#I actually have outlined the first volume of the story so…..

[smilesrobotlover]

Popping in to say that I have been appreciating your pirates even if it is from a distance. They are a good vibe.

Thank youuuu fhsjdbdkbsksnsk asks like these make me ugly cry I love when people like my ocs 😭😭😭

[mejomonster]

i know we’ve never talked but i saw your tags on the post about writing and i just wanted to say that even if you never finish anything, it’s admirable that you do anything with them at all, and that i hope one day you’ll be able to finish something and experience that joy :)

💜💜💜💜💜💜 ;-; thank you for these words!

I really hope to finish a story first draft by the end of the year, or soon after that. Even if its only a draft and that dumb annoying perfectionist voice pipes up and tries to insist it needs to be scrapped or rewritten or whatever annoying thought, im going to be so excited to have something done at least. A first draft i can point to and be like:wow, wooh! I am holding my own story in my hand and i can forget the plot and still pick it up and read it in a few years and how cool that is! How much it makes my chest ache with warmth!

But also, even if i finish no draft this year, i started at least! I wrote 100,000+ words of original stuff this year so at least the ideas are started, are somewhat put down, are pieces that exist now i can treasure and find later

Thank you again <3

[myapothecarydiary]

Eunuchs, Value, and Appearance– Brief Thoughts on Beauty and Gender in The Apothecary Diaries Manga Volume 1

This is an offshoot of my thoughts from Ch. 4 of the manga, but it also connects greatly to Ch. 1, so a brief recap of where these thoughts sprung from:

As Maomao and Gaoshun go to investigate the "ghost" dancing on the palace wall, Maomao again reflects that Gaoshun doesn't look like a typical eunuch. Her first instinct upon meeting him was the classify him as a "military man" but because he was in the rear palace, he had to be a eunuch.

Meeting again, she thinks he looks "very masculine" and not "like a typical eunuch at all." In this moment, we get another example of Maomao's understanding of and perspective on eunuchs and gender being challenged. Or do we?

A product of her time and background, Maomao has a very specific and somewhat rigid way of thinking about gender. I think that perspective ebbs and flows, but it is very much informed by the outline provided to her by the society she exists within.

Sometimes, what first appears to challenge the constraints of that outline actually works to reaffirm it.

Gaoshun appearing more masculine and like a military man is not presented in the story to challenge a bias but it is Maomao's first clue that something else is going on with Gaoshun, that there's more to the story. It is not a purposeful reflection on gender by the author but a purposeful piece of a puzzle Maomao is solving within the story.

The same thing happens later when Maomao inspects Jinshi's body and sees it is more muscular than a eunuch's would be. Without further investigation, the presentation of eunuchs that don't fit the stereotype challenges that stereotype, but the truth of the matter actually kind of relies on and reaffirms those stereotypes. Gaoshun isn't just a eunuch and wasn't always a eunuch. Jinshi isn't a eunuch at all. If they didn't seem like regular eunuchs, it's because they are not.

[And if we flash forward to how another character is addressed–Maomao observes that Ah-Duo appears more masculine than feminine, which reminds her of Jinshi. Seems like a great challenge to gender norms, but then Maomao's bias/the binary is reinforced by the fact that Ah-Duo's womb was removed. Jinshi is castrated, thus more feminine and Ah-Duo had her womb removed, thus more masculine. Or so it seems to Maomao...]

And yet, just because these moments weren't included to say something about gender, it doesn't mean that nothing on that topic is being said. And the fact remains that Jinshi isn't actually castrated/a eunuch! So he works to both reinforce Maomao's views on gender and challenge them. Though he isn't actually a eunuch, he still appears very feminine. That is, arguably in part due to the drugs/forms of suppression he uses to assume his eunuch persona and operate in the rear palace, but even without those measures, Jinshi still possesses a great "feminine" beauty. He is sort of a contradictory figure in that sense.

With that, I wanted to circle back to something I noted in chapter 1. I noted that Maomao is "disappointed" when she realizes Jinshi is a man and that his beauty is not possessed by a woman. I thought of this point as contributing to the conversation around gender and around beauty within the story.

I also put a pin in the idea of how Maomao values beauty and recognizes how beauty gives someone value and specifically how Maomao views beauty as it relates to Jinshi–a waste on a man, disastrously powerful on a woman, extra wasteful on a man sans frog (aka castrated).

These fuzzy reflections got some great extra translation-related context from @amiriirish (thank you for that!), specifically regarding the line "A man? That's too bad," Maomao's thought when she realizes Jinshi isn't a woman. A more accurate translation would be "A man? What a waste" or as it is written in the GX version: “'タマナシだけどな…もったいない' which roughly translates to '(He) doesn’t have balls, though. What a waste.'"

I love how @amiriirish describes Maomao's perspective in this moment as one of "a scientist, not wanting to see good genes go to waste" as within the historical context of the setting, a person's purpose is to get married and have kids/keep the family line going/pass on their genes. Jinshi being castrated means he won't be able to produce any beautiful children and so his beauty is going to waste by not being passed down.

I was pretty vague in my initial thoughts, but I meant to sort of hand-wave at these ideas (albeit in a much less articulate way) and though I do think Maomao's sexuality is another interesting conversation (and I personally favor the interpretation of her as on the asexual + bisexual spectrums), I didn't mean to highlight Maomao's attraction to Jinshi during their first meeting but rather her recognizing his general attractiveness and beauty. Love bi Maomao, but I don't actually think she was attracted to Jinshi at that moment. Like with her view of the "wastefulness" of his beauty, she is looking at him like a scientist/as more of an observer than participant.

Maomao's introduction to Jinshi is the beginning of her generalizations about his beauty and how she positions herself as an outsider in those generalizations. Anyone would be attracted to him but that anyone does not refer to her. At least not yet.

Instead, I was thinking of Maomao's disappointment at Jinshi being a man rather than a woman as a reflection of her upbringing in the pleasure district and her familiarity with female beauty specifically.

We don't get a lot from Maomao about beauty or handsomeness in men. Or when we do, she seems even more removed from it. Like it isn't really worth noting. I think this is because she has learned how beauty can function as a sort of currency or tool for women.

Even in the very beginning of chapter 1, Maomao reflects on how a "pretty face" (and a voluptuous body) can lead to a woman rising through the ranks.

@teaflowsthroughthesesims discussed this further in some awesome expanded thoughts:

"In the circles [Maomao] runs in beauty is power, or a means of obtaining it, mostly but not exclusively for women. In her view, it's fitting that the powerful be beautiful, and expected that it be used as a weapon or tactic of controlling others.

Beauty is also tied up in desire towards others. The desire of a customer for a courtesan is due to beauty, the desire of an emperor for a concubine naturally falls on the lovely ones -- and [Maomao's] own undesirability is tied up in her lack of beauty (i.e chicken bones vs. abalone)."

"This is why she immediately sees Jinshi's flirting as a tactic - beauty is a tool to be used. Also, she chooses ways to describe Jinshi's beauty in terms of how it would control other people - 'a nation-toppling beauty' or 'a sex appeal that would drive both men and women mad' (paraphrased)."

"Aside from her upbringing in brothels, this is also probably why it doesn't 'work' on her - she is always expecting beauty to be used as a weapon or tool."

With that being said, I think Maomao views Jinshi's beauty as a waste on a eunuch and on a man both because it means that beauty will not be genetically passed on and because it means that beauty cannot be strategically used as a tool by a woman. But after this moment of meeting, Maomao will soon see how Jinshi, despite being a eunuch and a man, can use his beauty as a tool too. Something she probably knew was a thing already (men using their looks), just something she's not as familiar with.

I think there also remains a curiosity in Maomao regarding the concept of Jinshi as a woman, which we see again later when Maomao can't resist trying out lipstick on him to try and see what he might look like if he were a woman. There's perhaps something self-indulgent in that, as well as something that brings together the world Maomao knew before and the one she is coming to know. Thinking of Maomao as a scientist, it is a little experiment, but though Maomao is practical and her view of beauty is influenced by that, I think she is more than her practicality and pragmatism too.

More thoughts in this vein will surely come once we get to Maomao's reasons for using makeup to add freckles to her face!

[star-daughter]

Whooh boy. Hi everyone! Sorry, It's been a while. But I have quite the post for you all today, because we'll be talking about a webcomic I just finished! ... I will warn you all though, that I do not have the kindest of words to say about it.

You may be aware of this comic, as it has a considerable following, especially here on tumblr, the comic is called Sparklecare. It currently has 4 volumes and is on a short hiatus so the website can finish it's redesign, but the plot summary of the comic from the last available snapshot of the website is as follows:

The comic follows the story of a cat named Barry Ill and his experience of being admitted to the Sparklecare hospital. Despite its glamorous reputation, the hospital is actually a prison that tortures and kills its patients and drains their families of insurance by the corrupt hospital's owner, Dr. Cuddles. Cuddles is a greedy Capitalist scumbag who cares about nothing but money, and so far, everything is working out for him. Any patients who escape or try to speak out against the hospital aren't believed and are written off as crazy. The story follows Barry's journey into uncovering the truth about why this place really is the way it is, and why nobody's talking about it.

From the outside, the comic is very striking and intriguing! From it's prominent art style and art direction, to the concept itself, it sounds like a fun time! ...Right? Well that's where the comic gets you; see just like the in-universe hospital, Sparklecare isn't as inviting and pleasant once you really sink your teeth in. And I'm here to talk about why I think that is.

Before we begin, I'd like to clarify since I've become aware of the community's um... Questionable attitude towards critique, that if you enjoy Sparklecare, that's totally fine! I'm not gonna tell you what you can and can't read, I'm here to express my own thoughts on it.

Now, I won't torture you with this post if it ends up on your dash, so the full post will be under the cut! Please check the reblogs, I may add more there if I run out of space.

Also, CW for bright colours, blood and a whole heaping o' medical mispractice.

Before I get into some of the more serious issues with the comic, I wanna first start off with the thing you're going to first see trying to read it: The art. Here I would say the website, but since it's getting a redesign, I don't feel confident speaking on it. I'll leave one note on it though: it needs serious optimization...

Onto the art: I will say, I found the art quite charming, especially the art in the first 2 volumes. I think the comic has a way with setting mood and tone using it's palette, specifically in the dramatic "blue/red" scenes - I think those look gorgeous!

The style in volume 1 & 2 is also very pleasing to the eye, although it can look off at points. I think the style succeeds extremely well with it's tendency to give characters large, exaggerated expressions - it's very cartoony and I love it. The lineweight is also used very well in my opinion!

However... There's a few big elephants in the room that they are The designs, lettering & panel work.

I'll begin with how the series handles it's lettering, as it's one of the most important parts of a comic. Although it's unique, that does not mean it's good.

In volume 1, it starts off fine enough, it's a simple speech bubble with white/black text.

It sort of flip-flops between having a shadow/glow and not having one, which although confusing and hurts my eyes sometimes, not a deal breaker! The bubbles are all colour coded also so no matter the scene, you understand who is talking. That is very good! I like that! I wish the colours weren't as bright as the backgrounds, but I understand why they are.

Volume 2 introduces what I consider my favorite of the lettering styles, big bold outlines with bubbles that better surround the text!

It's easily the most recognizable lettering style of all the volumes, and it's very readable. It's simple, but lettering is at it's best when it's simple and understandable.

This volume's lettering also introduces colour coded words & different fonts.

Which, I think looks lovely! It adds personality, and since fonts carry different tones with them, it helps with emphasis and how people read the dialogue. However, this isn't to say I think this lettering is perfect.. I'm not a huge fan of the random dots & spots, I think they clutter up the page when there too many characters on screen speaking, which distracted me from focusing on the actual words they were saying.

It also changes mid-way through volume 2! Suddenly, we get character-coded dots & spots... Which, cool in theory, but in practice, as I mentioned, it clutters the page if there's too many characters speaking at once.

Plus, they're used on background characters who do not appear again after their introduction, which is such a waste... If you're going to introduce these character-specific details, they should be used on characters who are important, not character we'll never see again.

When we get to volume 3 & 4, the lettering style almost completely solidifies, the same big bold outlining from volume 2... But now instead of just having personalized dots, we get fully personalized speech bubbles. Which, again, cool in theory! But in practice it's just... So hard to read.

On lettering, I will applaud the use of a custom hand-written font. It looks great! It's fairly clear and adds a nice touch to the comic's overall appearance... But how they use the font is, in my opinion, awful. Characters talk way too much for how much page space there is, which means that there isn't enough space for the bubble to encompass the text, which means text needs to get smaller.

These pages are over 2000 pixels wide and tall, but there's no consideration for how the images & text will look when shrunk down to fit into a normal browser page, which means the text gets tiny and barely readable if there's too much of it - which there often is. I'll get into how I feel about the writing in a moment.

On the panel work, it's fine, it's not super jaw-dropping but it's serviceable. Where the panel work starts to fail though, is it's pacing. See, in comics, pacing is extremely important, good pacing means a better and clearer reading experience, bad pacing can leave the reader confused and force them to reread repeatedly to understand what's going on.

Sparklecare suffers from this heavily, I feel. Take a look to this page below, while not the worst example of it, I think demonstrates a bit what I mean.

There's a lot of text, similar looking shots, and... Very little background to help, well, ground where we are, which made me feel dizzy while reading. There's not a lot of proper flow, because speech bubbles float all over the place, often times out of order in which you are supposed to read them. You tend to dart your eyes all over the page to "properly" read it, which makes for a bad reading experience - the clearer the order is, the better the flow.

On backgrounds, I do not like the near-complete lack of them. Sparklecare gets around backgrounds by filling the colour voids of the panels with dots, specks, lines and patterns - but they don't do the job! It makes the pages feel more cluttered and difficult to look at and read.

Even when they do have backgrounds, they're also filled to the brim with patterning to take your mind off how often strange they look.

Being unable to see what's going on is a reoccurring issue with the comic, and it doesn't just end at the panel work or backgrounds...

The character designs in Sparklecare also contribute to the visual clutter, what with many of them having many small details or otherwise being unpleasant to look at due to their colour palette.

Here's a few examples of characters I think have too much going on or are just eyesores. And see, I get it, they're supposed to be sparkleanimals - designed like a kid on DeviantArt was making them in 2011, but you can get that look without making the designs hurt to look at. Sparklecare both tries to work within a limited palette and tries to have every colour possible on a character and it pulls neither off well. Not to mention, the multitude of small dots & details, adding more to the pile of small dots in the comic.

