#wonder woman fan fiction

[pinkiemachine]

Hero Swap Pt. 1

Part 2 here 👇

[ao3sbatfamily]

Hey do you have any recs for fics where the batfamily does something that absolutely should not be possible and everyone is like wtf?

I feel like in most of the JLA meet batfam fics, the JLA focuses more on batman have kids and less on the fact that they usually did some terrifying shit. I went with cryptid batfam.

This was made into a series, so make sure to check out the sequels.

'Growling in the Shadows' by GayBatBoi

It was Martian Manhunter who interrupted his thoughts this time. “I have not met many humans who have met this Batman, but the ones I have talked to did not broadcast fear when thinking of him. In fact they seemed to feel more hopeful and safe when talking about The Batman.

“I don’t know, this just seems like a bad idea. Isn’t there anyone else we could try first?” Clark whined. He couldn’t exactly just say ‘I don’t want to go because I’m scared’. The others would never let him live it down.

“We all know that there are precious few heroes we can ask to join us, Clark. We must ensure that the hero we ask is as strong as possible to make up for our small amount of warriors.” Diana chimed in again, always the voice of reason. “A few strong teammates is far superior to many weak ones.”

“I’m still not convinced this Batman character is a good guy at all.“ He pouted, arms crossed like a child throwing a tantrum. He didn’t care. If Clark had to Gotham he could at least sulk about it a bit first.

“We could always offer him the position as a trial run. If he’s a good guy then we recruit him full time. If he’s a villain then at least we can keep a close eye on him and take care of it if we need to” Green Arrow took Flash and Diana’s side.

“I think it’s worth a shot. It is not as if there are many heroes to choose from and this Batman may surprise us yet.” Wonder Woman smiled.

[ponyosfrogg]

INBETWEEN (PT 3)

Summary: You wake up, completely under the effect of your dream about comic characters, just to find out a new character has been added to DCU? Or has she always been there?

Pairing: Tim Drake x Reader

Author's Note: Gosh, sorry for taking some time. This chapter was a pain in the ass, all i wanted was to write about sweet moments but god 😶‍🌫️ sorry about the typos, I'll fix them as soon as i can i promise, hope you like it my loves! thank you so much for the support! 💗

Warning: Some of the themes and contents written in this fic might be upsetting for some of the readers, read at your own risk. Some parts have strong language.

As you woke up with a throbbing pain in your head, you couldn't help but wonder if this would be a issue every time you tried to wake up normally. Frustrated, you cautiously opened your eyes, preparing for the brightness. The light made everything appear blurry, so you tried shading your eyes with your hands, but it didn't help much. Suddenly, a silhouette rushed towards you.

"You got me so worried! I can't believe you didn't took your medicine's today! I'm so angry at you" A slap out of worry hit your arm and made you more awake and more aware of your surroundings. You were in your house, with your best friend beside your bed. She must've taken you to your bed since the last thing you can recall was washing some dishes. The slippery and weird feeling in your hand was just proof. "And so glad that you're okay." Amber hugged your laying body with compassionate behavior.

You reposition yourself on the bed and lay your back on the bedstand now facing your best friend who was sitting next to you on your bed. You were in your room. Your real room.

"Are you okay? You're very quiet." With her voice you tried to collect your thoughts in one place. So you had a dream about comic characters? God, you must've been going through some shit because you rarely even dream. Maybe you were in need to feel some family support? Or you just read a lot of them last night.

"Yeah, I'm okay no worries. I just had the weirdest dream ever. I'm sorry about worrying you I'll be more careful about my medicine." but you were so sure that you took all of them today. Why would your heart react in such a way. You found yourself questioning yourself once again, falling into a familiar pattern of self-doubt and second-guessing.

"Oh I can't wait to hear about it but first i have to tell you something." She must've done something she thought was necessary but not necessarily the best idea. "I called Nate." Yes, just as you guessed. Amber must've seen the shift in your reaction and started to get panicky. "Don't blame me! I got so worried and waited for one hour but you didn't wake up so i had to call him, i didn't know what to do. he said he's on his way to come here now. Could be here any moment now." She got up from the bed and started to walk around the room in a panicking way.

But you weren't focusing on her anymore, just hearing Nate's name made your heart flutter a little bit. He was your ex. You had been inseparable from your childhood and at some point it turned into a beautiful relationship. Nate was an ambitious student who wanted to have nothing more than a wife and a job. You on the other hand, you like the possibilities life could offer you. You never had something on your mind you were just going around wherever life takes you. Spontaneous trips to places you'd like to visit, working freelance and getting paid whenever you're in need of some money, reading books and comics whenever you're free. You were a kind of woman who would post something dumb on an afternoon during weekdays which would make all of your working friends question your sanity. So it's safe to say that you guys were completely opposites.

And whoever said opposites attract, they were wrong as fuck. You needed someone to think like you. It was hard to maintain the relationship when both of your needs were completely opposite, beside your characters. You guys broke up two months ago or something like that. you weren't keeping the count.

Although it was hard to not to think about him, you always thought you made the right decision about him. You wouldn't want to keep him from living his life, and you wouldn't want him to keep you from living your life either. It was the right decision. But why were you feeling nauseous right now?

"It's okay, we were going to see each other at some point anyway." You tried to smile in a relaxing way and you must have been successful since she gave you another big hug. She was one of the kindest soul you had a chance to meet on this earth. She had beautiful ginger curly hair with a lot of freckles on her face. She had this beautiful smile that made your day better whenever you saw her. She was just the most adorable person you could ever hope for and you were glad she was your friend, your best friend to be exact.

"Okay, I'll leave you alone and give you some privacy for you to change your clothes." You rolled your eyes at her words. Yeah, you took back whatever you said about her, she was devious. "I'm not going to all doll-up for Nate, Amber." She giggled at the annoyance at your voice while she was leaving the room.

You looked around your room. How could something feel so familiar yet so strange. You felt an unexplainable feeling on your chest. It wasn't about your heart, something was different. Maybe the dream affected you more than you could admit.

As you gazed around, your attention was suddenly drawn to the batfamily poster hanging on the wall behind your desk. It was an old favorite, something you had put up about three years ago. It included all of the batfamily members. Yet, this time, there was something different about it, or rather, someone.

You rushed to get a closer look, your eyes widening in surprise. Among the familiar faces of Bruce, Jason, Dick, and Damian, there was a new addition—a girl standing beside Damian. Who was she? And why the fuck she looked like you.

"Amber?" You yelled from your room, hoping her to hear. Her voice echoed back a response, and you called out again, "What did you do to my poster?"

You heard her quick footsteps and then Amber entered your room, her expression showing annoyance at being summoned. She glanced at the poster you were holding in your hand. "It looks perfectly normal to me. I didn't touch it."

You rolled your eyes, feeling annoyed more and a bit frustrated. "I mean, who's the new character next to Damian?"

