#if I am to do something with this it’ll be 3 volumes

[smilesrobotlover]

Popping in to say that I have been appreciating your pirates even if it is from a distance. They are a good vibe.

Thank youuuu fhsjdbdkbsksnsk asks like these make me ugly cry I love when people like my ocs 😭😭😭

[liliavanrougelover]

Would the TWST boys wake up to your alarm?

Summary: Would the TWST boys wake up to your alarm and how would they react to it?

Characters: All NRC students (-Ortho)

Warnings: none(?) (please correct me if I'm wrong)

A/N: I'm working on the Riddle SMAU, but it's taking longer than I expected. Enjoy these silly head cannons while you wait.

Riddle Rosehearts:

Yes and he’s grateful for it. His mother made him wake himself up. She didn’t allow him to get an alarm clock and just expected him to wake up, and that’s not exactly an easy thing to do. While he’s happy, he is used to waking up earlier than you. He probably gets up at 5:30- 6 am, I could never. He would either set up an alarm on his phone or ask if you could set one on your phone. If you set one for him on your phone, he would be grateful, but if you didn’t, he would understand. On the mornings where he wants to sleep in, he would turn off his alarm and let yours wake him up.

Trey Clover:

Yes. He would wake up to your alarm, but he doesn’t. Why? Because he has his own alarm. His alarm is set to the same time as yours because he’s not willing to get up at the crack of dawn. If you sleep through your alarm, he’ll wake you up with breakfast in bed. He’ll make sure he knows what you like for breakfast and he’ll make sure to make it perfect for you. He likes making breakfast for you so much that you may find your alarm has been silenced.

Cater Diamond:

Yes and it upsets him. He groans, flops himself on top of you and tells you to turn it off. If you do, he’ll nuzzle into you and fall back asleep. If you don’t he’ll climb over you and turn it off himself. If you want him to wake up, you’ll have to wake him up yourself. He has made a few magicam posts about your alarm. “Their alarm is the only thing I dislike about them.” -The first post Cater made when you first slept over. He tells you to turn the sound down or you’re never sleeping over again. The ideal volume is none. He’s asking you to delete it.

Ace Trappola:

It takes at least 3 alarms to wake him up and if you have that, he’ll be upset. He doesn’t like waking up and when he wakes up from an alarm? He’s not happy. He’ll reach over you and try to turn your alarm off while sleepily complaining. You can’t even understand what he’s saying because his words are all slurred and quiet. Once he’s fully awake, he’ll make complaints that you can understand.

Deuce Spade:

It takes 2 alarms to wake him and he’d be glad if you had that. He’s slept in more than he likes to admit so he’s very glad that your alarms wake him up. He’ll be a bit confused at first and ask you what that noise is. You’ll have to remind him to get out of bed or he’ll just sit there trying not to fall asleep again. He’s happy your alarms wake him up and he lets you know.

Leona Kingscholar:

It takes 5 alarms to wake him up and he hopes to the sevens you don’t have that much. If you do have that many alarms, he’ll be pissed. He’ll straight up tell you to delete it. He’ll make you delete it. If you don’t then he’ll send you back to your dorm. If you’re really adamant about waking up, he’ll get Ruggie to wake you up.

Ruggie Bucchi:

It helps him wake up. He’s used to waking up early to get him and his grandma breakfast so he naturally wakes up early. If your alarm is natural volume (not too loud, not too quiet) he’s glad that it helps him. If it’s loud, it’ll scare him. He grew up in a pretty cut-throat environment and he’s used to something trying to attack him. Please, turn your alarm down for him. If it helps you wake up, he’ll wake you up himself. Just please turn it down or turn it off. His poor heart can’t take it.

Jack Howl:

He wakes up earlier than you do. The first thing he does when he wakes up is go for a jog so he doesn’t hear your alarm. He doesn’t even know you have one. When he gets back after his jog and you’re still asleep, he’ll wake you up and offer to make you breakfast. It’s just bland cereal and milk though so if that’s not what you like, make your own.

Azul Ashengrotto:

He wakes up early. It’s what a good business person does. He’s very tired when he does though. He’s groggy and he’s trying to keep his eyes open. But, you see, he grew up in the Coral Sea. The Coral Sea is known to be a very dangerous place. Jade has said that it’s very cut-throat, so Azul has gotten attacked (probably) more than once. He hears your alarm and is sent into a full blown panic. He’s fully awake now. He shakes you awake and tells you that something’s attacking. You have to turn off your alarm and explain it to him. He eventually gets used to it. Remember to be patient with him when he wakes you up the moment your alarm goes off.

Jade Leech:

Jade has his own alarm. He wakes up really early but is still groggy. He’s thankful to have your alarm wake him up as well. He would wake up from his alarm and just kinda sit up in bed and stare at the wall, and then your alarm goes off and he finally gets out of bed. He’s especially grateful if you wake up from your alarm so he has someone to talk to while getting ready. (And he totally won’t convince you to wake up Floyd for him /s).

Floyd Leech:

Oh no. You need a new phone. The alarm goes off and Floyd lunges at it and crushes your phone. And when you get mad at him, he blames you. He tells you that you should’ve turned it off before it woke him up (Like he didn’t destroy it the second it went off). He’ll buy you a new phone if you can make him feel better after being woken up like that. Maybe turn off your alarm when you sleep over again.

Kalim Al-Asim:

He doesn’t have an alarm. He has people to wake him up so he never needed an alarm. He’ll wake up when your alarm goes off and thinks someone’s calling you. He’ll just nuzzle into your arm and murmur about someone calling you. When you tell him it’s your alarm, he’s confused. He thought everyone got woken up by other people. Whenever he hears your alarm go off, he hurries to turn it off so he can continue cuddling with you.

Jamil Viper:

He has his own alarm, but sometimes it’s best if he doesn’t wake up to it. His alarm goes off super early, like 5 am early. With how much he does, he’ll sometimes sleep through it. The first time you slept over, he slept through his alarm, but woke up to yours and he assumes someone changed the time his alarm goes off. Even though he claims that he hates sleeping through his alarm, sometimes he’ll turn it off before going to bed so he can wake up with you.

Vil Schoenheit:

He also has an alarm that goes off earlier than yours. He’ll be in his bathroom doing early morning skincare when he hears your alarm go off. He waits a few minutes before returning to see if you woke up. If you didn’t, he’ll wake you up and tell you that you should wake up the moment your alarm goes off. If you did, he��ll ask how you slept and tell you to brush your teeth, take a shower, etc. etc. (If your alarm is super loud, he’ll ask about your mental health).

Rook Hunt:

Rook is the lightest sleeper in the school. It’s his hunting instincts. In fact, if you asked him, he’d say he never truly feels like he’s asleep (He says it more theatrically). So, technically, no. Your alarm doesn’t wake him up, because he wasn’t asleep. He’ll tell you how beautiful your alarm sounds. It could be set to a tornado warning sound and he’ll still think it’s beautiful (just like you). If you don’t wake up from your alarm, he’ll continue to lay in bed with you. You don’t move, he won’t move.

Epel Felmier:

Your alarm wakes him up and he’s grumpy. It doesn’t matter what wakes him up, he’ll be grumpy. He needs coffee. He wakes up and just curls himself around you. If you insist on getting up, he insists you bring him coffee. If you make him get up, he’ll groan and complain, but get up anyway.

Idia Shroud:

He has his own alarm. He calls it “Ortho”. He’s used to Ortho coming and waking him up, so when your alarm goes off, and wakes him up, he’s confused. Was that his phone? Is someone calling him? Oh sevens, he hopes not. When he realizes it’s your alarm, he calms down. He had a mini panic attack when he thought someone was calling him. If you didn’t wake up from it, he just pokes you and if that doesn’t wake you up, he just lays back down.

Malleus Draconia:

Malleus doesn’t know what an alarm is. Your alarm goes off and he shoots up in bed ready to attack whatever broke in (At least it woke him up?). You just have to sleepily explain what an alarm is. Every morning he forgets and still thinks something or someone broke in. Give him a bit of time to let it sink in. He’ll get used to it, eventually.

Lilia Vanrouge:

Lilia has his own alarm. Five to be exact. None of them wake him up. So, why would your alarm be any different? Lilia is a heavy sleeper, especially if he spent the night playing video games. The only way to make sure he gets up is to drag him out of bed. He thanks you for getting him up and offers to make you breakfast as a “thank you”.

Silver Vanrouge:

It doesn’t wake him up. His own alarms don’t wake him and neither does yours. I mean, a loud alarm would wake him, but he’d also rush to grab his sword because he thinks someone’s attacking. You’re gonna have to wake him yourself. Just shake him awake and tell him to wake up. He apologizes for making you wake him up, and it’s best to just accept it. You can try and tell him it isn’t his fault, but he’ll keep insisting until you “forgive” him (there's nothing to forgive).

Sebek Zigvolt:

He wakes up the moment it goes off. He's up and ready to fight. He looks at your phone, sees that it’s an alarm and asks what’s happening. Just like with Malleus, you have to explain what an alarm is. He doesn’t approve. What do you mean you can’t wake up on your own accord? He thought that was just Silver. He offers to wake you up in place of your alarm. The offer is not as nice as it sounds. He essentially yells in your ear to wake up. The alarm is better.

[moonstruckme]

Hey! I have a potentially odd request and I’m not sure if you write stuff like this anyway so if not please just disregard. I am in a strikingly similar situation Sirius with Regulus and for some reason this past week I’ve been feeling guilty as hell. Could you maybe do something where Remus and James are comforting Sirius like it’s okay, it’s not your fault, you had to leave, etc? Or maybe something with Remus James and Sirius comforting reader with the same idea but Sirius being especially emotional and like it’s okay, I get it, you can’t blame yourself etc? Thank you lovely <3 <3

Hi sweetheart! I wasn’t sure exactly which Siri+Reg situation you meant but my first thought was the one where Sirius left Reg alone in their parents’ home, so I hope that’s what you were intending. Thanks sm for requesting! It was a great excuse to listen to regina spektor’s two birds on repeat :’) 

cw: implied past abuse, older sibling guilt (also I am a wee bit drunk editing this so if it’s bad let’s blame it on that)

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words

“I know,” you croak, and you’re speaking quietly enough that Remus gathers you aren’t eager to be overheard, but you’ve made no move to go upstairs and have a truly private conversation. You lie on your back on the couch, one hand covering your eyes and the other holding your phone to your ear. “Yeah, I know how they are. No, it sucks, I just—” 

You press your lips together as the voice on the other end of the phone increases in volume. When it pauses, you hum. “Yeah, I get that. I think it’s a good idea. Just keep to yourself, if you can. It’ll be okay. I’ll try and—no, I know.” You swallow thickly. Remus’ heart heavies. 

He sneaks a look at your boyfriends, both pretending to be busy whilst they eavesdrop. Sirius, just on the other end of the couch, has ceased typing on his laptop and is scrolling aimlessly back and forth on the same page. Meanwhile, James is stirring a pot of water on the stove that’s barely simmering. They look about as tense as Remus feels, Sirius most of all. They all know who you’re talking to. They can gauge the subject. 

“I’m sorry.” Your voice dips, quiet and abashed. “I want to, I just—wait, don’t—” 

You let the phone drop onto the couch, releasing a sigh as you bring your other hand to your face. They hung up. 

There are a few seconds of fraught silence before James pipes up from the kitchen, “Everything alright, angel?” 

You hum in affirmation, but the sound is pitchy and broken. 

Sirius forgoes pretense. He closes his laptop, setting it aside. “What did they want?” 

You take in a deep, shuddering breath. It’s not enough; your voice cracks anyway. “For me to come home,” you say, the last word a sob. 

James switches the stove off, nearly jogging into the living room to be at your side. 

“I’m sorry, dove,” Remus says quietly. “I know it must be hard, but you did the right thing by leaving.” 

“I don’t think so,” you choke out. James makes a pained sound as he sits by your feet, between you and Sirius, and rubs his big hands up and down your calves consolingly. Remus sneaks a glance at Sirius, and his boyfriend has his jaw clamped tight, watching you with heartache in his pale eyes. 

“You did,” James says. “Sweetheart, it’s not your fault.” 

You shake your head, still hiding behind your hands. “I—I can’t—” You nearly lunge for James, who looks all too relieved to take you into his arms. He maneuvers you so you’re in his lap, sitting sideways with your face pressed against his collar. His palm covers the back of your head. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” he hushes you, tone fraught with a compassion so intense it sounds like it hurts. “It’s okay. Just cry it out if you need to.” 

You do. You cry until Remus is sure your head has to be pounding. You don’t try to breathe through it, don’t wipe your nose as it runs. Your tears come hot and fast and painfully quiet, like you learned how to hide them as soon as you learned how to cry. Sirius doesn’t tear his gaze from you as your shoulder’s shake and James’ shirt grows wet. When he swallows thickly, Remus reaches over from the armchair to take his hand. 

Once your tears start to slow, Sirius says, voice uncharacteristically quiet, “The best thing you can do is give them the advice you wish someone had given you.” His free hand twitches in his lap, and Remus realizes he’s keeping still on purpose, not messing with his hair or crossing his arms or doing any of the things that would give away how upset he is. “You can’t go back.” 

“I know,” you mumble into James’ shirt. 

“Do you?” Remus asks gently. “I understand if you want to, right now, but you just…you have to do what’s best for yourself.” 

A powerful sob shakes you, and James’ palm presses into your back with something akin to desperation. “I’m the big sister,” you say. “I’m supposed to be there for them.” 

“You didn’t ask for that.” Sirius’ words are inlaid with a quiet ardency. “It’s not—you can’t blame yourself.” 

You sniffle, pulling your face from James’ front to look at Sirius. There’s a rawness between you that hurts Remus to look at. “I know you know what it’s like,” you tell him, voice wavering on the edge of a whimper, “and I’m sorry. I just—” you take a ragged inhale “—didn’t think it would feel like this.” 

James looks like he is just barely restraining himself from tucking your head back into his shoulder, but he holds still as Sirius pulls his hand from Remus’ to reach for you, pushing a damp piece of hair away from your eye. 

“Baby, you don’t need to be sorry,” he promises. “I get it. It’s hard to feel okay about it at first, but you’ll…it gets easier.” 

You nod, and even though it’s obvious to all of them that you’re only being a good sport, Sirius offers you a small smile. 

“What made it easier?” you ask softly, swiping under your eyes. James coos and bushes your hands away gently, kissing your tears off for you. 

Sirius looks between Remus and James, then shrugs. “I don’t know. Drinking, maybe.” 

“Fuck off.” Remus sticks out a foot, pushing at Sirus’ thigh harshly. “Does she seem like she’s in the mood for jokes?”

But you laugh wetly, and they all grin for hearing it, James mushing a few quick kisses into the side of your head. 

“Gonna turn our sweet girl into an alcoholic,” he says against your skin. 

“Fine.” Sirius rolls his eyes extravagantly. “I don’t know, I guess you guys helped a bit too.” 

Before Sirius can react, James has an arm around his neck, tugging him close. “Oh, you,” James says, and Sirius makes a horrified squawking sound as his boyfriend presses a firm kiss to his temple, then yours. “Such a romantic. We helped a bit, huh?” 

Remus hums. “Ingrate.” 

“The point,” Sirius says, wrestling free of James’ grip, “is that it does get better.” He looks at you, features softening. “It’s not that it’s ever easy. But give it time.” 

“Got it.” You give him a small smile. Still wan, but more genuine than the last. “Thanks.” 

“Do whatever you need to to feel better, sweetheart,” Remus tells you, leaning forward until you meet his eye. “Just stay with us, yeah? Don’t go anywhere.” 

You lean into James’ side, the affection in your gaze all too heavy. “I could never.”

[lxmelle]

Gojo’s letter to Megumi.

Guess I had more thoughts on the subject matter... this is part 3!

Since we don’t know what he said to Nobara, but it is implied it isn’t dissimilar to what he wrote for Megumi.

Like many things related to Gojo, the way he showed his feelings for his students has divided some readers.

I think some people struggled with how it was so light-hearted, treating it as if it was dismissive (as part of Gojo’s farewell). Or what it didn’t carry any weight of emotion (to his students, and/or even as a character).

But I kind of disagree that it depicts anything dismissive… I understand it is somewhat disappointing for some who see him as a very emotional & caring sensei. From the POV of what’s characteristic of Gojo, however, it is extremely fitting. It’s very consistent with Gege’s portrayal & what we have seen of Gojo. This is Gege’s character after all. It’s foolish to fight him over his own creation.

Let me put it this way: it had to be light-hearted.

This was always, always Gojo’s way of putting people at ease. Whether it is appropriate or not, this was his way. And some conclude, is also why, Megumi chuckled like that.

Think even in HI, when Gojo got ambushed within the barriers at Jujutsu Tech, he reassured/told Geto: “I’m good, really.” But this really threw him off. The poor kid was sweating profusely against the anomaly that was Toji with no cursed energy, so even with his six eyes, he couldn’t track him well.

Think about this scene where he hides & masks his actual feelings/instincts telling him that something was wrong.

Think about after having to take the life of his best friend that he had wanted to save for years & whom he felt left behind by, but having to be a sensei whom they could all rely on:

I definitely feel that him being goofy was his way of being considerate to his students. So my view doesn’t change from what I wrote about in pt1 & 2.

As an adult who does care, would do for those important to him.

He wanted to reassure everyone. Out of responsibility, as the strongest, retaining his humanity, you know? Love? This was exactly what he learned through his dynamic duo with Geto. This is what you’d expect of your sensei.

Also: How could anyone say farewell, as if they wanted those they leave behind, to hurt? It speaks volumes about Gojo’s character. Geto “joked” albeit cynically at his end. Nobara tried to leave a message that she was ok with it before she thought she was going to die (even if she didn’t). Choso imparted his gratitude for having been able to be a good brother.

Gojo was trying to protect their feelings and youth until the very end. Gojo never talked about how he felt to anyone else besides Geto; this was the entire issue that Shoko had with both Gojo & Geto. This is just fact; demonstrated by the entire convo between him & Geto in ch236.

To Gojo, no more words needed to be said in the letter. It would make his students cry, it would make them more attached to him, etc. Gojo never wanted that. He was never even the kind to be sentimental about things (besides his 青春 / memories of his blue spring of youth).

He was even this way with himself:

“Yeah - it’ll be fine!”

“I’ll win.”

“I can’t feel my cursed energy… this is checkmate…” (but nevermind me) “my six eyes tell me…. …. Who are you?!?”

You get my drift, right? Gojo was very much the kind of person who just keeps marching on. He doesn’t have lingering attachment to anything, including himself, besides his one and only complex <- we know what that is.

But it DOES NOT MEAN HE DID NOT CARE. He just recognised that they needed to let go of him to carry on living. It’s rather selfless and loving if you ask me.

The letter was written as if to say, with a cheerful tone:

It’s okay to let me go.

Because, I am okay to go too.

めんご!

[midnightechoes]

So this week is going to go down as maybe the most sapphic week in animation history. It’s going to have a great case, there are so many sapphic shows or shows with prominent sapphic couples airing this week.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Here’s a quick rundown:

Yuri Is My Job!

Premiering on Crunchyroll on April 6th.

Yuri is My Job! is based on a yuri manga of the same name. It follows high schooler Hime, who cares deeply about her image as sweet and helpful, even though she’s actually selfish. She accidentally injures the manager of a cafe, and agrees to work there to make up for it. But this is no ordinary cafe, it’s like a cafe dinner theater where all the waitresses play characters from a fictional high school and act out skits for the patrons. Hime’s character is supposed to be in love with one of the other waitresses’ character, but she starts actually falling for the girl. Only problem is, behind the scenes the other waitress seems to hate her.

Yeah, that sounds kind of bonkers! I can already see the story now, Hime starting out playing a role, and eventually having to legitimately earn the love of Mitsuki.

