#why did I write this????? i really dont know its so dumb and like self indulgent ahaha | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dollfaceksj · 1 year

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reminder | jjk (m) pt. 3

➥ PAIRING: jungkook x fem!reader

➥ SUMMARY: Whenever he flies back into town, your doorbell is the first he rings. When he has to fly out again, your bed is the last he lies in. However, you’re not stupid. You know your ex-boyfriend, that also happens to be an up-and-coming professional boxer, Jeon Jungkook, doesn’t come to you only. Unfortunately, you have no right to be jealous, not when you’re the one that ended the relationship.

➥ GENRE: angst ⋆ smut ⋆ bit of fluff ⋆ exes with benefits

➥ CATEGORY: three-shot

➥ WARNINGS: explicit sexual content, lots of arguing, angst so much angst, toxicity, strong language, jealous!jk, possessive!jk, reader gets a taste of her own medicine, slightly aggressive jk (not @ reader dw), cockblocker!yoongi, hater!yoongi, mean!yoongi, yoongi just cares about jungkook okay, another bts member cameo and he’s the only normal person in this frfr, a bit of jungkook pov, quick forgiveness bc they love each other so much guys like theyre such losers omg, mentions of.. THE NECKLACE… sorry in advance, oral sex (m. rec), unprotected sex (dont be dumb), rough love making, make-up sex, shirtless ck jk because why not…, kinda subby!jk for a moment… :D, creampie, mentions of edging, mentions of overstimulation, teasing, imo both reader and jk are extremely dumb in this tbh, minors DNI

➥ WORDCOUNT: 12.5k

a/n: ah. its the final part. i wanna take the time to thank you guys for loving this three-shot! the love reminder has received really did have me considering making it into a series (i really did) but honestly i think it’s best to keep it a three-shot. HOWEVER: i wanna write a lot of drabbles for it so look out for those!

a/n 2: ignore any mistakes u see or you are cloverphobic. not betaread.

⋆ TAGLIST ⋆

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The distant thud of a car door slamming shut makes Jungkook jerk awake in his car. With a hiss, he slurps up the drool that had trickled down his chin from being knocked out and he shoots upright in his seat. He’s jetlagged as hell after flying out from Australia but he still insisted on seeing you first.

Unfortunately, when he knocked at your front door around 12AM, you weren’t home. Being his stubborn self, he decided to wait for your arrival in his car. He dropped Yoongi off at home and returned, parked in front of your door and waited.

But the sound of that car door slamming shut has pulled him out of his slumber. He looks out of the car window on his side, and there you are in the distance, dolled up and searching for your house keys in your clutch as you make your way to the front door.

Wearing a tight dress, hair did exactly the way you know Jungkook likes and from this angle he can’t see your face but without a doubt, he knows you’re absolutely gorgeous.

He takes his phone out of his pocket to check the time and the numbers on his lockscreen – which is a picture of his hand holding yours – tell him it’s 4:08AM. He’d been here for hours but all of it felt like minutes when he finally set his eyes on you again.

Right as he’s about to get out of his car, the figure of another person walks around the car you had just gotten out of. With a squint in his eyes, Jungkook tries to figure out who’s walking up to you right now.

A man, not much older than himself, holds you by your arm as he leads you to your front door. A frown creeps onto his brows when you don’t seem to have a reaction to this man touching you.

Jungkook watches as you keep digging into your purse, seemingly searching for your keys but that doesn’t matter to him anymore.

With a scowl on his pretty face, he silently gets out of his car and sneaks up on the both of you. He makes sure not to make any noise as he stands directly behind the unfamiliar man. Jungkook tilts his head to the side as he says, “She can handle the rest from here.”

He watches with a stern look in his eyes as you and the man slightly jump from the sudden interruption. Your head snaps in his direction and so does the man’s head next to you.

Jungkook can see the horror in your eyes as you come to the realization that it’s none other than Jeon Jungkook standing right next to you.

You’re staring at him like he’s grown a second head, Jungkook’s eyes trail your face and scan your features, committing it all to memory. Pupils dilated, a thin layer of sweat coating your forehead, lips swollen, remnants of lipstick smudged across your chin.

“Who’s this?” the unknown man asks you after the deafening silence that had settled around the three of you, a raise to his eyebrow as he turns his head to look at you.

You quickly compose yourself and clear your throat to speak but before you can answer, Jungkook butts in. “I’m Jungkook,” he says, cockily.

The man slowly nods to Jungkook’s introduction and opens his mouth to respond with his own name as he says, “Hoseok.”

Jungkook nods again after puffing out his chest with an air of arrogance and replying, “Nice to meet you, Hoseok. It’s awfully late, though. You should go home.”

Hoseok turns to look at you with a confused yet concerned look in his eyes, checking with you to see if it’s okay to leave you with this man named Jungkook.

You let a soft sigh push past your lips and give him a nod of reassurance. You place your hand on Hoseok’s bicep to wordlessly tell him it’s okay but he doesn’t look convinced. That’s when you say, “It’s fine, Hobi. Thank you for helping me get home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jungkook’s eye twitches at not only the nickname but at the fact that you’ve seemingly agreed to meet up with this man tomorrow. His gaze drops to your hand on Hoseok’s bicep and he rolls his eyes, fighting the urge to flex his own arms but quickly realizing how stupid he’s being.

Hoseok nods once he sees the sincere look in your eyes and slowly starts walking backwards whilst staring Jungkook down. Jungkook isn’t backing down, though, staring back head-on. Hoseok clicks his tongue and finally spins on his heels, making his way back to his car. He looks back one more time.

Jungkook hasn’t budged from where he was staring Hoseok down and Hoseok glances at you one last time before getting into his car and driving off.

Jungkook glares at the retreating vehicle until it has literally disappeared down the street.

With a frown on his face he turns to you but you avoid his gaze as you turn your keys in the keyhole, unlocking the door to your home. You don’t even hold the door open for Jungkook as you walk in, heels clicking against the tiles as you kick them off and make your way to your living room.

You toss your purse at the couch, watching as it tumbles to the ground with a loud clatter, spilling all its contents but you don’t seem to care as you turn to look at him once he closes the door behind him, in the midst of kicking his own shoes off.

“Why the hell are you here, Jungkook?”

His brows pinch together at your words, the urge to nibble on his bottom lip starting to creep up his spine. “What do you mean, why am I here?”

You stare at him for a moment longer with frustrated eyes and your lips pressed into a thin line, watching his every move but he isn’t budging an inch.

You shake your head as you start walking away from him but he quickly stops you, hand wrapping around your bicep as he tugs you back. “Y/N, speak.”

You glance down at his inked hand wrapped around your bicep and try to wiggle it out of his grasp but he doesn’t let you.

You scoff, “Seriously? I don’t fucking hear from you the entire two months you were in Australia and you have the nerve to come back and act like nothing has happened?”

Record scratch.

Jungkook can hear the cry threatening to spill from your throat and it stings him as bad as when he was punched in the mouth a week ago during a sparring match.

He’s usually gone for a week or two, never longer than that. Not only has he been gone for two months, he didn’t contact you at all while he was away.

He shakes his head, tugging you even closer to him. “You never hear from me when I’m gone, I always come back like nothing has happened! Why are you suddenly acting like it’s a big deal? We’ve been doing this for two years.”

You press your hands into his chest in an attempt to push him off but there’s no real strength behind it. “Because this time, it’s not the same!”

He quickly takes notice to your quickened breathing and the hurt in your eyes but he doesn’t comment on them and decides to stand his ground and defend his actions. “How is it not the same?”

The look of disbelief you give him has his heartbeat stuttering in its rhythm and his throat tightening as it starts drying out.

“Don’t act dumb, Jungkook,” you say, adding more strength behind your push against his chest.

He doesn’t budge nor respond, instead, he continues to stare you down with eyes that flicker with uncertainty and desperation.

You shake your head in disbelief again at his lack of response. “Last time was different. You know it was.”

Again, he has no rebuttal because he knows. He knows it was.

But Jungkook was scared. Terrified, even.

Before he reminds himself of how he’s felt the past two months, he changes the topic. “Who was that?” is all he asks.

Your brows pinch together as your eyes scan his face, dropping to his lips and catching the way he wets them with his tongue, a substitute for chewing on them. “What?” you ask him in confusion.

“Hoseok,” he pauses. “Who is he?” he asks, the face of the unfamiliar man flashing in his mind makes his blood boil all over again, fingers adjusting around your bicep to make sure you don’t slip from his grasp.

You can’t believe he’s deterring the conversation to this, apparent by the raise in your brows and the change in your pitch. “Are you serious?”

“Answer the fucking question, Y/N.” He closes the distance between you two, menacingly towering over you as he stares you down with his onyx eyes.

You huff in frustration and with a shake of your head, you reply, “He’s my friend.”

Jungkook nods to your words in mockery and then reaches up with his other hand, wetting his thumb with his tongue to wipe your chin clean of the makeup. “Friends follow you to your front door at 4AM with the same lipstick on their face that’s smudged across your chin?”

“Oh,” you begin with your eyes narrowed, “don’t you fucking start.” You wiggle your arm out of his grasp and this time he lets you, allowing you to make your way towards your bedroom. His presence is in your wake, following close behind you.

He ignores your words and as soon as the both of you enter your once-shared bedroom, he asks, “Did you fuck him?”

You groan, “No, Jungkook. I didn’t fuck him.” You start taking your jewelry off as you continue, “But friends do share New Year’s kisses.” You fully turn your back to him, tucking away your jewelry in their rightful place. “You didn’t even fucking wish me happy holidays.”

He sighs in exasperation, staring at the ceiling. He knows the fact that it’s New Years is why you’re dolled up, why you’re dressed like this, why you came home this late.

But that doesn’t make him hate it any less.

With a shake of his head, he says, “You know how busy I am, Y/N. There’s nothing more I would’ve wanted than to be here with you, you know that.” His tone has softened and he’s closing the gap between you two but he stops dead in his tracks when your head snaps in his direction.

“I’m not asking you to be here while you can’t. I know you can’t. I’m asking for at least a phone call.” You reach for the zipper on your dress right under your armpit, tugging it down to your hip. “Not even a text, are you fucking kidding me?”

He loudly exhales again, shaking his head as he throws it back and his gaze shifts up to the ceiling, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallows down what he really wants to say.

You bitterly chuckle as you eye the short distance between the two of you – he’s standing about two meters away. “Bet you had enough time for other people.”

Your accusating words make his eyebrows twitch and so, his response is immediate. “I didn’t fuck anyone.”

“Aht,” you say as you hold your hand up. “Don’t you fucking bullshit me,” you add, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

He shakes his head in disbelief, face turning to the side as his eyes shift to the wall on his left. He glares at the wall for a while, his hands on his hips and his bottom lip trapped between his teeth.

Then, he says, “Is he the one?”

Jungkook can tell by the way you sigh in exasperation that you’re fighting the urge to start yanking on your own hair.

“The one what?” you groan in annoyance as you start tugging your dress down your body, exposing your body in a matching underwear set and letting the dress pool at your feet before reaching for your bathrobe.

He rubs his face harshly as he adds, “The one you fucked.”

He’s still not looking at you but by your tone and heavened breathing, he knows you probably look like you want to bend over and scream until your vocal chords burst.

“I told you, I didn’t fuck–”

He immediately cuts you off. “I’m not talking about today. I’m talking about what you told me in the shower before I left for Australia,” he says. Then he repeats, “Did you fuck him?”

At that, you go quiet.

He closes his eyes at the silence, jaw clenching as you fidget with the ropes of your bathrobe and his own throat tightens at how you go speechless. You glance up at him with big eyes and a tremble in your chin.

At your lack of response, Jungkook finally looks at you, eyes dropping to your mouth, not missing the quiver in your pretty lips. “It’s him, isn’t it?”

You shrug your shoulders and finally find your voice after what seems like ages. “Does it matter?”

“Yes, it matters.” He stomps the rest of the way over to you, menacingly towering over you. He adds, “I’m not buddy-buddy with the people I fuck.”

You tilt your chin to look up at him, brows knitted together and a scowl forming on your face. “Drop it, Jungkook,” you mumble, tying the bathrobe around your waist.

He closes whatever small distance is still in between you, his body pressed up against your arm before he leans down to directly say the next words into your ear, “Was he good? Did he fuck you good? Did he do the thing you like?”

You move your arm up, pressing your elbow against his chest in an attempt to push him off but he doesn’t budge an inch. “Stop it,” you warn.

He clicks his tongue and kisses his teeth with a loud smack, still not backing away from you. “Not so fun to be on the receiving end of that, is it?”

He’s right. You’ve been pestering him like that for years, always bringing up his sex life with other people to provoke him, to annoy him, out of your own selfishness. Why can’t he return the energy? Put you in that situation? Give you a taste of your own medicine?

You click your tongue in annoyance not only with him but yourself. Teasing him all those times has come back to directly bite you in the ass.

“Shut up, seriously.” You bump your shoulder into his as you make your way to the bathroom but he doesn’t let you get away that easily.

“Were you together? Or was it casual?” He follows close behind you as he continues to pester you.

“Jungkook.”

He doesn’t care about the warning tone in your voice or the scowl on your face. “I just wanna know. I wanna know if he knows I fucked you all those times too.”

You don’t even respond as you start taking your makeup off, ignoring Jungkook’s gaze through the reflection. He’s leaning against the doorframe, cockily staring at you through the mirror and you do your best to ignore him.

When it’s been quiet too long for his liking, he says, “Does he know you’ll always let me do whatever I want to you?” He begins to walk closer, closing the distance between you two until his chest is pressed up against your back and continues to menacingly stare at you through the mirror. “That you’ll never forget about me?”

You slam your makeup wipes down onto the sink with a loud thud, turning to face him. He’s completely pressed up against you at this point, caging you in between the sink and his own body.

You don’t even know what to say because that’s exactly how you’d talk to him ever since the break-up. You tilt your chin to look up at him. “Stop.”

He scoffs as he stares you down with intense eyes. He kisses his teeth with a loud smack and says, “Yeah, not so fun, is it?”

You ignore his provocations like he did yours all those times and move your elbows up to his chest, pushing past him to walk back into your room. Jungkook is aware that you’re constantly creating extra space between the two of you because his proximity will have you bending to his will.

He stays back this time, just quietly watching as you get ready for bed. He can’t ignore the sinking heart in his chest as your bottom lip quivers and your breath has gotten shaky, he can never be mean to you for long and he knows that.

He deeply sighs and shakes his head at his own antics. “Come here,” he mumbles as he makes his way to you.

You don’t respond, you just keep your back turned to him as you prepare your pillows and sheets.

He quietly sighs to himself as he wraps his arms around you from the back, halting you in your movements.

He turns your body to make you face him, his big hands firmly on your hips. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said those things.” He leans into the crook of your neck and nudges your ear with the tip of his nose. “You drive me crazy and it’s making me act a fool.”

Your arms stay limp by your side, your way of telling him you’re still mad at him but you turn your face slightly to give him more access to your neck like you’ll always do.

“I fucking hate how much I love you,” he whispers into the crook of your neck, pressing a soft kiss to your collarbones, fingers digging through the fabric of your bathrobe to grip your hips tightly.

You sigh softly at the sensation of his lips on your skin again, your hands coming up to squeeze his biceps. “You’re an asshole.”

“I know, baby.” His voice is muffled by your neck but you feel the smile on his lips against your skin. “Didn’t like the taste of your own medicine?”

You grunt in response, pinching his biceps which makes him hiss and chuckle before pulling away from your neck to glance down at you.

“Will you let me kiss you?” he asks you, thumbs rubbing circles into your hipbones as his pretty black eyes roam your features.

“No,” you reply, moving your hands up to his chest and rubbing circles through his shirt.

His lips pucker up in a childish pout but he doesn’t push it any further, your proximity is enough for him.

“What’s the magic word?” you say.

His chest puffs as he chuckles, shaking his head. “Will you let me kiss you, please?”

You huff like a little kid that’s just finished throwing a tantrum but you nod your head to his question nonetheless, hands moving up to cup his cheeks.

His face closes in on yours and he presses his lips to your attention-seeking ones. He melts into your kiss, hands traveling up your sides to hold your waist tightly.

It’s been too long since he last saw you, so kissing you feels like a thousand years ago. He makes the most of it as he tightly holds onto your waist as if you don’t have breakable bones, as if you’ll slip through his fingers, as if you’ll disappear into thin air.

He slowly pulls back from your kiss. “I have something to show you,” he says as he reaches for something in his pocket. His phone seems to be in the way so he takes it out of his pocket and hands it to you so you can hold it while he searches for what he so desperately wants to show you.

You glance down at the screen as it automatically lights up and your eyes mindlessly drop down to the 3 hours old notifications.

[1:02AM]

René (AUS)

Are you still at the same hotel? Want me to come over?

[1:04AM]

René (AUS)

Missed call (1)

He watches your face twist into confusion and pain as his own eyes drop to where you’re looking at, the realization dawning on him like he got hit by a fucking train.

Jungkook’s body tenses up under your touch. His other hand drops from your hip and your eyes slowly trail to look up at him.

In a panic, he quickly says, “I swear, it’s not what you think. I swea–”

You don’t let him finish as you slam his phone into his chest and directly stare into his concerned eyes. “Fuck you.”

The way you say it with so much venom in your voice knocks the air directly out of Jungkook’s lungs.

He can hear an imaginary record scratch when you point toward your door and say, “Get out.”

Jungkook is stunned.

You have never made him leave.

You have never told him to just get out.

And for some reason, the ‘get out’ hurts even more than the vicious ‘fuck you’.

“Y/N–”

“Out.”

Jungkook shakes his head, running a hand through his disheveled hair. “Don’t make me leave. Please.”

You immediately reply, “I want you to leave. Right now.”

He stares at the wall for a few moments as he gathers his thoughts. You stare at his side profile for a few seconds before you spin on your heels and head towards your bed.

As you plop down on your bed, you’re just in time to watch Jungkook dig in the pocket of his sweatpants and roughly throw something across the room, aimed right at the wall to your right.

You flinch at the clatter of a small box being smashed against the wall and turn to look at him with a frown etched onto your features.

He has never shown you any aggressiveness ever so you’re shocked at the sudden switch. “What the hell, Jungkook?”

He tugs on his long black locks before he quietly curses and turns, loudly stomping out of your room. The shuffling of him putting his shoes on reaches your ears and before you know it, the front door has been slammed shut.

Your hand sits on your chest, right over where your pounding heart is. You’re not scared of Jungkook and never will be but there’s a reason you don’t go to his matches. You don’t like seeing the boy with the entire galaxy in his eyes be aggressive, be angry, be consumed by hate.

