#twink that can kick your ass

[ridrawsart]

God, I loved Matthias so much!!! and Ortus!! I definitely cried during the Ortus and Harrow hug scene and then when Harrow's heart crumpled at watching Ortus, bleeding and struggling, I absolutely broke too. The whole thing with the ghosts in Canaan House was SO GOOD. Decided to do a design of Matthias Nonius because I just wanted to draw this bloody destructive poetic twink GOD.

I hope that Ortus, Matthias, and Pro are all happy now that they're together in the river.

(Also alternate versions because I have no chill lol)

[lukabitch]

Steve x Ash please 🥺✊🏽 for us short shorts femboy representation

The femboys will get their representation. Honestly surprised no one has actually requested something with femboys. Thank you for the request Anon! :)

Steve is his season 3-4 self(18-19 yrs old)

Cw: age gap, ooc probably, other then that just pure fluff and crack.

Very sorry that this took so long and if it’s too short. :(

These two are a comedy duo.

Imagine two golden retrievers that will not stop bugging you.

That’s them they are a menace to society.

They do pranks constantly. You can not get a nights sleep with them around.

At least they have fun right?

They are over the top when it comes to showing affection.

Steve literally babies him.

“Awww you’re too handsome!”

Pinches Ash’s cheeks constantly.

They can’t keep their hands off each other. One has to be holding the other.

They have been voted the cutest couple of the survivors.

Ash rigged the vote tho.

Steve doesn’t know Ash rigged it. If he did his soul would be crush.

Steve has to be the pretty boy of the guys. Which he is the pretty boy.

The both of them might seem pretty vain but they do care about people.

They are the ass saving duo.

Ash runs the killer and Steve gets the unhooks and heals.

Ash beat Franks ass one time for stabbing Steve.

The two idiots fist fight killers for hurting the other.

As you can tell they are very much head over heels for each other. :)

[faeriekit]

I feel like you’ll appreciate this flavor of feral brain rot as a true delicacy.

Ghostly Courting 101

1.) When you have someone you like, you politely sneak into their haunt and leave a gift that hints at your identity. If they’re interested, they’ll start hunting for you. If not, it’ll be removed without the other party feeling any societal pressure.

2.) For ghosts who died a violent or wrongful death, one of the most meaningful things you can do is avenge them. Attack their murderer, haunt their negligent doctor, etc. It’s not guaranteed to win their affection, but it’s a hell of a display.

Now, per the laws of unintended consequences, Danny finds Red Hood rearranging his freezer.

It’s 3:00 AM. He just wanted some water. Why is Gotham’s favorite son trying to leave him a fuck off huge casserole?

“Are you trying to propose or something?” Danny asks the liminal.

“Maybe???”

“Ghost weird or fruitloop weird?” Danny snatches his boo-berry ice cream and starts digging for a spoon.

Red Hood takes off his helmet to make sure Danny can see the Eyebrow of Judgment.

“Fruitloop then,” he says between bites. “We haven’t even sparred, and I sure as shit didn’t avenge you or anything.”

Oh. Oh no.

“Hood, why are you blushing?”

He couldn’t make out much from the outraged sputtering, but Danny nearly shat his fucking core out when it clicked.

“Is this about Joker???”

Danny was gonna take the stuttering as a yes.

Cool, cool, cool. He was calm. He was so fucking normal, it was fine, it was fine, it was—

Ancients take him, Danny beat the shit out of this guy’s murderer or something. He basically did a fucking flash mob proposal!

“Why the fuck am I even here?!” Red Hood screamed.

And the other guy’s fucking clueless!

I see, I see.

1: Which casserole. This is important. What casserole could the hindbrain of Jason Peter Todd's ghost instincts think is marriage material?? Is this like a comfort food can-of-cream-of-mushroom based casserole dish or like one of those newfangled sushi bake type things?? What did Jason whip out to prove he's marriage material??

2: What does JASON think is going on?? Did he hunt Danny down?? Did he just wake up in a stranger's apartment with a casserole in his hand?? Did he go to the grocery store with a list in mind or did he get home and realize he (for some reason) had every ingredient to make tuna casserole??

3: Wait. So does this mean that Jason thinks that casseroles are a good enough hint at his identity??? Does some part of Jason think that his most essential and core part of his identity is his tendency towards caretaking?? YO—

4: It's in a vintage pyrex. Look me in the eyes. This is not just Pyrex it's gotta be the old style pyrex that doesn't shatter in the oven without a pan underneath it. I am a connoisseur of white people culture and this is deeply important to me. It could even be one of the patterned ones. This is part of the gesture.

5: Danny is emotionally moved and it sucks considering that this was a complete accident

6: Jason is emotionally moved and has no idea what the fuck is going on. He wakes up at his safehouse one morning with bridal magazines in his hands which he apparently bought himself?? He's going insane. Is he cursed?? Did that twink who kicked the Joker's ass curse him??????? Curse him into...matrimony???????????????????

[iicarused]

More on that whole Alastor having a spouse thing (spoilers for ep5).

A dynamic I've had rotating in my mind is of Alastor having a partner who died and went to hell with him. They represent the stereotypical couple from their time and all around are just happy, despite being in hell. Before they died Al's darling helped him cover up his crimes. Being his alibi, lying to people and cleaning up any messes he might have accidentally left behind. Even on occasions helping him cook or even back using the meat he hunted for. And when they both eventually kicked the bucket they held those values as they did when they were alive.

From an onlookers perspective they come off as a couple who's madly in love with one another, still holding that adoration towards each other through the decades they've been together. They dance together, they hold hands, they kiss… But it's not love. Ok, let me rephrase that for you. They gouge out other people's eyes out of jealousy, they pick their next victims together, they have eachothers back through thick and thin. It's not love, it's deeper.

The thing about those two is that no one can really understand them, as cheesy as that sounds. It gives them a sense of solidarity, that there is no one else for them because there is no one else like them. They are the only ones they would consider… Equals. Heh, one of the reasons why they're so intertwined with each other is because they're both just so terrible. His darling spouse just seems more negotiable, but their passiveness is a ruse. Coming of as motherly/fatherly (whatever the gender neutral term is) easily reeling in any weak minded sinners. Their diabolical antis have Alastor weak. HAH, the demon/angel, whoever has Alastor on contract wishes they had this amount of power over him because he, is, whipped.

Oh, and we can't forget the hotel's residents finding out about Al's little darling doe. Either it was Alastor who mentioned them or Mimzy did through her retelling of how Al rose to power. Or they already meet them (Husker, Niffty), but nevertheless the crew has only heard good things about you. Much to their surprise considering how self centered the dear demon is, while Vaggie is weirded out by this her girlfriend is happy and wishes to meet them someday/night. And when they do meat? They weren't very surprised, they kinda already had an image of who they were due to Alastor's ramblings.

.

.

.

Holding you close he kisses your neck where the burn marks are most visible. You can feel his everlasting smile tugging into a frown against your skin, the mere thought of you taking your own life still makes him sick. How afraid you must have been without him. You lean back cupping his cheek with your hand looking deep into his sorrowful eyes. An unfamiliar look for the usually dapper man, it didn't suit him.

“There's no need to get so worked up over old scars dear, I don't, so why should you? Besides, I'm here now aren't i?”