When a ton of characters are on screen, it tends to make things more confusing to look at - due in part also to the comic's continuity issue. Things or characters that are in one panel or page, will disappear the next, or swap places. Overall, small art issues pile up onto a mess of bright colours and rainbow.

Now here's where we get to the fun point, The writing. Oh boy! For the most part, or at least in volumes 1 & 2, the writing is completely fine. Complicated, a bit odd, but nothing to scream about... Until volumes 3 & 4, because that's when the issues in the writing really starts to show it's rainbow-speckled face.

I'll be direct, I don't like the writing in Sparklecare. The characters are typically unlikable or annoying, and when they do have something interesting going for them, it gets walked back on for plot reasons. Characters also seem to be unable to do wrong, unless they're deliberately out to be the bad one. Characters will do something bad, but get reassured that everything is fine and it isn't their fault even though they did something bad - which is weird the first time, but awful the next 40.

The writing does have it's good points (I liked most of the writing in volume 2, I thought Hemera's struggles with wanting to keep her friends safe was really interesting and I liked the chunklings), but there's prominent issues I can't shove aside.

I namely have issues with the humor, specifically it's uh... Sexual humor. Now, don't get me wrong, I love a good penis joke every now and then, but volume 4 has about 5x the sex jokes of any volume. It was genuinely horrible to sit through because I knew every serious moment would get a joke about stroking it a page or two afterwards.

(One note on that first image there, it happens right after Barry [the green guy] completely belittles and insults Uni [the purple one]...)

The meta humor also felt very, very forced.

It always came out of nowhere, and completely out of place every time it was used. I like meta humor also, but this is supposed to be a more serious comic, yes? I mean, it should be considering the topics at hand, so suddenly throwing in references to this being a comic feels weird to read.

I will say, I do like some of the jokes, specifically these ones:

Let me circle back to the character writing really quick, because there was characters I enjoyed! ... Just not the main ones.

I think, out of everyone, my favorite characters were:

Several background characters with no lines

Dr. Party

Cyn

Jean

Rem

I also really enjoyed how Cuddles was written in volume 1 & 2, he felt very threatening to me.

Outside of these characters though, I found little interest in the main cast and even found myself rooting for the downfall of a few of them due to their poor writing.

Specifically on Barry, there's a small arc in volume 2 where he realizes he needs to stop violently denying that Uni has magic (Which is a stupid plot in my opinion, by the way, considering the worldbuilding has a lot of magic in it. You'd think the smart guy character would know that?) after Uni's magic helps them in the dump. However, right afterwards, in volume 3 & 4, Barry goes right back to verbally assaulting Uni about how magic isn't real! It's not enjoyable to read, and makes no sense to me after what happened in volume 2.

One note, since I don't know where to put this but, I don't like doom. I really don't ... I think I'm supposed to feel bad for him? But I can't! I saw him in volume 1 take glee in having power over the patients, and as the site states:

Doom is not a normal nurse, because he takes on the role of a doctor by harming people alongside regular nurse duties.

He literally tortures people! I'm sorry, I cannot forgive that! No matter how bad he feels about it.

Some more notes on writing before I end this because it's getting too long.. The disability rep in Sparklecare is, questionable sometimes. For the most part I think it's perfectly fine, buuut there are moments I don't think of fondly.. Specifically this moment in volume 2:

Barry starts having a paranoid and panicky moment due to his contamination OCD (Because they're in a literal trash heap) and Uni decides to...

Call it cute??? Genuinely what the hell, who thought this was a good thing to put in here? I haven't read the spin-off AU comic, but I hear it treats it's character with OCD even weirder. Yuck!

On a related note, I hate the cutesy names for disorders. They don't even come up often in-universe, there's little purpose in having them, especially if most of them are just real life, actual disorders. I know it's about an abusive hospital but come on man! You don't have to use baby names for everything! You don't even follow the weird naming pattern for everything! Things like autism don't get a weird cutesy name, but OCD and depression get one? Have some consistency if you're gonna make a weird universe decision.

Alrighty.. This should be the end of it, I'm not sure how to end it because there's still more I want to talk about! I'm super-duper open to talking about anything I've said here or elaborating on why I feel certain ways. This is in no way meant to be a hit-piece of the creator of Sparklecare, I think there's a lot of protentional, and I simply adore some aspects of the comic (Specifically visually). I really do hope this comic will improve over time and that it sees a long life of success.

If you come to this post to disagree, I ask you read through what I say carefully and come at me respectfully, I have no interest in fighting with people over a webcomic about furries.

-Mod Star

[daisyblog]

Hair

Our Story Masterlist Summary: YN's reaction to Harry's new hairstyle.

Based on this request

Harry was always known for his curls or his long hair, especially during the band. His hair was just as famous as him. He had gone through a variation of styles. 

The overgrown curls, the one that YN remembers trying to mess up when they first started dating. The one that outlined his baby face, despite having to grow up over night. 

Next was the slightly trimmed hair style. Harry still had a good amount of hair but it meant his curls were shorter. It made him look more grown up. 

The slicked back quiff was Harry’s go to hairstyle during the Take Me Home tour. YN used to spray half a can of hairspray on it each night before a show, to make sure the volume didn’t drop. But she didn’t mind because Harry’s hair matched his personality, sophisticated and playful. 

Outgrown and pushed back, YN noticed that Harry no longer wanted his hair trimmed, only styled. Did she complain? No! She liked this new hairstyle, it screamed rockstar vibes and YN was living for it. 

Due to not having his haircut for so long, Harry’s hair grew and grew. It was shoulder length for majority of the On The Road Again tour. Harry’s habit was running his fingers through it and flipping it to the side. YN and the fans went feral for this hairstyle, especially when he styled it into a bun. Dreamy! 

When Harry got the role of Alex in Dunkirk, after One Direction went on a break, his luscious long locks didn’t suit the 1940’s vibe. So off with a chop they came. YN was seen hiding her face in Anne’s shoulder, repeating “I can’t look” as the hairstylist brushed Harry’s hair into a bobble and cut away his hair. 

The shorter curls stayed for a while, and YN could see as they got older the shorter cut with a few curls sticking out suited him. It made Harry look older but some innocence still remained. But to YN’s liking, she still got to run her hand through his hair at any opportunity. 

So like the rest of the world when Harry decided one day to shave his precious curls off, YN was absolutely heartbroken, and to some very dramatic.

YN knew Harry was going for a haircut that afternoon, but when he arrived back home later on with lack of hair, rather than his typical trim…you could say she was lost for words.

Harry entered their kitchen, and acted like nothing was out of the ordinary. “I’ll make veggie lasagna for dinner, if you fancy it?”.

YN was still stood by the kitchen sink as she had just finished washing some dishes. She just stared at Harry, wondering if he realised that his scalp was visible. 

“Babe? Why are you looking at me like that?”. Harry noticed YN hadn’t moved a smidge since he arrived home. Of course he knew why, but there was no harm acting oblivious.

YN looked him directly in the eye. “Please tell me this is a joke?”. She wanted this to be a prank, where Harry said it was all a lie and his curls were actually hidden under a bald cap or something.

Still keeping up the act, Harry pretended to be confused. “What’s a joke?”.

“Where’s your fookin’ hair?”. YN questioned, already scared for the answer. Afraid it was going to be one she didn’t like. 

Harry hesitated, before reaching up to touch his head. “AH! Where’s it gone?!”. He couldn’t keep the act up, and a loud chuckle left his mouth. 

YN’s hand came up to cover her mouth for a second, as she realised that Harry intentionally asked for this haircut. “Why? Why have you done this?”.

Harry shrugged his shoulders, as though it wasn’t a big change. “Just fancied a change.”. 

“A change…a change!”. YN couldn’t believe how calm he was being right now. “Dye your hair fookin’ pink, blue or like fookin’ rainbow if you want a change…don’t shave the whole lot fookin’ off!”. YN’s rant began. 

“Is it bad?”. Harry grew nervous for a moment, worried he may have made a huge mistake. 

“Well no…that’s what’s annoying..you can still look good even when you shave your fookin’ head!”. YN complimented the fact that there wasn’t a look Harry couldn’t pull off. “But I need to be dramatic right now…oh my..the fans…they’re going to be devastated.”.

“It’ll grow back, no big deal.”. Harry stated like that would solve everything. 

“You better have your curls back in time for our wedding.”. YN warned him, to which he only smirked and saluted her playfully. 

It was a short while later, when Harry realised that YN had been tucked away in their bedroom for a while. Gently peaking through the gap in the doorway, he wasn’t expecting to see YN sat on the floor, surrounded by multiple photos of himself.

Harry tucked his lips into his mouth, trying to hold his chuckle back. Deciding that this was a moment he wanted to catch, knowing nobody would believe him if he told them, Harry began to discreetly record on his phone. 

“Babe? What are you doing?”. Harry asked, entering their bedroom, realising that the photos of himself were of all his variations of hairstyles over the years. But he was shocked when he saw a tear run down her cheek. “Are…are you crying?”.

YN was still sat on the floor, yet to say a word. She closed her eyes and wiped away the tear.

“Can I ask what you’re doing?…it’s like you’ve made a shrine of me.” Harry attempted another joke, still finding the whole thing amusing. 

With her eyes still closed, posture still composed, YN explained. “I’m mourning the loss of your precious curls, if you could be respectful of all our loss.”.

Harry masked his giggle with a cough, not wanting to be “disrespectful”. “Babe? This is all a bit much…don’t you think?”.

“I told you I need to be dramatic right now…so please, leave me to grieve.”. YN knew she was being dramatic, she knew it wasn’t the end of the world, she knew it was only hair and it would grow back. But she was weak for his luscious locks. 

Adding more fuel to the fire, when fans were quick to notice the lack of hair on Harry’s head after a photo was leaked. YN joined them on airing her feelings. She had made a TikTok of a compilation of photos of Harry over the years with hair covering his head, with Taylor Swift’s song Bigger Than The Whole Sky playing in the background. 

YN made another TikTok, where she pretended to cry every time Harry walked passed her and repeating “The precious curls!”.

Fans were highly amused at YN’s video of her recording herself searching for “how to grow your hair quickly?” on Google and also researching rosemary hair oil as she had seen the trend on TikTok for hair growth. 

But in all honestly, YN didn’t dislike the change but did she want Harry’s hair back? YES! 

Tag List: (let me know if you would like to be added) @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats @harrysbbyh0ney @chronicallybubbly @goldensunflowe-r  @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @kaverichauhan @peterholland04 @panicattheuc @or-was-it-just-a-dream @hittiesontour @bunnyharold @fanfictioncafe @lilfreakjez @iamahallucinationnn @theekyliepage @indierockgirrl @buckybarnessimpp @ashleighsss @jerseygirlinca @fake-coolbeans @itsmytimetoodream

[worldsokayestmagicalgirl]

The first batch of pictures for Amoré's character journal are here! Also I have been so super sick that I've literally had nothing to do but to work on this for like almost 2 weeks so...

The cover to cover tour officially starts here. All I can say about the front & back is that I lament my lack of experience with my Cricut when I made these decals. I only had 2 "fun" colors to work with at the time & I was still getting comfortable drawing in Procreate, so my silhouette art leaves a lot to be desired compared to some stuff I've made recently. I also found it's incredibly easy to burn this leather book.

But she's volume one, everything with her is a learning experience, & I realized as much as it helps to have a mini heat press for tight corners & small spaces, the cloth barrier they suggest you use between the vinyl & the iron tends to make things harder to press on this scale. So instead I gotta quickly tap straight on the transfer film & hope I don't burn anything around it :(´◦ω◦｀):ﾟﾟ

So at the risk of thoroughly exposing my inner theater kid, Amoré set the precedent with how I went forward creating campaign characters. I started off collecting 5 songs to make a mini story arc (almost like a show choir set list 🙃) that helps me figure out an outline for the kind of story I wanna give them.

Somehow Amoré ended up with a truly horrendous blend of rock & theatre. Absolutely incredibe. No wonder she's always such a dramatic bitch.

It was a lot easier to go in & add little decals around these lyrics. I'm definitely cursed with the Too Much™ gene, but I enjoy the little pops of color they give ✨ plus it justifies me hoarding all these vinyl scraps printing stuff this small lol.

Stat sheet!

In all honesty, as my first character I had no fucking clue what I was doing when I placed these & if I could go back & change one thing I'd probably swap her Intelligence & her Wisdom. She’s definitely more people smart than book smart.

But everything else is...very accurate. She has all the upper body strength of a chicken nugget. Plus on top of the (already) negative I traded disadvantage on everything DEX for magic crystal shoes that can be periodically harvested. Just a way for her to carry around the family fortune without actually having to return to the vault✨

For something that started so average, her CON became a monster & always comes in clutch for her alcohol tolerance. I've played variations of her across a few different one shots & I always manage to roll well for anything alcohol related. The dice do respect a bit 🤣

Spells on the other hand, I floundered with a lot at first because we’re not a combat heavy game, but then I found Chaos Bolt & that was that. It’s essentially Amoré in spell form & I’ve had a ton of fun with it over the years. Also Mage Armor cuz my girl is SO DISTRESSINGLY SQUISHY.

Cantrips were more or less a bit of a toss up. Message was fun for the sheer idea of her using it to talk shit during social events without being caught. But aside from Light serving fun backstory purposes the other 3 are kinda just what looked fun ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ unless you count the idea that she would absolutely delight in zapping handshakes.

From there, I wanted to extend the world map made by our wonderful DM @cappierong into a full scroll. Ya know, for the aesthetic ✨

Our campaign started in Civania, where Amoré's main Estate is. I just wanted a quick mock up to reference, so I edited a preexisting picture I found that checked all the boxes (large, on a plateau, accessible only by bridge) and then absolutely smothered it in flowers.

But anyways... This is primarily where Diana & Amoré grew up together in their decade of backstory ✨

There was probably waaaay to much back & forth trying to keep the continuity between stuff I've already drawn & this big reference. But I think it turned out pretty ok? Not like if I make a mistake anyone will really know lol.

Scaling was also another big issue I had, & I moments where I thought something was too big I just kinda handwaved it away like "ehhhhh she's from a stupid rich family." But now I have a NEED to draw baby Diana & Amoré around like, the statue gardens or something cuz I feel like certain parts of this place are definitely ominous 👀 especially for children...

