#they're idiots your honor

[demigods-posts]

i feel like percy and annabeth are the type of couple that would definitely get noise complaints from their neighbors. but it would be like. they got too rowdy arguing whether or not milk was cow juice. or loudly rapping guns and ships from hamilton. or waking up at three am to have pillow fights with any type of cushion they can get their hands on.

[unclewaynemunson]

Pt2 of the badly kept secrets of Eddie's heart monitor

After the first two weeks, Steve seems to have suddenly decided to stop visiting Eddie. No explanation, no goodbye: one day he's there, and then he... Isn't. It takes a few days, sometimes, Steve has a life of his own after all, but a whole week goes by with nothing. And another one. Eddie only knows he's alive – and in town – because the others told him when he asked. Maybe Steve's gotten tired of being surrounded by all that hospital sterility. Or maybe he's gotten tired of being around Eddie. Or maybe... Eddie groans and takes up a stare-down with the fucking heart monitor that's still attached to him at all times, his biggest enemy.

Unfortunately, he has way too much time on his hands, alone in this room and unable to do anything but lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. It makes it far too easy to let his thoughts spiral. Maybe – no, probably, certainly, undoubtedly – that goddamn heart monitor was the ideal help for Steve to decipher Eddie's biggest secret without any difficulties.

Yes, that must be the reason why Steve is staying away. Sure, the guy could tolerate being around “the freak” for a few hours a week out of pity, but of course he wouldn't want anything to do with him anymore upon finding out exactly what kind of freaky thoughts he really has about Steve. Steve was polite enough to pretend like he didn't notice the heart monitor speeding up every single time he got in Eddie's proximity, but of course, of course he noticed. He noticed and now he hates Eddie.

And honestly? He has every right to hate Eddie, with the way Eddie has been exploiting every opportunity to get Steve to touch him. Even though he'd regret it right away whenever the heart monitor couldn't shut the fuck up, Eddie never learned from his mistakes. He was even stupid enough to find meaning in the way Steve's touch would linger after helping him lie down or sit up, stupid enough to find tenderness in the way Steve held his arms when helping him out of his bed and to the bathroom. Obviously, Steve never wanted any of that. Obviously, that only made Steve uncomfortable, but the poor guy was too polite to lash out to the dude chained to a hospital bed healing from having all his organs chewed inside out.

Eddie sighs and closes his eyes; not because he wants to sleep, but because the staring contest with the heart monitor isn't really getting him anywhere. Maybe it's for the best that Steve is staying away. That way, Eddie might be able to get over him more easily. He doesn't deserve Steve's friendship anyway.

***

“I wanna visit Eddie today.”

“Alright, have fun,” Steve answers. “Tell him I said hi.”

Robin sighs dramatically. “No, dingus, you're coming with me. I need a ride.”

“No!” It comes out of his mouth a little too quick, a little too loud, and Robin raises her eyebrows at him.

“No, I can't,” he explains in a calmer voice.

Robin raises her eyebrows even further, making them disappear beneath her bangs altogether. “You literally just told me you don't have plans after work.”

“Yeah, but...” He lets his voice fade out and settles on muttering something incomprehensible.

“I did not understand one single word of what you were saying,” Robin points out. She sounds annoyed, but there's a vaguely amused smile playing around her lips, betraying how she really feels about the whole thing. “Seriously, what's up with you and Eddie? Did you have a fight or something?”

“No...”

“Until two weeks ago, you were at the hospital basically every spare minute of your time. You even canceled two dates just so you could spend more time with Eddie! And now, all of a sudden, you'd rather spend your evening on your own at home watching TV than visit your friend?”

“He's not my friend,” Steve protests.

She gives him a punch against his shoulder.

“Okay, I'm pretty sure he hates me, Rob.” Steve finally caves in. “He gets, like, very uncomfortable whenever I'm around. And I don't wanna add to his discomfort any more than necessary, so it's better I stay away from him.”

