#which is weird coming from an aro

[yoonyia]

my humanity in a book series now that I actually think about the premise is so weird.

the original concept is just to prove that all of humanity's pain and suffering and joys and gifts can be shown in just a few books, that a lot of our struggles are shared and a lot are unique but that they're all inherently human.

no matter what experience you go through it's going to be a human experience because you are a human, and no matter how isolated and alone or exiled you feel the rest of humanity you are still infact human and take that part of you everywhere

you will always be a step in some direction of humanity no matter what that deed is

it's not meant to be read as comforting, in all honesty most of the characters find the idea of never not being human to be sort of disturbing. But that's a part of the human experience too. To look at humanity and say "man we suck"

But now I'm looking at it and it's more then that

the book is set in the 32nd century

although because of my lack of imagination I can't think of what the language would be like I did haphazardly put together a culture that I personally felt like matched the common trend of development in humanity

everyone is given a livable space, concept of currency really isn't a thing (but that's less on humanity and just because the space colony is made up of roughly 10,000 people and trade is impossible, there's more reasons too but I won't get into them at this moment) and in all honesty the society is fundamentally different then most societies on earth.

It's what you would call a utopia but it's such an obvious system that no body even considers it good. They talk only about the unfairness of the council members and the inhuman layout the colony is built on to make it relatively fair between all people. (I say fair not equal because they do take children, occupation and just size of person into account, which yes is a nightmare for everyone invloved)

but I dont know if you see it but there's a disconnect

they don't value the things we value, they don't have the same desires the same ambitions the same secret indulges, many conflicts are the same as they are now but they have a completely different context, different reactions from people, different tones and no real recognizable side we usually see in modern debates.

it's worse then if it were completely different conflicts, then you could just do some narrative translation and make it based off of the modern lense but you can't do that because it's the same conflict. ofcourse it's not to a point where your brain thinks "I can't compherehend this at all" but actually that makes it worse, because it is compherehensible it just isn't common

it's a story trying to tell you that all human experiences are inherently human but it's showing you a humanity that you can't really quite connect with

things you think are basic desires exist but they're not considered the core things that makes someone human, there's something alien about these people that you can't really agree with the actions they take and can't make sense of the movements and words they make.

800 years is a long time and I wanted to show it but I made a story that's inherently ironic

it still fits the original theme, it might fit it even better since it's telling you no matter how much humanity changes its still going to be humanity

but I left my audience behind, I alienated them to show them that they are human, that despite the alienation they're still apart of this society that they're reading about that dosent feel quite right

it's a weird thing to do

I really thought this book was going to be simple to write but I'm already adding layers and I don't think I'm going to stop

and also the science aspect behind this story excites me so much

I'm no biology major so half the stuff I come up with for the alien planet's are probably going to be impossible but it's fun to write about

espicially the plants, I found the heat regulated Lilly pads to be really fun to think up of

also fox like creatures that glow under uv light, gosh that took so much research

they're adorable by human standards but they are deathly venomous so please don't pet them

this series isn't even the only one in this universe

there's a second story that I suddenly forgot the name of but it's something like 'Colony 1, Brother Lutangalo' or something similar.

oh and if you haven't noticed yes these books are heavily inspired by the enderverse and I just wanted to go more indepth into the parts of the books that was largely left unexplored. So this series is also inspired by the shadow series, so the humanity in a book is more morality, conceptual and personal in nature the col1 brother lutangalo books are more political and more grounded in the main society (the 2 main characters are sent to set up a colony on a different planet so they aren't really on the main colony themselves) the main narrator being lutangalo which is the son of the 108 year old colony leader Lau. (this society also has a euthanization law that all people over the age of 100 by law must die to prevent over population, but religious leaders are protected so they can live pass 100 indefinitely) and is currently 8 when you first meet him. Actually his books don't start until he's 12, we meet him when he's 8 because that's the year the 2 main characters comes back

his books, and I'm calling them his books because this series is heavily centered on the one character rather then the humanity series which is forced to jump between people in different time and space to get the message across because the 2 main characters litterally don't react to anyone else but eachother for the majority of book one, all of book 2 and half of book 3 (at least that's what my planning says but it may change when I get to writing the drafts)

anyways his books are very focused on the family that he's apart of and how they affect the colony, it also focuses on the personal perspective of this one kid which is honestly the closet thing the readers get to a instinctually relatable character, he has all the impulses and needs a person of the current age would have, because he basically lived in the 21st century because of his obsessive need to research about Mr ari who is notoriously a history nerd.

so you're finally getting a person that lives and breathes in the same patterns as you do.

and he's so miserable

he is one of the most troubled, impulsive people you have ever met

but also the calmest and kindest and gentlest person at the same time

he's a horrible liar until he isn't, he's intelligent and self aware until he's shockingly oblivious

just a ball of horrible contradictions that feels way too unstable and flipfloppy to be consistently relatable

yes of course in several moments you will exclaim "ha, he's just like me!" but it's going to be rather hard to admit that all of his experiences and actions are relatable or even compherehensible

unlike the first series it's not justifiable in any rational way

it's messy, it's complicated, it's convoluted and he's honestly awful in some scenes

but thats human too

[transinniter]

not delusional guy voice. guy who i maybe sort of like liked my birthday story Surely this is a good sign . (He has a girlfriend)

[mellosdrawings]

What's that? I finally took the time to make an actual character sheet for my Yuusona?

Yuu

17 years old, 1st year

They/them, probably on the aro/ace spectrum though they never really thought about it (they do get weird when people show interest in them)

Half Japanese half french

Probably has some flavor of AuDHD

Back home: Before they were kidnapped forcefully moved to Twisted Wonderland, they were the main caretaker of four younger siblings while their parents were busy working. One of their main worry now is whether their siblings are doing alright without them. Their deepest wish is to at least be able to phone call their family to reassure them that they are ok.

Personality: They usually prefer to stand to the side and observe rather than talk and engage with others. They tend to be very prudent with their actions, up until their patience runs out. They're actually pretty perceptive and great at reading others, they just keep everything to themself without realizing.

They make up their absence of magic with their fists and wits. People tend to underestimate them due to their size and quiet demeanor, but they can be vicious and ruthless when push comes to shove. They are not very expressive physically.

At school: Yuu has a terrible focus so they struggle a lot, even when the subject interests them. They are very fond of History of Magic but also hates it because learning a whole world's history in a few months only is a nightmare and a half. They also hate flying with a passion since they are scared of heights. If they could choose a club, Yuu would go for photography and/or filming.

At Ramshackle: Yuu cleans the dorm as a past time, it keeps their body moving while they're thinking about what problem they currently have. They hate cooking though, so when the cafeteria isn't accessible they try to cram themselves in whichever dorm will have them to enjoy someone else's cooking. They aren't very time savvy so they and Grim keep leaving late in the mornings.

Relationships (with Housewardens/OB)

Yuu has a soft spot for Riddle. Unless it's some rule they find completely nonsensical they tend to do whatever Riddle asks. Whenever Yuu comes to class with a clean uniform, it's because Riddle was around to correct their appearance.

Yuu and Leona's relationship is peak siblinghood. Once Yuu figures out that Leona won't act on (half of) his threats, it's over for him. He's one of the first Yuu comes to when they have a problem.

Yuu and Azul regularly try to outsmart each other. At first their interest with Azul is very transactional since he can help with everything Crowley can't be bothered to do (ie give Yuu an actual legal presence in this world) but since they have somewhat similar mindsets they end up getting along very well.

Yuu values Kalim's presence a lot. He's one of the rare pure hearted people at school so Yuu doesn't have to be hyper vigilant around him. It's a breath of fresh air. He is a bit too active for Yuu though, so they tire very fast around him.

"It takes one liar to know another" would be Jamil and Yuu's relationship starter. They had weird vibes from each other from the very start but Jamil did end up underestimating Yuu. Yuu is obsessed with Jamil's hair and regularly takes pictures of him.

Yuu is kinda scared of Vil (in a good way). If they were a tad more outgoing they'd be asking Vil to pose for their camera 24/7. Instead they quietly worship him.

If Yuu could, they'd adopt Idia (and Ortho). Yuu tends to miss their siblings all the time so they get a bit emotional around them both.

Yuu loves to observe Malleus. He's some kind of very strange entity that they can't get enough of and they don't understand half of what he talks about which tickles their curiosity a lot.

Yuu treats Grim like their own cat and plushie. They hold him in their arm as much as possible (until Grim gets tired of it and wanders off somewhere else) because it reassures them. They do fight a lot, a bit like siblings, but they also look out for the other all the time. Yuu sometimes agree to cook for Grim despite hating it.

