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augustjustice · 4 months

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you wanna feel how it feels? (let's exchange the experience) 2/?

Part 1 | AO3 Link

With this second chapter, the bodyswapping shenanigans have officially arrived!

What a weird fucking dream that had been.

Not quite as bad as some of the nightmares he’d had before, not by a long shot–and Eddie would take his breaks where he could get them, even the small ones, given how few and far between they”were–but, still. Pretty damn bizarre.

As he came more and more into consciousness, the unpleasant sensation of pressure building at his temples increased. Eddie dug the heel of his hand into the side of his head, searching for a little relief. It didn’t feel quite like a headache coming on, not exactly, but instead just something slightly–off.

Blinking his eyes open blearily, Eddie found himself squinting against the edges of sunlight streaming in between blinds that were framed by–checkered curtains?

He sat up abruptly, neck swiveling around to take in his surroundings. The combination of the motion and the identical pattern of cream and brown and blue on both the curtains and the walls was enough to make his head spin a little. He recognized it immediately, though, even as he realized that he definitely wasn’t in his own bedroom.

Because he was…in Steve’s?

What the fuck, had he fallen asleep here? That would explain the dull throb in his head–if he’d come over to Stevie’s place, hung out, broken into his father’s expensive booze and maybe shared a joint, it’d make sense he was feeling it the morning after.

Except that…Eddie had absolutely no memory of any of that. Not even like…lapses from getting too drunk lack of memory, but nada, a total void, not even a glimmer of recollection.

Shit. He really hoped he wasn’t going to have to add memory loss to the growing list of his post-Upside Down medical complications.

Eddie turned to the other side of the bed, hoping that maybe Steve could fill in some of the gaps for him–and found it empty, not so much as a tuft of voluminous brown hair sticking out from the comforter in sight.

Which wasn’t all that unusual, really. Steve pretty much always let Eddie crash in his room when he stayed over, and he was more of an early riser than Eddie had ever been–Eddie considered himself much more of the late night owl type, teasing Steve that all the fun stuff didn’t really get started until after dark. So it wasn’t that waking up alone in Steve’s room was a first, or anything like that, but he still felt totally thrown off kilter by his complete and utter lack of clarity on how he’d ended up there in the first place.

“Steve?” Eddie called out, hoping maybe he hadn’t gone too far.

…Shit, what the fuck? That was weird as hell, too.

Eddie’s hand went straight to his throat, fingers massaging at it absently. Because his voice had come out sounding all wrong, he knew that much. But Eddie couldn’t quite put his finger on what the problem was. It wasn’t like it was jarring in a way he could easily wave away, like the days when he woke up with a hangover, voice gravelly after having slept too long and with the stench of beer breath clinging to his mouth.

No, this morning his voice sounded softer, and maybe…an octave or two higher, than usual? Which…wasn’t really a thing Eddie was aware could happen. Well, not post the embarrassing phase of voice cracking puberty he had already had to suffer through, at least.

And besides all that there was something…comfortingly familiar about the way it had sounded, at the same time that it was clearly completely off.

Shaking his head, Eddie climbed out of bed, now bound and determined to find Steve. eager for the reassurance of his presence while more weird shit just kept piling up. Steve was great in a crisis, Eddie had seen that first hand, and he had no doubt he’d be just as ready to handle brain fog and cracking voices as he was surreal Upside Down weirdness.

There was a full-sized ensuite bathroom just off of Steve’s bedroom that he had all to himself–a fact Eddie hadn’t been able to resist teasing him about the first time he had come over, Hawkins High’s golden boy with his own private baths–so that’s where he headed, giving the cream colored door a sharp knock and hoping against hope Steve might just be up taking a shower.

“Stevie boy? Where’d you get off too, man?”

No answer, and when Eddie pressed his ear up against the thin wood, it was quiet, no sound of faucets running or water hitting shower tiles either one.

Disappointed his first venture had been a bust, Eddie shouldered his way inside anyway. Steve was probably just downstairs making breakfast, or something. In the meantime, it might do Eddie some good to splash cold water on his face, try to see if he could clear his head a little.

Bracing one hand against the sink’s edge, Eddie reached out to flick on the tap and lifted his gaze up to his reflection to assess the damages–expecting his own frizzy, wild curls and perhaps a telltale pair of red-rimmed eyes, concrete evidence of just what he’d gotten up to last night, to meet him.

Instead…Steve Harrington–in all his freckled, messy-haired, shirtless glory–stared back at him.

And Eddie…well. Eddie was man enough to admit it.

He screamed.

The last thing he saw was a brief glimpse of Steve's wide, panicked hazel eyes looking straight at him from the mirror before, in his haste to back the fuck away, his leg hit the side of the Harrington's bathtub, and he toppled into it, landing straight on his ass.

…You'd really think, after everything that had happened, Eddie would have gotten better at handling these kind of mind-bending situations with a little bit more grace, but–nope. Apparently not.

"Fuck! That hurt," he complained from his position sprawled out in the white porcelain, rubbing a hand over his sore calf–and, yeah, okay, the muscle there was definitely more defined than usual, what the hell???

Eddie held out his hands in front of him, turned them over and wiggled his fingers. They were longer than they should have been, palms broader, skin several shades tanner than his own semi-ghostly paleness. The calluses that had worn into the grooves from long hours spent playing his sweetheart, as familiar to him as the lines on his palms, were gone.

"Jesus H. Christ," he muttered, and Steve's voice, inflection all wrong, echoed back to him from the pristine bathroom tiles.

Strike what he’d said earlier. Apparently this was weirdness surreal enough to rival whatever shit the Upside Down had going on.

Taking a moment to just…breathe, Eddie slumped against the shower wall, scruffing a hand over the top of his head in his frustration. But even that didn’t offer so much as a seconds reprieve from the situation, as Steve's shorter, silky locks made for an alien but not unpleasant texture against his palms.

"I'll give you one thing, Harrington," Eddie said as he ran his fingers through that hair again, at least taking the opportunity to enjoy the feel of it this time, "they don't call you 'The Hair' for nothing."

Once he had finally managed to awkwardly climb his way out of the bathtub–and he’d have some bruises to apologize to Steve for later, he guessed, as he’d flailed on a couple of those tries–Eddie slowly approached the mirror, with all the caution Wayne had taught him to have when confronting an animal poised to strike.

The image inside hadn’t changed, however. There was Steve, comically wide eyes still blinking back at him, shoulders hunched inward in a defensive stance that was a far cry from the confidence Steve usually exuded when striding into battle. Like he was trying to make himself smaller instead of acting as a shield, which–Eddie was trying to shrink into himself, like if he could just shy away from the reality confronting him this would all fade away like yet another bad dream.

Wrapping his knuckles lightly against the smooth surface, Eddie gave it one last shot, calling out, “Harrington? …Steve? No chance you’re just, I don’t know–trapped inside the looking glass like Alice, is there?”

But Eddie knew he wasn’t. For one thing, he’d already heard Steve’s voice, reverberating inside the bathroom, the sound the same no matter how much he tried to clear his throat. And the Steve inside the mirror had tapped his knuckles gently against Eddie’s own, matching him move for move.

There was no hiding from reality as it stared him right in the face. Especially not when all the evidence was irrefutable.

…He was inside Steve Harrington’s body.

Fascination briefly overtaking fear, Eddie poked his cheek curiously. Then, he ran a thumb over that plush bottom lip before flashing a wide, semi-maniacal grin–the kind he’d been using for years to spook the schoolyard bullies who made tormenting him their favorite pastime. He watched the Steve in the mirror do the same, the world’s strangest game of monkey-see, monkey-do.

Struck by inspiration, Eddie pressed two fingers against the side of his head in his makeshift devil’s horns and stuck out his tongue. He couldn’t suppress the cackle of laughter that burst out of him at the sight.

Even if it wasn’t real, having Steve’s wide grin shining in his direction, expression so carefree and delighted, was enough to make Eddie’s heart flutter in his chest. He’d pull pretty much any level of clownish buffoonery to get Steve to look like that when he was–well, actually here, in his own body.

Holy shit, he really was turning into such a sap.

“Get a hold of yourself, man,” Eddie muttered to himself.

Advice he ought to heed, in more ways than one. Because the thought of Steve–actual Steve, that is–and his smile brought on a whole new question, one that hit Eddie with a fresh wave of dread.

If he was here…then where the hell was Steve?

–

“Think. Think, think, think, Munson,” Eddie muttered to himself, hands raking over his head as he paced a tight circle around Steve’s distressingly barren bedroom, trying his damnedest to ignore the sound of Steve’s voice coming out of his mouth.

Squatting down into a crouch against the side of Steve’s bed, he ran a hand over his neck and along his jaw, Steve’s morning stubble rasping against his palm.

“Okay, so, for some fucking reason–I’m in Steve’s body. Which means he’s gotta be somewhere, and the rules of storytelling and movie magic and just, like…general logic dictate that if I’m in here, he must be in mine.”

That at least set forth a clear enough course of action. Go to the last place his body was–that is, sleeping at the trailer–and hopefully find Steve.

In the interest of getting dressed as quickly as possible, Eddie grabbed the first pair of pants he found hanging over the back of Steve’s desk chair, one of very few things in the room even remotely out of place. Eddie could practically hear Steve’s bitchy tone, commenting on the fashion faux pas of wearing the same outfit twice–but Eddie was ready and willing to deal with a dozen catty complaints once he found him.

"When I said I wanted to get in Steve's pants, this is not exactly what I had in mind," Eddie muttered to the universe at large as he tugged on the light denim jeans. Then, as he found himself forced to hop to pull them into place, he couldn’t help but add, “Christ, big boy, jeans tight enough for you?”

Then again, he couldn’t really argue with the results. As was obvious from the survey he did of himself in the full-length mirror hanging on Steve’s closet door, spinning around to get a better look, it wasn’t like Steve didn’t have the assets to fill them out nicely.

Which–Eddie knew that, of course he did. Steve had an ass like a ripe peach, it was kinda hard not to notice. But it was one thing to take surreptitious glances, subtly checking his friend out only when he was sure Steve wasn’t paying any attention, and another altogether to have the opportunity to just…stare as much as he wanted to.

“Jesus Christ, man, pull it together,” he scolded himself, screwing his eyes shut for a moment and shaking his head to try and clear it.

It was bad enough to think that kind of thing about your probably straight buddy on a regular basis without them being any the wiser–now that he was actually in Steve’s body, Eddie was pretty sure wasting time just unabashedly ogling him was the last thing he needed to be doing. Especially when he should be figuring out what the hell was going on instead.

(Sure as hell didn’t make it any less tempting, though.)

To finish out the look, he tossed on his favorite of Steve’s rotating sweater collection–the yellow one, recovered from the boat they had abandoned during Spring Break by some passing fishermen and so miraculously saved from the fate of sinking to the bottom of Lovers Lake, that Steve occasionally let him borrow when he was staying over and got cold.

Bouncing on the balls of his feet with nervous energy and desperately wishing he had his rings to fiddle with, Eddie gave himself one last once over.

“Shit, okay. It’ll do.” With a sharp dip of his chin, he nodded jerkily, and then sucked in a breath to steady himself. “Let’s, uh…go and find you, pretty boy.”

–

Eddie crept down the stairs, careful to keep quiet. Since the commotion he had made earlier in the bathroom hadn’t summoned the Harrington parents, it seemed a pretty safe bet that they weren’t around. As was typical, at least from Eddie’s experience so far. Still, he was ninety-nine percent positive he wasn’t going to be able to bluff his way through an interaction like that–he’d been in drama, sure, but that would take an Award-winning performance, and like Robin said, he had dropped out��so better safe than sorry.

Once he’d made it to the front door and pulled on Steve’s Nikes without incident, Eddie snatched the Beemer’s keys off a hook on the hat rack and all but dashed outside into the identikit, manicured lawns of Loch Nora.

–

Settling into the driver’s seat of Steve’s baby was definitely not a position Eddie ever thought he’d find himself in. But, then again, he had ended up in a lot of those this morning.

Steve was a car guy, through and through–it was one of few overlapping interests he and Eddie shared–and he treated that BMW with the same sort of care people usually reserved for their own children. Not that Eddie could fault him for it, since he felt the same damn way about the Warlock, his sweetheart.

Because of that, though, Steve basically didn’t let other people so much as think about driving his car. Robin would have probably been his single exception, if she actually had a license.

In this case, though, extenuating circumstances being what they were, Eddie was just going to have to ask Steve’s forgiveness rather than his permission.

Wracked with nerves, he yanked open the Beemer’s glove box, sending out futile hope into the universe that maybe, just maybe–

"Jackpot! Oh, thank fuck," he swore in relief when his hand closed around the pack of Marlboro Reds shoved towards the back.

He peered inside. The two cigarettes sitting there might as well have been bathed in a heavenly glow.

Eddie rolled down the window, stuck one of those little babies between his lips, and flicked open the lighter he’d found tossed in the cupholder.

"Sorry, Stevie," he apologized to the other boy's reflection in the rearview mirror before taking a long drag.

As he’d said just the night before, thanks to Robin's persistent complaints, he knew with a few small exceptions that Steve had pretty much quit cold turkey.

And even though he made a show otherwise, Eddie was actually trying to cut back himself. What could he say? One too many of Robin's disbelieving 'After everything we've been through, you really want to die from one of those little cancer sticks?!' had gotten to him, too. Dangerously persuasive, that Buckley.

But there weren't any joints in the car, and he hadn’t been kidding when he said that nicotine was a balm in times of high stress. Which, Eddie was pretty sure whatever the fuck was happening to him right now fell justifiably into that category.

Eddie's–Steve's–whoever's knee was bouncing erratically as he started the car, and Eddie honestly felt like he might jump out of his skin at any second.

Better not, he thought wryly, who knows whose skin you'll jump into next.

He peeled out of the Harrington’s driveway with a squeal of tires, a move that earned him a ferocious glare from the old lady pruning flowers across the street.

The agonizing predictability of rich suburbanites never failed to impress Eddie.

Sending her a sarcastic wave and what he hoped was a patent charming Harrington smile, it was only once he had fully turned the corner that he let his fingers all drop, only the middle left standing.

