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sundrop-writes · 4 months

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Lessons For A Genius - Lesson Two

Sub!Spencer Reid x Dom!Fem!Reader

Lesson Two: Magic Metacarpals

(aka the one where Spencer learns how to finger you)

Summary:

After his first 'lesson', Spencer is even more eager to learn from you.

And while both of you are ignoring your growing yearning for something more, you teach him the next logical thing: how to pleasure you in return.

Sub!Spencer Reid x (BAU)Dom!Fem!Reader. (Pining) Friends with Benefits. Smut. Set during early Season 2.

Word Count: 26,300

Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link

THIS IS A RE-POST. This is a fic from my old blog (a blog that was shadowbanned, forcing me to move). This fic is not stolen, it is completely mine, and I am just re-posting it to help people find my new blog, and to make my masterlist complete when I post new fics for this fandom.

Detailed warnings and author’s notes below the cut.

Warnings: General themes for a CM episode - murder/killing/mentions of gun violence/mentions of women being murdered and sexually assaulted/mentions of strangling; once again, there is a mention of a case that isn’t in the canon (one that I have made up) and this fic is not case-centric; the reader is held in a choke-hold by the killer and uses dark humour to get out of it; the reader uses she/her pronouns and has a vagina; mentions of the reader wearing a dress/very girly outfit; the reader is heavily implied to be plus-sized;mentions of the reader being older than Spencer, but there is no specific mention of how much the age difference is/number of years (tbh the way I am playing it, it could be months, a year, or years of difference because they make jokes about it) (because this takes place in early S2, Spencer would be 24/25, so if you’re younger than that, just imagine? lmao); the team being very nosy about Spencer and the reader’s sex life and the reader lying about it in order to spare Spencer because he’s shy (not because she’s embarrassed of him); heavily implications of Morcia as a background couple; mentions of drinking/drunkenness (does not take place in this fic, it’s just mentioned in passing); mentions of Spencer being bullied as a child.

General sexual themes; ongoing dom/sub relationship - Spencer is submissive and the reader is dominant; a safeword is in place but it’s not used; Spencer is generally inexperienced and the reader is 'teaching’ him things about sex, including slang, kinks, sexual technique, and the emotional consequences of sex, generally helping him explore his sexual side; mentions of using sex toys (a fleshlight, passing mentions of dildos, including a tentacle dildo that is not used); mentions of Spencer masturbating independently from scenes/playtime with the reader (these scenes are not detailed); descriptions of subspace; descriptions of Spencer having a subdrop/bad subspace experience because he masturbates without the reader there (this is a very brief part of the fic and all other moments of subspace are described pleasantly); the word 'MILF’ is used to describe the reader - as a joke, and because Spencer doesn’t fully understand the context.

The actual smutty meat of the fic (aka girl dinner) consists of: panty kink - Spencer wears a pair of lacy panties under his clothes while in public because it turns the reader on; praise kink - Spencer loves being praised; public/semi-public 'sex’ (they don’t have full-blown sex, it’s just groping through clothing, and they are in a secluded area of a public place when it happens); risk of getting caught; strength kink - the reader exerts her strength over Spencer and he likes it; heated making out; hair pulling (Spencer receiving); groping through clothes (reader and Spencer receiving); Spencer cums in his pants while being groped; clothes sharing - Spencer wears the reader’s clothes; the reader calls Spencer honey, sweetie, baby, pretty boy, good boy; Spencer calls the reader Miss; this fic does feature Mommy kink - Spencer starts calling the reader Mommy partway through; mentions of the reader wearing traditionally feminine lingerie; hand kink - the reader likes Spencer’s hands; finger sucking (the reader sucks on Spencer’s fingers); vaginal fingering/clitoral stimulation - the reader teaches Spencer how to finger her; Spencer edges the reader unintentionally; guided masturbation - Spencer masturbates for the reader; Spencer cums on the reader (by accident?); the reader licks some of Spencer’s cum; mentions of pregnancy (Spencer likes the idea of getting the reader pregnant, but she is on birth control so it won’t happen in this fic lmao); some mentions of aftercare (not as in depth as the previous fic); and I believe that’s it.

A/N: I do intend for each part of this to possibly be read as a oneshot, so you don’t have to read Lesson One in order for this to make sense narratively. But if you want more sub!Spencer stuff, then you should go back and read Lesson One just for your enjoyment. This makes reference to things that have happened in the first part, but you won’t be utterly confused if you jump into reading this without reading the other one first. Anyway, I do hope you enjoy it, if you're reading this for the first time or re-reading it.

...

When you woke up the next morning, you had almost forgotten about what had happened.

You were drowsy, your body almost entirely sunken into the soft bed. If not for the ripe scent of coffee drifting through the air and undertone of something uniquely masculine stuck to the pillow - Spencer’s aftershave - then you likely would have thought that you were comfortable in your own apartment and simply turned over to go back to sleep.

But then it all came flooding back to you.

The Chinese take-out date, gifting Spencer the fleshlight - tying him to the chair in order to ‘help’ him use it. His moans, the sweet way he had looked up at you with those big eyes. The way he had called you ‘Miss’ with such utterly beautiful desperation, how perfect he had looked covered in his own cum.

You sighed with delight as you remembered it all, a gentle tingle coming over your body as you thought about it.

It was then that you realized what the pungent smell of coffee meant: Spencer must have been brewing a pot. You had no clue what time it was or when you had to be ready for work - but coffee sounded fucking amazing after the eventful night the two of you had.

You were surprised that Spencer wasn’t still in bed, cuddled up to you.

He had spent the whole night clinging to your back like a koala in the most endearing way. You had no clue how a man so large could make himself seem so small at times, but he definitely accomplished that by hooking his leg around your hip and whining whenever you tried to pull away from him even a slight bit.

(You hated that it was something that would have been intensely annoying from any other partner or one night stand, but when he did it, you found it adorable. You knew that you were letting him get away with too much already, but you couldn’t help yourself.)

What you didn’t realize: yes, Spencer would have loved to be cuddled up with you in bed all morning. But he had woken up before you - and he would deny the amount of time he had taken to stare at you while you were sleeping, ogling your beautiful, peaceful face. After he had gotten out of bed, he had taken the initiative to attempt to prepare breakfast.

He rarely cooked for himself. When he did cook, it was usually simple, plain, unimpressive dishes that were more meant to kill hunger than to actually taste nice. And he was even further screwed by the fact that his fridge wasn’t even well stocked because the team had been so busy on cases that he hadn’t even thought to go grocery shopping in a while.

Of course, he had coffee (and cream, and sugar - because he wasn’t a monster, he made himself a cup every morning). And he had some basics like eggs, so he was trying his best to make something nice for you.

When you walked into the kitchen, still dressed in nothing but your camisole and your panties, the chill of the morning air was biting and Spencer looked invitingly warm.

He was standing at the stove, concentrating on some sizzling pan, and you couldn’t resist the urge to walk up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist. He had gotten dressed since getting out of bed, so he was wearing a bright blue cotton tee shirt (that you didn’t yet see had the Superman logo on the front) and a pair of plaid pajama bottoms. It was an entirely adorable sight: Spencer in loungewear. You indulged in pressing your face lightly between his shoulders, loving the feeling of the soft cotton against your cheek.

You noticed that the radio was on in the background - a low hum compared to the pan sizzling on the stove. But from what you could tell, the news was playing. He was such an old man in some ways.

“Please tell me that’s coffee I’m smelling.” You moaned quietly, feeling snuggled by his soft embrace.

“A teaspoon of sugar and just a little bit of cream,” He said, taking his hand off the handle of the frying pan to reach over to the side, grabbing a coffee cup and hoisting it in your direction - which was slightly awkward with you behind him.

You met him halfway, taking the coffee thankfully. Then you moved to lean against the counter to actually drink your coffee. He was rueful that the hug didn’t last longer, but he didn’t say anything about it.

“You remembered,” You grinned at him, referring to the fact that he had made your coffee exactly how you liked it.

When you took the first sip, it tasted amazing, and began to wake up your senses from the drowsy lull that you had been feeling.

“It’s quite literally impossible for me to forget.” He replied, giving you a grin.

“Hmm,” You hummed thoughtfully, clutching the warm coffee cup with both hands. “I’d like to test that theory one of these days.”

If you could make Spencer so incoherent with an orgasm, even just begging for one, you were willing to bet that you could feed him information that he wouldn’t be able to repeat back to you when he was so fucked out. It would be one of the ultimate victories - proving the genius’s perfect eidetic memory wrong.

Spencer saw that look in your eyes - the same one you had given him last night before you had gifted him the fleshlight. (Which was still propped up in the drying rack, a sight that had startled him when he had first gotten into the kitchen that morning). He had a feeling that, based on that look alone, he knew what you meant. He shied away then, looking back down to the pan of eggs as your brain moved on to another subject.

“I still can’t believe that you listen to the radio in the morning,” You commented, nodding toward the device that was propped up on the half-wall that partitioned off the kitchen from the living room. “You’re such an old man.”

“I’m younger than you!” He chuckled.

“No, no.” You easily corrected him, your voice taking on a very typical joking tone. “Being an old man is a way of life. It’s not about your age. It’s why you and Gideon get along so well.”

Spencer snorted with laughter at this. He turned off the stove, deciding the eggs were done, and began to scrape them onto a plate, hoping that it wasn’t too measly or unimpressive.

“Well then… you had sex with an old man last night.” Spencer chuckled, trying to sound confident in this ‘joke’.

You couldn’t help but to laugh at his nervousness.

“You need to work on your comebacks, too.” You told him with a grin. “I should get you one of those ‘yo mama’ joke books that seventh graders pass around.”

“Oh, that explains why I suck at comebacks. I skipped seventh grade.” He shrugged casually.

You laughed even harder at this. For him, it was a simple statement of fact, but to you, it sounded like he was purely bragging, and that turned out to be a better joke than the one he actually intended as humor.

Spencer bit his lip to hold back a grin.

Mornings with you - it was so much better than he had expected. He had expected things to be intensely awkward after what had taken place last night. He had expected that the entire tone of your relationship might change. And that was something he was fearful of. But you were still making jokes, still absolutely not afraid to insult him in that joking way that you did.

Spencer felt a yearning deep inside of him at the realization - like the string of a harp being plucked, setting off vibrations of bitter harmony through his entire being. He wanted his life to be like this every single morning. He wanted to make coffee for you every day - he wanted to be yours.

You picked up a fork and took a small bite of the eggs he had offered up, and Spencer felt his heart drop when your face immediately coiled into disgust.

“What’s wrong?” He asked quietly, fearing he had terribly disappointed you.

“Honey… how much salt did you put in this?” You asked, your words slightly muffled by the food cradled on your tongue.

You walked over to the sink and spit the eggs out, and Spencer rushed to pick up a fork for himself as he answered.

“Not much, I think.” He said, taking his own bite of the food. Then he immediately understood. “Oh my god. That’s so bad.” He said, feeling a gag curling in his throat at just how putridly salty it was.

He leaned over and spat his bite in the sink next to yours, and before the fear of disappointing you could fully set in, you burst out laughing brightly.

“Oh god.” You chuckled. “You don’t usually cook, do you?”

“Not really.” He said, giving you a timid smile. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You assured him, rubbing a hand gently across his back. “We can just get some breakfast on the way to work.”

He would learn to cook for you too. Most definitely.

The sweetness and peace was disrupted by a sharp digital chirping - a cellphone ringing. You didn’t think to question if it was your phone or Spencer’s before you put your coffee cup on the counter and rushed toward the sound, finding the small silver object buzzing in the middle of the coffee table (still off to the side of the room where you had pushed it the night before). You grabbed it up and flipped it open, and answered without hesitation.

“Hello?” You said politely.

Spencer stood in the doorway of the kitchen then, watching on with curiosity, wondering if the two of you were being called in for a case.

“Y/N?” JJ’s voice came from the other end of the line - but she sounded oddly confused.

“Yeah.” You confirmed. “What’s up?”

“What are you doing answering Spencer’s phone?” She asked, an eager curiosity coming through her voice.

Your work phones were practically identical, so it was a crapshoot.

You scrambled to make up an excuse, even though you knew her mind had likely already strayed to something in the realm of ‘adult sleepover’.

“He and I were hanging out last night and I fell asleep on the couch watching movies.” You said. “You know Reid, he went on that whole rant about how driving tired is like driving drunk, he insisted that I stay over-”

JJ let out a hardy laugh, cutting you off.

“Yeah, keep working on that.” She said. “I’m sure the others will definitely believe it.” You rolled your eyes at this, and JJ continued. “Did the two of you use a condom, or should we be expecting some genius babies coming our way nine months from now?”

You wanted to conjure up a crude (but truthful) joke about how Spencer had cum into a silicone pussy and you didn’t think babies could come from that. But for once, you managed to hold your tongue. You wanted to respect his privacy rather than flaunting your sexual exploits in front of other people and embarrassing him. You did have some sense of tact.

“Do we have a case or are you just calling around cause you’re lonely?” You fired back, trying to get her off this topic.

“Yes, we do.” She said. “And you just saved me a phone call. So you and your little boyfriend get in here as soon as possible, okay?”

You sighed. “Yeah, of course.”

You snapped the phone shut before she could make any more cute comments, and then you walked over and handed it to Spencer.

“There’s a case?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You told him. “Sweetie, would you mind running down to my car and grabbing my go-bag? I need a fresh change of clothes.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. I can do that.”

His overall obedience toward you kicked in again, and he found himself nodded eagerly. He knew that if he were a dog, his tail would have been wagging relentlessly as he shoved on a pair of shoes and a sweater and you tossed him your keys from your purse in order to go and do the task.

You chugged down your coffee and headed toward the bathroom for a quick shower to freshen up. As Reid went down to the parking garage, he had to wonder about the things he had just heard you say on that call.

He knew that you had made up the excuse about you ‘falling asleep on the couch’ to JJ because you didn’t want to simply expose the fact that the two of you had played around the night before. It was a private thing that should be kept between the two of you. Even though you were relatively shameless about toting other private matters in public. You were never ashamed about announcing to the world when you were on your period or if certain foods had upset your stomach - in great detail.

So - if you weren’t so eager to announce being with Reid, did it mean that you were ashamed of him? Did it mean that you didn’t want to tell everyone that you had a sexual partner like him?

He tried not to stew in that thought as he brought your bag back upstairs. When he closed the door to the apartment and you heard him come in, you called him and told him to come toward the bathroom, and he heard the shower shutting off.

It was only then that it occurred to him that you were using his shower - you were naked in the shower. You were naked in his apartment.

He felt warmth in his pelvis at the thought, and he tried dampening it down (tried thinking of horror, sadness, dead bodies) - because he really didn’t have time to masturbate or ‘play’ more with you before work. He didn’t have time to take care of an erection right now. Would this be a recurring problem? Getting erections around you so easily now because you had awakened something in him? Because now he knew that you would actually touch him?

When Spencer came to the bathroom door, it was partially cracked open, and there was warm, hazy air pouring out - clearly steam from how hot you had the shower.

“Did you find the bag?” You asked, clearly having heard Spencer’s footsteps in the hallway.

“Y-yeah.” He answered.

“Okay, well, you can come in and bring it to me.” You chuckled, bright and confident as ever.

Spencer pushed the door open fully.

He felt like he was stepping into an early morning heaven when he stepped into that humid air and saw you standing in the middle of the bathmat, wrapping a towel around your naked, dripping body.

The way you held it kept your breasts and vagina fully covered, shielding all of the ‘important’ parts from Spencer’s view. But when you pulled it back to adjust the tightness of the towel around your chest, you clearly didn’t care about the skin that was revealed. The thickness of your hip and the plushness of the side of your stomach was bared to his eyes; his gaze devoured the large strip of skin all the way up the side of your body, just barely kissing the side of your breast where the towel covered you. It looked so scandalous even though it showed so little of you before you covered yourself back up and tucked the towel into itself, securing the fabric around your body.

“Thank you, Spencer.” You said, reaching out and grabbing the bag from him.

Spencer stood there for a moment longer, watching in utter awe as his eyes traced a droplet of water down your neck and into your cleavage. He wondered what it might be like to lean over and lick it up, wondering what your skin might taste like-

“Spence, shouldn’t you go get ready now?” You posed, looking up from rooting around your bag that you now had propped up on the closed toilet lid.

“Right.” Spencer said. “Right. Yeah.”

Spencer rushed off to his bedroom, doing just that.

He did have to masturbate before he could focus at all on getting dressed. He felt slightly shameful for it, but he picked up your discarded blouse from his bedroom floor, left there by you from the night before, holding it to his nose while he pumped his cock with his hand. And with it, he came faster than he ever had by his own touch. And then he rushed to clean up and get dressed and managed to meet you just as you were emerging from the bathroom, looking as beautiful as ever in another button up blouse and simple black pants.

You gave him a grin and didn’t at all seem to suspect that he had touched himself, and he felt so utterly victorious - like he had a secret, like he had gotten away with something.

…

You had to laugh as you watched Spencer struggle to clean the dried cum off his glasses in the car with a couple of wet wipes. It was something you had forgotten to do the night before, and you found it entirely amusing as he muttered and grunted to himself, trying to get the lenses fully clean while you drove.

By the time you got to the office, Spencer’s glasses were glimmering clean and you recklessly pulled into the first parking spot you saw in the garage, hoping that you weren’t terribly late. (Unfortunately you hadn’t had time for breakfast, and hunger was gnawing at you, but you would take care of that later.)

Spencer began voicing complaints about your parking job and the likelihood of your doors getting dented by someone else getting out of their car, but you simply dragged him forward with a hand on his wrist and told him that it would be your problem as you shoved him into the elevator.

Nobody else was lingering in the bullpen, which worried you, and surely enough - everybody else was already sitting at the roundtable as you and Spencer walked down the hall. Many prying eyes stared at the two of you from the doorway, clearly expectant of the two of you. When you got in, you noticed that the only absent face was Gideon. At least you and Spencer weren’t the only ones holding up the presentation of the case.

“You’re late.” Hotch grumbled as Spencer shut the door behind the two of you. “Again.”

“So sue me.” You shrugged, causing Hotch to roll his eyes, and causing a smirk from Morgan and Elle - who generally loved your snark.

“Don’t blame her, Hotch, she probably had a hard time finding her keys after Boy Genius rocked her world.” Elle said, making an obvious joke about the fact that you and Spencer had come in together.

That, and you wouldn’t put it above JJ not to tell everyone that you had spent the night at Spencer’s place (especially if she delivered that news under suspicion that the two of you had sex).

Reid - who had gone to the counter off to the side to get himself yet another cup of coffee - dropped a packet of sugar on the floor out of nervousness when he heard Elle’s comment. You found it entirely adorable when he scrambled to pick it up, clearly trying his hardest not to seem suspicious.

“So come on, how was it?” Morgan said, looking right at you as he hopped onto the joke. “Did he spread you open like a good library book?”

Hotch sighed, pressing his fingers into the bridge of his nose, knowing he could do nothing to stop the conversation. He looked to his phone, desperately trying to ignore this as it went on around him.

“Very funny.” You griped sarcastically. “If I look tired, it’s because this loser had me up all night rambling on about Star Wars - fun facts, behind the scenes trivia.” You said, motioning toward Spencer for emphasis when you said ‘this loser’. “I absolutely did not need to know the difference between a protocol droid and an astromech droid, but now I do.”

On any other occasion, you casually throwing around the word ‘loser’ in reference to Spencer would have hurt his feelings.

But during this moment, Spencer found himself suppressing a grin. Everyone in the room had basically invited you to openly mock him for his lack of sexual ability, to spill his secrets as office gossip. But instead, you had chosen to keep those secrets close to your chest, clearly as a way to protect him from future mockery. And on top of that, you had made a clever reference to a previous conversation that the two of you did have about Star Wars. He was proud that you remembered the term ‘astromech droid’ off the top of your head at all.

He felt proud, sharing a filthy secret with you. And he knew that he was definitely not a loser after what had happened last night.

“Star Wars?” JJ questioned, looking at you with an expression that said she definitely knew you were lying, but she obviously didn’t have any proof.

You had told her that you fell asleep on his couch by accident, and now you were telling the others that he had kept you up all night?

“Yeah, that sounds more like it.” Morgan chuckled, receiving a knowing nod from Elle.

Spencer passed by you, placing a coffee cup in front of your chair as you took your jacket off and sat down. He highly resisted the urge to give you a grin - knowing that it would give away your sweet little secret to the rest of the room. He simply walked around the table and took his own seat, and before any further discussion about the possible antics of your private lives could occur, Gideon walked in with a file in hand and JJ began presenting the case.

…

It was a case like any other. (Unfortunately.) Women strangled, sexually assaulted, left in areas of the woods that weren’t too difficult to find.

As you looked at the horrific crime scene photos, you couldn’t help but to think that perhaps part of the reason you loved to dominate subservient men was to take back your personal power. Because deep down, you knew that you were terrified of ending up like that, and you loved the small piece of the world that you could take back when you got your hand around a man’s neck and made him beg for mercy (consensually, of course).

But you couldn’t dwell on that for too long, because you had a job to do.

There was a fresh crime scene when the team arrived, and Hotch sent you and Morgan to investigate it while he and Gideon went to speak to the victim’s family. The others left to set up at the local police station, and you couldn’t help but to notice Spencer’s eyes lingering on you as you parted ways.

There were some drag marks in the dirt and a camera perched on a public bathroom that insisted the victim (and her attacker) could have been seen, so Morgan stepped away to call Garcia to see if she could pull anything from the camera’s feed. You did some more looking around, but couldn’t find anything of note.

When you walked back over to where Morgan was perched beside the SUV, grinning with his phone beside his ear, you couldn’t hold back a comment at his final words before he hung up.

“-oh, of course. Well you are beautiful and brilliant as always, my love. Thank you.”

“You didn’t tell me Reid was on the phone.” You commented snidely, giving a wide smirk as you walked around into Morgan’s view.

You thought you were being clever, making the joke that he would call Reid beautiful, or playfully call him ‘my love’. But of course, he turned this right back around on you.

“No, that was just Garcia. She said the camera’s a dud and she couldn’t get anything off it.” Before you could comment on this fact, he continued.

“But I took a message from Reid earlier. He said he left his panties at your place and he wants them back,” He smirked widely himself as he said this.

Likely the exact opposite of what he had intended, this caused a distinct image in your mind. One of Spencer wearing a pair of pink lacy panties - his long, hard cock straining to fit inside the skimpy material, and leaky wildly inside of it, making everything so wet.

You forced yourself to refocus, and purposefully put on a sour look, pretending that you were annoyed by his crude comment.

“Ha-ha.” You griped sarcastically. “You know Reid and I aren’t a thing. So you can stop with the jokes before you embarrass him.”

Truthfully, you did want the jokes to stop before it hurt Reid. You knew that he likely wanted to keep his sex life private. You didn’t want his shyness to come back tenfold before you could truly open him up and explore his filthy side.

Morgan snorted, clearly in disbelief.

“Oh, so you’re gonna act like that whole bit this morning wasn’t you and boy genius stumblin’ in late because of a late night booty call?” Morgan posed. “A real one. Not him fallin’ asleep on his phone.”

You shifted your attitude then. If he wasn’t going to drop it, then you were going to arm yourself.

“Okay, if you’re so invested in my sex life, you wanna talk about the size XXL purple leopard thong that I found in your back seat three weeks ago?” You posed sharply, a stone cold look on your face even though you were holding back the urge to laugh.

At the time, Morgan had offered to give you a ride home because your car battery had died. And when you tossed your bag into his back seat, you randomly spotted the streak of bright color - very out of place among the few gray sweatshirts he had in the back. And when you picked it up, wondering what it was, you held it in your hands and in a moment, based on the size, knew who it belonged to.

But he had been denying where it had come from (and the lustful tryst behind it) ever since. Clearly he wanted to keep his inter-office sex life private too.

“I-” Morgan began stuttering out an explanation, then swallowed it up. “We should get going.” He said, motioning toward the SUV.

“We should.” You easily agreed.

…

The whole time the team spent working the case, you found it difficult to interact with Spencer.

You really wanted to say that having sex with him wouldn’t change your working relationship, but it wasn’t like you had fucked just anybody. It was Spencer. If you had railed Elle or Derek or anybody else on the team, you probably could have gone to work the next day and pushed it to the back of your mind with grace.

But knowing that Spencer was inexperienced, knowing that you had likely been the first person to ever hear him moan like that, the first to ever see him covered in his own cum - it was definitely something that stuck in your head (to a painfully distracting extent).

Every time you so much as looked at him, saw that thoughtful expression with those glasses perched on his face, you immediately pictured him blissfully fucked out with large spots of his own cum covering the lenses.

So you tried your best to avoid him for the majority of the work. You volunteered to leave the station whenever possible, and left him with his maps, making a geographical profile, doing what he did best. You tried to keep yourself distracted and focused on a case.

This - somehow - had you and Gideon following a lead, following up with someone who had spoken to the first victim a few minutes before she was murdered. While the two of you searched the man’s property looking for him, he managed to sneak up behind you and put you in a chokehold, attempting to strangle you.

Because yeah - he was the killer. Great.

And apparently, once again, your sick sense of humor paid off. Because when your hand reached for your gun upon instinct and you realized that in your Spencer Reid sex-haze distractions, you had somehow forgotten it in the car, you cursed yourself, and then you began to physically struggle. And then you realized that this man was too strong, and there was no good way for you to escape the hold with physical methods.

With your vision becoming hazy, your instinct was to start moaning in a very exaggerated, pornographic way and tell him how much you liked the feeling of being strangled - which led him to loosen his grip out of shock. And that gave you more than enough room to elbow him in the face, knocking him loopy so you could call to Gideon for help.

The two of you had him in cuffs in minutes and when everyone else got there and asked you how you managed to escape, you told them that you were simply too fierce of a fighter for the man to hold you down. They didn’t need to know what actually happened or where your mind went when faced with danger.

Spencer looked at you with incredibly sad eyes when he saw the irritated strangle marks around your neck, but you pointed to the marks and told him you were fine with a chuckle. That it looked worse than it was. You were surprised and kind of hurt when he didn’t say anything to you in return.

Spencer didn’t sit next to you during the plane ride home (which you took slight offense to). But he did come up to you in the parking garage when you were getting ready to leave. You had been inspecting a large bump in one of your doors (cursing the fact that Spencer always had to be right), and you became distracted when you heard his footsteps echoing through the large space behind you.

You thought that maybe he needed a ride since you had been the one to drive him there after your heated night together. But he stood a few feet away with his hands in his pockets, so you took your hand off the key that was poised in your car door and made it clear that you were prepared to pay attention to him - clearly he had something to say.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked timidly.

“What? No.” You let out breathily, almost laughing. “Why would you think-?” You began to ask, and then cut yourself off, realizing the answer to your own question halfway through speaking it. “Because I’ve been avoiding you.” You spoke aloud.

Spencer nodded, seeming very solemn and downtrodden by this fact.

“You wouldn’t even look at me over the past few days.” He said. “I mean, I understand if I did something wrong.” He declared, his voice taking on the same broken wetness that his eyes had, as though he was on the verge of crying. “But I - I thought that what happened the other night, what we did, I thought it was special. I-”

“Spencer. Come here.” You summoned him closer, not wanting to talk loudly across the parking garage at him. You didn’t want your voices to echo when speaking about your sex life - just in case anybody did happen to come by.

You found it achingly adorable that he called what had happened ‘special’. Like he was a young woman talking about ‘making love’. It was tooth-rotting sweet. Especially considering that he wasn’t referring to some night where the two of you had laid in bed together with candles and Barry Mantilow playing. But rather, a time where you had tied him to a kitchen chair and fucked him senseless with a fake pussy.

Spencer easily followed your order, finding nothing but natural order in listening to you. He came to stand just a few inches from your body where you were leaning up against the door of your car, and then you began to speak quietly.

“What we did was special.” You assured him with a smile. The sadness on his features broke up slightly at this. “In fact, it was so special that I couldn’t get it out of my head. Every time I looked at you, I just imagined you moaning for me, covered in your own cum. I kept hearing your pretty voice in my ears saying ‘please’ in that gorgeous way you do.”

Of course, you did angle your words more into dirty talk, and you leaned into him slightly when you said these things, whispering in a low, seductive voice. You loved how his Adam’s apple bobbed heavily as he swallowed thickly, and a slight flush moved across his cheeks at your words.

When he didn’t say anything, clearly stunned into silence by your words, you continued.

“I didn’t want to be turned on, or distracted when we have an important job to do.” You had to leave out the fact that you had been so distracted that you had almost made a fatal mistake. But nobody needed to know about that. “So… I just tried to focus on something other than you for a while. I do apologize if it seems like I was avoiding you out of anger, but that is definitely not the case.” You told him, easily capping off your explanation.

“I understand.” Spencer nodded. “That’s… kind of how I feel every day. But I guess I’m just used to it by now. So I’m better at not being distracted.”

You felt intensely flattered, and slightly turned on as he unintentionally fluffed your ego.

“Because you’re a good boy.” You told him, knowing that praise was one of his weak spots.

You swore you saw his knees shake when the words hit him, and he cleared his throat loudly before he spoke again.

“Is - is it always going to be like this?” He asked.

He would have mourned your friendship if that were the case. He didn’t want to trade off your jokes and your everyday interactions for the sex, as amazing as the sex was. Selfishly, he wanted both.

“No.” You easily assured him. “I just need a bit of time to get my head on straight. I need some time to get used to it. Like you said, I need to get better at not being distracted.”

Spencer nodded at this.

He was very tempted to ask if you wanted to come over to his place that night. If you wanted to ‘sleep-over’ again. Not only had he enjoyed the spectacular orgasm, learning from you, but he had genuinely enjoyed the kind of domesticity that came from waking up with you there. He loved having someone in his kitchen in the morning. He knew he would miss that sorely if he woke up tomorrow morning and you weren’t there. (Perhaps you had spoiled him too much already.)

However, before he could work up the courage to ask, you leaned up on your toes and kissed him on the cheek, muttering ‘goodnight, Spence’. And in return, he muttered something about paperwork before he walked back toward the elevator.

…

That night, Spencer went home and grabbed the fleshlight off the dishrack as soon as he spotted it. He knew that you had bought it for him with the intention of him using it independently, but as he grabbed the bottle of lube off the living room coffee table, he just felt… lonely without you there.

But he supposed that he had to learn how to do it on his own, because you wouldn’t be there all the time to help him. It was only a fantasy - the two of you getting a place together, so he could serve you in every possible way, doing so gleefully, and in return, you would play with him whenever he wanted.

He stripped naked and slicked up his cock and the toy just like you had shown him. He couldn’t help but to miss the feeling of your hand on his cock as he did it. When he got the tight softness of the fake pussy around him, he screwed his eyes closed tight - and all he could think about was you.

He missed you like a tree missing sunlight, and he felt his head spinning - felt like he had no greater sense of control without your voice telling him what to do. It made him anxious and on edge the whole time he had that fake pussy wrapped around his cock, rather than the beautifully, buttery warmth he had felt before.

By the time he came, he was practically sobbing. A deep ache for you in his chest as he missed your touch over him - missed the feeling of your fingers running through his hair, missed your voice calling him ‘good boy’ as that tingling ran through his gut.

After he rinsed out the toy with hot water and put it back in the dish rack to dry (wondering if he was cleaning it right) and jumped in the shower, he wondered if he would ever be content to masturbate alone again. He wondered if you had ruined him, if he would ever truly feel satiated without your touch.

…

The next few days passed without much of note happening.

You and Spencer stayed away from each other in the office and everyone began to whisper, theorizing that you were in some kind of fight. But of course, they didn’t notice the glances the two of you exchanged over the partition of your close desks - a deeply knowing stare that only the other person could decipher.

Also, unknowingly, Derek had given you a fantastic idea.

One day during your lunch break, you visited a lingerie store that you loved, and picked up a pair of lacy pink panties that would definitely be too small for you - but that you hoped would fit a certain genius’ slim hips just right.

…

At the end of the week, you were intensely thankful to have a day off.

You were tempted to turn your phone off completely, not wanting to be cursed with being called in on your day off. You could say that you lived with the hope that nobody out there was needing the BAU’s help, but truly, you were just annoyed and wanted some time to relax.

You woke up naturally around mid morning, and you were feeling hungry so you hesitantly rolled out of bed. You washed your face and did a light, lazy morning routine. On your way to the kitchen in your modest, cozy, but very well decorated apartment, you heard a knock on the door.

You felt all of your muscles tense up unconsciously. You really hoped that it wasn’t someone from the team, needing something. (You also hoped that it wasn’t one of your exes, showing up unannounced to beg for you back because the sex had been too good and had ruined them for anyone else - which had happened before. Multiple times unfortunately.)

You hesitantly walked over to the door (so tempted to pretend that you weren’t home and simply be left unbothered). When you looked through the peephole, you were delightfully surprised to see that it was Spencer. He was standing there, dressed like he usually did for work, holding a tray with two takeout coffee cups in one hand and a large brown paper bag in the other.

He had brought breakfast.

A sweetheart with a big dick and a pretty face who begged so pretty and brought food? Fuck, you might just have to marry him.

You eagerly opened the door and grinned widely at him.

“Spence!” You greeted him with excitement. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Um, hi.” He gave you a smile himself, and nodded at you rather than waving because his hands were full. “Can I come in? I brought breakfast.” He motioned toward the items in his hands, and you nodded, moving aside to let him in. “I wanted to make up for those… abysmal eggs that I made you the other morning.”

“They weren’t abysmal.” You told him with a chuckle as you shut the door. “And I do admire you for trying.”

Spencer naturally navigated his way to your small kitchen, to the small round table that you had in there to set the items down. This was only his third time in your apartment.

Two of the other times he had been there, it had been to hang out and play board games with you, JJ, Elle, and Penelope. Something that had started out as a joke - Derek telling him that he might have fun ‘tagging along on girls’ night’. So he had. And he did have fun.

And one of the times it had been because he had gotten quite drunk and you had brought him here to take care of him. Because he had been so drunk that he couldn’t tell you where his house keys were. Waking up on your couch that morning to the smell of pancakes had been delightfully confusing.

Either way, he found your apartment wonderfully homey. Decorated in jewel tones with girly touches. And there was always a nice smell lingering in the air from some kind of scented candle or nice perfume you were wearing.

“Yeah, well, food is definitely not one of my areas of expertise.” Spencer admitted, carrying on the conversation as he took your coffee out of the tray and handed it to you.

You noticed the distinct motion of his eyes going up and down your body, lingering around your thighs and your breasts, distracting him from picking up his own coffee for a few moments.

It was only then that you became hyper-aware of the fact that you were still wearing your pajamas.

It was a matching set made of a thin cotton fabric with a floral pattern on it - the top was a tank top with thin little spaghetti straps (and of course, you had just gotten out of bed, so you weren’t wearing a bra). The shorts were intensely short, revealing most of your wide thighs. It didn’t leave much to the imagination, so you realized why it caused Spencer’s eyes to wander. You loved his keen gaze, though. And you pretended not to notice as the conversation continued.

“The genius finally admits that there’s something he doesn’t know!” You chuckled.

“There are still plenty of things I don’t know.” Spencer said quietly - the glint in his eye told you that he was definitely referring to the pivotal conversation that the two of you had the other night. The conversation where he had lovingly begged you to teach him about sex. “Plenty of things I still need to learn.”

There was a pause where the air was filled with intense sexual tension, but Spencer broke it by grabbing the paper bag with the food in it and opening it up.

“I got you a breakfast sandwich.” He said. “Bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel.”

“Sounds perfect.” You nodded. “Plates are in the cupboard above the sink. I’m gonna go down to my mailbox and see if my newspaper has been delivered.” You told him, walking over to the door to shove on your slippers.

“Getting your news from the paper? What an old lady you are,” Spencer said, clearly recycling your own words from the other morning back at you.

“That just means you like old ladies.” You chuckled, recycling his comment from the other day. “You must be into MILFs,”

“‘MILFs?’” Spencer questioned, that adorably confused look coming across his features again.

You became filled to the brim with glee at the realization that you would get to explain this to him.

“It means ‘Mother I’d Like To Fuck’ or ‘Mommy I’d Like To Fuck’.” You told him. “Usually it’s used to describe a sex fantasy where someone wants to fuck - well, a mother. Someone who’s had children, because they’re attracted to the concept of motherhood. Or it can be describing a porn category, usually anything with a curvy older woman and a younger man… some people say that a MILF doesn’t necessarily have to be a woman who’s had kids, just a woman who’s older than you and hot.”

Spencer’s lips gaped with lustful shock, and a flush came over him. He wanted to confirm that you were definitely a MILF - because you were a woman who was technically older than him, curvy, and very hot. And he definitely wanted to fuck you. All the time. But that would mean using the word ‘Mommy’ to describe you, and as much as that brought a tingle through him - that was not a can of worms that he was ready to open. Yet.

You left him standing there, gaping with shock and you couldn’t help but to laugh at this as you walked out the door to go to the mailbox.

When you came back, you and Spencer sat on the couch and ate with the TV playing quietly in the background. A random network was playing Pretty Woman and you left it on because Spencer remarked that he had never seen it before, and you found it adorable how closely he paid attention to the film as it progressed.

When you finished your food, you opened your newspaper and began reading. At some point, you had stretched out, and your feet had wandered into Spencer’s lap. Before you could wonder if he found it annoying, he began to lightly massage them.

It was a delicate kind of peace, and you couldn’t help but to enjoy the silent, easy company as he watched the film and you read an article about a new baby penguin being given to two male penguin parents at the local zoo.

You didn’t know that Spencer’s skin was crawling, eagerness building up inside of him as he sat in silence. Seeing you just sitting there, your face gently concentrated as you read. You putting your feet so carelessly in his lap, using him like he was just a lovely piece of furniture, just a footrest for you. All if it seemed to be checkmarks on some unknown list of things that only made him more lustful.

And for the past ten minutes, he had been slowly losing focus on the plot of the film and found himself staring more and more at your thighs or sneaking glances at you over top of the newspaper.

He had the urge to simply nudge your legs apart and crawl between them. To start touching you until he found out what was pleasurable for you. Until you called him ‘good boy’ in that way that made him melt again. But he wasn’t nearly confident enough to just do that. So he was just sitting there quietly. Slowly going insane as he thought about all the things that he wanted you to be doing to him now that the two of you were alone with free time.

Of course, you noticed him becoming more antsy. You felt him moving more in his seat, you felt him becoming tense under your feet. So you decided to ask and see what he would say. You wondered if he would come right out and admit that he was feeling lustful, or if you would have to pull it out of him.

“What’s up, Spence?” You asked, glancing over the newspaper at him.

Then, Spencer said something incredibly stupid.

“They’re hosting some of Van Gogh’s original sketches at the Smithsonian Art Museum this month.” Spencer said, motioning toward the back page of the newspaper that you had extended in one hand. It was all advertisements, but one of them did say something about a Van Gogh exhibit including some of his original art.

He had been feeling dangerously nervous and wanted to deflect from himself.

“Hmm.” You said after you read it. “Maybe we should go check it out.”

Spencer’s face fell to disappointment at this suggestion, and you held back laughter.

“What? Did you have some other grand plans for the day?” You posed, knowing this would get the right reaction out of him.

“I…” Spencer let out a breath, clearly hesitating. “I was kind of hoping we could… play.”

You couldn’t hold back your grin. You loved that he was using the language you had taught him, feeling confident in putting the vocabulary to good use.

“How about this?” You posed, knowing that you were fully in charge, and it was up to you to make the plan. “We go and check out the art exhibit, and if you behave yourself on this little outing, then you can have whatever you want as a reward when we come back home.”

Spencer’s eyes lit up at this. He seemed highly motivated at the idea of having a ‘reward’.

“What would ‘behaving myself’ entail?” He asked, ever eager to have a set of rules to follow.

“Don’t touch me without permission.” You told him. “Keep your hands to yourself. Don’t nag me or keep asking when we’ll come home and play. And… well, there is one more thing. Something special that you could do for me.”

Spencer’s face knit with confusion at this.

“What’s that?” He asked.

“Hold on.” You told him.

Then you got up off the couch and abandoned your newspaper on the coffee table, leaving Spencer nervously fidgeting as he waited for your return. He was surprised when you came back with a bright pink shopping bag - something fairly small and girly. The shop logo on the side wasn’t one that he recognized, so he had no idea what could be inside the bag.

He waited patiently as you stood on the opposite side of the table and put the bag in the middle of it, and peeled back the pink tissue paper to take out the object inside the bag. He was slightly confused when you pulled out a small, delicate pair of lacy pink panties.

When you unfolded them and held them up to display them to him, he easily saw that they would be too small for you, and the confusion racked him even harder. If you hadn’t bought the underwear for yourself then-?

“I wanted you to wear these for me.” You told him, your voice steady. “Under your clothes all day. So just you and I know.”

Instantly, a wave of anxiety swept over Spencer.

You hated the look that came across his face and you tossed the underwear down as he spoke.

“Would - why?” He stuttered out. “Do you think it’s funny or something?”

Spencer hated it, but he was immediately brought back to a time in his childhood. A time when, as a child prodigy in a public high school, he had been forced to take a gym class with a bunch of older teenagers, and forced to change in the same locker room as everyone else, because the coach refused to ‘treat him special’ just because he was ‘a smartass’.

And at the time, he had thought nothing of his Ninja Turtles underpants until the other boys started pointing and laughing at them. They had thought his underwear was so funny, in fact, that they took his clothes, forcing him to walk out into the hallway in nothing but his underwear, fighting to get his clothes back.

Back then, he didn’t understand why someone’s underwear would be funny. But it had changed him and left him guarded and feeling small - even now.

“No, no, no, baby. Of course not.” You rushed to assure him otherwise, sitting down on the coffee table in front of him and putting a tender hand on his knee.

“I would never want to laugh at you. Or humiliate you.” You told him very sincerely.

You distinctly held back the urge to say ‘unless you want me to’. You didn’t think he was ready to know that some people role played humiliation on purpose. That would be for another day.

“Baby, I only wanted to do this because it’s a turn-on for me.” You continued. “But you don’t have to do it if you’re uncomfortable. I don’t want to make you upset or uncomfortable.”

“It - it turns you on?” Spencer’s face knit with intense confusion, contemplating your words carefully.

This was a brand new aspect that - now that it was presented to him, definitely had him processing the concept with fresh eyes.

