#I live in the world where Jackson never left and stays in the pack

[takaraphoenix]

I don't know why, but 2024 really is the year of missing the Hale Pack for me :(

I miss Derek having the chance to become a real alpha

I miss Erica and Boyd getting the chance to return to the pack and live

I miss snarky bastard uncle Peter in the corner

I miss getting to explore Isaac living with Derek and finding a home

I miss Pack Mom Stiles

Heck, I miss Jackson getting the chance to find a place where he belongs instead of being written off

[heartpascal]

hoping there’s somewhere to go

▹— joel miller x platonic!reader + tommy miller x platonic!reader

▹— summary: you try to navigate life after the rejection of the only family you’d ever had (part two of weight too heavy to hold alone)

▹— a/n: the song too much time in my house alone by leith ross inspired this <3 longer A/N at the end!

▹— warnings: angst (as always), isolation, and then self isolation, mention of christmas time but it’s not christmas, a winter’s dinner that isn’t christmas dinner, fears being proven correct, very little self worth, it has been a long while since i have written/posted/needed to put warnings so let me know if something is missing!!!

▹— taglist: @rhymingtree @sleepygraves @wnstice (everything) @auggiesolovey @just-kaylaa @evyiione @lemonlaides @fariylixie0915  @faceache111 @randomhoex @canpillowscry @pedropascalsrealgf @star-wars-lover @coolchick333 @soobsdior @rvjaa  @sunflowersdrop @definitely-not-a-seagull-i-swear @miss-celestial-being (pedro) — please let me know if you want to be added/removed

MASTERLIST

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Jackson is cold in winter.

And it’s not just because of the weather.

There’s winter festivities, holidays that you had never really had any experience with. And because of the weather, patrols were undertaken by smaller groups, leaving crowds of people wandering the streets, or trying to find work within the small community. So, not only was it cold and miserable, but it was about ten times as crowded in the communal spaces, with everybody packing into every space possible in order to preserve their warmth.

That’s not even the worst part — there’s the whole focus on family, or whatever a person in the apocalypse might have that’s close enough to it.

Holidays bring people together, Tommy had told you once, about a year ago. It wasn’t long after you had first arrived in Jackson, traipsing through the gate alone, aside from the patrollers who escorted you there.

The thing was, though, that you didn’t have people.

And it wasn’t as if you were wanting them! That definitely wasn’t the case — you couldn’t bear getting close to anybody, after what had happened last time — but you couldn’t help the more prominent feeling of isolation. You knew you weren’t alone in your feelings, after all, there were plenty of Jackson residents who had nobody, or resented the holiday season for one reason or another, but you felt alone.

You’re allowed to feel bitter about it, even if you do want to stay that way. It’s not like you had always felt this way, there was a time when you had thought yourself close to having a family — whatever the hell that was. In spring, if somebody had told you that you might feel this way, you might have disbelieved them, might have had faith in Joel and Ellie, despite your reservations. But then everything there had fallen apart, and you were left like this.

Living on your own, halfway across town, closer to Tommy, but further away than ever.

It was like that gaping hole in your chest had reopened with a vengeance, sucking any amount of trust or affection you had for the man into a void where it couldn’t be found. If Tommy hadn’t stuck you with Joel and Ellie, you might not be feeling like this — feeling so cold, and alone, and frozen despite the world moving around you. If he had just minded his business, or even, maybe, if he had just looked after you himself, rather than passing you off as nothing more than a chore, you could’ve been something at least close to happy.

Instead, you’re here. Making the short trip back from the school he had forced you to start going to, heading back to the little space you were supposed to call home. It wasn’t home, though. You had never occupied a space that had felt anything even close to that before, other than Joel’s. You’re pretty sure you’ll never live anywhere like that again.

You’ll probably live here, in the shitty garage that Tommy had someone convert for you, for the rest of your life. Either that, or until they finally have enough of you, and kick you out. Whichever came first.

Really, you should be used to being on your own. To having to do everything yourself, be responsible for every aspect of your own life, but strangely, after Joel’s, you find it hard to go back to that. Balancing things has never been your strong suit, and this only goes to prove that. And it’s aggravating, feeling as though something within you had changed, feeling as though you’re no longer capable, when you had spent your whole life looking after yourself.

Feeling like this has had you thinking some incredibly stupid things, your mind at one point trying to convince you that the only way to prove that you were capable, was to go back out into the big open world. Luckily for you, your survival instincts are stronger than that, and you’re able to remind yourself that Jackson is the best possible place for you, regardless of whatever thoughts and feelings you were having.

Besides, you wouldn’t want to give any of them — them being Joel, Tommy and Ellie — the satisfaction of your leaving. If they wanted you gone, they’d have to tell you as much, this time.

It was clear to you now, that they hadn’t wanted you there in the first place. And given the distance between you and Ellie since Joel had gotten rid of you, you gathered that, despite what you believed to be a close bond, she had never wanted you around either. She seemed happy enough, gallivanting around the town with her few friends, friends she had never even bothered to introduce you to. At least that meant you weren’t missing anything. Maybe she had actually done you a favour. Although given the way she avoided your gaze like her life depended on it, every time you happened across her, you somehow doubted that.