–

When he pulled up in front of the trailer, Uncle Wayne’s truck was already out front, striking out the possibility of Eddie just strolling up and knocking on the front door. For starters, he didn’t want to wake his uncle up on a good day. But, aside from that, there was the whole fact that if his Uncle Wayne was the one who came to answer, Eddie had no idea how he was supposed to even act–not when he looked like this.

That was how he found himself climbing the stairs of the front porch on tip-toe so he could sneak into his own bedroom window.

Steve had done this a couple of times himself–mostly for the novelty of it, Eddie could only assume, since Wayne or him either one were always happy to let Steve inside. There was also the surprise factor to it, when he dropped in on late nights Eddie hadn’t been expecting him, always quick with a reminder that the stealth was a product of his ninja-like reflexes, Munson.

As he shimmied through the window and practically flopped face first onto the floor, Eddie had to admit, even though he was no stranger to climbing into places he wasn’t supposed to, that it looked a hell of a lot smoother when Steve did it. Even when he usually finished it all off with that broad, goofy smile of his.

Standing, he hissed in a sharp breath, hand going immediately to the sudden sting in his side. The feeling wasn’t quite as intense as the pain he’d been feeling since Spring Break every time he so much as twisted slightly out of place, but still, it hurt like a bitch. A reminder that the bats had done a number on Steve, too, as much as he put on a brave face that seemed to say otherwise.

At the thought of Steve, Eddie’s eyes darted anxiously to the bed, well aware that he hadn’t exactly made a quiet entry. If he was, as he hoped, about to come face-to-face with Steve in his body, Eddie didn’t want to startle him even more than their bizarre situation already called for. Especially not before they at least had a chance to talk, sort things through. Steve might not have had his nail bat on hand, but Eddie had no doubt he would come up swinging if he thought he was dealing with a home invader or some sudden new nastiness from the Upside Down.

Making his way further into the room with slow, cautious steps, Eddie peered down at the mattress.

Beneath a cloud of unruly dark hair and twisted up in the sheets, that was unmistakably his body sprawled out fast asleep, chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm with each and every soft snore.

Eddie felt his own–Steve’s–heart rate speed up, that same sense of out-of-body dizziness hitting him like a Mack truck.

Christ, this was fucking trippy.

Hesitantly, Eddie reached out and poked the sleeping body in the side.

“Steve? Hey, Stevie?” Eddie whispered, voice sliding into a bit of a sing-song as he gave his–Steve’s?–shoulder a more insistent shake. “Time to wake up, man. Come on, please tell me that’s you.”

At first, the only response he received was a few disgruntled noises–even words, maybe, though they were too sleep-addled to make any sense. Then, brown eyes Eddie had only ever seen reflected back at him from the mirror blinked sluggishly up at him.

He could see the exact moment the penny dropped, his own face struck suddenly with a bewildered sort of horror.

“Oh my God,” his double started, the words slow and drowsy at first. They became increasingly alert with repetition, however, as he jerked away from Eddie and scrambled backwards, hitting the wall hard. “Oh my God, oh my God?!”

Eddie slapped a hand quickly over his mouth, before he could work himself up into what was clearly going to be a full-bore shout that would wake the entire house.

“Whoa, whoa, hey! Look, man, don’t scream, okay? It’s–it’s me. It’s Eddie.”

Tilting his head forward, Eddie tried to hit what-he-hoped-was-Steve with his most soothing but imploring look, willing him to trust what he was saying enough to calm down.

Knocking away the hand clamped down on his mouth–he really could be strong when he wanted to be–his doppelganger spluttered, “That’s–what the hell is–you're not Eddie! You're…me?!"

Well, that answered that question, at least.

"Steve?" Eddie breathed out a sigh of relief, bracing an arm over his face as his head slumped back for a second, not sure what he would have done otherwise. "Thank fuck, dude, I was worried–I mean, I don't know what I thought, but–"

His rambling was cut off when Steve hooked a leg around his side, flipping Eddie onto his back until he was trapped underneath him. And, oh, right, this was a good time to remember his initial fear–that Steve was dangerous, of the monster hunting variety at least, and the flash in Eddie's borrowed eyes was saying as much.

Of all the ways Eddie had envisioned Steve finally pinning him to the mattress, this was definitely not one of them.

The sudden onslaught of sensations bombarded him. Because it was Eddie's own body pushing him down into the sheets, but now with the confirmation he felt like he could see a trace of Steve peeking out beneath his features. There was a hard steeliness to his expression and the way he clenched his jaw, that was all serious business Steve, exactly the way he’d been every time they’d had to march off into the Upside Down for battle. And besides, it was still his and Steve's bodies pressed together, and Eddie was hardwired in such a way that his heart couldn't help but race a little, even involuntarily, at the prospect.

"Okay, seriously, what kind of weird Vecna shit is this?" Steve demanded.

The glint in his eyes, panicked and wild, was familiar too, and not just because he was currently staring out of Eddie’s own face. It brought Eddie back to that first night, after–after Chrissy, when Steve and the others had all come searching for him, and Eddie, in his frazzled state, had repaid that kindness with a sharp bottle’s edge to the throat. That caged in look Steve had shot him when his back was slammed into the wall–that was the same look he was giving him now.

“G-Getting me back for pulling that broken bottle on you after all,” Eddie managed to stammer out, still winded from where the tackle had knocked the breath out of him, “aren’t ya, big boy?”

The strangeness of the words was enough to send a jolt through Steve, who froze on top of him. His eyebrows drew together, face screwing up in a familiar–and, usually adorable–look of confusion.

“Eds?” Steve asked, voice pitching higher in his agitation.

“Yeah, man,” Eddie nodded frantically, meeting Steve’s eyes dead on, hoping to find some spark of recognition, “I so solemnly vow it and everything. It’s really me.”

Steve visibly softened, the corners of his mouth pinching with concern even as he seemed no less alarmed than before.

“God, Eddie. Sorry,” he gasped, his vice grip on his own yellow sweater loosening as he finally rolled off of Eddie, “sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Eddie reassured him automatically, pushing himself into a sitting position.

And then they just…stared at each other for a long, tense moment. Steve appeared every bit as dumbfounded as Eddie felt, and his mind went careening again as he realized that the glassy, wide-eyed expression peering back at him was probably exactly what he did look like, any and every time he’d been stunned into silence.

“This is crazy, this is fucking crazy,” Steve murmured, one hand flying up to rake through his hair, a dead-giveaway nervous tic. “I mean, like–how the hell do you look like me?”

The words had barely left Steve’s mouth before his lips dropped open in surprise, face stricken as he attempted to run his hand through those infamous locks and his fingers just…kept on going, tangling in the wild mane that was Eddie’s hair. Steve tugged the dark strands out where he could see them, blinking like he had suddenly grown an extra appendage–which, all things considered, Eddie guessed wasn’t too far off the mark.

“Yeah, so, uh,” Eddie rubbed a hand over his neck, ducking his head before shooting Steve a wide, sheepish smile, “…about that…”

After grabbing onto fistfuls of Eddie’s hair with both hands, Steve had jerked his arms out in front of him, the glint of Eddie’s rings dancing even in the lowlight as Steve waved his fingers.

“Eddie…is this–seriously, am I–?”

“In my body? Ding ding ding,” Eddie flicked his finger, quick like he was ringing an imaginary bell, “Got it in one, Harrington.”

Steve blinked at him, for all the world seeming like he was hanging onto his last thread of hope that this was really all just some elaborate prank, that Dustin and the kids were going to jump out any second and exclaim, Gotcha, Harrington! You should have seen the look on your face, totally priceless.

“Don’t believe me?” Eddie jerked a thumb towards the mirror. “See for yourself, man.”

All but catapulting himself off the bed, Steve went rigid the second he caught sight of his reflection, shocked into a frozen sort of stillness.

Eddie, by contrast, ambled along after him at a much more leisurely pace. He’d already seen it, after all, though it stayed totally mind-boggling when he settled with his shoulder brushing up against Steve’s and the image reflected back at them appeared completely reversed.

Turning his head from side-to-side, Steve gently traced a finger over the scar now marring Eddie's cheek. Self-consciousness rippled through Eddie like waves.

“You have got to be shitting me,” he muttered, sounding vaguely faint.

Eddie gave their reflections the Vulcan salute. In the mirror, Steve’s fingers parted accordingly, yet another bonus confirmation that this was, in fact, actually happening.

“Pretty fucking freaky, right?”

Steve’s eyes were still wide, owlish, as he tracked the motion, transparently shaken up. He didn’t even offer Eddie some bitchy quip about doing his “nerd shit” in Steve’s body.

(Then again, maybe Steve had the self-awareness to know how rich that would be, coming from him. After all, Eddie had seen his and Dustin’s secret handshake first hand.)

“That might be the understatement of the year, Munson.” Steve settled one hand on his hip, a stance Eddie automatically thought of as signalling him going into babysitter, let’s-think-this-through mode, and, okay, that really was weird as fuck to see. “I mean, how does something like this even happen?”

“Search me,” Eddie shrugged, falling backwards until he was sitting on the end of his bed again, “I just–fucking woke up like this. I’ll admit, I didn’t think through all that much before I was hauling ass over here to make sure you were, you know…actually you. Plus, I figured…you’re one of the resident Upside Down experts, right? You’ve got a way better shot at knowing what’s going on than I do. Has anything like this ever, I don’t know…happened before?”

“What, you mean like…switching bodies? Uh, yeah, no, I don’t think so, dude.” Steve’s voice wavered into it’s usual no duh tone, except…except it was Eddie’s voice he was using, and, Jesus Christ, this was turning into such a head trip.

Eddie’s knee was jiggling again, up and down, a fresh surge of agitation making his movements jerky. Some part of him, deep down, had been holding on tight to the reassurance that Steve would somehow know what to do. It was becoming clear, however, that Steve was every bit as clueless about what was going on as he was.

Standing, he paced over and threw open the window he’d just come in through even wider. Then, Eddie took out that final cigarette he had shoved into Steve’s pocket for safekeeping, leaned towards the fresh air, and lit up.

“I quit,” Steve grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.

Eddie barked out a strained laugh.

“Congratulations, you started again!” he threw his hands into the air–big, loud, bombastic, the way he always got when he felt cornered.

At Steve’s withering glare, though, he dropped them, shrinking in on himself as he yanked the cigarette apologetically from his mouth.

“Fuck, sorry, dude, that was–shitty of me. I’m just…freaking the fuck out, you know?”

Steve sighed, rubbing a hand over his chin. “Believe me, I know.”

Approaching in several quick steps, he plucked the cigarette from Eddie’s fingers and leaned up against the wall to face him, taking a long drag.

“If I’m back to smoking, I might as well actually get to enjoy it, yeah?”

“I really am sorry, Steve,” Eddie repeated, this time less frazzled and more sheepish, sincere. “If you want, I’ll stop, just say the word. Promise.”

Steve shrugged. “It’s okay. I mean, I get it. This definitely counts as, uh…a high stress situation.”

“You’re goddamn right it does.” Eddie’s lips quirked into a teasing smile, hoping to alleviate a little of the tension in the room. “But, uh…at least no one’s gonna accuse me of being a cult leader this time around, right? Not when I’m wearing your pretty face.”

Steve laughed, shaking his head, which Eddie counted as a victory.

“Sure, yeah. There’s that at least, I guess. Not like we haven’t been through way worse. Whatever this is, I’m pretty sure it’s not some kind of life-or-death, world-ending threat. Although, now that I say that–” his nose crinkled, “I’m not sure if that’s better, or worse.”

“What, that that’s what it takes to register on the Steve Harrington Richter scale of actual problems? That definitely sounds worse to me, man, knowing that’s where we’re at with this kind of shit.”

Though he hummed his agreement, Steve also said, “It’s gotten me this far.”

“Yeah, you got me there.”

Still, Eddie couldn’t help but gnaw at his bottom lip, screwing his eyes shut for a moment, like he could will the situation away if he just couldn’t see it.

“Hey,” Steve reached out, clamping a hand down onto his shoulder and giving it a squeeze. And even though when Eddie glanced up it was his own face staring back at him, Steve’s kindness, caring and comforting, shined out, unmistakable in the warmth of his eyes and the softness of his voice. “We’re okay. We’re gonna be okay, Eddie.”

Eddie sucked in a sharp breath and nodded, sending Steve a tentative, crooked smile in return.

After that, they lapsed into silence, several long moments ticking by as they passed the cigarette back and forth between them. But it was a comfortable one, now, the tense atmosphere in the room having popped.

Steve was right. They had each other, and that’s all they had needed before to get them through problems far more hellish than this.

“Ah, shit,” Steve groaned suddenly, rubbing his fingers over his brow and shooting Eddie an apologetic look, “it’s Sunday.”

“Yeah…” Eddie trailed off slowly, waiting for the revelation to kick in. “Care to share with the class here, Harrington?”

“And I promised the squirts I’d give them a ride to the arcade today.”

“Oh, shit. You could, uh…tell them you're sick?” Eddie offered.

At the moment, he wasn’t entirely sure he was ready to rule out using that excuse to write the entire thing off anyway. Maybe this was all just some kind of fever-induced hallucination from a 24 hour head cold he was currently sleeping off, and he’d wake up tomorrow and get to laugh about how ridiculous it was with Steve when he told him.

“You wanna be the one to break that to Henderson? Cuz, right now, you’re the one who has to do it, what with the whole…voice thing we’ve got going on,” Steve tapped his throat in reminder. “And you know what a pain in the ass that kid can be when he wants to be. Besides, I mean…it’s not like I can’t take them. Technically, there’s not actually anything physically wrong. At least, not in that way.”

Eddie couldn’t exactly argue with that.

“Do you…fuck, man, do you think we should tell them?”

“No. No,” Steve said before the words had even barely left Eddie’s mouth, the corners of his lips turning down into a contemplative frown.

He’d been herding the little hellions around so long, Eddie was pretty sure “no” was his automatic first response to any question posed. So he waited Steve out, to see what he actually had to say.

