#I do have a list of the ducks' names and which friends named what

[timdrakesstaff]

1/13/2023 "Duck Oasis" 💤

I'm riding on my board under a cold underpass and decide to take a break from being pelted by rain by entering an opening to a storm drain. It's a weird one; the path inside inclines at an impractical degree for the storm drain's runnoff to the underpass, even though it would theoretically continue through a grate to the stream neighboring the underpass' path.

I practically crawl up the inclined entrance due to the low ceiling. I consider using my board but I'm pretty sure that it would hinder me more then help.

After after a few short plateau stops and turns along the way, I come to a gentle oasis hidden beneath the ground. The lack of light source amazes me. How can I even see all this, let alone anything grow? There is a small pond with smaller diversions of river siphoned from it and trees and grass and bushes and life.

It's beautiful.

I stand in full awe for a moment, taking it all in. How could this have grown here? The earth is soft and moist; the air, humid. The whole oaisis couldn't have been bigger than a classroom at my school, comparatively.

I find some rocks to skip across the pond and attempt to line up with the inflowing river so the skipping can progress further into yet another tunnel. It is while I'm skipping that my attention is drawn towards a duck. A duck and way too many ducklings for them to all be hers. I slowly approach the duck and offer chunks of what would've been my lunch. I don't miss the apple too much.

I sit under a tree for a while, looking at the mostly ivy and moss covered wall and what barren ceiling I can even see the through the canopy above.

Soon enough, I drift back awake to discover the mama and horde of dunklings resting beside me. The only thing missing being a gentle breeze.

I take my time to stand up and stretch and breathe life back into myself before making my way to the enterance and storm runnoff. I sit on my board and attempt to slowly roll myself out, but the sharp inclines have other plans. I find my way out a few minutes later and it is still raining and I am still wet. The dull grey of the sky is darker now, an indicator that I really need to get going.

I come back regularly over the next few months, to help mama watch over the ducklings, I always bring enough snacks for them and myself. I even spend my birthday here, two of them. One of them I invite my school friends, and the other day with different ones.

It's not that I don't want them all to meet someday, they just... Have different interests and one my school friends would totally want to... Connect Dots between those interests. It's easier this way.

My school friends name some of the ducks but lose track of which ones they have and have not named. I tell them I'll name the rest on my own.

I don't.

Instead, when my other friends visit, I point out the ones that haven't been named yet. At least all of my friends across the board are equally excited to name ducks with me.

I get two days full of several cakes since neither group knew who was going to bake it, so everyone made their own. Five cakes to go through. Five! Some... Were better than others.

My birthday passes and I still visit, but there's usually less and less in the duck family when I come by. They rotate out their days, I think, because I still see them all in the oasis on their own time.

I have lots of pictures taken from in here, developed at school and home—whichever was more available. Schoolmates ask where the hell I went to get these pictures, seeing as our city isn't exactly a nature preserve—although, some want it to be... I don't tell.

I experiment with one of my favorite techniques: Double exposure. I have pictures from the city layered with this oasis. In one of the devloped pieces, there's a girl from the city poking a can with her closed umbrella. It's raining but she doesn't care, she's soaked anyways from a car that speeds into a background that bleeds neon signs into oasis foliage. If I had known exactly which pictures would get the exposure, I would have shifted the nature scene shot a couple feet to the right, so the girl would have appeared to be on an exposed paver.

Another photo features a long trail of ducks bobbing down a slow flowing river-turned-asphalt. And another, I posed and kept track of, features a double layered shot of me with both of my friend groups, as if we were all together. It's my favorite one. I have copies of the individual shots too, of course, I shared them with my friends. I debated and sticking the group shot to the wall, but knew when they all visited—they visit individually sometimes, and with me—they would see it plastered on the wall.

Autumn comes and I seek refuge from inpending exams and cold here. It's always a pleasant temperature somehow, I had been worried about the season changes, but it doesn't seem to change in here. The storm drain oasis is its own refuge from the world. But not from time. The plants grown and spread, and the ducks come and go as they please—I am especially sad when they leave for winter. I think I might have expected they'd stay...

I think my favorite time to come is when it rains. It feels like it did that first day, so many months ago.

[osamiiya]

Poolside Confessions - Atsumu x Reader

Summary: Atsumu’s so concerned about your love life and who you like, he doesn’t consider that it might be him.

Warnings: None! Like one (1) ‘damn’

a/n: i’m so tired from my summer job (edit: forgot to add the summary i’m so sleepy)

———

“Stop! You’ll catch a cold!”

Atsumus voice grows louder as you stop, chest heaving with effort.

He had taken you swimming, a normal hang out instance between the two of you.

And, as time, as it usually does, passed and the sun started to set, the two of you abandon racing and splashing each other in favor of sitting at the ledge of the pool, watching the sun set. The atmosphere is perfect for conversation as the two of you swing your feet in the pool, shivering slightly as the summer night winds begin to pick up.

As friends (although you had hoped for more), it was a common occurrence for him to grill you about who you liked, or which of your friends liked each other. It’s in his nature to be curious about people’s love lives. Even if people (Aran) don’t want to tell him, he’ll figure it out eventually.

You’re used to it by now, but after the fluttering feeling when Atsumu landed a good set happened when he smiled, then when spoke, then when he was… him, increased, you had grown to dread it.

It started off like it usually did:

“Do you have a crush right now?”

“I think so.”

That then led to a smile a smidge more mischievous and evil than it had been before.

“Do I know him?”

“Yeah.”

At this point, Atsumu usually hums in acknowledgment and continues onto whatever mundane topic that comes to head. But, this time, he pushed.

“Is he in our class?”

“Do you know people outside of our class?”

He paused in contemplative thought before laughing and listing those that he knew. You thought it ended there.

“Is it Suna?”

“Ew.”

He laughed so hard he started coughing at that one.

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“Absolutely not.”

His pleads get you to a point where you swear your eye is twitching and your impulse control plummets.

And you kiss him.

You really grab his face and plant one right onto his unsuspecting lips.

There’s a moment of pause, like the world has stopped turning, or someone clicked “pause” on the remote control of life.

And then you run.

You almost trip over your flip-flops, but you don’t. You do, however, forget your towel and cover-up at the pool, running down the street outside the public pool in nothing but flip flops and a bathing suit.

It takes Atsumu a minute, but with his volleyball athleticism, he’s able to catch up to you, arms holding all of the belongings the two of you left at the pool, bag flailing helplessly behind him.

“Wait!”

His voice echos down the empty streets, and your lungs burn with exertion.

“Stop! You’ll catch a cold!”

His voice is stern enough to make you skid to a halt, panting slightly as you take breaths of air.

It takes a couple seconds, but soon Atsumu is caught up, breathless, but he recovers quickly.

“Stupid.” He chastises as you shiver, the wind and night air settling into your skin.

He wraps a dry towel around you like a cape, holding it tight around you until you get the message and hold it yourself.

It’s quiet as he rearranges the things he brought to the pool into his bag, and you take the time to study his expressions and look away. The result is an awkward back and forth between your own feet and Atsumu’s face.

It’s like hours has gone by when it’s only been seconds before Atsumu stands and looks you in the eye.

“Why did you run?”

Your answer is nothing but a mumble, and your eyes decide that the ant crawling on the sidewalk is a better place to look than Atsumu.

He leans in, ducking so that his face fills your vision, and he stays there for a moment, simply looking. Atsumu studies your face, looking from your eyes to your nose, taking in its slope, to your lips. It’s as if they’re the most interesting thing to him as he studies them intensely, as if deciding what he would name the color of your lips.

“What are you doing?” Your voice is a whisper, and your breath fans across his lips.

His eyes snap to yours at your words, and a hand comes up to cup your cheek. Atsumu’s palm is warm and slightly calloused. And, it shakes slightly as his thumb brushes your cheekbone with the most care he’s ever used with his hands.

“Thinking of doing something stupid.”

Atsumu’s eyes then drop to your lips, as if he’s already gotten addicted to simply the proximity to them.

His hand shifts so his thumb can brush over your bottom lip gently. It’s slow, and you’re sure he can feel every crack, ridge, and texture your lips hold.

He leans in slightly, hand shifting to hold your jaw as his lips hover over yours.

His voice comes out in a hoarse whisper, as if he’s Atlas, and your face is his world.

“You’re so damn beautiful.” He chokes out before his eyes fully shut and he presses chapped lips to yours.

It’s a small thing, but softer and gentler than the kiss you had given him, what seems like almost decades ago.

He pulls away, but his eyes stay half lidded and trained on your lips. His hand doesn’t dare to move.

“The sun set.”

You risk a glance to the side, past Atsumu’s head, and sure enough, inky black sky and bright stars greet you.

The nod you give him has Atsumu leaning in again, capturing your lips in his. It’s warm in his grasp, and his other hand comes up to rest on your waist.

When you pull away, Atsumu chases the feeling of your lips slightly before opening his eyes.

“Please tell me that I’m the one you like.”

“That much should’ve been obvious right now.” You snort, leaning into his touch.

His smile sends butterflies into your stomach, and he licks his bottom lip slightly before cocking his head slightly to the left.

“Let’s get you home.”

[raven-dor]

you and i

in which steve and his best friend since 4th grade graduate

PAIRING: steve harrington x reader

WARNINGS: given last name, established relationship, like one swear word, fluff

WORD COUNT: 2,284

AN: 100 followers!! Thank you all so much; I literally could not have done this without you!! Here's a little Steve Imagine I wrote a while ago!! I hope you enjoy it, and here's to 100 more!!

pt.2

"Steve! Hurry up! I can't be late!"

Y/N sat on Steve's bed, waiting impatiently for him to finish his hair. She knew that his literal hours of styling would inevitably get damaged underneath the hideous caps they had to wear, but Steve still insisted.

So there they were, ten minutes before they had to be at the school, and Steve was still doing his hair.

"Jeez! Relax Y/N/N. We still have-" He looked at his clock. "Shit."

Y/N walked into the bathroom and crossed her arms, smirking. "Yeah. Shit."

He turned around and grinned. "Well, well, well. Don't you look like Little Miss Valedictorian."

She smiled shyly at him for a moment. Her white dress peeked out from beneath her dark green robe, which was covered with tassels, each one another achievement that Steve had proudly watched her earn. National Honor Society, Student Government, Music Honors. The list goes on and on.

Y/N scrunched her eyebrows, laughing at her best friend. "You're an odd duck, Harrington."

"That's why you love me."

She glared at him, tapping her wrist, even though she didn't have a watch. "You done?"

He shoved his comb in his drawer, and turned back around, walking past her quickly. "Let's go!"

Y/N grabbed her shoes and cap and followed after her best friend. Mrs.Harrington beamed, and Y/N tried to pretend that the older woman was always this happy for her son.

She couldn't remember the last time she had seen Mrs. Harrington in person; it must have been almost five years ago.

"Look at you two," she walked up to Steve and pinched his cheeks. "I remember when you first started kindergarten."

Steve whined, pulling away. "Mom!"

His mother rolled her eyes. "Stand up straight, and try to look presentable. I want to take a photo."

Steve groaned, and Y/N put her hand on his shoulder, whispering in his ear teasingly. "Do what your mother says, Steven."

He pushed her away, sticking his tongue out.

Y/N stood aside as Mrs.Harrington took several polaroids of her son. She looked at Y/N, ushering her to her son's side. "Get over here."

"Yes ma'am."

She shuffled beside Steve and leaned in.

"Say cheese!"

"Cheese!"

Steve looked down at the last moment, Y/N completely oblivious to the fact that he was looking at her. She was honestly focused on trying not to look like a total disaster.

"Okay, one more, and then you can go."

Steve put his arm around her shoulders, leaning his head on hers.

"Say cheese one more time!"

Steve smirked. "Cheese one more time!"

The King of Hawkins High clapped his hands and grabbed his car keys, pulling Y/N along with him. "See you, Mom!"

"Bye, darling! Bye, Steve!"

Y/N giggled as she got into the passenger's seat. "I'm darling."

"You're a twerp is what you are. Now buckle up. You are not going to be late." He had a weird glint in his eyes. "Not if I can help it."

"It really doesn't matter that much!" But Steve ignored her, going fifteen over the speed limit immediately after pulling out of his driveway.

Thank God for Steve's car. They made it just barely, and Y/N and Steve pushed their way to the front of the line. "Excuse us!"

Steve pushed through. "Move you, shitheads!" Steve shoved another one of his annoying ass peers and then came face to face with horror itself. "Mrs. Click."

"Mr. Harrington." She looked slightly less dismal as she turned to Y/N. "Ms. Wilkins."

She smiled guiltily. "Mrs. Click. We're here."

"So I can see." She handed them two index cards. "Fill out your names phonetically so the announcers don't pronounce them wrong." She walked slightly down the line before turning back around. "Congratulations, you two." She pursed her lips, and they both could have sworn she was smiling. "You weren't the worst students I ever had."

Steve shivered and looked at Y/N. "On that bright side we don't ever have to take a class with her again." He grinned. "Can I borrow your pen?"

She dropped it in his palm and turned to the front, straightening her posture and taking deep breaths. She ran through her speech in her head, how she would smile, how- Pomp and Circumstance began. She clenched her fist, and Steve grabbed her hand, rubbing the back, and slowly her fist fell open. Steve straightened his cap while simultaneously holding her hand tightly, kissing the back. "We got this, Y/N/N."

The walking across the field was fast enough, but the time from that and to her speech felt like an eternity. "And now, our class Valedictorian, Y/N Wilkins."

Steve yelled at the top of his lungs, the crowd giving a polite clapping volume. She could hear two other voices screaming at the top of their lungs and knew exactly who they were. She stood up and walked calmly to the stage. She shook the hand of their principal and took a deep breath, looking down at Steve, who was staring up at her proudly.

"Welcome friends, parents, loved ones, and staff to the graduation of the Class of 1985." There were cheers from the students. "We couldn't have made it here without you." She took a breath. "Hawkins High has been for us all, the best or worst time of our lives." Chuckles echoed throughout the student body. "But even then, our lives have been changed. We've grown, learned, and made lifelong friends. We've had relationships and friendships develop and crumble within minutes."

She smiled. "And for most of my peers, Hawkins has been their home for their whole lives. They've known each other since pre-k, and many interactions you observe show you. But I moved to Hawkins in fourth grade. I used to live in New York City. I loved it there, it was like a giant playground. But after my father passed away, my mother and aunt decided to move back to their hometown, Hawkins Indiana. I have to say, I was upset at first. Who wouldn't be? Being ripped from what you've known your whole life is difficult. But as soon as I sat down at my table in Mrs.Davidson's fourth-grade class, I instantly felt better. I'm sure many of you are very confused right now. Let me set the tone." Y/N laughed. "It's 1976, and this classroom is bustling with noise. Mrs. Davidson is trying to settle her class down, except for two. A girl who was staring sadly down at her desk, and a boy who threw his hand out, waiting for her to shake it. Steve Harrington-" The crowd murmured, some yelling praise for the King of Hawkins.

"Held out his hand, and after that, he never left me alone." Steve scoffed but kept smiling at the stage. "After eight years of school together, he has remained one of my best friends. He's helped me through many of my life's problems. Tests, driving lessons, my mothers..." Her eyes welled up. "Disappearance, and most recently, college." Steve knew what else she wanted to add to this list. Fighting against the Upside Down had made them closer than ever if that was even possible.

"He has helped me more than he could ever know. He's made me braver, faster, in the wittiest sense, and happier. The only thing he hasn't improved is my humor." The crowd laughed. "Sorry, Steve, but I have superior taste in comedy. In my opinion, Steve Harrington is the best example of Hawkins. He's kind, funny, and empathetic. He exemplifies the very best this town has to offer." She smiled at Steve, putting a hand over her heart. "I don't know if I've been changed for the better, but because I met you, I've definitely been changed for good." Steve grinned brightly up at the stage. "Alright, I'm almost done. I want to thank my family. Aunt Claudia, thank you for treating me like one of your own, even when I don't like it. Dustin, my favorite middle schooler. Also my cousin. You are the smartest person I know, and the best confidant." Y/N took a deep breath and smiled lightly, glancing out at the field full of her old classmates, teachers, and friends. "Thank you for your hospitality, Hawkins. You will forever be my home."

They'd finally graduated. Y/N pushed her way through the crowd, Steve holding onto her arm for dear life.

"Dusty!"

She grabbed Dustin and hugged him tightly.

"Y/N/N! I can't breathe."

She let go. "Sorry, bud."

Dustin walked up to Steve and held out his hand. Steve smirked, and then she saw the weirdest shit she had ever seen.

Their handshake.

"What the hell?"

Y/N turned around, fully prepared to scold someone. "Oh hey, guys."

Max, Mike, and Lucas stood behind her.

"Nice speech."

Y/N laughed. "Thanks, Wheeler."

"Congrats, Y/N."

"Thank you, Max."

"You were very cheesy, Y/N/N."

She rolled her eyes lovingly, running up to them with open arms. "Thank you, Lucas." Mike squirmed, Max laughing at him. He yelled out. "Y/N/N, let us go!"

She huffed and let go begrudgingly. "I love you too, Micheal."

Steve cleared his throat, and Y/N turned around. He smiled and put his arm around her shoulders. "Let's get out of here."