Birdie Wing: Golf Girls’ Story

Season 2 premiering on Crunchyroll on Friday, April 7th

Ah Birdie Wing. If you saw season one, you know just how delightful wacky this show is. It follows the stories of Eve, a golfer that plays in illegal underground golf matches for the mob, and Aoi, a golf prodigy and the new sensation of the golf world. Their lives crash into each other and the chemistry is overwhelming and immediate.

Technically Eve and Aoi aren’t canon as of the end of s1, but it’s hard to imagine that the show isn’t heading in that direction. It makes no effort to hide the fact that these two are into each other.

I’m so excited to see what season 2 has in store for these two. Birdie Wing is just a delightfully weird little show.

Princess Principal: Crown Handler Chapter 3

Premieres in theaters in Japan on Friday, April 7th

Alright, so this won’t be useful to a lot of people reading this, as this is only premiering in Japan this weekend. But I wanted to mention it because (a) it’ll come over to the US sometime this year, and (b) Princess Principal is awesome and I want to promote it when I can.

Princess Principal was a 12 episode series that aired in 2017, and Crown Handler is a six-part sequel OVA series.

In a nutshell, Princess Principal is a steampunk spy thriller set in an alternate universe European kingdom that has been divided by a wall, Berlin-style. It follows a team of spies, masquerading as high school girls, as they try to prevent the two sides from going to war.

I know, “why is this on a list of gay shit?” Well, because it is. Two of the main characters, Ange and Princess Charlotte, are big-time into each other and while the original series does the anime thing of “we’re only allowed to go so far with this”, the OG series has a lot of intimate scenes between the two and does end *SPOILERS* with the two of them sitting on the beach together while holding hands.

And perhaps Crown Handler, being made years later, can finally take their relationship farther.

RWBY Volume 9

Volume 9 episode 8 airing on Crunchyroll on Saturday, April 8th

RWBY has been ongoing, and the current volume has been airing since February, but there’ll be another episode this Saturday. Right now RWBY is in the middle of dealing with a lot of trauma, BUT, the bees are canon and dating so every episode of RWBY is now officially gay. So says me.

The Owl House: Watching and Dreaming

 Series finale airing on the Disney Channel on Saturday, April 8th

I’M NOT READY TO LOSE THIS SHOW! 😭

*ahem* The third and final season 3 special airs on Saturday, and promises to be mega emotional and super gay.

I’m grateful that this show had a chance to finish its story, something a lot of sapphic media doesn’t get to do. But I am still pissed about it getting cancelled in the first place simply because it didn’t fit their “brand” (read: this show is too gay for Disney).

But I just know that Dana and her team put together a sensational finale.

Mobile Suit Gundam: the Witch From Mercury

Season 2 premiering on Crunchyroll on Sunday, April 9th.

Affectionately called G-Witch, season 1 of this show was a revelation in the fall. It follows the story of Suletta Mercury, precious cinnamon roll and the most talented mobile suit pilot around, and Miorine Rembran, daughter of the president of the Benerit Group, a mega-corporation that has massive political power.

The show revolves around a school that’s mostly full of the children of powerful people. And then there’s Suletta, a nobody that just wants to be a normal girl and have a normal school life but through a series of events ends up in a mobile suit duel that she easily wins, earning her the title of Holder, which makes her Miroine’s groom.

At first, the two treat the arrangement as a business arrangement, both seeing practical value in this arranged engagement. But it’s obvious that Miorine is actually pretty into Suletta from the start, and we see Suletta slowly falling for Miorine too.

G-Witch is incredible. Part awesome mecha fights, part political intrigue, part romance between two useless girls who’d rather die that admit their actual feelings.

I am SO EXCITED for season 2!

LGBTQ media hasn’t had it great as of late, with a ton of frustrating cancellations and it almost feeling like Hollywood is going backwards in terms of its commitment to giving us space to tell our stories.

But animation, both in the US and in Japan, seems to be making great strides, being our light in the dark.

All five of these shows are airing episodes this week, and Crown Handler will be in theaters this week and on streaming/blu-ray later this year. RWBY has been airing for weeks and its been the gayest volume yet. the Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady just finished airing and was wonderfully sapphic. I’m In Love With the Villainess is scheduled to air sometimes this year. And just maybe we might get Arcane season 2 before the end of the year.

I’m excited for how sapphic and yuri animation is progressing, I hope it keeps going forward.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

ALRIGHTY’S I KNOW ITS BEEN A HOT SEC I’VE BEEN GONE CAMPING AMONGST THE TREES AND THEN OPENED COMMISSIONS BUT NOW IT IS FINALLY TIME TO SIT DOWN FOR ANOTHER KNOX REACTS. WHATS UP ON THE MENU TONIGHT?

MONKIE KID SEASON 5 EPISODE 3

(spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen it)

Yeah alright, lets see what we got here title be TEMPLE OF THE GODDESS. Sounds cool sounds neat, is this gonna be Nuwa’s first appearance then? or like… i assumed she’d show up later ngl if at all, sets have a habit of adding characters that never show up sometimes— AHEM

.

ACTUALLY THIS FEELS A BIT SURREAL LIKE RIGHT THERE’S MONKIE KID EPS OUT THAT’S CRAZY HELPGLKMAF;LKSDF

Let’s see how I do after two weeks of semi-fresh slightly smokey tree air—

theme song my beloved, oh yes okay the three weeks did something i’m almost used to the animation difference i think it’s settled we’re good i can react primarily to the story now WHEEZELKGJASL;KDF

OHH OHH OKAY IT MIGHT JUST BE THE TWO WEEKS BUT SANDY SOUNDS A LOT MORE SANDY NOW, hang on lemme pull up ep 2 i’m curious

ah hm and nope nvm relistened again, its like… y’know if you’ve ever gone on like a sound music app thingie like garage band or something and you up the tenor and get rid of some of the base, Sandy’s voice sounds kinda off that way, he’s more nasally and not as rumbly? HEY I’M ABLE TO ARTICULATE NOW LETS GOOOOOO

Anyway tho back to react lesgolesgolesgo

Mk, my lad, you are indeed moving from one apocalypse to the next but if it’s all leading up to destiny then i’m sure it’ll be like PSYCH IT’S BEEN THIS ONE GUY PULLING THE STRINGS ALL ALONG— or something like that that’d be funny

Hm, I wonder if the five coloured stones have a name like the Samadhi fire does.

W O O F (ouch) yeah some of the movements still make me feel like i’m sitting in front of my grandparents TV watching treehouse or something :[ It’s kinda like… it’s not bad its just very much used for a specific type of show usually and monkie kid isn’t that type of show to me so it’s claaaashing so bad AHA I AM ABLE TO ARTICULATE! Whaddayaknow the three week break did wonders for me actually we’re loving this YEAAAAAA

Wukong rubbing his head where the circlet is while he talks is MMHM <3 Wowza!!

HM! Tang sounds muffled! Once again i gotta go back and reply to understand what’s being said THIS IS TRAGIC THIS IS A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR ME USUALLY MONKIE KID IS SO CRYSTAL CLEAR I HEAR WHAT’S BEING SAID RIGHT OFF THE BAT (only mis-hearing once in a blue moon) I do like how Pigsy is shaped in this frame <3

Sniffs. I was gonna say they are indeed reusing the samadhi rings plot line again of like, wow we gotta find this thing! but hey this time they don’t have a map! It’s different [winks at camera] LOL no tho fr it’s kinda interesting to see them using the same theme in different fonts. Like the goal is different, Samadhi fire was beat the lady bone demon and the stones is seal he heavens but it is a very similar plot to have so close to the other season. I mean there was a 1 season break in-between tho so PFF that’s probably good enough MOVING ON

Okay hmhm, Pigsy’s “what about the thing where” is super like muffled to me? And quiet, like they turned down the volume on his audio and then cranked it up immediately at the “WE DON’T KNOW WHERE THESE STONES ARE.” on second listen now that i know what’s gonna be said it’s not so bad, but it also just seems very kinda slurred together almost?? It feels like it was done in two separate takes and pasted together almost. I had to pause and be like huh!!! weird!! usually there’s a bit of a pause between Pigsy’s quiet and then loud bit to my memory, he’s done this kind of thing before but the audio volume is just so wildly different—might just be my version of the show tho!

Oof yeah, the music and audio of mk talking after it are wildly different volumes, and these are my good headphones WOUGH THIS IS BRUTAL

still chilling in the good vibes tho, fresh air does a load of good

Actually, fantastic plan mk, ask someone who knows, mind blowing for these guys, when have they ever— //j/jj

Is that how you say her name? NuWAH? I do it more of like a… NAHwah? maybe? ??? NeWAH HGLKJSDF

Mk and Mei getting hyped bless <3333

….tang bro you guys have walked through lava so many times by now I don’t see why you’re loosing your mind— GHL;AKSDJFSADF

they’ve cracked the code, if you want to distract Tang from doom spiraling just ask him to info dump and you’re good!! Still whatever with the visuals of that gag ngl but i do appreciate the verbal comedy

Okay, who do those highly stylish eyebrows belong too? Actually hello?? this might be my favourite frame in the show so far it looks so nice?? I LIKE A FRAME IN SEASON 5 LESGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“There’s always a temple”

“Mhm, yeah, mhm”

Yeah its like all the voices lost their bass, their growl, their RUMBLE. Nah the Pigsy Mei moment was cute tho bless

Tang. You have. Been around the Samadhi fire. Yeah okay trauma fire, without getting literal ab—TANG YOU LITERALLY SAMADHI FIRE??? THAT’S LITERAL FIRE PLS HGLK;SFJA;OWIEFM AND FAR MORE DANGEROUS THAN REGULAR FIRE??? MY GOOD SIR??? Priorities—

AHAHAHA Darn right, I know Ashe likes their “LEGOOOO”’s, fantastic that is becoming part of my speech un-ironically thanks to them HGLASJDF You know what yeah this feels like Ashe’s writing “Sounds like Tang’s on board!” yeah hGLK;SJDFSD

SANDY’S VOICE ALMOST SOUNDED RIGHT THERE

GODS WE’RE SO CLOSE [clenches fist]

That little transition noise had a good base—

Wow speediy AHAHAHAHAHA STAIRS

YESSSSSSSSS

Okay, Okay mk’s little NNOOOooooooooo…. was pretty funny hGL;KJSFD;LJSADF Bro just yeah, nods nods that’s how stairs feel fr :pensive_emoji:

The music kinda drowns out what Sandy says for a second RAAAAA

ALPINE SANDYGNL;DKFMSADF

nice

Why do you need a hook the stairs are right there—

Oh pls make Tang climb don’t carry him pls make him climb plsplsplsplsplsplspls PLEASE MAKE HIM AND HIS WEAK ANKLES CLIMB I’M BEGGING YOU—

Oh

Oh yeah okay good call actually I take it back teleportation is actually a good ideaHGKL;ASJDFSDF

AS FUNNY AS TANG CLIMBING WOULD BE

.

I feel like tang’s old man back would snap under mei—

DID HE JUST UYEET THATLGKMD;LFKSD

oh he can slip it back

CHEATINGLKSDMFASLD;MF

Cant’ use magic or tracking

….. AND THEN USES HIS CLOUD GLKMDFA;OMFIWEF

CHOKINGL;KSDFMASDF

ONLY TAKES MK

I’m telling ya man Sun Wukong’s one and only priority is that kid

…. is mk and wukong ditching the rest of the crew gonna be a theme this season— HGLKJASD;FKASD

TANG N O

TANG

NO

LEAVE THE PIG MAN ALOOOOOONE

DARN RIGHT YOU AIN’T CARRYING HIM TANG HE’S HALF YOUR SIZE— (not to say that I don’t believe Pigsy is stronk and buff ask heck but STILL)

The way Wukong keeps touching the circlet is a neat detail ngl I’m STILL salty about how it went on but its FIINNEEEEE

MK

W H A T

BROTHER HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU CHEATED AT STUFF, TAKE ME BACK TO THE SKELETON KEY WHEN HE BYPASSED LEVELS IN VIDEO GAMES AND STOLE THINGS AND WENT ON A WILD CRAZY RUN WITH MEI?? I mean you could say character development BUT PLS WDYMMMMMMMM

Okay “LOOPHOLES BABY” is absolutely delightful and I will be quoting that for the rest of my life for no reason i just think he’s delightful

they almost made him squishy good effort wild brain ;-;7 i salute you

Ashe, I love your sense of humour—

“THIS PROVES NOTHING—“

Oh so the eyebrows are a BIRD ;-; ok i was like owaa new design? cool character? no :pensive_emoji: its a bird :pensive_emoji: that’s okay i’m sure the bird is lovely too ;-; TBF the bird probably would ave appeared anyways

Why is the bird growling HLGKJA;WOEFJSDF

Ooo fire blasts!

Isn’t shielding the fire using magic—?

….bro

CRACKS KNUCKLES

COOL YEAH IMPLICATIONS SINCE THAT WASN’T MAGIC EVEN IF IT HAD THE MAGIC SOUND EFFECT ITS JUST SWK USING HIS BODY TO SHEILD MK AND NOTHING ELSE YEAH I’M NORMAL AND FINE DON’T TOUCH ME

oooooo touchy wall, get pulled in, MK YOU’RE HOOOMEE <3 probably, I don’t know I assume Nuwa would be like wassup brrooo <333 since she’s the one who made him maybe its unclear still but we’ll worry about that when we get to it

Tilting my head. eh, no particular feelings over mk mimicking wukong ngl shrugs

Oooo Nuwa’s place looking a little worse for wear

Bro she’s legit a snake—

Just casually smashing things

Ooo OI TILTED ANGLE COUNTER GOING UP

Sniffs.

She made monkeys! :D Oh yeah and humans ig—

Oh come on don’t show me flying bark PLEAAASE I’M BEGGING YOU ON MY KNEES EVEN IF ITS TRACED DON’T SHOW IT TO MEEEEEE

Bro having flashes once again and going iTS NOTHIINNN DW ABOUT IIIIT

Okay big ol prophecy painting with the face scratched out that’s silly

HELPGKLMASFSAD

CLASSIC FINAL BOSS AESTHETIC HGL;KSDFMASDF

…..

Way to change the topic wukong

OH i kinda almost like how mk looks in that frame the “answers ain’t in this room” one its so close ;-;

Ig they both know who its supposed to be :T

Ahem okay so this is gonna be a prophesy destiny season alrighty cool cool cool

Sniffs. I feel like the coming down in a beam of light to people reaching up to him is probably misleading given the whole harbinger of chaos thing so maybe Mk’s like, how’s you say this… bam bam boom whack wowza rip the world ig :pensive_emoji:

WHO KNOWS

ANYWAY

Oh mk says “fair point” when monkey king says the final boss thing that’s funny OUGH I WISH I COULD HEAR AND PROCESS THIS IS KILLING ME A BIT

aw lets focus up ;-; i like him

STOMPY STOMPY

Bro those are traps—

MONKEY KINGS FACE GLKASMFSD

yeah

Mk’s steamrolling huh

BBQ’d 2.0

Indiana Jones’ing it MONKEY KING TAKING THE BR

SHUT UP HE LOOKS LIKE BURNT MARSHMALLOW WUKONG EVERYBODY SHUT UP TAHT’S MY DESIGN THAT’S MY BOY

bet you didn’t expect me to fixate on bbq’d wukong huh—

He’s just

on his cloud

MANYMANY DADS

HE SAID IT

HELPGLKMASFASDF

I’m hoping its dads and i’m not mishearing deaths hG;LKJSADF

MONKEY KING WITH STUFF STICKING OUT OF HIMGLMFLKSDF

Lava or axe’s nice

NOOO MK’S MCGUFFIN;SLDKFMA;OEFWN;AWENF;OAWG;KMFLASDMFS MCGUFFINS I’M CRYINGLKSDFMASDFS I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE ASHE YOU’RE FUNNY OKAYGLKMSFSD

Aw that’s cute

“three times actually” smug look at the camera

“first time was just the city don’t get cocky”

I’m liking a lot of the dialogue in this ep a lot more than the first two ngl feels more monkie kid but HEY ITS ASHE SO THAT MAKES SENSEG;LKSMDFSD

I love Wukong telling Mk this ngl

“look i don’t know how many times you gotta learn this—“

A lot monkey king

a lot more times— HGL;KASJDF

Seems like Mk’s getting worn down by the whole destiny thing and its probably gonna end up being something he doesn’t like or something

Monkey king: USE YOUR ABLITY TO MAKE CHOICES

Mk: :(

oUGH

OUGH

NAILING IT

ON MY HANDS AND KNEES THANK YOU ASHE FOR WRITING THE CHARACTERS I LOVE, THAT WAS PLAYING DUMB TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD DONE WELL WAILS

MAAAN

Sniffs okay okay

oooo STARS

FANCY

“I can sense it”

“What fr???”

that’s funny and also ominous

a lot of “i can feel it”’s going around here hLKG;JASDF

Bro fr i thought it’d be another map—

They’re goofy

Ohhhh OHH I get it, the bird is the

stone

yeah

that makes sense

stone bird

so all the stones are those creatures at the start

and merged together they’re that giant chimera freaky creature plus whatever snake guy lego set dude merged together

.

maybe

so stones together in fact busts stuff up fr?

AYO? WHY’S THE BIRD DOING A LADY BONE DEMON THING

OH THEY HOVERING NOW

Hi Nuwa

I’m sorry i never got to see flying bark animate you ;-;

OKAAAY I gotta process all that

So it’s definitely gonna be like a keep the universe from getting destroyed thing, but also probably a fake out of he’s meant to destroy it or something because PSYCH YOU THOGUHT WE WERE GONNA BE STRAIGHTFORWARD—or something like that final answer (its not my final answer i’ll come up with something better later maybe)

The phoenix sounds like somebody trying to sound Chinese

….

jurys still out on whether they succeeded or not

coughs

Mk sacrifice his existence?

Okay i do like the um… difference in responses from mk and wukong “—to save the world?” and Mk’s like D: and wukong’s like >:[ more like. feels like he’s going AHA YEHA NOT GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN BRO— conviction nuh-uh kinda vibe maybe

SIGHS

mEI STILL SOUNDS OFF TO ME I DON’T WANT HER TOO BUT RAAAAAAAAA Save me guys take me back to when i wouldn’t notice this ;-; make me into one of those people who everyone sounds the same to or something (pls don’t i like being able to decipher voices) MAAAN good voice acting still tho, good yell, well done

Circlet used to keep monkey king down so he can’t save mk real?

Dang they really spoiling the end of the season here—well if it actually goes like this, mk never got engulfed in fire like the lady bone demon claimed he would so this might not even happen lol

“Your hearts have been measured”

Swk: OKAY FIGHT TIME BECAUSE AIN’T NO WAY I PASSED THAT—

Swk do you need to sit down and talk about it buddy? :( ?

And poof gone==oh those are pretty big

HA

Trial after all

True true mentor stuff still stands

hmhm no thoughts!

WHY IS HIS MONKEY FORM ALL EVIL SMILEY

PIGSY YOU DID NOT CARRY HIM

PIGSY

P I G S Y

Mk: [another crisis]

Okay no fr respectfully someone needs to throw tang down the stairs GET OFF MY MAAAAN

Swk felt very silly goofy in this episode

It does kinda feel like he’s helping Mk avoid what he doesn’t want to think about now, which, is interesting!

