#they never look right no matter how hard i try

[giannaln4]

I'm Sorry

lando norris x fem reader

summary: A moment of frustration made Lando react the way you never thought he would, and boy, would he regret it.  (1.6k words)

warnings: angst, swearing, argument, mean lando,  fluffy ending

a/n: ok so for this, i decided to go back to Baku and put the quali result in a totally different perspective than my last fic. i guess i kinda like it but i'm not very good at describing arguments 😭 anyway pls let me know what you think!!

ALSO i have an announcement to make and i'm really excited for it :)

check out the original request here!

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The qualifying this weekend was an absolute mess, to say the least. Lando was hard on himself no matter the result he got. Even if it was good, he would always find something to criticise himself, but P17? Everyone was in for a treat, you thought.

The worst part is that it wasn’t even his fault; it was a stupid mistake by the marshals, and he was not to blame for it. A yellow flag interrupted his lap, and he was immediately kicked out in Q1. 

Seeing the first qualifying session being over with his name in red was not something anyone wanted to see, especially not him, and now that every point was essential, you knew it crushed him.

He came back to the garage to see the rest of the qualifying with his team, and as soon as he got out of the car, you saw how frustrated he was. You understood him, of course, it sucked that this is how the weekend was going, but you would be there for him no matter what.

Once Lando took off his helmet, he headed straight to his driver’s room, and he didn’t even look at you when he walked past. That meant he wanted to be alone, but oh silly you, you decided to follow him.

He let out a loud sight when he heard the door open and close behind him, not really in the mood to hear what you had to say. He knew for a fact you were going to tell him he did well and it wasn’t his fault, which he greatly appreciated, but right now, he just wanted to suffer in peace.

“Baby?” You called him out, just testing the waters, but he didn’t respond. Instead, he hummed in annoyance. “I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but-”

“You are right, I don’t want to hear it,” he interrupted you, not even turning around to face you. He placed his hands on the desk and leaned into it, taking a deep breath. 

That should have been your cue to leave the small room and leave him alone, but for some reason you didn’t. “Lando, don't beat yourself up over this. It wasn’t your fault, and I’m sure things will be better tomorrow. We all know what you can do and you still have the race-“

“This is MY job, Y/N. I probably know better than you do,” he snapped, raising his voice and finally turning around. “This is what I’m fighting for, we all are. Do you know what’s at stake here? I finally have the chance to compete for a championship, and I just blew it.”

To say you were astonished was an understatement; this was the first time he ever snapped at you that way and you didn’t know how to react. “I’m sorry, I just-”

“Every point counts, and not even starting in the top 10 tomorrow- fuck, not even top 15, there is not much I can do.” Now, he looked more mad at you than frustrated at himself, and that crushed you. “I came here to be alone for a bit, I was hoping you would at least respect that." You stayed silent, knowing a single sound would make you cry, and you didn’t want to piss him off more than he already was. “I know you are trying to help, but you are not, you can’t.”

You just stared at him, tears threatening to leave your eyes; he had never raised his voice at you in a heated moment, and it hurt like hell. You definitely should have stayed outside. 

He walked towards the door and stepped out of the room without uttering another word, leaving you alone to deal with your own feelings. 

As soon as the door was closed, you started crying. It was your own fault, really; you could always read him like a book, even today, and you knew better than to disturb him when you weren’t supposed to, but today for some reason you just couldn't keep your mouth shut. Idiot.

You tried to calm yourself down; the last thing Lando needed was to see you cry on top of his result, but it was harder than you expected. This being the first time an argument got so out of hand made you feel absolutely terrible, especially because it was your fault. Deep down, you knew he didn’t mean it, you knew it was his feelings talking, but that didn’t make it any less painful.

A few minutes went by and you could still hear the cars out on track, the mumbling of the team, and people constantly working out there, so you tried to use that as a distraction. Anything to take your mind off what just happened. 

Unfortunately, it didn’t help, but at least you ran out of tears, and now you were just staring at a blank wall, thinking how you could begin to apologise for earlier, if he would even give you the chance to. 

Truth is, you weren’t sure if bringing it up again would be a good idea; you wanted to apologise for disrupting his cooldown moment, but what if hearing that made him mad again? Or worse, what if you didn’t apologise and made the situation even bigger? Your spiralling made you lose track of time, and a knock on the door pulled you out of your thoughts. 

“The car is about to leave, Y/N, they are waiting for you,” you heard someone say on the other side of the door. You were at least hoping Lando would come and get you once it was time to go back to the hotel, but he didn’t.

“Thanks, I will be there in a minute,” you replied, grabbing your things and Lando’s before sprinting outside. 

The car ride was hell. Lando didn’t look at you the entire time; he was just staring at his phone, texting who knows who, his face as neutral as ever. It felt longer than it actually was, and when you finally got there, he just stepped out of the car and didn’t look back. You let out a sigh and followed him, leaving a prudent distance between the two of you. 

Once you were in the hotel room, you both started to get ready for bed, like you usually did, except this time, you didn’t acknowledge each other. 

That was until you were already on your side of the bed and he came out of the bathroom, taking the spot next to you and burying his face on his phone again. The entire time you were building up the courage to say something, anything, now that you decided that apologising was the right thing to do.

“Lando?” You called for him, but again, he just hummed in response. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You were right, I shouldn’t have said anything, and I should have respected that you just wanted to be alone.”

That’s when it hit him. How could he get so mad at you for trying to make him feel better? 

He dropped his phone and turned to face you, and noticing your sad expression and teary eyes broke him. His eyes softened as guilt washed over him. Why were you apologising when he was the one who reacted like that? But as soon as you looked down at your hands to avoid eye contact and tears started falling down your face again, he felt even worse. 

“Y/N… Baby, I’m so sorry.” He got closer to you, softly taking your cheeks in his hands to get you to look at him. “Please don’t cry, I’m sorry I acted like a dick and raised my voice at you,” he stared, wiping your tears away, carefully thinking about what else he could say. 

You, on the other hand, didn’t know how to react. Your plan was to apologise and hopefully move on, but now that he was apologising, you didn’t know what to say; you didn’t want him to feel guilty, even though it was his fault you were in that position right now. If only he took a different approach. 

“It wasn’t your fault, okay? You were just trying to help, and I should have appreciated that, you know that I do, I just... I don’t know, there is no excuse for what I did.” But you were still silent and trying to avoid eye contact. “Baby, say something.” 

“Lando, you yelled at me.” You finally replied, your voice a bit muffled by your tears.

“I know, I shouldn’t have done that, and I promise I’ll never do it again.”

After a minute of silence, you just nodded, which made him let out a sigh of relief. “Okay.”

“Okay? I’m sorry, my love.” He pulled you into a hug, your head on his chest as he placed a soft kiss on your head. “I know I was a dick, and I really wish I was nicer about it.”

“It’s okay, I get it; you were frustrated with your result, and I should’ve known better than to interfere with what you were feeling.”

“No, it’s not okay. I was frustrated, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” Lando was rubbing your back softly, trying to bring you the comfort you tried to give him earlier. “I love you, and I can’t describe how much I appreciate everything you do for me; I know having to deal with my shit is not easy, so thank you.”

“It’s fine, I mean it.” You looked up at him, locking eyes finally in the entire day. “Just... don’t push me away, okay? And if you do need to be alone, just say it, and I promise I will listen next time.”

“Okay, sounds good.”

He gently placed a hand on your check, rubbing small circles before leaning in for a kiss, one both of you much needed. And with one final ‘I love you’, you feel asleep in his arms.

[madamechrissy]

Silent Serenades

♔ An arranged Marriage with Duke Gojo ♔

♔ Pairings: Satoru Gojo x you - in this chap it's Satoru Gojo x mistress, Nanami x you It's messy and will get messier :)

♔ Warnings: Sex, infidelity, mentions of past self harm, panic attacks, cheating on both ends, cruelty from Duke Gojo. OOC. ANGST. Say hello to Mr. Nanami hehe. Gojo is TERRIBLE still, you're warned

♔ Word count this chap: 7.8k

♔ Summary: you are the diamond of the season, he is the charming Duke, it’s the marriage of the decade. Prominent families joining, and it so happens that Duke Gojo is gorgeous. But, he doesn't want you, and now you're trapped in a loveless arranged marriage. Royal AU, dark bridgerton vibes, Cruel Gojo x reader. OOC Set in 1800s England. Gojo is awful at first, HEAVY angst Basically- Gojo is a royal dick and doesn't wanna marry you

♔Part Two - ♔ Playlist ♔ Masterlist

Part Three

The next day, you had your Nanny help you dress into a simple blue dress that hugged your curves just right, but wasn’t too revealing. You had your hair up in a neat bun, with little ringlets framing your face, along with a little bonnet that has a pretty blue ribbon wrapped around under your chin.

“You look stunning, Lady Gojo.” She says softly, and you smile at her in the mirror.

“Thank you, Nan. I feel more… determined this morning. I shall have a good day, no matter what.” You say with a little smile, and she hugs you tight, you hesitantly head down the grand, winding staircase, and when you turn toward the door you bump right into Satoru’s hard body.

“Oof!” You nearly fall, but for some reason he catches you, his arm wrapping your waist before you careen on your backside. You gasp, looking up at him then, and his face is soft for just a moment as he holds you, as he looks at your face carefully, then lower. “I’m so clumsy. I’m sorry.”

He eases you to stand, adjusting his own blue suit that he is wearing, along with a brocade vest and elegantly tied cravat. His trousers are clinging to his well formed thighs, along with a glimmering pair of hessian boots. You may despise him but the man clearly dresses impeccably, something you also do, though he’d likely never admit such things.

“You are quite clumsy indeed. Off to town?” He asks, he’s brushing himself off as if to get the touch of you away. You nod nervously, looking down a bit, fiddling with the lace on your dress.

“I am indeed, do you need anything while I am out? The modiste is right by all sorts of shops.” You ask, earning a raised brow, pursed full lips… his eyes raking over you cruelly. You tense.

“I need nothing from you but for you to not exist, perhaps.” You gasp then, stepping back at the insanely harsh words, from nothing. He sighs, blinking a bit, running a hand through silky white hair before looking at you, then when he sees your tears, his haughty expression changes.

You say nothing, as you feel your chest pounding with your heart’s rhythm, your throat constricting. Composed and perfect, how!? How when you try so hard to be kind and he so casually destroys you, destroys that positivity you’d cultivated this morning. You tremble as you fight your tears, but soon they’ve overtaken you, and you’ve turned away, clutching your throat as it wracks through you.

You’re damn near hyperventilating when he has a hand on your shoulder, that burns you and fills you with disgust. “I shouldn’t have said that, are you…” You turn to glare up at him through your tears, and it’s the first time you see emotion in his face, his eyes swirling with a thin film of moisture. “I shouldn’t have.”

“I try so hard… every day… to just… to just…” You can’t breathe now, and you can feel the blood pressure rising, you can feel your fingertips go numb as your lungs refuse to work.

“Please, let’s sit, you’re-”

“Hands… off…” You’re practically wheezing now, but Gojo doesn’t remove his damn hands, he’s trying to lead you to sit down on the steps, and you’re smacking at him through the blurry vision of your tears.

“Can I get you something, you don’t look good. You-”

“You… don’t… care. Let me… not breathe…” You feel like you’ll faint then and there, as your hands press on your throat, and Gojo is gripping your shoulders, turning you around then, before you know it he’s yanked at your corset strings, loosening them, and you finally get a breath, leaned over the rail, shaking.

He’s rubbing you right between your shoulder blades as you sit on the step in front of him, trembling as oxygen comes back. You hate his touch, you hate him, you hate him so much. “Breathe.”

You want to laugh, but you can’t manage to.

Breathe as if it’s so simple.

It’s quiet as he’s rubbing your back, and it feels… calming, and you hate it, hate his touch, with his long, elegant fingers brushing bare skin. “I’m quite alright now, you may go. Do not let me ruin your day.”

His hand pauses its gentle brushes, now one is sliding down to your shoulder, and his exhale makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. “You lace your corset far too tightly, it’s digging into your back.” He makes you tremble as he runs his touch down the red criss cross marks left on your delicate skin.

“I have to make sure I don’t look bigger to you than I already do to you.” You whisper harshly, and he laughs, dark and husky.

“I already said that wasn’t true. Don’t expect me to repeat that.”

“Yes, well. Why not let me stop breathing, it would solve your problems, wouldn’t it?” You turn then, chest heaving as your body greedily sucks in breaths. “You wouldn’t have to look upon my face again.”

He blinks a bit, lips setting in a terse line as his jaw clenches, hands falling down to his sides. “I shouldn’t have said it that way.”

“Is that one of your half ass apologies again? What have I done to deserve any of this, I ask again. Any of this.”

“You need to calm down, you’re all red again.” He’s touching an overheated cheek, so you smack his hand away, earning a more typical glare from him.

“There were times I wished I didn’t exist.” You rub that scar then, looking away in the distance, your heart starts to slow down finally. His eyes dart to the action and he takes your hand in his, looking down in confusion, you yank it back quickly.

He gulps now, eyes locked there, looking visibly more pale. “I did not mean I wished you dead. I meant… not in my life.”

You blink back that emotion, wishing you could fully hide your reactions, but he pushes you until you’ll break. “I also wish I wasn’t in your life, Duke.”

You both sit there, hatred and anger lingering between you, forcing you to stand then, swiping at your face. “You cried.”

“Imagine that. Even I have a breaking point.” You adjust your dress then, as he stands, tall and looming over you.

“Turn, I’ll fix them looser.” You want to argue, but you cannot tie your own corset, so you oblige, and he begins to tie them, firm but not too tightly, deft fingers working each ribbon. “Corsets are nonsense. I don’t enjoy them. Too much work to make a woman naked.” You laugh humorlessly at that, as he keeps lacing you up.

“Well good news for you, you’ll never have to take one off me.” You quip, making him pause, stepping just a little closer, sending shivers down your spine.

He clears his throat, continuing on now. “That’s true. Thank God for that.”

You blink in anger, struggling to hold it in. “Indeed. I’m sure I’m quite hideous to you, aren’t I?”

He says nothing for a moment, hands on the ribbons of your corset just paused there, as you both breathe heavily in the entryway of the Manor. “I have not seen your body to make such judgments.”

“I’d never show you, fret not. Imagine, the first man that sees me naked tells me how disgusting I am. I’ll make sure the one who does finds me beautiful. Ah!”

He ties it tight finally, and just stays there behind you. “So eager for another man to see you naked?”

“No, I’m not, but I know the one I choose will find me beautiful. Not passable, or adequate.” You turn now, looking up at him, seeing the anger in his gaze. “Imagine if every time I saw you shirtless I said ‘unattractive’.”

He scoffs at that. “Tch, you wouldn’t, who would?”

You scoff then, smiling a bit. “Who would say that to me if they saw me topless? I assure you, nobody would.”

His eyes dart back down then, to your breasts, pushed high and full, tantalizing his gaze, but they then trail back to your pretty face. “You’re awfully confident about such things.”

“Yes well, you won’t ruin that for me too. You already have ruined my life. You will not take the confidence I built, hard as you try.”

“An abundance of it.”

“So men can have it, but women cannot? You wish for a simpering little chit to beg ‘oh Satoru, please call me pretty!’ That must be why you enjoy Miss Catherine so bloody much, and why you hate me.” You’re putting the back of your hand to your head, simpering, and earning a sharp laugh and a scowl.

“You expect men to fawn over you, as they always have, just like Lord Geto did last night, hmm?” You smile as you remember just how much Geto did think you were beautiful, and Satoru’s eyes narrow at that.

“No, I expect kindness and not cruelty. I expect to have a morning where I’m not told to not exist.” Gojo looks down, his broad shoulders hunched. “All I asked was if you needed something. You’re the cruelest person I’ve met, and you thrive in it.”

His cheeks turn red, as he looks down at your lips, eyes lingering where you've left teeth indentations from biting so hard. “You don’t even know me.”

“You don’t know me. And you never will, by your own choice.” You push past him then, and he stops you with a hand on your wrist. “What!?”

“Do you have the money I left for you in your room?” You laugh at that, a bark of laughter really, why does he insist on lingering and hurting you more and more!?

“Yes, I do.”

“You may also put anything you want on my credit. Jewelry, or shoes, ribbon, whatever you require.”

“I won’t use your money for more than necessary.”

“I’ll not have my wife with a bare neck, and there’s a masquerade coming. Purchase a mask and jewelry accordingly.”

You sigh, looking down at where he still holds your wrist, big hand taking the delicate thing over. “Fine, then, I shall do so.”

“Very well.” He lets you go slowly, but he lingers there, like the pest he’s becoming “Are you fine to go out in this warm weather after nearly fainting?”

“What do you care, it could eliminate your problem. You’d get my insanely high dowry and I’ll be gone.” You smile coldly back at him, his mouth is open, his pretty eyes sorrowful.

“I-”

“Goodbye, your grace. Tell Catherine hello when you fuck her for me.” You walk out then, slamming the manor doors behind you, pressing your back against them and struggling to come to.

Just when you think he cannot get more cruel, he does, and he’s forcing this dark part of you that you don’t know what to think of.

It’s a bit of a drive into town in the grand carriage, but the air is crisp and the horses are moving swiftly. You see the little shops as you pull up, the horses clipped and clopped on the cobblestone streets. The numerous people are all dressed in their Sunday best, couples holding hands, and it’s quite the sight.

The modiste is a charming little shop with a bell that tinkles when you walk in, and immediately a flurry of activity starts. The women inside all look up at you, gasping. “Your Grace! What brings you to us?”

You blink, as the woman who had called out is a beautiful woman with a pretty accent, she has light blue braids that decorate her pretty face, making her look mysterious. “Hello Miss Mei! I wish to pick out some new dresses for the season, it’s been a while since I’ve had any new ones made, also we have the masquerade soon which is the priority. Would you mind helping me?”

“Oh, of course, of course!” She says, bustling over, she’s tall and curved and so elegant. “Let’s get you into the back so we can have a proper look, shall we?” She grabs your hand and pulls you back into the back, as you realize the woman’s quite strong.

“Your Grace, we are so honored to be of service to you!” Her assistant, Utahime, is a delicate and pretty brunette, who cheerfully greets you. You smile over at her.

“Please, just call me Lady Gojo for now. I am not feeling so formal today, and I’d like to enjoy your company without the title weighing on us, if that’s okay?” They both nod eagerly, and they get to work, pulling out fabrics and dresses, asking your opinions.

It’s refreshing to be around such genuine cheer, such pure love for their craft, and you find yourself smiling more and more as you look over the fabrics, for a beautiful moment your cruel husband isn’t in your mind. Utahime holds up a deep blue that matches his eyes, though, but it’s beautiful. You sigh.

“Oh, yes, that’s lovely!”

“It’s perfect, Lady Gojo! And it’ll compliment your husband so nicely!” She says, as Mei Mei agrees, holding up a silver one. “This would be for a masquerade?”

“I’d like to think so, yes. I’ve not been to one in so long!”

The girls giggle a bit, as they start pulling out designs, and your mind drifts off to a past you’ve pushed aside. You’d gone to a masquerade once, before you’d met Gojo, and you’d felt so alive, dancing with a mysterious stranger, feeling his hands on you, feeling so desired. He was blond, wasn’t he!?

You’d been so young then, you still were but twenty one, but you were perhaps seventeen when you’d danced in his arms, and you can remember those glimmering hazel eyes drinking you in, a lazy smile on his face. You’d fancied yourself in love then and there, just a teenager of course, and you two had almost kissed on one of the balconies.

He’d cupped your face so delicately, and your eyes had fluttered shut. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve seen, darling.”

“You’re the most handsome man I’ve seen, Sir.” You’d tip toed, finger lifting at his mask teasingly, making him laugh. “Even more handsome I imagine without this.”

“I should say the same.” He begins to lift your mask then, off your face so gently, then he had sucked in a breath, running rough but gentle fingers down your face. “Stopped my heart.”

“Oh, you go on, Sir.” You look down shyly, but he’s tilting your chin up, his breath warm and sweet against your lips.

“An angel amongst mere mortals. Should I have such an honor?” He’s leaning further, and your heart is hammering in your chest, then you hear it, your mother.

“Shit!” You back off, putting your mask back on, earning his chuckle.

“The angel has a mouth.” You giggle then, leaning up and kissing his cheek, before backing away. He reaches for you, but you’re running off. “Perhaps we’ll meet again, Sir!”

“Let’s try this one on!” Utahime says, holding up a gorgeous gown, and you nod eagerly, shaking out of your reverie. Ah, to have been young and hopeful.

You allow them to help you out of your day dress and into this beautiful creation, and as you look in the mirror, you can’t help but feel like that girl again, the one who felt alive, the one who felt desired. The one before Satoru Gojo in just a week or so had been absolutely destroyed. You see it in your eyes, she is still there.

“You’re positively glowing, Lady Gojo!” Mei Mei says, and Utahime nods in agreement.

“Thank you, thank you both so much. This is just what I needed!” And it truly was, as you spun in the gown, watching the fabric flutter around you like a storm of silk, it’s the prettiest silver you’ve ever seen.

“We can have this adjusted before the masquerade, Is there anything else we can do for you?” Utahime asks, and you look over to the side, seeing a few accessories. “Oh, a necklace perhaps?”

“Yes I believe so. Perhaps silver to match?” Mei Mei grabs a few to show you, as you try them on, looking into the mirror.

“This one!” Utahime says, holding up a necklace with glittering sapphires. “It’s so beautiful on you!”

You agree, and they put it around your neck, the cool stone resting against your collarbone. “How much?”

It’s an insane amount but…

Fuck Gojo, you can at least get pretty things, yes?

“Thank you, so much. You’ve made my day.” They both smile broadly, and you realize how much you’ve missed this, the simple kindness of others. Leaving the manor is like a huge breath of fresh air.

As you leave the modiste, feeling so much lighter, clinging to your bag with some of your purchases, most will be delivered as they’re still being made. Then you see him, a man in the distance, watching you, and your heart stops. He's tall and blond, just like this dream of yours, just like that night…

It can’t be, can it?

He looks right at you across the bustling street, and his face lights up in recognition, a small tired smile on his handsome face. He comes across the way, stopping in front of you now, and your heart thuds in your chest. Oh but if you’d met him again, could everything have changed? But who was he?

“It’s the mysterious masquerade angel.” He teases, and you giggle a bit, as he takes your hand and kisses the back of it with warm lips.

Your eyes take in his every feature, from his sharp cheekbones, to his thin upper lip and full lower, a conundrum that begged for kisses. His hand that holds yours is so strong, rough, not like the gentlemen you’re used to, and it serves to make your heart flutter.

His hazel eyes that you remember vividly are tilted up like a cat, and he has dark circles under them, serving to show along with rough hands how hard he must work. His sandy blond hair makes you remember that dream, and suddenly you feel even more flustered, as you put it together. He’s nearly as tall as Geto and Gojo, but he’s much broader, shoulders massive under a sleek tan suit.

“How rude of me, just staring.” You give him your name, and it sounds far too good on his lips, with his deep, sultry voice, emanating so much warmth and kindness when his lips quirk. You realize he’s still holding your hand.

“Kento Nanami. It’s a pleasure to meet you again.” His thumb brushes your ring then, and he frowns down at it. “Ah, and met you too late?”

“It’s quite a long story I’m afraid, Mr. Nanami.” You say softly, he looks at you curiously, studying your face.

“Forgive me for saying this, but you look so very… forlorn. Have things been rough in this… marriage?”

“Oh…” You’re nearly about to cry in front of a near stranger, but he makes you feel so comfortable, you ache for him to hold you in his arms. “It’s been rough, yes. I should not go on here…” You notice people looking, so you ease back your hand reluctantly. “I’m afraid as Duchess I’m highly watched, and don’t get the luxury of parading mistresses.”

“What? Mistresses… oh. Fuck.” He huffs those words then, and tilts his head, and you begin to join his walk. “I know some areas that are not so busy, I live just a block from here.”

“That would be nice, thank you Sir.” His arm brushes against yours as you all walk, and you remember dancing in his arms that night. “I’m so surprised you remember me.”

“I’m more so surprised, my Lady. Or… your Grace now is it?”

“You don’t need to call me all that, please.” He hears the pain in your voice, his hazel gaze taking you in seriously as you continue to walk together, the gentle breeze blowing your bonnet nearly off. It starts to fly and you catch it, giggling breathlessly, and Nanami pauses, taking it fully off.

“I cannot even say how beautiful you are, even moreso than before. Surely the Duke would have me whipped, hmm?”

“No, actually, it’s an odd situation. He cares nothing for me.”

“Even if you…”

“No, even then. You know, I was seventeen then, Sir.” You tease, gently pushing his hard chest with two fingers, making him flush even more on those high cheekbones.

He grimaces at that. “Oh gods, were you?”

“I turned eighteen the next week, but yes I was just a girl then. How old are you, Mr. Nanami?”

“Twenty seven. I am a tired twenty seven.”

You roll your eyes. “Just six years, silly man.” He is still holding your bonnet, and he awkwardly hands it back to you, smiling apologetically. Your fingers brush, and you both pause then, it’s like little shocks run through you, you gasp a bit as you gently take it from him. “I hear daily I’m intolerable, so you have free range to speak. It’s quite nice to hear.

