available and not too expensive -despite my insistence on the fact that it's not actually our money, she always counts carefully-.

           That room in which she opened up to me, in which I made love with her...

           I sit, unable to find sleep, and look at my right to my brother laying on his stomach, his hair falling on his face, then at the clock on my left : 03:48. I take a deep breath and get up in silence, the fresh air of the room hitting my skin.

           Grabbing my coat, I put it on my naked chest, adjusting my sweatpants and look back one last time before I leave the room.

 Reader's Pov

             Sitting at the little table close to the window, I look outside from the dark of my room, sipping at the instant coffee I made. Nothing happens on that parking, but I need to look outside, to see the sky, the stars shyly shining behind those seedy lights.

           I fell in love with Dean Winchester. He stole a heart I thought was stone and made it beat in his hands.

           Now I can't sleep, I can't do anything but thinking about his kisses on me. I close the note book in front of me where I only wrote a few lines about Sam's plan, unable to do more.

           If I could talk to the kid I was, I don't know what I would tell her. For the first time, I have no idea...

           But suddenly, he appears on the parking lot, Dean.

           His shoes untied, his sweatpants sticking to his strong thighs with the wind, his hands clinging to his coat. My heart turns to a humming bird as he disappears in the stairs. I get up and rush to the door to open it.

"Hey" he says reaching it.

"Hey" I answer with a smile, frozen in the door frame, staring at him.

"Can I come in ?" he chuckles.

"Y-yes sorry" I take a step back to let him walk in, and close the door behind me.

The second he's in, he lets go off his coat and the green jacket falls open on his chest. He has been cold, Goosebumps raising in waves between his nipples and on his stomach.

           I walk to him, putting my hands on his chest before I slide them on his back, never leaving his skin. Putting my head on his neck, I crush my warm body on his, regretting that I wear a shirt, because I crave his skin on mine.

           He hums, and wraps his arms around me, his heartbeat steady in my ear. I want to look up but that would mean leave his skin for a second, and for now it's not possible, so I press my lips on the junction of his neck and his shoulders, and inhale deeply.

"You didn't need to attack that girl" he says low, his deep voice drowning my brain in a peaceful warm feeling of invulnerability.

I attacked her because I felt the rage of injustice in my bones, insulting someone you don't even know, without knowing what they are dealing with at the moment, not caring about the damages you could cause. What if Dean was dealing with depression ? What if those kind of words had actually shattered him ? And what ? Insulting the man that was working on a plan to save the more people he can ? Again ! A man that dedicated his life to others ! Gave up everything so that she can go out in bars without being eaten alive ! Just because she felt offended that he wasn't drooling on her three thousand bucks boobs...

"She insulted you..." I just shrug sincerely.

Those are excuses, those are the reasons my brain came up with, but I didn't grab that bottle because of my brain...

"You can't lash out each time someone is not nice to me, Y/n" he just states and I could swear I hear a smile in his tone.

           I very slowly move my face from left to right and right to left, so my lips caress his neck and my hands rub his back, fingers going up and down the valley of his muscles.

           My Dean, my hero...

           His arms squeeze me a little, crushing me against him like a toddler with his favorite teddy bear, and I smile.

"Is Sam mad at me ?" I murmur, now putting a few kisses on his collarbone.

"Sam likes you more than you think" he says so deep and so close to me that my chest vibrates. "I think he's mostly afraid of what's going between us..."

He lets a silence fall in the room, last time he said "us", I told him there was no such thing, hurt him and broke my own heart.

"Why ?" I whisper, my hand going down to the curve of his ass, where his sweatpants rests lazily, under the dimples of his lower back muscles.

I slip both my hands pass the elastic band of his pants, my kisses on his neck becoming hungrier, but I can't move a lot, because he's holding me so tight. I never felt like this, like I can just take someone in my arms and let my love come out my every pores, my every breaths....

"Because we are... intense" he states and a wide smile appears on my face when I feel is cock twitch against my lower stomach, barely hold by the lose grey sweatpants. "And... It's new to him, he never saw me like this."

Saw him like this... My grin widen and my hands rest on his ass cheeks.

"No underwear ?" I purr, my kisses going up his jaw.

"It's more comfy like this to sleep" he admits, taking a few steps backward until the back of his knees touch the edge of the bed.

           His hands let go of me for a second to grab my panties under the oversized shirt I'm wearing, and I instantly miss the pressure, the strength of his arms being my armor. He pushes them and I just let them fall on the ground, stepping out of it.

"I had so many fantasies of you in this Hocus Pocus t-shirt..." he admits, sitting down to put his head on my chest on the plain back shirt I'm wearing now, wrapping his hands behind my thighs.

"It burnt, Dean" I sigh, spreading my legs to straddle him gently, feeling him lift his hips just a little to free his cock.

"I'm so sorry about that" he sighs pumping himself a few times.

Then he kisses me.

           In the background, I hear my phone ring but ignore it, the only one I care of is Dean.

           There is no rush or brutal need. Just Dean, my Dean and me, wanting to be together, needing each other close.

           He kisses my lips and lines himself with my entrance, letting me sink on him in a few shallow thrusts to wet him enough, feeling the head of his velvety cock stretch me, more of him able to slip in me with each up and down moves of my hips, my body soaking him with slick inch by inch. His moans are soft but they resonate on every walls in the silence of our peaceful night and in my body making my core throb a little around him in a urge to have him impossibly deeper.

"Look at me" he groans, suddenly grabbing my face with one hand to prevent me from hiding in his neck. "You're mine now, Tigress."

In just a second, his hand breaks the peace by almost bruising my face, and I feel his hips starting to join my movements, hitting my sweet spot with each thrust, and an increasing force. My phone lights up again but I don't hear his buzz behind the groans and moans of my hunter.

"Ah !" I cry out, trying to keep my eyes on him even when I'm already shaken by the need to come.

"Tell me" he orders.

I let out a pathetic "yes" almost whistling in strangled inhale but his fingers squeeze my face harder, and his other hand grabs my waist roughly to hold me tight.

"Out loud" he groans. "You can't play with me, baby. Not now that you made me fall in love with you."

It hits me like an orgasm before the orgasm and I gather my focus.

"Y-yes" I whine. "I'm yours, baby. I'm yours !"

With that he lets go of my face and waist, wrapping his powerful arms around me to hold me still, crushed against his body, while starts to quickly pound into me. Peaceful can't last long between the two of us.