Amber looked at you as if you had said the most absurd thing you could ever say. "Are you serious right now? Is this supposed to be some kind of joke? Listen, i need to go out. I know that you're kind of excited and anxious to meet Nate and you don't want to be alone but i have to go." You turned around and saw she already dressed up. You were speechless.

"Wait, what? Are you going out? Are you going to leave me alone with Nate and excuse me but what the fuck is happening right now! Who is this girl."

She didn't say anything and left the room, leaving you without any further explanation.

You reached over your laptop and opened it. Yes, something weird was going on and you were determined to find it and what would be a better way than google. You pull your soft, white chair and sit on it while you are waiting for your laptop to be open. When it got open, you typed the batfamily and searched for it.

After like three minutes, you saw the name Viperia, even though you read a lot of comics and familiar with almost every character at that point you've never heard of her so you typed 'Viperia' on a different tab. To your surprise, there were numerous posts and messages about this character. She appeared at the same time as Damian in comics. She was snarky, cocky and definitely a pain in the ass but somehow she literally had her own fan-base. You saw a lot of websites made in the honor of her, a lot of fanarts and literally thousands of fan fiction. But how come you've never heard about her and why did she literally look like you.

"Yeah, this must be a fucking dream."

When you heard a knock from the door, you remembered you were expecting Nate. Fuck, you already have forgotten about him coming. You pulled yourself together and promised to check this after you're done with Nate. Right now you have to focus on him.

You must have been so lost on your research, you didn't realize Amber already left the house. You opened the door and you saw Nate's bright face.

Seeing him make a lot of emotions rushing to you. There was longing in your heart, you were longing for his presence. There was some kind of disappointment. You were disappointed in him, he could've made this thing go further but he didn't. He chose to give up on you and you chose to give up on your relationship.

When you break up with someone, seeing them changing does have an effect on you. You expect them to be the same but you don't realize people tend to change every now and then, especially after going through a painful break-up. You felt sad but you felt you didn't have any right to be sad, after you were the who cut the cords of that relationship. You chose your path to leave him. It was painful for you but you knew that if you didn't, it would be more painful in the future. But somehow right that moment you were looking at a completely different guy. He had a bright smile on his face just like he always does but somehow it was different, it was full of confidence. His eyes were shining like two little stars. He was radiating some kind of sunshine energy that you became addicted once. And seeing him make all of these things rush through your mind.

He had a white shirt on him, which made him look very... professional? But in a pretty way. His partly long hair was slicked back nicely. You can see his newly grow beard that he probably is going to shave tomorrow morning. Even though he looked almost the same as two months ago you realized he changed, he's much better now. He's better off without you or maybe you were just that lonely who was considering going back to her ex just because you hated being alone or a narcissist who thinks everyone is in love with her.

"Hello." His stern voice made you startled since you were, once again, wandering on your mind. "Hello, how rude I am. Come in." you stepped backwards for him to enter the house. He was looking around when you closed the wooden door and turned at him.

"You guys made some changes on this apartment huh? It looks prettier." You smile at the compliment. Always too nice.

"Yes, it was time to get rid of some old stuff." Then you realized this was not an appropriate sentence to say since it's only been two months after the break up.

You cleaned your throat and talked again: "Take a seat I'll prepare us some coffee." When you were rushing to the kitchen, you heard his footsteps right behind you. "You never really learn do you? I'm literally here for your heart and you are offering me coffee? Way to go." You laughed at his point.

It was nice to be around him. He had such a charm that could make you feel comfortable all the time. There wasn't any awkward silence around him. It was always joyful, happy and full of smiles. He was like a home for you once. Now he was just a stranger you perfectly know.

"Well, old habits die hard." At that point you literally wanted to punch yourself on your face. There were millions of words in English and somehow you always chose the one that made you sound like a heartless person.

When you were preparing the coffee he sat on a chair beside the window. It was raining again. There was no lightning or storm but just plain rain. It was the fourth day today and the weird thing is, it was middle of the fucking summer, July to be exact.

"So, your heart?" When you put on his mug, (which was adorable by the way. It was dark red with little white hearts on it.) on the little coffee table in front of him. You sat right in front of him. "Yes, I think Amber is overreacting. I'm perfectly fine." He looked at you with his brown eyes, completely scanning your body. It's like, he was trying to find evidence of you being okay. But in reality he was actually thinking about how much he missed you. He missed being around you, your presence, your voice, your scent and everything about you. He missed hearing your stupid theories about comics, he missed talking about ordinary stuff under the stars on a hill that he would take you every saturday, he missed you making him laugh so hard that he would cry, he missed you. Simply you, being you.

"Still, i think you should come to the hospital and let me examine you over there since I didn't bring a lot of stuff." You nod, perfectly aware of the fact that you simply wouldn't do something like that. You knew something was different. You experienced a lot of seizures like that and it was different and since you already took your medicine, you wouldn't bother to go again. If there's something, that would mean more medicine. But you were sure that was not the case.

Your mind went to Damian's sister again. How could this be possible. She looked exactly like you and you were wondering how she can appear on your poster. It was there for three years now and you would've noticed at some point right? Viperia... Even the name sounds so made up, you still were trying to convince yourself that you actually imagined that person. But then again, Amber said she's been there for some time. Maybe she also hallucinated.

You tried to pull your attention back on the guy sitting in front of you. Viperia was the future you problem, right now you had Nate in front of you.

"You look tired." When he stated the obvious fact you simply smiled. "Yes, it's been a long day." More like two days in one. "And I'm kind of anxious maybe that's why."

He directly looked into your eyes with such a compassionate look. If he could make your pain go away, he would in a heartbeat. It was so weird to part your ways even though you love that person. But growing up meant realizing it's important have someone who has the same mindset as you and about that, you guys were not the best. 'Love can start something but it wouldn't make something keep going.' Your mother used to say this sentence a lot whenever she and your dad argued.

He reached over your hand that was on uour your lap. When he touched you, you could feel the vibrations going around your body. It was dumb to think that you were over him but when it's you, you can never be sure and you knew that all to well.

"You know that I'm here right? It doesn't matter what time is it, if you call, I'll come." He said almost whispering. His hand traces its way through your face. Cupping one of your cheeks. No, that wasn't good. You could feel that every cell of yours longing for him but that wasn't a good idea.

"I think you should go."

He looked at you for five seconds with a disappointed look on his face. He could tell that you were uncomfortable and he didn't want to keep doing whatever he was doing. Then he take his hand off your face and stood up. "Yes, I think I should go. Thank you for the coffee. I think tomorrow morning you should visit the hospital just in case." You nodded and said 'thank you' while he was taking his stuff and going to door.

"Goodnight." He was the one who smiled as an answer this time.

As soon as you closed the door, you released the breath you didn't even you were holding until that point.

You went into your room after sitting back of the door for some time, collecting your thoughts about Nate. You needed something to take your mind off from Nate and you decided to keep researching about Viperia.

Two hours later, your mind was almost going to explode from all the information you found about her.