He knew that films or comedic shows presented the idea of men wearing women’s clothing as a form of public humiliation. Even though during Shakespearan times it was artistic, a beautiful form of theater. In modern times, men were publicly mocked and shamed for parading around in clothing that wasn’t ‘meant’ for them.

Of course, growing up in Las Vegas, he was well aware of the existence of Drag Queens - people who fell somewhere between that Shakespearan theater and the Saturday Night Live style of comedy that was usually straight men wearing dresses. But drag performers dressed up in women’s clothing for money. They did it as a type of paid performance.

No part of Spencer’s mental catalog had any idea that people dressed in clothing that didn’t align with their gender as, well… a fetish.

Spencer imagined himself wearing the underwear - especially knowing that you would be looking at him with a lustful gaze while he wore it, and he felt a distinct tingle in his gut. He felt his mood shifting from anxiety to something warmer, but he was still on edge.

“Tell me what’s on your mind, baby.” You pleaded gently, rubbing your hand on Spencer’s knee. “I know that look. So come on, tell me what’s going on inside that big brain of yours.”

Spencer hadn’t realized that he had been sitting there for a prolonged moment, perhaps more than a few, a look of deep thought cast over his features as he considered all of this.

“I… I don’t hate the idea.” Spencer said tentatively.

He was still timid about his own desires, and he was unsure what it meant that he himself was becoming turned on by the idea of wearing women’s underwear. It was supposed to be a show for you, right? Was he supposed to enjoy it?

“You’re not just saying that because you’re trying to please me?” You replied.

You wanted to be sure that he was comfortable. You wanted to ensure that he knew he could say ‘no’ if he needed to.

Spencer shook his head.

“I - I think I could like it.” He said quietly, clearly shy about his own words. “I think I do. Just… can you tell me more about… why you like it?”

You gave a small grin, always happy to explain these kinds of things to him.

“Well, I think you would look good in them.” You said, being entirely honest. “To me, there’s something profoundly beautiful about the sight of a cock trapped in pretty lace. It’s unconventional and just so… pretty.” You explained, choosing your words carefully.

Spencer felt a unique twist in his gut when you used that word - ‘pretty’.

People had used that word to describe him before, but it always felt like it was teasing, or ironic. But when you said it, it sounded so genuine. It made Spencer want more. It made him want to hear it more because he wanted to feel pretty, especially in your eyes. It was something he had never wanted in his life before. It exponentially boosted his desire to wear those panties for you - if that would make him pretty to you, then he would certainly do it.

But he held back on voicing that for now, and simply let you continue.

“Plus, I do enjoy the idea of the two of us having a secret.” You told him. “The fact that you would be wearing those pretty panties under your clothes and we would be the only two people who know.”

Spencer definitely understood that. He liked sharing secrets with you.

It was how he felt all week - entirely filthy and victorious as he wielded his secret from everyone else. Having the knowledge that he had sex with you and the two of you were going about your days without anybody else knowing it. Sure, part of him wanted to brag to Morgan about it for some kind of social standing. But the bigger part of him much preferred the satisfaction of that secret. Having that secret side of you all to himself.

“But like I said, you don’t have to do anything that you’re uncomfortable with. You don’t have to do it just to please me.” You reiterated the point, entirely open with him.

“You really think I’m pretty?” Spencer asked quietly.

You found it adorable that he had become fixated on this word, clearly slightly distracted from the overall point.

“Yes.” You assured him. “You’re very pretty. You’re one of the most attractive people I’ve ever met, Spence.” You reached up and brushed your knuckles gently across his cheek, and he shivered lightly at the touch in combination with the brutally honest praise.

“Thank you.” He said, giving you a small smile. Then, he had a thought. “Can - can I try them on, and then… see how I feel? Before wearing them for the rest of the day?” He asked, nodding toward where you had set down the pink lacy panties.

It was such a brilliant idea - you weren’t sure how you hadn’t thought of it yourself first.

“Of course, baby. That’s a really good idea.” You nodded. “Do you want to go in the other room and put them on, or do you want me to help you?”

He found a warmth curling in his stomach at the idea of you helping him get dressed, and he absolutely couldn’t deny that offer.

“Can you help me?” He asked, looking at you with the sweetest doe eyes. You resisted the urge to simply climb on top of him, kiss the life out of him and make him cum again.

No. Today was going to be about making him wait. Making him needy - making him truly want.

“Okay, baby, stand up for me.”

Of course, he thrived on you giving him orders, so he did just as you told him without any hesitation.

He stood up in front of you and you guided him around the coffee table to have more room. He was wearing such a perfectly Spencer outfit - a navy blue knitted sweater vest with a button up shirt underneath, a pair of gray slacks with a brown belt, and his usual mismatched socks (one red with navy stripes and the other dark gray). He also had a gray blazer that he had ditched on the back of one of your kitchen chairs shortly after coming in.

It was interesting to know that even on his days off, Spencer still wore such ‘business’ clothing. But you supposed that it was all his wardrobe was made up of, because he likely didn’t consider it appropriate to leave the house in his loungewear.

In a lot of ways, much like everything else that he did - it was intensely adorable.

You put your hands on his belt and undid it, and unzipped his pants - when you slid them down over his thighs, you weren’t surprised to see that he was wearing the most Spencer kind of underwear: a pair of plain white briefs. He was half-hard, making a prominent shape in the cotton that caused you to hold back a wicked grin.

“I’m sorry, my underwear isn’t… sexy.” He said, his arms hovering awkwardly around his front as he clearly considered covering himself but hesitated in doing so.

“Don’t apologize, baby.” You said, getting down on your knees to take his pants the rest of the way down and untangle them from his ankles. Naturally, he put a hand on your shoulder and stepped out of them, a flush coming over him at how intimate the entire thing felt.

“That’s why I got these special just for you,” You told him, reaching over and grabbing the panties, holding them up for emphasis.

“You did?” He questioned.

You had taken the tags off shortly before presenting the underwear to him, and even though you had brought them out in a shopping bag, it wasn’t something he had considered. You had bought something like this with him in mind. This was the second time you had gone shopping and gotten him a special present and he couldn’t help but to feel so lovingly spoiled by you.

“I did.” You confirmed with a smile, looking up at him in a way that made him melt.

“Thank you, Miss.” He couldn’t help the title from spilling from his lips, and it immediately made your pussy throb with need.

Once again, you forced yourself to focus.

“I’m gonna take these off now, okay?” You said, reaching up and thumbing along the waistband of his underwear.

Spencer nodded.

“Use your words, please.” You reminded him sharply.

“Yes, Miss.” He said, nodding more frantically.

You took down his briefs and his cock swayed in the air - clearly on the way to being fully hard, smooth and beautiful. You found it adorable that his pubes were still entirely untamed. You loved that even after you had started showing sexual interest in him, he hadn’t felt the need to rush to groom himself. You preferred him like this, especially because the imagery of that bush entirely slick with his own cum would always be stuck in your mind, and you definitely wanted to recreate it again.

You were tempted to get a hand on his cock, to tease him. To get him to full hardness, making him leaking and whining and then force him to go out for a full day of activities. But he was still new to this and you weren’t that mean.

That, and you had a feeling that because it was Spencer, if he started begging you to cum, if he said ‘please’ in that pretty voice again, then you would most likely just give in to him and your whole plan would be ruined. Rather than going to the museum, you would simply spend the day with him tied to the bed and incoherent.

But you wanted to see how far you could truly push him if he was needy. If he was absolutely desperate. And a few hours of your attention directed away from him when he wanted it most (focusing on paintings rather than on pleasing him) along with rough lace scrubbing up against his cock should do very nicely.

You pulled the underwear down fully and just the same as you had with his pants, unhooked them from his ankles, leaving him fully dressed from the waist up, still wearing his socks. Then you picked up the panties again - you had chosen something that was aesthetically pleasing, and hopefully not too uncomfortable for him. It wasn’t anywhere near a thong in the back, but you knew that it would be snug on his cock - just what you were hoping for.

The moment that Spencer felt the lace brush against his skin, he was greeted by a brand new experience. He always chose his clothing based on the comfort of the fabrics - and he had certainly never worn anything with this kind of underlying roughness to it.

When you pulled it fully up over his hips and gently tucked his cock inside the waistband, he did find it thrilling. The fabric created a slightly irritated pain across his highly sensitive cock, and a tightness around his balls, but he found that in a way, he liked it. It was truly all brand new, and though he knew that the feeling was going to become an annoyance after a while, he was curious about the sexual aspects of it. He found that he wanted more.

Especially when he saw the look on your face.

Spencer looked utterly stunning like this. Infinitely better than you could have imagined. Seeing his half-hard cock trapped behind the pink lace as it was stretched over his slim hips almost had you drooling. You knew that the lust was clearly written across your face, and you couldn’t help but to reach up and gently stroke his cock through the fabric, getting a low moan from him.

“How does it feel, baby?” You asked, looking up at him from where you were still positioned on your knees.

With your warm hand on him through the fabric, with you looking at him like he was the most perfect thing in the world, there was only one possible answer.

“Good.” He easily replied. “Really good.”

You smiled at him. “Do you wanna keep them on for the day?”

“Yes, Miss.” He nodded eagerly. Truthfully, he was excited to see where the day would take the two of you.

You helped him put the rest of his clothes back on, then you sat him on the couch to wait for you so that you could go get dressed for the day. You found it entirely adorable when he wiggled around on the spot, clearly adjusting to the new feeling of wearing such tight, lacy panties.

Spencer felt even more intense lustful warmth wash over him when you returned in a flowy red dress with small white polka dots on it. It was a dress with a deep V neck and a tie around the waist, one that looked like it wrapped around your whole body. It accentuated your curves so well, making you look like a gorgeous Hollywood starlet.

You had on a pair of red heels and had a red purse with a long strap on your shoulder. You were truly a vision of beauty. He felt like he shouldn’t be allowed to go out in public with you, especially because people would see the two of you and assume that you were on a date.

(Was it a date? How the hell was he allowed to date someone as perfect as you?)

“And remember, baby. If you’re a good boy all day, then you can have a reward.” You told him, putting your foot up on the coffee table to adjust the strap of your shoe, not-so-subtly flashing him your underwear with how open and flowy the skirt of your dress was.

Spencer was brain dead by the sight for a moment, but then thought to ask:

“What kind of reward?”

“Well… whatever you want. You can pick.” You told him. “As long as you follow the rules.”

Oh, it was going to be a good day.

…

It seemed that your plan worked far better than you originally expected.

When the two of you first got into the museum, Spencer’s hands kept hovering around his waist, clearly resisting the urge to grab at his pants, to try and adjust the panties through his clothing. You combated this by grabbing one of his hands, and kept him busy by prompting him with questions about the paintings as you toured the non-Van Gogh sections of the museum for a while.

At times, Spencer became a bit too fixated on whatever he was saying, and you felt an eagerness to distract him from the art. As much as you enjoyed listening to him ramble on and always learned something from the sound of his sweet, soothing voice, you did have another goal in mind.

When he became a bit too immersed in his thoughts and recollection about whatever art history books he had read, you would provide him with some kind of physical touch that sent his mind absolutely rocketing off the rails, and sent his mouth sputtering as he tried to remember what he had been saying.

You would reach over and wrap your arms around his waist, possibly brushing your hand over his cock on the way. You might wrap an arm around his lower back and lean into his body, purposefully pressing your weight up against his side, letting him feel every single curve that you had to offer. You began to feel more bold as you wanted to get more of a reaction out of him, and you even reached up and planted stray kisses on the side of his neck, behind his ear.

As time progressed, his insights about the paintings became much more shallow, and he began to fidget more. You knew that he was growing intensely needy, and you loved it.

By the time the two of you got to the exhibit with Van Gogh’s original sketches that had drawn you to the museum in the first place, Spencer was oddly pensive and quiet. You let the silence linger as you carefully planned your next move.

Spencer interrupted the peaceful silence with his gentle, prodding voice.

“Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. Then life seems almost enchanted after all.”

“What does that mean?” You asked, turning to look at him.

“It was something Vincent Van Gogh said.” He noted, turning to look at you, mirroring your body language. “It means - well, I think it means that… that life can be full of trauma and darkness, but if you take the time to observe the beauties of your life, and realize how there are simplistic wonders all around us, then… the darkness doesn’t seem so big. The everyday parts of life can seem enchanting.”

You reached up and gently brushed Spencer’s hair back from his forehead, eagerly listening to his sweet voice as he spoke.

You knew - consciously or unconsciously - he was also speaking about the way that you made each other’s lives enchanting. Your job was full of darkness and horror, and it would be easy to fall to it. But you lifted each other up, and became that everyday enchantment that the other person needed.

Spencer’s eyes pointedly flickered down to your lips and then back up to your eyes before he continued.

“Van Gogh was famous for painting pictures of everyday sights. Flower vases, scenes from his village. The Starry Night was painted because he imagined that the stars above his village were a sure sign that God himself came down every single night to kiss the sky there. He didn’t see the mundane as simply… mundane. He saw it as beautiful and worth celebrating.” Spencer explained.

“You’re beautiful.” You easily fired back, and Spencer crumbled under the direct compliment.

In a moment, his cheeks dusted with pink and his posture shrunk. Where he was confident and tall when speaking about art history, he became small as he was trapped under your gaze, absolutely unsure how to take the compliment - especially as it was directed toward his looks. Especially as it made him feel oddly pretty.

When his eyes jumped back up from looking at the floor, his gaze was locked on your mouth once again. He tugged on the bottom of his blazer, and you could tell that he was becoming fidgety and anxious.

His anticipation was easily growing into need.

And so was yours.

Without telling him what was on your mind, you scanned the room. You thought you had seen something of note when you first walked into this section of the museum - and surely enough, in one of the corners, there was a thick black curtain covering a doorway. A curtain that had an ‘Employees Only’ sign pinned to it. Perhaps it led to some kind of storage closet, perhaps it led to another winding hallway.

Whatever was behind there, you were about to find out.

“Come here.” You told him, giving a gentle tug on his elbow that you were holding.

Naturally, entranced by your every movement and having nothing but the ability to follow you - Spencer walked on easy feet, guided by you as you marched across the room with purpose. He thought perhaps you had seen a painting that particularly caught your interest across the room, or that you were finally ready to leave and it was time to go home and get his reward.

But what happened next, he certainly did not expect.

You pulled him toward a dark curtain that was labeled with a sign - Employees Only.

Last time he checked, you hadn’t gotten a job at a museum.

He found himself slightly filled with anxiety at this fact, but you seemed entirely unfazed.

You simply pulled back the curtain and used Spencer’s anxious confusion to your advantage. You shoved him in first before he could question you, and then you climbed in yourself and carefully adjusted the fabric so it would seem completely undisturbed.

The area behind the curtain seemed to be nothing more than a long hallway with a few doors. It was clearly a lesser traveled area of the museum - a few of the lightbulbs overhead blown out and not replaced, the floor dingy and dusty. Perhaps those doors led to storage rooms or the place’s security facilities - but either way, the two of you weren’t supposed to be here.

His insides filled with panic at the idea of getting caught.

“Y/N-!” He called out your name harshly, but you cut him off by putting a hand in the middle of his chest and shoving him back against the wall.

Hitting the wall easily knocked the wind out of him. It was a surprising amount of force - you were much stronger than you looked. Of course, he had seen you take down suspects before. He had witnessed you tackle grown men to the grown with ease and marveled in awe at your strength, but you had never used that kind of force on him. He had never imagined what it would be like.

He found that it turned him on more than he could have imagined. The presence of your hand fisting the front of his sweater vest spread a dizzying heat through his body. He stared at you with parted lips and a slacked jaw as the lust and shock overtook him.

“Are you gonna be good for me?” You asked.

You stood away from him for a moment, removing your hands from him completely and leaving a few inches of space between your two bodies in the dim, dingy space.

You were giving him a clear opportunity to use his safeword if he truly wasn’t comfortable with fooling around in such a public space.

“We - we’re gonna get caught!” He whispered urgently to you, his voice hushed but still strained at the very thought of it.

You found it entirely adorable - how scandalized he was by this. You had done far worse and you hoped that you could get him to sink to your level over time.

“You let me worry about that, pretty boy.” You told him firmly. “Now - are you gonna be good for me?”

You asked one more time, your voice demanding and hopefully fully relaying the meaning of your words.

Spencer had a choice.

And with you standing there, staring him down with heat in your eyes, looking like such a vision of lustful beauty, when he had been waiting so long for your touch, for your attention… it wasn’t much of a choice at all.

He only wanted you.

“Yes.” He squeaked out quietly, swallowing thickly around his own doubt. “Yes, I’ll be a good boy.”

You grinned a wide Cheshire grin at his words, and in a moment, you were on him.

You possessively gripped at both sides of his blazer, easily bending him to your will. You surged forward and met him as you forced his body to bend downward, capturing his mouth in a demanding, heated kiss.

It was a tiny murmur in the back of your mind, reminding you that this was actually your first kiss with Spencer. You had already seen him naked and made him cum, and you were just now getting to taste his sweet lips. It was a funny thought.

In that moment, any worry about potentially getting caught easily flew from Spencer’s mind - any logic quickly dripped out of his ears.

He moaned beautifully into your mouth, and as you echoed a sound back, you had to wonder why you hadn’t kissed him sooner. He seemed to be a natural at it - or, this was the one thing that he had some real practice at. Which you were entirely thankful for. His lips were smooth against your own, heated and desperate, surging forward with intense gyrating motions - almost as if he was trying to consume you with his intense hunger.

Though in a moment, he easily fell under your control.

You reached a hand up to the back of his hair and took a tight grip there, holding him like he was a beautiful object that you owned, just a toy for you to play with. He let out a sharp whine from the back of his throat, and his jaw fell slack for a moment, allowing you to bite down on his bottom lip - hard, assuring him who was in charge.

The shock of pain from the bite had his hips bucking forward, and surely enough, you felt him fully hard, brushing against your hip through both of your clothing. He whined even sharper as he felt the roughness of the lace pressing against his cock, brushing against him with more force as he humped himself against you. It stung roughly and sent beautiful shocks of pleasure pulsing through him.

“What do you want, pretty boy?” You breathed against his lips.

Still desperate, needy for contact, he left a sloppy kiss on your chin before he spoke to answer the question.

“C-Can I touch you?” He whimpered out quietly. “Please.”

Your lips formed a wicked grin against him at this.

“Anything over my clothes.” You told him. When his hands still hung limply at his sides, you threw in some encouragement. “Come on, baby, touch me.”

You did have to wonder if he would have been bold enough to reach under the hemline of your dress - even if you hadn’t given him explicit permission. You wondered what he would have done if his fingers had gotten as far as your underwear. But with your instructions, he had full access to your ass and breasts and you were curious to see what he would do within the rules.

You dove in for another kiss, boldly possessing his mouth with a commanding strength once again. He whimpered against your lips and - feeling as needy as he was, he eagerly followed your instructions and began feeling you up over your clothing. His hands started out humbly on your hips as your experienced, certain lips battled against his needy, rapid ones. But soon enough, he became anxious and impatient with simply grabbing on your love handles through the cotton of your dress, and he needed more.

You yanked on his hair again and took advantage of his gasp-parted lips to shove your tongue into his mouth, your body pressed firmly against his with him leaning against the wall for support. His hands began to eagerly wander, consuming your flesh for the first time and truly getting a taste of what it was like to not just be commanded by you, but what it was like to be with you.

He began grabbing the roundness of your ass in needy handfuls, his touch truly exploratory - he didn’t touch you with any skill, didn’t touch you like he was trying to get you heated and turned on. He touched you because he wanted to touch your body, badly. He was simply displaying his own hungry need for you without even considering shame in doing so.

And that was something that caused you to moan into his mouth as you raked your tongue along his teeth. He even reached a hand up and shoved it between your two bodies, groping at your breast with absolutely no grace. He was digging his fingers into the flesh like he was trying to rip it off your body and possess it entirely. It was something so filled with need that it made you so damn hot, made your cunt ache between your thighs.

You knew that you wouldn’t be able to end the day without cumming - whether it be with his help or simply having him watch and beg to touch you.

You had so many plans for him. And you couldn’t wait to see them all play out before your eyes.

You felt his erection against your leg, throbbing with just as much need, and you felt that devilish urge rise up inside of you again.

You pulled away from his lips with a wet smack, the realization hitting you once again that - yes, technically, you were in a public setting. The thought sent a thrill through you, but you had to be at least somewhat careful, lest you get caught.

“You like touching me, baby?” You cooed against his cheek.

“Yes, Miss.” He breathed out.

When you opened your eyes partially, you had to contain a gasp.

His glasses were fogged up.

Just like something out of your fantasies, his glasses were clouded with steam from the heated exchange. But he didn’t seem to notice or care. From what you could see through the layer of dew, his eyes were screwed shut and he was far too focused on his lust. He was concentrating more on groping your breast with one hand and your ass with the other, giving small, aborted humps against your hip, clearly trying not to cum in his pants.

Oh god. You wanted to see him cum in his pants. Badly.

And it was rare that you didn’t get what you wanted.

“You want me to touch you?” You asked, nosing along his long, beautiful neck.

“Should - should we go home first?” He asked quietly.

Clearly, he was still afraid of getting caught.

“Hey, shh.” You breathed against his skin, causing him to shudder. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it. You let me do all the thinking, baby. Just answer the question,”

“Yes.” He moaned quietly. “I want-”

You didn’t let him finish, and cut him off with another heated kiss.

You distracted him with this, and he whimpered sharply against your lips the moment your hand was on him.

You groped his cock harshly through his pants, your hand skilled in a direct contrast to the way his touch was clumsy and only fueled by need. You knew exactly what you were doing, knew exactly how to drive him where he needed to go.

Your demanding touch closed the pink lace of the panties roughly around the sensitive skin of his cock. The feeling of it - being reminded of his little filthy secret, the thing that the two of you shared. That, on top of the fact that he had already been so close from the thrill of getting to touch you and grope you freely for the first time - that set him off so damn easily.

He didn’t have a moment to warn you that he was cumming or ask for permission. The only warning you got was a pathetic choked off moan that came from the back of his throat before his hips jolted into your hand, and the stuttering movement of his legs was a sure sign to you that he had cum inside his pants.

You pulled away from his lips to admire your work.

His face was nicely flushed, continuing to add to the fog clouding up the lenses of his glasses. His hair was entirely messy and tousled, giving an absolutely sex crazed look to him even though he still had all his clothes on - clothes that were wrinkled and messy, adding even more to the look. His pants with a slight damp spot forming on the crotch as his load soaked through the thin fabric of the panties and began to soak into his pants as well. You couldn’t help but to give his sensitive cock an extra little squeeze through his pants, causing him to whimper harshly and shake at the touch.

You loved seeing him so fucked out and pathetic.

“I - I’m sorry!” He immediately began to apologize, reaching to pull down his vest in an effort to cover his crotch, as though wanting to hide the evidence of his orgasm that was rapidly soaking into his clothes. “I’m sorry, Miss!”

Of course, he thought he had made some grievous misstep but breaking the rule - by not asking permission before he had cum. When it was something you had been gunning for, wanting him to cum for you.

“Hey, shh, shh, it’s okay baby.” You murmured against his skin. “It’s okay.”

Before he could think too hard about it or get too swept up in his emotions (and frankly, before the two of you could get caught in such a state) - you grabbed one of his hands and then dragged him out of the museum completely. You barely slowed from a brisk walk until the two of you got back to the car. Even with Spencer holding his vest down over his crotch out of embarrassment, if anyone took a second look at his wrecked hair, dewey glasses and kiss-swollen lips, they absolutely would have known what had happened to him, and you loved the thought of it.

…

You spent the entire ride home assuring him that he had done nothing wrong.

It took a lot of soothing from your voice and a few well placed gropes to his crotch over the car’s console with your other hand on the wheel. This got him hard again, made him distracted from beating himself up for not being able to follow the rules explicitly. Instead, now he was focused on the way his throbbing cock felt swimming around in his own cum-soaked underwear.

He didn’t need to feel guilty for not following the rules. You didn’t intend to punish him for breaking that rule, because he had just been too pretty while breaking it. Besides - you couldn’t imagine spanking someone so soft and new.

You couldn’t imagine saying no to him.

In all honesty, you kind of hated yourself for going soft. This would be the first time since you had become a dom that you hadn’t punished a sub for breaking a rule. But this wasn’t just any sub, this was Spencer. You couldn’t explain why, but he was just allowed to get away with things. He deserved to be spoiled.

By the time you did get home, Spencer was breathless and filled to the brim with need once again. If his tears had been from self punishment and guilt at first, they were now from sheer need. He was desperately wringing his hands in his lap to keep from pawing at you because he felt that he had not been given permission to do so during the car ride.

When you pulled into your parking spot, he looked over at you through his now clearer glasses lenses with big, wanting eyes.

“You’re sure that you’re not mad, Miss?” He asked quietly, giving an adorably dramatic sniffle.

“I am absolutely not mad, baby.” You told him. “It’s difficult to ever be mad at you when you’re so damn pretty.” You ‘booped’ his nose at this, and the smile he gave was so genuine that it made your insides glow with pride. “Now, what do you say we get you out of those soiled clothes and into something more comfortable?”

“I - I didn’t bring a bag.” He said, looking over to his car across the lot longingly.

“You didn’t bring a bag to the sleepover?” You cooed. “How silly, baby.” Spencer looked entirely downtrodden, as though all of his plans for the day were ruined. “I’m sure that I can find something for you to wear.”

This conjured up a delightful image in your mind of him wearing more lingerie. But no, you needed to find him something comfortable instead. He had been good, and he deserved to be rewarded for it. You were sure that despite the size difference, he would be able to fit into some of your pajama pants with the waist tie knotted up a few times. Hopefully the waistband wouldn’t absolutely fall off him.

He seemed more upbeat at this, and the two of you got out of the car and went up to your apartment, Spencer easily following your lead, as always. He carried your purse loyally, something you found to be a covert turn-on. You liked seeing the subtle ways he could serve you.

When you got up to your apartment, you tossed your keys into the bowl where you normally kept them, and Spencer made a point of hanging the long strap of your bag on the coat rack - something you found so entirely cute.

You then took Spencer to the kitchen to get him a glass of water to help him calm down. The entire time he drank it, you gently stroked his hair and told him what a good boy he was. This seemed to relax him entirely, which satisfied you on a deep level.

Then, you grabbed his hand and steered him in the direction of the bathroom to help him clean up. With his shoes already ditched near the front door, you peeled off his blazer and threw it over the back of the couch along the way, not giving him a moment to speak about hanging it up ‘properly’ or whatever else was gonna come out of his mouth before you bustled him along to the next room.

In your quaint apartment, the bathroom was at the end of the hallway, and he caught a small glimpse into your bedroom before you continued shoving him down the hall. He saw twinkling lights and pink silken sheets and felt his stomach tingle - it was nothing like he had imagined it, but he kind of loved that.

Your bathroom was just as entracing.

The tiles were pearlescent blue - obviously vintage, along with a clawfoot tub to match, and you had decorated everything with quite a beautiful sense of style to match. A floral blue shower curtain, a fuzzy blue bath mat, and a small golden cart in the corner holding all of your different products. Spencer had the urge to pick up the bottles and start smelling them, wondering if he could get more of your amazing scent right from the source, or if it was the unique, distinct combination of those products along with your natural skin oils that made you so intoxicating.

You shut the door gently behind the two of you when you got him into the small room. He found himself pressed right up against the counter of the small bathroom vanity, his back to the ornate mirror and your back to the door. This left only a few inches of space between your two bodies as you looked up at him with a gentle, sweet expression.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” You told him.

Spencer smiled at you.

“And then, after you’re all nice and clean, I think you can have your reward.” You told him, your voice low and dripping with decadent promise. “You were a very good boy today.”

“I was?” He said eagerly.

Then, after a moment, he realized that he shouldn’t be questioning it. Because it was against the rules to question your judgment, and because you had just told him that he was deserving of a reward.

“I mean - yeah, I was.” He quickly corrected himself, trying to sound confident in this statement.

You let out a soft chuckle at this. Then, you gently grabbed his chin and pulled him into a soft, sweet kiss.

“You were, baby.” You told him confidently. “You were a very good boy today.”

You absolutely adored the look on his face as you said this. His features became so soft and hazy, almost as if he was drunk. Clearly he was so high on the praise, loving knowing that he had behaved well for you, that you were giving him your stamp of approval and that he was about to be well rewarded for it.

“Do you know what you want as your reward?” You asked, curiosity bubbling up inside of you.

Spencer’s eyes filled with equal parts glee and contemplation. This was such a mighty question.

As the question hung in the air, you reached up and gently took off his glasses, placing them on the counter beside the sink. As good as he looked in them, you didn’t want to accidentally knock them off his face and break them while you were stripping him out of his clothes. You then reached for the bottom of his sweater vest, still reeking with curiosity as to how he would answer the question.

He imagined all kinds of things - one of the obvious ones was of course, sex. Full blown intercourse. But something deep inside of him told him that he wasn’t sure if he was quite ready for that. Part of him feared ‘messing up’ and still felt self conscious - like he should perform well and impress you, even though you quite clearly took the lead and hadn’t been unimpressed with anything from him so far.

Deep down, he did know that his first time would be comfortable, safe, and beautiful if it was with you. And truthfully, he didn’t want it to be with anyone else. He couldn’t picture his first time having intercourse if it wasn’t with you in his ear, cooing about what a good boy he was.

But still, he wasn’t quite ready for that yet.

You got the vest off over his head, humming a calming tune quietly under your breath - a sign showing him that you were okay with the quiet, giving him time to contemplate his answer. As much time as he needed. You got to work on the buttons of his shirt, slowly and delicately undressing him as though he were a precious doll. It was something that caused goosebumps to form across his skin.

He thought more about it.

So - he didn’t want to ask for intercourse.

He definitely wanted to touch you more. He liked touching you - he loved touching you. He definitely wanted permission to touch you under your clothes, to explore your naked body. He thought it might be silly to simply ask for his reward to be ‘touch naked breasts please’. You might find that silly.

No, he could do better than that.

When you began to peel the sleeves of the shirt off his shoulders and it caused a quiet shiver through him, that’s when it struck him.

“I know.” He said quietly. “I know now.”

“You know what you want your reward to be, baby?” You prodded gently, gathering the fabric of the shirt in your hands and tossing it into the laundry basket behind you.

Perhaps you would get up early the next morning and do a load of laundry to wash his clothes so he could have something to wear home. You were struck with the vision of him wearing a pair of your sweatpants and one of your big comfortable tee-shirts walking back to his apartment from your car. You wondered - if the two of you were going to continue having these ‘sleepovers’ if you should clear a drawer for him to keep some clothes at your place and vice versa. That seemed far too domestic in your mind, but it just made good sense, didn’t it?

You were snapped out those thoughts when Spencer finally gave you his answer.

“I want to give you pleasure.” He breathed out quietly. “You’ve given me pleasure. I want to pleasure you.”

His choice of words was somehow utterly adorable and spine-tingling at the same time. He sounded like a dreamy paperback smut novel come to life. But as you reached for the buckle of his belt to continue undressing him, you had to ask for clarification, just to be sure.

“What do you mean by that, Spence?” You asked, punctuating the sentence with the click of the belt buckle.

“I -”

He let out a hot breath as you pulled his belt completely from the loops and let it fall to the bathroom floor with a quiet ‘clunk’. His next words were paired with the sound of the zipper teeth on his trousers coming down.

“I want to give you an orgasm.” He let out a quiet whimper when your hand grazed his dick as you worked the fly of the pants apart. “I want you to teach me.” He said quietly, his voice a lot weaker as he became dizzy with pleasure once again.

“You want me to teach you, huh?” You purred.

You became temporarily distracted from this thought when you peeled his pants down further and the most delicious sight was revealed to you. His cock, half hard and still trapped inside the pink lace - which was now stuck to his shaft completely with his own cum. Just as you had imagined in your fantasies, it was absolutely wet. Slick like a pretty pink floral second skin as it sat below his waistline, making his sticky pubes and his sensitive cock look even more sinful while he sat marinating in his own load.

You couldn’t help yourself - you reached forward and greedily groped his cock through the lace. You went so far as to trap the sensitive pink cockhead between your fingers and wring the roughness of the fabric around it, knowing that it would get a reaction out of him. Spencer sobbed with overwhelming pleasure and bucked his hips forward, such a beautifully broken sound. When you continued the motion, he surged a hand up to grab your wrist as he twisted his body slightly away from you - clearly overstimulated.

You stopped the roughness in exchange for a gentle petting of your fingertips, and you leaned in to nose across the skin of his neck once again.

You surprised yourself when your next words flew out of your mouth, almost without restraint.

“Hey, shh. It’s okay, Mommy’s just looking.” You told him in a hushed tone.

The moment that the word escaped your lips - Mommy - your gut dropped with crippling fear. You thought that he would hate it or become disgusted by it. But he let out another whimper, and when you looked into his eyes, you were met with nothing but a sharp burning and a reckoning that he had absolutely no clue he would have liked to call you that up until then.

You left the air blank for a moment, giving him time to adjust - time to back down from it if he wanted to. Or time to rise to it if he wanted it just as badly as you did.

“M-?” He squeaked out, and you gave him patience. “Mommy?” He said quietly, testing the waters.

He found that a warmth washed over him, and he liked it far more than he thought he would have.

Your breath caught in your throat and you held back a moan. Your muscles shook slightly as you resisted the urge to jump him - to make him say it again, with more desperation, with more lust. There would be plenty of time for that, you told yourself.

“Yes, baby?” You answered quietly.

“Can I take them off now?” He asked, referring to the panties feeling damp and cold and uncomfortable on his skin at this point. “You said you had some pajamas for me?”

You smiled at him. “I’ll take these off and clean you up a bit and then I’ll get you some pjs. Okay, baby?”

He nodded.

“Yes, M-Mommy.” He stuttered slightly, still wearing in the nickname - but he loved it.

He loved how it was warm and comfortable and familiar, and much less formal than calling you ‘Miss’.

‘Miss’ was a nice teacher, someone good at making rules, but ‘Mommy’ was someone he could make a home out of. At least he hoped that’s what the two of you were doing. ‘Mommy’ didn’t seem too strict about the rules, and honestly, Spencer liked that.

You helped him peel out of his slightly wet pants and completely ruined, soaked underwear. (You would definitely be washing those for a future use.) You tossed both items into the hamper, and then peeled off his cute (once again mismatched) socks and tossed those aside too before you grabbed a washcloth and soaked it with warm water to clean him off with.

The entire time you wiped down his cock, he let out sweet whimpers and gently bumped into your touch. By the end, it was almost difficult to keep him clean, because his cock was fully hard and leaking precum slightly as you smoothed the warm cloth over his lower tummy and made sure to gently clean off his balls. It was oddly adorable, him making a mess faster than you could clean it up.

When you were satisfied with this, you tossed the cloth into the sink and gave him a kiss on the cheek, telling him that you would be back shortly with a change of clothes for him.

It was only when he was standing alone in the bathroom that he felt exposed - only then realizing how truly well… naked he actually was. He crossed his arms over his chest, trying not to be embarrassed by it as he awaited your return.

After what felt like far too many minutes for his taste, you returned with something pink and soft looking in your hands.

The panties had been surprising, and while itchy, had made him feel… oddly pretty. He would be hesitant to admit it aloud, but you were already making him grow to like the color pink and how it made him feel.

You unfolded the piece of clothing and held it up for him to look at. It was a pair of long pajama pants that obviously belonged to you. (Spencer worried that the waistband would be too large for him, even with the tie that was available). They were made of a silken, soft material that seemed like it would be very light and comfortable to wear. They were a rosy pink color, very girly and feminine. Very pretty. He also noticed that you hadn’t brought a shirt for him, but he supposed that he didn’t have to worry too much about that. You had already seen him naked. Twice now.

“Good?” You posed.

Spencer nodded. “Thank you.” He said, giving you a small smile.

He felt that warmth coming over him once again when you helped him step into the pants and even pulled the fabric up over his body, going so far as to secure the tie around his waist, making sure the loose fabric wouldn’t fall off his hips. The thin, very unforgiving fabric easily showed every single detail of his cock through it - his hardness now perfectly outlined in pink, which only made the heat growing under your skin swell to a dangerous level.

Lastly, you grabbed his glasses off the counter and put them back on his face, making sure that he would be able to see fully and pay attention during his next ‘lesson’.

“There.” You said, giving him another sweet kiss on the lips. “Mommy’s good boy is all clean.” Spencer preened at these words. “And pretty as a picture.”

You delighted in the obvious blush that this last comment drew from him. You couldn’t help it - you loved praising him so sweetly, especially if it drew those kinds of reactions from him.

“Now, baby, I want you to go sit on the couch and wait for me.” You told him gently. “I have to go and put on something a little more comfortable for myself.”

You held back a devilish smirk. Of course, he had to think that this would mean you were going to put on some casual cotton pajamas - something genuinely comfortable and not at all a fulfillment to the male fantasy. And sure, you felt comfortable in lingerie. It made you feel beautiful.

That was part of the reason you were going to do it.

That, and you felt the need to make everything special for Spencer. This was going to be the first time he saw you in such a state of undress. Of course, you could argue that him seeing you in your panties and camisole a few nights ago had been pretty much the same, and he had looked upon you like you were a goddess then. But it had been practically dark then and you wanted this to be well lit and truly a fantasy come to life for him.

“Yes, Mommy.” He said, giving a small nod.

He left and walked out to the living room, going to sit on the couch as you had instructed, and you felt a delightful mischievous streak as you went into your bedroom and picked out what you would wear.

As you got dressed, you thought more about what he had said.

He wanted to give you an orgasm.

It would be very nice to have him inside of you. He had one of the nicest cocks you had ever seen - he was so long and beautiful, and seeing him inside of the fleshlight had caused you to imagine what he would feel like inside of you.

But you knew that if you let him fuck you, he would be clumsy. He didn’t have the technique or experience. Or the stamina. That was definitely something you wanted to work on first. And with how he had reacted from cumming in his pants earlier that day - something you had wanted, he likely would have a crash and be terribly anxious if he came while fucking you and you didn’t get to cum first.

Making you cum seemed to be his primary goal.

That brought you to the thought of putting him on his back - riding him, essentially using him like a human dildo. It would be intensely hot - having him below you, completely at your mercy. Getting to listen to his moans and whines and getting to see him completely fucked out underneath you while his perfect cock throbbed deep inside of your pussy. It would be perfect.

But - he wouldn’t learn anything that way. If he wanted to learn how to make you cum, it certainly wouldn’t happen like that. He would be fucked stupid and you would cum, and you would certainly enjoy yourself. But he would be brain dead and cum drunk. He certainly wouldn’t learn or retain anything from the experience.

No - if he wanted to learn how to make you cum, and if he wanted to put his genius to good use, then there was one certain way to do it.

You were fully satisfied with your plan. You took one last look in the mirror, and you were fully satisfied with your look, too.

You had put on a push-up bra with a black and red lace pattern, something that displayed your breasts well. With the padding and the ‘push-up’ effect, it definitely gave the cartoonish, fantasy effect that you were going for. You had on the matching garter belt, which had a few lacy roses adoring it. You didn’t have it attached to anything, though you had considered wearing stockings, you didn’t think Spencer would like the texture of them. You thought he would much prefer to feel your naked skin against him. You simply liked the look of the garter belt hanging around your waist, accenting the plushness of your stomach.

You also put on a pair of the matching lacy black and red floral panties - they were fairly cheeky, letting half of your ass hang out, and fairly sheer so that your trimmed pubic hair could be seen through the fabric in the front. And lastly, you had thrown on a sheer, long black robe over the whole thing, giving a very ‘Moulin Rouge’ look to the whole thing. Along with a pair of six black heels - the kind that hurt your feet and you would only use to, well - go to bed and keep your legs above your head while wearing.

You looked like a sex dream, if you did say so yourself.

Rather than walking into the other room to get Spencer, you went over to your bed and propped yourself up on some pillows in the middle of it, making sure the fabric of your robe was billowing and appealing around you before you called out to him.

“Spencer, honey, I’m ready!” You called out. “You can come in now!”

You heard him coming down the hallway and you swelled with eagerness, almost too excited to see what his reaction would be.

When he pushed the door open, he immediately froze when his eyes were met with the sight of you.

Standing in the doorway put him right at the foot of your bed, and he thought for sure - at some point between here and the museum, he must have died and gone to heaven. Framed by the twinkling lights that were wrapped around the head of your bed, propped up on a variety of fluffy pillows - you were an image of perfection.

Your breasts were pushed up to your chin, especially with the angle you were laying at, so perfectly framed by the floral lace of your bra. There was so much for his eye to greedily consume, and he didn’t think he should be allowed to consume it all so shamelessly. The curved planes of your body, the beautiful, soft zig-zags of your stretch marks, like guides laid out for his tongue. The fabric showing just enough skin, showing off every curve of your womanly body, so thick and ready to dominate him at a moment’s notice.

There was a gentle power in the way you were lounging back, framed by the black, soft fabric of your billowing robe - your whole body relaxed as you waited for him. It made him want to press his forehead to the floor in a bow to you, made him want to beg just for the precious permission to touch you.

“Is - that-? Your-? Paja-mas-?” He squeaked out, every single word becoming a pitch higher, making his shock all the more apparent.

“Kind of.” You told him with a giggle. “This is what I wanted to wear for my good boy.”

“You - you wore this for me?” He swallowed thickly around these words, clearly in disbelief.

If you weren’t mistaken, you saw his cock twitch inside those silken pink pants. You loved how even though the fabric covered him, the outline of his cock was so entirely visible. The band of the pants being loose had caused them to slip so low on his hips, even causing the top bit of his pubic hair to be visible as he stood there, entirely uncaring (and likely unaware) of it.

“Yes, baby.” You told him. “Now, come sit on the bed.”

Spencer rushed to follow your instruction, almost tripping over your bedroom rug in the process. That caused you to bite your lip, holding back a grin - you wouldn’t want him to think you were laughing at him, after all.

Spencer gently sat on the edge of the bed with his feet still on the floor, his bum just barely grazing against your thigh. You found it adorable that he was still being so timid about making contact.

You spread your legs wide, and gestured between them.

“Come sit here.” You told him.

“Oh.” He said quietly.