And lastly we have the back cover & the High Noble political relationship map! I normally have this closer to the front but for layout purposes it'll be here. I kinda feel like I need to do more for the decoration of it but I can’t think of anything else to add at the moment.

Sam if u read that no you didn't.

But now! Other than a family portrait that I've always wanted to draw, I think I'm ready to move onto the art for Season 1 : Arc 2. It's a pretty hefty amount of art in comparison to others, so I gotta get busy. Especially since I think I'm gonna have to draw a few comics *sobs*

If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading! I'm always excited to talk out our little idiots so thanks for indulging me ❀(*´▽`*)❀

[dailycharacteroption]

Book Review: Pathfinder 1E Core Rule Book

And so we begin something I’ve been meaning to do for a long time: Book Reviews!

In this special, I’ll be taking a look through various Pathfinder and Starfinder books that I own and generally talk about Their content, their artwork, and other things that offer pros and cons about them.

And what better way to start than with the Pathfinder core rulebook!

Ah yes, the storied ancient times of 2008. I had just graduated high school and was getting into community college. Before that point, Pathfinder had already been writing adventures for 3.5 D&D as a strange and controversial ploy to tap into the market of RPG gamers that had rejected 4th Ed. However, they had no intention of stopping there, starting with their Core Rulebook, which took the info in the Player’s Handbook and Dungeon Master’s Guide of D&D 3.5 and revised it in preparation for the launch of their very own system and products.

What was tricky about this was that some things, such as summoning spells, had to be designed for a book that was technically not out yet: the Pathfinder Bestiary, so the writers had to figure out what monsters were going to be in the Bestiary but not be shared with the Monster Manual counterpart (which is why the 3.5 PHB has all the different sizes of giant spider/centipede/scorpion on them whereas Pathfinder did not, for example).

All in all, this was the effective launch of a new product off the bones of an old one, which really hadn’t been done to this scale before, pushing the limits of what was outlined by the OGL. It was rare, fun, and exciting times, and nobody can claim that Paizo didn’t succeed in that regard.

But let’s get down to it with the actual content of the book!

Now, it’s going to be literally impossible to list the content of the book without comparing it to the D&D work it was based on, so I’m not going to even try there, but first off, compiling the Player’s Handbook and DMG into one book was a good move on Paizo’s part, for while it made for a hefty volume, it was still less expensive to prospective GMs than the PHB/DMG/MM combo of D&D.

Inside, the actual content works hard to refine the formula of 3.5, developing a design philosophy that rewards the player for sticking with things instead of punishing them for diversifying. Favored classes are now picked by the player on start with no restrictions, and said favored classes reward you with bonuses rather than reducing skill points.

Speaking of which, skill ranks are no longer super costly for going outside your class skills, and while you get numerically less, they reward much more, giving bonuses for the class skills as well. Furthermore, the skills themselves are consolidated, with several being merged into one skill (such as Spot, Listen, and Search all being Perception now)

Furthermore, Classes had all been refined as well. Pathfinder introduced new versions of old abilities, such as making certain class abilities available for a number or rounds per day instead of daily uses of variable value that then run out, such as barbarian rages and bardic performances. Meanwhile, clerics gained the vastly superior channel energy, and if they actually wanted turning/rebuking undead in their arsenal, there were feats for it, and the system for doing so was simplified compared to the frankly absurd original system. And then there were quality of life tweaks like giving druids, paladins, and rangers options for not having animal companions (and making companions much more clear-cut), barbarian rage powers, rogue talents, and the like, and of course, giving sorcerers bloodlines to really help diversify them. (Not to mention giving sorcerers and wizards better hit dice so they don’t keep dying at first level.)

Meanwhile, while feats remain a core part of the system, they made little tweaks to old favorites and added important new options, including something as simple as “have another rogue talent” or “have more rage rounds per day”.

And spells! The spells in the Core Rulebook are pretty much all lifted from the PHB, but their design aesthetic was shifted, with save or die spells dealing massive damage instead of instant death (protecting player characters and monsters alike), while the polymorphing spells were much more balanced: adding set abilities at certain levels instead of just letting you become anything and potentially break the game with an encyclopedic knowledge of the Monster Manual, alongside other quality additions.

And moving on from the player-centric options, the GM stuff is somewhat stripped-down, but still very important, ranging from advice about how to build encounters to NPCs as well as general environmental rules and the like, all very fun and important stuff.

Throughout the book, the art also really helps convey the aesthetics and vibe of the world of Pathfinder, with not just primary Pathfinder artist Wayne Reynolds, but a dozen or so other artists as well. Additionally, the art helped bring to life the example “iconic” characters that became the stand-in representation of typical members of each class. Admittedly, a lot of this art is borrowed from the 3.5 books that came before it, but we’ll forgive that. It was their first book of an entirely new system, and that borrowed art was pretty dang good.

Additionally, each chapter sports an opening with a few paragraphs describing the scene of the chapter splash art, which really conveyed that the iconic heroes depicted therein were, you know, characters with personality, not just example art. Which I feel is an important thing when trying to depict a game where players are meant to bring their own characters to life. (I should note that Seltyiel, the iconic eldritch knight, and later magus, was the only one of the prestige classes to be considered a true iconic with his own lore, while the others were only just character art. Probably because he was specifically F. Wes Schneider’s baby).

Overall, the core rulebook has a lot going for it. It took everything we already knew from 3.5 and refined it to be less forcing players to build their characters in certain ways via punishment, and more rewarding them for choosing to build their characters a certain way, while also balancing and changing assumptions about certain feats, spells, magic items, and even the underpinning of how XP was awarded and NPCs were built. Not to mention all the effort to make it seem like the underpinning of a living world through the art and descriptions (name one thing about Pelor in D&D other than his domain list and the fact he’s a neutral good sun god. I dare you).

Now, that isn’t to say that it’s all peachy keen, though. In their efforts to make the core book mostly setting neutral, the core book fails to give more than a few paragraphs about the planes, which is fair, they were still hashing out their cosmology at the time. Additionally, a lot of the book’s novelty at the time was based on the changes that it had made to various otherwise familiar things. Some of that impact is lost if Pathfinder is the first RPG you pick up, and for all it’s simplifications, Pathfinder remains a very crunchy game with a lot of moving parts (I still get new players that struggle parsing the fact that “natural armor” is an entirely separate bonus and not a specific type of armor bonus), all of which can make it much more intimidating to get into compared to 5e (i.e., the one thing that 5e has over either edition of Pathfinder.)

And I think that will do for today. If there is any final thoughts I have, it’s that for it’s humble beginnings as a new system which was little more than a revision of an older one, the core rulebook was, and remains, an important lynchpin of the system (the core book being important? Shocking.), but as we do more of these reviews, we’ll also see how other books shaped the system and the lore. Look forward to more this week and in the future!

[bingebuddie]

My Writing Journey

So, I have always wanted to write in some way. Whether it be music or books/stories. I have an overactive imagination and I know I should be putting pen to paper so to speak.

My current obsession is #buddie from ABC's #911 and I decided that I was going to pop my fan fiction bubble last year.

This is where Sidways came from. It started out as a way for me to be creative and get myself actually doing something about a passion project of mine. When I asked other writes for advice, they always tell me to just write... and that's what I did.

It its current state #sidways is over 300,000 words. It is spread across 5 Arcs.

Sideways can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/3373597

The intention behind this was for me to show my take on how Buck and Eddie get together. It has since morphed into something else, and I love everything about it. I am incredibly excited to tell the rest of the story there.

I have the next three arc's outlined, and I am in the middle of writing the sixth arc.

The feedback and support I have received here has encouraged me to expand myself a little. I had a few ideas for one shots or self-contained stories and those can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/3574324

In the midst of that, I had some brain rot around a shapeshifter/magical AU. The series is called Shifted and the first Arc is Nevermore. The outline for this is 47 Chapters. 15 of which are already on AO3 and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/3747124

I have another 8 or so chapters ready to upload, but I have been a little discouraged by this as it took a lot of work to research and such and has received the smallest interactions/hits/feedback of anything I posted. It's probably going to sit on the back burner for a little while.

Buddie WIPS:

Relationship Goals - In an effort to rebuild their friendship, after their new relationships fail, Buck and Eddie join a local hockey team with some of Buck's old Seal friends. This is already 20ish pages and closest to being complete.

Stolen - A stolen kiss changes everything between Buck and Eddie. This Angst fest is somehow super soft.

The Ties That Bind - Buck breakdown fic.

All I Want for Christmas - Think Scrooged and It's a wonderful life but BUDDIE... I wanted to have this done for the holidays... maybe for next year...

Original Work...

Series will be called Find A Way, first story is From The Ashes.

This is where Wes and Cole come from. It has elements of Urban Fantasy/Para Normal Romance/Sci Fi/Action Adventure. Trying to balance out how much of this I keep here and what elements are lifted into Sideways has been fun but frustrating.

The number of outlines, Plot points, threads and such I have around Wes and Cole... could fill volumes of books.

I want to start 2024 off with a bang... so By Your Side aka Sideways Arc 6 is coming soon...

I should have documented my first year of writing better, but I didn't. I aim to do better in 2024 and plan to document here on my blog.

But I will say, I am proud of what I have accomplished this year as a writer. I went from have 0 words written to having 418,813 words published and 158,000 hits on AO3.

Let's see what 2024 brings!

[themswritinwords]

Mostly!

I've been in and out of doctors offices and the hospital for the past 2-3 months, which is in itself exhausting and not really conducive to writing. Add in the end-of-year holidays coming up, at least four more appointments in the next month, my child's first ever dance recital and all the prep that entails (way more than I thought), a cross-country trip to visit family, and some other personal stuff on top of all that, and I might still be a bit absent. I'm hoping by the second week of January I'll be back to some kind of routine, which hopefully means being more active here too. (Gotta build that dying-platform social media, amirite?)

But! Despite losing approximately 1/3 to 1/2 of my blood volume in the space of a month (0/10 do NOT recommend), I did actually get stuff done. Important stuff! I did DVpit on Discord, got requests, and actually got those sent out before the major hospitalization adventures. I polished up a finished manuscript and actually got it out to some beta readers. Excitingly, I also got my first two full requests ever, and got those sent off with minimal freaking out and rethinking my entire everything.

No word on the fulls yet, but the beta readers are all coming back with the same kind of feedback:

"engaging," "couldn't put it down," "hysterical," "cinematic," "powerful," and my personal favorite, "WOW." (if i had a nickel for every all-caps WOW i got on this manuscript, I'd have 3 nickels; which isn't a lot but it's weird exciting that it happened 3 different times)

Okay, I lied. My personal favorite was the single, solitary, italicized, "Holy shit."

So for once I'm feeling pretty good about myself and my writing! And that's in spite of one of my worries for this manuscript coming true: I got some details wrong and the Car People noticed. And yet! Despite something being egregiously wrong, they said they didn't care because the story was "so engaging it didn't matter." (Still gonna fix it, though. Now that I know, those inaccurate spark plugs will haunt me.)

I also managed to dust off an old project-- my oldest to date that's still functional as a story-- and figured out how to fix all the problems that led me to shelve it in the first place. I have a plan. I have a workable outline. I fixed the stagnant characters and plot and the massive plot holes all at once with minimal scrapping and without trashing my most favorite (and compelling) aspects.

Most importantly, I'm excited to work on it.

After finishing this latest project and then having my whole body fall apart piece after piece for almost a full quarter of a year, it feels like I haven't wanted to write in a long time, let alone been excited to do so. But here I am, getting words down and dusting off Spotify playlists. It feels really, really good.

So here's to the next few months. They might still be rocky and stressful, but I'm recovering in more ways than just the physical. I hope the end of the year brings you joy and peace in whatever ways you need it most, and that the new year finds you well and, most importantly, happy. If not, please know I'm here for you and rooting for you. My askbox and DMs are always open. <3

[aemonds-little-belle]

FEELINGS SOLD SEPARATLY

CHAPTER TEN (THE ACTUAL RULES)

Modern!Aemond Targaryen x Reader

TAGS - (REPOSTED FROM AO3)

Alternate Universe - Sugar DaddySugar BabySugar Baby AUAUokay this is a whole ass story that's just one long ass brain fartliterally i am just coming up with this on the spotlow key really love it thoughSugar Baby/Sugar Daddyobviouslytalks of class issuesaemonds been hurt in the pasti think there will be some sexy stuff eventuallywait fuck i didn't mention this is a modern!aumodern!AUAlternate Universe - Modern Setting&lt;3Aemond "One-Eye" Targaryen is Bad at Feelingsstop that was recommended but so accurateI don't know how to do tagsI'm SorryI promise it's goodAnd no one diesand it's just so classically a sugar baby/ sugar daddy au it hurtsreader works at a cafe ... obviouslythis will follow a similar storyline to the show just modern and also not at allFamily Issueswait probably dom/sub vibes tooDom/subLight Dom/subclearly i don't know where this is going yetmy readers are always written fat because i am fatso keep that in mindSlow Burnit's so slowbut I think it's greatlike genuinely two idiots in lovebut they take soooo long to noticeUghI love fanfiction

+ + + + + +

“Sure.” Aemond cleared his throat, not expecting her excitement, nor her want to begin immediately. “Any ideas?” He asked, trying to hide his own excitement. He had never made rules with a sugar baby before, always making them himself, alone in his office as he began to dictate how a person would act around him. But this was different, he didn’t want the rules to be there just so she could be palatable, she was all he wanted, and he wanted to ensure she wouldn't lose her spark around him just to comply with the stupid rules. But he knew she wanted these, rules to help guide her, rules that allowed him the subtle power over her every move that the two of them were silently enjoying, and he wasn’t sure how to write those kinds of rules. 

“Um.” Y/n pondered, her eyes glancing at the blank paper and then back to Aemond. “What rules did your past Sugar Babies follow?” Y/n asked, her words losing volume as she went, like she was hesitant to ask. 

“Their rules don’t matter.” Aemond said, fixing the page to face him, the pen now in his hand, his eye still on Y/n. 

“I know I’m not like the past girls, Aemond, but their rules could work as a rough outline.” Y/n explained, her hands reaching for her coffee. “There can’t be too many past rules that revolve around money.” ‘That’s not how you're different, little dragon.’

Aemond hummed then reached forward, taking the coffee cup from her hands before she could sip it. “Water first, then you can have your coffee.” He put the cup down out of arm's reach, smirking at Y/n’s pout as she began drinking her water, as if the removal of coffee from her hands was a punishment for some unknown crime. 

