#“a man has to see a sunrise once in his life

[toxicanonymity]

beach walks

7k, Joel x f!reader; surf instructor Billy x f!reader (Billy gifs)

night walks au A/N: Picks up right after beach walks prequel.

SUMMARY: Paths cross, and Joel can't let you go. WARNINGS: I8+ angst, infidelity adjacent if you squint, drugs, dubcon (drugs/location) p in v, somewhat possessive!joel, exhibitionism, homoerotic tension if you squint. cuck!billy but you also sit on his face.

Joel can't sleep. He stares at the ceiling and keeps drifting back to what he shouldn't have seen - you in the pool with Billy. Plus, he evisions you fucking on the beach, in the hotel, in that stupid shack. He's not happy about it, but you’re so damn hot. He can't help the way his body reacts. He keeps hearing that moan, fuck.

He figures out what helps him get back to sleep, and by the end of the night, he's used all the lotion in that little bottle. 

He wakes up for the last time around five. He showers and packs his bag. It's still dark when he goes for a walk on the beach. As the sky hints at sunrise, he stands with his fingers interlaced on the crown of his head and listens to the birds. He’s been doing his best, and it turns out his best sucks. On a sandbar, he finds a live starfish missing an arm and gently tosses it like a Frisbee back into the ocean. 

What is he doing? He could've left it all alone. 

He walks back to the hotel and gets a cup of coffee and a newspaper. He goes out on the cafe porch to read. There's a yoga class in view on the beach, and he looks to see if you're in it. Yeah, there you are. His stomach drops and his nostrils flare with a deep breath. You look great, but he can't see your ass. Right behind you, there's Billy. 

Why Billy? He's impossible to hate. At least he's also impossible to tame. No way it goes beyond this vacation. But if anyone can make him wanna change, it might be you. Joel used to think Billy had it made, but he's a lonely guy underneath it all.

—---you------

Four of you are eating breakfast at a table for six in the dining hall. You're sitting across from Billy.

“Can’t miss with Billy’s Bistro. Never burn the toast, never give ya salmonella . . .” 

“Salmonella?” Your friend Kari asks. “Was there an outbreak here?” 

Billy has a spoon in his mouth, but his eyes widen. He looks back and forth between all three of you as he slowly swallows his chia pudding, then says, “Explains the Groupon, doesn't it?” 

“Gross,” Kari pushes her plate away. 

Billy shrugs, then looks at you. “Billy’s bistro,” he mouths with a subtle sparkle in his eyes. His face softens, then comes to life when he looks behind you. 

“There he is,” Billy announces. 

You look back and do a double take. Your heart skips a beat, and your eyes widen. Joel gives you a nod of acknowledgement. 

He’s wearing swim trunks, and his thighs look massive. All of him does. Did the memories fade, or did he manage to put on 10 lbs of muscle in what, two months? His hair is longer – only an inch or so, but enough to curl. You can’t stop staring. Your face is cold and tingly.

“Have a seat, mate.” Billy uses his foot to push out the chair to his right, at the head of the table. He puts his hand on Joel's hulking trapezius as he sits down. 

“Joel Miller. This man is a legend,” Billy tells you.

You glance at your friends, and they're as shocked as you. They met Joel once, at the restaurant. 

“Taught me how to roll my first joint,” Billy says. “Now I can't even get’m to take a bong rip.” He turns to Joel. “That was some good shit ya brought, mate.”

“Yeah,” Joel says barely above a whisper, glancing at you.

“Hey Joel,” your friend Nahlah says. 

“Hey, Nahlah.” 

You had barely let him sit down to say hello at that restaurant. 

“So you know each other,” Billy concludes. “Brilliant! What a world.”

“Yeah, we know each other,” Joel subtly nods, looking at you. He looks tired.

“Do they know the new you?” Billy asks. 

“The new you?” you ask Joel. 

“Health nut.” Billy grabs Joel's arm, beaming. “Look at’m.” He turns his attention to Joel. “On the straight and narrow. Can't believe it.”   

“Really?” you ask Joel. 

Joel sighs and side-eyes Billy. “No. Just had to, kinda. . . get my life together for a minute.”

It’s a punch to the gut. Getting his life together meant dropping you? That’s where he went? Your face burns, and your nostrils flare. 

“Excuse me,” you tell the rest of them, and stand up with heat in your chest, determined not to make a scene.  

“Catch up later,” Billy says and reaches for you as you come around Joel’s chair. You lean in and he gives you a kiss on the cheek. You don't look back on your way out the door. 

—

You get down to the beach, take off your sandals, and walk, heading nowhere in particular. 

Soon enough, Joel is calling your name, jogging. You keep walking, but he catches up. He walks beside you in silence, between you and the ocean. You try to ignore the stride of his hulking form in your periphery. 

“Guess I don’t fit in your new life,” you mutter, then swallow the knot in your throat and put your shades on, even though it’s not sunny. You keep walking. 

“Yeah ya do, baby,” he reaches for your hand. The tenderness almost gets to you, but it’s out of nowhere. You just can’t. You cross your arms and slow your pace. 

“Guess I never did,” you mumble. 

“I’m sorry.” Joel looks at you. You keep looking down, taking slow, careful steps. 

“For what?” you ask, looking at the sand for an answer.

“Bein’ a fuckin’ idiot. Wrapped up in my own shit.” 

“What shit?” you ask. 

“I’ll tell ya everything, but–” 

“--But what?” 

“We’re supposed to head out in like (he looks at his watch) fuck. Like ten minutes.” 

You scoff. “Did something happen?”

“No—well, yeah.” He looks around then asks, “You okay?”

You don’t answer. 

“You looked happy,” he says, gesturing over his shoulder toward the dining hall. It sounds more like a question than an observation. Yeah, you were finally having a good time without him until he showed up. Now you’re confused, and mad at him for confusing you. 

You stop in your tracks and turn to face him and the water. “What happened? You couldn’t even text me?” 

The sky gets darker as thicker cloud cover creeps over the sun. “I should’ve,” Joel nods. 

You barely have the energy to walk. You sit down on the sand. He better tell you, right now, if there's any hope.

He swallows and looks down and away, then takes off his sunglasses and joins you on the sand.  “Got in my head,” he mumbles. “So many times, I was gonna. . .even walked to your door one night.” 

“.. .okay?” You wait for him to continue. 

“Thought ya might think I was lame, cause I wasn’t the same, I was. . .” 

“You were trying to get your life together,” you recite, genuinely trying to digest it for the first time. A tear falls out of your eye and you angrily wipe it away.

He shakes his head. “Never shoulda said it that way. I had somethin’ to take care of. Tell ya ‘bout it when we've got time” 

The lump is back in your throat, full force. He’s really gonna swoop in just long enough to make you sad, then leave you as confused as ever.

He looks dejected. “I know, I’m an idiot.” 

“So what do you want?” you ask. 

He looks at the sea for a moment. “To start over.” 

“Why?” you ask and wipe away more tears. Your voice becomes strained. “What do you regret?” 

“Nothin’, pumpkin. . . shit, I’m so bad at this.” He groans in frustration at himself. “And I know it, that’s why I. . .” he trails off and shakes his head. 

You glance at his eyes and curse yourself for a twinge of empathy.

He claws a handful of the dry sand between you into a little pile and mumbles, “You deserve better, always did.” He smoothes out the pile, then pivots to face more in your direction. “Look at me, pumpkin’. Please.” He reaches for your sunglasses. You pull back your head away and take them off yourself.  You turn and face him. He wipes his hand off on his shirt before brushing tears off your cheek with his thumb. “Only thing I regret is bein’ such a dick.” 

You begin to stand up, not wanting to feel him suddenly leave you again.  Once you’re standing, you cross your arms again. You dig the toes of one foot into the sand.  Joel’s hands gently engulf each of your elbows, and he gets as close as he can. You don’t pull away, but you don’t open up either. He hugs you anyway. 

God, his arms are huge. He holds you tight and breathes into your hair. He mutters, “Think about you all the time.” You let out a held breath, then his scent fills your lungs. A wave of affection threatens to break down your walls.

Your arms uncross on their own, and he hugs you with his body fully against yours. It feels like a warm mistake. It’s too late now. 

“Ya know, I would’ve done it with you,” you sniffle. “Whatever this lifestyle thing. . .” 

He whispers your name and hugs you tighter. He holds you for a minute, and you dab your eyes on his hulking shoulder. The weight of his arms is as soothing as his scent. This isn’t fixed, you tell yourself. You’re not going to pick up where you left off. If he invited you back to his room right now, you wouldn’t go. But somehow, you feel for him. You’ve never seen him anxious or vulnerable. He’s always been so sure of himself. So full of himself, but in a charming way.

You begin to pull away, still determined not to be the one who gets left. “Guess you’ve gotta go,” you mutter. 

He looks sad as he slowly drops his arms, running his hands down your back. “Talk when you’re home?”

You sigh and look at your feet. Your self-preservation instincts tell you to cut him off. Quit him while you can. While you have the upper hand. While he can’t hurt you worse than he has. “What can’t you say right now?”

“A lot,” he answers without missing a beat. He seems to glance at your neck, but you can’t be sure. 

You shake your head no. 

“Please. Then I’ll leave ya ‘lone if ya want.” His eyes shift away. Does he mean that? Your eyes cloud up again, and you put your glasses back on. 

“I dunno.” You walk back to the main building in silence and slip on your sandals on the way in.  Joel hugs you goodbye. It feels like he doesn’t want to let go, and you don’t want him to either. Your arms faintly itch as he walks away, and you brush off the sand.

—

After Joel leaves, your friends finish eating and emerge from the dining hall. 

“Where’s Billy?” you ask. 

“He has a lesson,” Nahlah says. 

-

You go back to your room and take a shower, trying to wash it all away, but Joel’s presence lingers, even as you turn off the water. You lie on your bed looking at the ceiling. Nahlah and Kari are on the other bed, watching ghost hunters on the free cable. 

“How was last night?” Kari asks. 

You sigh and mutter, “I need a nap.” 

“I bet you do,” Nahlah teases. 

You drift off, hoping everything will sort itself out while you dream. 

–

You sleep for hours and wake up alone, without the clarity you’d hoped for, except that you resent what Joel’s doing.  You’re already falling under his spell again, and you don’t like it.  It would be too easy for him to break your heart again. You know what could take your mind off it. 

-

You walk down to the shore, and Billy is finishing up a lesson. He sees you and nods toward the shack. You let yourself in and wait on the sofa, emo and increasingly horny. 

He comes through the door and takes off his long sleeves. He tousles his hair and stretches his neck with his hand on the tattoo. He takes a sip from a squeeze bottle, then asks, “You alright? What happened earlier?” 

“Nothing,” you rest your head in your left hand, with your elbow on the arm of the loveseat. 

“He’s a good guy,” Billy says, then looks at his watch and shifts gears. “Got fifteen minutes.” 

He joins you on the loveseat, then leans over you, pressing a kiss into your lips and pulling you closer. The kiss is loaded. You welcome his tongue, soothed by his touch, but your energy is gone. You’re practically catatonic compared to before. He kisses you for a few more seconds, then breaks away and asks, “You alright?” 

You nod and kiss him back, then reach for his shorts, cupping his semi-hard package. 

He breaks away and reads your eyes. “‘S’alright, love.” 

He pulls away entirely and slumps into the loveseat, using the opposite arm as a pillow. “C’mere,” he mumbles, and opens his arms. You lay face down on his warm, bare chest, beads of sea water transferring to your beach dress—through one of its crochet holes, a pierced nipple teases your skin.  

Billy holds you. You lie there, relaxed, one leg over his. A tear rolls out of your eye and onto his hot skin. “Shh,” He rubs your back for a few minutes, his chest rising and falling under you. His cock twitches against your thigh between his legs, and a shock of desire zaps through you. His hips lift slightly, just once, and your eyes flutter open. He sucks back his chin to look down at you, then his fingers lift your chin to look at him. You’re no longer crying at all. 

“There she is,” he murmurs, with his pupils widening before your eyes. He reads your eyes and glances at your lips. “Fucking gorgeous.” His face drifts toward yours, your neck extends, and his lips nudge your upper lip before your mouths come together. You prop yourself up with your forearm so neither of you has to strain your neck. The kiss starts languidly, then heats up and his hands come to your hips. As you kiss, his hips lift into you, and his cock hardens against your quad. As he licks into your mouth, you slowly grind on his thigh. He breaks away, searches your eyes, and whispers, “attagirl,” before claiming your lips again. With your limbs slotted together, you make out, grind, and quietly grunt.

For a while, your thoughts are gone, then Joel walks back into your head. You wonder how good he’d fuck you now, if he thinks it’s his last chance. Still moving on Billy’s thigh with your mouth half-connected with his, your breaths get heavy with desire. Would Joel be rough? Would he be tender? Would he be how he is so often–ravenous, but deliberate and appreciative of every inch of your body? You imagine his cock shoving into you and the way he’d sigh, yeah. 

Now you’re gushing wet, already about to cum. You break the kiss to moan, and Billy breathes, “Yeah, good girl.” He grinds against you and his hands move you on his bare thigh, now coated with your slick. “Fuck, that wet for me.” Not just for him, but, yeah, that wet. His cock has hardened against your hip. “Mmm,” he moans into your mouth as his lips take yours again. Joel’s a good kisser too. A little more forceful, but still smooth. You’re thinking about Joel being under you. Imagining the first time you were in Joel’s basement, when he pulled you into his lap so decisively. You’re on the edge of bliss, sliding on Billy’s thigh. You bite your lip, then moan. “Yeah,” Billy encourages you. 

When it’s clear you’re not quite there, Billy breathes, “Sit on me. C’mere.”

His mouth hangs slightly open, and his eyes are black with lust. You carefully lift your knee off the cushion between his legs, and the light touch of his hand helps you on top of him as he watches, spellbound. You lower yourself at just the right angle and moan at the first direct contact with the stiff shape in his shorts. Your eyelids are heavy. 

He lifts up the hem of your beach dress, and you take it off. He moans at the sight of your body. 

His lips remain slightly parted as his hips lift, grinding against you. He palms a breast, and you massage your other one. He begins to reach between you, fingertips sliding into his waistband, then looks behind you at the clock. “Sit on my face.” 

He scoots down to put his head flat on the cushion, and you rise off his shorts. He takes his cock out with a sigh and spits on his fingers as you knee walk forward. He spreads the spit on his cock and breathes vocally, eyes on your tits. You could swear you smell his precum. 

He unties your swimsuit bottom and lets half of it fall, leaving your slippery cunt bare. His palms on your ass bring you down, and his scruff drags against your inner thigh. His warm, humid breath envelopes your most sensitive place, then his lips make contact.

One hand leaves you to attend to his raging erection, and he grunts a short “mm” into your cunt at the relief. He laps at your entrance, licking upward, then latches onto the space just above that. He licks your clit, then sucks. He moans into the bundle of nerves, and your thighs tremble. He breaks away for short moments, breathing hot against your folds as he strokes his cock behind you. He eats you voraciously, and you whimper. He’s at just the right spot, doing just the right thing, and he keeps at it.

You brace your hands on the arm of the sofa and think about Joel looking up at you from between your legs. You take a deep breath and see stars. Your body twitches and you moan, riding your waves, with Billy moaning into your cunt. He gently laps at your entrance and strokes himself faster. As your climax wanes, you rise off his mouth, with Billy still stroking himself, not finished. He gathers slick from your folds, brings it to his cock, then pants pants, “How ‘bout another?” He begins to pull you back down.

“No,” you whisper, “that was perfect.” You allow him to keep you there, hovering over him. 

“Wanna ride?” His voice is shaky as he keeps pumping his cock behind you. 

“Not now,” you answer. 

He turns his head slightly, seals his lips on your thigh, and sucks. You reach down between your legs and grab hold of his damp, salty hair to pry him off. 

“Mmm,” he responds,“Yeah.” His strokes are heavier and so are his breaths. You experimentally tug at his hair again. He shudders, then paints his stomach in cum, with a warm squirt reaching your ass. 

He scoots out from under you and asks for the third time, “you alright?” 

You tie your swimsuit again and settle into the loveseat, face and chest still heated from your peak. “Yeah,” you nod. 

He fixes his swim trunks then prowls toward you to give you a gentle kiss and you taste yourself on his lips. “You’re tasty, love,” he murmurs, then pulls away. 

He puts on his rash guard, then points at you, “Aqua tonight.”  Right, his DJ thing. He gets off the loveseat and looks at the clock. “Before I forget,” He grabs his bag and unzips a front pocket that looks to be full of condoms and pill baggies. He turns his head to ask, “How many of ya?” 

“Three, I guess.” 

He rummages around, then holds up a little baggie with three pills. “Just a little X.” 

“Oh, I dunno if we’ll–” 

He shrugs. “Might try it.” He looks at the clock and mutters, “shit.”  

He presses the baggie into your palm and closes your hand. He holds up a few condoms and asks, “just in case?”. 

---Joel----

On the road, Tommy and Maria talk and listen to music. In the back seat, Joel looks out the window, or he wants to look out the window, but he looks at his reflection. He can’t shake the feeling of your warm tears wetting his shirt, or the image of you kissing Billy, or the glance at what he’s pretty sure was a hickey on your neck. He’d be surprised if it wasn’t after what he saw the night before. 

The further they get from the resort, the more Joel’s chest tightens. He takes out his phone to text you. He types, “I can’t leave you with him,” stares at it for a few seconds, then erases it. 

Who even is he anymore?  

Something clicks. 

At a stoplight, he says, “Stop at that gas station.” Tommy parks at a pump. They need gas anyway., “Open the hatch,”  Joel says. Tommy pops the trunk and gets out of the car to pump gas. Joel grabs his bag from the back and Tommy does a double take. 

“You goin’ back?” Tommy asks, not shocked. 

“Yeah.” Joel pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’ll find my way home.” 

“We can take ya back,” Tommy offers, nodding in the direction of the resort. 

“Nah,” Joel scratches the back of his neck. “Need the fresh air.”

He and Tommy share a brief, manly hug and pat on the back, then Joel walks off with his bag on one shoulder.

-

Joel’s coming for you. He might not have the right words, but he doesn’t need them. Never did. None of this was built on words. It was something unspoken under something physical and fierce. He pockets his phone and puts on his shades, walking with new resolve. There are things he wants to tell you, and some of them need words, but not all of them. The words can wait. They’ll come easier when you’re back where you belong. 

Two hours later, he’s back at the hotel. He smells his own sweat soaking through his shirt, and his phone’s about to overheat.

“Long time no see,” the receptionist says. 

“Yeah,” Joel mumbles without humor, then forces a smile. He gets a room, puts his things away, then heads out to find you. 

You’re not at the pool. You’re not in any of the common areas. 

He goes down to the beach, toward the surf lessons. 

-

Billy’s showing off for a customer. Joel sits in the sand and waits. He admires the way Billy moves in the water, resenting him at the same time. 

When Billy’s done, he walks up to Joel. Joel’s eyes fall on Billy’s swim trunks, then his mind goes to your hands, your mouth, your perfect cunt.  

Billy extends his hand, and pulls Joel up. He pats Joel’s arm, then lets him go. “Got some time if ya wanna catch a wave.” 

“Where is she?” Joel asks. 

“I dunno, mate. Prob’ly with her friends?” He motions for Joel to follow him to the shack. Years ago, Billy more or less offered Joel a handjob in that shack. Joel declined, and that was that. 

As they enter the shack, Billy unzips his quarter-zip long-sleeve top and pulls it off. He takes a sip of water, then wipes off his mouth. “So,” Billy starts. “What’s the story?” He turns up the water bottle again and it makes a high pitched sound as he sucks it. “Ex-lovers?” he asks with a smile. 

Joel’s jaw clenches. He takes a breath through his nose and calms himself. “Not ex.” 

Billy chokes on his water, then wipes his mouth again. “Does she know that?” 

Joel rakes his hand through his hair, at a loss. “That’s my girl,” he nods, heart pounding. 

“I don’t think she is, mate. Women aren’t property-” 

“-cut the crap, Billy.” Joel’s chest is heaving. 

Billy’s eyes fall to Joel’s right hand, which is flexing into a fist. 

“Hit me if it makes ya feel better,” Billy puts down the water bottle and braces himself in a welcoming stance. 

This fucker. No, Joel isn’t going to hit him. 

Joel forces himself to relax, puts his hands on his hips and shifts his weight, shaking his head at the floor. 

Billy lunges toward him, light on his feet as if he’s gonna sucker punch Joel. It’s playful, but Joel drops his shoulder and tackles him to the floor before he can get in a jab. 

On the floor, Billy fights back, eyes wild, but Joel’s too strong. He pins him with his left forearm on his chest, straddling him. 

Billy grabs Joel’s left tricep. “Look at that,” he marvels. “Unbelievable.” 

Joel looks into the blue eyes staring up at him and wonders if you’ve had this POV. For a brief moment, he’s tempted to slide his forearm up to his neck. Billy looks at Joel’s right hand which opens and shuts in the air, stretching.  

“I can take it,” Billy urges. “C’mon, knock me around.” 

Billy’s enthusiasm takes the wind out of Joel’s sails and brings him back to reality. He releases his forearm and sits back on his knees, still bracketing Billy’s hips. Joel slowly stands with a groan, then helps Billy to his feet. 

—- Later at Aqua —--

Billy has given you the closest VIP table. You and your friends are sitting there with a drink. He points at you from his DJ booth, which is on a raised platform. All three of you hold up your drinks and smile at him. 

Kari and Nahlah have had their eyes on a couple of guys who are finally approaching. It's a group of three. You decline to dance, so the third guy sits down to have a drink with you instead, shouting over the music, “HOW LONG ARE YOU IN TOWN?” You look past the man, and Billy is laughing, looking down at his mixer board. After indulging the man for another minute or so, you excuse yourself to the restroom, hoping the man will take the hint and disappear in your absence.

On the way to the restroom, you pass a couple of dark rooms with hall windows and suspect people might be fucking in there. The half-pill you’ve taken isn’t doing anything, but you know better than to double it just yet. 

When you come out from the restroom, the guy is still at your table. You curse him under your breath and head outside for some fresh air.

-

You duck out a door that’s propped open. Smokers are milling about. A few partiers are comforting a crying friend. You walk just far enough to get some space from that scene and the artificial light. You lean against the brick wall to breathe. The tiniest droplets of sea water tingle merrily on your face. You open your mouth and can taste it in the air. You fill your lungs and savor the breath. A buzz hums from your skin.

