qualitydiamblog

[multapohja966]

its so weird to hang out with people who haven’t abandoned stuff like traditional beauty ideals, status based human worth, etc assimilation mindsets. like who am i to these people if they still view the world through this framework

[snekdood]

bitches prolly out here psychoanalyzing my old art on behalf of my abuser to cushion their belief that im a Horrible Person but then dont see the irony when I point out the shitty things my abuser has drawn and how I see it as clear evidence of their mindset and beliefs (of what's okay to do and how to treat people) descending and pairing that along with everything else they've done and it paints a clear picture of how this person got to the point of thinking it was okay to abuse me the way they did and then the people looking for reasons to hate me through my art will act like "they're just drawings !!!" about their art. which one is it. does someones art say something about them or not? or does it only say something about them if you hate them?

[homunculus-argument]

hey there! this sounds like a bit of a silly question, but as a trans guy, you’re one of the few trans people i’ve been following almost since i joined tumblr, so based on your other anon ask and answer i figured i’d pop in and ask if you have any advice? if you want to answer, ofc :) — i foresee this being a bit long, so i totally get if not

so i’m also a trans guy, but i haven’t been able to take any steps toward medical transitioning before since i live with my parents. but i’ll move out soon, and i still can’t decide if i should take any of these steps even once i do. i’ve never felt like i particularly wanted to medically transition (i don’t really care about how my body looks + i’ve never really cared about changing any of it), but i would like to be seen a guy — i don’t mind if not so by strangers, but maybe so by like, my friends. but i can’t help but feel like i’d be laughed at for wanting that — i’m not naturally androgynous or masculine looking to others and i have never been mistaken for a guy, because i have really long hair, d cups, and curves. and without medically transitioning, i also kinda feel like i’m… betraying the trans community, since i’m not really putting the effort into my transition and so i’m just ‘pretending’, even though i do know i’m not.

so my question would be: as a trans person who has transitioned, socially and medically, do you think people are more understanding than i think they are currently? do you know of any trans people who don’t want to medically transition, and do you think it’s possible to live fulfilled that way? or even: do you think it would be easier for someone like me to just live a lie? i usually tell people i’m a lesbian, because they definitely would not look at me and assume ‘straight guy’, but also, as a trans person who doesn’t want to medically transition, i’m just always worried that i won’t be taken seriously. i feel like your experience of being trans and probably interacting with the community is much more than mine, which is why i ask this last one — i would try being open myself, but again, i’m still living with my parents unfortunately.

I'll be honest I don't actually really know much "community" save for former art school classmates. I've only known one trans person irl who chose not to medically transition - at the time, Finland's trans law was still shitty and required sterilisation for legal sex change, and all that. She didn't want kids or anything, but refused to engage in the process as her own little personal civilian protest. I don't want to paint some caricature picture of some Sharp Dommy Tall Scary Goth Trans Anarchist, but I was deeply impressed by the way she didn't do a single thing to try to seem smaller, softer, or in any way submissive or docile to be ~feminine~ the right, socially accepted way.

She wasn't just taller than most men but usually the tallest person in the room, and she stood out in a crowd of cis women like a crane in a chicken coop - a bird just as much as they are, but a different kind of bird. And I remember thinking that I could never do that, being so unflinching and unhesitant about standing out in the crowd because assimilating and muting yourself is beneath your dignity.

Honestly, I don't know what to tell you about being openly trans without transitioning medically, save for that it takes more guts than being able to just go stealth. I had physical dysphoria about the way my body was, and was desperate to get top surgery just for the sake of my own physical comfort, and I like the convenient anonymity of being able to just be Just Some Guy who doesn't attract anyone's interest or curiosity.

It's a smart move to not come out to your parents before you're out of their house and not relying on them for anything - this is something everyone should use their own judgement for, but I stress it to every queer kid to not take the risk if there's any chance that they'll react poorly while they still have power over you. But living your whole life in the closet - "living a lie" is a good way to put it - will corrode you from the inside.

It's better to live in peace with yourself and against the world, than in peace with the world against yourself. There is absolutely nothing in your power that you could do to change the minds of people who have already decided that they don't respect you, and if they try telling you that they would, if you only met their approved criteria, they are lying. That's bait they're dangling in front of you, and there's no "earning" the respect of such people.

Stay true to yourself and be good to people, and you'll have the respect of people who are capable of respecting you. Don't waste your time and energy on people who won't respect you, every thought and effort you spare them is wasted on them.

[oh-no-its-bird]

recently, i've started to see things where tobirama is reincarnated as sakura or is sakura's "inner", which is really interesting. could i get your take on this?

Unfortunatley I don't actually know much ab Sakura's inner! I learned naruto lore via fanfiction (never actually touched any canon media, oops) and have only actually read like 3 Sakura centric ones, I straight up didn't even know Sakura had a multiple personality(?) thing going for her till a few months ago (and boy wasn't that a surprise)

I think Tobirama being reincarnated as her could be p fun!! But also I think I'd be more interested in telling a story where he just straight up reincarnated as someone not existing in canon, if only bc then he could also interact WITH Sakura instead of just being her

I find that a lot of stories that try to give Sakura agency just kind of toss her entire character out the window and start from scratch, which is fun and valid! But it's more fun for me to make direct, uncomfortable eyecontact w canon her and find increasingly stupid or chaotic ways to fast track that whole "character development" thing or at least find ways to explain why she's Like That(tm)

So yeah I don't have toooo much interest in Tobirama reincarnating as specifically Sakura or her inner, but I could be into a story where he just reincarnates in proximity to her and then see how they bounce off of eachother. Maybe as a sibling? That could be cool

If he's born a girl we can zap em with the trans beam on top of the body dismorphia of suddenly being a whole child, that could be interesting. The blatant sexism of naruto canon could also make for an interesting plotline if we want to actually get into that

I kind of like the idea of him not actually remembering his previous life, at least not in full. Maybe he has weird dreams sometimes, maybe he looks at photos of the Nidaime and gets weird feelings of dejavu.

I suddenly have a very specific mental image of him getting a scar on his cheek, where one of his tattoos used to be, and just staring in a mirror afterwards at this super weird feeling of dejavu mixed w a sensation of it not being right mixed w just general body dismorphia and aw fuck why does he feel like he's both a little more right and further from himself than he's ever been?

Anyways would he be born younger or older than Sakura? Older brother him is just super overprotective, often suffering from nightmares of sensing as Sakura and some unnamed "other sibling" of his dies. It could also mean he can interact with Itachi actually, maybe they can be emotionally stunted baby genius friends or smthn

But younger sibling him could make for a surprisingly compelling parallel with Sakura and Hashirama! Especially w how Sakura later goes on to train with Tsunade n stuff

Part of me wants to say he's still names Tobirama for simplicitys sake, he can just be named after the Nidaime or smthn. But also that feels a bit cheap even if it is easier, so at least for now we'll name him Tora

Him and cat Tora can square off for name rights idk

Tora speaking oddly formally for a civilian, and having the kind of respect for your elders that come from being a second son in an elder run clan in ancient Japan. He has an awful time trying to form emotional attachments with people, including but especially his parents, who for some reason never really felt like his

But also him having a super easy time being attached to his new little sister Sakura, who he refuses to see anything bad happen to ever

So Tora and Sakura's parents being like suuper traditional, which is why Sakura is Like That when it comes to boys (she's constantly being told she needs to find a man to take care of her) Tora acts as a good figure and role model in her life, so while she's still interested in romance like canon she isn't AS boy crazy and can do a bit of thinking for herself.

And then we can get some fun conflict between Tora and his parents, who unfortunatley don't get the whole trans thing and constantly insist he needs to either drop the shinobi thing and find a husband, or if he does keep going at the shinobi thing, use it to find a husband there then drop it

Yeah he's not doing either of those things.

(they find out he's friends w the Uchiha clan heir and immediatley get weird about it, all glowing with pride that he's "attracting such good potential husbands" n stuff (Tora is PISSED))

Anyways Tora being just alarmingly good at literally any jutsu Tobirama invented. Like, ALARMINGLY good. He has that first life muscle memory, which unfortunatley is NOT a valid alibi and he's about to get his ass beat for seeming to have reverse engineered secret jutsus he shouldn't be able to know.

It isn't HIS fault that just glancing at the flying thunder god technique that one time was apparently enough for him to instinctively understand how to use it!!! Maybe this "Tobirama" guy should have just been better at making his jutsu harder to understand, this is clearly not his fault

He manages to help avoid the Uchiha massacre by being friends with Itachi, the two of them both graduating early and at the same ages, joining the same team and then ANBU together and so on.

Tora being really strong and graduating early and all that only further motivating Sakura to be a super strong shinobi, just like her big brother! Maybe she and Sasuke can even bond or have met earlier through Itachi and Tora's friendship.