She was the sixth child of Batman, not a sister but twin of Damian. Raised by Bruce but also Talia too. Her name was the same as yours but she was using Viperia as an alias, which was a venomous snake. She was skilled at martial arts and she was a great assassin, maybe even better than Damian. She was quite popular with her rage and snarky comments just like Damian. She was getting along with almost every family member except Tim and you didn't find anything relating to that topic. On some fandom base sites, there were a lot of theories about them dating secretly 'why else they wouldn't even once mention about her relationship with Tim' they wrote. 'Tim never even refers to her as his sister.' You searched so deep that you even had came across a smut writing between her and Alfred which made you a little bit of uncomfortable and also scared.

You started to think how could you miss this character or did she literally appear out to nowhere in three hours?

The creator was releasing new chapters on that comic series in every two weeks. 'Batman's Daughter' was the title. It was covering the whole background starting from the birth which was crazy but useful also, since you learned that Talia literally put her in Lazarus Pit whenever she had some kind of blade cuts on the age of fucking three. No wonder that girl was total nuts but of course fun to read.

When you were doing your research your laptop's notification sound made you startled. Maybe you didn't have any resemblance with her since she could literally murder without even flinching and you were, well, getting startled from a notification sound.

It was an e-mail.

You took your laptop and stood up from the chair you've been sitting for some time now. Since you also started to get sleepy it was a good idea to going to your bed and read your mail over there.

You sat on your soft green colored sheets and opened your mail, you didn't know the person who sent you the mail. There was literally no name or anything. Just an attachment and a word on the subject part which was 'read :)'

You clicked on the attachment, even though you knew you shouldn't since it was a mail from someone unknown and you might even download a fucking virus on your laptop but however something inside of you was couraging you to open it.

It was a comic on a pdf format but it was more like a work in progress. Some parts were still empty.

The Doom of Batfamily?

That was enough for your curiosity to take over, so you started reading.

It was starting with Bruce talking with his family about some unusual murders on the city. He was suspecting someone from the League of Assassins since the murder weapon was a sword. But turns out it was Viperia who is getting more and more insane everyday because of the Lazarus pit. But it didn't even stop there, she was getting involved with some villains to trap her family one by one and killing them all, she was thinking they were on her way.

You were horrified. It was very graphical and the sketches literally showed everything explicitly. In the end, she was literally standing on all of their dead bodies, laughing histerically.

You close the laptop immediately and closed your eyes, trying once again to collect your thoughts. Everything seemed so messy right now and you didn't know what to do. Why Viperia appeared out of nowhere, Who was the sender of the mail, why is she killing all of her family, what the fuck is going on.

"Fuck, no."

Without resisting more, you give yourself in the sweet arms of sleep. You could try to solve that problem tomorrow, you needed some sleep now.

After like two minutes of sleeping you opened your eyes involuntarily since, well, you only closed them for two minutes.

"It took you long enough."

With this voice, you got scared again.

"I didn't know you like sleeping this much it's literally noon time now, wake up so we can go to my favorite cafe to have some breakfast and then feed the ducks."

You watched him in horror.

"Hey, haven't you missed your beloved brother?"

"Damian?"

[morallyinept]

A list of all my favourite MAXWELL LORD Fic Recs, with the writers tagged. Includes fics I am currently reading/want to read.

Please show some love to the writers by re-blogging and commenting on their work. 🖤

⚠️ Please ensure you check the triggers/warnings etc... on the stories themselves as some of them may not be suitable to your own particular tastes.

Dancing With Myself, & Frankie Say Relax Maxwell x M!OC - @ghostofaboy

It Could Be Better Series - @boliv-jenta SexWorker!Maxwell

A Man's World Series Switch!Maxwell, Grapefruit & Vodka & Rings & Recordings - @coastielaceispunk

In The Heights Part 1 & Part 2 - @wardenparker

Sheer - @prolix-yuy PlusSize!Reader

The Election Senator!Max, Kinktober Oct 28th Flogging, The Masked Initiation, The Right Formula & Maxwell Lord Masterlist - @absurdthirst

Anything You Want Subby!Max & Congratulations - @palioom

Flufftober 24 Wonder Woman 1984 - @dyns33

Gold Rush Series & Rumour Has It - @thewayofthemandalorian

No Rules - @violetmuses

What I Want - @flightlessangelwings

Fools Gold - @missredherring

To Wish For A Chance - @lunariafe

Mastermind - @mandoalorian

Shutterbug & Jackpot - @lowlights

I'd Punch You But That'd Ruin That Pretty Little Face - @forever-rogue

Kissing In The Rain - @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa

Why Did You Do It? - @simpingcowboy GN!Reader

Maxwell Lord Masterlist - @toomanystoriessolittletime Couldn't pick just one!

Kinktober Maxwell Series - @toomanystoriessolittletime Modern!Maxwell

Surprise Visit - @holobandit

Maxwell Lord Masterlist - @pintsizemama Couldn't pick just one!

Recovery & A Deserved Break Sub!Max - @pumpkin-stars

Gender Swap, A Christmas Wish & Role Play - @supernaturalgirl20

Rings - @honestly-shite GN!Reader

Blissful Sensations & Greed SugarDaddy!Maxwell - @whiskeynwriting

Maxwell Lord Masterlist & Wild, Unknown Men Series Featuring Marcus Pike Great Gatsby AU - @starlightmornings

I Think I Want It - @lavendertales

Do You Remember Yesterday? - @soft-persephone

Maxwell Lord Masterlist - @musings-of-a-rose Couldn't pick just one!

Of Thieves & Wishes - @maxwell--lord Featuring The Thief

Webcams - @bitchin-beskar

Working Overtime - @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Feels Like Christmas - @gosmigenergy

Stiff - @idolatrybarbie

The First Time For Everything - @palioom

Picture This - @ghostofaboy M!Reader

[nostalgia-tblr]

one of the best Fandom Discourse Topics is the one about how this female character i have minimal to no interest in is TOO GOOD for my male blorbo. she can do MUCH BETTER he's A CRAP BOYFRIEND and so that's why he has to be paired with my other male blorbo, who lacks The One Braincell and thus will believe himself to be in a wholesome loving relationship in the endless fluffy fanfic i will read/write about him and BLORBO, THE WORST POSSIBLE CHOICE for that female character.

obviously i ship her with this woman she interacted with in one scene, who is also SUCH A QUEEN YASSSSSS. god i love this wholesome lesbian ship between these two women who probably don't even know each other's full names <3 <3 <3 i might even hit reblog on a gifset of their one scene together someday. i probably won't, but i might.

so anyway back to blorbo and how amazing he is, i bet he'd be a great boyfriend for this other white guy.

[mlintschinger]

Redesigning several wonder woman super villains. No Gods, Nazis, or edgelords if I can help it. (Check the WW rogues Gallery wiki to see what I mean).

