#this is mostly for myself to save my favorite ones

[pepsiboyy]

HEARTSTRINGS. - p1

masterlist ⚜ p2

pairing: chris sturniolo x fem!reader summary: after moving to massachusetts from florida, y/n lives with her half brother, nathan doe, who is part of a small garage band. their sassy guitarist, chris sturniolo, can't help but get on her nerves. but there's something about him. warnings: use of y/n lol, mentions of drugs, cursing a/n: rewrote the FUCK out of this, i hope this one is SO MUCH BETTER. love u guys. <3

"chris?"

"phone charger girl!"

"the fuck is he doing here?" my voice boomed in the garage, causing nathan to flinch slightly.

"woah, you two know each other?"

"sort of." chris responded with that stupid smug smirk on his face.

"not at all, actually." i responded quickly, immediately shutting down chris' disgusting expression.

my heartbeat was racing. i couldn't feel anything but anger in every fiber of my being. i couldn't help but remember to myself earlier today.

i had been living in massachusetts for about three days now. very interesting place, very different from florida.

after my mom's drug addiction became a major issue, cps was informed and i was sent to my dad's in boston, where i was completely unfamiliar with everyone and everything.

my dad's side, they weren't complete strangers if checking his status on facebook counted as being close.

shortly after i was born, my mom took me and left my dad in boston while we fled to live in florida. and as i get older, i can't help but feel more hatred towards the woman. my dad was a great guy, never deserved the way she treated him. he definitely did not deserve his first child being ripped away from his grasp a few months into my life.

when my mom and i moved to florida, my dad met another woman and had a child with her, whose name is nathan.

he seems like a really cool guy, an awesome brother to have, so i was looking forward to this move a lot, more than i probably should have.

the feeling of fresh air was appealing to me and the feeling of finally being there to reassure my dad that i want to be with him was even more exciting to me.

nate and i clicked pretty quickly, talking about our music taste on the way home from the airport. we talked a lot about video games, and he told me he was involved in a small garage band and plays the drums.

"that's so fucking cool!" i exclaimed with a bright smile, and nathan nodded.

"yeah! we mostly do covers now, but i plan on releasing some new and original music soon."

i nodded as i stayed focused on nate as he spoke, playing with my hands in my lap nervously.

the fact that this kid was my brother was so mind blowing to me. i couldn't wait.

the doe family had left to go to an event they had only bought three tickets for. i reassured them over and over that i was okay with staying at the house and continuing to settle in. and with that they left.

i dug through my bag and frowned when i came to a tragic realization.

"fuck." i cursed under my breath as i stood up and slid on my shoes.

time to go to that one gas station down the street we stopped at on the way here from the airport.

i left the house through the front door and slid my earbuds into my ears, playing my favorite playlist as i walked down the street.

boston was a lot more close together than florida. it genuinely made my heart happy.

about fifteen minutes into my walk and i find the gas station, pulling the door opened and look at the employee at the counter, smiling faintly to greet him. his eyes were glued to his phone though, so i turned to make my way up and down the aisles and look for the phone charger that works for my phone.

"eighteen dollars is fucking bizarre." i muttered under my breath at the charging brick box that i now have between my fingers. i carefully took it off the bar and grabbed a six ft long cord, making my way to the counter.

this is great. no job, new place, and i was already burning a hole into my savings for a fucking phone charger.

i set the two boxes on the counter and began digging through my pockets to find my wallet, the boxes hitting the counter a little harder than i had intended.

"woah there, sensing some aggression from 'ya. boyfriend start an argument with you or what?"

i finally found my wallet, but my eyes shifted quickly to the boy at the counter. "excuse me?" i asked, my face flushed at the thought. "it doesn't-" i blinked a few times. this kid was insane. "just ring me out please." i sighed as i inserted my card in the cardreader.

"relax sweetheart, just yankin' your chain." he stated defensively, skipping through the prompts on his screen. his hair was a little longer than average, and fairly wavy. he had a silver cuban link bracelet on one wrist and a few small handmade ones on the other, a ring or two on each hand. he had silver hoops in his ears and a plain black t-shirt on over his blue baggy jeans.

i stared at him in disbelief before i put my pin into the pad, yanking out my card as soon as it beeped and quickly shoving it into my wallet. chris set the charger boxes into a small plastic bag, placing it on the counter between us.

"i'm not your sweetheart," i narrowed my eyes at the nametag on his shirt, sucking in through my teeth, "chris."

i gripped the bag and left the gas station, and never turned back to see chris with his arms raised, and that disgusting smirk on his face.

my music was playing extra loud in my headphones in a desperate attempt to drown out the sound of nate slamming the drums in the garage.

i carefully sat up, my hand moving to run through my hair as i slipped on my shoes and stepped down the stairs. i was just wearing some pajama shorts and an oversized hoodie, but who even cares, right?

my hair was thrown into a messy bun, and i had one earbud in as my eyes were glued to my phone. i turned the doorknob to the garage carefully before stepping in and lifting my head as the music came to a halt.

and with that, my eyes widened.

and that's how we got here. with a finger pointed to my face.

"the fuck is he doing here?" my voice boomed in the garage, causing nathan to flinch slightly.

"woah, you two know each other?"

"sort of." chris responded with that stupid, smug smirk on his face.

"not at all, actually." i immediately barked back, crossing my arms.

nate looked between us both and shrugged it off quickly before he pulled a chair beside him. "come listen, y/n. i think you'd like it a lot." he told me.

i couldn't say no. i really was curious to hear nathan play. "okay, sure. just for a bit though." i reminded him of the time, and he smiled brightly and sat down in his seat.

i felt chris' eyes burning into the back of my head the whole time, his shaggy brunette locks perfectly draping over his forehead, which was a bit damp, while his eyes shifted to focus on his guitar again.

nate turned to me with a bright smile, grabbing his drumsticks as he glanced to the other two, making sure they were ready.

i watched the three and smiled as they began playing.

they were really good, actually.

better than i had expected them to be.

with nathan slamming the drums with his drumsticks and the boy i didn't know yet playing the bass, chris actually knocked his part out of the park.

chris glanced up for half a second, where we locked eyes. my eyes widened as he turned back to his guitar and a small smile grew on his face.

i hate this kid.

the song came to an end, and i turned to nathan, applauding happily.

"you guys sound great, genuinely. have you guys worked on any original stuff?"

nathan chuckled and shrugged, glancing between the other two. "a bit. chris writes phenomenal lyrics. we're working on it."

i glanced to chris for a moment, who was now gently strumming the strings of his guitar. i gulped as i stared at his hands, then turned back to nate. "i'm excited for you guys. let me know if i can do anything to help?"

nate nodded happily, and i stood up.

"alright, i'm gonna try and go to sleep. good luck to you guys." i waved at the three, and smiled at nate, my eyes quickly glancing at chris who waved softly back, no clear expression on his face anymore.

and with that, i opened the garage door and shut it, before taking a deep sigh and leaning against it.

"dude, you didn't tell me your sister was bad as hell," an unfamiliar voice rang, which i assumed was the bassist.

"wh- ben, gross! shut up dude," nathan quickly stated.

i cringed at the boy's comment, shaking my head quickly as if he could see me responding or something.

"invite her more often." chris stated blankly, standing up from his seat as he adjusted his guitar strap.

nathan turned to chris and narrowed his eyes.

i quickly stood up and made my way back to my bedroom, laying flat against the bed and turning up the music playing in my earbuds.

chris playing guitar and writing some lyrics.

it made me genuinely curious about whether or not this guy actually wrote good lyrics.

i hated being curious about him.

but i needed to know more.

masterlist ⚜ p2

comment to be added to taglist!! taglist;; @sturnioloshacker

[yurimother]

Yuri Anime Review - Whisper Me a Love Song Series Premiere

A delightful school romance that captures unfettered joy and attraction

2023 was nothing short of an incredible year for Yuri anime, packed with an astonishing lineup of new offerings, including Yuri Is My Job!, Stardust Telepath, The Vexations of a Shut-In Vampire Princess, I’m in Love with a Villainess, my personal favorite, the runaway success that was The Magical Revolution Of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady and of course the continuation and conclusion of the surprise Yuri sci-fi Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury. Whisper Me a Love Song has the unenviable task of following up and providing a cap on this unprecedented boom of Yuri anime. The adaptation of Eku Takeshima’s high school romance manga was initially announced alongside many of the aforementioned works. However, it ended up being delayed from its initial January debut for various reasons, not the least of which was the switch in directors from Xin Ya Cai to Akira Mano.

Further compounding the pressure on this series is the comparisons it will draw to Bloom Into You, one of the most beloved and well-received Yuri series of all time. Now, these comparisons are mostly unfair, as Bloom Into You had the mighty weight of Kadokawa’s marketing behind it, although, to be fair, Whisper Me a Love Song’s campaign has been no slouch. Moreover, the two series are very different, save for their shared high school setting and Yuri romance. Bloom Into You was a slow-burn romance that leaned into shounen drama, while Whisper Me a Love Song takes a noticeably lighter tone and incorporates more slice of life elements. It does not help that the Whisper Me a Love Song manga debuts the same year that Bloom Into You concluded its serialized run and would go on to replace the latter as the top Yuri series in many audiences’ eyes, and for myself, would go onto fill the same niche of an extended high school romance. All this is to say that the expectations around Whisper Me a Love Song are unreasonably mammoth. However, the anime’s debut episode assured us that we are in for a warm and harmonious display of young love.

The Welcome Concert

The show begins as Himari Kino (Hana Shimano) wakes up for her first day of high school. At a welcome ceremony for new students, she witnesses the light music club band, SSGIRLS, perform their song "Humming Love,” and the temporary lead vocalist, Yori Asanagi (Asami Seto), instantly enchants her. This scene catalyzes the series’ ongoing story and helps highlight some of the most critical aspects and features of this adaptation: the music and the animation. 

Whisper Me a Love Song does not set the world on fire visually, boasting animation that, at its best moments, can be described as “pretty good.” Yet, it does more than a serviceable job, smartly utilizing its resources and clever framing that keeps the viewer’s attention and makes the story easy to follow while saving on animation. There are some flaws, such as stiffer animation during dialogue-heavy scenes and the noticeable use of 3D CGI elements for background characters and objects, like flower petals. However, these do not distract from the narrative nor detract from one’s enjoyment. However there are positives as well to point out here.

For one, the series does a fantastic job with its lighting, applying generous highlights to characters’ faces and hair, enhancing their features, and preventing them from coming across visually as flat or simplistic. The frequent use of a light, soft background that bathes the subjects in a warm glow matches this choice, and they work together in tandem to help convey the anime’s light and happy tone. The anime occasionally employs this lighting to accentuate story beats, such as when Yori peaks through the curtain at the crowd, casting most of her body in shadow as she worries about performing in front of such a large crowd.

This welcome ceremony has noticeably different animation than the rest of the episode. Here, the members of SSGIRLS are injected with an electric sense of movement, playing their instruments with enthusiasm and energy that honestly felt jarring when compared to the more limited shorts of Himari reacting to the performance. Given its importance in the story and the fact that the anime reuses this scene for the opening theme, it is clear why the animation was given more attention and resources. However, and I am likely in the minority here, I actually dislike it for this reason. The heavily referenced footage stands out a bit too much, especially given that it is intercut with more straightforward static shots of Himari, creating a jarring effect that pulls focus away from the characters and their feelings.

The Musical Advantage

Where the series did not disappoint me is musically. In recent years, Yuri works have drawn more and more from musical-themed settings, including Hello, Melancholic!, The Moon on a Rainy Night, and Amongst Us, not to mention the myriad of “Yuri-ish” musical series. However, the apparent disconnect is that manga and webtoons are visual mediums devoid of sound and score. While some titles, such as  After Hours and The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn’t a Guy at All, mitigate this flaw by releasing companion playlists or soundtracks, it is not the same as incorporating the music into the product itself.

Here, Whisper Me a Love Song’s jump to animation truly adds to the experience, elevating it above its source material. Himari’s instantaneous infatuation is so much more believable when we, the viewers, can experience the music alongside her; her “loving” obsession with Yori made that much more real because we also hear the upperclassman’s performance, provided by Kana Sasakura’s wonderful singing voice. Studios Cloud Hearts and Yokohama Animation Laboratory are, of course, aware of music’s central role in the story and have done it justice, giving the fictitious SSGirls multiple chances to shine, not just in the episode itself but also in performing the opening theme, “Follow Your Arrows.”

Returning to the episode, after the welcome ceremony, Himari runs into Yori and begins to fangirl over her, confessing that she “fell in love at first sight.” Yori is stunned by this sudden confession and taken with Himari’s cuteness and openness. After confiding in her bandmates, she realizes that she has fallen in love, much to the other’s delight.

Supporting Characters Steal the Show

These conversations are excellent, as they give us the chance to get to see more of the series’ other characters. Like the original manga, Whisper Me a Love Song has a terrific supporting cast that adds to the humor and drama. Each of the other characters has a striking, unique design and personality that helps them stand out, like the drummer Mari, who is slightly more stoic and comes from a wealthy family. She is contrasted well by the playing keyboardist, Kaori, who often flirts and teases Mari. Siblings Miki and Aki act as the best friends of the lead characters, usually providing them guidance and encouragement. Each girl excels on screen thanks to some stand-out writing and performance. While each is different from the others,, they all have one unifying characteristic: their encouragement and excitement for Yori and Himari, which is infection, making us want to root for them, too. The lone exception is Aki, who herself harbors feelings for Yori, which will come into play in future episodes.

I like these supporting characters even more than I did in the manga, thanks in no small part to Minami Yoshida's fantastic work adapting Eku Takeshima’s characters to the screen. They capture each character perfectly; Himari is cute, ditzy, and full of adoring exuberance. Yori’s appearance portrays her as cool and elegant, but her movements and posture help convey her more anxious and apprehensive nature. And, of course, each of their friends is striking and memorable, and their depiction matches their personality. For example, Mari is prim and proper, weaning her uniform and hair unadulterated from modification and maintaining a hardened, no-nonsense expression. However, Kaori has a more rounded, goofier face, complete with a dopey smile and a bright yellow hoodie, betraying her more playful personality.

Rooftop Romances

The episode's high points come in its second half, two scenes on the rooftop with Himari and Yori alone. The first begins with Yori singing as she thinks about Himari and her confusing feelings for her, while unbeknownst to Yori, Himari walks upstairs thinking about Yori’s singing. It is an excellent reflection of the central conflict these two will face in their upcoming “romance,” the fact that their feelings of love for each other are different, with Yori’s being a more mature romantic attraction and Himari’s a child-like obsession for the older girl’s singing.

Put plainly, it is beautiful, showcasing the best singing we hear from Yori, a light, melodic hum, and some of the best emotional work of the episode as she makes sense of her feelings. Unfortunately, this scene also showcases Whisper Me a Love Song’s weakest aspect, its pacing.

The rhythm of the manga was already a frustrating issue, as it both fussed about with little for extended stretches and introduced and resolved conflicts with little time for rumination or exploration. This issue is only exacerbated by the anime’s truncated story. The first episode alone covers two and a half chapters of the manga and sees Yori change her emotional state about a half dozen times, first being anxious about singing, then confused by her feelings for Himari, then realizing she might be in love, confessing that love, feeling the embarrassment of her misunderstanding, and at last confirming that she is in love with Himari and vowing to make the other girl recognize and reciprocate her feelings. It is less of an emotional rollercoaster and more of a rapid, rambling barrage of issues and feelings that have no time to breathe or create any real impact in the story. I wished they had spent a few episodes playing out this arc, letting Yori slowly come to terms with these new feelings of love for Himari and working to overcome her trepidation surrounding them.

After plotting with her friends how to make Himari fall for her, the episode ends as Yori walks up to the roof to find Himari already waiting for her, a nice flip on the previous rooftop scene. There, Himari requests Yori sing for her, which she does. It is an exceptional sequence. The characters' feelings and differing attractions for each other come across so clearly. Himari is so visibly excited to hear Yori sing, and the older girl has such a wonderful mix of cool and collected affection and awkwardness that you cannot help but smile while watching it. Both girls have such a warm, gentle, and loving disposition, perfectly matched by the soft orange sky and quiet, empty rooftop. As Yori sings, the perspective shifts and employs some scenic Yuri, focusing on the sky and indirect views of each character until finally settling back on Himari’s blushing, glowing face from Yori’s perspective, a perfect encapsulation of the adoring girl that she has fallen in love with.