DID TANG JUST TELL DADSY TO MUSH

TANG W H Y

I GET ITS FOR THE RUNNING GAG BUT W H YYYYYYY

This is p interesting tho, this episode definitely felt more like monkie kid to me, it’s still just MAN is it missing the heart and soul flying bark brought and I’m still having a lot of trouble processing the audio to an almost ridiculous degree of the amount of times i have to go back and replay and not to enjoy a line but to actually hear it regardless of how much i have my sound turned up so there’s still some OOF stuff but all in all the gags on this one were good and my three weeks away have helped me put enough distance between the animation and me that i can actually kinda watch it now!! LEGOOOO

Next reaction ep hopefully coming sometime this week so until then KNOX OUT BABYYYYY

[1-800-whatwouldbillydo]

 Dissecting Character Scenes: Billy Hargrove

*I say that like he’s not the only character I analyze lmfao- anyway* 

His Hand Movements

The above movement is what I do when: 

I’m nervous. For one, it helps me calm down. Since anxiety is essentially unwanted energy, it helps deal with me being an overcharged energizer bunny by using that energy in a non-harmful way. 

I get too in my head, and I need to ground myself.

I’m thinking.

I’m about to talk to someone or do something. When you overthink, or when you have a lot on your mind, even talking to people is something you feel like you need some preparation for. Especially when you’re in a completely different environment, and you have to start over. 

I need to remember something, like the “script”. What am I going to say to Person A? What are they going to do? How are they going to respond? How should I respond? These scripts are like mental teleprompters. I play numerous scenarios in my head, and I prepare a bunch of responses to them, whether it’s physical or verbal. It’s an internal peptalk. Sometimes you cancel out the responses that you don’t think will apply, and you zero in on what you’re going with. Needless to say, it takes some time to always do this, which you aren’t always offered. 

When you live with an unpredictable abuser, you’re walking on eggshells. It can require you to apply extreme control over your tone, your volume, your facial expression, and your words. They nitpick at everything you say, so you learn to think before you talk. You have to take a step back somehow, collect yourself, and keep a level head, which is hard in an environment like that. 

The impressions other people have of you can get you in trouble with your abuser. Whether you’re late for a class or you don’t turn in an assignment, the last thing you want is for someone to call your abuser. 

They count on you to mess up somehow, so they have a “justification” to punish you. If you talk back or raise your voice, they can see this as a green light, because they’re making you react. And your reaction, no matter what, will probably piss them off. 

So, thinking things through, including your tone of voice and what comes out of your mouth, are things you tend to pick up in that sort of environment. 

Scene #2

How am I going to handle this? 

That’s what I find myself asking when I find myself in an unknown situation where I need to measure my response. The unknown tends to be borderline suspicious. Sure, living with someone like Neil can make you paranoid, but you’ve got some built in red flags in your court. You pick up things that others may not. To you, it’ll probably be common sense. In this situation, it IS common sense for Billy to be suspicious of Steve. 

Flying off the handle immediately isn’t Billy’s style. It takes a considerable amount of control to even talk to Steve. Neil had shaken him up, and then Billy dealt with Karen. Now he’s having to deal with Steve lying to him about where Max is. But he uses force as a last resort. So much happened to him before this particular scene, that he was most likely a bundle of emotions and anxiety by the time he drove up to the Byers’ house. 

While the audience knew what was going on, Billy didn’t. The fact that he actually tried to talk to Steve shows that he didn’t want for there to be a fight. He just wanted to get Max home. 

“I don’t understand” is quite literally his theme all throughout his life. The entire time he was in Hawkins, he did not understand what was going on. 

@ickypuppi3​ pointed out that he fidgets so much with his fingers, like that scene with Max in the car at school when he’s holding his cigarette. The anxiety really comes through when he’s about to do something.

Scene #3 

Like in this scene, where he’s prepping to face Neil, who’s banging on his door, signaling that he’s in a hotheaded mood. How Neil’s “temperature” is will indicate what Billy’s reaction will be. Here, he has to face Neil’s heat with as much of a cool head as he can. He also knows that no matter what he does, Neil will blow a gasket. 

GIF credit to @suledins

[taekooktimeline]

Hey everyone 👋🏽

Wasn’t the “Dream” premier something? I’m still feeling quite emotional 😭

I’m working on drafting quite an extensive piece on it. I’m honestly nervous to share it because this was such a significant moment, and I want to make sure I’ve conveyed everything as best as I can. I’m hoping to get it up in the next few days, but that depends on my OCD and my schedule so please bear with me 🙏🏽

In the meantime, I wrote the below on my IG page, but I’ll leave it here too. Some of the below wordage is in my draft, and it’ll go into the event post itself, but I won’t apologize for repeating anything because it needs to be said🩷

There is sooo much to unpack, from the clothes they thoughtfully chose to wear to their first premier together (not BTS / work related), to their body language…I’m just so incredibly proud of these two.

Taehyung wore a jacket by Juntae Kim, a gender fluid clothing brand. His shirt, a rare find on Etsy, is an Oscar Wilde and Morrisey print. Oscar paved the way for gay rights, and was imprisoned for two years for his involvement with Alfred Douglas. Morrisey coined the term “human sexual” to describe himself.

Jk’s jacket is also queer coded. The sleeve is an excerpt from “Anonymous Diary of a New York Youth, Vol. 3” which was written by Taylor Mead, a columnist for the first gay newspaper in NYC. The front pocket of the jacket contains significant biblical scripture. “For all sinned, and come short of the glory of God ~All we like sheep have gone astray ~Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

NOTHING IS COINCIDENCE WITH TAEKOOK! They’re smart. They know EXACTLY what they’re doing. Both outfits are queer coded and have deep meaning. And for their first unofficial event together to wear such meaningful clothes is loud in itself.

Not only were their outfits meaningful, their body language and expressions were too.

They’re familiar with red carpets in their line of work, but Jk was extra, adorably shy. Because this was a STATEMENT!

They didn’t walk with other members (who didn’t attend), they didn’t walk with Wooga. They walked TOGETHER.

This was about THEM.

And Tae made sure to be Jk’s safe space, as he always has been and always will be. He took his wrist when Jk hesitated before the photo wall. The way Jk looked at Tae when he turned back to take his wrist? They both knew when they walked onto the carpet exactly what that meant. How impactful it would be, the next step to normalizing their relationship. Tae guided Jk, and Jk’s expression lighting up when Tae turned speaks, trusting him, VOLUMES. They prioritize each other and they always will.

And once again, Jk showed how close he is with Wooga when he called SJ “Seo-Joonie Hyung”

They will ALWAYS choose each other. They will ALWAYS be close. No one on SM will ever change that.

They are so brave and strong. I’m in complete awe.

Taekook will change the world. I am so sure of it 🙏🏽

TAEKOOK FOREVER💜💚

Stay tuned for the post💜I hope I do it justice and I will do my very best🙏🏽

[hapan-in-exile]

Volume 3- Post #11: Well, Hell's Bells [M]

Another installment in this ongoing serialized fanfic

Genre: Mandalorian x Fem! Reader

Total word count: 5.6K (of 45K total in Volume 3)

Rating: Explicit - smut, language, MINORS DNI 18+ *NSFW*

_____________________________________

XI. “Oh! And I bought a rice cooker,” Nito adds triumphantly, leaning into the holo-transmitter with a wide grin. In his lap, the kid’s ears are just visible, perking up at the sound of your voice.

“Wait! You can cook?!”

“Of course, I can cook. I’m an orphan. We’re basically the most resilient beings in the galaxy.” 

That’s right. Mando, Nito, the Child…together, you were a family of orphans. Was it simply a random twist of fate? Or the cosmic force of the universe pulling you all together?

It’s not the first time this thought has occurred to you, but now it feels oddly significant.

The Mandalorian had his Covert, Nito had his gang of boosters back on Corellia, and there were still a few medics from the Corps that probably would take you in. If you could track them down.

But the Child? He truly needed a family. He was the cosmic force pulling you together.

Because you all recognized what a transformative gift it was to be loved and cared for—to have someone committed to your safety and well-being. 

Your gaze shifts toward the cockpit, catching sight of the Mandalorian, busy entering the navigation coordinates.

The transformative power of love, huh? Well, maybe there’d be more of that to go around. 

Turning your attention back to the holo-transmitter, you cock an eyebrow in mock outrage. “Then why am I always the one making dinner?”

“My bowel movements have been easier since you took over meal planning. Also, less scurvy.”

“Funny how I didn’t hear a single ‘thank you’ anywhere in there.”

Nito clasps his hands over his heart in a sign of devotion, “Thank you for my healthy poop, Doctor Thulindahra.” Then, he gasps excitedly. “That’s right! What’s your new name?”

“Kasya Hawat,” you recite, having repeated it about a thousand times in your head. “It’s pronounced Kaas-ee-yah…I think.” At the bottom of the screen, you see the kid’s ears turn upward. “Hey, how are his ears doing?” 

“I checked them this morning. No gunk.”

“Phew! Don’t forget to clean them while I’m gone, ok?”

Nito’s brow furrows. “Are you worried about remembering you have a different name now?”

Fuck, will no one in this family let you to artfully change the subject?

“Uh, yeah. I am, actually,” you admit, continuing to towel off your wet hair. Three showers in one day might be a personal record. “It’ll be really terrifying if someone yells Kasya at me and I don’t turn around.”

“I bet after a few days of everyone saying it…” Nito shrugs helplessly.

“Let’s hope so,” you sigh. Catching yourself frowning, you try to rearrange your face to look more hopeful. “Tell me. What’s the first thing you made with your new rice cooker?”

“Fish porridge,” he says proudly.

“Nice! And were there any vegetables involved in the making of this meal?”

“Knew I forgot something,” Nito snaps his fingers with a sly wink.

“Hey, genius! Eat a plant every once in a while if you don’t want a vitamin deficiency.”

“Okay, Doc.”

“Pffft. If I were a good doctor, you’d have a better grasp of micronutrients.” 

“Wait, why don’t you just go by 'Doc'? That’d be easy to remember.”

You pause thoughtfully. “I’m not saying it’s a bad idea, but a former doctor working with the cleaning crew might raise a few eyebrows.”

Not that falling on hard times isn’t a universal affliction. Plenty of well-educated professionals were forced to take whatever work they could get—especially in the aftermath of a galactic civil war. But it’s the kind of backstory that makes a person stand out. Coworkers would inevitably come to you asking, ‘Please, let me show you,’ with odd requests for this or that ailment. 

And Kasya Hawat had not received any medical training. Hell, she hadn’t existed since the age of five. You’d need to be careful about appearing too knowledgeable or helpful when someone got injured.  

“Better figure out your meal planning soon. Otherwise, Mando will have you eating MREs while I’m gone.”

“Ugh,” Nito stuck out his blue tongue. “I try not to think too much about what life was like before we picked you up. So bleak!” He moans, “Now you’re making us relive it.”

“First of all, this whole scheme was your idea, kiddo. Second,” you twist in your seat to watch the Mandalorian make his way in from the cockpit, “Mando’s going to be super sweet to you guys because he’s very keen to stay on my good side.”

Nito scoffs, and then a dark look crosses his face. “I know we planned all this out…but it feels kinda scary now that you’re really gonna do it.”

“I’ll be fine,” you assure him. “And we’ll go over everything together before I leave.”

“Okay,” he nods, not quite convinced.

“Okay,” you repeat gently. “Well, we should be back before nightfall.” Then you add in a stern voice, teasing him, “Dinner better be hot when we get there.”

Nito gives you a performative salute before ending the transmission.

***********

“The kids, ok?” Mando asks while pulling out the hem of his cloak from under the Beskar chest plate. 

His helmet takes in a quick sweep of the room.

It’s a small transport shuttle, with most of the hold serving as the ship’s living quarters. Apart from the comms station, there's a bed, a lounge area, and a small kitchenette. 

“Yeah,” you laugh, delighting in his paternalistic fealty. “They’re doing good.”

Then, taking pity on him, you nod toward the opposite side of the room. For some unfathomable reason, the sleek design aesthetic concealed all the door frames. “Bathroom’s in that corner over there.”

You get up to reach for his cloak, draping it tidily over the back of a nearby armchair. When you sense him standing behind you, the breath catches your throat. 

It's his turn to use the shower. Is he planning to undress out here, right in front of you? What did that mean? 

Keep it together, Thuli! You have no idea how the next eight hours will unfold, so try not to get ahead of yourself. There’s no way to avoid the awkwardness of building intimacy with someone. Still, it’s not like you to be shy about it, either.    

You love to come out of the gate swinging…?

“So,” you sigh softly, looking at him over your shoulder. “Am I allowed to walk around in my underwear now?”

Packing your robe for a day’s long journey seemed a bit excessive at the time—thank the gods, that’s never stopped you before.

Sure, you could change back into the clothes you wore for the fake identification photos. But why make more work for him? Mando will thank you for saving him the trouble of taking them off again. 

No. That’s not fair. Just because you’re ready doesn’t mean—  

“When have you ever waited for my permission to do exactly as you please?” he says in that enticingly gruff voice, brushing past you. 

Ooof, maintaining your composure will be hard if he insists on putting up the hardened Mandalorian act. An excited shiver is already rippling over your skin. And you’re sure the thin robe did very little to hide your pinched nipples.  

Blessed Mother, you need to slow down and stop jumping to conclusions. Just because he bought that mask doesn’t mean you can pressure him with expectations.

Remember, this was all new for him. Well, not the sex part. But the sex without clothes on part? Definitely, the sex with someone he cares about part. 

And who’s to say you would jump straight to the main event—

“Is there any hot water left?”

Oblivious to your internal struggles, he crouches down to remove the leather greaves from his shins.

Right. Effortlessly captivating. You are effortlessly captivating.

“You’re pretty eager to get in that fresher for someone who swore we didn’t need one.”

Mando places his greaves and weaponry on a table nestled against the armchair. “I never said I didn’t want a shower. I questioned whether it needed to have eight jets and a tub.”

With all the close calls in Daiyu City, you both agreed it would be wise to switch shuttles for the return journey back to the Crest. And since you had some money left over after bargaining down Gwellis, you’d coerced the bounty hunter into an upgrade.

“I think you’re going to like those jets. One in particular is quite…vigorous.”

Mando huffs, shaking his head when you wiggle your eyebrows. Gripping the tips of his fingers, he carefully removes each glove along with the gauntlets, setting them down beside his greaves. 

“You going to watch me undress?” he asks wryly.

Mmm-hmm.

“If you let me,” you reply with more confidence than you really feel. In fact, you’re oddly nervous navigating this tension between eagerness and restraint. Unsure of how to show both. 

You hold your breath in anticipation, but he doesn’t ask you to look away. 

“Here,” you extend a hand out to him. “I’ll help…”

When the Mandalorian nods, you hop onto the square back of the chair and reach for his arm. Doing your best not to get distracted by his massive presence looming over you, you place his forearm across your lap so you can work with both hands to release the steel hinges. 

Fortunately, your fingers remain nimble despite the intensity of his fixed attention. The gods only knew what he was thinking. 

After removing both vambraces, you pause. You could take off the thigh plates next, before—

Yes. Well. There were the thigh plates and pauldrons.

Your movements are clumsy, unlatching the heavy plates while balancing atop the flat but narrow back of the chair. You hear him snickering when you wobble precariously, stretching your hands out for the pauldrons. He decides to remove them himself, handing you each one in turn to stack neatly on the table. 

You had wanted to reach down for his belt—for him to let you this time—but he unbuckles it without hesitation and pulls it from his waist without a word. 

Then, unexpectedly, he leans forward to grip the back of the chair, his bare hands settling on either side of your hips, shoulders framing you. If you sat up straighter and lifted your chin, you’d be kissing—if he wasn’t wearing the helmet, that is. 

Your heartbeat starts to echo against your ribcage. Badump, badump.

“Go on,” he says, pretending like he isn’t smirking under that Beskar.

“Are you enjoying seeing me get flustered?”

“I am. It’s very satisfying, given how cocky you usually are with your little winks.”

Rolling your eyes, your fingers reach for the flak vest, pausing when you notice the silk stitches. A relic from that first night on Dorouma, when he almost died on your exam table. Of all the turns your life had taken, did you ever expect to be together on this tiny ship, looking up at this indomitable warrior with his heartfelt confessions of lust and admiration still ringing in your ears?

“What’s that look?” Mando asks.

“Mmm? Oh, nothing.”  

The stitches are trim and even, but you blush, feeling guilty for needlessly ripping the fabric. You didn’t know then about the thin metal closures concealed along either side of his back and embedded in the leather shoulder straps. It’s what let him remove the armor without disturbing his helmet.

“Your eyes,” he catches you off-guard, taking your chin in his hand to lift your face up to the light. “It’s faint, but the sheen and color are returning.”

You tamp down on the little trill of panic rising in your chest. The Mandalorian’s fingers felt cool against your flushed skin. The press of his consciousness beckons, but you ignore it, holding it back until the right moment.   

“I wanted to make sure it would regrow, before I…” 

What you don’t tell him is that you wanted to ensure that if this really would be your first time together, you’d look like yourself—not some woman who’d never existed. 

“I’m glad you can pick up the color through the view plate. I wasn’t sure.”

“One of the filters only neutralizes density, so I see things in the same detail as you do. More or less.” Mando’s thumb gently strokes the downy hair along your cheek. “Like when you’re blushing.” 

Ha! Ahhh…

The bounty hunter laughs when you have nothing to say in response.

“You are pretty cute, all hot and bothered.” He steps back from the armchair to remove the remaining vest. With the Beskar plate and tassets, it’s heavier than you expected, forcing you to place a foot on the ground for balance as you pivot to lay it on the table.

Behind you, the Mandalorian wraps an arm around your waist, and you nearly fall off the chair in surprise. 

“Why are you so nervous?” 

That’s a great question. A few hours ago, you’d brazenly reached between his legs to stroke his cock. Why are you feeling so apprehensive? All your bravado had dissolved into an anxious knot of fear and trepidation in your stomach.  

“It’s just…I’m scared of…”

“Of me?” 

Mando immediately removes his hand from your waist, voice full of concern.

“No!” you say urgently, trying to reassure him. “Sorry, I’m making this more awkward than it needs to be. I’m just scared that if I’m not careful…I’ll…I’ll do something inappropriate.” Your words are so quiet, it’s a miracle he can even hear you. 

He remains confused, nonetheless. “Again, when have you ever worried about what’s appropriate?”

“Well, I want to respect your boundaries. But I’m not quite sure what they are, so…” you look up at him. “Last time, I got carried away and did something wrong. And I’m afraid that if that happens again…”

That’s part of the truth, anyway. You don’t know how to put your other fears into words. That what you’re most afraid of is rejection. That all this joy and excitement is just weaving another rug for him to pull out from under you.

What if you let yourself surrender to desire, and when he’s finally naked and undone between your legs—he shuts down again?  

“I got carried away, too.” He sighs thoughtfully, reaching up to hold your face between his hands. “I only let myself think as far ahead as what I wanted next…until I realized I didn’t know what came next. Or after.”

You rest your hands over his, your luminous violet eyes imploring him to continue. 

“But I couldn’t think through those questions with you spread over my lap, so I just…stopped.” Mando’s gaze fell to the floor. “I still haven’t apologized for that. I tried to pull you closer, only to push you away. While I may not have relationship experience, I understand that women don’t like it when you try to have it both ways.”

“No one likes emotional whiplash,” you shrug.

“Fair enough,” he concedes. “Then I saw how much I hurt you and…I’m sorry.”      

“Thanks for that. I just hope you can understand why I’m…you know, slightly cautious about the uncertainty.”

“I understand,” he nods, looking up at you again.

“Like now. I want to help you with the sleeves—but the neck seal is attached. What if I bump your helmet? Is it ok if I touch it? Is that a taboo? I know I’m overthinking things,” you throw your hands up, feeling at a loss. “That’s why I’m coming across as nervous.”   

“Yeah. The helmet…complicates things.” Mando runs his fingers over his jaw beneath the Beskar. “But I might have a solution.”

Oh, thank the gods, we’re finally going to talk about this! Somehow, you’d found the patience to wait for him to bring it up on his own. That’s at least one test of moral courage you’ve passed today.

“Alright,” you say, sitting up straighter. And since it felt too much like lying to pretend you don’t already know what he’s talking about, “I’d be happy to, um, put on the mask. If that’s what you want.”

