#this is what she said btw. direct quote:

[intern-seraph]

honestly if you seriously think jews have only recently started living in fear of antisemitic violence, you are either

a. a willfully ignorant idiot who hasn't been listening

b. living under a fucking rock

c. literally just being an asshole because it's cool to shit on jews again

and i have no sympathy for you or your loss of career. fuck you.

[horrorwebs]

one time the girl i liked, in an attempt to be cute or whatever (?) told me "if id be the rue to her jules" so i got that as one of the signs she liked me, then when i told her i liked her and if she wanted to date she went "oh my bad i didnt mean that line romantically lol" BRO WHAT??

[daisies-daydreams]

Hi! Can I request of TF141 x Fem! Reader who is cold hearted when going in war but she kind snd smile when helping the civilians and children. Like the tf141 never see Y/n smile after joining the military. And when they see her smile the first time, they felt heart warm and almost cry see Y/n smile as an angel.

Take all the time you want. No need to rush.

Pairing: TF141 x Fem!Reader (Platonic)

Category: Fluff & Angst

Warnings: Suggestive Comments, Blood, Injuries, Swearing, Depictions of Child Labor

Word Count: 1.6k+

A/N: Hi! Thank you so much for your request! (I love your incorrect COD quotes btw, they’re so much fun to read! ☺️).

“Bliz”

That’s what you were known as when you were in the SAS. It was short for “Blizzard”, and that you were. Your taciturn and cold demeanor made other soldiers weary of your presence.

“We call her Blizzard cause ‘Ice Queen’ was just too damn long,” you remember on of your fellow soldiers remarking when he thought you couldn’t hear him. Hopefully, you wouldn’t have to deal with such idiocy now that you’ve been recruited into Task Force 141. When you walked into Captain John Price’s office and he congratulated you on being selected, he seemed a bit put off by your stern attitude.

“Thank you for this opportunity, Captain Price,” you replied, your lips in a straight line. The Captain gave you a small smile.

“We’re on the same team now. Just call me Price,” he said. You stood in place and straighter your shoulders.

“I prefer to call my fellow soldiers and superiors by their rank,” you explained with a flat tone.

Your introduction to the rest of 141 went about the same way.

“Hey there! Name’s Soap. Nice to have a new face on the team!” Soap beamed with an outstretched hand. You eyed him up and down, mouth curved in a frown.

“Thanks,” you muttered as you shifted in place. Soap’s hand twitched slightly as he lowered it to his side. He watched you introduce yourself to Ghost and Gaz before you brushed past them.

“Come on. We have a meeting in five,” you stated. The three men watched you walk towards Price’s office for the newest mission’s pre-briefing. Soap clicked his tongue before walking in the same direction with Ghost and Gaz, your frame already out of sight.

“I thought ‘Blizzard’ was just an exaggeration,” Soap muttered.

“She’s SAS-you know the shite she’s probably seen,” Ghost said. Soap sighed, his shoulders slumping.

“Not every girl’s gonna want to get into your pants, Johnny,” Gaz retorted. Soap scoffed.

“That’s not-“ Ghost and Gaz gave him a knowing, sideways glance. Soap huffed through his nose. “Ah, what do you know? Probably haven’t even held hands with a lass,” Soap waved. Gaz’s nostrils flared but he kept walking. The men rounded the corner and stepped into the office. You were standing at the other side of the room, your arms crossed and brows slightly furrowed. Soap could’ve sworn that he saw you narrow your eyes at him.

“Right. Let’s begin,” Price said. A thick layer of unease settled over the room during the prebriefing. Soap would glance over at you every once in a while. You were like a statue, your eyes glued to the Captain as he explained the ins and outs of the mission.

“Your objective is to infiltrate a weapons manufacturing plant in the town of Nahr. It belongs to one of Al-Qatala’s allies: the Riah Sharquia,” Price explained.

“The Eastern Wind?” you asked.

“Never heard of them,” Ghost added. Price nodded.

“They’ve been operating underground for the past ten years. Just announced themselves publicly about a few weeks ago,” he stated. You nodded, gaze intensely set on the Captain.

“Anyway, back to what I was saying. You are to capture the head of the western plant, Adil Malik, and interrogate him,” he continued. “Best to keep your wits about you: These bastards have the region in an iron grip. They’ve been taking local people and forcing them to assemble their weapons…mostly children,” he continued. Your face twisted into a deep scowl, hands clenched into tight fists. It didn’t go unnoticed by Soap.

“Wheels up at seventeen-hundred tonight,” Price said with a nod. Time flew by quickly and before he knew it, Soap was sitting next to you on the flight. You were sandwiched between him and Ghost, the two imposing men towering over you even as you sat down. Gaz sat nearby along with some other soldiers crowded in the bay. Soap leaned over with a cheeky grin.

“Hey, Bliz,” he smiled. You kept your gaze forward, lips sealed tightly. “What smells like red paint but is blue?” Soap snickered. Ghost rolled his eyes, as if he were one to talk about bad jokes.

“Blue paint,” you replied shortly with a straight face. Soap twisted his lips.

“Yeah that’s…that’s right,” he muttered awkwardly. Some soldiers across from you whispered, only to cease when they realized your icy gaze was locked on them. Soap sighed and leaned back as much as he could.

It was going to be a very long flight.

+++

You pushed through the rickety door, splinters flying across the room.

“BLIZ! YOU BETTER GET YOUR ARSE BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!” Ghost barked. You gasped at the sight before you: a group of children huddled together in the corner of the filthy sweatshop. You heard the lieutenant rush up behind you. His eyes widened when he saw the group of gaunt faces.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he seethed while clenching his fists. You stepped forward and pulled your black mask down, revealing a gentle look on your face. A small lump formed in the lieutenant’s throat as he watched you kneel down on one knee.

“It’s okay. We aren’t going to hurt you,” you cooed softly as you slowly held out your hand. A young boy shuffled forward, hesitantly slipping his hand into yours. You helped him up, causing the other children to mutter to each other.

“GHOST! BLIZ! GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!” Gaz suddenly shouted over the coms. “THEY FUCKING RIGGED THE PLACE TO BLOW!” Both of you exchanged glances before looking back at the kids.

“Aitabieni,” you said calmly. Some children anxiously huddled near your side as you rushed them forward. Ghost surveyed the area before motioning to move.

“Soap, are the exits clear?” Ghost asked.

“Aye,” the Scotsman replied.

A sense of relief washed over you as you saw sunlight pour through a crack in the exit door. A sudden shriek pierced through the hallway, causing you to stop in your tracks. The other children ran past you as you whipped your head around. A young girl was crying as she held her bleeding foot, a shard of glass with crimson on it lying nearby.

“BLIZ! DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING STOP!” Ghost bellowed. You sprinted down the hallway, grabbing the child and scooping her into your arms as you rushed outside. Just as you reached the gate, you heard a rancorous crack behind you.

“(Y/N)!” Ghost shouted. You curled yourself over the small one, keeping your arms wrapped around their head. The shockwaves sent you tumbling forward. Rubble flew past you as you did your best to shield her from the blast. You held onto the child tightly as the ringing in your ears continued to bombard you. The smoke and embers were searing hot as they cascaded from what remained of the building. You coughed when the dust finally began to settle.

You looked down in your arms, relieved to see that the child was still breathing. The young girl had her face nuzzled into your chest, hands white-knuckling your shirt as she sobbed. You heard Ghost's muffled shouting as he ran towards you, helping you while Soap took the little girl. You tried to stand, only to fall on the ground. The world was spinning as Ghost picked you up in his arms.

“Make sure they’re safe,” you smiled weakly before your vision suddenly went black.

+++

You gasped as you shot upwards on a hard surface. You groaned as a throbbing pain shot through your skull. A dark haired man stood near you, his lips curving into a smile when he locked eyes with you.

“She’s awake!” he sang, his voice slightly muffled. You grunted as you tried to sit up, only to fall back down on the scratchy mat.

“Easy there, Bliz,” Soap said as he came to kneel by your side. You blinked a few times, your vision becoming less blurred.

“Where…what?” your voice croaked. Ghost and Gaz stood in the corner, their attention quickly shifting from their conversation over to you. All of you were in a small room, a lamp dimly lighting up the space. You trailed your fingers over your head, feeling at the blood-soaked bandages.

“You took quite the spill out there,” Soap said. He tilted his head towards the man who was preoccupied with preparing some medicine. “Doctor Kaan said he wasn’t too keen to taking in outsiders-but since you saved his wee lass, he made an exception,” the soldier beamed. A small face suddenly appeared behind the unknown man. Your eyes widened when you realized it was the young girl you had rescued from the hallway. She smiled sheepishly as the man turned and patted her head. He swiveled back to look at you, a wide smile on his face and tears in his eyes.

“Thanks to you, my little Emel has come back to me,” he choked. The girl tugged on his shirt. He chuckled as he brought her into his arms, kissing her forehead gently. The doctor stepped closer, holding your hand and shaking it. “Thank you, thank you,” he sobbed repeatedly. Your cheeks tinted with pink as the corners of your mouth finally curved into a complete smile. Soap felt his heart flutter as he stared at your soft, angelic face. Even the corners of Ghost’s eyes crinkled, and Gaz couldn’t help but crack a small grin. Your face truly shined like the sun when you smiled.

“Anything for the little ones,” you beamed.

+++

Epilogue

Soap watched you with a bright smile as you kicked the football back to a group of kids. They giggled and went on with their game. The empty streets before were starting to bustle back to life. Ghost and Gaz were…busy at the moment. Soap strode over to where you were seated. Your peaceful expression shifted into a slight frown.

“What is it, Sergeant MacTavish?” you asked bluntly. His shoulders bounced as he slid next to you.

“You know you can just call me Soap, right?” he nudged your arm. You rolled your eyes, only to flinch when the ball came flying towards you. Soap reached his hands out, catching it just inches from your face. You blinked as he chuckled and threw it back to the kids.

“How’d you do that?” you asked. He looked at you with a glint in his eye.

