#who says 'we are so good at sex'. unironically .

[arsonisticscholar]

Ok have we never thought about the fact that since lbh exists and is canotically able to have kids with both demons and humans, that demons and humans are the same species?

Ok hi, someone who is unironically interested in reproductive biology in the scientific way not as an innuendo, am going to explain how with the information available to me, I believe that modern day scientists would classify demons as the same species as humans

We all know that different species emerge through evolution, and that occurs through genetic isolation and natural selection and all that jazz, NOT through breeding between species

Now, how does a successful breeding work? There are a few steps that have to be taken in order to create life through sexual reproduction

First, obviously, sex. The actual act has to be possible for the species. A worm can’t reproduce with a cow simply because it’s sperm wouldn’t be able to even reach any zones where it could have an effect and they reproduce so differently that it doesn’t matter

Now say a cat and a similarly sized dog try to reproduce. Ok, the sperm might make it into the hole, but does it survive to make it to the egg? Not likely. Each species has specific and delicate environments to house specific and delicate sperm and if even one little chemical is too much or too little, all of the sperm may die before making it to any eggs

Now we get to the part we learn about in highschool biology where mitosis makes my toes and meiosis makes me or whatever saying y’all learned to memorize that but in case you forgot, the whole evolutionary point of sexual reproduction was genetic variety, so being able to swap chromosomes during meiosis is essential to actually making the baby. Different species of animals have different traits, so they have different numbers of chromosomes. So even if a baby is made, it would not necessarily have all of the traits it needs to survive to adulthood.

There are cases like mules where the act of sex is successful, the reproductive biome is just close enough that sperm can successfully fertilize, and the number of chromosomes is just one off from the necessary number to the point where these animals can successfully and relatively healthily survive to adulthood.

The thing is, since the parent species are not the same, they don’t have the same chromosomes. Meaning the mule cannot reproduce with either of its respective species due to not having sufficient chromosomes. Therefore it is not a separate species and is considered a hybrid.

With Luo Binghe, it is stated that in pidw he is able to reproduce with both demons and humans successfully. This means that a) sex works (but we know that already) b) sperm can survive both species bodies and c) he has the correct number and type of chromosomes for both humans and demons

The only thing this means is that humans and demons have the same genetic makeup

It could be similar to how dog breeds work where they have vastly different features but are still able to interbreed with each other and are considered the same species

One might say oh but what about the southern demons most of them are basically animals- DID YOU FORGET ABOUT ZZL!?!?

He is half snake demon half heavenly demon and although he doesn’t have any kids, it is never once implied that he is sterile and that the complications between his parents was more of a cultural difference than a worry about intermingling species

Which also implies that humans can reproduce with the more animalistic demons as well

I hesitate to compare demons vs humans with human ethnicities on earth since it goes a little further than skin tone and hair texture but I think the dog breeds is a good comparison

Tldr demons and humans can have kids that are fertile therefore lbh is a dog breed mix

[yellow-yarrow]

fallout 2 isnt even that good. i mean its so unnecessary edgy and horny

[fideidefenswhore]

anyways....when is boleyn, the musical coming out, again?

[knightsickness]

Such a weird percentage of the fandom buys into the Kingsguard celibacy as like. A thing that a character should adhere and is good and pure if they do. like I thought we were all joking about that

genuinely so funny .. this gwayne thing is the first time ive seen people extending male celibacy = moral uprightness and purity to ALL asoiaf knights not just the ones w vows of celibacy. people taking issue w the criston monologue is especially deranged bc the point of it is obviously him admitting for the first time that he considers his own misery and his relationships w woman his fault and his weakness for breaking his vows (not the fault of demon serpent seductress rhaenyra) and gwayne says ‘then resist it’ bc hes there to provide obvious lines for criston to refute and continue his monologue off of bc hes cristons satellite character to give him someone to talk to while away from major characters. but like yeah genuinely who gaf literally all kingsguard for forever are breaking their vows and it doesnt matter at all do you guys actually think the point of the kg and the nw in the story is to espouse that having no sex or relationships is the best thing you can do. in the love is the death of duty series. people thinking cristons lying or deluded when he says all the other kg also break their vows of celibacy are coping on a level never seen before. unironic asoiaf fan veneration of volcelism studiable

[absolutehomosexuals]

Whenever people claim "[origin characters] show attraction to all genders", they often point to Astarion's party banter.

Which leaves us pretty confused because, if anything, it shows he has no clue what he's doing with women.

He's known to be this skilled seducer – the fantasy equivalent of a prostitute and, canonically, his pimp's favourite – yet his advances towards female companions come off as clumsy.

We've always chalked it up to him being a snarky little shit, with a touch of stereotypical gay man attitude¹, but the implications of it being genuine are terrifying.

As far as we know, Astarion gathered prey for at least two centuries, and he only ever talks about his male victims: Sebastian and the so-called darling boy were his only sincere relationships. 

If you romance him, he justifies his initial manipulation by saying he only ever seduces people he's genuinely attracted to.

Couple that with the fact we never hear about any women, can it really be a coincidence on his writer’s part?

All we’re saying is, he probably didn't pick up his victims by calling them "a pretty flower", which unironically sounds like someone's first attempt at flirting in a lifetime.

We're even more appalled when people claim he flirted with Lae'zel (who he briefly teased and later implied he wasn't actually interested in, when she asked him why he hasn't tried to "bed" her yet) or Karlach (he seems to sympathize with her quite a bit due to their shared slavery trauma, offering to show her the Upper City when she implies she's never been – didn't come off as sexual at all, honestly).

If anything, his comments towards Wyll sound way more sexually-charged, going as far as to say he was the man Astarion dreamed to marry when he was younger.

And we know Wyll is the furthest thing from his current type, given his approval options.

A history of successfully, and famously, hitting on men coupled with overly-friendly, borderline exuberant interactions with women... wonder what subculture that reminds us of!

Hint: it's gay male subculture.

We also tend to forget Astarion's perception  of his own sexuality is extremely screwed, because centuries of repeated sexual abuse will do that to you.

He's canonically riding that post-escape wave of mania and engaging in sexually risky behaviour (e.g the foursome with the drow twins at Sharess' Caress) + putting on an "open minded, experienced lover" façade (e.g justifying the MC upon being cheated on with Mizora and allowing them to sleep with Halsin to make up for the lack of sex in their relationship).

To put it gracefully: he fucks his way in and out of situations, exchanging sex with favours/protection is second nature to him at this point.

He's forcefully trying to reclaim his sexuality, biting off more than he can chew and re-traumatizing himself in the attempt: what's a little flirting with women to make sure his new allies are on his good side, after all? He surely can't be violated more than he already has been.

What's the damage in agreeing to sleep with a heart-broken Lae'zel at the tiefling party, at this point? It's the perfect manipulation, laid out for him on a silver plate. Also, we know from his confession scene that Astarion's first sexual proposal to Tav was indeed a form of manipulation: he admits that the initial reason why he pursued the player was to seek the protection of someone stronger and to make sure that the party won't kick him out. So, in the instance of Tav refusing him (the only option that triggers the scene between him and Lae'zel), it's only logical that he'd run in the arms of the next best thing, which in this case is Lae'zel, a great warrior that's eager to find a partner for the night.