“I honestly don’t know where to start.” Y/n huffed. “So knowing their rules …” 

Y/n wasn’t cut off by Aemond’s voice, but the clicking of a pen before he began to write on the paper, the number one rule spot soon filled. ‘My answers are final’, Aemond looked up to Y/n as her mouth opened, no doubt some slightly witty comment on the tip of her tongue. ‘Do not talk back to me.’ Y/n just pouted, stumped. “Are you finished?” 

“Maybe.” Y/n took another sip of her water, dead set on getting her coffee back from Aemond’s long arms only jail. 

“Obvious rules include ones we’ve already gone over.” He added, quickly jotting down a few more rules as Y/n just nodded her head. ‘You will spend your weekends with me.’, ‘You will go out to dinner with me at least once a week.’, ‘You will attend social functions, gatherings, and family events as my plus one.’, ‘You will not be in any other arrangement, or romantic relationship, while employed.’, ‘Always have your phone on your person.’, ‘Respond to my calls and text messages within a timely and appropriate manner.’ “And then the reason I pulled the rules out in the first place.” ‘Do not use the word ‘fine’, explain how you feel clearly’, Y/n took a second to read the full thing, though Aemond’s handwriting was obnoxiously clear, the page was upside down and that type of reading wasn’t her strong suit.

“The last one might be hard.” Y/n admitted, looking to Aemond, her eyes silently pleading him to take it off.

“Little dragon.” Aemond chuckled, taking a sip of his coffee, almost mockingly. “The rules aren’t meant to be easy, they're meant to help guide you, help you learn and maintain better habits.” Y/n nodded her head, her gaze leaving his, the stare a little too vulnerable, a little too intense. She was giving Aemond the reins to her life, allowing him to choose what is good for her, what she needs, allowing him to guide her, instruct her, and she was nervous, not at the idea of giving herself over to him, but nervous t=she would disappoint him somehow. “Little dragon?” Aemond asked, a soft and gentle tone lacing his words. 

“Hmm?” 

“I lost you for a second there.” He chuckled softly. “Everything okay?” 

“Um, yeah.” She smiled. “I’m just, I know you’ll take money off the charity fund when I break a rule.” Aemond nodded his head. “But will you be mad when I break a rule?” She questioned, looking to him with a glimmer of fear in her eyes, the thought of making Aemond mad more of a punishment than anything else. 

“I won’t be mad, little dragon.” He reassured. “I might be disappointed, but I won’t be mad.” 

“Okay.” She nodded her head, anxiety washing over her features. 

Aemond huffed out a puff of air, he was used to making rules for girls who had done something like this before, so he wasn’t sure how to reassure Y/n that breaking the rules wouldn’t be the end of the world, hell most sugar babies broke the rules on purpose. “I don’t expect you to follow the rules perfectly.” He began. “The rules are new, and difficult, you’ll break quite a few in the beginning.” He could see Y/n shift in her seat uncomfortably. “But it doesn’t matter how many of them you break, what matters is if you learn from your mistakes or not.” Y/n nodded her head, slowly understanding what Aemond meant. “We can take a break from making them if you’d like.” He offered. 

“No, it’s okay. I want to keep going.” She answered. “It’s just all new, but thank you.” she smiled, her hands in her lap fiddling with one another. “What’s next?” 

+

The two of them sat at their table, pancakes, coffee, and waters slowly taking up space, the paper adorning a few spills, and maple syrup finger prints, but they finished the rules, the paper filled to the brim with Aemond’s writing and Y/n’s input, the page flipped over halfway through, new numbers added at some point. “What about you?” Y/n asked, the pen now sitting on the table. 

“What about me?” 

“Do you get any rules?” Y/n asked, Aemond chuckling. “I’m serious.” She pouted. “Shouldn’t you have rules too?” 

“Hmm.” Aemond sat back, crossing his arms over his chest, his sweater’s sleeves rolled up. “And what rules would you give me?” He asked playfully. 

“Um.” Y/n pretended to ponder, finger tapping her chin, eyes to the sky before giggling. “Um, I don’t know.” She said, defeated. “Well, maybe you have to call me ‘little dragon’ more often.” 

“And why is that?” Aemond didn’t truly care about the reasoning, he wished to call her little dragon more himself, though he was worried it was overstepping or awkward. 

“Because I like it, and if it’s in the rules you have to do it.” She smiled. 

“Hmm.” Aemond hummed, eye trained on Y/n as she smiled. “Any other requests?” 

“You’re not writing anything down.” 

“I called it a request for a reason, little dragon. I make the rules, I don’t follow them.” he smirked. 

“Well, can I request my coffee?” Y/n asked, holding up her empty water cup, gesturing it as a trade for the mug on the other side of the table. 

“Hmm.” Aemond smirked, putting the once forgotten, now most likely cold, cup in front of her. Y/n didn’t even bat an eye at the temperature, just pouring the coffee into her empty water cup, the ice sloshing around as she grabbed some sugar and cream from the bowl, Aemond staring at her as if she had just committed a crime, or said something at the wrong time. “You’re quite interesting, little dragon.” Y/n eyes met his. “Why?” She smiled, a slight chuckle leaving her lips. 

“You enjoy cold coffee.” He shook his head. 

“Well you drank all of the hot coffee.” She pointed to the now empty pot. “And I won’t waste a perfectly good cup of coffee.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Plus iced coffee is refreshing. You should try it.” She slid the cup over to Aemond, his eye trained on it, mind overthinking the gesture. 

“Hmm.” Aemond picked the cup up, taking a sip, before setting it down again, Y/n staring at him waiting for his poker face to crack. “It’s not bad.” He admitted, his voice low and emotionless. 

“Just admit that you love it!” 

“I don’t love it.” 

Y/n pouted but moved on, grabbing the piece of paper and the pen, scribbling a title under her own rules. ‘Requests for Aemond.’ The writing was clearly different from Aemonds neat, clear writing, but it would have to do, seeing as he wouldn’t do it himself. ‘Please call me ‘little dragon’ more often.’ “What else, what else?” She hit the pen against her chin, Aemond chuckling at her theatrical performance. ‘Please roll your sleeves up more often.’ Aemond looked to Y/n, his expression puzzled. “I like your tattoo, I want to see it more often.” She hardly whispered, as if it was a great secret that couldn’t be shared. Aemond smirked at her confession. “What?” Y/n questioned, a little offended that he found this funny. 

“Nothing, I just find this tattoo my least appealing one.” His smirk remained as he looked to his arm, his hand brushing over the ink. 

“Do you have more than just this one?” Y/n was immediately in need of more information. 

“Hmm.” Aemond just hummed, his expression hardened, ‘He’s so attractive’. “Maybe.” 

“Maybe? It’s a yes or no question!” Y/n was desperate to know, she never really found tattoos on men attractive, but the thought of a man who held so much power, a man who was so professional, hiding tattoos under his suits as he went about his day? Her mouth seemed to water. “Aemond, please! Please.” She hated how pathetic she sounded, but she needed to know. “I’m just curious, please, help me out here.” 

Aemond’s eye seemed to harden, his smirk even more malicious than before, his arms crossed across his chest once more, his body radiating power, Y/n shut her mouth, giving up her previous fight. “Hmm, don’t stop begging on my account.” Y/n’s face heated up in embarrassment, he was clearly enjoying himself, and enjoying the show she was giving him, she just wasn’t sure if she should continue. Aemond leaned forward. “Your pouty lips might be cute, little dragon, but I would much rather see them do something else.” He whispered, Y/n’s eyes growing wide. 

Before Y/n could truly react Daris had interrupted them. “How is everything here?” He asked, completely oblivious to the tension at the table. 

“Good!” Y/n squeaked out, Aemond chuckling at her clearly shocked expression, her hands stumbling over one another as she tried to stack the dishes. 

Aemond’s hand landed on hers, gently taking the shaking plate out of hers as he took over, gathering the dishes in a calm and collected manor, as if he didn’t just say something so … ‘AHHHHHHHH’. “I’ll be up in just a minute to pay, Daris.” Aemond looked to Y/n who was already staring back at him, like she was trying to decode some foreign language that was written on his forehead. “Are you okay, little dragon?” Aemond chuckled, his chest swelling with pride, he enjoyed knowing his words affected her this much. 

“Mhm.” Y/n smiled, through her eyes read more shock than happiness. 

“Words please.” He commanded, ‘What the fuck is he trying to do? Kill me?’ ‘I can tell this is killing her. I love it.’ 

“I’m okay!” Her words weren’t believable in the slightest, Aemond smirking at her attempt to seem normal. “Are you okay?” Her question came out slightly squeaky. 

“Hmm.” Aemond turned and fished out his wallet, Y/n’s eyes following him as he stood up, towering over the tables. The front counter wasn’t a far walk, but as he made his way up to pay, Y/n couldn’t take her eyes off of him, watching as his hair swayed slightly, his tattoo fading into black blobs as he got further and further. ‘He’s going to be the death of me.’ ‘She’s going to be the death of me’. 

+

THE RULES 

My answers are final

Do not talk back to me 

You will spend your weekends with me, and stay at my apartment if requested 

You will go out to dinner with me at least once a week

You will not be in any other arrangement, or romantic relationship, while employed by me

You will attend social functions, gatherings, and family events as my plus one

You will always have your phone on your person 

Respond to my calls and text messages within a timely and appropriate manner

Do not use the word ‘fine’, explain how you feel clearly

You will alert me to any personal, financial, emotional, or physical conflicts going on while employed 

Do not lie to me

If I can not drive you; You must get a cab home, and you must let me pay for it

I am your superior, not your equal, remember to treat me as such

Make sure you take care of yourself; Brush your teeth daily, sleep at least seven hours, drink enough water, eat enough food, etc

Outfits for social functions, gatherings, and family events will be purchased by me, and worn by you, for the occasion 

You will not participate in activities that actively put your life in danger; Excessive drinking, recreational drugs, reckless physical activities, ect

Doctor appointments will be scheduled and attended, by the both of us, to ensure you’re healthy and thriving, once a month

If you break a rule there will be no begging, bartering, or arguing, the punishment is final, and will be followed through 

If you are uncomfortable at any time with my behavior, or with the rules, alert me immediately using a safe word - ‘Fire’

Aemond’s Requests 

Please call me ‘little dragon’ more often

Please roll your sleeves up more often

By - Y/n 

[666writingcafe]

Someone Has An Attitude

A Text Conversation Between Simeon, Levi, and MC That Occurs After Diavolo (Reluctantly) Approves The Outline of the Play

MC: Levi?

Levi: *question mark emoji*

MC: We need your help.

Levi: *question mark emoji*

Simeon: We have the story and characters figured out for our play, so our next step is figuring out the costumes.

Simeon: We'd really like you to be in charge of that. What do you say?

Levi: *sticker of crow saying no and shaking its head*

Levi: Not until you pass my quiz!

MC: *glaring crow sticker*

MC: Is that really necessary?

Levi: I don't believe that Simeon wrote TSL. I need evidence.

Simeon: Alright, Leviathan. Hit us with your best shot.

Levi: The following excerpt is from The Tale of the Seven Lords, Volume 5, page 307: "The Lord of Masks was so named because he wore a mask at all times. He did this to hide the intense anger he felt toward the Lord of Corruption."

MC: That must have been one weak mask, then.

Simeon: *gif of someone drinking tea*

Levi: *angry crow sticker*

Levi: That's not the point!

Levi: ANYWAY.

Levi: The horns of a certain animal were painted onto this mask. What animal was it?

MC: A goat.

Levi: Wrong!

Levi: It was a sheep.

Levi: Guess you'll have to find someone else to make your costumes.

Simeon: Only in the first edition.

Levi: What??????

Simeon: Your copy of Volume 5 must be a first edition. It actually wasn't supposed to say sheep, but rather goat.

Simeon: The Celestial word for goat is incredibly similar to the one for sheep, so I can understand how both the translator and the publisher made the initial mistake. However, once I brought the error to their attention, it was corrected from the second edition onward.

Simeon: So, MC is actually correct.

Levi: *surprised crow sticker*

Levi: *surprised crow sticker*

Levi: *surprised crow sticker*

Simeon: Do you believe me now, Leviathan?

Levi: *flapping crow sticker*

Levi: You're the great Christopher Peugeot!

Simeon: That's my pen name, yes.

Levi: You're a god among men!

Levi: I mean angels.

Levi: I'M NOT WORTHY!

MC: Does this mean that you'll make the costumes for the play?

Simeon: I don't think he's going to answer for a bit, MC.

MC: True.

MC: He's probably paralyzed from shock.

Simeon: Levi, I will send you a synopsis of the play so far and a breakdown of each role. You can look through everything at your leisure.

Levi: I could die right here and now with no regrets!

MC: Please don't. If you do, we'd have to ask Asmo.

Levi: Don't you dare! He'll sully the great Christopher Peugeot's sacred fantasy realm with his filth!

Simeon: I wouldn't necessarily dismiss eroticism as filth. It IS a valid art form.

MC: *surprised crow sticker*

Levi: Not where my brother is concerned.

Simeon: Whatever you say.

MC: *surprised crow sticker*

[yunoteru4ever]

A big review of Sakae Esuno's 'Big Order,' Part 1: The Actual "Review" Part

It begins.

This all began with a simple ask from @bluescxrs, but I've definitely made it grow in my mind since I received that request. What began as "Can you outline the story differences, particularly in relation to Eiji/Rin" became me thinking "I should make that just one part of a much larger, thorough review."

So for a while now, I've been sporadically writing parts of this post while simultaneously asking myself "How do I even do this?" More specifically: How do I review a manga AND an anime that are so different from one another? How do I explain the differences between the mediums without proliferating tons of spoilers? And is that even really part of a standard "review," or does this need to be multiple posts?

My ultimate conclusions are that I need to treat this like any other anime review I've put together on my main Tumblr. I think going deeper on what separates the two versions of "Big Order" is going to require its own post with more spoilers, though.

I'll just be upfront about this,, and state what any regular readers of this Tumblr probably already know: I've come here to praise "Big Order" as a manga, and to be less kind to its anime incarnation.