“Noble men seem to think they can do whatever they wish, I'm afraid. How are you not enough?”

Mr. Nanami’s words make your palms sweat, as you feel his nearness, the heat from his body as you walk next to him, to where the crowds were more dispersed. It was a little warm out as well, the sun shining on his golden skin, making it glow, as you all stand far too close, and you enjoy it so much you’d feel bad, if your husband wasn’t Satoru Gojo.

“He does not… we do nothing. It’s simply only his mistresses. So it’s not that I’m not enough, it’s that I don’t exist in that way at all.”

“What!?” He pauses again, raising a light brow, and you hesitate, looking down, where he has the most ludicrous tie on. You briefly imagine pulling it, pulling him down… what is wrong with you?

“I’m disgusting to him. So.” You hate the emotion choking your throat, he’s scowling down now, and you’re far too close. “It’s a long story, but it was arranged, and he did not want me.”

“So he doesn’t want the most beautiful woman in London?” You blush furiously, shaking your head a bit. “So who does he expect? There’s no lovelier.”

“Thank you, Mr. Nanami, but… it matters naught. It’s lonely, loveless, and I am stuck in it. I do wish we met sooner, but my parents…”

“Surely there are things to be done, even with a Duke. If you’ve done nothing, an annulment is possible. My good friend is a lawyer, perhaps I could ask discreetly?”

You tilt your head to look up at him curiously. “Why would you help me? You don’t know me.”

“Why wouldn’t I help a pretty damsel in distress, hmm?” You smile up at him, with watery eyes, and watch him suck in a breath as he studies you.

“Are you a knight in shining armor, Mr. Nanami?” You whisper, he bows then at the waist, peeking up at you and making you melt.

“For you, darling, anything.”

Fuck.

“Anything, hmm?” You both walk down the trail to the park, where it’s quiet this time of day, grassy knolls and beautiful lush flowers bloom. It fills you with an odd peace your soul has been so lacking.

“I imagine any man would offer the same. Except for your…” He trails off, as if he does not want to say his name, to say you’re married.

“The Duke.” You say softly. He sighs.

“Mmm. I’ve heard he’s a rather immature, foolish man. But to be so… such an imbecile. Is mind boggling.”

“He’s cruel to me.” You both keep walking, you’re walking with a stranger practically, but you feel more comfortable than you have since you’ve been stuck with your husband. His words still make your heart ache.

Wish you didn’t exist.

“Has he… hurt you?” Nanami pauses you, in a field surrounded by willow trees, casting blissful shadows across you both, shade from the warm sun. You lick your lower lip when he caresses your cheek gently, before pausing. “I’m sorry I should not be so bold…”

“No, please don’t stop, it feels good.” You put his hand back, your breasts rising and falling with each breath in your bodice, drawing his gaze for just a moment, before he respectfully looks back into your eyes. You’re holding his hand on your face, falling apart inside. “Not physically really. His words are the knives that twist in my chest.”

“You don’t deserve that. This sadness in your eyes… It's heartbreaking when I think of you a few years ago, glittering eyes and a beautiful grin.” You gulp a bit, stepping closer, inhaling the scent of him, like warm sandalwood.

“I wanted so badly to see you again.” You admit, lashes fluttering as you study his strong chest in this light blue dress shirt, it looks so broad and strong, your fingers itch to touch it.

“I’m not in your social circle, I’m a mere businessman. Who partakes in boxing at times.” You brush your thumb across his knuckles, calloused and scarred.

“I can tell you know how to use your hands.” He blushes then, and you blink a bit. “Was that bad to say?”

“Forgive me but… how much have you done?”

“Oh… nothing. A kiss. The duke said he will not lay with me.” Nanami takes a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair now.

“Using hands… it made me think about things I should not. Touching you.” His husky whisper makes your tummy clench with… is this desire?

“Oh.” Your voice is a breathy whisper. “I’ve seen him with his mistress, um her… riding him. So I've seen sex.”

His hazel eyes widen. “You’ve seen it!? Him with her?”

“Well yes, he doesn’t hide it. She’s always around.”

His jaw clenches, and you watch a vein popping out of his strong neck, you errantly trail a fingertip down it, making him tense even more, his free hand now on the nip of your waist. “I hate this for you. I’ll try to help, if I can.”

“For now, I will be stuck in this, and all I can think of is how good I’d feel in your arms. It’s very scandalous of me. Isn’t it?” He blinks then, lowering his face until you’re so close.

“No, it’s not scandalous to want affection. I’d say that makes you human. But would this hurt you? Would he hurt you for it?” He’s pressing you back gently, until your back is against a thick oak tree. You can’t stop the little whine that escapes the back of your throat as your own hands slide around his thick waist.

“I would not reveal who you are. But I’ve told him I will have someone find me beautiful, the first person to see me, not grotesque or… passable.”

He scoffs then, his hand sliding up the side of your breast, pressing just so, and your head falls back, as you can taste coffee on his breath. “He should not get to see your beauty. So does my darling simply want a hug from me, or does she wish for something else?”

“Your darling, hmm?” He smirks a bit, his eyes growing lidded with desire, as his hard body pressed against yours.

“Do you know how many dreams you’ve occupied? Running away from me and cursing like a man.” You giggle, brightly, and he laughs with you softly, your breaths intermingling together. Would you truly kiss two men in two days, and neither of them are your husband? “That was the grin.”

“It’s easy to forget the world with you, it was that night as well. You have no clue the awful week I’d had before we danced.” You run your hand up and down his chest, over the silky tie, fingers itching to pull him in.

“I’m glad to look upon this face again. I thought you were a dream.”

“I may have… seen you in my dream too.”

“I’m not so worthy.” You shake your head, eyes drinking him in slowly.

“You’re a very handsome man, Nanami Kento. Would it hurt you to… to kiss someone that can’t fully be yours though?”

“I’d suffer any sort of pain for a chance at you.”

“You go on too much.” You tiptoe then, pulling his tie, and one hand braces by your head on the tree, the other sliding down your back, making your nipples go taut against your bodice.

“So use your words, darling, let me know what you want?” You bite your lip at his sultry words, as you feel yourself back at that night, in his arms.

“A kiss, mysterious man. You owed me one.” He exhales then, pressing you further against the hard wood of the tree, and his lips descending on yours, so gentle and sweet, a featherlight touch that ignites something inside of you.

You whimper into his lips, and he moans, opening them then, and sliding his tongue inside, you press yours against his, in a back and forth dance, swirling around each other. Your teeth click as the kiss deepens, and now his hands are both on your little waist, overtaking it, burning through your corset, through your dress, fuck his touch feels so good, you’re leaning up for more.

Your hands enwrap in his silky hair, messing the perfect set of it up, then he shocks you, picking you up, just dangling you off the ground, you squeak a bit and he pulls back, hungry eyes, his face stark with hunger, mirroring your own. He eases you down, sliding on his hard body, and you cling tightly, trying to catch your breath.

“Imagine this pretty face cumming.” He whispers, and you are blushing as you don’t fully understand.

“Um… what is that, Mr. Nanami?” He pales a bit, sighing and cupping your face now, his free hand sliding down your hip now, leaving goosebumps in its trail.

“I’ll surely go to hell for not just you being married, but so innocent. Corrupting one as such seems a one way ticket to hell.” You giggle again, though he’s serious, glaring a bit at you. You kiss him once more, enjoying the sigh he makes.

“Explain, Sir. An order from your Duchess.” You tease, and he rolls his eyes a bit, stepping back to look at you.

“Cumming… or climaxing, it’s pleasure. For you.” He murmurs, his gaze glinting green in this light now, licking that glossy lower lip now. Your tummy clenches again, and now you feel heat… between your thighs, making you look down nervously. “Am I saying too much?”

“It’s having an odd effect. Um. Here.” You take his hand, gliding it down to your lower tummy, watching his eyes dilate, so dark as his cheeks hollow with him sucking in a breath.

“That would be desire. Is this a… first?” You nod nervously, furiously blushing now.

“To this extent yes. It’s spreading lower.”

“Going to hell for this.” You are curious but he’s back to kissing you again, and now his hand is sliding to your breasts, and he yanks your bodice down, making you gasp as he peers at the breasts that have spilled. “Fuck you’re so beautiful.”

“I… um… Nanami?” He’s cupping them, and your eyes flutter shut at how good it feels, him squishing them so gently in big hands. “Nanami!”

“Perfect. May I?” You look down curiously, as he’s sitting now, pulling you onto his lap, straddling him obscenely. You’re a mess of emotions and desire, as he kisses down your collarbone. “May I kiss them, darling?”

“Oh, you want to?”

“I’m dying to.”

“Yes, you may. Ah!” You gasp in pleasure then, as you’re feeling something hard against where you’re so eager, that apex of your thighs. You grind on it, moaning at the friction, and he’s sucking your nipple into his mouth, it feels so good you get wet down there. “Oh no!”

“What, darling?” He asks softly, and you feel so embarrassed, looking down. “You’re so hot there.”

“It’s wet. Is that…”

“Fuck you are killing me.” He’s pressing your hips down further, and you whine out in pleasure at the friction, as he’s sucking another nipple in his hot mouth. Your body is reacting so hard to it all, your head falling back, and you’re moaning loudly now. “Wet is very good, darling. But… you’re quite loud.”

“Is that bad?” He chuckles, pulling your top up, shaking his head.

“Not if we weren’t outside. Perhaps… alone.”

“Let’s do that?”

“You’re so eager for that, hmm?” You nod, and he is kissing you again, leaning up and moaning, hands trembling against your hips. “Are you sure? Do you have so much time?”

“Does it last long?”

“Pleasuring you yes. I am thinking of too many ways currently.” You take a shaky breath, trying to compose yourself.

“What are the ways? Mmh.”

“Those noises you make, gods.” He kisses down your throat, wrapping arms around you. “I’m dreaming.”

“I am.” He chuckles against your collarbone, tickling it, your hands cling to his broad shoulders. “It’s like my woes faded for a few moments.” You say sadly then, as you come to the realization of just what you’re doing. It hits hard, how easily you fall into this man’s arms.

“I could please you with my fingers, with my mouth, or both. To start.” You bite your lower lip, as you grow impossibly wetter against him. “But we’ve done a lot, and I don’t want to overwhelm you, when you’re so upset already.”

He is correct, you’re acting on instinct, there is no… thoughts here.

You were Gojo’s wife.

Would you be as bad as him if you go further?

“I’ll let you know where my apartments are, then you decide what you want. And darling, I’ll give it to you.” You feel tears flowing then, and he swipes them away, kissing on your cheeks.

“You mean make love?”

“I’m not sure you’re ready for that. No, I would please you.”

“What if I ask so sweetly?” He chuckles, and taps your nose, shaking his head at you as he eases you up to stand, holding your hands.

“You cuss and are so wanton, hmm?”

“I suppose I’m not so ladylike.”

“You’re very much a Lady.” He kisses you again, gently once more, brushing his lips over yours. “I will make some inquiries quietly, if you so decide to try.”

“I’m afraid it will be no option but it surely won't hurt. I am so very glad we met again. You’ve made me so happy.”

“I didn’t make you cum though.” You are a mess at that, and he’s smirking at you. “You’re too adorable to tease.”

“Sir!” He kisses you again and again, until you both get heated again. “What if I stay so quiet?”

“Can you even? If you’re so loud from kissing?”

“Hush, Sir.” You stick your tongue out, making him chuckle, then you hastily get yourself together, as you all head back to town. When you’re by your carriage you dread what awaits you at home. “I hope to see you again, Sir.”

“I ache to see you again, darling.” He kisses your hand once more, helping you up into the carriage, and your heart is still pounding as you ride off, covering your face and struggling to not rip your damn corset off. You’re so wet between your thighs you reach your finger down scandolously, up your skirts, finding sticky wetness glistening on your fingers.

Fuck.

You’ve never felt like this, Suguru’s kiss and unfortunately Satoru’s touches had felt a bit of that pressure, but Nanami has wrecked you. The way he touched you, kissed you, the way he looked at you. With adoration, the whispers of his sweet words tickle your ears still. You run your finger down your lips of your sex, shivering at how sensitive you are.

You’ve never touched yourself.

You’ve kissed two men in two days, now you play with yourself in a carriage, you don’t even know yourself… but fuck if it didn’t feel good, to lose yourself in his arms, and fuck if you weren’t tempted to see him again. He’d seen your breasts, which were now firmly back in your bodice, but you can see the little red marks left from his bites, from him sucking on them.

Your heart is going to burst from your chest, as you walk into your home then, and Satoru is moaning, you hear it clear as day. You tense a bit, because it sounds too loud to be far away, then he’s right there, bending over some other mistress, right on the dining room table. When he hears you he pauses, looking back and you’re getting a view of his entire ass, and someone’s thighs.

“Really, on the table?” You demand then, and he rolls his eyes, as the mistress squeals, pulling back and covering up. “Where’s Catherine?”

“She said she couldn’t any longer because you’re too nice and she feels horrible.” He adjusts himself, but not before you get an eye full of his… very large cock, huge and curved with a pink tip. You feel an odd hit again in your tummy, but it mixes with disgust as you realize where it had just been.

“I’m sorry. I won’t be as nice.” You say, and he scoffs, as you walk past now, yanking off the table cloth, not moving a single thing on it with the movement. Satoru’s blue eyes get wide in shock when you shove it into the mistress’ arms, a little brunette girl. “Have those cleaned you little chit, understood? I’ll not have you soiling such fine linen.”

She sputters, then runs off, nodding. Satoru smirks, surprising you then, you figured he’d be irritated, but he saunters to you, his dress shirt wide open, tie hanging loose now. You feel such disgust from him, clearly covered in her, red lipstick all over his throat.

“Do it in your chambers. Could you at least give me that kindness?”

“You don’t enjoy to watch? You don’t picture yourself there?” He presses you against the table now and you smirk up at him.

“Oh, not with you I don’t.”

His thin white brows lower, as he takes you in now. Your hair is loose and flowing, and you have red marks all over your breasts, earning a full fucking scowl. “What on earth have you been doing?”

“Just kissing, don’t worry. But… I got so wet, now I know what you meant that night, Duke.” You put a hand on his chest, and feel his heart race under your palm, his chest heaving as his blue eyes bore into your face.

“Wet?”

“Mmhmm. Soaking wet.” He shuts his eyes, sucking in a breath and looking away, hands clenching the table on either side of you so tightly you would think he’d break the wood. “I wasn’t that night. How could I be? Smacking doesn’t have that effect.”

“Yes well you would have been if I’d touched you.” He leans in closer, a breath away, and you just continue to smile, batting your eyelashes.

“You never will, so no matter. But I don’t think so. I think I enjoy…” You shove at him, making him step back. “Rougher hands.”

“Rougher hands!?” You giggle now, and he glares. “You’re in a good fucking mood. Ice princess can laugh?”

“I can when not being told not to exist. When not walking in on some whore screaming your name.”

“Oh whores are they, and you?”

“I’m a lady who has a terrible fucking husband. For now.”

“For now!?” You walk away now as he stumbles back, but he follows you, as you glide up the stairs, humming. “What does that mean?”

“No sex, no marriage really. So we’ll have an annulment. But we’ll give it some time for now, perhaps a year, so that you can keep ahold of that dowry.” He’s following you up each step, until he’s pinning you against the wall, but he doesn’t scare you, you see him losing it.

“So what we have sex? Is that what you’re getting at?”

“Oh no, I’m glad we don’t. I can’t wait for my first time to be special. Oh I hear my breasts are beautiful by the way.” You tap his chin with a finger, grinning, and he is huffing now, one hand entangling in your hair, the other sliding to your bodice.

“Men say anything to get under a lady’s skirts.”

“Mmm, maybe so. But it was nice to hear. Don’t worry, I won’t ask your opinion, I see who you fuck and… it’s nothing like me, is it?”

“You assume they’re that nice? Show me then. All talk.” You raise a brow, and he is fingering the lace of your bodice.

“I’m unnatractive to you, what’s it matter? But sure, Duke, you can untie my corset and let me know your nasty opinion.” You rush into your room and he’s following you, overheated as he unties you at a stupidly fast pace.

“Let me guess, he sucked on those perky nipples?” He whispers, yanking your corset off harshly, and you tilt your head curiously, feeling the chill of the room when he’s yanked it off fully. You take off your bodice, turning in just your shift then, hands on your strips as his gaze is…

Hungry?

No.

Psychotic.

“Perky hmm? Yes, he did, and it felt so good. Well, here…” You slide your shift down to your waist, looking down as you wait for his nasty comments. He says nothing, but you hear him bump into your nightstand. You look at him curiously, as his mouth is slack open, staring at them openly. “Go on, make your insults.”

He just stares, and it’s… odd, your nipples are hard from the chill of the room, as your lush breasts sway slightly when you shift from one leg to the other. You sigh, rolling your eyes then, and covering yourself back up, as he’s still sputtering, and he comes to grip your wrists now, in a tight, bruising grip, bringing your attention to his face once more.

“Say it, your Grace. Passable? Or grotesque?” You whisper, and he leans down now, until his lips are far too close, making you want to simultaneously recoil and lean closer.

You hate this man.

“They’re perfect.” He says softly, and you do back away then, with shocked eyes, as he gulps, clearing his throat, blue eyes lingering down to where your breasts nearly hang out in your shift.

“You jest with me, of course. I know you don’t-”

“They’re fucking perfect.” He says again, then he lets you go, and you feel the very room close in on you.

“As nice as the little slut you’re fucking now?” You quip, angrily, and he rakes a hand through his hair, looking down, his abdomen flexing as he moves back. “Catherine was prettier.”

“Jesus fucking…” You look down then, and notice it… the huge bulge in his pants, and you blink a bit in confusion, looking back up at him again. His face looks tortured.

“Well thanks for saying one nice thing about me. That is… surprising.” You mumble then. “It looks like you’re wanting to finish fucking that girl though.”

“Blasted you’re stupid.”

“Me stupid?”

“Stupid.” He pulls you against him then, so you shove at him now, glaring up at him. “What, I cannot touch you?”

“We don’t do that. And thank you for that, because I get to have true pleasure, and not some forced formality.”

He searches your face then. “Did you cum?”

“Did I… no… what’s it your business!?” You demand heatedly.

“You’re my wife.” Those words are so meaningless, where you once hoped to have meaning, it makes you laugh then, losing it, there was no longer composure.

“You wanted this, to do nothing with me, and guess what, I want that too. You smell like her cheap perfume, you’re covered in her wetness, you think I want you?” You ask, and he grips tighter, scowling at you.

“You think I said I wanted you? For nice tits?” Ah, there it is.

“No, I don’t, that’s why I found someone who does. Works out, doesn’t it, dear husband. Now go on, you have whores to fuck. Hop to it Duke.”

“Hop to it… you insolent little…” You’re just giggling, and he’s not glaring, it’s like he’s confused who you are.

“I see why you’re always fucking, even kissing does put me in quite a happy little mood.” You tap his cheek now, earning another grip on your wrists. “Not kissing you though, that was horrible.”

“I didn’t try to kiss you.” He whispers, lingering close once more. You ignore the flutter of your pulse at your throat. “I never wanted to kiss you.”

“That’s for the best. I’ve lost my appetite after seeing her on that table, so I won’t eat tonight. Best for you I imagine.” He glares now.

“I will have it sent to your room.”

“No need.”

“You’ll eat.” He commands through gritted teeth, and you just blink at him in confusion.

“If you wish, dear husband.” He stomps away then, slamming your door, and you can’t help but smile. You’d gotten under his fucking skin, and you got to kiss sweet Nanami Kento.

Gojo does send up food for you, he’s very confusing, isn’t he? You nibble carefully, hearing him louder than ever in the room next to you. You sigh in annoyance, but when Nanami enters your mind, you smile, you feel warmth radiating through you. It could be hopeless, but it was such a beautiful feeling you were thriving from it.

Unfortunately, instead of Nanami, it’s your rather horrid husband that is under that tree with you, that’s sucking under your breasts, with his blue eyes looking lustfully up at you, his perfect cheeks hollowed as he grinds his length against where you’re so wet. You hate it, that even in your dreams you cannot escape him, and you hate it more when he’s bending you over that table.

That Goddamn Duke.

You hate him.

[bloatedandalone04]

Don’t Ever Leave My Side

➪the one where you finally let jake take you out on a date after countless rejections, but it turns out that the guy you convinced yourself he was, isn’t who he is at all.

Warnings: smut, fluff, pda, unprotected sex, swearing, pining, oral (f receiving), jake being whipped bc i missed writing for him

Word Count: 4.7k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

You weren’t sure why you had reapplied your makeup for the third time now after deciding that it didn’t look good enough. And you opted to leave your hair how it normally looked right after a shower and to not touch it, but here you were, hastily curling it as you checked the time on your phone for the fourth time since plugging in the curling iron. 

None of it mattered at all. It was just a stupid date. One stupid date you promised Jake Seresin you’d go on with him, that was it. 

The guy had been asking you out for months now, and you’ve shut him down every time since you knew how he was with the women who frequented the Hard Deck. He was a player, in the sky and on the ground, and you wanted nothing to do with it, which is why you’ve rejected him more times than you can count on both hands. 

Yet he was persistent, the fucker. To get him to stop, you agreed to go out with him the last time you bumped into him, and that date was scheduled for tonight. In exactly four minutes, but you were planning on being late just to fuck with him, because there was no way you were going on a second date with him. No way. No.

You just finished your hair when your phone went off with a text, and you glanced down at it as you unplugged the curler and set it down on the counter. 

Jake Seresin: I’m here, gorgeous. Hope you’re prepared for tonight ;)

For some reason, reading that gave you butterflies in your stomach, and you quickly typed out a response before setting your phone down and pulling on the simple black dress you picked out for tonight.

Nice. I’m not ready yet.

The dress was tight around your torso area but got looser around your thighs, and the straps were so thin, you had to wear a strapless bra so it didn’t look dumb. The hem around your chest was lace and provided a small amount of cleavage that left nothing to the imagination, so yeah. It was very simple. 

After checking yourself a respectable three times, you slide on your ankle boots and grab your purse. 

You wondered if Jake was annoyed that you took so long to get ready since he read your text but never responded to it, but you were wrong as you opened your front door and saw him leaning against the passenger side of his truck with a stupid fucking smile on his face. “Hey, sweetheart,” he greeted as you huffed and turned to lock the door. When you made your way over to him, Jake moved out of the way and opened the passenger door for you. “You look stunning.”

“Thanks,” you drag the word out a bit as you hop up onto the seat and place your hands on your lap as he shuts the door behind you. A few seconds later, he was sitting beside you in the driver’s seat as he put the truck into drive. “Where are we going?”

Jake grinned over at you as he flicked the radio on, and some country song began playing quietly through the speakers as he answered, “It’s a surprise. Shocking, I know, but if I’m only getting one shot at this, I’m gonna do it right,”

“Great, I love surprises,” you mumbled, looking out the window before quickly looking back at him once you further processed his words. “And there’s no if, Jake. You are only getting one shot at this.”

You weren’t sure whose head you were trying to get that through at this point. 

But Jake wasn’t fazed as his grin grew. “Better make sure I don’t fuck this up then,” he said, glancing over at you. “I promise, I’ll make it count.”

He sounded so excited and he looked hot in his jeans and button up and jacket. You hated it, because you’ve seen him with other girls before, and he never put on this nice of an outfit, and he never gave them the amount of attention he’s already given you since you left your house. 

And you were even more annoyed when he pulled into a parking spot right outside your favorite Italian restaurant ten minutes later. You looked at the bright sign that said the name of the restaurant with squinted eyes before looking over at Jake. “Why are we here?”

Jake looked a bit panicked for a second as he paused mid-way through taking off his seatbelt. “Is this not…I thought this was your favorite place to eat at,” he sounded nervous now and you loosened up a bit as you took off your own seatbelt. 

“It is,” you confirmed, “But how did you know that?”

Jake looked more relaxed as he finally let his seatbelt go and opened the door. “Bird Boy told me,” he said and you groaned. 

“Damnit, Rooster,” you muttered as you grabbed your bag and reached for the handle, but Jake was already there and opening the door for you. “I’m going to yell at him the next time I see him.” You state as you get out of the truck.

Bradley was your best friend, and the guy who had witnessed a lot of your rejections to Jake firsthand. You weren’t all that surprised that he felt a little bad for the blond and helped him out with this, because your best friend was a decent guy and one of your favorite people. But you were still going to yell at him.

“Really?” Jake laughed as he placed his hand on the small of your back and led you towards the doors of the restaurant. “Because I can’t stop thanking the guy, and that’s kind of a big deal for me.”  

You huffed out a laugh in return as he guided you inside, and a few minutes later you were sitting at a booth with him with your drinks placed in front of you. Your menu was flat on the table while he held his up, his eyes flickering over the options as you subtly watched him. 

“What’s good here?” He asked, “This is my first time in this place.”

You picked up your margarita with a shrug, “Everything, from what I can tell,”

Jake glanced at you over the top of his menu, his brows furrowing as he realized that you didn’t even look at your own. “What are you doing? What’s wrong?”

You set your drink down and leaned back against the booth. “I know what I’m getting. I get it every time,”

Jake’s lips turned upwards at that as he set the menu down and slid his water closer to him on the table. “Oh, you’re one of those people, huh?” He asked with a smirk as he sipped a bit of the bland drink. “You don’t like, I don’t know, trying something different?”

