#Also can you tell that this scene changed my life :D

[mirabel-on-a-bicycle]

No but even on top of Omar's chef's kiss ✨ acting in this scene (the how-dare-u glare, the pause, the blatant lie, ughh the knowing SMILEE), its just so so well executed.

Right when Wille lets the audience know that he'd let Simon go, with genuine conviction, and complete acceptance in his heart, this scene comes along and sets the gears into motion.

It's a straight up prophesy, like fate personified, walking off into the dark fog of defeat and turning back, ever so slightly, with a smirk, right before disappearing. Like an "Or so you thought" right at the end of a chapter.

When Marcus threatened to cross the boundry of the mental space and memory where Simon kept Wille, something clicked within him. I like to think that in that pause, Simon learnt the truth about himself: that Wille was still there, in his heart. He had never really let him go. And that Marcus was nowhere near what Wille was to him.

"They don't have names" is such a fucking power move. It's the shutting of doors on Marcus' face, the proof of his loyalty to Wille. Unbeknownst to Marcus or Wille, and only to himself, this is the first time Simon stands his ground and speaks his mind truthfully without Marcus' manipulations. And he gets away with it flawlessly.

And man. Nothing gets to me like small subtle actions that hold so much weight and history. I mean look at his smile. He knows what he said.

[snailsagere]

Please read my dni in my bio before interacting

Since everyone wanted a post like this! Here you go! :3

Computer games to play when regressed!

I'll say the name, price and I'll do a brief description and content warning for each game (if you think I should add a CW for any that I didn't put one for feel free to tell me and I'll add it)! I'll also be making another post like this for phone games! :3

🌸=personal favourites

You can get all of these games off steam!

100 hidden frogs

Description- this is a short game where you look for 100 frogs in an image!

Price- free!

CW- none! :3

🌸Alba a wildlife adventure

Description- in this game you explore and take photos of animal, there is also a main storyline where you restore an animal reserve!

Price- £13.49

CW- wild fire

Baba is you

Description- a puzzle game where you change words around to create new rules to win the levels, the puzzles can be quite tricky!

Price- £11.39

CW- none! :3

🌸Birth

Description- a puzzle game where you collect organs and bones to build a partner for yourself, I recommend this game for if you like spookier games but don't wanna play something too scary!

Price- £8.29

CW- bones and organs (not realistic ones), bugs, brief appearance of m*d!c*l equipment

Calico

Description- a game where you own a cat cafe, explore the world, complete quests and find more animals for your cafe, I recommend only playing this game if you can use a controller because it's difficult to play on keyboard!

Price- £9.29

CW- none! :3

🌸Cat cafe manager

Description- you run a cat cafe and are able to collect new cats, decorate and upgrade the cafe, this game can be a bit tricky since it is a management game!

Price- £16.75

CW- capitalism?

The cat games

Description- a game where you play different cat themed games, I'd recommend this game for if you regress to older ages since it can be a bit tricky!

Price- £1.59

CW- none! :3

Cat goes fishing

Description- you catch fish and upgrade your boat with the money you get from them, it can be a bit tricky to catch the bigger fish!

Price- £4.99

CW- deep water

Catlateral damage 1 and 2

Description- you play as a cat and have to knock things of tables and shelves to earn points, I recommend this game for if you regress to younger ages!

Price- £8.50

CW- bones, one of the levels is a mad scientist lab and has some creepy stuff

Cattails

Description- you play as a cat in a cat colony, there's a main storyline and you can have kittens, make your own colony, fight other cats, forage etc!

Price- £10.99

CW- fighting, hunting of small animals

Cloud gardens

Description- this is a post apocalyptic game where you grow plants and build apocalyptic scenes, it's quite relaxing a good game for any regressors who don't wanna play a stereotypically 'cute' game but still wanna play a relaxing and fairly simple game!

Price- £13.99

CW- post apocalyptic

Cozy grove

Description- a game where you play as a scout and help bears on an island!

Price- £11.39

CW- swearing, dark backstorys? (I haven't finished the game yet so I'm not 100% certain!)

Dorfromantik

Description- in this game you put tiles together to make a landscape, this game is a really relaxing and calm game!

Price- £10.99

CW- none! :3

Flower

Description- you play as the wind collecting flower petals, the game is quite relaxing but can be a lite it tricky!

Price- £5.89

CW- pollution is a key theme in the game

Fossil corner

Description- you make/find fossils! That's it really but it's a relaxing game!

Price- £7.19

CW- none! :3

The game of life 2

Description- it's based off the game of life boardgame! You play through the life of someone! You can play the game with AI or with friends, personally I also like playing it with my stuffies!

Price- £10.49

CW- none! :3

Haunt the house terror town

Description- you play as a little ghost and you have to haunt different locations to make all the people leave!

Price- £4.29

CW- non-graphic death

Koi farm

Description- you make different types of koi fish by breeding them to get different colours and patterns!

Price- £2.09

CW- none! :3

Kynseed

Description- you live in a medieval village and can explore, have a job, family etc, the game can be a lil creepy so I recommend this game more if you regress to older ages!

Price-£19.99

CW- can be a bit creepy

🌸Lil gator game

Description- this games adorable, you play as an alligator who's playing games with their friends! It's a bit tricky to describe the game but you're basically playing a game in a game, it's very cute!

Price- £16.75

CW- none! :3

Littlewood

Description- a game where you rebuild a town! You can get married, explore, decorate houses etc, keep in mind the game is incomplete and has been abandoned!

Price- £11.39

CW- none! :3

Mail time

Description- you play as a mail scout and hace to deliver letters to different characters!

Price- £16.75

CW- none! :3

🌸My fluffy life

Description- there are different little activities to play in the game and they change season to season, you can also buy clothes and furniture for your character! The mini games are quite easy so I recommend this if you regress to younger ages!

Price- £3.99

CW- none! :3

Paradise marsh

Description- a relaxing game where you explore a variety of weather and seasons and overall environments while collecting bugs and talking to the stars!

Price- £12.79

CW- bugs, the game is a bit ominous

Pupperazzi

Description- super cute game where you take pictures of dogs!

Price- £15.49

CW- none! :3

🌸A short hike

Description- really similar vibes to lil gator game (this game came out first) you explore a forest, make friends and climb to reach the top of a mountain!

Price- £5.79

CW- I don't really remember the contents of the phone call but once you reach the top of the mountain you have a phone call and I believe it might be upsetting

🌸Slime rancher 1 and 2

Description- a sandbox game where you collect little slimes and explore the world, you can also disable dangerous slimes to make the game easier!

Price- £14.99/£23.79

CW- none! :3

🌸Stardew valley

Description- you inherit your grandfathers farm and move to a town in stardew valley, you can farm, forage, mine, fish and form relationships with the villagers!

Price- £10.99

CW- substance abuse, mental health, family issues

🌸Sticky business

Description- you own a sticker shop and you make new stickers and ship them to customers!

Price- £8.50

CW- none! :3

Teacup

Description- you help a shy frog find everything she needs to host a tea party for her friends!

Price- £7.19

CW- none! :3

🌸Undertale

Description- you're a child who falls through a mountain where monsters have been trapped, you have to help the child leave the caverns! There are multiple endings depending on if you kill or don't kill any monsters!

Price- £6.99

CW- death of characters (it can be quite sad), most of the more upsetting content is in the route where you kill all the monsters

🌸Wobbledogs

Description- a game where you evolve dogs and look after them

Price- £15.99

CW- they do eventually die but you can turn off their deaths in the settings, the game can be a bit uncomfy and 'strange' so keep that in mind

🌸World of zoo

Description- a game where you look after animals in a zoo!

Price- £11.90

CW- zoo

[miicycle]

The Kung Fu Panda Movies have always had Mr. Ping give the moral of the story, and I think about that a lot. Yes, Po is usually out fighting bad guys when realizing where he should be mentally and skillfully, on his own when he gets the point of teachings. Ping is such an important person in Po's life, just as much as Shifu is needed to help Po learn Kung Fu.

Way more under the cut!!!

Kung Fu Panda 1: "You are almost ready to be entrusted with the secret ingredient of my secret ingredient soup. And then you will fulfill your destiny and take over the restaurant [...]" - Ping

"Secret Ingredient of my secret ingredient soup" being an allegory for Dragon scroll and "destiny" being Po becoming the Dragon warrior and "take over the restaurant" as being Oogway's successor.

Then it turns out the scroll is blank. And Ping feels its a good place to tell Po about the secret ingredient. NOTHING. For something to be special, you just have to BELIEVE it's special.

So Po, not needing any secret scroll or any cool powerup, wins against Tai Lung by believeing in himself.

Ping made him believe in himself. And when Po fulfills his destiny of defeating Tai Lung, he's PROUD!

Kung Fu Panda 2: "Po, your life may not have such a happy beginning, but look at how it turned out! You got me, you got kung fu! And you got noodles!" - Ping (and almsot identical quote said by Soothsayer)

And

Po: "I gotta go. I'm the Dragon Warrior, it's kinda my job to save Kung Fu. And if I don't, what am I?"

Ping: "You're my son! ... Right?"

The message is pretty clearcut, but it's repeated very heavily in the movie. Mr Ping may not be his father, but he is his dad. No matter where he came from, Po is Mr Pings son through and through and he very much loves him.

The scene where Po has been knocked into a river and saved by the Soothsayer, she says the same thing that Ping does. He didn't have a happy beginning, but what matters is who he is, and what he chooses to do now.

And the montage plays everything hes done up until now, but also empathizes the moments between Ping and Po. The last thing he sees in his mind is Ping being a dad, because he is Po's dad! Whatever happened before doesn't have bearing for who Po chooses to be. So when he chooses to be the son of a goose and the Dragon Warrior, nothing he finds out can change that.

Because Dragon Warrior or not, Po is Ping's son! Right?

Kung Fu Panda 3: "He's hurt. He's confused. And he still has to save the World! He needs both his dads." - Ping

"I realized that having you in his life doesn't mean less for me. It means more for Po." - Ping

And

"I'm not trying to turn you into me. I'm trying to turn you into you!" - Shifu

(Love how often Shifu and Ping mirror each other's roles btw they're both so important)

So these are a little less on the nose, but again super important. No matter what Po is going through, he still has to fulfill his destiny, and giving him support while he does so is the best they can do. Ping was initially worried of Li Shan stealing Po away, but realizes that bonding with his biological father doesn't take him away from Ping, just more love and support for Po.

But also, Po learning that he doesn't have to change drastically to reach his true potential. When Ping and Li Shan stand on the small platform and tell Po that they can help, along with all other pandas, Po has the realization that he can't turn them into him, just as Shifu can't turn him into Shifu, or Li Shan can't turn him into a typical panda.

Ping doesn't say a direct quote to mirror Shifu's, but he did initiate talking to Li Shan after Po and Li Shan had the liar reveal. Li never had the experience of having an arguement with his child, but Ping obviously does. So he takes it upon himself to keep being the rock that Po can lean on by talking to Li Shan and helping him realize that they have to be there for Po, no matter what happens.

Because again. Po is hurt. Po is confused. But he still has to save the world. He needs both his dads.

I love Ping so much for being a good dad in this way. He really plays well as a support character and is such a good parent. Yeah, Po may not fit the mold the way Ping expected (taking over the noodle shop etc) but hes still so proud!!!

[sprinklenoodles]

I am but a fool. It is 12am and I should have read Chapter 3 of the Fantasy ay sooner cus AAAA! I wish I could draw!!! This was so coooool! For once, the beginning and the clear fondness Byakuya has for Chihiro. How he picked out an outfit for Chihiro and everything. When they're out in the town and Byakuya interacting with that kid. That was adorable. Also, just the showcase of how Byakuya want's to be a good prince, making sure the fire didn't spread when that building got hit with fire. And how he got all worried at the end for Chihiro which distracted him which shows how much he cares! MY HEART!! I have no clue if this is coheirent by the way. Like, gosh! It was such a nice read and was refreshing which is fitting since it's a change from Byakuya being in the castle. Plus, the plot is plotting and that is awsome. OH! And I liked that one part when Byakuya's ears twitched and he could sense something was wrong. I like how it gives a subtle show to his awareness regarding the people of his kindgom and how he can tell when something's afoot. ALso, ice sword cool. We gotta love the ice sword cus he of course has sword training! Even if this wasn't the fantasy au, he just gives that vibe that he's maybe fenced sometiem in his life. AAAALSO!!!!!! Chihiro is precious and wonderful. I would like to draw the outfit Byakuya gave the little guy cus fashion B-] Not sur wht Byakuya was wearing but u can tell! I wanna draw that scene with him and the kid. Also, I like how the kid's name is Jay. Reminded me of Ninjago cus why not. I could just imagine that little elf kid vibrating in excitement btw. It is very apparent I am tired as hell and I'm rambling so bad ahaha! I feel I was going to say more but I lost steam and I am so tired in fact that I don't even think I'm capable fo fixing any of the types I have here which is quite the load. Quite the heavy laod. Like some dirty dishes that I'm ignoring cus booooo! Byut yeah! Good read. Goood time. Byakuya got kidnapped. Good for him. During that fight, my brain brought up a freaking Pitbull song which I will not elaborate on and will instead leave as a vague thing for suspesne and all WOO READING! ALSO I FINISHED THIS AND IT IS NOT 1AM SO WIN!!! GET DUNKED ON, TIME!

