#Environment Essay Examples

[prettieinpink]

HOW TO GET OUT OF A READING SLUMP

Inspired by how I'm currently trying to read again. 

START SHORTER. Try to read something manageable for you, and it doesn’t have to even be a full novel. It could be an essay on something that interests you or any short stories you find. Get into the habit of reading at your own pace, till you feel ready to take on something bigger. 

SET REALISTIC GOALS. Instead of wanting a goal like completing a book within a week, I would say 20 minutes of reading per day or at least 2 hours per week. You don’t have to track the time when you’re reading, but make mental notes of when you start reading and how long you read. 

EXPLORE. You may even be tired of reading certain genres, and not notice it. While in a slump, I would explore different books and see what interests me the most. For example, if you love reading romance books, try some action ones instead(or vice versa.)

REREAD FAVES. The familiarity of some books can help us get back into the swing of reading. Every time I reread a book, I always pick up on new details that I didn’t notice before. Reread one of your favourite books and try to spot details that you didn’t spot before. 

MAKE A LIST. Create a list of all the books that you want to read or reread. I feel like the process of seeing all the books you could, really encourages you to pick up that book. 

TRY A DIFFERENT FORMAT. For a lot of us, reading paperback or hard copy is the way to go. However, when I’m in a slump, I feel like opting for a different format helps me to get back into reading. For example, a digital book, or an e-book. (or vice versa)

READ IN A DIFFERENT ENVIRONMENT. I love LOVE, reading in an actual library. It is not for everyone, but a change of scenery can help. Some ideas can be at a park, a cafe, beaches and or a nature trail. 

PAIR READING WITH ANOTHER ACTIVITY. Some examples are exercising, cooking, travelling/commuting or doing mindfulness activities. This is more for getting back into the habit, once you’ve got it again, I would say to focus only on reading. 

[itsnotmuchyet]

Okay, this is just a quick (lies, this ended up so long) and dirty articulation of why I don't like Annabeth Chase from PJO, her relationship with Percy, and what I think could fix it. (It got too long so I cut that bit. I'll write it if someone asks, but right now this is just a deconstruction of how, in my opinion, Annabeth Chase is not a well-written and compelling character.) This will be rambling and scattershot but hopefully it all makes sense, even if you don't agree.

First of all, Annabeth Chase has a lot of potential. I'm about to talk some shit, but I want to be clear, I see a lot in her character that could be interesting. I attribute most of my problems with her to Rick's writing, which, for all its good qualities, is not the strongest or most consistent imo. This isn't intended as a hate piece, just a way to organize my thoughts. I'm doing this all from memory, and am open to feedback, disagreement, or correction if I make a mistake so long as it's done in a civil way. Thank you.

I think my biggest frustration with Annabeth is that I simply don't believe her intelligence. I would LIKE to. But I think we are told that she is smart far more than we're shown, which makes the praise heaped upon her somewhat galling.

When I think about great strategies in these books, Percy comes to mind first. In The Last Olympian, he's the one who plans out the destruction of the bridges to frustrate Kronos' approach, including making diplomatic deals with the river gods and strategically deploying demigods to get it done. He's the one to realize that Poseidon is critical to success, find a way to get his attention in the middle of a war, and convince him to take heavy losses in Atlantis — and lose that battle which was very personal and precious to him — in order to win the ultimate war against Kronos. It is also Percy's strategy which is successful in defeating Typhon. Percy is constantly thinking up strategies in high pressure environments, such as fights. For example, in the Labrynth, when he realizes that his half-brother is healed by earth so he concocts a method with what he has around him to keep his brother suspended so he can be killed.

Now, other demigods also make important contributions in The Last Olympian. Wasn't it Nico who convinced Hades, Persephone, and Demeter to join the fight? And Annabeth activated Daedalus(??? spelling) statues in defense as well. But Percy is one that we are most often shown being strategic. I think it just goes under the radar because Percy does not have a high self esteem and does not praise himself internally for a lot of the clever stuff he does.

Annabeth most often contributes by knowing something. She often serves as exposition; she'll recognize a myth first, and explain it to Percy. But not only is prior knowledge and memorization not a replacement for actual strategy, BUT PERCY GETS BETTER GRADES THAN HER. I think it's in that Demigod Files book?? All Riordan's stuff has at least a month's waitlist at my library or I would double check my source, but I distinctly remember an entry where Annabeth is like, "Seriously, how is Percy getting better grades than me?? I'm the one who taught him how to put an essay together and now he's breezing through them??? Wtf." I find this intensely frustrating. Because what do you MEAN she's not even more successful than Percy academically? It's just, it's frustrating, because she's supposed to be so super smart, and I'm struggling to see where that actually gets expressed. If her only advantage is an earlier exposure to the Greek myths than Percy and a good memory, then her value as a character is highest near the start of the series and can only decline from there.

Even her encounter with the Sphinx highlights this. She had the trivia knowledge to answer the questions but not the wisdom to just, do that and not start an unnecessary fight in the middle of their quest.

I can think of several times in the books where Annabeth stutters, trying to think of something, while Percy improvises something that might be a little goofy but it WORKS.

Actually, Percy is by far the better manipulator out of the two of them. He is insanely good at reading his enemies, figuring out how to convince them to ally with him if possible, or defeat them if not. His big vulnerability is he can't do that for shit with people he cares about. Percy is actually very conflict avoidant in his personal life, I've noticed? And he's very quick to empathize with a friend and try to see things from their persepective (like when Grover kinda SABOTAGED his college applications and Percy heard him out and supported him in his emotional struggle with Percy leaving).

By contrast, Annabeth doesn't seem interested in the emotional wellbeing of her friends?

Annabeth often insults Percy's intelligence and his strategies. She says his head is full of kelp, seaweed brain, outright calls him stupid at least once (during that quest for Hermes, if I recall; was that in the Demigod Files as well? It wasn't in a main book I don't think). Everyone says that Annabeth is so smart, she's the daughter of Athena she's the architect of Olympus!! Meanwhile, the person I see actually implementing successful strategy is the person Annabeth constantly insults. She says that he's lucky, that he needs help to do anything, couldn't think his way out of a paper bag without her????????

That's what drives me crazy about Annabeth. Nobody ever calls her on her bragging or her putting down of other people. She doesn't learn. Not even when her carelessness and overconfidence gets her DRAGGED INTO TARTARUS. I'm so sorry, but is it not embarrassing for a daughter of Athena to be defeated like that??? All you had to do was keep an awareness of your environment, put two and two together that you're covered in webs just like the spider who just fell through the floor, and realize you'd better do something about that ASAP. And, like. Look. My issue isn't that she was pulled into Tartarus. My issue isn't even the way it happened. It matches with her fatal flaw.

My issue is that, like with everything else she gets wrong, she never seems to learn or grow from it. Like when Luke tricked her into holding up the sky. That to me is a perfect opportunity for a genuine character moment. It's so humbling, and would leave you so shaken. A moment for an unwanted but desperately needed reckoning between who she wants Luke to be and who he is. I'm not even saying she should have given up on him. I don't mind that she couldn't or that the whole thing was so messy and painful for her, but the way that it was expressed in the book made me feel like Annabeth was either willfully blind or untrustworthy. Her denial of Luke's worst aspects, her defending of him, her refusal to hold space for other characters feeling differently to her, all of it fostered suspicion in me when I first read the PJO books.

I remember when I first read the scene where Percy reveals his Achille's heel to her. My hair stood on end. Something about the way her eyes are described as "distant" when she asks where it is, and how Percy hesitates. In that moment I was screaming for him not to trust her. I did not want her to know. I thought his fatal flaw was going to kill him. Percy is a character who cannot anticipate betrayal.

Of course I was wrong about Annabeth there. Or was I? Other people before me have noted that when Annabeth judo flips Percy onto his back in New Rome, she does not know that the Mark of Achilles has been lifted. I don't think that the throw would have necessarily killed him if it hadn't; he lands on a flat surface. But it was certainly DEEPLY careless and foolhardy of Annabeth, EVEN BEFORE you take into account that it was, strategically, a STUPID thing to do. It makes me want to scream how dumb this moment makes Annabeth look. It's the tense, fraught first meeting in years between ancient enemies. You're the leader of your group, the diplomatic ambassador from Camp Half Blood. It's imperative that this goes well, for the fate of the world. And your emotions run so high upon reuniting with your kidnapped boyfriend — who was stolen by a god and has been through you-don't-know-what kind of godly fuckery — that you take it out on him, the VICTIM, and physically attack him. Didn't she put a knife to his throat?? If PERCY hadn't defused the moment, handled it, Annabeth would easily have destroyed the Greek-Roman alliance right there, no ghostly possession of Leo needed. With friends like her, who needs enemies?

Her relationship with Percy…I've never understood why they're the golden couple of the fandom. Annabeth seemed more interested in Luke than Percy, and when she was interested in Percy it was always…like, okay, Annabeth was vulnerable with Luke. I don't think he ever had a thing for her, but there was a tenderness to how she'd interact with him. When she interacted with Percy — think of the school dance, or how she handled having Rachel on a quest — she refuses to be vulnerable with him. If she has a crush on Percy, she hides it under glares, insults, and demands. Annabeth won't ask Percy to dance with her, she'll hit him and call him stupid for not asking her. She will not let her guard down with him.

This is a throughline in their relationship; even in Tartarus, she's thinking about how she likes to keep Percy on her toes. Yeah, Annabeth, we know. It was obvious when you manufactured a whole drama around your "one month anniversary." Which, no, that's not a thing, and it's completely normal of Percy not to anticipate that you would want him to do something special for it. I hated that whole story (it's in demigod files, I think). It's just Annabeth dangling Percy over undefined consequences if he doesn't read her mind and figure out what she wants and needs. He does all the work and she judges it. It's not cute or fun.

I do place most of the blame on Riordan's writing. What's that scene where Annabeth pushes Percy unexpectably off a cliff, triggering a very sensitive and dangerous encounter that he had to negotiate under time pressure while Annabeth watches? How does that scene start? "Get you a girlfriend who…" It's framed as a positive that Annabeth will just shove Percy into dangerous situations without warning when she absolutely does not have to do that. Isn't she supposed to be strategic? Why can't she think up a strategy and tell him, instead of shoving him at the problem and just, putting it on him to find a solution? "Give the problem to Percy" isn't a strategy worthy of Athena, I'm sorry. But my point is, Rick genuinely seems to think their romance is good and these red flag moments are cute and flirty. He is not writing Annabeth as an asshole on purpose.

I tend towards death of the author analyses myself, but Rick's writing is not consistent enough for that. You kinda just have to identify what he was trying to do, see where it failed, and decide how you wanna interpret that. And when it comes to Annabeth…I just want to either burn her relationship with Percy down or rewrite her character.

What else is there? Oh yeah, does anyone else feel like the way her family is written makes her seem…overdramatic? Like, meeting her dad and stepmom…it's an anticlimax. This girl was so unhappy she ran away from home as a child. She chose to become homeless in a world where monsters hunt her down, AS A CHILD, rather than stay with her dad. There's a deep unhappiness and loss to that. When she talks about it, she talks about being unwanted, a burden that her dad was unable and unwilling to handle, not being heard, not being believed. She is describing victim blaming. In that house, she, a six year old child, was seen as the problem.

And after that build up, we meet her family, and they are…well, they're fine, aren't they. Her step mom is concerned for her. She and Annabeth's dad (no i don't remember his name rn) seem to want the best for her, to help however they can. Mr Chase—is his name Frederick maybe???—Mr Chase takes the initiative, after Percy and his friends let him in on a sliver of what's going on with Annabeth, to melt down old weapons to make bullets and FLY A HELICOPTER to come save his daughter.

I'm honestly at a loss about what we're supposed to think here. At the end of Titan's Curse Percy gently suggests to Annabeth that she give her family another chance. If I recall, she says some things can't be repaired, but it's implied that she does actually try again with her family later. This always seemed to me to undermine Annabeth's entire narrative…the way she describes being treated simply does not match what we observe for ourselves in Titan's Curse.

I could go on but I'll cut it here. Maybe I'll make a post about I'd rewrite her if I could, because I do WANT to like Annabeth. There's a lot interesting that could be done with her. Probably not though bc all the Annabeth stans are gonna block me for this one I fear. Maybe I'll post my criticisms of other PJO couples instead lol (I won't. if you've read this far you'll find this claim dubious, but I actually don't enjoy being a hater. anyway i don't have nearly so much to say about any other pjo couple). Thanks for reading.

[glowettee]

you don’t need "motivation" to get things done (and how to prove it to yourself) ✧˖°

post 1 post 2 post 3 post 4

okay, can we get one thing straight?: waiting for motivation to magically appear is like waiting for a text back from someone who’s obviously not that into you. sometimes it shows up when you least expect it, and sometimes it just... doesn’t. but here’s the thing: motivation is overrated. you don’t actually need it to get things done, especially when finals are creeping up and you just can’t afford to procrastinate. i'm going to break down why motivation isn’t the key and how to actually start working without it.

𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚞𝚙 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚕 ✧˖°

motivation is unpredictable. it comes in waves, like when you suddenly feel inspired to plan your entire week at 2 a.m. or when you’re pumped to study after watching one (1) academic vlog. but motivation is an emotion, and emotions change. one minute you’re ready to conquer the world, and the next, you just want to lie on the floor and scroll through tiktok.

instead of relying on something as inconsistent as motivation, focus on building habits. habits don’t care if you’re feeling inspired... they just happen because you’ve trained your brain to do them automatically. the secret is to make productivity a routine, not something that requires hype.

𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢, 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 ✧˖°

➼ make your to-do list tiny and non-threatening honestly, sometimes just looking at a long list of tasks is enough to make you want to give up before you even start. break it down into the tiniest steps possible. instead of “study biology chapter 5,” write “open biology textbook,” “read the first paragraph,” “highlight one sentence.” sounds silly, but your brain loves crossing things off, no matter how small.

➼ the 5-minute rule tell yourself you only have to work for five minutes. that’s it. no pressure to finish an entire chapter or write a full essay, just five minutes. most of the time, you’ll end up continuing because getting started is the hardest part. but even if you only do those five minutes, that’s progress.

➼ set up your workspace like a ritual this might sound weird, but romanticizing the setup makes it easier to get into the zone. light a candle, put on some lo-fi or classical music, make a cup of tea. your brain will start to associate that vibe with “okay, it’s time to work.” the more you repeat this little ritual, the easier it becomes to just start without overthinking it.

𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚌 ✧˖°

➼ pair tasks with habits you already have habit stacking is genius. pair a new productive habit with something you already do every day. for example, if you always have a cup of coffee in the morning, make that the time you do a quick 5-minute review of your notes. your brain will connect the two activities, making it feel more natural.

➼ use environmental cues change your environment just a little bit when you need to focus. even just moving to a different corner of your room, putting on your glasses, or wearing a specific hoodie can signal to your brain that it’s time to study. it’s kind of like tricking your mind into productivity mode.

showing up, even when it’s messy ✧˖°

you don’t need to have your life perfectly together to be productive. i promise you. everyone has days when they just feel off. but the difference between people who get stuff done and those who don’t isn’t motivation, it’s showing up regardless.

➼ stop waiting for the “perfect” moment there’s never going to be a moment where you feel 100% ready. you’re always going to have some stress, some doubt, or some distraction. just start messy. give yourself permission to do a half-hearted job at first. it’s better than not starting at all.

➼ focus on progress, not perfection your brain will always convince you that if you’re not doing something perfectly, it’s not worth doing at all. challenge that mindset. doing a messy 20-minute study session is still better than not studying at all. make it a rule to aim for progress, not perfection.

𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚒𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎 > 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 ✧˖°

people make discipline sound like this harsh, almost militaristic concept, but it’s actually just about consistency. it’s not punishing yourself; it’s respecting your own goals enough to follow through, even when you don’t feel like it.

➼ create a non-negotiable routine instead of asking yourself, “do i feel like studying right now?”, because the answer will probably be no. create a routine that you stick to no matter what. for example, set a rule that every day after lunch, you study for 30 minutes. don’t think about it, just do it.

➼ don’t make productivity an event treating productivity as something monumental only makes it scarier. it doesn’t have to be a whole thing. just showing up to your desk and doing something, even a little, keeps the momentum going.

𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 ✧˖°

you know that feeling when you don’t want to go to the gym, but once you’re there, you’re like, “okay, i’m here, might as well work out”? same thing with studying. prove to yourself that motivation isn’t required by just showing up and starting. once you’re in it, it’s way less daunting and scary.

➼ celebrate tiny wins even if you just read one page or write a single paragraph, acknowledge that. the more you reward your brain for even the smallest efforts, the easier it becomes to do it again tomorrow.

➼ journal about your progress keep a small log of what you did each day. it could just be one sentence like, “studied chem for 15 minutes.” looking back on that list will make you realize you’re actually doing more than you think, which is super motivating on days when you feel stuck.

𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚢’𝚜 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚒𝚙𝚜 ✧˖°

➼ find your “why” remind yourself why you’re doing this. not just the surface-level stuff, but the deeper reason. is it to feel proud of yourself? to secure your future? to make your family proud? put that reason somewhere you can see it when you’re working.

➼ treat yourself like you would a friend if your friend was struggling to study, you wouldn’t call them lazy. you’d encourage them. be kind to yourself. sometimes just showing up is enough. give yourself credit for trying, even if it’s not perfect.

𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 ✧˖°

motivation might be what gets you started, but discipline is what keeps you going. stop romanticizing motivation as the key to success, it’s way too inconsistent. instead, focus on building small, consistent habits that don’t rely on feeling inspired. remember, you just need to start.

[vamphorica]

Bear with me on this one, but I think the parallels between Mello and Light need to be discussed.

Due to the very nature of Mello being L's successor, and L being as much of a foil to Light as one can be in fiction, there are obviously going to be various overlaps in that regard (as is the case with Near and Light, too). However, I do think that in Mello, we see several discrepancies from L and Near in how he navigates the Kira case, which are far more confrontational to Light because there's an understanding of Light, the human, rather than Kira, the omniscient God. I think that kind of awareness can be interpreted as a familiarity with Light's personality. With Mello being more socially adept than L and Near, there are several similarities between himself and Light that make his attacks more effective.

We can start with the very simple comparison between them: they are both criminals who commit their crimes with the intent to seek justice. Granted, I think it can be generally agreed that the manner of their crimes contrast, with Mello more prone to kidnapping and traumatising victims for an instant response, whereas Light grants instantaneous heart attacks to his victims in pursuit of humanity's eventual utopia coming to fruition (incredibly noble of him). Yet the fact still remains that they both have blood on their hands as a means to achieve their shared ambition of righting the world's wrongs, even if what that looks like differs between the two of them.

It should also be noted that Mello's victims tend to be individuals with a personal connection to the case in some capacity. This isn't a justification for his kidnap of Sayu, or holding Halle at gunpoint, but I think it is interesting that while Light will kill anyone and everyone he deems as 'rotten', in a very methodical and distant capacity, Mello very much takes advantage of the relationships people have with one another when choosing his victims. He realises very quickly that Takimura was not a good enough candidate to obtain the Death Note, hence why he ends up abducting Sayu. It is implied Light kills Takimura, and it serves as yet another example that his intent to rid the world of criminals extends to an intent to rid anyone who gets in his way, regardless of whether he agrees with their morality.

Returning to similarities between them, I think Mello and Light's histories are interesting to analyse in comparison to one another. Both men were highly intelligent children who grew up in environments where they faced a significant amount of pressure as a direct result. Mello's childhood is simple to analyse here — he was raised in an orphanage where he fought to become L's successor. Light requires a little more nuance. There is speculation as to whether Light suffered from the expectations placed upon him by his parents, and while I certainly don't believe he had to deal with the same intensity instilled at Wammy's, I do think there is a strong sense of reputation in the Yagami household that both Soichiro and Light frequently embody throughout the series, which is a pressure in of itself. You can tell even from Light's disdain towards Misa that the idea of someone else adopting the persona of the 'authentic' Kira means he is very conscious about his own image. While I personally don't see much merit to the idea that Light grew up in an abusive household, and Mello was certainly the one who dealt with higher expectations from a younger age, the environments in which they were raised both defined their ambitions to be as extreme as they became.

If we are going to delve into trauma, they actually share one, which revolves around Soichiro. Regardless of your feelings on the man and the motivations he had for each instance, Soichiro threatened to kill both Light and Mello at certain points in the series. I could (and probably will eventually) write a whole essay on the scene in which Soichiro holds Light at gunpoint, because I genuinely think it is one of the most horrifying, yet underrated, events in the whole manga. Even though the entire ordeal was conducted under L's directive, I think it goes without saying that the effect this would have had on Light was incredibly damaging, even more so because he had forfeited his memories at this time.

Mello is more mentally resillient to the possibility of losing his life by the time he is confronted by Soichiro, but his reaction to hearing his name spelt out aloud indicates a certain disturbance, even if just in response to the reality that Soichiro has the Shinigami Eyes. Needless to say, Mello has to contend with the fact that Soichiro can kill him, and undoubtedly expects he will. Light also expected his father to kill him in the car years before. The difference, of course, is that Soichiro cannot convince Mello in his act for as long as he did with Light.

This is extremely tenous, I admit, but a small voice in the back of my head does wonder if Soichiro's apparent reluctance to kill Mello could be traced back to a guilt in putting on the performance of executing his son. After all, Mello is at this point roughly the same age as Light was, and maybe Soichiro saw a brief resemblance between the two that caused him to falter. There are many interpretations of this scene, so I am not supposing this is the fundamental reason behind his hesitancy, but I wanted to mention it because it could be another possible connection between Light and Mello recognised within the series.

I also think Light's death is not reflected in anyone else to quite the same extent as Mello's. By this I mean to say that Light's conviction that he is the only one who could have "done it" and "come this far" is true to some extent in regard to being Kira, but not so much in chasing his goal to his dying breath. Even L at times is shown to be utterly depressed by the state of the case and while a lot of that was an act to provike Light, I get the impression that L's relationship with Light (and I am talking about the canonical relationship here) ended up serving as a detriment in arresting Light as quickly as he ought to have done after Higuichi. Even if L ultimately sacrificed himself while working on the case, L's death, as shocking as it was, was relatively quiet and anticlimatic all things considered.

So if we consider Mello and Light's respective deaths, a few days apart from one another, we can see that they both died as a direct result of their ambition. Additionally, you could say both their deaths were actually positive for the narrative as a whole - don't get me wrong, I wish Mello had survived, I really do, but without his death, the likelihood of Near successfully exposing Light as Kira would have diminished substantially, as Near himself admits. I don't think I really need to explain how Light's death was beneficial to the plot, do I?

Very quick tangent about Takada, but through her, we have a unique parallel of Light and Mello. From her perspective, Mello is the enemy who kidnapped seeks to endanger Takada, while Light is the hero who she can rely on as long as she does what he says and trusts in him. The reality suggests an opposition to this viewpoint. While yes, kidnapping people is bad, Mello shows no actual signs of seeking to harm Takada, and seems concerned with her dignity and agency, in spite of the fact that in doing so, it costs him his life. Light, meanwhile, immediately condemns Takada to the horrific death of setting herself alight, negating any possibility that he had her best interests in mind.

Finally, would this be a Certified Vamphorica Essay without me bringing up religious imagery? I think this adds a fascinating element of conflict to Mello and Light's relationship, if we are under the interpretation that Mello believes in God, but is actively going against a man who calls himself God. I've written more about religion in Death Note more broadly here if you're interested.

Ultimately, there are plenty of disimilarities between Mello and Light, and I'm not trying to assert the narrative that they are one and the same. However, I do particularly like the interpretation that they are more alike than either would be willing to admit, and it is this connection that perhaps contributes to how effective Mello's attacks are against Light, encouraging him to surrender the Death Note. I wish we had a little more interaction between the two, but that's where fandom can deliver, I'm sure.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The GOP is not the party of workers

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/12/13/occupy-the-democrats/#manchin-synematic-universe

The GOP says it's the "party of the working class" and indeed, they have promoted numerous policies that attack select groups within the American ruling class. But just because the party of unlimited power for billionaires is attacking a few of their own, it doesn't make them friends to the working people.

The best way to understand the GOP's relationship to worker is through "boss politics" – that's where one group of elites consolidates its power by crushing rival elites. All elites are bad for working people, so any attack on any elite is, in some narrow sense, "pro-worker." What's more, all elites cheat the system, so any attack on any elite is, again, "pro-fairness."

In other words, if you want to prosecute a company for hurting workers, customers, neighbors and the environment, you have a target-rich environment. But just because you crush a corrupt enterprise that's hurting workers, it doesn't mean you did it for the workers, and – most importantly – it doesn't mean that you will take workers' side next time.

