#will be back to being interested in my studies shortly after the break

[daisynik7]

Rush

Epilogue

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: ~9.5k

cw: mentions of explicit sex, attempted sexual violence that may be triggering (does not go far and is not committed by Eren)

Summary: New year, new beginnings, old flames. 

Notes: I hope you enjoy this Epilogue, it’s a long one! I included a word count this time, for your reference. Please read the End Notes at the bottom of the chapter for my sincerest thanks. 

Previous Chapter | ao3

Rush Series Masterlist

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After a well-deserved holiday break, you’re back at University of Paradis to start your spring semester. Along with your new and more rigorous curriculum, your obligations to your sorority escalate. No longer a pledge and a now a fully-fledged sister, you take a more active role in your organization by trying to recruit potential members. Spring rush begins two weeks into the new year for women and men interested in Greek life. Because of the partnership with Alpha Tau, Sigma Nu Kappa miraculously sees an increase in their numbers. By the end of the month, you welcome an exciting group of new sisters, ready to dive into the mysterious allure of sorority life. 

Alpha Tau, back in its good graces, continues to excel during recruitment, despite losing a few members the previous semester. Reiner was expelled shortly after Eren. Apparently he threw a hissy fit in front of Erwin and Levi, who confronted him about his disrespectful behavior. Bertolt, being the obedient devotee he is, actually quit following his best friend’s expulsion. Rumor has it they’ve been “adopted” as unofficial brothers into another frat, the one where their friends Porco and Marcel are in. 

The first few months of the new year are ordinary, for the most part. The only major difference is that Eren Jaeger has become a regular part of your daily life.

Following the end of your intimate relationship with him and his expulsion from Alpha Tau, Eren quickly got his act together. He focused on his studies more, spending hours in the library next to Armin, buried in his textbooks or typing away at a paper. You didn’t see him much during those last few weeks, only in passing, walking alongside his best friend. Cordial waves from a distance were always exchanged. Even from afar, it was difficult to ignore the twinkle in his eyes or the goofy grin whenever he saw you. 

It's not until this new year that Eren makes his official return into your life. 

The golden trio of Eren, Armin, and Mikasa are in tandem again, hanging out constantly as if their temporary setback never occurred. You’re included in the mix now, being Mikasa’s closest friend, roommate, and sorority sister. Jean occasionally joins if he isn’t busy with soccer team business. You and Eren acknowledge one another as acquaintances do. A smile, a wave, a glance here and there. Nothing more. Careful not to overstep any boundaries. There’s no tension between you two; rather there’s remnants of a barely lit flame still present from your previous relationship. It’s unpredictable when it will ever fizzle out. 

You share meals together, surrounded by your friends, never alone. You have conversations as a group, not with each other. The most you’ll say is a hello or hi, along with a lingering look. There’s an unspoken agreement there; he won’t cross any lines until you’re ready to. At this rate, you’re taking baby steps to get to that point. You want to take your time with him.

Despite keeping your metaphorical distance, you find yourself learning more each day you spend with him. His interests, his pet peeves, his little quirks that you secretly find charming. Over dinner one night, you discover that Eren has a sweet tooth, finishing two different slices of cake in one sitting without a single crumb or smattering of frosting left on his plate. Another night, Mikasa teases him about being a mama’s boy, which he shamelessly agrees with. 

“She’s the most important woman in my life,” he says proudly to Mikasa. “Besides you and – ” 

He cuts himself off, not finishing his statement. For a split second, his eyes quickly dart towards you, cheeks blushed with a rosy tinge. Maybe it’s your imagination. 

They reminisce about their past often, having spent their entire childhoods together. Through passing comments, you learn that Eren has always cared deeply for his friends. As a child, he was the first to throw a punch whenever Armin was harassed by the neighborhood bullies. The only kid on the block who would defend Mikasa from perverted old men eyeing her on the street. Even protecting his mom from being mugged several times on simple trips to the grocery store. 

You’re beginning to see for yourself what Mikasa told you last semester. I wish you could have met him before all of this. You would see how great of a person he can be. There’s a reason his friends have stuck by him through thick and thin. They’ve put their trust and faith in him because of the lengths he’s gone for them. You wonder if you’ll ever be able to get to that point with him. A tiny part of you hopes so.

You learn that Armin and Eren share a fascination for traveling. During a study session in the library, they huddle during their breaks to read a couple different travel magazines they purchased at the café. Eren takes great care to highlight and place post-it notes on pages he finds particularly interesting. A few times, he glances over at you, catching your gaze on him. The moment dissipates as quickly as it appears, a fading ember in heavy rain. Something’s there, both of you too hesitant and shy to nurture it.

In the blink of an eye, March arrives. The flower gardens scattered throughout campus are in full bloom. Displays of different colored flora along every pathway illuminate your daily walks to class. The melancholy that winter naturally emanates has finally passed. Life is good. 

It’s this month that your relationship with him changes. It’s small, but definitely noticeable. 

~~~

In the middle of March, the weekend preceding midterms, the four of them gather in a study room. Mikasa and Armin review biology flashcards, she’s finishing up a permitted cheat sheet for one of her courses, and Eren focuses on writing an essay for his sociology class. After typing his last thought, he closes his laptop and leans back in his chair, sighing. 

Mikasa sets down her flashcards. “Let’s take a break.” She reaches into her bag and fetches a bag of chips, setting it in the middle to share. 

“Speaking of a break, what is everyone doing for spring break? It’s coming up,” Armin reminds them. 

“Jean invited me to stay with his family. We might go camping,” Mikasa replies. 

“That sounds fun! Grandpa will probably want to go fishing, so I’ll be doing that,” Armin says. “Eren, what do the Jaegers have planned this year?”

He grabs a handful of chips as he answers, “We’ll be at the beach house. I can’t believe Mikasa will be missing my birthday just because she has a boyfriend now,” he teases her, smirking. 

She rolls her eyes. “A week away from Zeke bragging about med school and taking over your dad’s practice? Oh yeah, poor me,” she responds sarcastically, returning his playful grin. 

“When is your birthday?”

He’s startled to hear her voice. To hear her direct a question at him. It’s an invitation to engage in a real conversation, which flusters and thrills him. 

He faces her, hoping his cheeks aren’t flushed. “March 30th.”

“Must be nice having it during spring break. I’m sure you’ll have fun.”

He gulps loudly, excited to continue talking to her. “Yeah, it is nice. What are…what are your plans?” Mikasa and Armin stare at them as if they’re watching a slow-moving tennis match, heads turning towards whoever is speaking, holding their breaths. 

She shrugs, reaching for the snacks. “Probably just stay home and do some spring cleaning. My family doesn’t really go on vacations.”

There’s a rush of ideas bombarding him, the most obvious being the temptation to invite her. It’s insane. But the thought of spending spring break together is a dream. It’s been over three months since they ended their previous relationship. Over three months of secretly pining for her, waiting for whatever chance he can get to be a little bit closer.  

It’s on the tip of his tongue. What’s the worst that could happen if he let it slip? Rejection? Bruised ego? Extreme embarrassment? That’s nothing compared to heartache, and he’s already experienced that. He has nothing to lose. 

Still, he has to put her first. He wouldn’t want to do or say anything to make her uncomfortable. That’s why it’s taken this long for them to have a legitimate conversation with each other, outside of their usual greetings. He wasn’t sure if she wanted to speak to him, especially after all that happened. 

Mikasa intervenes. “Annie doesn’t live too far from you. I’m sure you two can see each other if you’re bored.”

“Oh yeah! She mentioned wanting to try a new restaurant near where I live, so we’ll probably do that.”

Eren comes to his senses, mentally calming himself down from his sudden excitement. He can’t invite her to the beach house with him. That’s crazy. Outrageous. Definitely a bad idea. Baby steps, he reminds himself. Baby steps. “That should be fun. I hope you have a nice break.”

“Thank you. You too.”

They gaze at each other for what seems like a full minute; in reality, it’s a few seconds. There’s electricity, even if it is a slightly dulled. It could be wishful thinking on his end, but these are the tiny interactions he’s learned to cherish these past few months. He’ll take whatever he can get; a warm glance, courteous wave, her signature bright smile that instantly lifts his mood. He won’t take any of it for granted anymore. 

Armin clears his throat. “Anyways, it sounds like we’re all going to have a nice vacation.” 

His friends engage her in idle chit chat about Greek life, leaving Eren alone in his thoughts. Another layer in their complicated relationship has been peeled away. There’s a long way to go, but it’s progress. It gives him hope.

He treasures these moments. This, along with the little details he’s learned about her so far. What she likes, what annoys her, those adorable habits she has. They spent so much time indulging in sex last fall that they didn’t get to know each other properly. He enjoys exploring her mind and soul just as much as her body; maybe more if that’s even possible.  

Their passionate nights reappear in Eren’s head every now and again. Probably more than he’ll ever admit. Out of respect, he tries his best not to think of her in that way anymore. Though when he’s alone in the deepest confines of his psyche, he can’t help letting his hands wander, wishing more than anything it’s her in bed with him. He allows himself this occasional weakness for the sake of his sanity. 

Tonight, he lets himself succumb to it, more so than ever these past three months. She actually spoke to him, and she was the one to initiate it. It’s glorious, and hours later, he’s still high from it. Why is he so desperate? As Eren slides his boxers off to stroke his hard cock, body hidden beneath the blankets in case Armin returns any minute, he ignores the guilt and lets his desires overtake him. 

He fantasizes about a scenario where she does spend spring break with him and his family. They would drive to the beach house, top down in a rented convertible, wind blowing through their hair. Fingers entwined, resting on the center console, natural for two people in love. 

At the beach house, Eren would make proper introductions to his parents. His mom would be ecstatic to see her son with a woman, especially one as beautiful as her. Zeke, his half-brother, would arrive later for dinner, cocky as usual during table conversation. Probably flirtatious with her, attempting to push his little brother’s buttons. This wouldn’t bother Eren, because at the end of the night, it’s him who bends her over at the edge of the bed, pleasuring her until they’re both spent. Cuddling and falling asleep in each other’s arms, in total bliss. 

She’d make the best impressions on his parents, helping his mom in the kitchen, offering to help his dad fix a few loose boards on the deck. Pretending to be intrigued by Zeke’s insufferable stories of med school. They’d relax by the ocean every day, basking in the pleasant heat from the sun. At night, they’d make love, indulging in each other’s warm bodies. Her silky moans music to his ears as she wraps her legs around his waist, wanting to feel him deeper. Her moans turn into whines, indicating he’s hitting that sweet spot. He thrusts into her faster, wanting her to gush all over him, thumb brushing against her puffy clit that he licked and sucked earlier when she rode his face. She’s so close, desperate to have her precious cunt filled with his hot load…

His cock twitches in his fist, cum dribbling onto his bare abdomen. He opens his eyes and he’s in his bedroom, hidden beneath his covers. There’s a box of tissues at his bedside, conveniently. He wipes any evidence and tosses it into the trash, thankful that Armin takes unusually long showers.

After a few minutes of lying in bed, he buries his face into his pillow, groaning. He hates when that post-nut clarity hits. It brings him shame, guilty for using her as a way to get himself off. He didn’t even recall a past scenario this time; he invented a new one. 

He answers the question he asked himself earlier: Why is he so desperate?

He’s in love with her. That’s why. 

~~~

The rest of the semester passes without any major issues. The frequency in which you converse with Eren increases at a steady rate. He cracks jokes here and there, nothing vulgar or inappropriate. The conversations are never too deep, enough to scratch the surface and uncover a valuable cache of knowledge about each other. It’s surprisingly easy talking to him; you’re building up to being more than acquaintances with an intricate past. 

With finals around the corner, you find yourself once again in a study room with Mikasa, Armin, and Eren. Mikasa and Armin group in front of a whiteboard, reviewing diagrams and terminology for their biology class. Eren is writing yet another sociology research paper. And you’re in the middle of a practice test for one of your courses. 

Eren closes his laptop, raising his arms up in a stretch. “Anybody want anything from the café?”

Mikasa and Armin, too focused on their discussion, wave him off. He turns to you, offering, “Do you want anything?”

Distracted by a question that you’re desperately trying to solve, you mumble a name of a drink, your usual. A few minutes later, you come up with the solution and finally relax. It’s only now that you realize you only gave him half the details of what you wanted. Thinking it’s too late to specify any of it, you let it be, not wanting to be a bother. 

When he returns, he sets his drink next to his laptop. Probably a black coffee, his typical order. He hands you yours, which seems normal.

“Thank you,” you tell him. “Let me know how much I owe you.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. It’s on me. I hope I got your drink right.”

Certain that he didn’t, by no fault of his own, you examine the sticker on the cup listing the precise details. To your surprise, it’s perfect. From the amount of ice, type of milk, even the extra pump of the particular sweetener you like. 

Impressed, you exclaim, “It’s exactly how I order it! How’d you know?”

He rubs the nape of his neck, blushing. “You get it so much, I guess it stuck with me.”

You beam at him, flattered that he memorized your relatively complicated order. He thought it was important to remember. It makes you feel special. With a sip of the drink, you take a deep breath, exhaling happily. “It’s absolutely perfect. Thank you.”

Cheeks still pink, he responds, “It’s really nothing.”

There it is again. That spark. A blaze that burns just barely, enough to provide light and warmth in a dim, dark place. It’s amazing how something so simple, so seemingly insignificant, can do that. You do your best to suppress these emotions, knowing all too well that there’s a long way to go when it comes to you and Eren. That doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate the progress. 

The next few hours continue, the four of you concentrated on your own studies. When the sun sets, you gather your belongings and head to the dining hall to eat.     

The topic of summer vacation comes up. Mikasa is already aware of your plans, but you decide to announce it to Armin and Eren. 

“I’ll be staying on-campus. I’m required to complete one summer session for my major so that I can graduate on time.”

Armin says, “Really? Eren, aren’t you doing a summer session as well?”

This is brand new information. Mikasa also seems surprised by this. “You’re going to be here for the summer too?”

Eren nods, eyes focused down at his plate. “Yeah, I talked with Pyxis this week and he suggested that I do one to get in some extra classes. Told me it’s better for my resume when I apply to law school. He was able to pull some strings and get me enrolled last minute; I just found out yesterday.”

Mikasa, who’s sitting next to you, squeezes your knee lightly underneath the table.

“I guess we’ll both be here,” you murmur, unsure how else to react. 

“Yeah, I guess we will.” His expression is unreadable. For a split second, though, he smiles. 

Later that night, with you and Mikasa ready for bed and snuggled under the covers, she turns to face you. “Are you going to be okay? Being here with Eren for the summer?”

“Of course. It’s not going to change anything. We’ve been okay this whole semester.”

“Yeah, but Armin and I aren’t going to be here. Do you think you’ll want to hang out with him? Alone?” 

You shrug. “I don’t know. We haven’t been alone together since…well, you know. I don’t know how awkward that will be.”

“You’ll both be at Reiss. All the students doing summer sessions are housed there.”

“So? What’s your point?”

“Living together in close quarters when nobody else is around to keep the two of you dummies in check? What do you think will happen?”

Rolling your eyes, you indulge her. “Tell me.”

“You’ll fuck! The two of you will start fucking again!”

“Mikasa, that’s not going to happen. First of all, the apartments are big. It’s not like we’ll be next door neighbors. I probably won’t be seeing him much. And second, even if we do run into each other, we’ll say our usual hellos, do some small talk, and that’s it! What do you think we’ve been doing the past few months. Everything is under control.”

“Oh please. Don’t think for a second that the little flirtations you and Eren have been exchanging are going unnoticed,” she reveals.

“What? We don’t flirt!”

“Oh really?” She sits up aggressively, mimicking you from earlier. “Oh Eren, it’s perfect! How did you know?” In a second, she switches to Eren, copying his deep voice, “I don’t know baby. Just stuck with me I guess. Want to touch my abs now?”

