#“actually in canon it states that-” canon is mine now. i do what i want. woof bark. say another word and youre gonna get bited

[crystalkitty1220]

Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN

[watatsumiis]

i think if I have enough confidence to outright lie or have an incorrect detail in a longform fic with enough conviction and/or explanation to go with it. you guys should just not say anything and give me that ok? ok

[sundrop-writes]

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes

Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader

Summary:

While undercover inside the Separatarian Sect, you and Spencer realize something important: you can’t live without each other.

Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader. Co-Workers to Lovers. Fake Dating. Hurt and Comfort. Set during Season 4, Episode 3.

Word Count: 8,200

Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link

THIS IS A RE-POST. This is a fic from my old blog (a blog that was shadowbanned, forcing me to move). This fic is not stolen, it is completely mine, and I am just re-posting it to help people find my new blog, and to make my masterlist complete when I post new fics for this fandom.

Detailed warnings and author’s notes below the cut.

Warnings: Lots of spoilers for the canon episode - so if you haven’t watched Season 4 of Criminal Minds yet, steer clear of this fic for now (especially because watching the episode provides some context for this fic/makes things make more sense); the reader uses she/her pronouns and has the ability to get pregnant (she is not pregnant during the fic and there’s no smut, but due to discussions in the fic, it’s not unreasonable that she could get pregnant); fake dating in the form of a fake marriage - the reader and Spencer pretend to be married under the Christian religion to ‘appeal’ to Cyrus; because of the fake marriage, Spencer uses the term 'my wife’ to refer to the reader; lots of mentions of religion (Christianity), religious extremism, mentions of pedophilia/child brides (in line with the canon episode); mentions of systemic sexism and gender roles enforced by cultures of organised religion and religious extremism; use of y/n and l/n (in this case meaning 'your last name’); the reader pretends to follow the Christian religion while undercover but I never stated if she believes in a less extreme version of these things or not (the reader’s true religious beliefs are never stated); protective!Spencer, possessive!Spencer; mentions of Spencer being taller than the reader (which, again, I think he would be taller than most people) - the reader’s body/body type is not described in any other way; mentions of guns and gun violence (not described in deep detail) - in line with the canon episode; the reader and Spencer fear for their lives; dangerous/live-threatening situations; the reader and Spencer are threatened with a gun; Cyrus is just generally creepy and sexist toward the reader; Spencer is pistol-whipped and the reader is threatened with sexual assault (it does not happen, Spencer protects her); mentions of pregnancy/the reader being pregnant (she is not pregnant during the course of the fic); mentions of the reader being a mother/having kids (Spencer makes up fake kids to sell their fake marriage story); the reader realizes she might actually want to be a mother because of Spencer’s fake kids story; mentions of an explosion (as in the canon); love confessions; angst with a happy ending. Hopefully that is everything.

A/N: The title for this fic comes from a Fall Out Boy song of the same name. The theme/lyrics of the song don’t really fit the fic, but I love the way that this title fits - how everyone in this fic is lying in some way but Spencer is someone with good intentions while lying. Making him the Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes. I love how it fits. I wrote this while suffering with heat exhaustion so idk if it’s good or even makes sense. I rewatched the canon episode and it doesn’t 100% align with what happened in the episode in terms of the timeline and stuff, and I am too tired to rewrite the whole fic to make it align with the episode. So uh - alternative canon? But I really love the basic concepts and I do really love how it turned out. I hope you guys like it too!

...

You thought it would be an easy day. 

Maybe that was foolish on your part. So far, you hadn’t seen a single ‘easy’ day while working with the BAU. Between chasing down scumbags and then reliving every single gory detail while doing the paperwork - none of it was ‘easy’. It was worthy, accomplished work - making the world a safer place to live in. (At least that’s what you told yourself.) But it was never easy. 

There was always someone who made the job easier. Someone who made you smile every single day - especially on days when you didn’t think you were even capable of feeling a tiny shred of joy. Someone who made you feel safe, who you always felt had your back no matter what. So you were glad that he was by your side today, along for the ride. 

“Tell us about Cyrus.” Reid prompted. 

He looked to the woman driving, your new companion for the day - Nancy Lunde, someone who worked with the state department and had set up the interviews with the children at the Separatarian Sect. 

“Benjamin Cyrus. No criminal record. In fact, there’s no record of the guy at all.” Nancy explained. 

“That’s odd.” You commented. “Usually someone being accused of something like this would have some past offenses. Especially because it would give him a reason to move into isolation to continue the criminal pattern of behavior.” 

“Well, I couldn’t find anything on him.” Nancy shrugged. 

“What about the 9-1-1 call?” You asked. 

“A fifteen year old girl called in saying that a man was ‘laying with her’ and claimed it as ‘God’s will’. I believe the ‘he’ referred to is Cyrus.” Nancy explained. “The age fits with Jessica Evanson, but I’ve managed to negotiate interviews with all the children, just to be sure. It wasn’t easy.” 

“They’re incredibly weary of outsiders.” You commented. “Our boss warned you not to identify us as FBI, right?” 

Nancy nodded. “I got you some spare credentials, just in case.” 

She took one of her hands off the wheel and reached into her pocket.

“You’re going to be using your real names. You’re going in as Child Victim Interview Experts working with Child Protective Services. No association with the FBI.” Nancy explained, handing Reid your fake credentials. 

He nodded, inspecting the IDs before handing you yours where you were sitting in the backseat. 

“Oh, before I forget.” You noted, reaching into the pocket of your cardigan. “The rings.” 

You pulled out a small plastic bag that Hotch had given to you before you left. It was a bag containing a fake diamond ring in your size and a fake golden ‘wedding’ band for Spencer. 

Reid reached over the seat to grab his ring from you, and Nancy gave the two of you an odd look. 

“Rings?” She questioned. 

“Fake wedding bands.” You explained. 

“It was our Unit Chief’s idea.” Reid added on. “He believes that presenting us as a ‘godly’ married couple to Cyrus will make him more likely to open up to us. He’s less likely to see us as hostile outsiders if he believes that we share a similar system of beliefs.” 

“It could also have a calming effect on the teenagers we have to interview or the kids there who have had more time to go through indoctrination at the Sect.” You continued to explain. “Even if their parents are hesitant to let the kids speak with us, they may be more willing to have their child speak with us or even leave them alone with us if they believe that we’re fellow Christians, rather than hostile atheists there to poison their children’s minds.” 

Reid nodded at you through the rearview mirror. 

“Make sure you put on the left hand.” He told you. “That’s the position for marriage.” 

You nodded at this. 

You placed the ring in the appropriate position, and you couldn’t help but to take a moment and stare at it. It was jarring to have a wedding ring on - especially with the thought that it represented you being married to Spencer. But you supposed, of all the people to call your husband, he would be one of the best. He was honest, intelligent, kind, and… if you were pressed, you would definitely say he was handsome. 

But you couldn’t get too caught up thinking about all of that. Because it wasn’t real. It was a false projection you were wearing for the benefit of a self inflated sociopath. 

Spencer liked the feeling of the ring. He didn’t take too long to stare at it after he had put it on, because he knew his mind would wander if he did. When Hotch had first proposed the idea of the two of you pretending to be married, Spencer had almost tripped over himself to oppose it - mostly because he didn’t think that he would be able to handle simply pretending to be your husband for the day. It was just too cruel. 

Having something he wanted so badly dangled right in front of him and knowing that it was all just a farce - it bothered him, but he delighted in the play nonetheless. 

When he caught the fake gold glinting in the light, Spencer had to remind himself that it was fake - that you would just be playing his wife for the day. He had to push back any internal glee that he felt at the idea that he got to be ‘taken’ by you while wearing that ring. It wasn’t real. It was just for the day. 

“Isn’t that deceptive?” Nancy asked. “Won’t Cyrus be even more angry if he finds out that it’s not true?” 

“He won’t find out.” You replied confidently. “And besides, we use deception in interrogations all the time. It’s a very basic tactic: align yourself with the suspect. Make them think you share the same beliefs, that you’re on their side.” 

Reid grinned at this. He always loved it when you spoke so confidently. 

… 

“We’re looking for Mr. Benjamin Cyrus.” Nancy announced as the three of you got out of the car. 

“Then you’ve found him.” Cyrus announced confidently. 

He was pretty much what you had expected him to be - dressed informally, slouched over, faking meekness, holding a bible near his chest as though it were a shield. He had planted himself there purposefully, wanting to be the first person to interact with the outsiders as three of you came into the Ranch. 

You hovered back near Spencer, letting Nancy make the first introduction. 

“I’m Nancy Lunde.” She said, giving a small nod toward the man. “We spoke on the phone regarding the allegation.” 

“‘Savages they call us, because our manners differ from theirs.’” Cyrus rhymed off a quote, obviously positioning himself and his group as martyrs being attacked for having ‘different ways’ that the world simply didn’t understand. 

“We didn’t come here to hear you cite scripture, Mr. Cyrus.” Nancy reminded him, hoping to keep the religious zealot on track. 

“Actually, it’s Benjamin Franklin.” Reid corrected her, talking about the quote. 

That did surprise you, but you didn’t find it surprising that Reid knew this fact right off the top of his head. It was just one of the many amazing things about him - his perfect memory and his ability to use it. 

Of course, him saying this immediately drew Cyrus’ attention toward the two of you. So Spencer stepped up to introduce you. 

“Hello, I’m Spencer Reid, and this is my wife, Y/N L/N.” He said motioning toward himself and then to you as he introduced the two of you. Hearing him refer to you as his wife - you hated to say it, but it caused a jolt through your system. Almost as if you had been waiting forever to hear him say those words and hadn’t even known it yourself. “We’re Child Victim Interview Experts, here on behalf of Child Protective Services.” 

Of course, you couldn’t get too caught up in deciphering how those words made you feel, because you had to focus on the task at hand. The job that you were here to do. 

“How far from God’s word must we have strayed for there to be a need to invent a job called ‘Child Victim Interview Expert’.” Cyrus said, his tone even, quiet. 

You knew that covertly, it was his way of saying that the two of you didn’t belong there, because he ran the Ranch with God’s word, so nobody had actually been harmed (in his opinion). He believed that he had done nothing wrong. Obviously, he thought your time and resources were better spent with ‘actual’ victims who didn’t have his power wielded over their lives. 

“I can assure you, Mr. Cyrus, we try to bring God into our work.” You told him, trying to appeal to him. “The children we visit usually need prayer and God’s light the most.” 

Spencer gave you a sideways glance, clearly holding back a grin at how thick you were pouring it on - how much intense, feigned passion you said these words with. 

“Well, I can assure you that a lack of prayer and God’s light is certainly not an issue for the children here.” Cyrus said, giving you a clever little grin. He thought that you would simply interview the children, praise him for what a good job he had done, and then leave. “You can go and see the children whenever you like. They are up at the school, as I indicated in our phone call.” 

Nancy walked toward the school, and you paused before you followed. 

Before you walked off, you looked to Spencer. In a completely silent conversation that only worked so well because the two of you had been in so many tense situations before, thinking around UnSubs and planning miles around them before they could even know it, he gave you a small nod and you instantly knew what it meant. He had established a small bit of trust with Cyrus, so he would stick back and see what else he could get out of the man. 

You nodded back, and then - completely surprising yourself, you leaned in and kissed Spencer on the cheek. You were just playing the part, you told yourself. It’s not that it felt entirely instinctive to say goodbye to him with some kind of affection, like the many hugs you had given him before. It’s not that you felt so entirely scrutinized with Cryus’ piercing eyes on you, and you needed the anchor of Spencer’s touch. 

You were just playing the part. 

Spencer tried not to get caught on being kissed on the cheek like he was some blushing virgin, and instead, focused his attention back on Cyrus instead of watching you walk away. (Even though every single one of his instincts told him that he needed to keep a more careful eye on you because you both had to leave your guns in the car.) 

He took a step closer to where Cyrus was leaning on the concrete, and easily picked a topic of conversation. 

“Solar panels.” Reid said, motioning to the large devices sitting behind Cyrus on the grass. 

“Yes.” Cyrus nodded. “We’re completely self-sufficient here. Food, electricity, water. Benjamin Franklin said ‘God helps those who help themselves’.” He explained. “You look surprised.” 

“No, uh, impressed, actually.” Reid easily lied, trying to appeal to his ego. 

“Thank you.” Cyrus said. “Most men wouldn’t admit that.” 

“Well, I suppose that I’m not like most men.” Reid shrugged in return. 

“How long have you been married?” Cyrus asked, motioning toward Reid’s ‘wedding ring’. 

Reid panicked slightly, knowing that the two of you likely should have coordinated this story during the plane ride to Colorado so that your answers to these simple questions wouldn’t be different. But he just made up an answer and hoped that nobody else would ask you the same question and find out the deception. 

“Three years.” He said. “I’ve been very blessed.” 

He used the language purposefully, knowing that the simple phrase could get him on Cyrus’ good side. That, and he hoped it would draw the attention away from any possible signs of his blatant lie. 

“Your wife is very beautiful.” Cyrus commented. 

He gave a wicked smirk as he said this. It was a simple, fairly ‘innocent’ comment, but it was immediately off-putting to Spencer. It took everything in his body not to glare daggers at Cyrus or throw out some protective comment in return. He could only imagine what was going through Cyrus’ mind as he thought about you, and he hated even imagining it. 

Reid knew that it was a basic logical good, the instinct to protect you because you were his partner on this case and he was supposed to have your back. But it was also something more. Something in every fiber of his being that screamed you were his and no man should ever be thinking of you that way except for him. 

“Has it been a godly union?” 

He was lucky when Cyrus spoke again and distracted him from his mounting rage. 

“We try to be as godly as we can be.” Spencer took the simple, diplomatic answer. 