At your words the radio demon saged and let out a content sigh, his lovely smile returning.

“Your right” he said, kissing the inside of your palm before returning back to snuggling with his lover.

…

I can't imagine the reader not having a twang to their voice, their own vibe, not radio per say but something like from this youtube clip. It probably wouldn't make sense for them to sound like that but I couldn't get it out of my head.

If there's one thing I love , it's when others explore the relationship between the two individuals before they went six feet down under. And one of those versions that i quite enjoy is Deer Dolly by ohproserpine check em out. And also, Where do I begin? on ao3 (be warned, for there is implication of SA in it, nothing too graphic but still, protective Alastro being protective, love it).

I think the appeal of Alastor was how different he was (except for in the creepy ass twink department, we've got plenty of those). Mainly in the way he was presented. “a show made independently, and the voice actors are making streams talking in their characters voices? Ö”. And everyone just ran with what they had, we were given just enough to fall for the colorful cast, enough to make fan content before the pilot was out. Like the dad jokes, fan animations, Alastor saying darling~ and the many accounts of them flustering Ashley, among other things :) (all the letters are links, haven't seen some of these in years dafuq). I'm surprised that not many people use what they said in the streams in their writings, I'd wish to see more of that. There's some real gold in there to be utilized.

But anyways, back to the topic at hand. There's always been one song I've associated Alastor with, since I was like 15 to16 years old, and it's something has to happen. Can't help but imagine a chase sequence whenever I listen to it, and I recently found some more inspiration in the form of this! and that.

.

.

.

He could smell the fear radiating from his prey, they ran with haste, trying to put distance between them and their pursuer. The demon chuckled to himself at their persistence. Such a lively prey they were, truly, he couldn't wait to hold them close to his chest, to trap them in the grip of his teeth, tearing tissue and bones in his jaws. Oh He loves them, he hunts them.

…

Man, I remember back in the day there were so many stories revolving around Alastor appearing in the living world to torment his darling, or to make a meaningful connection with them. But I've never seen one where his darling is his accomplice, helping him spread his “curse” onto unsuspecting victims. I got this idea from this piece of artwork by lanveril.

i remember the days of that too! it was such a great time of alastor and obsession fics yknow, but also small??? since it was just the pilot and we had a lot to toy around with. but you are so right about him and his s/o being a cheesy couple.

the sweetest couple on the block who seem very normal and overall a prime example of love. “darling, i have the meat!” and you would beckon him in the kitchen with a sweet smile so you could prepare it.

i think he would be a cliche husband, but also one who enjoys a little rough housing form time to time.

i had to gatekeep this ask for awhile mb LMFAOO i loved it so much😭

[rottenpumpkin13]

Out Of Context Shit Heard On The SOLDIER Floor #6

Previous: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5

Angeal: No, Genesis, you spaghetti-noodle-spine-having-ass bitch.

Sephiroth: I identify as a tonberry *chases Cloud with a kitchen knife*

Zack: Ra Ra Rasputin *kicks Sephiroth over*

Genesis: Unhand me you cretin *alone, talking to no one*

Angeal: Zack just showed me a picture of the Grinch and said "hear me out"

Lazard: No, Sephiroth, you cannot have a human-sized cat bed in your office "for enrichment"

Cloud: Parkour time *crashes through the air vents*

Sephiroth: I'm the biggest lesbian ally in this department, actually.

Angeal: For the sake of my sanity I'm gonna pretend I didn't just see Zack twerking to One Winged Angel.

Luxiere: I would commit unspeakable atrocities for a crumb of Zack's attention.

Lazard: That stripper pole better be gone when I get back or so help me, Genesis, I will return you to the goddess.

Sephiroth: *does a single pump of sore throat spray* This is enough for sustenance for the day.

Kunsel: Care for a deep-fried cigarette?

Angeal: You look like an AI-generated twink.

Sephiroth: I've grown so tired of Genesis's voice that we now communicate solely through interpretive dance.

Lazard, over the speakers: Whoever heated fish in the break room microwave, please come by my office so I can break your knees.

Zack: Aww, I forgot to feed the Roomba :(

Genesis: I don't know why me and Angeal are being judged. Simulating a birth with a watermelon is a perfectly normal activity for two people.

Kunsel: Hopefully this office party won't end in accidental weed use.

Angeal: WHY IS THERE A FAMILY OF RACCOONS IN THE TRAINING ROOM?

Genesis: I noticed some homosexual subtext in your screams, do you want to talk about that?

Angeal: *sniff sniff* Ooh~ who's barbecuing? OH MY GOD IT'S AN ELECTRIC FIRE.

Roche: Every time I think about chopping my hair short I think "Sephiroth wouldn't want this for me" and the feeling is gone.

Genesis: I made a friend *drags in a skeleton with a Sephiroth wig*

Cloud: *points at Angeal, Genesis and Sephiroth* Pure of heart, dumb of ass, big of tit.

Lazard: I told Zack to use Excel and he started sobbing.

Angeal: WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST SEASONING YOUR GROUND BEEF?

Sephiroth: It's extremely rude to ask someone why they're eating a salad bowl of udon at 8 AM. Mind your business, Zack.

Cloud: Genesis likes Loveless so much because the title resonates with his love life.

Zack: You keep your anxiety pills in a takeaway to-go box? Dude that's so fancy.

Lazard: Why is Sephiroth the only one wearing a shirt??

Angeal: Common sense has chased Zack all his life but he wears wheelies so he's faster

Sephiroth: I personally don't use the peace sign because I haven't had a day of peace since I was 12.

Kunsel: I'm never going out in public with Zack again. A child's balloon popped when it went near his hair.

Angeal: No I'm not giving you an aspirin. Last time I gave you one you crushed it and snorted it like cocaine.

Lazard: An overwhelming majority of you peaked in kindergarten.

Sephiroth: Zack, I'm becoming increasingly concerned by the amount of potatoes in your pants right now.

Zack: This year I want an A/B/O themed birthday party.

Sephiroth: Please don't commit tax fraud, Genesis. You won't thrive in prison.

Genesis: Does anyone have an extra ramen packet to give Sephiroth? The 64 he consumed this morning weren't enough.

Roche: Commander Rhapsodos and his emo fringe is our culture.

Zack: I'm at my fucking limit! I'm about to eat a vegetable!

Genesis: He's a son of a bitch Sephiroth: That implies he has a mother, so I don't see how that's an insult.

Zack: Fuck around and find out *said with a chunk of Genesis' red coat hanging from his pocket*

Cloud: Does anyone have an extra brain cell? I lost my remaining one when Genesis spoke to me this morning.

Sephiroth: Damn.

Kunsel: Zack owes me so much money that if he sold his box of random shit he stole from Angeal, he still couldn't pay me back.

Angeal: Why are you guys playing Queen's Blood in the closet? is this a metaphor?

Genesis: Have you prayed to your Sephiroth cardboard cutout yet today?

Sephiroth: Alert me once Rufus Shinra arrives so that I may greet him adequately *said while building a pipe bomb*

Lazard: It's all fun and games until the timeout cage that I ordered online arrives.

Genesis: I will atone for my sins by becoming a nuisance to the environment.

Cloud: If Zack were a scented candle he'd smell like ADHD and crayons.