You’re not sure which loss was worse. Despite how close you had grown to Joel, how attached you had become, Ellie was the first person your age who you had ever trusted. You had told her things that you had never spoken aloud to anyone before. And now, you were left with a constant weight of regret, of dread, in the pit of your stomach.

Selfishly, you wanted Ellie to be angry at Joel for getting rid of you. You wanted her to fight for you, wanted her to remain in your corner when everybody else opposed you. What you really wanted, though, was for somebody to choose you. You wanted to feel important to somebody.

Though, now, you think you’ve outgrown that childish desire. You don’t want anyone around you, anymore.

Not even Tommy.

“Kid, would you just open the damn door?” Tommy asked, speaking to the plain face of your front door. He had knocked three times before opening his mouth, growing exasperated by your cold shoulder. He knew you were in there — had seen you walk home after school, when he was finishing a job just around the corner. Besides, where else would you be?

You stayed silent, sitting on the unmade sheets of your bed, staring at the door as Tommy knocked once again.

“C’mon, open the door. Please?” He repeated, and you could practically picture his stance outside, one arm resting against the doorframe and one hand resting against his hip. “Just wanna talk, alright? Then I’ll be on my way.”

You heard the heaviness of his sigh from your space across the room. But it didn’t change anything for you. How could it? Tommy had sent you to his brother, he had known what his brother was like, and he had sat idly by while you were uprooted and sent across town like you didn’t matter. Just another inconvenience. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he was also forcing you to go to Jackson’s community school, run primarily by an almost 70 year old woman, who was meant to retire a year after the outbreak.

It was ridiculous and unfair.

Ellie didn’t have to go to school.

It just felt like another method of getting you out of the way. After all, what did you need with writing and reading? Mathematics and history? The world had ended before you were even born.

Besides, you knew for a fact that Tommy had volunteered to take Ellie out shooting soon. Despite her avoiding you, you could still hear her boasting about it in the canteen to her friends.

You couldn’t help but feel like it should’ve been you. After all, weren’t you the one without anybody? Weren’t you the one who would be alone, should Jackson fall apart? Ellie would have Tommy and Maria. She would have Joel. Who would you have? Nobody.

If Tommy Miller had ever actually cared about you, perhaps he would’ve helped you work on the issues you’d been facing when you went to him for help, rather than passing you off to his older brother. You had spent your entire life depending on only yourself. Tommy had no idea what it had taken for you to approach him, for you to want help. To have that thrown back in your face, you knew, had done damage. As if you weren’t already damaged enough.

It was something you had been aware of for a long time — that there was something wrong about you. Something rotten. Like something had crawled into your chest, into the gaping cavity between your ribs, and died in there. It had been decaying over the years, leaving an air about you that told everybody exactly what you had always known: you are unsalvageable. Nothing in this world could reverse the decomposition that had occurred inside of you, just like nothing could reverse the infection that had taken the family you had never known.

The whole thing made you feel foolish, really. Your whole life, a voice inside of your head had been telling you that nobody could help you. Nobody would help you. And when you had finally gathered the courage to prove that voice wrong? It was proven right instead. It was a kick in the teeth. A thorn underneath your fingernail. Something bothersome, painful.

Tommy Miller had proven that you were just as alone as you had always felt.

He knocked against your door again, apparently content to wait you out. You had nowhere to go, but the knocking was irritating, the knowledge of his presence outside of that door was grating.

Before you could think better of it, you made your way over, and opened the door.

He looked the same as he always had done. Dressed for the weather, his favourite pair of boots on, and hair pushed away from his face, which held a surprised expression.

“Hey, kid.” He said, finally, after a moment of just staring at you in shock. It had been a while since Tommy had seen you up close. You looked more tired than he remembered.

“What do you want?” You asked, forgoing any sort of greeting towards the man. Opening the door was about as generous as you were prepared to be towards him.

His face morphed slightly, shock ebbing away, regret flowing in at the creases by his eyes, the grimace of his mouth. “Right, uh,” He paused, looking into your converted garage through the gap between you and the door. You pulled the door closer, so only you fit into the gap. “Alright, so, I know things have been… tense, between everybody, but I was hopin’ that you might join us. Me ‘n Maria are doin’ a winter’s dinner, not exactly Christmas, but it’s a day to be with family, y’know?” Tommy rambled on a bit, trying to spit all of his words out before you could decline, or shut the door in his face.

“We’re not family, Tommy.”

You watched his expression fall, which provided you with a sting that you hadn’t expected. But the sentiment remained the same — you weren’t family. Your surname wasn’t Miller. And even if it were, with the state of things between you, Tommy and Joel? It definitely wasn’t something you’d call family.