When you’ve finally composed yourself, you take a few breaths to steady your ragged breathing. You deeply exhale and get up from your bed, walking over to the mini box and its spilled contents.

The small blue box is on its side, wide open and something shiny is sprawled out next to it.

Small tear shaped sapphire earrings that would fit perfectly with your estranged necklace.

The words – which you recognize as Jungkook’s handwriting – on the neon pink post-it that’s stuck to the inside of the lid shatters your heart into a million pieces.

‘Be my girlfriend (again)? :)’

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[6:30PM]

Hobi

I’m outside ^_^

You smile at your phone and apply your lip gloss as your finishing touch. With a final glance in the mirror, you give yourself a smile and a nod before heading into the hall and sliding your feet into your pumps.

You leave your home after locking up and quickly make your way down to the vehicle in front of your home before hopping into Hobi’s car, leaning over to give him a greeting hug.

“Hey, you okay?” he asks as he leans back and starts accelerating after you’ve closed the car door.

“Yeah. You?” you say as you buckle your seatbelt and open up the interior mirror above your head to check your makeup again.

“I’m fine.” He slows down in front of a red light and glances over at you. “What was all that about?”

“What?” you ask, already knowing what he’s talking about as you continue to check your teeth and waterline, ignoring the persistent lump that’s forming in your throat.

“Yesterday.” He returns his gaze to the road in front of him. “Well, more like this morning.”

You sigh and close the mirror, slouching in your seat as you glance over at him. “I’m sorry about that, Hoseok.”

Even if Hoseok was just helping you get inside, you feel bad about sending him away like that.

A chuckle leaves his mouth. “I know you are, I just thought I was seconds away from being decked in the mouth.”

You look out the window, pressing your lips together in an attempt at blending your gloss with your peachy nude lip combo.

“I know. Jungkook is just,” you pause, rubbing the scrunch between your brows.

He accelerates once the light jumps to green. “Is he the boxer?”

You merely hum in response, picking at the loose flesh around your manicured nails.

“You love him, right?” Hoseok’s question knocks the air right out of your lungs. The lump that had started forming in your throat has lodged down your esophagus and has unleashed a stream of lava that causes your heart to burn.

Your lack of response makes him nod his head, his hand coming to his jaw and rubbing his freshly shaven chin.

“And he certainly didn’t seem happy to see me,” he chuckles as he recalls the events of this morning.

“Yeah, well.” You nonchalantly shrug your shoulders. “He can’t just show up at my front door after two months of not talking to me.”

“Two months?” he repeats, leaning his left elbow against the window next to him and rubbing his chin with his hand whilst his other hand manages the gear shift and steering wheel.

You nod and cross your arms over your shoulders, adjusting the belt that’s digging into your neck.

He asks, “What was he doing for two months?”

You explain the events that happened two months ago, from Jungkook showing up to you telling him for the first time (again) that you love him. You explain the entire history between you and Jungkook, all the problems, all the love, all the pain, everything.

Hoseok knew you were still head over heels in love with an ex-boyfriend that also happened to be a professional boxer but he never pried. However, as he witnessed that embarrassing moment firsthand, you’re of the opinion that you owe him an explanation.

“Hm.” He thinks about what you just told him for a few moments, seemingly in deep thought. Unfortunately, you know Hoseok well enough to know when he wants to say something.

You turn your head to look at him, chest already tightening at the thought of him not agreeing with you. “You’ve got something to say.”

He looks at you for a moment before glancing back at the road. “I’m not sure you want to hear it.”

The raise in your brows indicates intrigue and surprise at his words. “Well, now you have to say it.”

He chuckles at the switch in your tone and parks in the theater’s parking lot before turning to look at you again. “To me, it just seems like he didn’t want to suffocate you again.”

“Suffocate me? He’s not going to suffocate me by texting me once in two months, Hobi.”

“No, I get that, and he is incredibly stupid for that but it seems to me like he’s so scared of losing you again that he didn’t want to ruin anything?” he explains, his point of view being a reminder that not everything may be what it initially seems to you.

You furrow your brows and part your lips to argue but Hoseok cuts you off before you can.

“What did he say after I left? Did he seem different?”

You think about it for a while. Yes, he did seem different, now that you think about it.

And then you’re reminded of Jungkook’s gift and his question. And at that, a surge of guilt spreads through your chest and starts bubbling up your throat.

“He, uh,” you start as you clear your throat, “he just asked who you were. The usual ex-boyfriend stuff. But he did kind of ask me to be his girlfriend again.”

He unbuckles his seatbelt and then turns to you. “So, I take it y’all made up, then.”

You shake your head, avoiding his gaze as you open up the mirror again to check if there’s anything in between your teeth to pretend you don’t care. “I told him to leave.”

“Why?” His brows are pinched together in confusion and you can see him aiming his frown at you in your peripheral vision.

You shrug your shoulders nonchalantly again, hoping to appear unbothered. “I saw his phone, one of his groupies texted him. Just wasn’t in the mood.”

“Did he text them or did they text him?”

You slowly turn to look at him as a frown climbs its way onto your brows. “What?”

Hoseok stares at your for a few moments in silence before repeating his question, “Did he text them?”

You idly blink at him, the image of Jungkook’s face when he swore it wasn’t what it looked like flashing in your mind. Fuck.

You quickly compose yourself and say, “I don’t know.”

Hoseok blinks at you for a few times with a slight pinch in his brows before slowly nodding. “Okay.”

“You want to say something again,” you groan loudly, rubbing the scrunch on your forehead to prepare yourself for what he has to say now.

Surprisingly, he chooses not to. “I’m not going to this time.” A chuckle leaves his mouth after he says that, shaking his head in the process. “Let’s go, the movie is about to start.”

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Australia, 1 week ago

With a big gulp, Jungkook slams his glass down onto the wooden surface of the bar he’s sitting at. He winces at the burning liquid sliding down his esophagus, bringing his hand up to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand as he pulls his phone out of his pocket.

He stares at his lockscreen, a smile creeping on his lips at the picture. His eyes trail your fingers and your hand, how well they fit in his.

With a tilt of his phone, he unlocks it using Face ID and opens the message app. He scrolls until he sees your name, it’s been over a year since either of you last texted each other. Like mentioned before, he always comes back unannounced and you always act like nothing has happened.

It’s how it’s been for two damn years.

His fingers slowly start hovering over your contact name. Should he text you? Should he not?

He shouldn’t. You told him the two of you would talk about it when he’s back. Maybe he’d scare you off if he were to text you right now.

Besides, he’d be back in town in five days anyways.

Right as he locks his phone again, he’s dragged out of his thoughts when a hand squeezes his bicep.

He snaps his head in the person’s direction.

“You gonna keep acting like you don’t see me?” Ashley – an ‘acquaintance’ of Jungkook’s – says as she tucks a lock of her hair behind her ear.

(Read: acquaintance meaning a person he’d usually fuck if he was back in their country.)

“Oh,” he mumbles, his arm tensing up under her touch. Not to flex his arm but because he doesn’t want her touching him. “Ashley, right?”

“Hm,” she hums as she drops her hand from his arm, swiveling in her stool to face him, her knees pressed into the side of his thigh. “Doing anything tonight?”

He shakes his head as he continues to stare at the ice ball in his glass, his fingers fidgeting with the rim.

“Wanna do me?” she suggests, her feet making their way to rub up and down his calves in a teasing way.

He instantly regrets all the times he had her bent over his hotel couch, pounding into her from behind and kept his eyes shut to imagine he was fucking you.

He quietly exhales and rubs his eyes with the back of the knuckle of his index fingers as he looks for an excuse to reject her. “I don’t have any protection on me,” he mumbles, hoping she’ll get the hint.

Jungkook is responsible when it comes to his sex life. He’s quite literally always carrying protection. The only person he had ever fucked raw and would continue to do so are you.

So, these past two months he’d been walking around with nothing of the sort because he didn’t feel the need to. Now that there was that blossoming chance that he’d get back together with you, he’d wait for you.

He doesn’t want anyone else moaning his name, he doesn’t want to hold onto anyone else’s hips while pounding into them, he doesn’t want anyone but you.

“We could pass a nightshop on the way to my apartment,” she offers, her hand coming back to his bicep and sliding up his shoulder to his neck, the tips of her fingers playing with the ends of his hair.

The thought of anyone else touching him right now has goosebumps popping out of the upper layer of his skin and not in a good way.

“Let me use the restroom first,” he says as he gets up from his stool, subtly shrugging her hand off his neck in the meantime.

He looks her way for the first time since acknowledging her at the start and gives her the fakest smile he can muster. He walks around her and disappears in the sea of bodies that had started growing behind them.

He quietly makes his exit through a backdoor, standing in front of the building with his back to the door as it shuts loudly behind him. He tilts his head back and allows the infinite soft rain droplets to gently kiss his face and neck.

After a few more moments of enjoying the rain and distant booming music, he whistles at a taxi that he sees passing by and jogs toward it, hopping in the back before anyone else catches him.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

present

Damn Hoseok.

It just seems like he didn’t want to suffocate you again.

He’s so scared of losing you again that he didn’t want to ruin anything.

Did he text them?

Should you have heard him out?

You couldn’t even focus on that damn movie. Hoseok’s words and input kept clouding your mind, kept reminding you of maybe – just maybe – you were being unreasonable.

No, you’re not at fault for being upset that he didn’t say a word for two months.

You still think he’s an idiot for that.

Even if it’s been like that for the past two years. This time it was different and you’re not going to let anyone gaslight you into thinking it wasn’t.

But with how well you know his heart, his love, his passion for you, you should’ve known better. You don’t even know how long he’d been waiting in front of your door on New Years.

And there you were during New Years, opening up your front door with a man in your wake that had been in your (once Jungkook’s) bed.

You and Hoseok met at a party of a mutual friend one night and immediately hit it off. For the first time since Jungkook (about a year and a half after the break-up), you finally allowed yourself to let loose and do the thing Jungkook did to get his mind off of you.

You ended up having casual hook-ups with Hoseok, and goodness, was he amazing.

He fucked you good, touched you in the right places, said the right things, did everything right.

But he wasn’t him.

So, after about four months, you’d called it quits. Hoseok, being the amazing person he is, didn’t pry but insisted on staying friends and being there for you.

And that brings you back to the conversation you had with him in the car on your way to the movies.

He didn’t excuse Jungkook’s behavior but he made some good points, and damn him for that. Because now you can’t stop thinking about it. All of it. The worst being that Jungkook had planned to ask you to be his girlfriend again on New Years.

And thanks to all of that thinking, you find yourself in front of Min Yoongi’s front door a few days later.

Since you broke up with Jungkook, he never bothered to find a new place since he’s gone a lot. So, you assume he must be crashing at Yoongi’s when he’s not crashing at yours.

You raise your shaky fist and knock on the door.

A few seconds later, the sound of shuffling and keys jingling reach your ears and instantly sends a jolt of electricity up your spine. The door swings open and you make eye contact with his manager, his intense eyes make your heart almost implode within your ribs.

His frown at your presence almost stings. “What are you doing here?”

You look to the side as you swallow, hoping it helps you gather your courage. “Is Jungkook here?”

He scoffs, clearly unimpressed. “Why?”

“I need to talk to him.” You turn your head to look at him again, hoping you look as determined as you feel.

He dryly chuckles and shakes his head in disbelief. “So, you can kick him out at 4AM without hearing him out but he needs to hear you out because you’re the one that needs to talk now?”

You cross your arms over your chest to keep yourself from fidgeting and glance at the floor. “I want to apologize to him for that.”

“You want me to believe that?” He glances at his watch as if he’s unimpressed with your reasoning.

Gosh, why is he so stubborn?

Before you can even reply, he bitterly adds, “You need to quit playing with that boy’s feelings, Y/N.”

You finally look up at the older man, a quiver in your bottom lip and an imaginary bag of sand unleashing in your throat as your mouth dries out at his accusation. “I’m not playing with his feelings, Min,” you pause as you look away. “Please, just let me talk to him.”

“You can’t expect me to believe you came all the way out here just so you can apologize to him.” He slides his feet into his shoes, running a hand through his freshly cut hair.

He looks so nonchalant, as if what you’re saying is of absolutely no significance to him. The tightening in your chest tells you that you’re starting to lose your patience. “And why the fuck not?”

Yoongi’s eyebrows twitch as he takes a step closer to you, menacingly looming over you. You now know where Jungkook gets that from. “You could’ve texted him and he would come over in a heartbeat, you know that.”

“Let me stop you right there,” you say as you raise your hand, holding it up in front of his chest. “He’s not a fucking dog. I’m not going to text him so he can jump at every command. I know he would, which is why I took it upon myself to come here and personally apologize to him.”

Yoongi tilts his head to the side as he listens to your ramble, his arms crossed over his chest. You see the glimmer of something in his eyes but you can’t tell what it is, he’s always been too hard to read.

You drop your hand, wrapping it around the straps of the purse you’re holding in your sweaty palms to tug it over your shoulder. “So, will you let me?” you say after a few seconds of silence from Yoongi.

He narrows his eyes at you, still trying to read you and your intentions. But your sincerity is clear, evident by the fire in your eyes, your balled fists at your sides and the pinch in between your brows.

He takes a deep breath and steps aside to let you in. “Do what you want. I was about to leave anyway,” he mumbles as he slides his coat on and walks around you, heading out the front door.

He abruptly stops and turns to look at you one last time. “Don’t make him do anything stupid, Y/N. Or so, help me God.”

He stares you down as if he wants to obliterate you with a single blink of his eyes and with that, he leaves.

Jesus. What is his deal?

You clear your throat and compose yourself. You quietly close the door after he’s left, kicking your shoes off and make your way down the corridor, peeking into rooms until you find a door that’s shut. You try to open it but it’s locked so you quietly sigh before bringing your fist up and knocking softly on it.

“Can it wait ‘till tomorrow, hyung?” Jungkook’s groggy voice is muffled from behind the door.

Your chest tightens at his voice.

You shakily exhale as you drop your hand, your other hand still sitting on the door handle. “It’s me. Can we talk?”

Instant shuffling behind the closed door has butterflies eating your stomach from the inside out, your fingers tightly wrapped around the straps of your purse as you forcefully swallow down the bubble of panic that’s threatening to rush up your throat.

The door swings open and you’re met with bed hair, shirtless, sleepy Jungkook.

Your eyes drop down his figure but you quickly return them to his eyes, your lips pressed into a thin line.

His eyeballs are practically bulging out of his eye sockets at the sight of you here and his brows are dramatically pinched together but he quickly composes himself and shoves his hands into his pockets. “Why are you here?”

It stings, it does. You realize that asking him that day what he was doing at your place must’ve hurt this way. Burned this way. Stung this way.

“Jungkook,” you breathe out, your hands in front of your thighs with your fingers wrapped tightly around the straps of your purse as you swing it back and forth to distract yourself from the nerves creeping up on you.

He tilts his head to the side, parting his lips to answer your call but he closes his lips right away. The fact that he’s not replying is enough to have your heart stuttering in its rhythm, veins pulsating with fear. What if he tells you to get out like you did?

His silence makes you speak up and say, “I’m sorry.”

His expression doesn’t change but there’s a glint of surprise in his eyes. “For?”

“Everything.” Your reply is immediate.

He slowly crosses his arms over his chest. “You’re going to need to be more specific than that, Y/N,” he says with a stern tone in his voice that has your stomach twisting into a wringed out shirt.

You sigh as you watch him step backwards into the room again, leaving the door open for you, a wordless invitation.

He doesn’t even turn the light on, just goes back to sit on the bed but he reaches over to turn the flashlight of his phone on and turns his phone face down on the bed so it lights up some of the room.

You walk in and close the door behind you, looking around the room. You haven’t been here in a long time but not much has changed.

Your feet bring you to the foot of his bed, his eyes staring you down the entire time. “I’m sorry for sending you away and not hearing you out. I shouldn’t have done that.” You place your purse on his bed but stand in front of it still, anxiously fidgeting with the strap.

He continues to quietly stare at you which makes you continue, “I was,” you pause to sigh deeply, “I was upset because you didn’t talk to me.”

He exhales deeply and looks to the side, your eyes watching as his Adam’s apple bobs up and down. “You told me we’d talk about it when I was back.”

“I know I did but I thought I’d at least hear from you if it was going to last that long. I was waiting,” you explain, not missing the way Jungkook has nervously started nibbling on his bottom lip.

“I just thought that last time…” You shake your head as you continue, “I thought last time was different.”

He slowly nods as he returns the eye contact finally. “You’re right, it was,” he quietly says. “I’m sorry. I should have reached out. I was just scared you’d push me away again if I reached out to you just because you said–” he pauses as he glances at you and then turns his head to look away again, “those words. That you’d think I was too excited or something.”

Hoseok — a complete stranger to him — read Jungkook better than you. You should be fucking ashamed.

You gently rub your eyes to not mess up your eye makeup and then walk around the bed, moving to stand in front of him. He refuses to look at you, though, staring at his lap as if it’s playing a movie to him.

“Jungkook,” you start, “look at me.”

He slowly turns his head and tilts his chin to look up at you. If he notices the way your hand slightly hesitates before reaching out to him, he doesn’t show nor comment on it.

Your fingers delicately tuck his long black hair behind his ear, mindlessly playing with the shell of his ear.

“Will you hear me out this time?” he asks you, eyes twinkling with hope.

You shake your head. You don’t want to hear him out because he doesn’t owe you an explanation. “You don’t owe me anything, Jungkook. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

He wraps his fingers around your wrist as your own fingers play with his locks. “I want to. Will you let me?”

Your chest deflates as you deeply exhale at his stubbornness. “Okay.”

He reaches for his phone that he left face turned down on his nightstand and hands it to you. He’s telling you to check his phone to prove his innocence.

You shake your head as you push his phone away, you’re not that kind of person. You’re aware you and Jungkook don’t have the healthiest relationship but snooping in each other’s phones is something neither of you ever felt the need to do.

However, Jungkook is determined. “Just look at it,” he pleads.

Your eyes shift downwards as you curiously glance at the screen. It’s a text conversation between him and someone.

René.

You realize he’s showing you the full text conversation that you read last time and there are no replies from Jungkook at all.

[1:04AM]

René (AUS)

Why didn’t you tell me you were back in Australia? We could’ve gotten together and hung out!! Let me know when you’re back x

[1:06AM]

René (AUS)

Missed call (2)

You rub the scrunch between your brows and take a deep breath as the reality of the situation dawns on you. His words play on a continuous loop in your head.

I didn’t fuck anyone.