Your dress has a slit on one side and is long enough that you can lift your knee and rest one foot on the wall behind you without exposing yourself—but that wouldn’t be the end of the world anyway. You watch palm leaves rustle in the ocean breeze and look at the sky. There are more stars here than at home. Maybe you should take a walk. 

You’re still gazing into the sky when you notice someone in a colorful shirt approaching. They flick their cigarette away and it sparks. You smile, and as they come into focus, they turn into Joel. 

Are you rolling that hard after half a pill? You’ve still got your wits about you, don’t you? You watched Joel leave this morning, and you’ve never seen him dressed like this. The colors vibe perfectly on his silk shirt, and a gold chain sparkles underneath. His curls are fluffier than earlier. 

He slowly approaches and wets his lips when he’s a few feet away. His eyes rove your body. When he’s close enough, he rests his hand on the brick wall to lean over you. He smells like cloves. He looks tired. He leans a little closer, and you look him in the eyes. 

“Thought you left,” you mutter.

He shakes his head, and continues to gaze into your eyes. “Couldn’t do it.” 

You run a hand up his chest, palm gliding across his shirt. His chest is strong, and the fabric is like cool shaving cream under your fingers. In the back of your mind, you still have so many questions, but you don’t ask them. Not now. 

“You can be mad at me,” his brows knit and he nods twice. ”I deserve that.”  His eyes lock on yours.  “But I'm not gonna let ya go.” 

Your nipples harden with a chill, and your lips part.  

His gaze falls from your eyes to your lips, and you tilt your chin up. His eyes fall further, to your neck, and he inhales sharply through his nose. You turn your head the other way. Still braced on the wall, he nudges your chin so he can look at the bruising. You feel his heart rate quicken under your hand, and you slide your hand up to the cold sweat beading on his neck. 

His thumb brushes over the bruising. He brings his mouth and nose to the other side and grazes your sensitive skin with his nose. His tongue teases you and you shiver, then he plants his lips. He grunts softly as he marks you. His breath hits your wet skin as he lingers there to murmur, “Missed how ya taste.” 

He returns to the bruised side of your neck and licks the mark, tenderly, then harder. It’s sore, but you don’t react. For a moment, his lips lay plush and soft against your damaged skin. Then he opens his mouth wide. He scrapes his teeth, then plants his lips and sucks, and you try not to flinch but let out a little gasp. He tongues and sucks at it for almost five seconds before releasing you. 

He soothes the spot with the light touch of his lips, then kisses up your jaw, to your ear, where he murmurs, “What are you on, and how much?”

You tell him. 

“Should be fine,” he mutters to himself as he pulls his head back. 

“Why?”

He looks back and forth between your eyes. “Wanna make sure you remember.” 

You wet your lips and swallow. 

He’s close enough that his body heat enhances yours. His whole presence is a warm embrace. You half-heartedly try to conjure what you went through earlier—the hurt, the resolve not to let it happen again. You can’t find it under your affection, wonder, and empathy. Something tells you it’s going to be okay. 

He looks at your neck again. 

You open your mouth to apologize, but he cuts you off, “Shh.” He takes your hand and leads you back inside. 

-

It’s dark, minus the red and pink lights washing over the dance floor, which is crowded but not quite packed. He gets two soda waters from the bar, and you sit down in the VIP booth. He has his arm around you, caressing your shoulder. Soon, you have your legs in his lap, just happy to have him close. You reach into your dress for the small plastic baggie. Joel is watching the dance floor and idly stroking your leg as you pour the other piece of the pill into your hand. Some of it is powder by now. Joel’s eyes return just in time to see you put it on your tongue. 

He squeezes your chin to open your mouth, then, with the same hand, sticks two massive fingers between your lips to retrieve the pill. “You don’t need this,” he mutters, then sticks what remains of the pill in his mouth and takes a sip of water.  “What else ya got in there?” Joel feels you up through the fabric on and around your tits, and his eyebrows shoot up when his hand catches on something.

He shoves his hand down your dress and finds it tucked under your arm: a small, foil square. He turns it over and the clear backing reveals a glow-in-the-dark condom. He tosses it onto the table, then pulls you tighter against him. Your hip brushes a warm bulge in his soft black pants, and it twitches. These pants would be so easy to slip your hand into, you just know it. But before you can try, he brings his mouth to your ear. “C’mon, let’s dance.” 

-

On the dance floor, Joel stands behind you, and his heavy arms snake around your torso. He moves with you, with the music, and runs his palms over your dress. His dick hardens, and those silky pants leave nothing to the imagination as the vivid outline grinds against you. You lose yourself in his touch, in the soft rub of his cock, until you sense someone watching and glance toward the DJ booth. Billy smiles to himself and goes back to his mixing board. Joel shamelessly grabs your tit again. You’re already so wet for him.  In the corner of your eye, you see Billy still watching but pretend you don’t notice. 

“You’re so damn hot,” Joel growls right against your ear as he massages your breast and grinds against you with his arm crossing your body and one hand on your hip.  “Uggh,” he groans in arousal. He jostles behind you, adjusting his pants, then gathers the long skirt of your dress. He covers your ass with himself before the air has a chance to hit you. Then his hard, naked cock slides between your thighs. You gasp and look back. He kisses the side of your neck. You’re gushing all over him. Your thong is soaked through, and he’s sliding along your folds, hot and hard. He moans in your ear. His tip pushes the front of your dress out with every thrust through that warm, wet sleeve of your thighs against your cunt. 

Each pass of his tip makes you need him so bad. You turn your head back to say, “Let’s go somewhere.” 

“You want it?” he asks and slides out from your thighs, reaching down between you to put his dick away before letting your skirt down. 

You nod and begin to lead him to the restroom, but he firmly holds your elbow. You turn around and put your arms around his neck to plead, “Let’s go,” nodding toward the bathrooms. He grabs your ass and grinds against your front, raging hard.  He holds you close and you give up for the moment. 

He dips his head and noses your chin up. His lips brush a sore area, and you twitch. You slot your fingers into his curly locks, making him growl silently into your skin. "Joel," you sigh. "Let's go."

Either he doesn't hear you or pretends not to.  "Mmm," his hum vibrates into your skin. He pries his lips off your neck only to plant them on your mouth. Your tongues meet, and you need him, you really need him. Now. 

After a few seconds of bliss, you break the kiss to plead, "Let’s go." He reads your face and shakes his head no as a dim red light falls over you in passing. Your mouth falls open in protest. He grinds against you, letting his answer sink in. And in case there's any doubt, he brings his lips to your ear. "Gonna take it right here." 

He gathers the front of your dress. You swallow, stunned and throbbing in anticipation. 

He takes his cock out under your dress, then lifts one of your thighs, and you hook it around him. He keeps your raised knee against him. Your shoes are just the right height. He pulls your thong to the side and there’s no mistaking how wet and ready you are. Right away, he notches at your entrance. You tilt your hips. His fingers dig into your thigh and the plush of your ass. He plunges in with a grunt, pushing a gasp out of you as he divides your walls in what feels like slow motion. Your eyes flutter closed and your head falls back as his cock makes its place inside you. He holds you against himself, and your leg stays hiked up as he retreats, then begins to slide into you to the beat of the music. He brings his lips to your ear. “Ohh–good girl.”

You’d envisioned this every day since the last time and somehow forgot it was this good. He holds you close, his body flexing, expertly moving inside yours. You’ve missed this, you’ve really missed it. He grunts and moans into your hair, unrestrained. The music is loud enough. 

“Fuck, you’re hot,” he practically shouts, holding you by the ass and thigh as he fucks up into you. It’s a thrill being full of his cock in a sea of people. The song changes and you glance toward the DJ booth. Billy is looking right at you. Joel’s pace slows to match the new tempo. You melt into his arms with the perfect shape of his length dragging between your walls. Billy’s eyes smile, and he slowly nods. You catch him adjusting himself just below the DJ table which makes your walls twitch. You bite your lip. 

The grip of Joel’s fingers tightens, pressing firmly into your flesh. Billy’s hand is still below the mixing table when Joel turns your face back toward him and kisses you. Everything else fades away except his mouth on yours and his cock thrusting into you. The smooth slide of his tongue makes you twitch. His thrusts become sharper, deeper with the aid of his bruising grip, and your mouths break apart with labored breaths and moans. God, you’re wet, and only getting wetter. 

Joel searches your eyes as he thrusts into you. The lights wash over you again, and his pupils are wide. You gaze at each other, and you hold the back of his head, fingers tangling in his long curls as he slowly fucks you on the dance floor. There’s a glance from one or two dancers, but no one cares. 

You steal another glance at Billy, and he looks to be in a trance with his mouth hanging slightly open. He wets his lip and he closes his mouth, then runs his hand through his hair. You bury your face in Joel’s neck, and his familiar scent enhances everything. Pleasure is building more with each thrust of his cock making you whole. Nothing compares to this.

Joel grunts and sighs, and twitches. “Ohh, fuck,” he sighs. Is he going to come like this? God, he’s sexy. He tilts his head down and noses your nose so your chin tilts up and he finds your lips again. He kisses you sloppily, loosely, breathing and grunting, and the way he fills you up— shit, he feels good. Are you going to come like this? 

“Don’t let me fall,” you plead. 

He stares at your lips and his mouth draws yours in. He bottoms out and stays deep, moving in short pulses, holding you so your front grinds against his. 

You break the kiss to sigh, “Fuck.” You whimper against his lips as it overtakes you in slow motion. You don’t hold back. The moan rips out of your chest as your body clenches around his. You pulse, and your body spasms. He holds you tighter. “Ohh,” you moan.

“Oh, baby,” He pants. Each thrust is sharp. “Oh, fuck,” he bottoms out and groans as he pulses powerfully.  “Ohhh.” He holds you still as you milk his cock. “Ohh, gg–unghhh.” When he’s nearly spent, an air horn sounds.  Joel groans, and you both look toward Billy. He nods and gives a low thumbs up as the last of Joel’s cum dribbles into you. Joel laughs into your hair, “I’m gonna kill’m.”  

Joel dips his knees to let his cock slide out. He lets your leg down, then your dress, and fixes his pants. He holds you for a whole song. His cum dribbles down your thigh, and you don't even wipe it with your dress. 

“Let's get outta here.” 

- 

You look for your friends, and they're still with the guys from earlier. Joel waits as you go over and say goodbye. When you return, he puts his arm around you as you walk outside.

Outside, he hugs you as you wait for an uber.  The night has dulled your anxiety, but it’s still there somewhere, and it reveals itself as you think about spending the night with him.

“I still don’t understand,” you whisper.

“I know, baby. Ya will. Promise.”

“Can you just answer one thing?”  He waits for your question.  “Who drives a black Mercedes?” 

You pull back to watch him react.

“Black Mercedes. . .” His brow furrows and he searches the pavement for an answer.

“The SUV you were in.” 

“Oh, pumpkin’,” his face softens.  “Just my lawyer, baby.” He kisses you on the forehead, which pauses your thoughts and weakens your eyes. 

Your phone buzzes with a call from Kari, but the call cuts off. Kari hasn’t texted, but in your messaging app, there’s a new group thread with three unread:

“come over to mine,” Billy had texted minutes ago. Then, “key’s under the cactus.”

Joel had already responded, “not tonight.” 

---

---

---

if you want the lore about the surf shack in didn't years ago here it is

I'm watching the comments and rbs for what people are excited about and what people want to see 👀

Thank you so much for reading. I really appreciate your patience and support. Your love of night walks Joel and investment in these two makes me really happy. Love you guys 🖤

@silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @fandomsfallnomore @djarinxore @blackvelveteen1339 @manazo @taeslarityy @str84pedro @lokanda  @kyloispunk @filthfairy @fieryglutenfreechickennoodles @harriedandharassed @moonlightdivine @worhols @fan-fiction-floozy @cutesyscreenname   @weddingfairy @pedropascal-whore @spideysimpossiblegirl @feministfanboi @prettypartyfavor @am-3-thyst @babeincolor @switchbladedreamz @within-the-depths @may-machin @sloanexx @paleidiot @yourmistysecret @bean-is-reading @rainstorms-library

[queuestarter]

mirrors

(finnick odair x reader)

cw: mentions of sexual abuse and prostitution, talks of self hatred, ambiguous ending

→ reader comforts finnick when he's having a rough morning

open to submissions/asks !!

You know what kind of day it’s going to be as soon as you wake up.

Finnick’s not in bed anymore, which is unusual for him. He usually likes to stay in bed until well after you both have woken up. He likes to hold you against his chest, likes to whisper in your ear about everything and nothing. He likes knowing you’re there.

So when you wake up during sunrise and don’t see him next to you in bed, you can instantly tell something is wrong. You’re not worried or hesitant, you are more upset than anything.

Both you and Finnick have experienced the Hunger Games, so you’re no stranger to the nightmares that stem from it and bud out into real life. But when Finnick has nightmares, he tends to want to stay in bed rather than leave it, so you know that his terrors must not be what woke him up.

You sigh, getting up from the bed yourself. You smooth out the sheets and the duvet before grabbing your and Finnick’s mugs with old tea dregs in it to deposit in the kitchen sink. A pang of sadness hits you when you don’t spot Finnick at all during that time.

After throwing on one of Finnick’s knit sweaters and making two fresh mugs of tea, you set out to find your boyfriend, once and for all. It doesn’t take much looking- you find him sitting on the back deck overlooking the water.

“Finnick,” you say quietly so as not to startle him. “I brought you some tea.”

He doesn’t turn to look at you but by the way he flinches you know he heard you. You frown at his subtle action. 

“Go back inside. It’s too cold out here for you,” he eventually says after a long moment of silence. “I’ll be in soon.”

You don’t listen, instead choosing to sit on the step directly next to him, placing his mug on the table in front of you. “The tea will warm us both up.”

He finally turns his head to look at you. You try not to stare at the sight of the bags under his eyes or the way his frown has left a crease on his cheek. 

“What are you even doing here?” He asks, catching you off guard.

You don’t let the question faze you for too long before you respond easily, trying not to set him off. “I wanted to see you.”

He shakes his head before returning his gaze back to the water. “Not here, here. What are you doing with me?”

This question does cause you to raise your eyebrows. You set your mug of tea down next to his. “I’m here because I love you. You are the most perfect man in the world to me.”

You catch the way his face seems to melt at your words, how tears immediately come pouring from his eyes. Despite how hard it is, you don’t comfort him in fear of making his breakdown worse.

“I’m not. There’s nothing perfect about me. I’m dirty and used up.” He buries his face into his hands.

You’re speechless. You and Finnick have been together for a long time, and while he’s had moments where he feels like he’s not enough or that what the Capitol put him through made him less than, he’s never said anything like this. After a moment of processing his words, you try to soothe him by rubbing a hand up and down his back.

“Everything about you is perfect to me, Finn. And you are not dirty,” you say vehemently. “What they’re putting you through has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.”

With his face still buried, Finnick cries out, “then why am I like this? Why can’t I live with it?”

You grimace. Every word he says resonates with you. While you were never sought after in the Capitol after your games in the same way Finnick is, you’ve seen the aftermath of the attention. You can’t do anything to change the past or what’s to come, but you can try to make things more bearable for him.

Afterall, he’s done so much for you.

“Can you tell me what happened, honey?” You dare to ask, hoping he’ll let you in.

He lifts his head up and turns back to face you. Your heart breaks at the sight of his watery eyes and red cheeks. “I just… looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. I hate my face for what it’s caused me.”

At this point you can’t help your own tears. “Finn,” you whisper. “There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with your face, or your personality, or anything about you. Those people are the ones that are wrong. The people in the Capitol who are too evil to see the hurt that they’re causing.”

He nods. “Yeah.”

Not knowing what else to do, you wrap your arm around his shoulder and hold him until he tells you to stop. And when he does want to get up and go inside, you still say nothing as you make oatmeal for the two of you.

There’s nothing you can do or say to stop his torment. All you can do is promise to always be by his side.

-

[fishysaltine]

Odd internet discourse but I absolutely think every single of the main NPC’s would peel and orange for TAV/Durge, mostly depending on relationship status.

Wyll would peel an orange for you if he didn’t know you, he’s the Blade of the Frontiers!!! Peeling an orange for someone, let alone his friend or lover with probably a breath of relief from killing goblins/giant bats/gnolls. And he’d be a good orange peeler too. He’d even probably break it down perfectly into the little slices too. He kind of gets a hiccup when Mizora transforms him but he quickly figures out how to put his new claws to use and uses them to cut the peel even better like one of those fancy orange peelers.

Gale probably wouldn’t peel an orange for someone if they were some stranger on the street, but most definitely if you’re his friend or beyond. But if you’re his lover he’d probably make you a magic orange tree that gives you perfectly peeled oranges whenever you want them, mostly bc he’s not the best at peeling oranges (the skin is too tight for him, ok???) and everything HAS to be perfect for his Tav/Durge. God Gale would just be like “you’re just not ambitious enough try harder”, give you a thumbs up, and fuck off.

Karach would totally peel and orange for her bestie, and most definitely for her Tav/Durge. The thing is she’d totally suck at it. I imagine she just bites the peel to get it loose, but then her claws would just cut into the orange and get juice all over her hands (and in her eye), and it’d be a totally fucked up orange BUT she would do her best and yk what? She can just squish it and make Tav/Durge orange juice. (Plus Tav/Durge can lick it off her hands so who’s complaining rlly)

Shadowheart would only peel an orange for you if you were her BEST friend/lover and also if she’s a Selunite. Yk Shar has some sacred law about oranges being some weird metaphor for emotions and she won’t stand for that as a Sharran. She would look at Tav/Durge with that incredulous “okay…?” Look she does and that tone she has when she thinks her dearest is being silly/stupid, but she would do it. She would also be a decent peeler I imagine, but she would leave those annoying white strands on it just to kind of piss Tav/durge off.

Lae’zel would peel an orange depending on how you approach her. I think she’d have to see you peeling an orange first, get curious about it, and eventually break down and ask “wtf is that?” And Tav/Durge has to show her how to peel and orange. Then it becomes some like wild competition to her, especially if you romance her and give her a peeled orange once. Then she just starts peeling oranges and is absolutely awful at it and then gets angry that she’s not good at peeling oranges. So in the end she’ll probably take your orange, peel it for you, go like “chck, see? This is how a true warrior peels an orange.” Just to show off how goddamn good she is at peeling oranges, then give it back. And in the end she is crazy good at peeling oranges. (I imagine Tav/Durge and Lae’zel peeling oranges, then exchanging them while waiting for a sunrise. I also imagine Lae’zel likes the citrusy taste, but not how sticky it is.)

Astarion would only peel an orange for you only if you’re his lover. People who don’t think he would have never seen him interact with Durge or Half-illithid Tav (heavy on Durge in their entirety). And I don’t mean this in a “omg he’s my Prince Charming” I mean it in a way of like, a silent act of service. He would peel an orange for a romanced Tav in Act 3. He’d probably look at you weird, but he’d peel it, being anxious and snarky the whole time (bc let’s be real this man has probably never in his 240ish years of life, peeled an orange. Probably makes a note about how “CAZAdor never had USE for ORANGES”). But he would peel it, and complain about his nails and clothes in that whiny tone that he has when he really doesn’t mind, he’d just taking the piss out of you because you’re an adult and can technically do it yourself. But he gets the point. Kind of. Non-ascended epilogue Astarion is the one who gets it, and isn’t as snarky about doing it as Act 3 Astarion.

Ascended Astarion would peel oranges for Tav/Durge only after they beg him too, he wants/needs to see them pathetic before he entertains the thought of being anything for them just for them. He would also be super manipulative and bitchy about it like “oooohhh look at what I do for you, darling. You owe me so such, my pretty little consort. I treat you sooo well, don’t I?” The whole works.

P.S. Halsin would peel an orange for anyone who asks, and I imagine he’s good at it. He’s Archdruid, which means he gets a +10 to fruit checks. And oranges he peels also just always taste the best too. It’s concerning how good they are.

[rasby]

M6 eeping

Or, sleeping, for those who don't know! I'm sick and writing these is somehow helping me, expect more of them!!

Asra

• Puts on your shirt (that he totally did not steal) and some shorts and calls it a day (or...night, i guess)

• They don't move around too much but they talk a lot

• You've recently discovered a new passion for talking with him while he sleeps

• They get a bit embarrassed about it once you tell them at first but you two gain SOOO many inside jokes that it's worth it

• Generally, his sleeping schedule is none existant. They sleep when they feel tired. Day, night, shop, middle of the street...doesn't matter!

Nadia

• She is a lady, okay

• Has a full nightly routine, face masks, hair masks, gowns, everything.

• Once she lays into bed though, there is NO waking her up.

• You're often worried she fell into another coma

• It doesn't help that she doesn't move at all

• She's just laying there, still, not making any sound (besides the occasional snore)

• Everything in her life is scheduled and so is her sleep

Julian

• He doesn't often choose to go to sleep

• He mostly passes out at his desk in whatever he already had on

• In the rare occasion that he does go to bed, he puts on an old shirt, no pants

• However he NEEDS his socks. They're a must have

• He has cold feet!

• He both moves and talks a lot in his sleep (it's less talking more muttering tho)

• It isn't unbearable but it may take you time to get used to

• No sleep schedule whatsoever

• It's a miracle he gets sleep, honestly

Portia

• Has a collection of cute pajamas and won't sleep without them

• Also has some cute cat slippers

• When she sleeps she needs something to cling to

• Most of the time it's you

• It isn't too bad, but you might wake up with an aching back

• You see now why Pepi chooses to sleep on the chair...

• She usually goes to sleep early because her mornings are always busy

• And just in general, she likes the morning air, it's refreshing

Muriel

• If he could, he'd sleep naked

• But that isn't decent, especially now that you live with him

• He resorts to sleeping in his undies

• He doesn't move around too much but he does snore

• And it's LOUD

• You get used to it fairly quickly because compared to the sounds from the forest, it's pretty tame

• He still gets embarrassed if you tease him about it though

• He doesn't like being up during the night so he gets to bed soon after the sun goes down and wakes up at sunrise

Lucio

• He doesn't care about being decent and sleeps full on naked

• He gets really hot during the night and this way he can breathe!!

• This man also FIGHTS in his sleep

• You wake up with at least 5 bruises on each body part every morning

• He's required to take off the gold arm for bed because you got hit with it so much, you almost broke yours

• Sometimes when he's having a very vivid dream, you have to get out of bed because he's moving so much

• Usually sleeps whenever you do, he can stay awake for days and can also fall asleep in minutes

[adonis-koo]

wicked • 16

↳ Summary: In a desperate hope to stop war from breaking you are a serviced to wed the most vile man alive, the one who has committed atrocities and war crimes beyond comprehension, he who is responsible for the fall of many nations, the wicked prince who’s heart is made of stone. You are to marry a man who challenges every belief and moral you stand for, all while being faced in a foreign land with nobody but yourself too trust…But are you both truly that different? Or is hate not too far from love?