Sakura and Sasuke childhood friends agreeing to try and graduate early together just like their older siblings. Not really into sasusaku but Ill say Sakura can keep her crush on him but be actually normal about it via exposure plus maybe some boy advice from Tora (he's a shinobi, so if you really want to charm him, you'll have to beat him first)

She can maybe lose it with time (and exposure to him being a dumb cringe fail kid w his brother still around) and maybe go kiss Ino idk

Anyways, Tora and Itachi friendship. Shisui is also there!! (Love that guy)

They're dynamic is just emotionally suppressed bastard (thinks hes better than you) + emotionally suppressed bastard (knows hes better than you) + upbeat guy smiling at you as he holds a gun to your head

Shisui and Tora take turns driving the car as Itachi sits in the back seat peacefully eating some applesauce (he's just happy to be here)

They're gonna blow up the hokage tower for the good of the people 👍

They're on an ANBU team w Kakashi and Tenzo and forget about going grey, they're gonna make Kakashi's hair straight up fall out from the stress

Maybe Tora can move out of his parents house the first chance he gets, and then whatever place he manages to find can be a little safe place for Itachi. Itachi accidentally ends up almost moving in w him as things at home get worse and worse w the coup. He just stays over more and more and doesn't want to return home

Circling back to the "Tora instinctivley knows how to navigate Tobirama's seals/techniques" the most terrifying point of the story is when he sees Naruto's jinchuriki seal and realizes he knows how to mess with it

Uh oh!! Shouldn't have that information!!

Anyways take some doodles

(Danzo is "that jackass who won't let me look at the nidaime's old research" and Tora has a GRUDGE.)

[cyberskulzzz]

Could you do Rory (mbav) headcanons??

sorry I took so long,I dont know if I ate or if these are absolutely controversial but hope you enjoy<333

Rory Keaner Headcanons

General headcanons:

•Trans female to male (ftm) and definitely grew up catholic. 

•His dad and him dont have a great relationship due to that,the only reason he was able to transition was his mom,which he is very close to and thankful for.

•He went no contact with his dad as he got older.

•A bit of a mommas boy. 

•I think he’s either straight or pan,idk I just get the vibes. 

•Had a crush on Benny at the beginning of their friendship. 

•Listens to fallout boy. 

•YAPPER obviously 

•Obsessed with sour candy and will eat way too much of it till he gets sick. 

•Has the deepest sleep ever and can literally sleep through 13 hours every weekend. 

•No social filter what so ever,doesn’t mask at all. 

•Has a hot wheel collection of cool race cars. 

•Great with kids cause he’s energetic and playful obviously. 

•I feel like nowadays he’d dress in a 2000s teenage dirtbag way but maybe Im also just delusional,who knows. 

•Dog person 100%. 

•A stoner,I just see it,not a lot but occasionally with Erica or Benny,they try not to smoke with/around Ethan there cause weed just makes him more anxious. 

Boyfriend Rory:

•That boy immediately stalked your socials,any information he could get was appreciated,it also meant that it was easier for him to flirt/start a convo with you,cause let me tell you that boy was NERVOUS. 

•Clingy,texts you every five minutes and follows you around like a lost puppy. 

•Sees anything as a date,from keeping you company at appointments or while running errands to just doing nothing all day,its a date. 

•Worships you and the ground you walk on,that boy is so obsessed with you,sometimes he’ll just stare and ask himself how he pulled you. 

•This might be controversial but I think he’s trans I just see it,and you being his first long term partner gives him SO much gender euphoria,he just adores you. 

•Will not stop talking about you,no matter the topic he finds a reason to bring you into the conversation when talking to Benny or Ethan,which annoys them,a lot. 

•A gentleman,respective of your boundaries although he might be a teeny tiny bit too fast forward or pushy sometimes.  

•LOVES to hear you yapping,though I feel like he’d zone out sometimes and just admire you (blah blah blah proper name place name back to my stuff). 

•He was those starwars lightning swords(I think thats what they’re called please don’t come for me🥲🤞) and you guys have play fights with those. 

•Just a lot of play fighting in general. 

•Although I see his music taste going more into 2000s emo,pop punk,if youre a pop girly/boy he will listen to the pop girlies,I could see him especially liking Sabrina Carpenter or Taylor Swift (him and Ethan start arguments about Taylor cause Ethan‘s not a fan apparently.)

•Can be forgetful,might forget dates or to include or offer to include you in the groups plans,he does feel incredibly sorry when he notices though. 

•Will offer to turn you into a vampire more than once but is definitely scared to actually bite you cause he doesn’t want to hurt you or scare you. 

•Very stubborn when arguing and will give you the silent treatment,not for long though. 

•You’d routinely watch some paranormal documentary on date nights along with getting pizza. 

•That boy has ADHD and maybe a bit of the tism (same Rory same) so he’s always down for activity dates,I could see him LOVING the fair or an arcade. 

•I feel like his (giving) love languages are gift giving (and he’d go all out with it) and physical touch. 

•Love language wise when it comes to receiving for him,is 100% words of affirmation,compliment or praise him and he’d immediately melt. 

•A bit out of character,maybe a headcanon for when he’s a bit older of course (and confident)but I could see him having lingerie polariod pics of you in his clear phone case,without your face on it cause he doesn’t want to show you of like that,its just a reminder for him. 

•LOVES LOVES LOVES hearing your gossip and is really really invested in it too,if its from your social life or even just pop culture doesn’t matter,that boy will be listening full time. 

•Would definitely take you on night flights to enjoy city lights or you’d people watch through windows so you could gossip. 

God I love him

Taglist: @pr3ttyf4wn, @pinkestglittercat, @ray2o2, @bettyweir, @throwback-town, @t0b7z-pl47h0u53

Divider credit: @ianrkives, @witchrealms, @thecutestgrotto

[catboybiologist]

I'm trans! Here's a way-too-long ramble on my internal thoughts on that!

My other posts on this:

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/725852054829023232/im-going-to-document-some-things-about-my?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/725851397783011328/the-short-answer-is-no-but-im-gonna-have-a?source=share

So yay I’m trans! Which like, is neither unexpected nor abnormal for the community I’ve fostered here, so I’m guessing most of y’all’s reactions is just a “hey cool”. But, you see the online side of me, not the irl side, so there’s still a lot of thoughts to sort out on my end. So I’m dumping a lot of thoughts here to sort all that out. And hoooly shit, it got very long, and I still feel like I have more to say… but yeah. If you wanna hear some perspectives on my relation to gender, transness, and femboy culture, read on!

I guess the best way I can think to style this is as an interview with an imaginary third person, sooo…. Bold text is questions I can imagine people having LOL

So what’s my own personal relationship with the term femboy, catboy, and gendered terminology in general? Is the name of your accounts gonna change?

Short answer, no. I like the name CatboyBiologist. “Catboy” itself is a term that is completely untethered from gender at this point to me. Tbqh, the “cat” part feels more wrong than the boy part- as time goes on, I’ve generally ditched the cat ears for most of my outfits as I take them a bit more seriously. Maybe that’ll change when my transition actually starts, but for now, CatboyBiologist stays, and the femboy related language stays in all of my own past posts (keyword, past- more on that in a bit).

I’m not gonna be updating my approach to pronouns. Any pronouns do just fine, I’m sending a vibe into the world and pronouns are my feedback as to what other people interpret that vibe is. Default to they/them if you don’t know what to do with that.

I will be updating my pinned post to link all of these posts, but mostly copy/paste the information from before. That might take a moment cuz I’m lazy, tbh.

And let’s get something else out of the way.

I’m not socially transitioning yet, and probably won’t for a while.

Which, I think leads to a lot of follow up:

Well, why not?

I present fully male and masculine on a day to day basis, and look the part too. Part of it is just this looks insecurity. The mask stays on in my pictures for a reason. Beyond just facial hair (which grows aggressively on me and always shows some shadow), my face looks pretty masculine overall. It takes time to look the way I do in my posts. I wanna give my face and body some time to change so I can look more femme in more casual ways before I present it to the world.

Beyond that, I’m also just worried about being “accepted” as femme straight off the bat. Implicitly, I know this will be easier if I already have some small amounts of physical feminization down my belt.

There’s two main environments that worry me: family, and professionally. Family is a weird hot mess grey area that is too personal to talk about here, but the professional atmosphere is certainly going to be a bit… weird. I live in an accepting geographic region, and around people who are very outspokenly trans supportive…. But most of whom are cishet and simply don’t have a lot of experience seeing or working around trans people. I’m more afraid of being seen as “trans first, biologist second” as far as my career is concerned, than I am about outright transphobia. I know this will never fully go away, and given that I’m 6’2”, I’ll probably never “fully” pass- but I’d at least like people to implicitly read my as femme on a gut level before I start changing how I present that way. One thing my irl femboy experience has shown me is that, even if people can “clock” you intellectually, the way their gut instinct reads you affects whether they treat you as masc or femme. I hope that makes sense on some level. Of course its always going to be an awkward shift, but I hope some time on HRT will make it less awkward.

