#ALSO ALSO he has a lot in common with crush no. 1 who I can't talk about but 'if I had a nickel' etc etc. it's too funny not to mention

[melivora]

Tell me bout the guy you like

He's from luxembourg and has pretty blue eyes and a nice smile and an accent and I love a good accent. And he's smart. And he is also learning Chinese. And he seems kind and interesting.

I think there's actually a chance that we could be compatible lol.

[warpcoreweirdness]

just finished season 2 of Lower Decks and i'm SO glad i tried this show again

i actually started the show a while ago, but the constant easter eggs put me off.

(i still don't know how non-Trekkie viewers are meant to get the jokes where the punchline is "reference!! 😂", but lots of people enjoy it so ymmv).

i stopped a few minutes into episode 2 after Rutherford agrees to quit his job as an engineer so he can watch the Trivoli pulsar with Tendi.

i honestly thought it was going to be a storyline about a guy giving up a job he loves and making his boss angry so that he can spend time with a female friend he has a crush on, because that's the plotline i've been conditioned to expect from tv. i wasn't feeling excited about the show, so i put it on pause.

but if i'd watched for about two more seconds before noping out for a few months, i would've seen this:

when i started watching again, i realised that the episodes never bog themselves down in drawn-out, uncomfortable storyline or character staples - they're actually incredibly well-written, tightly paced, and tell their stories in just the right amount of time. Rutherford wants to be Tendi's friend (at least for now), his boss Billups is really supportive, and Tendi brings a PADD into the Jefferies tube so they can both do what they enjoy, separately but together.

another great part about that scene with Rutherford and his boss is something that Lower Decks does a lot, which is make jokes that actually rely on subverting audience expectations. a big example - and a way of referencing other parts of the Star Trek franchise that does work for me - is when the creators gently poke fun at or subvert common story beats, emotional arcs, or dramatic moments from other parts of Trek.

like when Rutherford loses his memory and Tendi is excited to get to know him again, rather than devastated that he doesn't remember her.

or when they save themselves from being smooshed by Dooplers by dramatically ejecting the warp core of their tiny model starship.

or when Tendi goes on an arc of significant personal development over the course of one (1) whole episode.

they're general enough that even people who haven't seen other Star Trek shows (or movies) can still recognise and appreciate them.

beyond this, the show also has great moments where they (lovingly) cast a light on some of the flaws and foibles in the franchise, often in subtle or comedic ways.

like showing people in beep chairs living their best lives (in contrast to TOS and SNW's view of the beep chair as a tragic, doomsday fate for Pike).

or using Tendi to comment on Trek's depiction of Orions specifically as all pirates and slavers, and alien cultures more generally as monocultures.

or even just acknowledging that Trek shows mostly focus on the bridge crew doing heroic first contact-esque adventures, when that can't be all there is to Starfleet.

heck, they even have Rutherford go on a journey of acceptance and self-discovery after a permanent memory wipe (in contrast to Uhura in TOS, where it's never mentioned again).

another reason i really appreciate the show is that the creators have taken the time to think through what a more inclusive future could look like, in ways that are noticeably lacking or absent in many other Trek shows:

beyond exploring diversity through explicit identity representation (which is still very important), it does this through its world building as well.

i love this communal sonic shower scene for what it says about gender and body politics in Trek. in the future, why would we still separate bathrooms and changing rooms by gender? and why would we have the same views and expectations around bodies that we (by "we" i mean Western countries) do now?

this short scene dismantles the idea that nudity is inherently sexual, that gender is binary and biological, that some genders can't be trusted around other genders while naked, and that heterosexuality is the default (and when you bring dozens of alien species into the mix, why wouldn't we have more and newer ways of thinking about gender?). it even has a little mention that Boimler prefers not to shower with others, leaving space for people to act however feels most comfortable for them.

it's such a little thing, but after years spent (lovingly) yelling at the screen during TNG, TOS, DS9, etc saying, "why are they assuming everyone is straight? WHY would people be this sexist?", i noticed it immediately and appreciated it immensely.

(this isn't related to the storytelling, but i also have to say - the animation in Lower Decks is so pretty???):

this isn't a perfect show, but it's funny, has fantastic storytelling, and it loves the source material without worshipping it. (which is not something i expected to say, given how it started).

plus i love these characters SO MUCH.

so far, so very good 🤞.

(image descriptions in alt text)

[deerspherestudios]

Hi! I played your game and really, really like it, I am a huge fan of slow burn - combined with Yandere too? That's kinda rare nowadays, haha. Thanks for making it and creating Mychael, I love his design. Two questions: How many days are planned to be playable in the full release?

And

Since in just one day Mychael feels very friendly towards us (according to a post you made with where his feelings are based on a meter) does that mean he's very clingy??? Like, in just one day he feels like our friend. What little effort and words will it take for him to go from crush, to love, to whatever yandere thing he might be??? Like, is he okay??? Should I be worried???

This guy? Clingy? Nahhh. Nothing to worry about, anon :-) 🍄❤️

As for the game, long (!!!) answer below cut: might be spoiler-y might be not.

For context, here's the post mentioned above.

I'm still not sure how many days it will be, but it's definitely ranging between 4-5 days. Granted it'll be a while before the game is finished finished but I think progress will pick up as I complete assets that will be reused. I'm writing Days 2, 3 and 4 simultaneously (anyone who writes can probably relate to wanting a specific thing to happen in the story but dread writing up to it, so I skip around in order to keep my motivation and interest up)

As for relationship progression, slow burn usually means a long time passes before anything develops. But this is a VN and I'm a solo part-time dev so the scope still has to be small 😔 That said!

Mychael, as a person, is quite solitary in nature; he likes being alone and you'll find out why. He does however desire company and he's only realized just how pleasant having someone around can be (hence his reaction for the Bad Endings in Day 1 if you wish to leave/run away)

Although I'm not a fan of the 'you do one (1) nice thing any decent person would do and yandere is already head-over-heels for you' trope, I do have to make use of it but, drip-feed style? You grow closer to Mychael as you hang out with him and do little things that he appreciates. (Honestly I just realized I'm describing the typical visual novel experience just without the yandere beginning-- go! figure!!! /lh)

Example: the first thing that boosts you to immediate friend status is your willingness to accept his physical looks, something that's never happened to him before. (I know my artstyle makes him a yassified pretty boy but imagine genuinely meeting a sentient creature in real life with patchy green skin, a dextrous tail and four blinking pitch black eyes, I think I'd freak too haha) Little things like that mean a lot to him and motivates him to prolong your stay.

In a way, the MC is written to be more kinder and open-minded (at least outside of Bad Ends) than the sweet/sour personalities that come in a VN, so (for narrative AND coding purposes) I can't really diversify it much. I hope that's okay ¯\_(; v ; )_/¯ If Mychael met a more grouchy/mean MC on Day 1 he'd probably not be as attached. He'd just save you, feed you and send you home when you ask hahaha. Of course this will change as he gets to know you better, at that stage he'll be willing to overlook your flaws like any upstanding yandere

Phew this was a lot to dump in an ask but I did wanna explain my vision for the game! I enjoy yandere VNs as an escape fantasy, but it's common they start out with the yan already being invested in you or fall for you too fast!!! if that makes sense. I'm interested in yanderes in the aspect of how love (romantic or otherwise) starts from innocent affection and spirals into dark obsession!!! It's also compelling as to why a character is so devoted to someone, in this situation the MC, and I wanna write the kind of person Mychael would fall for. And personally 'love-at-first-sight' as a reason just doesn't do it for me 💔

(Disclaimer!!! I'm not saying my game is any more original or better than the other wonderful yan VNs in the works, but hopefully with Mychael as a character I can deliver that 'slow-burn-and-yearn' storyline I'd like it to be. As my itchio profile says: I make games I thirst for in secret but are sadly lacking around the internet 💔 )

Thank you for the ask!! :-D

[madraynesims]

The Sims 2 PSP Cut Content: Part 2

This is a follow up to my first cut content post, mostly talking about the cut Kine Dairy content there.

Missing Division 47 Scientists

Catelyn Lancaster

Catelyn is one of four Division 47 research assistants that are in The Sims 2 PSP. The two research assistants that still show up are Red Sands and Cristian Allard. All four scientists originally spawned inside the Laboratory along with the Curious brothers. Red and Cristian were later moved outside the lab to roam with the guards, leaving the other two scientists behind. This was likely due to performance issues in the lab. The schedule file indicates that Catelyn Lancaster would have spawned in the Laboratory only during the night.

This screenshot shows Red Sands when he used to spawn inside Division 47's lab. (Unfortunately, I couldn't find any pictures showing Catelyn)

As mentioned in part 1: Gender: 0 = female, 1 = male. The eye color is only specified if they're not the default brown. (I'll be using the Sims 2 PC to recreate them, as it shares a lot of assets with the PSP version)

Catelyn Lancaster's Details

Bio: "A research assistant at Division 47." social = 15, intimidation = 3, personality = 1, Her social score is higher compared to other Division 47 locals, and her intimidation score is at the max of 3, which would have made her one of the difficult Sims to do social games with. She has the Air personality type and she uses the serious idle set of animations instead of neutral. Her topic sets (interests) are dresses, makeup, medicine2, school2, politics2, spacesuit, travel2, money1, and the solar system. A visual of these:

Catelyn Lancaster's Secrets

 (Personal): "Does all of the work at the lab and gets none of the credit."

 (Intimate): "You were her first kiss … and after that experience, probably her last."

 (Dark): "Persists in enumerating common domestic fowl prior to emergence from their pre-natal habitats."

Terri Tortuga

As said above, Terri is one of four Division 47 research assistants that are in the game. The schedule file indicates that Terri would have spawned in the Laboratory only during the day.

Terri Tortuga's Details

Bio: "A research assistant at Division 47." social = 13, intimidation = 2, personality = 0, Her social and intimidation scores are average for Division 47 locals, so social games aren't too bad. She has the Fire personality type and she uses the serious idle set of animations instead of neutral. Her topic sets (interests) are dresses, makeup, classical, school1, alien, aliens, and birdbee. A visual of these:

Terri Tortuga's Secrets

 (Personal): "Has a HUGE crush on Pollination Tech #9."

 (Intimate): "Sometimes turns the radio telescope towards the city and pretends it's a laser."

 (Dark): "Tests new chemicals on herself, just for kicks. Once grew a second head."

Since we're talking about Division 47, I can add one more thing about TA7 (go see p6tgel's post to learn more about who TA7 is) The devs left notes here and there in the files.

don't worry, he's just (sleeping :P)

Random fact time: When you collect Roberta Rossum's parts, you can check your inventory and read the descriptions for them, but I don't believe you get a chance to read the description of Roberta's head before you give it to Isaac Rossum? But here it is.

There's also a toy horse story item that I can't seem to find any other information for.

[seirei-bh]

My opinion and theories about Jason's route ep 4

This post focuses only on Jason's part of the episode, I'll be playing Amanda and Thomas' routes in a few days, so I'll save my thoughts about their images, moments and dialogue in detail for later. And I'll do also other post about general curiosities facts of the ep, but I prefer to wait a few days for that.

BIG SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT, you're warned!

Well, first of all: if you are Devon, Amanda, Thomas or Roy, you are in luck, this is your chapter! But if you're the Jason route, you might be disappointed (it wasn't like that in my case, but I've seen a lot of people disappointed for understandable reasons, I'll leave my opinion below)

A summarize about Jason's moment:

-We met him in the cafeteria by coincidence, but he didn't see us yet.

-Thomas says he secretly follows Jason on his Instagram account.

-Elenda hints that maybe Jason has a crush on Ysaline. While Brune is worried because she thinks maybe Jason is trying to "hunt" Ysaline.

-Then Thomas and Devon start speculating about Jason's relationships. They insinuate that he must be a womanizer and someone who see people as prizes to be won because he is with different several women in photos and it doesn't seem like his relationships last long.

-HOWEVER, Jason suddenly appears because he has heard the conversation. He seems to feel offended, he hints that he feels disappointed by the others' attitude. Jason also says that regarding his private life and romantic relationships "there are reasons why I prefer not to commit long term" but that it's none of their business. And then he leaves.

Okay. Let's theorize here!

Apparently, and in the opinion of Thomas, Devon, and most of our peers, Jason is a womanizer. But the fact that he says very seriously that there is another reason behind why he only has short relationships and not long ones, I have a few theories about it, and yes, I think it will be a bigger issue than it may seem.

-A while ago I did a headcanons post about Jason in which among his headcanons, I got right the fact that he has only had brief relationships so far, and there are some possibilities that I mentioned there that could be that reason behind all this :

1- He simply doesn't have time for long relationships. This man is married to his job, and perhaps most of the partners he had didn't understand that, and he doesn't give his 100% in relationships either because he thinks they're not worth it and are a waste of time.

2- Since he is a rich, handsome and powerful man, he either believes that he has a perfect image to maintain and he fears that any woman could discover some weakness to use against him, so he prefers to end the relationship before it becomes serious. If this is the reason, he may have had a serious relationship in the past that caused him some emotional damage too, which made him more cautious later (which could be something he had in common with Ysaline) and/or too many relationships with women who only dated with him for supercial reasons so he feels he can't trust in love anymore. And maybe even his family pressures him to keep a perfect image too.

3- And this is my favorite theory, as I speculated in his headcanons post: his poliosis was a consequence of a Waardenburg syndrome. A syndrome that also can cause him to suffer from partial deafness and even vision problems. And for this reason, perhaps he doesn't want or thinks that he should never have children, so he prefers not to have long relationships, so that no woman can find out this fact and become disappointed with the issue of not being able to have children with him in the future, other than that it would be for him to admit a weakness that could cause him to be fired from his job (I have a family member who lost his job because he turned partially blind from a hereditary disease, so yeah these kind of things can happen). And for a man like Jason, who values ​​his job so much, losing him for something like that could be a big blow for him. Also, on a plot level it would be an interesting plot twist for his character, in my opinion.

Now let's get to another tricky part of the episode.

-After Jason leaves, Devon explains to us that the reason for his enmity with him was that, a while ago, they both entered a contest, and apparently, Jason copied the work that Devon did, that's why Roy calls him in the ep 2 liar and thief.

-However, there is something in this whole story that doesn't add up: Jason presented his project days after Devon, and that caused Jason was fired and lost the city council's own confidence. And when Devon asked him for an explanation for the plagiarism, Jason blamed Devon. So… what really happened??

-We lack information here. I think we won't know the full truth until Jason tells us his pov in all of this.

-If Jason had plagiarized and stolen from him on purpose, then he should have submit his project before Devon. It would have been the logical step to avoid being harmed. There's also the possibility that Jason just had a BIG coincidence of ideas similars to Devon's, but Jason wouldn't be so offended or attack Devon so much if it was just his own fault…

-I have a theory that there is a third person involved in this story.

-Perhaps that third person was one of Jason's colleagues, or one of his private investors, or perhaps someone from the city council or a person from another company who was a fake friend of Jason's and wanted to secretly harm him. I think that person found out about what Devon was going to do, and that person gave that idea to Jason without telling him that it was Devon's idea, like "hey, I've this idea, let's share it for this project" and then when it was shows it belonged to Devon, that third person told Jason that it was Devon the one who had stolen the idea from them. That person twisted the story.

-Now, the biggest disappointment of the ep if you're Jason's route: you only talk to him for a minute.

-Yeah, it was disappointing to spend so little time with him after waiting a whole month. Although I still enjoyed his moment because of the theories it made me think about it and I still think his route worths it. Besides, If I had enough patience in the past to deal with Leiftan's very very VERY brief moments in the first eps of Eldarya, then I can also deal with Jason's route being frustrating that way XD That's what you got when you're playing the secret route: your're going to suffer always in th firsts eps lmao.

-There is only a brief dialogue with all your companions in front and then you check out his Instagram. I really hope his part in the 5th episode is longer ToT

-His image it's the promotional image that we have already seen of him, but it doesn't surprise me, I already expected that image to be in an episode soon or later, he looks hot anyway, although I thought that the context would be more interesting, like seeing him in some important event instead of on Instagram.

-While Ysaline is looking his photos on Instagram, she thinks he seems to be "a big red flag" lol, although I'm not surprised after what her boss and colleages said about him, and because of this girl bad experience in the past (damn you, Ioan)

-This has made some players think that Jason is going to be a disappointing route, but personally I don't think so, not only because of the theories I have given, but because in UL I've been Castiel route and Nathaniel route, and both characters in the first eps they are very popular with women and you heard they had many short relationships of one night or a few days, and the beginning with both characters and Sucrette in UL is complicated… (Nath disappeared and got into trouble non-stop, We even find him flirting with a girl in chapter 3 in front of us, and Castiel, after spending the night with you, ignores you for an entire ep and says he doesn't want a relationship) but then in later chapters Castiel and Nath turned out to be WONDERFUL routes with sweet/beautiful moments and boys totally in love with Sucrette, faithful to her and who loved her deeply. So I think Jason might be a little similar to them in this case, with a very complicate start, but he'll be worth it in the end. And I'm into that shit, come on, the enemies to lovers drama!

-Oh and Ysaline gives the Jason's photo a "like" by mistake! XD So I guess Jason will mention this to us in a message or in the next ep. Hohohoh *evil smirk*

Conclusion: I can't say I totally loved it, but I'm not totally disappointed either. At least I'm glad we got a part of explanation about all Devon vs Jason's mess. I hope that in the next eps with his moments are longer (pls!)

[lycheedr3ams]

König Character Analysis (Part 1)

*image reposted with permission

Part 1: His Past | Part 2: König's MBTI

the first installment of a multi-part character analysis for our beloved König

to convince you guys i know what I'm talking about, just look through my blog at my könig posts. I am confident that I have grasped most parts of his personality and backstory, but I will acknowledge that some of it may be projecting. obviously we do not know much about him, which is the point of this series. i also relate a lot to him

discussion of my interpretation is welcome in the comments, and if you disagree, there's no need to be hateful. he is, at the end of the day, not real

TW: bullying, social anxiety, other mental health disorders

We have very little information on könig's life before the military. his bio includes one sentence, just one, about his past:

König suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life, often being bullied during his childhood.

while this information alone isn't striking, when put into more context of other parts of his bio, it says:

While he hoped to join as a recon sniper, his physical size and his inability to stay still made him an unsuitable candidate.

focus on those words: his inability to stay still. this crucial bit of information, tied to the fact that he was often bullied, leads me to conclude that könig has ADHD. not being able to sit still is not a stereotype, it is a real fact of life for those with ADHD, me included. people with ADHD are bullied much more than neurotypicals (people without ADHD, autism, etc). while each source is different, it is estimated that children with ADHD are 4-10x more likely to be bullied.

it is no wonder why bullying would cause social anxiety, since most of könig's interactions with his peers were negative. as someone with social anxiety, it is horrible. not knowing what to say or how to act, you end up either completely misreading the social context or not saying anything. either way, you can never win.

additionally, children with ADHD receive up to 20,000 more negative messages from parents and peers in their childhood than neurotypical children. because of this, it is common for people with ADHD to also be extra sensitive to rejection, and it can be so strong in some that a new term has been coined called "rejection sensitive dysphoria." research on this issue has revealed that 99% of people with ADHD also have and experience rejection sensitive dysphoria. therefore, it makes sense to conclude that König also experiences rejection sensitive dysphoria (rsd)

an aside on rsd: this isn't just feeling hurt when you're rejected by a crush or feeling sheepish or embarrassed you're scolded at work or school. rsd episodes make you question your entire life, your personality, your worth, and for many can even lead to suicidal thoughts just from a small incident of rejection. it can also lead to the person having low self-esteem, and they are also more likely to perceive rejection even when it is not there. it is an intense and overwhelming experience that no one should have to go through, yet people with ADHD experience it often

so, we've established, based on the evidence i've provided, that König has ADHD, social anxiety, and experiences rsd. i would say that i can't even imagine what König's childhood was like, but sadly I can since i too have adhd and was bullied. being mean is never okay, and bullying is not cute or quirky or sassy. bullying is when someone kicks your books across the floor, steals and destroys your belongings, when they spread false rumors, make fun of you, laugh at you, when they give you mean faces when you ask questions in class, when your only friend is the other "weird" kid who also has ADHD. it's when your teachers constantly criticize you and you get in trouble for every little thing. it's when you just wanted a friend and everyone else knew how to socialize, but somehow, you didn't. being bullied while also having ADHD is an experience i wish on no one. yet könig went through this. just sit with that for a minute. the big scary military man we love was also a child once, and went through this.

sorry to depress you guys, but this is the reality of his character. i firmly believe that könig has ADHD and experiences rsd despite his untouchable and stoic demeanor, and you're not gonna change my mind.

so, that's the end of the first installment. keep your eyes out for more, cuz trust me, there's gonna be more. (also don't forget to sign up for my taglist if you want! link is on my masterpost)

taglist: @osteawb, @sleepystaarr, @vvampir3s, @simpxinnie, @majocookie, @sharkyyyyyyyyyyyy, @marysdelrey, @kybeth5, @chaos-on-stand-bi, @shannonswizzies, @arcadia509, @bloodstoneruby, @cumikering, @skystreamchan, @junkratssheila-09, @kit-williams, @tangerynsbaby, @dreamdiaries777, @royalbxstxrd, @non-satanic-panic, @theweirdchick, @kiyomisan, @maylif, @mortimoshi, @eneiss

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: Sand & Ray's Fears of 'Being a Burden'

This is a follow-up to the initial observations I made on both the characterisation of Sand and Ray. Two qualities that really stood out to me in episode 1 which made for a surprising point of commonality.