“How did you—”

“I walked down the aisle you were browsing,” you awkwardly hoist your shoulders up to your ears in feigned innocence. “What can I say? My skills of deduction are just that good.” 

He huffs in disbelief, and you let out a soft chuckle. “I don’t know whether I should be offended by your astonishment that I’m capable of the most basic level snooping—or terrified since you agreed to let me go undercover for this job.”

“Now that you mention it…” he brushes a few damp tendrils of hair from your face, his tone growing somber. “I’m not thrilled about the idea.”

“Because you’re worried or because you’re going to miss me?”

“It can be both.” Then, the bounty hunter draws back seriously. “Do you know how to use a knife?”

“Use a knife? Is this where I make a joke about the pointy end?” 

Mando let out a frustrated sigh. “Can you use a knife to defend yourself? They won’t let you carry a blaster, but they might let a woman keep a knife. I can show you a few moves.”

You remind yourself that weapons and combat training must be some type of Mandalorian love language. It’s sweet, really.

Grabbing hold of his arms—his thick, muscular arms—

“Mando, I survived five years of active war zones. If you want me to take a knife, I will. But I’ll be okay,” and you turn him around so you can work on unfastening the neck seal. “Trust me, I spent most of my childhood practicing how to be invisible and overlooked.”

“I find that hard to believe, given that I’ve met you.”

“Oh, ha-ha! What did you say before? I’m making up for lost time. I spent so much of my life with my head down that once I started talking, I couldn’t stop myself.” You have to climb artfully onto your knees to reach all of the snaps when a sudden thought seizes you, and you lean over his shoulder to whisper, “I was also raised to be a sacred virgin, and look how that turned out.” 

The Mandalorian snorts with so much force that he has to cough to avoid choking.

“Wow!” You exclaim, sitting back on your heels. “Don’t be a jerk. Is it that shocking? I kept that vow of chastity until the day I left, I’ll have you know.”

He turns to look at you, thumping his chest for more air. “Is that really the first thing you did with your freedom?”

“Argh! You are such–” he catches the first fist you aim at his stomach, “a punchable—” but you manage to land the second, “jerk!” 

“Sorry,” he continues to laugh, holding your fist in his hand. “That’s just–ahem—not what I expected you to say. I thought you were a princess or something.” 

“You thought I was a runaway princess?” 

“Something like that.”

“Sounds romantic. What made you think I was a princess?”

“Asks the woman who needs eight shower jets?” Mando scoffs.

This time, you punch him in the ribs.

“Ow! Not bad. You put some force behind that one.” 

He shrugs out of the armored sleeves and tosses them onto the table. Have you ever seen him in just the flight suit before? The thick fabric perfectly outlined the muscular plains of his body—his toned arms and legs, his broad shoulders, and narrow waist. 

Okay, dial it down, slutty! Don’t rush this. It’s tough being caught between impulse and self-control. You want to climb him like a tree, but you also want to be respectful and let him set the pace.  

Of course, the Mandalorian immediately puts your willpower to the test. 

“It’s your bearing,” he says, resting his hands on your shoulders. “You have large breasts, but you don’t hunch. Your back is always straight, as though someone corrected your posture growing up. I thought you must be a warrior or a princess…and you’re way too squeamish about violence.” 

Hmmm, what’s he talking about? It’s hard to focus with him standing so close, with his hands resting on your shoulders and your knees pressing into his thighs. You’d only picked up on one word of that. 

“I knew you were checking out my tits behind that view plate.” 

You expect him to be embarrassed, but instead, the Mandalorian sounds roguish. “Careful. You might kick me in the nuts right now if you knew how much time I spent staring at your tits.”

He still hadn’t moved his hands from your shoulders, so you feel brave enough to place both palms over his chest. To your great delight, his heart begins to beat faster.

“On the contrary,” you smile up at him through your lashes, arching your back so he can get a better view. You don’t need psychic abilities to know just how much the Mandalorian worships your ample cleavage. “I like being adored.” 

And it feels like the perfect occasion for one of your 'little winks.'

All the breath he’d been holding comes out in a huff of static. “You are beautiful and kind and courageous. You’ve saved my life many times.” Mando’s fingers trace up the back of your neck to cradle your head in his hands. “I know you don’t need me. Yet you make me want to protect you and keep you safe. I don’t understand how anyone could overlook you.”

Now you’re the one who’s breathless. You blush, feeling feverish. “I–I didn’t think you’d take my encouragement so literally.” 

“And I thought you’d be better at receiving compliments,” he says wryly.

“Compliments invite the envy of the gods, Mando!”

“Is that what they tell sacred virgins to keep you modest?”

The way he says the phrase ‘scared virgins’ is remarkably obscene. He’s getting far too good with these sassy retorts. 

“I already regret telling you that,” you groan. Then, staring up into his view plate, you confess in a dizzying rush before you lose your nerve. “My motives were more shameless. I want the adoration of your body. I was hoping you would grope me or kiss me.”

He seems to weigh this statement with the same grave consideration that he approached everything, even as his hands tangle into your hair. “It can be both.”

*************

“How does that feel?”

It’s silky and soft. Cushioning around the eyes and nose bridge blocked out all surrounding light and kept the mask in place. The bands rest snuggly behind your ears, cinching at the base of your skull. 

“Secure. Do you want to try it?” you offer earnestly. “So you can see for yourself?”

“No,” he says. “I trust you.”

You reach out blindly to confirm he’s still standing in the same spot.

When your fingers gain purchase, you pad lightly over his arms until you reach his elbows. Finding your balance on the back of the armchair, you spread your legs further apart so you can pull him closer into the circle of your thighs. This way, you can sense, rather than see him—by the heat radiating from his body, by the smell of his sweat, and the sound of his breathing.  

“Are you sure you’re ok with this?”

You laugh, resting your head on his shoulder, breaking the tension. “Just nervous that I might actually kick you in the nuts by accident.”

“I’ll be very careful of your knees,” he says, laughing too. 

Mando places his hands around your waist above the smooth curve of your hips. Through the whisper-thin fabric of your robe, you feel the hard calluses of his fingers, and your body tingles with anticipation, aching to feel his touch on your skin.

You can tell there’s still so much else he needed to say, but it’s hard to care about any of that now. 

Suddenly, all that mattered was to coax this yearning from him so it would surround you both in a haze of unbridled desire. When his hands slide up your back, and over your shoulders, down the length of your arms, you gasp at the touch of his thumbs, tracing the contours of your breasts. 

It’s nothing compared to the sound that spills from the modulator as your hands run up his torso to stroke the hard muscles of his chest. He’s surprisingly warm beneath your palms, rubbing them over his sides, his stomach, and pecs. 

You can tell the sensation—someone caressing his body—is new to him. Overwhelming. 

His hands grip your wrists, and you brace yourself to stop. 

“Will you help me with this?” 

With what? Another trill of panic surges in your stomach as your fingertips brush against the cold Beskar. You tremble, your mind conjuring a dozen fearful thoughts about dropping the helmet, of desecration and iconoclasm. But his hands remain full of surety, guiding you to lift it up and over his head. 

Then, you do almost drop it. 

When you feel the warmth of his breath against your cheeks, all conscious thought vanishes. 

You’re vaguely aware of him setting it down, the thud of metal impacting the wooden surface of the table. But all you can focus on is the sound of his breathing, inhaling and exhaling, the susurration of air passing his lips.

“Can I…?”

In answer, he raises your hands to his face. 

He has a strong jawline. Angular but softened by the trim hairs of his beard, which feel surprisingly supple. His nose has a prominent bridge. You like that. An equally prominent brow line. You like that too. With a deep crease in the middle of his forehead. Pfft!

“What’s funny?” he asks, the question tinged with consternation. 

“I always imagined that you must be frowning under your helmet. But it’s funny…trying to imagine the subtleties of something you can’t see.”

“You think about me frowning?”

Gods, his voice is so clear. It comes out low, a deep rumble in his chest. Less gravelly than how it sounds through the modulator. Still, very sexy.  

“Not as much as I think about you smiling,” you assure him truthfully. “Sometimes I think I hear it in your voice, but obviously, I can’t be certain. That’s why it’s such a relief—triumph, maybe? When I make you laugh. You should add wit and good humor to my list of virtues.”

At that, he does laugh. 

“Hmmf!” A sound—a whimper—escapes your lips. “Your eyes crinkle when you smile.” 

You hear the crack in your voice and quickly swallow down the sob bubbling in your throat. 

“Why are you crying, Thuli?” he asks with profound concern, his hands reaching out to comfort you.

It had nothing to do with sadness. The rush of emotion—disbelief that this was actually happening, that he had taken off his helmet, and you were touching his face! Joy in the knowledge that he trusted you enough to do this. The hunger and anticipation of what happened next, how much you wanted him. It all welled up inside you, seeking release.

“I n-never thought…” you sigh. “Would you say my name again?”

“Thulindahra,” he rolls the smooth syllables over his tongue before placing a tender kiss on your forehead. “Thulani,” you feel the brush of his warm lips on your cheek. “Thuli,” he kisses the other.

“Cyar'ika,” then his lips press against your mouth. 

You know that word. Cyar'ika. Beloved. You’d stared at it in the chapter for ‘family’ in the Mando’a phrasebook you downloaded onto your data-pad. How many times have you lain in bed looking at that word?

Cyar'ika. 

At first, his kiss is soft and delicate.

The connection to his consciousness is becoming increasingly fluid. You can sense his exhilaration tempered by a struggle for self-control. Which is very touching! He wants to linger and enjoy, to be present.

He deepens the kiss, and you respond by wrapping your arms around his neck, arching into him. At the press of your breasts against his chest, a sudden urgency crowds his mind. What little control he had is already melting away under the heat rising between you.

Mando's body can only process two competing impulses, closer and more.

Things are a little clumsy at first, his teeth catching on your lips because he's too impatient for your mouth to open. The Mandalorian groans at the first caress of your tongue, and when you steal it from his lips, he rocks his hips against you, pressing his swelling erection between your thighs. 

His kisses soon become devouring in a way that makes the heat scorch right through you as your tongues twine together and slide over each other. 

There’s no sound but your gasping breaths and the shift of your bodies. His open mouth trails kisses over your jaw, your throat, your collarbone, drinking in your skin. Then he returns to your mouth.

"You're so soft," he whispers.

Your heart is pounding in your chest. Badump, badump, badump. Mando’s lips press against your thundering pulse, and you know he must feel how fast it’s beating for him.

A hand slides down to grip your knee, spreading your legs a bit wider so he can settle further between your thighs. A sweet jolt surges through your core when you part around the hard press of his cock despite the layers of fabric.

“Can I open your robe?” his breath is hot against your ear. 

Where he found the willpower to ask permission, you have no idea. But it’s very gallant! 

“So chivalrous,” you smile, and while he’s momentarily distracted, you place a few kisses along his jaw and behind his ear. "My Mandalorian knight."  

“I want to do this right for you,” he says between hitched breaths.

This makes you smile even wider. Of course, he would imagine fucking you as an awesome responsibility. “Mando, whatever feels natural to you will be right.”

The Mandalorian pulls your robe aside to kiss your shoulder while his other hand reaches for the dip of your waist, gliding up your ribcage to cup your breast. A deep, contented sigh pours from his lips when his fingers gather its fullness into his palm. 

“This is clever,” you grin, opening his flight suit from his waist to his neck.

“Hmm,” he says distractedly. Whether that’s his response to the ingenuity of dual zippers or the feeling of your nipple budding between his fingers isn’t clear. He circles his thumb lightly around your tingling skin and kisses your breasts until the heat inside you turns into a fire that flooded your cunt with warmth.  

You feel so desperately greedy for his hands, but you also want to pleasure him, too.

Carefully, you remind yourself.  

You hoped that caressing him over his clothing would make his skin less sensitive, and it seems to have helped. His breath catches under your touch. Yet his body does not twitch or recoil.  

He shivers and trembles wherever you drag your fingertips across his skin. There’s a lot of territory to cover! The ridges of his firm abdominals, his muscular back, and the contours of his broad chest and shoulders. But again, he does not pull away. 

This makes you feel a little more comfortable about exploring him with your mouth, so you slip your fingers under the seams of his sleeves to peel them off.

Mando doesn’t protest, though perhaps you should have asked his permission? You tie his sleeves around the tantalizing jut of his hips and make a mental note to ask before tearing off his pants later. 

Your lips search blindly for his nipples—you can’t see them with the mask on!—leaving a wet trail over his body. He moans, almost painfully, when the tip of your tongue slides over the pinched skin as you draw it into your mouth. Soon overcome by the sensation, he’s done the impossible and forgot about your breasts for a minute to grab you by the hips. Between your thighs, his cock throbs eagerly against you.

“Hfff, hfff,” he can’t seem to get enough air. Under your palms, his chest stutters with each heaving breath.

“Is this okay?” you ask. It’s not a selfless question. You don’t want to overwhelm him now. That would be disappointing for both of you.

You can sort of sense him nodding before he remembers that you can’t see anything with the mask on. 

“Yes,” he whispers, burying his hand in your tangle of loose waves, fingers threading into your hair. He pulls you closer and leans his forehead against yours. “Yes,” he sighs into your mouth.

You lift your chin up to find his throat and lick at the salty skin, lips closing over the rough stubble to suck at the sharp cartilage with your soft tongue. 

He responds by pulling you tighter against him, his hands sliding up your back to press your bodies even closer. It’s an indescribable pleasure to feel your skin against his, the sensation of your supple breasts rubbing into the hard planes of his chest. The Mandalorian seemed to feel that any space separating you, even if only a few layers of clothing, was an intolerable cruelty. His cock must be aching.

Closer, his body demanded. More.

“Bed?” He asks, voice hazy with lust.

“Yes,” you say with breathless enthusiasm.

__________________________________________

Keep reading- Post #12: A Loving Feeling

Back to Volume 3 - all posts

[rosesradio]

fanfic ask game

i saw this ask game i wasn’t tagged in so let’s do it 🤠 & i’ll tag whoever wants to do it as well

1. how many works do you have on Ao3?

27 :-)

2. what's your total Ao3 word count?

466,409 (oh cool i’ll most likely hit 500k by the end of the year 💪)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

currently pjo & once in a blue moon hsmtmts, but i have written for like 10-12 different fandoms in my life

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

ceaseless eve 🌙 (a leo, nico, & piper quest + valdangelo)

camp triple pine 🌲 (a lawrusso summer camp au with fwb 👀)

talk to me, deep in the night (& i’d tell you something i never thought i’d admit) 🏕️ (a surprisingly non-smutty first caswen fic in which ricky talks with ej about how he works too hard, written in s3 era)

Cobra Kai/Karate Kid one shots 🥋 (fluff, humor, angst, smut…what it says on the tin 🤠)

he’s only here for one thing, but (so am i) 🔥 (valdangelo college au smut + camboy nico 👀)

(because i can’t tell a lie, i did skip over one or two stranger things fics on this list. i have complex feelings about them & keeping them up due to the controversy, but also abandoning them or deleting them…i’m sentimental, and i procrastinate lol. i’m glad a higher volume of people enjoyed them by nature of it being a more popular fandom, but i also feel like the kudos aren’t as genuine or earned as they are for my longfics in less popular fandoms for that reason. at least To Me. i hope that makes sense 🧍)

5. do you respond to comments?

i try to reply to every comment around the first week of posting something (because by then it’s an “old work” and it’s “weird” to comment on it, but that’s another post 😐). i still haven’t replied to the last of the ceaseless eve comments & i feel terrible, the sentimentality of it all overwhelms me but know i appreciate it 😭 i wish there was like a code word though that people could comment that lets you know if they want you to respond or not, because it’s hard to know if people want an author response or if it’ll scare them off yk

6. Which of your fics has the angstiest ending?

i don’t do a lot of angst, but when i do, i do (meaning i lay it on too melodramatically thick lmao) but i thought i’d give a list of some of my angstiest/darkest fics 🤠

the moonlace & the sunflower 🌻 (in which grover dies protecting a demigod, so the empathy link causes percy to pass away as well)

games long lost 🌳 (in which luke must drink annabeth’s blood for kronos’s reformation, it covers the dark lukabeth of it all & there’s some death)

the smallest casualty ♟️ (in which it’s slowly revealed over the course of a luke & annabeth chess game that the gods lost the war, and percy & friends have been subjected to dark magic experiments to make them compliant to luke’s fantasy)

rewired 🤖 (okay. i usually try to be humble or self deprecating or whatever but this 1400 word fic is an actual fucking masterpiece to me idc. it just came out of me and makes me physically nauseous to this day. showing this to my hypothetical therapist etc etc. oh wait what’s it about lmao—the concept of daniel rewiring his brain & morals to fit into silver’s desires. ft that sick sick silverusso dynamic)

7. Which of your fics has the happiest ending?

i have a variety of fluffy fics, but i’d have to say my happiest most sugar coated ending is—

who said anybody would? (a ej/gina/ricky road trip fic that literally ends with an ot3 picnic scene 😭 it’s just too much 🫶)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i’ve gotten unwarranted criticism (i like to ask for constructive crit comments at the end if it’s like a longfic) that’s been surprisingly rude…i won’t say which fic but someone got so mad at one of my chapters they left a lengthy mocking crit comment and then stopped reading 😭 but that’s their prerogative, i hope they found something they enjoyed afterwards. other than that, surprisingly considering some of the controversial dark fics i’ve written…no sign of flames, so thanks! 😅

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i have four different smut fics (hopefully a fifth if i can ever finish it up)…i fear they’re repetitive but also not really, they cover different fandoms and explore different kinks. i’m not really sure what to say about them, hopefully people find them hot ! or whatever !

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i’m not a fan of crossovers currently, but my longest fic i wrote when i was 15 (it’s 97k i’m beating it someday 😭) was a crossover between sanders sides, voltron, miraculous ladybug, and gravity falls (doesn’t that feel like a kick in the gut lmao—did i mention i was 15? 😅)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of 👁️👁️

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that i know of 👁️👁️

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i tried, myself and another author had a shared Google doc & everything…but we both just didn’t commit. i don’t think i’d work well with another writer…i don’t mind bouncing ideas around with a beta reader/editor (like @heavens-vault 🤠) but ultimately i’d prefer to write on my own

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

it changes—it’s currently valdangelo, but the ones I’ve written the most over the years are: prinxiety (😐), lawrusso, caswen, and valdangelo. i’m excited to explore a bunch of other ships as i continue writing as well

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh gosh, i mean i hope i don’t have any like longfics in question…i hope i can finish + deliver on Ivory Rain, but i’m sure I’ll manage even if it takes a while. i haven’t really mentioned this a whole lot to “the public” but i have what i call a “scrap fic” i’m working on, with a bunch of like 800 word chapters i just kinda bounce around when i have time. the concept is really exciting but the execution still needs work, so i’m kinda seeing how that’s gonna play out, it might not be posted. i hope it will though !

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think i’m pretty good at characterization, good romantic moments with good buildup, and humor :-)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

action scenes i hate you so much 😭 why do i insist on writing pjo fics when i can hardly write a fight scene

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i should do it more, i hate that i don’t, especially considering nico being Italian and leo’s native language being Spanish. but I’ve used & been disappointed by Google translate too many times…perhaps I’ll find another way to translate to include that for more character accuracy

19. First fandom you wrote for?

actually i think percy jackson, i’ve come full circle. the first fic i posted was sanders sides, but i remember when i was probably nine or so i wrote with pencil and paper and stapled a book together with a hand drawn cover 😭 it was about a son of Apollo, a satyr, and a daughter of Demeter on a quest…so really, richard took some creative liberties from my hand written fanfic i think 👀

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

like the ships, it changes—I love all my fics, it’s hard to explain how there’s little fractures of me at different points in my life at any given time in my works. no amount of over-explaining could make anyone understand how i express myself through my character’s emotions and desires and fears and journeys.

at the moment, my favorite fic is CE. it just got completed, myself and others are excited for the sequel. i think all my pjo works in particular are pretty good, and of course i tend to shy away from my older works because my writing…probably wasn’t as good. but that just means I’ve improved, so that’s good.

that’s all the questions, but this was fun ! :-)

[doctorofmagic]

All we know so far about the new Doctor Strange series

It’s been a while since the new volume was announced but now we have the full solicitation and more covers for issue #1.