           I cry out when his teeth sink in my neck, I cry out when his cock twitches violently inside of me before he empties himself in a growl deep inside of me, and I cry out when I come, my body on fire, hips rolling against his pelvis as I can now he stilled, hungry to take him deep, longer, high on my orgasm.

           I'm out of breath, Dean still buried deep, softening slowly as he kisses random spots on my face.

My phone buzzes again, and my eyes land on it in annoyance.

"What the..." I frown.

"What is it ?" Dean worries, searching my face.

           I get up on my knees, freeing Dean's cock. A hiss leaves his lips and he tries to hold me back but I stretch my arm and one leg to grab the buzzing phone, feeling Dean's finger in the inside of my thighs, and his kisses on my hip.

           I sit back down on his lap and see him playing with a bit of cum between his fingers. I sigh, answering while my baby grunts, his head on my neck again to kiss me.

"Joe ?"

Dean stops kissing me, a serious look immediately spreading on his beautiful sweaty face.

"Y/n... I have been trying to call you for a while now. Are you safe ?"

"I am... I thought you were..." I rub my face, my high-on-love brain fighting to proceed that my friend is alive.

"Yeah, about that... I am in trouble Y/n. I saw your apartment burnt and... Fuck I'm so relieved you're alive..." he sounds really worried.

Dean looks at the phone sternly, his hands possessively holding my waist.

"Where are you Joe ? I'm coming to get you."

"I'm in your neighbor" he says.

"Okay, do you have somewhere to go ? It might take a while for me to join you" I admit, touching Dean's hair lovingly.

"I'll stay at the Golden line hotel waiting for you. Where are you ?"

"Idaho" I state and hear him gasp.

"What are you doing in Idaho ?" he asks with a frown audible in his voice.

Making love with Dean Winchester.

"It's a long story" I half smile at the beauty of the green in my lover's eyes. "I'll call you when I'm close, okay ? I'll do as fast as I can, Joe. Stay safe."

I hang up and bend to kiss Dean's lips.

"Will you come with me ?" I ask.

"There's no way you go alone where the cops, the vamps and a handsome hipster are after you" he grunts, wrapping his arms around me again, his forehead resting on my shoulder.

"Hey Dean ?" I call softly, still playing with his hair.

"Mh ?"

"I love you."

________________________

***FEEDBACK IS GOLD***

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[demetyilmcz]

but what a ghostly scene. {au self para}

  ❛  you wear the same jewels that I gave you      as you bury me ❜

tw: death mention, stabbing mention, funeral, general ghost vibes

This is not what she thought death would be. 

Humans have the folklore that souls would hang around the world when they have unfinished business with the living, or if their death was particularly violent and the soul could not find rest. Demet supposes she would fall under both categories. 

The funeral is pretty. She hadn’t thought Harry would be so meticulous with the selection, or that she would even get a headstone at all. He seemed to only see the monster while he held that silver blade, determined that he was making the world a better place by removing her from existence. You’d never guess it now, from the role he plays as a grieving fiancé. Demet has to admit that he does it well, and she wonders how much of everything she ever saw from him was as much of a performance as the show he’s putting on now. Did she even know him at all? The dull ache in her heart wants to scream yes, that it couldn’t have all been a lie, but maybe that’s just phantom pain from the dagger he put there. ( Sometimes when she looks down, she swears she can still see it sticking out from her chest. )

Strange. Esma and Rafael aren’t here. She always thought they would be. Maybe Rafael really has moved on with his life. Maybe she doesn’t matter to him anymore, had stopped mattering a long time ago. He never did respond to any of her letters, anyway. But Esma, that one’s a puzzle, something she doesn’t quite understand as her lifeless eyes scan the crowd of mourners. Friends, coworkers, everyone she’s ever known in London have turned up. But none of her family. Esma should be here, if no one else. Her sister still loves her, doesn’t she? Does Demet’s life really matter so little? The thought is a chill that crawls over her skin. Funny, she was never cold when she was alive. Her fur always kept her warm. Now it’s as if she’s encased in a cage of ice, and she thinks if she had breath, it’d fog up the air around her. She’s forgotten how to breathe. Is that another ghost thing?

Harry sits up front at the service, as the priest reads pretty things from the one book she never got around to reading. May God bless her soul. She didn’t realize Harry was particularly religious, he’s never mentioned it before. Demet floats forward until she’s standing in front of him. She wills him to see her, give her anything, but he only stares through her as if she’s nothing more than a window. Even as she reaches out to touch his cheek, and her hand passes straight through. Is this her new reality? To simply exist? Wander the earth forever, condemned to her loneliness? This isn’t what she wants. Demet wants her father. And her mother. And Burak. She wants to be with her family again. It had been some small relief, a consolation prize as she laid dying on her kitchen floor, that at least she would get to see them again. But it seems as if she’s been cheated out of that as well, now. Is there anything else the universe is capable of taking from her? She’s never been sure she’s believed in the idea of a god, but if any exist, they must take great amusement from her torments. 

Tears stream down Harry’s face as the casket that holds her mortal body is lowered into the ground, and really, he’s wasting his talents as a hunter, it’s clear that he’s made for the stage. He’s wearing the cufflinks and watch that she bought him, Demet notes, as he runs a hand through his disheveled hair. He always did like dressing well. Maybe it makes him feel more powerful. There’s a small satisfaction to seeing him favor one side, the side where her claws had scratched him. She did not go with grace. No soft gasp, no limp body to hold in his arms while she dies and he cries like he’s the victim of the scene — that the woman he loves turned to a monster, so he must act the hero and kill the beast for the good of humanity. He had to earn her death, while she screamed and thrashed and plead and cried and fought back. So many stab wounds. So much blood. Demet wonders how they cleaned her up well enough for the viewing. That’s probably what the modest black dress is for, covered from neck to toe. As if she would ever wear something so restrictive. 

He stands around, accepting sympathies and well wishes and offers of ‘if there’s anything you need’ from everyone they’ve ever known, and a part of Demet wants to scream. To tell them all that it’s his fault, she didn’t have to die, doesn’t have to be here now floating outside of existence. But her mouth opens and no air comes in, no sound goes out. Mute. Might as well be, she always felt mute in her mortal life too. Biting her tongue so much, the first taste of blood she ever had being her own, swallowed to keep her mouth shut. So many things she never said, for the sake of everyone else, and now they never will be. Perhaps she did this to herself, to some degree. If she had not been so ashamed to want things for herself, to not have to always be the dutiful daughter when none of her siblings seemed willing, perhaps she would not have been such easy prey. So effortlessly charmed by his sweet words, and the idea that for what felt like the first time in her life, Demet came first to someone else. Where would she be now if she had simply thrown out the slip of paper he'd left with his number on it?