“Your wife didn’t take your last name.” Cyrus pointed out. 

Nancy had used your name on your false credentials because Hotch had only come up with the fake marriage idea the day before. There hadn’t been time to inform her about it and have ‘Reid’ put on your ID as your ‘married’ name. So he had introduced you by your name to keep everything consistent with the reuse. 

It did make Spencer wonder if you would keep your last name if the two of you ever did get married. It made him almost dizzy, thinking about you as ‘Mrs Reid’. Thinking about your kids having his name. Or your name, if that’s what you wanted. 

But naturally, he pushed past all those thoughts and formed an excuse. 

“Typically, married women aren’t very well perceived in our line of work.” He quickly excused. “She doesn’t even get to wear her ring that often. She couldn’t change her name on paperwork at our office because a working married woman… it’s heavily frowned upon.” 

“Well, I’d have to agree.” Cyrus grunted. “A woman shouldn’t be out working. A woman should be at home raising a family.” 

“I - I suppose you’re right.” Reid agreed through gritted teeth. 

He walked away toward the school before he got too angry again. 

… 

A few hours later, everything had gone to hell. 

Some authority - the police, the military, you didn’t even know - had charged into the Ranch shooting. In response, Cyrus and his followers had come into the school toting large semi-automatics asking you and Spencer if you knew about a raid. 

You didn’t. You wish you had known about a raid. You would have warned Hotch and gotten them to call it off. You certainly would not have been there while it was happening. 

When they had pointed those guns in your face and forced you into the tunnels - it wasn’t very difficult to pretend to be Spencer’s wife then. Cowering in the bunker, confused and scared, you flung your arms around his waist almost instinctively, and he buried his nose in the top of your hair as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders like a shield, promising you that everything was going to be okay. 

Whispered to you like that, coming from him - it was almost easier to believe. Even with the chaos going on around you and the fear pumping through you in response. 

Nancy had run off trying to get them to surrender and did not come back. You had a feeling that you knew what that meant. 

And now, with the kids from the school ‘evacuated’ into the church, you were being held in the cellar at gunpoint. They had forcefully separated you and Spencer, making you sit in chairs at opposite sides of the room.

Spencer was fidgeting. His eyes kept flickering from the door, to you, to the man standing beside you holding the very large gun. 

You knew that you had ugly tear tracks down your face, and oddly enough - you wanted nothing more than to be back in his arms. As you were forced to sit there, just a few feet across the room away from him - you ached for it. 

There was a very large possibility that you were going to die today. And you selfishly needed the comfort of being in the arms of someone familiar - someone safe. Someone you knew would never hurt you. Someone who had made you laugh with dumb science jokes and puns for the last five years that you had worked together with him. 

When Cyrus charged back into the room with two men flanking his sides, you and Spencer stiffened up once again. 

“God will forgive me for what I’m about to do.” Cyrus announced to the room, presenting a handgun from his belt. 

Your insides quaked, and Spencer’s eyes grew wide. 

You couldn’t contain the fearful whimper that erupted from the back of your throat when he raised that gun and placed it near the middle of Spencer’s forehead. You clasped a hand tightly over your mouth to keep yourself from crying out in protest, knowing that would only make things worse. 

“Which one of you is the FBI Agent?” Cyrus asked firmly. 

Which ‘one’? 

So he knew that you were undercover, that you had lied about your job titles - but he thought that only one of you had done so. Where the hell was he getting his information? 

“I - I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Spencer told him quietly, looking him in the eye the entire time. 

You hoped that his stutter could be passed off as nervousness from the gun being pointed in his face, and wouldn’t be pointed to as deception. 

“Which one of you is it?” Cyrus pressed. 

“We are not FBI Agents.” Spencer said, more confidently this time. “We are Child Victim Interview Experts. We were only sent here to ensure the wellbeing of the children. Nothing more, nothing less.” 

Well, that last part wasn’t a lie. 

“You’re lying.” Cyrus told him, entirely confident in this. “God expells those who lie, devils in sheep’s clothing.” 

There was a tense moment, and then Cyrus cocked the gun. 

Spencer didn’t flinch. You resisted the urge to scream. 

“Proverbs 12:22 says: ‘The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth.’” Cyrus said, actually citing scripture this time. 

He was giving Spencer one last chance to tell the truth. As if using the bible verse to say that his punishment would be lesser if he simply told the truth now. 

Spencer didn’t take the bait. 

“I’m not lying.” Spencer said firmly. “What? You think I wouldn’t know if - if my wife was an FBI Agent? This is the woman I wake up next to every single morning, the woman I go to sleep next to every single night, we work together every single day, we-” 

Cyrus interrupted Spencer’s ranting with a sharp hit to the face, pistol whipping him across the cheek. 

This caused Spencer to go flying off the chair, and you couldn’t help when you let out a wounded cry. It took everything in you not to jump out of your own chair and rush to Spencer where he had collapsed onto the ground, clutching his cheek. 

“Someone is going to tell me the truth.” Cyrus said gruffly. 

“It must have been Nancy!” You said, the idea finally popping into your head. 

You seemed to be more clever with the pressure of Spencer’s life being threatened. Cyrus stared you down, turning his attention fully toward you now. You caught Spencer’s eye for a moment and he gave you a small nod - as if to say ‘yes, keep going with that’. 

“The woman we came in with! Nancy!” You reasoned, continuing to point the finger at the woman you had to assume was dead. “We - we just met her today. Our boss introduced us to her, but we had never met before that. If she was FBI, we had no clue. We swear.” 

Cyrus turned to you then, and tightly pressed the barrel of his gun into your forehead. You could feel the imprint of it so tight in your skin that it hurt, and you could only lean away so far before threatening to knock the chair backwards. 

“It’s very convenient to pin this crime on someone who isn’t here.” He grunted at you. 

“It’s the truth.” You sniffled out quietly. 

“Hmm.” Cyrus hummed thoughtfully, and then, much to your surprise, he removed the gun barrel from your forehead. 

You barely had a moment to breathe in relief before he began skimming the gun down your neck, touching the metal whisper-gentle across your bare skin - clearly taunting you. It was something that made your whole body stiff with alarm, and caused Spencer’s eyes to go wide once again.

“Perhaps I should strip you naked to ensure that you’re not wearing a wire.” Cyrus said, teasing the gun along the buttons at the front of your cardigan. 

You held back a sob at the thought of it - at the idea that he could make you do almost anything for the fear of you being shot. Truthfully, you were more afraid of what he might do to Spencer if you didn’t comply, but it was all the same in your mind now. His life was just as valuable as yours, and you would do whatever it took to protect him.

Before Cyrus could take these threats any further, a heroic voice intervened. 

“That’s enough!” Spencer yelled. 

He gathered himself off the floor and oddly enough, none of the men moved to stop him as he came to stand beside Cyrus. Perhaps they didn’t see him as a threat. Perhaps it was because Cyrus didn’t bark any orders at them to stop him. He was entirely unflinching, keeping his focus on you and keeping his gun held between your breasts as Spencer crowded into his personal space, trying to press himself between you and the awful man. 

“We’ve told you everything that we know.” Spencer told him lowly, his voice heaving with well controlled anger. It was something that you had rarely ever heard from him. 

Cyrus kept his eyes locked on you, so Spencer continued. 

“We don’t know anything about the FBI - we have a simple job advocating for children who have been abused. That is it. We came here to investigate a most likely false claim against someone in your community and we truly didn’t mean to get caught up in all of this.” He said firmly, clearly trying to appeal to Cyrus. “So I suggest you get that gun away from my wife before you and I truly have a problem.” 

Spencer’s voice was dark, so thick with rage. More pent up rage than you had ever heard from him when he was talking to any suspect, people who had done the worst of the worst. Something about Cyrus threatening you had truly boiled his insides. 

The way he said the words ‘my wife’ - growling it out like he was a feral animal and this threat to you had activated every single one of his protective instincts. Hearing it made something inside of you yearn for him on such a deep level that you didn’t know was possible. You wanted to feel that kind of protection cast over you every single day. It made you feel invincible, having Spencer watch over you like that. 

Cyrus lowered the gun then, and Spencer grabbed your arm as you dissolved into hysterical tears. Instinctively, he lifted you up into his arms. You thought that you heard Cyrus mumble out ‘my apologies’ as he left the room - but he was barely on your radar. Your entire world became narrowed down to nothing but Spencer, your safety net as he built a wall of protection around you. 

He used his height to block you from seeing anything but him, letting you push your face into his chest as you cried. He wrapped you in his arms once again, letting you feel truly safe for a few moments as you sobbed into the fabric of his sweater. Your arms clutched desperately at his waist, needing to keep a hold on him - needing to ensure that he didn’t leave you. 

“Hey, shh. Shh. It’s okay.” He said, leaving gentle kisses on the top of your forehead and your hair, rubbing across your back with one hand, comforting you in the only way he could in those moments. “It’s gonna be okay.” 

Of course, he wanted to break down too. But he had to be strong for you. 

“Spencer,” You called his name in an utterly wounded voice, pulling away from his chest to look up at him. 

When you saw his injury up close - a sharp, purple-red bruise that was blooming across his cheek, it looked so utterly painful. Your insides ached at the thought that he had taken a blow for you. You hated to imagine what more they could have done to him if they had not believed your lies. 

You instinctively reached a hand up to touch it and he caught your fingers halfway, instead, gently grasping your hand and laying it on his chest. The intimacy felt so oddly rehearsed - so worn in, so ‘normal’. It felt like you had been married to Spencer for years. Like it wasn’t a play at all. 

Your two souls had been calling out to each other for years, just waiting for the dam to break. But you couldn’t quite put it into words - not like that. 

“It’s okay.” He said quietly, knowing you were horrified by the injury. 

He was so gentle, so comforting, so calm. Everything the men pointing guns at you were not. Unlike Cyrus - Spencer Reid was a true blessing from God. 

You couldn’t hold yourself back then. 

You surged up and kissed him, fully embracing his mouth with yours in a kiss. Though it was so sudden, it was something he easily returned. The kiss so full of urgency, so needy, so passionate. Like he was trying to tell you that it was okay, that he would protect you no matter what. 

He would protect you because you belonged to him. 

In those moments, the two of you were basically alone. One of Cryus’ men was guarding the door, watching on boredly. But Cyrus was off in the church, funneling people in to prepare for his ‘loyalty’ test. It didn’t matter if he saw you kissing or not - it wouldn’t have sold the reuse of you being married any better. 

This was just for the two of you. This was comfort. 

When you pulled back from the kiss, Spencer looked stunned, almost as if he couldn’t believe what had happened. You didn’t give him time to question it. 

“Thank you.” You said quietly. 

It was twofold:

Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for giving me comfort. 

Spencer didn’t have too much time to marinate in the meaning of the kiss before Cyrus’ men came back and fetched the two of you, wanting you to observe the loyalty test. 

… 

After the mock poisoning (which Spencer figured out rather quickly, making you admire his cleverness once again), Cyrus kept you and Spencer in the church with a few of his closest, most loyal followers while all of the low level followers dispersed back to their homes. 

You and Spencer were lingering in the back quietly while Cyrus was on the other end of the room, talking to his men about how to proceed. The plans for their ‘final stand’. 

“We need to get some kind of signal to the others.” Spencer whispered quietly. “Maybe they’ll take pity on you and let you go if-” He swallowed sharply, cutting himself off abruptly. Oddly enough, he didn’t want to voice whatever was on his mind. 

“If what?” You probed. You wondered what the hell you could possibly be thinking. 

“If we tell them that you’re pregnant.” He said, whispering so lowly that you almost didn’t catch the words. 

You rolled your eyes sharply at this. 

You had gotten married and had kids all in one day. What a miracle. 

(In those moments, clouded by fear, you couldn’t see it for what it truly was - Spencer blatantly revealing his unconscious desires to have a baby with you.) 

“We could convince them to release you. As a show of good faith. A pregnancy would be good leverage in that. You know how religious people are about fetuses-” Spencer reasoned. 

“Yeah, and what if they give me a test?” You probed, punching a large hole in his logic. “We don’t know what kind of infirmary they have here. They obviously believe in modern technology. What if they want to give me an ultrasound to check on the fetus after the stress of the day? To prove that they did no harm to the precious unborn child,” 

Spencer was easily caught on this point. If they examined you and found that you weren’t pregnant, all the lies would fall apart. 

“Well… what if we tell them that you have a baby at home that you need to get back to?” Spencer reasoned, jumping to the next logical conclusion in his mind. “It’ll likely garner the same level of pity.” 

“Your imaginary sperm is powerful, isn’t it?” You whispered back sharply. Spencer rolled his eyes this time. But he didn’t redact the plan as unreasonable, so you continued on. “Okay, what do I even do when I get out there? I’m not gonna be of any use to the tactical team. We don’t know what Cyrus’ final play is yet.” 

Truthfully, you couldn’t bear to be separated from Spencer. Knowing that he was inside, potentially being beaten up more, potentially being shot and bleeding out from a wound without you knowing - it would kill you with stress. You need to be by his side. You needed to know that he was okay. 

“Has God blessed your union with any children?” Cyrus appeared behind you suddenly. 

You wondered if he had heard you say the word ‘pregnancy’ or if this was just a random topic that had come up in his mind. 

His sudden appearance behind you caused you to whip around and crowd into the comfort of Spencer’s arms again because you were frightened. Naturally, Spencer wrapped his sheltering touch around your shoulders. Your back was gently pressed into Spencer’s front, his arm shielding you protectively as it was wrapped around your chest, holding you with his hand on one of your shoulders, unconsciously stroking his thumb across the fabric of your cardigan. The position had you both facing Cyrus, watching the fan in an offensive way. 

And of course, Spencer didn’t miss a beat. 