Sand's Righteousness

So many times this episode Sand comments on how Ray is being socially irresponsible. There's definitely the expectation that those who are wealthier live more frivolously and selfishly. They don't stop to think too much about how their actions have consequences and will impact those around them.

Whereas what was overwhelmingly clear in this episode is that Sand's strong sense of righteousness means he's driven to always 'do the right thing'. This means he's going to be in immediate conflict with those who do not do so, or don't care. The questionable behaviour of others may aggravate him, but when it truly matters, Sand jumps straight into action. He won't disregard someone in need.

This makes me wonder if he's predisposed to act because he feels it's objectively right to do so, regardless of someone's wishes. Funnily enough, we've probably all had instances where we chose to do something we knew was not 'right', for the sake of protecting someone's feelings. I anticipate there will be plenty of situations where his righteousness (which comes from a place of rationale) will come into conflict with his own personal feelings (which are often irrational).

This is where Ray will make a huge impact on his perspective. Because all people have their own battles and struggles, no matter what background they come from. It's not so black and white. Right and wrong. Just and unjust.

Sand also uses the term 'burden' a lot. This actually says a tonne about him. Often we can be critical of qualities in others we possess ourselves. It's because we have them, that we are hyper-sensitive to their presence in those around us. The way he chides Ray is because he himself doesn't want to feel burdensome on others. This would explain why he tries to be as self-sufficient as possible, working several jobs to make ends meet. He holds himself to the standard he expects of others. He wants to be financially independent. He wants to be able to take care of himself and not cause trouble.

If he's upholding a a high example of what it is to be a morally and socially conscious individual, he has value. His value goes beyond his financial hindrances. He can still contribute, he can still be useful.

Ray's Fear of Inadequacy

This line spoke volumes. It shows that Ray has deeply buried fears about being left behind or being surpassed. All his friends have something going for them. Mew is the clever, assertive one. Boston is the popular, astute one. Namcheum is the outgoing, social one. And he's the boisterous drunk. This is the role he often plays in the group, which no doubt really weighs on his own understanding of who he is.

It could explain why he has a crush on Mew, because Mew possesses a lot of qualities he wishes he had. Due to his bad temper and his shortcomings, he can easily come across as unapproachable and be misunderstood. He probably feels very lonely or often like the odd one out. Boston is always slinking off to hook up with a stranger. Namcheum is busy reading the room and including everyone. Mew used to be the one who was happy in the company of his own intellectual interests, but is now focused on Top. This leaves Ray as seemingly superfluous.

His friends often joke about exactly this but Ray probably internalises these comments more than they realise. On the two occasions he leaves the table, note how none of his friends follow him. No one tries to comfort him, because they've seen it all before. 'This is what Ray does.' 'Ray likes to throw a tantrum'. 'This is the alcohol speaking.'

When Ray is genuinely upset, his friends can't always tell the difference. His attitude is what isolates him, but he can't help reacting in the way he does, which isolates him further. It's no wonder Ray is so easily frustrated, because he doesn't know how else to express himself other than to get angry.

He may genuinely believe what everyone says about him. That he doesn't bring any value to the table. That he is (as Sand puts it) "a burden to society". He doesn't know what his place is.

Just like Mew's unconscious rejection of him, he may fear that one day his friends will move on without him. Like a small animal that's imprinted on others out of survival, he can't be left alone to fend for himself because he needs people to feel worth. To prove that he's not useless. To prove he's not expendable.

This has become a self-actualising prophecy he's begrudgingly accepted, mostly out of fear of losing his friends. He plays into the misnomer that's been assigned to him. "You know I'm only good at spending money", because he doesn't know what else he can offer. His friends tease him over the fact he often gushes about how much he loves them when drunk. But this is actually in a bid to keep people close. If you shower them with love, maybe they won't ever leave you.

And the sad part of this is that no one realises Ray feels this way because it's masked by his bad temper and tendency to drink.

Sand doesn't want to be a burden in a socially responsible sense. Ray doesn't want to be a burden on his friends, who may be the only people he has. We just need these two to realise they have a very similar complex here, hidden beneath their apparent differences.

[spennsrs]

Hi! I noticed that your requests are open and that you are a Spencer simp (same!!) so I was wondering if I could request something with him? Anything really, I just think that the world needs more Spencer Agnew fics :))

TYPE OF WRITING: one sided pining drabble CONTENT CREATOR(S): spencer agnew of smosh SONG REC: my type by saint motel MARNIE'S NOTE: THE WORLD NEEDS MORE SPENCER !! i hope this satiates not only your need for more spence, but also my need lawl ... also spence is 100% besties to lovers type guy... also mayhaps part 2 in the future???

from: spenner 🐌 ' [y/n] ' ' [y/n] answer plz ' ' are u dead ' ' is this because i won at mario kart ' ' heeeeeeeeey ' ' im off work and im booooooored '

[y/n] lifts the pillow from their face, the constant buzzing of their phone making them frown. they pick the phone up, scrolling through the notifications. youtube... threads... x (you stick your tongue out... elon you bitch, twitter was fine)... a goofy smile tugs at their lips at the onslaught of texts from their best friend, spencer agnew, and as more came in.

from: spenner 🐌 ' my best friend, [y/n] [l/n] is dead!!1 ' ' haha get it ' ' family guy reference ' ' see [y/n] this is how much i need u in my life ' ' im making fucking family guy references '

they simply watch the three dots, signaling spencer was typing as more and more texts were sent by the curly haired man, shaking their head. finally, they decide it was enough torture for their poor friend, typing out a few texts. they giggle as the three dots disappear for a moment, only to reappear.

to: spenner 🐌 ' chill out you funion fuck ' ' im here ' ' unlike some people, some of us have lives while our best friend is at work '

this was a lie. they had (very shamelessly) not answered spencer in favor of catching up on their favorite tv show.

from: spenner 🐌 ' about damn time ' ' i was dying without you ' ' soooooo whats the plan can i come over or ' ' also funion fuck?????? '

to: spenner 🐌 ' so you can eat my food? ' ' ig you can :/ '

there was no response, and [y/n] had reason to believe spencer had either pulled a fast one and was now ignoring them, or was on his way. they opted to believe the latter.

they hurriedly get up to clean up what little mess there was, knowing spence really didn't care.

ㅤ ೀ ㅤ۫ ㅤ۪ㅤ۫ ㅤ ♡ ㅤ

spencer arrived at [y/n]'s apartment, sticking the key into the door and unlocking it. he got an odd thought as he stepped into the apartment, his mind wandering into what if territory. it was dangerous, sure... but it was hard when he had developed this huge, heart wrenching, heavy crush on his best friend.

he shakes his head when a voice calls out. "spencer? that you?" he chuckles at [y/n]'s voice, they knew the answer. but he decided to tease them.

"spencer who? it's a robber, announcing my break in. here i come!" he can't help but cackle as his best friend's head comes into view, frowning deeply. "yeah, yeah, it's me. literally the only other person that has a key to your apartment, dumbass."

"not true! angela and amanda have a key!"

a pang stung in his heart, but he shrugged it off. they were [y/n]'s friends, spence, chill. he was not about to be jealous over coworkers.

he makes his way to where [y/n] was, in their room with a sigh. he flops onto their bed dramatically, much to [y/n]'s amusement. they pat his leg before sitting back at their laptop, scrolling through their email. a comfortable quiet falls over the two, the only real noise coming from the soft clicking of keys from the laptop.

spencer turns his head to gaze at his friend- or, the back of them... not that he cared. this had become a common thing, him coming over to just.. decompress from work. he loved his position at smosh, but [y/n] was really his rock. they had been a constant in his life, keeping him grounded. he owed a lot to them... but he guessed it wouldn't be long before the whole crush thing began. how could he not? they were such a genuine and loving person, they accepted spencer for all his weirdness and even parroted it back to him. with [y/n], he could be himself, his true authentic self. not a facade he had to put on in front of a camera, not the one he had with other friends, he was himself with [y/n].

he slowly smiles as they turn their head to check on spencer, a soft pink painting itself on their cheeks.

"stop staring, weirdo. not a good look." "can i not stare at my amazingly gorgeous best friend?"

next thing he knew, spencer was laughing as a pen was chucked in his direction, sitting up.

one day, he would spill it all to [y/n]. but for now... this dynamic was good enough for him.

[mayandjuly1811]

WHY HUNTLOW IS A FORCED AND UNREALISTIC  SHIP.

1. First impressions:

Raeda has the most amicable meeting. About Lumity, Amity shook Luz's collar and almost got Principal Bump dissect her. It stems from misunderstanding, because Amity doesn't know Luz is human but a strange non-Abomination that Willow used to cheat. About Huntlow, Willow seems to be violent for no reasons at all. Hunter disguises as a Hexside student so to Willow, he's just a student that she doesn't know. He's not a threat at all. Yet she summons the vines to wrap him tightly and drags him down the ground so hard that the asphalt gets damaged. Treating strangers like this is not fine and out of character for Willow.

Also, when Hunter is about to leave again, Willow drags him down the ground and takes him to the field without asking his permission. This crosses boundaries a lot. In comparison, even though Amity sees Hunter as an enemy in Eclipse Lake, she just simply uses Abomination magic to capture him, not dragging him down violently like Willow.

2. Understanding:

Raine and Eda have a genuine common interest in music, magic (Eda is interested in wild magic and Raine supports her). Luz and Amity are both interested in Azura, the idea of being not enough for anyone, the idea of being accepted and loved for who they really are. Amity is also interested in Luz's glyph magic and she learns to draw it many times. 

About Huntlow, I don't see any common between them besides flyer derby. The whole “Half a Witch” is forced. Half a witch means a witch who is not powerful enough. Willow is a powerful Plant witch, her fathers just didn't realize her real magic talent and put her into Abomination track, which isn't her forte. If you're only good at Maths, but not Chemistry, does it make you unintelligent overall? Of course not. 

About Hunter, first off, he is not even a witch. He's a Grimwalker with no bile sack, his pointed ears were adjusted to look like witches’. Also, he's skillful at using magic staffs so no one sees him as powerless. He's the elite Golden Guard, one of the most powerful figures under Belos. No one dares to call him half a witch, even if they do think he's weak. And how he quickly recognizes the illusion of Willow in S2ep18 is unrealistic. How come Gus, Willow's long-term friend can't figure out before Hunter? The fact that Willow seems to be scared of Hunter is understandable. Last time, he literally locked her and her friends up, then kidnapped them, he also worked for Belos. Who knows if he's gonna do the same?

Hunter and Willow know little about each other. It's one sided. Hunter knows Willow is a strong and independent person, a caring and selfless girl. But Willow knows too little about Hunter compared with Luz, Gus and Amity. They never have a serious talk about Hunter's trauma caused by Belos, only a short scene of Willow cutting his hair. In Thanks to Them, Hunter has a deeper conversation with Luz and Gus than with Willow. With Willow, he just blushes even though nothing happens. Gus and Hunter's bond makes more sense than Huntlow to be honest. They both like Flyer Derby, they both like Cosmic Frontier, Gus knew about Hunter's being Grimwalker and his conflict with Belos, Hunter comforted Gus when he felt sad in Labyrinth Runner and when he missed his Dad. Hunter's screentime with Gus is even more than with Willow. Their platonic bond is stronger than Huntlow's forced romantic one.

Feeling development.

The way Willow and Hunter like each other is too rushed and unexpected. Starting with Hunter, he met Willow only one time in ASIAS and started to have a crush on her? He only met her once directly and already blushed? And Willow, she treats Hunter the same way she treats everyone. Only until Hunter has power and saves her does she fall for him. It's so rushed all of the sudden. Some people say they live together in Luz's house for months so they have feelings for each other. But there are no bonding moments between them besides the cutting hair scene. Even though the show is cut short, from Willow's scrapbook, she and Hunter don't have any bonding moments between the two of them.

Comforting.

It's one sided again. Hunter is understanding and sympathetic towards Willow. Meanwhile, how Willow tries to comfort him is questionable. He just lost Flapjack and Willow isn't understanding at all. She gives him the Flapjack picture, causing him to feel grieving again. He's been struggling to hold back his grief to focus on helping others. This backfires really back. She should have waited until Hunter brought things up about Flapjack first, just like Gus. He knows Hunter is a Grimwalker since the Day of Unity, but he doesn't bring anything up first and waits until Hunter says it first. He thinks about Hunter's emotions after being traumatized by Belos 

Also, when Hunter looks upset, Willow should have stayed to continue to comfort him?! Instead, she acts like she's the one who is hurting and leaves. Imagine you're feeling sad, someone tries to comfort you. You haven't felt better since you need time, they feel sad and leave you. Now you feel guilty because you can't be happy to make them happy. This is making things worse. Hunter can't even make himself feel calmer after Flapjack's death, yet now he'll feel guilty because his own sadness and grief makes Willow feel sad! Also, when Hunter calls out, she keeps walking and ignoring him. 

In conclusion, Willow and Hunter are better off as friends. They don't have any romantic chemistry or deep understanding. The ship is so forced and rushed.

[mobblespsycho100]

👍psychoanalyze ur kabru playlist now boy

yes I shall #1 boykisser... 🫡

ask game thing

anyway formatting the last post was kinda hell for me. which is why I'll do the same exact formatting for this one...

(rambling all over the place is commencing)

1. Valley of The Dolls by MARINA

baby. where do i freaking begin.

"In the valley of the dolls, we sleep" -> his adoptive mother, Milsiril, is a big fan of collecting dolls. Like, plushies of everything. She animates them to fight, but they're also there to soothe her. She also adopts a lot of children from short-lived races who don't have a family and she got allegations that she treats them all like her dolls lmao... I mean she kind of does in the sense that they're all precious to her. She does respect their autonomy but uhhh still living with such a doting and overbearing/overprotective mother makes u wanna break outta the dollhouse the cage . be free . hashtag transgenderism also gosh im getting off topic . anyway i bet Kabru slept with a lotta those dolls. in his comfy bed . that he left behind because hes not abt that life mama he wanna see the world and save it and get killed in dungeons. boy.

"Got a hole inside of me / Living with identities / That do not belong to me" -> Grouping these lyrics together because it makes sense for my twisted narrative i mean my very real and based takes. Anyway, he's got a hole inside of him the void in his heart (in his mind) and thats why. his autism and ptsd masking swag. thats as eloquent as i can put it. theres a lot more i can say though

"In my life, I got this far" -> He survived the tragedy of Utaya his hometown . the bloodbath because of the dungeon. It has to be for a purpose ™ . It's because he has to save the world from suffering the same fate and it's his burden to bear it's his purpose it was why he survived (the survivor's guilt... goodness man. trauma processing of all time. :[ )

"Now I'm ready for the last hoorah" -> boy . letting these panels speak for itself. putting it under the cut because spoilers for the peeps seeing this maintagged and they're not caught up with manga .

yeah boy hes falling. fallen. uhm. in the pit. Ready for the last hoorah in this case like. yeah 🤣 just leaving it up to laios (Liar . kabru and mithrun dungeon adventure speedrun)

"Dying like a shooting star" -> guy keeps dying. not even like a shooting star really. well. ig hes going out in style somewhat id getting crushed by Falin's chimera dragon claw counts as shooting star style

2. Lip Sinking by The Hoosiers

We all know Sash does not play about The Hoosiers which is why I have 26 damn The Hoosiers songs on there I should get awarded tbh .

Now Lip Sinking is really good because it's another one of those scammer / masking guy anthems i keep talking about. These lyrics in Verse 5 in particular is really easy to match to Kabru's character moment™ though, so let's break it down.

"I float above my body" -> Common depersonalization experience. For trauma reasons, Kabru probably feels like this a lot sometimes but specifically in this scene...

(apologies for no alt text peeps . but this is the friendship confession scene for those in the know if it hasnt loaded in yet)

anyway, back to the show (psychoanalyzing Kabru) . I think this disconnect with his words VS his thoughts and his heart is so real. Like. seeing urself out of ur body is again a depersonalization thing, and idk if hes feeling depersonalization in this moment specifically but he was really out of it and in a sort of , scrambled and intensely anxious state. His usually calm and cool persona slash facade is Crumbling and man he hates that .

"Must be out of my mind / Cos I watch myself / Getting it wrong everytime" -> He's like. man what the hell am I saying

letting the page speak for itself again because It's like. its there i mean its in tha text what am I supposed to dissect hes dissecting himself already 🤭😭 okay. 'What am I saying' 'I can't find the words' so true man idk what the hell im saying either rn

"I can't tell you how I'm really feeling" -> because he doesn't know his own emotions. He thinks he does, he has been so good at controlling them and like being fake about what he's truly feeling in his heart, adjusting his personality for others' sake. So they trust him, believe in him, listen to him. But for Laios, how does he even say anything? Before this, the words just spilling out, he didn't even know how he felt about Laios. It sounds ridiculous even to himself and that's why he clamps his mouth afterwards but indeed it Is what he was truly feeling all along... (and then Laios thinks he's lying and hes like "NO BITCH!!!? what?!!!?! im being vulnerable and honest rn?!?" )

"Cuz I'm just lip-syncing" -> for so long that's what he's been doing. lip syncing, saying things he doesn't really mean to influence others' perception of him... but this time his mouth moved faster than his mind racing with thoughts. that he's able to convey what he truly wanted all along and finally admit to himself and his own consciousness. like. aaaahgh. man hes so special to meeee....

bonus: the outro's lyrics is rlly good aha. he can finally say what he actually feels... he can be #real.

3. Allies or Enemies by The Crane Wives

This one is . a lot of vibes I think.

"Are we allies or enemies? / This will be the death of me / This will be the death of me" -> He legit says this to Laios . like hes still wondering if they're allies or enemies . Technically he doesn't want them to be enemies. he's cautious but he knows Laios isn't really a bad guy but like, his mind just keeps fixating on Laios and the steps he takes to get the dungeon under control so. hes desperately trying to figure it out because goodness this guy is so. waugh

"All is fair in love and war, but I can't fight with you anymore / This will be the death of me" -> his mental conflict is sooo tasty to me. like . all is fair in love and war !!! any method is justifiable !!! means justifies the ends but also he understands that in the end he can't fully wrap his head around Laios' love of monsters but he knows that Laios will be the one to conquer the dungeon because he also loves his family. He can't fight with him anymore and he can't "kill" him anymore because somehow this man has wormed his way in. well, he never wanted him dead in the first place but I find that he often thinks about killing him to save humanity from his... well. freakishness (complimentary) (concerning sometimes) ;;; but in the end Kabru lets him go and is willing to trust and support Laios till the end ... also once again the repetitiveness of "this will be the death of me" because he's stressed as helll!!!!