This was definitely one of my fav chapters to write so far, so glad you liked it too!

And yeah, Byakuya is fond of Chihiro!! He just has to be in a good mood and suddenly Chihiro is his little buddy.

He also does just care about his kingdom and the people there. He's obviously still an asshole, he really is, but he can also be nice. And he does try to be nice to kiddos, especially when they're a fan of him like little Jay.

Doesn't mean he's nice all of the time though... Like, it was kinda mentioned but Byakuya isn't the nicest to his servants at times... He's still Byakuya after all.

But he does just want to be a good prince. He'll generally be nicer to strangers cuz they're his people and haven't wronged him, especially kiddos.

And Byakuya is just kinda wearing his usual outfit. So, like, light blue dress shirt and pants, with a black vest and black cape. I, uh, have a wee little habit for forgetting mentioning clothing lol.

Also, the kid's name was a Ninjago reference. I will in fact be using those names whenever I just have a random character. Already have another in Chapter 5 lol.

And, ice sword!!! It probably won't be the last time you see something like that, it's a very handy weapon after all. Byakuya also did have some sword training, but not a lot...

But, yeah. Glad you liked the chapter since I had a blast writing it :D

[peppermintbiotics]

Things we know: Leander

this is mainly a post to summarize (and draw conclusions from) the info we get on leander from the demo (bc he is the one i can make least sense of and i need to change that :’D)

read more for length. tl;dr: we may have to pay more attention to the fogfall and how it relates to leander

let’s get started with a quick overview of the scenes he appears in: - we first get a glimpse at him from the posters advertising him and his services with his silhouette, the name of his group (”bloodhounds”), and the phrase “as above, so below” printed on it

curiously, this phrase is, among other occult connections, associated with the rider-waite depiction of the magician card in tarot that is often interpreted as a conduit between the spiritual and the mundane/the world at large and man himself. given that leander is explicitly referred to as a mage, this feels very much intentional

- we find leander in “the wet wick”, a bar in the entertainment district, filled with people in green cloaks (the bloodhounds) and leander on a table, putting on a magic show for them (not sure if it’s relevant but leander is wearing gilded boots). he conjures up lilies (the magic is described as pale green, so i assume the lilies are the same) and offers them to mc

in this instance, and in general, leander is heavily associated with the color green

an alchemist mc will note that leander doesn’t use incantations or spell circles, implying he wields immense power

- leander then takes mc to the bar counter, deduces it’s their first time in eridia and offers them a drink. mc asks him for help to get to the senobium, the bloodhounds don’t react well to it, and leander takes mc outside, warning them against the senobium and asking to see their curse (after warding against it). mc is hesitant but ends up touching him

if you choose to touch him, leander grins and reassures mc that he is fine. if you hesitate, he grabs your hand, his expression goes blank, and he goes so far as to reach for your throat before catching himself (unclear whether this is just mc’s perception or whether his control really slips there)

an alchemist mc will recognize the ward as an enchantment for protection

- leander confirms that mc’s curse is one of a kind and offers them a room at the bar (that the barkeeper apparently keeps for him and his “escapades”). later, while mc is accompanying kuras and mhin to the bar, we see him pour shots for ais and vere. the group shares a drink (ais noting that leander “has tried to kill [him] a dozen times by now”). kuras and mhin head off to discuss their business with leander

- in his epilogue, aside from telling mc his opinion on the other characters, leander offers mc to let them touch him again (red choice lets you touch his face) and stresses that if they need “a taste of normalcy”, he’ll be there

notable: leander is the only character who doesn’t seem to actively dislike anybody (although the “rivalry” with ais doesn’t feel convincing to me)

all in all, the demo tries very hard to give him an aura of normalcy, which, of course, makes him pretty suspicious. the other characters’ reactions to him are also fairly telling, in my opinion

kuras expresses confidence in him, although he finds the company he keeps questionable. when mc calls the bloodhounds “rough around the edges”, he says leander prefers the company of those like him, implying leander is the same, and that his people trust him with their lives

ais talks about his charm and how it has gotten leander far. he also says leander has done a good job (for a human) but that his resolve will be tested in the future

mhin blushes at the mention of leander and calls him an idiot (in typical tsundere fashion) who can’t shut up to save his life. they compliment his work as well (with a tone that is “almost fond”)

vere is the most colorful with his expressions, calling leander a “pathetic, slimy, little man child in big shiny shoes”

what strikes me as somewhat curious is that leander is the only character to not voice a direct personal opinion on the senobium, although he does disapprove of the way they treat vere. additionally, his worst relationship is with vere, who is a prisoner of the senobium and subsequently hates ist, while his best relationships are with people who either seek entry to the senobium (mhin) or openly have business with it (kuras; though how close that connection is remains to be seen, given that he does mess with a senobium cleric lmao) (leander does have a good relationship with ais on the surface but something is straining it, especially since his relationship chart describes his “murder attempts” as being “funny...until they’re not”). at this moment i’m not entirely convinced he has a direct connection to the senobium but i certainly think it’s a possibility.

a much stronger connection, in my opinion, is fogfall. the prologue describes it as “spectral mist [that] bled from the seams where reality wore so thin it split.” ais also offhandedly mentions planes in his dialogue about leander’s resolve (direct quote being “Naturally, there’ll come a time when his resolve is tested. Same could be said for anyone, in this plane or the next.”). while this turn of phrase seems to reference an existence after death, it has to be considered that monsters (such as vere and ais) did emerge from the fog and thus from those seams in reality. whether or not the fabric of reality seperated distinct planes of existence remains to be seen but given the information we have, it’s likely. now, how does that relate to leander? for that we have to consider the phrase on his poster and its common usage. as mentioned previously, “as above so below” is a phrase strongly associated with bridging the gap between either the world and man, or, which is quite interesting in this case, the gap between different planes of existence (also known as the theory of correspondence in theology). and that second association fits very well into the worldbuilding established by the game. my guess? he’s either some sort of “barrier maiden” or has some sort of connection to either the fogfall itself or the plane that lies beyond it.

where does that leave us? while you could theorize that leander is a monster as well since they came from the fog, i don’t think that’s very likely. leander is the only character to not have a monstrous shadow on his character card; his is the only one to simply have a human form. the other possibilities are, then, that it’s either his personality that is the monstrous part of him or it’s his magic - it’s green, just as his eyes (which is drawn attention to multiple times), and his character’s shadow’s defining feature is his glowing eyes. i suspect it will be the latter but i’m open to be suprised :’D

in conclusion,

[rad-batson]

THIS IS FOR FANS OF CASSANDRA CAIN! PLEASE READ! I WANT YOUR THOUGHTS

(skip to the bottom if you just want silly headcanons about her :D)

Hello! So first, I want to thank everyone who read the Wayne pilot I made :) I appreciate your feedback, and I love you all.

As I'm preparing to post it on AO3, I decided to make a few (admittedly small) changes to the script, primarily around Cassandra Cain, because I haven't quite fleshed her out yet.

I don't have much experience with writing Cass, so I decided to do a bit of research on her yesterday, and wouldn't you know? I fell in love. 10/10. She didn't play a huge part in the pilot, but she will have a bigger one in the second episode, and there are a few things I think can or should be added so she doesn't feel too one-note.

There wasn't anyone who told me this, by the way. (In fact, I actually got some nice comments about her so thank you.) I just had it in the back of my mind while writing, and now that Cass is getting more screen time, I'm finding that my lack of knowledge might lead to mischaracterization.

SO TO COMBAT THIS, I MADE A GUIDE FOR MYSELF ON HOW TO WRITE CASS

Is this overkill? Probably Think of it as a silly headcanon list for my version of her. And I'm posting it here because I want your feedback before it's set in stone. (I know Cass isn't written well a lot, so this is my attempt to right these horrid wrongs.)

If you're going to give criticism, please be constructive. Tell me what you like or don't like. I'm all ears. Have fun :)

Writing Cass

(Btw I still gotta read Cass’s first Batgirl run by Kelley Puckett)

Has some sass, has a lot actually

Used to be awkward in social settings. she’s better at it when she’s with people so she can match their energy but she still prefers to just dip

Speaks in short-ish sentences, trying her best tho

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT, I JUST WANT TO KNOW TO WHAT DEGREE?? OR IS IT REALLY FINE

Mostly just relies on body language though

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT TOO, ESPECIALLY WITH THE ASL SCENE (BUT IT’S NOT REPLACING THE ASL)

also yes i know her using ASL isn't canon, it just works best for the scene, it would have been written the same whether she was in it or not, it is still a cute nod to fanon tho

Steph and Cass are extremely close BUT ALSO HAVE SEPARATE LIVES (I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO STRESS THAT AND I AGREE)

Messy, low-key gross. Bad-ish hygiene but she’s good at looking put-together so only those close know this about her (this is just my headcanon)

Often forgets bigger words so she occasionally uses the wrong one, she ALSO mixes up proverbs but no one corrects her because 1: it’s cute and 2: they don’t want to discourage her from speaking with them more casually (also my headcanon)

Cass: So I pulled the door off its…*makes motion with hand*…metal books. Steph: Do you mean hinge— Cass: Metal books.

Dick: Well that was a surprise. I didn’t know The Penguin would be here. Cass, nodding: Well life gives you grapes Dick: Wut Cass: You make grape juice. Get on the same book, Nightwing

I'M ON THE FENCE ABOUT ADDING THIS ONE BECAUSE IDK LET ME KNOW PLEASE

Is a cinnamon bun AND a little shit, it’s a balancing act

Production: She’s Wayne’s darling Princess Cass: *will break your fingers*

She does appear behind the camera crew to scare them on purpose, she thinks it’s funny, she likes seeing them freak out

She is super competitive, but she's always like "Oh I'm not that competitive" *proceeds to be very competitive*

Because she isn't super confident in her writing or speaking (or just uncomfortable communicating without seeing the other person's body language) she prefers to Facetime or simply reply to texts with selfies of her reaction. It is a thing now. when you need an honest opinion about an outfit, text a photo to Cass. She will either give back a photo of a thumbs up or a photo of a grimace and some not-so-flattering emojis

Her princess persona is her public cover persona in this show, parallel to Bruce’s “Brucie” and Dick’s “born for the cameras” thing

Is surprisingly vocal (and sometimes snippy) about her distaste with things but she mostly gets a pass because her morals align best with Bruce’s

Is most snippy when her family uses methods other than violence when violence is clearly the faster option, god they're such pacifists

Tim: *trying carefully to pick a lock* Cass: Just break through the wall? Tim: We can’t do that. We’re trying not to be noticed. Cass: Wimp

Bruce: Cass, why did you have to dislocate that man’s shoulder? Cass: I put it back. Bruce: That’s not the point. Cass: Fine, I’ll dislocate it again.

Is the best fighter, none of this “oh she’s the best fighter so when people do win against her, it makes them look cooler” thing, shut tf up, she could break their bones (not important to the show ofc but I need to add this because it is important in general)

Horrible at drawing, wretched (again a headcanon but I did see someone else mention it somewhere)

Also bad at writing, refuses to study to improve out of principle (i.e. she told Babs she doesn’t need to and now she refuses to admit Babs was right)

(AND SIDE-HEADCANON IF SHE IS HORRIBLE AT WRITING AND ACTIVELY HATED STUDYING HER ALPHABET THEN WHAT IF LIKE ONE DAY SOMEONE SAYS “hey can you grab me one of these files from last week’s case, it’s under M” SHE’S LIKE “fuck you, how could you do this to me” WHILE SEARCHING FOR M OR MORE SIMPLY *throws something at them*)

That's all I have right now. If you'd like to give me any recommendations, please do. I can't promise I'll add in every single one because this show is still about the whole Batfam, not just her, but I want to do her justice, and that definitely involves more fine-tuning on my part

OKAY THAT'S ALL LOVE YOU BYE

[cheegu3]

Enhypen - the glory (part 5)

summary; after rejecting one of the most popular boys at your new school, you soon realised that you'd done the gravest mistake of your life; these weren't ordinary boys, and now they were set on making your life a living hell - heavily based on the kdrama with the same name

warnings; yandere, bullying, swearing, alcohol, hospital scene, mentions of murder & suicide, affair

genre; yandere

wc; 4.8k

pairing; enha x f.m reader

note; this is more of a chill chapter, we get someone's backstory :D but yeah u won't be as stressed after as the last chapter lmao, also I've changed the narrating a little based on this poll I did, if everyone hates it I will change it lol, but I felt it added a little more flavour ??? to the characters.

masterlist

The sound of the phone hitting the floor echoed in the empty hallway. You backed away, slowly while never taking your eyes off of it; as if it had a camera inside and whoever texted was watching with a grin on their face.