Background/Behind-the-Scenes

In case you didn't know, Big Order was Sakae Esuno's follow-up manga after he struck gold with Mirai Nikki/Future Diary. I'm sure he was feeling the pressure to produce a worthwhile follow-up after he hit it big with that one. But thankfully, Big Order was a successful series for Monthly Shōnen Ace. At least it was successful enough to run for almost as long as Future Diary did and get collected into 10 volumes. Kadokawa has never shied away from ending a series early if it fails to catch on, so that speaks well to Big Order's reception. Admittedly, it never generated the same numbers or level of passion among its readership. But as Esuno himself has said, a mangaka is lucky to create even one series as beloved as Mirai Nikki. And it's not like Big Order didn't have devoted readers of its own — especially in Japan, but to some degree also in China and parts of Europe.

It never made much of an impact on the Western hemisphere, though. Mirai Nikki's success in America and much of the Western hemisphere came largely in the wake of its popular anime adaption. I can't speak to how well Big Order did as a scanlation. But unfortunately, the manga wasn't officially published in North America until AFTER its anime adaption had finished airing... to pretty much the opposite of acclaim.

The anime was produced by the same studio that adapted Future Diary a few years earlier: Asread. Although Esuno has stated his overall satisfaction with the anime adaption of Future Diary and said that he sat in on some story meetings to see how they were adapting the manga and provide some feedback, I've never seen him comment whatsoever on the anime adaption of Big Order. In fact, I don't think I've ever read or seen any interviews that were conducted with him since post-2015! The closest I've ever seen him come is confirming that they were developing an OVA prior to its eventual release in late 2015. That's it. As such, we have no idea how involved he was or wasn't with the development of Big Order's anime, nor do we know what he thinks about the end result. I don't want to assume his feelings... but I have to imagine that they're less positive than his opinion of Future Diary's anime.

We'll circle back to why I think that at the end of this post, though. For now, let's dig into what this series is actually about.

The First Chapter/Episode's Plot Setup

Ten years prior to this story, everything changed. A massive cataclysm struck the globe that killed approximately 3.5 billion people... about half of the world's population. At the same time, the world saw the appearance of the first "Orders" — people with supernatural abilities that can be activated verbally, or sometimes just mentally. People become Orders when when a floating, intangible fairy-like girl named "Daisy" appears to them and grants them a single wish. The Order's ability is based upon how Daisy interprets their wish... but no one who isn't an Order or potential Order can even see Daisy, so how or why these superpowered individuals come into exist remains unknown to the general public.

Daisy's first appearance before Eiji.

In the aftermath of that disaster now known as "the Great Destruction," the majority of the world's governments collapsed. It fell to the United Nations to create and establish interim governments and oversight councils as a way to maintain a semblance of order. Most of these governments are led by Orders who are put under the U.N.'s well-paid employ, with their supernatural abilities serving as a means to both maintain local control and enforce the law among normal civilians.

Eiji Hoshimiya is our focal protagonist. He's an 18-year-old high school student who lost his parents in the cataclysm 10 years ago. To make matters worse, he's the very person who accidentally caused the Great Destruction — an unintended side effect of his wish to "dominate the world" running amuck. Yup, Eiji is an Order, although he's sworn off ever powers after what happened back then and kept the secret of his guilt to himself. After both his parents died in the Great Destruction, Eiji's main focus has been to simply give his terminally ill stepsister, Sena, whatever joy and attention he can manage to provide during the limited time she has left. When our story starts, she supposedly has just six months left before a rare form of leukemia takes her life. And once Sena passes away, Eiji's fine with accepting whatever punishment come his way for his actions 10 years ago. He only wishes to hide his guilt for as long as it takes to keep Sena smiling.

A symbol appears on the user's palm whenever they invoke their Order ability, which also calls forth a "stand" or "avatar" figure that embodies and ultimately enacts the user's Orders. Just like Daisy, these avatars are only visible to other Orders.

(This is a VERY LONG post, so I'll put the rest under a cut for everyone's benefit.)

Rin Kurenai is our secondary protagonist despite the fact that she's also something of an antagonist — a dichotomy that's certainly famillar to anyone who's experienced Future Diary. When Rin shows up at Eiji's school one day, Eiji immediately crushes on her. Unfortunately for Eiji, Rin isn't the sweet new transfer student she initially appears to be. In reality, she's an Order that's come to this school to fulfill a personal vendetta. After spending 10 years working training herself up while trying to locate and identify the person who caused her parents to die in the Great Destruction, she's finally arrived at her chance for vengeance. Her sole dream stands before her: A chance to kill Eiji Hoshimiya.

Some facts to consider about how Eiji and Rin's Order powers work:

Eiji's power of "domination" lets him control absolutely anything within his "domain," which is defined as anywhere he's been + a surrounding radius of roughly 2 meters. This domain ALSO includes anything vertically aligned with that same space/radius. (In other words, if he walks the entireity the first floor of a three-story building, he now can control anything that happens on not only the first floor, but ALSO all the same spaces above him on the other two floors. Or if he flies above the ground, he can now control the ground directly below that airspace. Get it?) Oh, and his control/domination isn't limited to just giving orders to people and/or creatures within that space — he can literally control the laws of physics if he so wishes. He basically controls reality itself within his domain. But importantly, the moment that something he's controlling leaves his domain? He loses all power over it. And he can do nothing to anyone or anything that never enters his domain.

Rin's also an Order, and her power is regeneration. Whenever she so wishes, she can heal herself as well as anyone and anything within arm's reach. This allows her to repair broken weapons or heal wounded allies, of course, but it also auto-triggers any time she dies, reviving her in seconds. This renders her effectively immortal.

Given the above facts, when Eiji is faced with a relentless immortal assassin whose only wish is to kill him by any possible means, he makes the decision to use his powers on Rin by giving her two consecutive orders:

Order #1: Rin can never harm him or his sister.

Order #2: Rin can never leave his domain. (Because if she did, she'd break free of Order #1.)

Just like that, our lead characters are thrust into an unlikely, antagonistic "partnership."

But wait; there's more!

If you're wondering how Rin knew that Eiji caused the cataclysm? That's because she's an agent of the Ten Hands — a group of ten powerful Orders who made up the interim U.N. government of Kyushu... until now. Because when Eiji and Rin wind up at their headquarters in Dazaifu, it turns out that the Ten Hands have just declared they are the next evolution of humanity and intend to rule the world. (If you're familiar with the X-Men? Just picture Magneto's Brotherhood of Mutants :P). Rin's went rogue even from THAT rogue organization, though, because Ten Hands wanted her to capture Eiji alive! They're after Eiji because his powers are useful to them AND he makes the ideal figurehead/decoy to front their organization. Once they declare war on the United Nations in Eiji's name (going so far as to include the public announcement that Eiji is the one to blame for the disaster of 10 years prior), Eiji find himself forced to cooperate and act as the figurehead/puppet ruler of the Ten Hands. Where else can he go when he's now the most wanted and hated person on the planet?

A spread giving an overview of the Ten Hands, aka "the Group of Ten."

But as an extra carrot-on-a-stick, the leader of the Ten Hands — Colonel Hiiragi — reveals to Eiji that they've kidnapped Sena. And he then suggests that if Eiji expands his influence over the world, he should logically eventually locate an Order that could cure Sena of her terminal illness.

So wait, what kind of story is this?

For me, the primary joy of Big Order's main plot comes from the characters constantly working to out-manuever and out-manipulate one another. This is often done in the form of Order "battles," sure — but rather than being about who can hit one another hardest with a superpower, those battles are still fundamentally about pulling tricks, feints, and ultimately out-manuevering someone.

Eiji thinking what EVERYBODY in this story is thinking, essentially.

You can see it built into where the setup I described above leaves off. See, it's like this:

Because the Ten Hands has already announced Eiji as their leader and the cause of the great destruction PLUS they've got his sister, he is blackmailed into becoming their figurehead leader.

To try and counter this, Eiji swiftly places his domination order on every member of the Ten Hands, giving him the ability to control them individually while they're inside the base — providing him with leverage. IN THEORY.

But what he (and we) don't initially know is that Colonel Hiiragi had already put his own unique Order in place that covers the same base, and Hiiragi's power completely counteracts Eiji's control of the Ten Hands' people. (Hiiragi's power does NOT, however, counteract Eiji's control of the objects, air, physics, etc. within the base's property.)

But there's another complication to consider: One of the members of the Ten Hands is using his ability to stop time to freeze Sena, preventing her disease from progressing. As such, anything Eiji does to attack within the base or undermine the Ten Hands' plans will obviously cause that person to unfreeze Sena, returning her lifespan to a ticking clock.

With all that going on, Can Eiji really do anything to push his own agenda and exercise his free will? That's just ONE example of the complicated tit-for-tat thinking that makes up so many of Big Order's character interactions and confrontations.

Eiji and Rin's relationship is a microcosm of this stuff. Eiji knows Rin can't kill him thanks to his Order ability, but he also knows that she's foolishly obsessed with killing him personally to the point that she refuses to let anyone else have that pleasure. As a result, the person who hates him the most also becomes the person he's most able to trust. But that doesn't mean Rin's ready to give up on trying to trick him into a not-quite-accidental death, either. There's a push and pull to their mutual trust-laced-with-distrust.

Even within the Ten Hands themselves, there are a couple members who turn out to have more faith/trust in Eiji than they do in Colonel Hiiragi. Hiiragi's mission is ultimately somewhat compromised by his need for personal vengeance, whereas Eiji manages to gain faith and trust from some of the members based on how he indepently handles some things. All these personal motivations, unique powers, and relative/comparative intelligence mix to make a stew of actions and counteractions that I greatly enjoy reading. And by the time the story starts to move away from focusing on these complicated showdowns, you're far enough in that you should (hopefully) be attached to some of its characters already.

The Narrative and its Characters

From a writing POV, it's worth noting that Sakae Esuno took a different approach to writing Big Order as compared to how he wrote Mirai Nikki/Future Diary. See, Esuno had a pretty strong outline for the story when he started making Mirai Nikki. (Actually, he says he created two outlines for Mirai Nikki: One for "I get to write the full-length story" and one for "I have to wrap things up quickly because the series gets cancelled early.") However, on Big Order, Esuno opted to only plan where the story would go in a much looser, vaguer way. He said he wanted to leave himself more leeway to explore whatever new ideas he thought of as the story developed, not constrain himself so much to a tightly pre-planned narrative. I'm not telling you this as a form of judging his choice negatively, though; I can see the appeal to both approaches. I'm just telling y'all this because I think those differences in approach are sometimes noticeable.

There are occasionally pieces of info or hints within the manga that don't seem to go anywhere, and you might even notice some of these are dropped entirely in the anime. A prime example: The early chapters of the manga have Sena referencing that the doctor working caring for her at the hospital is her and Eiji's uncle. Whether she's speaking literally or somehow metaphorically, this never goes anywhere. Heck, we never even see or meet that character! So it's understandable that those references are left out of the anime. It doesn't feel like it's some lost subplot that was left hanging, but it's just the kind of detail that feels like it might hold meaning down the line... yet never does. Those sorts of "dead-end details" get increasingly rare the longer the manga goes on, however. The story grows leaner and tighter as it nears its end.

Beyond that, this story has all the hallmarks I've come to love about Sakae Esuno's works: Tons of plot twists (much more in the manga), the ability to vascillate wildly between darkness and comedy, engaging psychological underpinnings to the characters (mostly in the manga), a twisted focal relationship... it's all here. What's not to love? Well, I suppose Big Order and Future Diary share one weakness: Despite both stories supposedly having a global impact, the entire story stays isolated to Japan. Future Diary justified this with some passing text explaining that Deus has intentionally developed or lured his future god prospects into one area. Big Order's justification is that the entire "Great Destruction" was caused within Japan due to research taking place in Japan. Perhaps not as strong of an overall driver for the localized focus, but it works decently enough.

So let's dig a little into that "twisted focal relationship." Despite what I said previously about Rin and Eiji's "dual protagonists where one is also kind of an antagonist" dynamic being similar to Future Diary's Yuki and Yuno, these characters almost feel like counterpoints to the leads of Mirai Nikki. Although Eiji visually looks a lot like Yuki and Rin might initially give off Yuno vibes thanks to her aggressive nature and twin hanging hair-tails, they're each more unlike their Esuno-created predecessors than they are similar to them. And so — as I said in that old post I just linked to — Eiji and Rin almost feel like a reaction/response to Yuki and Yuno, intentionally designed to flip or trade off a lot of their individual traits while still maintaining a select few similarities.

Rin's blind rage at Eiji can make her kind of a moron at times. Delightfully so.

Both of them get to grow and change a lot over the course of the manga's story, though they don't get anywhere NEAR as much growth in the anime. The ten or so manga chapters following the end of the anime are particularly good for Eiji, who goes through a period of trauma-response depression that's very well-portrayed IMO. I think him already being in his mindset helps him cope with the wild perception-warping crap he sees and experiences shortly before the final stretch of the story kicks in. Rin's growth is more gradual; at first, she's just forced to gain some empathy for the person she's spent a decade hating. That helps her to eventually shift her desire for revenge onto other parties. But in the end, she gets smarter AND kinder, learning to let go of her desire for revenge and legitimately finding a way to forgive something that once seemed unforgivable. It's actually touching, IMO.

But you know, Yuki/Yuno's relationship never got a strong outside competitor. Let's face it: Yuki never showed any interest in or attraction towards Akise, regardless of Akise's own feelings. On the flip side, the Eiji/Rin relationship actually gets a pretty strong third party thrown into the mix: Iyo.

Iyo! No surname needed, evidently?

If there's a tritagonist in Big Order, it's Iyo — a member of the Ten Hands' leadership who demonstrates fr more compassion thant he rest. Iyo's a shrine maiden/miko whose Order granted her the power to predict the future with 99% accuracy by asking any question to the heavens, summoning a slip of paper that provides the answer. The downside to this is that whenever someone acts upon her predictions they are inherently changing the course of fate, so their actions will affect whether the prediction remains true. And for Iyo, that's a personal matter: Her very first question to the heavens (and thus the first prediction handed down to her) was to find out who her future husband would be... which is when she learned that she was destined to marry Eiji Hoshimiya and bear his child. This prediction + Eiji's natural kindness towards her are two reasons why she finds herself swiftly infatuated with Eiji as soon as he aligns himself with the Ten Hands. And thus, Iyo winds up being the third spoke in a love triangle that also includes Eiji and Rin. But she's not hanging around just to undermine or irritate Rin, because she proves to be an invaluable partner to Eiji's goals in her own right.