And yet, there is no use to ponder the ‘what ifs’. None of them will change this plane of existence that she finds herself caught in now. She follows Harry as he leaves with his friends to go drown their sorrows in a pub, not because she feels any particular tether to him, but because she knows little else where to go. Her life in London revolved around him, and neither of her siblings came to her funeral. What else is there for her? So she goes, and watches him pour down drink after drink, bemoaning his poor fiancée to anyone who will listen. The bartender gives him a glass of top shelf whiskey on the house, and Demet thinks she should’ve used this ploy a long time ago. She could’ve played the weeping widow for a free drink. She sticks a finger in his glass, just to see if she can feel it ( the answer is no ), while a man she’s never quite liked claps him on the back and tells him that everything happens for a reason, even if it doesn’t seem like it now. If she were capable, Demet would throw the drink in his face. 

And why can’t she be a vengeful ghost? The kind people always claim are haunting their houses; throwing books off the shelf, turning on stoves and locking the doors. She feels like she deserves at least that much, some kind of recompense for this fate. Instead, all she has is this detached form that doesn’t even feel like a body anymore, but her mind forces into the conforms of one anyways because that’s all it knows. Incapable of anything other than floating around after the living, watching in silence as they get to continue doing everything she had taken for granted once upon a time. Useless.

It’s nearly midnight when Harry leaves the pub, heading back to the little home they used to share. She remembers being so proud when they signed the lease together, a step towards their future. Looking at it now, all she can see is every shattered promise he ever made her. Demet wonders if Harry sees them too. He certainly didn’t waste time having the place cleaned up. You’d never know a murder was committed here only a few days prior, she thinks, as she floats into the living room. She expects Harry to follow, perhaps to sit in the lounger, kick his feet up and congratulate himself on a job well done while he watches television, but he never comes. So she seeks him out instead, finding him in the middle of the entryway, slouched against the wall with his head in his hands. It’s an image that surprises Demet, she’ll admit. She can hear the soft, choked sobs that wrack his chest, loud as the chimes that would ring from the clock on the wall in that quiet hallway. Oh. Maybe it was real, then. At least a little bit of it. 

She slides down, too, propped up on her hands and knees as she watches him with a mild fascination she would not have expected from herself. There is a certain schadenfreude in knowing he does not get to come out of this Scot-free and unaffected. Her name falls from his lips, the ones she used to fantasize about kissing all the time, muttered like a prayer or perhaps a curse, and Demet finds herself leaning in closer. What is she listening for, exactly? An apology? An acknowledgment of what he’s done? But no matter how long she waits, nothing else comes. Nothing except the sniffles of Harry’s tears. And maybe it speaks to how fucked up her mindset has always been, or maybe how much she loved him, but a strange sort of sympathy fills her chest watching him cry. She reaches for him once more, but it only passes straight through again.  If she could speak, if there was one thing Demet could say to him, she would ask, was it all worth it? Is this what you wanted? She cannot believe that it is, seeing him now.

And then she wonders, what if she is meant to forgive him? Perhaps that is the reason why she’s stuck here between a half-existence, when she should be with her family. If she lets go of this anger, and pain, and betrayal that she carries around with her, will that be enough? To give them both peace? It is a bitter thought, that she should have to bring peace to her murderer before she can achieve it for herself. And Demet knows, deep down in whatever is left of her soul, as she sits across from him in this dark hall, that forgiveness is a long ways away. 

It seems that you and I are still tied together forevermore, Harry. Was it always meant to be this way for us?

[hopehunted]

“ 𝐔𝐆𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐒 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐄. 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐄, 𝐈 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 𝐒𝐀𝐘, 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄. ” is that SHELLEY HENNIG? oh no, that’s 𝐉𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐃, born on the 27th of JULY, 2011. i heard SHE (CIS FEMALE) is a 𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐑 in the 𝐖𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐀. apparently, they can be PERSEVERING and BOLD but also known to be MERCILESS and GUARDED. spends most of their free time battling a bone-deep desire to flee, probably smells like METAL. is that a bite mark i see?

character inspirations: laurie strode (halloween 2018), murder coat!rick grimes (the walking dead), din djarin (the mandalorian), bigby wolf (the wolf among us), kelly bailey (misfits), frank castle (punisher), spot (the good dinosaur), trilla suduri (star wars), stitch (lilo & stitch).

you can find jordan’s stats right here, where i’ve also put all her links. there’s a good bit of info there, so i’ll just be fluffing her out a bit more here! 

— 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 ; 𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘'𝐒 𝐀 𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐑. CONTENT WARNING: the second-to-last bullet point of this section mentions pregnancy, postpartum depression, and infant death. it’ll be marked with ***.

jordan was born and raised in rural country, far beyond fedra’s reach. their community was overlooked by the government and denied entry to quarantined zones. they were left to fend for themselves — nothing but them, the land, and a dread so thick it filled the air like smog. 

her parents died quickly - no match for the changing tides - and their farm was overtaken by insurgents. suddenly, she became communal property. no, schrodinger's orphan: simultaneously everyone's and no one's ward. soon enough, a young couple would come to adopt her. it was good while it lasted, but jordan's luck is pure shit. family is quickly associated with the ephemeral: each caretaker having taught her something different before they pass or abandon her somewhere — all of them having made a promise they can’t or don’t intend to keep. some of them offer her their compassion's warmth, while others cut like a knife. she's a sponge: soaking up their essences until there was no more room for her, or who she may have been otherwise. 

above all, jordan learned how to make herself useful. she grew older and tougher in more ways than one. in a world intent on eating her alive, jordan fought to prove her worth, earn her place in groups, and for what bit of food and supplies they could scrap together. it was a life of grit, blood, and sweat: each moment clouded by the intrinsic need to survive, pushing out the fantasy of ever letting her defenses down. there is no order in the bush. jordan doesn’t know anything else — her life revolving around a fight, always. what moments of light she has are flickers in the dark ; moments she struggles still to claim are real. it’s easier to accept a grim fate than it is to hope for a brighter one. see, around these parts, hope kills quicker than a clicker.

time passed and jordan was a woman grown, just settling in to her twenties. for once, things we’re actually going well. their camp was protected, safe. it felt odd, she thought, this moment of peace. hope crawled into her brain through her ears and settled there, colonizing her consciousness. a tender friendship and string of bad decisions blossomed into something more; something that felt.. permanent. one thing led to another and suddenly they were expecting. jordan had never had a family before, not in a true sense, but she was excited to try. the idea of creating something greater than her was an exhilarating one, as though a string of good deeds could somehow right what was otherwise wrong in the world. she was excited to assume the role of a teacher, a leader, a caretaker. never before had she wanted anything more than that.