Autocrats do this all the time. Xi Jinping engaged in a massive purge of corrupt officials, who were indeed corrupt – but he only targeted the corrupt officials that made up his rivals' power-base. His own corrupt officials were unscathed:

https://web.archive.org/web/20181222163946/https://peterlorentzen.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Lorentzen-Lu-Crackdown-Nov-2018-Posted-Version.pdf

Putin did this, too. Russia's oligarchs are, to a one, monsters. When Putin defenestrates a rival – confiscates their fortune and sends them to prison – he acts against a genuinely corrupt criminal and brings some small measure of justice to that criminal's victims. But he only does this to the criminals who don't support him:

https://www.npr.org/sections/money/2022/03/29/1088886554/how-putin-conquered-russias-oligarchy

The Trump camp – notably JD Vance and Josh Hawley – have vowed to keep up the work of the FTC under Lina Khan, the generationally brilliant FTC Chair who accomplished more in four years than her predecessors have in 40. Trump just announced that he would replace Khan with Andrew Ferguson, who sounds like an LLM's bad approximation of Khan, promising to deal with "woke Big Tech" but also to end the FTC's "war on mergers." Ferguson may well plow ahead with the giant, important tech antitrust cases that Khan brought, but he'll do so because this is good grievance politics for Trump's base, and not because Trump or Ferguson are committed to protecting the American people from corporate predation itself:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/12/the-enemy-of-your-enemy/#is-your-enemy

Writing in his newsletter today, Hamilton Nolan describes all the ways that the GOP plans to destroy workers' lives while claiming to be a workers' party, and also all the ways the Dems failed to protect workers and so allowed the GOP to outlandishly claim to be for workers:

https://www.hamiltonnolan.com/p/you-cant-rebrand-a-class-war

For example, if Ferguson limits his merger enforcement to "woke Big Tech" companies while ending the "war on mergers," he won't stop the next Albertson's/Kroger merger, a giant supermarket consolidation that just collapsed because Khan's FTC fought it. The Albertson's/Kroger merger had two goals: raising food prices and slashing workers' wages, primarily by eliminating union jobs. Fighting "woke Big Tech" while waving through mergers between giant companies seeking to price-gouge and screw workers does not make you the party of the little guy, even if smashing Big Tech is the right thing to do.

Trump's hatred of Big Tech is highly selective. He's not proposing to do anything about Elon Musk, of course, except to make Musk even richer. Musk's net worth has hit $447b because the market is buying stock in his companies, which stand to make billions from cozy, no-bid federal contracts. Musk is a billionaire welfare queen who hates workers and unions and has a long rap-sheet of cheating, maiming and tormenting his workforce. A pro-worker Trump administration could add labor conditions to every federal contract, disqualifying businesses that cheat workers and union-bust from getting government contracts.

Instead, Trump is getting set to blow up the NLRB, an agency that Reagan put into a coma 40 years ago, until the Sanders/Warren wing of the party forced Biden to install some genuinely excellent people, like general counsel Jennifer Abruzzo, who – like Khan – did more for workers in four years than her predecessors did in 40. Abruzzo and her colleagues could have remained in office for years to come, if Democratic Senators had been able to confirm board member Lauren McFerran (or if two of those "pro-labor" Republican Senators had voted for her). Instead, Joe Manchin and Kirsten Synema rushed to the Senate chamber at the last minute in order to vote McFerran down and give Trump total control over the NLRB:

https://www.axios.com/2024/12/11/schumer-nlrb-vote-manchin-sinema

This latest installment in the Manchin Synematic Universe is a reminder that the GOP's ability to rebrand as the party of workers is largely the fault of Democrats, whose corporate wing has been at war with workers since the Clinton years (NAFTA, welfare reform, etc). Today, that same corporate wing claims that the reason Dems were wiped out in the 2024 election is that they were too left, insisting that the path to victory in the midterms and 2028 is to fuck workers even worse and suck up to big business even more.

We have to take the party back from billionaires. No Dem presidential candidate should ever again have "proxies" who campaign to fire anti-corporate watchdogs like Lina Khan. The path to a successful Democratic Party runs through worker power, and the only reliable path to worker power runs through unions.

Nolan's written frequently about how bad many union leaders are today. It's not just that union leaders are sitting on historically unprecedented piles of cash while doing less organizing than ever, at a moment when unions are more popular than they've been in a century with workers clamoring to join unions, even as union membership declines. It's also that union leaders have actually endorsed Trump – even as the rank and file get ready to strike:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Yz_Z08KwKgFt3QvnV8nEETSgTXM5eZw5ujT4BmQXEWk/edit?link_id=0&can_id=9481ac35a2682a1d6047230e43d76be8&source=email-invitation-to-cover-amazon-labor-union-contract-fight-rally-cookout-on-monday-october-14-2024-2&email_referrer=email_2559107&email_subject=invitation-to-cover-jfk8-workers-authorize-amazon-labor-union-ibt-local-1-to-call-ulp-strike&tab=t.0

The GOP is going to do everything it can to help a tiny number of billionaires defeat hundreds of millions of workers in the class war. A future Democratic Party victory will come from taking a side in that class war – the workers' side. As Nolan writes:

If billionaires are destroying our country in order to serve their own self-interest, the reasonable thing to do is not to try to quibble over a 15% or a 21% corporate tax rate. The reasonable thing to do is to eradicate the existence of billionaires. If everyone knows our health care system is a broken monstrosity, the reasonable thing to do is not to tinker around the edges. The reasonable thing to do is to advocate Medicare for All. If there is a class war—and there is—and one party is being run completely by the upper class, the reasonable thing is for the other party to operate in the interests of the other, much larger, much needier class. That is quite rational and ethical and obvious in addition to being politically wise.

Nolan's remedy for the Democratic Party is simple and straightforward, if not easy:

The answer is spend every last dollar we have to organize and organize and strike and strike. Women are workers. Immigrants are workers. The poor are workers. A party that is banning abortion and violently deporting immigrants and economically assaulting the poor is not a friend to the labor movement, ever. (An opposition party that cannot rouse itself to participate on the correct side of the ongoing class war is not our friend, either—the difference is that the fascists will always try to actively destroy unions, while the Democrats will just not do enough to help us, a distinction that is important to understand.)

Cosigned.

[darlingweareatragedy]

your move princess - part 2

Warnings: jealousy, possessiveness,obsessiveness , manipulation, power struggle, NON-CON, DUB-CON, drug use, alcohol use, roofie use, captivity,  forced marriage

Summary ~ Rafe Cameron has been a thorn in your side since freshman year...cocky, entitled, and impossible to ignore. You’ve always brushed off his flirting as nothing serious. But when your rivalry heats up, you start to see there’s more beneath that smirk … something darker, and far more dangerous than just a crush.

part 1

Political Philosophy used to be your favorite class.

It was the one space on campus where you could stretch your brain instead of your legs in four-inch heels. Where Socratic debate was encouraged, and you could argue debate your way to an A. It was your weekly sanctuary, sharp arguments, sharper outfits, and the very attractive TA who definitely clocked your well written essays and color-coded notes.

At least, it was your sanctuary.

Until Rafe Cameron decided to ruin it. Like he ruins everything.

He flopped down in the seat right next to yours with all the grace of a frat boy hung over and too much ego. His arm brushed yours casually as he leaned back, way too comfortable in your personal space.

“Princess,” he greeted, grinning like you’d missed him.

You didn’t look up from your MacBook. “Wrong seat.”

He leaned in a little, voice low and mocking. “No assigned seating. Remember? We’re in college now Princess, not Kook Academy.”

“I guess I just assumed you’d skip again,” you said, typing harder.

“What can I say? You’re inspiring.” He peered at your screen. “Big words and eye rolls. It’s like foreplay with you.”

You snapped your laptop shut and gave him a look sharp enough to cut through Plato’s Republic.

“You’re unbelievable.”

He smirked. “So I’ve heard.”

Across the room, Liv settled into her usual seat next to Topper, Rafe’s best friend and frat brother, which was the real reason you were suffering through this now. Liv and Topper were in that “casually hooking up” stage, which meant where Liv went, Topper and Rafe followed.

You’d begged her to just not mention class schedules. She’d done the opposite.

Traitor.

Professor Hayes strolled in, trailed by your favorite TA, Lucas, all hipster glasses and rolled-up sleeves and you tried to re-center your mind.

Focus.

This was your class.

“Today we’re discussing Hobbes and Locke,” Hayes began, scribbling on the whiteboard. “The nature of man, and whether society civilizes or corrupts.”

You raised your hand, already prepared to destroy whatever sophomore tried to claim Hobbes was “just misunderstood.”

Until you heard his voice.

“Seems like Hobbes had a point,” Rafe said casually, addressing the room like he hadn’t shown up thirty minutes late last week. “People suck. Give ‘em rules or they go feral.”

Hayes nodded. “You agree with Hobbes’ idea of a brutish natural state?”

Rafe shrugged. “I live in a frat house. So, yeah.”

A couple people laughed.

You did not.

“Actually,” you cut in, your voice sickly sweet, “Hobbes’ entire theory rests on the assumption that people are inherently selfish. But Locke argued that people are rational and capable of cooperation. So maybe it says more about your environment than human nature.”

Rafe raised a brow, clearly amused. “So, you’re saying your sorority is an example of civilized utopia?”

“My sorority runs better than half of Congress. So yes.”

The class chuckled again. You spied Lucas your TA giving an approving nod slightly in the corner of your eye. This was where you thrived.

But then he leaned in again, voice low just for you. “It’s cute how you get so worked up over this Princess.”

You turned toward him and snapped,“If I wanted distractions in class, I’d FaceTime my dog.”

He grinned wider. “He might be less fun to argue with.”

"Enough flirting”, Professor Hayes interrupted. You flushed in embarrassment , you didn't mean to be loud but Rafe just had a way of getting under your skin.

God, he was infuriating.

You looked to the front again, resisting the urge to snap a pencil in half. Every part of you wanted to pretend Rafe Cameron didn’t exist, but somehow, he was always there, trailing Liv and Topper, popping up in your lectures, and now? Infecting your one sacred class with smug one-liners and infuriating eye contact.

And the worst part?

You didn’t totally hate it.

Which was a problem.

Because you could handle cocky. You could handle hot. You could even handle dumb. But Rafe Cameron was all three and he was starting to look at you like you were a puzzle he wanted to figure out.

You were going to have to shut that down.

Fast.

But as class wrapped up and Rafe stood, stretching like he hadn’t spent the entire hour toying with your sanity, he looked down at you with a smile far too genuine.

“See you next time, Princess,” he said, and walked off with Topper like he hadn’t just declared war.

You didn’t answer.

You scoffed, glaring at his retreating back.

Because two could play this game.

And you weren’t losing to Rafe Cameron.

But beneath the banter, the real problem wasn’t what he said—it was the way he looked at you. Like you weren’t just a girl in his class. Like you were his next game.

And you’d seen enough broken hearts on your sorority’s living room couch to know exactly how that ended.

You’d dabbed away mascara-streaked tears, handed out tissues and revenge playlists. You knew what happened when girls fell for that smirk, those eyes. Rafe Cameron collected heartbreaks like trophies. So if he thought he could add you to his shelf?

He had another thing coming.

You were going to make him fall.

And when he did, you’d make him pay for every tear, every story, every “I thought he liked me” whispered through lip-glossed sobs.

You didn’t want his heart.

You wanted the win.

Which is why you absolutely didn’t care when he showed up during your office hours.

The Wednesday after class, you showed up to office hours early. Not because you needed help, you had Locke’s theories mapped out like Pinterest boards, but because Lucas, your very attractive, very smart TA, always had a way of making your interest in political theory feel like something rare and admirable.

Also, his sleeves were always rolled up in just the right way.

“Hey,” he greeted with a warm smile when you knocked on the doorframe. “You’re early.”

You smiled back, setting your annotated copy of Leviathan on the desk between you. “I figured I’d beat the crowd.”

He gestured to the chair across from him. “Always a pleasure. What’s on your mind?”

You slid into the seat with practiced poise, brushing invisible lint from your skirt. “Honestly? Just wanted to bounce some ideas about Locke’s social contract. And maybe… get your thoughts on how it ties into modern systems of consent.”

Luca blinked, then smiled like he was genuinely impressed. “You’ve got range. That’s a great angle. Let’s dig in.”

The two of you dove into a lively back-and-forth, your words quick, your thoughts sharper. He laughed at your commentary. You laughed at his dry, academic sarcasm. It was fun. And you couldn’t help but notice that his gaze lingered just a beat too long on your lip gloss when you smiled.

He smiled back, and you clocked the way his eyes dropped for a second too long to your lips, to your neckline, to the curve of your collarbone framed by your open pink cardigan.

It wasn’t inappropriate. Not exactly. Just... noticeable.

“You ever think about grad school?” he asked, voice a little quieter now.

You tilted your head. “Sometimes. Depends who’s writing the recommendation.”

He blinked, then laughed. “Well, if you ever need one—”

The door opened.

You didn’t need to turn to know who it was.

The air shifted.

Rafe’s voice followed. Too calm. Too casual.

“Wow,” Rafe said lazily, leaning against the doorframe like he had every right to be there. “Didn’t realize office hours doubled as date night.”

You froze, your expression neutral,

Lucas looked up. “Hey. Uh, you here for office hours?”

Rafe didn’t answer him.

He was staring at you.

You closed your notebook slowly. “What are you doing here, Rafe?”

He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Just came by to… support my fellow classmates. Or whatever.”