Conclusion

I am so happy with Whisper Me a Love Song. The anime did everything it needed to, from maintaining the manga’s fun, light tone of young love to adding excellent music that helps you understand how these characters became drawn to one another. It has flaws, with middling animation quality and an unfortunate dedication to the poor pacing and speed of the manga. Nevertheless, these do not distract from an overall adorable and fun experience. Most importantly, the anime nails the excitement, affectionate, and intense joyfulness of its two characters and their love for each other. I cannot wait to enjoy every second of their relationship and confidently declare that this Yuri series is an easy recommendation, untainted by the usual list of qualifications or warnings I am usually required to make. Whisper Me a Love Song is just a sweet, simple, and delightful school romance that you should absolutely watch. 

Ratings: Story – 8 Characters – 10 Art – 6 LGBTQ – 9 Sexual Content – 0 Music – 7 Final – 8

You can stream Whisper Me a Love Song with English subtitles on HIDIVE.

This review is made possible by Avery Riehl and the rest of the YuriMother Patrons. Support the Patreon today for early access, exclusive content, and to help fund LGBTQ+ content.

[midnights-dragon]

In case anyone is having a bad night

(The best of this post and its reblogs, but with links that work)

Here is a website where you can scroll down to all the different levels of the ocean 

Here is a website where you can see the future of the universe

Here is a website where you can press a ‘make everything okay’ button, over and over, until things really are okay

Here is a website that you can read if you feel like a burden

Here is a website where you can look at strobe illusions (TW strobe/flashing)

Here is a website where you can cut stuff up (TW blood/sh)

Here and here are websites where you can play with sand

Here is a website where you can draw with macaroni and other fun foods

Here is a website where you can paint someone’s nails

Here is a website where you can grow a garden with emojis

Here is a website with hundreds of videos of people hugging you (rightfully dubbed ‘the nicest place on the internet’ because it really is, y’all, it made me cry)

Here is a website that will take you to other useless websites

Here is a website where you can make a tiny cat play bongo drums (and other instruments!)

Here is a website to help give you gentle reminders <3

Here is a website where you can grow a tiny farm

Here is a website where you can take a bunch of scientific personality tests

Here is a website of calm rain noise

Take a breath. It’s going to be okay, I promise.

[slut4thebroken]

Favorite Toy

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Jonathan Crane x dom!reader

Summary | Jon just can’t control himself when it comes to you, but you always make sure he cleans up after himself when you’re finished.

Warnings | 18+, smut, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, degradation, praise, objectification, cream pie, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, come eating, he’s a whore but he’s our whore, dom!reader is so mean and we love it, fluff, aftercare, sub space, a lil bit of soft dom!reader at the end

Words | 2.8 k

Notes | I don’t remember what I saw that inspired me to write this but… god bless whatever that was 🙏🏻 I might edit this again later lol

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

“Oh god- please.” He moaned into the kiss, grabbing your hips tightly. You continued grinding on him and pulling his hair, not responding to his plea yet. “Please… fuck.” 

Mostly for your own sake rather than his, you relented. You removed his clothes and your own quickly, then placed your hands on his chest as you kneeled over his hips. He let out a choked moan when you sunk down on his cock and you bit your lip to keep your sounds to a minimum. You stared down at him, admiring his flushed cheeks and red lips that were wet from the kiss. 

“That feel good?” 

“Yes— oh god, yes. Please,” He said through a breath, whimpering and trying to grind his hips up into you. 

You lifted your hips slowly, then lowered them just as slow. After only two more thrusts, his eyes squeezed shut and he threw his head back with a low moan, making you freeze. You could feel his cock twitching inside of you and the heat of his come against your walls. 

“Hnngh- no.. no, please.” He whimpered, trying to get the stimulation back. 

“Did you just fucking come?” You asked, almost in disbelief, once his body sagged into the bed and he started panting as he calmed down. 

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry, I— Normally I can last longer.” He defended, cheeks burning even redder now. “I- I can eat you out? To make you come. Please?” You let out a loud laugh, making his brows furrow. 

“Oh, angel… you don’t think we’re done do you?”  

“W-” Before he could even get the word out, you were continuing, fucking yourself on his length, making him choke out moans and whimpers. “Fuck— fuck, wait… Please,”

“Save it. If you didn’t want to be overstimulated, you shouldn’t have come only a few seconds after getting this pathetic fucking dick in my cunt.” You spat, making him groan. “I don’t care if it’s too much. I’m going to fuck myself with my dildo until I come and you’re going to thank me for using you instead of my other toys.” 

“Fuck,” He gasped out, fingers gripping your hips hard enough to bruise, but not controlling your movements. “Oh god— thank you.” He whimpered, face scrunched up in painful pleasure. 

“I’m not convinced. Should I go get another toy?” 

“No! No- I’m sorry. Thank you— Thank you for using me.” He cried, staring up at you with wide, pleading eyes. 

“That’s more like it.” You cupped his cheek, running your thumb over his swollen lips, then suddenly jerked your hand back and smacked him across the face. His head turned from the impact as a loud moan escaped his lips. 

“I can’t believe you fuck like a goddamn virgin.” You spat, wrapping your hand around his neck and squeezing. “Is my pussy too much for you, baby? Can you not take it?” You cooed mockingly, making him whine. 

“N-no I… I can take it. Please, I can take it, I promise.” He whimpered, eyes welling with tears of desperation and overstimulation. 

“Hm… I guess we’ll see then, won’t we?” Your hips started more of a rocking motion as you leaned back up, releasing his neck to steady yourself with a hand on the headboard. “Well don’t just lay there like a fucking pillow princess. Rub my clit, play with my nipples, do something.” 

“Sorry— I’m sorry.” He decided to do both, one hand reaching down to rub firm circles over your clit and the other rolling your nipple between his fingers. When that wasn’t enough he snaked his hand around to your back and pulled you down, his head meeting halfway so he could suck your nipple into his mouth. 

“Good boy.” He whimpered against you, then kissed his way to the other one to give it the same treatment. “This is why you’re my favorite toy, baby. You do exactly what your purpose is— make me feel good. Sure you can get a little eager and come embarrassingly fast but the pros definitely outweigh the cons.” He whined at the subtle degradation, but you could feel his cock twitch against your walls. 

“Don’t tell me you’re about to come again?” You scoffed in mock disbelief, making him lean up even more so he could bury his face in the crook of your neck and trail kisses across it. “Awe, honey… Are you getting a little shy?” You cooed, running your fingers through his hair. “Don’t be. I think it’s cute— reminds me of how desperate I can make you.” You chuckled, making him whine. 

“Go ahead then. Make another fucking mess— but just know, you will be cleaning it up later.” He let out a strangled whimper as his whole body stiffened, then started twitching and spasming. “There you go, just get it all out, darling.” You cradled his head and slowed your hips to a stop when his orgasm finally faded. “You make the cutest little whimpers when you come.” His cock twitched inside you again, making him release a pained whine. 

“But let’s see now… That was two orgasms for you, and how many for me again? Oh that’s right. Zero. All because you’re a greedy little slut who can't wait longer than a few minutes before coming.” You spat, roughly pulling on his hair to move him away from your body so you could see him. “Fucking pathetic. First I have to do all the work, then you can’t even make me come.” 

“No- no… ‘m sorry.” He mumbled. Of course he’s already worn out before you’ve even started. 

“God— look at you.” You took his cheeks in one hand and turned his face side to side, examining him. “So fucked out already. You getting tired, baby?” 

“No… ‘m awake.” 

“If you’re not, you will be soon.” You started riding him again, chasing your own orgasm now. You threw your head back with a low groan, listening to his pained moans and whimpers. “I can’t believe a cock this good is attached to a pathetic little boy who can’t control himself. It’s a shame really.” He let out a choked sob and despite the fact that he was all but begging you to stop, he still continued rubbing your clit, bringing you closer to the edge. 

“But it’s okay. I know how to handle bitches like you; just ignore them. Let them whine and beg and tire themselves out until you have a pliant, fucked out toy. I can tell you’re almost there, baby. Just let go.” He whined and squirmed, tears of humiliation and overstimulation brimming in his eyes, making the pale blue all the more beautiful. “I know all you want is to be my good boy, so just let go.” You whispered, gaze trailing all over his face, from his flushed cheeks to his red, swollen lips. “You can do it, angel. I’m right here— I got you. Just let go for me.” He let out one last pathetic whimper as a tear rolled down his temple into his hair. His bottom lip was trembling now and you leaned down to give him a soft kiss. 

“There you go. I’m so proud of you, honey. Just let me make us both feel good, yeah?” He bit his lip and nodded slowly, making the corners of your lips turn up. 

“Think you can come one more time?” He whimpered and averted his gaze, and for a second you almost thought he was about to say no or the safe word. 

“Yes.” He whispered instead, making your heart flutter. 

“Good boy. You’re so good for me.” You cupped his face, running your thumb over his cheek bone. “I know you can’t help it, baby. It makes me feel so good though, knowing how much you like it.” 

“‘m sorry.” He whimpered. 

“I know, angel. It’s okay. Make me come and I’ll forgive you, okay?” He nodded and you gave him a warm smile in return. Your breath caught in your throat and your hips stuttered when he rubbed your clit faster and harder. “That’s it.” You said through a breath. “Just like that.” 

You could feel yourself nearing the edge, so you forced yourself to continue even though your legs were starting to burn. When his pained moans turned into desperate whimpers, you knew he was close too. Trailing a hand down his chest, you brushed your fingers over his nipple, then pinched lightly, making his back arch into your touch as he let out a choked moan. 

“Oh god—“ He whined, more tears falling. “Fuck, I- I’m close…” He whispered. 

“Yeah? Keep it up, angel— doing so good for me, I’m almost there.” 

“God- it hurts.” He whimpered, body conflicted on whether it wanted more or less of the stimulation. You released his nipple and slowed into a rocking motion, making him whine. 

“What’s your color?” You asked softly, just wanting to be sure. His brows furrowed as his hips squirmed under yours. 

“Green…” He muttered, cheeks flushing. You brushed his hair out of his face a little more and he closed his eyes at the gentle touch. 

“Tell me the second it changes, okay?” 

“I will.” You could tell he was getting needy again after being so close to another orgasm. You suddenly picked up the pace and started bouncing up and down, making him throw his head back with a strangled moan. When you rested your hands on his chest for extra support, his free hand shot up to hold your arm, so you grabbed his hand and intertwined your fingers before pinning it to the bed. 

“Please.. Want you to come.” He whined, rubbing your clit impossibly faster. 

“I will, baby. Almost there.” You said through a breath. He stared up at you with half lidded, glossy eyes, his lips parted in a silent moan as his chest heaved. “You look so perfect like this.” You whispered, making his already flushed cheeks turn even redder. “My pretty boy.” He whined and gripped your hand tighter in response. 

If the feeling of hot come hitting your walls wasn’t enough of an indication, his eyes squeezing shut and the long, strangled whine he let out made it obvious. His fingers on your clit faltered, but quickly picked up again once his orgasm started to fade. 

While part of you wanted to edge yourself and keep torturing him, you couldn’t hold back at the sound of his pained whimpers, so you let yourself fall over the edge. It was hard to keep up the movement of your hips through your orgasm, but he maintained steady pressure on your clit, letting you ride it out. 

“Fuck, good boy.” You groaned, dragging your nails down his chest as your other hand tightened around his. His breath hitched at the sting, but you could feel his cock twitch nonetheless. You panted as you calmed down, needing to bat his hand away from your clit once you got too sensitive. 

“Ready to clean up your mess?” You asked, still breathless. He nodded, staring up at you with wide eyes, wincing when you lifted yourself off his softening cock. You moved quickly, shuffling up his body until your legs were on either side of his head. “Every drop, okay?” He nodded again, then eagerly wrapped his arms around your thighs and pulled you down onto his face. He focused mostly on your hole, licking up your shared arousal and fucking his tongue inside you. When you pulled back, he whined and looked up at you, wondering why you made him stop. You reached down and scooped up some of his come, then sucked it off your finger, making his lips part as his eyes widened. 

“Tastes good. Want some?” You asked, even though he was already tasting it. He nodded dumbly and you scooped up some more then put it in your mouth and grabbed his cheeks to keep his mouth open as you leaned over him. He let out a choked moan when you spit his come into his mouth and you could practically feel how warm his cheeks were getting under your hand. 

“Swallow.” He whined and averted his gaze, but did what you said. “Good boy.” You lightly hit his cheek then got back into position over his face. He picked up where he left off eagerly and you placed a hand in his hair to hold him against you. Your legs were starting to shake and you desperately needed to stretch your knees, but you didn’t want to stop— not yet. 

“Enjoying yourself?” He moaned in agreement, making your hips buck against his face. “Yeah I bet you are. Fucking filthy— lapping up your own come from my pussy like a fucking dog.” He whined and looked up at you with furrowed brows, his eyes becoming glossy with tears. “Isn’t that right, puppy?” The new pet name had him working even more enthusiastically, sucking and licking the come out of you and occasionally giving your clit some attention. 

Originally you weren’t planning on coming again, you were just going to have him clean up his mess and that was it. But you forgot how talented he is with his mouth… 

“You want me to come on your face?” He released a muffled “yes!” against you, not bothering to pull away just to speak. You suddenly lifted yourself off of him and laid down to give your legs a break, making him look at you like a kicked puppy. “Get to it then.” You said, gesturing to your lower half. He quickly got up and settled between your legs, wrapping his arms around your thighs to hold you as he continued. You sighed and reached down to pet his hair, not yet grabbing it, much to his dismay. You moaned lowly and his eyes snapped up to your face. 

“At least you don’t eat pussy like a virgin.” You smirked, watching him avert his gaze. “Don’t be embarrassed, honey, it was a compliment.” It wasn’t really a compliment though, which he seemed to pick up on. 

The sound of him slurping up your shared arousal was loud compared to your stifled moans and you let your eyes fall shut as you focused on your impending orgasm. When he started whimpering and whining though, you opened your eyes again, finding his hips grinding against the bed. 

“Greedy fucking slut. Trying to come again?” He whined and looked up at you with furrowed brows. You could tell he was trying to stop the movement of his hips. “If you like the taste of your own come this much, maybe I shouldn’t let you come inside me anymore. Maybe I’ll just have you come in a cup so you can drink it instead.” He released a muffled whine as a protest. 

“How about this, you make me come in the next 30 seconds, and I’ll let you keep coming inside. Sound fair?” He nodded enthusiastically, making you smirk. “Alright. Clock starts now.” The only reason you gave him this challenge was because you’re already close. You like having him come inside just as much as he does and you’re too hedonistic to deny yourself that pleasure.

He ate you out desperately, bringing you closer and closer to the edge, and you didn’t even bother with counting because you knew you were only seconds away from your orgasm. Tightening your grip on his hair, you pushed him into your cunt, making him whimper. Finally you fell over the edge, letting out a low moan and grinding on his face as you held him close enough to suffocate him. But he didn’t even attempt to protest, not when you were literally coming on his face. Once your orgasm finally started to fade, you pulled him away, making him whine. 

“C’mere, pretty boy.” You said softly. He crawled up the bed and laid by your side even though most of his body was on yours anyway. You grabbed a tissue from the nightstand and wiped his face before letting him lay on your chest. “Such a good boy. Made me feel so good.” You cooed and he snuggled into your chest even more as he hugged your torso. You ran your fingers through his hair and he let out a satisfied hum. 

“How are you feeling, honey?”  

“Good. Deep.” He mumbled. The first time he said that, you didn’t realize that he meant deep into sub space and he had a hard time getting the words out to explain. But now you know that it’s as close as he can get to giving you a heads up about the way he’s feeling. 

“Tired?” He hummed in agreement. “Me too.” The exhaustion hit you full force once your orgasm finished and you were just laying down.

“I love you.” He mumbled sleepily, making the corners of your lips turn up as your heart fluttered. You pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head before responding. 

“I love you too, angel.” 