*** the storm passed and jordan realized she’d only been in the eye of it, momentarily untouched. the unimaginable unfolded before their eyes and jordan ventured elsewhere to a place formerly unbeknownst to her. it was a place for which there were no words, no understanding to be formed of a wound of that magnitude. jordan couldn’t bear to be present. memory had no mercy. her body, aching and sore and still producing sustenance, had no mercy. people would attempt to console her and it only made her want to bite. her partner was kinder than she deserved and it only made her want to scream her throat raw. she felt as though she’d shattered into a million pieces, the shards of her embedded in her very flesh, digging deeper with every step she took. at that point, there was only one truths to be told: jordan couldn’t stay.

it ends with this: jordan walks into the bush and doesn’t come back. she leaves nothing behind — not even a note or a whispered goodbye. she's just gone.

— 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄’𝐒 𝐀𝐍 𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍, 𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐘, 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

she’s twenty-six when the grizzlies find her: a trail of mutilated bodies leading them to a woman worn. misery has made a fiend of her: she’s harsher now, her hurt branded into the scarred skin of her body.

unsurprisingly, jordan fits right in with them. theirs is the only world she knows — she doesn’t notice the barbarism. if life is one long act of violence; what makes this any different? she takes to the work easily, proving her worth and earning the mark of the bear with ease. fremont lake is home, but jordan doesn’t trust it. she finds solace elsewhere, back in the woods. she’s happiest when scavenging or on a hunt, all too eager to keep herself occupied somehow. 

despite her efforts to be otherwise, jordan is a known figure in the wyoming militia. she’s a gun aimed wherever yen wants her: she’s brutal, decisive. jordan doesn’t flinch and she doesn’t hesitate. when there’s a move to be made, she’s typically one of the ones at the front of it. frankly, she’s no stranger to extreme violence. she bites and she scratches and she’ll use whatever is in her reach to win a fight. she’s not trained by any official means, but she has heart and will go for your knees every single time. it’s dirty, desperate, and merciless. you won’t leave a fight with her without a mark.

jordan doesn’t know how to deal with people being genuinely kind to her. she thinks there has to be a catch somewhere, that everything is a transaction of some sort. she’ll get nervous, flustered even. like, ‘what are you doing? is this a joke? stop looking at me like that.’ and if she does something kind, she’d rather die than be recognized for it. being tender? being acknowledged as a human being capable of contributing something of worth? gross. ew. too revealing for her, thanks.

she has a lot of survival skills knowledge. knows how to make do with minimal supplies and resources, and i mean that in the bear grylls doing nasty shit just to make it through the night type of way. she’s also an excellent huntsman. she can sniff out tracks easily and leaves no nook or cranny untouched when scavenging. she’ll climb and crawl through questionable buildings if there’s a chance for loot inside. you might want to watch your belongings around her, too.

her living quarters are bare, and you can’t tell much about her just by looking through it. having moved from camp to camp for a majority of her life, coupled with an innate sense of instability has pretty much dissolved any real sense of ownership she feels over things. she does like little trinkets, though. typically small animal figurines. she thinks they’re charming.

she can be a great friend, if you manage to get close enough. she's brazen, a surprisingly good listener, and always more than willing to lighten the mood. she may not laugh at your jokes, but she'll have your back, even if it costs her own. as it turns out, jordan can be very generous sometimes: she’ll shower you in attention and walk in your shadow, chasing the light you emit. deep down, jordan has a strong desire to please, and shows her love through acts of service. she wants to be needed, and needs to be useful to those she loves.

had coffee once and she hated it. too needy of a drunk to feel comfortable drinking. avoids the fighting pits. freezes up when someone touches her. can and will steal your flannel shirts.

— 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐀 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐊, 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄.

first of all, when i say i’m genuinely down to do any and all plots i mean that. i don’t say no to anything lol and want to do all the things, whether it’s mega death angst or something that’s so sweet it’ll make my teeth hurt. gimme everything, pls n thanks!

i’ve purposely left some gaps in her history in order to leave room for anything we cook up. people she was once in a group with / traveled with way back when could be cool. little acts of fate are my favorite - imagine the reunions! whether they hated each other, were familiar, or were thick as thieves is all good with me. 

if anyone wants to pick up the ex she wanted to start a family with, then i’d be willing to discuss that! they could be from any faction [except for the purged, logistically]. doesn’t have to be the actual person that got her pregnant either. jordan checked out after everything that happened and ultimately left without any warning, goodbye, or anything. surely that’s gotta rouse some intense feelings, especially if they just so happen to come across her again.. as fate and its shit sense of humor would have it. 

jordan can have some friends.. as a treat. hehe. seriously, give her someone to shoot the shit with and to annoy the hell out of!

friends with benefits / one night stands could be interesting, especially since jordan doesn’t really let very many people that close to her. keep in mind though, she’s the type to fuck someone and then never speak of it again which is very well-adjusted of her. 

jordan gets bit pretty early on in game, and by that i mean literally in january of 2044, lol. so, having someone help her with her wound could be interesting. i was thinking it could be some quid pro quo type of deal where she asks them for supplies in exchange for whatever they want, but i’m down to discuss any differing ideas / alter it to fit our characters. jordan wouldn’t want them to know what the supplies was for, but the opportunity for them to find out anyhow could still arise because who doesn’t love some good ole drama? 

someone that does not vibe with her / she doesn’t vibe with could be cool, too! not everything is peachy keen, you know?

exes / almost exes are one of my weaknesses. getting so close to someone that you end up on the other side of them is so bittersweet. i need it. jordan is a difficult individual, so maybe this was a will-they-won’t-they type of situation that never went anywhere, or it was silent pining, or whatever else we think of is all good with me. can have been unrequited or not, too. could be a relationship neither of them can leave well enough alone, or one that makes it difficult for them to ever go back to being friends - maybe there’s too much bitterness to see past. i just wanna paint some angsty little trees, man. 

[fortheloveoffanfic]

Don’t Go

Keanu Reeves x Reader. (Requested) A/n- this was sort of difficult to write, considering that suicide that even now,\ is an extremely sensitive topic, but I hope it’s been done justice and that no one has been offended or otherwise. Warning- Direct mentions of suicide and attempted suicide, depressed reader. 

“You could have it all, my empire of dirt,” - Nine inch Nails. 