“I mean, I don’t think so. Not yet, at least. Like we said, it’s not like whatever’s going on seems that serious. Weird, sure, but…not freaky enough to call for backup, or anything. Plus, you know what those kids get like when there’s a problem to solve, and we wouldn’t want to freak them out over nothing. Right?”

Eddie tilted his head back and forth, mulling the question over. “Right, yeah. Makes sense, I think, to keep it under our hats for now.”

Reaching over, he gave Steve’s knee a quick pat.

“Well, come on then, big boy. Looks like we’re both back on babysitting duty.”

Eyes squinting, Steve studied him for a moment, expression calculated. “You know, technically, my face is the only one they’re expecting to see today…”

“Yeah, but it’s your day. Don’t flake out on me now, Harrington. Do I look responsible enough to be a single dad?”

Steve gave Eddie a quick once over, no doubt about to make some wry comment on his newly acquired boy-next-door persona. Evidently, whatever he saw stopped him short instead.

“Come on, dude, seriously? The same jeans I had on yesterday? And did you even try to do my hair?” Steve complained, tugging on a strand of it, lip curling in a look that was only a shade or two away from disgust.

Eddie couldn’t fight back the laugh that burst out of him at the display, feeling a surge of triumph at just how well he knew Steve.

“Now, tell me, Stevie, how did I fucking know that’s what you were gonna say?”

“And yet, you did it anyway.” Steve raised his eyebrows at Eddie, lips pursed in accusation.

“You’ve gotta be joking, no way in hell this is your top priority right now.”

One hand still perched on his hip, Steve made an expansive gesture to encompass the both of them. “Not like there’s much else we can exactly do at the moment, yeah? So, might as well be this as anything.”

Eddie snickered again, shaking his head as he climbed over his bed to get to the dresser. “You’re unbelievable, man.”

Much like his own process getting dressed that morning, Eddie yanked out basically the first t-shirt he came across and handed it over to Steve.

“So, what, you get to dress me, but I didn’t get to dress you?” Steve let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a raspberry, still disgruntled and letting it be known. “How is that fair?”

“Blame your body’s internal clock. It woke me up first, for once.”

Steve glanced at the shirt he was currently wearing–from a Dio concert, black and worn soft, which Eddie had shrugged on right before bed–to the dark Metallica tee currently clutched in his hand and back again, looking like whatever he desperately wanted to say was right on the tip of his tongue.

“Not a word out of you, Harrington,” Eddie warned, tossing a pair of black, ripped jeans directly at his chest. Steve caught them one handed, because, of course he did. “So, yeah, maybe I’ve got a personal style. So what? You’re one to talk.”

Steve held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, I didn’t say anything.”

“Oh, but you were thinking it. I’d recognize the trademark judgmental Harrington stare anywhere, even when it is on my own face.”

Steve huffed, rolling his eyes. “There is no stare.”

“Just keep telling yourself that, Stevie boy.”

When Steve reached up to begin tugging at the collar of Eddie’s shirt, Eddie couldn’t help but ask, “You, uh…need some privacy, man?”

Sure, they were friends, good friends these days, and Eddie could guess based on everything he’d heard about the boys’ locker that, during the years Steve spent as Hawkins High’s number one athlete, he’d been no stranger to stripping down in front of a bunch of other jocks. Still, Eddie was always a little…cautious about changing around other guys. Careful not to let his eyes linger too long, avoiding doing anything that might make a potentially straight dude uncomfortable and get Eddie himself socked for his trouble. Not that he actually thought Steve would react even remotely like that, but…he still didn’t want to run even the smallest risk of souring things between them, not if he could help it.

“I mean,” Steve swept a hand downwards, gesturing to himself–to Eddie, technically, “it’s your body, right? Not like there’s anything you haven’t seen before.”

He had a point there, and Eddie had to admit it had been a bit dipshitted of him to forget. But while Eddie obviously knew what he actually looked like hidden away beneath his clothes, he was smacked with the realization that…Steve didn’t.

Sure, there had been that period after the Spring Break from hell, when Steve had taken to playing nursemaid. He’d gotten more than his fair share of eyefuls then. But Eddie had been mostly bandages and still raw wounds, too recent to tell how they would shape up over the course of the recovery process.

Eddie could answer that question with ease now–not great. Once Steve pulled off his shirt, he would see the scars Eddie had tried so painstakingly to keep covered up since those first few weeks of recovery. See just how much of him hadn't healed, the patches of ugly, gnarled skin that stretched across his stomach and up to his chest.

It made Eddie's stomach flip to imagine. In all likelihood he didn’t have a shot in hell with Steve anyway, but still he really didn't need him to see just how fucked up he still was.

Something about the way he stilled must have given him away, because suddenly Steve’s expression twisted in sympathy, hand dropping away from his collar.

"Hey, don't do that," he chided.

"Do what?" Eddie asked, dodging that knowing gaze as he feigned ignorance.

Before he even fully registered what was happening, Steve had tugged up the hem of the sweater Eddie was currently wearing.

"So, do you think less of me now because of those?" he asked, brown eyes wide and so serious they bordered on stern as he pointed to the faint scars spidering up his sides.

"What?" Eddie spluttered, shaking his head. "Fuck no. Of course not, what kind of dick would I be if I–"

Crossing his arms over his chest, Steve cocked an eyebrow at him, totally unimpressed.

“What, so you think I'm the kind of asshole who would care? That I would look at this–” Jerking up the black fabric of the Dio t-shirt, he gestured down to Eddie’s stomach, "and think about anything except how brave–and stupid, by the way, like…Henderson levels of mind-blowingly stupid–you were?"

"I–"

Any argument Eddie might have had died in his throat. He ducked his head for a moment, feeling somewhat ashamed.

"No, man. No, of course I don't.”

“Good,” Steve said with a nod, his tone brooking no arguments. “Because I’d like to think you know me better than that by now, Munson. Well enough to know that I don’t. I wouldn’t.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do,” Eddie gnawed at his bottom lip. “I know. I know that. It wasn’t about you, dude, I just–"

"Felt weird about it. Believe me, I get it," Steve placed a hand on Eddie's shoulder, forcing him to look at him. "But you don't–I don't know. Have to worry that I'm over here, like…looking at your body and judging you, or something. Sure, you've got scars, I've got them too, but…honestly, you look good, man. You look…really good.”

Steve trailed off, eyes still trained on the patch of Eddie’s exposed stomach, then he cleared his throat abruptly. “From, like, you know–the healing! You get what I mean, yeah? Yeah.”

Eddie’s brow furrowed, feeling mildly confused by his friend’s sudden harried manner. Still, Steve’s words had been enough to buoy him with a renewed sense of assurance, so he agreed easily. “Sure, Steve, I think so.”

Steve clapped him on the shoulder again, seeming relieved. “Great. That’s…great.”

He made quick work of shucking off Eddie’s top, then. When Steve’s eyes dropped down to his chest, he paused for a moment, long enough for a trickle of dread to drip down Eddie’s spine. Sure, he might have said it was fine, but seeing it was a whole other–

“...You’ve got a nipple piercing?”

“Oh,” Eddie let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding, “yeah. Well, I started out with two originally, but obviously not much use for número dos without a second nipple, so.”

Hand trailing down in a way that seemed almost reflexive, Steve brushed curiously against one end of the silver bar, lips parting when he inhaled softly.

Eddie’s grin turned wicked. “I could get your nipples pierced while I’m in here, if you wanted. I know a guy.”

“Haha, very funny,” Steve pointed a warning finger at him. “Don’t you even think about it, Munson.”

“Just saying. Offer’s open, in case you change your mind.”

With a roll of his eyes, Steve hurriedly threw on the Metallica tee and jeans, then started herding Eddie towards the hallway.

“Let’s just get through this, huh?”

Dodging out of his grip, Eddie dipped into a low bow. “After you, my liege.”

With a shake of his head at Eddie’s antics, Steve sighed. “Here goes nothing.”

Then he shouldered his way through the screen door and out onto the porch, the pair of them stepping into the early morning sunlight, ready to greet this seriously strange Sunday together.

Part 3

If you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist, please let me know!

Taglist: @highkingpenny @tinytalkingtina @starryeyedjanai @sidekick-hero @thefreakandthehair

@lingeringmirth @eriquin @bifuriouswaterbender @fuctacles

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #steddie bodyswap au #bodyswap au #my writing #my stuff #my things

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lunatic-pudge · 12 days

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General Medic Headcanons (Requested by poker_face_12)

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Am happy to be putting some TF2 stuff out. It was feeling wrong giving Postal so much attention and not TF2. I'm also thinking about writing some stuff for Duke Nukem. I know there's not really an audience out there but he and Nick from L4D2 have been holding me in a chokehold recently

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SFW:

-My baby boy, Medic, I feel like I don't give him enough attention.

-I promise, he isn't as crazy as you think he is. Maybe. He does care about his teammates, he'll never admit it though. Always trying to make sure they take care of themselves. Sometimes it can feel a bit preachy, but he means well, truly, he does. You just gotta look past his "I'm the doctor and know what's best" attitude. But he tends to neglect listening to his own advice, like the hypocrite he is

-I'm 85% confident he has a jar of lollipops in his lab. He sometimes has to use them as a bribe, and other times as a reward, but they're actually for him cause he has an insatiable sweet tooth. That sweet tooth of his will be the cause of his downfall also. He get rather excited when Pyro bakes, cause homie knows how to make some amazing hard candy and cakes. Pyro has even made Medic a cake for his birthday, and now Py gets special treatment when in for checkups and experiments

-Loves traveling. He's a nerdy German tourist and would clear out a gift shop if given the opportunity. When, he has time, he likes to go out and travel a bit. He's so nerdy when he's out and about, it's adorable. Probably takes Heavy with him as well cause why not

-God, this man would be petty for no reason. Also very good at holding a grudge. Ain't no way this man gonna forget what Scout did to him 3 years, 5 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days ago. He will forever hold that against him. I think Medic is just being a drama queen, but that's just me. It can be hard to make it up to him. The best way is to spoil him in desserts. Only then will he CONSIDER letting the grudge go.

NSFW:

-Medic is one horny merc. Practically ready to have a little bit of fun. He's very good at hiding it, though. It's dangerous, man. Once you sleep with this man, you'll never be the same (the medussy be crazy)

-I also wouldn't out it past him to have some rather intimate moments with each merc. Nothing full on sexual, but it most certainly borders on that line. I blame it on him being fine as fuck. He really is one of the most attractive mercs (they all are but work with me here), and combine that with the German accent, not even someone like Spy could fight the charm Medic has

-Also one kinky motherfucker. This man is willing to try almost anything and everything. Some of his kinks are doctor/patient roleplay, blood, needles, BDSM (huge sadist with a little bit of masochism in him), bodily fluids, thighs (especially think ones in thigh high stockings), high heels, whips, restraints, biting/marking, and sounding to name a few.

-Man's a freak and I love him for it

-He's very much a dom, rarely will he ever be a sub. When he's a sub, he's such a brat. He likes to be so defiant cause he lives for the punishments he'll recieve. He knows the type of games he's playing. Sly bastard

(That's all I got for now. Will post more when I get ideas)

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 headcanons #tf2 x reader #tf2 medic #tf2 medic x reader

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apollothesunrat · 3 months

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I'm back with more PJO/Riordanverse headcanons! Some of these are also just ways I would have done things after seeing then in new perspectives. This'll probably be a long post so I'll put this all under the cut.

Imma start with the headcanons!

Malcolm and Jake were actually dating for a while but only told everyone after Nico and Will both came out.

Adding on to my Genderfluid Percy headcanon from before, Percabeth are both bi so Annabeth doesn't mind.

Mitchell came around during the Sea of Monsters quest and Lacy came at the same time as Drew due their mortal parents living in the same area since they go to the same school

Clovis has actually been at the camp nearly the same amount of time as Annabeth due to his sleep powers hindering his mortal mothers life, she left on the hill.

Thalia and Grover set up small hidden demigod camps for quests since it's common for monsters to destory your supplies. They are able to do this because they travel a lot.

Percy, and Annabeth often invite Will and Nico over so they can help eachother with eachothers Tartarus experiences.

Percy and Annabeth consider Nico a little brother and let him stay over at anypoint once they have their own home.

Every year Percy has three birthday parties. One at camp courtesy of his fellow campers, one at his home with his closest friends, and his family, and one with his cousins where they go out. Often the one from hosted by Sally and Paul is the only one actually on his birthday. The other two often happen the next day.

After Jason's death Leo and Piper decided to start meeting up at least once durung the school year, to check up on eachother. They are sometimes joined by others.

Percy knows how to cook, on the other hand Annabeth is not the best at cooking.

Clarisse and Percy spar together for fun when either of them need a break from everything else in life.

Clarisse often treats Will like a little brother because of how young he was when he became head medic and how many times he healed her despite her rude words at first.

Magnus and Annabeth have meetups almost every month, occasionally Percy and/or Alex will tag along. Annabeth and Percy have yet to tell Camp.

Percy and Annabeth also often meet up with Carter and Sadie for food. They like to check up on the younger kids. Percaveth had yet to tell Camp about these two as well.

When Sally and Paul want a date amnight and Percy and Annabeth aren't available the rest of the seven or Nico and Will are open to babysitting Estelle so the two can still go out. Everyone loves Estelle.

Now for the changed storylines.

I would have had Percy and Annabth stand up for Nico more during the deabte to go save him from the jar as they have know him since he was ten and it just makes sense.

Caleo but platonic. I've seen many points made by others where it shows Caleo isn't the best and honestly it is a bit strange to resolve Leo's arc by giving him a romantic relationship with an immortal much older than him. So instead of having them date, I'd have them bond over them both having bad luck with relationships and give them a sibling relationship.

I would have Drew be mentioned much earlier, give her a big relationship with Silena. She's always with her sister, looking up to her. She was always kinda of a mean girl but she masks her sorrow about Silena with more hate.

Talk about Jason's missing memories more. He never fully got his back, have him ask Reyna about his life, and Thalia about their mother.

I would make Ares just... Less the way Rick made him. He respects girls in his myths, he supports the Amazons. Yet he abuses his daughter? Have him be a supportive father that just hates other demigods cause they think of him as mindless war disrespect his children.