Taglist

@scarecrow-jon-babe @quietnymph11 @obsessiveimpulses

[hearts4golbach]

Peanut-Butter and Pickles.

Colby Brock x Pregnant!Reader.

The early morning sun seeped in through the mostly closed blinds. i rubbed the sleepiness out of my eyes before resting a hand on my stomach with the other reaching for my phone. i heard the shower sputter to a start. the walls were so thin in this house, i thought to myself as i shakily stood up. i trotted into the bathroom, knocking twice before entering.

colby peeked out from behind the curtain. "Hey, baby. how are you feeling?" his soft tone slightly echoed throughout the bathroom.

"im good," i placed a kiss on his cheek. "Mind if i join you?"

"Anything to save water." he joked, "of course."

i laughed quietly before stripping and getting in with him. one hand laid gently on my stomach. he ran his thumb in circles soothingly. "She's due in about a month." i said, placing my hand over his.

"Oh, i know." he replied matter-of-factly. "i can't wait."

i hummed, my hands intertwining with his. "me either."

colby washed my body, his calloused hands running over every part of my body gently. he took extra care of my stomach, peppering it in kisses and whispering sweet things to our unborn little girl. he kissed my lips passionately, whispering 'i love you's against my lips. i couldnt help but smile, wrapping my arms around his neck as he hugged me.

i got out, letting his finish washing himself, as he insisted. i stayed in the bathroom, doing my skincare while waiting for him to finish up. a twinge of hunger hit me, but not quite what i was expecting. "colbs, do we have peanut butter and pickles?"

he hesitated, "uh, im not too sure. we havent gone grocery shopping in a while."

"shit," i mumbled.

"why, whats up?" he turned off the water and stepped out, "cravings?"

i sighed, "yeah. honestly, i find them annoying."

"Then, let's go to the store." he offered. "it should be open by now."

"really? this early?" i paused, "and, dont you have to focus on editing today?"

his hand met my waist as he kissed my cheek, "That can wait. I'll just stay up later."

"If you're sure," i smiled.

we walked down the aisles, getting our usual items for the house, as well as looking for new things to try.

whenever we had turned the corner and saw peanut butter sitting on the shelf, i felt as if i could start drooling.

i walked my happy ass over to the shelf and grabbed our favorite brand. "is this one okay?"

"Of course," colby laughed, "that's the one we always get, anyway." he pushed the cart closer to me before i tossed it in.

he picked out a couple more things before we went to the cold section. we chose 2 different types of pickles, the dill pickles, and we decided to try the sweet and spicy ones, too.

i rushed him out of the store, far too excited to get home. colby held a small smile on his face the whole time.

walking into the kitchen, colby asked me, "So, what exactly are you thinking?"

"Well, it's just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. but instead of jelly, it's pickles." i explained as i put up groceries.

"Easy, I'll make it for you." he rubbed my arms, "Go sit down. I'll get the groceries."

"no, oh my god. i dont want you doing all the work." i leaned against the counter, protesting his request.

"y/n, you're carrying my baby that's due in a month. im gonna take away as much stress as i can." his eyebrows furrowed together.

"It's not that big of a deal, babe." i shrugged, "but I'll go sit."

he thanked me before getting to work on the sandwich. i turned on our favorite tv show and patiently waited for him to come join me in the living room. only moments later, Colby walked into the room with two plates. one containing a normal peanut butter and jelly while the other had peanut butter and pickles.

i was extra emotional, seeing as my hormones were going crazy. “oh my god, i love you so much.” i said, nearly choking back tears.

he kissed my forehead, placing the plate in my lap. “i love you so much more.”

[itsclydebitches]

Zevlor: An Angsty Character Analysis

Hey, Zevlor simps. Can I interest anyone in 4,000 words about our favorite disaster tiefling? 💀

“We can’t stay, but we’ll be slaughtered if we leave—we’re no fighters.”

Back during my first play-through this is the line that turned Zevlor from another dime-a-dozen, exposition spouting NPC to a character I was legitimately interested in. “We’re no fighters.” My DnD ignorance abounds, but even I could see that wasn’t an accurate statement. Here’s a mountain of a man sporting fancier armor than my level 2 Tav knows exists yet, having wrecked half the goblin hoard with his crossbow and, if you let him, he'll happily turn to punching as a solution to verbal disagreements. Plus, he’s clearly the one giving the orders, so what do you mean you’re not a fighter?

Having explored the Grove a bit I chalked it up to a generalized assessment of the refugees as a whole. They’re mostly kids, civilians, and would-be protectors who only look the part of fighters in cobbled-together armor. One woman is grappling with the guilt of killing someone for the first time, even an enemy. Lakrissa is sure they’re all going to get slaughtered and is willing to put money on that fact. Meanwhile, the couple you meet are more concerned with what pet they’ll get when they somehow, someway, make it to the city. Don't worry about how that'll happen. You learn later that even those like Ronan are small potatoes compared to most of the baddies you’ll face. On paper he looks and sounds like the real deal—dressed in robes, talking up an apprenticeship with the famous Lorroakan—but scenes like the celebration light show and his own fury at needing to be saved, again, highlight how far he still has to go. The point is that Zevlor is right: these aren’t fighters and he at 18 strength, paladin, former commander, is definitely the exception.

However, BG3 is the sort of detail-heavy game where I’d expect them to include that exception in the dialogue. “We can’t stay, but we’ll be slaughtered if we leave—these people aren’t fighters.” Zevlor’s inclusion of himself in this assessment continued to nag at me and it didn’t start to make sense until I delved into his tag here on tumblr, with more patient players than myself posting everything there is to know about the tiefling. (Thanks, all.) Zevlor is fascinating to me in part because he has this contradictory nature, one example of which is that he’s a very talented fighter who desperately doesn’t want to be a fighter anymore.

…but also he totally does.

We overhear in his dialogue to Tilses that Zevlor is adamant about shedding the titles he’s earned through combat: Hellrider, Commander, Sir. He insists that they’re just civilians now and it’s not like he’s being disingenuous here—note that he introduces himself as just “Zevlor” to Tav. Zevlor means what he says to Tilses and we can see that he’s trying to both reinforce his point and lesson the blow by referring to her as “Tilly.” The nickname is a sweet one, hinting at their close bond in just a single word, reminding her that he’s not saying this to hurt her, he cares for her… but the nickname is simultaneously something he never would have used as her commander. The intimacy meant to comfort is also a hard blow to weather. They're now people who use nicknames inappropriate for the hierarchy of battle.

So Zevlor means what he says here, means it enough that Tilses is convinced and drops her use of “Commander,” but there’s definitely a hint of bitterness in his voice. At least, I’ve always heard it. Zevlor is steadfast in his conviction here, even going so far as to say, “I’m done soldiering, Tilly” when discussing what will come next at Baldur’s Gate. Yet for all of that his tone conveys (understandable) anger and disappointment that it’s come to this. Zevlor doesn’t act like someone who truly wants this change, but rather someone who’s been forced to accept it.

Is it outside forces unwillingly influencing him then? Did Avernus truly change things irrevocably? No, not really. At least, not in the way Zevlor likes to claim. Tilses herself states that being a Hellrider is for life; nothing can take away that title. You lost your post? Your whole city? Most of the people under your protection? Doesn’t matter! You’re a Hellrider forever, no matter the circumstances. I can easily picture a time in Zevlor's life where he would have agreed with Tilses wholeheartedly. They are Hellriders, dammit, and so long as there’s one person looking for their help they will wield that title alongside their blades. And right now, Zevlor has a lot more than just one person in need of his assistance.

So it’s not that Avernus truly stripped them of that identity. Nothing can do that. Zevlor is not rejecting titles and planning retirement because the mechanisms of fate are forcing him to.

He’s doing all that because he’s lost confidence in himself.

Even as someone with a shaky understanding of DnD classes, I love the parallel between a broken oath and the rejection of a lifelong title. If Zevlor can fail in his oath—or in his faith entirely, according to the memories stemming from his pod—why-ever would he think that any other ‘permanent’ part of his identity was worth fighting for? If you can loose the very thing you’ve built your entire life around, every important aspect of yourself, tied to your very soul… what’s a bestowed title compared to that? Zevlor doesn’t believe himself worthy of being a Hellrider anymore, but I think that goes deeper than a string of horrific circumstances making him feel incompetent. As an Oathbreaker, Zevlor likely believes that if he couldn’t uphold that, he can’t uphold anything. Calling himself a Hellrider would be a lie. A fiction. A pathetic, dangerous, insulting fiction at that. It’s like calling yourself the “Hero” while continually failing those around you. Sure, others might insist it’s a title you’ve earned, one you will always carry with you, but you don’t believe them anymore and at a certain point calling yourself that feels worse than embracing the title of “Villain." You don’t want to be the villain… but you want to pretend you’re the hero even less. Pretending is exhausting.

We see this struggle in the many ways that Zevlor fails, or almost fails, to uphold the ideals that originally guided him. I use the term “villain” above deliberately because Zevlor is not merely a former hero-type who’s self confidence has been shattered, or who has been reduced to a civilian, or who thinks themselves useless; he’s actively fighting against temptations that, under less stressful situations, he’d never even consider. I don’t think he is a villain, I think he’s a flawed, struggling victim who sees his own, inevitable mistakes as villainous—and the longer that warped perspective continues the easier it is to fall into bad behaviors. This cycle is perfectly summarized in the autobiography Zevlor keeps by his bed:

“When every passer-by thinks you a thief and a heretic, it is deeply tempting to become one.”

We don’t know if this is Zevlor’s autobiography (as far as I’m aware, anyway) but even if it’s not the words have clearly resonated enough for him to keep them nearby. This particular line paints a pretty clear picture of Zevlor’s struggle. If everyone you meet says you’re devil-kin, vermin, or would-be criminal, isn’t it easier to just give them what they want? If you can’t persuade them otherwise, why put in the effort of trying? If he can’t be Faithful to his God, why have faith in anything at all? If he can’t save these people—setback after setback, mistake after mistake—why is he even making the effort?

Zevlor obviously is trying, very, very hard, which is why such thoughts are merely temptations rather than actual, questionable actions. Still, the Grove gives us numerous examples of the precipice he’s balanced on—and the ways Tav can tip him in one direction or another. You can talk Zevlor down from his anger and get him to acknowledge his disgust in nearly sinking to Aradin’s level. You can also let him boil over and punch the human at a time when the last thing anyone needs is more violence. You can convince Zevlor that there are peaceful ways of stopping Kagha's ritual, or you can help him in pursuing the darker temptation to kill her. It’s a “low” thought, but at his own admission he hasn’t been above entertaining it. Zevlor’s requests for help, though always polite and humble, carry a spark of manipulation in them too. He’s not above leveraging your previously selfless good deed to his advantage—"She owes you for saving this grove"—and if you approach him before speaking with Kagha he’ll claim that the ritual will “be trouble—for all of us.” Except, no? Not really? Tav can make it clear that they’re just here for a healer, they’re only passing through, and as a fighter they are not beholden to the Grove’s sanctuary as the teiflings are. It’s not trouble for everyone involved, yet Zevlor frames it as such in the hopes that (unnecessary) self-interest may motivate you if selflessness fails. Finally, if Zevlor dies in your play-through and you use Speak the Dead on him, he will admit to having “plenty” of secrets, none of which he’ll share. Admittedly, this may be the result of cut content, specifically a story-line in which Zevlor knowingly betrays the tieflings rather than being tricked by the Absolute. Still, the game as it stands is the story we have and within it we’re given a man who is both fighting against these dark urges (ha) and has a past riddled with secrets. If Zevlor is anything, it’s blunt when it comes to his own failings, accurate and otherwise. So how terrible must these secrets be that he outright refuses to divulge them when, generally speaking, most corpses speak freely in death?

However, out of all of this the struggle I’m most intrigued by is the one surrounding the gate. Zevlor represents the tieflings: persecuted refugees, vulnerable civilians, people seeking to survive through cooperation, specifically by joining a community. Kagha represents the druids (or at least a vocal subset of them in Halsin’s absence): bigoted individuals, powerful fighters, people seeking to survive by giving in to their fears, specifically by keeping themselves isolated. This is the moral dichotomy of the Grove and it is symbolized through the gate. Zevlor wants to open it to everyone whereas Kagha wants to close it, permanently.

So isn’t it odd that Zevlor is the one ordering it shut?

When the scene first starts Kanon shouts down that no, he won’t open the gate. Zevlor said that no one is allowed in. Notably, he’s saying this to Aradin and his crew, people that the Grove is at least passingly familiar with, given that Halsin left with them to search the temple. It’s also notable that Zevlor isn’t expecting goblins to attack the Grove. He’s shocked that this is suddenly a problem, brought about by Aradin’s decision—“You lead them here?”— and the entire point of staying at the Grove is that it’s at least comparatively safe. Yes, there have been more attacks lately, but Zevlor seems to be relying on the Grove’s relatively unknown location, as well as the fact that goblins are normally disorganized. The safety is only compromised because Aradin brought a hunting party back, so Zevlor has no reason to expect any visitors, let alone ones that would be a threat.

More importantly, he should welcome such visitors even if he did expect them. After all, that’s precisely what the tieflings are: strangers with no ulterior motives other than to survive. Broadly speaking it makes perfect sense why he'd shut the gates. Zevlor’s first priority is to his people, so anything that keeps them safe is, theoretically, a good thing. But through the lens of his specific characterization and this specific, moral dilemma, it’s an awfully hypocritical decision. Based on everything we’ve seen, our party would not have been welcomed by Zevlor if we’d arrived without danger on our heels and a rescue to endear him to us. So his people should be welcomed, trusted, kept safe, given the benefit of the doubt… but Zevlor isn’t necessarily willing to extend that same trust to others. At the end of the day, he and Kagha want a version of the same thing: safety for those they deem are worthy of it.

It’s precisely these flaws and temptations that make Zevlor such a great character to me, even before he’s tricked by the Absolute. The fandom has leaned hard into Zevlor’s self-loathing and let me tell you, I love it (kisses, hugs, and cookies for you all), but canonically I think he has more reason to fear himself than we tend to portray in the H/C fics. I’m not saying he’s a bad person. Rather, it’s precisely because Zevlor is such a good person that he has the capacity to fall so far. It’s his all-consuming desire to protect his family that leads Zevlor to do and consider so much that a paladin would normally balk at. Denying others the safety you’ve been granted. Subtly manipulating others to do your dirty work. Considering murder.

Zevlor is someone torn between doing the Right Thing and the thing he believes will help those under his care survive. Importantly, when we first meet him he considers these to be two separate courses of action. So can you imagine what goes through his head when he first sees Tav saving everyone and doing so righteously? I think it’s integral to Zevlor’s characterization that the game all but forces you to play the Good Guy in that initial encounter. A cut scene starts, you’re thrown into combat immediately afterwards, and unless you plan to start attacking the Grove members alongside the goblins (which the mechanics discourage through the coloring that distinguishes enemies from allies) you will always finish this fight as Zevlor’s hero. Sure, you can be an asshole afterwards and demand payment. You could already be plotting your betrayal and the slaughter of all the refugees. But in this moment you are nothing but a miracle made flesh in his eyes. Right from the start Tav is succeeding in all the ways Zevlor feels like he's failed. You're the hero.

More specifically, you’re an Every-Man Hero. We might have epic backstories for our Tavs, but within confines of the game you’re largely a nobody when not playing an Origin character. How powerful must that have been to witness then? A total stranger, someone who has no ties to the tieflings or even, depending on your class, any sworn reason to help others, putting their life on the line to save what is most precious to Zevlor? I think a lot about the fact that he never asks Wyll to step in and try to change Kagha’s mind. She owes him just as much as she does Tav—Wyll is an equal participant in that fight and, if your shoddy play style is anything like mine, he likely did more damage—and Wyll is clearly invested in the tiefling’s survival, training the kids as he is. Now, obviously Zevlor’s reticence is largely a question of assigned roles (we need to be the one engaging with Kagha because we’re the protagonist/player) but, like Zevlor’s choice to include himself in the Not a Fighter group, it would have been all too easy to explain this away within the narrative. One comment about how Wyll already tried and failed, or how Kagha doesn’t trust Warlocks, or hell, maybe you don’t meet Wyll in the Grove at all. It’s an easy thing to accomplish and though this is edging more into the realm of headcanon than anything else, I can’t help but think that Wyll isn’t the kind of person that Zevlor could turn to for help right now. Because he’s a folk hero. The Blade of Frontiers, known far and wide for his impressive, selfless deeds. Zevlor is struggling so hard to keep the tieflings safe, tempted by all the unsavory solutions that might achieve that, drowning in self-hatred as his past and current failings catch up with him, wanting nothing more than to be his peoples’ protector:

“I would be a paladin again—with a god’s purpose, a god’s power. Everything I needed to protect my people. And all the while, the cult tortured them. They fought, and ran, and died around me, while I imagined myself their savior.”