“If it’s not broken, don’t fix it?” You offer with a raised brow as you watch him set the water back down. “You’re seriously not drinking tonight?”

He shook his head as he closed the menu and pushed both yours and his to the edge of the table. “No. I want to be sober the whole time so I can remember this night with vivid detail. I think you deserve that,”

Your face heated up as you cleared your throat, his words doing a number on you as you sat up a bit. “What are you getting?” You quickly change the subject as you felt the sudden urge to kiss the guy you’ve been avoiding for months now. 

“What are you getting?” He asked back and you narrowed your eyes as you told him your usual order. “Perfect, I’ll get that too. Maybe I’ll like it enough to order it every time I come here.”

And that was how you found yourself eating identical meals not long after, and a blush seemed to be stuck on your face as you answered every single question he had for you. Your favorite color, your favorite song, the teacher you hated most in high school, your worst dating experience, all of it.

For some reason, this wasn’t bad. This wasn’t bad at all. Talking with Jake felt easy, like you could do it all the time and never complain about it. Why was this shaping out to be kind of the perfect first date? Why was he kind of being the perfect gentleman? 

He seemed so interested in you, like how he was during the build ups to him eventually asking you out. You were beginning to feel bad about constantly saying no, because you were actually having a really good time with him. 

“Well?” You started as Jake asked for the bill. “How was it? Will you be returning just to order that every time?” You gestured to the empty plates in front of you and Jake shrugged as he took out his wallet. 

“It wasn’t bad. Your taste in food is pretty decent,” he hummed as the waitress, who had been checking Jake out the whole night and who hadn’t been looked at by him for more than a total of six seconds, placed the bill on the table. You reached for your own wallet but he stopped you and handed you his keys instead. “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. Wait in the truck for me, okay?”

You take the keys from him and give the waitress a soft smirk as you stand up, noticing the scowl that had formed on her face as she heard the affectionate nickname Jake gave you. 

Less than a minute later, Jake was beside you in his truck again as he backed out of the parking space with one hand. You were feeling a bit shy now as you looked over at him and took in just how handsome he actually is. “Thanks for tonight,” you say quietly as he pulls out onto the road. “It was kinda…it was fun.”

“You think it’s over?” He laughed softly as he glanced over at you in the dark truck. “I only get you to myself for one night, you really think I’m just taking you out to dinner?”

Your face heated up for the hundredth time tonight as you quickly broke eye contact. “Oh…where else are we going?”

Jake looked back at the road as he drove with one hand, and you were sure he wasn’t aware of just how hot that was. “To the place we first met,” he answered simply and your eyes widened a bit as you laughed.

“The Hard Deck?”

“Yeah,” he grinned over at you. “I have to show at least one person from work that I actually managed to get you to go out with me. And Bird Boy doesn’t count.”

You weren’t entirely sure why, but that had you smiling like a love struck teenager the whole ride, and when you arrived at the Hard Deck, you allowed Jake to lead you inside with his hand placed firmly on your hip. 

A few of his coworkers smirked at him, a few looked beyond shocked, and then there was Bradley, who avoided eye contact with you as soon as you entered the bar. Okay, so maybe you wouldn’t be yelling at him later. 

The Hard Deck was rowdy as usual, but Jake wasn’t paying attention to anyone but you, and you realized just how much you liked being the center of his attention. 

And he was completely sober as he held you in his arms as the two of you swayed to an old song playing on the jukebox. He looked content and so handsome, you had to look away as you mumbled, “Okay, so maybe this isn’t so bad after all,” and pressed the side of your face against his chest. “You kind of planned the most perfect first date, Jake. I’m actually so surprised.”

Your head vibrated a bit when he laughed and tightened his hold on you as if he was scared to let you go. “Well, when you’re determined to make someone fall head over heels for you, you’ve got to put in a bit of effort,” he said and your whole body heated up in a blush. “So, uh…does this mean there’s gonna be a second date?”

You pull back slightly and look up at him. “That depends on you,” came your quiet response as you slid your hands up his back. “You’ve been the most perfect gentleman tonight, and you’ve been so sweet, but will it be like this every time? Or was this just a show for tonight?”

Jake lifted a hand and brushed some of your hair behind your ear, his thumb stroking your cheek after. “You deserve to be treated right, and I want to be the person to do that. I want to be the perfect guy for you, Y/n. You’re special to me,” he said and sounded so genuine, you had no choice but to believe his words. “Give me a chance to show you that I’m not the stuck up ladies man you think I am. I’m falling for you…and I don’t want to mess this up.”

There it was. Jake had just put his heart on his sleeve for you, and now it was completely up to you what happened next. 

You press your lips together and look down at the wooden floor of the bar. “I was wrong about you. You’re not the player I thought you were. And honestly, I don’t care about how many women you’ve been with. The guy you’ve been tonight…it’s a different side of you, Jake. Or maybe it’s who you’ve been this whole time and I’ve just been too stubborn to see it,” you murmur and place your hands flat on his chest as you look back up at him. “The guy you are right now, I can see myself with him. With you. Tonight has been…perfect, in every single way. You’ve been perfect, Jake.”

There was your own confession that, early this morning, you would’ve never said out loud, but things had clearly changed. 

Jake smiled and leaned down to brush his lips against yours in a teasing kiss. “You haven’t seen anything yet, sweetheart,” he whispered against your mouth before pulling back to look into your eyes. “So why don’t we skip right to the part where you agree to a second date?” He asked in a deep voice as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer to him.

You laughed, looking up at him with unguarded eyes. “I think it’s safe to say you got that second date. And the third. And the fourth,” you grinned, curling your fingers around his jacket as your gaze intensified a bit. “Tell me something, does the perfect gentleman kiss on the first date? Because that teaser you just gave me wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy what I’m feeling right now.”

Jake’s smile grows before he leans down and presses his lips to yours in a searing kiss. It starts off somewhat soft, and he lets you take the lead as you kiss him a bit deeper, and then his tongue was pushing past your lips and brushing against yours. 

It was clear from the kiss that he had been holding back his desire for you for months, and you suddenly didn’t regret pushing him away so much, because it allowed you to feel every inch of his want for you with every brush of his mouth against yours. 

After a few more seconds, he breaks the kiss. “There you go,” he murmured, his thumb brushing against your puffy bottom lip. “But that’s just one of many. I plan on kissing the fuck out of you on every single one of those future dates.”

A content hum leaves your lips, a feeling of excitement for the future settling in your bones as you lean up and kiss him again. Soon enough you’d become addicted. You were sure of it. 

Your fingers slide into his hair as the music continues to play and the patrons of the bar chat amongst themselves, not paying either of you any attention as you lose yourselves in each other. 

Jake’s hands grip your waist tighter, pulling your chest against his. “You’re mine now, Y/n,” he mumbled when he finally broke the kiss after a few minutes, and you held back a squeal at just how good that sounded. “I’ll make you happy, I swear it.” 

You bite down on your lip and trace the sides of his face with your fingers. “Any chance the perfect gentleman takes me to bed on the first date?” You playfully asked, but you were also very serious, even if you thought that you should probably wait to have sex. Maybe until the second date. That seemed long enough. 

“Patience, baby,” he rasped, tugging at your bottom lip with his thumb. “A perfect gentleman knows how to build anticipation.”

He tucks a few strands of hair behind your ear as you hum quietly, threading your fingers through the hair on the back of his neck as you try not to squeal again at the cute pet name. 

“Besides, I have a feeling you’re going to be worth the wait. I know it’ll be…fucking amazing between us,” he added, brushing another soft kiss to your lips. “Don’t worry, but by the end of our second date, I’ll give it to you so good, you’ll still be sore when we go on our third date.” 

You grin excitedly and nod. “It’s okay,” you whisper, “I can wait. I know that now, Jake. You’re worth the wait.”

Jake smiled down at you before kissing you one last time then taking your hand and leading you towards the bar. 

-

A couple weeks, and several dates later, you and Jake are officially together and crazy in love with each other. 

The realization that you had only pushed him away for so long because you were so into him was a tough pill to swallow, but when you finally got it down, you threw yourself headfirst into this relationship with him, and neither of you planned to look back. 

It became official shortly after the first date, where he drove you home, kissed you sweetly, then left you wanting more. By the end of the second date, Jake stayed true to his promise and fucked you so good into his mattress, you were addicted by the time the sun came up. 

You’d both been insatiable since then, which wasn’t all that surprising. The chemistry between you two had been undeniable from the start, so of course the sex was fucking amazing. 

Now, having just gotten back to his place after your eighth date, you and he can’t keep your hands off one another as you stumble through his front door, your mouths connected and your hands all over each other. 

You pull off his jacket and let it fall to the floor of the entryway while he helps you slide off your heels, your mouths meshing noisily together. He kicks the door shut before reaching down to grab the backs of your thighs, never breaking the kiss as he lifts you into his arms. He begins to walk towards his bedroom, his hands gripping your thighs tightly as he pulls away. “I’m gonna take you slow and deep tonight,” he mumbled against your lips. “Wanna drag it out this time.”

He was referring to the previous date, when he fucked you hard and fast into his couch while you screamed your throat raw, and the reminder of it just turned you on even more. 

Jake lays you down on his bed before standing back up and working on ridding himself of his belt. You lean back on the bed, pulling your dress off to leave you in a matching black lace lingerie set that paired sinfully well with your thigh high stockings. 

Leaning back on your elbows, you spread your thighs and beckon him to you with a curl of your finger. “Come here,”

Jake’s eyes darken as he takes in the sight of you. He’s seen you naked countless of times by now, but seeing you in something so effortlessly hot was something else, especially since he knew exactly what the black fabric was hiding from him. 

His hands reach down to pull off his belt and he shrugs off his clothes, leaving on his boxer briefs for now and showing off just how hard you made him through the thin material. 

Crawling onto the bed, he positions himself between your thighs, his lips peppering kisses along your stomach as his fingers tease the edge of your panties. “God, you’re fucking stunning,” he mumbled, running his fingers over the flimsy fabric. “Tell me, baby, were these expensive?”

You hum, looking down at him as you shrug. “A little, but not too bad,”

Jake smirked, mumbling a quick, “Good,” before he ripped the delicate fabric and tossed it aside, revealing your slick folds to his needy eyes. 

“Jake!” You gasped, your eyes widening as his big hands gripped the backs of your thighs and spread your legs a bit wider. 

“I’ll buy you more, one in every color,” he promised, grinning up at you before looking back down at your heat. He runs his fingers through your wetness, a satisfied hum leaving his mouth, “You’re so wet for me, baby. All for me.”

Then he was burying his face between your thighs, his tongue poking out to lick a stripe up your entrance before sucking on your clit. “Oh, fuck,” you whined and he groaned, sending a jolt of pleasure up your body. You shuddered, your muscles tightening as you reached down to tangle your fingers in his hair. “Just like that, Jake. Feels so good.”

Jake’s tongue pressed more firmly against your clit while his fingers gathered more of your wetness before sinking knuckle-deep inside you. He fucks them in and out of you as his teeth gently nip at your sensitive bundle of nerves, and you fell back onto his pillow as he devoured you. 

The sight of you looking already so fucked out with your hair draped across his pillow had him refraining from bucking his hips against the bed, because it was something he had been dreaming about seeing for months. He was still kind of shocked that he could now see it whenever he wanted.

“Fuck,” you gasped, arching your back as he guided your legs to rest over his shoulders. Your fingers were pulling on his hair pretty hard, and he fucking loved it. He loved every single second he spent with you, and he couldn’t get enough of your sweet taste, your soft moans and the fact that you had finally, finally given him the chance he’s been craving for so long. 

You were finally his, and he was never letting you go. 

“Cum for me,” he mumbled, flicking your clit with his tongue as he curled his fingers deep inside you. “Cum all over my face, baby. Let me taste it.”

If there was one thing Jake knew how to do, it was to spew the most filthy fucking things to you. And he knew you loved it. He found that out pretty quickly the first time he took you to bed, and he was more than willing to delve into your desire for dirty talk. 

Like he suspected, your mouth parted in a loud moan as you tugged harshly on his hair, and a second later you were coming on his tongue and fingers. “Jake…holy fuck, baby,” you moaned as you writhed against his face. “Fuck…feels so fucking good.”

The taste of you on his tongue makes him groan, and he continues to ravish your pussy until you’re shaking and whimpering incoherently. Once you settled a bit, Jake lifted his head, his lips and chin soaked with your release as he grins up at you and begins to place kisses along your stomach while he pushes his boxers down. 

He hovers over you, his hands squeezing your breasts through your bra as he teases your quivering heat with the tip of his cock. “I need you, baby,” he mumbled, reaching down to grip his base as he coats himself in your arousal before slowly pushing inside you. “Fuck, you’re tight.” He groaned, dropping his head to your shoulder as he started to slowly rock into you.

His hand moves from your chest to grip your hips as he picks up the speed a bit, his body fitting perfectly against yours with each deep thrust,

“There you go,” he rasped, kissing along your neck. “Take it all, baby, every inch.”

You moan loudly as you arch your back, and you guide his hands around you to the clasp of your bra. “Fuck, Jake, you feel so good,” you whimpered, wrapping your legs tightly around his waist. 

Jake hums, expertly unclasping your bra before guiding the straps down your arms, all while keeping the pace of his thrusts. His eyes immediately lock onto your breasts, now bare to his dark eyes as they bounce with every movement. “You’re a fucking dream,” he mumbled, leaning down to wrap his lips around one of your nipples as he rocks his hips against yours. “You make me lose control, every single time.” He grunted through ragged breaths, his cock brushing against every hidden spot deep inside you. 

“Jake,” you moan desperately, guiding his mouth to yours in a messy kiss. “I love you.”

He groans, kissing you again as he feels himself close to coming already because you felt that fucking good. “I love you, too,” he rasped, his words muffled against your mouth. “So fucking much.”

You moaned, tugging on his hair as you lazily met his thrusts halfway. “I’m close,” you mumbled and he groaned in both pleasure and relief as he reached down to rub circles against your clit. 

“Me too,” he muttered, pinching and pulling at your bundle of nerves. “Cum with me, baby. Let go for me.”

A few seconds later, you were coming for a second time, but on his cock, and a couple thrusts later, he was too. He filled you up as his body shuddered, his lips pressing soft kisses to your neck as he fucked his seed deep inside you. 

Once you were both spent, he collapsed gently on top of you, keeping his cock lodged inside you as he cuddled you against his chest. “Stay with me tonight,” he begged quietly, turning you both on your sides and tucking your head under his chin. 

You smiled, nuzzling against his sweaty chest. “Where else would I be?”

Jake smiled back, pulling you impossibly closer. “What about tomorrow? Will you stay here tomorrow, too? We can have breakfast in bed,” he offered with a teasing grin on his lips. 

You hummed, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Pancakes or waffles?” You ask instead of answering him, confirming that you will be staying at his place for the remainder of the weekend. 

“Pancakes,” he replied, pulling back to press a chaste kiss to your lips. “And bacon. A fuckton of it.”

Even though this wasn’t the first time you would be spending the night in his arms, Jake still felt beyond happy that, after months of pining over you, he was given the chance to experience life with you. He was also really fucking excited to spend tomorrow morning with you in his bed. 

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he mumbled, holding you a bit tighter. “Wanted you.”

You go silent for a few seconds before pulling back to press a soft kiss to his lips. “I’m sorry I made you wait so long,” you whispered, tracing the curve of his bottom lip with your finger. “Truthfully, I didn’t think it could be this good. I was so wrong.”

Jake shakes his head, taking your hand in his and pressing a few kisses to your knuckles. “Don’t be sorry,” he said quietly. “It was worth it, all of it, if it meant we’d end up like this. Together.”

He leaned down to kiss you deeply, and you returned it instantly. “I love you,” you mumbled against his lips as you gently gripped his face. 

“I love you, too,” he said back and meant it with his whole heart as he rolled you onto your back again and settled on top of you.

Because without a doubt, his heart had been entirely yours since the second he saw you, and he knew that, he was just finally able to make you see it too.

[itneverendshere]

maybe wheezie or even sarah needing rafe to pick them up from school or attend a back to school night. like the school calls rafe to pick up sarah after getting in a fight. or the teacher calls him in to discuss that wheezie struggling in math

thank you for the request!!! 🫶🏻🫂 i think rafe's always had a soft spot for wheezie so i did this one for her cause i personally can see their dynamic being really cute.

 we're both older now - r.c

pairing: rafe x pogue!reader (bartender!reader universe)

Sitting in the passenger seat of Rafe’s truck, you couldn’t help but sneak glances at him. His hands were on the wheel, jaw clenched just enough for you to notice, but not enough to freak out.

It’s been months since rehab, and you swear, you’ve never seen him like this before—so focused, so... responsible. It’s kinda hot.

But that’s not what you’re here for. Not right now.

You’re headed to Wheezie’s school because, apparently, she’s been struggling with math. She didn’t want to tell Rafe because Ward’s rarely at home these days and she didn’t want to bother him. When you found out, you could’ve smacked her. You get it—Rafe’s been under a lot of pressure lately—but you don’t think she realizes how much he cares about her. That’s why you two are heading to a parent-teacher meeting like it’s the most normal thing in the world. It’s not. 

“I should’ve known something was off,” Rafe mutters, breaking the silence.

You look over at him. “You couldn’t have. Wheezie’s good at keeping stuff to herself.”

He shakes his head, his grip tightening on the wheel just a little. “I’m her brother. I should’ve noticed.”

You reach over, resting your hand on his arm. “You’re doing your best, baby. That matters.”

He lets out a breath, his tension easing under your touch. God, sometimes it’s hard to believe he’s the same guy who used to pick fights at every chance he got just a few years ago. It’s been almost a year since his last relapse, but every day you see him fighting to be better—for himself, for you, for his sisters. And honestly? It does something to you, seeing him like this. 

You pull into the school parking lot, and he parks the truck, turning off the engine. For a second, he just sits there, staring straight ahead. You know what he’s thinking. He’s wondering if he’s good enough to handle this, to handle all of it.

“You got this,” You say softly.

Together, you walk into the school, and after a quick conversation with the receptionist, you’re led to Wheezie’s teacher’s classroom. The room smells like dry-erase markers and stress, the kind you remember from my own high school days.

Except, this is a private school, completely different from what you were used to, and back then, you loved school. You were good at it too—really good, actually. Straight A’s, honors, full ride to a decent college…but life had other plans.

You look at Rafe as you wait for the teacher to start the meeting. He’s sitting up straight, listening intently, and your chest tightens a little.

The same guy who used to blow off any responsibility now sitting here, laser-focused, ready to step up for his little sister. The teacher starts talking about Wheezie’s grades, how she’s been falling behind in math, and you can see the guilt in his face. You squeeze his knee under the table, trying to ground him, but honestly? This was hitting a little too close to home for you, too.

“I can help her,” You hear yourself say before you’ve even really thought about it. Rafe turns to look at you, surprised, and you shrug like it’s no big deal.

The teacher blinks, probably not expecting the girlfriend to jump in with a solution. “What did you score on your final exams?”

You move in your seat, not expecting the question but not exactly shy about your answer either. "I got a 1600 on my SATs," You said, trying to sound casual about it, even though you could see Rafe’s eyebrows shoot up next to you. 

The teacher’s eyes widen slightly. "That’s impressive," she says, "You must’ve had a lot of options for college."

You shrug again feeling that familiar feeling of bittersweet regret. "Yeah, I had a full ride to a few places.”

“And you didn’t go?”

The way she says says it—like she can’t imagine why you wouldn’t go—hurts a little. 

"Yeah, well... life happened." You try to brush it off like it doesn’t bother you.

Rafe’s hand slides over to yours under the table, interlocking your fingers and giving you a gentle squeeze. It’s subtle, but it’s enough for you. To remind you that you made the right choices, even if they weren’t easy ones.

The meeting wraps up pretty quickly after that.

The teacher gives Rafe some advice on how to help Wheezie stay on track, and you both thank her before heading out of the classroom. As you walk down the hallway, he stays quiet for a bit, and you can’t really read what’s going through his head.

By the time you get back to the truck, he turns to you, his brow furrowed slightly, like he’s still processing everything. "You got a perfect score on your SATs?"

Three years into the relationship and he’s still learning things about you every day.

You let out a small laugh, brushing some hair behind your ear. "Yeah. It’s not a big deal."

"That’s kinda insane," he says, looking at you like he’s seeing a whole new side of you. “Why didn’t you ever tell me that?”

You shrug for the millionth time today, suddenly feeling a little shy. “I don’t know. It just never came up. It’s not like it matters now, anyway.”

"It does matter." His voice is firm, and when you glance over, you can see how serious he looks. "You gave up a lot to help your sister. That’s not nothing."

Your throat tightens, and you have to swallow down the emotion rising inside you. The way Rafe says it, like he actually gets it, means more than he probably knows. "I just did what I had to do."

He nods slowly, like he understands that feeling all too well. "You didn’t have to offer to help Wheezie today. But you did.”

You don’t want to make a big deal out of it. "I want to help her. She deserves it."

Rafe doesn’t say anything, just looks at you with this soft, almost disbelieving expression. Like he can’t wrap his head around the fact that you’re still here, beside him, helping his family without a second thought.

"You’re amzing, y’know that?" he murmurs, his voice low and warm in that way that makes your stomach flip.

You feel your cheeks heat up, a shy smile tugging at your lips. "Stop."

"I mean it." He reaches over, cupping your face gently with his hand, thumb brushing lightly across your cheek. His eyes soften as they meet yours, filled with so much adoration it makes you want to hide. "I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m really fucking grateful."

You bite your lip, glancing down at his other hand on your knee before looking back up at him.

"You’ve been working hard. For yourself, for us. I see that."

His jaw tightens just slightly, and he looks down, almost like he’s not sure how to take the compliment. But when his eyes meet yours again,

"I’m trying," he says quietly. "I’m trying to be better."

"And you are," you whisper. "Every day."

The months of hard work, the late nights when you’ve held him through his doubts, the mornings when he’s shown up for his family even when it was hard. It’s all there, between you, unspoken but understood.

Rafe leans in, pressing his forehead to yours, his breath warm against your skin. "Thank you," he whispers. "For everything."

You close your eyes, letting the moment settle around you. "I’ll always be here," you whisper back. "We’ve got this."

“I don’t think I would’ve made it this far without you.”

You swallow hard, trying not to let it hit you too deep. But it does. Because for all the mess you’ve been through—his ups and downs, his relapse, his constant fight to be better—it always comes back to you. To this.

“I’ll always have your back,” You remind him quietly. “You know that, right?”

He nods, like there’s absolutely no doubt in his mind. “I know. You’re really good with her," he says after a beat. "With Wheezie. And with Milo."

You smile, leaning back in your seat. "Yeah, well, someone’s gotta look after the kids, right? Might as well be me."

Rafe’s lips twitch into another smile as he leans over, pressing a soft kiss to your temple, "Thank you, baby.”

“For what?”

“For sticking around,” he says, pulling back slightly to look at you. “Even when I didn’t make it easy.”

 “You make it worth it, Rafe. You always have.”

Because seeing him like this—happy, strong, responsible, and healthy—it’s more than just him trying. It’s him becoming the person you always believed he could be, from day one on that stupid country club. And that? That’s something you’d stick around for any day.

When you and Rafe pull up to Tannyhill, the sun’s already setting. You grab your bag from the backseat, and he takes a deep breath, his hand hovering near yours like he needs to hold onto you just for a second longer. When you step into the house, you’re greeted by the usual stillness that fills the place. It’s huge, but it always feels too quiet.

Wheezie’s sitting at the kitchen island, hunched over her phone, clearly trying to distract herself. Her leg’s bouncing nervously under the stool, and you don’t even have to say anything to know that she’s been dreading this moment.

As soon as she sees the two of you, she freezes, eyes wide, "Hey," she greets, her voice shaky.

Rafe glances at you, and you give him a small nod. You know he’s trying to figure out how to handle this—he’s never really had to play the role of ‘responsible older brother’ before. But he’s doing it. He’s trying. And that’s what matters.

"Wheeze," Rafe starts, as he walks over to her, and you can see the panic rising in her eyes as she sits up straighter like she’s preparing for the worst. "Why didn’t you tell me?"

She bites her lip, glancing between the two of you. "I-I didn’t want to bother you," she mumbles, her voice small. "You’ve been dealing with a lot, and I thought— I don’t know. I thought I could handle it on my own."

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. He’s quiet for a second, and you can feel Wheezie’s anxiety practically buzzing out of her. She’s probably expecting him to yell, to go off on her, but instead, he takes a step forward and pulls her into a hug.

"You ever keep something like that from me again," he mutters into her hair, his tone firm but warm, "and you’re grounded."

Wheezie’s eyes go wide in shock, like she wasn’t expecting that at all. Her arms wrap around him a little awkwardly, but you can tell she’s relieved. She pulls back after a second, staring up at him with those big brown eyes of hers. "You’re not mad?"

Rafe shakes his head, but his expression is serious. "I’m not mad. I’m worried, Wheeze. I’m here, okay? I got you."

"I’m sorry," she whispers.

He sighs again, rubbing a hand over his face before looking at her. "Don’t be sorry. Just don’t do it again."

She nods quickly, and you step closer, offering her a small smile. "You’re not in trouble, Wheezie. I’m gonna help you with the math stuff, okay? I promise."