Similarly I would change Hera. Yes, it makes sense for her to dislike Thalia and maybe other big three children because of the myths. But not any other demigods. She, along with being the goddess of marriage and childbirth, is also the goddess of family and women. So many demigods have horrible families, let her support them discreetly by allowing her cabin to be the cabin for unclaimed campers, or perhaps by leading young demigods to Artemis so she can help them get to camp.

More seafam shit. Percy and Triton bonding, Percy meeting his other godly siblings other than Kym, Amphitrite getting to know Percy and acting like a stepmother, etc, etc. I need more of this.

That's all I have for now! I may post an au ideas post soon. I have many aus, some inspired by fics and some are completely made up of my own dumb thoughts.

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chaoticallyfluffy · 4 months

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To celebrate pride month I’m gonna get myself cancelled by saying my sexuality headcanons for DC characters! Most of which I know pretty much nothing about! Please don’t kill me :D

This is a long post and NONE of this is canon. I have very little knowledge on any of these guys these headcanons are based purely on vibes and it’s all for fun so take it with a jar full of salt.

Bruce/Batman:

He would be bi. I have no doubt about it. His Brucie persona would be very open about it, flirting with potential sponsors at galas no matter the gender to convince them to donate more to his charity as well as flirting with the reporters just to spread the rumors that he's a playboy. As Batman he’d be much more quiet about it. He never talks about himself so no one knows anything about him. No one ever realizes he is bi until he reveals his identity and as one of the most prominent openly bisexual celebrities in the world, they realize right away.

He was born a man and understands and supports transgender people but he never thought too hard about it for himself and is very confident in his gender being male. He is comfortable with being feminine at times without it reflecting his gender and sometimes dresses in drag for photoshoots and paparazzi.

Diana/Wonder Woman :

She lived in a society of exclusively women where lesbian was the default. You either liked women, or you liked no one at all. She was the latter for many years until she met Steve and then she felt something strange for the first time. It took her a long time to realize it was love and that she was only attracted to men which is why she never felt anything for the women in her previous home.

When she hears about transgender people she’s a little bit offended by people ‘deciding’ not to be a woman at first but that’s because she misunderstood the concept. After a bit of explaining she not only accepts it, but becomes a huge ally and will defend their rights fiercely. She has never considered she would be anything but female and is incredibly confident in her own gender.

Clark/Superman:

He’d be just a tiny bit bi but he doesn’t know since he never put much thought into it and much prefers women anyway. He gets a bit uncomfortable when people talk about lgbtq+ things since he doesn’t understand it but he supports it anyway and will fly over pride parades with various flags given to him by Bruce.

He knows transgender people exist but doesn’t understand that being trans is an possibility for him specifically. It just never crossed his mind. When asked his pronouns he says “I’m a man :)” and he’s so kind about it and clearly trying so most people just smile and nod and don’t bother explaining that that isn’t an answer.

Barry Allen/Flash:

He definitely experimented in college and wasn’t exactly opposed, but romantically he is only into women and after marrying Iris he had no reason to keep trying new things. He loves his wife and that’s all that matters. When Wally comes out to him as gay he’s very supportive but doesn’t understand much and promptly researches every single lgbtq+ label in existence.

He doesn’t fully understand transgender stuff but he’s trying really hard. Right now he’s too busy memorizing the names and flags of every sexuality. Check back in a few weeks when he realizes theres more to it than that and actually pays attention to things like transgender rights and homophobia. He will be a changed man and a fierce ally, trying hard to shed light on these issues and change the laws to be more inclusive.

Martian manhunter:

Gender and sexuality are human concepts. Biological sex is irrelevant to a shapeshifter so why would he let it limit him? He doesn’t understand why it matters so much to humans but he tries to understand. He knows a lot more about the lgbtq+ community than most people and fights for their rights but still doesn’t care much about his own labels.

He accepts whatever pronouns other use for him. He literally could not care less.

(I just wrote so much stuff and it all got deleted. Pain.)

Hal Jordan/ Green Lantern:

After travelling through space for so long you start to realize that human gender norms are kinda stupid. When you meet enough sexless space blobs who’s pronouns are based on developmental stages or races with thirty seven sexes and only one set of pronouns for all of them, you start to question if “male” is really the only optjon for you. He doesn’t know his gender quite yet but he’s pretty confident he’s not exactly a man. He doesn’t talk about it much except with people he’s very close to. He has noticed that he has a heavy preference towards 'women' no matter the species, as long as they're sentient.

Billy Batson/ Captain Marvel/ Shazam:

I think he’d be biromantic asexual trans man because hes my favourite boy and I say so. Again, do not kill me. He’s canonically dated and had crushes on girls but I feel like the whole ‘sometimes looks like an adult’ thing would really complicate things and he would try to push away any romantic feelings to not let it distract him from his work or cause any problems. It would probably take him a good few years to realize that he also likes guys and even longer to realize he never really felt anything further than romantic about anyone.

He knew he was trans since he knew what gender was. He has never identified as a girl and as soon as he could talk he told his parents he was a boy they were like “alrighty then!” And treated him accordingly. Hair cuts, pronouns, clothing and such. He didn’t even realize it was seen as ‘abnormal’ until his parents died. his uncle refused to call him by the correct pronouns and all his foster homes after that were similarly transphobic. He never faltered though and when he started living on the streets, he threw away all the dresses and bows his previous fosters got him and never looked back.

Batkids lightning round:

Richard Grayson/Nightwing:

Very openly gay while in costume. Still open out of costume but is just the teeniest bit quieter about it (aka when he’s out of costume he can’t yell at villains about being homophobic for hitting a gay man every time he takes a punch)

He’s a man (either trans or cis, i havent decided yet lol) but he isn’t afraid to wear a dress and makeup every once in a while and is very comfortable with his femininity and masculinity.

Jason Todd:

Who cares? He sure doesn’t. He’s dated women and doesn’t think it’s necessary to explore any further.

He’s never explored his gender and is a bit toxicly masculine but he can, will, and has killed people for being transphobic or making a transgender person feel even slightly uncomfortable. Huge ally though he doesn’t talk much about lgbtq+ rights, it’s just so obvious to him that he doesn’t think it needs to be talked about. A fan group online keeps a tally of how many homophobes and transphobes he's sent to the hospital and the number is unbelievably high.

Tim drake:

Unlabelled. He doesn’t have time to think about any of that but he knows he’s probably not straight, especially considering he has dated men, women, and nonbinary folk. It doesn’t really matter much to him.

Same thing for gender, who has the time? He identifies as male because looking too deep when he feels just fine as a guy would be a waste of time to him. If he had a transgender friend suggest it though, he would look a bit deeper and find that he’s either cis or gender apathetic. At that point he'd get bored and stop again lol.

Damian Wayne:

He has other things to worry about. Like eliminating all crime, for example. And polishing his swords. He'll deal with the whole 'romance' thing when he is the appropriate marriage age and will select if he wants to date a girl or a boy then. (He has not yet realized that isn't how it works. He'll realize hes aroace eventually but for now teaching Alfred the cat how to steal from Tim is much more important)

Other misc hero’s:

Zatanna: bi with a preference for women.

John Constantine: (edited this one because it was misunderstood) Bi but that’s none of your business. Won’t go out of his way to hide it but isn’t gonna tell you about it either unless it’s actually relevant.

Kon-el/Conner Kent/ Superboy: Gay. Maybe one day he’ll try dating a woman or something just to see if he’s interested but for now he knows he likes men so he’s sticking to that. They use He/they pronouns.

Wally west/ kid flash: Gay. Thought he was bi for a bit but realized he was just trying to hold on to a tiny bit of normalcy and accepted he would never be ‘normal’. He’s very happy with his boyfriend now! Experimented with different pronouns for a few months but ended up being a cis man. The experience really helped him understand the community better and hes glad he tried it out even in it didnt result in a big self discovery or anything.

And thats it! If you have a different headcanon please tell me in the comments/reblogs/tags/whatever!! I’m super interested to hear them.

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salt-clangen · 2 months

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Honeyclan Culture and Lore

Artistic, uninhibited, and charming.

Another long post that I put too much time into.

Credit to @rippleclan, @bonefall, & @niftysenpai for world building inspired, warriors roles, and camp design inspo.

Lifestyle:

Home of the flower loving, free spirited cats of the clans, Honeyclan is often considered superficial compared to the other clans. While Oakclan and Duskclan are busy bodies who enjoy completing tasks and being productive, Honeyclan cats enjoy a slower pace in life. Ironic given how speed is necessary for their territory, but don’t assume this clan is lazy. Efficient is the best word to describe them, but it may not be obvious because they make it look so easy.

The clan follows a timely patrol schedule, however it’s very community/group based. The deputy will let the clan know what tasks need to be done for the day and may assign tasks as needed, but anything else is on the individual.

So let’s assume Rowanfoot, the deputy, tells Appletail, Mousepelt, and Sunstep that they need to gather moss for the camp keepers and clean the cooking pots before evening meal. The group can then decide how they’d like to divvy up the tasks, maybe Appletail hates getting wet but likes going out of camp so they’d offer to gather moss over washing pots. Perhaps Sunstep also enjoys going out of camp but doesn’t mind washing pottery in the river, so they could ask to join in the moss gathering and then wash pots with Mousepelt whose joints get sore easily with a lot of walking.

Basically it doesn’t matter how it’s done, only that the job is completed on time. The deputy and leader just present the tasks to the clan, accounting for cats individual skill, and as long as it gets done it doesn’t matter who gathered the moss and who washed the pots. This sort of flexibility can be a bit jarring for other clan cats, who are used to a more strict schedule and specific tasks. But it allows the cats plenty of individual freedom to pursue their passions.

Hobbies are big with Honeyclan, while the other clans see side tasks as a way to contribute to either personal or clan progress, these cats see beauty in just creating. It doesn’t matter that Jumppaw isnt good at pottery, sometimes he just wants to make a silly little bowl shaped like a flower. It doesn’t mean that now he has to become the best bowl maker ever or else there’s no point. As long as the cat isn’t wasting resources or breaking things, doing something fun is perfectly harmless.

Due to this open and relaxed atmosphere, Honeyclan is known as the ‘friendly clan’ amongst local loners and kittypets. If you wanna experience clan life for a few moons, no strings attached, by all means come on over. Most drifters who visit either stay permanently or return soon after departing, the abundance of resources and mental enrichment are very tempting. While one could argue that open borders could lead to usurpation and unrest, Honeyclan would disagree. Sure there have been cats that try to start fights or steal, but the clan has great intuition and can easily read when someone is trouble.

When that happens, the once lackadaisical cats shift into formidable warriors. It’s not often that they need to threaten and intimidate, but this clan believes in only making a statement once. So they make it count.

With other clans, Honeyclan is surprisingly unyielding at gatherings, not even bothering to argue back or get upset. Oakclan could demand a larger amount of honey compared to what was offered and Honeyclan would just shrug and say nah. It’s amusing and irritating depending on who you ask.

Romantic courtship is surprisingly lengthy compared to other clans, flings and one offs aren’t common and most cats court with the intent to be long term mates. Hiding a courtship or relationship is very taboo, Honeyclan cats value transparency and romance, so it’s suspicious to hide one away. Even honor siring with other clans is expected to be discussed plainly in front of others and while this may feel too scandalous to some (especially Duskclan) this direct communication is actually quite to many.

This clan is the most open to cat coming or going, there’s no hard feelings for the most part. If you wanna join Duskclan for their clerical duties and structure, they’re happy for you. If the love of your life is in oakclan, it makes sense to be with them. If you honor sired in another clan and now you have the desire to coparent, then may Starclan guide your path.

Food:

Honeyclan’s name sake is pretty obvious, they are the only clan with access to beehives and their products. As such they are most fond of sweet dishes, having the largest population of cats with the sweetness tolerance gene out of the forest. Aside from one or two cats, the entirety of the clan can taste sweet foods.

They indulge in their evening meals and have a particular fondness for glazes and jams on their meats. Most of the food is rabbit or rodent based, there aren’t many birds or bigger game in their fields and they aren’t fond of fish cuisines. Due to the low fat in their diets, they have to supplement through other sources or else they risk severe complications. (Not enough fat in a cats diet can cause vitamin deficiencies, vision issues, slower healing times, heart issues, skin issues, liver disease, blood clotting issues)

The easiest way to add fat in is grubcakes (made famous by @bonefall) or flax seed oil. Since the oil has a lengthy production process the most popular is grubcakes but Honeyclan isn’t afraid to experiment with tallow traded from Oakclan. It’s easy to add a dollop of fat into a pot of soup or the glazes they use. They also will fry grubcakes in shallow bits of oil or fat for some crunch. Because of their culinary experiments and love of all things sweet, this clan is infamous for their dips and sauces.

To make their jams, the artisans will put flower petals into a jar and cover it with boiling water. After it cools they strain it through a basket and boil it over a flame again. Then they add in little bits of honey until it gets to the perfect texture. It’s easy to customize and make different flavor combos based on the time of year. They also make jam with raspberries too. (Technically it’s jelly but i don’t care)

Meal times with Honeyclan are pretty informal, as expected, there’s only one communal meal the majority of the clan attends and it’s in the evening. Usually something filling with a lot of options and an almost buffet style. They split off into small groups around camp, it’s still all together at the same time but it makes it easier to serve this way. It’s common for the keepers to eat in shifts with their friends, then when they’re finished they’ll go around and offer seconds or refills to other groups before returning to the oven and finishing tasks.

Morning and mid day meals are usually grubcakes and a roasted hare with various sauces, however there’s no set time for these meals. A cat could get up whenever and grab their meal when they’d like, the oven will go continuously as preparing for the large evening meal takes most of the day. It’s easy to just fry up some grubcakes or toss some meat on the grill when you’re already at the stove. So cats will wait informally for their serving, doing tasks or chit chatting while they wait.

Eating alone can sometimes be worrisome, but not suspicious. If a cat makes a habit of always eating alone their loved ones maybe concerned and try to ask them about it. Eccentricities are easily accepted here and unless you’re close with the individual in question then you probably won’t confront them about it. Nor would that cat be expected to announce their reasons, most cats will respect their privacy and become used to the habit.