Jungkook had never denied it before. He would usually be quiet if you’d imply he’d been with someone. And if you think about it, that wasn’t even the part that made you upset. It was not hearing from him at all.

You push his phone back toward his chest when the text messages have mockingly stared at you long enough. “I’m sorry, Kook. I was such an ass.”

You continue, “This doesn’t change anything, I’m still a prick for not considering your feelings.”

He looks up at you through his pretty lashes, teeth chewing on his bottom lip which has reddened from all that nibbling.

You mindlessly press your thumb into his chin to make him release his bottom lip as you conclude, “Even if you did do whatever I thought it was you were doing, you have every right to. You don’t owe me a goddamn thing.”

“Just stop.” He shakes his head. “Don’t say that.”

You sigh as he dismisses your statements, he’s going to keep dismissing them so there’s no point in pressing him about it. “Well, I’m sorry. Are we good?” you ask as you tuck another lock of his hair behind his ear.

A soft smile stretches onto his pretty lips, his eyes glimmering like he’s holding the entire galaxy in his gaze, which is you. “Of course we are,” he says, eyelashes fluttering at you and if it was any quieter, you could probably hear the blinking of his eyelids. “Did you come all the way out here to apologize?” he adds, his voice quiet and uncertain.

No, you didn’t.

You slowly nod, sliding your fingers to his earlobe and down his jaw, rubbing his chin with your thumb. “I did.”

He nods his head and you notice the scrunch in his nose for a split second, a habit he has when he becomes emotional. Becoming emotional is the last thing you need right now so you avert your gaze to your purse on his mattress. “When will I see you again?” he quietly asks.

“You know where I live,” you say, telling him he’s always welcome whenever he needs you. You drop your hand from his face and reach for your purse, slinging it over your shoulder as you head towards the door again. The sound of him following behind you reaches your ears, letting you know he at least wants to walk you out.

It’s a direct parallel of whenever you walk him out of your house.

However, you change your mind and decide that right now is the best time to respond to his unanswered question.

“Actually,” you say as you turn on your heels, “I came for one more thing.” You take his phone out of his hand to use his flashlight.

He halts in his steps behind you and raises his brows, eyes shifting to your hands as you pull out a box from your purse.

You hold it out to him, shaking it slightly when it takes him too long to take from your hands. A frown sits on his brows for a moment but he takes it into his hands nonetheless, opening it to look inside of it.

It’s your estranged necklace, the one he gave you three years ago.

He glances up at you, his pretty eyes once full of love and hope now full of hurt and despair. His misunderstanding squeezes your heart until you almost can’t breathe under his pained gaze.

“You’re giving this back to me?” he asks, voice so small and barely loud enough to be heard.

You shake your head. “I’m asking you to help put it on me.” You turn the flashlight around to aim it at your face, allowing him to finally see the tear-shaped sapphire earrings he got you hanging from your earlobes for the first time since you walked in.

It had been dark in the room so he never noticed you wearing them until this very moment.

His eyes jump from your right ear to your left, the reality of the situation dawning on him like a pile of bricks. The smile that suddenly stretches onto his lips singlehandedly glues all the pieces of your broken heart together again.

He can’t contain his wide smile, fingers scrambling as he takes it out of the box. He throws the unimportant box somewhere on his bed and unclasps the necklace, wrapping the chain around your neck from the front, never breaking eye contact with you as his fingers fasten the chain behind your neck. He adjusts the pretty necklace around your neck and reaches up to play with the earring in your right ear.

You can’t help but smile at his giddy reaction, your fingers coming up to fidget with the pendant.

His hand drops from your earlobe to his side, fingers pinching at the fabric of his swears. “Is this a yes?”

(Read: He’s referring to the question he wrote on the post-it note.)

You shrug your shoulders with a smug grin and add, “Clearly it’s not a no.”

A soft chuckle leaves his mouth as he shakes his head at your teasing. His hands reach out and hold your waist, pulling you closer to him and your heart jolts in between your lungs at his proximity. He nudges your nose with his and respectfully drops his hands to your hips.

“Will you let me kiss you?”

The two of you giggle when you realize you’ve both asked each other the same question in unison. You bring your hands up to cup his face and press your lips to his.

He pulls you closer, closing the distance between the two of you as he tilts his head. His hands squeeze your hips and you hum into the kiss, moving your hands behind his neck so you can wrap your arms around his neck.

You pull away slowly and move to cup his cheeks, rubbing the apple of his burning cheek with your thumb.

“Stay the night. We’ll talk some more in the morning,” he says carefully, hoping you’ll agree.

You tilt your head to the side as his offer reaches your ears, a thinking pout on your lips before you part them to say, “I don’t think Min Yoongi would appreciate me staying over. He hates my guts.”

He stares at you for a moment longer and then glances at the wall. He knows you’re right. “He doesn’t hate y–”

You cut him off. “Yes, he does.”

“He hates what I let the relationship do to me. It’s not anything against you.” He tries to reason but you can’t forget the way Yoongi looks at you like he wishes you would just disappear into thin air.

He must’ve noticed the uncertainty in your expression. “I’ll lock the door,” he adds as he nods over your shoulder at the door.

“What are we, teenagers?” you laugh, rubbing his chest to make him look at you and he does.

He kisses his teeth after being in deep thought. “Okay, then just stay for a little while.” He pulls you down onto his bed, making you let out a surprised yelp.

You fall on top of him, hands still on his chest. You glance down at him and he’s got a shit-eating grin on his lips. He whimpers when you bring your hand down to slap his chest before you roll off of him to take your jacket off.

You toss the article of clothing somewhere across the room and your attention is disrupted when he wraps his hand around your wrist to pull you down and back into his embrace.

He pulls your back flat into his chest, arm hooked around your waist and his lips pressed into the back of your neck. He inhales through his nose and presses a soft kiss to your shoulder blade.

“I missed you so much.” He leaves a trail of kisses from your shoulder to your neck, not paying any mind to the goosebumps that he’s awakening directly under the soft flesh of his lips.

You hum in response and let your eyes flutter close. “I haven’t had sex in months so if you don’t stop kissing me right now, I’ll ride you for three hours.”

He chuckles and pulls away to say, “Aren’t we moving too fast?”

You roll your eyes at his stupid joke as you wiggle out of his grasp and sit up, your gaze shifting to him next to you, eyes scanning his cocky face. “You fucked me for two years, Jungkook.”

“Still.” He rolls onto his back to be able to look at you better and moves his hands up to place the back of his head on top of his palms, allowing you to look at the clear outline of his biceps and triceps. He adds, “We just started dating, you horndog.”

“Right,” you say as you mockingly nod your head and get up from his bed, starting to head out of his room. “Guess I’ll just ask Hoseok.”

By the time the ruffling of his sheets have reached your ears, you haven’t even made it halfway through the room. Jungkook drags you back by your bicep, pulling you backwards into the room. You let out a quiet shriek when he spins you in one swift motion, hooks his hands around your thighs and lifts you onto the dresser.

He wedges himself in between your thighs, pulling you to the edge of the dresser and holding you tightly by your waist, fingers draped over your ribcage. “You just love exploring my limits, don’t you?”

You chuckle and reach up to tuck his beautiful hair behind his ears with both hands. “You’re hot when you’re jealous.”

He shakes his head with a smile stretched onto lips, wrapping his arm around the perimeter of your waist to push your chest flat into his. “Yeah? I could also just text René right now,” he says as he shrugs his shoulders before adding, “ask what she’s wearing.”

Your face twists into a scowl as you press your hands into his chest in an attempt to push him off but there’s no strength behind the push because you don’t want to push him off and luckily, Jungkook is not budging.

You huff and wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your lips to his jaw and leaving a trail of soft kisses on his honey skin. “You could but you won’t.” Your breath tickles him, apparent by how quickly you can get goosebumps to pop out of his skin.

“Hm,” he hums nonchalantly and tilts his head to give you more access. He adds, “You sound awfully confident.”

“Yep,” you retort right away, dropping your arms and placing your hands on top of the dresser, leaning back on them as you look at him. “Want me to show you how confident I am?”

He cocks his eyebrows and tilts his head to the side, contemplating your words. “And how would you show me?”

You blink at him, fluttering your eyelashes innocently as you push him back and hop off the dresser. You turn him around and press his back into the dresser.

You slowly sink down, squatting in front of him and caging his calves in between your thighs in the process.

You look up at him with an innocent twinkle in your eyes as you reach for the waistband of his sweats, waiting for him to give you the green light.

“Shit,” he breathes out before eagerly nodding.

A soft giggle pushes past your lips as you start tugging his sweats down his legs and letting them pool at his ankles. You’re faced with his black Calvin Klein boxers and fuck, does he look good.

You tuck your fingers under the hem of his CK boxers and slowly tug them down his legs as well. His dick isn’t hard yet but it’s slowly growing.

You place your hands on the outer-sides of his bare thighs and move your head downwards to take the head of his dick into your mouth without using your hands, pretty eyes still staring into his.

He curses quietly and places one of his hands on your head, staring down at you to watch your every move.

You keep your eyes glued to him, lashes kissing your brows with the same innocent glimmer in your pretty eyes. You continue to move your head down his shaft, feeling it harden in your mouth and grow heavy with blood on your tongue.

His dick starts rapidly inflating in your mouth but you’ve already completely lathered it in your saliva, making it easier for you to pump his base as you continue to suck on the first few inches of his hardened dick.

You slide your tongue down his shaft, tracing one of the veins down to his balls as you gently suck on them whilst pumping his shaft, your eyes never breaking the intense lock you have his gaze in.

He winces in sensitivity and his thighs tense in pleasure as you continue to suck on his balls, your thumb gracefully rubbing over the head of his dick every time your hand makes it up his shaft.

“Quit teasing me,” he demands but it comes out in a pleading tone, his hips slightly jerking as he tries to fight the urge to thrust into your hand.

“Quit teasing me, what?” you press a kiss to the side of his shaft, eyes menacingly mocking him as you refuse to look anywhere else. You love when Jungkook submits to you because he rarely does.

He grunts in annoyance. “Quit teasing me, please.” His hand on your head gently strokes your cranium, hopeful that you’ll comply.

But you have other plans.

You haven’t taken him into your mouth since you’ve started teasing because the moment you do, he’ll make you eat your own shit by mercilessly fucking your throat. And you’re in need of teasing him some more before you let that happen.

You lick a wet stripe up the downside of his dick ‘till you make it to his tip, collecting all the precum that had started oozing out of his dick onto your tongue. You teasingly lick all around the head, the tip of your tongue sliding in between his slit which makes him hiss.

“Y/N,” he warns, trying to sound stern but his mouth betrays him when a soft, desperate moan pushes past his lips right after he says your name.

You simply hum in response. He can sound stern all he wants to but you’re the one in control, not him.

One of your hands abandons his thigh, letting the cold air hit the warm spot on his skin that your hand has left and you bring it up to massage his balls, tongue still wickedly teasing his slit.

You innocently blink up at him as you start pressing kisses to his tip, the precum sticking to your lips as you leave a sloppy trail of kisses down his shaft.

“Y/N, please,” he whimpers.

The moment his plea reaches your ears, you part your lips wide enough for him to fit through but you don’t move. It’s a wordless invitation for him to come use your mouth however he pleases.

He gets the memo right away and doesn’t waste any time to slide right into your mouth, holding your head in place as he thrusts into your mouth, groaning when the head of his dick slams into your soft palate.

You blink your tears away but it’s useless as he continues to assault the back of your throat, tears uncontrollably spilling from your eyes and rolling down your hot cheeks, ruining your makeup in the process.

You tap his thigh twice and he understands, halting his thrusts and glancing down at you to check. Once you take his dick back into your mouth and move your own head down his shaft again after catching your breath, he throws his head back and lets you suck him off to the best of your abilities.

Your makeup has undoubtedly smudged all over your face but you don’t mind, not when Jungkook loves it. You gracefully move your mouth down his dick, committing the feeling of his hardened shaft effortlessly sliding over your tongue to memory.

He moans and groans a few more times and that tells you he’s nearing his orgasm. But just as you’re about to speed up, he stops you.

“I want to cum inside of you,” he tells you before sliding out of your sloppy mouth.

You try to catch your breath and nod as you wipe your chin and mouth with the back of your hand before rising to your feet.

“I don’t like that I’m completely naked and you’re fully clothed.” He reminds you that you are – in fact – fully clothed and he is – in fact – buttnaked.

“I don’t know, seems kind of fair to me.” You shrug your shoulders once you tug your shirt off and throw it somewhere in the room. You bring your fingers up to right under your eyes to try and clean up some of the makeup stains on your hot cheeks. “‘Cause aren’t you a pervert, anyway?”

He scoffs as he crosses his arms. “I’m the pervert?”

He takes a breath to continue his argument but it’s abruptly cut off when you unclasp your bra and toss it at him, watching as it gracefully drapes over his shoulder.

His eyes drop down to your chest as if he’s forgotten you even have eyes before his hands wrap around your waist and push you toward his bed with a quickness.

You let yourself fall back against the soft mattress but you can barely enjoy the feeling before his fingers tug your pants down your legs. You prop yourself up on your elbows and watch as he mindlessly tugs your jeans off your ankles, angrily tossing it aside.

A soft giggle leaves your lips as you watch him be passive aggressive with your pants but not for long when his eyes shift to yours.

“Something funny?” he quips, eyes dropping down to the only piece of fabric that’s hindering what he wants to do to you.

You glance down at your panties before back up at him. Your hand travels down your stomach to your pelvis, slowly sliding your panties to the side, allowing him to see what a mess he’s made between your legs.

His tongue peeks out at the corner of his lips, sliding along his bottom lip as he eyes your attention-seeking sex. He hooks his fingers around your panties and slides them down your legs, tugging them off your ankles and tossing them somewhere on the floor over his shoulder.

He hunches over and positions his mouth right above your pussy before spitting on it, watching your legs jerk as he rubs it into your already soaked sex with his fingers. He knows you like it and he’s right, it drives you up the fucking wall every time he does.

He straightens his back and positions himself at your sticky sex, rubbing the head of his dick up and down your wet slit.

He wastes no time as he looks into your eyes when he pushes in, watching your face and how your eyes widen, your mouth falls open, your body jerks.

“Jungkook.” His name leaves your mouth in a desperate moan as he bottoms out, his brows furrowed and his bottom lip trapped between his teeth.

He lets out a low grunt and after a while of adjusting to the feeling of being inside of you again, he starts thrusting into you.

Your eyes shift to where you’re connected, intently watching how his dick disappears in and out of you. A pathetic moan falls from your lips, a surprised yelp following directly after when he grabs a handful of your breast, massaging it in his palm as he fucks into you.

His hips speed up in pace, the sound of his skin slamming into yours has your eyes rolling back and your arms give out, making you fall back against the mattress, sprawled out in front of him again.

He lets go of your breast and pushes one of your legs back, hooking it around his arm to keep it in place and mercilessly starts pounding into you, face hovering right over yours. “You’re so beautiful.”

Your eyes flutter open at his words, the only thing you can think about now is the stretching in your walls and his beautiful face in front of yours.

“You belong to me, don’t you?” he muses, face closing in on your neck as he presses soft kisses to your sweaty skin. The soft whines and whimpers leaving your mouth makes him fuck you harder yet gentler, full of love yet full of hate, want but also need.

You gather your breath to answer his question, in the mood to tease him now that he’s finally yours again. “No.”

Teasing each other is your love language.

His hips slow down and his face appears in front of yours again with a frown. His jet black eyes staring you down makes you want to sink into his mattress and disappear off the face of the Earth. He arrogantly clicks his tongue as he says, “Is that so?”

“Mhm,” you hum, closing your eyes as you move your hands up to the back of his neck to play with his hair, twirling his locks around your fingers.

He mockingly nods at your teasing. “You know damn well no one else fucks you like I do.” His thrusts get harsher, eyes dropping to your breasts bouncing from the momentum of his pounding.

You whimper at the switch, the rough pounding makes the wetness squelch extra loud and you’ve made a disgusting mess against his sex with your slick.

“You know, Hoseok was pretty goo–”

“But who’s the one fucking you right now?”

His rebuttal has you dead silent aside from the occasional, pathetic moans and heavy breathing. You open your eyes and the first thing you’re met with are his own, black and frustrated.

“The love of my life.”

Your reply to him has his hips stuttering in their rhythm, the corners of his lips twitching as he tries to fight the smile threatening to creep onto his lips. In order to hide his smile, he starts leaning down and presses his lips against yours in a sweet kiss, a stark contrast to the rough pounding of his hips.

Make-up sex really is the best.

You decide it’s enough teasing and wrap your legs around his waist, caging him in between your thighs as you pull him even closer. “I love you so much,” you mumble against his lips, arms wrapped around his neck to fully keep him trapped in your embrace.

He nods at the words, his pelvis still repeatedly slamming into yours. His hips slow down but the power behind them never subsides, the rough pounding has all your nerve endings set alight and your thighs jerk violently when the head of his dick barely grazes your cervix with each thrust.

“I’m gonna cum,” he mumbles against your lips, allowing you to lick into his mouth. You clench around his dick, walls wrapping tightly around him. He groans into your mouth, it’s your way of milking him of every drop and he knows it.

“Harder,” you moan once he pulls away from your lips, his brows knitting together as he complies, roughly slamming his hips into yours.

His breath is getting heavier by the second and his dick twitches in between your walls, alerting you that he’s seconds away from his climax. “I love you so much,” he mumbles as he ejaculates, painting your insides with his cum.

He keeps thrusting and lets long groans and moans leave his lips as he fucks his load into you, your soft whimpers in his ear are the cherry on top that drives him insane.

He gives you a couple more thrusts before he fully comes to a halt, face buried in the crook of your neck.

The synced heavy breathing, his proximity, the reality of the situation, it all has tears pricking in your eyes.

He slowly lifts his head off your shoulder, eyes searching yours. “You haven’t cum yet, hm?”

You shake your head in response.

“Remember when you teased me while sucking my dick 20 minutes ago?” he asks as he unhooks your legs from his waist.

Your breath hitches in your throat as you listen to him, already knowing where this is headed.

“Get ready,” is all he says.

He pulls out and drags you all the way to the edge of his bed, forcefully shoving his fingers into your mouth while the other wastes no time traveling to your sex and beginning its torturous assault on your sensitive clit.

Your throat is ruined from the screams you’ve let out when he continues to edge and overstimulate you for the next 30 minutes, watching in satisfaction as you writhe and squirm under his touch.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

You wrap the towel around your frame as you leave his bathroom, eyes glued to him as he’s staring at the ceiling before his eyes shift to you. He turns on his side and props his head up on one hand, a smile on his lips as he watches you dig into his dresser for something to wear.