You throw a pillow at her, unable to contain your laughter. “Shut up! That’s not what we sounded like!”

“That’s exactly how you sounded,” she teases, tossing it back to you. “It’s obvious he still has feelings for you.”

“I don’t know about that – ”

“And I know you still have feelings for him, too. Neither of you will ever admit it, but we all know.”

Shocked by her accusation, you sputter, “Huh? That’s not…how do you…”

“We’re sisters. Of course I know.”

You remain silent, neither confirming nor denying her suspicions. It wouldn’t matter anyways with how confident she sounds. 

“I’m not saying you two shouldn’t reconnect. To be honest, it seems like Eren is back to his normal self, before his whole wannabe fuck boy phase. I want to make sure that you’re ready to take that next step. If that’s what you really want.”

“I don’t know what I want yet. We’re taking it slow. There’s no rush.”

“And that’s great. I don’t doubt that you’ll continue to succeed in that. But I’m sure there will come a time that you’ll be tempted to revisit those intimate moments the two of you share. If you do go through with it, do it because you want to. Not because you’re lonely, desperate, or pressured. Do it because it feels right in your heart.” 

You let her advice sink in. She adds, “If you ever need someone to talk to, you know I’m always a phone call away.”

In the dim light, you can see her sincere eyes gazing at you. “Thank you,” you tell her, promising telepathically to heed her words of wisdom. 

The discussion ends there, leaving it up to you to decide when the “right time” is. Or if there will ever be a “right time”. 

One thing is for sure: this summer is already more interesting because of Eren Jaeger.

At the end of the semester, the seniors graduate in the standard pomp and circumstance ceremony. You exchange tearful goodbyes to your favorite graduates, promising to keep in touch. Hange makes you swear to visit her at Marley School of Medicine, while Petra promises to stop by whenever she’s in the area. The candy leis you, Mikasa, and Sasha spent the previous night crafting are distributed to all the Sigma Nu Kappa seniors, even some Alpha Tau’s, including Levi, Erwin, and of course, Mike. You give him an especially fond smooch on the cheek. 

With the school year officially over, most of Paradis’s students pack up and go home. Annie and Hitch agree to stay an extra day to help you move into the on-campus apartments called Reiss Residence, open specifically for students staying for the summer. It takes at least two hours to haul your belongings across campus to your new home. Being on the second floor of the complex with an elevator that operates at a snail’s pace contributes to the difficulty. Once your stuff is inside, you unpack, dragging boxes up the stairs into one of the empty bedrooms. Downstairs is a living room space furnished with a couch and coffee table. There’s also a little kitchen, complete with all the essential appliances to cook. Unfortunately, you don’t have any pots or pans to actually prepare a meal, so you pray that your roommate moves in with those items in her possession. 

Exhausted from the move and too lazy to walk over to the dining hall, you call a local pizza shop to get dinner delivered directly to your doorstep, treating your friends for helping you during this tiring process. In the middle of your meal, you hear a knock on your door.

“RA knocking! Anyone in there?” When you open it, a tall, well-built man stands in front of you with a clipboard. “Hi! I’m Onyankopon, your new RA.”

You introduce yourself, smiling as you shake hands. 

“Welcome to Reiss. My room is downstairs, #101. Knock anytime you need anything. If I’m not in, feel free to call me.” He gives you a sheet of paper listing general rules and information for the complex. He points at the number typed on the bottom next to his name.

“I see you’re pretty much moved in. I just need to get you checked-in with a date and a signature.” He presents you the clipboard and a pen. You scan it quickly for your name, signing it when you find it. Not bothering to check the rest of the list, you return it to him. 

“Awesome, thanks. Has your roommate moved in?”

“No, not yet.”

“That’s okay. I’ll come by tomorrow again to check. Some students are coming in tomorrow, even later this week since classes don’t start until Monday. I’m planning to have a little welcoming party in my room Sunday night to introduce everyone. I’ll post the details on the bulletin next to the laundry room on this floor.”

“Sounds great. Looking forward to it,” you tell him, genuinely excited.

“Don’t hesitate to contact me if you need anything!” With that, he waves goodbye, leaving to knock on the rest of the doors on your floor. 

Back inside, Annie says, “He seems nice.”  

“And hot,” Hitch smirks. “Aren’t RAs for these apartments usually grad students? You should try older men for a change,” she teases with a wink.

You roll your eyes. “I don’t think he’ll be interested in an undergrad if he really is a grad student.”

“Hey, you never know unless you try! How hot would that be, sex with the RA? This stuff doesn’t write itself.”

You laugh, half considering her suggestion because she’s not wrong: your new RA is very attractive. However, you’re still taking time to focus on yourself and avoid potential drama. If that means remaining celibate the rest of the summer, then that’s the route you’ll have to continue taking. 

“Armin told me that Eren is also going to be here. Is that going to be weird for you?” Annie asks, finishing off her slice of pizza. 

“I don’t know. We probably won’t see much of each other unless we literally live right next door, which isn’t going to happen.”

“Think you’ll try to hang out with him one-on-one? I mean, you practically saw each other every day the past few months.”

“That’s different; we’re always with Mikasa and Armin. There’s a buffer.”

“Do you even want to hang out with him? As friends?”

It’s definitely crossed your mind. Mikasa’s words have been replaying constantly the past couple of days. Do it because it feels right in your heart.

You haven’t seen him since the last study session, and the thought of running into him any minute now has you flustered. Is it worry? Or excitement? 

“I don’t think I’m there yet,” you respond, remaining ambiguous.

Instead of continuing to pester you, they drop it, changing the subject to Eta Iota gossip going around about one of Hitch’s sisters hooking up with another’s boyfriend. You listen passively, your focus still on Eren. 

Given your history, it might be dangerous to be alone together. You’d be lying to yourself if you said your intimate memories with him have never reappeared in your thoughts. They pop up in your head, particularly at night when you need some sort of sweet release. 

Hanging out, without Mikasa and Armin there to regulate, is a big step. Will you ever get there with him? Can you ever be friends? 

The next morning, you eat breakfast with Hitch and Annie at the cafeteria before they leave for home. Back at your apartment, you notice the door is open, boxes stacked and scattered around the living room. You hear shuffling upstairs and a girl’s voice talking to someone on speaker phone. You knock on the open door loudly to announce your presence. 

A girl with light-brown hair in a ponytail comes sprinting down the stairs, smiling. “Roomie!” She launches herself towards you to give you a big hug. “I’m Hannah! Nice to meet you!”

You return her embrace and introduce yourself, making small talk while you help her move her things to her bedroom. Throughout the day, you learn that she is cheerful and easy-going. She mentions her boyfriend Franz, who she warns will be coming over quite often, to which you assure her that you don’t mind. 

When she’s unpacked, the two of you walk to the store right off campus to pick up groceries and snacks. That night, you cook your first meal in the kitchen. Luckily, Hannah comes prepared with kitchenware, offering to share it as long as you clean it after use. 

Friday, Hannah decides to spend the weekend with Franz once more before the session begins, leaving you alone in the apartment. You sleep in, taking advantage of the few days left of your tiny break. 

Around noon, your growling stomach gets you out of bed. In your comfiest sweats, you leave your apartment. For the first time this week, you notice the door next to yours is open. Outside is a middle-aged woman with long black hair in a loose ponytail hanging over her shoulder. There are clothes scattered over the pavement surrounding her as she carries an empty laundry basket. Immediately, you bend down to pick up some of the littered fabric. 

“Ah, thank you, dear. I’m such a klutz,” she giggles, squatting to help. “These are clean, don’t worry.”

You chuckle, giving her a pair of sweatpants. The two of your collect the last few items off the ground. “I hope I didn’t take too much time out of your day!” she says. 

“Not at all. I was just on my way to get lunch. I’m in no rush. Happy to help.”

“I’m relieved to know my son is living next to someone as sweet as you. Thank you again for all your help.”

Her appreciation for such a simple act is endearing. She seems like such a lovely woman. You smile at her, reiterating how it wasn’t a big deal when you hear someone walk towards you from behind.  

You turn to check who it is, almost choking when you recognize that it’s Eren. He blinks rapidly as he stutters your name. 

Somehow, some way, the universe has forced you two to be next door neighbors.

Eren’s mom glances at him, then at you. “Oh, you two know each other? How nice! She was helping me pick up your laundry after I dropped it all on the ground.”

He steps towards his mother, grabbing the sides of the basket. “Mom, I told you I’d get that. It’s heavy,” he states, carrying it easily. He glances at you before heading back inside his apartment to set the clothes down. 

His mom asks you, “So, you two are friends?”

What is the correct answer here? You’re not quite sure yourself.  

Eren quickly replies, “Yes, we’re friends.” He smiles at you, then at his mom.  

“Oh good! I don’t have to worry about my son being lonely this summer,” his mom teases, pinching one of his cheeks.

“Mom,” Eren warns, waving her off lovingly. It’s cute. 

“Your dad should be here soon; he went to get gas after we unloaded all of your things from the car.”

“That’s nice you’re here to help Eren move. I wish I had a car when I moved. We had to lug everything from across campus,” you explain, laughing.

“Oh you poor thing. Next time, tell Eren to help you. As you can see, he has plenty of muscles,” she comments, squeezing his bicep. 

“Mom, seriously,” he mutters, hand shielding his face in embarrassment.

“He’s so shy, isn’t he?” she grins. Eren peeks at you between his fingers, a blush surrounding his cheeks.

His mom’s phone chimes. “Oh! That’s your father, let’s go sweetie.”

You’re ready to part ways when you hear her suggest, “You should come to lunch with us!”

Going to lunch with your former fuck buddy’s parents? And your former fuck buddy turned acquaintance slash friend? This is too weird. “No, I don’t want to intrude.”

“Nonsense. We’re inviting you.”

Expecting him to dissuade his mother, Eren agrees. “Yeah, you should come with us. It’ll be fun.” His expression is warm and inviting. His eyes glisten with kindness. How can you decline an invite from both him and his mother?

“Oh…um, okay. Thank you,” you relent, walking besides them.

“Silly me! I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Carla,” she mentions, holding out her hand. You do the same as the three of you head downstairs. In the parking lot, you spot a maroon Subaru Hatchback running. A man with glasses sits in the driver’s seat. 

“Honey, Eren’s friend here is going to join us for lunch!” Carla exclaims.

From inside the vehicle, you see him clap giddily. “Excellent! Hello Eren’s friend!”

Carla informs her husband of your name, to which he enthusiastically repeats. You grin at their quirkiness. From the corner of your eye, you see Eren smiling too.

~~~

Somehow, some way, the universe has blessed Eren. 

He can’t comprehend it. He’s sitting in the back of the car next to her, the middle seat being the only distance between them, as his parents drive them to his favorite restaurant in the area. He literally pinches himself several times to believe it’s real. 

His mom does most of the chatting during the ride. She asks the standard questions, most of which he’s already memorized about her. At the restaurant, which is a local diner with the best milkshakes, his dad joins in on the small talk. In typical Grisha Jaeger fashion, he brags about Zeke, who’s currently in med school to take over the family business. This naturally prompts him to pat Eren on the back and proclaim, “But I’m also proud of my other son here, who’s going to be a hot-shot lawyer one day! Hopefully he won’t ever be prosecuting me for medical malpractice!” 

Aside from his dad’s corny jokes, their lunch is as delightful as Eren could imagine it to be, under their current circumstances. All week, he’s been nervous about the status of their relationship this summer, if there even would be a relationship. Without Armin and Mikasa around, how would it be between them? The question has been nagging him since he decided to stay. And now, it’s been partially answered. Still, he wonders if they’ll ever be able to spend time together, just the two of them.

Back at the apartment, they gather in front of Eren’s room. 

“Thank you so much for lunch, Mr. and Mrs. Jaeger,” she says. 

“Oh please, the pleasure was all ours! We hope to see you again soon!” 

Eren eyes his mom, to which she announces, “Grisha, honey, let’s unpack some of Eren’s stuff in the kitchen.” Before his dad can get a word in, she drags him into the apartment, yelling out, “Sweetheart, it was so nice to finally meet you. Please take good care of yourself!” He nearly flinches at his mom’s slip-up. Thankfully, it goes unnoticed. 

At last alone with her, he says, “Thank you for joining us. That was fun. I hope it wasn’t awkward for you or anything.”

“No, it wasn’t. Your parents are really nice. Thanks for letting me tag along.”

“Are you all unpacked?” he asks, eager to keep their exchange going.

“Yeah, for the most part. I don’t have too many things, so it wasn’t so bad.”

“I’m the opposite. My mom made sure I packed everything. I might have to use the spare bedroom for storage.”

Her eyes light up at this statement. “You don’t have a roommate?”

“Nope. It’s just me,” he answers. “My dad is going to help me move the other bed into my room to create a queen-sized bed.”

“That sounds nice.” There’s a small pause before she adds, “Maybe we can hang out at your place. Not on the bed, I’m not thinking that because of the bed, I thought that since you don’t have a roommate, it might be nice to, y’know, watch a movie or something, I don’t know – ”

He stops her rambling with a grin, “I get it. I wasn’t thinking anything about it. But yeah, we should definitely do that. If it’s okay with you.” Calm, cool, collective. He has to appear this way as fireworks are nearly bursting out of his chest.

She nods, not explicitly responding to his last statement. “Anyways, I’ll let you get back to unpacking. I’ll see you around.”

It’s too short. He wishes they could keep chatting forever and ever. “Yeah, see you.”

She disappears into her apartment, leaving Eren to pinch himself one more time before joining his parents inside. In a daze, he removes some pans from the open box next to his mom, who looks at him curiously. 

“Honey, Eren and I are going to unpack his clothes in his room. Can you finish the rest of these boxes down here?”

“Yes, dear.”

Upstairs, Eren’s mom shuts the door and begins hanging his jackets in the closet. “So, that’s her.” 

There’s no secrets between him and his mom. That’s the type of relationship they have. When he fucked up last semester, he made sure to come clean about it as soon as he was home for winter break. And she made sure to give him a piece of her mind. Since then, she hasn’t stopped.

“I can’t believe you would do that to a sweet girl like her,” she continues, casually unfolding his laundry as she scolds him. “Really, Eren. I am still so disappointed in you.”

“I know, Mom. I know. I fucked up. I beat myself up about it every day.”

“I hope you do. Did you know that she would be next door?”

“Of course not. I knew she was staying at these apartments. I never predicted this. I mean, I jokingly wished for it. I didn’t think it’d actually come true.” He can’t help but smile to himself, feeling like the luckiest guy in the world. 

She glares at him. “Don’t get any ideas, son. You have to keep your distance. She might still be wary about you. I wouldn’t blame her.”

“Yeah, I know. I will. But when I told her I don’t have a roommate, she said that we should hang out. I think she’s ready to be friends.”

She stops what she’s doing to look at him carefully. “Honey, are you sure about this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Isn’t it time to move on? I know you still have feelings for her, but this is dangerous. You don’t know if she’ll ever feel the same way about you again. Maybe this ship has sailed.”

He contemplates this for a while before saying, “Maybe. But if there’s the tiniest chance, then I’m wearing a life vest and swimming. I’m not letting her go. Not yet.”

She stares at him, concerned. “You like her that much?”

With full confidence, he answers, “I’m in love with her. I love her, Mom.” This is the first he’s confessing it out loud. He’s surer of it now hearing it in his own voice.

“Eren, you’re not even dating. You barely know her. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not being ridiculous. I feel it in my heart, in my fucking soul. I can’t stop thinking about her. Everything I do now is for her. To prove to her how worthy of a man I can be, worthy of her love. I won’t give up until the day she looks me in the eyes and tells me that it’s never going to happen. Maybe even then, I won’t give up. I know you probably think I’m being immature or idiotic. But this is how I feel. I can’t help it.”

“Honey, I hear you, and I’m not trying to invalidate your feelings. But are you prepared to get hurt if this doesn’t work out the way you want it to?” There’s urgency in her voice, almost like she’s pleading with him to reconsider this. To give up, for his own sake. 

He won’t. This is the most certain he’s ever been in his life. 

“If that means I’m going to get hurt, then fine. It’ll be worth it to have felt something than nothing at all.”

