#useless lesbian am i right

[silv3reyedstranger]

you know what’s so fun about being a lesbian majoring in english and french?

ok so it’s like this. you see a woman and suddenly words don’t exist. not in english. not in french. nope nada zilch.

and hindsights even funnier because wow you totally had a crush on half of your english and french teachers in secondary school…

funny how you chose english and french to major in, eh?

[aurosoulart]

apparently someone influential posted my Figmin XR work on linkedin because I hadn’t checked my messages in awhile and had SO many Big Tech people trying to schedule talks with me

this is wild

[downy-roses]

In retrospect, me being a lesbian isn’t very surprising.

Even when I thought I was a boy (I was very wrong on that front), my attraction to girls felt… not the straightest, if that makes sense.

[vixx-vamp]

I don’t think I was made with functioning in mind (thought about how great boobs are for too long)

[greenvillainredemption]

Saw someone say something to the effect of “no one who actually faces oppression seeks out people who mean them harm” and that’s just. So real. I think they said it about annoying men who try to say they’re more oppressed than women. I’ve definitely experienced that type of smug MRA asshole who just wants to argue and wear down women. Also as an autistic lesbian who’s been told it’s oppression of neurotypicals for me to “”make demands”” (ask for accommodations/specificity), or it’s oppression of hetero males for me to exclude them from my dating pool or even just be celibate... it’s exhausting. And then thinking about people who do openly hate women or lesbians or autistic people, I do the best I can to avoid them and work my way around interacting with them. Misogynists and ableists and lesbian fetishists I’ve come across are the opposite, they go out of their way to harass people like me. They claim I’m oppressing them for having boundaries, but they know I can’t actually hurt them the same specific ways they can hurt me.

[strangelittlestories]

It is a little known fact that angels cannot step foot in hell.

Note: this does not mean that angels *don’t* enter the burning depths, only that they cannot touch the floor. You see, the fires that rage below are not regular fire. They do not consume fuel and oxygen and spit out heat. Instead, they chew on reality and drink down order, and the flames that lick up at you are made of chaos-filled void.

This is antithetical to the very substance of angels. If it touches them, at *best* the angels will be spat out as they are forcibly reminded that *they don’t go here*.

At medium, they will be unmade.

At worst, they will be *changed*.

You might think they could avoid this by simply flying through the pit, right? Oh, would that it were so simple. Remember the flames that burn up reality? Hell is an alchemical reaction of exploding space and logic and time and souls. You try flying through a place that is not a place, where up and down can hardly agree on which is which for more than an instant.

But there is a way around this. It was originally discovered by the guardian angel Cambiel. You see, under Cambiel’s protection was a woman named Ruth. Ruth was a shining light who Cambiel cared for greatly.

Ruth, in turn, had a woman she cared for very much. And, sadly, a demon had stolen Ruth’s love away from her.

“Do not follow her,” warned Cambiel, “for if you follow your heart through the gates of perdition, I cannot go with you.”

“Sorry, babe,” replied Ruth, “but I am *very* gay and *very* romantic and that has made me reckless.”

And Cambiel nodded sadly, for all of this was true and good.

But as Ruth walked the lonely, tortured path into the underworld, an idea occurred to Cambiel.

Sure, they couldn’t walk or fly into hell, but maybe they could *ride* there.

Now, a fully grown horse could not hope to navigate the depths beneath the world, for their sense of self-preservation was too strong. An adult horse would flee from the screams of imploding souls and the winding geometry of impossibly winding roads.

But a young horse? With a child’s innocence, with bright young eyes, who had not yet been tricked into believing in its mortality?

That was a mount that could bear an angel (who was, after all, light enough to dance on the head of a pin) into the fearful caverns of the beyond. Honestly, the little horse seemed weirdly enthused about the whole thing. 

And so did Cambiel guide a pair of reckless and romantic (and useless) lesbians out of hell.

When the pair thanked the angel, all they said was this:

“Don’t thank me, thank the little horse. It turns out … foals rush in where angels fear to tread.”

[yabakuboi]

There's an incredibly pretty girl at the front desk in Family Video, and Steve—Eddie's boyfriend of eight months—is leaning over the counter with a sly smile and half-lidded eyes.

Eddie pauses in the doorway, struck dumb for a moment as he takes in the scene, and then gleefully ducks down behind the nearest shelf.

"So tell me," Steve says, all low and intimate. "What kind of movie were you looking for?"

"Um," the girl says. She doesn't sound very enthusiastic—barely indulgent at best. Eddie wishes he could see, but any sight of him will ruin Steve's chances right now. He's got a pretty good mental picture though. "I really like those old black and white movies, the really glamorous ones, you know?"

"Oh, totally," Steve sighs, like he's swooning. "Like Cary Grant, Clarke Gabel?" Eddie can practically hear his smirk. "Katharine Hepburn? Ginger Rogers?"

"Oh, I love Ginger Rogers!"

"Really?" Steve says matching her excitement. "Well, you're just in luck! Robin here knows all about those old black and white movies, don't you Robin?"

Eddie presses a hand to his mouth to hide his snickering. Robin had looked like a hooked fish when he'd walked in, she's gotta be gaping stupidly right now. "Uuuh," he hears her mumbling, and tries not to snort too loud. "Y-Yeah, uh, golden age of Hollywood stuff, absolutely. I could? Show you where they are?"

"Oh my gosh, that would be amazing!" the girl says, her interest in the conversation now warmed by several degrees. Eddie is still a little in awe of how well his boyfriend can sniff out gay girls.

