#[also that J on James? is the best J i've ever done]

[vlouette]

hey hi hello 👋 I'm in the mood for something angsty rn ANYWAYS what if jegulus broke up and James left a letter for regulus

TW: suicide mention, low self esteem

I'm genuinely very bad at this, English isn't my first language and I'm also not the best at writing stuff.

Dear reggie reg regulus

I hope this letter reaches you in good condition. I still have so many unsaid things to tell you but I'll keep this letter as short and simple as possible.

I want to start by saying that I am sorry, sorry for everything I've done, I'm sorry for letting you go so easily, I'm sorry for leaving so early. Ever since we broke up I've been thinking about leaving, I couldn't handle the pressure, the heartbreak, and everything that came to me in life. I felt like a burden going around places. I was useless, as useless as I would've been if I was dead. I was in the backyard a few days ago, thinking of reasons to stay alive, thinking of people who would miss me if I was dead, I came to the conclusion that maybe the world would be a better place without me.

I fell in love with you the first time I saw you, dark ashy blue eyes looking at me and I melted right there, I decided I would love you for the rest of my life (which I now realise is not very long). But I fulfilled my promise, I loved you till my last breath there isn't one universe where James Potter could live without Regulus Black. I remembered the song we used to dance to in the kitchen, stargazing in the backyard, reading books together even if I can't stay concentrated, baking cupcakes together while dancing on the counter, walking around the neighborhood till very late at night, going to different museums together because you loved them.

I have always loved every inch of you but if I had to pick one thing it would be your voice, your gentle, delicate words that carries deathly venom if you use them wrong. I remember when you used to tell me about the stars, your voice filled with passion and love, I would sell my soul just to listen to your voice once more I would give anything just to be with you for some more time, why did it have to end? why couldn't fate give us more time. Maybe that's how our story is supposed to go, not all story gets their happy ending, maybe ours was meant to end like this, I still love you Regulus Black, and I always will, I will bring my love for you to death.

I want you to remember me, even till death.

I think that's all, I promised to keep this letter short and simple after all, maybe in another lifetime we'd have more time, maybe in another universe we're living the dream life, but in this one it was always meant to end, sooner or later.

I guess this is goodbye, I'll see you in another lifetime.

James

Love Jamie

Yours always

-J

JUST TO CLARIFY! yes James did kill himself 🫶

[masonhawth0rne]

What I read in March

Hoo boy, it's taken me a while to get around to this again, huh? I want to say March was a busy month, but it's too much of a blur for me to remember what was going on. I feel like I was climbing a lot (I've taken up rock climbing, have I mentioned?) but otherwise, I have no clue where March went.

Anyways, I got some good reading done!

Edge of Infinity, ed. Jonathan Strahan ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Analysis & Critique: How to Engage and Write about Anything, Dorsey Armstrong ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Will of the Many, James Islington ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

And Put Away Childish Things, Adrian Tchaikovsky ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Gold Coast, Kim Stanley Robinson ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Best Science Fiction & Fantasy of the Year Vol 11, ed Jonathan Strahan ⭐️⭐️⭐️

New Rules & Guidelines From HR for Working with Humans (ss), Derin Edala ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Angel (ss), Derin Edala ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Martian: Lost Sols (ss), Andy Weir ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Forever Peace, Joe Haldeman ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Merciless Waters, Rae Knowles ⭐️⭐️

Dune Messiah, Frank Herbert ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Cursed Heart, Derin Edala⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Lair of the White Worm, Bram Stoker ⭐️

Pacific Edge, Kim Stanley Robinson ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Phytophthora Nosferatu (ss), J Corvine ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Minty Fresh, J Corvine⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Labyrinth of Dreams, Derin Edala ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Angels Before Man, Rafael Nicolás⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Lure, Tim McGregor ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Fascination, Essie Fox ❌❌❌

There were a couple of surprises for me this month, some were nice surprises, and some were...somewhat less than nice surprices. It's good, gotta have some surprises to keep you nimble.

The Will of the Many by James Islington was the first surprise, I had thought I'd like it well enough, the concept seemed interesting, and it turns out that it was actually fantastic. A smooth take on the dystopic genre, with a great attention to detail, and handling of social forces on the characters. The scifi elements might have come off as a bit silly if they'd been handled less skillfully, but over the course of the novel the real horror of the hierarchy becomes ever more apparent. Also it ends on a killer cliffhanger--where is the sequel??

A slight disappointment was that The Gold Coast and Pacific Edge, books two and three of Kim Stanley Robinson's The Three Californias Trilogy were...just not quite as good as the rest of his work that I've read. I found that TGC focussed too much on the 'futuristic party boy hedonist' archetype that I find stultifying in fiction, and while the surrounding worldbuilding was interesting I just could not stand any of the characters.

PE on the other hand was kind of...boring? Now don't get me wrong, I love boring books, but it was boring in the sense that I was reading it feeling like 'ok now when's the story going to happen?' there are only so many softball games which are metaphors for small town politics and romantic relationships that I can sit through. The other problem with PE, I think, is that it is aggressively middle of the road. In the other California novels, the protagonists have Forces to Push Against, but PE is set in a kind of idyllic postcapitalist cooperative, where small town politics is the biggest thing going on and the main conflict of the book can be solved with a strongly worded awareness campaign. Like I GET what was being done, but I also feel like this one could have been a third as long as it was and carried the same weight, but perhaps with fewer softball games.

Dune: Messiah was a nice surprise, I only read Dune last year, and I really enjoyed it, but I've only ever heard that the series goes downhill after the first one. Absolutely not! I'm really looking forward to reading the rest of Frank Herbert's Dune books!

The two real clunkers this month were The Lair of the White Worm by Bram Stoker, and The Fascination by Essie Fox. Both for similar reasons, actually. There was a whole lot of racism going on, in ways that were, y'know, disappointing but not surprising from a guy writing shock novels a hundred-and-something years ago, but really pretty upsetting from a novel that was published in 2023 and has lots of very positive reviews.

Having read several Stoker books now, I found that there was little of the sort of charm that I've come to expect from his writing. The characters were kind of flat and unpleasant, and the antagonists were evil for the sake of being evil. I'm actually surprised that this is one of his later works, because it reads as so much less sophisticated than the other things I've read.

The Fascination was the gift that kept on giving, if the kinds of gift you like are things like racism, ableism, and biphobia which seem bad at first, and then keep doubling down on themselves. The book also has an air of smug superiority, presenting sequence after sequence of exploitation dreck and then turning smirkingly to the reader like 'see I bet you assumed [something racist, ableist, biphobic, etc]'. The end of the novel hinges on a big reveal, which is that...one of the focalising characters has a disability. Which should, apparently, reframe how we've understood the character from the beginning, and which should shock us out of our assumptions that people with that disability couldn't be main characters. Or something.

I think it takes a lot of work to write something that makes the disability representation in Game of Thrones feel subtle and nuanced.

There was so much wrong with The Fascination that I could probably spend another several paragraphs listing them, but to be honest reading the book was unpleasant enough, I don't really feel like spending my evening reliving all that. My final criticism is that the book is insufferably twee and self satisfied. There was not one sentence that made me think that it was worthwhile to read.