He stood up then and looked at the space between your legs. His expression was very comparable to a man afraid of heights looking like he was about to take a dive off a cliff into deep water.

“It’s okay, Spencer.” You assured him. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, remember?”

“I know.” He said quietly. “It’s just - it’s all so new.” He whispered. “I - I want to be good.”

You wondered if the last part was about his ability to behave and follow the rules, or… if it was about something else.

“Spencer, baby, are you worried about impressing me?” You wondered aloud.

The expression on his face at this was very telling - a flicker of embarrassment, his hands twitching as he ached to play with his fingers, wanting to distract himself from the conversation.

“Look, I know you’re new to all this. I’m not expecting you to be some sex expert, or a porn star or something.” You assured him. “That’s why I’m here to teach you, baby.”

“What if I do it wrong?” He asked, his voice still so timid, so small.

“Then I’ll show you how to do it right.” You told him. “That’s why I’m here. I’m not gonna laugh at you, or yell at you. I’m just gonna show you what I like and how to do it right.”

It should have been obvious. Someone of his talent, his caliber, someone who had everything come so naturally to him his entire life, someone who had accomplished so much at such a young age - he was terrified of tackling something unknown, something he was afraid to mess up. He was afraid of being a bad student.

He had just enough time in the living room to sit and stew in those insecurities, and now you had to lovingly battle them.

“Come sit with me, baby.” You urged, leaning forward to pat the space on the bed between your thighs.

You scrunched up the fabric of your robe so he wouldn’t sit on it, and finally, he moved to crawl between your legs - kneeling on the bed with his feet tucked underneath his bum and his hands fidgeting in his lap. His knees were slightly brushing against your inner thighs, but he wasn’t sitting terribly close to you. That was something you left alone for now.

You sat up slightly, leveling your body with his, and ran your hand along his arm, trying to soothe him.

“So, you said you wanted to learn how to give me an orgasm, right?” You posed.

Spencer nodded.

“Come on, use your words.” You told him.

“Yes, Mommy.” He said quietly, clearly still feeling insecure and hesitant. “I want that.”

He could only imagine how beautiful it would be so see you writhing in pleasure - to hear you calling out his name as you orgasmed, breathless. To see your body arching up off the bed as he brought you to climax. He could only imagine the headrush it would cause him to know that he had caused it for you.

“Well, I think the best way for you to do that is by using your hands.” You explained. “Stimulating me with your fingers.”

“My hands?” He questioned, looking from you down to his hands in his lap.

Honestly, it was never something he had thought about. Yes - he used his hands to make himself orgasm, but that was only because he was alone. The act of masturbation was more like a mind-clearing chore for him than anything. (Before you came into his life and turned all of his ideas about sex upside-down.)

He did have to consider that you used your hands to stimulate yourself, to masturbate - but he had no clue how.

But he guessed that would be part of the learning process.

“Yes, baby.” You smiled eagerly. “And I know you’re gonna be good with your hands. You’re very skilled because you do all that sleight of hand and close up magic.”

Spencer felt a rush of confidence at the praise, and couldn’t stop the grin that formed over his face at your words.

“Well, you see, sleight of hand doesn’t actually require that much dexterity or skill, like playing a sport does, because it’s more so about practicing the same movement over and over again until it becomes ingrained muscle memory.” He explained, easily sounding in his element.

You couldn’t believe how easily he had set you up for your next words. It was almost like he had walked into a trap.

“Well, what I’m going to teach you is also about repetitive movements.” You explained. “And it will definitely become muscle memory for you over time.”

Spencer smiled fondly hearing this. He was now more confident that he would be good at what you were going to teach him.

“So… where do we start?” He asked, becoming that eager student once again.

“Here, let me look at your hands.” You told him.

He was slightly confused by this, but didn’t have time to question it because you snaked your hands under his palms where they were sitting in his lap. His dick had wilted slightly from the anxiety, so he was only half hard in his pants. But he let out a small whimper when you accidentally crazed against it as you took his hands in yours and lifted them up to get a good look at them.

“It’s important that your nails are trimmed.” You told him, lifting his hands up close to your face to get a good look. “You don’t want your nails to be too long, or you might accidentally hurt me. And that’s just a general rule whenever you’re putting your fingers inside someone.”

He became slightly intimidated at the idea of putting his fingers inside you, but he tried not to let it show.

“I trimmed my nails last night.” He said, proud that he had done something good. “It’s a good grooming habit.”

He didn’t want to bring up the fact that - per his germophobia, he always kept his nails trimmed because he was afraid of too much build up getting under his nails and making him sick (even though he washed his hands multiple times a day). But he was just glad he could do something to please you.

You couldn’t stop staring at his hands. It was something you had noticed before in passing - but they were gorgeous. He had such strong, prominent muscles here. Long, thick fingers - he was going to do very well at this. Once he was well trained up, you knew you weren’t going to be able to go for very long without having those fingers inside of you.

“Very good, baby.” You said, finally snapping out of your lustful revere.

You raised one of his hands up and kissed the back of it. And then, continued on, kissing a path along his hand to his knuckles until you reached the tip of his middle finger. As natural as ever, you gently sucked his middle and ring finger into your mouth. Of course, you were just playing around, admiring. His hands were so nice that you couldn’t help but to have one in your mouth.

“Oh,” Spencer moaned quietly.

When you looked over at him, he was staring you down with lustful eyes. His lips slightly parted as his gaze locked onto the place where your lips drew his fingers in, taking him down to the second knuckle. You gently swirled your tongue around the digits as you enjoyed the thickness in your mouth. You could lightly taste floral soap on his skin and knew that he had washed his hands in the kitchen sink when you had sent him out to wait for you.

After a moment of this, you pulled back, your lips separating from his skin with a wet ‘smack’. (Though you wanted it to be longer - you loved those fingers, you could have easily held them in your mouth for a long time).

“Yeah, these are good fingers.” You assured him, giving him a deliberate wink. “You’re gonna be good at this, Spence.”

Spencer shuddered with pleasure at this.

You leaned back onto your pillows, making yourself comfortable while he watched in awe.

“I’m gonna take off my underwear now. Is that okay?” You asked gently.

“Yes.” He said, nodding eagerly. “Yes, Mommy.”

You lifted your hips to wiggle out of them. When the fabric was at your knees, he naturally met you halfway, taking the panties down your calves and very delicately untangling them from around your high heels. He concentrated on the task in a way that told you he wasn’t even trying to take a premature glimpse at your naked cunt. It was entirely endearing.

Once he had the fabric completely untangled from your shoes, you naturally moved your legs to bracket them around his body once again. This completely exposed your wet pussy to the cool air, and he stared at the underwear in his hands, clearly perplexed about what to do with it now.

“Just toss it on the floor, baby.” You told him.

He did so, and then, with nowhere else to look, his eyes locked onto your naked pussy for the first time.

Paintings and pictures had shown him the scientific side or even the objective beauty of the female anatomy. But seeing you laid bare before him, adorned in lacy accoutrements - this was truly sexy.

His blood ran hot, and his cock throbbed to full hardness in a dizzying record time as he laid eyes on the glistening lips of your pussy. Seeing how real you were - the way your skin tone faded from the shade that matched the rest of your body to the more raw, wet skin of your inner folds, clearly swollen with need. Your pubic hair, slightly trimmed and glossy with your wetness - everything about you was so real and it made Spencer’s cock ache.

“Scoot a bit closer, baby.” You told him, hitch your knees apart further, spreading yourself open for him. “Can you see okay?”

Your pussy made a wet sound as it spread open for him, and he let out a quiet gasp in awe as more of you was bared to his eyes. You were so beautiful, so raw, so perfect, so hot - he almost couldn’t handle it.

You knew he was likely becoming too entranced to answer the question. With the way his eyes were so tightly locked onto your cunt, you guessed that - yes, he could see just fine. Just seeing the utterly entranced expression on his face caused a throbbing heat through you, you were sure that if he paid enough attention, he would be able to see the wetness actively dripping out of you.

“Spencer, look at me.” You ordered sharply. “Look at Mommy.”

Spencer forced his eyes up to your face, and you smiled at him when he managed to follow the order.

“How much do you know about the female anatomy?” You asked him.

“I - I’ve read books.” He answered quietly.

“Good.” You told him, trying to be encouraging. “Do you know where the clitoris is?”

“I - um-” Spencer looked down at your pussy and found himself suddenly nervous again, not knowing if he should touch you, or if he should point, or-

“You can put your hands on me.” You told him. “I’m here to teach you, baby. Let me be your… in-person diagram.”

Spencer nodded.

Then, as naturally as he possibly could, he reached down and put a gentle hand on the top of your mound. He was so feather-light that you had to forcefully hold back a laugh, feeling ticklish at the touch. With his palm mostly spread out mostly over your pelvis, he used a thumb to pull your pussy lips back.

Then, he saw that very obvious swollen button staring at him. With the pointer finger on his other hand, he sought it out like a guided missile, entirely confident in his answer. Before he could truly think about it - he poked your clit with that singular finger, pointing to it as his answer.

“There.” He mumbled quietly.

“Oh-!” You breathed out sharply, your hips surging toward his touch.

His touch had been so abrupt (especially after so much anticipation on your part) that it sent an unexpected shockwave through your body.

Spencer immediately recoiled, believing that he had hurt you.

“I’m sorry.” He quickly apologized. “I’m sorry! Did I hurt you?”

He drew back both his hands instantly, curling them up to his chest as if he had done something terribly wrong.

“No, no you didn’t hurt me!” You quickly assured him, putting your hands up in a surrendering motion to drive the point home. “Everything is fine, baby.”

“Then what-?” He asked, his voice very meek and small. “What was that?”

“I’m sensitive, baby. My body is sensitive. And I wasn’t expecting you to do that.” You chuckled.

Spencer gave a small frown, clearly believing he had done something wrong.

“The clitoris has a lot of nerve endings.” You explained, giving a chuckle to try and lighten the mood. “That’s kind of the point. That makes things more pleasurable.”

“Oh.” He said.

After a moment, his body began to relax as he chugged with thought, his eyebrows knitting tight like they always did when he was pondering something.

“Oh… so that was… that was a good stimulation?” He posed.

“Yes.” You told him. “I want you to touch my clitoris because it feels good. It’s one of the easiest ways to make a woman feel good.”

He nodded, and then he moved his hands to touch you again. But you had a thought first. You caught his hands halfway, and held them in your own as you spoke.

“Listen first.” You told him.

He looked at your face obediently as you explained it to him.

“Typically, for women, there are two types of orgasms,” You put on your ‘teacher’ voice once again, and he relaxed and put his hands back in his lap, clearly eager and ready to listen, wanting to absorb the information to the fullest. “A clitoral orgasm or a vaginal orgasm. Can you guess what that means?”

Spencer thought about it for a moment.

“An orgasm achieved by clitoral stimulation versus an orgasm achieved by vaginal stimulation?” He posed.

You grinned. “Very good. Good boy.”

He grinned back, easily soaking up the praise.

“So, it depends on the person you’re with, but generally, most women achieve orgasm through a combination of both clitorial and vaginal stimulation. And a good rule of thumb is to always ask someone what they enjoy,” You told him. He nodded at this. “And also, looking at someone’s facial expressions and body language can tell you if you’re doing well at stimulating them. It’s like profiling.”

“Well… what kind of facial expressions and body language should I be looking for?” He asked.

You found this oddly amusing. To you, it was obvious that a back arching and lots of moaning and an ‘O’ face meant good sex, but Spencer was truly just that fresh. He simply didn’t know.

“Well…” You took a moment to gather a mental list for him. “Typically, someone makes a lot of involuntary body movements if the stimulation is good. Good sex stimulates your nerve endings, so it makes your muscles twitch, and it can even make your limbs flail around or make your back arch off the bed.”

Spencer nodded, his face still very intense and thoughtful as he took this in.

“And when people are enjoying sex, they usually make a lot of sounds. Gasps, moans. They might swear or call out your name. And most people do just tell you that they’re enjoying it,” You giggled.

Spencer nodded again. Then he posed a thoughtful question.

“What about facial expressions?” He asked.

“I know it might sound strange… but, you’ll know an expression of someone lost in pleasure when you see it.” You told him.

These words made his whole body tingle. And naturally, made him wonder what your face would look like when you were lost in pleasure.

“What do you prefer?” He asked. “Do you prefer clitoral stimulation or vaginal stimulation?”

“I prefer a combination of both.” You told him. “That’s usually what makes me cum the hardest.”

“You mean ‘cum’ as in orgasming?” Spencer said, repeating back this vocabulary to you with pride.

“Yes, baby.” You told him with a nod.

He beamed at getting the answer correct.

“I thought we could start with clitoral stimulation and then move on to vaginal stimulation.” You explained. “Usually it’s easy to… warm up with clitorial stimulation. It makes the vaginal muscles more relaxed before penetration.”

You found it odd to be using such clinical terms - the words were so stiff in your mouth, but you supposed that it was the healthiest way to explain everything to him.

Spencer nodded eagerly at this.

“You should wet your fingers first. Maybe spit on them?” You posed - this was a selfish request, wanting the delight of seeing him suck on his own fingertips.

“That doesn’t sound the most sanitary…” He said quietly, cringing.

Hearing him say this presented a new goal in your mind - getting him so fucked out and pliant that mister ‘it’s actually more sanitary to kiss’ would let you spit directly into his mouth.

You chuckled at his words, though.

“Okay, well… there’s lube in the drawer instead.” You said, motioning toward your nightstand. “Like I said last time, there’s no such thing as ‘too wet’.”

Spencer nodded eagerly and sat higher up on his knees to reach for the drawer. When he pulled it open, his eyes immediately grew wide at the array of… objects you had in there. Thick, veiny things, some round things he couldn’t even begin to propose the purpose of, something with small dots on it that looked like a cartoon tentacle-?

Knowing that he would become too distracted by these things and want to start asking questions, you reached over and grabbed the bottle of lube and snapped the drawer shut while his mind was still racing.

“Focus, baby.” You told him, putting a hand on his cheek and forcefully prodding his attention back in your direction.

He definitely had a lot of questions about those things. But he would ask you those questions later. (Because he certainly wasn’t going to forget about anything he had just seen.)

You handed the bottle of lube to Spencer. It was almost exactly the same as the one you had given to him and used with the fleshlight, except it was strawberry scented and the liquid was lighted tinted tinted pink as an association with the scent. It was your favorite to use with toys because the scent was absolutely delicious as a perfume in their air (and at this point, it was something you knew that you unconsciously associated with an orgasm).

You were naturally wet. You were throbbing and needy for him. But you knew that it would be nice to be extra slicked up to help him along.

After a moment of struggling (in which you pondered if you should interfere) he popped the cap, and then he looked from the opened bottle of lube to his hands.

“Right, so-” He mumbled quietly.

He poured a dollop on his extended fingertips that easily got carried away and dripped into his lap, and he gasped and began looking around for something to wipe it off his borrowed pants with.

“You can clean it up later, baby.” You told him. “Things are gonna get a little messy right now.”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Right. Yeah-”

Then, he looked back to the bottle in his hand, and before putting it aside, he poured a dribble of the pink liquid (likely more than he had intended) onto the top of your mound, causing you to gasp quietly as the coolness dripped down over your hot, needy pussy.

“Is that good, Mommy?” He asked quietly, moving to put the bottle aside.

“That’s very good, baby.” You encouraged him gently.

“Okay - I - I’m going to - touch you now.” Spencer told you, announcing his movements in an entirely adorable way.

You nodded. “I’m ready for you, sweet boy.”

Spencer put his non-lubed hand gently on your inner thigh, and then angled two of his fingers back toward your clit again. This time when he made contact, he was much gentler, and you let out a sharp breath through your nose, warm tingles spreading through your pelvis at the feeling of him touching your swollen clit with such intention.

With his middle and pointer finger, he began a strange sort of spearing motion, rocking his hand into your pelvis. He touched your clit as though it were a literal button he was trying to push over and over again in order to make you cum. The movement didn’t do much for you - except draw a slight stinging from the area.

“Baby,” You caught his attention, drawing his eyes up from where he was intensely focused, staring hard at the place where he was touching your pussy.

“Spence, it’s - it’s more like this,”

You motioned with two of your fingers in the air, drawing small circles, demonstrating to him what he should be doing.

“Sorry.” He mumbled quietly.

“It’s okay, baby.” You assured him, reaching out and petting a hand through his hair. “It’s okay. You’re learning, right?”

He nodded. “I’m learning. I’m gonna do better.”

“I know you will, baby. You’re Mommy’s good boy.”

This bit of encouragement and praise seemed to fuel him, and he took this new instruction with vigor.

He went back to work using the motion you had just demonstrated and immediately, the difference affected you. His thick, cautious fingertips circling tentatively around your needy clit sent tingles up your spine, causing a warming glow to spread through your body that was slowly, but surely building up your orgasm. The beautiful artificial smell of the lube wafted through the air, and with the sight of Spencer in front of you, his forearm flexing slightly as he worked, it was all too perfect.

You let out a gentle moan, and Spencer smiled.

“That’s good?” He asked, looking from the spot where his fingers worked on your pussy up to your face.

“That’s good, baby.” You told him, the stimulation causing you to become slightly breathless already. “You’re doing so good for me.”

Spencer continued like this, running his other hand along your thigh, clearly feeling needy to touch and enjoy the softness of your skin now that it was freely available under his hands. His touch spread a warmth throughout your body that had you squirming under him, letting out more gentle moans under your breath.

Spencer watched you in awe, so entirely pleased with the results.

“You - you can go a bit faster, baby.” You told him, finding your throat slightly dry as your breathing sped up, more blood pooling in your needy cunt as his touch demanded it. “Speed up your fingers.”

“Yes, Mommy.” He easily obeyed.

Hearing those words in his sweet voice in addition to his touch, his fingers now moving in fast, delicate circles on your throbbing clit - it brought sparks through your body and caused slight tremors through your thighs.

It wasn’t going to be the most earth shattering orgasm you had ever experienced, but it was going to be a good one, mostly because it was Spencer. Because you had him in your bed, calling you Mommy, wearing a pair of your silky pink pajama pants that his hard cock was now leaking a stain into. All while he concentrated on learning how to please you like it was the most important book he had ever read in his life.

“Oh, Spencer!” You called out, arching your hips toward him. “Doing so good for me, baby! So good-”

Spencer stopped his movements suddenly, and your voice caught in your throat as you looked at him with tense confusion knit over your brows.

“What - what about the vaginal stimulation?” He asked. “You said you wanted me to do both, right?”

You couldn’t hold back the breathy chuckle in your throat.

If it had been anybody else, you would have immediately thought that they were edging you intentionally. But no - that wasn’t even a thought in Spencer’s head. He was simply eager to learn more, wanting to do the most to give you the best orgasm possible. He wasn’t content with mediocre. When he learned something, he wanted to be the best at it. And that thought caused any disappointment about your fading orgasm to be replaced by pride - you had somehow captured the best, sweetest boy, and you were going to use that to your full advantage.

“Right, baby.” You said, still catching your breath. You swallowed to gather some spit in your mouth to talk properly before you continued. “Okay, you’re going to continue what you were doing with this hand, but first,” You said this pointedly, motioning to the hand that was unmoving near your clit, not wanting him to continue and impair your ability to properly explain. “You’re going to work your fingers inside me.”

“What if I hurt you?” He asked, clearly timid at the idea that he might hurt you in any way.

“You won’t.” You told him. “You start with one finger, because that’s smaller, so you won’t hurt me. And then once my body has adjusted to that, you can add another. So it won’t hurt.” You assured him.

“So, I just need to use two fingers?” He asked. “Also, how do I know when to put the next finger?”

“You can add three fingers.” You told him. “And I’ll tell you when to add the next one. And you’ll know because you’ll feel the muscles relax around you.”

Spencer nodded.

“So… what’s the best… kind of… movement?” He asked, awkwardly gesturing with his free hand in a way that made you giggle.

He blushed with embarrassment at this, and you rushed to speak in the hopes that he wouldn’t feel awkward.

“You’re going to move your fingers in and out. Like simulating intercourse. The repeated penetration feels good.” You told him. “Be gentle at first, and I’ll tell you if you should go harder or faster.”

Spencer nodded.

He began slow, gentle circles on your clit again, and you let out a small moan at this. And then he moved his other hand down, skimming the fingertip of his pointer finger along your folds until he felt it - that pulsing entrance waiting for him, needy. He thought he imagined it, but it almost felt like your body was trying to suck him in.

“It’s okay, baby.” You told him, your voice gentle and encouraging, slightly hazy with pleasure. “You’re doing so good for Mommy.”

These words caused his cock to throb inside of the borrowed pants, and feeling a pulse of confidence because of it, he pushed the thickness of his finger forward and breached your entrance with his touch for the first time.

It was such a brand new feeling - having your wetness surrounding his digit, feeling your muscles clamping down on him. Feeling how hot your body was, especially compared to the lifeless coolness of a silicone fleshlight. It made him moan louder than the sound you easily trapped in your chest. You found yourself dizzied with a wave of pleasure at seeing his face so fucked out and hearing him moan like that because he was touching you.

“You like it, baby?” You asked breathlessly, angling your hips into his clumsy, unmoving hands.

Clearly he was so pleasure drunk and hazy that he had forgotten that he was supposed to be fingerfucking you. He was simply exploring, enjoying the feeling. You didn’t fault him for it, and you didn’t want to rush him, even with a filthy, needy ache growing deep inside of you.

“You’re so warm.” He replied, his quiet voice edging between awe and another moan of his own.

His eyes flickered between the place where he was touching your pussy and your breasts, heaving slightly with your labored breathing, and your face. Your lips dropped open slightly with pleasure, your eyes becoming glassy. He loved it so much. He loved you. He couldn’t get enough of this.

“Your body is so hot.”

You grinned widely at this.

Maybe a huge part of the endearment came from the fact that you knew he meant temperature, and not the typical slang meaning your appearance. It was something that clearly surprised him, feeling how hot your pussy was while being in direct contact with it.

“Thank you.” You told him. “Can you fuck me now, Doctor Reid?”

“I - Right.”

Spencer resisted the urge to apologize again, knowing you probably wouldn’t like it. And he tried to ignore how much it turned him on to hear you call him ‘Doctor Reid’ in this context. Instead - he set his attention on pleasing you.

He concentrated on picking up a good rhythm - moving his fingers on your clit in circles while he gently drew back the other hand and began moving it slowly in and out, trying to penetrate you in a pleasing way. He instantly became entranced by the natural wetness dripping out of your pussy, covering his finger, his knuckles, spreading to his palm the more he moved his finger. He was fascinated by the way your muscles did seem to give way to him, your body opening up as if you wanted more.

“Add another one, baby.” You moaned quietly. “Another finger.”

So his instincts served him right. At least somewhat. He hoped that he could remember this for next time, and please you better with less of your instructions, working more off of knowledge and instinct like this.

When he drew back his hand to do as you instructed, you added on some further advice.

“It also works better if your palm is facing up.” You told him. “The curve of your fingers is working with my body, not fighting against it.”

Spencer had been prodding into your entrance, poking his finger into you in a more exploratory way - but he definitely understood this.

“Yes, Mommy.” He said.

He flipped his hand so that his palm was facing the ceiling, immediately fascinated by how sticky his wet finger was. Then he gently prodded forward again, his middle finger joining the first. He continued to draw circles on your clit - a rhythm that became clumsy and unfocused at times, because he was easily distracted by the feeling of your tight pussy clamping down on his fingers, trying to figure out how hard he should go.

He was being incredibly tame, almost sloth-like in his movements, clearly afraid to hurt you. And he left you burning up, aching for release. The thickness of his fingers felt so amazing inside of you, better than you could have imagined - but he was so timid, and you hoped that you could draw more out of him.

“Spencer,” You moaned lightly. “Go faster. Come on, be a good boy for Mommy.”

You reached out and got a hand in his hair once again, gently cupping the back of his head and scratching your nails along his scalp.

“Yes,” He hissed out, leaning his head into your touch. “Yes, Mommy. I’ll be a good boy. I’ll be so good for you.”

He kept his eyes locked on you then, and, entirely fueled by the intense feeling pumping through his body, the pure need to serve you - he began pumping his fingers faster. Though it was clumsy at first, after a few moments, both of his hands fell into a natural rhythm with each other. His fingers circling your swollen clit became well timed with the thickness of his fingers pumping in and out of you, and in a few minutes - it became perfect.

You went from letting out a few solitary sounds to every other one of your breaths becoming a moan, your lips perfectly parted, showing him how well he was doing.

When he saw your heated eyes and your lips wrapped around those moans so perfectly, that was when he knew it - that was a face of desire. The one he would spend the rest of his days trying to recreate in you.

“So good, baby.” You moaned out, your words becoming less durable as he stole them away with pleasure. “Go harder.”

“Harder?” He warbled back.

His wrist was beginning to shake, not used to this kind of repeated effort. (Truthfully, he wasn’t used to any more effort than hefting around a thick book for a while.) But he would keep it up for as long as it took to make you cum. He would do it until his arm fell off if he got to see you fall apart beneath him.

“Yes, harder!” You confirmed, giving a firm tug on his hair to encourage him.

Spencer let out a sharp whimper at this, and angled his elbow further between your thighs, trying to put less strain on the muscles of his wrist so he could do as you instructed.

He began rubbing your clit with more urgency, and fucked his fingers into you even harder. He let out a moan as the sound then got to his ears - the wet slapping of his knuckles smacking up against the edges of your cunt, so rough and careless. He really was fucking you, he was taking over your body at your command, his touch was being used for your pleasure, and you were definitely being pleasured by him.

“Spencer!” You howled, a sound that would stick in his mind forevermore.

It was something that caught his entire body on fire in seconds and made his dick ache with red hot pin-pricks. He was surprised that he didn’t cum in his pants from that alone. But he was far too concentrated on keeping up the pace, fascinated by the way your pussy spasmed around his fingers, the way your thighs jolted and shook in a similar fashion that his legs had a few nights ago.

“Oh, Spence! Good boy! Good boy, oh-!”

You let out a sharp gasp and your head tilted back, and you seemed to gulp for air for a few moments while he continued to brutally fuck his fingers into you and rock his fingertips against your clit, angling your hips into the touches as though you were trying to get more from him.

Though it seemed impossible, his knuckles were flooded with an even further wetness. And though he almost couldn’t bear to look away from your face, he did chance a glance down to your beautifully raw, fluttering pussy and saw that there was a distinct puddle of wetness on the sheets below you. You were the most gorgeous fountain he had ever seen.

If he didn’t think it was out of place, he would have leaned down to lick you, curious about what your natural wetness tasted like.

“Oh, Spence!” You squealed, and if he wasn’t mistaken, it almost seemed like you were trying to squirm away from his touch. “Oh - oh, baby! You can s-slow down now! You did - did s-so good!”

Spencer slowed down, as instructed. And then - when he put it together in his mind, he gently eased off touching you entirely, feeling your pussy spasming and throbbing harshly under his touch. It was fascinating really, the way your body responded to him. He badly wanted to explore it more - explore it for hours uninterrupted. But for now, he had a simple question.

“Was that the orgasm?” He wondered aloud.

The unadulterated curiosity bleeding through his voice when he said this had you clenching hard around his unmoving fingers, so entirely turned on by the fact that he was just as awed by you as he was fine art or any thousand page encyclopedia.

You couldn’t hold back the bright, breathless chuckle that escaped your lungs in response.

“Yes, baby, that was the orgasm.” You told him. “What did you think?”

“That was… spectacular.” Spencer told you, sounding almost as breathless himself.

“You can pull your fingers out of me now.” You instructed, feeling slightly sensitive, unconsciously clenching around the digits and accidentally overstimulating your raw pussy in the process.

“Oh. Right.” Spencer mumbled.

He moaned quietly as he did so - loving the purely wet sound it made, like pulling away from a good kiss. He found himself in awe of the string of wetness that followed his fingers from your opening, like a thick string of salvia. He began rubbing his fingers together, studying it with utter fascination as you watched him with that concentrated look on his face again. You wondered how you had stumbled upon such a treasure of a man.

Your eyes fell from his face to the prominent bulge of his cock still pressing into the front of those thin pink pants, the wet spot his precum made now even wider, and you immediately came up with a new idea.

“Why don’t you touch yourself for me, baby?” You posed. “Your hand is already so nice and wet.”

“Oh - I - I - should-?” Spencer stuttered out, looking from his glistening hands to the tent in his borrowed pants, a million thoughts flying through his very vast mind.

“Hey, shh, it’s okay.” You soothed him gently. “Just tell me if that’s something you want. Yes or no.”

“Yes.” He said, a desperate whisper on his lips. “Can - can you untie my pants for me?”

You hummed in agreement and reached over, untying the well secured knot on the pants and then pulling the loose waistband down over his thick, excited cock, letting it spring out to hit his pelvis. He moaned quietly at this.

“Make yourself cum for me, baby.” You encouraged him. “You were so good for me, you made me cum so good. Such a good boy. You deserve this.”

You began running your fingers through his hair again, something he seemed to heavily enjoy. Spencer - now wildly chasing his instincts, working on need alone and trying to push back all those doubts, reached out with those glistening fingers and gently dipped into your pussy again. The contact on your beating folds caused you to gasp, and Spencer shuddered slightly at this, mumbling out at an excuse.

“I wanted-” He muttered quietly. “I just… wanted it to be wetter.”

“Good boy.” You moaned out. You definitely didn’t want to discourage him from doing things like this.

You wanted to mention the fact that there was a bottle of lube sitting less than a foot away. But clearly he had developed a fascination for your wetness, and you didn’t want to stifle that fascination in him or embarrass him.

Spencer then took those slicked up fingers and stroked them across his cock. Just the knowledge that it was your wetness, the essence of your pussy touching his cock - that had dizzying waves fluttering through him that almost had him crumbling to fall on top of you.

It took all of his remaining composure to stay upright. He was so furiously turned on that his cock was leaking precum like a sputtering faucet. He easily took advantage of that, cupping his hand into a well-known grip around his shaft and spreading that natural lubrication down from the sensitive, leaking cockhead to the rest of his dick. This caused his neglected, needy cock to easily light up and unconsciously buck into his own hand.

“‘s too fast,” He whined out.

His face took on a desperate frown as he continued to pump his hand over his cock almost mildly, almost as if he were afraid to go harder.

He looked so beautifully wrecked - with his brows creased downward and his lip caught between his teeth, with that messy hand pumping his own leaking cock.

“Too fast?” You asked, unsure what he meant.

“It’s - it’s not-” He stuttered out, his brain becoming scattered and wordless to describe the feeling rushing through him.

“Hey, shh,” You scratched your nails against his scalp again, grounding him. “Use your words, baby. Come on, be a good boy.”

“Mommy!” He whined, his hips bucking forward desperately into his own hand, wetly smearing precum to the point where it became noisy. Your pussy throbbed at this and you resisted the urge to reach down and touch yourself, not wanting to distract him.

“Baby, come on. Tell Mommy.” You ordered firmly.

He sniffled loudly before he attempted more words.

“Gonna end too fast.” He whined sharply.

He sounded entirely petulant - as though he were truly upset that he was going to cum too soon and the night’s activities would be over. As though the two of you didn’t have plenty more nights to play.

“It’s okay, baby.” You told him, reaching a hand over to thumb across his cheek, wiping away some of the frustrated tears that had escaped. “You did so good for me. You’re so good.”

“I want more.” He whined out, clearly frustrated.

“Mommy will always give you more.” You assured him. “But right now, you’re gonna cum for me.”

He let out a wounded noise, some kind of protest, but his hips jolted as he continued to fuck his own hand. You had him right there.

“Cum for me.” You demanded, your voice dark and demanding.

It was a command he absolutely couldn’t ignore if he tried.

“Mommy! Oh! Oh!”

He let out a sharp cry as he came, and pumped himself through it.

Neither of you had considered where he was going to cum. On his knees in front of you like that, he ended up in the perfect position to spill his load right onto your exposed cunt. Just like the last time you had played, he exploded with a massive power. Though he didn’t seem to have any care for where he was angling his cock or what he was cumming on, simply continuing to chant ‘oh, oh, oh’ under his breath with his eyes beautifully screwed shut and his mouth wide open, delicately pumping his hand on his cock to ride his orgasm all the way through.

Thick, white waves of his cum landed on your pussy - startlingly warm, almost blazen hot compared to the cool air of the room. Something that easily made you moan, especially when paired with the beautiful sight of his orgasmic face in front of you and the way he so carelessly fucked himself, clearly only wanting to achieve his own pleasure and not caring if it was a good show or not - which was what made him so damn beautiful.

When Spencer had milked himself dry, his cock starting to go soft in his own hand and the pleasant tingles becoming more like harsh pin-pricks of overstimulation, he put a hand on the wideness of your thigh for support, his muscles shaking. And then he finally opened his eyes.

He felt even dizzier when he saw the sight before him - your gorgeously lingerie clad body and naked pussy now covered in the thick white of his spend. A small voice in the back of his head wondered if you could get pregnant from this, and another told him that - yes, it would be good if you did. You would look so good pregnant with his child. A child the two of you made together would be smart, beautiful, charismatic, brilliant and perfect in every aspect.

He hadn’t even fully acknowledged that he was in love with you yet, but that was the moment he knew for certain that he wanted you to be the mother of his children. There was no other woman in the world who would be comparable to you - no other woman as perfect for the task.

(He didn’t know that you were on oral birth control, so it didn’t matter if he had cum inside you - you weren’t going to get pregnant. Not without intending to.)

“Oh, did I-?” He motioned toward the mess, seeming worried.

Before he could apologize for it, you reached your fingers down and began lightly padding through it, and Spencer let out a wrecked moan at the sight.

“You did such a good job, baby.” You told him, still entirely certain.

Before he could comprehend it, you brought a finger up to your mouth - one covered in the combined essence of yourself and Spencer, and curled your tongue around it, moaning at the taste. Spencer could do nothing more than make unintelligible noises, and you giggled as you released the finger.

“Good boy.”

Spencer was dizzy and hazy from all the pleasure, and there was only one thing on his mind.

“Can I have a hug now?” He asked, his voice still sweet and soft.

“Yes, baby. Come here.” You spread your arms wide and Spencer practically launched himself at you.

He laid completely on top of you, and you wrapped your arms around him, stroking up and down his back lazily as you enjoyed the peaceful calm of his breathing.

After only a few moments, you felt him start to fall asleep like that. His muscles turned to jelly, and his breathing came out in long, soft puffs. He looked so adorable nuzzled into your breasts that you didn’t want to wake him up, even if the drying mess between your thighs was becoming uncomfortable, and you knew that he definitely wouldn’t want to sleep in it for too long.

You continued petting your fingers through his hair gently. You would wake him up in a little while and get cleaned up, you assured yourself.

You definitely weren’t falling for him, feeling things that extended far outside of sexual attraction.

Nope. Definitely not.

...

Note: This is a Capsule Series, so each fic can be read as an individual oneshot. There is no overarching story, and no specific ending.

I am not currently working on a continuation of this, and I don't know when I will be. If you enjoyed this and you want to see more from me, I highly encourage you to check out the rest of the works on my Criminal Minds Masterlist.

#sundrop writes #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds fic

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ivestas · 1 year

Note

Thank you for writing my request, I loved it!! I have another idea but it's a deeper subject so I understand not everyone is comfortable with writing about it. Could you write about a younger reader and the team see self harm wounds and scars while they were injured or while they were changing? (Something along those lines) and what they would do/ react? Xx

what is most precious to you?

Summary: The 141 discover a part of you that you’d wanted to bury.

Tags: TW s/elf harm scars + sui/cide and talk of it, please read carefully/don't read if this topic triggers you, platonic!141 x medic!fem!reader, reader implied to be mentally ill, younger!reader, descriptions of blood and injury, canon typical violence, soap + ghost focused, unedited

Word count: 1.5k

Notes: im glad u enjoyed the previous req anon! i hope I'm able to do this req justice too 🫡

You’d been a part of the 141 long enough for the others to know and trust you.

An esteemed medic that knew medicine and all things fixing like the back of her hand, despite your age—it was a natural skill, it seemed. Your hands were always so damn fast with a gauze—hell, even a dirty rag you’d make use of in an instant.

You were just good. Reliable. Consistent. Seemingly just a normal young lady whose only eccentricity was the job she chose to be: a medic for a merc group.

Soap often liked to joke about that normalcy that clung onto you.

“Bet when you’re on leave you work a 9 to 5 and sleep right at 8. I’m right, aren’t I?”

You snorted. “No, I’d sleep at 9.”

“Ohhhhh, daring! Don’t be too crazy! Ya might just lose a leg!”

Even Ghost would sometimes jump in, adding his own joke occasionally.

“Should I get you a planner for your birthday? A nice, minimalist one with neutral stickers to match.”

You’d scoff and jab back, whether it be at Ghost’s mask or Soap’s current and past hair-styles.

But they never gave you a tough time about it—they were glad that one of them was able to blend back to civvy life with ease.

Price even said it was his favorite trait—”sometimes, you need the practicality and mindset of a normal lady to get shit done.”

“Thanks?”

The guys all had a similar image of what your childhood was like: middle-class, parents all stiff-like and old-timey, your favorite hobbies probably were things like football or reading, things like that.

However, that image shattered during a post-mission intermission.

Things went wrong, completely askew—the enemies were clearly prepared for the attack, because landmines were everywhere and the area was crawling with hostiles.

It was a resounding loss—many casualties, wounded, etc.

You could hardly keep up, trying to patch up as many as possible, even when the sky rained of bullets and the air tasted thickly of gunpowder and death. It was like a place between purgatory and hell, a constant flow of shouts, screams, explosions.

It was too late for you to noticed a bullet grazed your arm; it was deep enough to be visible, but luckily it wasn’t aimed low enough for it to shoot into your arm.

You had ignored the wound—in your mind, it only made sense to focus on the soldiers who were fighting for their lives and riddled with bullet wounds.

So you just did that: focus on them.

But, due to the constant movement and strain, the graze only worsened, almost tearing. The adrenaline numbed the pain, but you knew it was gonna hurt like a bitch soon enough.

Luckily though, Ghost shouted in your ear through the comms.

“Bravo-1, retreat!—fuckin’ hell—everyone, retreat!”

You did just that—retreat.

Huffing and puffing, you were quick to run to the distant chopper you recognized as the 141′s. A haze of sand was the only saving grace as it covered you from the enemies direct line of sight.

Soap pulled you into the helicopter with a quick grab of your wrist, completely unaware of the graze that arm sustained. You let out a sharp hiss of pain, feeling the skin tear just a little more.

The entrance of the helicopter shut, and with both of you heaving, the plane finally shot back into the air, rocking back and forth the slightest bit. The sound of bullets slowly melted away into harsh whirring and mechanical buzz.

You took a moment to collect yourself, inhaling sharply before you got up, arm still bleeding.

But, strangely, you felt it drip along your arm and into your hand, running along your finger—ah, it should’ve been obvious, the sleeve of your wounded arm had completely torn.

You lifted the arm, examining the wound.

Scars of varying sizes, textures, and freshness—some having strange bubbly dots, others consisting of messy lines. Some of the fresher scars had torn a little, causing thin lines or red to rise.

Your blood ran cold. You glance up, hoping—praying—that Soap didn’t see, or even understand the implications.

But you could see he was staring, the cogs in his mind slowly snapping together.

You put your arm away to your side, hiding it from his view.

“Lass—“

“I need a medkit. We have one on the plane?”

You loathed the look of sadness, of pity that shone in his eyes, pulled at the muscles of his face.

Don’t. Stop.

I’m not weak. Don’t—I’m not weak!

A chorus of words, feelings, of palpable dark was what filled your mind now. Insecurity, self-hatred, all of it—you’d been working on it, trying to regulate, to reason with the miasma that had taken ahold of your consciousness.

But, fuck, you’ve revealed it to Soap of all people—he felt bad, didn’t he? Disgusted? Worried? He was gonna tell Price, wasn’t he? That your unfit for the 141, that—

A hand rested on the top of your shoulder.

“Can I patch you up?” Soap asked softly.

You grit your teeth. Moving away from his hand, you shook your head, glaring at the floor. A small splatter of blood was there. “I can fix it myself.”

You expected—wanted—him to berate you.

But he didn’t. He was kind.

“Sure, kid. I’ll just get ya the med kit—stay put.”

Another wave of shame rocked you. You sat on one of the small seats connected to the walls of the heli, rubbing away the small bits of dried blood.

Consumed by your thoughts, you didn’t hear Soap murmuring to Ghost.

“The kid—she, ah...” He ran a finger along his wrist. “Catch my drift?”

“Cutting herself?” Ghost said bluntly.

“Sometimes I wish you had a little more tact, L.T.”

Ghost ignored him. “They fresh or old?”

“Both,” he sighed, grabbing a med kit from one of the plane’s various compartments. “What’re we supposed to do? Don’t wanna scare off the kid, but don’t wanna leave her on her own devices hacking away at ‘erself!”

Ghost grabbed the kit from his hands. “I’ll handle this. You sit down—go near the Captain. Try to leave us some privacy.”

Hesitantly, Soap nodded. “Work your magic, sir.”

Ghost made his way to the other end of the helicopter where you were. You were hunched over your wound, a deep frown on your face. It’s uncharacteristic, but he knew it was a part of yourself you’d prefer to be shrouded in dark. Suffering wasn’t a nice look, was it?

But it was human. Denying your own right to feel it—it made Ghost frown too.

He sat beside you, kit in his hand. You had finally looked up then, alarmed.

“Gimme your arm, kid.”

You opened your mouth.

“Not leavin’ till I patch your arm up, so don’t even try.”

Shamefully, you lifted your arm slowly.

He took it with gentle but firm hands, a thumb running along a faint scar.

Ghost opened the kit haphazardly with another hand.

“When I was your age—maybe a little younger—couldn’t find much meaning in everything.”

He lifted his hand from your arm and grabbed alcohol and a small cotton rag. Dampening the rag with alcohol, he drew it to your arm, rubbing away the excess blood and cleaning the wounds. You didn’t make any noise, only breathing raggedly.

“The suffering was pointless, in my eyes; thought, ‘this isn’t bloody fair’. Born in a shitty house with a shitter father, food hardly ever on the table, my mind deteriorating, and the world cast in deep gray.”

You nodded.

Ghost grabbed a bandage gauze, unravelling it and wrapping it gently around the graze and the scars. It was calming, watching him work away, even if the wrapping was a little clumsy.