And when she claims he performed flawlessly? That's the same thing the narrator tells you during the Sharess' Caress scene, only to reveal he's dissociated into oblivion.

Of course Larian didn't want to restrict players' options by locking certain romances, but we’re sorry to announce… he's still not beating the allegations.

¹ Being visibly gay = not being perceived as a threat by women, thus taking liberties such as sarcastic "flirting" towards female acquaintances.

Karlach refers to him as "fancy-boy" if she's in your party while recruiting him, so he is perceived that way in canon.

We can also see Gale being uncomfortable around him at first, especially when Astarion tries to strike up a conversation through party banter, for seemingly no reason – which seems like a pretty clear hint to us.

[viquipo]

No bc I'm so mad rn I usually post my rants on ig stories but I need the tumblrites to tell me if I'm crazy or what. Jwcc/ct spoilers WHATEVER

First of all I want to preface this by saying that this is just my opinion on the matter, I'm not saying your headcanons are "wrong" or whatever tf, it's a kids cartoon where they unironically use terms like "fam". You can play with the characters however you'd like.

That being said, this is why TO ME it does not makes sense for Ben to be anything other than gay. Again, if you think he's bi or straight or anything else that's cool. I'm also leaning towards the opinion that he does actually have a girlfriend. I don't think the shows gonna pull a 180 on it because, realistically, 2 queer characters is already a lot for a DreamWorks kids show. As much as I'd like it not to be.

But, since the beginning, Ben has been very clearly coded as exclusively into men to me. Before finally going into it, I remind everyone on here that I'm a lesbian. I have felt an affinity with his character specifically for the experience of only liking the same gender. I might be totally projecting.

Ok, so.

1. The arc Ben goes through during the show is yes, one of self discovery, but also one of self acceptance. He changes a lot from the start of s1, but he also comes to terms with stuff himself or other people didn't like about him. He doesn't throw the dork pouch away or tells Kenji to keep it, the first thing he does when he takes it back from Kenji is put on hand sanitizer. He is covered in dirt, he's not afraid of filth anymore, but he still does that action because it's part of who he is as a person. He also becomes very unashamed at the things he does. He went from being embarrassed of his carob bars to eating grubs in front of people who he knows think it's gross. He knows himself as he is and he accepts it. To me (and to lots of other people) this works very well as a gay metaphor, and pairs up pretty nicely with the whole "jungle boy? Jungle MAN" arc being a trans metaphor. But how does this make Ben uniquely into men?

Well, it doesn't. But I think this next one does.

2. Enter Yasmina. She's pretty, she's smart, athletic, funny, all that good stuff. I'm not saying that means every wlm character should automatically be into her, but it certainly helps. Now forgive me if I don't remember specific episodes/seasons, but we all remember that episode where Ben convinces himself that Yaz is in love with him for some reason. When he "rejects" her, he says : "I'm just now starting to find myself". That's cool, cause I'm pretty sure Ben's " finding himself " personality wise was over and done a couple of seasons ago. To me, that is a really good hint at him dealing with his gayness.

3. He's also the first person Yasmina talks to about her feelings for Sammy. Now, in this particular context, the options for Yaz to talk to were Darius, Brooklynn, or Ben. It would initially seem to make more sense for her to confide in Brooklynn, since the two of them are far closer than her and Ben, and it also wouldn't be the first time she brings up Sammy as a romantic interest for Yaz (see: everyone tweaking abt that one line back in like s2). So why does Yasmina, a very private and reserved person, choose Ben to talk to about her same sex crush? She has probably gathered from the previous conversation that Ben relates to her struggle in a unique way in which Brooklynn just can't. Ben seems very receptive of what Yaz is saying ("feelings, am I right?") and it seems like he REALLY gets where she's coming from.

4. This is one I don't see talked about a lot, and maybe it's just cause I'm too out of the loop with the fandom, but I want to examine it as well. It's when Ben decides to not actually stay on the island. Everyone (except Sammy) already knew he wasn't going to stay in the end, but still didn't force him out. I think this is especially clear in a line Darius says when they reunite on the boat that goes something like "you needed to figure it out on your own" *smile hand on shoulder combo*. No explanation needed I think

I am diagnosed with autism did you guys know what

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

REWATCHING GO S1, LIVE PLAY-BY-PLAY OF DOOMSDAY WAHOO

HELLO MAGGOTS REWATCHING SEASON 1 BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME WAS A KIDNAPPING CHAOTIC MESS. EPISODE ONE HERE GOES. I DON'T REMEMBER A LOT OF DETAILS BUT YES.

Opening scene and Earth's got vibe-checked by God and I've been gaslit about the dinosaurs

GARDEN OF EDEEEEEN wow his first appearance and Aziraphale's already so prissy and flustered might fuck around and fall in love with him idk

I finally understand who these mf's are hi Hastur and Ligur you're not zombies after all

FOR FUCK'S SAKE SECOND SCENE CROWLEY'S BEEN IN AND SHE WALKED IN, SERVED HIPS HAIR AND CUNT, AND THEN MANAGED TO TALK HER AWAY INTO A PROBLEM

LIKE GENUINELY SHE COMES AND SASHAYS WITH HER HAIR AND SAYS TIMES ARE CHANGING AND HEAD OFFICE LOVES ME AND JUST INSTANTLY HASTUR AND LIGUR USE HER WORDS AGAINST HER

idk sister mary loquacious is kinda doing it for me rn with that satanic nun's habit and losergirl energy

third crowley scene and he's misplaced THE LITERALLY GODDAMNED ANTICHRIST because he made small talk with a bloke outside without checking for details

mmmmhm yes sister mary wink again your bitchless decisions are sexy y'know what i mean

Gabriel feels like his brain was eviscerated and replaced with one of those youtuber's paid course promos at the end of their how to change your life in 45 days: three simple mindset shifts video

so THIS IS WHY EVERYONE KEEPS SAYING PAVLOVIAN IN THIS FANDOM IT'S BECAUSE OF DUCKS of course it's because of ducks

mmmhm yes sure crepes French revolu--Crowley stop eye-fucking Aziraphale you're making everyone at the Ritz horny

Aziraphale don't moan into your food man you can't take these two anywhere

Crowley thanking the driver for slowing down is everything to me

And they're drunk hu-fucking-zzah good thing we'll have 11 year olds saving the world coz these fuckers sure ain't doing shit

OH MY GOD HE WAS TRYING TO SAY BOUILLABAISSE I JUST REALISED. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST MAKING KISSY FACES AT AZIRAPHALE I'M NOT OK-

What Aziraphale was doing back was definitely kissy faces though that mfer wasn't even trying to say bouillabaisse when Crowley said what sounded suspiciously like baby

kissy kissy from lil miss prissy [i would have made such a great high school bully shame i had no inclinations that way]