I’ve come out to one person that doesn’t know about this online persona, or the depths of my queerness. They straight up told me they were shocked. They were incredibly supportive, but they told me they didn’t see it coming at all. And they already knew that I “crossdressed occasionally”. So that’s kinda what I’m working with here.

Essentially, I’m not actually truly “transitioning” in a real sense yet. More than that, I feel like I’m getting the ball rolling. If there’s anything I learned in my research, it’s that HRT takes a while, much longer than anyone expects (suppressing my rant about how the media cherrypicks people in early transition for trans representation and the effect that has on public perception). Two years is often cited as the “end” point, but based on both scientific and anecdotal accounts, that is wildly untrue and variable. I also know that the first changes onset quickly (skin and mood, most notably), but that overall body shape changes sometimes take a VERY long time to start and progress. So to be quite honest, I barely feel like I’m transitioning yet, I’m just laying groundwork for the future.

So yeah. I’m gonna be boymoding for a bit. Possibly a year or more. Even for the people who know, I’ve still asked them to address me as he/him or they/them, and use my masculine name for now (haven’t even really decided on a femme name yet, although I have ideas [open to suggestions as well]).

Wait, so why address it online at all?

Put simply, honesty. I’m displaying a lot of selfies and experimentation with my look here, and I want to make it abundantly clear what I’m doing to have an effect on that. People have asked me if I’m on HRT in comments before, and like, I’m not gonna lie about that. Might as well also make a shitpost, a data gathering post, and a too-long ramble about it as well (which you’re reading now!).

There are a LOT of body image issues in femboy spaces (and trans spaces too!), often among very young people. While I have no issue with people on HRT continuing to call themselves a femboy (more on that in a bit), I do think transparency on that matter is helpful for those body image issues.

So to make it abundantly clear: all of my selfies and pictures that I’m labeling and tagging as “femboy” are pre-HRT. In the future, everything I tag with “trans” is post-HRT. I still got 1-2 weeks before actually starting, and I’m still going to use the femboy tag for any outfits I post during that time. The moment an estradiol pill hits my mouth, though, new pics will use trans tags.

Posts that relate to discussion of the interplay of the communities, and how I view myself within them, I’ll tag with both.

Which leads to another follow up question. This one isn’t about me specifically, but it’s my hot take about a certain brand of trans discourse I’ve seen around (mostly on reddit tbh):

Why would someone who knows they’re mtf trans willingly call themselves a femboy and/or request people to “misgender” them?

So this is actually gonna be striking a nerve with me, and I know I’m gonna kinda be strawmanning here by arguing against the ghost of reddit comments past. I’m not gonna try to dig any of them up in the internet archive, but they are sentiments I’ve seen multiple times.

I’ve seen this question almost word for word in the comments of trans subreddits multiple times. Imma be blunt, and it’s maybe gonna sound a little mean. If this thought is going through your head, you’re likely way more sensitive and particular about labels than most people. And that’s okay! Ask people to address you how you want, you deserve that respect! But the real answer to this question is that many people simply don’t mind being called whatever label is most useful or familiar to themselves in various contexts.

The moment that it becomes completely unacceptable is when someone does actually change their pronouns, name, presentation, etc, and people still address them as “male” or “femboy”. That is completely the fuck out of line, and if you don’t agree, fuck off.

Why does this strike a little bit of a nerve with me? Well, the “conclusion” I saw reached in these trans spaces multiple times when the subject was brought up was annoying as hell. That conclusion was that the only or primary reason that people labeled themselves a femboy, even while on HRT… was to sell their onlyfans. My fucking god, seriously? This is just conservative rhetoric. Luckily, on tumblr, it seems that people are a lot more accepting towards people using whatever language they like to describe themselves, which I’ve enjoyed a lot.

I’ve also had a lot of hate towards “fencesitting” directed at me on reddit, from trans people, for calling myself a femboy. I can’t remember it verbatim, but I very distinctly recall getting a DM that went something like “I fucking hate femboys, just transition already. You’re making us (transfemmes) look bad.” So yeah. Bit of a sore spot.

Yadda yadda yadda the personal journey shit

If I can be real for a moment…. In an ideal world, I would still want to be a part time femboy. Even moreso than the sheer utility of it all (eg, enjoy cis male privilege when I want, but still get treated more femme in certain contexts), it feels almost more profound to fuck with gender norms without sitting on one side of the gender line or another. But I can’t really ignore what I’ve described as my “mental resting state”- a baseline crackle of dysphoria that fills the space in my head when there’s nothing else to fill it. It’s easily distracted, but its always there, and I can’t imagine living my life that way anymore.

I’ve pretty much known I was trans since I was about 12, and had a realization that puberty was just starting to hit me, and I hated it. I suppressed it deeply, for many, many reasons that I don’t think I want to share here. But it made a lot of other mental health struggles in my life a lot worse, even if I didn’t consciously acknowledge that’s what was happening. By the time I was willing to consciously acknowledge it, I realized that my dysphoria wasn’t so bad as to dive in right away. But, I made moves to stabilize my life overall, which have been massively beneficial to me in other ways as well.

During the pandemic, I found myself living alone for the first time ever. So during the pandemic, in one last ditch effort to try to convince myself I wasn’t trans, I delved into femboy aesthetics to try and “just be a feminine man”.

That failed.

So yeah, here I am. I have a wonderful queer community both irl and online, a meagre but stable income, health insurance that has great coverage for trans care, and accepting people around me in my life. It’s long overdue. Maybe I’ll beat myself up for waiting so long and masculinizing so much as a result, but I don’t think I really could have done it any other way.

This all said, I don’t actually really consider myself a woman yet. I’m sure many of you are aware of two different ways transfemmes view themselves(and trans people in general, but using a transfemme perspective here):

-Some view themselves as having always been girls or women, but took some time to realize it and make their body more comfortable for themselves with that information.

-Others view themselves as boys or men who made efforts to become women later.

I fall strongly in the second line of thinking for myself. For my own personal experiences, even though I have felt dysphoria for a long time, I don’t really think I’m “actually” a woman yet. I don’t know what my identity as a woman looks like yet. But I deeply want to discover and create who that person is, and there’s no way to do that without transitioning.

B but… BASIC BIOLOGY!!!!!

How many biology degrees do you have? I got a BS and an MS, and I’m working on my PhD. I’m sure you’ve brought a similar level of expertise to this discussion.

But seriously, I could genuinely write an entire fucking essay about how studying biology has influenced my views on this subject, but honestly, that’s an entirely different topic. But tl;dr is that bioessentialism is brainrot, and if someone tries to use essentialist language to “justify” someone’s transness (or gender in general)… well, I think they’re wrong. Plain and simple. We don’t say someone isn’t “really able to see” if they put glasses in front of their eyes.

I’m stopping myself before I write more here, because this warrants another post or even a fucking video essay, to be quite honest. But yeah. Biology based.

Conclusion?

Uhhhh… in conclusion, I’m not particular about language or pronouns you use for me, I’m making posts about it anyways to ensure honesty associated with my selfies, if you’re transphobic jump of the tallest bridge you can find. I think that about covers it.

[emotboyswag]

The bittersweet nature of "passing" as a trans person

I have no regrets in my transition except this one thing which i find it hard to express bcs i dont wanna sound ungrateful for being a passing trans person.

my disclaimer to this post is: it is hard to be a non passing trans person and non passing trans people are far more vulnerable than passing trans people. Also passing is not every trans persons goal. Although it is one of my goals in my transition im not saying "i have it now i regret it" im just gonna say kinda like. a sadder side to passing.

pre T i would say i passed like 60% of the time to cis ppl and when i wasnt seen as a dude theyd always either ask my pronouns or like ask my gender (i live in a pretty liberal place). i was quite rarely out and out just misgendered like maybe 5% of the time in the basically 7 years i lived as a pre T trans person (not including ppl who misgendered me on purpose) but i was sooo clocky to trans people like i am a v socially awkward guy but i found it easy to make trans friends when i met trans people irl when i was pre T bcs they mostly knew and we kinda were drawn together.

Im now a year and 8 months on T and i love passing i pass genuinely 100% of the time even when im not binding (and i have a larger chest that im very dysphoric about) and i have a cis passing voice. I often have a lot of like. not imposter syndrome about it but i have bad dysphoria and often assume im not gonna pass when i do or assume i look more like a girl than i do. Also im 5'3 and have kinda long hair (not long but i used to have it super short and now its a bit longer) but im just seen as a cis guy. so like i am not pretending i dont love passing it makes my life soo much easier and lessened my dysphoria.

