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willykappymarnsmatts · 3 years

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Angels Like You (Can't Fly Down Here With Me)(A. Matthews/M. Marner)(Chapter 2)

As soon as Mitch closes and locks the door to his apartment, he slumps against it, dropping his bag to the floor in the process. His cheeks are scratchy and dry from the tears that had been falling for like half an hour, but at least he’s finally stopped crying. He pulls his phone out of his sweatpants pocket and glances at the notifications. There’s only a snapchat from Dylan Strome and an Instagram message from Kasperi, probably from before his practice started. Nothing from Monica, which hurts more than he thought it would. He clicks his phone off, and puts it on the tile floor next to him. He leans his head back but misjudges how far he’s sitting from the door and ends up banging the back of his head against it. “Fuck,” he mutters, shutting his eyes closed. He isn’t about to start crying again, and definitely not about bumping his goddamn head.

His stomach rumbles, but he doesn’t want to get up from the cool tile floor. His entire body aches like somebody just cross-checked him onto his face. Not even Zeus, his dog, is there to cheer him up, since he’s visiting with Mitch’s brother for the week. Usually Mitch would call Monica after practice, but after her surprise showing up in the locker room, he doubts that will ever happen again. Maybe he could call Auston, but after the whole teary-hug-thing, he doesn’t know if that’s the best idea ever. Auston would just not stop asking if he’s okay, rather than pretending like nothing happened, which is honestly all that Mitch needs right now. It hurts too much to even think about it.

He has to go get wasted.

Even though it's not even six p.m.

So he scrolls through his phone to find Willy’s number and sends a quick text.

Drinks?

The ‘typing’ dots show up almost right away, and a second later a message pops up.

Mitch it’s 4:30

And?

Yeah ur right

I’ll be at ur place in 15

Mitch nods at his phone and slowly gets up from the floor. He thinks about texting Fred and Mo and maybe Zach, but he’s not really in the mood for a big party thing. He just wants to get drunk with one of his best friends.

So he goes into his room and pulls off his shirt to change into something a bit nicer when his phone dings with another text from Will.

Auston coming?

No and don’t ask him

I just wanna hang u and me

He does feel kind of bad about not asking him, because when do they ever go out without each other, but Mitch knows Auston well enough to know that he won’t let Mitch breathe if he were to come. Instead of overthinking it, Mitch grabs his keys and goes to wait outside his apartment building for Will’s car.

He’s outside for a couple of minutes before Will gets there, and when he pulls up Mitch jumps up and runs the couple of meters to his black car. “William,” Mitch states when he opens the passenger-side door.

“Mitchell. Where are we heading?” He taps the steering wheel lightly and runs his hand through his blonde hair. He is really pretty, Mitch has to admit but he’s definitely not his type, the whole ‘I’m beautiful and I know it’ thing a bit too obvious.

If he were gay, that is. He’s not. Definitely not.

“The usual place.” Mitch replies, and Will nods and puts the car in gear. It’s silent for the first few minutes, Will focusing on getting through the Toronto traffic, Mitch staring blankly at his phone. He opens Instagram, but the first picture on his feed is from Monica’s account, so he quickly unfollows her and shuts off his phone, dropping it onto his lap when he’s done.

“So,” Will starts, unsure of how Mitch will take the question he’s about to ask.

“If you’re going to start with ‘how are you doing with the breakup, Mitch?’ don’t even bother. I don’t wanna talk about it right now.” Mitch puts on a deep voice and waves his hands in the air in an attempt to mock Will, and it’s obvious he’s only half-joking. Will doesnt take it personally, though, telling himself that his friend is going through a lot.

“Um, first of all, that is not how I sound, and second of all, I was going to ask what’s going on with you and Auston? Usually the three of us go out, and after this afternoon…” he trails off.

“Nothings going on with me and Auston,” Mitch says slowly, unsure of what exactly Will is getting at. “What are you even talking about? I didn’t ask him to come because I knew he’d be weird about it and not let me live.” Will just nods, looking straight ahead. He turns his blinker on and Mitch starts again. “What are you talking about?” “Nothing. I just assumed something might have happened, that’s all.” Mitch gives him a look and Will lets out a breathy laugh. “Seriously! That’s all.” Mitch nods at him cautiously and the conversation kind of trails off. They talk hockey for a couple minutes, but it’s painfully obvious that the two are waiting to get at least one drink down to talk about their relationship, or, in Mitch’s case, ex-relationship, problems.

Will makes another turn into the parking lot of a small bar you wouldn't notice if you didn’t know exactly where it was. The two walk into the bar and realize it’s busier than they would have thought it would be at 5 in the afternoon, but what difference does it make at this point. They’re already there, so Mitch finds a booth while Will goes to the bar to order them beers. Mitch pulls out his phone and sees a text from Auston that reads it was sent five minutes ago.

how r u mitch? everything ok? :(

Mitch has a weird sinking feeling in his stomach when he reads the text, but he tells himself he shouldn’t feel guilty. It’s not like he did anything wrong. He ignores the text and forces a smile he knows looks fake when Will comes back to the table, a beer in each hand. He sets one down in front of Mitch and the two sit in silence for a second. “Spill. Everything.”

“I don’t even know what the fuck happened, Willy. I knew something was coming, because she always gets kind of distant and stops responding to my texts and calls before she pulls some drastic bullshit like this, but I didn’t think she’d make me choose between my two favourite people on the planet.” He looks up suddenly, as if the words are falling out of his mouth faster than he can process them. “No offence, you’re obviously also my favorite person, it’s just...” Will just shakes his head, smiles a bit and waves him off, taking a sip of his drink. Mitch does the same, and Will takes it as a chance for him to talk.

“Did you ever actually love her, Mitch? Like, I know you always said she’s so great and makes you so happy, but when you really think about it, was there ever even one full day where you were completely and utterly happy with her?”

He pauses and racks his brain for something, anything, literally one fucking memory of the two of them together when Mitch wasn’t berated for something he did wrong, or when she wasn’t on her phone the entire time they were together, or that time she ditched him for her friends on their six month anniversary where Mitch had planned a dinner at a fancy restaurant and they would walk through downtown Toronto in the evening and watch the sunrise on the beach. He was devastated that day, and suddenly the sadness he was feeling turns to anger and guilt. Anger at her, for everything she put him through while somehow convincing him it was love, and guilt, for all the times he ignored his friends while they told him how bad she was for her. He feels like he’s about to start crying again, and he knows he will if he looks up at his friend, so staring at the table, he says, “I can’t.”

Will nods, cocking his head to the side. “It’s okay, Marns. And it’s okay that you’re still hurting over her, because trust me, even though now you realize it was never real, it’s gonna hurt like hell. You have to let it, otherwise it’ll never get better.” “I’ve been through a breakup before, William,” Mitch snaps, but he’s smiling.

“I know, I just want you to know that I’m here for you. And so is Auston.” He doesn’t realize what he’s implying until it’s out of his mouth, but he’s almost 100% sure Mitch missed it too. Just to be safe, he adds, “And the rest of the team, too, obviously.”

Mitch nods and downs half his beer, then looks at Will. “Honestly it doesn’t even hurt now that I realize that. I’m just really fucking angry.”

“So you know what you should do?”

“Hm?” Mitch tips the glass of beer back to finish it off and sets it back on the table, never breaking eye-contact with Willy.

“When you get home, you pack a box of her shit together and fucking set fire to it. Burn everything. Pictures, souvenirs, ticket stubs, everything. It’s what I did when I broke up with my high school girlfriend, and it’s honestly really freeing.”

Mitch nods, kind of unsure about the idea of setting their relationship up in flames. Will reads him easily though, so he laughs and continues. “Or, you could put her shit in a box and tell her to come pick it up, otherwise it's going in the trash.” The two of them smile and Mitch nods.

“That sounds like a much better option. And still freeing.” There’s a lull in conversation, and honestly Mitch doesn’t have much more to say about his predicament other than long, angry rants, so he decides to prompt Willy. “So, you and Kas…”

“Oh my God my turn! Okay so he called me last night, right,” he leans forward and props his elbows up on the table, and Mitch smiles and leans his head in his hands.

The two of them spend the next few hours in their booth, Mitch downing beer after beer, Will stopping after one because he’s going to be the one to have to drive them both home. Close to eight pm, Will realizes how long the two of them have been sitting there, as well as just how drunk Mitch is. He’s slurring his words and isn’t really focusing on Will, looking around the room unfocused while he attempts to keep up with the conversation. He smiles to himself and tells Mitch it’s time to get home.

“No,” he states like a five year old. “I don’t wanna go home.”

“Yes, you do, bud. We have a game tomorrow night, and you don’t wanna be too tired and hungover to play, do you?”

Mitch shakes his head while Will stands, stuffs his phone into his pocket, and pulls out his keys. He waits for Mitch to stand, then wraps his arm around his waist to help him to the door. He could probably walk on his own, but he doesn’t want to take that chance in a crowded bar with a guy who is heavier as dead weight than he looks like he’d be.

The drive home is silent until Mitch picks up his phone and quickly realizes he can’t read what’s on the screen. “I’m drunk,” he announces, and Will laughs. “Can you read it?” he attempts to hand his phone to Will, then realizes shit, he’s driving, and pulls it back to himself.

“After, Mitch,” and he nods exaggeratedly in response. They pull up to Mitch’s apartment, and getting him up to his floor is slightly easier than Will imagined it would be. He does have to help him into bed, though, and doesn’t bother undressing him. He pulls the covers back for Mitch and sits him down on the mattress. He takes the phone from him while he lies down and glances at the screen. There's five text messages from Auston, all spaced out over the three hours they’d been out.

if u need to talk, u know im here

mitch?

ur probably busy or smtg… text when u get a chance

did i make things weird tdy? im sry if i did

call me mitch plz

“Jesus,” Will mutters under his breath and unlocks Mitch’s phone to respond. Mitch gave him his passcode a long time ago, so he knows he won’t care.

Hey its Will

Everything is fine, Mitch is super drunk, that's all

Dw about him

u guys went out?

Will knows how bad it looks that the two of them went without Auston, but he should be able to understand.

He needed some one-on-one w someone not as close to him I think

It def wasn't a party, we drowned in our emotions, man

alright i get it

shit, can u plz delete the messages from before?

including these actually

Ofc np

“Night, Mitch,” Will whispers, although he already realizes Mitch is passed out. He sets his phone on the night table next to him and makes sure to lock the apartment door behind him. Mitch honestly cannot be more blind about his literal soulmate being madly in love with him, but he thinks he has a plan to help him figure it out now.

U should pick him up tmrw for the game. He's gonna be hungover af and moody

ofc, was planning on it anyways :)

#auston matthews #mitch marner #william nylander #kasperi kapanen fics #dylan strome #auston matthews/mitch marner #auston matthews x mitch marner #mitch marner x auston matthews #mitch marner/auston matthews #unrequited love #toronto maple leafs #nhl #nhl hockey #boys are dumb and i love them #willykappymarnsmatts

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 3 years

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with you [chapter 7]

Summary: Clementine pops the question, Louis has nightmares, Violet can’t let go of the past, Mitch doesn’t know how to handle gross feelings, Ruby’s a goddamn sweetheart, Willy doesn’t ever remember to knock, Aasim can’t dance, and James is here, too.

Nothing like a wedding to bring this family together.

Note: Apparently one o’clock in the morning is when my brain wants to write and actually do stuff now. Hooray.

Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6 | Ch7

Read on: AO3

---

The window's open.

Louis slips in and out of darkness, stuck between a dreamless calm and a waking reality. Cool air drifts in through the cracked window, brushing against the bare skin of his arm. A grumble bubbles up his throat as he pulls the blanket closer to his chin.

It's not the morning chill or the golden glow flowing in through the parted curtains that wakes him up, though.

A gentle hand shakes his shoulder.

A familiar presence looms over-- he can feel it even in his drowsy state.

Nothing dangerous, of course. Otherwise, he'd be bolting out of bed in a blind search for Chairles.

He rolls over onto his side, eyes too heavy to open.

"Louis?"

The hand grasps his shoulder again, this time shaking a little harder. His grogginess worsens. It’s as if someone poured wet cement into his bones. He reaches out over the empty spot next to him in search of Clementine’s warmth, inhaling the morning air and letting it out with a groan.

The hand shakes him again, harder this time, so he grabs and holds it.

"U-uh-"

Louis buries his face in his pillow, his voice coming out muffled, groggy, "Darling, come back to bed."

"Louis!"

His nose smashes against the mattress.

"Ow! Hey!"

He's ready to complain about such a rude awakening until he realizes whose hand he's still holding.

The room is awkwardly silent until Louis mumbles, "You're not Clementine."

"No," Aasim pulls free and hits Louis with the pillow, "no, I'm not."

Louis snatches the pillow back, fluffing and tucking it under his head with a heavy sigh. "How long have you been watching me sleep?" he yawns. "I didn't take you for the creeper type."

"I wasn't watching you sleep," Aasim rolls his eyes. "I came to wake you up. We're going hunting."

"Hunting?"

Well, that’s the first he's heard of this.

He and Aasim usually go hunting every few days, and they just went the day before. Louis props himself on his elbows to peer up at him with a dull expression. Another yawn builds in his throat.

"You must have your days mixed up," he says. "Mitch and Willy go today. We're not supposed to go ‘til tomorrow, so we can all go back to bed now. Goodnight."

"No, it’s our turn," Aasim says quickly. "We gotta go now. James was out there earlier and he saw a deer."

A...

A what?

"A deer?" Louis perks a brow. "Sure it wasn't just a big possum? Or a walker on all fours? Maybe even a bunch of bunnies standing on each other's shoulders?"

"He's pretty damn sure it was a deer," Aasim insists, spreading the window curtains farther apart. More light floods in, causing Louis to wince as his eyes adjust to the sudden brightness. He yanks the blanket fully over his head, curling up.

"He's already out there tracking it,” Aasim grabs Louis’ coat from off the desk chair and tosses it to him, “so we gotta move fast if we want any chance of hunting it. We also have to check the traps and make sure the fishing shack is still secure."

"A deer?" Louis presses again from beneath the blanket. "Like, a real deer? Like Bambi?”

“Bambi was a cartoon.”

Aasim jerks the blanket off, dropping it to the floor far from Louis’s reach.

“You know what I mean,” Louis sighs, squinting back up at him. “We've never seen a deer out there, like, ever. Not even at the beginning."

"Well, James just saw one, so... Get up and get ready. We're leaving soon.”

Aasim scratches at his chin, turning to gaze about the room, searching for something.

Louis swings his legs over the side of the bed and stretches out his arms, groaning in satisfaction as the muscles loosen.

“How soon is ‘soon’?”

“As soon as you put your boots on.”

Louis lets out an exaggerated groan.

This definitely isn’t what he had planned for this morning.

He planned on waking up to Clementine sleeping peacefully beside him, happier and more content than she was last night.

It’s been a long time since he’s seen her so physically upset.

He knows Clementine well enough by now. He knows that she still holds in most of those awful feelings. Whenever something upsets her, or even after she has a nightmare of her own, her face defaults to a stoic expression. Whether she does it out of habit, or because she doesn’t want him or anyone else to worry, or some concoction of both, he’s not entirely sure.

She has enough room within her to bottle it up. She has the strength to hold it in.

Hee wishes he was more like that.

Sometimes, he felt he was bursting at the seams.

And there she always was, trying to sew him back together.

Seeing her like that… shit, it’s one of the most hopeless feelings when all you can do is hold someone without the power to heal their pain.

Louis squeezes his eyes shut, biting the inside of his cheek.

“I talked to Violet…”

Violet.

Shit, what could’ve possibly brought that on?

He hadn’t asked, even though he wanted to. God, he really wanted to. He’s so desperate to know... why now? Did it just happen, or has it been weighing heavier in her mind again? What was it about? Why didn’t she tell him?

He didn’t want to upset her any more than she already was, though, so he left it alone. She would tell him when she was ready.

And, Violet…

He can’t imagine how she must be feeling right now.

He watches Aasim as he paces over to AJ’s desk, stopping to look over the several drawings hanging on the wall.

Louis really doesn’t want to go hunting.

He already had his morning planned out.

First, he’d wake up and kiss Clementine before her watch. Or, if she already left, go find her and then kiss her.

It’s sort of a rule he has. While Louis was never one for strict rules or planning, he does have certain things that have to be done. Kissing Clementine every day is one of those rules.

Okay, maybe it’s not considered a rule, per se.

But, he made sure to kiss her every morning, and whenever one of them left to go hunting or scavenging or on watch without the other, and every night before bed. It didn’t have to be a crazy, passionate kiss. Sometimes, just a little peck on the cheek was enough.