~~~

Sunday night, your RA hosts a gathering in his slightly larger apartment on the first floor. Hannah isn’t back from her boyfriend’s, so you arrive alone. You meet a few of the other residents as you help yourself to a slice of pizza and a drink. Onyankopon gathers everyone in a circle to play a little ice-breaker game. Just as he’s about to start, Eren walks in. 

“Sorry I’m late,” he mumbles.

“No worries, man! Go ahead and take a spot in the circle.”

You glance at him, waving, which he returns with a smile. He positions himself across from you, next to an auburn-headed guy you sort of recognize from one of the fraternities. 

Onyankopon asks everyone in the circle state their name, year, major, organizations they are involved in on campus, and one interesting fact. He starts, explaining how he completed his bachelors at a school private school in Marley and is now working on his masters in aerospace engineering here at Paradis. Each resident clockwise has their turn to speak. When it gets to Eren, he shares that he has a big sweet tooth, which you already knew, and that he has finished an entire chocolate cake all by himself once in his lifetime, which you did not know. 

After the event, you bid farewell to your RA and new neighbors. Outside, Eren walks slow, waiting for you. You catch up to him, greeting him with a, “Hey.”

“Hi. Are you ready for classes tomorrow? Feels like we barely had a break.”

“Not sure if I’m ever really ready for classes. Oh well,” you chuckle. “Do you have an early morning class?”

“No. Thankfully my earliest class is at 11, which isn’t bad.”

“That’s the same for me too! It’ll be nice to sleep in once in a while.”

“Yeah, definitely.” There’s a pause. “Maybe we can get breakfast some time. If you’re up for it.”

You remember him being so against sharing a meal together in public not too long ago. And now, he’s offering the idea so easily. You can’t help but tease him just a bit. “You don’t want to get it delivered?” 

He stops in his tracks. “Hey, I didn’t…I wasn’t…I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking – ”

You nudge him in the arm with your elbow, laughing. “I’m messing with you. Breakfast sounds good.”

His face relaxes. “I deserve that.” 

“Yeah, you do,” you smirk.

It’s different this time around. It has to be.

~~~

The session starts and Eren, for the most part, has a handle on his courses. Without it being as rigorous as a regular semester, he spends a large chunk of his free time going to the gym, cooking in his kitchen, and watching Netflix on his flat-screen TV, courtesy of Dr. Grisha Jaeger. 

Though the walls are thin, he barely hears a bump from his lovely neighbor. However, knowing she’s there brings him happiness. Over the past few weeks, they’ve been getting comfortable chatting outside the apartment. Sometimes for a few minutes if either of them is in a rush to another destination, most of the time for nearly half an hour, neither in any rush to end it. He looks forward to stepping outside his apartment every day to get his daily dose of her. An instant serotonin boost. 

One Friday night, well into the season, Eren sits on the couch in front of the TV, watching a K-drama he’s hooked on. He finished a bowl of pasta for dinner and is indulging in ice cream when he hears a knock on his door. 

He cracks it open cautiously. To his delight, it’s her. “Hi neighbor. Can I hang out here for a bit?”

It takes a while to process. Is he dreaming? He pulls himself together and opens the door for her, inviting her in. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just that my roommate and her boyfriend are having a heated argument right now and I’m almost certain it’s going to lead to some very loud and angry sex. I don’t want to be there to listen to it.” She plops down on the couch. “I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“Not at all. I was just watching TV. Do you want some ice cream?”

“Sure!”

He rummages through his freezer, retrieving a particular carton of ice cream. As he scoops it into a bowl, she comments, “I didn’t expect you to be a fan of K-dramas.” She’s looking at the paused screen on the television, an amused expression on her face.

He passes her the bowl and takes a seat on the opposite side of the couch, an appropriate distance for two ex-lovers to be in. “I recently got into it. I can see why people are so obsessed with them. Especially the romance ones.”

She takes a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. “Yum. This is my favorite. Thank you.”

There’s no point in revealing to her that he knows this already. She mentioned it once during spring semester. He wanted to try it himself, see why she adored it so much. Now, he always keeps a pint of it in his freezer. Not because he expects situations like this, but because he indulges in it himself to have the tiniest connection with her. It also helps that it is, in fact, yummy.

“So I’m guessing that you don’t get along with your roommate?” he asks, finishing the last bites of his melting ice cream.

“We get along fine. I just didn’t expect her and her boyfriend to be so loud. Especially during sex. It’s very distracting.”

“When you’re caught up in the heat of the moment, it’s easy to forget about everything and everybody else surrounding you,” he says. In the worst timing ever, he recalls their passionate nights, never holding back with each other. 

She turns to look at him, a gleam in her eyes that sends his heart racing. “Yeah. You’re right.”

Is he imagining all of this? This pleasant vibe in the air? 

He hastily grabs the remote and resumes the show, ending any more talk about sex. They finish the episode and watch one more before she deems it safe to return to her place. 

“Thanks again for letting me come over. And for the ice cream.”

“Of course. I’m here anytime you need me.” The words slip out sooner than he can actually think it through. He panics, fearing he took a monumental step backwards.

Instead, she responds, “Okay. I’ll hold you to that.” Eren watches her leave and waits for the soft thud of her door shutting to close his.

Cheeks hot, perspiration beading on his forehead, he slides down the door and sits on the floor, burying his face in his sweaty palms.

His mom is right. This is dangerous. 

~~~

The summer session is nearing the end. It goes by much faster than you expect. This is largely thanks to your next-door neighbor slash friend slash ex-lover Eren Jaeger. For a situation so complicated and messy, it’s been easy being with him, as friends.

It’s gotten to a point where you’re at his apartment nearly every weekend, usually watching a random show or movie. He’ll offer you whatever meal he can whip up in the kitchen on the fly; other nights you’ll order delivery or take-out from a local restaurant. And every dinner ends with three scoops of your favorite ice cream. 

On some weekdays, you’ll wake up early to get breakfast together at the dining hall. You’ve since unblocked his number from your phone, so either he’ll text you, “Breakfast?” or you’ll knock on his door, knowing he’s already awake.

Not wanting to make the same mistakes as last year, you tell your friends everything, to which you get plenty of opinions about from them. Annie in particular isn’t shy to call you dumb for falling for the same trap again. In your defense, it doesn’t feel stressful this time around. What do either you or Eren gain from spending time together, besides companionship? Without sex being involved, could the two of you truly become friends? At this rate, you’re confident that you can. 

The Friday leading into finals, you leave the library close to 1 AM. You got caught up finishing a paper for one of your classes, not realizing how late it is. The walk to your apartment isn’t far. However, being alone in the after-midnight darkness adds a level of creepiness that unsettles you. You slide your keys between your knuckles as a makeshift weapon and stroll directly under each lamp post for a sense of security. 

When you arrive at the apartment complex, there’s a figure slouched at the bottom of the staircase leading up to your floor. You recognize him as one of the residents of the apartments. As you pass him on the steps, he grabs your ankle. 

“Hey, can you help me?” His speech is slurred; he’s drunk.

Alarmed at his unwanted touch, you tug your foot away from him, muttering, “Sorry. No.” You hustle up the stairs, hoping he stays slumped there.

You hear shuffling as he cries out, “Come on! I locked myself out! Public Safety is taking forever. Let me stay in your apartment for a bit.” 

He’s on your tail. Nervous for him to see which apartment you’re living in, you stop in front of the laundry room, reaching for the phone in your pocket. “I said no. I don’t know you.”

“I’m Floch. I’ve seen you around. You’re a Sigma Nu Kappa. I bet you’re an easy fuck.” He grabs you by the wrist aggressively, causing you to drop your phone onto the ground.

“Let go of me asshole!” On instinct, you kick him between the legs, directly in the balls.

He grunts, doubling over, clutching his hopefully shattered jewels. “You fucking bitch,” he spits out through gritted teeth. 

Quickly, you retrieve your fallen phone and sprint to your room, desperate to hide from him. Shaking, you can’t get your keys into the lock. From your peripheral, you see him get back up slowly, limping towards you, holding onto his crotch like some perverted zombie. You continuously press the lock button on your phone, attempting to trigger the SOS signal as he closes the distance.

Suddenly, the next door swings open and Eren hovers over Floch, growling, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Your assailant shrinks, waving his hands in front of him in a pathetic surrender. “Whoa…Nothing man, I wasn’t doing anything.”

“You owe her an apology.”

“Huh? She’s the one who kicked my nuts – ’

“Did I fucking stutter? Apologize to her. Right fucking now, dipshit.” 

“Okay, okay.” He peeks around Eren’s massive form to apologize. “I’m sorry.”

You don’t speak, staring at them in a catatonic state. 

Eren steps forward, towering over him. “Now get the fuck away from her and wait outside your own goddamn apartment. And if you bother her again, I won’t be so nice.”

Without another word, Floch hobbles off, heading upstairs to the third level.

Eren looks at you, expression switching immediately from outrage to concern. “Are you okay?”

You’re still trembling as you nod. “Yeah. I’m…I’m okay.”

“Did he hurt you?” 

“No. I kicked him in the balls before he could do anything.” You turn the handle to open the door, which you finally manage to get unlocked. “Thank you. That was…crazy.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I heard your voice from outside and I knew something was wrong. I’m glad I came out when I did.”

“Me too.” For some reason, you’re nervous to look at him, so you keep your focus on the ground. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thank you again.”

“It was nothing. Seriously. I’m here anytime you need me.”

You stand, frozen in place with fear and adrenaline coursing through your veins. Eren’s voice, despite being beside you, seems distant.

“You’re shaking,” he notices, watching you carefully.

“Yeah, I’m just…I don’t know. I wish my roommate was here. I don’t want to be alone right now.” Unfortunately, Hannah decided last minute to study for finals at her boyfriend’s this weekend.

After a moment of contemplation, he says, “You can stay at my place. Until you’re feeling better.”

“Are you sure? You don’t feel weird about this?” 

“No. We’re friends. Right?” It’s more of a question he wants confirmed, unsure himself. 

You smile at him. “Yes. Friends.” 

~~~

He leads her inside his apartment, waving over to the couch. “I’ll be back. I’m going to get a pillow and a blanket.”  

Prior to heading into his bedroom, he goes into the bathroom, staring at his reflection in the mirror. She’s in his apartment in the middle of the night, and he’s almost certain she will be sleeping here. She’s scared and traumatized from that asshole who attacked her, and she didn’t want to be alone, so he offered to help. 

Has he crossed the line? Is this okay?

Back downstairs, he hands her a pillow and throw blanket. “Here you go. Let me know if you need anything else.” 

He’s ready to march right upstairs, slam his door shut, and pretend that this is all totally normal. That he’s totally fine. This is what friends do. They help each other. And that’s what they are now. Friends.

“Wait.”

She looks at him, eyes precious, innocent, and sweet. Arms wrapped tightly around the pillow. It has him melting like ice cream on a hot summer day. 

“Can you…stay with me a while?”

He swallows loudly, nervous and excited all at once. “Of course.”

She smiles softly, laying on the cushion with the blanket surrounding her. He kneels on the floor beside her, still in awe that this is happening. 

“It smells like you,” she says, nose pressed into the pillow. 

He laughs. “Is that a good or a bad thing?” 

“Good. It smells good.”

It’s too much. He’s about to explode from glee. On the edge of the couch, he rests his arm, laying his head on it, gazing at her. He wants to brush the hair away from her forehead. Caress her delicate cheek with his hand. “Are you okay?”

“Still a little freaked out.” 

“We should report it. I’ll let Onyankopon know now – ”

“We can talk to him in the morning. I don’t want to be left alone right now.” Her hand sneaks out from under the covers, inches from his. There’s electricity flickering in the small space. It jolts throughout his body, firing synapses into his brain. 

“Can I hold your hand?” she asks, voice trembling.

He’s convinced he’s dreaming now. There’s no way this is happening. But it is. She’s here in front of him. As real as ever.

He hesitates, “Are you sure?” 

She nods, carefully sliding her hand over his. 

Everything plays in slow motion. They press their palms together slowly, fingertips lined up perfectly, skin-on-skin igniting the ember that still remains from months ago. Savoring this moment before it gets taken away. Their fingers interlock, fitting seamlessly as if they belong exactly like this.

Breathless, he asks again, “Are you sure this is okay?” His whole body vibrates from the palpations overwhelming his chest, still in disbelief this is actually happening. 

“Yes, Eren.” Her voice is soft, supple. It soothes him, makes him feel at peace. 

“I don’t want to rush this.”

“Me neither.” 

They remain in this position for a while, cherishing it for all it’s worth. So much is communicated between them without speaking. It’s in the eyes, their touch. The warmth that she emits, filling him up with euphoria he can’t find elsewhere.

It’s different this time. It’s right. He’ll do everything in his power not to mess it up again. His word lost all value the second he used it against her. So instead of telling her how he feels, he has to show her. Prove to her that he’s no longer afraid.

~~~

“Can I show you something?” He looks at you tenderly, eyes sparkling like brilliant emeralds unearthed through the dust. 

Curious, you agree, giving him your full attention, a flutter in your belly from the anticipation. 

He places your palm over his chest, holding you gently against him. Through the cotton of his shirt, you feel his heart pounding hard and fast. 

“This is how I feel about you. This is what you do to me.”

You keep steady, relishing the rhythmic thumping of his heartbeat. Understanding exactly what he’s trying to convey to you. 

The two of you were always lost in translation, unsure how the other felt, what the other wanted. You were on different pages, sometimes even in two different worlds. Somehow, someway, you are brought together again, now in the same orbit, revolving one other like the universe intended it. 

Your story with Eren has already been written. It began at the start of fall semester, almost a year ago, and ended a few months later, before the bitter cold of winter. There are no rewrites, no rewinds to change the events that occurred. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, a chance at love was lost. Far from a fairytale ending.

Maybe this is the beginning of the sequel, a story about two people who are far from perfect finding their way back to each other for one last shot. Picking up the shattered fragments to build something beautiful from the ground up, piece by piece. There may be cracks or missing parts throughout. In the end, maybe it’ll be a masterpiece you can both be proud of, flaws and all. 

----------

End Note: Thank you for all of you who have taken the time to read Rush the whole way through. It’s been such a fun ride and I hope it was worth it. The love and support I’ve gotten throughout means so much to me, I can’t thank you enough! I have a few ideas about what I want to write next, so stay tuned! 

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Tag List: @jaegerxeren @thelovewitch0v0 @hippiecultz @silver-foxling-blog @eren-slut @littlelaur27 @mokyowife @thenamesaceee @mxnst3rz @itswhits @diamandveins @ritzzberitzz @xartisticoutletx @izukusupreme @erensfavblackie @tippy-toes @monbebe101 @crtzrulestheworld @maqqiekwon @where-the-blackbirds-sing @minibold @hilichurl01 @jbird0508 @rainzelenia @anonbbygirlsblog @prettygirllisa @ctrllovre @4522-08 @laiorelle @pompompurjin @inbriannawestrust @alicebleu @sparkles-and-rust @neopussytechnology @kpopisbaeforever @kindmarely @weasleyisourking1 @taqsyq @guesswhosback129 @shinisthebest @hiromihanagaki @therarestruby @lovinghirotaka

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I (22F) was roommates with a friend (20F) and got in a huge fight with her over my boyfriend (26M) being in our shared room.

