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lovee-infected · 4 years

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Hello! ♥ Can I request headcanons or oneshot (whichever is easier) about how the twst boys react when they discover that MC is a girl, because they thought MC was a pretty boy, someone like Epel, when an unexpected rain happens during flying class and they can see the silhouette of the breasts or the vibrantly colored bra under the wet T-shirt 👀

At some point they all go : “My expectations for you were low , but holy f ”

Riddle Rosehearts

Class 2 E had to take Riddle who crashed the ground from the 20 meter height to the nurse office afterwards

His pe grades were already horrifying and with those two tips of something he saw under your wet clothes , it isn't really strange to end up in bed

Thankfully he doesn't end up with a broken leg , but that seemed way better than having this broken sanity now : (y/n) is a girl...?

He gets red but not of any anger , instead embarrassment . He has been treating you too casually good lord , he is never the same with girls

Riddle doesn't talk to you for a few days because he now realizes how lame your relationship may seem ; many things he should have done , many things he shouldn't have done

Would things still be the same ? Well it has to be he , thought . After all you didn't ever hide anything or lie about your gender , it was his misunderstanding

Well now , maybe he wants to treat you a bit... softer ?

Trey Clover

He isn't terrified by the gender , he is terrified by the way he saw it : Wet clothes , squishy big things under your shirt with a visible color...

He sweats at even saying it by word he wasn't ; he wasn't expecting that at all

He tries to hide his blush but that doesn't really work ; everyone knows that Trey isn't one to blush easily

He decides that it's better to skip the class now ( His eyes need some fresh air) . Just a few hours away , and he seems to be already used to it

He has to admit that it's somehow creepy to see the guy who you always liked having around is actually a girl , but he decides to pretend that he already knew it

Male or female , you're the same to him . The lovely and adorable (y/n) you always were

But still , this got him thinking...does he need to treat you like a girl sometimes ? Stuff that just girls do , say or like ?

Cater Diamond

He... notices the big deal when he's taking a rainy day selfie with you . He is making sure that you both look good but suddenly his eyes lay at the sight of your chest through his phone...

His eyes grow wider and he doesn't notice when he presses the button : The sound of his phone's flash almost made him drop it

You ask if he's alright but Cater just gives you a nervous laugh and say that the phone just slipped for a second . He neither shows you the pic you just took nor agrees on taking a second one when you ask him to

He leaves in pretext of picking his umbrella up but instead , runs to a corner where you couldn't see him : He brings that selfie from his gallery and zooms on your chest . He wants to make sure of what he just saw

Which one's worse ? The neon pink bra under your T-shirt or the... clearly visible tip of your nipple under it ? Damn you are laying your breasts on his hand in the pic...

He quickly saves it though his private albums . On the second thought , he sends all pictures he had from you to that folder as well

Well , he'll get used to it right? Perhaps he can now flirt more comfortably with you knowing that you're actually a girl . The only important thing for him is too make sure that no one ever finds out about photos he has on that private folder ; the one he keeps specifically for you

Deuce Spade

"E-eh??" Remember what happened with Eliza ? This is the second version of it . Even during his rage days ( Wild yellow hair and random fights with others) he lacked the ability to even say hi to a girl . And here he is now spending all those days together without knowing that you were a girl !??

His whole personality almost cracks for a second . All those dirty stuff other first years had shared about girls flashes before his eyes . He wasn't damn prepared -

He couldn't be any more thankful that you couldn't see the horrifying scenes and sounds through his mind at the moment- He just leaves before you could even see him blush

Ace doesn't stop teasing him though , late at the night inside Heartslabyul's , Ace is walking on his nerves asking him to tell what's wrong . Ace isn't the only curious one ; soon all his classmates too keep asking Deuce to say what is bothering him

Deuce has decided to keep his mouth shut until he comes over this fact on his own , and he's strong on it . There's no way that he'd let anyone recognize his anxiety with women

He knows his friends better than this and doesn't want to be dared to steal your underwear or poke your breasts in another round of truth or dare

Let's just...hope that things will soon get better for him or , perhaps you can be his chance to overcome his lack of skills with women ?

Ace Trappola

"Holy sh-" He then gets fired from the pe class for his impolite usage of words- ( School rules , right ?) Not that he cares though

Comparing to Deuce , he's a lot better and more experienced especially because he has been in a relationship before... which is both good and bad

The last time he got this close to any girls before you was with his ex-girlfriend ; and to be honest even that relationship didn't brought them as close as you two are now . The thought of going through similar things with a new one even though he no longer thinks about his ex ... that kinda hurts

Maybe he would've died to tell Deuce what he found out if old memories didn't haunt him . He isn't an awkward realizing your gender like Deuce is , but he can tell that it's kinda hard for him to deal with it . Mostly because of how close and dear you are to him now...

He finally realizes that he doesn't deserve carrying the shame and anxiety on his own and tells Deuce ; well at least calming Deuce down will make him pay least attention to his own problems

Leona Kingscholar

He almost chokes- He was standing in the corner without a single drop of water on his hair while you got too wet as if you took a shower with your clothes on

He is teasing you likr always again until he realizes a second color under your white clothes ... no . please don't be

He prefers to imagine that you're a guy having the kink of wearing feminine underwear . He isn't ready to accept that you're a girl and he still denies it after seeing the vibrantly visible bra with his own two eyes

God...he teased you , kicked you , laughted you off and literally stepped on you ; that's what he usually likes to treat others so..? But not a lady , never . He is raised better this to end up neglecting a lady's great level and worth

Now considering how he's been teasing you so far , what did you think of him..? Do you consider him an asshole who has no respect for women due to how he treated you ??

He is really stressed out and doesn't know what to do , he just takes off his own jacket and quickly comes to you , wrapping it around your wet body and hair and taking you to a warmer place . He keeps asking if you're alright ? Didn't you catch a cold ? Do you need a doctor ?

Leona doesn't know if your fascinated gaze means a yes or no , and it isn't going to help

He isn't going to explain himself right now , maybe give it some time ?

The only reason he treated you this casually was because he was comfortable with you and it was all...a way of showing admiration ?

Maybe it gets better when he explains himself

Ruggie Bucchi

His mouth drops open when he realizes the bra as you two were drying yourselves after the rain . (y/n) is a she...!?

He doubts , he would doubt it again if he even takes a closer look . Suddenly his body feels warmer and his cheeks get red . No way...

Ruggie barely talked to any girls other than his own family and even skipped conversations when girls were brought up , he isn't mentally prepared for it !

But now he is changing with you at the same room ?? Wait wait wait- He might act like a brat but he isn't a jerk

He leaves because he's sure that you need some privacy ; all though he still refuses to believe that you're a girl...

You never ever mentioned your gender in front of him and he never asked , but did anyone else know it except him ? He just wouldn't dare to ask

Well girl or not , he doesn't stop teasing you in general ; but also learns not to go too far since it's still hard for you to be wrapped in an all boy school...you need more support

Jack Howl

He doesn't mind going blind after seeing those nipples under your wet T-shirt . He first thought that they were a bit too big for a boy but...he soon realized that they weren't even for a boy-

He had to take a small look between your legs because he couldn't resist- he had to make sure . And NO ! He didn't see what he wished to see there

He still can't make sure ?? Those things usually proved someone being a girl but still , there is no way to make sure unless he asks you ; but how can he ? No way , he'll just melt down

He doesn't mention anything in front of you but tries indirectly bringing the issue of your gender up with Ace and Deuce : Didn't (y/n) tell you two about her schedule today?

" Her...?"

Well great , now Ace and Deuce have joined him on the ‘terrified of your gender’ army . The only way to make sure is either asking you or... stealing something that could prove it . Someone has to get inside your room but which one of them now...?

Azul Ashengrotto

He is vibing with the pleasant rain as it made today's pe sessions a bit better for him . He asks you to join him

He just takes his glasses off for a second to dry them and- BANG

The color of your bra was too visible that he could even see it without his glasses on

He immediately puts them on and takes a better look , well great now he can clearly see your breasts closely . How bad he wished that he went blind for a second...

You don't get why Azul seems to be studying your chest so you ask if something's wrong?

Azul is pulled out of his thoughts and embarrassment takes him over because you realized what he was staring at : Pathetic

Azul excuses himself telling you that he has to take his pills before he returns to his Octopus form and disappears

How dumb he could be not to realize it till now... Beside that - Why the hell didn't those two tall sticks ( a.k.a Floyd and Jade) realize it either !?

God God God...he keeps swallowing his eyes at the thought...

How can he get over the fact that he was being with a girl all this time...?

Floyd Leech

Well of course he is shocked , Shrimpy was supposed to be a guy but he actually is a little girl ? Meh , what a disappointment

Well , body is body to him so he isn't really shocked or freaked out to see , well , those things under your shirt

He might not be that fascinated , but still has doubts . While you two are taking a walk back to Ramshackle dorm , he just doesn't stop staring at your chest and doesn't mind you noticing him either

To be honest , he now seems to be liking it . You were just a kiddo he always enjoyed teasing but now that you're a girl...? How different would things be ? And would the way he treated you make you possibly... have those girlish feelings for him ? Sounds fun

While saying goodbye at your door he stops for a second to say something . You don't quite get what he asked but he knows better himself : " Random question but- are those seriously soft to squeeze ?"

Jade Leech

Just as Floyd , he doesn't mind you being a girl . He actually appreciates you even more now. Night Raven College isn't a place for weak people and still , to think that a small human girl like you could last this long here... Farewell , human beings can be really interesting he can tell

He gently offers you his coat and escorts you to a warmer place , telling you to change into something dry before you catch a cold

Well the first day is nothing different or weird , but the upcoming days prove how creepy he can be...

He doesn't mind popping up out of nowhere to tell you to choose underwears with a less noticable color at school and it just makes you melt ; not just because it's embarrassing to be told so but also because it proved that Jade is watching you

He does do some research on surface females to get to know the differences between what he expected you to be and what you really are better ; not that he has a complaint though

Jamil Viper

He exactly knows what he just saw there and - He can't help but to feel ashamed . For once he leaves without taking Kalim with him , he just forgot him a the moment

He now feels... angry . You never ever shared your gender but it's not like he ever expected you to be a girl . He feels lied to ; you didn't ever tell the truth but didn't lie either ; that bugs him even more because he doesn't know if he's mad at you or not

Well he now knows when someone you thought you know ends up being something totally different ; like the way Kalim saw who he really is...well that's really annoying to think of

Jamil ignores you for a few days until you come to ask why he's avoiding you . He insists that it's nothing all though it's obvious that it is-

Alright , a few days until he cools down . He wants to keep the distance till then

Knowing your gender often makes him feel ashamed of how casually he's been treating you . Well a lot of things are different when it's an all boy school , right ?

He doesn't know if he should act cooler with you from now or pretend that he never saw anything , he needs time to make up his mind

Kalim al Asim

He was giving you a towel to dry yourself when he recognized your clothes . He was actually thinking of bringing you some dry ones when he saw what he wished he didn't saw- Aaah why would you wear such a recognizable bra : " (y/n)..??"

He quickly pulls back and apologizes ; not that you know what he is apologizing for

He returns to Jamil and tells him to leave , he just can't face you right now

There at Scarabia , Kalim tells Jamil everything since he really needs to share some feelings . He asks Jamil if he knew about this and he certainly didn't

Kalim now keeps wondering... how hard might it be for you ? A girl sorrounded by all guys out there , do you feel safe ?

He now has decided to look after you more than he already did , he just doesn't want you feeling any sad or lonely because of your current situation

He always hated loneliness and that's why he needed Jamil around , now it's your turn to have Kalim around so you'll never be alone

Vil Schoenheit

Vil is well familiar with all beauty materials - including feminine underwear - so he quickly realizes both the unusual size of your chest and the vibrantly colored bra under your clothes . He wishes he hadn't

Bearing the fact that he was having a girl beside him all this time is already hard enough , but what makes it worse is what a terrible female he thinks you are now

You seriously do need a start over ! You are no girl if you're this ignorant toward your appearance even as it makes you look like a guy

He spends all night thinking of what he now should do with you . He does know how to manage guys but girls ? That won't be called something he had much experience on

He isn't feeling as comfortable as before with you yet , he decides to give you some lessons to at least pull you out of your non feminine self

He doesn't mind telling you that you have to do a lot more for yourself as you are a girl ; and he says it as if he knew it all this time

He isn't going to turn you into a princess , it's safer for you to remain something between male and female as you are stuck between all these untrustworthy guys , but it doesn't hold him back from giving you some chance to see your female self. He brings you wigs and puts on your makeup , telling you that you sometimes need to show up like this

He still needs some time to feel as comfortable as he used to with you , but spending time with you trying to have a start over is actually helping him to like you even more than he used to

Rook Hunt

Well congrats , for so long no one had ever succeeded to shock Rook like you did ! That's an improvement . He always makes sure not miss a single detail about those he has his eyes on ; yet he failed to even recognize your gender correctly until now

A bit of fascination won't hurt , right ? After all having a boy like Epel beside him makes it really confusing to specify male and female sometimes

To be honest , he now finds you pretty fragile and helpless : Bunny between the beasts

If a hunter like him didn't know it so far , then probably no one else knew it either . So that's his little secret now

This place's a considerably dangerous zone for a lady to step on , and Rook isn't planning on exposing you like this . He isn't a monster after all...

But having Rook of all people knowing your secret is already enough of torture , isn't it ?

Epel Felmier

I-I thought we were the same...???

This can't be true , this shouldn't be ! Please don't be , please , please , please

Epel looked up to you bot only as a reliable and strong friend but also as someone who goes through similar appearance problems as Epel himself did

You made him feel better that he wasn't the only one having problems with looking too similar to girls ; seems like he was wrong

Epel wasn't ever comfortable with getting close to girls , along becoming a friend of them . He even kept you closer than his other friends since the too of you could relate a lot he thought ; now what should he do ?

He is too embarrassed to even look into your eyes now , he even skips classes you two share and in summary , does anything to avoid you for a while

That is said that girls and boys can never be just friends and... that's frustrating

Now , could the two of you ever be as close as you used to be again?

Idia Shroud

Which is worse , realizing that he's been spending all his time with a girl over the past few months or seeing her wet breasts during the class ?Man , that looked just like those anime hentais one would find online...

Beside that , having your gender exposed makes him feel a bit unsafe about his relationship with you ; if even a simple thing such as gender could be different from what he was expecting you , then what greater differences would your reality have from the (y/n) you were into his eyes ?

Idia hardly ever gets to fully trust anyone and now he isn't sure if he could trust you anymore . Well yes gender might be no big deal compared to the fearful thoughts he is having at mind ; but it's enough to send him into his safe zone and stay away from you

His face turns red and hot whenever he thinks of that scene even when he's all alone in his bedroom , God he wasn't prepared-

Ortho finally forces him to tell what's bothering him and when he confesses , Ortho gets really excited . He keeps telling Idia that as a friend , he has to stay by your side specially because you may feel lonely being a girl all on your own . He reminds Idia of the fact that this is what friends do

He now feels sorry for abandoning you like a coward , but he has to admit that it's a bit hard for him to return the old friendship you two had . Well maybe just texting you instead of face to face interaction would be better ?

Malleus Draconia

uh..? A girl...? Child of man caught in an unknown world and... That's a female . You keep fascinating him over and over ever since he met you , it's just another surprise he can tell

He kinda loses all his focus during the pe class after he accidentally notices the unusual knobs popping under your T-shirt ; are you wearing something wrapped around your...chest ?

He first thinks that it may just be somewhat of a brand new clothing trend to wear feminine-like stuff ; but remembering how you never clearly stated your gender , he now understands how wrong he was

He thought that he had you under his watch pretty well , but he even failed to realize your gender correctly ; perhaps he should learn to do it better

Malleus isn't about to treat you any differently just because you ended up being a girl , all though he has to agree that it was a bit shocking . But in general , nothing about your relationship really seems to be gender related

You don't know his name and he didn't know your gender until now ; is this how karma works ? Well that'd be a bit unfair , gender was rather worthless compared to the fear his real identity might bring you

The only thing that may change now is him being more protective over you ; not that he underestimates you but rather because there's no way for you to be totally comfortable in a school filled with rebellious guys . He wants to make sure that his currently favorite human being won't get in much trouble because of that...

Lilia Vanrouge

Eh ? Through out his hundred-year life this would be the most shameful thing he got to face . You might think that he found it to be a disgrace to his long lasting life which is filled with honor and pride ; but in that case you may like to get to know the old man better

He doesn't like being thought of as a pervert ; but it doesn't mean that he didn't enjoy himself either. Naked figures or seductive girls aren't something he gets overly excited about , same goes for you . Well accidents like this can happen everyday , right ? But this one had something rather fun along with it :

From the direct yet neutral gaze he gave your chest , you immediately realized what he was looking at and you pulled back . Lilia didn't expect you to notice it so quickly , but the embarrassed face you gave him afterwards , that was priceless

He giggles softly at the thought , a shy and cute little girl . He isn't really a fan of boys that are overly cute or childish , but when it comes to little girls , that's another story

You had already caught his eyes by being the only human being caught in this school on your own . Well , to see how feeble and shy you sometimes could be , that reminded him of Silver

Now now , what should he do ? Playing the role of a small girl's parents or something ? Doesn't sound that bad

Sebek Zigvolt

Gasp

He's about to lose his mind - he feels like he has saw you totally naked or lurked into your privacy , he feels awful

He runs to another corner to cool down from what he saw - Damn- That scene doesn't get away from his eyes for a second

Well then , take deep breathes , it's cool , it's fine - it's gonna be fine

Sebek wouldn't dare talking to you for sometime after that . His cheeks get warmer whenever he sees you around , making him change his direction to avoid you

When you finally get him to talk to you , he breaks off- He starts apologizing . He swears not to ever peek on your body again and that he won't say a word from what he saw

You probably don't know what he is talking about , but you say okay to calm him down

Sebek isn't used to having girls around but now that he does , he should be really careful . He doesn't want you to think of him as a antisocial chick when it comes to women and he tries his best to be a gentleman in front of you . Man...he really does take it seriously

Silver

A... girl?... Silver's first reaction would be nothing different from blushing and turning back ; what else would you expect him to do ?

He's a simple guy , he doesn't overreact but doesn't feel totally comfortable either

He didn't ever even think of the possibility of you being a girl , he just isn't used to having anyone else than boys in NRC around . You did always look too cute for a guy but still , he didn't see this coming...

(y/n) is a girl...A girl , this thought gets looped inside his brain . He can't stop freaking out over it . It feels like he's been building a sand castle on water all this time and now he's watching it sink . His whole expectations of you seems to be ruined

It gets even worse when the figure of you dressed in a long beautiful dress , holding a brilliant crown of your flowers on your long silky hair haunts him on his dreams - Why on earth do you have to be so beautiful (y/n)..!?

Silver refuses to accept , but he's pretty soft when it comes to girls . He's pretty shy but to have a girl he has been liking for sometime close...his inner self is getting teased - in a pleasant way

He doesn't show up in front of you for a while , but he just can't get the thought of you out of his mind . From reality to dreams , seems like you're always in front of him . As if you really walked with him once upon a dream

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january31st · 3 years

Text

I show up to the party just to leave (Venable x reader)

Summary: After a long time of not seeing each other, your brother invites you to his birthday party.

A/N: Title from Amoeba by Clairo. Her new album is like salt on an open wound, but in the softest way possible, and I love it :'). This has been in the drafts for a month and it was supposed to be a quick one to get me out of a slump :/ oops i guess (also i have no idea what this is or how we got here)

The reader doesn’t know about the whole selling their souls to the devil thing

Warnings: Drug addiction, overdose and hospital mentions.

Masterlist

~1800 words

The brightness inside Kineros was somehow even worse than outside in the California heat. Its whiteness and clean, modern look took you by surprise, given that your brother’s room back home used to be a mountain of unwashed dishes and dirty clothes, his PC setup the only thing you could look at without getting a headache.

“This.... is insane Jeff” you said as you took your sunglasses off, squinting very hard.

“I told you! I don’t know what’s so hard to believe about it. The whole multi-million company thing wasn’t convincing enough to make you believe this place is nice?” He said as he led you around to his office.

“Well, I’m just saying that coming from you I expected more of a nerd bunker than a sci-fi spaceship”

“Are your standards really that low Y/N?” he said with his hand on his chest, pretending to be deeply offended.

“Yeah, in the beginning you bragged for months about your Van”

“Oh but you can’t say that a company on the move isn’t cool”

“Sure” you said, shifting your attention to the woman in purple sitting behind the desk.

“Hi, you must be Ms.Venable! I’m Y/N, Jeff’s sister.” You said with your hand stretched out in front of you.

She looked from you to Jeff, and then at your hand, considering whether she should take it or not. Slowly, with the help of her cane, she stood up and shook it.

“And I hear you would be joining us to prepare for tomorrow, although I’ve told Mr. Pfister I have it handled.” She said, shooting your brother a menacing look, but you were too distracted by the feeling of her gloved hand still in yours. Had someone turned off the AC?

“I know Ms. Venable, I just had to show her the place before the party so she would believe it is nice. And by having her help get things ready she would know we didn’t mess things around to make it look better than it is” He said, and when you managed to shift your gaze away from her you noticed how Jeff looked. Someone finally taught him respect?

“If I had met Ms.Venable before, maybe I wouldn’t doubt how nice it is.”

“If you hadn’t left home for so long, maybe you would know more about the company”

“If you didn’t have so much blow up your nose all the time back then, maybe I wouldn’t feel the need to run away!”

“Awww family reunions are so cute” You turned to the circle door on the left side of the room to see your brother’s work partner leaning against it and looking at you two with a pout.