“Well, I don't know what on earth gave you that idea, but that is by far the biggest load of bullcrap I heard all week,” Robin says matter-of-factly. “He's asked about you every single time I visited him. He'll be happy to see you, dingus, you're coming with me today. No excuses.”

***

Like clockwork, the steady beeping of the heart monitor falters as soon as Eddie locks eyes with Steve. To make things even worse, what little color that is on Eddie's cheeks leaves his face immediately.

Despite the paleness of Eddie's face, Steve can't help but notice how good he looks in comparison to when he last saw him two weeks ago. He's sitting straight up, leaning against a pillow, and the look in his eyes is far from drowsy.

“S-Steve,” Eddie stutters out. “Hi.” He clears his throat. “And – and Robin, of course, hi! Good to see ya, Buck.” He stretches out his arms to embrace her, and Steve awkwardly comes up behind her. It feels weird not to follow Robin's example and give him a hug, but when he bows over the bed and wraps his arms around Eddie, the beeping immediately picks up speed again. To make things even worse, Eddie quite literally recoils from his touch, leaning away as far as possible and letting his arms hover in the air around Steve more than actually hugging him back.

When Steve looks at Robin, he notices that her eyes have grown about twice their normal size while they flash back and forth between Eddie, the machines around his bed, and Steve.

He locks eyes with her and tries to silently convey a See, I told you so about Eddie resenting him. She answers with a barely visible nod and relief fills Steve's chest. He's lucky to have Robin right by his side, his best friend, the one person he can always count on understanding him. She'll get them out of here in no time and leave Eddie in peace and –

“Oh shoot, sorry, I forgot I need to get a, um, a thing from the car,” Robin says. “I'll be right back.”

As she stumbles out of the room, Steve wants to scream at her that that was very much the opposite of what he wanted her to do, but she disappears before he can do anything about it, only leaving an awkward silence in her wake. So Steve has no choice but to turn back to Eddie and take his familiar place in the chair beside his bed.

“I kinda didn't expect to see you anymore.” Eddie is the one to break the silence. He sounds more distant than the last time Steve saw him. It must be worse than Steve thought: Eddie had been happy to be rid of him and now here he is again, after a meager two weeks of peace.

“Sorry,” Steve mumbles. “She insisted I come with her.”

“So you didn't wanna come?”

Steve chuckles darkly at the irony in that question, not really knowing how to answer that.

“Alright, I'm just gonna say it,” says Eddie when it becomes clear that Steve doesn't quite know what to say. “You figured out what I – how I felt about you, didn't you? Cause of the heart thing.”

Steve looks away, stares intently at the ugly dark blue linoleum carpet under his feet.

“Yeah,” he quietly confesses. There's no use denying it now, he figures.

Eddie heaves out a long sigh.

“For what it's worth: I'm really sorry, Steve, I didn't mean to make you-”

“It's fine,” Steve quickly interrupts him. He doesn't think he could bear Eddie's pity right now. “Don't worry about it. I just wanted to give you some space, y'know, get outta your hair for a bit. I didn't want to make this any more painful for you than it has to be.”

“Really?”

The heart monitor stutters again and Eddie's voice sounds weirdly strained. Steve can't help but look up. He's met with big brown eyes that are looking at him like Eddie actually cares about him. For a moment, Steve imagines to see tears, but then Eddie blinks and the illusion is gone.

“I um... I appreciate that, man,” Eddie says.

Another awkward silence dawns over the room.

“Wait,” Eddie says after a few seconds. “So you're not angry?”

“No!” Steve immediately replies – and it's true. He understands why Eddie doesn't like being around him, that too much has happened in the past for them to just move on and hold hands or some shit.

“It's not your fault,” he tells Eddie. He looks away again, back to the floor in front of his sneakers. “If it's anyone's fault, it's mine, right?”

Eddie huffs out a sound of disbelief. “Why, cause you're just too damn sexy, Harrington?”