"Already ahead of you."

She slipped out of his hold (and her heels) and smiled. "Race ya!"

She ran as fast as she could, Steve catching up to her in no time. Dustin groaned, and Max laughed at her friend's annoyance. "What's wrong, Dusty? Mad that your cousin is falling in love?"

Dusty crossed his arms. "Not at all. She's been in love. I'm just mad that they are both so oblivious."

Max turned back, smiling at the running teenagers. "I bet they're gonna get together this summer." Dustin nodded in agreement.

Lucas and Mike squinted their eyes and looked at their friends like they had three heads.

"They've been doing this for two years..."

Lucas finished his sentence for him. "So who's to say they won't keep doing it?"

Max stared at her boyfriend. "Because I'm not letting them. I'm sick of it, and I've only been here for a year."

Dustin nodded. "Imagine knowing both of them for basically your whole life."

The stars twinkled above the pair as they reminisced over the funniest memories of their times at school. She tried to breathe; she'd laughed so much that her stomach was starting to hurt. "Remember when- when Tommy slipped and fell into Joan's puke?"

Steve started laughing hysterically, the memory evoking a childlike joy he hadn't felt in a while. "And then—then Carol tried to help him, and slipped, pulling him out?"

She took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Staring up, she became entranced by the night sky.  "The stars are really pretty tonight."

Steve smiled at the way her eyes lit up. "They are." He lay beside her, eyes fixed on the moon. "We haven't done this in a while."

Y/N nodded, leaning her head on Steve's shoulder. She didn't want to ruin this moment, but if she didn't tell him now, she'd never tell him.

"I need to tell you something. Something important."

His heart stopped. Was she- No, she wouldn't. He had to be the first to, and besides, he didn't even know if she liked him. He kept his eyes on the sky, too afraid to look at his best friend. "Tell me something."

"I-" Y/N sat up. She decided to look down at her feet so that she wouldn't look at his distracting chocolate eyes and actually get to the point. "I got into NYU."

His heart stuttered and then began pacing normally. He sat up beside her, grinning. "You did?"

She nodded, also grinning. "I did."

"You did!" He stood up, pulling her alongside him. "NYU! That's your dream school, Y/N/N!" He hugged her. "I'm so proud of you."

She sighed, overwhelmed with the smell of his shirt. "I'm really excited! I just..." She let go, still hugging Steve loosely around his waist. "I didn't tell you when I found out because..."

"Because?"

"I was scared of how you'd react."

He scrunched his eyebrows. "Why would you be scared?"

She broke herself out of his embrace and started pacing around the roof. "I don't know. I guess I was afraid that you'd feel like I was leaving you, and I didn't want to make you..."

He interrupted. "You didn't want to make me feel bad, is that it?"

Y/N nodded slowly, and Steve rolled his eyes, grabbing her hand and pulling her to him. "You would never make me feel bad. You deserve this. And you're going to do amazing."

She smiled, burying her face into his chest. "Thank you."

He laughed. "Besides, I'll be fine. I got an interview with an ice cream shop that's opening up in the mall, and their starting pay is 8 dollars an hour."

She looked up. "Are you kidding me? Holy shit Harrington!" It was her turn to jump around, hugging him. "That's awesome! Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

He rolled his eyes. "Well, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Touche."

He sat down, and they got comfortable again, staying close underneath their shared blanket. For warmth purposes, of course. Steve sighed, leaning his head on hers.

"You don't need to worry over little old me. I'll be just fine."

She hummed and closed her eyes. "It's my job, Harrington."

She felt like she was in fourth grade again.

[inkblot22]

Truss

Woohoo Malleus woohoo! I'm making the trigger list a bit bigger because I keep thinking about how people will totally skip reading it if it's too small and then blame the writer for their own mistake. That shit is clown behavior but I don't want to be held responsible for someone else's case of stupid, so sorry to those of you who think this looks clunky. Line divider found here: @/cafekitsune. This is also a fic that is wildly self-indulgent, in that I mean that while writing I visualized my own physical form and quirks.

That being said, this fic is written with afab (assigned female at birth) readers in mind. No pronouns other than you are used for the reader, but the reader does possess a womb. Reader's chest is not described in the least, just the lower bits, and even then it's not at length. Malleus also refers to the reader as "beauty," but masculine people can be beautiful too so idk but here's a warning anyways.

This fic is DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT. TW for noncon, fae interaction rules used for said noncon, slight bullying if you squint, one (1) mention of blood (I'm beginning to think I have a problem.) Stay safe while reading. Possible OOC Malleus, I haven't read any of book 7 and if you spoil it I'll block you temporarily.

This is absolutely not your fault, and you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. It’s awful. Crewel was for sure his namesake, because this whole thing was a steaming pile of-

Alright, from the top, just to organize your thoughts: you are the only non-magic student in a school of mages. The teachers are mages. Your best friend/roommate/monster friend is a mage. The plants here can do magic, but you? No. Thanks homeworld. Love the gift of nothing.

Thus, the faculty have seemingly created a game of “how to piss off and challenge the magicless student,” in which they give you various tasks to just make you lose sleep. Vargas had you running laps until your legs felt like jelly, doing pushups until your shoulders started sounding like glowsticks. Trein had you learning completely off the wall trivia, such as what type of fabric the Queen of Heart’s favorite bathrobe was made of and why it made her more powerful. That’s nothing, it’s easy because you apparently have so much free time in their eyes. But Crewel? Fuck that man. 

When you got the assignment, it sounded fun and exciting. He gave you seeds for a fast-growing rose thing. Honestly you weren’t paying attention to the name of it, but you retained what you needed to know. The plant only grew in moonlight, so you needed to cover it before you went inside at night. It needed a minimum of two hours of moonlight to grow per night. If the basket was overturned and it was exposed to the sun, then the plants would die. Moderate watering, no fertilizer, the usual.

Once the plants bloomed, you were supposed to take the flowers and make some kind of glamour potion, so here you are, failing at doing so. You only had four flowers, and you’re down to the last one. You wasted three tries and you still have no idea what the hell you’re doing wrong and it’s due next alchemy class and you’re breaking curfew on top of all of it. You glare into your cauldron with your latest failed attempt and hunker down to shoulder against the side so you can dump it out and try again. 

“Oh, it’s you.”

The voice makes you jump out of your skin. You turn around and you almost want to cry tears of joy, because if anyone can help you, it’s him.

“When I saw a little head duck down, I thought that something strange was happening. A crime, perhaps.” Malleus smiles, and it’s not a kind smile, but you’ll take anything remotely positive at this point, “What are you doing on the floor, child of man?”

“Oh, I have to empty the cauldron.” You puff out, still trying to throw your weight to push the cauldron. You did it twice earlier, so this must be the effects of mental and physical fatigue.

“Oh, that’s right. Allow me.” Rather than waving a hand or anything, Malleus strolls on over and uncrosses his arms, taking one hand and pressing his fingertips against the lip of the cauldron. The whole damn thing tips, the failed mixture pouring out into the nearby drain. With the same ease, he tilts it back and turns to you.

When he looks at you, it’s… weird. You know he’s lizard-like, as dragons evidently are, but even Sebek’s eyes aren’t this jarring. They aren’t soulless or cold or unfeeling, but it feels like he is looking through you. His emotions don’t reflect in his eyes properly. That’s what it feels like. They reflect, but it’s wrong. Fractured. His lips quirk into a smile and you blink.

“Uh… wait, what are you doing out here, Tsunotaro?” You ask, turning to gather more materials, following the transcript of your recording from class.

His smile grows, “Just on a walk. Will you tell me what you’re trying to make?”

“Uh, yeah. This glamour potion? I don’t know. Remember how I was growing those flowers?”

“Of course. And what happened to the rest?”

“I… uh… I messed up the other potions. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.”

“No?”

“No. Do… do you think you could maybe… help me?”

“Of course.” Malleus plucks the flower up, twirling it thoughtfully, “Why don’t you gather the other ingredients?”

That was simple enough. Petals from your tediously grown blooms, some kind of floral oil with tiny white flowers inked on the label, a ball of clay no bigger than a pea, something that really resembled a severed finger, something that was hopefully just someone’s baby tooth, a handful of crystals in a rainbow of colors, and water. Lots of water. Malleus watches as you put all your ingredients on the nearby table and hums thoughtfully before dimming the lights and turning back to you.

“And where did you hear that you needed these things?” He asks. It’s not something that he says with any indication that you’re right or wrong. The tone is bland but the words say enough. 

He has essentially told you before that he believes you inept, a babe in the woods when it comes to this sort of thing, but it doesn’t stop you from looking as hurt as you feel, “The headmage visited class and gave me some pointers?”

“You personally or the entire class? I don’t personally recall concocting anything like this when I was in your grade.” He says.

You suppose you’re grateful that he’s so blunt, but his flat tone makes the sting of your failure that much sharper. You thought he’d be nicer, since you two are sort of friends, and Lilia has told you that Malleus is fond of you, but it also makes just as much sense for him to refrain from easing up in his flatness because he supposedly thinks so much of you. He thinks you’re an idiot, but he’s not willing to treat you as such.

“The whole class. And no one else in my grade is doing this.” You mutter, staring at your assortment of items on the table.

He approaches the table and plucks up the beaker of water, twisting it in his hand, “Did you distill this?”

“What?”

“Tap water often has various minerals in it. If you haven’t been using distilled water, you’ve been adding an extra ingredient. Typically, most potions are much more forgiving and you can use tap water with little issue, but this particular potion is known to be disagreeable.” He murmurs, crossing the room with your beaker of water and setting it up to distill with a practiced ease. “That’s why it’s typically saved for fourth year students’ aptitude testing.”

The revelation hit you like a ton of bricks. You’d like to protest but it unfortunately makes sense. Malleus looks over at you, somewhat blandly, then turns around to face you, looking half concerned.

You answer his question before he can ask, “I didn’t… know that. I guess it’s my fault for being from a different world…”

His lips twitch into a smile, and for a moment you can see amusement in his eyes, fractured with the underlying coldness, “Oh, it isn’t. It may be your fault for failing to ask questions, but having someone who is unused to this type of work take on an advanced project is cruel.”

“You think so?” You ask, voice lilting with hope.

“Of course I do. Why you’re expected to make a potion of this caliber is beyond me.” Malleus states blankly.

“Uh, yeah. I- I don’t know either. But thank you for helping me!”

His expression flinches. It lasts for less than a second before it smooths into an odd grin. You’re not quite sure what that means, but you’re too happy to stop and think about it. The water finishes distilling and you carefully begin crafting, using the tips Malleus occasionally mumbles towards you. Don’t put that ingredient in yet, stir clockwise, you need to grind that up with the oil, don’t rush you have time, et cetera, et cetera, and then you have a gorgeous violet mixture, glimmering with a pearlescent golden sheen.

Your jaw drops. Somehow the few ingredients you threw together is enough to fill several bottles. Malleus is making a smug face as you rush to the shelves of empty bottles and choose several fluted bottles, quickly using a ladle to deposit the final, successful potion into the bottles. You’re so giddy with your success that you hardly notice as Malleus walks towards the door and locks it. But only hardly.

“What was that for?” You ask, not actually caring. You’re too happy to be worried.

“Oh, we’ll need privacy.” He responds.

That part confuses you enough into caring. You turn around from where you’ve safely wrapped the bottles and slipped them into your bag and shoot Malleus a frown, “Privacy? For what?”

Malleus doesn’t say anything. He walks over to the table and you feel your body stand up, void of your control, and stagger over to stand in front of him. If you were concerned before, you’re frightened now. Malleus looks down at you with his strange gaze and folds his arms.

“Wh-what’s happening?! Why can’t I move?”

“You really don’t know?” He asks. Something about his tone sounds mocking, but you’re certain he doesn’t mean it to be. It’s his version of sarcasm, he’s spoken to you like this before.

Your body hops up on the table, taking a seat, and Malleus turns to stand before you, looking down at you with a soft smile. You shift your hips- what the fuck is going on- and Malleus very gently hooks his hands in the pants of your dorm uniform.

Your dorm uniform is legit whatever the hell you want it to be, so it would change on the daily. Today it was a pair of jeans and a hooded jacket. He kneels to remove your shoes and stands back up, leaning close as he tilts your chin up. His breath fans over your lips.

“You didn’t tell me that you were so lovely beneath your clothes.” His hand on your chin shifted to your cheek, and his other hand laid flat on the table. “And… your smell is much stronger. Are you aroused?”

“You can’t just ask me that! I don’t know what you did but you’ve got to let me go.”

“I didn’t do anything. This is your doing.” He retorts, pecking your lips very chastely. 

“What are you talking about?” When he didn’t respond, instead pressing the tips of his hand that was on the table against your exposed sex, your heart jumps but your body doesn’t move. You can’t, “Don’t do that!”

“Lilia informed me that making someone climax is similar to binding someone to you.” He mumbles, kissing you again as his fingers slowly slip inside. “It makes them fall in love with you. Isn’t that the most binding contract of all?”

You don’t know why he isn’t listening, but even less than that, you don’t know why he thought you could handle two fingers, much larger than your own, penetrating you. You squeal, but your body is incapable of tensing. Malleus pulls back, looking at you in a soft confusion.

“What’s the matter with you?”

“With me? What’s wrong with you? That’s too many- it’s uncomfortable!”

He blinks at you and withdraws a finger, which feels much better. You sigh. If you’re going to be forced to do this, you may as well not get hurt in the process. You close your eyes and Malleus hums.

“Is this better? You’ll have to forgive me. I haven’t had a dalliance with a human before.”

“I- I don’t think I’ll be able to… to forgive you for this.”

“No?” You can hear his smirk and the squelching noise as he pumps his finger gets louder. He slips the second finger in again and the burn isn’t so bad as last time, “Well, maybe you can decide that for certain after the wedding.”

“The wedd-” You have to bite your tongue to keep from moaning. Your body leans back, laying on the table, and your gentle assailant curls his fingers, leaning forward to mouth at your neck, “There’s not gonna be a motherfucking wedding. You’re-”

You can hear his horn scraping against the table, “Hmm. I didn’t think you were so entitled. You’re squeezing around my fingers. Are you close?”

“No!” You’re a liar. A ragged gasp leaves your throat and you feel the drop in the pit of your stomach, the burst of euphoria traveling up your spine as his thumb presses against your clit.

Malleus laughs, then leans up off of you. The sound of clothing hitting the ground is the first and only warning you get, but you can’t move, so it might as well have been silent. You feel something on your stomach, coming up about a half inch below your belly button. It’s… almost cool to the touch. You would think it would be warmer, but it’s not. Your eyes round as you stare at the ceiling, and Malleus’s face leans into view, his eyes boring into yours as though he’s reading your thoughts.

“You’re very warm. I’ve always thought this. You must be boiling inside.”

“I- what?”

He doesn’t respond, leaning back up. You feel the velvety head of his cock press against your entrance and as much as you want to jolt away, you can’t move your body. You can’t even look down to see what he’s doing. Your lashes flutter as the stretch sets in, the pressure worse than his two fingers. It burns, especially along the bottom, where his weight lays heavy thanks to gravity. You’re capable of wincing and letting out a whine, but nothing else.

“H-hey, that- that hurts.” You babble.

“Does it? You are squeezing me like a vice. I’ll stay still for a moment so you can relax some. Let me know when it stops hurting.” It’s very peculiar. Although he speaks with an animated tone, his voice is often detached. You would think he’d have more emotion since he’s inside of you.

You blink rapidly and decide that now is as good a time as any to ask, “What the hell is happening?”

“Must you tease me so?” He responds, his voice tense.

“What? I’m not teasing you. I can’t move!”

“Of course you can’t. You only just bound yourself to my will.”

“I what?” You shout.

“What, did you think I enslaved you? I could have, when we first met. You’re too free, giving people your name, thanking them, taking gifts freely… it drives me mad.” You feel a flash of heat, something warm rolling against your skin, like standing too close to a gas stove, “And now I find that you didn’t even know? I didn’t think you were such a fool.”

“That’s just called being polite!” You protest. “Oh my god-”

“I suppose I can’t blame you, really. Relax, lest I harm you.” He murmurs, rolling his hips further as though he can slide in deeper. 

You squeak, “N-no, that’s-”

“Too much, yes. Tell me, in your world, do faefolk exist?”

“I- I mean, if they do, most people don’t believe in them.” The oddity of the situation felt like a blanket. Having a semi-conversation while your friend- not after this- used you as a dick holster. It was almost comforting. “I don’t- I don’t understand.”

His voice was deeper than normal, an underlying rasp to his voice, as though it was coming from somewhere deep in his throat, “I will explain. I’ll tell you anything you’d like to know. But after I explain, I will begin to move.”

“H-hey, no-”

His voice sounded choked, half strangled as he stifled a groan, “I apologize for not being clear earlier. Among the fae, verbal contracts are common and binding. You do not give someone your name. You wonder why I never directly gave you mine? It is a way to bind someone to your will. You do not accept gifts. Invitations are fine, but a gift is a sign that you owe someone something. My help- a boon- is a gift. Typically it is repaid with another kind turn. And, most importantly, you do not thank someone without the sufficient power to break their hold.” 

