#trauma mentions

[aspenforest732]

Bello Licentiae Chapter 24: Beginning of the End

Summary:

tw: classism, ptsd, trauma mentions, suicide mention, torture mention 'text' JSL Text thoughts

"Do you want to tell us why Deika City is flattened?" Aizawa drawled once Eri was in bed. Hitoshi stared at Akira as they grimaced.

' First of all, not my fault, ' Akira quickly clarified. ' Wildfire failed to communicate once they had cell service that the group claimed to have Broker. He's expecting me to call to talk about next steps. ' They coughed, a black globule falling out of their mouth as more started to pour from their throat. Before enveloped, they cursed and managed to sign, ' Supposed to warn me. '

Mortis glared at the doctor as they appeared next to him. ' You just took me in front of his kid. This is why Wildfire was going to warn me. I could've told you to wait a minute. '

"It's no matter, Aizawa knows the plan," the Doctor waved them off. His eyes roamed hungrily over their form while he sat in a spinning desk chair.

Mortis' eye twitched in confusion as they took in the dark lab. Behind him were rows of monitors, and in their periphery, they could see tall vats of purple goo containing what used to be people. "Now, from my understanding, I'm to allow you use of my high end nomu to remove brainwashing. Correct?"

' Yes, then- '

"And what are you to give me in return? A few analyses? Your quirk? Your body to work with?" the Doctor scoffed. "Shigaraki may have proven himself, but you have yet to."

Mortis inwardly bristled but focused on playing the part. Which part though? Mortis signed in a forced calm, 'All for One didn't make my end of the deal clear other than the limitations on my assistance: nothing I'm uncomfortable with. I offered the League my analyses of their quirks, which would lead to more efficient use and suggestions for support items.'

The Doctor hummed, making their skin crawl as he stalked toward them. He circled them, and it took most of their focus just to stop their capture scarf from snapping out. "I suppose that's a start. Tell me, did you know bodies that go through forced quirk manifestation can adapt faster to new quirks? We don't get our hands on many of those these days. Give me a high end..." the Doctor reached for their shoulder.

Mortis whipped away, hand going for a dagger as they peered into the darkness for potential exits. He merely tsked and waddled back to his chair. "Or you can give me Erasure."

Mortis immediately shook their head, ' Neither of those I'm comfortable with. I saw the files. People who go through FQM have their drawback exaggerated even further by more quirks. Even if I was open to the idea, the drawback would render me useless. '

"And Erasure?" the Doctor asked, lips twitching downward against his calculating facade.

' Not on the table, ' Mortis signed sharply.

"What a pity," the Doctor sighed. "Back then, I really wanted to get my hands on Erasure instead." At their lack of reaction, he raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Has the little street rat figure it out already? Perhaps your analysis will be of some use after all. If those children improve enough in one month, I'll consider granting my end of the bargain."

After confirming, Mortis started coughing up more of the black ooze, shuddering as it enveloped and deposited them next to Aizawa. They coughed a few more times to ensure it was out before blinking up at the hero, who looked relieved.

"They're back," Aizawa said into his phone before hanging up. "How are you feeling, kid? Let me get you some tea."

Akira nodded and sank into the armchair, soon joined by a quieter-than-usual Oboro. Bastard glared up at them and swatted the white cat's tail. Akira rolled their eyes and scooped the tuxedo onto the other arm of the chair, where he begrudgingly settled while flicking his tail in their face. Hitoshi openly stared at them from where he had frozen in a petting motion, Puddles' tail poking out from under the couch.

"So, is that normal?" Hitoshi finally asked as Aizawa brought tea over.

' No, they just got in contact with someone, and that was him bringing me to meet him, ' Akira shuddered. The tea slid down their throat much smoother than the ooze came up, but they still had to resist the urge to gag. After a few sips, they continued, ' The quirk uses familiar people like Kurogiri's uses coordinates. I need to talk with Sleepy Cat and Loud Cockatoo alone. It's about the other part Raven mentioned. '

Hitoshi frowned and settled further into the couch. "No."

"Hitoshi," Aizawa started in a warning tone.

"No!" He snapped. "Akira, you keep pushing us away like we're not ready for some grand stage. You keep saying it's too dangerous, it's too big. Well, guess what? We. Don't. Care. We want to help you, and we can't do that if we don't know what's going on."

' You also can't be targeted if you don't know what's going on ,' Akira harshly signed. Their gaze pierced into his, desperately trying to make them understand even though they knew that he'd already decided. That this was always going to end this way. ' The only people who know are people who know out of necessity, figured enough out I had to tell them, or I specifically allowed in because of their connections and abilities. Things will start moving faster now, and I can't put you in more danger. '

"We're already in danger," Hitoshi seethed, lurching to his feet to tower over them. Akira pushed themself up to stare right back. "You keep talking as if being a hero, even a hero in training, is safe. There's a chance any of us could get injured or die out there on work studies or even in a training accident."

Akira flinched, remembering the far too many "accidents" that befell Wren children. When they remained still, Hitoshi spun on their heel with a scoff and stormed off to his room, slamming the door. Akira continued at Aizawa's quizzical look, ' Kidnapping a Wren wasn't supposed to happen until two years after I got my hero license. If the League shows enough improvement from my analysis in a month, it may happen as soon as winter break. I don't know what the Doctor's plans are, but the sheer numbers they have... I don't know how long they'll wait. '

"In that case, it would be logical to start looking for targets while you refine your analysis," Aizawa said. "Zashi knows more of the theory behind it, and I know more of the practical side. Ask us anything anytime, but I need to check on Toshi."

'Try focusing on just the leaf, ' Akira suggested while watching Shigaraki struggle with his quirk.

He growled as his quirk slipped and destroyed another plant. "How is this even relevant? I don't need to grind 0 xp things anymore. I can wipe the whole boss!"

Akira smiled patiently and explained again. ' For combat, you can cause more pain and demoralize the npc's if you take them apart gradually. You could weaken structures without visible damage by targeting small sections. For support, you can remove infected areas, handcuffs, maybe even things like cancer if it's near the surface. '

Armed with a folder of lesson plans for each member, Akira had support item ideas for some and new uses or applications of their quirk for others. They mainly focused on control with Shigaraki, targeting specific areas and eventually layers instead of destroying the whole. For Spinner, they worked on the noises he could make below the hearing range of most people, as well as exercises to stretch the extra skin running from his shoulders to hips. While possible they wouldn't be significant enough to glide with, Akira wondered if Gecko was similar to Tsu's Frog in combining aspects from multiple species.