What i will say is i miss the immediate kinship of meeting another trans person or being in the same room as another trans person and both knowing ur trans or becoming friends bcs ur trans or automatically having someone to pair up w in a group of strangers bcs u both know ur trans. Also on nights out i miss meeting new ppl and just talking to each other about being trans bcs we automatically recognise each other. like i miss the solidarity u feel as a trans person when u seen another one rather than trans ppl assuming im cis and me actively making an effort to mention im trans around new trans ppl. also i miss that trans ppl used to feel automatically safe around me whereas now i know bcs im perceived as a cis man sometimes they feel on edge. idk its just bittersweet i think <3

[witchthewriter]

Probably a weird question, but which HP characters do you imagine as LGBTQIA or/and POC? (Because let’s make Joke Rollling/She Who Must Not Be Named… ANGRY!! 😏)

I would LOVE TO! J.K.Rowling is Rita Skeeter to me. Also you should look up 'The Worst Witch,' because it's basically Harry Potter.

𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑴𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑬

Most definitely black, or what if she came from an Indian family who wanted her to marry and the Wizarding World was her escape? She studies hard because this new world is a second chance for freedom!

I also wish Hermione was bisexual/pansexual. She and Ginny, or even she and Cho would make such a gorgeous couple!

𝑳𝑼𝑵𝑨

I think it would have been cool if she was an albino (I am so sorry if that's not the right way to say it. I don't want to offend anyone). Her long white hair, pale skin, translucent lashes and brows. With beautiful purple eyes (this is actually how I imagined the Targaryens to look, not just having white hair).

She is definitely demisexual; only feeling attraction after developing a friendship first. I can also see Luna as trans!

𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑹𝒀

I've seen some fancasts and fanart of Harry with his ethnicity being Indian, or Pakistani. Which I'm completely okay with. Maybe even James is half black, and that makes Harry a quarter, so it's still noticeable - and another thing that the Dursley's are horrible to him about.

I think Harry is Bi/Pan - I have this headcanon that he had a crush on Oliver Wood, and Katie Bell when he was in first year.

𝑹𝑶𝑵

I honestly just see Ron as a normal hetero male. Honestly, there's nothing queer about him at all. But he is very supportive of his friends and family as well as the LGBTQIA+ community. He would always be at Pride with whoever asked him, and have anyone's back who needed it.

And the Weasley's are known for their red hair, so I think I would keep their heritage/ethnicity the same!

����𝑼𝑴𝑩𝑬𝑳𝑫𝑶𝑹𝑬

YES, THIS MAN IS A GAY MAN. But I feel as though he's very monogamous; he will love one person, even if they do not love him back, for the rest of his life. Like with Grindelwald, Dumbledore couldn't stop the feelings he had - even though the man was turning into a pretty evil one.

𝑺𝑵𝑨𝑷𝑬

His sexuality always confused him. Because he was in love with Lily, truly in love with her. But sometimes he found James attractive, and he hated himself for it.

Shows himself as straight, but I think he's bisexual or at least bi-curious.

I think for his ethnicity, it can be the same. Pasty white skin, black hair, hooked nose. Maybe his family distantly came from a Mediterranean island?

𝑫𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑶

Oh, I think keeping Draco white ... and maybe all the Death Eaters white would be saying a lot. They're basically Nazi's. So that wouldn't change.

Draco is most definitely bisexual. He was so in love with Harry, feigning it as hate. Knowing everything about him, staring at him from across the room. When he was younger, it was easier to see it as hate. But then when he turned 16, he felt a pang of desire for the Potter boy and the self-loathing began.

𝑮𝑬𝑶𝑹𝑮𝑬

Falls in love very easily, but usually with a woman. Not to say he's completely hetero, I think he would be bi-curious, but I think he wants a wife with a big family.

𝑭𝑹𝑬𝑫

I actually think Fred would be polyamorous. The kind where the girlfriend is allowed another boyfriend, not like Sisterwives. No, no. Fred would be totally cool with having a wife who has a boyfriend, and they all live together. Fred's a little fruity as well. I think he's one of those people that 'don't like to put a label on things.'

𝑺𝑰𝑹𝑰𝑼𝑺

Pansexual. Pansexual. Pansexual. Doesn't care if you're trans, he loves a person for who they are, what they believe in, rather than what their bits are. One of the reasons why he ran away from home. He hates tradition.

I think the Black family could be from Sicily, I know that's not necessarily POC, I think with their darker features, they would easily reign from there. And Sicilians are known for always distinguishing themselves from any other Mediterranean culture.

𝑹𝑬𝑴𝑼𝑺

He always thought of himself as straight. But that was until he met Sirius and he developed such a big crush on him. I think Remus would be Biromantic towards women but Bisexual towards men.

𝑪𝑯𝑶

WHY THE HELL DID ROWLING CALL AN ASIAN PERSON, "CHO CHANG," PUT THEM IN THE "SMARTEST HOUSE". It's racism. That's how I see it. She does this with many characters, and it's ridiculous.

Anyway, I have no problem with Asian representation. But what if Cho was Native American? (I know Rowling made that whole other school but it was really problematic so to me, it doesn't exist).

Or have Cho as Chinese (maybe give her a proper Chinese name), and we can have another main character...like Hermione, or Katie Bell as Native American. I just think it would be interesting to see an exchange student from another country as well.

𝑮𝑰𝑵𝑵𝒀

Lesbian. Poly lesbian. All those boys she went out with in Hogwarts were actually just beards. And she was having a secret relationship with another girl in her year. However, the polyamory doesn't come out until she's in her 20s.

𝑩𝑰𝑳𝑳

Polysexual; sexual or romantic attraction to people with varying genders. Polysexual orientations include bisexuality, pansexuality, omnisexuality, and queer, among many others. Basically, he can be attracted to anyone. But Fleur was the one who captured his heart fully and wholely.

𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑳𝑰𝑬

Asexual; I know he isn't in the movies (WHY?!) but he spends all his time with Dragons, and I think that will always be his main love and passion.

[pluto-supremacy]

Well firstly hello, i really like your writing it's amazing i have a request so it goes like this

Any Marauders or poly (whatever you are comfortable with) x ftm reader idk maybe coming out to them the fluff kinda hurt/comfort i really wanna see how tou would write them anything is okay with me thanks

Poly Marauders Fic: Our Tweety

➼ First thank you! I wasn't sure which marauders you wanted included, so I went with all four of them! Tbh now I feel like I need to make headcanons for each of the marauders, so if you guys want that lmk! I also went more of a fluff route than hurt/comfort, I hope that's okay!

➼ All the marauders are dating each other already but not the reader

➼ Just as a general aside: there is no one right way to dress, act, or feel as a trans person. In this fic the reader is described as a bit more as a 'stereotypical' trans person, just to try and make it easier to relate to. By no means do you need to have short hair, dress masculine, dislike certain parts of your body, etc., to be trans. All that matters is how you personally identify, how you feel in your own skin.

➼ No beta we die like Regulus

➼ Warnings: None! This turned out a lot longer than I first anticipated though-

Fanart is not mine! Credit goes to @upthehillart, go show her some love!

It was Saturday, a day that should have been restful. Instead James was banging pots and pans he got from Merlin-knows-where bright and early in the boy's dormitory. "Up and at-em! Quidditch practice! Wake up!" he rang out, a chorus of groans answering back as well as a pillow being chucked in his general direction. It landed on the floor in front of James, not doing any damage. Unfortunately. "Are you trying to wake the dead?" Remus groaned, pulling the covers up over his and Sirius' head. They had slept together last night while Peter had crawled into James' bed. Really what they needed to do was push their beds all together so that they wouldn't be crammed between two beds. Plus Peter squirmed a lot in his sleep so he'd stop falling off the bed in the middle of the night. Even if it was funny when that happened.

You were spared from the chaos in the boy's dormitory, the girl's dormitory was still nice and quiet. Everyone still asleep bar from you. Recently you had been reflecting a myriad of things. One being the fact that you liked four different guys at once. Four guys that were all dating each other. Well, four people technically, Sirius was genderfluid, though last time you asked he was currently going by he/they. Which was another thing. Sirius came out a few months ago and since then you had been thinking. He described it as never feeling always like a guy, sometimes he felt more feminine. Othertimes he felt, as he described it, 'in between', or that he didn't care, or neither. You didn't really think that was possible before.

Of course everyone in Gryffindor Tower was supportive. Or everyone for the most part, including you. Lily had made Sirius little bracelets with pronouns he could wear if he wanted, his boyfriends were of course happy that Sirius was comfortable enough to reveal that to them. All of that helped you come to the realization that you never really felt like a girl. You didn't like how your hair looked when it got super long, you wore baggier clothes to try and hide your chest, swapped out the usual uniform skirt for trousers, and showers? Those were hard. You hated looking down at your body most of the time and tried to get out of there as soon as possible. Sure every now and then you may have wanted to wear a dress or skirt, or something considered 'girly', but that didn't mean that you felt like a girl when wearing those things.

It was scary and confusing, trying to figure it out. Perhaps if you had talked it out with someone the realization would've came sooner or easier. Either way you ended up at the same conclusion. You were a guy, a man, a wizard. Not a girl, a woman, or a witch. It was almost freeing to figure that out. Or at least it would be if fear wasn't consuming the forefront of your mind.