It made him feel better, even if he knows it’s his subconscious telling him, “Kiss her! It might be your last chance! Death is always watching you, Louis!”

A lovely thought, as usual.

After he kissed her, he’d ask her if she was feeling any better, or if she wanted to talk about it. Whether she would or not, he didn’t know.

Next, he’d grab two plates of breakfast and head over to Violet’s room. If she answered, they’d eat together. If she didn’t answer or let him in, she’d at least have food waiting for her. Then, he’d find Tenn to keep an eye on her, make sure she ate.

However, it seems that Aasim’s determined to foil those plans all in the name of some deer James supposedly saw.

Seriously, a deer?

Louis tries to rub the drowsiness from his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief. Aasim might as well have said, “Hey! Leprechauns are frolicking in the woods! Quick! Let’s go get their gold!”

Well, okay, maybe a deer is more plausible than a leprechaun.

But, still.

When Aasim notices Louis’s lack of movement and vacant stare, he crosses his arms and shoots him a stern look.

“Now, dude.”

Louis scratches the back of his neck as he hangs his head. “Do you really need me to go?” he asks. “I mean, it’s not like we need three people tracking a deer that may or may not be a figment of James’ imagination.”

“It’s not a figment of his imagination,” Aasim insists. “Will you just put your boots on? We’re wasting daylight.”

“You’re awfully pushy this morning.”

“No, I just-” Aasim stops, looking away. "I want that deer, okay?"

Louis studies him for a moment as he pulls on his jacket, trying to understand the stress prominent in his features.

"Dude, if you're so worried about the deer, just go without me-"

"No! No, you- I-uh, " Aasim presses his mouth into a thin line. His eyes dart around at the floor. He wears a taut expression that Louis recognizes. It's one that Aasim usually has when he's jotting down the day's events and he can't figure out how to word something.

Louis gets off the bed, hands on his hips and head cocked curiously.

"You okay?"

"You have to come with me," Aasim says slowly. He scratches at his scruffy chin and looks towards to door, saying, “We need three people to carry it back when we get it.”

“I doubt it. Two people’s enough.”

“No, three people are needed to safely carry it.”

“James’ strong. Honestly, the dude could probably drag it back here himself. You don’t need me there.”

Then, Aasim blurts out, "I-I don't want to be alone with James.”

Louis almost laughs.

"What?"

"Uh-” Aasim stutters, “Yeah, he makes me nervous, okay? You guys are friends. If you go, he'll have someone to talk to and I won't have to worry about him."

“Are you serious? I thought you two got along. You talk to him every time he’s here. Hell, don’t you always eat together, too?”

“That- that doesn’t mean anything. Will you just put your damn boots on, already?” Aasim finds his boots on the floor and kicks them towards him. “Why do you always have to be so damn difficult? Just once, can you do what I ask with no questions asked?”

Louis opens his mouth to speak, but then promptly shuts it.

Something’s weird.

Aasim’s being weird.

He never argues this much. Usually, by now he would’ve thrown his hands up, stomped out and left him behind, grumbling about what a pain in the ass he is.

But, there Aasim stood, moving about the room impatiently, still waiting for him.

Louis slips on his boots, keeping an eye on the other boy, and begins slowly lacing them up.

Aasim picks up the small venus fly trap on the desk and pokes it, causing it to steadily close its mouth. He’s so forcefully fixated on the plant that Louis is convinced something’s up.

Louis has known him for a long time, and he knows that Aasim avoids eye contact and becomes defensive due to three things: when someone brings up the delta, when he’s lying about something, or when someone confronts him about his crush on-

Louis’ mouth falls agape.

Oh.

“He makes you nervous, huh?” Louis asks, hopping to his feet.

Aasim almost drops the plant, but luckily, he catches it. “Yeah, so what?”

“Why?”

“Uh?”

“Why does he make you nervous?” Louis repeats, drawing out each word. “I mean, aside from the whole wearing another dude’s face and hanging out with his walker friends.”

Aasim’s lips part as though he’s ready to speak, but it seems he’s stuck. He moves his hands about as if somehow that’ll help him articulate the words he’s looking for. In the end, he gives an agitated sigh and heads towards the exit, saying, “Just drop it and let’s go.”

However, Louis is quick to stride ahead and shut the door, pressing his back against it and raising his brow suggestively at him.

“Not so fast!”

“Dude, really?”

Louis smirks.

“I see you, Aasim.”

“What?” Aasim scowls. “Get out of the way. Clem’s gonna be pissed we haven’t left yet.”

Louis grins brightly. He ignores Aasim’s protests, reaching out to grasp his shoulder, saying, “It’s finally happened. Our poor Aasim, the fool forever trapped within the realms of unrequited love-”

“Uh, what?”

“-has finally moved on from dear, sweet Ruby-”

“No-”

“-and onto the ever so mysterious-”

“No, no-”

“-handsome James!”

“Oh my god…” Aasim rubs his eyes, fingers curling over his face in irritation. “Oh my god, you’re so stupid.”

“Ah, James,” Louis disregards the insult, continuing, “Gotta say, I did not see that one coming. Never thought I’d see the day you give up on sweet Ruby. She’ll be devastated. Oh Ruby, don’t know what you got until it’s gone. ”

“I don’t have a crush on James, you idiot.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I never had a crush on Ruby.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I don’t-didn’t!”

“Uh-huh.”

Aasim inhales sharply through his nose. “I swear, it’s like you strive to piss me off!”

Louis holds his hands up defensively, saying, “No, I hear you, dude. I just don’t believe you. You can’t look me in the eye and say with a straight face that you never had a crush on Ruby.”

Aasim rubs his palms over his jacket before crossing his arms, not saying a word.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Louis continues, “Ruby’s a sweet girl- well, sweet until pushed otherwise. And James is really cool underneath that walker getup. In fact, I dare say you two would be pretty damn adorable--”

Aasim holds up his hand inches away from Louis’ face. “I’m gonna stop you right there before you say any more stupid shit,” he says sternly. “I don’t like James.”

“If that’s true, then why’re you being so weird?” asks Louis. “Hmmm?”

“Look,” Aasim sighs. “We could stand here all day arguing about this stupid shit, but the longer we do that, the farther that deer gets, and the longer James is stuck out there waiting for us by himself. Clementine is counting on both of us to go out there and track it, so can you please just take this seriously for once?”

“Who says I’m not being serious?”

Aasim shoots him a look.

“Okay, fine,” he sighs. He pushes away from the door. “You really believe he saw a deer out there?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“And so does Clem?”

“Why else would she send me to wake your ass up?” Aasim asks, glancing back down at the floor.

Well, so much for morning plans. He’d have to shorten his list and make it quick.

“Just answer me this last question,” Louis says with a wide grin. “How long have you liked James?”

“I’m not playing this game with you.”

“What game? You wanted me to be serious, so here I am! Being serious! How long? Details, my friend!”

“I don’t-” Aasim groans, rubbing his hands harshly over his face and through his hair.

Alright, that’s enough teasing, he thinks. Louis would ask him about it again later when Aasim isn’t so flustered or preoccupied with thoughts of a prancing deer.

“Okay, okay, let’s go get Bambi. But before that, can I at least do my morning business first?” he asks. “Or am I gonna have to hold it the whole time?”

“Fine,” Aasim sighs, relieved, “just hurry up. Meet you at the gates.”

And with that, Aasim rushes out the door.

Louis shakes his head with a small smile. What an interesting development, he thinks. Aasim and James… Louis frowns. Now that he thinks about it, that might make things complicated if his theory about Mitch and James is-- … It’s probably nothing. He’s thinking about it too much.

With Chairles in his possession and a set determination, Louis leaves the bedroom, ready to complete his morning plans in the short amount of time given.

---

From down the hall, Louis can hear the sound of glass shards scraping against the wooden floors. His gut tightens.

Violet’s door is wide open.

Uneasy, apprehensive to continue, he comes to a stop.

Violet never leaves her door open, not even a crack. Whether she’s alone or not, she always makes sure her door is shut and locked. There’s been plenty of times where he’d gone to see her and after she let him in, she’d almost push him out of the way to slam the lock shut.

He’d asked her about it the first time it happened. She hadn’t answered him. She was too ashamed to, so she pretended not to hear the question.

He didn’t say any more about it. If it made her feel better- safer, more secure- then he wouldn’t argue. He’s gotten in the habit of locking it himself every time he comes to visit just so she doesn’t panic.

Eventually, he does peek into the room.

But, he doesn’t find Violet.

No, he’s alarmed to find Mitch bent down on the floor with a dustpan and a small, broken broom, cautiously sweeping up shattered glass bits. There’s a small bag next to him with a wooden frame protruding from it. Clear concentration knits his brows and his lips move as if silently mumbling to himself.

Louis’ eyes narrow. He tries to wrap his head around just what he’s seeing.

Think of the devil, and the devil will appear... Or something to that effect.

When he moves closer, right into the door frame, Mitch doesn’t seem to notice, even when he clears his throat.

So, he speaks.

“Hey, Mitch,” he says, loud and flat.

Mitch jerks back, losing his balance, hissing out, “Jesus motherfucking-!” He drops the dustpan to help steady himself, letting glass slip out onto the floor again. He scrambles to his feet, cheeks flushing a furious red, but his glare dies when he sees it’s Louis standing there. He grows tense, unmoving, with eyes wide like a small child just caught sneaking around where they weren’t supposed to.

The two stare at each other for many seconds before Mitch points at him.

“You’re not supposed to be here.”

“Funny,” Louis scoffs, pushing his jacket back to place his hands on his hips firmly, “I was about to say the same thing.”

“I, uh-” Mitch straightens out, looking down at the broom in his hand and the glass on the floor before peering back up at him. “Shouldn’t you be out hunting?”

“Don’t change the subject,” Louis frowns. He approaches the other boy, asking, “What are you doing here? Where’s Vi?”

“She’s with Tenn,” Mitch says. “Spent the night in his room after she, uh,” he motions down to the broken glass, “flipped out.”

Concern tightens in his throat. The panic must be clear on his face, because Mitch shakes his head and explains, “She did it after their talk.” He kneels back down and starts sweeping again. “Clem told’ja about that, I assume?”

“Yeah,” he says slowly. “And, how do you know about it, exactly?”

“I was keeping watch. Made sure Violet didn’t do anything.” Mitch dumps the glass bits into the small bag before motioning towards the desk. “She didn’t, at least not while Clem was here. She smashed this after we were leaving. I left the picture over there.”

Louis hesitates, but steps around Mitch, wary of the remaining glass bits. As he approaches the desk, he notices that her water bottle is tipped over onto its side, empty. What’s worse, is he can see it’s completely dry, like it hasn’t been used in a long time. He stands it up, moving it right next to her journal.

He remembers when Aasim gave that to her. It wasn’t bound like a real book, but Aasim had gathered some thicker paper from the basement and had Ruby sew it together into a makeshift book. It even had a cover, drawn by Tenn.

Aasim gave it to her after the delta, said that writing was easier than talking. He gave her a bunch of pencils and pens, too, but he can’t spot any lying around. Louis doesn’t know if she really writes in it, though he hopes she does. Anything to help, anything to release a little bit of that pain.

Louis considered it once. But trying to write down his feelings only frustrated him. Instead, he turned to Clementine and music for solace.

He glances away from the journal and to the photo laying at the bottom corner of the desk.

Violet, Minerva, and Sophie, all together, all smiling.

He can’t help but grin, even if there’s no joy in it.

The photo’s covered in scratches, from the glass, no doubt. But, the faces are still clear.

Minerva.

The real Minnie.

Not the husk that pointed her crossbow at him, who tried to kill Clementine and take them all away to that sick hellhole.

As he stares at her face, her long hair and sincere eyes, he wishes that’s the only way he could remember her; happy, radiant, beautiful.

Fuck, he couldn’t even remember her laugh, or how charming her singing was.

She used to always laugh at his stupid jokes, at his silly voices and silly songs. Even when no one else would, she’d take pity on him and laugh.

They’d sing together in their downtime, too. They’d sing until Violet threw her head back, groaning out that he was ruining the song. So, he’d shut up and just play the piano, and Minerva would sing.

Louis thinks that’s when it happened.

When Violet first fell in love.

That’s why she always told him to shut up. Something in Minerva’s voice brought her comfort, gave her some sense of purpose.

He can remember Violet sitting there, watching both of them, and when Minerva sang to her, it was like he didn’t exist anymore. He was just there for background noise, a mere puppet to set the mood and a witness to what was blossoming.

It was beautiful.

Violet was beautiful.

He’d told her that shortly after she and Minerva became official, told her how happy he was for her. She punched him in the shoulder and called him stupid.

Minerva had agreed with him, though.

God, the way they looked at each other.

“I killed her.”

But, the memories of her glazed over expression, her washed out, gaunt face overshadow those fond times now.

Minerva...

“I killed her.”

Sophie.

“I killed her.”

Poor, poor Sophie.

He has to squeeze his eyes shut and bite his lip to stop his quivering chin. He’s not about to cry here, especially not in front of Mitch. He swallows the lump forming in his throat and breathes in, and out. He places the picture in the desk drawer.

“She wasn’t hurt, right?” Louis asks, attempting to hide the tremble in his voice. “By the glass?”

“Not that I could see. Didn’t see any blood anywhere.”

Well, at least she’s physically still intact. That doesn’t make him any less worried, though.

Mitch’s eyes dart all around the floor, looking for any shards he might’ve missed. He turns on his heels to grab his bag again.

“Clem told you?” Louis asks. “That she was gonna talk to her?”

“Yeah.”

Louis knows Clementine and Mitch had some sort of understanding with each other, but of all the people he thought she would’ve turned to when it came to talking to Violet, he didn’t put Mitch too high on the list.

“Why?”

“Uh,” Mitch stops sweeping. “Why what?”

“Why’d she tell you?” Louis asks. “She could’ve come to me.”

Mitch tenses. “I-I don’t fucking know, dude!” he exclaims far too loudly. As he continues, his speech becomes quicker, more defensive, “She just said it and I told her it was a shit idea but no, she just had to come and poke the bear right in the fucking eye and when you do that you get your hand bitten off and so I said I’d come with her and make sure her hand doesn’t get bitten off- shit I didn’t actually say it like that but I said, ‘don’t do it,’ and she was all, ‘I’m doing it,’ and-”

“Okay, okay,” Louis interrupts, overwhelmed by the outburst. “I get the idea. But why are you here now?”

Straightens himself out again, leaving the broom and dustpan on the floor to tie up the bag. “She wasn’t gonna clean it up,” he mumbles. “Hey, shouldn’t you be hunting? Aasim’s gonna kick your ass if you don’t get moving. We need that deer.”

Again, with the hunting thing.

“Yeah, yeah, the deer,” he sighs. “I’m going. I just wanted to check up on Vi first.”

“Doubt she wants to see anybody. Better off going straight to Aasim. Like right now.”

“I will,” Louis crosses his arms, “as soon as I see you out.”

Mitch eyes him questioningly before it dawns on him.

“Oh, right. Fair enough.”

He leaves the broken broom and dustpan in the corner of the room and scopes out the floor one last time. “Tell her not to break any glass shit next time. It’s a pain in the ass to clean up.”

Louis doesn’t bother responding. Mitch is already out the door anyway, leaving him alone in the emptiness of Violet’s room.

---

It’s chillier this morning. While the sun is still bright in the sky, there are more clouds floating about, all various shades of gray. Maybe not dark enough to worry about rain at the moment, but they still pass over the sun and bring a coolness over the school.

Louis tugs on the collar of his jacket, covering up a bit. Upon looking around, he’s a little surprised to only see Tenn sitting at his usual table, holding a board with a piece of paper taped on it in his lap, and Aasim pacing in front of the gates. He can faintly see Clementine and AJ up on watch.

No Ruby, no Willy, no Omar.

Even Rosie isn’t outside.

Odd.

But, he shrugs it off. He didn’t think he was late enough to miss breakfast, but that does bring up another concern.

Ignoring Aasim for a moment, figuring he can wait just a little bit longer, Louis makes his way towards Tenn.

There’s a line up of old bottles, some broken, some filled with a gross looking grey liquid. The board rests comfortably in Tenn’s lap. He’s focused on his drawing, his eyes constantly darting up to stare at the bottles before going back to copy it onto paper.

“Hey, Tenn,” Louis greets.

The boy looks back at him, eyes wide and blinking rapidly. “Oh, hi, Louis,” he says.

“What’cha drawing today?” Louis asks enthusiastically, peering over his shoulder.

Tenn sheepishly sets the board on the table, careful not to knock anything over. Several drawings of bottles fill up the page, all a little wobbly or disproportionate.

“James said I need practice drawing from life more, but,” Tenn sighs, “bottles are hard.”