Sephiroth, standing on a table: DO NOT. EAT. THE CHEESECAKE. IN THE FRIDGE. It's mine.

Angeal: *with a bucket while it's raining hale* Free ice baby.

Zack: I finally have enough gil to buy a sixteen bouncy castles.

Genesis: Being overcome with the desire to eat pasta and call your mother at 2 AM and wondering if you're having a mental breakdown or are possessed by Sephiroth.

Lazard: I can't fire any of you, but I'm about to start setting things on fire.

[quixtrix]

dolph was always meant to be doomed; something of an analysis

i'm on my third rewatch of captain laserhawk, and on this one i've been focusing more on the little details that you don't get on your first or even second time watching it. i've noticed little things, such as pey'j helping and then going on to shield a hybrid who's dressed similarly to jade in the third episode. but i've also noticed bigger things, such as alex and dolph.

keep in mind that this show is just filled to the brim with political messaging, it was purposefully designed that way. so when someone mentioned on here that alex was an accelerationist, it explained a lot. we don't know much about alex in terms of his backstory, we only know he helped dolph after dolph attempted to mug him and they ended up falling in love. it's also implied that alex and dolph have been repeatedly reported on the news as terrorists more than we've seen, with rayman referring to them as being the usual suspects when the kaiju attack happened, despite dolph literally not even being there when alex did that shit. they're known to do this shit, and we know alex is a charismatic guy. it's not too far fetched to say once or while dolph was falling in love with this gayass white saviour saint that alex talked him into this shit for alex's own purposes. because yes, he has a cause, but he's also a bit in over his head, maybe with power. he's aware of the power he has over dolph, how he actively uses the 'i love you' card multiple times when they're together and when they're not together. he just had a bit too much confidence in his hold over dolph, but to be fair, alex, you were topping some indulgent mob boss for your cause (because let's be honest of course your sources would be tight if they were being fucked for it) then continued fucking said mob boss and got caught with your dick out by your ex who you think you can get back with. alex uses people as tools, he just doesn't put his shit in the right places at the right times.

i'm getting off track, but the point i'm getting to is that alex most definitely saw dolph, a man who clearly has some jacked up eden tech smacked onto his twink ass, at his lowest, and picked him up like a shiny new toy. he was always going to use dolph. but how come dolph is so easy to use? he's starved for kindness. he's the stray dog that comes up to you at restaurants to act all nonchalant because 95% of the time he gets neglected, but the second he gets offered scraps, he shows how hungry he is. we don't know much about his childhood, and what we do know is under the lenses of literal eden propaganda. we do however know how people get like underneath the hand of eden.

everyone say thanks to rayman, who concidentally, is dolph's foil. both of them worked under eden as their lap dogs, one as a propagandist and the other as military, but dolph had gotten out of the hold the propaganda had on him while rayman's barely shaking it off. both of them are also portrayed as poor little tragic immigrants and the impoverished stand ins both in universe and story wise. they're the feel good picking yourself up american dream stories that people can feel inspired by or feel proud about the country with. dolph had a photo with a kid holding a doll of him. before he became ex military, he was definitely the guy they paraded around as a previous lost cause that eden helped. red, who's as political as his assigned colour, bitches about identity politics in that one off line for a reason. he also jus hates brown people fr he kicked me down a flight of stairs

now we can assume that dolph had picked himself up out of the propaganda machine somehow. he realised he was used and he didn't want that shit. he's attempting to get himself his own life, for fucks sake. he jus happened to get lead on by the wrong guy, which then lead him to get used by eden AGAIN. this time not only in a physical way via soldier work, but emotionally too, with sarah easily manipulating him with what? a sob story and helping him out, maybe being friendly with him along the way.

he wants a normal life. he wants a goddamn normal life. he jus continues to be selected as a tool.

you can see how fucking starved he is for kindness. you ever think about the fact that in his dream life, he sees jade and pey'j? he knew these people for less than a week, yet they get a place in his dream life. most notably, jade gets a speaking role in his dream life. the only other person who speaks, besides marcus, is alex, someone who had known him and shown kindness to him. jade has also shown kindness to dolph. she's the friendliest face there in the ghosts, being the first one to check on dolph when he wakes up, offers an explanation to him, and also makes an effort to include him in her little shenanigans with the video and all!! dolph was all emo alpha wolf and all, but despite his constant cold shoulder, she was kind!!

there was someone who was more than kind though; bullfrog. because bullfrog actively looked out for dolph, despite his constant pushback against bullfrogs advice whenever they weren't separated. and in the end, it's bullfrogs kindness and compassion that hits dolph the deepest. dolph gets out of his depressive state to go back for bullfrog. he cares about people, he goes out of his way to do shit for the people who show him the slightest bit of kindness. he backed up sarah after one good conversation with her to marcus for fucks sake. dolph is just a guy who keeps getting used though. he's so loyal to anyone who looks his way that it's a fatal flaw that ends up with his head blown up. he's a shakespearean tragedy at the moment. i hope in the potential season 2 that he gets to have more moments where he gets to be his own person. not defined by an organisation or a person or a cause, but what he chooses to define himself by. he's on his way there. he jus deserves to be allowed to live for himself. after all, he has already met his end of that story. he can make a new one.

anyways if u reached the end of this im down to discuss this :D i also did get a few points from other people on here, but let me know what u think nd all

[earthstellar]

Miko and Holding a Grudge: Storytime is Learning Time

I was thinking about how in the final episode of TFP, Miko uses the "I'm going to beat your ass" armour to punch Knockout clean across the face

Miko punches him so quickly and efficiently that I genuinely could not get a screenshot of the impact moment. lmao

And there are a lot of good reasons for her to want to slap this twink into the stratosphere, but I was thinking about any specific grudges Miko might have personally against Knockout to help fuel that punch

Because typically Miko goes in with a sort of "I learned this by watching WWE with Bulkhead and I'm excited to hurt you" tiny human wrecker energy and is naturally hyped, so she tends to go in with a slightly showy approach to delivering a beatdown, which makes sense.

We know she watches stuff like monster truck rallies with Bulkhead, and we know she's watched Bulkhead and Wheeljack pretty closely, and this has had an impact on her developing her personal fighting style: High energy, maybe a couple attempts at some kind of signature moves. she's learned from TV shows and watching actual factional alien warfare play out in the Nevada desert. Shit's wild, and so is she.

But when she punches Knockout, it's a totally silent, quick, efficient hit-- which is pretty different to how Miko usually approaches "the smackdown".

Sure, part of it is because Knockout is sort of ruining a huge moment for the Autobots by quipping at a particularly annoying moment to do so, and she probably just wants him to shut the fuck up as quickly as possible so they can all get back to enjoying watching the revitalisation of Cybertron.

And they're all probably a bit tired from even managing to get to this point.

But then I remembered:

In the episode Flying Mind, Miko and Raf help Fowler off the Nemesis after he's been incapacitated.

But Jack stays behind, and when Knockout snaps out of Trypticon's stasis, he attempts to power drill through Jack's head/upper torso.

Ratchet comes through the ground bridge and punches Knockout, in the same way Miko punches Knockout in the series finale. One hit, and we're done here.