While customization is possible with the jams, meals and meats aren’t. Unless the cleric says so or the cook is your mate, you don’t get to pick and choose what’s served. You’re getting a piece of rabbit or mouse with a grubcake and some tea. That’s it. That’s because of how long the process took make everything takes, there’s no time to adjust for everyone’s specific tastes. If you adamantly hate a dish or refuse to eat a specific prey then you’d better ask the cleric to vouch for you because it’s not getting changed otherwise.

Most cats won’t have a problem with this serving style as kits are told exactly why they have to eat grubcakes with every meal and how hard the keepers work to make balanced meals for the clan. Also the variety of sauces and dips allow for palate adjustments and can even change the texture of certain foods. This way everyone can just eat what makes them happy while still maintaining a balanced diet and not over work the keepers.

Trade and crafts:

So the clans main export is honey, beeswax, herbal infusions, and flowers. With the exceptional amount of honey, Honeyclan can afford to trade and consume their namesake product. There’s a few herbs that grow only in their grasslands, those typically get made into infusions of honey steeped in the herbs until potent and ready for trade.

They also trade beeswax as well, Duskclan uses it for waterproofing their leather products while Oakclan uses it as a polish/seal for their woven products. It’s also popular as ‘skincare’ which is really more of fur care but still, it helps untangle knots, as a lotion for paw pads, and can loosen matts before trimming. Medically, you can make salves with it and the result keeps better than salves made of tallow. It can even be used in food preservation, taking cloths from two legs and coating it with the wax then wrapping your dish with it can help preserve certain meals for travel or upcoming events.

The last products they make and trade are flowers, more specifically for artistic purposes. Sure some of the blooms have medicinal properties, but they’re more popular to be used as paints or dyes. Most of the time they trade the whole flowers for other clans to then make the paints or dyes.

Camp:

Honeyclan’s camp is unusual in that it doesn’t have one official entrance, there’s actually three, all of them between large rocks. It reflects their open ideology and has a practical reason, it allows for easier movement of all the jams and honeys they prepare, rather than going through a narrow entrance several times a day. It does mean that kits need closer supervision than normal, so Elders typically assist the Queens with kitsitting.

The camp is located on the side of a hill, one of the only slopes in the grassy plains of the territory, there are also several large rocks cropping up that allow for better coverage from weather. The coarse grass throughout camp is a mix of poverty oatgrass and deer’s hair sedge, very thick and hardy against the strong ocean winds. Flowers are also common throughout the camp for decorative purposes.

Most of the dens are made up of chokeberry bushes or lowbush blueberries, both of which are fruiting plants they use for jams and paints. The leader’s den is two large rocks creating a small cave, the leader holds clan meetings on top of the rock. The clerics den is actually a tunnel in to the ground that’s partially covered by brush and the den used for contagious cats is between a bush and large rock.

The oven is by one of the entrances and it’s the largest of all the clans, it’s used all throughout the day by the keepers to cook meals for the clan and make jams for trade. Many cats enjoy lounging on the nearby rocks and chatting with the keepers, so it’s considered the most social spot in the camp. It’s surrounded by sand hauled in from the coast to prevent spreading and is cleaned every quarter moon (week).

Roles:

So every clan has a role that’s unique to that specific clan and Honeyclan is no different. Due to their open and unstructured nature solo or duo patrols are normal and not considered dangerous, though they have to be careful going too close to the summer two leg place when the flowers are blooming. The dawn, dusk, midnight, and midday patrols are the only truly scheduled one assigned by the deputy, these are traditional border patrols and can be done by a mix of roles, while hunting or gathering patrols are done informally throughout the day by whoever is asked to complete it.

Honeyclan’s roles include:

Beekeepers- this role is unique to Honeyclan for obvious reasons. It’s a group of about 4-7 cats that are highly trained for AT LEAST 10 moons, most apprentices graduate at 18 moons on average. These cats are the sole care takers of the hives that live behind the carrion place near the summer two leg place, they will go out in groups of 3-4 to clean the hives and extract honey. They carry small torches and use bundled flax and even mushrooms to ‘smoke’ the bees into remaining more docile during handling.

Artisans- just like the other clans these cats make all the pottery, baskets, and twine amongst other supplies. They also make all of the dyes, paints, and raw beeswax. They work with the mediators to assist in trading their goods and camp keepers to process rabbit pelts after butchering. This is a pretty common position, anywhere from, 8-15 cats could hold this position in the clan at once.

Camp keepers- a very busy role, these cats are in charge of feeding the clan, processing prey, and making jams. They are in charge of the oven and are motivated and social cats, think the lead waitress at a mom and pop shop that knows everyone’s order by heart and can run the entire restaurant without breaking a sweat. The clan has about 5-8 cats in this role at a time and work in shifts throughout the day of about 3-4 at once.

Care takers- another popular role in this clan, they care for the flowers and herbs of the clan. Very similar role to other clans, though their attention skews more to plant management than animal management. They also assist the beekeepers with carrying honeycombs back to camp.

Lore keepers- just like with Duskclan, these cats are the story tellers of the clan, they educate newcomers and kits on clan history, and keep track of weather patterns. This role only has a few cats in it, though some elders will participate in the education of kits to fill in the role. Cats in this role are very inventive and are often coming up with new ways to improve clan life, usually emphasizing efficiency and beekeeping.

Queens- kits in this clan are quite the handful so there are several queens in charge of the nursery. They boast intermediate clerical skills when it comes to caring for parents and kits. They teach the kits with help of the historians, set up games for the kits to practice skills they’ll need as adults, take tours to the river and flower field, and learn from the keepers about nutrition. There’s usually 4-6 queens in the clan, sometimes they take on different roles if there’s not many kits to care for.

Code keepers- Honeyclan only has 3 code keepers, much fewer than the other clans. Like the other clans this role is in charge of investigating and subsequently prosecuting cats who break the warrior code or other treaties. Unlike the other clans in Honeyclan these cats have a specific duty that’s unique to the landscape. They stand guard at Watcher’s Point, the large rock located in the center of the flat grassy plains, it’s the perfect vantage spot to watch nearly the entire territory. A single sentry is stationed here whenever a patrol is out at the training fields or in the hives, they watch for wandering two-legs or dogs especially during greenleaf.

Clerics- in Honeyclan the clerics are a bit more…. Casual, yes they heal the clan and interpret signs from Starclan, but they aren’t this isolated, almost lonesome role like you’d expect. This clan is the one that championed for changing the warrior code to allow for clerics to have mates and kits, which was a success though plenty of clerics in the other clans still honor that vow. Clerics in this clan have an ‘open den’ policy when it comes to helping others and interpreting dreams or other signs. Their day to day work ends to be more healing than spiritual, they’re very involved in the daily care of their clan.

Warriors- not super common role, most cats in the clan prefer to specialize in whatever makes them passionate, but being a warrior can allow an individual to engage in different roles so it’s a good role for newcomers or undecided cats.

Leaders and deputies- just like the other clans, leaders work directly in the field with their clan and deputies spend the day taking care of day to day tasks. They work together for larger projects and season changes.

Apprentices- starting at 6 moons and ending after a passing assessment, young cats spend their first 3 moons learning general skills before switching to more specialized training for the rest of their apprenticeship. Switching part way through an apprenticeship isn’t uncommon.

Mediators- this role assists in decision making with other clans and help artisans during trades, they’re often utilized for interpersonal conflicts. There’s usually 4-5 cats in this role.

Alright this took forever and I’m tired so I’ll end it like I did my other lore post, with a pic of a typical Honeyclan cat (in a leather bee suit lol), the clan founder, and the current leader.

#clangen #warrior cats #wc #saltclan #saltclan lore

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 10 months

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AITA for not asking if anyone else wanted something I ruined for everyone else?

I (16m) am kind of the garbage disposal of the family. I eat stuff they don't like. Onions, pickles, olives and so on get tossed on my plate. I was also recently handed a bunch of raisins from my younger sister(13) and her friend's(13multiple) traillmix? They were all eating a little bowl of it then gave me the bowl of raisins. It was weird but I did eat them.

Basically my family and I do not agree on what constitues as gross and/or inediable.

Much like the fact that I am obsessed with Marmite. I could live off the stuff. I eat it more than I should but I can't eat it in front of my family. I typically have to hide in my room. The reason for that is that because they hate it so much the can't keep their comments to themselves on how disgusting it is that I eat it. It's to the point that I'm kind of insecure because even just us seeing it or hearing about it makes them go "Look it's that gross shit you like/how can you even eat that/Nasty/for some reason our son is obsessed with that stuff no idea how he even stomachs it he must be an alien" It's not fun. They are also not joking. They look at me with genuine disgust all over their faces and most of the time I have to buy it myself but my dad will sometimes buy it for me because while he does join in on calling it disgusting he doesn't think it's his buisness what I eat. It's actually recently gotten worse and I feel anxious eating in front of them at all. Which has lead to more comments about me not eating with the family, it's annoying but I'll live. That's not the issue here.

Four days ago I did something that while I will admit it was unsanitary and gross, even in the context that I am the only one who eats this, I did not think was a crime. I had a fresh jar of Marmate that my dad ordered for me and when I was putting it on my toast I got some on the rim of the jar and licked it off before closing the lid so it wouldn't get all over the lid. (It was also extra umph concentrated which was funny). My mother flew off the handle at me and asked why I would do something like that because now no one else can use it and called me selfish. I kind of stopped for a second and admittedly got a little smart and responded with something to the affect of "Now no one can use the stuff that I have to use in secret becauss no one in this house can shut up about how disgusting I am for even considering eating it?" She hesitated but then doubled down and said I needed to be considerate of others in the house who might have wanted to use it. I am beyond lost here so I'm asking Tumblr.

Am I the asshole? Willing to admit I'm the asshole and apologize if I'm deemed in the wrong. But I was honestly under the impression that I would never have to worry about my family wanting this stuff.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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reallyhatethiswebsite · 5 months

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Inspired by this pic made by @infernally_fond

Read on AO3

When the devil asks if you want to play, you’re supposed to say no. It’s a lesson most people learn as children. Some don’t take it to heart. They say yes instead because the devil promises he will give them something they desperately want in return.

Tav says yes because she fancies him.

That’s alright. They aren’t playing a game of life or death, and her soul isn’t on the line; just her dignity, and she never had much of that to begin with. Only an idiot would agree to a game they don’t understand. Tav isn’t stupid (honest!) but Raphael’s easy smile and request for her company – mostly the smile, it’s a dangerous weapon put it away damn you – chased off all her answers that weren’t ‘yes, of course, I’d love to play Lanceboard with you!’ So now she sits in his room at Sharess’ Caress watching him watch her across the table as she bumbles and bullshits her moves, losing pieces and losing her mind, because she knows he knows she has no idea what she’s doing but he hasn’t said a damn word about it.

He chooses a piece. She watches his long, deft fingers carefully position it on the board. Lucky thing. “Your move,” he says, languid. Everything about him is relaxed, even his posture. He’s resting his cheek on his fist, elbow on the table. Awful manners; must’ve been raised in a barn. His dark eyes glint in a way that makes it obvious he’s enjoying her squirming, her buffoonery. His expression is cooking her from the inside: not-quite-placid, could be conceived as bored if not for the subtle smoulder, a quirk of mildly sadistic amusement. If he keeps staring at her like that, she fears she might do something foolish.

She blindly grabs her piece. She doesn’t know which it is; knows it’s hers from the colour and that’s about it. Smacks it onto a square that’s (probably) alright. Nods, leans back in her chair, pretends to be confident with her approach, her strategy. “There. Your turn.”

Raphael blinks lazily at her. At the board. “Inspired. Truly,” he drawls, making his next move. “By madness, but nonetheless.”

Tav purses her lips. She doesn’t miss the way his gaze flickers to them. “What is madness but a denial of reality? That’s what you said before, right?”

His mouth twists with a lopsided, barely-there smirk. He surely doesn’t miss her glances, either. “Indeed I did. And what reality are you denying at this moment, little mouse?”

Knowing how to play this bloody game, she thinks, wishing he’d challenged her to checkers instead. “Letting you win,” she responds. Round peg, square hole – put her piece here, steal the piece she jealously witnessed him fondle, strangle it in her fist for its crime. He chuckles; rich, deep, raspy.

“A daring manoeuvrer, and highly illegal.” Yet he does nothing to rectify her blatant ignorance. (Actually, devil, what’s illegal is that chuckle). He simply makes his next move. “You know, it’s usually customary for one to be aware of the stakes of a game before they play it.”

And this, Tav thinks in resignation, is why he’s let me trample all over the match like a drunken elephant. She never learns. Somewhere, Wyll is shaking his head in disappointment.

“You didn't tell me there were stakes,” she accuses; considers pouting but doubts that would work on this crafty creature. “I thought we were just playing for fun.”

“And we are, my dear friend,” Raphael coos, terribly entertained (bastard). “What’s more fun than the thrill of a daring wager?”

“The security of knowing I’m not going to lose my soul?”

Raphael’s grin stretches; sharpens. “Oh, but I thought you were going to beat me. Where has your confidence gone, all of a sudden?”

He’s wretched. Vile. Despicable. Tav is so attracted to him it’s ludicrous. “I’ll win,” she snaps, “and then maybe I’ll take your soul instead. I’ll put it in a little jar and keep it with my other shiny baubles and all the things Scratch dug up. How’s that for a wager?”

“Riveting. Inexperienced, as far as eternal torment goes, but it’s a start,” the devil praises, pleased when Tav scowls at him. “Though, as delectable as your soul would be, it isn’t quite what I had in mind.”

“What, then?”

“Hmm…” He makes a show of drumming his fingers on the table in thought. Large, lithe, well-groomed; she likes his hands. Often wonders what other kinds of magic they can do. (Look away, Tav! This is serious!) “How about, if I win, you tell me exactly why you agreed to this game. Why you abandoned the safety of your companions and entered my den alone. Why you were so eager to say yes. And don’t think about lying, little mouse. I’ll know if you do.”