"I got the front here, Robin," Steve cuts in smoothly. "You ladies take your time, make sure you pick out a good one!"

Eddie waits another beat, listening at their footsteps shuffle away, before he pops up from behind the shelf. Steve, lighting up like a Christmas tree, beams at him.

"Am I a genius or what?" he whispers, grinning ear to ear.

"Your lesbian powers know no equal," Eddie says just as quietly, taking the girl's spot at the counter, leaning into Steve's space. Steve happily mirrors him, until they're tucked together, the world narrowing down to the two of them. It's Eddie's favorite place to be. "All hail Steve Harrington, blessid he, lesbian whisper. Come to aid all useless queers in the fight against singledom."

"Thank you, thank you," Steve says with an air of novel benevolence. "I promise to only use my powers for good."

"Dingus. Doofus."

They jump away from each other as if shocked. Robin glowers at them both, but the pretty girl behind her is giggling and standing way too close for friendly, just at Robin's elbow.

"Move it, lovebirds," she hisses as she rounds the desk. "I need to check Claire out."

"I think you already have," Steve says. His smile this time is down right evil.

Robin actually hisses at him, and hip checks him away from the register. Eddie does a bow, sweeping his arm out to give Claire the prime spot in front of the desk, before he turns back to Steve.

"My dear, if you could please," he simpers, all posh and nasally. "Show me to your finest, grossest horror movie, thank you my good sir."

"Ugh," Steve groans already heading off into the shelves, not waiting for Eddie to follow. "You're lucky I love you, Ed. Shit gives me nightmares."

"I know," Eddie sings, chasing him. "I love you too."

[actuallyjustabiscuit]

I’ve been dissecting Ragatha’s character with surgical tools because I am not the least bit normal about this damn doll, and something that I’ve gathered upon rewatch is how much responsibility Ragatha has been taking for Pomni’s first day. Prepare for another character analysis about everyone’s favorite confirmed girl failure

Useless Lesbian jokes aside, it’s so interesting to me how much Ragatha cares about Pomni liking her. To the point where she believes Pomni’s terrible awful no good very bad first day has some relevance to how she thinks Pomni thinks of her.

At first I thought this was just the result of her people pleasing tendencies that needs everyone to like her for her to have any degree of self worth (no I’m not projecting, shut up), but she doesn’t seem to be this pushy about getting along with anyone else.

Another possible reason for this behavior was that she just wants to make the newcomer feel as comfortable and welcomed as possible to lessen the blow of being trapped, and she’s doing such a bad job of it that it’s making her think less of herself for failing. But here she’s specifically talking about the “horrible experience” of having to deal with Kaufmo’s abstraction.

Here Ragatha is literally writhing in pain from glitching after getting her ass handed to her by Kaufmo and she briefly stops Pomni from leaving to get the help she needs to apologize to her about having a bad first day.

Honestly, Pomni’s awkward response to this was hella fitting.

Like, Jesus Christ, Ragatha. Priorities girl.

When I first watched this, I thought her little apology fell under the same category as someone apologizing for hearing bad news, (y’know like a “I’m sorry your dog died” kinda thing) said in a way to express sympathy over a bad situation. But in episode 2, it really feels like she actually blames herself for what happened.

and I think I know why.

It was Ragatha’s idea to go see Kaufmo in the first place and introduce Pomni to him. We know that she honestly believes that participating in the adventures are essential to persevering a person’s sanity. And yet she didn’t suggest to play along with the game Caine left for them. Instead, she thought it would be nice to check up on a friend who was suspiciously absent. And was, according to what Kinger told them before they left, slipping off the deep end.

I know hindsight is 20/20, but these should have been major red flags for her that Kaufmo may not have been alright and they should’ve all probably stayed away. And I think she realized that too late, which is what might’ve led to that awkward apology to Pomni in the hallway.

Kinger is right to reassure Ragatha that Pomni doesn’t blame her for what happened (which is why she thought Ragatha was being weird for apologizing in the first place), but I imagine Ragatha is the type of person who can’t help but dwell on the “should’ve, would’ve, could’ve”s of life. So it makes sense that she would continue to take things personally. And I bet it got even worse after

…yeah. That.

Of course, I don’t think Ragatha could’ve known that was gonna be the outcome. But she was very wary when Pomni suggested it, loudly wondering if that was even “allowed”. But she went along with it cuz it made Pomni happy.

Whelp.

Yeah this woman’s self esteem so about to go into the negatives. Which is why I’m really hoping for a good heart-to-heart between these two. Cuz they both really need it. Ragatha especially.

I think it would really help her to know Pomni wouldn’t want her to feel like less than nothing.

[genderkoolaid]

Examples of transandrophobia: i've seen sections of Leslie Feinberg's piece "Sisterhood: Make it Real" passed around this site for literally years, and TODAY was the first time that I saw the whole thing and learned that ze called out cisfeminists in it for getting rid of trans men the second they started transitioning. Like I always thought it was a good piece but I had literally NO IDEA that it talked about trans men because that part was never included in posts about it, even when those posts were calling out cisfeminism for being transphobic. I'm just gobsmacked tbh

This is a great point!

Honestly more people need to read that full chapter. There's a lot of really good points.

Amongst other things, Leslie talks about how "women good men bad" is poor feminism:

Of course, as a result of the oppression women face growing up in such a violently anti-woman environment, some women draw a line between women as allies and men as enemies. While it’s understandable that an individual might do so out of fear, this approach fails as theory. It lumps John Brown and John D. Rockefeller together as enemies and Sojourner Truth and Margaret Thatcher together as allies. This view of who to trust and who to dread will not keep women safe or keep the movement on course.