To end on a positive note, all of the indie books and stories that I read were delightful! I've included links to most of them above, and it's really refreshing to read stuff that is smart, well written, and which actually has something interesting to say, even if that something is 'hey wouldn't it be super fucked up if there was a vampire in your flower bed?'

Anyways, that's enough for this month!

[hey wait, psst, did you know, I've got a novelette? It's available now: https://books2read.com/u/3kOvKn ]

Stars awarded at my whim

ss=short story

[bakerstreetbabble]

Sherlock Gnomes: my expanded review for IHearofSherlock.com

A couple weeks ago, I wrote a brief review of the 2018 film Sherlock Gnomes, and animated take on the legendary detective (as well as a sequel to an earlier animated feature, an animated version of Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet, called Gnomeo & Juliet). Shortly after I wrote that review, I offered to expand it a bit and submit it to I Hear of Sherlock Everywhere. They posted my expanded review today. I've copied it below.

"...scrambling over your garden wall." (EMPT)

Several years ago (in 2011, to be exact), when my older daughter was a lot smaller, we watched a fairly humorous children's film adaptation of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, entitled Gnomeo and Juliet. I remember how, as a five year-old, she was entertained, and there were enough tongue-in-cheek Shakespeare references to keep me interested as well.

As you can imagine, the “star-crossed lovers” do not take their own lives at the end, as the target audience would likely find such a thing a bit traumatic. Still, the animation was pretty good, the soundtrack was fun, and there was a very entertaining bit with Patrick Stewart as a statue of the Bard himself.

In March 2018, a sequel to Gnomeo and Juliet was released, this time a spoof on Sherlock Holmes: the title of this new gnomish adventure was—you guessed it—Sherlock Gnomes. The film is part sequel, involving the characters of Gnomeo and Juliet in new adventures, but it is also (of course) a spoof of some of our favorite Sherlock Holmes characters. In fact, the film starts out with a funny little bit where a few gnomes argue about which story they’ll tell next (“Game of Gnomes! Or The Gnome Ranger!”).  

Sherlock Gnomes (voiced by Johnny Depp) is a garden gnome detective (that is, a detective who happens to be a garden gnome), who is sworn to protect all of London's garden gnomes. He finds himself pitted against his old archenemy, Moriarty: a sort of "Bob's Big Boy" type of pie mascot (don't ask). 

Sherlock is a kind of self-absorbed character, who doesn't treat his sidekick Watson with the respect he deserves. Of course, this is a subject that has been explored in other Holmes films and spoofs. (The Holmes/Watson relationship in the Guy Ritchie films, or the spoof Without a Clue, both spring to my mind.)

Their paths cross those of Gnomeo and Juliet, who are attempting to improve the garden of the house they’ve just moved to, when their fellow garden gnomes are abducted by the evil Moriarty. Or are they? Sherlock Gnomes hears of that abduction and many more around London, and…the game is afoot!

Honestly, I found the film pretty entertaining. Depp was not the best Holmes I've ever seen (well...heard), while Chiwetel Ejiofor voices Watson with great subtlety and dignity. There were all kinds of goofy nods towards the Sherlock Holmes canon: Doyle's Doll Museum, Wisteria Lodge Florist Shop, a grating with "221B" on it, while Sherlock and Juliet encounter a "fierce" pug dog, which Mr. Gnomes calls "the Hound owned by the Baskervilles."

One character even delivers the entertaining line, “No ship, Sherlock!” And of course, there's the obligatory deerstalker cap, Inverness cape, and magnifying glass.

In a little homage to the BBC's Sherlock, perhaps, Mr. Gnomes occasionally retreats into a "mind palace" of sorts, with a completely different style of animation for those sequences (it looks like black and white cel animation, although I suspect it is still done mostly with computers). One little animation detail that I thought was odd: Sherlock Gnomes has a tiny little white beard on the tip of his chin! I think this was probably the only bearded Holmes I’ve ever seen on film. Not that a beard that small is really deserving of the name...

The voice cast is a panoply of celebrities: James McAvoy (Gnomeo), Emily Blunt (Juliet), Michael Caine (Lord Redbrick), Maggie Smith (Lady Bluebury), Mary J. Blige (Irene), and many more. Even Ozzy Osbourne has a brief role, as a somewhat befuddled ceramic fawn.

The animation is quite high quality, and the aforementioned "mind palace" sequences were bizarre and fun. The story is packed with enough action and silly humor to keep children entertained, while there are enough pop culture references sprinkled throughout to keep adults from being completely bored.

As mentioned above, Sherlockians will no doubt be amused by canonical references here and there. The plot as a few fun little twists, so the movie isn’t as predictable as some animated feautres can be. As a Holmes fan, I found it enjoyable enough, if not incredibly brilliant. The film only received a 28% on film review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes, but I've seen much poorer films with higher scores.

If you have young children, you could do a lot worse. Or if you’d simply like to indulge in 90 minutes of innocent fun, it’s worth a few laughs. Oh, and did I mention that most of the soundtrack is made up of Elton John songs? (One of the film companies that produced the film was founded by Elton John, so it’s no surprise.)

I would give the film 4 Calabash Pipes on a 5-Pipe scale.

[contractterminvted]

🖋️ (James Kidd) and 🖋️ (Victor Sullivan) pls!

Handwriting meme // accepting

@chaosandprotectors 

[jbitchboy]

The anticipated Part 2

After the break Mistress G asked me if I knew what the best way to put a strap on was. I of course feeling a little cheeky said to have me put it on for you.... this was met with a stern look and a devilish smile.

'Dont move I'll show you' as I sat there and the realization of what was going to happen I regretted my comment.

Mistress G walked back in with a harness and an assortment of dildos one bigger and thicker than the next.

'Open' I knew instantly what she expected and opened my mouth.

'Dont you dare close it'

Nodding and watching as she took the smallest and started pushing in my mouth. All the way in. She laughed.

'I can see you've done this before'

Next size up, again a laugh.

This went on for another 2 sizes when I started gagging.

'That's better' was her words when she fed an 8 in red monster into my mouth.

'So you want to put it on me right. You think I'm gonna allow you to get close to touching me. Only men touch me not caged boys.... but I will allow you to help'

With my mouth still open she put the strap in the harness and then pushed it into my mouth. Mistress G had me gagging on her big red cock while she was doing up the straps. Wonderfully humiliating and seeing her in that stance and the power she dripped was mind blowing.

I was led still cuffed back to the previous spanking bench. This time however only my wrists and ankles were cuffed to it. I could still move around quite a bit. Luckily

Mistress G then kissed my forehead put her cock in front of my face and told me to kiss it.

Walking around to my exposed ass I felt the lube I felt her fingers and then all in one I felt the head of her cock stretching my ass. With the head in..... 'fuck yourself' without hesitation I moved back onto her cock as deep as I could. Her hand on my ass the other around the leash.... 'more' I went back further moaning 'more or I'll do it' that was the deepest fuck I've ever had.