“Oh… hey Mutt”

“How is my favourite Pfister doing? I can’t believe how long it has been since I’ve seen you bro!” He said giving you a hug you did not expect.

“Hey! What the hell? Your favourite Pfister? Really? Stop flirting with my sister, asshole” said Jeff.

“I’m not! But it’s true, your sister is the best. Back then before we even dreamt of Kineros, the three of us would have so much fun!” Mutt answered, his arm still around your shoulders.

“Yeah I guess, before you two started your bullshit in between the lines” you said, scratching at your nose.

“Oh, speaking of flirting, how is that girlfriend of yours doing?” Jeff asked.

“Girlfriend? What… Ah. Yeah, well- she..” You laughed “ I swear I can’t make this shit up. Has it been that long since we spoke really?” The topic was making you even more uncomfortable, and you noticed that Ms. Venable was looking at you with an almost curious look? Was it? She was hard to read.

“Well, would you believe it, she fell in love with your dear coke instead.” Jeff looked at you as if he had just broken your favourite toy.

“Yea she just dumped me a while back and hit the streets. I tried to look for her, but she was just gone. I have no clue if she’s even alive.”

“Shit Y/N I’m sorry” Jeff said.

“Are you? Or are you still sniffing lines like a mad man?”

“Technically not lines no.” He said, smiling at Mutt knowingly.

You took his arm from your shoulders. “So you’re telling me that if I punch your ass right now it wouldn’t be snowing in here?”

When he didn’t answer with anything other than laughter you went on “It’s not funny! None of this is funny Jeff! Not now, and not that time I had to take your ODing ass to the ER! And not on all those times you were in withdrawal!”

He only laughed more, and said “It would be hell if that happened again!”

“Jeff! Have you-”

“I’m terribly sorry to interrupt, but the last of the decorations for tomorrow are just arriving.” said Ms. Venable. And despite her low voice, all three of you went silent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You worry too much”

“What?” You asked through the pen you were chewing at, with your back still turned to her from the top of the chair, as you exchanged the regular lightbulb with a colorful one from the box you were holding.

She didn’t repeat herself for a while, as if she regretted saying anything in the first place. The past hour or so you had barely exchanged more than a couple words, her impassive looks making you assume she just didn’t like you.

“You worry too much about him.” She said, her voice loud and clear this time.

You stepped down from the chair placing the white bulb on the box she was holding with one hand. Thinking about your brother now made something clench on your stomach. To hide how hard it was to find an answer for her, you went to write a check on the lighting part of your to-do list.

“How could I not?” You asked.

“I must admit his lifestyle is… interesting. But it seems to have worked to bring this company to where it is today.” She said.

“I know he’s your boss, but you don’t have to doll-up how things are around here. And don’t give him more credit than he deserves, he is cocky enough about it.” after a pause you added “I know that if it were up to him, he would still be assembling robots amidst his dirty socks. It doesn’t take much to realise who’s behind everything that isn’t necessarily robots here.”

You reached for the box she was holding to go put it away, and noticed she was standing as still as a statue. Grabbing it from her with the ghost of a friendly smile on your face you went on, since she didn’t seem to know how to answer you this time.

“He used to say it helped him think and work better. And maybe it does but as his sister I can’t just ignore it and pretend I’m okay with it. He never takes things that matter seriously.”

“Before we got here I- for some stupid reason- actually thought he stopped it. He isn’t like he was before. Something has changed about him.”

“It has.” She said. “I think his dedication to the job put him in his tracks somewhat. Whatever his tracks are” She added with a smirk.

Giggling at that, you said, holding the checklist for her to see “Now that we´re done, how about we go get a snack and talk about something that doesn’t involve dumb and dumber or their tragic hairstyles?”

Fighting back a smile, she guided you somewhere you could eat, and said “I’m glad you don’t have a bowl cut too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the first hour or so Jeff introduced you to random people at the party, none of them getting much of your attention at all. Fancy and famous people, and though it was hard to believe seeing your brother around them- their nice suits next to his striped shirt, jeans and hoodie- you didn’t feel astonished at all. You felt crushed by everyone around you and took every opportunity to avoid dull conversation.

Some of them were surprised to meet you, to see how his casualty wasn’t a trait you shared, and given that you knew this would be a somewhat big party you did, in fact, dress up to the occasion. You decided to wear a nice blazer over a silk lingerie type shirt, straight legged pants and heels, hair slicked back and makeup dark and bold. Anywhere else you would look out of place, but here you managed to melt into the rest of the well dressed crowd. Thankfully that worked to your advantage so you could be away from the center of attention.

On the quick calls you did have, your brother never failed to gloat about his life and how great things were, and a part of you hoped blindlessly that it would mean he left his bad habits behind. Though now as you stood under the coloured lights it was more than obvious that he wouldn’t change, and all the bad memories from his addiction came back to you at once. Overwhelmed by your thoughts and the ambient itself, you made your way to the outside of the building unaware of the tic-toc of a cane following you.

“Where are you going?” her voice pulled you back to reality.

“I don’t know. Just away from this” you said, hand waving in the air. Then you took a second to look at her, as formally dressed as the day before, lilac suit and all, only her expression had changed. Though you knew she would never admit it, her face was contorted in a plea, almost begging for you to stay.

“I thought he changed. I really did. Like a foolish fucking child.”You blurted out.

“You don’t have to leave like this.” She stated, sounding disinterested despite herself.

“I do. I really do.”

“I never come to these events… I hate these people just as much as you do.” You narrowed your eyes at her, waiting for the rest of it, and when it didn’t come you asked “What made you come this time?”

After a long pause she said “I was surprised to meet you. I would never believe your brother had someone as… prudent and sensible in his life.” Another pause. “I’m trying to say don’t leave m-” She stopped herself.

“Then take me somewhere” You said without thinking, looking straight into those brown eyes as they seemed to soften. And for the first time her face twisted into what was definitely, unmistakably, a smile, and all you could do was smile right back.

“Come along then”

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hawksward · 4 years

Text

F**k Him, He’s a DJ (Hawks/Reader Music Industry AU)

Summary: A year after your separation from your former girl group, your solo career is just getting started. It only needs some extra oomph. Enter world renowned DJ, Hawks. Here to give you more than what you bargained for.

Pairing: DJ! Hawks (Keigo Takami)/ Singer! Reader

Rating: E+

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: sex without a condom, drunk sex, cunnilingus, ragging on DJ’s, dirty talk if you squint

Notes: Hi All! Its been a hot second since I’ve written smut and this is the first time for my favorite bird boi. Music Industry AU’s are a weakness of mine. Please enjoy!!

Special shout out to @shinsotired for beta-ing my trash

“No. Absolutely not. Under no conditions will I work with him.” Water splashed everywhere as you slammed your water bottle onto the table. “I’ll take anyone else you give me.”

Maya, your manager, let out a hefty sigh before adjusting her tight ponytail. She had only taken the position a short year ago after you ditched your former girl group the moment you turned 18. They couldn’t pay you enough to sign another contract describing in detail the ‘cute’ and ‘pure’ image you were expected to maintain. It was time to turn a new, edgier, leaf.

Just not with an insufferable asshole as your first collaboration.

“Hawks has been the only DJ on the top 10 list consistently. Plus you work for the same label. He’s already created the track and we’ve written the lyrics. All you have to do is show up and sing. Maybe do some appearances on his tour.” Maya didn’t take her eyes off her tablet “You’re an established name, but you need to prove yourself again. Now suck it up, he’ll be here any minute.”

The door nearly flew off its hinges with the force Hawks used. You’d never seen him in person before, and he was definitely shorter than you imagined. Not like you could talk. He wore a beige bomber jacket lined in sherpa and a simple pair of jeans. Far simpler than you’d seen him wear on stage.

“Y/N,” Maya put on her biggest, most professional smile, “I’d like to introduce Keigo Takami, or as he more commonly goes by on stage, Hawks. Keigo this is Y/N.”

“Ah good girl gone bad.” His smirk was infuriating. “So this is what I’m working with.”

He circled you, like a bird ready to strike its prey. Taking in every inch of you. Anger continued to rise in the pit of your stomach as he came to a halt. Putting his fingers to his chin in contemplation.

“Something to say?” You questioned, arms folded across your chest.

“Nah.” His fingers raked through his blonde locks “This’ll be fine. I always liked a challenge.” He gave you a wink.

Offended didn’t come close to how you felt about his comment. A challenge, not for you but for him. The bastard probably thinks you don’t have what it takes to succeed in a solo career.

“A challenge?” You rose from your seat to meet him head on, despite being a whole head shorter. “I’ll have you know I’m a fucking professional.”

“She’s got small dog syndrome too!” He nearly folded in half with laughter “Don’t worry, Maya, I’ll play nice with her.”

He knew all the right buttons to push to send you into a rage. Half moons formed on your palms as you exercised every ounce of self control you had. You wanted nothing more than to tell him where exactly he could shove his bullshit.

“Great!” Maya grabbed you by the arm “She will see you in the studio first thing tomorrow morning!” There was no mercy as she pulled you through the door, not giving you the chance for the final word.

The next morning came too fast for your liking. You arrived 15 minutes before your scheduled meeting time, canister of warm tea in hand, wishing it was coffee instead. You were no stranger to the ins and outs of taking care of your voice. It was your livelihood after all.

---------------------------

“Morning Chickadee”

You recoiled at the name, noticing Keigo standing in the doorway. Takeout coffee in hand. He sauntered in, throwing his jacket on the back of his chair before setting his coffee down on a nearby table. He pushed himself in his chair over to his soundboard, letting everything boot up.

“Do you need a minute to warm up or are you already ready for the main event?” He gave you a quick wink before diverting his attention back to his equipment. You couldn’t stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

“Like I said before, I’m a professional. I’m ready to start whenever you are”. You took your place in the soundbooth on the opposite end of the room. Slipping your headphones over your ears before checking to make sure your mic was on.

Take. After take. After take. He had a problem with everything.

“You’re too pitchy in the chorus”

“What the fuck is this breathy shit? Stop making it weird.”

“Are you even capable of being sexy?”

The last one bothered you the most.

“Stop being picky because you don’t fucking like me!” You ripped the headphones off before storming out of the booth “There was nothing wrong with that take!”

Keigo rolled his eyes, straightening himself out in his chair before removing his headphones. “You think I’m being picky? My fans will never buy whatever fake sexy shit you’re selling.”

“ Your fans?” The fangs were coming out now “Do you even have fans? All you do is stand behind a laptop and wave your arms around like an idiot.” DJs had no performance value in your mind. Sure, they could make a good track but they were worthless live.

“Yeah, my fans.” He didn’t seem phased at all. Even his body language exuded confidence. “This is my track, Sweetheart. You’re just the feature.”

Your muscles tensed as he said it. Maya had you convinced that this would be the last track on your album, something to really set you apart. You should have known this was a publicity stunt to gain you some of his fans. The room went silent. Hawks shook his head.

“Have you ever even seen a live set?” He rested his elbows on his knees, folding his hands to hold his chin “Not some prom shit. But an actual, full blown set at a club? I’m talking about mixing your own tracks to spinning.”

You scoffed “When would I have time? Some of us are trying to debut.”

“Tonight.”

Taking a step back, you narrowed your eyes. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I’m taking you to a set tonight. Consider it part of the creative process.”

He rose from his chair, tossing his jacket over his shoulder before walking out the door. A quick wave and a nod was all Hawks gave before he left the studio. You were dumbfounded.

A loud buzz came from your pocket revealing a text from an unknown number.

I’ll pick you up at 10. Wear something sexy. -Kei

---------------------------

At 9:55pm you stood outside the apartment. After spending hours trying to determine what was considered ‘club sexy’ you settled on a short black dress and the highest pair of heels you owned. Crisp night air filled your senses as you took in the city. It would have been peaceful if it weren’t for some douchebag pulling up to the curb in a sports car, flashing the lights like a strobe.

The window rolled down to reveal Keigo in a slim fit shirt and jeans. He let out a low whistle, his eyes trailing down before returning to your own. “You clean up nicely”

You rolled your eyes, walking to the passenger side and easing yourself into the car. The dress slipped up your thighs as you adjusted in the seat. Keigo made no attempt to hide his eyes drifting to your legs during the ride to Sky Parlor, Tokyo’s premier nightclub.

He was in his element. Bodies parted around him as he led you to the roped off center area of the club. The place was already full and from what Keigo said, the headliner had yet to perform. You nestled yourself into a corner of the booth, careful not to trip over the short table in front. Someone already dropped by to place a bucket full of ice along with a bottle of tequila onto the table.

Keigo popped the bottle open with ease, filling two shot glasses to the brim “What do you say we toast?” he shouted into your ear, barely coming across as a whisper muddled in all the noise “To a successful partnership?”

You grabbed the glass out of his hand, clinking it to his before shooting the liquid. The burn warmed up your insides as you grabbed the bottle to pour another “Better do two to be safe.”

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but the bottle was half empty. There was now enough liquid courage running through your veins to let loose. It didn’t hurt that your girl group reputation wasn’t there to drag you down either. As much as you hated to admit it, the DJ was putting on a good show.

Your hips moved with the beat, hands running down your body before making their way up to the air. The atmosphere was intoxicating, your body moving in time to the bass. You hardly noticed when Keigo snaked his arms around you, allowing his hands to drift to your hips. He pulled you tight to his chest, his body moving in time with your rhythm.

If you were sober you might have put up more of a fight when he began to grind his hips into you, greedy for more contact. Your arms moved up to snake around his neck, bringing his face closer to your own. Keigo’s breath grazed the shell of your ear as you moved in sync, seeming to raise the temperature in the room by at least 10 degrees.

You turned to face him, allowing his knee between your legs as you continued to grind your hips into him. His eyes were lidded, lips barely parted open. Your fingers traced along his jawline, your lips parting to meet his.

Before you had time to process the music began to fade, the DJ picked up his mic to pass it over to the next artist.

“Thanks everybody! Hope you’re having a great time tonight!” The crowd cheered “We’ve got a really special guest here tonight. Rumor has it he’s going to let us preview a new track. Everyone welcome to the stage HAWKS!”

Keigo detangled himself from you at a speed you didn’t think possible, flashing a large smile to the crowd. Bouncers guided his way to the front stage, keeping him safe for all but the roaming hands of strangers. You slid into your seat, pouring yourself another shot of tequila to make up for your disappointment.

When Hawks took the stage he exuded energy. The hum of excited crowd chatter filled the club while he set up. “How’s everyone doing tonight?” His cheeky smile radiated under the harsh lights. The entire crowd erupted into cheers. You even managed to catch a few I love you’s and a Fucking marry me already!

Hawks winked at the crowd, blowing a kiss in the direction of the rogue comments. “I have a special treat, it’s a new track I’ve been working on off my new album.” He let out a laugh before continuing “This one’s dedicated to a special someone who thinks all I do is push play on my laptop”

The blood rushed to your face as the track started. Thankfully he decided not to drop a name or else his fans might have mauled you.

He was good, great even. Almost good enough to make you admit it. His energy on stage was contagious, waving his arms in the air causing the crowd to follow. You could see why he was #2 on the charts. Maybe Maya was onto something.

---------------------------

The night was a blur of stolen glances, tequila shots, and deafening music. Keigo, ever the gentleman, booked both of you an Uber back to his place. Something about ‘strike while the inspiration is hot’.

Keigo’s apartment was the penthouse of one of the tallest buildings in the city. The place was beautiful. Tall ceilings, windows open to the glow of the city night. Everything someone would expect from a successful artist.

“Follow me” Keigo motioned “I have a home studio. We should be able to get some work done in there.” He led you to a smaller room, crammed with every piece of recording equipment imaginable. “Start from line 17.”

Shimmying through a sea of tech, you made your way into the corner where a small mic was set up. No glass to separate you from the rest of the studio. Tequila still running through your veins, you began to wonder if now was the best time to record. Your words were probably slurring already.

The words came out like vomit. Completely unsexy. You caught Keigo’s eye and could already tell he was pissed. At least if he came home drunk to work he didn’t have to worry about opening his mouth.

“What the hell was that?” He asked, eyes narrowed. “Is that what you call sexy?” Keigo removed his headphones and leaned back into his chair. “Let’s try something. Seduce me.”

“I’m sorry, what?” arms folded across your chest.

“You heard me. If I don’t buy it, my fans won’t.” Fuck, the man didn’t shut up about his fans. You tentatively walked over to him, unsure how to fulfill his request. No one asked you to seduce them before. The man sitting before you looked unphased as you slid your hair to the side, exposing your neck. You ran your hands down your chest, moving down your thighs. You were too drunk for this shit.

Keigo laughed, “have you never seduced anyone before?” He rose from his chair, inching closer to you, like a predator fixated on his prey. “No bringing a boy band member home and hoping no one finds out?”

Your back was against the wall as he slammed his hand into the foam soundproofing, keeping you locked in place. “Trying to keep quiet so your roommates don’t hear you breaking the rules?” His breath was hot against your ear as he whispered “Don’t tell me you’re a virgin.”

Blood rushed to your face “Of course not!” you practically shouted “I’ve slept with multiple people.” Which was not any of his business. You weren’t sure why you blurted it out.

A smirk graced Keigo’s features. He was enjoying the rise he was getting out of you. His other hand pushed a strand of hair out of your face, succeeding in making you even more flustered. Your nerve endings were on fire, begging to be touched. Tequila swirling in your mind, encouraging you to give in.

“You’re supposed to be seducing me, not the other way around.” His breath caused goosebumps.

“Please just shut up.” You turned your head to avert your eyes, the blush still painfully apparent on your cheeks. Keigo grabbed your chin, pulling your eyes back to his.

“Only if you make me.”

Never one to back down from a challenge, you went for it. Grabbing a fistfull of his hair, you closed the distance between you. It didn’t take long for him to take the lead, his lips bruising your own. His teeth pulled on your lower lip, causing you to let out a small sigh. Keigo used the chance to grant his tongue entrance, fighting your own for dominance.

Limbs intertwined, your hands clenched the back of his shirt. Keigo’s mouth moved from your lips to the edge of your jaw, trailing lower as he kept your chin in place with his hand. His mouth continued to trail lower as he sucked on the sweet spot by your collar bone. A moan left your mouth, causing Keigo to bite down. Your nails dug into his back, eliciting a low growl from his throat. He grabbed a fistfull of your hair with his opposite hand, pulling to give himself easier access.

Your eyes closed as the room started to spin around you. It was euphoric. It was hard to tell whether it was the booze or the way his mouth moved across your skin, but it felt like heaven. Enough so that when he removed his mouth from your skin, the first feeling was disappointment.

“What?” your voice came out as a harsh whisper “Don’t stop.” You’d beg if you had to, not that you’d tell him that.

“Stop?” Keigo smirked “Baby, I’m just getting started.” In one swift movement he pulled the shirt off his head revealing his sculpted chest and adonis belt. If you were a lesser woman you might have actually drooled at the sight. Being a part of the entertainment industry you were well aware that taking care of your body was important, but it was clear that his was a labor of love.

“LIke what you see?” He smirked, signifying your staring hadn’t gone unnoticed. He was hot, sure, but he was still a cocky bastard. You rolled your eyes before pulling him back into another heated kiss, allowing him to lift your arms up before he pulled the hem of your dress up and over. Leaving you in your bra and the smallest pair of panties you owned.

“I’m nothing if not a gentleman, so ladies first.” Keigo kept eye contact as he dropped slowly to his knees, taking the strings of your panties down with him. Leaving you on display. Your core twitched in anticipation when you felt his hot breath on the inside of your thigh. Planting light kisses as he moved his way upward. He tossed your leg over his shoulder, unbalancing you for just a moment, for better access.

Your eyes rolled back as he lazily traced shapes onto your clit with his tongue. Back pressing further into the wall to arch yourself into him, you grabbed a fistful of his hair. Desperate for something to hold on to. He alternated between fast and slow, short and long before using his fingers to tease at your entrance.

“Damn Baby, are you already this wet for me?” He pulled away if only for a moment, his index finger pushing past your lips into your core.

“Fuck Kei.” You groaned as your head arched back, “Do you get off on hearing yourself talk?” It was your current opinion that there were other things you would rather his mouth do. You felt him smile into your folds, slipping a second finger into your wet pussy. The new sensation filling you up from the inside, making you feel like you could crack at any moment.

Heat continued to build inside you as Keigo’s pace quickened. Curling his fingers into a spot none of your previous lovers had even tried to find all while keeping pace with his tongue. It didn’t take long for you to boil over, moaning out his name. Keigo removed his fingers as he rose to meet you, lips crashing into yours allowing you to taste yourself. His fingers quickly moved, fumbling against the clasp of your bra, clear that the tequila still had a hold on him as well.

Fabric fell to the floor as he grabbed your breast in his hand, playing with your nipple while he took the other breast in his mouth. Tongue flicking and sucking until you reached a stiff peak. Your hands made their way down to his belt, trying to ignore the sensation enough to concentrate on the buckle. Clear that you were struggling, Keigo removed himself from you to unbutton and throw down his pants at an almost inhuman speed.

Even his dick was magnificent. The brief thought passed your mind of how many other people he brought back to his penthouse after a recording session. Drunk and ready to make bad decisions.

His hands grabbed onto your ass, giving it a squeeze before hoisting you into the air and back down onto his hips. You could already feel his rock hard erection teasing at you. Keigo pushed your back into the wall, causing a small gasp of air to leave your lips. He positioned himself so he was at your entrance. His head grazing your lips before thrusting himself inside, your sufficiently soaked pussy allowing him to bury himself in one motion.