It started ringing, vibrating violently on the floor. You ran up and picked it up, only because you were afraid they were still in the building and could hear it. But when looking down at the screen, you breathed out in relief. It was the number that Soobin had texted with.

‘’ Hello? ‘’

You waited in silence, not wanting to risk revealing anything in case that number wasn’t him either.

‘’ Y/n? ‘’

It was his voice, thankfully.

‘’ Soobin! I think they have my number. I got a text from someone else and I thought it was you. ‘’ you said in a hushed voice, starting to walk towards the entrance while hunched over.

‘’ What? Did you say anything? ‘’

‘’ Not anything that would make them think I was talking to you. But who do I say I thought it was? They will probably ask tomorrow. ‘’

Soobin quietened for a moment.

‘’ Maybe it’s best you don’t come to the academy tomorrow. ‘’

‘’ No, that’s a terrible idea! It will make me look really suspicious. ‘’

‘’ Will you really be able to lie to their faces if you see them though? ‘’

‘’ I have to try at least. But if I don’t succeed, a backup plan? ‘’

You heard him hum on the other side of the line.

‘’ We can use Yeonjun then. ‘’

Your face scrunched up, doubt written all over your face. You were pretty sure he’d reject it, rather rudely, based on him telling you to stay away from his brother the last time the two of you talked.

‘’ Or…Yena. ‘’ you suggested.

‘’ Yena? Who is that? ‘’

‘’ Jungwon’s sister. I’ve met her and she gave the impression of almost hating him. It’s a long shot bu- ‘’

Soobin sassily agreed, ‘’ It definitely is. ‘’

‘’ Backup plans don’t have to be super solid. I’m just gonna bet everything on plan A working out. ‘’

You didn’t have many choices after all. Yena was risky and uncertain, Yeonjun was almost certainly a no and you weren’t sure about Sunoo yet. With no other friends that could be undercover right under the noses of your bullies, all that was left to do was to believe in yourself and be confident; which was definitely a first.

‘’ What do I do if they text again? ‘’

‘’ Pretend like you knew it was them from the beginning. If they question it, say you were…drunk? ‘’ 

Your loud laugh echoed. ‘’ Soobin, your suggestions suck. ‘’

‘’ Sorry…’’ he mumbled back.

‘’ I might have to resort to that though, if it all goes to shit. ‘’

‘’ I still don't think you should go. ‘’

‘’ My parents want me to get good grades. I can’t lose my scholarship at this prestigious school. ‘’

‘’ But you already went today. Just use an excuse so you don’t have to see them. We can hang out instead, if you want? ‘’

Your phone vibrated again in your hand.

‘’ Hold on, I’m getting another call. I’ll let you know though. ‘’

‘’ Okay, bye! ‘’

You pressed answer on the incoming call after having hung up on Soobin. It was an unknown number again, so mentally you prepared yourself before putting the phone to your ear.

‘’ Hello? ‘’

‘’ Did you guess right? ‘’

The voice sounded familiar, but admittedly it was one of the last people you expected.

‘’ Sunghoon? ‘’

‘’ Well done! ‘’

‘’ How do you have my number? ‘’

‘’ Took your phone while Ni-ki was busy with you in the gym. ‘’

Ah, of course. It would’ve been almost impossible to divide your attention between all seven of them to catch them in the act if they went through your stuff. You were thankful for having changed your settings so you actually had a password now, making sure they couldn’t go through your phone and see Soobin there.

‘’ Do the others have it too? ‘’

‘’ Not yet. ‘’

You weren’t sure what to say next, letting the silence settle. You felt like there was something else, but he was taking his time saying it.

‘’ Oh, right! I forgot about that. ‘’ he shouted out abruptly as if talking to himself.

‘’ Forgot about what? ‘’

‘’ You texted me back, almost like you were waiting for someone to text you. ‘’

You panicked and was forced to come up with a lie on the spot in just a few seconds. Luckily, since he couldn’t see you, it was much easier to lie. Your face didn’t heat up and you didn’t have to maintain eye-contact with basically one of the living lie detectors out of the group. 

You were incredibly lucky today. If you were face to face, he’d be able to figure out you were lying very fast.

 ‘’ Yeah…my cousin just got a phone and said she’d text me today. ‘’

He went quiet for a moment, scaring you. Was he trying to assess your voice because he wasn’t sure if he believed you? 

‘’ Are you lying to me, sweetheart? ‘’

You froze but managed to press out an answer through clenched teeth, ‘’ No. ‘’

‘’ Are you sure? I can easily check up on your family, you know that. ‘’

But you had already made up your mind, it would be cruel and very stupid to throw Soobin under the bus now. The only option was doubling-down and lying until your nose turned red.

‘’ Yes. I’m sure. ‘’ you tried to put a little irritation to your tone to make it more believable.

After some time, he ticked his tongue and reluctantly answered,

‘’ Okay. ‘’

You waited with bated breath, for what he’d say next.

‘’ You’re coming tonight, right? ‘’

‘’ Tonight? What’s tonight? ‘’

‘’ Just hanging out. Jungwon’s house. Come over. ‘’

‘’ But- ‘’

Your protest was rudely cut off by the sound of the call ending. Looking down at the phone, a scowl formed on your face and you huffed. Another party? What was wrong with them?

You stood in the corridor, feeling completely dumbfounded. Could you even run away now, no- you glanced down at your arms, remembering what happened last time you did and cursing them for giving you such a permanent reminder.

Taking a deep breath you cautiously made your way to the entrance. Despite him not mentioning anything about the hospital, it was still pretty smart to be on your guard on the way out. Who knew if that girl had texted them as soon as you and Soobin left her room, and they rushed there to ambush you.

But it was fairly quiet when you reached the front desk. If they were hiding, they probably would’ve come out a long time ago, since you were just meters away from the entrance now.

You shrugged off the random burst of paranoia and sprinted to hail a taxi outside. Maybe they would let you go home quite early just like last time. There wasn't much you could bring to the table anyway.

You fished your phone out and texted Soobin, telling him that Sunghoon had called and told you to come to Jungwon's house. It felt a bit unusual. You’d never hung out with them after school up until the day before, when Jay dragged you to the party.

‘’ Miss, we’re here. ‘’

‘’ Thank you. ‘’

You got out and hurried inside as it was still snowing, albeit a lot less than earlier. They were standing in the entrance, all eyes on you when the taxi drove away. The gate stood wide open this time, and the front door was open which gave them a perfect view of the driveway.

‘’ Hey. ‘’ Sunoo smiled at you.

You groaned mentally, whole body screaming for you to turn back around and go home. They didn’t even give you a chance though. As soon as you had put your stuff down, you were dragged by the waist to the living room, where all those people had been last time.

However, this time the couches were empty except for when they started sitting down in them one by one. You shifted uncomfortably, being the only one still standing.

It was obvious that there was no party. No music and no other people, only the alcohol in the red cups was the recurring theme from the day before. Why did they make you come there all alone? You felt anxiety start to brew at the pit of your stomach. 

‘’ I-uh…can I use the bathroom? ‘’

It was the oldest trick in the book, but hopefully they had already had so much to drink before you showed up that they wouldn’t think twice about it.

Jake was the only one who answered, with an uninterested grunt. You went right away, in case they would change their minds. Locking yourself into the bathroom you texted soobin. 

6:00 pm

You: Soobin? They’ve dragged me to Jungwon’s house.

The phone pinged almost immediately, you panicked and turned off the sound, looking around in the silence to see if they might’ve noticed. Nothing moved around outside and no noises or footsteps got closer. 

Next you had to suppress a laugh as you noticed you named him cousin so the others wouldn’t notice anything. Naming him ‘’ baby ‘’ would’ve made all hell break loose if they had just spotted it once.

Cousin: What? Like a party? 

You: Not really, I’m the only one here.

Cousin: Can you get away? 

You sucked on your lip while thinking. There wasn’t really a way out of this unless you wanted to have more wounds on your body. The whole thing felt like a very annoying headache.

Cousin: Y/n? Hello? Do you need help? 

You: No! We have a plan, remember?

Cousin: Sorry :(

You: I’ll text you later

Cousin: I live close by, just run over

You: Will you drive me home? :) 

Cousin: ofc!

‘’ Princess? ‘’

You jumped and almost dropped your phone clumsily in the process of getting up from the toilet seat. The phone slipped into your pocket again. You unlocked the door and stepped out, coming face to face with Heeseung.

He only looked at you briefly, then pushed past you to get to the bathroom. You went back to join the others. Sunoo and Ni-ki occupied the only couch that wasn’t full so you went to them.

Sunoo lit up when seeing you and Ni-ki only said something under his breath before moving so you could sit next to him. Sunoo handed you a cup and you poured alcohol in it, downing it almost immediately in a poor attempt to fix your uneasiness.

‘’ Not drinking? ‘’

‘’ Not a fan. ‘’

Ni-ki sounded moody, resting his elbows on his legs so his whole form was slumped over. His head didn’t raise when he talked, indicating he wanted to be left alone. You looked at Sunoo for answers but he just shrugged, mouthing ‘ bad day ‘.

‘’ Do you still box? ‘’

He finally raised his head to give you a very vehement look. ‘’ Yeah. ‘’ 

Sunoo tried to avoid it when his eyes averted to him, knowing he was looking at him in disbelief over what he had blurted out when he was alone with you. Whistling innocently he looked away and pretended like he was interested in the intense and lively conversation Jake and Jay were having next to him.

Now that Sunoo was turned away from you two, you leaned in a bit closer to Ni-ki, asking what you’d been wondering for a long time.

‘’ Do you even like me? ‘’

He frowned and then looked a bit caught off guard, pulling his hood further up to cover more of his face. ‘’ Yeah? I…think so. ‘’

‘’ But like, as much as the others or…’’ you trailed off.

He glared at you through his bangs which made you close your mouth again, regretting saying anything at all.

‘’ Y/n? ‘’

Sunghoon called you over, patting on the empty seat next to him where presumably Heeseung sat in before. Reluctantly you sat down, glancing at Jake and hoping you wouldn’t catch his attention any time soon, since he was extra bad when intoxicated.

Sunghoon must’ve noticed, his long fingers came up to your jaw, turning your head towards him. You stared into his bleary eyes. He looked very drunk, long gone with his pupils struggling to focus on you. But there was still some tenderness in them.

Sunghoon was slightly anxious. He’d never been alone with you before, and not this close in such an innocent way too; they all acted as a group and stuck together as one, agreeing to not be alone with you for too long.

While leaning his head back on the couch the two of you were sitting on, he turned his head to look at you. It was embarrassing how nervous you made him, as if you were some crush he had in middle school. Just looking at you made his throat close up.

‘’ Do you like this house? ‘’ he randomly blurted out, through slurred speech.

You laughed lightly which made Sunghoon smile widely.

‘’ Yeah, it’s nice. ‘’

He wanted to say more, maybe the way to your heart was to make you laugh. But he didn't get the chance to before Jungwon plopped down on the other side of the couch, next to you.

He didn’t seem at all interested in flirting with you, instead going straight into a rather serious-toned conversation, a dead-pan look on his face.

‘’ Do you know why he invited you here? ‘’

‘’ No. Not really. ‘’ you tilted your head.

‘’ From now on, we want to see you outside of school too. ‘’

You turned to him. ‘’ Why? ‘’

His lips were licked as annoyance flashed across his face, his cold eyes piercing through you. ‘’ Because we said so. ‘’

The alcohol had started to rush to your head already, making your speech a bit slower, vision blurrier but also lips bolder. 

‘’ Why are you always so blunt with me? You’re kind of mean. ‘’ 

He grimaced at your whiny tone and got eye-contact with Sunghoon, who probably knew what his friend was thinking. But he could never really stop Jungwon, since he was the leader after all.