[nightskywonderer]

Really loved the update for Something Special and Tonight! Thank you for the surprise! Can’t wait to read more from you

Thank you very much for the love and support! More updates coming up soon! 🤗♥️

[sullustangin]

WIP Poll

Tagged by @starlightcleric (like 2 months ago -- SORRY)

Rules: Make a 24-hour poll with the names of your wips, let it run, then write one sentence for every vote the winner received.

I'll keep it to ones that I WILL eventually finish. No deadwood here. The first one is obvious Batsy/Wondy in the DCAU (Batman the Animated Series/Justice League/Bruce Timm continuity). The rest are SWTOR.

Tagging @starknstarwars, @commander-krios @consularmain @halibellecter @vexa-legacy

[2000skid4ever]

Since Jason is in multiversus now i thought i'd do my own version of his possible character interactions in multiversus for fun

[snowbyrdn7]

Part 12 of New 52 is out!

[pinkiemachine]

May I humbly present to you all, my very own Wonder Woman series!

Sorry that the chapters are so short, but it’s the only way I can make them while still doing all my other projects… anyway, here’s chapter 1! Enjoy!

If it were possible, I’d do a show like this… just maybe without the backgrounds looking the way they are… I need to learn how to colour backgrounds properly… whenever I do it, it never turns out right… so I took the lazy route and made everything monochromatic-ish. Help.

[stoptellinglieslois]

Principal of pleasure part 61

Clark and Dick are at the watch tower and Clark instincts kick in.

Superman x Nightwing pairing

Dick

I was in the tower with Kal we talked for a bit with the other league members separately, As we lounged around and just kept each other posted on life events.

On the opposite side of the room I was talking to Wonder woman and Wonder girl, When I always talk to them they make me feel so engaged no matter what topic.

I casually looked over to Kal and I noticed he has a frozen expression on his face like something is not right and time stands still for a moment.

I continue looking at him as I am also being drawn into whatever he is thinking about.

I look around I haven't seen B in weeks but that was not a surprise though he often did that.

I wasn't looking for him but Kal seemed to be alarmed with something.

As I see him approaching us.

He was talking to Green arrow which Queen looked at him puzzled as he walked towards me.

disengaging his conversation with the archer.

I didn't like the look on his face as Kal approached us I felt that I was at odds right now like something had shifted, Between now and then talking to my team mates was a big switch.

"Kal el what's wrong you seem stressed." Diana pressed a look of concern on her face Kal looked at her and then he was all secretive looking over his shoulder.

as he approached close to me and whispered in my ear. "We need to leave." I didn't want to seem slow or hesitant because if Superman told you to move you move.

And so I nodded to my goodbey to the amazons and walked out of the room with Kal.

"Kal what's up ?" I asked walking down the hall with moderate pace.

"Bruce is here we need to go." He said as we went down the hall.

"Hey." I didn't say anything but my skin wanted to leap out as a hand touched my shoulder.

End of part 61 next is part 62

Thank you for reading

[soulrph]

chaotic unhinged lines from 2022-2023 (prompt edition).

basically in 2021 i made a list of prompts inspired by lines in tiktok videos and instagram reels that made me laugh so hard i cried! and now i have returned with another list! these may provide an alarmingly clear image of what my sense of humor is (aka broken) but i figure a little levity is always a good thing! more prompts are forthcoming, but in the mean time: bon appetit!

knowledge has always chased you, but you've always been faster.

no... no, that was mango apathy juice. from the farmer's market.

of all these people, you are the one i understand the least. i want to get to know you better, but like, not that much better.

i-i will CHEW YOUR MEAT!! WHAT are you doing?!

ooooh god, no, you wouldn't be long getting frostbit!

you are evil. like a hobbit.

WHY MUST YOU FAIL ME SO OFTEN?!?!!?

i have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

AHEM!! fill my cup.

may god ignore you like you ignored my greetings.

i will avenge you mister van gogh.

call off work bestie, we need you to solve a murder. here's fifteen dollars.

you're not in love. you may think you are, you dumb fuck, but you're not.

go ahead and put the ranch away.

sadly, "hopefully" doth butter no parsnips.

forget school, i want to be an italian sandwich.

you shouldn't skip work, you are a lawyer and he is a hamster.

you can stop roleplaying now. you're free.

her coupon game was so fucking raw.

i'm sorry guys... he's making a salad.

you could get a straight guy here if you learned to make a good pasta. i'll teach you how to make a risotto that'll get you married and out of my basement.

hey, do you want me to get together a plate of roast beef and hide it in our room so we can have night meats?

it's not the most ethical thing in the world, but in a pinch you can hand off a cursed object to basically any baby.

no, children, you're wrong. once upon a time, there was a piece of wood.

and i'm not saying she deserved it, but i am saying that god's timing is always riiiiight.

hydrate or die-drate, ya DICK!

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD.

new york city is a fictional place written up by someone with a sinister mind and a knack for comedy.

this is grindr my guy.

wait, i didn't finish teaching you the difference between human and wolf anatomy.

it's time to tell your grandmother that she was wrong. do not be afraid.

vanilla vodka... you fucking child.

without ash to rise from, a phoenix would just be a bird getting up.

you are fucking alive. do what you want.

why are you cradling me like a baby, friend? this isn't how guys of my generation hang out.

i hope a hedgehog shits in your cereal, you difficult person.

you know, i am not as mean as i would like to be. and i think people should appreciate that more.

see, i am not a kangaroo.

well, i'd like to help, but... you see... not as much as i'd like not to.

rest in peace you fucking onion fairy.

when god sings with all his creations, will a turtle not be part of the choir?

i fight for a seat in heaven, every. single. day.

map maker? can you find me somewhere on the map where this big man thinks he's the king?

you bald-headed demon...

so... there are 24 million pigs in australia... and 24 million people... so if you ever feel lonely, there's like, a pig out there that's sort of your cosmic twin.

remember, alcohol is god's apology for making us self-aware.

i'm straight!! stop CONFUSING me!!!!!

you guys want something to eat? because... i know we'll die if we don't eat.

he is a BIBLICALLY gorgeous man. i wanna feed him grapes. i wanna fan him with the frond of a date palm from the forests of Lebanon. i wanna find the alabaster vial of perfume oil that one woman broke for jesus and comb it through his hair. like... he's stressing me OUT.

i'm not sad! i'm freaking HUNGRY!

maybe, if we wait a little bit longer, a fuck will fall into my hand, and i can give it to you.

it's not my fault you thought you lived in this IKEA.

let's leave my mother out of this.

jason may kill people but he's not bad enough to kick a dog.

i run for LUMP!

oh no, i'm all out of caring, baby!

you don't think it mcbe that way... but it mcdo.

what is this enticing bowl of white?

serious question, do his nipples sparkle?

what in the reese's peanut butter fuck is going on here?

if your parents don't buy it, stop loving them!

i just hope you know just how much you've decreased productivity today.

that was poetry at its FINEST.