Relationships (the less fun kind):

Since they're in a world they don't know with students who try to kill them every couple months, Yuu is very defensive in how they approach relationships. Everything starts as transactional and about how "useful" someone can be to keep around. They try to keep even the people they don't really get along with close for this reason.

They are actually very emotional (despite not showing it) so their heart takes precedence over their brain eventually. Despite not being particularly proactive they do go out of their way to help the ones they're close to.

[iceman-soup]

masc!reader × divorced!price

Knowing John Price from outside of the military - fuckin hell, knowing him from a toddlers' group of all places. You had both joined at roughly the same time, and being the only dads there rather than mums, you quickly stuck by each other, becoming fast friends since the first session.

Turns out, he'd had a shitty divorce a few years ago, and, well - his sweet baby girl got caught up in all the middle of it. She was a tiny baby at the time, but the legal stuff regarding her in the divorce was messy and Price barely managed to see her at all; and then her mother had been arrested for something or other (he didn't like to talk about it) and he had gained full custody, and arrangements were made for her to stay with his family whilst he was on deployment.

Your story was entirely different. The kid was technically your sister's - but she had died shortly after childbirth, and with no partner and an awful relationship with your parents, the two of you had agreed beforehand that if anything happened, you would become the baby's legal carer. But you'd called the boy yours after only a few months, and that's all you ever introduced him as now. Your son.

The toddler group wasn't great for either you nor Price, to be honest. The kids loved the playtime, which was good - but the parent "teachings" that the leader held were mostly encouraging weird outdated shit that wasn't worth listening to, let alone enforcing. Not to mention the constant repetition of how a single parent is a "bad" parent, which you scoffed at every time. Good thing about it was how you and John could sit at one of your houses after and shit talk it over a coffee.

Was he hot? Sure. Yes. Absolutely. It was the very first thing you noticed about him. But more than that you were genuinely grateful to have a friend; another single dad to lean on, to finally start talking about your sister's death and all the guilt you felt with your son. Someone who would actually get it.

Price started to come around to yours almost every day, even when the toddlers' group was only once a week. He insisted it was nicer than his flat, and the kids had more space to play anyway. You never minded. He took you over to his parents' house, introducing you to them. They were quick to befriend you and your child, mentioning how you should visit John's daughter there when he's on deployment.

Deployment. Forgot about that.

You laugh and nod, thanking them before you leave. You take your son to a play park and sit on a bench, watching him and just thinking. It doesn't take long til you realise you're thinking less about your friend being all captain-y and more about his smile you've come to adore being wiped from his face. About him coming home and there being more scars on his hands and arms than before. 'Cause you fucking counted. Realising he might not come home at all.

You go to his flat the next day, awkward small talk as the kids go off to play. He can tell something's up. He asks if it was his parents. Fucking apologises as if he did something wrong. You sit him down on the sofa, and rest your head on his shoulder.

"Dunno what to do," you start, eyes flickering shut when he combs a comforting hand through your hair. "You're such a great man, John. Dunno what I'd do if you went."

He looks at you for a moment; you can feel his gaze. Tilts your chin up with a calloused finger and brushes his lips against yours. It takes a second or two to process what's happening - and then you're kissing him again, his jacket balled up in your fists as you hold him closer, suddenly realise this is what it was all along. The hot, slightly traumatised dad had tripped you up and you fell fuckin hard.

All too quickly and you're lowering him down against the sofa, and his hands are on your back, and your tongue is prodding impatiently at his lip. Then he opens his mouth and you almost seem to melt into it, a soft groan in his throat, and you're lying on top of him, and his legs are around your waist-

"I'm not complaining," you hum between kisses, "but how is making out gonna help?"

He breaks apart. Looks at you with a sort of dog-like curiosity, mulling over the question for a second. Then his hands snake up to rest in your hair, and he smiles his signature smile. "Don't know. Just thought I wanted to kiss you. Won't fix me goin' on deployment, but-" he glances away, a flush creeping up his neck, "thought... thought you might be somethin' to come back to, y'know?"

You chuckle quietly, pressing your lips to his blush. "You askin' me out, John?" He kisses you tenderly, shuffling to sit up a little, pulling you onto his lap facing him.

"If you'll take me."

And you don't even have to think about it. "'Course I will."

[wszczebrzyszynie]

In your older art (when he was a rabbit breeder named Nikita I think) Mikita seems much more… smiley than he is now. The first time I saw him (I think 2022) I remember him being gay + aro instead of aroace. I adore this character and I would love to know how he changed/developed over the years!

Oh gladly. I adore this topic. Mikita is my oldest one (8 years old now!) and i have quite a lot to say and show about him, so ill put it under the read more. For some reason the picture formatting is completly broken when i do it. Thank you for the kind words

Mikita went through quite a lot name changes now that i think about it, at least compared to my other ocs; it went hand in hand with his ethnicity mostly, as he was i believe polish first, then polish/lithuanian and only since... 2020? belarusian (which i agree is definitely... a pipeline, but theres no deeper meaning behind it; for the 70% of his life the world he lived in was 100% fictional, and at the beginning even fantasy-like). His first actual name (not "rabbit breeder", which was the title used for him in the original story instead of a name. Names were a modern au thing) if im not mistaken was Fryderyk, then Nikita, and then Mikita. That name change did probably happen around 2022 because a Belarusian belarusianized his name for me and I liked it so i changed it. Very nice of them it makes much more sense in the current story

Years 2016-2020-ish he was gay (but not aromantic) and also dating Mikołaj; frankly i do not remember when exactly that changed, but he and Mikołaj are some of my oldest still in use ocs and they were always a package deal of sorts. Last time i drew shipart of them was in 2021. I think it might have stopped around the time i realized i am aromantic? It was a very important moment to me and the second it clicked i realized most of my ocs were secretly aromantic all along too. It was pretty funny now that i think about it

Personality wise he was a bit insufferable. Well he used to age with me (like most of my ocs) so he was very much a 15 year old. Very bratty and unempathetic to others, actively manipulative and overly ambitious. He used to smile a lot yes it was very in character then and i think it makes him look more annoying so it stays. Well either way i made so much art of him in that time i actually canonized it as his younger self in canon, now that hes older. I think thats a fun choice and i still like his old design, so its good to reuse it. Art from 2020, 2021 and 2023. I think current Mika would hate his old self a lot

Frankly when it comes to my ocs the big shift from that more dystopian completly fictional setting to more historically grounded one happened at some point and i dont remember when that was. 2020-2021 ish possibly. Its hard to remember because it did not happen from day to day; i think i abandoned these ocs original story for months before i made that choice? and even then i dont remember how current DNS or such a clear idea for it came to be, especially considering that it changed basically every single character drastically. Its weird to me but i suppose that knowledge is lost. That being said i think it does coincide with the creation of Przemek, who quickly became one of my favourites, so maybe theres that. I dont know. Well either way its a very good thing that it happened

[ckret2]

Weird question, but do you think ford is/was repressed or in denial? Filbrick doesn't seem like a very understanding parent, and I notice throughout all the lavish praise Ford heaps on Bill he stops short of outright saying he has a crush, which I think hints at ford being unaware that he has feelings for Bill because You Only Get That for the Opposite Gender (and assumes a god like bill is way above his league). The "girls will talk to me" quote in particular seems very much like someone trying and failing to fit himself into heteronormative standards and just chalking it up to social awkwardness, and the way he clings to Bill reminds me very much of a first gay relationship, where the fear of being rejected is magnified tenfold by thinking that literally no one else in the world will love you. Sorry, this became a whole essay, I just have so many thoughts about billford and have spent hours combing through gf Tumblr analayzing their relationship.

You're asking me about what I actually think is true so that's the perspective from which I'm starting here.

First, let me say that I think headcanons are like dartboards. There are some "canonest" headcanons—even if they're not confirmed true, they feel like they're at the bullseye at the very center of canon-compatible possibilities, the thing most likely to be true if canon were ever to directly explore it.

And then there are the "this isn't what I think they'd actually do if canon were ever to go there, but based on what we currently know this headcanon is still canon-compatible." These are the headcanons that are on the dartboard but on an outer ring, not a bullseye.

I think the "bullseye" interpretation of Ford's sexuality is that he's aromantic. Possibly ace as well, but this isn't as firm—Ford does talk like he finds the idea of a committed romantic relationship bizarre, but he doesn't talk like he doesn't understand the idea of being attracted to someone, making me think maybe he does feel sexual desire.

And if that's what Ford is, then he didn't say he had a crush on Bill because he didn't. He was obsessed with Bill, he considered Bill the most important person in his life, he respected him and admired him and liked him more than anybody else, he'd rather spend time with him than with anyone else... but, it's a platonic obsession. It's not in any way weaker for being platonic instead of romantic, but it's platonic. Queerplatonic relationship type territory.