“Yes.” Spencer answered easily. “We have two kids at home. A boy and a girl. Iris and Hugo. Iris is almost three years old and Hugo is eleven months. His first birthday is coming up in June.” 

You knew that Spencer could be very good at talking off a suspect’s ear under pressure, but when you heard him rattle off these ‘facts’ so easily, it hit you. 

This wasn’t simply statistics or physiological knowledge - this was a very elaborate backstory for your supposedly real marriage. Perhaps he had thought about all of it on the car ride up (which was odd not to share it with you, in case Cyrus asked you a similar question and your answer didn’t match up with Spencer’s). 

But if you weren’t mistaken, this wasn’t simply a backstory for your fake marriage during the undercover mission. This was a fantasy of his. Those were names he had lovingly chosen for your imaginary children - kids he had dreamed up in his head and wanted to be real. 

Your heart ached at the thought of it. You found yourself missing a set of children that weren’t even real. (And distantly, wanting to jump his bones to make it a reality.)

“Tell me, Mr. Reid, would you find it so shameful for your daughter to marry young?” Cyrus asked. 

You found it odd to hear Cyrus call Spencer ‘Mr. Reid’, but you realized that he hadn’t introduced himself as ‘Doctor’ in this setting. You held your tongue when you felt the need to correct him as you had so many other people, wanting Spencer to receive his proper title. 

Your mind almost couldn’t focus on the question that Cyrus had asked. Of course, he was trying to get Spencer to stroke his ego once again. Basically admitting that the whole reason the two of you had come here was true - he was being vastly inappropriate with a young member of the church, and getting away with it. And he saw nothing wrong with it. 

And he was trying to get an outsider to admit that he saw nothing wrong with it too. 

When there was a moment of silence - Reid obviously torn on how to answer the question, Cyrus continued. 

“Is there really something so wrong with a blooming young woman marrying a man who will protect her under God’s laws?” He probed, his voice so entirely confident. Clearly confident that he was right. 

“Well, I’m not sure if I would let my daughter get married so young.” Reid said, finally speaking up. “I just know that I would want her to marry a man that would protect her, and be the best possible fit for her. Someone who would cherish her and be good to her no matter what.” 

His answer made you swoon. You reached up and gently gripped his forearm in response, giving a light squeeze to show your approval. He leaned in and kissed the back of your head - dizzyingly, you were imagining him walking your imaginary daughter down the aisle before you had even gotten married yourself. 

Maybe it was being so close to death, being threatened in such dangerous territory that was causing your life to accelerate at light speed in your mind. If you were going to lose everything, you might as well enjoy the escapism of a fake life with a beautiful man in your mind instead of being stuck on the heart pounding terror of being held hostage, right? 

Surprisingly, his words drew a smile from Cyrus. 

“You’re a protective father, aren’t you?” Cyrus asked. 

“Of course.” Reid confirmed. 

“I can always admire that in a man.” Cyrus nodded. “A man should always pride himself on protecting his family.” 

There was another moment of pause, and you were hoping that the topic had been dropped completely. 

“Do you have a picture of your children with you?” Cyrus asked. 

You wondered if - in a different version of reality, where you and Spencer really were married, where Hugo and Iris really did exist - if you had a picture of them in your pocket, would Cyrus only be asking this so he could use the picture to taunt the two of you? What other purpose would he have for knowing what your children looked like? 

“Unfortunately, no.” You answered. “I keep my family pictures on my desk. In my office. We - we’ve just been praying to get back to them safely.” 

Cyrus seemed perturbed at you mentioning that you had an office. Something dark flickered over his features for a moment and then disappeared. 

“Well… if it is right, God will grant you that safe passage.” Cyrus said. 

Just when you truly thought the conversation was done, he said something to you that entirely grinded under your skin. 

“I find it entirely odd that a mother of two young children spends her days working a job where she takes care of other people’s children, rather than staying at home with her own youngins where she belongs.” 

He said, using that same entirely confident, righteous tone that he always did. Even though you were not really a working mother, you had a hard time not boiling with anger at the sexism ripe in his statement. 

“How much must you be missing of your sweet angels lives to instead partake in the horrors of devils you shouldn’t have to witness.” 

Of course. 

You had a hard time not rolling your eyes at this or saying something harsh that would set him off. Instead, you reached up to Spencer’s arm around your shoulder, squeezing his fingers, trying to keep your patience.

“I’ll have you know that Y/N is an amazing mother.” Spencer piped up, knowing that Cyrus respected him enough as a man that he wouldn’t beat him simply for speaking up. “Her nurturing and caring makes her infinitely better at her job.” 

Again, you knew that there was so much personal truth in Spencer’s words. He thought that you would make an amazing mother to his children - at least theoretically. He was entirely firm in that conviction. And he thought that your natural caring made you amazing at the job you did as a Profiler. He knew this from the quality of work he witnessed you doing every single day. 

You didn’t know it - but it was just one of the many things that had caused him to fall in love with you. 

Oddly enough, Cyrus’ words prodded at something deep inside of you. It made you imagine a life for yourself where you weren’t spending your days witnessing horrors from unspeakable devils - but instead, at home, looking out for Spencer’s imaginary children. 

You would have said it was the fear of the day, clouding your mind. But maybe it was the clarity of being so close to death that made you realize what - and who - you truly wanted out of life. 

… 

Hours later, after some of the hostages had been released (the ‘non-believers’ who had failed the loyalty test), Cyrus had requested that some food be sent up. Spencer gave you a sharp look when he saw the message written on one of the takeout lids. 

The team would be storming in to end the hold-out at 3am. You had to somehow ensure the safety of the hostages by then. 

Obviously, the fake pregnancy idea was still warping through Spencer’s mind, but you had come up with some much better. 

“Cyrus,” You called out his name gently, getting his attention. “You said that you have a nursery here?” 

It had come up, during his long winded bragging about how perfect the Ranch was. Something about how mothers didn’t have to raise their children alone. The children were raised as more of a ‘group effort’ and women took ‘shifts’ in the nursery, allowing the women to rest or get chores done in the interim. 

“Yes, we do.” He nodded. 

Spencer stared at you with his jaw set, wondering what you were doing but not daring to speak. 

“I - I’ve been missing my children dearly. I was wondering if I could go to your nursery and see if they need any help? It would do my soul good to be around young ones right now. After all the commotion of these days.” You spoke meekly, trying to play the part of the shaken up, dainty woman well. 

Which was too difficult, seeing as you were playing up the fear you had already experienced. 

He grinned. It was a rather menacing smile, and you tried your hardest not to show any further fear, or disgust. 

“That sounds like a splendid idea.” He nodded. “Christopher, why don’t you escort her down to the nursery and then come back? We need you here for our final preparations.” 

You were finally falling to those gender roles that he had been pushing on you since you had arrived. He didn’t suspect a thing. He simply thought that you were a God fearing woman falling to your natural womanly instincts, needing to care for children lest your womb shrivel up and you die. 

Spencer rose from his seat and Cyrus stopped him. 

“Just your wife.” He said, putting a hand in front of Spencer’s chest to stop him. “There are still some things you and I need to discuss. Man to man.” 

You went over to Spencer and didn’t hesitate to plant a kiss firmly on his mouth, which he returned with vigor. This one lasted only a moment - it was something precious for the two of you. You didn’t need to put on some pointed show for the men in the room. 

“It’s okay.” You told Spencer quietly, brushing your fingers gently over his uninjured cheek. 

You could tell that he was dying to ask you what your plan was. But he kept the words trapped in his throat, unable to speak in front of the many temperamental villains lurking about. 

“Come on.” Christopher grunted. 

Spencer gave you a longing look as you left. He didn’t want to think it, but as he watched your figure retreat out the door, he feared that it would be the last time he ever saw you. 

… 

Your plan worked flawlessly. 

Getting to the nursery meant that you had unsupervised access to the women and children, especially away from Cyrus’ prying ears. Because you were a ‘delicate’ woman, nobody suspected you of having ulterior motives. You easily found a crack in Kathy, Jessica’s mother. You spotted her as the one who had made the original 9-1-1 call, wanting to get her daughter away from Cyrus. You convinced her to help you get everyone out, and you felt intense relief when you were met with a familiar face in the cellar as everyone escaped through the tunnels. 

“Where’s Reid?” Morgan easily asked you, glancing behind your shoulder as if waiting for him to appear. 

“He’s still up at the church.” You told him. “I had to separate off to help get the women and children out-” 

“Go on, we have to get you out!” Morgan urged, trying to gently usher you along. 

“We have to go get Reid!” You argued, trying to turn around. 

“Go, go on, I’ll go get Reid!” He told you. 

You were about to argue back, but you were cut off by a scuffle behind you. 

Jessica was yelling about Cyrus - how her mother had betrayed her, tricked her. 

Morgan pushed Kathy toward you and ran off screaming for Jessica. You took Kathy’s arm, gently convincing her that everything was going to be okay as you guided her the rest of the way out. You had to focus on this, convincing yourself that everything was going to be okay. You had to tell yourself that Derek was going to get Spencer out - that they were both going to be okay. 

When you got outside, you were hyper focused on marching away, taking a path away from the church as directed by the officers in charge. You froze in your tracks when you heard it - an earth shattering boom. The ground beneath your feet shook. You felt a puff of hot air swell to touch your back. 

You let go of Kathy’s arm and whipped around, and you couldn’t even pay attention to where she went. You almost thought you heard her weeping, but your mind couldn’t process it as your eyes were glossed in bright orange flame. 

It was the church. 

“Spencer?” You gasped quietly. “Spencer!” 

You couldn’t help it, but you began to run toward it. Your feet carried you faster than you could think, and before you got more than a few feet across the ground, you felt a sharp grip on your upper arm. 

“L/N!” 

Hotch’s voice, sounding far too distant for the position he held right behind you, viciously gripping onto you as you fought against him, trying to get toward the fire - trying to get to Spencer. 

“Hey! Hey! Stop it!” Hotch tried to order you around, tried to get you to stand down. 

He got a hand around your waist, and you continued to kick like a wild horse, fighting against his grip as hot tears poured down your face. 

“He’s in there!” You sobbed. “Spencer is still in there.” 

“Calm. Down.” Hotch ordered sharply. 

You collapsed back into him sobbing, all of the fight leaving your muscles at once. You couldn’t fake the reality in front of you. 

“You running in there and getting hurt isn’t going to change anything.” Hotch told you quietly, a somehow distant murmur into your ear. 

Through the blur of your tears and the sharp orange glow, you saw the shape of two bodies. You heard coughing as someone emerged from the blast, hobbling down the stairs at the front of the church. You forced your eyes open wider, trying to see who it was, and then: 

“Y/N!” Spencer called out your name gruffly through the smoke he had inhaled, and you easily shucked off Hotch’s grip to race up the stairs to get to him. 

He was leaning on Morgan for support and you were worried that he was hurt. But the moment you were close enough, he tore himself away from Morgan and the two of you met in the middle. In a pattern that was easily developing, you fell into the safety of his arms, holding him tight enough to bruise him - never wanting to let go. 

“You’re so stupid, you’re so stupid! Why would you do that to me?” 

You sobbed out, gripping both sides of his face, staring into his eyes, needing the recognition that he was right there, right in front of you. 

He stared back with glassiness - intense fear, adrenaline, and something small that told you he was thankful for you, and needed you now more than ever. 

Of course, your words were simple anger at the situation, not at Spencer himself. The terror of thinking that he was dead still pumping through your veins, causing you to shake. 

“I know.” He said quietly. “I love you.” 

His voice wrapped around the words so tenderly - it was the most sincere declaration you had ever heard from him. As if to say ‘I know how much that scared you. I know what this ordeal has done to us and I only meant it more because of how scared I am’. 

“I love you too.” The words flew from your lips so naturally it hurt. You took a moment to recover, entirely shocked by your own lips. And then, you only found the need to say it growing more inside of you. “Spencer, I love you.” 

You pulled him toward you with the grip you had on his face, and he easily met you in one of the most earth shattering kisses you had ever experienced. 

It was no longer a show, it was no longer about displaying the fake marriage for someone else’s benefit - if it had ever been about that in the first place. It was about the two of you. It was about feeling that comfort, that safety. It was about the fact that your two souls were drawn together since the day you had met. The fact that you had always felt safe with each other. You had always been the other person’s shelter from the storm. 

And you poured every ounce of those feelings into that kiss. 

You combed your fingers through Spencer’s hair, taking a harsh grip on the back of it, holding him there so he couldn’t pull away from your lips. He wrapped his arms around your waist, fisting the back of your sweater. Both of you entirely refused to come up for oxygen, not even caring who saw the epically passionate, public display of your love for each other. 

Unbeknownst to you, Morgan and Hotch exchanged a look with raised brows as it happened. You and Spencer didn’t care. You were barely perceiving the world around you as the two of you kissed. 

“You know if you’re not careful, people are actually gonna think you two are married.” Morgan said, being his usual sarcastic self. 

Rather than pulling away from Spencer’s lips to sass him back - you simply flipped Derek off over Spencer’s shoulder. 

On the ride home, JJ handed Derek five dollars. He had the over/under that the two of you would get together before the end of the year. JJ said that it wouldn’t happen for another five years, at least. Derek handed the fiver to Emily when she reminded him that the ‘fake marriage’ bit had actually been her idea. 

When Emily and JJ relayed the story to Penelope, she squealed so loudly into the phone that JJ dropped it. 

Hotch pulled you aside later and warned you that the fake rings were just cheap costume jewelry that Garcia had gotten and they would tarnish soon if you kept wearing them. He also recommended that you and Spencer put in the paperwork with HR if you were ‘serious’ about the relationship. You knew that it was him wishing the two of you his best. 