“Yeah, but it looks like you’re getting the hang of it.” Louis points to a sketch in the right corner. “I like this one. It looks real enough to drink out of!”

A small, timid smile spreads across the young boy’s face. “Really?”

“Totally,” Louis gives an encouraging grin. “Wait until James sees these. He’s gonna be floored at how good you’re getting. Oh!” Louis pats his shoulder. “By the way, that one you did of me looks amazing on our wall.”

“You-you hung it up?”

“Of course I did!”

Tenn looks away to hide his diffident smile. “Thanks, Louis…”

“Of course,” Louis grins. He moves around and takes a seat next to him with a sigh, his usual grin replaced with a more serious look. “Hey,” he lowers his voice, “how’s Vi doing?”

Tenn sets his pencil down, keeping his eyes locked on his hands. “She’s okay. She slept in my room last night.”

“I heard,” Louis scratches at his chin thoughtfully, “but, she’s okay? Well, as okay as she can be?”

“I think so,” Tenn says. “She-...she cried a lot, but she’s stopped, so...”

Shit.

“Did she get any sleep?”

“A little. She’s still in bed. She told me I didn’t have to wait for her.”

“Did she eat anything?”

“I brought her some breakfast,” he nods, “and she ate a little.”

Relief washes over him.

“Good,” he says. “That’s good. Keep an eye on her, okay? I would go check on her myself but it seems I’m needed elsewhere.”

Tenn goes back to his drawing, pulling the board back into his lap, saying, “Uhm, aren’t you and Aasim-”

“Going hunting, yes, to capture that magical deer prancing in the woods.” Louis stands up again, giving Tenn one last pat on the back. “Her water bottle’s in her room. When you take a break, would you fill it up and bring it to her?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks, buddy,” Louis smiles warmly. “Keep up the good work.”

He waves good-bye to the young boy, but still strays away from the gates. He knows Aasim can see him, and it’s only a matter of time before he stomps over and drags him out by his ear.

There’s just one more thing he has to do.

Approaching the post where they take turns on watch, Louis calls up, “Clementine?”

At first, he doesn’t get a response. Then, AJ leans over and smiles down at him, excitedly waving. “Hi, Louis!”

“Hey, little man!” he laughs. “Clem up there?”

“Yeah!”

Clementine appears beside him, giving AJ a set of binoculars. Louis steps back, watching her climb down.

He’s pleased to see her smiling.

In fact, he dare say she’s glowing this morning.

She hurries over to him and slips into his open arms. Her cold nose brushes his skin when she leans up and pecks him on the lips.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning,” he grins. He opens his jacket up more, pulling her close and wrapping it around her as much as possible. “You’re freezing.”

“Been out here a few hours,” she sighs, melting into his touch, soaking up his warmth. “I expected to see you a lot sooner. Aasim’s been waiting.”

“Ah, yes, so we can hunt this famous deer everyone’s so obsessed with,” he says, “He was ready to drag me out of bed by my feet this morning. I think I can actually feel him glaring at us right now.” He peeks over Clementine’s head nonchalantly, and sure enough, Aasim is staring at the couple, exasperated.

“Believe me, I heard all about it,” Clementine pulls back with a stern look. “You shouldn’t give him such a hard time.”

“Yeah, I know. He just makes it too easy sometimes. Anyway,” Louis leans forward to kiss her cheek. “Just wanted to make sure you were okay before I took off.”

She hums against his chest, mumbling, “I’m a lot better, actually. All things considered. It’s… a good day.”

“It’s a cold day.”

“It’s not that cold.”

“Your nose is about to fall off.”

“So dramatic.”

Louis chuckles, pulling back to rub warmth into her arms before stopping to hold her hands.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Later,” she says. “You have a deer to hunt.”

“I’d happily cancel to make time for you.”

“Nice try, but no.”

“Ugh.”

He’s getting pretty tired of hearing about this deer.

“Don’t pout. Think about how much a whole deer could feed us.”

“Not much, because I’m, like, eighty percent sure Bambi doesn’t really exist.”

“Louis.”

“Okay, ninety percent.”

She shakes her head, trying to hide her smile. She playfully smacks his chest. “Just go. You two have kept James waiting long enough. We’ll talk later, okay? I promise.”

Louis doesn’t let her hands go.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asks.

“Yes.”

He studies her face for any sign of unease but finds that she’s still smiling up at him.

When she notices his hesitation, she tugs on his hand.

“Are you okay?”

He’s quiet as he says, “I went to check on her. She wasn’t in her room.”

Clementine doesn’t say anything, but her grip on his hands tightens.

“I did find Mitch cleaning up glass. That was pretty weird.”

Her eyes flutter shut as she lowers her head. “The picture…”

“Yeah,” he nods, “Tenn promised to keep an eye on her today. Try not to think about it too much. And if she does come out, well... ”

“I know.”

He doesn’t say any more about it. Her promise to talk about it when he gets back is enough assurance for him.

“Louis!” Aasim calls from the gates. “Let’s go!”

Louis shakes his head and forces a cheerful smile. “Best not keep poor Aasim waiting. He’s gonna need a shoulder to cry on when we don’t find that deer.”

Clementine rolls his eyes. “And here I thought you were the optimist.”

“Optimist, sure. Delusional? Not as much as you’d think.”

“Just don’t give Aasim such a hard time,” she says, quirking a knowing brow. “I hear he’s had a rough morning already.”

“I won’t,” he promises. “I have a feeling that he won’t hesitate to shoot at me today if I push the wrong button.”

Clementine’s fingers brush against his cheek before she pulls him down. Their lips press comfortably together as a pleased sigh escapes her. They savor the moment, reluctant to pull away. It takes him a second to recover, a second before he can open his eyes again.

God, she is glowing today.

And he’s just standing there, smiling and chuckling like a fool.

She turns away to hide the pretty blush blossoming on her cheeks, hitting his chest again.

“Go.”

“Fine.”

Louis goes to the gates, turning to wave good-bye to her. He’s still grinning when he meets Aasim, who shakes his head and gives an exaggerated eye roll before pushing through the gates.

Louis isn’t too far behind.

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queens-hoes · 4 years

Text

Ikevamp Suitors as University Professors (Part 3!)

Shakespeare

Obviously a literature prof is that even a question with a focus on the really old stuff

Like Beowulf, medieval literature, Shakespeare (if it exists in this uni-verse haha get it)

Basically if it came out before the 18th century, he's your guy or if it's Edgar Allan Poe

I feel like our boy Willy Shakes would be a big fan of the Big Bad Gothic Hoe

Reads texts out loud very dramatically

Focuses on the way something is written instead of the meaning behind it

Symbolism? Nah mate

This is coming from the guy whose plays are filled with adult jokes that just fly over your head the first time around

(Shakespeare literally made a "your mom" joke, he isn't overanalyzing shit)

His class is really insightful but....

.....can anyone understand a word this man is saying

God help his poor students

They always need to have an extra tab open to a dictionary site

Y'know how teachers have apples on their desks? He'd probably have a skull instead for the aesthetic

It's an ongoing debate among students whether he's amazing or terrible at his job

You better hope he doesn’t hear you talking shit....or else....

(Exit, pursued by a bear)

Comte

The President of the entire school, can’t convince me otherwise

If not that, then he’s at least a dean or head chairman of a certain faculty

Despite having such a high-standing position, his true passion really is teaching

And he sure can teach a lot

He can speak literally Every Language, so he’s pretty much a fixture in the International/Foreign Language department

Probably spends most of the time teaching French or English

But based on the game we can safely assume he can also speak Italian, Dutch, German and Japanese

And probably Latin, Greek and/or Hebrew since he’s old af

He’s also 100% picked up at least a little of Spanish, Portuguese, Mandarin, Thai, Russian, Hindi, literally every other language in existence

Has really good relationships with the international students bc of this

Hand-picks every prof at the school

Though sometimes regrets his life choices when he hears about Dazai breaking another window or Leo being found in the fountain for the third straight day

Professor Saint-Germain needs a holiday

You will never hear someone say something bad about this man, he is amazing

Any woman that interacts with him, whether it be a faculty member or a student, has fallen at least a little in love with him and a few men too wink wonk

But don't be fooled, he will suspend/expel/fire anyone that crosses any lines

Everyone secretly suspects that he’s actually either a nobleman of some sort or a supernatural creature

No human is just born like that

Sebastian

Is Napoleon’s favourite TA that follows him around like a puppy

Practically has the same level of history knowledge as Napoleon, just without the PhD (for now)

Bc of this, he helps out a lot of the students that may feel intimidated to go to the prof

Has a group chat with his tutorial group where he sends historical memes

His groups are always full bc of how popular he is with students

Would totally use stan Twitter language to discuss historical events

"AIGHT so lemme spill the tea on the French Revolution and why you should stan my S-tier level man, Napoleon--"

100% the type to tell his students where to find free textbooks in illegal ways

Exams coming up? You bet he's making Kahoot/Jeopardy games to help everyone review

Need an extension? No biggie

But if he notices you actually slacking off, Scary Sebastian appears

They say his glare is enough to scare anyone into submission Comte is so proud

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevam #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp comte #ikevamp sebastian #ikevam shakespeare #ikevam comte #ikevam sebastian #ikevamp headcanons #william shakespeare #comte de saint germain

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bionerd2point0 · 3 years

Text

2020 Creator Wrap

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

I was tagged by the lovely @irolltwenties!

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I had to go look, because I really don’t check my stats all that often, but guys. I wrote and posted over 111,000 words this year. /o\ I’m seriously astounded, because it certainly didn’t feel like that much (mostly because all of my big projects are still in my docs ;P). I’ve met a ton of great people this year, and look forward continuing to get to know everyone. I don’t really have any big resolutions this year (besides to finish Honest Men 😂) but I have hope that 2021 will be a brighter year!!

(As a side note for anyone who follows these links to a fic they haven’t read yet, please be sure to read the tags. I’m not mentioning any warnings below)

1) Feelings of Life

What else would I be putting as my #1? XD Honestly, this series still means so much to me. I wrote Safety on a whim over the course of 4 days, and through it I met @feriswheel who is the best beta on the planet, and has become a very good friend. She pulled me into fandom (reading fic is vastly different than talking to people, and I’d never done the second one before then lol) and set me loose on the poor unsuspecting people there (let’s be real. I just lurked and screamed “WHAT DO I DO?!” to her every time someone said hello lmao). This series has a special place in my heart, and I was so happy that so many people liked it too!

2) Redfish

Can I just say holy shit???? This was my “I am ignoring politics in November” fic that was inspired after I bawled my eyes out to Bear’s fic and needed a Free Willy-type rescue op. In no way did I anticipate the level of feedback I received for this, but it made me absolutely giddy to know that it touched so many people, especially since animal cruelty and misunderstood creatures are one of the topics I care a whole lot about. Mandy was also an absolute joy to work with, and the way this fic just came together finally convinced me to put more effort into outlining other projects. XD Who woulda thought? haha

3) Operation Tim

This one started as a “WTF am I supposed to do?” for the casefic prompt for JayTim week, and turned into a super self-indulgent kid fic. I’m still surprised that it’s my most popular fic by kudos, cuz kid fics are one of those tropes that people usually find pretty cringy, but I had a ton of fun writing it. XP It’s angsty and fluffy and I had a blast letting Tim get angry not to mention the revenge on Ra’s in the sequel. It was a bit of a research project too, since I’m not a canon buff and it’s set in a canon divergence AU, but it was really nice to learn some of the smaller details from Snow that wifi likes to gloss over.

4) High-Flying Bird

I’d always wanted to do some kind of urban fantasy AU, and this idea was the one that made me want to participate in JayTimWeek. Building this world and creating background characters like Gerry was just so much fun, and let’s be real, Jason ranting about the lack of standard units of measure is definitely my own pet peeve with most magic potion-type stuff. XD It’s the chemist in me stewing about how everything is different sizes and materials and there’s no specifications!! Anywho, this one was a joy to write during an otherwise very stressful time.

5) Of Souls and Solitude

Last, but certainly not least, my daemon fic. This is probably my least popular fic by both hits and kudos, but it’s only been out for two weeks and is a ficlet, so that’s to be expected. It’s probably my favorite of the fills I did for my promptathon, and it was really interesting to learn about what daemon AUs are (I think I’ve actually avoided them in the past, because I thought it meant demon AU, and that’s not usually my jam). I’m very glad that Bear sent it my way, and I definitely need to read the series that created the idea! It’s just a truly interesting concept (and I got to kill the Joker so, you know, I’m a happy camper XD).

There’s so many people I could thank for encouraging me and helping me get this far, it would probably double the length of this post and it’s too long already. So instead, I’ll just put out a general, though heartfelt, Thank You. You guys have been amazing, and I look forward to whatever the coming year holds!

No-pressure-tags: @bearly-writing, @silver-snow-77, @themandylion, @generatorcat, @chibinightowl, @elyreywrites, @marudny-robot, @elareine, @glaciya, and I’m gonna stop there before I tag everyone I know XD

Happy New Year everyone!

#bio talks #2020 wrapped

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gothamsglam · 3 years

Text

How Wonder-land-a-ful!

Transferring to SHIELD high did many things for Tony, one of them was reuniting him with James Rhodes. Just not how he wanted to.

Ever After High/Marvel Fusion. Ironhusbands, of course. (You don't have to know much about Ever After High to read this, think just some fairy tale AU and you'll be fine!)

AO3 LINK IN NOTES

I wanted to churn out one more story for the end of 2020, I thought something more silly would be a great way to end this uh year.

This idea has stuck with me for a while, and I finally wrote it.

Hope you enjoy!!!

~Vix

SHIELD High was so bland . Yes, it was grand of course, structured like the classically large fairy-tale castles of Ever After. The hallways were marble with lockers and vines lining the walls and trees and plants growing willy nilly around the school. Chandeliers hung from the high ceilings, and large arched windows showed off the beauty of the lands around them. In the distance, Tony swears he can see Sleeping Beauty’s castle.

But SHIELD high was just bland in comparison to home. To Wonderland . Not even the personalized dorms could make up for the fact that school was all year long— ew , who made that rule—instead of one day a year. Tony missed the nonsensical beauty of SI High, where the hallways ran instead of you, where you had to find the paintbrushes in passing period to paint the doors—free art credits!—, and the cafeteria that was switched with the auditorium.

But the castle-teria at SHIELD was just a long hall with rows and rows of marvel benches, pillars in the corners to honor the greek storylines and pay tribute to the last generation of Fairytale legends.

It was so boring. And just looking at it made Tony want to *poof* right there and then.

“Hi Tony,” Steve Rogers asked, coming behind him in the castle-teria, “Need a place to sit?”

Oh and this, this was another thing Tony wasn’t fond of. Transferring to SHIELD high meant he actually was walking among the children of fairy tale legend. Disgusting.

Father was too fond of them, far too fond of them. Back when Wonderland and Ever After had many open portals between one another—back before the curse on Wonderland by the Evil Queen of the HYDRA family. Howard was an ambassador , the git.

Howard didn’t get the White Rabbit legacy as Tony did, no, Uncle Jarvis had. Howard was a part of the Wakandan court, one of many peace ambassadors to the other royal families, particularly the ones in Ever After. Oh, the tales Tony was told as a young bunny, of the Rogers Family’s legacy brought forth by the apple, of the Red Hooded Romanoffs, and the Rose pricked Wilsons.

Tony was glad he didn’t have to walk among them at SI High, he was content to only have to see them in the crowd at Legacy day. Tony was actually really excited for Legacy day, his own legacy wasn’t following his father, but rather his mother and Uncle Jarvis. Signing his page in the Storybook of Legends was a milestone Tony didn’t mind looking forward to.

However Tony also understood why James Barnes, heir to the Evil Queen, wouldn’t want to sign. To each their own, he supposes.

But ugh, SHIELD high had too many Princes, he hated it.

His nose twitching, Tony ducked away from Rogers—who was bigger, blonder, and oh the clocks was that a red crown on his stupid head? “Thanks, but no thanks, golden boy. I’ll just—uh—”

He looked out at the rows and rows of tables, at the heads of up-dos and flower pins, and the sea of gelled down curls and impeccable sleeves. Seriously how does no one have a stain on their shirt? It’s mud-loaf day!

There! Out in the crowd, a hand popped out waving him over, Tony grinned, popping up a bit and rushing away from the other guy, “See ya, Rogers!”

“Bye…?”

Resisting the urge to stick out his tongue, Tony padded away with swift steps, the click of his shoes drowned out by the noise of the castle-teria. Reaching the table in the back, he grinned at the sight of familiar friends.