"What happens now, do we have another go?" -> I think this is post-Marcille being talked down out of being dungeon lord . Kabru's probably like ok so now what. well. Laios goes its my turn with the dungeon lording 😭😭 (and shit goes down) (but its okay he got it covered)

"Do we bow out and take our seperate roads?" -> Now this is probably when they're (the whole gang) is like "WHERE'S LAIOS DID HE DIE?" no he lives guys its fine. and namari toshiro and kabru run at him in relief. wauh. and also ofc the whole people coming together to eat faligon meat and save Falin ... yippeee... so yeah they don't go seperate roads because Kabru is like yeah imma be Laios' pr manager . #royaladvisor . sticking with him fr fr

"I'll admit I had my doubts / But I want to be let in, not out / But I want to be let in, not out" -> again the repetition ... of him wanting to help. I've mostly been talking abt how this entire song is Kabru's conflicted thoughts @ Laios but this can also be Kabru lending a helping hand to Mithrun at the end of everything. Because he's the one to like help Mithrun realize that there is a purpose to living and like . new desires and ppl who care abt him... but also yeah Kabru "i want to be let in, not out" because he wants to help out Laios with running the new kingdom instead of being in the background again and being ignored ahhaa he wants to be friends for real (and maybe even . lovers. lets go gay people)

ANYWAYYY YEAH THATS THE END WOOOOO idk how to close this out. happy belated birthday kabru and ty juno for sending this in ajshjdhsb :33 ♡

[laylawatermelon]

The K-Drama Of It All

Hello! My hyper fixation has (very unhealthily) latched onto this show so I'm gonna be analyzing.

First of all, I am a veteran in these spaces.

Very shy in real life I am an avid observer in all my fandoms but TRUST I know what's up at all times because of it.

This first analysis will be of the phenomenon of how they playing in my face with the classic K-Drama tropes and cinematic choices.

Let us begin.

Now we all agree that The Bear is a cinematic masterpiece right? Right.

I have been consuming media across all mediums since I was a kid.

I quite literally spent most of my life watching behind the scenes, in front of the scenes, and in between the scenes.

I'm also an aspiring filmmaker and screenwriter. As such I analyze stuff I like more.

I try to understand why they are the way they are.

Now that we got all the fluff out of the way let's get down to the nitty gritty.

*stands on soapbox*

Page 1 of 10000 ehem

In this this essay I will -!

Fr tho. Let's look at this from a K-Drama perspective.

I've spent about 10-12/13 years watching them. And luckily got into it during the golden era.

I literally watched She Was Pretty air (among others). Ex, Strong Woman, Descendants of the Sun (never watched; controversy+ bad attention span), School 2013.

So you know I'm (somewhat) of an og.

I'm those shows it's very formulaic.

This can extend to other Asian dramas but I'm going to try to stick to K-Dramas.

For example, the 10 ep rule. Must have a kiss or kiss in that episode. (Before is fine)

Now they're getting a little willy nilly and getting down in the first EP but I can argue they was down bad back then as well. Just more angsty longing looks.

(which tbf Sydcarm does all the time but it's 99% Carm though)

In KDramas there's something common in the cinematography that I'd call the halo of light. Almost all the time there are some form of beauty shots with them beautifully lit where they're together, the way they look at each other etc.

Which ironically they do with these two a lot on the show.

I know the show is gorgeous but you can't just explain away some of the choices.

I have watched and read a lot of discussions so this will be influenced by a lot of people. I will mention when I got the help from (if i can find it).

Now I just want to say I think this.

These following trope have been here since the dawn of K-Drama time.

Enjoy my infodump.

Firstly let's discuss this here:

1. The Meet Cute/Halo Effect

We've all been screaming to the void about the classic meet cute that happens with Carmy's life and him being constantly bombarded with noise and chaos.

Stylistically this wouldn't be a typical formula for K-Dramas as it leans more into Kmovie style (which valid The Bear was originally a movie) I think it's as textbook as it comes.

Now the original script (which I have read) had a story of different tone. Very Chicago and chaotic but still...

In this iteration of the script idk what the actors were on but JAW looked at the script and chemistry test and was like hmm yes.

A dramatic romcom. I see.

For her she's an ambitious woman who has (maybe a tiny crush) admiration for him cause like he's literally who she wants to be.

Young, talented and successful. He's made a name in their industry so of course she wants to work under him.

But he he's playing the male lead in an early K-Drama with the classic *she enters* and it's like the second coming out Christ being lit from behind her.

The classic 'I can't believe I never noticed how beautiful she is' in all dramas (and romcoms honestly).

You can also compare it to the corny slightly funny moments in slow motion when they miss each other/do the angsty look.

Like this.

Good old kdrama tropes.

What's interesting is that in their scene they do the opposite of what a K-Drama would usually do. They cut the music and let it become calm.

You get to breathe and relax and so does he. He feels at peace.

In K-Dramas, osts are a kind of a life line so they would most likely blare it when he has that realization.

And then at every other romantic moment after.

Another way that it could be is by using very like calm music (still the ost but still).

They do use this with having mostly romantic music in their scenes but it's usually quiet and a bit hard to hear or understand (unless you're analyzing like many of the wonderful people on this app).

Now you can argue her warm lighting in each scene from the finale and introduction represents his hope/life/good change being given back to him in the form of her (but if that's not the most romantic thing I ever heard).

Now for the flashback in the panic attack scene you could argue the blue tone he sees her in, as it usually represents some kind of sadness/distance/professionalism in this show, it can also represent his piercing blue eyes remembering her in the only shade they know how.

Good God that color grading is nuts. His eyes *ARE* the color Blue.

Now I want to talk a bit more about shot composition, color grading and color choices.

In a few interviews I've seen and read the editors, directors and others were quite serious about the shots and music they used were very much on purpose.

I mean come on.

Also Announcement from a novel/screenwriter:

EHEM

WE DON'T EVER INCLUDE NOTHING THAT CAN BE MISINTERPRETED IN SCRIPTS!

AND THE DIRECTOR WOULD DEFINITELY CUT IT IF IT WASN'T HOW HE ENVISIONED IT!

(/hj)

The most telling scenes is the beginning of omlette and the end of the episode before it.

The director had chose to show her tattoo that represents loss in a deep blue lighting which was actually in a similar lighting that Carmy and Claire were bathed in afterwards.

The quora search says it means pain, heartbreak, and emotional turmoil.

It also lines up with the rest of the shots with him preparing dinner with Claire and her being alone.

I believe this kind of represents the emotional cheating (?) going on between them as he practically abandoned her (and their child, The Bear).

(which is a wild choice for platonic coworkers)

As I've said before blue lighting is usually representative of sadness, coldness etc.

In the scene personally even without connecting it to shipping or everything the message came clear to me.

Suffocation.

He was quite literally being suffocated as in the last scene her body was on his as he stared in the distance blankly.

Honestly that shot was kind of heartbreaking because it feels like coercion in a warped way.

He feels like he should be happy, he should participate in these acts, he should be doing well.

He's fulfilling his family's wish.

So why isn't he happy?

That's my writer kicking in but that's what I got from it.

🥲 (gimme a sec i gotta cry)

But the same blue tone was used in his panic attack as the camera zoomed in.

Now the ironic part was that they used warm lighting for the scenes with Claire, but it's not that unusual.

Warm lighting has always been used to also represent a time period in the past in addition to good/warm times.

What's ironic is what's literally colored in what should represent good times isn't working.

He's remembering his family in those same tones. The past isn't helping.

But the future does.

Enter Sydney in blue.

Now blue usually represents sadness (or calm) but it's also used in futuristic scenes.

*They benefit from the cold clinical look i guess🤷🏾‍♀️*

Then he becomes calm.

I can also say that their kitchen scenes in early season 2 are blue coded but it has a calm feeling not a distant feeling. It ironically feel warm and calming despite the cool tone.

This appears in a couple other scenes in the show when he's showing her the work done in the early season.

But color wise it's usually warm tones with them as the color kind of transitions in that scene. It's half half.

His view is warm because he thinks she's good with what he did and hers is cold because he ditched her so yeah.

Now shot wise let's discuss because it's a bit obvious.

The staff head mentioned loving close ups to show the characters emotion but also to convey a sense of what's not being said.

An example of his uncertainty with Claire is the car scene. In most of his shots it's extremely close to her and gives off an awkward vibe.

But when you go to her perspective, she's more open and his shots show background and more of his character, also reflecting their relationship with each other,

This persists with the kitchen scene as well.

When I rewatch it it has that same quality. It's a bit more pulled out (obviously as they literally spent the night together so anyone would feel closer) but there's still an awkward/dreamlike feel like when its on her like she's not quite based in reality.

Or in Carmy's self sabotaging view, too good to be true.

In comparison to Sydney, the shots with her are almost always wide and open.

We see it with them as early in season one with the outside scene where he's staring her down and gets her to open up.

You can argue that almost all of their shots are as equals, or in the same frame with an openness that have/represents when they're communicating with each other. (I'm def writing about their communication)

Sydney's character is ironically what a male lead would be like and Carmy would be more of the female archetype.

Which I really appreciate now that I think about it.

The male lead is usually very successful/good at what they do, hesitant to share but when they do you feel it and know it's sincere. They're usually more bumbly with expressing when they're emotional but when they do its like a huge release. And when they love it's very obvious and excessive at times.

In comparison, Carmy is very expressive, sensitive and aware. He's devoted (Claire sorry but you don't quite count) to things he's passionate about, willing to communicate and has traits of sensitivity.

His eyes and body tells what he's feeling almost immediately. (Also JAW is just an incredible actor)

In Kdrama land their roles would be switched. Hell I can argue some American dramas as well.

Back on topic though.

The Halo Effect is there. Like all the time.

To my next point-

2. The She Looks Away, I Look At Her

Now you may argue this is very Disney Rapunzel, all that coded.

You will also be correct.

I am a Disney (more Nick honestly) kid.

This too applies to the K-Drama world nay I would say it originated there (it did not).

Do you know how many shows I can name where the male lead is just hopelessly in awe as he stared at the female lead because she just insulted him and he wants to tell her he loves her in every way.

Ring ring.

I heard The Bear calling. Yeah imma need you to clock out on this gaslighting.

time to fangirl

Look at the gif sets!

But honestly, it's a common way to show that the character cares and wants a person without outright saying it.

You understand the vibes almost instantly.

He likes her. He wants more.

She likes him. She wants more.

3. Matching Clothes

This one is a simple one but we all know how common it is in K-Dramas to have a matching something.

A good example of a recent show is Extraordinary Attorney Woo, and how they almost always matched even if he was in casual clothing and she was in office clothes.

You're supposed to get a telepathy feel from them. Like they're on the same wavelength.

In ships/shows they usually subconsciously brainwash you into details of a relationship by having them wear or have something that reminds you of them.

In wardrobe, clothing is meticulously planned to match characters financial situation and express their personality. The clothes tell the story.

And the story usually is we go together. Real bad.

So yeah, sure in this scene/episode they were more in tune and tandem and as time went on they became more disjointed.

Granted they do work in a place with uniforms but I digress.

And lastly my third point part II-

Same But Different

If this were a kdrama there'd be like 0.00% chance that they WOULDN'T happen.

First they're the main leads so duh, and second the way that they parallel each other is insane.

There are many edits and examples of them directly mirroring each other in certain situations.

Scrubbing the floors when feeling lonely seemingly in the exact same spot, stressing in the freezer, saying stuff at the same time and their weird telepathy and answering each other's - sandwiches (that's what I was gonna say).

(sorry)

And if any of you say work wife I will rage cause let me catch my man laying under a table like that!!!

Sparta!

But for real, yes there's intimacy and friendship and all that but I ain't everr look at my friends of either gender like that.

If did I probably had feelings and just kept em in. And did the Carmy puppy eyes (TM).

And yes we are aware Carmy is emotionally constipated like a coke bottle filled with mentos with a tight cap on and his lack of a social life coupled with his (many) different mental illnesses/difficulties.

So he probably doesn't even recognize or even want to recognize them as such and honestly as a 4 lifer

I'm really sad but I don't think he'll confess in the next season.

I'm making a post about it but I'm also uncertain about it lasting more than three seasons as thematically and the way it was intended to be a movie I feel kind of uncertain.

It can extend to 4 but it was intended and the way it's narratively been flowing its exactly like a 3 act structure just spread out (like butter).

The next season is after the dark of night aka main character loses everything.

This season was fun and games - quite literally him having amusement and such. (Training Arc!!) It ended with his demise I'd say.

Now there's no where to go but up.

I'm not saying that it's impossible, but a 4th season would likely be more aimed toward getting a star or maintaining a star etc and family ties and such.

That'd be most likely when, if any, outwardly romantic contact should happen.

But they might surprise me.

Butt honestly in KDrama land there's no way the set up isn't romantic even if it was just a chef or professional focused show.

I'd say it'd be standard honestly for ones focused on career with a dash of romance.

Ex. Miss Hammurabi (best example)

The Good Doctor (Japanese Version)

There's probably more but I exclusively watch romance so 🤷🏾‍♀️.

In Conclusion,

Yes. They are end game.

I also wanna say how odd it is that this ship is attacked by fans of the show and non fans alike because I've literally grew up in the age of Rise of The Brave Tangled Guardians.

There's nothing more random than that time period.

They all dated each other!

Like my guy there's a Tony the Tiger x Grinch fic and don't even get me started on the Onceler selfcest as different flavors of himself (/j i love stuff like this)!

My point is it's not that unusual for the two leads to be shipped. Same gender or not.

I also have years of teenage brain rot developed from eating movies for breakfast so I know more than you! (/hj) I'm obviously right!

I will be discussing some more of this in length at a later date.

But I rest my case.

I will retreat into my cave until next time.

[la-pheacienne]

Neither Daemon nor Rhaenyra never actually spoke words "I love you/her/him" about each other. it is not an accusation, just a note. At what moment do you think their feelings changed from familial to romantic and they realized it? I think Rhaenyra had a teenage crush on him even in ep 1. But he probably realized something only in episode 4.

Ohhh this is actually an interesting question anon. Rhaenyra just called Daemon "my love" and said "I want you uncle" and then "I need you" and it's true, nobody said I love you.

So big disclaimer. When you follow a story and a particular fictional romantic couple you always need to pay attention to the context. Context is everything. You can also call it interior logic of the story. Every story has one, and you need to keep that in mind if you want to decide how to feel about certain things.

So the context of that particular story is that you have a little girl, raised in an incestuous family and in an era where girls got married very very young, so they started looking for spouses even younger. This girl has a very cool oncle that gives her a lot of attention and also has all the qualities she admires in a partner, but she can't have for herself because she is a girl. He also happens to be hot. So girl falls for said uncle very very early on. That's canon, no doubt about that, it's obvious even in the show that she is smitten as a teenager.

Then you have a man who has been raised in an incestuous family, who is very loyal to said family and has this burden of not being recognised enough as a second son. This man has a niece that he loves and probably very early on considered that she could be a great partner when she grew older, a partner worthy of him, but unfortunately he got married to someone he didn't choose because politics. Then that niece begins to actually resemble him, in all the ways that matter, and he admires her indépendance and firey personality, he understands that they actually have so much in common and that she sees him, truly. She is also hot. So he's like, wait, not only this girl could be a great partner on paper, I actually want her to be my partner in life. We are meant to be.

And they are. Rhaenyra wants a strong Targaryen by her side, a male warrior and Dragonrider like herself, that is absolutely loyal to her. Daemon wants a strong Targaryen by his side, a powerful Queen and Dragonrider like himself, who is not afraid of him but instead embraces him completely and gives him the family acceptance he craved for. Being Targaryens, they are fucked up in the head, obviously (context) and they are also rulers, so there will be fights and competition and ugliness and spite and maybe cheating but in the context they are meant to be. He dies for her and his family.

So love? What does "I love you" mean after this? I believe it could sound a little corny to say that in their context. I believe that they absolutely love each other but it's better to show it by actions and in the narrative, and not by words. Then we also have this kind of shit

So why do we need an "I love you"?

But to answer your question specifically, I believe that Rhaenyra was smitten with him first, then he was smitten with her when he saw her in 1x04 (before he was just entertaining the idea but not in a serious way) then they made out and both realised that they are actually in love, then shit got real very quickly and after many many years they were finally be able to become one. That's it. This blog does not accept any pedo grooming shit, nor Daemon is only after the throne shit. This is crackhead territory and I won't even bother explaining why. Just look at them and watch the show (this is not at all addressed to you anon, it's a general advice).

Btw the GIFs are not mine, some of them are by @lady-phasma but not all, I hope you will forgive me because I'm trying to spread the word of God here.

[hisui555]

Hazbin Hotel thoughts : Foils 3

(Foils 1 here)

(Foils 2 here)

(Foils 4 here)

Masterpost here.

Might as well crank out that one while I'm at it. Two words (and a half) : Alastor VS Vox.

(...Alright, not everybody at once, someone might get caught in the stampede.)

Yep, let's talk about two of the statistically main favorites (well, they're mine too in a way. In a "would like to see them trip up and crumble" way), who have a lot in common despite how much they despise each other. First of all, let's round up what we know : they have a Radio VS Video shtick that everyone and their dog knows about, inside and outside the show, are both Overlords, might have been closer in the past whatever that relationship was based on the torn photo of Alastor in Vox' possession (seen in Ep 8), Alastor died in the 1930s while Vox died in the 1950s, so the former has been around 20 years in Hell when the latter popped up there and highly probably met him there, Vox wanted him on his team at one point but Alastor turned him down as flat as his face, Vox infamously got butthurt (and it's implied he had/still has a crush on Alastor - at the very least a very strong interest to be noticed by him - if going by the Hazbin Wiki's cited sources, the archived "Hazbin Hotel Fashion Stream for the Comics") and metaphorically speaking declared war on him, while Alastor very much doesn't have the same obsession and outside of feeling aggravated by Vox' presence when Vox decides to crave attention, can't care less about him.

Hilariously enough, though, they have quite the lot of parallels, even hitting idependently the same idea - religious outfit, multi-shot of themselves around a target to get a point across, mocking doodles for a broadcast, ominous about-to-lose-it "What did you say" in a heavily filtered voice, clawing up a surface under out-of-control emotions, hundred-watts smile to keep up appearances (and as a tool like Alastor himself points out), the clothing style (though Vivienne liking bowties and suits does have a hand in it), the go-to guy where problems arise (Alastor being the powerful one dealing with physical threats the Hotel faces, Vox being the local babysitter to make things fall in line), the showmanship, the pride, the issues with control, the attention-craving tendencies and hatred of being ignored... you certainly saw the posts on Tumblr, I'm not the first one pointing this out, by far (deuxaeonn has a very good one here). But looking closely, it looks like either they have naturally a lot in common, or that someone (not naming names but giving you a hard sideglance, Vox) has caught habits or is emulating the other sub/consciously. Given that one had a 20 years heads-up in Hell on the other, well, can't be that far-fetched (even if nothing is confirmed at this point by now, at the time of writing).

The main difference is how they go at it : Alastor is steadier and truer to himself than Vox, who privileges quantity over quality. While both have issues with control and presenting an unflappable front (which they are very much not), Alastor manages to keep it better together, whereas Vox dissolves into what can be only called a tantrum when things don't go his way ("FffuhuHuck !") and his ego takes a blow. Vox also has to try harder or more actively to get attention to him (Stayed Gone's beginning, where he We Don't Talk About Bruno-ed himself by speaking about Alastor to say that it's useless to speak about Alastor. "Stop giving him the time of day !" - great job, buddy) while Alastor just has to pop up and in three quick sentences dresses him down in front of everyone. While Vox floods people with too much and meaningless information - be it visual or audible, hopping from scene to scene, Alastor plays with mystery and withholding information so that everyone goes crazy guessing ("I'm sure you've all been wondering") - which works well on the fans outside the show, but inside ? Not so much : Carmilla just shrugs him off, Zestial is mildly curious at best, the other Overlord don't even ask, Lucifer doesn't even know who he is, which drives him up the wall. The only one actually caring (despite insisting on the contrary) about what he does and why he's back ? Ironically, that's the one Alastor doesn't want to acknowledge !

(Oh, Vox, you wish Alastor would look at you the same way he looks at Lucifer... boy this is peak comedy gold.)