“When do you leave again?” you ask quietly as you pull out a pair of his sweats.

He stares at your back for a moment longer before answering, “Next Thursday.”

(Read: For context, it’s Friday right now.)

Your hands find one of his bigger shirts and you pull it out, placing it next to the sweats you chose on top of the dresser.

You continue, “Where are you going?”

He thinks about his answer for a few seconds. “Brazil,” he says. This conversation happens every time and yet he answers like it’s the first time you’re asking him these questions.

You slowly nod as you consider asking him what you want to ask him.

“How long will you be staying there?” you ask as you drop your towel and slide his sweats and shirt on, ditching your bra and underwear.

He looks up at you as he says, “I’m not sure, probably a week or two.”

Your feet slowly take you to him and you take your seat on his bed right next to him.

You nod your head in understanding again before you reach out to tuck his hair behind his ear, addicted to the way his soft hair feels against your skin.

“Will you let me come with you?”

Your question has him perking up like a cartoon character, lips twitching, eyes wide, ears expanding.

Ever since you met him, you had never flown out with him anywhere. You love change but you also love the comfort of your own home.

But love is about compromise, is it not?

He instantly shoots up in his bed and lunges at you, wrapping his arms tightly around your frame, face buried in your hair. He deeply inhales, his arms almost crushing your ribs, his pounding heart beating against your chest.

His breath has gotten shaky but you can tell that he’s fighting the urge to bawl in your presence. And eventually, he finally finds the voice that abandoned him in his time of need.

“I would love that.”

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

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chiiyuuvv · 9 months

Note

heyy can I request xikers reaction to you being insecure about something in yourself(anything, u name it) thank youu and I love your writing 🤍✨

• PAIRING — xikers x fem!reader

• GENRE — comfort, insecurities, yeah

• WORD COUNT — 695

• AUTHOR'S NOTE — Everything that i have written has been pulled from here so if there was something i didnt name or you'd like to read more about, i highly suggest it :)

• TAGLIST — @lil-elle , @hyunukitty , @cake1box , @mars101 , @nenede , @soul-is-a-strange-kid , @the-lemon-boy , @yuniniverse , @hunchan444 , @s00buwu , @cherrycolaberry

MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!

"I'm not going to get into that college"

First and foremost, minjae understands the pressure to get into a certain college in order to please your parents. But you wanna know whats more important? Why do you wanna go? Other than pleasing your parents. After a long talk and cuddle, you should come into a better sense of whether or not college is something you want to do. But either way, you should always believe in yourself! ♡

"I don't have many followers"

Junmin's going to take away your phone. Not because you did something bad, but so you can take a break. Go outside, turn on do not disturb and take a walk with your lovely boyfriend. Its a win-win for you, him, and his dogs. A win-win-win, technically ♡

"I don't have a good fashion sense"

As someone who likes to dress a certain way, sumin knows what its like, but he has a tip; dress for you. When you wear things that make you happy, you often forget about the others around you, and their opinions. It also helps you stand out from the crowd. Wear what you like ♡

"I cant do any better"

Grabbing both of your hands, jinsik will give them a tight squeeze in front of the mirror, making you repeat the same mantras every morning. They may feel silly at first, but over time they help you convince yourself that you are worthy of whatever you desire ♡

"I dont have many friends"

First, hyunwoo will talk about the importance of friends. Friends that help you grow to become the better you and give you a good laugh. Friends that would never judge you for their own benefit. That being said, you need to eliminate the ones that dont actually care for you. Worry less about the quantity, and more about the quality. Who cares if you only have 3 friends? As long as youre happy and growing, thats all that matters ♡

"I'm not pretty enough"

Beauty is subjective. You may be insecure about one thing, but junghoon, 9 times out of 10, finds it really stinking cute. But what he feels doesnt matter, what others think doesnt matter. How you think matters!! So stop worrying about other peoples eyes and work on your inner self. If youre happy.. youre at peace, and if youre at peace, you start to smile. And thats very attractive ♡

"I'm not that smart"

"Why dont you think youre smart?" Seeun would ask, his chin resting against his hand. "Why do you want to be smart?" These questions may be dumb but they have meaning. We all have the ability to learn something. After all, life is about experiencing things and growing from it. It all just takes time, so dont stop believing in yourself, 'kay? ♡

"No one will miss me when im gone"

Although you may feel alone and think no one would care, yujun would care. Yujun would always care. But, stop worrying about the future, you know? Live your life in the present with no regrets. Every moment spent worrying is a moment spent not really living. When you obsess over that type of stuff, you are missing out on whats in front of you. And when you miss that, you wont realize the people who love and support you ♡

"I feel overweight"

Hunter will take you to the gym, but not just so you become 'thin' and everyone will accept you, to focus on being healthy, mentally healthy too. Focus on getting in shape with a well balanced diet and exercise program. Hunter will help! ♡

"People talk behind my back"

"Do you know that for sure??" Yechan would ask, poking his fork in his salad. "Because most of the time, its just an imaginary conversation you have in your head. Stop worrying what other people think and focus on your well being. But what you said is true, expect to see me at your school." He finishes, shooting you an innocent smile ♡

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bug-bites · 10 months

Note

one of my fav things to read/write is a f!reader x Simon "Ghost" Riley, where the reader is almost exactly like ghost. I'm talking full black mask, (maybe legally dead) few words, silent, callsign generally spooky like Reaper or Phantom, and I was wondering if you would wanna do that?

Usually I have reader as a childhood friend or adopted sibling of Roach, which is why roach is so comfortable around ghost. He's just used to it. If it's pure fluff or platonic that's completely fine, and if you don't wanna do that it's also fine!! I just thought I might as well shoot my shot :)

Your an amazing writer, have an awesome day <3

seeing double

cw: canon-typical violence, breif (pun intended) mention of ghost having skeleton boxers (nothing like explicit though i dont even know if this needs to be mentioned tbh but better safe than sorry), ghost gets shot womp womp, angst w/ a happy ending, so many military inaccuracies, barely proofread :P

pairing: platonic!simon 'ghost' riley x f!reader, gary 'roach' sanderson & reader

characters: simon 'ghost' riley, gary 'roach' sanderson (price, gaz and soap mentioned v briefly!)

authors note: omg you are so sweet thank you so much!! sorry this took so long i've been so busy with things, i hope you don't mind that i got a bit silly with this one and basically wrote a fic in jot notes 😭 (ALSO ROACH MENTION!! I LOVE MY BBYG THANK YOU ANON <3)

when you first met ghost he genuinely thought this was a joke. the balaclava, the whole death motif, your callsign being phantom which is literally synonymous with ghost, even your attitude was so eerily similar to him. it was like looking in a mirror

it didn't help when he tilted his head you mirrored your actions

i think he wouldn't gravitate immediately to you, it's not that he didn't like you he just felt a bit odd with how similar you two were, in all honesty he was probably slightly unnerved by you

soap and gaz definitely crack jokes about you being the second coming of ghost or something dumb like that

whenever anyone is referring to you and ghost and phantom it was always "the ghosts" or "ghost and girl ghost" which pissed you OFF

roach cant count all the times you have ranted to him about how everyone treats ghost like he came up with your whole aesthetic and you copied him when you have been doing this for YEARS before you even met ghost!

"and everyone acts like he invented skeletons and being legally dead! how self centered do you have to be to act like you invented skeleton iconography?! THEYRE SKELETONS. THATS LIKE BASIC HUMAN ANATOMY. and its always men taking the credit- god its so stupid! i did shit this first and how do i know that he isn't copying me huh?? did we ever think of that?? and ghost is such a basic ass fucking name like really. ghost? bet the only reason he wears that mask is to cover up his casper sized forehead."

roach knows that you're annoyed and you probably aren't trying to be super mean- maybe you don't even think ghosts forehead is casper sized! but hey, he isn't trying to argue while you look like you're about to rip someone's head off

instead he opts for calmly signing words of comfort lest you tear ghosts head off (with a few minor corrections)

"yes roach i know phantoms are pretty much the same as ghosts but that's not the point. you're basically my brother. you have to be on my side. that's how it works."

its good you and roach get along with each other. however, since you are just so similar with someone whos name starts with s and ends with imon "ghost" riley he becomes friends with roach quite easily and rants to him too

"she thinks shes so fookin crea'ive but you know wha? she isnt. bet ive been in SAS longer than her. wheres 'er skull tattoo at?? cause i got a whole sleeve done almost a decade ago! she isnt the first to come up wi' this. see, i get youre friends wi' 'er but truth is she di'nt come up wi' all o' this 'erself and she isn't half as dedicated as me. i even got skeleton boxers! she got those??- wait no dont answer tha' i dont wan' tha' image in my head."

for the first month or two whenever you see each other its clear you two do not get along.

roach tried to crack a joke but if anything it just made you hate ghost more

"hey, phantom. what's got two legs and bleeds?" "half a dog." you and ghost respond in unison

the rest of the day you dont even acknowledge each other. price makes a joke about how "you both are acting like you killed someone" which you mutter a small "oh im going to that's for sure" under your breath

safe to say you had a long rant to roach about how now not only is he stealing your whole persona, he's taking your jokes now too

you think roach would be torn between choosing sides but no this man loves every second of it. its so petty- so stupid he just needs to see how long you two idiots will keep butting heads

you mention how you were planning on getting a red mask? he's going up to ghost being like "hey, ghost did i ever tell you red is totally your colour? you know what actually? you should get a red mask!"

you both walk into the next briefing with your new masks and you couldn't be more pissed

to make matters worse you both are teamed up for the next mission. something about stopping a major arms dealer but ghost is the one getting his hands dirty. all you need to do is get into security, guide him through the complex enough for him to grab intel and leave

its simple. you've done it a billion times before, same with ghost. the first half goes fine. you both get in, he grabs the intel and is ready to head out, both of you speaking only when necessary.

minor issue- actually major issue, getting out wasn't as smooth. somehow ghost ended up shot right as he's notifying you that he's almost out. you hear the gunshot ring out, a grunt and scuffling.

"phantom to ghost. how copy."

your voice rings out, an eerie silence following after

"ghost. how copy."

you repeat again, this time earning a response

"m' alive. shot in the leg. bullet went clean through, makin a torniquet as we speak" he grunts back. you have never been happier to hear his stupid manchester accent "keep it that way."

if past you knew those four words directed at ghost would come out of your mouth, you're pretty sure you would've stolen a tank and driven it off a cliff immediately with ghost in it too probably

but now is not the time hotwiring a tank and locating a cliff would take too long anyways, you guide him out, occasionally telling him some stupid fun fact to make sure he's still there or just to keep him alert

"did you know that jellyfish have one hole for their mouth and asshole?" "these get more concerning the more you tell me." "most koalas have chlamydia." "alrigh', 'nuff of that. fun facts are s'pposed to be fun, you know that right?" "learning is fun."

this earns a chuckle from him which he quickly covers up with a cough

he makes it out alive, busted up that's for sure but alive nonetheless

you hook his arm over your shoulder, talking about everything and anything to keep him conscious. he's going to listen anyways so might as well make the most of it

"you're not as bad as i thought you'd be, 'specially for a copy cat." he says after you tell him yet another bizarre animal fact "i got a red mask first by the way" "piss off. this is why i don't compliment you" he rolls his eyes, for once not out of annoyance "i wear it better anyways." "sure, sure. believe what you want, but just know that i'm the cooler one." "you also are shit at making tourniquets" "so you finally admit that i'm cooler." no amount of eyerolling or snappy comebacks can hide your grin at this point. you silently thank your past self for choosing to wear a mask all the time "you're quite bold for someone who got shot in the leg"

once you two get back, practically everyone is surprised how all the deadly glares and colorful insults muttered under heavy sighs between you two have now been replaced with playful banter and empty threats with no murderous intent behind them

price heard you laughing with ghost followed up with you telling ghost "they will never find your body" which did scare the shit out of him but it made ghost laugh so hard he nearly pissed himself

price made sure to check that ghost was in fact alive for the next few days, just to make sure you were joking

when asked about it both of you just shrug and reply "trauma bonding."

roach, although disappointed with the absence of drama is glad to see two of the most special people in his life getting along bros just sad he cant be an instigator anymore

and as soon as ghost comes back from leave, he's got double the scary dog privileges he originally had

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ddlcbrainrot · 4 months

Note

Same anon as before yes hello

With Monika I think one thing I always remember with her is that she’s very good at saying stuff she doesn’t seem fully believe. A lot of her act 3 discussions is her acting as if she doesn’t care, that she doesn’t feel guilt, that she truly thinks the others don’t matter. But we know that just isn’t the case. If she never cared then why would she have a protein bar, why didn’t she just delete them all immediately, why did she still have them tucked away? She wants to seem like she’s this all in control mastermind but she just… isn’t. She’s doing so much to try and relate with us but no matter what there’s the part of her that cares that she simply can’t get rid of. She can make her hanging joke, but it’s mostly for us and partially to convince herself. “Oh the player probably doesn’t care, I shouldn’t either, why should I care, the player don’t think they’re real and well they aren’t, but I am.”

For me I rarely call her a full asshole not because what I think she did was right (she fucked up), but because I can constantly see her contradicting herself no matter how hard she tries to be other wise. To me, especially in side stories, Monika wants to SEEM like she’s perfect but she knows in her heart of hearts that she isn’t, that she isn’t capable, that she will never be perfect. But damn it, she has to be. Or else then no one would care about her. Monika definitely seems like she has an ego but it honestly feels so performative for me, especially when in side stories she spends so much time self flagellating herself and her issues as “silly” or “stupid”.

That’s a lot of text and idk if it’s coherent, basically yeah I just think base game Monika tries super hard to seem like some sort of uncaring bad bitch but she isn’t as much as she tries to be. In side stories she’s coming from a good place and in base game it’s a desperate place. Theres a bit of malice there, but it’s not completely her motivator.

And yeah I agree that she wouldn’t automatically become a better person, she’s got a long way. But the first step is to acknowledge the fuck up and that’s what she does after being deleted and being pissy for a bit. And also above all the stuff about her previous guilt that is subtly shown throughout act 3. God she especially realizes some shit after seeing Sayori be in her same position. So in a post game story, she knows she cares about the others and feels guilt. How does she fix it tho? Definitely agree on the self sabotage part, considering Monika doesn’t even let herself be reinstalled in act 4. Her worse enemy is herself. And how can she realize that if no one is able to call her out? Certainly not herself if she thinks it’s the “right thing” to do. It’s all very fascinating and tragic really. But shows how important it is to have other people who are equals to you and can call you out or talk to you, which side stories Monika has in abundance.

I just sent this ask so fast cause I really do enjoy some good conversations about Monika that have so much nuance. She’s so interesting cause of her multitudes.

(And well I’m someone who isn’t on tumblr at all so idk about that, unless some how my writing has breached containment dhdjr)

Monika is a gaslighting queen, even if the person who she is gaslighting is herself lmao. She is definitely not a mastermind, or prefect, even though she wants to appear this way. And she is also not dumb, she knows this. But she keeps trying to convince herself otherwise. I've made a post in the past talking about how obvious her denial is in act 3, and i dont think i need to explain it either, if you play the game and listen to her dialogue its like hilariously and embarrassingly easy to see. There is a slight resentment present for the girls in base game, but its also very apparent that she cares a lot for them even as she tries to convince herself she doesn't.

I wouldn't exactly call her an asshole either, more like... a person who can be sort of shitty sometimes. As for her ego, I do think she truly believes she knows best, and she will follow through with her plans initially without taking into consideration the others, but after she starts second guessing herself quite a lot. Her ego is very contradictory if that makes sense idk

That part about Monika being her worst enemy sums it up pretty well I'd say

(damn maybe my deduction skills aren't as good as i thought then... still i really enjoy ur asks on Monika so I'd say you seeming super cool still stands)

#ddlc #asks #ddlc monika #character stuff

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quijabored · 3 months

Text

SPOILERS FOR UP TO EP6 S5 OF BUNGO STRAY DOGS

HERE WE ARE AGAIN

It's been far too long for not watching BSD, but in my defense I've been playing bungo tales, drawing more bsd, (Dazai doodles will hopefully be up soon? If theyre not theyll be up tommorow) and I've also been in the midst if reading and writing for a book I'm working on.

So long story short, I haven't had much time to watch it, BUT IM BACK

AND DEAR GODS DO I HAVE TO SAY THINGS

FIRST OFF, *AKUTAGAWA*

FIGURED OUT WHERE THE NECK SLASH PANNEL CAME FROM, *BUT WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS*

MY SON, MY BABY, MY WILL TO LIVE, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GET HURTTTTT

HES NOT DEAD THOUGH I DONT THINK

THEY HAD ME IN THE FIRST HALF BUT THEN THE VAMPIRISM SHIT STARTED HAPPENING AND I WAS LIKE "OH THANK GOD"

If he does die I'm actually gonna start sobbing

I kid you not I went outside of my room and was like "HES- HES NOT DEAD. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE- UH-"

While like on the verge of tears

IT WAS SUPER FUN THOUGH

STILL A FUCK YOU FUKUCHI

HATE THAT GUY FR, I GOT SO EXCITED WHEN THEY FINALLY GOT THE PAGE BUT I KNEW IT WASNT OVER JUST YET BECAUSE THE ABRUPT ENDING WAS TOO ODD AND I LOVE CALLING THINGS IN SHOWS BUT NOT LIKE THIS MAN

ALSO AKUTAGAWA BACKSTORY KINDA????

HIS YOUNGER SELF LOOKS SO DEAD INSIDE PLEASE I WANT TO PAT HIS HEAD :((((

He would kill me if I got too close BUT SHHH

AND THEN BRAM????

I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

HES SO SILLY LIKE AAAAAA

IM GONNA GET TO HIM IN A MINUTE BUT I GOTTA TALK ABOUT TACHIHARA AND JOUNO FIRST

FIRST TACHIHARA

I KNEW HE WAS GONNA LOSE THE FIGHT AGAINST FUKUCHI, BUT GOD DAMN IT DID HE HAVE TO USE HIS STUPID TIME SWORD???

I HATE THE TIME SWORD SO MUCH IM GONNA MOP THE FLOOR WITH FUKUCHIS BLOOD

OH OH ALSO ALSO

TECCHOU AND JOUNO ARE *NOT* STRAIGHT BRO LIKE AINT NO WAY

I TOOK A SCREENSHOT FOR IT, THE LINE WAS, I KID YOU NOT, "Stop jabbing me in the ass!"

*MY MOTHER WALKED IN WHEN IT WAS PLAYING*

Most horrifying experience I've ever had, she just slowly walked away

ALSO THE FACT THAT JOUNO WAS LIKE "Wait till the other guys and Tecchou hear about this!"