Mr. Compress knew his limits well but was startled when Akira pointed out that if his quirk worked through his costume's gloves, it wasn't necessarily limited to his fingers. From there, he worked on retraining his instincts to compress objects and people with other parts of his body instead of relying on his hand. Theoretically, it could work through his prosthetic arm, but he wasn't in the right headspace for that. Mr. Compress was already adjusting to one of the prosthetics they found in the tower, its Tinker signature remarkably similar to the ones circulating the black market.

Dabi had spent the most time training his quirk, so Akira emphasized the importance of being able to cool down with heat-resistant support items. There were some they looted from Deika City, but they needed to be adjusted to withstand higher temperatures and be gentler on his scars. Those would also help with the pain, making his flames easier to control and shape. Magne also had a solid grasp of her quirk and a good support item, so Akira mostly worked with her on how gender-neutral people react to her quirk and on the theory that more genderfluid or multi-gender people might react to it.

Twice was... more complicated. The more time Akira spent with him, the more they started to recognize that the contradictions he voiced mostly happened when he was stressed or had some kind of internal conflict. They seemed less like rapid mood changes and more like separate people. Akira was by no means qualified to help with his trauma, so their sessions primarily focused on interpreting what little sensory input he could get from the clones and figuring out how accurate he needed to be in measurements. Eyeballing measurements started with formless blobs but with practice, he started to get closer approximations of clones.

One day after training, Akira hesitated at the door. ' This isn't training related, at least I don't think, ' they started choppily. ' I... I don't want to intrude, but you know the paper I did earlier this semester? On Forced Quirk Manifestation? '

Twice's expression grew thoughtful through the mask, and he nodded after a moment. "Did you need more sources?"

'What? No, the paper's fine,' Akira flushed, trying to find the right words. 'We've talked about how Strangers have a harder time with our sense of self, right? I... learned about disorders like DID and OSDD to better understand how those can present in some cases but not others, and-' they rushed on, signing in a blur.

Twice held a hand up as his expression morphed into understanding, "Video games."

Their breath left them in a woosh. At least that part was answered. ' And... I've noticed sometimes you're... different? Not in a bad way, just sometimes you'll mention how you like something and then another day you'll hate it or the shifts in stance partway through a conversation. '

He sighed, sitting on the ratty couch and motioning for them to do the same. "Dabi did say you'd come looking for answers at some point. We are a system, although diagnosis would be dangerous and complicated."

Akira nodded along, relieved this hadn't shattered the tenuous acquaintanceship they'd built up. ' Do you want me to continue using 'Twice' or ask who's fronting or do you have a... civilian sign name? '

Twice patiently watched for a bit, only interrupting once they circled back around, "I'm Iroh, zi/him pronouns. Twice is fine if you don't know who's fronting. Some may start introducing themselves as they feel comfortable. You can ask, but it's not always clear even to us. Most of the time, it'll be Jin or Haru, both he/him."

Hitoshi drifted away as Akira spent more time with the League and in planning sessions with Aizawa. He spent more and more time with Bakusquad and Monoma when Akira was with Mad Banquet, even not spending lunch with the group about a week after their fight.

"Did something happen between you and Shinso?" Shoto asked a few days after Hitoshi stopped eating with them.

' He's getting a front-row seat to plans I can't let any of you in on, ' Akira sighed in resignation. 'This was going to happen eventually, but things are moving faster now, so it makes a sick sort of sense that this would start sooner, too. '

Fumikage started to stand, Dark Shadow buzzing and distorting. "I'll speak with them."

Akira caught his arm just long enough to make him pause. ' He's well within their right to step away. All of you are, and I won't blame you when you do. '

Koji frowned as Fumikage's feathers stood on end and Dark Shadow recoiled. "We told you we're going to stick with you, and we meant it," Koji said quietly but with an edge in his voice. "Just because Hitoshi couldn't handle it doesn't mean we can't."

"We are the mad banquet like I told you that night," Fumikage added, a fire in his eyes. "We stand together in the darkness."

Keenly aware of Hitoshi covertly watching from the doorway, Akira shook their head. ' You say that now, but soon it will be much harder to stand by. You can't be associated with me once things start rolling because that will make you targets. '

"We'll find a way," Shoto intoned, and Aoyama nodded firmly.

Akira looked to the latter in surprise. He knew what they were doing, and he still... They shoved down the small voice of hope that maybe they were wrong about this. Hitoshi already proved them right, and they couldn't be disappointed if they expected the worst.

With a month left before final exams, work studies ended so they could have time to study. The League was making progress, but they couldn't be sure it would be enough for the Doctor. With Aizawa's help, they narrowed down their abductees to MC Wren, who could compel everyone in a radius to follow a pre-written script, and Hijack Wren, who could completely control another's actions and quirk but remained incapacitated while doing so. Both could easily have an accident while focused on their quirks, and they were just powerful enough to be displayed. At their young ages of 17 and 18, respectively, they were also unlikely to have started torturing younger family members, so they were at lower risk for suicide if the reversal was successful.

"Today, we're conducting a joint training session with 1-B," Aizawa announced as the class emerged in their gear for heroics. He stood next to Vlad, each with a box in their hands with their respective class letter. "You'll be going head-to-head in teams of four to battle it out. The team to capture four members of the opposing will win, and you'll each draw lots to see which team you're on."

Everyone breathed a small sigh of relief at Katsuki and Midoriya not being on a team for once. Still, Akira groaned as Yaoyorozu pulled out a "3," making the last member of their team with Kirishima and Aoyama. While she had finally started putting on weight and had snack pouches, the rich girl was still a pain in the ass to deal with. Akira even got her for the Secret Santa the class decided on.

' Do you feel comfortable interpreting, or do I need Anii? ' Akira turned to Kirishima.

"I'm struggling a bit, to be honest, keeping up while multitasking," Kirishima chuckled nervously. "It would probably be better to have Anii."