You felt him draw back, that wave of heat rolling over you again, and then he slammed forward. The slick noise and dull smack were muffled by your squeal, his cockhead punching your cervix like it stole from him.

“Foolish little thing. I suppose it makes you cute.” He sneers, and your body sits up, arms wrapping around his shoulders.

The angle makes his motion a bit less painful. He’s no longer bumping against your cervix, thank the Seven, but the stretch remains. Your eyes flinch shut and Malleus tilts your chin up to kiss you again.

“St-stop- stop!” You whimper, “You’re hurting me!”

“If you would relax, beauty, that would not be a problem.” His chuckle is dark, the squelching from your coupling making a wicked duet that makes you feel dizzy, “And you said it to me so easily as well. Thank me again.”

“Wh-” One of his hands slipped under your hips, holding your bottom just under the split in your cheeks, and nipped your neck as a flat thumping echoed from where your bodies met, your legs bouncing with the motion. His member had gone back to bullying your cervix, and you wailed in the hopes that he would stop, “Thank you!”

“Heh… it escapes your lips so freely. Tell me, beauty-” He cut himself off with a grunt, panting against the column of your throat. “Tell me, what is it that you’d like? I would give you the world on a platter, should you want it.”

“I- ow! Y-you’re hurting me!”

There was a possibility that he was getting off on the pain he was causing you, just as much as there was a possibility of him not understanding that he was hurting you. With every motion of his hips against yours, despite the wicked pain, you felt that ever evil tug in your gut, like a stone growing heavier and heavier. 

You tried again, because if this had to happen, if you were under his control now, you may as well not get injured. You would not be pissing blood if you could help it, “It’s too deep!”

He listened. It was odd, but he listened, his voice warming as he slid back a bit and continued ramming into you, but no longer beating the hell out of your internal organs.

“I didn’t realize. Is that better?” His voice sounded warmer, echoey against your shoulder. His teeth grazed over your skin again when you didn’t respond. He choked out your name and you sort of came back to yourself.

“U-uh- I guess?”

“Wonderful.” He mumbled, his free hand reaching between your bodies and slicked with your sweat, to tweak your clit.

It should be embarrassing, how quickly you reached your height. Whoever he had been with in the past couldn’t have been so sensitive, since you felt his body jerk against you, an uncontrolled undercurrent to his motions. You let out a quiet, squealing moan and barely even felt the break when Malleus bit you to muffle his own groan. You didn’t feel him climaxing inside of you. You felt the control return to your body and flopped backward onto the table, your hoodie damp with sweat. Malleus took a step back, then carefully redressed you, then himself. You looked up at him and saw nothing but adoration in his eyes, not the fractured appearance of such. It was like he was actually looking at you.

When he spoke to you, leaning forward to cup your cheek, his voice was warm, warmer than ever, “Now, let’s start planning for the wedding, my beauty.”

[akawrites000]

when two people meet and they belong together on some level - a prompt list

again, this can be used for anyone - close friends, s/o, crushes. please feel free to change pronouns as you see fit :)

A and B are benchmates, and by the end of the lecture, they've managed to become more than strangers, and people with common interests. They exchange numbers - "can I have your full name?" "sure, but why?" "I just like to store the full names of people's contacts that I'm going to save."

A has never eaten out with their new friend before, so they're pretty nervous because they eat differently? compared to the locals. "i'm sorry, but can I eat with my hands? I just feel more comfortable doing it." B just smiles kindly at A, and A immediately feels at home, despite being miles away from it. "of course you can, please be comfortable!"

A introduces their cuisine to B and B absolutely loves it. "I can't believe I've never had this before!" "do you like it?" " of course! this is easily one of the best meals I've had in my life". Then they both grin at each other and continue to spend the upcoming hours in the restaurant, smiling, chatting away and having a jolly time. (the restaurant people are nice because they don't get kicked out xD)

A teaches B how to eat food from their cuisine and B follows obediently. A is so impressed by B's efforts, just looks at B with a fond smile while B is busy trying to eat the food correctly. "am I doing this right? can I eat this with both hands?"

B invites A over to their place for Halloween and A is so pleasantly surprised, that they can't believe it. "You're inviting me over? really?" "of course! I'd love to have you over if you'd like to come!" A later gets to know that B themselves was a transfer student who went to another country to study, so they can understand the feelings of an international student. A was just so touched and couldn't stop smiling.

It's A's first Halloween and B watches them smile and get excited about everything with a fond look on their face. A turns to them, almost shy, "um, i- I didn't really bring any Halloween clothes," and B has to try really hard to hold in their laugh because A was just being really cute right now. "I can help with that," - B finds a pair of cute purple socks and a headband for A to wear and A's excitement lights up B's entire evening.

"so, do you invite people often?" you seem to be a really good host." B, surprised, "ah, thank you for saying that, but actually, no, I don't." A smiles at the answer and they continue watching the movie playing on the tv, a comfortable distance between them, feeling warm despite the cold winds outside.

B watches A order their usual and smiles at them, "hot chocolate as usual?". A nods, happy with their favourite drink in hand. "What are you getting?" B points to their plate, "oh, just a plate of strawberry cheesecake, I really like these." A makes a mental note of it.

At the cafe again, weeks later, after class, "one hot chocolate and one strawberry cheesecake please!" B just stares at A, dumbfounded, "you remember!" "of course I do!"

"do you want to talk? I don't want to go home just yet." A and B walk over to a bench on their campus and proceed to talk into the evening until A had to catch a bus back home.

A spots a duck upside down in a pond and immediately texts B (who's absent that day) - "uhh, a duck is upside down and I'm worried about it." A doesn't know but B was wheezing while texting back, " that's normal don't worry, it's just feeding." A lets out a breath of relief, "thank goodness! I haven't seen a lot of ducks in my hometown." "I can tell."

A and B compare their hand sizes, after which B holds A's (much smaller) hand. "your hands are so small, no wonder you get cold easily!" A just smiles happily and holds B's hand tighter.

A and B spend the whole day together and then can't stop thinking about it after. "is it weird that I'm grinning, still thinking about how fun today was?" "no, because I'm still thinking about it too."

[glyhpsrfvckincol]

Random owlhouse hc idea fo you

Reader barely gets called their actual name and is called a nickname to the point no one really know their name til someone asks if their name is actually the nickname and reader is like “ ha no”

My main thing is their nickname is a animal Mabye because their palismen is it

Nicknames || The Owl House

Synopsis - Various TOH characters asking if your nickname, which corresponds to your Palismen, is your real name.

Warnings - Many references.

Okay, side note.

My Palismen, he’s a frog with axolotl gills. 100% contemplating if I should add a shark fin. I don’t know what to colour him yet:(

Anyway-

A/n - If you want a part with the adults, let me know :D

Requests are opened; headcanons only

A list of nicknames corresponding to certain animals:

↳ Ferrets = Ferry (pronounced - fairy), kit

↳ Frogs = Froggy, Froppy, Mcfly, Kermit, Amphibia, Sprigs

↳ Birds = Chickie, Chica, Beaks, Fumikage, Ellie (I dunno know, your palismen might be an eagle), karasu (crow in japanese, according to google), Hedwig

↳ Duck = Ducky, Duckus, Qaucker, Waddles, Snickers

↳ Pig = Mabel, Waddles

↳ Cat = Garfield, Sphynx, Ghoul (corresponds to amity’s Palismen), kitkat, whiskers

↳ Deer = Antler, Specks (some deer have white dots on there fur, and it’s super pretty!), velvet (for when their antlers regrow), Bambi

↳ Spider = Webbs, Charlotte, Fang, Silky

Amity Blight

↳ You got your palismen when you were relatively young. Like 5 or sum-

↳ And your parents had given you a nickname based of your palismen. Cause the both of you are absolutely adorable.

↳ So, basically the only time they used your real name is used when you were in trouble. (Good luck, lol)

↳ Anyway, Amity has known you as N/n for years at this point. You introduced yourself to her as N/n, everyone has always called you N/n, and you even write N/n as your name on tests.

↳ So she had no reason to suspect your name was infact different from what she and everyone else knew it as.

↳ Until you had been called in as a suspect of being involved with the human girl by Belos, where he had written your birth name on the letter you’d been sent.

↳ Amity was shocked. And very confused.

↳ Amity when she read your name on the letter:

↳ So she questioned you.

↳ “N/n, has one of Belos coven scouts messed up who the letter was for?”

↳ You: ”???🤨 no?”

↳ ???

↳ “But, N/n, I’m almost certain your name isn’t Y/n, or did they just mix your name up?”

↳ And now we’ve found the problem.

↳ Amity doesn’t know your real name!!

↳ “Amity, I’ve just realised I’ve never told you my legal name is Y/n.”

↳ “But, you write N/n on where you sign your name, even school work.”

↳ “Oh, right, when my parents put me in Hexside, they were given an option on the paperwork that I would be able to have a preferred name, and they put N/n as the optional option.”

↳ “Oh.”

↳ Amity questions everything now. Mainly things to do with you and Luz.

Edric Blight

↳ He dumb, but it’s okay cause so am I. ✊😔

↳ He thought your Palismen was based off of your name so…

↳ Emira slapped him upside the head.

↳ He felt bad, cause he thought he was the only one who called you that.

↳ “I’m really sorry if you felt offended by me calling you P/n, I just thought they were based off of you.”

↳ :(

↳ Our poor boy 😭😭

↳ “Edric, it’s okay! I kind of told you it was my nickname, so I can’t blame you.”

↳ It’s best to tell him you prefer being called N/n, seeing as he will continue to feel like shit if you don’t.

↳ Now, he will either call you Y/n or N/n, just depends what comes to mind when he is either addressing you or talking to you.

↳ It confuses a lot of people, human and witches alike.

Emira Blight

↳ Asked you after a few days of being your friend.

↳ “So your Palismen, you have a nickname that matches it?”

↳ “Yeah.”

↳ “Cool.”

↳ Will tease you about it though, telling you it’s the cutest thing she’s EVER seen.<3

↳ Fastest to figure it out, everyone else took at least a few weeks.

Gus Porter

↳ Depending on the timeline, and wether you’re a witch, human or some other specie, also impacts how you got your nickname.

↳ Gus learns your name when you and him get put in detention.

↳ Principal Bump has caught you, Luz and Gus sneaking around Hexside, and throws you 3 + Matt into detention.

↳ Detention shrieks your names, before attempting to catch you and lock you in its pods.

↳ Gus is to terrified to question it about right then and there, but he does after Luz is accepted into Hexside.

↳ “Detention called you Y/N. How come?”

↳ “It’s my name??”

↳ *insert little dorky smirk*

↳ Gus just nods, also smiling.

↳ “Both your name and nickname are cool.”

↳ He gives you a fist bump, partly cause your names are awesome, mostly cause surviving detention is not only difficult but equally terrifying and it’s respectable you got out with him and Luz.

↳ Rip Matt.

Hooty

↳ He gives you a nickname within a nickname.

↳ And then forgets your nickname.

↳ But it’s okay cause we love him all the same!

↳ Hooty is always shocked when Luz or Eda call you by your nickname, cause that’s not your name!

↳ Was even more shocked when he learned your name was actually Y/n.

↳ “But I call you H/n (Hooty’s Nickname), and everyone else calls you N/n! How are neither your real name!?”

↳ Ensues him beating the coven scouts harder the next time they try to arrest Eda.

↳ Hooty forgets your name again btw.

↳ Just let him think H/n is your name to avoid maximum chaos.

Hunter Noceda

↳ He meets you during the hunting Palismen episode. You and Luz had been sitting in the little house the bat queen had for the babies so she could have a Palismen.

↳ You had gotten your Palismen the day before along with the rest of your class and Luz gave you several nicknames, trying to figure out which ones would suit you and your baby best.

↳ It took her 20 minutes I shall add.

↳ Anyway- when Hunter came to take the Palismen back to Belos, he heard Luz use your nickname, and just assumed it was your real name.

↳ This dork however, didn’t bother using your ‘name’ and instead called you ‘wild witch’. Any witch associated with the human is known as a wild witch.

↳ Basically up until you’re all in the human realm, Hunter only knows you as N/n, and doesn’t really question you about whatsoever.

↳ Then Luz introduces all of you to Vee and Camila, where she uses your real name.

↳ “And this is Y/n, but we all call them N/n cause it matches their Palismen.”

↳ Hunter just stands there, processing the information.

↳This boy is so clueless, that he asks you about, wanting you to confirm it.

↳ “N/n isn’t your real name like Luz said, right?”

↳ “Yeah, it’s actually Y/n, Luz is the one who gave me the nickname.”

↳ “Oh.”

↳ And then he continues on with his day.

↳ Will use either your nickname or real name, it’s just whatever comes to mind when he talks to you.

King

↳ Met you through Luz, as one of her first friends:D

↳ He just called you a puny mortal. At first at least.

↳ He slowly shifted into calling you N/n, as he got closer to you.

↳ King knew that your name was odd, but he didn’t question it. Mainly cause last time he questioned something, Tinella Nosa appeared.

↳ And with Eda giving you nicknames, as well as Luz, it just confuses him a tad bit more.

↳ King wants to ask you, just to stop being confused.

↳ But he’s shy, and ask Luz for help.

↳ “Conejito, what was the inspiration behind N/n?”

↳ king is just sitting on her shoulder.

↳ “P/n. When I first got them, my dad just started calling me N/n. I guess everyone caught on cause no one calls me Y/n anymore.”

↳ King: 😲

↳ King just stares into your soul. He didn’t actually think N/n wasn’t you’re real name, just thought it was an odd name.

↳ For a little after this, he’ll switch between your names, sounding very unsure whenever he says it, u til it just becomes natural again.

Luz Noceda

↳ Eda definitely gave you the nickname.

↳ Eda’s probs given you near to a few 100 by now.

↳ So Luz knew you as N/n.

↳ Because that’s how Eda introduced you to Luz.

↳ Luz found out what your real name was when Gus used it to greet you back in “I Was a Teenage Abomination.”

↳ “Wait, is N/n just another one of Eda’s nicknames?!? 😱

↳ You: 😊

↳ You just smile innocently at her, like Dustin Henderson when he was 12-

↳ Luz just questions life. Forever. Will give you her own nickname.

Matt Tholomule

↳ He got so annoyed when he found out. Like how dare you >:(

↳ Only he was supposed to lie about his name.

↳ “Neither of us lied though? You have everyone call you by your full name and I just had a nickname related to my Palismen.”

↳ But he don’t listen to reason. He a petty bitch-

↳ Matt found out via Steve.

↳ Let’s set the scene.

↳ You and Matt, hanging out, and it just so happens to be Steve’s off day.

↳ He walks past Matt’s room as the two of you are arguing over what a humans favourite food is.

↳ He thinks it’s normal for humans to eat actual eggs. As in the shells.

↳ You’re probably friends with Luz, which means it’s more than likely come up in conversation when you’ve offered her food.

↳ “Ohhhh, you’re Shiba’s nibling, Y/n, right?”

↳ “Huh? That’s not her name Dumbass! Now get out!”

↳ “I’m not in your room though, I’m standing outside it.” 😌😌

↳ Which lead to a conversation about you lying to him.

↳ As if HE didn’t lie either.

↳ “Matt, shut up, and stop telling people your first name is Mattholomule, you sound dumb.”

↳ “Hypocrite.”



The Collector

↳ He never asked your name. Just called you play date, or best friend.

↳ Doesn’t even fathom the idea of you having your own name besides the one he gave you.

↳ Until King accidentally used your birth name.

↳ King knew you from adventures he had with Luz, seeing as you were his friend too.

↳ You just got unlucky, and got very stuck in the demon realm.

↳ Yes, you’re forced to call her ‘mom Odalia’-

↳ And when Collector found out, he was so confused.

↳ Like ??? What do you mean the name I gave you isn’t your real name?? You’re so mean! :(

↳ How dare you! >:(

Vee Noceda

↳ She figured it out on her own. (Cause she smart🤓)

↳ When she first met you, she also met your Palismen.

↳ “You and your Palismen match really well!”

↳ Yes, that is how she starts the conversation, give out baby a break >:(

↳ Vee is smiling at you, rubbing her hands and is swinging back and forth on her feet.

↳ “Uh, yeah! P/n really cool! They can do this thing! It’s-“

↳ And your dorkly explain every cool thing your Palismen can do!

↳ “That’s epic! It’s also really cool you’re nickname matches them!”

↳ God bless you a-dork-able nerds!

Willow Park

↳ Willow suspected NOTHIN’.

↳ Just thought it was a coincidence or that your Palismen was passed down to you! This depends on the timeline.

↳ For a very long time, she knew you as N/n.

↳ But when you, her, Gus and Luz get called to principal Bumps office, that changed quickly.

↳ “Y/N, I taught your parents, I know they wouldn’t approve of this behaviour.”

↳ You may or may not have set fire to one of the school rooms…

↳ Y/n?? Huh?

↳ Since the 4 of you were being lectured, Willow made sure to ask you later.

↳ “Uh N/n, do you have another name? Cause I’m principal Bumps office he called you… something else.”

↳ She forget what Principal Bump addressed you as, but that was fine!