I've been friends with her since the beginning of uni before we were roommates and we shared a room in an apartment with two other friends (more mine than hers). We have different personalities, I tend to be direct and confrontational while she's usually more quiet and a bit of a pushover, but we got along because of similar family and financial situations and shared interests.

I also have a long distance boyfriend who I met while he studied abroad at my uni, and though we were only dating for less than half a year at the time, we were very serious (and still are) about our relationship and made plans for him to stay with me for a couple months close to winter break. I told my roommate about this and she gave a hesitant response that she wasn't comfortable with him sleeping in our room but I persisted and she told me okay.

Of course I compromised. My friend had disclosed some of her previous trauma with men with me before, so I tried to compromise by saying he won't be staying at the apartment overnight and won't be in the room when she's there. However, a month before he was scheduled to come she goes back and says she wasnt comfortable at ALL with him being in our room. She knew she was being unreasonable and apologized and told me she would think of another compromise before my boyfriend got here that we could both agree with.

I thought that was stupid but I was tired with other personal problems and school that I just agreed to listen to her compromises. She proposes something even more tedious saying that he couldn't be in the room past eight pm and that the closet door had to be shut if he was in the room, and I was tired of the whole thing so I agreed to that compromise.

I kept it for the first week. I forgot to close the closet door now and again but she didn't seem to mind or notice. She acted super uncomfortable around my boyfriend which bothered me a lot, and because of her eight pm rule I had a hard time spending time with him so i spent a lot of nights sleeping on the livingroom floor just so I could be by my boyfriend.

One night, my boyfriend and I took a nap on my own bed for once when my roommate was getting home late, and I didn't wake up in time when she came in around midnight. She saw us in the room and was shocked. I was honest with her and I told her I didn't agree with her "compromise" and it wasn't fair to me when I was paying rent on this room too. She started crying so my boyfriend and I left for the living room to spend another night out there AGAIN.

My roommate packed some things the next day and spent that night at a friend's dorm from what I've heard. She then confronted me saying we should talk so I agreed and we had two mutual friends with us to make sure everyone was being fair. She said that I surprised her a lot that night and that she felt wronged that I suddenly did that without notice. I told her quite bluntly that she needed to grow up because she wasnt the perfect roommate either and barely did any chores around the apartment. A bit harsh, but she's a bit childish in that she's immature and sensitive, and it was true that she didn't do much.

She ended the conversation shortly after in tears saying it wasn't "productive". My friends let me know what I said was out of line and I agreed with them and apologized to her afterwards, but she said she didn't want to have another discussion until the semester was finished so we walked on eggshells around eachother for a couple weeks until winter break.

The conversation after winter break wasn't any more productive than before. She said some things that implied I bullied her into agreeing on the initial compromise and that I was insensitive to her trauma and her "safe space". It wasn't fair to me at all, because it was my home too and I'm allowed to be comfortable in my own space with my loved ones and I would never do this to her if it was her mom or potential girlfriend so I don't understand why she was giving me this much shit for her rigid "compromise". It was MY APARTMENT too, and I told her as much that I tried my best to compromise when I could've just had my boyfriend staying in my room the whole time instead. And then she insinuated that my boyfriend and I made her feel "unsafe" and that I hurt her on purpose. It's true that I didn't feel sorry about breaking the compromise, but it wasnt a fair one to begin with. The conversation didn't get better from there until it ended.

Now we barely talk to eachother. We live in another house together that we signed the lease for before this all went down, though this time in separate rooms. She actively avoids me and though I honestly don't care about that it is making the house a bit of a toxic place. It's been like a year since this whole thing started and I'd like to put it behind but thats hard to do when she acts like I'm the bad guy. Am I really the asshole here? My friends have been sympathetic but haven't given me a straight answer so I want to know.

What are these acronyms?

[raineandsky]

#87

The hero shoves the villain into a seat at an agency desk in cuffs and abandons them there. The most of the outside world they’ve seen since they got here a month ago. “Where’s my supposed visitor then?” the villain snaps.

The hero ignores him in favour of walking back through the agency. Naturally.

They’re starting to suspect this is a test—left alone, apparently waiting for someone, the double-doored exit right in front of them? Come on—when the hero returns with someone in tow. Young, an absolute nerd, and not in cuffs. A citizen. 

The villain scowls as the hero gestures him into the chair opposite with a lot more grace than the villain ever gets the luxury of seeing. She has to keep up appearances to the innocents, they assume.

“Hello,” the civilian opens. Oh, he speaks like a nerd, too. This should be interesting.

“You have half an hour,” the hero says, pointedly aiming it at the civilian. “I’ll come back then.”

He nods and with that she’s off. The civilian adjusts his glasses on his nose for a moment. The villain stares at him in the hopes that they can unnerve him into submission.

“I’m studying psychology at the city university,” he says after an awkward pause. “I’m in need of a case study for my dissertation. I thought someone like yourself would make a good person to examine for my report.”

Clearly he’s had that little script written up somewhere. He throws them a smile, lopsided with nerves, and the villain scowls in response.

“I thought human experimentation was frowned on with the do-gooders,” the villain says shortly. That breaks the civilian out of his clearly practised speech; he positively blanches at the insinuation.

“Wh– I– It’s not experimentation.” The last word comes out like a swear—hushed, spat out like a bad taste. “I’d like you to be the subject of my dissertation. I want to be a therapist, you see.”

“A therapist,” the villain echoes flatly. “What, you’re going to CBT me into being an outstanding citizen?”

The civilian laughs, slightly. He seems like he’s not entirely sure if he’s meant to laugh at that. “If you’re open to it.”

“I’d love to see you try.”

The civilian leans back with a huff, resting an open notebook on his knee like a journalist. “So, where’d your interest in crime start?”

“Do I not get an incentive?” The villain tuts with dramatic annoyance. “You want me to tell you my tragic backstory for free?”

The civilian sits with that for a moment. His pen taps rather irritably against his book. Then, a ghost of a smile, a lot less lopsided than before and a lot more confident than the villain likes.

“If you give me something of note I could” — he waves his hands about rather broadly — “theoretically advocate for you. Prove that none of this is your fault and get you released.”

The villain was expecting him to offer a bag of sweets or something. That’s not an incentive to talk, it’s a goddamn reason.

The villain clears their throat. Shuffles on their rickety little chair. Heaves a deep breath.

“Well,” the villain starts, and everything that comes out of their mouth after it is a lie.

Why wouldn’t it be? This kid’s stupid if he thinks a villain is going to let him pin them down as a person. Besides, they don’t need to be studied—they like crime and they like doing it even more. Not exactly a mysterious case needing to be psychoanalysed.

The civilian hangs onto every word though, the naive kid he is. He scrawls notes furiously the entire time the villain’s talking, nodding enthusiastically and asking more questions here and there. The villain entertains him as much as they entertain themself.

“Half hour’s up,” the hero drawls upon her return. The civilian hops up with half a notebook of scribbles and a beaming smile. The villain would feel bad if they cared.

“Thank you, [Villain],” he says brightly, clearly ecstatic to have a villain on his side. “It’s been a pleasure meeting you. I’m excited to work together.”

“Pleasure’s all yours,” the villain says plainly, and with another unsure laugh the civilian turns on his heel and sets off. The hero takes on the brave duty of lugging the villain back to their dingy little cell.

The villain has no intention of changing, of course. The civilian’s little project will be a fun way to pass the time. If they just make note of the tale they’re weaving, they can tell him the most ludicrous stories and he’ll fall for them hook line and sinker.

Makes for good entertainment in an agency prison, after all.

[thislovintime]

The Monkees with CFUN DJ's Terry David Mulligan and John Tanner in Vancouver, April 1, 1967.

“Regina: CKCK’s Terry David Mulligan claims to be the first Canadian air personality with an interview with the Monkees and he has a tape to prove it. Anyone wishing a copy can take Mulligan up on his boast by sending him a blank tape and he will return a dub to sender. Terry also did a 30 minute Christmas show with Peter Tork, his sister and brother. They sang cuts from the Monkees new LP (Mulligan sings too)[,] sang a few carols and just chit-chatted in a relaxing mood.” - RPM Canada, January 28, 1967 (this Christmas 1966 anecdote was previously posted here and more about Christmas 1967 here)

“History records that The Monkees played their first Canadian concert in Winnipeg on April 1/1967. What never gets mentioned is that the first time all four Monkees set foot on Canuck soil was many hours earlier, in Vancouver, while en route to Manitoba’s capital city. Top 50 radio station CFUN assigned two deejays—Terry David Mulligan and John Tanner—to meet Micky Dolenz, Davy Jones, Michael Nesmith and Peter Tork at Vancouver International Airport. A photo op ensued in a private waiting area as the lads waited, shortly after sunrise, to board a connecting flight. 'If you study that picture, you could tell two of the guys (Davy and Peter) were really into it and the other two (Micky and Mike) didn’t really want to be there,' recalls Mulligan (second from right in photo). 'They weren’t pissed off at us. They were just tired and weren’t particularly into having their picture taken that early in the morning.' Nevertheless, all six exchanged pleasantries. Despite the early hour, Davy Jones seemed friendly and 'Mike Nesmith was so whip smart, while Micky Dolenz had this interesting Hollywood vibe about him,' remembers Mulligan. Terry and Peter got the opportunity to renew acquaintances. The previous year, when Mulligan was spinning discs at CJME Regina, 'who should walk in but Peter Tork. Of course, I asked: "What are YOU doing here?" And Peter answered: "My dad (Halsten John Thorkelson) teaches at the University of Saskatchewan and I dig your radio program."' Peter would take a couple of additional breaks from Monkees commitments to visit his family. Each time, he’d visit Mulligan at CJME. 'We’d always have really good off-air chats, in between as I was playing records.' For his part, CFUN deejay John Tanner (second from left in photo) boarded the plane bound for Winnipeg with The Monkees. 'I remember being at the tail of the plane while The Monkees and their entourage were much further forward. I walked up there at one point and noticed some of them were sleeping. So I went back to my seat as I didn’t want to bother anyone.' Prior to the late afternoon Monkees concert at the Winnipeg Arena, Tanner said he killed some time walking 'what seemed to be the coldest streets in Winnipeg.' Indeed, band insider David Price would mention the frigid 17 degrees Fahrenheit daytime temperature when he subsequently wrote a four-page article titled My Life With The Monkees—That Wild Canadian Weekend for 16 magazine that detailed the April 1 concert in Winnipeg and the ensuing show in Toronto on April 2. Price, who also served as a decoy for Davy Jones (in addition to other band duties), claimed The Monkees came to Canada aware of rumours that attempts might be made on their lives during the two concerts. In the 16 magazine piece, Price wrote: 'Mike asked me and his friend Charlie Rockett and Mike’s wife Phyllis’s brother Bruce Barbour to make sure that any packages that landed onstage were thrown off again, because one of them might contain a bomb.' In the end, the only ‘bomb’ at the Winnipeg show was a water bomb hurled at Micky Dolenz atop the seven-foot high stage just before opening song Last Train To Clarksville. Seconds before, the four Monkees burst out of phoney amplifiers on either side of the stage, with the boys having hidden themselves within when the house lights were momentarily turned off. Likely backing up The Monkees onstage was Candy Store Prophets. If so, that band’s members—including guitarist Tommy Boyce and keyboardist Bobby Hart—had played on many early Monkees studio tracks that Boyce and Hart produced. Winnipeg-based Electric Jug & Blues band opened the show. Press reports later revealed that before the concert, rambunctious fans charged past about 30 police officers as the band left the Hotel Fort Garry for the arena. Monkees publicist Don Berrigan described the incident as a 'near riot' adding 'Mike and Davy were knocked down. It was really nasty.' There were apparently well over 400 police and security inside the arena. Perhaps it was the security concerns that resulted in Winnipeg and Toronto fans receiving slightly shorter concerts than about a dozen previous American shows in late 1966 and early ‘67—13-song setlists, three less than south of the border. The Winnipeg concert marked the first time Peter Tork-sung Your Auntie Grizelda, was played publicly. 'He really dug it, and so did the audience,' wrote Price. [...] Back in Winnipeg, after final song I’m A Believer, the band rushed to limos to return to the hotel, before taking an evening flight to Toronto. A subsequent Canadian Press article noted that one policeman was taken to hospital after a wire retaining fence collapsed on him when 'thousands of fans surged towards the rear exits in an unsuccessful bid to catch a glimpse of their departing idols.' The officer was treated for cuts and abrasions and released. The official capacity of Winnipeg Arena was 11,800. But Price claimed that several hundred additional tickets were sold just before showtime, resulting in an attendance closer to 12,500. Later that Saturday night, The Monkees checked out of the hotel and headed to the airport in what Price described as near-blizzard conditions. For his part, CFUN deejay John Tanner got a kick out of the 'wild and crazy' show he had just witnessed. 'It was kind of a thrill being there.' The photo taken back in Vancouver earlier that day would be published in the April 8 copy of the C-FUNTASTIC FIFTY survey given away at Greater Vancouver record stores. Part of the photo ID read 'They said it couldn’t be done' — likely a veiled reference to doubts that The Monkees would trek north for concerts so soon into their existence.” - Richard Skelly, Facebook, April 1, 2022 [x]

[lbulldesigns]

UPDATE (1 Month Later): AITAH For accusing my former best friend of trying to break up my relationship, and promptly ending our thirteen-year-long friendship?

Posted June 20th, 2021

TDLR: I (18M) allowed himself to get gaslit into believing that my best friend of 13 years was being toxic and possessive, and threw said friendship away without a second thought. And realized, too late, how stupid and rash I was being and now can't make things right because she ran away from home.

It's been a month since I last posted here, and have been getting comments asking for an update. I initially decided to not post here anymore, but figured that the people who showed genuine concern for Pow deserved an update.

Sorry for the silence, the past month has been emotionally taxing, to say the least, I'll try and keep this post short but fear it might be long.

So my last update ended with me at an Enforcers station with Pow's family, Van had managed to get hold of his best friend, who is also Pow, and Daisy's maternal uncle, to inform him and his wife about Pow's disappearance. The uncle appeared at the station shortly after getting off his flight, the two were on vacation and came home as soon as they found out Pow was gone, and went straight to the Enforcer at the front desk and just hands him a piece of paper.

I don't know what was on that paper, but suddenly the officer was super cooperative and calling the sheriff down to meet us.

There was a lot of back and forth between everyone, I honestly wasn't paying attention. But the uncle wasn't happy with how the whole situation was being handled, he was incensed with Van for not making sure Pow was where he expected her to be sooner, and was snappy with Daisy (for reasons I wasn't privy to).

He then turned his anger onto me and started interrogating me on how foolish I was and he wasn't pulling his punches, this man has a sharp tongue and a talent to hit where it hurts the most. He only stopped when his wife put a hand on his arm and just gave him a look, she then gave me a pitying look and he decided he was done with me then and there.

Long story short the sheriff stated that there was nothing they could legally do to search for Pow because she was 18 and had by all accounts left voluntarily, that they could put out a missing person for her in the hopes of performing a wellness check but considering she had gone home and taken some of her belongings and paperwork, the chances she'll hurt herself are slim and they couldn't waste resources looking for someone who doesn't want to be found.

We were confused for a second but then it was revealed that Cat, Daisy's GF, knows the sheriff (I didn't care to ask how) and had told her that her and Daisy had gone through Pow's room and found she had left her phone behind, as well as a note, and that some of her belongings were gone.

There was a lot of arguing going on at this point, mostly between Van and Daisy with him asking why she didn't say something to HIM earlier, but by this point I was checking out and only checked back in when Benny (my godfather) gently shook my shoulder to get my attention.

Everyone was looking at me, as if waiting for me to answer a question or something. Cat didn't say anything and handed Pow's phone to me, to show me something and what I saw made my whole body cold and numb.