Steve frowns. “Well, no, cause I was an asshole and I was mean to your friends during all of high school and it's stupid of me to expect you to just get over that shit and-”

“What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”

There's that stutter in the heart monitor again. It makes Steve wonder if he's putting Eddie's health at risk by simply existing next to him. Maybe it would be better to leave Eddie alone and wait in the car until Robin is done with her visit. What the hell is taking her so long anyway?

He keeps his eyes stubbornly focused on the blue floor. “Isn't that why you got so uncomfortable having me around?” he points out. “Look, I get it, man. I was an asshole, it's true. And it was selfish of me to keep showing up here only because you were too polite to say to my face what you thought about me. I was only thinking about myself and about how much I liked being here with you, it wasn't fair.”

All of a sudden, the soft touch of a hand lands on his shoulder. He hates how that makes his own heart speed up. If he were the one attached to a heart monitor, Eddie would've seen right through him in an instant, that's for sure.

He looks up and meets Eddie's wide-eyed, somewhat shocked face.

“You - you thought you were making me uncomfortable?” Eddie asks him, sounding like he's completely gobsmacked.

Steve frowns. “Isn't that what we've been talking about for the past five minutes?”

“Steve,” Eddie says. “I am so sorry. I didn't – I never – Look. Listen.” He removes his hand from Steve's shoulder and roughly wipes it over his face. His heart monitor accelerates even further. “Please don't hate me for what I'm about to tell you, okay?” He doesn't wait for a reaction, only uses his pause to take a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before opening them again and looking right into Steve's.

“I'm gay, Steve. And that evil computer over there-” He points towards the heart monitor, “-keeps betraying my big, fat, gay crush on you. Every time you walk in here, or read my book to me, or do so much as smile at me, I just – God, I'm such a goner for you and there was no hiding it because of that stupid fucking thing.”

This time, Steve is quite sure he is not at all imagining the tears in Eddie's eyes.

“I thought that's why you stopped visiting. Cause you figured out how gay I am – about you – and you didn't want anything to do with that. With me. Being gay. For you.”

Eddie swallows. He lifts a hand and pulls a strand of hair over his face in a poor attempt to hide the truly terrified expression that's all over his features.

“Jesus, Eddie,” Steve breathes out. He can't even begin to comprehend how spectacularly wrong he has been about everything. It's almost like he's in shock. Only a minute ago, he thought Eddie despised him. And now, he has to process the revelation that the guy in fact has had a crush on him – a “big, fat, gay crush” – all along. That the reason his heart was behaving so weirdly was because Steve's proximity made him lovesick. That he recoiled from Steve's touches out of fear that the monitor would give him away and make Steve realize he was gay and in love with him.

“Please say something?” It sounds like a question, small and so afraid of what is about to come.

“Eddie, I – Jesus. This is... A lot. To process,” Steve manages to choke out.

“I know,” Eddie says. “I'm sorry I made you think I hated you. But... Please don't hate me. I really missed you visiting. We can be friends, right? You won't even have to touch me ever again, we can just hang out like bros, and I'll try to get my feelings for you under control, and you can-”

Steve finally gains control over his body again: he leaps forward and presses his lips against Eddie's with slightly more force than he had meant to do.

A surprised yelp escapes from Eddie's mouth, and the beeping of the heart monitor goes even crazier. It makes Steve's own heart do a goddamn cartwheel, that audible proof of what he is making Eddie feel.

He completely understands why the heart monitor is going batshit crazy right now; everything about this is fucking amazing. One of his hands finds its way to Eddie's surprisingly soft hair, and he revels in the feeling of touching Eddie again and in the taste of Eddie's lips against his own, and maybe he should just climb into Eddie's bed to–

“Thank God for that.”

They quickly jump apart to find Robin standing in the doorway, an annoyingly smug grin on her face.

“You two could really not be more stupid if you tried, huh?”

Steve squints at her while his hand blindly finds Eddie's on top of the sheets and curls itself around it. He feels his cheeks heat up, but he doesn't care. Nothing matters anymore, except for Eddie's hand warmly resting in his own.