Well, shit. Letting him eat her soul didn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore. One does not simply inform a devil that they like him – especially not this devil. He will use that knowledge, that power, for naught but nefarious purposes, manipulating her much more than he already does. The worst part is, Tav knows she’ll enjoy it. You’re well and truly fucked, mate, as Karlach would say.

Stomach in her shoes, Tav plucks up all the courage and stupidity she has left. “And if I win? What do I get?”

“That’s up to you,” Raphael says. He clearly thinks he has the upper hand. He’s right, but damn him anyway.

Fine, then. In for a penny and all that. “If I win, I want a kiss.”

She’s surprised him, she can tell. She’s surprised herself, scarcely believing she actually said that, but it’s out there now, in the open, lingering like a bad stink. She’s basically already given him the answer he wanted, but Tav isn’t under the illusion he didn’t know beforehand. The power, you see, comes from getting her to admit it aloud.

“A…kiss,” he repeats slowly.

“Yes.” She sticks to her guns despite her racing heart, sweaty palms, impending sense of doom. “From you, obviously.”

He considers it for a long moment, statuesque, giving almost nothing away. Tav does her best not to squirm out of her seat, pretends to be as aloof and unaffected as he is, to questionable success. The satisfaction glittering in Raphael’s dark eyes makes her grind her teeth. He’s toying with his food, as he is wont to do. Stretching out this moment until she’s at her most uncomfortable. Pulling her nerves taut. The split second before they break, he responds.

“Acceptable. Shall we continue, then?”

“Let’s.”

Tav expects a massacre. Tries to mentally prepare for him to pull the rug from beneath her feet, decimate her pathetic attempts, and then string her up by her metaphorical toes and bleed her for every embarassing confession and admission she can give while he gorges on her emotional turmoil (and masochistic delight). That isn’t what happens. Instead, she wins – in about as loose as the term can be used, but still.

“My, my!” Raphael exclaims, faking every bit of awe as he beholds the board, the claiming of his king, the crumbling of his miniature marble empire. “It seems my devilish wits weren’t enough to stop the might of the Hero of Baldur’s Gate. I’ve been bested. A villain, defeated. Quite the fitting end for this little tale. Don’t you agree?”

Tav sits in stunned silence. Of course he let her do this. She’s not completely delusional (yet), but the implications for why are taking their sweet time sinking into her holey grey matter.

“Ah, but I suppose the Hero wants what she’s owed,” the devil continues, sweeping his arms in a grand gesture. “Let it never be said that I am not a man of my word. Come then, Tav. Claim your prize.”

For a moment, Tav doesn’t move. In some ways this is worse than if he won. Raphael waits, a smirk teasing its way onto his face. He’s challenging her. Daring her. Come into my lair, said the spider to the fly. She’s already here, and alright, she might be stupid, but she’s not a coward. Her knees only tremble slightly as she stands, makes her way to him.

He gets up, too.

He’s not much taller than her, but Tav feels like she’s approaching a mountain. The coals that have been simmering in her belly all evening catch flame. This close, the smell of him is overwhelming: cherries, smoke, fire. The heat he gives off can’t be anything but Infernal, despite his human guise. Anticipation sets her jaw, her throat dry. It’s impossible to tell what he’s thinking as he slowly, slowly, leans forward, dark eyes fixed on her mouth. His breath is hot as it fans across her face. Tav’s lips part unconsciously, eyelids closing. He’s but a whisper away, the silk of his sinful mouth a phantom against her own…

He kisses her cheek. The left one, high on her cheek bone, and though he’s completely composed, she can hear the brief huff of amusement leave his nose as he pulls away.

“There you are,” he says, jovial, almost business-like as she gapes at him, humiliated, flabbergasted, furious. “One kiss, its nature wholly unspecified, delivered as promised. I always deal fairly.”

This fucker’s trying not to laugh. Tav can see the tell-tale twitch of his lips (lips whose imprint burns on her cheek, entirely not where she wanted thank you very much) and the gleam of delight in his eye. Oh yes, he’s had fun with her today.

“Is something wrong?” He asks her innocently when she does nothing but glare at him.

“No,” she grits out.

“Good,” he purrs, unable to stop the shit-eating grin from spreading across his face. “I’d hate to hear that you’re dissatisfied with your victory. I did my very best to acquiesce. As a little advice for the future, from one thrill-seeker to another: you might try being more specific with the terms of your wagers. After all, what’s that saying you mortals are so fond of? Ah, yes. The devil’s in the details. Keep that in mind for next time, hm? Ta-ta.”

A click of his fingers, a spark of hellish magic, and she’s standing in the middle of their rooms at the Elfsong tavern.

“Arsehole!”

From where he’s lounging on a sofa, Astarion lowers the book he’s reading enough to raise an eyebrow at Tav. “Who’s the arsehole, darling, and what have they done?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Tav mutters. “Where’s Gale? I need to learn how to play lanceboard.”

#baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 raphael #raphael x tav #raphael bg3 #fanfic #cringe

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aihoshiino · 2 months

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chapter 157 thoughts

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 14… IN THIS CHAPTER OF ALL CHAPTERS…????

Aqua Hoshigan Status: White

Congrats to 157 for taking 144's crown as the Oshi no Ko chapter that has vexed and confused me the most. Taken entirely in isolation, it's a sweet, lowkey, calm before the storm moment… but it's entirely because it stands in such stark isolation from the events surrounding it that it feels so baffling. It's like an amped up version of the issues with 156 - when viewed in isolation, you can't strictly say there's anything wrong with it, but as a part of the sequential storytelling of Oshi no Ko it just feels off. I'm reminded of the weird, off-kilter pacing of the Movie Arc, where story beats fell at weird places as if the story was falling out of tempo with itself. Because of that, this chapter review is probably going to be a bit disjointed but tbh besties i am fighting for my life on this one

I will say at the top of things though that it's darkly funny to me that we're fastforwarding through so much of the B-Komachi tour lol. Offscreen no Ko strikes again!

Honestly, this chapter in general kind of defies any attempt at a beat by beat analysis though that does seem to largely be by design. As the chapter title suggests, this is simply some pagetime spent on letting us stew in what a calm, ordinary day looks like for the twins and for what it is, it's sweet and chill. Taken on its own there isn't really a ton to pick apart, other than just pointing at what moments I found cute which was like 90% of them. I want a 5 chapter mini arc of AQRB goofing around at the grocery store and squabbling over the cooking together.

I also really like that Aqua is the one to suggest doing something nice for Miyako and that he joins Ruby in waiting up for her to get home and see it. It feels like a sweet and warm acknowledgement of the subtle shift in their relationship after 155, with the two of them properly stepping into their roles as parent and child.

As nice as this chapter is though, it does kind of feel like too little too late. One of the major complaints across the series (that I do largely agree with) is that Aqua and Ruby's day-to-day dynamic is for the most part underbaked and that the two of them don't really feel like people who grew up in the same household for 16+ years. I think a few more moments like this properly threaded through the manga would have helped but… well, considering OnK's pacing, do I really want to encourage much more downtime…

Moving on from the things I liked, as cute as this chapter was it's also just kind of weird that so much of it feels like the framing device is a recap episode lol. I guess it isn't the worst idea in the world to have one as we're heading into the final stretch of the story but… well, again, see my point above about weird pacing.

It's also just baffling as fuck to see Ruby frame these events in a way that distinctly did not happen lol. Like, sure, she was definitely having fun doing idol stuff for a lot of it but seeing her so warmly gas up stuff like Tokyo Blade when the anime airing right now is reminding us that Aqua was going through the SpongeBob horror hallway the entire time is so jarring - especially when Aqua (and thus, implicitly, the narrative) agrees with her. I mean, fuck, even putting Aqua aside it's WILD to see Ruby framing "Dig Deep" as having been fun for her when her major contribution to the show was manipulative drama stirring for the purposes of chasing clout that she herself said was having an impact on her mental health. I've criticized the story for the ways Ruby's black hoshigan arc amounted to nothing but there's a special kind of infuriating in seeing it specifically call back to that arc and still fail to actually acknowledge any wrongdoing on Ruby's part.

This is part of a much bigger trend in OnK right now of Ruby being super coddled by the narrative and coming off in some really unpleasant ways as a result. I didn't mention it last chapter but something that's been percolating in my brain since after I wrote my review is just how fucking bonkers Ruby's total non-respose to Mem's situation is. "Oh, you're getting stalked by the press? Sucks to be you, thank god I'm Miyako's special little favourite tho 🙏". Not only is this just kind of a shitty response to begin with but it feels insane coming from a person like Ruby who, you know, saw her mother's life blighted and then ended by this kind of treatment. No concern for Mem, tho!

Idk. I don't want to dislike Ruby but man. A lot of the ways Akasaka has been playing favourites with her lately has the effect of Ruby coming off, in universe, like a deeply self centered and callous person in ways I don't think narrative intends or even realizes and thus fails to interrogate in a satisfying way. But that's a rant for another day. And I'm pretty sure you guys already know what today's rant is gonna be. Which is to say, uh…

HEY. AKASAKA. ARE THEY GONNA TALK ABOUT… ANY OF WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MOVIE ARC?? ANYTHING AT ALL????

This is what I meant when I said this chapter utterly fucking bamboozled me. The way the story has contorted itself into knots to avoid letting Aqua and Ruby have a conversation even when they're literally in the same room is already insane, but giving us an entire chapter of them alone together with ample opportunity to have any sort of meaningful discussion as to the gigantic elephant in the room looming over their relationship and……. literally nothing happens???

This is made even more insanity inducing by the fact that this is, as stated above, more or less a recap chapter and not only does Ruby talk about the movie specifically but we even SEE a flashback to the HikAi kiss…. but not the one Ruby jumpscared him with at the end of 143!!!

What the fuck is even going on anymore? Was it retconned? Resolved offscreen?? Did we collectively hallucinate it??? Is Akasaka gaslighting us????

If nothing else, this chapter has proved to me once and for all that whatever goes on with Aqua and Ruby, that resolution is going to come entirely at the speed of plot, as and when Akasaka decides to do it and not when it would be natural and organic for development to occur. This is an issue that has plagued Aqua and Ruby's r/s from the start, where Akasaka simply refuses to let them communicate, seemingly for the purposes of drawing out the drama rather than because of any narrative justification. So I'm giving on predicting what direction their relationship is going in and what the outcome is going to be. The inner machinations of Aka Akasaka's mind are a mystery to me.

To pre-pick some nits before I leave off… I've seen some people calling this a 'Tanabata chapter' and insisting this is intentional/foreshadowing aquruby end/etc and uh… sorry to be that guy but no it's not lol. Even accounting for the differences in calendars that scatters Tanabata celebrations across July and August, August's Tanabata falls on the 10th this year - and even in the anime world, celebrations across Japan took place on the 'official' date of 7/7. And while there is a Tanabata festival being held in Sendai today… that's just in Sendai, which is all the way up in northern Japan, nowhere near Tokyo where the series is set (and which itself had its Tanabata celebrations on the weekends surrounding 7/7 as per usual.)

There's also just the fact that this chapter… has nothing to do with Tanabata? There's no imagery or iconography and it takes place in the middle of December lol. I simply don't think it was intentional at all on Akasaka's part. It's a cute coincidence, sure, but still just a coincidence.

break next week. i love biweekly manga, oshi no ko.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #onk spoilers #chapter reviews

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ghostytoad · 1 year

Note

hey!! if you’re taking requests, i’d like to request the rottmnt boys falling for a fem! reader who’s basically like your stereotypical raph. she loves fighting, loves working out, loud asf, short-tempered, blunt, sarcastic, cursed with resting bitch face, all that jazz. but, once you get to know her, she’s actually really funny and sweet. NEVER afraid to speak her mind, so she may come across as rude or sassy at times, but she never really means to be. DEFINITELY has mild adhd and is on the autism spectrum. 🫶

Hfhdks yippe, my v first request!! tbh the boys can use a little extra chaos in their life so this was really fun to write abt. hopefully it's decent, i'm still v new to writing this kinda stuff!!

* Kiss with a Fist *

ROTTMNT Boys x Fem! Raph-esque reader who is secretly a sweet softie

Summary: The Hamato brothers unexpectedly fall for an intimidating, snappy, but secretly sincere human.

Headcanons for: Raph, Donnie, Leo, & Mikey

Fem! Reader; Romantic; Fluff; Mild violence || Words: 4k

Feel free to send in more requests and prompts!!

Raph:

to be honest, raph was initially intimidated and wary of y/n when they first met

like sure, he's used to his brothers being a bit too curt and impulsive and april can come off as sassy and overbearing but none of that compares to the levels y/n is on

something about how forward she can be really puts the poor turtle on edge

until he starts getting to know her a little better, finding out more about her hobbies and all

after a period of initial surprise, he starts getting used to y/n's presence in the lair

she fits in almost naturally in their family dynamic; she's basically one of them now and he loves having someone around who shares his interests

plus he could always use a workout buddy; not that his brothers aren't good spotters but he could always use a break from their antics

will take y/n to every wrestling event & spend the entire time gushing about his newest wrestling idol and when they're not out and about beating up bad guys or playing video games, he will allow y/n to sit in and spot him while he powers through his rigorous workouts

he enjoys being able to swap workout tips and tricks with y/n; treats every little bit of advice she gives as divine wisdom & he will take it all to heart

he likes to brag to his brothers about how strong y/n is, especially considering that she can keep up with his mutant abilities; everything she does impresses him to no end

opened a jar of pickles without help? amazing

landed on her feet after a pretty high tumbling jump? absolutely incredible

being able to handle his occasional hugs? literally the best thing in the world to him

having y/n around motivates raph to train harder and push himself past his limits

unfortunately, this has led to a few injuries-

"uh oh. y/n ain't gonna be happy to hear about this..."

cue the scolding, the lectures, and the bedrest. y/n's orders. but raph secretly enjoys being doted on by y/n so he won't say no

it didn't take raph too long to realize his feelings for y/n

he'd been picking up on little hints here and there, but he'd talk himself out of that silly train of thought every single time

like when he'd catch her watching him train and could feel that rush of heat burn at his cheeks

'i've just been training too hard and it's way too hot in here'

and when he couldn't get y/n off his mind when she wasn't around?