Mistress G laughing at me as I moaned a groaned and laughed harder as I welped as her nails dug into my balls.

A rampant fucking of my ass started I could feel my full balls bouncing around I could feel Mistress G's nails digging into my back I could feel her power and authority seeping into my spine.

Then I could feel nothing just a gaping empty hole behind me.

Breathing hard drool pooling in front of me. My mental state questionable. I opened my eyes to see a flesh colored cock in my face and without hesitation started sucking it. 'Slowly her voice soft and gentle I slowed down and sucked realizing that it was a water bottle with a cock shaped lid. Feeling the cold water in my mouth making me realize that this scenario had been and hour and how thirsty I was.

Final 40 min.

Kneeling on the floor in front of Mistress G a bowl of water in front of me and her with a bottle of water in her hand.

MG: 'Thank you James this was fun'

j: 'Thank you Mistress Gail you're amazing'

MG: 'I know, drink your water'

I spent the next 20 min talking to her. How I felt what I enjoyed what she enjoyed how we felt the session went etc. A cool down if you will.

She then made the offer of helping her house slave clean up or being bound while he cleaned up.

In two minds about it. I chose ultimately being bound.

I quite literally have not had that much straps chains and locks on me ever. I was essentially mummified in a combination of leather and chain I lost count for the locks at 15.

Mistress G's house slave dutifully cleaned up and wiped down washed as I stared on unable to move an inch.

When he was done Mistress G called him over to me winked in my direction. Pull down your pants which he did... pink frilly panties and the smallest dick I've ever seen was on display.... look Sammy his caged dick is bigger than yours if you had a dick that size ( take note I'm not particularly well endowed I'm around average) maybe we could also find you a cage.

He bowed his head and nodded.

The next 30 min or so was unstrapping me. Showering getting cleaned up checking the welts putting cream on. When I was finally done. I met Mistress G in her powder room there were 2 cups of tea waiting.

She was a vision of calmness. We spoke for a while about how Jess and I were exploring and how Jess had made all the bookings and how long I'd been in the lifestyle. And how long she had been a professional.

As I was leaving she handed me back the envelope with my cage keys in I saw the seal was broken she laughed and said she was keeping one of the keys in case I came back, then she could make me really cry.

I laughed she laughed

I got into the car and checked the envelope and yes one of the keys was missing lol guess she knew she'd have a repeat customer...

[awigglycultist]

Episode 3 rewatch! This just might be favourite ep so I'm really glad I got to watch it live

So I'm guessing it was an editing mistake that homeless man's cameo was taken out of the theme last ep?

Daddy

Frank is an asshole but also this ep makes me so sympathic for him. He's not totally bad.

The dog :( oh god

Holloway! Beloved!!

Sherman! You little weirdo

Jaime and Corey are such amazing actors

Shelia!!!! MILFFF

DAAADDY

I forgot about them singing the them for the suggies dbdhdj

"don't shame me!"

"yes. Best milf ever"

Marco!

Sheila's outfit!!!

"but growing up is optional :)" "growing up is for poor people Frank" ".... Right."

*spits out wine* "marry me?!? You just met me!!"

Stan Holloway for pointing out Frank's hypocrisy but also Frank's right Sherman's a rich spoiled brat

"rich people."

The fact Sherman acts like the from crunching something hard. Christ.

Becky!!!

The way Shelia talked to and about Becky alone makes me want to slap her

"I'm sick of it Frank" OF WHAT? IT'S BEEN LIKE DAY

"PETER PAN??"

"your both so rich it turned you into monsters! Your money turned you into monsters!" I love Frank

BARRY SWIFT!!!

I love him, his serious and calm tone while his leg is fucking bleeding

So no AIAH? *breaks something* /j

Vitamin D hehe

"LIKE A FUCKING MILLENNIAL"

Barry :(

TED ME BELOVED

And he's dead again :/

Considering it was two weeks Barry lived a long time

"oh well, I'll make another one" wtf is Marco. What is he. I still need answers

Nothing's impossible in Hatchetfield Frank...

Go off ig Sherman?

"Huzzah! I'm a kid again! "

Being Sherman's dad truly is the most terrifying thing

Killer Track

"WELL FUUUCKKK YOUU"

"You don't know me ill fucking kill you!" "oh your gonna kill me!?" this whole bit is so great

" come on guys. Let's go to Denny's"

God Thrash is SO funny

DUUKKKEEEE

"well I don't know I've never done drugs Duke!" "... I know Beth."

Duke my beloved :)

HOLLOWAY

"great. My life is in the hands of Barbie."

Duke probably while watching Holloway literally magically make Rose eat a slice of pie: yup that normal and there's a totally legit logical non actually magically reason for this :)

Ahh the black book!!! @thirdchildart did such an amazing job with it!!!!!

Tinky!

I still can't believe Curt kept giving us taco bell as a spoiler when we asked him for one and then turns out taco bell is mentioned literally once and is not important. But he also gave us fireworks as one and that broke our hearts so!

Can't wait to die in a week /j

"it's just a teeny tiny paradox it happens all the time!"

"if it's a ghost I'll trap it in this jar :)"

*Holloway on the verge of killing Duke* "get away from me!" "don't worry! I'm not going anywhere! :)"

"what are ya doing Darlin'?" :(

"sh- she wouldn't!" :(

I know she's not actually dead BUT OH GOD IT HURTS THEIR REACTIONS DUKE'S SO SAD HNGGG AND ROSE SAYING HITS HER FAULT AUUGGHH AND DUKE'S STILL SO SWEET AND THE CAT-

Oh to relieve the moment where Holloway starts to explain her past and then it cuts to the future I was so mad dndjdjks

"the killer track! Keep up Duke!"

James' character is SO done with Solomon

"did you want me cut the mic?"

Hailey's betrayal!!!

Ted!

Deb and Alice!!

I've seen the ep before but it's still so nice seeing all these characters

Duke was trying his best

Can't believe Thrash didn't actually sell his soul

Poor Thrash

"hey! Why are you still alive!?" is such a great quote out of context

OH GOD POOR KALE

"are you any good?" "NO! D':" "we're loud! :)"

AHH RUN AWAY WITH ME IT'S SO GOOD

Fireworks :''((((

"that was radical guys! I mean it! Bitchin!"

KALE :(

"feels good to be heros for once" yeah sure Duke

DON'T CRY DON'T CRY DON'T CRY-

"I couldn't forget you even if I tried you know how I feel about you!" :'(

"oh yeah. He was watching the fireworks" :'(

HNGGG I THAT BIT IS ALL SO SAD

Mrs Holiday!

"is that a tape deck in there Mrs retro?"