Y/n sat on the balcony of her hotel room, leaning on the railing, looking down at the busy New York streets below. It all seemed so alive, a stark contrast to the way she had been feeling of late. The familiar feeling of hopeless despair welled up in her chest again,creating a tightness like none other. Gasping for breath, holding back burning tears, Y/n was left light headed with the realization of just how much she had spiraled. 

Just a couple months ago, she had travelled to New York, all bright eyed and busy tailed, on her way to start filming for a role that was supposed to be her big break. She was cast as the lead of a independent film, a drama alongside a Hollywood legend, Keanu Reeves. It was levels above one off characters in small televisions series, from being waitress #5 in a romantic comedy and an extra that no one would notice. The role was supposed to be Y/n’s way out of her vicious cycle of self pity and wallowing in what could be. The chance for her dreams to become her reality. Her opportunity to prove everyone wrong, prove that she could do this, that her dream meant something, that she hadn’t dropped out of college for nothing. This role had meant everything to her. But now it was gone.

Y/n had gotten the call just over a week ago, from the director, telling her that there was problem with funding, they were cancelling production and the movie was no more. The news had knocked the air right out of her, left her dropping down on to the nearest surface, offering a chocked goodbye as the line disconnected. Just like that her dreams were ruined and suddenly everyone who told her that she would never make it as an actress was right. The industry was cut throat, ever changing and unstable. Faces were forgotten, jobs went as fast as they came and not everyone was cut out for it. What made her think that she was? 

After that night, Y/n had slowly slipped into a state of disconnection that had only worsened her hurt. She stayed in the hotel that she could barely afford, probably racking up a debt that would send her scouting for any job that would pay at the very least, minimum wage, stopped taking her medication, she had ignored every text and phone call and had disappeared from social media. Y/n had ghosted life, taken a temporary check out. Until tonight, when she planned make her absence more....permeant.

Leaning over to the coffee table, Y/n grabbed up her phone, turning it on for the first time this week, opening up the messaging app. After selecting a few contacts, not a lot a couple close friends; her best friend who she had met in high school, a cousin back home who she was particularly close to and the man who had proven to be a great addition to her life, even if she had only known him for a few months, they had grown so close that it felt wrong to not offer him one final good bye, especially since he had spent the better part of the week trying to reach her; Keanu. Y/n’s fingers hovered over the screen, and then she typed.

Hey, I know its been a while since we’ve last spoken and I’m so sorry that I’ve been difficult to reach. Things have been hard, but I’ve finally realized what I have to do. What I need to do. I love you, and I’m so grateful for everything you’ve given me. You’ve been such a great friend, a diamond in the rough and I wouldn’t have made it this far without you. But I’m starting to think this far is far enough. I can’t go any further, I won’t.

As Y/n continued to type, her breath caught in a sob as her eyes blurred with tears. She was really going to do this. She didn’t want to, but at this point, a definite end seemed like to only remedy to the breath stealing pain in her center. 

I guess, in the end, all I really want is for you to know how much you’ve meant to me. How much you’ve helped. Thank you for loving me and making me wish I could love myself. Goodbye.

After a moment of hesitation, Y/n hit send. “This is it,” she sighed as quiet tears slipped down her cheeks. Standing and slipping out of her shoes, Y/n noticed for the for the first time how cold the night air felt against the exposed parts of her skin. For some reason, one she couldn’t quite understand, she straightened her dress, she had worn her favorite one tonight. A pale blue shift dress with happy little flowers about the garment. It had been a gift from her parents a while ago, from when they weren’t disappointed in her. 

As Y/n ran a final had through her hair, her phone rang on the glass table, the screen lighting up with her cousin’s name. Instead of answering, Y/n let it ring, until it went to voicemail. As quickly as it stopped, it started up again, it’s angry little noise filling the silence. It should have made her hopeful, encourage her to change her mind, but something inside Y/n told her that she was long past saving. And there was only one thing left to do when you couldn’t be saved. 

The wind dried whatever tears had escaped and carefully, Y/n threw one leg over the railing of the balcony, feeling the cool brass under her fingers. When she finally got the other leg over, she sat there for a while, looking down at the street, marveling at the bustling city that seemed brighter than it did during the day. No one could see her, and knew that she was invisible to the eyes below. No one would know what she was about to do until she finally did it. 

Her breathing slowed and Y/n was minutes away from final rest, peace and a chance to be free from the constant disappointment and pain. She was ready, she felt, so, so ready. In fact, she didn’t even hear the person stepping onto the balcony behind her, until he spoke up. “Wait. Please just wait.”

Keanu was at his apartment in Brooklyn when a text came in. He would never really consider himself as the kind of person who jumped up to check their phone, but something about they way it vibrated on the table with subtle urgency made him snatch it up faster than he ever had. It was a text from Y/n. He had been trying to reach her since he had gotten the news that they had cancelled production for a movie they were set to film together, though all his attempts had been to no avail. A glimmer of hope washed over him, however it didn’t last for long. 

His eyes quickly scanned the screen. Then, when he read it a second time, it was a little slower, to make sure his eyes weren’t deceiving him. Y/n hadn’t out rightly said it in her message, but she didn’t need to. This wasn’t just some text, it wasn’t an ‘I’m leaving New York’ goodbye, it was a final goodbye. 

Almost immediately, Keanu was running out of his apartment, hustling to get into his coat and onto his bike. He rode faster than he usually did, weaving through the traffic, probably breaking the speed limit and earning himself a ticket that would soon greet his mailbox. He didn’t care though. He had to get to her before it was too late.

At the hotel, Keanu hurried up to Y/n’s room after receiving her room number from the confused receptionist. As the elevator took its sweet time to transport him to the eighth floor, Keanu spent the precious moments praying that he wasn’t too late, “Don’t go....not yet,” he whispered under his breath, tapping his foot, holding back unshed tears. He couldn’t be late, Y/n didn’t deserve an end like this. She had to live, she was too young not to.

When Keanu was finally at the door, he didn’t bother with knocking, opting to try his luck at turning the knob. Surprisingly, it was unlocked and he headed straight inside. He soon found her, siting on the balcony railing, white knuckles clutching the gold painted metal, legs and bare feet dangling off the other side. Reaching out in a silent, unseen signal for her to stop, Keanu was careful not to touch her, he couldn’t afford to have Y/n jolting in surprise. His plea hurried out of his mouth, breathless and urgent, “Wait. Please just wait.”