'i'm just worried about her is all. who knows what kinda trouble her loud mouth might get her in-'

but it was when y/n was comforting raph after a bust mission one particular night that really did him in and confirmed his feelings

It's bad enough when the brothers fail in their latest mission, but to get their butts handed to them by Hypno of all villains? Eesh, talk about major humiliation stink. The loss had them all silently slinking back into their lair, hoping to sleep off the defeat at the hands of their unimpressive foe. Raph was just about to make his way into his room to mop when he spotted Y/N waiting up for them in the lair's living room. It was upon seeing her sitting there with an unreadable, stern expression that a realization hit him. They had plans later.

"Hey, sorry, YN. No Brunch 'n Punch tonight. Raph's a lil' tired..." his low and gruff voice did little to hide the timid air in his tone. "I-I'll make it up to ya though! Promise!"

Despite his stuttered attempt to console Y/N and her anticipated disappointment, his tired expression and wilted posture gave away just how exhausted and downtrodden the towering mutant was. It was more than enough to tell Y/N a few things:

Raph had another rough day.

Raph once again pushed himself and got hurt.

And Raph needed someone to help carry that weight.

Before he could continue his defeated shuffle past Y/N, he felt a sudden tug on the lip of his rugged shell. Not even a second after, he felt his torso being enveloped by the subtle warmth of what could only be a person. Was Y/N hugging him...? Looking down from his stunned silence, he found Y/N with her arms wrapped tightly around his waist, face hidden by the jutting ridges of his plastron. Unable to find the words to break the tense silence surrounding them, Raph simply lets out a low chuckle as his hand gently caresses the back of Y/N's head.

"If this is about me bailing on our plans, Raph gets it. You probably hate m-"

"What am I gonna do with you, Raph...? What am I going to do if you won't take care of yourself..." Y/N's voice was unusually small.

"Say what?" The mutant didn't know what to make of the wavering tone in Y/N's voice. Was she mad? Was she worried? It was unlike Y/N to be this... vulnerable.

After a few more moments of silence, Raphael broke out of his confusion with a realization. Y/N was still holding him. The exhaustion and shame began lifting its shrouding curse off of him as his body eased into the comforting embrace. So warm. So gentle. So caring. Everything about Y/N was perfect, even the parts of her personality that she chose to share only with him. It was then that another, more pressing realization came to his mind.

Damn, does this boy got it bad. He's in love.

Donnie

he's entirely put off by y/n's whole demeanor and keeps his distance at first; like raph on his own can be a headache to deal with, but now there's two of them??

he won't outright avoid her, he just prefers quieter company

he can't exactly say they share many similar interests, but y/n's newfound spot as a member of his little family gives him incentive to at least try finding some common ground to bond over

so when it comes to the more physical and brawn-heavy aspect of his work, he can truly appreciate y/n's constant presence

god knows he can't trust his brothers to be careful or attentive enough to help him in the lab and april isn't always around to enthusiastically offer her assisstance when needed... but y/n just happens to be the perfect solution to his otherwise frustrating problem

dare he say it: "she's reliable and more importantly always happy to lend a hand"

and donnie really values the way y/n is willing to listen to him drone on about his latest projects and mapping out his complex thought process; all with very little complaint (a huge plus for him!)

in fact, she even seems eager to learn and is quick to pick up on the nuances of his work. he can also understand/empathize with y/n's misunderstood demeanor when it comes to her stone faced expression ('or resting bitch face, as she so eloquently put it')

donnie's never been good at expressing himself; he knows how vexing it can be when everyone seems intent on misreading one's emotions based on something as fickle as facial expression

and the more time donnie spends with y/n, the more he's able to observe her and her subtle mannerisms

it's gotten to the point where he can pick up on her subtle cues and accurately read her mood better than anyone else. to his brothers, it's as if y/n and donnie share a telepathic connection with how easily they can communicate with a simple glance

it doesn't take long for him to get used to y/n's more rambunctious and wild behaviors; when he's not busy working, he will sometimes invite her on their less eventful missions and adventures

he won't say it out loud, but he's really come to respect y/n's combat prowess and her ability to hold her own

admires it even... one might even say he lov-

'nope. no. nein. not the l-word...'

donnie's always quick to catch himself before he can finish off that thought but he can't help himself; cute and mean are just his type after all

whether or not he chooses to pursue those feelings though....

well, let's just say y/n really didn't leave him a choice after she practically saved his life during one fairly unexpected encounter

It hadn't been a hard mission. The Hamato brothers had successfully thwarted another run-of-the-mill robbery at the appropriately named Run of the Mill Pizzeria. Relishing in their triumph, the four turtles, joined by their newest companion Y/N, decided to make a night of it and order a few celebratory 'zzas. It was as Donnie was making his way to the booth that he was halted by the stumbling grip of an iebriated yokai yanking him back by his shoulder. The patron's swaying form crumpled forward as they tried supporting their full weight on the hand that was still firmly locked on Donnie's shoulder.

"'Ey you.... I know you..." the strong stench of alcohol burned at the turtle's nostrils as he furrowed his brow in confusion, "Yer the guy from that brawl last night. Ya dropped my drink!"

Ah. Mistaken identity. Before Donnie could correct them, the yokai straightened in a menacing stance, lifting their hand's grip from him and balling into a fist.

"You... YOU! You owe me a new drink AND a new shirt! Ya ruined MY GOOD SHIRT!"

Ever the smug one, Donnie simply shook his head and with condescension dripped from his lazy grin.

"Perhaps laying off on the booze might help to improve your memory. You're clearly looking for a fight and I'm not one to hold back in battle." With a wave of his hand, he feigned a dramatic sigh, "But I'd reconsider what would be one too many bar fights. I mean, you've obviously done your brain enough damage."

What followed was the unmistakable and resounding thud of a body hitting the restaurant walls. The remaining brothers watched amusedly from their booth as the purple-coded brother peeled from the newly dented wall and collapsed onto the floor, dumbfounded and only mildly in pain.

"He'll be fine~" Leo mused as he caught sight of Y/N's horrified expression.

"He was kinda askin' for it..." Raph shrugged, unwilling to stop Y/N who was now stomping a warpath from the booth to the drunken offender.

"HEY, ASSHOLE!" were the only words uttered before Y/N's flurry of furious punches unleashed themselves onto the yokai's face. Donnie watched fondly as Y/N's strike after strike seemed to reduce the belligerent patron to a pathetic and unintelligable mess on the floor.

Something about her pose, the way her bruised fists were held up in triumphant victory as she loomed over the monster's unconscious form, seemed to pull at the deepest, darkest parts of the turtle's heart. Was she always this badass and cool? Was it the lighting? Was it the concussion setting in? Has she always looked this cute?

"Wow... You're incredible....." Donnie muttered under his breath with awe.

So much for science being his only love.

Leo:

honestly? the more chaos, the better

raph is great and all, but he always had the annoying tendency to boss everyone around, and his ever-growing worry chasm was really starting to irk leo

so it's great to have someone around that isn't always on his case about his stunts or lecture him on dull things like responsibility and duty and all

while he does take into account the fact that Y/N is a human, she's a special human with special priviliges in his mind; meaning open invites to every mission (no matter how dangerous) and her own front row seat to every single convoluted plan leo's made

he's always there to actively enable her loud habits, he just lives for the banter and drama; he calls it his very own telenovela

obviously he'd never let her get too far into it and when things start getting a little too real, he will try getting y/n to tone down the snark and deescalate the situation

can't have his new bestie getting herself into trouble after all! and he'd never hear the end of it from his brothers if she ever got hurt bc of his encouragement

as boring as he finds training to be, having y/n around really helps to spice things up. he's always calling dibs on having her for sparring partner duties and won't hold back much

on the rare occasion that he's not getting into trouble and causing mischief with y/n, he'll show her around all the best stargazing spots new york has to offer (via portal ofc)

no reason in particular, it's just nice getting to see the stars past the haze of the city's light pollution and it seems like something friends do

'it's totally normal for friends to stargaze alone together, right?'

yeah, no he's sure of it. he just really happens to enjoy y/n's company without the constant interruption of his brothers' teasing

it's not like he's asked her to go with him on a magic carpet ride or anything

oh wait...

right, there was that one time when they decided to stop by the mystic city antiques shop and try out the dubiously named "magic carpet" the shop was selling. how was he supposed to know it was a flying magic carpet?? magic could literally mean anything!

he didn't complain when y/n would hold onto him as they weaved through the skies of the hidden city. and it was cute watching her face scrunch up with laughter every time he made a joke

but that's just friends being friends, right??

'this better not be what being wrong feels like because it's not a great feeling at all'

"Alright, Leo. This'd better be good for you to be calling me up at 3 in the morning." April's voice hissed through the call, still rough with sleep and irritation as Leo had called her up on a school night of all times.

Leo gripped tightly at the phone as if it were his only line of defense from the terrible, terrible ordeal he was about to confide. "Apes, you gotta help me! I think I might be losing my edge or something."

"Your... what?"

"My edge!" Leo reiterated, panic set in his tone, "My mojo! The Leo-factor! I think I might be losing it and I don't know how to get it back!"

A few moments of soft shuffling sounding from the phone's receiver met Leo's frantic explanation. April must've been slowly forcing herself to sit up from where she'd been sleeping peacefully only minutes ago.

"... don't 've time for this..." was all that could be deciphered between shuffles.

The disgruntled girl could only sigh, "Okay. Leo. What makes you think you've 'lost your mojo'?"

Leo paused in thought, humming low as he tried to recall his recent mojo-related blunders.

"Okay, okay, so! You know how Y/N's been hanging around the lair a lot more lately? It's like every time she's there, I get thrown off my game. And I mean, I really get thrown off! With everything!"

"Mhm?" April deadpanned.

"None of my one-liners seem to land with her and it's because I keep forgetting how to talk mid-sentence! So I end up sounding like some stuttering moron! And I keep running into things and tripping over my own feet when I see her like I'm the clumsiest chump alive. And just the other night I was out testing the sickest tricks on Mikey's new board- don't let him know that by the way- when she shows up outta nowhere with her smug little smile and throws me off my moves! I mean, all I see is her eyes on me and the next thing I know, I've got a mouthful of gravel and concrete. It's like she's sapping all the cool out of me and I need it to stop like yesterday!" Leo had to take a moment to catch his breath as he explained his troubling situation, clearly unaware of just how clueless he was. April could only wait silently for the information to sink in, a sleepy scowl painted on her face. God, she could just strangle the boy if he were here.

"So you're telling me that you called me up in the middle of the night to tell me that you have a crush?" she hissed once again, the gritting of her teeth audible.

"A what? Crush? Oho, no no no no." the mutant scoffed in disbelief, "I'm telling you that Y/N could be a witch or some kind of energy vampire or something and we-"

"Leo, let me ask you something. What's more likely: The fact that Y/N is a mojo-sucking vampire witch or the fact that you may have some feelings for her?"

The thought hadn't really occured to him before. Could it really be something as simple as a crush that's doing him in? He had been feeling a little different as of late... But he just assumed it was all from the mutant witch powers Y/N might've been using on him. He took a few moments to contemplate, a dark blush gradually forming across his face the more he thought of Y/N.

Well, what's not to like about her? She's a certified badass, she's cool, she's never afraid to give it to ya straight. And underneath that tough exterior was an equally cool but much softer version that balanced out Leo's more impulsive and emotional side. Could it really be that Leo had feelings for Y/N?

".... Do you think Donnie can run a few tests to find out what kind of witch she is?"

"I'm hanging up now, Leo."

"NO, WAIT, I-" Dial tone.

Crush it is then. Man, did he hate being wrong.

Mikey:

ever the eternal optimist, mikey is never one to judge people and gives them every benefit of the doubt until he's forced to believe otherwise

so when he first meets y/n, he takes to her standoffish nature like bees on honey

instant besties right off the bat, even if they have their differences

he's quick to introduce y/n to everything mutant turtle life has to offer, whether it be inviting her over for a few rides on the half-pipe or introducing her to the cinematic magic that is jupiter jim and its many sequels

no matter what they do, he's always there to make sure she's having fun

mikey picks up on y/n's kinder side pretty quickly too

being emotionally intuitive and a self-proclaimed therapist, he is able to see through y/n's more abrasive personality and finds her gentler side to be just as exciting and fun, if not incredibly endearing

he'll even encourage her to be more open with that part of herself by insisting she join him in his little Dr. Feelings sessions he regularly holds for his brothers (totally not against their will)

during the whole session, he'll check in on y/n and ask if she has any thoughts on the matter

"what about you, y/n? you've been around us long enough to get a say. am i right or am i totally right?"

he knows he can trust her more blunt and forward nature to lay it down as it is

but he can also trust that she won't say anything to hurt them just for the sake of it

so she's a perfect fit for the role of Nurse Candid/Assisstant Tough Love

funny thing is, Dr. Feelings can't really talk mikey out of making a fool of himself in front of y/n

he tries not to be too clingy or push too many boundaries, but how can he resist?

she's like the highlight of his little adventures and he genuinely enjoys having her around all the time that he just *needs* to understand every part of what makes y/n her

together, they'd make the ultimate power couple!

er... power couple business-wise

purely professional in this unofficial practice

'unless.....'

time for the Love Doctor to pay mikey a little visit

"Candles? Check. Fancy silverware? Check. A deliciously decadent three course meal prepared by your truly? Check." Mikey took a moment to look over his fine work as he finished setting up a "platonic-but-can-be-romantic" dinner for Y/N. He'd been hard at work all week trying to come up with the perfect excuse to invite Y/N to the lair alone. It wasn't a date or anything! Well really, that was the trouble with this whole thing. It had to strike the right balance of friendly and intimate. With a hint of romance drizzled in. And a sprinkle of platonic fun. Gah, what a confusing mix.

Sighing thoughtfully, the young turtle set down the two artistically prepared culinary plates on the now satin-draped dining table that sat in the center of the projection room. Sure, it might've been a bit cliche but the quiet ambiance of the room was the best choice for a romantic candlelit dinner. Plus if the whole romance angle didn't pan out the way Mikey had hoped, a movie marathon would surely break the tension and shift gears into friendly hangout mode. Everything about this night had been planned to a T, down to the fact that his brothers were busy on another patrol that was sure to take all night.