How feminine men are victims of gender oppression:

The oppression of feminine men is an important one to me, since I consider drag queens to be my sisters. I’ve heard women criticize drag queens for “mocking women’s oppression” by imitating femininity to an extreme, just as I’ve been told that I am imitating men. Feminists are justifiably angry at women’s oppression - so am I! I believe, however, that those who denounce drag queens aim their criticism at the wrong people. This misunderstanding doesn’t take gender oppression into account. For instance, to criticize male-to-female drag performers, but leave out a discussion of gender oppression, lumps drag queen RuPaul together with men like actor John Wayne! RuPaul is a victim of gender oppression, as well as of racism.

How masculine women are assumed to know less about gender oppression:

But I grew up very masculine, so the complex and powerful set of skills that feminine girls developed to walk safely through the world were useless to me. I had to learn a very different set of skills, many of them martial. While we both grew up as girls, our experiences were dissimilar because our gender expressions were very different. Masculine girls and women face terrible condemnation and brutality including sexual violence - for crossing the boundary of what is “acceptable” female expression. But masculine women are not assumed to have a very high consciousness about fighting women’s oppression, since we are thought to be imitating men.

And as you said, how trans men deserve access to women's and lesbian's spaces without having their transmasculinity ignored or seen as being butch-in-denial:

And our female-to-male transsexual brothers have a right to feel welcome at women’s movement events or lesbian bars. However, that shouldn’t feed into to misconception that all female-to-male transsexuals were butches who just couldn’t deal with their oppression as lesbians. If that were true, then why does a large percentage of post-transition transsexual men identify as gay and bisexual, which may have placed them in a heterosexual or bisexual status before their transition? There are transsexual men who did help build the women’s and lesbian communities, and still have a large base of friends there. They should enjoy the support of women on their journey. Doesn’t everyone want their friends around them at a time of great change? And women could learn a great deal about what it means to be a man or a woman from sharing the lessons of transition.

Not that "trans women belong in feminism" wouldn't be a good point on its own, but people's selectivity with which parts of that chapter they share definitely warrant scrutiny.

[steddieas-shegoes]

Nother Idea: Steve has a really bad migraine when he sees his parents for the first time post spring break from hell. He is still recovering from his injuries & his parsnts don't know how to help him. He is in tears begging his father or mother to get him Rob or Eds. And they have no clue who that is. The other parent finds a note by the main house phone and one by his bedroom phone with the names Robin & Eddie with their numbers. And they watch their adult son get coddled by a lesbian and a metalhead. Bsjsjcjdjd maybe they find out about the UD???

I TOOK A BREAK FROM PLANNING OUR WEDDING FOR THIS MY LOVE!!! You know how I feel about migraine Steve and you know how I feel about some good old hurt/comfort and how I feel about Steve's parents just being shitty always. It's like you wrote this request from MY BRAIN. It's a bit shorter than I could've done, but I am rushing out the door at this point and wanted to have it posted today in case I can't tonight. Hope you love it!!! - Mickala ❤️

-------------------------------------------------------

Luck was never on Steve’s side.

He hadn’t slept more than a few hours in weeks, his brain and body constantly running through checklists of things he had to do and people he needed to check on.

It was catching up with him in the form of the worst migraine he’s had in months.

And now his parents were home.

He could hear them talking downstairs, their voices carrying and making Steve wince against his pillow.

He managed to close his curtains when he got up to use the bathroom this morning, but hadn’t managed to do anything else. Including close his door.

He hadn’t really expected that to be an issue since he was alone all the time.

His parents hadn’t been home in nearly six months. They hadn’t even bothered to call when the “earthquake” hit.

He kept his eyes closed in hopes that they wouldn’t bother him, maybe they’d even close his door for him if they thought he was asleep.

Wishful thinking.

His dad’s booming voice was suddenly right next to him, echoing around his room and his head.

“It’s the middle of the damn day, Anne! He can’t sleep his life away!”

Steve let out a groan, burying his head as far into his pillows as he could to avoid some of the noise.

His father would give up eventually, probably call him something terrible, be disappointed, the usual. But he’d leave, and Steve could bask in the peace and quiet again.

“Do you hear me, Steven? Anne, he’s ignoring me!”

Steve groaned again as he heard his mother’s voice from the doorway.

“Richard, he’s clearly hungover. We should come back later.”

Steve loved that idea. If they left, he could try to sleep this migraine off.

“I’m not just leaving him! He has to act like a responsible adult someday, Anne. We don’t pay for this house for him to spend his days hungover in it.”

“Not hungover.”

Steve’s voice was muffled against the pillow, his head pounding with every movement of his lips, but he knew he had to at least try to stick up for himself.

“So you’re just a useless sack in the middle of the day on a Thursday for no reason, then?”

Steve let out a whine at the sharp pains shooting through his head.

“Eddie. Call?”

Words were hard when your head was trying to implode on itself.

“Who is Eddie? Is that the person who got you drunk? I will not be calling this Eddie person, and I expect you to be up, showered, and dressed by the time we are back from our business dinner. Do you understand?”

“Robin.”

“Isn’t that your girlfriend? Is she responsible for this?”

Steve wanted to scream that the people responsible for this were dead or Russian spies who were hopefully dead and no thanks to either of his parents, he often spent days like this.

Not as often since he practically had Robin and Eddie living with him, but enough.

“No. Eddie.”