“Did you even need anything from the car at all?” he asks Robin, raising an eyebrow at her.

“No, of course not,” Robin scoffs. “Just needed you idiots to finally get your shit together. I don't think I've ever met anyone more dense than the two of you, seriously! There were at least three moments when I almost barged in here to just smash your faces tog-”

“You were eavesdropping on us?!”

“Obviously.”

Steve opens his mouth, indignant and ready to tell her exactly how mean and evil she is, but she merely raises a hand and the look in her eyes is terrifying enough to shut him up before he has even started speaking.

“Hey, listen,” she says. Something in her face softens. “I'm really happy for you guys. Seriously, no matter how stupid you are, you two deserve every bit of happiness in the world.” She takes a step backwards towards the door. “I'll go wait in the car, dingus. Go kiss each other some more.”

And before Steve or Eddie can say anything, she winks and closes the door behind her.

Taglist: @estrellami-1 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @saramelaniemoon @lololol-1234 @carlajim98 @7-starboi @acedorerryn @hallucinatedjosten @goodolefashionedloverboi @zoeweee @resident-gay-bitch @my2amgaythoughts @didntwant2come @steveshairspray @noodle-shenaniganery @thedragonsaunt @finntheehumaneater @queerriotgrrrl @co5m0 @dino-nuggets-posts

[turtleofthehollow]

The best way I can describe how I ship radioapple is “intimacy through hatred”

They hate each other, they never stop hating each other, but they grow so used to each other that they look like they’re dating from an outsider’s perspective

Lucifer knows Alastor hates being touched, so he keeps putting his arm around him and finding any excuse to invade Al’s personal space

Knowing that Lucifer hates his opinion, Alastor goes out of his way to advise the King of Hell on all his problems. Lucifer especially hates it when it’s actually good advice, and has no choice but to accept it

They both enjoy pissing each other off so much that they can often be found laughing together, and everyone thinks they’re just having fun

Luci once insulted Alastor's culinary skills, and it somehow lead to them starting a cooking competition to see who was the better cook. It's been ongoing for years because they keep trying to poison the other, so they're never able to declare a winner

Everyone is super confused about their relationship, and insist that they're actually in love and just living in denial, but they do really hate each other, they just can’t explain it in a way that makes sense

[jheselbraum]

"Zelda loves Link and is stressing about it because surely Link, hero of Hyrule, her favored knight, appointed for her protection, and her closest companion and confidante, doesn't actually harbor romantic feelings for her. Meanwhile, Link is running around in the background devoting 110% of his being to her and would do anything for her and has actually already confessed, like, five times Zelda just didn't pick up on it because she was overthinking it" and "Link loves Zelda and is stressing about it because surely Zelda, Sage of Time, princess of Hyrule, who must marry royal blood, who lives with Link in his fucking house, who has 10,000 years worth of faith and trust in him, who even as a dragon after she lost her self protected Link, his closest companion and confidante, doesn't actually harbor romantic feelings for him. Meanwhile, Zelda is running around in the background toppling the monarchy and reforging the societal fabric of Hyrule so they can be together. She's also confessed like, five times but Link hasn't picked up on it because he's overthinking it" are two concepts that can coexist

[umsoyeahokay]

If arthur and merlin got married, i'm pretty sure merlin's sense of fashion would be the same. Maybe he'd trade in clothes with better material but his style would be the same. So, he doesn't really look like a king or a nobleman but more of a neckerchief wearing merchant.

So, what if arthur had this alliance meeting with some queen and merlin just strolls in late. He sits on the seat that arthur kept ready for him and the queen thinks: woah who does this neckerchief guy think he is?

While arthur is like: meRliN, you're latE

Merlin with bitchface #63: I was at the tavern ( code word for I was out keeping your fat ass and the kingdom safe from evil magic users.