Wheezie looks over at you, clearly surprised, and then back at Rafe. "You’re… really not mad?"

Rafe rolls his eyes but in that big-brother way that’s full of affection.

"No, Wheeze, I’m not mad. But next time you’re struggling with something, tell me. That’s what I’m here for."

She nods, relief washing over her features. "Okay. I will."

Rafe reaches out and ruffles her hair, something so casual and brotherly it makes your heart swell.

"Good. Now go do whatever you do, and remember—grounded if you pull that shit again."

You slap his arm, “Will stop cursing in front of her?”

He shoots you a half-smirk, looking completely unbothered. "Please baby, she’s sixteen. You think she doesn’t curse?"

Wheezie lets out a small laugh, covering her mouth as if she’s trying to keep it together, but you can tell she’s relieved. 

"Yeah, but maybe not in front of her big brother," you tease, raising an eyebrow at him.

Rafe shrugs, looking like he couldn’t care less. "If she’s smart enough to hide it from me, more power to her."

Wheezie giggles again, and you can’t help but smile. "Yeah, yeah," you sigh, rolling your eyes at him playfully. "You’re a great role model, Rafe Cameron."

He groans, “Please don’t use the full name.” The corners of his mouth tug up in a grin that makes your heart skip. “Alright, no more big brother lectures tonight. We’re good, yeah, Wheeze?”

Wheezie nods, still smiling. “Yeah, we’re good.”

[its-avalon-08]

im not giving up on you (dr3)

after the singapore gp, i was sobbing. danny, our sunshine danny might be leaving us and that broke my heart so entirely. here is to out honey badger, you made me love this sport, seeing your smile was the only light on some dark days. you made it, you lived your formula one dream and you will always be able to say that. for always making us laugh and find joy in the butterflies, we thank you daniel <3

✦ pairing - daniel ricciardo x female!reader

✦ genre - angst, losing his seat, tears, fluffy ending

The Singapore night was thick with humidity, the scent of burning rubber still clinging to the air long after the race had ended. Daniel Ricciardo walked through the now-empty paddock, the silence overwhelming. The once-vibrant energy that pulsed through the grounds was now replaced with nothing but the dull hum of the lights, casting long shadows that made the place feel eerily lonely.

Daniel had always been good at putting on a strong face. Smiling, joking, pretending everything was fine. He had perfected it over the years. But tonight, the facade had cracks — deep, painful cracks that threatened to break him entirely.

After the Singapore GP, the world knew. The news had broken: Daniel was losing his seat at V-CARB. Another seat lost. Another chapter closing. And it felt as though he had lost everything again. He couldn’t bear to face his team, his friends. Not even Max. So he stayed in the paddock long after everyone had left, sitting alone on a stack of tires, his head in his hands.

He didn’t hear the footsteps at first.

"Daniel?"

The voice was soft, familiar, and full of concern. He looked up, blinking through the blur of tears that stung his eyes. There she was — Y/N Verstappen. Max’s little sister.

She had always been around, always there, a comforting presence from the days when he and Max were teammates. She had been his friend, but it was so much more than that. They had danced around their feelings for years, never daring to speak the truth, both afraid of what it might mean.

Daniel quickly wiped his eyes, trying to pull himself together. "Hey," he said, his voice strained, cracking under the weight of his emotions. "What are you doing here?"

"I should ask you the same," Y/N replied softly, stepping closer. "It’s late."

"I couldn’t leave," he admitted, his eyes staring at the ground, unable to meet hers. "It’s just… a lot."

Y/N stood in front of him, her eyes searching his face. She could see right through him. "You don’t have to pretend with me, Daniel."

"I’m not pretending," he lied, letting out a shaky laugh. "I’m fine. It’s just another bump in the road, right? I’ll bounce back. I always do."

But even as he spoke, his voice trembled, and Y/N could hear the pain beneath his words. She sat down beside him on the tires, close enough to feel the heat radiating off him in the humid night air, but still hesitant to touch him.

"It’s okay to not be fine," she whispered, her voice barely above a breath.

Daniel’s jaw tightened as he looked away, blinking rapidly. He didn’t want her to see him like this. He had always been the strong one, the happy-go-lucky guy who could handle anything. But tonight, the weight of everything was crushing him.

"I feel like I’m losing everything," he finally admitted, his voice breaking. "Like no matter what I do, no matter how hard I fight, it’s never enough. I’m never enough."

Y/N’s heart ached at the sight of him like this — so vulnerable, so raw. She reached out hesitantly, her hand gently resting on his arm. "Daniel… you’re more than enough. You’ve always been more than enough."

He shook his head, biting down on his lip as tears welled up in his eyes again. "I don’t know how to keep going. Everyone keeps telling me to just keep my head up, keep smiling. But I’m tired, Y/N. I’m so tired."

Her hand tightened around his arm, the warmth of her touch grounding him in that moment. "You don’t have to do this alone."

Daniel’s shoulders shook as he exhaled a deep, shaky breath. He didn’t have the strength to pretend anymore. The tears he had been holding back for so long finally fell, spilling down his cheeks as he covered his face with his hands, his body trembling with silent sobs.

Y/N felt her own tears start to fall as she watched him break down, the sight of him so utterly heartbroken making her chest ache. She couldn’t hold back any longer. Without thinking, she pulled him into her arms, wrapping him in a tight embrace.

"I’ve got you," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "I’ve always got you."

Daniel buried his face in her shoulder, his arms wrapping around her waist as he clung to her, the dam of emotions finally breaking. He sobbed into her neck, all the pain, frustration, and helplessness pouring out of him. And Y/N held him, stroking his hair, whispering soothing words in his ear.

"I don’t know what to do, Y/N," Daniel choked out between sobs. "I feel like I’ve failed. Again."

"You haven’t failed," she insisted, pulling back just enough to look at him, her hands cupping his tear-streaked face. "You’ve given everything, Daniel. You’ve fought so hard. You’re one of the best drivers out there, and no seat can take that away from you. Not now, not ever."

Daniel let out a long sigh, pulling away slightly from Y/N’s embrace, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. His voice was quieter now, but it carried a weight that hadn’t been there before, like he was finally allowing himself to speak the truth that had been buried deep inside for years.

"You know," he began, staring out at the empty paddock, "when I left Red Bull, I thought I was making the best decision of my life. I really did. I thought… this was it, you know? My time. I didn’t want to be second to Max — your brother’s an incredible driver, you know that. But I couldn’t sit there anymore, watching everyone around me believe I’d always be the second-best. I wanted to be number one. I wanted my own team to back me, to believe in me. And at the time, Renault seemed like that opportunity, like I could prove I could lead a team, that I could fight for championships."

He laughed bitterly, running a hand through his hair. "God, I was so naïve. I thought leaving Red Bull would be the start of my rise, not the beginning of my fall. Renault wasn’t easy, but I stuck it out. Then McLaren came calling, and I thought that was my shot. It was McLaren, you know? One of the biggest names in Formula 1. I thought I was stepping into greatness."

He paused, his voice trembling. "And then everything fell apart. From the start, it felt wrong. Like I didn’t belong there. I tried so damn hard, Y/N. I worked my ass off, but nothing clicked. No matter what I did, how much time I put in, it never worked. Every race, every session, I felt like I was slipping further away from the driver I used to be. And it wasn’t just the car — it was everything. The pressure, the doubts, the whispers that I’d lost it, that I wasn’t the driver I once was."

He swallowed hard, the pain of those years written across his face. "They treated me like I was broken. Like I was damaged goods. And I started to believe it. Every time I got into that car, I felt like a shadow of myself. They replaced me without a second thought, like I was disposable. And I tried to be strong, you know? I tried to tell myself that it didn’t matter, that I’d bounce back. But deep down, it hurt. It hurt more than anything."

Y/N squeezed his hand, her heart aching for him, but she stayed silent, letting him speak.

"And then this year," he continued, his voice cracking. "I thought coming back to V-CARB was going to be my redemption. That this was finally going to be the moment where I’d prove to everyone that I still had it. But now… now I’m losing my seat again. And it just feels like the world’s telling me I’m not wanted. That no one believes in me anymore. Every time I think I’m getting back on my feet, I just get knocked down again. It’s like no matter what I do, no one sees me. Not as I am, not for what I can be. They just see what they think I’ve become — a has-been."

Daniel’s voice grew quieter, almost a whisper. "I feel… I feel like I’m unwanted, Y/N. Like I don’t belong anywhere anymore. I used to love this sport so much. It was everything to me. But now it feels like it’s slipping away, like I’m being pushed out, and I don’t know what to do."

He ran his hands over his face, the weight of his journey pressing down on him like a heavy burden. "I’ve given everything to this sport. Years of my life, my heart, my soul. I sacrificed everything to chase this dream. And now… I’m just scared, Y/N. I’m scared that no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be enough. I’ll never get back to where I once was."

There was a long pause, the silence between them thick with emotion. Daniel’s chest rose and fell as he tried to steady his breathing, but his eyes were red, his cheeks stained with tears.

"I just… I don’t know how to stop feeling like I’m failing. Like I’ve lost everything that mattered. And it’s killing me, Y/N. I don’t know if I can keep pretending like I’m okay, when inside, I’m falling apart."

Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, pulling him close. "Daniel, you’ve never been a failure. Not to me. You’re the strongest person I know, and no matter what happens, no seat, no team, no damn race can take away who you are. You’ve always been enough."

And this time, Daniel didn’t pull away. He sank into her embrace, the tears falling once again, but this time, it felt different. He wasn’t alone.

His eyes searched hers, filled with so much pain, so much doubt. "What if this is it? What if this is the end for me?"

"It’s not the end," Y/N said firmly, her thumbs brushing away the tears on his cheeks. "And even if it were, you’d still be Daniel Ricciardo — the man I…"

She stopped, the words hanging in the air between them, unspoken for years.

Daniel’s breath hitched as he realized what she was about to say. "Y/N…"

She looked away, her own tears threatening to spill over. "I’ve loved you for so long, Daniel. And I hate seeing you like this. I hate that you’re hurting, and I hate that I never told you sooner because maybe… maybe you wouldn’t have to go through this alone."

Daniel was silent for a moment, his mind racing as her words sank in. He had always known. Deep down, he had always known. But hearing it, finally hearing it… it shattered something inside him.

"I’ve loved you too," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I’ve loved you since… since forever, Y/N. But I was scared. I didn’t want to lose you. I couldn’t lose you."

She looked at him, her heart breaking at the sight of the tears in his eyes. "You could never lose me."

Daniel leaned his forehead against hers, his breath shaky as they both cried, the weight of their unspoken feelings finally crashing down on them.

"I need you," he whispered, his voice barely audible.

"I’m here," she replied, her arms wrapping around him again, holding him as if she would never let go.

They stayed like that for a long time, clinging to each other, their tears mingling in the humid night air. And when the exhaustion finally overtook them, Daniel shifted, pulling Y/N down with him onto the bench beside the tires. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, their bodies fitting together perfectly as they lay there in the silence of the paddock.

Y/N rested her head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat as they both closed their eyes, the weight of the world fading away for a little while.

And in the stillness of the night, they finally found peace in each other’s arms, their unspoken love wrapped around them like a blanket, protecting them from the world outside.

the next day

The next morning, the sun filtered through the windows of the small café tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the paddock. Daniel felt lighter today. His heart still ached, the reality of his situation hadn't magically disappeared overnight, but there was something different. A quiet peace had settled inside him. Maybe it was because, for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t carrying his burdens alone.

He glanced at Y/N across the table. She was scrolling through her phone, a soft smile tugging at her lips as she absentmindedly tapped her fingers against the table. His chest warmed at the sight of her. Y/N was always there, had always been there, but now it was different. Last night changed everything.

They hadn’t said much that morning, but they didn’t need to. She had been a constant presence at his side, making him feel like, no matter what, he’d be okay.

“So,” Y/N said, breaking the comfortable silence. “You ready for this?”

Daniel chuckled, taking a sip of his coffee. "Depends. Is Max going to kill me or just be incredibly smug?"

Y/N laughed, and Daniel could swear it was his favorite sound in the world. “He’ll be a bit of both, probably. But definitely more smug. He’s been calling this for years.”

As if on cue, Max Verstappen walked into the café, spotting them immediately. He made a beeline for their table, his signature serious expression betraying just the faintest hint of amusement. He slid into the seat across from them, a wry smile on his face.

"Morning," Max said, folding his arms across his chest, eyes flicking between the two of them. "Well, well, well. Look what we have here."

Daniel groaned playfully, rubbing the back of his neck. "Go on, get it out of your system."

Max leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms, and grinned. "I knew it. I’ve known it since, what, the first year we were teammates? You two were practically inseparable. The way you used to look at each other…" He shook his head, pretending to be exasperated. "I can’t believe it took you this long."

Y/N blushed, rolling her eyes. "Alright, Max, don’t be so dramatic. It wasn’t that obvious."

Max raised an eyebrow. "Y/N, you’re my sister. You think I didn’t notice how every time Daniel was around, you’d act different? Or how he was always finding some excuse to come over when you were visiting?"

Daniel groaned again, leaning back in his chair. "Okay, okay, you were right. Is that what you want to hear?"

Max smirked, taking a long sip of his coffee. "Yes. Yes, it is." He paused, then his expression softened, his teasing giving way to something more sincere. "But seriously, I’m happy for you both. You’re good together."

Daniel felt his heart swell at that. Max wasn’t the type to dish out compliments easily, especially when it came to his sister. He knew how protective Max was of Y/N, and hearing those words meant more than he could express.

"Thanks, mate," Daniel said quietly, meeting Max’s gaze. "It means a lot."

Max gave a small nod before turning his attention to Y/N. "Just promise me one thing — if he does anything stupid, you’ll let me know so I can give him hell for it."

Y/N laughed, giving her brother a playful shove. "I’m pretty sure I can handle him, Max."

Max grinned. "I have no doubt."

The three of them fell into an easy rhythm after that, the conversation light, the teasing back and forth, just like old times. For a brief moment, it felt like everything was as it should be — like the weight of the past few months had lifted, even if just for a little while.

As Max droned on about the next race and the changes to his car, Daniel glanced at Y/N, who was laughing at something Max had said. She caught his gaze, her smile softening, and in that moment, Daniel realized that no matter what happened next — no matter how uncertain the future felt — he wasn’t alone.

For the first time in a long time, he felt like he belonged. Not just in the sport or on the track, but with Y/N by his side. And whatever came next, they’d face it together.

"So," Max said suddenly, breaking through Daniel’s thoughts. "You’re both officially a thing now?"

Daniel smirked, his hand finding Y/N’s under the table. "Yeah, Max. We’re a thing."

Max raised his coffee cup in a mock toast. "Finally."

Y/N giggled, squeezing Daniel’s hand as they exchanged a knowing look.

Finally.

[thebestsetter]

Doing the "Oh Mister Todd" trend with Blue Lock boys

- A/N: If you don't know what trend it is, just search: "Mister Todd couples" on tktk!

- Characters: Isagi Yoichi, Rin Itoshi, Bachira Meguru

Isagi Yoichi:

"Yoichi!" You shouted from your bed, trying your hardest to surpress your smile and the giddiness that were almost papable in your voice "My love, can you come here?"

"Sure! Coming in a minute, babe!" You heard your boyfriend answering from downstairs. You then quickly got up and began setting up your phone, smiling hard all the while.

Here's what happened: you were blissfully scrolling through Tik tok while trying to pass time in a (pretty boring) afternoon, when, all of a sudden, you came across one of the cutest videos ever: a couple doing the "Mister Todd" trend.

You had already seen it a couple of times, but never had the chance to do it with Yoichi due to his (sadly packed) schedule. Lucky you, he was on a break from football right now, and was washing the dishes while you relaxed cause, according to him, "While he's here, you won't have to worry about the house chores anymore. He's here to soften your load", he said. (He can be the hero of Japan, sure, but that doesn't mean he can't wash plates and cutlery)

"What is it, love?" He said, entering the room and still wearing a silly "kiss the cook" apron you bought so he could avoid getting wet (how the hell do you wash spoons without getting wet??). He dried his hands on his pants and asked "Do you need my help with something?"

"Yup!" You said, popping the 'p' "I need you to sit right here!" You pointed to a chair that was in front of your dressing table

"Sure...? I don't really get where you're going with this, but I trust you anyway" he said, smiling suspiciously.

When he sat down, he finally took notice of the phone that was propped up against the mirror. He then smiled and waved to the phone, even though you still hadn't began to record.

"Okay. Now, I'm gonna need you to sit still and look pretty. Think you can do it, pretty boy?"

It doesn't matter how long you guys have been dating for. Everytime you call him "pretty boy", Yoichi becomes a blushing and stuttering mess.

"S-sure!" He said, the words coming out rather bashfully and forcefully. It made him more shy then he'd like it to.

Giggling at the effect you had over him (and from how cute your boy was), you pressed the record button and began mouthing the lyrics.

"Oh, Mister Todd"

You then kissed him.

His eyes widened.

If there was one thing Isagi has NEVER grown used to, it's your kisses (and, frankly, he doesn't think he ever would) . The feeling of your lips on his skin feels like heaven on earth, and it always leaves him feeling dumbfounded and lightheaded (in a good way).

"I'm so happy"

Followed by another kiss.

He was literally burning up. His cheeks, his ears, everything in him was red. A bright, strong red. And only you had that effect over him.

"I could" Kiss

"Eat you up I really could" Kiss

Slowly but surely, a smile began spreading across his lips, his eyes sparkling with the love he held for you. It was a wobbly a smile. A lovesick smile. An absolutely helpless smile. A smile that portraied exactly how head over heels for you.

"You know what I'd like to do, Mister Todd?"

His eyes left the camera and began staring at you. His gaze was so strong it made you feel nervous. And what you didn't know was that it didn't reflect 10% of his love for you. His feelings were so, so strong that he was sure you'd never get it. You were his everything, and he was so glad he had met you.

"What I dream?" Kiss

"If the business stays as good?"

Gathering all the courage he had, Isagi gently cupped your cheek and leaned in, locking gazes. He then began slowly reaching for your lips, his eyes quickly leaving yours to stare at your mouth. He smiled at you, finally closing his eyes and then leaning in, kissing you like his life depended on it.

You got so distracted by the overwhelming amount of emotion that Yoichi put in the kiss that you totally forgot your phone.

Sadly, nothing lasts forever, and you eventually had to pull away. You both stared at eachother for a while longer, surrounded by a gentle silence.

"Send me that video, pretty, please?" He said, voice as quiet as a mouse. If you didn't stop to analyse the break in his voice between the pretty and the please, you wouldn't even get that he was complimenting you. And that's one of the things that drove you insane for Yoichi: he was smart. So, so smart.

"Okay" you agreed, relutanctly letting go of his face and reaching for your phone, still a little dizzy from the kiss "There. I did it"

"Thanks." He said, and then looked at you with a (stupidly attractive) smirk "Also, if these are the kind of trends you're gonna do with me in the future, don't hesitate to call me. I loved it."

He then kissed you again. So full of passion. So full of love. So him.

Sadly, once again, he had to pull away.

"Welp, those dishes won't wash themselves. You should sleep, sweetie." Yoichi said, kissing your forehead "Don't worry, I'll come lay with you in, like, 30 minutes. I'll also be here when you wake up."

"Okay then. I'm gonna go ahead and lay down. I love you, Yoichi"

How he loved hearing those words coming out of your mouth.

"I love you too, babe."

He smiled, turning off the lights and closing the door.

You then went to sleep with a mind full of him and him only, still feeling his lips on your forehead.

Oh, how you loved being able of calling him "yours".

Bonus!:

"Damn it!" Yoichi said, breaking yet another plate he tried to place on the kitchen counter and accidentaly slipped from his hands. He really didn't want to make any noise and end up waking you up, but he had no control over this! You left him so dazzed!

With a sigh, Yoichi stared at his phone. He contemplated for a minute, but ultimately decided to grab it. Putting in the code to open the phone (your anniversary), he went to the galery and clicked on the video you just recorded.

"Just once" he thought.

The music echoed through the whole room, until it abruptly ended. The only sound that could be heard was Yoichi's heart, beating strongly and indomitable.

"Once is too little. I'ma watch it twice"

The sound began. The last kiss was heard. The beating of his heart became louder.

"...three time's the charm, right?"

17 times. That's the amount of times he watched that damn video, blushing and smiling like a lovesick teen girl all the while.

"I love you" he whispered to no one in particular, but it was obviously meant for you. "Man, how did I bag you?"

He hugged the phone close to his chest and looked to the stairs, giddy over the fact that, when he went to the second floor, you would be there on the bed, just waiting to cuddle with him.

He was so happy to be called "yours".

Rin Itoshi:

"No! We can't go there! The monster's gonna get us!"

"Don't worry, my love. I'm strong enough to protect us from that scary monster!"

Boring.

That's the only thought that was running through your head while you and Rin were both cuddling on the couch, a crappy horror movie in the background. Every friday you do this, and sometimes you pick a bad movie, but damn, this was worse than bad! This one was terrible!

"This movie sucks" you sighed, frustrated. You then reached for his phone and began using it, since you both usually shared phones "I'm not gonna watch it anymore"

"We've watched worse ones" He argued, still focused on the movie.

You then started to scroll through the endless abysm of internet, using the movie as background noise so the room wouldn't fall totally silent.

Then, like a gift from God, an interesting video appeared in your for you (you had your tktk account logged in his phone, since he rarely used his).

'Mister Todd, huh?' You thought, lifiting an eyebrow.

Smirking like you're a little kid planning something naughty (which, honestly, you kinda are), you got everything ready in your phone and stared at him, batting your eyelashes

"Rinnieeee" you slurred "I need your help"

"What?" he answered, not taking his eyes off his phone "What do you want?"

"Sorry, let me rearrange the sentence: Rinnie, my love, my one and only, could you please lend me a loving and helping hand?"

Sighing like he was tired of your shineningans (even though you both knew he could never be tired of you), Rin finally paused the movie and stared back at you

"What is it, love?"

"That's better" your smirk got even bigger. You quickly gave him the phone, which made him shot you a confused look "Now, sit up and hold the phone in front of us, like we're taking a selfie"

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

Still a little hesitant, he complied. You then hugged him and said:

"Okay. Relax and start the video"

He didn't even have the strenght to question anymore (he was actually just curious about what the hell you were trying to do), so he just did what he was told.

Instantly, a song started to play in the background. He was still very confused about the whole thing, so he just stared at you. You then began to sing while staring at the camera.

If there was one thing about Rin Itoshi, was that he usually didn't show his emotions. He was good at hiding them through his body language, not letting anyone know what he truly thought about most situations. He was impartial most of the time, shooting a serious (almost angry) expression at everyone.

If there was another thing about Rin was that his eyes betray him. He just can't seem to force them to stay neutral. If he was sad, they'd get red. If he was angry, they'd burn like fire. If he was happy, they'd shine.

And he was over the moon right now.

When you kissed him after the first line of the song, he didn't react. It was just too fast! One second you were looking at the camera, and the other your lips were touching his cheeks. Sadly, just as fast as it happened, it ended.

Luckily for him, you did it again. And again. And again.

By the fourth kiss, Rin was utterly speechless. He was feeling lightheaded, his eyes carrying a rare spark in them. His teal orbs were intensely staring at you, trying to convey all the love he felt for you and didn't usually show.

It was so intense, so strong that you felt like fainting on the spot. He looked at you like a kid looking at their favorite toy, like a homeless man looked at a five-star meal, like a dog looked at it's owner after not seeing them for weeks. He looked at you like you were the only woman in the world, like you were the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid his eyes on. The spark in his eyes shined brighter than the brightest star you've ever saw.

A subtle smile crossed his lips, his gaze never wavering.

He could feel his face burning, and he was sure he was so, so red. He must look ridiculous, he thought, but strangely, he couldn't give a damn.

When he remembered he was recording though, his first instinct was to cover his face.

He gently but firmly nuzzled his head between your neck and shoulder, trying his hardest to not let his face show. Sadly, his (burning red) ears could still be seen.

When the last line of the song came and you kissed him for the last time (on the hair, since he was hiding his face), he put down his phone and sighed.

"Did you like it, Rin?" You giggled, passing your hands through his hair

"Mhm" he hummed, shy.

"I'm glad you did" you grabbed his face, lifting it (which earned an unsatisfied "Ughh" from him) and giving his forehead a kiss with an exhagerated 'Mwah!' sound. "I love you Rinnie"

"...I love you too" he said, hugging you hard and burying his face in your shoulder again, this time even deeper than before

A comfortable silence settled in the room. Tired from the day, you drifted off in Rin's arms, feeling his strong hold in your waist. You really did love your boy, even if he acted like a nonchalant prick sometimes.

Bonus!:

Usually, when you wake up, the first thing you do is check your phone for any e-mails, texts or any important notifications. Normally you get, like, 100 at max, since Rin never made your relationship public. That's why, normally, you do expect some of them.

What you didn't expect was that you'd get Tik Tok famous overnight. All thanks to your boyfriend, Rin Itoshi.

You remember that account he never uses? Yeah, it seemes like he finally found an utility for it.

"Off the market." The caption read. It was probably an indirect answer to a news article that got out the week before about how he was "going out with some model girl from Vogue"

You quickly widened your eyes and then ran to the comment session of the video, wanting to see what the 2.7 million people that liked it thought about it.

