#thinking it was a fault
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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
#ramble#if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands#you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things#some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible#the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think#i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex#this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about#yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian#you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate
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"NO DWARVES IN MY FOREST 😡"
"Your wife is hot."
"...THIS ONE DWARF WITH IMPECCABLE TASTE CAN STAY"
#lotr#celeborn#gimli#jrrt lord of wife-guys#tolkien#been thinking about doriath and lothlorien a lot lately and that HoME note about how Celeborn overlooked Thingol's faults re what happened#and how much Lothlorien is Doriath remade and how much it's Doriath-done-differently#but that one's for a longer post I think!
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God, I just know that the family hates playing Scrabble with Jason, because they agree being casual and not search for unusable words through dictionaries intentionally - side eye at Tim, who prior the Scrabble night learned by heart the whole dictionary and spluttered words the next day without even remembering their meaning just because he wanted to win - and then they forget that Jason is English & Literary major. And his casual words are like. Unknown by the half of population.
Jason: Hm-m, geoluread. Dick: There is no way this word is real. Jason: It means yellow-red, actually. Poets and writers used it to describe-- Damian, aka. Nerd Jr: He is right, it is a real word. Tim, groaning: Can we play Uno? Duke: No, no, wait, I use Jason's bizarre knowledge for making my own dictionary to use in school essays and impress teachers, let him cook. Cass, nodding: Good source information. Dick, frustrated: THIS IS NOT EVEN FAIR Stephanie, reaching for her phone: I smell a fight--
#Dick is big sister (he cannot handle losing in family games night and will fist-fight Bruce if he wins him in the Monopoly)#Jason DOES use these words intentionally but he also thinks that it is others' fault if they are not educated like that.#Tim is also competitive asf but Dick banned him from acting on it. like a true hypocrite.#Damian used to be competitive but the older he grows the more he realises how ridiculous and embarrassing it looks from outsider POV#so he drops it and spends his time to bully his brothers#jason todd#red hood#batman#dcu#dcu comics#dc universe#batfamily#bruce wayne#batfam#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#stephanie brown#duke thomas#cassandra cain
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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Don't Call Me That
Dick isn't entirely sure what it is about their newest teenaged recruit Phantom, but the guy absolutely gives him the creeps.
He knows it isn't the implication of a realm of ghosts being a real thing, no matter how much that implication has rattled his brain. But it is something, something else.
There was just some kind of certain air surrounding Phantom that tended to put Dick on edge whenever they're near each other.
It also doesn't help that the guy has the tendency to do things normal people wouldn't really do. Things like talking to the empty air like he's having a genuine conversation or staring off into one spot of the room like a cat watching a corner of the wall while hunting.
Things like bringing sudden chills to Dicks skin whenever he passes by or the way he seems to constantly breathe out cold air like a dragon for the fun of it.
Dick has caught him doing all of these things multiple times and most times, despite scaring him slightly, they were just harmless things about his newest team-mate.
But right now it wasn't really about that at all. Right now he's more annoyed than afraid of him.
For some reason recently, Phantom has been greeting him by his old hero persona rather than his new one. And its been eating at Dick every single time it happens, being reminded of the time he had first switched costumes and names to distance himself from Batman as a whole.
Except this time the person saying it had never even MET him in his original suit, so having Phantom calling him Robin was aggravating him faster than any of the other more important issues he should be dealing with were.
Dick originally attributed to it possibly being some sort of hero worship that he was going through, an attempt to impress him with his past history as knowledge. God knows, Tim wasn't any better when he had first met the poor kid at his doorway all those years ago.
But then Phantom had revealed that he hadn't even known Gotham was a real city nor did he know who Batman was up until a few months ago. That had set Dicks mental alarm bells off all over again.
It was weird all over and since it was just outright weird, Dick had decided to pull him aside to talk to the younger teen about it.
"I would appreciate it if you didn't call me by that name, Phantom" He had started off, watching as Phantom went through confused faces to figure out what this conversation was about. Dick just continued on.
"The name, Robin, is just really special to me and my family. And I stopped going by that name years ago, it would feel wrong to be called that again when I've outgrown it."
Phantom looked less confused now as it seemed to click altogether about what he had been talking about. The teen tilted his head at him, looking over him for a second before doing another one of his cat stares at the dead air behind him.