SORRY WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK WAS THAT SOBERING UP EXCUSE ME THE FANFICS MADE IT SOUND LIKE IT WAS A CLICK AND THEY'RE SUDDENLY NORMAL WHY IS THE ALCOHOL REFILLING

oop nun down nun down

i want ya see a wile ya thwart amirite on a t-shirt

"actually i encourage humans to-" just say you're a lazy bitch azi we love you

love crowley fake-manipulating azi into helping like azi wants to be manipulated y'know so it's not technically his fault he was wiled over or whatever and they're both just such ENABLERS

not azi going SOFT at being godfathers with crowley

NOT BROTHER FRANCIS PLEASE NO FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED AZI WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS PLEASE

WARLOCKKKKK I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HNNNG MICHAEL SHEEN HAD TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS

why is nanny ashtoreth so seductive with that of course dear is it just crowley's inherent disastergirl sex appeal

HALF PONYTAIL CROWLEY I AM A FUCKING SLUT FOR HALF PONYTAIL

GASLIGHTING HEAVEN AND HELL THAT'S MY BABYGIRLS

erIC THE DISPOSABLE DEMON I DIDN'T KNOW THEY COME IN S1 well not come i hope unless being eaten by a hellho--nope

ANGEL CROWLEY SAID ANGEL ANGEL ANGEL

CROWLEY TRYING TO BE SUBTLE ABOUT KILLING BEFORE GETTING ANNOYED

waiter crOWLEY OUTFIT I CANNOT BE NORMAL AFTER THE WEDDING DRESS DESIGNING ABOUT THIS COSTUME

FOOLS WRONG BOY YOU FOOLS IM DEAD

DOG IS UNIRONICALLY SO CUTE EVEN BEFORE IT GOES SMOL

gonna give my roxie a kissy brb she's my angel and all this dog talk makes me miss her (she's a few feet away under the bed)

i asked her for a kissy and she crawled out and gave me a kiss i love her

DOGGGGG ADAMMM

...roxie's crying to be taken downstairs it's nearly 2 am this is on me for waking her up i crowley'd myself fml

EYYYYY WELCOME TO THE END TIMES don't mind me I'll have to take roxie down yes I know maggots I'm crowley-coded I KNOW THAT I'M A BLOODY DISASTER BYEEEEEEEE

[gettinontopic]

Image ID: Image that has been dunked in an under water filter. Paragraph one says: Anti-transition is not a fundamental terf position, it does not define it, many terfs are in fact pro-transition. What you're pointing out is a generic anti-trans stance, not what terfism fundamentally is.

Paragraph two says: Transmasc TERFism (and other terfisms) for example, does not oppose transition at all and does not seek to force trans people to identify with their assigned sex. You're either dishonest or very ignorant about this subject, which isn't surprising from a tme.

Paragraph three says: Terfism involves creating/maintaining or reinforcing a power imbalance between cis women, transmascs, tme enbies (TMEs) and TMAs, where TMAs are the subordinate class and TMEs the dominant group, something in which TMEs are highly invested, even within trans spaces. Its is tagged with #transandrodork. Image ID End]

...

Anti-transition is a very common defining things t-rfs believe um what?

I was attacked before I was trans for being a gnc women who wanted top sugary. They wanted me to be a tit keeping cis person with she/her pronouns so fucking bad.

T-rfs who are pro surgery get more backlash than most other terfs from what I can tell bc T-rfs "believe in biology" and transitioning even as a cis person is against that shit

T-rfs are obsessed with the ideology of forcing somone to identify with their birth sex. It's seeped into nearly every argument they make. They're constantly telling us what parts they assume we have and how we are baed on those parts. That's forcing aomeone to identify with their birth sex!

T-rfs want me detraisitoned and if I don't they've told me to I'll myself enough time to know they want dead as an alternative. Those are my options: Gender traiter (even when I was cis!) or dead.

The term is

Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist

I am trans

Therfore they exclude me and anyone who come across as me.

.

Not to mention t-rfs ideology first and formost is to uphold the genders and roles of white supremacy above all else and that's why a majory of them are white

.

Edit: I saw this persons blog after. She has only rbs starting at Feb18 and has a very high chance of being a t-rfs herself attempting to sow seeds between us and transfems.

I unfortunately am seeing people unironically agree so this post stays up to fight misinformation.

But if you find the user attached to this post block and move away, she will not engage in good faith, only using peoples need to be reactionary to coax in fighting.

Stay away and stay safe, and know that t-rfs will never win!

[idialover]

!!NSFW!!!

My friends and I have a tradition of playing "does this character have sex" whenever we get into a new piece of media, because we always enjoy everything together, and today we spent a few hours discussing TWST charactrs. They found out that I now have a Tumblr blog and told me I should "post our very scientific findings for the interwebs" (Note that we are all between the ages of 16-17, so in the same age group as the characters)

Heartslabyul (general judgement): The virgin one

Riddle: no, and he somehow doesn't even know what sex is. You'd think he'd know with how much he studies about everything you learn in school, so even sex-ed but no, he doesn't know

Ace: gray area, no bitches respectfully, except maybe Deuce, but we couldn't agree on that, he would treat it as "it's just a prank bro, no homo"

Deuce: yeah, sure, I mean he's pretty okay looking, not often tho

Cater: he seems like he'd be a dicord kitten or an insta-thot, he tries but doesn't really succeed, maybe once or twice.

Trey: no, because he actually wears a fedora, unironically. "he's as bland as the flour he uses in his cakes"-my friend#2

Savanaclaw (general judgement): Gahdayumm!!

Leona: YES! absoulutley 100% just look at him, but he'd be one of those lazy tops, is very casual about it, there isn't a lot to say because it's just so obvious that he is 100% a sex haver

Ruggie: Hard to say, he has an Italian souding name so maybe no, he hasn't yet discovered that he can earn quite a lot of money that way, or maybe he has (we couldn't agree on this)

Jack: gay wolf boyfirend fantasy so yes, big buff man go brrrr

Octavinelle (general judgement): ehhhh, fish go brrr

Azul: this was a very hard one to decide but in the end no, no real reason just doesn't seem like he would have it, he's on that alpha buisness grindset

Jade: Yes becazse friend#1 said so (she's a strong Jade stan) and everyone decided to let her have this one, but everybody else generally thinks he is Asexual (friend#1 is also ace)

Floyd: yes, he is bisexual in wicked and scheming ways and everybody is aware of that. Chaos bi, him and Jade are two side of a coin, all or nothing. He flirts by messing with people, mostly Riddle but as I've already said Riddle has no idea what's going on and just thinks Floyd has it out for him

Scarabia (general judgement): This was the hardest one to discuss

Kalim: He is very lovable, but no, for unknown reasons, boy has 0 rizz

Jamil: yeah, ig, normal 17 year old guy, he isn't basic like Trey, but he just doesn't have time because of Kalim

Pomefiore (general judgement): slayyy!