He wasn’t the only one apart of the exchange program of course, in fact, he was the second wave of students, prepared by letters sent by the other students. Tony had his own assigned group of the next exchange student. A lovely little trio of kids. Peter would not stop asking about the royal classes offered at SHIELD and MJ was more interesting in the classes offered by Maria Hill. Tony wouldn’t know, of course, he switched out of those classes the second day after running into pig shit mid-chase. For a house on chicken legs, it was surprisingly very fast.

Virginia ‘Pepper’ Potts was donned in swirls of light peach and blue with subtle armor around her waist and shoulders. Her hair was curled, pinned away from her face in a half updo, with the rest falling around her and nearly touching the table as she leaned in to pat the now empty spot across from her.

“Tony!” She exclaimed, freckles dancing across her face as she broke out into a smile, “got lost?” She teased.

Tony blew a raspberry, “Pssht, no, How could I get lost here? Wonderland was more interesting, this place is just boring,” he waved, twirling his fork in his food.

T’challa laughed, the matte gold detailing on his black jacket catching the light beans from the windows, it covered his purple and black card-like patterned dress shirt “That’s what you think, Stark. But with everything looking the same, you’ll pass by the same five classrooms over and over without noticing.”

Tony also laughed, “True. Remember, how—when you missed the upside-down sidewalk outside of bio-mechanics—you could end up in fishing class because of the fountain step? Every time the freshmen would come in dripping halfway through class.”

“Oh, does everyone still call them fish?” Sharon asked, pulling out Earl the dormouse from her empty teacup. He hopped up her shoulder to hide in her mini top hat. Her suit jacket was draped over her shoulders—rather than it being on the bench—and her cream shirt had mini hats detailed, blending in with the folds as it was only a few shades darker.

“Classically,” Tony replied with a wink. They turned back to their conversations, gossiping about their peers such as Maximoff—from Cinderella’s line—who was enamored with Vision—from the hunter’s line. Scandalous.

Tony halfheartedly listened to the discussion but was really on the verge of nodding off. His roommate—Justin Hammer, stupid son of the Cheshire cat—kept playing pranks on him and ruining his things with paint bombs. He almost got a fairy fail in physics because his latest essay had swamp goop over it! He had to stay up rewriting it, which wouldn’t be a problem normally but he had stayed up trying to make weld a new type of gear for his pet project.

Tony must have dozed off for a bit, because when he blinked open his eyes, he was resting on his elbows, folded under some familiar fabric. Blinking blearily at the side of his tray, Tony sat up. Well, that’s embarrassing, so much for his reputation. Pushing a hand through his hair, he avoided glancing around and instead went to look at his lap and pull out his pocket watch. However, someone else reached out to poke his side, resulting in a leap and an ‘eep!’.

“Hey there, sleeping beauty!” Rhodey smirked at him, “I think you and Wilson were supposed to have each other’s destinies. That was some impression you were doing.”

Damn him, Damn it all. Of course , Tony would fall asleep right then and there, drooling over his arms in front of James Rhodes . Of course the first time he’d see the precious son of the Alice bloodline—after literal years in different worlds—would be when he’s conked out in front of his dripping mashed potato tray in the flipping Greek castle-teria. Unbelievable, Tony.

And Rhodes— Rhodey —has the literal audacity to sit there with a playful smirk on his face. Sit there in his v-neck— v-neck!!! —map patterned shirt that should make him look like a dork but he doesn’t , and a necklace that dips over his collarbone —and oh stars —his hair .

Tony really should say something, “Uh—Hi, honey bear?” His voice cracks, because of course, it does.

“Hi, Tones,” Rhodey replies with a smile, and it’s dazzling . Tony just might scream.

Everything is muted, he couldn’t tell you if Pepper and Sharon were still talking, if T’challa had left the table or if lunch was even over. It feels like, for a brief moment, there’s only Rhodey.

Rhodey, who’s turning around to address someone else. Tony also looks away, trying to keep his ears from burning up and turning red.

“Tony, were you drawing in your mash potatoes?” Rhodey looks over, pressing slightly against Tony to peer over at his tray.

Which prompts Tony to dart out and pull the tray towards him with a, “Nooooo?”

Rhodes looks back at him, raising an eyebrow, “Really?”

“Maybe~?”

That prompted a laugh out of him, gaining the attention of Pepper sitting a bit away from them. “Oh, Tony’s still doing that? I thought that was only a Wonderland thing.”

“Hey!” Tony wrinkled his nose and glared at her, silently grateful at the fact that pulled him out of mentally gaping like a fish at his best friend—are they even best friends anymore? Rhodey probably has like a billion of them at SHIELD. “I can do it anywhere. It’s called art.”

“You wouldn’t know art if it slapped you in the face.”

Tony opened his mouth, literally about to say, ‘I mean if Rhodey slapped me in the face I would say he’s art.’ before he’s stopped by the one jellybean of a brain cell in the back of his mind.

Well that and Rhodey’s “If anyone can bring wonder with them to SHIELD, it would be Tony.”

Which, oKAY , Tony needs to stop exploding inwardly and actually say something, “Um, speaking of wonder, does anyone know anything about that one well myth?”

“The well of wonder?” Sharon asked, polling her hand from her mouth where she was probably stifling giggles, which rude, ok.

T’challa also answered, “I believe I might be of help. Why are you asking Tony?”

Tony darted a look at Rhodey—he can’t see his face because he’s looking at T’challa, but he swears that under the table his fist clenches. Weird—before looking at T’challa, “It’s a surprise,” He winked.

And it was! But for Rhodey. He was supposed to have it done pre-meeting him at lunch, but thanks to Hammer he missed his mental deadlines. It wasn’t like he had sought out Natasha Romanoff beforehand to ask about James’ schedule so he could know when they had lunch together or anything, absolutely not.

See—back when in Wonderland—, Tony and Rhodey would galavant about, exploring the lands and falling down many rabbit holes, quite literally. Tony remembers how in his workshop, Rhodey would always love seeing Tony design the swords and spears for the Wonderland card-guards—the Dora Milaje. However what Tony specialized in was watch-making, specifically enchanted watches. Watches with personality, with faces that weren’t just hands and numbers or mini mirror-pods, but near people like. Pixel-faires born of Tony’s creation. DUM-E was his first.

‘You’ was meant for Rhodey, he’d been making them ever since he heard he was chosen for the second era of exchange students. It really shouldn’t have taken so long, but without the wonder of Wonderland and his workshop, it was harder.

So when he heard about the well of wonder, the last remain flow between the two worlds, he knew he had to find it. Too bad it disappeared every night, popping up all over Ever After.

“It would be best to go with someone Tony,” Sharon said, “The well likes to frequent the forest.”

“I could go with you!” Rhodey exclaimed, well not exclaimed, that was just Tony projecting. Mostly... Maybe? No, probably.

“Really?” Tony asked, “You don’t—?”

“It’s my free period anyway," Rhodey shrugged, “Besides you’re already using my jacket, so now you can wear it in the forest too!”

“I—” Tony looks back at the table, and oh.

Oh , that’s what he was sleeping on.

T’challa mentioned stopping by their—his and Rhodey’s—dorm so they can get directions. There’s more regaling of the well, and mentions of seeing Bruce Banner and Thor frequenting the area, which ooo? But all Tony really remembers is seeing Rhodey reaching over, draping his jacket over Tony’s shoulder.

“It’s a date,” Rhodey grinned with a dazzling smile.

~FIN~

So do you like who is who? I didn't recast everyone, but I might continue this AU so maybe I will later down the line! Please let me know what you think in the comments and leave a kudo too! Love you all!!!

#tony stark #tony stark fic #ironhusbands #ironhusbands fic #tonyrhodey #tonyrhodey fic #tony stark x james rhodes #james rhodey rhodes #james rhodes #fanfiction #marvel/ever after high fusion #ever after high #marvel #mcu #vix writes #my writing #long lost #link post

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puccbunni · 4 years

Text

“Friends”

| Auston Matthews | Maple Leafs |

{ Fuck Up the Friendship - Leah Kate }

Sooo this is my first ever Imagine. I hope you guys like it and sorry for any mistakes, I think I got them all but... Honestly I got a little bored and with the return to play yesterday I figured I’d give a little love for our favourite NHL boys.

WARNINGS:

Swearing

Drinking

Smut (sorry!! Not sorry 🙄)

———————————————————————

You had grown up living next door to Steph and when she began dating Mitch, the three of you became as thick as thieves, so when you and Steph got excepted into Western and moved in together the bond only grew stronger. Mitch often joked around saying he was the real third wheel of the relationship, so he would often invite one of his team mates along so he had company whenever you, Steph and Mitch would hang out. For that reason you had gotten to know Auston pretty well over the last few years and had even became pretty good friends but that was all it ever was, Friends. Sure you had both thought the other was attractive, but you never acted on those thoughts.

After your mid year exams were finally over you and Steph had decided to go out and celebrate making it through the hell that was exam week.

“Would you mind if I invited Mitch?” Steph asked as she bought all of her make up in to your room and started getting ready for the night ahead.

“No of course not I haven’t seen him in ages!” You reply knowing full well that with Mitchs schedule lately and Stephs exams, she hadn’t seen her boyfriend in at least a month.

A wide smile spread across her face as she quickly typed a message to Mitch. He quickly replied back saying that he’d meet us at the club and was bring a few of the boys along cause they missed the two of you as well.

After you finished getting ready, you down a few shots before calling an Uber and making your way to the club. For the first time since knowing the boys you and Steph had somehow managed to beat the rest of the group to your destination. Not wanting to waste any time Steph dragged you to the bar and order two rounds of shots and two cocktails to ‘start off the night’. You down the shots of tequila feeling the slightly golden liquid burn it’s way down your throat and you quickly chased them with the fruity drink that the bartender had just delivered to you, you both thanked him and headed to the booth Mitch had reserved for the night. After 20 minutes and another two rounds of cocktails later the boys were still yet to arrive, feeling buzzed all you wanted to do now was dance, so you decided that you weren’t waiting any longer for the boys and moved down to the dance floor that was starting to become more crowed with intoxicated bodies as the minutes ticked by. A few minutes had passed and Steph who was somehow slightly more intoxicated than you indicated that she needed water, not wanting to leave your new found happy place you simply nodded and went back to swaying with the music. You stayed like this trapped in an alcohol induced trance swaying to the beat of the music playing loudly through the speakers of the club until you felt two large, muscular arms wrap around you waist and pick you up and start to spin you. Panic floods your body as your eyes shoot open to see who your attacker was, you look down and recognise the tattoos that dance up one of the arms of the man that still had you lifted off the ground. As he put your feet back on the ground you try to spin to face him but stumbled slightly due to the alcohol you had ingested.

“Wow there, easy tiger” Auston shouted, barley auditable over the music.

You slapped him in the chest.

“Auston you scared the shit out of me!”

Auston simply laughed and pulled you into a hug.

“Sorry Y/N, I don’t mean to scare you.”

“Where’s everyone else?” You ask looking around slightly as he released you from the hug but kept his hands resting on your hips.

“Over at the bar, we can keep dancing though.” He said leaning in a little closer.

You could tell that although he had just arrived, that Auston had had the same idea as you and had probably down a few drinks before he left because he seemed bolder, more confident, if that was even possible.

You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Oh no buddy, we can go to the bar and you can buy me a drink for giving me a heart attack!” you joked poking your finger into his broad chests, taking a step back to try and gain a little bit of distance between the two of you.

Auston just rolled his eyes but nodded, placing his large hand on your lower back and guiding you to the bar. When you get there you are greeted by the rest of the group. Mitch was standing with his arms around Stephs waist as she giggles at something Willy had just said to her. Kappy and Paige were stood next to him and Freddie was on the other side of Mitch ordering a drink from the bartender.

“Hey there she is!” Willy said pulling you into a hug.

“Long time no see stranger.” You reply with a smile.

You say hello to the rest of the group and turn back to Auston just in time for him to hand the same cocktail you had been drinking earlier with Steph. You thank him and down it quickly not realising how thirsty you were until you had finished the entire drink within a few moments.

“Ohhh so it’s going to be one of those nights.” Freddie laughs as you place the now empty glass back on the bar. You shrug with a smirk plastered on your face.

“Hey I deserve it! This last week has been hell!”

“Cheers to that!” Steph says raising her half empty glass then chugging the remainder of the contents down. Everyone laughs and Mitch rolls his eyes knowing that he is in for a very long an interesting night. You all grab a few drinks and head over to the booth and slip into an easy conversation about life, hockey, work basically just catching up with everyone. You were sat in between Freddie and Auston which left you with very little space and as the night progressed, the more the two of them spread out, leaving you sandwiched between them with no space to move. Auston raised his arm closest to you and placed it on the back of the chair behind your head.

“You comfortable?” He asks as you slid closer to him and into the small space he had created for you.

“Yeah, I forget how big you boys are.” You laugh.

You shuffled your legs as they still didn’t have quite enough room and Freddie’s foot kept getting dangerous close to stepping on your toes. Your knee knocked Austons and he looked down at what you were doing. He used his free hand to grab your legs and swing them over one of his thick thighs pulling you closer towards him. You look up at him with a questioning look.

“What?” Auston asks.

You shake your head and mumble nothing whilst going back to sipping on your drink and trying to pay attention to what Paige was saying.

But your eyes kept darting back to Auston. You had never been this close to him before, never close enough to smell his cologne, never close enough to feel his warm breath on your bare shoulder and maybe it was the alcohol talking, but you liked it. You liked being this close to him, it felt safe and warm. No one seemed to notice, that you were basically sitting in Austons lap, or if they did it didn’t really bother them the way it was bothering you. Everything was hazy and you weren’t entirely sure if it was just the alcohol that was impacting your judgement or Auston’s presence as well, but as his free hand dropped to you bare thigh and started rubbing small circles absentmindedly just above your knee, you knew he was definitely having some sort of effect on you and the smug look on his face told you he knew it too.

”You okay there Y/N?” He ask his lips almost touching your ear.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You reply keeping yourself facing forward, not trusting yourself enough to make eye contact with him.

His fingers started to move closer to the hem of your very short dress and you instinctively squeeze your thighs together as an ache started to spread in between your legs. He let out a small breathy laugh,

“You sure your okay Baby.”

At the sound of the nickname he had just bestowed onto you, your desire spiked through the roof and you were about willing to let this man, your friend, do absolutely anything he wanted to you right then and there. But Freddie’s laugh bought you plummeting back to reality and you remembered that you were sat at a table, with your friends, in a very public club. You quickly grabbed Auston wrist before his fingers could go any higher.

“Someone will notice!” You whisper harshly.

“And?” He cocked his eyebrow.

“And, I am not doing this here!” You exclaim.

“Then let’s get out of here.” He said raising his drink casually back up to his lips, like he hadn’t just asked you to go home with him.

“What?” You ask shocked at his question. You quickly looked around the table and thanked your lucky stars that everyone seemed to be too deep in conversation with one another to have noticed your very shocked expression.

“You said you aren’t doing this here, so the logical solution would be to get out of here.” He stated like it was a commonly known fact. You rolled your eyes.

“I am not going home with you Auston.”

“Oh I think you will change your mind.” You weren’t looking at him but you could practically feel his smirk dripping off his words.

You tried to move your legs off his thigh but his hand grab them halting your movements, before sliding them back up his leg. You knew he was right if you stayed in this position you would change your mind, actually you really wouldn’t because your mind already wanted to go home with him. Your mind wanted to feel his skin on yours, his lips discovering every part of your body, that’s what your mind and your body wanted. But the small amount of common sense you had left was screaming out that this was a bad idea, a terrible idea, that you were friends and that’s all you ever will be and that this is just the alcohol talking not Auston, the real, sober Auston.

“I need to got to the bathroom.” You state and push his hand off your leg and half shove him out of the booth.

You quickly make your way through the crowded club and into the bathroom where you lock yourself in one of the cubicles. God you needed to get a grip. This is Auston we are talking about, Auston freaking Matthews. You were friends JUST friends, so why the hell did you want to sleep with him right now? And even better question since when did he want to sleep with you? You had never been flirty with each other before, granted you had always been seeing other people and had never really been single at the same time before. But still you had never thought you were his type or vice versa. After a few deep breaths you finally managed to pull yourself together and calm you nerves and your growing desire enough to face him again. You unlocked the cubicle and checked your appearance in the mirror touching up your lipstick up slightly and opened the bathroom doors. As you took a step out of the bathroom Auston grabbed you by the waist pulled you into him and smashed his lips down onto yours. You raised your two hands and shoved him off you slightly.

“Hey I just touched up my lipstick, asshole.”

Auston laughed and dipped his forehead down so it rested on yours.

“That’s all you have to say right now Y/N?”

“I- umm I..” you stutter as you fully take in the fact that he had just kissed you. Auston Matthews had just kissed you.