Dick just sighed for a moment but watched as Phantom came back into focus and genuinely looked somewhat apologetic.
"I'm sorry," Phantom started off sheepishly, eyes looking towards the floor for a second before looking back at his. "I didn't know you both went by that name at some point. I had mostly been greeting the little ghost attached to your side, not you, sir"
Dick froze at the wording, looking at Phantom with wide eyes. Phantom just continued without even looking at him.
"He always seems to be around you a lot and he was excited when he realized I could see him so I started greeting him whenever he was with you. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfy doing so."
Dicks breath hitched a bit before eventually choking out all the questions he had trapped in his throat. The suddenness made Phantoms eyes land back on his face again.
"What... What little boy? Did he say his name? What was he wearing?"
Phantom tilted his head again at Dick, looking more confused at Dicks confusion.
"What do you mean? It's Robin wearing the Robin costume?"
Phantom suddenly looked over to the dead air behind him again for a second, nodding his head and humming a bit before turning his attention back to Dick.
"He told me to say 'Big Bird you're such a dolt' to you. I don't know what that means but-"
Dick couldn't hear anything else Phantom was even saying to him. His breathing stopped and all he could feel was a small chill behind him, seemingly surrounding him in a small way that reminded him of a certain boys hug.
"Jason?"
#dcxdp#dc x dp crossover#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#ghost jason todd#but like in a funny way#kinda#lol#Basically Danny can see Jasons ghost around Dick#Dick thinks its a hallucination but really its Jason for the first few times#until hes brought back to life anyway#anytime Dick sees Jason after that its absolutely his mental healths fault#Danny just thinks this baby ghost is choosing to haunt his favorite hero#and he thinks its adorable#hes also NOT gonna not greet a little ghostling theyre all adorable and he rarely sees one outside the realms#Dick almost chokes when Danny tells him whos haunting him#Before bursting into tears at the idea of Jason haunting him#out of all the options#its alot
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God IS a middle schooler and we ARE a science project except he does know we exist and has very mixed feelings about the whole ordeal
#There’s something so like horridly fucked up about the beta trolls actually#What do you MEAN that these kids created a universe and were then left to rot in a place locked outside of any kind of reality that matters#And they were all pretty much convinced they were gonna DIE#and then karkat finds out in some roundabout backwards way that it’s all his fault#That everyone he cares about is killing each other or going to die in this awful space void because of something he fucked up#Actually insane#Not discussed enough I think#homestuck#homestuck fanart#karkat vantas#homestuck karkat#hs karkat#artwork#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#zack art#eyestrain#tw eyestrain#tw eye contact
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another random thing that stands out to me rewatching Steven Universe as an adult:
throughout the show there's this clear Vibe that Steven has inherited some big magical destiny, right? and it makes sense narratively: he's the son of Rose Quartz, leader of the rebellion, now being raised by her friends who were the last remaining survivors of an interstellar war. he's like a human child in most ways, except he has magical powers that start to become more obvious as he's getting older. no one like him has ever existed before. it's a big deal. raising him and figuring out how he's going to grow is its own unique challenge, because nobody knows what to expect. so of course there's this magical destiny vibe, given all that.
What's interesting to me, though, is that this magical destiny is in no way literally, physically present in the story, it's just something everyone kinda feels. Like, there's not some ancient prophecy about a half-gem, half-human savior. He's not the Chosen One in any literal sense, he just happens to give off Chosen One vibes. And I say that's interesting because it means that the fact he was kinda raised with this Chosen One vibe is completely a decision everyone around him made, for better or for worse. And the show is aware of this, because the weight of Rose's legacy and everyone's expectations of him is a constant theme, and as Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl all grow and develop, they also realize the downsides of them putting those expectations on a child. Like, Steven spends his whole childhood being told about how great Rose was, and how because he's inherited her gem he will probably inherit her powers - and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Imagine how awful things could have been if Steven had no exposure to the Gems and no knowledge of what they were or how they worked, and then his powers started coming in? It was hard enough even when he was surrounded by the most qualified Gem Experts on Earth. But being primed for all of this "you're going to have your mother's magical powers" stuff put a heavy weight on his shoulders, and then the fact that nobody else quite knew how his abilities worked meant he was constantly faced with the adults in his life looking to him with concern because they didn't know what was happening with him. That's gotta leave an impression on a kid - and, well, throughout the show and especially in SU Future we definitely see that it does.