“I might have a tad bit of practice,” Soap hummed. You gave him an unreadable expression before turning back to the game.

“Thank you…Soap,” you murmured while looking forward. He grinned.

“Anytime, bonnie”.

————

Thank you for reading! ❤️

@silverwolf-108

[miicycle]

The Kung Fu Panda Movies have always had Mr. Ping give the moral of the story, and I think about that a lot. Yes, Po is usually out fighting bad guys when realizing where he should be mentally and skillfully, on his own when he gets the point of teachings. Ping is such an important person in Po's life, just as much as Shifu is needed to help Po learn Kung Fu.

Way more under the cut!!!

Kung Fu Panda 1: "You are almost ready to be entrusted with the secret ingredient of my secret ingredient soup. And then you will fulfill your destiny and take over the restaurant [...]" - Ping

"Secret Ingredient of my secret ingredient soup" being an allegory for Dragon scroll and "destiny" being Po becoming the Dragon warrior and "take over the restaurant" as being Oogway's successor.

Then it turns out the scroll is blank. And Ping feels its a good place to tell Po about the secret ingredient. NOTHING. For something to be special, you just have to BELIEVE it's special.

So Po, not needing any secret scroll or any cool powerup, wins against Tai Lung by believeing in himself.

Ping made him believe in himself. And when Po fulfills his destiny of defeating Tai Lung, he's PROUD!

Kung Fu Panda 2: "Po, your life may not have such a happy beginning, but look at how it turned out! You got me, you got kung fu! And you got noodles!" - Ping (and almsot identical quote said by Soothsayer)

And

Po: "I gotta go. I'm the Dragon Warrior, it's kinda my job to save Kung Fu. And if I don't, what am I?"

Ping: "You're my son! ... Right?"

The message is pretty clearcut, but it's repeated very heavily in the movie. Mr Ping may not be his father, but he is his dad. No matter where he came from, Po is Mr Pings son through and through and he very much loves him.

The scene where Po has been knocked into a river and saved by the Soothsayer, she says the same thing that Ping does. He didn't have a happy beginning, but what matters is who he is, and what he chooses to do now.

And the montage plays everything hes done up until now, but also empathizes the moments between Ping and Po. The last thing he sees in his mind is Ping being a dad, because he is Po's dad! Whatever happened before doesn't have bearing for who Po chooses to be. So when he chooses to be the son of a goose and the Dragon Warrior, nothing he finds out can change that.

Because Dragon Warrior or not, Po is Ping's son! Right?

Kung Fu Panda 3: "He's hurt. He's confused. And he still has to save the World! He needs both his dads." - Ping

"I realized that having you in his life doesn't mean less for me. It means more for Po." - Ping

And

"I'm not trying to turn you into me. I'm trying to turn you into you!" - Shifu

(Love how often Shifu and Ping mirror each other's roles btw they're both so important)

So these are a little less on the nose, but again super important. No matter what Po is going through, he still has to fulfill his destiny, and giving him support while he does so is the best they can do. Ping was initially worried of Li Shan stealing Po away, but realizes that bonding with his biological father doesn't take him away from Ping, just more love and support for Po.

But also, Po learning that he doesn't have to change drastically to reach his true potential. When Ping and Li Shan stand on the small platform and tell Po that they can help, along with all other pandas, Po has the realization that he can't turn them into him, just as Shifu can't turn him into Shifu, or Li Shan can't turn him into a typical panda.

Ping doesn't say a direct quote to mirror Shifu's, but he did initiate talking to Li Shan after Po and Li Shan had the liar reveal. Li never had the experience of having an arguement with his child, but Ping obviously does. So he takes it upon himself to keep being the rock that Po can lean on by talking to Li Shan and helping him realize that they have to be there for Po, no matter what happens.

Because again. Po is hurt. Po is confused. But he still has to save the world. He needs both his dads.

I love Ping so much for being a good dad in this way. He really plays well as a support character and is such a good parent. Yeah, Po may not fit the mold the way Ping expected (taking over the noodle shop etc) but hes still so proud!!!

[p-redux]

So, apparently there's a shitshow brewing because allegedly Sam's latest date, Alice Panikian DMed with a couple of fans. Before I continue, here's a refresher of my previous post, showing Sam Heughan and Alice Panikian attending the Giorgio Armani Tennis Classic in London this weekend. 👇

Well, I'd heard in a few DMs that allegedly some DMs were circulating showing that some fans DMed Alice Panikian even before she was seen with Sam. I guess they noticed Sam was following her. The fans proceeded to DM Alice to ask questions about Sam and she allegedly replied. I didn't pay much attention because that's not the first time that's happened in this fandom. Fans have been messaging Sam's dates for ten years. Nothing new. Usually, it's to harass them, sometimes to show support. Many of the women don't answer but some definitely have. Again, nothing new.

Then, I got a DM from someone I've never talked to before and she tells me she's seen the screencaps of the Alice DM's, and she's very upset about them. She was upset because Alice gave info about how she met Sam, their plans, and then she talked crap about Sam's fans, and said Sam did too. Again, I didn't think anything of it because IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME. I guess for newer fans, it was a shock. Anyhoo, I asked her to show me the screencaps of Alice's DMs with the promise that I wouldn't post them publicly and I wouldn't post her name. Well, I'm keeping my promise, so I'm not going to post them. And just so that people who have seen them know I have also seen them, here's a quote from one of Alice's DM's, "Oh so this was a trap from his weird fans." If anyone still has a doubt, I'd be more than happy to offer other direct quotes. I've seen the DMs. Trust.

So, here's my take. Same shit, different year. There is NOTHING NEW in the Alice DM's. Nothing I haven't shared with the fandom for ten years.

Quick summary: Sam slides into beautiful women's DM's on social media. Check. Sam sends and receives pics. Check BTW, that's everyone that's out there dating and also some married people. Sexy pics are the norm. Again, nothing new. Sam tells a woman he wants to see her, invites her to fly out to meet him. Check. Helloooo, he's rich, famous, and gorgeous. OF COURSE, he's going to fly out dates. Who would say no? Not I, my friends, not I. Sam's hater fans or SamCait shippers slide into newest woman's DM's to get the scoop about Sam or to leave hateful messages. Check. Same as it ever was. Woman responds and shares how excited she is to be with Sam, their plans etc., not realizing she's being tricked, and her DM's will be blasted all over the fandom. Check, check check. Then woman, if she's feisty, reacts to defend herself, and tells fans they're basically crazy, she thinks so, and so does Sam. Again, check, check, check. Anyone who's been here long enough has seen this same scenario play out over and over again.

The above is basically what is contained in the DM's between Alice and the fans. So, back to what I said in my previous post. Does Sam hate his fans? NO. He doesn't hate his normal fans. However, the so called fans, aka SamCait shippers, ex-shippers, now turned Sam hates, THOSE "fans," aka bullies, THOSE fans, he doesn't like so much. AND WITH GOOD REASON. There are many things my insider sources have told me that I haven't shared publicly. One of the things I don't put out there too often is that Sam HAS said his bully fans who have made his life miserable, and the lives of any woman he's dated miserable, are to quote him "mental." That's British for "crazy." AND HE IS NOT WRONG.

So, that's it. Big Whoop. Sam is dating a hot woman, they're into each other, they plan to see each other some more, Sam's warned her about his crazy fans, not all his fans, just his crazy ones, she got curious when she received DM's from these fans she was warned about, and proceeded to defend herself. I literally don't see one thing wrong with this. Good for her and good for Sam.

So, if you're pissed off by what she said in her DM's, then you're one of the "mental" fans Sam warned her about. If you're cheering them both on, then you're one of the sane fans, and Sam definitely loves and appreciates you. Again, I know this with 100% certainty because one degree of separation insider sources have told me this directly over the years.

As an aside, it is also possible the DMs are fake, I don't know how to do it, but I know there are lots of apps that can produce fake DM's. So, for now, I would take it with a grain of salt. But, I actually hope they're real. Serves as a reminder that Sam does think SamCait shippers, ex-shippers, and Sam haters are "mental," since they HAVE harassed him for years. His supportive fans, he adores. Trust. That's all, folks.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Just a matter of timelines

I 💯 believe Storer never envisioned The Bear as a love story per se but romance was rather a closure/ending for his original movie script. My reason to believe this is quite factual: He said The Bear was actually thought of as a movie about dysfunctional characters finding each other -found family- in a dysfunctional (realistic) kitchen. Not a rom-com. I already talked about that here quoting his interview with the Enquirer.

That being said, I also figured by 02x01 that he had been converted (I assumed by Calo, but ultimately doesn’t matter how) and turned into a Sydcarmy shipper. I go over that here. That’s why his constant gaslighting makes me sick! When I found out that Kasama means together in Filipino and that its owners are married IRL, I was soooo ready to sue this guy.

Anyway, my point is that now with S2 under our belts we can read more into S1 than what Storer wrote originally when all he had was the movie script adapted for TV and no guarantee about the show being picked up for a 2nd season, however, the fact that the ending of the movie/S1 was about leaving the door open for a potential romance between Carmy and Syd as Braciole (Storer has a fetish with naming characters and eps) foreshadowed and that threshold was indeed kinda crossed in S2 (aka the most Sydcarmy season so far), especially in ep 02x09,

it’s important to notice the storytelling length pattern here. Meaning: Storer starts in the opposite direction he actually wants to take, which is what most great writers do BTW and it's not uncommon, ofc. So if he wants to dive into Sydcarmy waters by the end of S3, we can expect a full-on Clairmy renaissance in the first half of the season. You guys know how I feel about her and thus how opposed I am to that, but on Storer terms, the fact that we see Claire get her fucking way at first is gonna be actually a good sign for Sydcarmy.

I have my mind set up to have to wait till S4 to get what I want but with all this new info about the pasta decoding and the storytelling patterns Storer is showing, I’m starting to believe in a S3 Sydcarmy breakthrough. 🤞

There is NO DOUBT in my mind about The Bear getting a star this season or some kind of award like the James Beard that is usually what all Michelin star chefs get first, that’s what makes it so important in the big leagues. More about that here and here.