‘’ Because, you’re a brat. ‘’ he calmly said, although his eyes were anything but.

‘’ A brat? ‘’ 

You stood up and almost stumbled into his lap when the dizziness hit you. Tauntingly, you looked down at him while swinging your cup in one hand.

‘’ You’re the ones who fucking bully me, you piece of shit! ‘’

‘’ Y/n. ‘’ Sunghoon warned, seeing Jungwon’s eyes narow.

‘’ Don’t talk to me like that. ‘’

You groaned and almost ripped your hair out in frustration. His calm exterior always made you feel crazy; it made you look hysteric in comparison, and wrong when you had all the reasons to be acting like that.

‘’ Shut the fuck up! ‘’ you yelled.

He snapped. Standing up so fast you flinched and lost balance, he was there to jerk you towards him with a harsh grip around your wrist. You lost your chance to talk as he hurried to drag you upstairs, Sunghoon running behind. 

You get pushed into a bedroom and Sunghoon got the door slammed in his face just as he was a few seconds away from it.

The tension in the room is high. Even though your back was turned to Jungwon, you could almost feel how he seethed of anger, but it was controlled and calculated, he was in control not you.

‘’ Face me. ‘’

You shuddered at his low voice, taking as much time as possible to turn around. The door was locked, who knew what he was going to do to you, away from the eyes of others?

‘’ I’m sorry. ‘’

You finally turned, and immediately your eyes unwillingly welled up with tears. It was the last thing you wanted to happen, but you became that girl in the gym again. Just one look at him and you wanted to cower away, beg for mercy or cry like a helpless child. 

You felt like a different person outside of the school. Because when the day was over, so was the torture. Seeing him look like he wanted to tear you apart in a different environment than the bleak walls of the gym reminded you of your grim future; they would torture you in your safe haven now too. It wouldn’t be over as soon as you passed the gates. They demanded you meet them at their houses and text them. What would happen if you answered just one second too late?

Jungwon stared at you wordlessly. He felt his chest swell with pride due to the sadistic nature of the situation. He liked that you were so afraid of him and that he, more than the others could elicit such a strong reaction from you - only a puppeteer could know his toy that well, know exactly what strings to pull for what; and what is that if not love?

You saw his face unmoved by your sniffling, so as a last resort you pathetically went down on your knees, hands clasping together while incoherent pleas left your mouth.

‘’ Please…please- don’t hurt me. ‘’

He crouched and was careful not to show any emotions. ‘’ Say you’re sorry again. ‘’

You looked up at him and he almost became entranced by the look of your teary eyes, glimmering while looking up at him, only him.

‘’ I’m sorry. ‘’

‘’ Good. ‘’ His lips twitched. ‘’ Stand up. ‘’

They tugged upwards momentarily when you obeyed. You kept your head down, scared to provoke him, even by doing the slightest of things.

‘’ I’m gonna give you my number. When I text, answer. When I call, answer. ‘’ 

He turned his back on you to dig his phone out from a bag thrown on the floor. You got the sudden urge to attack him and then make a run for it, but that wouldn’t lead to anything but short satisfaction.

You recollected yourself in time for him turning back and handing you his phone. When you’re done and he took it back impatiently, he stared at the screen for a while. Then he pressed the number and your phone vibrated.

‘’ Save it. ‘’

You gave a fake smile and nodded. However, seeing as it didn’t seem to satisfy him, you quickly did what he asked on the spot.

‘’ You can go now. ‘’

‘’ Already? I haven’t really talked to the others, and they don’t even have my number except for Sung- ‘’ you pressed your lips shut.

Although it was slowly starting to wear off, the alcohol had made you ramble again and by the look of dissatisfaction on his face, you could tell he wanted you to shut up.

‘’ You don’t need those yet. Am I not doing you a favor? ‘’ he stepped closer, making you automatically back away.

There were only a few meters until you’d back into the wall. You prayed to God that he wouldn’t force you to back into it entirely, so he could creep over you.

‘’ Do you want to be here? ‘’

Your mouth fell open at the horrible accusation. Why would you want to be at the house of one of your bullies, where they all hung around you, taking turns to poke their sticks into your skin to get a reaction?

‘’ No. I’m leaving. ‘’

He didn’t stop you, but you heard the arrogant scoff and saw the smirk when passing by him anyway. Your angry stomping down the stairs caught the attention of the other guys.

‘’ You’re leaving already? ‘’ Jake shouted, hurrying to get up so he could follow you.

Ni-ki and Sunoo watched you curiously, not saying anything.

‘’ You basically just got here. ‘’ 

He tried to pull you into a hug, which you quickly slipped out of, seeing Jungwon standing at the top of the stairs. 

‘’ I said she could go. ‘’

His stern voice made Jake freeze and he moved away from you, giving you a small smile which made you raise your eyebrows awkwardly.

‘’ Bye. ‘’ you mumbled, closing the door behind you.

Well that was…weird? 

*******

‘’ I’m here! ‘’

Soobin ran over to greet you, a big grin plastered on his face.

Footsteps approached the hallway and rounding the corner, the owner of them, Yeonjun popped his head out. His smile dropped when seeing you.

‘’ Y/n. ‘’ he said, rather formally.

‘’ Yeonjun. ‘’

Soobin chuckled. ‘’ No need to be so awkward. You’ve met before. ‘’

You took off your shoes and he strolled off in front of you, making you hurry to follow as you didn’t want to be alone with his grumpy older brother.

‘’ Are you okay? ‘’

‘’ Yeah, it wasn’t too bad. ‘’

He looked relieved and started walking further into the house, waving at Yeonjun to come with and ultimately stopping in the living room.

‘’ Maybe we can watch a movie. ‘’

‘’ I’m fine with anything. ‘’ you smiled.

‘’ Is this the part where I leave? ‘’

‘’ Yeonjun! ‘’ Soobin gasped.

His cute attempt at trying to look stern made you snort.

Meanwhile, his older brother threw his head back and groaned in discontent, plopping down on the couch and crossing his arms in protest.

‘’ For how long? ‘’

‘’ I don’t know yet. Don’t be rude. ‘’

Soobin pressed on the control and the large flat TV screen lit up. You almost ticked your tongue and shook your head. Of course he was a Disney nerd.

He turned around, looking childishly excited, and came over to sit down next to you. The movie quite quickly became forgotten, serving as background noise while you and Soobin passionately fought over the snacks.

‘’ I’ll go make you kids some food. ‘’ Yeonjun said, rolling his eyes at the two of you, and leaving you and Soobin alone in the living room.

Soobin craned his neck to check that his older brother had really left before turning to you. There was something he had wanted to tell you for a long time.

‘’ Does he not like me? ‘’

He smiled knowingly and shook his head. ‘’ It’s not that, I promise. ‘’

‘’ Then…did he have a rough childhood or something? ‘’ you sarcastically joked as you didn’t like when people used that as an excuse to be rude.

‘’ Something like that. ‘’

You caught the way his tone sounded borderline uncomfortable so you cleared your throat awkwardly. ‘’ Sorry, I was just joking.

‘’ His friend got bullied when he was in middle school. I’m sure he just feels a bit- well, vulnerable around you. ‘’ 

You weren’t sure how to respond so you just hummed, it was your turn to feel uncomfortable as Soobin was determined to continue no matter what.

‘’ He really struggled to see him like that. There wasn’t much he could do. When he went to the principal he was shut down, told that it was just ‘ friends playing around ‘. Later he found out their parents were pretty rich though, and at least one of them was a part of the anti-bullying committee. ‘’ Soobin shook his head, sighing while a sour expression overtook his face.

‘’ If he confronted them, they wouldn’t beat him. No, they were different, almost psychos despite being kids. They would bully his friend harder instead, knowing it would push Yeonjun away from him because he wanted to protect his friend. In the end, he was lonely. Everyone he loved watched from a distance, knowing that if they intervened it would get even worse. ‘’

‘’ What happened after they graduated then? Did he never get his justice or revenge? ‘’

Soobin looked away from you, his heart felt heavy.

‘’ No. He never did. ‘’

Silence filled up the living room. Hearing that both made you feel incredibly sorry for Yeonjun and also anxious for your fate. Would it be the same as that boy? Would Soobin have to suffer the same way - by the sidelines watching helplessly just like his brother?

You raised your head, noticing he wasn’t completely finished with his heartbreaking story. He had to hurry because the rummaging in the kitchen had stopped, indicating Yeonjun was on his way back.

‘’ It had a very unhappy ending. Remember when I said I recognized the look in your eyes when you were walking to the rooftop? ‘’

Your heart sunk. ‘’ Yeah…’’ 

Did you even really want to hear the next part? 

‘’ He saw that one night. While walking home from school. So just like I did, he followed his friend to a rooftop. ‘’

‘’ He wasn’t as lucky as you were? ‘’ you filled in when he got quiet again.

He nodded, a somber look on his face.

‘’ But, he didn’t jump though. ‘’

You frowned.

‘’ What? What do you mean? ‘’

‘’ He was pushed. ‘’

This time the silence was deadly, stretching on for several minutes. On the other side of the wall, Yeonjun was leaning against it, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

‘’ Did he get justice?

‘’ No. Of course not. The rich and powerful always get away with it. Yeonjun went to the police station but when they arrived, a bunch of black cars were already there. Took about ten minutes of inspecting before they concluded it was a suicide. ‘’

You felt nauseous. 

‘’ Did he…did he see who pushed him? ‘’

‘’ Yeah, it was them of course. The worst out of them all did it, and while they all freaked out, he barely flinched. As a solution, they were transferred to different schools in Seoul and it was swept under the rug. Even if Yeonjun wanted to get revenge, it would be almost impossible to find them. ‘’

‘’ Fuck, that’s heavy. ‘’ you leaned back on the sofa and stared at the ceiling, taking in everything that had been said.

‘’ I think the worst part is that nobody believed him. ‘’ you turned and saw that he was crying now, his knuckles were rubbed due to the rage he felt on the inside.

Breathlessly you watched him. You hadn’t seen Soobin like this yet.

‘’ What do you mean? ‘’ you softly whispered and tried to reach out for him.

He let you take his hand, and you rubbed his knuckles instead, but in a more calming and loving manner.

‘’ Since those fuckers cleaned it up neatly, his parents fought a lot about it. When he told them, crying out and looking for support, his mom didn’t believe him, but his dad did. So they got divorced. Then, his dad met my mom. ‘’ 

He ruffled his hair and scoffed. ‘’ Turns out his dad didn’t really believe him either after all. One night he got drunk and confessed he had an affair and just wanted a reason for divorce. ‘’

Your other hand wrapped around his shoulder.

‘’ But you believed him. ‘’

Soobin nodded. The endless tears had started to stain his shirt.

‘’ Of course I did. He’s my brother. ‘’ he mumbled, pain coloring his voice.

‘’ Is that…why you were so quick to help me? ‘’

‘’ I thought that if I couldn’t help him then, well…’’

Struggling to find the words, you filled in for him. ‘’ Then you could help others, to prevent it from happening again? ‘’

He grimaced. ‘’ I haven’t been successful so far. People don’t really believe in me. ‘’

You felt his words sting. It hit a little too close to home and you found yourself feeling guilty for doubting him like everyone else had.

‘’ I’m sorry. ‘’

Soobin let out an airy laugh, knowing what you were thinking of.

‘’ Don’t apologize, you let me in the end, didn’t you? ‘’

You smiled shyly. ‘’ Yeah. I guess so. ‘’

He smiled too, warmth spreading all over his face. But it faded quite suddenly as he had to look away. Why was his heart beating so fast?

-

-

I can't tag some of u and idk why tumblr is being a bitch??? does anyone know how I can fix this??)

taglist; @peaceout97, @ayadikreino, @beoms-sugar, @keikeu, @sunghoonnsupremacy, @lilyalone, @roses-and-blue-perennial-salvia, @eunchaesmileyface, @nunugget, @seunns, @nshmrarki, @huening-ly

[silviakundera]

Now that the final SoKP episodes have passed thru my eyes... Things I miss from the novel:

* Sorry but Jiang Xuening should have killed You Fangyin's murderer with her own hands.

* Jiang Xuening becoming obsessed with Xie Wei's cooking, such that she loves to quietly hang out in the kitchen with him whenever there's a break in the scheming. It's their safe space.