There were chat logs between Pow and Kara, where Kara was being her "sweet self" and buddying up to Pow thanking her for her help with tutoring her for their science class. Apparently Pow was helping Kara with her studies because she was falling behind in science, and Kara was using this as an opportunity to become friends with Pow.

This would have been a good thing, except Kara was "helping" Pow realise her feelings for me, and encouraging her to confess her to me. She wasn't letting on that her and I were interested in each other, if anything she kept talking about me as if I were just an acquantance, a friend of a friend she says. I paid attention to the dates on every message and noticed when Pow finally decided to "take a leap of faith" and confess to me, was the same day Kara confessed she really liked me and asked if we could be offcial.

I felt sick and numb at the same time, I handed the phone back to Cat and then pulled my own out and unlocked it for everyone else to look through. I didn't say anything the whole time.

Everythign after that is a blur, everyone stood around talking but I didn't pay attention. Benny took me home but I didn't say anything. And when we got home, I just went to bed and didn't get out for a week.

Benny had called my school and told them that I was sick, and organised for my schoolwork to be delivered to my home so that I could catch up when I was feeling better. But I kinda just gave up on everything, my best friend was gone because of me and none of us could go look for her.

After a week, Clag (Pow's eldest brother) came into my room, took one look at me, sighed and then proceeded to fireman carry me out of my room and into the living room. Where Van, Daisy, and Zer were, to give me an intervention. They were worried for me and didn't want me to spiral further than I already was, Van told me that I made a dumb mistake but none of this was solely my fault, and that there were many contributing factors at play, and that giving up on everything wasn't going to help anyone let alone Pow.

I didn't fully believe him but a large weight had been taken off of my chest, Daisy said that she was there to talk at any point if I needed to and that she wasn't angry at me, she said that I was just as much a victim here as Pow, that the real person at fault was Kara.

I'll be honest I had completely forgotten about her at that point, and stupidly felt guilty for ignoring my GF before remembering that she was the drivng force behind everything. Suddenly I felt angry and sick all over again.

Zer noticed my change in mood and filled me in on what had happened at school, about how my friends and Kara had been planning on how to "get back" at Pow only for her to never turn up to school, and then I didn't turn up and wasn't picking up any of their calls.

She told me how she was in the girls toilets, hiding in one of the stalls trying to get hold of either me or Pow, when she heard Kara and her friends come in and listened to Kara bitching about how she couldn't get her "revenge" on that "blue haired bitch".

Kara had organised for half the school to meet up at the front of it, with half rotten tomatoes, ready to throw at Pow when she showed up. But she never did, and it spoilt the "fun" for Kara. One of her friends was being "comforting" and reminded Kara of the little gifts left in Pow's locker, Zer couldn't get a idea of what they emant because they were being vague.

One of the girls, apparently had an actual braincell and morsel of conscience, and asked if maybe Pow didn't actually know and if this wasn't a bit much. Kara actually groaned and said that "that was the point" and that everything worked out much better than she expected because of what a "simp" I am.

There are no words to describe how I'm feeling, even now. I want to say angry but that feels like an understatement, I probably shouldn't direct all my anger at Kara, I should never have been swayed, but the difference is that Kara had meticuosly planned this like a complete sociopath.

I wanted to get back at her, but I also did't want to be worse than her. So I did the only thing I could think of. I dumped her over text. I just said "I know everything. We're done" and then blocked her number, after saving screenshots of her messages. She never said anything obviously incrimidating, but I felt it was worth doing so anyway.

I also told Zer about the messages between Pow and Kara, and Zer just said "leave it to me". She also told me that she wanted to still stay friends, but that she wouldn't hold back in any ass whooping in the future if I got stupid again.

For now, Benny has organised for me to take an extended leave from school on the condition that I do all of my schooling online. He also organised with Pow's aunt for me to volunteer at the food drive and community centre she runs, I'm thankful for how much of a caring person she is. She adores Pow and is disappointed in me for my actions, but she's also a forgiving person and believes in second chances.

I'm sorry for the long post, this will be the last post I make about all of this. I wish that it could have ended with Pow coming home, and everything being well again but it isn't.

She's still gone, but knwing that she took money, clothes, and necessary paperwork with her makes me hopeful that she'll take care of herself. She's an incredibly intelligent person afterall, maybe one day I'll see her in collage or run into her on the street.

But until then, I'll work on myself. Better myself. And hopefully grow to be a better man, than I was a boy.

Thank you to everyone who simultaneuoly kicked some sense into me, and showed support throughout all of this.

Take care.

[toffee4you]

Tooth Fairy—-- Confessing

Content: GN!reader, reader is implied shy, kissing (very light). Overall pretty vanilla.

This is mostly just an excuse to make my first post (I need a writing example TT), so I decided to go with something more relaxed. It's basically just one headcanon in a oneshot fanfic format. Enjoy!

Confessing

Tooth Fairy knows about your interest in her.

It's mutual, and she's not afraid to be honest about it, but she would like you to at least make an attempt at confessing first. She will try to help you along by dropping hints—namely, being a bit more touchy than usual. During general checkups, she'll let her hands rest around your palms and wrists, giving them gentle squeezes or rubbing light circles on them with her thumb. Tooth Fairy doesn't say a word, but only proceeds with the checkup after deciding she's spent enough time there. If it's a dental checkup? She'll take her time brushing back your hair, making sure to tuck any stray strands behind your ears. Usually, you would do these types of things for yourself, yet she begins to insist on it for every appointment. Afterwards, she'll give you a pat on the head and maybe a few words of appraisal for being cooperative during your checkup. It's not too intimate, but there's definitely signs.

If you are still uncertain about confessing, even after all of her hints, she'll just have to be a bit more confrontational about it. You'll receive a call to her office either on break time or after work, so it's unmistakable that this isn't just an appointment. When you arrive, you'll almost immediately notice Tooth Fairy's more casual attire; the same, peaceful look is adorning her face, but her overcoat is hung over the back of her chair and her braces are removed.

She will calmly gesture you to sit down across of her, folding her hands on her lap shortly after. By this time, you either have one more chance to confess or else she'll just have to fish it out of you... And being the bundle of nerves you are, the dentist finally lets a smile curl at the corner of her lips before speaking for you.

“You can be honest. Do you like me?”

She will ask as calmly and softly as she can, though she doesn't need to try that hard considering her naturally smooth voice. Your answer comes out hesitant at first, worst-case scenarios and self doubts causing you to mutter a "...Maybe." rather than a solid answer. She can tell by your dodgy eyes that you're still anxious, so she'll help you out a bit more. She doesn't mind, it's just that she wants to hear the one special word of affirmation from your mouth, and she's just that close to coaxing it out of you.

“Ah, that's a shame. I was quite interested in you myself, but if your feelings aren't as strong as mine, I don't mind wai--”

It only took that one sentence to make you panic. If her feelings were mutual after all, you definitely didn't want to wait any longer. The tension might just kill you... Though she would definitely make a lighthearted tease at that dramatic notion if you said it out loud. You didn't waste another second before spurting out a near-incoherent confession, stringing together whatever words first came to mind. Whatever you said, it was definitely a confession that would come to haunt you for a while out of embarrassment, but Tooth Fairy thought it was cute.

Standing up from her chair, she places a hand on your cheek, the other running through your hair as her face lowered to yours. She made sure to take it slow and steady, studying your features carefully before finally going in for the kiss. You could feel her lips leave just a featherlight peck on yours, yet it was enough to leave you practically immobilized in shock for a few minutes.

What an eventful day...

[kalolasfantasyworld]

There's no chapter this week, but I wanted to post a little something. Here you have a drawing of Helena I did back in September, but I just never got around to posting it.

I was discovering my art style back then and tried a bit more realistic one connected to some pop art.

I finally decided to do her character profile ;)

It includes some Paper Hearts spoilers, because you find out all of this through out the fic (if you are caught up with chapter 23, you're perfectly fine). This is her background before the plot of Paper Hearts.

Helena's profile

Basic Information:

Name: Princess Helena Drazel

Age: 25

Birthday: November 18

Sign: Scorpio

Blood Type: AB

Love Interest: Nozel Silva (this happens through Paper Hearts...)

Birthplace: Diamond Kingdom's capital

Current Location: Clover Kingdom's capital

Affinity: Paper magic

Voice claim: Mandy Moore Rapunzel

Appearance:

Height: 167 cm

Eyes: Dark brown

Hair: Chocolate brown, wavy and usually let loose. For formal events she tends to put it up in a bun, or other fancy hairstyle. She ties in a low braid for practice.

Clothing: Helena loves simple and sophisticated clothing. She usually wears longs dresses, appropriate for her Royal status. Classical Drazel household dress i a maxi empire style one, with a low neckline and bare shoulders. It has a brown belt going below the bust. However when Helena spends her evenings in the library she likes to put on soft pants and blouses. For practice she wears a red shirt, with dark leather pants and black boots. Additionally while working as a healer she wears hospital clothes, a white blazer with blue trimmings and white pair of pants.

Personality:

Helena is a cheerful and charming person, very much a dreamer. She loves to make silly jokes, fool around and tease, when she feels comfortable. She is outspoken and knows how to behave in social situations, due to long years of court etiquette lessons. Helena is very curious and a bit nosy, which sometimes can be bothering. However it usually comes form her deep sense of caring for others, another reason for why she became a healer. She likes to gossip and know what's going on. She is stubborn, quite feisty and not afraid to speak her mind, or bite back. Sometimes she can go overboard and is not able to control her sharp tounge, ending up hurting people in the process. She is also known for her low patience and tends to take things personally. Helena is still a princess and can act spoiled from time to time.

Background:

The eldest child of the seven Royal Drazel siblings. Helena was raised in the Drazel territory in Diamond kingdom by both of her loving parents. Her mother Luciana comes from Clover Raque and used to be best friends with Acier Silva in their youth. Her father is a member of one of Diamond's Royal houses, but his relationship with the King was severed after Helena was born. The family moved to their territory and separated themselves from politics. Because of that Helena had a fairly peaceful childhood, not comprehending the terrible crimes of her country.

She studied well and was raised, and prepared to be a respectable Lady of a House. Multiple times while Luciana was sick, she would take her mother's responsibilities and fill in.

She's never travelled and stayed her whole life in the safe embrace of Drazel Territory, so she is very excited to breakaway and study in Clover.

Some romantic background as well ;)

Helena used to be in multiple relationships, but she could not make herself to treat them seriously, because she did not love any of the men she dated. They lasted very shortly and she would break up after she noticed the men getting too attached. Her mother was very upset about her commitment issues and worried about Helena being alone in the future, so she continued on sending her daughter on blind dates with nobles. Luciana ceased during so after a big fight her and Helena had a year before Paper Hearts.

Helena and Nozel actually "met" some time after she was born, when Nozel and Acier visited the Drazel Estate (He was just 4, so he can't really remember).

Small Paper Hearts spoiler (don't read if you don't want to)

An accident in her youth, made Helena dedicated to become a healer and caused her to dislike combat. Because of that she didn't develop many fighting skills. (She's pretty bad... especially for a Royal)

Trivia:

An artist, specialises in pencil art

Loves to spend time at castle's library (Drazel estate previously, now Silva library too)

Uses spanglish around people she's comfortable with

Likes semi sweet red wine and hot tea

Knows how to run an estate better than her mother

Almost always wears red (her healer's clothes unfortunately don't have it )

Knows multiple hispanic and latino dances, such as salsa, bachata, merengue and more

Doesn't know a thing about cooking :(

Helena and her year younger brother Gabriel squabble all the time

She adores kids and loves to take care of her youngest sister Cecilia, who is jut nine

Her name means "shining light"

She uses two paper made whips and fights close distance

Her Paper Mask spell allows her to make her face unrecognisable and thus blend in with the crowd

Helena would sneak out to a small town nearby the Drazel Estate to get to know some life outside the castle

She didn't travel at all, so she's never seen the sea even though her mother was raised by it

Songs that fit her (that's a fun one):

"Unwritten" Natasha Bedinfield

"Breakaway" Kelly Clarkson

2000s Shakira!!!

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 • jack Harlow

SUMMARY: clay and jack compete on who can have more kids. Right now they're tied but not for long

GENRE: fluff

WARNING: sibling shit

PAIRING: jack Harlow x pregnant reader! Clay Harlow

AUTHOR NOTE: the women don't mind btw

Don't repost my content! It's a crime

Comments & reblogs encouraged

The competition began a couple of years back. The harlow boys wanted kids, it was nothing unexpected. They realized they wanted a couple of each, yet they didn't anticipate being competitive done over it like they were currently. Everything began with a little discussion about their future then it turned into a discussion about who could have more children. When the two of them got into a steady relationship the two of them started their battle over who could have more.

You and Jack were the first between the two couples to get pregnant. Jack was ecstatic being the first of the two to have a kid. That fervor didn't keep last for long. At the point when you were around 3 months clay's girlfriend got pregnant.

The pattern continued. After having the first you went on to have two more. Clay managed to get his girl pregnant at the same time as you did each time. Both jack and clay hated being tied. Someone needed to break the tie once and for all.

Unbeknown to jack you were pregnant again and this time with a little twist that could change their little competition forever.

-

Today you had a doctor's appointment. After dropping your kids off at school you made your way to the doctors office for your appointment to get some test.

A few days prior to this you had taken a pregnancy test due to two months of an absence period and It was positive. Like you always did you got an appointment to confirm it before you told anyone. You didn't want any false test.

A 10 minute wait went before your name was called.

“Mrs. Harlow.”

You got up and walked back to a room. They got you situated before they gave you an ultrasound.

You watched the monitor as the doctor moved the little wand around your belly. Soon enough the image of a little baby appeared, but not just one, Two did!

Your hand clasped over your mouth at the sight of the two babies.

“congratulations mama, look like your having two.”

-

Your appointment ended shortly after. You drove straight home ready to tell Jack the news. When you pulled into the driveway you noticed another car. Instantly you knew it was clay's car, he was here. You muttered a great to yourself knowing this news was going to be interesting to tell.

You parked the car in the driveway and made your way inside the house.

“hi, baby.” Jack said as he walked into the foyer. He pulled you into a hug, kissing the top of your head. “How'd the appointment go?”

“it went good.” You said once you pulled away. “I got something to tell you.”

Jack knitted his eyebrows together as he stood watching your face turn into a smirk. “You do?” You nodded.

“ok. Well clay's outside in the backyard. You wanna say it there?”

You nodded once.

You and Jack walked through the house to the back yard. You greeted clay once outside. He had came over by himself today to talk to jack about a few song things.

“so what's the news baby?” Jack sat down in the chair across from you.

“well when I went to the doctor I was told some news.” You reached for your back pocket to pull out the pictures. “But before I do this I don't want you to acting like idiots.” Your ton was serious as you looked at them both. “or I'll call Maggie and tell her to scold you.”

Both jack and clay looked at each other with a serious face before turning back to you.

You pulled out the ultrasound pictures and showed them. jack gasped. “You're pregnant?”

“yes!”

Jack bursted into laughter as he took the pictures from you. He studied the picture for a good few seconds before he lifted his head and smirked at Clay. “there's no coming back this time.”

You watched as clay rolled his eyes. He got up and snatched the picture from jack. “Why?”

His once confused face turned into a face of disappointment. “Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me. Twins!?”

Clay looked at you. You shrugged before saying, “maybe this will stop you two and your stupid little game. Now If you'll excuse me, I gotta tell some more people about this.”

You took the photos from Clay and walked back into the house. As you got further you could hear jack laughing and clay bickering. You rolled your eyes. You were hoping this was the finale of their competition.

--

I don't like this but I finished so that's good

[turtlesocksv2]

Liveblogging DFF episode 9

last time we checked in, Non was having just the Worst Time Possible, everyone was trying to cover their asses and Phi was entering into Murder/Detective Mode.

i know i've said it before but god the opening credits are SO GOOD. i don't think we appreciate them enough.