I adore both Iyo AND her twitchy bunny-ear head-ribbon. Part of me can't help but want her to win Eiji's heart, because she deserves the world. However, because her infatuation with Eiji is driven by her prediction, her attraction to him is kind of questionable IMO; does she only fall for Eiji because she was told that she would by her powers? Regardless of the reason, her feelings drive her to try and spend more time with him/get closer to him. The knock-on effect, however, is that because she's acting upon her own prediction, that means her actions have every possbility of destroying/altering the very future she's pining for.

The writing here definitely favors Eiji and Rin as the core couple, but unlike Future Diary, Big Order isn't going to give you a clear-cut answer as to who the characters wind up with. Future Diary wound up cementing Yuno and Yuki's relationship canonically because, well, that was the whole point of the thing. The central Yuki/Yuno relationship was the absolute core of Future Diary's narrative, but conversely, the Eiji/Rin relationship isn't the most important relationship in Big Order. It's a major focus, sure, but it's not propping up the entire narrative — which I think is why Esuno feels no need to canonize it. Although the story definitely seems to favor Eiji/Rin, neither the manga nor the anime explicitly state who Eiji winds up with (if anyone).

Instead, the core relationship that's propping up Big Order's story is a familial one: The one between Eiji and Sena. Sena is the stepsister he didn't think he wanted and who he was initially hesitant to get to know. Ultimately, however, she won him over with her warmth and sweetness. When their parents were killed in the Great Destruction, Eiji wound up isolating himself from everyone BUT Sena. Which is a big reason why Eiji's ultimate goal is merely to protect her and give her happiness for as long as she lives (which, as previously stated, is currently expected to be only six more months). It definitely calls to mind Yuno's own simplistic goal of "one day of perfect happiness," etc. But while Yuno's goal is inherently flawed, Eiji's is theoretically possible... right up until the Ten Hands ruin it. Because just a few chapters into the story, they start telling her all kinds of shit that Eiji had been trying to hide from her.

Sena starts out as little more than a background MacGuffin, but she isn't content to stay on those sidelines. Once she has agency to do so, she starts participating in her brother's struggle despite this being against pretty much everybody else's wishes. Her unwanted intervention makes for a pretty fun spanner in the works of the story... but I'm not going to get too specific about it. I think it's really fun to watch her fight back against her own "MacGuffin" status — too much fun for me to spoil how it all happens.

Anime vs. Manga: The Short Version

The anime adapts the first 32 chapters of the manga over the course of its ten episodes. MOST of the major plot beats are the same, at least. But along the way, there are LOADS of scenes altered in small ways, as well as some added and some entirely deleted. And of course, once it reaches the final episode? There's a new ending and denouement so that everything stops there. They do not leave anything open for a possible future season that would adapt the remaining 22 chapters of the story — those are simply ignored.

Now yes, the anime aired while the manga was still ongoing. But... the manga was also MUCH farther along than the anime would lead you to believe — 50 chapters had already been published when the very first episode aired! So the decision to cut the manga's story off at Chapter 32 is definitely a weird one.

To briefly summarize the most common changes made to the first 32 chapters in the process of turning them into 10 anime episodes, it's like this:

The anime turns the nudity / sexual content / fanservice WAAAAAY the fuck up. Like, a simple hug in the manga becomes grinding/dry-humping in the anime. A girl in full clothing in the manga will become a girl in a very loose-hanging dress with most of her body exposed in the anime. And, look — for better or worse, Esuno is no stranger to tossing female nudity into his manga, either for some pointless fanservice or sometimes to further accentuate the horror on display. But even the most fanservice-y manga scenes are extended and expanded upon a lot in the anime.

Ton of background information that provides foundations for how things work in this world is removed. The manga often ends a chapter with an info page providing details on a supporting character's backstory or how one specific powerset works. These are the kinds of lore-dumps that are often used as screens that frame commercial breaks in a lot of major anime (Attack on Titan and My Hero Academia both have done this). In Big Order, however, the framing cards for ad breaks are just pieces of art, and no attempt is made at providing any of these additional details in any format. They're just left on the cutting-room floor, which I think definitely makes a lot of things both more shallow AND more confusing.

An example of one of these "data pages" within the manga.

THE MOST IMPORTANT CHANGE OF ALL: This one bullet could be an entire essay of me complaining ALL BY ITSELF, but I'll try to keep this brief: In the manga, a number of characters point out that Eiji and Sena aren't actually related by blood, so they theorize that maybe their relationship is somehow romantic/sexual etc.? This suggestion is always shot down by a disgusted Eiji, who will usually insult the theory/theorizer while explaining that being "family" isn't just about your blood ties — but regardless, Sena is absolutely his family, and so on, because she's always had his back. And it's sweet. They are willing to do anything to support one another, even when they see the other one headed in the wrong direction, but it's always very pure and warm-hearted and UMMMMMMMMM, the anime goes in the exact opposite fucking direction. These stepsiblings are absolutely fucking one another in the anime. I cannot and will not ever understand what drove them to do this. Whatever the reason, this is SO antithetical to the manga's point and the central relationship of the story that it does a good job ruining the anime all on its own, even without the other changes... and that's without me touching upon the ethical question of 18-year-old Eiji fucking the 13-year-old Sena. One of the weirder aspects of this ill-advised change is how this whole new subplot has NO impact on the rest of the story! The scenes of them being sexually/romantically involved contain no voice work, for one thing. But also, some of the scenes from the manga where he angrily denies his relationship with Sena being like that are still present in the anime. But I guess now they're just really aggressive lies? He literally beats up one character for suggesting he might be attracted to Sena. Which works great in the manga, but now it's like.... wtf? Also, Eiji having feelings for/involvement with Sena *never* comes up when he's dealing with his relationship with Rin or Iyo — he's still flustered by the idea of sex with anyone or being close to a cute girl, etc. It really comes across as though Asread just kinda inserted this gross shit without telling anyone outside of the animation team directly involved with the new scenes.

WHY, FUCKING WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

Suffice it to say that for as much as I love the suspense and twists of the manga, I can't recommend its anime incarnation unless you just want to see the characters (1) in full color and (2) in motion. It makes a somewhat amusing side dish to the manga, but it's a very poor substitute.

But I'm going to get somewhat more in-depth about all the differences between the two in my next post on the subject, which will include sharing some spoilers about what happens AFTER Chapter 32 in the manga. It's a big enough task that I think it deserves its own separate writeup. And lord knows that this one is already long enough. :P

[dextixer]

RWBY has not all been "planned from the start" and Volume 9 proves this

An often had discussion in this community is whether or not RWBY has been planned from the very start, or at least, what is happening in the show. While these discussions sometimes come up in other fandoms especially if a story is known to have had production troubles or refocusing, RWBY has very intense disagreements on this issue in no small part due to its main creator passing away very early in the shows production.

Since i saw a relevant meme quite recently referencing this, i thought to expand a bit on the topic.

Some planning

Let us first acknowledge one important thing. A lot of aspects of the show HAVE been planned in advance. In our critic wiki you can find the "Monty Files" section in which you can see that Monty pre-planned a lot of RWBY before anyone else even knew about it. He kept art portfolios, ideas etc.

While there were definitely things that he would sometimes add on a whim, a lot of things we see in the show, or at least saw in the early volumes of the show were definitely there for a reason.

The reason i am saying it is because i have sometimes seen takes in critical communities of RWBY about how nothing of the show is planned and casting various aspersions, even going so far as saying that the map of RWBY is "shit" because it wasnt properly planned and was first made on a napkin. Which is half of the story, since what started on a napkin was then converted and modified into an actual map, proving the planning in advance of the show.

And at the very least Volumes 8-9 were pre-planned and writen as Volumes themselves. As in, the episodes and Volumes were written and planned BEFORE the production started.

Ideas are not plans

What i have often heard about Volume 9 is that it was "planned" for a long time, that it was "planned" from since before the show even started. And i am of the opinion that calling it all being "planned" is a very incredible overstating of reality.

The fact that the showrunners themselves admited to having no idea WHERE to put this volume alone shows that it was not "planned". If it was planned the volume would have had a definitive place in the story where it can fit. That is what we call an idea, not a "plan". And this same thing applies to a lot of RWBY.

I think we have all heard that the volumes V3+ are being produced while referencing/using Montys RWBY "bible" that supposedly had 13 entire volumes in it. While i cannot cast doubt on those aspersions i can at the very least state that it is UNLIKELY that the "bible" contained coherent plans of how, where and why each Volume should happen. Many creators often have ideas that they write down for future usage, or things that they expect to cover. While i am no writer of shows even my threads start from simple outlines of what i should talk about.

The writers are also very adept at changing their writing on the fly or adding/removing things. Neo for example is one of the greatest examples of that. I sincerely doubt that Neo was always supposed to have the role that she has now. And yet now from a nameless henchman she became the main antagonist of an entire volume. Eddy since V7 has kind of become known for lampshading criticisms in the episodes that he writes, which very much show reactivity from the writing team, even if the result is less than desirable.

And we also should not forget the productions of Volumes 4-6. Which were written and made at least partially during the time that these Volumes were ALREADY airing. And my god people really cant talk about RWBY being "planned" when some of it was LITERALLY writen by the seat of their pants.

Something planned is no guarantee of quality

This is a bit tangential but i needed to get this out too. I have seen many a critic fall into the trap of arguing what exactly in the show is planned or not. In reality, it does not matter when discussing the merits or failures of certain episodes or scenes.

Some of the best moments in television for example are very much improvized. Some games see bugs turned into features or changed into something that fits the game. Anime and animated shows are no different in this regard.

Something being planned/intended or not does not matter to the end result of the thing. Whether its actually good or not to the person perceiving it. Why focus on criticizing BB for being or not being planned? Its irrelevant. Regardless if BB was planned or not, its still a shit romance. Does it matter if Neo was planned or not? Not really, as both her and Roman were very much impromptu additions in V1-V3, Neo with being a completely new character and Roman getting a bigger role than he was supposed to have.

The only time the discussions about RWBY being planned or not should occur really is when some RWBY fanatics decide to praise the show to high heavens for things the show never did/had. Which is sadly pretty common.

Ending Word

So yeah, anyone talking about the show being "planned" is just perpetuating an undying myth about the show that is as false as it is never ending. At the end of the day though, in terms of critique of the show matters little however. Is it fine to point out that RWBY seemingly has problems due to lack of planning and impromptu writing/production? Yeah. But that should never be the focus of any critique and more often than not serves to just distract people from the more important points of discussion.

[aranarumei]

you WILL read my visions of hanzawa to tashiro

hi. I’m kiri. nice to see you here. this entire post is inspired by this lovely poll conducted by @dirtbra1n, specifically regarding the outfits tashiro would wear for the beauty contest (this is what I’m calling the crossdressing competition, if that name seems unfamiliar) in his third year. I shall also be referencing some of their writings because they are like, creative director for the hanzawa to tashiro ‘verse. if you have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about, uh. ask me ig. the point is, basically I started thinking about the actual realities of hanzawa to tashiro as like, a manga or just as a like, semi-linear story, and I was thinking about how exactly the school festival in tashiro’s third year would flow into that. and so I reread the chapters surrounding the school festival in sasaki to miyano, and this post became almost 6k. so I’m leaving the rest under the cut. technically, all of this is just voter propaganda.

to outline my thoughts a little bit, I voted “sailor style uniform (black & red)” in the poll originally but I was. Intrigued by the option that was just “other (elaborate) (please)” because like… well, what if there was a better option, one that I hadn't considered? you can find my reasoning for picking that outfit in the tags of the poll, but I'll be going over it again, so there’s no need. anyways, I was dwelling on it. wondering how to figure out what outfit might work best. and I wanted to confirm that miyano’s outfit for the contest had indeed been a kimono bc like. god what if I was wrong. so I reread the festival chapters.

and let me tell you!! when you are no longer looking at sasaki and miyano during the festival chapters, there is So Much Stuff happening!! first off: to confirm, miyano’s outfit is referred to as a “kimono-style outfit” [ch 22, sasaki to miyano] in the translation I’m reading, which to me is one of the reasons I’d argue against that being tashiro’s competition outfit—it would be a repetition of the previous year. 

and then, to my absolute surprise, kuresawa as understudy is wearing what looks like… a sailor uniform [ch 23, sasaki to miyano], and from googling screencaps of the anime it looks like it is very specifically a black & red sailor uniform! (perhaps this is where the poll choice originated)

to go on a bit of a tangent, I remember the exact moment I realized that a large part of hirano to kagiura’s timeline was taking place in volume one of sasaki to miyano. like as I write this, the hirano of hirano to kagiura isn’t even a third year! thinking on that, for the timeline of hanzawa to tashiro, I think it would be interesting if it started sort of later in the sasaki to miyano timeline—miyano’s (and therefore tashiro’s) third year. with flashes back towards previous years as needs must (I personally would love to see a lot more of the ping pong club). (yeah I’m so normal about the fact that the anthology comic had short stories with sasamiya hirakagi and hanzashiro. so normal why do u ask.) with that in mind, placing the beginning of hanzawa to tashiro around tashiro’s third year gives me a better idea what exactly I want the festival to represent—a launchpad for the Main Ideas and Themes that will develop throughout a theoretical hanzawa to tashiro. this includes but is not limited to tashiro’s exploration of gender. this is in contrast to how I’d argue the festival functions in sasaki to miyano, where it is the like. Realization Point for the whole story? after chapters upon chapters of miyano dissecting his relationship with sasaki, he finally… overlaps with him, literally, in their inner thoughts. it’s an obvious requiting of feelings—what the series has been building up to since the start. on the other hand, I see this festival more like the “do you want to kiss him?” [ch 6, hirano to kagiura] question of hirano to kagiura—it’s what catapults the hanzawa to tashiro story into action. 

but before we get to that: what are hanzawa and tashiro up to in the previous year’s festival?  

when the beauty contest is first brought up, there’s a couple of outfit suggestions thrown forward: sailor outfit, blazer, temple priestess (I assume this is a miko, though I’m unsure of what’s said in the original japanese), and a teacher uniform. not much to say regarding this—it’s a pretty quick moment that illustrates what some common choices could be. (love hanzawa by the way for being like hm. maybe we need to question these guys to make sure they’re not developing a biased view of women [ch 19, sasaki to miyano])

as for how all this crossdressing is facilitated, hanzawa masato has a big sister who cosplays [ch 19, sasaki to miyano]. we know he also has two brothers who are gay and like that’s why it’s like. carry on the family line… this is something you’ll feel so normal about. no worries. that interests me. first off: masato middle child having crazy elder sibling vibes to everyone else makes him so interesting. he’s just like me for real. it does make me wonder like… huh, doesn’t he have a big sister to also possibly carry on the family line…? but I suppose she would likely change her last name if she ever got married. still that’s an interesting dimension to the entire situation. the idea of his big sister cosplaying is also so good because it means that every sibling masato has is kind of quirky. I mean I personally don’t imagine masato’s big sister as a secretive cosplayer if she’s lending her stuff out like this. so the image of hanzawa masato being his freakish (affectionate) dyed hair secret piercings normal self around his siblings who are like very out and about with their eccentricities (only eccentric as it compares to “normal” societal ideals, of course) compels me. 

next detail I want to harp on about: the scene where tashiro is stunned by kuresawa in a wig [ch 22, sasaki to miyano] like. Gets Me. because as far as I can tell there, kuresawa is not doing anything but wearing a wig and not wearing his glasses (which, to be fair, can make one nigh unrecognizable. I used to win staring contests by taking off my glasses bc ppl would be so surprised by my face they’d blink). and this beauty contest, along with earlier chapters, make the point that even though miyano looks quite cute, he is not exactly feminine to the point of being like a standard girl. when hanzawa’s helping him with the kimono, he’s like. ah this was a good choice. kuresawa was a given, but you’ve got pretty broad shoulders, too. [ch 22, sasaki to miyano] so we see affirmations of miyano’s masculinity here. the point of this is that tashiro sees what he assumes to be a cute girl improbably in an all-boys school, and immediately goes up to say hi, even though this cute girl is taller than him and also just kuresawa in a wig. what this says to me is that the Lines of Gender are much blurrier for tashiro than they are for miyano, which interests me.