I have also mentioned that the star will bring them together and also break them up because it comes with a price. And Carmy doesn’t want the star, he wants Sydney and to give her what she wants.

She’s the one who wants The Bear to be a Michelin star spot, Carmy just wanted it to be their spot.

He could have been content with just that. So he will get her the star and probably lose her in the process (I bet but wish I was wrong on this one), which leads me to believe that in S4 he will get her back and that’s why I have my $ on the grand finale, not on S3 for Sydcarmy, but if Storer wants to take a U-turn in S3 as now that I saw this I'm starting to kinda infer... I’m all for it, sure! Unfortunately, he chose the love triangle dynamic, which I hate, to do that, but I’ll take it.

If S3 is Sydcarmy territory as opposed to pre-Sydcarmy territory, I’m here for it.

[foxglovepng]

TWST Overblot theory

CW: Spoilers book 6-7, this post is really long btw, Spoilers spoilers SPOILERS Spoilers for Malleus's age, grim boss theory.

So while I was going through book 6 (This was like when it came out) Idia made an observation and he theorized someone could be inciting these overblots. I looked over it as to what he said after made sense but I watched a theory from Rose Ember in which she discussed a time loop theory. I wanted to throw in my own two cents about an overblot theory I had been thinking about.

(As of making this post it is May of 2024 I am not up to date on any JP chapters, Crowley's card, or Heartslabyul manga book 4-Octavinelle. All of my sources I will be putting as I am taking direct game quotes)

I also would love it if at least some of you guys read this post and reblog I would love to hear y'all's opinions on this. I never seen people really look into it and I want to maybe bounce ideas off of some people on what's really going on.

Just remember all of this is just a theory...A GAME THEORY (RIP Matpat we love you king)

(Book 6 ch51) Idia was talking about how absurd it is that 5 (5 overblots up to this point) Coincidentally happened in 6 months "Overblots can happen when the caster overuses magic and builds up too much blot while experiencing intense negative motions" "It's a cascading effect that stretches back years." "And the thing that triggers emotional outbursts is the hardest to quantify our innermost feelings, or 'heart', so to speak a persons heart is the one thing we can't control no matter how hard we try." Idia's exact words. Now going with that statement and saying all of the overblots are just merely a "Coincidence" let's examine and analyze the overblots and why they happened.

Riddle

(HIS SAILOR MOON OF AN OVERBLOT TRANSFORMATION IS SO COOL IN THE MANGA.) Riddle's overblot obviously happened because his authority was being challenged as the housewarden from Ace going in a duel against him to everyone else getting fed up with his rules to defying him. Not to mention with the deep severe ties with his mother and her rules he well overblots.

Leona

His overblot happened because of his failed plan to basically kill off Malleus (He really pulled a long live the king here) from my understanding he gave up and the Savanaclaw students were like 'tf why?' he turned into an angry kitty and the feelings of being the second born prince and all that trauma raised up especially when Lilia went off on him (I fully blame Lilia for this). And he overblots.

Azul

His overblot happened from when Leona used his UM on Azul's contracts and blipped them away basically. When this happened he went back to that time when he was being bullied and was no longer powerful like he is now.

Jamil

Jamil's happened because well Azul thought it was cute to live stream his whole plan to the world exposing the fact that Jamil was essentially going to betray Kalim and well his deep-rooted years of being merely a 'servant' came up and he overblotted.

Vil

He overblotted because he basically lost to neige and was attempting to kill him (Almost killed Rook and the others). He accepted he had lost to him and will always lose to him and just snapped.

Malleus

He overblotted because of the announcement Lilia was leaving and retiring to Red Lagoon (Okay just leave your kids...ig?). I also want to say Yuu's announcement added to it because well Malleus is a lonely dragon who just wants friends and someone who is basically his father announced he's leaving and his friend outside of Diasmonia is leaving too.

Idia isn't in this list for a reason will get on with that later.

When it comes to all of these overblots in a certain sense none of them make sense as to HOW they happened. Coincidentally how is it that 7 students overblot in a school year especially with how rare they apparently are supposed to be. With them being 16-18 (Leona being 20 and Malleus being 178) You'd figure the eldest third years know the most to be careful. Plus if the staff is doing their job correctly all the students know to be careful right?

If it happened like once in a year that's understandable but 7 coincidentally? Leona had 4 years to overblot why all of a sudden??

I also want to point out something whenever blot would get built as far as I'm concerned they wouldn't even be using magic (Just having a negative emotion) and blot would built. Going by all the patterns from the overblots they get pissy it builds up they use their UM BOOM overblot. I think someone is personally targeting people to build up negative emotions purposefully and then they use a lot of magic which causes it. Having a UM like this could be entirely possible because look at the facts.

Book 2. It makes sense Ruggie would overblot rather than Leona. He just drank a potion that enhances his UM he was mad struggling he just GOT betrayed by Leona makes sense for him to overblot right? Not to mention during the Camp vargas events Overblotting was such a huge concern with just via their magic so why would the staff risk putting MANY students at risk of an overblot if they knew it wouldn't happen.

I also want to add Idia has a curse which has him burn blot and he was the first in hsi family to break that and overblot. However in order for him to thrive he needs to build it it's most likely being in Tartarus he built too much than he could burn off. (In Ch 6-51 it is also stated curses, and sealed phantoms getting lose can cause overblots as well meaning negative emotions and building power aren't the only causes to an overblot) There is a possibility from being around too many phantoms he built too much, but even then his family curse could have been burning blot during his overblot so Idia was probably never meant to overblot by any normal means (However if his curse wasn't burning off blot foul play could be involved)

Going by these facts the theory in question is a possible UM that affects negative emotions to be built up more and possibly a mood change. OR there is a pause on how blot is released causing it to build up.

(Has it ever been stated on how normal humans release blot if it's been built up...?)

ANOTHER THING. JP SPOILERS BTWWWW.

I cannot confirm my sources with this one so please take this with a grain of salt. I came across a post (I CANT FUCKING FIND IT) in which it translated if Malleus's ob doesn't end he will basically become the no. 1 enemy to society (Basically pulling an Eren jaeger). He's very powerful so you'd assume he's very mindful about overblotting especially if he's going to become the no.1 enemy of humanity.

I have some theories on who could be doing this.

1. Crowley

CROWLEY? Him and my other suspect are battling for first place but let me state my reasoning.

For the exception of Book 3, 4, 5? and 6? he was not present during the overblots and was basically useless. However he was present for book 1, 2, and 7. I put a question mark near 5 and 6 even though he was not present he was still in the general area. Via he was brought to Styx and he was DEFINITELY there at the VDC since it was a school event. book 3 and 4 he was for sure not present for.

We quite literally know nothing about him not to mention he's kind of a jerk face and will do anything to save his ass. For Jamil's and Azul's overblot this goes into hand that he could have activated his UM beforehand on them and the overblot started.

Not to mention during book 5 the headmaster of RSA was like "Bro I sense heavy magic presence" and Crowley was like "Naw you mad tweakin homie."

Two thing

He's Fae.

He has to be as old as Lilia or younger. But he definitely has at least 300 years of existence in his age.

HES A LITERAL HEADMASTER FOR A MAGIC SCHOOL

Meaning he DEFINITELY can sense magic so for him to blatantly ignore the blot sense with Vil either he was protecting his ass from losing his job or he is hiding something. Especially since it was an overblot If Malleus's magic was that good Crowley would have either sensed Vil's overblot or Malleus's Magic.

(If I'm correct an anonymous tip was sent in to Styx to check out NRC the anon in question was possibly RSA headmaster as it makes sense)

2. Ortho

Stay with me here

Ortho is from Styx and obviously Styx investigates overblots what if styx itself is causing overblots so they can study them and they are using Ortho.

Since Idia was theorizing about the Obs there is a possibility that he is not in the plan and it's Ortho plus his family and styx staff that's all in the plan.

(They could have gone too far with Malleus's)

It's merely a theory and I have no evidence to back this up

3. Grim

Quoting Idia's exact words ahem..

"He is seriously mediocre in every single way." "The preliminary report of him being a dire beast with high cost of blot density checks out, though." "He's a magical fusion of a direbeast, and some kind of animal." "He's as lackluster with magic as he looks...and his blot density COULD be phenomenally high."

Ahem okay.

So as we know Grim is a fusion with what could be a Direbeast and possibly a cat. Going back to exhibit A in which Idia said loose phantoms could cause an overblot he could be affecting the blot levels around him Yuu being the only one not affected since Yuu isn't from said world.

Some Cons tho

Using this logic Ace would overblot as well same as Deuce hence why I think he is the least likeliest but it does make sense as eventually Grim does interact with the overblot squad.

4. Yuu

STAY WITH ME STAY WITH ME OKAY

Yuu comes from different world and are trying to actively escape using their new plan MICKEY. However it doesn't exactly explain how Yuu got there since well 1 they are from a different world how would a horse basically cross the multiverse (Unless the Magic mirror is scheming against Crowley and needs Yuu's help that's a different conversation) we know jack shit about Yuu. HOWEVER Yuu could be subconsciously activating overblots since they are prom a foreign world (I'm basically thinking of that one mickey game with the ink brushes EPIC MICKEY) except Yuu causes them.

Cons tho.

As per the manga every Yuu is different every chapter and this would highly contradict (Also how tf are there multiple Yuu's?) not to mention Ace and Deuce would also OB.

[writing-for-life]

Sunday Mourning—About Dream Entities and Stars

Why Head-Canons Are Wonderful, But Forcing Them On Creators Isn’t

And as always: Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!

First of all: I don’t want to take anyone’s head-canons away from them, it’s what fandom is partly built on. I support them, I love them, I have plenty of my own. The Sandman very explicitly tells us about “books never written” in Lucien/ne’s library, and we can be sure ours is in there.