“Eddie isn’t your girlfriend.” Anne was closer now. “Do you need medical attention? You’re not making any sense. Oh goodness, Richard, maybe he’s having a stroke.”

His side was pulsing. Eddie said his did too sometimes, a casual reminder that they’d been nearly eaten alive. The pain wasn’t nearly as bad as his head, though.

He needed to get to his phone so he could call Eddie.

Eddie knew what to do to help. He wouldn’t be scared of his parents.

Just as he started to move his head so he could try to roll out of bed, he heard his mom speak again, much lower, probably directly to his dad.

He had extremely sensitive hearing when he had migraines, though, so he could still hear what she was saying.

“This note has those names with phone numbers. Maybe we should call them?”

“It’s just a hangover. He has to man up.”

“It just seems like more than a hangover. He’s in real pain.”

“You do what you want. Coddle him if you must. I have a business dinner to get ready for.”

He heard his father leave the room, but didn’t bother moving.

His mom was suddenly talking into the phone.

“Is this Eddie? Yes, this is Anne Harrington. Steve’s mom, yes. He had your number written down by the phone. He’s asking for you and he seems to be quite hungover. It’s not? Oh. Oh. Okay. Well, could you come keep an eye on him, then? I would appreciate it. I could pay you.” Steve heard yelling on the other end and tried to smirk, but his face was in too much pain. “Okay, see you soon.”

“Steve? Eddie’s coming. He didn’t want any money or anything to sit with you, but I’ll leave some on the counter just in case.”

“Loves me.”

“What was that?”

Steve turned his head to the side so he could say it again, emphasize to his mother that people actually loved him.

“He loves me.”

He was met with silence, but he was happy about it, his head still finding new ways to hurt even after 100 migraines.

His mom left the room, but he knew Eddie was coming, so he rested.

When he woke up, Robin’s hands were in his hair. She was gently combing through it, from scalp to ends, being careful to avoid any tangles that may have been hiding.

“Robs.”

“Hey Dingus,” she whispered, knowing he couldn’t handle normal talking voices when it was this bad. “Gave Eds and I quite a scare having your mom call, you know.”

“Sorry. Couldn’t.”

“I know. It’s okay.”

“Eddie?”

“He’s downstairs giving your parents the riot act while he unloads groceries. He’s pissed.”

“At me?”

“No, never you. He’s got your extra strength pain meds that you were out of though.”

Steve had forgotten to get more last time he went to the store and he admittedly wouldn’t be this bad off if he had them ready to go when he woke up this morning.

But Eddie always took care of him and Robin always took care of him, and he was allowed to not have to do everything for himself anymore.

“It’s like you don’t even care that he’s hurt because of fucking government conspiracies!”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Robin’s hand froze as they listened to Eddie and his dad go back and forth.

“The Russians almost killed him! Where were you? Not fucking here! The monsters almost killed him! Where were you? Probably on a business trip or whatever it is you rich fucks like to do with your time that should be spent checking in on your son.”

“Oh boy,” Robin slowly started to get up, causing Steve to whimper. “I’m gonna send him up here to cool off. Just breathe.”

So he did. He breathed in, then out, in, then out.

He did that until he felt Eddie’s hands in his hair, lips on his forehead.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he whispered against his hair. “Brought you some water and meds.”

“Yelling?”

“They deserve it. But don’t worry about that right now. Just take these pills and sleep. I got ya.”

“Got me.”

“Yeah, sweetheart, always got you.”

He could hear Robin yelling downstairs now, but he didn’t focus on it, following Eddie’s advice and sitting up just enough to swallow the pills and half a glass of water.

As he fell asleep, he heard Robin whispering to Eddie.

“He’s got us, at least.”

“Yeah, he does.”

[ahfrickenfrick]

Incorrect Batfam quotes but they are from my own quote book with my friends

Jason: they can’t take the L, and that’s okay, they will just die losers

———

Dick: Life is long when you are but a simple whore

———

Damian: who would want your organs, Drake?

———

Cass: i didn’t get grounded and that’s cause I’m the favorite

———

Tim: that’s poggers- i mean tragic… that’s troggers

———

Duke: as the second favorite.. i can convince Bruce that was a lie

———

Jason: he showed up into my apartment unannounced what if i had bitches at my crib then what?

———

Damian: it’s like that show… odd obsessions

Tim: …you mean my strange addiction?

———

Bruce: all right kids, put on your ears we are going to Chili’s

———

Jason: i could be a cop if i wasn’t a decent person

———

Dick: it’s his nighttime fur suit

Bruce: IT IS NOT A FUR SUIT

———

Tim: when was the last time you went to the eye doctor?

Jason: right before the warehouse ‘incident’

———

Jason: the only minor you are is a minor inconvenience

———

Cass: get ready to throw up :)

———

Damian: i am so happy for you, tomorrow is not promised

———

Jason: I think I’m going crazy

Duke: it’s okay, happens to all theater kids

———

Dick: for a miracle you sure are shit

Jason: i wish I died that day

———

Bruce: *spends over $100 on cat toys for Alfred the cat* gotta get my grandkitty something

———

Jason: what you useless bitch? ACAB!

———

Steph: i’m a grown up, i can buy my own poprocks!

———

Duke: lesbians are pretty cool, and you can quote me on that

———

Bruce: isn’t Bernard gay? that was a joke don’t write that down

———

Jason: that’s pretty weird cause you’re a future murder victim

———

Tim: do you still believe in Santa?