(Sorry for the crunchy quality screenshot, my internet connection is a bit crunchy itself at the moment lmao)

Now, Miko wasn't there to witness this, but we know Miko frequently asks the others to tell her about anything she misses, either because she's been asked to stay home or because things kicked off when she was otherwise not around. She likes to hear battle stories. She's actively jealous of the others when they get to go deal with cool shit and she can't for various reasons.

So we can assume that she asked Jack what happened, or perhaps Ratchet briefed everyone once the other Autobots were revived from temporary stasis, and she would have been present for that in the base.

Miko holds a grudge. There is an entire episode where her and Wheeljack essentially go on an ill-advised revenge mission after Bulkhead is injured. She operates on that mafia level shit, wanting revenge so badly that she essentially withholds information from Wheeljack until he agrees to let her tag along.

And while she learned from that experience, it does hint at the type of mindset she has-- Don't fuck with her friends, or she will very much hold onto that anger until she gets the chance to act on it.

When she punches Knockout, it's a quick, clean punch. Which makes sense contextually for that scene, she's not going to haul completely off on him in that moment.

But it also echoes how Ratchet dealt with him when Knockout was threatening Jack, and that seems like the kind of detail Miko would remember after having it described to her.

She has a bit of a vengeful streak, and even though she does learn not to act on desires for revenge, she's still a kid and god she loves fighting so much, and there is no way she forgot about that one time Knockout tried to kill her friend with a fucking drill-- Even if she didn't get to witness it, it's likely she was told about it in some way, and she's been holding onto that for a while.

So I just really like that her punching Knockout is a mirror of when Ratchet punched Knockout previously, because we know she's very good at paying attention to detail when it comes to fighting, and we know that she learns from observation and from listening to battle stories.

It makes a lot of sense if she just recognised Knockout as being that one bot who nearly killed Jack and remembered how Jack likely described the incident to her later (or may have gotten details from any debriefing Ratchet may have provided at the base), and in that moment recalled that Ratchet took him down in one hit, so she should probably just do the same.

It's quick, it worked before on this exact bot, it'll probably work again.

Miko does learn. She very much holds a grudge. And I like that even though her actions in the finale make sense even without the possible background connection to a prior episode, it does perfectly make sense either way.

You know she begged Jack for all the details later, and you know she committed that shit to memory.

If Ratchet can knock out Knockout, so can she.

And she's not having their victory moment fucked up by some dude who seriously put them in danger on many previous occasions, even if he came around to the "winning team" in the end.

anyway you just know Miko is a mascot for the Wreckers later on, like there's no way Wheeljack and/or Bulkhead doesn't custom paint the side of a ship at some point like a WW2 aircraft lmao but it's just a painting of Miko laughing maniacally while punching a boulder or something

[l1tw1ck]

Just imagine forcing twink sex slave gorou or omega gorou(EDIT: or just combine them to make omega twink sex slave gorou) to take your huge cock in his tiny little pussy as you choke him and make him beg for you to cum inside him and get him pregnant as tears stain his cheeks but in the morning your just taking care of him making sure you weren't too rough on the small puppy boy while you hold onto his leash

continuation: Forcing him to take your knot after he’s been feisty while he is begging, biting, scratching, kicking, screaming, sobbing, crying, everything to get you to stop, to get you off of him but you don’t care and just keep fucking him, telling he will be the perfect housewife/ trophywife and after he’s all passed out or dazed and hazy you just fuck his throat until he can’t swallow anymore so then you start fucking his tight little ass and now you go even harder on him and just before you stop you leave one big deep mark right over his scent gland marking him as yours.

2nd  continuation: if gorou is a brat treat him like one, cover him in markings and scratch’s so that everyone can see them until he is screaming that it hurts then make the mark on his scent gland even deeper so everyone knows that he belongs to you then you finally drag him by his leash to the businesses you own mainly your brothel/strip club where you sit in your personal area watching the girls but you have gorou naked on your lap as your fucking him where everyone can see him because of how big of a brat he as been today so he needs to be punished and you know he’s going to act out more to get you to stop so it’s a win-win for you but for gorou well he’ll be to busy crying and begging.

This is from the 🦊- anon

thank you for the meal, 🦊🙏🏾🙏🏾

[rayshippouuchiha]

Tasea!

Okay so I just stumbled upon your Tasea au and it's living rent free in my mind.

Skull and Tsuna just living their best life while Hibari and Reborn are chewing glass is my favorite thing ever

Consider this:

Both Skull and Tsuna become ridiculous strong throughout this trip.

They don't even notice it.

It starts with casual convos about how they use flames, then experiments, light spars etc.

Turns out not being in mortal peril 24/7 does wonders for some people.

So from time to time, videos of them come to light, Tsunas twink ass obliterating someone in an arm wrestling match. Skull killing it in some weightlifting challenge or doing some insane acrobatics.

Videos of them sparring without flames in open parks or maybe being stumbled upon in abandoned warehouses.

Everyone who isn't Reborn or Hibari can actually see how good this is for them.

Gokudera keeps a collection of "Decimo being Amazing" pictures and videos he finds. That's his best friend after all!

Maybe Reborn would feel slightly jealous that even his teacher position was usurped, but he's kinda busy picking which leash he's going to put on Skull the moment he catches him.

Hibari is listening to Olivia Rodriguez during his speedrun of becoming the world most feared Hitman (only possible because Reborn is busy picking which tracker to put under Skulls skin once he finds him) in search of Tsuna

Sometimes, he picks a random grunt to ask for relationship advice.

I also like to think that as time goes on, a whole countersquad starts to form.

Like they notice that maybe they have some things to talk out, and that's why they keep searching, but they aren't per se helping Hibari or Reborn either.

But yeah anyway I love this au

I need a 100 chapter fic injected i to my veins pronto, but als I don't have that kind of talent... R.I.P

See, the thing is, it's not that Tsuna and Skull become ridiculously strong during their little vacation.

They're both already monstrously strong in their own right.

It's just that, for the first time since they were each dragged into this lifestyle kicking and screaming, they're spending time with someone who A.) learns in a similar fashion and B.) also understands what it's like to be given no choice about this entire thing.

So, for the first time, they're both ,,, comfortable.

Tsuna can ask questions without having to worry about dodging bullets or having to scream to be heard. Skull can impart his hard and bloodily won knowledge on someone without having to hear any "well actually" type bullshit because the way he uses his Flames is technically "wrong".

So of course that means they both start rapidly progressing.

Skull is able to describe things to Tsuna in terms that he understands and can actually visualize. Tsuna is so genuinely open to whatever it is that Skull's doing that Skull no longer feels the need to really hide.

Tsuna gets his hand-to-hand and acrobatic skills refined. Skull starts really opening up about what he's capable of.

They both refine how they look at and utilize their Flames.

They both stop caring about what everyone else is going to say/do.

On the opposite side of the situation, Reborn is ready to chew glass, Hibari is actively forcing other people to chew glass, and if Kusababe has to deal with Kyo-san turning to him one more time asking about why "the little animal fled" he's going to look into taking a vacation of his own.

The others, having now seen countless videos and photos of Skull and Tsuna taking the world by storm together, are starting to reevaluate what they think/know of the situation.

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

4,10 and 19 ? 👀 (did I do it right ? Or do I have add something to it ?)