↳ Pairing: Jungkook/reader

↳ Genre: arranged marriage AU, enemies to lovers, it’s kind of a period AU??? Historical but also technically not? prince!AU, eventual smut

Word Count: 10.8k

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Note: the queen has returned everybody! good luck

Wood echoed off of wood, clapping together in a viscous motion as Jungkook’s brows pinched together, frantic to stave off the aggressive blows. He was already exhausted though, training before sunrise until sunset, only to sneak out like this. 

It could get him in a lot of trouble- both of them for that matter.

He fumbled against a blow he deflected, stepping back only for his foot to hit a dip in the ground. 

The next blow came but his reflexives weren’t sharp enough to block it, resulting in the wooden sword slamming hard into his shoulder as he yelped out.

The breath felt as though it had been knocked out of him as he gasped for air, his back planted into the ground as his name was called- or perhaps the closest he usually heard to it.

“Your Highness!” Big brown eyes peered over him in concern, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

Jungkook sputtered, long black hair accidentally getting in his mouth as he waved her away, “You didn’t hurt me Wheein, and stop calling me that!” He hurriedly sat upright before slumping a little.

Though Jungkook said it, it didn’t take away from the fact that it did hurt, Wheein hit hard, perhaps harder than she intended too. But Jungkook wouldn’t shy away from it, he needed to be pushed hard if he wanted to one day be a good swordsman. 

Wheein quickly backed away from him, kneeling down as she peered at him, still in mild concern, “But you’re the Crowned Prince.” 

This made Jungkook cross his arms with a huff, he knew he was the Crowned Prince, but for once he just wanted someone to treat him as a friend. He hated his title, he didn’t ask to be the next King of Penumbra, and he certainly didn’t ask to be drafted into this stupid war.

Just the thought had fear plunging into his veins like poison, he only had two weeks of training left before his official draft would begin. 

When his father told him, Jungkook knew better than to cry, though he wanted to. He kept it in, but still his father was repulsed at the sight of the boy groveling, begging his father to not send him.

‘This isn’t fair, father!’ He remembered crying out, his eyes filled with hurt and glassy, on the verge of tears he told himself he wouldn’t cry. 

And then his father’s response was even more vivid than his own.‘Life isn’t fair nor is it kind Jungkook, and you best be learning that as soon as you can.’

Just the memory made him clench his fists, and just as his father suggested, he decided to put all of his anger and frustration into training. But no matter how hard he trained, how hard he tried, how much he exhausted himself. 

It still hurt.His uncle, Jeong Dae didn’t seem to understand either, he had gone to him in some effort to lick his wounds and receive a bit of comfort, but his uncle only replied by telling him he should be honored to serve his country.

That this was his chance to prove himself to his people, to the Rosewood’s, to the world that he would be worthy of being King. 

The only problem was that Jungkook didn’t want to be King. He didn’t want to rule, he didn’t want to go to war and he certainly didn’t want to die. And no matter how much everyone tried to pet him, he could see past their empty eyes, they were sending him to his grave, he was certain of it. 

“Are you okay?” Wheein frowned, mirroring his own as she set down her sword, “You’re crying…”

Jungkook’s bottom lip quivered, both in anger and pent up sadness as he roughly shoved his tears away. How they had managed to slip out was beyond him, but he wouldn’t let it happen again. For his father, his family, and his country, he would do what was expected of him. 

His feelings didn’t matter, evidently enough. 

“It doesn’t hurt that bad.” He shook his head, ignoring her words, “You should get back to Skol before Di Jin catches you out here.”

Wheein’s frown deepened as she folded her hands together, taking one long look at him before she took a breath, “Alright, you should rest as well, I know the War Matron has been pushing all of the underling’s after dark now that there’s only a two weeks left until graduation.” 

Jungkook set his hands on his lap, “If they’d let you serve the war would be over in a day.” 

Wheein offered a small smile, “Maybe, but I’m not a boy and I’m not royalty either. Rest well Prince.” 

And with that Wheein grabbed her cloak that had been discarded, pulling it over her head to conceal her figure before she disappeared into the dark. Jungkook might have been concerned had it been anyone else, but he saw her take her wooden sword. 

He winced as he rubbed his shoulder, she could easily bludgeon someone to death if they made her angry enough, she’d be fine. 

Jungkook had sulked for only a little longer before getting up, rubbing his shoulder as he grabbed his wooden sword before sneaking his way back to the boys barracks. 

“You are an idiot, truly.” 

Jungkook hadn’t said anything for a long while, his gaze looking out over their great kingdom, the very same one his great grandfather built stone by stone, all for it to turn into this? And even despite the shitshow of a display earlier the only person missing from the parlor was his father. 

Perhaps unwilling to bother with such trifles at the late hour despite it being the Crowned Princess who had been missing. Jungkook had felt his whole stomach lurch when he had woken up, you missing from his embrace and he attempted to be rational at first, assuming you had gone on a late walk and taken Yoongi with you. 

But upon seeing Yoongi still on watch outside the doors had him immediately reeling, flashes of anxiousness and worry wrought in his entire being which came in lashes of anger to everyone around him. It didn’t matter what Jeong Dae and Areum told him in an attempt to calm him down, he wouldn’t be until you were found and safe. 

And the relief he felt when you came in, when he was finally able to hold you once more and see with his own two eyes that you were safe, it was in that moment that he knew there was no going back with how he felt. 

You had somehow entangled yourself in his entire being, somehow wiggling your way into the forefront of his mind every time you were apart and making him constantly have the desire to keep you wrapped against him. 

And yet he didn’t understand. Your words still coldly rang in his ears. Things could not be over between you both, they had hardly even begun, so surely, out of a fit of rage, much like you had in the past, said something damning in the moment.

Still, it troubled him deeply, Jungkook shook his head, “I don’t understand what I said wrong,” He frowned, deeply troubled by what had transpired, “It was the truth nobody else would tell her…”

He was honest when he said he took no pleasure in telling you the truth, but everything he said was the truth you so desperately wanted.

Your anger was justified, but why couldn’t you see from his side…? He was stretched beyond thin and Jeong Dae had only goaded him further into investigating you, he was the one who had planted a seed of doubt. 

But deep in the crevices of Jungkook’s mind laid bare his true feelings, ones he wanted viciously to deny, but still they lingered in the dark, perhaps the seed had already been there, Jeong Dae only watered it.

“You don’t…!?” Areum raised her brows, groaning as she ran a hand through her hair, “Good god you don’t understand why she was upset with you!? Jeon Jungkook! You don’t tell the women you love that you were justified in what you did!” 

“Then what would you have me do?” Jungkook snarled, his gaze finally snapping to hers. 

He already had one woman scold him tonight, he didn’t need another one to further it.

Areum puffed a breath, crossing her arms, “You could first start by swallowing your pride and admitting your’re wrong, and then you could move along to groveling for her forgiveness. But something tells me she won’t care until you genuinely mean it.” 

Jungkook’s lip twitched as he angrily shook his head, “She’ll be fine after she’s done throwing her tantrum. She’s prone to saying cruel things when she’s angry, she didn’t earn that title for nothing.” 

His words may be cruel, but they were a truth no one could dispute, Jungkook was the first to witness your wrath the very moment the door to your wedding chambers had closed. Though in time he grew to know you as you were truly seen by those closest to you. 

Tender to the core, there was such a profound air of softness about you that was constantly coiled tight like a venomous snake, hissing and ready to strike at anybody who dared get close to it. 

And yet again, Jungkook was struck by your venom this night. When you loved, you were like the gentlest, warmth of days, the embodiment of the sun in his eyes, incandescent and enchanting, but when you raged? 

You were nothing short of a thunderstorm, not the rain but the lightning that followed, striking yet again in a chaotic manner that no one, let alone he could predict. Your voice was like a war drum that would not be silenced. Areum only raised her brows at this, “Right…well, let me know how that goes for you little nephew. Betrayal is easily the deepest wound one can inflict, lest we all know that here. Goodnight.” 

She spoke with finality before she exited the room, leaving Jungkook alone with his uncle. 

Silence lingered in the room, the fireplace roaring with flames and wickedly dancing as Jungkook glowered in the coals.

He only wanted your safety tonight, perhaps if he had stayed asleep, this all could have been prevented.

“Are you satisfied?” Jungkook finally asked, “She hadn’t even sent a single letter out until she began writing to her mother to inquire about Yule.” It left an empty feeling in his chest as he crossed his arms, “She’d never be a spy, it isn’t who she is.”

You were many things, a dichotomy to the court. You were soft but sharp, merciful but unforgiving, hot and cold. But of all the things you were, Jungkook knew the one thing you were not, was indefinitely, a spy.

He was consumed by paranoia when he sent for your letters to be searched, in hindsight he wondered if he had calmed his mind down, he would’ve made a different decision.

Jeong Dae walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder, “You did what you must to yet again secure your seat to the throne, we would never be certain until you had it done. True as Areum’s words may be, the girl will come to one day understand your reasoning.” 

Jungkook said nothing in return, his eyes still cast out over the dark kingdom, “I hope you’re right.” 

“Get some rest Jungkook,” Jeong Dae replied, “You’ll need it in the days to come.” 

Jungkook was then left alone with his thoughts before he reluctantly returned to his chambers where it laid empty just as he had woken up earlier, the bed felt entirely too big and as he laid awake in bed, staring up at the canopy a feeling began to creep into his chest that felt entirely too much like regret. 

“Princess…I’m not typically someone who pries but…is there a reason we’ve been here all morning?” Yoongi had finally spoken up after taking you to the stables at the first light of day where you had been keeping Fenrir company. 

At first you had went on a walk with him before playing with him and now you had been resting in the stables for the last hour, tenderly stroking through his fur as he rested his chin on his paws, perhaps sensing your downcast mood as he licked at your hands occasionally in comfort. 

The pup had definitely grown, he was bigger now, to some guards uncomfortably so, his head was perched at the top of your stomach when he stood tall now.

“No reason in particular…” You mumbled, not wanting to talk about it at the moment. You had so many things and feelings to sort through, and admittedly you were not used to working through it completely by yourself. 

Not only were you having to deal with Wheein being unrightfully accused of being the assassin but now with the betrayal of Jungkook having investigated you as a spy behind your back along with the news of Eunoia.

It made your head dully ache in all truthfulness, it would have been one thing if Di Jin pounced on you with a dated piece of information, something you wouldn’t have put past Jungkook to do just after your wedding. 

But two weeks ago?

Two weeks?

You felt incredibly naive and stupid to believe, geniunely that you both were closer then this. You didn’t know how to feel, about anything anymore, and more than anything you were wrought with homesickness. 

You didn’t want the gray chilled days anymore, you wanted to go home. 

Yoongi sighed in exasperation as he nodded, “Very well, then let’s discuss why you thought it was a good decision to go outside the castle after hours, by yourself, telling no one of your status and meeting up with the sworn enemy of the crown!”

Your lip jutted a little, not appreciating the scolding, but it was a foolish decision you made and the least you deserved was this for that. One thing however caused your head to shoot up right, “How did you…?” 

It was one thing for you to admit to going to the Undeside, but how could Yoongi know that you met up with Claudin? He fled the moment he got you outside the courtyard. 

“I’m Areum’s right hand and before that an assassin, I have more eyes then just my own after hours.” Yoongi’s glare furrowed, “And to let that rat take you to the Underside, did you want a death sentence Princess?”

You glumly leaned back against the wooden wall, your hand mindlessly stroking Fenrir’s side as he sprawled out at the attention, his feet digging into your side but you paid it no mind. Had you not gone to the Underside you would’ve assumed he meant all of the looming assassination threats.

But after having gone, it was only now that you realized being assassinated was a lot lower on the list of ways you could potentially die in Penumbra then you had originally thought. It was undeniable that your eyes were opened to the truth. Just about everyone in this damn kingdom wanted your head on a pike. It was a bitter pill to swallow. 

“Well it’s certainly come to my attention that a death sentence for me is far more imminent then the court ever let on. If visiting the Underside was anything to go by.” You mumbled the comment that occupied your mind. 

Yoongi ignored your question, “Send me outside if it upsets you Princess but I’m going to ask anyway, why did you go with him?” You shook your head, lip twitching with anger just as he anticipated, “I had no other choice,” You finally spoke, eyes raw with rage, “Not a single person in this castle dared to tell me anything, it’s as if, I was living in a bubble this whole time, blind to what’s been going on in the outside world. I took no pleasure in going with Claudin, but he was the only one willing to show me the truth.” 

Yoongi frowned deeply as he crossed his arms, “And how is that cold truth treating you Princess? Being ignorant is a blessing few come by these days.”

Your eyes stung with tears of rage but you refused to let them fall, “That is a luxury I was never allowed to have as a child. I tended to the disembodied civilians of children, men and women alike, all left from the wars your country waged. I stoked the fires with their bodies and choked on the ash of their bones. Ignorance was never an option.”

Yoongi huffed shaking his head, as though he didn’t particularly enjoy hearing about the mess they caused without thinking twice, “How long will you weaponize the past against Penumbra?” 

You shook your head, “It’s not a matter of weaponizing, it goes beyond Penumbra, beyond myself, it goes back to the Age of Celestia, the moment the Dryads left this earth, the moment we were stripped from our grace. That’s when our eyes were opened to the world around us, it is our curse to bear. To be savage, tooth and fang and yet wholly crave the peace of the earth.”

“Call it whatever you may, but I would always rather the unpleasant truth than the sweetness of lies.”

Yoongi said no more, leaning against the side of the wall as he shook his head. 

It was silent for a long moment before you spoke up, not wanting to bid ill with him, after all he was your personal knight, or you supposed assassin was a better interpretation. He had every right to be upset with you, but you didn’t want any more bad blood to fester. 

“Last night,” You frowned, “When Di Jin came in, it was he who announced I went to the Underside.” 

Yoonig snorted, “A pot-stirrer that one, I’m not surprised.” 

“Neither am I,” You admitted, the little time you’ve spent with Di Jin would point to such, “But it was what Jungkook said to him in return. Something that insinuated Di Jin played a hand in the Underside…?” 

‘My wife would never step foot in that pit you caused.’

Jungkook’s words rang in your ears as you glanced at Yoongi, perhaps with him being Areum’s right hand, he would have more insight into this. Yoongi however only sighed as he ran a hand through his hair before he finally took a seat upon a bale of hay that was against the wall beside him.

“While I am still indefinitely angry at you,” Yoongi glared a little before it softened, “I also want to impart some knowledge on you, seeing how serious you take this whole truthful business. While what you saw in the Underside is very real, it is only a fragment of Penumbra as a whole. It is the depths of criminal activity and the most low or dangerous of people roam.” 

“Di Jin was the captain of the Guard during the five year war, but during this time, we had serviced many into the war to help, many volunteered as well, food had to be rationed and many mourned for their men and boys that would not return. But many men also resisted to help in the war, they flooded the streets with crime of all sorts as a way to rebel against the draft,”

Yoongi frowned as he recalled those days, “While the King was busy buried in the war room, Di Jin took it upon himself to create a prison of sorts in the lowest district in the city, him and his guard raided the whole Capitol at night and threw them all in there as some means of justice and restoring order.” 

You tilted your heads in curiosity at his words. 

“And I understand the idea he had in mind,” Yoongi admitted before scoffing, “But imagine it Princess, throwing all of the lowly thieves and murders together in one place? It’d be hell on earth, well instead of murdering one another like Di Jin assumed they would, they ended up couping the whole place. Tearing it down in troves and claiming it as their own little Kingdom, it is now shrouded from the Capitol in fear of who still roams there. It is without a doubt the most dangerous part of Penumbra.” 

“So what happened to Di Jin when they all took hold of the district?” You asked, almost eager as you sat upright from your previously slumped position. 

“Well he got decommissioned,” Yoongi grinned, as if it amused him, “Conducting something on that scale without the King’s permission was a one way ticket to it, not only that but thoroughly botching it too? Because Di Jin served in the war alongside the King, he allowed him to walk free. Otherwise he’d surely be rotting in the dungeon right now.” 

You grabbed your chin in thought, “There must be a reason Di Jin is trying to say Wheein is the assassin, I just can’t make sense of it…” 

“I wouldn’t think much of it truthfully Princess,” Yoongi said with a soft lament, “I feel as though, in some cases, it purely has to do with being at the wrong place, in the wrong time.”

Somehow this horrified you even more than if it was some clever plot, “Wheein does not deserve to die- let alone at the fate of being at the wrong place and the wrong time!” 

“But think Princess,” Yoongi urged you, “If Di Jin caught the ‘assassin’ he would be back in favor with the court and more importantly, the King.”

“Why would he want the King’s favor now though?” You wondered aloud, frowning at the idea, surely Dae Seong wasn’t blind to the idea that letting Di Jin into his court was a poor idea, let alone letting the man be an advisor to him.

‘Well…You said Di Jin was the one who announced you went to the Underside, did he say anything else…?” 

You thought on it for a long moment, “No he didn’t but…” you trailed off at remembering what Yoongi previously said, how he had more than his own eyes at night, “It’s more, what he didn’t say.” 

You felt a sense of dread fill in your stomach as Yoongi urged you on, “And what would that be?” 

“You said you knew I went with Claudin,” You replied, “But Di Jin…He didn’t mention Claudin at all, just that I had been seen there…Yoongi.” 

You turned to him, something akin to the realization in your face, “After Di Jin was decommissioned from the Captain of the Guard…he became a bounty hunter. The Wolf of the West.” Yoongi's expression twisted from confusion to shock and then to pure anger as he crossed his arms, “Perfect, now we have two rats to deal with. Best we set one trap for both Princess…” 

You nodded, “Yes...you are certainly right about that.” 

The idea of facing your husband once again at the table of Namjoon’s study was less than desired, but if your judgment was right, then you would simply have to put your hurt aside, for the safety of not only Wheein but for yourself and potentially the whole of the kingdom. 

“Are you ready Princess?” Yoongi asked, grabbing the handle of the door. Taking one deep breath to calm yourself you nodded before he opened the door for you stepped inside. 

The others were in hushed voices before pausing at the sight of you, all giving you a bow except for you at the end of the table. 

Jungkook. 

His eyes were unreadable as yours at the moment, but the coldness between you both was difficult to not notice. It was hard to imagine once upon a time, this was a normal interaction to you both, now you felt oceans apart. 

“Princess,” Namjoon spoke first, his eyes filled with both concern and curiosity, “We all received word about you urgently needing to speak with us, has something new developed.”

“It has not completely revealed itself but Yoongi and I were speaking this morning and happened upon an odd but…damning clue that’s been staring us in the face this whole time…” You frowned as you walked to the table, “Please sit.” 

Everyone did so as Yoongi pushed your chair, sitting at the opposite end of the table you chose to ignore his intense stare as you began to recall the events of the evening, leaving out most details of the Underside as you were simply too embarrassed to actually speak of what you had discovered. 

After explaining your thoughts and concerns to them Jungkook was immediately the first to speak, “I’m going to slaughter that man,” There was a deep rage in his eyes, “To have the audacity to parade around in my castle, pretend to be someone he isn’t at my court. Try to murder my wife.” It was hissed out, his fingers twitching as if wanting to pick up a blade and slit the man's throat this very moment. 

“Jungkook,” Namjoon ushered in a soft chastising voice, as if scolding a younger brother that was being too hasty with his decisions, “As the Princess said, we don’t know if this is the full truth. However it is the best lead we have and most likely right. But we need to play our cards right, Dae Seong favors him, it would be best to not go in accusing him of anything without any evidence.”

“So where does that leave us then?” Hoseok frowned looking in thought, “We’ve double downed on our efforts but whatever Di Jin is hiding, it’s locked tight.” 

“It would make sense though,” Jimin frowned, leaning back in his seat, his cheek resting on his palm, “Whenever I’ve spoken to him all he’s said is cryptic things like, ‘if you side with me you’re boon will be great’ or ‘just wait watch as the chaos unfolds’.”

“Chaos unfold?” Namjoon asked with piqued curiosity. 

Jimin lifted his hands in exasperation, “Don’t ask me, I never knew what the hell my old man was on about. What I do know is that he has always put himself first. So even if he is aligned with the Rosewoods, it’s only temporary.” 

“So what?” Yoongi asked, “You think if the Rosewood’s take the crown Di Jin would simply murder them and take it for himself.” 

“That's what I would do,” Jimin shrugged, “Take’s a bastard to know a bastard.” 

“If his information is locked tight then we need to dig harder.” Jungkook replied, he looked brooding and still very much angry, “I want eyes on him at all time.” He looked to Yoongi who nodded, “And Claudin as well, as much as they can without compromising their position.” 

Everyone nodded at this before the meeting was dismissed, everyone departing until it was three who remained. 

“Yoongi, leave us.” Jungkook still sat at the opposite end of you, not even sparing the assassin a glance. 

Yoongi however did not leave as he glanced at you, as if asking for your permission if you were okay with this. 

Did you want to talk to him? Not particularly, but he was your husband and this court was only so big, you would eventually have to talk to him about it, the idea of forgiving him made you seethe in rage though. 

You were tired of compromising, tired of learning, tired of having to be understanding. 

“You may wait outside.” You finally glanced at Yoongi with a nod, he then bowed before he exited, closing the door behind him. It was silent for a long minute as you glanced around the study, it was well decorated, maps lining the walls and bookshelves filled to the brim.

It was a quaint thing, not at all organized like the great library, but absolutely Namjoon, books of all shapes and sizes crammed together, some standing up right, others laid on their side to fit inside. 

You stood up to wander around a little in curiosity, ignoring the blatant stares of your husband before you finally settled at the window out looking over the woodland of the meadow. 

“It doesn’t have to be like Y/n…” Jungkook sighed, staring at your back, a sense of yearning in his chest, as if you were so close and yet so far from his reach once again. 

“No it didn’t.” You agreed coldly, folding your arms. He acted as if you’re the one being unreasonable here when he was the one who betrayed you. 

“All you have to do-”

“Yes I know!” You snarled, turning around as fury whiplashed into your veins once more, “All I have to do! Tell me Jungkook had I not been the one to apologize first to you, would you have ever given me a chance? Had I not been the one to swallow my pride, take the lashings from you even so. All I have ever done is give. I am done giving.” Your lips trembled despite the glares you both mirrored, “I have nothing left to give. I meant every word I said to you last night. I may be many things but I am not a fool.” 