Lucas, still trying to play professor, offered: “We were just talking about Locke. Social contract theory.”

You stood, the chair scraping behind you. “You don’t even know what a social contract is.”

Rafe’s smirk didn’t falter. “Sure I do. You ask someone to hang out, they say yes, and boom—contract.”

Typical Rafe. Joking, deflecting.

Lucas gave a short, nervous exhale. “Not quite. But points for effort.”

At this Rafe's smirk faded, just enough for something colder to slip through the cracks.

His jaw clenched, eyes flicking from you to Lucas and back again.

“Cool,” he said. “Didn’t realize we were doing one-on-one tutoring now.”

The shift was subtle, but the energy in the room turned. Rafe wasn’t just teasing anymore, he was watching. Calculating. Possessive, even if he wouldn’t say it out loud.

You stood, voice clipped. “It’s not tutoring. It’s office hours. You know where people go to learn”.

Rafe tilted his head, lips twitching like he was trying not to laugh. “Oh, I’m learning plenty.”

But his eyes stayed on you, like he was trying to memorize the way you looked when someone else had your attention.

Like he didn’t plan on letting it happen again.

“Looked a little closer than that.”

Lucas cleared his throat, suddenly awkward. “Uh, we were just finishing up—”

“I bet,” Rafe said, flat.

Your stomach twisted. The heat coming off him wasn’t just arrogance, it was territorial. His eyes burned with it, dark and dangerous. Like he was seconds away from putting his fist through a wall just to prove a point.

“I should go,” you said to Lucas. “Thanks.”

You tried to walk past Rafe without touching him, but his hand came up, lightly, just two fingers brushing your wrist. Enough to make you stop.

“Walk you out,” he said, not a question.

You didn’t want to cause a scene. Not with Lucas watching.

So you nodded once and walked.

He waited until you were down the hall before speaking.

“What the fuck was that?”

You froze mid-step. “Excuse me?”

“Don’t play dumb.” He stepped in front of you. Too close. “You were flirting with him.”

You stared. “Are you actually serious right now?”

“He had his eyes all over you. You didn’t stop it.”

Your laugh was cold. “What, you policing where people look now?”

Rafe leaned in, jaw clenched. “You let him talk to you like he knows you. That’s not how this works.”

“This?” you echoed. “There is no ‘this,’ Cameron.”

He stared at you, something sharp and possessive breaking through the lazy grin. “You keep telling yourself that.”

You turned, heart pounding, but his voice followed:

“You can flirt with him all you want. Just remember, he doesn’t know you like I do.”

You spun. “You don’t know me at all.”

He didn’t blink. “I know you hate being underestimated. I know you don’t actually give a shit about half the guys you hang around with, you just like being the smartest person in the room.”

You swallowed hard.

He stepped closer.

“I know you work twice as hard for half the recognition. I know you’ve got every reading color-coded and memorized and still think you haven’t done enough.”

His voice dropped.

“And I know you think I’m just some rich asshole trying to ruin your life.”

You exhaled, slow and shaky. “You are a rich asshole trying to ruin my life.”

He smiled again, but this one was dangerous. “Nah. If I wanted to ruin you... I’d already have done it.”

You didn’t speak.

Couldn’t.

He stepped back, finally giving you room to breathe. But as he turned to walk away, he glanced over his shoulder.

Eyes dark. Mouth curled.

“Office hours, huh?” he muttered. “Cute.”

And then he was gone.

Outside the door, Liv waited, arms crossed, her usual playful smirk bright as ever. In her hand was a cup of matcha, the peace offering she’d promised after spilling your class schedule to Topper.

“Matcha for the queen of political philosophy,” she said cheerfully, holding it out like a peace treaty.

You accepted it with a strained smile, but your eyes drifted to a darker corner just beyond the building where Rafe still lingered, watching with that quiet intensity.

Liv sipped her drink, completely oblivious to the tension hanging between you and Rafe. “He crashed your office hours?”

You nodded slowly, feeling a strange chill creep over you despite the warm afternoon sun streaming through the windows.

“I don’t know what his deal is. It’s like every time I try to take something seriously, he swoops in like it’s some kind of joke. Like I’m the joke.” you vented to Liv.

Liv laughed, shaking her head. “You’re overthinking it. He’s just being his usual annoying self.”

But you knew better.

That smirk, that look, it wasn’t just teasing.

It was something darker. A quiet claim. The kind that made your skin prickle and your instincts go rigid, even as your lips curved into a practiced smile.

Still, you forced yourself to shake it off.

Because Rafe Cameron was not a factor. You had papers to write, a GPA to protect, and a very attractive TA who was definitely noticing you for your mind.

And Rafe?

He was just background noise.

Loud, distracting, dangerously magnetic background noise.

But background noise all the same....right?

[daphlandia]

essay about helena eagan 1

First of all, you need to know that nothing in this world could ever stop me from loving her.

Let’s go back to the very beginning, what kind of person decides to have severance procedure? If we look at the examples: Mark chose it bc he didn’t want to deal with grief, Irving bc he was lonely (and for reasons still a little unclear) and Dylan bc he couldn’t find a place for himself in the outside world.

But what about Helena? The future CEO of the company that invented this procedure. She says she did it to help her father and bc it sounded freaking awesome. Everything is a game, lie. It’s all about appearances, about making things look better from the outside. But what’s actually going on inside this woman’s mind?

You’re born, you grow up and you stay locked in the same environment your whole life. You never have real friends. You grow up under strict rules, subjected to years of emotional abuse. You’re 30 years old and still living with your father who happens to be an absolutely terrifying man. She’s a woman with nowhere else to go except Lumon or that creepy house.

When someone offers her this idea the chance to escape for 8 hours a day ofc she’s going to think it’s freaking awesome. For 8 hours, she could be someone else. Maybe she could make friends. Maybe she could be happy. She’s someone who holds to maybes.

Helena was so excited before getting that chip implanted in her brain. When you’re miserable and trapped, you’d do anything take any risk just to feel a little happiness. I honestly don’t think Lumon’s advertisement even mattered to her at that point. I believe Helena always dreamed of being someone else. Of being born into another family. And now even if it was just for 8 hours she had that chance. It’s no wonder that a woman with such a miserable life would jump at this idea.

And so, she became Helly. Suddenly she had two friends and a father figure. And then one of those friends turned into the love of her life.

Helena had given herself a way out an opportunity but Helly didn’t want to stay there. Why? Bc she felt trapped too. This in itself is proof that big feelings love, loneliness, hope can transcend severance.

The escape route Helena created for herself became a prison for Helly (at least for now). Helly tried to escape over and over. She even threatened to cut off her own fingers. Helena said some brutal lines to Helly lines that cut like a knife:

"I understand that you’re unhappy with the life you’ve been given, but you know what? Eventually we all have to accept reality."

You’re unhappy just like me. Accept reality just like me. Try to be happy with the life you’ve been given bc Helena didn’t believe she could find another way out. For her, being someone else for 8 hours was the best thing she could do for herself. And she wanted Helly to do the same. Helena is someone who just wants to be happy, to exist, to live. Someone who’s never been loved, never experienced real affection.

Then one day Innies rebelled. And Helena who knew nothing about the life her Innie had started watching it on the screen. The look on her face shock, admiration it’s mesmerizing.

She smiles when she sees Helly joking with Mark. She can’t believe it. Is that really me? Honestly seeing Helly happy made her happy.

And then she sees Helly (herself) kiss Mark. Maybe Helena had never even experienced that in her own life. She freezes, can’t believe it. Who knows how many times she watched it.

At that moment -her hunger for love, for touch, for connection- overwhelmed her.

What did it feel like to be loved when she had never experienced it? And now this person she created for herself for just 8 hours was experiencing it. Helena had even told Helly: “I am a person. You are not.” And yet Helly had a better life than she did. Helly had love. That shook her to the core.

Let’s be honest (Britt’s voice :d) if you were Helena, you would do anything to be Helly.

And then she found herself on severed floor. The man she had seen on the camera was there and he hugged her tightly. Probably no one had ever hugged her like that before. She was welcomed with such warmth. He was saying, “I was so worried about you.” worried, for her? While her own father didn’t even care, Mark cared.

She needed to experience that kind of love it wasn’t a want it was a need. Deep down, maybe she already knew this would eventually come to an end but sometimes, you just want to enjoy the journey. That’s exactly what Helena did.

She was going to live through love, affection, friendship, and a sense of family all the things she wasn’t allowed to experience outside. No matter what.

Then came that moment their first time alone in the hallway. When she asked i-Mark, after learning that Ms. Casey was his wife, if they were happy in their wedding photo. His answer upset Helena. Bc his wife is alive and o-Mark wouldn’t want to stay here with her (at least not at that moment). And that felt like losing i-Mark the one from the screen, the man Helly and herself were in love with. What if he didn’t stay? Losing the only love you might ever have...

And when i-Mark realized Hellyna was upset, he said: “I never liked Ms. Casey, and I never felt that way.” Never felt that way? He never felt what he felt with Helly with anyone else.

And this came from a man who couldn’t even understand the difference between Helly and Helena. Do you see? He loved her sm that i-Mark couldn’t see the difference bc what his feelings transcend severance. The plan was simple he would save Ms. Casey and reunite her with o-Mark. And he would continue his love story with Hellyna. Helena was going to help him bc that’s what Helly would do. And contrary to what some people think I don’t think Helena is cruel. Despite her feelings for Mark, she was okay with the idea of reuniting o-Mark with Gemma.

She was happy spending time with him, walking through those labyrinthine hallways, discovering new places, feeling that tension in the corner of a corridor is he going to kiss me now?

Helly had experienced her first kiss but Helena?

And then they found themselves in a snowy forest. Everything was so natural and wild. Helena was happy by Mark’s side, making fun of the Kier family nonsense, laughing so hard her dimples showed... And Mark was responding, laughing at her jokes, even bursting into laughter.

Maybe Helena wasn’t so different from Helly anymore… Or maybe Helena was thinking “If I had grown up in a normal environment, I would have been just like Helly.”

And she was so happy and in love by the campfire. Until her happiness started to be overshadowed. She began facing the possibility of losing the only thing she had. She lashed out hurt Irving and immediately regretted it. Irving was a lonely soul, too and that’s why he was the only one who noticed Helena.

The fun was over. In her tent, she was genuinely upset, regretful, and a little angry. Who knows how many times she had been in this state alone in her room and no one ever knocked on her door asking if she was okay.

But Mark was there. He came to her tent asking if she was alright, even comforting her saying like forget it “He kind of deserved it.” All of this was new for Helena. And I’m not surprised some people don’t understand how much that means to her. And she was about to have her first kiss. Their eyes were shining both of them.

Helena, just like Helly, had fallen in love with i-Mark.

Some might think this was deception bc i-Mark was in love with Helly but his love was so big that he couldn’t tell the difference between Helly and Helena two sides of the same coin. He loved every single thing Helena hated about herself just the way she was. Helena was tasting for the first time, touch, gaze, kiss, embrace of a genuinely loving person.

And she wanted to engrave every moment into her memory rarely closing her eyes as if closing them would mean never seeing him again. Her love for Mark was so big it brings tears to my eyes even thinking about it.

For the first time this was Helena; vulnerable, transparent, open.

She was so happy but at the same time, the thought of him being in love with Helly was constantly in her head. And on top of that, she was the future CEO of Lumon scarred and impossible from many directions. And she didn’t even like being Helena.

While looking at Mark with loving eyes and seeing him look back at her the same way she wanted to let go of all her burdens, tell him everything but all she could say was that she didn’t like who she was outside. Her whole body was trembling she didn’t want to lose Mark. And Mark said one of the most beautiful things she could ever hear:

"I don’t care who you are out there. I care who you are with me. That’s all."

It was so simple. Helly or Helena it didn’t matter. They were the same person and everything was okay when she was with Mark. And maybe, for the first time, Helena who didn’t see herself as worthy of love became sure that i-Mark loved her just like this just as she was.

About the parts where Helena pretends like Helly.

[calina-alda]

What moral boundaries do you think Leon is willing to blur for Albert, and what actions of Albert he will never be able to accept (or will he accept them anyway)?

How do they deal with Albert being a «villain» and Leon being a «hero»?

And in the end, will Leon be able to save Albert from his dark side?

That’s such a complex question and one I’ve thought about a lot while writing Falling Through the Cracks. Honestly, I could write a whole essay about it, but I’ll try to keep it somewhat brief, lol

Let’s start with Leon.

He has a strong moral compass, and while older, more hardened Leon doesn’t see the world in black and white the way rookie Leon once did, he still fundamentally believes in the good in people. That belief doesn’t make him naive, it’s actually what makes him so resilient. He knows how dark the world can be, but he chooses to keep his heart intact anyway.