Written by Jed MacKay and drawn by Pasqual Ferry, the story will be “centered around a shocking mystery that strikes at the very heart of Strange’s legacy and purpose”. The series will pay homage to the “hero’s psychedelic and otherworldly storytelling, taking readers to places only Strange would dare to go and introducing enemies only he could hope to defeat, including a brand-new threat that Strange shares a personal connection with.”

The new uniform was redesigned by Alex Ross himself.

He also did the art for the main cover to promote the series, which is a homage to Frank Brunner’s cover for the Treasure Edition, as well as this pin-up.

“It's been really exciting to have the opportunity to not only continue exploring the magical side of the Marvel Universe with the inhabitants of 177A Bleecker Street, but to follow the lives of the Stranges as the last year and a half has put them through the wringer. Pasqual has been putting together a truly magical book, and I'm super psyched to show people what's in store for Stephen and Clea Strange—and of course, we won't be giving them any time off after recent events..." MacKay says.

“When I started working for Marvel a long time ago, there were three comics I had always wanted to draw: FANTASTIC FOUR, SPIDER-MAN, and DOCTOR STRANGE,” Ferry said. “Why Doctor Strange? Because his stories include all the elements I love as an artist—the fantasy, science fiction, and imagination. Above all, the fact that I could look at Steve Ditko’s work as a reference really motivates me! When he drew Doctor Strange, all the utopian and imaginary sceneries  were incredible. So this is a very special moment in my career, and I’m looking forward to seeing where the character is going to take us with this new narrative. I know a lot of artists, including myself, consider Doctor Strange a challenge, like there is a need to add something new to the character because it offers you that possibility. For me, Doctor Strange is a big challenge, but I embrace it.”

[Source]

Doctor Strange #1

JED MACKAY (W) • PASQUAL FERRY (A) • Cover by ALEX ROSS MARVEL ICON VARIANT COVER BY STEFANO CASELLI VARIANT COVER BY MARCO CHECCHETTO STORMBREAKERS VARIANT COVER BY MARTIN COCCOLO INFINITY SAGA PHASE 3 VARIANT COVER BY STEVE SKROCE TIMELESS DORMAMMU VIRGIN VARIANT COVER BY ALEX ROSS TIMELESS DORMAMMU VIRGIN SKETCH VARIANT COVER BY ALEX ROSS CHANGE YOUR REALITY! Stephen Strange is back! Reunited with Clea and Wong, it's back to business as usual for the Sorcerer Supreme. Have your children fallen into a deep nightmarish slumber? Are demonic refugees invading your home? Is your husband possessed by a satanic entity? Then call Doctor Strange! Join Jed MacKay (MOON KNIGHT, BLACK CAT) and Pasqual Ferry (NAMOR: CONQUERED SHORES, SPIDER-MAN: SPIDER'S SHADOW, THOR) as they begin a new chapter in the life of the Master of the Mystic Arts! 40 PGS./Rated T+ …$4.99

---

Now, my personal view. It’s Jed MacKay, so of course I know it’ll be good. Stephen and Clea are in good hands for SURE. It does feel, though, that the series will be focused on classic comics’ style, from Ditko to Brunner. Now, I do love Brunner’s art, it’s one of my favorite DS artists. But I’m not entirely convinced by the new design, especially for modern days. I’m not too familiar with Ferry’s art either, but as always, I’ll wait and see how it goes.

As for the story, am I concerned about who’s the person close to Stephen doing questionable things? Yes. I don’t have any idea of who they might be, though, but I do hope it doesn’t ruin the affection I have towards these characters.

Overall, I’m just glad that Stephen is back and he's reunited with Clea, Wong and Bats. Now I can expect way more cameos and team-ups, which makes me waaaay happier n.n it was a tough year for fans. I really love hurt/comfort, but boi, the comfort part is taking too long!!

PS: I see these MCU/MoM references and I despise them.

[youkaigakkou-tl]

Chapter 100 translator's notes thoughts

Would be pretty bold of me to call this tl notes considering how long and rambly it got lol

First off, some news: JP volume 15 will release on June 27! It’ll likely contain ch 94 to 100 (based on pagecount). Vol 2 of yoseito also releases the same day, probably containing ch 16 to 32 (and i’ll finally be able to tl ch 16)

Also, vol 13 in english comes out July 18

Chapter Name

Honestly I could have translated it as “Hundred Demons’ Night Parade of Hyakki Academy Island” but that’s really long and doesn’t have the double “hyakki”s and also everyone knows what “hyakki yakou” is right? Right?

Anyway, the part I’m pointing out is the way it’s numbered. In Chinese and Japanese, there’s an alternate system for numbering things in a set if there’s only 2 or 3: 上-中-下 or 前-中-完结 (or 后)

上-中-下 means literally “upper - middle - lower”, 前-中-完结 means “start - middle - end” (if there’s only 2, it skips the middle)

So the fact that this is used tells that this is a 2 or 3 part arc, instead of simply “part 1” which tells you nothing about how many parts there are total. Unfortunately, simply “part 1” is also the most natural way to number things in English so it is what it is. Also I don’t know if it’s 2 or 3 parts so it’s not like I can confidently put “part 1 of 2”.

While we’re on the color spread, did you notice Seimei in the back? (With the JP he’s way more covered by the text)

At first I thought it was “gods / teachers etc / class 2-3 / family” but then I realised Principal was on the left so its actually “senior citizens / teachers etc (relative youngsters) / class 2-3 / family” (and then later noticed Seimei and karasutengu troupe behind Ranmaru)

Also Ame on the color page again!! Ame nation (population: me) being fed this year amen

Autumn Festival

The autumn festival, or aki matsuri. As the name sounds, it’s kinda vague, and from what I could find, while a lot of shrines and temples celebrate it, there’s not one nationwide date, and it happens anytime from early October to late November, most commonly around late October to early November.

(Really? Is canada really focusing on dates again? For real? Again?)

Late October/early November is probably right, given the most recent confirmed date we have (ch97, October 18th), and it’s still within 2 weeks of ch95. (And also because time travel stuff hasn’t happened yet, which also has to be within these 2 weeks where he has bandaged arms. its me, ceo of time travel truthing)

What Is Sensei Cooking

First of all, the bandaged arms, Hatanaka time travel etc etc I’ve said this a million times.

The mystery of why Ibara likes Hatanaka in the first place gets brought up again! It’s GOTTA happen it HAS TO.

That aside, this is the second time it’s brought up that the baby may be a shutendouji (the other time is ch 81) and I’m starting to think this is going to be like… real plot or something…? Eyebrow raise?

If we do the maths, ch11 (the first senseis’ sunday chapter, where we learn Ibara is pregnant) happens on May 26th (assuming my timeline is right), and it’s currently October/November, so she’s at least 5 months pregnant. It also mentions she was feeling ill, which was why Hatanaka took her to the hospital, so she may have already been a few months pregnant at that point (assuming the pregnancy is a similar length to humans’)

Well. This doesn’t really mean anything but I like putting things into perspective.

Also, I’m just realising that both senseis’ sunday chapters (11 and 81), besides being “the teachers hang out on a sunday”, are actually caused by Ibara being pregnant. What the hell why is this manga so smart (I may just be stupid)

Random misc TL notes

Late Edo period would be around 1850s/60s. For reference, Takahashi was in school 120 to 130 years ago, and the main story takes place sometime in the 2010s, so that would have been the 1890s, plus minus 10 years.

I’ve mentioned this before and it’s not really an important detail, but “temple” is for Buddhism and “shrine” is for Shinto.

“Shintai”, literally translated, means “god’s body”, is the object of worship at shrines that stands in for the god itself. It could be something small and held in the shrine like this mirror, or like the whole of Mount Fuji. The tree at the shrine Genbu recommends in ch 94 is also a shintai. I could have translated it more but if they’re going to talk about it a whole lot may as well keep it as it is.

Now “shinsen” is evidently such a rare word that sensei had to put that note there, and also my phone couldn’t type the “sen” kanji. If it weren’t for that note I totally would have just gone with “food offering” and been done with it!! (shakes fist)

The stuff on the shelf is probably what clued Principal in that Ranmaru didn’t have prizes other than candy (besides knowing what he’s like ofc). There is no way this guy owns A5 wagyu. Or onsen trip tickets. Also irrelevant but that game console says “sailor” lmao

This thing… well… the screenshots speak for themselves

Marodo Shrine

Marodo shrine has actually been shown before, in chapter 27. It wasn’t even brought up by name in any dialogue but it stuck out to me because I remember finding it weird there’s a shrine on the island and googling it to get no real answers. The name itself is pretty vague, “客人 marodo” just means guest, in this case “guest deity” (so it's not the name of any god).

But looking at it now with the knowledge of, yknow, turtle island, it’s fairly interesting.

There are a few shrines called “Marodo shrine”  but the common trend seems to be an association with Itsukushima island (also known as Miyajima) or the sea. The most famous one probably being the one in Itsukushima shrine (the shrine with the giant torii on the ocean), and the island itself is said to be the god and the object of worship. There’s a pond called “Kagamiike” (mirror pond) in the shrine, and the Marodo shrine itself worships the 5 sons of Amaterasu, which tangentially connects it to the Yata no Kagami mirror of the three sacred treasures of Japan. None of this really means anything it’s probably just happenstance. For one, Itsukushima is in Hiroshima, nowhere near the location off the coast of Tokyo that the manga shows multiple times.

But it’s not like I’m pointing this out because it’s a 1 to 1 comparison, rather it’s an interesting coincidence (probably). By the way, I think this is where the shrine is on the island (since it’s on the mountain and has steps leading up to it)

Turtle Island

Anyway. Speaking of turtle island. Wow turtle island am I right. I still have not recovered from turtle island this page is insane. I’m pretty sure this is also the first time we get a good look at the island from above. You can see the train station they’re at in ch 58 at the bottom there.

Like how principal face reveal recontextualizes every previous time we see him, this is the same thing to me.

It specifically points out that it's from Chinese mythology, which is interesting, and I wonder if there's anything more to that than just being trivia. In Chinese mythology, the spirit turtle, or just turtles in general, are a part of a set of 4 sacred/illuminated/intelligent beasts, being: dragon, phoenix, kirin and turtle. This is distinct from the other set of 4 animals that are Seiryuu (dragon), Suzaku (bird), Byakko (tiger) and Genbu (turtle + snake). But these two share a lot of concepts because they’re the sort of animals that show up everywhere in Chinese mythology anyway.

Mount Penglai (Horai in JP) is said to be an island where immortals reside and is carried on the back of a spirit turtle in the ocean to the east of China. (This will be relevant?)

Turtle Tangent

A commenter on Bilibili (the chinese tl site) pointed out, and I’ve noticed personally, that the spirit turtle of China is typically a land tortoise or freshwater softshell turtle, and almost never depicted as a sea turtle, even in the context of “carrying an island in the ocean”.

This is very irrelevant, but I haven’t seen anyone make the connection, so my hypothesis is that “sea turtles” just weren’t a known thing in ancient China. There are 5 species of sea turtles native to the seas around China, but all known nesting locations are far in the south, whereas most of the population centers throughout history have been in the north, and most importantly, inland. On the other hand, tortoise shells have been used for writing and divination since writing developed, and softshell turtles are used in chinese medicine.

Of course, that wouldn’t be the reason in the modern day, but perhaps that specific image of the “spirit turtle” has become encoded into the mythology and become a fictional creature as much as dragons or kirin.

Honestly I’ve Just Been Chasing Tangents For This Part

Another story that comes to mind when hearing “turtle” and “mythology” is probably Urashima Taro, a fisherman who saves a turtle and is carried on its back to the dragon’s underwater palace, but when he returns to land he finds that hundreds of years have passed. In an older version of the story, instead of the dragon’s palace, he is taken to Horai (aka Mount Penglai).

There’s some kind of connection here with Itsukushima shrine I think, which is said to be built on the ocean in the image of the dragon’s palace, located on and worshipping an island mountain.

None of this means anything, probably. I just want to see what sensei cooks up really

One last thing though, about Ranmaru. We get 2 pieces of somewhat-conflicting info directly from him: “this god owes me a favor so they gave me this island” and “this island IS the god, and they’ve been asleep in a mirror this whole time”. You see how this doesn’t sound good for Ranmaru right. I don’t necessarily think he’s lying about any of it since he looks too serious for that, but he’s definitely leaving out some important details on purpose.

Thing is, if the mirror has to stay in the shrine to keep the god asleep, telling the principal to make offerings to it every 3 years a pretty good way to make sure the shrine is maintained and the mirror isn’t lost to time, as well as sidestepping the problem of curiosity if he outright said “the condition is you keep that mirror in that shrine”. Actually, did the shrine and mirror already exist on the island before Ranmaru gave it to the principal? And if it didn’t, how was Reiki being kept asleep before, and who made the mirror?

In any case. Ranmaru I love you but you are going to have to explain everything. Anyway this has been 1800 words and I need to end it so I can close the 50 wikipedia tabs I have open.

[80pairsofcrocs]

baby scarab || 55

anon - I kinda want drunk y/n, but not alcohol drunk, KHONSHU drunk...yk?

~~~

@yikesitskennawrites - Can we have a chapter that shows just how bad caspers dad is? Like y/n is there in person to see it and not just hear about it from casper 👀👀👀

~~~

A/N : this is also all over the place

masterlist - marvel masterlist - series masterlist

A/N : THERE IS NO MORE SCHEDULE, IM SORRY also thank you all sm for the support and requests :)))

please enjoy, and don't be shy if you want to be in the taglist, just ask <3, sorry for the long wait

pairings : steven grant x (platonic)reader, marc spector x (platonic) reader, khonshu x (platonic)reader, jake lockley x (platonic)reader

TW : medicine (pills), spidey stuff, mentions of violence, language, mention of fighting, terrible dad, lots of arguing, the 'L' word, let me know if i missed anything.

~~~

you woke up and felt like a million dollars.

you felt great, and you didn’t know why.

you did get confused thought when you checked your phone and saw that it was two days later.

it took you a few minutes to get up though, just not having the strength too.

you did eventually walk out of your room though.

jake was sleeping on the couch, the tv was still on which meant he fell asleep while watching something.

his hat was pulled over his eyes, which you smiled at before going up to him and slowly reaching a hand out towards his hat.

your wrist was caught a millisecond before you grabbed it though, causing you to dramatically gasp.

“you were awake?” you shouted, surprised at your own volume, which also made jake give you a weird look.

“sorry” you whisper, jake letting go of your wrist so that you could sit next to him.

you just then noticed the cat curled up on his lap, so you smile even wider.

“hiiii luna” you pet the cat, who purrs at you.

“you alright?” jake asks and you just look up to stare at him before turning back to the cat.

“did i not tell you about the after effects?” khonshus voice makes both you and jake flinch, as he was perched on the back of the couch, almost touching you.

“what after effects? what’s wrong with her?” marc questions the bird while you just focus on luna.

“she’s a little.. how would she say.. loopy?” khonshu shrugs and jake scoffs.

“great” he mumbles, catching you before you fall off the couch.

by now, you had stopped letting the cat, and were now leaning forward to connect your forehead to jakes shoulder.

“y/n-“

“papa my head hurts” you whine, feeling jakes hand come up to rub your back in comfort.

“it’ll be alright, princesa” he assures you, and you just sit there.

you focus in on your lettered scars on your forearm, since you were wearing a t shirt.

“i don’t want these anymore” you start to scratch at them, jake holding your wrists to try and stop you.

“i know, but..” he doesn’t know how exactly to comfort you at this specific moment. “but you.. you just have to, okay?” he says in his nicest possible voice, but you push his hand away and keep scratching at them, convinced you could scratch them clean off.

“stop it, you’re hurting yourself-“ you get up and stumble over yourself trying to get away from jake, who was trying to get you to stop.

you didn’t have a single emotion running through you, and you just felt the need to get these six letters off of you.

“if it’s to remind me of who i am, then i don’t want it” marc took control, pulling you to his chest so that your back was flush against it, then pulling your arms apart from each other before you could draw blood.

you just let him, feeling tired all of a sudden.

“but he’s not my dad. you guys are” you complain, and marc sighs.

“we know angel, just try and ignore it-“

“i can’t. i can’t do it” you turn around to look at marc properly.

“honey where did this come from? i thought you wanted to forget about it?” marc asks.

“my brain feels weird” you start. “i don’t want to think that but i still do- i want to forget you have to believe me” you let out a shaky breath.

“that’s okay, you just need to calm down for a minute until the effects wear off” marc nods at you, while tears gathered in your eyes.

“look what you did, khonshu” marc mutters angrily, leading you back to the couch to sit you down before leaving the room for a quick moment.

you don’t know why you were feeling like this. your opinions about things were different than when you last remembered, and it made no sense.

marc came back, and you noticed an item of clothing in his hands.

“what’s that?” you ask, watching as marc sat back down.

“something you can cover your arms with so you quit putting yourself down” he puts simply and you just sigh.

marc pulls the sweatshirt over your head, making you put your arms through the long sleeves.

the sweatshirt was obviously a bit big on you, considering marc had always bought clothes just a size bigger than what would actually fit him.

he said it just feels more comfortable. like he’s not being suffocated.

something about a cave or some shit.

you look down at the navy blue sweatshirt to see a ‘cubs’ logo on it.

“i didn’t know you liked baseball” you observe out loud, and marc nods.

“i got that when layla and i went to a game” he starts, happy at the fact you had gotten easily distracted.

you happily nodded along, urging him to continue.

“it was actually one of the first dates we went on. it was the day i asked her to be my girlfriend actually” he says and you chuckle.

“and she said yes? to you?” you snort, and marc glares at you.

“you are so funny” he deadpans, which makes you laugh harder, burying your face in the sleeves of the sweatshirt.

“but for real, that’s soooo sweet” you smile. “where exactly did you meet mom?” you ask and marc just bites back from grinning to wide.

“that’s a story for another day” he says gently and you yawn.

“but i wanna know” you whine, leaning on marc’s shoulder.

“and you will eventually” he defends himself and those were the last words you heard before falling back asleep, suddenly feeling tired.

“oh thank god” steven mumbles, khonshu finally appearing behind marc on the couch.

“now wait a damn minute- will she be normal when she wakes up? or is she going to-“

“yes, spector she’s fine. just let her sleep it off” he waves marc off, while he scoffs.

“you couldn’t have just- i don’t know, made it so that she felt fine?” marc begins his rant, when he feels your phone start ringing from your pocket in your pants.

“oh shit. who is it?” steven asks after he basically pushes marc out of the way to front.

marc just let him, not wanting to deal with stevens usual attitude.

jake clicks his tongue before speaking. “i thought you didn’t like curses?” he asks rhetorically while steven gently reaches into your pocket.

“i don’t” is all steven says before pulling the phone out of your pocket.

“what does he want now?” jake mockingly complains after seeing that casper was the one calling you.

“do i answer it?” steven asks.

“yes” “no” come two different responses, steven listening to jake and pressing the green button.

“hiya, this is- this is steven” he says quickly and he hears casper take a breath.

“oh hey steven. is y/n okay? i wanted to ask her something” he replies.

steven hums before speaking. “she’s alright, just tired” he starts. “i can pass a message if you want?” he offers.

“sure, i just wanted to- i was wondering if she wanted to come over for dinner. my mom has bread for her” casper tells steven and he smiles.

“i’m sure she’d love to, what time will she be heading over?”

“around 4 if that’s okay”

“i’ll let her know- i’m positive she’ll say yes so she’ll see you then”

“okay thank you” he hangs up, and steven simply chuckles before setting your phone down on the coffee table.