* Jiang Xuening going from being in the palace and part of the target/victims of the rebellion in Life 1 to being one of the financial backers of it in Life 2 and accompanying their fighting forces as they move up through the country as Xie Wei outsmarts the emperor & Xue family & Lord Pingnan's forces at the same time. Spending her 2 years away building the capital needed to help spearhead the rescue of the princess and then go to fuck up the emperor who sent his sister a letter to end her life for the benefit of the country.... (chef's kiss)

* The glorious revolution and making the royal family kill each other to save themselves in order to demonstrate the type of people they are

* Jiang Xuening moving into Kunning Palace at the end, as basically the unofficial minister of finance. She ended up in the same place at the end, but hearts & minds are changed and so the result is different

* Jiang Xuening putting the pieces together that the princess died in the 1st life due to her pregnancy & the emperor cutting ties (intrigue!) Team Fuck The System helping her safely give birth to her son, who she loves despite his origin. Our fav lesbian never has to get married to another dude and can just chill with her son, the cabinet of ministers, and her Ning Ning (with psycho husband in tow, but hey nobody's perfect 😂). Using her power to spread schools for women's literacy with Xie Wei terrifying the detractors into submission.

* When they try to use the Jiang family in the capital to threaten XW and he's like, so what? I was gonna pay back those bastards next for Ning'er so you're saving me time lmaaaaaaoooo

* Speaking of which tbh I prefer the lack of a last ditch bandaid on the Jiang family relationship. She's let all of the pain of the past go and isn't personally seeking to take anything away from them in this life... but she is just done with it. Dad is nicer but he's let his wife behave like this and has been mostly hands off. Feels sorta like Story of Minglan to me - letting the favoritism & emotional abuse happen while playing nice guy. In both novel & drama, he spends years not protesting how Jiang Xuening is cast as the troublesome, uncouth, inferior model. But then the drama decides to rehabilitate them. (Though to be fair, even the drama was half-hearted on this 'wash', cause at the end she's mentioning they're not close and in the last scenes the parents are with the sister and Ning'er is with her found family.)

Improvements in the drama:

* I liked that we got to see Jiang Xuening tell multiple people that she loves XW before she gives him her answer. The angst of it being uncertain what conversations she's having with the princess & ZZ, the risk that she's going to abandon XW for being a hot mess... it made for good dramatic tension in the novel. But for the ROMANCE and creating a sense that the feelings he has are truly returned... It makes the ship better.

* The relationship that FL and ML had with the fake Xue Dingfei was richer. He was a standout for me.

* Yan Lin had a happier ending. He really stole my heart in this 2nd life and like Jiang Xuening I felt no need to see him haunted by his vile actions in another universe. It was emotionally satisfying in the drama to see him at peace. You got us all rooting for him.

* Consolidated the Lord Pingnan plot! We really didn't need to get into their factions and introduce more antagonists.

* Consolidated the You Fangyin romantic interests - no need for a marriage of convenience with 1 dude and then Xie Wei's buddy also carrying a torch.

* I felt like the drama gave Zhang Zhe more personality and I did find it delightful when he was "fighting" side by side with Xie Wei.

* Xue Shu (the Xue daughter) felt like a more developed, fully realized antagonist.

* As much as it "sings" in the narrative to have her end up in Kunning Palace with power in the government at the end of the novel (that was brilliant)... maybe emotionally it spoke to me more to see her initial wish from the start of her rebirth fulfilled. Her original reborn goal was to avoid reentering the palace & exit-out of everything to have a quiet life of peace. None of that power ever made her happy.

* Marriage scenes of the otp thank uuuuuuuuu

* No and actually.. After her royal marriage in the 1st life she definitely doesn't need another big celebration. And with her messed up family relationships and his dead parents... Them doing the marriage ceremony all on their own, cause it's another pact between them, makes a lot of sense and I dig it.

* The reverse callback of whispering while she's waiting for a kiss to say "I'm yours" instead of "get out" 👌👌👌

[wexhappyxfew]

How about “you can kiss me, you know” for Kennedy and Bucky if you think it fits them? 💜 I can’t wait to see what you cook up from these!

HI SWEET ANON!!!! i must say, upon receiving this prompt - my entire world shifted on its axis a bit so THANK YOU!!!!! the way this prompt fit them was SO INSANELY WELL. it just seemed to scream KENNEDY X BUCKY to me. and i just. ate it up. truly. this was a JOY and a TREAT to write and just. safe to say - bucky's POV of kennedy farley is one of my favorite things ever and just - THEY DESERVE THE WORLD !!!!!! they deserve all that is good and well!!! <3333 THANK YOU AGAIN ANON - positively *obsessed*! kennedy x bucky girlies this is for YOU! :D

you found me

(a/n): POV: we're in Bucky's POV, opening scene is when everyone is getting letters from home and he hasn't gotten a single one. that one post about the way the show seemed to portray bucky not getting letters left me reeling and just. do with that what you will. and also. yeah. kennedy makes bucky's mind got scatter-brained at every given opportunity lmao. COME AND GET IT !!!!!!!! THESE TWO JUST. INSANE. INSANE INSANE INSANE. (this prompt was everything) cue: you found mehhh, you found mehhhh, lying on the floorrrr...... (don't mind my horrible puns, it's in the title lmfao, i couldn't help it, but it's a kennedy quote so haha!)

The place was changing him.

He knew that much.

He could tell when he woke in the morning and went to bed at night, and his mind was an even deeper and darker place than it had been 12 hours earlier. Seeing the women the way they were, the men, the food situation, the general health of each and every person crammed in that bunk room, seeing the new guys coming in day in and day out, walking in circles convincing himself he wasn't crazy.

It was changing him and he couldn't wrangle in that change in any way that would be manageable.

And seeing those letters.

Goddamn, it made him a little crazy inside - those words, the smells, the feelings, the evident love and care that were in each and every one.

Something deep in his chest hurt a little more than he wanted when mail call would come and peoples' names would be read out and they'd get their letters and be reading it with such gratitude and genuineness in their gazes.

It usually made Bucky snippy, a little more irritated in a way he didn't want. And without fail, Buck could usually get a whiff of that the second that he grew quiet and withdrawn.

Curse his customary loud mouth!

"I think you were right," Buck said as they walked side by side, kicking up dust, grimacing at the slightly bitter chill of early-morning air racing across the open patch of brown dirt and sand their barracks were on, "we should've made a run for it while they were out chasing those Brits." Should've, could've, would've. Bucky bit back his lip and glanced sideways at Buck a bit before looking forward a bit with a shake of the head.

"Maybe, but I can't help thinking you were right. Better to play it safe." Bucky answered quietly back, a worn tone to his voice, sudden agitation lingering in his throat, "The hell am I rushing back home for?" It grew quiet for a moment.

What the hell was he so hellbent on getting out of here for anyway? A life? A home? A girlfriend? He shook his head.

"Other guys get letters. You get letters. Bessie gets letters. Hambone gets letters." Bucky said, "To get a letter, you need someone to get it from." Bucky watched as he kicked a stone forward, hands shoved deep into his pockets, the cool wind back again, blowing up his neck and across his face, "Guess I never set that part up right." Buck looked over at him slightly.

"That's just this place talking. You're tired."

"I am tired."

"You'll have plenty of time for that when you get out." Buck said, his ever-present tender tone, his voice a pleasant escape from the world around them, so hopeful and yearning for a future outside of this.

"You'll set it up right next time." Bucky wished he was a little more like that.

"They're only gonna know this me. Not the old me." Bucky said quietly, with a sigh. "Me before I got here. That's if we even get out."

"We'll get out. And this you will be the one worth knowing." Buck said - this you will be the one worth knowing? Would this Bucky be worth it? Knowing him? His tendencies, his way about looking at life like it were some sort of rock to throw in the water on the side of a river? Like hazardously tip-toeing around something without taking that extra care to see it through? The Bucky who lost all composure when Buck had gone down, when men went down every day, when Kennedy had come in looking more ghost than waist gunner.

"You sure about that?" he asked Bucky, glancing over at the man with a stern look in his gaze, "I wouldn't be convinced."

"Farley seems convinced." Buck said and it took all of two seconds for Bucky to freeze.

Farley?

Listen, Bucky was a fan of Kennedy Farley, always had been, always would be - even if she was a Red Sox fan - but he had lost the point where Farley was connected to the conversation.

"What's Farley gotta do with this?" Bucky asked, turning to look at Buck with a slightly standoffish look in his eye, "I don't think she needs any sort of convincing. She just….thinks what she thinks and does what she needs to do from there, you know? Don't get me wrong, Farley's a good someone to have in your back pocket - hell, we're in each other's by this point but-" Buck stopped and looked to him, placing his hands on his hips, giving Bucky a look, stopping Bucky in his rather rambling attempt to cover his ass - for whatever reason, he wasn't sure.

"You know what I'm talking about, Bucky," Buck said, his voice quiet, "don't tell me you're confused." Bucky looked at him.

"Cut the crap, Buck." Bucky said quietly, watching as Buck smiled the slightest bit.

"You can't keep your eyes off her, Bucky," Buck said quietly, "and here you are saying you got no one." Buck stepped forward and gently patted his shoulder. "She's been there the whole time."

Bucky followed Buck into the bunk room and immediately let his eyes become drawn to her there at the table in the center of the room, her ginger hair falling over her shoulders, her eyes looking more tired than they had been in days, and her nose bright red - still fighting off that damn cold everyone had seemed to catch.

Bucky had paused a bit in the threshold, his body locked up in a way that he was sure even a fire couldn't melt and briefly caught Buck's gaze back at him as he went to lift himself onto a bunk.

It was pretty quiet in the room for one and going directly over to Kennedy, and asking her just to talk real quick would probably make things more obvious than needed.

And a sudden bit of jitters hit him as he stood there, eyes locked on Kennedy, hands shoved in his pockets, heart pounding. With the way the sun seemed to be hitting her from the windowpane that they had stood by those few weeks in the middle of the night, he couldn't help but seem to swallow all his thoughts and words into a pit in the middle of his stomach.

"Sir?" Bucky blinked quickly to find the group at the table looking up at him, the familiarity of Margie's voice hitting his ears as he glanced at her, sat at the table, flipping through a book - a mixture of mild confusion and concern contorting her face.

"Uh," Bucky started, clearing his throat awkwardly and then looking to Kennedy, "can we talk?" His voice came out slightly hoarse, muffled and choked as he asked her and he knew he needed to get it together quick or he'd look more like a clown than anything.

Kennedy gave him a weird look - she was always giving him weird looks, admittedly, if she wasn't, he'd probably be more concerned. But then she nodded, placing down her own book in her hands and got to her feet, a slight smile on her face.

That smile was enough to send him into a new dimension, he was sure of that - and he wasn't sure of a lot of things - the war, the future, even right now. He was sure of that smile though.

And Kennedy.

"What's up?" she asked him, coming around the table and looking up at him.

Words, words, words.

"Not here." Bucky said quickly, not missing the slow smile rising on Buck's face from somewhere in his goddamn peripheral that was enough to make him squirm, "The library?" Kennedy eyed him.

"Sure." she said, vaguely suspicious sounding. She slid past him and it seemed it got his own legs moving as he caught Buck's eye again - who winked enthusiastically. Bucky gave him a look, briefly catching Margie's second of growing suspicion before following after Kennedy to the library at the corner of the building.

Stepping inside, it was empty and if anything - quiet. Bucky could get a wrangle on his thoughts and hopefully not sound like a fool in front of Kennedy.

Kennedy turned to him as he slowly shut the door behind him, her eyes running over him worriedly, stood with her arms folded across her chest, a quiet look on her face that was beyond enough to make his insides warm.

He'd seen Kennedy Farley as a more stripped back person of herself out here and to say it made him yearn for that time back in Thorpe Abbotts everyday, made him go a little crazy. If he hadn't been so….just chasing after anything, so blinded by the alcohol and the women and the music. If he'd just taken a moment to focus and see Kennedy Farley had been there all along. With that laugh, that smile, her comforting words, her willingness to put herself all out there just for the hell of it.

"You okay?" Kennedy asked him, her eyes searching his face, a small smile darting out with a chuckle, "You look a little pale."

"For Chrissake, the sun don't ever come out, Kenny," he said, his nervous chatter slipping out as a small smile graced his presence and it seemed to echo in Kennedy's smile back to him, "no, no, I'm fine, serious, just. Needed to talk. To you."

"Yeah." Kennedy said, watching him, slightly confused, "We….sorta established that back in the bunk room."

"Right." Bucky said, his brain malfunctioning in every improper way that a brain could in a moment like this, "Need to talk. Yes." Kennedy laughed slightly, before simply smiling that gorgeous grin.

"So, what's up?"

Two feet between them felt like the farthest they'd been.