“What I did was necessary to secure the crown,” Jungkook hissed back, angry and upset with your words, as if flat out refusing to believe they were nothing but the truth you spoke, “The world is engulfed in politics, all of that of Eunoia is only rumors, rumors you were better off not festering among the thousand other things we’re dealing with. But most of all, I am not your enemy Y/n.” 

You shook your head angrily, “That may be how you feel but that isn’t how I see it Jungkook, I had every right to know about Eunoia, even if nothing more then rumors. You may not be my enemy but you are certainly not my lover.” 

Jungkook’s lip visibly twitched, as if what you had said struck a nerve before he leaned in, eyes cold as before his lips curled in an icy smile, “That’s not what you said when you were moaning like a bitch in heat stuffed full with my fingers.” 

You ignored how hot the tips of your ears burned as your hands curled into fists, you had thought Claudin would be the only person who ever provoked you enough to consider violence and yet here you stand, silenting seething in rage as you glared up at your haughty so-called husband. 

You were above slapping him, but it certainly seemed tempting. So instead you say the next best thing. 

A cruel smile on your own dancing on your lips, “Perhaps because I was imagining it being my actual lover instead of you.” 

You were suddenly jostled around, pressing against the window with his chest against your back, a hand slithering possessively around your throat, “Funny because you were moaning my name the whole time.”

It would be a lie to say you weren’t shamelessly turned on right now, the sexual tension in the room was bursting from the seams, especially so with the visitation of your last intimacy together. 

But unfortunately for Jungkook, your pride would always outwin your sex drive. “You’re doing no favors for yourself right now.” You glared over your shoulder at him. 

You were unable to, however, as his mouth was already pressing a sloppy open mouthed kiss against your skin, his voice deep and breathy against the shell of your ear, “Then let me do a favor for you.” 

When you don’t reply he turned you back to face him, his lips pressing from your neck down your chest as his hands dragged from your waist to your hips, kneeling down in front of him. 

In the moment you couldn’t help but scoff a little, suddenly grabbing a fist full of his hair, yanking hard on it to make his eyes meet yours, what surprised you however was the moan that escaped his lips.

His expression may have remained neutral but you had gotten to know him too well, the slight part of his lips, his pupils blown out from lust. 

The gesture only made you more angry, “The fact that you think head is going to fix this is a joke better left unsaid. You had your chance and now it is gone. I have things to do, do not bother me again.” 

You shoved his head away from you before you stepped away from him, walking out the door without looking back. 

‘Are you ready to go Princess?” 

“More than ready.” 

“Would you like to visit Wheein meanwhile?” 

Your gaze shot up, “I can do that?” It felt like a stupid question, you were the Crowned Princess, it felt as if you shouldn’t even need to ask but given this was Penumbra, you didn’t know how things work. 

Of course you had heard of dungeons before but you had never been in one, nor did one even exist in Eunoia, the closest equivalent were called Repentance Rooms, and they were nothing like a dungeon, they were clean and well lit with barred windows captives could look out of. 

Comfortable even, they were for the liminal time between a captive being captured and trialed and if their punishment was severe they would be sent to the housing district next. 

You wouldn’t even know where to begin looking for a dungeon. 

Yoongi frowned at your words, “Well, you certainly can but last thing you want is for Di Jin to catch you snooping about.” 

“Can you make sure I’m not seen?” You stood up, folding your hands together as you stared at Yoongi pensively. 

His lips curled into a small smile as he kneeled down in front of you, grabbing your hand, “Of course, my lady. But just know there will be guards that are siding with Di Jin, if they see you they’ll alert him immediately.” 

Your face was covered with a hood and Yoongi had skillfully guided you along the narrow halls as you entered the lower levels of the castle where everything was dark and dimly lit, the smell of must becoming overpowering as guards patrolled each hall. 

Just the dim lights and dank smell made you increasingly worried, you had heard about dungeons before what it meant for captives in other kingdoms, but never thought you’d live to see one yourself. 

A naive thought once upon a time. But here you were, visiting your dearest maid who was being wrongfully accused of something you knew in your heart she’d never do. 

Yoongi had you hide in one last nook before he guided you to the very last dungeon, “Okay,” He spoke softly, “You’ll have only a few minutes with her, be brief.” 

You nodded as you crouched down, making your way to the gate, the sight broke your heart, you could hear a soft sob but Wheein was laid down on the ground, nothing but a pile of straw hay serving as a bed in a windowless cell. 

“Oh Wheein,” Your eyes immediately welled with tears, “I’m so sorry.” 

She jolted, scrambling to get up before she gapped at the sight of you, tearings streaming down her face before she crawled to the bars, “Princess.” She wept softly, before reaching throught the bars to you. 

Your arms curled around her as best as possible as she whimpered quietly, “I don’t want to die! Please! They’ll burn me! That’s what Di Jin will do, please!” 

“Princess,” Yoongi ushered out, “One more minute.”

“Shh!” You ushered, trying to keep your voice down as you pulled away from her, grabbing her soft cheeks in your hands, “We aren’t going to let that happen! Okay?” You nodded, “We’ll find a way to prove your innocence I swear by it Wheein.” 

Wheein only continued to cry, shaking her head, “He’s going to kill me Princess, I’ve dreamt of it for so long, I just know it.” 

You grabbed her hands into yours squeezing them tight as your heart ached seeing her in so many tears, “Not as long as I’m alive he won’t,” New determination rushed into your body, anger that hell had not rage against burning in your veins, “I swear on Galadria that I will serve justice where it is due.” 

“Princess! We need to go.” Yoongi whispered out, ushering you quickly. 

Wheein closed her eyes as tears trickled down her face but said no more, quickly you ushered her into one last hug before you whispered, “I’ll return soon! We better news than I have now.” 

“Please Princess, be safe.”

Those were her last whispered words before Yoongi quickly guided you back to a crook to hide as the guards made their rotation. Unfortunately for Wheein, you had no intentions of being safe, you were going to prove her innocence at whatever cost was needed. 

When you had first been told by the King, Dae Seong that you would be expected to dine with the family once a week, it had filled you with nothing but dread. Being among three men at the time was daunting.

Two which didn’t take you seriously at all, and of course the third, your husband who would either pretend you didn’t exist, or give you an icy stare and then proceed to pretend you didn’t exist.

But after the incident in the market place, Jungkook and you had somehow grown closer, fonder of one another, came to an understanding of one another and where you both had come from. 

Two weeks ago…

Your heart squeezed as you stared in the mirror, several maids floated in and out of your room and while you always tried to be kind, today you felt exhausted, only giving simple answers to whatever they asked.

What did you do two weeks ago that finally made him decide to have you spied on? You had gotten into an argument that week- at the time you thought it stupid but only now did you reflect back and realize Jungkook was venomously jealous of any inkling of an idea of Seokjin ever being your lover. 

Not only this but an odd inferiority complex he has that he would rather die than ever admit too. But…why? It made your eyes sting with tears that you refused to shed. You had said hurtful things during that argument but surely it wasn’t enough to make him do that? You’ve had worse arguments with him before that moment.

You just didn’t understand. 

“Finished Your Highness.”

The maid placed the crown on your head as you stared at yourself in the mirror, taking it in, it was heavier then it looked, but then again it was made of Noxtria metal, elaborately weaving with sharp, angles stones of onyx and metal winging out of it's sides and one large center piece in the middle.

The maids all courtesy to you, you offered a weak smile and thanks before they were dismissed. 

You took a deep shaky breath, wiping your eyes before any real tears had fallen. You just had to get through tonight, somehow, despite all of the time that had passed, it felt as if you were in some liminal space between how you first felt going to a family dinner and what it had slowly turned in too. 

Family dinner was expected tonight, however an additional note had been added on, Di Jin and close friends of the family would be attending tonight. Knowing your friends, and though you were upset with Jungkook- that they would be there brought you comfort. 

But having to deal with Di Jin all evening was not something you wanted to deal with. 

However, you were not about to cower away from him, your eyes had gone from mournful to near vengeful as you glared in the mirror, your hair elaborately done for the night by your request and a specific dress for the occasion. 

It had been hanging for a long while and you had truthfully shied away from it, feeling it was a bit too Penumbrian even for you. 

But not tonight.

It was a raven black gown, cold metal weaved into leaves intricately, an armored sweetheart neckline that wrapped all the way up to your throat, your upperarm dawned with cufflets that flowed with even more black fabric and a solid band of metal cinching your waist. 

Black had become a color of mourning in Eunoia, it was something you wore daily during the Five Year war while working in the tents as a healer. But something dawned on you as you looked through your gowns earlier in the evening. 

Before that, during the Age of Celestia, it was said that black was the color of power. Queen Celestia wore it for her ascension after devouring her husband, becoming the sole ruler of Eunoia. 

You didn’t like to think you took after the gruesome woman. But something that wasn’t often talked about was Celestia and Galadria were sisters. You shared just as much blood from one as the other. 

And right now, you wanted to wield power, not grief. 

Standing upright you were escorted down the hall, heads turned in your direction from various aristocrats to maids and servants alike as you kept your head held high and an unwelcoming expression on your face. 

The double doors were shut as per usual and though you had walked through them many times, tonight you felt just as anxious as you had the very first time as they opened. Every set of eyes at the table had turned to you, seeing as you had clearly interrupted the conversation that went on. 

Many at the table had quickly stood up, bowing to you, some more begrudging than others as your eyes locked onto Di Jin’s, his lip twitching a little as he bowed, your expression stayed as unwelcoming as before. 

You may not have been a Jeon by blood but you would certainly pretend you had their trademark cold glare tonight.

Taehyun who had been standing behind Jungkook’s chair had stepped back to pulled the empty chair out beside his, your cold look softened only a little for him, offering a brief tiny smile of thanks as he pushed you in. 

Jungkook had previously looked bored, crown of his own on his head, though from how he slumped in his chair it was just a hair crooked, dark hair dusting in front of his eyes as they met yours. 

And for the briefest moment you felt just a bit stronger having him by your side before anger quelled in you once more at the memory, two weeks, for some reason two weeks ago he chose to no longer trust you. 

Your expression remained as you looked away from him as the voice of Di Jin spoke, “It’s good to see the Princess can finally grace us with her presence.” 

“Yes, just in time for the meal, seeing as the conversation wasn’t much to look forward to.” A mocking smile curled on your lips, never before did you usually take pleasure in having power over someone, but you were experiencing many firsts in Penumbra. 

No matter how much Di Jin disliked you, he knew better than to openly disrespect you, no matter how hard he tried to undermine you in his discreet way. 

“What matters is the Princess is here now,” Jeong Dae’s gaze narrowed on Di Jin before nodding, “let us all dine now. Tell me, the progress on the market is coming along, yes?” 

You stared into your glass of wine as you swirled in, “Yes, they’re starting to lay the foundation down. Though I must confess, my servant being thrown in the dungeon has caused quite a bit of a mess in my schedule.” 

An uncomfortable energy had taken over the table as you shrugged, taking a long drink from your cup, you were not going to sit here and pretend along with everyone else that Di Jin had not done what he had.

“It’s a necessary precaution, once this assassin business has been taken care of you’ll have your servant back,” Dae Seong answered gruffly, not appreciating your lack of tack, “But should more incriminating evidence come out, a servant is expandable and just as easily replaceable.”

Your gaze slowly pulled to his as the silence at the table ensued once more, when had human life become so expandable as he said? 

You understood less and less as to why they felt this way, why they chose to believe this.

After a long moment your lips twisted into a grin that looked more like a grimace, “I thought you might say that your Majesty.” You however said nothing else as you took another drink from your cup.

The table was quiet for a long moment and nobody spoke, despite the silence it was almost comforting to you, to know that your words held some sort of weight to them even if it felt in the moment they were nothing more than an illusion to how you truly felt. 

“Not to interrupt this moment, but perhaps we should discuss the east, it's come to our attention that Kyoto has movement in the east, if they continue our progress will be delayed“ Jimin spoke up, a frown on his face with evident worry, “We've been tracking them down, and it seems they're making a sort of pattern, if I didn't know any better I'd say they were mapping out the best way to invade us.”

“That would be hasty on their part,” Jeong Dae spoke up, “We just passed The Rite of Peace this year, they wouldn’t be foolish to invade us just after the prince and princess wed.”

“Fools aren't so different from the brave,” Jungkook spoke up, swirling his goblet of wine in his hand looking rather bored, though his gaze occasionally went to you, as if hoping you would be looking at him, “ Would it be that outlandish to assume, that they do not care about the Rite of Peace?” 

“This is true,” Di Jin, surprisingly spoke up with agreement, “After all, why would the world let a nation as glorious as us live for one simple girl.”

There was a certain amount of venom in his tone that did not surpass you, though you didn't let it disturb you as it once may have. you suppose somewhere along the line, that you had gotten used to an unsurpassable amount of hatred that for some reason people in Penumbra felt entitled to take out on you.

it was a ugly truth, but it was the truth nonetheless, and Di Jin had a point, no matter how unpleasant it was, why would the world let a nation that had killed countless people, destroyed homes, decimated nations live on, if there is one thing you had learned in Eunoia, it was that you were indeed replaceable.

Dare you say you felt almost as if you were a sacrificial lamb, sent to slaughter, and whether you died by an assassin or by an invasion, did it ever truly matter in the end? You weren't sure. 

Jungkook did not speak, but he didn't need words to convey his feelings, his glare was enough to display his displeasure in Di Jin’s words.

Hoseok cut in, “Perhaps, but if they were to invade, there's no telling what kind of uproar it would cause with other nations. Especially if they kill the princess in the process, even if it is only one person, nobody can deny the influence Eunoian Princess has.” 

“Regardless, it would be wise to have a plan.”  Namjoon said diplomacy and his voice as he attempted to steer the conversation into a less hostile direction, “The people are restless, and with word having gotten out about Eunoia training soldiers along with Kimhae, and now Kyoto, they'll need guidance especially as winter approaches.” 

You sharply inhaled, trying to not let anger seep through your veins again, though tempting, just the idea of Eunoia training soldiers was outlandish, ever since the Age of Celestia soldiers have been out of the question, if the rumors were true why would they start now?

Nothing made sense, you tried to ignore the stares, but it was evident that people in the room did not trust you, after all even your own husband felt he could not trust you at one time. 

Two weeks ago, no matter how hard you tried your mind kept going back to two weeks ago, what had you done two weeks ago to warrant his distrust, what could you have changed to have changed his mind.

Just the thought made your heart ache and for a brief moment your anger had subsided.

“It would only be right to assume that Eunoia and Kimhae have their own plans to invade us. it would be within our best interest to strike first if that is the case.” Di Jin lifted his goblet before taking a long drink.

I'm just like that your anger had returned.

But before you could speak, your husband had beat you to it, anger evident in his voice as he spoke, “When we wrote the Rite of Peace, we promised Eunoia protection should someone ever threaten Invasion on them, they are honorable, if they desire to have their own protection let them have it, but do not sit at my table and claim loyalty to my family, and then proceed to disrespect my wife and her country in front of me.” 

Di Jin laughed, “You've got a lot to learn boy, love rarely saves anyone and the few bastards it does, life has a certain way of shortening their lives.”

“And men who disrespect women, tend to live even shorter lives.” Jungkook said, his voice having grown a little darker and expressionless, his fingers now drumming against the table as if aching to reach across it and wrap his knuckles around Di Jin’s neck.

“Regardless of Kimhae and Kyoto, I can only speak for my own nation, and I can swear this we are pacifists by nature, we do not desire for nor want bloodshed, but do not mistake our heritage, we do bite back should we be provoked, after all, history proves that.” You spoke, your voice calm, “Should we be treated fairly, you will only expect kindness in return, for that is who my people are, while I understand your caution, we created the Rite of Peace for its very name, to bring peace to the world and put these past grudges to rest. And I intend to keep it that way to the best of my ability.” 

“It seems you've all mistaken this dinner, we are here to gather and make merry not discuss politics,” Dae Seong looked much like his son, bored by the conversation, “We will not strike first, nor will we feed into their antics, after all this was the very reason I recalled the march to the East, there is no reason to wage war when our enemies have been defeated.”

You glanced around, noting the expressions on some of your friends' faces, it was evident just about nobody agreed with Dae Seong in one way or another, But nobody dared express how they felt, after all he was the king. 

The dinner had went on for the rest of the evening without much of a hiccup, granted it gave you a headache and you had found yourself sunk back into your chair the whole time, more than anything you wanted to get out of your seat and away from your husband, who had been staring at you with puppy eyes most of the evening.

Occasionally you'd watch his fingers twitch as if aching to reach out to you, to pull your chair closer, to brush your hair from your face, or to fix a piece of your dress that I've been wrinkled, but he knew better rather he kept his hand in his lap or against his cup, his sixth glass might you add.

In some ways you understood that this was perhaps unfair on your part, the more you thought about it the more you realized that you could have confided him and you had chosen not to, this was in some ways your fault as well but it did not take away the hurt you felt, that you felt you were closer than this.

But it seemed you both were wrong in many ways and you weren't certain of how to fix this, if you even wanted to fix this anymore, what you did know was that you were at a breaking point, you were uncertain of how much more you could take before you would break.

And every time you thought it couldn't get worse it without a doubt somehow got worse, but surely you would hit a plateau, your husband had lied to you, your servant was on trial for your attempted assassination, and you found out your home country was enlisting soldiers into a military, to say your life had fallen apart was an understatement.

Or at least that was how you felt.

You had been sat in bed, a book in hand though you hadn't read it all evening, and once again no matter how hard you tried to focus a book was just a book, and words were just words, you could read but the sentence just kept going over your head each time you read it, no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't focus.

A knock at your door however had drew you from your thoughts causing you to stand up reluctantly before trudging over and opening the door

The person who stood before you was unshocking to you, after all it seemed since the unsavory reveal of his deeds your husband could hardly stay away from you, no matter how many times you would ask him to give you space, in fact he seem to be doing the opposite these days.

“I know you don’t wish to see me-”

You abruptly tried to shut the door but his arm caught against the door. 

“Y/n just listen to me,” Jungkook’s voice was weak, hair brushing over his eyes but the desperation in them was pathetic, “Let me talk, please.” 

“You’re drunk Jungkook,” Your teeth gritted but you didn’t try to force the door anymore, your hand still curled tight against the knob as you glared at him. He reeked of liquor and it was evident as his white shirt had a large inky red spill down the front that had been dried out, this was his sleep shirt which meant he hadn’t stopped drinking even after everyone had retired. 

Jungkook had one hand still flat against the door keeping it ajar and the other on the frame as he peered down at you, “I just wanted to see you, to tell you in my own words, I was complacent about your feelings, about my own. I have no excuses left, I have no words to defend myself, only my desire to be with you.”

You shook your head, trying to not let your heart twist further in pain, you wanted to look past this, to let it go, but how could you? Spying through letters was the first step, how could you know this wasn’t some elaborate plan all along to use you?

“It’s not that easy Jungkook,” You tried to contain the grief in your voice, guilt eating you up the more you thought of your own actions, “I should’ve trusted you more, confided in you about what I heard from Claudin, but I didn’t. I think it’s best if whatever this, does not continue.”

It was Jungkook’s turn to shake his head, his knuckles curling against the door, “We’ve both made mistakes. Forgive yourself Y/n and forgive me. Let me prove myself to you, let me earn your love.���

You roughly brushed the tears from your cheeks, “We were never meant to be together Jungkook, you know that just as well a I do-” 

You were cut off abruptly by his hand suddenly snaking through the small gap of the door,  wrapping around your waist and his lips immediately pressing into yours in a devouring hold, a surprised whimper escaped you at his iron hold increasingly becoming tighter on your waist. 

Your head was telling you one thing, but your heart was so desperately wanting another.

His other hand immediately snaked around your throat in a firm grip, not tight but not loose as you tried your best to not give into the temptation to melt into his hold but it was becoming more difficult when his tongue had pushed between your lips in determination. 

You broke, unable to resist the soft moan that escaped you as you felt your back push against the wall, arms wrapping around his neck before curling into his soft locks, giving them a soft yank as he moaned into your mouth,

You could taste the sweet wine still lingering on his lips, the unmistakable feeling curling into your stomach as you let yourself surrender to him for the briefest moment, and for the brief moment, everything felt better.

Two weeks ago…

The realization quickly followed after you and anger kindled in your veins once more, your hands had quickly slid to his shoulders to push back against him, “Jeon Jungkook!” You broke the kiss by turning your head with a hiss. 

Jungkook didn’t relent though his forehead pressing against yours as he heaved a breath, “What have you done to me? Some ancient dryad magick?” He gave a mirthless smile, “You are all I can ever think about from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed, seeing you cry makes me want to kill whatever is causing them, I’m drowning in you my sweet doe. I’m intoxicated and desperate so indulge me,”

“Tell me what I need to do to earn your forgiveness.” Jungkook ushered out, wet kissing being placed on your neck as the internal battle waged war in your head, one part of you wanting to immediately crumble but the other was indignant, this relationship surely would not end well.

At one time when you were younger, you would have laughed, after all you were married. But your eyes had been opened, things were never that simple, not when one was a Princess, marriage was contract, love was a luxury.

He broke away from you only a little, almost nose to nose with you and hair hanging over his eyes like a cloud, “I thought I knew love, I thought I knew many things before I met you,” His hands trembled as if the emotions were too powerful, “But it turns out I know nothing. Without you, I know nothing.”

“Jungkook…” You ushered out quietly, shaking your head as you tried to swallow down the hurt that began to bubble once more. 

“I feel like I’m being consumed by you,” Jungkook confessed, his hand squeezing your neck ever so slightly, his thumb rubbing softly along your windpipe, “It feels like you’re very being is sucking the soul from my body. And now that I’ve had you,” His voice broke only a little, his eyes like steel as he whispered a growl, “I would die without you.” 

“Jungkook!” You whispered out frantically at the sight of him letting you go only to kneel down on both knees. 

“Let me repeat my question; what do I have to do to earn your forgiveness?” Jungkook’s eyes burned with a bright intensity that nearly frightened you, his hand stroking up your thigh, “Is it Wheein? I’ll get her back for you. I’ll burn this entire fucking kingdom and rebuild it if I have too.” 

Was he hearing himself right now!?

You were panicked at his words and his actions, he had pushed his way into your room but the door was wide open, anybody could walk down this corridor and overhear him! “You can start by getting off the ground and going to bed!” You hissed out panickedly, flailing your hands to gesture him to stand, “And give me some time to think about it! Jungkook I…so much has happened I just need time! There’s no reason for you to say something so damning!” 