It0shis_lover: HELLO??? WDYM RIN'S DATING SOMEONE???

nonickyet<3: THEY'RE SO CUTE UGHHH

Isaa.Ichi: Hey, so this is actually insane! Never thought he'd have the balls to actually show his relationship

↳ Itoshi_Rin.: Why don't you go train to try and get at least closer to my level instead of commenting about my relationship online?

↳Isaa.Ichi: I don't need to. I'm already better than you, fcker.

THE._MONSTER: I HOPE HE'S TREATING YOU RIGHT, POOKIE!! DW, I'LL BEAT HIM UP IF HE EVER HURT YOU

Hiorinn_: Wow.

Ryushidou: If you ever get tired of him, just hmu 😘

↳ Itoshi_Rin.: Kys

↳ username: DON'T SAY THIS, RIN!!

username: OKAY, I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS

↳Itoshi_Rin.: Sorry

Laughing hard, you put the phone down.

Shit, you loved him so much. And he loved you too. That was something you hoped would never change.

Bachira Meguru:

"Meguru! Hahahaha! It's too high!" you said, laughing while your boyfriend, Bachira, pushed you in the swings of an empty children's playground.

"Don't worry! If you fall, I'll catch you with my strong and manly arms" he said, even though he slowed down.

After a while, your swing came to a halt. He sat on the one beside you, holding the chains and looking at the sky

He began humming a melody you knew all too well (it was his favorite song, after all), gently rocking himself.

Surrounded by his gentle singing, you got lost in your thoughts.

You didn't want this date to be over, so you were trying to think of something to make sure you both would still have time to do something fun and that took at least some time.

You didn't have to think too hard, though, since you quickly remembered a trend you saw on tik tok that you'd like to do with your boyfriend.

You got up from where you were sat and propped your phone against a slide's stair.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Bachira asked in a curious way, also getting up and going to where you were

"Something that i'm gonna need your help to do" You smiled, clicking the button and beggining the timer. "Just stay by my side, okay?"

"M'kay!" Bachira said, standing beside you and smiling at the phone

The melody began playing.

Even though he was a chronic internet user, his "For you" didn't have any romantic videos. It mostly consisted of memes, so that's why he never saw this trend.

If he knew that the romantic part of tik tok had trends like this, he'd have started to watch it's videos a lot sooner.

When you kissed him for the first time, Meguru Bachira felt like he would die from happiness.

His body felt like it was shaking, and his thoughts were going a mile per hour, even though all of them had the same theme: you.

He still tried to stay still, though, since it was what you asked him to do.

When you gave him the second kiss, he couldn't take it anymore.

"My turn!" He said, using his hand to put your cheeks together and making your lips pucker up.

He then began kissing you everywhere. Your lips, your forehead, your eyebrows, your eyelids. Everywhere his mouth could reach.

He wanted to show his love for you. He wanted to convey at least half of the strength of his emotions through his kisses. That's why he gave you so many.

The music continued. His kisses also continued. The music stopped. He couldn't care less: he continued kissing you.

Each kiss was a gentle "thank you". For staying with him. For loving him when nobody else did. He loved you. He loved you so, so much.

With one last exhagerated kiss on your lips, Meguru pulled away, but quickly hugged you right after

"I love you" he exclaimed "I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you." He seriously felt like crying "Stay with me, please"

You laughed, reaching for his cheek and kissing it.

"I love you too, Meguru" you smiled at him "And you don't need to worry. I'm not goimg anywhere"

In that empty playground, you both proclaimed your love for one another, sealing with kisses a gentle promise:

You would never leave the other alone.

Bonus:

"Isagi! Help! I lost my phone!" Bachira said, looking through the whole dressing room for it

"I'm gonna try and call it" Yoichi said, doing exactly as he said right after

"Oh mister Todd

I'm so happy

I could

Eat you up, I really could!"

"Found it!" Bachira said, holding his phone up "It was actually inside my bag"

"...sure" Yoichi said, sweating. Curious, he asked: "What kind of ringtone was that?"

"A very special one, Isagi. A very special one..." Meguru said, looking up at the sky and hugging his phone close to his chest like he was in a movie.

"...okay then...."

Man, his bestfriend sure was strange sometimes.

- Can you tell I lost motivation on Bachira's part? 🫠

ALSO, Rin's part has a kind of "smau". It was heavily inspired by another writer here on tumblr. Their name is @sanaexus (if you don't feel comfortable being tagged, just send me an ask!!), and you should totally read their stories/smaus, they're excelent!! Really, I love their smaus smm

Masterlist

[goldsbitch]

Not on the menu

Making out in public is not something to be shameful, right?

light smut, minors DNI, angst

note: this is my first Franco fic. this man came, served and what are we suppose to do?!

When it feels this good, it's worth breaking few rules.

You and Franco. Very well protected love affair. A fling. Just two young people who somehow end up in each other's beds whenever the opportunity arises.

Working in F2 as one of the production assistants was more exciting than one might think. Everyone would always praise F1, the size of the teams, the budgets, the glam surrounding it. F2 was different, more loose and less on the spotlight. Full of professionals, who just like drivers, worked their asses off just for a chance to progress into F1. But you were just so young, just starting and unlike with the drivers, you had no rush, plenty of time for that in the next years. It was all about learning, getting to know people and also, occasionally, having some good fun. It's hard to keep young people on a leash. Lot of travel involved, hotel rooms and many people mingling around, leads to just one thing. It wasn't special or albeit scandalous to fool around with a fellow crew member, in fact many marriages started like that, no matter the rank or department. Life on the road has its habits.

So when you first ended up on a dance floor with the ever-so-charming Franco at one of the opening events for F2, it was not such a surprise that you ended at his hotel room. Way less wondering eyes and almost no glam was at these evenings, the exact opposite of F1.

By some miracle, you managed to keep it a secret, apart from few closest friends, who served as an excuse for you two to actually hang out together. These few trusted souls witnessed their fair share of tipsy make outs and laughed collectively at your hickeys, which turned out to be his speciality. You never texted, never addressed your fling when sober. Deep down you knew you were curious to see how he was as a serious partner. But he never gave off that kind of a vibe. So you protected yourself, remained cool and decided that this was the peak your relation would ever be, and that was ok enough.

"So what about you and Franco?" a friend of you both asked you, once again. You hated when she did that. In her mind, it would be a great idea to have two of her friends together. But the truth was, she was way closer with him than you were. Nothing wrong with that, but it only reminded you of how shallow your interaction were. In order to keep you dignity while fooling around with a player, you pretended to be one as well. "You know how these things are, it's just physical. I don't think he's the kind of person I'd like to date." False. You knew that, but..! You stayed on the ground, he was just a bit out of your league. Simple as that. Soon enough he was gonna catch the eye of some model and you'll be old news. The whole thing would be way worse if anyone knew that you would actually be open to at least try and date him. It was hard to stop the daydreaming sometimes. "Yeah, that makes sense," was the only thing your friend, disappointed by your response, answered. You only wondered if she had conversations like this with him as well about you.

Life was good that one evening in August. At the time, you had no idea it will the last evening of that era. It was one of the typical dinners the wealthier members of the teams organized, a nice chill place to wind down after stressful days. You were sat few places from Franco, who was charming as ever. Raining smiles on everyone and stealing glances with you.

A text notification - Bathroom?

You gulped, locked eyes with him and gave a small nod. His smile was probably crafted specifically for you, somewhere in the depths of hell. Impossible to resist.

He got up and you followed a minute later, giving a knowing look to your mutual friend. She understood and happily covered for you in case someone else caught on.

It wasn't exactly the right thing to do, lock yourself in a room dedicated for nursing mothers. But better than blocking a bathroom.

"Aren't you a little old to be in this room?" you asked when you joined him and secured the door behind you. He was leaning over a counter, fingers tapping on the top. "I can't help it, I am hungry," Franco responded and gestured you to come closer to him. With a challenging look, you took few steps towards him. "This is a restaurant, you're at the right place."

"The things I want are not on the menu." He was done playing sneaking around and crashed his lips onto yours, as if to prove his hunger. He was just too good with his tongue. Taking you, like his little victim, making you forget the outside world still existed. His hand went to grab your neck, behind your ear, because by then he had figured out that keeping you in check was the thing that made your knees weak. His lips were locked with yours, in heated frenzy, not allowing any breath to be wasted. You knew how to play the game as well, and with a soft bite into his lower lip, drawing a gasp from him, you pulled away slightly, not allowing him to take full control. "Oh," he said, trying to steal another kiss from you while you pulled away more with satisfied smile. "Is this how it is now?" he continued, tone laced with intrigue and challenge. Your tongue reached to lick his lips once again. His hand suddenly lessened the pull towards him. "Oh, hermosa," he whispered, "two can play this game." Butterflies occupied your stomach. He stepped back and to your questioning look responded with another bloody wink. And then, then he grabbed you by the hips and lifted you up in the air and sat on the counter. You gasped, only amusing him more. Lost for words, you only raised your eyebrows. "Better," he said and with audacity only young boys have lifted your shift up. Without much of a thought you put your arms up and helped him get you slightly more naked. His eyes were shamelessly focus on your chest. "Almost there," he said and gestured towards your bra. "Go on. Take this horrible thing off." You chuckled, because as charming and suave he was, taking a bra off was a moment where he failed each time. Desire fueled you into making this quick. Now that you were sat, his eyes were at a similar lever to your boobs and there was something hot about his hungry look, watching you undress even more. Once you were finally fully bare, he observed you and the locked eyes with you once again.

"Pretty," was the only thing that he said before putting his lips on your left nipple for a gentle peck and then on the right one, which received a light bite. He decided to stay focused on that one, few kisses here and there and began to suck on it while his hand pinched the left one. Arrows of pleasure flew into your lower belly. He knew your weakness, he must have because this was sending you into other dimensions. Anything that feels this ecstatic would make anyone crumble. Whatever he did seemed to always work on you. He wasted no time with gentle touches. Not enough time for that. After nearly sending you over the edge with his lips dancing around and sucking on your nipple, moved a bit upwards and went for his signature move - marking your breasts with hickeys so purple it would take a week to heal. You bend your head backwards, trying to contain any loud noises your body wanted you to make in reaction to his actions. Another twirl around your sensitive nipple, bite into your skin and a hard squeeze. You did not want him to stop, too deep in it to think straight. But that must have been his plan from the beginning, because he put you on edge and then back away. You almost let a soft "No..." escape your mouth. With a puzzled look you slowly came down and remembered you were still in public. Heavy breaths and you gulped your way back to normal. He stepped back a bit and observed his mark on you. With an approving nod, he had the audacity to fix his boner up so that it was not so obvious. "Looking forward to seeing you later?" he asked with a tone that indicated the answer was obvious. You just nodded and reached for your bra, hoping his hickey was low enough it would not be visible. But, he had never made that kind of a mistake. You hopped down and gave him one more kiss, a slow and gentle this time, before he parted back to the dinner table. You joined in a minute, after fixing yourself up and trying to make your cheeks less red. Thankfully, there was only one another amused person when you came back to the table. Your friend raised her brows at you and drank her wine as if nothing ever happened.

Everything shower, hair on point, favorite perfume - you were all set and ready for how the evening would inevitably progress. This time you even made sure to clean your room. You got too comfortable with your expectations. Watching his every move, you noticed immediately when his expression changed from a casual smile to focused frown when reading a text on his phone. Was it something serious? Would he confide in later, sometimes it happened by accident. Secrets shared among tangled sheets. He got up and sent you a cheeky wink. You had to bite your cheek in order to stop the smile your body wanted to respond with, a small bruise burning inside your bra.

It took you fifteen minutes to realize he was not coming back from his phone call. You had his number, you could easily text him. But you didn't. And just like that, he was off to F1.

[solxamber]

Knights and Oaths - Leona Kingscholar x reader

You come from a long line of knights that have served the rulers of the Savannah. But sometimes traditions are meant to change and the second prince is looking like someone worth changing them for.

The sun hangs low in the sky, painting the Savannah in golden hues as you approach the ceremonial grounds. It’s been years leading up to this moment—years of training, discipline, and growing up side by side with royalty. Your mother serves Falena’s wife, and your father serves the king himself. By all accounts, it’s expected that you’ll follow suit and dedicate your knightly oath to Cheka, the five-year-old prince. That’s just how it’s always been—loyalty passed down through the generations, swearing fealty to the rightful heirs of the Sunset Savannah.

But you’ve never been one for following expectations.

Not when you’ve spent your childhood in the shadow of two princes, one of them your closest companion and sometimes, greatest annoyance. Leona Kingscholar—second prince of the Sunset Savannah, the man who always seemed just a step away from what he could have been. Too lazy to reach it. Too proud to admit it.

When you were kids, Leona’s idea of "training" usually involved you chasing him around, trying to get him to spar when he’d much rather nap beneath the acacia trees. "What’s the point?" he’d grumble, arms folded behind his head, the sun casting dappled shadows across his face. "No matter how hard I try, Falena's the one everyone cares about."

Yet somehow, despite his best efforts to seem indifferent, you always found yourself drawn into his orbit. There was something about Leona that you couldn’t ignore—a pull, a desire to prove himself despite his constant veneer of nonchalance. You saw him in a way others didn’t. And maybe, somewhere along the way, he saw you too.

That’s why today feels different. Your whole life, everyone assumed your path was already written. You’d swear your oath to Cheka, Falena’s son, just as your parents had sworn theirs to Falena and his wife. It was expected, anticipated. But they didn’t know the whole story. They didn’t know about you and Leona, the time spent laughing, bickering, and—more often than not—arguing over ridiculous things like who could run faster or who could climb the tallest tree.

Now here you are, stepping into the hunting grounds, your sword at your side, ready to make your choice.

The hunt is a time-honored tradition. Whoever brings back the most impressive game gets to make their dedication. You can almost hear the whispers as you prepare—"Cheka’s knight," they call you. It’s been assumed for years. But they don’t know what’s coming.

The ceremony itself is simple enough. Each knight pledges their loyalty by dedicating their game to the person they swear to serve. It’s a public declaration of fealty, one made before the entire royal court. But there’s more at stake than just loyalty. The knight who brings back the most impressive game is awarded a golden rose—a symbol of something far deeper than duty.

Love.

Hours later, when you emerge from the hunt with the largest bear the kingdom has seen in years, all eyes are on you. The whispers grow louder, anticipation thick in the air. Everyone knows you’ve won the rose, and with it, the right to swear your loyalty. They’re expecting you to kneel before Cheka, the adorable five-year-old prince bouncing with excitement. Even Leona’s lounging nearby, watching the whole affair with that bored, half-lidded gaze of his, looking as if he might fall asleep at any moment.

But you? You have different plans.

With the golden rose in hand and your bear presented, you walk right past Cheka—past the gasps of the court, the murmurs of confusion, the stunned faces of your parents. And you kneel before Leona.

Leona’s eyes snap open, and for the first time in ages, he looks genuinely surprised. His eyebrows raise, just the barest fraction. "What are you doing?" he asks, his voice low enough for only you to hear.

You grin, because of course he’s trying to play it off like this doesn’t matter. "Swearing my fealty, obviously," you say, loud enough for the court to hear. "I dedicate this hunt and the rose to Prince Leona Kingscholar."

The silence that follows is deafening. You can practically feel the jaws dropping across the Savannah. Even little Cheka’s mouth forms a perfect little "o" of shock.

For the first time all day, Leona stirs, the mask of indifference slipping just enough for you to catch the flicker of something beneath it—surprise, maybe, or something deeper. His eyes meet yours, sharper and more intense than ever, and for a moment, the world falls away.

Leona’s eyes narrow, a mixture of suspicion and amusement flickering across his face. "I thought you’d be on your knees for someone else," he drawls, his lips quirking up at the corners.

You shrug. "Everyone else may have decided my fate, but I make my own choices."

“For you, Leona,” you repeat, your voice steady and loud despite the pounding in your chest. “I dedicate my loyalty to you, and this rose... to the one who has always held my heart.”

He doesn’t say anything, just watches you, his expression unreadable. It’s Leona, after all. He doesn’t do grand gestures, never needed to. But you notice the way his fingers twitch, like he’s resisting the urge to reach out and take the rose immediately. When he finally speaks again, his voice is low, a bit rough around the edges, but there’s an unmistakable thread of satisfaction laced through it.

“You really know how to cause a scene, huh?”

There’s a grin tugging at the corner of his lips, and his gaze flicks down to the rose in your hand before meeting your eyes again. “A bear and a rose... For me?”

The teasing tone doesn’t hide the way his chest seems to expand just a little bit, like someone had finally acknowledged him for the first time in years. He reaches out and takes the rose from your hand, his fingers brushing yours in the briefest of touches. It feels electric, like every unspoken word between you is packed into that fleeting moment.

He twirls the rose once between his fingers, his smirk growing. “Guess I should thank you,” he says casually, though there’s a weight to his words, something you’ve rarely heard from him—appreciation. Real and tangible.

Leona stands up slowly, stretching as though this whole event is just another inconvenience, though the pride in his stance is unmistakable. He knows exactly what this means, both for you and for him. No one can dismiss him as just the second prince anymore, not after this. Not when someone like you, bound by honor and tradition, chose him. Over everyone else. Over Cheka. Over the kingdom’s expectations

He leans down, close enough that his breath is warm against your ear as he speaks softly, for you alone to hear. “I never thought you’d choose me. But I can’t say I’m not... pleased.”

Your heart does a strange, fluttering thing in your chest at his words, and you dare to meet his gaze, only to find a look there that you’ve never seen before. Something softer. Something real.

Before you can react, he tugs you in close, his arm settling around your waist in a way that feels both possessive and protective. The world narrows to just the two of you, the warmth of his body radiating through your armor. The smug grin he wears is softened by something deeper in his eyes—something that makes your heart skip a beat.

His hand lingers at your side, thumb brushing lightly against your hip, like he's claiming you just as much as you're dedicating yourself to him.

Before you can respond, he turns, still holding you close, and faces the crowd. The murmurs have turned to outright whispers of shock and disbelief, but Leona seems entirely unbothered by the spectacle you've made. In fact, he revels in it.

“This knight is mine,” he declares, his voice steady, ringing with finality. There’s no hesitation, no doubt—just that lazy confidence and a quiet triumph that says he’s more than pleased with your choice.

And in that moment, you know that, despite everything—his pride, his laziness, his gruff exterior—Leona Kingscholar is proud of you. Proud that you chose him, that you saw him, really saw him, when so many others didn’t. And as his arm tightens around you just a little, you can feel it too: the quiet, unspoken promise of what comes next.

A lifetime bound to the second prince—exactly the way you both want it.

Masterlist

he's so special to me :(((

[violettwrites]

in the arms of the broken — daryl dixon

a/n: to the dear nonnie that requested this 🫶🏻 thank u sm i absolutely adored writing this (i rly should be sleeping but i can’t so here i am) i hope you enjoy !!

if you enjoyed reading this, please support me by giving me a like, reblog, and/or comment ! don’t forget to follow me either if you want to read more of my stuff !

request: anon said — “i also like the dialogue prompt ‘i don’t know… i’ve never seen her like this’ that tugs at the heart strings”

summary: reader cannot cope with the way the world has become, during a particularly hard night for themselves, daryl dixon is the one to comfort them.

warnings: angst/sadness ,,, thats it rly

word count: 1,241

recourses: divider by @adornedwithlight

➵ tp!daryl masterlist

➵ regular masterlist

here is my ask box !

the night was quiet except for the crackle of the fire, but it felt wrong—like the world had gone still, holding its breath. you sat by the flames, knees drawn to your chest, staring blankly into the flickering light. the heat touched your skin, but it didn’t reach you, didn’t chase away the cold that had settled deep inside.

daryl watched you from a distance, leaning against a tree with his arms crossed over his chest. he’d been keeping an eye on you for days, noticing the way you’d been pulling away from everyone, isolating yourself. you’d always been strong, always held it together for the sake of the group, but something was different now. something had changed, and it scared him. you were like a shadow of yourself, your spirit drained, your eyes distant.

rick approached him, eyes flicking over to you before meeting daryl’s. “how’s she holdin’ up?”

daryl didn’t answer right away, his jaw tightening as he watched the way you sat so still, your body hunched like the weight of everything had finally become too much to carry. he shook his head, his voice quiet and rough. “i don’t know… i’ve never seen her like this.”

rick nodded, his expression grim. “she’s been through a lot. more than most of us. maybe she just needs some time.”

rick can recall the first time they found you, smack bang in the middle of atlanta, all alone. you were covered in blood and guts, and if he hadn’t actually heard how you begged for help when he saw you, your voice barely audible, he honestly would have thought you were just another walker.

“time ain’t gonna fix what’s broken,” daryl muttered under his breath, the frustration simmering beneath his skin. time wasn’t enough when you were drowning, when you couldn’t see a way out of the darkness. and he hated that he didn’t know how to pull you out.

rick gave him a look, one that said everything he didn’t need to say out loud. “you’re the one she’ll listen to, daryl. talk to her.”

daryl stood there a moment longer, watching the way you curled into yourself, like you were trying to disappear. every instinct in him told him to go to you, but he hesitated, unsure if his words would even matter. still, he couldn’t just leave you like this.

he finally pushed off the tree and walked over, his boots crunching softly against the dirt. he lowered himself to the ground beside you, sitting close enough that you could feel his presence, but not so close that he’d crowd you.

for a while, neither of you said anything. the fire crackled between you, the only sound breaking the silence of the night. daryl wasn’t sure how to start, wasn’t good with words even on the best of days. but he knew you, and he knew the way you got when things started to spiral out of control in your head.

“you don’t gotta shut us out, y’know,” he finally said, his voice gruff but soft. “we’re all here for ya.”

you didn’t respond at first, your eyes still fixed on the flames like they held some kind of answer you were searching for. after a long moment, you sighed, your voice barely a whisper. “i’m tired, daryl.”

those words hit him like a punch to the gut. he’d seen people break before, seen the way this world could wear someone down until there was nothing left. but hearing you say it, seeing you like this—it scared him more than he wanted to admit.

“i know,” he said quietly. “we all are. but we’re still fightin’. you’re still fightin’.”

you shook your head, your voice trembling as you spoke. “i don’t know if i can anymore. every day feels like it’s getting harder. like… like i’m losing pieces of myself.”

daryl’s chest tightened. he’d always admired your strength, the way you kept going no matter how hard things got. but now, hearing you say you were falling apart—it made him realize just how much he hadn’t noticed.

“you ain’t losin’ yourself,” he said, his voice firm but gentle. “you’re still here. we’re still here.”

you swallowed hard, tears brimming in your eyes. “i feel like i’m drowning. like no matter what i do, it’s never enough. i can’t save everyone, daryl.”

that was it, wasn’t it? the burden you carried, the weight of trying to protect everyone, to hold the group together when everything was falling apart. it was breaking you.

daryl shifted closer, his hand reaching out to rest on your arm, hesitant at first, but firm once it was there. “you don’t gotta save everyone. that ain’t on you.”

your voice cracked as you spoke, the tears spilling over now. “but if i don’t… who will?”

daryl’s heart clenched at the raw pain in your voice. he wished he had the right words, wished he could take that weight off your shoulders. but he knew he couldn’t fix everything. what he could do, though, was remind you that you weren’t alone.

“you don’t have to,” he said, his thumb gently brushing your arm in a way that was more comforting than he realized. “we’re all in this together. you ain’t gotta carry the world by yourself.”

you turned to look at him, and the vulnerability in your eyes nearly broke him. he wasn’t used to seeing you like this, so lost and fragile. he hated it. he hated that you felt like you had to carry the world alone, that you felt like you were drowning.

“i don’t know how to stop feeling like this,” you whispered, your voice shaking. “everything feels so heavy.”

daryl swallowed hard, his own heart aching at how much pain you were in. he didn’t know how to take that pain away, but he could be there for you. he could be the one thing you could hold on to when everything else felt like it was slipping away.

“you ain’t alone,” he said, his voice low but steady. “you got me. no matter what, you got me.”

you looked at him then, really looked at him, and for the first time in days, you felt like you could breathe just a little easier. his words were simple, but they grounded you. daryl had always been your anchor, and in this moment, you needed him more than ever.

without thinking, you leaned into him, your forehead resting against his shoulder as the tears came harder, your body shaking with the force of them. daryl didn’t hesitate. he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer, his hand rubbing slow circles on your back.

“let it out,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “it’s okay. i got ya.”

and for the first time in a long time, you let yourself fall apart. you let the tears come, let the pain you’d been holding in for so long spill out. daryl didn’t say anything more, didn’t need to. he just held you, his presence steady and unwavering, letting you know without words that you didn’t have to carry this burden alone.

the fire crackled softly beside you, but the world felt a little less cold with daryl holding you. you weren’t okay. you weren’t sure when—or if—you’d ever be okay again. but for now, in his arms, you felt like you didn’t have to be.

and maybe that was enough.

[bohemianblasphemy]

Let Me Show You

Billy Butcher x fem! reader

Requested by the ever so lovely @billybutcherrtrash ✨✨✨

buzz… buzz… buzz…

incessant vibrations from your phone interrupted the silence in your home as it rang for what seemed to be the one hundredth time. Your eyes averted to the screen and your heart dropped as the name of your ex appeared on the caller ID.