“You kissed me.” You state rather stupidly looking into his eyes.

“I did and I very much want to do it again.” He says using one of his hands to cup your face.

He starts to lean in.

“If you don’t want this just tell me to stop Y/N.” His eyes scanning yours for any kind of uncertainty.

But you couldn’t be more certain, you wanted him and that small ounce of common sense you had left evaporated the second his lips touched yours.

“I want you.” You whisper, you aren’t even sure if he heard you over the music, but the smile that spreads across his face confirms that he does.

“Good cause I really want to ruin that damn lipstick now.” He growled crashing his lips back into yours.

You weren’t sure how long it was that you were making out with Auston or who saw but honestly you didn’t really care. You were too caught up in each other, you know you had somehow managed to break apart from each other long enough to call an Uber and text Steph that you weren’t feeling well and were going to head home. The next thing you know you are stumbling through the front door of Austons apartment. He pushed you up against the wall after slamming the door shut behind you, his tongue tasting like the whisky he had been sipping on.

“Bedroom” you say as his lips moved down to you neck.

“Needy are we?” He chuckles against your neck.

“Shut up.” You moan as he starts sucking at your sweet spot just behind your ear. Your hands running up his neck and then up into his soft curls.

He takes you to his room and pushes you on his bed and takes of his shirt. You prop yourself up on your elbows and rake your eyes up his bare chest drinking in the sight of him before you.

“Like what you see baby.” He smirks.

You roll your eyes at his cockiness.

“Eh, it’ll do.” you shrug and he scoffs.

He grabs you by your ankles and drags you to the end of his bed. He pulls your dress up over your head, leaving you laying in a matching black lace set that you know makes you look good.

“Like what you see baby.” You mock him as you catch him staring at you the same way you were doing to him moments before.

“It will do.” He reply’s and you both start laughing.

He crawls on to the bed, your lips dancing with his as his large body covered yours with ease. You both shuffle up the bed until your head hits the pillows. He starts kissing your neck, sucking and biting slightly as his large hand squeezes you boobs over your lace bra. He reaches behind you and unclips your bra sliding the material down your arms and tossing it across his room.

You unbutton his jeans and helped him get them off. You start palming his already hard dick through his boxers and as you felt him heavy in your hand it became more and more unbearable not having him in you. You were thankful when he looped his fingers in the band of your underwear and dragged them down your legs. As soon as your underwear was discarded his fingers are dancing on your clit.

“Ah, fuck.” You moan causing him to smirk for the millionth time that night.

“God you’re so wet baby.” He says against your neck as his lips leave a hot trail down your neck to your left breast taking your hardening nipple into his mouth. Your back arches and you moan louder as he slips a finger into you entrance.

“Aus, please.” You gasp throwing your head back against the pillows.

“Want do you want Y/N?” He asks whilst slipping another finger in you.

“I want you.” You say for the second time that night, not caring how needy you sounded.

He quickly rids himself of his boxers and grabs a condom off his bedside table and rolls it down his length. He lined his tip up with your entrance.

“You sure Y/N.” He asks in a quiet voice, checking your eyes for any sign of hesitation.

You cupped his face kissing his lips softly.

“Yes.” You answer without a shred of doubt.

He pushes into you slowly aware that his length was a lot for you to take in. He stills momentarily once your pelvises touch and he is fully sheathed inside of you, stretching you in the most delicious way. Auston captures your moan in his mouth as he moves his hips back before snapping them forward again. His thrusts were firm and once you had adjusted, his pace quickened to a relentless pace that had you seeing stars.

“Fuck Y/N.” He groaned as you raked you nails down his back.

Sweat had began to gather on his brow and the base of his neck making some of his dark curls stick to the skin. The harder and fast he thrusted into you the louder you both got. You felt the small bubble in your stomach start to grow.

“God, fuck I am close.” Auston moaned dropping his hand down to your clit again to bring on your release on faster.

You felt his thrust become sloppy as you began to tighten around him.

“Don’t stop.” You begged as the bubble within began to burst and you came hard around his member, Auston found his high moments after yours. He rolled off of you and got up to discard the condom before slipping back into bed next you, pulling the blankets up over your naked bodies and you tightly into his chest where you both quickly fell asleep wrapped up in each other.

The next morning you woke up just before five, your legs tangled up with Austons, his large arm draped across your torso and you could hear his light snores telling you that he was still asleep. You carefully untangle yourself and slip from the bed, grabbing your clothes that were scattered around his room and you sneak out of his apartment before your ‘friend’ has the chance to wake up.

#imagines #auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #auston matthews smut #auston matthews x reader #toronto maple leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #toronto maple leafs smut #nhl imagines #nhl smut #nhl #nhl return to play #fanfic #fiction #writers on tumblr

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candygirl101x · 5 years

Text

Romance MD: Always on Call Munechika Takado Review (if you can really call it that)

Honestly I wasn’t expecting to write a review on this, because; 1. I wasn’t the slightest bit interested in the newest release. 2. And secondly…well I don’t write reviews.

But I haven’t seen that much noise about this title yet; whether that’s due to the lack of interest, the lengthy time it takes to read this whole story, the frustrating amount of hearts (A.K.A your hard earned dollar) you have to spend to achieve a SHE, or perhaps all of the above.

When I saw advertisements for Love 365’s latest release, I honestly didn’t give a damn. Oh joy, another Love Choice title (which by the way everyone asked for…not), the same old character types (I felt like Voltage should’ve changed their name to ‘Oresama’s R Us’) and I didn’t take a liking to any of the character’s physical looks either (except Kasumi, what a babe.)

So when Romance MD was finally released I wasn’t rushing to read it. Lately I’ve been more preoccupied reading another otome (Mr Love Queen’s Choice, if anyone is interested) rather than any releases on Love 365 as it just isn’t giving me that enticing story that I’d throw away life’s commitments in an instant to read. After reading Takado’s story, I only wish that I’d stop judging a book by it’s cover (although I know I definitely won’t).

I found myself reading through the story mostly because it was free (we already know the debate on that one, in the end I think I spent £14) and because I was bored. However, it wasn’t long before I found myself being sucked into the story and just thoroughly enjoying the interactions between the characters.

The MC

I could describe the MC as a breath of fresh air, I could describe her as a complete car crash but I feel as though a more accurate description is Marmite. For those of you who don’t know (probably anyone outside of the UK), Marmite is a food spread that people have on toast/sandwiches etc. The debate is that there are thousands of people who love Marmite more than their firstborn child but on the other hand there’s equally as many people who think Marmite is the work of Satan himself, and would find their dog’s faeces more appetising. So I can’t help but feel like you’ll love her for being new, exciting and different…or you’ll hate her because she’s extremely arrogant, a know-it-all and just plain annoying.

Reasons to love the MC:

She’s clever, like really clever. I have no idea what half those words mean that come out of her mouth but this girl knows her shit.

She’s determined and persistent. I mean, I guess all MC’s are when I think about it but it’s generally a good trait to have. The MC doesn’t let Takado out of her sight for a second, even using her skills of being on the track team in highschool to sprint after him when he tries to run away which is highly hilarious. Although can you imagine an MC who isn’t persistent? We’d have no story. Kind of funny thinking about that actually, an MC who just says “Right! I’ve had enough of you abusing me, I’m off home to eat ice cream and watch Netflix. You continue cutting people’s legs off willy nilly like they can grow back.”

She’s relatable. I can’t stress this one enough. Yeah maybe not the medical textbook mumbo jumbo but the social awkwardness and the constant daydreams of Sekai (her otome boyfriend) is something many of us can understand.

She’s not a sheep. This girl has a mind of her own. I take my hat off to her for going up against her superior’s when she thinks something is wrong, I don’t have that kind of backbone.

Reasons to hate the MC:

She can be plain rude. Like I can praise the girl for sticking up for herself but sometimes she’s a little too tart-tongued for my liking. I did cringe a bit, wishing she’d dial things back from time to time.

Missing some classic MC traits, comes across as arrogant. I mean, I guess this one is personal preference. I do like the more outgoing MC who isn’t afraid to speak her mind, but surely it’s natural to not be so arrogant in front of doctors who have years of experience on you? Like the MC is 26, I’m pretty sure all of the guys are 30+ (pretty sure Takado is 35) and have been doctors for a longer time than the MC has even been training to be a doctor. I did find myself missing the humble, kind hearted MC a bit. You really don’t have to be arrogant to be a strong willed woman, my favourite MC is the MC from Our Private Homeroom, I felt like she had a good mix of all the traits.

Can be annoying. Like there’s a time and place to be talking about the topic you’re currently spouting on about MC, and now definitely isn’t the correct time/place.

I was honestly saying the same thing to myself Tak

Takado

Takado himself is not necessarily anything we haven’t seen before. He’s not hiding anything you probably haven’t already guessed. Him and the MC have frequent domestics (which 9 times out of 10 end in her being hit over the head with a file) in places they should definitely not be having domestics, which in itself provides a series of highly entertaining scenes, for not only us but also the rest of the ICU doctors. He doesn’t baby the MC, he tells her when she’s done messed up but does also show signs of kindness behind his stoney façade, especially more towards the end of the story. I also appreciated that his backstory was more than meets the eye, there’s nothing I find more boring than a predictable plot line. Generally, I found him likeable. In fact, more often than not I felt sorry for him for having to put up with the absolute garbage that drops out of the MC’s mouth. I dunno how the hell he ended up falling in love with her too, I’d run a mile if that was me. But then again I did pay £14 for him, so if he didn’t I’d be god damn pissed.

He is equally (actually even more so) as intelligent as the MC, without bragging about how much he knows which was rather refreshing. I mean he does call the MC a thousand different variants of the word stupid, but every single time was justified in my eyes.

Although one thing I must say...

God damn son.

Stuff to Note

One thing I need to comment is holy smokes, how long is this story? When I saw the looming 30 chapters I figured that they were probably going to be over faster than my money leaves my account on payday, but boy how wrong I was. Now this almost certainly is a money grab in order to get you to spend more hearts to get the “good choices” but despite that, I was really impressed with just how long the story took me to read. Maybe I’m just getting old, but usually on any main story I can bash it out in under 2 hours. With this, I actually had to stop myself from reading and go the hell to sleep because it was 4 in the morning. When I checked the next day to what chapter I was on, I thought I was tripping when I realised I’d only just made it halfway through the story. Voltage kudos to you. The story was the perfect length to have good plot pacing, decent character development and satisfying romance at the end.

Now granted if you’re looking for a lovey-dovey romance throughout the whole story this isn’t the route for you. The romance doesn’t really kick start until at least 3/4 of the way through this route, and even then it’s nothing that exciting. The MC struggles to understand what love even is herself, having her only boyfriends being fictional otome men (the relatability is real), she finds herself unable to register what those feelings are. It’s not until a playful bullying from the other ICU doctors and a dictionary search that she realises she’s in love.

But in general, I found Takado’s route an enjoyable read with well placed comedic timing and good focus on the the more serious side of things when it was important. So if you find yourself bored like me, maybe just give it a read. Just don’t come at me with torches and pitchforks when you’re $15 poorer.

Moments I Particularly Enjoyed

The reminder that you are in fact reading the correct story

The scientific breakdown of kabedon

The obvious sarcastic remarks, that the socially inept MC doesn’t understand

The casual discussion of banging in the workplace

Pros and Cons

Pros

Character Development. I feel like both the MC and Takado showed character development. The MC when she finally figured out she has to stop being so damn arrogant and realise the consequences of when she opens her mouth. And Takado, that he can’t just tell people they’re having their leg cut off and just walk off.

Length. Need I say more.

Good pacing. Story progresses, MC progresses, Romance progresses. Good job guys.

Well written. Actually laughed out loud a fair few times whilst reading this story, which I definitely wasn’t expecting. Also whoever came up with the idea of the character sprites holding up a board for comic effect is a god damn genius.

Good group dynamics. I mean it’s not KBTBB, but I enjoyed reading the interactions between all the ICU doctors. Hopefully with more releases we’ll be able to see more of their relationship with each other.

Cons

Love Choice. I mean you can read this story completely free…just you won’t know any of the back story, you won’t get any of the romantic moments and you’ll get the shit ending. But if you’re happy spending $15 for a main story then this is a pro I suppose.

Lacking in romance. Now I’m not saying there isn’t any, I personally don’t have an issue with how things progressed (I much prefer the romance to come in following stories like epilogues and sequels) but I have a feeling if you’re after something with a lot of romance running throughout it, this story won’t be for you.

Too many legs were harmed in the making of this route. People be getting their legs cut off more times than I’ve had hot dinners. Everyone thinks Takado goes around cutting people’s legs off for fun…and honestly you can’t blame them for thinking that.

Not many CGs. Remember the days when we had 6 CGs for a main story? I know I’m being picky but having 1 CG in episode 1 and the last CG in the SHE, that only leaves 2 other CGs for 28 episodes. If you’re gonna have a main story that long, surely you can spare another CG or two Voltage?

I’ve put the character sprites and the CGs below a read more button so people can avoid spoilers. So if you’re interested in what I’ve officially renamed the characters keep reading :) VVVVVVVV

Starring

Dr.Amputation (I’m telling you now, you wouldn’t want this one for your general health checkup) (Takado)

Angry Coach (Takao)

Angry Coach’s Wife (Who I’ve actually forgotten the name of)

Darling Boy (Haruto)

Darling Boy’s mother (Yoko)

Flirty McGee (Hosho)

Kasumi’s Die-hard Fan (but can you blame him?) (Kyogoku)

Dean the Absolute Meme (Matsunaga)

Ghost Hospital Director (Seriously, I think we see him like once in the whole route(why is he even on this list? Because I already had a screenshot and I’d figured I might as well use it) (Usagida)

ICU’s On-Call Doctor Dealer (Ekuni)

Total Babe (Kasumi) (Just you wait till your ass is out bitch)

Also can you blame me?

Ultimate Waifu (Missy)

Partner in Otaku Crime (Asuka)

Cute Penguin (Watch out Sydney, she’s coming for your top spot on the favourite Voltage mascot list and probably your large swimming pool) (Kalmia)

A reformed KBTBB Villain (Mario)

The Main Character (Sekai)

The Actual Main Character (Why we see her sprite for one split second I’m not overly sure, but yeah hard pass Voltage)

CGs

Episode 1

Episode 18

Episode 27

SHE

Now if I were you, I’d go and actually find a good review to read. Like @aqvarius

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niall-is-my-dream · 5 years

Text

Songbird - Part Two

“When Erin decides to perform one of her favourite songs at a bar, she didn’t expect one of the singers, Niall Horan, to be in the audience. What started as an appreciation for her cover quickly turns into more than either bargained for.”

(Previously known as Fools Gold, this fic has been edited, reworked and finally finished!)

Thanks to @angryniall for being an amazing beta!

As always let me know what you think.

Em x 😘

Catch up below

https://niall-is-my-dream.tumblr.com/post/184528124078/songbird-masterlist

2965words

Erin's POV

You caught the tube into Camden, annoyed at yourself for only putting on your short jacket considering how cold the air was tonight. It really did feel like Christmas time in London. Lights sparkling in the windows of the shops and bars, lots of people out on Christmas work nights celebrating.

You arrived at the bar, finding your work colleague's already there and starting on the gin menu. You were out with 5 work friends including Kathy and were laughing at a joke about Laura's husband when you heard your phone beep.

Taking your phone out of your bag, you glanced at the message.

"Most beautiful girl in the room. X"

You smiled, and couldn't believe he was here.

"Oh really??!!!" You replied.

"Yeah you are. X"

"You stalking me Horan?!" You replied, looking around trying to spot him.

"No, not at all! The lads wanted to come into Camden, and I may have suggested coming in here."

You were stood on tip toes looking around the bar when you saw him. He winked when he caught your eye. You smiled back.

Fuck he looked gorgeous.

He was with 6 other lads all drinking their pints and they seem oblivious to your interaction with him. The girls in your group were still laughing at jokes about Laura's husband and hadn't noticed either.

A couple of them headed off to the loo as you ordered some more drinks.

"Oh my God!" Kathy said when she came back. "You are never going to believe who I just walked passed!"

You knew what she was going to say.

"Niall Horan!" She squealed.

"Really?!" You said trying to act surprised.

"You don't look that excited!" She said.

"I am! But he's probably just having a drink with friends, we shouldn't bother him."

"Didn't you meet him last Friday?" Donna said. "Michelle said he was in The Courtyard last week, and he spoke to you after you'd sung one of his songs."

Great.

"You did??!!!" Kathy cried. "Oh my God!"

Shit.

You'd forgotten that Donna and Michelle were friends. Of course Michelle had told her about you meeting Niall. Her big mouth was the reason you'd not told her about you and Niall texting.