We're back in the present day! it's been so long! Tan is fucking brave to fight Fluke for the gun.

IT'S WHITE WITH THE STEEL CHAIR TRIPOD! BAH GOD THAT MAN HAD A FAMILY! love you white you're doing amazing sweetie.

...there was just a water bottle there at the shrine? and it looked opened? are you actually going to drink that? at least you smelled it first??? Ahhhh but notice Phi doesn't drink it! he lets Jin drink it but doesn't do it himself! my sus king.

"Why are you being so nice to me" i mean, dude is at least nominally your friend and you dislocated your shoulder or whatever and there's a killer out there after you guys? i think that'd be cause enough for Phi to be nice lmao. I get it though, Jin, i get it.

Aha, so we've got some timeline stuff. PhiJin absolutely happened POST PhiNon, which i had seen some intriguing theories that maybe PhiJin was actually first but this is confirmation otherwise. also that Jin very much had feelings for Phi but Phi was the one pushing the friends agenda, which we mostly knew.

Jin on that "you like Tan!" shit again, no wonder Phi didn't want to be in a relationship with your insecure self lmao. Tan is just his Bestie who helps with his Plucky Girl Detectiving, no big deal.

Once again, Jin sees things that Phi doesn't. shortly after the water. Hallucinogen maybe? guilty conscience definitely.

well that's one way to snap him out of the panic

slight detour inspired by the blood splatter everywhere in this shrine is that if the Janta Cult isn't real/doesn't play a part in this somehow, I'm going to be so upset. why bring up perfectly good murder cults if you're not going to give us the payoff? BOC? Dr Sammon I just have questions! (that said, the theory that the mafia is using the cult rumors as a front for a body dumping ground is intriguing.)

Oh ho, Phi's gonna confess everything to Jin! but will it really be everything? 👀

poor Phi is so conflicted. he's hurt, but he loves Non but he doesn't want to see him but he doesn't want to end up like his divorced parents, he can't stop thinking about it, he regrets what he said, but he still so hurt.

Non's dad got transferred. interesting.

Ooooh Phi found the picture! and the real script!

Non's mom knows Phi. I wonder if she knew they were boyfriends of if she thought they were just friends. lmao at her Ring The Doorbell You Shady Shit, Were You Raised In A Barn?

New contacting Phi as the news breaks...the drama. i love it.

Tan is New confirmed!

OOOF. major oof. "aren't you sad i'm going to England?" "Whether you're here or not doesn't make a difference" just ouch.

He may have been a Not Great brother in your life, Non, but in your death New/Tan is going to Get Answers and Get Justice! giving up a scholarship in England, lying to his parents about it...Tan is going to Fuck Shit Up.

Jin, get your 'there's a cute boy around!!!!" face under control.

Tan just dives right in to asking questions and these bitches are so fucking sus from the word 'go'. yeah, they clearly have something to do with Non disappearing.

lmao Jin does not stand a fucking chance against Phi's seduction.

i am dying at Tan's "You didn't study, dumbass" on his ankle. Top's face is Too Funny.

Aww, White waiting for Tee after school and the group roasting them is really cute.

Phi how dare you take Jin to your and Non's spot! so rude! can't trust men at all, the second you disappear he's taking another man to the place you became boyfriends.😂 Jin awkwardly trying to figure out of this means Phi likes him back is cute.

Why Jin, how bold! asking Phi to stay the night!

oh damn this is full on full on, okay. Ta's ass just out there bare. "don't worry, i won't be too harsh i don't want to dislocate your shoulder" "who fucks so hard they dislocate a shoulder?" somewhere else in Bangkok VegasPete's ears are burning. Anyway, Phi was like 'don't test me, i'm being gentle for YOUR sake.' and that's the Minor Family Theerapanyakul in Ta. i was absolutely waiting for that astronaut dog figurine to fall lmao.

Tan going for the kill with that Did You Cheat On My Brother. Tan i'm sorry but not only is your brother most likely dead but Phi and Non are actually very broken upright now, no matter how much Phi wishes neither of those were true. Phi is in the clear here re: Cheating. He is not in the clear for manipulating Jin into sleeping with him, but like, Jin's into it so whatever for now.

"Fuck him however much you want but don't fall in love. He's with those assholes so he's also an asshole" i mean! He's not wrong! Jin is a good looking nice boy he could absolutely find other friends. the fact that he stays with these fuckheads......

poor Non's parents.

these teenage boys have better skincare routines than I do and I'm

Jin just pass Phi a note in class: Do U Like Me Check Yes Or No

Ah, Jin has such bad timing. Everything about this is brutal. but lol this makes the 2nd boy in a row that Jin likes that doesn't like him back.

Tan doing chemistry shit. he's gonna be drugging everyone i just know it. also, never ever have your cellphone out in a lab and never answer it with your gloves on! Lab Safety 101!!!!

damn, Tan, you could have at least made up a part time job in england or something so that your parents didn't have to sell their house. this entire family's been ripped apart by all this shit.

and now Tan is alone. all he has is his investigation into Non and Phi his sort of brother-in-law.

oh shit, was it Tan's cigarette smoke that was causing hallucinations???! or are they the antidote to whatever Tan drugged the others with or both?

confirmation that Tan was drugging everyone!

lol Tan's face at he very end as he takes in the chaos

[aibhilin-atibeka]

I just saw an ask game :D and I do have a question that I think would be fun for you.

What actually interested you in learning multiple languages in the first place and what draws you to a language that makes you want to learn it?

Oohhhh, now that's a fun one! :D

Well. I learned my first "real true" (no, seriously, honest) foreign language at the age of 9 and I felt absolutely neutral towards it.

Meh, 'twas another subject at school, so what? XD younger!me was not specifically very interested in languages at all. I had the world to explore, after all! What's languages compared to manga? Compared to anime? Compared to books?

Compared to the real world? Darn, no, I sure am not throwing time at something I might never use again at a later date in life, see me go "nope" at languages and "yes" to life experiences.

And then my sister went and learned to fluently speak five languages somehow. It seemed very much like "all of a sudden she can speak five languages" to me. Dammit all, I had to learn at least as many, didn't I?

That - along with my school offering languages as their educational focus - helped. Still wasn't ideal, but I'd gotten that certain nudge into this direction then. And at that point my love for Japan was noticeably not fading, so I got gifted a Japanese language class. And... sort of haven't stopped learning Japanese since. Whoops?

At the same time my school offered French and in a choice between Italian and French? Sure, I'll choose French (the language sounded nicer at that time and the teacher kinder). I can learn Italian later on, once the school offers another language choice two years into the first one, right?

Right?

Wrong. Had to choose between Spanish and computer science, so no Italian for me back then. But Spanish is basically Italian on crack, isn't it? (pls don't dunk on teenage!me, teenage!me was a bit of a teenager back then) They're 1:1 understandable to one another, right? Right?

Also wrong.

But that didn't stop me from starting Italian on my own at university.

And a friend offered to teach a class of Turkish right in-between school and university, so there we went~

And university itself offers language classes too, how could I not check them out and study Hindi for a bit?

... somehow, without even consciously being aware of it, I'd accumulated a starting vocab for about twenty languages before I was twenty (how do I know that exact number at that exact age? I had to do a language autobiography collecting, chronologically listing and presenting all my language studies and some of the knowledge I'd obtained in detail for a class shortly after turning twenty).

By now it's probably stayed *roughly* the same in number (... maybe I added five to ten-ish languages since then? no clue), though I couldn't say whether or not that's simply because of where I live or what opportunities I had or what little time I've had to spend on accumulating more languages since. Life's a busy bee, sometimes, and the life of an author/linguist/leisure-social-media-scroller (tumblr I'm looking at you) feels even busier. Never mind any other engagements I have ended up in so far.

I have an ongoing interest in languages cause I find it fun to be able to communicate with the world in whatever language I can. They're a means to reading, listening and interacting with people and there's wordplay to consider. ;) In short, I find it fun.

To answer your questions:

What actually interested you in learning multiple languages in the first place

I stumbled into them like Winnie the Pooh might stumble into a pot of honey XD there was no definitive moment of "Oh, I'm interested in becoming a polyglot now" - at the point in time that I had that realisation I already was one.

and what draws you to a language that makes you want to learn it?

Depending on the language, I have different motivations for learning them:

Japanese: "stopping now makes just as much sense as a prisoner breaking out might stop in front of the 9th out of 10 walls they'd have to climb", also "I've got manga to read in Japanese just to get all the jokes in them" and "I bought and imported books from Japan that I still have to read"

French: "I still haven't read all of the Arsène Lupin series" and "from time to time the Frenchspeakers release funny movies that I wanna watch in the original language"

Italian: "darn, originally I was in this for the bit but I'm committed to learning it now with whatever means necessary"

Spanish: is "just sort of there" and "Sometimes I find articles and news pages and books I want to read that just so happen to be in Spanish, so why not read them in Spanish, I don't even need a translation"

Korean: "I want to be able to read you at one point, darn it all to hell"

etc. ad infinitum. I didn't even mention all the ones I'm fluent in here, never mind all the ones I started to learn at one point in my life, so yeah.

I love the challenge? I love the way learning languages open up a whole new world view to you as you go along? I adore being able to read yet more books by just learning a language? I love word games?

All of these and more count towards my interest in languages. :D Gotta say, languages rock. Polyglottism ftw.

@stereden cause I can

@a-knight-owls-curse thanks for the interesting ask!

[anonymousewrites]

A Study of the Heart and Brain (Book 2) Chapter Eleven

Father Figure! Sherlock Holmes x Teen! Reader

Chapter Eleven: Pub Mishaps

Summary: (Y/N) and Sherlock investigate some rumors, Lestrade appears, and the group heads back to the laboratory.

            The following morning, Sherlock headed to Henry’s with (Y/N), who had seen he was back to normal and therefore agreed to be around him again.

            A confused Henry opened his door, and Sherlock brushed past him inside. “Morning!” he said cheerfully, heading straight for the kitchen. “How are you?”

            “I’m…I didn’t sleep well,” confessed Henry.

            “What a shame. Shall we make you some coffee?” said Sherlock, already rooting through Henry’s cupboards. (Y/N) watched as he pocketed something before grabbing three mugs and putting them on the kitchen island.

            “Listen, last night…” began Henry before trailing off, unsure of himself. “Why did you say you hadn’t seen anything? I mean, I only saw the hound for a moment, but—”

            Sherlock interrupted him as he dumped two spoonfuls of sugar into the glass for Henry. “Hound.”

            “What?” asked Henry.

            “Hound,” repeated (Y/N). “Why do you call it that?”

            “What do you mean?” questioned Henry nervously.

            (Y/N) shrugged. This was the point that had interested them in the case in the first place. “It’s an odd choice of words. Archaic. It’s why we took the case. ‘They were the footprints of a gigantic hound.’ Why say hound?”

            “I don’t know, I—” began Henry.

            “Actually, we better skip the coffee. Come along, (Y/N),” said Sherlock, coming to a conclusion and standing.

            Henry looked at (Y/N) questioningly, but they were as impassive as ever and just turned to follow the detective.

l

            (Y/N) and Sherlock found John sitting by a war memorial in town, looking over his notes from the case.

            Sherlock coughed, feeling a little awkward after his outburst the previous night. He pretended not to be, but he was softer with his friends and didn’t want them actually angry at him. “Did you, er, get anywhere with that morse code?” he asked.

            John shook his head. “No.” He got up and started walking away.

            “What about Louise Mortimer? Did you get anywhere with her?” continued Sherlock.

            “No,” said John, still annoyed.

            “Too bad. Did you get any information?” asked Sherlock.

            John glanced over his shoulder but kept walking. “You being funny now?”

            “Thought it might break the ice a bit,” said Sherlock.

            “Funny doesn’t suit you. I’d stick to ice,” said John shortly.

            “John—” began Sherlock.

            “No, it’s fine,” interrupted John.

            “No, wait. What happened last night…Something happened to me; something I’ve not experienced before,” said Sherlock.

            “Yes, you said—fear. Sherlock Holmes got scared, you said,” said John.

            Sherlock reached out and turned John around. “No, no, no, it was more than that, John. It was doubt. I felt doubt. I’ve always been able to trust my senses, the evidence of my own eyes, until last night.”

            “You don’t actually believe you saw a monster, though,” surmised (Y/N).

            “No, I don’t,” confirmed Sherlock. “But I did see it. So the question is how. How?”

            “Yes. Yeah, right, good. So you’ve got something to go on, then? Good luck with that,” said John, still unamused. He turned and walked away again.

            “John,” called Sherlock, and the doctor paused. “John…I-I may not have friends, but I have you.”

            John blinked, surprised at the moment of vulnerability. “Right…” He turned and began walking away again.

            Suddenly, Sherlock lit up. “John? John! You are amazing! You are fantastic!”

            That’s a little much, even for Sher— (Y/N) paused. Oh.

            “Yes, alright! You don’t have to overdo it,” said John in exasperation, letting them catch up to him.

            “You’ve never been the most luminous of people, but as conductor of light, you are unbeatable!” declared Sherlock.

            I’m pretty sure that’s a backhanded compliment, thought (Y/N).

            “Cheers—What?” said John in confusion.

            “Some people who aren’t geniuses have an amazing ability to stimulate it in others,” translated (Y/N).

            “Hey!” said John.

            (Y/N) raised their hands. “Don’t kill the messenger.”

            “Hang on—you were saying sorry a minute ago. Don���t spoil it. Go on: what have I done that’s bloody stimulating?” asked John.

            Sherlock held up his own notebook. “HOUND” was written.

            “Yes?” questioned John.

            “But what if it’s not a word?” suggested (Y/N), taking the notebook from Sherlock and adding a few marks. “What if it’s individual letters?” Now it read “H.O.U.N.D.”

            “You two think it’s an acronym?” asked John.

            “No idea, but it could explain why Henry always uses the word ‘hound’ instead of ‘dog,’ ” said (Y/N).

            “And it’s a viable lead—” Sherlock frowned as they entered the pub in town. “Is that Gary?”

            Gary? (Y/N) followed his gaze. Oh, he means Lestrade.

            “What are you doing here?” asked Sherlock.

            “Well, nice to see you, too, Sherlock. I’m on holiday, would you believe?” said Lestrade.

            “No, we wouldn’t,” said Sherlock.

            Lestrade smiled more amiably at (Y/N) and John. “Hello, (Y/N), John.”

            “Hi,” said (Y/N), pulling out a lollipop and unwrapping it.

            “Greg!” greeted John.

            “I heard you were in the area. What are you up to? You after this Hound of Hell like on the telly?” asked Lestrade.

            “We are waiting for an explanation, Inspector,” reiterated Sherlock. “Why are you here?”

            “I told you; I’m on holiday,” said Lestrade.

            “You’re tan,” said (Y/N) matter-of-factly. “You just got back from a holiday.”

            “Yeah, well, I fancied another one,” said Lestrade with a sorry attempt to seem nonchalant.

            “Oh, this is Mycroft, isn’t it?” asked Sherlock, voicing what (Y/N) was thinking.

            “No, look—” began Lestrade.

            “Of course it is!” griped Sherlock. “One mention of Baskerville, and he sends our handler to…to spy on me incognito. Is that why you’re calling yourself ‘Greg?’ ”

            “Sherlock, Greg is his name,” said (Y/N) casually as they sucked on the lollipop.

            “It is?” asked Sherlock with genuine confusion.

            “Yes, if you’d ever bother to find out,” sighed Lestrade. “Look, I’m not your handler, and I don’t just do what your brother tells me.”

            “Actually, you could be just the man we want,” said John.

            “Why?” asked Sherlock.

            “Well, I’ve not been idle, Sherlock. I think I might have found something.” John rummaged in his pocket and pulled out the receipt (Y/N) had seen him pick up. “Undershaw Meat Supplies. Didn’t know if it was relevant, starting to look like it might be. That is an awful lot of meat for a vegetarian restaurant.”