That's why you were up so early while your classmates slept around you. You were trying to figure out what to do. You wanted to tell people, maybe even see if you could get switched to the boy's dormitory. But that fear was winning out. Despite how kind everyone was to Sirius when they came out, what if that same grace wasn't extended to you? What would people in other houses think? Professors? Would anyone even start calling you a guy? Would they use the new name you had decided on trying out? There were so many unknows, and the unknown was frightening.

Eventually you had spent enough time stewing in the dorms and moved down to the common room for a change of scenery and a nice fire. When you plopped down on the red velvet couch that's when the stampede from the boy's dorms came down. The first wave was excited second years in their quidditch jerseys, then the tired older quidditch players, then the marauders. James was as energetic as ever, Sirius not too terribly far behind him, Remus half asleep, and Peter practically sleepwalking. Remus was currently using his crutches, walking over and sitting down on the couch next to you. Peter followed suit and sat on the other side of you.

"One of James' early morning practices?" you asked already knowing the answer. Peter groaned in response, slumping against the pillows. Just like that he was back asleep. "Yes. I think he snuck into the kitchens to get our wake up call this morning" Remus mumbled, wiping the sleep out of his eyes. James just looked so proud of himself. He leaned over the couch and pressed a kiss to the top of Remus and Peter's heads before grabbing Sirius' hand. "We're off! Be back in a few hours. Keep Tweety company, will you?"

That damn nickname. You both loved and hated it. James nicknamed you 'Tweety Bird' after you discovered your patronus. A small yellow bird, a Hooded Warbler. "We will Prongs. Or at least I will. Petey is down for the count" Remus chuckled slightly, setting his crutches aside. With the crowd gone you had Remus' full attention. "You're up early. The pots and pans reach the girl's dormitory?" he asked, adjusting a few pillows on the couch to try and get comfortable. "No, just..thinking" real specific.

"About what?" was of course the next thing the werewolf asked. You were quiet for a while, Peter's soft snores the only thing filling the air. Remus patiently waited for an answer, a bit of concern in his eyes at the silence. After a moment he had to ask a follow up question. "Everything alright? Something bothering you? I'll listen if you want to talk. The other's don't need to know."

That broke down what resolve you had left. You didn't realize this but you had been getting worked up in that short amount of time, you face feeling a bit hot and hands shaking. "I'm a guy. I want to go by Y/N." you blurted out. There, it was out in the world now. No taking it back. You were staring down at your feet, trying to expect the worst. Remus let out a small hum then held his hand out. "Well Y/N, I'm Remus, pleased to make your acquaintance" he smiled. That earned a chuckle out of you ask you shook his hand, feeling a little better already. "You're..you're okay with it?"

He almost looked confused. "Well why wouldn't I be? You're my friend, Tweety. No matter your gender, orientation, what have you. And when you want to tell the others they'll have the exact same sentiments" he promised. Though that did mean that he needed to change a few things around for a surprise the four of them had planned. "Am I the first person you've told?" to which you responded with a nod. "Yeah, you're the first. And Peter if he can hear us in his little mini coma. I want to tell them after practice, then just..bring it up to everyone else when it comes up, I guess" it's not like you wanted to call a house-wide meeting about this.

"That makes sense. Sirius and James will likely be a while. James created a new training routine he's trying out. Ever since Slytherin won the cup last year he hasn't eased up. I think if we lose again his head might explode" it was an outrage in the tower after Slytherin won. James and Sirius lead that outrage. Remus as the announcer swore up a storm over the microphone. House points were certainly deducted that day. "All I'm hearing is that the newbies on the team are going to be regretting joining the team" you chuckled. There was a reason why you didn't join the team, and it was James' rigorous training schedule.

For the next two hours you and Remus hung out on the couch, Peter waking up around halfway through. When you first told him the big news he simply blinked at you a few times and went "Huh?" He didn't mean anything by it, poor man had just woken up from a deep sleep. Once he was more awake and could process what you said he was of course happy for you, pulling both you and Remus in for a hug to celebrate. Around breakfast time, the quidditch team came up. As you expected all the first-year players looked miserable. Really everyone did as they marched back up the stairs to lay down. Even Sirius looked bushed. James was the only one still smiling and bouncing with energy. How he did it, no one really knew.

"Moony! Moony our boyfriend killed me! I think I need some mouth to mouth to be saved" He exclaimed, dramatically draping over both the couch and Remus. The wizard rolled his eyes and lightly nudged Sirius. "I think you'll be fine. You sign up for this torture year after year." "What can I say? I'm a masochist" he said with a cheeky grin. James sat down between you and Peter, brushing some hair out of his eyes. "My training isn't that bad! Everyone else is just being dramatic. If you think that's bad just wait til our practice after dinner" that was followed by a groan and loud complaining from all. "Speaking of dramatics, can you two spare them for a moment so I can tell you something?"

For once both Sirius and James were quiet, their attention fully on you. Remus gave you a small nod of encouragement, gesturing for you to take a deep breath. You did so and looked between Sirius and James. "I'm trans. I want to start going by Y/N, he/him." it was a lot easier to say now that it was the third time and yu had already gotten two amazing reactions. Sirius and James didn't dissapoint. Both were smiling brightly and suddenly you were being tackled in a hug by both of them, Peter throwing himself on top of the dog pile and dragging Remus along with him.

"Mate that's bloody amazing!" James chuckled out happily "One of us! One of us!" Sirius playfully chanted, poking your arm. "Does that mean I can get first dibs on all your old skirts and dresses?"

That was all a week ago. Sirius had helped you pick out new clothes on a trip to Hogsmeade while James insisted on picking up the tab. Peter had accompanied you to each of your classes to help you explaim to your professors about your name and pronoun change. Meanwhile Remus had been hard at work in the headmaster's office to get a few things changed around.

Today was the day of that big change. One you had no idea of. James simply told you to meet him in the common room. Then a blindfold was covering your eyes. "James if you lead me to the window and push-" "I would never! How dare you even suggest such a thing!" he gasped in mock offense. "No no! We just have a big surprise planned and you don't get a sneak peak. Stairs, stairs" he warned, helping you up a rather large flight of stairs. But what stairs? You two were just in the common room, the only two staircases were to the dormitories. Even then the girl's staircase was enchanted so that no boys could walk up them. So then-

Suddenly the blindfold was off before you could even complete that thought. You were now in the boy's dormitory, all of your things on the bed in front of you. Bedding, clothes, posters, school supplies, everything. All of the marauders were standing around with big smiles on their faces, though Peter seemed a bit nervous, his cheeks a light pink color. "I talked with Dumbledore and arranged for you to be moved to the boy's dormitory. We had Lily get your things. Though we can move it all back, if you don't want-" "I love it!" You interrupted, rushing to hug all four of them. "Thank you guys, seriously. I was nervous about asking myself"

"Of course Tweety. Though there is something else" Sirius said as he pulled away from the embrace. James looked excited, Peter was now clinging onto Remus. The energy had seemed to shift a bit, in what way you couldn't tell. "Well what else is there? You guys giving e money or something?" you teased with a small smile. That made Sirius chuckle, shaking his head. "No, no. We were all actually wondering..if you wanted to join the polycule?" he asked, giving you a hopeful look. "We all like you, we have for a while but didn't really know how to ask you" James added on. "We were afraid we'd scare you off, y'know, four people fancying you. I know it's a lot" Remus spoke up.

How two amazing things happened in one day, you have no clue. The four people you had felt guilty about liking all liked you back. Merlin if this was a dream you didn't want to wake up. For a moment you forgot to even respond, a bit of panic settling in on their faces. "Oh! Ah yes! Yes sorry, sorry I forgot to even say it out loud." you laughed, smiling from ear to ear. James was the first to tackle you into a hug onto his bed. Well, more accurately, his, Remus', and Peter's beds. They had gone through with their plan of pushing the beds together and just hadn't done Sirius' yet. The other three were quick to follow, all smiling and forming a pile on the beds.

"Bloody hell I thought you were going to say know at first-" Peter chuckled out, resting his head on Sirius' chest right next to Remus. "No! No. I've liked you all for a while, I just..I just didn't think you felt the same way." "Well we do, so clear your schedule Tweety. We'll get all your stuff put away today..after a nap." James declared, struggling to pull enough blankets over everyone. And how could you say no to that? You settled into your place in the cuddle pile, closing your eyes and wrapping your arms around James. James did the same for you, reaching one arm a bit further to also be touching Sirius. Sirius had Remus basically laying on top of him and Peter curled up in his side. That's how you all settled in for a rather long nap, and you hadn't been this happy in years.