Damian: I am not old enough to get into political disagreements

———

Tim: im having really bad déjà vu

Steph: okay? kill yourself and it’ll go away

[balkanradfem]

Okay so, a long while ago I had written about noticing a woman who moved into the building, who had short hair and got my attention immediately (she was insanely hot). I creepily looked at her trough the window at one point and felt bad about it, but I didn't know how to approach her without being super obvious (I lose my wits when I talk to women).

Since then I had met her in the hallways multiple times, and she's always seemed super happy to talk to me! Even grinned when she saw me, and at moments seemed as flustered as me while we were talking. I found out she lives on the floor above me, has a very young son she takes care of on her own, and works the night shift, meaning she's super busy and barely sleeps. I once saw her in the evening waiting for a ride and wished her good luck at work and she went 'you too!' and then realized I'm coming home and added 'tomorrow!' which I thought was adorable (it was Saturday).

Anyway I still have not sussed out if she is interested in women at all, I can't figure it out because I have no sense for these things and had only assumed maybe, because of the haircut, but she has a son, so she could be bisexual. Those are things I'm thinking in my brain, but a heterosexual woman can have a buzzcut too? Right? I could be completely off and just dazzled by her appearance and by how nice she is.

However this morning I had a longer conversation with her, I was getting home from slug patrol, and she was coming home from work. I held the door opened for her and she paused to chat with me in the hallway. We were talking about work and the building and at one point, unprompted, she touched my hand, then commented on how cold it was, and then touched it more, and I'm like, I don't know what's going on, that doesn't usually happen to me. A minute later she decided I needed a hug and hugged me, and I was mortified because I just came home from the garden in my filthy clothing so I panicked and apologized for my awful getup, but she was like 'so what?'.

So now I'm even more in my lesbian brain trying to figure it out, would a heterosexual do this, do women do this randomly, could it be because she has a child and I also look like a little wet child to her (she's 9 years older than me) so I just looked pathetic enough??? I also told her, with my brain non-functional, about 10 times that I find her really nice and that I love her haircut and that she's so kind and how wonderful it was of her to stop and chat with me even though she's so busy and I don't know if I should have said any of that??? I had the urge to invite her over and make her breakfast but felt it would be too forward to ask her to come to my apartment and it would make me creepy, and also I don't know what to do, I would like to befriend her but whenever I do talk to her I am useless.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Wibta if I asked my friend's girlfriend to stop making LGBTQ+ specific jokes with me?

Okay I know that title sounds bad but I don't know what the right path to take in this situation is.

I (21f) am GNC, but I am straight and cis. Because I'm GNC I have been told I don't give cishet "vibes". I have been frequently told that I have "bisexual energy" and like I don't know how to respond to that. Like is that a compliment? What does that mean? Bisexuals are all very different people idk what about me you're referring to. Thanking them sounds weird, but replying like "well, I'm not bi" sounds rude/biphobic. Idk. But I get it a lot.

My roommate/friend (20f) recently started going out with a new girl (21f). She's lovely and they're really happy. The only thing is that I'm pretty sure that the girlfriend has assumed I'm in some way LGBTQ, because she's been making a lot of community in-jokes with me that I really don't think I, as someone who isn't in the community, really should be privy to. It's been a lot of "useless lesbian" jokes and similar, and honestly I don't think she'd be making the same jokes if she knew I was straight. Like me joining in with the jokes feels homophobic, I guess? But also I don't know how to just casually inform her I'm straight without her getting the wrong idea?

What are these acronyms?

[unclewaynemunson]

'I don't even know anymore why I wanted to do this in the first place! What if I'm terrible at kissing, Nance? I've never kissed anyone, I have no idea how to do it! And Vickie had a boyfriend, a boyfriend who was in college, she must've gotten tons of practice, she'll definitely know what she's doing! She's gonna want to kiss me tomorrow, I'm sure! And it's not like I don't want to kiss her, I do, but what if I mess up? Or what if I'm spectacularly, irredeemably bad at it? What do I do? She'd never wanna see me again and I'd have to move states because she'll tell everyone how bad I am at kissing and nobody's ever gonna wanna date me again and –'

'Please stop talking,' Nancy finally says. This rant has been going on for over two minutes and she can't take any more of it. 'Sit down. Take a breath. You'll be fine.'

Robin does exactly what she says, flopping down on the edge of Nancy's bed while finally breathing again for what feels like the first time ever since the two of them walked into Nancy's room earlier.

'First of all, Vickie is clearly crazy about you, so it'll be very hard to mess this one up.' Nancy tries to ignore the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach when she says those words. All she wants to be is supportive of Robin, it doesn't make sense that she feels like smashing things every time she envisions her friend finding happiness with Vickie. She should be better than this.

'And second,' she continues, 'Nobody is irredeemably bad at kissing. That's not a thing. I'm sure you'll do great.'

'You can't know that!' Robin sputters. 'I might be the first person ever! Somebody's got to be!'

'Want me to teach you?'

'Wha- What?'

At least Robin is quiet now, but man, one look at her face tells Nancy that this was a terrible idea. There's no going back now, though.

'Me and Barb used to practice kissing all the time,' she says, trying to go for casual with a little shrug of her shoulders - no need for Robin to know that that's not exactly true.

Robin is still staring at her like she's just sprouted a second head.

'Nance,' is all she says, her voice all weak and quiet.

And something in the way she sounds is making Nancy forget entirely that this was a bad idea. It speeds up her heartbeat and makes her want nothing more than to be the one who gets to teach Robin how to kiss. That's what friends are for, right?

Nancy goes to sit down right next to Robin, their legs touching.

'We don't have to,' she says, giving Robin an easy out. 'I just thought it could ease your mind, knowing you won't mess up with Vickie.'