Vil: Yes, and his standards are surprisingly not as high as you'd think, we got very heated about how people often mischaracterize him as a very vain but he just wants people to be themselves and best version of themselves. Good for cardio

Rook: yes, in freaky kinky ways (see Rook alchemy card) he sometimes has touble finding people who are into the same stuff as him

Epel: no, beacause he is an "alpha male" in the worst ways possible

Ignihyde (General judgement): you'd think they be reddit mods, but they actually tumblr sexymen

Idia: yes, he has that disheveled rizz, the more they look like they haven't left the house since 2015 the better. We stan broken men in this household(blog), only on halloween tho that's when his confidence get's a bit better and he becomes and active member of society

Ortho: he is a robot based on a young child! NO!

Diasomnia (General judgement): oooh spooky~~

Malleus: yeah sure

Silver: gray are (they demanded I make that pun, pls forgive me)

Lillia: He is the most slay character, an old vampire/fae obviously yes. He has a lot of experience, best sex haver he's so amazing, Lillia for the win

Sebek: no

Staff (general judgement): a very mixed bag

Crowley: someone somwhere slept with him, he is kinda usless but he gets laid, look at his vacation outfit

Crewel: Definetly, high standards but he is correct, he gets to have high standards, he is the perfect man, not a DILF but also not not one

Trein: yes, loyal to his wife (rip tho), good husband 10/10 would trust him, good man

Vargas: Yeah, he's a typical good looking guy, he has never had a long term relationship but he doesn't want one

Sam: We debated for a long time and decided that yes he does have sex

[u2fangirlie-blog]

Good Omens Crowley and Aziraphale Reunited Playlist

In anticipation of Good Omens Season 3, here’s the “Crowley and Aziraphale Reunited and It Feels So Good Playlist.” We know our favorite demon and angel will be reunited. Take heart, have faith, and keep hope. Crowley and Aziraphale will be together again, like chocolate and peanut butter. This is music Maggie and Nina would put together in a playlist for a party celebrating the Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship. The songs are about friendship and love.

How ever you as a fan define the love they share – eros, philia, or agape - we know Crowley and Aziraphale love each other. In the Good Omens universe, angels and demons are sexless and genderless. However, they can have genders and sex body parts if they want to. They can be sexual, asexual, binary, nonbinary, romantic, aromantic, hetero, homo, bi, pan. They can be any expression of the spectrum of identities and orientations. Above all else, they can love each other.

Maggie, Nina, Aziraphale, and Crowley are going to sing a karaoke version of “That’s What Friends Are For” at the party.

Please enjoy this unashamedly, unapologetically romantic, silly, sentimental, and sugary playlist (with extra cheesy goodness).

See note after list on song the selection process.

Songs include:

“You’re My Best Friend” – Queen

“Let’s Stay Together” – Al Green

“For Once in My Life” – Stevie Wonder

“Reunited” – Peaches and Herb

“Love and Happiness” – Al Green

“Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” – Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

“That’s What Friends Are For” – Dionne Warwick, Elton John, Gladys Knight, and Stevie Wonder

“I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)” – Aretha Franklin and George Michael

“Can’t Fight this Feeling” – REO Speedwagon

“Time After Time” – Cyndi Lauper

“I’ll Be There” – Mariah Carey and Trey Lorenz version

“I’ll Stand by You” – The Pretenders

“I Say a Little Prayer” – Aretha Franklin

“I Honestly Love You” – Olivia Newton John

“God Only Knows” – The Beach Boys

“Don’t Let Me Down” – The Beatles

“Just the Two of Us” – Grover Washington, Jr., ft. Bill Withers

“Just the Way You Are” – Billy Joel

“Your Song” – Elton John

“How Deep is Your Love” – The Bee Gees

“The Air that I Breathe” – K.D. Lang version

“Time in a Bottle” – Jim Croce

“Up Where We Belong” – Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes

“Islands in the Stream” – Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers

“Endless Love” – Diana Ross and Lionel Richie

“Almost Paradise” – Mike Reno and Ann Wilson

“Leather and Lace” – Stevie Nicks and Don Henley

“Feels Like Home” – Bonnie Raitt

“In Your Eyes” – Peter Gabriel

“I Want to Know What Love Is” – Foreigner

“Never Tear Us Apart” – INXS

“Eternal Flame” – The Bangles

“Heaven is a Place on Earth” – Belinda Carlisle

“Walking on Sunshine” – Katrina and The Waves

“Never Gonna Give You Up” – Rick Astley

“Everlasting Love” – U2 version

“[I Can’t Help] Falling in Love with You” – UB40 version

“Let’s Get It On” – Marvin Gaye

P.S.: Aziraphale secretly loves romantic duets and rock ballads. He wouldn’t admit it because his personality is classical music. However, he longs to sing karaoke duets with Crowley. “Reunited,” “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” “I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me),” “I’ll Be There,” “Don’t Let Me Down,” “Up Where We Belong,” “Islands in the Stream,” “Endless Love,” “Almost Paradise,” and “Leather and Lace.”

P.P.S.: “Never Gonna Give You Up.” Crowley unironically loves this song, but he invented “Rickrolling,” so Rick Astley would get paid more in song royalties. Who’s laughing now?

P.P.P.S.: “Let’s Get It On.” Crowley has experienced all the infinite varieties of human, demonic, angelic, and supernatural being sexuality and intimacy. Like various “sins” thought up by humans (without demonic influence), he has taken credit for inventing some of the more fun, creative intimate activities. He consulted on the artwork in the Kama Sutra. Crowley secretly wants to snuggle under the blankets with Aziraphale on cold rainy days, but he would never admit it because it would ruin his reputation.

Note on song selection:

Yes, the playlist is exclusively classic pop and rock songs. I’m a Gen Xer. David Tennant and Michael Sheen are Gen Xers. Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett are Boomers. This is the music I grew up listening to. These songs make me feel good. They don’t write songs like this anymore. I’m a cool college English teacher. My job is to corrupt the youth of the nation. Ms. Myers is going to expose you to culture. I’m a cool spinster aunt. Auntie Amy is gonna learn you about oldies music. I selected songs that thematically fit with the relationship between Aziraphale and Crowley. Listen to the lyrics. They fit. The list flows. You may not like my choices, so your mileage may vary. You can make your own playlist.

You can listen to it on YouTube.

[slaygentford]

If you could pick any early 2000s romcom star to reinvent in new good true detective, who would it be. And why

good evening and thank you for this inquiry. and for honing in on this inquiry and for jumpscaring me with this inquiry. and because I'm brave let's go ahead and say it. let's go ahead and say that I've been known to watch clips on YouTube dot com these last few days. let's go ahead and look at the women who were in 2000s rom coms with the true detective himself.

Jennifer Lopez: new good true detective in 2010s nyc. butch lesbian detective acosta agrees to go undercover at the spearmint rhino gentleman's club to investigate the disappearances of a series of Wall Street interns, only to discover a deeper web of missing women that the club is covering up... something of a miss congeniality moment, side of hustlers, which she nailed. a lesbian bc it'd be hot.