“The harsh reality came a little while later, and it’s that people like me—us—we gotta work hard for shit to change. That this weight forced upon us, it’s only we that can shed it off. It’s still not fair—frankly, suicide is easier. Thought of doing it for the longest time... But...”

He shook his head. “In my eyes, it’s a coward’s way out. We should never die by our own hands—there’s always something to live for.”

“What are you living for?”

“Mmmm.... For tomorrow’s pint.”

You laughed.

He grabbed a safety pin and pinned the end of the gauze. “...now, I know it’s ‘silly’ to say, but you know we’re here for you?—the 141′s got your back, kid—how about this, let’s make a deal.”

“Yeah?”

“You ever have the urge to cut yer arm, you come straight to me, or the others. They’ll listen. They care.”

They care.

It’s weird, but hearing the words said out loud, it hit you.

They really care.

You took in a shaky breath. “Thank... you.”

“It’s no problem at all, kid. Stay strong.”

AO3

Masterlist

Requests are open

#modern warfare x reader #modern warfare 2 x reader #cod x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #soap x reader #tw s/elf harm #idk if its an unpopular opinion to assume ghost has some variation of depression #but its a personal headcanon!#john mctavish x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #simon riley x reader #mw2 x reader

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classpectpokerap · 1 month

Text

gonna go completely insane for a second here.

was thinking about mspar. who will obviously not. appear in hsbc. bc it makes almost no thematic sense for that to happen

but like… i made a connection. that i want to talk about.

mspar in pq is defined by two things, early on

really, really, really fucking hating the direction the epilogues took the "story", and wanting to take it into their own hands to fix it.

like, the imagery about this being a Bad Thing is pretty unsubtle. in the prologue, mspar literally tramples over homestuck panels, crushing them underfoot. and by the end of pq, what they have done isnt just create a new timeline where "everyone is happy," they've overwritten homestuck to do it. theyve Literally retconned the story and replaced it with their fanon ideas of how to "fix" things. that's why ultdirk and the director have to come and tell you that it needs to stop.

there's a lot more about mspar's actions in pq being like… pretty unambiguously villain shit, in my reading, but thats a sort of separate ramble to what i wanted to be insane about (let me know if you want me to ramble about. mspar being the bad guy. another time.)

basically. mspar's design looks a hell of a lot like doc scratch. obviously. theyre both round-headed narrators.

doc scratch's textbox is literally just mspar's inverted. theyre foils, in a sense. scratch enables canon while hurting everyone to do it, and mspar enables fanon (…while hurting everyone to do it, differentways.)

and that got me thinking like. a lot of this description i just wrote applies to another character too.

someone in the text who was introduced as a reader of the stories of the heroes, as an author of fanfiction and fanart

though, obviously meat and candy calliope are accounted for. it's not literally that mspar is calliope. besides, its not even like calliope wears a similar hooded black outfit to them, or makes a huge fucking deal about loathing the complexity of postcanon,

hey wait a minute

and theyve got a lot in common. even beyond the superficial. for example, they both just. appoint themself as the guardian of their timeline, because they have to "fix" homestuck. (whether the characters in homestuck want this or not.)

jade harley literally tells *both characters* "well, what if we don't want your protection!!!! why won't you leave us alone!" and then they just sorta ignore her wishes

and the connection keeps going. like. mspar and altcallie have both stood outside of the green sun with aradia and absorbed a canon into themself so they can rewrite it.

this extremely specific thing they have in common!!!! kinda fucked up!!!!!!

like, im not saying this because i literally think mspar is going to crack their head open and reveal altcallie a la Lord English in that intermission.

but THEMATICALLY.

they have a lot in common.

way more than i realized until literally two days ago!

like mspar is LITERALLY another narrator at least on the scale of ultdirk and doc scratch and the like and LITERALLY ALL OF THEM ARE VILLAINS shdashjfhasfhsajdhgashfkgshjdgsdfgsdhjg. there is stuff to think about.

(conspiracy brain.) and of all the outfits mspar wore in friendsim, it's specifically the black hoodie up that they got sprites for….

anyway.

obviously pesterquest and hsbc werent referencing each other because the second one did not exist yet.

but like! i think theres something there. in terms of da Themes and Motifs.

(if there are more close readings of pq, id be SUPER curious to find em :3)

#homestuck #hs meta #homestuck beyond canon #hsbc #hsbc spoilers #alt calliope #ult dirk #mspar #mspa reader #pesterquest #friendsim #calliope hs

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thecreelhouse · 4 months

Text

part time soulmate, full time problem

Paring: Gator Tillman x Alt Fem!Reader (she/her pronouns) || MDNI!

Summary: While you and Gator brace yourselves for your inevitable departure in two days, feelings threaten to break the surface for both of you. Amidst that, your families come home unexpectedly, and the past comes back to throw one last punch your way.

Word count: 6.3k

CW/Tags: PTSD, domestic/familial abuse (physical and emotional), violence and descriptions of violence, brief weight mention/fatphobia, gun mention, misogyny, alcoholism, death mention, dissociation, no smut this chapter (sry y’all!!), hurt/comfort, fluff

Series Masterlist // Read on AO3

A/N: I realized when I finished writing this chapter I can’t remember if it was mentioned in the show if Gator lived on his own or not, so if it’s not canon, whoops lol. Please take all of the tags into consideration before reading. If any of this is upsetting to you and you need to skip this one, I completely understand. Take care of yourselves first babes!! Next chapter will be back to the filth lol promise, and it only goes up from here. Thank you again for all the support on this series on here and AO3 🫶🏻

Day 8

It takes five whole days for the snowstorm to end. With your face pressed up against the window, you can’t believe your eyes, fogging up the glass with your breath.

“Am I dreaming? Do you see this?” Your fingers are splayed on the frigid cold glass, tingling over the temperature contrast.

Gator tiredly shuffles up behind you, “No, ‘cause your big head’s in the way, freak.” His arms slide around your hips while he rests his chin on the top of your head.

“Why is your chin so boney? Quit stabbin’ my head with it, jerk.” You reach back to his face, shoving your now freezing hands on his cheeks; Gator yelps at the sharp cold touch.

“Get your corpse hands offa’ me,” He grumbles, large hands grabbing yours and pinning them to your sides. “Can ya’ at least let me wake up fully before you start misbehavin’?”

“The sun’s out!” You’re ignoring his grumpiness, thrilled the snow is finally done burying the two of you alive in this house. There’s also a weird, subtle pang in your heart that being snowed in together is coming to an end. You kind of liked being in your own little corner of the world with Gator, even if you almost killed each other at first, while visiting home, also your least favorite place in the world.

“I gotta call someone to clear the driveway.” He draws off his vape, blowing it over your head. A fluffy, thick cloud hits the window, blocking your view. “No way in hell either of us are shoveling any of that by hand.” You want to tease him for having his vape on hand shortly after getting up, but you realize it’s not a good time for teasing. Gator’s mind is elsewhere as he lets go of you; you catch on to his moodiness, realizing it’s more than just trying to wake up.

Spinning around to face him, you let your backside rest against the window sill.

“Hey, you doin’ alright?” You glance up to see him fixated on something, or maybe nothing, outside, brows drawing together while he’s lost in thought. “Gator?”

He can’t bring his eyes to meet yours, void of any expression. Leaning forward, your hand slips into his, softly lacing your fingers between his, while your thumb strokes along his hand.

“You have to go back soon, don’t you?”

You’ve been desperately trying to avoid this conversation, but you can’t push it off any longer. It’s not fair to Gator. It’s not fair to you.

“T- two days… I was kinda wishin’ the flight would be canceled because of the storm… but that’s— that’s just my luck, I guess,” You stutter, quickly following with forced optimism. “But we have two whole days together! It’s better than nothing.”

“Was kinda wishin’ for that too, darlin’.” Gator murmurs, finally peering down at you. There’s a rare, vulnerable sadness in his eyes, and that sadness is infectious as hell; you don’t even fight the tears welling up in your eyes.

“Jesus, this was easier to think about when we hated each other a week ago.” You’re cracking a joke to lighten the mood, but neither of you crack a smile or even force a laugh at the comment.

Gator steps closer, releasing your hand to cradle your face in his hands; the motion forces you to really look him in the eye, but he’s blurry through your tears. He lightly kisses your forehead and doesn’t pull back. Your arms enclose around him with little grace, hoping if you hold on tight enough, neither of you have to leave this week, or even this moment, behind.

“If I’m bein’ honest…” His voice crumbles, throat drying up as he holds back his own tears. “…we never hated each other, did we?”

You shake your head before hiding your face in his shoulder, “Never did. Not really. I was just angry.”

“Yeah, but you had every right to be. You still do.” Gator’s well aware that the wound hasn’t fully healed, and this past week was only a heavy duty bandaid slapped on top. He’d understand if you never fully forgave him, or never fully trusted him again.

“You’re not as awful as you think you are, Gator. You… you were pretty rotten… but you’re not that person anymore.”

“I’m tryin’ not to be. Still got a long way to go.”

“That’s all you can and should do. Just shows you want to be a better version of yourself. You deserve another chance, you deserve to be l—“

You bite your tongue before the big, scary ‘L’ word can sneak out, and redirect.

“I think trying is brave. Admitting your past self wasn’t who you should’ve been, making efforts to change that, even small changes, it’s big. It’s really fucking big. It’s scary, but I believe in you. You never completely lost your true self, it was buried by all the shit you’ve been through.”

While appreciative of your encouragement, he shakes his head, “That’s not an excuse, though.”

“You’re right. But it explains it. I think it’s still important to acknowledge it. Nothing changes until you acknowledge the truth of things.”

“Fuckin-a…” Gator’s at a loss for words. He knows you’ve been through a lot of shit too. The both of you have, with a lot of parallels in the suffering you had both endured. Yet you turned your pain into something more for yourself, and Gator just… pushed his pain aside. Ignored it, as if it’d disappear on its own someday.

You knew he never had a choice, though. Not under this roof. Not with that fuckin’ terrible excuse of a father. Even when he became old enough to know better, it couldn’t have been easy to watch everyone and everything change for the better while stuck in this godforsaken, hollow place. He gets why you moved. There was no hope here. Not really for anyone.

It wasn’t that you thought every person had to have a big, adventurous move halfway across the country to grow as a human being, but there’s truths everyone has to face at some point, or you drag them behind you like a ball and chain until your leg snaps.

None of the abuse Gator survived was an excuse for who he was shaped into, but nothing can change without addressing the root cause head-on.

“I hate this place. I hate what it’s done to us both. I hate the bitterness we were both raised under, the fucked up values and beliefs… and speaking of, how the hell did our parents allow us to have sleepovers as kids?” You can’t help getting sidetracked, and it pulls a soft chuckle from Gator.

“You really are still a pro at distracting yourself.”

“Listen, my brain likes to try to jump ten steps ahead of my mouth, but then it just kinda trips and tumbles and—“

Like a familiar routine at this point, Gator cuts you off with a kiss, sickeningly sweet with whatever artificial fruity flavor he just inhaled, just as clumsy and heartfelt as all the others before. Usually, by now, you’d smile with his lips on yours, but all you can think of is how much you’re gonna miss the familiarity of his quirks that you’ve grown to love so quickly.

Fuck. There’s that word again.

Gator pulls back to answer your question, “There’s a reason we stopped havin’ sleepovers as kids, y’know.”

“What? Why?” You tilt your head in confusion. Gator laughs and looks away.

“Pretty sure your ma’ called my mom when ya’ started your period.” He snorts, face turning red. Your jaw drops.

“No way?! That was the reason?”

His eyes squint shut as he laughs harder, nodding as his head leans forward to rest against yours. “They thought we’d try to fuck around I guess, worried we’d be ‘tempted by the devil’ or whatever.” He’s laughing in between his words as he reminisces about the ridiculous logic, if it could even be called that. “I overheard the conversation and kinda connected the dots.”

“Oh my god, I was thirteen! I was still playing with dolls! I didn’t even know why periods were a thing. I still thought babies came from the stork!” You’re almost bothered finding this out so much later in life, but Gator’s laughter is always contagious to you; you let the annoyance go, noting how it’s only further proof the two of you had parents that believed in the most outlandish nonsense.

“Wait, you still believed the stork was a thing at thirteen?”

“….. Maybe.”

“Now look at ya’, you’re the one corrupting me.”

“Hey, it takes two to tango, freak.” You taunt back, grabbing the vape from his hands. “Haven’t seen this in a lil’ while, I’m surprised.”

“My mouth’s been busy with… other things lately.” He smirks as you roll your eyes, shoving the vape in his hands. He also pays no mind to the way you use his insult- now a weirdly endearing term- back at him. Again he inhales the nauseating sugary flavor, blowing it in your face like a dick. “Well, they didn’t do a very good job at keepin’ us pure, huh?”

You go to grab the vape back, but he simply holds it high above your head. “I’m gonna take that damn thing and throw it into the fuckin’ snow.”

“Yeah, alright, if you can even reach it from down there.” He’s twirling it between his fingers, waggling his brows at you. “You need a step stool?”

“I ain’t even that short, asshole.” You grumble, relaxing back against the window sill, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m just shorter than you, and it’s only a few inches.

“Says every short person ever.” His playful comment is met with you flipping him off before moving on.

“Y’know, I can’t even be surprised about this whole thing about the sleepovers. Ma’ wouldn’t buy me tampons, only pads. She thought even that was too sinful.” You’re sputtering out the words with giggles, realizing how bonkers this all sounds out loud.

“We really had fucked up families.” He jokes, grimacing. “But I’m glad they made us hang out all the fuckin’ time.”

“We still have fucked up families.” You quip, but you watch Gator’s smile fade quickly. The laughter dissolves with it. You know exactly what’s on his mind, so you’re concerned, but cautious to ask, “You still miss her?”

You knew only that his mother, Linda, “disappeared”, leaving him behind as a kid. You were only aware of the small details of hell Roy put Nadine through, and how badly that fucked up Gator even more. And you’d have to be blind as a bat to not notice the way he’s numb to Karen’s existence in the family.

He forces a sigh out, shrugging it off. “It’s— it’s still hard to talk ‘bout.” He’s contemplating if he should talk about any of it, and if he did, where the hell he would even begin.

“Hey, it’s okay. No pressure. If you ever do wanna talk about any of that… or anything… you know I’m here for you.” Your arms envelope around him, giving a reassuring hug. “If, and when, you’re ready, I’m here. Always.”

Gator hugs back, tighter than your grip; it’s his response to your kind words, and you don’t push for anything further, and he’s grateful for that. Hand in hand, his calloused, slightly wind-bitten skin is another comforting familiarity to you as he pulls you towards the door.

“C’mon, freak, let’s find someone with a stupid fuckin’ snow plow and make breakfast before ya’ corrupt me further.” He looks back at you, with that signature, smug smirk you’ve grown to love.

There’s no denying it anymore. It’s love.

And you’re terrified.

———

The sunshine reflects off the snow, creating that whimsical, sparkly look over its smoothed over surface. But god damn, is it blinding.

Insisting you needed to learn about gun safety before ever even touching a gun, Gator drags you out into the frigid outdoors to try some target practice out in a field.

You’re bundled in multiple layers; leggings under your jeans, three pairs of socks in your boots, a cozy and worn hat you crocheted years ago with a matching scarf and mittens, and a combo of your leather jacket, Gator’s sweatshirt, and multiple shirts underneath. You’re still freezing, though, so you keep your hands pulled through the sleeves, holding them close to your body to keep them warm.

Gator’s in his bomber jacket, and usual, minimal layers— maybe just minimal to you, but you’re cold just looking at him— smirking at your get up. He’s wearing the neck warmer that you made him, though, blooming a certain kind of warmth and joy in your heart that he actually likes it.

Unfortunately, it’s not the kind of warmth that’ll actually keep you from freezing out here.

You glare behind your heart shaped sunglasses, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, shove it up your ass, Tillman.”

“You look like the kid from ‘A Christmas Story’, y’know, the one that can’t put his arms down—“

“Yeah, yeah, look who’s talkin’, Mr. ‘I wear 90s sport sunglasses only dads wear’.”

He whips them off his face, pointing to you with them. “Hey, watch it.”

“What? Ya’ gonna spank me for teasing you? Good luck through these layers.” You laugh, and Gator rolls his eyes in return, ignoring your comment before trudging on through the snow.

The snow barely melted, but the harsh winds smoothed it out to subtle, fluffy hills, only to feel crunchy when you step on them, boots falling through to the colder layers underneath. Somehow it makes the ranch look even more barren than usual. It’s like riding a bicycle, though, you never forget—

Except, you did. You forgot how to maneuver through any amount of snow larger than a foot, and you’re grumbling under your breath with annoyance that Gator dragged you out here, trying to lift your legs through the snow to walk properly.

You also forgot how to ride a bicycle, but that’s not important right now.

“Gator, I don’t wanna keep goin’, it’s cold.”

“It’s winter.”

“Really? I thought it was summer. I was actually hopin’ to go swimmin’.”

Gator sighs over your lazy sarcasm, continuing on with a few more crunchy steps, until he hears a faint, fluffy ‘thud’ behind him. Sucking in a breath to try and stop an inevitable snicker, he spins around to find you feet away, flopped over in a mound of snow, and— just your luck— face down. You roll over, pouting as snow speckled all over your face as it slowly melts against the heat of your body.

With frustration, you groan loudly, laying in the snow like a rag doll that’s given up. Backtracking, Gator looks down at you, smug as he mocks your pout with an over exaggerated one.

“You know what this is, right?” He’s referring to the air mattress incident.

Eyes narrowing at him, you grumble, “You and your karma can kiss my ass.” You flip him off with a bright red, painfully cold middle finger.

“Yeah? That a promise?”

“Gator.”

“Fine, c’mere,” He relents, standing over you and offers his hands out to you, waiting to pull you up. You reach back, but as his hands lock around yours, you use all your strength to pull him down into the snow with you. The loose, dusty snow puffs up and around him like confetti on impact. Landing face first, just as you did, he rolls over with a grunt, glaring at you. “You’re a pain in my ass, y’know that?”

Grinning, you quip back, “Like you aren’t one in mine?” Gator opens his mouth to respond, probably with some snarky comment, but it dies on his lips when he gets a better glimpse of you.

Gator can’t resist admiring how pretty you look, even if you’re bundled up like a comical marshmallow, face wet and cold from the snow. The way the early setting sun reflects off the snow, into your eyes, illuminating the color of them. How the tip of your nose is flushed from the cold, cheeks in the same shade to match; it still looks cute on you. You’re panting, trying to catch your breath in the thin, winter air, but you’re still grinning like a dork at him, and he catches his own like a bad cold, hitting hard and all at once.

Your eyes are glued to his face, admiring the way his cheeks are tinted in the most subtle shade of red, thanks to the winter wind. How soft his smile is when he’s not being a smug little bastard, with lips chapped— I’m getting him some goddamn chapstick— and the bonus of the wound on his bottom lip from yesterday. All the little freckles and moles scattered across his skin, almost like little constellations you’re tempted to trace out. How the sun reflecting off the snow illuminates his eyes, too, adding an extra glow to his already warm eyes, brown and soft with flecks of hazel in them.

There’s no questioning it. No denial. You’re in love with Gator, the once gangly, awkward little kid you grew up with, now handsome and strong; a bit rugged around the edges while still secretly carrying a soft, heavy heart, filled with more kindness than he likes to believe. It terrifies you, to be in love with anyone, let alone your childhood best friend who ended up your enemy for years; when you came home, this was never even a thought that crossed your mind.

You didn’t even realize you still felt deeply for him, not even when you were crocheting a gift for him, not even when you were plucking glass and ceramic shards from his knees, and certainly not even when he took care of you after fucking around for the first time.

Maybe there was nothing to realize when it was there all along.

He’s a little winded from being pulled down by surprised, breathy as he begins to speak. “Hey, can I tell ya’ somethin’?”

Golden hour is taking over, blanketing the expanse of the property and beyond the horizon with hues of oranges and gold, purples and pinks; the two of you are painted in the stunning natural light, and you hope to God this is a good question, or the timing of whatever he’s about to ask could be absolute shit.

You nod, curious and a little nervous. “Yeah, f’course.”

Gator chuckles nervously before taking a deep breath, “I… I think I—“

An engine roars across the field near the house, interrupting Gator; wheels crunching along the snow packed down on the driveway from the plow that came through earlier. The two of you sit up quickly to see your father’s truck pulling up to the house, and your heart sinks. You immediately become nauseated and anxious at the sight; Gator can tell you’re frightened, slipping his cold hand into your soft, mitten-bundled one.

“I- I didn’t know they were gon’ be back tonight.” He can feel you trembling as you say that, voice shaking along too; you feel small, so wrapped up in the comfort and security you and Gator had created over the past week, only for that to be erased by the unexpected arrival of your families. Your mind races, scrambling to put together any vigilance and defense for whatever bullshit is about to come, for either of you.

It was tolerable to handle your parents when you first arrived in North Dakota, because you could prepare and brace yourself for their abuse. Right now though, where you should find peace in your vulnerability with Gator, you feel like you’re drowning in it, trying to claw your way through choppy waters that only slip between your fingers.

“M’not leavin’ your side, darlin’.” Gator reassures you, voice quiet, as if they can hear the two of you from this far away. Meanwhile, not a single one of them looks over in your direction, entering the house without a look back. “We can go back to my place tonight, if you’re alright with that.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely. We can pack quick and get the fuck outta here. And I’ll take you to the airport when you gotta go in a few days.”

“Gator, that’s so outta the way for you—“

“M’not leaving you with your dad, I don’t trust that fu—“ He cuts himself off, clearing his throat. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be so rude, he’s still your family.”

“Nah. He’s not. He’s never been, never will be. Bound by blood don’t mean shit.” You can feel your fear shifting into rage; taking deep breaths, you try to calm yourself, knowing you can’t waltz back in there hostile or bitter.

Gator stands and pulls you up, hand still secure in yours. He waits for you to take the first steps, not wanting to rush you into what could be a toxic situation.

When the pair of you reach the front porch, Gator asks, “Would ya’ feel better in the car? I can grab your stuff before we leave. I don’t mind.”

You shake your head, steeling yourself for whatever could, and would, happen beyond that door, before heading inside.

The warmth of the house isn’t enough to shake the cold from your bones. Your fathers are both at the kitchen table, glasses with dark liquor in both of their hands, while your mother’s already stuck at the stove; you can hear the faint sounds of Karen talking to the twins upstairs.

Your father looks up as he sees you walk in, Gator trailing behind. A sneering look upon his alcohol worn face.

“Whoa! Looks like someone gained some holiday weight since we left,” Your father slurs, laughing when his comment twists your face into offense.

Fucking moron, I’m under like, 60 layers of clothes.

“We were outside, I had layers on, y’know, ‘cause it’s winter.”

“Watch your tone, girl.” The last word radiates with disgust towards you.

Roy’s watching all of this, silently, letting your father spit hatred right off the bat. He sips his drink, shooting a glare at Gator, who has a hand pressed against the small of your back, reassures you he’s here. You can barely feel it through the inches of fabric, but the sentiment is all the same.

“Yer’ makin’ your poor mother slave over a hot stove ‘cause you couldn’t be bothered to have dinner ready for us.” He spits. You tense up, trying to hold your anger in.

“How was I supposed to know when you’d be home, you never said shit. You don’t have to force Ma to do anything. I ain’t obligated to do anything I don’t wanna, either.” Your voice threatens to break, but you hold yourself together. Your mother still won’t look at you. Won’t even address you’re in the room. “You could learn how to do somethin’ y’self for once.”

Your father shoves himself out of his chair, striding over to you; Gator can feel you try to make yourself small and hide. “Where the fuck are your manners, woman?”

Without missing a beat, you snap, “Six feet under with your dead daughter, asshole.”

“Don’t you dare talk ‘bout Willow like that—“

“Like what, Pa?” It’s taking a toll on you mentally and physically already, to balance between standing your ground, calming yourself, and hiding your fear. Your fingers clench into fists at your sides. “Don’t try actin’ like you care now.”

“It’s yer fault she died, makin’ her drive in the snow like that—“

Gator attempts to step in, still feigning respect to keep whatever little peace was left. “Sir, you can’t be twistin’ the truth like that. A drunk driver took her life—“

“Gator, stay out of it.” Roy warns, and immediately Gator shuts himself up out of fear of retaliation.

“It’s true, y’know. She was the safest driver I knew in this town, even in the snow.” You back Gator up. “It wasn’t her fault. How dare you blame her when she can’t even defend herself.”

Because she’s gone. Forever.

“She shouldn’t have been drivin’ so young, but you talked her into that one.” Your father sneers; he’s not speaking out of anger that she’s gone, he’s fueled by the insistent need to always be right, to always keep control.

“Willow had to learn ‘cause home wasn’t safe for her! She needed a way out. You made her life a livin’ hell in every way possible! I had to learn how to mend my own wounds while I was under your roof, and I took care of hers, ‘cause we couldn’t go to the hospital. I kept Lo’ alive a lot longer than either of you would ever! You and Ma both were supposed to protect her, supposed t’love her!”

Cruelly, he barks out a laugh, “Not like you did much—“

“You fuckin’ listen to me right fuckin’ now, you sick fuck,” You’re much shorter than your father, but the rage makes you feel bigger than he ever could be. You’re pointing a firm finger into his chest, only making him stumble back a bit because he’s already drunk. “I did everythin’ I could for that sweet girl, I taught her how to drive, I helped her with homework nearly every night, I gave her a safe place to rest her head once I moved out of your fucked up house. She had hope with me by her side. She had a future set that you woulda’ never cared to give her. She worked so. Fucking. Hard. Some drunk fuck took that away, not me. Not the snow. A drunk driver that didn’t give a flyin’ fuck about anyone but himself—

“Which, by the way,” You turn to Roy, eyes glassy as you try holding back tears; Gator reaches out protectively to hold you back, but you still glare at Roy. “The driver only got a slap on the wrist ‘cause it was one of your buddies, huh? Did ya’ tell my parents that one? You useless piece of—“

A sharp sting tingles across your face, with numbness and a deafening ringing in your ears to follow; your father uses his wedding ring as a weapon of discipline as he backhands you across the face. Pain sets in, and you can feel yourself dissociate as your vision doubles; reaching up to your face, you pull your hand back and find blood dripping down your fingers. You can’t hear the way your mother gasps, or the way your father tells her to know her place.

You also don’t realize Gator let go of you to lunge at your father, slamming him against the wall with force that knocks the wind out of his lungs. The arm pinning him across his neck doesn’t help much with his shallow breathing, either.

“Gator—“

“Roy, shut the fuck up, for once in your fuckin’ life.” Gator spits before turning back to your father, pressure increasing on his throat as he lays his arm into him with almost all he’s got, without killing him, of course.

Everything is blurry to you, everything sounds like it’s underwater and miles away as you stumble back into a wall, leaning into it for support. The edges of your vision begin closing in, turning black. Your heart beats wildly, and your body is begging to hyperventilate.

Don’t pass out, don’t pass out, don’t pass out.

“Touch her again, and I’ll make sure ya’ rot in a lonely, filthy cell ‘till the end of your days, you sick fuck.” Gator spits into your father’s face, which is slowly turning blue as his windpipe is being nearly crushed. Roy reaches for Gator roughly, but Gator throws an elbow back, perfectly aimed at his throat. His father coughs wildly, collapsing to the ground while he holds his throat, glaring at his son in disbelief.

You’ve never seen Gator so livid before; it’s the first thing you can see clearly as the blurriness dissolves from your vision, taking the ear-piercing ringing along with it. His jaw looks like it’ll break any second with how hard he’s gritting his teeth together, with nostrils flared and a threatening glare towards your father.

You don’t hear Karen come downstairs, but you can slightly hear her yell, “What is goin’ on in here?!”

Gator turns to her, still holding nearly all of his body weight to keep your father from moving; this is when his eyes soften, oddly enough. “Karen, you needa’ take your girls and leave, unless ya’ wanna die here stayin’ with this fuckin’ pig.” He glares at Roy, still gasping for air on the kitchen floor.

She’s speechless, eyes darting all around, from Gator, to Roy, to your father, then your mother, and you, holding your face to stop the bleeding. She can’t tear her eyes away from you, knowing by experience how badly hurt you are. Unexpectedly, she’s reaching out to guide you out of the room, murmuring, “C’mon, gotta clean that up ‘fore it gets infected.”

It’s incredibly surreal that Karen steps up with motherly care in an instant, where your own mother couldn’t, and wouldn’t dare. She doesn’t say much to you, letting you zone out in the bathroom while you’re on the toilet seat, trying not to lose consciousness as she tends to the gash on your face.

“It ain’t worth it, y’know. Gator’s right. Y’all gotta go somewhere safe.” You mumble, startling her a bit after going so long keeping silent. She’s trying to focus on cleaning the blood off, but you can tell her mind is elsewhere, too. “One time’s too many, y’know. Bein’ hit and stuff.” She doesn’t say it, but you know she knows already. “You and your kids deserve better than this.”

Before she can respond, Gator’s in the doorway, pushing a wad of cash at Karen, from god knows where. You’re secretly hoping he stole it from his dad, an extra blow to his ego. “Even if it’s just a motel or somethin’, y’all gotta get out and find somewhere safe.”

She looks at it hesitantly, then back at Gator, “Why are you doin’ this?”

Gator hesitates, swallowing a lump in his throat, shoving it in her hands, “‘Cause you don’t gotta end up like my mom, too.” He looks over at you, “Darlin’, we gotta go. I got no clue how long they’re down for, but it bought us some time.” He comes in after Karen quickly bandages the now clean laceration, helping you up to head out of the room. Before leaving, he turns back to Karen, “I suggest y’all leave soon as y’can, too.”

Guiding you to the stairs, Karen catches his attention one more time. “Gator?” He throws a glance over his shoulder at her. “You better keep her safe.”

He nods, shifting your arm around his shoulder, and winding his arm around you, under your arms to hold you up, using him as support. You’re in a daze, hearing everything, but feeling so distant.

“Yes, ma’am.” He’s not just politely answering, he’s firmly promising.

As the two of you head for the door, you pass your mother, weeping on the couch, unable to look at you. You know it’s useless, but you have to try. You’d regret it if you didn’t. You stop in your tracks, stopping Gator alongside you. He notices you can’t look away from your mother and the state she’s in, and helps you over to her. Gator stands close, making sure nothing else happens to you, while you sit next to her.

“Ma?” You reach out to grab her hand, with a crumpled up wad of tissues in her grip. She can’t look at you. She won’t. “You don’t gotta live like this anymore.”

Her sniffling and weeping continues. You can feel the shards of your heart that you’ve taped and glued back together, time and time again, splinter apart once more.

“Mama, you don’t have to stay with him. I can help you find somewhere to go— you can even come with me. You can be safe.” You’re pleading with her; there’s a lot you resent her for, but she still never deserved the abuse and turmoil your father dragged her through. “You deserve better. Always have, Mama. Please.”

When she finally speaks, she still can’t look you in the eye. “It’ll get better when you leave.” It’s said so simply, but it just crushes whatever splinters are left of your broken heart. “He never wanted daughters from the start.”

You hold in your tears; you never saw crying as a sign of being weak, but your mother doesn’t deserve your vulnerability at this point. She didn’t deserve you, or Willow. Neither of them did. You both should’ve been raised in a family with unconditional love.

Looking at Gator, you hold your arm out, and he helps you back on your feet. You glance at your mother one last time, who still won’t look at you. “Yeah, well… we never wanted the parents we got… So I guess we’re even.”

Goodbye, Ma.

As you and Gator head for the door, you hear her try to muffle her sobs with more tissues. You take one last glance into the kitchen, Roy and your father both unconscious on the floor. Roy’s throat is already bruising, and your father’s face is unrecognizable, pummeled to a bloody pulp. Gator tries shielding you away, but you already see the damage. He’s alive, and the bleeding slowed, but he’s out cold, probably for a while, too.

“M’sorry you saw that.”

Your mind wanders as Gator wraps you in a big blanket, the one you used the night the power went out, before cautiously heading to his cruiser to help you into the passenger seat. When you’re settled in, he kisses your forehead before tugging the blanket around you tighter, making sure you’re warm and as comfortable as you can be, despite the pain.

“You’re safe in here, gimme a few minutes, I gotta grab your stuff, okay?” You nod at his words, dozing off seconds after he shuts the car door, locking it, just in case. The exhaustion of everything that just happened takes over, forcing you to rest.

The ride to Gator’s place is quiet enough that you’re able to stay asleep for the few minutes it takes to arrive.

“Darlin’, c’mon, let’s get ya’ inside.” You’re woken up by Gator softly speaking, pulling you out of the cruiser, confused as to what’s going on or where you are until awareness slowly sets in. “I grabbed our stuff already, and we can do whatever you want to, or if you need some space, I can give ya’ that.”

You can’t find your words or collect your thoughts, still lost in a daze, so you nod distractedly in response while he helps you inside.

Gator’s apartment is cluttered here and there; you knew he was rarely here to keep things tidy, though, with how often he was made to do Roy’s dirty work for him.

He throws the covers back on his bed to get you settled and comfy, helping you out of the several layers of clothes and your boots before laying you down, while you wrap yourself back up in the blanket he gave you earlier. “You should probably eat somethin’—“ You shake your head ‘no’. “Well, at least you need some water. Maybe painkillers— wait, you shouldn’t take any on an empty stomach. Maybe ice? Yeah, ice.” You tug on his hand before he turns away to leave, so he crouches down next to you at the edge of his bed. “What’s up, darlin’?”

Your voice cracks, forcing your words through a dry, choked up throat, “Are you okay?”

Normally, Gator would tease you for asking, for putting him first before yourself. He was never dishonest when he answered before, but he’s being upfront this time. “No… I don’t think I am.”

You sit up quickly, groaning as the room spins; Gator has to guide you back down to the bed, but you prop yourself up on your arm, leaning onto it as your tired eyes search his expression. “Did he hurt you? Did your dad hurt you? I’ll kill ‘em both—“

Barely above a whisper, Gator pushes the hair falling in your face behind your ear, “Easy there, tiger.” He can’t bring himself to laugh as he gently teases you, but does his best to smile, though it’s somber. “Not physically. Watchin’ him attack you like that… I shoulda’ kept you away from your dad, or let y’stay in the car from the start. I’m so sorry I didn’t protect you.”

Your face falls while sorrow floods through you. “Gator, you did protect me. You probably saved my life tonight, or at least saved me an ambulance trip. You know he would’ve kept going if you didn’t stop him.” You hold his face in your hand, “You’ve always let me fight my own battles, and you’ve always stepped in if I needed backup. It’s something I’ve always been grateful for. You are someone I’m always grateful for.”

His thumb grazes your jawline on the same side your fresh wound is, careful not to get too close to it. “Not sure why you’d say that after what I did to you before you moved… But m’glad you weren’t alone with this shit tonight.”

“If anyone’s ever deserved a second chance, it’s you. It’s always been you, Gator.” You mumble the last part out as your eyelids grow heavy, head sinking back into the pillow, but it’s just coherent enough for Gator to hear it. He pulls the blankets over you, assuring you’re cozy and warm, while waiting for you to settle into a deep sleep; he hopes your dreams are even just the tiniest bit sweeter than this day was for you.

Silently, Gator promises to himself and you, that he’ll do whatever’s necessary to keep you safe, and make sure you know you’re really, truly loved.

He just hopes to God he has the balls to work himself up to the confession again tomorrow.

#gator tillman x reader #gator tillman x y/n #gator tillman x you #Fargo #part time soulmate full time problem #my fics

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frostycatblr-fandom-files · 1 year

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Sorry, Wrong Comms! : Hunter x Medic!Reader [Chapter 1]

Much more recently written fanfic I started to distract myself from the "mild" trauma of Season 2 finale based on ideas that wouldn't work for "Rough Stuff". This fic is absolutely RIFE with my personal headcanons. Clones deserved so much better, and I will be a giant mess when I get to Pong Krell in TWC as I have since started rewatching it.

Warnings & Information: Intended audience is 13+, 18 if you squint. Hurt+comfort material primarily; there is still a fair amount of angst, fluff, and all the good stuff. Reader has she/her pronouns. We really like italics in this house. Peep this for funsies for why I decide to use Mando'a. By no means comprehensive, in no particular order there will be: Mild injury description + care, blood, vague medical terminology (read as: pretending to understand medical stuff), use of restraints, needles (autoinjectors), near-death(s), nausea and non-descriptive mentions of vomit, Star Wars swearing, drugs (both medical and recreational references), minor adult themes + implications, avoidant behaviors, trickery and light mean teasing in the forms of siblings and crushes.

Series-inaccurate allusions to Crosshair never leaving Bad Batch post Order 66 execution [because while this is an AU fic, I am also very much an Avoidant Mess™], Batchers never meet Cid, fair chance of misremembering any referenced events from TCW series. Series accurate allusions and references to canon violence (AKA: literal war crimes, weapon injuries, etcetera).

Word-count: 4,637

She couldn't remember the last time she had a really, really bad day outside of her medical clinic. There was a tip-off that an abandoned medical center on a neighboring mining planet within the system had supplies too tantalizing to ignore. Valuable paraphernalia that was being phased out by this emerging Empire, ripe for the taking. Did the mining company really have to build this settlement on the steepest face of the mountain? No, they probably didn't realize how unstable, unsafe and ultimately unsuitable this location was while they riddled the inside of the mountain with tunnels as they harvested precious ore and minerals. This was a boomtown and it had completed two of the three strikes typical of such: strike it rich, strike it fast, strike it down. The people living and working here had to abandon it in a hurry before they demoed the place. This mining company hadn't done their proper research and now the shells of their temporary structures were all that remained.

But a scrappy little scavenger had found the medical center was still fairly flush with supplies and let the first medic who was willing to help them with their injuries know about the score. 'It'll be dangerous. If you're going, tell a friend so they know to come looking for you if you don't get back after a certain time. But these items are pre-Empire, they aren't making them like that anymore, so you'll want these. Trust me. I think you'll find them worth the risk of a rock slide or two.'

It. Was. Not. Not really, anyways.

She was just glad to be home now. Put the day behind her. No more rock slides. No more rusted shells of buildings that made for excellent deathtraps. No more falling halfway down the mountain she climbed up in the descent to her ship in the foothills and losing almost every last med supply she came with after slipping on a patch of loose, fine-grain sand just after navigating the maze of the medical center. She had to hobble down the rest of the mountain with nothing to clean out the open wounds and prayed to everything and anything that she didn't contract something that had leached into the rock as the by-products of mining and refinery. She had to stumble into her ship and send a message to her back-up at home that she was 'hurt pretty kriffing bad' but alive and would be back planet-side after dinner; don't wait up for me, I'm too damn tired to swing by after all. Tell the others I'm sorry.

Her instructors in med school would be having a conniption if they saw the way she had tended her wounds so lazily and would never let her hear the end of it for the juvenile, sloppy attempt to bandage the laceration on her dominant arm, but she was too tired to care. (But if she ever saw that scavenger again, she'd kill them for failing to mention several things. The collapsing roof in the west stock room, for starters.) She'd deal with it all properly in the morning. She just wanted to sleep after sucking down two tubes of nutrient paste and a mixed handful of painkillers and antibiotics to ward away pain and infection.

She picked up her datapad one last time and hissed a deliberate dictation into the mic after tugging the knot to the wrapping one last time for good measure. "I'll deal with that bantha fodder in the morning… Home safe. Going to bed. Goodnight."

She'd accidentally sent it to the wider group beyond the singular contact when five messages popped up in short succession.

Glad you're home safe. Sleep well, kid.

likewise

GOODNIGHT!:)

Yes, goodnight.

We'll see you in the morning, burc'ya.

Hopefully she'd feel well-rested with the sunrise. Crawling into her bed, she dropped heavily on her side and clutched a well worn Tooka doll in her favorite colors named after her very first childhood pet to her chest as she drew the covers up over her shoulders. Maker, she was so tired. It wouldn't take long before sleep came for her, feeling the first beckoning pulls on her eyelids after just a few moments.

Her comms gave a harsh screech, jolting her awake in her bed. Just when she had drifted off… This better be important. An actual karking emergency. Someone who had her personal frequency had better be dying if they were contacting her. "What."

There was a lot of shuffling and keypad beeping on the other end of the comms channel, but no one spoke right away. Just when she was about to either call out a hello? or simply disconnect her comlink, she heard someone speak up. Clone Sergeant Hunter. "Tech is this really necessary to keep the-"

"If we want an accurate oral temperature, yes."

There was a groan over the channel, then the sharp rustle as the comms got bumped or adjusted in Hunter's hand. "Well the longer I have it in my mouth the closer I feel to gaggin-"

She shot upright in her bunk, slightly grossed out and confused all at once. "What the kriff are you-!?"

The two Clones on the other end of the comlink gave their own startled shouts, realizing they had a disembodied voice suddenly joining their company. "[____]! How-?"

She was quick to cut Tech off, pulling the comlink closer to her face to amplify her furious tone of voice. "Did one of you seriously call me - in the middle of a medical check - when I'm trying to sleep!"

"Sorry, [____]." Hunter mumbled shamefully. "Must have switched on my comlink by mistake… Didn't mean to disturb you when I know you've had a hard day." What an understatement, Hunter. The impulsive venom in her mouth was hard to hold back, encouraged by her frustrations and discomforts bubbling over. "Hard day made harder thanks to you." She regretted it in a heartbeat. Thank the Maker the enhanced Clone wasn't in the room with her; he'd probably have been able to hear the way it skipped a beat if he was able to sense the beginnings of seismic activity, smell the way she felt her body begin to shiver in a forming, cold stress-sweat as the shame of her anger washed over her.

"You're right: let me make it up to you."

She was told to come over to the Batch's housing. Crosshair opened the blastdoor for her before she even had a chance to knock to avoid waking anyone sleeping if she used the buzzer. "He'll be in the main area."

"What, no "Hello, taking care of yourself like I told you to?" tonight, Cross? Even as a joke, after the day I've been having, to lighten the mood?"

There was a half-hearted scoff (or maybe that was a soft laugh) from the Clone at this."That's more Wrecker's thing," Cross drawled in a casual voice around a toothpick, sidestepping to let her squeeze inside, "and I'm not really interested in pretending I can't see that you are not taking care of yourself."