When it comes to moral boundaries, there aren’t many Leon would be willing to blur, especially not the big ones. He would never excuse or justify Wesker’s past crimes, the people he’s killed, manipulated, or used. Leon would acknowledge that those actions were wrong, no matter the justification. But what he would believe in is the possibility of change. He’s seen it before, Luis being a great example. Leon is the type of person who believes people can do better if they genuinely want to, and he would support Wesker if he saw that he was trying to change and doing so honestly.

The only boundaries Leon might blur would be around how Wesker operates, especially if it’s about taking down bad people. Rookie Leon would’ve been firmly against any sort of vigilante or morally gray tactics. But older Leon? He’s more pragmatic. As long as innocent people aren’t harmed, he could accept that Wesker has a different way of dealing with threats. He wouldn’t like it, but he’d understand it, if it comes from a place of protecting rather than controlling.

Leon could very much be pulled in by Wesker, and not just emotionally. Wesker’s authority, his control, the danger he radiates, it’s all something that could deeply attract Leon, especially in moments where he feels lost or powerless. Wesker is the kind of man who commands a room, who never wavers, who always seems like he knows exactly what he's doing. For someone like Leon, who often feels like he's barely holding it together behind a composed front, that kind of dominance could be intoxicating.

There’s a version of their relationship, especially in a moment of vulnerability, where Leon could fall into something physical with Wesker. Something impulsive and charged with tension, desire, even comfort in a twisted way. But afterwards, he would drown in guilt and self-hatred. Because Leon knows who Wesker is. He knows what he’s done. And no amount of chemistry or connection could erase that.

Leon is someone who struggles with carrying the weight of everything, people he couldn't save, the moral compromises he's been forced to make over the years. And sleeping with someone like Wesker, knowing the blood on his hands, would haunt him. He would question his own judgment, his values, his identity as someone who is supposed to fight for good. The conflict would eat at him.

And that’s the thing, Leon could never justify their relationship if Wesker stays Wesker. If Wesker remains the man who believes in control, in domination, in sacrificing others for the sake of his ideals, then no matter what feelings Leon might have for him, it would never be enough. Leon would pull away. He would always feel torn, guilty, and ultimately heartbroken. Their dynamic would mirror the one Leon has with Ada in many ways. He’s always been drawn to her, always hoping she’d choose the right side. Wesker would be even more intense, would always be doomed to self-destruction.

When it comes to Wesker, opening up and relying on others would be one of the hardest things he could ever do. He was raised in an environment where vulnerability was seen as weakness, where trust only led to betrayal, and where the only way to survive was to stay three steps ahead of everyone else. Umbrella didn’t just train him, they dismantled him, piece by piece, until nothing was left but the perfect asset. His name, his identity, his autonomy, all of it stripped away and replaced with cold purpose. Even his ideology, his belief in superiority and control, wasn’t something he came to on his own. It was planted in him, like the virus, by Spencer and the system that raised him.

So for Wesker, the idea of letting someone in, truly letting them in, is foreign and terrifying. He’s spent his entire life being in control, emotionally detached, the one with the upper hand in every relationship. To rely on someone would mean admitting he needs them, and that's a kind of power he’s never been comfortable giving up. Even affection, to him, is a calculated risk.

Wesker has always seen humanity as corrupt, selfish, and weak-minded. But Leon? Leon is the exception. He’s strong and kind. He helps others not out of obligation or self-interest, but because he genuinely cares. He shows resilience without cruelty, vulnerability without weakness. He was also shaped into a weapon, but unlike Wesker, he never lost his heart. That contrast would deeply affect Wesker. It would confuse him, anger him even, because it challenges everything he’s built to protect himself.

He wouldn’t know how to handle it at first. He might lash out, retreat, test Leon’s patience and loyalty in cruel ways, because deep down, he’s terrified that if he opens that door, everything will come crashing down. That if someone sees him for who he really is, not the weapon, not the monster, but the broken, furious, abandoned man underneath, they’ll leave.

Learning to trust someone like Leon would be a slow, painful process. But if anyone could do it, it would be Leon. It wouldn’t be easy. For a man who’s spent his entire life building walls, learning to let someone in would be the hardest battle he’s ever fought.

Leon could be the person who shows Wesker what it means to be more than a tool or a project, he could teach him to be human again. And in turn, Wesker could be the one who helps Leon let his guard down and rely on someone else, without constantly needing to play the role of the unshakeable protector.

In the end, yes, I believe Leon could save Wesker, not in the typical “hero saves villain” sense, but by helping him rediscover who he is without all the programming and control. But it would only work if Wesker wants to be saved.

Welp, I think I went overboard... I am just so passionate about them, I can’t help it 🥲

[solacescastleglow]

Getting Out of Executive Dysfunction

Figure out what the actual problem is

Usually, for me, the issue is friction. Something's in the way, or I don't know how to proceed, so I sit there buffering without even realising what the actual problem is, just that I can't do it. This is how I get out of it:

1. What would this task look like if [it were easy/I had to do this in (x amount of time that's way shorter than normal)/I didn't care about the outcome]?

I got this from Struthless, but it does work. The concept is that often we overcomplicate things in our minds, so take a step back. What are the core things that absolutely need to get done? How can those things be done without faffing about with the details?

2. How would I explain this to a robot?

This alone can sometimes be enough. Write down in excruciating detail exactly what needs to be done. I'm talking 'Gather together homework, pencil case, and calculator. Sit down at dining table. Pick up pencil.' type specific. To save time, I have a step-by-step guide with pictures for everything I do often (showering, studying, etc.) and just reference that instead.

3. Where am I getting stuck?

Now, go through your list. Which bit of it is the problem? Is it that you can't write the whole essay, or are you struggling with the topic sentence? Skip that, and move on. If it's something that needs to be done in order to do the task, figure out why. Only now can you solve the problem, because you know what it is.

4. The dopamine sink issue

If the problem is just that it's boring or understimulating, look up dopamine menus and pick something from the 'sides' section. These are things that help lift your dopamine enough to get you to actually do it. Usually, it's things like media or other sensory input.

Systems

Now that you know what's wrong, you can start putting systems in place to solve them. You might think I'm talking about behavioural systems, but you can actually hack this with your environment. Get creative, and don't think about what's 'normal' or what you 'should' be able to do. As long as it works, it's not stupid. A couple of things to get you started:

If you want to do thing x over thing y, make thing y impossible without first coming across a reminder for thing x. For example, I wanted to make sure I exercised before using screens, so I started charging my devices under my yoga mat.

Habit stacking, if you have good habits that are second nature to you. I personally don't have those, so I can't really do that, but I've heard they're helpful.

Simple swaps that meet the same need, but have extra benefits. I'm looking into making my morning chai latte higher in protein, for example.

Automation can be really helpful, too.

[whencyclopedia]

The Ancient Greek symposium is often considered an important part of Greek culture, a place where the elite drank, feasted and indulged in sometimes decadent activities. Although such practices were present in symposia, the writing and performance of poetry is perhaps the most interesting and thought-provoking element of the ancient sympotic tradition. This essay aims to investigate the interestingly varied relationship between the symposium and poetry by approaching it on a number of different levels: the first exploring poetry's capability to inform its reader about the symposium and its associated practises; the second probing poetic relationships with and similarities to other key sympotic components, such as wine; the third questioning the suitability of poetry as a source for establishing the nature of such a relationship. From a modern perspective, that the symposium was a context for the performance of literature immediately and incontrovertibly implies a connection between poetry and the symposium. This then raises questions of the nature of said relationship: did poetry simply sing of sympotic activity, opening up the exclusive and elusive world of the Ancient Greek elite? How was the environment of the symposium particularly suited to the performance of poetry, and did this setting determine or in any way influence the kind of poetry performed? Xenophanes, a Greek philosopher, theologian, poet, and critic, provides a splendid account of sympotic customs, noting the setup of the wine mixing bowl, the food available, and the prayers and libations to the deities before proceedings begin, insinuating that there was a heavily ritualised character to the symposium. In addition, though writing almost a century earlier, Alcaeus, a Greek lyric poet, wrote the line, 'from Teian cups the wine drops fly,' which indicates the playing of drinking games of sorts. It is interesting to note the different times within which each poem was written; the large chronological gap between the two shows that the tradition of depicting sympotic events in poetry was not only maintained, but important. Although in many cases, as examined above, sympotic poetry seemingly provides descriptions and depictions of activities and events during the symposium, it has been argued that pictures of moderate drinking parties may not necessarily mirror reality but are rather a guide as to how to drink 'properly'. Considering also that the symposium was considered a centre for the transmission of traditional values, it seems logical that poetry should reflect not only the happenings but also the aims and intentions of the symposium. For example, Anacreon, writing in the 6th century BCE, provides not only guidance regarding the proper ratio of mixing water to wine: 'come boy, bring us a bowl so I can drink a sconce. Pour in ten ladlesful of water, five of wine, so I can bacchanize once more with no disgrace,' but he also advises on the manner in which one should consume wine, ' come now, this time let's drink not in this Scythian style with din and uproar, but sip to the sound of decent songs.' In addition, Alcaeus, a poet from around the 7th-6th centuries BCE, warns of the dangers of wine, 'if wine fetters the wits, often he hangs his head and blames himself, regretting what he's said, but its too late to take it back.' The occurrence of such guiding themes in poetry written almost 100 years apart emphasizes their importance and hints that such a relationship between the symposium and poetry was strong and continuous. These three instances demonstrate this poetic role and highlight a mutual exchange between the symposium and poetry; while the symposium may provide the subject matter, poetry can provide the constraints and guidance for such subject matter. This shows that already, although only following a brief investigation, the relationship between poetry and the symposium is more intricate than meets the eye. It has been established that a key aspect of the relationship between the symposium and poetry is poetry's ability to depict sympotic activities - the 'seen' components of the symposium, so to speak. However, the relationship assumes a new dimension when one considers the portrayal of the 'invisible' sympotic atmosphere through, rather than imagery and words, the very nature of sympotic poetry. The symposium as an exclusive gathering of elites implies an intimate and sheltered environment for the recitation of poetry. Pottery carrying depictions of the symposium show a keen focus on internal events amongst the participants, and an inward facing layout is suggested by Xenophanes, who points out 'the altar in the middle bedecked with flowers', which gives rise to the idea that the symposium was a gathering separate from the outside world. The repetition of this imagery in different kinds of sources lends strength and credibility to the case for an inwardly directed symposium. From here, parallels can be drawn between sympotic poetry and the arena in which it was performed for and written in. Exemplifying the notion of sympotic isolation, it has been suggested that Theognis, a sixth century BCE Greek lyric poet, saw the themes of sympotic poetry and the symposium as providing refuge from the corruption of Megara, which supports the idea of the sympotic environment as being very sheltered from the outside world. Similarly, although in a slightly lighter-hearted manner, Alcaeus shows the symposium to be an escape from the outside world, but in this case from the weather, 'defeat the weather; light a fire, mix the sweet wine unstintingly and put a nice soft cushion by my head.' Furthermore, although the earliest sympotic poetry may have actually been contemporary with early epic, the content of the respective genres varies widely, due in part perhaps to the different performance environments and audiences of each genre? Having investigated the more straightforward features of the relationship between the symposium and poetry, the time has come to direct attention to its more subtle and elusive constituents. Possibly the most interesting fact about this increasingly intricate relationship, is that poetry finds itself not only associated with the symposium as a whole, but linked in a labyrinthine manner to key elements within the symposium itself, such as wine. In other words, the connections between poetry and the symposium represent relationships within a relationship. It hardly needs to be said that wine was a key component of the symposium. What is curious is the way in which the characteristics of wine and poetry are closely related and in some cases interwoven. On the one hand, one could almost go so far as to argue that, poetry is the literary compliment of wine, and that in the context of the ancient symposium, poetry was approached in a manner not so far removed from the way in which wine was viewed. However, on the other, it could be claimed that poetry was the sympotic antithesis of wine, revealing a more complicated relationship between poetry and wine than may have previously been appreciated. It is evident that many characteristics of wine and poetry are intimately linked in the symposium. Alcaeus remarks that 'wine puts cares out of mind,' and that 'wine is a window into a man' properties shared also with poetry, especially that within the sympotic context which played upon particularly pleasurable themes, as aforementioned. Although parallels between the effects of wine and poetry have begun to emerge, this is not to say that wine and poetry work in the same way. Parallels can also be drawn, establishing a relationship, between wine and the composition of poetry. The historian Whitmarsh states that solids and liquids are not the same as food and drink, which require artfulness and cultivation. It is well established that wine was very much a cultivated and refined product, having been brought from outside into the home, drawing many parallels to the god Dionysos, a key player in the symposium. The writing and 'cultivation' of poetry by the author seems to reflect closely the winemaking process. Additionally, the heavily ritualised and controlled practice of mixing water with wine, mentioned previously in Anacreon's verse, can be interpreted as a mirroring of the careful art of fitting words into a regularly repeated meter then singing them to a tune of a similarly repetitive nature to the meter. Thus it is not unreasonable to suggest that poetry could in fact masquerade as the literary equivalent of wine. Despite the appearance of a harmonious and close relationship between poetry and wine, it can be seen that while poetry may hypothetically offer itself as the literary equivalent of wine in the symposium context, it can simultaneously act as a literary antithesis to wine, almost as a sympotic antidote. The fact that poetry and wine share similar capabilities, as expressed above, raises the question of whether poetry could be interpreted as a medium providing all the benefits of wine, yet without the risk of social embarrassment. The usefulness of ancient poetry as a source for studying the symposium cannot and should not be denied. However, it is important not to let this usefulness get in the way when trying to establish the relationship between the symposium and poetry, as the modern perspective of the relationship could cloud the ancient relationship. On the one hand, as shown above, poetry has a great deal to tell the reader, both implicitly and explicitly about the ancient symposium, demonstrating that it is a good source for establishing the relationship between the symposium and poetry. Yet on the other hand, the fact that a relationship can be seen between poetry and the symposium without much in-depth investigation into the matter raises the question of whether it would be better to consider other sources, such as pottery for example, so as to gain a wider and clearer perspective on the relationship. Lastly, it is interesting to ask why poetry is considered such a suitable source for establishing the relationship between the symposium and poetry; is it because, like the symposium, poetry was a key element of Greek culture which endured through time, therefore, the modern scholar is keen to link the two together in the aim of figuring out their method of survival? The relationship between poetry and the symposium was complex, increasingly so the deeper into individual sympotic elements one delves, finding more subtle connections and similarities all the time. There was also almost certainly a degree of mutual exchange between the two, with one influencing and inspiring the other and vice versa. One thing in particular stands out; that interpretations of the relationship between poetry and the symposium will continue to change and evolve over time, in much the same way that poetry and the symposium can be seen to have helped one another develop in the ancient world. The fact that an active relationship between two aspects of Ancient Greek culture can still be seen today is very exciting.