'You'd be okay with – kissing a lesbian?'

Nancy shrugs again, trying to feign the confidence she certainly doesn't feel in this moment. 'Yeah, why not?'

'Okay. Alright. Let's do this,' Robin says, sounding like she's gearing up for a big soccer match instead of practicing kissing. 'Teach me everything you know, master.' It sounds just a little bit jeering and she wiggles her eyebrows as she says it, and somehow, that makes Nancy oddly nervous.

Nancy swallows. It's definitely a bad idea. But then why does it feel like an undoubtedly good idea?

'Okay,' she starts to explain, 'It's all about patience. About build-up. If you were about to go on a date with a guy, my advice would be to wait. Always wait until he leans in, that's how it's supposed to go, right? But I guess with two girls, you'd both be waiting forever, so that'd be useless.'

'So... Don't wait?'

'See how it goes,' Nancy advises. 'If she's giving you a certain look... You go for it. Lean in. Slowly, you're gonna want to take your time, remember the build-up.' She starts leaning towards Robin, but Robin immediately leans back.

'Wait, wait, wait,' she blurts out. 'What do you mean by “look?” How do I know if she's giving me a “look”?' There's something bordering on panic in her eyes and Nancy automatically grabs her hand to calm her down.

'You'll recognize it when it's there, I promise,' she says. 'It's something like... Like she's expecting something from you. Something like this.' She widens her eyes a little bit and tilts her head upwards, closer to Robin's.

'Oh,' Robin breathes out. 'Yeah, I – I guess I'll recognize that. That's –' She clears her throat. 'So then I lean in?'

'Yes,' Nancy mumbles. 'You lean in, but not all the way, you gotta give her the opportunity to reciprocate. So you start leaning in, you wait until she does the same, and then you'll kiss her. And if she starts leaning in, you lean towards her, and then wait for her to cross the rest of the distance.'

'That's a lot of rules.'

'It's easier than it sounds. I swear. C'mon, lean in.'

Robin swallows visibly, and Nancy realizes that she never let go of Robin's hand when the place where their palms are touching is getting sweaty. It doesn't bother her enough to pull her hand back, though.

Before she starts leaning in, Robin licks her lips - and suddenly Nancy can't see anything else than that: she's wearing magenta colored lipstick and her tongue looks pink and soft, and the weird thought comes to Nancy that she wouldn't mind finding out what it feels like to have that tongue exploring her mouth. But before she can stop to unravel that thought, Robin leans a few inches closer and Nancy brings her focus back to the task at hand.

'Close your eyes,' she whispers as she answers by leaning into Robin's space, too.

Robin abruptly pulls back. 'Then how can I see if you're leaning back in?!'

Nancy can't stop a giggle escaping from her throat; Robin pulls her hand out of Nancy's to give her a painful jab between her ribs.

'Don't laugh at me!'

'Wait, no, I wasn't laughing at you!' Nancy rushes to say. 'I'm sorry. I won't laugh. It's just- you were kinda cute about it.'

The words leave her mouth before Nancy's brain can catch up. For a moment, she wonders if this is how Robin feels all the time around Vickie, blurting out things she doesn't want to say but can't seem to stop herself from doing.

'Okay.' Robin takes a deep breath, the rosy color fading from her cheeks again. 'Let's try again, then.'

'Just – close your eyes as soon as you see me leaning, alright?'

'Alright.' She nods. 'Here we go.' She shuffles on the bed, then catches Nancy by surprise when she rests a hand on Nancy's knee.

'I lean in,' she says softly before she starts doing just that.

'You don't have to announce it,' Nancy points out with a smile.

'Okay, alright.' Robin makes a dorky gesture like she zips up her mouth and clears her throat again. Then, she leans towards Nancy... Nancy lets herself be pulled towards Robin as if there's a magnet between their mouths... She watches Robin's eyes fall shut and follows her example...

And suddenly, Robin's lips are on hers. They're soft; it all feels much softer than when she'd kiss Steve or Jonathan...

It only takes a few seconds until Nancy pulls back. She gives Robin an encouraging smile.

'That's great,' she establishes. She somehow still feels the heat of Robin's mouth against her own, like a phantom touch lingering on her skin, something she can't quite shrug off. 'Perfect first kiss. You have nothing to worry about.'

'That's all?' Robin asks; it sounds confused.

'Oh no, this was just the beginning,' Nancy explains. 'Like I said, it's all about the build-up. For the first kiss, this is it. Then, if it's as good as this one, you'll both want more. So you'll give each other a smile and make sure your lips find each other again. You don't need all the steps of leaning in, you already know you want to kiss each other at this point – unless one of you takes a step back after you stop the first kiss, then you know that no second kiss is gonna follow.'

'So if I like it, don't take a step back.'

Nancy nods. 'Don't take a step back. Don't let go of the points where you're touching her.'

Robin's fingers twitch against Nancy's knee. It's very distracting, but Nancy tries her best to stay focused. She has a lesson to teach, after all.

'Okay. And then?'

'You both lean back in. And you...' Nancy pauses to think of a good way to describe it. 'You explore,' she settles on saying. 'You feel out each other's lips, and from there, you basically just go with what feels right. Get your tongues involved at some point – but not too much.' She adds that last part strictly. 'It should be... delicate. You start out soft, alright? Only when it starts to take longer, you can get more heated, take some more risks. Then you just feel out how she responds and you adjust to that.'

Robin is frowning, now. 'That sounds very complicated,' she remarks.