“I mean every word I’m saying.” Jungkook’s voice was serious, his eyes burning into you as he gazed up at you. 

It was silent for a long moment and Jungkook’s gaze did not lighten, hesitantly you lowered a hand down to his head, running your nails through his hair, it caused his lids to lower until they closed, his forehead resting against your thigh, hands still delicately trembling against your thighs.

“If you want my love so desperately, then give me time and space,” You whispered out, “You’re right, we’ve both made mistakes, and they can be forgiven, but forgiveness takes time that cannot be rushed.” 

“I can’t lose you.” Jungkook mumbled out, his weight slowly sinking into you. 

“You won’t.” Your words however went unheard as he slumped down, before collapsing to the ground, passed out. 

You stared down at him for a long moment before you sighed, “I’m sorry but you’re not spending the night here.” You stepped over him as you walked to the door, glancing around, the guard at your door must have been dismissed by him. 

You were in luck however as a pair of guards were at the end of the hall, walking quietly as they spoke, you flagged them down, requesting they find Taehyun and then have your guard returned to your door. 

Shortly Taehyun had arrived, the poor boy looking half asleep himself as he took in his Prince’s slumped figure on the ground, “He didn’t cause too many problems did he, Princess?” 

You shook your head, “No more than he usually does, I apologize for interrupting your night Taehyun, thank you for taking him back to his room.”

Taehyun offered a tired smile, “Of course your Highness, have a restful night.” He hauled Jungkook up with a groan, and briefly you wondered if Taehyun could even carry him, but he did manage to get him out the door and you supposed that was good enough.

Taking a shaky breath you sat back down in your bed, deciding you would be reading deep into the night, as you surely wouldn't be getting any rest regardless.

It was late morning and you had been eating out on the second floor terrace, the day was slightly warmer but still gray and cloudy, it made you depressed and you briefly wondered just how Penumbrian’s coped with it. 

But then again, they knew no different, for them, this was normal. 

You envied that.

“You mind if I join, Princess?” 

You twisted in your seat at the sight behind you, “Areum, of course, please have a seat.” You gestured to the empty table. 

You had been sitting out here alone, Yoongi on the inside as you wanted a moment to yourself but deep down you felt alone and you deeply missed Wheein’s company, each passing day made you more anxious, and the gap in your heart widen even more. 

Many questions filled your head, how would you set one trap to catch both Di Jin and Claudin in? You were not in a favorable position either way, Di Jin had a personal connection to the king and Dae Seong would need a damn good reason to believe you.

And you would have to be extra careful navigating Claudin as the Rosewood ties with the Jeon’s was already strained, one weak accusation and it could cause a civil war. 

“You seem so sullied these days Princess,” Areum commented as she sat next to you, promptly grabbing a plate and stacking it with rice cakes.

“I miss when I first arrived here,” You admitted, “Things weren’t complicated the way they are now.” 

“Perhaps,” Areum agreed, “But my, my, look how far you’ve come. I heard from your husband this morning. He looked dreadful.”

Your lips curled into a brief grimace at the memory, he looked rough last night, you couldn’t possibly imagine what he looked like when he woke up, no doubt hungover and upset. 

“What of it?” You felt slightly nervous, had someone overheard Jungkook’s over dramatic declaration last night?

“He asked me to take you to the Jeon Estate,” Areum smiled at your surprised and confused expression, “The estate was created for the royal family during the early days of Penumbra when the castle had yet to be built. It’s no longer used regularly, but occasionally we still hold family celebrations there for privacy. It’s deep in the woodland forest, past the Seer’s refuge.” 

“...May I ask why?” You frowned, uncertain of how to feel about this, there was so much at stake, how could Jungkook just expect you to leave…?

Areum smiled, “Something about wanting to allow you to have space and piece of mind. I understand your feelings Princess, I can’t imagine the weight you must be feeling right now, and I certainly wouldn’t blame you if you want to stay here at the castle.” 

Areum tapped her chin, “However I will say this much, the Estate has something primal to it, some may even call it magick. If you are seeking answers, there is no better place to meditate than there.” 

“I’ll think about it.” You nodded as you gazed out over the meadow in thought. 

Perhaps time away from the castle and Jungkook would serve you well.

[northlt]

Too Sweet

Regulus Black is not an early bird.

That much is evident from the dark eyebags, the exhaustion that slumps his frame and the cup of coffee always glued to his hand.

He remembers being a child, developing the habit of staying up late. The hours of the night, when everyone else was asleep, their soft snores the only noise in the house was the the only time he truly felt alive. Something more than a moving corpse.

There was no one to nag at him after midnight, no one tiring him with small talk, no one he had to put up a facade for. It was just him. No Sirius, no mother, no father.

He used the time to breathe, as idiotic as it sounds. He just breathed and breathed and tried not to think about everything happening in his life. He wrote in his journal as well, stupid poems he swore would never be seen by anyone but him. He did everything he wished he could do that day but didn't because he had too many eyes on him.

Those days are well behind him now, he doesn't live in constant fear of his parents, no longer in the grips of that awful house. And still, some habits stay with him.

It's later than 10 in the morning when he says a word. James doesn't mind. Sometimes Regulus doesn't say anything the whole day, but James is happy enough to carry the weight of socializing for both of them.

He is blissfully free of the hold of trauma unlike Regulus and his brother. Regulus hopes he always stays that way, far from anything that could ever change him or cause him harm.

Because god forbid something something or someone so much as touched James Potter. Regulus would have to go to war.

In any case, James doesn't mind Regulus sleeping late. He's more of an early bird. A quidditch habit he never quite let go of. In the mornings they often wave silently to each other, James having just woken up and Regulus heading to bed.

"Baby" Regulus muses to himself as he plays with James' hair. He could never fathom how James slept so well. Honestly, an earthquake wouldn't be able to wake the man up.

"Try to sleep early, darling" James always says. "Go to bed before the sun's already rising"

But the sunrise is Regulus' favorite part of the night. He wants to show James the peacefulness of the night once. He wants to give James the experience, lost in a haze, smelling like a bonfire when he wakes up.

But until then, he just kisses James' hair, "You're too sweet for me"

They're different. Very different. Regulus knows. He has known since Hogwarts.

Regulus takes his whiskey neat, enjoying the way it burns. James usually orders a fruity drink with half the alcohol amount and teases Regulus for being a lightweight when they've had the same number of drinks.

Regulus takes his coffee black, no sugar, no milk. It helps him, even if it makes the beating of his heart a little too fast and loud, and makes his fingers shake because of overconsumption.

James takes his coffee with an ungodly amount of sweetener that makes Regulus gag everytime he sees his boyfriend preparing the drink. James always complains more coffee makes him sleepy, which never made much sense to Regulus. Neither did the fact that more sugar usually helped James balance out his frantic energy.

Regulus goes to bed well after three, mostly when the sun is already painting the sky lighter. He enjoys the burn of his eyes, the hurt in his temples from reading too much, he enjoys the hurt, something to remind him of home.

James goes to bed earlier than a child with a strict mother and a bed time. He wakes just as early, before the sky lightens up. He likes the cool wind on his cheeks as he goes for a run, always trying to convince Regulus to join him. He's convinced Regulus will give in one day. (He won't)

James is too sweet for Regulus, too sweet for him to believe he deserves it.

James is as bright as the morning. He burns so bright he consumes every part of Regulus' mind. There's no hope trying to outrun his magnetic field. Regulus would know, he's tried it.

Even on his bad days, he could outshine Apollo.

He's soft as the rain, soothing after a hot day, a constant weather in their country.

And he's pretty. Regulus would be a fool to forget that.

It all makes Regulus feel inferior sometimes. He just wishes he could wait until the day he no longer felt that way. Like James deserves better than him. Like one day James will get up and decide he doesn't love Regulus any more.

They're all ugly thoughts, Regulus knows that. And James has his fair share of ugly habit and thoughts. He's not perfect by any means.

Still, sometimes Regulus thinks James is too sweet for him.

"You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate" Regulus scrawls in his journal one night, watching the steady rise and fall of James' chest.

[codfanficedits]

One more mission.

CW: ANGST. A lot of angst </3 no proofreading because i cried while reading it

Fem!reader x Simon 'Ghost' Riley.

One more mission.

That is what Ghost and you had agreed on. Just one more mission until the two of you would go on a little getaway. A nice, well deserved vacation. Something to relax at after countless missions, countless late nights, countless piles of paperwork. To celebrate your relationship, the five beautiful years that had flown by, to celebrate his stubbornness, to celebrate your kind nature. The best place to celebrate how you had gotten to be his sunshine.

The memories of planning the trip are as warm as the blood that drips through your fingers as you hold your chest. A guttural scream from Ghost is heard from the battlefield. The man sprinted towards you, the thuds of his boots being deafening. He drags you to safety, hiding behind a slab of concrete. Ghost drops on his knees, his hand over yours, pressing on the wound on your chest.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper.

“Don’t.”

“You are going to make it lovey, don’t worry.” You can tell that he wants to believe his own words, but you both know he’s lying. “I’m sorry.” You whisper once more, as your free hand reaches for your dog tags, taking them off and offering them to Ghost. “So you can keep me close to your heart.”

It was as if his soul came apart as he listened to your words. “No, no, no. Sweetheart. Don’t you say a word. I’m not losing you. You hear me? God damn it, I will tear this world apart for you.” His voice breaks into sobs when he speaks to you.

You had never seen Ghost crying, and all it took was for you to die.

The hand he has on yours tightens its grip on you, if God would’ve asked him what he wanted in exchange of his soul, it would’ve been you. More time with you. More cuddles with you, more kisses from you, more love making. More. More. More. But God had abandoned his best soldier in times of need.

Blood kept seeping through your fingers, it stained your hand, his hand, your uniform and his too. But Ghost didn’t mind, not at all. You had gotten dizzy from the amount of blood you had lost, a wave of nausea came over you. You were running out of time and the both of you knew it. “There is a picture book under my bed.” You say, a faint smile on your lips as you struggle to keep your eyes open. “I’ve captured our moments for the past five years. It was a gift for our vacation. But..” You don’t want to say the last part. If you don’t say it, it doesn’t have to feel real. “Look at it when you miss me.”

“Then it’s all I’ll ever see again.”

You want to tell him to move on after you, to continue with life, but the look in his eyes tells you enough. He always thought soulmates were stupid, after all, he loved you on purpose, but Ghost changed his mind, right there and then.

The skullmask gets lifted, the balaclava too, and his soft, warm lips pressed against your forehead.

“Let me see your face.” You murmur and he obeys.

It’s a sight that breaks your heart. A trembling lip, tear filled eyes and so much guilt on his face. “I can’t do this.” He whispers. “I can’t live when you’re gone.”

“But I won’t be gone.”

“What?”

“Look for me in the beauty of life, look for me in the sunrise, the moon, the stars. I’ll be the beauty of the auburn leaves in autumn, a soft breeze on a hot summer day. I’ll be with you through it all.”

His sobs are no longer silent, they’re raw, painful. His lips press kisses against your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, and finally your lips. As If he is trying to keep you alive through his love. And to be fair, if love would be enough to survive, you would’ve lived forever.

The both of you knew the risks of being in the military, but it never occurred to you that it would be the reason you would die, that it would be the reason you would never marry, grow old, get your own kids, or a few dogs for that matter. It was bittersweet. The army would cost you your life, but you had gained Ghost, you had gained Simon, and your life seemed like a fair price for the love he had given you.

You could feel that it was time, there was barely a pulse left. What you would’ve done for a little more time with him. “Flowers.” You whisper. “I want so much flowers on my funeral.”

“I’ll get you all the flowers I can find.” He answers with a choked voice.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

You can close your eyes after his words, you’re tired, and while your mind isn’t ready to go, your body can’t hold on much longer.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He holds you while your body goes limp. Holding your head against his chest as he cried, wailed and screamed as loud as he could, halfway through, he hoped you could hear him scream on your way to heaven, so you would turn around and come back to him.

One more mission. And the two of you would go on vacation. One more mission and Ghost would have some time off with the love of his life.

One more mission and you came home in a body bag instead of in his arms.

He kept his promise to you. Getting all the flowers the funeral home would allow him to and then a few extra he had snuck in through his suit. The two of you had jokingly discussed him wearing royal blue suit on your wedding day, and now he was wearing it to your funeral.

Ghost tried to speech on your funeral, he really did.

“I wish we had more time.” He started. “I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.”

His voice left him after those words, his eyes filling with hot tears as his vision got blurry. But they all understood. No one needed him to finish speaking to understand the love he had for you.

And so the hours after your passing turn into days, they turn into weeks. Ghost finally had the courage to look for the picture book you had described. The sight of all those pictures made him curl up into a ball and bawl his eyes out. He never knew you had taken so many pictures of him when he wasn’t looking, and he was thanking the Gods that he could see himself through your eyes.

The picture book is located in his bedroom, accompanied by a black, velvet box. An engagement ring that never made it to you.

One more mission, before he would propose to you.

The hours after your passing turn into days, they turn into weeks, into months.

And now Ghost can finally see your beauty in the world. You’re the soft blue sky filled with white clouds. You’re the eclipse he went to see with Soap. You’re all the flowers that bloom around him, the mushrooms he finds in autumn, the soft blanket of snow in winter. You’re it all and he is no longer afraid to open his heart for it.

The hours after your passing turn into days, they turn into weeks, into months, into years and Ghost opens the door to his balcony, watching over the sunrise you promised him you’d be.

“I miss you more than I remember you.”

[reds-skull]

Fic recs - oneshots (part 3)

ALRIGHT I'm hoping this is the last oneshot post, since there are a lot of other fics I wanna recommend that don't fall in this category.

This post is like 5x longer than the other ones just because I wanted to finish all of my current oneshot recs and otherwise it will take like 3 more posts. So beware there are a lot more under the cut.

If you're new here, these are all sfw oneshots:

i've dug two graves for us, my dear. by eddie_dxaz - Johnny gets buried alive.

Scotch-Soaked Lips by FreeToWriteForMe - Ghost watches Soap while the team is in a bar.

I owe the hat man money and I don't want to see him by Louffox - Ghost gets drugged and hallucinates while Soap tries to keep both of them alive.

Painting the snow red by Faolamb - Ghost is a wraith and Soap werewolf. Soap loses control and Ghost calls him back.

Mild as May by lambstew4you - Ghost and Soap are on a mission, and they have a talk by the campfire.

Hell or High Water by lambstew4you - Soap gets kidnapped and put in a sensory deprivation tank. He is rescued, but the damage is already done.

Daylight Through The Fog by WeirdTin - Ghost is afraid of letting people in. Soap just wants to love every scar.

i never said i'd be alright (just thought i could hold myself together) by TheLastTheosaurus - Ghost gets injured on a mission with Soap. Without exfil in sight, he hides it. Despite his efforts Soap finds out.

Breathe in, Hold it by Hedgehog_kun - Simon and Johnny are in a relationship. Life is good, for once. But one night Soap comes home angry and drunk, and Ghost can't help but freeze.

How it started, how it's going by Nuria123 - The fic where Ghost thinks he and Soap are already dating (5+1).

heat death by eggtimelads - Soap and Ghost spend an afternoon fending off this relentless heat [relatable tbh].

note to self: drink in moderation by eggtimelads - Ghost gets drunk, does a little pining out loud, and gets his reputation ruined while also getting a boyfriend.

Absolutely by ElizaStyx - 5 times Soap confesses to Ghost in a language he thought Ghost didn't understand, and one time he knows full well Ghost does.

the shroud is made of linen by stars_boy - In which Ghost is interrupted while watching the sunrise.

Lets Go Stargazing For Real Next Time by Trouble_13 - Ghost thought they were getting somewhere, but it feels like they have to restart all over again.

Lonely Hearts Club by Wheezing_Joe - Soap and Rudy accidentally start fake dating. Ghost and Alejandro aren't too pleased with it [this is ghostsoap and alerudy, so it's twice as good]

Night Has Always Pushed Up Day by Sillililli - Ghost gets injured and is stuck in a hospital, when they bring in a blind Soap. They're forced to share a room.

dying all the way back to the root by Magpie (QuickSilverFox3) - Soap is separated from Ghost, but Ghost can still hear his voice. He just needs to find him before someone else does.

i fear you will know me but most of all i fear i will never know you by rocketnintendo - Soap hides the extent of his injuries. Ghost finds out and is gentle.

My Heart Leapt From Me by Macabre_Flower - A pipe bursts above Soap's bed in the middle of the night. Ghost offers to help.

Palimpsest by Blackbird_flyaway - Ghost loses all memory from the last 3 years, including all memory of Soap.

The way his feet strike the earth by Blackbird_flyaway - Soap puts on a blindfold and gets kissed as part of a drinking game only it becomes a lot more than that.

i need you to hurt me back instead by TheLastTheosaurus - 5 times Ghost needed a hug, and the one time his got one.

Figure Study by 002405 - Ghost asks Soap to draw him like one of his French girls. Things devolve from there.

love me despite by TheLastTheosaurus - Ghost needs rest. Soap helps him get it.

no better version i could pretend to be tonight by TheLastTheosaurus - Soap can't sleep. he goes to Ghost.

Wash your mouth out with soap by Red_Clegane [the one and only] - Soap is reminded how he got his call sign and Ghost helps him put the pieces back together.

sunday morning (rain is falling) by wellyesbutactuallyno - Soap wants to learn more about Ghost. Ghost lets him.

The Haircut by thevalesofanduin - Soap's hair is too long. Ghost helps him cut it.

On the nights you feel outnumbered (I'll be out there, somewhere) by Brigadier - Ghost feels more irritable than usual and gets involved in a bar fight.

I want to crack open your ribs and crawl in the space left behind (Je veux me lover au creux de ton creur et ne jamais repartir) by flaminpumpkin - Simon ends up having to drag his drunk sergeant back to base and finds himself in a sticky situation because he's too smitten with the man.

Bloody Delirium by GnawingAtMyEyes - Soap gets gravely injured and suffers from blood loss delirium.

Tell Me a Secret by resonatingkitty - Ghost asked Soap to tell him a secret one evening at a bar and what Soap tells him is not what he expected to hear.

Never Hide This (From Me Again) by resonatingkitty - during a mission, Soap gets nicked and doesn't report it to Ghost. Ghost doesn't take it well.

Bruised Peach by Phiunzirus - After their latest mission, Soap's right arm looks like a bruised peach. What happens when Ghost accidentally grabs it a bit too hard?

Kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again (it's been a long, long time) by Angelicasdean - Soap's been home for weeks now, but he's still missing the last piece of the puzzle. Thankfully, it's scheduled to return today.

Forbidden by eddie_dxaz - Ghost comes to terms with his feelings for Soap and tries to fight them. Unsuccessfully.

The Maskmaker by ElizaStyx - Soap finds Ghost working on a new mask.

Cat Dad by ElizaStyx - One day a little kitten appears at the 141 HQ and Soap falls in love. Too bad the kitty only likes Ghost.

Blind date with a book by Nuria123 - Ghost is a famous anonymous writer and Soap loves his books. They fall in love.

Recovery by Nuria123 - Soap and Ghost meet after being medically discharged at a rehab facility. Soap volunteers and Ghost is newly admitted. [this is one of the few fics to make me actually sob hard it's so extremely good]

can't keep johnny down by Wheezing_Joe - Soap loses commes on a mission and presumed dead. After finding his way back to base he's surprised by how much he's been missed.

red woven confessions by wayfaredsoldier - Soap got he and Ghost wishing bracelets in an attempt to grow closer to him and got far more than he expected.

made a bed with apathy (years worth of dust and neglect) by aetherealmoss - Soap gets triggered by someone who looks too much like his painful past, and Ghost is there to help him through it [TW SA, rape and child abuse on this one]

Safe With Me by Wixiany - Soap who is in an abusive relationship befriends Ghost when he moved into the neighborhood. His boyfriend accuses them of cheating and Ghost is blocked for several days until Soap shows up in the middle of the night.

snuffed by crown_twist - Johnny really, really doesn't like cigarettes. Ghost didn't know.

Choice by achievement_hunteresss - Shepherd captures the 141. He offers them a deal. He will let the other person go unharmed, if you shoot yourself in front of them.

tags by achievement_hunteresss - Soap asks for help with detangling his dogtags. Ghost accidentally unburies Simon.

Precipice by Islenthatur - Soap dies and has to choose (dw it's surprisingly not mcd)

Coven (Scheherazade) by basgijr - Ghost can't sway an overwhelming feeling that something isn't right. Soap is a werewolf that stinks of wet dog and also love (Ghost is a vampire). [this one I found from a Tumblr post that I lost]

sullen by rottin - Sparring goes a little wrong.

Lessen the Load by Hammy1o1 - Price had to talk Ghost down from suicide a few times. Things change when Soap joins the taskforce. [obviously TW for suicide]

Aaaand that's all of them! And my god there's a lot. Next post I'm considering giving a list of writers I like (aka have a lot of fics that I like so I save their name instead of individual fics), which will be one post since there's not too many. After that we can finally get to the longer fics!

[sollsmith]

Fire in the Flesh

Chapter Two

Daemon Targaryen x Original Female Character

Words: 1.2k

Warnings: mentions of past and current abuse

Summary:

After five years at war in the Stepstones and the death of his first wife, Daemon Targaryen returns to court embroiling himself, and his niece and heir to the throne Rhaenyra, in chaos and scandal. Daemon’s actions cause Viserys to give him the one thing he has always wanted. A Valyrian bride. Just not the one he had in mind.

“You cannot say no”

“You heard the stories when you travelled to Driftmark with father. You told me them yourself!”

“The Triarchy decided to go to war. Men die at war, and the p-’

“In fact as I recall it, you referred to him as an ignoble savage. Those were the words you used!”

Maelor stops and watches as his sister. Not realising he had stopped, Daella continued, talking at a pace that Maelor would have considered impressive if the situation was different.

“So I’m struggling to comprehend how you would agree to your little sister being pawned off to such a man. In fact, who's idea was it anyway?”

“El-”

“We have already tied ourselves to the Velaryons through you, and by default that ties us to the Targaryens in some way, so I don’t see why he’s so obsessed-”

“Ell-”

“Also have you considered that they cannot seem to find him a willing wife, a secondary one I add, in their own kingdoms, that they have resulted in seeking out a bastard girl, by their aunt who wants nothing to do with them, that they saw once twelve years ago? Does that not strike you as odd?” Daella, now at her father’s solar door, turns to her side to look at brother, finally realising he’s not there.