[daemon-in-my-head]

Bout that essay titled 'A study of Gortash's twisted love of humanity'- yk what fuck it here goes nothing. Back into a facists megalomaniacs mind we go. Spoiler; this is long.

But first of all; let's do a thought experiment. Let's just assume, for shits and giggles, Gortash's position would've somehow been swapped with any other the other chosen or another Banite:

Let's start with the Banites: if we had gotten anyone except for Gortash Baldur's Gate would've been fucked. Like genuinely. Banites are cruel, vicious, unashamedly gaudy (they suck ass at infiltration missions) and they exploit loopholes perhaps even better than fiends. Any other Banite would've simply reveled in the fear caused by rampant myrkulites and bhaalists and probably stoked that fire by employing some of their own forces. And depending on whether the Zhents join the winning side or not they would've probably used and abused the black network to absolutely dominate trade and potentially choke out every non desirable in the city itself by fun activities such as grand scale slavery, starving an entire city, or simply employing enough mercenaries and some Bhaalist to get the job done. Banites fuck everyone over so hard they usually don't even stop at themselves, and prideful cruel beings who know absolutely no bounds in their desire for power commonly don't hesitate, especially not Banites who thrive in backstabbing. So the other chosen and the grand design are fucked cuz they will most certainly get removed for the sake of someone more desirable the second they somehow irk Banes favourite toy. Which in some specific cases (all of them) would be in 5 minutes flat. If you thought the local nobility was bad just wait until you see a Banite in their natural environment.

Ketheric: Yeah Baldur's Gate is fucked. Ketheric cares about one thing and one thing only; Isobel. And he employs a bunch of sadistic necromancers who have no concept of personal boundaries or consent for that matter, so chances are he'd let them roam freely in Baldur's Gate, making the streets a huting ground for his followers to find prime subjects to perform inhumane experiments on all while he turns a blind eye; either busy trying to get Isobel under his (mind-) control, reviving her or treating a brainless puppet that looks and once was his daughter like his one true solution to decades of grief and fucking up. He wouldn't care about what happens to the city, to the other chosen or even the grand design. He'd follow his gods orders but thats about it and no matter whether that's still Myrkul or Bane; everyone's fucked cuz surpringly the guy who adores lichdom more than life and the other guy who'd rather 'burn everyone's fields than loose' aren't about to give out any orders that will benefit anyone but themselves.

Orin: Another great case of 'yeah Baldur's Gate is fucked'. Orin wants one thing and one thing only: recognition. Preferably from Bhaal but she'd take anyone at this point. The problem about this whole thing is, she's been conditioned and instilled with so much self-loathing my dearest murder princess can't even begin to realise when she's getting shown any sort of adoration anymore and immediately understands it as mockery, see, for example, her butler. Is what I would say if their corpse wasn't chilling in Durges old bedroom. All Orin would do is stage ever grander and more elaborate public massacres and involuntary 'anatomy displays'. Baldur's Gate wouldn't simply be fucked; give her a week, and the majority of it would be dead. This works well for Bhaal, but for anyone else, it would kinda suck. Including the other two of the dead three. And the cult would probably still loathe her simply due to her not being a true Bhaalspawn, so cue Orin's madness reaching an absolute boiling point. She doesn't and would never care for any of the other chosen or the grand design. Unless she's reigned in, she's a utterly loose canon, even more so than she was already, with Gortash or Durge at the helm, respectively.

Now time for my favourite of the reckless murder hobos; Durge. Given the few in game notes we have Durge had a thing for obliteration. Including but not limited to every living being + themselves. So let's just assume Gortash’s cocky upstart charm and Orins assassination attempt didn't work out as planned and they are still the de facto leader but now without any leash. Baldur's Gate is probably obliterated. Alongside whatever else remains of the sword coast. Or Troil. They'd probably also have some weird ass fuck relationship with the brain cuz they already did without being the undisputed leader. And the brain would probably discard the grand design themselves cuz somehow Durge has that effect on things (might be the innate charm magic of Bhaalist priests that they use to convince people to join a literal murder cult). Either way, with Durge not giving a single damn about the other chosen, any plans but Bhaals (or their misunderstood version of it) and a dramatic love for self-obliteration, it may finally be time to remedy the elves' mistake and rip Abeir-Toril apart properly. Ao hates this trick, alongside everyone else, probably including Bhaal himself.

Which is all my longwinded way of saying; Gortash is the lesser evil. In any set of circumstances he displays enough leniency, monster fucker vibes and rationality to somehow keep this ruined, sinking ship from hitting the sea floor immediately. He has enough of a twisted love for humanity left, compared to the others, to a degree that he doesn't blindly follow orders or actively seeks the destruction of everything, let alone 'true' domination the way Bane intends to have it.

But yes, indeed, Gortash performed fucked up and cruel experiments. No doubt about that. And yet it was still on a lesser scale than a mad massive hoard of necromancers could, and his experiments, for the most part, actually yielded results, didn't they? Presumably, the Coginator and the remote control brain mechanism used for the Steelwatch. After all, there are zombies(?) in there, controlling that shit. However, the experiments on loving families were probably one of his selfish indulgences and his sorry attempt at figuring out if he was just born loathsome and his family sucks ass or if that's normal and humanity doesn't deserve a second chance. Or a 30th. FR lore is fucked up.

This is also a great transition to exhibit B of my thesis why Gortash does in fact love or is at the very very very least heavily intrigued by humanity; the sole existence of the Steelwatch. Listen, my guy serves Bane. Bane hates planning. He likes immediate results. So much so he actively pisses off his situationship Bhaal for it. Repeatedly. And he likes fear and tyranny. So what do you think the chances are that the black hand would actually enjoy the thought of a mecha army patrolling the streets of Baldur's Gate, keeping them save, and worst of all, instilling hope in the hearts of the populous, peasants and nobles alike? Yeah, absolutely fucking none. And yet Gortash did that. And he's not even just a regular banite. He's Banes chosen. He carries a part of Bane's divinity within himself. He has the de facto highest position in the local faith. He's Banes favourite toy rn. He's the centre of attention and he still goes out of his way to use things that could 1000% inspire fear and hatred to sow fucking hope and a sense of safety of all things in plain sight? I bet his adorable wrinkly ass that Bane wasn't happy and that even a thousand rituals to redeem his leniency won't save him from getting tortured extra hard for this fuck up. And considering the state of the Banites scriptures we found, and his entire character, Gortash is smart enough to know this is something Bane absolutely loathes. And yet my guy did that.

Another thing is the hive mind. Bane would probably not hate it outright, as its still 'burning the fields' by turning souls illithid, but it's wasted potential. Because there's so many great things you can do with a hivemind and the remote control over people's thoughts and emotions, for example instilling fear and terror the very things Bane loves. But that's, once again, not Gortash plan. If the notes and one of the evil endings is anything to go by the hivemind doesn't trap people in a state of torment, it does the polar opposite. People are happy, enjoying a better, simpler and nicer life. Enjoying an idea of what their life could've been like. They're smiling, happy, enjoying a casual market stroll and the bountiful rewards of the fields. Which is all things that a good Banite should hate and never inflict on someone. AND YET that's presumably Gortashs plan. Create a hivemind where everyone can dream happily and do soulless labour without noticing it while the world goes to absolute shit but the people do not. It's basically noah's arc. It's paradise in hell. The people are 'saved' while the gods continue to fight their petty games, and Gortash alone lords over this perfect dream. Protecting it answer using it to advance further.

Now, about the busts found in his office. Most of them depicted rather unsavoury, cruel people. Except for one. Which honours a self made person who took pity on those who had less. On those considered lesser by the upright and honourable citizens of the Gate. It's weird how, between all those symbols and testaments to cutlery and tyranny, there's still a sliver of empathy, renegade justice and even care for fellow humans imbued, isn't it? And what's even weirder, all of them are found in Gortash's most private place? His own little office hidden far above the grandeur of the throne room and the Fortress, where he sits at the helm, lording over his subjects and scheming his little plans? This is an excellent example of show, don't tell btw. It's hitting you over the head with the implications. But just in case, this might very well be a reflection of Gortashs mind itself and the visible expression of him being incapable of letting go of humanity as a whole, still carrying it somewhere not even that well buried between the resentment and cruelty but out in plain view for everyone curious enough to touch it because what others reason would he have tob'play the benelovent ruler' in a place where no one sees it? Where only his most trusted and fellow Banites mingle?

And, ofc, as I am a durgetash truther, another exhibit. Him fucking Bhaals gore baby and putting a leash on it prematurely. You see, I've already talked about Banes likes and dislikes plenty so it should come as no surprise that the Edgelord Surpreme wouldn't hate carnage wrought upon foolish mortals by idiots who follow lesser gods than himself, since it would still somehow contribute to people being scared and panicking. But Gortash, being the ever faithful fuck up of a Banite, reigns in the Bhaalist and even the Myrkulites enough for that to kinda never really happen. He stopped the carnage from happening altogether, in fact, by giving the others enough scraps to keep them satisfied and from acting out but not enough freedom to fuck up his plans. I mean, heck he was apparently so convincing he managed to get Durge, again, biggest fan of self-obliteration, from going on an apocalyptic rampage cuz 'daddy I like his brain and I don't mean for dinner'. Him doing that actively contributed to preventing another Bhaalspawn crisis, which could've very well happened with Bhaals resurgence and revival, 2.5 loose canons and no ward of a random old guy in sight. But also him providing a clear goal and orders for Ketheric kept the lich from giving in to the sweet release of just not caring at all whatsoever. Everyone had their designated roles and boundaries and that was perhaps the only thing keeping this group of mentally unstable creatures from unleashing an apocalyptic nightmare; which again would've worked in their gods favour and technically didn't need any prevention.

And about the Gondians... Yeah this is gonna sound fucked up, cuz it is, but Gortash is actually treating them exceptionally nice. Their families are actually still alive and its not just a lie he's telling them, we don't actually see anyone getting flayed, strung up or tortured in some other way outright, they actually get to wear clothes and presumably they're fed enough to a degree that most of them can still somewhat work and the collar and the threat of your head exploding does suck but he could've also simply chained them to their work stations but they aren't. Let alone use charms or other beguiling and fucked up magic to force them into complacency. And they're not being resold or redistributed or forced to serve some random ass guy. The Gondians are, from a Forgotten Realms and probably Bane's perspective, treated exceptionally well. As are their families. Still undoubtedly fucked up and kinda sadistic with the whole explosion collar but objectively speaking he's one of the nicer slave masters. And they do allow him to produce the Steel Watchers en mass which once again contributes to the overall safety of Baldurs Gate and its other citizens. Still the lesser evil.