↳ “Oh! Yeah, my legal name is Y/n. Boscha started calling me N/n in a teasing way but others thought it was meant to be affectionately and also started calling me that. It’s a cute nickname so I don’t mind.”

↳ “Oh… are you comfortable with me calling you N/n?”

↳ My sweet baby!

↳

[simplykorra]

“Are you wearing it now?” Chanel breaks the silence so suddenly that Beatrice jumps a little.

“Wh…what?”

Chanel sighs and looks at her like she’s exhausted to have to go into detail. “You keep fidgeting and shifting in your seat, please tell me you didn’t wear lingerie on your flight.”

“I…how did you…what?” Beatrice stumbles over herself so much she blows the entirety of her cool. “Of course I didn't,” she says, as if she has any real practice in this. As if she isn’t nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs about the prospect of wearing it at all.

Because yes, she has lingerie in her bag, picked out by her friends with the promise of blowing Ava’s cute little rubber duck socks off.

“So you do have a pair?”

“Chanel,” Beatrice warns, or begs, she’s not sure which.

Thankfully, Chanel laughs and pats her knee. “Relax, the last thing I want to do is scare you off and ruin the moment - because Ava has been a pain in my ass for the last three weeks, she needs this as much as you do, trust me.”

It’s late enough that the stars are out and the sky is dark - though lit up by the array of lights and equipment that make up a massive movie set. Genuinely, Beatrice has found herself on a few sets since she started dating Ava, but this one is surreal - it feels almost like its own city.

There is an entire row of trailers and Beatrice just knows if Camila was here, she’d be freaking out about all of the stars here. Sadly, the weight of it all is lost on Beatrice, when she read the cast list out to her friends before coming, she only knew three of the big names and one of them was her girlfriend.

The car slows to a crawl as they reach the back end of the set, beyond the production crews and the big, sprawling studio buildings where the green screen content is filmed - and hit the row of trailers.

“Okay,” Chanel rolls the car to a stop. “Third trailer, second row - if you go one too far you’re going to be putting on a show for Harrison Ford.”

Beatrice instantly perks up, “oh I know him!” She says, sounding far too much like Camila.

Chanel snorts, “everybody knows him.”

“I know but…never mind,” Chanel wouldn't understand how rare it is for Beatrice to actually know a celebrity and perhaps it’s good that she doesn’t. “Thank you for helping me with this,” Beatrice says after she climbs out, bag in hand.

“Like I said, she’s been a pain in my ass, a good orgasm or two will go a long way so-”

“Goodbye, Chanel.”

-------------

a celebrity!ava au follow up one shot

[birds--daily]

welcome to birds daily!!

this is my blog where i draw a bird every single day! the idea was completely ripped off from one of my best friends of all time, @fish-daily !! please go check him out :0)

my name is sunny and i'm a wildlife biology major and art minor from michigan. i'm 21 years old and i use they/them pronouns!

i'm here because i love birds so much, and i'm assuming if you're following then you do too!!

IMPORTANT INFO BELOW!!

what to know before you request

please check if i've drawn a bird before you request it! if you don't want to scroll through everything, all my birds are tagged by order. don't know the order of your bird? look it up! the IOC world bird list has a great resource for this.

i tag them by name, but some birds have multiple common names.

i also have a spreadsheet of every bird i've done so far! but i can definitely see myself forgetting to update this, so it's best to double check.

any avian dinosaur archaeopteryx-and-beyond can be requested! many ornithologists consider avialae to be the cutoff for "modern" birds.

i can't guarantee full-accuracy of prehistoric birds as i'm not very well-versed in paleontology.

please keep asks to only one bird! feel free to send multiple asks though. if you include multiple birds in an ask i'll just pick one. when i answer the ask to post it, the other birds will be gone forever...

i will prioritize requests in the order i received them in, but a couple times a week i might draw a personal pick instead.

not accepting duplicate birds doesn't mean you can't request a different version of the same bird, which leads me to…

sexual dimorphism and seasonal plumage!

yes! you can request different plumages and sexes of a bird i've already done! want to see a female ruddy duck? of course! want the breeding plumage of the willow ptarmigan? absolutely!

i have sex, maturity, and plumage recorded on my spreadsheet, but i'm bound to make some mistakes on there. once again, double-checking my blog is your best bet to getting accurate bird info!

if you don't specify anything, i'm going to assume the basic mature male with breeding plumage that you come to expect from a bird.

breeding and non-breeding plumage can also be called summer and winter plumage. some birds also have special names for their plumage forms. just to keep things consistent i'll be referring to it as breeding and non-breeding!

final notes

my main blog is @eggpathy if you're interested in any of my other art! i forget to post there a lot. most of my art is on my twitter under the same name (trying to move here though)

i'm a full-time college student with a job, so some days i won't be able to get a bird out. sometimes i might even have to take a few days to a week off just to keep my sanity. this doesn't mean i'm not having fun and enjoying drawing birds! it just means i'm busy and maybe need time for other things

i'm also still human. this means i WILL MAKE MISTAKES! i have not finished my degree yet and i'm still learning! one of the big reasons i made this account was to help myself learn my birds! i take extra time out of my day to find facts to post with my birds, and sometimes those are wrong. if you see me post misinfo, please kindly correct me with a comment, dm, or tag!

any post that isn't a daily bird will be tagged #not birds. any post that is a daily bird will be tagged #birds.

please feel free to add extra fun facts, info, and generally any other silly comment in the tags. i love reading them and they make my day!

asks don't have to be request-related! feel free to ask me anything :0)

thanks for reading! peent!

[someonewhogotanaccount]

It's intro post time!

Hi! I'm KitCat!

~The end~

Okay okay maybe you need a little bit more.

As I already said, I'm KitCat, master procatsinator and moving catastrophe, nice to meet you. (Though, everybody calls me KitKat, Kit or Chocosy, which is perfectly fine as well as any other name you want to give me ;)

I'm a minor, so all the creeps please leave now. My motto in life is "live and let live", so if you're here to hurt somebody, please leave too. Thank you :).

The typical things (that I actually forgot when I first posted this): I'm a straight white European Christian girl (teenager) and therefore probably the person with the most boring background, according to Tumblr ;).

I have two "adopted daughters": 1. My Killercat and tuna-demanding master Pauline 2. ";)", the bracket face (she can adapt any form of bracket face if she wants to, but the winking one is her favourite)

Some random facts about me: - my favourite colour is something between purple and dark blue - I have no clue how to write the word color/colour - I'm a German and from Germany (obviously) - I have no clue about the 'typical German culture', since my family was in Poland, Ukraine, Kazakhstan and Russia for around three hundred years and only came back to Germany 30 years ago or so - I love brackets and bracket faces - I have no clue about aesthetics - I consider myself a writer - I have no clue how to continue my stories - I love cats (who would have guessed that) - I have no clue how to make an intro post - I have a stupid sense humour - I have no clue in general but I'm trying :)

You can consider me as: Your silly Tumblr neighborhood KitCat and founder of the hug-ducks ;).

Do I take Tumblr serious? No. I'm that one friend that will be hyperactive the one day and then just dissappear for the next three weeks without a word. But if you ever need me, my inbox is always open. Vent as much as you want to, I'll try to comfort you.

Random stuff: I often misunderstand stuff, so if I'm acting weird, there is a 1/3 chance that I misunderstood you, a 1/3 chance I wanted to make a silly joke and you misunderstood me, and a 1/3 chance that I'm just weird ;). I'm a "Very vibey" (@mushroomcarrotstick) person, btw. @hijabi-desi-bookworm told me once I was "literally one of the best and ~vibest~ people" she knows. Do with that whatever you want, but my name is KitCat Chaos Vibey Clueless Badass Silly for a reason. Oh and if ANYBODY tells you that I'm cute, they are liars. All lies. I'm a pure badass and never ever search after the leta vs. kitkat war. It's better to let the past behind us and move on.

Sooooo, what else can I write here? Hmmm.... AH! MY MOOTS! I FORGOT MY MOOTS!!!

How do I do this now... you know what? I'll just make a list of the moots and then put the link here.

What else? Fandoms, maybe? (current obsession right on the top) - Worm (Parahumans) - Renegades - Claim the Stars (still waiting for the second book) - pjo, hoo, toa - The Inheritance Games (currently reading the second book) - tpq - kotlc - Warrior Cats (don't make fun of me. These books are my childhood and I will read them until I die) - Shadow League (never read the fourth book as it wasn't translated)

Also I enjoy listening music by Imagine Dragons :).

Yeah well, that's it, I suppose. I have an ao3 account as well, but that's only Renegades fanfiction so far. If you want the link just ask or smth.

Since everybody does this, I'll drop an "aesthetic picture" that should give the same vibes as my blog:

(source for the chaotic arson cat ;)

[eoieopda]

Hi! I found you through your Bang Chan drabble and I’m really excited to see more Stray Kids 🙏🏽 If you have time, could you write about drunk boyfriend Minho being taken care of by his partner Reader?

the one with minho and the wild goose chase

pairing: lee minho x reader type: drabble (fluff) au: established relationship wc: 1.6k cw: gn!reader, slightly aged up just for funsies, alcohol/drunkenness (obviously,) reader is basically the world’s brightest detective, scavenger hunt shit, minho and a surprise guest, shenanigans, references real places in seoul in name only.

Lee Minho was three sheets to the wind.

Throughout his night out with his friends, he’d sent you a mirror selfie from any reflective surface he encountered. Of course, he’d also sent a photo of a door — sans context — which could’ve been an accident. The more likely explanation, however, indicated a temporary failure to recognize that wood isn’t reflective.

Random door notwithstanding, each snapshot served as a clue. Little hints of your boyfriend’s whereabouts, leaving you a breadcrumb trail to follow on the wild goose chase he’d initiated with a single drunk text:

Minnow 🧍🏻[23:39]: find pls 🙏🏻 chinbang lost my phone and han broke

You had questions — a lot of questions — but you had to prioritize.

Immediately, you’d replied to ask where he wanted you to meet him. Not for nothing, you’d also inquired about their safety, but Minho’s thoughts were on a bullet train. Leaving you behind, they’d already rocketed off to the next stop. Sixty seconds later, instead of a location, you’d received:

Minnow 🧍🏻 [23:40]: Wait, this ? is mine ?? Minnow 🧍🏻 [23:40]: Whose phone is gong lol Minnow 🧍🏻 [23:40]: *goner Minnow 🧍🏻 [23:40]: What up, I’m Lino. I’m 27 and I never ducking learned how to read

For the record, Minho never did elaborate on what Han may or may not have broken. You’d climbed into a cab, praying it wasn’t a part of his — or anyone else’s — body. Property damage? Par for the course, unfortunately. That couldn’t be helped.

While you sped off to Minho’s last known location, he’d messaged you again:

Minnow 🧍🏻 [23:54]: …………… FUCKING not duck king 🦆 Words are hard. Omfg wait. Jagi, look 🐌 they made new emojis 🫧🥌🤹🏻‍♂️🌋

Once you’d arrived at your best guess, you quickly realized it was a bust. To your credit, it was a good start. At some point in the recent past, Minho had been at Su Noraebang. The telltale, leather beret he’d dropped on the stairs outside — still warm, you’d noted as you picked it up — confirmed as much.

Glancing back at the last photo you’d received, you verified that Minho’s reflection in the bathroom mirror featured the aforementioned evidence. If the beret made it inside, you could safely conclude that he’d dropped it on his way out. Judging by where he’d dropped it — on the left side of the steps, not the right — you now had a hunch as to where he’d gone next:

Zzang Games.

Thankfully, your next stop was directly beside Su Noraebang. It took less than a minute for you to scurry over and continue your quest.

It was much easier than expected to find him. Minho, unbeknown to either of you, was standing too close to the door when you pushed it open. You’d recognize that startled yelp anywhere.

Upon realizing who’d bumped into him, his expression quickly changed from offended to ecstatic. Grinning like a fool yourself, you stepped around the door and gently maneuvered him out of its line of fire.

“Finally!” You peeped before pressing a kiss to his waiting lips. He whined when you pulled away, but your to-do list wasn’t complete yet. You held up his long-lost beret and waved it triumphantly in the air. “Missing something, love?”

Minho’s arms wrapped around your waist — a habit, though not one he normally indulged in so publicly — while you reached up to return his beret to its rightful spot. You adjusted its angle and gently smoothed his flyaways; he transformed into a sniper. Catching you off guard, he landed a perfectly aimed and entirely unexpected kiss on the tip of your nose.

Okay, so, Minho is drunk drunk.

“You found me!” His awe was evident in how softly he spoke, and his adoration sparkled crystal clear in warm, wide orbs. Then, Minho frowned, so pitiful and yet so perfect, “I couldn’t even find me.”

You tried hard not to laugh, but you couldn’t help it. Swiping your thumb over his candy apple cheek, you solemnly swore, “Always will, lost boy. Ready to fly home?”

Minho nodded, your lips pecked his cheek, then you turned for the exit. Glancing over your shoulder at him as you walked, you double-checked to make sure he was still following. Thankfully, he was — in line like a duckling.

“Bus or cab?” You asked.

His brows furrowed as if you’d asked him for a hot take on foreign policy, not his preference for public transit. After several moments of silent deliberation, Minho responded shyly, “Can we walk?”

Your apartment wasn’t far. Most importantly, you weren’t confident that he could ride in a moving vehicle without hurling. Even if neither was the case, you would’ve agreed; you’d walk across the surface of the sun if his puppy dog eyes begged you to. Minho was uncharacteristically giddy when you agreed with a smile.

As soon as you hit the sidewalk, Minho hollered, “Oh, shit. Hang on!” When you turned to face him, his hand was stuffed in the pocket of his coat. His face was panic-stricken, which immediately set off the alarm in your brain.

You were about to ask if he’d lost something else or forgotten to close his tab; but then he pulled his closed, right fist from his pocket with a relieved sigh. Then, Minho held that fist out to you. You blinked at it, then up at him.

“Can you hold this, baby?” Minho asked.

You held out your left hand to accept whatever he was offering, believing wholeheartedly that you were in a better position to keep track of his belongings than he was. Phone, keys, wallet — all of the above, really. But when he opened his fist and revealed nothing, Minho’s fingers slid between yours while a mischievous grin slid across his face.

The most loving prank, and the most Minho thing you’d ever witnessed. He was a menace, albeit a shockingly, publicly affectionate one.

Thoroughly pleased with his own antics, he snickered, “Gotcha, my love. I win.” And as you walked, he let your clasped hands swing proudly between your body and his as if to say, look at my prize!

You were halfway home, halfway past an alley to your left. There, for whatever reason, Minho stopped short. The inertia of his sudden halt had you stumbling; his firm hand around yours kept you from tipping over. Now thoroughly alarmed, you glanced up at his face to see if he was alright — more specifically, if he was about to spew. Instead of returning your gaze, he stared wordlessly down the alley.

“Minho, what’s —“

Gently, he shushed you and lifted your hand along with his. He pointed slowly ahead to a small, white kitten sitting like a loaf of bread on the lid of a trash can. The little thing was covered in dirt and bits of leaves which, given its location, was of no surprise to you. Minho’s sudden alertness, however, was.

Before you could advise him against it — or remind him that it could be feral, sick, and/or riddled with fleas — Minho dropped your hand.

Watching him move always left you mesmerized, so your gaze stayed fixed on him as he tiptoed towards the kitten. Even in his current state — to wit: fucking zooted — Minho was the epitome of control. Fluid, never unsteady on his feet. He had the kind of balance you couldn’t mimic, no matter how sober you might’ve been.

If the tiny garbage-dweller was scared, it certainly didn’t show it. Without batting an eye, the kitten let Minho slink right up to it and crouch down to introduce himself. You had to cover your giggle with your hand when he bowed. This beautiful, reverent idiot is all yours.

“Hi, angel,” Minho cooed. “Is somebody missing you? Oh, you don’t have a collar! No tags, huh? You’re a little vagrant, aren’t you, baby?”

The kitten, of course, did not consent to be interviewed. It did, however, consent to Minho’s fingers running softly over the top of its head, down its back. Clearly starved for affection, it soon flopped over on the aluminum lid to grant what you assumed was the highest level of feline security clearance: unrestricted belly access.

Minho continued his ministrations as you made your slow approach. His tone got even softer as he provided welcomed tummy scritches, though you wouldn’t have thought it possible.

“Look at you, pretty girl. You’re too sweet to be out here on your own. How could anyone ever abandon you?”

Halfway down the alley, you watched in awe as the kitten melted into Minho’s hands and allowed him to lift her. When you reached them, that little dust bunny was cradled against his chest, purring like an engine.

Oh, fuck. If you weren’t already head-over-heels for Lee Minho, this display of uninhibited softness would’ve done the trick.

The kitten blinked slowly up at Minho; a gesture you saw him return. Did they develop a secret language in the three minutes they’d known each other? Then, Minho blinked up at you.

He said nothing, but he didn’t need to. You knew what he wanted to ask you and he knew you could never say no to that lovestruck look on his face. You sighed, though your amusement was palpable.

Hands now on your hips, you let Minho believe for a tiny moment that you had the strength of will to deny him. “Minho,” you started; the corners of his hopeful smile tugged downward immediately. “We can’t just take home a street cat — not without naming her first.”