Three of the things Zevlor mutters while trapped in the pod are “Hellrider… for… life…,” “Trust… in me…,” and “Children… look away… look at me…” He wants to be the protector, the one children look to for reassurance, he wants his words to Tilly to be a lie and he wants a way to prove that he is a Hellrider for life… but he’s not. At least, Zevlor doesn’t believe it. He lost his titles while Wyll still proudly bears his. Wyll trains the children to fight while Zevlor can only get swept up in anger at them being threatened. The people trust Wyll, adore him, he’s the hero and Zevlor… is not. Not anymore.

It’s too painful to approach Wyll and admit all that. That would be a hell of a blow to Zevlor's pride. But Tav? A stranger? A nobody? The Every-man who had no reason to help or reputation pressuring them, saving them anyway? That’s inspiring. Someone like Tav could be the answer and even, perhaps, the proof that Zevlor could redeem himself. Neither of them are folk heroes, untouchable in their assumed perfection. Tav is a living, breathing example of how the flawed, everyday adventurer can be everything Zevlor strives for.

No wonder he won’t shut up about them in the Shadowlands.

All of this is why it’s so tragic that Zevlor wasn’t given a redemption arc. Sure, you can recruit him for the final battle against the Netherbrain, but there’s no quest to change the cast’s opinion of him—or change Zevlor’s opinion of himself. All his content at the end of Act 2 and Act 3 reinforces that self-hatred.

Let’s make a list, shall we?

Nearly every line of his reunion with Tav has Zevlor painting himself in the worst light possible, from “a lie kinder than the truth” to his refusal to join you because he believes he’ll stab you in the back. You cannot convince him of the Absolute’s manipulation and there’s no response to his belief that such horrors start within the person like, “Of course it does! Because we’re all flawed and equally capable of good and evil deeds! That potential doesn’t make you irredeemable, Zevlor, it makes you mortal!!”

He’s utterly failed as his peoples’ champion and he’s also deemed “unworthy” of being a True Soul. Obviously not being chosen by the Absolute is a good thing, but for a man drowning in self-loathing that’s one hell of a complicated rejection.

Nearly all the tieflings hate him now, all those people he’s been sacrificing his soul to keep safe. I found it particularly devastating that this is one of the rare occasions where nailing a persuasion check doesn’t change the person’s mind. There’s at least one tiefling at Moonrise (I’m drawing a blank on her name) who will believe you when you explain how the Absolute influenced Zevlor, but that doesn’t lead to forgiveness.

Zevlor is deemed unimportant on a literal, narrative level. He is very easy to miss in the pods (I nearly did on my first play-through) and the game does incredibly little to dissuade you from that mistake. Putting aside for a moment that obviously an Origin companion is more significant than a minor NPC, compare this to Shadowheart screaming from her own pod, the game making it abundantly clear that this is someone in need of help—someone worth rescuing. She’ll even say later that you could have run past, more concerned with your own survival and the big picture heroics to bother with her. How must it feel then, if Zevlor ever learns that Tav was there and never stopped for him?

If you do miss Zevlor… oh boy. We’ve probably all seen at least a recording of Orin’s so-called gift. There are plenty of characters who can meet untimely and devastating ends, but very few go through this level of horror. Zevlor—after being held captive, remember—is tortured by God’s Favorite Torturer. He is stripped of his personhood and reduced to a mere “message,” a “pet.” Zevlor is further humiliated in death by being literally stripped of his armor—not just vulnerable in his nakedness, but denied the last symbol of his faith, his status, his power—and it’s always struck me that this is the closest we see to him 'enjoying' an intimate moment, this parody in Orin’s painting. Zevlor is one of the NPC’s most in need of physical comfort and instead he’s forced into this torturous mockery of a sex scene. It also hits hard that when Tav first spots his body the narration says that Zevlor “might almost be sleeping.” Undoubtedly this is a man who isn’t taking good care of himself. He needs a good night’s rest, yet this horrifying trick is all he gets.

As if all this weren’t enough, most of your companion are VERY critical of Zevlor while commenting on his demise. It’s one thing for the tieflings to believe the worst given their ignorance and the fact that they are the ones who suffered from Zevlor’s failure, but your company understands the Absolute and the ways that she gets her hooks in people. Still, Astarion calls him a “wet rag” even if he did deserve better than this. Shadowheart wouldn’t have wished this on him either, but she can’t help but slip in a “no matter his failings.” Lae’zel, often the most blunt, straight up says that he was “always destined to fail his people—and to fail us.” Wyll shakes his head and intones that “even good intentions can lead us down deadly paths.” Only Gale and Karlach stick to mourning the dead rather than airing his shortcomings.

When I spoke to my allies before the final battle Zevlor didn’t have a cut scene. It became clear to me later that this must have been a bug in my play-through, but at the time it only reinforced my feelings that his story was incomplete. Looking on Youtube I’ve found recordings of him saying that he is a Hellrider once more and he would “die a proud man if [he] were to die this day”… but that rings as terribly hollow given where we left him. Last we were together, Zevlor was saying in no uncertain terms that he could not be trusted, he would fail again, he was unworthy of forgiveness. Where did this change of heart come from? It makes perfect sense that he would help Tav in this moment—he begs to be of some use after getting free—but not that he would present himself with such confidence. Within the story as it’s been told this feels… fake. Like Zevlor is putting on a mask to fit the mood of this lively, optimistic party. Which, in turn, gives the “I would die a proud man” line a terrifying implication to me. Does Zevlor expect to die this day? Does he intend to? What would persuade him not to lay down his life here and now? His mission is complete. The tieflings are safe—though not by his hand. There's no hero's welcome waiting for him after this battle. They hate him. He hates himself, and by his own admission the one thing that could still make him proud would be to die at Tav’s side, trying to do one last bit of good. If someone said that to me after everything Zevlor has been through I would keep them far away from the front lines.

(I did, for the record lol.)

I’m not saying anything new then when I go, “Larian, PLEASE add more to his story.” Give us a Zevlor side-quest to renew his oath. Let us invite him to our camp. Something to link the broken man mid-game and the confident fighter at the end so that the latter doesn’t feel like an alarm bell with two legs and a tail. I mean yeah, I get hooked on minor characters so 75% of this is simply me wanting more content of a fave, but I also I do legitimately believe that BG3’s story would benefit from tying up loose ends like this.

Zevlor is a fantastic character, someone who contains an astounding amount of complexity for so little screen time. You have to follow up on that complexity though. If he’s meant to be a purely tragic figure, okay, fine, that’s the ending you get with Orin. But one where he joins you with a smile and reclaims a title he's previously rejected with such fervor requires more work in the middle; a through-line that explains how someone with so much self-loathing learns to think of himself as the hero again.

Because it does all come down to Zevlor’s perception of himself. He was always a hero, flaws and all. He always was and always will be a Hellrider.

The UI knows what's up :)

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

My favorite Conduit Of The Horrors 🩵

Rambles and art stuff under the cut

I love thinking about the primary trio post-nmpd, and there have been some really cool headcanons floating around, and long story short I rewatched Yellow Jacket and I have some ideas in the works. I don't know if this is post-Yellow Jacket or in the middle of it or what, I'm not actually thinking that deep about it I'm just having fun lol. For reasons I needed to have a finalized design for Hannah soooo-

I managed to seriously screw myself over by deciding to try and draw 2 characters I adore that are played by four extremely different looking actors. It was frustrating, but interesting to try and pick out what I thought the most important features of each version was.

So like, for BF Hannah I just used Kendall Nicole as the reference, easy peasy. But aging her up was a bit of a juggle. Eventually I ended up kind of grafting Lauren's expressions onto her face shape, which I also referenced Angela Giarratana for. Just to get that familial connection in there. It really helps that they both have that distinct chiseled chin, it's really fun to draw and fairly easy to replicate. (Side note, Lauren has an incredible ability to suddenly look like a deer in the headlights out of nowhere. The nervous energy that rang through her performance as Hannah was amazing, and I couldn't get over how damn expressive her eyes were)

I was gonna have a more detailed drawing of Ethan in there, because I absolutely love their relationship, but I chickened out. I ended up basically just drawing Joey's version with slightly shorter hair that is longer on one side, like a half-mullet thing. This is partially to try and synthesize the two versions in my head aesthetically, but mostly it's to differentiate him from Pete. Pete is a little difficult too, I actually really like how Nick Lang played him and wanted to incorporate some features from there, but I decided to save it for another day because I was giving myself a headache. Honestly a lot of the stuff is just hair texture, cause one of the most defining traits for their designs in my head was the way their curly hair was styled. But at the same time Joey's current haircut is damn iconic and I love being able to swing it around for the drama Ghibli-style

[dilfartist]

Yandere Librarian Gale Dekarios

TW: Blackmail, stalking, dark themes, yandere themes, mentions of objectification, Gale is kind of a creep, Gale has a small shrine of you, heavy topics, possessiveness.

Reader description; Female/GN

Not proofread/proofread

After a while, life as a professor had begun to bore Gale. Magic is a passion of his and will never not be, but Gale yearned for more. As much as Gale enjoyed the little flashbacks of his childhood from how many accidental fires and ruined rooms at the university occurred; they were beginning to become too much. Gale found solace in silence. Back then, when Gale locked himself in his tower with every second of his life near the end, he enjoyed the stillness of his room, book in hand. So when the local library in Waterdeep required a new librarian on the weekends, Gale immediately decided to fill the role.

Gale had worked there for at least three months to test the waters and see how he felt about the job and his schedule. In that short period, he felt confident and decided to keep his job as a librarian.

Gale memorized each customer's face. Riley, the drow with white hair and pink tips at the ends, enjoyed books on nature, and her cat recently had kittens. Aoth, a human fighter part of the flaming fist, only checked out books on the history of Baldur's Gate training since he was still being trained and wanted to do his job right. Then there was Emily, the dwarf who only had time to visit the library on Tuesdays and didn’t stick around to chat with Gale. Then there was you. You were new around here, not only in the library but Waterdeep in general. Gale had seen you searching the shelves a few times but never had the pleasure of speaking with you. You didn't check out anything anyway. You merely looked through the books and then took your leave.

On one particular day, you decide to check out a book. You sauntered over to the main desk where Gale organized the recently returned books. Gale noticed you and smiled. You greeted each other then Gale took the novel you wanted to check out.

“Ah, I’ve read this a couple of times myself. Never gets old.”

You nod in agreement with a smile. Something about you seemed off. You looked on edge, your eyes avoiding Gales and you being awkward. You left after Gale stamped the first page of your book, informing you that it would need to be returned in two weeks.

You started taking home books more often after the encounter, becoming less awkward with the wizard with each interaction. Until one visit, you gained the courage to ask, “You’re Gale Dekarios, aren’t you?” Gale smiles and nods, “I suppose you’ve heard the tale of how I saved Baulder’s gate or my, uh, former condition.” You nod, “I’ve heard many stories of your amazing abilities or just stories of you in general.” Saying Gale was flattered was a bit of an understatement. From there on you and Gale started to chat. The conversation lasted so long that you had to step to the side for irritated customers to check their books out.

You became a favorite customer of Gale’s, possibly the number one. You came by the library more often, always starting a conversation with Gale that would last a bit too long. Not that Gale minded. Gale enjoyed your presence. Most customers would indulge in small talk for a little while and then awkwardly step away after too long, but you stayed and made great conversation.

Gale found himself feeling the same feeling he had with Mystra, the sick puppy love that caused him to be at her every command. The same love that nearly caused him to blow himself to pieces to have her favor again. However, there was something different. While, yes, Gale’s thoughts when with Mystra were mostly of her, his thoughts were consumed by you. Gale thought of it a bit strange but passed it off as possibly meeting his missing part.

Gale’s obsession deepened when you began when you became distant. Your visits to the library have begun to decline in the usual amount. Gale grew worried but told himself you were simply busy with life. When you finally visited the library to drop off a novel you’d been reading, Gale asked about your whereabouts. You grinned and told Gale of the new guy you’ve been going out with recently. Gale could swear his heart dropped down to the pit of his stomach. His smile faltered, and his skin drained of all color, leaving him pale. Gale played it off somehow, and you left vowing to visit your favorite friend more often. Gale felt so hurt. Even angry. Of course not at you, he felt angered by the man courting you. Besides you probably were being polite- that’s just how you are! If Gale gained the confidence to finally court you, you’d say yes out of politeness, and after a while, he’d show you why you ought to choose him as your eternal lover.

Though Gale isn’t proud of this, he has stalked you and your...lover- or could you even call the man that?! The man is too touchy for Gale's liking. He hates to suggest anything improper but the man’s eyes don’t linger on your face much, more on your body. Gale isn’t like that. He adores every part of you, body and soul.

Gale has impulses sometimes. He wants desperately to sneak off with a thing of yours. Of course, he is horrified by these thoughts. No gentleman acts this way to a lady. Despite the urge to walk over and grab the hair tie that dropped from your wrist and pocket it for himself, maybe even use it on himself to tie his hair. That hasn't stopped him from sneaking away with a quill that fell from your bag that he uses constantly.

When you and your...”lover” decide to date, Gale is more than upset. Gale puts a plan into action to separate you too. Sends a few letters to you in your lover's handwriting calling you names. However, it isn’t random insults but rather insults he’s heard from your lover himself said behind your back. When you confront him about the letters, your lover is only baffled you know what he had said, so he thinks twice before responding, which only makes him look worse.

If that isn’t enough, Gale has other ways. Gale sends notes to his subordinates with blackmail on him and some dirty lies. The ruined reputation causes your lover stress. The stress develops into a short fuse that later causes many fights between the two of you. In the end, you couldn't handle all of the negativity and decided to break off the relationship.

You return to the library with your head hanging low. You attempt to greet Gale without your sorrows peeking through. However, Gale was very observant. He gently asks what’s worrying you. Gale is so comforting with his presence, words, and all. You explain your situation to him, to which he listens attentively.

“Don’t worry, (Name). There are many men out there waiting to be there for you. Keep looking, sometimes true love is in plain sight.”

[sunflower-lilac42]

✧ 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 || flowers au ♔

summary: violet gets salty and posts her best friends showing that she doesn't need the people who were her brothers' friends first

warnings: none, i don't think

notes: this is the last thing i am going to post for flowers (just for a little while i promise). i'm going to work on my quinn fic and then maybe a few other things before coming back. anyways, this is kind of her clapping back at everyone and the start of her replacing people (mostly since they were luca and adam's friends first she realized that she didn't need 'pity' friends) so you're welcome if that is you wanted bc me too (except for luke because he's the best one of them all because even though he was friends with adam and luca first, luke will pick violet over them any day) and also a little fantilli sibling repair because they can't be broken forever. + a little bit of violet reassurance because she needs it from everyone. basically she's doing this because she feels like she doesn't feel like she tells them enough and is in a depressive state right now so... it's kind of like a call for help in a way but very subtle add yourself to the taglist ➵ taglist!

au masterlist | nhl masterlist | main masterlist

messyviolets

liked by ollie.barnes, thomsponjared63, mmcarthy06 and 498,630 others

messyviolets appreciation post 1/5. this week has been hard so i figured i would highlight my favorite people in a thanks for everything they have done for me.

i'm starting with the first friend i ever made when i got to uofi. she has been there for literally everything and i just couldn't be more grateful for her and everything she's done for me. she knows me more than i know myself and just, she's amazing i couldn't wish for a better best friend.

i love you olli

tagged ollie.barnes

view 149,589 comments

ollie.barnes i love you, v! you're are so amazing, you deserve everything, the whole world, the whole universe, literally everything

⤷ messyviolets crying

thompsonjared63 i ain't never seen two pretty best friends- oh wait, yes i have and they're my best friends too

⤷ messyviolets gay

⤷ ollie.barnes gay

⤷ thompsonjared63 right (sort of), but rude

mmcarthy06 i know them!

liked by messyviolets and ollie.barnes

justin.rolland94 we better be getting a post (it's okay, we know you love us anyways)

⤷ messyviolets ...no comment

user01 i feel like these next four posts are either going to be really heartbreaking or really cute

⤷ user02 i feel like we won't be the ones heartbroken

⤷ user03 i think some people are going to get a big wakeup call

user05 you guys are literally the cutest people ever

⤷ ollie.barnes thank you!