He talks about girls talking to him someday because, for lack of any better evidence, he assumes he must be heterosexual because he has no positive proof otherwise, so he figures he probably just hasn't met the right girl, right? And he hasn't met the right girl because he's so unpopular no girls want to talk to him. Once he meets the Right Girl, he assumes he'll Get It then—because that's what a lotta aros (and aces!) think for the longest time before it dawns on them that that's never coming. (It's possible he even has been sexually attracted to women, further obscuring his aromanticism from himself. He did date a siren at one point. But tbh I don't think it's highly likely.)

That's my "bullseye" "canonest" interpretation of Ford's sexuality.

Now, my personal "on the outer ring of the dartboard" headcanon is that Ford's sexuality is, in extremely professional terminology, demiromantic monsterfucker.

He has felt sexual attraction, he is not in denial or repressing his sexual attraction in any way, he's accepted this about himself; however, everything he's been attracted to is, like... Mothra. or Cthulhu. or a weird singing fish-bird, i.e. that siren.

80% of the time he's had sex it's not even motivated by sexual desire but by other platonic motives. If the Hide-Behind ever hit on him, he would eagerly accept just to find out and document what Hide-Behind mating behaviors are like without ever once stopping to think "but am I attracted though?" Like he'll have a fine time, he isn't repulsed, but he's not doing it out of desire.

He does have the potential to fall in love—he has the potential to fall in love with Bill—but again, I headcanon he didn't say he had a crush on Bill because he didn't. It was slowly building over the course of several years. He was like 97% of the way there...

... when Bill revealed his evil plan and started torturing Ford.

So it never quite tipped over.

Thirty years later, Ford's got enough self-insight to realize that even though he wasn't "in love" with Bill, he was 1) very close, and 2) feeling something platonically strong enough that ultimately, that slight difference doesn't really matter.

I can also see him as just not feeling, understanding, or caring about the dividing line between romantic and platonic.

In either version of my headcanons, I don't think Ford was "repressed"/"in denial" about having "gay" feelings. He's got enough issues, I'm not interested in tossing internalized homophobia on top of it—especially when from college onward he's all about celebrating outsiders and weirdness. At most he'd be a case of queer ignorance where he hasn't explored himself enough to figure out what he is.

Tbh I don't think he's any more likely to be attracted to human men than he would be to human women—and if he did fully fall in love with Bill, I don't think Bill, O Wondrous Interdimensional Muse Whose Body Is A Frigging Triangle, would ping Ford as "male" enough for Ford to feel like his own attraction is "gay."

[ohnoitstbskyen]

So I know you headcanon Nami as a lesbian and Luffy as aroaco (both which is heavily agree with!) What are your romance/sexuality headcanons for the other Strawhats?

Hm. I think Zoro is ace, but not aro, but also the only thing he's really in love with is his dream of fulfilling his promise to Kuina, becoming the greatest swordsman in the world. Once he accomplishes that... well, I am not 100% sure he'll survive accomplishing it, actually, I think the story is signaling pretty hard that his moment of transcendence is going to be connected with the moment of his death (the "King of Hell" thing, all the Buddhism imagery, his tendency to find revelations about swordsmanship on the brink of death) but if he does survive it, that's when maybe romance can become a consideration for him. Maybe. That's when he can figure out who he's even into.

Sanji is extremely romantic - hyperromantic, even - but honestly in a way that's... almost totally disconnected from actual romance? He worships women as divine goddesses and sources of extreme aesthetic and emotional joy for him, but he seems to struggle enormously to actually relate to them a lot of the time. He seems more invested in Being A Gentleman Who Loves Women than he does in... actually being in any sort of a realistic relationship with a woman.

Pudding is the closest he comes to forming an actual romantic relationship, and even then, so much of it is ultimately motivated by his romantic fantasy of Being The Prince, of being the noble, self-sacrificing hero who Saves The Girl, of Being A Good Man. Committing to her is, for him, an act of self-sacrifice, for the sake of his crew, for the sake of his family (Zeff and the Baratie, not the Vinsmokes), and for the sake of her more than it is an earnest desire to build a future with a true partner. He's resigning himself to a life of being her perfect domestic husband servant, in worship and adoration of her, but never in partnership.

In an extremely weird way, the vibe I get from Sanji is he's like a... hyperromantic... aromantic? He's EXTREMELY invested in romantic fantasies, but not so much in the actual day-to-day mundanities of romance, he's in love with the idea of being in love, with the experience of being in love, with the thrill and act and performance of being in love, more than he is in love with any actual person?

Partly this comes down to One Piece just not being a romance story - romance is generally sidelined and elided in most situations, and Sanji's romantic obsessions are played for comedy 99% of the time, they are not taken seriously, so he never has an opportunity to really go through the process of romance as a grounded, flesh-and-blood process, but I can only discuss him as he is presented.

Robin, I think, might be the most straightforward of the crew. I am on board with the Frobin agenda, I think she's probably straight and... if not cis, then about as cis as you can be with a power like the Hana Hana no Mi. And I think she genuinely would be very attracted to a loud, dependable eccentric like Franky, as the other half to her quiet dependable eccentric personality. Especially since he is loudly and obviously an extremely decent man with a heart of gold, and Robin carries so much trauma of being a "devil child," I think she probably needs that kind of uncomplicated light of goodness in her life.

Usopp, again, is probably a fairly straightforward sort. The live action gives him a thing for Kaya, but I could see him being bi or pan, but much like Zoro I don't think he's going to quite have the capacity for Romance™ until he fulfils his dream of becoming a great warrior of the sea (he already has, of course, but he needs to internalize it and realize it within himself). I ONE HUNDRED percent believe he might end up taking a Giant for a spouse.

Franky is... okay this makes no sense whatsoever but I feel that he's gay? But also would fall for Robin? ... but in a gay way???

Look I don't know how that works either, it's a vibe it's a brain feeling it's a wibbly wobbly romance gender sort of situation. Franky is clearly in love with the male body, with masculinity, with maleness, and he especially loves building himself into those images of hypermasculinity, but he does in a way that feels hella queer to me. I don't really think you can be a self-made cyborg building his own body without being some flavor of queer-coded, like, I just don't think that that can be a cishet thing anymore.

He would fall for Robin is my point, in part because they share a knack for creating themselves, in part because Robin would appreciate and need him, in part because she would adore his cybernetic self-creation and find it charming and beautiful, and I think he needs someone who will love his creations (including, y'know, his body) as much as he does.

It's like... y'know how Neo and Trinity in the Matrix are clearly, OBVIOUSLY a t4t couple even though they're both technically cis in the text of the story? It's like that with Frobin for me. Yeah, sure, they're both cis and straight, but also they are trans and gay.

Jinbei I have no idea, actually, he could be into absolutely anything. Kind of a gay bear vibe? That's the best I got. Chopper is a child and I don't think he really has any idea yet either, and Brook... look, I don't think you can be THAT level of flamboyant rockstar and not be some flavor of queer. The Soul King wears Elton John outfits half the time. I don't know that he has a sexuality anymore necessarily (he could be ace, what with the having no carnal flesh and all), but if he's not at least bi romantically then nothing about him makes sense.

[10000-paper-nohara-rins]

i think minato is like. actively interested in the team 7 "love triangle." he thinks its cute that obito likes rin (true) and rin likes kakashi (elaborate comphet mixed with envy mixed with allll of her identity issues but in the end she is an aro lesbian she does NOT have romantic feelings towards him) and kakashi likes obito (true but kakashi is not aware of this yet). obito also likes kakashi and is aware of it and MAD about it.

he teases them bout it and also thinks that like. a kiss on the cheek would be peak romance and encourages it. this of course adds fuel to the fire of rin's violent fantasies involving minato getting drawn and quartered by iwa and also kakashi and obito's more normal reaction of seeing him as a father figure. minato waxes poetic about the *drama* of it all to jiriaya who finds it so sweet that he doesnt even try to write it into an icha icha subplot even when minato begs (the man is scared that they will die before they reach any sort of real confession and he needs CLOSURE)

eventually minato and obito (and kushina when shes around) begin plotting to set up the team 7 polycule which seems like the best option for everyone. key word seems. well actually kakashi would also enjoy this but he's got like 37 layers of repression keeping him from admitting it even to himself. rin on the other hand would commit to it if she was asked on account of her need to keep masking at all times but she would hate it so bad tbh she would absolutely commit to terrorism just to avoid romance with them. like i actually think it might be the one thing that could make her snap. that and minato giving her head pats.

pre-kanabi mission obito is continually trying to set cliche fanfic tropes into motion via stealing bedrolls, leading missions into freezing caves, ect. minato actively encourages it. the only thing saving rin from Romance is kakashi's trauma. this of course adds fuel to the fire of her weird jealous pseudo-rivalry with him that she refuses to tell anyone about and just silently stews in. nothing comes of it because obito 'dies' and then rin dies and minato BEGS jiraiya for that short story and he delivers smth sweet and innocent. minato binge-reads it instead of doing important hokage work and then passes it along to kakashi who reads it, has approximately 12 mental breakdowns at once, and then represses all of his memories related to it.