            “Good point,” said (Y/N), nodding. “Nicely spotted.”

            “Excellent,” said Sherlock. “Nice scary inspector from Scotland Yard who can put in a few calls might come in very handy.”

            Lestrade groaned.

            “Please?” said (Y/N). “It would help with our case.”

            “Fine,” sighed Lestrade.

            “Shop!” called John.

            “Thanks,” said (Y/N).

            Sherlock blinked and searched for a sign of manipulation, but he was surprised to see just genuine civility. He could have smiled. At the back of the mind, a small thought surfaced. Moriarty would have been manipulating Lestrade. (Y/N) was not.

            They’re my kid. Not his.

l

            Lestrade sat down across from the innkeeper in a small roof aside from the bar. He went through paperwork while Gary, the innkeeper, and Billy, his chef, watched him anxiously.

            Sherlock poured a cup of coffee and handed it over to John. Unbeknownst to him, Sherlock had poured in the sugar he’d stolen from Henry. He had decided that trying the experiment on Henry likely wouldn’t work since he was already anxious. He needed a fresh subject who he could see marked differences in behaviors. God knew Sherlock would never use (Y/N) as such a subject, but John? Eh, John could take it. He’d been fine.

            “What’s this?” asked John.

            Unfortunately, John was a suspicious man (rightfully so).

            “Coffee. I made coffee,” said Sherlock.

            “You never make coffee,” said John matter-of-factly.

            “I just did. Don’t you want it?” asked Sherlock.

            “You don’t have to keep apologizing,” said John, but he took the cup and drank a sip. “Mm.” He made a face. “I don’t take sugar.”

            “Ah. I deleted that information,” said Sherlock casually, turning to focus on Lestrade. John sighed and took another sip, thinking he might as well make peace with Sherlock.

            (Y/N) twirled their lollipop thoughtfully. What was Sherlock up to?

            “These records go back nearly two months. Is that when you had the idea, after the TV show went out?” asked Lestrade, looking at Gary and Billy.

            “It’s me. It was me. I’m sorry, Gary—I couldn’t help it. I had a bacon sandwich at Cal’s wedding, and one thing led to another,” said Billy, obviously lying.

            “Nice try,” said Lestrade.

            “Look, we were just trying to give things a bit of a boost, you know? A great big dog rung wild up on the moor—it was heaven-sent. It was like us having our own Loch Ness Monster,” said Gary, sighing in defeat.

            “Where do you keep it?” questioned Lestrade.

            “There’s an old mineshaft. It’s not too far. It was all right there,” said Gary.

            “Was?” asked (Y/N), furrowing their brow.

            “We couldn’t control the bloody thing. It was vicious. And then, a month ago, Billy took him to the vet and, er, you know…” finished Gary.

            “It’s dead?” questioned Sherlock.

            “Put down,” confirmed Gary.

            “Yeah. No choice. So it’s over,” said Billy.

            “It was just a joke, you know?” said Gary.

            “Yeah, hilarious,” huffed Lestrade. He stood up and glared down at Gary and Billy. “You’ve nearly driven a man out of his mind.”

            He turned and walked out of the bar. Sherlock glanced down at John’s cup before following him out (completely finished, no reaction. Likely not the source).

            “You know, Sherlock and (Y/N) are pleased you’re here,” said John, and Lestrade look at him in disbelief. “Well, secretly pleased, anyway.”

            “Is he? That’s nice. I suppose they like having all the same faces back together. Appeals to their…” Lestrade searched for the right word.

            “I don’t know what describes what goes on in their brains,” said John, sighing, and Lestrade nodded in agreement.

            “So, you believe him about having the dog put down?” asked Lestrade.

            “No reason not to,” said Sherlock.

            “Well, hopefully there’s no harm done. Not quite sure what I’d charge him with anyway. I’ll have a word with the local force,” said Lestrade. “Right, that’s that, then. Catch you later.” He smiled. “I’m enjoying this! It’s nice to get London out of your lungs!” He walked away cheerfully.

            “So that was their dog that people saw out on the moor?” asked John.

            “Looks like it,” said Sherlock.

            “But that wasn’t what you saw. That wasn’t just an ordinary dog,” said (Y/N).

            “No, it was immense, had burning red eyes, and it was glowing. Its whole body was glowing.” Sherlock intentionally made up details so that he could test if it was drug induced and John would see what he told him to see. He cleared his throat. “I’ve got a theory, but I need to get back into Baskerville to test it.”

            (Y/N) looked at him. “What’s your theory?”

            “You’ll see,” said Sherlock cryptically.

            (Y/N) frowned. They’d have to figure it out for themself, apparently. They sighed. It was a very Sherlock thing to do, deny them information to test them. “Fine. How are we getting in? ID trick won’t work.”

            “Might not have to,” said Sherlock, pulling out his phone and pressing call. “Hello, brother dear. How are you?”

l

            “Afternoon, sir. If you could turn the engine off,” said the guard of Baskerville. Sherlock, John, and (Y/N) got out of the car. “Thank you.”

            Mycroft’s pull and willingness to cave to Sherlock had gotten them back into Baskerville.

            “I need to see Major Barrymore as soon as we get inside,” said Sherlock.

            “Right,” said John.

            “John, you start the search for the hound. Check the labs, start with Stapleton’s,” said Sherlock. “(Y/N), you’re with me.”

            “Actually, I wanted to check around the grounds first,” said (Y/N). “For signs of dogs entering or exiting the grounds.”

            “Alright,” said Sherlock. He leveled them with a serious look. “Be careful. Could be dangerous.”

            (Y/N) nodded before all three split up. Sherlock headed to Major Barrymore, John went into the laboratories, and (Y/N) looked over the grounds. They didn’t find anything, so they headed into the labs to find John and hopefully find the hound.

            “Any luck?” they asked as they came up on John.

            John jumped. “Bloody hell!”

            “Find anything?” asked (Y/N).

            “Nothing yet. I was about to check this office,” said John, gesturing to a nearby room.

            “Right,” said (Y/N) leading the way in.

            The pair went around and looked into the cupboard, but the only odd thing was a leaking pipe in the edge of the office. Likely, the pipes for the lab’s experiments were put in before any offices for actual people were. (Y/N) wrinkled their nose at the stale lab smell and followed John out of the room.

            Next, they went through the decontamination zone into the lab. Bright lights turned on, shining right into their eyes. John and (Y/N) averted their eyes, but the entire lab seemed to shine blindingly white. An insistent alarm buzzed, further disorienting them.

            It was a struggle, but they made it to the lift on the other side of the lab. John swiped his ID card, but it just read “Access Denied.” (Y/N) frowned, narrowing their eyes. They tried their ID, but the same message came up.

            Suddenly, the lights and alarm went off, dropping them into silent darkness. It put John and (Y/N) instantly on edge, and they scrambled for their flashlights.

            Blinking the afterimage of the lights away from their eyes, (Y/N) called, “Hello?”

            John advanced cautiously, keeping (Y/N) behind him in case of danger. He pulled away a sheet away from the mass beside them, but it only revealed a monkey that jumped at them through the bars of its cage, screeching.

            (Y/N) and John jumped, backing into another cage. They spun, on instant alert for an animal, but this one was empty. More suspiciously, the bottom was bent back.

            And behind them, a low growl echoed through the lab.

Taglist:

@stilesstilinskiforlife-blog

@im-making-an-effort

@ilse235

@schrodingers-intelligence

[certifiedbitch777]

The Concept of Intention

Entry Date: 2/12/2024 2:52pm

Today is Monday, and I'm supposed to be working right now, but everything in my body was fighting me from doing so. I did what I thought was best and called out, and god, am I glad.

I hate my job. I hate corporate culture, but I'm stuck here since this is the only thing that allows me to pay my bills. I would love to just write for a living. I don't care if it's to be an author, creative writer for a magazine, songwriter, or poet - I want any and all of it. It brings me peace.

These past days of trying to break bad habits and being consistent have made me deeply introspect. All I've been pondering is my purpose and what I want my life to look like, and I just end up back in the same spot. 

I want the freedom to express myself. I want the ability to carve out my own daily schedule and to follow the beat of my own drum. I want to be authentic. I want to be happy.

I just want to be happy.

In the world that we currently live in, it almost seems as if those in power are doing their best to prevent this from happening, but it's all I crave. I do my best to find joy in the little things, but it's just not in my nature to settle for crumbs when I know I can and deserve much more.

Over the past 5 years, what I wanted to do and be in life has changed dramatically. I honestly feel like I choose and hyper-focus on a vocation every 2 to 3 months. If I'm being honest, in each sprint, whichever career path I chose was never due to my genuine interest in them. It was all due to social, family, and financial expectations and pressure. 

My interest in all things linked to healthcare and technology was due to my family saying that it would be a reliable source of income. 'There will always be jobs for nurses or cybersecurity.' 'It would be a steady flow of income.' Obviously, my studying in those things lasted only a short time. My reason for indulging in it wasn't sustainable.

I also majored in Psychology for about 2 semesters in college. I actually really love the concept of psychology. The complexity of the human psyche completely fascinates. As much as I loved taking classes on it, I eventually dropped out of college due to my school requiring my broke ass to pay out of pocket because I failed 1 class :|. I was devastated, but a part of me always knew I wouldn't stick with it for long since school was never for me despite my academic success in my younger years. For background, I dropped out in 10th grade and got my GED shortly after my 18th birthday without studying :).

Between all of this exploring, I worked in various retail and warehouse jobs. Honestly, I quit those jobs at the drop of a hat because the pay would never match the stress. One thing I did enjoy was the amount of free time I had. The schedule was flexible, and I could get a lot done in a day or week since I sometimes did double shifts to have more days off. As much as the scheduling for the job was compatible with my dream life, the pay and terrible benefits nowhere near offset the latter.

Last but not least, I currently work at a top corporate company. I got in due to an apprenticeship, and they offered me a full-time offer. I will forever be grateful for that, as I was sure I would be fucked as both a high school and college dropout. They've provided me with stability I could only dream of, along with excellent benefits. However, what makes me not willing to settle for this is the lack of work-life balance I have. I work at least 6 days a week and over 12 hours most days. I have no life, happiness, or drive for anything anymore. It's as if I had to sell and exchange my soul for this life. And now I live the life of a corporate zombie with my world being filled with black and white instead of vibrant colors.

Why am I giving all this context of all my different career changes? Because I was never genuinely intentional with each path I explored. As a result, nothing worked out the way I thought it would. 

I've been applying to random jobs with mid to high salaries for over 2 years now, and I've gotten a rejection for every single one. Although that could be a result of how terrible the job market is, the way I view it, it didn't work out for a reason. It wasn't meant for me, and I only applied to them for superficial reasons, not because I was genuinely interested in them.

I want to be more intentional in everything I do in this life. Whether it's the food I eat, how I present myself, my morals and values, or even the line of work I want to pursue. I want to be the best version of me and only me. 

This is why I want to write for a living. It's been a common denominator in my life since I was as young as 5. I've always loved writing. Whether it was storytelling, music, or even something as simple as journaling, I felt aligned with what I was supposed to be doing. Even when I am blogging to absolutely nobody, I feel happy. I feel fulfilled spreading my truth no matter how ugly or beautiful.

The concept of intentional living was spoken about long before my mother was born. I thought I was doing so, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I challenge and hope that anyone who comes across this post begins the journey of self that will lead to a life of fulfillment.

[zeiris-art]

Hey guys!

Sorry for not posting for a while, but I didn't have any motivation and honestly I was pretty lazy...😅

But I suddenly got a surge of inspiration (I guess?) and decided to post something about my Reverse French Mistake au again. So here are the promised scenes and dialogue ideas. Hope you enjoy!

(Also this is not everything, I have more scenes and stuff, so I might make a part two if you're interested!)

First let's look at some angst:

Shortly after the trio gets transported into the world of Supernatural, they decide to grab something to eat. While they're sitting at the table and eating, Misha notices that his food doesn't taste right and he doesn't feel hungry. He realizes that as an angel, he doesn't need to eat.

Also during the first night, Misha just cannot fall asleep no matter how hard he tries. So he eventually settles on reading a book the whole night.

At first he likes these changes, because exhaustion doesn't hold him back anymore. However, over time, he starts missing being human.

After some time, the trio starts accidentaly calling each other by their character names instead of their real ones. They play it off as a joke at first, but then it becomes an issue as they start losing themselves more.

Now to ease things, let's move onto some fluff:

Although they are stuck in a fictional world, it doesn't stop them from doing pranks on each other. I have a scene in mind where Jared sneaks up on Misha and scares him. Misha, in shock, spreads out his wings and knocks Jared to the ground. Jensen is probably watching and losing it.

Later in the story (around Idk, the twelfth season?), the actors that still remember themselves or aren't trying to kill each other come together in the bunker to have a movie night. I can imagine Misha sitting between Jared and Jensen, and using his wings to pull them closer.

Now here is a small scene I started writing... (and that I'll probably never finish)

Jared was tired. He's been studying various books about spells, sigils and other things all day, but didn't find a single thing that could help them. He was tired and getting really frustrated. He groaned and closed another book in defeat. The former actor slumped his body against the chair he's been sitting on. He really needed a break. The house was quiet. Jensen left to buy some stuff and Misha was nowhere to be found. Jared got up from his chair and started walking towards the kitchen. When he was facing the kitchen counter to get a glass of water, he heard a familiar sound. The rustling of wings. He turned around to see, ,,Misha?" The addressed angel grinned: ,,Guess I'm getting the hang of this teleportation thing!"

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Back with my minibang fic chapter 2! Don’t know how I forgot to mention my marvelous beta @wsoupofpain in the last post, but shout out to her!!

(Ch. 1) (chap 3) (chappy 4) (ch five) (six)

BREAKING: NASA Lands Earths First Manned Spacecraft on Mars!

A tragedy following the wake of Danny's disappearance and the strange set of circumstances revealed between five points of view. But how did he get caught in the first place? And where did he go?

Chapter two: Broken Spirits (Read it on AO3)

[TW: unethical science and experimentation, neglectful/bad parenting, asphyxiation]

If the timing is suspicious, the doctors Fenton don't think anything of it. Shortly before Danny's disappearance, agents from the Ghost Investigation Ward came to interview Jazz for an internship she applied for, hoping to further her research in ghost psychology before college in order to be taken more seriously. A mere six days after their son goes missing, the G.I.W. agents return to confirm her internship acceptance and approach her parents about a consulting position in their agency.

Apparently, the G.I.W. managed to get their hands on an exciting and unique new test subject, and though all information about the subject is confidential, they believe the Fentons will be able to provide invaluable assistance during the experimentation phase. Despite the strenuous predicament they find themselves in, it's an opportunity they simply cannot pass up, especially not after the government promises to allocate additional resources to finding their missing son.

Besides, being able to work so closely with their daughter is no small comfort after the disappearance of their other child. After the G.I.W. sets them up with a fully equipped ghost science lab, Jazz wanders in from time to time, a relief every time they see her face. She asks questions about their work which they're more than happy to answer in great detail. If it's odd that she's suddenly taking an interest when she never has before, her parents don't think so.

Although they are brought in as consultants specifically because of the new specimen, the Fentons are never allowed to be in the room while the G.I.W. scientists run tests on it, and the closest they ever come to seeing it are the peculiar samples that get delivered to their lab every few days. The ectoplasm samples collected from the specimen are uniquely pure and powerful, but even more intriguingly, the government scientists have somehow been able to collect blood samples from the specimen.

Obviously such a discovery rocks the Fentons to their cores and they waste no time analyzing the blood samples. In them, there are microscopic ectoplasm molecules, invisible to the naked eye, but nonetheless contaminating every cell. Their instruments show that the ectoplasm has corrupted the DNA until it is unrecognizable as fully human blood and no distinct genetic markers can be identified.