~~~

the next time you woke up, you felt normal again.

this time, remembering what had happened, yet not being able to control your actions.

more like just seeing it like a movie.

you payed no mind to it though, since you didn’t see any of your dads anywhere, making you get up in alarm but cursing at yourself when black dots clouded your vision.

you nearly tripped over your own feet before feeling two arms steady you from in front of you.

you blinked back your vision to see that khonshu was the one who had helped you.

and you figured that out seeing as you almost hit your head on his large beak.

“thank you” you mumble to the bird, who nods and backs up after you steady yourself.

“where’s-“ you cut yourself off when steven comes out of your room, stopping to smile as he sees that you’re awake.

“what were you doing in there?” you ask suspiciously.

“laundry”

“where is it then”

“…”

“steven”

he mumbles something he thought you wouldn’t hear, but of course you did because of your enhanced hearing.

“jake wanted to pet the cats but they are under your bed and he was crying because they wouldn’t come out” he said quickly, and you just chuckle.

“you could’ve just told me” you start, steven coming to talk to you properly. “i wouldn’t make fun of him” you smile.

“oh sweetheart” steven smiles. “yes you would”

“now, a certain someone had called you when you were asleep asking if you wanted to go to his place for supper” he informs you and you nod.

“so can i?” you ask and he nods.

“just no fonduing”

“it’s literally dinner, steven” you turn away from him, seeing him silently laugh before you could fully turn around.

“i’m just kidding. kind of. not really actually” he says almost all at once, and you roll your eyes.

“can we at least walk you there?” marc asks, changing the subject.

“yeah” you answer, checking your phone after picking it up off the coffee table.

“it’s already 3. what time did he want me there?”

“around 4”

“cool”

~~~

“are you almost done? he’s not going to care what you look like” marc knocks on the bathroom door.

“yes he will! i’m greasy!” you yell back, adjusting your clothes and hair in the mirror.

“why do you care about that all of a sudden?” he knocks again, and this time you unlock the door so he can let himself in.

“because i don’t want to fuck it up” you mumble, marc opening the door slowly to stand beside you in the mirror.

“you won’t fuck it up” marc says softly and steven scoffs, shaking his head from said mirror.

“i agree, minus the blasphemy” he starts. “i can tell that he likes you, no need to worry about your appearance”

“how can you tell?” jake asks, referring to the second thing steven mentioned.

“because he looks at her the same way marc looks at layla”

“okay you don’t have the talking stick so shut up” marc interrupts stevens thought process and you scoff.

“hey he’s just answering jakes question, don’t be stupid” you look up at marc with furrowed brows.

“yeah don’t be a panini head”

“okay- well we gotta go, are you ready?” marc asks and you just slowly nod, letting him lead you out of the bathroom to get your shoes on and walk out the door.

it was a nerve wracking ten minute walk, you and marc just being silent while you held his hand on the way there.

you don’t know why you were so nervous all of a sudden.

you think it had something to do with your tingle, single it was lingering in the back of your head.

you did eventually get to casper’s front door, and you just stood there while marc waited for you on the bottom steps.

“go on” he urges you, making you look behind you to see him nodding towards the door.

you let out a sigh and knock, hearing footsteps come to the door before it opens.

it was allison who opened the door again, and once she realized who it was she smiled and opened it wider.

you look back and send one last smile and a small wave to marc before heading inside.

all three of the guys watched with smiles as well before turning to walk back home.

back inside, allison had showed you a drawing she made at school that was hanging on the fridge.

casper came in, and smiled at the fact that you were getting along with his sister so well.

he knew you would get along though, ever since you met her.

she talked about you a lot too, always asking when you would come over or if she would ever get to go on a play date at your house.

casper would simply just tell her that it’s a surprise when the next time you’d be over, not exactly knowing himself.

“see this is you” allison points to a crayon drawn stick figure with h/c, red, and blue hair.

you smile widely. “you are the best artist i’ve ever met” you tell her in all seriousness, now noticing casper coming up behind you.

allison giggled before grabbing onto the hem of your jacket, hiding behind you while casper came up to stand beside you.

“how’ve you been?” he asks, looking you in the eye while you run your fingers through allison’s coily hair, as she was leaning her head on your hip.

“great. school starts in like two days” you roll your eyes at your own statement.

“not too excited, but this is our last year” casper tries to make light of it.

you just groan and casper chuckles while allison let’s go of you to sprint off to her room again, giggling all the way there.

“so yesterday was..”

“don’t even start” you shake your head at him, to which he puts his hands up in surrender.

“fine fine, i was just going to say it was-“

“shush” you interrupted again, so he rolls his eyes and just leads you towards the living room to sit you down on the couch.

“how’s your mom been?” you ask to start conversation.

“she misses you”

“why?”

“you’re very missable”

“aw” you lean your head obnoxiously on his shoulder, as you hear footsteps coming into the room.

“i thought i heard voices” grace comes in with a smile, choosing to stand in the entrance to speak to you.

“hey grace, how is your day?” you ask politely and she smiles even wider.

“better now that there’s a polite teenager in the house” she darts her eyes at casper for a second, which makes him scoff.

“but i’m-“

grace waves him off. “take a joke, casper” she rolls her eyes playfully, and begins to walk back to the kitchen.

“it’s great to see you, y/n” you hear her say before leaving.

“…why does she have to embarrass me like that?” casper mumbles, making you chuckle.

“don’t worry, marc does the same thing” you pat his back gently, careful of the brace he had on under his shirt.

he just smiles before it quickly disappears as you both hear the front door open.

you get confused as casper tenses slightly, making you take a hand off his back.

the door closes and he holds his breath.

you grow concerned as heavy footsteps make their way to where the kitchen is, the living room walls blocking all view from it.

“he wasn’t supposed to be home until tomorrow” casper whispers to himself.

“who? is that your dad?” you ask quietly and he nods, looking to you.

“you need to leave” he shoots up, grabbing your forearms to urge you to do the same.

“what?- why?” you panic as he leads you to the window, keeping his hands around your arms.

“if he sees you- he knows you exist obviously, you saw him that one day but he’s not-“

he’s interrupted by a man clearing his throat from the doorway to the living room.

and there he was.

casper’s dad. he was scary too, he looks like he hadn’t smiled in years.

“now, i recognize you” he starts. “the girlfriend” he says in disgust.

“and why is she here?” the tall man turns to casper you was tightly gripping your sleeves unintentionally.

“she’s.. we invited her for dinner” he says honestly.

“why?” he deadpans.

it’s dead silent before you decide to build up the courage to speak.

“i can leave if you want me to” you say quietly, making casper look to you in alarm.

“wait- you don’t have to-“ he whispers.

“quiet” capsers dad blurts. “at least introduce us” he says sternly and casper nods, taking his now sweaty hands off of your sleeves, both of you turning to face the man who was standing only a few feet away.

“right- uhm, dad, this is my girlfriend y/n” he begins awkwardly, just to please his father.

“and y/n, this is my dad, reginald” he ends quietly, avoiding any and all possible eye contact with anybody.

“it’s nice to meet you” you mumble, seeming to start some kind of staring contest with the man.

“what of your parents?” he asks, shocking both you and casper.

“what about them?”

reginald just sighs, so you start speaking.

“well i actually have three dads” you start quickly. “they have D.I.D.”

“go on” reginald urges you to continue, while casper looks at you as if telling you that you didn’t have to.

“marc- one of my dads was in the marines, he’s uhm.. married to my mom, layla”

“steven used to work at the museum, and jake had a cab service on weekends” you end quietly and he hums.

“and you? what do you do to better my son?” he asks defensively, casper grabbing your hand to try and make sure you were okay.

“..what?” you ask back, and he shakes his head and begins to elaborate.

“you aren’t slowing him down, are you?” he starts. “he doesn’t need a distraction from his upcoming studies”

first off, why is this bitch talking like it’s the 1800s? and second, how does he have the audacity to say this kind of stuff to you.

he doesn’t even know you, and this guy is worried about you being a distraction?

“dad i already told you, she’s not-“

“i wasn’t speaking to you” reginald interrupts casper, making you scoff.

“i see it within you girl, an unorthodox genealogy” reginald starts again, making you clench your jaw in anger.

“a hybrid that seems particularly… reckless” he finishes his insults, turning back around, but not before giving you a quick glare first.

“grace! i’m going out and that girl better be out of the house by the time i’m back!” you hear him yell throughout the hallways before the front door slammed again.

“y/n i’m so sorry- i didn’t know he’d be home early i would’ve-“

he’s cut off when you both hear a sob come from the kitchen.

“shit” casper mumbles, hooking your elbow with his to speed walk to the kitchen.

when grace noticed you two were there, she wiped the tears off her face and smiled.

“kids, dinner is almost ready” she says casually, ignoring the way her voice cracked at the end of her sentence.

“casper can you go get your sister?” she asks, fighting back tears.

he just simply nods, sliding his hand out of yours to do so hesitantly.

you were left with grace, who was about to plate the food before you spoke up.

“grace.. are you okay?” you ask the simple question, and that was all it took for her to burst into tears again.

you rush to her side to make sure she doesn’t burn herself on anything, and you can tell she was a bit embarrassed from crying in front of you.

you let her lean against you for a minute before she calmed down and stood back up straight.

“i’m sorry y/n, i don’t know what came over me”

“grace you don’t have to apologize you-“ coming to a realization you would address later, you continue. “-it’s not your fault. is he always like that?” you ask softly, not wanting to pry.

she regretfully nods. “i heard what he said to you- he is not the man i married” she shakes her head, facing back towards the food after patting your shoulder lightly.

casper came back with allison, who had no clue what had happened.

allison goes to sit down at the dinner table, while casper approached his mom.

“did he say anything to you?” he asks her, to which she shakes her head.

“not me” she darts her eyes to you, making casper look down at the ground in guilt.

“i didn’t know he’d be home today, i’m sorry” casper says to you and you just shake your head.

“didn’t effect me” you shrug, making grace smile warmly at you.

“really, it’s fine let’s just forget about it hm?” you suggest, earning smiles from both of the harts’ in front of you.

~~~

it was after dinner and you were sitting next to allison, helping her read a book she was given by her teacher, casper right next to you just watching.

he wasn’t watching allison, but you instead.

the way you’d genuinely smile when allison got a word right. or the way you allison would even lean into you at your praise.

he loved it.

never had his sister ever been this close with someone that wasn’t family.

he was happy, but as soon as that door clicked open again earlier than expected it all went to shit.

“i thought i told you to get that thing out of the house” reginald announces, gesturing to you who’s eye twitched at the insult.

allison was already near tears, so you leaned in close to her ear. “you want to go find your mom?” you ask.

she nods quickly and hops off the chair with her book, rubbing off down the hallway.

by this time, you and casper had both stood up, you gathering your jacket and the small container of bread grace made especially for you.

“don’t call her a thing” casper mutters, and you shake your head.

“casper it’s fine”

“it better be, now get out of my house” reginald grits out at you, making you refrain from rolling your eyes.

“dad stop-“

“now you be quiet, we are going to have a talk after it leaves” he says, referring to you.

“no- just shut up! you’re not listening!” casper snaps, shocking both you and his father.

“why are you insulting her? you don’t even know her!” he raises his volume, and you keep shaking your head at him to try and get him to stop.

“quit that, y/n, he doesn’t get to speak to you like that- nobody does”

“and why not? she can’t possibly too important to you” reginald sneers, and you clench your jaw.

“she is important to me!” he runs a hand through his hair quickly while you just sigh tiredly.

“and why is that? why is this insignificant girl important?” casper’s father asks rhetorically, not expecting the quick answer he gives.

“she’s important because i love her!”

this makes you shoot your head towards casper, your lips part in shock as you slowly lose grip on your jacket.

it’s silent for a moment before reginald slams his fist down on the table before speed walking away down the hall, while you just stare at casper.

he just takes in a shaky breath before coming over to you quickly, taking your hand in his and helping you to get outside.

“i’ll walk you home” he mumbles, knowing you could hear him.

it was a silent walk back to your apartment, your hand in casper’s while your eyes were still sort of wide in a form of shock.

you approach the building that you live in, no doubt one of your dads- marc- was up there pacing back and forth and staring out the window while waiting for you to get back.

you stop casper in his tracks, making him turn to you hesitantly, already knowing what’s to come.

“did you.. did you mean it?” you ask in almost a whisper and he sighs, taking a small step closer to you.

he doesn’t answer you right away, which made you worry until you saw the nervousness etched onto his face.

“..if it’s too soon i totally understand” he starts. “and you definitely don’t have to say it back- i just- i would say i was caught up in the moment but it’s still true” he ends quickly and you feel a sudden warmth in your chest.

“i really do love you. you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but if it made you uncomfortable you-“

“i love you too” you cut him off in a way that made his heart skip a beat.

“..you do?”

“well yeah, you think i would say i love you and not mean it?” you attempt at a joke and just get an eye roll from casper.

“please get home safe” you bring a hand up to brush a strand of hair out of casper’s face before settling it on his cheek.

“i will. i promise” he nods to you.

you slightly nod back leaning up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before letting him go to walk past him to the door.

“hey- not so fast” casper yanks you back as gently as he can by your forearm, and pulls you into a deep kiss.

you reciprocated it immediately. you had both formed some kind of rhythm, knowing what to do to not make it awkward.

you two stayed lip locked for another 10 seconds before parting for breath.

“happy?” you ask cheekily, lifting an eyebrow.

“very” he says back, and you both smile before he turns around, slowly walking back in the direction of his house.

you smile to yourself before heading inside, grinning stupidly to yourself the whole elevator ride.

“why are you smiling like an idiot?” khonshu appears beside you as you walk out of the elevator and towards your door.

“i’m not” you weakly deny the claim, only hiding your smile behind your sleeve.

“hm. your fathers will not believe you, little knight” he warns and you just roll your eyes, dampening the grin while you unlock and open the door.

marc was the one pacing. obviously.

while steven was the most nervous and fidgety of the bunch, marc tended to be a bit extra when he’s impatient.

he just wanted to be sure you were safe at home with them even though he knew you’d be fine.

“hey- how was it?” he asks you, coming and helping you get your jacket off.

you took your shoes off as you answered. “it went great” you say, not even thinking about casper’s dad.

“and i got bread” you add on, making steven chuckle.

“of course, what would you do without your bread?” jake asks rhetorically and you set the bread down on the counter before moving to sit next to it.

“the counters y/n-“

“you’re forgetting the good part, child” khonshu sits perched next to you on the counter.

your eyes widen a fraction and your smile turns into a scowl in a silent warning.

“good part? oh do tell” steven teases lightly and your face turns red, feeling hotter than the sun.

“nothing” you mumble.

khonshu decided to take it upon himself to tell them all what happened.

“the ghost child said he loved her” he starts, shocking marc. “and the tiny spector said it back” he finishes.

marc looked light he was about to go into cardiac arrest.

“he said he- and you..?” he starts pointing to random spots in the room.

you just nod while steven is the only one who verbally responds at the moment.

“ohmygoshhedid?! i’m so happy for you!”

“steven- just think about this for a second-“

“dios mio-“

“we are losing our little girl to a ghost!” marc exclaims, and you can’t help but laugh.

“you aren’t losing me, dad” you start, getting off the counter to approach him. “i may love him, but i love you guys more” you say honestly.

now as much as you didn’t want to admit, you did love your dads more than casper. but there were solid reasons why.

“you guys saved me. nothing will ever take me away from you” marc makes a face at that.

“you don’t know that-“

“yes i do” you cut marc off, then proceed to latch your arms around his neck in a tight hug that he reciprocated as well.

“he’s a good kid. as much as i don’t want to admit- im happy for you, honey” he presses a kiss into the crown of your head, then you both let go of the hug.

“thank you dad” you turn on your heel to open the fridge, pushing stuff around while trying to find your juice.

“but really, it went well? anything you’d care to tell us?” steven asks as if he knew what happened.

“what did khonshu tell you?” you ask right back, shocking steven with your forwardness.

“why don’t you tell us? khonshus not very good at explaining things” steven suggests and you just sigh, moving past steven to sit on the couch after getting your juice.

“casper’s dad is an ass” you open the bottle and take a sip of it as steven sits down next to you.

“he called me a thing” you start. “and he called me reckless, and his whole family is like scared of him” you shake your head.

“is there anything we could do to help?” steven asks and you shrug.

“he’s almost never home, but when he is i can tell it’s tense” you tell him and he sighs.

“well the next time you see them, tell them they have our support” steven nods to marc and jake you both agree.

“thank you guys, that means a lot” you smile.

“alright, now tell us all about your night. only the good parts though” marc corrects himself, and you do just that.

you told your dads all about the good parts of the night.

bonding with casper’s family, mostly.

you told them all about his sister as well, and how she was doing in school so far since she starts school a bit earlier than you and casper.

and that led to the discussion of your senior year with steven.

he was thrilled you’d be going to school with casper, since he never once said a single bad thing about you.

and he’s never hit you. well, not in a bad way.

you know.

anyways, right before you went to sleep for the night, your senses went completely haywire for a minute- and then just stopped.

you didn’t know why, and neither did your dads or khonshu.

you assumed it was just another weird thing.

but unknown to you, it wasn’t.

here’s the thing, casper promised to get home safe.

but he never really made it all the way home.

and you had no idea grace would be calling you in the morning asking when he’d be back.

you had no idea that the person that had been essentially stalking you had finally made himself known in the form of abducting casper.

you didn’t know of the troubles that lie ahead.

would you make it out alive? would casper? would your dads?

i guess you won’t know.