Minho’s grin consumed his entire face. Easily and without hesitation, he chirped, “Trash Cat.”

You pursed your lips to hide your own grin. It did nothing to curb your laughter, which left you in a snort. “We can workshop it. Now, can the three of us please go home?”

[nattawinlove-andmygaytea]

Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat And Tul Pakorn Thanasrivanitchai On Love, Travel, Upcoming Projects And More

Together, the Thai stars are rewriting the rules of being a leading man in film and television all while venturing into new territories, pursuing passion projects and living their lives unapologetically.

Forget everything you think you know about being a leading man. Thai actors, Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat and Tul Pakorn “Tyler” Thanasrivanitchai, are redefining what it means to be a household name after starring in Thai boys’ love (BL) dramas.

Unlike the uninhibited and daring characters he sometimes plays on screen, Mew comes across as a reserved, soft-spoken yet confident gentleman in person. On set, he’s polite, charming and eager for feedback despite possessing a wellspring of experience in the entertainment industry. “Are my poses okay? Do I need to do anything differently?” he earnestly asks Kenneth Goh, our editor-in-chief who was art directing the shoot in Bangkok, Thailand.

Mew’s rise to fame was gradual. The 32-year-old earned his stripes as a model before getting his first big break as an actor when he was cast as Pree in the Thai BL drama What The Duck: The Series (2018). The show was an instant hit in Thailand, and was brought back for a second season. But it wasn’t until his role in TharnType: The Series, where he played Tharn, a gay man who falls in love with his homophobic roommate (played by Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong) in university, that his star rose dramatically.

Mew is also a gifted musician. His debut album 365 ranked number three on the worldwide iTunes album chart, and was number one in 18 countries. He also became the first Thai artiste to debut an album that reached the 13th spot on iTunes’ Global Digital Artist Ranking list. He has since struck out on his own with Mew Suppasit Studio, through which he releases new music.

His success as an actor and recording artist hasn’t gone unnoticed. He caught the eye of luxury fashion brands such as Maison Valentino, Tod’s and BOSS, resulting in coveted partnerships and front row seats at Milan fashion week.

In contrast, Tul exhibits golden retriever energy. Charming and enthusiastic in the flesh, he is the polar opposite of Mew on set. Tul is playful and adventurous, taking initiative on how to better bring the concept of the shoot to life. “It might be better if I stood behind Mew for this shot so we’re both facing the camera,” he thoughtfully suggests. His energy is infectious and he’s not afraid to do whatever it takes to get the best photo. On set, they are drawn to each other, playfully tugging at each other’s clothes, while warm embraces and encouraging shoulder rubs signal a close bond. After lunch, the laughs grew louder, the boyish repartee naughtier and the hugs tighter. Clearly, Mew and Tul have a special affinity with each other.

Like his contemporary, Tul’s first foray into the entertainment industry was through modelling. “I was a drum major during the Chula–Thammasat Traditional Football match back in 2011, and I was scouted by a modelling agency,” he recalls. “I was later spotted modelling during a fashion show by a casting director and was asked to go on an audition. I started acting in my third year in university, accepting one production a year.”

The casting director’s eye for talent proved to be on the money—the 31-year-old shot to fame, thanks to the success of Together With Me (2018), where he played Knock, a sexually-confused university student who ends up falling in love with his gay childhood best friend. With his newfound popularity, opportunities within the fashion industry opened up for Tul as well.

Another similarity between the two men is their dedication to academic excellence. Mew has a master’s degree in Engineering from Chulalongkorn University, while Tul just graduated from Columbia University with an MSc in Real Estate Development and worked as an acquisition intern at Cycamore Capital in New York City.

Mew and Tul are testament to the modern idea that there’s no one way to reach the pinnacle of success, and that there’s always room for personal and professional enrichment and time for passion projects. We sat both of them down for an intimate tête-à-tête on style, travel, upcoming projects, their goals for the new year and more.

ON FASHION

Tul: How would you describe your style?

Mew: It depends. I love to mix and match. I have different types of tops that I’d mix with different bottoms, shoes and accessories.

T: Your wardrobe is huge (laughs)!

M: What about you?

T: In Thailand, anything lightweight. I’m very sensitive to the heat. I’m still experimenting with my style, but I love Korean fashion. I think the cutting is more flattering for us Asians and it’s more sophisticated. I like something minimal with details that is easy to mix and match with what you already have. For Thai fashion, I like Greyhound.

M: Handbags! You have so many bags!

T: Shoulder bags and crossbody bags. Well, the thing is, I don’t feel like dressing up much while in Thailand. So I play with bags instead.

M: I bought him a new bag last year and I only saw him use it once. You know the problem isn’t about how often he uses it. The problem is, he was whining a lot when he wanted it. But when I bought it for him, he rarely used it.

T: I used it many times! Around five times.

M: In the entire year!

T: When I want him to buy me something, I’ll send him a picture saying, ‘It’s beautiful, isn’t it?’

ON FOOD AND TRAVEL

M: Any restaurant recommendations?

T: I think Japanese restaurants are great. I like yakiniku and shabu shabu, but I really recommend grilled prawns.

M: Any good ones in Ayutthaya? Once I ate them on a raft and threw up. I guess I had seasickness. River prawns are very fatty and the raft was floating, so I felt terrible.

T: I would recommend Ginzado. It’s a Japanese yakiniku restaurant.

M: What’s your favourite food?

T: Asian food. I enjoy Thai, Chinese, Japanese, and Korean food.

M: You know what our new discovery is? Peruvian food! It’s very good.

T: Yes, Peruvian food! So good!

M: We ate it in Canada.

T: Peruvian food is like a mix of Latin and Japanese food.

M: The restaurant we ate at in Miami was very good too.

T: Yes. They have this dish that’s a lot like our Yum (spicy salad). I think Thai people will like it. If you don’t enjoy Mexican cuisine, you might like Peruvian.

M: Do you always plan your trips or just go with the flow?

T: I always plan.

M: Overplan, more like it! He’s the one in charge of trips, and the itinerary is always just nice—not too packed.

T: I told you I can be obsessive-compulsive. When we travel, I want the best things at the best price. It needs to be cost-efficient. When you need to be somewhere at a certain point in time—such as seeing the sunrise at a particular spot—I will do everything to make sure we get to see the sunrise. I plan everything in advance and I don’t want anyone in the group to have to pay for something unnecessarily expensive. If, at some time, business class tickets are excessively costly and premium economy is more value for money, then we should do premium economy. I’ll be attentive to everyone’s rewards and mileage to ensure they don’t need to pay extra when they can redeem miles.

M: He will have all the information on hand like, if we’re going somewhere and need to use a particular airline, we should apply for this and that in advance, so we have benefits like better seats or baggage allowance.

ON WHAT’S NEXT

T: What are your plans for this year?

M: Last year, I worked on many projects, series and movies, so you’ll see a lot of my work both on television and in cinema. I’ll be back working on music soon as well. In addition, I have a fan meet around my birthday in February, so I’m looking forward to meeting my supporters there. Among the projects that I’ve completed is Mon Rak Luk Thung, a remake of a classic Thai musical rom-com. This is my first time singing many luk thung [folk] songs.

T: I’m thinking of seriously moving away from entertainment, and focussing on my family business. I’m currently working as a project manager for our new project in Bangna. It’s a community mall with a fresh food market. In the future, I would love to work in property management. I enjoy exploring residential and housing projects. I want to do something that offers customers high-quality products and a good quality of life. This is also the reason why I pursued my postgraduate study.

M: What are your goals for 2024?

T: I want to have a sexier body. I want to have time for the gym no matter what I have going on at work. Another goal of mine is to make more use of what I’ve learned in the US in my life. I want to be working on more tangible projects.

M: I have never had a chance to use any of the things I learned during my postgraduate studies (laughs). The research I did… I’ve used none of it.

ON THEMSELVES

W: How would you describe yourself?

T: I’m a worrywart. I think too much about every little thing despite my image as a very sociable extrovert. But when I’m on my own, I’m quite obsessive-compulsive; I will tidy my rooms and fold my clothes.

M: Everyone thinks he’s easy-going and very laid-back, but in reality, he’s a worrywart. He really, really thinks about everything. He keeps worrying about others.

T: It depends. I thought I could handle social media better as I got older but sometimes, I feel like I’m not as good at it as I could be. That said, after years in showbiz, I’m better at letting go and not letting it affect me as much.

M: I’m the opposite of Tul. He’s a worrywart despite his easy-going image. I look like I’m overthinking but in reality, I’m much more laid-back.

T: Exactly (laughs)!

ON LOVE

T: What’s your favourite love quote?

M: I don’t know… I’ve never thought of it.

T: Just Google ‘love quote’ and pick one you like.

M: For real? Okay, let’s see… Top 10 Love Quotes…

T: My love quote is ‘Bitch, I say what I say.’

M: What should I choose…what about this one? It’s quite short. ‘When there is love, there is life.’

[thebibutterflyao3]

Day 4 - Prompt: Evoke @pandalilymicrofics

February Daily Series - 963 words

<<<Previous Part OR Start Here

Lily eyed the four blokes blocking her way suspiciously. This impasse started about ten minutes ago and three aisles over with Remus distracting her from reshelving the returns with a long-winded story about a pair of “lost ships.” He clearly thought that it was the perfect allegory for missed opportunities, but it sounded particularly absurd to hear from his lips.

Then, Sirius appeared from nowhere and steered the conversation toward social media stalkers, which was apparently a little too on the nose for Remus. When she’d finally slipped past them, James stopped her in the next aisle to ask if she was attending the Yule Festival tonight, and when she said “yes,” he proceeded to incorporate her into their collective plans. Lily managed to duck into the last aisle and reshelve the remaining four biographies in her hands, only to find all four of them blocking her exit afterwards.

“What‘s this then?” she demanded, propping her hands on her hips. “I haven’t seen you here in weeks,” Lily pointed out to Remus before eyeing Sirius and James, “and the two of you are rarely indoors for more than twenty minutes.”

She gestured vaguely at the small stack of books in Regulus’s hand. “He’s the only one who seems to know what a bookshop’s purpose is.”

“I don’t know why they’re here, but I wasn’t going to turn down a chance to buy books,” Regulus admitted with a shrug. He glanced between Sirius and Remus curiously. “Why are you here?”

“We,” Sirius said, gesturing between himself and Remus, “are here to visit with Lily. Since I’m only in town for a few more days, I thought it would be nice to spend some time together. Evoke a little friendly comradery.”

James nodded avidly, which wasn’t at all suspicious. “Right, and I’m here to buy Regulus books for the ride home. I just figured you might want to join all of us tonight.”

“All of you? And how many is that meant to be?” she checked.

“My parents, Sirius, Remus, Regulus, me, Peter, and Pandora,” James replied, ticking the names off of his fingers. “Yeah, I think that’s it.”

Lily frowned as she went through the list internally. “So, is that four couples? And me?”

“Oh, no! Pandora is my flatmate from London, and she’s coming to meet James,” Regulus assured her. “I haven’t even met Peter yet.”

“He’s a friend from uni,” Sirius replied quickly. A little too quickly.

“Remus? What’s going on here?”

Remus rubbed the back of his neck and grimaced. “A coincidence?”

“If you say so.” Lily flailed her hands at the blockade until Regulus ducked behind James and Remus stepped out of her way. “I have work to do. Can whatever you’re plotting wait until tonight?”

“So, you will join us?” James asked, rocking on his heels like a small child.

“I’ll be at the festival. If I run into the lot of you, so be it, but I’m not committing to wasting my whole night following you idiots around,” she said, rolling her eyes at Sirius’s scoff. Spinning on her heel, she glared at Remus pointedly. “If I find out you’re trying to set me up again, and I will find out, you will not like the consequences, Remus John Lupin.”

“Definitely not,” he agreed.

Sirius looked gobsmacked. “John? Remus John?”

Lily strode away with her head held high and her arms swinging at her sides. She was confident in two things after that confrontation: Remus wouldn’t dare attempt to replicate the Gideon and Fabian incident from uni and the combination of James and Sirius was asking for trouble. As if she didn’t already know those two were as brilliant as they were foolish. She just wished that they didn’t drag Remus into their nonsense.

And me. Leave me out of this. Whatever “this” is.

She busied herself straightening the display tables out front until the quartet of chaos left. The last thing she needed was to be caught up in one of their “incidents.” The Potters may be dear friends of Mr. Lupin, but their son and his friends set off her red flag alarm. Individually, they were fine, but together? Pure chaos.

“Lily? Phone call for you!” Alice called, waving from the back office.

She waved back as she reached for the handset at the register. “Thank you, Alice!”

“Hello, this is Lily, can I help you?”

A long silence followed. It wasn’t one of those creepers that breathe into the receiver, or even the empty mechanical silence of a telemarketer who hadn’t connected yet. This was…shy.

Lily toyed with the old, misshapen cord that connected the phone to the wall. Mr. Lupin refused to replace it with a cordless or headset because he was afraid they’d lose it. The man could be such a dinosaur for only being fifty-five.

“Hello?”

“Oh, sorry. I wasn’t expecting…I mean, you caught me off-guard, that’s all.” The voice was both timid and defensive, but slowly lifting in volume.

“Alright, what can I do for you?” she repeated, keeping her tone as professional as possible.

“I was looking for a book about…never mind, you probably don’t have it.”

The call ended abruptly and left Lily staring at the archaic device in confusion. It stung a little to be dismissed so quickly, which was stupid. She hung up the phone and shook her head clear.

Leave it. Just a weird one, that’s all.

Except it nagged at the back of her mind the rest of the day. The woman’s voice was strong, but she’d rambled as though her thoughts were scattered on the floor and puzzling them together was too much effort. The hang-up was likely from her own embarrassment for being caught daydreaming, and yet…she couldn’t help wondering who she was.

Next Part>>>

[sukimas]

A Spoiler-Free Guide for Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War

With a short introduction, mechanics, and notable sticky situations.

(A PDF version of this guide is available upon request.)

Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War is a SRPG (Simulation RPG) for the Super Famicom, released in 1996. You have likely arrived at this guide either because someone has recommended it to you or because, far in the future after I have written this, a remake of it has released and you want to go back and play the original to see what has changed and what hasn't. Either way, you were likely inspired to play it from its strong story- rumored or experienced- and aren't too clear on what the mechanics of it are. Maybe you've played a number of Fire Emblem games, but are nervous about this one due to its reputation as an odd duck. Maybe you've never touched a SRPG before, and have a very excited Jugdral fan of a friend shepherding you into playing it. Either way, this guide is for you.

This guide will attempt to avoid spoiling any story events, but for those who mind gameplay spoilers, it is organized in ascending order of how obscure each gameplay feature is to stumble upon- the last two sections (Sticky Situations and Secret Events) in particular are not usually encountered by an unspoiled first-time player. Nevertheless, I highly recommend at least reading up to the fourth to last section, "Recruitments"; it contains no identifying character information besides time of encounter and class, and you will likely reach no end of frustration attempting some of them without foreknowledge (or some very good guesses). NOTE: List of Conversations (Section 8b) does contain spoilers for recruitable characters. Peruse that section with caution if you do read past the Recruitments section.

This guide is meant for use with the Project Naga patch, though some characters will be referred to by their more modern names; these will be indicated with a slash mark between the two. (E.g. Edain/Aideen.)

Table of Contents: Section 1. The Small Differences of Genealogy of the Holy War Section 2. Main Objectives Section 3. Finances and Resource Management Section 4. Skills Section 5. Side Objectives Section 6. Genealogy Section 7. Recruitments Section 8. Conversations Section 9. Sticky Situations Section 10. Secret Events

Section 1. The Small Differences of Genealogy of the Holy War

Genealogy of the Holy War is similar to most other Fire Emblem games in the broad strokes of its mechanics. It has general gameplay of fighting enemy units with your army on a grid-based map, chance-based unit growth, most of your usual classes and weapons, et cetera. However, it has a number of differences, large and small, with later (and earlier) Fire Emblem games, some of which may make gameplay more difficult if unknown. The small differences are catalogued here.

1a. Movement

There are two principal differences to movement in Genealogy compared to in other Fire Emblem games. Firstly, all mounted units may move with their remaining movement after performing any action except conversation or seizing of a castle. Secondly, though terrain in this game that decreases movement exists as usual, there is also some terrain that increases movement; when walking on roads, all units may move 1.4x as many spaces as usual, rounded down. So, for example, a paladin (9 mov) on roads may move 12.6 spaces, but this is rounded down to 12. As a trade-off for this, roads, like some rare terrain seen in other Fire Emblem games, lower the avoid of any unit standing on them by 10% (represented by the small shield icon in the terrain window):

1b. Follow-up Attacks

While units in most Fire Emblem games can attack an enemy unit twice if they are faster by a certain amount, units in Genealogy require a skill to do so. This skill is called Pursuit (or Follow-Up, depending on your translation.) There are ways to attack more than once without Pursuit, but they are either more rare or not guaranteed. Pursuit allows for a follow-up attack if a unit's attack speed is greater than that of their opponent by 1 or more points.