'Let's just try and see how it goes,' says Nancy in a reassuring voice.

They start from the top with Nancy's expectant gaze and taking their turns leaning in. Then, Robin's lips are against Nancy's again, just as soft as the first time.

When she pulls back, her eyes wander over Nancy's face like she's searching for something. It's a bit stilted, the way she's waiting for Nancy's body language to tell her if there's gonna be a second kiss.

'Should I go on?' Robin asks softly.

Nancy has to suppress another giggle while she nods.

'You don't have to ask that,' she whispers in the second it takes Robin to lean in again.

'Sorry,' Robin whispers back right before she presses her lips against Nancy's another time.

This time, her touch is firmer. Nancy can feel all kinds of little things, like the muscles built by years of playing trumpet and the way her breath ghosts against Nancy's cheek when she breathes out. She can taste the peppermints they'd been sharing earlier.

The bed creaks when one of them – Nancy doesn't even know who – shifts, and suddenly their bodies are pressed closer together, Robin's arms around her back and her own hands divided between Robin's shoulders and her waist. She can feel the shape of Robin's upper body where it's pressed against her own, so much softer than what she's used to feeling when kissing a boy, and she notices how they've unconsciously aligned their breathing. Their tongues find each other, gently, almost shy, and it oddly tastes like wanting more. It turns out Robin knows exactly how to suck on Nancy's lower lip just right, how to make heat course through her veins and get her hungry for –

Robin pulls back – and simultaneously pulls Nancy right back to earth. Her cheeks are bright red again and the look in her eyes is unsure.

'Was that okay?'

Nancy has to take a few seconds to blink, catch her breath and return to reality. The reality where they're friends, not lovers. The reality where they're two girls, practicing something that's not about them at all. The reality where she's helping Robin prepare for a date with Vickie, and very much not kissing her senseless or letting her explore every single inch of her mouth and possibly her body while sparks fly between them and every touch of Robin's fingers is setting Nancy on fire.

She nods.

'Yeah,' she manages to say. 'Yeah, that was – that was really good, Robin. Seriously, you're a total natural. If this isn't gonna blow Vickie's socks right off...'

Robin smiles. She gently bumps her shoulder against Nancy's. 'Thanks, Nance,' she says. 'I gotta admit: you've been a pretty okay teacher.'

Robin's lipstick has faded and there's a slight smudge of magenta in the corner of her mouth. Her hair is disheveled, just like the collar of her blouse, where Nancy apparently grabbed her without even noticing...

I did that, is the only feverish thought left in Nancy's brain. I made her look like that.

Read part 2 here

[umeoniii]

Can you do lesbian fluff (or smut) for the aot girls????

lesbian relationship hcs w aot girls

nsfw & sfw

w: annie, mikasa, sasha,

annie:

☆ very introverted obvi, but she can actually be very extroverted w her s/o

☆ prefers cute dates at food places like bakeries or sushi restaurants

☆ loves when her s/o makes her sweets

☆ for gifts i feel like she writes things, like letters or poems maybe even a song (probably too embarrassed to sing though)

☆ not the most affectionate but when she is she’s a lot, like a lil puppy dog

☆ sleeps a lot, she sleeps all over her s/o

she falls asleep on their lap, shoulders, stomach i feel like she’s a really sleepy girl

☆ likes hearing her s/o’s stories and adventures

she likes giving her input and opinions

☆ wears ur hoodies maybe bcs she likes the smell, maybe bcs their comfier, maybe bcs she likes bugging you

☆ gets flustered when you even show that you think abt her

☆ actually anything you do makes her flustered deep down

☆ takes turns w u giving back massages

☆ forcefully takes you w her to the gym

you don’t even have to work out but she still wants you there

☆ she lets you touch her abs, even though she finds it odd

~

♡ she’s more dominant BUT she can be more subby depending on how she’s feeling

♡ loud

♡ likes scissoring

♡ when she is feeling submissive she likes when her s/o eats her out

♡ owns a good amount of sex toys, she bought them really for you

♡ very great stamina

♡ can last a few rounds before getting overstimulated and tired

mikasa:

☆ little spoon when sleeping

☆ very introverted even with her s/o

☆ likes quite and secluded dates, like a picnic

☆ likes when you take photos of her but she doesn’t like for the whole world to see them

☆ makes things for her s/o

something as small as cookies or as big as a crocheted sweater

☆ type of gf who would share a milkshake willingly

☆ super cuddly and warm

☆ remembers lots of things abt you, some things you’d render “useless”

like you had a hamster named zunie in 5th grade

☆ has a playlist of songs that make her think of u

☆ let’s you pick out her outfits sometimes

☆ keeps all the plushies you’ve ever bought her

~

♡ sub

♡ whimpers and whines

♡ holds you very tightly

♡ sometimes she lowkey gets all somber and sad during sex whispering stuff like “please don’t leave me ever”

♡ sex is very intimate w her

♡ squirter

♡ when she is giving to her s/o she literally eats pussy like a starved woman

sasha:

☆ naggy loud gf

it’s very sweet though

☆ shows her s/o a lot of love…. a lot

she gives you wet kisses and blows raspberries into your tummy

☆ you guys alr know she likes dates at restaurants but i feel like she’d also like people watching, feeding ducks, or the movies. she likes fun stuff

☆ never a dull moment with her

☆ sleeps wildly, sometimes you just gotta sleep on the couch. she probably snores too.