not for now at least.

~~~

A/N : did i take forever with the chapter? yes. am i going to tell you what’s going to happen next, even a hint? no. hope you enjoyed and are all doing well, and i’ll see you in the next chapter >:)

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[sasaranomiya]

Koukyuu no Karasu Volume 2 Chapter 4 - The Sweetheart Incense (Part 3)

Ngl this last part kinda messed me up when I read it for the first time...but anyways this is the end of Volume 2! I don’t know when I’ll start on Volume 3 since I have a lot of other translations going on, but hopefully some time soon!

Here’s my Ko-fi if anyone is feeling generous

Previous || Index || Next

With one shoulder exposed, Koushun’s injured arm was being bandaged by Ei Sei. Jusetsu watched them out of the corner of her eye as she gathered the owl feathers.

“It isn’t a serious injury. It’ll heal quickly. I’ve had worse injuries.”

After the treatment was over, Koushun put his sleeve back on and said indifferently. Indeed, she had caught glimpses of old wounds on his body. But he had to be in pain after being injured.

“…I’m sorry. Thank you.”

After saying those few words reticently, Koushun and Ei Sei looked at each other.

Jusetsu silently stuffed the feathers into a sack. She wasn’t sure if she should leave these feathers here or not. She decided to collect them for the time being and keep them in Yamei Palace. Onkei helped her, but Jusetsu continued her work without exchanging much words with him. She felt ashamed of herself for not being able to do anything against Shougetsu, and she didn’t have the energy to speak. If Xingxing hadn’t appeared, she wouldn’t have been able to do anything.

Harara, Shougetsu had called Xingxing.

Was that Xingxing’s real name?

There were many things she didn’t know.

Jusetsu pressed my hand against her stomach. Gyoei’s words echoed in her mind. “A monster will be born from within you.”

Will I become a monster?

“You are already halfway to becoming the Raven. You were given life in this world as yourself, but it is being taken from you without you realizing it. What a horrible thing Koushou had done—”

Did Koushou not think that far? Or did she know that, and still offered up the Raven Consort as a vessel? Did Reijou and the previous Raven Consorts know about this? What about the Winter Minister?

The Raven Consort was imprisoned in the inner palace. Moreover—moreover, even her mind and body didn’t belong to her.

Something crumbled and became lost from within Jusetsu.

She hid herself as a survivor of the Ran clan, her mother was killed, she was chosen as the Raven Consort, and lived her life in the midst of many things over which she had no control, but she still believed that she had to stand on her own two feet and survive. She thought that her own self was the only thing no one could step into and take away from her. With that—not as something she needed to believe in, but as a matter of course—as her core, Jusetsu stood tall.

Is who I am now really me?

How much of me is me and how much is the Raven? Will the Raven take everything away one day? Or had it already done it?

Her vision became blurry.

I can’t bear it, she thought.

“Lady Jusetsu.”

Onkei called out. Jusetsu raised her head.

“Jiujiu and the others will be waiting for you at Yamei Palace. I’m sure you must be feeling chilled from the night air, so I’ll have them prepare a cup of warm tea for you,” Onkei squeezed the mouth of the sack closed, hung it from his sash, and held out his hand toward Jusetsu. “Can you walk, Lady Jusetsu?”

Jusetsu stared at the hand offered to her, and then slowly reached out her hand. Onkei’s hand was warm. Her cold fingertips finally felt warmth. It was a warmth that seemed to seep into her.

Onkei took her hand and stood up. Xingxing had disappeared at some point. It might have returned to Yamei Palace immediately.

Jusetsu, Koushun called, and she turned around to see him walking towards her, searching for something in his pocket.

“What is it, sweets?” Jusetsu asked. It had become a given that anything he was hiding in his pocket was usually sweets.

“No,” It seemed that this time was different. Koushun took one look at what he had pulled out of his pocket and furrowed his brows. He then put it back in his pocket.

“What is that?”

“I’ll give it to you next time.”

“What, you can’t show it to me? Now I’m curious.”

Koushun reluctantly pulled his hand out of his pocket. He took Jusetsu’s hand and placed the object on it. It was a fish-shaped ornament. It was carved out of wood, down to the finest scales, and the tail fin looked like it was about to move at any minute.

“You made it already?”

When she said that she was afraid of losing the glass ornament, Koushun had said that he would make one for her out of wood. That conversation had happened today.

“I can make something like this quickly. I visited Yamei Palace to deliver it to you.”

There, he had run into Jusetsu, who had just left the palace.

“But I was careless. I must have chipped it when I fell down.”

Jusetsu looked closely at the fish and saw that the fish’s dorsal fin was slightly chipped. She thought that it was just the shape. She wouldn’t have noticed if she hadn’t been told about it.

“I’ll make a new one.”

Koushun held out his hand. It seemed that he wanted it back. Jusetsu gazed at the fish and said, “I don’t need a new one.” The fish had a pale red cord tied to it. Jusetsu put it through her sash and tied it. The fish hung from her sash. It swayed every time she moved, resembling a fish jumping.

“It’s better if it’s chipped a little. Otherwise, it would start swimming away.”

“——Is that so?”

Jusetsu swung the fish hanging from her waist with her fingertips. Koushun smiled slightly when he saw that.

“I’m glad you liked it.”

Jusetsu glanced up at him and then looked away. She turned on her heel and walked toward Yamei Palace.

“I did like it. …Thank you.”

Without looking back at Koushun, Jusetsu sped up her pace. Onkei was before her, keeping an eye on their surroundings as they walked. The moon was bright.

The warmth, which was both a heavy chain and a poison that bound Jusetsu, was now pulling on her hand and keeping her from falling.

This might be a mistake, something that broke her promise to Reijou. But even so——.

“Ei Sei.”

On the way back to the inner court, Koushun called to Ei Sei. Ei Sei, who was holding a candle and walking in the front, slipped closer to him. Surrounding them were the eunuchs of the rokuboushi.

“There are a few things that need to be investigated.”

“This is regarding Shougetsu, yes?”

Ei Sei was perceptive. Koushun nodded.

There were a number of questions. Questions from before, such as who was he.

In the first place, how was Shougetsu allowed into the inner palace as a eunuch? Not only that, but how was he hired by a consort’s palace? How did he get travel papers?

“…He has a collaborator.”

His murmur melted into the darkness of the night.

After passing through the gate of Seiu Temple, Koushun headed straight for the rear building. He hadn’t announced his visit ahead of time, so when the acolytes saw him, they rushed out of the building and dropped to their knees. When he asked them if Gyoei was there, he was led to their usual room. Gyoei arrived immediately. It was as if he had been waiting for Koushun.

“I heard you were injured the other day, Your Majesty. How are you feeling?”

“You’re very well-informed. It’s not serious. Just a scratch.”

Gyoei nodded, seemingly relieved by those words and Koushun’s usual demeanor.

“I’m very glad to hear that.”

“You’re relieved?”

“Well, of course.”

“I see.”

Koushun closed his mouth and turned his face towards the latticed window. The sunlight was dazzling, causing him to squint. He had been thinking about how he should broach the topic even before he came here.

“The one who wounded me was a eunuch named Hou Shougetsu. He is a new chi’er.”

Have you heard about that as well, he asked.

Gyoei stared at his face intently. As if trying to guess his true intentions.

“I have.”

“Shougetsu enticed the Magpie Consort, caused the death of a palace lady and brought disorder to the inner palace. Naturally, his origins were investigated in detail. On his travel papers, it was written that Shougetsu is the nephew of a man named Hou, but I know that person doesn’t have a nephew or anything of the sort. In other words, the papers were forged. Who arranged those papers? One more thing. Shougetsu wasn’t a eunuch who the vulture stewards bought from a broker. He was allowed to enter the inner palace based on the recommendation of an official. That was why Jakusou Palace trusted him and employed him. Who was the recommender? The person who did both those things was Shuku Kou, the general secretary of the Ministry of Personnel.”

Koushun stared at Gyoei’s face, but his complexion didn’t change at all.

“You know Shuku Kou very well, I think. He used to be an acolyte here. He was one of the people you trained. Apparently, they all remembered your kindness and still love you dearly. Why did you involve someone like that?”

Only when Koushun said so did Gyoei’s lips quiver. He bit his lip.

“Shuku Kou didn’t confess what you asked him to do until the very end. But there were people who saw and heard that you visited him. Even a secret meeting in the shadows of the night isn’t something that can be concealed.”

“Did you torture him?”

“You made it happen.”

Koushun said quietly, but authoritatively. Gyoei held his tongue.

“Why?” Koushun asked another question. “Why did you send Shougetsu to the inner palace? What is the relationship between you and him?”

He choked on his words and continued talking as though to spit them out.

“Did you do all this knowing that Shougetsu came here to kill Jusetsu?”

Gyoei didn’t avert his gaze. Koushun felt pain, as if he was the one being cross-examined.

“I knew.”

Gyoei answered calmly without looking away.

“I didn’t know about Shougetsu at first. Hou Ichigyou was an old friend of mine. I haven’t seen him for a long time, but I received a letter from him for the first time in a while. He wanted travel papers to be prepared, so I asked Shuku Kou for help. At the time, I thought I was just doing a small favor for an old friend. To my surprise, they came to visit me and asked me to help Shougetsu enter the inner palace as a eunuch. Since there are many people who become eunuchs because they were destitute, such requests weren’t unusual. It is better to have a recommendation, so you would be treated well once you entered the inner palace. However, Shougetsu didn’t seem to be struggling financially, and I didn’t understand why he wanted to become a eunuch. He was a strange man. No, he wasn’t a man. It wasn’t necessary for him to go to a plucking house, as he was neither a man nor a woman. More to the point, he didn’t even seem like a human.”

Gyoei took a breath and moistened his lips with tea.

“Shougetsu answered when I asked him. He said, I want to go to the Raven Consort. When I asked why, he said he had to kill her. I didn’t hear anything more. On top of not being a normal human being, he had some sort of duty to bear. I also asked Shuku Kou to send him to the inner palace.”

“Why?” Koushun’s voice had unusually lost its composure and became agitated. “By doing that, it would be no different than if you had sent an assassin to kill the Raven Consort.”

“That was precisely what I did.”

Koushun was speechless at Gyoei’s response.

“I decided that if Shougetsu wasn’t a normal human, then I mustn’t stop the course of events. Whether she is killed by Shougetsu, or she turns the tables on him, it is not up to me to decide. That is destiny. Even if it kills the Raven Consort—Lady Jusetsu.”

“Are you saying you don’t care what happens to her? Even though she’s so fond of you?”

Jusetsu had visited this place many times. She was listening attentively to Gyoei’s stories about Reijou. Even Gyoei had to have known that.

Gyoei’s eyebrows twitched and his eyes shook. He looked down.

“…Your Majesty, you’re always sympathizing with Lady Jusetsu in that way.”

“What?”

“I have admonished you many times. I have repeatedly told you not to be too close with the Raven Consort. But you didn’t listen to me.”

“That’s—”

“The Raven Consort is a solitary existence. She does not desire anything, she keeps herself away from others, and she spends her life alone in Yamei Palace. Your Majesty, you asked me Why, why, but I would like to ask you the same question. Why did you think I was receiving Lady Jusetsu with kindness? I cannot help but find it strange that you think so.”

Koushun stared at Gyoei in astonishment.

“Lady Jusetsu has a eunuch and palace ladies who serve her. She even has you. Lady Jusetsu is blessed. Unlike you, I don’t pity her. Ever since Your Majesty came here out of concern for her, I have never once thought that way. Lady Jusetsu is surrounded by people. Even the emperor cares about her. Never once did the emperor care for Lady Reijou in that way. None of the emperors before you gave the slightest thought to her. Lady Reijou was alone. She was always alone, all by herself!”

Gyoei’s hoarse and bloody shouts echoed in the room.

“Did anyone save her? Did anyone exert themselves for the sake of Lady Reijou? Why Lady Jusetsu? If only Lady Reijou had an emperor who cared about her—”

Gyoei pounded the table with his fist. The tea cups overturned, and tea spilled onto the floor. The sounds of dripping tea were unusually loud. It sounded like tears falling.

Gyoei’s fist was trembling. Koushun stared at it.

“—She had Jusetsu,” Koushun said. Gyoei looked up.

“Reijou would have had Jusetsu. It was she who taught Jusetsu how to read and write, showed her the way of things, and loved her. Anyone can tell just by looking at Jusetsu how much love and care Reijou poured into her. Jusetsu’s existence was that great to her. Was that not Reijou’s salvation?”

Gyoei looked at Koushun silently.

“That is the girl you tried to kill.”

Koushun’s voice was quiet. Gyoei’s moustache twitched, but no words came out.

Koushun recalled the sarcastic tone of the aloof and easygoing Gyoei, the look on his face when he was caught off-guard, and the crease between his eyebrows when he was playing Go. Jusetsu wasn’t the only one who frequented this place.

For Koushun, the time he spent here were brief moments of relaxation.

They were lost and would never return. Never again.

Koushun stood from his chair.

“You said you wanted to retire. I’ll allow it. Leave this place without a word to anyone.”

He had no intention of publicly punishing Gyoei. At a time when the empress dowager had just died, he didn’t want to cause a stir about another reprehensible scheme.

Gyoei bowed. “I am grateful for your kindness, Your Majesty.”

Koushun left the room without saying anything. He hadn’t known anything about the anger and sadness that Gyoei had hidden in his heart. He couldn’t see any of it. Gyoei sometimes hid his face to avoid having his expression read. He wasn’t aware of its significance. No, he was aware of it, but unconsciously avoided pursuing it deeply.

Many things slipped through the gaps between his fingers, scattering into the darkness. In the end, there would surely be nothing left. It was like a dim and cold shadow was approaching him from behind.

Gyoei left Seiu Temple that same day and, as he had said before, went to live with his younger brother in the castle town. It was several days later that Koushun learned the news that Gyoei had committed suicide.

In a corner of the imperial palace, there was a place called Koshi Palace. It was a private residence of the emperor, but it was small and not very luxurious. It was a sort of a retreat for spending time quietly. A messenger with a palanquin came to Jusetsu to ask her to go there. Of course, it was an invitation from Koushun.

After stepping out of the uncomfortable palanquin, she saw a plaque that read “Koshi Palace” hanging from the tile-roofed gate. She passed through the gate and walked down the stone-paved path to find only one small building. There wasn’t even a garden. The view was good, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of forlornness. The pillars of the palace weren’t painted red, and the wood was left bare. On the edge of the roof, there were decorative tiles of an old man riding a giant turtle, and cast-iron lanterns hanging from the eaves.

When the eunuch opened the doors, a light rustling sound was heard. She wondered where it came from, but then noticed that the copper-plate banners around the room were fluttering and rubbing against each other. It was a strange room. At her feet, she saw the whole surface of the stone floor was inlaid with gold. Connections of circles and lines. They apparently depicted stars. As she walked while gazing at it, she found a couch at the back of the room and Koushun sitting there leisurely.

“What do you want from me?”

That was the first thing that came out of her mouth. Koushun motioned with his hand for her to sit down next to him. There were no other chairs there, so Jusetsu had no choice but to sit down on the edge of the couch. By all rights, no one was allowed to sit next to the emperor, but Koushun kept his promise to treat her as the Winter King whenever they were alone together.

“The Winter Minister has changed. He wants to introduce himself to you, so I told him to come here.”

“Did Gyoei retire?” Jusetsu felt somewhat dejected. He had said for quite a while now that he was going to retire, but she hadn’t expected him to do it before she knew it.

“Yes.” Koushun’s answer was brief.

She wished they had informed her before Gyoei retired, but neither he nor Koushun had any obligation to tell her. However, she felt a little sad.

“He told me his brother and his wife are living in the castle town. Is he living with them?”

“Yes.”

“Then I won’t be able to see him anymore.”

Jusetsu couldn’t leave the imperial palace. Unless Gyoei came here, she would never be able to see him again.

Koushun didn’t say anything, only staring at the stars on the floor.

“Who is this new Winter Minister? Have I met him before?”

“I don’t think so. He has been working in the back of the temple until now. He is the one who has been running Seiu Temple with a scanty budget and staff. He’s still young. I believe he is just over forty.”

Jusetsu learned that he was the person who Gyoei had named as his successor for some time.

“Since he’s the Winter Minister—he knows what the Raven Consort is, does he?”

“Yes.” Koushun’s reply was short.

“…How much do Winter Ministers know?”

Jusetsu suddenly murmured. Until now, she assumed that the secrets known to the Winter Minister and the Raven Consort were the same. However, Gyoei had suggested that there was a monster—Wulian Niangniang—within Jusetsu. That was something she hadn’t known. There were probably more things she didn’t know, but did the Winter Minister know everything?

“Dajia.”

Ei Sei walked into the palace and went before Koushun with quiet, gliding steps.

“The Winter Minister is here,” he announced. A man arrived, escorted by another eunuch. He was a tall, thin man dressed in bluish-black robes and a dark gray futou with a pintail duck’s feather tucked in it. He was a tall, thin man. His cheeks were hollow and pale, and his eyes were piercing. He looked like a sick man.

The man came to Koushun and Jusetsu and knelt down.

“I have just been granted the role of Winter Minister. My name is Tou Ken, and my courtesy name is Senri.”

His voice was low, but unexpectedly amicable and soft. At first glance, he seemed like a high-strung and fussy man, but that surprisingly might not be the case.

“I have always been prone to illness, and I’m not a considerably robust person. However, I want to fulfill my role for the sake of Master Gyoei, who has supported me until this point.”

Senri said with downcast eyes. This softened the sharp impression of his eyes.

“Is Gyoei doing well in retirement?”

Jusetsu asked. Senri looked at Koushun for a moment. He quickly returned his gaze and answered, “Yes. I hear that he’s doing well.”

“I see.”

She wondered if he was playing Go with his younger brother.

“I would have liked to play Go with Gyoei once. I am not a strong player, but I think he’s weaker than Koushun.”

Koushun smiled a somewhat melancholic smile. He, too, seemed to be lonely now that Gyoei had retired.

“If it is Go, then I can play a little as well,” Senri said. “If you’re fine with me as your opponent, I’m always available.”

“You must be strong. You have that sort of face. And so, people like you say, ‘I can play a little.’”

When she frowned, Senri laughed. She was surprised by his unguarded smile. Perhaps he was more cheerful than he seemed.

“Master Gyoei has been researching the Raven Consort for a long time,” Senri said, a faint smile still on his face. “Perhaps you’ve noticed that successive generations of White Smoke…Winter Ministers also didn’t know many things.”

“Many things?”

“For example, the fact that Wulian Niangniang is sealed within the Raven Consort.”

Reflexively, Jusetsu looked at Senri’s face. He nodded lightly.

“The one who succeeds the Winter Minister are given the Soutsuten—the other Soutsuten. The Raven Consort has it as well. We inherit nothing else. Therefore, the successive Winter Ministers only know what is written in the Soutsuten. However, Master Gyoei seemed to have done his own research beyond that. I say ‘seemed,’ because I learned about this from the many notes left behind by him. I haven’t sorted through all of them yet, but Master Gyoei seemed to have been researching very diligently. Apparently, he stopped after the death of the previous Raven Consort…”

Oh, I see.

Jusetsu understood. He must have been doing all this research in order to save Reijou.

But he couldn’t help her. He couldn’t set Reijou free.

“First, I would like to organizing all of Master Gyoei’s findings. After that, I intend to follow in his footsteps and continue his research. I’ve always been good at such things.”

“Would it not be quicker to ask Gyoei himself about his research?”

“He would scold me with, ‘Is this something you have to ask a retired old man to understand’?”

He would say that with plenty of sarcasm, Senri said with a smile. “I would also be outraged about that. I believe this is a task left to me by Master Gyoei.”

Jusetsu could imagine Gyoei’s sarcastic words easily. The smile carved into Senri’s hollow cheeks was a mixture of nostalgia and affection. It was clear that Gyoei and Senri had trusted each other deeply.

“If it would help you in any way, Lady Jusetsu, then I would have done my duty as the Winter Minister who succeeded Master Gyoei.”

Senri said, choosing his words carefully. Jusetsu tilted her head a little. Why would helping her be a fulfillment of his duty?”

“I believe that the Winter Minister was originally supposed to be a helper to the Raven Consort.”

“Really…?”

“At the very least, I want to help you, Lady Jusetsu.”

Jusetsu stared at Senri’s face. Senri was pale and thin and looked like he was about to collapse at any minute, but she felt a strange sense of security with him that made her feel as though she could entrust herself to him. If I had a father, perhaps he would be like this, Jusetsu thought.

With that, Senri bid them farewell and left. The Winter Ministry seemed to be in good hands.

“As expected, Gyoei has a trained a good successor.”

“It seems like it.” Koushun was of few words today. Jusetsu turned to him.

“Does your wound hurt?”

Koushun looked puzzled. “No, why do you ask?”

“You look like it.” She said the same thing she had said to Senri.

Koushun let out a small laugh. “Do I?”

“If you’re tired, you should go back and rest.”

“You’re right,” he said, but made no move to stand up. “…I believe I’ve slept in your bed once before.”