OH NEEDY BEAST VERSION OF THE THEME YESSS

I forgot about the Becky Barnes bit! Jddjdj

Paul is dead records

Director Barry Swift

What does it mean WHAT DOES IT MEAN

[wrapped-up]

ELLO FRIEND! 🌙🌙

it's been ages! how have you been? hope everything's good and well for you! things have been hectic but in getting my life back on track i am properly caught up and just jumped with joy at the email for the new chapter. and now I have thoughts™.

first of all is marlene is genuinely hilarious. oh my GOD she's so fucking funny, her povs are such joy and it's so fun to see how you develop her (and lily for that matter) with her own voice (since of course before you've only done remus sirius povs) I love it!! the content is brilliant! there's something so hilariously authentic in her interactions with people and the conversations - like the one with alan digby and his wife sandra who went up everest and didn't come back down?? literally where else are you going to find that shit it's priceless

second. DORCAS! so happy to finally meet her! the way you described her (and how marlene fancies her) had my heart ready to explode, she's wonderful and im very excited to see how that relationship progresses as the funeral/churchy stuff is all over now. my best bet is that marlene in her cotton wool brain is going to end up going back to the church just to see her and like.. have to pretend she's interested in religion when really she's just gay and pining. but honestly who knows. i can never predict your narratives and it makes them so much more fun

thirdly. remus and sirius. HELLO. remus is such a mess it's almost comical, when he banged himself into the pew because he caught sight of sirius in the silk shirt... oh you MESS. they're so enamoured with each other it's crazy you can FEEL it. and it's so inevitable that remus is going to end up going back to him considering how easily he cracks (example, the dancing scene with himself letting him look. my gosh.) they're like fucking magnets. also i am horribly attached to this little garden that sirius loves so much and i cant wait to see how it progresses and what lawyer-y stuff remus does to try and help save it. if sirius isn't already in love he is going to fall HARD

okay. this is getting too long i'm sorry but i need to talk about lily. she's wonderful. i know i said earlier all of your characters are so authentic and real but lily has to be the best of the bunch. she's just the perfect example of what it is to be a woman. her insecurities and her thought processes sometimes get me RIGHT in the chest, her endometriosis is so important and amazing to see represented so brazenly because reproductive issues with uterus owners are talked about so little! taboos on this stuff sucks! taboos on womanhood in general sucks! i personally want to give lily a little cuddle and tell her how wonderful she's doing but i cannot so i'm gonna need her and james to sort their stuff out so he can (your JP is so so wonderful by the way i'm halfway in love with him and i love what you've done with the J/L dynamic! they're feeling like right person wrong time, and I love that it's lily who kind of has to figure herself out before they come back together. it's so real; i've literally had a relationship like that. you always make me re-fall in love with jily so quickly and i love it <3)

okay there's many more things i could say but this is way too long so i'll stop here. thank you for your writing! the update made my day and your characters are near and dear to my heart. have a good one 🌙🌙🌙🤍🤍🤍

Hello dearest! 🌙 I hope you're doing well, and I'm very glad to hear that things are looking up! I'm really good thanks, just sort of mulling around writing the odd paragraph, eating blueberries and occasionally doing a bit of 'real' work.

Can I just say that when I saw this in my inbox, I gave a little squeal of joy?! You spoil me with such thorough and enthusiastic feedback and I'm ever grateful.

I'm so so pleased you're enjoying Marlene! I have also become very fond of her as I've been writing and I just love trying on her thoughts when it comes to her chapters. I'm also enjoying the Alan love because he's destined for great things!

Ooh, Dorcas. I can't tell you the patience I have had to exercise waiting to introduce her. I feel like in other fics I've written, she's never been quite fully formed in my head. This time, I've got a better idea of where I want her to go.

Sirius and Remus = tragic. Come on boys, just have a little cuddle.

Thank you for saying that about Lily. I read so much stuff where she's just this perfect, virginal figure and I just... can't see it. She's surely going to be just as messy as the rest of them!

Anyway, thank you again. I'm so thrilled you're having fun and wish you all the best for the coming weeks!

[padfootastic]

PEN WHAT THE FUCJ THIS WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF WRITING OF THESE TWO I'VE EVER READ. it was so good that it left me blushing and I'm BROWN, you know we don't blush that easily.

this had so many great lines oh my god i was screeching (internally) throughout the fic

"Not James Potter, though. Him and his ‘I’m-right-and-the-world-must-shift-around-me’ voice were far above such plebeian concerns." yeah that's perfect james potter description right there

". There was no point resisting James Potter- not when someone in that lineage had probably invented the word stubborn by virtue of their very existence." my heart was jumping out of my ribcage reading these masterpiece of sentences alright.

also the grounds scene had me weak in my knees; I'm a hoe for making sirius -haughtiness is my middle name - black near incoherent to begging for one james potter. it's my kryptonite. also why are neck kisses so fucking hot. there's just something about it

also want to congratulate you for nailing down the last two scenes because making the atmosphere fraught with palpable tension is hard. like anything smutty can very easily fall into- oh yeah they are having sex, good for them but to make it so that the reader can feel it, it's nit easy and you did it so well. you had ME quivering at times over them

you definitely didnt help the situation with your author's note but tbh i don't even want to help the situation, I'm also a hoe for taking down James arrogance down a peg by some exercises in bedroom and now that I've started thinking about it i can picture the scene perfectly (vivid imagination for the win) and I'll stop before i make this ask too freaky but yeah.

also love that we've all collectively decided that Potter's had the most lovely meternal house elf named rani

agshjashjj ASH!!! WHY ARE U SO KIND TO ME 😭😭😭😭 i…kind of…screeched externally when i read this? my family will not put up with me one of these days, i swear, i’m gonna be exposed.

listen when i tell u i had so much fun writing about james’ arrogance and confidence like i just. i’m in love with it. how much strength sirius draws from it. s wields his arrogance like a shield in the face of his insecurities & vulnerabilities and j does it regardless of it, it’s an innate part of him that comes from the sheer surety of self he has and that difference is so !!! james will mould the world to fit around his sirius no matter what stands in his way!!!

no okay ash. i was so nervous writing those scenes because i’ve,,,,never,,,done it for these boys? and i’ve never thought about them in a sexual capacity bc i’m always more focused on the soulmates aspect of their bond so it was actually so hard bc i was trying to not make it cringy or second-hand embarrassing and i’m very happy u liked it 🥺 (also my favorite was when james was just,,,playing him like a fiddle lol the adam’s apple part? yum. and hard agree on sirius being taken off guard—what is it with us and messing with these boys like this lol)

omg yes rani!! listen i have. Thoughts. baby me came up with her way back in like,,2017? wrote a whole fic around it (that ended in tragedy for some reason lol) and i literally fell in love with her. just like that. james calls her ra-ra and she makes chocolate eclairs for sirius and mails it to hogwarts and calls j jamesy as a compromise between little master/james and she’s the absolute best!!!

[hoggyywarts]

TWO OBLIVIOUS IDIOTS (pls head the tags on ao3)

Vote for Jegulus or Jily in the comments

also pls teach me how to do the read more line

Chapter 1: What a fucking mess!

Remus knew he had to find a way to get over his stupid crush on Sirius, considering it had gone on far too long, and Pads was never going to like him the way that Remus wanted him to. And, really, it was okay. If he were Sirius, he wouldn't want to date him either, with his furry little problem (not to mention his anxiety). But he knew he had to do something before he embarrassed himself in front of Sirius and lost all his friends. It was a wonder he even had them to begin with. It only dawned on him after Justin had asked him to go to Hogsmeade together that exploring other people would be an excellent idea to get over the beautiful raven-haired boy that was constantly near him. He couldn't just tell Sirus to leave him alone with his internal struggle, but sometimes he kind of wanted to. Other times, he wanted to constantly be near his best friend, hoping that he might reciprocate his feelings. Drawing him out of his musings, Justin poked his arm with his quill.