A few days later when you came into work and found the HR request for an update of relationship status sitting on your desk, already signed by Spencer, you couldn’t help but to smile.

...

A/N: This is a oneshot, so there will not be a continuation or a sequel to it. If you are going to comment, please comment about the body of work that I have written, rather than asking me to write 'more'. If you want to see more things that I have written about Spencer, feel free to check out my Criminal Minds Masterlist.

[rafecameronssl4t]

All for her || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Summary: canon fic based of s3 ep4

Warnings: swearing other than that, nothing really

Word count: 665

A/n: this actually concerning how much canon fics I’ve written/abt to write but if anyone has any request for anymore canon fics I’m more than happy to do them :)

MASTERLIST

divider by @yoonitos

As you close the front door to Tannyhill, Rafe is on the phone, pacing slightly. "Yeah, they said, um, two days on the transfer," he says," his voice strained with barely concealed tension. "it's in the works though, no worries," he assures Ward, trying to keep his tone steady as he leads you upstairs.

"Yeah, I'm upstairs, why? You said you wanted to talk about something. What's up?" Rafe questions, sitting on the edge of the bed while you settle into an armchair, your eyes on him, concerned. Rafe's expression shifts from curiosity to apprehension as he listens intently to Ward.

A heavy silence fills the room as Rafe's face drops, the weight of Ward's words hitting him hard. "Everything okay?" you ask softly, your concern growing. "Wait, wait, are you being serious?" Rafe's tone hardens, his confusion mirroring your own as you raise an eyebrow.

Pulling his phone away from his ear, Rafe looks at you with a mix of disbelief and anger. "He's giving away the fucking cross," he states, his voice filled with frustration and disbelief. Your lips part in shock. "I was just with you. What changed since then? What are you talking about?" Rafe returns back to the call, trying to piece together the sudden shift.

Rafe's struggle to maintain his composure is evident. You rise from your seat and rub his back gently, hoping to calm him. "Dad, no, no. Dad," Rafe pleads into the phone. "This cross is mine. You're taking it from me," he exclaims, his voice breaking slightly as he places a hand on your thigh for comfort.

"Listen, this is something that I got through my work, and now you're trying to make yourself feel better by giving away my shit?" Rafe's anger bubbles to the surface as he switches to speakerphone so you can hear. "And you didn't even tell me?"

"This is me telling you right now, son," Ward responds, his voice calm and steady, a stark contrast to Rafe's agitation. Rafe throws his head back in disbelief, his hand coming up to his forehead. "We've done some things, Rafe, you and I, all right?" Ward continues, and Rafe lets out a scoff. "Oh my god."

"Things that we need to atone for, and donating this cross, it's a good first step in the right direction," Ward explains, his tone calm. Rafe shakes his head at you, as you sigh knowing he won't understand his dad's reasoning. "I know that in my heart. Okay?" Ward adds. "I don't know. Maybe if Sarah finds out—"

"Sarah? Sarah!" Rafe interrupts furiously, standing up abruptly. "There it is! That's it!" he exclaims, slamming his hand on the dresser repeatedly, causing you to flinch. "There it is, Dad!" he yells into the phone. "Any more of my shit you wanna steal from me to impress Sarah?" he spits out in annoyance. "Who doesn't even give a shit about you?"

"It's Wilmington. It's tomorrow night. Get a pen. I'll give you the cargo information," Ward's voice is stern, leaving no room for argument. Rafe breathes heavily, his frustration evident. "Calm down, Rafe," you say quietly, coming up behind him and hugging him. At your touch and voice, Rafe begins to calm down.

You pull him onto the couch as he lets out a shaky breath, your thumb rubbing circles on his forearm to soothe him. "For the record, this is bullshit. Okay?" Rafe splutters. "This is my thing."

After a few seconds of silence, Rafe's features shift, and he forces a calm demeanor. "But of course, you can count on me," he says, though you can tell he feels betrayed.

Ward sighs in relief on the other end. "Okay, so listen," he begins. Rafe gets up, finding a pen and paper. "One second. Okay, Wilmington. Tomorrow night. Car 750X. Got it," he repeats, scribbling down the information.

A sudden creak from the floorboard makes both of you look toward the door. You and Rafe exchange a knowing look. "Hey, hang on—hang on. One second," Rafe says as you follow him out the room.

"Hello?" you call out as Rafe looks down the stairs. Another creak comes from the room you were just in. Rafe raises an eyebrow at you before heading back to retrieve his phone and continue the call.

"Yeah, from the wharf to the train yard," Rafe continues, his voice fading as he heads downstairs. You remain in the room, sinking back into the armchair and scrolling through your phone, trying to distract yourself.

Suddenly, another creak catches your attention, making you whip your head around. You find yourself face to face with Sarah, her eyes wide with panic. "Sarah..." you gasp, your eyes widening slightly as you take in her distressed appearance. Realization hitting you that she must have overheard the conversation.

"You shouldn't be here. Rafe will go crazy if he finds out you were here—" you begin, your voice urgent. But before you can finish, Sarah lunges forward, grabbing a lamp from the side table and hurling it towards you. Instinctively, you dodge to the side, the lamp crashing against the wall behind you as Sarah bolts from the room.

Heart pounding, you scramble to your feet and chase after her, calling out, "Sarah!" The urgency in your voice is palpable as you race down the stairs, desperately trying to catch up to her before Rafe sees her.

"Sarah!" you call out, your voice echoing through the hallway as you quickly follow her downstairs. Your heart races as you look around, but Rafe is nowhere to be found. Sarah dashes through the parlor, her footsteps quick and frantic, before she sprints out the front door.

You turn the corner sharply, only to collide with a solid form. The impact nearly knocks you off your feet. "Whoa—whoa, babe. What's wrong?" Rafe's concerned voice cuts through the chaos, his hands coming up to steady you, rubbing your arms in an attempt to calm you down.

"Sarah," you manage to gasp, your mind still reeling from the encounter. "What? What about her—" Rafe's eyebrows knit together in confusion, but you cut him off, the urgency clear in your voice. "Sarah was just here. She heard everything."

[yanderes-galore]

Heyy, can I could request a romantic yandere Hazbin Hotel Alastor x darling who is a demon who wants to redeem herself but has a deal with alastor so, she has her soul but being in the hotel cannot do her any harm or yeah? 👀

Sure! Made some tweaks to fit this into canon, Alastor's intention are still unknown towards you. Defaulted to concept as I wasn't sure how you wanted this. Originally didn't read that darling HAD her soul, so this got a bit difficult but I think I've got it.

Yandere! Alastor with Sinner! Darling

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic (Dubious)

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Ownership, Possessive behavior, Violence, Mentions of being a pet, Forced/Toxic partnership.

The only demons who can redeem themselves are known as Sinners.

Power is an important thing in Hell, that's primarily what deals are about here.

Power is what makes the hierarchy and makes other demons, like Overlords, powerful.

Alastor is one of these many Overlords.

He's actually... one of the most feared Overlords.

Based on what we can see in the show, demons would do anything to not go near him.

Alastor has made many deals with demons before.

Which is probably why he's so powerful.

You just so happen to be yet another Sinner he has under his belt.

Be it through gambling or some other desperate reason... you managed to come face to face with Alastor.

"Poor girl... all alone with no one to help you, hm~?"

The Overlord is pleased when he sees you, a desperate soul who needs his help.

Before he helps to pick you up, he offers you a deal.

A deal he's made countless times before.

He'll help you as long as you are indebted in some way to him.

Perhaps he doesn't have your soul, like you said.

Making any sort of deal with an Overlord is bad news.

In this case, instead of your soul, Alastor can settle for something else.

Perhaps he'll find a way to swindle it from you later....

At the time, well, you took it.

When he offered you that deal, you had no other option.

Such a deal made you a pet for the radio demon, one he can call whenever he wishes.

That's the deal... you'll be tied to him one way or another even if he doesn't have your soul.

Unless you want him to cast you out to the Hellhounds and Sharks again, hm~?

Y'know what's worse?

You happen to be his favorite.

"Hey there, darling dear~ We'll be great partners, you'll see!"

That was a long time ago, now.

You aren't sure why Alastor helped you... or why he allowed you to keep your soul for now.

At the time it took some begging.

You had to grovel to get Alastor to let you keep your soul.

Instead he ordered a... partnership instead of your soul.

You were often asked to help him out for tasks, you have for years.

You consider yourself one of the lucky ones.

Lucky because Alastor liked you enough to not leash your soul.

Something about you intrigued him.

One of the tasks you were summoned to help with was Charlie's hotel.

The girl needs STAFF and Alastor is willing to provide.

It unnerved you when Alastor came back to you after being gone for years.

"Darling~! Did you miss me~? We still have a deal, y'know... hope you didn't forget all about me~?"

Alastor's presence always left you uneasy.

Like most other demons, whenever he was in sight you felt your heart nearly stop.

However, Alastor was the closest demon you had to a friend.

So the feeling was usually easy to smother.

"Why are you here?"

"Once again I have a little job for you, sweetheart. Surely you know to listen, right?"

You knew you had to.

This partnership was the only thing keeping Alastor from taking your soul.

You had to help him... if you didn't, he could take your soul as collateral.

"State your order."

"A dear old friend of mine needs help running a certain hotel. She has no STAFF...! So I need you to come and help, my dear girl..."

His voice is a condescending purr, red eyes holding mischief.

He knows you can't refuse.

So with a heavy sigh, you listen to your dear partner....

This is what brings you to the hotel.

Honestly... you don't regret coming here.

Through Alastor you meet Charlie and the others, pitying Husk's position and trying your best to get along.

In your eyes, you originally were unsure on how to feel on demon rehabilitation.

Could... Sinners really be redeemed?

... Could you be redeemed?

You were unsure until Charlie seemed so adamant.

She looks so happy about it... enough to give you hope.

Although hope is a hard thing to keep when Alastor watches your every move.

The Overlord has to keep an extra eye on you for two reasons.

First of all, you're his favorite to toy with.

Second of all... he doesn't have your soul to pull when you 'misbehave'.

Alastor is clever, he knows what you think.

If he's known you for years, he picks up on your little thoughts.

Alastor can probably tell you get along with Charlie.

A little too well, actually.

At first he allows it, it's just some talk between girls....

However, when he realizes you want to be redeemed...

Alastor feels himself twitch a bit.

He curses himself for not taking your soul earlier.

A partnership won't allow him to pull you.

He has to own you completely.

You can notice the deer demon looking on edge.

His eyes keep glaring into you as you work, the grip on his staff unrelenting.

You sense you're walking on thin ice.

You want to be redeemed, theoretically you can.

But a voice nags you from the back of your mind.

Wouldn't that break your deal?

The thought makes you shudder.

You don't doubt Alastor knows about this.

You can tell once he stops looking as stressed as he was... no... in fact he's smug.

You have a feeling you aren't leaving so easily.

Despite this, you're determined, carefully listening to Charlie and participating in every activity.

Unfortunately... Alastor will step in before you can get anywhere.

"Darling~"

Alastor's voice is in its usual purr, entering your hotel room with a grin.

You fear what's coming.

"What is it you want?"

"Oh you know damn well...."

His voice distorts into static, making you freeze.

You've struck a nerve it seems.

Alastor steps closer, leaning on his staff with a glare.

"You think you're a clever girl, don't you?"

"I'm keeping to our deal, Alastor."

You try to lie, but you can't lie to him.

"You know you aren't, darling. I understand if you want to play along with Charlie's little game..."

He grabs your chin, his hold a painful vice.

"But you'll never be redeemed, girl. Not while I'm here. In fact..."

Alastor's other hand taps your chest, grin turning to a scowl for a moment.

"Call me petty... but I own your soul now."

Your jaw drops.

"What!? No, you can't-"

"I can..."

Alastor hums, manifesting a green chain around your neck.

"And I will..."

The moment your partnership breaks off, Alastor is able to claim your soul.

He feels you broke the deal...

Which means you're his now.

"You had a good run, dear... unfortunately you need to learn your place."

You feel yourself collapse on the floor, Alastor yanking the chain with a newfound grin.

"I've been waiting for this, girl..."

He kneels down, his voice an eager whisper.

"I should've taken your soul long ago, then I wouldn't have to deal with all this stress...!"

He pulls you onto your knees, watching you grovel like you did all those years ago.

"Perfect~" He hums, "This is exactly where you belong..."

You go to retort, but Alastor uses your newfound chain to choke you.

"It's best you be a good girl and listen to me now..."

Alastor hisses, pulling you so you look him in the eyes.

"I happen to hate misbehaving pets."

It was inevitable that he'd claim you... now you're rightfully his and will be for years to come... won't you?

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not changing my OCs backstory?

Saw some recent posts about people fighting over RP characters so I thought I'd throw mine in.

I (F25) am in a RP server for peoples OCs. It's a small server for friends or friends-of-friends so everyone is either a friend or an aquaintence.

There's a channel specifically for people to post their OCs to see if anyone wants to RP with them. The posts are basically references with the characters name, appearance, backstory, etc. and a list of things the person wants to RP with them (smut, angst, medieval, coffee shop, roomates, etc.)

Anyways, I started RPing with two other people, Amy (F23) and Jenny (F25) recently and things were going good. We were doing a modern with magic type RP and all of our OCs met each other at a bar.

Eventually as the RP progressed my OC revealed that she thought she was a lesbian and then realized she was bi (they were all sitting at a table together commenting on other people in the bar and who they thought was cute).

Amy suddenly stopped responding to the RP so it was just me and Jenny, and I just figured that Amy was busy with college stuff so I didn't want to bug her about responding.

A few days later I get a DM from Jenny saying that Amy is REALLY uncomfortable with my OCs backstory. I'm of course confused and ask her why Amy didn't just message me. She told me Amy was really upset and didn't want to talk about it. I say "If she doesn't want to talk about it why is she telling you to tell me? If she has a problem she needs to tell me so I can fix it."