☆ she’s the type to post all pictures of you for the world to see. ALL

☆ makes slideshows on stuff like why she thinks you guys should buy a roomba

☆ forces u to do couplely things like match outfits

☆ buys corny cards for holidays

“you’re purrfecf for me! love, sash”

☆ play wrestles

takes it way too far. she jumps off the couch and tries to body slam you

☆ if you have bigger boobs just know she’s not gonna leave em alone

she lies on them to sleep and she always just touches them and gropes them

she makes “jokes” about you breastfeeding her and calling you mommy (it’s not really a joke)

~ ♡ def calls you mommy in bed regardless of chest size

♡ with all the eating she does she’s gotta be able to eat pussy

♡ vv whiny

♡ sub

♡ cant last longer than around 2 minutes

♡ will literally touch herself right next to u in bed while you’re sleep

♡ puts whipped cream on your body and licks and eats it off

.

a/n: i am SO sorry this took so long, i literally got stuck and was gonna try and make this one super duper long but i gave up on it and finished it last .°(ಗдಗ。)° . i hope u enjoy it n’ if there’s another character u wanna see u can request it! <333

[snarky-art]

Thriving vs Survivng, am I right, lads?

Bloom and Stella eventually get married, Daphne and the woman with her, Nadia, an oc I made and have mentioned a few times, get married with Daphne to be next in line as Queen of Domino, and Aisha and Musa get married one day, but are currently in this pic going through some Shit that’s putting a huge damper on that.

More info on everyone and political drama stuff below the cut!

Bloom and Stella are thriving.

Polyamory is super duper normalized in a decent amount of places, and is considered a norm on Solaria. Stella is eventually married both to Brandon and Bloom. Both of Bloom’s sets of parents love Stella and are incredibly happy for her. After much talk and deliberation between Daphne, Bloom, Marion, and Oritel to see how Bloom and Daphne are feeling after Daphne is healed up and in a good place and has processed shit, it’s decided Daphne will continue as heir and shall be next in line for rulership. Bloom meanwhile shall continue her role as guardian fairy, Holder of The Flame, and eventually upon her marriage to Stella will be Queen Regent of Solaria. She has a lot more flexibility this way too to go where she feels most comfortable, between Earth and other areas in The Magical Realm. Oritel and Marion don’t want Bloom or Daphne to feel trapped or be stifled with immense pressure if they can help it, and Bloom is still most comfortable on Earth, so having the option to go back and forth is important and something Marion and Oritel want her to not feel cut off from it, a mistake they made early on when they first got brought back from their stasis.

Formal picture of Nadia finally! An oc from Earth I made who’s Daphne’s gf and eventual wife. I thought it would be nice for Daphne to not worry about contextualizing her grief and trauma with someone who already had preconceived notions of her from myths and legends over the last 1000+ years.

Nadia: so you’re Bloom’s sister! That’s so cool! Do you have magic too?

Daphne, who at this point while not the holder of the flame anymore is still an incredibly powerful fire elemental who retains her nymphix and could hand bloom’s ass to her and call upon The Dragon at will whenever she wants: uh, yeah, some I guess.

Bloom: glad to see being a useless lesbian is a universal trait instead of just earth specific

Daphne: exCUSE ME-

Royal balls be like “The Incarnation of God Itself, heir to The Great Pillar of all of Magic Domino, The Dragon Reborn, Supreme Nymph of Magix, Princess Daphne, and Nadia, Barista on Tuesday, Thursday, and Weekends, of the plant Earth”

Like, oh boy, THEE DAPHNE, and Nadia from Starbucks.

Also don’t worry it’s not actually a Starbucks. It’s a small local cafe and bakery spot that Bloom really likes. Daphne went with her once, saw Nadia, and went 👀. Daphne doesn’t even like coffee also she just goes there for Nadia and was too anxious to ask about any other drinks so she just gets what Bloom got, would makes Bloom, who is not at all rich on Earth, pay for it, and then didn’t actually drink it.

Also, Nadia is definitely wearing heels here.

She’s only around 5’9 or ~175cm, while as I’ve mentioned before, Daphne is 6’7 or ~200cm.

She like to wear different heels and go “ok NOW how close am I to being taller than you” or sometimes go “ok, I think I beat you this time” when she tries on a new pair

She’s never close obviously and they both know that because hehe funny joke, but Daphne will still go “oh, you just might’ve this time.”

Musa and Aisha meanwhile are Struggling. Not only is Musa someone who is already insanely anti-monarch in her governmental views, even one that operates more as a democracy, the government she’s working with can’t stand her.

I’ve mentioned in these posts how marriage works on Andros, and Musa is Not It. She’s not even a Land Androsian, which would’ve been considered a bit of a scandal because of how their government structure is set up. No it’s much worse, for oh no, she’s not an Androsian at all! Truly horrific (I say this sarcastically, but that’s genuinely what the nobles and a chunk of the population feel).

Musa is doing what she can to appease Androsian court.

Gold is a big fucking no no on Andros, but she doesn’t want to give that up since it’s a really important part of her culture.

Aisha is standing with her on that, but it doesn’t make it easier to deal with the assholes in court.

She’s even muted her reds to lean more towards purples and blues.

Muting the reds was a huge olive branch of sorts and she’s pissed about it and doesn’t like doing it (but she did it, and it wasn’t even appreciated, but WHATEVER), but she refuses to get rid of the golds (good for her).

Aisha has gold nail polish here also. She’s doing what she can, and eventually is just gonna say fuck it and start wearing straight up gold with her silvers and tell Musa to get back in the bright red or so help me-

Stella let’s Aisha borrow her stash specifically when she first start and immediately commissions some custom ones done for Aisha’s measurements.