Keigo let out a moan, his forehead resting on yours briefly as he let himself acclimate to just how tight you were. It was difficult to describe just how full and amazing he felt inside you. Your breathing picked up as he slowly began to thrust in and out.

The small ‘oh’s’ and ‘ ah’s’ from your mouth filled the room, mixing with the sound of skin slapping on skin. Keigo’s mouth returned to your collarbone as he picked up his pace, nearly removing himself from your cunt before pushing himself back in, almost punching you in the cervix. Every vein felt like it was made to please you, sending your nerves into a frenzy.

“Holy fuck you feel good.” His breathing matched your own, rough and uneven. Enough to send shivers down your spine. Your head arched back, enjoying the sensation of his cock while he adjusted himself to put your nipple in his mouth. Nails traced thin white lines down his back, lightly breaking the tattooed skin.

The building sensation was quickly becoming overwhelming. Your mind unable to focus on your surroundings, only your impending release. “Oh Fuck, Kei. I’m gonna cum.” You grabbed a fistful of his hair, your other hand gripping onto his shoulder. Your words causing him to go feral, his pace increasing exponentially as he gripped harder into your thighs. His fingertips sure to leave bruises. He brought his mouth back up to yours, his tongue thrashing with your own in a sloppy kiss.

The bundle of nerves inside you, that kept winding tighter and tighter exploded. You gripped harder as the wave of sensation washed over you, continuing to hold on as Keigo reached his own release, emptying himself inside of you. You rested your forehead against his, enjoying the moment of bliss before he pulled out.

��So..” Keigo smiled “Think you’re ready to record a number one single?”

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #hawks #keigo takami #keigo takami x reader #hawks x reader #music industry au #bnha #mha #smut #hawks smut #boku no hero fanfic #Dj! Hawks

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passionate-reply · 3 years

Video

youtube

This week on Great Albums: a stupendously underrated classic of queer punk meets synth sophistication, and an album without which we wouldn’t have Dare by the Human League: Homosapien, the 1981 solo opus of Buzzcocks frontman Pete Shelley. Find out more by watching the video, or reading the transcript below!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’ll be talking about one of those albums that isn’t necessarily the most acclaimed or best remembered work of its period, but nonetheless played an important role in history, and remains unrivaled for its uniqueness: Pete Shelley’s Homosapien, first released in 1981.

Shelley has historically been chiefly remembered as the frontman of the punk act, Buzzcocks. But, despite punk’s reputation for simplicity to the point of obnoxiousness, Shelley was one of many musicians to come from the punk scene with a penchant for experimental or otherwise ground-breaking music. His very first solo release, 1980’s Sky Yen, features little more than a brash wall of oscillating electronic noise, not unlike the earliest provocations of industrial artists like Cabaret Voltaire.

Music: “Sky Yen (Part One)”

Subsequent generations of critics have gone great lengths to coin and define terminology, in the hopes of breaking this period down into constituent parts, but the more I study it, the more I’m inclined to view it as just a huge soup. There was, quite simply, a lot going on in Britain’s underground in the late 70s and early 80s, and in practice, the lines between punk, post-punk, industrial, synth, noise, and other avant-garde miscellany are frequently illegible. As an artifact of this era, Homosapien resonates with all of the contradictions this melting pot would imply, fusing emotional rawness and pristine production in a way that never quite settles down and feels comfortable.

Music: “I Don’t Know What It Is”

“I Don’t Know What It Is” served as the opening track of the album’s second side, as well as its lead single. With a bona fide guitar solo as well as a propulsive, and truly soaring, chorus, it somewhat resembles that most 1980s of art forms, the power ballad. It is, ostensibly, a love song, and is revealed to be one quickly enough, but its portrayal of love is far from kind. While a real power ballad might take the concept of love for granted, “I Don’t Know What It Is” seems to portray it as something mysterious, inscrutable, and dangerous. And I can’t forget to mention just how much Pete Shelley stands out as a vocalist--his high-pitched, perhaps even fried or shrill vocals add a great deal to the song’s sense of unease, and really sell the idea of someone who’s being overtaken by an uncontrollable and dominating force.

Of course, perhaps the most noteworthy thing about Homosapien’s sound is its fusion of the hard, driving acoustic guitar of punk with the electronic sensibilities of its producer, Martin Rushent. I wouldn’t say this combination is ever terribly cohesive in its sound, but I think that’s why I find this album so interesting: there’s a tension that permeates each track, a feeling that things don’t fit together. While Homosapien is a pioneering work of electronic-centered production, enough of the pieces are still in place that you can certainly hear the shape of music to come as you listen to it. It’s not just the synthesisers, but also the use of electronic percussion here--it’s difficult to overstate the impact that so-called “drum machines” had around this time. While reviled by many, both then and now, rhythm machines were undeniably “instrumental” in changing what popular music sounded like. Even synthesiser-based electronic acts like Gary Numan, OMD, and Kraftwerk often relied on traditional percussion, so this genuinely was pretty shocking at the time.

Perhaps the most important element of the legacy of Homosapien is the fact that Martin Rushent would go on to use the skills he honed here to produce one of the most influential albums of the 1980s, and perhaps of all time: The Human League’s Dare, which would go on to cast an enormous shadow on nearly all popular music to come, after playing an enormous role in instigating an era of popular dominance of synth-pop. In that sense at least, Homosapien is certainly a very historically important album, and for that reason alone, I think it deserves a fair bit more attention than it gets. Still, for as much as the electronics might be the most forward-looking element of this album, one also can’t deny that it remains full of aggressive and perfectly punk overtones, as on the crass or perhaps dismissive screed of “Guess I Must Have Been In Love With Myself.”

Music: “Guess I Must Have Been In Love With Myself”

While Homosapien has many moments of seemingly being too thorny to get a good grip on, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t also times in which it can feel like a bit more than the sum of its apparent parts, as on its most narrative-driven track, “Pusher Man.”

Music: “Pusher Man”

“Pusher Man” is one of, if not the, most synth-centered compositions to be had on Homosapien, but its insistent pacing and neurotic portrayal of the “low life” theme of buying illicit drugs mean you’ll never confuse it for run of the mill synth-pop. Moreso than anything else the album offers, this track reminds me of the sort of “synth-punk” that American acts like the Units and Crash Course In Science would put forward at around the same time. “Pusher Man” was, at the very least, a sufficiently experimental track to earn the honour of being cut from the US release of the album in order to make room for some non-album A-sides, as happened to many albums at the time. But hey, that’s enough beating around the bush. Let’s talk about the real crown jewel of this album.

Music: “Homosapien”

If you’ve heard anything from this album before, chances are, it was probably the title track, which proved to be quite the commercial success--despite being banned by the BBC on account of its homoerotic content. Given that this very same year, they also came after OMD’s “Enola Gay” for its obviously nonexistent reference to homosexuality, one might be forgiven for thinking that a tune called “Homosapien” was simply misinterpreted. The title track isn’t terribly explicit material, but its clever wordplay nonetheless deals quite deftly with issues of sexuality and personal identity. In the earlier verses, Shelley introduces us to typified roles of gay male sexuality--the “cruiser,” the “shy boy”--only to seemingly doff them with the tune’s defiant refrain, asserting that the only truly important identity a human being has is that of “Homosapien.” Far from being an unfortunate coincidence, the similarity of “Homosapien” to “homosexual” is being employed here completely deliberately, particularly with it being mashed into a single word and thus gaining a greater resemblance to the word “homosexual” in print. It not only allows Shelley to belt out a borderline dirty word, but also creates a sort of unconscious syllogism, suggesting, in a sense, that homosexuals are people too.

With elements of both unapologetic pride in one’s own queerness, as well as the uncompromising assertion that humanity is something much deeper than that, the title track of Homosapien is one of the most fascinating and inspiring queer anthems of its time. Its artsy slipperiness has prevented it from feeling more shallow with time, and its straightforward or raw quality, intensified by that constant acoustic guitar, has kept it sounding equally sharp. It genuinely does surprise me that this album isn’t at least a little bit better remembered than it is. Outside of the title track, most of this album is currently not available on services like Spotify and YouTube Music at the time of this writing, and I actually struggled to present musical examples here. That’s really a pretty high level of neglect in this day and age, and I hope it can be rectified in the relatively near future.

It would be no exaggeration for me to say that Homosapien features some of my very favourite cover art of any album. Homosapien’s sleeve design sees Shelley occupy some sort of sleek, but hollow hyper-modernist office. Geometric forms suggest the world of the artificial or ideal. An Egyptian statue beside Shelley is a reminder of history, and the idea that even the greatest empires must eventually fall. Likewise, the telescope and early computer positioned nearer to Shelley are evocative symbols of science and technology--but in context they seem more sinister, being juxtaposed against a phrenology bust, which evokes the ways in which our attempts at science have caused misunderstanding and great human misery in the past. The central scene is framed in with large areas of black, which make the space feel even more claustrophobic and uninviting, and Shelley appears to be pushed into the background, almost belittled by the inanimate objects. Overall, I think it’s sort of funny that this album��s cover is perhaps more iconally “New Wave” than the music itself ended up being, particularly with Shelley clad in this somewhat foppish white suit and bow tie--certainly a big change of attire for a former punk!

Given the experimental nature of the collaboration between Shelley and Rushent, you might be surprised to learn that Homosapien actually wasn’t a one-off. Just two years later, Shelley would release a follow-up LP, XL-1, which was also produced by Rushent and largely continues the same ideas. While Shelley would never see the success of “Homosapien” again, the XL-1 single “Telephone Operator” would also chart to a lesser degree.

Music: “Telephone Operator”

My favourite track on Homosapien is “Qu’est-ce que c’est que ça,” which closes out the first side of the album. If you’re familiar with my other work, you probably already know that I’m coming at this as someone chiefly interested in the electronic side of things, and I think that of everything on this album, “Qu’est-ce que c’est que ça” is the closest to being convincing as a synth-pop tune. With a bubbly, synth-dominant sound and lyrics that are more contemplative than aggressive, it’s much closer to the mould of what I usually listen to for fun than a lot of the other tracks are. That’s everything for today--thanks for listening!

Music: “Qu’est-ce que c’est que ça”

#music #great albums #album review #album reviews #pete shelley #buzzcocks

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red-sector-rivendell · 4 years

Note

media reccs? 👀 since apparently you are a man of good taste?

Wow thank you 😏 I have a masterlist of movies that have changed me I often recommend to people, I'll just copy and paste here with quick synopses lol, it's kinda long. I'm not super great at writing synopses tho so bear with me

Dead Poets Society (1989)

One of my favorite movies of all time and a total classic. It's about a group of boys at a strict boarding school who are inspired by their new English teacher (played by Robin Williams) to think for themselves and chase their dreams. This movie literally changed my life lol

Quadrophenia (1979)

This movie is based off of the story behind the concept album by The Who of the same name. It follow the life of a young man named Jimmy who is in a gang called the Mods. Theres this huge gang war between them and the Rockers (I think that's their name, it's been a while since i watched it) and Jimmy questions his beliefs about coming-of-age and his values in life throughout the film

Cabaret (1972)

Based off of the Broadway musical of the same name, this movie is about a British man who moves to Germany during the beginning of the rise of Nazis. He meets a woman who basically turns his world upside down, and it follows their love affair and sexuality and anti-semitism, and it's hilarious and heart wrenching and a beautiful movie

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

This is a super trippy romance film. Basically in the universe of this movie, theres a technology that is developed that can delete memories of an entire person from your mind while you are in a dream-like state, and the main character of this movie (played by Jim Carrey) decides to undergo the procedure after a bad breakup. Its soooo good I highly recommend this movie

It's Such a Beautiful Day (2012)

This is an animated film about a man named Bill who is going through brain cancer. Its told from the perspective of an unnamed narrator essentially communicating everything Bill sees, hears, and experiences. This is the movie that got me into film and it is still a complete masterpiece and one of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen

The Dirties (2013)

Loved this one a lot back in high school, it's been a while since I watched it. This is a film made in Canada about a high schooler named Matt Johnson and his friend Owen who decide to make a short film for their class about them killing the gang at their school that bullies them, and things take a dark turn. It's a hilarious movie and hits pretty close to home for me in a lot of ways haha

Logan's Run (1976)

Great movie, pretty cheesy though so be warned. This is based off a book with the same name, and it takes place in the future where most of humanity is wiped out except for a small society that lives under a domed structure. No one is allowed to leave the dome, and to control overpopulation, no one is allowed to live past the age of 30. It's really bizarre but I love this movie

Donnie Darko (2001)

Pretty sure this was Jake Gyllenhaal's first big hit when he was super young (I think he was like 19 in this movie but I'm not sure) basically about this kid, Donnie Darko, who is somewhat schizophrenic and has a habit of sleepwalking. After one particular incident he has a near-death experience and starts seeing a man in a bunny costume everywhere who makes him do weird stuff. Another pretty trippy movie with a crazy ending

American Psycho (2000)

Honestly I'm sure a few on this list you've probably seen (most likely this one included) but I didnt wanna leave any out because they're all so good. If you haven't seen this, it's about a Wall Street executive named Patrick Bateman who is a materialistic phony by day and a serial killer by night. I tried to read the book but the inner dialogue was really hard to get through lmao. Awesome movie though huge recommend.

Clockwork Orange (1971)

Yet another trippy one. And fuck it's been a long time since I've seen it so I might get some stuff wrong here. But it's basically about this serial rapist guy who hangs out with this group of goons and they all like to go beat up homeless people and shit, but the main character gets captured and has to go through reformation therapy to make him a better person. It's an extremely bizarre movie but soooo good and kind of hilarious lol

Creep (2014)

Of course this is on my list haha. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a horror movie about this freelance film guy who answers an ad on craigslist to help a man with cancer film a movie for his unborn son. And shit gets weird real fast. One of my favorite horror movies ever, I wouldnt say it's super scary but it's fun as fuck

Hereditary (2018)

If I'm being honest, I don't like a lot of big movies made in super recent years and especially not horror movies (mostly because they're all cheap cash grabs with no substance) but this one is an exception for me. Hereditary is fucking masterful in my opinion, legitimately creepy as hell and well-produced and well written. To put the plot as vaguely as possible without spoiling anything, it's about a family (mostly the mother) who go through some crazy fucked up shit. That's literally all I can say without giving anything away. Super good flick, big recommend

Gattaca (1997)

This list isn't in any particular order, and I love all these movies to death, but if I had to rank them this would probably be on the lower end. It's not a bad movie, it's still great but it's just not as life-changing as the other ones lmao. This takes place in the future where genetic modifications have progressed to a point where you can modify your unborn child's DNA to have the perfect baby. This has led to, essentially racial bias against those who never had that procedure when they were born. The main character was not one of these "special" children, but he wants an extremely prestigious job which requires that of the employee. Through the film, he is trying to fake his identity and fool the company into thinking he is one of these perfect people. Still a great film

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Johnny Depp, man, he is something else. I LOVE this movie. Based off a true story and a book written by the man who lived it, Hunter S. Thompson, this follows the adventure of the writer and his attorney as they go on a drugged-out, psychedelic romp through Las Vegas with the original intention being to cover a story on a motorcycle race, but things go off the rails as they both terrorize the entire city in a way. Just a fun ride the whole way, a great movie

The Truman Show (1998)

God I'm realizing this list is long as fuck. Don't watch all of these movies, it might take you a lifetime lmao. Anyway, this is a classic Jim Carrey movie and another one you've probably seen. But again, if you haven't, this movie is about a man whose entire life has been fabricated and shot for television without him knowing. Super great, super moving, fantastic film 10 outta 10 I gotta wrap this shit up

A Scanner Darkly (2006)

A lesser known Keanu Reeves movie, but fuck I wish more people have seen this. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and it's based off a book which is just as amazing. This movie takes place in the near future, where facial recognition technology has progressed wayyy too far, and drugs have gotten to the point of no return. The plot follows a detective who is undercover in a junkie house trying to figure out who is the top of the drug dealing totem pole, but ends up wrapped in the junkie lifestyle a little too deeply. Seriously, I recommend this movie to everyone who asks, it's so damn good

Fight Club (1999)

Another popular one. If you havent seen it, it's based off a book by Chuck Palahniuk following the story of a man (the main character actually doesnt have a name lol) who meets a guy named Tyler Durden who changes his entire perspective on how the world works. They start an underground boxing club together to help themselves and other men blow off steam and get away from the capitalist consumer-centric lifestyle they are forced into. Big twist at the end, great movie five stars on yelp

Harold and Maude (1971)

This is a weird one. Gotta say. It's about a guy in his 20s who meets an old woman at a funeral and falls in love with her. Sounds pretty ok at face value but theres a lot of really strange subplots and a huuuuge twist at the end (one of the subplots being the guy compulsively fakes his suicide to get his mother's attention) big recommend

Polyester (1981)

This one I cant even explain u just have to watch it its fucking bizarre

Fargo (1996)

Ok lightning round on the synopses, this movie is about a man who wants to commit fraud by hiring guys to kidnap his wife so her father can pay them ransom and instead the husband gets the money but everything goes wrong it's really good

Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)

Another modern movie I actually like, last time I watched this I was on shrooms and it was crazy but it's about this hotel right on the border of california and (Nevada I think?) And all these weird people are staying at it and there are twists at every turn and chris hemsworth is a cult leader in it its great

Memento (2000)

GREAT MOVIE GOD PLEASE WATCH THIS ONE it's about a man who develops short term memory loss after witnessing the rape and murder of his wife AND WHEN I SAY THERE ARE TWISTS LIKE EVERY TEN MINUTES I MEAN IT. The film is chronologically backwards, in that the first scene takes place at the end of the story and works back from there in increments of like 5 minutes. Basically each scene is a segment of time that this guy remembers before his memory loss kicks in and he forgets and FUCK it's so good please god watch it

Almost Famous (2000)

This is another one that would probably be low on my ranking but still a great and fun movie, it's about this kid that wants to write articles about rock stars for the rolling stone (based off a true story btw) and he ends up running away to go ride on a tour bus with some band and gets into all types of shenanigans and its great and sad

Parasite (2019)

Another modern movie I love, fuck this is getting too long lmao. Poor family wants to make money and they hatch a scheme to pretend to be bougie and work for this rich family but shit gets weird and everything goes wrong and it's so good (also literally the only film ever that made me speechless afterwards)

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Pretty much lives up to the hype, I totally forgot the plot but it's pretty damn good I remember that lmao

The Warriors (1979)

Fun movie, theres a bunch of teen gangs in New York and the leader of all of em is like "hey we should rally all the gangs together and fuck up the cops so we can rule this city" but then he gets shot by someone in the crowd and the gang The Warriors gets blamed so the whole movie is them running from all the other gangs so they can get back to home base and it's just an all around fun time movie

12 Monkeys (1995)

THIS MOVJE IS CRAZY it takes place in the future where a virus has almost completely wiped humans off the face of the earth so these scientists send this guy back in time to figure out where it came from so they can stop it from ever happening but obviously everything goes wrong and yadda yadda yadda it's amazing

Waking Life (2001)

Gonna preface this by saying this film is definitely not for entertainment, it's kind of an arthouse-type flick. It's the type of movie you have to think really really hard about to watch. The basic plot is the main character is stuck inside his own lucid dream, and is walking around listening to all these characters in his dream talk to him about, idk like the meaning of life and consciousness and shit. It's really good if you're in the mood for that type of thing.

Okay I'm finally done, you probably didnt expect this but I've been meaning to put my movie recommendations on this blog anyway haha. I deleted some just cause it was getting wayyyy too long. If u want a shorter list I can just give u like a top 5 in DMs but there u go have at it, every movie on that list is a banger I swear

#long post #movies #film #cinema #cinephile #ask #movie recommendations #you have no obligation to read all that #really shows how bored i am that i wrote out this whole fuckin thing on my phone lmao #youre welcome?

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wendynerdwrites · 4 years

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Let’s go into this for a second. Because the Justin/Britney thing is not just a case of him “standing by” and “not defending her.” He was an active abuser.

Now, let me start by saying I don’t get why people are focusing as much on “Cry Me a River” while we’re Timberlake’s treatment of Britney. Why?

1) There’s a few things that can be said in defense of “Cry Me a River.” (or, rather, there are some things assholes will say in defense of “Cry Me a River” and I just want to cover them before I get a chorus of “Well, ACTUALLY”) Yeah, it’s trashy and, if the rumors of mutual cheating are true, hilariously sexist and hypocritical. But one can argue that we’re a public that 100% approves of pop singers airing their relationship drama and dirty laundry, especially when it comes to alleged infidelity. Justin was young and likely going through some shit and we let tons of singer-songwriters get away with that shit. So, yeah, it’s not great but I can see reasons for it existing outside of simple slut-shaming and malice. This was also when both parties were at the top of their game, which is pretty relevant IMHO. Also:

2) THIS FUCKING THING EXISTS.

Let’s be clear here: Justin already got his problematic “revenge” on Britney with “Cry Me a River.” In response, Britney wrote “Everytime”, a ballad about emotional vulnerability, begging for forgiveness, and about still loving him. It’s hilarious that anyone dares to call Britney Spears “low class” when she showed nothing but graciousness and sensitivity where Justin showed none. That is pure class. And that is ESPECIALLY true if, once again, the rumors are true and BOTH of them cheated. Britney also continued to speak well of Justin for YEARS. Because Britney is just classier, wiser, and more mature than most people give her credit for.

And maybe on some level Justin knew that in the long run Britney made the wise move and, because he is a douche, instead of taking notes, he decided to turn the vindictiveness up to eleven. Because that is EXACTLY what happened here.