Kate Hudson: new good true detective in 1970s los angeles. mrs Charles, the wife of a late PI and a failed actress, wades grief stricken through his files after his death in a shooting to try to understand what led to his murder. she teams up with his old partner from the lapd when she discovers a bizarre symbol reappearing in each of her husband's cases... ends with mrs Charles saving a bunch of girls from the yellow king cult, stomping cultist's head in with her platform heels. they have daisies on them. lots of opportunities to say wow she looks so much like Goldie Hawn here

Sarah Jessica Parker: genuinely the person who I think would be the most successful in a new good true detective. thinking of her good acting when mr big died from a peloton in the new bad sex and the city unironically. it's tempting to just do carrie Bradshaw but we have to reach beyond that and challenge ourselves. maybe detective Laura crown in 2020s nyc is aging out of her role at the nypd, being slowly edged out by younger men jockeying for her position... but a drug raid leads to the discovery of a human trafficking ring that traces all the way back into history... AND INTO DETECTIVE ACOSTA'S 2010S UNSOLVED MISSING STRIPPERS.

Jennifer garner: the stripper that detective acosta falls in love with

[ryuichirou]

 Replies

A lot of replies today! About recent drawings/posts and about some other stuff as well.

Anonymous asked:

You should check your inbox for nebulacollege, I sent a gift 😘

Sorry for the late reply, Anon! As Katsu already said, we didn’t really have an opportunity to reply properly before, but we saw your gift right away. It’s so wonderful, and we are so grateful!!

Nebula technically had its first birthday recently, so your timing is kind of perfect. It’s insane to think that not so long ago I struggled to come up with a way to draw Edmund that would fit the vibe Katsu is going for, and now we’re seeing your amazing fanart of him. It looks so good, both the idea and the drawing itself.

Thank you so much, once again.

unofficialwheatdog asked:

I had this dream this morning that you and Kat joined the Trolls and the Bee Movie fandom, so there was art of a bee and a human getting it on and trolls

I woke up in a cold sweat if you couldn't tell btw

Honestly I would say that this is a hilarious dream and that you shouldn’t worry about it, but it sounds like something we would 100% do. I am now kind of terrified that we’ll watch the Bee Movie and start shipping a bee and a human but unironically.

But I shouldn’t be worried either, I don’t see that happening anytime soon. We did however rewatch some episodes of Angry Beavers and are currently kind of into Norbert/Daggett ……………..

Anyways! Thank you for dreaming about it?? 😭💕

Anonymous asked:

THANK YOU FOR THE TREYVIL! Oh gosh that was so good! Vil's look towards Trey~ very lovely! Proud of  "Normal Guy™" Trey managing to get a Supermodel like Vil. 💚

HEHE YOU’RE WELCOME! I’m glad you like it, thank you!

I’ll be honest, I didn’t fully get Trey’s popularity at first, but for some reason I kind of get it now. The juxtaposition of the "Normal Guy™" and gorgeous supermodel Vil who isn’t desperate, but still openly flirty with him, it’s kind of…. Very nice.

Anonymous asked:

That look Vil gave…..GOD. Probably best not to say what’s going through my head.

It’s okay, Anon, I feel you…. wink

I’m glad I managed to draw it in a way that makes you ~feel~ things hehe.

Anonymous asked:

Hey vil, what else can those beautiful legs do? What time do they open? 🥵🥵

I think Vil can easily do an entire clock hands rotation with his legs… Vil being stupidly flexible is my agenda and I will keep repeating it. He is going to put his legs behind his head if he needs to.

thestarlightfae asked:

Wait, now I want to try that. Not in a sexual way (aroace), but in an am-I-flexible-enough way.

I believe in you! I know you can do it! <3

Anonymous asked:

What kind of porn would Rollo, Fellow and Gidel watch?

(related to this post), maybe I’ll edit the post and add those there…

Rollo doesn’t watch porn, come on now. The only type of smut he experiences is the kind that his own mind plays in his head when he sleeps. And Rollo really wishes he could turn it off! But he can’t, so for now he’s just having weird wet dreams about faceless men in red cloaks judging him….

Fellow doesn’t really care about porn all that much because his life is already so full of sex, but he doesn’t necessarily have access to a lot of porn either. He used to flip through magazines with some hunks on them, but hasn’t done it in quite a while.

Gidel, however, loves his dirty magazines! I’ve said it in some other hc post: a magazine with beast-ladies in tiny bikinies is an ultimate gift for him. He steals those from shops, he takes the ones that are randomly abandoned at gas stations. Whenever they are lucky enough to stay at a motel with a tv, the first thing Gidel does is turning on the TV to see if there are porn channels available for free. He doesn’t even do anything while watching it, he’s just fascinated by smut. I guess it’s a phase… or is it?

Anonymous asked:

IS Idia a masochist?

He IS…. And he isn’t. I guess to a degree.

Idia feels like someone who would be genuinely uncomfortable and even whiny when it comes to physical pain and discomfort, but at the same time… there are some kinds of pain and discomfort that he would find weirdly pleasing and tickling. Starting with something not so drastic, like hair pulling and butt smacking. I think he has potential to blossom as a gorgeous masochist. I think he is highly trainable. 🤔

He also strikes me as someone who craves for a punishment somewhere deep down, so it’s also a big factor.

Anonymous asked:

Lilia making Silver watch porn with him is super hot actually?? Especially when Silver is so shy about it and doesn't really enjoy watching it that much, still being pressured to keep watching with him omg

(related to this post)

Hehehe thank you Anon!! I thought so too, as you can see lol

Silver doesn’t feel awkward all that often, especially with Lilia, but that time really felt weird… a good kind of weird. 😳

Anonymous asked:

I regret to inform you, it's highly likely that antis are that dumb.

Saw a hot take that was "it's wrong to sexualize the TWST minors even if you're their age!!!"

Oh no, puberty makes some high schoolers horny, who'd have thought.  A 17 y.o. not being the same as a 7 y.o. is a novel thought to them; they'd have never lasted in my hs.

And a non anti one, but evidence that some people aren't too bright: the amount of people saying Ace is an irredeemable monster, a sociopath who wouldn't care if You died, a fuckboy who'll never have a serious relationship, ect. because he's slightly mean and committed the unforgivable crime of ghosting his ex-gf in middle school.

And the amount of people wishing harm or death on proshippers just for that, I have to believe, for my own piece of mind, that they're not fully aware of what they're saying cause otherwise it's a scary thought.

(related to this post)

Yeah, unfortunately that’s not surprising. When people do nothing but try to find ways to police other people’s enjoyment of certain characters + marinate in these ideas all the time, their takes become almost alarming. They’re obsessed with numbers (fictional that have zero relevance to real life) and the idea of purity, it always boils down to sex = bad. And “sex = bad” is a very useful thing to both gatekeep characters (“you can’t sexualize them, I can”) and trying to assert authority on a group of people that has nothing to do with you.