Y/n slowly turned her red teary eyes to Keanu, “Why?” She asked and he could see her body trembling as she fought to contain a fit of sobs, “Its no use, I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?” Keanu asked, searching for the words that would help her see reason. Y/n just shrugged at his question and his heart leapt to his throat with her sudden yet subtle movement. “Y/n, please, just come down form there and we can talk about everything that’s bothering you. It doesn’t have to end this way.” It can’t.

“Yes, it does,” she argued defiantly, her voice breaking, “I hate the way my life is going. I hate that I’ve already fucked it up. I can’t stand the disappointments Keanu. I can’t stand myself. This is the only way.”

Inching closer to Y/n, Keanu tentatively reached out again, offering his hand, “No, its not. Y/n, you have your whole life ahead of you. God,” he sighed, “You’re only twenty one, do you really want to give up now? There’s so much left. And if you hate your life right now, it doesn’t mean you’ll hate it in a couple years from now or even next week. Things change, you just need to give them a chance. Please don’t do this,” he begged but Y/n didn’t budge. “Look,” Keanu took another step forward, hoping he could convince her with his next words, “Its probably not right to say that I understand what you’re feeling, so I won’t. All I’m asking is for you to give yourself a second chance. Do you remember what you said to me about second chances? That they’re gifts?” Keanu reminded her of something Y/n had said to him a couple months ago, “Give yourself a gift, right now.” 

Y/n seemed to weigh his words, her breathing quickened and then slowed before she put her hand in his, letting Keanu help her to floor then pull her into a tight hug. He kissed her hair sighing in relief. 

“What am I doing?” Y/n whispered, her face pressed against the leather of his jacket.

“Hurting,” Keanu held her tighter, “And that’s okay,” he kissed her forehead again reassuringly. Y/n broke into an episode of body racking sobs, soaking Keanu’s shirt with salty tears. He didn’t mind in the slightest though, he’d prefer tear stained t-shirts over having her jump any day.

“Do you want to talk?” Keanu asked sometime later. They were sitting on the sofa in the small living room. Y/n was wrapped in a thick blanket, cuddled to Keanu’s chest as he soothingly passed his hands over her hair.

“I don’t know,” she said quietly. After a few seconds, she continued, “I just feel so lost and hopeless....and alone. And I didn’t want to feel like that anymore, I still don’t”

Keanu squeezed her shoulders comfortingly, resting his chin on her head, “You’re not alone Y/n, and as long as I’m here, you never will be. I wish you had called, I would have come in a heartbeat.”

She sniffled, “I know,” Y/n responded quietly, tearing up again, “I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. Just remember that whenever you feel like this, I’ll be right here, no matter what, because this world, my life, is so much better with you in it. And there’s a lot left for you to experience, don’t kill the parts of yourself that haven’t lived yet.”

“Thank you. For being here tonight,” Y/n said, her voice growing distant with tire.

“I’ll always be here. And thank you for not leaving.” Keanu planted one last kiss to Y/n’s hair before she was lulled to sleep by the steady sound of Keanu’s heartbeat, ready to give herself and her life, a second chance.

[hostiias]

NOW HOLD IT RIGHT THERE SWEET PEA!! I SAW THAT FROWN! 

           I know life can be rough and gets you down but don’t let it keep ya there ok? You are a precious being that the universe spent thousands of years planning for. You are here and if you remain you will find your starlight again, even if it all seems dark right now. 

               Point is you don’t gotta do it alone so here’s Nims abc’s of self-care, self-love, and respect !!

A: Attend. Attend those events you wanted; the ones you’ve been looking forward to. You might be nervous but if you don’t go and give it a try you’ll never know! We’ll all be here for you whether you go off to do something or not; trust that your writing partners don’t mind the wait at all !!

B: Believe. Believe that it’s ok to have hope in things; have faith that it’s alright to be vulnerable. The right people will accept you as you are--but you won’t find them if you aren’t willing to try. Shutting down and mistrusting everyone won’t get you anywhere darlin; the bravest thing you can do is keep going. 

C: Cuddle. Cuddle your blankets, your pet, your stuffies, your friends, your partners--have a cuddle buddy. Human touch might not be a full option for you right now but hold something close to your chest and enjoy the feeling of something you value being pressed into your treasured form. 

D: Drink. Drink water! I know it might not be the most interesting or fun but your body really needs it. If you find that water by itself doesn’t work, mix it 50/50 with a thick juice. Staying hydrated is the best way to keep yourself feeling up to snuff! 

E: Empathize. Empathize with yourself. Yes everyone else is important too; it’s ok to try and put yourself in other peoples shoes but look at yourself with the same understanding. You’ve had your own share of troubles and challenges that tested your well--everything. You’re doing amazing with the tools you’ve been given--don’t forget that. Have a little grace for yourself yeah?

F: Food. Food also will help empower your brain and your body to be the best it can be. You might not always be able to handle a lot, if anything, but try. If you need eat something light like toast or keep snacks around that you can munch on; just keep a little something in your stomach when you can! 

G: Garbage. Garbage isn’t really very hygienic and sometimes when you’re depressed you have a hard time picking up after yourself. I get it! But if you leave your space full of trash you’ll feel like trash...and that’s just no good! Take some time to gather it all up and throw it away so your environment can feel cleaner !!

H: Hear. Hear what others say because you are only human and it is alright to make mistakes; you are hardly expected to be perfect. It’s alright to have slipped up--let them speak, apologize, grow. There’s no need to bring yourself down for it, others only speak up to help you learn. Not only that but hear their opinions and their stories; keep an open mind to things you learn in case it is wrong. 

I: Inspiration. Inspiration is your best friend. It doesn’t matter what that is...if something helps bring out your creative side, let it shine! You don’t need to hide the things that feed into your hobbies and your plans; they are wonderful and you should treasure them. 

J: Justified. Justified to be unapologetically you. Justified to have feelings and want to feel them. You are not less for not always being able to react or behave in the way the world expects you to; you are unique after all and it’s ok to be that way. You don’t owe anyone anything. 

K: Karma. Karma is your ally and your friend. You do not need to seek vengeance, justice, or retribution for those who wronged you--their time will come. Focus on being better; focus on being the person they said you couldn’t be. Prove them wrong and let karma worry about the punishments for their bullshit--you just focus on being the royalty you are. 

L: Laundry. Laundry is rough because you have to wash it, dry it, then fold and put it away. how can you make it fun? Can you put on music and jam out? Maybe there’s a game you can play while waiting between loads. Watch a movie and/or tv show while you do it (especially folding)! No one said it had to be boring, you can and should make it enjoyable! Maybe start with clothes you think you’ll need for the week (underwear, work clothes, etc) so what you need gets done first; take the rest a little at a time. Sometimes if you’re behind just doing one load a day helps wittle it down without it being overwhelming. 