and if you let that motherfucker shenan ONCE, you best believe they're gonna shenanIGAN!

may god bless the dinosaur that died to make the fossil fuel that was treated to become petrol in the car that took her mom to the hospital to give birth to her.

that's modern milk for ya. what a time to be alive.

you have attachment issues. please fix it.

remember when people had secrets? we should bring that back.

the moon landing was an elaborate marriage proposal.

i don't like the cobra chicken.

i didn't know eggs were this expensive? it's time to lay my own, i fear.

so you're saying the reason i don't have a girlfriend is because i'm not a big enough threat yet.

god gave him a top lip, that's why he's so powerful.

it's a common mistake, but frankenstein was actually the author.

i finally got a pocket-sized diary!!! also i don't get the concept of life.

if a beautiful woman disagrees with me, i will immediately change my view. i've no principles.

how did you all end up married to such boiled potatoes?

if so much as one tear drops from their eye... i will slap you back into your mum.

you are ringing a phone that does not like to be rung.

look how Dr. doofenschmirtz had a fucked up childhood but didn't project his trauma onto his teenage daughter. he projected it onto a platypus.

it is mathematically impossible for you to get a wedgie.

i'm breaking up with you. i love you, it's just... i don't think you could protect me from a mummy.

if you can't do fractions....... you will fucking die.

that's right; in the year 1791, all of our bottoms were killed in a Big Bottom Massacre.

people always assume i'm mean. like CAN you BELIEVE THAT CRAP?! like WHAT would make you think i'm MEAN?! I'M THE NICEST PERSON ON THE PLANET!

the chocolate milk is strikingly overpriced and at the same time very easy to steal; another of god's little tests.

someone's gotta tell the waiter that i ordered mashed 'taters and it sure as shit ain't gonna be me.

if i had a week i couldn't list all the reasons that wouldn't work.

[milton-chamberlain]

And I'm playing Enderal again

Now I'm plaing for a phasmalist again, this is my third prophet

They are from left to right: a psychologically unstable young scientist, a widow-huntress with the character of a caring mom and a rabid werewolf pirate

It's funny that I'm writing a little fan fiction on Enderal not about Tarael and the prophet-scientist, whom I ship, but with a huntress, because who but a wonderful woman with a big heart will help rehabilitate after such a shit

it's clearly not worth waiting for help from a dude with addictions and depression:/

[chysflo]

Jealousy Jealousy

Hey guys! this is literally my first ever fan fiction. Please let me know your thoughts and if you want a chapter 2 let me know and I will happily do so!! thinking of adding smut for chapter 2 so if this does well I will add it!

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The first thing you do when you walk into Abbott is head straight for the coffee pot. You've been working there for a little under a year now and despite not feeling like fitting in at first you surprisingly made fast friends with Melissa and Barbra, earning yourself a seat at their table. Melissa was wary of you when she heard about a new young teacher but you won her over quickly with your dedication to your job and the way you genuinely care for the children.

One day you had forgotten your lunch and she shared some of her food with you. It was the best thing you've ever had in your life. She learned over your pitiful attempts of the lunches you brought that you have no idea how to cook so naturally Saturday night cooking lessons became regular. 

You started to fall fast for the older woman. How could you not? She was the most beautiful person you've ever seen. Her passion and quick wit charmed you immediately. You shoved those feelings down fast and hard as to not wanting to ruin your friendship although it was becoming increasingly harder everyday.

Entering the breakroom you saw Melissa pouring two cups of coffee and as you walked over she extended her arm and silently handed you a cup.

“Thank you. You know me so well.” you quietly say slowly bring the cup to your mouth while taking a large sip.

“Anytime.” She smiles and pats your arm gently before sitting down. The affection she gave you wasn’t new by any means but every gentle touch you two shared made you feel giddy. You were just about to join her when an unfamiliar face walked in.

“Perfect right on time! Everyone, this is the new sub filling in for the week.” Ava spoke walking in directly behind the new girl.

“I'm Jacob! Thanks for coming in to fill in for Janine. What's your name?”

“Sarah. It's a pleasure to be here.” she smiled sweetly. She looked over at you, looking up and down and her smile grew. “What's your name honey?” She spoke while inching closer to you.

“Y/N L/N. '' You replied stiffly while looking at her, completely unaware of Melissa's shift in demeanor and the way her eyes immediately began to stare holes in Sarah's head.

“Well Y/N I would love it if you could show me around and help me find my classroom.”

“Sure.. no problem” you stuttered out not wanting to seem rude to the new face. 

“Thanks a bunch. You're a real sweetheart.” she slowly put her hand on your arm where Melissa had previously touched you. It made you jump slightly. You looked over at the red head who quickly averted her gaze and busied herself with her phone.

You frown at the thought of not being able to enjoy your time with Melissa this morning but make good on your deal and quickly left the breakroom. You walk her to where Janines classroom is in an uncomfortable silence.

“You'll be in here. I'm just down the hall so let me know if you need anything.” you force out in an attempt to be polite.

“Is that so? Well I will definitely be seeing you later then.” she winks and turns into the room to set up.

You don't see Melissa just a few doors down looking over with her hands in fists as she quickly tucks away into her room to start her day as well.

Lunch comes quickly and you file away back to the breakroom desperate for another cup of coffee to make it through your day. You spot Melissa and smile softly at her as she puts another coffee cup right on the table by your seat along with food she appears to have brought for you. You feel relief as you are about to make your way over to her once again when a hand harshly touches your shoulder.

“So Y/N, I was wondering if you wanted to grab lunch together. I'm new to the area and don't know where anything good is yet.” Sarah speaks up behind you.

“There is a great sandwich spot just around the corner on the right you can go to. I'm going to eat here though. Teachers salary and all doesn't really let me eat out for lunch.” You reply as nice as possible, turning to her hoping she gets the hint.

“My treat then!” she retorts and wraps her arm around your shoulders practically pulling you out of the room before you can think of anything else to protest with. You don't get to see the way Melissa fills with rage as she packs up her food for you, throwing it in the fridge and slamming it in anger. You don't get to see the way she drops in her seat staring at where you once were standing simmering with anger.

“Melissa you've got to calm down” Barbra sighs, patting her best friend's arm.

“Im perfectly calm Barb. I have no idea what you are talking about.” she practically snaps.

“Melissa it doesn't seem like Y/N had much of a choice in the matter. It's also certainly not Sarah's fault for taking a liking to her and making a move seeing how you have yet to. Y/N isn't doing anything wrong seeing as she doesnt know how you feel.”

“I don't know what you mean. We are just friends.” Melissa replies still staring at the door you walked out of moments ago.

“Try looking at me and say that then.” Barbra replies gently as to not scare her friend off or worse have her shut down the conversation before she can help her see clearly.

Melissa sighs and looks over, anger completely replaced with vulnerability. “There's no way she would ever feel the same. I'm twice her age. Maybe she should be with someone like Sarah. Someone her age that she can relate to.”