[mariii1]

( ʃƪ˘ﻬ˘)(˘ ε˘ʃƪ) What's your sexuality (like)? 18+ (´ε｀ )♡

..........sooo i need to get out of the pattern of making time based promises, I've lied every damn time 😭😭 We'll see when the next pac will come out since im probably gonna do a lot more choices. Let me know if this resonated!

1. There might be something taboo you're holding back. You might not have delved a lot into your sexuality which isn't inherently bad but there might be a specific part you feel ashamed about. For some you this is about a fetish or your orientation for others its just shame that comes from purity culture/r@pe culture. To get rid of this is different for most, for a lot of you time and gaining more experience in life in general will help you feel more comfotable and for others you may need to take a more active role in getting rid of your conditioning. Y'all might be like me where your into our want to get into fetishgear like latex and maybe want to learn bondage but you may feel isolated in who to talk to and where to go. Getting past these anxious thoughts and actually doing your research is what's gonna help you, you might be procrastinating on this because of your own internal conflict.

2. Lord have mercy...You DO NOT want a romantic relationship or a family 😭😭 its coming through stroonnggly. I think some of y'all could be aro and don't know it. People might've told you you're cold hearted or weird for not wanting to date. For some this is toxic because you don't communicate that you don't want romance to people, which ya needa start if you don't. Yeah some of you in this group might have problems being honest either with yourself or other people. There may be pressure to fit in when there's no real harm if you don't, in this case at least. A lot of you don't believe in traditional relationships or just have no desire for romance. A lot of you are planning to be childless when you're older and if you're thinking about getting sterilized, it might be something to start thinking about seriously.

3. Oooohhh someone KNOWS fr what they want. You have this huge boundary and expectations of what you want and this couod for anything: hooking up, sex with a partner, casual dating, etc. Because of this though you might not have been in a relationship for a very long time. You're very headstrong about this and want a fair and equal relationship. I'm specifically getting a lot of femmes in this pile who are fed up with cis men. I don't have any other comments for you, you seem set in this mindset and if its working for you, great! 👍🏽

4. Me 😜 JK tbh i might be your type for some of y'all the same way I think Che Guevara is finee😩 I'm also getting hopeless romantic from this pile but ive never seen that stereotype as something positive and I feel like in this case you guys pine after people a lot but don't try to make any moves. I feel like you could have multiple crushes currently ir multiple ppl u got ur eye on but you haven't even said hi or anything to them yet. As a fellow introvert and someone who's just starting to try to make friends I get it, but it's time to get out of this mindset and just make the first move even if ppl don't like you or they don't turn out as great as you thought.

Rainbow divider @enchanthings

[tommyssupercoolblog]

okay so let me check my notes umm... according to fakclaimers:

systems can only be kids because it only develops then, but also can only be adults over 20 or so because otherwise you're making it up for tiktok OR wouldn't possibly know yet, and you have to be diagnosed with DID/OSDD but you also have to be truamagenic or the diagnosis doesn't count even if it comes from a doctor, and if you're truamagenic but self diagnosed then you're lying or confused. if you're truamagenic AND diagnosed then you're a freak and dangerous to the public OR you have to live in secret or else you must be lying. you can't be plural on purpose through thoguhtform because then you're making yourself disabled and that's fetishizing but you also can't be plural against your will UNLESS you met the previous critera otherwise that wouldn't happen to you. and you can't call yourself a t-pla ever even though the controvery is around cultural appropriation and a stranger has no clue over the internet if you have the right to reclaim, which you VERY WELL MIGHT. but if you call yourself a thoughform you're cringe and too woke. if you're endogenic you can't call yourself a system but you also can't call yourself plural or a collective or anything else. If you're mixed-orgin you're just a confused truamagenic or a lying endogenic.

You also can't have introjects because that's cringe and cringe means you're lying but you also can't have original alters because then you're just roleplaying as OCs. as an introject you can't hate your source or be neutral because then why would you introject?? but you can't love them or else you're just a crazy fan pretending to be them. as an original alter you can't be TOO different from the original or that's just something out of a movie but you can't be alike because then you're not really an alter.

You can't have only nice alters who get along together because then you're faking and if you have alter conflict then you need to be locked up because you're probably a serial killer. and you have to only have split when you were little and can't split ever again even though that's something that happens all the time even past people's 20s, and you can't have any other disorder or you're just wrong about being plural, and you can't hate being plural because then you're attention seeking and clearly must be pretending to have a disorder for pity, and you can't love being plural because you're not allowed to love having a disorder or disability, and you can't be neutral about it because why the fuck wouldn't you have a big reaction to being so weird?? you're weird. so you must be lying about being weird because everyone else finds this shocking and disturbing or fascinating and surely so would you.

and you can't not date because then you're missing out (even if ur aro, ace, or aroace mostly) and you can't date because then you're abusing your partner and lying to them by being multiple people since you're clearly just one OR you're making them date strangers which is also bad, and you can't date another system because you can't know other systems personally or else you're all fakers, and you can't date in-headspace because that's too weird to be true. you can't all be striaght because that's unrealistic so you're faking but if your alters all have different sexualities that's a sure sign you're faking and just making up OCs and if you're all gay then you're ALSO faking and just trying to be Jefferson Miku Binder Woke and are a cringe SJW. You can't all be the same gender but you can't be different genders either and you can't have individual labels but if you id as genderfluid or pluralgender or something collective that's cringe and clearly a sign you're just a dumb lying teenager begging for attention.

you can't have a consistent host but also you can't have anyone other than the "original" front for too long. you can't be able to control switches but you also need to be able to "prove it" by switching in front of other people. you can't have different mannerisms or handwriting because that's overdone and dramatic and clearly just theatre and you can't have the same mannerisms or handwriting becase then you're clearly just lying. You can't think of yourself as one person because that's confusing, but you can't think of yourself as multiple people, because you share a body so CLEARLY you must be one singular person!!!!! If you use i/me pronouns you're faking and just forgetting to act plural as a plothole in ur lies and if you use we/us you're also faking and clearly only know about systems through tiktok. if you go by your infividual names you're being confusing and a hasstle and a bitch, but if you use a collective name or go by the og/host's name you're lying and a catfish abuser. if you get final fusion you're not plural anymore and don't get to talk about it. if you don't get final fusion you're a faker.

you can't literally be seperate because that makes no sense, you can't have more than one consciousness in one mind!! but you can't just be one person separated by memory walls with the EFFECT being "as if" you were actually seperate because then you're not really plural.

you can't act or dress normal because "we'd be able to tell" but you can't be visibly weird or plural because then you're fake, cringe, or both. you can't roleplay or cosplay because that means your plurality is cosplay too, but you can't avoid roleplaying and cosplaying because then you're crazy for identifying as another person than the og but not being able to dress up as a different person (and/or your source if ur an introject).

did i get it all?? no, probably, because there's way more rules and contradictions than even these, huh?? there's an infinite list of rules and ideas but really they're all just set dressing. all the conflicts just end up resulting in one, big rule. but they don't say the big rule because a long list like that, if it's spread out and not put in one post like this, doesn't look as mean. so it's easier to swallow it one bit at a time, to rule out one way of life after another, then to say it outright.

when every possible way to be is ruled out, you get the real rule, which is:

"If you're plural or a system, you can't exist."

there is no acceptable way to be plural. the only "correct" way to be plural is to be erased entirely.

[freesia-writes]

Ch 12: The Festival

~ Master List ~ Previous Chapter ~ WC: 3.2k ~ Featuring fanart by @ve-ti-ver!!

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“Your turn, Silver!” Luciana yelled over the music, holding a hand out to Crosshair after just having released Wrecker. The Town Square was packed with people from the entire planet, all enjoying the highly-anticipated lunar festival. Hundreds of tables and tents had been erected for a great variety of foods, activities, and wares, and huge screens and stages had been set up around Square as well as across the beach, allowing the party to continue beneath buildings and the palm trees alike. 

“Not a chance,” Crosshair said, folding his arms across his chest and not moving from his lean against the stone wall beside him. 

“Come on, you have to!”

“I do not.”

“Yeah you do!” Wrecker hollered, pushing his brother forcefully toward Luci, who dragged him out into the throngs of people dancing in front of one of the makeshift stages. She whirled around in front of him, grabbing his hands and placing them on her hips as she swayed with the music. Hunter elbowed Echo and tipped his head in their direction, both sharing a hearty laugh at the sight of an insanely-stiff Crosshair almost refusing to move as she danced against him, but there was the tiniest flicker of amusement on his staunchly grumpy face. 