4. You know I'd do anything to keep you by my side right? Anything.

10. Let me call you mine just for tonight.

19. Never scare me like that again!

Nope you did it right! Lol Thank you for sending this in ☺️

Hope you don't mind if I use the prison au, it has me in a chokehold 😫 Au belongs to @rius-cave

Lucifer pulled Adam along by the collar of his jumpsuit back to their shared cell. He was fucking pissed at the ex-officer, how stupid can you be?!

Adam was sporting a freshly made black eye, given to him by one of the V gang members. He didn't say anything as he was pulled along, he did what he did for a reason and he'd do it again.

Lucifer all but threw Adam into their cell slamming the door behind them, he waited for the click to be sure the door was locked. Adam sat down on the bed and just waited for the ear full he knew he was in for. Lucifer came up to him and gripped Adam's jaw, making him look Lucifer in the eye. "Don't you ever scare me like that again!! Do you hear me? You could have fucking died!" Lucifer roared, his voice sounded angry, but it was laced with concern.

Adam rolled his eyes which earned him a stronger grip on his jaw. "Like you give a shit." He ground out.

Lucifer glared, the nerve of this prick! "Look," he started "I know you were only trying to get that V asshole off of Anthony, I agree the guy could use a shit kicking for what he does to that kid. But putting yourself in harm's way like that? Val wouldn't think twice about shanking you."

Adam and Anthony or 'Angel' as his street name was, have grown close in the clink. So when Adam saw that fucker smacking his friend around, it set something inside his soul on fire. So he stepped in and shoved the prick into his equally weird friend. That had earned Adam his black eye when Val stood back up. Apparently, he had more in mind than just blackening the ex-officers eye.

Lucifer had stepped in at the last second and stole the shank away and had embedded it into Val's ribcage.

Adam felt his eye throb at the memory. "Well, if you'd have let him, your job here would be done now wouldn't it?"

Lucifer was taken aback by this, but he recovered quickly. "Are you really that stupid? I take my deals very seriously. For as long as I own you, you will not be harmed as much within my power."

Lucifer got closer to his face, his blue eyes boring into Adam's dark brown ones, this close he thought he could see flecks of gold. "You know I'd do anything to keep you by my side, right? Anything." He growled out. What did he have to do to drive the point home?

Adam felt his breath hitch in his throat. Somehow this felt different, like something between has changed. "I don't know, do I know that?" Sure, there had been lingering touches, they showered together for fuck sakes and even shared a weird kiss but they had never done more than that.

"I don't like people touching what belongs to me. You're my bitch, only I can touch you." Lucifer trailed a hand, the one not holding Adam's jaw, down from Adam's neck to the buttons of his jumpsuit toying with them. He undid the top button and smiled when he felt Adam shiver. "Let me call you mine, just for tonight." He whispered against Adams lips.

Yes, he owned this man's ass but he wouldn't force him into any unwanted sexual situations. Lucifer wasn't a monster.

Adam swore the temperature in their cell was turned up to a suffocating degree, he was hot all over. He knew the blonde twink wasn't going to let him fuck him, Lucifer was planning on fucking him. Adam had never been with a man before. He always thought that if he did try to sleep with a man one day, it sure was shit wasn't gonna happen in prison.

Beggers can't be choosers he supposed.

"Okay." Was all he said before Lucifer's lips attached themselves to his own, stealing the air out of his lungs. Adam felt himself being pushed down into the bunk bed, Lucifer crawling on top of him. He felt his jumpsuit being unbuttoned.

Even if this was a mistake, a choice made in the heat of the moment with emotions running too high. Neither could deny afterwards how fucking great it had been.

[multiwreckedmess]

Kinktober Day 9

Prompt: Stuck in Wall Pairing: CampusCrush!Wooyoung x fem!reader WC: 1.8k Summary: Instructions unclear, stuck in the new IKEA Bestå. This is a work of fiction, it does not represent Wooyoung or any Ateez member. On top of this it is an 18+ work. For my comfort and boundaries please if you are under age do not interact with this. TW/CW Under the Cut!

TW/CW: just so fucking stupid. little bit of ass fixation, slight dry humping, protected sex, really fucking stupid

 “I cannot believe I’m stuck in some cheesy porn script. Oh this sucks. Oh my god this sucks,” you yell.  The assembly instructions for your new television console clearly stated that it was a two person job and yet, you were stubborn and went ahead. Now, almost two hours later, you’ve somehow pretzel’d your way through one of the cubbies with no way out.  “Wooyoung help! Can you hear me, you moron, help! You’re going to go deaf if you keep listening to music that loud you little-SHIT,” a sharp slap to your ass interrupts your tirade. “WOOYOUNG!”  His witch cackle gives him away. Presumably somewhere behind you, your leg kicks blindly back.  “I dropped the screwdriver and now- it’s too heavy I’ll get squished if I knock it over,” you gesture at your predicament.  He cackles again. The cold snap of a camera shutter echoing in your mind.  “Did you just take a picture of my ass?” You practically scream. “Help me or the second I get out of this thing I’m going to end your entire short twink-y life you GREMLIN.”  Sighing, Wooyoung places his phone on the kitchen counter. Appraising what exactly had you helpless in front of him. “You can just go back the way you came?”  “No moron. If it was that easy I would've done it. Now can you please PLEASE pull me?”

 One hand bracing the frame of the console, the other holding your waist Wooyoung pulls. You don’t budge an inch. He huffs, blowing a tendril of hair up and away from his face. You bounce on your tippy toes with frustration, the fat of your ass jiggling alluringly. You don’t even know you’re doing it as he’s chubbing up inside of his sweats.  “Help me out on this would yah?” Wooyoung asks as he readjusts his arm placement. “I”m holding the shelf just focus on pulling back with me, three, two, one, GO!” Both of you tug down, your ass grinding into him, adjusting the height as you push back harder and harder. Still you stay trapped between plywood boards and what’s worse is you can feel him slowly hardening in his loungewear and you don’t hate it.

 You’d had a soft spot for Wooyoung, how could anyone not. Handsome with the right amount of self awareness and unique strange charm. In part you wanted to surprise him with the fully built furniture as a way of impressing him, showing him how sufficient you were, as if singlehandedly setting up the entire apartment would win his heart. Dumb, but crushes make you do dumb things.  “At least your ass looks great like this,” Wooyoung laughs, taking a handful of flesh in his grasp. “God, I never understood how people could be into those cheesy porn plots but… damn. Really is all out there, vulnerable and whatever.”  You stamp your feet, “Wooyoung it isn’t funny.” It wasn’t how you wanted to catch his attention but if it was working who were you to stop it. “What am I gonna do?”  Having had a fondle with one hand his other joins, grabbing the opposite cheek, massaging in large slow circles. “Maybe if you relax a bit,” he trails off. “Take advantage of the situation, meditate…or something.” As if hypnotized by his own languid touches, his hips drift forward to meet your butt. He rests there just leaning into you as blood rushes from his brain to his dick.