"Not much, just…..with Buck getting that letter and all. From Marge…." Bucky started, his voice steady for once. Confident.

"Marge." Kennedy echoed, "Seems like a sweetheart. The two of them."

"Yeah," Bucky choked out and nodded, placing his hands on his hips, "yeah, just….thought a lot and. Talked to Buck about things and just. This. Where we are. It's…." Kennedy watched him, the previous bit of light-hearted joking in her eyes dwindling away as she watched him.

"What's going on, Bucky?" Kennedy asked, her voice serious in a way that made his words pull themselves together - because that's what Kennedy deserved. None of his stumbling, mumbling, jumbling self.

"I just…." Bucky started and then couldn't help but slowly reach out and placed his hands on her shoulders, slowly moving in small circles near her clavicle and towards her shoulders, squeezing gently as they stared at each other, her face so close to his, he could see green specks in her brown eyes, "Getting downed. In that plane. And having you show up. All those talks we've had. All those nights. I just. You've helped me to realize a lot of things about life that wouldn't have fucking come to my attention if I hadn't talked to you." Kennedy stared at him, slightly taken aback.

"And…..Kennedy, I just," Bucky started, holding her gaze, his eyes on her lips and her bright-red nose and her eyes and back to her lips again - God, if he could just get a taste right here, right now, "even when the war ends, I don't…. I don't want to stop knowing you." A moment of silence stilled around them as Kennedy let out a small breath and slowly nodded at him.

"Me either, Bucky," she said, and then tilted her head, "what's going on, Bucky, seriously. Are you running a fever? Did someone say something to you? You're gonna live through this, ya know?"

"I know!" Bucky exclaimed, his voice louder than wanted as he looked back to her and shook his head and sighed, "I know, it's not….it's not that. It's….it's more. Us. You and me."

"What about you and me?" Kennedy asked him, a small smile growing on her face before gently bumping his shoulder with a first, "We're good, you know that. You and me." Bucky watched her, the corners of his lips growing upwards into a grin.

"I know that." he said with a slow nod and smile that got her grinning wider.

"Then what's got your mind racing?" she asked him, stepping closer to him. Bucky swallowed.

"You." he said, confident as can be - he was always confident looking at her, at them. Her back hit the wall next to the door, their faces intermingling in front of one another as they continued staring into each other's eyes, her slightly lower than him but all just the same.

"Me?" she asked, as if to spur him and his pounding heart on, "Highest honors, Bucky Egan. What did I ever do to deserve lingering in your mind so much, huh?"

"A lot," admonished Bucky, verbalizing his thoughts for once, "everything you do. Even just standing there like this. You make me crazy, you know." Kennedy's eyes flitted to his lips and she sucked in a breath as she met his gaze again.

"Well," Kennedy whispered, slowly reaching up to wrap her fists in balls of his brown A2 near the collar, smiling slightly, "if you must satisfy such a need and displeasure, you can just kiss me, you know."

Everything around Bucky practically dissipated in his peripheral vision, his hands freezing on her shoulders, acutely aware of the death grip she had on the front of his A2, along with that look in her eye.

Watching her, knowing she was watching him back, suddenly made him realize what words had just slipped from her mouth. Kennedy Farley's mouth. He must've pulled quite the 'slap-in-the-face' sort of look because Kennedy smirked, rather confidently, and pulled him slightly closer, her warm breath fanning his face, that look in her eyes making him feel like ice next to fire.

"When were you gonna tell me you wanted to kiss me, huh?" he whispered, voice low, briefly noticing her cheeks bloom to a light crimson, enough to make him chuckle as he found himself now, stepping closer, caging her practically against the wall with his broad-shouldered form.

Months ago, if you told him, he'd be standing there, inches from Kennedy Farley, he would've laughed. He really would've. For it seemed that what it was worth, Kennedy Farley wanted nothing more out of him than simply a friend and a leader. And suddenly, she was standing right there, her eyes on his lips, his hands slowly creeping towards her neck, brushing the skin beneath her jawline and he felt the collar of his neck grow hot.

"When were you gonna tell me?" she whispered back, looking up at him; enough to make his mind feel quickly scattered and Bucky couldn't seem to help it.

Bucky heard those words from her lips and didn't think twice, as he leaned down and engulfed her lips with his own, a groan leaving his mouth as she pulled him towards her even more so, kissing back with just as much urgency as he had to her.

His hands were pressed into her rosy cheeks, her fingers were into his hair and he could feel every inch of her lips on his - kissing back in a way that did make him crazy. He didn't know how fast things were moving when a whimper left her lips and he slid his tongue into her mouth, this slow, sanguine pull inside him making him yearn for all of her right then and there.

It was desperate, maybe a little bit messy, but Bucky had never wanted someone so bad that made him so nervous like a schoolboy.

He had never wanted like this.

He couldn't help it when his hands moved to her waist and a moan left her mouth as his lips trailed to her jawline and then to her neck, nibbling at each and every soft part of her skin that was flush with the feel of her underneath his lips. She was groaning quietly in his ear, enough to make all of his senses suddenly….something he hadn't felt in quite some time, as he pulled back briefly only to capture her lips in his again.

And for a moment, they had to pull back, he had to pull back or he wouldn't be able to control himself, gently pressing his forehead against hers, the two of them panting like some sort of other worldly creature.

Being so close to her, intoxicated by her touch and her being, her felt crazed by what the feel of her lips on his had been. Her hand slowly trailed up to the side of his slightly stubbled face, her fingertips making him shiver and an almost desperate, groaning noise leaving his lips just at her touch. It was like fire - good fire - and how fire was good he would never know because though it could keep you warm, it always brought some form of destruction with it all. But her touch, her flame, the fire, it made him completely undone.

"I feel insane around you," Bucky whispered softly against her lips before deeply pressing a kiss against her evidently swollen lips and pulling back, "you know that?" He couldn't open his eyes, he felt drugged under her touch and simply her, but he heard her let out a quiet laugh, her hands gently tapping along the sides of his face again as she did so.

"Didn't know I had that sort of effect on you, Major Egan." she whispered quietly, her voice slightly hoarse. Bucky let out a quick laugh, before squeezing his hands against her hips again that were so deeply pressed against his own and he sighed, a pathetic sigh.

"Longer than I thought actually, Kenny," he whispered quietly back, "way longer than I thought."

Kennedy giggled - she giggled.

Bucky's brain actually stuttered a bit at the thought of Kennedy giggling - like that - because it seemed the last thing she'd do. But it sounded so adorable and he was the only one that had heard it and for a second, he felt like the luckiest person to be standing there right now.

Slowly, he opened his eyes and found Kennedy and her big, deep brown eyes already staring back at him - catching that brilliant gaze that watched him back - slightly giddy, soft and enthralled all at once. A sight he'd probably remember until his death bed.

And he couldn't help but grin and bring up a hand to cup the side of her face, touching her skin, her hair, her. He felt like had was under a spell and she was the culprit in every right way that she could be one.

"I can honestly say much of the same," Kennedy whispered quietly, her eyes growing squinty for a minute as she smiled and laughed, "you always looked at me different, Bucky, I knew that." Bucky watched her, his smile seemingly plastered on his face and he couldn't fight it down.

"What are you talking about?" he whispered back, leaning closer, their noses brushing, his other hand escaping up under her shirt to her bare skin, caressing her softness, "Different, huh? You noticed?"

"And you're admitting to it?" she whispered back with another chuckle, "Bucky Egan, you are really surprise after surprise, aren't you." She chuckled and he couldn't help but watch her eyes again so close to her.

"Nah," Bucky whispered, "just….." He watched her smile. "I always thought about you, ya know. And I wasn't lying. Back when I heard Silver Bullets took a hit and it was Margie. I thought of you." Bucky grinned wider.

"I'd think of you at night, too. Sometimes I wondered if I could try and find you at night, just to talk to you," Bucky whispered, "but I'd shove it out of my mind. Didn't think you thought like that. About me. About us." Kennedy watched him, a small smile lingering on her lips.

"You could've come and found me," Kennedy whispered back to him, her thumb brushing his cheek, a grin poking out, "would've been better than….I don't know, wrestling with some fucking nightmares, ya know?"

"I'll be honest, Farley, I probably would've kissed you way sooner then if I had done that," Bucky said with a winning grin, "a helluva lot sooner. Coming and finding you." Kennedy watched him, her eyes shining as she let out a laugh.

"You found me." she whispered back and Bucky couldn't seem to help the grin on his face as he came to cup her cheeks.

"I'd see you at the flying club," Bucky whispered, softly pressing his lips to her nose, "dancing and drinking and twirling and singing….." Kennedy watched him from right there across from him, inches from his face. "I've always liked you, Kenny."

"Always?"

"Always." Bucky said, "Back when you were my waist gunner - you always had that confident look in your eye, I knew you could probably shoot better than the rest of the guys, and you sure as hell were one tough nut to crack and I…you're just always in the back of my mind, ya know?"

"John Egan." Kennedy whispered, reaching up to loop her fingers into his hair and trace down the sides of his face, "I don't deserve you."

"You're telling me," Bucky whispered, "I don't deserve an ounce of you, but here we are and I feel like the luckiest man in the world. Fuck." Kennedy watched him and continued this gentle touch along his head, with the most genuine, soft look in her eyes.

"Telling my parents that the man I'm in love with is a Yankees fan-" Bucky's heart pounded. She continued talking, but he missed whatever else she had just said. His thoughts honed in on her first sentence.

That word.

"What?" Bucky said quietly, looking at her fully, his smile gone, his eyes bright, "What'd you say?"

"I'm gonna have to tell my parents that you're a Yankees fan - and my brothers! They're gonna-"

"No, no," Bucky whispered quietly, a smile growing on his cheeks as he softly pressed a kiss to her lips before pulling back, "the other thing. The other part of that." Kennedy stared at him and then let out a soft chuckle.

"I'm in love with a Yankees fan."

"Who is me?"

"Who is you."

"And who you love?"

"For quite some time." Kennedy whispered, her eyes glossy, "I don't tell people about much more than what you can see of me, much less what's inside of me. You know more than what my mother might know." Bucky chuckled against her lips and pressed another kiss there, holding her there so deeply and strongly, he didn't want to let go.

"What I'm trying to say without it sounding all over the place," Kennedy whispered as he pulled back, "is that I'm in love with you and that I love you." Bucky watched her, smirking, so widely, so genuinely, so proudly, that if they weren't here, he didn't know what he'd do with words like that. He had a few ideas, but he was so focused on her right now that he couldn't think straight.

"I'm really fucking in love with you, too, Kenny," he whispered, his free hand on her bare skin on her back pressing against her and making a small whimper escape her lips as he sighed pleasantly, "and I really want to kiss you again. For a while." Kennedy stared at him - her face was glowing, he swore to God, and she smiled. His heart pounded.

"Then kiss me, Major," she whispered against his lips, "kiss me hard."

And he did just that.

[whoreofabaddon]

I apologize somewhat insincerely for the pause in my regular posting, but I'm about to talk in depth about some of the power dynamics we see at play in IwtV.

Particularly, something that has been weighing on my mind is this post by @platoapproved in which we see Louis lightly stroking the bruises of Armand's trauma. Despite the fact the OP caught those hints so amazingly, the reblogs turn into an absolute cesspool in which there are many baffling accusations. So I wanted to touch on this from the perspective of someone who has both been in multiple D/s relationships (albeit as a lesbian and not a gay man) and is also a psychotherapist so trained in trauma responses.

The first thing I wanted to say is that we’re never given any reason to believe Louis is anything but a compassionate and skilled dominant partner. There are no moments portrayed between them where he oversteps any of Armand’s boundaries or where he uses their dynamic for manipulative purposes. We’re actually shown the opposite of that in the scenes where their power exchange come into play. He soothes Armand’s trepidation around setting boundaries and doesn’t force him to witness a new vampire being made. The one time we see Louis truly push Armand to accept a command is when he’s preventing him from killing Daniel, and even then, he validates that he’s hurt Armand enough to understand why he wants to. 

Similarly, we’re actually never shown Armand pushing Louis to take part in that dynamic when he doesn’t want to like so many keep claiming. I suspect that it was actually thrilling for Louis to meet a vampire older and more powerful than his maker, only to find that vampire would willingly allow him to have the control and authority between them. After having spent years in an abusive relationship, it must have seemed to be a gesture of great love to be shown such deference after Lestat had treated him so cruelly and disrespectfully. 