The Ace take is hilarious. Imaging judging someone for ghosting a person when they were like 14-15, especially when it’s just one fictional guy. I also find it funny that technically one could read it as “Ace realised that he is not into girls and dipped; it’s not right for him to hurt her feelings, and this reaction from Ace is pretty normal for a guy who is figuring shit out”. But instead of this or any other kind of more nuanced reading they went with “Ace is a monster”. Ace is a teenager, and a well-written one at that, it just happens that the majority of teenagers are either nasty fuckers or socially awkward maximalists, or both.

Anonymous asked:

Ace’s method of flirting reminds me of the song Nice Guys by nigahiga

(referring to this post)

«And if you ever get cold, you'll just have to hack it, 'Cause I'd be cold too if I gave you my jacket» is the most Ace Trappola line in the world….

Anonymous asked:

I thought this was funny but idk if you'll think so.  Just this week I started a side blog for venting/discourse because I loved writing essays in school and I gotta put my English degree to use somehow right.  I only have two posts, one of which is about TWST antis. 

I already got some anonymous troll telling me I'm a loser and they hope I know it.

I have made it y'all!!  My sideblog's so young but I've already got the discourse blog badge of honor!! (Also the submission is a few days old and I only noticed now whoops I feel kinda bad for them.  Definitely didn't react the way they were hoping I would)

lol congrats Anon!! It really is like a badge of honour and a seal of quality at the same time. I’m pretty sure you’ll get more of those as you continue posting, so please take care of yourself and block annoying people, including Anons!

I’m glad you’re enjoying your new side blog though. Writing essays is fun, especially when it’s about something that you care about because, well, you’re a part of the situation…

Anonymous asked:

🐩 anon back with news that they made the terrible mistake of giving me TWO character slots because they wanted a bit more flavour to our current cast before we continue in another two weeks.

I came to offer you an unholy Deacon with god complex. He is about to make Rollo disintegrate by just walking into the same room as him. He got some Sebastian and Malleus vibes all in one, it's terrible for everyone else really.

The fact I gotta draw the design is what gets me, because how does one do that justice? The smugness? The charm? I'm tempted to do a design influenced by Frankenstein in Noblesse and Sephiroth from Final Fantasy. Maybe some Undertaker because who doesn't like long haired men, yk?

This sounds awesome, Anon, I think this is the perfect type of character to throw at Rollo to make him deal with him lol Whatever you end up with, I’m sure it’ll look great! What you’ve listed sounds like a great ingredient list for a very fun character.

[r0-boat]

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON HER

OOhOooHhOh

Mother fucker you don't even know I'm using this post to put my head cannons under.

@smallestapplin and I Have been talking about her she invaded our brains for months

Rika sfw/ NSFW headcannons

Cw: ddlg, exhibitionism, overstimulation

She can never keep a new phone. It's always cracked damaged or broken in some way.

Her phone is just full of photos of her Clodsire and you. Good Lord she's like a grandma for how many photos she takes.

Suave sexy and she knows it. She'll get really close, play with your hair give you small and soft touches because she likes to tease. And play dumb when you tell her to stop because you know what she's trying to do.

Is competitive, likes to pick fights(playfully)and is a sore loser when she loses. Her and Grusha are competitive/sore loser besties. if they compete against each other you know you should grab the popcorn.

It's really hard to tell what she's feeling or thinking. A lot of people think she's intimidating. She's actually pretty chill.

I think she gets more expressive the more close you are with her. Becoming a little more outgoing when you bring it out of her.

It's in sweeps you off your feet just to see you flustered. Oh she lives to see we are cute red face and you trying to cover it with your hands not looking her in the eyes.

Oh if you are shy she will eat you up. She'll get really close and Whisper " Is it okay if I kiss you?

She actually prefers being called masculine titles In bed. Master, sir, Boss And her biggest one Daddy.

She likes being called daddy unironically, nothing. gets her off more than her little princess looking up back up at her with your cute watering eyes. As she stretches you out with her strap.

She is a hard Dom, no switch. She would rather fuck you or ride you.

You may think that she's the more dominant one in the relationship, and yes, she is don't tell me you can't look at that face and oppose her.( And live to Tell the tale) but If you give her the right puppy eyes she'll fold and give you anything. She's loaded from being an elite four member, and she's ready to spoil.

Has 1000 photos of you from your cute smile to cursed photos you've sent to her at 3 AM. And Many photos she took herself After You came on her cock so many times.

She's got Grusha Beat when it comes to cool, calm, collected. If you tease her or be a general brat in public She'll just give you a smile, but she won't forget. You'll think she's already forgotten until she slams you against the wall of a semi public space. Bad behavior will never go unpunished.

Rika fucks. She's extremely experienced. With lots of toys. She doesn't have to have a cock of her own to pleasure you. Though she wishes she does, not because she doesn't feel comfortable in her own skin, she does. She just wants to feel your tight walls gripping around her, She wants to feel you come on her cock. To feel how wet,warm, and tight she makes you. Is that too much to ask?

she's extremely serious about Consent. 1st night of having sex with her. She has a full consent talk with you. She takes any relationship seriously, and when she's with As soon she's going to be with them for a long time. She discusses your kinks and hers And she discusses how each one makes you feel advice versa.

Daddy kink/ddlg is a huge one for her and other power dynamics, but she likes the more caretaker part of this one. She is quite protective However She could never force her kink upon you. No matter how much she would love to come back to you warming her bed.

She wraps her tie around your neck you want to call her Miss but she stops you putting a glove thumb on your bottom lip. " I know what you're going to call me... but that's not who i am..." she tightens the tie around your neck. " now be good and try again, Say 'yes Daddy.'"

Exhibitionism. You may think it's just fucking Semi public but oh it goes harder than that. How hard? ;^)

Praise kink Giving and receiving. She will shower you in phrases While she bottoms out. And if you cry and yell how big her cock is and how good she's making you feel. This will go straight to her ego and pussy.

Power dynamics(role play) Like I said before, she enjoys having power over you

Overstimulation. She likes giving you what you want. Sometimes, she likes giving you too much of what you want. She'll act so innocent to what she's doing. While she plunges her fingers knuckles deep. Or stroke you hard-and-fast until You can't cum anymore Drinking up and enjoying every reaction on your face.

I could see Rika being into bondage. Enjoying watching you squirm in your bindings. She absolutely loves having power over you

And after she squeezed every last orgasm with her strap just smile give you a kiss on the forehead but then say " you did so well but we're not done yet. She takes off her harness her hands playing with her clit her pussy dripping. " I still have to cum too..."