1c. Critical Hits and Effective Damage

Much like follow-up attacks, units in Genealogy cannot naturally perform critical hits. There are four ways to perform a critical hit on most enemies in Genealogy: Being next to an immediate family member or lover (flat 20% critical hit rate bonus to anyone, including those who cannot naturally crit); having the Critical skill (skill% chance); or using a weapon that has been used to kill at least 50 enemies (skill% chance, plus 1% for each enemy killed above 50, up to 50% bonus at 100 kills); or having the Wrath skill (guaranteed critical hit as long as you are at 50%+1 HP or lower).

Critical hits in Genealogy follow the damage formula of doubling a unit's attack power before subtracting enemy defensive stats, rather than the more common tripling of a unit's damage output after enemy defense is subtracted. They are generally much more useful in the hands of units with lower Attack than normal.

Effective damage in Genealogy (bows vs. fliers, etc.) is simply calculated as an automatic critical hit on the target unit (if the attacking unit hits, of course.)

There is no critical avoid (dodge) stat in Genealogy.

Also, the minimum damage for any attack which lands is 1.

1d. Weapon Weight

All weapons in Genealogy have a weight stat. This stat is subtracted from the attack speed of the unit wielding the weapon. There is no way to counteract this speed penalty, and attack speed may be decreased below zero when utilizing particularly heavy weapons. This can lead to a negative Avoid stat.

1e. Weapon Repair

Weapons in Genealogy are infinitely reparable at any castle on the map. The price of repair is equal to the weapon's price, divided by the number of uses the weapon has when new, times the number of uses to be repaired.

For example, repairing a 38 use Silver Sword to full durability costs 5000 (sale price) / 50 (maximum uses) * 12 (uses missing) = 1200 gold.

Each weapon in the game that the player can receive is unique.

1f. Weapon Triangle

The weapon triangle in Genealogy of the Holy War is generally similar to in other Fire Emblem games. However, it is notably stronger; units gain Hit/Avo ±20 for advantage/disadvantage. Additionally, there is a magic "triangle", which functions similarly.

The weapon triangle is Swords>Axes>Lances>Swords

The anima magic triangle is Fire>Wind>Thunder>Fire

The interaction of light and dark magic with other varieties is Light=Dark>Fire/Wind/Thunder

1g. Experience Gain and Class Change

Units gain experience based on their level in relation to the enemy's. The lower their level is in comparison to the enemy's, the greater their experience gain. Class changes don't affect level; you will gain equal experience as a level 1 Knight Lord and a level 1 Troubadour.

Class changes can be performed once a unit reaches level 20, if they are not already a promoted class. They can be performed using the Class Change option at one's home castle. There is no reason not to promote as soon as possible; all classes have a flat level cap of 30.

The stat caps for each class are each class' stat bases plus 15, excepting HP which caps at 80. There is data out there on the base stats; however, I won't go into it here.

1h. Weapon Level

If you've played Engage, you'll be familiar with this, but if not: weapon level is inherent to the class a unit occupies, and can only be changed by class change or personal modifiers (more on the latter in the Genealogy section.) So, if your paladin has B swords, he will never have A swords, even if other paladins you encounter might have the latter.

1j. Enemy Reinforcements

Reinforcements generally do not spawn on the map as in other Fire Emblem games; they will almost always appear from the mouth of a castle. If you defeat all of an enemy commander's allied units and said commander is capable of movement, they will return to the castle they came from, enter it, and 1-2 turns later exit it with a squad of new units statistically identical to their previous squad.

1k. Saving

At the start of each turn, before you have moved any units, you can save in the map menu (i.e. the menu that appears when you press A on the map.) It's highly recommended to keep at least two saves; one save every turn, and one save after you capture a new castle. You can set the game to save automatically each turn in the Options menu by scrolling down to Autosave and selecting a slot (1 to 4).

Section 2. Main Objectives

2a. Seizing Castles

Chapter progression is made by seizing enemy castles after defeating the boss standing on them. Theoretically, castles may be captured in any order that you like; in practice, in most cases the way ahead to the next castle will be blocked until you capture the previous castle.

When you seize a castle, a short cutscene will play and the enemy units whose allegiance lies with that castle will disappear (allegiance can be checked in the second page of the unit menu; this same page contains skills and weapon level). At the start of the next enemy phase, the "[Name] castle seized" map events will trigger; formerly neutral castles may turn red, enemy and ally units may spawn, and terrain may be changed (for example, a bridge may be lowered or raised, a path may appear through difficult terrain, a gate may be opened, etc.) Keep an eye on castles you have not yet seized due to this.

Allied (green) and neutral (yellow) castles cannot be seized, and may lack some amenities of allied castles upon entrance.

2b. Losing Castles

Any enemy unit who reaches the entrance of a castle (that is not their own) will capture it. Allied and neutral castles will become enemy castles when this happens, and can be recaptured by your own units; however, player castles will be pillaged and will no longer be able to be recaptured.

If the player's home castle (the castle where you start the chapter) is captured by the enemy, it's game over, and you'll have to restart from your last save.

Section 3. Finances and Resource Management

3a. Unit-Specific Gold Pools and Trading

Unlike in every other Fire Emblem game to date, units in Genealogy have their own specific gold pools. They cannot trade gold with other units, unless those units are their lovers; if so, they can use the Give Gold command to give their lover all of their money.

Units also cannot trade with each other. In order to exchange items, they will have to sell them off at the Pawn Shop in the castle menu, where another unit may rebuy them for twice the sale price. Therefore, it's best to think carefully about who should defeat enemy units when a droppable item is in play. The money cap in the wallet is 50,000 gold; if you're reaching that cap, consider spending it on something so you don't waste any new money you earn.

3b. Thieves

Thieves are an exception to the above gold rules. Though they still can't receive gold from just anyone, they can attack enemy units to steal all the gold in their wallet. Additionally, they can give gold to any unit in the army.

3d. The Arena

Each chapter, beginning with Chapter 1, has an arena. This arena consists of seven opponents per chapter whom, upon defeat, will give the unit who defeated them experience and 1000-4000 gold (beginning with the weakest and increasing by 500 until the strongest is reached.) All units can enter the arena as many times as they like until they've reaped all the rewards- each and every unit in your army may face and defeat the seven opponents, rather than just one. If your unit's HP hits zero in the arena, they won't die, but their HP will be reduced to 1. However, winning a match in the arena restores a unit to full HP.

It's recommended to challenge the arena each chapter with all the units you intend to use, but you don't have to in order to complete the game. So, if you start getting tired of it, you can skip it... but it might be best not to.

Section 4. Skills

4a. What are Skills?

Skills are abilities that a unit can activate- generally in-combat, though sometimes they have out-of-combat effects. Various skills have various chances of activation (some are guaranteed, some rely on specific stat thresholds), so be aware.

4b. Skill Types

There are two different skill types- "Class Skills", those granted based on a unit's class, and "Personal Skills", those a unit has innately. All skills can mechanically either be class or personal skills- though most skills are only personal. Class skills, however, apply to every unit that is a member of the class- including faceless enemies. So watch out, and check out the skills present on the unit menu to make sure you do not meet a dire error.

4c. Skill List

(Note: Attack Speed is here abbreviated as Aspd.)

Pursuit/Follow-Up: Allows a unit to strike again after an enemy counterattack (or twice in a row if the unit themselves is counterattacking). Trigger: Unit's Aspd > enemy unit Aspd.

Critical: Allows a unit to perform a critical hit in combat, doubling their attack before enemy defense. Trigger: Skl%.

Adept: Allows a unit to attack twice in a row. Trigger: (Aspd + 20)%.

Accost: Triggers another round of combat upon the completion of the prior round. Trigger: [Unit Aspd - enemy Aspd + (unit HP/2)]%.

Pavise: Negates all incoming damage for 1 hit. Trigger: (Unit Level)%.

Steal: Takes all of an enemy's gold upon hit and adds it to the unit's personal wallet. Always activates.

Vantage: Unit attacks first when enemy unit initiates combat (treats it as if unit initiates combat). Trigger: Unit HP ≤ (50% of unit's Max HP + 1). When conditions are met, always activates.

Wrath: Unit always performs a critical hit (if unit hits). Trigger: Unit HP ≤ (50% of unit's Max HP + 1). When conditions are met, always activates.

Astra: Unit performs 5 attacks in a row. Trigger: Skl%.

Luna: Unit negates enemy defense for 1 strike. Trigger: Skl%.

Sol: Unit recovers HP equal to damage dealt. Trigger: Skl%.

(Note: Only one of Astra/Luna/Sol may activate at once. Additionally, they are only usable by infantry sword units.)

Nihil: Prevents the activation of Astra, Luna, Sol and critical hits against this unit. Always activates.

Bargain: Shop prices for this unit are reduced by 50%.

Charm: Hit and Avoid +10 to allied units within 3 spaces.

Dance: Grants another action to all adjacent allies.

Miracle: When unit HP is ≤10, increases unit's Avo by [(11- Unit HP)*10] points.

Paragon: Double's unit's gained experience.

Renewal: At start of turn, unit recovers 5-10 HP (random).

Section 5. Side Objectives

5a. Villages

Visiting a village gives a unit 5000 Gold and may also grant an item. Bandits will attack villages; a village will be destroyed when a bandit attacks it for 10 turns, and every turn that a bandit attacks it will subtract 500 Gold from the total that a unit will gain from visiting it.

5b. Combatant NPCs

NPCs ("green units") that have normal classes will grant items when spoken to by certain units of yours. Their status screen will tell you who they should talk to.

5c. Civilian Rescue

NPCs who do not have normal classes (i.e. their class is Civilian) will grant 100 EXP when interacted with.

Section 6. Genealogy

6a. What's All This About Children?

Like Gaul, Genealogy of the Holy War is divided into two parts... Er, it seems I've misread my notes. Gaul is divided into three. Nevertheless, Genealogy takes place over a long period of time- 24 years, in fact. As the characters you recruit at the beginning of the game are in the prime of their lives, it's only natural that, over such a long period, some of them will marry and have children. However, the latter half of the game takes place over two decades later than the beginning- the characters that you've recruited back then, such as Edain, may be in their forties by that point. By no means can characters in their early middle ages not fight in the early middle ages, but this IS an anime- the timeskip calls for a new cast of teenagers, the children of your early units all grown up.

6b. Can Love Bloom on the Battlefield?

Units can only have children if they become lovers. Some units will be- or become- lovers automatically, such as Quan and Ethlyn. In this case, their children will always be theirs. Some units do not- take, for example, Edain. She will not automatically take a lover, and you'll have to get her to fall in love with another (male) unit in order to have children. (Evidently, Jugdral has not yet invented magic that allows for cloning or IVF. Sad.) Even if she doesn't fall in love, however, you'll still have the same number of teenagers fighting for you later in the game- two of them will simply not be the child of any of your own units, and will be "substitute" characters with their own backstories. However, the children of early-game units will have some gameplay advantages, which I'll explain in a bit. Either way, each potential mother has two associated children, one of which will take after her to a greater extent and the other of which will take after her lover to a greater extent. No male unit has any associated children without falling in love.

As for how units fall in love, it's quite simple. Units have a certain number of "love points" with each other- all of them start with a certain number of points shared with each other unit. Once a unit reaches 500 love points with another unit, they become lovers, and can have conversations, gameplay interactions, and children. Units gain +5 love points per turn from standing next to each other, as long as they are the only two units standing next to each other; there is a bug that can cause units to gain love points meant for other units if they stand next to another unit who is standing next to that unit's prospective lover. There is a more detailed explanation, but it would involve some spoilers, so I'll leave it at that for now. Units also gain a certain number of love points by being on the same map together; this can be as low as 1 and as high as 10 per turn for a given pair. Finally, units gain love points by having conversations with each other- conversations between unrelated men and women often come with love points attached.

Perhaps this explanation has been tiresome, and I haven't convinced you you shouldn't just toss up your hands and go for the substitutes. Well, there are many gameplay benefits to kids, starting with the following...

6c. Holy Blood

It's hard to miss, considering how constantly it's talked about. Some of your units are descendants of the Twelve Crusaders, who destroyed the darkness about a hundred and twenty years ago. This has numerous story implications. However, it also has gameplay ones!

If you open up a unit's Holy Blood menu (press A on the unit menu) you'll see a circle showing all twelve of the Crusaders' weapons and their names. Some of these will have green dots next to them; when a green dot is next to a Crusader's weapon, that means that the unit has Minor holy blood of that crusader; when the green dot is glowing (there's a yellow light surrounding it) that means that the unit has Major holy blood of that crusader.

Minor holy blood boosts a unit's rank in the associated weapon by 1 letter grade. For example, Troubadours naturally have a B rank in swords, but because Ethlyn has minor Baldr blood, she starts with an A rank. Meanwhile, Major holy blood boosts a unit's rank in the associated weapon to the maximum, and allows them to use the associated holy weapon if they can get their hands on it. For example, because Sigurd has major Baldr blood, he can use any sword in the game (excepting other holy weapons), including Tyrfing. This isn't just a nice bonus- most holy weapons give a total of +30 to a character's stats, spread out across a varying number. Some give more or less, or have other special effects (for example, Mystletainn grants the Critical skill), but they are universally extraordinarily powerful. A unit with holy blood can turn the tide of battle on their own, in both gameplay and story.

Holy blood also increases a unit's growths. Depending on which holy blood they bear, various stat growths are boosted; a list is shown below. Note that minor blood cuts these boosts in half.

Baldr: Associated with swords. HP+20%, Str+10%, Skl+10%, Lck+10%. Od: Associated with swords. HP+20%, Skl+30%.

Dáinn: Associated with lances. HP+20%, Spd+30%.

Ullr: Associated with bows. HP+20%, Lck+30%.

Bragi: Associated with staves. HP+10%, Mag+10%, Lck+10%, Res+20%.

Thrud: Associated with thunder magic. HP+20%, Skl+30%.

Fjalar: Associated with fire magic. HP+20%, Mag+30%.

Hoðr: Associated with swords. HP+20%, Str+30%.

Njörun: Associated with lances. HP+20%, Str+10%, Spd+10%, Def+10%.

Nál: Associated with axes. HP+20%, Def+30%.

Naga: Associated with light magic. HP+10%, Mag+20%, Res+20%.

Forseti: Associated with wind magic. HP+20%, Spd+30%.

Children will inherit their parents' holy blood, but only partially; both children will inherit minor holy blood, if it is held, but only the child which most resembles the parent will inherit major holy blood. The other child will again receive minor holy blood, unless both parents share a holy blood type, in which case they will both bear major holy blood. This is the case even if both parents' holy blood is minor.

6d. Weapon and Skill Inheritance

Units will inherit the weapons and items of the parent they most resemble, but only if they can use them in their base class. The exception to this is Holy Weapons, which will be inherited even if the child unit can never use them.

Both parents' personal skills pass on to both of their children. However, their class skills do not. Check carefully to see that the skills you want to pass on actually belong to the unit innately!

6e. Growth Rate Inheritance

Child units' growth rates are equal to 100% of those of the parent they resemble most + 50% of those of the parent they resemble less. Therefore, all child units will be equally or more competent in battle than their resembling parent.

Section 7. Recruitments

7a. From Enemy to Friend

Units in Genealogy of the Holy War won't always be on your side from the start. Oftentimes, they'll start out as green allied units, or even enemy units. While talking to enemies to recruit them is common in Fire Emblem games, Genealogy has some more esoteric methods on its hands. Therefore, a list of (non-automatic) recruitment methods and chapters (without mentioning unit names) is below.

7b. Spoiler-Free Recruitment List

Chapter 1.

-Speak to the swordfighter with your lord after seizing Genoa.

Chapter 2.

-Complete all seven Arena matches with any unit.

-Speak to the princess with your lord.

-Speak to the free knight with anyone holding more than 10,000 Gold.

-Speak to the pegasus with the bard.

Chapter 6.

-Speak to either the axe fighter or the axe knight with the lady swordfighter.

Chapter 7.

-Enter Dahna castle with the cavalier who worries for it.

-Speak to the mage girl with the other mage.

Chapter 8.

-Speak to the archer with the thief.

-Speak to the sage with your lord.

Chapter 9.

-Seize Luthecia while the general still lives.

-Talk to the general with the cleric from Luthecia.

-Talk to the wyvern knight with the prince.

-Talk to the wyvern knight with your lord.

Epilogue.

-Speak to them with your lord after seizing Velthomer.

Section 8. Conversations

8a. Communication is Key

Though supports weren't introduced into the Fire Emblem series until Binding Blade, that by no means that units did not talk about their past and present with each other prior to it. Units in Genealogy of the Holy War can talk to each other on the map for lore, love, stats, and items. The "Unit" section of the map menu contains a list of all units who can speak to each other on page 4 ("Personal Data"). It's highly recommended that you utilize this; though all units will have who they can talk to listed on the second page of their unit screen, it's easy to miss conversations without this.

Conversations have several triggers, but the most common one is the seizure of a castle. A list of all conversations between allied units, triggers, and results (things obtained from said conversation) is below. Initiator of the conversation is listed first, who they speak to is listed afterwards, trigger conditions third, and rewards fourth.

8b. List of Conversations, Conditions, and Results

Note that all events that can cause love point gain will not occur if either participant in the conversation already has a lover.