If anything it’s likely healing due to the change in the pattern. And that, I think, is also what is happening when we see Louis begin to draw from Armand’s history of trauma and introduce that into their dynamic. I fully believe he is playing with this dangerous subject because it is something Armand has never finished processing; he's such a trusted figure in Armand's life that it is safe for them to do this together. Armand's not been able to complete the loop of thoughts surrounding his abusive childhood, and so his mind is going to replay it over and over and seek out ways to ‘master’ it. That means his brain has to be convinced that he’s ‘solved’ the issue and the risk is abated. So he is going to keep returning to it or desperately avoiding it, and Armand’s patterns lean towards pursuing the subject matter over and over. The fact that it is Louis drawing on the memories means he knows he’s able to have the freedom of changing the ending; he goes ‘to coffin’ with his maitre at the end, he’s not truly given away for someone else’s sexual pleasure, and the fear and humiliation is touched on but ends before it can get worse. This time the offer is declined, this time he can reply snappily ("I wouldn't let you near my neck..."), and this time he doesn’t have the horrible emotional push-pull of ‘how dare you do as I tell you’ which Marius tended to use against him. (I also think Louis is referencing Armand’s blood being addictive to Daniel in the books, but that’s another layer to explore at a later time).

So I’ll say that, unlike some commenters, I don’t think it’s ‘ugly’ that Louis is mirroring aspects of Marius’ behaviors. Instead, I think the vulnerability and trust that it would require for them to successfully do this shows something very beautiful about the way they relate to each other.  

(Mandatory disclaimer that I am not suggesting that everyone ought to drop out of therapy and process their trauma using an untrained partner and kink. There is a high chance that you can trigger your partner. I am simply illustrating the psychology and perceived intentions at play and why this could feel satisfying to the characters).  And tagging @thequeenofsastiel for the promised meta.

[rui-drawsbox]

hmm im curious. whats olba about :0?

Oh anon you have no idea of what you just asked-- let me get my teacher costume

AHEM

OLBA or Our Life: Beginnings & Always it's a visual novel where you can play the perfect life you never got and cry about how much you wanted it after you finish it :DD (available on Steam for pc and Itch.io for both pc/mac and android!)

You play as-- well, you (or not, you choose)! You can choose your name, last name, pronouns, appearance, personality, hobbies, everything except your family, but you wouldn't like to change them for anything after you meet them.

You start the game as an innocent 8 years old kid that meets a random guy that tells you that he just moved across the street, he also tells you about his son: Cove! who has the same age as you. This guy tries to bribe you with 20 dollars, you can accept or refuse (or run! i like that option), either way you end up in a poppy hill behind your house and find the so famous Cove! He tells (cry) you that his parents just divorced and that he miss his mom ( :c ), you can comfort him or not, but you two still will be found by both of your families and have to go home.

That's the prologue! Gameplay aspect: it consists in 3 Steps of your life: 8, 13 and 18 years old! Each Step comes with 5 Moments, where you can spend time with (mainly) cove, if you're playing the base game. Talking about base game! You can complete it in around 5 hours (that's what took me the first time i think), and it comes with a 4th Step that work as an epilogue!

There are 6 paid DLC's (and a free one that is a name pack), 3 are other 15 moments for the first 3 Steps, 1 is a wedding dlc for our lovely Cove <3 (we'll get to him in no time), and the last 2 are extra content for two characters you'll meet in your very first playthough: Derek in Step 2 and Baxter in Step 3 (you should know this one very well if you follow me lmao), each with 5 moments extra for their assigned Step and their own Step 4 where you can follow and give proper closure to their stories!

I'll try to not ramble a lot because it's something you just need to experience yourself to get it but-- i will introduce you to the love interests! (or friendship interests, you don't need to crush on anyone to have a great time)

Cove Holden! Our lovely neighbor that we see almost everyday for like 10 years! You could also call him the second main character after you, since you learn more about him and his family during all the game. He's an introvert and ocean nerd (in the cutest way possible), depending on your choices you can shape his personality/style and become best buddies, the sweetest couple or just remain neighbours that never really got along. (you'll learn to love him, platonic or not, trust me)

Another perk of the game is that no matter what you do there's not "wrong or right" (unless you feel bad for the characters, like me), your actions does have consequences but there's nothing like a "bad ending/good ending", after all it's just your life, it goes on no matter what! Unless you want to reach a specific scene you found online you'll never have to use a guide for anything.

Derek Suarez! A caring guy! mabye a little too much, he's the oldest brother of 3 and that shaped him in a way that he always feels responsible of everything😔. During his storyline you'll help him to learn how to relax and lean on other people :D!

Baxter Ward! A monochromatic gentleman, mischievous as a cat and emotionally repressed like a pressure cooker <3. Struggles a lot with making deep conections and being emotionally vulnerable, you can imagine about what goes his storyline lol.

He's my favorite, if you haven't noticed. He has that infuriating charm that only someone that unironically says "Hallelujah" has. A very dramatic route, he's a very dramatic guy, you should see how he texts in step 3 aghsdas.

Also! all the side characters are super likeable, from your family to the baker of that bakery that is metioned a few times!

ANYWAYS, in conclusion: this is a very relaxing game! If you like visual novels you should definitely give it a try, the amount of replayability this game has is insane. My recommendations for when you play are:

Try the base game first! If you like it you can buy the moments dlcs (theyre only 3$ each!), mabye the wedding dlc after that (if you want to marry cove that is, this one is 2$ btw), Derek's dlc and Baxter's dlc (5$ each) for last. Those are pretty much the release order but i that's also the order i enjoy the most!

(play this game at least 2 times trying different choices/personality, the differences are ughhhh/pos)

When you're playing for the first time you should play the moments left to right. On later playthroughs you should change the order to find new dialogues! theyre small things but omg theyre so fun

Have fun! do whatever you want, i literally said there's no bad or good ending, take advantage of it and be as foward or shy as you want, be a little shit or a literal angel! That is your life we're talking about.

[norwegika]

ITTSSSSS TIMEEEEEE for bachelors yapping time continues! Imma be going over what I think should change about the bachelors after you marry them :3 this will all be going off the assumption that there is now a 20 heart limit and 1-3 additional cutscenes

Spoilers for stardew relationships btw

Alr first my favorite bachelor: Alex. I’m thinking although Alex always stays in shape he does give up on his dreams of being a professional grid ball player, buttttt I think it would be really nice if he starts a workout club for the dudes fr, where they work on personal fitness, getting stronger, and now Harvey could have a place to get fitter while feeling less embarrassed! Maybe when he starts it you get a little quest to gather stuff to make workout equipment and he uses an additional wing of your house to do so. I also think it would be nice if he starts working as a gridball commentator so that he can still enjoy his favorite spot. A cutscene for both of these ideas would be nice

Next is our favorite recoverin alcoholic: SHANE I personally love Shane so much he’s amazing. I think as you progress your relationship with Shane he could help Pam get her addiction under control. Of course though, his main pursuit after he marries you would be the chickens! I’m thinking he would either join Marnie at the ranch and start helping out there or he could be the “coopmaster” at your farm, and he could do the same thing as an autopetter and auto grabber, but all eggs harvested by him would be one quality grade higher, and if you have blue chickens they would produce “Blue Eggs”, which would sell for a lot more and produce “Blue Mayo”, which could be a loved gift for Shane and maybe Jas. His new cutscenes could be a scene where a blue chicken lays the first blue egg and a scene where he talks to Pam about addiction.

Now we got Elliot. The weird thing about Elliot is he actually does do things after you marry him. He ends up going on a tour for his book! This is amazing but I think it could be expanded on. I’m thinking he decides to write another book about life in Pelican Town and after a while it’s a cult hit. He becomes quite famous and gets visited by paparazzi in a cutscene where he talks to you about the burden of fame but how it’s all worth it with you by his side (aww). You could also after that get fan mail delivered to your mailbox? Could be fun and maybe another secret could be added from that. In addition to all that, I think marrying Elliot could give you an exclusive book power? I don’t have any ideas specifically but that would make sense ✨

Harvey: Harvey, after you marry him, would still work at the hospital, but he would no longer charge you for services like reviving you, and you would have a special cutscene where he tells you “you make me worry about you too much when you go into the mines” “I love you too much” or something like that. I also think that he would start talking to the people who fly above the valley and begin to be known as the Stardew Valley Navigator, and maybe you would meet one of the pilots and he would take Harvey for a ride in the plane :3 also I feel like as his relationship with you progressed he would no longer love coffee because he isn’t overworking himself so much :D other ideas include a slight health increase when married to Harvey and maybe a scene where he impresses the A.S.S trio with his knowledge of jazz

Alright next up is Sam! First up, I think Sam needs to start getting bigger with his music. After you reach 16 hearts, he should get an offer from a minor record company who really liked his sound in the “Happy Junimo Show” soundtrack. They offer a deal where he sells them one single and if it works out they could get him signed. You receive three choices for the genre, and he submits it and waits. A week later, he hears back from the company, who really enjoyed it and offer him a contract. This leads to another cutscene at 18 hearts where he performs his first single as the opener for a music festival. After that, you can always hear that first single on Sam’s boombox. Sam brings you up on stage and says “This song is dedicated to my amazing partner, [name]”, and the cutscene ends.

Sebastian: Sebastian is too edgy bro but I’ll make this shit work lemme lock in rq

Sebastian, of course, starts to breed frogs! I think that could be really cool if you could get a cutscene where you now have a frog that roams the farm looking cute, maybe collecting mixed seeds and fiber and delivering it to you while you’re in bed? I’m going to be so fr I can’t think of stuff for him lol he’s a lot harder ngl… Maybe a garage addition to the house? Where he works on his motorcycle once a week?Ngl this is mid he’s too emo lol LMK IF YOU HAVE BETTER IDEAS

[littleoneamanda]

GF: Stanford Pines

Well, probably one of the fastest drawings I have been drawing xD

The original art style is pretty easy to work with, but I think I will keep doing it in mine after Fidds. Unless you want to see me draw more in the original style. Let me know! :D

Now to my thoughts on the book of bill and Stanford as a character. (SPOILERS)

The missing Journal Pages in this book are probably the ones that I found the most interesting and disturbing. We learn more about Ford as a person and what kind of friendship he had with Bill.

I just wanna say this, I really don't see how so many people saw them as "lovers" which I (imo) found very problematic and disturbing.

I think it is pretty clear Bill only uses Ford for his own gain. His property. Ford was the perfect human for his plans.

Take everything Bill says in the book with a whole spoon of salt.

"Even his lies are lies"

-Code from TBOB

"The ego of a king. The insecurity of a circus freak. And totally isolated from anyone who might steer him clear of my plans "

-Bill, TBOB

Ford has very low self esteem, isolates himself, bad at social interactions and even had a shotgun pointed at him. He describes himself "six fingerd freak".

So when a god like figure shows up in a dream one day, tells you how great you are, you will change the world, ect, You would buy it. Especially when others around you have made you feel like an outcast through your whole life (except for Stanley and Fidds).

Bill is basically love bombing Ford. Making Ford feel very special and reminding him of the project that will change everything.

Now there is a difference between self esteem and self confidence. (I'm adding the links if you wanna know more :) ) Ford absolutely have a strong self confidence. He believes strongly in his research. He belives he CAN achive and complete his research. This is also something Bill takes advantage of. He knows Ford is desperate. This is where is self confidence turns a little bit more to narcissism (again caused by Bill by manipulation). Bill does everything to make sure Ford continues the work.

As soon Ford realizes the betrayal, Bill shows his true colors.

He takes over Fords body multiple times. Takes his body on top of the roof in the middle of the winter, taped a rattlesnake into his journal, recorded a video of him being in Fords body "Puppet Hour with Bill" and will cut to something more disturbing scene. Left a lot of polaroids of him humiliating and torture his body in different ways.

Scaring Ford with one scene where he pretended to call Stan that he was gonna kill himself. This part of the book was probably the one that made me actually shiver. Think about it, You see video and pictures of yourself doing all of this, knowing that this is not you doing all of these things. And having no memory of it at. Too scared to fall asleep because you have no idea were your body is going to be next. That would make any person as paranoid Ford was at the end.

Fidds and Ford.

There is a lot of things that I wanna talk about when it comes to these two, but I will save most of it to the Fidds drawing.

Fidleford is Fords only true friend during this time. He is very supportive but also honest with Ford.

Ford haven't had any other friends during his early life. Stanley was his only friend, and the one who protected him until that one mistake that separates them. When Fiddleford comes in to the picture, (a person who also seemed to have problems making friends) he's probably the first person who doesn't even notice at first that Ford has six fingers. I really wish here we had some more backstory of their college years to know what their friendship looked like, but it seems they were very close.