[verdemoun]

did the gang find out about macsummers in modern or canon times?

i have given up on answering asks in order i answer asks in order of the giggles they give me

the girlies of the gang all knew in canon era. karen, mary-beth, jenny, and tilly were all actively shipping them and directly responsible for sean realizing lenny was actually flirting with him. god knows if sean would have ever connected the dots in either era without them (to be fair lenny was flirting in that 19th century 'could be murdered in the street if he was outed' and spending adolescence in reform school did not help sean in learning how to understand subtext and contextual clues)

also please imagine lenny 19th century educated man flirting. thinking he's so smooth laying it on maybe a little too thick teaching sean to read starting with the happy prince, sean mentions it offhandedly to mary-beth who proceeds to choke on her coffee because She Knows

lenny and sean being together was such a core part of the quartet's dynamic that when lenny found jenny in modern era and said 'and sean's here too' jenny let out a sigh of relief because she was not putting up with lenny's lenny-ness on her own before going 'no oops that sounded fucked i'm super sad he died but also yay sean's here'

hosea is just side-eyeing them suspiciously for a few weeks because "HMM they seem awful co-dependent in a way i had not noticed in canon era. maybe it's trauma bonding? maybe they're clinging to their friendship more than they did in canon era to cope with oh god damn us all they're fucking aren't they"

bessie just tilts her head slightly in confusion "darling i know you were slightly distracted at the time but did you not see the way they embraced when they saw each other? i am almost certain this is not a new occurrence"

also shoutout to bessie who despite being a 50+ year old history lecturer who no one would expect to be in the know she very politely sat the boys (and her husband) down powerpoint presentation style to explain modern era queer lexicon like for the love of all that is holy please do not use the terms sodomite or pederast they have CHANGED MEANING (the term homosexuality wasn't considered popularized in america until 1906 like she would have had to explain... so much)

arthur was very confused because look he's a little behind the 8 ball at times and just assumed karen and sean + lenny and jenny would become things, moreso than actually taking issue with anyone's sexuality. they obviously all suffer from heteronormativity

and of course how much identities and terminology changed from 1999 to 2011 (when most of the gang got there) lenny spent a good two years unironically identifying as moronsexual

sean's dyslexic ass having to learn the acronyms he thought BLTs were gay sandwiches for weeks pray for him (he still calls them gay sandwiches in private and they are a staple of the macsummers household)

it took so long to get used to gay meaning queer instead of happy. still slip up and say they're feeling gay when someone asks how they're going then backpedaling wait no well yes but you didn't need to know that i Was in a great mood

most of the gang didn't really react - they ALL knew about hosea and dutch 'reading' in canon era so if it was going to be an issue it would have come up then. just 'oh cool good for you guys what the hell is with miniature moving picture box in the house are we rich'

bill was the only one who even questioned it? looking at all these same-sex couples discreetly wondering aloud if in the future it was the norm ('without' a hint of optimism in his voice) because i, the author, accidentally made them all very not cishet

maeve at the tender age of 4 looked this bear of a man in the eyes and called him a faggot (she picked it up from the gang using it affectionately)

bill had no idea what that meant but he did know it was something at his expense

[kingdaddydaichi]

Dadchi Sawamura Headcanons

dilf!daichi sawamura x reader (fem) || n/sfw. mdni. shotgun (mention). pregnancy sex. sfw at first then the list devolves into naughtiness 😈

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” - theodore hesburgh

Daichi Sawamura swears by this sentiment.

His children (in birth order): Daddy’s Girl #1, Daddy’s Girl #2, Mama’s Boy. 

Tells people the kids got his good looks because you still have yours. Aww. 

Poor Daichi laughs nervously every time he comes home to find that the girls have once again dressed their 3-year-old brother in a princess costume - complete with a tiara - and he’s got fake makeup all over his face and his son is just deadass standing there looking like Twisted Sister, I’m done. 💀

You’re the “just wait until your father gets home” mom. 

His kids are so well-behaved though? Very good manners. 

Unironic Dad of the Year candidate. 

He may be strict but he loves and is so proud of his kids. They’ll always have everything they need and a lot of what they want (though they’ll have to earn it as they get older). 

“Go the fuck to sleep!” - Daichi Sawamura at least one night a week until all of his kids are over the age of 10. 

OMFG DAD SNEEZES - so loud! If you’re minding your business quietly and he sneezes in the next room, you damn near jump out of your skin. “DAICHI! STOP SNEEZING SO LOUD!! YOU'RE SCARING THE CHILDREN!!” Daichi from the next room: ”GOOD!!” 

You love this man so much.

Volleyball Dad™️

When his kids act up, they know they’re in trouble because Daichi just stands there with his arms crossed over his chest, looking down at them with the most severe look in his eyes. It has the same effect it had on the team back at Karasuno.

His kids HATE driving lessons with him. Not only is he their protective father, he’s also a cop. Can you imagine? Poor things. 

Teaches all his kids how to change a tire, especially his girls. 

Domesticated af. Will clean, do laundry, cook, change the babies’ diapers, and mow the lawn. Cooking is one of those mundane things he looks forward to doing with you while you feed each other tastes of what you’re making.

Expects the children to ask, “may I please be excused?” before getting up from the dinner table. 

He doesn’t interfere with the inevitable sibling rivalries between his kids. If they’re fighting over something he’ll keep an eye on them, but wants to let them solve their own problems when possible. If it starts to get out of hand though, he’ll step in. 

Usually doesn’t have to do much more than gruffly say “alright, that’s enough…” and peace is restored.

His kids all love and respect their dad. 

He’s hard on them and pushes them to do their best. Has high expectations of them - work hard, stay out of trouble, make good grades, mind your curfew, obey your mother. 

Daichi is observant and highly intuitive, so he can read his kids exceptionally well. If they’re down about something or struggling somehow, he just knows. 

And he knows just the right thing to say or do to give them guidance. He may not be very good at helping them navigate their emotions, but he gives practical advice in such a warm, loving way. And I think they actually appreciate that more than if he just talked about their feelings with them because they already get that from you. He listens to them but is relatively quick to help them move toward a practical solution in a validating way. 

Daichi is so PROTECTIVE, ESPECIALLY OF HIS GIRLS.

Can we please take a moment to imagine and appreciate Daichi Sawamura with teenage daughters? 

I pity the fools who take his girls out on dates - whether it’s their 1st date or 21st date makes no difference. 

Need I remind you what he growled at Suga when Kiyoko held Suga’s hands (in the dub)? 

“Whatever you do to her, I’ll do to you.”

But when he said it to your daughter’s boyfriend, it was with a bone-crushing shake of the hand and a smile.

He’s the dad that sits on the front porch with a shotgun laying across his lap while he waits on his daughter to get home. The boy’s car pulls up 20 minutes before curfew. She walks up and chuckles at him and says “Oh, Daddy” while patting his head before going inside. 

But Daichi doesn’t budge. He just sits there and narrows his eyes at her date, staring him down to assert his dominance until the boy quickly pulls away.

His daughters’ boyfriends are soooo good to them, partly because they know they’ll end up naked in a ditch somewhere if they’re not lol. They’re so scared of Daichi. It’s cute. They always address him as “sir” and “Mr. Sawamura”. 

Cries, sobs even at both his daughters’ weddings. 

He legitimately ugly cried at his first daughter’s wedding when she turned to him before he handed her off to her soon-to-be-husband and said, “You’ll always be the first man I ever loved. You taught me how I should expect to be treated by a man. I won’t let you down, Daddy.” 