Trying to ignore the call, you pressed decline- only to see the bastard calling back almost instantaneously. This particular person cast a shadow on you, a reminder of the pure heart break that you experienced - despite having moved on their hold on you seemed to never falter.

From across the way, Butcher sat and observed you decline call after call, your reactions everytime it rang- peaking his curiosity as he sipped on his coffee, trudging toward you.

“what’s all this then?” he took your phone off the table, looking at the caller ID. Putting your head in your hands, you rubbing your face in frustration.

“It’s my ex.” He raised an eyebrow, looking at the call still ringing.

“what does he want?” he frowned a bit, knowing some parts of you past relationship with this guy, and he didn’t like him and the way he had treated you- not one bit.

“I don’t know, Billy…” you murmured, anxiety sitting in your chest.

“Fuckin’ wanker…” he grumbled, not liking the look on your face as he looked toward you.

Butcher had a smirk on his face, and your heart dropped when you knew what he was about to do.

Without missing a beat, Butcher answers the call with that cocky grin adorning him.

“Well well, look who it is!” Billy’s tone dripped in sarcasm.

“What? who is this?” the confused and angered voice of your ex on the other end of the call.

“don’t matter, why are ya calling?” Butcher questioned, sending a wink in your direction.

“no you didn’t answer my question, who the FUCK are you?” Your anxiety rose, the panic almost settling inside your stomach.

A deep chuckle erupted from Butchers chest, before he spoke.

“Well… i’m the guy who about to fuck this lovely woman- properly. not that you’d know anythin’ about that since you ain’t treated her right, truely a great fuckin’ loss on your end.”

You gasped as his words caught you off guard, your cheeks flushing at the audacity of how he spoke to him- but god is sounded good.

“What the fu-“ The shocked voice on the other end of the phone was cut off by butcher hanging up the phone, chucking it back on the table.

Butcher chuckled as he looked at your expression, asking you to come to him with his index finger and watched as you stood up and took a few steps to stand in front of him.

“Billy you didn’t have to-“ he cut you off with a searing kiss, his fingers pulled you closer to him by the waist, your pelvis’s pressed against each other. He pulled away, looking down at you.

“You deserve someone who’ll treat you right, love. And I’m here to show you just how good it can be.” You swallowed hard, the remnants of your past fading away in the wake of his promise.

he ran a finger down your cheek, down to your bottom lip and tugging it down gently.

“Now, let’s not waste any more time, shall we?” he said, his voice low and inviting- putting his hand on the small of you back as he lead you through to the bedroom, ready to show you what you deserved…

[dollishbabess]

A new kind of love??

A/n this fic is based off the song “a new of kind of love” by frou frou <3 I hope you enjoy!

Suggested nsfw? (Not really, if your gonna smth like this credit please or Aleast reblog this

Divider @cafekitsune - dollish

The rain pelted the windowpanes, echoing in the dimly lit apartment. It was the kind of evening that made Jason Todd’s mind wander into the shadows of his past, the memories of blood, betrayal, and endless battles. But tonight was different, for you were here, sitting across from him, tracing the rim of your coffee mug, completely unaware of the effect you had on him.

He leaned against the window sill, gaze drifting toward you as you spoke about something that happened earlier in your day. He was only half-listening, not out of disinterest, but because he was too focused on memorizing the way your lips moved, the softness in your eyes, the faint smile you wore when you thought no one was paying attention.

“… and then he spilled his entire coffee on himself, seriously I think he might’ve had too much to drink? After all it was a Sunday morning!” you finished, laughing lightly.

Jason smirked, shaking his head. “Sounds like he had a rough day.” (���‍❄️)

You nodded, then shifted your gaze to him, eyes softening. “You seem distracted. Are you okay?” Your feeling a bit hurt ‘what if he he found you cringe?’ But you shook it off

Jason hesitated. He was never good with words, not when they mattered. “Yeah, just… thinking.”

“About?” you pressed, leaning forward, curiosity dancing in your eyes.

He rubbed the back of his neck, stalling. How could he explain it to you? How could he tell you that every time he was with you, he felt something he thought was long dead, something he had buried beneath layers of pain and anger? “You make me feel…” He trailed off, searching for the right words, then gave a small, almost defeated laugh. “You make me feel things I didn’t think I could anymore.”

Your brows knitted together, concern etching into your features. “Is that… bad?”

“No,” he said quickly, and then softer, more vulnerable, “No, it’s not bad. It’s just… new.”

He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, “You know, when you’ve been through as much as I have, you start to think that you’ve seen it all, that you’ve felt it all. But then you show up, and it’s like I’m experiencing everything for the first time.” He swallowed hard, his eyes never leaving yours. “It’s a new kind of love.”

You didn’t say anything, just watched him, your heart pounding in your chest. The silence stretched on, not awkward, but heavy with the weight of unspoken words, of shared feelings that neither of you were quite ready to acknowledge until now, it felt like a situation ship at first but.. he really loved you.

When you finally spoke, your voice was barely above a whisper. “You’ve seen the worst of the world, Jason. You’ve faced things most people can’t even imagine. But maybe…” You took a step closer, your hand reaching out to rest gently on his arm. “Maybe that’s why you deserve something new. Something good, I got a feeling you are-“ you cut off worried of how he looked at you.

He stared at you, a million emotions flashing in his eyes—hope, fear, longing, disbelief. “You really think I deserve that?” he asked, his voice cracking just slightly.

You nodded, not a hint of doubt in your expression. “I do. And if you’re willing to take the chance, I want to be the one to give it to you.”

Jason let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, his heart thudding painfully against his ribs. And for the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to hope, to believe that maybe, just maybe, he was capable of this—of loving and being loved in return.

He closed the distance between you, pulling you into his arms, his head resting against yours. “I’m scared,” he admitted, his voice muffled against your hair. “But for you… I’m willing to try.”

You smiled, wrapping your arms around him, holding him close. “That’s all I ask.”

And in that moment, with the rain washing away the remnants of the past, Jason Todd found himself falling into a love he had never known before—something raw, something real, something entirely new.

Later on patrol with dick “dude, are you falling in love? Or what you totally fumbled the confession.” said dick grinning at his younger brother or little wing he called him, the same grin Jason swore he thought of committing just not to see it, “shut up dickhead.”

(🐻‍❄️)

—love is the embodiment of you and Jason, you fill each other perfectly, he never felt like he’s been loved this hard ever by anyone which gives him suspicions that your a spy but your perfect in his eyes always and forever you always find each other in different universes together.

Made by @dollishbabess please do not put in any other platforms ty ever much!

Again divider credit @cafekitsune

I ACCEPT REQUESTS PLEASE REQUEST MY LOVES!

[otomehonyaku]

DIABOLIK LOVERS More, More Blood Vol. 12 Ruki ☽ Animate Tokuten CD ☽ Living A Normal School Life For Once!

Original title: たまにはまともに学園生活！ Voiced by Sakurai Takahiro English translation by @otomehonyaku Click here for the audio (kindly provided by @karleksmumskladdkaka!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

One very unhinged tokuten... I appreciate Ruki's persistence when it comes to defending us/Yui, but he's definitely taking it too far dkfjdkfd ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ Have fun listening and reading along!

Please do not reuse or post my translations elsewhere or translate my work into other languages without my permission.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[The scene starts at the academy. Ruki finds you after class.]

00:00 Hey. What are you doing?

[He startles you and you accidentally drop the papers you were holding.]

You turned around so frantically that you dropped your things.

[Ruki bends down to gather the papers you dropped.]

‘Off-campus learning guidebook’?  I see. These are the prints that’ll be bound into the actual guidebooks. I suppose I don’t even have to ask you why you’re carrying them.  You’re letting the teachers order you around again. Have you forgotten how to say ‘no’? Those kinds of people will never make you see the end of it if you don’t. Anyway, let’s bring these to the teacher’s office. Then your job will be over, right? Oh? What’s the matter?

[You tell him that you still have to bind the books.]

Why did you let it come that far? You’re going to do the bookbinding? If you have to make them for all the students, it’ll take an absurd amount of time. Those fucking tyrannical teachers, setting students to work like slaves for their own benefit… You’re my possession more than anything. I don’t like anyone else doing as they please with you. It seems that I’ll have to teach them a lesson.

[You get a little nervous and try to talk him out of it.]

Heh. It shouldn’t be anything beyond your comprehension. You’re so used to doing their dirty work that you’re still trying to cover for them, and I don’t like it. Hey. We’re going to finish this within the hour.

[You tilt your head to the side.]

I’m telling you that I’ll help you. This isn’t something you should be wasting your time on. If any other requests come in after this, I’ll be right behind you to crush their hopes before they even get to talk to you. This is what we’re going to do, so let’s get to work quickly. At this hour, there should be plenty of empty classrooms available. We’ll bind these guidebooks in the blink of an eye.

[The scene shifts to an empty classroom.]

02:30 Alright. Let’s take care of this as quickly as we can. Each book has 16 pages… Let’s fold the papers and staple them. That should be easy enough. When doing it for all students, though, it’s pretty hard work. Efficiency is key when binding books.  Let’s try it out on a small scale first. We don’t have time to redo everything if we mess it up. Start with the front cover and line up the prints in order.

[You get to work.]

Off-campus learning is a waste of time, though. It’s foolish to think there are things to learn outside of the classroom. Unless you’re actively trying to gain something, there’s no way you can learn anything. For example, let’s say we’re taking a field trip to a museum. Museums have many precious artefacts on display. However, whether it be ancient Greek sculptures, coffins of saints—to a fool, they’re all weight stones (1). Yeah. They have no value just standing there. You’re going through all that trouble to bring all the students there only to look at a room full of weight stones. Don’t you think that’s funny?

04:01 Or, wait—weight stones do have value.  You can press vegetables with them to make pickles, so they’re actually quite helpful. Going to an exhibition on weight stones might be a meaningful way to spend time after all.

[You doubt that.]

What’s with that expression?  The flavour of the end product varies depending on the weight of the stone. That’s not something to make light of. If we actually were to go on an exhibition on weight stones for our off-campus learning, I’d appreciate it.

[You wonder if an exhibition like that even exists.]

You have a good point. We might as well go to a hardware store. That’s just a shopping trip. If we’re going shopping, I’d rather it be just you and me. I refuse to go around in such large groups.

[You’ve both made some progress with the bookbinding at this point.]

Where are we going, anyway? There should be information about the destination somewhere on one of these pages… Is this it? So we’re going to a nearby mountain. To think the school wll go to such lengths to get the students off campus… Hiking, learning about the beauty of nature… You’ve got to be kidding me. Besides, the true beauty of nature can’t be found at the foot of a mountain like this. Lend me your pen. I’ll change the route.

[You stare at Ruki for a moment.]

Didn’t you hear me? Give me your pen. I’ll shatter the hopes of whoever thinks they can challenge a mountain when they’re only in the mood for a stroll.

[Ruki starts drawing on the map.]

Let’s make them climb the steep slope on the other side of the mountain. The landscape varies a lot around this area. People will start falling behind because they lose motivation. This should do the trick. Surely, the harshness of mountain climbing will sink deeply into their minds. Don’t you think it’s a good route?

[You tell him that sounds dangerous.]

06:01 Of course it’s dangerous. It’s mountain climbing. There’s no way you can reach a summit without putting your life on the line.

[You’re at a loss for words.]

Does that surprise you? Did you think it would suffice to go on a trip to a mountain without admiring the scenery from the summit? If this off-campus learning is intended to teach students about the beauty of nature, there’s no better way to do it than to climb a mountain to its very top. Which means you also need the appropriate gear.

[Ruki leafs through the booklet until he finds the list of supplies that’s already there.]

A lunch box, a water bottle, a towel… You can’t be serious. Don’t ever think you can survive on a mountain with these things.

[Ruki grabs his pen and gets to work again.]

I crossed out all the things you don’t need. I’ll make a list of the things you do need for mountain climbing. Even in case of a disaster, this should heighten your chances of survival.

[You still don’t really know what to say.]

What are you acting so surprised for? There’s always a chance of a disaster happening. Listen. If you value your life, don’t take mountain climbing lightly. Bear in mind that we’re talking about off-campus learning. Ah, right. I’ll also write down some important points to take into account in case of an emergency.

[Ruki looks at the points that were already listed in the booklet.]

Hm? ‘Watch out for the snakes’? What’s with this warning paragraph? ‘Snakes are aggressive creatures, so they attack easily’? This is nonsense. Listen up. You should get this through your head as well. First of all, there are many different kinds of snakes, of course. I’m not saying it’s true one hundred percent of the time, but snakes tend to be timid, docile creatures. They will not attack humans unprovoked. If you see one between the grass, it’s best to quietly avoid it. Of course, venomous and aggressive snakes do exist. It goes without saying that you should never let your guard down. Got it?

[You tell him you understand.]

08:11 That’s the answer I was looking for. Good, even for you. Still, this off-campus learning is intended to deepen the students’ knowledge, but this booklet doesn’t give me much hope… Planting misinformation is evil in itself, don’t you think? Well, alright. I won’t be holding back anymore. I’ll thoroughly rewrite this page as well. A bit on the ecology of snakes and the varieties that may live on the mountain… Ah, I’ll also include some fun facts about snakes. You’ve heard much about the snake in the Garden of Eden, right? Wait, but if I were to write about that, I’d have to touch upon the story of Adam and Eve and the forbidden apple as well… And while we’re on the subject of apples, anyway, I might as well add some simple and delicious recipes. It’s witty and it makes for worthwhile reading, right? I’ll stick to recipes for two servings.

[You think Ruki is taking it too far. You try to stop him.]

Hey, don’t grab my arm! You’ll mess up my writing.

[You tell him you’ll never finish it in time.]

Heh. That’s all? That’s no problem. I planned on finishing binding the booklets well within the hour, with time to spare. But look at how awful the content is! That certainly changes things. I will revise this entire off-campus learning guidebook and confront the teacher with it. Like, “This is what true learning is!”

[You yell at him to stop.]

Don’t yell! Setting up plans like these is my forte. Come to think of it, the destination wasn’t appropriate to begin with. There’s nothing interesting about a mountain a few train stops away. Maybe at least one train transfer and a few hours away by car… Somewhere off the beaten path. Although I’d rather pick a woodland area for fostering one’s survival instincts… That means it should definitely take place somewhere around here… Yes. I’ll also add a recipe using the local specialties of this area. 

[Ruki puts down his pen.]

10:36 Alright! Perfect. I think I did pretty well. I chose a place of which the chances of survival are at least ten percent. If you approach it like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do, you can probably make it out alive if you’re lucky. There are no drawbacks to such experiences. Or rather, someone must teach today’s carefree youth what it’s like to walk the line between life and death. To spend your days in the mud. Well, then! Let’s go to the teachers’ office. We’re going to present this. This is revenge for the work they’ve made you do on these prints.

[Ruki starts gathering the booklets.]

Let’s teach those foolish humans the true meaning of off-campus learning!

[You’ve had enough of his antics. You grab onto him and try to keep him from leaving.]

Hey! Don’t hold me back. Come on, don’t pull at me like that! If you don’t watch out, I’ll drop all the—Ah!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

漬物（つけもの）の石（いし）: A weight stone used to press the moisture out of pickles (tsukemono) in Japan. I was going to go with a paperweight analogy instead, as this made a bit more sense for non-Japanese audiences while still making sense for Ruki’s character, but it was a bit difficult to line that up with his explanation...

[reallychaoticwoo]

⛓️ Aahh, I really hope this lives up to your expectations! I really worked hard on it! Please keep in mind that im still working on my smut writing skills, but we will get there, lol. Also, im sorry this took so long. Life has been hectic. This is not proofread, so i apologize for that, but hopefully, you can enjoy it anyway (:⛓️

✨️Mistakes Were Made✨️

❤️Pairing: Changbin x f reader

⚠️Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY! Very little plot, smut, unintentionally rough Changbin, body injury during sex (hip gets dislocated), crying, screaming, hip relocation (not in major detail but still), please lmk if I missed anything

‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent Changbin in any way‼️

🖤Little reminder that although requests are on pause im still accepting short drabbles, imagines, reactions, smau, and text requests🖤

It wasn't unlike the two of you to start getting hot and heavy when his dorm mates were home. There was rarely a time when all of them were out at once. So once again, you two were going at it in his room, trying to remain somewhat quiet. Although Changbin was generally a soft and doting boyfriend, he was an absolute beast in the bedroom. His strong arms manhandling you to his hearts content. He always knew it was a possibility that his friends could walk in on the two of you at any given time, but when he was in the moment, it never seemed to matter to him.

Your breasts against the bed, back arched to perfection and his hands on your hips, was the only thing on his mind right now. He was lost in the way your body reacted to him relentlessly pounding into your sopping cunt with sharp deep thrusts. You were a moaning, whining, grunting, feral mess that he could get enough of. Leaning forward to kiss in between your shoulder blades as a silent praise for how well you were taking him tonight. "F-fuck binnie - fuck harder please" your voice muffled into the sheets but he heard you loud an clear. His large hands gripping your hips tightly, pulling you back into him harshly with each one of his thrusts. You were screaming into the mattress at the feeling of his tip repeatedly hitting your cervix. Just as your high started to coil inside of you, your release becoming emanate, something popped. Your body collapsed into the sheets, tears streaming down your face in agony. Changbin who was still relentlessly thrusting into your almost paralyzed body, had no idea how hurt you really were in this moment. Turning your head to the side to try and catch your breathe you screamed for him to stop. He stopped immediately and without hesitation, pulling out of you with wide eyes and horror written all over his face.

"Baby.. what's wrong..? Oh my god, did i- did I hurt you??" He was on the verge of tears his heart collapsing inside of him.

"I.. fuck.. I cant..." You couldn't even finished your sentence. Your sobs too uncontrollable from the mortifying pain that had you on the brink of consciousness. "My.. m..my hip.."

That's when it registered. He'd felt a pop when you collapsed. He just assumed it was a normal pop. Your hips did that sometimes when the two of you were getting intimate. But now that he's thinking about it, it really only even happens if you're on top. Oh god.. Your hip. It looked as it it was pushed forward, no longer level with your spine like your other hip. Your back dimples weren't as prominent as they had been just a couple of minutes ago. What did he do??

"Shit, fuck, baby I'm so sorry!! What do I do?? How? fuck!" He was panicking, tears rolling down his face. How could he have hurt the love of his life, the very woman he'd been planning to propose to soon, the woman he was going to marry. How could he have hurt her like this? He did the only thing he could think of in that moment. He called for his Hyungs.

Running out of the room, pulling up his boxers as he ran into the living room, he scanned the room so glad to see both Chan and Lee Know home and sitting on the couch. They both turned to look at Changbin with puzzled faces that instantly turned to worry once they noticed his tears.

"Bin, what's wrong?? What happened are you okay?" Chan asked as he walked over to the man scanning his face for any type of clue as to what the hell happened.

"I hurt y/n..." Binnie replied with sorrow filled eyes and slack shoulders.

"What the fuck do you mean you hurt y/n Changbin?" Lee Know was walking to the younger man now. His face filled with disappointment and a tinge of anger.

"I- i... I didn't mean to just please help me!" He begged already turning to run back to you.

You were in the same position he left you in.

Unable to move your legs to lay flat, your backside still on full display, you sobbed and screamed into the bed praying for Changbin to hurry back so you could tell him how to fix this. Your prayers were answered as soon as he came back into the room. Although, you weren't praying for his two older members to follow him into the room and see your naked body fully presented to them.

"I'm sorry babygirl I didn't know what else to do.. can you.. can you please tell us what happened??" Changbin asked, tears still streaming down his flushed cheeks, his heart racing and his chest tightening.

"My hip.. you.. my hip is dislocated..I can't move.." Your voice was broken and raspy. Trying not to panic him worse, you tried to sound as normal as possible but the pain you were in was unbearable.

"Shit Bin, how the fuck did you manage that? Okay, y/n, I'm gonna have to pop it back into place.. I know this isn't ideal, and you are probably wishing we weren't in here right now, but I promise you I can have you mobile again soon if you can let me. Is that okay?" Chan was more than capable and you knew that. His reassuring tone helping ease your utter embarrassment at the situation.

Closing your eyes tightly, trying to hold back tears, you nodded. "O.. okay"

"Okay. Bin, I'm going to need you to keep her hips as still as possible okay? We don't want her worsening it or popping it out the other way when I go to push it into place. Think you can handle that?" Chan asked. His voice was stern and comforting all at once.

Lee Know who was still somewhat in the doorway was glaring daggers at Chabgbin. How could he be so careless as to dislocate your hip without noticing in the moment. Who even does that?

"Lee Know, you judging Bin isn't going to help anything. Go back out to the kitchen and get y/n some water and throw a blanket in the dryer so she can have something warm after this. Bin, go ahead and start holding her in place. " Chan was the leader for a reason. He knew exactly what he was doing. Leaning down to look at you in the eyes, he started, "I need you to control your breathing, okay? I'm not going to lie to you. This is going to hurt.. but I'm gonna fix it, okay? Just keep breathing." Moving back to your hip, he felt around the area to find where he needed to place his hands to relocate it correctly. With firm pressure on both the front and back of your hip, he counted to three and quickly popped it back into place. You let out a gutteral wail, your vision darkening at the intense and sudden pain followed by aching relief. You collapsed onto the bed, no longer conscious.

Chan looked at Changbin with concern, "She will be okay, but you need to be okay enough to take care of her when she wakes up. Go grab a drink and whatever else you think she will need or want for when she comes back to."

The younger of the two nodded before dressing himself fully as the older man left the room. He covered you up with his comforter and left in a hurry to gather everything he could possibly think of that brings you comfort and joy. Even going so far as to order a few extras, and calling in a favor from a friend.

The very moment you woke up, you were being showered in kisses. Giggling softly, you pushed your boyfriend back just enough to see his face. "I'm okay baby, I'm sorry if I scared you." All you received back was a dismissive hand wave. With that, he was quick to grab your favorite meal from the nightstand, handing it to you as you propped yourself up against the pillows weakly. "You have nothing to apologize for, baby. I'm so sorry I didn't know how badly I hurt you sooner and I'm so so fucking sorry I hurt you in the first place. I didn't mean to and I promise you I will never hurt you again." Unsure why you giggled at his statement, he shot you a confused look. "Binnie, I know you didn't mean to and I'm sure it won't be the last time this happens. I knew getting with the kpop version of the Hulk could potentially set me up to be wrecked but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you, and I know you'd never hurt me on purpose. I mean, at least now you can say you literally blew out my back." You shrugged laughing at your own joke a little too hard. He kissed the tip of your head before saying, "oh, I did have something I got for you as a sorry. Well a couple things but I think you'll like this one a lot. I'll be right back!" He left the room for only a couple minutes coming back in with a rather big box. A cute lilac purple bow on top, and purple pawprint patterned sides. Eyes wide, you looked at him excitedly. Opening the box you saw a cute little white and gray fluff ball staring back at you. 'Mew' Your whole heart melted as you took your new little family member out and laid it on your chest nuzzling into it. "Binniiieee, I love her. Thank you." Your eyes glazed over holding in your happy tears so you didn't scare your sweet boyfriend again. You pulled him to you so you could shower his face with kisses. Each one a small reassurance you loved him and were thankful for him. He wrapped his arms around you tightly cuddling you and your new fur baby, placing gentle and loving kisses on your head and shoulders. "I love you baby. Try and get some more rest. I need my princess feeling better soon." You smiled, burying yourself closer into his side, listening to his heartbeat while your new tiny baby purred on your chest. It wasn't much longer until you fell fast asleep, a smile still resting on your face.

[urdreamydoodles]

Hello could we get an all headcanon list of how the x-men would cheer up their S/O failing during training and the S/O feels bad?

X-Men x Reader (Part.1)

How they handle your frustration of failing during training (Part.1)

You struggles with your powers during training, feeling frustrated and defeated. Each X-Man—uses their unique approach to provide comfort, guidance, and encouragement, helping you regain confidence and control.

Characters: Logan Howlett, Remy LeBeau, Kurt Wagner, Erik Lehnsherr, Scott Summers, Jean Grey, Wade Wilson, Rogue, Wanda Maximoff & Pietro Maximoff

This headcanons gives me a warm feeling, and I hope it will be the same for you guys ♡ Thank you for this prompt. Hope you like it — Love, Marie, your friendly marvel fangirl

Logan Howlett (Wolverine)

- You’ve been pushing yourself during training for days, trying to keep up with Logan’s intense regimen. But no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to get that one move right. Today is no different. You misstep during a combat drill and hit the mat hard, frustration bubbling up as you fail again. Before you can even rise to your feet, Logan is already there, offering a hand to help you up, though his brows are furrowed in concern rather than disappointment.

- "Yer pushin’ too hard, darlin’," he says gruffly, his voice low but soft. He kneels beside you, not quite touching, but close enough for you to feel the warmth of his presence. His hand brushes against your shoulder as he helps you sit up. "Ain’t no need to be perfect. Everyone screws up." The way he looks at you is steady, unshakeable, as if to remind you that failure doesn’t make you any less strong in his eyes. He’s seen enough failure in his lifetime to know that it doesn’t define you.