"Yeah, he came and said he'd enjoyed my version of it. No big deal." You replied shrugging your shoulders.

"He's not stopped looking over here at you." Said Laura.

"We are a group of rowdy women I suspect that's why he is looking over. Anyway, I need to go to the loo." You said as you squeezed passed them.

You headed into the stall and locked the door.

You let out a long and slow breath.

Why were you so nervous at seeing him?

The texting had been easy, not having to see his face and him not having to see you blush every time he said something sweet that left you swooning.

Taking a minute to get your thoughts together, you used the loo and washed your hands before making your way to the exit.

As you left the bathroom, there he was.

"Hey stalker." You said smiling, hoping a joke would ease the nerves you were feeling right now.

"Hey you." He replied moving closer to you, so you were just inches away from each other.

"You've caused quite a stir amongst my friends. One of them heard from Michelle that we'd met and now they can't stop asking me questions, said you were looking over at me."

"Well, I can't stop looking over at you. You look stunning." He said as he reached out to grab both your hands. His fingers stroked across them in circles as he looked at you. You heart was racing from his touch.

"Is it ok that I'm here?" He asked.

"More than ok." You admitted, causing you both to smile.

He leaned forward closing the gap between you. Your bodies so close now that you could feel his breath against your skin. You moved one of your hands from his and reached up to stroke the nape of his neck, running your fingers through his soft brown hair.

"Want to kiss you so much." He whispered.

God you wanted to kiss him so much too.

His eyes looked down to your lips, noticing how you were nervously biting them.

You smiled as he leaned in, your lips meeting his and he released your other hand so his were free to snake around your waist. He pulled you in closer deepening the kiss, his tongue sneaking into your open mouth. You pulled at his hair, as his hands found your bum and you let out a moan against his mouth before you pulled away.

Both of you were breathless, heaving low pants from just one short kiss.

"I have to go. They will be wondering where I am." You said smiling, wiping away your lipstick from his mouth with your thumb.

"Ok." He sighed as he released you from his grip, his lips drawn into a pout.

"Don't pout!"

"I wasn't! OK, maybe I was." He said, as he saw you rolling your eyes. "Just wish we were alone."

"Me to. But I have to go back to my friends, I'm sorry."

"Its fine, I understand. I know you want to keep this between you and me."

Pulling your hips closer to him, he leaned in and gave you one more kiss.

He watched you walked away, you could feel his eyes on you. You felt powerful leaving him there, hungry for more. Not in a nasty, leading him on way. But a power that you'd never felt before. This man wanted you, and you wanted him.

You reached your group again and they had found a large table to sit at, the drinks were flowing and you were all laughing. You couldn't stop glancing over at Niall and his friends. You saw one of them nudge him and you recognised him as one of the lads he was with at The Courtyard. A few minutes later he came walking over.

"Hello lovely ladies." He said in his soft irish accent. "I'm Deo."

Everyone said hello and asked him how he was.

"I actually have a quick question for you." He said looking at you. "Are you the girl from The Courtyard last Friday who was singing?"

"Yes, that was me." You replied nervously.

"I told him it was you. Niall said he wasn't sure it was."

"Oh right, yes definitely me." You loved the thought that Niall had played dumb.

"You were really good"

"Thanks."

"So are you ladies out partying tonight?" He said addressing the table.

"Yes, work thing." Laura replied warmly.

"Where do you work?" He asked.

"We are midwives at The Portland Hospital." Kathy said.

"Really? Bet you see a lot of interesting things!"

"Ha! Yes we do!" Donna replied laughing.

"Mind if we join you?" Deo asked, and nodded towards Niall and his friends.

"No, not at all!" Donna said smiling and everyone seemed to be agreeing.

Oh god you thought as Deo gestured for all the lads to come over. The boys all sat down amongst you all, getting chairs from neighbouring tables. Kathy had nabbed Niall and made you move up so he could sit between you both.

"Hi." He said as he sat down. "Nice to see you again."

"Yeah, you to." You replied tucking your lips into your mouth, still tasting him from your kiss.

He was such a cheeky shit and he knew it.

The lad opposite you, who Deo introduced as Willie winked at you, and that's when you realised he was the cousin that Niall lived with, and the only person at this table who knew you two were texting each other. Deo definitely didn't know, as he seemed the type to have probably already told everyone already if he did.

Kathy soon told Niall all about her daughter Lyla, and how you'd been to his gig. He offered to have a picture done with her and you'd obliged with being the person to take it. Kathy offered to take a picture of you both in return and he wrapped his arm around your waist as you leaned against him smiling. He squeezed your hip as he released you.

Such a shit you thought smiling.

The conversation flowed after that and to be honest the lads joining you had been so fun much. They were hilarious, the girls were all in hysterics as the alcohol flowed. You and Niall were sitting so close, that your knees were touching and he'd been playing footsie with you under the table the whole night.

You were desperate to kiss him again, but there was no way you'd get to do it tonight. You'd just have to wait till after Christmas when you were planning on meeting up.

Laura and yourself had work tomorrow, and had planned on leaving by 11. This was still your plan regardless of what happened with Niall, as you needed to sleep. You'd done the night shift last night, and had only had 5 hours sleep this morning when you'd got in.

You all left the bar at the same time as Niall and his cousins as they had to leave on an early flight in the morning any way. Standing outside saying goodbye was awkward, you desperately wanted to kiss him. He licked his lips as he looked at you, ducking his head down quickly to hide his smirk. You said your goodbyes to everyone and you hailed a taxi to drive you home.

You had just slipped into some pjs and were getting into bed when your phone rang. Face time Niall.

Great, you'd just taken off your make up and were wearing an old vest top and shorts. You looked like crap, but you couldn't not accept it.

You answered it smiling when you saw he had no top on and was clearly lying in bed to.

"You Horan, are a tease!" You said giggling. The 'not drinking that much' had turned out to be a load of rubbish as you and the girls made your way down the drinks menu. You were definitely feeling the effect now.

"What??!!!" He said laughing. "Ok, I'm just paying you back for leaving me hanging earlier."

"I did not leave you hanging. I couldn't stand there kissing you all night. They would've wondered where I was! Your fault anyway for stalking me!"

"Hey, I was not stalking. Deo wanted to go out in Camden and I said that someone had recommended the bar to me, so we went there to. Couldn't resist after the picture you sent me."

"You liked that did you?!"

"You know I did. I'm kind of regretting coming to the bar though."

Your heart sunk, where was this conversation going?

"That kiss was such a tease. Wish I could kiss you now." He whispered.

"You'll just have to wait 6 days!"

"6 days?! That's too long."

"Well, you're away tomorrow till the 28th"

"Wish I could come over now and kiss you, but I've got to leave at 9am."

"I'd never let you leave if you came over now." You said.

God where the hell had that come from? The bloody gin menu that's where.

"Oh don't tell me that! Jesus!" He said turning his face in towards the pillow.

You snuggled down under the covers holding your phone in your left hand and you snuck your right hand down in your knickers stroking across your clit.

"Why not? You don't want to hear how much I want you here in my bed?" You said licking your lips.

You were so turned on by the sight of him shirtless in bed, that gorgeous chest hair just waiting to be stroked.

"Fuck, where is your other hand?" He asked biting his lip.

"In my knickers."

Jesus you should not drink ever again! The alcohol running through your veins now was making you do things you would never normally do. Including rubbing yourself while on facetime!

"Where's yours?"

"Wrapped around my cock." He mumbled.

You took in a breath and gasped at his words.

"Can't help it, been rubbing across it since I noticed your hard nipples through your vest top."

You leaned your phone against your quilt cover and used your free hand to rub across them over your top, pinching one of your nipples hard. A hearty growl escaped his lips and you knew then you'd got him. You could see his arm movements and you knew he was pumping his cock for you.

"Fuck." He mumbled.

"You like that?" You whispered to him.

"God yes, Erin you are so fucking sexy." He whispered back.

"Is your cock hard for me?"

"So hard. Are you wet for me?"

His eyes were closed now and the growls and moans escaping his lips were almost pornographic, and it was making you wetter by the second. You slipped two fingers inside yourself and used your palm to rub over your clit.

"God yes." You practically mewled back to him as you pumped your fingers faster.

"Jesus Erin, wish I could touch you right now. Wish it was my fingers knuckle deep inside you." He moaned back.

You moaned out his name as you felt a familiar feeling rising below you.

"Fuck .............. Niall I'm so close." You were writhing on your bed now, your eyes closed and your back arched as you pumped your fingers faster. Your palm causing so much friction over your clit you knew you were beginning to tumble.

The only sounds now were your moans and his growls, you knew he was close. You loved hearing him moan out your name as he stroked across his hard cock. Your breathing was hitched as you got closer to your orgasm.

"Oh fuck Niall yes." You whispered as you came. You continued to rub across your clit, not wanting it to end.

His grunts and low moans of your name told you he was coming to.

You laid there, your eyes still closed as you removed your fingers from inside you. Your breathing was beginning to steady and you finally got the courage to open your eyes. Niall was moving across his bed towards a bedside table, he was obviously cleaning himself up.

"Jesus Erin, you've made me make a right mess!" He laughed.

"Sorry!" You said pulling the covers up to hide your blushes.

"Don't be embarrassed that was fucking amazing. Never done that before and we are definitely doing it again."

"You liked that?"

"Yeah was totally unexpected to. Jeez!"

"Sorry, alcohol may have helped! I'm feeling flirty!"

"You can feel like that with me anytime!"

You just laughed and smiled, a warm glow on your face.

"Erin, I really like you." He suddenly blurted out. "I can't wait to get back after Christmas and see you."

You let out a sigh.

"I know it's going to be a slow week."

You chatted till nearly 1am before reluctantly saying goodbye.

The six days that Niall was away over Christmas weren't too bad. Work had been ok, and your Dad had picked you up from your night shift on Christmas morning and taken you back to your childhood house. You'd slept a bit, before joining in with your parents, grandparents, brothers and their partners when they played some games after dinner. Your brother's were both older than you, Ross was 28 and Luke was 31 compared to your 26. Both were married, and Luke was due to be a first time Dad in the spring.

Your phone bleeped throughout the day with messages from Niall, and it hadn't gone unnoticed from your over protective brothers.

"Who is that you're constantly texting? New bloke?" Ross had teased.

"No, just a friend"

"A friend who's a male?!" He'd teased.

"Yes, it is a male friend!"

"Thought so by the besotted teenage girl look on your face!" He laughed.

You gave him an eye roll but really you wanted to tell him to fuck off! But with your parents and grandparents around you couldn't.

"Can we face time later?" Niall had messaged. "Really want to see you x"

"Yes, but it'll be when everyone's in bed. They're all upstairs and I'm downstairs in the study. My brother's are asking me who I'm texting, I'm getting shit from them!"

"Brothers? Ok I'm worried now!"

"Yep, two older brothers!"

"Def worried now!"

"You're so cute x"

"So are you x"

Your grandparents were in bed by 10:30pm on Christmas day and the rest followed in the hour after, everyone tired by all the food your mum had provided and the early start. You were buzzing to see Niall and had text him about 11:30pm saying you were free to talk now.

Your phone rung instantly.

"Hi." He whispered. "You ok?"

"Yeah, you rang fast." You whispered back.

"I know sorry! Feel a bit like my old teenage self sitting in my old bedroom waiting for the girl I fancy to message me!"

You smirked at him. "You fancy me?"

"Just a bit." He smirked back. "Been thinking about you today."

"I've been thinking about you too." You admitted.

"What time are you working on the 28th? I'm back on an early flight."

"I'm in 7 till 4."

"Do you maybe want to see me after work?" He asked nervously, biting on his lip. "Maybe get some food delivered, and play some music or something?"

"I was thinking similar actually, you busy the day after?"

"No, are you working?"

"No I'm not, I'm off. Just wondered.........maybe if you might want to stay the night, you know if you wanted?" Now it was you who was nervously biting their lip.

"I'd like that." He said smiling.

Thanks for reading!

Tag @awomanindeniall

Let me know if you'd like to be part of a tag list.

#Niall #Niall Horan #Niall fan fic #Niall fan fiction #Niall Horan fan fic #Niall Horan fan fiction #Emily writes #Niall fluff #Niall smut

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ofheroesandheralds · 5 years

Text

OC Interview Meme - Saarnos

Tagged by: No one. Saw it by coincidence on @seboostianillustrations‘ blog, and wanted to do it.

Tagging: @taerellavellan and/or @oceans-bleed-black, and perhaps @thereluctantinquisitor and @angrykittybarbarian if any of you are in the mood to do it! I’d also love to tag @chaitea09 but tumblr won’t let me. Also, anyone who’s not tagged but in the mood to do it shall feel free to do so, and tag me too so I can take a look at all your cool OCs!

1. What is your name?

“Saarnos Adaar. That translates to ‘raging flame’.”

2. What is your real name?

“That is my real name. Or are you asking for the name my parents gave me? That would be Junior. Well... Ramin, officially, but they’d never use that.”

3. Do you know why you were called that?

”Yes, because my parents wanted me to choose my own name once I was... uh... mature enough. My father was Tal-Vashoth, and he valued freedom very highly. Especially the freedom to choose your own identity, which you couldn’t ever do under the Qun, so they called me by a neutral nickname so I wouldn’t grow too attached to the official one."

4. Are you single or taken?

He laughs.

”I wouldn’t call myself taken, but I’d lie if I said I was single, too. There is that one man I have... an affair with, whenever we both happen to be in the same place, but neither of us calls it a relationship, and we both see other people too when we’re in the mood.”

5. Have any abilities or powers?

”Plenty of them! First of all I’m a mage. A fire mage, specifically, which was the main reason for the name I chose. I’m also a damn fine dancer, an acrobat, and I could kick an apple from the top of your head while balancing on one hand and having the other one tied to my back!”

6. Stop being a Mary Sue.

He gives a huge grin.

“How am I supposed to stop being perfect at everything when I’m just... perfect at everything?”

7. What’s your eye color?

“Some would say yellow, but I prefer to call it golden.”

8. How about your hair color?

“Black. Simple as that. No touch of blue or anything, not ‘just a very dark brown’ - just black. Silky and shiny, though!”

9. Have you any family members?

“Not anymore. At least none that I know of. My parents both already passed away, and I don’t have any siblings. There were also no more relatives on my mother’s side, but since my father used to live under the Qun, we never got to know if he had any other relatives.”

10. Oh? What about pets?

“Nah. I like animals, but I’m not really the type to keep any. Taking care of another creature would interfere with my lifestyle, so I’m sparing myself of that... as well as the animals.”

11. That’s cool I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like.

He groans.

“Cold weather. I hate it. I mean, I don’t have a big problem staying warm or anything, I’ll just make my own fire, but... I can’t quite explain it, there’s just something to it that I really, really don’t like. I try to stay away from cold or rainy places. Might just be my Antivan heart!”

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

”I live for my artistry! I’ve made it into my profession, actually, it’s how I make my money most of the time. My favorite discipline is a... a mixture of dancing and fighting, I don’t know if there is a name for that specific style. But it looks quite spectacular, if I’m allowed the vanity! Especially when paired with fire.”

13. Ever hurt anyone before?

“Sure. When you live a life out travelling most of the time, at some point someone will try to rob you, and you gotta make sure they fail, right?”

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

“Not before I ran into the Inquisition. And I’m also not sure if those darkspawns count as ‘someone’.“

15. What kind of animal are you?

Again, a wide grin spreads across his face.

“If I was an animal, I’d be a tiger! Look at my vitaar, I’m on the best way there!”

16. Name your worst habits.

“Why does it have to be multiple? I can’t even think of a single bad habit I have. I guess that question is better answered by people who know me, and not myself."

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

“I don’t think so, nah.”

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

“A little bit of everything? Nah, honestly, as long as you’re an adult, and qunari like me, I couldn’t give less of a shit about what’s going on in your pants.”

19. Do you go to school?

“My father used to teach me some things when I was younger, but I’ve never been to an actual school.”

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

“Ahh, oh no, probably not. I mean, I cannot speak for what’ll be in the future, but at this point in my life, with children, it’s the same as with animals. I have nothing against them, they usually love me, but I couldn’t see myself having any. That sort of responsibility doesn’t fit into my life."

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

“Oh I bet I have, but so far there’s only one person of whom I know with certainty that he likes me.”

22. What are you most afraid of?

“Being made into a saarebas, probably. The entire idea of it is just horrible, I’d rather die than living like that.”

23. What do you usually wear?

He smirks.

“As little as possible. But when I travel, I wear some light plate, mostly around the arms and legs, as well as a shoulder piece. And a waist cloth, for some decency. Not that I gave a damn, but a lot of people seem to do.”