The orange-clad mutant gave the setup another quick once over and, satisfied with his creation, glanced up at the clock that sat above the projector screen.

"7:18 and I still got a few precious moments to spare!"

"Spare for what?" a muffled voice asked from the door.

Oh no. What were they doing here?!

"Hey hey, little brother~ Nice setup you got goin' here. Very élégante~" Leo teased with his mouth full of pizza.

"L-LEO?! I THOUGHT YOU GUYS SAID YOU WERE GONNA BE OUT UNTIL MORNING!"

"Uh, yeah? The patrol was supposed to keep us 'til morning." Leo shrugged nonchalantly as he licked pizza sauce from his fingers,"But as it turns out, Donnie isn't the math wizard he seems to think he is."

"SCOFF! My mathematical genius is not to be held accountable for YOUR poor planning!" From behind Leo, Donnie stormed in with an incredulous look as pizza sauce drenched his face and upper body.

"Look, if anything, MY PLAN did not call for explosives. That was all you, buddy!" The twin retorted, poking at Donnie's sauce-covered chest with his trusty odachi. Mikey could feel his right eye twitching as he watched the two bicker and consequently ruin his plans.

He seethed through gritted teeth, "You guys were supposed to be gone..."

The strained response brought the two brothers' attention back to their youngest sibling, both raising a brow in question.

"Oh yeah, what IS with this setup?" Leo's cocky smirk did little to hide the teasing behind his question. Did he know?

"Oi, guys! We still gotta clea-" Raph stumbled in, wiping his body down with a red soaked towel as he was presumably the most sauced up of the three. "Woah. Whatcha got going on in here, Mikey?"

Great. Just what he needed. As he did his best to keep his composure, all Michael could do was groan and slump down to his knees, withering with embarrassment before his brothers. "If you guys MUST KNOW, I had a very special night planned for me! I was gonna have a nice dinner with Y/N before you came back and messed with m-"

"Woah woah woah, are you telling me that my baby hermano has a date tonight?"

The heat suddenly rushed to Mikey's cheeks, taunting him and exposing his true motives to his brothers of all people. Raph and Leo compounded that humiliation with their slew of 'aww's and coos. Donnie simply gave his little brother an approving nod and thumbs up as the duo's teasing continued.

"I-It's not what it looks like, I swear!"

Oh, it absolutely was.

"It's not that I like her, I just-"

Want her to be mine.

"I just needed to figure out how I feel!"

But he already knew. He was hopelessly in love.

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py-dreamer · 4 days

Text

Yea!!! Can you tell I have favorites lol

so since it's the 20th in my time, it is officially my birthday today!

But I wanted to get this out regardless so kinda count it as the previous day's ig

I will be posting something later today probably but it will most likely just be a compilation of all the cakes I've done thus far.

Ok but um on with the cake!

It's like a cheesecake and I basically copied Tengen's cake with like a jelly filling with fruit suspended in it, peaches (obviously), strawberries and blueberries cause I like them and sod it I'll put them on this goddamn cake!

The thing Wukong's sitting on is one of those peach ice creams that's gotten so popular lately with the sprinkle of pink dust thingy on top.

On either side of the cake is the fillet from the journey and the hat from the brotherhood era, one from his reckless past and one from his redemption and I just think that's neat.

The blue puffy stuff is meant to be his nimbus clouds represented as cotton candy.

I have the baiju jar in there as reference to Wukong becoming immortal again due to the all the wine made from the peaches of immortality at the festival.

The staff as a little candle was so fun! And I like pocky so I chucked them on there to fill space and it looks good so sue me

The grey thing behind the staff and balloon is meant to be the Buddha's hand that trapped him under the mountain and a reference to his imprisonment under 5 phases mountain.

Peach popsicle! Of course I had too! A lil something from the present for our (shadow) peachy friend

Mk's stone as well, had to add his son in there too. The baby ever.

(probably just a cookie but it's the thought that counts)

The two sugar cookies are meant to be his logo (aka the lmk logo) and fireworks, again taken from Tengen's cake.

The sun is a candied/tanghulu esque orange thing. Like an orange slice coated in yellow melted sugar shaped like a sun and the phoenix feather cap since I consider it iconic enough to put in here. I didn't want to put it on him, blocking a lot of the decorations so I just hung it to the side and I think I'm happy with that.

A lot more monkeys here! It was very fun popping them in! I know I only gave Mac 1 but I mean Wukong's the monkey king for a reason. Let him be a loving grandpa and invite his subjects on the cake with him. He granted them immortality by ripping their names out the book of dead, let them have a place on the cake too

Also, yes that is the origami pilgims in the bottom left, I couldn't leave them alone could I?

Now the elephant in the room (or at least in my head), yes I did use @maplesleep's matcha pancake design for flower fruit mountain.

Cake on cake. Bit much but hey, I like cake and pastries better than candy normally so win for me.

And I couldn't just make cake about Sun Wukong without mentioning his home/origins of ffm. I do genuinely love the inginuity and adorableness factor of the pancake design and hope they don't mind me slapping it on my...cheesecake? Jelly cake? Jelly-cheesecake?

(also I have to ask @maplesleep, did you watch the 3rd emirichu anime cafe video, specifically the urusei yatsura cafe as inspiration for the 'sun wukong's strawberry sponge cake punishment' parfait thingy, gorgeously drawn btw I used those drawings as inspiration quite a bit for these cakes, or saw the urusei yatsura collab anime cafe

cause I couldn't help but notice the similarities between that and the 'shinobu's maiden strength parfait' cause if you didn't that be a pretty funny coincidence lol)

So what do you think? You think I could make it as another lmk food chef for lego? Can I join the club lmao?

I do realize in retrospect the disrespect I did Mk by making his cake so plain by comparison to his mentor's. But I think that's a testament to my improvement and attention to detail when making these cakes as the days have progressed!

I consider Mk's in particular to be the most lacking and I lowkey feel so bad for my boi for not giving him the main character status he deserves.

I might draw him again, idk. Not anytime soon though, like I said, I'm quite busy now more than before and I need a break, still glad I could serve y'all another slice of cake though!

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brown-little-robin · 3 months

Note

HI so sorry to barge in here unannounced like this but u seem to have a lot more knowledge about japanese language/culture/social etiquette than i do and i've seen u mention dimple's mannerisms in canon once or twice and like . i'd love to hear more abt that if ur willing to ramble for a bit. i've been Very curious just how far dimple's Rudeness goes, but i know very little about the culture. i'm sure some things he does or says seem fairly normal to me but is considered very rude or disrespectful to the characters. no pressure tho ofc :]

hi Rika!! literally drop in anytime! I,, I appreciate this ask so much and will answer as best as I can, but I'm a very new student of Japanese and Japanese culture, so take what I say with a grain of salt! also I personally am going to tag @russenoire to respectfully invite them to partake in this conversation if they think it would be fun (no pressure of course!). they have been studying this much longer than I have :}

putting my thoughts under a cut because !!! I love to ramble!!! note: all of this is based on Dimple's Japanese voice & mannerisms from the anime. I don't have the manga in Japanese yet 🙏

As a preface: Ekubo's direct/rude/familiar speech style is typical in anime and not unheard-of in real life, but it's definitely worth noticing! Mob Psycho 100, particularly, gets a lot of its unique interest out of taking unrealistic anime expectations and saying "HEY pay attention to this, WHY is this happening, this is immature behavior, why are adults in this universe letting this happen", and making it funny and/or serious. So!!! let's dive in.

So, okay, Dimple's mannerisms. The first thing to know is very general. he usually speaks in the casual register (which has a whole distinct vocabulary from the more polite registers: for instance, he tends to end his sentences with "da" rather than "desu", which are both "is" verbs with the exact same meaning, just a different connotation). the casual register is comparatively... direct. Dimple using casual implies that he thinks of himself as on familiar terms with and/or higher in the social hierarchy than whoever he's speaking to. casual Japanese is par for the course in anime in general, especially for people expressing arrogance, like Ekubo does all the time. But still, that's A Choice. it expresses simultaneous superiority (I am allowed to speak to you in informal terms because I'm above you) and also, possibly, desire for closeness (Ekubo speaks to Shigeo in familiar terms like they're brothers).

(Politeness, respect, and distance are linked in Japanese. Casual language isn't always rude, but in the wrong situation, it can be jarring and disrespectful. Using casual Japanese is a sign of confidence and personal closeness in your relationship with someone—new friends will switch from formal to casual language at some point and typically never go back; siblings use casual language with each other as a matter of course. It's very situational.)

The second thing to know is, there are choices of first person pronouns in Japanese!!! And Ekubo's choice is spectacular. He refers to himself as "ore-sama". "ore" (roughly pronounced "o-ray") is one of two typical Japanese casual male pronouns, ore and boku. (the formal first-person pronoun for men is watashi). To my knowledge, "ore" was originally the only casual male pronoun, and then "boku" entered popular use as a more humble option and changed the meaning of the formerly more neutral-sounding "ore" by competing with it, which is fascinating. but I'm getting distracted. "ore" is the more aggressively masculine pronoun; it's considered rough/direct to the point of being rude in many contexts. And Ekubo doesn't just use "ore" (ore is a widely-used choice!), he adds the honorific -sama to the end. This is extremely macho. SUPER arrogant. It tracks with his desire to become a god: -sama is the honorific for kami as well as the honorific for people who are way higher ranked than you. giving someone the honorific -sama expresses a greater gap between you and them than -san does. this is hilarious to me. Dimple is over here referring to himself as 🔥 ME 👑 every time he uses first-person pronouns. (Mob uses boku, btw.) ore-sama isn't not used irl, but it's, uh. highly highly unusual, from what I can tell. sounds like a biker gang boss kind of thing to me—something someone on the fringes of society would use. no shade to those outside "polite society" from me, btw, I'm just stating the general connotation from a majority cultural perspective.

OH AND SPEAKING OF HONORIFICS. I'm guessing you've seen analysis of this before and/or just Get It from cultural osmosis, but Dimple calls Shigeo "Shige-chan" the second time they meet. -chan is a usually-affectionate diminutive usually given to girls younger than yourself or celebrities people find cute; I think they translate it as "li'l Shige" in the English dub? -chan has cutesy connotations and can be infantilizing if it's not used with permission and/or some kind of... y'know... familiarity and understanding between the person giving the honorific and the person being referred to with -chan. it is super disrespectful of Dimple to call Shigeo Shige-chan having just met him, and having gotten off on a terrible foot with Shigeo, no less. what the heck, Ekubo!!

And then Dimple proceeds to call him just Shigeo with no honorific at all, which is ALSO disrespectful?? given that Dimple doesn't know him, really?? too familiar, too abrupt! As a strange adult, he should be calling him Shigeo-kun! But he's treating Mob like a little brother. (For instance, as the older brother, Shigeo has the right to call Ritsu by the first name and only the first name, whereas Ritsu usually calls Shigeo "Nii-san". To my knowledge, that's not unnatural in Japanese the way it would be in English; it's not Ritsu reiterating their bond every five seconds, it's just the Expected Thing for the younger brother to refer to the older brother as "Nii-san" out of respect. you'll see the Shiratori brothers, Daichi and Kaito, doing the same thing if you pay attention. to each other, they are "Kaito" and "Nii-san". BUT ANYWAY)

Another Dimple regularly does that reads as arrogant/direct to me is sometimes speaking in a Really Low Voice. This is where my knowledge gets hazy—it's more about pronunciation and accent than "behavior" as such, so bear with me, but the general pitch of one's voice is important in Japanese. Girls and women tend to pitch their voices higher than their natural range in Japanese, especially when doing "polite" or "customer service voice". Japanese speaking men often raise their pitches for politeness/to express humility or a conciliatory attitude too, even though it's not as extreme as with women. And men who are performing aggression will often lower their pitch on purpose, creating a growling kind of effect. Dimple does this a lot. Let me see if I can embed a video of him doing it here

YES. OKAY. Listen to the difference between his mental voice and his spoken voice here!! Dimple uses a higher pitch when talking to Mob because he's trying to ingratiate himself with Mob, but then when he's muttering to himself, he reverts back to his evil-spirit, gang-boss, stereotypically-yakuza-sounding kind of... deep growl.

Relatedly, Ekubo rolls his r's. he rolls them hard. That's a really rough way of speaking, definitely not typical in "polite" Japanese. people learning Japanese are told not to roll their r's unless they want to sound like they're yakuza wannabes. (He also, to my ear, tends to kind of roll his vowels?? he puts his voice backwards in his mouth, pronouncing things either near his nose or deep in his throat, and kind of crushes them with his mouth as they emerge. I don't know if there's a word for this, but to my synesthesia it looks like his voice goes spiky. it's a COMPLETELY different sound than the smooth pronunciation of polite Tokyo-style Japanese. I don't actually have a point this is just interesting to me)

That's about all I have for now! I'm fascinated by Dimple's speaking style and what it says about him. Sorry this was more about accent than behavior—as far as behavior goes, I mean, he's weird. he's weird! as a ghost, he's not really a part of society and he just wanders around making fun of people, which would be rude in any culture. I have a whole Other rant about how Dimple improved as a person after Reigen started treating him as an employee and how that adds to MP100's theme of society and connection, but now is not the time. I hope this has been interesting to you!! Thank you for the ask!

#arigatou gozaimasu!#once again thank you very much for the ask. this gave me a great afternoon of leisurely rambling about one of my favorite subjects #CAN YOU TELL I LOVE JAPANESE FIRST-PERSON PRONOUNS. AND ALSO LEARNING JAPANESE #I love hearing about cultural nuances it's SO INTERESTING #btw: Shigeo's Japanese voice is generally blue and smooth #Dimple's Japanese voice changes color more than Shigeo's does and it's SPIKY. it's deep rich reddish-brown when he's Performing Deep Voice #and it gets brighter + more orange which he raises his pitch. sometimes it goes sickeningly green & purple with sarcasm #but you didn't come here for the synesthesia analysis alskdjfslkdjflskd #Robin learns Japanese #mob-blogging #mob meta

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