(will not comment on the way miyano reacts to the situation like. please stop telling me abt this or I will have bl fantasies. and how imagining tashiro in one is a "little too easy" [ch 22, sasaki to miyano] like. I think this says what it says)

tashiro is actually so gender this festival. he’s has fun discussing what his “female name” would be and it’s literally just gon-chan, which is not a different reading or a replacing part of the name with “ko,” it is just a shortened version of his name + -chan. and miyano’s like you’re way too accepting of this. [ch 24.5, sasaki to miyano] once again, they contrast each other: tashiro is somewhat interested in this whole affair while miyano wants to be completely separate from it. part of that is due to miyano being hyper-aware of his lack of masculine features and therefore specifically against crossing any sort of gender boundaries—this is evident in how kuresawa is also much more chill about the experience, but while tashiro is also chill, unlike kuresawa he seems genuinely invested and even delighted? 

this is further compounded by the scene post-festival where shirahama wants to be not-single for christmas and then tashiro goes. want me to crossdress...? [ch 28, sasaki to miyano] like okay. tashiro’s offer is indicating that maybe he’s still thinking about the beauty contest in a way that others maybe didn’t. also how he assumes this is like. Functionally Equivalent or at least a Salve to shirahama lacking a girlfriend… do u see the #girl inherent here. the blurring of tashiro’s gender. in this same scene, miyano is then surprised by how unfazed tashiro is about the concept of sasaki and miyano dating. it’s a fun contrast to shirahama many chapters later who is unsure if they’re even supposed to discuss their relationship in public [ch 42, sasaki to miyano]. 

we learn a lot about hanzawa around this time, too. the festival and proceeding chapters are when we learn of hanzawa’s brothers, his joking-but-not-really pressure to carry on the family line, and specifically, a very illuminating conversation he has with his older brother—where he blurts out "i wish you'd stop bringing every conversation around to romance!" [ch 28, sasaki to miyano] 

I would say that this, by far, is the most outwardly emotional we ever see hanzawa masato get. and it’s such an interesting sentiment, because hanzawa clearly does have an interest in romance—“I sensed someone was having relationship troubles, so I came running” and “I do enjoy stories of other people, so long as I don’t get caught up in any displays of jealousy” [both from ch 38, sasaki to miyano] and really, his whole demeanor in hirano to kagiura where he’s carefully watching their relationship to the point that he recognizes the specific ringtone kagiura is coded to on hirano’s phone. [ch 39, sasaki to miyano] miyano literally points this out in his head in the actual chapter hanzawa has this outburst. hanzawa masato clearly likes romance—I think he just doesn’t like it when it’s applied to himself. [see: this post by @dirtbra1n for further reading]

tashiro also has an awkward relationship with romance. once sasaki and miyano get together for real, tashiro asks what their dates are like (“normal stuff”) and then asks what kuresawa and his gf’s dates are like (“normal stuff”) and gets frustrated because like, what does that even mean, right? [ch 33, sasaki to miyano] note the way tashiro draws no real line of differentiation between kuresawa and miyano’s relationships in this conversation, even though in his frustrated outburst, he bemoans the lack of a girlfriend in specific (at least in the translation I’m working off of)—I genuinely feel like the lines of gender and sexuality are fairly blurred for tashiro and he just hasn’t noticed it. we then hear that the one time he’d been to a group date he was so nervous he’d forgotten the entire ordeal. (man and he goes to one again and makes fun of shiarahama for being the only one who didn’t get a girlfriend out of it even though he also didn't get one. [ch 43, sasaki to miyano]) so like, with tashiro’s lack of experience and hanzawa’s general avoidance, I think they could be weird about romance… together. [see: this post by @dirtbra1n which encapsulates what makes the concept fun]

it’s telling to me that hanzawa’s outburst is about romantic pressure, while the clarification that comes after where he says not gay and is attracted to women is a much more minor conversation. I don’t think hanzawa is purposefully lying here—I think, for him, it’s easy enough to say he’s attracted to women, simply because he’s not yet attracted to anyone, and sticking to the “default” is easy enough. like he says here, he enjoys spending time with his friends. and I think it’s obvious, the way hanzawa loves his friends, the way he’s always looking after them and worrying about their relationships, and the way he gives advice. (imagine throwing “I don’t get involved with women I don’t intend to marry” [ch 21.5, sasaki to miyano] ogasawara at hanzawa tho. I think the results would be hysterical.)

a really fun detail in this conversation: his brother says he hangs out with a lot of girls but doesn’t date any of them, which is partially why he’d suspected hanzawa was gay. during the festival, while hirano and hanzawa are chatting, hanzawa mentions asking his female friends for information on their taste, and hirano is like oh… not your girlfriend? and refers to a girl named kaede, who hanzawa refers to as just a friend. [ch 27.5, sasaki to miyano] at the movies, hanzawa’s with someone when he spots sasaki and miyano on a movie date—and she calls him masato-kun! [ch 27, sasaki to miyano] I don’t think this is his big sister since she’d be more likely to call him maa-kun, and the color of this girl’s hair isn’t the same screentone as the rest of the hanzawa family. this isn’t like super relevant analysis-wise but like. I’m taking notes so I can work her into hanzawa to tashiro. the fact that there are these girls hanzawa is friends with that we basically never see (harusono show us the forbidden women) does remind me of that one time miyano and ogasawara discuss hanzawa’s number of clones [ch 27, sasaki to miyano] and it’s like… yeah, he’s leading so many separate lives. 

that’s about all I wanted to touch on regarding previous events, so now I can talk about the prospective hanzawa to tashiro festival and specifically, tashiro’s experience with the beauty contest that year. 

the options presented in the poll mentioned earlier were: a sailor style uniform, a kimono, and a maid uniform, with some variations on presentation for each outfit. I think maid uniforms are boring so no comments there. in hanzawa to tashiro it would be brought up as a suggestion once and then get shut down, probably. the kimono was done by miyano last year, and I doubt anyone is raring to compare themselves against him, because miyano was pretty good, competition-wise. tashiro brings up the idea of doing a sort of, idol-outfit, because I have made up the idea in my head that while he’s not wildly into them, tashiro probably appreciates the cute & bright idol aesthetic as well as their clear voices. 

“idol outfits are complicated,” someone will say. “how’s anyone even gonna pull that off?” 

and tashiro, unthinking, will reply, “ah… you’re right! last year hanzawa-senpai helped us out, but what are we gonna do this year?” the class has turned to stare at him. “...what?” 

“hey, tashiro… you’d make an okay girl, wouldn’t you?” 

shirahama had brought it up (half-joking, half-knowing because he’d been in the same middle school as tashiro and there were just ways you knew things when you had been around someone long enough) when they were trying to figure out who would participate earlier, and tashiro hadn’t—disagreed, necessarily. besides, miyano was firmly against participating again, and kuresawa was in a different class, and though they’d gotten sidetracked by the discussions of what outfits would look best, well—tashiro had been a pretty decent option in the end, hadn’t he? 

and it’s convenient, anyways. tashiro’s close with hanzawa and could totally ask him for a favor. if tashiro goes to message hanzawa, he’ll see that they texted just two days ago. hanzawa had been such a reliable force as a third year—even now, he’d probably be happy to help one of his dear kouhais, wouldn’t he? 

in the face of all of that, tashiro objects not to joining the beauty contest but rather the idea of bothering hanzawa when he shouldn’t. and technically tashiro is always bothering hanzawa over text when he thinks of something random and messages him about it, but there’s a difference between that and taking so much of hanzawa’s precious time. but at the insistence of his classmates he concedes that at the very least, he’ll ask, and when he does, hanzawa agrees. this would be a surprise if tashiro did not know that hanzawa was always that nice, even when he was being kind of mean. 

once the Reality of doing the beauty contest sets in, I think tashiro would agree: idol outfits are complicated. if he’s doing this, he’d like his outfit to be something that isn’t a pain to wear. (for anyone who believes in an alternate universe where he does go with an idol outfit, go wild with it. this is but one of many paths) they can’t quite settle on an outfit yet that day, and like he’s reading their minds, hanzawa suggests that tashiro simply. invite himself over and decide that way. the class leaves tashiro with strict instructions to text their festival groupchat for final approval, and that’s… that. tashiro’s a little worried about how much time he’s taking up in the precious hours of the day hanzawa has, but he’s not… complaining, really.

before he meets up with hanzawa, tashiro and kuresawa probably end up talking about the festival. kuresawa’s probably not doing it this time, as I think he did it last year to support miyano more than anything else. I mean, he was the entire reason an understudy existed the previous year. “there’s no tasuko for you to fall for, unfortunately,” kuresawa says in the driest voice possible, and tashiro contemplates strangling him but like, only in a slapstick sense. even in his imaginations he’s not capable of great violence. but he does hope that gon-chan will look better than tasuko, at the very least. 

so the day arrives and they try on a couple of outfits that either hanzawa or tashiro suggest, but none of them look quite right or some of them are hard to judge since tashiro can’t even fit into them, and even the ones that he does fit into would need to be adjusted. after he’s tried on a miko outfit they both remember miyano’s kimono, and so they dig that out and try it on, and obviously they can’t reuse to same outfit as last year, but it’s then that tashiro remembers. hey. isn’t the sailor uniform kuresawa wore here? because I imagine post-festival, hanzawa simply took the costumes back since they were his sister’s. (insert nozaki cursing the fact that he’s not a bishounen and can’t wear sailor uniforms here. actually very seriously if you want delightful poking fun at shoujo romance tropes and just the most bisexual cast ever u should read gekkan shoujo nozaki kun.) 

and tashiro tries it on and it like. fits pretty well! the shoulders are maybe a bit broader than they need to be, but it rests on his frame in a way that feels like he’s actually in the correct clothing. and it needs some minor adjustments, but it’s comfortable, just like he wanted. and hanzawa is laughing all of a sudden and tashiro is a little defensive, because hanzawa says, “tashiro-kun, that doesn’t suit you at all,” and tashiro says, “what is that supposed to mean?” even though he knows the answer is probably that he’s grown taller [ch 33.6, sasaki to miyano] (at this current moment, he has forgotten that hanzawa’s sister is hanzawa’s height [ch 22, sasaki to miyano]) and at that point, it means that he probably just looks silly… but hanzawa instead says, “ah. don’t you think you look kind of like a delinquent? that dyed hair and that black and red sailor uniform… it’s certainly not a pure image, is it?”

“do I seem pure usually?” tashiro asks, breathing a little easier already. 

“sometimes,” hanzawa says. “only when you’re an idiot.” and before tashiro can get too mad hanzawa inspects the outfit for a while longer and tells him, “a dramatic image change… that could be fun. you said it’s comfortable, so that’s a bonus—maybe keep wearing it while we look at some other outfits? so you’ll notice if anything is wrong with it while your classmates discuss.”

so tashiro snaps a quick selfie and is fake-aggrieved about hanzawa calling him a delinquent, and the class groupchat realizes that while miyano had flubbed his script lines a little the last time, tashiro was far less self-conscious and they could go all out on concept, which meant that he was just wearing a sailor uniform at this moment, but he could absolutely be like. a high school girl rockstar. it’s not like we’d win based on your face alone, someone would text, and tashiro would be a little annoyed about it but pleased at the way hanzawa had looked pleased, anyways. hanzawa was right about the colors not suiting him, too. maybe a brighter color…? that wouldn’t fit the concept they’d decided on, but he still knows he’d look better in a different color. but either way, it seems like the outfit’s good, so he can change back to his normal clothes.

so that’s my explanation as to how, exactly, a “sailor style uniform (black & red)” would work. I’ve provided the means and the method. but like… conceptually, why is a black & red sailor uniform (possibly) the best choice?

my argument starts with the joy of a sailor uniform in general. unlike a lot of other possibilities, it's an outfit that is casual and fun and comfortable, so tashiro would feel fairly natural in it. at this very moment, under this context, it's a Costume, but for a girl attending school, it could just be her everyday outfit. and that’s good in comparison to something like a maid outfit, which feels more obvious in its construction as a performance. but if you wear something that is kind of an everyday outfit, it blurs the lines between what's Real and what is being Performed, right? 

the reason I prefer (black & red) over (white & blue) is that black and red is a bit of an... unusual color scheme, as I had hanzawa point out for me. as I outlined above, it gives the class a Concept to latch onto, and a reason for tashiro to wear something that’s a bit simple yet have that be his entry for the beauty contest. shirahama 100% writes the script section. I believe in his gal game experience. so black and red pushes the outfit more into costuming territory and gives the believability of a Performance, but it also does so in a way that centers the Performance on like, tashiro having a kind of edge that he usually doesn’t, not on him actually crossdressing. 

so this gives a third year tashiro both the space to explore gender while being partially in denial about it if needed. and the fact that he can do both will actually force him into making More Realizations about his gender, I think, because if it’s meant to be easy to deny something but it’s hard for you, well… what does that say about yourself? tashiro here is also fulfilling one of harusono’s favorite character things, where there’s a "bad boy that absolutely is not a bad boy" with tashiro’s pudding hair and delinquent concept. I also think he’d pierce his ears later as a gender thing so he’d really fit with that, then. 