I like the way the show handles the pressure that's put on him, and the fact that everyone is just... trying their best in a completely unprecedented situation. Nobody knows what to do or how to raise this kid, and that inevitably causes problems but everyone is trying. And Steven can feel that everyone is trying without knowing what to do and he just wants to help and not be a burden and none of his caretakers have said that he's a burden but he can feel everyone's confusion and concern and the expectations he's not living up to and he cares so much, about everyone, about everything. He's in an extremely unique position that grants him opportunities to help that nobody else has, and he feels like he's failing everyone if he can't fulfill that, and in the end it never should have been his job to fix things but somebody had to try. Somebody had to try, and he was one of the only people with the ability to stop the Diamonds, stop the war, stop the lies, stop his world and everyone on it from being destroyed... and he was just a kid.
#i feel so protective of this kid watching as an adult like holy shit#so much terrible shit happens to him. it's nobody's fault. it's everybody's fault.#it's destiny but it's a choice. it's necessary but it's really not. it's all about steven but it never actually was.#the show handles the contradictory nature of things well i think. everyone's feelings and relationships are complex and nuanced#ghost speaks#steven universe
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Y’all remember the foxy is nice FNAF theory
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#foxy the pirate#michael afton#delusional moment here but I think they are besties#I wanna believe that Michael and foxy are homies#ITS similar to how Vanessa takes care of the fnaf 1 animatronics#if Vanessa is in a way a reflection of Michael#it makes sense to me he’d be friendly to them sometimes#obviously it’s complicated cause they’ve tried to kill him#but he knows a bit better that it isn’t their fault#Michael being nice to the animatronics is just sweet#I think after all my angst art this is deserved pff
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My conspiracy theory is that one of the reasons they fired Stephanie J. Block for the role of Elphaba in 2000 and replaced her with Idina Menzel at the end of the OBC workshops is because SJB played the role SO gay that it was quickly crossing the line of plausible deniability. Like she doesn't seem to be able to help herself.
And thank god she eventually got to play the role on Broadway (arguably one of the best - if not THE best - actresses who ever did), because we finally got to see her get super fucking handsy and stare lovingly into Glinda's eyes inches away from her face for three hours:
Like holy shit why do you keep looking at Annaleigh Ashford like you want to eat her alive??
Plus I cannot emphasize enough just how effective and moving this particular version of For Good is. Straight up feels like wedding vows.
(Ironically, she also has the best chemistry with Fiyero's character, and arguably the very sweetest performance of As Long As You're Mine in the entire slime tutorial universe.* So I'm just reading this as a Thropple Truther performance.)
*But that's just because she was (and still is) literally married to him. So they get uh. A little carried away in their performance. *cut to Sebastian Arcelus holding lantern up, his face covered in green makeup from aggressively making out with his wife on stage for several minutes* Apparently the makeup team HATED that song for them.