He technically released the album “What Goes Around” is on in late 2006, right when Britney had just had her second kid, was divorcing K-Fed and the tabloids were gleefully reporting on her being cheated on. Once again, Justin got his “revenge” before. “Cry Me a River” was an enormous hit that basically set his solo career on the path to success. And he’d been getting nothing but good press since. His second solo album, Futuresex/Lovesounds, in which “What Goes Around” appears, was basically the album that made people go “Justin’s not just a pop star, he is a BADASS SERIOUS ARTIST!” He got acclaim and regard that Britney never was going to get. He was not just the most popular solo male pop artist, he was getting artistic and critical clout too. He was doing GREAT while Britney was in the midst of an enormous crisis that didn’t just endanger her, but her babies. (Seriously, if Sean Preston Federline doesn’t have some sort of photosensitivity issues after an infancy of paparazzi flashes going off in his face, it’s a miracle). She was dealing with assholes who ALMOST MADE HER DROP HER CHILD, FFS.

And then the video for this thing...

People forget how rapid and publicized Britney’s breakdown was. She was clearly freaking out and having horrible issues by the end of 2006. Everyone knew it and they were GLEEFUL about it. We saw it EVERYWHERE. And this was pure Omelas shit. Let’s not pretend Justin didn’t know. He did.

See, to milk this newest “Punish-the-whore” song to the fullest extent, Justin couldn’t use a look-alike again. He’d done that. So instead he hired the hottest young actress in Hollywood instead. This was exactly the time when Scarlett Johansson was topping the “Sexiest Woman in Hollywood” Year-end lists. Which coincided with everyone calling Britney fat and gross (even though she was at a perfectly healthy weight, especially for someone who had two fucking pregnancies in the space of two years). Justin hired Scarlett to make sure there was as much publicity around this as possible. Not that he even needed that, since--

-----THIS WAS AT THE HEIGHT OF BRITNEY’S BREAKDOWN AND ABUSE BY THE PRESS!

Justin premiered the video on the iTunes store on February 9th, 2007. Ten days later was when Britney famously shaved her head. At this point, she was already in danger of losing all custody of her kids to the very man Justin is taunting her about in this song. She’s already been called fat, crazy, gross, stupid, and a bad mom by the press. She was stalked constantly and treated like garbage no matter what she did.

And Justin decided it wasn’t enough. Rock Bottom wasn’t enough. Someone needed to go down to rock bottom with a shovel and bury Britney below rock bottom. So he released a video where the Hot New Thing plays a merciless CHEATING WHORE who of course dies in a fiery car crash a la BUtterfield 8, another “Punish the whore” narrative.

When his ex WAS NOTORIOUSLY UNABLE TO DRIVE SAFELY, HE MADE A VIDEO WHERE A VERSION OF HER IS PUNISHED WITH A DEATH VIA FIERY CAR CRASH!

Justin Timberlake is a lot of things, but he is not stupid or naive or unsophisticated. This is a man who grew up in the industry and worked with some of the best artists in popular music. You are not going to tell me that 1) This wasn’t about Britney (no matter how coy he might play) or 2) That he didn’t know exactly what he was doing. If Britney at 25 was old enough to be slandered in the press, he at 26 was old enough to be judged for the art he created.

He wanted a story, he wanted to use what was happening to Britney to get it, and he got it.

...And what’s more, it was HILARIOUSLY UNNECESSARY.

Some snarky people have pointed out that when “Justified”, his first album, was first released, the first single did not do well. It was “Cry Me a River” that rescued his solo venture. But that is NOT the case for “Futuresex/Lovesounds” and “What Goes Around... Comes Around.” By the time WGA...CA came out, it was the third single and the first two singles, “Sexyback” and “My Love” were the BIGGEST SONGS OF 2006.

He didn’t need Britney drama to help his chart success. At all. Even a little. Even kind of a little.

He just did it to hurt her and kick her while she was down.

That’s abuse. Pure and simple. Active and enthusiastic abuse.

So I have no interest in people wanting to applaud Justin for his shit-tier, 20-year late apology that his Press Agent wrote because they noticed this wasn’t going away. Justin was right in the end. What Goes Around DOES Come Back Around sometimes. Kind of. Now the very media he was oh-so-gleefully weaponizing against Britney is giving him a taste of what they gave Britney in 2007 (just a taste of course, we all know Justin would never and will never experience anything near the Hell his ex went through).

“What Goes Around... Comes Around” is one of the most blatant and vile pieces of abusive trash in popular media. And Justin shouldn’t be called out for “doing nothing” and “not defending” Britney or “failing to stand up for what’s right” or whatever mealy-mouthed bullshit his Reps are trying to sell to the press as being what he is guilty of. He should be called what he is: a petty, pathetic, cruel, misogynistic ABUSER.

#justin timberlake #britney spears #Free Britney #abuse cw

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defensefilms · 3 years

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Defense Films Names His Top 5 Favorite Rappers

In All It’s Infinite Glory And Magnanimity, Defense Gives You His Top 5 Favorite Rappers.

5. 50 Cent

To this day, when you need a playlist for a MMA class and the group is hella diverse, you’re not really sure which way to go with it, pop in that 50. Can’t go wrong with Get Rich Or Die Trying (the original), or even that G-Unit Beg For Mercy.

That run from late 2002-2005/06 was unlike anything you’ll ever see again. That was a perfect situation where there was organic support from fans and there were people at a business level, mainly 50, that knew how to turn it into the wave that it became and industry has been trying to replicate this ever since.

While most people remember is the numerous scandals, beefs and controversies of that time but it was the music that moved the audience. For all the ways 50 Cent’s success mirrors ruthless American capitalism, his debut album is low key one of the most inspiring albums you’ll ever listen to.

It’s a foxhole mentality on wax. It’s me-versus-you type thinking. It’s someone has to lose and I’ll be damned. It’s who ever has to get hit, is gonna get hit.

See the first time I listened to it, it was about “In Da Club”, “Wanksta”, you know the more palatable records that got on radio and all that but the more I listened the more I realized, it was actually built on the backs of songs like “Patiently Waiting”, “Many Men”, “Back Down”, “Don’t Push Me” and “Gotta Make It To Heaven”. On one side it’s as motivational as you can think of but it’s not the wacky kind of naivé motivational talk because it’s willing to get it’s hands dirty and go in to much grittier ideas.

Like his predecessors, 50 pulls off the trick of balancing easy-to-listen-to records on a foundation of graphic and aggressive songs.

Recommended Songs: Maybe We Crazy, When It Rains It Pours

4. Jedi Mind Tricks

I’ll give you props if you know who these man are but they are legends. Point blank. Violent By Design will forever rank as one of the great group albums in hip-hop history. Vinny Paz, Jus Allah and producer/DJ Stoupe The Enemy of Mankind, gave hip-hop a shockwave they weren’t ready for, especially back in 1999.

Hip-hop as a business wasn’t ready to market a group, whose themes were rooted in topics like government control, military warfare, covert control tactics, religion and psychological warfare. To have all that in one bundle wasn’t something that big time A&R’s were ready for.

Had they started this group in 2010, they would have walked in to a business landscape that was far more suitable to who they were as an act and as MC’s.

Even with that JMT still enjoyed a lot of notoriety and they definitely succeeded in establishing their following, despite the odds.

While Violent By Design may serve as the magnum opus of their body of work, their run really starts in 1997 with the Psycho-Social, Biological & Electro-Magnetic Manipulation Of Human Kind.

Yes guy, that’s an album title. You gotta think now, I was in high school the first time I heard this and I was very into conspiracy theories and nonsense, so this album hit me right between the eyes. The idea that someone could use the medium of hip-hop in this way was crazy and the album would have been more than 10 years old when I first heard it.

No, the hip-hop historians among us will argue that Wu-Tang were a better and more influential group and I’d tend to agree, I can also bust back and say, “these dudes took Wu-Tang’s formula and gave it a whole different edge.”

I’ll break it to you like this, Wu-Tang gave the world swordsmanship and the first projectile weapons like bow and arrows, spears and the likes. Jedi Mind Tricks gave the world gun powder, advanced modern explosives and semi-automatics. You see what I mean?

Recommended Songs: Untitled, Retaliation Remix

3. Jay-Z

No top rappers list is complete without my man. The only reason he ain’t higher is because, I rate a rapper more highly if they’re in the prime of their musical abilities. If this were an all-time list he’d be way way higher.

Beginning with Reasonable Doubt is really the only place to start when it comes to Jay. The production, the skits, the way every sentence was so tightly wound together, the word selection and sentence construction. It’s remembered as an album of hits because of tracks like “Cant Knock The Hustle”, ”Feelin It” and “Brooklyn’s Finest” but Reasonable Doubt was really defined by “Dead Presidents”, “D’evils”, “Politics As Usual” and “Can I Live”.

The first batch of songs gave the album some relatability, as far as depicting club vibes and nightlife glamour because that second batch of songs were all built on darker themes like betrayal, jealousy, greed, blind ambition and deception. That combination of themes as well as the production to match each one is why that album will always rank high among a certain listenership.

With that being said, never make the mistake of thinking Jay or any man is perfect. There’s like a 3 album run where there’s moments of dope-ness but not a truly complete album.

Still with that, songs like “Imaginary Player” and “Where I’m From” will rank among his best songs.

It’s only when you get to The Blueprint can you start to see Jay perfecting the art of crafting, whole, complete albums that bump from start to finish. The Blueprint was near perfection in this regard. “U Don’t Know”, “Heart Of The City” and “Momma Loves Me” will rank as his best efforts and yeah, I skipped a few.

The Black Album replicated the Blueprint’s listenability, while also dealing in topics that created an album that sounded very personal to Jay.

All told, the best parts of his catalogue are so strong that there is no denying his place on my list.

Recommended Songs: Dead Presidents, I Love The Dough

2. Action Bronson

I cannot for the life of me fathom how this man doesn’t get the love but the real ones know.

The mixtape download era (2010-2017 give or take), had many unlikely success stories. An overweight white guy, who grew up cooking in his parents deli/eatery, turned pro-chef then turned rapper, is beyond unlikely. Only the internet could allow this man to succeed and thank the hip-hop gods it did.

From 2012 to about 2018, Action was one of the only constants in my playlist. I still remember where I was the first time I heard “Brunch”. His catalogue starting with the Tommy Mas produced, Dr Lecter and boasting full collaborations albums along side Statik Selektah and the Alchemist, and of course the classic Blue Chips series. This man’s prime will be underrated.

If you’re going to take one chapter of Bronson’s art and study it, it’s going to be Blue Chips 1 and 2. Both are thematically perfect without ever trying to be. Which is what allowed Party Supplies to make production choices that grabbed you from the jump. From the first time you hit play on the opening of Blue Chips 1, you’re hit with the sound of falling shards of glass and a violin sound that makes the opening song un-skippable. The songs themes are also a perfect introduction to the man himself. Debauchery, expensive taste, hedonism, revelry, unabashed pleasure-seeking, drug use and just enough self-depreciation that you felt you were along for the ride rather than just a fly on the wall, turning your nose in disgust. It was a perfect mixtape, at a time when mixtapes were at a crazy dumb high standard.

It’s not so much that a rapper made punchlines about food, that would be an over-simplification and really missing the trick. It’s that he made everything he said sound like the dopest thing ever and the most underrated trick about his music is that he made grown man rap without needing to be thuggin’. A rare feat.

Bronson has since gone on to establish himself as a content creator/producer/food review guy but man, what he accomplished as a complete body of work is nothing short of astonishing.

Recommended Songs: Midget Cough, Bonzai

1. Headie One

So it’s late last year. I’m hanging with my boy Phil and Brown, we had just finished some content and Phil says “yo listen to this”. He proceeds to play Golden Boot and it hasn’t stopped bumping since.

A UK rapper with a lyrical nous and wit that rivals even legends like Jay-Z, but rapping over trap and drill beats. What Headie One is doing is not the norm and I’m talking in terms of his lyrics, sentence construction, word selection, metaphors, he does it all and like all the greats, he makes it look easy.

His collaboration with RV definitely helped mold him, with both the “Sticks and Stones” and “Drillers and Trappers” mixtapes giving you an idea of what Headie offers as a lyricist. He compliments RV’s brash, aggressive boasts with slightly less obvious but incredibly witty boasts of his own.

His discography though really starts to peak with 2018′s “The One”. That’s where Headie begins find a sweet spot between his lyrics, production and the themes of his songs. A mixtape like this can only exist via independent release because outside of the aforementioned “Golden Boot”, ain’t none of those songs getting any radio play especially in a country as “conservative” as England. Even in a genre saturated with gangsta/trap, “The One” stands out for what he accomplishes lyrically.

Headie would follow that by releasing “The One Two” in June of 2018 and he ascends even more in what he’s able to accomplish with the words.

The track “Banter On Me” should be in an all-time list somewhere for being the wittiest track of all time. The song is literally just Headie finding new and innovative ways to boast, call out and bait his foes. Hip-hop/Rap has plenty of beef songs that weren’t really direct call outs to any known public figure but were still definitely taking shots at someone. 50 cent’s “Wanksta” and “Officer Down” are some examples of such songs I can think of. Those did not really have the kind of wit Headie displays here. The constant streams of alliterations, double meanings, puns, metaphors, inferences and innuendos is just astonishing. There’s a real mastery of language at play here. The song is a lesson in language, no textbooks.

Headie has since released his debut album along with additional tracks for the delux version of the album. His debut studio release “Edna” does what studio releases are supposed to do. “Parle-Vouz Anglais” and “Aint It Different” will standout and are difinitely the most palatable songs as far as radio play. Those are the 2 songs I’d play for first time listeners.

Recommended Songs: Hard To Believe, Dues, Zodiac

#music #hip-hop #rap #50 cent #jedi mind tricks #jay z #action bronson #headie #headie one

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stylesnews · 5 years

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Harry in Conversation with Steve Lacy for Man About Town Magazine

Steve Lacy is a rare creative talent. Having been nominated for a Grammy in his teens for his work with his genre-defying band The Internet, and on the back of a critical acclaimed album — Apollo XXI — this year, the young star takes time out of his tour to chat with Harry Styles.

HS: Hey Steve!

SL: What’s up, Harry?

HS: I’m good, man. How are you?

SL: I’m good. I’m in bed, in my tour bus.

HS: [Laughs] Oh, yeah? Where are you on the way to?

SL: We’re our way to Boston.

HS: I like Boston! Boston’s like, not trying to be… it’s just… Boston. And it’s great. How’s your tour been so far?

SL: It’s been really good. It’s a big learning experience I guess, doing it by myself. But it’s been sick.

HS: What do you find is the biggest difference for you? I mean obviously being on stage by yourself, or the touring part? Travelling, the off-time…

SL: I think it’s probably just as easy, because as far as travelling and everything, we have the same team. I have the same tour manager and the same techs, so that’s easy. And then being on my stage is super easy, because I didn’t find another band — it’s just a DJ and me. So I kind of treat it like a rapper, who plays an instrument and sings melodies to people. Because I really want it to be as easy as possible, or else I’m just going to cancel. I really didn’t want to leave my house after I came back from the other tour with The Internet [laughs], so my tour had to be at ease for me to leave!

HS: What do you usually do between shows and stuff?

SL: I’m usually sleeping. Or I’m walking around. Like yesterday, I walked around a little bit, and I shopped. I ran into this guy that was a fan — this Korean dude — and I ended up getting food with him [laughs]. Then we went to Balenciaga and played dress up for like an hour. My days off are pretty spontaneous! I might make some music; I write. But yeah, it’s pretty cool to hang out with everyone.

HS: [Laughing] How was the dress up?

SL: It was good! I always throw on at least 8-10 looks in there. Throw on some dresses...it’s real nice.

HS: How do you find you relationship between fashion and music? Do you feel like one usually influences the other, or do you feel like they both end up influencing each other? And how much do you find it to be an important part of performing and being on stage, and being in music in general?

SL: I feel like they flow from the same river. They come from the same place of self-expression. I’ve always admired style, so, yeah, I think I appreciate it just as much. I don’t know if one inspires me more than the other, but I think they come from the same place. They kind of just mesh. But it’s definitely important for me to appear a certain way to perform. I don’t know, I just like to feel… I guess like characters. So I like to separate the stage presence from the person off stage. It’s like a little mind game I play with myself. But it makes me feel more like a... star.

HS: You put your suit on and do your thing, right?

SL: Exactly. And then take it off. I love it. I think it’s good to separate the two.

HS: Yeah, totally. Like Prince. How much are you inspired by him with fashion, with music; does he play a big part? Is it seeing people like him do stuff like that that’s played a part in it, do you think?

SL: I think a little bit, yeah. He inspired me more musically than fashion-wise, I think. He did have a couple of fashion looks that I liked and am yet to explore. But it was a look he did for… do you know the Dirty Mind Tour? Have you ever seen the concert clips from that?

HS: Yeah!

SL: Well he had like, this thong/panty thing. With these long socks that go up to his thigh, like right under where his panties were. With these boots. And a trench-coat. That’s a look I’ve yet to explore, but I’m definitely inspired by that one. And the music inspired me after he died, actually. I didn’t grow up listening to him. But the guy who taught me how to play guitar, some years back — I guess right after Prince died — he asked me [if I] was listening to Prince. And I was like: ‘’No, not really.’’ He was just one of those people that knew was a legend, but I didn’t question why, or try to figure out why. I was just like: ‘’Yeah. He’s a legend’’ [laughs]. He told me to listen to the first album. And then, from there I was like: ‘’Oh shit. Yeah.’’ He just made sense to me, and a lot of things connected. Because, you know, he was a Gemini man, who produced everything, worked on [his first demo] when he was like 15 or 16, something like that. It came out when he 19. So, yeah. It was special to me when I found it.

HS: Growing up, were your family musical, or was it something that you found on your own? When did you realise, “Oh, I want to do that”?

SL: I was kind of desensitized to music from my family. My family sings; I guess I should start there. My whole family sings, from my grandma, to my cousins, to my aunt, to my... you know. Everything. We all sing. So, I didn’t really have thought of creating, it was just like: “Oh yeah, Music is cool, everyone sings. Cool.” I didn’t really get inspired to start making it until I saw people making music, and that was when I was 15 or 16. When I met the band. That’s when I saw music happening, and I though, “Oh cool, I think I can do this”.

HS: You were still in high school when you were nominated for a Grammy. How was it to go back to school and be like: “Sup, I’m kind of doing this now, and I’m, like, good at it”, you know?

SL: [Laughing] It was sick. I was really low key though. I didn’t want people to think I was some celebrity kid, because I didn’t want people to treat me weird. So I just told my closest friend and my teachers. But I didn’t, like, run around school yelling “Hey everybody! I’ve been nominated!”, because I was still in school, you know? Like, no-one really cares. But it was definitely cool. Well I guess not even ‘cool’ is the word, it was... What’s the word I’m looking for... I guess super assuring that I was in the right place, essentially.

HS: With The Internet, the’d obviously put out a couple albums before you joined them. Were you a big fan of them before, or was it just something that you ended up finding yourself being a part of?

SL: I just found myself a part of them. I didn’t hear anything about them, before I joined. They were just complete strangers to me — which is pretty cool. I got to see them as people first, so it was really nice, you know? Just feeling that personal connection, and then making my own way into the music somehow.

HS: Nice. I want to talk about ‘Apollo XXI’, I’m sure you do as well. It’s such a blend of so many things: there’s R&B, and hip-hop, and lots of other stuff. How do you think genre really holds up now, compared to solidly things used to be labelled before? Do you think we’re getting to a time where it’s becoming redundant, and more just 'good music’ and 'bad music’? Because I know a lot of the time, especially with newer stuff, when people are asking me what kind of music I make, I don’t necessarily know how to call it. Do you think the times of ‘you’re this, you’re that’ are going, or do you think it’s still very much the same?

SL: Yeah, I think it’s definitely getting redundant as far as the artist is concerned. I think genre is put there to make the music like a business plan. And that’s the part that I hate about it, and why I might not put out another album for a long time, until it’s figured out. Because I hate looking at music and thinking about songs like a fucking iPhone 5 that I have to sell. And then I have another version, the 5s coming out next week, with a different feature, that’s gonna project ‘this many’ sales. I really hate looking at music like that man, so I’ll be happy when it’s figured out. I guess at the end of the day it is a business that I signed up for, but I think when art and business collide, it’s this weird mushy language that you have to, kind of, dance between. So, yeah, I guess I’m still figuring out what to call it to this day. It was definitely a big learning experience releasing my first album. For me, I put ‘Pop’ on it, because albums like the James Brown shit and the Prince shit — those were all ‘Pop’, right? And the had all types of shit on there. So I did that, because I didn’t see it as being anything else. However, what’s considered ‘Pop’ these days, is far from what my album was, you know? It’s super... I guess I can call it white. If you’re black you’re in, like, R&B, or ‘Urban Contemporary’. You’re not ‘Pop’. So, I kind of wanted to challenge artist and no-one gives a fuck. [Laughs] But, still.

HS: No, they do. I think the waves have changed, coming from people who are just doing it differently. I don’t think that’s necessarily defined on the side of the artist. People like you end up influencing people who love you, and who realise “Oh I want to make shit that sounds like that”. I think it makes a bigger impact than you maybe think it does. With the album, there’s so much of you in it; you’re pouring so much of yourself into it. Is there any point to even making music for you if you’re not just being honest, writing the truth, and being vulnerable and stuff? I know for me, there’s not really anything that appeals to me about just writing songs, just to have them be ‘good’ songs. I need them to mean something to me, you know? SL: Right, one hundred percent.

HS: From the album, I’m assuming you feel the same way? It’s so personal…

SL: Oh yeah, oh yeah. it’s been cool for me, to see it, because I don’t look for acclaim. So when people ask me how the album’s doing, I’m like “I don’t know”; I’ve got to see people react to it for me to know. But the tour’s been showing me that it’s been doing what it’s supposed to be.