Alastor only needs his voice and aura of enigma wrapped into a mystery, while Vox has his face everywhere. Alastor chooses each moment to make them more impactful and plays his cards close to his chest, while Vox wants to be on all fronts and keep the cards coming to drown the opponent with them. Alastor only has to speak to intimidate, Vox relies on his bullshit-talking skills and hypnosis, though they both have confidence and charisma : Alastor's is more about danger and unpredictability, someone to be wary of, Vox' is about false friendliness and advertising, someone to trust. Alastor joins the Hotel for his own personal amusement and is very upfront about his sadistic motives, Vox plays friendly and hides his own behind false niceness and pretend service. With both of them, you need to read the fine print : literally with Vox ("Trust us ! With what ? None of your business" - seen on one of his posters in Ep 2 if you're looking for it) and metaphorically with Alastor - he'll honor his word, and his word alone.

Both also don't drop the façade when in private, though it doesn't take much for Vox to be pushed over the edge (a certain name will do it just fine), while Alastor keeps on the smile even in the middle of a breakdown (though if it's out of habit, or because he maybe literally can't is up in the air for now). They both want control and to be in control, and fancy themselves to be quite powerful. Their arrogance also doesn't help : Alastor goes against Adam without any angelic weaponry, and guess who loses the fight ? For Vox, Stayed Gone is basically him wanting to throw a stone and realizing too late it was in fact a boomerang. That he caught with his face. This guy should write a book : How To Shoot Yourself In The Foot 101. Funnily enough, they also seem to have issues with boredom and frustration : Alastor needs to be entertained, and Vox' life isn't sometimes as glamourous as he paints it out to be - that with having to deal with coworkers that put the "dick" in predictable and the "ass" in pass.

Alastor however is much more competent (if equally petty) at keeping it together than Vox, never losing that gentlemanly attitude (or almost). He rebounds more easily, and while both are manipulative, Alastor pushes the right buttons (not unlike Velvette, even if she's doing it very agressively) he knows will give him the best response, playing into insecurities and weaknesses (Cheap Booze (TM) for Husk, catering to Charlie's need of approval by playing the 'dad figure'), while Vox guides people to the conclusion he wants them to make by letting them think they did the process on their own (seen with Valentino) and prodding for the right answers. It's also interesting to see that, while he responds if provoked, up to know Alastor never really starts a song on his own : even Inside Of Every Demon Is A Lost Cause is a reprise riding on Charlie's Inside Of Every Demon Is A Rainbow that he composes on the fly. Stayed Gone has him responding to Vox, Hell's Greatest Dad is him hijacking Lucifer's show to steal his thunder, Ready For This has him as a part of the group, and only the Finale verse has him alone and clashing with the rest of the song, only popping back up from "And we'll do it with a smile !" line onwards.

It underscores nicely Alastor's ability to insert himself in the life of others and riding the coattails of what's currently going on to his needs, going along with the flow until his goals are met, from the shadows that make up his powers. Vox on the other side presents himself as a necessity taking over everyone's lives, in center-stage and spotlight, dominating all fields from TV shows to cereals and ice cream, for crying out loud, just like he did technology. His powers are lightning-based (outside of technology-themed), which makes a funny contrast with Alastor's shadows. Also, just to nail it home, one has an almost-complete red palette (with black accents) while the other's is blue (with bits of red). And of course, they're both the Old (Alastor, who dislikes anything made after his death in the 1930s) and the New (Vox, who keeps up with technology's evolution, always chases after new trends and replaced body parts like his head to fit better) - hence Vox also appearing more shallow but also more adaptative than Alastor, who's more upfront about his intentions but also a bit behind the times and could be left in the dust if he weren't so powerful, but in a way, like radio, is less regarded but still useful and relevant. As many people pointed out, radio waves are the basis for TV, after all.

Their ascentions to power are also different despite similarities : they both became each one of the well-known hot acts in Hell, though with Alastor it came completely out of left field to the shock of everyone, as he's rumored to be one of the most powerful Sinner souls in Hell on his own (presumably) and nobody knows how, while Vox is the powerful CEO of a domain that has monopoly on entertainment in the Pride Ring, and most-likely climbed the ladder in relatively "normal" ways compared to the sheer mystery surrounding Alastor : Vox made the right connections, used his knowledge, forged the right contracts and alliances at the right times and like other companies associated himself with the right people for it to work (the Vees). Vox managed to fight Alastor and live to tell the tale (getting "almost beaten"), and while Alastor can easily upstage him, this means that he's still worthy of the title of Overlord and probably no slouch in an actual fight. Probably. Or at least has a style of fighting that makes him annoying and/or dangerous to face. However, what Alastor can face on his own and mainly alone, Vox has to do while relying on others.

But seriously, if these two are revealed to have been sort-of buddies in the past, I wouldn't be surprised.

(Also, just adding : the idea of Vox getting dissed romantically by someone who thought they just dissed him in a business-way, because they're completely blind to the potential romantic implications, and Vox thinking this was on purpose, is just gut-busting hilarious. I don't know which way it'll go in the show, but if it happens that way, I WILL crack my whole ribcage in hysterics.)

Welp, see ya next time by brain goes "ding !" again.

Again, Masterpost here.

PS : Thank you deuxaeonn for allowing the link to your post !

[psi-spectacular]

Since I saw @kibasniper111 do this for the campers, I wanna do some headcanons I have for the interns! Also they get sadder as you go down, be warned.

Raz

Trans kid who's fully accepted by his parents. Sorry I just really can't see the aquatos being transphobic and genuinely don't think transphobia is super common in the psychonauts universe? He's unlabeled at the moment and uses he/him pronouns.

Nona mixing up Raz's name with his brothers is because her brain had to connect Raz now having a boy name and connecting that to the other brothers so shes just a lil confused but shes got the spirit

He has (currently) undiagnosed autism, mostly because 1. there is no way the aquato family is able to afford a psychologist but 2. Augustus is also autistic and they have similar mannerisms, sensory issues, and stims so most of the family doesnt suspect that Raz is neurodivergent, they just think he takes after his father.

His helmet and googles are very much comfort items, but they also help with sensory issues. While they block out noise and reduce color in the area around him if needed, his helmet also stops him from constantly hearing the thoughts of others, which can easily overwhelm him.

He's mostly able to speak to smaller animals, mainly rodents like mice, rats, and squirrels, since they were the ones that were most common at different areas he would travel too.

He fell into water and almost drowned when he was little and that was the biggest thing that spurred the "hand of galocchio" thing.

Raz spent a lot of time in libraries and bookstores in the many towns he's traveled to in between practice and shows, and that was the way he discovered both his love for psychology and true psychic tales.

Raz is sensory seeking and douses everything he eats in hot sauce and spices. He'll try pretty much anything as long as its free and remotely edible. This extends to touch, he likes rubbing his hands on textured surfaces, especially velvet and fur.

He rubs his gloves on his face, bites, and scratches at them when he's stressed, so they're worn down where he's done it.

He has a plush toy Nona made him when he was a baby that used to be a rabbit but it's been repeatedly bitten, crushed, splattered in mud, and fixed so many times that it barely looks like a specific thing anymore, But he refuses to part with it no matter what.

His relationship with the junior agents goes from "eugh its weird having a kid here, we can't swear anymore." to "hello, this is our emotional support 10 year old, his name is shitfuck, we feed him moss, he's the golden retriver that keeps the cheetahs in our hearts from going insane, we constantly make fun of him and if you do anything to hurt his feelings no one will find your body."

Dona taught him how to forage and cook when he was little.

He enjoys dressing up and acting out roles whenever he can, and is very quick on his feet with his roles. He gets into LARPing later in life.

Raz doesn't have a specific specialty, so he's a bit of a jack of all trades when it comes to powers.

Morris

Another trans dude, Wowza. He's been out for a shorter time than Raz, but he's pretty comfortable with where he is right now. He's also bi! Woo.

He's peruvian, and was orphaned at a very young age before being adopted at around age 5 by his moms. He's currently 16.

He was one of Milla's orphans, but he was very young when the fire happened and he doesn't remember what happened or Milla, but his back did get injured in the fire and never fully healed, and that's why he's in the wheelchair.

His moms are rockabillies who own a motorcycle repair shop in the outskirts of Trujillo, They're big into 50's american culture and almost always have the radio on to whatever rock station is playing at the time, which helped inspire his love of radio and older fashion style. The albums he plays on KLOB are the only ones they let him bring because they were copies of records they already had.

He has a regular wheelchair with, you know, wheels, but when he fully learned levitation he found it easier to move around with a chair on a lev ball, especially on rougher terrain, so thats what he usually uses.

Despite his amount of Rizz he has no clue that Adam has a crush on him (not totally his fault, Adam's attempts of flirting are stuttery at best). He's just. Slightly oblivious to the feelings of others.

He acts like he doesnt care what people think. He very much does, and has some very overcompetative tendancies.

He and Gisu met in the motherlobe and have been part of the intern program for the longest, spending three years doing dumb shit in the woods while brushing off their intern duties or whatever they are.

He immediately took Queepie under his wing and they end up becoming really good friends, even if he isn't the greatest DJ. Cause he's, yknow, like 8.

Gisu

She/Her Intersex transmasc bisexual. Binds.

She's an Iranian immigrant who lives in a small town in the midwest, Same town as Lizzie and Norma. They're families know each other and they're childhood friends.

AuDHD and NPD.

She's an only child and lives with her mother and grandparents. She's slightly spoiled and they pretty much let her do whatever she wants, as long as she doesn't get arrested.

She's autistic and has a special interest in paleontology and robotics. She was part of her school's robotics team before joining the psychonauts.

She's very much a romantic, but tends to leap into crushes quickly and gets her heart broken.

Speaking of, she and Norma are QPPs.

Morris and her are besties and each others hypeman.

She has a tendency to work on her projects late into the night to the point of not noticing that its three in the morning by the time she finishes something.

She's easily able to focus on something that interests her, but if she doesn't think its something she would like to do, she procrastinates and avoids it like the plague. She gets easily distracted when she finally does get started.

Has a fursona. Its an otter.

BIG Boy band fan. All paul but also n-street, synced up boys, and whatever she can get her hands on. She doesn't care if its considered "trashy", it sounds good to her ears!

Also daft punk.

She loves Dion for his lack of swag and dumb barry b benson ass expressions

She was raised muslim and is personally agnostic but Sam convinced her Jesus and Moses were psychic and she constantly pisses Norma (catholic) off by bringing it up.

She's smart and gets good grades but doesn't have much respect for authority. She has A's and B's despite skipping most of her classes.

Adam

Transfem gay, but currently unaware of his gender, mostly from repression and not feeling the need to go too far inward. (Dont all guys wish they could wake up in the body of a girl and have no one question it and call him a she?) She/He, 16 years old.

She's from a rich, very influential family in britan known for having a lot of successful and gifted members. There's a lot of push for all the kids to do something "big" with their lives, and many begin to achieve that at very young, most having scholarships and awards at young ages.

And then there's Adam. Her biggest achievements are being

Truman's intern and that time she reached the quarterfinals of the county debate tournament. She's surrounded by ivy bound prodigies and musical geniuses and she's just… some history buff. She fades into the background noise, and feels like she's failing her family despite his best efforts.

Not fully conscious of the amount of wealth his family has. What do you mean your family doesn't send you 80 dollar tea overseas every month?

On a lighter note, He's taken it upon himself to become a bit of a "big brother" to Raz because he has a sibling around his age and he reminds her of them. She's trying to teach him how to play tetris. • As mentioned before, he has a crush on Morris but is terrible at flirting. He's one of Morris' few listeners on KLOB, but mostly does it because he enjoys hearing his voice.

She and Lizzie are absolutely TOIGHT. Lizzie immediately pinned her as a dweeb first time they met and she was right. They became a lot friendlier over time and were pen pals when Adam went back home after their first year.

Adam's eyes are all funky because he's got extra strong aura reading abilities, but the downside is that he basically goes blind for a while sometimes and has to orient around the world by seeing others auras and how they reflect off and affect objects.

Had a cringey katana-and-fedora phase when she was like 13. He tries to repress the memory. Her friends won't let her live it down because they have photo evidence.

Telekinesis specialist

Sam

CW For parental neglect, bullying, and parentification. Hoo boy lotta thoughts here.

Genderfluid Xenogendered Lesbian but not fully out to people who aren't the other junior agents. 14 and uses any pronouns but mainly she/her publicly.

Her family life is... strained. She lives in a pretty small town in the middle of nowhere, southeast america. Her family was normal when she still felt like a kid, but after Dogen acidentally blew up a bullies head, it became a frantic rush of lawyers, policemen, and hospital visits.

Since her parents were frequently away trying to figure out ways to mitigate Dogens abilities and find ways to settle the lawsuit they got, Sam would spend many hours alone. She quickly had to figure out how to cook and gather food outside to sustain herself because they would sometimes be in too much of a rush to prepare anything or be gone for longer than expected.

As things started to calm down, her parents would leave her alone with Dogen while they went off doing whatever else, and when they came back they would be too tired or too stressed to help her with anything.

She spent most of her days in the companionship of animals, almost always got up whenever Dogen was hungry or sick or had a nightmare, just to feed him and make sure he was okay.

Her parents basically treated her like a third adult when she was like 10, venting to her and letting her do most of the chores in the house when they were away, and they never really left her with a babysitter because she's "so mature for her age".

She has a strong fear of developing it herself, so she represses her anger. When someone is being mean to her and she starts focusing more on not blowing up than whats happening so she gets an unfocused look which leads to more teasing.

She eventually decided to just play into the "stupid weird girl" role, hoping being the butt of a joke in a friend group and making people laugh would help ease up her anger if she just laughs it off as her being dumb. (This ended up leaking into her and Norma's relationship and was part of the reason why they broke up.)

She did actually get in prison! She had a meltdown when the teasing became too much and attacked one of the girls in her "friend" group. She got sent to juvie for that. Her parents had to get a lot of recommendations from Compton to get her into the intern program and send her away.

The anxiety is genetic!!! Yayyyy!! Same with the autism.

Her trauma's left her with a very dysfunctional view of relationships and uses the animals as a way to feel like she has some control over her life and that she isn't a servant, she can lead too and help others improve themselves. This ended up leaking into

Heavy backstory stuff outta the way, back to the present. Sam's nickname is barncat because she runs off in the middle of the night and comes back the day after covered in mud and whatever else. She's basically made herself queen of the questionable area and forages for food and scrap metal at night. also she occasionally hacks up hairballs. no one wants to know why

Despite her.. questionable pancakes, Sam is actually a very good chef! She's just better at using more dubious ingredients.

She has PCOS and is on birth control to regulate it (projecting...)

Also IBS! She gets random tummy aches a lot and has zero clue why it happens.

Sam's kinlist includes raku chan gregor samsa and that canary she saw once when she was a kid

Sam constantly masks back home and the motherlobe is the only place she feels she can be weird and free. She used to have longer hair but she lopped it off sometime during her internship because dysphoria (i hc its like end of summer so near the end of the intern program that year)

Sam ends up deciding to become Raz's weird older sister. Sam has no braincells, raz simultaneously has a lot of and no braincells at the same time, but when they're together they somehow add up to -7. She gives Raz advice that ranges from suprisingly helpful to very dubious

She really does love her grandpa, even if she's seen less and less of him throughout her life.

Her specialty is zoolingualism, but I think she'd be skilled at abilities that require her hands, like Psi-Punch and confusion bombs. She used mental connection to create a lasso of sorts she calls "critical thinking" which lets her lasso enemies and tie them down.

Norma

Cw for emotional abuse and manipulation.

Norma's a trans girl, who uses she/her pronouns exclusively. She's a lesbian, 15 years old. She's also Afro-Filipina.

I've mentioned this, but her mother is the mayor of the town they're from. They've very much in the higher rung of their town when it comes to wealth.

Norma's mother is very cold and analytical, constantly seeing most things she does as transactional. Every positive interaction is a step towards a vote, every negative action reflects badly on her status. Average politician. This extends to her daughters and how she expects them to act.

She's the kid that's always trying to be on her parents good side, because failure isnt tolerated in their family and definite high expectations for both sisters and how they're supposed to behave. The two of them constantly needed to fight to get their mothers affection and love. But Lizzie's pretty much given up on trying to appease her, so despite her powers being seen as "less rare", she's the preferred child now.

Her mom uses her as a token of "I'm not transphobic! I have a trans kid!" Despite, in private, constantly misgendering her and insisting she barely change her name (norman to norma) You know how transphobes are a minority in this verse? Yeeep. Its better for her mom to pretend her views are something else so she can get more votes.

Should I add the two of them had a catholic upbringing? Big amount of guilt on her end but at the same time a sense of superiority and entitlement. She's devout and retreats into religious studies as a coping mechanism

Raz makes her feel threatened in her status as "#1 student" and she's very aggressive about it.

She's still not over her and Sam's breakup and is slowly starting to obsess over her and why it ended.

Norma is a big fan of detective shows like Columbo, Sherlock, and Death Book. She absolutely wants to be a detective and solve mysteries, part of the reason why she joined the intern program.

She has NPD, BPD, Autism, and struggles with insomnia.

Despite her last name, neutral to christmas.

Shes a teachers pet and would remind the teacher of the homework just to piss a specific person off.

Touch averse, only lets people she trusts touch her.

She's a closet weeb and uses her psychic abilities to make her glasses glow like an anime character

She has a sherlock based tumblr (or livejournal or whatever you want them to use) and gets into ship discourse at 3 am. She also writes amateur death note yaoi. On paper. She gets so embarassed about it she burns it as soon as she's done.

She misses the time she spend with her sister and envies how much freedom she has from rebelling against her parents. She wishes she could do the same but also wishes they could go back to normal so Lizzie can have a seat at the dinner table again.

She can do glassblowing with her hands.

Lizzie

Same CWs as Norma, Cw for emotional abuse and manipulation.

She's closeted genderqueer and a lesbian, uses They/She pronouns. She and Norma are twins but Norma insists she's the older one.

She's just given up on her relationship with her parents. No matter what they do, she isn't going to go back to constant competition and stress. She doesn't want that anymore. The Natividad sisters give off "rich parents in a gated community" vibes but Lizzie abhors their entire lifestyle and spends like 90% of her time outside the house doing random shit

She's realized the privilege that comes with her position, and decided to hang out more in punk spaces and with kids considered "teen delinquents" or "the wrong crowd".

She prefers dumpsterdiving and thrifting over the stuff her parents buy her, stitching and crafting her own clothes is an act of rebellion because they constantly scold her for wearing "Rags".

Her parents finally gave up, deciding to go "Fine, you want to be stubborn? We'll just pretend you don't exist." They give her somewhere to live but otherwise don't acknowledge her existence in the family until she learns to behave. She created a second hangout spot in an abandoned building with her friends and she'd spend long hours there.

She'd rather be a high school slacker who hangs out with poorer punk kids who arent "in the right groups" and actually have a social life than fighting for the spot of "perfect precious angel child" for the rest of her life. No matter how many punishments they give her. She won't let anyone know, but the way her parents treat and talk about her really hurts.

She has undying hatred for hostile architecture and drags Norma along to melt the spikes.

She fake smokes. Using candy cigarettes and using her powers to make smoke because it makes her look cool but she doesn't want lung cancer.

Very into Christmas but more into the gift making and pagan traditions.

She reads vampire romance novels for flirting tips (and also cuz they're her guilty pleasure). She also pretends to be a vampire sometimes.

She enjoys going cryptid hunting and scouring local forums for information.

Hates wearing fancy dresses. Ripped up skirts and suits ONLY.

Introduced Norma to anime, favorite is Akira and fave manga is Battle Angel Alita.

[myriadparacosm]

Black Beats Black - IV. Dentelle de la Reine Anne Part.2

Part 1. (Sorry Tumblr can't handle the size) Chapter I. - II. - III. Read on my AO3

“I could drop my pot of ink from here… it will kill him.”

Next to him, Evan leans a bit further into the window to squint down at the people crossing one of the castle’s bridges. It’s easy to spot Lupin walking with Evans and Pettigrew– just as natural for Regulus to slowly push off the edge of the window. He sits back down amongst the opened books and the brewing cauldron between them. They are in one of the highest towers to be left alone as it’s rarely used except for the hidden snogging, though with the cold no one wants to risk their tongues frozen together. Perfect for them to experiment and study in peace with no eavesdropping.

“Better use a cauldron, squish him like an insect,” he advises. “It’s difficult to piece a brain back together.”