⤷ messyviolets you're so sweet!

user06 i think they forgot to save some pretty for us

user07 god really does have favorites

✧༺✎༻∞

messyviolets

liked by justin.rolland94, mmcarthy06, thompsonjared93, and 420,838 others

messyviolets appreciation post 2/5, the main five

following meeting ollie, we met these three weird guys that were moving in across the hallway from us and that led us to millions of memories. jared, mikey, and justin have been through the gutter with us and put up with our shit and i don't know why they haven't left us yet. this group has done some unexplainable things together but we do it together and that's what matters. but thank you for being my big brothers whenever i needed them and thank you for introducing me (and ollie) to the hockey team, doing god's work fr.

tagged mmcarthy06, ollie.barnes, thompsonjared63, justin.rolland94

view 126,251 comments

justin.rolland94 yay! she posted about us. i love you too, v. you're like my twin and i couldn't be more grateful to meet you

⤷ messyviolets i fear i broke him

mmcarthy06 awe v, don't get all sappy on us. i love you too!

⤷ messyviolets i will delete this post

⤷ justin.rolland94 just because mikey's being an ass doesn't mean you have to punish me and thompsonjared63 too

⤷ messyviolets if one of you gets it, you all get it

thompsonjared63 my little sister! thank you for helping me out with my calc homework

⤷ messyviolets i'm younger than you by like two days

⤷ thomsponjared63 two days that i have lived and you haven't

adamfantilli big brothers huh?

⤷ messyviolets don't worry, you and luca.fantilli will always be my favorite brothers

⤷ luca.fantilli and you're our favorite sister

user08 this group is just ahhhhh, she needs to post them more

⤷ mmcarthy06 yeah she does

⤷ justin.rolland94 call her out messyviolets

⤷ messyviolets i'm sorry, i know i do, i still love you

⤷ justin.rolland94 we know v, we're just messing with you

⤷ messyviolets thanks jus

user09 how is she so social?? i feel like she gives off major introvert vibes

user10 violet... give us more boy content. you always seem to find the cute ones

⤷ messyviolets i will get right on that, ma'am

markestapa i think the umich team is need of a post too...

✧༺✎༻∞

messyviolets

liked by nathan.dash, nick7andersen, emmett.joy and 518,142 others

messyviolets appreciation post 3/5, my hockey boys

like i said earlier, i wouldn't have met these guys without jared, mikey, and just. these boys are my found family, they are literally everything to me. they would do everything and anything for me and they are so supportive of me and everything i do which isn't common to come by these days. thank you for staying up late to study for my psych exam for me, thank you for going to late night mcdonald's runs with me, thank you for picking me up from parties, thank you for crying with me when i couldn't bare to be by myself, thank you for helping me through tough times, thank you for everything

tagged drakenilescox, a.varrassi22, aleklleskaj17, emmett.joy, nick7andersen, aidan.taylor10, justin.rolland94, mmcarthy06, thompsonjared63

view 155,443 comments

nathan.dash you're going to make me cry, v

⤷ messyviolets no don't cry!

⤷ nathan.dash we'll always be there for you, just call when you need us. love you

⤷ messyviolets love you too

aidan.taylor10 violet, i know what you're thinking. stop it

⤷ messyviolets i can't help it, aidan. i love you

⤷ aidan.taylor10 i love you

nick7andersen you don't need to say thank you, v. we do that because we want too

⤷ messyviolets ...i know

⤷ nick7andersen mhmm, love you v

⤷ messyviolets love you too, nicky

drakenilescox i'm commenting so when you see the notification you can laugh at my last name like you always do

⤷ messyviolets thank you, dray. i needed that

⤷ drakenilescox don't thank me... thank my dad. i love you violet (and stop it. i know what you're doing)

⤷ messyviolets i love you too (and i'm trying)

alexlleskaj17 we'll do everything for you, even if it's performing at one of your recitals

⤷ messyviolets omg i forgot about that! thank you guys for that, you were amazing

⤷ alexlleskaj17 and we would do it again, love you v

⤷ mesyviolets love you alex

a.varrassi22 like you said, you know we'll be there for you anytime you need, you're our little sister. i love you

⤷ messyviolets now you're going ot make me cry, anthony. i love you too

edwards.73 i thought you said you weren't replacing us

⤷ messyviolets sorry, didn't know i needed permission to have new friends. and i didn't know i had to listen to what you wanted me to do

⤷ markestapa that's not what he's saying, v

⤷ messyviolets i don't need my brothers' pity friends, but thank you

⤷ rutgermcgroaty v, we're your friends too

⤷ messyviolets are you though? or are you just friends with me becuase of adam and luca...?

⤷ user11 you dropped this 👑 messyviolets

⤷ messyviolets oh, thank you, love!

markestapa what's gotten into you

⤷ messyviolets not you apparently

⤷ _connorbedard oh shit

⤷ user12 shit just got real

user13 violets speaking out and i am loving it

⤷ user14 frrrrr, the tea is piping hot

user14 queen violet is talking her shit

✧༺✎༻∞

liked by lhughes_06, colecaufield, jackhughes, and 591,205

messyviolets 4/5 appreciation posts, my best friends

i know i say i have a lot of best friends, but truly, cole and luke are the best ones i have ever had (i'm sorry). these two have been the most supportive people in my life and it's making me cry to even write this. they have always seen me for who i truly am unlike others and it just makes me so happy to finally be seen for who i am and not who i remind them of

luke, when i first met you i couldn't help but call you a sunflower. you make the room light up wherever you go and everyone is always so much happier when you're around. i remember jack texting me to tell me how excited he was that you were going to be in jersey with him and he was going to be able to play in the nhl with his little brother. you have done so much for me and i couldn't be more happy to call you my best friend. thank you once again for seeing me as violet and violet only.

cole, i don't see you that often and that breaks my heart. when i met you at the lake house i was immediately drawn to you. i wish we could see each other more often so hopefully when the hawks play the canadiens i can come see you! i miss you so much. thank you for always making sure that i am okay whether it's a call once a week or even a text before you play a game. thank you again for making sure that you see me as me and not someone's sister.

you guys are the best and i wouldn't be where i am without you, love you guys so much

tagged colecaufield, lhughes_06

view 177,362 comments

colecaufield violet, what's wiht you and making people cry today. i love you so much and i miss you, you better come to a game soon

⤷ messyviolets i'll try my hardest, coley! love you

lhughes_06 violet, you are the most amazing person. i would choose you every day and any day over anyone and everyone. if anyone should be saying thank you it should be me. thank you for everything you have done for me, supporting me through my rookie season, through break ups, through class, everything. i love you violet, can't wait to see you

⤷ messyviolets uncalled for, lukey. this is my appreciation post for you

⤷ lhughes_06 i know you need the reassurance sometimes and i know what you're trying to do, don't do it, violet.

⤷ messyviolets you guys know me too well. thank you lukey, love you so much

markestapa so they get a post but we don't... didn't you meet them from adam and luca too

⤷ colecaufield look dude, if you're that mad about violet not being close friends with you anymore, so much so that you have to talk crap to her, then maybe you should move on and get over your crush

liked by messyviolets, _connorbedard, lhughes_06 and 17,982 others

user15 they are so cute... i love their friendship. it warms my heart

user16 i'm literally going to cry, cole standing up for her is the best thing ever

user17 mark's getting it and i'm here for it, he's a complete ass

⤷ user18 if anyone comes at violet for defending herself we're gonna through some hands

jackhughes thank you for taking care of him, v

⤷ messyviolets jacky, it's nothing

⤷ _quinnhughes it is though, v. you're his best friend and you make him happy. you are the best person ever, we love you too

trevorzegras keep doing you v, we all love you and support you

liked by messyviolets

✧༺✎༻∞

messyviolets

liked by _connorbedard, lukasreichel44, kevinkorchinski, and 629,175 others

messyviolets 5/5 appreciation post, the best for last, my hawks

after i met connor he introduced me to kevin and lukas and i couldn't be more grateful for that. the four of us have done so much together for only knowing each other for two months.

kevin and lukas are more of my brothers from another mother becuase i have so many at this point. we truly are just an iconic trio (or group when connor decides to actually join us for pictures)

connor, you're connor. you're amazing and thank you for everything, no words needed

tagged lukasreichel44, kevinkorchinski, _connorbedard

view 207,753 comments

lukasreichel44 oh yeah, we made it again boys. we are her favorites, i'm calling it

⤷ messyviolets don't expose me lukas

⤷ kevinkorchinski whoops, sorry. you loooooooooove us

⤷ messyviolets yes, yes i do

kevinkorchinski when are you coming to visit again???

⤷ messyviolets depends on who i'm going for

⤷ user19 tea!!!!! i hope she's talking about connor

liked be messyviolets and _connorbedard

_connorbedard no thank you's needed, v. you deserve the whole world

⤷ messyviolets connie...

⤷ user20 they are so cute

titobeauvi91 just a group of kids

⤷ messyviolets omg! hi tito!

⤷ titobeauvi91 hi violet

ryan_donato y'all are crazy

⤷ messyviolets ryan's here too??? where do you guys come from?

adam.fantilli how many times have you visited them

nhlblackhawks we love when you visit violet! you need to come visit soon again

⤷ messyviolets alright, who hacked the hawks insta?

caleychelios_nhl violet! we need to hang out sometime

⤷ messyviolets y-you're caley chelios. omg. i want to be you when i grow up

𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

if your name is crossed out it means i couldn't tag you

@ivy-34 | @itsnotgray | @daisysnhl | @love4ldr | @dancerbailey3 | @love4lando | @thescooby-gang | @biscuit-muffin05 | @toasttt11 | @http-aatp

[epigstolary]

The Middle of Nowhere, Part Two

I once said that my feeder didn’t have to do anything to keep me on his farm. That I was building my own prison there, bite by bite. And that’s still true — but only partly true. The farm may be a long way away from anything — town, other people, even the road that’s our only real connection to society — and it may as well be a desert island for someone too big to drive a car or walk further than the yard, but it isn’t my prison. Because my prison isn’t a place.

Things started to change when it got difficult even to go outside to our porch. I don’t mean they changed with my feeder; he was still as caring and doting as ever. He started bringing me my snacks once I got big enough that just shuffling out the front door took all my energy and attention. I had to watch where I placed every step of my bloated legs, laden with fat that looked like bags of cottage cheese, and hold on to the walls and the railing along the porch to keep my belly and chest fat from sloshing sideways and pulling me over. Even those few steps left me breathless and my heart pounding by the time I got settled on my bench; but it was worth it to have a plate of his biscuits and gravy or chicken and dumplings, under that big sky beyond our little farm, gilded with another sunset. And even when my bench finally gave way after one too many helpings of both, he dusted off his woodworking kit and put it back together, reinforced and better than new.

But by then, we both knew it was only a temporary fix. It wouldn’t be long before there’d be no way I could maneuver myself out there every day, and he could tell how being cooped up inside would drive me crazy after a while. If I was going to do anything other than sit mostly alone on the couch all day, we were going to have to find another way.

His first innovation was to invite people over for dinner — farmhands, friends, folks he knew from town that he could get to come to me even if I couldn’t go to them. And they were good company, in a lot of ways; they’d bring a taste of the outside world with them. They might talk about how the crops were doing, recount some recent anecdote from working out in the fields or going into town, opine on some petty local politics or gossip. And it was nice to hear about something other than what was going on within the confines of our little farm — an outside world that it was increasingly impossible for me to get to. But really, it was hard for the focus not to turn around to me. Nobody was ever rude the first time they met me; but it was rare not to see either a reaction of stifled surprise, or else a glassy look of unseeing, a conscious attempt not to notice the half-ton of fat flowing and bulging out of my ill-fitting clothes.

It didn’t help that, with me never leaving the farm, there weren’t many topics of conversation other than myself and food that our guests could engage with me about. When the conversation didn’t turn to recent meals or my favorite foods, which usually elicited at least warm agreement about the country staples forming much of my diet, it turned to how I spent most of my day. We’d do our usual face-saving song and dance about what I did to take care of the house while my partner was out working in the field — all of it lies, and increasingly transparent lies as my limited ability to even move became more obvious at higher weights — and how I was getting ready to start losing some weight. I’d talk about how I really wanted to get healthier, get out and about more often; and they’d smile and nod, giving tepid approval and encouragement.

The thing is, I really did mean it. I really did want to get down to a size where I could at least walk around outside again, maybe even drive a car into town and go to the little greasy spoon like I used to. It was becoming discouraging to have every step, every reach, every movement blocked or restrained by the fat smothering every inch of my body. But our guests knew full well I didn’t have a prayer of keeping to a diet or an exercise routine. It was even more obvious to those who’d visited before, and who saw me even more bloated, even more out of shape than the last time they were there.

The actual meals certainly made them think that, if they hadn’t before. My partner would serve a spread fit for a dozen people — something like a barbecue buffet, a whole turkey with all the fixings, a tray of lasagna — and I’d end up eating everything that was left after the others had their fill. Long after their places had been cleared away, I’d still be gobbling up the heaping plates my partner would keep bringing me until every scrap of food was gone. Since I couldn’t last very long at the dining table anymore, usually we’d sit around the living room, and they would basically watch me gorge myself — tits and chins wobbling as I’d chew, plate sitting on my enormous belly so my blubbery arms could rest on the sweep of my side rolls while I cut and speared each bite. It was obvious to everyone, I guess even to me, that I was never going to drop a pound if I couldn’t resist completely abandoning myself to food like that. By the end of the meal, I’d be stuffed full, taking up the entire couch and looking enormous, almost too drowsy from overeating to notice the expressions passing between our guests, their looks of amusement or disgust or astonishment at what was apparently a typical dinner for me. Sometimes they’d even whisper about it, thinking I was asleep. I wasn’t.

From the front window of the house, I could watch them drive away, taillights receding toward that distant road where proper civilization began again. Probably recapping the dinner and my obscene size and appetite with horrified amazement. They’d been merely passing through, tourists in my isolated bubble, visiting their friend’s or boss’s blob of a partner out of courtesy but with no real desire to bring me into the fold. They could make things more tolerable, but they’d never be any real help in connecting with the world again.

Then one day, my partner’s beat-up old pickup disappeared, and he pulled into the yard in a gleaming new one, looking unusually excited for him and expectantly at me. I was puzzled — by that point, I was already too big to heave myself up into the cab of any pickup. But then I saw the truck bed — more specifically, the crane and winch rising from the front corner. My stomach did a somersault at the sight of him rigging up a harness meant for lifting cows and pigs into the bed; it was a way to let me get off the farm, sure, but at a pretty steep price in dignity. It was as good as an admission that I’d eaten myself far too fat to rejoin the world like a normal person, probably for good.

But the temptation to be somewhere else, anywhere else, was too much. A day or two later, my partner was helping me waddle out the front door and down the steps toward the driveway. Months indoors had obscured just how much my body had changed in even that short amount of time. My legs had both bloated considerably and weakened since my last walk through the yard, making every step like having to lift heavy bags of molasses just to advance a few inches at a time. My belly hung lower and broader than I remembered, physically holding back my steps and making it harder to twist my upper body to steady my walk. My side rolls and bicep blubber fought one another for space, pushing my arms up and sending fat bunching around my neck and shoulders. I was an out-of-breath mess by the time I maneuvered myself around and collapsed into the harness.