About 20 minutes later I get a message from Amy with a list of problems she has with my OC. The list said:

My OC is lesbophobic.

Your OC is saying that being lesbian is a phase (not at all what my OC's dialogue said during the scene, the word "phase" was never once used).

There's not enough lesbian rep in things and you're taking away even more.

You're replacing actual lesbian rep with an inferior straight character (yes, she used the word inferior).

She basically demanded that I change her backstory and make her a lesbian again, or AT LEAST make sure she ends up in a relationship with another woman.

I was pissed.

I replied back and said:

"Please go back and highlight the dialogue line where my OC stated that being a lesbian was a phase, because I searched the word "phase" in our channel and I couldn't find it. That word wasn't even used once during our RP, by any of us.

Also, there's nothing wrong with something being a "phase". People don't get one chance to pick a sexuality or gender and then get stuck with it for the rest of their life. Sometimes it takes people a while to figure themselves out. Sometimes things change.

My OCs sexuality is literally based on my own personal experiences. I thought I was straight, and then I thought I was a lesbian, and now I realize that I'm actually bi. I'm not lesbophobic for changing my mind, that's not what that word means.

If you want more lesbien rep then go make more lesbian characters. I'm not "taking away rep" because it was never there in the first place, and again, my OC is based on my OWN EXPERIENCES, and I as a person do not exist to provide representation. Why is lesbian rep more important than bi rep? I can name multiple, canon lesbian characters but I can only think of one character that canonically likes men and women.

I'm not replacing lesbian relationships with a straight relationship because even if she dated a man she would still be bi, not straight. It's fucking disgusting that you think a relationship or person is "inferior" because they're not the sexuality you want them to be. She's based on me, do you think I'm inferior for something completely out of my control?

I'm not changing shit about her backstory, especially not to coddle the feelings of biphobes."

She responded with a huge rant that I'm not going to post here but the TLDR is "You're lesbophobic and you hate lesbians and you're awful and dangerous and you don't care about good rep fuck you." and then blocked me.

I told Jenny what Amy had said and she said "Idk, it's not really a big deal to change it? It was a small part of her story and it made Amy uncomfortable :/"

So AITA for not changing it?

It IS a small, insignificant part of her story that wouldn't change anything if I removed it but for me it's the principle: I'm tired of bisexual characters (and people!) being treated as lesser or not as good as "real" LGBT+ people/relationships.

Also I'm planning on making comics with my OCs and I make sure that there's at least a few lesbian, gay, trans, etc. characters in each story so that EVERYONE gets rep. Which matters way more to me than "rep" that only like 15 people in a discord server will see.

What are these acronyms?

[millylotus]

I dyed my hair recently so y'all have to suffer through my ideas on if/how the batfam dies their hair

-

Jason:

Ironically in canon he had red hair during his first introduction & dyed it to match Dick as Robin, but that got retconed. I don't really use this but of canon but now I will just for the hell of it.

Jason's hair is like his bio mom Shelia's, a red-ish blonde, kinda strawberry but definitely not. It's a very odd color & recognizable so he starts dyeing it black to avoid suspicion. Post Death & Resurrection he dies it the same shade of black as his mom Catherine's was, refusing to look like the same woman who killed her child.

He bleached his hair once & cursed god, has never done it again.

-

Dick:

Has actually never died his hair, & probably never will, prefers just going wild with the cuts because "It'll just grow back", did once frost the tips but didn't like how it looked & just cut them off

-

Babs:

When she was younger she dyed some strips purple for the hell of it, but slowed down when she became batgirl to try & keep her identities a bit more separate. Nowadays just dies her grey streaks out [they came in early like the rest of her family's] cause she likes having a full head of ginger.

-

Bruce:

Bruce secretly actually being a brunette is a lil headcanon of mine. Like his hair was mainly black but the Kane Brown[& Red but he doesn't have the red undertones] started to shine through once he hit like 30 & now his hair is Black & Black-Brown. He didn't really care to dye it until he started getting greys & decided that just wouldn't do & now his hair is Black-Black.

-

Kate:

Has never dyed her hair in a proper state of mind, but has bleached her hair blonde just to see if she looked like Beth [she does & it freaked her out, so she buzzed it all off]. Now just has her hair cut short & doesn't mind it going gray, does have the iconic red wig that she treats like her baby.

-

Steph:

Was extremely cognizant of her hair as a kid & never dyed it. Mainly cause it was one of her biggest traits & even her dad would notice any changes in it & recognize her on the spot. Now though she like styling it in fun ways & darkened it a bit just to experiment.

-

Cass:

Does actually dye her hair, & it's mainly just darker colors & off-blacks cause she likes how it looks in the light. But she has dyed underneath her hair for a two layer look & that's where she hides the neons & such.

-

Tim:

He dyes his hair, like to a wild degree. All about side identities & gets fully into character, Alvin is a red head/brunette? he's dying his hair. Carolina has dyed blonde hair b/c she had it as a baby & her mom kept dying it blonde even though her hair went brown at 2? Then that's what Tim has to do. Everything is meticulous & his bathroom is a mess. He does under dye his hair a nice red & has the top dyed an auburny brown/red. Sometimes goes blonde for the underlayer.

He's also completely immune to the burn of bleach now.

-

Duke:

Dyes his hair, but not the roots cause he cannot do the burn. He likes to have fun little shapes in his hair, like stars & such. The type of person to use his clippers to shave in shapes on his fade that match the vibe of the color or shapes. Gets away with all this defining stuff because like Cass & Tim he's wearing a full cowl & who's gonna police his swag during the day when he's the only one around.

-

Damian:

Doesn't dye his hair, at all but does like to help his siblings with their hair, mainly Cass, Duke & sometimes Tim, also helps Dick & Steph with new hair cuts. Secretly like it because it's basically dress up, & he's still a kid, & kinda sorta wants a cosmetology degree when he's older.

[kagooleo]

so with confidence I present my rarepair...fluffyriceshipping!

they were originally a joke ship (which was my last chance to get out) but they grew on me more and more throughout last year, and months later they've become my favorite pair to draw! their name was the funniest thing to make of them because i got to joke around with their jpn names

the tl:dr of them is that there's a lot of good drama to make of thirty-somethings with the weight of responsibility of their respective cultures on their shoulders, as well as their personal thoughts of the trainers of their respective regions, all this culminating together to be really compelling for me to develop, so I'll ramble a Whole lot more under the cut about them :D!!

~

ok now that the people that wanted to see more about what i'm crazy about when i'm not online are here you guys better prepare for the worddump lmao

before they meet its postgame and they’re both in their thirties (early to mid), lance post gsc/hgss still upholds his champion position and managing the dragon's den alongside any g-man/undercover rocket work on the side (in workaholic mode), riley post dppt is occasionally battling at the battleground but also holing himself up with patrols on iron island and doing egg research and training his aura (Also in workaholic mode)

i'd say all the work makes byron and roark try to get him a break from all that, convincing him at some point to take a vacation! see the sights my guy you've been workin yourself to the bone

it's canonically shown in hgss that riley does appear as a partner for the battle tower, so at some point he is in johto! the region resonates with his cultural sensibilities so maybe he revisits it again to instead actually relax there.

lance would probably catch his hat flying away when he's visiting elm's lab (a fellow egg researcher) in new bark and riley would have absolutely fell first for him (and i'm a sucker for meet-cutes,,,)

and from there they hit it off! being both skilled trainers in their own right they battle and go out to eat after and talk about their family (clair and the elders, for riley's case his family friends byron and roark), their culture (dragon clans and aura guardians), and then when they talk about their respective trainer kiddos (silver and dawn) something clicks between them (it’s a Really rough snippet but hopefully it’s decent)-

"Do you have any kids? I know the news loves to make up some kind of story about secret love affairs with a random person." the guardian says, awkwardly.

Lance smiles, "Oh, yeah! I have one but he's technically not mine." Riley chokes on his iced tea.

"I'm sorry?" A million thoughts roll through his mind as he processes his words said so matter-of-factly.

"Haha, sorry, sorry, I'm only partly joking."

"E-Elaborate..."

The champion explains the general gist of things as he's met him, Silver, his kid-by-odd-circumstance, was homeless for a while, but was training alongside some other up and coming trainers. Uncovering some Rocket related files, he learns he's the son of the boss of the entire organization, and after some on and off meetings he eventually got him a place to stay at the Dragon's Den, and soon after began living with him at his place when he warmed up to the idea of adoption.

There are times he gets overwhelmed with all that he's been through, and some nights its all too much. But Lance was there with him, stayed with him every step of the way, unlike the one who gave him that abandonment anxiety in the first place.

"He's my kid, not by blood, and maybe not by his family, either. But instead, by his own decision he chose to stay with me. I'd want him to keep the freedom he has now." Lance states, firmly. "And now he's grown up as strong as I believed he could. I'm proud of him, as much as he tends to deny that." Riley senses his draconic aura swell with pride, mixed with a humbling sincerity in his words.

"What about you? Any kids of your own?" the sudden flip of the question surprises the guardian briefly.

"N-Nothing adoptive but…I suppose it's similar, in a way to meeting them as you have."

The guardian's turn, now. Dawn was someone he met when he was training on Iron Island, and also served as a guide to get her through the caverns. When he felt something off in the aura surrounding the area, he eventually learned of Galactic causing the pokemon on the island to feel restless and agitated. With her, they were able to clear the island of their antics and even gifted her a Riolu egg on her journey. From there, he was impressed with how strong she was, and did hear from Cynthia that she raised his present up to evolving her into a Lucario. He couldn't have been happier.

That was the case, until he caught the aftermath of the events of Mt. Coronet.

What Cyrus did, the lengths he'd go to, and dragging the both of them into a mess that could have torn the world apart.

After that, Dawn stayed home for a while. Cynthia put him as a contact for her mom, who was really worried for her. With his aura and her friends, Lucas and Barry, they were a big help for her recovery. And eventually, after a lot of time and work, she became the region's champion. She messages every now and then to him, as processing any trauma is never an easy road, but he realized how lucky she was to have the people she'd met to keep her steady, and knew she'll be alright.

"I...still wish I could've done more for her," Riley says, quieter. "Cynthia told me about what happened in that other world, and it...it was a lot for Dawn, a lot of emotions to help her figure out." he finishes, sheepish.

"…I don't blame you for feeling that way, I wouldn't know what to do in a scenario like that, either." the champion says, unsure too.

"It's amazing, in a way. All these kids going through so much on their own. I'd be proud were it not so scary, realizing how young they are to go through what they have been through."

"There's only so much you really can do, as an adult. I've realized that fact a long time ago." Lance's aura felt oddly melancholic, as bright and pretty as it may appear. "It's either immediate or slow when things change for them, and sometimes you'll have to make a choice on the spot when the time comes for them to decide what they want to do." It sounds like he’s speaking from experience, but the melancholy makes it appear that he's had some regrets.

“I trust in them to find their own path, eventually. When they’re together, those kids are gonna be alright on their own.”

His reassurance helped, even if only by a small amount.

-

I should make some kind of master post about them at some point but WAH god I’m so happy I can actually put them together in pokemon masters, they’ve really grown on me and I’ve developed a lot for the both of them in my free time, but yeah this is the rarepair that’s been on my brain for ages now, a gaze into my goo brain 🤪

[vampire-exgirlfriend]

You guys, what the fuck is up with the increase in stealing and plagiarising in this fandom lately? When did that become a thing that was okay to do?

The first time I was flat out plagiarized was almost four years ago in a different fandom. A well known author in that fandom took the first paragraph of a short one shot, one of the first things I’d ever posted and that I was incredibly proud of, switched a few words, and then used it as the summary for their slightly longer fic. They then went on to steal the premise of my ficlet and just…make it longer. This was brought up in a discord server a friend of mine was in that I wasn’t and the general consensus was “who would believe you? You’re nobody.” So I kept my mouth shut and I deleted my fic because seeing it made me feel like shit. Something similar then happened to a friend of mine with the titles of her fics being stolen, flat out and word for word, for the same characters. And again it was “no one will believe you.”

We shut up. We stuck it out. And then when it kept happening, to us and to others, we left that fandom.

I was so, so excited when HotD aired. I was back in my ASOIAF phase that had never actually ended. It was a new opportunity to make friends with common interests and my writing improved so much because of how passionate about the canon material I was. I have made some of the most incredible friends, like life-long, stay up all night talking, come to my house or let’s hang out when you’re in my state/country kind of friends. It’s pretty amazing. But this fandom is a whole different beast than any other I’ve been involved with. I have no idea if it’s the general age of the fandom, or the lack of prior fandom experience, or what us old people call the “tiktokifcation of fandom.” But it’s different. And while that’s usually a good thing, there are so many times when this has been awful. There is a huge lack of accountability here. People are stealing things. And the weirdest part is, they don’t care! It is plagiarism to have someone else's story opened while you write yours so that you can tone match the other writer. It is plagiarism to take people’s well thought out ideas and then use them beat for beat. I get it, it’s fic, nothing is wholly original, we are going to see idea recycling! That’s just fandom. But to model your entire story off of someone else’s is heinous. And it’s wrong. And this literally just happened to a very good friend of mine. When she mentioned she was uncomfortable with it and had blocked the person who did this, someone she considered a level headed mutual (who has recently admitted to plagiarising someone else themselves, mind you) told her that she was just drama baiting and didn’t have the right to be upset. The same thing happened to me with a now deleted creator who told me that she dragged me in her discord server and that her friends (all big name creators would essentially “black list me” for saying anything).

It’s not dramatic to not be okay with your work being stolen! This is a normal fucking reaction. In trad publishing or academia, this shit gets you banned, expelled, etc. It can ruin your life.