“That's nonsense Melissa. You two get along better than anybody. As for age I dont think thats a thing that's ever even crossed Y/Ns mind. Have you seen the way she looks at you? You'd have to be blind to not see the way she cares for you.”

“And if we are wrong? I can't lose her Barb, I just can't.” she replies softly folding her hands together looking down.

“You won't lose her. I doubt you could ever make her want to be apart from you. You never know unless you open up and try.” 

“Okay.” She gives in. “I'll see what I can do.” 

The day finishes quickly and you are packing up for the day. All the children have gone home and you are about to find Melissa and Barbra to walk out with them as usual when there is a knock on your door. You smile expecting to see Melissa ready to leave with you but it's Sarah at your door instead.

“Hey thanks for taking me out to lunch today. I had a really great time.”

“No worries. I hope you have a good day.” You reply in all hopes of getting out of this situation fast and catch up to your friends.

You don't hear as Melissa begins to approach your classroom to come grab you. She stops at the sight of Sarah and listens in.

“Hey before you go I was wondering if you'd like to go out saturday. Maybe instead of showing me around the school you could show me around more of the area too.”

Saturdays are reserved for you and Melissa. You knew that and there was no chance of you missing out of spending that time together. 

Melissa didn't have the heart to listen to your answer. Didn't have the strength to hear you say yes on the day you shared together. You see a flash of red walking past fast. You knew it was her instantly and quickly spit out “That would be lovely but I have plans. I'm sorry I hope your first day was good.” You brush past Sarah and start to follow Melissa into the parking lot not even bothering to listen to her reply.

You finally catch up to her as she is opening her car door.

“Melissa hey what's the rush? Is everything okay?” you say in concern as you notice how upset she looks.

“Everything is fine.” She spits out with venom in her voice. You recoil slightly at the harsh tone. “Why don't you go back to your new girlfriend? Forget about me like you have all day.”

“New girlfriend? Mel what are you talking about?” confused you rush out “ I'm sorry about today I just-”

“Just forget it, Y/N. I know when I'm no longer wanted. Why be with me when you could have someone like her” she replies before she even has a chance to realize what she says. “Fuck I mean. Nevermind.” She rushes out flustered and slams her car door peeling away before you even have a chance to process what just happened.

You stand there for a while until it dawns on you what she just admitted. She was jealous. She was jealous and an idiot. You were falling for an idiot. You quickly get in your car and follow her. You needed to clear this up immediately. 

You pulled into her driveway and practically ran to her front door. You knocked and knocked and knocked until she answered. She couldn't have been home for long as she was still wearing her badge and her shoes were still on. 

“She's not my girlfriend” you rush out. “If you had stayed around to listen you would have heard me turn her down. I will turn everyone who asks me out down. You wanna know why?”

“Why?” She snaps back at you. Her anger clearly has not faded away just yet.

“Because the only one I want is you. I've only ever wanted you” you say staring into her eyes. 

It must click in her head then because her gaze softens and she steps closer to you. “Even if I'm older than you?” she asks shyly.

“I just want you. All of you. Exactly as you are. That is if you want me too?”

She doesn't reply, she instead puts her hands on your cheeks looking into your eyes for any sign of hesitation. After finding none she closes the gap. You sigh into the kiss as you finally feel her lips against hers and you wrap your arms around her. 

You didn't feel fireworks or anything like that. Instead it felt like coming home.

Her tongue licked at your bottom lip and you opened your mouth to let her in moaning at the contact. The kiss became more frantic then. Your hands found their way into her hair and tangled themselves there. You both stumbled your way inside kicking the door closed behind you. The next thing you knew you were pressed down into her couch as she climbed on top of you. You took the opportunity to nip at her bottom lip and pulled slightly with your teeth ushering a hiss of pleasure out of her.

She pulled away and looked down at you. “I should have told you how I felt a long time ago. Imagine how much sooner we could have been doing this.” 

“We have all the time in the world now though don't we” you smile. “Besides, I like the way things went. You're hot when you're jealous.”

“Oh? Is that so?” smirking she lowered herself down again and to kiss you more. Softer this time. as if finally realizing you weren't going anywhere now that she had you.

After pulling away again she laid her head on your chest and looked up into your eyes. “I suppose you are mine then now huh?” 

“As if I could ever be anyone else's” you laughed and she couldn't help but laugh alongside you. 

You were finally home. 

[faerievampling]

A Night to Remember

read it on Ao3!

Minors, DNI.

Summary: You, Halsin, and Astarion have a threesome.

pairing: Halsin x Astarion x Female Tav

Warnings: 18+, Light Bondage. Dom Astarion (kinda). fingering. cunnilingus. PiV. Creampie. Anal.

Word Count: 3.3k

(This is my first time ever writing smut and fan-fiction. Please be nice but I hope you enjoy!)

The rest of the camp had cleared out for the night, leaving you and your lovers, Astarion and Halsin, alone in your suite at the Elfsong Tavern. You briefly wonder if this had been planned; but before you even have time to explore the thought, your suspicions are confirmed when you see the look in Halsin’s eyes as he approaches you.

“My heart,” Halsin takes your hand in his and pulls you to him. The feeling of his strong chest against your breasts makes you gasp. “Come here, to me.” Halsin lowers his head and you feel his warmth as he brushes his lips lightly against yours, causing you to sigh in anticipation. Halsin’s lips are on you now, and as he deepens the kiss you feel the soft heat of his tongue as it caresses your own.

You take a moment to breathe him in before you pull away, your cheeks surely flushed. Astarion is still in the room, and for a moment, you feel a bit insecure about kissing Halsin in front of him. Not like you hadn’t done it before - you and Halsin have shared a kiss here and there in front of your vampire, but this was different. 

There is a hunger in Halsin’s eyes, and you can feel the growth of his large cock against your belly button, which is likely where it would reach if he was inside you right now, you think. 

“Don’t mind me, darling. It’s alright.” You feel the familiar touch of Astarion’s cool fingers on your neck, brushing your hair aside. Astarion presses his lips on your pulse point, causing a shiver to run through your body.

At this point, the reality of your predicament dawns on you: you are now between your two lovers, and you can’t hide the blush that rises to your cheeks and chest. You can already feel your pulsating and swollen desire, right between your legs. You squeeze your thighs together in a pathetic attempt to relieve yourself, but it is futile.

You turn your head to meet Astarion’s gaze, looking for support. He plants a lustful kiss on your lips before looking back to Halsin, silently encouraging you to continue. Astarion’s lips and tongue are so sweet, and you already want more of him.

But when Halsin’s lips crash into you, your cunt flutters as your body reacts to the big druid. His tongue dances with your own, causing ripples of heat to surge through your entire body. Your cunt is already clenching again, and you desperately wish one of your lovers was inside you.

Astarion begins to nibble at your neck as his hands explode your body, grazing the sides of your breasts and the plush curve of your ass. 