He’d been holding it together until that happened, then the levee broke and this grown ass police sergeant fucking LOST IT as she hugged him and kissed his cheek. (Like he did when Kiyoko brought back the team’s ‘tobe’ banner omg he was so cute 🥹😢)

Omg his girls? D A D D Y ‘ S G I R L S!! Even in adulthood they’ll throw their arms around his neck and kiss him on the cheek saying “I love you, Daddy!” when they come home to visit. Daichi always gets the biggest grin on his face when they do that. 

Yes, he’s protective of them but he doesn’t have to be. They learned from him what to expect from a gentleman and they won’t settle for anything less. And he’s so proud of them for that. He beams knowing that there’s a part of him that shines through his girls that won’t let them be treated as anything less than ladies. 

Dad Jokes™️ (I laugh so hard at dad jokes y’all ngl). But the kids groan when their father shamelessly laughs at his own jokes. 

Sexiest motherfucking dad bod ever. I have yet to hear even a single person disagree with me on this. It’s basically canon. But he’s so insecure about it? He needs you to occasionally wrap your arms around him from behind and grab his belly and tell him how much you love every last inch of his body because your man is still smokin’ hot.

His hairline might recede a little bit, but he’ll have a full head of hair for the rest of his life. 

During all 3 of your pregnancies, Daichi will 19388% buy you the things you crave. You want pickles and ice cream? He’ll cringe, but you can bet your sweet ass your husband will come home with a jar of pickles and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s with as much pride as a caveman who brought home fresh kill for his woman and unborn child. 

“Daichi,” you’ll whine, “I want a cheese and potato chip sandwich!” 

He’s already IN the kitchen putting mayo, mustard, and cheese on bread before piling on a handful of chips and bringing it to you. You’re carrying his child (quite beautifully he might add). The least he can do is feed your cravings (within reason…if you crave dirt, he won’t be giving that to you). 

He even tries a bite of your sandwich and is like “Hmm! That’s pretty good, actually!” 

“Right? It’s what the baby wants. Must be a Sawamura thing…”

Speaking of babies…

⚠️ NSFW AHEAD ⚠️

Daichi is upright and proper in public/around others but in the bedroom he turns into a beast. Making babies with him is so much fun?? 

You probably had all of them relatively young. ≥30-ish?

Maybe you have a fourth kid later in your 30s because you slipped up and forgot your birth control. If not, it’s because Daichi got the old snip-snip. 

He just loooooves to cum inside you. It just feels so intimate for him. If he has to pull out or wear a condom he’ll feel less emotionally connected to you. Being inside you raw makes him feel so close and in tune with you. 

Your husband’s breeding kink game is STRONG. Each of the 3 times you told him you were pregnant he got hard. He was happy, yes, but also hard. So you said, “Daichi! I’m pregnant!” And he smiled and looked at the various positive home tests, hugged you, kissed you, kissed you harder, rolling his tongue over yours. 

His hands were all over you - your belly, your hips, your thighs, your ass. His brow was furrowed, eyebrows drawn downward as he backed you up against the bathroom counter. “Daichiiii…” you giggled as he picked you up and sat you down on the surface. Standing between your legs, he pushed his fingers inside your shorts and found your clit, making you gasp his name. “That’s it. That’s my girl,” he breathed. “Say it again.” 

And you did…not that you could’ve helped it the way he was touching you, the way he was pushing his thick fingers inside you. One of your hands gripped his flexing wrist while the other sought to steady yourself on the granite, sighing. Next thing you knew, your knees were crooked over his arms and your butt was nearly hanging off the counter as he fucked his cum into you while telling you you’re gonna have ALL his babies.

His breeding kink goes further than just getting you pregnant. He loves seeing you pregnant. Trust that your sex life is going to blow up when you start showing. Knowing you’re full with life because of him, because he filled you up with his seed makes Daichi F E R A L.

So pregnancy sex is gonna be a big thing with him. 

Even in your third trimester, it happens often that Daichi comes home from work and latches onto your neck while his hands caress your belly. You giggle but he’s serious as he pushes against your bottom and you can feel him half hard already. “Daichi!” 

“Can’t help it, babe. Need you. Now,” he’ll growl. He’ll either bend you over the nearest surface and pull his cock out of his uniform to fuck you, or pick you up and carry you to bed before having his wicked way with you there. He gets so turned on, so into it that you’re crying out as he slams his hips against your ass while his blunt fingernails dig into your widened hips.

MORNING SEX !!

Morning quickies before the kids come knocking on your locked bedroom door. Daichi prefers to go slow and take his time, make you cum at least twice before he lets himself unload inside you. But, fuck, both of you are so horny for each other some mornings and after the kids are born, you know the kids will be waking up soon and knocking on your bedroom door. So neither of you waste any time. Whether he mounts you or you straddle him, whether Daichi makes love to you or fucks you raw makes no difference. Either way it is going to be INTENSE.

So there you have it. I hope you enjoyed the musings of my overactive imagination as it pertains to sexy Mr. Sawamura. What would you add? What would you take away? Let me know! I’m curious!

31 days of daichi mlist | main daichi mlist | haikyuu mlist

taglist: @chaoskrakenuwu @yuujispinkhair @luvkun4 @briokayama @mrs-sawamura @heroesfan101 @millenialfanfictionaddiction @lanaxians-2 @darthferbert @hannas16 @a-girl-cant-decide-on-a-name @cookiesandmilksx @strawberrystepmom @maexc @little-ms-awkward @samkysnks @anejuuuuoy @productivity-blogs @patheticliesblog @cheesechopchive ++ get added

[casey-complains]

I’m sure anything I say here has been said to death but GOD

Something about being a former superfan makes this fire of anger burn brighter in me

Sooooo freaking sick of seeing the “he doesn’t owe us anything” bullshit. No. The lady down the street with a full time job who blogs on the side doesn’t owe you any posts. Some random twitter user doesn’t owe you witty retorts. Artists posting their art for you to view for free don’t owe you posts.

Sanders? With his Patreon and his young fanbase? With this being his full time gig?

You’re kidding. If I go to a bakery and ask for a cake I’m not fucking demanding they ruin their mental health, I’m coming to their place where they provide a good or service expecting to RECEIVE A GOOD OR SERVICE

Not to mention, the soft uwu diversity and inclusion brand he has going on and I hear he’s staying SILENT ON THE WAR. Yeah man young and impressionable audience be sure to post those underage character pinups before you dare speak up against a genocide when you’ve CLEARLY shown you’re not afraid to speak on political issues.

And look, I hated the puritan unironic tw middle finger anti sex crowd who wouldn’t let his content mature more than anyone. That DOESNT mean you can just do whatever you want. Just like Colleen ballinger could say all she wanted that she does not make content for kids, the reality is you HAVE to consider the audience you have, not the one you want.

God. So much bullshit from a creator I really, REALLY loved. We’re passionate because we’re disappointed and because we know he’s capable of so much better. Because he HAS done so much better.

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