[velvetvexations]

It seems appealing, but until I was gifted a Steamdeck recently I couldn't play it and it's still quite expensive. Generally though I do prefer FPSs.

lmao right

1) A few people get called out for genuinely, undeniably heinous behavior, with receipts showing exactly what they're purported to show, loud and clear. Maybe they molested kids, maybe they started a cult, maybe it turned out that all their social justice talk was a smokescreen for hate recruiting, maybe they'd been catfishing for clout and profit, maybe they'd been trawling the site the callout is on for people to scam and abuse, maybe it's even more than one of the above. Whatever it is, it's unequivocally bad and SOMETHING has to be done and the systems at hand have sweet fuckall TO do about it, so a warning to the community it is! 1.5) People are primed to believe, when they see a callout post, that yes, what this person did was AWFUL. 2) People seeing that this works - and often genuinely but incorrectly believing that they have another equally bad case on their hands - start posting callouts about shit like friend drama (that wasn't a fight, it was ABUSE) or media taste (I heard he watched Dragon Maid, PEDO ALERT!!!) or consensual kinks (can you BELIEVE she misgendered another girl who asked her to??? Disgusting!). Most but not all of these target marginalized people, because of course it's easier to make a mountain of a molehill when people have a preexisting bias to believe it's a mountain (though contrary to popular current belief, it's usually not one specific group in particular). 3) People start fighting over the utility of callouts - some people believe these bits of nonevidence are TOTALLY proof of wrongdoing, others start to get alarm fatigued because surprise surprise, it's WAY harder to find people who are actually stealing and selling human bones, or lying about being HIV+ sex trafficking survivors for discourse cred, or starting entire cult houses, than it is to find...people who aren't perfect friends 100% of the time, or who like media that squicks you out; a few people still manage to fall somewhere in between. 4) Callouts fall off in frequency until someone does something SO heinous as to return us to step 1. I feel like we're kinda between steps 3 and 4 here, as a site at large - which, ironically, makes me all that much more suspicious when someone highlights a specific group as being the ONLY one targeted and harmed by fake callouts.

Eyyup.

Also, even callout posts that have legitimate grievances tend to do the Wendigoon thing where it's frontloaded with ridiculous bullshit before it gets to "also, this person murdered twelve women from 1999 to 2004." Like, why did I hear about how Vivziepop using voodoo aesthetic risked her staff being haunted to death by spirits before I heard she thinks non-binary people are faking being trans for attention?

I went into a restaurant to order some takeout while Original Mall Anon waited in the car, and when I went to get our sodas, there were these three preppy girls just...congregating there, taking up the space long after they'd finished getting their own, blocking anyone else from getting their drinks without asking them to move and, I shit you not, talking about buying shit from Hollister. Half of me, in the present, was like "okay. They're younger than me. I shouldn't be MEAN. This is a minor rudeness, I don't need to make a whole Thing of it." Half of me was violently removed from my body and de-aged to 15 because what the fuck, I was standing there, dark clothes, dyed hair, Hot Topic bag in hand, being treated like an annoying nonentity by a bunch of preppy girls who were acting like they fuckin owned the place, that was something I thought wasn't supposed to HAPPEN outside of high school and yet here I was, uh, catching up on missed experiences to a level I REALLY didn't expect to happen at a Wingstop.

God how I want some Wingstop. I love every part of this, anon. Perhaps your mall is truly unteathered from time and space.

It's completely mindless harassment without any real point and if they show up on one of your posts you should report them.

Hell yes.

Well, that's fucking stupid.

[doodlegraveyard]

3/5 specialist designs (riven and sky can be a set because they’re both pissing me off)

[Image description: Specialist redesigns. The Red Fountain uniform is restyled as something like a cross between a fencing uniform and futuristic flight suit, a white and grey cropped military jacket with high boots and gloves with pointed, dragon-like flairs. A red crest in the shape of a dragon is over their heart. All the Specialists wear the uniform a little differently: Tim, slim with shaggy brown hair, wears his jacket open, as it’s a bit too large; his weapon is styled as a laser crossbow rifle. Brandon, broad and confident, wears some additional armor and heavy duty gloves, wielding his oversized halberd phantoblade. Helia wears a monk-like red sash draped over her shoulder, with three pleats signifying she is their upperclassmen; her hair is pulled up with a pin in the shape of a dragon’s head. End description.]

long winded mess of thoughts under the cut

my rage and confusion @ why the red fountain uniforms are BLUE...(didnt make them all-red bc i know the paladins who show up later are also red... anyway i like the white) i also got rid of their unnecessary color coding and just let each boy wear the uniform a little differently. There are red capes for the standard uniform most students just don’t wear them on missions for practicality’s sake.  I was trying to balance sci fi and fantasy and im really partial to it tbh.

Red fountain thoughts: there are courses for Specialists and sorcerers, but the sorcerer core is much smaller, exclusive and specialized and is mostly for older students/basically the equivalent of extended education (all the sorcerers at red fountain have to go thru basic specialist/combat training, its one of the things that are specific to this ‘order’ of sorcerer.) In my quest to differentiate witches/fairies/the male magic users (i’m using ‘sorcerer’ over wizard bc i like it better that's all) i decided that sorcerers have an almost dnd cleric/warlock pact with a Magic Entity who they draw power from. This power can be revoked hence theres developed an almost a monk or knight-like code of honor and ethics in most larger sorcerers orders. In the case of Red Fountain they are, of course, Dragon sorcerers. I’m making Dragons a bit rarer and more revered (what with them being associated with basically the creator deity of this world) so those skinny things the specialists ride are....draconic animals but not Dragons. i’ll call them drakes or make them wyverns maybe?

Anyway the RF Sorcerers all swear fealty to The Dragon of Red Fountain who i imagine is mostly dormant in a secret treasure room lair at the center of their school-fortress. MAYBE this is where Helia was for that hot second where she ‘dropped out’ of being a specialist (YET HELIA IS A SPECIALIST AGAIN LATER WITH NO EXPLANATION......i want the show to know theres a difference between ‘ougjhgutj mysterious’ and ‘literally we know nothing about what this person has going on’)

Also. I made Helia a girl. I know he’s already a bishonen but i wanted to co-ed-ify both RF and Alfea and while background male faries works i REALLY wanted an on screen female specialist. Figured it was easier to just trans one of the existing known characters than ingratiate ppl to a new one and tbh helia is the one this affects least. if anything it makes her more interesting. also that agonizingly shy non-courtship between helia and flora where they like barely talked but are obsessed w each other IS lesbian behavior.

Helia in my version has a Reason to be there, which is, ‘this underclassmen squad is STILL not meshing and they keep Causing Problems, also maybe one of them is under watch bc he mutinied/got mind controlled, here is an upperclassman to be In Charge. She then proceeds to NOT be helpful in solving their problems.

Bran’s weapon got switched out. a polearm feels appropriate for a royal guard while also feeling Stately enough to lend to him making a convincing fake prince? he’s definitely the tanky guy here

I love Timmys little mullet. I feel like he’s from a colony planet for some reason. some backwater moon, smartest guy in town who got into a really prestigious school, u know? Also I am a “Timmy is the leader” truther

[nothorses]

hi! u can ignore this of course but I’ve just decided i’m trans again (long journey) and I had some questions and idk who to ask!!! again you can totally ignore this if you want!!! like i literally rediscovered i might (probably am) a trans guy last night and i’m sort of freaking out as for now. when i first thought i was trans i didn’t really like myself so this was easier but now i do and it’s sort of a totally different experience than what i was used to.

A big worry is, I like my face. like, I really like it and really care about being pretty and I don’t dislike myself generally just think i’d make more sense as a guy and that I’d be happier like that. i’d like to look a bit more masculine but just enough to look like a really pretty guy instead of a woman. can i still be trans or like should i look into my feelings being about something else ? and is there any chance i could achieve what i want with my face while still taking T (I really want the fat redistribution)? I’m also absolutely terrified about losing my hair and i’d heard it depends on my father? but i took the hair gene from mom? i don’t know.

I’m also really worried about dating? I’m bisexual but I’ll probably just date men (i like masc women but have never really met any that aren’t lesbians). I’m not mourning being able to be with straight men bc i’ve really always avoided them (no shade i just never could stand the thought of dating them which is actually one of the reasons i figured out i was probably not comfortable being a girl). Still I’m worried that queer guys won’t look at me twice?

I’m also going to be in a new, big city in september and should i just start by telling people i’m a guy? since i’m long-haired and don’t plan on changing that and i definitely won’t be on hormones or anything by then, I certainly will not be passing. I can do some voice training but I’m not sure to what degree that will help. I’m thin and have no curves that can be seen through most clothes so i don’t think that when clothed anything will be just outright obvious but i think if i speak to people it will definitely be obvious. should i specify i’m trans or just introduce myself with my very obvious male name and give no more explanation? I’m also autistic and was already terrified of never making friends (i have a good group now and tbh there’s no chance they’re going to be cool about this and i’m already mourning them lmao) and now the fear is worse.