But that’s not quite the same as harassing both creators and other fans in an attempt to make fanon canon, and that’s what partly sparked this post. So if a super-long meta exploration of “Sunday Mourning” (and there is a lot in this post) that also contains a bit of fandom criticism (feel free to skip that if you just want the meta) isn’t your thing—this is your warning 🤣

Also: Massive spoilers ahead…

The theory that Morpheus forever lives in Hob’s dreams (and with Hob) as a dream entity regularly makes the rounds. And it’s a nice theory, and I get why people like it. I also get that “The Wake—Sunday Mourning” is maybe ambiguous enough to consider it a possibility (which then goes into head-canon territory). All good so far.

What’s problematic is when fans begin to leverage their head-canons/theories as “true because Neil gave it a like”, and then proceed to present them as canon.

Neil likes posts, yes, but he said *several times* and *very explicitly* that’s never endorsement of anything, but rather valuing that people put thought into stuff and engage with his stories critically (and he also said that it’s sometimes just a slip of his finger, but that just as an aside, you’ll find one example here).

So if Neil liked a happily-ever-after-dream-entity post, that means he supports your head-canons as head-canons because he always does (or his finger slipped—I guess we’ll never know). Again: In a way, it’s even an integral part of The Sandman. It also means that he likes the fact you engaged deeply with the source material, in either a heartfelt or critical way.

What it *doesn’t* mean: Head-canon is the same as canon despite both being valid in their own way. He said all of this a million times in a million posts.

Let’s explore that particular theory and start with an ask:

His endorsement goes as far as acknowledging that “it’s never only a dream,” and that “dreams are where the stories are.” And we need to stop pretending it’s anything more than that, even if he likes a few posts here and there (posts that go in all different directions, btw). Neil used his own experience with grief and mirrored it 1:1 in how Hob handles Morpheus’ death in The Wake and Sunday Mourning.

Here is a quote from the Sandman Companion:

NG: […] Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories—if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death.

HB: It also makes me think of Hob's dream in part 3.

NG: That was something that actually happened to me. [1]I dreamt about a friend who'd died six months earlier, woke up completely upset that she'd died, [2]and then realized I'd simply had a dream and felt enormously relieved... [3]and then I woke up all the way and remembered that she really had passed on.

[numbers and bold by me]

And then remember what happened to Hob:

1. He found out in a dream Morpheus had died and woke up upset and crying in The Wake, Chapters 1-3 (#70-72).

2. Then he had another dream that somewhat gave him closure and a sense of relief (Sunday Mourning, #73).

(Can I also just point out where Destruction’s fingers are pointing here and then contrast it with what he told Daniel in The Wake about “walking amongst the stars”, or Morpheus actually turning into a star?)

(What might the end of the story be? Who knows, but once again, have a look where Destruction’s fingers are pointing.)

3. Then he woke up all the way and felt peace (also in Sunday Mourning).

Make of that what you will, but to me, saying that scene was based on his own dream is basically Neil confirming that Morpheus has “really passed on.”

Will Hob remember Morpheus? Of course he will. That’s what humans do. Does Morpheus live a happily ever after in Hob’s dream with Hob? And would that be in character? And would he want his memories to be intact to make that happen? Would that truly be passing on?

I will explore why canonically, we don’t find much to support that notion, and why it would seem OOC. But if you believe it, it’s your personal truth. Should we call for the ending to be changed though to make our personal truth that of the author?

Life and death are our own, and it’s never just a dream

Destruction was in Hob’s dream (when Hob never really knew him), and Destruction walked away from it all. As did Morpheus. They’re both free. It was very likely (and I'm phrasing this carefully on purpose) a dream gifted by Daniel!Dream (who had a very long talk with Destruction during the Wake) to give Hob closure, and it seems straightforward enough if you read The Wake not just single-mindedly focused on one thing. Daniel!Dream is not in the original panel, but he is in the background of concept art of that panel for a movie pitch by Jill Thompson and Neil Gaiman, so we can probably assume it was always the intended subtext.

And what does Death say in Façade? Or what does Morpheus say to Orpheus, or to Delirium after he killed Orpheus? That life and death are our own.

Destruction’s life is his own.

Morpheus’ death is his own.

And Hob’s life AND death are his own.

The three of them are the literal embodiment of that sentiment:

One walked away and chose life.

One walked away and chose death.

One chooses life for as long as he sees fit and can choose death if he stops doing so.

It makes sense to put them in a panel together at the end for that very reason (and a few others of course).

That, right there, is already “more than just a dream.” It is the story, not just a metaphor. It is canon, and it is fairly explicit.

Would Morpheus ever want to be a dream entity with all his memories intact?

From this point onward, we get more into interpretation based on canonical character traits:

Morpheus living forever as a dream entity *tied to Hob’s dream* is canonically antithetical and OOC. There, I said it. He wanted to be free from the Dreaming, he even said so to Death (“But even the freedom of the Dreaming can be a cage, of a kind, my sister,” in #69).

But existing as a dream entity WITH ALL HIS MEMORIES INTACT (that alone should make people say, “He would never want this in a million years” because it’s the very source of his pain—he wanted punishment for Orpheus’ fate/death—Nuala called him out on it) would forever tie him to it. Plus, it would make him Daniel’s subject in a way. It would be, again, very OOC.

Also: Dream had very strong feelings about the dead NOT belonging into dreams/the Dreaming permanently, or the living building their lives around them. WHY would that apply to Hector, but not to Morpheus himself? Again, it makes no sense in continuity.

But Destruction was in that dream…

Destruction visited Daniel!Dream during the Wake. They talked about a lot of stuff that’s very relevant, I recommend a reread if you’re not certain (this is long enough as it is, so I’ll skip it at this point). And it makes narrative sense to anchor that in Hob’s dream for reasons already outlined (they might not make sense to Hob, but they make sense to us, the reader, if we are willing to see that “it’s more than just a dream” isn’t equal to two people riding off into the sunset together, as nice a head-canon that might be). What I *do* want to point out though is that Destructions talked about “walking amongst the stars” and again, where he points in Hob’s dream.

Someone said this somewhere else and drew parallels to Stardust: Morpheus *does* become a star (or returns to them, who knows), it’s all over The Wake. That star is in literally *every* panel with a window/sky after his barge has transformed. And what becomes of him as that—who knows, since we all know stars have some sort of sentience in Gaiman’s universe, and that “oblivion is not an option” if Death took your hand to lead you into the afterlife. Again: Head-canon territory…

Head-canons are beautiful

No one is trying to take them away from us. Let’s knock ourselves out in fanfic and fanart, it’s comforting and healing. The Sandman is a story about stories. Our stories are our own, and they are true for us, that’s the whole point. And Neil will *never* tell you your head-canon is not real, because for you, it is, and that’s all that matters. But the constant need to elevate fanon to canon really gets exhausting at times, especially if it involves pestering the creators, constantly being on their blogs/tagging them and trying to get them to confirm what we want.

And to those that insist we will undoubtedly get a happily ever after because “Hob’s dream says so”, and think the writers somehow should “read the room” and provide fan-service (side-note: What is it with this entitlement in fandom? The creator tells *their* story, not yours):

One of the main messages of the story is (already in 24/7) that stories only have a happy ending because we know when to stop, but that they ultimately *all* end in death. No matter how much people say that “the show is so much more hopeful”, that very line has already been brought into the show. They didn’t take it out. It will have weight at some point, I’ll put my money on it.

But show!Murphy isn’t comics!Murphy...

People point out that show!Morpheus is different from comics!Morpheus to justify we will get a different ending. Making Morpheus a bit softer around the edges seems, at least to me, a move to make him likeable as the protagonist, because it would be very hard to like early comics!Morpheus, to be frank. The fact that he brought Gault back from the darkness—I saw that as giving show!only fans a nicely wrapped end of the first season, because we didn’t even know if we would get a second one at that point. It also shows us that he is capable of change—a thing I am near certain he will repeatedly deny as we go on (he already did). So no, I personally don’t think it set him on a different path. There are even scenes in the show that very heavily foreshadow The Kindly Ones (the cracks in the window are overlayed onto his face in such a way that they heavily hint at the scar he is going to receive).

So yes, by all means, let’s have a bit of ambiguity in Sunday Mourning for the people who don’t like the tragic ending, but let’s also focus on more than just making everything about the ship. Their relationship is important, and even more so because it isn’t romantic—that’s why it grows and lasts (unlike Morpheus’ romantic relationships). But it’s only the tiniest fraction of what The Sandman is about.

I write fanfic. I give Morpheus happy endings, too. I get it, I want him to be happy, too. But no matter how much we write him in character, we will ultimately break character the moment we make him do things that lead to a different outcome. In canon, he is the way he is. And I am afraid to say:

I personally think he is also like that in the show, even if they softened him a bit around the edges and shoved certain messages down our throats that people who know the comics didn’t need, but newbs to the Sandman did (“I’m listening now…”)—it was a good move, and all of that made sense for show-narrative reasons. But not once did I have the feeling that he wasn't exactly the same Morpheus underneath it all, and we already had too much foreshadowing to think that we would really get a different ending.

Why chemistry isn’t confirmation of the ship

That’s another one: To turn one (!) show-writer’s comment that Morpheus’ and Hob’s chemistry was a thing, and that they allowed that type of ambiguity, into, “Their romantic relationship is canon.” These two things are not the same. And Neil said that Benton’s comment did not make Dreamling any more real/canon, but people conveniently forget that. He also didn’t deny it, he just didn’t confirm, because, again: He doesn’t confirm or deny head-canons. They’re ours. Let's please stop pestering the man to confirm our head-canons and fantasies, but that just as an aside.

It shows one thing, however:

How conditioned fandom is to make everything about romantic relationships (ideally m/m), even if they have nothing, and I say nothing, to do with the main message.

And it’s okay the wish for these relationships matters to some people, but they don’t have to matter to everyone else, to the extent that we expect the actual story to change. Why try to twist his arm into changing his own story, and the way he wanted to tell it?

So again: Head-canons are beautiful. Trying to get them confirmed by creators and foist them upon everyone else (to the extent that people get harassed) is not.