Like why didn't you lump them together 🤨 kinda fruity if you ask me 🤨🤨🤨

I'm delusional

OH AND JOUNO BEING LIKE "You made the mistake of showing me how to care for the life of others"

LIKE AAAAAA???? I LOVE MY SON

ALSO HIS ABILITYS COOL ASF

And then Akutagawa bit him

SPEAKING OF AKU

I WAS STARVED FOR LIKE THE ENTIRE SEASON BEFORE I SAW HIM AGAIN, *AND THEN HE GETS ALMOST KILLED??? HELLO?????*

Seeing him w/o his coat was super fun though, I can finally figure out how his shirt looks for my artings

Makes me really sad how he sees everything as a test for Dazais approval though :(

Knowing he's gonna die due to a lung disease hurts, like I knew he was sick and stuff but still :(

WHEN THEY WERE LIKE "Im gonna kill you Atsushi! RAAAHHH!!!" AND THEY STARTED RUNNING AT EACHOTHER I WAS LIKE OH FUCK YEAH THEYRE GONNA TRICK HIM

And then Fukuchi went back in time.

ALSO TACHIHARA BEING LIKE RAAAAHHH IM A PORT MAFIA MEMBER NOW RAAHHHH LIKE I LOVE HIM

AND AND AND NOW FOR MY FAVORITE SEGMENT

BRAM AND AYA!!!

THEYRE SO SILLY OH MY GOSH I LOVE THEM

Imagine putting your pink children earbuds into a Gothic Victorian man's earlobe, ant other person from that time would've called it witchcraft

THE WHOLE RADIO THING I LOVE IT

"Im trying to sleep." LIKE ANY TIME HIS COFFINS OPEN I LOVE HIM

I just have to hope nothing bad happens cuz everyone's like on the brink of death right now

KUNIKIDAS NOT GONNA DIE, I KNOW THAT FOR A FACT (If I turn out wrong by the time the series ends Im crying)

I love how hes yapping about old stories and how he's super strong and then Ayas just like "The huh??"

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

OH ALSO

WHEN JOUNO WAS IN THE MEETING WITH EVERYONE AND HE STOPPED BEFORE FUKUCHI LEFT THE ROOM I WAS LIKE "HAHAHA ITS OVER FOR YOUUUU"

AND WHEN HE TRIED TO PLAY DUMB I WAS LIKE HUH??? AND RHEN HE WAS LIKE "I knew before this, Fukuchi." AND I WAS LIKE CALLED IT

I love bsd I love bsd I love bsd I love bsd I-

TERUKOS SO SILLY I LOVE HER SO MUCH

ALSO RANPO AND POE ARE SO SILLY LIKE YOURE TELLING ME POE WROTE A BOOK FOR RANPO AND THE AGENCY TO HAVE A MEETING IN JUST BECAUSE HE ASKED??? I LOVE THEM

THERE HASNT BEEN MUCH TECCHOU CONTENT BUT WAAA WAAAA WAAAAA I LOVE HIMMMMM

HES SO SILLY AND ADORBS

Not as much of an adorbie worbie as Akutagawa tho, no one can top my son

Love Mori when hes not being a creep, I still hate him but his character interests me to say the least and Ill analyze him further eventually.

I THOUGHT I WAS ALMOST DONE BUT NO

DAZAI AND FYODOR ARE FUCKING INSANE

I love both of them.

POOR SIGMA BRO HES WATCHING THEM WILLINGLY PUT POISON INTO THEIR BODYS???

IS DAZAI GONNA LIKE USE HIS HEARTBEAT SHIT TO SLOW DOWN THE THING OR IS NIKOLAI GONNA BE LIKE "Yeah Im gonna help you because I want my bestie to die :3"

NIKOLAI CALLING FYODOR BESTIE IS WHAT GIVES ME LIFE I LOVE THEM

I didn't see a chess board when Dazai and Fyodor were in their weird bubble cells, but Fyodor called Dazai his chess buddy, so I'm 90% sure they just kinda...

"I move my rook to E5."

"You dont think I saw that coming? Knight E5."

"Hm, whatever. I already planned this out anyways. Queen, E5"

"Hah, youre only just starting to fall into my traps. Ill play the waiting game. Pawn, D3"

BUT LIKE IN THEIR HEADS

HELLO???? THEY??? HOW???

I love playing chess sm though, very fun game would reccomend

I play chess with my therapist actually :3

It's really neat, live laugh my therapist bro

I THINK THATS IT BUT IF I REMEMBER ANYTHING ELSE ILL SAY IT LATER!!

LIVE LAUGH ASAGIRI BRO

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miusato · 6 months

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I dont have a clear idea in my mind but ever since I sketched that dumb AU of Shinjiham in HS i have the feminine urge to make up a HC of them lmao i doubt anybody be reading this but i like talking to myself and reread this the next morning so ima just write this down lol

Like I said I dont have a clear idea but basically Shinji extended his study and ended up in the same year as Kotone (11th grade) because he actually got into a coma. Im playing around the idea that the story revolves around why is he in the same year as she is? Why did he fell into coma and how did he get into coma in the first place? This also means that Kotone didn't meet him until he enrolled into her class. Aki is still her senior and they're friends because idk I havent think of this yet lol but anyway one day Aki asked if she can help him keep an eye on Shinji and told her about him going to enroll in her class soon and he knows Shinji will struggle because he's pretty much an outcast and some people speculates and make rumors about his reasoning for his extension and Aki really cares for him and doesnt want him to fall behind or fail so he asked her a favor to help him out.

Shinji is hard to befriend at first and tell her to buzz off but when she mentioned Aki asked her to keep an eye on him and she won't take no for an answer, he sighed and said how annoying he is for setting him up like that lol At first he is kinda frustrated at how persistent she is on trying to help him and how she gets into everyone's business in class but he's aware of how contagious her presence can be and knows how people around her always be at ease when she's in class so he slowly opened up to her and accepts her kindness.

I dont really want him to be as depressive and suicidal as canon but I can see him having a self-worth issue and having a hard time accepting goodness around him. I kinda imagine at one point Shinji and Aki had a huge fight about him pushing everyone away and screaming at him that he's not as mysterious as he thinks he is and he's too blind by his own pity party to see how people still loves him and it took him a fist on the face and Aki crying to get that through his thick skull.

After the fight, he didn't come to school for a few days which actually worries Kotone because despite how uninterested Shinji always be in class, he never delibrately skip class and oddly enough he always pass his homework on time so she visited his place with his homework packets (and after bribing the office clerk for his address) and when she sees him all bruised up in his face she was like SHINJI WHAT HAPPENED WHY YOURE ALL FUCKED UP WHO DID THIS TO YOU AWAFSJQGRAJALA and he hissed at her to shut up and after she apologised, he admits that Aki punched him and after reassuring her it's technically his fault, he asked if she actually liked him and just as she's about to stammer with red on her cheeks, he quickly corrected himself that what he meant is if she likes being friends with him because he is such an ass to her and opens up about what he fought about with Aki and it's not until he sees tears in Aki's face that he's not the only one hurting and him pushing people away to not hurt them actually hurts other people too. Kotone assured him that if he realized that, its not too late to change and he has friends to help him get back on his feet. When she mentioned "friends", he looked at her and asked "Kotone, are we friends?" And she beamed at him and hook his pinky around her and whispered "Always been." and that's when he really accepts her and sees her as a genuine friend and not some annoying girl in class.

Idk how do I make them ended up dating but I just like the idea of a slow burn relationship so in the meantime they're just friends with budding feelings towards each other hsksksksksk

#also both Shinji and Aki are orphans of course but I imagine they lived separately in their own foster family homes #their homes arent bad but Aki has better functioning foster parents while Shinji's parents arent involved in him-#so Shinji works at the convenience store at night whenever he's free for extra money #and they basically took Shinji in just for money while keeping his basic needs at bare minimum #Kotone at the other hand lives with her aunt and rn i havent think about if her home condition is okay or nah #oh i know i will be so annoying about this HS AU to myself lol hsksosla #if you guys read this lol thank you for tolerating my annoying ass #also if you guys take this seriously lol pls dont this is just me being self indulgent and i get to be cringe whenever and whatever i want #asukaspeaker #persona 3 headcanons #persona 3 #shinjiro aragaki #kotone shiomi #shinjiham #akihiko sanada #persona 3 headcanon #00s highschool au

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away-ward · 5 months

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Hey ko! I was the anon who talked to you about my opinion of nightfall around two weeks ago ask & ans 256? Anyway, i dont think i have anything much to reply to your answer, i agree with a lot of things you said. And i actually read the bonus rikabanks and wtf? 🤮 i shouldve listened to you!!!!! Wtf? Why do i feel like dn series dont have any couples that will stay together for the rest of their lives? Like? Tbh, i wasnt feeling alexaydin, willemmy was on thin ass because of that bitchass will grayson, kaibanks too on thin ice because of kai fuck that guy- conclave, then michaelrika is so stale? Ngl, they got that sexual tension, but what else?

Unpopular opinion, i actually dont dislike any fmcs in this series except for winter, even rika, i just dont feel much about her tbh. It's insufferable to see these men and women going after her bland ass, but hey wtv. My least fav though would 100% be winter. alex was my #1 hated, but winter was my #1 disliked fmc in the series, but still my dislike for her is lower than any hatred i have for the horsemen tbh. I think it's because both of alex and winter are jjst such self righteous hypocrites, will and kai got on my nerves for the same reason too. when they fucked up, they love to play victim too much, and blame everybody as if their hands are not just dirty. winter's character is just being a useless tool, to be damon's muse and before anyone come after me, winter was not boring because shes blind at all. It's her lack of presence outisde of damon, and her personlity. In general, damonwinter is unlikeable to me. Shes just there, she didnt make any impact to her OWN love story and i hate it, feels like only damon was yearning, and i dont even like damon. Like AT ALL. I fucking hate him, and still think he deserves better than winter tbh.

Funny how out of the four main couples, i actually rooted for damonwinter the least. Even in conclave and fire night, it was always damon taking initiatives, and i hate it, i dont like winter because of this. I dont understand how od got the chance to write a bomb ass character who's disabled and write someone naive, guillible, self righteous, weak, whiny and slut-shaming, like winter. Granted other characters did too, but the way she was described as pure and good but doesnt match up to how she actually was, i was disappointed. theyre the least not romantic to me, besides kaibanks (but kaibanks was because pd didnt know how to write them, and busy putting damon in their story. Outisde of those factors, they got chemistry). I want fmc and mmc to be obsessed and be yearning and work for each other. Damonwinter was giving nothing, because winter made it feel like a reluctant group project, but hey looking at goodreads reviews tell me that maybe its just me. I was so disappointed because everyone was like "you gota keep pushing corruot and hideaway for damonwinter" then when i read it, i was like "huh, why was winter like THAT?" She was so fucking self righteous and annoying. Like she dont gotta a brain or something? Like? Even rika wasnt this gullible. I mean rika WAS very gullible but there was a lot of situations we read where she was only like that because she chose to put it past her since her only aim in corrupt was michael michael michael. As she grew, even though she was still a lot unnecessary, she wasnt insufferable on purpose, but because pd wrote her to be one. Rika's character assassination was not because of herself, but because of pd's writing. Like damon said, half dumb half smart. But winters character was straight dumb. I feel like it's due to bad writing AND her character was born to fluff damon up. Like winter Was so damn stupid, i had to take a break when i read her pov.sometimes stupid? Thats fine, everyone does that in the series (except for the horsemen) but almost all the time? Girl, what? Interesting how damon really always find interest in dumb fmcs, but then he also admitted that thats his personality type, literally the ditzy blonde ones, so hey, maybe misogyny IS the big turn on for these "heroes" huh?

and another thing that i wanna touch on: purity culture of this series. Ohmy fucking god, it was so icky!!!!! Made me hate damonwinter even more. No because why did nobody gave this a trigger warning? I didnt know this going into the series!!!!! Ohmygod! Like for real? Damon always talking about how young and pure the people around him? I get it. Trauma. But goddamn, he romanticised it all the time and never grew out of it! I cannot stand His povs!!! Talking about rika like that, then treating banks like that and touching her ass ohmygod it traumatised me, then babying will and acting like he's a baby, then winter about her young thighs, ruining her and shit like ughhh 🤮 and innocent sleeping winter like she was 12 🤮 like whats with the purity-obsessed with these characters? Rika when she said alex was the purest? Huh? theyre both such dumb no-thoughts-but-only-dicks besties for real. Theyre always so embarrassing together, so shallow, i hate it!! But pd has never had a talent to write good female relationships either, her birthday girl book and fall away series are always fmcs fighting and putting other women down. But she always write all these men bonding with each other and having the best kinds of support system. I hate it!!! Anyway, back to the purity topic, ugh, did you notice this too? I always throw up in my mouth a lil when damon went into emmy's shower stall and talked about will like that, it's so predatory (which again, i know trauma, but idgaf) and weird ughhhhh. But people esepcially willdamon shippers always go awww 🥹 but theyre also damonwinter lovers so i guess purity is really their kink? Idk idc, you like what you like but it still traumatised me!!!! Thank god in emmy's pov i dont have to read much about purity and misogyny. Ughhhhhhh. Like 6 books in the series, and only in nightfall we see the fmc being mostly good to other women, and not the other way around only ughhhhhh. Maybe this was why alex was mad at emmy, among many other possible reasons than jealousy? Because emmy was her first female friend in the group who didnt start her relationship with alex being shit or judging to her from the start? And after everything still good to her? Because shes not to sincerely supportive female friendship like this? Or am i reaching? Because i remember alex's relationship with rika, banks and winter were rocky at first, not like theres a big fight or anything, but their men always use her to pit against their women and their women always looks down on her? Maybe not winter because she didnt know but damon was still implying that alex was only a side hoe. Idk, have you discussed this point here before? I think it's interesting how bare minimum it was, but thank fucking god for emmy for this. I wished she was bitchier and didnt have to always be so kind to people like this, they just always walk all over her while her bitchass guy grayson stood there like a dumbo, never fight for anything. Ughhhhhhh im pissed!!

i think that's the only thing i got in mind after ask and answ 256.

anyway,

and i just read your conversation with anon about emory's lack of background and ohmygod, it just came to mind that wow, emory's back story is really the most mysterious, huh? And not in a good way, but in a bad author-really-dgaf way. Like, damn? We really dont know much about emory? I'd like to think she dated and all, but the relationships were not impactful enough to change nightfall. But i still dont understand, why tf does pd's mmc always be so obsessed of being overly fond of other women in their story? Like? Will and alex? Why is pd always so obsessed with this? But the women always stay virgin or not a hoe, again, pure! Ughhhhh purity!! Men can have fuck buddies and girl bff (kai, will) but girls got called out and lashed out for being close to men while their men didnt give a fuck about how they feel (kai with damon, lev and david and prety much any men in banks vicinity, wil with damon, aydin and any men emmy hooked up with while being #1 whore himself). The hypocrisy and double standard!!!! Adding another reason in my list to hate kai and will. No bcs it's easy to hate characters like michael, damon and aydin from the get go because theyre shit and they know it. But hypocrites like kai and will? They always get babied by female readers and i hate it!!!! Cant pd write just one book with fmc who's not a pure virgin with big bad sccary guy who treats her like shit? Ughhhhhhh did i say how much i hate the purity concept in her stories?

Now, another one that i got angry about after thinking about emory's lack of background story: pd had the time to make up that Aaron Palmer Fane name for Rika's baby, combining alex and will's name, and the middle name of Torrin (girl version of torrance) for one of willemmy's daughter, and Fane for damon's son, but she can't give the same energy for emmy's story, and banks' closure? Like those babies literally only came not until later, but they got their spotlights? I'm so pissed off! Uggghhhh like if pd was so obsessed with alex and will, why cant they just write them together? This is the case where authors wrote too much of unnecessary side characters and fans start siding with them instead of the fmcs. And then pd's say shit like "oh i planned this, you just dont understand". No her writing and planning was just whack, period. She shoudve hyped up emmy from the start in every single book. For one fact about alex, give emmy 3-4 extras. How the hell do you even plan your stories like this? Who's the main character now, im so angry! We literally got a scene of alex and will on a bike, but not willemmy? Got a scene of alex in willemmy's bed, but not willemmy hanging out? Even their godzilla movie date after was glossed over. Dont even mention the cove burning scene. Unpopular opinion, I understand the point of her being locked up and will's thought of it, but again, why is alex with him? Ughhhhhhhh im angry!!!!!!! And why the fuck is will so fucking bad at setting boundaries? And when willemmy talked in the carfax room, they prob did talk about boundaries, no? So why no scenes of that? Because pd didnt find that interesting? But will giving alex's cheek a sloppy kiss at the cove, howling like dogs and looking into each others eyes saying theyre mirrors are interesting? Interesting to whom? Ughhhh

another thing, i read on goodreads/ pd's website that the characters' birthdate were never something that she thought too much off until the story got published them and fans asked for them. Huh, what a great planner! Like at this point, i dont believe that shes a great planner at all. And i cannot unsee it but i feel like pd and damon are similar in the sense that what goes on in their doesnt match reality, thats why their rationale are stupid. Description doesnt match anything. Like?? It made me feel a bit disrespected as a reader because she kept on writing a but i felt gaslighted if i felt b, then her fans will attack me and say im dumb because i didnt believe a. Like why are you angry at me? Tell pd to write properly ten, how is it my fall, if im not the only reader who had this problem with her writing? Anyway, i guess No wonder banks' age doesnt make any sense, but then she doesnt give a fuck about banks as much either other than always making her self worth about men around her- damon, kai and gabriel. Idk, if i thinkabout all the way pd messed up hideaway and banks character, that'll be a whole other long rant that nobody probably gaf about, but me.

Tbh i really dont remember where i heard this but hideaway was actually her hardest book to write because corrupt was supposed to be a standalone, so she had to think of how kai and banks would work. So dont take my word for it!! But i can see why hideaway was like THAT. i guess by nightfall, she just wanted to end it. I mean she did took feedback to lessen alex's presence in fire night, thank god! And i remember one of her goodreads questions about having more diverse fmcs and pd said she couldnt because of banks' character and who she was related Too and tbh idek what to make of this, because i just read the extra on her site of banks stalking michael rika kai in the valentines extra, and that LITERALLY couldve been the prologue hideaway or epilogue for corrupt. Uggghh and not the epilogue of hideaway being damon pissing? Ughhhhhh i hate himmmm.

excuse me ko, i sound so hateful and whiny here but i only react to this to bad soap operas, because only bad soap kperas can me invested in their shitty stories like this. Im so angry but so invested? Idk but i think people who are still in the fandom are tough readers, because after my anger subside, i think i wont be touching this series again for real, these characters, these books, these stories and this author just make me angry!!! How do yall stay sane here. Your fanfics are one of the reason i like willemmy in an au. No but seriously, theyre so fun to read! I really appreciate the fanfics you put out for free, and all the games and fan things you do on your blogs! And unexpectedly, i didnt know i need that banks emmy hollow fic! Thank you for that female characters bonding 🥰

if you have any happy books or shows that i can watch with no angst or bullying, please do send my way 🥹🫶 i think i need a cleanse from this series

Heyyyy! I’m so happy you're b-ohhh…

And i actually read the bonus rikabanks and wtf? 🤮 i shouldve listened to you!!!!! Wtf?