I received a slew of anons recently asking for help with graphic making and editing. And I was so excited about them. That shit is fun for me. We chatted for a while, with them on anon, and that was that. Until I got an anon letting me know that the person I was talking with was someone who had stolen ideas and storylines from me and other creators. So I looked, I asked friends to look, and the consensus was “yeah, this is fucking plagiarism, and it’s weird.” All of the edit stuff she’d asked about was used on an edit that was a direct rip off of my own. But I elected to not make a thing of it, to ignore it, to wash my hands of it because of the weird fucking trend of calling out theivery being labeled as drama baiting. And I didn’t want that, not after I had genuinely made the mistake of thinking that someone had stolen an idea from me when they hadn’t (calm down, we’re really close friends now). This person deleted their old blog and so I thought it was over. And then yesterday I got a dm from this new blog I didn’t even know existed accusing me of sending them harassing anons.

A blog, who had stolen from me and at least four other people, who had reached out to me on anon for help and ideas, that at this point I didn’t even know existed anymore, said they knew I was sending hateful anons accusing them of theft. I wasn’t, of course, because I had no idea they even existed, and it made no sense that I would even know they’d created another blog. I only found out about their new blog when they dm’d me from it. But they had obviously done this to enough people that they were now getting called out on it.

You guys, we have to fucking stop acting like this. This fandom needs to stop stealing from each other and eating our own. And if someone brings up that they’ve had an idea stolen, we need to take them seriously instead of insinuating they’re only attempting to cause drama. Stop sending people unhinged anons because you feel like you’re guilty of lifting from another creator and just work on creating something original. Writing is hard. Giffing and making edits is fucking hard. And no, nothing will ever be 100% original, that’s just impossible at this point, but stop fucking taking things that aren’t yours and claming them as your own. Do better. Grow up.

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Through The Portal: Chapter 5

Series Masterlist

Chapter Summary: Dipper learns more about Bill than what he bargained for. He also gets to know Y/n more than he thought. Stan mulls over his confession. Ford fights his own feelings for Y/n.

Pairing(s): Stan x reader, Ford x reader, Bill x reader, Mabel x friend!reader, Dipper x friend!reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, mentions of torture, PTSD, unrequited love, flashbacks, mentions of hopelessness.

A/N: The events and ideas are based on a theory I have about the Nightmare Realm. This is in no way canonically true, just my theories based on what we canonically know about the Nightmare Realm.

Dipper’s eyes widened at my words as I stated that Stan once lived with me. I no longer wanted to hide my past from the kids anymore, either way, they were going to find out. I had started to grow close with them and I felt terrible about hiding things from them. Having to tip-toe around their questions.

“How is that possible? Y-you look so young!?” Dipper pointed out.

“I may look young, Dipper, but where I was before I came out of the portal, time and gravity had no laws. Anything was possible. I’m actually around the same age as Ford and Stan, believe it or not.”

Dipper sat there with his jaw slacked, his mind filled with questions as they overlapped each other. I knew it was hard for him to wrap his mind around the thought I was the same age as his uncles. He sat there as his thoughts encouraged me to continue.

“After Stan was kicked out, I found him wandering the beach. He told me he was just living in his car and under good conscience I could not let him do that knowing I had a place for him. We grew close quickly. Then, when I got closer to getting what Bill wanted, I started pushing Stan away. Until, one day I was readying the machine for testing and got sucked inside. I had unspoken things I never got to tell Stan, and he did as well. He was angry he had no idea what happened to me.”

I was getting closer and closer to finally having everything I could ever ask for. Once my portal had passed the testing phase, I could finally give Stan everything he could ever want. I worked tirelessly on the machine, time passing as I became unaware of it.

“Y/n?” Stan’s voice echoed through the stairwell of the basement.

“Stan, what is it?”

“I made you dinner, it’s on the table if you want it.”

“Thanks. I’ll be up later to get it.”

“Y/n, what could possibly be so important down there that you can’t even walk up to get food?” Stan’s voice was concerned and worried.

I sigh, and stop what I’m doing. I head to the stairs where Stan is waiting at the top. I give him a soft smile as I make my way up to meet him. He gave a soft smile back as I met him at the landing.

“Okay. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to finish this project in time.”

“It’s okay, toots. I get it, but I want you to take care of yourself too.” Stan’s thumb rubbed my cheek bone gently.

I giggle and lean into his gentle touch. He was always so sweet to me, and I had to confess that I was growing more and more fond of him. Once I was finished with this invention, I wanted to dedicate the rest of my life to being with him.

“Growing close to him, aren’t we?” Bill’s voice echoed through my mind, “would be a shame if anything happened to him, wouldn’t it?”

“You wouldn’t dare!” I thought as Stan and I walked to the table.

“Get back to work, and I won’t hurt him. Besides, what happened to being mine? I don’t like sharing what’s mine!”

“Okay, okay. I’ll get back to work.”

“That’s my good girl.”

“I-I need to get back to work.” I state, grabbing my plate and rushing back downstairs, leaving Stan to wonder what just happened.

I worked harder than ever. Bill, peering over my shoulder now more than ever. He wanted to make sure I finished on time. Finally, the day came to prepare for testing, but something went wrong. I must have miscalculated as the gravity of the portal pulled me in. I gripped onto anything I could hold onto, but it was no use. I slowly slipped into the portal vanishing without a trace. I left Stan with so many questions, and an unspoken confession hanging on his mind.

“S-so Stan never knew what happened to you?” Dipper questioned softly.

I shook my head, “he must have thought I ran out on him. The last conversation I had with him, I bolted back to the basement as quickly as he got me out of there. Bill, he had a tight leash on me…he was obsessed.”

“D-do you know Ford’s connection with Bill?” Dipper asked, looking at a sleeping Ford.

“I don’t, sadly. He never shared that with me. He quickly found out mine, but it was hard to tell the connection he had.”

“Wh-what if we found out? Using this?” Dipper pointed to the helmet he was wearing that was reading his thoughts. 

His thoughts stated that there would be no harm, and we could help better. I took a deep breath and nodded in agreement. There was no harm, and Dipper then could help us defeat him. Dipper took the helmet off his head and walked over to Ford and placed it on Ford’s.

“Just a little peek. What are you hiding about Bill?” Dipper stated as he watched Ford’s thoughts appear on the screens.

Soon Bill’s image popped on the screen. His evil laugh echoed through the room. My body shivered hearing his laugh. I hated him so much, the things he did to me while laughing with that evil laugh of his.

More memories popped up. A new voice, one that belonged with whom I assumed was his assistant, and then Stan’s voice echoed through the room. Then Bill popped up again.

“He would trick or possess anyone,” Ford popped up, then a younger version of Ford popped up, “then it’s a deal, from now to the end of time.” He reached his hand out for a handshake.

Then Bill popped up again, his outstretched hand glowing with blue flames, “just let me into your mind Stanford.”

Their hands connected and shook as Ford spoke, “please, call me a friend.” Ford’s face appeared with Bill’s eyes, their voices intertwined as they laughed. I grew scared, was it possible for Bill to still have access to Ford's mind? “Ford and Bill!?” Dipper questioned in shock.

We turned around as Ford stood up. His eyes weren’t visible to us. I grew terrified as I realized that maybe Bill did still have access to Ford’s mind. Maybe that’s why he refused to erase my memory the other day. I had seeked refuge with someone still close to Bill, and that made me sick to my stomach.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Ford spoke.

Dipper and I slowly back up. Ford takes the helmet off, throwing it on the ground and reveals his shrine of Bill. My eyes prick with tears as I grow terrified.

“Why were you shaking hands with Bill? You said Bill could possess anyone so he could get this!” Dipper grabs the rift, almost dropping it.

“Careful! Hand me the rift. Now boy!” Ford shouts.

I place a protective hand on Dipper’s shoulder as we slowly back up as Ford walks towards us. I was in a state of fear. I felt like the room was slowly morphing around me. Keeping a hand on Dipper kept me somewhat grounded in reality.

“Why are you really scanning my thoughts?” Dipper grabs the memory gun, “are you Bill right now?”

“Now just-just calm down, p…”

“Pine tree! Is that what you were going to call me!?” Dipper kept the memory gun pointed at Ford as we were backed up into the computer screens.

“I was going to say please, kid!”

“Great Uncle Ford told us to protect the rift! Get one step closer and I’ll shoot. I’ll erase you right out of Ford’s head!” Dipper’s voice kept my mind from slipping away from reality. I felt my legs trying to buckle at the thought that Bill could be possessing Ford right now. I wasn’t prepared to face him yet.

“It’s me Dipper! It’s your uncle! Y/n, sweetheart, help me out here?”

“Get out of Ford’s mind you triangular demon!” I screamed, Ford never allied me sweetheart, that was Bill talking, tears streamed down my face slowly as I looked away.

“Trust no one, trust no one. Trust..” Dipper heard my fear, and started to pull the trigger.

“Hand it to me!”

Dipper pulled the trigger of the memory gun. The beam bounced around the room, as we all ducked. My legs gave out as I no longer felt like I had a grip on reality. Ford picked Dipper up by his vest and adjusted his glasses. It was truly Ford standing there. It was too late for my mind to rationalize that now.

The world around me was morphing. The room slowly turned into the Nightmare realm as I slowly began to hear that evil laugh. I covered my ears as tears streamed down my face. I felt a pair of arms lift me up gently and Ford’s calming voice spoke.

“Bill’s gone. He can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe with me dear.”

I started to calm down as my eyes opened slowly. I was no longer in the basement. I was in the room I had been staying in. Both Ford and Stan were standing there looking concerned. My eyes were still wet with tears as I slowly realized where I was.

“Hey ya, toots.” Stan spoke softly as my eyes landed on him.

Ford’s gaze turned from me to Stan as he spoke, “she’s been through a lot when she was in that portal, Stanley. This was the worst state I’ve seen her in.”

“Are you two going to tell me, or am I gonna be left in the dark here?” Stan looked at Ford with a stern look.

“She went through a lot that has caused trauma, post traumatic stress if you will. Her state of mind is always so fragile afterwards. The only way I’ve been able to get her out is to whisper that he’s gone, and she is safe.” Ford explained.

Stan came and sat down next to me, pulling me close, “I’m so sorry. I had no idea you had really been through so much.”

I curled into Stan, wanting anything to keep my mind from slipping back again. He cradled me gently, holding me there for as long as I needed him to. I had never realized the effect Bill truly had on me, but being in Stan’s arms made me feel a comfort I hadn’t known for a very long time.

“Th-thank you. Both of you.” I finally spoke up, my voice soft and hoarse. I must have been screaming.

“No need, toots. I’ve got you. I’ll always have you. No matter what.” I felt comforted by his words, but what he said next had my mind whirling, “I love you Y/n.”

[variousqueerthings]

so the thing is, back when i first watched s3 of elementary i was not a fan of joan coming to this moment of "oh maybe i should break up with my stable, attractive, nice, charming boyfriend" only for him to immediately die, because it felt like a cop-out -- that she'd almost come to some kind of moment in figuring herself out, but now she'd be regressing into "oh well, i can't have romantic relationships because it's dangerous, not because i don't want them," there will forever be a tinge of something in her relationship with andrew now, even though she was literally in the process of breaking up with him because it wasn't doing anything for her. a certain rose tint over what was actually happening, which was that she wasn't into the idea of the relationship, or indeed, any romantic relationship

however this time around i'm more into it, because this time i'm suuuuch a fan of the continuous push and pull of introspection and refusal to introspect that exist in both sherlock and joan -- getting the emotional truth out of either of them is like pulling fucking teeth!

the fact that the "aftermath episode" of her bf getting murdered in which joan is steadfastly refusing to Feel Her Feelings is the same episode as the sherlock-and-marcus excursion, in which marcus bell is telling sherlock over and over "call me marcus" and sherlock's grimace makes it clear that too much vulnerability feels like getting stabbed, something he's only allowed five times it seems:

two are with people who are locked up (jamie and abigail, although the latter has some serious extenuating circumstances)

one is dead (alistair, and even then i feel like alistair never knew how much he meant to sherlock)

one is on the run from the law atm (kitty, although i know she works that out)

and joan

(and arguably mycroft, but that's slightly different, they're siblings, being a sibling is smthinsmthin)

and even with them -- with the exception of joan and previously jamie -- he is oh so very careful about how much of himself he shows

it's such a fascinating double-up episode exploring their attitudes towards relationships (the fact that jamie makes a form of appearance and it's via writing a letter to joan!!!!) (also ofc sherlock calls him marcus by the end)

and now back to joan, who is ostensibly much more "adjusted" to living a conventional life, after all she's prepped for conventional since she was a kid! except she really isn't, is she? she's canonically trying to fulfill some assumed goal of normalcy (stated to be expected of her by her mother/upbringing), and she's fighting against it every step of the way. she doesn't do close friendships really (she tried, and she sucked at it until she started meeting people more like sherlock, and then it's a little closer to the way he does "friendships" that is, we create a wide network of people, but we don't have to know that much about each other beyond what we need to support one another), and she certainly doesn't do romance (or, she tries for a bit, but fails over and over) and the entire time she's insistently going "sherlock you need support to figure yourself out, you need some help to stay sober, if you want to talk..."

her whole Thing is that she's very polite and charming, so of course she's not like her standoffish abrasive partner, sherlock, she's the "Nomal One" who's so well-adjusted, except when this life forces her to make decisions beyond her control

and now going "well, i'm dangerous to get close to, so i may as well not try anymore" is another wonderful way to avoid thinking about what she wants. she doesn't have any choices you see, it's simply the way things have to be (oh noooo). anyway this interaction suddenly happens halfway through the episode:

joan: you know i pulled away from you last year because uh… i felt myself sucked into this world that you built. i wanted something normal. something that was mine. sherlock: there's nothing wrong with that. you have a right to your own space, physically and mentally joan: im not sure that i do. i don't think i can keep our work and my private life separate. it just doesn't seem possible. but you already know that, i mean it's part of the reason you life the way that you do sherlock: yes but my choices dont have to be your choices watson joan: it might be better if they were. andrew would have been better off

see, andrew would have been better off, that's what the problem was, suuuuuuure. girl you were in the middle of dumping him when he was murdered, stop avoiding the real issue here! you shouldn't not-be-dating because of The Work, you should be not dating because you... don't want to. you've got to admit that you like the world you were getting sucked into. do it!