24. Do you love someone?

“Not romantically, if that’s what you’re asking.”

25. When was the last time you wet yourself?

“As a child. Why would you even ask that?”

26. Well, it’s not over yet!

“I am just fine, keep the questions coming!”

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class)

“I don’t know if I fit into any class. Back at home with my parents, I’d have said middle class, but now? I’ve got everything I need, so I don’t really care.”

28. How many friends do you have?

“Huh. That depends on how you define that. I've been to a lot of places, and I’ve gotten to know a lot of people, most of whom I’ve gotten along with, but if you’re talking about that ‘willing-to-die-for-each-other’ kind of friends, I... don’t think I’ve got any.”

29. What are your thoughts on pie?

“I like it. I prefer savory over sweet, though. Filled with meat and some good spices! I like it spicy.”

30. Favourite drink?

“I don’t even think I have one. Anything that has some taste to it, I like my food and drinks with some intensity.”

31. What’s your favourite place?

“Probably Antiva. And it’s not even some ‘back to the roots’ thing, it’s just nice there. I like the people, the mentality. And also it’s nice and warm.”

32. Are you interested in someone?

“I am very easily interested in people, so most of the time, I could answer that question with ‘Yes’.”

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy?

A smirk plays around his lips, while he narrows his eyes a little.

“You want me to show you? No, really! All I need to do is lift that cloth a little...! ... What? No? Hah, I thought so.”

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

“I’m not that much of a swimmer. I can do it, but not all too well, so I guess I’d prefer a lake? At least those end somewhere.”

35. What’s your type?

“Other qunari. Apart from that, I don’t have a type. Attraction comes spontaneously, I can’t tell you what traits I find more attractive than others, it really is a matter of my mood.”

36. Any fetishes?

“I like to have sex on a big pile of gold? ... What did you expect, a serious answer? Well. I’m not sure if I’d call it a fetish, but I really am into gold, meaning I like jewelry on my partners. It makes looking at an attractive body even more interesting!”

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive?

“I can do whatever feels best in the current situation. I would, however, not call myself submissive, it’s more like... letting a dominant person be dominant if that’s the only way they feel comfortable. I prefer being on one level.”

38. Camping or indoors?

“I’m very used to both, so it’s really not one over the other.”

39. Are you wanting the interview to end?

“Nah, I’m fine, I do like to talk about myself.”

40. Now it’s over!

“Aww, that was mean! Alright, it was fun to talk to you. Have a nice day!”

#OC interview meme #Saarnos Adaar #Male Adaar #m!Adaar #Imagine all of this in a moderate Antivan accent #Not too thick #But still clear to notice #Also shit when did he get so vain xD #I love it though #My blazing beacon of sin #Let it be known that I made a drawing just for this meme #Gonna upload it on its own too though

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streiknine-blog · 6 years

Photo

Task 001.

BUT RED WAS WHAT YOU WRAPPED AROUND YOU. BLOOD RED.

—Ted Hughes

BASIC INFORMATION.

Full Name: Vincent James Ouellet Nickname(s): Vin, Vinny, Strychnine, Striker; Strike Age: 28 Date of Birth: 13 February 1990 Hometown: Québec, Québec, Canada Current Location: Dertosa, California Ethnicity: white Nationality: Vincent is Canadian, but his mother was American, so he’s got dual citizenship Gender: cis male Pronouns: he/him Orientation: Vincent is bisexual — but also fun fact he’s never had sex Religion: agnostic — he doesn’t think too hard about it, but I could see him going for something like Roman Reconstructionalist if he actually put thought into it. Political Affiliation: (I don’t know stateside politics and neither does Vincent) Occupation: full-time Poison babey — see also: hitman Living Arrangements: he’s got a small apartment with sparse decorations — really what he was looking for when he got it was somewhere that he’d be able to relax and cook.

The kitchen is the most put-together part of the one-bedroom place, with well-loved pots, pans, and bakeware. A couple nice dishtowels in a white with navy stripes pattern hang from the handle of the oven, and a much more ragged bleach-worn dishtowel is usually seen on the counter (used for wiping up messes as they happen). Little (fake bullet) shell casing salt and pepper shakers sit on the back of the stove, along with a little porcelain rooster — “You have to have a rooster in the kitchen.” Vincent would say, “It’s good luck.” — which its paint is chipping from how old it is.

The living/eating area has a navy and grey rug that looks like he’s had it since he was in his early twenties (and, honestly, he has) and a dark-stained wooden table with four chairs — the insert to make it into a six person table for if he ever had the Poisons over sitting against the far wall, in plain sight — and just a single placemat, that is pastel and multi-coloured and looks like he stole it from a sixty year old’s kitchen décor, sitting on the table at all times.

He’s got a small, grey, apartment-sized couch that he likes to curl up an nap on, so there’s a throw blanket and a single pillow always on it.

Language(s) Spoken: English; French Accent: Light buzzing on ‘TH’, ‘Z’, and ’S’ sounds — a holdover from his Québécois upbringing; for the most part has a fairly neutral “Seattle accent” that he’s taught himself as a consequence of being around Americans and wanting to sound less ‘different’. Still has a light Québécois accent tinging his words.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

Face Claim: Zane Holtz Hair Colour: dark brown Eye Colour: blue Height: 6’1” Weight: 220ish lbs Build: lorge Tattoos: n/a Piercings: n/a Clothing Style: Simple, dark sweaters (navy, forest green, maroon, black), white dress shirts (buttoned to the top), dark sports coats, charcoal or black slacks are the standard, but he’ll wear dark wash jeans occasionally. Usually the jeans are paired with a crisp dress shirt (in any of the sweater colours) that may be rolled to to the elbows. If he’s doing the sweater + dress shirt + jeans outfit, his favourite combination is his maroon sweater with a navy dress shirt. He thinks he looks fancy in it. He’s not opposed to wearing light, airy colours (like powder blue, or dusty pink) but he gets a bit self-conscious when he wears them — thinking that they don’t suit him well enough for him to pull it off. So he sticks to dark colours and neutrals. They’re easier to hide bloodstains anyway, and the white shirts can be bleached.

Fan of French cuffs but never wears them because cufflinks are easy to lose at a scene. When he’s not on the job he’s totally breaking out the French cuffs and his silver cufflinks. There’s the occasional t-shirt + sweatpants combo but usually reserved for when he isn’t going out anywhere/not seeing anyone but the other poisons or the flower he’s booked.

For accessories, he’s got a dark grey tungsten carbide band that he wears on his left ring finger.

Usual Expression: neutral, vaguely aggressive leaning. His eyebrows make him look mad when he’s not holding them up in some form of expression. Distinguishing Characteristics: I’d say his biggest distinguishing characteristic is that he is tall and wide — like not only is this kid over six feet tall, he’s jacked as shit too.

HEALTH.

Physical Ailments: needs glasses, and he’s nearsighted — it’s partly why he prefers knives to guns. Neurological Conditions: nothing I can peg but I’m sure there’s Something. Allergies: n/a Sleeping Habits: king of the cat nap, and honestly whenever he can knock out he’s gonna. He snores too. Eating Habits: he eats a Lot and he’s decently healthy… please see his favourite food section for a more detailed food thing. Exercise Habits: Boy loves to workout — gotta keep fit for murder, y’know? He’s fond of free weights, and bars… boy loves a heavy deadlift, and he’s gotta bench press his friends at least once. He’s also one to do sprints for his cardio, especially resistance sprints. Gotta go fast.

He works until it burns and he’s comfortably sore. Totally one to have a protein shake with oats added after a hard workout.

Emotional Stability: Vincent isn’t necessarily the most emotionally competent but he’s also not especially volatile. He’s got his moments — blind fury or just enjoyment of a kill can cause him to go a lil overboard. When he laughs it’s a whole body laughs — boy’s gonna feel things all at once if he’s going to feel them at all. Sociability: He likes to be with other people but he is just so painfully awkward. He doesn’t quite realize sometimes that he’s making jokes that aren’t funny and that he should stop making poisoning jokes to the flower that is eating the meal he prepped himself but, hey, we can’t be perfect and Vinny certainly isn’t. Body Temperature: I’d say he’s a slight onto the warm side — summer is hell for him. Addictions: can I say the high of a kill? But nah he ain’t a straight up murder-obsessed guy, he just really loves that feeling. In all honesty, he loves sweet things. Drug Use: Never Alcohol Use: Rarely drinks — he doesn’t like the feeling of being drunk/tipsy, but he will go for a lite beer or two, or a mixed drink that is “light on the alcohol, heavy on the mix, please.”

PERSONALITY.

Label: the aggressor; the cold-blooded; the loyalist Positive Traits: Fearless, determined, willing Negative Traits: Ruthless, detached Goals/Desires: his biggest thing is having a balance to things, it’s a driving force behind his actions. Fears: spiders — too many legs they creep him out. Hobbies: cooking, reading, watching movies Habits: absently rotates his wrists/cracks his fingers when he’s focused on something. Mutters in French under his breath if he’s trying to figure something out.

FAVOURITES.

Weather: cold, crisp winter day with large snowflakes floating down lazily — not a flurry, just pleasant and relaxing. Probably around -15C / 5f. Colour: navy and light blue Music: top 40 hits — 22 year old Vincent was the type to sing along to ‘Call Me Maybe’ in his car by himself. Movies: comedies, supernatural themes, French and Québécois cinema. Sport: Lacrosse; hockey (fan of the Canadiens and the Maple Leafs) Beverage: Hot chocolate!

He’s one to pick the drink up from a coffee shop on the way to an appointment, or to make himself a fresh one after he’s back home. He has several different kinds of it — from those hot chocolate wands, to tins of powdered mix, to single-serve portions of it for a on-demand coffee machine — and he’s not picky. He likes the sweetness of it, and, if he’s getting one from a coffee shop, makes sure to ask for extra chocolate sauce. At home it depends how tired he is. It’ll either be basic, with just hot milk and melted chocolate or fancier on his days off with tiny marshmallows or peppermint syrup. He especially likes to make hot chocolate for those he considers friends.

Food: He’ll give most things a try, honestly.

He’s definitely fallen back on the ‘pan seared broccoli with wild rice and baked chicken breast (with smoked paprika, thyme, and black pepper)’ as a basic dinner meal for when he’s feeling lazy. If he’s not feeling lazy the sky is the fucking limit. He’ll make everything from a whole chicken or a roast with accompanying veggies, to stir-frying tofu and veggies. For lunch he’s usually eating something he’s packed — quinoa, lemon-dill salmon, asparagus; rare steak, sweet potatoes, broccolini; Cobb salad with an extra hardboiled egg or two; homemade “instant” ramen in a jar — and for breakfast he’ll either just straight up have a protein shake with oats and fruit, or some of the egg muffins he makes every few days (mushroom, cheese, ham,, quinoa) or he’ll really go all out and have French Toast or waffles.

Homemade stovetop mac n cheese is a comfort food he likes if he wants something quick (25 minutes, start to finish), but if he’s gonna make a comforting meal to distract himself he’s totally the type to go with a braised lamb sort of deal.

Animal: dogs

FAMILY.

Father: Étienne Jean Ouellet (53); president of an insurance brokerage Mother: Lillian Grace Ouellet née Richardson (51); homemaker Sibling(s): none Children: n/a Pet(s): n/a Family’s Financial Status: solidly upper-middle class. Don’t you know the insurance business is practically a license to print money?

EXTRA.

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius; 13 February 1990 MBTI: ISTJ Enneagram: type 8 — the challenger Temperament: melancholic Moral Alignment: totally pegged him as a Lawful Evil — uses murder to get his ends tidy, but has a strong sense of needing balance for things. Not one to just willy-nilly McMurder. Primary Vice: Wrath Primary Virtue: Charity Element: Earth

#tcrp.task #about #this is so extra i'm so sorry

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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scrollthebreakfasttable-blog · 6 years

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Breakfast with Desi

In today’s social media world, there are two types of art that, in the eyes of many, are oversaturated. In the city of Atlanta a phrase I’ve heard often, and have even used: “throw a rock in any direction and you’ll either hit a photographer or a SoundCloud rapper.” But while I was sitting there, scrolling through her Instagram, I felt nervous, because the woman that was about to sit down with me isn’t just any photographer. I was sitting down with Deseri Rice, one of the best photographers in Atlanta.

To me, Beyonce, Solange, Yara Shahidi, Zendaya, Janelle Monae, Ava DuVernay, Lupita, and Deseri Rice, are top of the list when I think of the phrase Black Girl Magic. Each of these women are trailblazers, visionaries, and undeniable talents. For anyone who ever modeled for Desi, the feeling of being in front of her camera is completely different from other shoots. Normally you’re focused on giving a look, or appearing to follow a certain aesthetic. Desi frees you from that, and is one of the few photographers who truly captures you as you are, as your truest self. After a friendly hug I decided to dive into some questions.

What got you into photography?

I’ve always been into the fashion ads in magazines and editing my profile pics for myspace. It wasn’t until my Intro to Photography class that I discovered it as my passion. After learning the controls I took it and ran with it.

How do you pick your people? Ever turn anybody down that got mad about it?

I feel as if everyone has their own uniqueness about them. It may not be as evident as some but I take it as a challenge. I haven’t really turn anyone away. If it’s not one of my concepts then it’s a paid gig and usually that filters out the ones I’m not creatively connected to. Honestly if my models are passionate about the project and really into it, it always works out. I will say I’ve had a few that aren’t on the same creative plane and I just let that dissolve on its own naturally. But I encourage everyone to find themselves in front of the camera.

Your tag is deseritheartist but every time I hear people talk about you they say “Desi The God”. Why not take that handle?

I’m honored of the title honestly. I don’t mind others calling me that but I rather not call myself a God for personal reasons. I played around with the spelling and still felt uneasy. Also I don’t want others that don’t know me the wrong impression of me calling myself that.

I honestly find this part fascinating. Myself included, ego has always played a major role in the world of entertainment, from the justified confidence of Grammy winners, to has beens like Bow Wow and his lies about private jets. The concept of “fake it ‘till you make it” and showing out for an audience has always seemed extremely important, but from what I can see, faking anything is beyond Desi. She’s real, she’s honest, and she’s kind. That’s a major breath of fresh air, one I think everyone who meets her appreciates. As usual, I start to lose focus after my strawberry pancakes arrive, so I went back to asking questions so I wouldn’t have to do much talking.

At what point in a shoot do you look and go “Oh shit, I did that!”? When do you know you’ve taken the perfect shot?

During photo sessions I get this high feeling like mid session after me and the sitter(s) have warmed up and I just let go. This feeling doesn’t happen every session which doesn’t mean those shots weren’t good but some of my best shots comes from that feeling. It’s like I’ve caught the photo holy ghost lol.That feeling man, I can't explain it. After i see the result from that feeling, that’s always my reaction. I really be in awe sometimes while editing, that’s when it hits me the most.

Top 3 models/celebrities you’d love to shoot?

There’s not many I follow. But i find Kiko Mizuhara, Luka Sabbat, and Kwollem style very intriguing. There’s more but definitely my top three.

Desi laughed when I passed on my idea that a collaboration between herself and Zendaya would probably snatch every wig in existence.

Top 3 magazines you’d love to do a cover shoot for?

There are a few that I’d like to work with like Blanc, MODZIK, and Pause Magazine. I’m actually working on my own, AU COURANT, be on the lookout.

Desi has recently announced that AU COURANT is still in development but a release date has not yet been chosen. Check her social media for updates on that via her instagram @deseritheartist

Cosmo? Essence? Or Vogue?

It would be cool to have a spread in all of these.

For your IG followers, your story is always lit. Seems like you always find the dope events and shows. In Atlanta there’s an event every 10 feet, so what’s your secret to avoiding wackness?

I really love these questions lol I’ve had several people come up to me like “Yo, Des what’s the move?” There’s tons of things to do in Atlanta just gotta be plugged in. If the vibe isn’t right I leave immediately. My secret is follow the DJ’s lol the ones you really like have a following with similar taste and you can never go wrong with the crowd.

One example of this that any follower of Desi’s knows is her friendship with an incredible DJ known as Thrice Groove. Thrice is slowly but surely taking over Atlanta, and Desi has been there to witness the way he dominates a room with his amazing sound.

Top 10 songs on your playlist right now?

Out of a trillion? I flip flop a lot between decades and genres so I revisit a lot like the song just dropped. Lol in no order.

Blossom Dearie - Ravyn Lenae

Supposed to Say Goodbye - Etta bond & Raf Riley

Pick it Up - Famous Dex

Dam Girl - Frills

Vogue -Full Crate

Mi Gente - J.Balvin & Willy William

Due to Me- Jean Deaux

Distractions I: The opposite sex - Kilo Kish

Hold It Down - Mia Gladstone

Get Money - Michael Da Vinci

Despite my extensive music library I feel a tinge of shame for not recognizing a single name listed, and make a mental note to download every single artist later. Aside from a great photographer’s eye, Desi also has an amazing ear for music, so anything she reccomends is usually dope.