Well. What can I say? Sometimes curiosity gets the better of you. Looks like you did the same thing a lot of us did: go looking for all the bonus material only to realize it doesn’t get better; it only gets worse. To this day, the only one I return to is the Hideaway deleted scene with Will. Does so much for my willemmy heart.

Why do i feel like dn series dont have any couples that will stay together for the rest of their lives?

You’re not the first to say that. Personally, I feel that these people will live the rest of their lives together, die together, and be buried together if only because no one else will put up with them (probably all at the same time if Damon gets any control, and knowing PD…)

(…am I implying that Damon will plan a murder/suicide plot, killing his wife and best friends when they reach age 80, because he can’t stand the idea of living without them, or them he? possibly.)

My least fav though would 100% be winter.

Your rant about Winter and purity cultural got me thinking a little bit. The majority of readers like to give Emmy multiple boyfriends and hook ups in her time away (I’m in the minority but that's for another time), but I truly feel that it would have given Winter’s character much more legitimacy if she was the one having hook ups.

Like, Rika’s history makes sense given how the Crist family was controlling and manipulating her.

And Banks’ virginity can be played as more of a power move. She grew up around men who treated women like toys, constantly being reminded that there’s a thin line between her and them. Her choice not to let them have access to her body, even if she had found someone other than Kai, gives her autonomy. She has the lock and key, no one else, not even Damon. It works for her character and situation.

But Winter? She was so angry with Damon after the truth came out. Not to mention, he opened her up to experiences she didn’t have before, but were suddenly taken away from her. It would have made so much sense if she had gone out and tried to erase him, tried to replace him, tried to capture whatever it was she felt in his arms with someone else, only to discover that it doesn’t work. No one else can do what Damon does for her, and she hates herself for it. Him too.

Even if she’s a little ashamed of herself, because she’s coming out of this “purity cultural” mindset, it’s fine. If she had multiple partners before her second chance with Damon, her knowing that it he’s the only one that she “works” with makes a lot more sense plot-wise. They’re messed up, but they’re messed up in similar ways, and that’s why it can’t be anyone else. Maybe that would have given Winter a bit more substance as a character, outside of being Damon’s soother. But what do you think?

and another thing that i wanna touch on: purity culture of this series.

You asked if I noticed it, and to be honest, on my first read, I didn’t. But this leads into another idea I’ve been thinking about lately, which is mostly unrelated except for the way my mind connected them.

I’ve watched a few youtube videos on how booktok and the like are promoting books, and why some of those books are just not good despite all the hype. And one person (can’t remember which video, but I’m sure this is not their opinion alone), suggested that part of the problem is the tropification of books.

Now, this doesn’t bother me. Knowing the tropes of books will get me to read the summary and then I decide from there. But that’s because I was raised on fanfiction. I didn’t have a lot of money growing up, and the library was not always easy to get to. But fanfiction was free and at my computer, and easy to access. Which means I was also exposed to all of the terms and phrases frequently used in dark romance (along with a lot of other obvious signs of lazy and cheap writing) and learned to ignore.

So the popularizing of features you’d normally only see if fanfiction/fandom spaces makes sense, because the people who were in fandom spaces when I was a teenager are now adults with money who decide what’s popular and what’s not; and therefore what gets published and picked up (and this isn't anything new, really. I think a bigger part of this is just that it's the natural evolution of the bodice rippers from years past).

And putting these thoughts together, I realized I read DN as if it were a mid-tier fanfic. I think it was written about as well a fanfic. Not that it was once FF and then turned into original fiction, like so many today. Just that it has the same level of skill and editing quality as a really good but not great, fanfic. That may be why I’m not as angry as other readers? And also why a lot of the more problematic issues went over my head? It’s the same things you overlooked to get some decently written work on ffn or ao3. Sometimes, you just had to put on your “no thoughts; just here for a good time” helmet and go.

I could be completely off on this. It’s a new idea I haven’t fully worked through, but might possibly have some merit.

That being said, it was very popular when I was a teenager – and given how hyped books with these features are today, I’m sure still is – to have a oversized, brooding, sometimes bloody MLI be totally whipped for the good girl, never seen a naked man without blushing, “he's going to ruin me and I'm going to let him,” FLI. Later, readers started calling for more empowered female characters. And some writers understood the assignment and some didn’t. PD seems to have tried to combined the two, with less than effective results.

And this goes back to my point about Winter. It’s not that this idea of “purity” doesn’t have its place, it’s how it’s used and what it says about the characters who are using it.

If Banks was a virgin by choice well into her 20s, good for her. That's a power move.

If Damon had to let go of this idea that Winter was only meant for him, of this “pure as freshly fallen snow”, and to see her worth despite it, it would have been good development.

But I think we both know that Banks being a virgin and Damon having those thoughts about Winter were not meant for character but because that’s what some readers find hot. Which is why it’s one, not enjoyable for all; and two, went straight over my head. What other people find hot has nothing to do with me. I’m still here for the character development (that never happened! I’m clearly madder about that).

But pd has never had a talent to write good female relationships either, her birthday girl book and fall away series are always fmcs fighting and putting other women down.

I tried reading bully but I don’t remember much from it. But to your point, I don’t understand why PD seems to always want women to fight, as if that’s the way to show their empowered. Like above, when readers started calling for stronger female characters, some writers took that to mean they wanted physically strong characters – which in some cases is legitimate. But it was soon made clear that that’s not what was asked for.

It seems that PD only finds female characters interesting if they’re willing to physically fight another woman because that shows…? Actually, I’m unclear what it shows, exactly. I would have loved if the girls in this story weren’t copy/paste versions of one another; if the things that made them strong was different and yet just as valid.

For example, if it was Rika’s capacity for forgiveness tempered with her growing backbone and refusal to be treated like a doormat was emphasized as what made her strong, and not her fencing/martial arts/willingness to hurt others.

If Winter had unmatched mental fortitude. I mean, come on, the girl still dances after going blind. She has resiliency. Why is she so weak when Damon’s not around? Why does she need Damon to tell her to raise her voice.

If Emory’s emphasized strength was her kindness despite her suffering, and not her ability to walk away from good things and endure massive amounts pain, which we see is mostly physical.

Again, for the most part, those are all good qualities, but usually it’s only the physical strength and willingness to use it that’s emphasized more than any other trait. And ruins them because them you have to make them be angry enough to physically fight, or want to, when these girls should be supporting each other.

I left Banks out above because her being able to physically fight is one of her more important features, and should be allowed to shine through. If the other girl’s abilities were scaled back, Banks being able to do what she does, having learned how to survive in Gabriel’s house, would have just been more outstanding.

It just goes back to having good female relationships means having a variety of women and a love of different types of personalities. I’m struggling to see PD truly enjoying characters, and more enjoying just certain plots and character traits. I think one thing that is clear is that PD is not the writer for me. Which is fine.

Maybe this was why alex was mad at emmy, among many other possible reasons than jealousy? Because emmy was her first female friend in the group who didnt start her relationship with alex being shit or judging to her from the start? And after everything still good to her? Because shes not to sincerely supportive female friendship like this? Or am i reaching?

It doesn’t really matter if you’re reaching, you’re in a fandom space now. Run with it!

I like the idea that Alex and Emmy’s relationship is unique because Emmy was the first girl to not judge her (and of all the girls, Emmy has the biggest reason to, but because she’s Emmy, all she wants if for Will to be happy). It would have been great if we could have seen Alex struggling with wanting to be Emory’s friend because of the kindness shown her, and wanting to protect Will from further hurt, which only Emmy had the ability to do. Alex wanting to be friends with both, but having to pick one because they’re on opposite sides of an issue is a real problem.

But there’s some arguing that idea because Alex left Emory exposed, and then said it’s partly because she wanted to see Emory and Will interacted. What were they, her little experiment?

There were a lot of ways that the Alex/Emory/Will issue could have been played that would have address their real issues without pitting Alex and Emory against each other the way they were, but then PD seems to love it when the girls fight, then kiss and make up.

Cant pd write just one book with fmc who's not a pure virgin with big bad sccary guy who treats her like shit?

Doesn’t PD’s new series feature this? Someone else will have to check, but I’m pretty sure. But I can’t vouch for how the mc treats the fmc.

pd had the time to make up that Aaron Palmer Fane name for Rika's baby, combining alex and will's name, and the middle name of Torrin….

This is not something I’ve discussed before but I hate PDs naming trend. What is the obsession with Fane?

Madden? Cool. Jett, nice. Indie? Would have loved if her middle name was actually Jones, because that would have been sooooo Willemmy, but I’m still hoping (stupidly) that Aspen has some real inspiration and not that they opened up a baby name book and picked the first name they saw.

But are we really surprised that the most thought when into how Rika and Damon named their kids?

Aaron Palmer – isn’t that a drink…wait, no. that’s Arnold Palmer.

Athos? An eight-year-old named herself after one of the three musketeers and where supposed to think that's cool and not totally contrived (and am I the only one who thinks it’s weird that Athos being eight technically means she was born when Rika was sixteen, which is when Corrupt first takes place…which kinda means that Michael and Rika sort of retroactively become teenage parents, as if Michael hadn’t let Rika leave that night? Like I wouldn’t be surprised if it was revealed that Athos’ birthday is in July - nine months after devil’s night.).

Dag??? Take Damon’s ability to name things away from him.

She shoudve hyped up emmy from the start in every single book. For one fact about alex, give emmy 3-4 extras.

Absolutely!!! That's so real. I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it again, but Emory should have haunted Will the entire series. One hint in each book was not enough to sell how bad Will was truly affected by her. And if we had been given more hints, I think the shipping war probably wouldn’t have been so bad. Overall, we just needed more of Emmy’s presence throughout the series, even if she wasn’t on the page, to be really hyped for Willemmy.

The way the idea of reading Nightfall and then going back through the series and seeing where Will was most affected by her grips me, and we never got that. ugghgh.

another thing, i read on goodreads/ pd's website that the characters' birthdate were never something that she thought too much off until the story got published them and fans asked for them.

Please don’t get me started on the birthdays/timeline. I’ve been through enough.

Idk, if i thinkabout all the way pd messed up hideaway and banks character, that'll be a whole other long rant that nobody probably gaf about, but me.

I can name like two or three blogs that would love to hear your rant. Come on, don't keep them to yourself. Share.

Idk but i think people who are still in the fandom are tough readers, because after my anger subside, i think i wont be touching this series again for real, these characters, these books, these stories and this author just make me angry!!! How do yall stay sane here.

Too true. Like I said above, I wasn’t as angry as a lot of other readers, but I mourned the lost potential. I kept reading because of Emmy, and high (too high) expectations for what this could turn into and it never went in that direction.

The mourning led to ranting with a friend, which led to me writing fics to answer the questions I had and fill in the gaps, and try to capture some of that potential. But otherwise, I wouldn’t be here. The asks keep me around. The games fill in the time between the asks, and honestly, to try and help make some of it a little better. It’s fun to play with the idealized versions of the characters in my head. This is actually a great group dynamic and if PD would let them be friends instead of trying to find away that everyone can sleep with everyone despite the fact they made their favs related, I think we could have some fun.

There are good things here, and I believe one day a talented enough artist or writer will come along and tap on that potential. Until then, we keep trying to find the joy in what’s left.

Your fanfics are one of the reason i like willemmy in an au. No but seriously, theyre so fun to read! I really appreciate the fanfics you put out for free, and all the games and fan things you do on your blogs! And unexpectedly, i didnt know i need that banks emmy hollow fic! Thank you for that female characters bonding 🥰

Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much! Hollow was definitely a response to the scene I warned you not to read, and while I know the characters aren’t perfect replicas of PD’s, I needed it too. Just happy they can bring some joy to others like they helped me.

Um.. I am horrible with recommendations. I tend to read and watch the same things over and over again. I don’t have a lot of time to read, so it takes me forever to get through things, and then I don’t remember books by their tropes; just how they made me feel. Which is why even badly written things stick with me if I enjoyed myself.

I understand if you have no intentions of touching this series again (you mentioned before how goodreads reviews were saying you just need to get through corrupt and hideaway to get to kill switch, which is so opposite of what I tell readers. If you can’t stand corrupt, quit while you’re ahead), but to catch any of the books or shows I’m into, you’d just have to hang around, unfortunately. No pressure, though. Move on to brighter places if DN talk just doesn’t work for you. Make your fandom places fun.

Thanks for coming back! And thank you for your thoughts. I enjoyed them.

#asked and answered 276 #asked and answered #devil's night series #series discussion #series rant #emory scott #no alex tag #winter ashby #damon torrance #sec gen

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sickknotdoom · 6 months

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i speed read through volume 4 today to catch up after forgetting to do so for a while, and even if it's not done yet im ngl this might be the worst volume to me by far. i can't fully put my finger on it but something about the writing just feels incredibly childish and stilted. the way they built this volume up made it seem like a big turning point for uni, but it just feels so...flat? reading it didn't feel fun like the previous arcs did

i think they hyped it up because its so heavily focused on barruni. i was deadass expecting this to be the volume where uni comes out or some shit but theres only really like........ one actually hard hitting scene (the one where uni self deprecates in the closet or some shit) (which by the way Wouldve Been The Perfect Point For Her To Come Out???????? especially with the "They Dont Know Who You Are" thing but whatever) but no its just barruni fanservice. it feels so flat both visually and writing wise. but you know what they say. if were at rock bottom we can only go up........ i think

i heard from others that putting the word sp*rklec*re in my posts makes it appear on the main tag, which results in white knights finding my shit & send their hatemail, hence why ive been avoiding using it/putting that dumb*ss st*r whenever i do. please dont tell me i have to censor b*rruni too

#.txt

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wifiwuxians · 8 months

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quick aside for my moment of befuddlement because ive always misunderstood the idiom "like a house on fire" LOL. i always thought it was a passive aggressive way of saying "dude, we would destroy each other lets not talk" so when i first read that I was like ??? context??? doesnt match??? did they misunderstand the idiom? DID I? then i googled it and you're right lol its a nice thing. (tho now i wanna put that in a fic bc i think that would be a delightful misunderstanding for characters to have). IM SO GLAD I MADE UR FUNK SLIGHTLY LESS FUNKY THO. you're great and you're super sweet ;w; if i had more self-confidence, i would definitely jump at the opportunity to befriend. maybe when i get more gutsy

BACK TO THE SONG LAN HATE THO. im sorry, im still in shock. just HOW. also..... how is my interpretation of them not the common one??? again, i stay so strictly to my lane i didnt know other lanes existed and i definitely dont want to hear about it bc i think song lan hate would hurt my heart. it already hurts my heart sometimes when i see xue yang hate and XUE YANG DESERVES IT. literally i despair at media literacy sometimes. i absolutely cannot understand how anyone consumed the same content as we did and decided to be mean to song lan.

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY A FAVORITE ARTIST, DUDE. have you fucking SEEN your stuff?!? like, are you as blind as xiao xingchen? (my sweetie, may he forever regain his sight). your art is GORGEOUS. absolutely worthy of being a fav artist and i am sure im not the only one. for starters, your pieces always have a depth to them that sets them in a scene so freaking beautifully EVEN WHEN THERES NO BG or even in your more simplified styles. when you come out with a "silly phone doodle of xue yang", i see the freaking SKILL needed to make THAT adorable lil gremlin as just a 'silly doodle'. like BRO, youre so skilled that i think youve lost depth of how good an artist you really are. i wish i was smarter with art words so i could tell you in color theory exactly why your colors are so beautiful but im dumb and all i know is "color pretty" BUT SINCE I CAN PORTRAY STUFF WITH WORDS SOMETIMES i'll try to just express how your colors alone can evoke emotion and tell a story, how you use the contrast to make your art pop off the page, the way that the colors caress a scene and show so much more inside. its beautiful, your art is beautiful, i can look at a piece for such a long time and still find interesting details that make me smile. oki i'll stop beng weird now but like NEVER DOUBT YOU'RE FREAKING SKILL BRO. (shit i didnt even get to how your animations just break my brain oeuihgo i love)

lolololol dw abt telling me about the cannibalisms piece, i look Specifically disrespectfully at that one. not big into cannibalism but damn dude, there is a Mood to that piece and frankly, something that messed up sort of suits them on their worst days euorhgioeurh i like me a fluff au or a fix-it fic but damn those two can get Dark.