- You vent your frustration, feeling defeated, tears brimming at the corners of your eyes. Logan listens patiently, the rare moments of vulnerability that you share with him something he takes seriously. He waits for you to finish before he sighs, a sound that’s not quite exasperated but full of understanding. "Ya can’t be hard on yourself like that, sweetheart. Nobody gets it right all the time, not even me." He gestures toward his own scars, the ones that haven’t fully healed despite his regeneration. "I’ve been fightin’ for longer than you’ve been alive, and I still screw up. That’s how ya learn."

- His arm wraps around your shoulder, pulling you in close against him. Logan isn’t big on words of comfort, but actions speak louder with him. He holds you tightly, letting you lean into his strength. "We’ll keep workin’ on it, but don’t think for a second that failin’ makes ya weak. Yer stronger than ya know, and I’ll be right here helpin’ ya see that." His voice is gravelly, but there’s an undeniable warmth in it. Logan might be tough, but for you, he’s a steady anchor, never letting you feel like you’re truly failing.

Remy LeBeau (Gambit)

- The training room is silent except for the sound of your breathing and the faint swish of cards flying through the air. You’ve been training hard with Remy, but tonight you just can’t seem to keep up. You miss your targets one after another, frustration mounting in your chest. Finally, you throw down your weapon in defeat, sinking to your knees as a rush of embarrassment and anger overtakes you. Before you know it, Remy is there, crouching beside you with a playful smirk tugging at his lips.

- "Cherie, what’s all dis about?" His voice is low and teasing, but there’s no real mockery in it. He scoops up the fallen weapon and twirls it between his fingers like it’s nothing, making you realize how effortlessly talented he is. "Ain’t no reason to get all worked up." You look at him, half-expecting him to laugh at your failure, but Remy doesn’t do that. Instead, he nudges you lightly with his shoulder, that charming grin never fading. "We all got days like dis. Even ol’ Gambit ain’t perfect."

- You explain how much it bothers you that you’re not getting it right, and Remy listens with a surprising amount of patience, leaning in close. He takes your hand in his, twirling a card between his fingers as he talks. "Y’know, cher, de best t’ieves don’t get caught by bein’ perfect. Dey get caught by not knowin’ how to improvise." He winks at you, the red in his eyes gleaming mischievously. "You gotta learn t’ roll wit’ de punches. Missin’ a mark ain’t nothin’ but a chance to find a better way."

- He rises to his feet, extending a hand to you, his eyes twinkling with a playful confidence that somehow makes you feel better without even trying. "C’mon, let ol’ Remy show ya how to turn a mistake into a masterpiece." When you take his hand, he pulls you close, spinning you around in a mock dance before setting you back on your feet. "Next time, when you miss, just smile like it was part of de plan." His charm and confidence radiate through every word, and though he doesn’t take life too seriously, he has a way of making you see that failure isn’t the end of the world. With Remy, even messing up can be fun.

Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler)

- The training session is supposed to be routine, just another round of practicing your abilities under Kurt’s guidance. But today, everything feels off. You stumble over your moves, unable to get the timing right. The frustration builds until you lash out, teleporting too recklessly and crashing into the ground, embarrassed and angry with yourself. Before you can even process it, a familiar 'bamf' fills the air, and Kurt is by your side, his blue hand gently touching your shoulder.

- "It’s alright, mein Liebling," Kurt’s voice is soft, soothing in a way that immediately calms your fraying nerves. He crouches next to you, his glowing yellow eyes filled with concern but not an ounce of judgment. "Training is hard for everyone. Even I had my share of accidents." His tail swishes behind him, playful and light, as if trying to lift your spirits with its gentle motion. He leans in closer, offering a small, supportive smile. "You are far more capable than you think."

- You voice your frustrations, feeling like you’re failing at something you should have mastered by now. Kurt listens, not interrupting once. He’s always been a patient listener, especially when it comes to you. After a moment, he takes your hand in his, his thumb brushing over your knuckles softly. "We all fall sometimes, Liebling. But we get back up. You know why?" He tilts his head, his expression gentle yet confident. "Because we are stronger than we realize. And I know you, you are strong."

- With a quick teleportation, Kurt brings you both to your feet, holding your hands in his as he stands behind you, guiding your next move. "Let’s try again, ja? Together this time." His presence is warm, comforting, and unwavering. As you train again, his encouraging words follow every move, helping you correct each mistake without making you feel bad. By the end, you feel more confident, his belief in you helping to dispel your self-doubt. Kurt’s kindness and faith in you always have a way of making everything feel a little more possible.

Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto)

- Training with Erik is always intense. His expectations are high, and you’ve been working tirelessly to control your powers under his strict guidance. Today, though, nothing seems to be working. You fail again, and frustration hits hard as you watch Erik’s face, waiting for the inevitable disappointment. Instead, he stands silently, arms crossed, watching you carefully before he finally approaches, his sharp gaze softening just slightly.

- "You are capable of so much more than this," Erik says, his voice deep and unwavering. There’s no anger in his words, but the weight of his belief in you makes your heart twist. He walks closer, stopping just inches away, his hand lifting to rest against your cheek, his touch surprisingly gentle for a man known for his cold, calculating demeanor. "Failure is not a weakness. It is a stepping stone. You are learning, not failing." His confidence in you is absolute, even when you doubt yourself.

- You try to explain how hard it’s been, how the pressure is getting to you, but Erik doesn’t let you spiral. He interrupts gently, his voice firm but not unkind. "Do you think I was born with control?" He gestures around the training area, his magnetic power subtly manipulating the metal in the room. "I struggled. I failed. But I refused to let it defeat me. And so will you." There’s no room for doubt in Erik’s mind when it comes to you. His belief in your potential is unshakable, even when you’re at your lowest.

- Erik steps back, his posture regal, but there’s a flicker of softness in his eyes meant only for you. "We’ll begin again," he says, but this time, his hand lingers on your shoulder, a rare display of affection. "But you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Do not forget that." His words, combined with his touch, make you feel more grounded, more capable. Erik may be hard on you, but it’s because he knows what you’re capable of, and he refuses to let you give up on yourself.

Scott Summers (Cyclops)

- Scott is always a patient instructor. You’ve been training with him for weeks, but today, everything seems off. You’re fumbling with your powers, unable to hit any of the targets he set up, and frustration is boiling inside of you. Finally, you drop your head, feeling defeated, expecting Scott to lecture you on precision and discipline, as he often does. But instead, he approaches quietly, a gentle look on his face.

- "Hey," Scott says softly, his voice calm and steady. He places a hand on your arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "It’s okay to have bad days." His hand moves to your chin, tilting your head up so you meet his gaze. "You’re not failing. You’re learning." The way he says it, with so much belief in you, makes it hard to stay upset with yourself. Scott is always so calm, so sure, and it’s easy to forget that he’s been in your shoes before.

- You sigh, telling him how useless you feel today, but Scott just shakes his head with a small smile. "Do you think I’ve never messed up?" His tone is kind, and he chuckles softly. "I’ve failed more times than I can count. Controlling these powers—it takes time, patience, and trust in yourself. And I trust you." His words make something inside of you ease, the pressure lifting just a bit as he steps closer, brushing a hand across your back.

- "We’ll keep at it," he says, his confidence in you never wavering. "Together." He doesn’t push you to try again immediately, instead taking a moment to stand by your side, his quiet presence enough to make you feel less alone in your frustration. "I’m proud of you, you know? For sticking with it, even when it’s hard." His praise is gentle but sincere, and in that moment, you realize that Scott isn’t just your teacher—he’s your partner in this, always ready to lift you up when you fall. With him by your side, failure doesn’t feel so heavy anymore.

Jean Grey (Phoenix)

- Jean has always been understanding, especially when it comes to the challenges of training. Today, though, you can’t seem to get anything right. Your powers are erratic, slipping out of your control, and you’re overwhelmed by the weight of it all. You stumble and fall during an exercise, burying your face in your hands out of frustration. Before you can even process your emotions, Jean is kneeling beside you, her telepathic presence a gentle, soothing hum in the back of your mind.

- "Hey," Jean says softly, her voice filled with warmth and understanding. She doesn’t push you to get up right away. Instead, she reaches out, taking your hands in hers, giving you a moment to collect yourself. "It’s okay to struggle," she whispers, her words wrapping around you like a soft blanket. "I’ve been where you are." There’s no judgment in her tone, just an endless well of patience and empathy, something Jean has always had for you.

- You try to explain how overwhelmed you feel, but before you can say too much, Jean gently presses a hand to your forehead, sending a wave of calm through your mind. "Breathe," she whispers, helping you find your center. "You’re not alone in this. I know exactly how it feels when everything gets out of control." Her own experiences with her powers, with the Phoenix Force, make her the perfect person to understand what you’re going through. She knows how terrifying it can be to lose control, and she’s there to guide you through it.

- Jean helps you back to your feet, but she doesn’t rush you to continue the training. Instead, she wraps an arm around your shoulders, holding you close. "We’ll take this one step at a time," she assures you, her telepathic presence still brushing against your thoughts, offering you comfort and strength. "And I’ll be here, every step of the way." Her faith in you, her unwavering support, makes you feel like you can handle anything, even the hardest days. With Jean beside you, you know you’ll never face your challenges alone.

Wade Wilson (Deadpool)

- Training with Wade is always unpredictable. One minute, he’s cracking jokes and making everything feel like a wild circus, and the next, you’re actually trying to focus on controlling your powers. Today, though, you’re struggling, and nothing seems to be going right. You’re feeling frustrated and defeated, your powers misfiring left and right, and Wade’s relentless humor isn’t helping. "Why so serious, babe?" he says with a grin, tossing his katanas in the air like it’s no big deal. You sigh, not in the mood for his antics.

- Wade notices. He may be goofy and seemingly oblivious, but when it comes to you, he’s sharper than he lets on. His voice drops a notch, and before you can say anything, he’s suddenly right in front of you, flipping his mask halfway up so you can see his expression. "Okay, let’s hit pause on the jokes for a second. You’re beating yourself up, and I don’t like seeing that." His tone is sincere, and it throws you off because Wade rarely shows this side. He cups your face in his hands, thumbs brushing over your cheeks, and gives you a rare, genuine smile. "You’re not failing, babe. You’re a badass who’s just having an off day."

- You let out a long breath, admitting how hard it’s been to keep up with your training lately. Wade, in typical Deadpool fashion, takes your hand and pulls you into a ridiculous dance, twirling you around like you’re in the middle of a ballroom. "You know what we need? A dance break. Clears the mind, lifts the spirit, and gives you an excuse to hold onto this sexy body of mine." His playful charm is disarming, and though you try to stay serious, you can’t help but laugh. That’s what Wade does best—he makes you forget about your worries, even for a little while.

- After a few spins and twirls, Wade stops, his hands still holding yours, his eyes uncharacteristically focused. "We’ll keep working on it, together, okay? You’ve got this. And if you ever feel like quitting, I’ll just annoy the crap out of you until you’re too distracted to care." He winks, and though he’s back to his usual goofy self, the love and support behind his words are crystal clear. Wade might joke around a lot, but when it comes to cheering you up, he knows exactly what to do.

Rogue (Anna Marie)

- Training with Rogue can be tough. Not because she pushes you too hard, but because you can see how much she cares, and you hate letting her down. Today, nothing is going right, and your frustration builds with every failed attempt. You collapse onto the floor, defeated, feeling the weight of it all pressing down on your shoulders. Rogue is there in an instant, kneeling beside you, her gloved hand resting gently on your arm. "Hey, it’s alright, sugah," she says softly, her voice filled with warmth and understanding. "Ain’t nobody perfect."

- Rogue sits beside you, her touch careful as always, and you can feel her empathy radiating off her. She’s no stranger to struggling with powers, especially ones that feel out of control. "I know how hard it is," she says, her southern drawl as comforting as ever. "Trust me, I’ve been there. But you’re not alone in this." Her words are soft but filled with conviction, reminding you that she knows exactly how it feels to be overwhelmed by abilities you can’t always control.

- You voice your frustration, telling her how you feel like a failure, but Rogue just shakes her head, her green eyes kind and understanding. "Listen," she says gently, "failure don’t define you. It’s how you get back up that does." She pulls you into a gentle hug, careful with her touch as always, and you can feel the sincerity in her words. "You’ve come so far already, and I know you’ve got what it takes to keep goin’. Don’t be so hard on yourself." Rogue’s support is unwavering, and her belief in you starts to make you believe in yourself again.

- After a moment, Rogue pulls back and gives you a warm smile. "How ‘bout we try again, but this time, we take it slow?" she suggests, her tone gentle but encouraging. "We’ll get through this together. You don’t have to do it alone." With Rogue by your side, the pressure eases, and you feel a renewed sense of determination. She’s not just your partner—she’s your rock, always there to lift you up when you’re feeling down.

Wanda Maximoff (Scarlet Witch)

- Training with Wanda is a delicate balance between pushing your limits and finding peace with your powers. You’ve been working hard, but today, it feels like everything is falling apart. Your powers are out of control, and every mistake feels like a personal failure. You stand in the middle of the training room, your hands trembling, and you can’t seem to stop the frustration bubbling inside. Wanda watches from a distance, her face calm, but you know her well enough to see the concern in her eyes.

- Without a word, Wanda steps closer, her presence calming in a way that only she can be. She doesn’t rush to comfort you with empty words. Instead, she reaches out, her fingers brushing lightly against your arm, her magic weaving softly through the air around you. "Take a breath," she says quietly, her voice soothing. "It’s okay to feel frustrated, but don’t let it consume you." Her powers, always so controlled and graceful, seem to hum in sync with yours, and the chaotic energy swirling around you begins to settle.

- You tell her how you feel like you’re losing control, how the training has been harder than ever, but Wanda listens patiently. "I know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed by your powers," she says softly, her gaze distant for a moment, as if remembering her own struggles. "But you’re stronger than you think." She steps closer, her hand finding yours, and her touch is warm, grounding. "You have a gift, and with time, you’ll learn to master it. But for now, give yourself the space to grow. It doesn’t have to happen all at once."

- Wanda’s magic intertwines with yours, not in a forceful way, but as if she’s guiding you, showing you how to find balance. "Let’s try again," she says gently, her hand still holding yours. "But this time, don’t focus on getting it perfect. Just focus on feeling the flow of your power." With her calm guidance and unshakable support, you feel the tension in your chest ease. Training with Wanda isn’t just about control—it’s about learning to trust yourself, and with her by your side, you know you can face whatever challenges come your way.

Pietro Maximoff (Quicksilver)

- Training with Pietro is intense. He’s constantly moving at a pace that’s impossible to keep up with, and even though you’ve gotten used to his rapid speed, today feels like a total disaster. Your powers aren’t working as they should, and every time you try to focus, you feel like you’re falling further behind. You groan in frustration as Pietro zips by, his voice already coming from the other side of the training room. "Come on, babe, you’re doing fine!" he calls out, but the speed in his tone makes it sound like everything’s easy when it’s not.

- Seeing your frustration, Pietro finally stops in his tracks, appearing right in front of you in a blur. His cocky grin fades as he notices the seriousness in your eyes. "Hey, hey," he says, stepping closer and lowering his voice. "I get it. I move fast, but this… this doesn’t need to go that fast." He places his hands on your shoulders, his blue eyes softening. "You’re not failing. You’re just thinking too much, trying too hard. You need to relax, slow down—well, you know, as much as you can around me."

- He steps back and starts pacing, but at a slower, more human pace than his usual blur. "Listen, I may be fast, but I’ve had my fair share of screw-ups. Like, that time I tried to outrun a lightning storm and got zapped. Not my brightest moment." His self-deprecating humor pulls a reluctant smile from you. Pietro smirks, seeing that he’s lightened the mood. "The point is, everyone screws up. It doesn’t mean you’re any less amazing." His confidence is infectious, and you feel a spark of motivation return.

- Pietro takes your hand, this time moving at a pace you can manage, guiding you through the training slowly. "We’ll get there, one step at a time. You don’t need to rush. And when you’re ready to speed things up," he flashes a grin, "I’ll be right here to keep up." Training with Pietro can be overwhelming, but with his unwavering support and playful attitude, he always manages to lift you up and keep you moving forward—even if it’s at a slower pace than he’s used to.

[nino-rox]

ADDICTED | BYEON WOO SEOK X MALE READER | M.A

Content Warning : Sexual themes, Top Wooseok and Bottom Male Reader, Angst, Mature, Use of Drugs (Marijuana), Trigger Warning - emotional /mental abuse, college AU.

Disclaimer : This is a Fan-fiction story written for entertainment purposes only, no part of the story implies or affirms anything regarding real world events or individuals. Please be of the appropriate age ( i.e, Adult as per your country’s stipulations and regulations) before interacting with this post

I woke up feeling cold and lonely in our bed.

When I opened my eyes and saw the empty side of the bed where Woo Seok was supposed to be sleeping I remembered last night and how he just left.

I turned to the side and stared at the empty space where his face would usually rest. It felt so lonely, I almost wanted to cry. I reached over to his side of the bed and touched his pillow, hugging it to my chest and trying to catch any last lingering scent of him.

The scent of him comforted me as I sat in silence for a while, hugging his pillow close.

After a while I got out of bed, I felt so drained, both mentally and physically.

I had hoped last night was just a dream. That maybe he was still here somewhere.

I walked into the kitchen, hoping he'd be there with breakfast and his charming smile. I hoped he would greet me with his arms wide open and tell me he was sorry and that everything was going to be okay. But there was no one in the kitchen. Just an empty table and a lonely chair.

It made me sad. I thought we were finally getting better. That maybe things were looking up for us. We had been fighting a lot lately and things between us had been really rocky. Last night was the last straw for me. I had decided when he get’s back….if…. He gets back…. I need a break.

We hadn't gone on a proper date in months. It seemed like all he wanted to do was stay home, sit on the couch and drink. I tried talking to him about it but he kept avoiding it. I tried bringing up the topic, but every time we would end up in another fight.

We were fighting over such small things lately, things that never used to be a problem, over a towel on the bed, over lights, food, sex, everything.

I couldn’t take it anymore, it felt like we were falling apart and no matter what I did he wouldn't talk to me, he was shutting me out and I was sick of it.

"Why are you making a big deal out of this? Why don't you go out with your stupid friends!" He yelled.

"Because I want to spend time with you!"

“ I can’t with you right now. I need a fucking break. I am so sick and tired of this! Just go, please! I need some fucking air. I am sick of being in this house, with you, all day long. I need to clear my mind. Please just leave me alone." He said and walked away.

"Wait, Wooseok." I ran after him, grabbing him by the arm and turning him around to face me.

"I don't want to be in this house alone right now, if you walk out right now, I WILL hold it against you…I mean it."

He looked at me and for a second I saw a glimpse of the old him. My sweet and kind Woo. He was there. Behind those dark eyes, I saw the same man that I fell in love with. The man that brought me coffee in the morning, and made me laugh so hard, I could barely breathe. Always hung out with me in every class break. The man that always asked how my day was and would bring me a single flower just because. He was there, I knew it.

But as soon as the glimmer came, it disappeared and all that was left was anger and darkness.

"Let go of me."

"NO, Woo Seok, I will NOT let go. Please, talk to me, what's wrong, what is bothering you?"

"You. You are bothering me." He said and snatched his arm from my grasp, walking out and slamming the door behind him.

I was snapped back to reality, realizing that the last words we had exchanged were hateful ones.

I looked down at my hands, the hands that were holding him, and realized I was still clutching his pillow.

I sighed, dropping the pillow to the floor, getting into the bathroom for a shower.

I had to stop thinking about it. It was all in the past, and right now I had a day off from school and no plans...not any more … at least.

I needed to distract myself, I quickly showered, putting on my favorite outfit, the one that I had picked for the date that wasn't going to happen and headed out the door. If he didn’t wanna go to the beach … FINE, I can go.

The sun was setting as I got to the beach, there were a lot of people…and couples… enjoying the weather and the ocean view. It was a beautiful place. The waves crashed onto the shore and the sound was like music to my ears. It calmed me, and made me feel free and happy and since this day is such a bust, I might as well try and enjoy this by getting high.

I walked around a little as the sky grew slightly darker, finding a good spot, laying my towel on the sand, putting my bag and stuff next to me, before lighting up. I was taking in the scenery, the sky was growing darker and the beach was almost empty, most people were leaving, and as the smoke was leaving my lungs, I was already feeling lighter and happier excited about the high to come which would make me forget about all the drama - it was also kinda cold, pretty cold.

As I took another large drag from the joint, I felt the high starting, I was more “aware” of myself and my surroundings, I felt at ease, and it felt like i had let out a breath i dint know i was holding in. Suddenly the stress of the situation began to reduce as my body felt lighter, more fluid and ‘fun’.

I was lost in the sensations of the high, I put on some music, took off my t-shirt and laid down, shut my eyes for a moment, getting comfy in my plush soft blanket.

Suddenly I heard a chuckle, a chuckle full of snark.

"Well, that's certainly a sight, I guess your dates are more fun without me"

I opened my eyes, and was met with his.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I mumbled closing my eyes immediately, not wanting to accept that this was happening.

"Nice way to greet your boyfriend" he replied, and snatched the joint from my hand, taking a long drag.

"You can't just show up here like that, we're supposed to be taking a break, remember? You didn't want me, you made that very clear. I don't have to put up with this, fuck off. Go back to whatever hole you crawled out of"

"Aww Ouchie. That hurt." He said tauntingly, and then continued, "you look really good in those shorts, you know"

"Fuck off, Wooseok" I replied, sitting up and reaching for the joint, which he immediately raised above his head, out of reach from my height, as he chuckled.

His playful and casual mood was starting to throw me into a rage, why was he acting like nothing was wrong? After everything he said? Why was he now fucking with your high when you weren’t even dating anymore?

"You can't just leave and come back, whenever the fuck you feel like it."

"Watch me" He replied, taking another drag, and smiling.

"What's gotten into you? Are you drunk or something?"

"No" He laughed and handed the joint back to you - you didn’t accept it from him.

"Why are you acting like nothing's wrong, like you didn't walk out last night? Like you didn't tell me, and I quote "I am sick and tired of you"

"Oh come on, don't be a bitch!"

"Don't call me a bitch, Wooseok."

“You taking a hit or no?? It’s getting wasted over here. "

"Are you actually fucking with me right noe hand w???"

"Okay fine…Don't want it, you don't get it.." He said taking a massive drag and putting out the joint with his foot.

I stood up angrily and yelled, "Are you crazy?! That was a perfectly good joint, you just wasted it!!"

Suddenly Wooseok roughly grabbed my waist pulling me closer as he harshly held my face with one hand keeping my mouth open - he immediately pressed his lips onto mine, shotgunning his last massive drag into your mouth.

One was breathing out pushing the smoke, while the other was taking it all in.

His lips were on mine, his tongue was inside of me. It was intense. I hated that I loved it.

The kiss felt heavy and intoxicating, Wooseok slowly pushing his body’s weight onto you, both getting on our knees, lips still intact.

Wooseok slowly pulled away from me and looked at me, his gaze was hungry.

He was so beautiful, the sunset illuminating his face, and his eyes. I loved his eyes, and his smile, and the way he looked at me.

My eyes were fixed on his as I tried to catch my breath, my mind feeling shocked, angry and very much seduced at the same time.

“Tell me that wasn’t a better hit than the joint,” He whispered into my ear, his breath warm and seductive as he smirked, his gaze locked with mine, not breaking eye contact for a second. I had missed his voice, and the way his lips brushed against my skin as he spoke. I missed the way he was looking at me, and how his touch set my entire body on fire. I missed him.

I tried to say something but the words wouldn't come out.

Loosening his grip on my face he slowly moved his hand down to my hip, gripping it, and slowly pushing his leg between my thighs, as he pushed me onto my back.

He towered over me - "Now, where were we?" He whispered again, his lips grazing mine and his breath hitting my face.

His lips were so close, it was driving me crazy. I didn't know if I should push him away or pull him closer, but what about everything he said? Did I forgive him just like that? Was I really this easy?

He leaned down and kissed me, softly at first, but quickly grew more heated and passionate, his tongue exploring my mouth. His hands roaming all over my body, pulling my hips closer, pushing his knee against my crotch.

My brain was screaming at me to push him off, but my body was betraying me, wanting his touch, and craving more - addicted - addicted to him.

He slowly started kissing down my neck, his hands caressing my chest, his thumb brushing against my nipple, making me moan. He smiled and started kissing my neck, sucking hard, biting me, making me whimper and moan.

My head was spinning, it was all too much, and not enough at the same time. At some point I just had a silent stream of tears, running down my cheeks as the emotions hit me.

"I missed this so much" Wooseok whispered, kissing his way down my chest, and biting and licking my nipples.

"So much."

- I didn’t react

"Please, let's go home, okay? Come on."

- No response

"Y/N, come on. Let's go home."

"Look, I'm sorry okay? Can we please go home and talk about this?"

"No, Wooseok, you had your chance, you said it yourself, I bother you, remember? You don't need to pretend like everything is okay."

"Baby, please. Don't be like that. I didn't mean it."

"Yes you did."

"No, baby, please, it’s getting dark can we just talk inside.”

“ baby, I just wanna go home, and talk. It's so cold, and it's getting late."

- I turned around laying on my other side, my back facing him.

He sighed and then got up, packing our things, and putting everything back into my bag.

He walked over, and reached out his hand for me.

"Let's go, it's getting late.”

-I refused his hand and got up on my own, brushing off the sand.