"So you can't tell who this person is?" Jazz asks, and her parents laugh a bit at the idea that their daughter might consider a ghost to be a person.

"It's not a 'who' anymore, sweetie," her mother says. "It would have been interesting to study a ghost's genetic markers, but in the end, it doesn't really matter who it was before it became a monster." If she doesn't seem satisfied with this answer, her parents are too distracted to notice.

The agents and science officers of the G.I.W. ask very different questions. "You're sure this is accurate?"

"Of course," Maddie answers. "I designed these instruments myself, and I have no reason not to trust the data they give me."

"What sort of data do these instruments provide?" asks Dr. H, and when Maddie explains, he asks. "Can you make a similar device for me to use in my own lab?"

She says yes, of course.

"Can you make me a device which can see through a ghost's core, for examination purposes?"

Jack is fascinated by the prospect, and readily agrees.

"What materials do you need?" Dr. H asks.

"Can you make me a scanner that can read the spectral equivalent of brain waves? What sort of data do you lack to design such a device?" Such a tricky request when ghosts don't have actual brains, but Maddie is enticed and enthralled by the challenge. She needs to run tests, experiment on her own terms. "Yes, we can provide you with undamaged test subjects. Work quickly."

"Can you create a vacuum capable of containing ghosts?" Not only can they, but they already have. Proudly, the Fentons show off their ghost weasel and all its amazing functions, capable of sucking up and containing vast numbers of ghosts, completely inescapable. "Not that kind of vacuum," Dr. H interrupts. "I was thinking more along the lines of a vacuum chamber. A closed capsule that mimics the lack of atmospheric conditions on, say, the moon."

"Ooh." Jack and Maddie both grow giddy at the implications.

"You're testing the new specimen's potential status as an extremophile! How absolutely marvelous!" Maddie remarks.

"We have observed at least one ghost going into space without a protective suit or space ship, the one who called himself Plasmius," Dr. H agrees. "It's a line of study that has intrigued us."

"But it stands to reason that this new subject might not be able to survive in the vacuum of space as we have observed other ghosts being able to do, depending on how different it is to standard specters." Dr. H nods, but Maddie has already turned away from him, searching for a pencil to start sketching up designs while her husband grabs their sketchpad of blueprints off a countertop. Whatever else the G.I.W. has to say about the Fentons, they certainly work fast. "We can absolutely make a vacuum chamber that can hold a ghost. We'll get started immediately."

Dr. M is a different kind of scientist than Dr. H, and asks very different questions. She's more focused on ghost theory than getting her hands dirty with ectoplasm samples. "I understand that ectoranium is something of a ghost repellent, and it nullifies most of their uncanny abilities."

"It also causes ghosts immense pain to touch the substance, and releases chemical fumes which weaken them and cause them intense discomfort," Maddie adds, only for the notoriously stern Dr. M to shut down her claims.

"It is the opinion of the Ghost Investigation Ward that paranormal entities such as ghosts are non-sentient and not capable of experiencing pain," she says. "Please reserve such foolish postulations as they will be summarily disregarded, and are thus a waste of time."

"Whatever you say," Maddie responds with a knowing smile, shaking her head. She is sure that the G.I.W.'s official stance on whether ghosts can feel pain is wrong, but they likely stand by it out of legal obligation, so she doesn't bother to dispute it.

"Now, after substantial research," Dr. M continues, "I've concluded that ectoranium either does not occur naturally on Earth, or if it does, no naturally occurring source has, of yet, been discovered, however it can be found on certain comets and asteroids. Would the presence of ectoranium deposits affect a ghost's ability to survive in space?"

"I do not believe so," Maddie answers. "My husband and I have observed that ghost Plasmius in exile inhabiting the surface of an asteroid with a confirmed presence of ectoranium. Our research shows that while ectoranium vastly decreases the efficacy of a ghost's more dangerous abilities, like flight and gravity resistance, intangibility, and telekinesis, it's more innate abilities, like functioning without oxygen or maintaining a consistent shape will remain.

"We've discovered certain other stimulants which can cause a ghost to lose the ability to maintain a consistent form, causing it to dissolve, or become amorphous, however we have not found any way to negate a ghosts ability to function without breathing. That seems to be an immutable fact of their existence. Finding a way to suffocate a ghost is one of my husband's pet projects, I'm sure he'd be willing to enlighten you, if you asked."

"That's quite alright, thank you," Dr. M refuses. "I have more questions for you at the current time."

"Ask away!"

"Do you believe it is possible for a human to somehow gain some of the abilities of a ghost?" Maddie lights up at the question.

"Not only is it possible, my husband and I have seen it happen before!" Running to the computer, she enters her password and searches for the appropriate files, certain that Dr. M will find value in them. "A while ago, in Amity Park, there was an outbreak of ghost flu at the local high school, spread by disease carrying ecto-mosquitoes. Now, ghost flu is utterly amazing as a condition because one of the unique symptoms of ghost flu is exhibiting ghost-like abilities."

"Elaborate," Dr. M requests, as if Maddie wouldn't expound unprompted, though she is already planning to before Dr. M asks.

"Victims of ghost flu were able to use at least one ghostly power, intangibility, gravity resistance, duplication, spectral body manipulation—it's unlike anything I've ever seen, even among ghost related afflictions like ecto-acne."

"Do you think it's possible to synthesize a compound that would elicit that kind of reaction without the illness?" Dr. M asks. "A serum of sorts, or perhaps some kind of device, which could give humans ghostly powers?"

"My husband and I have been working on a few theories about that, using controlled ectoplasm exposure in lab rats. Slowly introducing purified ectoplasm—free of the impurities which cause illnesses like ghost flu and ecto-acne—into their bloodstreams, and analyzing the results.

"I can give you the experimentation logs, but so far we've had limited success. Our working theory is that it has something to do with the rate of ectoplasm exposure. Introducing it slowly, the rats' bodies fight the ecto-infection too quickly for it to take effect. The next stage of our experiments is to increase the dosage. We've tried a few times, but found that too high of a dose kills the rats instantaneously. Although it does create ghost rats, it does not create living rats with ghost powers.

"We put the experiments on hold when we came to work in this facility, but now that I'm on the subject, I'm curious to see if we can further this experiment with the information gleaned from the new specimen's blood samples."

"I encourage you to further these experiments posthaste, and report your findings," Dr. M says stiffly. "The G.I.W. is most interested in such experiments. If you require anything to effectively conduct these experiments, do not hesitate to ask."

"Of course!" As with every other question and request, Maddie is more than happy to carry out Dr. M's suggestion, and when she brings it up to her husband later, he enthusiastically agrees. If Dr. M's intentions are worrying, the Fentons don't concern themselves with them.

"Excellent," Dr. M says, and starts to leave.

"Wait!" Maddie stops her. "I know it's not really your department, but do you know if the investigators have made any progress in finding our son?"

"That's not my department," Dr. M says. "If you wish, I can request that the appropriate staff member be directed your way to answer any questions you may have about the investigation."

"Yes please, that would be wonderful," Maddie agrees. "My husband and I will resume the experiments we were talking about right away!"

"Affirmative." With that, Dr. M leaves the lab and Maddie walks over to the workbench they've designated for anti-ghost weaponry to talk to her husband about the experiments to give living creatures ghostly abilities. Just as she suspected, her husband is thrilled at the prospect of returning to those particular experiments with the full support and financial backing of the government.

They waste no time in procuring rats to use as test subjects and working on a way to combine pure ectoplasm with the contaminated blood sample. With the both of them working full time on the compound they synthesize a test dose by the end of the day, and inject the first rat to see the results the next morning.

The following day they're excited to see that the rat's once-brown coat is pure white, and its eyes glow yellow, though there is no corpse in the cage. When the agent comes into the lab to report to the Fentons about the investigation regarding their son, Jack is testing the Rat's reaction to the ghost proof cage and Maddie has just taken the first blood sample and is diluting it in a test tube.

"Agent Q!" Jack's booming voice announces when the man walks through the door. "Any news about our boy?"

"Yes," Agent Q reports, stone-faced and emotionless as always. "It is with regret that I have come to inform you that your son's body was found dead on the shores of Lake Eerie." His monotone voice cuts through the air in the lab like a scalpel and the Fenton parents can only stare in shocked silence. "There was evidence of him being attacked by wild animals, before reaching the lake, but the coroner has determined the cause of death to be drowning. There is no evidence of foul play. It appears the incident was a... tragic accident. Your daughter has agreed to go to the morgue to confirm the identity of the body so as not to take you away from your work, but we are quite sure it is your son. He has the same birthmark."

The silence of the lab is broken by a distant scream in the direction of Lab '05-∆Φ, where the new specimen is undergoing experiments. It sounds like Phantom's ghostly wail, like the screams of a dying child. They can't help but wonder if their boy—if Danny screamed like that before he died. And if the story is unlikely, the parents are too distraught to question it.

A teardrop drips from Maddie's face into the test tube she's holding, and the solution bubbles over. With a gasp, she lets it go, and it plunges toward the ground.

When she drops it... it shatters.

[terranmikaela]

WELCOME TO MY BLOG

I’ve wanted to start a blog for years. So, here I am, starting a blog. One of the biggest lessons I learned in 2022 was that you can change your life by simply choosing to change your life. It sounds so simple, because it is. Yet, it’s so hard for so many of us to do.

I believe it mostly comes down with the fear of the unknown. I like my comfort zone, as most people do. What if I risk it all and I fail? What if I’m really bad and I completely embarrass myself? It’s a huge block.

Blocks are something we have been discussing recently in my scene study class. I’m currently attending Vancouver Film School for their 1-year Acting for Film and Television program. What are the things that are keeping us from reaching our full acting potential? What can we do to break those down?

I discovered that my acting blocks are the same blocks that hinder me in my day-to-day life. Fear of looking dumb and not succeeding being in the lead. Taking a step back from that I realized how silly it was. In my acting work, the artists that impress me the most are the ones who aren’t afraid of looking ridiculous. They are the ones that push, and mess up, and explore. The performers that are most difficult to watch and to work with are the ones that are rigid and afraid.

This mirrors advice that I was given shortly before making the decision to apply for film school. I was in New Orleans for a Supernatural Convention (the TV show) and I came across a couple of energy workers. One of the two gave me a reading and called me out for those very blocks. That I had amazing dreams, but I wouldn’t let myself try because I was afraid of failing. I didn’t want to give anyone the chance to reject me. So, I never gave myself a chance to achieve what I truly desired.

Not too long after this encounter, I risked it all and applied to a film school I had been looking at for years in a city I loved in completely different country. I’m unmarried and childless so this seemed like the perfect time to really try for my dreams before I got stuck being a shoe store manager for the rest of my life. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it’s never been what I’ve wanted. I didn’t want to look back on my life and regret that I never even tried. I am lucky enough to have the resources I do to be able to afford to do something like this. I realize not everyone is fortunate enough to do so.

The life that you think about all the time in your head is completely attainable. You need to remove the fear and the blocks and make the choices that bring you closer to want you want out of life.

That brings me here. I’ve wanted to start a blog for years. I’ve read countless articles and planned out articles so many different times but never made the plunge. I somehow just realized that this was yet another way my block was manifesting itself. I’m so afraid that no one will be interested in what I have to say. I have no clue what exactly my “niche” is, so what if I never end up making any money off of this? Is it a waste of time?

I need to get in the habit of either writing out or saying my fears outloud, because every time I do I see how silly I’m being. Me failing at this is better than the constant wonder of if I can do it. If I have fun, then no matter what, this won’t be a waste.

Here’s to living a life of wander, and not a life of wonder. <3

[angerissue]

Anonymous asked... Your Bruce Banner is BRILLIANT. Click here to send me something!

Sorry for taking so long to respond to this! I've been going back and forth on what to say, because it was so nice to see this in my inbox, and I wanted to reply properly. I'm not an innately confident writer, and because of the chilly reception that adaptations like this usually get on tumblr, there are often occasions where I wonder if I'm writing Bruce well. Sometimes my assurance disappears. But messages like yours are super encouraging, so thank you.

I've been writing for a long time. I've had one or two things published, but nothing substantial, and certainly not novellas or novels. I remember when I first took a real interest in writing stories, and my characters were absolutely terrible, haha. My first original character was based on a book for young readers about dragons (who could assume human form) and people. In this book, there was a teen girl who had dragon wings. I can't remember the name of the book, but I used like 90% of the character's traits for my first OC, and I didn't really put much thought into it beyond this. Call it a product of me being ten years old, but the OC was goofy and corny, and my writing was beyond dramatic, holy smokes... But at least it formed a great foundation for what not to do, moving forward.

When I was in high school, I took an immediate liking to English class. Digging into media and writing essays was very enjoyable for me! Some of the material felt too simplistic, like a deeper meaning couldn't be derived from it, but I still really loved looking for metaphors and nuance in different texts, and devising different ways to present my findings, and sometimes bullshit them from scratch. I jumped headfirst into AP English soon after that. I particularly remember the assignments for Kafka's "The Metamorphosis", and Swift's "A Modest Proposal", which were pretty strange and surreal texts, but they were fascinating!

(That is the kind of literature I love to encounter. Things that are "out there", that make you think, that have something to say about certain topics, and that leave a lasting impression.)

During this time, I picked up a few other OCs, including some that were inspired by my lucid dreams and the film "Avatar" (2008). I also loved analyzing and discussing films that I'd watched, and I became more and more interested in "character study bait" films, including "Hunger" (2008), "Taxi Driver" (1976), and "American Psycho" (2000). The more focus that a film had on a character, the more I liked exploring it and looking for details. "Breaking Bad" was absolutely captivating to me because of all the colour palette and script choices. And certain characters jumped out at me as well, such as Jesse Pinkman, Wikus Van De Merwe, Tony Stark, and Jake Sulley, who all received varying amounts of attention in fics.

Bruce Banner was another character who really stood out, when I finally decided to give him a chance. My first exposure to him was "The Incredible Hulk" (2008), and even after that single film and its somewhat anemic script, I noticed there was a lot going on with him, and I wanted to explore it. It helped that he was a science fiction character too, because that is my favourite genre, and that I'd always been a sucker for werewolf and monster tropes. I hadn't even gotten into the comics yet or learned about his family life (that happened shortly before I graduated), but I was already so invested in him! And it snowballed from there.

I think it's the combination of my keen interest in Bruce and my love for analysis that has resulted in this portrayal. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but I like to think he's still recognizable, and he is very much the same character. He was simply given different options from canon, and he's developed accordingly. But he's never wandered too far from his roots. Everything about this portrayal can be traced back to something I've seen, somewhere, in canon.

I'm also deeply proud of my decision to make this portrayal exceptionally self-aware about the psychology of trauma. I put a very heavy emphasis on how trauma informs someone's decisions throughout their life, which canon has rarely bothered to dissect (the comics on occasion, and the Marvel Cinematic Universe only like, once). I've said it before, but Bruce is often depicted and handwaved as "yet another superhero" and is often dumped into the "superhero genre", which is conflated with formulaic, flashy popcorn flicks. I try to write him deeper than that, and more well-rounded. I've never been a fan of shying away from gritty, dark, or personal shit, because it can often be very revealing and insightful, especially for a character like Bruce. I also feel like this makes him a more accessible character to someone who doesn't necessarily like the MCU or Marvel. If all of the "bam, pow, superheroes and capes and high stakes" stuff takes a break, and the painfully human aspects can shine through more, it humanizes him that much more. I think that's part of the reason the television show and Ruffalo's performance in "The Avengers" was so well-received.

(But this is all just my opinion.)

So thanks again, anonymous! I'm really happy to hear you like the direction I've taken him.

I have many other messages in my inbox, including some old ask memes. I'm slowly working through them. Thanks for your patience, everyone.