If I had to weigh pros and cons i’d definitely say there are no pros to this thing that i’m thinking of doing, but i can’t imagine any future as a woman, (maybe not really as a man either but if i had to choose). I have trouble imagining myself with a straight man or in a wedding dress at this point or things like that, and there’s just been this disconnect lately. i like myself when i look in the mirror but maybe i’m just excited about being conventionally attractive. Still when I imagine myself it’s a flat-chested person. I’ve also been fighting for my life to not be trans so that might mean something. I’m afraid on wasting another two years on thinking i’m trans when i’m not, but the more i’ve grown comfortable and comfortable with myself the more i realized i couldn’t relate to women. Now that I’ve figured out i’m wondering about how to get through the summer w people that don’t know me and wearing a certain kind of clothes. I’m so worried.

Sorry for the vent or whatever this is. you can ignore and i do realize i sound absolutely crazy i’m just freaking out atm.

First off- congratulations on the gender journey! I know how hard it can be to go through something like this, but coming to understand yourself better is such a wonderful, rewarding, relieving experience, and I'm so glad you're taking steps towards what feels good for you.

And second- it's normal for that to be scary, too. It's normal to feel some fear and hesitation when you start to unravel who you are, and what that might mean. You're not alone!

It sounds like you might be feeling some time pressure around this, and my first piece of advice is that if you are feeling like there's a deadline and you need to rush to a conclusion or action before then, that's a really good sign that you need to take a step back, slow down, and breathe. It's normal to feel some urgency with this sort of thing, but ask yourself where that's coming from. It's one thing to want to "stop wasting time" because you know what you want & you don't want to keep waiting for it, but it's another entirely to feel like you have to make a decision to meet some kind of arbitrary deadline.

If you aren't sure what you want but you feel pressured to make a decision anyway, you should slow down. If that deadline is being imposed by some external force, ask yourself what it might look like (and feel like) to slow down and miss that deadline anyways. I really love the phrase "slow down to speed up": most of the time, trying to rush something causes complications and missteps that make the whole thing take a lot longer than if you'd just slowed down and done it right in the first place! If you're not ready, you're not ready. Let yourself be ready at your own pace.

That aside, I'll try to answer your other questions:

"can i still be trans or like should i look into my feelings being about something else?"

You can do whatever you want forever! There's no benchmark you need to meet in order to be trans, and nobody else can tell you if you're trans or not. Honestly, I recommend setting that whole label aside for a while, if you feel bogged down by this kind of question. Who cares if you "count" as trans or not? What matters is what you want, who you want to be, and what feels good to you. Labels should be used to describe what you already know about yourself, not the other way around.

Lots of trans people want the exact same thing you've expressed here, so you wouldn't be alone! And some cis people want that, too.

"is there any chance i could achieve what i want with my face while still taking T (I really want the fat redistribution)?"

Yes, there's a chance! How T impacts you is super dependent on genetics, so you may end up looking the way you want to... and you might not! I also personally found that what I wanted from T actually changed after I went on it; I ended up loving a lot of the changes that I thought I wouldn't like so much. Ultimately, my decision to go on T was mostly based around the knowledge that I was not happy with my body as it was, I did want a lot of the effects of T, and I decided I would be happier rolling the dice and trading off what I didn't like then for what I might not like later. I also decided that I could go off T at any time if I decided that I didn't want those changes anymore, and that I would be making the decision to be on T each time I took it, rather than once and forever.

"I’m also absolutely terrified about losing my hair and i’d heard it depends on my father? but i took the hair gene from mom?"

Male pattern baldness (MPB) comes through the X chromosome. If you have XY chromosomes (like most people who are AMAB), you inherit one X chromosome from your mother, and one Y chromosome from your father. If you have XX chromosomes (like most people who are AFAB), you get one X chromosome from each parent, so you can inherit MPB from either parent.

MPB is also treatable; if your hair starts to thin an abnormal amount, or if you're just worried about it (or have MPB on both sides of your family) you can ask your doctor about treatment options. There are topical options as well as oral medications, and while I have heard it's much harder to reverse, it's actually fairly easy to prevent.

"I’m worried that queer guys won’t look at me twice"

My boyfriend is a cis queer man... many such cases. Queer guys will absolutely look at you twice. Some will look at you thrice. Many will look at you twice entirely because you are trans, and some of those will be doing so because trans people are hot and they see us as people (and not just sex objects for their own benefit).

Also, I really recommend basing your transition on your personal happiness with your body and self first; if the people around you can't be happy for you, they genuinely are not worth keeping around. People who care about you in a real and healthy way will be happy for your happiness!

I'm so serious about this, anon. My dad changed his whole opinion on trans people when I came out because he a) did not want to lose me, and b) saw that it made me happy. The man was conservative (and maybe still is...?), but he cares about me enough that he reconsidered his whole worldview for me. You deserve that kind of love. Everyone does.

"I’m also going to be in a new, big city in september and should i just start by telling people i’m a guy?"

I like your idea of just telling folks you're a guy with no further explanation! This also really depends on where you're going, if you think you'll be safe in doing this, how long you'll be there, if you'll be starting T/expect to see changes.... etc. If you were, for example, going to Seattle for a few months and wanted to try the "guy" hat on for a bit just to see how it feels, I'd say go for it! If you feel like you'll be reasonably safe and you think this is the way you'll want to continue to be perceived for some time, that would also probably be a solid choice. But it's context-dependent, and I think you might need to feel it out for yourself and ask some folks with more context!

I also want to challenge the "girl/guy" binary I think I'm reading in your ask: you don't have to choose one or the other! Nonbinary people exist, and there is such an incredible range of experiences and genders outside of the male/female binary. So many people relate to so many of them, in so many different ways! Infinite gender experiences! If you feel comfortable as a man, that's awesome; if you feel like you might be something else entirely, or both, or one of them and some other stuff, that's also great! If this is all new to you, please take some time to learn more about nonbinary genders & experiences from nonbinary people. I promise it's more than worth it.

You are not alone, there are so many people who will love you for whoever you are, and good luck!

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey Cas 👋

Bit of a strange ask here, I suppose, and it's late so I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense (feel free not to reply, especially if I accidentally touch on topics you don't want to talk about). A bit of context for my situation: I'm currently presenting as a girl, my birth gender - but recently, the last year or so, and especially the last few months when ive sort of admitted it to myself, I really have started to think I'm probably not cis. I definitely feel like a girl sometimes, but other times, I can't think of anything worse than being a girl and it feels all wrong. This has led me to believe I'm probably genderfluid (or possibly trans, but I'm really not ready to admit that to even myself yet). I quite like using he/they pronouns, which I sometimes use in online spaces. However, my main question comes because I'm moving to a city an hour away from where I live right now, at the end of this year. I'm going to be starting a new school, have new friends, join new clubs etc. And while I'll still be seeing family/good friends from where I live now, I feel like it would be a lot easier for me to just start anew with a changed identity. But I'm really not confident in my identity yet - I can barely admit it to myself without massive amounts of doubt, and can't think of myself in situations where people don't see me as a girl. My parents would support me - but they'd definitely roll their eyes a bit, and be somewhat of 'it's a phase' or 'not my child' I think?? And I know a lot of my current friends, who honestly im not really that close to, won't get it and will probably abandon me for being too 'weird'. Luckily I do have a best friend that I believe will stick by me.

Sorry, I got a little side-tracked, but basically, my question is; would it be worth it? I know it'd be hard, and I know my family and friends perception of me would change, and maybe not for the better, and im worried to come out as an identity but then realise im actually not that and prove them right in thinking it was just a phase. Sorry for the long ask, but any advice or insight you could give would be much appreciated. <3

Hi love!

Okay, a few questions:

is it SAFE for you to present as your identity? Safety first!

Mentally, can you handle the reactions that might happen if you were to come out? You say perceptions might change for the worse- is that okay with you?

I think for some people, negative reactions aren't a big deal. It's like- fuck you if you don't accept me, you know? But for others, especially people who are still young and who are minors, negative reactions can be super detrimental. It's YOUR decision what is the best for you.

Remember, YOU are the person who knows you best. You know what you need and what is important to you. You also deserve to put your needs first. What do you think is best for you?

Naming you pancakes anon (we're going with random names)

[prettybearbutch]

Hi im a trans guy and i Really would like to know where u got ur strap and harness !!! the video of you jacking off is so hot and it's also like. super interesting to see someone cum like that if that makes sense??? like having such an intense mind-body link like that is really unique to watch and i Really want to see what it would feel like myself!!

Hey for sure!

Dr. Lucas Dildo ($29 USD) - it's on the smaller/slimmer side (which I intentionally wanted to use on myself) but it's honestly really realistic, especially for the price point. It's soft to the touch and slightly bendable, and works really well with:

Sliquid H2O ($8 USD) Water based lube, a little goes a long way. You'll feel weird jacking off a dry silicone dick- lube it up and it'll help you get into it.