Regulus glares at Lupin who escapes through one of the heavy doors before he can decide on the perfect murder. After reminiscing with Sirius and now that they have clarified everything that was needed - Regulus has prepared his share of the Animagus potion and even freed space in his potion’s pouch made to transport potion without shaking them. Despite Sirius and Barty’s night, Which-Must-Not-Be-Remembered, Evan is still friendly though he more than often likes to remind them that he is here if they even look at each other.

He coughs petals and grabs some to put them in their dedicated bag to use them for more experiments. Some flowers are also there and neither ever wilt.

“Do you know why Em’ is avoiding Sirius?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Emmeline hasn’t changed but she is staying away from Sirius outside from when they all hang out in the Room of Requirement. She doesn’t appear to hate him and he doubts that she has a problem helping him ever since their adventure to the Kelpie’s Dance. It’s been two weeks since that. Regulus still has the mandrake leaf in his mouth and they have managed to come up with a potion within days that should eliminate the poison and also hold the coughing for a few hours.

“She carries a torch for him.”

“What?” Regulus startles, looking up from the potion they are brewing. “Emmeline?”

“Not romantically,” Evan says, turning a page of the book, “this happened with all of us, don’t you remember?”

Whilst Regulus, Barty and Evan almost immediately hit off, which was followed by Dorcas helping them before Pandora dropped herself on their laps– Emmeline has only really been friends with them starting third year. She wasn’t alone as Slytherins tend to stay as tight groups and it’s by the clamorous lot of girls. Contrary to what most people thought, Emmeline was at the head of the group even if she appeared distanced if not absent. She watched them though but they only managed to get close when they started working on their first arithmancy project.

Emmeline kept offering Regulus to work on arithmancy together and she always seemed quite happy but it’s only when Pandora mentioned at random that maybe she has a crush on him; which would have make sense if Emmeline hasn’t started partnering with Evan during potion or gossiping with Barty and laughing at any of his joke even if at first the depraved ones surprised her. Dorcas sort of confronted her too, as she assumed that Emmeline had a crush on her because she always sat with her in the common room and complimented her works, and she gently let her down but Emmeline quickly corrected her that she has no interest. Pandora offered to kiss, just like that, but was also shot down, quite funnily from what she said but Emmeline refuses the story to be shared.

They quickly understood that Emmeline has what you might call ‘fall in friendship’. Though it’s not related to her own disinterest in love. Like for all of them, Emmeline appears intense once she is interested in someone but she only means it platonically, easily blushing only because she is happy. She is quite embarrassed about this part of her and she avoided them up until they dragged her back in their group.

“Oh. Right. I forgot that,” Regulus admits and automatically steers the potion. “Sirius?”

“Are you really surprised? Your brother is alright once he shuts his mouth.”

He rolls his eyes. “Please, don’t try to fool me. I know you two like to chit-chat about these rancid books.”

“I don’t!”

“Yes you do. Sirius is maybe a worse romantic than you but I have tried one of your books and I know you’re not that different,” he replies with a smile at his glare. “Pirates, uh?”

“Do I need to remind you that I’m the one deciding whether you two stay married?” Evan hisses with his cheeks red. “Or that the whole school would feast on that gossip if it ever got out?”

Sirius Black is already rumoured to either be a Gryffindor spy in Slytherin or a Slytherin King to be with Regulus. Better leave it aside that Evan obviously likes Sirius but only holds a grudge because Barty likes to say dumb things out loud.

“Well, I wouldn’t have thought that Emmeline would like my brother that much.” Any of his friends really. “So she is avoiding him now.”

“You know how she is,” Evan says. “She is probably trying to be discreet about it considering how Sirius might think the same as us.”

“Him and his fat ego certainly will take it that way.”

Sirius actually doesn’t make the connection. He asks Regulus if Emmeline has tons of homework or started a painting that took up most of her time since he has barely talked to her; she often finds an excuse to leave when their number diminishes. That’s the only reason why Regulus decides to talk to Emmeline. Sirius might ask her what’s wrong and who knows how that will go.

The Slytherin dorm isn’t openly hostile to them but many people look at them with a wary look. Snape or his minions haven’t tried anything on them yet but who knows how stupid they can be even at their lowest. Sirius, often if not always, lets his door appear so they have started to mingle in the Room of Requirement instead; it probably doesn’t help with their reputation.

“Are you free Em’?”

Emmeline moves her eyes away from her new painting to greet Regulus with a smile. “Of course. Is everything alright?”

“Everything is fine.”

It was still an abandoned classroom up until Emmeline started her art club during fourth year. They have all helped her clean it even if it was just a small wand movement. Regulus has almost considered practising the piano or even ballet, which he has liked to do even if it’s their parents hammering them into them but they have stopped once they got to Hogwarts. The upcoming war is more important. Sirius also got these classes but preferred to draw, which is considered as a meaningless skill compared to music.

“What are you painting?”

“Just… my current inspiration.”

They are alone for now and Emmeline is the most frequent one, even getting detention because she left the club in the middle of the night. The painting is still at its early stage but Regulus can recognize a tower next to what appears to be water. The shades are for most, dark and icy, for now.

“Do you mean Sirius?”

Emmeline’s brush is squashed on the painting before she quickly withdraws it. She stares at the smudge of black before clearing her throat.

“I can salvage this later…” She trails off, putting down her tools, with red cheeks.

“He has only noticed that you are busy, perhaps avoiding him,” Regulus reassures and holds back his amused smile when she looks at him, embarrassed. He sits down on the ottoman. “You’re making a portrait of my brother?”

She nods before brushing her dark hair behind her ears. “I showed him yours and he quite liked it. And he agreed to let me paint one of him. I hope to finish it– soon.”

“It looks like a good start.”

Regulus knows the basics of arts but it has never called him more like Sirius. It’s definitely going to be pretty anyhow considering that Emmeline is the one painting; though how she pictures Sirius is still a bit of a mystery as all the colours are so far leaning toward dark.

“Is it obvious?”

“To us, yes,” Regulus admits. “Though I never thought that you would like Sirius that much.”

“Don’t you think it’s weird?” She mutters, rubbing her bottom lip with her teeth.

Regulus frowns, slightly surprised that she seems to feel embarrassed or for him to have a real problem with that. He isn’t jealous, to his own surprise, and if anything he is elated that all his favourite people have accepted each other further than appearance. If Emmeline actually liked Sirius then it would be sad for her considering that his brother is spoken to, to death. Regulus wishes Sirius would fall in love with someone else as wonderful as Emmeline and not a stupid jerk.

“No. Of course not,” he says. “I can actually understand how you two would get along. Sirius can act as rebellious as he wants but I know he isn’t as disattached to what we were taught. He loved the violin but only when he could play what he enjoyed so he was awful with our personal professor. I’m– I wish he didn’t throw all our childhood away but I know it was harder for him than for me.”

“Now that you two are talking, you will make many more good memories and perhaps it will help Sirius too,” she says with a small thoughtful smile. “The violin, though..? That’s interesting.”

“You wouldn’t think so, right? I don’t know if he completely forgot about it or not.” She nods but it hasn’t cleared her spirit completely so Regulus considers his next words. “Sirius isn’t the type to lie, even though he perfectly can. So I didn’t think– that everything would go as smoothly as it is now. Sirius could have been awfully difficult to deal with. With the circumstances and what happened with his friends, I doubt Sirius has the strength to play nice with anyone. If you all hated him or didn’t give him a chance, he would think he deserves it.”

“I find this unnecessarily sad,” she admits.

“But that’s exactly why I’m sure that Sirius sees you as a friend, just like you do.”

Emmeline nods and tilts her head before closing her eyes. “I feel like I’m already mourning him… I can’t imagine what you must feel,” she whispers. “I have barely gotten to know him and yet it’s so easy. I’m scared that– all of this attention will feel unwarranted to him but I also don’t want to regret him when I have barely even known him.”

Regulus swallows down and takes a deep breath before opting to ignore the heavy subject. “You do sound like you have a crush on him.”

“A friendly one,” she argues with flushed cheeks. “We have already settled on that, haven’t we? Friends! I do not-”

“I’m only teasing you,” he chuckles and she purses her lips with a menacing squint. “It’s rather cute.”

“I just hope that Sirius doesn’t assume that either. You all understood me but what if he finds it weird that I don’t… care for a lover. I do not want to bring that up considering his position.”

“He will understand it,” Regulus says without a doubt. “I’m sure that either way it will feed his ego, even if he doesn’t need it, and make him happy. He might tease a tad bit.”

Emmeline sighs. “But isn’t Marlene McKinnon his closest friend, outside of his dormmates? I’m nothing like her… Or any of his original friends. None of us are. Wouldn’t he find it weird that someone like me wants to be– close friends when only a few weeks he never knew me?”

“You do not plan to steal McKinnon’s spot or anyone else, do you? Then you shouldn’t worry about that. I still doubt that Sirius’ old friends will ever try to talk to him.”

“Didn’t you say that Potter wants to talk with Sirius?”

“He is only pestering me because he is scared that Sirius will talk about whatever secret broke their little group,” he argues. “Maybe he really is avoiding Potter but Lupin will be nearby and who knows how that will affect Sirius so it’s better to forget about him.”

“But he hasn’t told you, right?”

“No. I doubt he will.”

Emmeline sighs. “This is so unfortunately complicated.”

He watches her, offering a hand that she squeezes with a shy gaze. “Are you worried that Sirius won’t be happy that you want to be friends with him? From what I have seen, I should be jealous of how you two get lost in conversation while I’m right there.”

“Oh, Reg-”

“So I can assure you that he values you. Pandora always surprises him and he enjoys this kind of game, just like Barty who I worry might start an enormous prank with him that will close the school.” She chuckles and he smiles. “Evan was more difficult because-”

“Barty also didn’t help.”

“When has he helped willingly?” He snorts. “But thankfully they found some common ground. Even our Purebloods upbringing, being above each other and how backwards our supposed evolved society works— they talk without attacking each other and I noticed that despite the subject they are somehow giving each other hope too.”

“Every empire falls at some point,” she whispers and squeezes his hand.

He nods. “Dorcas is more similar to Sirius I suppose, they match each other and I can see that they are having fun. You were here at the Kelpie’s Dance, they were in their own little world. I guess McKinnon is also more of this type but this doesn’t mean that Sirius can’t see you as a proper friend. Salazar, Barty and him get along which doesn’t terrify me enough so please be the best of friends just so Sirius doesn’t end up in Azkaban.”

Emmeline considers it with a frown before nodding. “They would.”

“But really, you should just tell Sirius that you really like him,” Regulus says. “We are all friends with you and I doubt that he will find it weird that you have no interest in love, if you want to specify it.”

“I think so too… But it’s so strange for some people.” She purses her lips before clearing her throat. “Friends satisfy me and I don’t see why I should marry anyone. I love all of you. I made the mistake of mentioning it before and the looks they gave me.”

“Who?”

She shakes her head. “It’s alright, I dealt with it in third year. But you’re right, I should talk to Sirius.”

“He misses you.”

Emmeline blushes with a chuckle. Regulus smiles and squeezes her hand one last time. He doesn’t know how this conversation went but he is sure that it happened since Sirius commented out of nowhere that Regulus picked the right friends. He doesn’t have anything to complain about so he focuses back on his heavy old latin reading that might concern the Hanahaki. It has become a kind of ritual that Regulus sleepovers - not because of the list.

They manage to come up with one potion that should kill the Hanahaki but Sirius only got a stomach ache from it. His coughing hasn’t increased despite what happened when he hallucinated but it’s still here. Regulus isn’t sure but he feels like more petals are coming up in his throat, building up for his series of coughs. It’s relieving and a bad omen since it means that the bond is working but the Hanahaki fights back.

Only one week left before they take the Hogwarts Express for the short, yet determinant, break. His parents answered to his insignificant letter, only meant for Kreacher to get his message, only to talk about what Regulus should do and some meaningful comments about his upcoming destiny. The war might be close but he doesn't care about it - not when Sirius is right here. Once his brother is healed then perhaps he will care about this blasted mess.

It’s probably because they are this close to this dangerous jump into the future that Regulus is too distracted to shield himself from a sudden explosion. He was just about to join Sirius for dinner in the Room of Requirement when he finds himself glued to a liquid that keeps bubbling from a knight’s armour that fell to pieces.

“Hah! Got you!”

Filch rounds the corner, finding Regulus' knees deep into the sticky mixture and trying to shake it off his hands, with James Putain de Potter.

“Oh, Reg’,” he says with the fakest worry ever, “I told you to be careful with these potions.”

Regulus is going to make him his glasses the moment he gets a chance– but first he cursed him as loudly as he can before he needed to justify that he wasn’t some part of this stupid prank.

“Then what is that?” Filch asks with a mean smile, taking out a small potion from where Regulus’ bag spilled when he fell. “This looks exactly like what Mister Potter had.” Potter winks at Regulus with an impish smile. Filch doesn’t hear him despite the many complaints. Regulus has no idea how he slipped that potion in his bag, he couldn’t have thrown it or one of them would have noticed, plus with the explosion it should have been triggered. His bag is the safest option but he would have noticed Potter slipping behind him.

He gets detention with Potter - because apparently Regulus doesn’t have enough on his plate. Because the break is nearing, the detention is barely the day after so Regulus has digested nothing which leaves him in a horrible mood. With Fitch on his ass, he was sent back to the Slytherin dormitory which meant that he didn’t even see Sirius. Not that he wants his brother to hear about this especially when his friends are teasing him enough about Potter.

It’s in Care of Magical Creatures that they need to do the detention and Regulus is late on purpose even if he really likes the class and Professor Kettleburn. His parents had complained that he picked this course but Regulus enjoys it too much to drop it off. It’s cold so he hopes that whatever they have to do will be quick because this only diminishes his patience to deal with Potter.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

“I will cut your tongue and feed it to a hippogriff.”

“Now what an inspiration!” Kettleburn exclaims as Regulus glares at Potter. “But this time we only need to rework the paddocks and prepare portions to feed all our magnificent friends. Mister Black, can you guide our new guest? I need to check on the unicorns.”

“Of course, Professor.”

He lists the creatures they need to check also on or will require immediate feeding before wandering off in the forest. Regulus decides to finish this list as fast as he can and then feed Potter to the hippogriffs; the head of the pack likes him, even got to pet him once, so he can indulge his favour.

“I didn’t know you liked this class,” Potter says with quick steps to follow him.

“Don’t talk to him.”

“It’s great, really,” he chirps with a small laugh. “You always surprise m-”

“Shut up,” Regulus barks, twisting on his feet to face him with a burning glare. “You bloody planned this, didn’t you? You better back off because I know a lot of creatures ready to eat you alive.”

Potter still follows him in the shed, diligently picking up what Regulus does before he walks out. “I told you that I needed to speak to you!” He points out. “You left me no choice.”

“I understand why Sirius is avoiding you now,” he huffs out, dropping the bag of cabbages for the flobberworm before throwing some in the group. “Don’t put that here! It’s for the streelers!” Potter does as he says, even if Regulus’ tone is as sharp as a whip, and somehow manages to keep his smile on. It goes like that for a moment but he has never been infamous for keeping his mouth shut.

“Look Regulus, I’m sorry that I pulled off but you really left me no choice,” Potter says, sounding almost sorry which is why Regulus dropped a large box on his foot. “Ouch! What was that for?!”

“Didn’t see you. It was in the way of the hay.”

Potter sighs but continues to follow him through all the tasks. “I tried to talk to you politely so you really left me no choice but force you in the same spot with me for a time, alright?”

“You could have left me alone instead of being your idiotic self.”

“I can’t figure out where you’re hiding with Sirius but he also doesn’t want to talk to me and I really need to.”

“Write him a letter. We need something for the fire-place.”

Regulus tries to elbow him when his arm is grabbed but Potter quickly traps him against the crups’ fence.

“Regulus, I’m trying to solve what happened with Sirius, alright?”

“Let me go.”

One of the crups is tugging on his pant’s leg. Potter stares at him, lips pursed, before straightening himself and taking a step closer. Regulus considers climbing over the fence because rolling in a sea of crups would be better than whatever is going on.

“You have no idea how happy I am that you and Sirius are talking again,” Potter says. “I wish I had been here to see that but– things were difficult. We never meant to kick him out of the dorm and we could have talked to him but… It was hard on Remus.”

“And I’m supposed to feel bad for you all?” Regulus sneers.

“No,” he replies before wetting his lips. “Well, maybe. What happened was really difficult to understand because I frankly still can’t believe it and I should have been here for Sirius too. That’s my bad.”

“Oh really? Almost made me think otherwise.”

Potter huffs out, almost laughing and his face doesn’t fully lose it as he observes Regulus. There is a smudge on his left glass that he probably could clean. If he starts considering what he can touch though there are many other options that are far more entertaining.

“I’m trying to solve what happened,” Potter whispers as his eyes drop to the ground. “We all got hurt and I didn’t try to reach out for Sirius. Which is what I’m trying to do now because we haven’t really listened to him… Marlene is going bonkers too because Sirius avoids her too. Even Remus is open to talk.”

He quickly closes his eyes and swallows these treacherous ideas. Potter is an enemy, no matter how he looks, the amount of warmth he exudes like a salamander. This is a dangerous trap. Regulus pushes him off as far as he can before shoving him so he lets go of his arm

“Like I said,” he articulates with a precarious voice. “Write a letter.”

Potter lets him storm off but shadows him quickly and even takes the bag of fresh meat from his hands. “I get it that you are on Sirius’ side Reggie-”

“Don’t call me that.”

“But everything went so fast. Remus needed time.”

“So what?!” He exclaims. “It’s not my problem what happened! And you’re right, I’m on Sirius’ side. At least I know better than to throw him away like some forgotten toy that you have no use for anymore!”

“That’s what I’m trying to solve!”

“Yes, well maybe Sirius isn’t open to that anymore,” he hisses and furiously picks up hay before stomping away.

“He can’t just stay out of the dorm!” Potter says and pursues him. “I know you haven’t slipped him in the Slytherin dorm even if with your frie-”

Regulus needs to clear his throat because his voice is muddled. “Because the problem is now me and my friends and not yours?!”

He startles, stepping back, with wide eyes behind his glasses. “Wait, that’s not what I meant-”

“Of course that’s what you meant! Sirius is choosing to be with me right now and you can’t swallow that because you think you’re better than us, the screw-ups!”

Potter almost steps back, shaking his head, with a weak retort. “That’s not-”

“That’s exactly what you think,” Regulus spits out despite the rash climbing up his throat. “You are all better in your red and gold better than us little snakes, right? This must kill you to see that Sirius is staying with us. In fact he chooses to be with me! Have you ever thought that he just doesn’t want to talk to you again? Of course not, what matters is what everyone else thinks! Lupin is hurt? Well Sirius too but apparently that’s not important.”

“I never thought that! This was hard for everyone,” Potter argues. “I even tried to tell Sirius to talk to you before! I know you’re not like Snivellus-”

Regulus coughs. He forgets about it for a moment too busy wrestling with his thoughts and emotions, picturing how far he can throw James Potter in the lake, and how his brother is dying while all they care about is some stupid secret. Except that Potter notices his cough, eyes trailing after the petals trickling down his lips, and gasps with a shock that only stains his handsome face.

“Petals?”

Regulus quickly steps back, hand flying to his mouth, but Potter follows him like a mad man. His words are swallowed by more coughs. He shakes his head and stumbles on his own feet before focusing on getting away.

“Are you coughing flowers?” Potter croaks out, voice louder at each syllable. “Wait, isn’t that– that’s the Hanahaki!”

Potter still calls him when Regulus is rushing to the castle, coughing petals. He sprints through the corridors with his heart trying to burst out of his chest - it doesn’t help the petals that he tries to swallow. His first proper breath is only when he manages to close the door of his dorm behind him.

“Reg’! Are you alright?” Emmeline asks, standing up from her game of chess with Barty.

Evan looks up from Barty’s laps, frowning and sitting up. “Didn’t you have detention?”

“A date with Potter,” Barty jokes, moving a chess piece.

“He knows.”

“Who? What?” Emmeline frowns. “Please breathe before you faint.”

“Potter!” Regulus hisses, throwing his bag down. “I coughed!”

She gasps. “He saw?”