Halsin’s hand falls to your shirt, which he begins to unlace. After the first few laces, Halsin’s impatience gets the better of him, and you feel the warmth of his hand trailing across your chest as he cusps your breast, thumbing your nipple as his other hand continues to work your shirt off of you.

Once your shirt has fallen to the floor and your breasts are exposed, Halsin pulls away, his lust filled eyes sweeping over you as Astarion reaches around to unlace your breeches. 

“You are a feast for my eyes, my heart. Truly, you must be the most beautiful woman I have had in all my three hundred and fifty years.” Halsin practically drools as he strips himself bare. You suddenly feel quite vulnerable again, and you turn to Astarion, your eyes wide with apprehension, excitement, and inquiry. 

Astarion’s eyes are soft, only ever for you, of course, but his lips are twisted in a devious smirk. He caresses your cheek with his thumb before turning you around and pulling you into him, his lips catching yours as his other hand finds a nipple and squeezes gently, causing you to gasp. 

“Is this alright with you, my sweet?” He asked gently; you tried to search his eyes for an alternate meaning, to make sure that this was all okay, but you find nothing. He wants this, and so do you. You nod.

“Do you know why I call her that, Halsin? My sweet?” Astarion’s voice was devastatingly seductive, dripping with sex at every word as he peels away the last of your clothing, leaving you fully exposed to both men. 

Halsin growls at the sight of you.

“No, Astarion, do tell,” Halsin turns you around to face him now, his lips finding your own as his hands begin to explore your body; you feel Astarion’s fingers on your neck, as if he is guiding you.

“Her cunt is uniquely delicious,” Astarion’s cool touch grazes the curve of your ass, causing you to settle into the both of them. “Maybe I’ll let you have a taste, my friend.” The words come out of his mouth so casually, it makes you quiver with anticipation.

Before you know it, Astarion gathers you up and lays you on your back on the bed; he lays beside you as Halsin settles between your legs. Your heart is absolutely racing at the sight of both your lovers.

Astarion grabs one of your knees, spreading you open as Halsin grabs the other, pushing them back so that you are fully exposed. 

Halsin shoots you a smile as he explores your folds with his fingers, his eyes feasting on your breasts and your sex. Astarion lets you take in the sight of Halsin for a moment before he takes a finger to your chin and commands your lips to his. 

Halsin caresses your sensitive wet folds with his fingertips, causing you to moan into Astarion’s mouth. The slick sounds your cunt is making at just Halsin’s touch is obscene, and it earns a moan from your pale elf.

“She is so pretty, don’t you agree?” Astarion asks Halsin between your kisses. You knew Astarion wasn’t talking about you per say, but your cunt. Astarion had always told you how pretty you were between the legs, even on your first night together.

And he had truly meant it. 

You break Astarion’s stride to look at Halsin, who has begun to probe your entrance with his finger. 

“Oh yes,” Halsin breathes as he inserts a finger inside you. The stretch of your walls cause you to look back at Astarion with a grimace; your pale lover only smiles. He looks playful, you think, and you wonder what exactly he has planned for the evening.

But he didn’t leave you in suspense for long.

“I’d rather like to tie you up, my darling,” Astarion whispers into your ear, his voice dripping with eagerness. You swiftly agree, desperate for something you had denied yourself for so long: to be used, fucked, taken wholly. 

Astarion works to expertly tie your wrists to your ankles, and your shins to your thighs, forcing you into a spread eagle position.

Halsin and Astarion stand above you. Your breath catches at the vulnerability of it all, and for a brief moment, you wish you could shut your legs and hide. Astarion, perceptive especially to your body, frames your head with his arms as he lowers himself on top of you, planting a gentle kiss on your lips before meeting your gaze.

The look in his ruby eyes was an invitation to his very depths, where you are assured that you were safe, kept, and loved. You smile at him, which seems to satisfy your vampire lover, who can now no longer hide his want for you.

“You look…precious.” Astarion says as he raises himself to standing and begins to finally undress himself. Halsin’s eyes dart from you to your beloved. Astarion looks particularly devastating as he unbuttons his shirt, and you eye his handsome face and his strong, deft fingers as he works to join the fray.

You watch with heightened interest as Astarion suddenly commands Halsin to his knees, and the druid eagerly relents. Your legs twitch as you watch Astarion dominate him; Halsin takes Astarion in his mouth, obviously quite learned. 

As Astarion strokes Halsin’s mouth, his eyes are glued to you, particularly fixated on your salivating cunt.

“Gods…I can see your desperation from here, you’re a mess…” Astarion says with a wild look. 

Astarion frees himself from Halsin’s mouth before he brings his attention to you, planting himself between your legs. Astarion places a kiss to your knee before he inserts a finger inside you. When he is met with little resistance, he chuckles before inserting another, causing you to moan at the stretch of your walls. 

But it isn’t painful. Quite the opposite.

“My, my. You are an eager little thing, aren’t you?” As Astarion fucks you with his fingers, he brings his thumb to circle your sensitive bundle of nerves, causing you to flower beneath his touch. You are already so close at unraveling beneath him; but right as you are about to arrive at your climax, Astarion shifts, leaving you empty and desperately wanting. You can’t help but whimper.

Astarion clicks his tongue at you as he lines his cock up with your entrance, causing you to squirm against him in desperation. 

“I’ll let you taste her, druid,” Astarion says as he pushes into you slowly, despite there being no need; you were so thoroughly wet and ready for him. 

“Only after I’ve had her,” Astarion’s voice, deep, silky, and smooth, causes you to flutter your walls with anticipation. Astarion pushes his full length into you, and Halsin is now at your side, taking your whimpers in his mouth as he kisses you desperately.

Astarion thrusts into you deeply: once, twice, three times now, and he is so deep within you that you can feel his balls on the curve of your ass before he slides himself out. 

“Taste her now,” Astarion commands, “I’m wanting a particularly special treat for myself, anyways,” 

Oh. What could he possibly - oh.

Halsins tongue was on you in an instant, lapping at your soaked folds and swollen clitoris. He hums against your flesh with pleasure as he tastes you. Astarion’s eyes never leave you as he pumps his own cock as he watches Halsin devour you.

Halsins tongue probes your entrance before circling your clit in a slow but steady motion, and you no longer care about how loud you’re being. You’re a moaning mess already, and as you get closer to your climax, Halsin’s motions become less organized as he loses himself in you: your scent, your juices, your taste. 

Halsin agrees with Astarion: your cunt tastes exquisite. 

Your thighs twitch as you feel the wave of your orgasm overtake you. Astarion’s lips find yours as you let go, and he is drinking in your satisfied little moans. 

When you recover, you writhe under Halsin, as you think that surely your overstimulated clit can’t take anymore. Halsin relinquishes your body, at least for the moment. 

Halsin uses the rope to sit you up before he lifts you by your restrained thighs and settles you on his large cock, causing a rather loud cry to escape your lips; Halsin was so thick. As Halsin presses his length into you, you feel Astarion probing at your other entrance, sliding a lubed finger in before you have time to protest.