"Come on, let's go" He said again, his voice impatient, as he grabbed my wrist and tried to drag me along.

"Stop it!" I protested, but he was still dragging me.

"LET GO OF ME!"

- I yelled, and pulled my arm away from him.

He turned to look at me, a hint of anger flashing in his eyes.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He yelled.

"You're my problem. You keep hurting me and then acting like nothing's wrong!”

"It's not like you never hurt me!,” he shot back.

"When? When did I ever do that to you?"

"You didn’t even run behind me in the morning when I said we needed a Break, you didn’t even care! You couldn’t care less about fighting for this relationship!."

"OFCOURSE I CARE! Maybe I would've chased you if you didn't leave after yelling at me and telling me to leave you alone!, and as for FIGHTING for the relationship, ALL I HAVE DONE is fight for it! - Chase after you ??? For What ???? You and I NEVER make it fucking work, has anything we’ve had for so long even barely qualify as a relationship?,” I snapped back in rage, only realising what I had just said after his expression fell dark and cold. Before I could Tell him I would never mean that -

"JUST WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT Y/N” He shouted at me, his voice was harsh and his eyes were dark and cold, there was no trace of the Wooseok I had just been kissing.

I didn't respond, my heart was beating fast, and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"WELL ?" He shouted again, stepping closer to me.

"W-what?"

"What do you want from me, hm? What can I possibly do to fix this? You are always complaining, about something, and nothing I ever do is good enough for you, it's never enough, and you're always mad at me, what the hell do you want from me?!

“ I JUST WANT YOU, OKAY !! I WANT YOUR LOVE AND ATTENTION AND PRESENCE I WANT YOU TO HOLD ME I WANT YOU TO BE THERE! “

I paused for a second and then continued, my voice cracking. - "And you weren't. You aren’t.

It was like I could see the person I love crumble, his expression changed and I saw his eyes start to water.

"Will you give me.." he hesitated for a moment, and then continued, his voice shaking.

"will you give me another chance?, Please."

- The last word came out almost like a whisper.

I didn't say anything. My eyes were filled with tears.

He stepped closer to me, his eyes fixed on mine.

"Please" He whispered.

"Just one more chance. Please."

-I still didn't say anything.

"Please, Baby."

-I nodded.

"Say it, say you'll give me another chance."

-He pleaded, his voice barely audible.

"I will"

-His expression changed.

-His eyes lit up as a smile spread across his face, tears still streaming.

"Thank you" He said, before wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his face in my shoulder.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, holding him tightly, my face pressed against his neck.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Y/N" He said, his voice shaking.

"it's… okay"

"no it's not. I was such an asshole to you. I'm so sorry"

"It's okay.”

"No, It's not. You don't deserve that. You deserve so much better than me. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I've been such an asshole."

"You have"

-He looked up at me, his eyes watery, and his expression full of regret.

"I'm sorry, Baby. I'm so sorry" He repeated.

-He hugged me tightly, his arms wrapped around my waist strongly, almost as if they were desperate to be embraced.

"I'm sorry too"

"you don't have to apologise, none of this was your fault. It was all mine. I fucked up." - “Let me make it up to you at home?” he asked smirking and grinning like an idiot while crying, which was honestly kinda cute.

"Okay, you can try, and the “I’m sorry sex” better be Earth Shattering,” - I added on, pouting…. as our lips collided.

PART 1 COMPLETE {Please Request For PART 2}

Author’s Note: Hey Everyone, This story was based on an anonymous request. This is the first time I’ve written such an argument scene in an informal/ non-academic way, so I really hope you guys like it. Please leave any feedback !!! It is always greatly appreciated. P.S - STORY IS NOT PROOF READ.

[schrijverr]

I Didn’t Mean to Say I Do, but I Do. I Do. 5

Chapter 5 out of 50

Secret marriage of convenience buddie slow burn AU, where Buck and Eddie have been married for years so Buck could adopt Chris and no one at the 118 knows.

In this chapter, Eddie and Evan decide to get married, so Eddie can go off to war. Evan has to deal with being a parent alone, with Helena judging his parenting. Not to mention Eddie getting send back injured.

On AO3.

Ships: Buddie (slowburn)

Warnings: ableism, emotionally abusive parents, insecurity, homophobia

~~~

Chapter 5: Mr. & Mr. Convenience

They’ve run over the numbers an unholy amount of times. If Evan’s senior year math teacher saw him now, she’d have a surprised induced medical emergency with the amount of calculations he’s done. No matter how they count, Eddie is right. He’s going to have to re-enlist.

When the reality sinks in, Evan feels a fear grip his throat and softly he asks: “What’s going to happen to me and Chris if you do? You know your mom is never going to let me stay with him.”

A part of him thinks, this is it. I have finally overstayed my welcome and Eddie is going to leave to fight a war and Chris will go to his grandparents and I am no longer useful. It hurts, these past few years have been hard, but they’ve been so good too. He doesn’t want to lose the best family he has ever had over medical bills, but it seems like that will be his life.

Before his thoughts can spiral into anything more depressing, Eddie says: “They can’t do shit if you’re his legal guardian. We can do paperwork about that, right?”

“You want me to adopt Chris?” Evan has to check, because that can’t be right. This is the part where people leave, not where people pull him closer.

“Do you- do you not want to? I mean, you don’t have to, I get-” Eddie stutters, suddenly realizing just what he is asking Evan to do. He has already done so much, it keeps surprising him every day that he is still here.

“Of course I want to,” Evan cuts him off. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

“Evan, you’re basically his other dad. This will only make it official,” Eddie tells him as seriously and heartfelt as he can. He still isn’t great at emotions, but for Evan, for his family, he’s willing to try.

“Thank you,” Evan says, hugging him close, despite the awkward angle and the table digging into both their stomachs.

“No, thank you,” Eddie replies, glad that Evan starts crying so he doesn’t have to explain his own moist eyes.

He leaves Evan to go on a research binge about how to best tackle this, while he sits back, mentally trying to process what re-enlisting will mean. He’s going to have to say goodbye to Chris again. It seems even more difficult than it had been the first time around. They’re going to have to let his parents help again too.

As much as Eddie wishes he could, he knows Evan can’t take care of Chris by himself when he is gone. He is already doing way too much by trying. But Eddie is sure that if he lets Chris go to his parents now, he’ll never get him back. He can’t allow that to happen.

That helpless frustrated feeling is back and Eddie hates it. He needs to move. He wants to run away, but that isn’t possible. So, he makes a pot of coffee instead, it is already a late night and it’ll probably become a later one. He is used to it, but Evan is going to need the caffeine.

His own coffee is black, but Evan takes his with two sugars and way too much milk. Eddie thinks it is not how coffee is supposed to be drunk. No one likes the bitter taste, you just have to get used to it. However, he makes Evan his version of coffee without complaint.

When the coffee is done, he puts Evan’s mug next to him, taking a sip of his own as he leans his hand on the table, taking his place behind Evan’s chair to look over his shoulder to see what he’s doing, though not actually reading anything as he asks: “So, what did you find?”

Evan rubs his face with his hands as he takes a break from staring at the screen. He says: “All of them take a long time, too long for the timeline we’re working on with those bills. Unless you want to get married.”

Eddie can admit later that he chokes on the sip of coffee. However, he recovers in record time and actually thinks about it. He and Evan are a lot like a married couple when he thinks about it. They live together, raise a kid together, even sleep in the same bed (albeit practically never at the same time). He’s not gay and Evan has never mentioned being gay either, but you don’t have to be in love to be married. His marriage with Shannon wasn’t entirely out of pure love either. It’ll just be for convenience.

“Alright,” he says after a beat. “Let’s get married.”

“What? Are you serious?” Evan exclaims, giving Eddie wide eyes. He won’t mind being married to Eddie, even if it’s just so he can adopt Chris, but he never thought Mr. Toxic Masculinity Was My Childhood would go for it.

“Yeah, it’s legal right? And it’s the easiest. They don’t actually check if you fuck when you get married and take it from me, being divorced isn’t the end of the world either,” Eddie tells him.

A little feeling that Evan has been refusing to name feels a little crushed at the word ‘divorce’, but he doesn’t let it get to him. They’re friend. Best friends. And co-parents. He would withstand a lot for Chris, and it isn’t exactly a hardship to be married to Eddie. So he says: “Okay. Yeah. Sure. Let’s get married.”

“Cool,” Eddie smiles at him.

“Really? Cool?” Evan guffaws, playing it up to make Eddie laugh. “I don’t know if I’ll marry someone if their proposal consists of ‘cool,’ I’ll have you know.”

Eddie does, in fact, laugh, before dramatically dropping on one knee and saying: “Evan will you do me the honor of giving me tax benefits and parenting breaks.”

“You’re a fucking dork,” Evan informs him gleefully, though he’s unable to stop himself from blushing either.

“Is that an I do?” Eddie asks, leaning in and suddenly much closer than he has ever been.

Evan feels a little breathless as he nods: “Yeah, I- I guess it was.”

“Great,” Eddie smiles, then pulls back as he gets back up, groaning as he does so.

“You’re twenty-four, not eighty,” Evan rolls his eyes.

“Shut up,” Eddie retorts. “We should go to bed. We have a wedding to plan in the morning.”

He starts putting everything away and Evan follows suit in their familiar dance of doing the picking up. “We’re not actually going to plan a wedding, right? Or do you have your sights set on Chris being the ring bearer or something?”

“As adorable as that would be, we’re not actually going to plan a wedding. Do you have any idea how expensive those are?”

Evan doesn’t know how to feel about that exactly, but he lets it go for now. They get ready for bed together and get in. They’ve been sharing the bed for a long time now, but it’s feel weirdly different to lie next to each other now. Technically engaged.

After a few moments of them lying side by side staring at the ceiling, Eddie softly says: “You don’t have to, you know that right? It’s not as if my parents can come snatch him out of your hands.”

“I want to have the legal backing if I’m going to try and pick him up from Helena’s house after she babysits. I don’t think a kidnapping charge would look good on my record.”

“I know, I’m just saying that I won’t be mad if you change your mind or-”

“Shut up,” Evan hits him with his pillow, earning a squawk. “I want to, I’m going to. Now sleep, I have work in the morning.”

And that’s that.

They call the same lawyer that did Eddie’s divorce in the morning and Eddie goes over to get a prenup made, not wanting a repeat of having to sort everything like he had to do with Shannon, because this is just for now. This isn’t going to be permanent, at some point Evan is going to find someone he loves and marry her. Eddie doesn’t know why that thought stings.

He also gets the adoption paperwork ready for when they come over after their wedding. Doing that doesn’t leave the same weird feeling in his stomach, he just takes it to mean he’s making the right choice, letting Evan into his life more. If that’s even possible.

A week later they’re at a courthouse with only Chris as their witness. Both are unreasonably nervous and the press of lips feels weird, but also not. Neither can look the other in the eyes afterwards.

The people who work there take some pictures of them and it’s so ridiculous that it breaks the tension. The two of them, along with Chris, do some weird poses and they’re pretty happy with their wedding day photos, even if they’ll probably get stuffed in a drawer somewhere and then forgotten.

Neither of them think anything will really change, they tied the knot because it is convenient, not because they want to be married. It’s just the best solution they have for now.

This assumption is proven to be incorrect when they eat dinner the first day after they got married when Chris asks: “Did you have a good day, papi?”

Eddie startles a little and sends Evan a look to see if he knows what’s happening, because Eddie has always been daddy. By the looks of it, Evan is just as confused as he is. Eddie turns back to Chris and says: “It was good, mijo.”

“No, silly, not you,” Chris giggles. He is going through a phase where he likes the word silly, he thinks it sounds, you know, silly.

“Me?” Evan asks, eyes wide as he points at himself.

“Uh-huh,” Chris nods. “I told Ms. Jane you are married. She says you’re my daddy too. But daddy is already daddy.”

That makes a surprising amount of sense, but as much as Evan would adore being referred to as his dad by Chris, he doesn’t want the kid to do anything he doesn’t want to. “You don’t have to call me anything you don’t want to Chris. Not because Ms. Jane told you so.”

Eddie surprises him by adding: “But you are allowed to if you want to. You’re right. Evan is your other daddy.”

He meets Evan’s eyes when he says the last part, trying to imprint it onto him that he means it. If there is one thing he knows about Evan, it’s that he can be insecure. Like, they’re married and he’s still worried about overstepping.

Chris is quiet for a second, thinking, then he smiles: “Okay. I’m going to.” Before asking again: “So, did you have a good day, papi?”

“I did,” Evan smiles, thrilled at the development and endeared that Chris is asking him. He always asks the same when he comes home and it seems Chris has picked up on the habit.

Another thing that changes, is their relationship with Eddie’s parents. Evan doesn’t go with him to tell them he re-enlisted and Evan is taking care of Chris while he is away on tour. The news is not well received. Evan will swear he heard the yelling all the way back home.

When Eddie comes back, he looks about ten years older and Evan cautiously asks: “So, how did that go?”

“Well, let’s see,” Eddie sighs, rubbing his face, before ticking off on his hand. “If this were a real relationship, they’d never support it. They can’t believe I’d go this far to keep their grandchild from them. I’m a horrible father for leaving Chris. Again. Especially because I’m leaving him with you. But they are willing to work with us, for Chris’s sake.”

“That… That is a lot,” Evan says, processing what Eddie has just said.

“Yeah, it is.” Eddie throws himself on the couch next to him. “And I don’t trust their motives either, but it’s not like we have a choice.”

“No, we don’t,” Evan sighs, also slumping into the couch. “Beer?”

“Please.”

The Diaz parents knowing also has another side effect of their business being spread all over town, which half-helps against homophobes, because Ramon makes it very clear that his son is being a rebellious kid, who is making idiotic decisions and Evan is the queer villain, who is tricking their son and stealing their grandchild.

Not ideal rumors to have going around, but Evan has a lot of practice not letting things get to him and Chris is too happy of a presence and sadly also too used to whispers following him.

The whispers get worse when Eddie actually leaves, but Evan never tells him. He has enough to worry about in a war zone, he doesn’t need to deal with Evan’s hurt feelings. Unless they get to Chris, it’s not important.

God, Chris. Telling him daddy had to leave again is one of the hardest things either of them have ever had to do.

He screams and cries and refuses to let either of them go for days. Evan thinks he’ll never be able to forget Chris wailing: “No, daddy, no! You can’t go, because you come back, but then papi will leave, I don’t want you to leave. I don’t want either of you to leave.”

Evan hugs Chis close and promises: “Papi is never gonna go, sweetheart. I’m not going to leave you, even when daddy comes back. And he’s going to come, it’s not forever. And I’m going to be right here. Always. Okay? I promise.”

It’s the first time he ever referred to himself as papi, but he doesn’t even get to panic about it, too busy making sure Chris is okay. He teaches him the secret of the pinky promise, trying to ignore how Maddie didn’t keep her pinky promise to him. He vows that Chris will never have to learn that pinky promises are as meaningless as the normal ones.

When Eddie leaves, it is hard all over again. Evan and Chris drive him to the airport, Eddie in the backseat with Chris so they can cling to each other for as long as possible. Evan watches them fondly through the rear view mirror, heart aching and heavy, despite the fondness it is filled with.

He is about as ready as Chris is to drop Eddie off. He knows it’s for the best, did the math himself, then had someone more competent do the math as well. He would’ve offered to go instead in a heartbeat, but Eddie never would have let him. Evan knows he’s doing better for Chris, but sometimes it is so clear that he needs to be the man of the house. Needs to provide. So, here Evan is, having to let him go.

Evan doesn’t feel ready for it, but he supposes no parent feels ready to do it by themselves.

He’s seen how Shannon wasn’t ready and crumbled under it, seen the panic in Eddie’s eyes the day he realized he’d have to do it alone. He made sure Eddie never had to do it alone, but here he is and he is hoping with all he has that he’s not going to crumble like Shannon did. Chris won’t survive it if he does and he can’t do that to him. So he prays a little, even though he doesn’t really believe.

They park the car at the airport and Evan gets out alongside the others. Eddie unbuckles Chris, while Evan goes to grab his bags. Chris happily lets daddy carry him as far as he can, then tries to hold on for longer, hoping that if he can make him miss the flight, he won’t leave them.

It’s almost more heartbreaking than telling Chris when Evan has to pry his little fingers from Eddie’s clothes as Eddie backs up far enough that Chris can’t grab him again.

He holds Chris in his arms while he cries, pretty sure Eddie is crying too as he backs away further into the airport, still waving and refusing to turn his back on them until he absolutely has to. Evan wants to cry as well, but he keeps himself as strong as he can. For Chris. So, he takes Chris’s hand in his own and makes it wave, hoping that’ll be enough of something to make up for departure (he knows it won’t, nothing ever will).

The two of them stand there until Eddie has long since disappeared into the crowd. Neither of them are ready to leave yet. It’s almost as if they stand there long enough, Eddie will return.

Usually, it’s Eddie who makes the difficult calls, since he is Chris’s actual dad, no matter what the paperwork might tell you, so he has the final say. But now Evan is the one that has to make all the decisions, including the hard ones. So, he is the one that has to walk away.

Chris starts crying again the second he does and Evan doesn’t think he’ll ever feel like a worse person than he does in that moment, carrying a protesting, quivering, crying Chris back to the car and away from his dad.

Without Eddie there, the house is quiet. They lived alongside each other more than with each other for most of the time, but Evan is missing the little pockets of time he used to fill with Eddie.

It feels weirdly empty.

Lonely.

Especially the first few weeks when Chris doesn’t speak unless he has to. Evan knows Chris misses the empty spaces Eddie leaves more than him and he doesn’t blame the kid for being upset. It just hammers home how unprepared he is for this, how much he can’t do this alone, how he’ll never measure up to Eddie as a presence in Chris’s life.

However, Eddie calls. Evan can’t always be there when it happens and he knows it isn’t the same as having him there, but it gets Chris out of his shell again.

Those first weeks he only talks to Eddie, then he slowly starts talking to Evan again. A few days later, he talks to his grandparents too, something he learns because a smug Helena informs him of it when he comes to pick up Chris.

She is going to use it as a reason she should keep Chris there longer, since he is obviously more comfortable there. She hadn’t been able to sway Eddie before he left, but she has been trying again with Evan from the second they came back from the airport.

But, Buckley stubbornness is nothing to sniff at, so he just smiles pleasantly and says: “Good to hear he’s opened up here too. He was already talking at home a few days ago, but for a second there it seemed me and Eddie were the only ones that were going to hear his voice, it’s nice that he’s coming back to himself. Settling in again.” And Buckley pettiness is also pretty strong.

Helena’s face drops at that, twisting into something displeased as she replies: “Yes, with his sensibilities, it’s good that he’s recovering from the shock Eddie put him through.”

Talking to Helena always leaves a sour taste in his mouth and the time he spends talking with her has increased considerably since Eddie left. He specifically doesn’t like how she undermines Eddie and babies Chris. It gets on his nerves. His two Diaz boys are capable and she doesn’t get to decide they aren’t.

It makes his blood boil and he wants to fight her every single time he comes to pick up Chris. But he doesn’t want Chris to grow up around arguing, and neither does Eddie. It’s one of the things that they agreed on when it came up during the late nights when Eddie opened up about everything. How Chris has been around enough arguing already.

So, he tries to bite his tongue and scrounges up some sympathy to extend to Shannon for putting up with it for three years. Though, when he reflects, he’s also getting to the three years. He met Chris when he was three and birthday number six is coming up. It’s crazy how his short stop in El Paso for some more travel money devolved so quickly. Not that he regrets a thing.

With strained politeness, he forces out: “Chris is a strong kid and Eddie is caring for him, he knows that. He just has to adjust. Now, we need to go.” A little louder he calls out: “You got your stuff, Superman?”

“Yes, papi,” Chris calls back and he sees how Helena’s face sours even more at that.

She doesn’t like that he lets Chris walk to the car by himself and she certainly doesn’t like that he calls Evan papi. If it were up to her, Evan would’ve never met Chris or Eddie. He should have disappeared right alongside Shannon and the fact that he didn’t is quite the affront to her. Evan tries not to care, he’s used to parents not wanting to have him around, he can take it.

As Chris makes his way to the car, she can’t help but comment: “Be careful Chris that is dangerous, let Evan carry you.”

“Do you want to be carried, Chris?” Evan asks, before she can continue or Chris can reply.

“No, I can do it,” Chris says.

Evan shoots her a look that says ‘what can you do?’ not being very apologetic or genuine about it as he says: “He can do it.”

He allows himself those little petty moments. To stay sane. He can do a lot by himself, but with his hours he can’t pick up Chris from kindergarten, so he has to rely on Helena – and Ramon when he is in town – to do it for him and watch him until he is let off.

It’s not optimal, but he makes do. Eddie trusts him with his kid, Eddie married him, so Chris would be taken care of. That is so far beyond what anyone has ever granted Evan and he refuses to let him down. Even if school gets tense around him being in Chris and Eddie’s life like that and they have to switch where Chris does his PT.

Chris blows out his six birthday candles on a video call with daddy, surrounded by strained family relations. It’s not much better than his fifth, which he spend crying because mommy didn’t come back to celebrate. Evan hopes his seventh birthday will be better.

Evan tries his best to make it a good birthday, he saved up to buy him some nice presents, plays nice with Helena and Ramon, and showers Chris with as much love and attention as he can, trying to make up for the two missing parents.

He forces on cheer the whole day, infusing the birthday with as much love and happiness as he can, then tucks Chris in bed at the end of the night, crawls into his own and cries.

He cries, because he doesn’t want to do this alone, he can’t give Chris the childhood he deserves and he doesn’t know why Eddie trusts him with it, because he’s incompetent Evan. The child his parents don’t want, the idiot who couldn’t finish college and traveled all over to escape his failure and the disappointment. Who accidentally tripped into the best thing that has ever happened to him and is now ruining it.

Chris is old enough that he’ll remember this period. He’s likely not going to know much from Shannon’s struggles, but he’ll remember Evan’s. He will remember how much Evan can’t measure up against all the other people that care for him, how he lets Chris call him papi even though he doesn’t deserve the title at all.

Evan is probably fucking Chris over for life and he can’t stop, can’t walk away, because the only thing he can imagine that is worse than being bad at raising Chris, is not raising Chris at all.

Still, the overwhelming feeling of being insufficient and being lonely presses down on him and he cries a little more, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. That night he wishes Eddie would be there with them again and he is pretty sure Chris wished the same when he blew out those candles.

He regrets making that wish a few months later when he picks up the phone to find a very official voice asking if he is speaking to Evan Buckley, husband of Eddie Diaz.

It’s still weird to hear that said out loud, despite being married for almost a year now, because no one around him acknowledges it really. Not that’s real, beyond the fact that it is real. So he stumbles for a moment as he says: “Y- yeah, uhm, yes, that’s me.”

“We’re calling you, because of an incident involving your husband,” the person on the other end informs him and his stomach just drops, the world collapsing in on itself.

No. No.

This can’t be the call. His legs are jello and his lungs aren’t working.

The voice continues on: “He was injured in this incident and has been transported to Germany to recover, once he is stable enough to make the journey, we’ll bring him home to you,” which brings some relief, because he’s not dead, but Evan’s world is still off kilter, because Eddie is injured.

Eddie is injured. Eddie is badly injured. He isn’t stable enough to come home. He could have died out there.

There is a buzzing in his ears and he is perceiving at the world as if he’s looking through a layer of water. Dazed he makes it through the rest of the conversation with the military person about the state Eddie is in and the logistics of getting him home and getting into contact with him. He retains it all, because it’s important, but it doesn’t feel real. He doesn’t want it to be real.

Evan feels entirely disconnected from his body, because yeah, Eddie is alive. Eddie is probably going to be okay. But for a second there, Eddie might not have been. For a second Evan thought he was getting a very, very different call.

And that scares the shit out of him.

That moment wherein Eddie wasn’t coming back, wherein Evan wasn’t just taking care of Chris by himself until Eddie came back, but had to do it alone for the rest of his life, that scares him.

He keeps telling himself it scares him, because Chris would have been devastated by the news that daddy is never coming home. That it’s not about Evan, but about the kid that is his son, because Evan is just the guy that Eddie married so he wouldn’t have to fight his parents. Because Eddie will come back from war, divorce him and try to find stability without him. That Evan only has a place in his life, because he’s useful to Chris.

But he is realizing now that it isn’t just Chris, who has been waiting for a loved one to come home, it’s Evan too.

It’s a horrible thing, to finally name that thing you’ve been ignoring as nothing but a small crush as love. To realize it’s much more than a fleeting thing, that you’re in love with his best friend while he’s injured and on the other side of the world and you’re at home watching his kid, married to him, but not together.

So, he collapses, lets himself cry and grieve a relationship that will probably never be, then pulls himself back together again. He can’t break down, he still has to tell Chris daddy got hurt.

~~

A/N:

I am making up legalities for the fic, I do not actually know how to adopt a child easily and it can be wildly inaccurate, but I don’t care, bc it helps my plot xp

Also Chris would be hit harder with this additional third tour I’m giving Eddie, since he’s older and can process the leaving, especially after Shannon already left, so I’m hoping it’s not too out of character for people, since I do also love our resident sunshine boy :D

(in my mind he did a tour when Shannon was pregnant, then after she gave birth and now this one)