“He deserves it,” Wrecker insisted, picking up his tray of food. “Aww man! Now my wraps are cold!” 

“Looks like he’s paying for it now,” Echo remarked, laughing again at Crosshair’s expression of shock as Luciana turned to face him, staggering her legs between his and slithering down to the ground and back up again. 

“She looks like a snake on a tree,” Hunter chuckled. “Can’t say I’m surprised though.” 

“If I were the betting type, which I am decidedly not,” Tech chipped in from his seat beside Phee, “I would estimate that it would take a longstanding relationship that included a great deal of depth and trust to convince Crosshair to dance without the need to portray a sour and unwilling front.”

“Well, don’t hold your breath,” Echo said.

“I wasn’t planning to,” Tech answered. 

They chatted and ate, tucked into a large table that was squeezed into one of the many nooks and crannies of the Town Square. The space had been totally transformed: it was filled with colorful tents, string lights, and sparkling mirror balls, and they’d had some time to explore the fantastic variety of goods from other islands on the planet. Omega had enthusiastically perused row after row, first with Hunter and then with her friends from the school, who she was apparently back on good terms with. So Hunter had returned to his brothers and Phee, who together had procured an impressive assortment of plates and trays from the food carts. 

“Well get a load of this,” Phee said, the rest following her gaze back to Crosshair, who now had not one but two girls grinding on him from both the front and the back. 

“Women have such weird taste,” Echo commented, and they all had to stifle their laughter to quickly look back at their plates and each other when Crosshair’s sharp eyes flickered in their direction. A few minutes later, he’d extricated himself from the situation, walking stiffly to the table with his hands clasped over his crotch. He sat down wordlessly, crossing his legs and shifting uncomfortably before pulling his jacket off and settling it in his lap.

“Can’t enjoy it too much, can you?” Phee jabbed, sliding a cup of the tropical drink they were sharing in his direction. Luciana was now dancing with the other girl and had been joined by a few others that seemed to know her, all bouncing around in a jubilant cluster. Hunter scanned the square, squinting against the strobing lights that reflected off of the mirrored balls that hung across ropes from rooftop to rooftop. 

“I have not yet seen Lyra, if she is the object of your search,” Tech informed him, and Hunter quickly rearranged the deer-in-the-headlights look that had popped onto his face. 

“I’m just looking around,” he said, forcing nonchalance into his voice. Tech leaned closer, his arm pressing against Hunter’s for a second from the close proximity of their chairs, and he pulled it away upon noticing. 

“It is not a shameful thing to feel attraction to another,” Tech said earnestly. “It is quite natural, especially for individuals like us who have spent most of our lives so far with little to no individual autonomy. There are entire realms of the human experience we are now able to explore… if we wish… that can be quite enjoyable.”

Hunter stared at him, wondering how they’d gotten to the point where Tech was teaching him about relationships and the human experience, and opened his mouth for some kind of retort. But he was cut off by Luciana’s return, bouncing over to their table with an exhilarated flush on her cheeks.

“Isn’t this great?!” she squeaked, simply beaming as she looked around before reaching out to Hunter. “Your turn, babe! Let’s go!”

“You already did me,” he complained, unmoving in his seat.

“Mmm, you wish,” she quipped, fixing him with a mock pouty stare. She had already danced with him, coaxing him into an awkward little shuffle of his own while she’d swayed against him and made him feel things that had been a distant memory since his “shiny” days. “Alright, fine. Looks like it’s up to you, Sparky.” She sidestepped over to Tech, massaging his shoulders for a second before he sat forward quickly. 

“I would rather not,” he said, almost choking over his words in the shock of being touched so forwardly.

“That’s what they all say… at first,” she winked. 

“Keep moving, honey,” Phee said, with just enough volume and edge to catch the attention of everyone at the table. Luci looked at her, each woman smiling pleasantly while a whole assessment took place under the surface. Phee lifted her chin slightly, reaching over with one hand to place it gently on top of Tech’s where it rested on the arm of his chair beside her. Her confidence was tangible as she gazed calmly at Luciana, who tapped the side of her nose, pointed at Phee, and gave her a little salute before scampering back to her group of friends.

“Was that part of the human experience I’m missing out on?” Hunter asked quietly, leaning back in his seat with a smug grin as Tech gave him a sidelong glare. 

Eventually, the music transitioned into raucous applause as the current performers finished their set and cleared off the stage. The screens went blank from the colorful display they’d been set on, then slowly loaded some camera views of the stage as the crowd quieted. The sound of drums began, growing louder as a procession of native Xyloans made their way up the street, the people parting before them. Their regal manes had been braided intricately, and their traditional tunics had been replaced with colorfully-painted regalia. They held drums and staffs, walking in a stately line composed of a handful of elders and a few younger males. Taking their places on the stage, a hush fell over the crowd as the chief slowly raised a hand. 

“We honor the island!” he said loudly, his sybillant accent accentuating his Galactic Basic.

“We honor the island,” the others repeated, tapping their staffs once. 

“The sacred will endures,” he announced, pausing for the others to echo. “We offer gratitude for its protection. None come who are not deemed so, and we rest in its wisdom, throughout the changing of the tides and the passing of the generations!”

“Their perception of the island as a sentient being worthy of respect and cooperation is admirable,” Tech commented, returning his gaze to the stage as Hunter nodded in agreement.

The elders continued, each rising to share a part of the story of the island, which had been around longer than any could remember. They insisted that the island protected itself through ancient magic and some other forces that were beyond understanding. Continuing to the story of The Alignment, they explained that it was a phenomenon that happened every couple hundred years, when the moons and planets of the system would line up in a particular way, bringing to life the old magic for some kind of new enlightenment that would be shared with a chosen few to benefit the people as a whole. The Xyloans’ time ended with a ritualistic chant, honoring each of the planets and moons in the system and inviting the island to share its secrets freely, and they ended with a kneeling prayer of gratitude. 

“That was beautiful,” Phee said in awe, watching their stately departure so closely that she didn’t notice Tech’s affectionate gaze fixed on the side of her face. 

“Indeed,” he murmured quietly.

An announcer’s voice drowned out the hubbub as he informed everyone of the rest of the evening’s events: more music, dancing, and debauchery would be followed by the lighting of the lanterns as the night turned into the next day, and they would be sent up toward the moons with everyone’s wishes for the next year. The music returned at full volume, string lights dancing in the breeze, and Hunter rose to his feet, rubbing his head at the throbbing of the bass that reverberated throughout his skull. 

“I’m gonna grab a snack and head home,” he said, nodding to the others. 

“But you’re gonna miss the best part!” Wrecker exclaimed.

“How do you know it’s the best part? You’ve never been to one of these,” Crosshair drawled, pointing a toothpick in his brother’s direction now that he had “relaxed” enough to uncross his legs. 

“It’s gonna be awesome,” Wrecker insisted, unfazed. 

“We’ll catch you later,” Phee said, giving Hunter a nod and a smile. He returned it, grateful for the indirect permission that quieted any other complaints or jabs that might be thrown his way, and pulled on his jacket, slinging his bag over his back before heading toward the rows of food stands. He was assailed by rich scents and sounds – sizzling meats, chopping and scraping, yelling in various languages, and more spices than he’d ever seen in one place. His shoulders were slumped in slight dejection as he wandered, squinting at each of the picture menus and feeling overwhelmed with the decision of what to eat. 

“Hunter!” a familiar voice called, and he perked up quickly, turning to see Lyra waving at him from the end of one of the many long lines. She beckoned for him to join, and he did, smiling warmly as he drew near. 

“I was looking for you,” he said, hesitating awkwardly at his own words. “I mean… We all… Anyway, how’s your night?” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many people here,” she said, leaning in to be heard over the cacophony. “This is the food from Plata I was telling you about! They’re these amazing plates with little triangles of pita bread and the most delicious mix of meat, veggies, and sauce. Did you eat already?”

“I picked on some stuff here and there. But I was getting ready to head home.”

“Oh,” she said, quickly recovering from a subtle flash of disappointment. “I get it – I can bring you a plate tomorrow, if you don’t mind leftovers?”

“No, it’s alright,” he reassured, glancing up at the menu. “We’ve just been here for a while, and it’s… a lot.”

“I get it. Well, if you do want to eat, I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve to make it all a bit more bearable, if you’d like to stick around. But no worries if bed sounds better!”

“Let’s see what you’ve got.”