She spins around to face Maelor who is now several feet away from her. She doesn’t miss the look of sorriness on his face.

“What?”

“It’s not- just speak with father. But it’s done Daella, you cannot undo it. You know nothing is ever good enough for him.”

Maelor moves towards her now, taking both her hands in his. “He will not stop until he gets what he wants, and he will make it worse for you than it needs be. We both know that. Please, do not let him. For your sake, and mine.”

Daella sighs and nods, letting Maelor squeeze her hands softly before letting go to open the large wooden door for her. She gives him one last look before crossing into the living area. The fire remains unlit as it had done for the last three moons as the heat in Volantis was unforgiving as of late. Her father is on the far side of the room, breaking his fast.

She once enjoyed her visits to her fathers solar. When she was a child they usually included a game or two of cyvasse, and she usually left with pockets filled with sweet treats after her father let her win. That enjoyment had waned in the last ten years. Daella first noticed the change in her father when she once decided to visit her father unannounced in his rooms two days before her sixth name day. When he saw her, she was quickly met with shouting insults and books being hurled at her. One large ledger had hit her on the back of the head as she turned and ran out. She had been so terrified she had hid under the staircase in the Red Tower for hours, only Maelor could convince her to come out for supper with the promise of giving her his helping of olive bread.

They never celebrated Daella’s sixth name day that year, and eleven years later, they haven’t celebrated any of her name days since. Her life in Volantis was simple. For the last ten years she had followed the same routine, day in and day out. She woke early, before sunrise, and made herself presentable with the help of a lady in waiting her father had insisted on. Once she was ready, she would present herself for her father who either approved or did not approve of how she looked. If he approved, she could continue with her day which consisted of needle work in the morning, lunch alone in her rooms, a walk around the gardens, a visit to the library, supper with Maelor in the evening and then she would retire to her rooms. If he did not approve, she would return to her solar, add more rouge to the relevant cheek and then continue her day as normal.

She approaches the wooden table softly moving a chair back, being careful not to scrape it along the floor. Alios looks up at her as he helps himself to more crusty bread that was still warm from the ovens.

“Daella” He acknowledges roughly.

“Good morning father,” she almost whispers. The animated and vibrant girl that was talking quicker than she could breathe not even five minutes, was now gone, replaced by Alios’ timid and obedient valyrian beauty, that would get him places and things he did not even know he desired.

“You wished to break fast together?”

“I wished to discuss your upcoming nuptials,” Alios sets his knife down, and leans back in his chair. Daella takes both his words and demeanour in, now knowing she is not here to eat.

“I assume Maelor has told you?”

“He has told me that you have successfully arranged betrothals for us both.” Daella gives a tight lip smile.

“And I’m assuming he told you to whom I have made these betrothals with?”

“Maelor will marry Lady Laena Velaryon, daughter of Lord Corlys Velaryon and Princess Rhaenys Targaryen. And I a-” Daella chokes slightly, stopping to compose herself. Her hands are tightly fisted together, trying to distract herself enough that she does not cry as her reality finally hits her like a ton of bricks as she sits across from her father. Maelor was correct, she could not say no. It did not matter what she said or did, her father will make this marriage happen. No, simply was not an option.

“-and I will marry Prince Daemon Targaryen, brother of the King of Westeros, Viserys Targaryen.”

“You must be joking!” Daemon is furious. He’s not sure he’s ever been so furious in his life. Rhea Royce was an oversight by his grandmother, but this, this was an insult.

“No Daemon, I’m not. She’s the perfect solution to this mess. The mess you created.”

“How is marrying me to our aunts bastard daughter a solution exactly?” Daemon hisses.

“Look at yourself Daemon. Your behaviour with Rhaenyra, your patronage at the brothels on the street of silk-”

“You’re suddenly very concerned about how I wet my cock brother”

“I care when it concerns my daughter. MY HEIR,” It was Viserys’ turn to be hostile now. Ever since Otto woke him five days ago to inform him about the prince and daughter’s night in King's Landing. The days following have been long consumed with plotting, ravens and shouting matches between brothers and fathers and daughters. In the end, three betrothals were made. Princess Rhaenyra to Laenor Velaryon to mend the broken bond between the families after Viserys’ rejection of Laena in favour of Alicent Hightower. Laenor would marry Maelor Nogarys, to mend the rising tensions due to Corlys’ war in the Stepstones blocking Alios’ trading paths for nearly six years. The final was between Daemon and Daella. One made to squash the Princes’ infatuation with his niece, while also appeasing his clear gravitation and preference for those of Valryian blood.

“It’s done, Daemon. You will marry the girl. I will hear no more of it.”

Daemon doesn't say no more. He simply turns on his heels and storms from the council room, leaving Viserys hoping he hasn't broken down his family further. 

Tag List: @ajthefujoshi

Add yourself to my taglist here!

For the masterlist to this series and all my other fics click here!

[aechii]

getting into a fight with jude then you break up w him , then months later he sees you at a party n still wants you back 🙏🏽🙏🏽

₍₍ SiX FEET UNDER ₎⁠₎

PAiRiNG ?! toxic!ex!jude x exgf!reader

GENRE ?! angst

C/W ?! she/her pronouns used, unhealthy relationship, something about writing toxic!jude that has me brainrotting, reader knows her worth, profanity, a small cameo of playboy!trent, drinking (sip responsibly ppl)

A/N ?! i love love love writing toxic!jude, fight me. other than that, plz do enjoy because for once in a while, im liking what i've written <3 [next fic will be a trent one, dwdw]

~°~

"you're not fucking getting me, jude!"

the heat she felt is all encompassing, red, burning fury for a man— boy, who timelessly strung her along with reins of faded promises and stagnant affection. a piling mountain of 'what could i have done better?' weighed like rocks and bricks, yet if her mother were here, she would've looked on with absent surprise.

she had warned her daughter, begged her even, that men— boys like jude had their words proclaimed as if in the finality of red ink, but their minds basked in a bath of sinful infidelity.

but [y/n] craved love. a feeling she had never encountered fully as it was more of a come and go, never marinating into her flesh and heart. but jude— god, jude, with his heightened charisma and intoxicating smile, had promised to love her from sunrise to sunset, from dusk till dawn.

yet, if those words held any truth, then they wouldn't have stood there, in an air of edged demise.

"listen," jude looked completely uncaring, dragging a hand down his face, "if you can't fucking tell, i'm trying, yeah? and it's not everyday i'm gonna be available."

"i never said i wanted you here everyday, jude," [y/n] cried, frustrated. her bones felt heavy, yet it was the hurt in her chest that blinded every sense of her's.

jude threw his arms in the air, scoffing, "then what the hell d'you want, [y/n]?" his voice resonated with exasperation.

"for you to be 100%, jude, it's not that hard! and if you can't handle a relationship— an exclusive relationship, then don't waste my time!"

they were tipping over at the edge of the cliff, and their fall was inevitable. frankly speaking, [y/n] should've known that their whole... involvement with each other was just a sprint to this foreshadowed end. it started off rocky, and no matter how insistent the red lights were, her eyes were glazed with blatant ignorance.

jude's presence then was like a toxin, accumulating in her muscles and causing every inch of movement to release pain. she needed to leave, with not a turn of her head back, and put jude in her first and only failed attempt of what could've been a blissful experience.

"you know what? i'm done— i can't stand here looking stupid for a boy who doesn't love me the same way," she scoffed, turning on her heel to climb the stairs.

she wished she hadn't had heard it. maybe it would've made her departure easier, that jude, truthfully, cared about her and just had the pieces of his mind misplaced and skewed. that maybe all they needed was space and time to seek and mend before they could try again.

but what she got was like a slap to the face, and the sickening truth that jude was never hers. and never wanted to be hers.

"since you can't understand where i'm coming from for shit, by all means, [y/n], leave."

+_-

the party had been, literally, timeless for jude. he hadn't known for how long he swirled the red cup of [spiked] punch pressed into his hand as he leaned against the door frame and observed the busy bodies that made him stick out like a sore thumb.

it had been months, 3 months, as jude'd been counting, since [y/n] bode her adieu to their relationship, or rather, whatever remnant of it remained. he felt like a disassociated body, existing for the mere fact that he had to, not because he wanted to, and part of him wanted to believe that it was all part of the 'life' experience.

it wasn't.

denial was a vile thing, and everyday, he woke up thinking that their end was her fault, and not his. that whatever they had was a lesson among others, and that he had to move on and find someone else that he could attach his data to.

but he knew, knew that [y/n] was a person that appeared like a blue moon, and soon enough, he found himself lost like a needle in a haystack and regretting. had no one but himself to blame, even his damn brother told him so.

his appearance externally, to those who didn't know what revved inside him, was a continuous ebb and flow from one party to another. whatever he had to do to make him forget was his priority, and if he had to get mind-numbingly drunk to do so, then it was welcomed to be his guest.

it was his 3rd one of the week, by approximation. more or less, he didn't care, nor did he want to know, because recklessness was what seemed more comfortable than guilt and shame, and he was so sure that his body was more alcohol than water. counted his lucky stars that it was the end of the season and so he could do whatever his heart urged him to do. his heart, keyword there.

his darkened mood seemed to have seeped into the room because after hours of remaining stagnant doing nothing, trent walked up to him, identical solo cup in one hand and the other weighing on his shoulder with concern.

"guilt is eating you up, eh?" trent chided, although not as cheerily as expected. jude grunted and took another sip as he huffed out a flippant, "shut up," that had trent throwing his hands up, as best as he could, in defence.

"look- i've been there, done that."

jude looked at him suspiciously, "you've had flings, trent."

"yeah," he shrugged, mellow yet firm, "to forget about her."

"never knew that," jude said with an air of surprise. trent wasn't necessarily the best person to come to in terms of... serious romance, per se.

just as trent went to retort, jude's eyes cast around the room, and zeroed entirely on one hovering figure, meddled with a group of more girls who looked far too merry compared to the one that caused jude's tunneled vision, and before he could stop himself, his mouth punched out a, "fuck."

trent caught whiff of jude's exasperated and frozen countenance, "what?"

it took a whole body and more for jude to respond, "she's here."

then trent's head whizzed around, seeking for the girl whose scarce presence had his friend in complete misery and his line of sight paralleled jude's, "i... did not know she was coming."

"me too," jude said automatically, and as if they had a mind of their own, his feet began to move. trent noticed immediately, and a tough grip wrenched around jude's bicep, "where do you think you're going?"

"to talk to her?" enunciated as if it were a question, but there was an undercurrent of certainty that made trent want to slap jude for his sheer stupidity.

"and do what? beg for her forgiveness as if you did not walk her out your home hand in hand?"

jude scowled at trent's bluntness, "it wasn't like that."

"well it fucking seemed like it," trent chastised.

jude was completely deaf to trent's words by then, as the second she was left alone by the bar, he had an aim. an aim to get her back by the end of the night, and if he didn't, he wouldn't walk out there with all pieces of him intact.

did he need her? yes. and it may have taken him too long to realise, but jude didn't care. it was all part of the 'life' experience.

he managed to slip out of trent's vice grip (who, at that point, had given up drilling pleads into jude. he had to plummet back to reality, one way or another), and by auto-pilot, walk towards [y/n] who has too busy ordering another round of shots to even notice his arrival until his words punctured the air, "hey."

[y/n] spun around. rapidly and in complete shock as her eyes were blown wide. she had wanted to utter everything and nothing at all, but her mouth seemed to malfunction, to both her dismay and relief, so she resolved to a questioning jut of her head forward.

jude nervously scratched the back of his neck, "i uh- how have you been?"

she thought for a few seconds then shook her head conclusively, "as best as i could be, jude."

it may have not been intentional- matter of fact, who had jude been kidding? it was intentional, the icy tinge in her tone and closed off-ness as she settled her stance and crossed her arms. a blank space, gaping and hollow, was left in silence as jude tried to find words to say.

"i'm sorry."

[y/n] looked at him incredulously, "you're sorry?"

jude nodded.

and then she laughed. jude would've blamed it on drunkeness if it hadn't been for the obvious, mocking sarcasm as she stopped and looked at him just as quickly as she started.

"you're funny jude, very funny," she chuckled, turning around to slide a shot glass from the counter, raising it in gratitude to the bartender who gave her a nod back, before patting jude's arm to walk away.

he was delirious by then. in absolute confusion, wondering what he had done to seem so... ridiculous to [y/n]. he had apologised, hadn't he? made sure to make it as geniune as he mouth could mold it and that was enough. it had to be.

he spluttered, reaching out to stop her by her wrist, but, as if his touch were hot, she slapped him away, "don't you fucking touch me, jude."

"i said i'm sorry-"

"and you think that's enough? to do what, jude? get me back?"

he nodded and she laughed again, chesty and completely deprecating.

"you know, let me give you advice jude," her expression submerged jude 6 feet under, it felt like it, "don't date. you're completely shit at it."

jude was definitely 6 feet under.

[bokutizer]

early mornings with them.

Includes : Kaeya, Thoma, Ayato Tags : fem!reader, fluff

kaeya : it’s bizarre. seeing this witty, charming man look so relaxed, at ease, and so... quiet beside you. it's bizarre having him lying next to you but not hearing the suave voice of his that never fails to warm your cheeks. speaking about warmth, he tends to run hot during the night, which leads to you often catching yourself unconsciously pulling the blanket a little higher over his naked torso. the morning sun casts a light shimmer over him, the messy blue strands look brighter, his bronze skin taking on a caramel like hue, and his long lashes move with every little twitch of his eyes. only archon knows what is going on inside his head, let alone his dreams. yet as soon as those eyes blink open and that usual smirk graces his lips, your soft expression turns into rolling eyes and pouty lips, masking the rapidly beating heart inside your chest.    "like what you see, princess?"

thoma : it’s like having an overly large lap dog sleeping beside you. finding sleep without being physically close to you is for him nearly impossible. he doesn’t care whether his arms are wrapped around you, his hand is holding yours, or whether your leg is limply thrown over his waist; he needs to feel you. knowing that you, his love, his friend, his family, his everything, are near him is enough to let any uneasy thoughts and doubts disappear. and once he wakes up, it’s like experiencing the sunrise for a second time. blonde hair shining like gold and a smile so warm that not even the sun itself could compete with it. sleeping with thoma is all sleepy smiles and giggles, shy kisses, and tender words of encouragement for the upcoming day. sleeping with thoma is giving each other comfort and refuge as well as strength and energy for any approaching hardships. "good morning, beautiful. did you sleep well?"

ayato : a man of politics and justice, so reliable, so independent, so strong. and yet seeing his light blue hair softly fall along his temples and frame his exceptionally pretty face, his skin as light as porcelain, and the dark circles beneath his eyes that could never make him look anything less than maybe a little more human; you know that he'll soon have to get up and pursue his duties. so all you can do is gently wrap his arm around your waist while burying your face in his neck, savouring this tranquil moment with him. his busy life has taught the both of you to enjoy each other's company as much as possible. so when you’re slipping way too quickly back into dreamland, you don't notice his hold on you tighten a tiniest bit, don't feel his lips against the top of your head, and don't hear his words. "i'm missing you already."

[neapolitanupsidedowncake]

how mha characters would propose! Or just ask you out on a first date? 💗💗💗 Also I love ur blog sm its so cute!

BNHA BOYS PROPOSING 💖 gn!reader 💌

content warning: fluff, multiple char. x reader, mentions of wine

DENKI

i think from the first month or so of your relationship together he was thinking "im so gonna marry them 💖" but waited about 4 years or so into dating

he's really nervous about proposing 🥺😭

he wanted to make it special for his precious bean 💞

he asked kirishima and sero to help give him tips 😂

on the day he decided to propose he came to your house early in the morning so he could take you to a nice valley range

you guys just hang out at like 5 in the morning alone on top the pretty little hill he chose just talking about your life and some interesting things you saw recently

when suddenly (he was waiting for the perfect sunrise moment) he told you to follow him then close your eyes

he took you to a flower field nearby, knelt down and pulled out a pretty ring box (😭🥺) tells you to open your eyes!!

and it's just the cutest and nicest thing you've ever seen, and he tells you he loves you so much and he wants to spend eternity with you forever and ever 💗💗

IZUKU

this man goes all out!! and on your anniversary too!

on the day of your third anniversary, izuku is so excited and nervous because he really wanted to make a proposal special for you, his adorable little bean &lt;;/3

he researched a LOT, and even finds out what knee to kneel on (left knee)

he dresses rather nice, debating for about thirty minutes with himself to dress more casually than a three piece suit, settling on wearing a beige sweater you gave him for his birthday.

he even asked his mom about tips, 💓 asking where some places would be nice to go to

he told you he wanted to meet at a shopping place for you to have some fun, then visit a park with pretty flowers

he takes you shopping for your anniversary gift for the day, and the whole time he holds your hand, thinking on how lucky he was to have you.

when it actually comes the time when you go to the park (the place he chose to propose) he's a little sweaty, nervous, and he fears you might just reject him

so when he suddenly, abruptly gets down on one knee (in his panic on his right knee), that wasn't his intention (he planned to do it in front of a pretty tree) but he's doing it

he's crying a little bit, and he starts off by saying that he loved you since he first talked to you in high school. he has a velvety ring box open, and he asks you "will you stay with me forever y/n?"

after you say yes, he's the happiest man in the world, crying, and he squeezes you in a tight hug 🥺💗💗 (in front of a park bench)

SHOTO

after about 3 years of dating, to propose, this guy makes a candlelight dinner for you two at your guys' house!!!!

fuyumi is so excited when she finds out because she LOVES you!!!

he asked his brother, natsuo if that was really cheesy or not, he said yeah, but he did it anyway.

he asked one of your friends secretly to take you out on the day he planned it all out, so it was a surprise for you

he made a meal you both liked, and he got fancy expensive candles and lit it with his fire a few minutes before you got home.

he even put some red rose petals around and on the table 💗💗

he makes sure to dress fancy, and for once even messes with his hair a little bit to make a nice style!

when your friend takes you home, you see the candlelight dinner, with the rose petals, and fancy wine and your soon to be fiancé in a nice suit 🥺💌

he walks you to the table and pulls your chair out for you (gentleman!!) and asks you how your day was with your friend.

you guys talk for a while, and after you both finish eating, he walks to your chair, kneels down, and pulls out an expensive looking ring box from his pocket.

in the soft candlelight, he says, "y/n, my love for you grows more and more every day, and I would be so lucky if you felt the same way. will you marry me?"

after you say yes, he fits the ring on you and decides to slow dance w you with some soft music in the back (🥺😭💗💗)

a/n: (lmao i think i changed the tense of the verbs like 3288432x but wtv lol) i like this prompt, it's really cute, and i love seeing cute proposals or hearing about them it's just too sweet yk? 🥺💖💖 i chose some of my favorite bois, i hope these reach your expectations anon!! so sorry for the long release date 😭

[writerpetals]

blood donor | 🔞

; optional female lead smut |  ☁️

w: vampire!au, biting, blood

It shouldn’t surprise you when you find your roommate with her teeth buried into a stranger’s neck when you come home from an extra long shift at work, but it does anyway. It shouldn’t surprise you that she doesn’t look alarmed when you walk in on her sucking the life out of some poor soul who probably thought he was going to get laid and be on his way because it’s far from new, but it does.

It always does, and to say you’re fed up with her bringing her dinner home to play and eat in your living room would be an understatement. The least she could do is go to her own room, you think just as you’re huffing and shaking your head, and her poor meal is seconds away from not seeing the next sunrise.

“Look, I know I’m not supposed to bring my food here, but-”

“Don’t say that,” you interrupt her while she is chasing you down to explain herself. You barely had enough energy to roll your eyes and bitch her out as she shuffled her nearly lifeless dinner out of your apartment, but you should have known rooming with a vampire would lead to such things. “Don’t call him food. He has a name, probably a family, maybe kids. Who knows?”

“Sorry,” she replies with a pout, blood-soaked lips protruding and you wish she didn’t look so cute as she apologizes because she’s a man-eating vampire after all.

Not that you would ever have to fear for your life when it comes to her. You’ve known her for far too long and made a promise when she moved in that your blood was off limits. Which it’s why it’s so easy to cross your arms over your chest, shake your head, and huff in annoyance while arguing with her in your bedroom. Sure, she could rip you apart if she truly wanted to have things her way, but she has always respected you more than the lousy humans she brings home to feast on and she promised, when you first met her, she would never do anything to harm you.

“The bar I found him at was closing and I was so hungry.” Of course, that’s about the only promise she’s ever kept. Clearly the rules of your home, which include not draining the life out of someone when you’re around, mean nothing to her, as well as the times you’ve woken up to a nearly dead stranger on your couch and one night-stands with bloody necks scrounging through your fridge for milk. “Please don’t be mad.”

From the way she pouts and uses her wide, glistening puppy dog eyes at you, it’s hard to believe she could be so vicious and bloodthirsty. You don’t even bother asking how she lured the man into your home. Charming him, hypnotizing him, or maybe even bashing him over the head and dragging his lifeless body could all be options and you’re far too tired for one of her crazy explanations.

“Fine. Whatever. Just don’t do it again, okay?” You sigh, peeling your dirty scrubs from your body to leave you in your underwear, wanting to wash up and rest after a busy night at the hospital you work at. You gather your clothes to toss in the washer as she follows, not even concerned with the blood drying on the sides of her mouth or her white t-shirt now stained red.

“You’re the best human, you know that?” she asks as she grins.

“Mhm,” you hum with sarcasm, slamming the lid of the washer once you added enough soap before making your way to the bathroom in the hall. “Why do I put up with you? It’s beyond me sometimes.”

“Not too sure,” she giggles nervously, handing you a fresh towel after you’ve turned on the shower, “but I’m glad you do.”

***

Your alarm wakes you the next morning with a harsh buzzing in your ear, causing you to groan and wish you were able to get more sleep between shifts. It doesn’t help when you come home expecting to wind down before bed with some peace and quiet, but end up arguing with her over her dinner. Not to mention it’s difficult to get the images of her nearly departed guest out of your mind and it only makes it worse when she is desensitized to all the blood and death.

Still, you try to understand her while remembering there are major differences between vampires and humans you decided to ignore when agreeing to be roommates. Even if a few rules are broken, it’s hard to remain upset when you see her figure curled up on the couch when you shuffle to the living room half-awake. You rub your sleepy eyes to focus on her dozing off while watching late night reruns of a show she’s seen a hundred times before. There’s only a few times she looks peaceful enough for you to almost forget the undead, blood-drinking being she really is, and if it weren’t for the daylight beginning to peek through the curtains, you would leave her be.