I touched on this a little above but I truly believe that at some point, tashiro looks at himself and thinks that the colors don’t really suit him, and thinks that if he was picking out a version of this outfit just for himself, he’d change the colors to what he liked, and then come to the realization that the skirt is actually not like, the reason he feels odd in this outfit. for the other poll options of kimono and maid I’ve already touched on why I’m not too interested in them (done by miyano before + feels a little too tropey)

also I want tashiro to be sharp and black and red because he is so often spring green. simply for the image of it and nothing else. I want to see this come alive alongside the image of hanzawa staring at his reflection in the river, bleeding out, water colored partially with strange-pink-red blood masking his face from himself. whatever. I just have a need to position tashiro on this swath of blues like a sharp shock.

much love to @sunnnfish for bringing up the fact that a sailor style uniform, is, well, a sailor style uniform—it has a built-in connection to the water! which is wonderful, because hanzawa is partially being drowned by a river [see: this post by @dirtbra1n which elaborates a little on the river metaphor] and tashiro is. well. in this concept, he’s a sailor, which makes the opposing ways they interact with the idea of the river so interesting. hanzawa is like an anchor without a ship. sinking to rest at the bottom, dead and forgotten. but tie an anchor to a ship and it transforms from just a dead weight into something brilliantly useful. hanzawa is transformed too, I think, when he’s able to be useful. when he can care for his friends. 

as you can see, I couldn’t think of an “other (elaborate) (please)” option that would win over that sailor style outfit, because the moment I saw kuresawa wearing it, I felt like it was fate. however I do have some different outfit suggestions and possible directions in terms of what to do with them… in my mind these are just various things hanzawa gets tashiro to try on before they settle on the sailor outfit. I like the idea of an idol outfit—that’s why it’s a suggestion that tashiro gives before rejecting it, and the concept tashiro’s playing in the beauty contest is a kind of idol-esque figure, just not one with with all the frills. and I mentioned both a miko outfit and a kimono outfit as stuff tashiro tried on, mostly just because: 

hanzawa masato doesn’t like sundays. the shrine won’t be performing any exorcisms today. to be more specific, the miko that greets him feels his forehead with a warm hand and decides that he’s in good health. he doesn’t want her to know how little he values her judgment, so he bows to offer a prayer instead. [i of iii: ghosts, by @dirtbra1n] 

and

it’s night now, and everything that was green is either dark orange or blood red. dim and damp alleyways run jaggedly between impersonal skyscrapers and crumbling, very old storefronts. gonzaburou’s scared as hell about it. it’s all really cool. he’s standing on damp cobblestone, staring down at his scattered reflection. his hair is loose, and his roots have grown out way more than he likes. a dark kimono hangs loose off his frame. he frowns. [ii of iii: blood in the water, by @dirtbra1n]

and 

masato turns his head, creaky like a wooden doll. “…tashiro-kun.” kimono-clad, he offers a hand. “you’re not face first in muck this time.” [iii of iii: funeral arrangements, by @dirtbra1n]

since these outfits / images appear in hanzawa’s dreamscape I would personally love to mess with him and have the lines of reality to blur sooo badly for him. if I used these posts as a springboard I think it could be very fun in terms of balancing the wild metaphors hanzawa is living between and tashiro’s very Present self. I do think there is a universe where one of these ends up being the main choice and there’s a wonderful dive into it imagery-wise.

moving past the beauty contest, I fully believe the actual activity their class is doing a haunted house. I have a need for hanzawa masato to be inflicted by metaphorical ghosts along with crude ghost costumes. like I want him to experience the horrors while besieged by the tame horrors of an earnestly-created haunted house. the thought consumes me. 

way earlier, I said that I thought this festival would be a great launchpad in terms of really starting to explore and develop the main themes in hanzawa to tashiro. I think I’ve illustrated a lot of that just with what I’ve touched on above but… I’ll elaborate some more, here.

to me this festival brings up pretty much all of the main points that I think I’d want to address in a prospective hanzawa to tashiro: front and center is obviously the roots of exploring tashiro’s gender—him being older now, I assume that his hair, though slow growing, is growing, and I think if he let it down it would be… not long, but longer than would be seen as “normal”? so I think they would just style his real hair for the festival, which again blurs the lines of what’s real and what’s just a performance. his hair would be mostly brown with those blond tips, still, and when teased about how long it had gotten he’d sheepishly explain to hanzawa-senpai that every time he thought about dyeing it again he could hear hanzawa scolding him. and he didn’t want to go and trim the blond parts because, well. that would be boring. and hanzawa would laugh again only it would be a little softer and he’d say, “well, that’s very you, tashiro-kun,” and maybe he’d twirl a strand of it around his fingers, the blond tips bleach-brittle. 

and I think that the eventual “I really need to cut it some time…” comment, the beauty contest, the casual way the outfit had settled on his shoulders, the way the only thing that had felt out-of-character was the color of the outfit and the script his classmates had written… I think it would get tashiro questioning, a little. maybe he’d ask, again, how many piercings hanzawa had gotten, and even with no proper answer, decide to get his own. and while the piercings healed he would notice, when stores sold earrings, and then pick a few pairs out for himself. wear them on a casual day out. 

but before that, tashiro would be hanging out with hanzawa during the festival, and they’d be interacting within the framework of that familiar school even though hanzawa was now in university, but they’d also be interacting within the bounds of a school festival, which is an interesting mix of public and private that would really force someone to consider the way that they’re seen. the beauty contest would do the same. and so hanzawa would be hyper-aware of the idea of masks, and so, too, would tashiro. in his third year, hanzawa played fortune teller without a bad boy outfit because it had unsettled the rest of his class. [ch 26, sasaki to miyano] he probably has the most piercings out of all of them… not that he would let anyone know the number [second year novel illustrations and extras, sasaki to miyano (I spent way too long looking for this. in this same category kuresawa says ‘tashiro bought a gun’ and offers no further context) ]. but you can’t put hanzawa masato into a bad boy outfit and have it work, because he’s already performing a role, and I don’t think he knows how to switch out of it. 

and this same person is in university now, which is a very interesting place to be, because you’re still in school, but expected to be an Adult, which means he’s definitely being crushed by both the expectation of what he’s meant to do as well as the expectation that he should be doing things with more freedom than ever before. my mother once told me a story about a boy who is the son of the ship’s captain. and when it’s sinking, he waits patiently until the captain tells him what to do, and the ship is saved. she was told this same story when she was about to graduate high school, and this time, the boy drowned because he couldn’t think for himself. how confusing, to be expected to change the way you think so suddenly, she told me, and I think the same applies to hanzawa. 

and hanzawa, after devoting time to a festival that he’s no longer part of, would see tashiro in his element—helping out other classes, chatting up strangers, interacting with everyone with ease and being likable, the way he is naturally, the way hanzawa masato wakes up feeling like he’s forcing himself to be, knowing that the real thing in front of him is like this, unmatched—  

see, tashiro gets in extra practice with ping pong because there’s a table at a bathhouse on the way home. he’s charmed the older folks there so he helps out with cleaning, plays ping pong with them, and gets snacks in return. [ch 33, sasaki to miyano] one time he’d dragged hanzawa there and they’d had a nice bit of extra practice, but hanzawa doesn’t remember the ping pong as much as he remembers the way tashiro had so easily fit into conversation with everyone there, the way he was so clearly and plainly adored— 

hanzawa sees all of that, and then tashiro turns towards him and worries if hanzawa’s doing too much work. if he’s stretching himself thin, being here. if there’s anything he can do to help. and hanzawa would tell him, “you’re right, this does make me busier… but I like this kind of work.” and tashiro would know, plainly and truly, that hanzawa masato liked being around people. that he desired it, even. how embarrassing. I do think it would push hanzawa somewhere—the change he’s witnessing in tashiro and the way their relationship functions, even as they talk like normal. all of this happening in a space where there are crowds milling about and people hanzawa doesn’t know—both those from outside the school and all of the first years he has never met.

hanzawa would be sweet and sour in the way tashiro describes him [ch 33, sasaki to miyano] and it would be the same but feel different. like even the sour parts had their own kind of saccharine edge. maybe after tashiro changed back into his regular clothes, it felt strange to just leave, so he gets hanzawa to take him around his university. and maybe he meets kaede or some of hanzawa’s university friends and is reminded of hanzawa’s seventeen dual lives or however many there are at this point, and—wants. strangely. to—not even to be in every one of those spheres. but to know him better. 

it’s not like hanzawa changed much after graduation, it’s just that… tashiro is looking at him more, now. 

his class would lose the beauty contest, and tashiro would look at his sailor outfit and say, “it’s really not my color, anyways,” and hanzawa would hum in agreement. “you’re much more suited to spring greens, tashiro,” he’d say, and tashiro would huff a small laugh and say, “of course you know my favorite color,” and see if hanzawa was in a good enough mood to tell him was his favorite color was, too.

(and maybe, in the midst of all of this, tashiro is thinking about that damn water bottle he still has—the one hanzawa had told him to keep, the year before. there was something else that was being bottled here, too. sometime later they’d learn how to unscrew the cap.)

[alliluyevas]

hiii do u have any recs for books on mormon history? i'm mostly interested in how joseph smith's doctrine was shaped by american society around him and how mormon pioneers adopted settler colonialism/how they thought about race, also how they clashed with the american government and where mormons' anti-federal views began. but i'll really take recs on anything!!! google is not very helpful for finding mormon history books that are written from ppl outside the church lol

oh I am SO happy to help you, I love giving book recs.

I think all of the topics you've mentioned are fascinating and they're actually things I really want to dig deeper into myself. Most of what I've read so far has been either more overview/biography or focused on women's issues or polygamy. Obviously, both Mormon settler-colonialism and conflict with the federal government comes up while researching other topics, but I feel like I both want and need to read more specifically focusing on those subjects because they are definitely very important. I can still point you in the direction of a few books with either direct or tangential connection to your interests that I've read and liked, and some others I haven't read but have heard good things about.

Joseph Smith

For your question about Smith's doctrine and how he was shaped by his society, I would strongly recommend Dan Vogel's Joseph Smith: The Making of a Prophet. This is sort of an origin-story biography, focusing on JS's life up until 1831, the year after he published the Book of Mormon and formally founded the LDS church. But it's also a close reading of the text of the BOM examining how JS's life experiences and the context of the world around him affected the book he produced. There's also a follow up book, Charisma under Pressure: Joseph Smith, American Prophet, 1831–1839, focusing on the Ohio and Missouri periods of the early church, which came out this year and I haven't read it yet. The first volume is fantastic, though, and it's very close to what you're looking for.

I also have some recs that less directly address your question but still are relevant, and I think they're just good overall. Benjamin Park's Kingdom of Nauvoo focuses on Nauvoo-era Mormonism and does a really good job of putting their doctrine and society in its cultural context and comparing them to broader American society. Spencer McBride's Joseph Smith for President focuses on JS's 1844 third-party presidential campaign and his assassination mid-campaign.

Mormon Settler-Colonialism and Attitudes About Race

You absolutely need to read Virginia Kerns' Sally in Three Worlds: An Indian Captive in the House of Brigham Young. This is an absolutely fantastic and deeply moving book, I think it's one of the best works of Mormon-related history I've read. Kerns does a wonderful job of outlining the painful intimacy of how Sally's life intersected with the Young family, and there's a lot in this book both about how the Mormon settlement of Utah affected native people and about how Mormons settlers saw natives.

I would also recommend Pioneer Prophet, John Turner's biography of Brigham Young. It's a very engaging read and a really good biography of Young, and I think given his role as primary architect of Utah's colonization and the creator of the priesthood ban against black men, it's relevant to the topic.

I had mixed feelings about Joanna Brooks' Mormonism and White Supremacy, I think there are a lot of things she could have gone into more detail about and sometimes her arguments are a bit clumsy. I still think it's worth reading, especially for information about the church during the civil rights movement and the arguments over ending the priesthood ban. (Despite its broad title, the book is mostly focused on Mormon attitudes towards people of African descent, and chronologically on the 20th century rather than earlier. It is a good introduction to that subject, though, and it has a lot of really rich primary sources that are very informative).

I have not read Religion of a Different Color: Race and the Mormon Struggle for Whiteness, but I have heard very good things.

Conflict with the Federal Government

Unfortunately, this is the area where I think I can help you least. I've read a lot touching on conflicts with the federal government, which is in many ways the defining theme of Mormonism in the latter half of the 19th century, but not a lot focusing specifically on it.

I have not read any of these books, and cannot vouch for their quality, but they do seem relevant to the topic and certainly may be worth checking out.

Unpopular Sovereignty: Mormons and the Federal Management of Early Utah Territory

The Mormon Rebellion: America's First Civil War 1857-1858

The Mormon Question: Polygamy and Constitutional Conflict in Nineteenth-Century America

Pioneer Prophet will definitely also address this topic!

Please let me know if you have any other questions or you end up reading and enjoying any of these books! I love talking about this kind of thing!

[invested-in-your-future]

Why did you not begin writing and publishing your rewrite sooner if you'd lost hope for a good story after volume 6 if not earlier?

Short version: Outlining hell. Worldbuilding hell.

Long Version: I actually wrote the first of the shorts as early as V4 ended. I began to seriously work on outlining when Ozpin and Salem's backstory flashback episode dropped. Still, I didn't feel confident enough to write (let alone post) stuff before I ironed out the overall outline. Then came lore-building - world mechanics, making sense of the "magic system" that is Dust, etc. Then, there is world-building - character backstories, where various characters were(or will be) at which point in time, the history of each Kingdom, making sure each Kingdom feels different enough, and so on.

Before I knew years have passed.

I shouldn't have gotten bogged down by world-building but it's the most common pitfall, after all.

Originally I didn't plan on posting it at all and just doing it for myself, but after V9 happened I changed my mind.