“Yes! He even knew that it was the Hanahaki!”

“Did you try to tell him it’s not?” Evan asks. “You could have gotten that from something else.”

Regulus freezes before groaning, falling against the door. “I–”

“You ran away?” Barty supposes. “Well that’s compromising.”

“Maybe we can come up with something,” Emmeline retorts. “The after-effect of a potion or-”

“Potter is smarter than he looks,” Regulus hisses. “I should have knocked him out or obliviated him… I could still do that.”

“Is that so bad if he knows?” Barty asks. “It’s not like he knows that you are actually bonded with Sirius who has it.”

His focus has been bitingly settled on James Potter and his infuriating face which is why he completely missed out on his throat twisting around a mouthful before he starts coughing. Regulus doesn’t consider that he has the Hanahaki– Sirius does and Regulus tries to find the cure.

“Merde,” he curses and furiously shakes his bangs with his hands before glaring at the discreet golden ring. “I didn’t think of that. He doesn’t know about the bonding.”

“You don’t think of much around Potter, actually become stupid once we mention him.”

“Like you’re any better Bartemius!” Regulus snaps.

“I am,” he proudly replies, “did you see who is on my lap?”

“Alright,” Evan cuts and lets Barty kiss his cheek. “So Potter might think you have the Hanahaki. What were you talking about?”

“He was pestering me about Sirius. Even dared to complain that Sirius is with us now.”

“Hah! He is going to think you are in love with Sirius!”

Emmeline slaps Barty’s head. “Not funny,” she chastens.

“Wait, Potter is still trying to talk to Sirius?” Evan asks.

“He is trying to make me feel sorry for them.”

“Well, I’m not picking his side but it might be a good thing for Sirius.”

“What?” Emmeline says with a frown. “Are you saying Sirius should go back to his friends?”

“No.”

Evan raises his hand but it doesn’t help Regulus’ scathing mood. “Look, perhaps his friends have decided to forgive him or whatever. But Sirius’ Hanahaki could be slowed down if he and Lupin talk again.”

“It won’t happen,” Regulus argues, crossing his arms. “Lupin rejected Sirius one way or another and I’m confident that it’s closely related to this ugly bastard in the first place.”

“I’m not saying that it will solve the Hanahaki,” Evan says and stands up. “We all looked through enough to know that the curse won’t disappear like that. Some people actually died even when the feelings were requited.”

“Really?” Barty frowns. “Is it stupid?”

“It’s hard to satisfy. If you don’t believe that they really love you back then in a way you’re also telling that to the flowers,” he explains.

“That’s why they can’t know that Sirius has the Hanahaki,” Regulus reminds. “Lupin will probably try to be all sorry for himself and try to save Sirius but there is no way that it will work. Potter might piece it together if he knows that Sirius has the Hanahaki.”

“It’s too risky,” Emmeline agrees, eyes jumping to the ground before she grimaces and looks up. “Actually,” she whispers with a sorry smile, “I think Lupin and Sirius already talked.”

“What?!” He hisses. “How did I not know that?”

“Because I’m not sure.”

“If he rejected Sirius another time he would probably be dead,” Barty points out.

She shakes her head. “I didn’t come to watch the Quidditch game, remember? And I crossed the path of Lupin with Pettigrew, looking like they were heading there,” she explains. “But they seemed to be arguing, though I’m not sure about what but Lupin seemed mad.”

Regulus squints at her and needs to focus to relax his jaw before he breaks a tooth. “And?”

Emmeline twitches with guilt and joins her hands nervously. “Well I thought I might check on Sirius, considering that he would probably not want to watch the game with everything going on… I found him choking in a corridor.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Reg’ calm down,” Evan quickly says and steps in. “Sirius was fine after, right?”

Emmeline quickly nods. “Yes! It wasn’t– it wasn’t as bad like at the pub, I promise Regulus… I cleared his lungs so he could breathe again but he was dead tired so I brought him to his room.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?” He hisses. “Why didn’t you!”

“Because I didn’t want to stress you more!” She exclaims. “Maybe Sirius would tell you, I didn’t know.”

Barty clears his throat. “The point is that it could have only been triggered by Lupin, right?”

Regulus clenches his fists and looks at her. “Did he talk to Sirius?”

“I’m not sure. But they could have easily crossed paths,” she admits. “Sirius probably won’t tell.”

“Well, that clears this up,” Barty says, lounging in the bed with crossed legs. “Sirius’ friends knowing about the Hanahaki will make Lupin try to save him, if he doesn’t want him dead.”

“Even if Lupin loves him back… If he confesses to save Sirius then his feelings won’t be seen as honest for the Hanahaki, we have proof of that over history.”

Evan sighs. “Right. I didn’t consider that.”

“That’s exactly why I’m not going to help Potter talk to Sirius,” Regulus says. “Lupin rejected him once already and I’m not risking my brother’s life just for the chance that they might make up. Even if they did, if Lupin doesn’t love Sirius back and tells him then he will still die.”

“Regulus… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Emmeline says.

He tries to not glare at her, forcing himself to look down. “Don’t do it again. Please,” he clips before taking a deep breath. “Well, now I have to deal with noisy Potter. Better that he thinks I have the Hanahaki.”

“Tell him it’s me.”

“What?” Evan spins to Barty and his wide grin. “What are you saying?”

“In case Potter pesters you about it and come on, it’s obvious he will, if you need to be in an unrequited love with someone let it be me.”

Regulus deadpans at him. “Why on Earth would I fall in love with you?”

“Hey! Who cares about that detail?”

“Fiore mio,” he purrs and Regulus gags out. “Picture Potter trying to help Reggie, especially because you’re Sirius’ brother, he will try to figure out a solution. If he comes mad at me then I will have a free shot at punching him.”

Regulus sighs out, stomping into the bathroom because he needs a change of clothes, and Emmeline pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Of course that’s why you want to do that.” She sighs. “We aren’t sure that Potter will try anything, if we are lucky he might not jump to the conclusion that Regulus actually has the Hanahaki.”

“Wait, wait, wait a second,” Evan blurts out. “I actually want to see Barty punch Potter.”

“You’re no help!”

“None of you are helping,” Regulus snaps. “And Potter can go to hell! He isn’t going near me any time soon.”

“Except in your dreams,” Barty sings out but he is cut by a slap.

“Sirius doesn’t need him, none of them. He can try to pester me again but this time I will make him mute for the rest of his life.” Regulus growls before taking a deep breath, walking out of the bathroom once he finished putting on clothes for the evening. “I’m going to see Sirius now. We have plans.”

“Wait, Re-”

He walks out of the dorm without listening to Emmeline. It’s his second mistake. First, he froze at the Kelpie’s Dance instead of helping Sirius and now he obviously indulged in speaking to Potter which is why his brain completely left him helpless out there. The advantage of him and Sirius not talking was that at least Regulus was free of any Potter’s presence and shenanigans.

If only his stupid heart could be smarter than this. First year he was too young to understand that liking James Potter and his sunny laugh, charming eyes that can’t see beyond his nose and charisma like some kind of stupid golden god. Eleven year old Regulus was a fool and he wouldn’t want to slap him but apparently his younger self just had to be enamoured enough that he can’t be moved on. Regulus would throw himself down some stairs to put some sense into his treacherous heart but now he needs to cure Sirius’ stupid weeping heart.

Sirius still doesn’t tell him the full story. Regulus lets it go only because it’s a full moon, which means that they need to prepare the animagus potion and they have to do it tonight. His brother assuredly leads them out of the castle, showing him even more secret passage and promising at least a hundred more, as they head out for the Forbidden Forest for the potion preparation. They are lucky that there are no clouds, otherwise they would need to wait another month, but somehow Sirius doesn’t bear looking at the full-moon.

Regulus can see that he seems sad, quite anxious, as he leads them almost at the opposite of the more visited parts of the Forbidden Forest. He even jumps when he hears a distant howl and Regulus would have joked if he is scared of werewolves, as if there would be one around Hogwarts, if it wasn’t for his pale face. Sirius insists that he is fine, only cold and itching to get back to bed, so they hurry.

His brother places the phial under a perfect moon ray once they find a dew untouched by human or sunlight that they fill in a silver teaspoon. Regulus spits the mandrake leaf into the phial, grimacing at the after taste and finally freed from the rough texture against his inside cheek, before putting one strand of hair and the chrysalis of a Death’s-head Hawk Moth.

“Are you sure that your bag won’t move it?”

“Sirius, I know my bag,” he replies. “It’s perfect and completely stable, it’s made to keep potions.”

The phial is immediately sealed and slipped in his potion pouch, charmed to keep the potions safe and sound without any feeling of the outside - be it movement, light and temperature. The perfect tool to prepare potions as needy as this one.

“Alright, let’s hurry up to the castle.”

“Do you have something else to do?” Regulus asks with a frown as his brother hurries off. “Sirius!”

“Sh!” He hisses and turns around. “Whisper.”

“Then reply to me,” he huffs out, joining his steps thanks to Sirius slowing down before speeding up.

“I just want to get back to the castle because it’s freezing.”

With Sirius’ jumpy behaviour and his lack of enthusiasm, it’s probably a lie. Regulus fears that he forced him to be at his side; after all, he could easily prepare the animagus potion by himself. To be honest, he probably would have never been interested in becoming an Animagus before that. Not that it’s a useless skill, if anything it’s quite brilliant and could be useful, but it never crossed Regulus’ mind. Sirius showing him Padfoot, proudly and quite playfully, made him realise that it’s worth the try. This would give them a connection, even if he is convinced that the Marauders are all animagi, but Sirius helping him is special and whether or not they find a cure then Regulus will hold on that memory alone.

“Sirius, talk to me,” he says, trying to keep the pleading out of his voice, as he takes a hold of Sirius’ arm to force him to slow down and look at him. “Are you scared of something?”

A long faraway howl echoes through the night. It seems sad, lonely even, which is why it shouldn’t make Sirius startled and aghast. He looks around like he might spot the wolf, before fiercely dragging Regulus behind him.

“Yes. I am.”

He tries to follow his speed but he is still confused. “Why? You are the one who told me that you know the Forbidden Forest! You convinced me!”

“I’m not scared of that!”

“Sirius-”

“I just want to sleep, alright?!” He snaps but his voice isn’t there, only quiet and whiny. “Just… Let’s go back. Hopefully we will still be lucky and storms will come soon so you can finish the whole process.”

He doesn’t push it. Sirius stays wordless up until they are in the Room of Requirement before finally babbling out about the rest of the process, mentioning that it’s a pain to wake up at dawn to cast the spell and that he almost missed it a few times. Regulus can see that he is nervous or stressed so he lets him do it, answering at the right times and following with questions to help distract him.

The Hogwarts Express pulls up at the train station on a rainy day. It’s not a storm and Regulus is a bit disappointed. He has no inkling about his animagus form whereas Sirius showed off that he dreamt of a dog on the first night. Regulus is convinced that the dog attacked or at least pursued him in his dream. He feels weary but tries to keep himself upright.

The only flaw in his secret message with Kreacher is that the elf doesn’t have a way to write back. He manages to read the code even if the letter is in his parents’ hands but their replies are always sealed by them; Kreacher has never opened them probably because it would be noticed. Once they reach the 9¾ platform, they will go to the bathroom and hopefully Kreacher will wait for them there with some of their affairs. If he isn’t there then they will simply apparate with Alphard’s pocket watch, which will be triggered at 3:05pm. Their uncle probably left this small window so they can say goodbyes to their friends.

There is only Dorcas and Emmeline with them. It’s a short break which makes it quite peaceful. Most people wouldn’t bother to make the trip back but when you have controlling parents like Emmeline, or doting ones if you’re lucky like Dorcas, then you will take the train. Apparently Potter and Lupin fall in that category. The latter looks dreadful even behind his blank face, eyes quietly shifting toward Regulus, his brother and friends, and the book open in his hands appears useless considering he hasn’t flipped one single page ever since they arrived there.

Potter has a lack of manner compared to him. He has been painfully obvious in his stalking. As if staring and moving his face around is a way of communication. Regulus thankfully has his friends around him so Potter stayed back but he often caught him watching. It’s annoying, especially since he appears worried, but he sticks to his initial plan to keep him away as much as possible. From him and Sirius likewise.

His brother isn’t as impassible as he wants to be about them so he keeps his eyes on Dorcas or Emmeline, chatting about the simplest thing. Regulus is up to the task to glare at Potter with the hope that it will push him under the rail of the train. McKinnon joins them a bit late, rushing through the rain with a few curses and pushing herself under their shared umbrella. When she spots Sirius, she seems ready to go see them - slightly furious - and Potter looks like he will follow but the Hogwarts Express arrives right on time.

On the ride back, they picked a compartment for themselves. Regulus closes the door magically just in case a parasite, like James Potter, tries to burst in. He wouldn’t put it past them and he only remembers now that Sirius was supposed to run away with James at first - whether that’s why he tries to talk to his brother or not.

Regulus is woken up by Emmeline, who smiles at him, whilst Dorcas tries to hold back her laugh.

“We’re here,” she says with a quiet voice. “Better leave the train as soon as you can, right?”

“Right,” he croaks out, voice hoarse, as he sits up and startles when Sirius falls on his laps, snoring.

“He drooled on you,” Dorcas snickers and points on his shoulder. “But we didn’t want to separate you two.”

“Urgh.”

Regulus slaps his cheek until Sirius tries to fight back. “Get up you lazy arse, we’re there. And I will drop you here.”

“Tu es chiant,” he groans, sitting up before grunting when Regulus throws his luggage in his laps. “Hey!”

“I said hurry!”

“Fine! You better run before I kick your arse!” Sirius barks.

“Wait!” Emmeline shouts.

Dorcas freezes and lets go of the door handle. “What?” She asks, turning to look at her. “What is it?”

“Your mother,” she blurts out. “She’s here!”

“What?” Sirius hurries to the window but Dorcas stops him.

“She might see you through the window!”

Regulus swallows. “Are… Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure,” Emmeline confirms with a voice clean of emotions. “She is alone.”

“Bloody hell, what is she doing here?!” Sirius exclaims.

“Calm down,” Dorcas says. “You can outrun her, I will distract her or something?”

“Why is she here?” Regulus repeats. “I didn’t tell them anything. How could she know–”

“Dorcas is right, you ought to run before she notices you. At what time is the portkey?”

Sirius flips out the pocket watch from his pocket, opening it. “At 3:05. It started ticking now that it’s 3.”

“Alright, let’s just walk as far as we can. You get through the barrier and rush to the toilets at King’s Cross,” she says with confidence. “She might not spot you in the crowd.”

Regulus gasps when he feels himself shaken. Sirius is at his side, hand around his arm, with a concerned frown. Something must be written on his face because he purses his lips with a tortured smile.

“Reggie, if you don’t want-”

“What? I’m going,” he snaps, grabbing his luggage, “we’re going.”

“Re-”

“We need to go. I’m sure Kreacher is going to be here,” he quickly says and yanks the door open.

James Potter blinks down at him, face twitching with a tensed smile. “Oh-”

Sirius coughs harshly behind Regulus who immediately straightens up when he spots Lupin at Potter’s side, probably looking at Sirius. It’s oblivious they were waiting for them

“Back off!” Dorcas snaps and pushes them to shove right into Potter.

He falls into Lupin who tries to not fall but still hits the person behind them. The corridor is already full of students trying to go out, not as many as usual, but it’s enough for it to be crowded and for Dorcas to spread chaos through it as she keeps pushing them back.

“Go,” Emmeline insists and pushes them out of the compartment.

Potter tries to fight back, though with less conviction compared to her aura, and even calls for Sirius and Regulus between his attempts at pleading Dorcas to let him pass. Regulus drags Sirius by his hand, rushing through the corridor and pushing people away as he tries to calculate which exit out of the train is the best for them; the closest to the barrier to leave the 9 3⁄4 platform and escape their mother.

A lot of people curse at them when they push through but he gives them no attention. They have changed three wagons already and he thinks the next exit is the right one for them. Sirius is behind him but Emmeline might have stayed with Dorcas to stop at least these two parasites.

“Hey!” A student squeals when Regulus barrels out of the train with Sirius. “Careful!”

He catches his breath once they are mingling in a small crowd of students and parents. “Do you have everything?”

Sirius nods and opens the pocket watch before slipping back inside. “We got four minutes.”

“The toilets are not far once we get through the barrier.”

“Are you sure Kreacher will be here?”

“Hopefu-”

“Regulus Arcturus Black!!”

His heart plummets. A brisk cold smothers his whole body and he feels like he is falling but he is held.

“Putain de merde,” Sirius swears and pulls him back.

Walburga Black strides furiously through the crowd with her eyes hateful and burning like a vicious Crucio.

“And you,” she growls, louder than the brouhaha and shrieker than any happy squeals. “Sirius Orion Black!”

“Run,” his brother says and tugs him. “Reggie, run!”

Sirius yanks him and almost makes him fall but Regulus manages to find his footing as they run toward the barrier. Their mother screams at them and her heels clink stronger than before, perhaps even crushing the stone, but his brother doesn’t let go of his hand as he speeds up.

“Padfoot!”

Regulus looks behind to see James Potter rushing to them too with a quick panicked look at their mother. Sirius only pulls on his hand harder.

“Come back here immediately!” Walburga screams.

They are close to the barrier, only needing one last desperate dash to reach it. The guard just deemed the passage safe to traverse for the next student to go through without getting Muggle’s attention.

“Oh Merlin!”

A rough crash cuts through the air, distracting everyone from their initial focus. Sirius slows down just a tad to look behind his shoulder. He completely stops with a wide ecstatic smile. Regulus turns to look and freezes too.

Their mother is lying on the floor next to a toppled cart with two big luggages. She is still alive but clearly in pain, it’s not enough to distract her as she immediately tries to sit up with a deadly hiss and glare at Emmeline.

“Salazar,” Regulus gasps out.

“My apologies!” Emmeline shouts with a panicked voice, hands in front of her mouth, as her parents run to her spitting alarmed apologies. “I’m so sorry Madam! I didn’t see you!”

Sirius blurts out her laughing and tugs Regulus before he can follow. The guard is still in surprise but he notices their duo rushing toward them. He doesn’t manage to stop them even shouting at them but Sirius jumps straight into the barrier with Regulus still in his hand.

They don’t stop even if the landing is a bit clumsy. The toilets are not a completely safe destination considering the Muggles around but they still burst in it, out of breath. Regulus glances around, throat dry and clumped with all the events. The door closes behind them and Kreacher appears with two big luggage.

“Master Regulus. Master Sirius.”

“Kreacher! Thank Salazar,” Regulus says and crouches with a trembling smile. “Thank you so much-”

“Kreacher got Master’s message,” he articulates with a vicious glance at Sirius before looking at Regulus. “Kreacher gathered all Masters’ affairs in secret but Kreacher doesn’t understand where Masters are going.”

“Oh Kreacher-”

“2 minutes Reggie,” Sirius whispers.

“Kreacher I’m sorry, we need to go and I won’t be able to write to you again.”

Kreacher slowly blinks, looking down at the luggages. “Kreacher doesn’t understand.”

Regulus can’t help but hug him. The house-elf has always been his first and most precious friend. It’s probably why Sirius never handled living at Grimmauld Place - he had no allies whilst Regulus at least had Kreacher.

“I will miss you and I will try to see you again, alright?” He says, taking a good look at the confused face of the elf. “It’s not safe for me and Sirius to go back there-”

“Did you tell our mother that we were here?” Sirius asks, tone sharp. “Answer Kreacher.”

“Sirius!”

“Master Sirius is mistaken. Kreacher left Grimmauld Place without telling anything or even to Mistress Walburga.”

“Kreacher would have not told her,” Regulus hisses.

Sirius rolls his eyes, taking out the pocket watch, and turns his back to them. Regulus can discern the ticking and quickly takes out from his coat’s pocket a worn-out white tissue with messy embroideries and stubborn but clean stains.

“Master Regulus?”

“A gift for you Kreacher,” he whispers and forces it into one of his hands.

Kreacher looks at it, panicked, and tries to pull away. “This is Master Regulus’ old handkerchief!”

“Yes and now this makes you free.” Regulus nods. “Do you understand? Kreacher I’m freeing you.”