M: Memory. Memories are invaluable and you shouldn’t fear or be ashamed of any of them. If your memory is embarrassing, learn from it--or maybe it’s the other people in it that should feel embarrassed !! Your memories are who make you you and it would be a shame to not be yourself. Hold onto your past, keep it like a photobook in your life so when you need them most--you can look back on them and hold your head high. 

N: Notice. Notice the actions of others. Compare how people treat you to how the people you encourage in others lives treat each other. If someone did the things they do to you to one of your friends, would you encourage them to stay in contact? Or would you tell your friend to get the hell out? Sometimes we accept less than we deserve and tell others to expect more--but you deserve just as much respect as they do. You are not less for being you. 

O: Open. Open up about your past when you feel you can trust someone; to your counselor or the parent figure in your life. Open your heart to the possibility of change. I know it’s scary and you feel like a burden but the more open you are, the stronger your lasting relationships will be. Communication is key!

P: Plan. Planning is no ones favorite thing and yeah you know sometimes they change, but it’s ok to have a course charted out. Sure life might tell you that your plans need to change and throw you in a way you didn’t expect--but no one said plans had to be set in stone! Just like the outline for your paper--a plan is an outline for your life, not the whole thing. You’ll get where your going one way or another--just set yourself on the right course and the rest of it will work out. 

Q: Quiet. Quiet is so demonized because as humans we are used to being surrounded by noise and sometimes your depression makes you afraid of silence. But then while being left alone with your own thoughts is hard it’s not bad if the quiet is by choice. Choose to go out for a walk, get out of town for a few days, expose yourself to the quiet of nature; a gentle white noise. Maybe a good book would be a nice change of pace; just the rustle of the world and pages. It’s ok to revel in the silence--however you do it. Quiet is not always bad, it’s ok to seek it out. 

R: Respect. Respect is earned not given--bullshit! Respect is given but can be taken away. You should always respect others as they should respect you! But if they abuse that respect? Oh hell nah honey you yank that shit away. Respect is given, but they have to keep earning it every day. You’ve earned that shit already, but that doesn’t mean other people have earned it from you. Don’t forget that !!

S: Shower. Shower because you need it. I hate them as much as the next person but a clean you feels a lot better inside, trust me. Have a clean set of clothes waiting for you so not only your skin--but your clothes feel clean. Or you know, just revel in the feeling of your own skin; I’m not here to judge. Plus you know hot water feels really good on sore muscles !!

T: Tea. Tea is my favorite thing in the world! Do you like it too? There’s so many options both herbal and non-herbal! I really like black tea with a spoonful of honey and some milk--but I really like my stress-reliever herbal tea. There’s nothing more soothing than holding a warm cup in your hands and just letting that heat soak into your bones--speaking of you probably have a cup waiting for you !! (could be coffee or cocoa too, we don’t bring that debate here!)

U: Undefined. Undefined is you, my dear. It doesn’t matter how old you are, how long you’ve been around--it’s never too late to figure things out; to change how you see yourself. My mother is 65 and going back to school--learning she is non-binary. You don’t need to figure it all out now; you don’t need to have all the answers or labels. You can keep changing, keep growing, keep redefining yourself--because the only person who gets to say who you are or who you aren’t--is you. 

V: Victory. Victories are hard fought, no matter how small...and you should celebrate them !! Even if it’s just a little dance--celebrate it !! You wanna gush about this seemingly insignifigant thing? Hell yeah, do it !! Did you get out of bed this morning? Victory !! Did you brush your teeth? Victory !! Did you say something positive about yourself instead of using self-degrading language? VICTORY !!

W: Wish. Wishing on stars was something you heard about a lot as kids--well it’s ok to still do it !! Who said you had to stop wishing on stars? Who said you were too old? It’s ok to have dreams !! It’s ok to have child-like wonder and ideas. You don’t have to be bored and cynical about the world just cause others say you do. If a kids hobby/show/book/etc makes you happy? Fuck how old you are, you can still enjoy the thing !!

X: x-pect. Expect that you should be treated well; that being with someone makes you feel at ease and at peace (yes I know I’m cheating with this one shhh). Who said that all the cheesy things you see about friendship and romances in movies can’t be true? Like yeah ok it isn’t always like that and there’s hard work that goes into it...but that doesn’t mean it can’t be true !! You don’t need to doubt someones sincerity just because it reminds you of fiction. Reality is what inspires fiction after all, is it not? It’s ok to have a life sound track and it’s ok for your relationships (platonic or otherwise) to feel larger than life !!

Y: Yell. Yell for joy, yell out of anger, yell just cause you want to. I don’t know who made you feel like you needed to be quiet all the time but that’s just not true !! I mean there are times to keep your voice low and times to be mindful of your volume, but it doesn’t have to be all the time. You can be loud !! It’s ok to be !! Sometimes it’s the only way you feel heard and sometimes you’re just so PUMPED that you gotta let the whole world know--so do it !! Be loud and be proud !!

Z: Zen. Be at peace with yourself, darling. I know that things are hard and sometimes you have to fight like hell to stay--but it’s gonna be ok. It doesn’t have to be ok yesterday, today, or even tomorrow. It can sting and you can let it weigh on you. You can take up space--you can ask for a shoulder to lean on--because there is so much space out there and that means there’s more than enough for you in the world, and here in my heart. 

Remember that you are loved, that I love you and we’ll get through this together--one letter at a time !!

[awolfhasnoname]

Her Hound, His Wolf

Part Four

Warnings: Swearing, angst, mentions of blood/fighting, usual GoT warnings

Words:1.6K

Disclaimer:I do not own any of the characters or gif(s) used below

After her argument with her father Y/N put on some of her less flashy garments and a raggedy cloak that covered her body with a large hood to hide her face before heading to a tavern in flea bottom. The floor was but dirt and the people were not those she was usually in company of. She sat in a quieter corner of the tavern and ordered the barmaid to keep her ale coming. She couldn’t believe how life had changed since living in Winterfell, true she fought with her father sometimes but she never would’ve spoken to him the way she had today. She felt a mix of emotions, guilt for the way she left things with Eddard, sadness for the future expected of her, but mostly she found her thoughts lingering to Sandor.