And if I'm proven wrong on this, I’ll still die happy, but I'm putting my chips down right now and say:

Morpheus will die in exactly the same way as in the comics. And if we get The Wake, we will get a scene in Sunday Mourning that can hold ambiguity for processing our grief, just like the comic can. And the shippers will say, “He’s with Hob, yay!”, and the non-shippers will say, “Nah, not what I saw.” And Neil will get a million asks and answer each single one with:

“What do *you* think?”

[11queensupreme11]

Im sorry but WHAT are these ancient fucking laws I keep reading about in so many percy jackson fics 😭😭 I read the books a long time ago, so I don't remember it, but I thought it was just a fanon thing to explain why the gods are neglectful?

OKAY IM REALLY GLAD YOU ASKED THIS CUZ YOU'RE NOT ALONE

ive seen so many comments in arsenic blues from ppl who believe that ALL the gods are being WILLINGLY neglectful towards their kids, and that is NOT true.

the ancient laws are a canon thing in pjo. it's been mentioned many many times, but through scattered discussion. here's a list of dialogues that talk/mention it (the quotes were taken from this helpful reddit post btw)

example 1:

"Do not judge the Lord of the Sea too harshly," the Nereid told me. “He stands at the brink of an unwanted war. He has much to occupy his time. Besides, he is forbidden to help you directly. The gods may not show such favouritism.” “Even to their own children?” “Especially to them. The gods can work by indirect influence only. That is why I give you a warning, and a gift.”

example 2:

“Permission to kill, my lady?” I couldn’t tell who she was talking to, because she kept her eyes on the manticore. The monster wailed. ‘This is not fair! Direct interference! It is against the Ancient Laws.”

example 3:

"Why show yourself now?" Luke demanded. His shoulders were tense, as if he expected a fight. "All these years I've been calling to you, praying you'd show up, and nothing. You left me with her." He pointed toward the kitchen like he couldn't bear to look at his mother, much less say her name. "Luke, do not dishonor her," Hermes warned. "Your mother did the best she could. As for me, I could not interfere with your path. The children of the gods must find their own way."

example 4:

“Luke, I care very much,’ Hermes said slowly, ‘but gods must not interfere directly in mortal affairs. It is one of our Ancient Laws. Especially when your destiny ...” His voice trailed off.

example 5:

My heart sank. Chiron was right, but it was all we could muster. For once I wished Dionysus were here, but even if he had been, I didn’t know if he could have done anything. When it came to war, gods were forbidden to interfere directly. Apparently, the Titans didn’t believe in restrictions like that.

example 6:

Hermes readjusted the mailbag on his shoulder. ‘Percy, the hardest part about being a god is that you must often act indirectly, especially when it comes to your own children. If we were to intervene every time our children had a problem ... well, that would only create more problems and more resentment.

example 7:

“Besides, even if the other gods suspect Hades – and I imagine Poseidon does – they couldn’t retrieve the bolt themselves. Gods cannot cross each other’s territories except by invitation. That is another ancient rule. Heroes, on the other hand, have certain privileges. They can go anywhere, challenge anyone, as long as they’re bold enough and strong enough to do it. No god can be held responsible for a hero’s actions. Why do you think the gods always operate through humans?”

example 8:

"Now, a god cannot usurp another god's symbol of power directly-that is forbidden by the most ancient of divine laws. But Zeus believes your father convinced a human hero to take it."

don't get me wrong, there are gods who couldn't care less about their kids and willingly neglect them, but it's veeeery wrong to believe that ALL the gods are like this. it's canon that gods cannot interfere in their children's lives, even if they want to. they don't neglect their kids because they don't care about them, they do it because they don't have a choice.

hermes and luke's relationship shows this perfectly. hermes IS a good dad (he's actually one of the best imo). he knew what luke's fate would be and TRIED to change it even though everyone knew it would be impossible, but he was desperate anyway because he loved his son and wanted to try and save him.

unfortunately, every attempt to change his fate always failed (because duh, can't change fate): he sent luke on a quest to "build him up as a hero" only for luke to fail and get a scar, asked percy and annabeth to save him, but they failed too (he even snapped at annabeth for failing to go with his son).

sooo yeah! like i said, there are some godly parents that willingly neglect their kids because they don't care about them, but that's not the case for every single god. there ARE gods who care about their kids, they're just forbidden to interact with them, and that means they can't raise them either.

[fruit-sauce]

Thinking about that conversation between q!Bagi and q!BBH, the whole "I've been here for six months, you don't get me" part. (get ready for the ramble)

That's probably that most clearcut line that could've been said, because it's so true on both ends! Bagi just got here, she's upcoming one month. She's seeing everything with a fresh pair of eyes, she's interacting with people who, unbeknownst to her, are acting out of character.

For example, BBH! He, quoting him, was the island babysitter for the eggs, he was constantly grinding materials, weapons, armor, and full gift backpacks for the eggs and even other players. The way he's acting now, placing mines, going against others, being suspected of kidnapping a federation worker- that would've been insane to hear of a month ago, but because she's so new, that's just how BBH is in her eyes! He's suspicious and only sometimes trustworthy, because that's all she knows! She wants to help him but she doesn't know what direction to push him towards, she doesn't know what "the old BBH" is.

And then for BBH, he's been here since day one. He's raised Dapper, by himself and only could rely on himself since the beginning! He knows what the code and the federation and even all the other islanders are capable of, he's built such complex and strong relationships with every egg, to the point where he blames himself for their deaths and why they haven't come home yet... and that's something Bagi doesn't have.

Bagi has her own, personal reasons (that i don't fully know, i don't watch her streams but i do love reading large walls of text about her lore lmao) for putting together the pieces. She's doing fantastic at that btw! She knows nearly nothing about BBH and is somehow figuring things out about him that no one, not even us ghosties, have figured out, his age? We didn't know he was "give or take a couple millennia" years old! Standing ovation for Bagi, she's so smart and she's finding out such new, mind breaking things, again, she hasn't even been here for a month yet!

BBH has been basically at the front lines since day one, he helped build the NINHO, he was there during the journey to see Bobby, he's fought against the code again and again, watched his son die right in front of him; seen his friends and family deteriorate and not be able to help- everyday was just another struggle, another battle, for nearly 200 days straight. He's been there, uncovering the horrors and the secrets of the island for nearly 200 day straight.

Stack on top of that his past before the island: he's a demon, the grim reaper! he was summoned on an island, probably Atlantis, and destroyed it; he fought in a war along side Cellbit; he's lived for millennia, according to him, making friends and families, only to watch them all die; he got stuck in a time loop with the only person who can live as long as he does, the same person who, for the first time, isn't by his side; and much more!

Bagi knows that BBH has been here for six months, but whenever things happen to her, its new and interesting and not normal! The older islanders are so used to being gunned down and be on constant edge, and that's not right! Of course she wants to kill Cucurucho, so does everyone else, but she hasn't been here for six months, she doesn't know that you can't just put a cage around it, or hit it enough times, because she wasn't there to see everyone try that! She has new and fresh determination to figure out how to take down Cucurucho that no one else has! And I love that about her! Bagi has such a unique perspective on things that people like Cellbit or Philza or BBH or whoever need! Yes, there are patterns and reptation to things that they know, but Bagi can find things outside the box, connect dots that wouldn't typically be connected...

AUGH BAGI IS SO COOL AND I LOVE HER!!! I can't wait for more events and lore with her, even if its not for her specifically, I just love seeing her there <3

[klonnieshippersclub]

Okay so I read summoned witch(AMAZING BTW!!!!) and it made me think. If Klaus and Bonnie were in a intimate relationship(not official) and Bonnie’s in love and shit and Caroline comes along trying to get with him. What do you believe would happen?

The Summoned Witch by Szajnie on AO3 : TVD/TO AU: Hope Mikaelson needs help. At seven years old, she's not strong enough to protect the people she cares about from the dangers that surround them. What she needs is a bigger witch. So she summons one. Please check out this fanfic and their other works!

I love Szajnie’s work, but I think there was some common misconception that Klaus was entertaining them both at the same time sexually. Szajnie confirmed that wasn’t the case. Though Klaus was showing signs of being interesting and flirting with them both and emotionally distancing himself from Bonnie. Which to Bonnie was a bigger emotional betrayal.

Back to your question. Bonnie’s very direct when she needs to be. It is on TVD for not allowing her emotions to be more present constantly or having other characters discuss her feelings. That does not mean signs aren’t there! The first time when Bonnie found out Jeremy was seeing his exes, she admitted she wasn’t okay with it and then broke up with him because she believed she deserved better than that and couldn’t deal with him cheating. The second time when Bonnie thinks Jeremy is betraying her. She calls out, points out the things Liv has done and even questioned Jeremy’s weird behavior. Then tells him and I quote: “Don’t put me in a position where I have to question you,” (5X18) - Now I prefer the deleted scene version to this scene where Bonnie said she feels like she’s being cheated on again because their is real acknowledgement that she has her own insecurities.

Bonnie would call Klaus out or talk to Caroline privately. I could even see her calling them out together. If Bonnie sees nothing has changed and she still has to compete, she’s out and it’s fuck that shit and them. Period. Klaus is loyal to those who are loyal to him so I don’t see Bonnie having to worry!

If anyone wants to have more fanfic discussions please send in questions!

[nonbinaryspy]

Meta: Titania and Knightly Devotion

My favorite way to read Titania is that in spirit, she never stopped being a knight. When Ike brings up her past as a Crimean knight, she isn't particularly pleased it's being discussed, and alludes to having a lot to worry about. Still, her Tellius Recollection profile says that "she is not ashamed of bearing the title of 'Paladin.'" Meanwhile, Greil and Elena's past gives a good indication of what Titania might have meant about her worries.

Back when Greil killed Elena and the villagers, and had to flee Gallia with his children—one of whom had amnesia and the other of whom was only a little older than a toddler—I've always assumed Titania went with him. It's stated in the Tellius Recollection book that she has been with the company since its inception, but IIRC, we don't know anything about this time from her perspective. What did she know about the medallion? How must she have felt, learning what Greil had done, when Elena was also her friend? Did she mourn Elena privately for Greil's sake, as she would later try to contain her grief for Greil?