The sensation of my weight being lifted slowly off the ground, suspended and moved by an object completely out of my control, sent a surreal thrill through me. My hundreds of pounds, cradled in the harness, wobbled and jiggled with its slow movements, and for the most part I had no choice but to be carried along with my body’s jostling inertia. Even more than usual, I was buried under my immense belly and tits, my bloated legs were lifted level with the rest of my body, and my flab-laden arms — if they’d even been strong enough to do anything — had nowhere to grasp to help stabilize my sloshing bulk. The crane and winch cracked and creaked as it labored to move my weight, lifted me over the sides and into position facing the tailgate, and lowered me onto some foam padding my partner had arranged into a kind of makeshift couch against the rear window. I didn’t fill the truck bed — but there wasn’t room to sit next to me, either.

I’ve never felt a mixture of emotions like I did on that first drive back into town. On the one hand, it felt so amazingly free — finding myself on that once impossibly-distant road, our farm receding into the distance as fields and hills sped by. Fresh air, and the wind in my hair. But then, as buildings grew closer together and we started rolling into downtown, my blood ran cold — I’m a half-ton blob taking up most of the back of a pickup truck, too fat to walk or move, coming to town like a circus attraction, I thought. People were going to react.

I’m sure a lot of it was in my mind. I’m sure I was self-conscious, reading intent into every glance and word and gesture, most of the time when it wasn’t there. But it felt like every last person in the town had turned out to stare at my huge form being paraded down main street. Me looking out over the expanse of lard occupying the truck bed and smothering my body. Blubber sloshing uncontrollably every time we turned a corner. Kids pointing at the enormous fatty passing by, their shouts being stifled by nervous and disgusted parents. Skinny people casting sideways glances at the pickup, stopped at a stoplight, as they muttered to each other amid broad grins.

And that was when I realized. It didn’t matter where I was — on the farm, in town, on stage with a million people watching. I had let myself get fattened past the point where I could exist in this world and connect with it ever again. Even when I was right in the middle of it, I was as far removed from these people as if I’d still been back on the farm. I’m never going to be walking around with them, shopping with them, just existing in the spaces they exist in. I literally don’t fit in, even if I could haul around all the blubber I’ve accumulated under my own power. And I’m just as alien to them — someone five times their weight, who can’t control their appetite any better than to get this big, someone they can deride or pity or judge with impunity.

On the drive back to the farm, under a starry indigo sky and with a backseat full of fast food from the town’s only chain, I had to wonder about my feeder. Whether he really was trying to get me out of the house. Or did he know? Had he already figured out that I was too big for it to matter where I was — that the thick rolls dominating my body and the sacks of fat hanging off my limbs would keep me his, even if I’d tried to get someone to help me leave? That this drive would do nothing more than to show me a world, a life, that my fat — his fat — would never let me go back to?

The thought lodged in the back of my mind as he gently helped hoist me, every inch wobbling and quivering, out of the truck bed. He led my bulk, step by exhausted step, back inside and to my usual divot on the couch. And as he got me comfortable, spreading the buffet of greasy, fatty food out before me, and as I bit into the first of ten thick double cheeseburgers, his too-kind smile and his gaze that lingered on my bulging gut for an instant too long told me everything I needed to know.

The farm isn’t my prison. My body is.

[pastryland]

f1 completed fic recommendations

Lestappen | Landoscar | Maxiel | Dando | Charlos | Brocedes | Carlando | Piarles | Galex | Sebchal

F1 fics are the main reason I got into this fandom and I figured I should share some (or so so many) fics that I like. While I do primarily follow Lando/Oscar and Charles/Carlos, I do read fics from other ships especially if they're from an author I like or the concept is interesting.

I have way too many fics (100+ though not all are completed) bookmarked so I'll just share my absolute favorites on this post and link posts of individual ships on their own posts. Also, I will continually keep updating this post and the other ones as fics complete and I read more.

If any of the authors of the fics mentioned here or are tagged and don't want their fics to be here, please let me know and I'll remove it!

❤️ = favorite

⭐️ = I love fics by this author in general

❌ = triggering themes

🔥 = explicit

Absolute Favorite Fics:

the trials of 2022 - 33k - Charles Leclerc/Carlos Sainz Jr - ❤️ ⭐️ 🔥

A partial summary of the 2022 season, as told by Charles or Carlos, following each race.

This would be my all-time favorite F1 fic if I had to choose, only rivaled by its currently unfinished sequel and the second fic here. Charles's and Carlos's relationship in this fic is so organic and realistic and the chemistry is incredibly tangible. The angst, tension, the emotion in this fic is delectable, beautiful writing by @/f1-stuff. Even if you aren't into this ship, I implore you to try this fic out.

the end of the strain - 19k - Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg, Lewis Hamilton/Sebastian Vettel - ❤️

They didn't end up together in the end, which he had already prepared for in his heart.   Lewis, in seven parts.

For the first time ever reading any fic of any fandom, I had to lie on the floor for a couple minutes to process the emotional damage this fic gave me. The characterizations of all the people are on point and the relationships are heartbreaking and devastating in all the right ways. If you want to cry or lie on the floor and contemplate love like I did, this is the fic for you.

Negative Splits - 10k - Lando Norris/Oscar Piastri - ❤️ ⭐️

So officially, Oscar Piastri, pretty good steepler and pretty bad pacer, was now a professional runner. They wanted him to steeple, mostly, though he’d be doing cross country in the fall, and Lando had pinky promised him, mid-distance guy to mid-distance guy, that if he wanted to get into the 3k flat indoor then he would get him in. Oscar didn’t really want to ask how he planned on doing that. Felt safer not to ask.

@/ocontraire is the queen of Sports AU's for the F1 boys (go check out her other fics too! They're also incredible). As an athlete myself, the mentalities of both Lando and Oscar are relatable to me, though I'm also fascinated by the differences in various sports. This fic is certainly on the more lighthearted side (emotionally at least) and I thoroughly enjoy Lando and Oscar's friendship/relationship and its development.

induction, consolidation, maintenance - 6k - Pierre Gasly/Charles Leclerc - ❤️ ❌

In which Charles is sick, Pierre is desperate, and he wishes he didn't have to do what he's doing to pay for Charles to have a chance.

Piarles is certainly not a ship that I read often, but this fic caught my eye and I'm certainly glad that I read it. Pierre's and Charles's relationship is quite cute, though I mainly love Pierre's desperation to save Charles no matter what. He is willing to do anything, the world could burn for all he cares, to make sure Charles is healthy again and it got me heavily in the feels.

glitch - 26k - Max Verstappen/Charles Leclerc - ❤️ ⭐️

Max hums. “Well, at least that means I won’t bump into Charles Leclerc again.” “Bummer, really,” Daniel says, moving back to his own seat and drinking the little bit of coffee that was still in the cup. “Could’ve been the start of a great love story.” Lando snorts. “Kids, it all started when I told your father, who had won two World Driver Championships at that point, that he sucked at driving.” Max sticks his middle finger up at them, and pulls his noise canceling headphones back over his ears. Only two hours left to go, he thinks, wistfully, and goes back to work.

I mainly read @/nyoomfruits's fics because of Landoscar, though this Lestappen fic took me completely by surprise. I adore the romcom vibes of this whole fic and Daniel and Lando are so hilarious and chaotic. Max's personality fits so well in this fic as an unbothered IT guy, but completely loses his composure when he meets Charles, his favorite F1 driver.

[sokkabackbender2021]

ok y’all i finally finished the neflix live action avatar and…….don’t hate me……..but i enjoyed it 😭 my standards for entertainment is honestly on whether or not it entertained me, so honestly i question my standards.

first off, the visuals and score was absolutely amazing. the fight scenes were well choreographed, and the bending, which i was super nervous about, looked actually amazing.

i think we can all agree the writing and dialogue was pretty choppy at times, and the delivery could be better at times. but i also think (most) of the energy of the original characters was captured well. katara honestly got done the dirtiest because why was she so…….not passionate??? i’m hoping later on she gets more so because that’s a key trait of katara. i was very disappointed with that :/

what they did to suki too……..i liked her being a little awkward and such because it makes sense but i felt like too much of her character was dedicated to her having a crush on sokka. like where is her attitude, her ferocity?

i think aang was played very well by gordon cormier, especially considering this is a child actor we are taking about. his line delivery isn’t going to be great and yes he is a real boy so he can’t be as cartoony as some would hope but i think he was absolutely adorable.

surprise surprise, i loved dallas liu as zuko. i think there were some pretty whack line deliveries but he really captured the anger and cringeyness of zuko well. his martial arts were also also incredible, his fight scenes were my favorite to watch. the scene with him crying quietly on the bed when ozai banishing him shattered me, his subtle acting is underrated honestly.

i have my beef with ian ousley as sokka mostly because of the controversy and such, but i can’t lie he did play sokka well. yet again, as for the last characters, some line deliveries were iffy but he was still a very believable sokka.

so for the writing, i have LOTS OF OPINIONS. there were things they cut that definitely upset me, and that was just because of their lowkey questionable pacing. as much as i hate the slimeball, i missed a lot of the interesting parts of zhao’s story that they cut like his agni kai, jeuong jeuong (aang’s fear of fire??), zuko SAVING him. i feel like they had something interesting there with building a fake alliance with him and zuko, and they didn’t build more off it. [edit] that so, the dude who played zhao had me losing my shit. his line delivery was hilarious and i just love that zhao just gives that manager no one likes/that one creepy math teacher in high school vibes (only combination i could think of y’all).

the additions to zuko’s story was something i absolutely loved. i found myself actually getting very emotional with a lot of the flashbacks, and the 41st division being his crew 🥹🥹 but then i find myself being upset that we were shown other flashbacks so early (like the death of katara’s mother??).

i actually hate the hate azula’s actress is getting. she’s playing a 14 year old……like a 14 year old?? she wasn’t even in season 1 in the og so ofc she’s gonna not be the same, i’m hoping this means they’re building up her up to her fierceness in season 2.

one last critique PLEASE GET A WIG BUDGET GOOD LORD THOSE WIGS WERE BAAAAD. and also a lot of their costumes looked fake or like plastic this was actually my least favorite part 😭

overall, not as horrible as people make it out to be, i had a good time but obviously the og will always be the higher quality product. i’m just glad the young actors seemed to really be passionate for the project :)

[spookyspecterino]

Grunt Work

Sam Coe x GN! Reader

GN! Reader. No pronouns, no use of Y/N, or reader descriptions used. Reader is referred to as Captain sometimes, like in the game.

Canon typical violence: blood, injury, mentions of death, guns, language, romance, kissing. All PG-13.

Spoilers for the “Grunt Work” Quest

It’s the very first UC Vanguard quest. If you haven’t played it yet, I highly recommend it. Out of my 20-ish hours playing it’s my favorite so far.

No spoilers for the end of game (I haven’t even gotten close to it yet) or anything to do with Sam Coe’s romance questline (I haven’t finished that either).

Non-spoiler summary for this fic/quest:

Reader and Sam Coe go to Tau Ceti II to check up on the settlers in the Tau Gormet Production Center.

More descriptions of the fic with a more specific summary below the cut. I’m being very specific about spoilers because for most people, myself included, we’ve only had the game for a week.

More specific summary of this fic/quest:

The UC Vanguard sends you on a routine mission to check in on a settler colony on Tau Ceti II—it turns out to be anything but routine. With Sam Coe at your side, your first Vanguard mission is a baptism by fire.

Characters: Hadrian, Sam Coe, Vasco (mentions of other characters: Cora Coe and Barret)

“Vasco, do a quick comms check for me. I want to make sure it’s working after it glitched out on the last planet.”

The tall robot makes some beeping and whirring noises. The way it stares into nothing bothered you at first, but after some time you’d gotten used to it—even appreciating how it followed commands without hesitation. Over by the ships on and off-boarding ramp, Sam says goodbye to Cora. A smile spreads across your face as you watch them.

The Frontier’s external lighting illuminates the surrounding landing site. An otherworldly moon hangs in the night sky. You take one more moment to do a last check of your pack’s contents. This was going to be a routine check-in mission, but it never hurt to be safe than sorry.

“Comms are operational, Captain.”

“Thank you.” You wave goodbye to Cora who smiles and waves back before returning to the Frontier. “Comms are good Sam, ready to go?”

Your companion saunters over with that signature ranger’s confidence. “Always.”

“Great. I think I’ve got everything. Vasco, have I got everything?”

“Scanning now.”

Sam shifts from foot to foot. “Storm’s rolling in.” He comments, looking into the distance. “I’d like to get there before it starts raining.”

Sure enough, muted thunder rolls on the horizon and the wind picks up a touch.

“Yeah, yeah. Hold your horses, cowboy.”

“I don’t even know what a horse looks like.” He mumbles.

Vasco beeps affirmatively. “The necessary items are present, Captain. However, you are carrying more than the recommended amount.”

You sling your pack over your shoulder with a grin, ignoring the second part. “Thanks Vasco. You know, for a second there Sam, I thought you were going to say something about your joints hurting.”

“Ha ha. I’m not that old.”

You make a teasing face at him as you start heading toward the compound’s lights in the distance. The trek isn’t bad, mostly flat terrain with a few rocks here and there. The wind continues to pick up, carrying the scent of rain.

Sam hops over a rock, taking his place by your side. “Not to sound too over-eager to get this Vanguard busy work out of the way, but, where’s our next stop after this?”

“I was thinking we could explore the rest of this system. How’s that sound?”

“You know me, no complaints here.”

A radio tower comes into view, red lights along the sides flashing periodically. Beyond it is the main compound.

“Oh, Cora asked to keep an eye out on books specifically about ship reactors. She thinks she can fix ours.”

You hike your pack higher on your shoulder, already feeling the soreness. Blast your incessant need to carry every type of weapon part with you at all times. “I’ll be on the look-out. If she can save me a few credits and fix it herself, she’s welcome to try.”

“She’s a brilliant kid, but let’s do it on a planet with an actual mechanic who can make sure it works after. I have faith in her, but she’s 11 and you can’t learn everything from books—”

“Hold up. Sam. Stop.”

He freezes, noticing your stock-still posture, eyes fixed on the wide-open doors of the radio tower. Bright light filters out into the night.

“Does that look like a body to you?” you ask him, pointing toward a slumped over shape laying against a supply crate.

“Sure does.”

Unholstering your pistol, you both crouch and move closer. The grass underfoot sways in the wind.

It’s a grisly scene. Multiple bodies litter the area. All settlers—dressed in civilian working clothes. Blood splatters dot the concrete, some trail back to a body. Sam whistles, short and low, to get your attention. He’s looking inside. On the table is a settler, face up, arms splayed out and gutted. Clothes stained a vibrant red. Deep claw marks gouge out sections of the floor.

“No bullets, no casings in sight.” He murmurs close to your ear. “And it’s all fresh.”

You don’t need to look at him to know he shares your particular anxiety. “Let’s check out the main compound.”

Moving out of the small building and down toward the tar mac, you’re about to say something about the wrecked ship when an alien scream interrupts you. It sets every hair on end. Never have you heard a sound like that, even on the many planets you’ve explored.

In little to no time after the scream, a sharp static crackles over your comms, making you jump. Sam shuffles closer, crouched low next to you. If the situation wasn’t so tense, he may have chuckled, but he stays frozen and somber faced.

“I am so glad to see you.” The voice, a woman’s, sounds heavy with relief. “I think it knows you’re here. Hurry up to the second-floor office, I’ll unlock the door.”

As you make your way into the compound, it feels like walking straight into the lion’s den. Every sense is on high alert. Lightning flashes, making you see things in the shadows that aren’t really there. Only Sam’s presence behind you keeps you level-headed.

The brightly lit, glass windowed office only makes you feel worse, like a sitting duck on display.

“I’m Hadrian.” The woman introduces herself curtly while holding her side. “Are you my saving grace?”

“Not exactly. I’m UC Vanguard—sent to check in on the settlers.”

“Well shit.” She leans against the table, eyes closed in pain.

“Please don’t tell me we’re dealing with a Terrormorph here.” Sam asks, beating you to the punch.

She sighs. “Unfortunately, yes.”

“Shit. That’s bad news, Captain. Real bad.”

“Listen,” Hadrian starts, moving away from the table, “I know you’re just two people, but you have to help me kill this thing.”

“And why’s that? Why don’t we all just leave now?” You ask.

“It’s unique. It showed up way too early. Tau Ceti’s only been colonized for 20 years. If this is a new kind of Terrormorph that matures faster and shows up earlier, we need to know.”