Akira just nodded and motioned her over, explaining the situation as 1-B drew their lots. Aoyama had too much going on in the first term to learn JSL on top of everything else, so he was even newer to the language than Kirishima.

Notes:

I did randomize 1-A's teams and technically rolled for 1-B as well, but I ended up pairing up some of the interesting fights in canon. I thought RNJesus had a love/hate relationship with Bakugo and Midoriya, but it turns out it's just for Akira and Momo lol I debated putting the scene with twice in Libertias aut Mortis but it fits here a bit better I was so sad when I realized this is where their friendship was going. They were gonna be siblings to the end, but the whole situation is so unfair for Hitoshi, and Fumikage wound up with the scenes that pushed his friendship with Akira into the place Hitoshi was supposed to occupy.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[prokopetz]

If you've seen trivia posts going around, may have seen ones about the baculum, a bone in the penis whose purpose is to help support erections which is present in most placental mammals, including non-human apes, but which is conspicuously absent in humans.

Those posts typically don't go into why this is the case, which is fair enough, since the question is far from settled. However, there are a lot of hypotheses about it, and some of them are pretty fucking wild.

I think my personal favourite is the recently proposed idea that, since soft tissue injuries tend to heal more rapidly and completely than broken bones, a flexible and resilient boneless penis constitutes a reproductive advantage in situations where genital trauma is common, possibly as a result of the development of upright posture rendering the penis more prone to blunt encounters.

Like, imagine humanity's proto-hominid ancestors going "actually, bipedalism is great" and promptly getting whacked in the ding so much that it exerted evolutionary pressure on the morphology of the penis.

[catwingsathena]

My sister puts glasses away upside down.

Because our mother does,

Because her mother did,

Because her mother lived through the Dust Bowl.

One day my father sat me down and told me about epigenetics.

How the trauma he went through

As a child in an abusive home

Wrote itself into his DNA

And, in turn, into mine.

How he and his brothers,

In various ways,

Are all sick from it.

How I might be too, someday,

And I’m not sure I’m not.

I hear people say,

When will we get back to normal?

And I think of a woman born in the twenty-first century

Who puts her glasses away differently

Because of what her great-grandmother endured

Ninety years before.

[catabasis]

He sees you, and he likes what he sees.

Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm

[lostmf]

I’m not sure I deserve it ..

[queerexpressions]

“that he’d been vindicated somehow”

[nerdpoe]

Young Justice is always a little...concerned. With Phantom's living situation. Now they're outright afraid for him, and Bart has decided it's time to Ask An Adult.

It was the little quips. The tiny little things. Stuff that didn't seem to matter to Phantom at all, or appeared to be normal for him, that he didn't realize weren't normal at all.

"Oh, better not hope my mom catches me." "Doing what, staying out past bedtime?" "Nah, using my powers; she'd vivisect me!"

"Another stab wound. Great." "Don't worry Phantom, I've got the med kit-" "Oh, I'm not a baby or anything, I can handle it just fine. Just gimme a sec to take it out."

"My dad has better aim than that." "...Like, when he's hunting, right?" "...At what other times would he be shooting at me?"

"Huh. Not as bad as my parents place. Look; they have a decontamination shower!" "Phantom, this lab has been vandalized to the point of needing a hazmat suit." "Did I stutter?"

Finding out each others identities did nothing to soothe the worry. Tim quietly told the others that every time he tried to run facial recognition, he kept hitting a government firewall he couldn't breach. Phantom never told them his last name, just his first, and 'Danny' is super common.

The thing that really did it though, the thing that made Bart snap and run off to ask Max, was when Danny had a nightmare.

He was talking in his sleep.

"No. Don't-stop. Stoooop. I need...my skin. Mom, no. You can't...peel off...my skin..."