Not that you wanted to protest - quite the opposite, actually.

The resistance between the two sensations nearly causes you to unravel already; you were already drunk on your two lovers, despite wanting even more. Halsin was leading your kisses, as your mind and body are already too far gone to properly respond. 

You are utterly helpless between the men when Astarion inserts another finger inside you, causing an intense wave of pleasure to crash over you as Halsin pushes even more length into you; you are so close, and you are already clenching around him, begging for release. 

“Oh, Gods!” is all you manage to say. You feel Halsin smile against your skin at your pleasure.

Astarion’s breath becomes uneven as he lines the tip of his cock at your other entrance.

“My love-“ You breathe, your words feeling like mush in your fuck drunk mouth. “Be gentle…” you plead.

“You’re mine, to do with as I please,” Astarion hisses into your ear, sending a shiver through your center. Astarion reaches his hand and grasps Halsins jaw before he reaches over your shoulder to kiss him; you watch as Astarion’s pink tongue slides into Halsin’s mouth hungrily, a fang catching on the lips, causing a droplet of blood to fall from Halsin’s lip down to your breast. 

The act was a lewd, shameless display of domination, one that Halsin happily obliged.

Astarion breaks the kiss to return to your desperation. As he inserts himself inside you, you moan and squirm, but Astarion is gentle, just as you’d asked. Once he is finally settled inside, he gives a triumphant moan before he starts to properly fuck you.

Halsin and him move in harmony, one thrusting into you when the other thrusts out. You desperately want to kiss your beloved vampire, want him to feast on your blood and your body; but Halsin is lovely too, so lovely.

You smile at him as another wave of pleasure crashes over you, and Halsin slides himself out as you contract around Astarion’s cock, causing him to moan loudly. You are a drooling, hedonistic mess.

“At the same time, now,” Astarion commands as his lips trail your neck, his fangs gently grazing your skin. Your eyes go wide as Halsin slides back inside you.

Your lovers now thrust into you together, and you are utterly filled; you desperately try to free yourself, but you are so helpless, you can't do anything but grasp the bottom of your feet.

“Is this too much?” Halsin asks you when he sees the tears running down your cheeks. You are almost certain your eyes are crossed at this point, and yet part of you still wants more. You shake your head, closing your eyes as they continue. 

This time, you cry out to the heavens as you come for both of them, and you are certain the whole inn can hear you. Astarion then slides himself out of you. 

“I want her cunt, now,” Astarion demands, urging Halsin to switch positions with him. As they maneuver you, you looked at the men desperately, pleadingly, as you are unsure if you could even fit Halsin where Astarion had been. The prospect is daunting, to say the least. 

Astarion must not have wanted to ruin you too much, and before you know it, your head is hanging off the bed as Halsin pushes himself into your mouth. Feeling Astarion in your cunt again sends waves of pleasure and content through you; he is so perfect, you are convinced his cock was made for you. 

When you break from servicing Halsin to look at your pale lover, you study him, checking in on him as you always did during intimacy. His curls are disheveled,  and sweat drips from the tip of his nose as his thrust slows when he catches your eye. 

His eyes are dark, his features harsh in the throes of passion. He glances at Halsin before returning his gaze to you; there was something unreadable in his eyes, but he discontinues your search as he snaps at you. “Pay attention to him, darling,” 

You make a face at your vampire before you take Halsin in your mouth once more. Halsins cock sinks into your throat, and you have to hold back your gag reflex as he fucks you. 

Soon, you feel Halsin’s full body shakes as he reaches his climax, spilling his seed inside your mouth. Astarion, still dragging his cock between your slick walls, which threatens you with another climax, looks at you expectantly. 

Your two lovers watch as you swallow Halsin’s spent. Astarion moans as he thrusts into you, this time so deeply it makes you yelp. 

Suddenly, Astarion slows his pace, leans over and plants his lips on yours, allowing his tongue to bring you back to him, back down from your orgasm. But his kisses are less controlled than normal. You know he is close. 

Just as he hits that sweet spongy spot at your depths with the tip of his cock, Astarion breathes your name against your lips, releasing himself inside of you as he does. 

The suite is quiet except for the ragged breaths of you and your lovers. Halsin lays on the floor, stretching his long arms and legs out. Astarion repositions you next to him on the bed, pulling you into his chest as he nuzzles your neck, clearly wanting to feed now. But he makes no motion to untie you, allowing you to sit in yours and his fluids. 

“You know what to do, my sweet,” Astarion whispers into your ear, his hands lazily caressing your used, swollen folds before inserting two fingers inside you, feeling his sticky seed on your walls. 

“That was wonderful,” Halsin finally sits up, eyeing you and Astarion. “Gods,” he says as he studies you over. 

Astarion’s fingers still remain inside you, his thumb lazily caressing the delicate bundle of nerves at the top of your mound, causing you to shudder. 

You are so fucked out, you can’t possibly come again. But you couldn’t deny how good it felt to be used by Astarion. You look over to him, studying his earth shattering beauty, focusing on his perfect nose and pretty lips before you hungrily taste them.

Astarion kisses you back reverently, humming against your lips with approval as he continues to play with your cunt.

“We’ve made a mess of you, Tav,” Halsin has a hint of a smile on his lips, but he looks a bit concerned. “Did you not get the fill, my heart?”

You are too exhausted to reply; instead of even bothering to try, you duly surrender yourself to Astarions touch.

Astarion circles your clit with his thumb as he speaks, causing your hips to buck under the pressure. “I think my little treat has one more, but it’s just for me,” Astarion was dismissing Halsin; a look of hurt, maybe confusion, flickers across Halsins face, but is quickly replaced by a smile. 

“Come kiss us goodbye,” Astarion beckons him over, taking Halsin in a deep kiss as he continues to play with you. Halsin leaves a sweet, almost chaste kiss on your lips before he kisses your forehead. “I will come find you both later,” He says as gathered his things and heads to the washroom. 

You and Astarion are alone now, and you nuzzle into him lovingly as he continues to play you like an instrument. Astarion kisses your throat, trailing up your jaw, and plants a kiss on the tip of your ear, before lowering his head to the curve of your neck.

He slides his fangs in you, causing you to cry out in pain; it hurts more than usual, but Astarion seems to focus on his ministrations, curling his fingers inside of you, causing you to cry out in a mixture of pleasure and pain.

You can feel yours and his come is dripping down your ass as you contract around Astarions’s fingers.

Astarion drinks from you for only a few moments before he releases you from his fangs. His fingers are still inside of you, lazily feeling you as he snuggles into the crook of your neck, lapping at your wounds. 

As you’re finally back in reality, you look forward to the aftercare that Astarion and maybe even Halsin will treat you to. You can expect a warm bath, massages, many kisses, and earnest words of love that bards could only ever dream of singing about. 

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