“It’s almost morning, sleepy head,” you whisper in her ear after making your way toward her. A hand rises to brush the long strands of black hair from her face, taking in her fluttering eyes and puffy cheeks once she looks up at you. “Go get in your coffin before the sun comes up.”

She frowns in an instant and you can’t help but to giggle at your own joke. “You know I don’t sleep in a coffin.” She huffs and pushes herself from the couch.

“Well you won’t be sleeping at all if you’re dust the moment the sun rises. Go to bed. I have to get ready for my shift.”

“Another shift?” She groans and wipes her eyes as you nod your head.

“Yup,” you tell her with a sigh. “And it’s going to be worse considering it’s Halloween and there’s going to be more accidents than we can keep up with.”

“When will you be home?” she asks as she follows you to the bathroom, watching you grab your toothbrush from its holder to apply a minty toothpaste.

“Working a double tonight. So… really late.” Even the mention of your long shift ahead has your legs and feet aching, but at least the pay is good and the promise of a Halloween pizza party at work with candy and dessert make it not so terrible. The thought of food, however, has you remembering the night before all over again. “Make sure to eat before I get home,” you tell her, watching the bashful way she bites her lip as she leans against the door frame.

“Yeah, yeah.” Her shoulders slump, watching you reflection in the mirror as you brush your teeth. “I promised I wouldn’t bring food home anymore, didn’t I?”

You can’t help but to laugh with your mouth full of toothpaste due to her expression, bottom lip pouting and her gaze falling to her feet.

“Go to sleep!” you tell her, pointing toward her bedroom with toothbrush in hand. “Dust! Remember?”

She giggles right along with you, but she nods and follows your orders by heading to bed while you continue getting ready for your shift.

***

When you returned home from work, you half expected her to not have kept her promise. You didn’t want to be surprised again, even though there’s no doubt you are a bit shocked each and every time she forgets that you’re human and you’re not used to seeing her feeding on someone. You brace yourself as you open your front door, expecting to see another bloody neck or her in pure bliss from feeling so full. You even expected another naked house guest rummaging through your fridge, and so you braced yourself for that as well. Just in case.

What you didn’t expect was to see her all alone, flipping through the TV channels in the dark with a dazed look on her face. You aren’t sure if the circles under her eyes or the pout on her lips is out of boredom or something else, but you step to her with caution, bracing yourself for the reasoning as well.

You call her name, and she doesn’t even move an inch. The TV remains on some boring scary movie playing just for Halloween, but from the dead look in her eyes, it’s clear she’s not paying attention. “What’s wrong?”

“Hungry,” she responds, the words falling from her lips in more of a growl than her actually speaking. “Streets were too busy and full of kids. Parties were too big, too many witnesses. I couldn’t find anyone to feed on.”

With that, you settle next to her, never having seen her look as such with her hair a bit messy, as if she has been fidgeting with the strands for a while, and a lost gaze on her face. Though, you’ve never seen her when she has gone without feeding on someone, and the thought makes your heart race in your chest.

“What about the blood in the fridge?” you suggest, remembering how you bought the synthetic blood substitute she swears is the nastiest thing she’s ever tasted. Still, it has kept her from going into a frenzy when she couldn’t find anyone to feed on.

“All out,” is all she replies, sinking deeper into the couch as if she’s grown too weak for even a conversation.

“Are you sure you couldn’t find anyone? Maybe when the kids are done trick-or-treating? Less witnesses then.” For her being a bloodthirsty, and at times vicious vampire when she’s hungry, she’s always made an attempt to never hurt children. In fact, her targets are often loners, and she never drains anyone completely dry. You have to give her credit for trying hard to still live an honest life, though you aren’t sure the act of drinking blood is very moral to begin with, but those are the cards she was dealt when she was turned. “Maybe there’s still one of those sketchy stores still open that sell the blood? Do you want to go with me to check?”

“Nah, too late and I know you’re tired from your shift. No point in walking across town.” With that, she huffs, flipping off the TV and standing from the couch to make her way to the bedroom. “I’ll just feed tomorrow night, I guess.”

You’re quick on your feet to follow her. “What happens if you don’t feed for a while?”

“I grow weak,” she answers as she sinks into her bed, showing you exactly how weak she’s become already. “It becomes painful the longer I go. I lose strength and it becomes harder to charm or hypnotize people while I feed. Basically I become a pathetic, weak human… like you.”

“Well do you get grumpy, too? Because that was a little mean and unnecessary.” You frown as you make your way to her, having a seat on her bed while she chuckles softly at your reaction to the playful insult. “Well… what if…”

Your voice fades, thoughts of how to help her racing through your mind. In the end, you only come to one solution, though it’s a risky one and one she promised would never happen in the first place. However, seeing her in such a condition has your heart aching. You don’t want her to be a lifeless zombie, even if she is already dead, and slightly grumpy. You definitely don’t want to see her in pain if she waits any longer.

“What if you feed off of me?” As you offer the suggestion, she pops up from her position on the bed. Her brows raise, eyes growing wide for a second before she settles, the idea suddenly causing her to lick her lips.

But she shakes her head a moment later. “No way,” she begins to turn you down, “no, we can’t do that.”

“Why not?” You turn your body to face her, a frown forming on your lips. “Is my blood not good enough? And it’s just once, what’s the harm?”

“Don’t say stupid stuff,” she argues, causing your jaw to slack. “It’s not your blood, it’s the fact that we live together. There’s a reason I go find strangers I’ll never see again to feed off of.”

“And that is?” You cross your arm, taking offense to the way she turns you down.

“Because I’ll never see them again, dummy!” She groans and shakes her head, grabbing her stomach while she does so and you wonder just how hungry she’s gotten. “That’s taking a big risk to let me taste your blood and still have to live with you.”

“Why?” you challenge her with a raised chin.

“Once I taste you, I…” She stalls, looking away as her fingers dig into her sweatshirt at just the thought of drinking from you. “Once I taste you, I can’t promise I won’t want more. I’d rather just wait until tomorrow night and find someone I don’t know.”

“Then drink from me tonight and go find someone new tomorrow. What’s so hard about that?”

You barely get time to finish the sentence before you hear her growl. In an instant, she’s pouncing you, pushing your back to the bed with a fierce grip on your shoulders. Her legs fall to each side of your body as she holds you down, baring each sharp point of her fangs while remaining an inch from your face.

“Why are you such a stupid human sometimes?”

“Wh-What?” you stutter, never looking away from her darkened eyes or desperate expression. “I want to help. I don’t want you to be in pain.”

“See? Stupid.” She huffs, and a few seconds later she pulls away from your body to release you from her hold. “You would risk your life just because you care for me?”

“I’m not risking my life.” As you rise from her bed and she settles in the spot next to you, you have to chuckle. “It’s one time. I’m not scared of you. Plus, I know you like me too much to endanger me.” With that, you nudge her arm, causing her to roll her eyes, but she can’t hold back the laugh that falls from her lips.

“You really are a dumb human.” She sighs, contemplating the offer in her head for a few more moments. “Fine, I’ll drink from you. But if I take too much, tell me to stop, yell my name, or… I don’t know, stab me in the heart with a wooden stake.”

“Does that really work?” you question, watching her bite her bottom lip and shake her head.

“No, honestly it would just piss me off.”

You giggle while beginning to lift your shirt over your head, finally realizing you never even changed out of your work clothes after your shift. Since you arrived home, your focus was entirely on her while trying to make sure she was okay. Maybe you like her more than you realized, even if she is a rule breaking vampire.

“Why… why are you undressing?” Suddenly there’s tension between the two of you. It’s clear from the way she averts her gaze, looking anywhere but at you while trying to ignore the fact that you’re in your bra as you begin pushing your pants down your legs.

“I don’t want to stain my shirt in case you’re a messy eater,” you tease her as she begins to groan in embarrassment. “What’s the big deal? You’ve seen me naked before when I rushed out of the shower because I forgot my towel. My underwear should be nothing new.” More giggles fill the space between the two of you to join the tension, and finally she is able to meet your eyes.

“Yeah, but not while I’m feeding from you.” She scoots a little closer while you make sure your neck is open and available for her, tilting your head to one side and noticing the way she licks her lips as her nostrils flare. “Feeding can be an intimate experience, depending on how well you know the person and how close the two of you are.”

“I trust you,” you remind her with a smile, but the hesitation is evident on her face.

“I think you trust me more than I trust me.”

A few moments of awkward silence pass. It’s clear she doesn’t know where to start, and considering this is your first time offering your blood to her, you aren’t too sure, either. It’s another surprise to find her so nervous when normally she has no problems finding her dinner, feeding form them, and sometimes even fucking them if she likes them enough. Now she doesn’t even know what to do with her hands as she begins to reach for you, but quickly shys away only to have her fingers fidgeting in her lap.

“How do you want me?” you finally ask, wanting to make it easier for her.

“I, uh, I don’t know.” She hesitates for another second or two, looking you up and down but her eyes eventually make their way back to your neck. “I’ve never been like this, I’m sorry. I just… I can hear your heart beating, and it makes the scent of your blood stronger. I’ve gone longer than I usually do without feeding. I don’t want to cross the line. You mean too much to me to offend you, or hurt you, or worse.”

Maybe her hunger has her being a bit more honest. Maybe it’s the nerves, you aren’t sure. All you know is you have never seen her so awkward and hesitant with feeding before, and you realize it’s up to you to take control.

“How’s this?” you ask just you lay flat against her bed. Your head settles on her pillow, realizing it’s softer than your own and maybe you’ll have to borrow it once this is all said and done. You inhale a sharp breath, feeling the nerves just the same as the scent of her shampoo lingering over her pillowcase fills your nose. For some reason, it calms you. It reminds you this is the roommate, close friend, you’ve lived with for so long, the one that you can borrow her blankets and she will steal your shampoo just like normal friends. The girl you come home to find watching stupid movies on TV when she’s not feeding off of some stranger and the one you take care of by making sure she’s in bed before sunrise.

“That’s… that’s good,” she tells you with a nod, looking over your body in her bed, wearing nothing but your underwear with your neck exposed, waiting on her fangs to sink into your flesh.

“You don’t have to be worried,” you assure her, tugging on the sleeve of her sweatshirt to pull her closer. “You can touch me. I’m not scared.”

You hear her gulp a second before she leans in. It’s clear she’s holding back, normally having fun and playing with her meals before she feeds, but tonight is different. Tonight there’s history between her dinner and her. Tonight she has to be scared of going too far because she does care, just like a stupid human would and part of her feels embarrassed for allowing emotions to get in the way. Tonight she’s drinking the blood of the only person she’s ever gotten close to and the fact that she’s already so starved means she has to be cautious.

However, you’re there to coax her, to reassure her. You’re there to pull her closer to your neck, feeling her lips brush against the delicate, soft flesh. You’re there to tell her it’s okay, you don’t want her to be in pain.

“Bite me,” you whisper in a shaky breath, “taste me.”

As if she can no longer hold back, she opens her mouth wide to press the points of her fangs against your flesh as she hovers over you. She braces herself with a hand on each side of you and you clench your fists in a tight ball to prepare for the pain.

But she doesn’t bite down. She doesn’t pierce your skin with her fangs and instead, she drags the points ever so slowly across your flesh. The sensation has a chill racing down your spine. Goosebumps form along your skin and you can’t help the gasp that escapes your lips.

“I have to be honest,” she whispers in your ear, her darkened tone causing your heart to beat twice as fast and it only makes it worse when you know she can hear every thump, thump, thump in your chest. “I have wanted to taste you for so long.”

“Y-You have?” You can no longer keep your eyes opened. They snap shut with the words you speak, finding the tension swelling between the two of you, but now it’s different. Now the control has shifted as if the monster within her has awakened.

“Mhm,” she hums, chuckling against your skin before her lips press just beneath your ear. “Maybe I’m too hungry and don’t care anymore, but I wanted you to know before I drink from you. I need you to know how often I thought about this, even though you were off limits. Sometimes I even got off to the thought while I was with someone else.”

You gulp after calling her name, suddenly so breathless listening to her voice dripping with need in every syllable, the words strained on her tongue as if it’s taken everything she has not to devour you. But now you’re not sure, from the things she says, if she wants to taste your blood, or maybe she needs you in other ways.

“I know I’m being selfish right now but if I don’t say this, I never will.” Another kiss against your neck has you trembling beneath her, but it’s hard to ignore the fire she ignites in your body. The heat begins to swell between your thighs as well as an ache that settles deep within your core. “And even though I am absolutely starving, part of me wants to take my time and cherish the moment, feeding from you, the way you taste as your blood drips over my tongue. Because, God, you smell amazing and I know you will taste so damn delicious.”

As she speaks, she has suddenly gained the courage to touch you. Her hand rises to fall against your hip, starting with gentle circles with her thumb over your flesh until she grows greedy, caressing your side, from your hip up to your rib just beneath your breast, and then back down again. You can’t ignore the desire building within you as she does so. As if she’s awakened something in you as well, a need to give yourself to her and if she were to want it, the urge to have her tasting other parts of your body.

The images flash through your mind before you can stop yourself. You imagine her biting into your neck, drinking your blood as her hands wander and roam over your body. It doesn’t take long for the thoughts to shift to envision her mouth in other places, over your chest, your breasts, easing down your stomach until she’s between your thighs. God, how you wish she was between your thighs and the aching that begins to settle deep within you isn’t going away any time soon.

“Please,” you whimper, not even recognizing your own voice from how desperate you’ve grown. “Please, taste me.” Every word trembles off your tongue, and even she can sense the need within your ries.

“Taste you?” she asks as she pulls away, looking down at your shaking frame beneath her. “From the way you beg me… I would assume you mean in other ways.”

“I… I think I do,” you confess, screwing your eyes shut as the heat of embarrassment rushes to your face. “I don’t know why. I just… feel this need within me. I want you to drink from me and I want to give myself to you. I need it or I feel like I’ll go crazy. Is this what being charmed by a vampire feels like?”

“Huh? Charmed?” From her curious tone, your eyes flutter open to see her brows furrowed as she shakes her head. “No, I’m much too weak for that. Plus, I don’t actually charm people to feed from them, only after they agree do I help make it a pleasurable experience if they want it that way. You wouldn’t believe the kinky shit some humans are into. But, no… no, what you’re feeling now is completely… you.”

“So… this feeling…” Your eyes fall from her face, biting your bottom lip and trying to make sense of the desperate heat flooding every inch of your body. Never before have you been so turned on, so attracted to her. It’s true you often thought she was cute, but her thirst for blood and the fact that she is hundreds of years old and has no actual heartbeat has always kept you in check. Now, you aren’t so sure you mind.

“I told you,” she says with a sigh, gripping her stomach to make it clear the hunger is beginning to get to her, “it’s dangerous for me to taste you.”

You have to believe her now, though you didn’t want to heed the warning. Still, you aren’t sure if it’s her fangs that are dangerous, or the simple fact that from the moment she started, you would have given everything to her. To make it worse, it’s neither charm or hypnosis, but your own desires rising to the surface that you have tried to keep buried. It’s clear now there’s no use in trying to ignore the attraction you feel for your undead roommate, and thoughts of her being in pain still linger in your mind.

“It’s okay,” you tell her, sitting upright to meet her eyes as she settles on her knees before you. “I don’t care what happens. I want you to feed from me. I don’t want you to be in pain and… well, I don’t mind what I feel… if you don’t.”

Upon hearing the words, a devious smirk forms on her lips, a devilish glint in her darkened eyes. “Stupid human,” she teases you, a playful, light-hearted tone causing you to giggle only a second before her lips crash into your own. The kiss is unexpected but it fills your chest with a blossoming warmth that surges to every inch of your body. You can’t help your whimpers that tickle her skin and the chill that courses down your spine from the way she groans against your lips. The desire within you comes alive once again, burning hot, needing her touch, her bite.

You pull her down with you as your back hits the bed. Her hands, still gentle but desperate, grip your thighs, your hips, anywhere she can reach as she deepens the kiss. Trembling fingers slip between the soft strands of her hair, holding her close to you for now though the aching between your thighs returns. You’re hot and flushed and the room begins to spin as anything but reality takes hold. You can’t believe you’re doing this. You can’t believe you’re actually kissing her.

In the moment it feels so right, parting your thighs, allowing her to get comfortable between them. In the moment it feels perfect, and all you want is the pleasure she offers and to feel her fans sink into your flesh.

“Do it,” you tell her the moment you pull away in a gasp. “Bite me. Please.”

The vampire hovering above your trembling, needy frame doesn’t need much more convincing. Inside her is a desire that burns hot all its own. There’s a hunger clawing at her stomach and the scent of your blood mixed with the hint of arousal she can already smell between your thighs begins to drive her wild. She needs you just as much as you need her, and with a quick, final kiss against your lips she promises it will be worth it.

Her mouth trails down your jaw, reaching your neck in seconds and you bare your flesh to tell her it’s all hers. She groans against your skin, hot and needy and much more like an animal than any human you’ve ever known. Her desperation is evident as she licks your neck with a flick of her tongue, then kisses over the thumping of your blood pumping beneath your skin. As she does so, her hands roaming and running wild over your flesh make their way between your quivering legs, gentle fingers caressing over the base of your panties, soaking into the arousal that’s been pooling at your entrance ever since she first began touching you.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” she whispers against your flesh with hesitation, as if she’s scared you’ll turn her away but even more scared of hurting you.

“I’m sure,” you confirm your need to be bitten, to be tasted. “I want this so much, please.”

Another groan fills the air, urgent and demanding to send a shiver through your body. Within seconds you feel the sharp points of her fangs against your neck once again. She presses down, applying a pressure that has your insides shaking, buzzing with nerves, hoping it doesn’t hurt but hoping even more that you enjoy it because you want it more than anything. Your head tilts back while you feel her fingers continuing to tease your clothed slit, earning whimpers of her names, pleas begging her to bite down.

And it happens all too fast. In a blink of an eye her fangs pierce the delicate flesh, hot crimson spilling into her mouth as she cups your sex with her hand. A gasp spills into the room, feeling the pinch against your neck for only a moment, as quick as getting nothing more than a shot, but then it fades to absolute bliss. A new kind of warmth fills your body, tingling your fingers and toes, making your head dizzy and you would swear you were floating if she wasn’t on top of you holding your body in place.

With her hand diving deeper between your thighs, she peels back your panties so her flesh meets your slit, and you can’t resist moaning in pleasure from feeling her fingers caress your folds. A whimper of her name spills from your lips, feeling her sucking on your neck but it feels like nothing more than gentle foreplay. She’s careful, cautious, taking her time drinking from you even though the room is spinning and she’s burying a finger deep inside your dripping heat.

“God,” you cry out, eyes rolling in pure ecstasy and you grind your soaked slit into her hand. “That feels so… so fucking good, oh my God.”

You think you hear a chuckle against your neck, but it’s hard to comprehend thanks to the bliss filling every inch of your body. From her teeth in your neck to her hand between your thighs, you couldn’t imagine a more perfect feeling in the moment. She teases your slit, switching from pumping in two digits now, before caressing up to your swollen and achy clit to offer and a few slow, steady circles, earning moans of her name that beg her not to stop.

Seconds later, she pulls away from your neck with a gasp, blood dripping from the sides of her mouth and a wild expression on her face. Her eyes have darkened as black as midnight but there’s a fire, a desperate need to have you, burning within them. She licks her lips with a moan, staring down at your disheveled appearance, but she doesn’t stop offering pleasure between your thighs. She buries her two fingers deep within you, curling them because she’s decided you’re cute and irresistible when you whimper her name. A smirk crosses her bloody lips as she does so, watching how you wiggle your hips to get more, how your head falls back and your jaw slacks, how your fingers dig into the sheets beneath you while curses slip from your tongue.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking sexy,” she tells you with a giggle, leaning closer to lick up the blood coating your neck. The sensation has you moaning all over again, mixing with the bliss filling your body from her hand between your legs. “And you taste so delicious. Lucky I like you as much as I do or I would drain you fucking dry.”

From her playful, taunting tone you know she means no harm, but you can’t imagine caring either way. Not when she is making you feel as good as you do. Now when the heat of pleasure is swelling to every limb and the tension begins to tighten in the pit of your stomach. Though you feel weak from her feeding from you, you’re in a state of absolute satisfaction, and you haven’t even gotten off yet.

“Though, I am curious,” she begins again, slinking down the bed until her face is only inches from where he hand is playing, “how you taste in another place.”

“Another… place?” you begin to whimper, peering down at her bloody lips beginning to stain your white, cotton panties as she leaves kisses over your mound. Her fingers remain buried in your warmth, curled and teasing your g-spot enough to have your knees trembling.

“God, all I want to do is eat you out and taste your juices as you come on my tongue.”

Her words leave you shivering, anticipating what she wishes to do as the images of the act flood your mind. It’s just like before, except now she’s fed from you, she’s a mess, and you’re already so wet and dripping on her fingers, dying to come undone, that you could never tell her no.

“Please,” you whisper, head falling back against the pillow as she begins to pull your panties down your hips. “I want you to. I need to come.”

With that, she groans and tosses the flimsy cotton aside. She leans in, kissing your inner thigh, your bare mound, leaving marks of your blood over your skin with prints of her lips. Though you don’t mind getting a little messy if it means more pleasure, especially if she is so willing and eager. Your thighs fall open, inviting her in to your glistening, soaked slit that makes her moan with need. She’s dying to have you, to taste you again, to make you come. It’s clear in the way she wastes no time, slipping her tongue between your folds to gather your sweet essence, swallowing every drop with a satisfied hum.

“Fuck, you taste better than I imagined,” she tells you with a chuckle. You are far from giggling or laughing, however, feeling the need burning deeper and hotter than before, aching with desire and dying to come. “I thought about this so much… tasting you like this, eating your pussy and watching you come for me.”

Her words leave you breathless as she licks from your entrance to your clit, stopping at the swollen bud to tease in circles. A gasp fills her bedroom just as she presses the flat of your tongue to your flesh, massaging your clit to have your thighs tightening around her. She keeps them parted with two harsh hands, gripping them tight and digging her nails into your flesh. Then she carries on, teasing your slit, licking your clit, trailing down to your entrance to gather more of your juices just to taste.

You cry out, hips rolling and back arching. “Don’t tease me. I wanna come.”

She chuckles at that. “I never knew you were so needy.” Then she kisses your sex, again and again until she reaches your clit to wrap her lips around to suck for a moment. Your body tenses beneath the bliss, on edge and ready for release. When she pulls away, she does so with a giggle that tells you she enjoys teasing you and watching you get worked up. “It’s kinda hot, if I’m being honest. I like when you whimper my name and beg me.”