My otps are often rarepairs ;A; i never do it on purpose, im normally jumping headfirst into a more popular ship but then i just See the potential in two other lil guys and im like.... holdup, wait is no one else seeing those two??? AM I THE ONLY ONE WITNESSING THIS? (yes, yes i am). And the hyperfixation begins and its just me alone at a bar with no bartenders so i make my own food. but im a weird lil guy so my cocktails are always strange and im alone at the bar lol. tbh songxue is one of my LESS rarepair rarepairs. like... theres actually fics that i didnt write for them LOL. (there was one fandom where there were 40 fics for a ship and i wrote all 40. i am a sad and lonely lil loser lol)

(scuse me one of my fav artists said they think i'd write my otp well, i can die happy oaierhgoeirh i actually do write ff for songxue but hahaha im still just a silly anon but its rlly good to know that the person i think characterizes them best in the fandom (that ive seen) thinks i would do a good job with them aoeghuihr thankyou for the high praise, i guarantee i dont deserve it)

(sometimes i've wondered if the reason you draw/write them so well is bc you dont ship them? weird take but like, shippers have shipping goggles right? we see what we wanna see a lot of the time. but since you just think they'd be neat standing next to each other (much agree), you actually put thought into their characterizations and personality instead of just "this is how they'd F*CK" or smth similar. and bc the personalities and stuff mean way more to me than sexy stuff (thats the whole reason i ship them! their personalities!) the fact that even your crack stuff has such a good basis in who they are as people makes your content just so good. whereas sometimes i see content by shippers (no disrespect meant, everyone ships in their own way), its very actively ooc, usually for a kink fill, and im just... but what abt their personalities? what abt the whole reason i think they'd be good together if given the chance?! WHAT ABOUT THEM? and then u come around drawing them like that and i just wish more people portrayed them the way you do. this isnt meant as like an anti-smut thing, i like smut, its just that sometimes pwp is just two strangers who happen to have the character names of my blorbos and literally nothing else in common and theyre my BLORBOS. more power to people who like that stuff, i will stay in my lane and bother this poor lovely person who doesnt even like the ship but is kind enough to see their potential to be pals cuz damn im in it for the emotions)

heh heh yeah it means we'd get along well but i like that interpretation too and think it would make a great story!! here's to you becoming more gutsy! (though again you're very free to use an alt or something!)

genuinely why i don't go looking lmao... song lan fans are so fucking strong to have to deal with the shit people have said BUT nowadays the climate seems to be a lot better :D i see lots of thirst for him at least KFHKDJ and my appreciation post of him has 800 notes so that's hopeful at least! but same i don't get it at all (though honestly i will say a lot of character hate stems from shipping. legit.) but yeah regarding xy hate for me it's gotta be for the "right" reasons LMAO

LJHLFHFD ALL THE COMPLIMENTS MY BRAIN CANT TAKE EM!!!! genuinely!!! THANK YOU!!!! i do often tell myself 'your stuff doesn't have to be perfect it just has to spark joy' to feel better about not rendering a piece to hell and back and mostly taking the lazy route, though this year i really wanna branch out and try more! but all of this has shot me in the heart... emotion to me is the most important part of art, and one of my favorite responses to get is laughter, and you don't need a 4K HD piece for that haha BUT LISTEN YOURE NOT WEIRD EVERY ARTIST I KNOW WOULD KILL TO HEAR THIS im gonna frame it. but after ive printed and eaten another copy like wow you think i set the scene ;_; will cry (agsjdhf sorry i really do read everything im just. PROCESSING!!!)

ahaha yeah for sure! i do love me some cannibalism (i am the cannibal friend) but absolutely that was just intended as a very dark place. song lan has Had it (the premise was xy thinking hey, he likes me, let me remove the nails i am sure everything will be fineOHNOOO)

oh dude i have chronic rarepair disease. most of what i ship is stuff i've come up with myself so any content is me + 2 souls maximum who i have managed to drag with me and make content KSGKFJ (case in point, xuechao) i just have this compulsion to do what nobody else has done

(you do deserve it! and dont go looking i wanna keep being the one who portrays them best :p)

and hey maybe because YES!!!! my work almost exclusively stems from personality oh my god thank you for acknowledging that i think that is the highest praise of all... how their personalities gel together is SUPER important for me, shipping or otherwise!! i'm telling you you and i would get along really well since we agree on the fundamentals i think! like yeah there's nothing wrong with some good old self indulgence but ooc takes me out of stuff a fair bit, and trust me i feel like most people would think MY stuff is ooc! but the thing about the strangers with blorbo names made me laugh so hard lhKDHJAfhsg i am so guilty of that in the past, i've read my old stuff and i'm just like damn. i just projected onto these dudes. NO MORE (it is bound to still happen privately but hey, ultimately, write what you want to read)

song lan and xue yang, in the 'if given the chance' realm, have exactly my favorite type of duo dynamism which is why i cannot stop drawing them lol like some funky spin on boke/tsukkomi... generally speaking ">:D -_-" is visually my favorite thing to draw haha and again! i wanna say it's not an all-out global dislike, i just a) understand most people are NOT coming at it from where i am so it doesn't interest me/makes me sad, and B) understand WHY people wouldn't be into it. because wow. um. ouch. that sure is some shit

i am gonna take a moment to plug an author i think you might really enjoy, pomegranites on ao3 (@pometogo on here!) ! i can't speak for Every flavor in there being to your tastes but there are definitely a fair few fics that made me bonkers, namely not easily let go, written for song lan love week :D

#long post #shin dont look #jic #who AM I i never do fic recs LOL #the fic i linked i treat it as a twin soul to your hands and mine #<- if you havent read this one pls. anyone seeing this. your hands and mine gotnocents ao3 thank yuo

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mabeysomeclasspecting · 1 year

Note

You're still doing requests? Awesome! Can you classpect mine 🥺 no need to rush with it ofc, pace yourself! Uhh, lets see.

1. What are your interests/hobbies?

i have a lot of interests but if i have to put a pin on them, its always about exploring something new. watching a mysterious internet arg, writing down worldbuilding ideas, getting myself lost because my hometown start to get too samey, exploring abandoned buildings, and watching plays and backyard gigs. which is ironic because i live in a small-ish town, there is not much excitement or exploration to be done in here, but i make do. other interests of mine would be music. i like music that are weird, distorted, and just off. i love it when the rhythm is a discordant mess. however, just because i seem to go out a lot doesnt mean im the social type. i mean, i try to be, i kinda have to get used to keeping secrets and doing things all alone to get some freedom / agency in life.

2. How Do You See Yourself?

Honestly it depends on which character i latched on to that week. I dont really care for having an internal self. Whatever serves what i want best is my current self. But, turns out im not that good as a social chameleon. So, one thing I can recognize about myself is i don't quit and give up on things even when I should. When I want things, I might not be very motivated to get it, but I'll always work on it no matter how long it takes or how many times it has failed. Oftentimes I worry that im too slow and that no matter how much patience and devotion i have to my wants, I just dont have enough energy to actually get it. Or i'll end up ruining myself in the process.

3. How do you think others see you

Unforgettable. Striking. strange and offputting. Acquaintaces say im okay but a little aloof/strange. My family say i work hard but i have no sense of self preservation, tbh i think theyre biased. My friends think im smart and a little impressive. But closest besties, despite my best efforts, see that i used to be super sheltered and inexperienced in social settings. its terrible!

4. How do you interact with your friends?

Hm, depends on what kind of friends. if theyre the hangout friend, i'll just sit back and occasionally make them laugh with my dumb antics and give out some trivias to make things fun and easy. If theyre the deep conversation friend, i would try to impress them with how much i know. its overcompensating i know.

Its not all roses with me though. Some of my friends did say i can be unsympathetic to their problems. which is surprising to them because they thought im nice. i didnt mean it, i guess i just dont get why people just lament instead of finding a solution. its so... helpless. i dont want to be my younger self who let himself get trapped in his own house and miss out on so much life because theyre too afraid to act. so why people do nothing but feel sad when awful things happen is beyond me. And that comes out harsh when people are used to my lighthearted, easygoing self.

5. What's Important To You

I need to feel good about myself. And that's very much reliant on me working for my dreams. Not some escapism or fantasy. I also want change, a kinder world, justice. I want everyone to get whats been stolen from them. However, I spent so much time and wasted so many opportunities because of that dream, it almost feel like its holding me back from permanently feeling good for myself. but when i think about it, im not angry or disappointed. I like to see the silver lining in everything i guess. but there's limits to this. Yknow the phrase "fighting the good fight?" i think, its not enough to fight, you have to win, no matter how many rules you break or how many things become collateral damage. doesnt matter if youre in the right side of history or how many times you prove bigots wrong if you keep losing and dying. and thats a matter of action and bravery, not morals.

6. Describe the ideal you, what kind of person do you strive to be?

Impressive. Capable and competent at everything. Scares people but in a good way. Get shit done. Have sick-ass tattoos, have lots of friends, Can be relied on for everything. And have traveled to so many places and get so many extraordinary experiences.

(note : i wanted to send you an ask a few months ago, but there was a sudden blackout in my area right after i hit send. pretty sure its gone to the void! but just to make sure, if you see an ask thats similar in content to this (i remember saying i like internet horror, args, music, and urban exploration!) its probably mine! you dont have to answer that)

and my signoff emojis : 🫧🌪️

Hello! I definitely think that ask got lost, but I'm happy to classpect you now :)

Aspects: Breath, Heart, Time

Classes: Prince, Thief, Maid

You seem like a solid Prince of Breath to me! I feel pretty certain, but play around with those other ones if that doesn't feel right

Hope this helps!

#classpecting #classpect #asks #anon #prince of breath #breath #prince #requests #homestuck

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imsociallyanxiousgetoverit · 2 years

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Im finally watching The Owl House instead of just seeing spoilers on Tumblr so Im gonna live-post my reactions cuz Holy shit do I have some things to say right now-

1. Camila sounds nothing like I imagined

2. LUZ DONT THROW BOOKS AWAY WHAT THE FUCK

3. Eda sounds nothing like I thought????

4. Luz… baby… you didn’t see the door with a giant eye and- ya know what- not worth it

5. Why is Eda not sus about a human? I am definitely missing something

6. Is Alex Hirsch the voice for the guard?

7. Why hand come off?????

8. Luz is self aware. This is good.

9. HOOTY??????? THE FUCK????

10. Luz! Don’t just grab people and creatures!

11. Wait- have I been mispronouncing Luz’ name? I thought it was Luhz not Looz

12. Eda! Blackmail and manipulation isn’t cool!

13. by the way both Earth and Boiling Isles conforming places are so disgusting like the fuck

14. Luz I love you and im concerned by your lax reaction to this new world

15. the warden is disgusting

16. h- thats not how physics work??? how are the doors opening???

17. Eda you’re great for protecting the child first

18. Luz is so cool for rebellion tho

Done! I think Im gonna rewatch each episode again when I don’t pay attention enough so I can write these. Hard to remember my questions if I pay attention too hard but ya know I wanna express how I feel too

1. wait these people are overreacting sometimes. the snakes and spiders? yeah absolutely valid to run. The sausages and eyelids???? Y’all overreacting. I mean the wasted food sucks but like its obviously just sausages guys. The eyelid thing is just something at least one kid does every year and its gross but not scream and run worthy. These people are so rude. At least the principal and Camila are concerned about Luz cuz of her seemingly not recognizing what is and isnt real vs just being dicks about her hobbies. It could be much worse in that way. Also Camila worrying about Luz’ lack of friends is good, too. Some kids do fine alone, but most really do need a support system other than family.

(ugh why is the next line down here thats so annoying)

2. Boiling Isles is like- lawless??? Clearly the warden gets away with his crazy arrests (kinda like Warden from Danny Phantom) cuz he’s just a dick. Like how is the guy selling person-eating icecream allowed but a fanfic writer isnt???? Like this is all clearly a reference to queerness cuz like fanfic doesn’t bother anyone else unless you see it out whilst that icecream could absolutely hurt some random civilian. The shit queer people used to and still get in trouble for with no valid reason- this also could be referencing race as well cuz it is disgusting how many POC are arrested or hurt due to plain racism rather than justice by law.

3. oh my godex I have been saying Luz’ name wrong! I thought it was Luhz! Is it Looz cuz its short for Lucida? Also the fact Eda thinks she’s clever for a human makes me worry everyone in Boiling Isles will think Luz is dumb just because of her species which is hella speciest and yeah im worried

4. ): giraffes are cool. Eda why

5. I kinda hate Hooty not gonna lie. Also ??? Eda why you leave your stuff outside ???

6. I just realized that the Conformitorium may actually be a proper prison that just has too many lax laws. Also how tf did does Luz open and close the door????

7. Luz’ willingness to just trust Eda is concerning. Also the BK crown is funny. Eda is a softie

8. oh the doors are opened normally itd just hurt ouch. Is the scene of them falling done by that Baxter dude cuz its kinda smooth af

9. I really hope Luz’ speech means something to kids and teens. It feels cringely bad to me but im also literally 20 so its not meant for me

10. Luz… you cant just offer up your services for ANYTHING! Standards! Boundaries! Her age is showing here. (what is her age? is she like 12?)

11. That photo thing is absolutely real. Some people think its a dramatic movie thing but Ive done it genuinely. Who had the sleeping bag? Eda or Luz? Also love her phone case. Cannot imagine sleeping without a blanket.

Properly done this time! I think I’ll watch the next one once through then ask questions though cuz this took far too long. Ill remember the questions eventually.

#the owl house #first reaction #episode 1 #uh #tw conversion camp mention #tw racism mention #I guess #oops im a bit too into analyzing stuff heh

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solardick · 1 month

Text

Find in mind.

Cards died. Resurrect in time, perhaps.

How am i supposed to

Too smoking while im serrounded by an rntire army of assholes fucken with my exixtance? Whole reason i started smokign in the forst place.

Why you you all go take a picture of your shit in the toilet anf then you can frame it on the wall and impresses all yo friends with how proud you ste to take such a massive dhit.

Instead of trying tp prove how united spsrklings yurds are. Tou gonna come harrass me with another girl. And then rape me some

More?

Terrible on tarots part. It lost that time. No new cards.

So, i dont know what to write about the cards. Save that for temperance letter R and letter 3. Incrementally. They belong together. Pooring water down from the sky. Water is essential. Same is said upwards.

On the russian side of things here. Letter Я. Not to say a mirrored image. For both belong seperatively. Apart from one another. This chosen as Waites sun card, to designate the hilghly biased Letter Ii. Not to be mistaken as Ll. As i’ve seen the hermit. Here would show as The man toiling the feild. To promote the ideal of one with nature. Or yet, to give it to the blacksmith. The ideal, and toil to forge the tools of productivity. To forging the self. Both belong to dedication.

What card did i give letter Bb? In this system card letter Ff is exchanged for Bv. Foreign system. Bbv all get jumbled. To tarot it was… the high priestess. But i gave her to number 3. As letter Cc. Which has its own foreign connection to letter Cs. Which happens to be the devil.

Chew that one over a while.

There’s no equivalent to a mirrored B. Thats forbidden. Top tier shit. The gamers ot that level. Dont like if things dont run smooth.

The high priestess here, comes from foreign land. It’s once removed, literally. 3C. She pictorially becomes the field he’s plowing.

But it looks like they fosed ne again. May nog go to work tomiriw again. Be out of work and. Ack to suicide. Lije i an right now. Dorry i havevto ho foghg for my life now sgain. For the N-th year in a row

And nobody deserves having their entire lives owned by other people. So they can fuck with it at leasure.

But, i like my cards. Olmost time to veeto my legs again. I also like having hairless legs. Im not a hairy guy. But the legs always bothered me. Saw a guy sitting there waiting for his appoitment. Wearing shorts riding up his thies. I was like “ewe”. One of my favorite parts of being with a girl. All those 20 years ago. Was the legs. Soft, smooth, could go down there hickey up the inner thy. Another part was when their tops were removed and they were standing infront of you and all you could see in your feild of vission. Were their bare shoulders riding below rosy cheeks. Mhn.

But apparently. According to others. Im a gay bashing homophobe who throws cats agaisnt walls for fun. How can you be a homophobe when you spent the first 13 years of your life sucking on cock. While tour family plays dumb. And introduces you to bands like Korn. Before you even know what their singing about. Then you grow out of it. Realise whta the fuck your doing. And stop. But all thise years. Bred addiction to the only positive source of feel good brain chemicals. Then you fall off the wagon a couple times and get your entire life destroyed by stupid fucken retards. And then over 26 years later tour still being raped by assholes.

What you an alchoholophobe. Dont want to deink this vodka?! Lets poor it doen yo throat. Well. Not really. Doesnt really compare. But. You get the jist. But ehat do you expect from a society that sells poison on every street corner. One stop shop of gassoline, ornohraphy, sugar, alchohol and cigarettes, from a society that sell turd toys for young children. ….. every child matters right? Bunch of bs that is.

If i ever have a kid. Not likely. They arent going to know what i tv is until they get to highschool. No no no. You’re not going to be in this pot of spectrum disorder. Might as well remove the segregation completly and have bous and girls share the same public restrooms.

But, try and might to see what i can do with the cards. Firmly imprinting an image of the emperor save that its mostly associated to war and not good feeling things. Hardship and taxes. The alternative becomes better. Empress things. Merged with the priestess and the devil.

I woke up gin his morning. Why?

Wonder if they’re ever going to give Russia their land back. Its theirs. They gave it to ukraine. Umarine turned their back on them. And joined nato. So they want their land back.

And yes im still

Smoking. Cause im

Still

In prison.

But crawl back out. Until i get pushed back down. It just echoes. Repeat the same lines. Over because i want to but. The momentum is gone. And its hard to get started. Even without. And unfortunaelty all thats comingout is this sickly crap. And i wonder what the next phase of the plan is next week. How im going to be worked.

Save but, to continue on. Ss Cc Cs.

Let these three groupings, i would say, rest. In your mind. There is t other pairing to make with these. From two to three. Four still comes before. Whats already there. Doubles.

Four is a multiplication from three. For there is two ways to spell a number.

With out its symbol it has little trace. To speak of it with a foreign name.

Let me show you.

_______

Letter three is Cc. Because of the lack of symbols C plays a duel nature. To distinguish, in english Cc varies between Cs And Ck. Whereas C is soft K is sharp. In most cases K is replaced by C. And often K is silent. The letter is weakened by the unspoken and shares time with knowledge.

Letter three is also Bv to distinguish it from english. It isnt Bb. It belongs with two. Theres a little warping involved while pronouncing B and V to their similarity with three. And the letter C.

But Cs is more of a “Ts” sound. And is no where near three as it falls on number eleven. But it does accentuate two separate bodies. And is less divergent than the western counterpart.

Knowledge is power; power corrupts.

As for C and S. stands the virgin priestess. And the devil side by side. Below that perched is the english devil. And above the cartes des dammes etailla death card. A quaternity of feminine sexuality. Innocence tied to will and bondage.

There is also another pairing with the empress card who from the foundation up serves for number three. This also changed position with the qwerty system, from a lack for what to call it, and was given to letter D. Its equivalent is Д, which starts one basic word that forms close to the heart. Дом. Home. Its certainly more comforting written in the russian set than it is in english. It was given to the throne. Domicile. Dominion. Domination. Damnation if its built upon the fool.

The D is set to symbolize the womb. From where life comes. The physicality of presence. Substance, with form. Its a living world. Not mechanical.

And the game is all

About unlocking yo chi.

Had a couple visitors this weekend. A cat and a ferret. Exploring my appartment. Well their about to innitiate another hit on me. We’ll see what it is.

So i may as well go

Get a pack of smokes. Going on 40 consistent ywars of being hit like this. Taking other peoples punishments. That they deserve on top of everything fun dun.

Uh, all that came up was casually mentioning boogus sexyal harrasment charges. No gay dhit. Surprised. Eow.

So in this image of temperance and the land. She has no place as of yet in my deck. Not the one i’m working on. She should belong somewhere in there. Attention is still drawn to card letter Я. The farmer in his field, surrounded by golden wheat. Hat’s off, for more sun. … though, like already before, the blacksmith gives light to the industrial. To strength, and formation. It just doesnt fit well with the above. You want something harmonious to see. Something that brings all the cards together. In a way that surpasses the attention.

