Femme Fatale Guide: How To Decenter Men In Your Life
Consider the values, goals, and desired lifestyle that feel most authentic to you if social scripts/stigmas didn't apply to you
Take time to become radically honest with your desires as an individual – outside of the perception of men, your family, boss, teachers, peers, etc.
Cultivate a sense of personhood and identity established in your interests, hobbies, skillsets, learning capabilities, creativity, and desire for growth in all aspects of life
Act in your own best interests. Speak up for your needs, and advocate for yourself. Be more "selfish." Don't apologize for what you want and go after it. Act in your own best interests
Become confident in negotiating, assertive communication, and standing on your own two feet. Establish relationships in all aspects that are based on mutual benefit and equitable exchange
Unlearn your self-sacrificing & people-pleasing. Stop shrinking yourself or suppressing your needs to make others feel better or more comfortable
Validate yourself: your needs, desires, goals, dreams, preferences, and opinions. You need to choose yourself every day. Your appeal to others means nothing if you don't like the person you are or are becoming to satisfy the needs or desires of others
Consider the ways you're consciously and subconsciously confining your self-expression and belief system to fit the mold/appease the patriarchy. Actively work to deconstruct this mentality and way of being
Be honest with yourself about how men enrich your life. Not the other way around. Do they fulfill you romantically, sexually, both, or neither? There's no right or wrong answer, except the one that requires you to put on a performance rather than live in alignment with your true self
More resources including book recommendations/creators to follow HERE.
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50 African proverbs.
"A bird that flies off the earth and lands on an anthill is still on the ground."
"If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."
"The lion does not turn around when a small dog barks."
"When elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers."
"The wise create bridges, the foolish build barriers."
"He who learns, teaches."
"Unity is strength, division is weakness."
"Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped."
"Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors."
"A tree is known by its fruits."
"The one who loves an unsightly person is the one who makes him beautiful."
"The strength of a crocodile is in the water."
"The old woman looks after the child to grow its teeth and the young one in turn looks after the old woman when she loses her teeth."
"A wise person will always find a way."
"Where you will sit when you are old shows where you stood in youth."
"Do not be a spectator before life; participate!"
"The rain beats the leopard’s skin, but it does not wash out the spots."
"No matter how full the river, it still wants to grow."
"Wisdom is like a baobab tree; no one individual can embrace it."
"When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby."
"The goat says, 'Where there is blood, there is plenty of food.'"
"By the time the fool has learned the game, the players have dispersed."
"He who is destined for power does not have to fight for it."
"The chameleon changes color to match the earth; the earth doesn’t change colors to match the chameleon."
"The heart of the wise man lies quiet like limpid water."
"If you close your eyes to facts, you will learn through accidents."
"You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do."
"A wise person learns more from his enemies than a fool from his friends."
"You cannot climb to the mountain top without crushing some weeds with your feet."
"A roaring lion kills no game."
"Knowledge without wisdom is like water in the sand."
"Where there is love, there is no darkness."
"The strength of a nation lies in its homes."
"The best way to eat an elephant in your path is to cut him up into little pieces."
"He who refuses to obey cannot command."
"It is the calm and silent water that drowns a man."
"Patience is the mother of a beautiful child."
"A good deed is something one returns."
"When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends."
"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."
"If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."
"When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion."
"No matter how tall a tree grows, the leaves always fall to the ground."
"When the moon is not full, the stars shine more brightly."
"A leopard cannot change its spots."
"A village without elders is like a well without water."
"The sun will shine on those who stand before it shines on those who kneel under them."
"The eye never forgets what the heart has seen."
"A dog with a bone in its mouth cannot bite."
"The axe forgets, but the tree remembers."
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Hello!
My name is Miah and I’m a PhD student at UMass Boston.
I’m working with Dr Tahirah Abdullah (Psychology) and Dr Karen Suyemoto (Psychology and Asian American Studies) conducting a much needed study examining the impacts of racialization and the act of resisting racism on mental health for people of color. I have created an online survey and would greatly appreciate if you would kindly share the flyer and take our survey!
—To participate in this study, (1) you must be 18 or over, (2) understand written English, and (3) identify as a person of color or racial minority. As a “thank you,” participants may choose to be entered into a drawing for a $50 Visa gift card (odds are 1 in 25 participants) OR donate to a non-profit focused on fighting racism.
Link to access the study: https://tinyurl.com/REAR24MS
Password to complete the survey: REAR2024
Very grateful for your consideration on this!
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As a BLACK PERSON from Brazil, I am extremely shocked by the absurd level of ignorance that part of the black population in the United States has about the issue of blackness in other territories of the American continent. As Asad Haider said, these are the Mistaken Identity.
To explain once and for all: "Afro-Latino" is not an ethnicity dissociated from black ethnicity. Both in the USA and in other Latin American countries there are black people who have lived there for generations, precisely because they were brought by slave ships from Africa. Black Latinos ARE BLACK PEOPLE! To deny this historical fact is not only to close oneself off from a world of territorial ignorance, but also to embark on the same identity nationalism that marginalizes the black population in the USA.
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Aslema!
Happy Tunisian Women’s Day!
Safwan M. Masri, a Jordanian professor, described Tunisia as ‘an Arab anomaly’ due to its progressive social and cultural changes, particularly in gender equality reforms.
Today, 13 August 2024, marks the 68th anniversary of implementing The Code of Personal Status, granting a significant improvement in women rights.
Sixty-eight years after, the name of the very first Prime Minister and President of Republic of Tunisia, Habib Bourguiba, is still prominent in discussions about the history of the country.
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Essential Feminist Texts Booklist
The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
A Vindication of The Rights of Women by Mary Wollstonecraft
Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center by Bell Hooks
Feminism is For Everybody: Passionate Politics by Bell Hooks
The Dialectic of Sex: The Case for Feminist Revolution by Shulamith Firestone
Sexual Politics by Kate Millett
Full Frontal Feminism by Jessica Valenti
Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
The Creation of Patriarchy by Gerda Lerner
Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape by Jessica Valenti
Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez
Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot by Mikki Kendall
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
The Female Gaze: Essential Movies Made by Women by Alicia Malone
Girlhood by Melissa Febos
The Story of Art Without Men by Katy Hessel
Is This Normal?: Judgment-Free Straight Talk about Your Body by Dr. Jolene Brighten
Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D
The Menopause Manifesto: Own Your Health with Facts and Feminism by Dr. Jennifer Gunter
The Pain Gap: How Sexism and Racism in Healthcare Kill Women by Anushay Hossain
Unwell Women: Misdiagnosis and Myth in a Man-Made World by Elinor Cleghorn
The Turnaway Study: The Cost of Denying Women Access to Abortion by Diana Greene Foster, Ph.D
Regretting Motherhood: A Study by Orna Donath
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