#wicked#gelphie#stephanie j block#I will literally NEVER stop yelling about her being robbed#my Roman Empire etc etc#not Menzel's fault obvi but I wish there was more recognition of SJB's contribution#most of the songs were written for her - only one song (Wizard and I) actually originated with Menzel#they said she was a 'less experienced performer' but I think she just played the character too gay??#my tin foil hat#tin man hat if you will#anyways hmu if you want a link to this performance#thropple#Annaleigh Ashford
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The books reveal that Ford is actually a secret partier
(Available as a print on my Etsy Shop)
(wips under cut)
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#billford#journal 3#stanford pines#bill cipher#jheselbraum the unswerving#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#RAHH MY LOVE FOR MAKING MIDCENTURY-STYLE ART AT TIMES CAME IN SUPER HANDY#I think I surprised myself here 😳#(also don’t take this as shipping him and Jhes 😭💀 that’s his space fish mom 😁)#in the book of bill. obviously he and bill get drunk that time#and then in the 3rd journal#it says that after Jhes told him he had the face of the man who would defeat bill (meaning stanley lmao)#he ‘was so excited’ that he and Jhes ‘spent the entire night partying and drinking cosmic sand’#it’s funny bc Jhes is described as speaking with a steely resolve and is very calm#so it’s silly to me to picture her partying haha#I might make this one a print as well bc I really love how it looks#I’ll print it out tomorrow and decide if it’ll work well enough :) if it does I’ll put it on my shop#😭 the bill…his thumb is backwards BUT THATS NOT MY FAULT THATS LITERALLY HOW IT IS IN THE BOOK OF BILL PAGE THAT I REFERENCEDTHIS FROM WAHH#he can do whatever he wants ig
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Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(
#autism#neurodivergent#adhd#fun facts#GOD I’m such an idiot#anyways now a 10 year old is out there looking up swear words online and it’s all my fault :(#I got so excited by the fact that I knew a fun fact#that I didn’t stop to think that maybe not everyone knows that fun fact for a reason :(#it’s like explaining how to successfully bury a body at a book club#or explaining the dangers of Scientology to your sister’s boyfriend the first time you meet him#or debating gay sex positions with your best friend in front of your mom#no matter how much I wish to be a beacon of knowledge in this world#sometimes there are things others just don’t want to know#and consciously that’s valid but the autism ? I does not care
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trans women are everywhere and are so eager to be seen and heard but only if they feel safe around you. if you hardly ever have trans women interacting with you, especially online, then consider there might be a reason for that and you should address it
#the same thing happens with black people#black people are everywhere! especially online! black gay and black trans people!#but when your community is suspiciously devoid of them then theres something wrong and you need to acknowledge it#even if its not intentional you need to think about how theres minority groups who do not feel safe around you at face value#this is why loud and outright support and solidarity is so important#black people and trans people and etc minority groups will assume you are unsafe unless you explicitly state otherwise#you can't just sit there and say 'well they didnt approach us so its not our fault for not including them!'#like did you TRY to get them to approach you??#cy texts
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I feel fandom would get along a lot better if there was mutual understanding that liking a character, agreeing with a character, and thinking the character is well constructed/executed are all separate (if often overlapping) positions, each with their separate tastes and subjectivities. Also: character portrayals are intended to make the audience feel things; this is separate from (if often overlapping with) analyzing/appreciating their actions and role in the story.
#I would queue this because it's truly not character-specific#but there is always something happening with a character so that probably wouldn't help lol#anyway I'm making this nonrebloggable because I am not interested in the tomato throwing atmosphere out there#do not clown in bad faith on this post or in my inbox please I will just delete it#op#it's just over time I do see a pattern of like “I think X character was wrong in this” and some reactions being “you *hate* X character!”#or that if you like a character you *must* agree with them and/or have such a deep an endless compassion for their faults and mistakes#that it comes all the way back around to removing their agency because HOW could they do any different#and if you do not give them this grace then it is antithetical to you liking them or enjoying them or even just being neutral on them#when this is often not the case#like as an Essek and Jonas Spahr enjoyer their fuck-ups are very essential to why they have any sort of “grow as a person” arc#characters *have* to have texture and foibles or they are stagnant in the story - let your fave fuck up a bit! As a treat!#and lastly I'll just say that my point here is NOT that everyone is always positive or that haterism doesn't exist.#Some commentary just seems to happen at different frequencies from each other and it catalyzes more angst than it needs to
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your superior finding out about the secret praise kink you didn't know had a name because you'd always been called an over achiever, a goody two shoes. never gave anyone any trouble, nose burrowed in a book since you had knobby knees and a library card.
you'd thought it normal that the apples of your cheeks burned when praised after giving your teacher the drawing you'd made for them the night before. that heat spread from the center of your chest up when your first boyfriend/girlfriend whistled at the sight of you outside of uniform. that warmth settles in your belly when you get a pat on the back from your platoon leader firm enough to force the air out of your lungs because you'd disassembled and cleaned a glock with the ease of a professional.
apparently it wasn't.
after weeks of training with the fabled task force, weeks of sharing elbow room with the team, weeks of soaking up the dizzying praise from the captain ("did real good out there, eh? can always count on you." you didn't question the throb betwixt your thighs, taking care of it with a cute little bullet like you've always done since joining the military)
you're confronted by the worst of the lot. ghost catches you in a break room, your back to him, hands clutching a cup of coffee that's more sludge than liquid, its warmth barely seeping through the styrofoam.