 You aren’t doing much better, practically melting in your pants from even this slightest of touches. It was ill advised to move in with him, but you thought that living together would kill the small flame you’d been carrying. Instead the spark had become a full kitchen fire and now it was spreading to the living room. Your head swimming with his suggestion to “take advantage” of your current predicament. “I’m not very good at meditating, could you help me relax?”  “You know, it’s really convenient that I’m home right now. Right when you’re building this. If I’d gone out you’d really be out of luck.” Wooyoung’s teeth catch his lower lip, fighting back a moan as you adjust yourself, ass rubbing against him in the process. “Here’s the problem. I also need help with something,” he pauses, leaning forward and pressing his bulge into you harder. “I think you know what with.”  “Mhm,” you nearly whine, lips pressed together hard, making a thin line across your strained face.  “It’s sort of your fault, if you think about it. So you should be the one to help me. Take responsibility and all.” He fully settles his clothed bulge between your cheeks, dragging them along his length.  “Yes, really, god yes.  It’s totally my fault,” you capitulate easily, voice tightening as need sinks heavily into your core. “However you want me to take it, I will. Responsibility I mean. Take responsibility. I can take it in whatever way.”

 Wooyoung is ready, just waiting for your word before he drops his waistband to his thighs, a small damp spot already formed in his underwear. Running the length of his shaft along the smooth spandex of your tights gives him goosebumps, a tremor of elation passing through his spine. Tentatively he presses the head into the stretched fabric, watching it dimple and pucker under his microthrusts.  “You can take it however I want you to?” His cheshire smile spread wide across his face, tinting his tone. “Even if it’s just this?”  “Mhm,” you desperately want more than just this. Fingers gripping the slats of wood as he jostles you. A short sad wheeze escapes through your nostrils. Despite your best efforts to tamp down your desire your body betrays you.  Wooyoung laughs again, a short outburst, hand coming down hard on your ass before wrapping you in a hug, as best he can. “You sound so distressed! How will you relax if this is all I give you?” Hand snaking south he presses on your mound, the wet squelch of soaked underwear against his fingers sends another shiver down his spine. “You really want me, don’t you?”  “Fuck Woo, yeah I do.”

 The response of your pussy to the telltale crinkle of foil is almost pavlovian, walls fluttering in anticipation of fullness. Feeling the warmth of Wooyoung’s palm on your lower back you can picture the packet between his lips, tearing it open with one hand, not wanting to be too far from you.  The console rocks as he roughly pulls your leggings just under your ass, just enough to give him access to what matters. Strings of your wetness cling and shine as his fingers slide along your slit.  “I was going to prep you but-” he wiggles two fingers in, your walls sucking him deeper. It’s enough to interrupt his train of thought, his persistent teasing. All he can think about is the comfort of your sex. How inviting it is, how ready you are, how much you must want it. “-fuck that’s hot.”  “Please Woo, please, hurry.” You beg. You don’t need to as he quickly replaces his fingers with his cock. Grabbing the frame of the furniture he pulls you back onto him in one smooth thrust. The fullness twists in your gut, knocking the breath from your lungs. “OH! Shit, you feel-why are you so big?” You sound almost offended as you moan, adjusting to the pressure.  “You don’t know that,” he kneads your lower back, rocking closer. “God I wish I could grab your tits. They’ve always looked so fucking delicious. Just sitting there, taunting me.”  “Grab them later fuck me now.” You groan, swirling your hips on him. The wood of the console keeps you from doing much more than rocking and twerking on him.  “Show me how much you want it.” He demands. “I know you can do it. You set all this up. Show me how much you need me to fuck you.”  Whining you arch your back, wiggling your hips side to side. It barely shifts him within you. He still doesn’t move to fuck you. Bouncing on the balls of your feet, you try humping back on him as best you can. Jaw slackening a dry hiccuped sob escapes you. “I’m stuck, you have to. You have to!”

 With a smirk he grabs your waist, tugging back on you to hold you in place. Leaning back and away he rolls his hips, the ridges of your walls dragging along his length. Driven by crazed lust, it isn’t enough to feel how you grip him, he needs to see it. Wooyoung holds the hem of his shirt between his teeth, watching how his abs flex as his bodyline rolls again, your lips tugging with the slow thrust of his cock.  “Woo,” you moan as he slowly fucks you. It’s nice to moan his name aloud for once instead of just in your head. “God damn it Woo. Ssooo good.”  “Hmph,” his response is muted by the cotton shirt. Speeding up little by little.  Your eyes glaze over, mind hazy. Getting fucked by your crush in the living room you shared. Nothing matters except for the insistent drag of his cock against your walls. His hips feel like magic, melting your tension with each stroke. Your leg shakes as your orgasm builds, the entire structure swaying.  Wooyoung’s hands migrate from you to the wood, gripping it and using it as leverage to pound into you harder than before. The ripple of your ass with each percussive slap of his hips has him hypnotized. Lost to the friction of your walls, he thrusts deliriously with abandon, uncaring of the precious nature of the situation. Chasing the delight of your punched out moans and groans.  Core contracting, air is forced from your lungs. The wave of pleasure crashes over you, every muscle bracing as it hits hard. At the same time the console creaks, your top half jolting free. A choked yelp escapes you, unable to warn Wooyoung. The structure crashes forward, fear clamping your walls tightly down on him.  “Shit!” He yelps, eyes wide he spills into the condom unceremoniously. “Fuck!” He continues a steady stream of swear words as he pulls from you, stumbling backwards as you crumple to your knees, panting.  “Can’t believe that worked-”  “I came,” Wooyoung sounds dejected, red and panting. “FUCK! I came so quick.”  Your eyes dart under the sofa, a glimmer of the a loose screw hiding underneath. Looking from Wooyoung to the screw you scoot and reach your arm towards the glimmer, instead grabbing the crossbar of the couch. “Uh…I hate to say it Woo but-”  His eyes twinkle, “you’re stuck? What a dummy, getting stuck twice. I’m going to start thinking you’re doing this on purpose.”

I just love giving Wooyoung the most ridiculous of prompts. He’s fun to write for me.

[0l-unreliable]

ramblings on twinyard body types

I think if you look at how I draw the foxes and ravens, there is the possibility of misconstruing the reasoning behind their body types as something strictly 'sexy' or 'diverse' or what have you. But I really truly do try to reason out their bodies, and they are sexily diverse because that's just how people are.

The reason I was thinking about this was because of how I draw the Twinyards vs how I see others draw them. It makes me feel like I'm treating non-thin bodies as something to ogle and fetishize for the explicit reason that they are 'larger'. But I draw them that way because to me it makes the most sense for them to look that way. So they are attractive not because they aren't skinny, but because they ARE hot (in my head, everyone has at least one attractive/pretty/wonderful thing about them).

To me, Andrew and Aaron are chubby. Not considering muscle or diet or exercise or whatever, to me their healthy weight is 'chubby' (though this chubbiness can also be linked to their height) like I drew below.

But adding in lifestyle, diet, Exy roles, statistics (with Andrew being The Goalie of all time and Aaron constantly working fluidly with Matt on court) health standards, goddamn feelings about Exy I cannot see them as anything but tiny brick shithouses. They are packed with muscle, they just have to be. Andrew especially. And over that muscle is fat, because that's how real strong bodies look/are and because the Twinyards don't give a shit about being healthy. They drink, smoke, eat like fuck, they don't care! At the end of the day if their body does what it needs to that's a job well done. For freak's sake THREE people had to hold Andrew down at Kathy's show!

And absolutely none of this is to say fat=unhealthy, there is just no way they can be shredded twinks. not to me. Obviously, if that is how you see them I'm not kicking your ass about it, but my early easter post has got me feelin' like a freak who objectifies non-skinny people instead of a freak who objectifies blonde guys.