“Damnit.” You hiss. “Terrormorphs that show up after only 20 years of colonization could wipe humanity off the map.”

“Exactly.”

Rain begins to fall on the large windows with a clatter. The rolls of thunder were becoming booming clashes now. Visibility was already reduced at night, but now the storm made things worse.

You relent, giving up any notions of leaving. “Alright. I’ll help. Got any ideas on how to kill it?”

Sam’s eyeing you particularly hard from where he stands.

“Yeah, turrets. But we need to bring them back online and get them powered up. The terminal’s on ground level at the far end of the warehouse.”

Sam grunts. “So, closer to the Terrormorph?”

“I’m not sure where it is right now. My best guess is it’s still around the outer edge of the facility. But there’s a tracking system you can use on one of the terminals.”

You run a hand over your face. “Ok. Tracker and turrets. That’s better than nothing. I can make do”

“Radio me when you’ve reset the system and I’ll calibrate it from here. Thank you for helping and good luck.”

You and Sam sneak out one of the office doors into the warehouse. Fat raindrops fall on the metal roof, amplifying the sound into a loud drumming. It doesn’t come close to the volume of your heartbeat in your ears.

“Vasco, come in.”

“Reporting, Captain.”

“Initiate full lockdown on the ship. Tell Cora we ran into some trouble and are taking necessary precautions. If she seems worried, give her a book from my locker.”

“Yes Captain.”

You shut off comms and sling your pack from around your shoulders, attempting a commanding tone that you’ve always needed to fake. “Sam Coe.”

His usual raspy, low voice is layered with apprehension. “Captain?”

You’re pulling out weapon pieces from your pack for your rifle. They’re big—heavy duty—and add a decent amount of weight to the gun. “Go back to the ship.”

“I had a hunch you were gonna pull something like this. No. No way.”

“That’s an order—”

“Don’t try that with me. You know it ain’t gonna work.”

You pause, just as you’re changing out the rifle’s .50 Cal magazine with a 9x39mm eight round clip. “Sam.”

“I’m staying.”

His eyebrows are furrowed. Mouth slanted in a stubborn, almost angry frown. You’d have to dig deep. “Cora can’t lose you.”

“You always pull that card. It’s lost its affect.”

“…I can’t lose you either.”

You’ve never used that before and quite frankly are surprised to hear it come out of your mouth. Maybe it’s too soon. Up until now, you and Sam have only been flirting—no real feelings or moves have been made. It’s a bit of a jump, but you’re sincere.

His eyes hold yours unflinchingly. The crease on his forehead lessens a little. “Then you know how I feel and why I’m staying right here.”

He’s one-upped you and you weren’t prepared for it. You murmur a “Damit Sam” and go back to modifying your rifle. Fighting is pointless, and his admission has your nerves shaken more than you’d like. “Stay glued to my side unless I say otherwise. If things turn sideways and I order you back to the ship, you’d better listen. Got it?”

“Understood, Captain.”

“I mean it.”

A hint of his familiar smile returns. “I heard ya.”

“And Sam…”

“Hm?”

“No heroics.”

He doesn’t respond, his brows pinch together again. It’ll have to do.

Moving through the warehouse went excruciatingly slow. At all times you wished you could just get up and run instead, but it would signal the monster almost immediately. The whole situation made you feel like you were prey, scared and small. The addition of Sam’s presence put a heavy responsibility on your shoulders and that made you even more careful.

Hadrian was on your comms as soon as the system was reset. She directed you to the tracker frequency tuner in the same room. While finding the frequency, the system went into high alert—detecting the major threat. Your watch begins beeping steadily, and then rapidly speeds up. The Terrormorph was getting closer to your position.

Your eyes met Sam’s just as the alien appeared on the roof of the building outside. Right in sight from the room’s windows you were in. A rough hand yanks you down to the ground. Sam is crouched damn near on top of you, shotgun aimed up at it. However, it doesn’t notice you two in the dark room. You slowly cover the watch face to try and muffle the beeping sound. Maybe it was the rain, or the creature was just playing games, but it moved on past to a different part of the facility. Loud footsteps fading as it leaves. The radar lessens to a low, steady beat.

“Hadrian, come in.”

“I read you. The turrets are going to need their power sources reset with the security system in lockdown.”

“Great.” Sam sighs, lowering his gun. His shoulder leans into yours as he gets closer.

“We’ll find them. Out here.”

Reaching for your rifle, your hands visibly shook. You can feel Sam’s watchful gaze.

“Last chance to leave.” You whisper, aimlessly checking over your gun. You feel his hand squeeze your shoulder reaffirming.

“Not happening.”

The first power source wasn’t hard to find. You took the slow route, keeping an ear out for any changes in the radar frequency. The power switch was like a beacon, a big red switch on a yellow panel—it stuck out like a sore thumb. When you flipped it lights came on, loudspeakers announced to stand back…and the radar went nuts.

“Out, out, out!” You hiss, pushing Sam toward the far end door. He doesn’t need to be told twice as he beelines it.

With Sam leading, you follow him, scrambling up onto the roof of the building near the turrets. Two of the six are online now. Two more switches and you’ll have a fighting chance. Maybe.

Behind you, further in the facility, things crash. For now, it seems you’re safe.

You huff, lightening the death grip you have on your rifle. “Ok, here’s the plan. We’re going to split up.”

“I’m not gonna like this am I?”

“Take the watch. Find the power sources. I’ll create a distraction.”

“No.”

“Sam…” you exhale, closing your eyes. Despite the sheer terror you feel, you manage a chuckle. “We’re not going to get anything done if you keep arguing with me.”

“Let me create the distraction.”

“No.”

“Now who’s arguing?”

“Your shotgun has no range—it’s effectively useless, you’d be dead in two seconds.”

“Fair point. Then give me your rifle, I’m a good shot.”

You’re already unclasping your watch’s band from around your wrist. “I’m not taking the risk.”

“What if I wanna take the risk?”

Shuffling over while still crouched, you bring his arm closer. The watch slides on and you make sure to fasten it tightly. “You already know I won’t let you. At least now you can radio Vasco if…”

It didn’t need to be said.  

He looks at the device and back to you. “Why is this startin’ to feel like you’re on a suicide mission?”

You can’t look at him or you’d lose the last of your nerve. “I’ll be on that walkway over there. It’ll have to run through the turrets to get to me and they’ll still have a shot when it tries to climb up.”

The way Sam chews his cheek really underlines how unhappy he is with this plan of yours. “Remind me to have a word with you about your savior complex when this is all over.”

“Hm. I’m looking forward to it.”

A gentle hand wraps around your arm. His eyes are soft, pleading. His other hand cups your face, it’s rough and calloused, but warm. “If you need to run, then run. You don’t have to die for some Vanguard that sends you on a ‘routine’ mission they were too lazy to check first—or for a colony full of dead settlers. Ok? I want you back, with me, alive, and in one piece.”

You don’t trust yourself enough to speak, something sappy or cheesy may decide to come out, so you simply nod.

It isn’t enough for him. “Please, say you’ll come back to me. I need to hear you say it.”

If he wasn’t so close, he may not have heard you through the pounding rain. “I’ll come back to you.” You pretended that you meant it, that you believed it.

“Thank you.” His hand falls away to hold his shotgun. “Now let’s kill this thing.”

“Be safe.” You manage before turning and heading toward your position. The chill of the rain creeps through your spine, but the warmth from Sam’s hand lingers on your cheek. You try to hold onto that feeling.

The steel walkway is sturdy and grated, giving you a good vantage point of the surrounding area. Once in position, you set up your rifle and lay flat, adjusting the scope. Lightning flashes, the crash of thunder isn’t far behind it. Water runs down your face and you wipe it hastily to keep it from your eyes.

The bright fire of the flare casts everything in red. With a good toss, it lands directly in the middle of the kill lanes. Bringing out your pistol you shoot once, twice, up into the air. The alien screams and the sound of wrenching, tearing metal draws near.

The hulking creature appears at the far end of the kill lanes, focused on the flare. It’s huge, big enough to fill your scope’s sights. You breathe deep and exhale slowly as you take your first shot.

The round hits the Terrormorph square in the back leg, crippling it for a moment. Blood leaks out onto the ground below. It lurches before regaining balance on its five other legs, letting out an enraged roar.

More lights come on in the facility. Sam’s already found one power breaker. Two more turrets begin to flash and come online.

The monster’s head swings in a different direction. Toward Sam, no doubt. The realization fuels you with a cold fury. You crank the rifle’s bolt-lever, a long bullet casing flies out of the chamber with a cling. Sliding the lever back with a heavy clunk you even your breath and prepare to take another shot.

You take it, aiming for its other back leg, but miss—the shot glances off the ground. Six shots left.

The thing’s giant head swings back to stare at you directly. Through your scope it’s as if you’re staring it directly in the eyes. Its front legs stomp the ground, and it roars. It ambles forward right into the kill lanes. Four turrets open fire, knocking it off balance and sending it sprawling momentarily. You take another shot, this time severing its thinner front limb.

The thing howls, ear splittingly loud and shrill, but claws its way back onto its feet. The turrets are doing damage, but it isn’t enough. It lurches toward you with surprising speed. The turret fire follows. You take a shot and miss. You exhale and your breath comes out shaking.

It's at the base of the building your walkway is on as Sam flips the final switch and the last of the turrets power up. The Terrormorph slows down a little, struggling to climb the building with two of its limbs missing. You have another 130 seconds, maybe, before it reaches you.

Your fifth shot hits it in the back, effectively doing nothing. The thing is bloody and losing steam from the constant onslaught of all six turrets. You start to feel hopeful. There’s movement to your left. It’s Sam on one of the rooftops. You’re about to give him a thumbs up when lightning flashes—some of the facility machines spark, an alarm sounds, and all lights except for auxiliary backups flatline. An unlucky power surge from the storm.

The Terrormorph has reached the base of the walkway below and is trying to make its way up, now free from turret fire. This would be your chance to run, but something holds you there. A false hope maybe.

You hold your breath, take a shot, and hit it square in the face. It doesn’t stop, clawing at the thin metal for purchase. Pulling the bolt lever and sliding it home, you fire again, chipping its other back leg and causing it to stumble. Metal rails groan and collapse under the monster’s weight. It falls to the ground with a metallic crash. You don’t fire, yet.

Sam is still on the other roof. You wave him off, pointing to the ship. Trying to make it clear that this was the order to run. A clashing sound below snags your attention back to the monster. It’s testing out the strength of the rail supports.

You’re aiming again as it springs up and begins throwing its weight at the steel rods. The vibration of the metal groaning and shifting with each impact reverberates through you. This is your last shot.

You fire and miss entirely as a section of rails to your right collapse and bend, tugging your section down. You’re forced to let go of your rifle to hang on. It clatters to the ground below.

More support beams collapse and you can feel the structure groan before you even hear it, vibrating hard enough to numb your hands. Trying to climb up the tilting walkway was a mistake as the shift in weight caused the whole thing, with you attached, to fall entirely. The feeling of falling was short-lived, something sharp sliced at your leg as you fell into the railing and walkway debris below.

For a moment, you lay dazed and in pain. The sound of rain patters around you on metallic surfaces. The whole walkway and railing fell over, the area was littered with jutted angles and metal parts. Something shifted under the debris. Something big enough to toss heavy metal away with ease. Any hope of the Terrormorph getting crushed by the impact was gone as it reared back and screamed. Its eyes, all six or seven of them, landed on you.

There was no way of escaping, debris had fallen over you. A particularly large beam held you in place on your back. Your pistol, the last line of defense, dug into your hip uncomfortably.

Sensing it had you trapped, the creature took its time closing the distance. Your leg was devoid of all feeling except a vague sensation of warmth spreading around it. The rails on top of you pinned you down, but you managed to free your measly pistol.

Only three or four of your shots made contact, others glanced off the Terrormorph’s armored shoulders or missed entirely. Either way, the low caliber did nothing to it. With an empty mag, and nothing else to defend yourself with, your arm fell to your side. You just hoped Sam was smart enough to listen and go back to the ship.

A loud blast caught the monster on the side of its head, snapping it away from you, and causing it to stumble.

Apparently, he wasn’t.

Sam emptied three more shells into the creature before reloading with cool, practiced ease. One blast dislocated the Terrormorph’s other back leg. Chunks went flying.

It howled and thrashed as he kept unloading shells into it. When he was completely out, he dropped the shotgun and picked up a long rod of metal with a jagged, broken end. The sharp tip sliced clean into its ribcage. When the alien still tried to pull itself up on its remaining two feet, Sam pulled it out with a yank and drove it home into the thing’s head, right above the mandibles. It gave one final spasm and finally fell dead.

At last, the only sound around you was the rain.

Sam dropped the crude spear with a clatter, eyeing the body a few times as he rushed over through the debris.

“You ok?” he panted, kneeling down. His hands cupped your face, bringing the familiar warmth with them.

“Holy shit.” Was all you were able to say.

It made him laugh with relief as he moved to check you over. “And you said a shotgun wouldn’t do anything.”

His hands moved debris from your legs, and he hovered as you yelped in pain. “You’ve got a nasty gash here. We need to get you back to the ship for medical attention. Let me see if I can get this off you.”

With a grunt of effort, he pushed the beam up enough for you to pull yourself out. Your leg was bleeding badly, but nothing you couldn’t fix with some TLC and bed rest. The pain hadn’t set in yet, thankfully.

Near you was a chunk of the Terrormorph’s leg. Feeling oddly disconnected from yourself, you grabbed it, staring at the gross thing, and put it in your pocket for Hadrian.

Sam started taking out bandages and doing what he could to wrap your leg. You could see his hands were shaking now.

Against all odds you both were alive; you started to laugh.

Sam gave you an odd look. “Don’t go loopy on me.”

A giant smile broke across your face. “Wasn’t expecting to live. There goes my chance at a cool memorial or bragging rights.”

“Going face to face with a Terrormorph and only losing a chunk of your leg gets bragging rights. Believe me.”

“Nah. All the credit goes to you on this one. That was just badass.”

He grunted, throwing more debris out of the way, and trying to clear a path. “Wasn’t thinking about how cool it looked when I did it. I was just trying to save you.”

“You know I’ll be telling this story forever, right?”

He chuckles, helping you up, slinging your arm over his shoulder and wrapping his around your waist. “I can see Barret’s expression now.”

“‘Sam Coe, my hero’ is how I’ll start it.”

He groans playfully. “Please don’t.”

“It’s true.” You looked at him as your feet touched even ground. Your faces were close. You could see the rain drops clinging to his hair and beard. “You saved my life.”

When he looked over, his nose nudged yours from close proximity. He didn’t shy away from the contact. Your paces slowed to a stop. “I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again, either.”

Your grin was slow to spread as you glanced at his lips more than once. “Would you prefer a quippy one line as thanks?”

“Mm—no. Maybe something else though.”

You feigned ignorance as his eyes trailed down your face. “Oh? And what would that be?”

“I’ll let you think of it.”

“A hero’s song?” you joked, voice softening.

“Nope.”

“How about a poem?”

He faces toward the room Hadrian’s in with a low laugh and begins to walk again. “You know, if you were as much of a smartass to that Terrormorph as you are to me, it would have keeled over on the spot.”

You put your good foot down and hold it, halting any forward progress. “Ok, ok. I think I’ve come up with something.”

He’s still smiling as he looks at you. Your noses nudge again. “If you suggest a book or a short story—”

His surprised breath as your mouth presses to his is an award in itself. He stays motionless for a moment, as if his brain had short-circuited, before his lips move and mold to yours. Slow and tentative at first, exploratory. Soft and gentle as if he’s afraid of hurting you. His hand on your waist moves to your lower back, gripping your clothes. He leans into you, beard scratching the skin of your face. Your fingers slide through and tangle in his wet hair. It makes him pant into your mouth before kissing you again, more eager this time.

Breaking apart, you both linger close, hot breath mixing together. His forehead leans to yours, eyes still closed.

That raspy voice of his you love so much is the first to break the silence. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting you to do that.”

“You could have made the first move. I wouldn’t have minded.”

“Was never sure if you were just being quippy and flirtatious for fun or not.”

“It is fun, but it’s also because I care for you.”