"Earth to Remusss," he said jokingly, laughing as Remus startled and fell out of his seat. "What'd you get for question four?" A furrow grew between Justin's eyebrows as he pondered the possible response to the undoubtedly.

Remus jokingly slapped Justin on the arm as he laughed through, " Not funny."

"Then why are you laughing?"

Remus pouted from the floor and exclaimed, "Be nice, or I won't let you look at my paper, and you're going to have to figure out the side effects of Veritaserum all on your own" Justin threw his hands up in defeat before offering his hand to help Remus up. Soon their heads were bowed together, diligently working on their homework with the occasional flirtatious remark from Justin, a blooming blush on the cheeks of Remus, a scowl from Sirius, and an elbow bump from Lily, who was sitting next to Sirius.

"Stop scowling; you're going to get wrinkles. Also, Jealousy is not a good look on you" Lily followed her words with a pointed look (eerily resembling McGonagall when Sirius knew he was in trouble).

Smoothing his face out, " I'm not scowling, and I'm definitely Not, erm, Jealous. I'm just, erm, concerned for Moony."

Lily raised her eyebrows, "Right..."

"We don't even know the guy! For all, we know he could be some serial killer who is out to get poor Moony. You know they are charming, right?"

Lily groaned, "Just admit you're jealous."

Sirius's face dropped as his eyes slid over to where Justin ruffled Remus's hair. His Moony liked Justin, and he didn't like him. Sirius didn't put that blush on his face; Justin did. Hell, he was jealous. He abruptly picked up his books, and with a huff, he sped out of the library, Lily quick at his heels.

"Sirus- Sirius! Slow the fuck down! I'm sorry I didn't know it would upset you that much."

Sirus stopped and turned around, waiting for Lily to catch up, and frankly, catch her breath. "No, I know, you're right. I'm just mad and jealous. Stupid Justin!"

Lily sighed and ran her hand through her long auburn hair, "Listen, I know Sirius, but don't make Re feel bad about this. If you love him, you should support his happiness whether it is with you or someone else. Got it?"

"Okay, I love Moony and want him to be happy. Listen, Evans, I'll see you tomorrow; I'm kind of tired," and with that, he waved Lily off, heading in the direction of his dorms.

what a fucking mess

Chapter 2: Not the way I want

Sirius slumped as soon as he waved Lily off and slowly trudged towards his dorms. His shoulders dropped even lower as soon as he dejectedly closed the door. He knew that Lily was right. Sulking around filled with anger would only push Remus away. But, also, who even was this Justin guy? The only thing Sirius knew was that the hat sorted him into Ravenclaw. Perfect for his smart Moony, he thought bitterly.

James burst into the dorm with vivacity screaming while twirling his tie in the air like a lasso, "GUESS WHO JUST GOT A DATE!!!!"

His erratic gaze found Sirius's sorrowful grey eyes, and his mouth made an involuntary oh shape of realization as his best friend's feelings towards the werewolf dawned on him. Although Lily often called James dense, James knew Sirius after everything they had been through together. And right now, he knew Sirius was going through inner turmoil, and he would have done something. Or rather, he was going to do something. But a blushing Moony was behind him, and he couldn't concern Moony the day before his date. He felt for Sirius, after all, who knew better but him what it felt like to see the one you love with someone else; however, he also knew that his best friend Moony deserved to be happy, and if he was in love with Justin, then that was that. Although in his humble opinion, Sirius was much hotter. Also, who was this Justin anyway?

"Moony did," Sirius spoke ever so quietly. James had to strain to listen to him while Remus only did due to his heightened werewolf hearing.

The furrow that Remus always got while studying grew between appeared between his eyebrows, "You okay, Pads?"

Sirius clapped his hands together and tried to pull himself together, throwing his brightest and widest (and hopefully not noticeably fake smile) towards Remus. "Of course! Now Moony-mine, what are you going to wear to this date of yours? Don't you worry. I've got it covered!" And with that, Sirius fled towards Moony's closet, pulling out clothes and frowning at some while nodding at the others. Unbeknownst to the two, he had his back towards; tears were prickling his eyes as he furiously tried to contain them.

98, 91, 84, 77, 70, 63. Counting down by sevens always helped him calm down, and by the time Remus approached his dramatics, his tears were just barely contained. At least they were contained enough to hold clothes up to his Moony to decide what he would wear (it was a hard task, as everything looked good on Moony).

Whatever bullshit Sirius was trying to pull, James knew better. He definitely liked Remus. And he most certainly knew Sirius was gonna sob himself to sleep.

Remus felt his heart swoop at Sirius' nickname. Moony-mine- ugh, I wish. He wondered what was wrong with Sirius as he sounded somewhat down, although his mood sure did seem to swoop for the better once he thought of the date Remus had. Maybe he got a letter from that dreadful family of his. Just as quickly as his stomach had swooped, he felt a sharp drop. The kind you get going down roller coasters. If Sirius liked him, he surely wouldn't be holding up clothes to Remus with glee.

"Moons..."

"Hmm."

"You zoned out for a second. I picked out that green sweater. It looks perfect on you," Sirius finished softly.

"Thanks, Pads. What would I do without you" Remus spoke as he pulled his best friend (ugh) into a hug. He felt Sirius's arms snake around his shoulders and gently rub circles on his back. He sighed in comfort until Sirius pulled away.

"Love you, night Moons."

(not the way I want)

"Night, Pads, love you."

(not the way I want)

That night when Sirius sobbed into James' shoulder, the only thing James could do was wrap his arms around him, put a silencing charm up, and gently whisper, "it's okay," which only prompted Sirius to sob harder until he fell asleep.

That night Remus silently sobbed as he tossed and turned until he fell asleep, wishful thinking turning into pleasant dreams of a dark-haired best friend turned boyfriend.

[ginnyweasleywannabe]

Last Morning Alone

Written for Blackinnon Week 2021

This is the first fic I've ever written so I hope everyone likes it. I also haven't re-read or edited it because I just wanted to get something out there for the week so I do apologize for any mistakes or weird wordings. I have another blackinnon story for blackinnon week but this week has been unexpectedly busy so it might not get written during the actual week.

Last Morning Alone

Marlene was beautiful when she slept, or at least he thought so. Watching her sleep was one of his favorite things to do. The war had taken its toll on him and he didn’t sleep much so he was always up earlier than her. He would wake from his minimal sleep and turn to look down at her and just think “holy shit.” This morning was no different. If he had known it would be their last day and night alone together he night have done things differently, made love to her, made she knew how much she and she alone meant to him but he didn’t so he just watched with silent adoration.