Hey the cats back. Male, tiger striped.

Maybe, the man, with his straw hat, holding a hammer. In the feild. “What you doing with a hammer way out here, old man?”

What indeed son….

Something like this. And not to remember that Я stands for I. They mean the same thing. Every letter that has room for an I. Put it. Its fun to consider card letter 3 has no I. B does. D, E, F, H, K, L, M, N, P, R, T, Y is debatable. Not really a full I. M and N are partial. Sometimes slanted. But curios if to use this. On the matter of the Tower card letter Б, and card letter 3. If card letter B isnt present. Another messages speaks out here. A tower in the field. Worth to think about.

So card letter 3 is on number 9. Which also inextricably links card number 3 to card letter 3. Seeing how they share the same symbol. So at wall-value the two are interchangeable. It’s by layer that they differentiate. The interchangeability. Still there, weaker because it’s been diluted. This created 3 separate images but, two separate pathways.

The two three’s are also a single three squared. This number being nine. The midpoint obviously six. Perhaps that why six is an image of lovers. And the letter H. With its similarity to sex. Vowels aren’t counted in tarot. There is no card letter Ii or Ee. Its just SX. Card letter S is the devil. And card letter X is another image of boy meets girl. Or Crowley’s. Rim job. Though also taken with freedom, innocence and exuberance. This is not something taught.

I dint like this feeling? Is it going to go away? And stop calling me jack sparrow. I dont have a compass. Fuck off. The only thing im learning in life is the conditioning tgat degenrates entire populaces. Understanding how it works. And why it works.

Russia invades canda. Im joining their side. And ill sell ouy every mother fucker i know. Well i should say father fucker. Because we need political correctness after all.

Curse words do curse. you are what you speak. Ну, is this course it’s written. The written word is interresting compare to the spoken word. In this instance,

It’s negation to the male figure. Mother, fTher. Odd type O. Turns of phrases make a whole lot more sense. When the symbol what represents the letter carries with it a wonder. At the arrangement. What’s it mean?

Odd. Type. O. Is such a phrase.

….i’m not that high, . Why^

I created love again. It’s out there. A single unity. My effects are powerful. Always were. There’s strength there. Not much of a life. It will grow. Never lasting. On the letter N, here, suits the french strength. As in no is a fundamental word. If i were to create its own separate card. The Гг asian dragon. Will glide a-coiled the empress. For in all affect it is taught to treat with dignity.

https://youtube.com/shorts/eAXGSMARcCk?si=EBmC-QXZiZ9EatnM

But not that i’ve been forced and raped into a queer. I better get hooked up with a guy or two. Cause sex is all i care about now nothing else matters. Im just here to be fucked. Born and bred to be a subordinate punished every moment i stepped out of line to talk with a girl. And all i got to do is take these pills once an evening. For two days everyother couple of days. And ill take a massive shit that will completely empty my bowels and keep me loose. And they’ll weaken my muscles. So i wont be as strong. And people can continue laughing at me, and doing cruel things to me. Its been that way since childhood. Im used to it. My enyire existance has been nothing but people fuckein with me. Somce my forst memories. I even got eiple making fun of me if i stand up straight instead of slouching.

I live in a gay abusive idiocracy and i dont want ot be alive anymore. .

Hey its labour day. Eveything is closed except for the poison dispensaries. Evil never sleeps. You may always have the opertunity to

Smoke amd get drunk. I have no will to live my life anymorw. Choice is removed. At a certain length. Of all the years of set ups and negative relations. Druggings, manipulations, and conditioning. Does t really make it a free will choice. While no one tells you, all play to ulterior motives. Not letting you in on them. And half of them are sexists fucktards. Laughing at you. But you cry a bitch if it was turned on them.

Its pure queer for me. There’s no bi, there’s no gay. Its just queer. May as well have tits and a vagina. But, i have a masculine athletic build and the “persona” to match. Always paired to some “superior force” outside of me in the form of another person or an entire community. Bedroom with a spychotic abusive older brother from where ive been beaten on for being beaten on.

A magical golden aura toyroom. Al it takes to reach the bottem is being puched down them so you can roll like a ball and hit the wall at the bottem. That right there. Is all you need to know about me. Because thats all its ever been.

Ill start training myself how to be queer. Start watching japenese anime. Well until rhis shit wears off and i can go back to being me again.

I want to be in the abisive side of life. And rape people into suicide. Then i could feel like im

Part of the comunity. Makinng life a better place for everybody. Maybe i could turn a bunch of eomen into lesbians with my toxic feminity. Then they be willing to fuck me with their metaphorical dick. They already done a miraculous power at degenerating society into based driven pervets.

But society does run off, have its language basis from slavery. Generations of enslavement unti the people developed their own identity and form of communication based of submissive habits.

All these years of conditioning and manipulations to turn me into a queer. All those years list on the defendive insread of growing and learning hhow and building a life for myself. All thet development lost to other people. Obsessed with me.

Maybe go yo the gym. Start working out. See a teainer. See if they can help with certain joints and tissue. Doing posuture and diaphragm exorcizes. And some degen fuck tard was talkign smack behind my back. Like i dont have that extra sense. Not to know. Because i was standing up tall. And my chest wasnt as sunken.

Made fun of and picked on for showing masculine. Get fag bashed and heyerobashed by everyone. Byt thats just me for being born. Get manhaddled and shipeed around like im not a person. Always ben a product of other people projections. And most of them. The majority of it all is negative. And people actually rhink that if they keep their thoughts in their head. No one can hear them. Or that their actually good actors. Cause they suck. And should watch more tv.

Its easy alot of the time to tell if someone is being themselves are not. Aadly to say most of the gay people ive been i troduced to. Are all aliens in their own skin. Cause they live a lie. There a taint looming over them. Passing through them. And its revolting. Because they are not. Save for society and all the conditioning and pressures and the sexualization of symbols. And it mKes me feel bad. Pity. Speaking of which then you have the fully emasculate with the bestie girlfriend filling there intents and motivations with friendly feminine support agaist their own better judgement. Some of these guys are brilliant. Caught listening to the dark externalized feminine sins. Affecting the morality or ethicallity of theire decisions.

I was gaming with such a couple. And he was all like. But i shouldn’t cause it’ll be intrusive or etropic to them. Meanign the girl is like. No, nonits alright. They don’t mind. And i was like. Ih yeah i do. He’s right. Amd your an idiot. And then they mive on away from the friend and the nagotive feminine. Addopt the best of it. Find a dmoninate male and have mind blowing anal sex for the rest of their days. One less good man making the world a better place.

But good job getting my mother into it. Now when ever i see her abusive ugly face,i’ll go watch a family oriented film or something. With a good mother “archetype” and good family values. To help save on the degeneracy of my constant conditioning. She always wanted a girl. No she has one. She should leave me the fuck alone. Too busy living in her fantasy land and her memories to pay any attention to her children. Whoch is what she should hav ebeen doing instead of being present but absent. Or beating on me or throwing a bipolar double fire fit everytime if it involved my person.

Now excuse me in my fantasies of the ideal mother and family while being raped into suicide. And repress the hatred to bury everysingle One of you with out conscience or mercy. Which also means the absnece of cruelty. Whoch is a sing of dovinity in this world.

Purge the fucken demon.

An impossible task in hell.

Fuck love. Born again.

Though i do wonder if the next step, if this one doesnt work. Is to kidnap and rape me everyday until i like it.

Meh, ive came further.

Everytime ive jerked off, which is alot, i hit the wall on the other side of the room.

Damned, that ass. You guys are luvky get to stair at that all day. If it were me. Id take iher in the back every 5 mins and pump her full of baby girls thta look just like her. And the world would be a better place for.

But i aint 8 years ild anymore. Dont have the drive like i used to.

Thats not good hash thats bad hash. But ill smoke it anyway. Maybe it’ll turn me into a queer agajn for a fee hours. Its harsh, burns black and tastes and smells like a dollar street dealer. Ive smoked enough laced weeed in my days. Some

Of the shit they put in it. I som’t even want to know. When you take a small little puff and blackout. You know its good shit. Maybe itll make me unstable and ill get raped again.

I need to kill myself.

Wonder who my boyfriend is gonna be. Hope he’s like 6ft, exercises, hung and wealthy. If im gonna be a bitch than i want to be well off. And not need to work. And do art and study cards game and stuff instead I won’t have to deal with anyone and i wont have to deal with everything on my own. It just be me and him. And anyone else he decided to bring. Cus id be open to that. You take care of all the life stuff because im eas never allowed to learn how to live. An dill take care of the hime stuff. Id hate the world too much to leave the house anyway. As ling as i get my ass fucked into a spasm seizure fit unable to even moan. Because all that matters in life is pleasure. People dont need to feel

Like thye beling anywere and its not like they need people to be able to

Have healthy lives. If all that can be replaced by a dick. Then who am i to argue. I was born to be owned anyway. Always at the mercy of other people and how i get treated. I was never ment to feel human.not like i have a single social connection that doesnt play me this way. All

People have ever dome is fick eoth me. And i dont eant to be alive anymore. 40’urars later i still don’t know what it is to trust somebody.

Ugh. It wore off. I still got some more.

I need a new job. G luvk fimding one. Meet a new group to fuck with me.

So hurry up and send me a guy so i can blow him in my appartment and get it recorded on video for everyone. I have enough experience of it that it destroyed my life. So lets go back and satisfy everyones evil over me. And then you can all smile and laugh and feel superior to me. It’s all ive ever known anyway.

When i asked her for her number, even though, i kmow, after like the 6th time or so being friendly. Ahe started spazzing out. Looking for an excuse but couldnt settle on ine and/or form one on the spot. “Yeah, i can see your uncomfortable. Ya,” walk away.

Too bad they manipulated my physiology into be queer now. The only thing i have to do is unravel all the bs. Oh that what, this that. Its terribly depressing. Im going to go play with my ass now. It kinda feels like massaging your esophagus with a dick. Nothing worth wild. Maybe hurt to swallow for a while.

Well its virgo season so its all about the moon. Some crazy ass far off unavailable, violent and severe moon up in with the fishes of peace and space vibes. If their not a fucken spychopath.

Mothe rplayed with my ass one day. Too focused on my bowels movements then what i was actually doing. Heres a little enema go take a shit. No, no dont force. Let it come out naturally. Like a fountain or some shit. If there wasnt soap going into my mouth, she was popping my pimples. The cakes were good though. Thats pretty much it. But i can go on at quite a length with this. Formulated it all together over thr last few years. I want to beleive that that is the reason why i got raped but, its not. Theres plenty before. Dtop talking jow. Ok. Theres been nothing to hold on to for iver 25 years. Just in the ocean. Being beaten wvery where i go. All these years. Fucken sadistic fucken cocksuckers man.

I glad ive never been able to hold that kind of mentality. Its alien to me. Its way done there pilled all inder less relevant stuff. See? Did i puzzle you? Exactly. Its puzzling. ….” I cry, when angels deserve to die.” Wake up, grab a little makeup….

I hate that words matter. Sentimentality. Spit on it some more. All i do is breed evil. And feed the ines who already are. Its always been that way. Thats just life. Great, your life advice is to shot myself. Fantatic mom. And no i got a while army of women just like you. I dont need you no more.

They all play pretend, they all far away, off in there own little grand worlds of the known, and none of them talk to me either. And they usually have some pre planned thing and nothing is ever organic. No spontaneity, no life. Staring at me at a distince making decisions for my life for me. And, deflect everything. I just font’t know if they own up to it.

My little puppets. Its my power i own it. , never got the what to lead up to this point till now. Tried, failed, fucked with. Doesnt lead much place for development. Always on the defensive on the will. To exorsize evil over being like hey man. Ehats up? Nope. How can i help. Youd figure after all theose hundreds of people. One would. Nope.

I’s hate to say this but, you all suck.

The minute associations from growing up in this retard culture. Interconnectivity. Flow by aspciation. Rippling through your brain. I dont even need to say it cause you already know. Most people say “meh” coincidence or unimportant. Because its dcares them.

I dont think im surviving much longer. Theres no point to life.

Wow, i learn from her. Thise fee short moments of social. Even though its all set up, the back and forth. Ive been a trying to get that for years. Like the feedback loop effect. Ive been deprived of that for so long. Im bately alive anymore.

But im just here to be beaten and manipulated into a belivenrent mess and then raped. Like thats why. Sure ok. Why not.

Ciga and weed. One word i agree with. By association. Pull it! Kill it! Burn!

Sucks to be a four leaf clover.

Go get ipl treatment done on my legs. Their getting patchy. Above the ankles. Ten treatments roughly. 2800$.

Well maybe with all this treatment their eorking over on me. Ill get to go back being a sexually immoral freak that has no bounderies and i can ruin some more lives. And my own while im at it. Ill be back to being a hairless child getting dicked again. While the men im forced to share my life with take pleasure in being superior to me. Oh well so much for the queer life. Somce i was a child. People have always taken pleasure from being over me. Thats just life. Too bad i fomt enjoy it. Id be the happiest person on the planet right now.

But i deserve it. Missing out on my childhood, losing my entire youth and being sexually manipulated in my prime. To never experience anything other than being at the mercy of other people. And never expwrience anything worth living for. 40 years and running. Wonder what a fenuine case of feeling loved feels like. I’ll never know.

Go order some dildos and wait on a guy to make a move on me. It’ll be a set up. Like always.

Throw an anger tantrum. Yell at some people. Boxes are shit, lifys ate shit. Saw is shit. Make a man cry. Igh. Your dad dies last year….(lucky) wow youe sad. You loved your dad. Dint ask for sympathy. Im incapable.

I wont get an inherentance any more than what theyve already goven me. If i do. All that money. Which is gonna be a handfull. Is probably going to. Charity. I dont accept money from strangers and assholes and rapist cocksuckers like he is.

Quit smiking for awhile see if this feeling in my ass ever goes away. If not. Months from now. Ill be ill prabably be a full receptive queer. Agaisnt my own better judgement. And everyone can celebrate.

Hopefully the old testemant is true and god destroys the anericas.

I want to move to russia. Wait till the war os over so i dont get shot by some ltgb rights rapist.

Funny about that while i was getting raped. Was thr forest fires. Worst in years. Hells a burning.

Too bad i don’t enjoy sex at all.

And all the hedonists. Are all oike what?! I dont understand. You cant bot like sex.

With this ass rot desease theyve given me. Ill probably kiss out on old age too.

I dont know how not to be addicted to something.

I scared myself straight. Cant bypass the life preservation with out killing yourself.

I want to turn as many women as i can jbto lesbians. Just to price how sexy of a woman i am.

Dont think im sleepinvvyo ight the ass is too severe. No work. No money. Want to quit anyway. Wont fine another one. Another countdown till i kill myself.

Not putting in any more effort to do a good job thats for fucken sure.

Course i will i dont knwo how not to try and make life better for everybody. It that ive ever experience it before. Give what you get. Has bever once rung true for me.

I always get ten times worse at everything. Could save your life wounldt mayter.

Im nit even allowed to use health care services or see a shrink without being fucked with. There goes that idea.

They want me to be sick so they can continue torturing me for as ling as they can.

Theres no flames to light and keep in anyones hearts. And none in serrounded to thar im willing to.

I cant even be mysellf in my own appartment by myself

Im gonna have to kill myself to prevent everyone from raping my existance. There nothing quite like vbwing framed inti something your not and raped into suicide. Excuse i have to go to work now. Need to to be fucked with some

More.

I have the entire fucken twonships. Hahhahah fucken raping my life hahhab

I need to

Puke soem more.

Hard being s lesbian in a womans world.

My feet are balding my legs are balding my assis balding and the small of my back. Ehats next? Tits and a fat ass. Man, id look skward with tots my shoulders are too broad.

Womanhood aucks. I feel bad for you. Well not really cuz its worst for me than it would ever be possible for you. Chucks. Buch of pussies.

Because ive always been with nature. In nature. Serrounded. One side. Ivr never been fully present. Half of me is here. There other half over there. Ling bouts of solitude paired to toxic personalities. And silence. Nothing means peace. Nowhere means freedom. Just lacking that part to other people. Cuz they’ve always been all the above. Its never stoped. Always there. Always attcked, or persecuted. Singled out, and smalled.

All these years in this inhavent learnt a thing.

And the world is nothing but faget this and faget that. And expectant sadist pleasure with knowing eyes, and curled lips. Year after year.

Father, strangers, others already awuianted to. Social worker, shrink, dentist. Job job. Job. Job.

Alright my god. Show me what next. Pls. The smokes are gone. Give me grace. Like you have. Give me a wonder. Like you have. Brush my skin with wind and my lips with honey.

Yup. Making sure the dentist appoitmment is done by a super pretty girl on really negative venus mars aspects. Still being manipulated into being a queer. All they do is arrange for me to have negative relations with the oppostire sex.

Noy going to the dentist in the 17th. Cant have it on a day of my chossing. Uh?

Anal sucks. Its gross, its smelly, harzardous, and no happy ending. Here come madsage my earloob eith a Q-tip. Itll be mindblowing. An dim a little confused by whomever personalize this general horascipe app of mine. No passion, no fate, no romance. During a transiting mars square venus aspects. With a moon/saturn conjunction in connunction to natal moon. During a lunar eclipse while. Moving away from a sun trine mars to a sun sextile saturn. Not like i understand astrology at all and neither can i study it. Cause my life isnt my own. And it makes it super convinent form oytside forces to manipulate tour life with.

At work to tries pairing me eith an obnoxious buttlover. And a sissy princess. And a foreign indian who has lost his daddy and is still emotionally vulnerable about it. Im a woman remember im incapable of compassion or sympathy. Because women arent like that. And their even more terrible at pretending like they are then men are. They have lies, deceit, drugs and makeup. Theres nothign real about them. Theres no person behind the mask.

Maybe im just not aueer enough yet. Maybe i need to be brought ot the brink of suicide again. Or maybe i need another hormanal injection so i can fantasize about sucking off menopausal women.

Guess ill never know companionship. Be alone forever. Fighting the erge to kill myself. Peobably wont be around mucj longer. All life has ever sone is fuck me anyway. Therws nothing in it gor me.

Anf there probably somethign else excessivly cruel in store for me.

Hahhaha 40 straight fucken years. Hahha. And everyone thinks its fuckne funny. Maybe if i was as eetard as they are id thinknit be funny too.

She thinks im a badass. Being in the right fighting to entire ficken palbet by myself.

Messing with tbe hormones. Probably did the same when i was a child.

#tarot #tarotblr

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