Ten minutes later, they found themselves at a small table for two that was neatly tucked into a narrow alleyway between two stone apartment buildings that blocked out a great deal of the sound from all directions. There were a few other tables along the edge, filled with fellow introverts, quiet-seekers, and lovers looking for a more intimate setting. Hunter’s stomach tightened as he noticed the couple behind Lyra begin to make out, languorously caressing each other as their open-mouthed kisses grew more passionate. He shifted his focus to her, tuning back in to the story she’d been sharing about her experience at last year’s festival.

“It was uncanny how much they could tell just by looking at me… Or maybe they were just really good at saying things that could apply to almost anyone, but still. It was quite the encounter. Did any of you go to the elders this year for a reading?”

“No,” Hunter answered, scooping up a bite with a piece of pita bread. “But one of them had some mystical words for me when I first got here.”

“Oh?” Lyra said, curiosity piqued. “Care to share?”

“That I was fragmented,” he shrugged. “And something about the smoothing of the sea.” It felt intensely personal to say it out loud, even though he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about the overall mysticism of the island and its native inhabitants. 

“Hmm,” she mused thoughtfully. “I love the way they see this place and everyone in it.”

Another loud announcement came, notifying everyone that the lanterns would be sent up in half an hour. Lyra’s eyes grew wide, and she looked at Hunter with a spark of excitement that lit up her otherwise calm features. 

“Do you want to see that?” she asked, a weird energy coming from her as though she were trying to disguise her eagerness beneath a front of nonchalance. 

“Um, I suppose…” He hadn’t planned to, but her sudden interest was somewhat infectious. “It sounded like it was going to be chaos.”

“Down here it is,” she nodded, beginning to eat the rest of her plate more quickly. “But I found an amazing lookout that gives you an entirely different view. We’ll have to ride up to the observatory though, and we’ll have to go quickly.”

Hunter nodded, finishing the last of his food and scooping up both trays to throw away. He’d enjoyed the island practice of using fathiers instead of speeder bikes for the most part, and he found a soothing presence in the tall, furry animals. Lyra smiled gratefully, pulling on her coat and slinging her purse across her back. She seemed more expressive than he’d yet seen, eyes aglow with anticipation as they wove their way through the crowd, getting bumped and jostled all around as they went against the flow of traffic. After a momentary separation, Hunter felt cold fingers against his own, a tiny thrill running down his spine as he looked up to see her glancing back at him with an unreadable look on her face, having grabbed his hand to keep them together as they pushed through.

“Sorry,” she said over the noise, letting go suddenly, “I just didn’t want to lose you in this–”

“It’s okay,” he said with a small smile, gently wrapping his warm hand around hers. He felt her wave of excitement and saw a flush creeping across her cheeks before she whirled back around, rushing to get outside of the hustle and bustle of the Town Square. 

When they finally came to the edge of town where the stacked flat roofs gave way to hills and trees, Lyra reached into her purse, pulling out two soft, thin ropes, and whistled loudly. Hunter had been scanning the area for any of the wild fathiers, pondering how he’d catch one, but he stared in disbelief as one promptly appeared from the trees, trotting up to Lyra with a cheerful nicker. She held out a flat palm with a cube of sugar in the middle, stroking the side of its neck as its fuzzy lips flapped around the treat.

“That’s… uh… That’s impressive,” Hunter admitted.

“One of the Xyloans taught it to me,” she explained, carefully weaving the rope around its neck and chest. “They’re amazing creatures… They’re eager to please and satisfied just to get some praise and love.” She peered into the forest as though hoping for another to arrive. The quiet was suddenly broken by a huge cheer rising from the crowd in town. “Ah! We’re going to miss it!” she exclaimed, whistling one last time. But no others seemed to be coming, so she shrugged, looking at Hunter with that buzzing excitement that he was beginning to feel as well.

“Want to ride behind me?” he asked, saying what she seemed unwilling to suggest.

“Seems to be our only option,” she nodded, throwing her purse back to its resting place between her shoulders as she led the mount to a huge fallen log nearby. “Grateful for this big guy at least.” She patted the furry horse-like creature, stretching on her tip-toes as it bent its graceful neck toward her, allowing her to stroke one hand down the back of its long, flat ear as Hunter climbed onto the log to swing his leg over the animal’s back. Lyra followed suit, her chest resting against his back for a moment before she scooted back to allow a few inches between them. But when Hunter nudged the animal into action, she inhaled sharply at the sudden movement, grabbing his waist and pulling herself fully against him. 

His hands tightened around the rope as the fathier broke into an effortless lope up the side of the hill, both of them having to lean forward and tighten their legs around its sides to stay on. The feeling of her arms sliding further around his middle and her front nestled against his spine was disproportionately dizzying. It was warm and soft, sending both comfort and tingles radiating throughout his core. He tried to focus on where they were going instead, guiding the steed with pressure from one foot or the other as they steered toward the observatory.

Lyra stiffened as the angle grew steeper, her thighs pressing against the back of his own, her forearms stacked one atop the other against his ribcage and stomach. Hunter was flooded with a yearning that seemed to come out of nowhere, a deep desire to be held and loved instead of always being the responsible one, the strong one, the dutiful one. And yet there came another powerful realization, that he couldn’t or shouldn’t ever have such a thing because he would age twice as quickly. Could he rob someone of the best years of their life and leave them far too soon? Staggering beneath the sudden onslaught of emotions, he leaned forward, separating the top of his body from hers a bit and taking in a deep breath of the cold air as it flew past them. 

Lights from below caught Lyra’s eye, and she turned, seeing the handmade paper lanterns beginning to rise from the beach and the Town Square at the same time. The wind in her ears and the rhythmic gallop of the fathier drowned out any other noise from the celebration, and her heart leapt in her chest as she saw the observatory coming into view. 

“Almost there!” she yelled, leaning close to bring her face closer to his ear, and his own heart skipped a beat.

FANART BY @ve-ti-ver -- reblog and love on the post here!

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[ouidamforeman]

This may make me look like an idiot bc I can’t articulate myself BUT!!!!!!!! Big Queer Good Omens meta incoming

I want to talk about This Neil Gaiman ask for a minute because I figured out why I really like his blanket response to this “discourse” a lot but still somewhat disagree on the nuance, and why fandom attitudes about this bother me much much more than his open ended response like this one

Under a read more because im going to get Insane

First of all this is going to be riddled with my own viewpoints on queerness as a transmasculine nonbinary person who reads too much theory so if u disagree please be polite lol

So like. To begin with I really don’t think Neil is obligated to understand these nuances or even comment on them, let alone explain them to fans desperate for validation, so the fact that he’s been able to answer so eloquently is pretty impressive considering how vicious fandom is. But I want to specifically talk about what I think he means here and why that seems to bother fandom so much sometimes, and how fan interpretation of these ideas he presents can get Really weird and interesting imo.

In my view, Neil is answering this from a Doylist perspective, as in like. To the real life human audience, angels and demons are inherently queer because they don’t fit into traditional human definitions of genders and sexualities. This especially comes across in his insistence that Aziraphale and Crowley aren’t gay because they aren’t human men, but they ARE queer. This literally just looks to me like him saying “yeah so no angels and demons fit into these categories so they’re definitely queer from our perspective but I understand ‘gay’ as being two men and i don’t think that fits because it’s narrow” and while I disagree on some nuances here for reasons I’ll get into I think this makes total sense as an author describing how, from his perspective, an audience is intended to view these nonhuman characters.

However, I’m much more interested in a more Watsonian explanation of how A&C are queer, one that’s much more relativistic and honestly not something I expect Neil to go over every time he gets another ask about this???? My opinion has always been that A&C choosing human queer masculinity is significant and that it gives evidence to them being nonbinary, transmasc, gay, ace, aro, anything that people headcanon really. Because they are presenting themselves as queer in a HUMAN way in universe imo, which makes them queer not just by the standards of the audience but by the standards of other angels and demons in the story? I think that the fact that they were created as sexless and genderless and then CHOSE human gender presentations, whether nonbinary or not, that reflected themselves, and then them being in love with each other in a human way IS what makes them queer, not Just the idea that an angel without a gender or sexuality/romantic or other relationship orientation is inherently queer from the average human’s perspective. People who just want them to be Human Cis Gay Men are really missing this idea I think.

The thing is though. And I don’t think this is Neil’s problem to solve or whatever, nor does it mean “stop liking that angels and demons are genderless”. The thing that annoys the shit out of me. Is that fandom, even queer fandom, took Neil’s Doylist explanation of celestial beings’ gender status and just didn’t think any further about it. To this day people insist that A&C MUST be nonbinary forever just because they’re an angel and demon and were made that way. Like literally just inventing Fantasy Biological Essentialism again which is annoying as hell to me, another nonbinary person. Again, the fact that they were created without any sense of gender or biological sex and then chose any humanish gender for themselves at all whether nonbinary or not is what makes them queer in universe I feel. I think the “they’re an angel and demon so they’re inherently nonbinary and can’t be anything else” is shit tbh.