"I am overcome with emotion. The sight of my old classmate upon my doorstep this morning filled my heart with such joy and gratitude."

-Stanford, Journal 3

Ford was obviously very happy to not be alone anymore in his home. To have his best friend (who also left his family behind) to work with him on this massive project. Now comes the question, what does Ford see Fidds as? I think Fidds shows some kind of feelings towards Ford escpecially when it comes to giving presents (Not only in TBOB but also in Journal 3). I think Ford does deeply care about Fidds, but his mind at this point is so focused on the project (and Bill making sure he is) that he pushes away a lot of feelings. Probably a lot of feelings that are necessary to have as well.

Something I do notice tho is when Bill isn't present, Ford becomes more like himself. Decorating the portal to make make Fidds happy after the failed family reunion (which I don't think he normally would have done if Bill was present during the holidays).

After Bill torture and threatening Ford in the nightmare, the only man he could think of in that moment who could help him was Fiddleford. When he went through Fidds notes for any hints of where he was now, he finds the 5 failed knitted 6-fingered gloves and the ripped photo of them. I can't imagine what that must have felt...

The closest person he had in his life at that point, who has tried to warn him. Tried to give Ford another option for success in his research instead of the portal. The regret of not listening to his warnings.

When they reunited after Weirdmaggedon, seeing how Fiddleford lived now and what the aftermath of the portal incident did to him, must have been a punch in the gut.

"...but when I saw that he was living at the dump, it became clear how deeply I had hurt this man that I had once held so dear."

-Stanford Journal 3

So...Is Ford a jerk? The question and discussions that I've seen so many times here xD

Honestly, this man is complicated. Especially when it comes to understand his thoughts and feelings. However, Stanford is a type person that I personally have encountered irl. Sometimes too smart for his own good, sometimes not understanding how others may feel about certain things/topics and a person who constantly try to prove to themself and to others. A man lost in his own insecurities and very isolated. He his the main character in his life. Now that doesn't exscuse his negative actions at all. But more like a explanation to what might had led to the certain events.

Alright, this took way longer to write than actually make the drawing xD But did wanna share somethings that has been on my mind. When trying to search for analyses of the characters, it has been difficult to find one that is a middle ground. It's either: Stanford is a jerk and doesn't deserve anything good or Here is why everyone is wrong type of stuff. I'm not here to tell how we should think about certain characters. This is just how I look at all of this. The only problem I have with all of this is the thing between Ford and Bill. Maybe it's just me, but I really don't see any type of romance there. I know a lot of people went off on the "one thing led to another" part. I do not know what to say to that honestly. That page was super hard for my eyes to read for some reason lol. And i know, Yes, I did a video of Fidds being cucked by a triangle. I don't mind some of the jokes around it...I mean i did myself xD

I think the reason Bill is a bit obsessed over Ford is because after so many attempts with making deals with other humans to help Bill build a portal, this one was sooo close to success and ALMOST succeeded. He had all the tools and the right human to make it, but failed. He must feel so bitter.

Anyway, that's it for now! Next is Fiddleford :D

[11queensupreme11]

Queen how does it feel to be a genius?

Girl, I'm here, reading and being so 😈

(Queen, I almost made this anonymous cause... I'm really horny? And I didn't know!?)

Cause you know I'm a Poseidon's bitch but also uncle Hades you're doing a pretty good job with my girl you the reason she forgets about blondes

Like, having sex (that was sex, no matter if you say it wasn't) without penetration cause he knows he'd keep doing it, no matter what the consequences are?

*horny grip*

(Hades, making Percy cum with his finger the moment Poseidon enters... He doesn't stop and Percy is just squirting while telling Poseidon to not see...)

My girl would be having the time of her life with them, good for her

Now, in my mind, Hades makes a party and invites Poseidon, just to have his child distracting him meanwhile he's licking Percy in the other room

Now, Percy sleeping in Poseidon and Hades tits? Girl, leave some for the rest

Also, is the knowledge SHE IS STILL WET WHILE HER FATHER TAKES HER TO HOME

Percy just prays that nothing comes down her cause she doesn't have panty (cue to Hades masturbating to them) and Poseidon being 🤨 cause he knows his brother's niece kink but like, he wouldn't dare... Right?

Now, if I was writing fanfiction about your fic? Poseidon would sit her down on his dick and "teach" her about being pure and not letting lost herself to lust

Poor Percy ends trembling and crying to the end of it

But I'm not (?) So I'm just giggling at your work and encouraging Poseidon to make SOMETHING!

I knew it was going to be good, but no do good, you throw me back to my Wattpad era

Also, Loki panicking cause he lost her and what if she ends up participating in the orgy? That would be karma right there

Loki: fortunately, you didn't do anything that day, right?:D

Percy: haha yes nothing happens... At the party

Loki: why are you so specific?🤨

Now I'm wondering how they are going to be? He's a crazy bitch, and we know he doesn't care about her opinion, so I'm picturing him fighting her and kissing her until she really wants something

But also, right now he's in the friendzone™ (a Chad somewhere had a chill), he's her best friend (kinda)

He could enter to her changing her clothes and just found that she's pissed about him no knocking (like her asking if he saw her piss? Girl, your priorities are kinda a mess, kick him out and then ask) he needs to fight for her to see him something different

(Thor is laughing internally cause it is karma)

The fight scene was so funny, Percy really said: you look like shit, let me treat you like one

Loki's crush on her cause she is just as chaotic as him, her just has the world around her finger and isn't afraid of using it

I heard him fall when she was "I know how to count :D" he was loving her gremlin era

I love all the yandere but Loki is dear to me (never as dear as Poseidon but close) cause he's so funny and just makes Percy to be herself again and loving it

Queen, loving your work as always thanks so much for the update and remember we love Nico :D

YEAH HADES WAS DOING ALL THAT HE COULD TO HOLD HIMSELF BACK CUZ HE KNEW THE SECOND HIS DICK GOES IN HER, HE'S GONNA LOSE IT 🥵

also.... i can see how much you like loki from this ask..... unfortunately, there's something you need to be warned about: loki is not what he seems so be careful 😔😔😔

[lostdrarryfics]

lostdrarryfics monthly roundup! May 2024

Below you will find the requests we could not locate in the month of May. Please let us know if you recognize any!

You can also browse our lengthy lost fic masterlist, where we have compiled every request we have been unable to find over the past few years. We're always hoping someone will recognize a fic so we can let the asker know what it was!

1. D ends up with H before the battle at hogwarts. I remember Narcissa being with them when they basically handed draco over. I think they stay at grimmauld place in the beginning but they get separated (I might be confusing it for another fic). The most important detail is that D and H end up in a cottage owned by narcissa and followed by Voldy’s henchmen but the deatheaters can’t see the cottage so D and H are safe. I might have gotten the timing wrong and it might have been set right after the battle of hogwarts (I’m still not sure on this sorry) There’s also no graphic sex from what i remember. Fic is not Warding Bonds by AdareThompson

2. Harry is a celebrity chef, and Draco tweets at him for dinner, and Harry said he'd save him a table. Draco shows up and they cook together as a sort of date. The one key thing I remember is that Harry had a past relationship with Justin Finch-Fletchley but Justin dumped him.

3. it was about Draco being an unspeakable and what comes to my mind is this specific scene about Draco with one of his teammates joking about his nickname (all of them has a star's name as code name), talking about the pole star, I think Draco was "Polaris" and she said he was "Vega", like the ancient polar star, I can't remember much more. Draco was happy that he isn't recognized as a death eater between his co-workers and they really appreciated him. Harry was an auror? And they had to work together? I'm not really sure

4. Harry is Draco’s secretary and Draco makes him wear a skirt to work and it’s one chapter and smutty. Top Draco.

5. post-war drrary fic where Harry and Draco lived in the Malfoy Manor and they were in an established relationship. Then Draco's behaviour started to change, he became mean, and Harry gave him an ultimatum, promising he won't put a foot in the Manor again if he leaves. Then Harry leaves and I think Draco was about to get married. But then Narcissa comes to Harry and explains that Lucius has put a curse on Draco to break their relationship. I specifically remember that she told Harry that Draco was musing how to apologise to him. Harry then came back to the Manor. I think it was on ao3 but I'm not sure

6. I am looking for a Hogwarts era fic. It's after the war. Harry is fed up with being treated like a hero so he enters into a friends with benefits arrangement with Draco. They are sneaking away to hook up and have a lot of hate sex and bond over their taste in music. I specifically remember them having sex to Kashmir by Led Zeppelin and Deftones. Towards the end they start to realize they have feelings for each other.

7. Hogwarts Eighth year, lupin(alive) is the dada teacher again, drarry are sort of in a relationship or at least there's something going on. The one scene I remember distinctly is they're chosen for a demonstration duel during dada and they take the bow and stance but then draco concedes in front of the whole class, which is kind of a big deal in magical duels-as hermione tells harry, and then lupin wants to talk to draco after class(?)

8. drarry multi-chapter fic i read on ao3 a bit ago. it was set around christmas/holidays, established relationship, harry has mental health problems and is distant so draco thinks he's cheating on him but he reveals that hes been going to a mind healer like secretly. also i think teddy is in it and they go ice skating with him? the fic is about like draco helping harry get his life back together and fixing their relationship.

9. it takes place in hogwarts and there’s a secret lgbtq club in the school. I think there were some side pairings too besides drarry.

10. I read this ages ago, dont remember what site but it was complete and mature content. title was like Griffendor <something>, Slythering <something> (i think) after school, harry is a pro quidditch player and draco is a magazine editor or something? One of them decides to write a book (draco?) and goes to the other for help with source material(?). We find out that they are divorced and have been court ordered to stay away from each other because of destructive fights. There was also some flashbacks where they like fed each other strawberries and one of them (harry?) told the other that the cost of the strawberry was marriage? And there was something about a pair of lockets they had from when they were married that they still wear but are hiding from each other?

11. i think it was a war au, draco was at grimmauld because reasons and he was helping the order with the potions, at one point he helps snape or remus because they were hurt? And he and harry had this thing or something, but he caught harry kissing one of the twins and he thought that harry wasn't interested, but he was just like practicing the kisses or something?

12. Looking for a fic I read some years ago in german, but I am pretty sure it was translated from english. It is about Draco helping Harry and his friends escape from Malfoy Manor in the seventh book and being captured by the Death Eaters. He gets thrown into a cell without any sensory stimulation, but gets rescued after the war. The fic deals with the consequences of that, I am not quite sure if he is at St. Mungos for some time, but he definitely gets close to Harry in his healing process. Sorry if this is too vague or if it turns out that the fic was originally in german.

[danjaley]

I won’t insult you by asking you #4. :D So please: 11, 14, 22 and 23?

Thanks for your consideration! It is what it says on the label, I guess... ;) In fact the tag "McCarric Scenes" was a successor to "Shire Impressions", a similar world-photoshoot series of little scenes.

11. Why have you decided to tell this story? are there any messages or meanings within it?

This varies quite a lot for the different parts of the story. For Season 1 it was because Ian McCarric had won a Bachelor Challenge and I wanted to do something with the custom-world that was the first price. For Season 2 it was because I had crash-landed all my other projects at the time and wanted to go back to something that worked. It was the moment my main blog switched from gameplay to storytelling. Also to tell Fergus' story of course. For Season 3-4 I already had Alasdair, so I just needed to weave my tale around him. But it was Matt who made Season 3 into more than a timeskip.

As for the general message: Finding love is not the happy ending of your life's novel. This applies to all parts from the very beginning.

14. Do you have any regrets about your story so far? if you could go back in time, how would you fix these?

On the whole, I'm rather happy with the story as it is. I already mentioned this, but my only serious regret lately was that I didn't stop to think about Ghost Catherine's outfit. I secretly changed it for Season 4. She can choose in which form she appears after all.

While there's nothing I would cut, I sometimes regret not elaborating scenes more. Typically this applied to Season 1 but still sometimes happens today. I kinda regret not showing more of Jonathan's and Nicolas' early days as a couple, and possibly more of Roseanne's perspective. Ysobel and Fiona are also doing a bit too well, pretending not to be a couple at all. But I don't know, I still think all this would have slowed down the story too much.

22. Choose a favourite character from your story so far

Matt, because I feel close to him, but also Fergus and Mayrose for being too good for this world. But I love every member of the family in their own way.

23. Choose your least favourite character so far

This is difficult. There are the Frasers and Stevensons, who only figure as the uninspired neighbours. I mean to work on this, but they are a bit one-dimensional. On the other hand, the world is full of people who haven't had a single original thought in their lives.

Of the immediate family, I guess André is currently making himself a nuisance.