"No, of course not Mr. Sharp-eyed, Snarky Sniper. 'Cause I fall down the mountains of abandoned mining settlements for kriffing fun."

If Cross was phased by the uncharacteristic anger of the medic tonight, he didn't really show it. Just a little twitching pull of his upper lip on one side and half-lidded eyes that betrayed a bit of amusement and disappointment. "Mmp. C'mon, kid. I'll see if I can't find a half-decent ration bar somewhere around here for you."

"Not hungry, Cr-"

"Don't care." He interrupted in a brusque tone, not giving her the opportunity for excuses. Crosshair was the kinda guy who didn't like excuses, either in giving or getting, and could be quick to shut that kriff down. It was refreshing sometimes, but tonight it was just another mild annoyance of [____]'s day.

Whatever. She was going to go find Hunter where Cross said he'd be rather than waiting around in the entryway forever. "Skipping meals again, are we burc'ya?" As a medic, she often missed out on a meal or two while she was aiding the galaxy's sick and injured, and the unintentional habit carried over when she wasn't at the clinic. Something that made her friends fret over her like this. "For once I had all three meals. Only thing I swear went right today…" There was a pause as the medic heard a comment from the small kitchen on the left from the common room and she added with a gentle sigh, "aside from not breaking any bones during that nasty fall, too I guess."

Hunter looked relieved and genuinely proud of her, sincerely surprised she wasn't tired and hungry like many nights in the past. Crosshair just turned on his heel back into the kitchen unit without breaking his stride, after a little shuffling around in the cabinets [____] could hear the sink running. "Well that's… good! Proud of you, kid."

"...Than-"

Cross set the glass of water he'd filled for her in lieu of the ration bar down on a low table in the common room in the middle of the light conversation she was having with Hunter. "Here. I'll leave you two to it. Goodnight."

"U-um, thanks, Cross. Goodnight…" Cross nodded nonchalantly at her, next turning to his brother, who was quick to avoid his eyes before Crosshair just turned and left the two of them. Leave you two to it, what did he mean by that that had Hunter looking so nervous with a wave of color creeping up his neck from under the collar of a fresh nightshirt? "What's going on, Hunter? Do I need to be worried about something? Something show up on the health check? Do you need some nysillin tea or- s-something?"

Hunter shook his head, a tender, reassuring (and touched) smile slowly building. You could take the doctor out of the clinic, but you couldn't stop her from thinking about her job. "Nothing's wrong, k'uur... Just thought I was feeling a little under the weather, but I'm perfectly fine. It's nothing more than just making it up to you after waking you. Plus, for once, you won't have to patch your own wounds. Why not have someone take care of you the same way you take care of others?" It was the same thing he'd said to her at the end of their first of many interactions in this seedy little travel-hub. The time she'd undoubtedly saved Crosshair's life after he'd picked up a nasty little parasite while slogging through the swamps of some distant planet. Kashyyyk? It was probably Kashyyyk.

[____] was in a sour arrangement then with some smugglers with hair-trigger tempers to come and go as they pleased with her small clinic, and these Clones had been kind to remove the problem clientele "with discretion" as a way of paying her back. She'd saved their "stubborn vod". They saved her and now trusted her to treat their injuries no matter the cause, turning up at odd hours for the oddest of injury or malady. Complete faith in her in a hostile galaxy who now wanted… whatever it is they wanted with these Clones. She didn't ask. She didn't want to know.

She'd heard the stories from those who fled the war encroaching nearly every part of the galaxy. She'd heard of the war crimes, seen the horror and gore and bloodshed step into at least two of the medical centers she once worked in… known of an Order 66 and what became of much, if not all, of the Jedi… She didn't want to know. They often didn't want to tell, beyond giving vague recollections when they were making arrangements for short-term prescriptions for sleeping supplements with the medic when the nightmares were overwhelming.

Much like scouting the abandoned medical facility in an old mining boomtown for various 'sillin supplies, life seldom goes the way you wish.

"C'mere, ad'ika. Let's get you patched up." He patted the space beside him on the couch in invitation, pulling a medkit closer with the other hand all while looking at her with the same softness he often reserved for his sister. When [____] first met him, she could have sworn Omega was his daughter. "Unless you're not okay with that." Hunter added, addressing her hesitation he could hear in the rhythm of her pulse, her heart.

"I'm fine with it… just really tired and brain's kinda closing shop for the night. Sorry." Taking the seat indicated, [____] sunk back into the furniture, sighing. She didn't want to bring up why she was hesitating on him. He carried enough guilt as a participant in the old GAR… Hunter broke the seal on the new packet of medical tools, prepping everything he thought he'd need. "Don't be, ad'ika. Now, have you taken something for the pain already?"

"Rhetorical question for a medic, don't you think?" The tired, teasing question was met with a single chuckle. He knew she would have, he was just making small talk. "Anything else? Ask me if I'm taking any other kind of stim packs, or maybe I should lie about eating all my recommended fruits and vegetables?" It was a laugh from Hunter this time, deep and hearty and genuine from his chest.

"Are you?" Picking up a pre-moistened cleaning wipe from the little packet within the medkit, Hunter removed the sloppy wrappings around her dominant arm that [____] had applied before trying to call it a day and properly deal with everything in the morning. Dried smears of red lay underneath the gauze, something that made Hunter's gut drop slightly. Either she had done an uncharacteristically poor job cleaning her injuries, or these were more intensive than believed and they were slow-bleeders that hadn't scabbed over completely.

"Tck…Can't say I'm any better than most of my patients, if I'm honest." Hunter hummed slightly, gingerly blotting along the length of the mild laceration. It had to have been an unpleasant injury after losing all her emergency supplies and nothing to ease it right away until she stumbled back to her ship. It looked fairly deep to him, but couldn't be certain. "Mmh! That stings."

"'It's supposed to, little guy. Means it's working.' I swear Cross could have killed you with a look if the parasite wasn't actively killing him over being called a little guy like he was a kid."

"Ha-ha. Very funny, Tech." [____] half-heartedly mocked Hunter's sharp recollection of their first encounter, trying to stifle a coming yawn. That time felt so long ago now; longer than it actually was. "I was only trying to keep him calm and comfortable. I see a lot of children at my clinic so it's a habit I've de-developed… excuse me, sorry about that. People… don't exactly love doctors."

Hunter paused mid-blot, giving her a firm look to show her he was serious. Something in Hunter didn't like the way she'd said it, it didn't sit right with him. "Nonsense, cyar'ika. People love doctors; they just don't love going to them. Big difference. Trust me." Trust me like I trust you he wanted to say. He wouldn't. He believed it was mutually understood, no need for explicitly stating so (partly an old habit in thanks to how he communicated with many a vod during the war). "People…" Hunter tried further explaining, leaving out the "like us" he again believed didn't need to be said "...might be embarrassed, or fearful, or worried about going to the medic, but they understand they need to go because the medics will be able to make them better. They don't hate the doctor; they hate the doctor's office…" Hunter paused, digesting his own words with a questioning expression as he set aside the pre-moistened wipe, now soiled. "Now of course I think I just sound like I'm condescendingly explaining your own job to you."

"Heh. Don't worry about it. Too tired to care," the weary medic offered with a reassuring smile, leaning into the backrest of the couch with a slowing blink-rate. "I'm just more concerned about staying awake, while I'm the patient for once, for you."

For you. Something about it was unintentionally sweet to Hunter and made something within him flutter for a moment. That was happening a lot lately, every time he thought of her. He kept chalking it up to his enhancements and memories of the Kaminoans testing him and the others that remained of the experimental unit, the sharp sterility of antiseptic that lingered in her clinic and her clothing and her hair that sometimes turned his stomach, or simply a disconnected unfamiliarity with those who were not Clones… though, while perhaps he never felt truly connected with them and the way some called them the 'Sad Batch' (or called Omega a lab scabber) when they thought they could get away with it, they had still been his brothers in arms in the war.

A war they were still running from. One they nearly lost Crosshair to after 'things went screwy on Kaller' as Wrecker put it once. What an understatement… if Hunter hadn't been so insistent with the Shock Troopers down in the brig that the Batch stayed together to the point that they tased Hunter to shut him up instead of extracting Cross, then Crosshair likely would have been siphoned off to some corner of Tipoca City and had the activation of his inhibitor chip nudged along into unpleasant possibilities Hunter had nightmares about in addition to so many things he'd seen… done, during the Clone Wars. It'd been difficult, and he'd hated part of himself for it, but as they made their initial escape from Kamino, he threatened to stun Crosshair if he didn't kriffing shut up about following orders they didn't even understand for five minutes! so hard he wouldn't wake up until they reached the next star system.

There had been so much bickering. They still bickered even after Captain Rex got in touch with them, somehow, after they left Saleucami visiting the Lawquane family (which had been tricky and Tech worked the loophole that Crosshair could not report Cut for desertion because it had been the GAR when he went AWOL and now it no longer existed, it was the Empire now, right? half to death before Crosshair reluctantly let it be), and they got their chips removed in the rusted out shell of a Venator on Bracca and had been lured into a trap set by Tarkin back on Kamino. Because if Tarkin could not have this SpecOps force, nobody in the galaxy could; he'd aimed to wipe them out and they'd narrowly avoided being swallowed in the eternal seas of the closest thing they had to a homeworld.

It took a long time for the bickering to stop. They were at their throats for a while still until… Crosshair had gotten really, really sick.

That's what led to this friendship with a medic who had been willing to help them nearly a year ago. Though lately, it was feeling… different.

"Hey…" [____] broke the building silence while Hunter had been searching for a bacta patch, and Hunter initially worried he'd done something to tip her off to the personal burdens, the memories, he shouldered. "...weird question for ya, if that's okay."

"How weird?" Hunter tried, careful not to let the hesitancy and budding anxieties show in his voice. There's the karking things. He'd probably need a couple of them to make sure he had it covered so it would heal up nicely, quickly.

"Oh, not very. I just wanna pick your brain a bit."

Ah. Just curiosity. He affixed the first patch over the first half of the laceration, careful not to prod the bruised flesh with unnecessary pressure. "Alright, pick away."

"What is… your favorite memory? When you're having a bad day… what's the thing you think about that always cheers you up?"

"Heh… your day was really that bad that you're looking for advice from a soldier, doc?" Hunter teased, applying a second patch over the laceration. He wasn't sure what he could truthfully answer with while he was carefully measuring out a length of sterile gauze to hold the patches in place on her dominant arm, there being too many little, fleeting happy moments rather than significant memories to spin some story from. But he'd try. "I guess for me… it's less what I think of and more of what I do after a bad mission. Clean my gear. Tidy up my rack. Buff out my helmet-"

The medic smirked, a solitary, quiet laugh interrupting Hunter's train of thought.

Oh, Maker… he'd forgotten the suggestive context behind the phrase she often heard in the infancy of her profession in the midst of the Clone Wars. He'd heard she'd get the stray Clone on occasion at the large health center she was employed at once on a different planet but didn't know how much truth there was to it. "K'uur: that was not a euphemism."

That was met with a nervous giggle that made his stomach flutter. "S-sorry; old habits, and a non-professional setting where I can actually laugh." [____] offered meekly, face flushing with color while he wound the wrapping around her forearm. "C-continue, Hunter, please. 'Buff out your helmet' and...?" The unspoken what else on her tongue was permission enough to show she was serious about him continuing.

"And… check in with the others, I suppose. Make sure that everyone is okay. Spend time with them. Strengthen personal bonds."

A lot like what the two of them were doing now, he supposed. The unintentional check in. Taking care of her injuries while they sat side by side in the common room as the rest of the Batch were sleeping. Except maybe for Tech who often tinkered away on his datapad or the desk he'd squeezed into the room he shared with Wrecker (who wasn't bothered by a roommate with a propensity to dink around with some little gadget or piece of equipment when he was sleeping or resting) at these hours. Or Crosshair, who was often awake and asleep around the same times Hunter was, since they'd have muffled "conversations" through the walls when neither could sleep on occasion. But all was relatively still and quiet in each of his brother's rooms, and the steady rumble of the noise machine in Omega's room meant his sister was asleep.

Drumming rain and swirling waves. The perpetual ambiance of Kamino. He hoped the little machine replicating the soundscape engrained in her memories wouldn't cause her to dream of the Venator class ships bombing the cloning facilities tonight…

While Hunter had been lost in his senses, his worries, the medic had been busy mulling over his words. There was a ghost of a smile taking the place of the pained frown she previously bore. "That all sounds… really nice."

The last injury tended to, Hunter set everything aside and gave [____]'s shoulder a tender double-pat, feeling the tense muscles under his hand as he held his hand there after the friendly gesture. "There you go, ad'ika. All patched up."

"Thanks, appreciate the help Hunter. Could I… trouble you a little further by crashing here for the night? I don't think I'm in a fit state to get back home around now. Far, far too tired." It was definitely not a safe time for a woman to be walking by herself without a blaster, nevermind a tired, injured woman who'd been an invaluable friend to Clone Force 99. He'd never have sent her home to begin with, giving how deeply her chin dipped into her chest with fatigue. "No trouble at all; you're welcome to take my bed, if you want." Hunter offered, giving her shoulder a friendly squeeze. He'd sleep out here in the common room so none of his brothers would get any funny ideas if both he and the medic emerged from the smallest of all the bedrooms in the housing together.

Why the Sith's hells did he just think that?

[____] winced in mild complaint, laugh laced with pain. "Ow, that's quite a grip there, soldier!"

"Sorry," he apologized, "didn't realize how hard it'd be. You carry a lot of stress and tension in your shoulders, ad'ika… I can feel how stiff your muscles are. I… have some experience with providing some relief for that, thanks to all the practice I've had with Wrecker and Tech. Tech's posture is a mess-" He rolled the palm of his hand against her shoulder experimentally, gauging the pliability of the tensest muscle, and she leaned into it eagerly with a whimpering 'oh, Maker…!' surprising even herself. Hunter decided he'd stubbornly pretend not to imagine how not-so-innocent the sound was, to keep talking about his brothers and ignore the heat in his lower belly, another flutter of his heart. "Tech spends hours hunched over his datapad, or some little gadget, or spends hours in those rigid crash seats in the Marauder with his muscles wound so tight he's practically locked in place. Wrecker takes such a beating each mission it's just… uh,"

"A w-way of taking care of him afterwards?" She helped him where he faultured.

"Yeah. That's one part of it. Here, turn so I can get both shoulders." He had her melting under his touch quickly, the practically unhurried worship in this massage he was working into the medic's shoulders, neck, and the dominant arm. The muscles were so stiff and taut under her skin, under his ungloved hands. They were afraid to speak and break the reverence of this moment, the silent work of friend helping friend between each little involuntary sound of great relief or wince of brief pain as each tight, brow-bunching knot slowly surrendered. Her breathing pattern slowed as every minute elapsed between them beyond the gentle moans of relief as Hunter methodically kneaded the muscle free of tension with dexterous fingers. He wouldn't need to dig in so deeply like taking care of Wrecker's messes of well-defined muscle, for which he was grateful, to make any kind of progress, or go so tenderly to start with like he has to for Tech (on occasion) that the goggled Clone sometimes became a little impatient because he wasn't feeling any external relief. He could dip his fingers just a little deeper and just a little shallower, like those perpetual waves of Kamino replicated on Omega's sound machine, as he worked one muscle at a time for the unlikely friend who sat with him on the couch.

It felt roughly the same to strengthening the bonds of the squad to Hunter, but again there was that fluttering in his heart that suggested this was so very different when he realized that when he moved back to [____]'s neck one last time, at her asking, and planted one of his palms on the opposite side of her face to keep her steadied as he dug little circles around the tight muscles under the base of her skull with his thumb that she took one last deep breath and was soon asleep in half a heart's beat between them.

Hunter froze as he was, face hot in panic with the reality that he was now entirely supporting, for the moment, a female friend who was upright and asleep in his hands. Not knowing what to do just as the medic became more limp, he effectively locked himself in place when, on reflex, he caught her upper body against his before lowering it into his lap. A move he'd done a hundred times when one of the squad was this close to fainting out in the field.

Oh, you're kidding me… why the kriff did I do that?

[MASTERLIST] [NEXT]

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canonicallyobserving911 · 7 months

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Buck & Eddie: The word “Nice”

Disclaimer: After noticing the way Eddie used the word “Nice” in 4x8, 4x13 and 6x14, I decided to analyze it because it appears there may have been a reason why it resurfaced in season 6. Initially, I planned to post this back in May but after the way 6x18 ended, I was pissed off (I still am), so I didn’t. But now that I’ve completed all of my Season 6 “Constructive Criticisms” (tag linked here) and I still have a lot of things I observed in CANON that I’m ready to address, I decided I’m going to start occasionally blogging again.

Reminder: 9-1-1 doesn't do coincidences, therefore the words included in the scripts for their characters are very specific, important and they usually mean something because they’re not just randomly selected.

Please note: Eddie Diaz does NOT have a poker face! Therefore, when he speaks, his facial expressions should also be considered because most of the time, the looks he expresses conflict with the things he says and it’s usually very LOUD.

“Nice” - A brief history

The word “Nice” has a lot of different meanings, some good and some bad but over the last eight centuries, it has evolved from its original definition that was derived from the Latin word nescius (“ignorant”) (Merriam-Webster.com). The word ignorant is usually negatively viewed and used but the meaning of the word is not bad, it's just used in a way that makes it seem like it is. The word means someone doesn't know something and in its simplest form it means "not knowing" or “lacking knowledge or awareness about a particular thing” (Dictionary.com). According to Merriam Websters (Merriam-Webster.com), most writing teachers have banned the use of the word “nice” and prohibit students from using it in their essays because there are better words to choose from. Descriptive words like magnificent, awesome, extraordinary and fabulous can easily be used to replace the word "nice". Basically, “Nice” is an “indifferent” or a “filler” word that has been used by many to describe something and it can also be defined as acceptable, mediocre, satisfactory and trivial.

Since the word has so many different meanings (some good and some bad), why did 9-1-1 have Eddie say it in seasons 4 and 6?

______________

Eddie Diaz uses the word "nice"

Why is the definition of the word “Nice” important when it involves Eddie Diaz? Well, it’s important because Eddie used it twice to describe Ana in season 4 and in 6x14, Vanessa used it twice to describe him. Also in that same episode, Tia Pepa used it to describe Vanessa and so did Eddie.

Season 4

When Eddie first used the word “nice” to describe Ana in 4x8, he said it to Buck after his wacky Math date. Then he used it again in 4x13 while he was talking to Carla and he combined it with the word “easy”.

Every time he used the word “Nice” to describe her, he looked away and to the left from the person (Buck and Carla) he was talking to which was VERY LOUD and extremely telling. Body language experts have found a person who looks away and to the left is “searching” for the right words to use to describe something or someone which could mean they are uncertain about the person or thing they’re describing.

Season 6

After Eddie arrived at Tia Pepa’s house in 6x14 and she blindsided him with Vanessa and her aunt, she told him “Vanessa is very nice” but it’s clear later when Eddie used the same word to describe Vanessa, they were using it in two different ways.

Also, when Vanessa used the word to describe Eddie, his facial expression told the whole story. It was quick and if someone watching blinked, they missed it but the speed has been slowed in this GIF below to show his reaction.

Reminder, Eddie knows what the word means since he used it to describe Ana but he didn’t like it when Vanessa used it to describe him.

Also, before Vanessa told him he was a “really nice guy”, she looked him up and down like she had already figured something out that Eddie either hasn’t or is not ready to admit. Then she looked him dead in the eye when she told him he was “nice” for the second time and that’s when his facial expression changed.

Body language experts also say a person who looks someone in the eyes when they’re talking is doing it intentionally and it can also be used to communicate something to them of importance. Reminder, this is the same episode where Eddie said he felt like he was going to have to “perform”.👀

Eddie talking to and looking at Buck

IIRC, Eddie’s has never used the word “nice” to describe Buck but he has used other descriptive words to illustrate how much he means to him and they always get to the core of who Buck is. He looks Buck in the eyes when he talks to him and they have silent conversations that allows them to talk to each other so no one else can hear what they’re saying.

Even when Eddie was bleeding out after he got shot, he looked at Buck and asked him, "Are you hurt?" That was LOUD and he's only had those types of conversations and looks with Buck. Sure, he's had important conversations with other people but when he's talking to Buck, their conversations are intimate and meaningful not just acceptable, mediocre or satisfactory like they were with Ana and Marisol from the hardware store🙄.

Listed below are just a few of the things Eddie has said to Buck over the years.

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself!”

“And what, you think you failed? I failed that kid more times than I care to count and I’m his father. But I love him enough to never stop trying, and I know you do too!”

“Buck, there’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you.”

“Your actions. Your choices. They impact the rest of us. That’s what it means to be a part of a team”.

“You talk sense into me… that would have been interesting.”

Seriously, you’re gonna make it about you, again?”

“That’s not on you!”

“You act like you’re expendable…but you’re wrong.”

“You’re the guy who likes to fix things.”

"I'm afraid. That I'm never gonna feel normal again."

“Fix it?... Hey! It comes in handy when you have a bunch of holes in your wall.”

“What are you offering?”

“Maybe that’s how Bobby feels about interim captain.”

“Buck! Can you hear me?”

“Do more!”

“So now am I allowed to ask how you are?”

“You died, Buck. You’re going to feel a lot of different ways about that.”

“You don’t have to be anything for anybody!”

Did Eddie use the word “nice” intentionally during seasons 4 and 6? If so, what was the reason? Only the showrunners, writers and producers know the answer to that question.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 on abc #911 abc #911 meta #911 season 7 #911 season 7 speculation #911 #911 season 6 speculation #911 season 6 #911 s6

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strqyr · 3 months

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here to say thank you for understanding the characters the way as they should be, so many misinterpret them horribly and take them at their face value or will straight up make up a headcanon and then trick themselves into thinking thats what the character is(yang being the biggest one that gets mischaracterized so much and so badly). you actually go through each characters heads while considering canon material and fune tooth combing each and every scene and piece of information for them

i try my best lol. i'm sure i get stuff 'wrong' (i.e. not necessarily what the writers themselves were going for) every now and then, such is life when we all come from different backgrounds and have different life experiences that mold us, but nothing is more fun than putting myself in specific character's shoes and really digging in to see what makes them tick, how their backstories inform their actions, both past and present, and so on and so on.

i think a common stumbling block—besides headcanons taking priority, which frankly is a package deal with fandom in general—is the though that if you like a character, they must be good, and if you dislike a character, they must be bad, which leads to all their actions being painted in same light, nuance be damned. people want nuanced and flawed characters as long as it suits them; the moment it doesn't, all that gets thrown out the window while still claiming that nuance is everything—just don't point out that the character they like might actually be *GASP* flawed, or that character they dislike might actually not be Pure Evil™, and everything is fine.

(people relating to characters probably also plays a part here; any pointed flaw towards a character they like is seen as an attack against them, etc.)

yang to me is a fascinating case, because, well. people often point towards jaune as the character most often bastardized by fandom, and i completely get that, but what i've also found is that these jaune fans often just. stay on their lane, doing their own thing, which is very easy to ignore if you so please. with yang, though, i've seen people getting upset at other fans for taking an official description of yang into account when portraying her in artwork or fics and straight up claiming that the very obvious canon trait of yang's is either a) never really been a thing (it has very much been a thing since day 1), or b) a made-up fanon thing, and it's like

if you don't like it, take it up with rooster teeth??? why get mad at other fans for characterizing yang as she is in canon??? makes no sense lmao

anyway, not that i need them to stop; the most appreciation i've gained towards characters has been solely because i've seen takes about them that immediately, without ever having thought about these characters that deeply before, make me go "that's bullshit" and then dig through canon to make myself understand why my instinct was that strong—and often finding new things that i had never considered before. it's a win-win situation for me skdgkjhkfh

#thanks for the kind words!! ♥#anon #ask.strqyr #most importantly i'm just here to have fun #ultimately these are just made-up characters #they're not real #they can be or do whatever any writer wants them to be or do #like it is that deep... but also it isn't #if that makes sense?

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prolix-yuy · 8 months

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Hello honey 💕 As promised, here I am submitting my request for the 500 follower celebration!

The list of prompts is amazing. I truly had a hard time choosing one, but after Chapter 2 of Both Side of the Door I need to know what happened between Mando and X'ian or I'll will never be at peace again. So I'll go for Heartbreak of betrayal with the two of them, hoping that you'll give us an insight into their relationship.

Ren's crew sees Mando as a sort of traitor, but I really can't see him act like that (as leaving Quinn behind) out of the blue. So who betrayed who? Who betrayed first? How? Why? And most importantly, what the hell happened on Alzoc III? S1E5 left us with so many questions. I need answers 🤯

Ma Chérie! My wonderful @amban-rifle! I have to start this off with an apology. I have held onto this ask for SO GOSH DARN LONG. This is from my 500 Followers Celebration OVER A YEAR AGO. I'm so sorry have kept you waiting but holy heck, what an ask! The drama! The complications! The holes in canon we all struggle with! Plus addressing one of the most confusing and complicated off-screen "relationships" many of us x Reader writers ignore. I wanted to do it justice, and it took a bunch of research, gorging myself on other Star Wars content, and staring off into space while that Spongebob meme of my brain being on fire danced in my noggin. But! It is here, finally. And for being so patient, it's an absolute monster.

Interlude: Burn in My Bloodstream

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader, Din Djarin x Xi'an

Summary: The Mandalorian has shared many secrets, but his greatest one is buried in shame and blood.

Word Count: 11.8k

Warnings: Explicit, 18+ MINORS DNI, canonical-type violence, allusions to sex work, rough sex throughout, oral sex (m receiving), gagging, voyeurism, fingering (f receiving), PiV sex (don't be a fool, wrap your tool), anal sex, creampie, choking, degradation, threesomes, semi-public sex, cuckolding, blood and descriptive gore, character death, genocide (what a tag that was to write), suicidal thoughts, a fuckton of angst, The Helmet Stays On and it's a Big Deal, a very toxic relationship dynamic.

Notes: This one was an exercise in researching and complicated storytelling, but now that it's done I am over the moon with how it came out. I know that the Din x Xi'an pairing is not many people's cup of tea, but if you want my take on how it came about and what I think happened to give us The Prisoner, here's it all as best as I can surmise. I'm staying as canon compliant as possible because it's fun to connect a bunch of dots, but obviously this is all speculation with some liberal fudging of timelines.

Takes place after Both Sides of the Door, with much of the story set pre-S1 and spoilers for S1 Ep6 The Prisoner. Our Reader character makes an appearance at the beginning and end, so she'll still have a place in this interlude. The title is taken from Ed Sheeran's "Bloodstream" and if you want to know where my mood was for most of this, that song is a good place to start.

Cross-posted on AO3

I Think of You Series Masterlist

After you retire for the night, Din contemplates telling you about the other woman who left marks on his life. Omera was easy; wrong place, wrong time, and no right time on the horizon. And if he was truthful with himself, maybe no right time ever. He could have loved her, loved the way she cared for him and allowed a softer life for himself. There are times when he lies in bed and wonders what a world like that might look like for him.

It’s…difficult.

Even thinking of a little plot of land, a space all his own tied to the earth of a planet, makes him yearn for the skies and space that surround you three on the Crest. He could never truly root in soil, so used to being a seed on the wind. There would always be bounties to chase, duties to fulfill, missions to complete.

Right?

And if he digs even deeper, he might find the clearest truth hidden among the memories.

His heart belonged to you longer than even he knew.

There were times when he let others touch it. Omera’s hands held it gently, too kindly for him to accept. And to keep it, she would need him to lift the helmet, the one thing he could not give her. Being a Mandalorian is all he knows. So he took his heart with him, and he’s sure she’s better off without it.

But there was another who reached into his chest with claws and teeth and left him bloody from her affections. One he tries not to dwell on as long as he can. A time in his life that brought more shame than any other, misted in blood and sex and credits.

He wants to share more of his world with you. You deserve to understand exactly why he is the man he is today.

But he does not think he can tell you about Xi’an.

“Got something special for you, Mando,” Karga says when he settles across the table. “You’ve been requested by name.”

Din cocks his head, one hand drumming restlessly.

“That’s new,” he says. He likes playing mysterious for Karga, embodying all that a Mandalorian is supposed to be, even when some days he feels like a small child wearing his buir’s armor. At least it hides the worst of his apprehension, impassive helmet masking how his eyes constantly dart around the room, legs tense and ready to spring.

“Ranzar Malk. Leads a small team of mercenaries.”

Din tips his head back, folding his arms over his durasteel cuirass.

“Didn’t think you liked sharing the spoils,” he drawls, watching Karga carefully. The man laughs, sipping back some spotchka and winking at a woman sitting at his bar.

“I don’t. I like my work without middle men. But they bring in very, very good credits. A percentage is more for both of us than the handful of riff-raff I could offer you.” Karga leans forward, elbow coming down and speaking lower. “They want the reputation a Mando can give their team. Help them get some bigger and better jobs. You lend them your striking silhouette, and you’ll be in enough credits to buy a whole suit of beskar. And my cut will be…barely noticeable.” The sly smile Karga schools off his face lets Din know it’s a lot more than unnoticeable, but the job intrigues him.

“What kind of work is it?” he asks. Flashes of memories play at the corner of his mind - Mandalorians coming down from on high to save him, droids shredded in their wake.

“Malk and I have a strict ‘no questions asked’ policy. You do the work, you get paid.”

Din rolls his shoulders, fingers itching to grab onto something solid and deadly.

“How long do they need my…reputation?”

Karga leans back and sweeps his hands wide.

“As long as you want. Open contract.”

Din considers the offer. Mercenary work has never been too lowly for a beroya, but he’d never done any. Mostly small-time criminals and shakedowns in return for credits. But if the money is as good as Karga makes it sound, it could help the covert ten times over.

“Deal.”

“You must be the Mando.”

The voice is snarly, raked over a steel timbre. Din turns to see a barrel-chested, long haired man with a thick salt and pepper beard to match. His face is folded into a smile but the light of it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Extending a short-fingered hand, he pumps Din’s gloved one vigorously.

“Karga said you were in need of reputation,” Din says, cooly delivering the lines he practiced on the flight to this no-name hangar in Outer Rim rubble.

“And what are you in need of, Mando?” Malk says, eyeing him with blatant curiosity. Din had planned for this question during his supply run. The covert wasn’t to be named, the last of a culture eradicated. So why was he still traveling, wearing the helmet if he’s not of an unseen world?

“Target practice,” is the dry answer he gives, leveling the helmet at the shorter man. Malk raises an eyebrow before a conspiratorial smile splits his lips.

“I like you, Mando. Man of few words. You’ll get along with the other chatterboxes I run with.”

Malk leads him to a hangar pad, small ships in various levels of disrepair scattered across the peeling floor. A sharp whistle brings three people into view, two purple Twi’leks and a human man.

“My crew,” Malk says proudly, gesturing for them to come closer. The female Twi’lek saunters over with a swing in her hip, the heavy forehead-first stride of her companion close behind. The human throws a grease-spotted towel onto a box of tools and comes to an exasperated stop in front of Malk.

“Can’t believe you shelled out credits for a tin man. I could have put a bucket on and we’d be just as well off,” the man says. His face is Malk claps him on the shoulder.

“Varlo,” Malk says, nodding to Din. He gives a polite tip of his head back. Varlo rolls his cold blue eyes and turns on his heel. His jaw is sharp and squared, matching his lithe frame as he climbs back into an open access hatch. The male Twi’lek approaches Din, soft footwork with his hands in his pockets.

“Qin,” he offers before Malk’s introduction, nodding his head at the amban rifle slung across Din’s chest. “Is it true weapons are part of your religion? Or is that all bedtime stories?” His smirk is condescending, not even veiled. A simmer of annoyance bubbles in Din’s veins but he tamps it out.

“Among other things,” he says instead, earning a sardonic smile and a handshake from Qin.

“All weapons?” the female Twi’lek says at Din’s elbow, running her fingers up the length of the rifle’s barrel. Din twists away, visor meeting the sparkling challenge in the Twi’s eyes.

“My sister, Xi’an,” Qin interjects as she circles Din with roaming eyes. She hisses at him, raising Din’s eyebrows under the helmet, before sharply switching to high-pitched giggles, like it’s the funniest thing she’s ever done.

“Ohhhh, Mando, we’re going to have fun,” she says, finally coming to rest at her brother’s side.

Din should have walked away in this moment, saved himself a lot of pain and heartache and blood. They were volatile, waiting for a spark to burn everything around them, and Din was only more kindling.

The jobs were easy to start. Wealthy benefactors needing a little extra muscle to get their way. A handful of runaways returned home. One exceptionally smooth jailbreak. Din’s presence gave them a leg up on jobs, but his skills were where he became integral. Combat all done with the efficiency and proficiency of a Mandalorian, but flying was where he excelled. The Razor Crest, in her infancy when he first shook Malk’s hand, was a deadly bird under Din’s touch. Scrambling signatures aside, with Din piloting it was a ghost on the astral winds.

It also became a strange cramped home to the five of them while they traveled. After complaints of too many credits spent on lodging, Malk casually inferred that the Crest could be a better home base. “We’re in it more than out most days,” was his dry reasoning, and with four people staring him down Din agreed, pangs of discomfort pushed to the back of his mind. It made sense, after all. The Crest was a cargo ship. Might as well fill it with cargo.

So between jobs and screaming dogfights in the sky, the mercenaries found themselves within the durasteel walls. Hammocks strung along the hold allowed for sleep, belongings mixing and melding to become communal. There was comfort in that for Din. Individuality beaten out of him in training, he preferred not knowing who liked what ration bar or whose ‘fresher items littered the floor.

In that crush of company, however, he did learn about his family in arms. Not enough to urge him to reveal more of his own past. All of them lived in the present, their histories an inky shadow they let drag behind and paid no mind. He learned instead of their present, trial and error and observation his best tools.

Malk’s connections were far-reaching and unsavory, most bounties questionable in nature but not enough to turn down. He would choose jobs no one wanted, ones that were especially difficult or carried the highest price. A name for himself was the greatest goal, clawing for prestige in how fast, how deadly, how accurate the team could be. Din sometimes caught a feral glint in his eye when they returned, deed done. The crazier the escapade, the more he gloated in cantinas or to his associates. Rarely lifting a finger himself, he worked logistics and timing, connections and credits. And when the job was done, it was only his name that ever hung in the air as they walked away richer.

Varlo was quiet, calculating and cruel. Din thought the standoffishness was a front until he watched the man more closely and realized it was born of a distinct lack of empathy. He could not be bribed, or swayed, or bewitched. While Malk made connections and laid the groundwork, Varlo was the front man on foot. He could talk his way in, execute the seven councilmen sitting at a table full of secrets, and wipe the blood from a particularly valuable one before taking it as insurance. His carefully crafted armor of failsafes and blackmail let him sleep easy every night, no matter the strain Din might feel at the events of the day.

Qin was the strength of the operation. Not bulky like a Devaronian, but leagues stronger and more agile than his body could betray. With enough blaster cover he could incapacitate, maim, and kill anything in his path with his two hands. That surety in his body extended to his place in the world. His smile was always knowing, always scheming something behind the fangs. Time spent across from him could pass pleasantly - Qin could spin you a tale from thin air, wrestle someone into gasping submission, or share silence all in turn - but once he left there was the distinct feeling that he gained more than you meant to give.

And then there was Xi’an. Qin and her relationship was manic on a good day, volcanic on a bad one. They snapped at each other constantly, enough that Din stopped trying to understand if they were mad at each other or simply passing the time. Where Qin was strength, Xi’an was stealth. Her steps made no sound, the silvery whistle of her knives the precursor to bodies on the floor. The delight she took in her own prowess turned Din’s stomach more than once. Brutal hisses and snarls giving way to raucous laughter and almost childish giggles raised the hair on the back of his neck. She was competent and brash, and Maker help anyone who said no to her.

Behind all of them was Din, standing silent and glorious. His helmet parted crowds, murmurs and rumors following the swish of his cape. They wondered why he was running with this bloodthirsty lot, a member of one of the greatest warrior cultures. He let them guess. With his contributions his covert would grow, and one day the children - maybe even his children - would be able to stand in the sun on a world that they called home.

Until then, he hunts.

Din manages to maneuver the delicate balance of this crew living on his ship for over a month before tensions rise. A week without work has made everyone snappish and riled. Malk is hidden away in the cockpit making calls so Din has to remain with them, arms folded as Xi’an needles at Qin. His lip curls into a snarl, and Din braces for a brawl.

“Treating me like your baby sister isn’t going to make the men think you’re tough,” she hisses, sauntering by Qin and circling Varlo. “They don’t care about blood when it comes to close quarters, long hours, pent-up frustration.” She walks her fingers up Varlo’s chest, stroking her pointer along his leather jacket. “Care to blow off some steam?”

Varlo skirts around her touch, dropping down on a crate and leaning back.

“Hard pass, I don’t dip into crazy,” he spits out, Xi’an’s mocking smile chased by a wink of his own. For someone who barely experiences emotion beyond curiosity and satisfaction, he’s good at faking it. With a turn on her heel, she approaches Din instead.

“Ever felt the touch of a woman, Mando? Let someone polish your beskar?” she trills. Din keeps his posture loose, tilts his helmet and sighs.

“Quit dicking around, I’ve got something,” Malk says as he drops down the ladder. “Decommissioning factory has had some thefts. We’re doing short-term security until we catch the guilty party.”

Xi’an backs off, slumping down across from her brother as Din moves to set the Crest’s course. Out of the thick air of the cargo hold he can finally breathe.

He’d wanted to rebuff her, brag about the women he’s brought to the heights of pleasure with just his fingers, but it’s a dangerous path to wander in the barrel of rocket fuel the Crest has become. Shifting his hips in the pilot seat, he thinks back to the last time he fucked his frustrations into another person.

A Togruta, maybe? Or was it that sassy brothel worker?

(a girl on a desert planet that stopped time)

A shiver climbs his spine but he bats it down. In any event it’s been too long since he’s indulged in a soft body. He’ll take care of that after this job, ease some of the stress buried between his shoulder blades. It might make all of this strange arrangement more palatable.

Droids. It had to be droids.

Not the fact that the factory was decommissioning battle droids but that some were going missing, not turning up in the junk pile to be scrapped. The workers didn’t give two shits about it, but because the battle droids were so powerful and dangerous they had to have their chips pulled out and documented for the New Republic. Too many missing chips led to this group striding in like conquering forces.

The first night is uneventful, Din passing patrols with Varlo and Xi’an. Varlo looks at him like another droid, the cold boredom on his face inexplicably boiling Din’s blood. Xi’an’s constant prowling only makes it worse, still determined to crack his stoic demeanor. He’s tired the next day, body running on too little sleep and too much adrenaline. Malk offers him caf that he refuses. He doesn’t like lifting the helmet in front of them.

The second night the issue comes into sharp focus. Not theft, but escape. A droid spray painted in yellow stripes enters the facility to reactivate its brethren. For what purpose they don’t know, and Din doesn’t care. Putting the droid in his sight, muscles tight around the amban rifle, Din squeezes a lifetime of pain behind the trigger.

A cloud of dust. No more droid.

He thought that would satisfy the roar in his chest, but back in the Crest he’s more of a caged animal than before. Malk tells them to enjoy a day on-world, and Varlo and Qin follow him out to the industrial maze of the city. Din knows he needs something tonight, a fight or a fuck or both, so he gathers enough credits to cover his proclivities and makes to leave the ship.

“Where are you biding your time, Mando?” Xi’an’s voice purrs in the low light of the cargo hold. She’s draped over a storage crate, inspecting her nails and flashing a devious look at him when his visor turns. “Going to finally lose your virginity?”

He doesn’t know what compels him to say it. Maybe the constant pressure on all sides, or the neverending sniping at his expense. He knows it’s a mistake the moment he opens his mouth.

“Been a long time since I called myself that.”

Xi’an’s eyes flash up to the visor. It spikes in his stomach.

“I find that hard to believe, Mando, with all the…” She waves her hands around her head, pulling a serious face that she can barely keep on. He should stalk off, leave her to pouting and him to pounding into something softer and sweeter than whatever this was.

But it’s been too long, and he’s itching for confrontation in a way he’s never desired before.

“I’m good with my hands,” he says, one coming up to rest on his belt buckle, tilting his head to the side. Xi’an lifts off the crate, circling him with the serpentine swish of her gait.

“Oh I can believe that. Seen you with those weapons, your ‘religion.’ Man who keeps them that well cared for must be attentive in…other ways.” She slinks around to stand in front of him, dragging her eyes over the broad expanse of durasteel on his chest, flaking paint and silvered scratches. She walks her fingers down his chest, stopping at his trim waist. “But that doesn’t mean you know how to use this.” Her hand flashes out to grope at his crotch but he snatches her wrist, jerking her hands up as she squeals. For a moment he thinks it’s in pain, but the glint in her eyes and the flash of tongue between her fangs reveals it’s excitement. Releasing her, he moves to exit the cargo hold and find something, anything, to calm the rushing of his blood.

“Oh Mando, come on, wait,” Xi’an pleads, skipping back in front of him and adopting an apologetic expression. “We’ve all been cooped up here too long, rubbing each other the wrong way.” This time her hands glances down his side, nails lightly scraping along his hips before she drifts them feather-light over his cock. The electricity of her touch burns in his groin, filling him quickly. “Let me make it up to you, Mando. Rub you the right way this time.”

“This is…not a good idea,” he grits through his teeth, common sense screaming at him to leave, but the many-toothed monster that lurks in the back of his mind drools at the feeling of her fingers getting bolder, now stroking her palm over his stiffening cock. The helmet tips back a fraction as Din’s eyes flutter, excuses melting back into the delicious heat of her touch.

“The best ideas are the bad ones,” she teases, sidling closer to him. Her breath is hot on the edge of his cowl, soft little sighs zinging down his spine as she swipes her thumb over the clothed head of his cock. He tries to suppress the groan but it comes out a whine instead, spurring her on more. “You could use some release. Let me suck your cock, Mando. I’ll trade you for a kiss.”

This is a monumentally bad idea and his survival instinct kicks in just before the monster waiting in the darkness claws his way to the forefront.

“The helmet…stays on,” he grunts, backing up a half step. She rolls her eyes but triumph lives there now.

“Fine, fine, your precious Creed. Then how about I give you a hand, and next time I’m in need of one you return the favor?”