Bart didn't even wait for them to wake Danny up before he was standing in front of Max, talking a mile a minute as he tried to figure out what to do, with Wally staring in horror over a plate of waffles as he computed everything that Bart was saying.

~~~~~~

Danny had a dream about his mom and Skulker arguing about how to skin him. He wouldn't really call it a nightmare, because it was just Skulker, but the scariest thing was Skulker insisting to his mom that it was possible to skin him with a potato peeler. Dream mom was arguing that it was not, and that from a scientific standpoint that was a really piss poor way to preserve a specimen.

He hadn't been begging them to stop hurting him, he'd been whining at them to knock it off.

But when he wakes up, it's to a room full of worried friends and an old man who calls himself Max.

"Kid, I think we need to talk."

[thebibliosphere]

In case you were wondering how deep down the Batfam fixation hole I am, it's something I've actually been talking about in therapy a lot.

Not like, in a worried way, more just when my therapist asks me what I'm doing in my downtime, my answer always used to be either "sleeping" or "I don't have downtime. I have too much work to do."

Now my answer is "playing my Batman game" or "watching Batman show/reading comics/writing unhinged Batman x Muppet fanfic."

And my therapist is delighted. She's fucking ecstatic. She's like, "You have interests again!" and I'm like !!!! Because here's the thing.

Almost dying in 2019 kinda irrevocably fucked up my brain, like, a lot. Like a lot, a lot. And I've been grieving over that for the last few years as well as recovering from the physical aspects of it. And to cope with it, I threw myself into work even though I wasn't physically or mentally well enough, and that made everything worse, and well, if you've been here, you know.

My brain has not been kind to me for a long time. It still isn't. But I do the work. I do multiple types of therapy a week. I piece myself back together on the daily and try to remember what it means to be human and not just this numb static void that sometimes sounds like shrieking if you listen too closely.

And then randomly, a few months ago a friend bought me Gotham Knights on Steam, and it was like a light turned back on. The engine that'd been refusing to turn over for years suddenly sputtered back to life, and something in my brain went, "Hey, I remember this... this is fun?"

And then I started tentatively searching the tags here on Tumblr, and yeah, actually. I remember this. I remember enjoying this. I can dip my toes into this. This is safe. This is a childhood interest from Before the almost-dying-trauma. And besides, it won't get in the way of my work. This isn't going to consume me. Nothing consumes me like it used to. I'm too broken for that.

Except, haha, jokes on me because, for some fucking reason, Brucie fucking Wayne and his gaggle of chaotic crime-fighting children is what reached into my brain, picked up my trauma, and started shaking it loose like a category 7 earthquake.

I actually laughed about that with my therapist a few weeks ago. Of all characters, of all pieces of media, it's Batman that's helping me process a significant chunk of my emotional trauma in a healthy way.

The most emotionally constipated vigilante in superhero existence, and I'm weeping like a child every time I get an achievement in Gotham Knights, and it says some bullshit like this:

ID: a purple steam achievement icon that says: He'd Be So Proud Of You. Reach the maximum level as any member of the Batman Family. 6.3% of players have this achievement. /end ID.

(for context, Batman is dead in this game, and you are playing as his emotionally devastated children trying to keep it together. Wailing, gnashing, crying, throwing up etc, etc.)

And my therapist, who has sat with me through EMDR sessions and a multitude of other shit designed to rewire your brain, just shrugs and says, "Sometimes we need to externalize our emotions through safe media. For you, right now, that safety is Batman having a relationship with the Muppets."

And like... okay, yeah. I'll take the win on that one.

[headspace-hotel]

okay but like this is what deeply bothers me about the whole "tiktok is making people think every negative experience is a trauma!" thing

Trauma is common. Like really common. How do we accept statistics like "1 in 4 women has been sexually assaulted" or "1 in 3 people grew up in a home with domestic violence" or whatever number of people will fight cancer or be in a car crash or an abusive relationship, and at the same time doubt any suggestion that a lot of people may actually be traumatized?

It's in our cultural definition of trauma—that trauma is some extreme event outside "normal" life, and that the people that experience it are a sequestered group that is well outside the "average" person.

but like, even strictly Criterion A PTSD type "traumatic" events are...not rare. at all. You can be a hardass about it and say that you have to be raped or threatened with death or violence to have trauma, and that's still a lot of people that have experienced that. People around you. People that pass by you every day. People that appear and seem "normal" to you.

if you accept the idea that belonging to certain marginalized groups can have some traumatizing elements to it, "most people are traumatized in some way" is just the most blandly obvious statement ever.

but even if you're for some reason squicky about "watering down" the definition of trauma (lol), we can at least agree that most people are hurt, right? Deeply hurt. Most people have been mangled by their experiences in one way or another. People's behavior is guided by the fact that they are hurt.

One of my dad's sayings, which is earnest and not at all shameful or demeaning, is that People Are Broken. And in church settings (because he was a pastor and is still very devout) his measure of the quality of that church setting was always their ability to come to terms with the fact that People Are Broken, not just people Out There or hypothetical people but us, the people around us, the people we live alongside and befriend and love. And if a church thought of Broken People as an external category of people to be "reached," instead of a near-universal experience of being human in a cruel society, well that church was likely to be, ultimately, toxic. And hardly any church passes that test, because our brokenness is hard to talk about.

We can't admit that most people are traumatized because it means that the call is coming from inside the house, that the menace is contained within our society instead of being a freak accident/act of god/attack by a lone wolf outside of the normal confines of our world.

But this is the truth. That our world, the nice, "normal" world, the everyday world, hurts people. We are not gentle enough for other humans, our society is not kind enough for humans to thrive.

We have to try to be less cruel. We have to understand that almost everyone has endured something unspeakable and has not fully healed. This is why I don't care about watering down the definition of trauma. We have not even begun to fully define the wound. There is no virtue in conserving recognition for the most obvious and extreme human pain. Why would we need less compassion?

[aintnopartylikeaprideparty]

as someone who has experienced abuse from someone with a personality disorder, it's actually incredibly easy to not dehumanize everyone with a personality disorder. i've seen people do borderline eugenic rhetoric surrounding people who have npd, aspd, bpd or other personality disorders, and then be like "I'M allowed to say these things because i'm a survivor, and if you disagree you are hurting abuse victims."

and frankly? i'm tired of it. as an abuse survivor i'm here to say that you're NOT allowed to turn into a fucking eugenicist the moment you're hurt by someone with a personality disorder.