Marlene hated that he watched her. She knew it wasn’t her best look. Marlene slept like a bear in winter, she always had. He used to tease her about falling asleep all over the castle. Sirius thought Marlene was beautiful when she slept. She looked so peaceful. Ok so maybe peaceful wasn’t the right word. She was sprawled out on her back, hands above her head, mouth wide open with a little drool. He was just happy she was sleeping, she had been having trouble the past few weeks. Marlene normally slept on her stomach, mouth closed and that’s when she was peaceful, undisturbed, like a bear in winter. But she could no longer sleep on her stomach, not with the rather large now bump that was holding his most precious little boy or girl. So she slept on her back mouth open with loud snores. A particularly loud and harsh snore pulled him from his inner monologue. She had woke herself up. Stretching her arms up and blinking a few times she came too, seeing Sirius watching her.

She hated that he watched her. She looked over and there he was just like any other morning, smiling that same stupid grin that she fell in love with. She wanted to be mad and fuss at him but she was really too tired and her back hurt. Besides it never worked because there was no real anger behind the words.

“Whatcha you looking at?”

“Some girl I brought home from a bar once and she just can’t take a hint, she just won’t leave”

Marlene let out a laugh at that. “Oh yeah, see I remember some guy practically begging me to go home with him, look where that got me” She said gesturing to the bump giggling.

Sirius rolled his eyes but reached over and pulled her closer. “Any day now you know”

“I know, believe me I literally can’t forget”

“Your back?”

Marlene just nodded and snuggled closer but Sirius was already starting to shift them so that she was sitting in front of him and he could rub he back.

These were the moments Marlene loved. Just the two of them, when he would do something so sweet without prompting. Had you asked her a few years ago if she ever saw womanizer playboy Sirius Black rubbing his wife’s back because their unborn child was making hard to sleep she would have laughed and hard. If you had asked her if she was going to be said wife she would had told you that was just impossible because she was never going to fall in love with Sirius Black. Although deep down she knew that was a lie, it had been a lie since second year but she would never admit that to anyone, not herself, and definitely not him.

“What do you want for breakfast, I think we might have some eggs” Sirius didn’t sound very confident in this statement.

“You know we’re about to have a kid, we really need to get better at stocking the pantry and stop ordering take-out”

“No” Sirius whined “This kid cant take Foo Lin’s from me, babes everyone says we have to stay true to who we are before the baby came. Look at James, He wouldn’t even get a beer with me last me week”

“Take-out and going to bars are two very different things, so I think your Foo Lin’s is safe. Besides James didn’t go out because the next morning was Harry’s first day at pre-school and you boys went out the week before.” Marlene looked back at him

“Well I’ll go check on the egg situation and you can just have a lie in” With a quick kiss, too short for his liking but he heard her stomach growl he was out the door. Returning just a few minutes later, a sheepish smile on his face.

“We’re out aren’t we?” Marlene groaned, she really was hungry.

“Bakery on 7th?”

The suggestion was music to her ears. Her whole face lit up. She hoped from the bed with a newfound energy and began waddling around to get ready to leave. Sirius just laughed at his wife’s antics. If you had asked him a few years ago if he would be a mix of excitement and nerves for a baby on the way, he would have laughed and hard. If you would have told him that the mother of his child would be spitfire Marlene McKinnon he would have called you crazy. Although he had known he was in love with her since the first moment he saw her talking to James on the platform September 1st before first year, before he knew what either of them would mean to him but he was never going to admit that to anyone but her.

He quickly dressed and helped her put on her shoes. A routine that perfected, her refusing to ask for help and attempting to reach down or bend them up to her and eventually pretending to get distracted with the paper and sit down while he would put them on without a word about it. After a satisfactory amount of time she would pretend she was done with the paper and walk to the door.

“Marlene…”

She had almost made it out the door

“Hmm” Marlene would hum pretending she didn’t know what he was about to say

“Don’t you think you’re forgetting something”

“Oh sorry babes!” She leaned gave him a hearty kiss hoping to distracted him from his original thought. It had almost worked, I mean who could blame him, his wife was hot if she wanted a snog he couldn’t refuse a pregnant women. It had almost worked. Almost.

Pulling away he softened his face “Marls…”

Huffing she reluctantly sighed out a “fineee” and held her arms up. Still as stubborn as always

Sirius began to bundle her up, a heavy coat, a scarf, and topping it off with a beanie and quick kiss to her forehead.

Rolling her eyes but still leaning her head in so he could kiss it she huffed once more as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and they exited the flat.

“You know you’re the one who keeps bring up how we shouldn’t change because of the baby and yet you treat me like I will break at the slightest chill. I’m a Scott for sakes, we can handle this London ‘fall’…. Weak city boys” Mumbling the last bit under her breath.

Sirius just listened and nodded knowing she wasn’t truly upset. I mean she was carrying precious cargo, she was precious cargo so yeah he was going to keep it up. They continued to walk to the bakery. It was a nice morning, not too cold and he had probably over done the layers but too late now.

They had entered warmth of the bakery. She was so happy to smell the blueberry muffins. Marlene kept rocking on her heels, antsy to order and get some food.

“Finally…” she mumbled and was quick to order her muffin and a coffee.

“Marlene…”

“Fine. Change the coffee to a decafe”

“Marlene…” She was eight months pregnant, he didn’t think he was being unreasonable.

“Foo Lin’s, Sirius. And its small” She turned around to pay with a satisfied smirk. Marlene knew the threat of no more take out would shut him right up.

They began the walk home, her happily munching on a muffin and his arm slung over her shoulder. As they rounded a corner he felt a splash. They stopped and he began inspecting himself wiping the wet area on the bottom of his pants

“Marlene, did you spill your coffee?” She had stopped a few feet behind him as he walked forward.

“Marlene?” He turned around expecting her to be crying. This had happened before, she would spill a drink or food and just burst into tears but he turned around and she was just standing there wide eyed and panicked.

“Sirius, that wasn’t my coffee…”

Sirius could see the wet all down her pants and it all clicked it was happening, it was really happening. He quickly closed the distance between them scooping her up and jogging as smoothly as possible to St. Mungo’s

Regulus Michael Black was born 13 hours later.

[heroicadventurists]

Robin 80 ***spoilers***

Robin 80 was a wonderful celebration of the first sidekick... the Boy Wonder... Robin. This issue consisted of 10 stories focusing on the different iterations of Robin. While Carrie Kelley received a pinup in the issue, she did not receive her own story. Robin 80 focused on the five canon Robins. While some are upset that Duke was not included in this lineup, he was never an official Robin to Batman. If we count Duke, we have to count all of the "We Are Robin" crew. When given the choice by Batman, Duke chose to pave his own path as his own hero, which is commendable. Dick received 4 out of the 10 stories in this issue, which was fitting considering it is also his 80 year anniversay. My favorite thing about this issue was the acknowledgement that Bruce adopted the male Robins. Below I rank the stories in Robin 80 from my least favorite to my favorite.

10. Dick Grayson, Nightwing in Aftershocks

Writer: Chuck Dixon

Starting off my list is Aftershocks.  This story follows Dick after he has quit being Robin, and has assumed his new identity, Nightwing.  This story highlights perfectly how Dick operates as a solo hero.  He is brave, quick on his feet, witty, and of course, he saves the day.  This was a good one-shot but it didn’t have the impact that some of the other stories in this issue had.  However, it did serve it’s purpose of showing Dick coming into his own.