Anyways muscle Minyards 5-ever 🧡

[jaylleoo14]

How I like to draw the twst characters because nobody asked

♡ i like drawing Jade two ways: Pretty boy twink or a "your daughter calls me daddy too"

♡ For Azul its either an unhinged crazy ass who might secretly be a boy loser or a fucking smartass scum who isnt pathetic

♡ Floyd is.... well, Floyd. He's silly! I love him unconditionally <3 (no i dont thats a lie- ACK HELP HES CHOKING ME-) Joking, I LOVE drawing him having threatening and scary faces. (that goes for Jade as well)

♡ Idia is either a whimpering begging mess or hes a fucking cocky menace whos actually threatening

♡ Leona is soft shy lion or a badass (yasss slay queen, we stan you‼️) and sassy at the same time (Have you seen the way he stans with his hand on his hip?)

♡ Vil is just strait up serving cunt, no words needed (she is always SERVING from the university of servington with a degree in serving cunt) I always draw him winning because she always is (we stay winning💯)

♡ Rook is an unhinged stalker with a crazy obsession or he's just a silly little lad whos always supportive of others (I like drawing him threatening too)

♡ Epel is my pretty boy who I love to draw because he's so pretty. I like to draw him very wild though and rambunctious

♡ Rollo is literally the same as Idias except he tries to hold his pride feeling really embarrassed

♡ Riddle has a strong presence and personality which i like to convey, being ruthless yet being incredibly soft. I like drawing him cute and pretty sometimes too :3

♡ TREY HAS NICE MF ARMS YOU KNOW DAMN WELL IM DRAWING HIM SCRUMDELIOUCIOUS

♡ Cater makes me sad, so I indulge myself in it. I like drawing him around deep and depressing themes, sometimes dark as well.

♡ Ruggie is either street punk cool and swaggy or damn attractive with an unhinged and sneaky overlay

♡ Jack is so cute to me, I like drawing him as the tsundere he is with a playful side to him with the overprotective bodyguard vibes

♡ Ace... I HATE THAT STUPID MF!!! God he's so annoying we might as well date already >:( He's super playful and flirty and i like drawing him sly and sometimes awkwardly flustered

♡ Deuce is my baby boy crush >\\\\< Hes so precious literally he's my soft boy. I love him sm omg

♡ Malleus is so awkward and somewhat stoic, yet thats what makes him cute! He's like a himbo to me hahahaha hes so silly to me sometimes but then im like, oh wait, hes hot. And then i do a 360 and all of a sudden he's this hot smirking bastard

♡ Lilia is so drippy he's my little doll, I want to style him in so many different ways (●ˇ∀ˇ●) and he's so badass yet girlypop at the same time, hello?? No one can pull it off like Lilia does, its the bisexual in him 🤞

♡ Silver is so sweet and pretty, though I always draw him sleeping because its so easy just drawing someone sleeping in low quality T0T (sorry Silver stans)

♡ Sebek is a silly little guy who I want to kick for the fun of it sometimes ^-^ But I like drawing him getting teased a lot or often getting picked on because I find it funny

♡ Jamil being a sassy overworked mom who always too tired to show any type of expression other than showing anger, exasperation, or an anxious stressed out look. Other than that, its a tired deadpan face for me as he's holding a mug saying "kys." Jamil is like a little hater to me and I stan that <3

♡ Kalim being oblivious and a bit slow, but other than that hes the happy radiating sunshine we all know as. I like giving him moments where hes so genuine and kind where you're just completely soft around him and an arrow shoots through your heart

♡ Ortho is that friendly neighbor! I like him drawing him being supportive of others and always being Idia's right hand man who can also be sneaky and sly

This doesnt usually apply to their yandere self though ^^

[malebodyexhibit]

A Master and his Toys (a Next Door Boy tale)

Possession is the typical service provided by NDB, but that’s for people with no imagination. You have access to dozens of straight, fit, young men and you don’t want to be their masters? Sure you can take over someone’s body and fuck twinks ’til your cock and balls are dry. Or, you can rent 3 dumb, blond, straight jocks and have the agency adjust their behavior.

This 19-year-old twunk is a business major from Texas. I call him Rosebud. He’s your standard Republican trust fund baby who couldn’t hack it in university and got cut off from his parents. He drifted from girlfriend to girlfriend, mooching off them and cheating behind their backs. Eventually, he ended up as talent for NDB. He didn’t want to be possessed by some gay guy, but he was up for a minor reprogramming via his implant. I told him it was an obedience mod and pleasure mod. The pleasure mod being a love for gay sex. Now he loves showing off his body. I often kiss his neck when he’s being a good boy. He loves when I buy him a new jock strap. He can be a bit too much sometimes. For example, when I’m trying to watch the game, he crawls beside me and grinds himself against me. I sometimes just decide to give him a quick fuck. He doesn’t mind if he doesn’t cum, as long as he gets to feel me explode in him, but sometimes I just turn off his mods so he returns to his straight jock mind. He gets so embarrassed and tries to cover himself up, but a kiss from me and his love for attention kicks back into gear. When I’m at work, I have the other guys top him so he doesn’t get too lonely.

I call this one Jack-O. He’s a 28-year-old personal trainer from Colorado. He’s pretty easy going unlike Rosebud. He wanted to work for NBD but not have anyone else in control of his mind and body. He consented to a pleasure mod though. I told him it would just work on his drive for working out. He’d still be in his body, controlling his decisions. That much was true, but I had him have a strong lust for my  workout musk. After a tough workout, I toss him my sweat-soaked gear so he can lick it clean. I had to tie his arms up because he kept pulling my socks and underwear off. I spent a few days in my house completely naked ‘cause he just strips me and slobbers on my clothes. If I don’t shower quickly enough, he pounces on me and gives me a tongue bath. Because this is so closely tied to sex, he drips precum around the house and I have to be careful where I step. He’s almost always erect, but I had him unable to ejaculate until I stroked him myself. Otherwise, he’d just be spraying the house in his spunk. Jack-O has a fiancé, but he agreed to a no-contact during his contract duration. Yet that seemed heartless of me, so I sometimes have Rosebud wear his fiancé’s perfume then have Jack-O mount him to workout his sexual frustrations. I have, of course, turned off Jack-O’s mods so I could see his confusion as he’s sniffing my used underwear and his horror at his tied up body and his erect, dripping cock.

Spot is his name. This 33-year-old mechanic from Colorado joined NDB for easy money like everyone else. He highly values his body and mind, so he also chose to not be possessed. He’s a straight bachelor who used to bring home a woman. He’d treat her right and flirt for a week, but he’d cut them loose after things get too comfortable. I asked him about mods, and he didn’t have a problem with it. He just wanted to make sure he didn’t do gay shit. So I gave him a perception mod. He believes me, Rosebud, and Jack-O are women. I also tweaked with his pleasure mod and and obedience mod. Spot does all the chores in the house. He sweeps (hence, ‘you missed a spot’), mops up Jack-O’s happy trail on the floor, spots the other two during their workout to keep their rock hard bodies. He also tops them so he can keep himself happy. He loves to eat out their pussy (really it’s their cocks) and pound their pussy (their ass) and fondle their breasts (pecs). If I didn’t tape his mouth, he’d just ramble on and on since he just wants to prove how smart he is. With Spot, I never turn off his mod, but I do find myself blowing him. He thinks I’m one of his many female conquests, so it’s sweet to have him wrap his arms around me, but even sweeter to have him on all fours sweeping dirt from under the couch.