does hurting and belittling other people who happen to have the same disorder as your abuser, people that are already suffering and that are already looked down on by society, bring you any healing? does it bring you peace?

Being hurt by someone isn't an excuse to hurt others that you feel justified in lashing out on. you're literally in control of your own actions,

you may claim to be making a safe space for abuse survivors, but i will never feel any solidarity with you, and i ESPECIALLY don't feel safe with you considering i might have a personality disorder.

you are excluding a large amount of abuse survivors in the name of "advocacy". a lot of people with personality disorders developed one or multiple due to heavy abuse. in the aim of creating a safe space, you are excluding the ones who need a safe space the most.

[waywardsunlight]

Belos

[aspenforest732]

Bello Licentiae Chapter 9: Even Mistakes Can Be Wonderful

Summary:

tw: ableism, quirk elitism, trauma mentions, torture mentions, electroshock 'therapy' mentions, security threat, discrimination, audism, medical bias, grief, loss, deadnaming, death, mourning Second half of provisional licensing exam 'text' JSL Text thoughts

The tension snapped as Midoriya and Katsuki's groups burst into the room. Akira swiftly stood and snapped, ' Consider the second factor helping you get your license. ' They stalked over to their classmates as the room settled back into chatter, although a bit quieter than previously. Looking over the group, they nodded at the lack of serious injuries and turned to lead Kaminari and Hitoshi to their table when Midoriya stopped them.

"Hey, I know we're not on great terms right now, but I wanted your thoughts on a quirk I ran into," Midoriya babbled. "I think Camie has a Stranger quirk, although I'm not sure what its source is. She can turn into other people! Isn't that cool?"

Akira tensed and slid their gaze over Camie, who slunk into the room around the two groups. ' Really? What'd it look like when she shifted? '

Midoriya grinned, "It was almost like she melted going from Uraraka back to herself. The in between was a kind of muddy, person-shaped blob."

Jackpot . Akira nodded thoughtfully, ' Definitely a Stranger quirk then. Possibly secondary Changer depending on her limitations. Could she use Float Girl's quirk? '

"I didn't see her use it, but it's possible she didn't know how," Midoriya descended into muttering. Akira could pick out a few words here and there about applications.

' I'm going to head back with these two. Congrats on passing, ' Akira signed. Kaminari happily described their fight with Seiji while they walked towards the table, and Akira pulled out their phone slightly to type Camie into their prewritten message and send to Aizawa. They startled as Kaminari explained the folding aspect of Seiji's quirk, but perhaps it was a more common manifestation where the kid was from. There were plenty of electrical quirks that functioned similarly to each other.

As they sat down, Akira kept an eye on Camie while checking on Yaoyorozu. ' You should stop there and wait ten minutes before getting solid food. That should give you enough to work with for the second half, ' Akira said as they took the tumbler back.

Hitoshi glared at his phone before showing it to Kaminari and turning to Akira. "So we're going to find out via news now?"

Akira huffed, ' That's not fair and you know it. They gave no notification of the press conference as far as I'm aware, and only their devoted reporters and ones trusted by the Commission were invited. Raven and Murder God know because of the hospital and League. I was planning on telling Mad Banquet shortly before the press conference once I knew when it would be. '

"So," Yaoyorozu started, a hungry glint in her eye, "you're a legacy kid? I never saw you at the galas."

Don't snap. Don't. Snap. Akira took a steadying breath and settled on waving a hand dismissively. ' I was believed to be quirkless until I was thirteen. They wouldn't have mentioned my existence. '

"You got fixed, though. There have been several since then, though," Yaoyorozu said, feigning passivity but eyes burning with curiosity as she leaned forward slightly. "Why-"

' Drop it, ' Akira signed sharply as their gaze hardened. ' I'm not interested in your bullshit teenage politics, and I'm not going to galas full of people who pretend to tolerate each other for ridiculous games. ' The two glared at each other, table waiting with baited breath.

"Hey, did you hear the rumor that a Quirkless is here?" Kaminari rushed on as the focus shifted, "It's pretty cool they want to be a hero, right?"

Yaoyorozu scoffed, "As if the Commission would allow one of them to get that far. They're not even really people at this point."

Akira shot to their feet, knocking their chair backwards with a screech . Kaminari jumped, falling slightly into Hitoshi. ' You're no longer welcome at this table. You're stable, so leave. Any who share that sentiment should leave now. '

"I was just stating facts." Yaoyorozu examined her nails oh so casually, expression almost bored. "It's not like—"

' Enough! ' Akira interrupted and stalked to her side of the table. Silence rippled outward as heads turned their way again. ' Figures that an ableist prick would be quirkist, too. Now get out before I make you. '

Yaoyorozu's face morphed into shock, hands frozen as they got in her space. With a snarl, their capture scarf rose, and she scrambled to her feet. Yaoyorozu brushed imaginary dirt off a few steps away and strode towards the buffet while Akira glared daggers into the back of her head.

Whipping back around, Akira snapped, ' Anyone else? ' Kaminari practically buzzed with curiosity while Hitoshi looked down with a slightly exasperated smile.

Uraraka stared after her friend but shook her head. "That's so weird, she's usually not like that."

"She is though, ribbit," Tsu looked thoughtfully at her girlfriend. "It's just not directed at you."

Uraraka started to protest, but Shouji and the others shut her down before Akira had to. Nearby students turned back to hushed conversations now that the theatrics were over. Capture scarf resettling, Akira's gaze drifted over the room then snapped back to Aizawa and a couple security guards escorting Camie out, who had slinked towards the door during the confrontations.

As they slipped back into their chair, they shot a text to Anka to warn her about Yaoyorozu. ' And yes, Electric Rat, I think it's great that she's going to become a hero. '

"Oh! Did you meet her? What's she like?" Kaminari started to lean towards them but stopped at Hitoshi's hand on their arm.

' Quite nice, very driven as you have to be in that situation, ' Akira found themself smiling a little.

"Does she use support items, ribbit?"

Looking around the table, Akira took note of Shoji's casual interest, Hitoshi's closed-off expression, Kaminari's open curiosity, Tsu's curious head tilt, and Uraraka's hesitant smile. After a moment, they signed, ' I can ask if she'd like to meet you, but don't treat her like a charity case or a museum or zoo exhibit. If you want to ask a question, first think about how you would feel if it was directed at you. If it would feel too personal, weird, or creepy, don't ask it. '

"Do people actually do that?" Uraraka recoiled slightly, expression twisted in hurt. Akira nodded and texted Anka with the offer.

Moments later, she flopped into the seat next to Akira. "Hey there! I'm Anka Fuji or Apex. Akira said you guys were cool with the whole Quirkless thing. What're your names?"

As everyone introduced themselves, Akira scanned each of them for any red flags. They nearly choked at the odd, knowing expression Hitoshi gave them and signed ' What? '

' First names? ' Akira just rolled their eyes and refocused on her.

Anka fielded a few blessedly standard questions, everyone steering clear of anything related to quirks. Until, that is, Kaminari blurted out, "Have you ever thought about forced quirk manifestation?"