Arthur then gives this functional-you better not be hurt-once-over of merlin and turns to their guest and says: this is my husband, Merlin

And the queen looks over to this apparently day drinking, neckerchief wearing king who seems quiet and reserved but genuine with his little hello.

[gaelic-holiday]

New fic idea: Merlin tells everyone he has magic right from the start, but no one believes him.

Arthur: How did you manage to bring me rolls that are still warm, Merlin?

Merlin: Magic, sire. (with a teasing grin)

Arthur: Haha, very funny, Merlin

Gwen: How did the poultice you gave me heal my father?

Merlin: Magic.

Gwen: You can tell me me the truth, Merlin. I know you're not foolish enough to use magic in Camelot.

Merlin: I really, really am.

Gwain: How do you keep not dying when we run into bandits?

Merlin: I use my magic to protect myself.

Gwaine: Lol, nice one, Merlin.

Leon: Hey Merlin, why are you reading from a book that looks like a book of sorcery?

Merlin: Oh, because I have magic and am studying spells so I can use it better.

Leon, laughing: If you say so, Merlin.

Percival: Hey Merlin, how do you get the fire started so quickly?

Merlin: Magic. Forbearn is a really easy spell.

Percival, laughing: Alright, fine. Keep your secrets, 'oh mystical sorcerer'.

Elyan: And where do you keep disappearing to, Merlin?

Merlin: Oh, just saving Arthur from whatever assasin or magical threat crops up this week!

Elyan, playing along: Oh really? And which was it when you missed going to the tavern with us?

Merlin, completely serious: Morgause sent a swarm of enchanted birds to try and rip out Arthur's heart.

Elyan: You have a strange sense of humour, Merlin.

Uther: And how, precisely, did you survive the encounter you've just described?

Merlin: I used magic.

Uther:...I have no idea why my son seems to like you so much. You're an idiot.

Arthur: Hey, he's my idiot. And my idiot is just the kind of person to joke about having magic to the king of Camelot.

Merlin: Why do you assume I'm joking?

Arthur: See what I mean?

Lancelot, the only person besides Gaiuss that actually knows about Merlin's magic: How on earth do you keep that a secret?

Merlin: I don't. I use magic in front of literally everyone, and no one believes me.

Lancelot: You're joking.

Merlin: I literally use magic to fill Arthur's tub in front of him every day, and he assumes I'm joking about having it.

Gaius, very distressed: Merlin, you really should be more careful with your magic.

Merlin, calls Arthur over: watch this trick!

Merlin, summons a glowing, clearly magic butterfly in front of Arthur: Isn't magic neat?

Arthur, patting Merlin on the shoulder: Like you could ever learn magic, Merlin. Make sure you polish my armor again, will you?

Merlin: Why, do you intend to use it as a mirror?

Arthur: *flips Merlin off and walks away*

Merlin: See Gaius? Perfectly safe.

Gaius:...

Merlin: If it wasn't so convenient for me, I'd be very worried about how unobservant our future king is.

[looking-for-orion]

No because this image is so freaking funny.

The sheer panic on both of their faces? The way they are clearly working together to solve this? Henry keeping watch while Alex is ACTIVELY TRYING TO CLEAN OFF HENRY'S SUIT FOR HIM???

Henry HOLDING ALEX'S GLASS FOR HIM??

What is even going on that caused that cake to fall?? Every snippet we get makes this scene seem more and more deranged I'm so in love

[spacedace]

I don't know where this came from but here:

Damian, Jon and Elle are working out at the Teen Titan gym. Jon notices that Elle has stopped and is just staring at Damian and decides to sidle on over, both to tease his girlfriend and join her in watching their boyfriend go ham in the fight simulation program.

Jon: Enjoying the view?

Elle: huh? Oh no - well, yeah obviously, but that's not why I'm staring

Jon: Oh? What's up then? Something wrong with D?

Elle: No, nothing like that, it's just...

Jon: Just?

Elle: Does he pluck his eyebrows to be that shape?

Jon: ...what?