Regardless, leaving the knights to join this broken family was a big decision. She doesn't seem to harbor any ill will toward the royal family or the knights, even getting defensive of them in chapter four while debating how Daein's invasion will turn out. Her choice demonstrates great loyalty to Greil. She certainly admires many things about him—his strength, his love of his family, and his values, which she shares. Those values contain arguably the main difference between her life now and her time as a royal knight.

As the Greil Mercenaries' captain, she helps people regardless of their status rather than focusing on serving the royal family. She serves Crimea and its common good with as much dedication as any knight, but she is able to do it in a more direct way than a knight perhaps would, without the trappings of politics. However, her Tellius Recollection profile lists her likes as justice and honesty, very knightly virtues. One of her design notes even says that "traces of her time in the Crimean Royal Knights remain." I imagine this is referring to elements of her visual design and her proper bearing, but I think it goes deeper.

Parts of the plot emphasize sacrifice as an ideal of knights, while also questioning it when Elincia refuses to let Geoffrey sacrifice himself (A post about this is absolutely coming soon, btw.). Titania, in deciding to follow Greil, sacrificed whatever her old ambitions had been as a knight. She continues to focus on taking care of others while hiding her own feelings. Even when Greil dies, she mourns him in private while working to keep the company together. Though Ike suggests that Titania loved Greil, it seems to have been a selfless love, not one where she looked for anything in return. That said, unlike a knight who might be expected to die for their liege, she lives so she can continue to support the mercenaries. This is even shown in one of her retreat quotes, where she initially intends to sacrifice herself for Crimea as one of its knights would, but withdraws at Ike's command:

Titania: Urgh! Ah… …I can still… …can still…fight… Ike: Stop it, Titania! That wound could kill you! Hurry up and retreat! Titania: For Crimea… I must… This war hangs in the balance… I cannot withdraw… Ike: No, that’s why you have to withdraw! I need you alive! We’ll be all right! Believe in us! Titania: I understand…Ike. And I’m sorry.

Just as Titania is too important to the plot to succumb to permadeath in PoR, she is too treasured within the group for her sacrifice to be accepted.

Titania has many roles within the group. She's a mother figure to Ike and Mist, of course—this is especially apparent in her Mist supports, where she's particularly doting. She tries to get Mist to relax, helps her with chores, goes shopping in town with her, buys her a dress, and even compares her own role to Elena's while offering herself as a confidant. If she left Gallia with Greil, then she would have literally been with Ike as long as he can remember.

But she's also a mentor who helps Ike finish his training after his father dies, and an advisor who guides him in both practical and moral concerns. She represents his conscience throughout the game. Even her Rhys supports feature her expressing concern that Ike may be tempted away from the ideals his father represented re: helping others regardless of reward, though she becomes certain that won't happen. She's Greil and Ike's second in command who they can trust to put in charge due to her calm demeanor and steady ideals.

But if you think of her as almost treating herself like Greil's knight, then doesn't that cast her relationships with Ike and Mist in the same light? She protects them. She supports them without question, and puts her faith in Ike to lead the group on a virtuous path. Despite having very personal relationships with them, she remains formal, stoic, and chivalrous, like a proper knight, rather than fitting the image of a rowdy mercenary. She's been with Greil for far longer than she was a Crimean knight, but she truly earns the title of paladin.

What really sells me on this reading is her A support with Ike, which I'm going to include in its entirety because it's one of my favorites:

Ike: Titania? I wish to thank you. Titania: W-what? What’s with all the formality? Ike: There’s no guarantee that any of us will see tomorrow, and I want to tell you this while it’s still in my head. Will you listen? Titania: Um… All right, but…what’s with you? And what have I done to deserve your thanks? Ike: You have done much. You helped my father build this company. He had lost his wife and had two young children to care for… I wish to thank you for that. Titania: …Oh, Ike… Ike: I’ve taken everything in my life for granted, and it was all possible because of you. My thanks is far too late in coming. Titania: It’s not necessary, Ike. What I did, I did because– Ike: You loved him. Didn’t you? Titania: …!!! …Um… Ike: Perhaps I’m wrong. Regardless… I stand here alive today because of you. And I still want to thank you for it. Had you not lent a helping hand, I would most likely be dead. And my father’s life cut short as well. You helped to keep him alive until the Black Knight brought him down… You made his final years happy. Thank you. Titania: Oh, Ike… …I don’t… …Sniff… …Sniff… …Sniff… Ike: Unlike my father, I lack both experience and strength, but… I’m learning. Please, keep aiding and supporting me. Please… Titania: …Sniff… Of course… Of course I will, Ike.

This conversation demonstrates Ike's thoughtfulness. He acknowledges everything she's done for him and expresses his gratitude, and even guesses at her hidden feelings. It shows the considerate person that he's grown into, in large part due to Titania's influence. In a base conversation, he even finally opens up about the night Greil died, a traumatic moment that Ike has not shared with anyone, because he feels she deserves to know. This helps her come to terms with her grief.

What's relevant about their support here, though, is his formality. Given the presentation of Titania as a motherly figure, and the fact that Ike is even calling out her feelings for Greil, one would expect him to behave more personally here, a step more casual compared to their professional relationship. But instead, he becomes more proper than he is in even meetings with politicians. It's almost like he's recognizing the princely role he plays in her life—the person she's sworn to follow, protect, and advise. That gives him a sense of duty to ensure she's properly appreciated, and that he has properly entreated her for her aid. It's certainly not a role one would expect him to be happy taking on, but maybe that's what happens when the only mother figure you remember is a gallant former knight. Either way, I'm glad her dedication at least gets the recognition it deserves.

[marsbarsfrommars]

if you need to be mean (be mean to me)

star wars: the high republic | rated t | complete | 2,661 words | avar kriss & elzar mann, a little avar kriss/elzar mann | hurt/comfort, angst, little bit of fluff

summary

“Are you alright?” he asks then, his voice gentle yet heavy with concern. It makes her want to scream at him and break down crying at the same time. She chooses the former. “Of course I'm not!” she snaps, whirling around to face him with so much force she nearly stumbles. “Starlight is lost at the bottom of the ocean, along with Stellan and Maru and so many others, and it's all my fault!”

or, a continuation of their argument in sos #2

read

under the cut or on ao3 for better formatting

notes

I told everyone who asked me to write more elvar (I'm incredibly honoured by that btw) that it would definitely take a while, but it hasn't even been a week so now I look like an idiot, but at least I have this for you

this one is dedicated to everyone on tumblr and ao3 who commented/liked/reblogged/left kudos on my last fanfic. your support means the world to me and is probably the reason I was able to finish this so fast

unfortunately, this is not as fluffy as the last one, but I really wanted to write this because I feel like we don't talk about avar's trauma regarding starlight and stellan's death enough. she deserves to let it all out and receive the comfort she needs.

I need to be real with you for a moment, though. I struggle with perfectionism, and that makes me really insecure about my writing, and while I try to overcome it, I have managed to convince myself that this is actually the worst thing ever written in the history of fanfiction. initially, I didn't want to post it at all, but I'm trying to overcome my perfectionism because it's actually pretty hard to get anything done like this, so I have forced myself to post it anyway. that is actually not at all relevant to the fanfic itself, but I needed to get this off my chest. anyways, I hope this isn't as bad as I think it is and you actually enjoy it

what avar and elzar say to each other during the first argument at the beginning of this will probably seem familiar to you because those are direct quotes from the comic. everything after that is written by me only.

also, english isn't my first language, so please just ignore any grammar/spelling mistakes

content warning for survivor's guilt, loss of a loved one (stellan in this case) and description of the start of a panic attack, but it's not more severe/graphic than in the books

“I am going into Nihil territory. I will find their leaders and bring them to justice,” she said when they fought that afternoon, the anger clear in her voice but not fully masking the still-audible edge of desperation.

Elzar looked taken aback. “Wait, you're leaving? After I just told you…” he hesitated then, like he just realised something. “Is that why? Because of what I did?”

It wasn't; of course it wasn't; she would never dream of leaving him because he had made a mistake. Normally, she would have explained herself and told him that she wanted to leave because of her own mistakes, not his, but she was too shaken up to properly explain herself, and he continued talking almost immediately.

“Or… is it something to do with us?”

“I can't make important decisions based on us, Elzar. I am a Jedi,” she answered, already turning on her heel and starting to walk away from him. “And so are you.”

She left him in their tent and went to help with the relief efforts until dusk, when the Eirami disaster relief workers told her to go and rest. She protested, of course, but they couldn't be persuaded to let her continue helping them.

She debated checking on the other Jedi, but she couldn't bring herself to face them at the moment. Ultimately, she decided to walk back to the refugee camp, hoping that Elzar wouldn't be in their tent. Out of all the people here, he was the one she wanted to see the least.

When Avar opens the door to the tent now, it's empty, and she lets out a breath of relief. Maybe I really should rest for a while, she thinks, even though deep down she knows she won't be able to, despite her tiredness. Nevertheless, she strips off her torn and singed cloak and washes her hands and face at the small sink in the corner.

Someone placed water and a small pile of ration bars on the low table between the bunks while she was away. Avar unwraps a bar and takes a bite. It tastes like nothing, like it always does, but unlike so many other times before, she's not bothered by it this time; she has no appetite anyways.

She takes another bite and lets her thoughts wander, almost desperately trying to avoid thinking of Stellan and Starlight. Amazingly enough, she succeeds. Instead, her thoughts travel back to Elzar and the argument they had this afternoon, which is only a marginally better thing to think about if she really intends to rest.

I can't make important decisions based on us, Elzar. I am a Jedi. And so are you, she told him and she meant it, she still means it. They are Jedi, after all. They can't put their feelings for each other above the wellbeing of the galaxy. Not that he had asked her too; he would never. Both of them believe in being Jedi too much for that.