“You did. It caused me a great deal of trouble.”

“I had the most peaceful sleep I ever had at that time. I feel like I had a good dream.”

He said, ignoring the “trouble” part.

“That’s my bed, not yours. I won’t let you use it again.”

“Maybe it would be better if you were with me.”

“I am not your bed.”

“Well, that’s true,” Koushun said, and then stood up. “I’ve said something foolish. Forget it.”

Jusetsu looked up at Koushun’s face.

“You can’t sleep?”

Koushun looked down at her.

“…Somewhat.”

Jusetsu gestured to the spot next to her and pressed him to sit down. It was an imitation of what he did earlier. Koushun obediently sat down again. She took his hand.

“You’re freezing. Even though it’s summer. Are you eating well?”

“I’m eating.”

“Not being able to eat is bad, but it is also unwise to force yourself to eat. It would only put a strain on your stomach. I hope you aren’t only eating cold food because it’s hot. It’s good to eat rice porridge with green onions and ginger. It warms the body. Also, eat some lychees. It improves the circulation of the qi,” Jusetsu said as she rubbed Koushun’s hand. “Also—”

As she was thinking about what he should eat, she sensed Koushun smiling. “What?” she asked.

“It’s nothing… Did you learn that from Reijou as well?”

“From Keishi. She’s the servant at Yamei Palace. Keishi is fastidious about food. When I came to Yamei Palace, I was like a withered branch, so she took care of me.”

She learned the rubbing hand trick from Reijou. Whenever Jusetsu dreamed of her mother’s exposed head and jumped out of bed, Reijou would warm her hands so she would sleep well.

She told him this and said, “When you can’t sleep, have someone rub your hand like this.”

“I see…” Koushun leaned back on the couch and seemed to be relaxing.

“The Magpie Consort has died,” he murmured. Jusetsu stopped her hands and looked up at him. “I didn’t want her to die.”

“That’s quite natural.”

“I’m not simply mourning her. Considering who her father is, she had to live.”

“The Magpie Consort’s father…he is in the cold faction…and the assistant minister of the Palace Secretariat, yes?”

“Yes. He must hold a grudge against me.”

“I—don’t think he would. You had nothing to do with what she did. That blame is misplaced.”

“No, that’s the way it is. If only she hadn’t entered the inner palace, if only I had returned her to her parents’ house earlier. Even if I suppress such reproaches with reason, they will continue to smolder from the bottom of my heart. And the flames of these feelings will eventually lead to a great fire.”

Just as I can’t forgive the empress dowager, he said.

“If it weren’t for my mother and Tei Ran, I don’t know if I would have been fixated on the throne. It was emotion that moved my heart.”

Jusetsu started massaging Koushun’s hand again. His hand was getting warmer, but she knew that this couldn’t warm his heart.

“I’m also disgusted with myself for not being able to simply mourn the Magpie Consort’s death from the bottom of my heart,” Koushun said matter-of-factly, but to Jusetsu, it seemed like a cry from his creaking heart.

“…Burn a silk feather.”

“A silk feather?” he asked back.

“Take a moment to mourn for the Magpie Consort yourself. Only then will you be dedicating yourself to solely grieving for her.”

Koushun stared closely at her face.

“Okay. I’ll do that.”

“I will burn one as well. So that the Magpie Consort will not be lost on her journey across the sea.”

So that Koushun would also not be lost.

This was the first time that Jusetsu prayed for Koushun.

When she returned to Yamei Palace, Jusetsu took out a silk feather from the cupboard, wrote the Magpie Consort’s name on it, and burned it. Watching the pale red bird fly away, Jusetsu thought of Koushun. For the first time, she wondered what she could do for him. It wasn’t to repay Koushun protecting her and getting injured or for offering her help. It was just something she suddenly thought of.

She could no longer see the bird. In the sky that was so blue that it seemed like it would dye your hand azure if you dipped it in, kneaded white clouds formed puffy mountains. The sky itself was dazzlingly bright. Jusetsu, staring at it with squinting eyes, turned back inside the palace. She headed for her cupboard and took out a piece of paper. With the inkstone and brush still out, she placed the paper on the table and sat down. After thinking for a little bit, she picked up the brush.

On that day, Jusetsu sent a letter addressed to a certain government official.

After Koushun took off his outer robe, Ei Sei removed the bandages around his arm. The wound was already closed, and there was no longer pain. However, Ei Sei’s brows were furrowed as he looked at the scar.

“Dajia—”

The scar was only a faint line. It healed rather quickly. However, strangely, a bruise resembling a striped pattern had emerged next to the scar. It wasn’t a bruise from being hit. It was a brown bruise. It looked like owl feathers—.

“It’s nothing unusual.”

Koushun fixed his clothing. In fact, even with the bruise, nothing changed. Besides, the bruise seemed to be fading. It would disappear soon.

“If anything unusual happens, you must let me know.”

Koushun left the room after saying this to Ei Sei, whose worried look didn’t leave his face. He headed for an outer palace from the inner court. He walked through a walkway and came out to a corner of the lotus pond. There was a large palace in front of him, but he stopped without going in there. The buzzing of insects came from here and there, and it was so hot that one would break out into a sweat as soon one stepped out into the sun. Even so, the wind that glided over the pond reached him, and the shaded walkway was cool.

As he gazed at the lotus buds that had already closed, a eunuch announced the arrival of a retainer. He knelt down in front of Koushun and bowed. Koushun had Ei Sei and the other eunuchs withdraw and called out to the retainer.

“Come next to me, Koukei.”

Yes, Koukei stood up and walked to Koushun’s side. Kin Koukei—the Magpie Consort’s father. He was a good-looking man in his fifties. But now, he was care-worn and a shadow of his former self. His hair, which until recently was quite dark for his age, was now gray.

He had resigned from his position of assistant minister and it was decided that he was leaving the imperial court. Officially, the Magpie Consort died of illness and the palace lady was bitten by a wild dog. However, he, the father, wasn’t blamed.

“I can offer no sufficient apologies to you, Your Majesty.”

Koukei was battered by grief. How must it feel for a father to lose his son, his daughter, and then have to apologize to others? It was beyond the scope of Koushun’s imagination.

“There is no need for you to apologize to me. You should mourn your children and take care of your wife.”

“Hah…” Koukei’s expression broke down and he gritted his teeth, as if unable to bear it any longer. Tears welled up in his eyes and overflowed. “My, my apolo…” Unable to speak, he wiped his cheek with a handkerchief.

He was an honest man, trusted by other officials, and did excellent work. It would be a great blow to Koushun to lose him.

“From a young age, they were the closest of siblings, complementing each other…”

Wiping away his tears and regaining his composure, Koukei began to speak haltingly.

“It was my wife who said that they were a little too close. Embarrassingly, I’ve never noticed such things… I discussed with my wife that it would be best to marry Keiyou off before an indiscretion is committed, but I knew that we couldn’t sever their relationship by simply marrying her off into another family. I thought that if she was in the inner palace, they would no longer be able to see each other, and so they would have no choice but to give up on each other, or their feelings would naturally drift apart. It was an exceedingly insolent reason to put her in the inner palace. That was our crime. That is why Keiyou had done what she did. I never…never expected that she would do such a dreadful—”

Koukei clutched his handkerchief. No amount of regret would be enough. Koushun patted his arm lightly, silently telling him not to be too hard on himself. Tears welled up in Koukei’s eyes again, and he hurriedly pressed his handkerchief over them.

“Truly…I couldn’t have been happier if Keiyou was also able to adore a kind person like you, Your Majesty…”

I am in no way kind, Koushun thought. He had been thinking that by letting Keiyou die, he would lose Keiyou and be hated by him.

Though Koukei couldn’t have read his inner thoughts from his expressionless face, he smiled faintly.

“I know you are a kind man, Your Majesty. You burned a silk feather for Keiyou, did you not?”

Koushun was shocked. He had never told anyone about this. The only person who knew that he secretly burned a silk feather would be Ei Sei. And he would never tell anyone about it.

“How—”

“I’ve received a letter from the Raven Consort.”

“From the Raven Consort?”

Now he was even more shocked. Jusetsu sent a letter to Koukei?

“She said that she burned a silk feather so that Keiyou’s soul would not be lost. She said that you also did the same thing, Your Majesty. That was what she wrote. I never expected to receive a letter from the Raven Consort, and I was astonished. I had received a compassionate letter from a being deep in the inner palace, who may or may not exist, who may be a human or a ghost, who to me is like a ghost story… I could keenly feel her condolences for Keiyou in her letter. The Raven Consort is a kind person, isn’t she. And so are you, Your Majesty.”

Koushun was speechless. He never expected Jusetsu to do such a thing. Moreover, this was most likely—for Koushun’s sake.

He had thought it was strange that he didn’t feel any deep-seated resentment from Koukei to him. He wondered if Koukei was good at hiding it or if he had always been like that.

Jusetsu’s letter comforted his heart.

Koushun didn’t know why, but at this moment, he felt the urge to cry.

As the cold, dim shadows were constantly chasing him, he suddenly remembered how to breathe. That was how it felt.

He had always wanted to save Jusetsu. There was also a sense of guilt because he had silently chosen the path of binding that girl to the inner palace. He also knew that what Shougetsu had told her would hurt her even more.

Jusetsu should have been wounded all over. Even if her body wasn’t injured, her heart was probably deeply wounded. So how, Koushun wondered, did she have the time to think carefully about him? Him, of all people. The Summer King who imprisoned the Winter King.

It was only then that Koushun realized that he had underestimated Jusetsu. As he realized his own hubris, his stiffened heart, frightened of the shadows, slowly began to loosen.

He could breathe.

It was salvation. It was the salvation he had been seeking while giving up on the idea that he would ever obtain it.

“Your Majesty,” Koukei said in surprise. “Your Majesty…are you crying for Keiyou’s sake?”

No, that’s not why. Unable to utter a word to clear up the misunderstanding, Koushun simply stood there in silence.

The wind that blew across the surface of the pond lightly caressed the tear that ran down Koushun’s cheek.

Previous || Index || Next

[hebimoonlightwrites]

hello, how are you?, I would like to place an order for paradox live, this is something I was thinking, platonic headcanons for bae with a fem reader who sings beautifully like a mermaid~ but she only sings as a hobby, that would be all, I'm glad to find you blog uvu

Writer's corner: Hi!! (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Thank you so much for having requested! You're my very first request and I'm so happy about it! Here! Hope I've written something you like! Enjoy! ♥

Warnings: none

⋆𝓑𝓐𝓔⋆ 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓪 𝓯𝓮𝓶!𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓲𝓯𝓾𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓪𝓼 𝓱𝓸𝓫𝓫𝔂

⋆Let's just imagine that you're cleaning the café you're working part-time in. There's no one, except for you and your dear broom, which seems to wait for you. It would be the perfect time for listening to music, no? You would open the café in an hour, so you could relax a little bit more until then.

⋆You'd turn the radio on, trying to keep the volume down, since it would be still 9:30 am. You'd take your dear broom and start sweeping around the tables.

⋆Even if the radio's volume would be still low, you'd probably let yourself go, maybe you'd take some dancing steps, closing your eyes and letting all those musical notes wrap you like a warm blanket in winter.

⋆You'd start singing aloud without even realising it. Your voice would sound magically, like that of a mermaid. The echo of the empty café would make your voice more beautiful than how it actually would be without it.

⋆"Uhm… Excuse me? Is it ope…open..?"

It would be around 9:40 am when Allen would show up at the café. We all know that he's used to start his classes at 10:00 am so I headcanon that he'd have breakfast around 9:30/9:40 am.

⋆"Wha-?", Allen wouldn't be able to speak after hearing your beautiful voice echoed in that empty café. What are you? A mermaid? An angel? You aren't human. You can't be a human. That voice you owns is a gift. It must be a gift. But why aren't you working using it? Why aren't you singing? He would wonder.

⋆You'd gasp, realising there's someone watching you but end up already knowing him, since it's BAE's MC Suzaku. You'd turn the radio off and approach him.

⋆"Uhm.. Good morning.. What can I get for you?", you'd ask, trying to behave normally and kinda forget what you were doing.

⋆Allen would stare at you for a moment, opening his eyes wide and trying to convince himself it was all real, that you had that angelic voice, that magnetic voice.

⋆"𝓦𝓸𝔀… 𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓿𝓸𝓲𝓬𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓲𝓯𝓾𝓵.."

⋆I think he would say to himself: “It’s incredible how she can control her own voice without any problem.. She can handle those high notes without any kind of effort! Amazing…!!”

⋆After that I headcanon that he would ask you to join him and maybe sing along with him, 'cause we know he's such a fan of people who actually sing divinely. So maybe you'd end up meeting him as well as other BAE's members and sing all together with them.

⋆Let’s pretend you’re working as a photographer’s assistant and that you’re supposed to wait for a young model to take some picture of. You’re kinda nervous, because it’s going to be the first time you take some pictures of a model all alone. Your manager, who’s also the professional photographer you’re working for, is absent and you have to do everything by yourself.

⋆It’d be pretty hard. Of course you have been a photographer’s assistant for a few weeks, but you’d think that that time isn’t enough to let you take some photos of a model ALONE.

⋆”I hope it’ll be fine..”, you’d sigh, setting everything ready for later.

⋆After some minutes, at around 3:40 pm, a blonde and tall guy would show up. You’d take some seconds but end up recognizing him as a member of BAE. Inside you’d like to scream happy and ask of getting an autograph from him, but actually you’d try to stay professional, as your manager would have already told you, and welcome him, telling him that the photographer is absent and that you’re the one who’s substituting him.

⋆”Your face looks red. Are you sure you’re alright, y/n-san?”, I headcanon he would tease you anyway. He’d realise what you’d think, and maybe also that you’re a fan of him, as well as of other BAE members.

⋆Hajun would surely show up with a suitcase full of clothes to wear during the photo session. He would also look for a table with some cosmetics on it. He can’t let a photographer take a picture of him if he’s not flawless, of course.

⋆The photo session would start calmly, as you’d grab that digital camera and look at Hajun through it. He’d pose elegantly, changing his clothes between each photos, his pink eyes focused on your hesitant movements.. It’s clear: he’d understand that you’re not confident enough yet.

⋆”Of course you look uncertain for being a professional photographer’s assistant, y/n-san.. You’re too clumsy!!”, he’d tease you as you’d almost fall, holding the camera, trying to move to the right to catch Hajun’s profile. We all know that Hajun is such a sadist person and, as such, sometimes he likes humiliating others (even if he cares about Anne and Allen, of course.)

⋆You’d chuckle nervously, trying to hide how his words would have hurt you in deep.

⋆After the session Hajun would ask you if he can use the studio’s bathroom for a quick shower. So he’d let you alone, while you’d work on choosing the best photos.

⋆That’s how you’d start singing, looking at the pictures. Singing was what you used to do only as hobby, enjoying imagining yourself on a stage, surrounded by people who’d love your voice and its many shapes. Its falsetto, its belting, its riffles...

⋆You’d not notice Hajun, who had kept listening to you since he had entered the bathroom. It’s not easy to amaze him, but I headcanon you’d manage to do it with your fantastic sweet but also powerful voice. Hajun himself owns a powerful voice (and we’ve seen it in BAE’s last song,“We are the future”), but...damn! You’re not joking either! Your voice is incredible too and Hajun can’t believe that he’d been rude to you before, saying you’re too clumsy for being a photographer!

⋆”Sorry for interrupting, y/n-san..”, he’d say, stopping you. You’d sorry to him for being loud and, maybe, for bothering (he’d be tired after some hours of posing for photos, no?). He’d just smile kindly.

⋆”You shouldn’t waste your time working here. 𝓞𝓻𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓻𝔂 𝓹𝓮𝓸𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓪𝓵𝔀𝓪𝔂𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝓸𝓻𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓻𝔂 𝓹𝓮𝓸𝓹𝓵𝓮, 𝓷𝓸 𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓱𝓸𝔀 𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓽𝓻𝔂.. It’s true, but... You’ve mistaken; you’re not an ordinary person, y/n-san.”

⋆You’d blush, embarrassed but only for a few seconds, until he’d say coldly:

⋆”Anyway I wanted to ask you if you were so gentle to pass me the shampoo I’ve got into my suitcase.. Thank you”

⋆Imagine that you’re studying at the same International Private University Anne, Hajun and Allen are attending. I headcanon that each building would have a staircase.. Perfect for singing, no? With so much echo that your voice would sound like that of a mermaid singing to a group of pirates.

⋆So one day you’d leave your classroom, after classes, and head towards the staircases. Finally your day has finished and now you can go back home.

⋆You’d reach the staircases and start going down them. You’d notice how echoed your steps are, as you’d look at your smartphone to check the time. You’d like to sing something there.. The staircases seem so magical and the fact that every breath is echoed would make you feel like wanting to sing so bad.

⋆You’d look around and down the stairs, checking if there’s someone else, then you’d start singing a part of your favourite song. It’d be like a beautiful dream.

⋆Too bad you wouldn’t notice Anne who is up that flight of stairs. They would open their eyes wide as you start singing, unable to say anything. Where does that voice come from? The heaven? They’d slowly go down the stairs only to find you, singing beautifully, keeping your eyes closed.

⋆They would open their month in surprise, even blushing because of your beauty. Your soft hair, your pink cheeks and your adorable lips, which are opening and closing during the singing.

⋆After a few seconds you’d see them and gasp, embarrassed. What the hell is wrong with you? Singing in a public building? What did you think would have happened?

⋆”I’m so sorry for interrupting you!!.. I was like called by your voice... Are you a mermaid or something? Do you take singing lesson, dear?”, they’d ask and, after that, if you’re a new emerging singer.

⋆”Actually... I sing as hobby.. I’m too shy for exhibitions...”, you’d answer them as they would look at you still shocked from before. Are you serious? You’re singing as hobby? Aren’t you lying? Anne would wonder, thinking to themselves.

⋆Then I headcanon that both of you would exit the University, planning on going shopping or hanging out together one day. Maybe they would also introduce you to Hajun and Allen, who’d surely kinda fangirl because of how talented you are.

⋆I think Anne would think something like: “Damn, y/n.. She should be a mermaid! No doubt! Her voice is.. I don’t even know how to describe it!”

⋆"Singing is a fundamental part of you, y/n. You should show it more..𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓪𝓵𝔀𝓪𝔂𝓼 𝓫𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯!!"

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[idk-my-aesthetic]

The frustrating thing about insomnia is for some reason everyone thinks it’s like

10pm: *decides to stay up and do random bullshit all night* *sleeps until noon*

And I will admit! Sometimes that is it. Sometimes it is a choice. I’m human sometimes i make choices that upset or are disagreeable to others

But equally likely it’s literally like:

10pm. Do some stuff while it’s quiet.

Midnight: try to sleep. Unable to sleep. Frustrated. You are literally yawning. Why are you not asleep? Why is it so easy for everyone else? Toss and turn until the frustration drives you out of bed

1 am: Go and do something for a little while.

3 am: try to sleep again. Still no sleep. You desperately change positions a dozen times, knowing it won’t matter but hoping that maybe if you turn your arms at the exact right angle it’ll activate a cheat code that will put you to sleep.

4-5 am: feel the sands of time ticking away. The frustration is coming back, not just because you didn’t sleep but also now you know that you’re either going to sleep all day or be exhausted and unfunctional. So not only did you just waste several hours of your life not sleeping you are now going to lose several more. +20 stress and frustration if you have school or job in the morning.

5:30 am: give up and decide to try and pull an all nighter. Go eat breakfast and take meds.

6 am: do something for like an hour. It’s never productive because your brain is fried from exhaustion.

Rest of the day: struggle to stay awake. If you have a class or job in the morning you can maybe get through it on pure adrenaline but you won’t remember any of it. If you have anything later than 10 am you’re in serious danger of missing it because you suddenly passed out at 8:30 and your max volume alarm was insufficient to awaken you from your exhaustion. Even if you make it through everything you need to do that day At some point you will probably take a nap and wake up just in time to do the whole thing again

*good news, if you have nothing today you’ll sleep great! Bad news, you will be called a lazy bastard by your family, and/or genuinely concern them. You’re not sure which is worse.

All in all you end up only sleeping like. 6 hours max sporadically every 24 hrs, and wasting another 6+ hours trying to sleep, plus more time being unable to do anything because you’re too tired

It’s very frustrating!!! And sometimes you can tell it’s going to be one of Those Nights even though you took the sleepy time gummies so you give up on sleeping after 2 hours of trying instead of 6, but then everyone thinks you’re doing it on purpose

Anyway in unrelated news it’s 1:42 in the morning, i already took melatonin hours ago and I cannot sleep