Elle: It just occured to me that his eyebrows are like, shaped like the wings of the bat symbol. Does he pluck them them to get that shape? Or are they natural? I mean, Batcow's "mask" is natural so...

Jon, a dawning realizationin his eyes: ...I - they've been that way since we were kids...

Elle: Yeah, I've seen pictures, but it's Day. Can you really tell me he wouldn't start doing it as a kid to as like a "see I'm totally the superior child, I even my eyebrows are dedicated to the cause" and then have to keep it up forever cause he couldn't just admit he was plucking his brows into that shape when he was a little bratty kid.

Jon: Oh my god he totally would

Damian finishes up at the simulation area and wanders over to his two partners to see what they're talking about

Damian: Hey-

Jon & Elle: Are your eyebrows real?!

Damian stops. States at them. Turns on his heel and just walks away from them without a word with both of them immediately chasing after him badgering him about his eyebrows.

(It takes another three months but they do eventually catch him painstakingly plucking his brows for that optimal Bat-Wing look)

[fazedlight]

“Did kryptonians ever wish on stars?” Lena asked. “Nope,” Kara said. “That would be sacrilege, given that our star was our god.” “Makes sense.” “I wish on Rao, sometimes, though,” Kara said. “When I landed, I mean. And started learning Earth traditions. I’d find him in the sky and make wishes.” “What do you wish for?” Lena asked, and the expression on Kara’s face faltered.

The Observatory is a short one-shot on AO3.

[alphawhitefox]

Enid: "Yoko please, I know there's another way." *Close to tears*

Yoko: "I'm sorry, Enid. I tried so hard, but I can't, it's too much."

Enid: "Yoko, think, it has to be another way, there's always another way."

Yoko: "Not out of this. I'm so sorry Enid, I wish it was different, that this was going in another direction, but we don't choose fate. I'm so sorry."

Yoko put down a +4 on the table and closes her eyes as if it pains her, while Enid's tears finally falls down.

Yoko: "Uno."

Wednesday reading at the table but not participating in the game: "I am surrounded by idiots."

[wulvercazz]

🫐Wrong & Right Scents🍓

Here's part two of the scenting series :>ccc (previous~)

It doesn't matter how "close" they've grown, how Grimmjow will -mostly willingly- meet with the shinigami outside of battle more and more often these days. How he even agreed, after months of barking offended 'no's at Urahara every time he suggested it, to use a gigai for the sole purpose of following Ichigo along into his little human activities. Like this so called "Aquarium" place he was so eager to show him that particular day . It doesn't matter... because, every once in a while, Grimmjow is startingly reminded that Ichigo is, in fact, an Alpha... and very capable (quite surprisingly) of making his little Omegan heart do back flips in his chest against his will. It's simply unacceptable. That that useless nose of his seems to work in the most unexpected of moments, and that without a hint of proper Hollow etiquette, he still gets some things very, very right.

Next~

[peach-cream-tea]

THE SILLIES

full page below👇

[wickedwitchofthewesninski]

Drunk Kevin: That's a nice argument, why don't you back it up with a source

Even drunker Aaron, standing on top of the kitchen table: my source is that I mADE IT THE FUCK UP

[zishuge]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023) | Ep. 11

[demon-prosecutor-milesedgeworth]

I like to think that Phoenix and Edgeworth go straight from friends and legal partners to legitimately married with no in between. Either:

A. They go on like idiots, very much in love, but pretending they're not in love, until one of them says 'fuck it' and proposes

b. They go on like idiots, neither realizing they're in love until one of them goes 'oh fuck' and proposes.

Either way they go from friends to married in like a week tops, delighting Trucy and confusing the heck out of Apollo.

[forestshadow-wolf]

Price: can I be frank with you guys?

Soap, completely serious: not the name I would have chosen but okay

Ghost and gaz: *bickering weather price was changing his name or trying to tell rhem something*

Soap, still completely serious: shut up guys, frank is trying to tell us something

Price: *exhausted dad sigh* why are my boys all idiots 😑