Akira's jaw dropped as they stared at Kaminari. They leaned forward slightly to give a "what the fuck" look to Hitoshi, who looked mortified. Akira turned back to Anka, who was looking at them worriedly but otherwise just seemed a bit uncomfortable. Snapping their mouth shut, they signed so the whole table could clearly see. ' I'm going to assume you don't fully understand what that is because I would hope you wouldn't suggest that otherwise. Forced Quirk Manifestation is an extremely traumatic process and should be illegal. Do not ever say something like that to anyone, much less a Quirkless person. '

Kaminari frowned in confusion, eyes darting back and forth on the table as Akira relaxed slightly at the expression. "Sorry, I came across it when looking at the effects of electricity in different parts of the brain. The articles made it sound fast and relatively painless."

' Ah, Shaker or Brute FQM. The timing depends on a number of factors, but... ' Akira took a shuddering breath as phantom shocks coursed through their body. They gently rubbed their arms to help chase away some of the pain before continuing, ' it's always extremely painful and often deadly. '

Anka finally spoke, voice far less enthusiastic than before. "It's usually forced on us as children or happens when we go through something very traumatic. So Akira's right, it's either going to bring up horrible memories of what was done to us or others in our community." She quickly diverted, "Were you looking for information on your own quirk?"

Kaminari launched into the neuroscience behind why he had seizures and how theoretically he could target specific parts of their brain to increase productivity or turn off specific emotions. Hitoshi looked like they wanted to jump in with why that would be too dangerous, but Kaminari was already going into the risk factors and why he wasn't going to try it yet. The yet drew a concerned glance between Akira and Hitoshi, but they silently agreed to talk about it later. Maybe Katsuki or Kirishima can get through to him .

Anka recommended a regulator in their costume to keep the electricity away from his brain. Kaminari grinned broadly and tapped a note into their phone while launching into questions about her gear. Satisfied that the conversation was redirected from sensitive topics, Akira felt a small sense of relief at the text confirmation of Toga's capture from Aizawa. Now she can finally get some help , Akira thought bittersweetly as their heart panged.

"Pardon me," a Shiketsu student covered in hair walked up. "My name is Mora Nagamasa or Chewyee. Have you seen a blonde girl about this height? I'm trying to find my classmate."

Akira nodded and Hitoshi continued to interpret, ' You'll want to speak with security. If you're the class rep, they should be making their way back to explain the situation to you. '

"Is she in trouble? Camie's been acting a bit odd for the past few days, but I didn't think it would become serious enough for security to be involved..." he trailed off as Akira shot off a text to inform Aizawa of the timeline.

' Like I said, security will talk with you— ah, there they are, ' Akira waved security over. ' It's a bit complicated, and they'll explain. '

As the last group of students came in, including the rest of 1-A, the large monitors flickered to life and showed the battlefield they had been competing in crumbling. All the buildings and structures were destroyed to varying degrees, turning the arena into a disaster site.

"We will have you all perform rescue exercises as bystanders in this disaster site." Mera went on to explain the conditions and the paid actors from Help Us Company. Akira frowned, the name ringing a bell as they quickly searched the Quirkless forums for it. They winced at the less than stellar reviews for discrimination and showed it to Anka.

'You should probably pair up with someone in case they try to grade you unfairly,' Akira suggested, mouth pressed into a thin line. 'Although that could risk them accrediting everything to the other.'

"I've got first aid training and experience, so we shouldn't be grouped up," Anka said thoughtfully. She started digging through her bag and paused a few times with nods. "I have some items that would help with stabilization and finding people. Tailman would be a good pair up in both regards."

Akira firmly nodded and brought her over to the martial artist. ' Apex, this is Tailman. Tailman, Apex. Watch out for discrimination with HUC. '

As the room opened up, Mortis took off with their class, drifting over to run with Siren so they could act as an interpreter. Dynamight, Red Riot, Chargebolt, and Alien Queen split off towards the rock formations while the rest of them headed into the city. ' Tentacole, Earphone Jack, and Anima, spread out and inform us where people are located. Twinkling and Sugarman, you're on breaking up pieces of rubble that can't be moved. Tsukuyomi and Cellophane, the three of us should be in different groups for extracting people. Siren, with me. Creati, Shoto, and Uravity, you should focus on supporting unstable structures and moving rubble out of the way. Deku and Ingenium, carefully move people to the first aid station once that's set up. Tailman, Froppy, and Apex, you know what you're doing. '

When Tentacole sent the location of the first few sets of people over the coms, Deku moved to take a kid on the surface while Creati and Sugarman went off towards an elderly man further into the rubble. Mortis, Siren, and Shoto headed towards a larger cluster of victims as Tentacole and Earphone Jack called out more locations over the coms.

The group cautiously entered the partially collapsed building and, with a little more guidance from Tentacole, picked their way through the lobby and to the stairwell where four people were stuck amidst rubble. Eyeing a partially collapsed wall, Mortis checked the width and signed, ' Load bearing. Shoto, slowly reinforce it with ice before we move anything. Keep a flame going to avoid shock. How are you all feeling? Can any of you move right now? '

"Minus points!" one of the adults called out. "You shouldn't need someone else to talk for you. Heroes need to be able to work independently."

Mortis grimaced but pushed on, ' If none of you can move, that's fine. We're going to get you out, just need to make sure nothing's going to fall while we do so. '

"Looks like we're good to move most of this, but Shoto we need more support for this part of the stairs," Siren reported. As he did so, they started checking the victims for concussions. Once they were confident only one of the victims had one, they started moving the rubble with Shoto.

Noticing a spattering of fake blood on one of the pieces, Mortis gestured for Siren to take it while they activated their speaker, "Sir, can you move leg? Any pain?"

The HUC member frowned but said, "I can move it, but it hurts a lot. What if it's broken?"

Mortis carefully examined the leg first without touching it, noting the fake bruising and mock pained gasp as they put light pressure on the area. ' We'll get you to the first aid station once we get everyone out, but it doesn't look like a serious break. Does anything else hurt? ' At his denial, they gently wrapped and splinted his leg to keep it from getting worse. Once the rubble was cleared, the trio confirmed with Tentacole that this was the only group in the building and made their way to the first aid station.

As the group reached the first aid station, Mortis established what care had been done and what they'd observed. The blonde girl in charge easily accepted the new patients and started distributing work among the other two heroes. Just as they were about to move out towards another cluster of victims, a large series of explosions rang out through the stadium. Mortis immediately checked for loose debris, shielding a few people with their clones as another student batted the falling pieces out of the way.