He struggles to take in a full breath, her fingers now wrapped around him and adding just enough pressure to spark in his pelvis and surge into his chest. He nods, fists clenching, as Xi’an’s smile breaks across her face.

“Oh Mando, how long have you been wanting this?” she purrs, sliding down his body to rest on her knees. Alarm bells sound in his mind. It’s too out in the open, too vulnerable. If Varlo or Malk or Qin, Maker forbid, came back he’d be caught and probably gutted. But the lap of her tongue along his waist as she opens the plaquet of his pants dissolves the worries into heady arousal as the monster he’s suppressed so long rears to life.

“Kriff,” he curses, tilting the helmet down to watch her pull his flushed cock out of his pants, thighs flexing when she coos over it.

“So you’ve got the goods to back up all that swagger,” she sing-songs, looking up at him through her lashes as blood pumps loud in his ears. The arousal he’s feeling is unlike his usual encounters. In those he’s simmering even when his frustration is at an all time high, his pleasure delayed in favor of watching them writhe and gasp with the force of the orgasms he pulls out of them. It gets him harder than anything else. But now, looking down at someone who makes his blood boil at any given moment, his libido is at a roar screaming at him to fuck and bruise and take. The force of it makes his heart pound, unfamiliar and exciting.

“If you’re only going to look at it, I’ll go somewhere else,” he growls, keeping his voice as level as possible. It does the trick, her smile sly before she licks a long path from base to tip. The shudder is involuntary, a hot wet mouth not something he usually seeks out. He prefers a dripping pussy to bury his frustrations in but the power this position yields makes all the lewd cantina talk he’s scoffed at come into focus.

“Patience, Mando,” Xi’an lightly scolds, but the thin wire of restraint he was still holding onto snaps. One large hand palms the back of her head, fingers digging into the edge of her head wrap for leverage. Her eyebrows lift in surprise just before Din presses his hips forward, breaching her lips with the head of his cock. He groans at the slick heat and the brush of her teeth over the ridge as he thrusts shallowly against her tongue. He thinks he sees a wrinkle of anger in her brow before her eyes flash with vengeance. She wraps her lips around him, sucking his head.

“I’ve had enough of waiting,” he grits out, pulling back a fraction before sliding in deeper, pressing her further down his shaft. Her hands come up to his hips, fingernails digging in as a warning. The sharp points of pain focus his arousal, the mix with pleasure intoxicating. “You wanted it so karking badly, you….take it,” he growls, his thrusts deepening again as she takes him even further. Hissing around his intrusion, teeth come down enough to scrape along his cock just shy of unpleasant.

“Oh no you don’t,” he punches out, his other hand pinching her jaw to force her mouth wide. The lack of resistance drives him down her throat, a loud gag heaving her chest. The sound shocks his system, pulling back quickly as drool drips down her chin with her gasps. Uncertainty falls heavy over his libido now.

“Are you…?” he starts to ask, but Xi’an yanks him back to her face, pumping his cock quickly with the thick saliva she’s left on it.

“What’s the matter, Mando? Afraid of a little mess?” she taunts before swallowing him down again, the rough gags of her throat beginning in earnest. He can feel her spit dripping down his length, sliding over his balls as she rolls them roughly in her hand. It’s nothing he’s ever felt fucking a woman before, frustration and anger burning him inside out. He palms her head again, thrusting with her own bobbing rhythm as she hums around his cock. His hips pump, thighs clenching, stomach quivering at the onslaught of sensations driving him closer and closer to his high. Hazarding another look at her, she laughs around his cock before pulling off.

“If I’d have known it would be this easy to make you fall apart…” she begins to say, but Din shoves his cock roughly back into her mouth.

“Shut up,” he pants, fucking into her face in earnest. His orgasm is on the brink, body convulsing around her prone form as the monster ruts and chases his end selfishly. His teeth are clenched so hard he tastes blood, puffing air through his nose and snarling behind the visor. Vision red around the edges, his control is long gone as he fights her sharp nails and encroaching teeth and wild eyes. The tiniest voice begs him to stop, to look at what he’s doing, but when he sees her kneading at her mound over her pants, bucking her own hips in time with his punishing thrusts, everything lets go. He cums with a bellow, holding her there as his spend empties into her mouth. He gasps, sweat rolling down his neck and spine, the helmet almost suffocating with the heat trapped inside.

When he pulls out Xi’an gasps and the gravity of the moment makes him stumble back. Tucking himself away he watches her cough on her knees, white streaks of his cum dribbling down her face to drip onto the durasteel floor. Once she catches her breath she looks up at him, and in her flashing eyes and feral smile he realizes something dark and devastating.

He wants to do it again.

Striding past to slam open the cargo bay doors, her roughened voice calls after him.

“That’s one on the books for me, Mando. I’ll come calling soon enough.”

His hands don’t stop shaking for hours.

Xi’an is right. It doesn’t take long for her to come to him.

A simple job gone bad, the target fleeing into hyperspace too quickly to follow. Xi’an had been seducing him in a flashy racetrack before he fled. Din had followed as her backup, watching her writhe on the target’s lap and whisper in his ear. Every now and then her eyes would flash to Din, holding the expressionless gaze of the visor as she guided another man’s hand to knead her breast.

He told himself it wasn’t supposed to affect him. He didn’t care what she did, or who touched her. The scene from that night played in his head wrapped in nausea and regret. No partner he’d ever laid with drew out that much uncertainty and self-loathing, and he wasn’t keen to return to it.

But her curves still called to him, now straddling the mark’s waist. Familiar stirrings pulled up hard against disgust as he pushed the ravenous monster back down. It had gotten louder, fiercer after taking his pleasure so brutally. It screamed to take her again.

All of her work led to nothing. The target caught Varlo stalking up to apprehend him and make a quick exit. Even with four highly skilled mercs after him his resources won out. A faster ship, quicker access to his speeder. He was just within their grasp when he blasted off and into the atmosphere.

Xi’an shrieked her frustration into the air as the team re-entered the Crest. Malk confirmed there was no point following. They’d try again when he showed up at whatever gambling circuit he fancied next. She couldn’t stop prowling the ship, head down, glaring through her lashes. Varlo got a few sharp swipes for giving away their plan, but he threw up his hands and moved into the engine bay to let her cool off. Qin reclined in his hammock, watching bemused as she tried to self-soothe with no luck.

“Mando!” she finally hisses, jerking her head sharply as she strides past him and out of the Crest. His shoulders stiffen instantly, her brother’s hot stare branding his back. Hazarding a look back, Qin’s raised eyebrow and smirk make his face burn. But he still follows.

Xi’an is around the front of the Crest, leaning against the landing gear and seething. Din comes close, waiting for her to acknowledge his presence. Her eyes rake over the helmet, snarl less playful and more agitated.

“I’m cashing in your debt, Mando,” she says, whipping her belt out of the loops so quickly it cracks. Din’s hands tighten on his, stance faltering.

“Not sure that’s a good idea,” he murmurs, bracing for the impact of his words. They land hard on her skin, quick steps bringing them chest to chest.

“I don’t give a flying kark what you think. I gave you my throat to cum in, it’s your turn. Give me your cock.”

Din balks, trying to disentangle from the swirling vortex of rage, but her hands are small and quick to grab at the fabric around his neck.

“Or you can give me something else, Mandalorian. Show me your face if you won’t fuck me,” she snarls, grabbing for the edge of his helmet. He yanks her arm away, but the other tries just the same. He snags it in his fist, whipping his head back when she tries to knock the helmet off. Both wrists captured he pushes her back, pinning her against the landing gear. Her hips jerk against his own, legs kicking at his shins. Some blows land, leaving dark reminders for days to come. Her bared teeth and hissing finally push him to pin both of her hands with one of his, the other coming to firmly wrap around her throat.

That finally stops her, eyes fluttering as he puts just enough pressure on her windpipe to quiet her. Hips rolling against his hardening cock, he leans in to crowd her against the durasteel mechanics.

“Is this what you want?” he husks, removing his hand from her throat to shove into her pants. The fit is tight, his thick forearm and vambrace stretching the waistband, but his skilled fingers cup her hot cunt. Even with the gloves on he can find her clit, roughly circling as she gasps and rocks against him. “Needed this attitude fucked out of you?”

“Mmm-hmmm,” she moans, hooking a leg behind his thigh to pull him closer. He yanks his hand out of her pants and pushes slick-soaked leather between her lips.

“Take them off, or I won’t,” he growls, waiting for her teeth to tug his gloves off his fingers. She stares at the tawny skin, all the silvery lines cross-crossing his knuckles and fingers. He tries not to dwell on this, on how she’s already pushed him past what he knows he shouldn’t do. Jamming his hand back into her pants he buries two fingers in her wet cunt, setting a fast and firm pace that has her crying out against his overwhelming hold. The monster snarls inside him, salivating at the prospect of rucking her pants down and…

“Mando, need your cock, need you to fuck me,” she whines, just short of begging. It knots his stomach that she knows how much she’s making him lose control. The rhythmic slap of his palm on her intimate flesh has him full and hard, grip tightening as he feels her walls spasm around his flexing fingers.

“Cum like this first and I’ll see if you deserve my cock,” he rasps, buying himself enough time to calm his raging libido a fraction. He shouldn’t fuck her, shouldn’t let this go on any longer than it already has, but his body is thrumming, snapping and snarling into her as she beckons him to let go, to find something blinding in her soaked cunt.

Her orgasm clamps down on his fingers suddenly, the raw shriek making him clap his hand over her mouth. The loss of his hands pinning her wrists gives ample opportunity to rush open his pants and find his weeping cock. A few well-placed strokes has his rational mind dissolving into the single-minded concept of fucking.

He bends her over the landing gear, tearing her pants down over her ass to expose her glistening pussy. Normally that sight makes his mouth water. Instead he tugs on his cock a couple times to prepare.

“Hurry up, Mando,” Xi’an whines, arching her back higher to present her hole to him. He pushes her chest down hard, a whoosh of air escaping before he sheaths his cock in her tight pussy. The momentary ecstasy of his slick entrance washes over him, planting both hands on either side of her head. His first thrust punches a moan from her lips, followed by a litany of curses and whines as he snaps his hips fast and hard. The loud smack of skin pulls out a thin moan of his own.

“Karking Maker, Mando, you feel so good,” Xi’an croons, a momentary lapse in vitriol. It makes Din chuckle as he grunts at her wet clutch.

“This all you needed? A cock to make you bearable?” he teases, angling his hips to drill into a spot inside he knows will make her scream. She gathers air before he shoves his sticky fingers into her mouth, pinching her jaw open as he penetrates her here too. Everything is dripping and liquid and hard and soft at the same time. His own orgasm is fast approaching, a roar in his ears that he chases with fervor.

“Gonna cum again,” Xi’an gasps around his fingers, slamming back against Din’s thrusts as she chases her own end. Two people so far inside but so far apart.

Din dutifully reaches between her legs and pinches her clit, sending her toppling over into a shuddering orgasm that clenches his cock so hard he has to pull out and cum all over her other tight hole. Lightheaded and heavy-limbed, Din tries to regain a semblance of control over the situation.

This is just returning the favor.

This won’t happen again.

He doesn’t want this to happen again.

Shuffling back, he uses his bare hand to scrape his cum off her ass and flick it on the ground. Xi’an pulls her pants back up as Din tucks himself away and turns to stride back into the Crest.

Stepping outside looking to be without a care in the world is Qin, licking Jogan fruit juice off his fingers as he discards the peel on the ground. Din’s whole body locks up, fight or flight response screaming at him to get away.

“Get a good eyeful brother?” Xi’an singsongs behind Din, walking past him to re-enter the ship. Qin mock-glares at her as she passes and saunters away. When his eyes land back on Din he waits for a fist or a blade to connect with his flesh. Instead Qin just shakes his head with an amused expression and follows his sister.

Dread lands heavy in Din’s belly. His grip is slipping and he’s not sure whether he’ll hang on or fall into something even harder to climb out of.

That was the last time, he says to himself as he leaves a freshly fucked Xi’an in the ‘fresher.

This time it’s over, he says as he splatters his cum on her tits.

Never again, he promises after he spills his load into her tight asshole, cursing to the Maker about how good she feels choking his dick.

He tries over and over to stop it, to tell her no, but every time she whines and needles and baits until he can’t help but bury his frustrations in her body.

It’s been months since he joined Malk’s crew, and the spoils of their missions were fat in his pocket. He knows he should sneak off to the covert, give them the credits needed to keep them safe. Or to Karga, pay him his cut of whoring out his Mandalorian. It itches in the back of his brain, the duties he’s supposed to be performing.

Instead, he ignores Karga’s messages on his holo. He spends the credits on upgrades to the Crest and Corellian whiskey and brothels. The last is in a desperate hope to rid him of his addiction to the purple Twi’lek plaguing his bed.

She stalks his days and haunts his nights, rarely away from each other. It makes it easy to let her straddle his waist in the tiny cubby of a bed and ride him until he’s dripping out of her. Sometimes she follows him when they’re on-world to the places where he spends his credits. The first time he caught her he made her watch as he fucked a plain but skilled prostitute. The following times, she joined him in his debauchery.

He tells himself it’s the last time every time, but the fire always returns. The itch under his skin. The monster that roars under Xi’an’s sharp nails and sharper tongue batters the inside of its cage and howls until Din can leave more marks on her skin. It’s feral and bloodthirsty. Definitely unhealthy.

He still can’t stop.

The bounty they lost finally turns up in a swanky hotel on Coruscant. Xi’an goes to complete the job, her cover not blown enough to approach the target again. Words and drinks pass between them before his hands are groping her beneath the table. They slink away together, Din’s helmet following their heat signatures. The man’s crotch is white fire, but Xi’an’s registers no hotter than her body temp.

Couldn’t even get her wet. He’d have her blazing by now.

Din waits for the signal to apprehend the target outside the closed hotel room. Long minutes tick by, Din’s imagination spinning wildly as he imagines the man’s fingers in her pussy, licking her clit like he can never do, spitting in her mouth like he sometimes imagines with a frightening tightness in his groin.

A trill sounds. Time for action.

Din bursts in, blaster pointed ahead of him to take in the lewd scene. Xi’an is naked on the bed, the target thrusting into her from behind. Her face is bored until she sees Din enter, lax posture trading for silky and sexy.

“What the kark-!” the target shouts, hands shooting up in surrender.

“Took you long enough, Mando, I had to put up with this paltry cock for much too long,” she sighs, arching her back and presenting her heavy tits between her arms.

“I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold,” he rasps, modulator hiding the strain in his voice. Xi’an tuts, shaking her head.

“This is my mission, Mando, and I get to decide that.” She cocks her head at him, backing up against the target.

“Does it make you jealous, knowing he’s inside me right now?” she purrs, circling her hips to elicit a choked gasp. Din’s hand tightens on the blaster, forcing his posture to be neutral.

“You did what you had to,” he grits out. Xi’an shrieks out a laugh.

“I didn’t have to fuck him. I wanted to, because I wanted to see what you’d do when another man tries to cum inside me.”

Din’s arm begins to shake, and the monster snarls inside him. Mine, it roars. My fucked up little thing to break.

“What are you going to do, Mando?” she taunts, rolling her hips on the terrified man’s cock.

“What you want.”

Xi’an’s eyes flash in triumph.

“I want to bring him in cold.”

Din shoots a blaster bolt between the man’s eyes, toppling him over and onto the bedroom floor. Xi’an wastes no time crawling to the end of the bed and turning around, round ass in the air.

“Fuck him out of me, Mando.”

They pull orgasm after orgasm out of each other with a dead man on the floor. His blood stains one corner of the bedding, crimson as regret. When Din has her splayed out below him, tits bouncing at the force of his thrusts into her abused pussy, she croaks out a request.

“Take it off.”

He stills inside her, fire in his veins replaced by ice cold clarity.

“No.”

Xi’an snarls at him.

“Show me the face of the man that’s fucking me, Mandalorian.”

His hand comes up around her throat, a warning squeeze rougher than the ones he normally doles out. She quiets, but he has to flip her over to drill out his last orgasm. The disdain on her face is too much.

Seventeen missed holos from Karga. Shadows that follow him when he strides through town. And yet Din can’t pull his head above water. The light get fainter every time. During one mission he freezes in front of a snarling attack massiff and for a blissful moment wonders if its bite would kill him if he bared his throat. Varlo fells it instead, giving Din a confused look as they return to the Crest.

“You been sleeping, Mando? You seem off.”

Din bristles, stride widening.

“Don’t pretend that matters to you.”

Varlo shrugs, veering off to speak to Ranzar. The anger masks the anguish until later that night, when Din begs for the thoughlessness of sleep.

“Need some company, Mando?” Xi’an asks, like she does most nights.

It’s better than guilt, at least.

It’s not long after Xi’an’s hunt that Qin climbs up into the cockpit while Din is piloting. They just entered hyperspace, the streaks of light soothing Din. The quiet sinks into his bones, contrasted against the dread of re-entering the cargo hold. The air is thick with boredom and potential energy waiting for a spark.

He’s turning to leave, find somewhere to escape for a few more moments of peace, when Qin clears his throat. He stands in the doorway, leaning against it with folded arms. Din stills, a standoff between the two men. He was wondering when he might have to endure this conversation.

“Whatever is going on between you and my sister,” Qin starts, right to the meat of the matter. Din respects that he doesn’t pull punches. “You need to figure it out soon. You may be having the time of your life fighting…and fucking.” He sneers at this, making Din’s face scorch under the helmet. “But the longer she thinks something is going to come out of it, the worse it will be when you tell her no.” Qin shifts to stand chest to chest with Din. They’re close in height but in this moment Din feels small and sacrificial.

“She doesn’t like being told no. I’m sure you’ve seen that.”

He has. The helmet is the symbol of his refusal, and Xi’an seethes at it. More than once he’s had to pin her hands down, too bold in her touches. Some days she playfully grabs at the lip, pulling him down to her level, but doesn’t let go quick enough for Din’s liking. Other times she lays her hands on either side and it feels tender. Her eyes soften, and Din wonders if there’s a hurt girl under all the posturing that wants proof that he cares for her.

He’d told her once, as they laid in a post-coital tangle. The Creed, the helmet, why it meant so much to him. He didn’t speak of the covert, or of any other Mandalorians. They both have their own secrets.

“It’s a symbol of my fidelity,” he said. Xi’an lifted up on one elbow and studied the sharp lines and curves of the helmet, fingers tracing the impressive profile.

“How beautiful it must be, to have someone so devoted,” she murmured. “What a gift.”

It’s one he can never give her, and she can never forget it.

“If you aren’t planning on giving her what she wants,” Qin husks, leaning in with a steely gaze. “Don’t drag it out. Make it professional.”

He leaves as quickly as he arrived, the weight of his words now on Mando’s shoulders. Qin has never been kind, but his ultimatum is a balm to Din’s anguish. He needs to end it. If he believes her to have any gentleness underneath her posturing it would be cruel to continue. There is no room in his devotions for her.

The monster inside his chest finally soothes, curls into a ball and sleeps.

She doesn’t take it well.

“You want this to stop?” she laughs, lounging against a tree. Din had deigned to tell her away from the others, wanting privacy and space for her anger to hit a flash point.

“We’re professionals. This is too messy,” Din says, keeping his voice as even and calm as he can. Her face changes from incredulity to anger.

“This isn’t over just because you get a crisis of conscience.” She pushes off the tree and stalks towards him, suspicion coloring her demeanor. “Did my brother say something to you?”

That’s a trap he’s not going to walk into.

“I can’t give you what you want,” Din says, holding his ground as she comes chest to chest, much like her sibling. How alike they are in their ruthlessness.

“Of course you can. You’ve got a perfectly good cock and talented fingers and some Maker-blessed stamina. Plus you’re filthy,” she purrs, raising goosebumps on Din’s neck. “What else does a girl need?”

Din tilts his head, watching her closely as he sees the shroud of the lie settle.

“The helmet,” he sighs, exasperated. His words hit the target. Xi’an’s features twist, shocked out of her feigned nonchalance.

“You’re ending this over a stupid little symbol?” she spits out, circling him like a prowling loth-cat. Din tenses, tempted to follow her path but knowing she’ll take advantage of it. He prepares for a blade.

“I won’t remove it for you. And I’m done fighting you trying to do it yourself.”

There’s a moment where he sees the hurt girl he’s trying to spare. It’s quickly raked back with fury. She hisses, digging her fingers into his cowl and yanking him backwards. He stumbles to his knees, his cape now wrapped around her forearms as she cuts off his air .

“All your morals and high ground as you’re spilling as much blood as we are, Mando. Defiling my body as you pray to your Creed. You’ll be crawling back to my cunt in no time, and I’ll slit your throat before I let you make a fool out of me.” Just as his vision begins to darken she releases her hold, letting painful lungfuls of air back into his chest. One boot kicks him square in the back, and he topples forward into the dirt.

“You’ll regret this, Mandalorian.”

She storms off to the Crest, leaving him gasping and coughing. He wishes, not for the first time, that he never shook Malk’s hand, never let them onto the Crest, never let Karga talk him into this.

He wishes for time to stop, to take back everything the last months had carved out of his soul. For a bed, and a soothing touch.

(where is she now? Could she ever look at him the same way, after all he’s done?)

“New assignment,” Malk calls down, a groan of relief lifting the mood in the hold. “Big yield, and even bigger hush money.”

Qin grins, jostling his sister as Malk descends to them. She nods, listless since their argument. Din prefers that to the rage. It still pulls at a confusing feeling in his chest, something akin to regret.

“Where we off to? I’ve been itching to get out of this karking morgue,” Varlo gripes, taking the holopad from Malk.

“Cleanup effort on Alzoc III. There’s some mines infested with a local species the mining company needs cleared out. Not sentient, but territorial. Mando, need you in the air. Varlo, running logistics. Qin, Xi’an, you’re with me doing ground work.”

Din rolls his shoulders and cracks his knuckles. A big haul should set everyone up for a good while. Improve spirits, and maybe give him the boost to break away from this group that only becomes more hostile by the day. His silence will cost him, but with enough credits he may be able to buy himself back into the covert, and the Guild’s good favor.

Alzoc III it is.

The planet is icy and hostile, vast snow-swept tundras and sharp peaks slicing up into the permanently gray skies. The harsh weather eats up heat from the outside in, the Crest’s life support systems working overtime to keep the interior above freezing. Din had to pull out a heavier flight suit, the other crew members donning furs and goggles in preparation for the mission. Xi’an had taken to glaring at Mando any time he was in the room, so he’d stayed in the cockpit for most of the trip. Malk had scoffed at him, standing behind the pilot’s chair as Din maneuvered them out of hyperspace.

“Women problems, Mando?”

Din did not deign to give him an answer, but Malk persisted.

“Not a good idea to mix business and pleasure. A man of your experience should be more careful,” he says, clapping a hand on Din’s paudron. He tenses, but Malk releases him quickly after and heads into the tense hold with a snicker under his breath.

Din can’t wait to have the Crest to himself. Months of close quarters were making him itchy with tension, a constant frenetic thrum under his skin that he can’t even fuck out now. Varlo’s company would be silent at least. Plus a simple point-and-shoot mission has its appeal. The rest of the dossier states that the mines are overrun to the point that they can’t send in crews to extract the planet’s precious commodities.

Varlo plots a multi-stage assault; Malk, Xi’an and Qin would place bombs at mine entrances and pick off anything that could tip off the plan. Once at their sniper posts, Din would aerial attack the mines from above, detonating the bombs and dropping his own payloads to collapse strategic parts of the tunnels. The mining company provided blueprints, and designated the choke points that would create the least amount of cleanup effort for them after the fact.

In retrospect, when Din’s nightmares push into this shadowy period of his life, it was so well thought out it should have made him pause. They didn’t need highly skilled mercenaries, they needed bodies to carry out this plan. What the company really bought was silence, and anonymity.

Din circles the Crest just out of range of the mines, waiting for the go signal from Malk. Varlo lounges in the jump seat, occasionally speaking through his communicator. Din doesn’t much enjoy conversing with Varlo, so of course this is the time he decides to be chatty.

“So, was she purple like…all over?” Varlo says, raising the hackles on Din’s back.

“You can ask her yourself. I’m sure she’d love to tell you,” Din replies calmly, banking a little harder to the left than he means to. Varlo chuckles low in his throat, his gaze burning into Din’s back.

“I mean I could, but it’s more professional curiosity. I’m surprised she hasn’t gutted you in your sleep yet.”

“Mando, time to shine!” Malk’s voice rings from the Crest’s holocomm.

“Roger,” Din murmurs, the muscle memory of his training kicking in as the Crest dives into the valley. Everything that’s plagued him for months - the loss of control, the cloying atmosphere, Xi’an’s magnetic push and pull - all fades into the background when he’s flying. His shoulders loosen, grip on the controls firm but relaxed. The lift and dip of the Crest is a familiar dance, lapping waves on a beach he’s never visited but somehow always knows.

Then the first explosion appears through the transparisteel, and he dives into action.

The entire assault lasts maybe a quarter hour. Each explosion triggered by Malk is timed with another bomb Varlo releases out the cargo doors. The more powerful weapons hit their mark, miles of tunnels collapsing with shifting snow to fill in the depressions. Sometimes a small group of moving creatures - barely perceptible - burst from an entry, and the on-ground team quickly eradicates them. Din isn’t even sure he feels the cold creeping into the ship, too wrapped up in the warmth of a skill he’s honed for decades being used to its utmost ability.

“That’s it, Mando, we’ll bring her down to pick up the rest at the hanger pad.” Varlo indicates a vast stretch of buildings, no doubt some shipping operation, with a generous landing zone. Din wonders how much trade must happen on this desolate planet, and how pitiful their price must be compared to the credits the company rakes in.

Once landed, Varlo leaves to speak with their contact and provide a final report. Malk gets the payment, but he’ll be a little while traipsing across the frozen grounds. Din takes the lack of anyone on his ship as a brief moment of respite, checking for any potential damage and wandering through the cluttered living space. His annoyance at the mess is less than usual, the silence after a job well done vastly improving his mood.

Deeper in the ship checking on engine function, Din hears a clatter. His shoulders slump again. He’d hoped for a little more peace and quiet before they returned. Trudging out to the cargo bay, he’s met with an even stranger sight.

Varlo left the cargo door open, the windbreak from the surrounding buildings keeping the elements at a minimum. Instead of the crew ascending the ramp, two furred creatures freeze just inside the warmth of the Crest. The larger one puts its body between Din and the smaller one, four black pearl eyes locked on him. His hand itches to grab his blaster, absolutely certain these are the creatures infesting the mines. They’re supposed to be hostile, ferocious and powerfully strong. He might be able to take one, but two could be a problem. He steels himself for a charge, but the larger one holds up one long-clawed hand, three fingers spread in the universal symbol for wait.

Din stops, confusion and a cold pit of dread opening in his stomach. The larger creature looks back at the smaller one, stroking its face as they make high pitched chirps and buzzes at each other through strange tubular mouths. Their fur is matted white and gray, easy to blend in on the tundra, as they tower taller than most bipedal creatures Din has encountered. The brief conference concluded, the larger creature rummages in its fur.

Din snaps his hand to his blaster, unholstering it in a flash to point at the creatures. The smaller one squeals - Din swears it’s in terror - and the larger one whips its head up to look at Din. It stills, one hand now held out overflowing with baubles. Din’s blaster falters as the creature takes a tentative step forward, offering lustrous milky pearls. His throat closes up, but his training keeps his weapon on them. At his lack of movement the creature looks back at the smaller one, urging it forward. It holds their faces together, foreheads touching as plaintive whines cut through the air. The pearls transfer, and the larger of the two urges the smaller forward.

Din can’t breathe, chest banded with horror. The littler creature holds out the offering, clicking and chirping as the larger one waits back. It’s all too clear to a man who lost his family in a war he did not understand what this transaction is, and what the consequences of his actions means. He drops the blaster, stepping towards the creatures. They shrink back in fear, but the little one still holds out shaking hands, pearls dropping to clink on the durasteel floor.

“I…” he says, heart hammering in his throat. The larger one - the mother, he thinks - raises its head with something like hope.

“What the kark?!” Varlo shouts, ascending the ramp. Din tries to speak, to explain that everything has gone so wrong in a handful of moments, but Varlo’s blaster is already out.

Three bolts, loosed with deadly efficiency, and the smaller creature falls, pearls scattering on the floor and rolling away. The shriek of the larger creature will haunt Din for years, as clear as the day he heard it when he finds another pearl lost in the ship.

“No!” Din screams, but Varlo is already turning to the charging creature. Three powerful swipes knock him down, blood spurting into snow, before he fells the creature with another series of blaster bolts. Then it’s just Din, gasping amongst the gore. Sobs wrench his throat, hot tears running down his cheeks as he shakes on his feet.

“Fuck, Mando…need…kit,” Varlo gasps. The creature cut him deep, flashes of white bone peeking through the layers of flesh. Blood dribbles from his lips, teeth stained red as he struggles to breathe. His voice is faraway and tinny, but Din’s body answers. He walks numbly to Varlo’s side, kneeling beside the man’s mutilated body.

“They were sentient,” he says, and the horror blends into anger, one hotter and more encompassing than any he’s ever felt.

“Get me a Maker-damned bacta shot!” Varlo burbles, a rough cough spraying blood on Din’s chestplate. He’s not sure when he decided to slit Varlo’s throat, but one moment he’s alive, the next he’s laid out with unseeing eyes, the messy slash of a vibroblade mimicking the brutal claw marks.

He doesn’t remember moving the creatures’ bodies, laying them down on the icy ground outside the Crest.

He doesn’t remember what he tells the others when they return. Xi’an and Qin stalk by, barely affected. Malk chews the inside of his cheek, staring at Varlo’s corpse for a few moments before entering the Crest.

“Split is four ways now. First come first serve to his things. We take off in 5.”

Din doesn’t recall where his body was during takeoff, or once they got into hyperspace. The events play like a holovid missing an actor, feelings and sensations eerily absent. He thinks he piloted them off world, attributed to muscle memory. He remembers a conversation, but not with who, or why it began.

“The species was sentient. They tried to barter to get on the ship.”

“Mando….”

“One attempted to sacrifice itself for the other. An animal can’t do that.”

“We got paid not to ask questions.”

“That wasn’t a mission. That was genocide.”

“You’ve done worse, Mando. We all have.”

Except that wasn’t true. In the song of Din Djarin, this would always be his greatest sin.

One tip to the New Republic was all it took. A set of coordinates and a date and time. Malk wanted to gamble and whore after Alzoc III, and Qin and Xi’an had no qualms. Din only sat silently, the days since the genocide bleeding into one another. Xi’an had tried to tease him about it - seems like you lucked out against those claws - but his cold turn of the head and quick exit quieted her tongue.

He waited for them to leave, credits in hand, before reporting their whereabouts to the New Republic garrison. He conveniently left himself and the Crest out, detailing his crewmates’ crimes and exactly where they would be. Then he laid low, waiting for enough time to pass so as to not arouse suspicion.

He would not see Qin or Malk for many more years, though he’d hear of their escape from some Guild contacts. Not much could hold either of them for long. Xi’an didn’t leave him so quietly.

“Karking traitor!” she screams, leaping on his back outside of the Crest. A blade sinks into his shoulder, ripping a cry from his lips. She pulls it out and drives it back in his bicep, his hands scrabbling to throw her off. She gets him two more times before he crushes her against the Crest’s hull, knocking her grip loose. His left arm is screaming, blood pouring down his fingers.

“After all we did for you, you turned us in?!” Her knife hits home again, swinging to stab into his calf and the meat of his thigh in quick succession. Din disarms her, skittering the knife away, before landing a blow in the center of her chest that, with a little more force, could have stopped her cruel heart. She lies gasping on the ground, eyes wide and wild as they look at him towering over her. For a moment that uncomfortable feeling pulls at him again, something like regret and remorse and a mourning of what could have been. It weakens him enough to kneel down, body screaming.

“I’m sorry…” he tries to say, the next words lost in his turmoil. Sorry for starting whatever fucked-up thing they had between them? Sorry for not being able to give her what she wanted? Sorry for how it was destined to end?

Another blade sinks into his side, ripping down as she screeches.

“You are nothing but a traitor, Mandalorian. Betrayer of your allies, of your Creed. I hope your Maker-damned helmet ends up in the gutter with your corpse.”

He yanks the blade free, head dizzy at the realization that much of his blood is on the ground instead of inside him. He puts one hand around Xi’an’s neck and squeezes down. She’s out in seconds, dragged to the hangar entrance for the New Republic guards to find. Safe or not, he takes off with the Crest and manages to close up enough of his wounds with the cauterizer to stop the bleeding, burnt flesh singing his nostrils. He blindly dials in coordinates for Nevarro, barely staying conscious through the jump. Once autopilot kicks in he dips into darkness.

The Guild takes him back. Begrudgingly. He pays his dues and offers them the pearls the creature spilled across the hold. Their value surprises him, almost annoyed he didn’t save some for himself, but the thought of his own pockets lined with treasures given by the dead chills his blood. He leaves them all with Karga, and waits for the distrust to fade from his face.

The covert welcomes him back with disapproval. His wounds spare him for a few weeks, sequestered from the rest of his people. It makes him ache, the obvious disappointment of his alor and the wariness of his fellow Mandalorians. The rumors swirl about where and why he was gone so long, why their beroya would betray them. He takes his penance, every blow and setback and humiliation. It is no worse than how he punishes himself.

When he returns to the Crest, tucked in the back of a trusted hangar, the mess strewn about the hold claws at his throat. He removes every memory of those months, setting belongings and refuse outside the cargo doors for scavengers to pick through. Even his own personal items make it into the pile, the memories attached to them too painful.

He cleans the ship top to bottom. No more hammocks strung from every corner. No more constant noise. No more ever-mounting tension. Just durasteel and silence.

It takes a full day to bring the Crest back to pre-Malk condition. The darkness surrounds Din, and after weighing the pros and cons of returning in the night he closes the cargo door. Shuttling open the small cubby sleeping space, he crawls in and settles on his side. The door slides shut with the lights dimming soon after.

Din lies there as his body slowly quiets, his armor digging into his sore shoulder, tender ribs and neck. Piece by piece he removes it, laying the shining examples of his honor beside him. The helmet is last, and it’s the first time in months he’s been able to breathe without it inside his own ship. The pillow is measly under his head, but he sinks down with a sigh. Arms tucked into his chest, knees pulled up to his stomach, surrounded by the walls of his ship and nothing else, he lets himself mourn the deeds he’d done. It will be far from the last time, but this is the rawest, the most painful as he let the shame grip him. Once exhaustion wins the hums and whirrs of the Crest lull him to sleep.

Din doesn’t tell you about Xi’an. It’s a lie of omission - you never prod him on his past, and he rarely asks about yours. There’s no reason to dredge up pain. If you want to offer something you do, and if you truly ask him he’ll offer pieces of his own. But you’re not swapping stories around the fire. So he sees no reason to tell you.

Until one day, he does.

It was the perfect sandstorm of triggers. A child snarling at her brother, then squealing out a laugh that cuts through his head. The singing of blades through the air as some men toss them at a target. A purple Twi’lek between you and Din, reaching out a hand to clap your shoulder. Din’s hurried steps bring him to your side in record time, helmet tilted down in challenge but the Twi just looks at him curiously and takes a step back. Your own brow knits, a bag of supplies in hand.

He tries to center himself back on the Crest, busying his racing thoughts with jump calculations and messages to contacts about the Jedi. It works until you climb up to the cockpit, leaning against the console as he turns his attention to you.

“Bean found something in the ship, I thought it might be important,” you say, holding out your upturned palm.

A pearl.

He thought he’d found them all, but the child’s nosiness unearthed one last bloody memory. He freezes, hands tight on the console.

“Been holding onto some treasure?” you tease, but your face is uneasy as you sense the tension in the air. “I’ll put it somewhere safe, maybe we can barter it…”

“No,” Din rebukes sharply, snapping the visor to you. Your eyes widen, chest curling in on yourself.

“Okay,” you say quietly, hand closing around the painful object. Din slumps, leaning forward and hanging his head.

“I’m sorry, it’s…nothing good will come of that. It was bought with blood,” he says quietly.

“So are most things on the Crest,” you say, wrapping your arms around your middle. Din heaves in a breath.

“Not the same kind.”

And so he tells you the story of Ranzar Malk and his employment, of the acidic crew and the six cloying months he spent with them. Of Xi’an and her allure, and the pain it caused. Of Alzoc III. Of the pearls.

You listen in silence, watching as Din relates his darkest story. The shame burns his skin, eats at his stomach, sours his tongue. How can he possibly redeem himself in your eyes after this? Would you ever look at him the same again?

Once he finishes, and the quiet of the ship pervades, you move to stand between his parted knees. Two hands settle on his shoulders, and without reservation he wraps his arms around and lays his head just below your breasts. The rhythmic inhale-exhale of your breathing cools his pain.

“Have you seen any of them since?” you ask. Din huffs out a sigh.

“Malk hired me for a job a few months back. Didn’t tell me the mission, just relied on a debt being repaid and the Crest still flying.” Din shifts against you, considering leaning away, but your firm hands keep him held to your chest.

“Was it bad?”

“We were rescuing Qin from a prison ship. Xi’an was there, set me up to be killed by the new team. I left them there.” After the draining retelling, he can’t bring himself to extrapolate on the tense reunion.

Tell me why I shouldn’t cut you down where you stand.

I did what I had to.

Oh, but you liked it.

You were hired to do a job, so do it.

Isn’t that your code?

Aren’t you a man of honor?

“Thank you for telling me,” you finally say, stroking your thumbs along the line of his shoulders. “That was…difficult. To tell, I’m sure. It was hard to hear.” Din fists your shirt, squeezing his eyes closed at what will surely come.

“You made decisions and you’ve suffered the consequences of them.” You cup the back of his neck through his cowl. “And if you think I haven’t made a terrible decision about who to trust, I have stories I can share. Later,” you say, lightness in your voice. It makes Din lean back to look at your face. If you could see his, you would know his mouth is dropped open, eyes wide and wet, as you stroke the sharp lines of his helmet. You’re the only one he trusts to touch.

“Did you think I would hate you for this?” you ask, and Din’s nod is barely perceptible but you feel it. “You’ll surprise me, and terrify me many more times Mando, but you’ll never drive me away. The galaxy is only shades of gray.”

He lets you hold him for a time, hands soothing on his worn body. Your acceptance doesn’t heal him. By now he’s not sure anything will. But it balms the wound enough to breathe easier.

It’s the beginning of letting himself know you, and be known by you. When you say that your best friend taught you how to skip rocks, he asks how you met her. When you look on in wonder as he dresses a piece of game, he explains how his buir taught him survival hunting. And when the child wraps his tiny claw around Din’s thumb and he strokes it gently, you ask him if he has a son somewhere.

“No,” Din answers, the child warm in his arm and your body close enough to coax into his, if he would dare let himself want it. “But the Creed states the importance of caring for foundlings, and raising warriors.”

You hum and smile, turning back to your task, and for a moment much longer than fleeting, Din lets himself wonder if this is what a clan is supposed to feel like, and when it grew from two to three.

END

Interlude 2 of the I Think of You series

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jedi-hawkins · 7 months

Text

Bad Batch ~ Bryn-ayla Del Caro

A/N: Welcome all! Here's an introductory chapter to my Jedi OC, Bryn. I've been weaving her into the Star Wars Saga over the last year, Please give her some love! If anyone has ideas or constructive criticism, all is welcome. May the Force be with you!

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: canon descriptions of violence. Mentions of death, injuries and brief mention of suicide.

Next Chapter

The year is 21BBY, and the Clone War has been raging for just over a year. Jedi Master Bryn-Ayla Del Caro has come to Kamino to meet her new trooper squad, Clone Force 99. How will she mesh with this new batch of soldiers?

Footsteps softly echo off the pristine white floors of the Tipoca City Cloning Facility as two Jedi and a Kaminoan calmly walk through the hallways.

"The clone production is getting more and more efficient with each batch." The Kaminoan, Nala Se, says, gently waving her hand at a window that overlooks towers of embryos floating peacefully in bacta tanks.

Master Bryn-ayla Del Caro simply nods. "It is clear that your cloning facilities are impressive, and the soldiers you train are outstanding fighters. But with all due respect, I came all this way to meet my new squad, not for a tour."

"Yes, Clone Force 99." The other Jedi, Master Shakk Ti adds. "Our experimental batch. They are just getting ready to run the Citadel simulation for your assessment. Right this way."

She gestures to a nearby door and leads the way through a few more turning hallways until Bryn finds herself on a balcony overlooking the impressive Kaminoan training facility.

Nala Se takes her place at the direction console for the facility. "It will be just a moment."

Bryn turns to her comrade. "So, what more can you tell me about Squad 99?"

The togruta smiles. "As I said when we first talked, they're an interesting bunch. Each had their DNA modified to emphasize traits that may be desired in soldiers. Enhanced intelligence, superior eyesight and reflexes-"

"Amplified strength?" Bryn adds as the platform rises into the arena with four clones on it, one significantly bigger than his brothers.

"Now you're getting the idea." Shaak Ti responds. She looks over to Nala Se, "Are we ready to begin?"

The Kaminoan nods, turning to one of her assistants "Lets go with variation 473, and tap into their comms channel." she says.

The assistant nods, tapping a few buttons on the control console. The droids in the arena below come to life, raising their weapons as an automated voice begins a countdown.

On the platform below, the four clones are talking to each other.

"We've done hundreds of these, boys. We've got this in the bag." Their Sergeant says absentmindedly, his eyes trained on the new face on the viewing platform above.

The large one smirks under his helmet. "A simulation? Why don't they give us a real challenge?"

The group fans out, immediately settling into their places behind the crates set throughout the arena.

'Three... Two... One...'

The droids begin their assault. After assessing the situation, the sergeant turns to the man beside him. "Crosshair, towers."

The clone carrying a firepuncher rifle, Crosshair, gives a curt nod and creeps around the perimeter to begin scaling one of the towers firing down upon the squad. He makes quick work of them and begins picking off droids down below as his brothers begin their advance.

After a couple more moments, Bryn can hear who she assumes is the big one grumble to his comrade with a helmet modified to fit a pair of goggles. "Augh, this is boring."

Sensing what he's about to do, his brother shouts, "Wrecker, no!"