Rodeoh Brief+ Harness ($40-$50 USD depending on style, they also have frequent sales) - I have a Rodeoh boxer brief harness too, but I prefer the briefs for control- it sits the dildo more firmly on your body and you can also adjust it a bit easier to really sit right over your bio dick/clit. I find that the underwear style harnesses like these help me mentally connect the dick as 'mine' better than the typical strap harnesses, bc I'm just feeling the briefs, not straps.

As far as that mind-body link- it always feels a little silly at first for me, but the lines start to blur really fast once I get started. When I spread the lube around my cock and start stroking, the strap takes on some of the heat from my hand. When I tug/stroke down in certain ways, it puts pressure on what's underneath the strap. It sometimes helps me to watch/listen to JOI porn... I'm also a huge sucker for porn of ppl fucking a fleshlight (especially a clear one). Jerking off a strap feels more 'real' when I'm watching/listening to masturbation stuff, vs watching ppl fuck, personally. Play around with positions, too- you don't have to be laying down. Stroke yourself off standing up, holding yourself up against a wall. Or maybe you're on your hands and knees, fucking into your hand. Have fun with it!

[elifinchsart]

some Tillman and Mike gender headcannons/thoughts since i have them mostly coherently typed up and they are important To Me. these are not Universal Trans Experiences just my thoughts for these characters cw for discussing transphobia, dysphoria, fatphobia & bad parents

I think Tillman absolutely did not figure out he was trans until like his early twenties. My headcannon about his mom Harmony (Crab NPC from Discipline Era), her whole thing is control + image. (This led Tillman to also feel like he needs to be in control of his image but, unfortunately it’s easier to control a bad image than a good one)

But part of Harmony's image control was appearing as a perfect rich family so Tillman was expected to dress and behave very femininely. And his thought process went “I hate wearing dresses and getting dressed up like this and I don’t know why I hate it so much. It must be because something is wrong with me and it must be because I’m ugly” + that got mixed in with his weight because I think he’s just naturally chubby/fat. So that was one of those things that’s dysphoria that you don’t realize that’s dysphoria until later. Tillman absolutely he had the trans experience of I’m going to only wear baggy hoodies and beanies lol. Anyway this all manifested into him having a very antagonistic relationship with his body and food (esp bc Harmony is v the passive aggressive “Oh you’re eating/wearing that?” sort of parent. This is also part of the reason he was nasty as a teen/young adult because he was in a lot of pain that he didn’t realize was pain-just that everything was uncomfortable and pissed him off. Figuring out that he was trans, getting top surgery and going on hrt actually helped mellow him out a lot. Being able to just Exist in his body without dressing it up to impress anyone else helped him so so much.

I think Mike was also very helpful in getting him to a better place with his body and especially food as something that should be enjoyed not rationed out or brings misery. Mike loves to make food for people so they had a bit of a roadbump when they first started dating and Tillman refused to eat much of Mike made and they had to talk about it. Mike was very patient and not pushy for once and let Tillman come around on his own. Mike also hyping Tillman up as the hottest man ever helped too LOL. I think Tillman had a lot of apprehension about transitioning wrt still being desirable which is something I’ve def felt and I know other trans men have too

I think Mike had a lot of gender emotions growing up but they never fully formed into anything understandable for him because he was like “well I’m not not a man” and he didn’t really have access to like Knowing About “Weird” Gender Identities despite knowing a trans person (Jaylen) and she only ever had Jaylen to compare to and they have very different genders haha. And then I think in college and after she kinda was like well y’know men can be feminine, men can wear dresses, it doesn’t have to be a gender thing so I’m not going to think about it too hard. I think also she had this idea that maybe she was faking it or not trans enough or people would think he was doing it for attention or to seem punk. Also incredibly stupid logic but I think she was like “I don't want to look like I'm just copying Jaylen” which is a silly thing to worry about but nevertheless. And then Blaseball happens and again he doesn’t really have time to think about it. So its only post shadowing and in therapy that she finally talks to more trans and nonbinary folks about their experiences and starts to approach it from a “what makes me happiest” pov rather than “well I'm not miserable” pov because its a very Mike thing to try to avoid being too happy as a coping mechanism. And because of all this she gets to experiment and decides he likes having a lot of gender especially if it contradicts each other (she/her pronouns on masc days, he/him while dressed femme, beard + dress etc.)

[vulturereyy]

Lurimol time baybeee!!! How do Lurien and Hegemol deal with the beetle breeding season, where stag beetles are essentially filled with the 'I must flip others at all costs' instinct? Ik Heg is a big softie, but if Lurien uses damselfly courting methods, I wonder how Heg might show off how big beetles show they're prime stock

Lurimol time !!! Thank you.... This one got a bit away from me eheheh so I'm sorry it's a bit long.

Hegemol is the biggest softie and is also the world's most repressed idiot, a deadly combination ashtrh. He's very, very happy and truly honored that Lurien invites him to learn damselfly dances, but... hoogh. He was able to repress the urges before and just keep himself rather set away from others when it was Time To Fling, but now that he has an actual person of his desires, and a 'potential partner' he wants to show off to... that's getting a little harder.

He may start trying to invite Lurien to come watch him spar with his other knights, who are all partially confused when The Watcher shows up and just. Does as he does (watches). But when hegemol flips Ogrim, something he really doesn't do, I think it would finally click for Ogrim what's happening as the other beetle in the group ashffh. [SpongeBobgrin.png "You like Lurien, don't you Hegemol.]

I think this would culminate in Hegemol entering and inviting Lurien to a knightly tournament that's being held for the masses, something he's explicitly expressed disinterest in before ("Ah, I'm too old for those games" or "I've no need to win adoration" etc). And coupled with a poster of a beetle hunk as part of the advertising it finally FINALLY clicks for Lurien what is Happening.

And Lurien bless his heart tries to. Help? By saying "You don't need to win my affections this way, you know. I don't even have a preference for strength." Which is intended well but makes Hegemol [deflating balloon noises] internally because sorry Lurien his mind is still in flinging mode and takes that to mean he's not the strongest and may in fact be a pity pick.

Anyway Aedmond the butler comes to the rescue that night while making Lurien his tea and explain that he just accidentally turned down Hegemol's courtship advances, and that the *ritual* of it all is very important. And Lurien's single braincell devoted to social things is like OH.................. thank you Aedmond this is why I hired you above all others.

So he still goes to the tourney and Hegemol immediately perks up upon seeing him from the ring like a goddamn golden retriever of a man and starts fuckin beetle brawling with the utmost intensity. And with every fling he glances up at Lurien in his secluded box seat (with Aedmond) and Lurien makes sure to always appear leaning forward maybe with a hand on his heart or something akin to a taken aback swoon, even if he wouldn't normally.

Hegemol ends up getting into the final match against his own first squire, Gytha, who is my huge Trans Hercules Beetle and she's definitely here to get some bitches. She and Hegemol normally brawl whenever they see each other, it's their tradition, but *normally* Gytha wins. She's younger, more spry, and as his squire knows a lot of his weak points as he's the one that trained her, and she's since developed her own fighting style and methods once she was knighted. She also has the huge Hercules Beetle horns that make it easier for her to grab and fling even huge bugs like Heg. (She is also, notably, the only non-enemy bug Hegemol will ever use his full strength against, because he knows she can take it.)

Their match may even go longer than the preliminaries because when Hegemol actually cares about what losing means (it means nothing to Lurien but yknow, Fling Brain in full swing here), he doesn't just give up on the first grab from Gytha. He squeezes his hands into her horns right before she flips him and wrenches them off of him, he traps her neck between his horns in a move that she's barely able to get out of, all sorts of shit that has the crowd going wild and Lurien now *fully* invested because I don't think he's ever seen Hegemol really display his strength like this. And Aedmond sits there like :> (sipping his drink) because oops my lord has actually fallen for the beetle courtship for real. What a shame, what a shame.

Gytha and Hegemol get to the point where they're both shaking from exhaustion after such a long bout, she can't even heft him to fling if she wanted to, and she's also caught on by the fact that her old mentor keeps looking up at *something* that he, for once, has a stake in this. She goes in for a misplaced grab that she knows will be met with resistance and all but helps to throw her weight into the hurl as Hegemol uses the last of his strength to send her skidding on her back toward the edge of the ring. She'd never tell him she did that on purpose, but also in her mind it's better to have helped her old man get some than to admit she was defeated for real (which she would have been and she knows it).

Crowd goes fucking wild, Lurien finally lets out that breath he's been holding, Aedmon sips his tea and hands Lurien a fan, Hegemol is named this year's beetle brawl champion. And all is well.

He does get a few days off after that because grandpa definitely pushed himself too far but hooogh he's the happiest bug in the world.

And after that, he doesn't super get the urge to join the brawl again once Lurien and he are rather committed to each other. He does still get cycles, but the desire to "prove himself" as a mate fades significantly. He may still toss Ogrim if Lurien happens to be watching, but he's content to know he 'won' his spot at Lurien's side.