(once she's made the change to wearing suits, we know she's started to sort herself out, it's coming, she'll get there)

end of the episode:

joan: i feel... ok. i feel clear about something: our work, what we do... it's not just a job now, it's who i am. i'm a detective, i'm ready to embrace that. i live in this world - your world - and i probably will for the rest of my life sherlock: it isn't my world. it's our world joan: i understand that now. i accept it, i know what it means sherlock: and what does it mean? joan: it means that... it's ridiculous for me to think that... i can have a normal life. i'm not gonna do that anymore.

joan i want to study you like a bug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(but also, youknow, if it's getting her there, then let her think it's the detective work enacting upon her life like an unstoppable force that she must stop fighting and accept the inevitability of. youknow. that's an aromantic way of looking at things too. can't do romance, oh so unfortunate, but The Work!!!!!!!!!)

[blueysky12]

I want to say this and get this off my chest. Sakura fans, Hinata fans, Sasusaku fans, and Naruhina fans, this post is not for you so if you’re going to say anything rude don’t read this post.

I wanted to pointed out some things about Sakura and Hinata especially their fandom

Here we got this(not mine btw) What? Did this person ever watched the anime or read the manga at all? I don’t think we never had a canon reason why Sakura became a kunoichi/Ninja nor it was stated why she became one. Hinata had a canon reason I believe, She was a force to become a ninja or something like that but I guess some Sakura fans think Hinata became a ninja to get Naruto to notice her.

Apparently Hinata can’t cry because her husband is never home? Kushina and Minato died for their child and I don’t know how Mito died because I haven’t watched Naruto in a long time but I do have the manga but not the whole collection yet. I mean wouldn’t you be sad and crying that your husband is never home with you and your kids.

Sarada was being rude because she asked a question about her mom marriage?.. Never knew it was rude to ask your mom or dad about their marriage/relationship. Sarada does have a right to ask Sakura about her marriage with Sasuke, Sarada hasn’t seen her dad for years.

Now we’re fighting who’s the best mother now? My personal opinion who are the best mothers are kushina and Mikoto. They actually care for their kids and died for them.

The parents in boruto:

I might get hate for this but Hinata, Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke are all terrible parents. Sasuke and Naruto are both absent for their kids and Sakura and Hinata are literally ok with them being absent for their kids. Whenever their kids say about how they feel and wish their dads were their for them, Hinata and Sakura are like “He has a lot of work or “He has been oh his mission”. It’s also fucking funny how people call naruto a terrible dad for missing out boruto birthday and tried to attend his himawari birthday but failed but Sasuke has missed tons of sarada birthdays and people are like he’s hot or a better dad then naruto? I guess a dad who misses tons of his daughter birthdays is better than a dad who misses one his kids birthday and tried to attend his other one.

Naruto the last: I fucking hate this movie and wish to burn it. SP turned Naruto into a complete dumbass, sure naruto was dumb but not completely actually dumb like goku who doesn’t know what a kiss is. It’s funny how SP took naruto and sasuke bonds and give it ti naruto and hinata. Also why is hinata Charka Is purple in the movie? Oh yeah SP took it from sasuke and gave it hinata. It’s funny how they made this movie just for naruto to fall in love with hinata because they were no evidence of him falling in love with hinata. “But Naruto saved her” yes he did but does that mean he loves her, just because a male character saves a female character doesn’t mean he’s in love with her. Sorry to say this but if you get jealous of your crush wearing a scarf from his dead mother which is a memory to them, then you’re nothing but an asshole for that. I hate fucking SP for changing the personality on some of the characters on this fanfic movie.

Sakura: look I seen some people claim that Sakura can madara, obito, naruto, Konan, itachi, sasuke, karin, and others characters and I want to know give me a explanation of how can she defeat this characters? Yes she is strong but does that mean she can beat everyone, no. Madara can easily beat Sakura probably in like a second or minute, Madara is more stronger than Sakura. Also explain to me how can she defeat Karin who was long ass uzumaki chains and Konan who has millions or thousands of paper bombs, so how the fuck can she handle those. Also some Sakura fans are sensitive if you criticize her, if you say something about her then the Sakura fans will attack them, same for hinata fans they do the same thing of what Sakura fans do. It’s funny whenever someone calls hinata pretty or another female character pretty then some Sakura fans are like “nO sAkUrA iS OnLy pReTTy!!” I guess we can’t call other female pretty other than Sakura.

Sasusaku and Naruhina: I sometimes see on twitter about who’s the better ship sasusaku or naruhina and I will say this, they are both terrible ships/couples. They shouldn’t all have been single because sasuke has never shown any love interest in Sakura and girls. Yes they did have moments together but does that mean he loves her? No. He did care for Sakura in og Naruto but did sasuke love her? No he cares her because she’s their teammate so why are some ss fans acting sasuke loves her because he cares for her as a teammate. Almost the same for Naruhina. Naruto ignores her for years but out of nowhere they married? I mean sasuke and Naruto doesn’t even look happy with their wives. Naruto with sasuke he has a big smile but Naruto with hinata it looks like he has a polite smile where he’s forced to take a picture with his family. Sasuke doesn’t look happy around sakura, he just looks annoyed around her. Also what fucking annoys me that I sometimes see some sasusaku fans compare Sasuke and Sakura to Obamitsu(Obanai x Mitsuri) relationship. Really, you’re really comparing a toxic relationship to a healthy relationship? Let me tell you how sasusaku is nothing like Obamitsu

Sakura: was obsessed with sasuke for years and chases after him.

Misturi: wasn’t obsessed with obanai and didn’t chase him and cares for his feelings and wishes.

Sasuke: doesn’t have a shit about Sakura, tried to kill 3 times, abandoned his family for 13 years, doesn’t know he had a daughter, doesn’t visit his family, looks uncomfortable and annoyed with Sakura.

Obanai: cares for misturi, didn’t try to kill her, didn’t abandon her, looks comfortable and happy around mitsuri.

So explain to me how is sasusaku is like Obamitsu. I bet Sasusaku fans compare them to obamitsu is because

Sakura and Mitsuri: Both have pink hair, strong, both has green eyes, both has a crush on black hair guys.

Sasuke and Obanai: Both has black hair, strong, both has snakes.

Also mitsuri goal didn’t revolve around obanai. But Sakura goal lead to revolve Sasuke.

It’s also hilarious how people will shit on hinata for stalking Naruto and losing fights while Sakura did the same thing as hinata.

That’s all for today. You can always correct me

[darlingseraa]

GUYS I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE TO HAVE NOTICED, RIGHT ???

Ok so, I had this epiphany the other day and wanted to share it, but like, I forgor because if I don't do something I think of immediately in the moment, then I forget to do it. BUT, here we are.

I'm just gonna mark this down as a huge spoiler for The Legend of Zelda : Tears of the Kingdom, so if y'all don't want to be spoiled on some (albeit small) details from the game's canon, please do move on lol.

Okay so, as I was rewatching the cutscenes in Tears of the Kingdom the other day, I noticed that both Rauru and Mineru have this tear-shaped white mark on the bridge of their nose. Quite innocent, right? Maybe just a Zonai trait?

But then– then I realized they also have a third eye. On their foreheads.

Now, what really baffles me is, if you look closely at these screenshots (I believe Rauru's is taken from the official Collector's Edition Artbook, and Mineru's is straight from the game itself), then you'll also realize that both Rauru and Mineru's third eye have exactly three lashes.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, hear me out.

You know what other "race" in Hyrule displays these traits or make use of that sort of symbolism?

Yeah.

The Sheikah.

They're also the only "race" in Hyrule that doesn't appear in the flashbacks where we see all the Sages.

Now, it can and will certainly be argued that the Sheikah are not a seperate race from the Hylians and yeah, I completely agree with that (it's even stated in game in the profiles of the Sheikah characters, like Paya or Impa, that they are "Hylian (Sheikah)"). In a sense, even if they are the same race, they still belong to a different people or culture than the rest of the Hylian characters, and can therefore be considered "seperate". It was the case in Ocarina of Time where the Six Sages included both a Hylian (Zelda herself) and a Sheikah (Impa, as the Sage of Shadows, I believe).

So why not include a Sage who was part of the Sheikah tribe, like Nintendo did in Ocarina of Time?

Sure, I'm going off a super subtle detail here, but I have a theory and I will die on this hill if I must : I think the Zonai were actually the ancestors of the Sheikah tribe (and of the Royal Family of Hyrule, as Sonia mentions a "blood connection" between her and Zelda, as well as the fact that she sensed both her power over Time and Rauru's power over Light within Zelda).

Now, as I said, this theory of mine is based off a few small details, as well as off of the absence of the Sheikah in the distant past of Tears of the Kingdom. However, even if Nintendo haven't done this on purpose and the marks on Rauru and Mineru's noses are only meant to be decorative, I still think there's something there that we're just not seeing.

Either the Zonai are meant to be part of the Sheikah tribe's ancestry (which would, in turn, explain why the tribe has always been close to the Royal Family as they share common ancestors in both Hylians and Zonai), or the Sheikah were just like "Oh hey, that's a really cool idea for a logo. Wanna make that our tribe's symbol??" and their leader at the time was like "Yeah, let's go boooiiiiis" and that's that.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Sorry for the long post! I just absolutely had to share. I can't be the only one to have seen this detail, right???

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I hope I'm not being rude, this ask also isn't intended as a call out for anyone. As much as I'll be happy if you'd willing to answer, if my ask somehow make you uncomfortable, please feel free to ignore it.

Here's my question :

I've been seeing many post saying that Adrien end up being Marinette' trophy boyfriend instead of proper boyfriend and at the end of the final, Marinette's fight against Gabriel isn't just simply good vs evil rather it's a fight of Adrien's "ownership" so to speak.

I want to ask your opinion about it, especially about the former. I'm personally conflicted about the trophy boyfriend thing because the urban dictionary define it as "A boyfriend that a girl is proud of being with." Which more like what Chloe did at s1, but at the same time it does feel fitting in a way since Marinette do get Adrrien as a trophy for "winning" against Gabriel. Either way it just feels like an objectification and it doesn't seems like something good to show in a show with kids as the target audience, yet I do feels like Marinette's love for Adrien is so shallow that her objectified him like that just make senses for her character.

So, what do you think?

You're not being rude at all! As long as an ask doesn't use names or otherwise make it easy to find the source of the question, I'm cool with it. I don't even mind if it's something uncomfortable, though I will do my best to state my expertise (or lack there of) on those. I think it's really important to be willing to acknowledge your ignorance. No one can know or even be informed on everything.

On to the question.

To start, let's actually define "trophy boyfriend" because the definition you gave - a boyfriend that a girl is proud of being with - is not the one that I would use. It's way too kind!

"Trophy boyfriend" is just a male variant of the term "trophy wife" or "trophy girlfriend." I'm gonna be a little lazy here and just have wikipedia define that one for me as their definition accurately reflects the way this terms is generally used:

A trophy wife is a wife who is regarded as a status symbol for the husband. The term is often used in a derogatory or disparaging way, implying that the wife in question has little personal merit besides her physical attractiveness, requires substantial expense for maintaining her appearance, is often unintelligent or unsophisticated, does very little of substance beyond remaining attractive, and is in some ways synonymous with the term gold digger.

When someone calls Adrien a "trophy boyfriend," they're saying that he's just there to be Marinette's pretty arm candy who supports her unconditionally while requiring nothing from her. A fully one way relationship that's all take and no give.

Unfortunately, canon does seem to be going this way.

Season five was the season which saw Gabriel's slow, agonizing death and final... defeat is too strong a word, so let's just go with reveal. It also saw the end of any hope for Emilie to be revived, assuming that wasn't her at the end, which does seem to be the case. We also saw Nathalie slowly wasting away, triggering all of Adrien's trauma from losing his mother. In other words, this season was all about Adrien losing or fearing the loss of every adult that he has ever loved, none of whom he even got to say "goodbye" to even though they all knew that they were dying.

So it makes perfect sense that Adrienette's big couple conflict was Marinette getting over her trauma and being able to tell Adrien that she loved him! She was absolutely the one who needed unconditional love and support this season and it was so nice to see Adrien giving that to her by laying his own needs to the side since he knew that she needed more support right now.

To be clear, that was sarcasm.

Marinette was an awful, selfish girlfriend this season. Yes, she doesn't know the full extent of what's going on until we get to the final, but in Passion (S5E6) we get this:

Adrien: Marinette? Marinette: Adri-mine! I mean, Adri-fine! No! I mean, you're not mine and you're not fine, I mean, you are fine. (gasps) Adrien, is something wrong? Adrien: No, no, everything's fine... no, everything's not fine. Not fine at all. Somebody I care about is sick and... there's nothing I can do. I feel completely hopeless.

Gabriel then akumatizes Nathalie, leading to a fight that ends with Marinette seeing just how sick Nathalie is. All this means that, by the end of Passion, Marinette is fully aware that Adrien is really struggling with Nathalie's condition and just how bad Nathalie's condition, so it makes perfect sense that the episode ends with Marinette and Alya talking about... how thirsty Marinette is for Chat Noir.