If everyone including him wanted her to stop talking to him then why was she pushing for this friendship. As if she had called him with her thoughts Sandor appeared through the doors of the tavern. The large man causing everyone to hush their conversations and move out of the way of his large frame. Y/N put her head down in hopes to hide herself as she continued drinking her ale

She heard the large man walk straight past her and sighed a breath of relief. She didn’t hear him come back to her table just as she took another sip of her ale, “What in seven hells are you doing here wolf.”

“I have a name you know and it isn’t wolf.” She stated matter of factly as if he hadn’t asked a question at all. “I don’t give a fuck what yer name is, now don’t make me ask again.”

The little wolf just rolled her eyes “Sit with me Sandor?” He just stood there looking as her hand gestured to the seat across from her. She began to prepare herself for him to reject her kindness for the second time today but he sat down. His gaze on her, obviously still expecting an answer from her “I got into a fight with my father,” she sighed. “I told ya hanging with a dog like me will get ya into trouble.” Already being a few drinks in and not being in the mood to deal with anyone’s shit she snapped at him “And why do you assume it’s about you, and even if it is why do you care? You made it clear today to stay away from you but here you are sat across from me, asking me questions.” Sandor narrowed his eyes at the girl across from him, just as he was preparing a retort the doors to the tavern opened again this time Ser Meryn Trant walked in.

Y/N immediately froze before pulling the hood further over her face and she saw Sandor’s body shift, become more rigid. Meryn walked in and strode over to their table, Sandor stood trying to keep Y/N out of view, “Is the company you keep so ugly that they have to cover their face, Dog? Or are they just too ashamed to be seen with you?” The knights behind him laughed and the little wolf could feel the anger spread through her and she gripped the dagger she had hidden on her. Sandor stepped forward causing Trant to move backwards, “Come on Dog, share your whore. I’m sure she would prefer us to you any way.” She had had enough, the wolf inside her ready to bare its teeth. She stood and went to move around Sandor. He just sighed knowing where this was going. “See Dog, she’s quick to leave your side.”

Trant went to reach for her, as soon as he got close enough Y/N removed her hood and pressed her dagger up against Ser Meryn’s neck. “Call me a whore or him a dog again and I will gut you like a fucking fish.” she released Trant as he dropped down, “Lady Y/N, my apologies. Please let me take you back to your father where you won’t be in such unpleasant company.” He eyed Sandor as he said this. “I’m fine where I am.” She didn’t bother putting her hood back on this time she felt safe enough with Sandor around.

He just grunted at Trant as he sat back down to enjoy his ale. He only spoke once the guards left the tavern. “You’re going to get us both killed one day, stupid wolf.”

Y/N kept drinking more ale, finally asking the question she had been curious about all day.

“What did you say to Sir Loras today? She asked ignoring his previous comment.

He looked at her and then back down to his ale, “Nothing.” A smile finally graced her face “liar.” She retorted, earning a slight growl from the large man. “Come on Sandor, just tell me.”

He sighed knowing she wouldn’t give up on the conversation. “Ya can do better than a fucking pillow bitter, that’s all.” Y/N couldn’t help the heat that crept up onto her face, although his words were always harsh she could see the underlying meaning behind them.

“Don’t worry Sandor, he’s not my type.” She says looking the tall man across from her directly in the eyes. Noticing the moment his scowl faded for a split second before he replaced it. “What a rich lord that can give you everything you want?” She scoffed before continuing “You don’t need to be a rich lord to be deserving of someone’s love” Sandor waited for her to laugh before realizing she was serious.

“Aye little wolf, you’d have a nobody like me take you out the back and fuck you bloody then?”

But he can’t scare you off that easily “Oh Sandor, don’t tempt me,” sending a wink his way. She couldn’t help but giggle at the wide-eyed expression on his face. Once again being replaced by his scowl as he composed himself.

Looking down at his ale mumbling “I’m sure there are plenty of other cunt lords that will be your type.”

“You’re just so fucking blind aren’t you.” Y/N growl at him before getting up and walking out. He skulls the rest of his ale and turns to follow her. He follows a few steps behind her not wanting to participate in any conversation. The only times he gets close to her is when she stumbles, the ale obviously in effect. It wasn’t until they were walking up the steps towards her chambers when she fell. Luckily, he was there ready to catch her, scooping her up in his arms she looked at him.

This was the closest they had ever been, faces just inches away. She cupped her hand on the side of his cheek, Sandor tensed under the touch immediately but didn’t remove her hand, “did you want to hear what my type is?” She practically whispered. “You’re drunk Y/N, let’s get you to your chambers.”

But of course, being the stubborn woman she was, Y/N kept talking anyway. “It’s a bit specific so sorry if I go on. He has to be tall and strong.” “Will you shut the fuck up wolf.” He growled as he opened her chamber door. She just giggled, looking straight at him she continued, “a mouth as vulgar as mine,” he actually gave a small huff to this you could almost call it a laugh. He lay her down on the bed and went to walk away, “Sandoooorrr I’m not finished yet,” she pouted like a small child, the way she drunkenly called out his name held him there facing her, “Kind eyes and a good heart, he may not think he has one, he may have made mistakes in the past, but I’ve seen it. This ones got a good heart.” She started drifting off and Sandor felt like he couldn’t move, glued to the spot. He couldn’t process what she was saying, still too in disbelief. There’s no way she was talking about him. She couldn’t have been. Why would a beauty like her, a lady, want anything to do with a dog? He stood there for a moment just watching her sleep, she looked so peaceful.

“I’d like a word.” Sandor spun around, hand on his sword at the ready to protect this girl at any cost. Eddard stood in the doorway eyebrows furrowed but the hint of a smile on his face at Sandor’s reaction. “Come on Clegane, let her rest.”

Sandor kept his hand on the hilt of his sword, unsure of how this chat was going to go. Back at the chamber of the hand Eddard offered him a seat, Sandor just ignored the request, wanting this conversation over and done with. “Why were you with her tonight?” Eddard asked with no emotion in his voice. “I found her drinking in a tavern in Flea Bottom, thought I’d better bring her back here before she gets herself into more trouble.”

“I know you care for her.” Eddard stated

“I’m just here to do my fucking job,” but before Sandor could continue Eddard cut him off, “I need you to protect her Clegane. The king is on his death bed due to a hunting incident. If I can’t get them out of here in time I need to know you will stop any harm from coming to them.” Eddard looked defeated as Sandor watched the way he paced across the room. “And trust her, her instincts are good. Even if I don’t always approve of them.” Eddard says as he looks the hound up and down.

Sandor had no more quip remarks, no sarcasm or fight in his voice. He saw the fear in Eddard’s eyes and knew at this moment he would do whatever it took to protect his young wolf.

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