So that’s my collection. I’m not overly malicious. Everything was written out in the fine print. If they read carefully, they’d know what each mod entailed. NDB fully requires consent. At the end of their service (like one month), they’ll be returned to their normal mental state. But in the past, many prefer their new simpler lives.

[loose-leaf-teacanons]

The more I think about it, the more I love claymore!Kaveh

Looks like a prissy twink but can bench-press a whole-ass bookshelf plus the annoying roommate who won't clean it up.

People think Alhaitham's the one to be afraid of, the one you don't want to engage in a fight. They are wrong.

Alhaitham just beats your ass and clocks out.

Kaveh goes *feral* on it.

And yes, Alhaitham's the guy who can throw you twenty feet and spin-kick knives into the ground so hard they leave an impact crater, but you have not seen what happens when you try to ambush the fairy-princess-looking architect while he's on a deadline and CAN'T YOU WAIT THIRTY FUCKING MINUTES TO LAUNCH YOUR IDIOTIC LOGISTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT I HAVE A CLIENT MEETING IN FIVE AND I'LL BE LOOKING LIKE A STREET BRAWLER NOW THANKS TO YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER NEMATODES––

Alhaitham just sits down to the side and breaks out a book. Better let Kaveh work the stress out of his system.

I want battle husbands so bad. It's my jam. I hope they put that in Kaveh's hangout.

Just, there's so many ways and they're all comedy gold. I mean. Imagine Traveler barging into Alhaitham's office all breathless because they were shopping and then some insurgents showed up and managed to kidnap Kaveh.

Alhaitham's just raises an eyebrow, "...so?"

And Paimon's like omg how can you be so heartless isn't he your friend???

"You're worried about the wrong person," says Alhaitham, perfectly serene. "He's not locked in with them. They're locked in with him."

/furious roar and sounds of splintering stone in the distance

"...on second thought, I suppose I should do something about this. With his debt, he can't afford to pay the damages for dropping the aqueduct on them."

[goldeaglefire1]

okay so. I have been inspired by @tf2heritageposts's recent poll. and with that in mind

Ranking How Deadly Each of the TF2 Mercs Would Be In A Fistfight

Note: following the rules of the poll here, we are saying this is simply fist to fist, with no weapons or equipment for either combatant. I think we all know that if ANY of the TF2 mercs had their weapons in this scenario you'd be fucked

With that in mind, from least to most deadly:

9. Sniper

Honestly I think this is the most realistic match for. Anyone on this site really. Sniper's specialty is long range so if you force him to fight fist to fist he is not gonna have a good time. He even says in the comic that when he was a kid and other kids started fistfights that his go-to strategy was to climb up a tree and throw rocks at them. He would not be good in a fistfight is all I'm saying.

8. Scout

Now if we were going purely by SKILL Scout would actually be a lot higher. He definitely has a lot of experience in fist fights, definitely moreso than the two above him on the list at least, and like. Meet the Scout literally has him solo a Heavy with nothing but his fists and a baseball bat. You are fighting Scout in his element he can absolutely kick your ass. The reason he is down this low is not because Scout is bad at fighting, but because Scout is a moron. Out of all the mercs Scout is the one you could most reasonably trick. It is not about "can you beat Scout" it's about "can you distract him long enough to get in a cheap shot to knock him out and book it." And, honestly, I think that's fairly achievable! If you can't manage that though you're fucked

7. Engineer

We are now at the point where you are basically at the mercy of god. Engineer is down this low because, while all the mercs are at least a little insane, he's what you could argue to be the most reasonable one and the most likely to go easy on you. Aaaaaaand he also doesn't seem like the type to have fistfighting experience. That being said he can ABSOLUTELY kill you because, the thing is? He doesn't have two hands. He has one hand, and a mechanical prosthetic hand he can spin like a drill. Can't exactly remove that. Get him pissed enough and you are fucked

6. Medic

Unlike Engineer, Medic not only will happily kill you but has the knowledge to kill you too. He knows how to fix all your bones and that also means he knows how to break them. Only reason he's down this low is because of the no weapons requirement. If he had his bonesaw you'd be fucked guaranteed but it'd be a bit harder to use his techniques with just his hands. He also doesn't have any notable hand to hand combat skills so like. Glimmer of a chance but in all likelihood that would be the Medic's glasses as he opens you up like a frog in a high school science class.

5. Demoman

Demoman has absolutely been in a brawl fight before. Like we may have never seen him in one but there is no way he hasn't been in a bar fight. He also handles live explosives and a whole ass sword with a surprising amount of grace and precision despite being constantly drunk so you can't really count on that throwing off his aim either. He's the exact right combination of skilled, crazy, and competent that you're kinda fucked no matter what. The only saving grace is the constantly drunk thing. Hope he passes out in a drunken stupor before he can actually do anything

4. Spy

Yes, Spy is a twink. Moreso than even Scout honestly. Yes, like Sniper, Spy's not exactly meant to be in a direct fight either. Yes, he's French. However: UNLIKE Sniper, being up close is Spy's ideal range, and he's a trained assassin. Do you really think he doesn't know how to kill you without his knife. Or that the guy who's entire job is to stab you while you're not looking is worried about fighting fair. As soon as you lose sight of him - which is probably going to be easy even without the Invisi-Watch - you're fucked. He's already behind you. Spy's only in fourth place because he's the least likely to get in a fistfight period.

3. Pyro

(NOTE: This section has a page from one of the comics featuring blood and a dead animal to make a point. If you're sensitive to that kind of thing skip ahead)

Now, I know what you're thinking - "okay the Pyro's nuts, sure, but this high up? they have no weapons and they see the world as sunshine and rainbows! surely they can be reasoned with right?" And to that, I say: sure, they see the world as a colorful fantasy candyland and their flames as pretty rainbows. However!

Bold of you to assume they don't know what they're doing. It does not matter if they have no weapons if you are up against Pyro you're fucked. Especially since they are one of the two mercs I can see starting the fight unprovoked for shits and giggles. Pyro cut off Soldier's hand in a car ride they have no sense of proportional retribution. Your only, very slim hope is that you find something flammable and something to light it on fire and use the ensuing flame to distract Pyro long enough to get out of there. And that has the caveat of "pray Pyro doesn't light you on fire first"

2. Heavy

I don't think I need to explain this one. Heavy speaks for himself. Even the people who voted Heavy in that poll seem to be operating on the logic of "maybe I can convince him to be nicies to me" rather than actually beating him in a fight, at least going off the tags. If you're up against Heavy, you're fucked.

1. Soldier

Yeah there's a reason Soldier had no votes for those first few hours. A master fears not the expert but the guy who has no idea what the fuck he's doing, and by god does no one know what Soldier is doing at any given point, especially Soldier. You cannot reason with him. You cannot predict him. Tricking him is easy but has a high chance of backfiring in a way that kills you regardless. His signature move is instantly snapping your neck. If you're up against Soldier you're fucked