HS: You put [architect and designer] Verner Panton’s Living Tower as the cover… What was it that made you go: “I want this to be the cover of my record”?

SL: I think I found his rooms online, and I really loved his builds, and his architecture. How he would do these rooms — the colour palette. Then my friend got me his book for Christmas, and I look at that and was like: “Fuck. I probably can’t find any of these rooms, but i can probably get that chair!” So, we managed to get one, and we shot with it.

HS: Do you still have it?

SL: Yeah, it’s in my house now. It’s in my room, by the window. And it’s really nice.

HS: And why did you want to call it Apollo XXI?

SL: I wanted the number 21 in there, because it was coming out on my 21st birthday. And then I was just thinking of words that could go in front of the 21. I couldn’t just do 21 because, you know, Adele, she already ran that one. So I was just being a little brazen there. I was just thinking of little phrases, something I could just put in front of it. And “Apollo” popped up in my head. Someone told me to look up Apollo, and the Greek god popped up. I connected a lot with that, and I just ran with it. It sounded good together.

HS: In terms of the subject, how — especially being in America right now — does the politics influence you when you’re writing? Do you ever feel like you should be being political, or do you feel completely opposite, that you shouldn’t, or you just don’t want to be political? How does it affect you in terms of what you’re making?

SL: I think there’s different ways to be political.

HS: Yeah, I would have to agree with that.

SL: I don’t think you have to necessarily be an activist to be political. […] I think me being my free self is a political statement.

HS: Yeah. Especially coming out of a collective and then going on your own, I think people then want to know what you think, rather than knowing what a band thought. What are some of the props and cons of moving more into the solo stuff from working on band albums? Obviously the creative process is way different, then the touring is way different. It's almost like a whole different job in a lot of ways. What’s your favourite thing about it, and what’s something you don’t like about it as much?

SL: Um… I think my favourite thing about it is that I’m in full control. I guess I had to ease into that, because I got super used to being the guy in the back, you know? And that was cool — I got used to that. But learning to be a boss is pretty fun, I think [laughs]. When you’re in a band, everyone compromises for whoever, for each other, for everybody. So I guess my favourite part is not having that compromise, and doing all the crazy shit, and funny stuff I want to do. Yeah. I think that’s the best part.

HS: want to ask you about a couple other people for a second. You’ve got Kari faux and Alima Lee [on tour]; Alima filmed a bunch of stuff with me in the studio.

SL: Oh really!?

HS: Yeah, she’s so great.

SL: Oh shit — that’s crazy! I love her. Wow. Small world. That’s insane.

HS: What about them made you choose them? Did you know them beforehand? How did it come about?

SL: Yeah, I knew them before. Alima’s one of my favourite DJ’s, and I didn’t want a band for this tour. So I asked Alima, like: “Hey, I got a proposal, would you be down?” And then we started rehearsing, and out chemistry was great. She kind of saved the tour, to be honest [laughs]. And then Kari, she’s just one of my best friends. I wanted to bring her with me. It’s been great. We have such a good team, and it feels so good. Everyone’s having a good time, and yeah. It’s a really nice tour, man.

HS: And how was it working with Solange on When I Get Home?

SL: Oh, that was cool. She’s cool. Real big sister vibe. I came in as a stranger, and we spoke about music, and then just found our friendship from there. And yeah, it’s been cool ever since. She’s very nice.

HS: How do you find it working in someone else’s realm? In some ways, does it feel like a band thing, when you’re working on someone else’s thing?

SL: Kind of, yeah. It’s like you’re starting a new band with someone every time. I think that’s how it feels the most comfortable. I was talking to [producer] Raphael Saadiq about that, and he told me a line that he says to people when he’s producing is “I’m in your band now.” He says it helps people feel comfortable. Yeah. I like that one-liner.

HS: That’s a good one. How was working with Ravyn?

SL: Ravyn? Oh, sick! She’s like a little young, fairy goddess when it comes to singing. It’s crazy. I brought her out in Chicago with me, because that’s her hometown. I was like: “Yo, we have to perform these songs here.”

HS: How did you guys meet?

SL: We met on the internet. A couple of people had been telling me to mess with her. And then one day, I went driving, and I played her EP — at the time it was called Midnight Moonlight. I thought: “Holy shit”; her vocal production really flipped me out. And I hit up immediately like: “Hey. We have to do something together.” Initially I wanted to start a dup with her, but her label situation is interesting, so it had to be her project.

HS: Right. What are you listening to right now? What are three things you love?

SL: Okay, I can give you some songs. This song I’ve been loving is “You’re A Runaway” by The Bucketheads. It’s a really nice little house track. “She Live” by Maxo Kream with Megan Thee Stallion [laughs] — that’s a good one. A lot of my new demos I’ve been listening to... Oh! “Terrorize My Heart (Disco Dub)” by 795. That’s a good one. Was that three?

HS: Yeah! And then, a book that you’ve read anytime recently that you would recommend to anyone?

SL: Oh, yes! I left it in the hotel room. It’s a Murakami book, I’m trying to get them to ship it to my next hotel room. I think it’s... A Wild Sheep Chase?

HS: Oh yep. It is! Have you read any more Murakami things?

SL: No, I haven’t. My friends gave it to me before I left.

HS: He’s one of my favourites.

SL: Yeah I’m trying to get into it. My attention span is shorter than my haircut right now.

HS: He did one called What I Talk About When I Talk about Running, which is kind of short and fun — wether you like running or not. It’s just so good. And then Norwegian Wood is my favourite. That was like, the book that got me into reading. That made me enjoy it the most.

SL: Woah. Okay, cool.

HS: Anyway, just to add mate, I love the album. And I listen to it a lot. It’s wonderful to listen to someone doing something so great. Everyone loves it, and it’s really interesting, and dynamic, and deep, and true. It’s amazing art, man. It’s very cool to listen to people just doing what they want to do. And you can tell that you love it, and you’ve obviously put so much into it. So thanks for making it.

SL: Oh, thank you! I appreciate it. I’m glad it got to you, man.

HS: I’m glad to do this, it’s fun. My final question is, what makes a good loafer?

SL: What makes a good loafer?

HS: What makes a good loafer.

SL: Are you saying “loafer”, or “lover”?

HS: Loafer. I mean, you can tell me what makes a good lover as well, but loafer. That’s the question. I always ask this because I know everyone’s answer will be slightly different, and I know you like a loafer.

SL: Loafer…. I think a good loafer is about… the shape. The shape of the loafer, for one. And then I think the sole is very important too. I don’t like a loafer with too thin of a sole. But I like a nice loafer that’s not too sharp at the tip. It’s kinda square, but it’s kinda round, as it’s square.

HS: What about the tassel?

SL: Um. I haven't eased into the tassel. I think that's too much of an uncle zone for me. I'm already an uncle as it is, so I keep the tassel to the other dudes.

HS: I'm not an uncle, and I do the tassel.

SL: Okay! l love the tassel, but I'm not ready for that.

HS: It's so good, man. It's fun. It's definitely fun. You should try it.

SL: When you're dancing, do you, like, kick out and it moves?

HS: Yeah, it moves. It flaps. It adds a whole new dimension to the shoe.

SL: That’s pretty sick.

HS: Yeah, it is [laughs]. oKAY, SO. A thick sole, squared at the top, not too sharp on the tip. That’s your go-to loafer. You heard it here first: Man About Town.

SL: And the colour too. The colour’s great.

HS: Of course. Thanks, man. Thanks for having me. And I’ll see you.. somewhere down the road. I’ll see you in LA or something.

SL: Yeah! I’ll hit you.

HS: Take care.

#interviewerharry #harry styles #steve lacy #nov19 #quote

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lobster-tales · 3 years

Text

Falling Back in Love With You

Chapter 3 Summary: Link and Mipha travel to Rito House, intending to pick up their representative from the archery club. Revali, however, proves to be a problem.

This work is available here on AO3. Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Link switched on the radio, not to disrupt the comfortable silence between Mipha and him, but to enhance it. Rhoam always left a blues album in the CD player. The van rolled past empty halls and dormitories, vacant fields and courts. Very few students stayed at the university through the weekend.

When they reached the edge of campus, Mipha asked, “Did you have fun last night?”

Link shrugged, casting her a clueless look.

“You don’t know?” Her eyes widened. “Oh, you don’t remember?”

He shook his head.

Concern entered Mipha’s voice. “I didn’t realize you drank that much… Do you even remember when I was there?”

Link pinched his fingers together, a small gap between.

“How much? Do you remember that game we played? With the cards?”

He nodded.

“Do you remember…” She let out a slight chuckle. “When we got the card where everyone has to drink while holding hands?”

Link smiled to himself, recalling the group’s laughter, someone spilling soda on their shirt.

“And… After everyone else put their hands down, you still held my hand?”

His blood froze. Link kept his eyes forward, tracing the details in his mind. He hoped to find something else, something easier to explain. Now that she mentioned it, though, he did remember. Mipha’s hands were small and cold, and he was warm from the punch.

She sensed the change and bit back her disappointment. Mipha gazed out the window instead, watching the neighborhood pass by. The van turned into Rito Street, and she knew she was running out of private time.

“I know… I’m not sure…” Mipha tried to put her feelings into words. “I just wanted you to know that I… I liked it. I liked holding your hand. Whatever it meant, or even if it meant nothing at all.”

Link tried not to react, but he knew his uncertainty was on full display.

Mipha steeled herself. “I guess… if it’s not too much, I wanted to ask you something?”

His curiosity got the better of him, and Link glanced her way.

“I’ve… wanted to ask you for a while now.”

The navigation app beeped on Link’s phone, alerting that they were at their destination. He pulled alongside a blue house, putting the van in park. The action startled Mipha.

“Oh, we’re here.” She straightened in her seat, reminded of the task at hand. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up now. I’ll wait until after the budget proposal.” Her thin red lips pulled into a smile. “Come on; let’s go find Revali.”

A broad-shouldered man perched on the front step of the blue house. His intimidating presence was offset by the accordion in his hands, his bright blue mohawk, and the easy look he gave the two of them. “Hey Link, hey Mipha,” he said, the instrument sighing between his fingers.

Before Link could wonder if this was Revali, Mipha said, “Good morning, Kass. How was your show last night?”

“It was great, thanks for asking. Blew the roof off of ole Rito House.” He indicated the blue building behind him.

Link felt memories flicker. He remembered how the building’s facade looked at night. The front door was opened only for performers, while the rest of the crowd gathered in the backyard.

Kass’s heavy eyeliner crinkled as he smiled. “What can I do for you?”.

“We’re looking for Revali,” Mipha said. “It’s a sports club thing.”

“On a Saturday?” Kass lifted his chin towards Link. “Aren’t you hungover?”

Link nodded bashfully, then pointed his index and middle fingers forward. He pivoted them up and down towards Kass.

“And you’re in a rush?” Kass shook his head. “What a day. Well, come on. I doubt he’s awake. Hang out while I check his room.”

Footprints from the night before were still visible on the ancient wooden floor, tacky where drinks had spilled. Link’s gaze traveled over the furniture, decorated by stains and red plastic cups.

“He’s not in his bed,” Kass said, reappearing at a hallway’s entrance.

“What?” Mipha asked, frowning. “Like he’s not here?”

“Well, not in the house,” said Kass, unbothered. He made for the back door, waving them through.

The backyard was similarly dirty. In one corner of the yard, an abandoned workshed sat with rusty tools inside. The other corner held an unused child’s playset, the wood just beginning to rot. The structure had a plastic yellow slide, two low swings, and a ladder that led to the covered platform in the center. Inside the playset, a body slept soundly, obscured from view by a pile of blankets.

“There he is!” Kass was the first to step forward, clearing his throat. “Revali?” He took hold of one of Revali’s legs, sticking out over the edge of the wood.

Like a snail, Revali withdrew the limb, curling into the fetal position as he growled, “Go away.”

Kass shook his head fondly. “Your friends are here to pick you up.”

Mipha asked, “Did you get Zelda’s texts?”

“Her what?” he grumbled, still hidden from view.

“We have to go to the school.”

“But it’s Saturday.”

“Yes, I know,” Mipha said patiently. “But Ganon changed the meeting. We have to go today.”

Revali rolled over to face them, his dramatic eyebrows and angular nose visible beneath the blanket. “And that’s my problem?”

At the sight of Revali’s features, memories flooded back to Link.

Link and Zelda joined the throng of students in the backyard of Rito House. They lingered on the outskirts of the group, apprehensive. Link’s mind was still fuzzy from the punch at the lifeguard apartment, and Zelda felt out of her comfort zone amongst the partygoers. A few people waved and some even approached her to talk. Link discovered that several were in the student council under Zelda’s leadership, and others knew her from classes or from the sports clubs.

“Princess, welcome!”

Zelda winced and turned to face a student wearing a light blue scarf, his navy hair wind blown on top and gathered into short braids at the nape of his neck. “Please don’t call me that, Revali,” she said.

Revali cocked an eyebrow. “My apologies, but you are the student council president, not to mention the daughter of the dean, therefore-”

“Ex-dean,” Zelda corrected sharply, her fists clenching.

Sensing he had gone too far, Revali backed off. “Very well, then I shall stick to ‘my lady’.” His green eyes settled on Link, mouth curling. “And I see you brought your bodyguard.”

“Link is my friend,” Zelda said. “You remember him from the fencing club?”

“Of course,” Revali said, circling them with one hand on his chin. “You know, some would argue that fencers are the natural rivals of archers such as myself.”

“What?” Zelda asked, exasperated. “Who would argue that?”

“Like I said, my lady,” Revali took his place in front of them, peering over his shoulder. He lifted his arms to each side, showing off his muscles beneath his sleeveless turtleneck. “Some.”

Zelda rolled her eyes. “We’re all part of the sports club program, Revali. None of us are rivals.”

“Indeed,” he sighed. “However, it’s no secret that anyone can swing a little sword around. But it takes true skill and precision to fire an arrow, to pierce a target directly in the center.”

Link huffed, insulted by Revali’s coarse description of fencing. Zelda saw his expression change and said, “Fencing takes skill and precision too.”

“Oh please,” Revali scoffed. “Fencing is a brutish and violent sport. All of their members just want an excuse to beat on each other with weapons for hours at a time.” He raised his head high. “But archery is only for those with a refined taste, my lady. In fact, I wouldn’t debase it so much as to call it a sport; it’s more of an art.” He smirked at Zelda. “You know, my lady, we could use an elegant palette such as yours among our ranks.”

Zelda’s annoyance melted away, and she smirked at Revali. “Actually, I’m already a member of a club.”

Revali froze, looking between the two of them. “Oh? Perhaps volleyball, with Lady Urbosa?”

“Nope.” Zelda crossed her arms, triumphant. “Something more brutish and violent.”

Link stifled a laugh, but Revali was unamused. He pursed his lips, bowing his head in surrender. “Well perhaps… not every fencer is…”

A voice interrupted from the back porch, saving Revali from further embarrassment. “Kass is on in five!”

Zelda took Link’s hand and led him towards the back door, calling back to Revali, “See you after the show!”

They entered the crowded living room, one side of which had been cleared out to make space for the stage. Once they had picked a spot along the wall, Zelda collapsed into giggles. “Oh, that was priceless! What a-” She stopped, and found more tactful words. “I mean… Don’t get me wrong, he can be cool, but he’s just so... eccentric.”

Link grinned. He knew her well enough to understand her real meaning, and he agreed. Zelda stifled another laugh and said, “I’m going to find a restroom. Wait here for me?”

He nodded, and she disappeared into the crowd. Link stood alone against the edge of the room, watching Kass tune his accordion through the wall of bodies.

A voice hissed in Link’s ear. “You think you’re so clever, swordsman.”

Link jolted and met Revali’s piercing gaze. The archer narrowed his eyes. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you strut about, acting like you’re better than me. You may have Lady Zelda fooled, but I see right through you.” The corner of his mouth twitched. “So, what do you say we settle this? Once and for all? I have a bottle of rum in the cabinet; I can secure us some shot glasses from the house owners.” Revali stuck out his hand. “How about it, swordsman? Do you accept my challenge?”

Link paused. He had never competed in a drinking contest before, and was unsure of how much alcohol he could handle. The other, and perhaps the most pressing concern, was how Zelda would react once she found out.

Revali sneered at his indecision. “Ah, so you are a coward. I figured as much.”

Then again, Revali had relentlessly insulted his passion, and Link found that he couldn’t turn down an opportunity to put him in his place. Just as Kass began the first song, Link grasped Revali’s hand.

“Yes, Revali, because it affects your club,” Mipha said.

Link blinked back the thoughts, focusing on their exchange.

“Just like it affects the fencing club,” she said, indicating Link. “And the swimming club,” she pointed to herself. “And all of us. If Zelda doesn’t have any sport club members there, then the budget proposal gets rejected. That means no new bows, arrows, gear, anything. The practice gyms-”

“The archery club doesn’t use the practice gyms,” Revali scoffed. “We have to go off campus. Our gear still works, and if anyone wants something new, they can buy it themselves.”

Mipha’s mouth curled into a rare sneer. “Revali, this is important. Just come with us.”

“Nope.” Revali rolled over once more, pulling the blanket tight around his body.

Link, Mipha, and Kass exchanged glances. Kass shrugged helplessly. “Maybe you can ask someone from a different club?”

“On such short notice?” Mipha’s shoulders lowered in defeat, and she pulled out her cellphone. “I could ask my friend from the sailing club… If she left now, then maybe she’d make it on time.”

Time. Link removed his own phone to check. 11:20.

Whoa. How did that happen? He glanced at Mipha, who was still scrolling through her contacts. We don’t have time for this.

Link examined the playset. He nudged Kass, pointing to the slide. A grin spread across Kass’s features and he nodded in approval. He moved into position as Link climbed onto the playset, standing over Revali.

Still wrapped in blankets, Revali glared up at Link. “What do you think you’re- Aahh!”

Link shoved Revali’s body through the opening that led to the slide. Unable to stop his descent, Revali fell into Kass’s arms. Kass hoisted him over his shoulder, shooting Link a thumbs up with his free hand.

Revali protested loudly and without dignity. Kass hauled him through the fence gate, then tossed him into the backseat of the van. Suppressing a chuckle, Kass winked at Link and Mipha. “Just bring him back here when you’re done. My kids are at a sleepover, so I’ll still be around.” He moved back to his position on the front porch step, picking up his accordion once more as he called, “Oh, and good luck!”

#loz #botw #loz fic #link #zelda #mipha #revali #my fic #commission

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purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

1111

Something a little bit random and silly for my 1111th, just because.

survey by joybucket

List three things you love that start with each letter.

A: Art and most forms of it; anchovies, in most cases; and Angela.

B: Burgers, Beyoncé, and buffets.

E: Escargot, the name Eloise, and elephants.

F: FISH, Friends, and some folk indie.

S: Sleeping, signing off work at the end of my shift, and all kinds of seafood.

T: I’m obsessed with tteokbokki; trying out new food; and table tennis.

Q: I like the quiet time I occasionally give myself; quail eggs, especially in the form of kwek-kwek; and quattro formaggi pizza.

R: Rainbows, the rain, and riding planes.

O: Old movies, the ocean, and Okinawa milk tea.

List a phrase including an adjective, noun, and verb for each letter. Examples: "angry artist anticipating", "rude rascals running", "dirty dogs dancing", or "empty elephants eloping." Have fun!

A: Adorable animals appearing.

F: Fabulous fingers frolicking.

C; Chummy classmates cooking.

S: Suspicious self salivating.

R: Rambunctious raccoon running.

T: Tired turnip tumbling.

Q; Questioning quail quipping.

J: Joyful joggers jamming.

I: Inquisitive igloos imagining.

L: Luxurious lemonade luminescing.

Z: Zesty zebras zoning out.

E: Ethereal eagles embracing.

List three different occupations starting with each letter.

O: Orthodontist, oceanographer, opthalmologist.

E: Engineer, equestrienne, elementary school teacher.

F: Firefighter, flight attendant, farmer.

S: Scientist, singer, seamstress.

T: Talent agent, tricycle driver, tennis player.

I: Illustrator, inspector, IT technician.

E: Economist, editor, electrician.

L: Lawyer, librarian, lifeguard.

A: Accountant, actor, architect.

Y: Yoga instructor, youth pastor, yogurt maker?? if that counts, lol. Otherwise I got nothing else.

List three adjectives that begin with each letter.

A: Affable, abrupt, adequate.

B: Broken, blunt, bleary.

C: Crazy, clear, clingy.

D: Daunting, delirious, dark.

E: Existential, enraged, exemplary.

F: Fantastic, far-flung, flavorful.

G: Ghastly, gentle, gigantic.

H: Harrowing, healthy, hopeful.

I: Intelligent, identical, impervious.

J: Jovial, jaded, joyous.

List three nouns that being with each letter.

K: Kangaroo, keychain, kiwi.

L: Lemonade the album, lemon the fruit, and Liz Lemon.

M: Mall, maple syrup, and mop.

N: Nightingale, nest, napkin.

O: Ogre, olive, orange.

P: Piano, panini, and pizza.

Q: Queen, quill, quilt.

List three verbs that begin with each letter.

R: Running, raking, reliving.

S: Singing, sailing, surfing.

T: Tricking, tossing, teeming.

U: Understanding, urging, unwrapping.

V: Villifying, venerating, vaccinating - get vaccinated, folks.

W: Wandering, washing, wriggling.

X: I don’t know if there are any and I can’t bother to look it up.

Y: Yawning, yelling, yearning.

Z: Zipping, ziplining, zapping.