Though to be fair; Gortash also did some things Bane would really celebrate. Like somehow cheating his way into obtaining the Iron Throne, fucking Bhaals favourite and most fucked up """"child"""" and of course, keeping his parents alive and in agony to eternally fuel Banes fear kink. Except, it's only Sally who's afraid. Dravo is basically a blue screen of death personified at this point. He's a hollow, numb husk, isn't he? So somehow this once again doesn't align with Banes goals and Gortash's duty as a Banite. He's fucked it up again. But Gortash could've also simply killed them if all he wanted was revenge. Why go out of your ways, program elaborate scripts into them, keep the very place that testaments his fucked up past in good condition? Because a quick death would be too merciful? But then why is he so quick to turn on Durge if they betray him in a much smaller scale than his parents did. Well, perhaps he chose not to simply kill the very people who prepared Belladonna in the kitchen when he came to visit because he himself still needs them. Because underneath all that rage and spite there's still a broken boy who wants to hear his parents, albeit empty praise, and who wants to prove to them that he can be better? That his useless playing around actually helped better humanity, that he himself helped countess people and made lives better when all they thought he'd be useful as would be a pawn?

So, is it twisted? Yes. Is it rotten? Absolutely. Is it anything you'd consider to be 'conventional'? Absolutely not. But he does hold some wildly fucked up 'love' for humanity, if only as means to a grander goal (that being himself, ofc) or perhaps cuz he's genuinely incapable of letting go. Whether it's that, to spite Raphael, Bane and his parents or someone else, who knows. Probably nobody. But the shit he does is unorthodox and oddly self-sacrificial in a way where I just can't go, 'yeah no he absolutely loathes the sheer existence of the concept'.

I still think it's a missed opportunity he's not trying to build a spelljamming port though. I feel like he would absolutely do that somewhere down the line, if only to limit the black networks influence.

[robin-evry]

Would you be able to do headcanons on a nekomata!Yuu? Imagine them and Grim…

Sure, ask and you shall receive

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐔𝐔 𝐈𝐒 𝐀 𝐍𝐄𝐊𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐀 😽👻

Nekomata (original form: 猫また, later forms: 猫又, 猫股, 猫胯) are a kind of cat yōkai described in Japanese folklore, classical kaidan, essays, etc. There are two very different types: those that live in the mountains and domestic cats that have grown old and transformed into yōkai.

( English is not my first language )

Day 8 : nekomata!yuu

Unlike their counterpart or sibling who is a kaibyo who is straight forward and blunt, nekomata!yuu is a playful and mischievous person. Unlike kaibyo!yuu who is blunt, they played with people for fun.

They enjoy sleeping and often draw into the warmth of sunlight. You can find them taking naps somewhere warm in the day light.

Nekomata!Yuu is always looking for the perfect napping spot around NRC. They’ve been caught sleeping in the most unusual places: inside Heartslabyul's rose bushes, on top of a bookshelf in the library, and even on Grim's bed. Their cat-like laziness makes everyone think they’re just being laid-back, but in truth, they’re always recharging their magical powers.

They also have a habit of sneaking out at night, they have the ability to sneak around at night unnoticed. Often, they’ll explore the campus under the cover of darkness, checking in on their friends or causing some minor mischief. There are rumors among the students of a mysterious cat-like figure roaming the halls at night, but only the dorm leaders suspect it’s them.

They are masters at traditional arts. Like performing, playing music, dancing. Their skills are able to capture people's attention. They are similar towards a geisha

Nekomata!Yuu has a complicated relationship with Grim. On the one hand, they enjoy teasing him, making him think he’s the lesser feline. On the other hand, they have a protective instinct toward him, seeing Grim as a younger sibling in need of guidance.

Despite Nekomata Yuu’s sometimes carefree attitude, they have a strong protective instinct when it comes to Grim. Like a mother cat, they feel a deep sense of responsibility for Grim, even though he’s always getting into trouble. They will often act as Grim’s unofficial guardian, whether he wants it or not. If someone picks on him, they will be the first to step in with a sharp warning or a fiery display of power. They are also grim mentor, teaching him about magic and how to utilize their ability.

While they are protective of Grim and their friends, they deeply value their own solitude. They often disappear for hours, retreating to quiet, hidden spots like the rooftop of the dorm or beneath a tree, where they can relax and center themselves. Nekomata!yuu finds peace in quiet spaces, away from the chaos of NRC.

More proficient in the arts of magic than her sibling, nekomata!yuu can cast spells and protection charms without using any rituals.

Their blue flames are usually harmless only using it to cleanse anything from any impurities as well to dispel any magic, for example their blue flames have the ability to heal wounds as well to remove rust from a sword, removing vil unique magic easily and removing riddle heart collar.

Unlike normal fire, the blue flames burn on a spiritual level, meaning they can target a person’s or creature’s soul directly. This makes them highly effective against spiritual entities, curses, or beings that draw their power from negative energies. The flames don't physically harm unless they intends them to, making them versatile in non-lethal combat.

They are very deeply connected towards the spiritual world, able to sense some otherworldly being. They can also take intentions from people, they immediately notice Azul intentions

As a Nekomata, they possesses superhuman sensory abilities. Their sense of smell, hearing, and sight are far sharper than a regular human’s. They can detect subtle changes in the environment, like the faint scent of someone’s presence or the tiniest sound from afar. This makes them incredibly perceptive, often allowing them to notice things before others do.

Example: they can tell when someone is lying just by their heartbeat, which makes them excellent at sensing the true intentions of others. It also makes them a bit of a prankster, as they know when someone is trying to sneak around.

Nekomata!Yuu’s two tails are prehensile, meaning they’re strong and flexible enough to wrap around objects and hold their entire body weight. They can use them to dangle from tree branches, beams, or even the sides of buildings. This ability is useful for sneaking around or hiding when they don’t want to be noticed.

Nekomata!Yuu loves to dangle upside down from their tail in unexpected places, like from the ceiling of a classroom or a chandelier, and scare their friends with a sudden “boo!” This often leads to chaos, especially with someone like Ace or Deuce getting startled.

When they can’t find a proper place to nap, they will sometimes hang upside down by their tails, swaying lazily from a tree or a high perch. They find this position oddly comfortable and calming, despite how it looks to others.

Nekomata!yuu possessed great strength, senses, agility, and flexibility. They are able to jump roof to roof without any trouble. As well they are very fast to the point before people can react.

They have incredibly sharp reflexes, often dodging attacks or grabbing things in midair without even realizing they’re doing it. This sometimes freaks out the other students, who sees them move in ways that seem inhumanly fast and agile.

They have an air of pride and dignity, much like a cat. If they’re knocked down or embarrassed, they’ll try to recover with their head held high, pretending nothing happened. They don’t like admitting when they need help, but they appreciate it when people come to their rescue without making a big deal of it.

They are far more active at night than during the day. They like to wander the NRC campus under the moonlight, sometimes even visiting the Diasomnia dorm where Malleus is also known to enjoy quiet nights. This nocturnal habit leads them to discover hidden secrets or overhear important conversations.

Malleus is one of their closest friends, they usually stroll together in the night talking about their day, how's school and just enjoying the others presence

Vil has mixed feelings about them. On one hand, he respects their unique abilities and presence, seeing their spiritual power as something to be feared and respected. On the other hand, their carefree and somewhat lazy nature irritates him to no end. Vil is constantly trying to get them to sit properly or stop napping in public places, but they just shrugs it off.

Because of their nekomata nature, some students believe that Nekomata!Yuu brings good luck or bad luck depending on their mood. If they passes by and gives you a smile or flicks their tail, it’s said to bring good fortune for the day. However, if they hisses or gives you the cold shoulder, students fear they’re cursed with misfortune. This superstition, while silly to them, keeps some of the more gullible students on their toes.

They have an uncanny ability to avoid danger or slip out of sticky situations, often just by being in the right place at the right time (or out of sheer cat-like luck). They’ve walked out of battles unscathed or dodged traps in the dorms without even realizing they were there.

If their skills and talent are similar towards a kitsune, so after they were turned into a yōkai, a kitsune found them and took care of them as well teaching them everything they knowas well the art of blue flame.

Their sibling kaibyo!yuu and them originated from the same yōkai clan, they are not biologically related, but when they transform into yōkai , they are adopted into the same clan making them sisters but not biologically.

[chaos0pikachu]

Is BL Being Overly Influenced by Modern Western Romance Tropes?

Short answer: No. anyways, in the following essay I will explain that James Cameron is a weeb...

(okay fine~~ lets actually do this)

TLDR: discussing what media globalization is, how fandom can distill it down to only American/European cinema, showcasing how a lot of current BL is influenced by countries within it's own proximity and NOT "the west" but each other, also James Cameron is still a weeb

I had seen a post that basically proposited that BL was being influenced by modern western romance tropes and had used things like omegaverse and mafia settings as an example. I found this, in a word, fucking annoying (oh, two words I guess) because it's micro-xenophobic to me.

It positions western - and really what we mean by this is American/European countries, we're not talking about South American countries are we? - cinema as the central breadbasket of all cinema in and of itself. Inherently, all following cinema must be in some way, shape, or form, influenced by American/European standards, and as such America/European countries are directly responsible for cinema everywhere else, and these places - namely non-white countries - do not influence each other, nor have their own histories in regards to storytelling or cinema and do not, in turn, also influence American/European film making either.

Now like, do I think all of that~~ is intentionally malicious thinking on behalf of folks in fandom? No, so chill out.

I do, however, think a lot of it is birthed from simple ignorance and growing up in an environment where ~The West~ is propagated to be central, individual, and exceptional as opposed to the monolith of "Asia" - by which we mean China, Korea, Japan don't we? How often in discussions of Asian countries is Iran, India, or Saudi Arabia brought up even tho they are all Asian countries? - or the monolith that is South America - in which some folks might believe regions like the Caribbean and/or Central America belong to, but nope there both North America.

Anyway, what we're talking about here is the concept of "media globalization":

"The production, distribution, and consumption of media products on a global scale, facilitating the exchange and diffusion of ideas cross-culturally." (source)

"The media industry is, in many ways, perfect for globalization, or the spread of global trade without regard for traditional political borders. [...] the low marginal costs of media mean that reaching a wider market creates much larger profit margins for media companies. [...] Media is largely a cultural product, and the transfer of such a product is likely to have an influence on the recipient’s culture." (source)

Typically when I see fandom discussing what falls under MG the topic is usually focused on how "the west" is influencing Thai/Korean/Chinese/Japanese media.

Enter, Pit Babe.

Surely Pit Babe was influenced by Supernatural right? Omegaverse is huge in the west - love it, hate it, meh it - it originated in the west - specifically via Supernatural after all.

Nah.

Omegaverse has been popular in Japan and China for almost a decade, if not longer. The earliest omegaverse manga I can think of is Pendulum: Juujin Omegaverse by Hana Hasumi which was released in 2015, almost a decade ago.

(what if you added furries into omegaverse? WHAT IF?? - Japan)

There's countless popular omegaverse manga too, and the dynamics only moderately resemble the ones we're familiar with in the west. Juujin is part omegaverse and part furry/beastmen - the alphas are all beastmen the omegas are humans - while something like Ookami-kun Is Not Scary only slightly resembles omegaverse dynamics as a hybrid series - beastmen are really popular in Japan in part b/c of historical mythology (you see the combination of romantic Beastmen and Japanese culture & folklore in Mamoru Hosoda's work The Boy and the Beast and Wolf Children).

Megumi & Tsugumi (2018) is so popular they're an official English edition published by VIZ's imprint SuBlime and that's a straight up omegaverse story.

(look at the omega symbol on the cover loud and proud baby)

So if Pit Babe was influenced by anything, it certainly wasn't "the west" it was Japan, Korea and China. Because those countries have a thriving omegaverse sub-genre going and have had such for 10 plus years now. Supernatural is popular in Japan, yes, and that may be where Japan and Japanese fans originally found omegaverse as a fictional sub-genre.

HOWEVER

Japanese fans took the sub-genre, bent it, played with it, and evolved it into their own thing. As such, other countries in their proximity, like Thailand, China, and Korea who read BL and GL manga, found it and were like "hey, we wanna play too!"

(is that an omegaverse yuri novel I spy?? yes, yes it is)

When I watched the Red Peafowl trailer, it had more in common with Kinnporsche, History: Trapped, along with films and shows like: Jet Li's The Enforcer, and Fist of Legend, Donnie Yen's Flash Point, Raging Fire, and Kung Fu Jungle, Han Dong-wook's The Worst of Evil, Kim Jin-Min's My Name, Lee Chung-hyeon's The Ballerina, Baik's Believer & Believer 2, Yoshie Kaoruhara's KeixYaku, popular Don Lee films The Gangster, the Cop and the Devil and Unstoppable alongside BL manga like Honto Yajuu and Bi No Isu (probably one of the most well known yazuka manga to date).

Like, we're seeing a rise in mafia based BLs and people think that's because of "western influence" and not the absolute insane success of kinnporsche??? Especially in countries like China, Korea, Taiwan, Philippines and other Asian countries???