9. Nightwing and The Titans in Team Building

Writer: Devin Grayson

Like Aftershocks, this story serves to show how Dick operates as a team leader. He was smart, strategic, capable and decisive.  He was everything you want in a team lead.  As before, this was a good one-shot, but it also lacked the emotional impact that other stories on this list had. 

8. Dick Grayson, Agent 37 in The Lesson Plan

Writers: Tim Seely and Tom King

Like Aftershocks and Team Building, this story follows Dick as Agent 37.  In this story he is a mentor to a young recruit named Paris.  He gives her lessons throughout the story that contradict every lesson Batman ever taught him.  When he gets to the final lesson, he tells her the one thing that he agreed with Batman on “Ignore Your Mentor.  Do What You Do Best”.  One thing I really appreciate about the stories focusing on Dick is that each story is a progression in his vigilante career.  He has an actual arc in Robin 80.

7. The Supersons in My Best Friend

Writer: Peter J Tomasi

This was an adorable story about how Jon views his friendship with Damian.  Damian is a lot more vulnerable when he is with Jon, and honestly, he acts like the kid that he is.  This was a lighthearted and sweet story that shows a different side to our current Robin.

6. Tim Drake, Robin III in Extra Credit

Writer: Adam Beechen

This was a wonderful piece that highlighted how awesome Tim is.  For so many, Tim is their Robin, and it was nice to see him getting recognition in this comic. 

5. Stephanie Brown, Robin IV in Fitting In

Writer: Amy Wolfram

Out of all of the stories in this issue, Stephanie’s story made me think the most.  There was a very deep meaning behind this story once you get past the surface level.  So let’s breakdown this story.  The story begins with Stephanie showing up late to a training session.  She suits up in one of Tim’s old costumes.  Of course there are issues with this and Stephanie is busting out of the seams (not because she’s overweight but because she has breast, butt and thighs to contend with).  She complains about her hand-me-down costume while Bruce focuses on training.  Even with her top busted, Bruce is still training.  He even has the nerve to tell Stephanie she is distracted. Alfred shows up with Dick’s old costume as a replacement, and Steph asks for something “without a cup”.  Bruce FINALLY makes Stephanie a suit fit for a young lady, but when she puts on her new costume, Bruce tells her “no more excuses”.   Let that sink in.  He saw her complaints about wearing a male costume as an excuse not to train.  Let’s carry on.  They go to Western Town to take on Firefly.  The villain du jour does not take Stephanie seriously and calls her “Cosplay Girl”.  Stephanie is rash during the fight and does not follow Batman’s orders, resulting in her capture by Firefly.  She is able to avert disaster (barely) and saves the day, but Batman still chides her. 

Batman: “Tim would have waited outside”

Robin (Stephanie): “I’m not Tim!”

Batman: “I know”

Stephanie tells Bruce that she wants to be her own Robin and to stop trying to make her into something she’s not.  Bruce hears her and makes her a special closet in the batcave with her own costumes. This seems like a step in the right direction but we know how her Robin story ends.

At no point in this story did I feel like Stephanie was being sexualized.  it was more awkward and embarrassing than anything else. Neither Bruce nor Alfred said anything inappropriate to Steph, and no skin or nipples were shown thru her shirt.  She was just in a predicament where her costume was too tight because Bruce was making her wear Tim’s old costume.  And that was the point of the story (at least for me).  Bruce wasn’t trying to find a replacement Robin, he was trying to find a replacement Tim, and eventually get Tim back.

Bruce has a bad habit of trying to replace people in his life.  He did this with Jason and he did it with Stephanie, and the results where dang near the same.  Bruce replaced Dick with a direct copy, down to the hair color, race and costume.  Bruce was trying to do the same with Stephanie, however it was unsuccessful for obvious reasons.    This story really made me think about all the extra pressure Bruce put on Steph and Jason by trying to have them live up to Tim and Dick respectively.  Instead of playing up their strengths and letting them define what type of Robin they wanted to be, he wanted them to be replicas of their predecessors.    Both results turned out in disaster with Jason dying and Stephanie nearly being killed after she was fired. To me this story highlights how badly Bruce tried to use Stephanie to get to Tim.  It makes absolutely no sense that he wouldn’t make her a costume to fit her body.  But is it surprising b/c he did the same thing to Jason.  To me this story was a lot deeper than Stephanie busting out of her top.  It was about 1.  Bruce’s need to get Tim back 2.  Bruce’s lack of respect for Stephanie and 3.  Stephanie’s disastrous run as Robin.  Say what you will but she held the mantle for less than 3 months and almost died trying to prove herself to Bruce.  Stephanie never got a fair shake at being Robin, and this story highlights that perfectly.  She was literally setup to fail. Maybe I have overthought this story, but those are the points I got from it, and they are important points to be made, which is why it takes the # 5 spot.

4. Dick Grayson, Robin in A Little Nudge

Writer: Marv Wolfman

This is a story about a boy becoming a man and setting off on his own journey. In this story, we see Batman and Robin clashing on patrol, as Batman wants Robin to fall in line and Robin wants to make his own decisions. The issue ends with Dick thanking Bruce for everything he has done for him but leaving the nest to become his own hero. Bruce knew this day was coming, and instead of talking to Dick, he purposely picked small fights with him so he could make that step on his own.

3. Damian Wayne, Robin: Son of Batman in Bat and Mouse

Writer Robbie Thompson

This story lands in my #3 spot This story focuses on the fundamental differences between Damian and Bruce. Bruce knows that something is going on with Damian, he just can't figure out what it is. He wants to fix it but he doesn't know how. He can't rely on Alfred, as this story takes place after his death. On Damian's part, he is blaming everything on Bruce instead of taking responsibility for his own actions. While some see Damian's current storyline as a regression, I see a lost kid with no guidance. Alfred is dead, Dick is Ric and Bruce is emotionally inept. Jason tried to step-up, but that relationship soured quickly. Damian has no one to guide him, and is making bad decisions as a result. This story sets up the eventual showdown in the upcoming Teen Titans annual.

2. Jason Todd, Red Hood in More Time

Writer: Judd Winick

I was not expecting Jason to have the most heartfelt story in this issue. This story was beautiful and now I want Judd Winick to write another Red Hood miniseries or ongoing. This story highlighted the complicated relationship between Jason and Bruce in the most purest way I've ever seen. Even the artwork had an innocence to it. The story goes back and forth between a young Jason, who loves Bruce wholeheartedly, and an older Jason, whose relationship with Bruce is way more complicated and strained. This story highlights why Jason will always be a part of the Batfamily, because even with their complicated relationship, they love each other. This story just adds to the wonderful stories featuring Jason in 2020.