List three...

girl's names you love: Olivia, Mia, Emma.

boy’s names you love: Mason, Jacob, Lucas.

girl’s names you dislike: Karen, and our local versions of Karen, Marites and Marivic.

boy’s names you dislike: Chad, times three.

things you hate about summer things you hate about winter things you hate about spring things you hate about fall things you love about spring things you love about winter things you love about fall things you love about summer Crossing these out because my Southeast Asian ass can’t relate, but if you do decide to take this survey feel free to un-strikethrough them!

things you miss from your past: Having more freedom to make mistakes; not having to worry about the future; and friends I’ve since lost.

people who have really hurt you in the past: Gabie, my mom, Marielle.

names of people you have had crushes on: Gabie, Andi from 5th grade...and that’s it, really.

names of people you have gone on a date with: Only Gabie. And I guess maybe Mike? Since he asked me to go with him to his ball as his date.

places you've been and would love to go again: Sagada, Jeju, Bali.

places you want to visit before you die: Morocco, Spain, Thailand.

items on your bucket list: See Times Square, live in a condo, plan a solo trip.

health conditions you have: Scoliosis, lactose intolerance, and very possible depression.

health conditions you've had in the past but don't anymore: Dehydration, UTI, and some kind of weird low-platelet-count thing that was just that, and never diagnosed as anything.

things you are allergic to: Possibly some types of grass, and maybe face masks. Idk how to confirm it really; I just know my skin gets irritated around them sometimes.

youtube channels you love to watch: Good Mythical Morning; the KBS YouTube channel mainly for clips of Return of Superman and 2 Days 1 Night; and Binging With Babish.

favorite drinks: Water, coffee, Long Island Iced Tea.

favorite foods: Sushi, chicken wings, pizza.

favorite desserts: Cheesecake, MACARONS, cupcakes.

favorite holidays: The only one I care for and get super excited about is my birthday, if that counts. Christmas is fine, but I only get the excitement for it on the actual day itself.

favorite colors: Pastel pink, white, maroon.

people you would like to meet: Ysa and Bea, my teammates at work. I’ve met them only once before, and I wish we can be allowed to report to the workplace physically soon so that I get to see them more often and strengthen my relationship (both working and personal) with them. I’d also love to be able to chat and chill with Hayley Williams even for just 30 seconds.

people you want to meet in Heaven: I don’t believe in that, but I’d love to have met my great-grandfather on my maternal grandfather’s side. Also, Audrey Hepburn and Princess Diana.

good names for a dog or cat: Depends on their personality.

reasons why you get up each morning and keep on living: Because I’ve been able to see myself get better, and why stop all the progress?; because I’d want to be able see if the future will get better; and because I’m afraid of what will happen to/who will look out for my dogs if I’m suddenly gone.

For each name, think of three people you know with that name, and list their occupations.

Amanda: I only know one Amanda, and she’s a friend of my ex’s younger sister. She’s only in senior year of high school. I know an Amandine which is close enough I suppose?? and she’s a dentistry student.

Sarah: She’s a media contact and I’m constantly in touch with; she’s the editor-in-chief of a local magazine. I think she’s the only Sarah I know.

Ashley: Also a media contact. I’m not sure about her title, though.

Beth: @bionic-beth is a teacher! :) But I don’t know any Beths in real life, I think.

Katie: Well I know Kate, and I’ll sometimes playfully call her Katie. She works in a government agency and she’s one of their PR people. The HR person who recruited me to come work at my current employer is a Kate, but I have never and have no plans to call her Katie.

Matt: That’s too foreign-sounding a name where I live.

Emily: Don’t know any Emilys, either.

Chris: Media contacts. They run blogs or news sites of their own.

Mike/Michael: The one Mike I know is currently a med student. Not sure if he’s working on the side - I think he is, since I saw him post about a job update on his Facebook a few months ago; but I can no longer remember what he does, or if he’s still doing it.

Jessica: I went to high school with a girl named Jessica but I don’t follow her on social media, so I have no clue what she’s up to now.

Becca/Bekah: Rita’s sister is a Becca. I think she is currently a grad student.

For each name, think of three people you know, and list one adjective to describe each person. (Skip if you don't know anyone with that name.)

Laura

Michelle: Hilarious.

Victoria: Strong.

Tessa: Friendly.

John

Claire: Influential; motherly.

Briana/Brianna: Bitch.

Vanessa

Brittany/Britney, etc.

Allison/Allie/Ally, etc: Kind.

Olivia

Jordan

Jo/Joe: Ambitious; pretty.

Corey/Kori

Sophie: Sweet; quiet.

Mitch/Mitchell: Tall.

Madison/Maddie/Maddi

Out of all the people you know or have met, list three...

redheads: Yeah, you’re not going to find them in most of Asia. West Asia and some parts of East Asia, probably, but definitely not for the rest.

tall people: Jo, Chesca, and Shaun.

people with really curly hair: I know Kleo has naturally curly hair from her Aeta roots, but it’s been straightened for a very long time now. I think Chesca also has curly hair, albeit slightly. There is also Liana.

sets of twins: My sister had two sets of twins in her high school batch, but I can no longer remember their names. I also had an English class with a pair of twins named Ardy and Thirdy.

of the cutest babies you've seen on social media: My workmate’s baby. My friend Jar has a super squishy niece/nephew pair of twins as well.

people you miss: Angela, Kate, my grandpa.

people with beautiful eyes: I can only think of my ex.

people with nice hair: God I have not been around people for so long, I can barely think of anyone for this.

people who are the same height as you: Aya, Hannah, Tina.

own one of the same clothing items as you: Angela since we went to the same high school and have several of the same school shirts; Laurice since we share a college org and we have our own trademark polo shirt; and my brother and I have our own pairs of Nike Cortez shoes.

make you laugh: Andi, Hans, and this girl I had a couple of history classes with, Rose.

List three celebrities who...

are the same height as you: Lady Gaga and AJ Lee are the only ones who are coming to mind. I wouldn’t call AJ a celebrity though.

have the same hair color as you: Mila Kunis, Kelly Rowland, Dita Von Teese.

look like you: Only based on comments I’ve gotten in the past and not because I necessarily claim these for myself, Lucy Hale, Anna Akana, and Kakie.

List three....

adjectives to describe you: Timid, stubborn, sensitive.

academic courses you enjoyed: Philippine social history, international relations, anthropology.

words you always forget how to spell: Rhythm, committee, accommodate.

things you wish you were better at: Singing, dancing, drawing.

things you are really good at: Writing, reading people, and knowing the best things to order at most restaurants hahahah.

jobs you'd like to have: Ideally, a lawyer or doctor. But realistically, I’d love to have a leadership position in the PR sphere.

jobs you've considered having: ^ Again, lawyer and doctor. Also a journalist or news anchor, back when I still thought I was passionate about journalism.

jobs you'd hate: Journalist, an LTO clerk, an assistant to an asshole celebrity.

things you miss: Being a student, many parts of the past, and deceased family members.

names your mom considered when naming you: Ariel, Kathleen, Katrina.

things people call you: Robyn, Byn, Bynbyn.

*Bonus*: what is your name? (first and middle)? I always feel like just sharing Robyn.

#survey #surveys

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twowivestwoknives · 4 years

Note

Album thing:

I want more mce onions so three cheers for sweet revenge pls

oh Hell yeah aighty here we go: Revenge, best to worst as deemed by this bitch (me)

1. Cemetery Drive

I’m completely bias as it’s one of my all time favourite MCR songs BUT i have a reason. Revenge is a song known for it’s roughness and it doesn’t do the merging of soft and hard together as well as the band grows to be able to do (see Sleep or Save Yourself later on). Cemetery Drive is really the song on the album that marries the emotional intensity and desperation the band has been known for up to this point with the utilization of musical stylings that stand out from the rest of the tracks but still sound distinctly My Chem. It’s the Halos of Revenge and I fucking adore it. Plus lyrically? Fucking poetry 2. Hang ‘Em High This Song Fucks. It’s lyrically all over the place but terrifying and you can tell Gerard believes every word in how they sing it even if he has no clue what it means. It’s all the theatrical, violent drama the band is known for, and it in my opinion epitomizes Revenge as an album. Which is a big statement especially with songs like Venom and Helena on it, but I think it touches on all of the thematic cores (rebirth, being hunted to death, dead women, catholic guilt, murder), and I think as a “scene” of a song, as the album is concept, it really frames the frenzy someone who’s rolling with the punches of coerced serial murder would be going through. Plus murder goth cowboys. Woohoo. 3. It’s Not A Fashion Statement, It’s a Fucking Deathwish One of the most impressive opening lines of any song I’ve heard in my 25 years. It earns the spot in top three just for “For what you did to me! For what I’ll do to you! You get what everyone else gets....you get a lifetime!” Way to make a lyric sound like a prayer and a threat in the same breath. From there on it’s just a banger. A drag race of an MCR song that does 3 more laps than you’d ever expected to. Really embraces the energy MCR has in it’s speed, and not afraid to use a major sound here or there. 4. Helena It’s super weird for me to put a release this high on the list but Helena holds up as one of the most beautiful songs of the mid oughts. It shows “revenge” for what it is thematically on the album, a revenge on death. That is the running theme. i saw someone say Bullets is Gerard being terrified of death, Revenge is them being pissed about it, Parade is an acceptance of it, and Danger Days is a preoccupation with after-life in the form of memorium. Helena is also musically so outfield for the band at this point that really for the innovation gets it put here. The music video is also one of the most beautiful and aesthetically pleasing videos of all time imho.

5. To The End

You gotta love an anti capitalist homoerotic murder mansion anthem. I also believe the plot of this song was based off a book of the same name? Cuz Gerard really loves their cultural references. This song is so fun and hauntingly beautiful and I would Not want to be at this houseparty. Bonus points for the explicit gay lyrics and also Ray’s harmonies. That man has a voice of gold my lord. 6. The Jetset Life Is Going to Kill You I don’t know if this will make sense outside of my own brain but Jetset is what Prison could’ve been. Like Jetset is beautiful and haunting and absolutely about things that are not PG or even PC these days to talk about, but it weaves the themes so deftly with the music that it just works. Also did anyone else see that Sims2 youtube video of Jetset where Gerard was like...a secret ghost murderer of abusive boyfriends? No? Just me and my 6th grade class that I forced to watch it for show and tell? Cool. 7. Give ‘Em Hell, Kid This song just straight up fucks. I feel like it hones a lot of what MCR’s vibe was in revenge era (though I was still a little young for them at that time, I came into the band when I was 11 so that would be 06). It really does sum up the nonsensical metaphor, the hyper-drama, the almost drag levels of camp, the violence, the viscerality. Also points for a call forward lyrically to The Sharpest Lives. 8. I Never Told You What I Do For A Living This song is here because of the chorus, firstly, and the viscerality secondly. I scared the shit outta sixth grade teachers singing this one. But it is such a fun and interesting vocal line throughout the entire song and I’m a singer so I’m bias. Plus it’s such a phenomenal song to end the album just top tier. “The kinda dirty where the water never cleans off the clothes” is also just a to-the-core line 9. Thank You For The Venom Venom is actually a really good song, and I feel weird having it so low considering I have a tattoo from it. It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just that I guess the songs above I like more? Venom is absolutely a fan favourite so it might just be a case of I’ve heard it too much. Lyrically and musically very fist-fight gut-punch. Fight with glass shards stead of knives type vibe. It’s really interesting to listen to a song critiquing substance use and forced medication because I remember back in the oughts when everyone was so anti-meds (some for fair reasons and some for not), and just seeing a song that lays prescribed medication and self medication on the same table saying “either could kill me but I wont let it” is....that’s a cultural moment right there. 10. Ghost Of You The song is beautiful and that chorus is fucking gutwrenching, I’m just so incredibly not here for war music videos. Doubly not if it traumatizes people to film them? Like...no need to give the state more propoganda boys just let the song be pretty. 11. You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison? Okay this song had so much potential, and it was pretty fucking radical at the time not gonna lie. Rape analogies ain’t it. The song was really written from how I understand it to do the kinda stage-gay MCR was known for in the oughts. Hearing them talk about it, 2004 wasn’t a time homophobes were shy in hardcore, so songs like Prison paired with the stage antics made Homophobes...not wanna be there. Which gave them more space for the actual queers in the audience (and arguably on stage) to rock out without getting hate crimed. Also lyrically a lottta critiques of the prison system but yeah, coulda thought it through a bit more. We coulda had another Jetset but alas. 12. I’m Not Okay (I Promise) This song is fun as hell and you will catch me singing every word when it comes on. It’s only down here as it is just...a little underwhelming compared to the rest of the album. It’s fun and lyrically pressing and great to headbang to, but a lot of the rest of the album is more complex or intense in ways that I’m Not Okay just fails to fill out 13. Interlude Like it’s pretty but it absolutely sounds like a “we need 13 songs cuz frank said so” song. It’s filler.

#answered #mcr #revenge #sableyesmaw

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idkthisisjustforfanfic · 5 years

Text

AN: this is part of @always-jackedup‘s wonderful 25 days of summer! So excited to have written a fun piece alongside so many talented people! This story was so fun to write and I hope ya like it pals!!!

read my masterlist here

2.1k of surviving the Styles’ Family Reunion

_______

Harry didn’t know if there was anything he loved more than good food and the great outdoors--especially the garden behind his dad’s house where this year’s Styles Family Reunion was being held.

He’d long come to appreciate the time he spent in the countryside, surrounded by family members that he saw less and less as his life got busier and busier--but this year was different. While Harry was still filled with excitement to see his cousins and hilarious aunts and uncles, he was also filled to the brim with nerves.

With tours and albums and his time in the band, Harry had missed the last few cycles of the family reunion. He’d missed a trip in 2017 to Huddersfield to see his Gran and all of his cousins, and he was especially bitter to have missed last summer’s reunion, only because his sister had made it clear that she was now known as the Styles Family Limbo Champion.

“Will you just relax?” Gemma nudged him with her elbow, handing over a dish of sausage rolls as he stared out into the garden. “It’ll be fine, go put these on the table outside.”

He let out a huff of air, stepping into the sun as he walked to set the platter down beside the sticky-notes his dad’s girlfriend, Karen, had stuck to the table the night before in preparation. She’d been planning for weeks--grinning and excited both Gemma and Harry would be home in conjunction with the summer’s greatest event.

And Harry wasn’t nervous about the pressure to beat Gemma and the rest of his family--he was confident that his flexibility and competitive nature would serve him well. What he was really dreading, to be quite honest, was the fact that he was finally subjecting Y/N to the borderline verbal assault that she’d endure when all of his aunts got their hands on her.

Harry and Y/N had been dating for a few years--she’d met the usual players: Gemma, Anne, Robin, before he passed, his dad and Karen, even a few cousins along the way. He knew that she could handle herself--he knew that she had the poise and expertise it would take to dodge the questions of engagement and babies and the like.

He’d been seated on the bed upstairs, tapping his foot anxiously while Y/N finished getting dressed. Will just quit it, yeah? She’d said. Go find a way to get rid of the anxious energy before you stress me out.

So he’d wandered downstairs, offering to help Karen set up as his dad took some wipes to the garden furniture.

“Hey,” Michal, Gemma’s boyfriend, called for Harry’s attention now. “Help me move this, yeah?”

Harry walked to meet him at the hammock that was set up in the middle of the garden. Lifting from the knees as they walked it over and out the way.

“Gem said we’ll set up the limbo there when everyone’s had a few drinks.”

Harry let out a sarcastic laugh and rolled his eyes. “Great--getting her drunk will only make her more obnoxious if she wins.”

“You’re just jealous that you haven’t had a few years to practice,” Y/N said with a smile, appearing on the patio. She held a hand up to shield her eyes from the sun, using her other hand to hold the glass door open for Gemma--who used both hands to balance another platter of food as she stepped into the garden.

“M’not jealous--and m’in great shape. Running around on stage is quite the workout,” Harry defended as they set the hammock down, he tugged at it a bit to make sure it was sturdy enough, wiping his hands on his pants as he turned to face them.

“Does falling on stage all the time count as a workout?” Gemma inquired, her face serious as Y/N stifled a giggle.

Harry made his way back to the patio--wrapping his arms around Y/N as he shot Gemma a dirty look. “Is this your scare tactic? Be enough of a brat to get in my head in hopes of taking the title?”

“No one really cares that much about limbo--just to be clear,” Michal said, eyeing Y/N as if to ask what they’d gotten themselves into.

Harry was two drinks and three sausage rolls deep when he nearly choked on his food out of shock. Everything had been nice--quiet and lovely as his aunts and uncles caught up, cousins took funny pictures, his dad seemed to be more than pleased to have everyone in one place.

Despite the good nature of his family, Harry couldn’t believe how little time it took for his aunts to start in on their questions---Y/N stood in front of them like a deer in headlights.

“Settling down soon, love?” Harry’s Aunt Joanne asked her as she took a sip of her hard cider. Could his aunts not control themselves for once? Harry would have preferred--honestly--if they’d just asked him. That way he didn’t have to watch Y/N be subjected to such questioning.

Luckily, after making quick eye contact with Harry--she let out a laugh. “No major plans right now. I think your nephew’s a bit focused on the upcoming album and tour.”

“‘Course he is--such a hard worker,” his uncle chimed in, watching as Y/N let out a laugh. While Harry’s aunt and uncle might not have known that he was listening to every work of their conversation, Y/N was certainly aware that Harry was hanging on every word.

“Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if he pops the question soon--s’been how long, again, love?”

Harry smacked his own forehead in disbelief--his gran seemed to tilt her head in confusion. “Everything alright?” She asked, leaning forward to place a hand on Harry’s arm in concern.

“Yeah,” Harry looked up suddenly, slightly embarrassed that he’d been caught. “Was a bug, that’s all,” he looked around the air between them, as if he was still on the hunt for the winged-pest.

“Three years,” Y/N answered the question, trying to focus on the conversation in front of her rather than the emotional distress her boyfriend was clearly in. Y/N couldn’t help but think it was funny how stressed he got in situations like these. Sure--she understood that he liked his privacy, but his aunts were just curious and maybe, just maybe, Y/N was also wondering the same thing. They’d talked about engagement--they’d talked about moving in together and taking those next steps. But things seemed to get in the way, which only led to a guilty Harry hanging his head every the topic came up in the presence of others.

First it was the movie. Then Y/N got a promotion. Then it was the album, then tour. Now--they’d fallen into a happy pattern of Y/N spending most nights at Harry’s house unless he was out of town. Then she’s head back to her flat with her two roommates.

Y/N knew it was out of his control, at least to some degree. She wasn’t mad--Harry knew that. But he often wondered if she ever felt forgotten or pushed aside. Harry’s other aunt, Mary, had seemed to make her way over to join in the fun.

“Any talk of babies?” She asked, her accent thick as Y/N’s brows shot North.

“Pass the pork pie, please?” Harry nearly shouted--loud enough to get everyone’s attention on in the garden as he was met with concerned and confused gazes. Y/N, who turned to face him with a questioning look, only seemed to laugh when Harry stammered a bit. “Sorry--just, really, really hungry.”

Though she was thankful for the distraction and the cover from her anxious boyfriend, Y/N could only shake her head in amusement as his Gran reached across the table to hand him the pie. “Growing boy--that’s all, have two slices, Harry, dear.”

Limbo wasn’t a team sport--but that didn’t stop Harry from getting incredibly loud and supportive when anyone but Gemma was having their turn.

“Yeah, Michal, come on--low to the ground, bend your knees,” Harry seemed to coach him through it (though flexibility certain wasn’t forte). Gemma--whose arms were crossed--seemed to look incredibly displeased with Harry’s sudden support for her boyfriend.

“M’not really a fan of this collusion,” she called from her spot in line. She stood behind Harry--watching as Michal seemed to just scrape by the pole. At the last second, his nose caught a piece of it and he was left to flop to the ground--letting out a groan on his way down.”

“Yeah--just relax, will you?” Y/N too sides, causing Harry to turn with a dramatic raise of his brows.

“I see where your allegiance lies,” he nearly spat out at her, gaining a laugh from Michal who rounded the garden to find his place on the sideline. They were separated by cousins now--all of whom were just as competitive as the two Styles siblings.

“No one is relaxing, Y/N,” Harry said sternly, holding a hand in the air as if to call attention to his speech. “This is serious.”

Michal seemed to roll his eyes as Y/N let out a laugh. Harry stepped forward, apparently satisfied with himself as he bent backwards to slip beneath the height of the pole. His arms seemed to flail by his side, he kept his chin tucked down to his chest to have a visual of his progress, and once he felt his chest knock into the limbo set up, he simply crumpled to the ground.

“Not so good at limbo, yeah?” Gemma teased from the behind Y/N, watching as Harry struggled to stand from the grass beneath him.

He rolled his eyes at his sister and walked to join Michal. “Isn’t there something about women being more flexible than men?”

Y/N--who seemed to blush as soon as a smirk crossed Michal’s face--was grateful for the swift response from Gemma.

“No one wants to hear from you, Harry. You’re out. Sit there and mind your own business as we show you how it’s done.”

And while Gemma made it another 13 rounds--rightfully earning the title of Limbo Champion, much to his dismay--Harry didn’t mind just sitting on the grass with Y/N and catching up with his cousins, hoping that she’d tag along to family reunions for as long as he lived.

“So--you survived your first reunion,” Gemma handed a plate to Y/N, who held a dish towel in her hands to dry whatever dishes came her way. The sun had set the Styles’ extended family had long shipped out.

Harry--who was busy placing leftover food into tupperware containers--brought his eyes up to smile at Y/N, though she didn’t see it.

“Just barely,” she laughed a little, raising her eyebrows at Gemma in gest. “You missed the grilling I endured from your lovely aunts.”