To reiterate, I think Neil is responding about this from a Doylist perspective aka “to the real life audience all angels and demons are queer because they don’t fit into human genders and sexualities” but I am focused much more on the Watsonian idea that A&C are queer in universe bc angels and demons can choose their gender presentations like humans can and everyone else hasn’t figured it out bc they haven’t been on earth to figure out what gender even is. I feel fandom gets weird about this because lots of people still see gender as something solely internal and inherent, when I genuinely don’t think that’s all it is. It’s internal feeling, external projection/behavior, and both of those as a reflection of social experience all at once. The feelings and internal sense of Knowing your gender or lack thereof is inherent to your self identity, but your gender is also informed by what you understand genders as, and what presentations you understand and have access to! Aziraphale and Crowley can be Human Genders because, because they’ve been on earth, they 1)know what gender is, 2)can see those feelings reflected in themselves, and 3)through that understanding choose how to present based on their feelings! They don’t just have to be genderless celestial beings in the sense angels are if they don’t feel like it anymore! They can be like “oh actually I’m a queer man” or “oh I’m nonbinary but in the way that I’m among humans and I’m not a man or woman.” I just feel like only considering them queer from a human or angel perspective but not both is sort of undermining the themes in the text against bioessentialism in favor of the instant validation of “oh they’re angels so they must be nonbinary.” Perhaps having any human gender presentation is queer to the average angel. Our internal feelings and sense of self knowledge as queer people is inherent. How we act on those things and assign meaning and labels to them can be anything! A&C can be anything they feel like! They don’t have to be the classic celestial beings above gender! I feel like they would love and have fallen into human gender customs just from so long on earth, and that doesn’t mean they can’t be nonbinary or agender. It means they, as a part of humanity, saw and understood human genders and realized what gender they were in relation, whatever you headcanon that to be. And that’s more queer than “god made them without sex and gender so I guess their species makes them inherently one thing”!!!!!!

[crocheting-cupio]

"Do I Have A Crush?" Quizzes as an Aromantic

In a previous post I had mentioned that I love taking "do I have a crush?" quizzes as an Aromantic. What I didn't share in that post was all of my findings from taking basically every quiz on that topic I could find. This is gonna be a bit of a long one, but I hope it will be an enlightening one!

Being an aro and taking these quizzes is pretty interesting. Because I do get plushes, which for me share some qualities with crushes, but are a completely different experience as a whole. For lack of a better equivalent, I have used my plushes while taking these quizzes. This will become relevant later on.

Anyway, here are my findings:

1. The target demographic for these quizzes is teenage girls. Well, the majority of online quizzes are intended for teenage girls. But these ones are especially designed for teenage girls. It's often painfully obvious by the way they are written, the answers available, and the scenarios provided. About crushes specifically though, this makes sense. Most people have their first crush during their teenage years. So the next logical step is to be curious about these new feelings and take an online quiz to figure out what's going on. Why only girls, though? Hard to say. It could be because they assume boys generally feel more confident in their romantic interest and thus would have no need for such a thing. Worth noting it was very hard to find a TRULY gender inclusive quiz. There's tons of wlm and wlw, but almost nothing for mlw or mlm. And if you're nonbinary or your crush is nonbinary, good fucking luck. The vast majority of them rely on some sort of gender stereotype. So many of these are clearly written from the perspective that you are a cishet woman interested in a cishet man. In multiple quizzes I have actually found typos where instead of using they/them, they accidentally use he/him in one question, almost like it had been up for a few years, then someone edited it later and missed one. A freudian slip if I ever saw one.

2. Practically all of them assume you are currently attending high school I understand that this is the time when most people get their first crush... but there are people who only crush on celebrities and fictional characters until they are an adult. This is not an extremely uncommon occurrence. So as you can imagine, there are a lot of questions that ask about how you interact with this person at school. Usually the addition of "or at work" feels like an afterthought. Some quizzes I've come across don't even consider that an adult might be taking the quiz. Like the question just openly states that you are at school.

3. They frequently assume that your crush is NOT someone in your friend group. This is probably the most interesting one to me personally. Because I myself cannot get a plush on someone until I've known them as a friend for at least three months. And I know plenty of non-aro people that need to get to know someone as a friend before developing romantic feelings. It's just... such an oddly specific assumption, y'know? They don't even consider that maybe this person is already in your friend group (unless you are talking specifically "do I have a crush on my best friend" quizzes). They just doesn't consider that the way you feel about someone can change over time. It's love at first sight or you will never feel that way about that person, I guess. (I think this is more teenager shenanigans. Because "am I about to enter a relationship with an abusive guy" doesn't appear to be the concern. Just that both or either friend group might not approve...?)

4. They generally assume your crush is a stranger or someone you do not know very well. Related to the previous one, this one is kind of weird to me. I understand the concept of love at first sight, but these are "do I have a crush" quizzes, not "is this love at first sight" quizzes. Almost every quiz I took had a least one question that assumed you had fallen in love with someone you have never spoken to. And often for answers on other questions instead of including an "I'm on the fence for how I feel about this person" option in the answers, which would be pretty logical to include, they have an option that says "N/A because I don't actually know them." However, the "do I have a crush on my best friend" quizzes are an exception to this. Instead they often assume you are spending every single free moment of time you have with this person.

5. If you have a crush on your best friend, you have either terribly misinterpreted you feelings and theirs, or they will never feel the same way about you. Um, yeah... I guess some people just can't tell the difference between romantic attraction and just being really good friends. But an important note: I think in some cases there's definitely outside pressure saying that two people "should" be in a romantic relationship simply because they are close platonically. Making those people question how they feel. Hence the existence of these quizzes. I can definitely feel that pressure while taking them.

6. They assume that your friends are all a certain type of person and your relationship with them is very specific. So here's the common assumptions I found across most quizzes:

Your friends are the type of people that are very invested in the love lives of everyone in that friend group. (And also outside of your friend group...)

Your friends are the type of people that will tease you about your romantic interests instead of being supportive.

You talk frequently about your love interests, love life, or lack there of with your friends. (Before you say "What? Everyone does that!" Not everyone does that.)

You are the only person questioning your feelings, everyone else is certain you have a crush.

Thankfully a teenage friend has informed me that this is 100% a teenager behaviour that happens all the time. Although I have seen cases where women under the age of 25 can also do this. I would go into detail about each of those but I think how these are not good assumptions to make is pretty self explanatory. You don't know me, you don't know what my friends are like, stop saying your experiences are universal. I will say blindly trusting the quiz taker's friends is not as reliable of a choice as it sounds. Sometimes people will just call any fond feelings for someone, platonic or not, a crush. And they sometimes will insist that person has a crush even if they say that they do not have a crush and simply want to be friends. And after awhile it can get to your head and feel like the only opinion that matters.

7. They assume this person is someone who you know/you regularly see in real life. In every quiz I took they asked at least one question that I could not answer because the plush I was using for all of these is someone I only know online. Specifically, it was some variant of "how often do you stare at them?" I understand this is a defining part of having a crush for most people, but I was rarely even given the option to say that this person and I are not regularly in the same room. Okay, let's say a teen girl gets a crush on a boy on from another school during like a sports game. She cannot answer this particular question truthfully either because imagining how often you'd stare at someone you met once if you were regularly in the same room with accuracy is not easy.

8. They assume you have the biggest crush, as anything less could lead to negative results from the quiz. Because I do not experience the same feelings, sometimes answering these questions truthfully is very difficult because my options are usually like this:

Q. If your crush asked you to hang out, how would you react?

OMG YES YES YES!!!

Well, we hang out all the time (as friends) so this is just a normal Tuesday for us.

I haven't even introduced myself to this person so they literally cannot ask me to hang out.

I'd make an excuse to not go.

And none of this is even close to how I feel about my plush. Or even about my friends. I cannot answer this question with 100% honesty. Legitimately, I've felt like I've gotten "you don't have a crush" results for the simple reason that I am not head over heals for my plush. Often it was either "every thought in my mind is of them" or "they're alright, I guess." But you can see how only the first option, with the most intense feelings, suggests that you have a crush. The other three options are either completely neutral feelings or suggest dislike. And since that's what people are taking this quiz to figure out, almost everyone is going to pick the first option. It might as well be just "would you hang out with your crush if they asked you, yes or no?"

So these quizzes are built on the assumption that you do, in fact, have a crush. You just want those feelings validated.

"Okay that's great Snowy, but what results did you get from these quizzes as an aromantic?"

Well, I didn't write down exact numbers since there were so many quizzes I took over about an eight month period. Some of them I took multiple times months apart and got different results. But I'd say about 60% said I had a crush, or was likely to have a crush. And 40% said I did not, or it wasn't likely to be a crush.