Marinette: You should've seen him! He was so... (growls like a cat) in his cute red suit with black spots. Can you believe it? I asked him out to the movies and I didn't even stammer! True, the timing was bad, but still, everything is so easy with Cat Noir, I can tell him everything I never had the courage to tell Adrien.

Marinette, sweetie, I know that you're going through some stuff, but you're better than this! You've always been shown to care about others! I just don't believe that you wouldn't at least comment on how sick Nathalie is, which really is all that this scene needs because I don't expect Marinette to have no wants or needs outside of supporting Adrien anymore than I expect the opposite.

Marinette can thirst all she wants, especially since she's not dating Adrien yet. Just let her acknowledge that this is who Adrien must have been talking about earlier! Instead, she says nothing, forgetting about Adrien's struggles and not informing his other friends of what's going on, leaving Adrien to basically suffer alone as the Nathalie issue will continue to come up on his end, but he never again reaches out for support from others.

Remember how the NYC special saw Marinette and co protesting Adrien not being allowed to go on a school field trip? And how The Bubbler saw Nino trying to organize a birthday party for his best bro? And how Reverser saw Marinette pairing up Marc and Nathaniel into the dream comic book team? You ever look back on all that and wonder what happened to these characters wanting to love and support each other, even if their attempts where sometimes a little misguided?

Ever since the start of season four, loving and supporting each other has gone out the window. If it's not about shipping Adrienette, then no one cares even though Adrienette was totally one sided for most of the show. First it was only on Marinette, then it was only on Adrien, and it only became mutual in the episode where they... got together? Kind of? Seriously, when did they actually start dating? The second half of Kwami's choice sees Marinette say this:

Alya: Then, how did we go from “I’m pathetic and I’ll never love again” to “Yay! I’m going out with Adrien”? Marinette: I’m not going out with Adrien…

But then the very next episode starts with Chat Noir talking about his girlfriend! When did that transition occur? For a season that's all about Adrienette getting together, it's kinda funny that we never technically see them get together. It's also kinda sad that them getting together was the result of Adrien once again not taking Marinette's "no" at face value... I know it's a romcom trope, but writers, please, can we not use it in stuff aimed at little kids? Plus haven't we mostly agreed that it's a bad, lazy, overused trope? Does anyone actually like it?

This is getting long, so I'll just give some final thoughts and call it a day.

A relationship starting off of shallow feelings is totally fine and normal. Outside of your family, that's how most relationships start. You meet someone with similar interest or whose vibes you like or who is taking the same class as you. You start talking and get to know each other, which can lead to a deeper relationship in the form of a friendship or a romance, which is basically a friendship with bonus features.

The issue with the love square is that the writers are absolutely botching the "deepening relationship" part of the equation. They're not letting Marinette support Adrien or learn about his struggles or even acknowledge the struggles that she does know about, which makes her come across as ridiculously selfish, a terrible lead in to a final where she now has knowledge that could destroy him. Most of the audience doesn't trust her to tell him about this knowledge because of course they don't!

As always, I lay the blame for this at the feet of the writers because so much of Marinette's bad behavior and issues make no sense when we look at her previous writing. She's never been the best at emotional intelligence, but she has always tried to help others, a thing that the show somehow acknowledges during her fight with Gabriel, leading to his win, but doesn't in acknowledge in Marinette's own romantic relationship. Of course, that would require the writers to see Marinette's season five behavior as a flaw and I don't think that they do, which is why I blame them and not her. I have no issue writing her - or reading things that write her - as better than this.

[evelhak]

I’m curious about a few: Propinquity, Anem and Bitchberg (a great name, lol)

Well, you've already read about Bitchberg by now from the previous ask. :D

Lol, I actually winced a little when I saw you asked about "Propinquity" since it's the current working title of my Akashi centric fic, and I know you don't find him that interesting. It's still just a bunch of "notes" (=bits of monologue and dialogue that come to me and I have to write down so I won't forget). I haven't actively started this fic yet, since I can't really write multiple projects at the same time. I will probably have to finish another shorter fic after The Luminous Things, before I get to this one.

I know the opening lines, though:

Winning is like breathing. Sometimes I wake up, gasping for air, but my lungs seem to have fallen into a partial state of paralysis.

Or something fairly close to that. The idea has been in my head for a long time, because I really enjoy digging up ignored dimensions that kind of naturally follow from whatever is going on in canon.

There is of course one thing in this fic that could interest you: The main love interest is an OC. :) You know some things about Azumi already. Here's a snippet that will probably serve as her introduction in the fic:

I absolutely pretended to be the empress of this micro-utopia, growing up. Not because it was mine to conquer, or control. Because it was mine to know. To pick apart. Explore, taste, and merge with. A little pocket of wonder in this huge city, a bubble with its own rules. That's what I came to realise pretty soon, anyway. About the world. How different, how illogical and ultimately unsatisfying it was, compared to my shrine, my home, my own ecosystem, my island of undisturbed ground. It frustrates me that the rest of the world doesn't know how to do it. Live and let live. Give and take. Circle of life. A system that works. Because I was born into it. An heir to it. Happiness.

Micro-utopias are a huge element in my whole fic series as it progresses, and there are several kinds of them, Azumi's home life being its own example. Utopia is generally something I'm really interested to write about, especially because a lot of people claim you can't write interesting utopia without making it dystopia in the end, and I very much disagree with that, as people are always imperfect, so you don't need to add any intentionally awful circumstances for a story to have conflict, if you're writing believable people. For me, the key to what makes the most out of utopia is to centre it around whose utopia it is and why. This got slightly off topic, these are just themes I really like exploring and since my fics are my playground, I definitely use them for exploration of things I might want to write later in a more polished form in my original fiction.

The working title "Propinquity" came while I was writing a chapter in The Luminous Things where Kagami ends up lost in Kyoto (it's complicated) and spends the night in Azumi's place, where he has many enlightening conversations with Akashi. (Azumi and Akashi are already together in my main fic timeline, their own fic will cover how they got together, among other things.)

Here's a snippet from the chapter also titled "Propinquity", which I haven't yet posted anywhere, so things might still change a little, but for now, Akashi muses something like this in it:

"[Propinquity] is the central theme of this shrine. Things develop, and change, and prosper in propinquity. It rings true, doesn’t it? Right things, wrong things… so it really matters what you surround yourself with. It’s not enough to know and think. You have to see, and taste, and touch… A plant wouldn’t grow from the understanding that it needs water, if it never got it. It would still die from poison, no matter how informed it was. Azumi knew all of this, so bone deep. That’s why she was disappointed with the world. That’s why she retreated back to her paradise. I think that’s what caught my attention at first. How she had a physical place to go to when she needed to get away."

I probably would not have developed any need to write a story about Akashi's love life on my own. (Well, it's not all there is to it, but it is a how-they-get-together type of story). It was the influence of my ex, who's a big Akashi fan, and as I have probably said before, Azumi was originally her OC that we worked on together a lot. Eventually I grew attached to Akashi and Azumi together, and now I have my own version of the story.

I don't think I actually read any Akashi x OC fics myself, but my ex read them and complained about them, usually, and I picked up on two pretty common patterns, which I didn't want to do: I didn't want the OC to be 1) poor, or 2) have a similar family dynamic and childhood trauma as Akashi. This is because I wasn't interested in dealing with the power imbalance that tends to come with very different socioeconomic standing, and I also didn't want to write a relationship where people get stuck in validating each other's trauma, and it takes them a long time to grow beyond that phase because their relationship is centred around how similar their experiences are. I wanted to hit that sweet spot which I like the most, a relationship that centres around growth, having enough common ground, and being inspired by things about the other that you've never experienced before, or even believed really exists in the world. The kind of relationship that makes you feel that you want to fill your own gaps, and a key factor in that is the proximity, or, propinquity to a person you can rely on, because they don't have the same weaknesses as you. I just really love writing about people who are good influences to each other.

A lot of this fic will also be about dissociation and trauma. Yay.

Anem, then, is another original novel I've started multiple times without being completely satisfied. The premise is pretty classic religious cult + good girl/bad girl dynamic, or at least would seem like that in the beginning.

Here's how I seem to have described it on my website at some point:

Dina is a good girl. She picks up flowers every morning, to put on the altar of her family’s home. She’s chaste, she’s beautiful. She fears God. Semira is a “Wild One”, she rarely goes to church, she speaks out of turn. She could be beautiful, if her hair wasn’t so short. Dina doesn’t think it’s her job to save Semira. After all, if the Fathers don’t know how to help the girl, how could she? But Dina keeps ending up spending time with Semira anyway, and the more she does, the stronger the big black swirling something grows in her stomach. There’s clearly something very wrong about Semira. And there’s something wrong about the woods surrounding their isolated village. Dina knows she’s supposed to stay away, but Semira keeps going into the woods.

It has a lot bigger world and anything but clear-cut themes and dynamics, even though it may seem like that in the beginning... and it's one of those early projects that are sort of everything, because you're not good at narrowing it down yet. It's like a dystopian supernatural medieval fantasy horror philosophical cult story I wrote just to barf out everything I was thinking in my early years of studying theology. It's certainly a cult story, but is the cult the big bad or the world around it? It's certainly a queer story, but is it a love story or a hate story? It's certainly trying to say something, but what? No one knows, not even me. It's a big mess.

I'm also starting to feel like I'm dealing with every element and theme I have in this story, in some other story too, and coincidentally someone from my writing group actually just got a book published this year that has a strikingly similar setting and themes, (we both wrote them without knowing about each other) and even though it shouldn't, it does kind of add to my confusion to what to do with this story. I do still want to write it at some point, but it's a big question mark that sort of just pops up from below the surface every time I'm not actively thinking or writing about another project.

Some angsty pictures of Dina, also drawn in my early university years (Oh Lord how obvious my Arina Tanemura influences still were in the way I draw):

Yeah... at least they are accurately dramatic to the story.

Thanks for the ask. I hope there was something entertaining. <3

For anyone curious, here's the WIP list.

[nephilimeq]

Hey, I was just wondering what age you thought Derek was in season one? Cause it’s a heavily debated and unknown piece of information. Me personally I always thought he was 19 in the pilot, and this was before I had read anything about the writers wanting him to be that age in the pilot. It was just the way he acted, to me, it doesn’t seem like a mid-20s man. Also stiles says the fire happened “ like ten years ago” but then a few episodes later Peter says he’s been in a coma for 6 years. So I was just curious what you thought. Also stiles saying that is always made out to be taken as it literally happened exactly ten years ago, and people always bring it up but they never talk about how long Peter said it had been.

Sorry if this is long I just enjoy your blog and your thoughts. I wanted to share mine while also hearing it from your perspective. Hope you have a wonderful day, you deserve it!

This is a very tricky subject to handle, because the writers made mistakes in their own timeline so they switched things around.

But in the very first episode Stiles says that Derek is only a few years older than them. I always figured that Derek was around 19 in Season 1, while Stiles was 16.

The reason why they messed everything up so horribly is because they hadn't actually created a timeline for all the events when they started writing, and to me, it made the show feel like a fan fiction writer who was just making it up as they went and then all the reviewers were saying, "Hey, you have a few continuity errors," and instead of trying to make it work, they just made something up and didn't really try to go back and adjust anything.

There's a scene that happens when Stiles is asking Peter and Cora about Derek's past (Season 3, Episode 8 "Visionary"), and he is trying to find out how old they are, and this train wreck section of dialogue occurs:

Stiles: Okay, if Derek was a sophomore back then, how old was he? How old were you? ...How old are you now? Peter: Not as young as we could have been, but not as old as you might think. Stiles: Okay, that was frustratingly vague. How old are you? Cora: I'm seventeen. Stiles: See, that's an answer. That's how we answer people. Cora: Well, seventeen how you'd measure in years. Stiles: Alright, I'm just gonna drop it.

This dialogue made me so pissy when I heard it the first time because I knew that this was the writers' response to the viewers and fans. The fans are Stiles in this conversation, and the writers are Peter and Cora being purposely "frustratingly vague" in the hopes that we'll just "drop it", which a lot of us did because they wouldn't give us any straight answers.

They messed up and they know it.

In my head canon -- because it makes the most sense to me -- Derek is three years older than them. Canonically, Derek is actually only ten days older than me, as seen in this enhanced screencap right here (from Season 1, Episode 11, where Kate has him kidnapped and held up in chains):

So according to this he would have been around 22, about to turn 23 in the first season...but here's something to take into consideration. This driver's license isn't for California -- it's for New York. I have a theory that he got a professional fake I.D. so that he could do more jobs (such as bartending) while he was out of state.

Now, when Stiles mentions the fire was "like, ten years ago," I genuinely think that he was just generalizing. Derek was sixteen when Kate took advantage of him raped him, which means that the fire happened when Stiles was around twelve/thirteen (as he has a canonically April 8th birthday, so it all depends on the months).

Regarding anything Peter might have said...please remember that it has been firmly established in the show that Peter is an unreliable narrator. Stiles openly admits that to Cora in the previously mentioned Season 3, Episode 8, "Visionary".

A lot of these issues are because of the lack of consistency from the writers.

I think the biggest problem was when they cast a younger Peter and totally threw the timelines off, trying to make him only a few years older than Derek -- which he wasn't. Peter is Derek's uncle, for crying out loud! The man would have been in his late twenties, early thirties when Derek was a teen, barely looking any different than he does in the show...and yet the writers and producers thought that making him look almost like a teenager was the right call.

I do think it was a last ditch attempt to try and make Derek waaay older than Stiles because they didn't like the shipping -- but they had already established too much of their timeline at that point and simply messed up and didn't have the guts to admit it.

Simply put, I genuinely think Derek was nineteen and turned twenty during season one.

Hope that answers your questions, anon!