Deep down, she knows that her desire to leave has nothing to do with them at all, and everything with her not being able to face her own failures. But it's easier to not think of that right now. Instead, she reminds herself that there is no them—there can't be, not like it's supposed to be, because they're Jedi and because Stellan is dead. They are a constellation missing a star, a composition with one note crossed out, an ocean devoid of life. They are forever incomplete. And there is nothing she can do to fix that. She has failed them all.

The pain manifests as a physical ache in her chest, and it becomes harder and harder to breathe. Before, Avar had hardly noticed the panic building up inside her, but now it threatens to overwhelm her. She clenches her trembling hands into fists and tries to breathe as deeply and evenly as possible. This is not supposed to happen to her. She is a Jedi; she doesn't let her emotions control her. She's not supposed to be overwhelmed by them or feel like she might die.

Avar tries to push the panic away, but the harder she tries, the worse it gets. Theoretically, she knows she has to calm herself, but it's hard to focus on anything but the fact that she can hardly breathe. Every single one of her senses is solely focused on the panic, until she abruptly senses something else—she expected him to return at some point, but she didn't expect that point to come so soon and even hoped to be gone by then. The shock snaps her out of the spiral she was threatening to go down and lets her focus on her breathing until she feels the panic subside. It's still there, but it's less overwhelming now.

She feels Elzar's presence before she hears the door open. At least one thing is still the same. He pauses at the open door, and there's a moment where neither of them say anything. Avar thinks he might just turn around and leave again, but he doesn't. Instead, he closes the door behind himself and walks over to her, stopping a few steps behind her. “Are you alright?” he asks then, his voice gentle yet heavy with concern. It makes her want to scream at him and break down crying at the same time. She chooses the former.

“Of course I'm not!” she snaps, whirling around to face him with so much force she nearly stumbles. “Starlight is lost at the bottom of the ocean, along with Stellan and Maru and so many others, and it's all my fault!”

He doesn't seem taken aback by her anger. A part of her wishes he was, wishes he would shout back. He doesn't. His voice remains gentle when he shakes his head and says, “It's not, Avar. I said this earlier too, but you can't put all the weight on yourself. I know you blame yourself, but no one else does, I promise you.”

“And how would you know that?” Her voice is raised and full of anger, she's almost shouting. It's unnecessarily mean, she knows that. Elzar is just as hurt as she is, he doesn't deserve to be the target of her rage at all, but he's here right now, and the anger is simmering hot beneath her skin. She knows she shouldn't give into it, but she's afraid of what will be left once the rage is gone.

“I know,” he responds, still infuriatingly calm, “because everyone out there has made mistakes as well, and some of those mistakes have set something in motion that got people hurt in the end, but no one blames them for that. How could they? Making a mistake that gives people who want to harm others the opportunity to do so doesn't make you wholly responsible for the harm caused. Sometimes it doesn't make you responsible at all.”

He's right. She knows he's right, but she can't quiet the song of fault and failure the Force has been singing to her all day. It's as overwhelming as the panic had been before.

Elzar continues talking. “Yes, you've made mistakes that indirectly led to all this happening, but so did I, so did Stellan, so did the Council, so did the Chancellor, and so did lot's and lot's of other people. But in the end, it's the Nihil alone who blew up Starlight. They caused all of this. They are to blame for all the deaths and all the hurt.”

He still sounds calm, but there's a clear edge of desperation in his voice now. “I know it's hard to accept that no one else blames you, when you blame yourself.” He doesn't say, I blame myself, too, doesn't say, If you blame anyone but the Nihil, it should be me, doesn't say, Logically, I know what I said is true, but I won't stop thinking it's all my fault, but she knows anyways. Normally, she would try to comfort him, like he's trying for her now, but she is unable to comfort anyone right now, not even herself.

“But I need you to know that the galaxy doesn't blame you, Avar. I don't blame you, and I know that Stellan doesn't-, didn't… that he didn't either.”

And that's what makes her tip over the edge she has been so precariously balancing on. “You have no idea what Stellan thinks of me or if he would blame me!” She's definitely shouting now. “The last thing we ever did was fight! It's the only thing we've done the past year, and now Stellan is dead and I can't ever tell him that I'm sorry and that I didn't mean any of it and that he will always be my best friend and that I… that I…” her voice breaks, effectively interrupting her rambling outburst. She has to take a deep, shaky breath before continuing, only to find that she can't. At last, her voice has failed too. That's when all the emotions she had been so carefully pushing down finally spill over and she just breaks down.

Elzar is there to catch her. He takes two quick steps forward and wraps his arms around her. Avar allows him to pull her close and clings to him like a lifeline. She buries her face against his shoulder and starts sobbing uncontrollably. He holds her for what feels like hours and lets her cry for as long and as hard as she needs to, while gently caressing her back and occasionally stroking her hair.

Eventually, the tears stop coming, and her breathing steadies enough to allow her to speak again. She pulls away slowly, not enough to create any real distance between them, but just enough to look him in the eyes. Elzar’s been crying too, she realises. His face is stained with tears, and his eyes are just as red as hers probably are. She brings one hand up to cup his face and he leans into it like it's instinct.

Avar leans her forehead against his and closes her eyes. They’re so close now that they are sharing breaths. She can't remember the last time they've been this close to each other. She missed this; she missed him.

“I'm sorry I yelled at you,” she whispers, her voice hoarse from all the crying. “It's just… I miss Stellan. I miss him so much, and I can't stop blaming myself for Starlight and for never apologising to him.”

“It's alright, I understand. I miss him too.” Elzar's whispering too, his voice as hoarse as hers. “And I know that he didn't blame you—he would never. He wanted to apologise and make things right with you. He missed you, Avar, and he wasn't angry with you in the end.”

She had thought she physically couldn't cry anymore, but she feels the telltale pressure of tears behind her eyes return at his words. “If he didn't blame me, he didn't blame you either, El.” It’s the only thing she manages to say before she has to bury her face against his shoulder, as her body is once again wracked by sobs. Elzar is crying too, she can tell by the way he's trembling in her embrace.

She doesn't have to question if what he told her is true or not; he wouldn't lie to her, she knows that. She also knows that he believes what she told him. It makes everything a little better. Still, neither of them will stop blaming themselves. Starlight is still gone, and Stellan is still dead, and there is nothing they can do to change that. The grief is something they have to accept and work through, as is the Jedi way. And as much as each of them wants the other to be okay, it's not something they can offer one another. Elzar and her—they're as broken as the song of the Force and all they can do is hold each other so they don't fall apart. It's a painful realisation, but Avar is grateful for it nonetheless. It's better than the panic or the anger.

It's then that she truly realises how tired she is. Her body feels heavy with exhaustion, and she doesn't think she can stay on her feet a moment longer without collapsing. “I think we should try to sleep,” she tells him.

Elzar nods. “Yeah, we should. I can go and find another tent if you-”

“No,” she interrupts him firmly. She doesn't want to be alone tonight, not anymore, and she imagines he doesn't either.

“Alright,” he answers, and Avar can hear the relief in his voice.

They pull away from each other fully, and while she toes off her boots and takes off her belt, outer tunic, and gloves, Elzar strips off his cloak and washes his hands and face like she had done earlier tonight. He takes off his boots, belt, and outer tunic as well, but leaves his gloves on, which should strike her as odd, but she's too tired to even question it right now.

They sit down on the edges of their respective bunks, facing each other. After everything, the physical distance between them feels too far like this. It's something both of them know, but neither is brave enough to address in fear of overstepping the boundaries they've so carefully drawn up between them. It's not something Avar can deal with tonight, she decides. So she walks over to him, sidestepping the low table, until she's standing right in front of him and he's looking up at her. There is a question in his gaze, he doesn't dare assume anything. She cups his face again, this time with both hands, to reassure him and because she wants to.

“El,” she whispers his name. There's more she had planned to say, but all the words are wiped from her head when his hands find her hips. This doesn't need to be discussed; they understand each other just fine without words. He gently squeezes her hips before letting go and scooting back on the narrow bunk. She climbs in beside him. It's clearly not made for two adult humans to comfortably sleep next to each other, but they make it work. They lie down side by side, faces turned to each other, and Elzar pulls the blanket over both of them. They don't speak, both of them are too exhausted to have a conversation.

Elzar softly brushes his lips against her forehead in lieu of saying good night, and she presses her hand against his chest, right over his heart.

They fall asleep like this. Lying on their sides, facing each other, arms slung over waists and legs intertwined. It's a surprisingly deep and restful sleep considering the events of the day. For a moment, it feels like maybe they'll be okay after all.

In the end, though, that night changes very little in the grand scheme of things. Avar still leaves in the morning. She wakes before he does and slips out of his arms and the bunk as quietly as possible. As much as it hurts her to leave Elzar like this, she knows in her heart that she can't go back to Coruscant. She can't face her own failures, so she tells herself someone needs to be out there fighting the Nihil and runs, even if she hates herself for it a little.

(Six days later, the Stormwall goes up and she's trapped in the Occlusion Zone with no way home. Three hundred seventy-six days later, she finally hears Elzar's message and his words make her sob once again. Three hundred and seventy-eight days after she left him on Eiram, she steps into the Council Chambers in the Temple on Coruscant and he's there. It takes her three hundred seventy-eight days to find her way home, but she gets there in the end.)