Completely ignoring him, Wrecker launches himself over the barrier they were sheltering behind, kicking a droid out of his way and immediately bringing his hands down on another. Shaking his head, the brother follows Wrecker's path while the sergeant pulls up the rear.

Mad laughter can be heard through the comms channel and Bryn smiles. "He seems to enjoy this. They have interesting tactics, Master Ti."

She nods and turns to the Kaminoan assistant. "Switch to variation 291." They turn their attention back to the arena as the assistant changes the simulation.

New armored battle droids rise from the floor, eliciting another laugh from Wrecker. The armored droids begin firing as more waves of battle droids close in, causing the three clones on the ground to retreat behind barriers.

Crosshair fires a couple shots onto the armored droids, but it simply calls their attention to him. They fire up to the tower where he's perched, causing him to retreat down to the ground where the sergeant is. His cool voice finally comes over the comms. "This is going well."

The clone with goggles looks over at Wrecker and remarks. "They must have changed the simulation parameters. It seems our original assault may not be sufficient."

"You think?" Wrecker grumbles back.

"Might I suggest Plan 23, Hunter?" Goggles says, looking at his Sergeant.

"Good thinking, Tech. That sound alright boys?" Hunter replies

They all give a nod and move to new positions, restarting their fire on the droids. One of the droids manages to hit Hunter's blaster, knocking it out of his hand. To Bryn's interest, he simply pulls a pair of vibro-knifes from his armor and continues with hand-to-hand attacks on the droids. "You let us know when you're ready, Crosshair." He says.

A couple more movements of fire between the clones and the droids pass and suddenly Crosshair calls over the comms, "Now!"

He and his three brothers each toss a small shiny disc in the air, and Crosshair fires a single shot, it ricochets off droid heads and the discs taking out every last droid in the arena.

The clones all emerge from cover and look up to the balcony where their spectators stand. "Nice job, boys." Hunter remarks.

Shaak Ti simply gives a nod to the clones below. "Come, Master Caro. Time to meet them in person." She says, beckoning the other master to follow her.

Back on the training floor, Wrecker turns to his brothers. "Who d'you suppose was up there with Shaak Ti?"

"Probably our new General." Tech replies, pulling a data pad from his belt.

"Tch." A single noise, dripping in distain from Crosshair.

Before the squad can say anything else, the door to the arena opens and Shaak Ti enters, leading what is definitely another Jedi behind her.

"Clone Force 99, may I introduce you to your new General, Jedi Master Bryn-ayla Del Caro." Shaak Ti says, waving a hand to the Jedi beside her.

The squad takes their helmets off, and a clone with a mess of long dark hair tied back by a red bandana steps forward. "General, I'm Sergeant Hunter, and these are my men." He points to the clone with goggles that's holding the data pad. "This is Tech, he's our smart one."

Then he points to the clone that towers over his brothers. His left eyes is clouded over and it's clear he's taken an explosion to that side of his head. "This is Wrecker. And finally-"

"Crosshair." Bryn finishes, looking at the tall and lithe clone with the rifle.

The squad looks at her in surprise.

"Woah, was that some kind of Jedi trick?" Wrecker asks with a grin on his face.

Bryn laughs, "Far from it. We were tapped into your comms. Your tactics are quite impressive. I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work."

Hunter glances to his squad. "With all due respect, we are a little confused as to why we are being assigned to you, sir. Don't Jedi normally command entire legions, or armies even?"

Bryn gives the remark some thought before replying. "Come, let's get something to eat and I'll answer all your questions."

"Please allow me to escort you." Shaak Ti says, but Bryn holds up a hand in protest.

"Thank you, Master Ti," she says "but I believe my squad can show me the way. We'll be fine"

The togruta considers the suggestion, eventually nodding. "Alright, please come see me in my office before you depart."

Bryn nods and Shaak Ti exits the arena. She then turns to the clone squad, "You are hungry, right?"

Hunter clears his throat. "Ah, yeah, yes sir. Come on boys, let's show the General to the mess."

Hunter falls into stride with Bryn, as his three brothers follow behind.

"So, who exactly are you?" Crosshair croons.

"Crosshair-" Hunter warns.

"No, it's okay." Bryn says. "I am Jedi Master Bryn-ayla Del Caro. I was born on Takodanna in the western mid-rim, brought to Coruscant when I was four to begin my Jedi training. I was padawan to Jedi Master Plo Kloon. I work closely with Master Obi-wan Kenobi and the 212th Legion as well as Knight Anakin Skywalker and the 501st. I'm sure they don't need introductions."

Bryn pauses, but the brothers are hanging on to her every word. "Depending on what files you have pulled up on that data pad there, Tech, you may see that yes, I did command a Legion for the Republic." Again, she pauses. The name of her fallen men catches in her throat. "The 43rd."

Tech adjust his goggles, quickly typing in a few things on his data pad. "Everything I have here confirms what you said, though there is one discrepancy. It says here that the 43rd Legion was wiped out entirely during the Battle on Jabiim early in the War."

Bryn's face falls. "There were two survivors from the 43rd."

"So you just left your men behind to be slaughtered?" Crosshair sneers.

Bryn's face hardens and she stops to look him dead on. "Why don't you hear me out before throwing accusations around? The front on Jabiim hadn't changed in nearly six weeks. The Republic decided to switch tactics. They divided the 43rd into its battalions and sent them to simultaneously attack Separatist strongholds to retake the planet. I was forced to stay with my point battalion at Shelter Base to coordinate our efforts and hold our only point of occupation."

Her words seem strong, angry maybe, but Hunter can sense she's terrified. He can hear her heart pounding in her chest as she continues. "Separatist Commander Alto Stratus had all our intel. He was able to maneuver through our defenses and launch a frontal assault on Shelter Base. I was at point, trying to buy enough time for everyone to get inside. I lost one hundred and twenty-seven of my men in that first attack. Good men. We had just enough time to triage the wounded before the second wave hit. I couldn't tell you how many assaults there were after that. The Seppies were armed far beyond what we expected. It was almost like they were toying with us as they divided that battalion and picked us off."

Bryn pauses, some screams of falling troopers echo through her skull. "It was all a blur. There must have been a break because the last I remember was my Commander dragging me out into the woods. Apparently it was four days before a rescue ship made it out to our location, I don't know how Steeler kept us alive. The next I knew I was waking up on Coruscant after spending a week in a Bacta Tank."

She takes a moment to steady her breathing and Tech's data pad let's out a couple beeps.

"Ah, yes." He says. "Here's the treatment report. Concussion, facial fractures, four cracked ribs, multiple lacerations and blaster wounds that needed surgical repair, shattered kneecap, bruising to the kidney, liver and spleen from blunt force trauma, and post-surgical intracranial bleeding." Tech lists off.

Bryn swallows. "I should have died. It took me three days to wake up after they fished me out of the bacta. Medics were unsure whether I was going to wake up at all. That's when I learned the fate of my Legion. The battalion at Shelter Base wasn't the only one that was compromised, all of them were. The other Jedi commanders and my three younger brothers were among the those killed in battle. The loss of Jabiim was a grave Republic defeat. Some men were lucky enough to survive the blood bath and made it to the med stations, but most soon died to their injuries. For the ones who left the medbays, it was only a couple of weeks before they chose to join their brothers. Commander Steeler and I are the only survivors."

The squad is silent for a moment as they soak in her story.

"Kriff." Hunter mutters. "I knew Jabiim was bad, but I didn't know how bad."

Wrecker's jaw is hanging open. "Well, what happened to you then?" He prods.

Bryn sighs, "Commander Steeler was absorbed into the 212th under General Kenobi. I've been helping both the 212th and 501st as well as doing some Ambassador work, but the Council and the Chancellor think it's time for a change. They wanted to move me to command the fourteenth sector army, but I refused the position." She trails off.

"You turned down the command of an entire army. How noble. Or was it fear?" Crosshair jeers again.

Bryn's face darkens. "No. I didn't agree with the Republic's decision to split my legion. It was early in the war and a lot of our troopers were still shiny, the command included. I wanted to take my lead squad to see what we were dealing with before attacking, but I was overruled. The Republic felt our numbers were strong enough for the siege to succeed with full frontal attacks. I should have gone against orders and taken the squad anyway. I knew it was the right choice even though the Republic thought otherwise. It's not the first time I've disagreed with Command, it probably won't be the last."

Hunter waves a hand down the hallway, beginning to lead the group again. "Then you may understand our-" He chooses his next words wisely. "-reservations about the Republic's decision to send you to supervise us."

Bryn stops and places a hand on the Sergeant's shoulder plate, "I'm not here to supervise you. I requested this squad. I see a chance for us to do for others what I couldn't do for the 43rd."

Wrecker cocks his head to one side. "You want to be here with us?"

"Your files were very promising. This elite clone force will be able to tackle the missions entire Legions can't figure out. We can save lives and hopefully bring this war to a swifter end." Bryn responds.

Crosshair rolls his eyes. "A Jedi wanting to save innocent civilians, how novel." He mutters under his breath.

"Not just civvies. Clones." Bryn says sternly. "The majority of the Republic leaders have yet to realize that throwing bodies at a problem rarely ever works. I'm looking to change that."

She turns and continues walking. "So, Sergeant, I know the skills of your brothers. What about you? With a name like Hunter, I might guess extreme patience. While that may be true, I sense there's more to you than that."

She chuckles at her own joke, which actually brings a smile to the squad's faces, save Crosshair. Though, Bryn is fairly sure she saw the corner of his mouth twitch upward.

Hunter rubs the back of his neck, smiling. "You would be correct, General. Heightened senses is the gift I got, but you're not wrong about the patience either."

Hunter paused at the doors the mess and they slide open to reveal a huge hall filled with the same face a few dozen times over. Hunter leads the way to the mess line, but a blanket of hushed whispers falls over the room as the squad walks through it.

"A Jedi?"

"That's General Caro."

"What's she doing here?"

A wash of relief falls over Squad 99, for once the whispers aren't about them. As they find a table to sit down with their trays, a shiny saunters up to Bryn with a smirk plastered across his face and two other shinies at his side.

"You know, General, why don't you come over with me and I'll show you how a real clone troops." He leers at Bryn. Many nearby clones turn to watch the scene unfold.

Squad 99 watches her, intrigued at how she'll respond. She simply keeps her eyes on her tray, spooning some stew towards her mouth. The shiny gets bolder and places a hand on her shoulder.

"What, you shy, loth-kitten?" He taunts.

The squad's eyes widen at his comment. Now the whole mess hall is watching. Hunter even clenches a fist, ready to stand to Bryn's defense. Bryn calmly takes a sip from her glass, and sets it down on the table, ignoring the hand on her. The shiny tightens his grip on her shoulder, opening his mouth for another comment. Suddenly a bowl goes flying off one of his mate's trays, landing on his head and splattering its contents everywhere. Hunter could swear he saw the General's hand twitch. Snarling, the shiny reels back and wipes the stew from his eyes only to see the general standing tall in front of him.

"Are you alright, Trooper?" She says, her voice smooth and calm. "You should be more careful, you might end up with your foot in your mouth instead of your lunch. What are you called?"

The shiny's face reddens, he answers with a growl. "CT-13-"

Bryn raises a hand, interrupting him. "No, what is your name, soldier?"

He blinks at her. "I- I don't have one."

She smiles. "Well, looks like you just earned one, Stew. I think it would be best if you finished your meal somewhere else." She turns and sits back down without waiting for a reply. The shiny and his mates slink back to a far corner of the mess hall and the general bustle returns to the room.

Bryn turns back to her meal but pauses when she notices the Squad is staring at her, mouths open. "What?" She asks plainly, a spoonful halfway to her mouth.

Hunter shakes his head. "I didn't know how you were going to react, but I certainly didn't expect that."

"That was awesome!" Wrecker exclaims

Bryn smiles. "That was a Jedi trick, Wrecker."

"Are they always that entertaining?" Tech asks, wiping a few drops of stew off his data pad.

"Definitely not." Bryn replies. "But I do seem to specialize in tricks of the edible variety. I threw a pastry at a fellow Jedi when we were in the Academy together, a besalisk with a bad attitude. Though, I just threw with my arm that time."

Again, the corner of Crosshair's mouth threatens to turn upwards, but a question from Tech draws Bryn's attention.

"So, Bryn. I'm curious, you said you're from Takodana, but you mentioned your brothers perished in the Battle of Jabiim. Did your family relocate and live in a village that was destroyed?"

Hunter can hear her heart skip a beat. "No. My brothers enlisted in the GAR at the start of the war. The 43rd legion was home to a battalion of nat-born soldiers. Sembren, the youngest, was only 24."

Tech rubs his chin. "Ah, so they chose to fight. I wonder why."

Bryn shrugs her shoulders. "I guess with a Jedi as an older sibling, they felt like they also had to answer to a greater purpose. I wasn't there to see them grow up so I wouldn't know. I never thought to ask when I did meet them. Sometimes I wonder what their lives would look like if they hadn't decided to serve the Republic."

"So you're the oldest of your family I take it?" Tech continues.

A shadow of something flits across Bryn's face, but she quickly replaces it with a smile. "The Jedi have long since been my family."

"What other Jedi tricks do you know, General?" Wrecker enthusiastically asks.

Bryn laughs. "Well, force-kinesis is definitely a party trick, but it can be a useful skill. With concentration, a Jedi can influence an individual's thoughts, though the success rate can depend on the subject's willpower or species. With study and practice, some Jedi can accelerate their healing. Many get visions in their dreams when the mind is more vulnerable. And of course, Jedi tend to have quick reflexes-" Her hand flies up and catches something- a spoon.

Wrecker, Tech, and Hunter turn in surprise to see Crosshair's outstretched hand.

"-which can be a huge advantage in battle." Bryn finishes calmly, setting the utensil down. "Though, the most helpful skill, in my opinion, is the ability to sense an individual's thoughts and emotions." She raises her eyes to Crosshair, who gets an uneasy feeling that she's actually looking through him.

"So," she continues. "If you all are done eating, then we can get going."

Hunter's brow furrows. "To where?"

"Oh I thought they would have told you." Bryn says apologetically. "I'm not just here to meet you, I'm here for our first mission. You're shipping out with me, tonight."

The squad's eyes widen as they look to each other. They're actually leaving Kamino.

Wrecker suddenly stands up, nearly knocking over the table. "Well what are we waiting for?"

Bryn and the rest of the squad stand up and clear their trays before walking out of the mess hall. The Jedi glances around her at the white Kaminoan hallways that all look the same.

Hunter appears at her right side. "You needed to go see Shaak Ti, right? Do you know the way to her office?"

Bryn shakes her head. "Admittedly no."

The sergeant smiles and jerks his head toward where his brothers are standing. "Come on, our barracks are on the way."

Once again Bryn finds herself winding through identical hallways until Crosshair, who's leading the group stops at a door. It slides open for them and the squad files in, Bryn last. She glances around and can quickly decipher whose bunk is whose.

Wrecker's is an absolute mess, blankets tossed everywhere, littered with ration bar wrappers. Bryn does notice there's a tooka doll tucked into the corner by Wrecker's pillow. Crosshair's is pristine. Three practice targets are hung on the wall, three sets of blacks are neatly folded on top of his crisply made bunk. He's managed to arrange some spare crates around his bed into a barrier between him and the rest of the barrack.

Much like Wrecker's, Tech's blankets are haphazardly thrown on the bed, but instead of ration wrappers, pieces of spare wire and mechanical components are strewn about. The majority of his bunk is occupied by what looks like a long-range transmitter, and the walls of his bunk are decorated with various scribbles of equations or gadget designs. Hunter's bunk is neatly made, not to Crosshair's caliber, but neat nonetheless. A spare pair of boots sits at the foot of his bed, a storage trunk beside them. He's decorated his wall will the same skull emblem as the one on his red bandana and '99' in Aubresh. He has his Sergeant accolades pinned above his pillow.

There are two spare bunks in a corner of the room. Neither have blankets on them, both are taken by storage crates holding a slew of random items. Hunter sniffs a couple times. "Ah, sorry about the smell, General." he says, setting his helmet down on a crate by his bunk.

Bryn chuckles. "Don't be, this is nothing. The 501st? Some of them are fresh enough to peel paint."

Again, Hunter smiles at her and turns to his brothers. "Start packing, boys. I'll be right back."

He steps back out into the hallway, pausing to make sure Bryn follows him. It only takes a couple minutes for him to escort her to master Shaak Ti's office.

He turns to make his way back to the barracks, but Bryn calls out to him. "I won't be long. When you all are done packing, meet me in Hangar 99. Expect to be gone for about ten days."

The doors to hangar 99 slide open as Hunter steps through with his brothers. His eyes fall on General Caro who's leaning up against an Omicron-class attack shuttle. She's added some armor pieces over her Jedi robes, something many generals choose to do. Hunter comes to attention in front of her, giving a salute. "Reporting, General." He says curtly, his brothers following suit.

Bryn chuckles and casually waves her hand. "No need for that boys, I hated it when an entire legion did it, still hate it now." The squad returns to their normal postures as she pushes herself away from the starship. "I trust you had no trouble finding your way here?"

Tech adjusts his goggles. "Hangar bay 99, very fitting."

Bryn smiles. "I thought so too."

Hunter scans over the ship behind the general in awe. "What is this" He asks plainly.

Bryn gestures wide to the ship. "Welcome to your new home away from home. The Havoc Marauder." She presses her hand to a button on the landing gear and the gangplank slides open. "Come on in."

The batch walk up the gangplank in turn and begin investigating the interior. After only a few minutes inside, it's clear the starship has been modified with a few more creature comforts than a regulation Omicron-class. Half the jump seats on the wall opposite the entryway have been replaced with a massive databank and multiple displays. The cockpit houses four chairs that look much more comfortable than regulation. Through the entry galley there's a hallway with two doors on one side and a single door on the other.

The first of the two doors reveals a mess storage with a ration warmer and even a small kaf press. Next door is the refresher, complete with a shower stall, albeit a cramped one. Across the hall is the med bay with a permanent bunk in the corner and some basic exam and trauma instruments. At the end of the hallway is another door that leads to a large space at the rear of the ship. On one wall there's three fold-down bunks and on the other side of the space are weapons racks and storage crates. The entrance to the rear gun is here and in the center of the space is a ladder leading to both the upper and lower cargo holds.

When the boys are done exploring, they come back to the entry galley to find Bryn leaning against the bulkhead to the cockpit.

"So?" She asks with a smile on her face. "Will this suffice?"

Hunter glances around him. "This can't be regulation."

Before Bryn can reply, Tech chimes in. "It is not. Clearly this ship has been heavily modified. Though, I may need to make a few more."

"How did you get this?" Wrecker asks, still looking around him with child-like glee.

Bryn shrugs. "Well... You nearly get yourself killed a couple times and people will give you something nice every once in a while. Crosshair, what do you think?"

The sniper's eyes had barely glanced around the ship before training on the general. As Crosshair's eyes narrow, Bryn braces for another snide comment that doesn't come. "Your armor."

His brothers focus on the general and they finally notice the armor plates she added to her Jedi robes are gleaming maroon-striped metal with the Republic insignia on her left shoulder, the crest of the Jedi order on her right. A striking set of jiag eyes adorns her chestplate.

"Beskar." Crosshair breathes, his unspoken question hanging in the air.

Bryn crosses her arms. "House Vizsla." She responds plainly.

"Woah." Wrecker exclaims. "Wait- what's that?"

Tech adjust his goggles. "House Vizsla." He repeats. "One of the oldest lineages of Mandalore, and the first Mandalorian bloodline to produce a Jedi."

Wrecker blinks. "But I thought you were from Takodana?"

"I am." Bryn replies. "My family descended from a branch of House Vizsla, but my ancestors left Mandalore not long after the fall of the Old Republic. This armor is one of the last pieces of that history."

"Would you ever go back?" Hunter asks.

"Although I have blood of the Creed, I would never be considered one of their own, I honestly have no desire to be. My people are elsewhere. 'Aliit ori'shya tal'din'."

The squad's eyes widen when Bryn speaks in their native Mando'a.

"Family is more than blood." Hunter repeats.

Let me know if you would like to be tagged in future works!

#star wars #the bad batch #tbb #the clone wars #bad batch #star wars oc #star wars tbb #star wars tcw #Bryn-Ayla Del Caro

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dorkofclanlavellan · 7 months

Text

Turning Point

Note 1: I got the idea for this chapter late last night and resisted the urge to work on it then because I was still fleshing it out. Also, I will be ignoring some "canon" information like the Killer Croc file, etc because I didn't care for the canon version. Faceclaim: Ethan Cutkosky as Jason Todd Pairing: Bruce Wayne x GN!Reader (Sweetie) Warnings: Violence, descriptive child abuse, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, vague reference of disturbing images on a bad guy's laptop. Sweetie as an alternative to Y/N (for those new to the series)

Jason pocketed the key the baker had given him the night before. He'd been scared out of his mind when Batman had shown up. It had been difficult to eat with Batman staring him down, expression entirely unreadable. But the baker had practically dragged the dubbed Demon of Gotham out of the kitchen.

Jason had a talent for moving without being detected. It was a skill he'd been forced to develop early on. So, quietly moving to the doorway the pair had ducked out, Jason began to listen in. They were whispering, clearly not wanting him to hear their conversation. Too late for that.

"He's a kid. I sincerely doubt he's going to kill me if I give him a place to hide out whenever he needs it." The baker had scoffed.

"You can't guarantee that, Sweetie. You don't know anything about him. He broke in. With a crowbar clearly he planned on using it on something." Batman's response made Jason cringe. He never planned on hurting anyone but he hadn't done himself any favors bringing something that could be considered a weapon.

"Pfft, yeah, on my display case! Bruce, I get that you're worried about me. And that's sweet and all. But this kid needs help!" It was at that moment that Jason realized why the baker had looked so familiar. He kicked himself for not remembering sooner. This was Bruce Wayne's newfound love.

But now he knew Bruce Wayne's secret. He took learning Batman's secret identity as his cue to slink back to his seat before his eavesdropping could be discovered. The adults had returned, seemingly unaware of the fact that Jason had overheard crucial information.

After he'd finished eating, the baker, whom he'd later learned to call Sweetie, had handed Jason a pair of keys. They'd explained the copper-colored one was to the bakery and the silver one was to their loft upstairs. They'd told him if he ever got hungry again or just needed a place to hang out for a while, he could let himself in, in a less destructive way, whenever he wanted.

Jason had been confused as to why this complete stranger was so interested in helping him. He'd expected to get hit when he'd been discovered in the bakery. And instead, they'd fed him, given him access to the bakery and their own loft, and had stood up for him to Batman.

He had just slipped out of the bakery for the second time after having been fed yet again by Sweetie and hanging around for what he assumed was long enough for his stepmother and her boyfriend to be passed out before he got home.

Boy was he wrong. As Jason slipped into the run-down apartment and began to silently make his way to his bedroom, his stepmother's boyfriend, Clay, stepped out of the kitchen, right in front of him, with a beer can in hand. Jason froze, hoping Clay wouldn't notice him. Again his hopes were dashed.

Confusion and surprise briefly flashed over Clay's face, followed immediately by anger.

"Where the fuck have you been, you little shit?!" At the man's yelling, Jason took a defensive stance, preparing for Clay's fist to come flying.

Then his stepmother, Sheila, came staggering out of the living room. "S'going on, baby?" She muttered, glazed-over eyes barely registering Jason's presence.

"Your shithead kid finally dragged his ass in! He has no respect for you or me, waiting so long before he finally shows up!" Clay snarled, stepping close enough to Jason to make the boy grimace at his foul breath.

"The fuck have you been?" Sheila demanded, glaring at Jason.

"Nowhere. I-" Jason's attempt at an excuse was interrupted by Clay's fist making contact with his browline, knocking him down to the floor. The blow made it impossible for Jason to register what Clay was yelling at him now. But he could take a guess.

Steeling himself, Jason kicked out at Clay's shin. Knocking the drunken man's leg out from under him. He attempted to scramble backward up the stairs but Clay was on top of him at a surprising speed.

Another punch, this time to his nose, and Jason silently wished it wouldn't be broken later. Followed by Clay's meaty hands wrapping around Jason's neck. Jason lashed out with both his hands and his feet, making contact on numerous occasions. But it was futile. Clay was too amped up on whatever drugs he'd taken to notice any pain now.

Jason could faintly hear Sheila screaming at Clay to let him go, not out of concern for Jason but out of worry that Clay would go to prison for killing him. Jason's vision was getting spotty and he was certain he was either going to die or at least black out and be left on the floor overnight like last time.

Then suddenly Clay's weight and hands were off of him. It became easier to breathe so Jason moved onto his hands and knees and began taking deep gasping breaths. They were a bit painful but Jason didn't care. He could barely make out the sounds of a scuffle behind him but the blood pumping in his ears drowned out most of the commotion.

Finally, once it became less of a chore to breathe and his heart rate, vision, and hearing returned to normal, Jason realized that someone had saved him. He had an inkling of who it was and the sight of his stepmother and her unconscious boyfriend bound a few feet away confirmed it. He heard the sound of laptop keys clacking in the other room. He followed the sound to the living room, where Clay kept his laptop hidden in the locked coffee table drawer.

There was Batman, typing away. Obviously looking for something to gain Clay further charges.

"How did you..." He started, wincing at the scratching in his throat. He rubbed his neck, hoping the swelling would lessen.

"Did you really think I wouldn't keep an eye on you after your little break-in last night?" Batman responded, not even bothering to look at Jason.

Jason watched him for a second, thinking how odd it was that he had the richest man in Gotham sitting on his ratty couch, using his stepmom's asshole boyfriend's laptop. The richest man in Gotham had just saved him. The richest man in Gotham had no idea that Jason knew he was Batman.

For yet another time that night, Jason was proven wrong.

"You seem to like spying on people, Jason." Batman suddenly said, again not looking away from his work on the laptop.

"Not really spying since you're in a common area of my home." If he didn't know any better, Jason could have sworn Batman chuckled at Jason's snark.

"True. But listening in on my conversation with Sweetie last night..." Bruce trailed off and Jason noted that his tone held no anger or hostility, merely amusement. Which just confused the boy even more.

Before Jason could ask or say anything else, Batman suddenly slammed the laptop closed. A sickened look on his face. Clearly, he'd seen something disturbing on Clay's laptop. Which didn't really surprise Jason. Clay would do anything for a quick buck.

Outrage soon washed over Batman's face and Jason remained rooted in place as he watched Batman storm over to Clay. Jason's eyes grew wide as Batman whipped out a red hot ring in the shape of his bat symbol and he couldn't tear his eyes away as the side of Clay's face was branded.

He only looked away when he saw blue and red lights flashing outside the window, growing closer by the second, accompanied by a chorus of sirens. When he turned back around Batman was gone.

But somehow Jason knew it wouldn't be his last encounter with Gotham's guardian.

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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 2 years

Text

The Soldier and the Better Man

Summary: Ben comes back from Russia looking for the life that was torn from him. He may have to settle for revenge.

Warnings/Explicit 18+: None really. Angst. Implied smut. Vengeful Soldier Boy. Sad Soldier Boy. Mentions of sex, nothing explicit. Some brief descriptions of torture and violence. Nothing overly graphic. TW: Mentions of child loss.

Pairings: Soldier Boy (Ben) x Y/N

Word Count: 2k+

A/N: This was written for a request by the lovely, @deanwinchesterwifesstuff I hope this is what you were looking for, hon! ❤️

The present day scenes will be in green. The past in white.

The SB in this fic is softer than in Canon, but still an ass, still pretty full of that TM. Other liberties are taken with Canon, just as an fyi. 😊

A/N: 2 This fic will also fill one of my daily prompts in the 30 Days Writing Challenge. It will cover the prompt: Write about two characters dancing together.

The beautiful dividers throughout the fic were created by @firefly-graphics

Masterlist || Tag Lists

He wasn't sure at first how long he'd been gone. The years and decades of torture had all eventually blurred together. And he had no idea how long he'd been sleeping in that fucking box.

It wasn't until he was out of the compound, running naked around the streets of Moscow that he saw the date, saw the year.

Forty fucking years.

He stood there, staring down at the paper he'd fished out of the trash, impervious to the cold, but still shaky on his long-dormant legs. He stood and stared at the date, and the numbness and confusion in his brain was slowly replaced with a heart full of boiling hot rage.

Forty fucking years.

She'd be... almost seventy years old now. And the kid would be... a grown man.

He ran off in search of clothes, knocking the teeth out of the first grubby guy he found who was roughly his size. As he slipped on the filthy track suit, his mind drifted back of its own accord, to the night he'd met her.

He'd been at some charity thing she was hosting, one of many organizations she was involved in, this one had something to do with runaway youth or something. He'd been paid a lot of money to show up and help rally for the cause.

So, he'd shown up, read the words on the cards they gave him and posed for pictures in his super suit. Same routine, different banquet hall. It was getting old.

He was sick of the endless jockeying for hierarchy at Vought, sick of the shitty movies and the bullshit press tours. He was sick to death of his fucking team and he wanted out. All of them were just assholes of varying degrees. He wanted off the Vought merry-go-round.

They'd been promising him for quite a while that they were gonna get Supes into the military. That's where he belonged, storming beaches and taking down the enemy, not giving speeches and making hypocritical "Just Say No" PSAs.

When the picture-taking had finally fizzled out, he'd escaped out a back entrance off the kitchen and let the door slam satisfyingly behind him. He leaned against the brick wall beside the door, pulled off his helmet and lit up a Lucky Strike. He inhaled deeply before pushing the smoke out through his nose and thumping his head back against the brick.

"Wow...it was really that bad, huh?"

He stood up straight as a woman appeared from the shadows on the other side of the alley.

Jesus, he thought, what kind of fucking soldier am I these days, if some skirt can get the drop on me so easily?

She smiled like she could read his mind. "Don't worry, it's my super power - being easily ignored."

He scowled at her. "You're a Supe?"

She laughed lightly and he found it strangely musical. "No, sorry. That was just my sad attempt at humor. I'm just boring old, plain human me."

He stayed where he was, staring at her. She WAS remarkably plain, none of her features were particularly striking or memorable. Her figure was almost completely hidden beneath a long, black shapeless dress.

He took another drag on his cigarette and she shook her head. "Those things are just cancer in a tube, you know?" Her tone was slightly scolding, but her expression was soft.

He shrugged. "Benefits of being a super hero, I guess. My body pretty much stays the same whatever I put it through." He took another drag, and exhaled away from her as she approached.

She quirked her head in a way that made him think of a puppy. "And you put your body through quite a lot, don't you?"

He frowned. Her reaction to him was very strange. Usually people were awestruck when they first met him, a reaction that almost always turned quickly to heat and drooling in women. But this woman wasn't awestruck OR drooling.

"Who are you, lady?" He asked bluntly.

She smiled as she came to sit near him, on the steps that led up to the loading dock.

"I'm the one who hired you."

He was slightly taken aback, and for a moment he thought about apologizing, putting out his cigarette and putting on his helmet, being the Soldier Boy she'd paid for, but in the end he couldn't be bothered.

Instead he took another deep drag before flicking the butt of his cigarette out into the alleyway and letting the smoke escape his lungs slowly.

"Was I worth the money you paid?" He asked, aware that he was making himself sound like a whore. Felt that way sometimes.

She contemplated him for a minute before nodding. "Well, we need to raise over ten million dollars if we're going to build the facility we want, a shelter for runaways. And all those rich folks in there are gonna want to show how similar they are to the great Soldier Boy, that they think the same way he does, so... yeah, you were worth the investment."

He shook his head, at her audacity. No one talked plainly to him like this, spoke the truth about who he was, what he offered. Vought told him he was a god, his team told him he was a warrior, fans told him he was a hero. No one told him facts. In spite of the ding to his ego, he found himself intrigued.

Who was this plain girl with the musical laugh and bald truths?

He stuck out his hand to her. "Well, I'm glad the 'Great Soldier Boy' got you the funding you needed. But you can just call me Ben, sweet thing."

Her grip was surprisingly firm as she shook his hand. "And you can call me Y/N, and NEVER call me sweet thing again, please."

The sound of a car honking and angry Russian screaming brought him back to the reality he was in, and he jogged forward, trying to quickly put more distance between himself and the place he'd been held and tortured for four decades.

A week later Ben once again found himself staring down at words that his mind couldn't immediately digest.

As he stood trying to make sense of them, his memories were again swimming around in his head.

He hadn't been able to shake the little do-gooder out of his head. The next time they crossed paths he'd decided that he simply needed to fuck her out of his system.

She'd come to his bed willingly and happily, and he found her body to be surprisingly soft and lush, and her responses to his touch to be tantalizingly heated and passionate.

She had no shame about sex, and they spent a couple of nights exploring each other and at the end she'd kissed him goodbye, expecting nothing more from him, while he'd found himself even more ensnared by her.

It was frustrating to him how tight her hold was over him and he told himself he was being a pussy by letting some broad dig her claws into him so deep. But without fail, he was always the one that made the next move, the one who called for a real date, the one who then proceeded to ask her out again and again.

She was unlike anyone he'd ever known. She was a bleeding heart and her politics sometimes drove him a little crazy, and he thought she was too naive for her own good. But she always argued her position well, and never backed down and that much he could respect.

She made no demands of him, never forced him to be anything he wasn't. When he was being a grumpy asshole, she'd tell him he was a grumpy asshole. When his temper would flare and he'd scream at her about some slight annoyance, she'd tell him to call her when he'd calmed down. And she'd just walk away.

She didn't put up with his bullshit, but she never withheld affection either. She touched him all the time, wrapping her arms around his waist and cuddling her face into his chest, simply so she could feel him against her. She would run her fingers through his hair when he laid his head in her lap, or give him gentle kisses between his shoulder blades when he was rigid with tension, and melt something inside him.

He fought against it for a long time, the last thing he needed was to go soft and stupid over some woman.

But Y/N wasn't just some woman, he realized eventually. He would never admit it, but he needed her desperately.

So, when she sat him down one day to tell him she was pregnant, he was amazed to find that he felt only joy, a feeling that, before Y/N had come along, he truly believed was beyond him. He could barely remember the feeling from childhood.

But as he put his hands on Y/N's stomach reverently, he felt the long-forgotten emotion surge through him, and for the first time since he was a little boy, his eyes filled up with tears. He blinked them away quickly and he'd deny them if asked, but he couldn't hide the joyful smile that lit up his face.

He saw the relief pass over Y/N's face and it hurt him a little that she'd been worried about his reaction. But he understood. He'd made no commitment to her, they'd exchanged no vows.

He was determined to rectify that and a few days later he was on one knee and she was saying yes.

The next six months were the best and happiest Ben had ever had. He was still dealing with Vought's bullshit, still sick of being paraded around as nothing more than living, breathing Vought propaganda. But that all melted away when he walked through the door to find Y/N waiting with open arms and eager lips.

He found a real, carnal pleasure in watching her body expanding with their growing child. He found he couldn't keep his hands off of her.

One night she'd cajoled him into dancing with her. She put on an old record and Billie Holiday's voice came crooning out of the speakers.

You must remember this

A kiss is still a kiss

A sigh is just a sigh

The fundamental things apply

As time goes by

He let her pull him to his feet and rolled his eyes as though he was simply humoring her, but he was secretly thrilled to have her in his arms. Her round belly, where their child slept peacefully, was nestled protectively between them and Ben felt his heart expand while his mind ran riot.

Swaying back and forth, her head on his chest and her small hand clasped in his, he was suddenly terrified that he was going to be an absolutely rotten father.

Visions of his own childhood, full of wealth but empty of love and warmth, ran through his mind, and his father's voice echoed in his ears.

You're not a real man.

You're a fuck up.

Real men don't take shortcuts.

So you're supposed to be some kind of hero now? You? Impossible. You are nothing but a fucking disappointment.

Get out of my sight.

Y/N must have noticed him tensing up because she lifted her head from his chest. "What's wrong, honey?"

He was about to brush the question off, but then he looked deeply into Y/N's eyes, and where he'd once seen plainness, now he saw only bright beauty.

He shook his head and asked the question he was the most curious about, and the most scared of.

"Why are you with me, sweetheart? I'm an asshole, I'm rude and hard. I rarely do something if it doesn't benefit me. I'm not kind, I have no patience, not a lot of conscience. You're this sweet, pure thing, Y/N, so...why are you putting up with me? Why are you committing to me, why... Why do you love me?"

She reached up and smoothed away the frown between his brows.

"Isn't it obvious, my darling?" She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "I think you're worth the investment." She said, repeating her initial assessment of him.

She smiled up at him, wide and sweet. "You're a better man than you think you are Benjamin Reed. I love the man you are, but everyday, I fall a little more in love with the man you're becoming."

For the first time since his mother died when he was six, he let a woman see a tear spill down his cheek.

Two days later, his team attacked, poisoning him and knocking him out. When he woke up he was a world away, tied to a table and screaming, as men in lab coats tried and failed to saw through his skin.

He shook his head, desperate to push away memories of the torture and keep himself in check. He needed to focus on the present.

He looked down at all the folders laid out in front of him. It had taken days to get to the truth, to track it down to a medical records storage facility, break in and scour through the files to find what he was looking for.

He'd read it all through a dozen times, but the information just rattled around in his mind as he tried to make sense of it.

He looked down at the words floating around on the page:

Patient deceased. Time of death, 11:06 August 20, 1984. Patient went into premature labor, likely brought on by stress. Patient suffered a stroke due to a pulmonary embolism during emergency c-section. Tried and failed to revive on the table.

That was it. That was all that was written about how the only light in his life had been snuffed out.

But he didn't need more. He could fill in the blanks on his own. She learned he was dead, as everyone seemed to believe he was, the shock had triggered labor, she died giving birth to a son.

A son that the records claimed only lived for a few hours. They called him simply "John". When the child died, Vought had apparently swooped in to arrange for body disposal, and a service for Y/N.

The records praised Vought and their charitable actions toward the child and it's mother, apparently all part of the company's charitable work with the hospital.

"Vought's good works shine through again." The official document had gushed.

Good works my ass, Ben thought. They took the body of my son to experiment, to test him and his genes.

Vought was constantly trying for a better Supe - faster, stronger, more endurance. No way they'd pass up the chance to study the dead child of a Supe.

Ben felt the rage boiling up again, his burning hot hatred of the company that had created him, began to make his chest glow under his newly returned super suit.

He felt the fury vibrating in his bones as he pictured each and every one of his former team, pictured how he was going to pull them apart, how he was going to crush their skulls under his bare hands.

He could feel the energy surging beneath his breastbone and he welcomed the destructive power he knew would come with it.

It ebbed ever so briefly as Y/N's voice whispered in his ear.

You're a better man than you think you are...

But his hesitation lasted only a moment. That better man was dead, murdered 40 years ago. In his place was a soldier. And the soldier's mission was clear.

Destroy Payback. Level Vought. Burn the world.

1. Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays.

@lyarr24

@siospins2

@impalaslytherin

@akshi8278

@maggiegirl17

@candy-coated-misery0731

@nt-multi-fandom

@slytherinlyn314

3. Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.)

@sunshineandwings86

@kazsrm67

@sexyvixen7

4. Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well)

@unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men

@awkward-and-indecisive

@maliburenee

@supernatural4life2022

@spn730015

@b3autyfuldisast3r

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@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

@fangirlxwritesx67

@charred-angelwings

@hopefuldreamers-world

@mysherlock221b

@jensensgotyoudean

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@thoughts-and-funnies

@magssteenkamp

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@bernasaurus

@jensenslady79

#soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x you #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy #soldier boy angst #request fic #30 days writing challenge

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thepurplewombat · 8 months

Note

For the violence ask game, can I request your answers to numbers 3, 10, 14, 21 and 22?

ooooh lovely choices here!

3: screenshot or description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

Oh, god, there are so many. But I think the worst and most frustrating ones are related to Jin Guangyao and Mo Xuanyu. I've seen a number of people say things about the whole thing being a lie from JGY's end to discredit MXY, and I've even seen some that called JGY a groomer, and tbh, it makes me sick on multiple levels. Allow me to explain:

So first of all, denying that MXY really did what he was kicked out of JLT for completely ignores some of the only things that we know about him from his own words (filtered through WWX of course, but isn't everything?). On Page 19 of Volume 1, WWX is reading MXY's demented scribblings and comes across the part where he is talking about having been kicked out of JLT. It is never mentioned that he feels resentment for this, or that it was all a lie - and if there is anywhere that it would say outright that MXY was angry because he was falsely accused, wouldn't it be in the private ramblings hidden in his own room?

Second of all, if JGY had really fabricated rumors that MXY had harassed him in order to get him kicked out, he would have had his own wound on WWX's arm. Which, let me be clear, he does not. We're talking novel canon here, and in the novel, all the wounds close once the Mo family are dead.

Third of all, I find it sickening because it is part of a pattern of placing JGY at fault for sexual and other violence committed against him. He was harassed by his own brother to the point of forcing him to expel him from the clan, he ended up married to his own sister - neither of those were his fault, but people tend to look at these situations and have just the most absolutely dumpster-fire rancid takes, like JGY committing sexual assault against Qin Su (he didn't - once he knew about their relationship he never slept with her again, and while yes, he should have told her the truth about why, his reasoning is completely understandable), or being into incest etc.

Actually also a lot of takes wrt JGY and sex are pretty rancid, but I think the MXY thing is the worst, and it keeps coming up and make me want to set the whole tag on fucking fire.

10 - worst part of fanon

There are a lot of fanon takes that annoy me - WWX is good at diplomacy, NMJ is a fluffy cuddlebear, LXC is a himbo, but none of them quite make me want to Hulk Out as bad as fanon JGY, who is essentially just JGS in a funny hat.

You want an uncomplicatedly and unrepentantly evil villain to pin your hate on? JGS is right there.

You want a rapist who never shows an ounce of regret? JGS is right there.

You want a monster who ordered human experimentation with resentful energy to be done? JGS is right there.

You want the author of all of WWX's post-Sunshot misery? Jin Guangshan is RIGHT FUCKING THERE!

But no, we're gonna go ahead and pin all of JGY's father's crimes on him.

ugh.

14 -that one thing you see in fics all the time

oh god, if I could have a penny for every time I have seen surprise villainYao in a fic tagged with xiyao I would be so rich. It's especially frustrating when it's in a modern AU, when a lot of the pressures that caused JGY to do the shit he did just didn't exist. With a lot of modern AUs you can't even say 'cool motive, still murder' (a valid take on JGY tbh) because 90% of the time he doesn't even have a motive? He's just out there killing people for shits and giggles and I'm like, 'You're thinking of Xue Yang. This isn't JGY, this is Xue Yang in a funny goddamn hat.'