“Kreacher wants to stay at Grimmauld Place! Kreacher loves serving the Noble and Ancient B-”

“Kreacher,” he raises his voice. “Listen to me! In case you want to go somewhere else, you can from now on.”

He can see that the elf has trouble understanding what is happening. It’s a lot since he already got to sneak behind his real masters for Regulus and now Kreacher must realise that he might never come back to his home. He doubts that he will but if he safely can then he will make the trip to at least check on him. The handkerchief is the first one Regulus ever got and it’s with it that he tried his first attempts at calligraphy and embroidery with Kreacher’s help, now it’s his lucky item that he kept on him at all times.

Kreacher stares at him without any emotion and the handkerchief in his loose hand.

“Where is Master Regulus going?”

“Less than a minute,” Sirius says and grabs the big luggage, with his initials on the handle, beside Kreacher.

“I can’t tell you,” Regulus sighs out. “But I will try to reach out to you, I promise. Kreacher please understand.”

“Kreacher doesn’t understand why Master Regulus doesn’t want to come back to Grimmauld Place.”

“Because it’s not safe for us, not anymore.”

“Reggie.”

“Fine!” He snaps and takes his own heavy luggage, jungling with his second one from school. “Kreacher, stay safe please.”

“Is Master Regulus saying goodbye?” Kreacher whispers with his eyes reddening by the minute.

Sirius softly grabs Regulus’ hand, pocket watch in his other hand ticking like a clock, and he squeezes it back. He sighs out and tries to fight the uncomfortable feeling crawling through his eyes but this really feels like he is throwing away too many good memories at once.

“I will see you if I can Kreacher, I promise,” he articulates, “but for now it's goodbye.”

“Mas-”

Regulus falls ass first. Sirius almost loses balance because of that but manages to sidestep him as he bursts out laughing. The nausea isn’t strong but still affects him more than Regulus expected, his brother’s mirth is still the one bothering him the most.

“You better not be laughing at Krea-”

“Em’ hit Walburga with a cart!” Sirius wheezes. “A cart!”

Regulus guffaws with him before even realising it. He recalls the shout of their mother and the sound of the cart falling to the ground but the way she laid on the platform is even more absurd because Walburga Black does not fall.

“You alright there?”

He coughs in surprise, trying to calm himself down with a last hiccup of mirth, whilst Sirius keeps snorting with lips pursed. It takes him a second to recognize the man looming over them, albeit their striking aura is only because of their height - Alphard still has the same kind playful smile with soft eyes.

“Uncle Alphard?” Sirius gasps out, cheeks flushed from their recent hilarity.

“Good afternoon Sirius.” Alphard grins and offers his hand to Regulus. “Rough landing Reggie?”

He clears his throat and grabs it. “Just a bit surprised.” His uncle has more strength than he thought, almost jumping mid-air from that pull.

“Thank you for the portkey,” Sirius says and offers it to him. “Here is your pocket watch. It’s still the same one.”

“Well, I’m sentimental,” Alphard grins and glances at it. “And sorry for that rush,” he says and rubs a hand between Regulus’ shoulder-blades which surprises him. “This is all a bit expeditive but I didn’t want your parents to track you down.”

“Well, though luck. Walburga was at the train station,” Sirius drawls out.

Alphard shakes his head in surprise before playing with one of his long, ridiculous Regulus wants to say, moustache. “I was afraid they might have contacts in the ministry… Even if we pass through the French Ministry of Magic the British Ministry had to be notified,” he sighs. “This is probably how she sniffed you out. Sacrebleu, we are going to be late if we don’t go drop to the Ministry now.”

“The Ministry?” Regulus frowns. “Why?”

“The Trace will still be active on you, Regulus,” Alphard explains. “Sirius’ birthday is coming soon but they could have followed it to find you anywhere you go. That’s why I had to declare you under my care but the Ministry still needs your inputs… Are you alright though? She didn’t do anything?”

“No, no,” Sirius chuckles. “Emmeline hit her with a cart when she was screeching at us.”

“A cart?!” Their uncle bursts out laughing, a deep one with a melodious rhythm, and his tall frame folds slightly as he puts his free hand on his Sirius’ shoulder. “Morgana, I would have loved to see that!” Sirius smiles at him and looks at Regulus, looking fonder. He is surprised when Alphard brings them both in his arms to hug them. “Oh, how I have missed you two. Mes petites terreurs.”

Regulus is a bit stiff, surprised by it, but he relaxes himself in his grasp with Sirius softly knocking their heads together. The affection is welcomed but still a wonder as it’s been years since they have even seen each other. He figured that Alphard would prefer Sirius, during the family dinners he has always been closer to him; although Regulus was never talkative either and tried to stick to Kreacher’s side.

Alphard doesn’t appear to have changed much although he has more wrinkles than before. His hair is as black as theirs and his silver eyes, a well-known trait only belonging to the Black’s lineage, and he is quite touchy. He is still chuckling about their mother and her experience with a cart at the Ministry where Sirius and him are interrogated over this decision of changing custody and also checking if they aren’t bewitched to follow their uncle. They don’t give them any troubles so they are quickly off and their uncle apparates them in the middle of nowhere beside a muggle device.

Their uncle takes the luggages to put them in a space in the back of the car. Sirius appears familiar with cars, immediately climbing in one of the back seats with a sign at Regulus to follow, whilst he has only heard about them from Dorcas.

“Put the belt on,” Alphard says and smiles encouragingly at Regulus. “Don’t worry, these are safe. I’ve been using them for years.”

“You really are living as a Muggle?” He asks and tries to not obviously startle when the car starts to shake and leaves the side of the bumpy road to take it.

“Partly yes. I have a floo but I have sealed it for now, until we’re sure your parents can’t storm through. The Ministry should update us tomorrow.”

“I don’t think the Potters would have done that,” Sirius points out with a frown at him. “I wouldn’t have even thought of it…”

“Well, if you had left and I stayed behind, they probably wouldn’t have cared,” Regulus argues. “They need one heir. Which means they would have probably left you with”

“You weren’t going to run away together?” Alphard asks with a curious look at him through the mirror in the middle of the car front.

“I would have offered,” Sirius argues.

Regulus huffs and crosses his arms. Alphard glances at Sirius before focusing back on the road. They continue in silence for a little moment with the landscape unfolding to more up and downs, forests and mountains.

“Well, it’s also easier for me as Black. I might be exiled from the family but paper-wise I’m still one and that made the process easier. I also pulled some strings to ensure your safety with the Ministry.”

“Like what?” Sirius frowns and leans in the middle. “Do you think they will really try to drag us back? Or Regulus at least?”

“This is going to make news,” he points out. “The two heirs of the Black family running away? This will shake some things up. If something happens to me you two will inherit everything I have so you won’t have to return there.”

“Oh… That’s,” Regulus trails off with a puzzled look at Sirius who seems as surprised. “That’s a lot Uncle Alphard but-”

“None of that Pureblood manners, call me uncle or Alphard,” he cuts. “And truly I have enough for the both of you. I’m glad you contacted me when I left the family, I had to figure things out on my own and I wouldn’t want to wish that on you two.”

Sirius purses his lips and leans back against the backseats. Regulus is as speechless as him at all the preparation. He hasn’t even thought of the details with the Ministry, the only thing that mattered was to get out of there for Sirius. If anything, Regulus could have stayed behind and closed himself off as he always did. This, right now, is completely out of his comforting habits.

“Thank you,” Regulus articulates with a wobbly smile because there are many emotions to divide and bury, “tonton?”

Alphard looks excitedly at him with the mirror. “Your French is still perfect!”

“Yes well, when it’s beaten into you,” Sirius growls with his chin in his palm.

Their uncle hums and they finally spot a village in the landscape.

“Where are we?”

“East, near the border to Germany, if you want to be exact,” he says. “It has the most beautiful landscapes. Most are muggles, which is also a nice change, so you will have to be a bit careful when you go out. It’s not that isolated and one of the neighbours is going to show you all the nice spots for your age.”

It looks rather nice. It’s not like Regulus is fond of big cities or anything. “Why not apparate us home? Do you use no magic?”

“I do,” Alphard replies. “But like the floo, I have also blocked the house to be found by apparating and harmful letters. It’s safer.”

Regulus nods but he is relieved that they might at least get some letters. He will need to write a letter to Emmeline and Dorcas to thank them for their help. Alphard has been banned from the family, loudly, which means no one tried to contact to him and he doesn’t sound like he tried to do so either way; though now there is risks that their parents might try to retrieve them and that Alphard thought of written them in his will isn’t a good omen. Hopefully the Ministries will manage to do something but the Black are the more, if not the most, important Purebloods family so who knows how that will go.

“I have to ask but is there a reason why— you suddenly needed to run away?” Alphard asks with a cautious look. “You don’t have to say but I hope you know that I wouldn’t kick any of you out. No matter the reason.”

Regulus glances at Sirius, who squirms with an uncomfortable purse of his lips.

“Because Sirius’ personality is ‘how much bent can I be before it becomes a crime’.”

His brother whirls with wide eyes and flushing cheeks before swatting him. Regulus returns the favour and they soon are tugging at each other’s hairs while trying to stomp on their feet.

“Hey! Hey!” Alphard calls just as the car jumps on a cobbled road. “No fighting in the car! Let go of each other’s hairs. Both of you.”

“He started it!” Sirius shouts.

Regulus tugs even harder at his hair and hisses in pain when his foot is stepped on.

“You two, stop this now. You might break something and I don’t want to cause an accident.”

“Fine,” Regulus growls out and shoves Sirius who reiterates in the same way. “Crétin.”

“Abruti.”

Alphard laughs and shakes his head with a big smile. Some people are in the small animated street, it’s more a town than a city, and they appear to recognize Alphard or his car as people greet him on their road who returns the waves and nods. Sirius anxiously squirms in his seat, looking outside before glancing at the back of Alphard’s head.

“Is it— a problem?”

Alphard frowns. “Well, yes. I know how to drive this muggle transport but I’m not sure I could repair it or have the right reflexes if you br-”

“No I meant about the bent thing.”

“Oh,” he chuckles and shakes his head. “Of course not. Though being with the same gender or not doesn’t mean there is no risk of, er, getting a disease or pregn-”

“Please let’s just change the subject,” Regulus groans out and Sirius shoots him an incredulous look.

“You bloody brought that up,” he accuses.

“Yes, well have you seen yourself?” He scoffs back.

“No fighting!” Alphard warns before they restart.

His house, half-timbering, is at the end of the village it seems. It’s not as big as Grimmauld Place but comfortable looking with two floors painted in a radiant green except for the wood. There is a large door on the left part of it, looking like an extension of the house.

“There is a garden and a small field in the back,” he says once they walked out of the car. “Let’s bring all your luggages inside then I will show you everything.”

Sirius takes his luggage and Alphard is about to grab the two biggest ones just when the neighbour’s house opens and a woman steps out.

“Alphard ! Barnabé est encore dans mon jardin !”

“Encore?!”

“Oui !”

Their uncle sighs.

“Who is Barnabé?” Regulus asks as the woman appears to notice them, eyeing them with an avid curiosity and she quickly signs at someone inside her house.

“One of my geese.”

“Why do you have geese?” Sirius articulates as he tries to hold back his laugh. “And why is it in her garden?”

“Because Barnadé hates being alone,” he sighs out and hands Regulus keys. “Go inside, I will go catch him then I will bring these two inside, they are too heavy for you two. J’arrive Hélène !”

Hélène waves at them and stumbles on a shy ‘hello’ before she appears to be too embarrassed, quickly whispering to Alphard when he reaches her.

“What is the use of a goose?”

Sirius shrugs and turns toward the house. “Give me the keys.”

Regulus throws it at him and stares at his brother walking to the door. He focuses back on the luggage with a tired quiet sigh, almost this close to just going to bed even if it's barely the start of the evening. The luggage that Kreacher prepared for him is really heavy. He manages to put it down without crushing one of his feet, glancing at the boy who is walking up to him.

“Hum, do you want help?”

The English is understandable despite the nonexistent accent but Regulus admires the attempt. The door from the neighbour is still open so he probably came from there. They seem to be the same age although the boy is tall, not dreadfully, but enough to show that he hasn’t fully grown into his limbs. The blond smiles nervously at him with a look at the car and the last luggages, starting to furiously blush. Regulus starts to find it funny so he stays quiet, openly staring at him.

“Erm, nice the meet you,” he squeaks out, balancing his arms with a slight panicked laugh. “To meet you? I’m Nathan.”

Alphard didn’t tell his neighbour that Sirius and him speak in French then, it shouldn’t make him that amused but Nathan appears to really try hard as he points at the luggage.

“Help?”

“Reggie! Move your arse because I’m not going to carry your stuff, lazy twat.”

“Alphard said he is going to take it,” he argues when Sirius runs back to his side with a menacing squint until he notices their guest.

“Oh, hello.”

Nathan’s eyes widen on Sirius, blushing harder like he is going to explode. “Bonjour ! Hum– Hello!!”

Regulus snorts at his volume and French accent and quickly turns to his brother who looks curiously at Nathan. Sirius glances with an accusing look.

“Are you torturing him?”

“How would I do that?”

“You didn’t tell him that we speak French!”

“Do we?”

Sirius elbows him with an exasperated hiss before offering his hand with a smile to Nathan, whose eyes widen like saucers. “Hi, sorry we actually speak French but my little brother here is an arse. I’m Sirius.”

“Oh, oh, it’s fine,” he gasps out and shakes his hand, completely ignoring Regulus now that his eyes landed on Sirius, “I’m Nathan.”

“This little prick if you haven’t noticed is Regulus.”

Nathan laughs far too loudly at his joke and Regulus has the thought to just glare for that. Of course their neighbour’s possible son is already under Sirius’ charm. In fact, he hasn’t let go of his hand and Sirius tilts his head at it with a grin.

“I see what you meant by ‘bent’,” Alphard whispers in Regulus’ ear who can’t help but let out a genuine laugh at that.

His uncle grins at him proudly before the goose in his arm honks and startles all of them. Nathan shakes himself off, letting go of Sirius’ hand like it burnt.

“Oh they look so much like you Alphard,” Hélène exclaims with a happy gasp. “They could be your sons. Hum, how do you say ‘welcome’?”

“Thank you, that’s nice of you,” Regulus answers in French, only to mess with Nathan, and she seems thrilled that he does.

“They learnt it since they were children,” Alphard comments. “Reggie, take Barnabé and don’t let go of him while I bring the rest inside. One of his eyes is blind so be careful he doesn’t always know where he goes. Also he is heavier than he looks.”

“What?!”

The goose is pushed into his arm just as Sirius laughs. Barnabé stays still but looms over Regulus with clumsy movements.

“Sirius, take the cake from Hélène please.”

“It’s to welcome you here!” She smiles and hands him a plate with a tall cake. “It’s a Kugelhupf, one of our famous desserts here!”

“Oh, thank you.”

“Alphard you all need to eat dinner at our house once, I would love to cook all for you,” she excitedly offers before smiling at Nathan. “And you seem to be the same age so you might show them where to have fun here!”

Nathan laughs nervously and barely looks at Sirius before glancing at the ground.

Barnabé starts honking in his arms and Regulus grimaces at it, unsure on how to hold it since it’s trying to jump, and they quickly say their goodbyes to their neighbours. Alphard tells him to put the goose outside, by the kitchen’s door.

“But be careful of the chickens!!”

Regulus hesitates at his fussy tone but manages to step outside. There are a myriad of chickens walking around in the garden, clucking and picking at the grass, and they don’t appear mean or threatening. He quickly puts down Barnabé who starts flapping his wings and he jumps back when the goose seems ready to rush at him but he only tries to climb on his shoes.

“Are you scared Reggie?” Sirius guffaws from the kitchen’s window.

“I would like to see you here,” he seethes.

Alphard appears beside Sirius and nods gravely. “Barnabé has some abandonment issues, that’s why he tries to go to Hélène’s garden when I leave. Just push him and come back inside before the chickens attack you Reggie.”

“The chickens?”

“Dreadful creatures. I would rather have dragons,” he mutters and walks away leaving Sirius and Regulus baffled.

“Alright, he is mad too.”

Their uncle prepared them each a bedroom. They are similar, facing each other, with a large bed and the space for their clothes and to work. In his living-room there is an antique piano that Regulus can play if he wants, Alphard says as he remembers that he had classes. His house is warmer than Grimmauld Place ever was, colourful and soft, with the stairs in front of the large living room with two couches and one voluminous seat. He uses magic to start the fireplace but other than that everything appears to be Muggle.

Alphard mentions that once they have the Ministry’s confirmation, he will bring them out to shop a bit. Though he assures them that they are free to rest and do whatever they want. He seems quite happy that they are here and whilst he is tactile, he starts to ask Regulus before touching his shoulder or even hugging him when he decides to go to sleep. Sirius follows him too, probably more tired because of the Hanahaki and he even coughed several times. He quickly said that he only had a cold and Alphard prepared a grog for them both.

Regulus sleeps like a baby the first day and in the morning Alphard is already up and ready for the day, grumbling about cursed chickens. He prepares a coffee for him, mentioning that Sirius told him that Regulus prefers tea except for the morning. There is a lot of familiarity, as if their uncle never forgot about them even if the last time Regulus saw him he had been at best 6 years old. He asks him about what he does here and all the animals in his backyard. Compared to the chickens, Barnabé and his wife - Maria, who is very shy of strangers and is more dependent than Barnabé who sometimes cries when he can’t find her - are simply for pleasure. Though apparently they are good guard dogs too, Alphard mutters that chickens could eat someone if they want to and he advises Regulus to only go outside with him to be sure nothing happens to him.

He is pretty sure he is exaggerating but he indulges in his words and asks to show him what he does to keep himself busy. They had the time to feed the chickens and gather some of their eggs, all the while Barnabé sticks to Regulus’ side like some kind of lost puppy. Alphard mentions that he is considering getting a cow to have milk because he likes to work with his hands and get dirty to have food in his plate - the opposite of the Black family - and points out a chicken he plans to kill and prepare for them this week because it has a nasty infection starting in his eye so it’s apparently better to kill it now before it gets to another one or worse.

An owl swoops by with a letter just when they come back inside to find Sirius in the kitchen eating the breakfast Alphard prepared for him with Hélène’s klougof, toasts and drinks. Alphard takes it and casts various spells before handing it to Sirius.

Apparently, Potter took Regulus’ advice and wrote a letter to Sirius. He doesn’t know if it’s good since Sirius runs to his room to read it. It’s a bit hard to not feel left out but Regulus is aware that he should leave his brother some space. Thankfully Alphard offers him distractions without asking more questions. He offers to teach him cooking, how they will make homemade pasta today with some of the tomato sauce he made over the summer.

They talk easier than Regulus ever expected. Alphard is closer to Sirius personality-wise and like his brother planned to, he cut ties with their family by disagreeing with them. The more they chat though, the more comforting it starts to be and Regulus feels like Alphard understands him as much. He talks about his own childhood and how at first he never did much but obeyed before he learnt better.

“It’s going to be ready soon,” Alphard says. “Go fetch Sirius, please, in case he fell asleep.”

Sirius is in fact more awake than ever. Regulus freezes a bit at the look on his face, wide eyes empty of any clear emotions as he sits with his knees against his chest on his bed. He hasn’t brushed his hair so the letter sitting beside him must have taken all his attention.

“Sirius?” He needs to step closer to catch his brother’s attention who quickly clears his throat and rubs his eyes. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” he croaks out.

Regulus glances at the letter and hopes that Alphard can wait a bit more. He sits in front of Sirius who finally looks at him even if it’s with red-rimmed eyes.

“What did he write?”

He sighs out and settles his face against the top of his knees. “James said that… They all want to talk to me. About what happened and– that he is sorry that he didn’t try to talk to me before.”

“All?”

Sirius nods, face still hidden, and his throat sounds full and sticky. “James, Peter and-and Remus.”

Talking about Lupin would only torture his brother so Regulus crosses his knees. “Didn’t you avoid Potter at Hogwarts too?”

“For good reasons.”

He purses his lips. Sirius has hidden the possible meeting with Lupin and how Emmeline found him choking in a corridor and Regulus wishes he had shared about it. It’s not out of retaliation that he won’t speak about how many times Potter pestered him but on the off-chance that Potter believes Regulus has the Hanahaki, it will probably be more useful that it stays unsaid rather than shared. Sirius is already tortured over what happened with his friends and Regulus adding that he is bothered by one of them indirectly will only add more guilt.