[subwayfloorlicker1978]

tadc works better in the medium that it unintentionally conveyed itself as

okay. you’re probably reading this title thinking “but subwayfloorlicker1978… what IS the medium in question????” okay the medium in question is being a lore filled mysterious series with twists and turns and having an emphasis on twists and turns just as much as its characters.

now. this baffles me a little bit bc even though one could get that exact idea of tadc just by watching the first episode (and the fandom ITSELF literally got that impression. i mean its even evident in the fanmade aus.) gooseworx made a twitter post a few months ago that apparently tadc is made up of. and i quote. 95% character depth/stuff/etc and like 5% of lore. which is… hm.

which also baffled me! because my GOD was there a lot of lore foreshadowing and spooky (if you want to call it that.) stuff throughout episode 1. like WAY too much of it, especially if your main goal of tadc is to have it be a series centered heavily on the characters. not saying you can’t have background plot things going on, but like… 95%? seriously? i’m definitely praying she hadn’t entirely thought out that ratio before pressing the post button.

and that’s why tadc unintentionally comes across as a series with super deep lore, literally to the point where i’ve seen certain people unironically call it a horror series (which is wrong btw. even if you’re taking the c&a scenes + caine’s suspicious moments into account). it quite literally spends like 1/3 of its main scenes in episode 1 putting SO much emphasis on the c&a lore and the abstraction and everything else.

and the thing is. i dont entirely blame gooseworx for this. obviously it would be very important to flesh out the environment/world that the characters are in during the first episode (LITERALLY your first impression), which obviously includes locations like the lore office area pomni was in or the cellar where caine banishes all of the crazy people to go to. (oh and also even the topic of abstraction itself via kaufmo) but like..... there’s a reason why tadc has a game theory episode.

i’ve said this before and ill say it again. tadc and the entire “digital circus” thing and the implementation of vr headsets + lore into the story is ONLY an excuse for gooseworx to tell a compelling story about compelling characters in a cartoony wacky environment. its basically a guaranteed way for the viewers to actually see these goofy characters in a humanoid manner. however… you can’t just implement characters with these vr headset backstories and existential themes without it sounding entirely ominous. AND you can’t just drop a huge bombshell regarding the lore of the show and WHY the vr stuff happened and then go on twitter and say that its 95% about the characters.

and with the direction of the cellar and office scenes.. im not sure if it’s even possible for someone to make a clean cut resolution to the lore tidbits while still fulfilling the “5%” lore thing and not having it come off as giving off the wrong expectations. the direction of these scenes is SO intense like. some of these camera shots clearly put emphasis on small little details and the tone of these scenes pale so much in comparison to previous scenes that it catches you so off guard.

which is what makes them very well written! however they pack so much content and foreshadowing into themselves that its such a far fetched thing to say that only 5% of lore will make up tadc. that combined with the prospect of past lives. and also with the clear foreshadowing of jax being a morally corrupt person. what about the extremely heavy motifs of exit doors? there’s no way THATS going to just be gone after episode 1. goose, what do you MEAN there’s going to be corpse imagery? all of this ties into each other. lore and tone tie into each other too. come on.

but these aspects can definitely be used to craft a great story. WITH character arcs and character deep dives throughout episodes. gravity falls literally nailed this. and theoretically tadc could too. emphasis on theoretically.

also if the “memory loss” thing was actually canon and not something the fandom thought was canon (again reasonable misinterpretation because obviously if you hear pomni say “HOLY FLIP I FORGOT MY OWN NAME!!!” you’re going to assume she forgot everything else.) that would also work well along with the theoretical lore stuff if it was more emphasized. literally think of the vast opportunities for foreshadowing. maybe pomni finds out something about the other characters via revisiting the office that THEY can’t remember. maybe do something with like… reflexes and muscle memory or something related to “the mind forgets but the body remembers”. maybe use it as a plot point in relation to jax’s keys or his weirdly implied secret or something. IDK! i just think a lore and plot driven story in this environment combined with character things (50/50…) would be marginally more interesting than what we will be given.

okay one more pet peeve in relation to this before i go. deep breath……. i really hate how the cartoonish body language of the main human cast. GO AHEAD BOO ME. THROW TOMATOES AT ME. LET ME EXPLAIN OKAY.

one piece of media that i think does a GREAT job when it comes to utilizing body language in storytelling is duck season. it clearly humanizes the guy in the suit by giving him certain habits that seem undoubtedly human and make him feel very… alive. like whenever he smokes a cigarette but then quickly puts it out when the player gets near him bc he’s startled and needs to keep up a facade. like THAT. that’s what strikes me as a human behavior.

so if goose’s goal would be to humanize these “cartoon” characters… realistic body language that clashes with their digital circus designs would be a perfect way to make them stick out in comparison to the npcs or caine and bring out the fact that they’re humans in an environment curated by nonhumans. it would also help a little more with tadc’s target demographic problem i think? the characters having little humanoid habits would make it seem a little more mature i think and would also go well with my idea of theoretical lore-focused tadc. not saying 20 year olds CANT be into pieces of media that have bright colors and are very cartoony. im just saying. there’s a reason why there’s so much content slop of tadc.

[mcytdynamicrambling]

Hihi its me again bc I have thoughts about pirates again :D (btw sorry if this is rly incoherent its 5 am when im starting to write this and ive been up for an hour and i dont really have energy to read this over but yeah)

So i finished apos yt series yesterday wich reminded me of how Apo and Acho actually were, yk i used to tgink og that duo a lot when it was life becouse there is a lot going on there and they are similar in many ways and like idk

Like at first neither of them are exactly happy about getting an offer from "just" the nightingales and would rather be in different places Apo in the kites and Acho not at the usles at all. And like at the beginning that affects how they interact and how they have a closer thought process than most of the other nightingales. Also at the start neither of them really seem to know what pirates actually do in a faction.

Also when Acho and Gracie were helping Apo build his treehouse. He says that Gracie can help him build and then theyll get Acho to judge wether she was helpful or not if she was then Apo would accept being a nightingale and if not theyd call him a kite, Apo choosing Acho to be the judge shows that he cares about stars opinion. Then Acho then says smth like im not going to tell you who to be (i cant remember what exactly he said but it was smth similar to this)

Also just how ready they are to help each other like when Acho doesn't trust Will and they work together on a plan to make sure he can question him n stuff that I cant remember rn there where definitely more moments but.

The next part is all taken from Achos stream "the duel lore" and all the direct quotes are from there (I rewatched the second half of it for this)

In that stream specifically I noticed how willing Acho is to follow Apo despite acknowledging to the seagulls that smth is up like he says that smth is wrong but he's going to stay in case Apos just going through smth like???

"He's my friend I can't just leave... I have to have some sort of faith" like damn that line rly shows how Acho thinks of their friendship sometimes

"I'm right here you are not alone" like bro

"You're so worried about being yourself that you are being someone else, it doesn't matter who you are or what faction you are in Apo you are just my friend, who are you trying to be?

this this line is so good and it so descriptive of Apo but its also taken from experience yk

Like both of them are about defing labels like Acho says in the cinematic he's a nightingale that is also the richest pirate and really good at fighting, and Apo is always talking about how ppl are pushing labels on him n stuff

I have more thoughts and unfinished stuff from this one I might write on here later but this is all I have time to do rn :)

.

[libbee]

Venus in 8th house & relationship trauma

How many lovers have you had and how many did not give you trauma? When did you start dating, btw?

When it comes to venus in 8th, what comes to my mind is a sex magnet, obsessive and devotional. Stop losing yourself in your lover's hands. There is a desire to merge with and consume their lover. The best way I can think of to describe is like cellular fusion in biology:

Reference: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karyogamy

There is a lot of intense energy looking for an outlet. If not romance, she will direct this energy in spirituality. But before she will know her spiritual gifts, she will go through relationship trauma.

It can be seen that the most traumatizing lovers were similar to each other. I met the first one at age 13 and next one at 21. Both were similar in appearance & life identity. The first one ruined my teenage years. The last one gave me mental breakdown. Both these "lovers" were the most traumatizing points in my life. I was OBSESSED with both of them. Both were "secretive" and I met them in dark ways suddenly without warning. Both were predatory and manipulative. I idolized them both and put them on a pedestal. I did a lot of ego massage & codependent wife like treatment.

In my mom's bloodline, there is history of mental issues and emotional chaos. When I was 13, I hardly knew anything about life. But when I was 21, my life had evolved and I had a career, family life, hobbies. But I was infantile in the sense that I was impulsive and irrational. I could not stand being single and was OBSESSED with romantic relationships. This trauma was an opportunity to heal my generational trauma & psychological inheritance.

After my mental breakdown, I came across this content:

Some quotes from this book:

Romantic love always consists in the projection of the soul-image. When a woman falls in love it is animus that she sees projected onto the mortal man before her.

No aspect of the human psyche can live in a healthy state unless it is balanced by its complementary opposite. If the masculine mind tries to live without its “other half,” the feminine soul, then the masculine becomes unbalanced, sick, and finally monstrous. Power without love becomes brutality. Feeling without masculine strength becomes woolly sentimentality. When one side of human nature grows out of balance with the other, it becomes a tyranny in the soul.

One of the great paradoxes in romantic love is that it never produces human relationship as long as it stays romantic. It produces drama, daring adventures, wondrous, intense love scenes, jealousies, and betrayals; but people never seem to settle into relationship with each other as flesh-and-blood human beings until they are out of the romantic love stage, until they love each other instead of being “in love".

Jung once quoted a medieval alchemist who said, “Only what is separated may be properly joined.” When two things are muddled together they need to be separated, distinguished, and untangled so that they may later be rejoined in a workable synthesis. This is the correct meaning of “analysis” in psychology; to analyze is to separate out the entangled threads of one’s inner life—the confused values, ideals, loyalties, and feelings—so that they may be synthesized in a new way. We analyze romantic love, not to destroy it, but to understand what it is and where it belongs in our lives. Analysis must always serve synthesis in order to serve life; what is taken apart must be put back together again.

I unlearned all the default things I learned growing up. It was a complete rebirth in the sense of 8th house transformation. The source of my romance obsession was a deep need for self actualization and spirituality. It was a need for looking within and understanding "myself". I talk about "high value woman" but I automatically became a high value woman once I started self actualizing. I was more confident, more assertive, more stable, in control of my emotions, took time to read books, rationalized my feelings rather than be impulsive, analyzed my values, beliefs, character, flaws, failures, weaknesses. I know my insecurities and know how to handle them. It was a journey from a fucked up person to somewhat rational person. I still have my days of chaos but it gets managed.

This is what I suppose 8th house venus looks like. Self destruction and self development. However, is this the last time we go through this.......