The stubborn side of you is tempted to withhold your pleas and moans because she’s enjoying it so much, but the rest of you that is aching and hot and wants to come has you giving in to her. “Please.” It’s hard to ignore that side of you when you admit you like it just as much. “Will you let me come?”

The question has her growling, clearly affected more than either of you want to admit. She doesn’t hesitate burying her head between your thighs once again, licking up your slit, pleasuring your clit as she massages up and down with her tongue. She has you on edge, burning up with desire and the need for release. Your body begins to tremble because you’re already so close. You feel the heat swelling to your cheeks, the tension building between your thighs that makes every motion of hers absolute bliss.

Then you feel the first rush of red hot pleasure erupting from your core to surge through your body. Your back arches as a gasp escapes your lips, crying out in bliss as you come undone. She continues tending to your clit, tasting the juices that spill over just for her, moaning between your thighs while never taking her eyes off of you. Your face twisted in pleasure with a furrowed brow and slacked jaw. Soft, desperate moans fall from your lips as you grip the sheets beneath you, all before your entire body goes limp.

Breathlessly you lay there as she gathers your juices over her tongue. She cleans you up, keeping her promise of wanting to taste you in every way, never getting enough of your sweet honey dripping out. You whimper a bit more, soft and quiet, from being too sensitive, and finally she pulls away with a mouth not only glistening from the blood where she bit you, but also your release.

“That was…” She begins to crawl up to you, kissing your lips once before nuzzling into your neck. “...so fucking hot.” Tiredly, you chuckle at her words, eyes fluttering close as the sleepiness from losing blood and an amazing orgams sets in. “Want me to get you a washcloth to clean up? Or some water? Maybe food? You’re going to be a bit tired for a while so you’ll need to regain your energy, so maybe I can throw one of those disgusting, frozen pizzas in the oven you like so much.”

Her care and worry has you smiling, but you turn it down with a shake of your head. “No, not yet,” you tell her, wrapping an arm around her to pull her close as she kisses the two bite marks on your neck, hoping they will heal quickly. “Just lay here like this with me for a bit.”

“Of course,” she agrees with a shy smile, and then her voice falls to a soft whisper on your ears. “I always imagined it being like this.”

You can’t hold back a grin as she giggles softly. Now you realize maybe she’s not the only one that has thought about being together, and maybe that’s the reason being with her feels so perfect.

[bhaalsdeepbat]

Hellspawn idea that hit me like a religious vision

Astarion can't stop thinking of the color of this flower Karlach found during one of the more idyllic moments of traveling to Baldur's Gate, and it should have been such an inconsequential moment. It was just a flower. But the delight burning in the embers of her mirthful eyes just sticks with him. And it's mostly annoying how happy she is about everything, but he also can't hold it against her when she, too, is adjusting to sudden, newfound freedom, and hers is much more limited than his.

And it isn't even a romantic moment or anything, right? Karlach just sees it on the edge of where the last bit of life was able to grow between the Shadow Curse and the land beyond it. She's STOKED. Bellowing in that way she does about this flower. She just takes a moment to enjoy it, then moves on. Doesn't pick it. Doesn't touch it. Just moves on with her day.

but this moment sticks with him and he thinks about it when they're curled together under the stars that night, his body fitting against the curve of hers, his cold weight soaking up every bit of warmth her overheated body will give him, and her arms are SO strong, but so gentle in the way she holds him.

The immortal forced to reckon with mortality bc this woman, who truly believe deserves a much better lot in life, only has a finite amount of time to appreciate the flowers and the sunrise and just. everything.

He'll still be able to live his life from the shadows and find beauty in the darkness, but Karlach?

He can see her death coming on the horizon and there's so much he actually wants to do, now that they're trying to make things real. and he just. is feeling the pressure bc he did waste time trying to get Karlach into a position to protect him and he'll forever feel bad about it (but not say anything bc that's his burden to carry).

So the immortal keeps thinking about this flower and what Karlach would look like adorned in beautifully crafted items accented in blue: gilded chains and cuffs adorning her hair and horns, sturdy leather dyed and stamped, fine silk embroidered with expensive floss, of all the nice things he wishes she could experience - because he promised her new experiences once they returned - and just.

When everyone's sleeping, he just spends that time sneakily embroidering this doublet he stole from a vendor the moment they entered the city. He's working against time, too, cus this is a gift he HAS to give her before her time is up. So, his skilled fingers move quickly, embroidering this black doublet with the most beautiful embroidery done mostly in blue, but accented with red, orange, and yellow.

He's almost done when Karlach tells him one night that she thinks she doesn't have much longer. Her heart is in overdrive and she can feel her body beginning to give out, to fail her when freedom was so close she could taste it. and it isn't fair. Astarion is SO angry at the world and at the Gods because he FINALLY has someone and. Time is running out. he feels even more powerless here because it really is just up to Karlach and whether she wants to keep going or not. He tries to talk to her about it, but usually they just end up fighting because they're both stubborn.

So, he avoids the conversation, mostly. Just tries to pretend the end isn't peeking over the horizon.

He doesn't give her the doublet right away. He doesn't want that finality, to give it to her and to know this may very well be the last time he gets to give her something he put his time into for her like this. and he has other gifts for her. a new owlbear to go with clive (even if he thinks that's juvenile, but he's not going to judge....well. he will, but not as much as if it were Gale who still had his stuffies). but he just. cannot bring himself give her this doublet bc he knows it's the first and last time she'll be adorned in something that he put together for her. the embroidered doublet is his labor of love, and the man does NOT like to labor.

embroidering isn't even necessarily his favorite thing to do, it's just one of his skills he actually has. he lacks self-confidence when it comes to what qualities he thinks he has that make him worthy of a relationship, but he can make sure his partners' clothes are mended and presentable.

When he finally gives it to her, it's after they take down Gortash. Karlach spends that very night alone, and Astarion cannot take it. He hasn't spent a single night away from Karlach since before they arrived at the Shadow-Cursed Lands, and now they're literally counting the days until they're taken from one another. He's big mad, seething, but very respectful to her bc he understands. he's not mat at HER, he's mad at everyone that took everything they could from her.

That's the first night he actually sits down and starts coming up with a plan. And it's a genuinely good one, but it's the first good one he's had in almost two-centuries. This is when he comes up with how he wants to convince Karlach to let him go to Avernus with her. He's not ready to let go and he is willing to murder his way through the Hells with her if he gets to see her smile about inconsequential things again.

He gives her the doublet the night before they plan to head for the Morphic Pool. They know it may be their last night together, so after a group meal, when everyone is winding down to turn in for the night, they make their way up to the roof of the tavern. They sit beneath the stars, side by side, but they're just sitting and refusing to look at one another.

Karlach is unusually still and silent. She's exhausted. Astarion swears she had his undead heart beating again, but seeing her like that had it stop cold in his chest. He tries to break the silence, to cut off his own thoughts so he doesn't spiral into despair thinking of the unknown, but just ends up reaching out to take her hand.

She's hot to the touch. He can feel that her temperature IS increasing and just. imagining what she's feeling and how she's been pent up this entire trip. like no fucking release from the pressure of this shitty heart that only does its job in the right environment.

She's the one who breaks it first. to thank him for his company. to tell him that he was a little fucking SHIT when she first met him, but she always could see something good behind the veneer of mischief hiding the fear in his piercing eyes. but she loves him and she's so, so happy to have been given a chance to love someone, to touch them freely, to feel loved in return. it was something she was missing in the last 10 years of the loneliness of being simple cannon fodder in an endless war.

and she doesn't want to talk abt this. she had been avoiding it, took him on their date to pretend like he wasn't doomed to be left alone in his eternity. And neither of them even MENTION the elephant in the room. like they're both talking circles around what's going to happen, but they're being honest about the feelings they have for one another. like the only thing they even voice concern for is not being able to take out the Absolute.

Under the stars, accompanied by declarations of love spilling from their lips, Astarion produces the doublet. Karlach is just ecstatic that she received a gift, but when she realizes HE embroidered it, she's just kinda like.

This is. the most beautiful gift i've ever received, fangs.

and her calloused fingers, fingers that had seen more war and death than anyone her age should have to, gently touch the floss, follow the design, and she realizes the particular shades of orange, red, and yellow are in her eyes, in her body, in her chest, all complimented by the blue thread he used as the main color of the design.

It's a design made of the sun, moon, and stars, trailing up the front, across the broad shoulders, and down the back yoke.

she's his sun. She's the gentle warmth of the sun's rays comforting him when he would rather recede to the shadows and fall back on old habits. she's his moon and his stars, his guiding light when everything seems like it may crash down and suffocate him. She's everything good in this world if you look for it. She's proof that you can be put through shit and still come out a decent person.

Karlach does cry, but it's nothing dramatic. It's a few tears, her own stomach and chest twisting with an overwhelming sense of loss and yearning; the loss of time when her light inevitably extinguishes and a deep yearning to stay. it's in direct opposition to her desire to die in the place she loves simply so she can keep living this life with the man she loves.

She puts the doublet on, wearing it that night while he cuddled against her side. They held each other beneath the stars, until it was time for Karlach to get some rest for the upcoming battle. Astarion spends that entire night just watching her, playing with her hair, getting every last touch he can, then makes a vow that he WILL save Karlach, just as she saved him.

[zenphiaaa]

Paper Rings (Tomioka Giyuu)

Y/N watched quietly as the man in front of her silently bandaged her injuries. The duo were sat by a willow tree, basking in the early morning rays and being greeted by a gentle wind in the calm air. The mission they just finished was anything but easy. With a surprise attack coming from a lower-moon demon and the need to protect the children that were still nearby. The fight felt like it lasted for hours, with every step the younger slayer took felt like stepping on nails. Every part of her body lit up in pain with every movement due to the harsh battle and the demon blood art weighing down heavy on her body.

Now sitting down and letting the pain and exhaustion catch up to her, she just felt tired. Almost empty.

Y/N flinched at the roughness of the guaze being wrapped around her injury. Giyu paused at his movements and glanced up at the other with a questionable stare. "Sorry," The male broke the quiet with a soft whisper, "Let me know if it's too tight."

She didn't reply but nodded her head instead, not trusting her voice to break the moment she tried to talk. Being so close to the Water Hashira despite the circumstances was still nerve-wrecking. Y/N did her best to hide her feelings towards the Hashira but sometimes she had a feeling everyone knew. At least no one was teasing her about it, at least her friends were kind in that way.

"Done. Do you need help with any of your other injuries?" Giyu questioned the female slayer.

Y/N shook her head, "I can help with your leg if you want. I don't think it has stopped bleeding." The demon slayer pointed out to the older slayer.

"I can handle it. You should take care of the rest of your injuries though. Don't let them get infected." Giyu stated as he leaned his back against the trunk of the tree and began to look over his injuries. Y/n watched him with a calm expression, watching the other demon slayer had a calming effect. Giyu always looked calm and collected, it was something that Y/N admired about the other.

He was mostly never shaken, he took everything with stride and always seemed to know what to do and how to do it. Y/N admired many things about the Water Hashira but she thinks that the one thing she admires the most is the other's heart. How kind the other was when he thought no one was looking.

The kindness of his heart was something that Y/N wanted to be directed towards her. At least once, even if it was for pity she would take it whole heartly. She would take anything Giyu gave her without question, she would take it all with a smile on her face. It almost scared her, the feelings she has for Giyu. How devoted she already was to a man who probably didn't see her as a woman.

She knew the job she had signed up for however. With every mission she finshes, is a mission that she is still alive. In a world of demons, having your life in tact is what matters the most. Not marriage or even love matters in a world like this.

It hurts.

***

Y/N watched the sunrise with a smile on her face, clutching her side tightly as an attempt to slow down the bleeding. The scenario that was unfolding in front of her was mirroring one a few weeks ago. Y/N feels lucky that Giyu and her were partnered together for another mission so soon. It was rare that Hashria's were partnered with other's in general. Partnering two Hashria's together was even rarer.

She only hopes that the next time the two are sent on a mission together, her injuries would become lighter. As Giyu makes sure that the demon stays dead, Y/n felt herself fall down to her feet. Unable to stay standing, Y/N moved herself up so she sat upright and could see where the other Hashria was.

Giyu snapped his sword back in place before finally making his way to other. He knelt down at look into her eyes, "Were you poisoned?" He questioned, eyes making their way down to the wounds that rested on the other's body.

Y/N shook her head, "Sorry, I didn't make it in time. I'll do better next time." Without noticing, a sob escaped her lips. She didn't want to appear weak towards the man who held her hearts in his hands. Why couldn't she be better? She tried her hardest to make it where neither of them would get hurt. She tried her hardest to not let anyone die this time. The pain from the lesion on her side didn't even compare to the pain that was in her heart.

Arms wrapped around her and held her in place tightly but mindful of the injury in her side. "Why are you crying?" He whispered in her ear. Instead of answering, the younger Hashria continuted to cry into the other's chest. Giyu didn't say anymore but maintained the tight hug, as if he held on long enough, everything would magically be okay again.

"Hey," Giyu suddenly spoke up, "Marry me."

Y/N pulled back and blinked at the man that was kneeling in front of her. "What?" She sniffed, not believing her ears for a moment. "What did you just say? Huh?"

Giyu sighed looking upset, "I didn't want to do it like this, but your not happy. I don't know if I'll be able to but, I'd like to be your peace. I want to make you happy for as long as you'll have me. Marry me, please."

Y/N stared at the other with wide eyes and a heavy blush on her checks. "But you, wait so you?" The words came and left her mouth as fast as she could think of something to say.

"I do." Giyu interrupted, starring back into Y/N eyes. "I want to protect you better. Everything about you I want to protect. Let me protect you. Let me in. Please, marry me." The Water Hashira didn't break eye contact with the younger slayer with each word stated.

The black haired male took in a deep breath before bowing his head down, "I want to be happy with you. Your my peace."

Y/N could feel her heart hammering down in her chest, it was almost painful. "You really mean it? Your not pitying me?"

Giyu raised himself up and gave Y/N a confused look, "Why would I marry someone for pity? Do you not believe in my feelings for you?" He questioned with a sade tone in his voice.

"I do!" Y/N rushed out and quickly grabbed the other's hands. "I love you too! So please marry me! I'll do everything in my power to make you the happiest man ever!" Y/N nearly shouted, eyes still wide with shock.

Giyu smiled and carefully pulled Y/N back into a hug, "You already do."

[strawberrybuni]

Valentine's Day w/ JJK peeps

Warnings: mostly fluff but there is some bits of smut

Characters: Gojo, Geto, Shoko, Nanami, Choso, & Toji

GOJO SATORU

Before you, Satoru had always felt like something was missing in his life. He honestly never really gave dating all that much of a thought. After all, he’s a busy man. Keeping Japan safe from curses takes a lot of time. Then he met you, and everything changed. You made his heart soar, he felt like he was on cloud nine whenever he looked into your eyes. You made him feel complete. To be honest, you’re his first serious relationship. Meaning, this is his first time with a proper Valentine, and he’ll be DAMNED if he doesn’t give you a top tier Valentine’s Day, better than any partners you had before him. You’re getting pampered from sunrise to sunset, he only wants the best for the person who’s stolen his heart. His sweet tooth causes him to want his dessert before breakfast, said dessert being you. He wakes you up with the best head you’ve ever received, a big lovesick smile on his lips after he’s made you cum. He showers you with praise as he cleans you up, savoring your taste. He’ll carry you to the dining room like the princess/prince you are where breakfast awaits you two. Afterwards, he takes care of all the cleaning while you get ready for the day he has planned. There’s a cute lil carnival going on in Tokyo, and Satoru has decided he’s gonna flex on all other boyfriend’s there by showing that he’s the best. He effortlessly wins you all the prizes you want and buys you whatever food you’re craving, just to see that cute, excited expression on your face. He adores you, he really does. He treats you to dinner at one of the most extravagant restaurants in Japan, letting you get whatever you want. All he can think about is how all he wants to be the reason you have that smile on your face forever, and no person or curse will get in his way of making you feel the love and care that you deserve.

GETO SUGURU

Suguru was on a dark path when he lost his way. His way of thinking was slowly changing, until you came along like this bright shining light guiding him through the darkness. You saved him from himself, stopping him from almost becoming a monster. He had always felt indebted to you. After all, he wouldn’t be teaching alongside his best friend if you didn’t change his way of thinking. He knew he could never repay you for what you’ve done for him, but he sure as hell wants to try. He spent WEEKS planning this day. Similarly to his bestie Satoru, he wakes you with top tier head, making you cum on his tongue multiple times. He sheepishly apologizes for overstimulating you, telling you how he gets lost in your taste. He cleans you up before leaving to go prepare breakfast, feeding you and taking care of you. Later on, he takes you to a petting zoo that you’ve been telling him about, buying you whatever souvenirs you’d like. No price is too much when it comes to making you happy. Eventually, he surprises you with a blindfold, telling you not to take it off until he says. You’re filled with questions as he drives, and of course he answers none of them as it would ruin the surprise. After leading you by hand once he’s parked somewhere, he tells you to take off the blindfold, and you’re greeted with a gorgeous candlelit dinner on the beach with flowers all for you. He purposely picked a secluded spot so that you two can have complete privacy, not wanting any interruptions as you watch the sunset. Although in all honesty, he barely even pays attention to it. His gaze is far too busy being focused on you, his entire world.

IEIRI SHOKO

Shoko throughout her life would sometimes feel left out, the third wheel if you will. With you? She never got that feeling. With you, she felt so seen, so needed, that she was just as important to you as you were to her. She wanted to show you just how much you meant to her, and what better day than on the day of love? I feel like she’s more the homebody type, and in my professional opinion ya don’t have to go out for the day to be special. She wakes you with breakfast in bed, both of your favorite breakfasts on the tray. You two spend the morning in each other’s comforting presence, feeding each other occasionally. You two spend the day watching movies, playing games, spending quality time with one another that you don’t always get to share with your busy schedules. In those moments, nothing else exists. Just you two, and the undying love you have for one another. You two decide to make dinner together, deciding to try a new recipe for the first time. Shoko slips off after you two have finished eating, claiming to need to use the bathroom while you set up the next movie. She returns with her hands behind her back, before revealing to you the gorgeous promise ring she saved her money to buy, symbolizing her love and commitment to you. The funny thing though? You ALSO got promise rings for the two of you. You both laugh, and decide that you two will wear both. A double promise, as you called it. You two end the day all cuddled up after a few hours of love making, talking about anything and everything. After you’ve fallen asleep, Shoko spent some time before falling asleep as well just admiring your beauty, wanting to memorize every feature on your face, wondering how she could’ve ever gotten so lucky.

NANAMI KENTO

Kento always told himself he didn’t want to get a relationship during his sorcerer work. The last thing he wanted was to leave his partner alone if he were to die. So after the Shibuya incident, in my mind he lived so suck it gege, he confessed his feelings for you and gave up his sorcerer work for good in exchange for a happy life with you. You two decided to take a vacation to Malaysia around the time of Valentine’s day, taking a week for yourselves from your ever so busy lives. You had the idea of scouting out locations while there, wanting to find the perfect spot to run away to so you two can truly begin your lives together. On the actual day, Kento does everything in his power to make sure the day is perfect. He treats you to breakfast at a cute little place that was recommended to him by a local, and that’s how the day is spent. Going around and trying all sorts of new things together. Kento normally isn’t one for running around and doing a bunch of things, but with you? That’s another story. He has a smile that only you ever bring to his face as you excitedly pull him into a cute little shop that you two stumbled across. You don’t even have to ask for anything, the second he sees your eyes sparkle as you come across a new item, his card is already out. After a day of exploring, he takes you to a fancy restaurant that was also suggested to him. He listens to you ramble on about some of the stuff you two did that day, and all he can think about is how he’s going to marry you one day and start a family with you.

CHOSO

Choso’s extremely new to a lot of things, dating being one of them. Aside from Yuji, you were one of the best things to walk into his life. He didn’t even know he would ever feel love like this, but here he is, taking notes as he gets a Valentine’s Day 101 lesson from Yuji and Nobara. He’s scared of doing things wrong and leaving you feeling disappointed, so he’s taking all the help he can get. With the help of the two first years, he buys the perfect gifts for you and your favorite flowers. He gets some cooking lessons so he can make you your favorite food, finding it to be more personal than taking you out to eat. Choso just wants to put all his love for you in everything he does for you. I don’t really think he’s much of the type to want to go out where there’s a lot of people, so instead like Shoko, he plans everything indoors. You two play soo many games together, listen to music together, and relish in each other’s company. He tells you to close your eyes, wanting it to be a surprise as he shows you his gifts he thoughtfully picked out. Poor boy is honestly so worried that for some odd reason you would hate them, but is so relieved at how happy you are. You two finish your restful but love filled day cuddled in a pillow fort you two created as you two watch Disney movies. You’ve found that Choso tends to be pretty fascinated by animated movies. While watching Tangled, and seeing Rapunzel and Flynn getting married, he asks about what marriage is exactly. You explain it to him, and he’s silent for a few moments before hugging you closer, the thought of you being his forever makes his heart beat faster. One day, he’s going to ask you to be his wife… after getting a proposal 101 lesson of course.

FUSHIGURO TOJI

Now, I know what you might be thinking, what is Mr. Broke going to do for Valentine’s day?? Hear me out. Toji was good to his wife and loved her literally more than anything. I mean, losing her practically destroyed this man. So I definitely believe if he finds love again, he’s going to do his best with what he has. That being said, he fell for you and truly does love you even if he doesn’t show it the way some of the other’s do. He’s not rolling in cash, so don’t expect fancy dinners or expensive gifts. HOWEVER!! With a bit of cash he had left over from one of the jobs he took that he didn’t use to gamble away, he buys you flowers, a box of chocolates, and a little plush bear. Okay he stole the bear but shhhhh it’s the thought that counts. It’s not much, but there’s just something that doesn’t sit right with him in not doing something for you. He missed you in the morning since you had to leave for an early shift, but when you come home, he’s made a simple home cooked meal for you with a few of your candles lit to really give it that romantic feel. He gives his gifts to you, smiling a bit at the happy expression on your face. He has one more very unexpected thing for you, which is saying a lot with the effort he’s put in that he doesn’t usually do. He gives you a letter, and in said letter he expresses how much he loves you. Toji isn’t very good at expressing his love for you, so he found it easier to just write his thoughts down. He’s a lil spooked when you get all teary eyed, but holds you nonetheless as you two stay like that in comforting silence. After the dishes from dinner are all done, he takes you to bed where he shows you just how much he loves you all night long.