his figure fills the doorway, shoulders nearly brushing the frame. your first thought is that his brows aren't twisted together and he lacks that cold, blank look in his eyes so your death isn't in the nearest of futures. the second is that when he's not fully covering his face, the outline of his jaw is quite visible, looking sharp enough to cut.
then he crosses his sculpted arms over his chest, seams straining against the expanse of his muscles, head tipped to the side.
he moves with the keen curiosity of a predator sniffing around a newborn fawn, gaze intense yet inquisitive, assessing your every detail with a menacing interest.
"you ever gonna tell me you've a praise kink, bird?" the question sends a chill through your veins before turning into a fiery rush as it races at twice the normal speed.
praise kink? no. surely not. doesn't everyone like to receive compliments?
"sure. i don't mind gettin' told i've an impressive cock but that's bed talk. you look ready to bend over 'nd show us how slick tha' pretty cunt can get over a rufflin' of hair and a couple of empty words."
that has you positively reeling, fingertips cracking the cup in your hands, pulse on your neck fluttering. you feel a cornered, skittish animal, ready to flee lest your life come to an end in his maws.
but as usual, the cruel man more creature than person, twists the knife he's dug into you with a certain ruthlessness only he can muster.
"so be good for me, eh? love your praise? earn it."
you've always been an over achiever, proven once again by the way you take him to the root in one long, broad stroke with any complaints at the sheer size of him resting firmly behind your clenched teeth.
"tight little thing, spread open over me like you were meant for it. for me." he runs a gloved thumb over your swollen bottom lip. "there's tha' look. drivin' me bloody insane when you gave kyle tha' molten gaze. none o' tha' now, yeah?"
he creeps his ungloved hand down to circle your pearl with the spit-slick pads of his fingers, drawing in a sharp breath when your walls flutter and constrict around his cock at the feel of something other than your toy giving you the relief you need after a hard day's work.
"bloody fuckin' 'ell."
ghost claims a fistful of hair, pulling you closer to him, his breath warming the stinging, throbbing mark he bit onto the delicate skin of your neck. the shuffling of feet right outside the door snap you out of your daze, fingernails sinking into the bulging muscle of his chest but he has none of it.
he uses your hair to direct your focus back onto him and even though he'd only given you a leading tug you felt some strands of your hair come off with a pop.
"easy. can't see your pretty face when i'm fuckin' ya if your lookin' away."
your expression twists into what you hope is bliss when he bucks his hips, your whimper drowning out his groan when he hits on something new.
something you want him to keep hitting.
"exactly like i'd thought."
everything else blurs together after that, and only when you're back in your room using a warm cloth to clean yourself up do you remember the other things he'd rumbled.
(inside o' ya, make you mine-)
(-get 'bout bein' with anyone else-)
(-ll to myself-)
you touch your tender pussy with gentle fingers at what he'd said in the end.
(leave tha' f'me, he swipes your hand away, i'll get ya there, pet.)
if price's compliments take a nose dive off a cliff you don't notice because you're getting your daily fill of them and ghost after dinner every night. kyle keeps them to one word and soap likes to tempt fate as always.
#desperate gross old man definitely gets his ass chewed out later#what the fuck was he thinking fucking the newbie in the BREAK ROOM#not your fault though you're an angel and price will always have your six 👍🏽#unless laswell hears of your shit then you're on your own buddy#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley smut#simon riley x you#simon riley smut#cod smut
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#star trek tos#star trek#bones mccoy#tos bones#nobody’s having a worse day than him#although arguably it’s his own fault sometimes#super high when I thought of this so it took forever to make#I think he’d be proud tho
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aos spock when his mom gets killed: i feel anger toward the man that killed my mother
aos sarek: your mother would want you to feel, my son 😔
tos spock if his mom got killed: i am going to kill nero with my bare hands
tos sarek: that is highly illogical, my son. I am going to kill nero with my bare hands
#star trek#tos#aos#girl if amanda got killed in tos spock wouldve started biting throats#sarek wouldve murdered kirk#it wasnt kirks fault but that doesnt matter#he stood too close to sarek while he was thinking about his wife and so hes dead now
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