Mafia films and gang shows aren't even that popular here in America/Europe; don't get me wrong, they still get made and exist, but the last full length film was The Irishman which did not make it's budget back, and while Power is still on-going it's not a smash hit either. The heyday of Breaking Bad, The Sopranos, The Wire, Goodfellas, and Scarface are long gone. And if you've watched any those shows or films they have very little in common with Kei x Yaku, Kinnporsche, or Red Peafowl in tone, or style.

(who knew martin just wanted to make his al pacino/robert de niro fanfic come to life all these years?)

Another example, The Sign, which is clearly taking inspiration from Chinese costume dramas: Ashes of Love, Fairy and Devil, White Snake (and it's many adaptions), Guardian, & Ying Yang Master Dream of Eternity. Alongside Hong Kong and Korean cop and romance shows like Tale of the Nine-Tailed, Hotel Del Luna, Director Who Buys Me Dinner, First Love, Again, and previously mentioned cop dramas.

Like, I know y'all don't think Twins is influenced by, what, American sports classic Angels in the Outfield?? Gridiron Gang?? Rocky?? Nah that shit is inspired by the popularity of sports manga like Haikyuu!!, Slam Dunk, Prince of Tennis (which even has a Chinese drama adaption), and the like. And also probably History 2, & Not Me but I'm like 87% sure Twins is just Haikyuu fanfic.

So like, does this mean that there's NO history in which American and European cinema influenced these countries? What, no, obviously that's not true, American/European totally have had media influence on countries like Korea, Japan, etc.

Astro Boy by Osamu Tezuka considered "the father of manga" was inspired by Walt Disney's work on Bambi. Another more recent and prominent example is director Yeon Sang-ho and his film Train to Busan.

"And it was Snyder’s movie [Dawn of the Dead, 2004], not the 1978 original, that filmmaker Yeon Sang-ho recalled as his first encounter with the undead. “That was when I started my interest in zombies,” Yeon said, in an email interview through a translator from South Korea. Even today, he added, “it’s the most memorable and intense zombie movie I’ve ever seen.”" (source)

HOWEVER, the global influence doesn't stop there. It's not a one-way street. Yeon Sang-Ho was inspired by Zack Synder's Dawn of the Dead, a remake of George Romero's own work, but Yeon Sang-Ho's work has inspired countless Korean film makers to make their own zombie media; following Train to Busan there's been: Kingdom (2019 - current), All of Us Are Dead (2022), Zombie Detective (2020), Zombieverse (2023), Alive (2020), Rampant (2018).

And hey, wouldn't you know it now we're starting to see more zombie media coming out of places like Japan (Zom 100 the manga, movie, and anime) and High School of the Dead.

Do you know what Domundi's series Zombivor (2023, pilot trailer only) reminds me of? It's NOT The Walking Dead (which is the only relevant zombie media America has created in the last decade) it's Korea's All of Us Are Dead (2022). Comparing the trailers, the settings, the tone, it's clear where Zombivor is pulling inspiration from: Korean zombie cinema. NOT American zombie cinema.

In fact a lot of Domundi's shows - Cutie Pie, Middleman's Love, Naughty Babe, Bed Friend - are all very clearly inspired by Korean filmmaking, specifically that of romantic kdramas from the 2016 - 2020 era. Not always in story, but rather in technique.

This is media globalization. It's not simply ~The West~ influencing non-American/European countries but countries who are often more close in terms of: proximity, culture, and trade are going to have more influence on each other.

It is far more likely that Aoftion (Naughty Babe, Cutie Pie, Zombivor) was influenced by watching Train to Busan, All of Us Are Dead, and other Korean zombie shows and films than a single episode of Walking Dead.

My point isn't that this goes one way only, but rather it is very literally a global thing. This includes American and European film makers being influenced by non-American and European cinema.

Martin Scorsese, Steven Spielberg, Darren Aronofsky, Christopher Nolan, the Wachowski sisters, George Lucas and James Cameron have all been influenced by Japanese film making, especially the works of Akira Kurosawa, Satoshi Kon, and Mamoru Oshii.

John Wick's entire gun-fu sub-genre is heavily influenced by classic Hong Kong action films, specifically John Woo films. Legend of Korra, The Boondocks, Voltron, Young Justice, My Adventures with Superman are all obviously inspired by Japanese anime but animated by a Korean animation studio (Studio Mir). Beyond that, the rise in adult animated dramas like Castlevania, Critical Role Vox Machina, and Invincible to name a few are very clearly taking inspiration from anime in terms of style. The weebs that were watching Adult Swim's Inuyasha, Bleach, and Dragon Ball Z have grown up and are now working in Hollywood.

Okay so like, what's the point of all this? What's the issue? Since American/European cinema does influence et all cinema does any of this really matter?

YES.

I take contention with this line of thinking because it centers "the west" and our supposed individual importance way to much. Declaring definitively that "BL is being influenced by western tropes" and then including tropes, narratives, and film making styles that aren't inherently western and actually have major roots in the cinema of various Asian countries, removes the existence of individual history these countries have which are rich, varied, and nuanced. It removes the "global" part of globalization by declaring "the globe" is really just America and Europe.

It distills these countries down to static places that only exist when American/European audiences discover them.

BL doesn't exist in a vacuum you can trace the development of Korean BL to the development of Korean het dramas almost to a T. You can also trace their development to the queer history of each country and how Thailand interacts culturally with China, Japan, Korea, etc and vice versa. It also ignores the history of these countries influencing American cinema as well. Don't mistake "the globe" for only your sphere of experience.

Anyway James Cameron is a damn weeb y'all have a good night.

Check out other posts in the series:

Film Making? In My BL? - The Sign ep01 Edition | Aspect Ratio in Love for Love's Sake | Cinematography in My BL - Our Skyy2 vs kinnporsche, 2gether vs semantic error, 1000 Stars vs The Sign | How The Sign Uses CGI | Is BL Being Overly Influenced by Modern Western Romance Tropes?

[like these posts? drop me a couple pennies on ko-fi]

[weirdmageddon]

i got further inspired by these tags on my post-turned-essay, which you should read by the way:

#wish they had more time to get into Hank ik they wanted to #I think Hank was gonna be the end part of vbros no matter what. his story to me felt like that

so here is a playlist i made for it.

it’s supposed to encompass hank’s time in season 6, 7, and filling in for whatever season 8 was going to be, extrapolating from baboon heart.

it’s 3 hours and 4 mins long in order to make up for the loss of season 8 hank content. you just know doc and jackson wanted to do more with him so i bulked it a little, with these songs kind of standing in for hank’s psychological experiences in a narrative way. i’m at least quite happy with it.

headphones recommended 🎧

spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3eClkHEM7JIZTy4iK3iGxe?si=lDwnwuEVSlyobZDEXMBIPw

youtube (alternative):

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCu5XwRLYS0AO_gB_cN6HFIisbotrCY8Z

the picks are very meaningful and deliberate. i pay attention to detail so it’s supposed to be listened to in order since it implies the story. plus i used songs that transition nicely for immersion.

hopefully you can also get some good imaginary mental cinema out of it to make up for season 8 being shrunk. (shouldn’t be too hard since i chose the songs that had something of his personality in them, his core emotions internally, and/or his state at that point in time)

some commentary:

animal collective radiates hank’s psychological core so well, the energy and instrumentation and spirit and lyrics too. this band has been in my life since i was 8 and it’s attached to memories of my own. sometimes avey tare’s voice has this character to it that just fits like a glove and the way he some phonemes roll off the tongue resembles hank’s voice a bit too, for example the long “er” vowel sounds. that’s why there’s so many songs from them on here, there was so much fitting material to draw from. i also thought it added coherence and created a central character/protagonist.

dan deacon’s America was such an obvious choice. adored this album since i first heard it back in 2015. there’s a pitchfork magazine interview with deacon that sits in the back of my mind. the actual album is in itself is partly inspired by him traveling cross-country across the US by train from seattle to new york alone, having gone off-the-grid during the 2006 holiday season to break away and reflect. in hank’s case of course it would be new york to colorado springs. the lyrics are perfect. it fits hank’s surroundings, both his outside environment in this scenario and his psychological environment.

like i said the songs are also fairly personally significant to me too. there many long-time favorites and artists that i’ve been supremely loyal to over the years. you’ve maybe seen some of them on other of my favorites playlists too but this is where they can really truly shine. i realized that hank and a few of these artists overlap in key typologies which explains why i feel like it fits him so well. but also i’ve been listening to them well before i knew hank as a character! (clearly says something about me in particular for being so drawn to hank as a character and the bands featured the most on this playlist who have been serving as my musical “home”, always a safe option no matter my mood for years and strongly stuck with me through those years.)

if you listen i’d love to hear what you think!

what i mean by overlapping typologies is that hank venture is ESE 7w6

and here’s what i’ve analyzed these artists as independently both from lyrics and interviews

animal collective: ESE 7w6 [identity relation]

dan deacon: ESE 6w7 or 7w6 [identity relation]

coil: IEI 5w4 [supervison relation]

durutti column (vini reilly): IEI 9 [supervison relation]

magazine (howard devoto): LII 5 [dual relation]

fun fact 1: on that album America, Dan Deacon got Simon Heyworth to engineer the sound it, who’s also mastered for King Crimson, Nick Cave, Brian Eno

fun fact 2: Doc Hammer owns John McGeoch’s actual guitar (Magazine)

fun fact 3: Howard Devoto and Pete Shelley are both LII like Doc and me

[k-odyssey]

anyway in let free the curse of taekwondo, i love how Ha Hyeon Ho progressively reverts to his hometown accent when he's having that heart to heart through the phone with Lee Do Hoe. like the conversation is too sincere to pay attention to his diction anymore. or like he's peeling back a protective layer, making a conscious effort to show his true feelings, ones he's been hiding.

also he's driving and when it gets to be too much, he has to stop. and i find that a good example of showing rather than telling.

what i find compelling about the drama as a whole is how it's about a specific relationship / two specific lives intersecting & at the same time it's tackling bigger themes. which good stories always do imo. but this one's achieving a lot considering the short runtime.

like just looking at child abuse in this drama, i'm grateful for the different perspectives we get, instead of just the "standard" PTSD nightmares.

Do Hoe's plan is always to move away / disappear. one's he's out, he never comes back. and sure he's avoiding Ju Yeong also, but before meeting him, he was planning on escaping in the same way.

Ju Yeong is, surprisingly, able to forge a different relationship with his taekwondo teacher. he's also not his biological son, and didn't endure the same "quantity" of violence. that probably made things easier. but he's healing in a different manner. (also the teacher is human, and not a cartoonish villain.)

beyond these two, we get a present-day case of child abuse. and there's definitely a notion that abuse exists in other forms nowadays. but the same issue persists. if other adults are complicit, there's no way out for a young child.

and i find it great that both leads grow up into the kinds of adults that help. and that, in 2024, calling the police helps. (in fiction anyway.) compared to early 2000s where calling the police got the (mostly) victim arrested.

and it definitely puts into perspective how the leads put the blame of themselves. "no i was hiding the violence" and "no i was pretending i didn't know." you did. the whole town also pretended not to know that the taekwondo teacher was abusive, probably. and the police was no help, shifted the entire blame on the "troubled" kid. this is a whole societal issue, guys! you're a product of the environment you were raised in.

oops i wrote an essay again. it's been a while. but i love a nuanced take a complex topic.

[redsnowdrop]

KIMI ANTONELLI & SCHOOL

-> F1 Masterlist <-

The young Mercedes’ driver has to chose a date for his finials exams. He said that at this point, being so close to graduating, there is no valid reason to drop out. His mother, according to Kimi, is also very proud of him for finishing his studies. We call it “maturità” or “esame di stato”.

In Italy at the end of the 5^ year of high school there is a huge exam divided in three parts: two written exams -one essay and the second part depends on the “category” of the high school- and the final exam is oral.

Normally no one can decides when to do the exam (the ministry decides) but in very peculiar circumstances it is allowed (for example: Health problems or, like Kimi, work…).

First written exam: The education’s ministry gives multiple choices of topics and the students pick one and write an essay about it. It can be about literature, history, they can decide to analyse a piece of a text and argument it or write about a modern topic (for example it could be about environment, pollution, feminicide etc…). During the school year the teaches do their best to try to predict every possible topic that might be given to the students and work on them.

Second written exam: depends on the high school. I had to translate from Latin but there was the possibility I could translated from Ancient Greek, in other high school they had multiple math problems to resolve and many other tests…

The final exam: it’s oral and the students have to link every subject starting from a hint given by the school commission. For example they might show a poem or a picture and the student has to find a common thematic with every other subject (the theme can be the double, the woman, the foreign etc… depending also by the high school).

Then there is the “capolavoro” which is bullshit and I will not waste my time explaining what it is.