As Mera announced the second phase of the rescue trial, Tentacole announced over coms, "Gang Orca and dozens of villains approaching first aid station. Send backup to that location."

Grand charged forward and set off an earthquake, throwing most of the minions off as Deku froze. Mortis rapidly signed to Siren, ' Try to get Gang Orca. I'll focus on—'

Eyes wide, Mortis rapid-fire multiplied their clones, creating a barrier between the villain's sonic attack as it threw Grand back. Shoto shot out an ice wall and covered the ground further back in ice, trapping the minions or at least delaying them. As more heroes ran up to the station, Mortis directed their clones to start moving the victims away from the fight.

While Gang Orca was distracted by Shoto, they quickly checked Grand's ears and chest, listening for fluid in his lungs. With the kid only paralyzed for now, Mortis wrapped their capture weapon to support his head and neck like they had with Pixie Bob and started half carrying half dragging him away.

As Siren stepped up beside Shoto, Gale Force neared on a personal tornado. Akira felt a few of their clones dispel early, so they carefully had them lower or hold out their victims and released them once another dispelled. They waved over Gale Force and gestured to the next group of victims that needed to be moved. ' The ones in that section have critical injuries that will need extra support to be safely moved. Only take ones you're confident will not be further injured by your winds. '

"No, I should help with the villains," Gale Force scowled, already starting towards the fight.

Mortis stared at him and sharply motioned to the victims. ' Shoto and Siren can handle Gang Orca, and I can provide barriers for minions who slip through. We need more on evacuations right now. '

Shoto traded bursts of flame back and forth with Gang Orca's sonic blasts, using ice to block as Siren tried to goad him into responding. The minions gave up trying to free themselves from his ice field and held up circular weapons, calling them out as cement guns as they rained fire down the street. Mortis rapidly set up a field of clones as Shoto blocked a number of the shots with another ice wall and Gale Force finally started moving the victims. Between the several hierarchy levels and globs of quickly hardening concrete, Mortis was losing clones faster than they could safely make new ones for an effective barrier. Keeping an eye out for stragglers and any slipping through defenses, they took long dregs from their costume stores to keep up with their metabolism.

The faster rescue heroes returned, grabbing another group as Gang Orca tossed Siren aside and grabbed Shoto by the throat. SHIT. Mortis rushed Gang Orca with their clones, warping to start a new hierarchy chain even as the minions rushed forward.

Mortis flinched as a sonic wave tore through their clones, pulsing through their veins as they fought to stay afloat. Seeing Shoto's stiff body in Gang Orca's clawed hand, they fought every nerve in their body screaming to run. Come on , you can see he's not a Wren. Think. It's a cone, so... there!

Mortis warped just in front of Gang Orca, out of the attack. Shooting out their capture weapon, Mortis used the momentum of another warp to slam the villain away from Shoto, his grip loosening and eyes widening slightly in surprise. They darted back as the minions started to rush the area, only to be buffeted back with them as Gale Force rolled heavy winds their way.

Mortis unsteadily swayed to their feet, vision pulsing as they tried to get their bearings. Pain exploded in their left leg, and it buckled as concrete enveloped it. Mortis quickly warped, blinking through the haze as they checked on Siren, who definitely had a concussion. Knowing that would only make his quirk drawback worse, Mortis threw an arm around their shoulders and helped him walk towards where they left Grand.

Mortis bristled as Gale Force seemed to be working against Shoto instead of with him as their quirks that should pair well together instead dispersed each other. They tucked the two out of commission heroes into an alleyway and darted towards the pair, stopping short as Deku whizzed past, green lightning dancing across his skin.

"What are you doing? Dry him out together! Gang Orca probably struggles with hydration because of his quirk," Deku yelled at the two as Mortis extended their crutches to catch themself. Shifting weight off their left leg, they warped to the side as another earthquake broke up the minions. "Mortis, we need a front line to keep the villains back!" Deku called out.

Why is it always that leg. Gritting their teeth against the pain, Mortis warped more clones forward, rapidly building their numbers back up as Shoto and Gale Force boxed off Gang Orca with a wall of fire. The villains hesitated at their boss' containment and started towards him, only to be slammed into by Deku's Shoot Style and Mortis' swarm of clones. Reinforcements soon arrived, and just as Gang Orca burst free from the firenado, Mera announced the end of the test with the successful extraction of the last HUC members.

Akira helped Hitoshi and Shoto to the infirmary, insisting that if they were getting checked out the other two need to as well. The nurse poured dissolving solution on the concrete as he checked over them and a few others for injuries. After a few minutes, Akira could see their leg again and sighed at the large gash and inflamed area where the projectile hit at an odd angle. Gently pressing on the area, Akira signed, ' Either a nondisplaced break or bad fracture. I'll just keep it immobile and let Recovery Girl take a look. '

"You'd be in a lot more pain if it was a break, so don't worry about that," the nurse huffed as he applied a bandage to their cut. "Mild concussion for you, moderate for you two, so you need to be monitored for the next 24 hours. I've got worse injuries to deal with today, so I don't have the energy for your minor ones. Follow up with your doctor, and you'll be fine."

Akira cocked their head and corrected, ' There are a number of factors that go into someone's pain, including how they show it and what their pain tolerance is. I'm fine with your suggestion, but you should be more aware of this when talking with patients. '

Eventually, they made their way to the board, Akira standing a little outside the crowd with Mad Banquet to avoid jostling their leg. Everyone in 1-A except Katsuki and Shoto was on the board, and Akira glared at Yoarashi as he approached and apologized even as Shoto accepted. Anka was fortunately on the board, and the girl shot Akira a grin as their eyes met.

Looking over their results, Akira frowned at the points deducted for not talking, eating during the exam, and several other issues targeting their disabilities. There were a few normal critiques on their first aid and rescue protocol, but it still left a sour feeling in their gut. A 70 wasn't bad, but still. Other students with "undesirable" quirks and Anka received similar discriminatory marks, so Akira told them to report the results to their homeroom teacher.

As the class went to get their provisional license cards, Akira readied themself for the backlash. They stepped up between Fumikage and Koji and ran through their information.

The worker frowned and looked between them and the computer. "You're an Inoue, though. Why are you registering under your cover name?"

Akira sighed, ' My preferred name is Akira Mori. You don't need to know why, and that is my legal name. '

He frowned but entered it after a moment. "Hero name?"

' Umbra Mortis. ' Hearing the keys clack more than necessary, Akira added, ' May I review the information before you print the license? '

He gave them a bored look but shrugged and spun the monitor so they could clearly see "Umbra Mortis Wren." They pressed their lips together and stared at the man before firmly signing, ' Umbra Mortis. Not Umbra Mortis Wren. I am not taking the surname. '