Prologue:

Azelle->Sigurd, Azelle recruited Lex->Sigurd, Lex recruited Ethlyn->Sigurd, Ethlyn recruited Quan->Sigurd, Quan recruited

Chapter 1:

Quan->Finn, from start of chapter, Finn gains +1 Str/Skl/Def Sigurd->Edain/Aideen, Edain recruited Midir->Edain, Edain recruited and Azelle has not spoken to her, +100 love points Azelle->Edain, Edain recruited and Midir has not spoken to her, +100 love points Edain->Ethlyn, Edain recruited, Ethlyn gains Return staff Quan->Ayra, Ayra recruited Dew->Edain, Genoa seized, 50 love points + Edain gains Warp staff

Chapter 2:

Deirdre->Ethlyn, from start of chapter, Ethlyn gains Light Brand Dew->Raquesis/Lachesis, Lachesis recruited, +50 love points and Lachesis gains Thief Sword Quan->Finn, Heirhein seized, Finn gains Brave Lance Sigurd->Lewyn, Lewyn recruited Beowulf->Lachesis, Anphony/Infini seized, +100 love points and Lachesis gains Str+2, Skl+2, Def+1 Alec->Sylvia/Silvia, Infini seized, +100 love points Silvia->Sigurd, Silvia recruited Fury/Erin/Erinys->Sigurd, Erinys recruited

Chapter 3:

Lex->Ayra, from start of chapter and Chulainn has not spoken to Ayra, +100 love points and Ayra gains Brave Sword Holyn/Chulainn->Ayra, from start of chapter and Lex has not spoken to Ayra, +100 love points and Ayra gains Brave Sword Ethlyn→Quan, Sylvale seized, Quan gains Gae Bolg Sigurd -> Brigid, Brigid recruited Edain→Brigid, Brigid recruited, Brigid gains Yewfelle Midir-> Brigid, Brigid recruited, +100 love points Claud->Sigurd, Claud recruited

Chapter 4:

Taillte/Tailtiu->Azelle, if the two are not lovers, +100 love points and Azelle gains HP+5 Sigurd->Claud, from start of chapter Edain->Midir, if the two are lovers, Midir gains Brave Bow Edain->Jamke, if the two are lovers, Jamke gains Brave Bow Edain->Azelle, if the two are lovers, Edain gains Rescue staff Silvia->Claud, Thove/Tófa seized, +100 love points Lewyn->Sigurd, Silesse seized Erinys->Lewyn, Silesse seized, +290 love points

Chapter 5:

Edain->Brigid, from start of chapter Claud->Edain, if the two are lovers, Edain gains Rescue staff Sigurd->Ayra, Lubeck seized Lex->Azelle, Lubeck seized Dew->Jamke, Lubeck seized Tailtiu->Azelle/Claud/Lex, if the two are lovers and Phinora seized Erinys->Lewyn/Arden/(Noish/Naoise), if the two are lovers and Phinora seized Silvia->Claud/Lewyn/Alec, if the two are lovers and Phinora seized Lachesis->Beowolf/Naoise/Dew, if the two are lovers and Phinora seized Ayra->Lex/Chulainn/Arden, if the two are lovers and Phinora seized Brigid->Alec/Jamke/Midir, if the two are lovers and Phinora seized

Chapter 6:

(Scathach/Ulster)/(Roddlevan/Dalvin)->Larcei/(Radney/Creidne), from start of chapter, Larcei/Creidne gains Lck+1 Lester/(Dimna/Deimne)->Lana/(Mana/Muirne), Lester/Deimne recruited, Lana/Muirne gains Lck+1 Oifey->Seliph, Oifey recruited Lana/Muirne->Julia, Julia recruited, Julia gains Mend staff Fee/(Femina/Hermina)->Seliph, Fee/Hermina recruited Arthur/Amid->Seliph, Arthur/Amid recruited Julia->Seliph, Isaach conquered, Julia gains Nosferatu tome (recommended) Julia->Seliph, Sophara conquered, Julia gains Aura tome Seliph->Lana/Muirne, Sophara conquered, +100 love points

Chapter 7:

Shannan->Patty/Daisy, from start of chapter, +100 love points and Shannan gains Balmung Oifey->(Dermott/Diarmuid)/Tristan, from start of chapter, Diarmuid/Tristan gains +1 Str/Skl/Def Seliph->Shannan, from start of chapter, Seliph gains +1 Skl Larcei/Creidne->Shannan, from start of chapter, +100 love points and Larcei/Creidne gains +2 Skl Patty/Daisy->Seliph, Yied/Aed is seized, +100 love points and Seliph gains Brave Sword Leif->Seliph, from start of chapter Diarmuid/Tristan->Nanna/Jeanne, from start of chapter, Nanna/Jeanne gains +1 Lck Ares->Seliph, Ares recruited Lene/Laylea->Seliph, Lene/Laylea recruited (Tine/Tinni)/Linda→Seliph, Tine/Linda recruited Finn→Nanna, if he is her father, Nanna gains +5 Spd Finn-> Lana, if he is her father, Lana gains +5 Mag Finn-> Larcei, if he is her father, Larcei gains +5 Skl

Chapter 8:

Julia->Seliph, at start of map, Seliph gains Lck+1 Arthur/Amid->Fee/Hermina, from start of map, +100 love points and Fee/Hermina gains +3 HP Finn->Leif, from start of map, Leif gains Str +3 Faval/Febail->Seliph, Febail recruited Seliph->Tine/Linda, Connacht seized, +100 love points and Tine/Linda gains +3 HP Nanna->Ares, Connacht seized, Nanna gains +2 Str/Def Ced->Seliph, Ced recruited with Lewyn as his father, Ced gains +3 Lck Fee/Hermina->Ced/Hawk, Ced/Hawk recruited, Fee/Hermina gains +1 Lck

Chapter 9:

Febail/Asaello->Patty/Daisy, from start of map, Patty/Daisy gains +1 Lck Patty/Daisy->(Coirpre/Cairpre)/(Sharlow/Charlot), Coirpre/Charlot recruited, +100 love points and Coirpre/Charlot gains +3 HP Seliph->Hannibal, Hannibal recruited Lene/Laylea->Coirpre/Charlot, Hannibal recruited, Coirpre/Charlot gains +1 Lck Julia->Seliph, Grutia seized, Seliph gains +3 Res Finn/Hannibal->Altena, Grutia seized, Altena gains +3 HP

Chapter 10:

Lester/Deimne->Patty/Daisy, from start of map, +100 love points and Patty/Daisy gains +3 HP Nanna/Jeanne->Leif, from start of map, +100 love points and Nanna/Jeanne gains +3 HP Shannan->Seliph, from start of map, Shannan gains +3 HP Febail/Asaello->Lana/Muirne, from start of map, +100 love points and Lana/Muirne gains +3 HP Oifey->Seliph, Chronos seized, Oifey gains +3 HP Leif->Altena, from start of map, Altena gains +1 Lck Seliph->Fee, Rados seized and Lewyn is her father, Fee gains Str +5 Seliph->Lene, Rados seized and Lewyn is her father, Lene gains Def +5 Seliph->Tine, Rados seized and Lewyn is her father, Tine gains Mag +5 Coirpre/Charlot->Altena, Miletos seized, Altena gains +5 Res

Epilogue:

Arthur/Amid->Tine/Linda, from start of map if neither has a lover, Tine/Linda gains Lck+1 Tine/Linda->Seliph/Ced/Hawk/Leif, if the two are lovers, Seliph/Ced/Hawk/Leif gains Mag+3 Patty/Daisy->Seliph/Shannan/Lester, if the two are lovers, Seliph/Shannan/Lester gains +3 HP/Spd Daisy->Deimne, if the two are lovers, Deimne gains +5 HP Jeanne->Leif, if Edda is seized and the two are lovers, Leif gains +5 HP Muirne->Asaello, if Edda is seized and the two are lovers, Asaello gains +5 HP Nanna/Jeanne->Seliph, if Edda is seized and the two are lovers, Seliph gains +3 HP Nanna->Ares/Leif, if Edda is seized and the two are lovers, Ares/Leif gains +3 Def Lana/Muirne->Seliph/Scathach/Dalvin, if Dozel is seized and the two are lovers, Seliph/Scathach/Dalvin gains +3 Res Lana->Febail, if Dozel is seized and the two are lovers, Febail gains +3 Res Larcei/Creidne->Seliph/Iuchar/Iucharba/Shannan, if Dozel is seized and the two are lovers, Seliph/Iuchar/Iucharba/Shannan gains +3 Str Fee->Oifey, if Friege is seized and the two are lovers, Oifey gains +3 Skl Fee/Hermina->Seliph/Arthur/Amid, if Friege is seized and the two are lovers, Seliph/Arthur/Amid gains +3 Skl

Section 9. Sticky Situations

9a. Large, Progressive Maps

Portions of the maps in Genealogy open up as you progress through them and seize castles. While this does lead to some impressive storytelling, it can also lead to you being caught in an unfortunate situation because you're halfway across the map for where some new event is happening. I call this a "sticky situation", and have provided hints for dealing with them below.

9b. Hints for Sticky Situations

Chapter 1. Leave a unit to guard your home castle. The young man won't attack the woman he saved, but his fellows will.

Chapter 2. The northeast passage will open when your lord is in the least convenient location for it. Consider preparing for the worst beforehand, and sending a particularly moralizing young artist home ahead of time.

Chapter 3. Be prepared for sneak attacks from the west and the north, again when you're in the most inconvenient location for them. Think of the feelings of your recently-recruited units about the ones closest to them- maybe communication is the answer.

Chapter 4. If you like money, don't abandon the northeast entirely when duty calls elsewhere. Just don't leave your best units there. It's only provincial. Thieves can pick any lock, even when it's that of a drawbridge. If one were to be raised, they could lower it in no time.

Chapter 5. Units will automatically equip plot-relevant weapons. Even if they're broken.

Chapter 6. Better movement options don't necessarily result in a better outcome. Weigh all the pros and cons first.

Chapter 7. Your unlucky number is one greater than the number of Crusaders. Get a move on! Pegasi are broadly applicable to understaffing situations.

Chapter 8. Just because someone doesn't have Pursuit doesn't mean they won't attack you twice. Use more reliable methods. Thieves work in exactly the same way when they're your enemies.

Chapter 9. Never trust convenient roads that you didn't ride in on. Keep your guard up at home.

Chapter 10. If you're not willing to abuse critical hits and avoid stacking in the face of insurmountable odds, you'll have to either make sacrifices or count tiles very precisely. Consider sending winged beasts as close as you can to the cliffs east of your homeland before arriving there yourself.

Epilogue. Keep the one who inherited a blessing they knew not of until recently close to home. If you give a sage a magic ring and the right tools to use it wisely, you might be able to minimize your distress from enemies who mirror their abilities in the final stages of the war. Beware movement ranges.

Section 10. Secret Events

10a. What Is A Secret Event?

Secret events are events that the game does not outright inform you will occur if you perform certain actions. Some of these events are meant to be easy to infer (the Not-So-Secret-Events) and some a player would only figure out by looking them up in the manual (the Truly Secret Events). The Not-So-Secret Events are highly recommended for all players to prioritize due to their notable gameplay impact, and are difficult to miss if you read every conversation. The Truly Secret Events are fun, but if you wish to stay as unspoiled as possible, consider skipping them.

10b. Not-So-Secret Events

Chapter 4: After seizing Silesse, have its heir enter it. They will receive an important item.

Epilogue: After seizing Velthomer, have the most recently recruited character enter it. They will receive an important item.

10c. Truly Secret Events

Chapter 1:

A. Have Lex wait on the marked spot with an Iron Axe equipped. A conversation will occur, and he will receive a Brave Axe.

Chapter 2:

A. Have Arden wait on the marked spot. If he does not have a lover, a conversation will occur, and he will receive the Pursuit Ring.

B. After capturing Heirhein, have a male character wait next to the neutral soldier just north of Evans castle for a conversation to occur.

Chapter 3:

A. Have Dew wait directly in front of Bragi Tower and he will receive the Wind Sword.

Chapter 4:

A. Prior to seizing Tófa/Thove, if neither Silvia, Lewyn, or Erinys have a lover, a conversation will occur if Silvia waits next to Erinys. Silvia will gain a large number of love points with Lewyn, while Erinys will gain a smaller number.

B. Have Silvia visit the second-most right-hand village on the map. An event will occur, and Silvia will receive the Safeguard/Defense Sword.

Chapter 5:

A. Have Arden wait on the marked spot. If he has a lover, he will gain 5 points of Skill.

Chapter 6:

A. Have Seliph visit the village directly northwest of Isaach castle, and a different conversation will occur than usual.

B. Before conquering Ganeishire, Lester, Deimne/Dimna, Diarmuid/Dermott/Delmud, or Tristan can speak to the neutral soldiers of Sophara or Isaach castle.

C. If Deimne enters Isaach castle, a conversation will occur, and his Strength will increase by 5 points.

D. If Johan/Iuchar or Johalva/Iucharba waits next to Radney/Creidne for 10 turns, a conversation will occur, and Creidne's Strength and Luck will increase by 2 and 3 points, respectively.

Chapter 7:

A. If Laylea visits one of the villages south of Leonster, a conversation will occur, and she will receive the Barrier Blade.

B. After the boss of Ulster castle has been defeated, if Daisy waits next to Shanan, a conversation will occur, and Daisy's Skill and Speed will increase by 3 points.

C. After Melgen has been seized, if Tristan and Roddlevan/Dalvin are both below level 10, having them wait next to each other will cause a conversation to occur and both of them to gain Strength +2 and Def +1; Tristan will gain Speed +1, while Dalvin will gain Defense +1.

Chapter 8:

A. If Fee waits on the marked location before the character guarding Munster castle is recruited, a conversation will occur.

B. If Linda waits on the left-hand marked spot, a conversation will occur, and she will gain Resistance +3. If Amid waits on the right-hand marked spot, a conversation will occur, and he will gain Resistance +3.

C. If Asaello visits the village northwest of Connacht, a conversation will occur and his Strength will increase by 3.

D. After Connacht has been seized, if neither Seliph nor Muirne/Mana have a lover, and if all characters recruited from chapter 6 onwards have survived so far, have Seliph wait next to Muirne. A conversation will occur, and Muirne will gain Luck +5.

Chapter 9:

A. If Hawk enters Luthecia, a conversation will occur, and he will gain +3 Magic and Resistance.

B. After Grutia is conquered, have Charlot/Sharlow wait next to Hannibal. A conversation will occur, and he will receive the Berserk staff.

C. If Femina/Hermina or Janne/Jeanne visits one of the northwest villages, a conversation will occur and she will gain +3 Defense.

Chapter 10:

A. If Seliph defeats the boss of the final castle and before seizing it waits next to the water on the beach below, something will happen.

[cyberphuck]

Assassin’s Apprentice Abridged: Part Three

Part One Part Two (My friend Razz wants to understand my shitposts about the Farseer Trilogy, but doesn’t want to have to read the books, so I’m summarizing the trilogy for them starting with Assassin’s Apprentice!) When we last left Fitzy-Fitz, he was being stared at by a mysterious woman in the kitchens... - There's a woman staring at Fitz so hard that he can feel his clothes smoking. "This lady is creepy," he thinks as he puts a bucket on her head to keep her from seeing him steal 39 wheels of cheese. "Hello," says FItz.

"O_O" says the woman.

"...alright then," says Fitz, and leaves.

A few weeks later, while staggering drunkenly through a garden that features "seven varieties of thyme," which is five more varieties than I knew existed (regular thyme and hammer thyme), Fitz sees the woman again.

"Are you drunk?" she demands.

"Ayyyyyy lmao," Fitz replies, giving her double finger guns before stumbling back to the stables and falling asleep in a pile of horse manure.

Soon after that, Burrich comes back from the Probably Gay Stablemasters Convention (Ponycon 2023) and sees a very old horse in his stables. "Hey, I know that horse," he says. "Oh. Oh shit. Lady Patience is here."

The Fool's head pops out of a nearby hay bale. "The Lady Patience is Prince Chivalry's widow," he reminds us helpfully, then ducks back down.

"Oh good," Fitz mutters. "I have made a GREAT impression on her so far."

"It's fine, she's fucking weird anyway," Burrich says. "Go take a shower. You smell like teenaged boy."

But before Fitz can douse himself in Axe body spray, Patience accosts him in the hallway. "Do you know how to sing, play an instrument, speak French, write poetry, dance, or subjugate  minorities?" she asks.

"No," Fitz says, "that's for royalty."

"Surely you've been instructed to watch  Game of Thrones," Patience presses.

"No."

"Merlin?"

"Nah."

"The Princess Bride?" Patience asks desperately.

"Again," Fitz sighs, "I'm a bastard."

"I will be," Patience snarls, "RIGHT BACK."

Fitz takes a shower.

When he gets out, Chade is there. "Boy, m'boy!" he cries. "They're going to teach you the Skill!"

"I already know how to kill," Fitz protests.

"No, boy, SKILL. The innate Farseer royal magic that enables you to..." Chade checks his notes. "Well, by the end of the series it's easier to list the things the Skill CAN'T do-- but in this first trilogy it's mostly a Professor X type psychic ability that lets you telepathically talk to people in italics."