He hums, nuzzling his nose against yours. “Good to know, we’re going to have to find time for this more often.”

You close the distance enough to ghost your lips over his. “We have time now.”

He hesitates, so tempted with the offer, but exhales instead. “You’re hurt and bleeding all over the place, I need to get you some medical help. Plus, Hadrian needs her damn samples.”

“Pshh. I’ve got plenty of blood left—and she can be patient.”

He starts walking again, bringing you with him, and pressing the gentlest kiss you’ve ever felt against the corner of your mouth. “Just wait until you’re healed. You won’t be able to keep me away.”

[servethelight]

Shit I’ve noticed during my clone wars rewatch and my interpretation (very Obi-Wan focused because he’s my favorite character lmao):

(Includes spoilers obviously)

+ I love this show to bits, but it has horrible issues with consistency. Every other episode there is a new weapon or something introduced and we’ll never see it again. This is very prevalent in especially the first seasons.

+ Obi-Wan is such a fucking enabler. Like he tells Anakin his plans are stupid at least twice during the Malevolence episodes, but then joins him on all of those. It’s literally like: “Anakin this plan is reckless and won’t work, anyways what’s my part in your plan?”

+ Rex running into that metal pipe. I forgot about that and laughed for 20 minutes straight.

+ Anakin pulls a “Are ya winning son?” on Obi-Wan about Ahsoka.

+ I once saw a post that it isn’t confirmed that Obi-Wan and Cody are friends, but you have Obi-Wan literally marveling on how competent the commander is and Cody always going the extra mile to save his general’s ass. To me that’s pretty much a friendship.

+ The Jedi are in general very gentle, but quite touchy. They might not go for hugs, but there is always someone touching someone’s shoulder or waist. And they’re just so fucking kind. I don’t think I ever noticed that as a kid, but they’re so respectful about life and culture and always helping someone. I just love them so much.

+ And I love the understanding and kindness the clones have. They’re soldiers and programmed to kill, but they’re also good people in most cases. I just wanna hug most of them.

+ My mother told me I cried as a child during the episodes with the Zillo beast. Well, I didn’t cry again, but I’m still so fucking mad at Palpatine for putting that poor creature in that position. If he just had listened to Mace Windu (more of the characters should actually, just saying) that poor animal wouldn’t have killed people and found its end like that.

+ Mortis is quite hated by the fandom but for me it’s a defining showcase of Obi-Wan’s, Anakin’s and Ahsoka’s relationship. I’ve seen people in the fandom saying that Anakin would’ve turned out differently if Obi-Wan would’ve told him he’s proud and took care of his feelings. This episodes literally show that he does exactly that and Anakin still doesn’t give a shit.

+ Anakin tells the son in his dream, that he’ll never come to the dark side willingly. Only to walk over to the literal manifestation of the dark side like 10 minutes later to save Ashoka. I came to the conclusion that the only way to tempt him was by promising to save his loved ones. I still think it was a really awful and greedy thing to become Vader for that, but I must admit it’s a noble character trait to put others first.

+ Kit Fisto doesn’t have nipples. Therefore I’ve concluded he’s isn’t a mammal and hatched from an egg like Nemo the clownfish. (And no, that isn’t a animation thing, Rex does have nipples when his shirt is off).

+ The discussion with my gf about Kit Fisto nipples and Star Wars biology also touched the topic of “how does Maul use the bathroom”. My conclusion is: he has a stoma, because the lower abdomen, where that would be, is always covered.

+ Hardcase mentions he is hyperactive. I now see him as my favorite ADHD clone, because having ADHD myself I can fucking relate.

+ I forgot Waxer died on Umbara and bawled my eyes out. Waxer is one my favorite clones and when he cried while dying I just couldn’t take it.

+ My friend spent the entire Umbara arc just simping for the clones (mostly Jesse), while I was suffering. So maybe they look hot or something for people attracted to men in this episodes.

+ In the episode after the Umbara the duo usually consisting of Waxer and Boil is sent out, but this time it’s just Boil and I was about to bawl again.

+ For being called “the negotiator” Obi-Wan gets his ass beat quite a lot after his “negotiations” (aggressive flirting).

+ While I’ll never forgive Obi-Wan for doing that Raako Hardeen shit, I nearly pissed myself when the Ziro the Hutt’s ex gf is flirting with not one but two women there. Like I didn’t expect her to be the fucking gay rep in clone wars.

+ I’m seriously never forgiving Obi-Wan for that. I can’t get over Ahsoka’s tear filled eyes while she’s holding his corpse. Also she doesn’t seem angry like Anakin just massively sad and disappointed after it is revealed that he’s still alive. Personally I believe she’s starting to doubt the order here.

+ Point three on hating on my favorite character for that shit, I feel like Anakin becomes quieter and less playful after that disaster.

+ Maul is me. He’s obsessed with Obi-Wan and mentions that he has massive problems what is going on inside his head. As a mentally ill person, that makes me feel really seen lmao.

+ The underwater episodes and the ones with Ventress on that train were just the most beautiful worlds I’ve ever seen. Like the planets in general are so beautifully designed in clone wars, I’m so in love.

+ Motherfucking “I said fuck the council and became a child soldier for a rebellion at 13” Obi-Wan Kenobi seems very reluctant on doing it again. There are two entire arcs of him disagreeing on helping rebels. First I didn’t understand, because like dude you literally did this before, but since he talks about his worries about bringing the separatists in or worsen the situation, I think the poor man is just a little bit traumatized.

+ After the events of Onderon I’m pretty sure Ashoka is already filled with doubts about the order, the republic and the war. I also feel like she’s feeling massively led down by Obi-Wan again, which broke my heart because I love their relationship.

+ I just realized he fails Ahsoka a third time, when she is captured by Hondo and Obi-Wan is supposed to help her. Instead he gets attacked by Grievous and is forced to postpone the helping them until they help themselves. I mean it’s not his fault but in Ahsoka’s place that wouldn’t feel good to me.

+ This particular fight with Grievous ignited my love for Obi-Wan again. Before he attacks Grievous he helps an injured clone and when he goes into the fight, Grievous directly kills a clone. Instead of his usual witty remarks, he just goes: “you’re gonna regret that” and jumps Grievous. He just loves his clones as much as I do.

+ One of the most beautiful shots in the entire series for me is in the episode before the droids find Gregor. This WAC droid looks into the desert and it reflects in his eye. Because of the cracks in the desert ground it looks almost like a retina. Beautiful metaphor of combining something artificial and metallic with an organic and almost human part. This was such a fucking raw shot for me, it took my breath away.

+ Tarkin is an asshole, but he’s climbed the asshole latter so hard after he has been mean to Plo Koon.

+ Shotout to Obi-Wan for convincing the order to let Anakin go after Ahsoka. Additionally the whole time he acts in her support only to be shut down by the council. I didn’t remember him doing that so I was surprised.

+ Fives tells the plot with the inhibitor chips to a cab driver. Do you think the cap driver ever thinks back after the war and is like: “Fuuuuuuck”?

+ I kid you not, the clone bar has gender neutral bathrooms (and no, it’s not bc the clones are all male, in the bar are also women). The bathroom are just decided by humans, hutts and a third species I cannot quite recognize.

+ I forgot Teckla gets shot, NOOOOOOO

+ I always say clone wars anakin is better, but Jesus stop acting like a jealous bitch. Padmè deserves an award for putting up with his bullshit. Obi-Wan too. He even tries to give him reassurance by telling him that feelings are not forbidden and Anakin just bitches at him.

+ Obi-Wan casually passing on babysitting duty for Jar Jar fucking killed me (and yes, taking care of Jar Jar is babysitting duty).

+ Never in a million years I would have thought to see Jar Jar admitting to fucking this queen, but here we have him saying he was making love to her last night. Imma set myself on fire and I believe Windu will join me.

+ You could also call the clone wars the exposition wars. Every episode has their one minute exposition in the beginning, but I feel like a lot of the dialogue is used for exposition.

+ Obi-Wan doesn’t learn shit. That man got drugged by Hondo, but yet still accepts drinks from the Pykes. MY BROTHER IN CHRIST PLEASE DONT

+ I AN GOING TO SCREAM. You have been informed that the Clones have a behavior influencing chip in their brains and then you find out Dooku was behind the creation of the clones and no one connects the fucking dots. I love the Jedi, but goddamn are you all dense.

+ Do you think Hunter thought Rex was screwing his general? Because their conversation sounded kinda suggestive and then they trail off to do something secret.

+ Ahsoka going “my older brother thought me”after kicking a guy where it hurts most. I now imagine Anakin going to Ahsoka as soon she got to be his padawan: “Listen up Snips, if you ever facing a creepy guy, you kick them right there”

+ When the sisters make their escape I don’t get why they don’t let Ahsoka fly. She’s clearly the more capable pilot.

+ Controversial opinion: I have a strong dislike for Bo Katan. She’s a fucking terrorist who doesn’t betray the deathwatch when they murder an entire innocent village, no but when there’s Maul trying to take their authority. Says a lot about her character if you ask me.

+ I mcfucking cried when the clones painted their helmets according to Ahsoka’s face markings and my flatmates gf came in and asked me if everything’s alright. I am fucking embarrassing I have seen this scene three times already but I still bawl like a baby.

+ Also my dear Obi-Wan can you quit being an ass? A “hello Ahsoka, nice to see you” wouldn’t have killed you.

+ Through the whole show most of the characters seemed to appear increasingly tired towards the end. Especially Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, but other characters aswell. The only one who seems to stay energized is Anakin. He becomes more serious but I feel like he’s the only one at the end that is still going into battles with full energy. It almost felt like he’s especially thriving in a war scenario which is incredibly sad.

+ The beauty of that last scene with Vader is truly unparalleled. I don’t ever think a tv show can recreate that.

+ I still love this show to bits and I cried 5 times total during that rewatch, shit this was nice.

[hannarchive]

🎆 HANNArchive 1st Anniversary BTS Fic Recs 🎆

So today is this blogs’ 1 year aniversary 🥺 I actually just made this archive for myself to save the fics i like and might want to read again one day. I didn’t expect to get so many notes and followers just from my navigation post that I made cause i literally forget everything I’ve read immediately and i need the detailed tag-system lmao. Like, i can barely remember what i read yesterday. 🙃 But I’m happy other people are finding my blog useful as well. ✨

Anyway, so i thought i’d make a fic recs list. These are the same fics that’s in my 💖 tag, which is my personal favorites, but i thought i would make a list thats nicer than just going through the tag.

✰ Like real people do by @bangtanloverboys (3.6k) Tae x Y/N, friends/colleagues 2 lovers. Fluff, slight angst, soft smut. ⋆ This is such a comfort fic for me, I too am lonely and touch starved where’s my taehyung ):

✰ Hunt me down by @bonny-kookoo (series, ongoing) Alien!JK x Human!Reader. Fluff, angst, smut. ⋆ I just love her stuff, go read all her other alien fics while you’re at it - and all her other stuff too!

✰ Reconnect by bonny-kookoo (12.5k) Exes 2 lovers, Singlemom!Reader, Dad!JK, angst, smut.

✰ Ignorantly, yours by @ot7always (10.6k) Alpha!Jimin x Omega!Reader -Werewolf AU, Best friends 2 lovers. Smut, angst, fluff.

✰ Knot today by @kinktae (5.8k) alpha!JK x virgin omega!reader - Werewolf AU, roommates. Mostly smut, pwp, with som angst and fluff.

✰ Colours by @lovelytaes-blog (Series) Singledad!Tae x Artist!Y/N - Angst, fluff, smut.  

✰ (1.5k drabble +) sorry (not sorry) by @angelguk (8.1k) Roommate!JK x Y/N - Smut with sprinkles of fluff and angst.

✰ The Sadness of things by @lubdubsworld (Series) Alpha!JK x Omega!OC - Arranged Marriage AU. HEAVY angst, smut, fluff (Please check the trigger warnings) ⋆ Listen, this nearly killed me. I cried several times and even full on sobbed at one point. Broke my heart but it’s so good! 😭 Edit: Find all of the chapters here

✰ War of hearts by @btswrckd (Series) Mafia!Tae x Y/N - Arranged Marriage AU. Angst, fluff, smut. ⋆ I really love the characters in this - despite some dark themes it’s quite entertaining and endearing how everyone interacts with eachother.

✰ Strain by @evangelene (Series) Taehyung x Y/N - Hanahaki AU. Angst, fluff. 

✰ Summer nights and morning dew by @jeonstudios (11k) Alpha!JK x Y/N - Werewolf AU. Fluff, angst. ⋆ This is so cute!!! 

✰ Out of the woods by @angelicyoongie (Series) WolfHybrid!Joon x Y/N - Fluff, angst, smut. 

✰ Nude by @btssmutgalore (Series) Fuckboy!Tae x Y/N - Smut, fluff, angst.

✰ Summer Nights by @marginalmadness (Series) RabbitHybrid!JK x Y/N - Romance, fluff, smut. 

[datura-tea]

holy shit this year marks 10 years of this blog and moz!! i can't remember the exact date i started posting here - my archive says i have one post from november 2013 but let's disregard that - but i do remember it was around late 2014/early 2015 :)

^ one of the very first moz art pieces i ever drew, for fallout week 2015!!

memories and art through the years under a read more bc it got long

2014 → baby's first rpg!! i started playing fnv on my cousin's jailbroken xbox late 2013 and finished mid 2014 and i loved every minute of it. i remember waking up at 8am and playing almost nonstop until 2am the next day haha!

i didn't play moz on my first playthrough - but i did start creating a character that would eventually become her: a shorthaired ex-boxer who punched her way through obstacles when diplomacy failed. i remember she spent a lot of time with boone. i liked him then, because he saved my ass more times than i can count. but i digress. this is draft 1 moz essentially

2015 → this is the year that i was doing my thesis so i could graduate but i was so depressed and stressed about it that i distracted myself by replaying fnv on pc, where i played through the dlcs for the first time. i fell in love with the dlcs' oversarching story; particularly ulysses, who i became obssessed with, especially since i couldn't find any content of him at the time. in the game, i played as moz; i had most of her personality and choices down, but her backstory was still up in the air.

fun fact: this was an existing sideblog that i remade to be a fallout blog so i could look for ulysses content, and when i couldn't find any, i made some myself, featuring moz as my main courier six. originally, i didn't ship them, but eventually i ended the year as a courier/ulysses otp shipper.

this was the year i started drawing digitally - my uncle let me borrow a drawing tablet and i used an old copy of photoshop i pirated hehe

2016 → i graduated this year!! and promptly fell deeper into my depression. this was the year that it got so bad that i had to be medicated. through it all, this blog and moz and ulysses and my fandom friends were with me. and for that i am truly grateful :) this was the year i figured out how to lock transparent pixels so that i could color my lineart lol

2017 → i started hammering out moz's backstory this year i think. there's a lot of sketches of her and her family in my files. i experimented with shading and backgrounds here but that experimentation was pretty short-lived

2018 → i started using references seriously!!!! i did a lot of oc on oc kissing this year, featuring mostly moz and many friend ocs haha

2019 → didn't draw much this year. actually this year was a blur and i can't remember much from it except from it being the year of my terrible no good bad copywriting jobs... anyway i did manage to continue my courier/ulysses brainrot and make this piece, which i'm still proud of

2020 → pandemic time. i spent a lot of time asleep at home and i think this was also the year i started doing commissions?? shoutout to anyone who has ever commissioned me - thank you so much, i truly appreciate it!!

2021 → i switched from my old-ass pirated photoshop to clip studio paint and never looked back. also i did a bunch of commissions for my grandmother's surgery, which failed, and i distracted myself from the sadness by drawing my ocs over and over and playing disco elysium

2022 → by this year, i've got moz down pat and have started vaguely developing other ocs instead. but she's still always at the back of my mind

2023 → i bought new brushes from true grit texture supply and immediately found new favorites that i started using for everything. i tentatively started incorporating background elements in some pieces!

2024 → while it's still too early to say where this year will lead me art-wise, i will say that i started experimenting in realistic paint studio (which i bought in 2021, the same time as clip studio paint) a few days ago and i'm liking the results so far. we'll see!

all in all, these last 10 years have been quite a ride, but i'm glad i stuck around and i'm glad you guys stuck around too!! much much love 💖💖💖