“Does that mean you will talk to him now?”

Sirius chuckles without real pleasure and looks up with a tearful smile. “You know… James is actually worried about where I am, where we are, because I was supposed to go to his place.”

Regulus frowns. “He is mad at you for that?”

He shakes his head. “No. He said that he should have reached out to me because I will always be welcomed at their place, even his parents are asking about me…”

His next words feel dreadful and tighten around his throat. “Do you want to go there?”

Sirius looks at him with vulnerable eyes, wetting his lips before shaking his head. “No,” he articulates as he starts to tremble.

Regulus scooches over immediately, reaching out to hug his brother even if he stays tensed in his initial position. He rubs a hand over his back and tries to not appear as relieved as he is. It’s a nasty satisfaction that Sirius still stays at his side even if another place is open to him.

“I don’t know what happened with your friends, Sirius,” he carefully says. “But I doubt that they are all innocent. They never tried to bring you back to the dorm and… You look sick.”

“I’m not going to talk with them,” he roughly replies.

“Really?”

Sirius coughs, immediately pushing him off to lean to the opposite side as he empties himself in a bed next to his bed. Regulus clutches his free hand and tries to not let his eyes linger on the opened letter; it looks quite long.

“What I did is unforgivable,” he articulates with a rough sob. “I can’t– I can’t go back like I never did that. I can’t believe that I did it and even if they are open to talk now then what will I say? I didn’t mean to? It wasn’t me? I can’t lie to them!”

Regulus observes him but Sirius avoids his eyes, rubbing his sobbing eyes, as he tucks himself against him. He needs to hold himself to not fall as he squeezes his brother. The door creaks just so lightly and he notices Alphard peeking before closing the door to leave them alone.

“Sirius… I really doubt that wha-”

“I almost killed SnIvellus.”

He freezes before quickling restarting to rub Sirius’ back. “What do you mean?”

“I– We have a way.” He clears his throat and digs his face against Regulus’ shoulder. “We have a secret passage to go to the Shrieking Shack but we have to go through the Whomping Willow.”

The Shrieking Shack is the birthplace of many legends around Hogsmeade and even people at Hogwarts are scared of some vengeful ghost screaming from there. Regulus has no idea how to go through the Whomping Willow and has seen it managing to knock down the fastest flyers.

“Is that why Snivellus is spying on you all?”

Sirius shrugs. “He is always lurking…”

“Did you… try to trick him into approaching the Whomping Willow so he can be squished?”

His brother stays still with his eyes on the bed’s sheet. Regulus could almost think that he is dead until finally he breathes out.

“I didn’t think he would believe me. I thought that I could tell him how we got to the tunnel but he would never trust me– that he would do something else out of frustration or that he might attack me and I could hit him with a well-deserved curse.”

Regulus frowns. “But Snape did as you said?” Sirius nods against him. “So he discovered the secret passage and that’s why Potter and all were mad?”

“That’s a part of it,” he whispers. “But I never thought that Snivellus would believe me.”

The Marauders must be hiding something in the Shrieking Shack. Regulus really wants to figure it out but Sirius has asked him to not overthink it– maybe they all go there to shift as animagi and Snape found them transforming. He could easily send them to Azkaban.

“You… wanted to trick Snape by telling him the truth about the Whomping Willow?”

“I don’t bloody know what I was thinking,” he snaps with a sob. “If that wasn’t clear already.”

Regulus can’t help but remember their parents. That time when Sirius asked their father if he could get more paint, he was barely six and still a child scared to disobey who worked on their classes without much complaint. Regulus has been practising the piano and his father asked him to pause so he can answer.

“Do you remember,” Regulus wet his lips. “Do you remember the cupboard in the corridor?”

Sirius looks at him. “What cupboard?”

“At Grimmauld Place,” he says. “You asked for paint one time– and Father told you that you can get more from the cupboard beside the stairs.”

“I don’t… I don’t remember that.”

Regulus can still see it clear as if it happens in front of him right now. “I was surprised because Father immediately told you: ‘Yes. You can find some in the cupboard.’ I never saw the inside of it and they have never let us draw much… You were shocked that he replied to you because they always complained about your painting as a useless skill.”

“What? Reggie, I don’t get it.”

“Just– just listen to me,” he insists and his voice quivers. “You didn’t move and then Father rose from his seat. I thought he would beat you but he only led you in front of the cupboard. ‘Go on, Sirius, open it’ he said but you looked terrified of it.”

“I stared at it for hours,” he articulates with a shaky frown.

“You were.”

The same happened to Regulus who had made the mistake to ask for a small candy, after a rough session of piano with his tutor, to his mother. She had smiled like a predator and accepted like it happened every day, saying that there are some in the cupboard. Regulus has also stared at the cupboard’s door, afraid to trust but torn by desire.

“Why are you reminding me that then?”

“I think… that’s what you did with Snape,” Regulus admits. “You told him the truth, what he wanted, but knew he wouldn’t trust you so he would be t-”

“I’m exactly like them.”

“What? Sirius, no-”

“Regulus. Leave me alone,” Sirius warns, white as a sheet, and heaving loudly. Regulus tries to reach out but his hand is slapped away. He tries to talk but Sirius furiously shakes his head and gasps, screams at him to get out. Sirius stays in his room the whole day after he manages to kick Regulus out of his room. Alphard prepares a plate for Sirius, leaving it in front of his door without a question though he asks Regulus if there is something he can’t do or not. Regulus himself isn’t sure and forces himself to eat a bit when Alphard insists.

He feels like he has to Sirius but his brother doesn’t open his door or reply to him. Sirius only comes out for dinner but changes the subject whenever Regulus tries to apologise. To him, it all makes sense what he tried to do with Snape and if he hadn’t told Regulus that Snape believed him then he would have never thought so. Snape must have been desperate or particularly stupid to believe Sirius or perhaps he planned to be hurt for Sirius to be punished. Potter and the rest of his friends probably never expected Sirius to do something as dangerous as that, risking someone’s life and their secret. Regulus isn’t sure what to think but if Snivellus had died– then it would have been a blessing. He has seen enough in the Slytherin dormitory.

Sirius wishes them goodnight and goes back to his room after showering. Regulus doesn’t feel up for much and turns to bed early too.

“Regulus.”

His fingers freeze over the piano’s keys. “Yes, Mother?”

“You have not finished the garden,” she seethes. “Finish what you started. Now.”

Regulus swallows and stands up. “Yes Mother.”

His feet are heavy, fighting against his will, but they bring him to the garden of Grimmauld Place. The air is smothering and bites at his eyes like poison. He spots a slightly big black cat with a thick tail and digging furiously at a patch of dirt before hissing furiously when they come close. It has disturbed a group of wolfsbane and moonflowers, completely turned over the dirt.

“Bloody cat!” His mother hisses. The cat spits back but jumps away at her hex before climbing up the tree and disappears in it. “Damn these parasites,” she growls before turning to Regulus. “Well, Regulus? Finish what you started.”

“Yes Mother,” he says with an empty breath as he tries to not cry.

Sirius’ dead face looks up at him, buried in the recently dug up dirt. Regulus falls to his knees, bare hands pushing back the soil over his brother’s dead eyes staring right at him. His mouth is painfully opened with flowers bursting out from all his orifices. One wolfsbane is slowly digging its way in the corner of his eyes. Regulus trembles but his mother leans over him as he diligently covers his dead brother.

“That’s the flowers you picked Regulus,” she spits. “It’s your choice. They are hideous. But you wanted it. Thanks to you at least we have good manure– our family’s disgrace will have a use at last.”

The bed is drenched in sweat and Regulus tumbles from it as he screams for Sirius, he manages to stumble out of his room to charge into his brother’s room.

“Reggie?” Sirius croaks out before gasping at the sudden weight crashing him down. “Wha-”

“I’m sorry! Please, please– don’t leave me,” he cries out.

Sirius holds him to sleep. They repeat this over the next nights without a question or a comment and Regulus’ bed is left cold. If Alphard notices it, he doesn’t say.

Their uncle hasn’t mentioned anything about their coughing either but he always prepares them some tea with honey and lemon. Their new home, which surprises Regulus himself that he thinks of it that way, is great. Once they receive the Ministry’s response, Alphard brings them both to Paris for a day. It’s a great day that ends with Regulus getting to pick a familiar for himself, to which Sirius whines but Alphard tells him to be patient.

Regulus has always wanted a familiar but their parents only have an owl because it’s useful and neither Sirius nor him ever got the chance to have one. The cat that Regulus had found when he was younger had been killed so he never tried to get one ever again. Sirius never really mentioned if he really wants one, albeit he looks a little jealous when Regulus gets to pick a ferret for himself.

Alphard doesn’t mention the reason for this sudden gift until they are back home and they find Nathan in their uncle’s garage, the part added to the house, with a motorbike. Which Sirius immediately recognizes as a 1959 Triumph Bonneville T120, which Regulus has no idea how he can since it looks dirty and absolutely not working. Though Sirius has mentioned to him that he wants a motorbike once he gets out of Hogwarts, planning to make it fly as one crazy experiment, and Regulus has no idea Alphard even knew about it.

Their uncle explains that since Sirius’ birthday is coming up, he decided to give him his gift in advance - but that he missed enough of Regulus’ birthdays to offer one in advance. Nathan is an apprentice mechanic, and unable to not ogle or blush next to Sirius, so he is here to help him to repair the motorbike. Sirius appears completely ecstatic at the prospect of learning about mechanics and how to take care of his motorbike and drags Nathan to their home everyday to work on it. Regulus enjoys watching just because the to-be mechanic doesn’t seem to stop embarrassing himself around Sirius and almost knocks himself unconscious because Sirius has no tact and is too focused on his bike to notice that cleaning with his shirt is almost a free show for their neighbour. Alphard joins the watching with Regulus several times.

They eat once at Hélène, with her husband Yves, and Nathan who tries to act natural but his eyes always drift toward Sirius. Regulus manages to spook him several times when their gazes meet. On another day, Alphard brings them to a small forest not far from there that grew on a small mountain to gather chestnuts that he plans to cook with cabbage and a chicken. Sirius starts throwing chestnuts at Regulus first, who reiterates in the exact same way before they are rolling in the colourful leaves. They get back home in one piece and help Alphard cook.

It feels like they are at home.

“Reggie!” Sirius bursts out in his bedroom, mid-afternoon. “There is a storm!”

He sits up on the bed, hesitating for a second before closing his book. “You mean–”

“Did you cast the spell?” He whispers with an excited look. “At dawn and dusk?”

“Yes, every time without a fail.”

“Then the time is here!” Sirius cheers and throws him a jacket. “We’re taking my bike, his first ride!”

“What? Why not here?” He asks, keeping his voice down. “Alphard is busy in the backyard so he won’t see.”

“What if you are a gigantic thing? We don’t want to break the house. It’s better outside, trust me,” he promises as he grabs some clothes to put them in a bag. “Come on, let’s go!”

Regulus follows him downstairs after taking his potion pouch, putting on a jacket and his shoes the fastest he can, just as Sirius shouts that they are going to try his bike. Alphard doesn’t have the time to say anything before they are out. He puts on the second helmet that Sirius spent a day decorating and climbs cautiously behind him before holding on to his brother’s waist as instructed.

The rain wipes in their faces and the thunder growls around them but Sirius only laughs, speeding up through the paved road as they head toward the forest where they gathered chestnuts. He even goes off road and Regulus grimaces at all the bumps. All the trees shake with the wind and they are hit by more leaves than necessary. Sirius is still thrumming with excitement and Regulus finds himself smiling to him despite the cold and the bad weather.

“You need to undress.”

“What?!”

Sirius gestures at him. “Shifting the first time will vanish your clothes, trust me. But if you want I brought a spare. You never know what will happen to them.”

“We’re in the middle of a forest!” He shouts back.

“Exactly! And no one will go on a walk with that weather! Come on, I saw you naked, before it’s not a problem.”

“No way!”

Sirius rolls his eyes before sputtering when his hair hits his face with the wind. “Fine. Lose your clothes then!”

Regulus glares at him before storming behind a rock. “If it’s a joke Sirius I swear-”

“I lost my uniform like that!”

He sighs out and quickly undresses even if the cold bites him in the ass. The potion is a striking blood-red. His eyes look up at the sky with the small question on why he even ended up in this position.

“Sirius?” He shouts.

“Yeah? You alright?”

“I’m fine.” He breathes out despite a furious chill.

“Do you want to go back home?” Sirius asks.

“No,” he says. “I’m going to drink it.”

“I’m right here Reggie, it will be alright!”

“I know.”

It’s not painful, almost as easy as blinking, but he is lost for a moment. He cautiously walks out of the rock, sniffing the air before startling with his fur raised at the steps closing on him. Regulus needs to look up, far more than he is used to, to spot Sirius with a wide grin on his face.

“Reggie?”

He glances down at his black paws before hissing at a sudden lightning strike that sounds too close to be alright.

“I’m not even surprised that you’re a cat,” he chuckles and crouches with his hand reaching out. “Though you seem bigger than the normal cats.”

Regulus can only meow out and sniffs his hand before Sirius swipes him in his arms with a loud hiss of protest. His brother only cackles and scratches his neck– which oh is the right spot.

“Oh wow, purring sounds actually nice,” Sirius says with a small coo in his voice and avoids Regulus’ attempt at scratching his face. “Hey! Be nice or I'll leave you here… You need a name and Twatass doesn’t sound good when you look this cute,” he muses. “I read that cats have a pouch of fat, I thought it was because they are lazy. But some people call it a love’s pouch because if you take care of your cat and it’s healthy and happy, then the bigger will be the pouch filled with love.”

Regulus meows and tries to grimace at how stupid that sounds just as Sirius raises him with his hands to be face to face. His brother frowns at him playfully.

“But you, Reggie, you are full of mean thoughts.You almost blinded one of my eyes with a chestnut right here,” he coos. “So your name will be Meanpouch-”

Regulus manages to swat a big scratch over Sirius’ annoying face.

They only have one day left before their trip back to Hogwarts. He wants to shift, finally believing him when Sirius told him it can be like a stubborn scratch once you do it the first time, but he doesn’t want Alphard to know; not yet at least. For now it will stay a secret for him and Sirius.

His brother and Potter have written to each other almost every day after their second night here and Regulus isn’t sure of what it means but Sirius’ mood is overall better. That’s why he is standing in front of the running fire with the letter that just arrived, ready to throw it in there. This wasn’t from Potter, the owl had been different and the writing is unfamiliar. Regulus has seen enough of the letters to be certain that it’s not Potter.

Maybe he opened it. Only to check the name at the end. It might be Remus Lupin who wrote the letter. He is tempted to read all of it, just to figure out what kind of curse he will throw first at his face.

“Reggie?” He startles, clutching the letter in hand before turning to face Alphard. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

His uncle squints at the letter before observing him. “Is that letter for Sirius?”

Regulus swallows. “Yes.”

“And you opened it?”

“I– I only wanted to check who it was.”

“Is it the boy that caused the Hanahaki?”

Regulus’ eyes widen and let out a weird croak. “What?”

“Sirius told me,” his uncle confirms and walks up to his side. “When you had your nightmares and slept with him. I came to check and Sirius told me what was going on.”

“Really?” He gasps out. “But– he didn’t tell me.”

“Probably didn’t want to worry you. You two are the same like that,” he points out with a fond smile. “I also noticed your regular coughing. Did you think I didn’t care if you two were sick or not?”

Regulus shakes his head. “I just thought that you were giving us space,” he admits, still in shock. “What else did he tell you?”

“The bond that you two have, which means you also have the Hanahaki. That’s a smart way to slow it down but it won’t save Sirius…”

“Do you know of a way?”

Alphard stares at the fire with a small shake of his head. “I have tried to look for one since Sirius told me this– sad mess. So far nothing though.”

“Oh…”

“But you can’t hide Sirius’ letter from this boy,” he says. “Your brother won’t like it.”

“What if he rejects him again? This will– It will kill Sirius,” he argues. “I would rather have him live mad at me than dead!”

Alphard softly pulls him against his side, hugging just the lightest possible to leave Regulus a way out if needed. “Let me check on that then. I know a spell.”

Regulus hesitates and glances at the cursed letter in hand. Sirius will soon be back home from his short drive with Nathan at some shop for his motorbike. He briskly hands it over before storming upstairs.

When Sirius comes back home, Regulus can hear from his room that Alphard casted the same spells as last time to check on the letter but it has already been a bit teared up probably from the owl’s claws. He isn’t sure if his brother buys it but he climbs up without a complaint. Regulus’ door is open and they see each other but Sirius quickly looks down and slips in his room with the letter in hand.

Regulus purses his lips before sighing and turns back to the writing of his own letter. The one option he really didn’t want to see happen but he supposes this time there is no choice. Even if it means dealing with James Potter regularly. If Sirius and the Marauders are back together– then Regulus, or Meanpouch, will be right there too.

[yutasbellybuttonpiercing]

strangers to lovers Renjun collection

I love Renjun. No, I mean it. And though I'm slowly starting to fill this hole of missing Renjun fics on this app, there can never be too many existing Renjun fics. I've also noticed a pattern in my writings for him, so please look forward to this little collection!

*drum rolls*

Yutasbellybuttonpiercing presents: a triology of Renjun fics that have nothing in common but the idol and their very, very rough theme!

Taglist: @she-is-dreaming @nctzennikki09

1. Love Station

pairing: Huang Renjun x reader

AU/genre: smut, humor, fluff, angst, comfort, strangers to roommates to friends to lovers...?, non-idol!AU, idiot(s) in love

estimated word count: 13.978 words

warnings: smoking cigarettes, alcohol consumption, making out under the influence, descriptions of toxic relationships, implied domestic violence, overthinking, mentions of masturbation, reader has nipple piercings, fingering (f receiving), mentions of squirting and free use, lowkey heartbreak, everyone is dramatic, mentioned past mxm oral, Haechan flirts too much

synopsis: Trying to heal wounds that an ex left can be hard on someone, especially when they're still trying to suppress their crush and be a good friend. It's especially hard when you're such a damn tease.

release date: posted!

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2. What's x in the equation of love?

pairing: Huang Renjun x reader

AU/genre: humor, fluff, a tiny bit of angst, college!AU, roommate!YangYang

word count: 7053 words

warnings: cursing ☝🏻, yangyang, bad jokes, i really have no idea what this is, but i find it funny, personally, maths, sex jokes, yangyang is... a bit of an ick, one (1) smooch, fast paced ending because i don't know how to finish stories

synopsis: YangYang decides that you need a tutor, he can't take your whining anymore. Hence, you're set up to meet the most perfect man you've ever seen. Things tend to become more complicated than they have to be.

release date: posted!

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3. Soulmatch™ — App-grade your love life!

pairing: Huang Renjun x reader

AU/genre: smut, humor, fluff, angst, strangers to enemies to lovers...?, non-idol!AU

characters: huang renjun, fIreader, best friend!jaemin, best friend!haechan, friend!chenle, renjun's parents

word count: 24.807 words (oh my god)

general warnings: mentions of cheating, men being dudes and dudes being bros, lack of communication, haechan is a milf hunter, trust issues, insecurities regarding relationships, hook ups, smoking, alcohol, mentions of vomit (nothing graphic or detailed, literally just the word), mentions of erectile dysfunction (???), emotional manipulation..? past na jaemin x reader, implied past huang renjun x wong yukhei / lucas, toxic masculinity, daddy issues, haechan and jaemin talk very vulgarly and do not know boundaries, mentions of virginity, crying, heartbreak, author makes use of their limited knowledge of tarot.

smut warnings: ..hate sex...?, unprotected sex (nuh-uh!), fingering and brief oral (f receiving), face-fucking, switch! renjun, switch!reader (?), pet names, a lot of imagining sex, brief choking, mentions of anal, creampie.

synopsis: Renjun is a hopeless romantic, his goal is to meet his perfect match by the end of the year, maybe even his soulmate. The perfect solution: an experiment for finding love through an app. Renjun doesn't care who it is, as long as they're a perfect match, he thinks. But then you show up...

release date: posted!