"Oh. Neat."

"Patience heard that you weren't getting a Prince's education and threw a bitch fit," Chade beams. "You'll start your Skill lessons next month. In the meantime you have to go and spend time with Patience so she can teach you Prince things."

"Like what it's like when doves cry?" Fitz asks.

"Stop dating yourself with old as fuck references," Chade snaps, and shoos him off.

Early the next morning Fitz reports to Patience's room, which is full of all her most recent ADHD hyperfixations, Lacy the servingwoman, and a dog with some puppies. "Hello!" Patience says. "I've decided to name you Tom. Here's a puppy."

Fitz loves the puppy and, with the Fool's random help, names him Smithy. He loves Smithy so much that he makes some macaroni art of him and brings it proudly back to Patience.

Patience hugs him, screams, then runs into her room and slams the door.

"She gets like that," Lacy explains, not looking up from her knitting.

Fitz has a great couple of weeks spending time with Smithy, Patience, and Molly, who he still has a giant crush on. Burrich notices that he hasn't yelled at Fitz for being witted in a while and calls him up to his apartment."Listen, Lil Accident," Burrich says, "Galen, the Skillmaster, loved your father and absolutely hates you."

"So, a Severus Snape situation," Fitz says.

"Yes. But he is not going to secretly keep you safe. If he finds out you talk to animals he's going to kill you. And I'll let him do it, because I don't want you to talk to animals either."

"Okay," says Fitz, who is right at this moment talking to his dog Smithy.

"Chade and I are not allowed to talk to you while you're being trained in Skilling. So no matter what awful thing Galen does to you, you just have to take it. Be careful, Lil Accident."

"Whatever," Fitz scoffs. "How bad can it be?"

"There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class," Galen says imperiously as he strides onto the tower top where he's holding Skill lessons. "I am going to teach you THE SKILL, which is super badass and sick and so amazing. Only the most favorite-- er, most talented students will be able to learn it. You! What's your name?"

"Fitz," Fitz replies.

"One thousand points from Gryffindor! Now everyone strip naked and start doing push-ups until I tell you you can stop!"

Fitz is still doing pushups a few weeks later when Galen walks up and kicks him in the ribs. "You've been stealing food when I explicitly ordered you to do a juice cleanse!"

"That food was for my dog--"

"Silence! Get out of my sight and don't let me catch you cheating on your diet again!"

That night, the Fool comes to Fitz's room with a bowl of dog food. "I'll feed and walk your dog for you," he says, "but I'm not putting a bag on my hand and picking up his business. That's YOUR business. Also, you should stop going to Skill lessons. You might die."

"I'm not gonna die, it's fine," Fitz says, drinking his juice.

Despite all odds, Fitz does sort of start to learn the Skill. In fact he gets pretty good at the basics, much to Galen's disgust. Then Galen tells the class that he's going to touch each of them with a little bit of true Skill, to show them how awesome it is."But don't lean into it," Galen warns, "or your mind will get sucked out of your body Byford Dolphin style."

He touches Fitz with the Skill.

"Stop leaning into it!" Galen snaps, repeatedly punching Fitz in the face.

"Ow! I'm not, I swear!"

"You totally are, you're the absolute worst and you don't deserve to know how to Skill!"

"I'm the absolute worst and I don't deserve to know how to Skill," Fitz says, without any prompting from anyone.

"You're bad at the Skill, you'll always be bad at the Skill, and you should kill yourself!"

"I'm bad at the Skill, I'll always be bad at the Skill, and I should kill myself," Fitz decides, all on his own.

"Class dismissed," Galen says, dusting off his hands. "Everyone spit on Fitz on the way out."

Having independently decided to unalive himself, Fitz slowly crawls to the edge of the very high tower and prepares to launch himself off of it into the sweet embrace of death, which he totally deserves because he's a bastard and no one likes him. But then Smithy reaches for him through their Wit-bond and says "Nooooo don't kill yourself you're so hott haha."

With the power of love from, honestly, the greatest dog of all time, Fitz decides not to commit breathn't.

When he next wakes up, he's in bed, and Burrich is sitting next to him. "I wrapped you in bandages," Burrich says soothingly. "Go back to sleep."

Fitz spends the next few weeks slowly recovering from being curbstomped by Galen. He sweeps out the stables, feeds horses, endures angry glares from Burrich because he had a secret wit-bond puppy, and thinks all about how he's bad at the Skill and will always be bad at the Skill.

"Alright, Lil Accident," Burrich says after a while, "it's time to go back to your Skill lessons."

"But I've missed too many classes," Fitz protests.

"There haven't been any classes. Go back to your lessons."

"Why not?"

"Haven't you heard?" The Fool says, popping out of a hay bale again. "Burrich beat the absolute shit out of Galen at the Witness Stones. He said, 'Gods, if I win this very one-sided fight, then Galen sucks,' and then just jumped up and down on that skinny motherfucker until he stopped moving." "Oh," Fitz says dumbly. The Fool retreats into the hay once more.

Later, on a beach date, Molly says, "Have you heard Prince Verity is going to get married?"

"Since when?" Fitz boggles.

"Oh, I know all the hot goss," Molly laughs. "Yeah, he agreed to get political-married to some foreign lady, but he's got no time to go looking for one, so Prince Regal is going to find one for him."

"Huh," Fitz says, then, "Miss Molly, I sure think you're just the swellest girl I ever did meet."

"How swell?" Molly asks.

But before Fitz can say "really really swell, the bee's knees," Smithy comes charging up to them to tell Fitz it's time to go back to the castle and start his Skill lessons again.

Fitz goes to the tower-top classroom along with the other students, all of whom pretty much hate him for being bad at the Skill and because his adopted dad beat up their teacher. Galen limps in. "I have an announcement," he says. "First of all, Jaydee mixed up the order of events just now: Fitz's first lesson back took place before he found out that Verity was going to be married. Second, Molly is hanging out with a handsome sailor named Jade. And thirdly, your training is almost complete. I will send you all on one final test-- even you, bastard that I hate and that I hope dies-- and then present you as a Skill Coterie to the King on Fantasy Easter."

"Murmur, murmur," all the students murmur.

"I'm going to send each of you to a faraway place," Galen goes on. "And then I will Skill a message of how to come home."

"That sounds fun, I bet nothing bad'll happen to me," Fitz says.

Galen smiles. "Do you think I don't know that you and Burrich are fucking? Because I do. And you won't be able to use him for Skill strength on this test."

"I don't understand any of the words that just came out of your mouth," Fitz smiles back.

(There's an aside here about Fitz undergoing his Man Ceremony, a strange and ancient Bar mitzvah where dudes in masks come to his room in the dead of night and bestow upon him a new Man Name. The Man Ceremony is literally never mentioned ever again in the entire series, but Fitz's Man Name is-- Changer.)

Fitz is blindfolded, put in his Test Carriage, and taken to the faraway place where he'll wait for his Skill message. The Test Carriage pulls to the side of the road, throws Fitz out, then screeches off. Fitz stands up and takes off his blindfold. Hey, this place looks kind of famil-- oh, it's Forge, where all the zombies live.

Neat.

Fitz sits down to prepare himself to receive his Skill message.Then he falls asleep.

Burrich is being attacked! Someone pushes him down the stairs! Smithy comes to the rescue, biting the attacker's leg!! But then--

["I MUST GO, MY PLANET NEEDS ME," SMITHY SAID AS HE SHOT INTO THE SKY. "I AM A GOOD DOG AND I HAVE EARNED MY TIME CHASING SPACE SQUIRRELS ON MY HOMEWORLD. FAREWELL!]

Fitz bolts upright. He's got to get home to help Burrich! Smithy's fine, he flew away before anyone could hurt him. But Burrich! He starts on the road home. Fuck the Skill message, he probably couldn't hear it anyway because he's bad at the Skill and always will be. But he's NOT bad at helping Burrich and writing a letter to Smithy who, again, went back to his home planet and is safe and sound.

He fights his way back through groups of zombies at Forge (and sees Vikings still hanging out in the ruins of the town) and hurries back toward Buckkeep.

Burrich is still alive, convalescing in the hospital with a wicked bump on the head. "I'm not dead," Fitz tells him. "I came back to help you."

"Smithy went back to his home planet," Burrich says.

"I know. He contacted me via our awesome wit-bond to say he was fine and nothing bad had happened to him."

"I can't believe you were talking to your dog instead of listening for your Skill message!"

"I wasn't going to hear a Skill message," Fitz explains. "I'm bad at the Skill. But I'm good at talking to animals."

"That's gross," Burrich says. "Never talk to me, ever again."

"This is the worst day of my life," Fitz moans.

"It's the worst day of your life SO FAR," The Fool clarifies from his hay bale.

[samanthamarkle92]

Hey everyone! Still stuck on writing, but have the first part of a Soap fic to give you lovely people something to read! In this story, Soap rescues a young woman named Kate during a bank robbery. He decides to let her stay with him until she feels safe (even recruiting an old friend to help) and soon it turns into something more than roommates. Special shout out to: @deadbranch @nsharks @cravingcoldoreocake123 @ilovehotchocolate @codfanzine @sofasoap @loneghostwolf @shadow0-1 @mistyresolve @islenthatur @bittersw33t-lotus @salbei-141 @m0chac0ffee @fictional-men-have-my-heart @ghostslillady @ghosts-bandwagon @soapxmactavish @mactavishwritings @sleepyconfusedpotato @gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot @halcyone-of-the-sea @rileyslibrary @ghostkinnie @mctvsh @macravishedbymactavish @blissful--moon @mistydeyes @cowyolks @maxinequigleyart @ave661 @clownfishenthusiast @xintothewoodswegox @sighmurderbot If I missed anyone feel free to tag and reblog so others can check it out!

******************

All he had come in for was to use the ATM.

He didn't really have any other purpose for being at the bank right now. All he needed to do was go in for his change.

The door slid open and in walked the pretty blonde. She fumbled with her purse, standing in line for the teller.

Soap punched in his PIN, mentally making a list of things he needed. He thought he'd just get some cash out and grab groceries. The machine dinged, and he got the wad of notes that the machine had deposited. He had just got the money in his wallet, when he heard a scream from one of the women in line.

Soap spun around, trying to figure out what could have happened.

Some masked men had slipped in, taking advantage of the crowd. They were grabbing people left and right. One man grabbed the blonde woman, dragging her out of the line by her hair.

Soap felt sick inside.

He took a deep breath and ducked behind a counter. He had been in worse situations than this.

'Just my luck; I survived a dangerous top-secret mission taking out a terrorist cell, and now I get stuck in a bank robbery just blocks from my flat.'

He tried not to think about it too much. He would be out soon. The men who'd abducted the lady wouldn't be able to hold everyone here forever. There would be plenty of police to help. The whole incident would be over before he knew it. His soldier instincts told him to use his head; protect others, but don't be stupid. He reached under his jacket, making sure his concealed weapon was ready. The blonde girl swung her purse into the thug's stomach, knocking the wind out of him. That didn't help the situation though. Another one of them grabbed her by the throat, choking her.

That's when it all went to shit.

It wasn't as if he didn't know how to fight. He had done training, been in war zones, gone on stealth operations. But this was different. This was violence, and it wasn't a world away; it was down the street. The robbers had what they needed, and the biggest one grabbed the girl, using her as a human shield.

'Shit! Shit! Shit!' Soap yelled inwardly. If they took her out of the building, anything could happen. No one wanted that kind of thing to happen on their watch.  Soap didn't want that kind of thing to happen.

He started backing up slowly toward the doorway. The gang was only four men, but even the most skilled fighter wouldn't just throw himself into the fight. He waited until they group was almost out the door before he stood, brandishing his gun.

"Let her go!" Soap yelled. He was going for intimidation, which wasn't going to be easy with a handgun pointed at his chest. Some shots were fired into the air, but that was all. Soap ran after them, afraid to shoot in fear of hitting the girl. She was putting up a fight. They were dragging her to the getaway car. Soap took a chance firing above the group. the butt of a handgun slammed into the back of her head, and then the criminals drove off, leaving their hostage prone on the sidewalk.

"Are you okay?!" Soap asked, kneeling down beside her. Her eyes were closed, and she couldn't seem to catch her breath. Soap gently shook her shoulder. "Hey, wake up. Can you hear me? Wake up." She whimpered slightly. Soap quickly lifted her head and tucked his jacket under it,  hoping to stop the bleeding from the back of her head. "Oh god, I'm so sorry," he said. "I'm so sorry." She mouthed something at him, but no words came out.

His hands shook as he took his phone from his pocket and dialed 999.

"I was in the bank robbery on Churchill Street! I have a woman with a blow to the head! Please get an ambulance!" He hung up, cradling the girl's head.

"Hang on, love....help is on the way....just hang on...okay? You're gonna be fine."

She was breathing normally. Soap put his ear next to her mouth, checking her breathing rate. He let out the breath he was holding. "Thank God...stay awake...you need to stay awake, love."

She opened her eyes briefly before letting them close again. Her face looked pale and sweaty.

"You'll be fine...you're gonna be alright....they're gone...please stay awake."

[galladegamer]

HUGE DHMIS SPOILERS AHEAD

I think I might've figured it out.

I was thinking about the possible story with Lesley and how Yellow guy runs on batteries when I realized...what if the different episodes' subjects have something to do with it? So here's my theory: Once, there was a family (Episode 3). The mom was named Lesley, the dad was named Roy, and the kid was named David (the name on the tombstone and the D on yellow guy's shirt) (another thing to note is that in episode 3, Duck shows pictures of a random family, which could possibly be Lesley, Roy, and David). Lesley was at work (Episode 1) so Roy told David to make friends with the neighbors (Episode 4). The neighbors gave David a bird (little baby pigeon?) who flew into the street. David chased after the bird, but in a series of gruesome events, was hit by a car (Episode 5) and died (Episode 2). This is what we saw in that one Claymation scene in episode 5 (notice how panicked Lesley sounds in this scene, as if she's losing a son, which if this theory is true, she is). Roy becomes quiet and reclusive, metaphorically eating up whatever family they have left (just like how he ate the family in episode 3). Lesley, meanwhile, has to go to therapy (Carehound). This didn't work (notice how nonsensical the elevator's therapy speech is) so she decided on a DIFFERENT coping mechanism. She decided to bring her son back (like how Yellow guy brings duck back in episode 2 (which is also the exact same way that Lesley puts a replacement duck figurine there in episode 6 (notice how both times their heads get taken off))). What she did was she make a new version of David. A robotic version (Episode 6). She then decided to give her new robotic son (not biological, which is the reason for the "You're not my real son" outburst. Notice she doesn't say "You're not my son", she says "You're not my REAL son"). She decided to make a reboot of a show her kid once starred in. A show created by her husband and a friend of his. A show called "Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared." Red Guy doesn't know he's in a show this time, which is why he's more aloof now.

Then we get to the book. I have three different theories on what that book could've contained before it got shredded.

An incantation for the council

This is basically if everything I just said was completely wrong and instead it's some sort of demonic thing about something. Not much to say here, except that if it's true, then maybe it's a good thing that yellow guy shredded it.

2. The script

This one is one that I personally really like. It would make sense after all. The thing is that there isn't much to say about it other than that.

3. A scrapbook

This one might seem weird, but there's a chance that it's a scrapbook of David when he was alive. It would work with my current theory and I think it would also work with how Lesley acts. She would like Yellow Guy to know who he once was. The only thing that strains this option is why would she want the others to see it? Would it really matter if they did?

This multiple theory thing goes for the stairs too, because I have some theories on who could be a floor above Lesley.

The council

If you remember, in Episode 2, Lamp speaks about some organization named the council. I think at some point in Episode 5, someone talks about "the ancient ones" as well, but I can't remember very well. They seem like such weird comments that they can't just be jokes.

2. The director

There's a chance that Lesley isn't the only one working on this show. There could be a director that works on the basic scripts and then Lesley fine tunes them.

3. Roy

Seeing as Roy is Yellow guy's dad this could also be very likely. Who knows? Maybe Roy IS the director.

So that's my personal theory about the Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared TV show. I only saw each episode once, so it's not completely fine tuned just yet, but I still think it could all be very interesting, especially since there are still things I have yet to talk about. Here's a list of other possible things that could be important.

Why would an uncle be "in the distance" in episode 3?

The big boy and bigger boy rooms aren't just one off jokes, they appear in Lesley's model of the home.

Was yellow guy always smart? After all, he was only dumb because of bad batteries.

Why was red guy so desperate to leave the house in episode 5?

In episode 2 of the original YouTube series, Yellow guy says "My dad is a computer." Is Roy a robot too? Does the original YouTube series even have anything to do with the TV series?

After Lesley said yellow guy wasn't her real son, she said she was kidding.

Why can dumb yellow guy see smart yellow guy in reflections and vice versa?

The shovel appeared as a teacher in DHMIS 6 of the original YouTube series

Speaking of the shovel, did Lesley dig up David's corpse and use it to make the robot like how Yellow guy digs up duck?

All of these questions are being left without answers, which is why we all try to answer them in different ways. But we always say any other theory that doesn't go with our theory is wrong. That's just not true. As Becky once said in an interview, "We've read a lot of theories online about what it all means and they are all correct.