So in today’s social media age, there’s photographers who literally get paid to live with and follow influencers. What’s the dollar amount you’d do that for? Or never ever?

Depends. If i really f with that person’s vision and I have full creative flexibility then I’d do it as long as my living expenses are taken care of. I’ve actually never heard of this.

At this moment I pull of my phone and show her my favorite example, a talented guy out of LA known as Brendan North, who until a few months ago, would follow Logan Paul. With a simple “oh, cool” she goes back to her food.

3 breakfast must haves?

Eggwhite Omelette, all the veggies and pepper jack cheese. Breakfast potatoes with veggies. My mom’s grits with cheese (very particular about my grits)

I laugh a little because while she works her way through her healthy omelette, I’m still waging war on the Colorado Omelette, which is the exact opposite of healthy. If I wanted to I could probably come up with some correlation between her talent, incredible vibe, and responsible eating, but I’d rather pretend there’s unrelated and not give up my Colorado Omelettes.

Last month Desi put on an amazing event called Only On Thursdays. She did one last year that went amazingly well, and this one also did not disappoint. In fact, Breakfast Table has the honor of being one of the vendors. It was the perfect place for artists to represent themselves on an equal, and supportive, playing field.

What is “Only On Thursdays”? Only On Thursday’s originated from me wanted to showcase my work gallery style but also involve the music scene in Atlanta that I want to share with my friends. Also to bring back that portfolio review feel from college. I felt like I lost my creative mojo once I graduated because projects aren’t forced on me anymore. My main goal is bring together everything I love and give local photographers and artist a platform to present their work. Many are scared to take that step. This event is for everyone to get inspired and take that leap. So far I’ve helped maybe 4 artist showcase their talents for the first time and hopefully it doesn’t stop there.

How do you decide what artists to put in your show? I do not do open calls for artist. They are carefully picked by what I believe will flow well with the collection and from whom I gain inspiration. They aren’t super famous artist, they might not have a collection by the time I contact them. Really just your everyday artist coming together for something awesome.

You have this crazy soulful element to your photos, it’s like, you can identify a Desi shot out of a group. So, my last question: Do you realize how dope you are? Lol i’m just me.

I believe with all my heart that someday, Desi herself, and the world, will realize her greatness.

-Amelia

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jozalynsharp · 7 years

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Food Addiction is A Bitch (A Seriously Vulnerable Moment)

Food Addiction shows most prevalent in your physical body but it sows such deep roots into your mental state.

I forget that a lot. Mine is a symptom of my anxiety disorder. This means I feel everything on 11.

Spinal Tap emotions, y'all.

I hear the fight in my head between trying to untangle the mess of intense emotions I feel that are more wishy washy than a presidential campaign and more temperamental than Mel Gibson on a bender; against my better judgement which knows I only reach for the fridge because I want a distraction.

I wish I could claim my recent victories against food addiction, but they’re genuinely due to the oldest fad diet in the book: borderline poverty.

My partner supports me financially while I pursue a dream of being an entertainer. (And my mom always thought I’d be the one paying for the go-nowhere musicians gas because he spent his last $400 to finish a neck tattoo.)

The best way I can show gratitude is to not waste what money my partner gives me frivolously. (Not that I haven’t, but I guess learning to be more responsible is as bumpy a road as fighting addiction.)

Cut to 6 months ago: I would eat fast food probably close to 6-8 times a week. More than half of those I would be bingeing. Netflix don’t know shit about a binge. Watching a whole season of Friends has never made me get physically ill. Unless I really start to look for minority actors. It’s hard. Even for the extras. It’s like Where’s Waldo, but harder because most minorities don’t dress in a cross between Freddy Kruger, Santa Claus and some old fashioned PJs.

Cut to the last 6 months: I eat fast food maximum 4-6 times a month. Some of you may think, wow that’s not really better. But for someone who’s specific flavor of addiction is country cooking and fast food, it’s huge. Country cooking is like my street heroin and fast food is my black tar. Hand me a rubber band because I’m about to chase the dragon with the Hamburglar and whatever weird algorithm Taco Bell uses to scramble ingredients into different combinations.

I imagine they just take Tex-Mex buzz words, throw them in a Yahtzee cup, and toss them on the middle of the boardroom conference table.

“Twisted Chipotle Steak Egg Breakfast Quesarito” “Another winner boys! Send it to product development and let’s all go smoke cigars paid for with profits from our restaurant where most meals are bought by change that smells like a VFW because it came from a decade old car ashtray!”

This small change has changed a lot for me. I have lost weight, my physical and emotional appetites have lessened, and I’m cooking more at home. I actually can recognize the cravings in my body for what they are now. A gap in nutrition. I more often reach for the healthier option than I have in the past 10 years of my life. Now when I do eat fast food my orders aren’t binge worthy, and I never finish what I do order. Lord forgive me for wasting food. I know people are starving all over the world but if I start thinking about that too much I might relapse out of crushing guilt, and start bingeing again so epically I’d put a big dent in the available food for those people.

Today was hard.

We woke up to find our family dog, Elvis, was having difficulty breathing. I thought we were for sure going to lose him. We aren’t out of the woods yet either. Elvis is currently in the hands of our very talented vet. And he’s improving but she found some more health issues that could drastically shorten his life even if he does stabilize over the next couple of days.

My mother gave me Elvis when he was 6 weeks old to mend a broken heart and he could fit in the palm of my hand. I love that dog. I wasn’t always the best dog mom due to immaturity and a lack of a sense of responsibility, but I always loved him. I handed him over to my mom when I realized I wasn’t and couldn’t give him the best life he deserved. My parents took him in and absolutely spoiled him. He was my step-fathers comfort when my mom had to travel extensively for work, he was my moms little cuddle buddy and the baby she has been pestering me about but knows I’m not giving her anytime soon, and he even stayed with my grandparents at one point who adore him wholly. He is a part of our family.

I cried for three hours today at the thought of losing him. It was a hard day for me. It’s hard for me now typing this.

At hour two my brain started prickling. And I could feel those thoughts that addicts have. It’s not a clear thought. It’s like someone whispering behind a curtain. You don’t know what words they are saying but you feel the intention of what they want you to do in your bones.

I wanted to eat. I wanted to eat until I was in such pain I could only focus on that. Until my body started to shut down from massive insulin spikes and poor glucose levels and just general shock.

If anyone reads this some of you may be disgusted by that. That’s another great thing about bingeing. You are so disgusted with yourself by the end of it you are completely numb to all other emotions. I mean if you do it right. I’m like at least a Junior Olympian level binge eater. Like Nike would never sponsor me but New Balance might send me some free swag.

I wanted to eat.

And I did. I got Jack in the Box. About 2/3 of the portion I’d normally binge on. I ate.

And I couldn’t finish it all.

To see food left over in a meal for a food addict is almost off putting. I kept staring at it and listening to the war of my addiction screaming in my head to finish it and my stomach being like “Bro, we talked about this. Me and the colon are done with your shit. Here’s some chemicals to make you feel more full than you’ve ever felt.”

The food looked gross to me.

I tried to start a binge again later that night when my anxiety started to peak. I didn’t even finish half of the food.

And then it dawned on me.

Duh. Idiot. Addiction is chemically based in YOUR BRAIN.

For 6 months I’ve been fueling my body more often than I abuse it. And after 10 years that’s the longest I’ve done that for consistently. My body can no longer support the bingeing. My body doesn’t want the bingeing.

My brain does.

But my brain can’t compete with a shrunken stomach, an altered palate, and 6 months of waking up every day 25% with the intention to make a better choice, and 75% because not a value menu in the world is affordable for me right now.

I hope this realization clicks something in the back of my head over and I can change intention from 25% to 100%. I will power forward as if it did. Maybe manifest destiny or The Secret will be on my side. Or maybe some kind of self induced placebo effect. Whatever it is, hopefully it works.

I know I’ll fail again. And again. And again unto infinity.

But I think what I’ve learned this year and what’s really sunk in for me for the first time:

Tomorrow is a new day, and you are the only person with the power to make it a better one than today.

Food addiction is all in my head but unfortunately so is mission control for my body. This journey will be full of mistakes but just acknowledging the demons lurking around in the dark corners of your brain can do wonders for your perspective on yourself. And can give you hope.

Once you shine a light on the boogey-man you realize he’s actually just a shitty lopsided coat rack in the corner of the room.

TL;DR: Bruce Willis was dead the whole time.

#addiction #food #foodaddict #food addiction #mental health #mental illness #mental disorder #dog #family #coping

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phynxrizng · 7 years

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THE FIRST WITCH WARS. AND WHY ITS DIFFERENT TODAY

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Found in Pagan ChannelRaise the Horns blog

The First Witch Wars & Why It’s Different Today

April 10, 2016

by Jason Mankey

I’m under no delusions that everyone who practices Witchcraft today will one day drop their brooms and dance together around the cauldron. There are a whole host of differences among the modern strains of the Craft, and while we share a great deal, we don’t share everything. And while my wife and I don’t quite put up a You Are Not Invited sign when our Gardnerian coven meets, the idea is mostly true. Non-initiates are not welcome, and even certain lines in our tradition don’t have a free pass to join us.

From the start Witchcraft has been rather exclusionary. Much of that is because of how the coven was originally structured. Today the phrase “perfect love and perfect trust” is often used willy-nilly and without a lot of thought, but originally that phrase was one of the core tenants of the Craft. The coven represented chosen family, and the only persons allowed in were those who had earned the love and trust of their fellow Witches.

Particular Witch-traditions are also about particular temperaments. Don’t believe in deity? Perhaps our Goddess-centric group won’t be a good fit. Does archaic (and somewhat sexist) sounding language bother you? Then what we say in our circle probably won’t resonate with you.* I love and trust all sorts of people who just aren’t a good fit with our coven and many of them are cognizant enough to realize that.

What I try not to do is judge the Witchcraft of others. The Feri Path is not for me but I still know that it’s a very real and valid path. My friends who practice it are strong and committed Witches and are doing good work. There is no version of the Craft that is “more authentic,” intense, scary, or real. I’m not threatened or jealous of other Witchcrafts, some are just different, and that’s great. When my wife and I go out for ice cream I go for the cookie dough and she goes for the mint-chocolate-chip, I know that the cookie dough isn’t really better because it’s what I prefer, I just know that it’s better for me.

THE FIRST WITCH WARS

When I complain about the current cosmic pissing contests that seems so prevalent in many Witch circles I’m often reminded by well meaning souls that the “Witch Wars” are nothing new, and that’s completely accurate. The first modern Witch War took probably took place in 1958 when Charles and Mary Cardell showed up in the Spiritualist magazine Light claiming to be Wiccens. After failing to impress Doreen Valiente and other established Witches the Cardells went to “war” on Gardnerian Witchcraft,** which culminated in the book/pamphlet Witch by Charles Cardell released under the pen-name Rex Nemorensis.

(1) Witch was meant to be a “tell all” about Gardner and included (alleged) excerpts of the Gardnerian Book of Shadows. Cardell was too cowardly to release his book while Gardner was still alive and released it in 1964 just a few months after Gardner’s death. I don’t like to speak ill of the dead but the Cardells were quite a strange couple (they liked to pass themself off as brother and sister, which they were not), and they faded from history shortly after the release of Witch.

Today they are a curious footnote in Witch history and are probably most famous for being involved in the first public Witch War. The second major Witch dust-up was instigated by someone who would have a lasting impact on Modern Witchcraft, Robert Cochrane (Roy Bowers). Cochrane was one of the first people to go public with a Witchcraft tradition outside of Gerald Gardner’s, and he wasn’t all that nice about it. (In his defense, I’m sure there were lots of Gardnerians behaving badly here too.) In Doreen Valiente’s memoir The Rebirth of Witchcraft she mentions Cochrane’s desire to have a “Night of the Long Knives” with the people he derisively called Gardnerians.

(3) (And since there were not a whole lot of Witches in England at the time, the whole idea is completely absurd.)*** Cochrane had a combative personality and his friend Evan John Jones once remarked that “he seemed to want to be at loggerheads with most other occultists.” (3) By the time Cochrane was calling for his night of the long knives he was most likely dealing with some sort of serious mental duress. He took his own life shortly after Valiente left his Clan of Tubal Cain in 1966.

There have always been problems in the world of Witchcraft, but I think it’s a lot different today than it was fifty or even twenty years ago. It shows up in people and groups who define their own Witchcraft not by what they do, but what they stand in opposition to. It’s one thing to say “I don’t practice Witchcraft like she does” and another to say “the Witchcraft they practice is not serious” all while not knowing who they truly are. I understand not liking Gerald in 1960, it’s another when all of his past and present initiates are also dismissed out of hand.

Public arguments amongst Witches were also once considered propositions. If you wanted to argue in a public forum about Witchcraft it required a bit of work. You had to get out the type-writer and put together a letter; there were no outlets for immediate criticisms and condemnations. I remember writing letters to editors, it was a pain in the ass, and by the time you were ready to write your letter the anger had probably already passed anyways.

All kinds of arguments were probably avoided due to sheer laziness forty years ago. Even if you got your letter written it often took months for it to appear anywhere, and by that point everyone might have already forgotten about the argument.

Even our most public arguments thirty years ago were still mostly private. They occurred in Pagan magazines, which took a bit of work to track down. In 1993 I didn’t have to worry about my Aunt Donna stumbling across an argument on my Facebook feed about Wiccan privilege.

Today our comments are available for just about anyone to see, and even things posted in private groups can be easily copied and shared with thousands. I wasn’t a big fan of Tarostar in the Green Egg Forum circa 1996, but I also didn’t make copies of his letters and pass them around the campfire, but we kind of do that today when we share something on social media.

Social media makes every argument so immediate and personal. Discussions that might have once occurred over the course of a year unfold over an afternoon. Instead of carefully considered opinions responses are written in minutes, without any time to reflect upon them, and issues of great complexity are simplified into yes or no arguments. Today we share memes and quotes without a second thought as to how others might react to or be hurt by such ideas. Yes, there have always been Witch Wars, but they’ve never played out so publicly before.

There have always been spiteful Witches and there have always been Witches intent on telling everyone that their version of the Craft is superior. But because we communicate with one other so quickly and we have so many immediate public forums the arguments and controversies are bigger.

Twenty years ago you could hide in your Temple Room and just do your shit, and not worry about Witchcraft outside your own walls. Not as possible in the age of Facebook, Twitter, and blogs. Even if you don’t engage in all the mudslinging you still see and are even possibly affected by it on some internal level.

There is no one Witchcraft that is “better,” there’s only what’s best for each of us. Instead of arguing about what’s “real” let’s share some experiences and create a better Craft. Witchcraft is about what works, and it works much better when we focus on our own Craft instead of everyone else’s.

COMMENTS THAT DIDN”T MAKE THE ARTICLE

*We’ve always recited Doreen’s Valiente Charge of the Goddess with the words “beloved of gods and men” which is how we first heard it. It was later amended to read “gods and mortals,” but we we think the extra syllable throws off the Charge’s cadence. **Which at the time, was pretty much the only public Witchcraft in the UK. (Note how I wrote “public Witchcraft” and not “only Witchcraft.”) ***I’ve grown quite fond of Cochrane over the last few years and some of his ritual innovations show up in my own rites from time to time. The end of his life is an utter tragedy, and it’s possible that Modern Witchcraft might be very different today had history proceeded a bit differently.

NOTES 1. Taken from Ronald Hutton’s Triumph of the Moon, Oxford University Press, 1999 pages 298-299. I’ve quoted this book so many times in my life that I don’t even have to check the title page for the publisher and year. 2. The quote is from Valiente’s Rebirth of Witchcraft (Phoenix Publishing, 1989), but I looked it up in Philip Heselton’s Doreen Valiente: Witch, published by the Doreen Valiente Foundation in 2016. It actually just came out this past February. Page 135. 3. More Hutton, this time from page 317. Stay in touch! Like Patheos Pagan on Facebook:

About Jason Mankey

Jason Mankey has been involved with Paganism for the last twenty years, and has spent the last ten of those years as a speaker, writer, and High Priest. Jason can often be found lecturing on the Pagan Festival circuit, so you might just bump into him. When not reading and researching Pagan history he likes to crank up the Led Zeppelin, do rituals in honor of Jim Morrison (of The Doors), and sing numerous praises to Pan, Dionysus, and Aphrodite. He lives in Sunnyvale CA with his wife Ari and two hyper-kinetic cats.

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