“Did Joanne get all up in your business?” Harry’s dad chirped from the door out to the garden, a shake of his head conveyed his displeasure. “God love her, but she can be so nosy.”

“Nosy is an understatement,” Gemma laughed, adjusting the faucet as she set another stack of plates in the sink.

“She asked about babies,” Y/N continued. “Asked about moving in, getting engaged.”

“Fair questions,” Gemma offered a smirk to Harry over her shoulder--who was now suddenly busy searching for the right lid, his lips pushed out as he eyed the array of them on the counter.

“Hmm--don’t ever know what you mean,” he mumbled, as if he wasn’t even listening to their conversation.

“He saved the day, actually,” Y/N joked, making a face at Harry--who looked up upon being praised.

“I did?”

“He did?” Gemma echoed his question, her lifted brows told Y/N that she couldn’t believe it.

“Asked for another serving of pork pie right as the question left her mouth. Not very sly, but it’s the effort that counts. Saved me from an awkward conversation, s’why I keep him around.”

Gemma rolled her eyes at her brother, handing Y/N another dish to dry. “Well don’t worry--you’ve got forever to answer their questions.”

Harry smiled--and when Y/N looked over at him, he dropped the Tupperware in his hands and walked to wrap his arms around her shoulders. “I’m glad you survived, love,” he kissed the top of her hair.

And that felt true. Y/N let a breath of air escape her lips as she set the dish down and then let her hands reach up to rest on Harry’s arms. Whether or not his aunts were nosy, she’d call today a success--based on survival alone.

She leaned her head back, letting their lips come together quickly before Harry went back to the Tupperware, his eyes serious as his eyebrows drew together. “But we’ve only got 364 days to start stretching. We’ve got to take the Limbo title next year.”

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sprnklersplashes · 4 years

Text

heart of stone (4/?)

AO3

Cady taps her spoon against the edge of her bowl, her feet just about touching the kitchen floor. This is the day she had been waiting impatiently for for weeks now, secretly wishing summer would pass faster so that school could start up again. She’s fully aware that she’s a minority, but she actually likes school. Maybe it’s because of her more-isolated home schooled life back in Africa, but it’s fun. Classes are far more interesting than what her parents could give her, despite their best efforts, and now that she’s mastered the skills (and learned a few lessons), socialising can be great. After a rocky ride last year, where people regarded her with confusion, then awe, and then disgust, being treated like an actual human being in the last fewweeks was kind of refreshing. It’s far from ideal, there are still far too many people who cast her dirty looks when they think she’s not looking and who believe she did things she didn’t do, but those looks were getting fewer and fewer as the days went on. She had started getting a few friendly smiles as she walked down the hall or through the cafeteria and even a few “hey theres”s from people who aren’t in her inner circle.

So all in all, she was excited to go back.

But now the day has come and the last place she wants to see is North Shore.

She swirls her cereal around in her bowl, her appetite gone despite her mother’s insistence that she eat. She hasn’t told her parents about Janis yet. How can she when she’s still trying to deal with it herself? One of her favourite things is logic, that’s why she likes maths so much, there’s always a logical answer, you just have to work out the equation to get it. But she can’t work out any equation for this.

“Cady honey, you better hurry up! You don’t want to be late for your first day, do you?” Her mom’s voice is the exact opposite of how Cady feels; bright and awake and rearing to go whereas all Cady wants is her bed and a Taylor Swift album. The sad one, obviously.

She checks herself in the hallway mirror, glad to see she at least looks normal. Her white shirt is tucked into her jeans, her sandals replaced with sneakers. She had spent a little bit of time debating last night and this morning before just tying her hair back in a messy braid. When she smiles, the girl in the mirror smiles back at her and it looks real; normal happy Cady on the way to school. Her eyes don’t betray the fact that she had sobbed into her pillow for thirty minutes last night. According to her face, all is right with the world. She looks like she still has a girlfriend and like she hasn’t spent every waking moment since last night trying to make sense of what’s happened.

“See you later, Mom!” she calls over her shoulder, lifting her jacket and backpack. If she’s quick, she can get out before-

“Oh wait!”

Nope.

“Cady!” her mom hurries down the hall, her mass of curls flying behind her like a flag and her phone clutched tightly in her hand. Cady groans inwardly, fully aware of what this means. “Just let me get one picture before you leave.”

“Mommy!”

“Just one!” she pleads, gesturing with her finger, her pink lips forming a pout. You’d think a pout on a fully grown woman would look ridiculous, and it does to an extent, but it also weakens Cady’s resolve. Her mom might be an over the top sentimental monster, but she’s her over the top sentimental monster and Cady’s certain that she’d regret it if she walked out the door without letting her take a picture.

Besides, the embarrassment’s a good distraction.

“Fine,” she sighs, shifting her backpack onto her shoulder and giving into the grin working its way onto her face. She flips the braid over her shoulder and straightens her back. “Just one.”

“Promise.” That’s what her mom says, however it’s soon shown to be false, because she’s not sure if that one took. Then she wants one landscape as well as portrait. And then she needs another one because she’s not sure if she likes the lighting in that one. Then another one because apparently Cady was blinking. With each press of the button, Cady’s patience wears thinner and thinner.

“Mommy, you know that a big part of the first day of school is actually going to school?” she asks.

“Oh all right, fine,” her mom agrees, putting the phone in her pocket. She presses her hands to her mouth and looks at Cady, her shoulders rising as she takes in a deep breath. Under the hallway light, she can see the beginning of tears in her mom’s eyes. Part of Cady thinks she should roll her eyes, but instead she holds out her hand and lets her mom take it, giving it a tight squeeze. When her mom covers Cady’s hand with hers, Cady feels a quick flash of nostalgia for her homeschooling days. It’s brief and tiny, but it is there. “You’re growing up so fast. How are you a senior already?”

“I know. It feels like I’ve only been in high school for a year.” It’s a bad joke, but they both laugh. Her mom lets go of her hand and grabs her shoulders instead, her grip firm but loving.

“Have a good day today,” she tells her, finally letting her go. Just as Cady is turning to go, she takes out the phone and begins looking through the pictures, sighing wistfully at each one. Cady shakes her head fondly, chuckling under her breath. Once she’s gone, she will no doubt run up to show them to her dad and then they can both reminisce over when Cady was tiny and needed their help to toddle down the dusty roads of their old home. Parents.

“If only you’d gotten Janis to walk in with you today,” her mom says absent-mindedly. “I’d have loved a photo of the two of you together. Maybe get her to come over tonight?”

And with that, her mom unknowingly shatters her good mood.

Cady swallows the lump in her throat, reaching for her jacket as a chill takes over her body.

“Maybe,” she whispers. She clears her throat and tries again. Maybe her mom will just think it’s allergies. “She might be busy tonight.”

So much for a distraction.

She listens to one of her favourite podcasts on the way to school. She tried music, but three songs in and she was already thinking about Janis more than she was at home. She doesn’t stop when she switches to the podcast, but the discussions about the baby lions and tigers are at least a comfort to her, reminding her of her old friends.

When she gets to school, she’s first greeted by familiar faces, people she wasn’t friends with but wasn’t enemies with either. They wave and say hi and some even ask how her summer was. Sophie Kawachi even flashes her a peace sign, which she reciprocates. Despite her rocky love life, she feels hope blossoming in her chest, not unlike the kind of hope she felt this time last year as she had bounced through the doors, but with a lot less naivete this time around. If she can fix this Janis situation quickly, maybe this year can actually be good all the way through.

“Cady!” She barely has time to register the voice before a pair of arms come around her from behind and a chin rests on her shoulder. Last year she’d have certainly been startled, and her assailant would possibly have ended up with a bruise on their cheek, but instead she giggles and leans into the embrace, breathing in the scent of strawberry lipgloss and watermelon body spray.

“Hi, Karen,” she says. Karen’s smile outshines the rhinestones on her jacket and her giggle puts a smile on Cady’s face that’s hard to wipe away. Since she’s too scared to brave homeroom just yet, she’s more than glad to see her. In any case, Karen’s great company to have around, especially when you’re sad.

“I missed you,” she says.

“You saw me a few days ago,” she reminds her, bumping her shoulder affectionately. “Are Regina and Gretchen in yet?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she says. Cady bites her lip. Sweet as Karen is, leaving her alone in the hallway is often asking for trouble. It wasn’t rare last year for her and Gretchen to have to go tracking the girl down because she’d wandered into the gym or the locker room or out to the courtyard because she wanted to see the flowers. “Regina said she’s running late. I sent her a baby chick emoji. Gretchen is meant to be here-”

And as if on cue, Gretchen appears in Cady’s vision, walking as quickly as her heels will allow and waving away Jason Weams’ attempted affection. Her eyes are wide and her mouth in a small ‘o’, an obvious sign on her nerves, but she eases when she spies Cady.

“Hey,” she says, sliding up to her. It doesn’t escape Cady’s notice how she keeps a little distance from her. She takes a step and makes it smaller. “Ugh, I can’t believe we’re back again.”

“I’m glad about it,” Cady says with a shrug. “I mean, isn’t senior year meant to be one of the best ever?”

“Yeah,” Karen says. “I’m super excited. I’ve saved this jacket for senior year since… two years ago.”

“Well it’s pretty,” Cady tells her.

“And it means I get to see you two all the time,” Karen goes on. “Not just some days.” She beams at the two of them, but her smile is more focussed and slightly softer when it comes to Gretchen. As for Gretchen herself, her cheeks turn pink and she looks away after muttering some thanks. Cady’s ears prick up and it’s a conscious effort to keep her mouth from falling open. Exactly how long as this been going on? What exactly is going on.

“Hey, Cady,” Gretchen asks quickly, her voice low. “Um… I was just wondering if you’d spoken to Janis lately.”

“J-Janis?” she repeats dumbly. She bites the inside of her cheek, determined not to cry in the middle of the hallway on her first day. “Not-not really, why?”

“Oh… well… you’re her girlfriend,” she says plainly. Was, Cady thinks sadly. Past tense. “And I know she had that hospital appointment. Did she tell you how it went?”

“Oh.” Cady pulls on her braid and notices how shaky her hands are. “Um, yeah, she said it went fine. She didn’t really want to talk about it.”

“Oh, good,” Gretchen sighs. “Because that was really scary when she passed out at the mall.”

“Yeah.” Cady turns her braid over in her hand. Her fears about Janis’ health haven’t disappeared at all, just taken a backseat to her heartbreak. She twirls the strands of hair around her fingers, grateful for Karen’s babbling as it’s the only thing keeping her grounded. She willingly walks them to their homeroom and stops to talk to as many of her peers as she can on the way back, wanting to keep her own homeroom at bay for as long as possible.

She isn’t sure who she’s more nervous about seeing, Janis or Damian. The two of them have a bond she can never understand and while she’s more than appreciative of that, she cherishes her own friendship with Damian. After years of being an only child-not counting her animals- her bond with Damian finally makes her feel like she knows what it’s like to have a sibling. She knows he’d never willingly hurt or freeze her out. That’s just not in his nature. But she’d also bet that if it came down to her or Janis, he would pick Janis in a heartbeat. She can’t blame him, but the idea still hurts.

So when she slips into homeroom just sixty seconds before the bell goes, it’s with her heart in her mouth and an anxious shiver running down her back.

But when she spies Damian at the other end of the class, Janis isn’t with him. Cady isn’t sure if that makes it better or worse. Sure, there are any number of reasons Janis wouldn’t be in school today, and chill as her parents are, they aren’t the type to let her skip school to avoid talking to Cady.

Maybe she switched homeroom classes to avoid you, a voice in her head whispers.

Thanks, she whispers back.

As is her nature, she makes the most of it and approaches Damian, her footsteps not unlike the ones she’d use when approaching the lions in Kenya. Optimistic but careful. Damian doesn’t notice her, and for a split second she panics and thinks that he’s ignoring her, until she’s next to him and he looks up from his book, his face breaking into a smile. The smile doesn’t sit right with her-it’s apprehensive and weak, and that’s unfamiliar for the ever-cheerful Damian.

“Hey,” she manages to say despite the heavy lump in her throat.

“Happy new year, little slice,” he greets. At least he’s still himself. When he doesn’t object to her dropping her bag on the desk beside his, she’s even more relieved. Even if there’s still an elephant in the room.

“So…” she begins, her fingers picking against the desk. “Have you… have you spoken to Janis lately?”

He lets out a long sigh, running his hands through his hair. There’s a vulnerability about him that Cady hasn’t seen before and she’d be lying if she said that it didn’t scare her, however slightly. His eyes meet hers, anxiety and melancholy replacing the usual fun spark.

“So she told you,” is all he says.

“Well, yeah.” Told is a strange way of putting it. She looks down at her fidgeting hands, her need for answers clashing with her respect for their friendship. Eventually she finds a middle ground. “Damian… you don’t have to answer… but did she talk to you about it before? I just thought… since you two are like…” She holds up her crossed fingers for him to see and gives him a shrug. “You know?”

“Yeah,” he says. The corners of his mouth turn up in a hollow smile. “She asked me to come over to her house and she told me everything.” His lips roll into a thin line and Cady swears she sees him blink away a tear. Was he really that invested in their relationship? More than Janis was? “It was a tough time. When did she tell you?”

“Last night,” she replies. She rubs the back of her neck, startled at how cold her hands are. “It was over the phone.”

“Ooft.” He winces sympathetically and reaches over to pat her hands. “Well, you know Janis. She’d surgically remove her emotions if she could.” Cady nods, tight-lipped. She takes in a deep breath, determined not to cry at school. She really doesn’t want to have to explain to people why she burst out crying on her first day of the school year. That’d be an even lower point than her last first day.

She must look sadder than she wants to, though, because Damian croons “Oh, sweetheart” at her and kneels beside her desk, his hand covering hers. The comfort he provides is stronger than her anxiety and pulls the words out of her before she can stop them.

“I just… It’s so unexpected,” she says. “You know?”

“Yeah. I guess you think it would never happen to you and then… it happens.” He taps a fast, nervous rhythm on her desk and she notices how chewed up some of his nails look. “And when it does it doesn’t feel real. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck.”

“Yeah,” she whispers. She shakes her head. If she’s honest, she there’s a small part of her that can’t help being annoyed that how much he seems to be siding with Janis here, or at the very least trying to be neutral. Yes, he’s her best friend, and she’s fully aware of how much they mean to each other. But she’s not here and would it kill him to pretend? It’s not like what she did didn’t suck and wasn’t a dick move by romance standards. Maybe she’ll vent to Gretchen later about it. “Did she ever say anything before?”

“What do you mean, before?”

“Just… it’s fine you don’t have to answer.” She turns away from him, looking in her bag for her notepad.

“Caddy-”

“No, I know it’s not any of my business,” she replies, a bit harsher than she had intended. She brushes a lock of hair behind her ear and takes in a deep breath to compose herself. When she looks over at Damian again, he’s not mad, or if he is he does a very good job of hiding it. He looks confused more than anything else. “I just thought things were going really well. I didn’t expect it-I didn’t think she wasn’t happy.”

“Not happy?” he says. “Of course she wasn’t happy, she…” His voice trails off, his eyes grow wide and Cady watches as he puts together pieces of a puzzle she doesn’t have. “Cady, what are you talking about?”

But before she can answer, Mrs Norbury strides into the classroom, her glasses atop her messy bun and as usual, she carries more papers and folders than her arms can carry. She begins welcoming them back to the school and getting them ready to tackle the year ahead, all with the same cherry, wholesome vibe that makes Cady feel so safe around her. Only she soon starts to slow down, her eyes avoiding the students as her voice takes on a more serious tone. Cady reaches down to her backpack and squeezes the plush lion on her zipper.

“As some of you may have heard, your classmate Janis Sarkisian won’t be completing this year with us.”

What? A gasp ripples throughout the classroom. It’s not just news to Cady, it’s news to all of them. Is that why she broke up with her, she wonders. The only one who doesn’t seem surprised is Damian. When she turns to him, his head is bowed and he picks at his nails, but his face is resigned. Did he know?

“Her parents informed the school that she’ll be receiving treatment for cancer throughout this year,” Norbury concludes.

Cady freezes, one particular word standing out in her mind. She’s vaguely aware of a bunch of heads turning towards her and of the suffocating silence that falls on the room, but she can’t find it in her to care, let alone meet any of them. She’s too focussed on trying to catch her breath for that. A million questions run through her mind at once, blocking out the gasps and murmurs form her classmates.

“What the fuck?” someone exclaims. And Cady’s inclined to agree with them. Until she realises that the person who said it was her.

She spends the remainder of homeroom in open mouthed shock, the words ‘Janis’ and ‘cancer’ constantly at the front of her mind. As Norbury keeps talking, she sends subtle, sympathetic glances Cady’s way and amongst all the confusion, she’s grateful for it.

At least she has an answer now, she thinks. She kind of wishes she didn’t though. Janis breaking up with her is one thing. Janis having… This is another thing entirely.

She’s hurt. She might feel bad for it but she’s still hurt. Hurt that Janis didn’t tell her and hurt that she decided she’d rather break up with her than confide in her. Whatever she thought about where she and Janis were in their relationship, she was clearly wrong.

As soon as the bell rings she’s at Damian’s desk, looking up at him with eyes that demand answers. He sighs, putting his bag on his shoulder and the two hang back as the rest of the students file out, only leaving when Mrs Norbury gives them a silent reminder that there’s other people in the world besides them.

“She didn’t tell you,” he states in a low voice. The hall is empty enough, their fellow students far away enough so that they won’t hear them. “Did she?”

“Tell me?” She doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Damian… she broke up with me!”

“She did what?” he gasps, bringing the two of them to a halt. He shakes his head, as close to a scowl as she’s ever seen on his face. “That’s… no, I’m gonna… Okay but she… I’m going to talk to her about that because-”

“Damian.” She holds up her hand to silence him. “It’s okay. I can deal with her. It’s my-our relationship.”

“Okay.” His hand brushes against hers and then he takes it, his palm warm against hers. She’s not sure who he’s trying to comfort, himself or her, then it occurs to her it might be both. And despite it all, it’s nice to know he’s still her friend. “Damian, when you said she told you… what exactly did she tell you?”

At first he doesn’t answer. He swings their joined hands, a troubled expression on his face. And for the first time, it actually hits Cady as the anger begins to fade. It’s still there, but it simmers in the background as she faces this harrowing reality; Janis has cancer. Her girlfriend, the girl she… really likes a lot, has cancer.

Damian’s arm wraps around her waist and he hugs her tightly. She leans into his embrace, the two of them alone in this vast ocean.

“She told me everything she could,” he tells her quietly. “That she starts treatments on Monday.” Explains why she isn’t here. “She apologised, which was ridiculous.”

“Completely.” When Cady reaches up to touch her face, her fingers come away wet. Damn it.

“She also said she’s going to be okay,” he says weakly. “I told her of course she will be.”

“Of course,” Cady echoes. She thinks of Janis, larger than life, unapologetic, goofy, stubborn, beautiful Janis and despite the tears in her eyes and the hurt in her chest, she smiles. There’s no way this cancer could take her down. Not that she ever thought it would.

She rests her head on Damian’s shoulder and when she slips into her first class five minutes late, she’s let off with a warning and nothing more. And dozens of concerned eyes and hushed murmurs as she makes it to her seat. She’s not Home Schooled Jungle Freak or New Queen Bee any more. She’s The Girl Whose Girlfriend Has Cancer.

*****

At the end of the school day, Cady is the first one heading for the door, ducking her head to avoid the rest of the student body. Now that the word is out about Janis it’s all anyone talks about, and everyone assumes that as her girlfriend, she already knew. Which of course she didn’t and while she feigns composure and tries to be collected, she can’t not be annoyed at her. Every time someone approaches her and asks when Janis told her, she has to begrudgingly admit that she only found out this morning and it stings, even if she doesn’t tell them about the break up. Being the Girl Whose Girlfriend Has Cancer is one thing, being the Girl Who Got Dumped is another. It’s why she’s so eager to leave before anyone else can ask her; she wants to get to Janis’ house while there’s still affection in her.

She shoots her mom a quick text telling her she’s going to Janis’, omitting the reason why. To be honest, all she wants to do is run home and collapse in her mom’s arms and tell her everything, to give in to all the sad feelings hiding behind her anger. But she’s only got three days to talk to Janis about this and she worries that if she goes home now, she’ll never see her again.

And it’s the idea of never seeing Janis again that propels her forwards, taking the bus to her street and forcing her feet to move in the direction of her (ex) girlfriend’s house. A passer-by would be forgiven for thinking she was confident given the quick pace with which she’s walking, but her heart is pounding so hard it might burst out of her chest and she spent the bus ride writing down the main points she’s making like it’s a debate for English class. The only reason she’s moving with such purpose is a combination of the “Empowerment Playlist” she’s listening to (courtesy of Gretchen) and what she likes to think is rightful frustration.

Still, she has to wipe her hand on her pants before ringing Janis’ doorbell.

“Hi Mrs Sarkisian,” she greets with a smile, the same smile she’s always greeted Cady with. She searches Mrs Sarkisian’s face, trying to find any trace of fear or sadness or any indication that her daughter has been struck with an infamous illness. Was she in the room when they found out? Had she had an idea before? More selfishly, does she know about the break-up?

“A-are you here for Janis?” Mrs Sarkisian asks and it’s then Cady realises she hasn’t said anything.

“Oh, um, yeah, yes,” she replies. She plays with the zipper of her jacket. “Is she here? I just want to talk to her about… some stuff.”

A moment passes before she says “sure” and lets Cady in. She wonders what was going in Mrs Sarkisian’s head for that moment. Was she considering making up a lie and politely declining?