1. Tim Drake, Red Robin in Boy Wonders

Writer: James Tynion IV

The brotherly bonding in this story is what landed it in the # 1 spot. This story takes place prior to Detective Comics # 934. In this story, Tim cannot decide if he wants to attend college or join Bruce in forming the Gotham Knights. He seeks advice from Dick, Jason and Damian, with each one telling him something different. Dick tells Tim that he's a hero that the next generation can look up to. Jason essentially tells Tim that Bruce is stuck in his ways and he has the opportunity to be better than Bruce. The best advice however came from the little Gremlin in Tim's life. After some well placed insults, Damian tells Tim that he has accomplished everything he has set out to do, and has been successful in his endeavors. At the end of the day "You do anything you damn well please". The confirmations Tim received from his brothers was much needed for him and helped him make the decision to form the Gotham Knights with Bruce. I loved getting a "behind the scenes" look at how The Gotham Knights protocol was formed. Because of these factors, Boy Wonders has my #1 spot.

What is your favorite story from Robin 80?

[jilyesplz]

Hi, sorry for what is most likely a very weird ask 😢 but I've never read TLAT since physically I don't have the circumstances to commit to such a long abandoned and unresolved fic, but i love all your stories and writing so I read your TLAT fics too! I loved them, especially the fluff dribbles because you give them such delicious dynamic 😍. I read the first chapter of Potter and Evans too and I think I understood most of it even without knowing the backstory, but I have one question if it's OK? I know this must be selfish of me but could you tell me what's the deal with James and Carlotta? Was she the prettiest girl in school? Did he really love her and then she dumped him?! 😱

Hi! First of all thank you so much for reading my stories, especially the continuation when you haven’t read the OG? :o I’m honored! This ask is not selfish at all, although I do really, really, really recommend reading TLAT! It genuinely is such a beautiful work of art. With that said...spoilers are definitely available, so I don’t ~think~ it’s evil of me to answer this?? i honestly feel kinda guilty abt this lmao but...below the cut!

Hoo mama. Strap in for this fuckin ride. (This got unbelievably long so TL/DR at bottom lmao, but a lot of it is actually relevant to P&E)

First off, yes, Carlotta Meloni is the prettiest girl in school. That is her main character trait. Her main personality trait is knowing it. 

We....hate her with the fire of a thousand suns. Everything’s fine lmao.

So in July before 7th year, James and Lily almost kiss. It’s...wow. Just...WOW. But Lil is drunk and scared of her own feelings, so she calls it off at the last second, which James takes as 'nothing is ever going to happen between us.’ Then he pops off to his beach house as The Rich are wont to do. Carlotta is there, she flirts, he flirts back, she kisses him, he kisses her back, she asks him out, he says (Lily will never love me so) yes.

MEANWHILE, Carlotta’s best (only) friend Shelley Mumps has been in love with James since 462 BC, which Carlotta knows, but Shelley isn’t pretty and he barely knows she exists. It’s very high school. (TLAT starts with its main characters as very immature teenagers, and they grow a TON and become these lovely, insane, completely fantastic people, and then this plotline comes along to be like But Lest You Forget, Wow Are They In Fucking High School. It hurts. Jules is an evil genius.) Shelley hears that Carlotta is dating James, is furious at the betrayal, so she gets a tan (and a weight loss potion and much sluttier clothes) and starts trying to sabotage James’s relationship. 

Important background here: Pre-7th year, Carlotta was pretty universally despised by Hogwarts’s female population for shagging all of their boyfriends. So as soon as Shelley starts talking shit, a slow-motion school-wide catfight breaks out...which Mundungus Fletcher decides to monetize. Dung starts taking bets from the student population on whether James will dump Carlotta for Shelley. 

Ew. 

But again: high school. 1970s. James wants to shut it down, Carlotta says don’t because she prides herself on not caring what other people think (which James does too, but he understands that this is gross and awful. Car doesn’t care). Betting turns into voting on whether James “should” dump Carlotta for Shelley. What the fuck this actually means is left intentionally vague, and it of course becomes a popularity/fuckability contest. 

Up to now, Carlotta hasn’t really done anything wrong in this story except (debatably) date her BFF’s crush. That’s about to change. 

James wants to end the voting. Carlotta again says don’t, now because (Jesus Fucking Christ, get ready for this one) she has made a secret bet with Shelley: if Car wins, Shelley will leave them alone. If Shelley wins, Carlotta will break it off with James. 

Quick note: the whole time, James essentially lets Carlotta make the decisions, acting as if the women are the wronged parties, which, yes, the school is doing a super shitty and sexist thing. But if the roles were flipped and a girl were in James’s situation, we would feel AWFUL for her. I just think it’s important that the school is doing a really horrible thing to James too, and the fact that he’s the James Potter, Head Boy, Quidditch Captain, Universally Beloved Most Popular Bloke in School doesn’t change that. Just because he acts unaffected doesn’t mean he is. James Potter is human. And God, what a human. <3

SOMEONE GIVE THIS BOY A HUG.

Anyway. Vote’s coming up. James rigs it for Carlotta to get everyone to leave them alone. The Marauders, without telling James, rig it for Shelley (because they hate Carlotta for a long list of reasons, and they love Lily, and they know Lily fancies James) (oh, yeah! Lily realized she fancied James on the platform back to school, right before finding out he was with Carlotta. Quite a gut punch). 

Carlotta...fucking rigs it...for Shelley. 

Fucking.

I cannot. 

I cannot.

Twat. 

In her defense: James is in L* with Lily, and it would be really, really hard to be his girlfriend. Also, she misses her BFF.

Not in her defense: Literally every decision she makes in this process!!! Talk to him you idiot bitch.

So then Car confesses rigging the vote to Lily and they have a heart to heart (well, more of alternating rants. They’re not mates). L says Car should tell him, but doesn’t tell him herself because she’s Lily, and because she’s worried she would be telling him because she wants him rather than because he really should know...really, she doesn’t tell him because she’s Lily. Car initially doesn’t tell him, they almost kinda get back together. She commits her greatest crime here: once upon a time, Lily told Carlotta and Shelley all the “little things” about James that she’d noticed...it’s one of the story’s first ‘oh fuck, L REALLY likes J’ moments, but way before Lily has come to terms w that. Carlotta....then uses....Lily’s little things speech....to convince J to get back together with her. Dude, she’s worse than Umbridge. But then she changes her mind because Lily has made her feel guilty so she confesses, and they break up.

Wowza. Sorry for the fucking novel. I have...a lot...of feelings.

TL/DR: J started dating Carlotta after L rejected him, while still v much in L*ve with L but trying to deny it. Lots of high school bullshit happened, ending in a school-wide vote about whether J should dump Carlotta for her ex-BFF Shelley who also fancies him. Ew, David. Carlotta and Shelley make a secret deal that Carlotta will dump J if she loses, then Carlotta rigs the vote so she’ll lose. She loses, tells him about the bet and he’s like ‘OK I’m done with you.’ She then changes her mind, tries to get him back, but Lil’s goodness guilts her into telling him the truth about the bet and they break up. So to your questions...yes, no, yes and no. Lil thought maybe he loved Car, and in Potter and Evans, she now thinks he does because she dramatically misinterpreted what Libby was saying—teasing James about how unsuccessful his attempts at moving on were—as bro-y congratulations/teasing for how fast he found a rebound.