The funny part?

When I took some of those I didn't have a plush on anyone at the time. I was just using how I felt platonically about a close friend as the "crush." And while this did sway the results, it was not by much. Turning it more into a 50/50 chance.

No plush, no sexual attraction, they are JUST my friend. And yet, the results screen tells me I am deeply in love with them about half of the time.

When I said they assume you do have a crush, I really meant it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, I have actually made my own "do I have a crush" quiz that hopefully avoids doing everything I just talked about. No assumptions about the person you may have feelings for, no assumptions about your friends, no assumptions about you, who you are, or why you are taking it in the first place.

It's password locked since I'd like to get results strictly from people who find this post on Tumblr (for now). So type in this word when prompted:

conformity

Thank you for reading all the way to the end. I spent a long time with all the research and writing so it means a lot to me. 💖

[platonically-loving-alastor]

Aroace Alastor

Hoo boy here we go- This one might make some people mad at me, so I'll preface by saying I do not want to start a fight and as long as you respect my business, I'll respect yours. But let's get this over with-

First off, I genuinely don't understand how some people can see the Ace-In-The-Hole quote and still believe that Alastor is only intended to be asexual and not also aromantic. Yes, the term Rosie used for purpose of the pun was 'ace', but can we look at the context of that moment before jumping to conclusions?

Rosie, motioning to Charlie: "Oh, who's this you brought with you? Come now, Alastor, she's much too young for you! Oh, I'm just kidding. I know you're an ace in the hole!"

Her original statement implies nothing sexual, only that he's involved in a relationship with Charlie, and she follows it up with why she knows that couldn't be because he's an 'ace in the hole'. I don't think you have to read too far between the lines to see that.

I would also like to say that when Vivienne has spoken about his orientation before, I recall her saying that she didn't want to confirm him being aromantic so that she wouldn't 'ruin anyone's fun', which I just feel like is an odd thing to say if she wasn't already explicitly picturing him as aroace. If she thought he had romantic attraction, why wouldn't she just say that? What fun would that ruin? I also feel like keeping things like this ambiguous just to appease the shippers is a little weird, but I digress-

And to those of you who I know are saying "But aromantic people can be in relationships too!!" *deep inhale* yeah I know. I'm not gonna pretend you're not right about that, but there are also aroace people who have exactly 0 interest in romance or sex at all. This is the part of the post that really is based on how I interpret certain moments, but to me he is absolutely one of those people. I don't really know where people get any vibes of him being interested in that stuff. I have never once looked at him and thought "Yeah I could see him in a romantic relationship with *insert character here*". Even aside from attraction in general, since that's what we'd be talking about at this point anyway, he just seems like the kind of guy who'd rather work and live independently instead of relying on anyone, whether practically or emotionally (which is also probably part of the reason he never joined the Vees, but that's another topic entirely). Hell, I'm pretty sure he's in heavy denial about even developing any kind of care or friendship with the people at the hotel (ie. the episode 8 scene with him and Niffty).

The only ships I see him involved in with people he doesn't hate (so ignoring RadioApple, RadioHusk, and StaticRadio. But to be real, maybe the fact all his main ships are enemies to lovers coded says something about the whole situation, but that's just me-) are Charlastor - which I will not even try to discuss here, people aren't gonna like this post as it is - and RadioRose. Rosie and him would at least be fair, if it weren't for one thing (which is also personal opinion on my end), and I don't know exactly how to word it. I'm tempted to say she has wingwoman vibes? But she knows he's aro, so that's not the right word, but there's vibes of like, she probably did act as a wingwoman before she realized that about him or something.. There's also something about her joking around like "Oh this is the girl? You have a girlfriend and I'm only now meeting her?" is almost giving motherly behavior. Idk man they're just besties to me, I could see them in a QPR though (not that they'd probably label it that way, considering the word queerplatonic is likely just complete gibberish to Alastor lmao).

So to summarize: It feels incredibly likely, if not practically canon, that Alastor was written with aromanticism in mind, even if Vivienne refuses to explicitly state it. Subtext and not-that-subtle implications can say just as much about a character as word of God, especially when that God has explicitly told us why she won't confirm or deny this information. Do I think any of this will stop people from shipping him romantically with literally any other character? No ofc it won't, and that's okay, that's just what fandoms do. I do think there's something to say for the fact the one aroace (or even at the very least asexual) character gets constantly shipped with everyone else in the cast, but this post is long enough I think. The only point of posting this is that I wanted to get information out there in one post to say "Hey, let's look a little bit past the surface for a second before saying there's no proof of him being aromantic"

Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope you at least took something away from this

[ooojudithooo]

Go watch Star Trek Prodigy, it´s awsome

Here be spoilers, I guess

With everthing going on at the moment I really needed a lot of distraction and binged Star Trek: Prodigy season 2.

And it is awesome. Really good. Story wise the best Star Trek I have seen in years, if not ever. It masks as a childrens show, as many good shows do, and it certainly is fun for (older! Those monsters are scary!) children, they just can´t appreciate the details of it all.

This was made by hardcore fans. They watched every show, read every book, comic, leaflet, fanfic that was ever written, they played the games and assembeled the models. Then they put it all together, wrote an amazing script, hired every Star Trek actor they could find and animated it with an obviously much higher budget than season 1.

There are so many easter eggs, you have to watch it three times to even scratch the surface. I certainly didn´t get half of it (which is mainly because I pretty much stopped watching after voyager and only kind of sampled the new shows). There a obvious things, and there are things like naming the new vulcan character Ma´jel. I only got that after looking for fanfiction (as one does) and saw it written for the first time. Speaking of names, theres a humpback whale on the new Voyager, and their name is Gillian (I got that one)!

There´s Catherine Janeway. I love her. There´s Janeway and Chakotay being lovey-dovey like in the series, before it went all to shit in the last season (I was so mad. They were my OTP before I even knew what that was. Seems I was not the only one).

There´s Wesly Crusher. I had a crush on him when I was 17 and I still have a crush on him now when I´m 47, and it´s "just" Wil Weatons voice and an animated character in a cableknit jumper. With me being aro ace that is really an accomplishment (mind, I have a crush on Wesley, not on Wil). His story arc is great!

The story is really good. It´s so tight-knit, that you kind of jump in at the beginning and come out dazed and delighted at the end. The young protagonists are exactly that - young, enthusiastic, sometimes brilliant and sometimes very dumb, carrying the plot with ease (they are also very much traumatised from their life before, but doing their best in all circumstances).

Of course there are also thing I did not like that much, like the Vau N'Akat, who got a bit too much spotlight (kinda like the Klingons in DS9), or the animations, which were, as said, much better than in season 1, but still weirdly clunky sometimes.

But still, a very good series. It´s the kind of Star Trek I want to watch - lovingly written, well acted, weird and funny and sad. And full of hope. No, not just hope, certainty, that it will get better.

Go watch it, I want season 3.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Haiiiiiii

I love your art so much and would absolutely love to get a paperback. Unfortunately, I haven't exactly come out to my parent's yet 😅 and it might look weird ordering this, so I'd have to explain. Thier very supportive and I'm sure they'll support me, I'm still just very scared. Do you have any advice if you've done this before?

Hi!! And sorry for the late reply TwT

I think with my parents it happened kind of in that way for me! I started wearing aro/ace pins since my late teenage years (shortly after the ace flag became a thing hehe) and my parents just sort of... Noticed over time, I think.

My mom was the only one who commented on it (my parents are separated so interactions are separate). She wasn't very understanding at first (she is super understanding and supportive now, which I also pin on her being in a much better place in her life), but back then whenever she would express the usual "but isn't that sad" concerns, my two ever-supportive brothers would laugh it off like "no it's not sad / why are you even surprised she's made it obvious for a while". It helped me a great deal.

I guess one thing to keep in mind is there may be an initial lack of understanding, there's always a risk (though it's much lesser if your parents are supportive already!), but you shouldn't let that get to you, as much as you're able. Unless your parents actively try to force relationships you don't want on you (which would suck for anybody in any orientation), they can't do anything to physically prevent you from living as who you are. In my younger years I tended to shrug off a lot of people who didn't understand my orientation. I knew who I was and that was all I needed. I know I make it sound easier than it is probably TwT But I hope this can help anyhow!

EDIT: I almost forgot to say! I've found that even though she didn't understand much at first, my mom was quick to ask questions and lend a listening ear to understand better, so in my own experience, you shouldn't be afraid of responding to questions from your parents openly! If they're supportive, they won't be like those people who just ask stuff to "negociate" you into actually being straight or indirectly make fun, it'll be out of a sincere will to know you better, and it can be really sweet.