21 - part of canon you think is overhyped

I've been sitting here for ten minutes trying to think of a specific part of canon that's overhyped and not just annoying to me personally, and I can't really think of anything? Like, there's this perception in fandom that LWJ is a loving and caring brother who did a lot for LXC, and that pisses me off because he is the worst didi in a work full of bad didis - JGY killed his elder brother, and still managed to not be as terrible a little brother as Lan 'abandon my brother who's just killed his best friend of twenty years with his own two hands to go fuck Wei Wuxian under a bush' Wangji. But that's annoying because it's wrong, not because it's overhyped, so I'm just gonna go with a big old 🤷‍♀️here.

22 - your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

I mean, I don't think it's ignored necessarily, but I would love for more people to pay attention to the fact that WWX literally made Wen Chao eat his own flesh, and that was really gross and horrible but also very sexy of him.

Because like, a part of the appeal of WWX is that he is legitimately monstrous. He does absolutely monstrous things during the Sunshot campaign, and people are right to be afraid of this extremely powerful and unpredictable person who commands the goddamn dead. But WWX is like an example of how you can be a monster but also try to be a good person, and a lot of people strip a lot of the complexity out of him by making him a Manic Pixie Dream Necromancer who's like, a little quirky but ultimately cool, and no, fuck that noise.

Wei Wuxian was a monster. He became a monster in response to the pressures of the war and his massive pile of untreated PTSD, but he was so terrifying that for a moment while I was reading the rescue of the Wen, I wasn't sure that they were going to go with him. And I wouldn't have blamed them for a second because this is the man who nearly single-handedly destroyed their clan, slaughtered their friends and families, and then commanded their corpses to slaughter even more. That's fucked up and villain behaviour, and nobody would have blamed the Wen for preferring the ordinary human torture and death and murder over whatever Wei Wuxian might choose to do to them. At least once the guards killed you the torment was over.

But a monster isn't all he is. He tries to do the right thing, he tries to be good, and while it doesn't solve the situation, it does mean something. Wei Wuxian's story is the story of a man who covered himself in blood to save his own life and the lives of others, and then found out that sometimes you don't get to go home. Sometimes the blood doesn't wash off and you spend the rest of your days with the shadows of your past hanging over you.

But he still tried! He still tried, and in the very end of the story, he is free, and happy, and loved.

But removing his darkest moments takes so much away from the light at the end, renders it so much less meaningful without the contrast of his darkest times.

Thank you for playing, sorry that my answers are so damn long, but apparently I get wordy sometimes!

#Wombat answers asks #wishthefish #jin guangyao #wei wuxian #yep I chose violence today #LWJ is the worst didi fight me

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mirkwoodshewolf · 2 years

Text

Protector of the vessel; Castiel x child reader

*Author’s note*

okay well this was a request LOOOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGGG in the making, it took some time but I finally came up with the plot to fit this request so @gabrielsilva1510 I hope you enjoy this request.

Warnings: canon violence. Dean’s ALIVE (they did him sooo wrong in the end of the series so that canon I’m electing to ignore), death, some descriptive scenes/actions of violence, some fluff and angst.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queen-paladin

@byersboys

__________________________________________________________

*Hawkins, Indiana*

It was nightfall over Forest Hill’s trailer park, a young girl around 10-11 years old was currently watching some Netflix on her laptop. She was already in her pjs and currently snacking on some chocolate bars.

“I should stop but truthfully I don’t give a shit. Sugar doesn’t really give you nightmares.” She said as she continued eating her candy all the while watching the documentary she had found about Skinwalker Ranch. But as she sat there watching her documentary, the lights in her trailer began to flicker on an off.

She looked around with a perplexed look on her face. She shrugged it off knowing that being in a trailer, the wiring was always faulty at times. However when they did it again, this time more frantic and continuously she got worried. She paused her show and set her computer down on the table when she was met with a sudden brush of cold air.

“Jesus Christ!” she hissed. “What the hell uncle Wayne, I know you paid the electric bill and all that.” She got up and went over to the thermostat only to see that it was still at the stable 73 degrees for the summer heat. “What the……” POP!! A lightbulb from a nearby lamp out of nowhere just exploded. Soon enough all the lights in the trailer began to explode but what scared her the most was that the door began rattling and shaking.

Even with it locked up, the loud and rapid banging almost made it seem like the door was about to come straight off its hinges. Terrified, she ran to her room, shut her door and crawled under her bed and curled up into a tight ball. She covered her ears and shut her eyes as tightly as she could as it felt like the entire trailer was shaking like an earthquake. Could other people feel it too? Was it an earthquake? But why was it so cold?

But then as quickly as the shaking and lights exploding happened, it stopped and the young girl was just surrounded in complete darkness. She spoke not a word and tried to keep her breathing under control, but her heart however rang as loud as a horn. She frantically tried to search through the darkness to see if there was anyone or anything out there.

Suddenly she let out a scream as she felt herself being dragged by her feet.

At the bunker in Lebanon, Kansas; Sam was currently on his computer seeing if there was a case for them to take. Dean walked in with a plate of pancakes and bacon and a cup of coffee as he said.

“Burning the midnight oil again Sammy?”

“Well ever since beating Chuck I figured at least we should look out and see if there is any cases out there that could make us have at least an easy win.”

“Right? I don’t know about you but I would like at least one case that won’t lead to an apocalypse.”

“Hey, hey check this out.” Sam said as he pulled up a sudden news article. “11 year old (Y/n) Munson kidnapped from her trailer home in Hawkins, Indiana.”

“How long ago was this?” Dean asked leaning over his little brother’s shoulder.

“Last night.”

“Jesus. It’s one thing when we get cases that involve idiot young adults or hormonal teens but kids…..I’ll happily knick the kidnapper right where the sun don’t shine.”

“Hang on Dean listen to this. According to reports from her uncle Wayne Munson, there was no sign of forced entry nor signs of a struggle.”

“Doesn’t sound like a human kidnapping. You think a creature took her?”

“Only one way to find out.”

“Right, let’s go then.” The boys made the drive from Lebanon to Hawkins and soon arrived at the Forest Hill’s trailer park where police tapes and a couple of police vehicles were still on the scene. Dean slowed the car down as an officer came up and asked them.

“Excuse me gentlemen you can’t be here.”

“It’s okay we’re here on official business. My name’s Agent Hetfield, and this is my partner Agent Hammett FBI.” Dean said as both he and Sam held out their FBI badges.

“Jesus Christ how many FBI Agents are on this case?” the officer muttered.

“What do you mean?” asked Sam.

“I would’ve thought the agency would’ve told you both that they already sent one of your other agents on the case. Agent…..Beyonce?” Sam and Dean looked at each other.

“Yes, yes we know who that is. He called us in for some extra help. He’s been out in the field for a couple years now and when it comes to kid cases he uhh—gets rather emotional.” Dean said.

“I here yah. I’ve got 3 of my own at home and this is probably the most puzzling case I’ve ever seen. The trailer you’ll want is down the road, 8th one to the right.”

“Thank you officer.” Sam thanked as Dean shifted Baby into drive and slowly drove forward. “Why’s Cas taking this case?”

“And more importantly why didn’t he call us?” Dean demanded. “And more importantly why is he still using Agent Beyonce? Everyone knows who she is, they’ll easily call him out on it.”

“It’s Cas Dean. But let’s get with him and find out what he knows.” As Dean pulled up to the trailer in question, he saw more police vehicles as well as the trailer taped off with officers and that’s when they saw Cas talking with an older gentleman that almost in a way reminded them of their grandfather Samuel. The brothers got out of the car and Sam called out to Cas.

“Agent Beyonce.” Cas and the older man turned and Cas greeted them.

“Agents, glad you could make it. This is Wayne Munson, he’s our kidnapped victim’s uncle.” Cas introduced the brothers to (Y/n)’s uncle.

“Mr. Munson, could you tell us exactly what happened the night your niece went missing?” Sam asked as he pulled out a pen and notepad.

“As I told your colleague here, I work nights at the plant so I wasn’t home when she—” Wayne trailed off as he took another drag of his cigarette. “I knew I should’ve asked one of the neighbors to check in on her, but that girl’s always been stubborn. Not that I blame her, she had to grow up too fast.”

“Okay so when you got back from work, did you happen to uhh smell anything?” Dean asked.

“This is a trailer park son, there are plenty of bad smells here.” Wayne sneered.

“What my partner means to say is was there anything out of ordinary in your trailer?” Same reiterated.

“Like what?” asked Wayne.

“Things like—rotten eggs smell? Cold spots? Possibly black goo?”

“No there was—there was nothing. Just an empty trailer. But uhh….”

“But what?” asked Sam. Wayne reached into his pocket and pulled out a guitar shaped locket.

“This was her locket. She never goes anywhere without it on.” Wayne handed the locket over to Sam who observed it and opened it up to reveal a picture of her as well as an older man.

He was about 10 years or so older than her with wild long brown hair. He wore a Metallica t-shirt, a black leather jacket along with a denim vest. Rings decorated his fingers as well as a couple of metal bracelets. Two of them making a devil face at the camera their hands on top of their heads making the horns and sticking their tongues out.

“Who’s the boy next to her?” asked Sam.

“Her brother, my nephew, Eddie.” The brothers and Cas looked at each other and Cas asked him.

“Mr. Munson, this may be difficult to ask but, do—”

“If you’re going to ask me if Eddie had anything to do with this kidnapping then I’ll kindly tell you agents to shove it up your ass.” Wayne snapped defensively.

“We’re not putting any stereotypes here, but we do need to look at every angle. Like where is Eddie now?”

“Hell if I know. The boy disappeared 5 years ago tomorrow.”

“Five years? Didn’t you make a missing person’s report?” Dean asked.

“You don’t think I did? I went to everyone, the cops, the media, anyone who would try to hear me out. But small religious town like this, people always deemed Eddie a freak ever since I gained custody of him and his sister after their parents were put away.” Wayne sat back down on the picnic table. “My nephew may look mean and scary, and yeah I always got into fights with him about his drug dealings but he loved his sister. Practically raised her himself, he’d never just up and leave her like that. But the police only saw his criminal record both from here and San Francisco as well as how he physically looked like, so they just wrote him off and went onto more important cases.”

The brothers and Cas looked at each other sympathetically for the man’s loss.

“We’ll find her Mr. Munson.” Cas said placing a comforting hand on the older man’s shoulder.

“That’s what they all say.” Wayne took one last drag of his cigarette, threw it onto the gravel and smeared it down before walking off solemnly.

“Okay so we’ve got a missing 11 year old girl, and her brother both five years apart from each other.”

“That’s the thing Sammy, sure we’ve seen patterns of kidnappings but never really within the same family. Cas did you get a chance to look at the trailer yet?” Dean asked.

“Yes. I looked around and just like Wayne said, there was no signs of a struggle, nothing was missing or taken, no blood, claw marks. However when I checked for EMF, the scale was off the charts.”

“So what we’re looking at a ghost kidnapping?” asked Dean.

“I think we need to do a further digging into this town, maybe even into her brother’s disappearance. See if coroner had any records of his death. Can’t rule out anything just yet.” Sam said.

“Alright Sammy you go down to the library see what you can dig up about this town, Cas you and me are going down to the coroner’s.” They all walked back to Baby and Dean drove them off to their chosen destinations.

Meanwhile in what looked like an underground warehouse, the officer that first greeted Sam and Dean at the trailer park walked through the long hallway until he came to a room and he said.

“We’ve got a problem.”

“What’s going on?” said a dark skinned man.

“The Winchesters and that Angel of theirs are poking around trying to find the kid.” The officer said.

“Let them try.” Another voice spoke up. Coming in from the shadows was a young, handsome man with short blonde hair and deep blue eyes that sent both a hypnotic sense of pleasure as well as fear. “By the time they even figure it out, it’ll be too late. Tomorrow night will be the rise of our new Mother Eve, and with this new host she will not fail.”

“I’ll say. I put the kid down under my spell and every few hours she keeps waking up.” Said the dark skinned man as he revealed his ruin tattoos, revealing himself to be a Djinn.

“We just need her to be weak enough for her soul to be extinguished and for Eve’s soul to take over her body.” The young blonde haired man said.

“But what about the girl’s uncle? This isn’t like when you did away with her brother, plus kids get more media attention than adults.” The officer said.

“Leave that to me. For now keep up the rouse as your current body shifter. And don’t even think about changing bodies. The Winchesters and that angel of theirs are no fools. If our plan is to go accordingly, we must stick to the plan carefully. No swift changes, no sudden drawbacks, and absolutely no delays. Is that understood?”

“Just because you’re the new alpha Vampire doesn’t mean you can order our kind around.” Sneered the Djinn.

“We’ve been here long before your kind were born, and we’ll be here long after.” Snapped the Shapeshifter.

“And yet it was I that found the way to resurrect our Mother’s soul and none of you.” The vampire sneered arrogantly. “You have your jobs, keep to them. And don’t give the Winchesters or that angel a glimpse into our plan.” As the vampire walked off, the Djinn and the Shapeshifter looked at each other with narrowed eyes but agreed and went back to their duties.

At their hotel Sam was checking through the articles he had printed from the library as well as some further internet diving into the Hawkins archive that he hacked into. Dean and Cas walked in and Sam asked them.

“How’d it go with the coroners?”

“Total bust. Coroner said even if Eddie Munson did die, he’s someone else’s problem. These small towns I tell you what it’s like their stuck in the medieval times or something.”

“The Medieval times was more masochistic and unhygienic.” Cas stated as a matter of fact.

“Serious Cas, all this time and you still can’t pick up my sarcasm.” Dean looked at the angel perplexed. “What about you Sammy, any luck?”

“Nothing about any strange disappearances or anything supernaturally related. I mean this-this just doesn’t make any sense.” Sam said.

“We’ve had cases like that before, remember the Baba Yaga case? When it first happened we didn’t know what we were dealing with until just a few years ago.”

“I know but Dean think about it. An 11 year old girl goes missing from her trailer home. Five years earlier her brother goes missing as well. I mean could this be more familial? Because the only family that’s been effected by all this is the Munson’s.”

“What you think Wayne’s withholding something from us?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time right? All I’m saying is this doesn’t fit a ghostly MO.” As the brothers continued to talk, Cas felt this pull on his heart and he could hear the sounds of a girl crying. He walked towards the window and just stared outside with a slight tilt of his head.

“Cas? Cas? Cas!” he felt Dean’s hand shake his shoulder snapping him out of his daze.

“Sorry I uhh—thought I heard something.”

“Angel radio?” asked Sam.

“I don’t know. I…..” suddenly a flash of light surrounded Castiel and the next thing the brothers knew, he was gone.

“Cas?” Sam called out.

“Cas!?” Dean exclaimed.

“Dude what the hell…we didn’t do an angel sigil to send him away.”

“I know Sammy. CAS!! CASS!!”

Cas looked around and found himself in a wide field with a mountain range and a huge lake sitting in front of him.

“Hello Castiel.” A young voice said behind him. Cas turned around to see the soft smiling of Jack Kline.

“Jack.” He said as he walked up to his adopted son and the two of them hugged each other. “It was you that called me here, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. I needed to talk to you about the case you’re working on with Sam and Dean.”

“You know where she is?”

“That’s not all I know. And I’m afraid you’re not going to like it.” Cas looked at Jack puzzled as Jack began to explain to Castiel about the new rise of a new ‘Eve’ and how they were going to use (Y/n) Munson as her future host.

“So…..what do you want us to do? Kill her?”

“No. No, no, no, no, no. I want you to protect her.” Cas’s eyes narrowed slightly.

“Jack…..”

“You once protected me, now I want you to protect her.”

“Jack I—I don’t know how Sam and Dean will take this news.”

“I know, especially Dean will not like it, but if anyone can do it it’s you Cas.” Jack walked up and placed a comforting hand on the angel’s shoulder. “You, Sam and Dean are (Y/n)’s only hope. Because even if she is saved, she’ll still be hunted. And you know as well as I do that no one but you guys can give her the protection she needs.”

“Alright.”

“Oh and one last thing,” Jack took Castiel’s hand and using his newly God powers he transferred to Cas a stream of golden light. Jack’s eyes glowed a mixture of white and gold as he transferred the stream of light into Cas before slowly dimming and the last speck of golden hue entered into Cas’s palm. “You’ll know when to use that and who to use it on. Now go, you don’t have much time.”

Next thing Cas knew, he was back in the motel room with Sam and Dean.

“Cas! Man what the hell was that!?” Dean snapped.

“It was Jack.”

“Jack? As in our Jack?” questioned Sam.

“Yes. He told me where (Y/n) was and who has her.”

“Well don’t leave us in the dark Cas, where is she?” but before Cas could say anything, Dean’s cellphone rang and he growled softly as he picked it up and said. “Yeah?” he went silent for a bit, “Dr. Hughes, didn’t expect you to call us so soon.” Sam looked to Cas and he told him.

“The Coroner.” Sam nodded in understandment but both men grew concerned as they saw Dean’s face grow grim and solemn. “Right, yeah. Okay we’ll be right over. Yes thank you, see you in a few bye.” He hung up and turned to them. “They found Wayne’s body in the woods by the trailer.” Sam and Cas sighed grimly before they all agreed to go to the morgue’s to see what Dr. Hughes had to say about the cause of Wayne’s death.

When they got there, Hughes guided them to the back and removed the white sheet to reveal the corpse of one Wayne Munson. His neck completely ripped apart and stained with blood. His neck had been ripped apart so badly, there was a faint glimpse of veins being visible.

“As you can see, his neck had been torn apart to the brim. If I’m honest, I’d say it’d have to be some rabid dog or something. Now I’ve seen animal attacks before, my wife being the Hawkins vet but never have I seen something like this even if the animal was rabid.” He explained to them. “And unfortunately due to how his eyes are still open, I’d say poor Wayne was still alive while—whatever did this to him, ripped him apart.”

“Any missing organs or anything?” asked Dean.

“No. Everything was still intact, all except for his neck. Now I may not have liked his nephew but Wayne was a good man. He didn’t deserve this. And if (Y/n) is ever found, there’s no one left to take care of her now.” Dr. Hughes said as he closed Wayne’s eyes in respect and pulled the sheet back over him.

“Thanks for calling us Doc, we appreciate it.” Sam said as Hughes left the room to give the brothers and the angel a moment alone with Wayne.

“Alright so no missing heart so we can rule out werewolf. The only thing I can say for certain is Vampire but I’ve……”

“Never seen a vamp go this far. I” Dean finished for his little brother. “I swear if there weren’t for the heart being there, I’d say it was a werewolf.”

“Think it could be someone recently turned?” asked Sam.

“Even new born vamps don’t go that hard. Either this vamp was starving or got an enhancement from somewhere.”

“But what I don’t get is why strike in the day time? No vampire would be smart enough to do that.”

“They must be desperate in hurrying the process.” Cas said.

“What are you talking about Cas?” asked Sam.

“It has to do with the reason why (Y/n) was kidnapped.” Cas then began to explain to them what Jack had told him. The brothers listened intently and carefully to every word Castiel had to say, once he was done both brothers had a look of shock and anger.

“Son of a bitch!” snapped Dean.

“They’ve found a way to resurrect Eve. How-how is that possible?”

“At this point Sam when God managed to bring back every bad son of a bitch when he ripped open the doorway to hell, nothing surprises me now. But what I wanna ask is that Jack just expects us to—babysit afterwards?”

“She needs us Dean. Even if we do save her, they’ll still be after her.”

“He’s right Dean. Plus…..according to the family records, there’s no one else who can take care of (Y/n). Wayne was the only living relative who was capable of taking full guardianship over both her and her brother at the time. Everyone else is either dead or incarcerated.” Sam explained. Dean grumbled softly then said.

“Alright fine. But if we don’t save her in time, and Eve is truly back. We—we can’t take the chance. I mean it guys.”

“Understood.” Sam said.

“I understand, but we will save her.”

“Don’t get your hopes too high Cas. Now you said Jack knew where she was, right? Take us there.” Cas walked up to the brothers and gripped their shoulders and soon they disappeared from the motel room and ended up at the old mining field.

“There’s…..there’s something wrong.” Cas said.

“What is it?” asked Dean.

“Angel warding. They must’ve known we were coming.”

“But we haven’t even seen any monsters around Hawkins, how could they know we’re here?”

“Unless……” Dean looked at his brother. “While I was researching the town’s history, I did come across a report of a police officer’s funeral. The name was completely different but when I saw the picture of the officer—Dean it was the same officer that we first met when we arrived at the trailer park.”

“But he wasn’t a ghost, so that could only mean…..”

“Shapeshifter.” They all said.

“Alright then. Who knows what else we’re dealing with in there so I say just take the basics. Anything you can carry on your person or hand. Cas you stay here, we’ll find the warding and take it down.” Dean said as he took out more weapons from Baby’s trunk as did Sam. Dean shut the trunk then he and Sam hurried off to the building while Cas waited outside but also kept watch in case anything was hiding out in the forest that surrounded the area.

And a good thing too because Cas could immediately sense that something was watching him. There was a bit of rustling from the fallen leaves on the ground and the snap of a twig a second later. Cas quickly summoned out his angel blade and scanned the woods rapidly trying to pick up on any other sound that came from the woods.

Suddenly a flash of a blurred figure and soon Cas found himself on his back in the dirt. The sound of snarling and growling above him as he struggled with the figure that stood above him. Cas raised his leg and pressed his foot against the person’s gut before flipping him off of his body. Cas rolled over to get back up on his feet as well as to get a better look at the person that had attacked him.

He wore tattered clothes, ripped up black jeans, rings decorated his fingers and he had wild, almost untamable dark hair. His eyes were sunken in and filled with a lustful hunger, Vampire fangs bared at him as the young man charged at Castiel again. Like a wild animal, he snapped and tried to bite Castiel but the angel held firm until he tossed the vampire aside, making him skip and roll across the ground, but it still didn’t deter him.

That’s when Cas’s hand suddenly began to glow with the same glowing aura that Jack gave him.

‘You’ll know when to use that and who to use it on.’ Jack’s voice rang through his head. In his distraction, Castiel ended up on his back again, his hands pinned but he could see from the glow of his hand, the face of the Vampire that had him pinned down and he was surprised to see just who it was.

It was (Y/n)’s brother Eddie. His face already stained with dry blood but his hunger consumed him with a lustful desire for more blood. Eddie struggled to try and get closer to Castiel’s throat and drain every ounce of blood in his body.

Castiel however managed to get his hand free and placed it right on top of Eddie’s forehead and the young vampire let out a painful scream before collapsing on the ground. Eddie remained still for a moment as Cas got up and softly called out.

“Eddie? Eddie Munson?” Eddie let out a soft groan as Cas reached out and gently touched the young man’s shoulder. Eddie shot up and backed away breathing heavily and looking around frantically.

“What the f-what happened? Where am I?

“It’s going to be alright, Eddie.” Castiel assured him.

“Who are you?”

“My name is Castiel. I’m here to help both you and your sister.”

“(Y/n)? She’s….oh god. It—it was me. Wayne he—” Eddie started to panic as he gripped his head tightly and his breathing became erratic. “I-I didn’t mean to. I was—I was so hungry. They…..they tortured me, kept feeding me human after human before locking me away. Never seeing the light of day until they saw use for me! I…….it’s all my fault!”

“No, it wasn’t. It was the ones that turned you. They are responsible for what you’ve become.” Castiel assured him. Eddie looked up at the angel with pitiful tears. “Tell me what’s the very last thing you remember?”

“The last thing I remember?” Eddie repeated softly. Castiel nodded. Eddie kept his eye on the angel before shutting his eyes trying to go through his memories of the last 5 years. “(Y/n). She…..she had just won the Hawkins Spelling Bee. I……I went out to get her her very first guitar. She-she was always obsessed with wanting to play mine.” Eddie softly chuckled.

Castiel gave a slight smile. It seemed Jack knew all along that Eddie wasn’t beyond hope. He gave Cas a chance to save both Munson siblings from the prison they were both in, and he couldn’t have been more proud.

“I was driving back to the restaurant to meet her and Wayne……but then—there was…..there was a girl. On the side of the road. She-she looked to be about (Y/n)’s age. I pulled over asking where her parents were but all she said was she was lost and needed to find her mama. Then……” a flash of blood along the window and a woman with long red hair biting her wrist and force feeding Eddie her blood right there in his van flashed before his eyes. “I shouldn’t have stopped the van. I should’ve kept driving.”

“Eddie, I know this is difficult for you.”

“Difficult?” Eddie snapped. “Nah man, difficult was me repeating my senior year three times before I became fuckin Dracula. No this-this—this is insane!”

“It is a lot to take in but right now I need you to focus. Your sister needs your help.”

“Wait you—you mean those vampires want to turn my baby sister into one of them?!”

“I’m afraid she’ll be more than just a vampire.” Eddie wanted to ask more questions but Cas continued, “It’s a long story. Right now I need you to tell me, do you know exactly where they’re keeping her?”

“Not exactly. I was kept in a room chained up until tall, pale and blonde said it was time for me to go. But—I could hear her heartbeat.”

“Her heartbeat?”

“Yes. Must be some sort of vampire sense or whatever but the thing is, I could hear it. And there was also—chanting.”

“What language was it?”

“How should I know man, it sounded like something out of Tolkien.”

“Celtic.”

“Maybe, I don’t know.” Castiel turned and finally felt the warding that was on the mining fields being severed before he turned to Eddie.

“If you wish to help save your sister, I need you to show me exactly where they kept you. If we find that, we can find her.”

“We better. And if I find out that any one of those monsters harmed a hair on her head,” his fangs came out as he growled, “I’ll pull a fuckin Ozzy on their asses.” Eddie and Cas then walked into the mining entrance.

As Castiel and Eddie walked through the labyrinth maze of the mine fields, Cas began to explain to Eddie on how he and the Winchester brothers became involved with his sister’s case, as well as all the other times they’ve saved the world.

“So you guys have defeated the Devil, multiple demon knights, and God himself?” Eddie asked as they walked onward.

“More or less.” Cas responded.

“And you are an angel of God?”

“Yes.”

“If I wasn’t turned into a vampire and knew about all this shit I would’ve thought you were on one serious acid trip. But I do owe you for saving my ass back there Castiel.”

“It’s not just me you have to thank. Jack, or if you want to call him the new God, he saw that you needed help and he gave me the power to free you.”

“But I’m still a vampire, aren’t I?”

“I’m afraid so. The only way to turn you back is by having you drink the blood of the vampire that turned you. But it would only work if you hadn’t drank human blood.”

“Then I guess I’m stuck like this forever.” Eddie solemnly said as he kicked some dirt on the ground.

“I’m sorry Eddie. If there were another way, I’d try to find it.”

“I know. At least I can take comfort in one thing, thank Christ I do not sparkle.” The two men chuckled but soon stopped as soon as they heard something coming down one of the tunnels. The two of them hid themselves within another entrance as Cas gripped his angel blade tightly and Eddie’s fangs came out.

The sound of footsteps came closer and closer as they waited before looking to each other and nodding softly. As the footsteps as well as two lights from what looked like flashlights came closer, Cas and Eddie attacked but when Cas saw that he was pinning Sam against the wall, Sam exclaimed.

“Easy Cas it’s us!”

“Sam? Dean?”

“Hey Cas, we were wondering when you’d show up. Took your sweet time about it, and I see you had to bring a friend too huh?” Dean shoved Eddie off of him while Cas released Sam who adjusted his shirt collar. He turned to Eddie and said.

“Wait a minute. You’re—you’re Eddie Munson?! (Y/n)’s brother.”

“Yeah. In the flesh and—well I shouldn’t really say alive? Or do I I’m still so lost with what’s real and what’s fake with Vampire lore.”

“Vamp—they turned you into a vampire?”

“It was more like a trafficking situation but more or less, yeah. And before you guys suggest it, it’s too late to turn me back to normal. Your angel friend here explained it to me.”

“Sorry man.”

“It may be too late for me, but it’s not too late for my sister.”

“We’ve been searching this mine for what feels like hours and all we’ve met were various monsters guarding the place.” Sam said.

“Then it’s a damn good thing your angel friend snapped me out of my hunger-lust. She was kept close to where they kept me prisoner, but before we go any further I must ask you this.” The three men looked to Eddie as he continued, “Will you promise me you’ll watch over her? After this is all over?”

“Eddie what—” Sam started but Eddie interrupted him.

“Do you swear that you’ll watch over her?” he emphasized.

“We swear.” The three hunters said. Eddie took a deep breath and looked to the right and said.

“We walk down this way for about a mile then take the tunnel to the left.” The three hunters followed close behind Eddie, holding their weapons tight in case they ran into any more monsters.

After fighting off vampires, wraiths, and even a wendigo they came across a room with a steal door. Castiel raised his hand and with his powers, the doors bursted open and there they found (Y/n).

She lay there on her back unconscious surrounded by a glowing red light that had some sort of transmutation symbol on it. The shapes of circles and triangles blended into one and various runes written at each corner of the circle’s perimeter along with what appeared to be Latin and three large runes near the very center.

“Shit they’ve already started it.” Dean growled as they ran inside. Dean tried to run straight to her but he was suddenly thrown back by what appeared to be some kind of shield protecting her. “Damnit!” Dean groaned as he got back up on his feet.

“If we can’t reach her, how are we supposed to set her free?”

“You can’t.” Eddie growled as his fangs came out. He recognized that voice anywhere and his instincts were right when out of the darkness came the blonde haired, young Vampire alpha. “The Winchester brothers and their pet angel. I must say it’s such an honor to finally meet you three in person.” He mocked sarcastically.

“Sorry to say the same can’t be said for you twilight.” Dean sneered. The corner of the Alpha vampire’s mouth quirked up at the comeback before his eyes turned towards Eddie.

“And look whose come out of his cage? We’ve been looking for you.”

“Just so you can further scramble my head into your rabid pet till you have use for me?”

“You should be thanking us Eddie. We gave you a purpose, and now you can be reunited with your little sister.”

“Not like this. Everything was fine till you sent that bitch and that poor kid my way. You played with my emotions by sending out the kid first, to which you forced me to drain every ounce of her blood in the end!” Eddie breathed in heavily before he sneered. “You may have made me kill that little girl, but I’ll be damned if you’ll have me stand aside as you take my sister’s life away.”

Three more vampires soon came from behind the Alpha vampire and he said to Eddie.

“Very well then.” The three vampires charged towards Sam, Dean and Cas while Eddie and the Alpha Vamp faced off against the other. Eddie and the Alpha fought each other with such ferocity, it was almost like seeing two wild animals fight for dominance as tooth and fist were thrown at each other.

With some overpowering and teamwork, Sam, Dean and Cas managed to easily decapitate the other three vampires heads clean off. They then turned their attention towards (Y/n) and ran up towards her and Sam said.

“How do we get pass this transmutation circle to snap her out of it?”

“It might be a risk, but maybe I can reach her with my powers. Push myself through the barrier and awaken her mind.” Cas suggested.

“How big of a risk are we talking about Cas?” Dean asked.

“Quite possibly the combination of this transmutation and angelic grace, could cause the entire mine to collapse and killing perhaps everyone in this mine while also creating an earthquake to hit Hawkins.” The brothers looked at each other before Dean said.

“Well let’s hope that doesn’t happen. We’ll try to help Eddie with Voltori vamp.” Dean said. As the brothers raced off to try and help Eddie, Cas extended his hand and touched the barrier. The mixture of the red light and his angel grace were like two opposing magnets trying to fight for dominance over the other.

Castiel pushed and pushed until he could feel the magic from the transmutation circle beginning to decline, but only a smidge. The force of the magic was starting to weigh him down as he tried to walk through it, he even felt the pull of it trying to reject his very being within the circle, but still Castiel kept pushing on until he finally reached (Y/n)’s unconscious body.

He knelt down beside her and placed his hand over her forehead and tried to reach out to her very soul as he called out to her.

“(Y/n) Munson. You need to fight. I know things may look bleak and hopeless, but there are people who are here to help you. People who need you. You can fight against this darkness. Fight back! Fight!”

Inside of (Y/n)’s mind, her limbs were trapped by Naga tails and standing before her was the silhouette of what appeared to be the spirit of Eve. Her shadowy presence loamed over the small girl as she taunted her.

“No one can save you now child. Surrender your will to me, and all of this will be over.” Eve’s voice was low and spoke with a menacing yet motherly warmth to her. She extended her hand and held it over (Y/n)’s face as she let out a low groan, her eyes glowing a pure white.

(Y/n) started to feel her mind growing fuzzy and her vision was starting to go black. That’s when she heard the voice of Castiel and a bright light soon shined above the two of them.

‘(Y/n) Munson. You need to fight. I know things may look bleak and hopeless, but there are people who are here to help you. People who need you. You can fight against this darkness. Fight back! Fight!’ soon memories of her uncle and brother came flooding her subconscious. Even though she hadn’t seen her brother in over 5 years, she always kept those memories of him closer to her than any other memory she had.

Eddie playing his guitar for her, the two of them rocking out to music together, spending holidays with their uncle, going to the mall, and him just being there for her. Soon (Y/n) found the strength to break her right arm free of the naga tail and she reached out, grabbed Eve by the neck and ripped a sliver of her own soul.

Eve let out a painful screech which made the rest of the naga tails release (Y/n) and she ran as fast as she could towards the light. Eve faced her and with a growl before slowly clenching her right hand into a fist and soon figures of various monsters tried to stop (Y/n) from escaping.

But with a fierce determination and will power, (Y/n) ducked, dodged and avoided every shadow monster that tried to come after her. Even if she was knocked down, she quickly got back up and fought as hard as she could and continued to run. She ran and ran and ran until there was a flash of light.

“(Y/n)? (Y/n)!” Castiel called out to her. (Y/n)’s eyes shot open and she let out a gasp as she began panting frantically and as she awoke, the light from the transmutation circle died down. She looked around her surroundings and quickly backed up but Castiel reassured her. “It’s okay, it’s okay. You’re safe now. You’re gonna be alright.” Immediately she recognized his voice.

“You—you were……”

“Yes. I was the one that reached out to you. You’re gonna be alright, we’re here to get you out.”

“We?”

“Hey quick introductions, name’s Dean Winchester this is my little brother Sam and that there is our friend Castiel. We’re monster hunters and we’ve come to rescue you, so come with us if you wanna live.”

“Really? Terminator 2 reference?” (Y/n) sassed.

“At least the kid’s got culture.” Dean said.

“Those cuts on your wrists and neck look bad, can you walk (Y/n)?” Sam asked her.

“I think so.” She slowly got up but felt a dizzy spell come over her. Castiel quickly steadied her then once she felt like she could walk, the four of them ran out of the mine tunnels but paused as they came over a gruesome scene.

The Alpha vampire lay there dead with his head decapitated but there was also two more bodies that Sam and Dean didn’t see before. One was the body of the Djinn and the other was the Shapeshifter still using the body of the old dead Deputy sheriff. Both their throats were ripped apart as a pool of blood surrounded each of them.

Standing over them was Eddie, his hands dripping with blood and his mouth stained with it as well. Heavily but softly panting as soft growls and hisses came out past his lips.

“These fuckers came shortly after you two left. Probably heard Henry’s screams of agony when I ripped his left arm off. Thought they’d stand a chance against me,” he scoffed. “They maybe an older species, but they’re nothing compared to us.”

“Eddie?” (Y/n) spoke up, recognizing the voice of her long lost brother. Eddie turned and was both shocked and ashamed to see her. It had been five years since they’ve seen each other, and all this time she could’ve come to the conclusion that he abandoned her.

He was still alive after all, though he was now a monster he was still alive. And all this time he never once came back to her, to their uncle. He thought that she must hate him after all these years.

“Is-is that really you?”

“Hey sweetheart. I—I know what you’re gonna say. ‘All this time you’ve been alive yah asshole. You didn’t even once think about coming back to Uncle Wayne, to me’. I swear I didn’t abandon you guys I was…..I swear I was on my way home after picking up your surprise from winning the spelling bee when I got mixed up in…..all of this. Turned into a vampire and forced fed human blood or kept locked away like an animal starving. When my sanity was still intact, there wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t think about you guys. What you were doing? If you missed me or not? If—if you were looking for me? And I……”

Eddie’s speech was stopped when he felt arms wrap around his waist and a small head burying itself into his chest. He looked down to see it was (Y/n).

“I knew it, I knew you were alive!” Eddie’s eyes brimmed with tears as he wrapped his arms around (Y/n) and held onto her with as much love and desperation as she was holding him. He rocked her back and forth as he finally took her in after five years.

She had grown taller than he remembered, her hair was shorter and was curled compared to the naturally straight hair she had. But her baby-like face was still the same after all these years. The siblings looked at each other and Eddie gently cupped the side of his sister’s face as he choked out.

“You got so big.” The Munson siblings softly laughed. Eddie cupped the back of his little sister’s head and pressed a long and loving kiss to her forehead before pressing his own forehead against hers.

“Uhh hate to break up the long awaited reunion, but figure we escape now and hug later.” Dean piped up quickly.

“Yeah, yeah of course. There’s a short cut down this way, follow me.” Eddie said grasping (Y/n)’s hand and leading the three hunters and his sister out of the mining tunnels.

They left the old mine and Cas used his powers to transport them back to the motel as the brothers began to pack up their stuff and check out of the motel. Meanwhile the Munson siblings were sitting on the loveseat nearby an old radiator heater catching up with one another.

“Wayne never stopped believing you were alive either. He tried to get the media to put out a story about you, and every year on the anniversary that you left, he’d take a day off work just to track down where you might’ve disappeared to.” She told him.

“The old man always did believe in me.” Eddie said solemnly, his eyes filled with regret remembering what he had done in his bloodlust state.

“(Y/n), I—” Eddie started off but he stopped when his ears picked up on something coming towards them. He slowly stood up and walked out the door as (Y/n) softly called out to him.

“Eddie? Eddie what is it?”

“Yo Munson, you alright?” Dean called out to him. Eddie looked up to the sky and lowly hissed.

“Get her out of here.”

“What?” (Y/n) snapped.

“(Y/n) I want you to go with the Winchesters and Castiel and drive as fast as you can.”

“What about you?!” she asked.

“There’s no time to argue. I’m your brother you’ll do what I say!”

“No! I just got you back and I can’t lose you again! Eddie please we can leave together!”

“If I don’t stay behind, they’ll find you. They’re never gonna stop until they get you to become the next Eve.” Eddie cupped his sister’s face before turning towards the three hunters. “You three remember the promise you gave me, right?”

Sam, Dean and Castiel all looked at each other now knowing what Eddie was talking about.

“We know Eddie. From one big brother to another.” Dean said. Eddie nodded.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no please Eddie! Eddie please don’t go!” (Y/n) pleaded.

“Don’t you ever leave their side. And know that I will always love you my sweetheart.” As (Y/n) cried, Eddie kissed her forehead several times as Castiel came over and pulled her away from her brother. (Y/n) struggled and screamed out Eddie’s name, reaching out for him as she was pulled towards the Impala and the Winchesters quickly got in the car, revved up the engine and drove off as quickly as they could.

The last thing (Y/n) saw was Eddie being surrounded by 5 dragons.

After leaving Hawkins and returning to the Bunker, (Y/n) was getting healed up by Castiel while the events of the past couple of days kept replaying in her head.

“How do you feel now?”

“Physically or emotionally?” she asked.

“I guess either one is fine.” He replied.

“Well thanks to your angelic touch my wounds and head are healed, but—” she paused. “I can’t ever go back home, can I?” she asked in more of a statement than a question.

“(Y/n)……”

“I don’t want any bullshit! Don’t sugarcoat it, don’t lie to me!” Castiel sighed heavily through his nose and told her.

“No. No you can’t go home. Though we’ve saved you, they’ll still try to hunt you down.”

“And my uncle, he’s dead too, isn’t he? I—I thought I heard them say they’d take care of him. Did they…….”

“I’m afraid so. Just before we saved you.” Her breathing sharpened and she shut my eyes as tightly as she could to try and hold back the tears.

“I’m cursed. Deep down I’ve always felt that way, everyone in my life either abandons me or dies.”

“Your brother didn’t.”

“Yeah right.” She said snarked.

“You don’t know that he’s dead.”

“And how do you know he’s still alive?!”

“Because if he’s anything like you, he’ll do whatever it takes to fight and stay alive. Just like you did when you fought against Eve’s spirit.”

“I wish I was back home with my own family. I wish none of this ever happened.” (Y/n) whimpered softly as she leaned against her new bed.

“Unfortunately once you’ve crossed knowing the supernatural world, there is no going back. All that you can do is try to adapt to what will come. And you won’t be alone. Sam, Dean and I have agreed that you can stay here. We can protect you, help you.”

“Keeping me prisoner here?”

“No, not a prisoner. A guest. We can even teach you what we know so that way you can protect yourself. We may not let you go on cases with us, but at least you’d be able to defend yourself in case anything comes here.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready to consider you guys my adopted family.”

“And we understand that. So—how about just friends?”

“I guess I could make due with a few badass friends. But someone’s gotta tell Dean about his music collection cause it sucks.”

“Uhh excuse me? Kansas is not lame!” they looked up and saw Dean with a kitchen towel over his shoulder.

“But they’re nowhere near the peek that Ozzy Osborne and Black Sabbath are. Not to mention Iron Maiden.”

“Kid if you’re gonna be living in this bunker, I’m gonna have to give you the ground rules on real music. Not that scream metal that your brother has brainwashed you with.”

“It’s not all scream metal! Plus don’t think I didn’t see that AC/DC cassette tape.”

“Hey AC/DC’s good on occasion.”

“That occasion being all the time.” As the two of them began to argue back and forth as they all headed for the kitchen for dinner, outside of the bunker a figure stood just several yard away, hidden within the trees.

His face and clothes burnt and scarred but a warm smile was on his face. He reached under his shirt and pulled out a similar locket and opened it up to reveal the same picture that (Y/n)’s locket had. He gripped it tightly and pressed his lips to his fingers breathing heavily while holding back his tears.

“They’ll take care of you now sweetheart.”

He took one last look towards the bunker and walked away tying his black bandana over his head and walked off into the darkness.

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