"Don't be ridiculous, every Inoue does," he scoffed.

Akira sucked in a breath and shook their head. ' Not ones who choose to go independent. We're uncommon, but not unheard of, especially in the early years of the Wrens. '

"No one's gone independent in generations," the worker protested and went to turn the monitor back. Akira thrust a hand forward to stop it and leveled him with a steady glare.

' I am. So remove Wren from my hero name. '

"Is there a problem here?" Aizawa drawled, appearing beside them.

"No, sir, your student is just being unreasonable with their name."

' He added "Wren" and refuses to remove it, ' Akira explained.

"I believe they are being perfectly reasonable," Aizawa said, fixing the worker with a hard glare. "Fix their hero name and move on."

"What happened to Camie?" Hitoshi asked as they made their way back to U.A. on the bus. Kaminari echoed the sentiment while the rest of Mad Banquet looked a bit confused.

Akira glanced up at Aizawa, who subtly shook his head. ' She was sick or something, ' they signed vaguely.

Kaminari frowned and cocked his head, "Didn't you say something about security, though?"

Akira shrugged, ' I saw them with her, maybe she needed an escort. ' Fumikage started to say something, but Akira quickly signed ' sensei. ' His eyes narrowed slightly and his feathers ruffled, but he dropped it.

When they got back to Heights Alliance after the few injured students stopped by Recovery Girl, Aizawa stopped the class before they could disperse from the common area. "If you haven't seen the news already, you will soon, so let me make one thing clear." He scanned the tense students with a piercing gaze. "Akira Mori is their preferred name, and you are not to use any variation of Wren or their deadname. They do not owe you an explanation, and if I hear about any of you harassing them, the consequences will be swift."

Their class scattered, and Akira drifted to the kitchen to make hitsumabushi. As they finished setting out their prep, Sato slipped into the kitchen beside them. Akira shifted their ingredients to make more room as he quietly worked, gathering enough for the class.

"Is there something I can include to honor the person you're remembering?" Sato asked while Akira waited for the eel to cook.

They startled slightly and a small smile slipped on their face. Midoriya probably said something. ' Thanks. He liked konbucha, but don't feel like you have to include it. '

"Nonsense, that's easy to incorporate," Sato softly smiled. "Are you making his favorite dish or...?"

Akira shook their head, the smile turning bittersweet. ' We never got something like this, but he liked eel, too. This was the easiest to prep for ahead of time. ' A few minutes later, they put the servings into bowls on a tray and took the elevator to the roof. Akira nudged the access door with their foot and set their tray down in the middle of the roof next to a couple blankets.

Just as they started taking out the fixings, Akira looked down at their phone vibrating with a call from Aizawa. They picked up with video and signed, ' Is something wrong? '

"Mori, why are you on the roof? Are you alright?" Aizawa asked.

Akira straightened as they registered the pattern of his urgent run. ' I'm fine, are you alright? Why are you running? Is there an emergency? ' After a moment, they added, ' I just brought my dinner up here. '

Akira heard him slow as he sighed. "We get an alert when the roof is accessed for the safety of whoever accesses it. Please let me know if you plan to go up there in the future." After a moment, he added, "You're not in trouble. I was just worried."

' Okay, ' Akira signed as they relaxed, understanding washing over them. Although odd that it was directed at them. ' I can stay up here, though? ' At his confirmation, they hung up and resumed the tradition they'd started when they could do little more than set aside a bite of food for him. Like the other children lost to the Inoue forced quirk manifestation process, Minori never got a shrine, and the outside world never knew of his existence. Family members weren't allowed to openly mourn them for fear of the public uncovering a small part of the family secret. There was never even a grave to visit.

As Akira refocused on the rough drawing they'd made of their little brother, they watched night fall and the stars come out. They smiled sadly and told their brother about the constellations he never got to see and the space-themed hero they met. Akira spoke of their time at U.A., with Dabi, and the spark of hope they were cautiously letting grow as more opportunities opened for their plans.

As they finished their last serving, Akira signed, ' Happy Birthday, Minori, ' and headed back inside.

Notes:

today is not the day to mess with Akira lol so I wasn't planning on having a Quirkless oc but Anka just sort of happened. I actually rolled for both Akira and Minori's birthdays, and the latter's ended up being September 2nd. Decided to switch it to the 1st to spice up the exam a bit😊 I got the idea for what Kaminari's talking about from Electric Fool by drowningInWorkButStill on ao3 And we've got the last chapter title that's a Robin Williams quote. Fun fact I made Moss cry on live from the ending :) Me: ok quick lil interlude for Toga's capture then onto the rescue half 1300 words of conversation later... Me: oops

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[prokopetz]

To be fair, there are perfectly practical filmmaking reasons why cool guys don't look at explosions:

Most low to medium budget productions don't use compositing or CGI to put the actor in the same shot as the explosion – they just put the actor much further away from the explosion than you think they are, and use forced perspective tricks to minimise the apparent distance. There are a limited number of camera angles those tricks permit, and most of them require the actor to be directly between the explosion and the camera.

In spite of the fact that the distance between the explosion and the actor is larger than you think, mistakes happen, and the best way to avoid catching a piece of flying debris in the eye is to direct your line of sight away from the explosion.

"Cool guy slowly walking away from explosion" happens to be a very obvious way of satisfying both of those safety constraints.

[sentientsky]

hmmmmgrhhf thinking bout crowley and childhood trauma and abandonment and rage again

[larks-birdhouse]

some blackout poetry from a homophobic christian post <3 the last one is what was left if i turned on all the layers at once

please do not try to find or harass this person. they are likely just uneducated and do not deserve to be dogpiled

—

top to bottom, left to right

transcript 1: “Please pay for transgender top surgery. We are poor”

transcript 2: “transgender gay blasphemers slay pop off”

transcript 3: “transgender gays are cool We are all swag”

transcript 4: “transgender”

—

(tagging @fixing-bad-posts because their blog inspired this! thank you for your work <3)

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

I know the bi-generation was silly and goofy and all but like also

The Doctor getting to the point where they couldn't bear the weight of it all, Eleven and Twelve and Thirteen's guilt and grief on top of all that Ten already carried, and the only way to survive it was splitting in two?

Where one Doctor takes most of the trauma and has to stop and process it so the other Doctor is free enough of it that he can keep doing what they always have to do, keep running because what will the universe do without them? What will they do without the universe?

The self destruction combined with the most radical self love where they share the burden and the responsibility and the grief and the joy between them-

(x x)

They couldn't survive it alone any more, but between them they can