“She’s just in the living room.” She gestures to the tightly shut door. That’s all that’s separating her from Janis. A door that’s about the same thickness as her calculator. She suddenly starts chugging the water in her backpack.

“Thanks, Mrs Sarkisian,” she replies. She gives her a stern look and Cady manages a weak nod, remembering a past conversation. “Laura.”

As Janis’ mom moves slowly down the hallway, Cady places her hand on the doorknob, fingers freezing around the metal. Seeing her girlfriend is scaring her more than anything else she’s faced so far.

“Fearless,” she whispers to herself. “Fearless.” Her little mantra gives her strength and she turns the knob, and stumbles into the living room.

“Caddy!”

Janis is sitting on the couch, the exact same girl she saw last week at the mall. Every inch of her is familiar, but at the same time Cady has to ask herself if she always looked like this. If her skin is paler or is she imagining things, does she look more tired or is it just the lack of make-up? Her hair looks unbrushed and is pulled back into a messy ponytail and in the split second before she noticed her, she had been watching the TV with half-empty eyes and her hand thoughtlessly running through Maxie’s fur. There’s a white blanket draped around her shoulders and she doesn’t think she remembers Janis looking quite so vulnerable before.

One thing is for sure though; Janis wasn’t expecting her to come around.

“Caddy what are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?” she asks, stepping closer to Janis. A warm flush spreads across her face and down her back and she doesn’t know if it’s out of anger or embarrassment or both. “What do you think I’m doing here?”

“I don’t-”

“Janis, I know,” she tells her sharply, only to immediately regret it. Her whole body is rigid, apart from her hand which fidgets at her side. “I know. Norbury told us, Jan. I know what’s wrong with you. Everyone does.”

“Oh,” is all Janis says. She turns away from her, but thanks to her pulled-back hair, Cady can see the way her jaw is clenched and how her shoulders shake, the way her face scrunches in a way that can only mean one thing. In less than a second, all the anger and frustration that had pushed her here melts away, leaving just a little bit of guilt and a lot of sadness. Seconds pass in a suffocating silence and Cady is almost tempted to just leave. Walk out the door and let her go. It’s only because the idea of letting her go hurts more than this that she stays.

“I’m sorry,” Janis finally says, still looking away. “I wanted to tell you-okay no that’s a lie. I didn’t.”

“Oh thanks,” Cady scoffs. “Way to make me feel better.”

“No, Caddy.” She pushes a rather offended Maxie off her lap and stands up. It doesn’t escape Cady’s notice how the task takes more effort than normal or that her breathing is more laboured than it should be. She’s clad in an oversized grey shirt and black shorts poking out underneath, her collarbone poking out starkly. She looks over at her, tear tracks on her pale cheeks. “It’s not like that. I didn’t want you to know because…” She waves her hand in mid-air as she searches for the right words. “I didn’t know how.”

“You knew how to tell Damian,” she says, though her voice is far softer than it would have been an hour ago.

“He’s different,” Janis tells her with a shrug. “He’s Damian.”

“And I’m what exactly?” she asks. After a deep breath in, she takes a step closer to Janis. They’re still giving each other space, but she could reach out and touch her now if she wanted. Instead she keeps her arms to herself. “Janis I’m not mad that you didn’t tell me.”

“Yeah you are.”

“Yeah okay, I am,” she sighs. “I mean… did you break up with me to get out of telling me?”

“No.” Her eyes widen at that, her hair bouncing as she shakes her head. “No, no Cady. I didn’t.”

“Then what? Were you always planning on it? Was this just really bad timing?”

“No, God, Cady no!” As she speaks, she looks the most normal she has since Cady got there. Or the most familiar, at least. She runs a hand over her face, a small, pained sound emitting from her mouth. “God. I broke up with you because…” She lets out a loud, trembling sob and not having her arms around her physically hurts. “Because you didn’t deserve it. You don’t deserve a girlfriend with… with cancer.”

Now it’s Cady’s turn to bite back tears. How could Janis even think that? That some illness would make her less worthy of her? Her confession tears at and mends her heart at the same time.

“Well…” She takes another step closer to her. Lifting her chin up just a little, she takes Janis’ hand and moves it away from her face. Cady’s thumb presses into the palm of her hand. “You don’t deserve cancer.” Janis’ fingers intertwine with hers.

“That’s different,” she whispers. “I’m just trying to minimise the damage.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means…” She winces out of some unknown pain. “It means I’m already dragging my parents down with this. And Damian too. I ca-can’t do that to you.” Cady blinks and-unsurprisingly-finds tears in her own eyes. “I can’t drag you down too, Caddy.” Cady shakes her head, her words deserting her. As if Janis could ever drag her down. “I’m sorry. I should have told you. I should have, you were right. You shouldn’t have had to find out like that.”

“Yeah, I shouldn’t have.” That’s about as annoyed as she can get now. After a brief hesitation, she reaches out and wipes her tears away. She at least smiles at that. “Janis… don’t push me away. Not now, especially not now.” Not when you need me she adds silently.

“I just want you to be happy,” she says quietly. “I want you to enjoy your senior year, Caddy. Minimal baggage.”

“Maybe I want to carry the baggage with you,” she replies firmly. Her words take Janis by surprise. With a gentle smile, she continues “I mean isn’t that what I’m supposed to be doing as your girlfriend?” The hopeful look in Janis’ is all the answer she needs. Enough to make her close the distance between them even more and run her fingers through her hair. “Then let me in,” she whispers.

And she’s close to. But there’s a tension in Janis’ shoulders and a wall still standing between them.

“Caddy, I read all these articles,” she explains. “About relationships and cancer and it might… I might not be able to be a good girlfriend right now.”

Cady shakes her head again, because she can’t imagine a world where Janis isn’t a good girlfriend.

“Then I’ll be good enough for the both of us,” she tells her. “Then when you get better, we can be good together.”

The corners of Janis’ mouth turn up into a smile and gosh, does it warm Cady’s heart to see it.

“There’s no getting rid of you, is there?”

“Nope.” Janis chuckles, the sound sweet and lovely and better than any music on her phone and taps her finger to Cady’s nose. In response she plants a swift and sweet kiss to the inside of Janis’ wrist.

“Do you want to stay?” she asks sheepishly. “Just for a little bit. You can fill me in on school. I can fill you in on this. And…” She avoids her eyes but this time it’s not out of fear or discomfort. If the pinkish hue on her cheeks is any indication, it’s out of an affectionate embarrassment. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Cady tells her, squeezing her hand. “Art freak.”

They settle themselves on Janis’ couch, Cady’s legs draped over hers and the blanket around Janis’ shoulders and pulled over Cady’s back, sealing them in their own little cocoon. Cady tries to fill her in about school and what she’s missed, deciding to omit the details about Karen and Gretchen this morning. Janis can find that out when the two of them are ready. Instead she tells her about her plans to captain the Mathletes now that Kevin is gone and of her excitement for the classes ahead. Small and unimportant things that soon fall to the side, giving way for Janis to tell her everything.

“I have leukaemia,” she explains. “According to Mr Doctor Man, that means I have too many white blood cells and that means the red ones can’t function.” Her hand is tense as it curls around Cady’s. That sounds nothing short of terrifying to Cady, and she realises immediately after that that she’s not even the person going through it. So as much as anything Janis says scares her, it’s nothing to what Janis herself must be feeling.

“How did you find out?” she asks after a while.

“I just… I was tired all the time,” she says. “And you know… passing out in the mall.” The fact that Cady was there that day and witnessed it and didn’t know the reason why sends a shiver down her spine. “And I was waking up in the middle of the night and I was really, really hot. You can make a joke about how I’m already really hot.”

“Nah. Your ego’s big enough already.” Janis chuckles, albeit short lived.

“So I got a blood test and then… they found out.” She gives a nonchalant shrug that’s not at all matching the topic. “I did not take it well.” Now it’s Cady’s turn to laugh and she wonders if this is a sign of what’s coming. Laughing at the darkness because it’s better than the alternative.

“Damian told me you start treatment on Monday,” she says quietly. Janis nods and takes in a deep breath. Cady wonders if Damian telling her was crossing a line.

“Yep,” she sighs. Her demeanour changes slightly, even if the tension in her hand and the beating of her heart doesn’t. Not too much, but enough to make her appear calm to an outsider. “Basically two weeks in the hospital, then a week here, for three months.” She kisses the back of Cady’s hand, a spark in her eye that feels more like her. “Then after that, all of this will be a funny memory and we’ll laugh ourselves silly.”

“We will?” Cady echoes, doubtful. Janis manages a half-nod and Cady rests her head on her shoulder, her arm across her girlfriend’s chest. Janis pulls her closer and rests her cheek against Cady’s hair. If she’s honest, the way Janis is holding her isn’t entirely comfortable, but there’s a desperation in her touch that makes Cady’s discomfort almost silly. Like someone might come in and drag Cady away at any moment. So even with the dull ache in her back, she strokes Janis’ hair and kisses her cheek, counting the tiniest of smiles as a victory.

They sit like that in silence for a long, long time before Janis speaks up again, without walls or defences and sounding impossibly far away despite being so close to her.

“I’m scared,” she confesses, and then she breaks. It’s not the panicking type of fear that she’s familiar with, both from her own experiences and with Gretchen. Instead it feels deep and cold, sitting heavily in her soul and rattling her from within. She’s been living with it for days now, utterly alone. And it’s terrible, for Cady to watch and no doubt for Janis to experience. She’d give anything if it meant she could just tell her it will all be okay, how could she?

“I know,” is what she says instead. She kisses her cheek again and again and nuzzles into her neck. “I know.” Janis’ moves heavily and slowly against her, her breath ruffling Cady’s stray hair. She presses another firm kiss to Cady’s head and a lot is held in that simple gesture.

“I need you to promise me something,” Janis says softly. Her fingers fidget and pick anxiously at the blanket, chasing away whatever pleasantness was left. “I need you to promise that if it gets too much… if this gets too hard for you, you’ll walk away.”

“Janis-”

“Cady.” She shifts and breaks them apart so she can look Cady squarely in the eyes and hold her hands close to her chest. The expression on her face is equal parts desperate and steadfast. And fear. Cady has an unwelcome suspicion that fear might become commonplace for the next few months. Janis holds her face in her cold hands and continues. “I mean it. I need you to promise that you won’t put your life on hold because of me. That if… if this starts interfering with your life and what you want, you’ll step back. Even if it means… if it means ending it.”

Cady shakes her head. It’s an absurd promise and one she could never keep. Asking her to give up Janis would be like asking her to step down as Mathletes captain or delete the pictures of lions from her phone. She went through a lot last year to find who she wants to be, and who she wants to be with, and nothing could make her give that up. But Janis is silently pleading with her and she knows there’s no way to placate her other than agreeing.

“Okay, fine. I promise.” But her fingers are crossed behind her back. She’s broken promises before, and this is at least one worth breaking. And regardless, there’s more ways to get out of such a deal. “And I’ll make another promise. That it’ll never be too much for me. Not ever, Janis Sarkisian.”

She nods and mumbles an ‘okay’ and while she’s clearly comforted by Cady’s declaration, she doesn’t seem entirely convinced. It makes sense; she’s been plagued by insecurities for a while and the effects past betrayal still linger on her, making sweet words turn sour in her mind. So when Cady tilts her head towards her and kisses her, it’s more than a kiss. It’s another promise, not to Janis but to herself, that she’ll spend every day until this is over making Janis believe her.

#cadnis #mean girls fanfic #mean girls broadway #janis sarkisian #cady heron #paint by numbers #mean girls #mean girls ff #cadnis ff #fic: heart of stone #woah thats a lotta tags

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ayashiki-i-i · 5 years

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Last Friday, I had the absolute joy and privilege to see Be More Chill in London!

(Yes, last Friday, this has been sitting in my drafts for over a week because I couldn’t figure out how to appropriately convey my delight with this show, and also yes, joy and privilege, call me dramatic but I swear to god nothing on this Earth makes me appreciate my life quite as live theatre.)

I have loved this show for a very long time. Not quite since its first Two Rivers Theatre run, but very early on from when it caught the internet’s attention. I was at the start of what was to become a viral sensation, and I was with the show, rooting for it, hoping for it, ever since. I feel like I walked the journey from crossing million hits on Spotify to the Broadway alongside the cast and creators. I felt immensely happy and proud for these people I never met when they announced their off-Broadway return, and I honest to god cried the day they opened on Broadway. Needless to say, I was overjoyed, literally jumping with happiness, when they announced they will stage a production on West End. Or technically off-West End? I’m still very confused how The Other Palace is not West End and Victoria Palace literally around the corner is West End... Anyway. I have not walked into that theatre on Valentine’s Day with low expectations.

And my Mount Everest high expectations were far, far exceeded and shot somewhere into the stratosphere.

I really can’t with words describe how much I loved this show. Joes Iconis and Tracz managed to hit some very special spot with this musical. It’s truly hard to describe, but this show just makes you happy. It makes you involved and interested. And I gotta tell you, I think we hit the press night, because there was a bunch of people (very respectfully) scribbling on their pads and iPads during the show, so this wasn’t an audience primed and geared for this type of musical. And that’s not even counting all the parents chaperoning their teenagers. And I can guarantee you everyone had a great time. During the intermission I went to get a drink and witnessed several conversations between aforementioned parents that all pretty much amounted to “wow, this is actually good!” It’s honestly such a treat to be in an audience that’s genuinely enjoying themselves.

This show is funny, and heartfelt, and charming. So charming. It has somehow a vibe of a really well done high school production, which could maybe sound like a criticism but i swear it isn’t!

I haven’t seen much of the previous productions, except few clips from the Two Rivers bootleg slime tutorial, but I really tried not to watch too much, hoping against hope there will be a revival one day (I try not to watch shows I have a chance of seeing one day. I’m fortunate to have the chance of having the full experience live so I try not to ruin it for myself lol). I gobbled up all the official promo clips and videos from the NYC revival, being super unlucky and managing to plan my New York trip in that small window when BMC just closed Off-Broadway and before it got on Broadway. I haven’t even listened to the Broadway recording, because by the time it came out I knew they’ll be staging a production over here. So i went in quite blind. With all that previous ado, this is how it was:

The book is so good. So so good. Many times when I fall in love with an album, the actual musical doesn’t hold up because the book doesn’t compare (hi, Dear Evan Hansen). But BMC is as engaging and fun between the songs as during them. Tbh I don’t love the changes to the songs they made, but I don’t really hate them either... Now having listened to the Broadway recording they reverted somewhat back to the original album on West End and I’m happy they did, but still. Especially Pitiful Children did not deserve the cuts. But I mean its still mostly the same album and it’s brilliant and fun, and ok, Looser, Geek or Whatever is a bop.

(Although I always kinda liked that Jeremy didn’t have a typical big “hero song” because he keeps mentioning how he isn’t a hero and it was kinda ironic that his own show refused him the hero treatment, but the song is solid.)

This cast is EVERYTHING. I’m sorry all previous casts, I love you and I respect you but i really think the British cast is (so far) the peak? Obviously as I said I don’t have the full picture to compare, but honestly these guys are all so good and I can’t imagine anyone else in these roles, they set the bar so high. Yes, even Michael. Omg I’m so sorry George Salazar! This role is his in a very special way, and I feel blasphemous saying this! But that’s what makes Blake Patrick Anderson so special, because I didn’t think I will ever be able to accept another Micheal than George Salazar. But from the first moment Anderson appears on stage, you don’t think of George Salazar. This right here is a Micheal and that’s it. I think he’s slightly less... Manic, than Salazar, and more caring, but also more stubborn, and nerdy. My friend said after the first act the character’s problem is that he’s a bit too likeable and it’s almost unbelievable he would be a social outcast and she was right. The dude is so damn likeable! So charming, so positive. And then Micheal in the Bathroom hits and omg does it hit. Also Blake Patrick Anderson has a really long name is very pretty. A+ snack. I’m in love. Scott Folan is, uh, I don’t really love him vocally... Ok I liked him until Loser Geek of Whatever. I don’t know, maybe it wasn’t his day. Or maybe that song is just written for Will Roland and no one will ever measure up? Tbh I haven’t seen Roland sing it live so who knows, maybe it is one of those songs that’s hard to perform without yelling a bit. Praying circle for the West End cast album? However Scott Folan’s acting is a masterclass. He’s so awkward in the first act, so sad, but also sweet. Actually I said i didn’t love his singing but when his voice cracks all over in his first few songs it’s superb and also his “Christiiine~” is really beautiful and lovely, so, dunno *shrugs*. And then in the second half he totally sells his confidence and assholer-y and like... They seem like two different jeremys, the squipped and un-squipped one. But ultimately he just gives such good-kid vibes. He seems like the perfect midpoint between Will Connolly’s shy Bambi and Roland’s geeky recluse. This Christine is absolutely feral. Like, you have no idea. Some people commented on the video of I Love Play Rehersal from the rehearsals that this Christine is not chaotic enough, so I’m seriously worried how chaotic Stephenie Hsu was? :D In any case Miracle Chance I thought was perfect, the ideal mixture of quirky but relatable, sweet but strong. Also she is hilarious. I’m pretty sure she got the most laugh out of the audience, not just because the actress’s absolutely perfect comedic timing but also that role is so well written. Like you really can’t get the full idea of this character until you watch the show, you know? It’s very layered, but each layer is easy to get so she makes a really fun character to watch. The Squip is hot. Like so hot. And his costumes are wonderful. And I know I’m not the only one who didn’t love Jason Tam’s accent as Squip and like... I think I know what he was going for but it just doesn’t work for me. This Squip is a lot more like Eric William Morris, just more hot. Oh yeah I mean the dude is fantastic actor too, and his voice is something impressive, but mostly I was just thinking “hot” whenever he was on stage :D James Hameed’s Rich is vocally stunning. By far the best Squip Song I have ever heard. Also he has Pickle Rick tattoo?? It’s fucking brilliant I HATE IT! :D Millie O’Connel is perfect of course. She has such a presence on stage. It was hilarious when she came out after the show, with her hair down and make-up off and said hi and people mostly kinda ignored her cause... She’s really a hurricane on stage and when she dials it down just a notch I really think people don’t connect her to her stage persona :D

(Also like, massive kudos to The Other Palace’s stage door, cause they allow you to just hang around the bar where the cast has to go through to leave the place, so no dirty alleyways stage dooring in rain and cold and possible pickpockets around.)

I really loved the staging, and it’s very small, very minimal, which isn’t something I normally like, so well done! They definitely dialled back from the Broadway (the bean bags are back!) and honestly the minimal props and simple set really suit this show. It adds to that almost-like-a-really-good-school-play charm. But also they have this massive LED screen as the background so they can change and move and animate their backdrop and it’s honestly so impressive. The artwork is so perfectly in line with the show’s aesthetic. And it’s building up and up towards the show’s climax which I thought was pretty subtle and pretty neat creative decision.

Ugh this is so long I didn’t think it would be so long :D But I have one criticism I cannot not mention. And I kinda always had this, but seeing it live it jumps out on me more - I don’t feel Jeremy and Christine :| I mean don’t get me wrong. The actors have amazing chemistry, their added song is the one that I actually really like and it makes sense, there’s so much more meaningful interaction they have in the show than the songs wold suggest. But. It still doesn’t quite sit well. Besides the fact that I don’t think the show’s narrative is about Jeremy getting the girl - that’s not really his character arc. But also, although they’re not incompatible, he gets the girl he doesn’t even really know, and she definitely doesn’t know him. I think I would prefer if they just stayed friends at the end, but if there had to be romantic conclusion... Well, I mean who doesn’t ship boyf friends, but seriously if Michael was a girl I’m pretty sure he’d be the romantic endgame for Jeremy. You know the type, the old friend who was by the protagonists side and believed in him all along? Yeah. But besides that, i was surprised to find I kinda liked Jeremy with Brooke too? I mean they have the same problem as Jeremy and Christine, with not knowing each other and all that, but at least it’s mutual, and they seemed to have a spark. But maybe it’s just because I unexpectedly really, really loved Brooke (she doesn’t have much space on the album and no one ever really talks about her, why does no one really talk about her???). She defies a lot of her archetype, she seems like such a sweet person. I guess I would just like to see more of her, and more depth to her, which a romance with the protagonist would’ve given her.

But tbh the show devotes a lot more time than I thought it would for Christine and Jeremey’s relationship to develop and it isn’t unrealistic, so it ended up being a pretty minor issue, which i though would be a bigger one.

Tl;dr (oh my god why is this so long????) this show is everything I wanted and more. The West End cast is amazing, charming and delightful and each of them is perfectly cast to really embody their character, while giving some fresh outlook on characters I thought I knew very well and filling very big shoes of the original cast I thought couldn’t be replaced. Also I didn’t talk to any of them but they spend a long time hanging out with the fans after the show and seemed genuinely super nice and pleased with the love the show is getting. The book is more than an equal partner to the music I already was in love with (also Joe Iconis was at the show I saw! I didn’t talk to him because I’m me and I will forever regret it!). The Other Palace’s staging and direction is wonderful, and the choreography is impressive and very on brand with the rest of the show, very modern, very electro and robot. I enjoyed every second and the standing ovation at the end was well deserved.

Just to re-affirm how much I loved this show - just few days after seeing it I booked a ticket to go see it again almost immediately lol. So if anyone is seeing it this Wednesday 26th Feb and you can telepathically pick me in the audience come say hello!

(Or like, drop me a message like a normal person if you’re also going alone and want to meet with someone to seem less like a weirdo! :D)

#ramblings #i have a life #be more chill #bmc #be more chill west end #i love musicals!#musical theatre #review #i guess?#it’s pretty much just me yelling what a good time i had

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