Honestly, you weren’t sure why he was coming to you with this now. Maybe before Joel had rejected you, before Tommy had watched on as any trust you had was shattered, but now? Now, he was lucky you even opened the door. You didn’t have a family, and it wasn’t a big loss to you. You’d gone this long without one, so what did it matter?

Tommy’s mouth opened and closed a few times, and he shifted uncomfortably on his feet. He was at a loss for words.

“Go home, okay?” You said, when his words continued to fail him. He swallowed, jaw clenched as his teeth gritted together. He was frustrated, though you doubted that was directed at you. More likely, was that it was directed at Joel. You knew things had been tense between the two of them recently, too.

He paused just as he was about to turn away. “Will you think about it, at least?” Tommy asked, though he didn’t look like he wanted to hear your answer. It wasn’t much of a question anyway.

You nodded, with no real intention of thinking about it. Well — no intention of thinking about attending. Thinking about the offer was a different story.

His shoulders deflated as he turned away, hearing you shut the door as he followed the path away from your place.

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Even a full twenty four hours after Tommy had approached you with his invitation, you couldn’t let it go.

It felt as though something within you had snapped, falling from a great height and landing in the pit of your stomach. For whatever reason, one that you couldn’t get into now, maybe ever, you were filled to the brim with dread. It bubbled over, pooling in your limbs and making everything feel far too heavy.

You couldn’t understand why he couldn’t just let you be? Couldn’t he see that he had done more than enough, when it came to you?

Logically, you know it isn’t fair to blame him. Tommy wasn’t in control of anything his brother or pseudo-niece did. He had always tried to look out for you, and deep down, you know that he had truly believed that his brother would be good for you. He must have thought that, given Joel’s pre-outbreak experience, and now post-outbreak too, of being a father, he could’ve been that for you. Tommy couldn’t have known that Joel didn’t want another kid.

But that illogical part of you, the part that cowers away from everybody you meet, the part that was hurt, reminds you that it was his job to know. It was his responsibility to know what he was dumping you into. And more than that, Joel was his brother. How could he not have known?

You were the one who had ended up well and truly hurt from the encounter, not the other way around. So why did you feel guilty, every time Tommy’s expression at your scathing words popped into your mind? You hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true, and you hadn’t said anything that he didn’t deserve to hear. So why? Why did you feel this unending twist of dread and guilt, eating away at your bones, your tissues, your organs?

Even now, as you worked a late night shift at the canteen, washing dishes, every time the water rippled, you could see his face. Distantly, you hoped Joel had felt like this, after what he had done to you. You hoped he remembered what he said, remembered your expression when you relayed his own message to him.

If you were honest with yourself, you think that if it had been Joel, you would’ve revelled in that expression. There’s a part of you, a part that is mean and bitter and full of resentment, that wants to hurt Joel, just like he had hurt you. You settle for staying as far away from him as you possibly can.

Joel had tried to see you a few times, back when it was fresh, with no luck from you. There was nobody in this world that you wanted to see less than him. At the very least, he got the message. Sometimes, you wonder if he had only shown up those few instances just for appearances. To make himself look better. It was no secret to the people of Jackson that Joel Miller was a questionable man, with an even more questionable past. But he did more for the town than most, so it wasn’t spoken about. Nothing more than whispers, anyway.

There had been a few whispers after your outburst at the Tipsy Bison, especially when somebody shared the news of your move across town. But it was chalked up to teenage dramatics, the youth, as if there really was such a thing.

Regardless, Tommy’s invitation to dinner was coming up in a mere two days. The knowledge of where and when it was happening made you uncomfortable, like an itch underneath your collar, it was stifling. Because that part of you, the one that wants to hurt Joel, also wants company. It craves a family, and that was a craving that had only ever come close to being fulfilled once. Still, it was a natural instinct within humans. Safety came in numbers, and there was comfort in having people you could trust. You wish that part of you could just be satisfied being solitary, because you’ll never go to that dinner. Not if you have anything to say about it.

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Two hours until dinner, and the sun was beginning to set.

And here you were, axe in hand, staring down at the dwindling pile of wood that you needed to cleave into pieces. It wouldn’t last two hours. In reality, it wouldn’t even last one. Still, you stare as though the logs might multiply, hoping for the excuse out of a dinner you didn’t want to go to. And you know that you have no obligation to any of those people, you do know that, but it’s hard to believe it. Partly because you don’t want to. Because you’re torn between the satisfaction of succeeding on your own, and the fear of cutting off all ties to the only people you think you’ve truly cared about.

Being alone is a lot easier in theory.

In practice, it’s harder than you had thought. You were doing okay when they all left you to it, left you to live your own life. But an invitation means something, and that’s hard to ignore.

You bring the axe down, letting the severing of wood distract you from all thoughts of invitations and dinners and meanings.

It’s about the most physical task they’ll let you do — courtesy of Tommy, you’re sure — but you relish in it. Something about it is rewarding. Reminds you of your capabilities, your survival. The cold air burns your lungs, and each swing of the axe makes your muscles ache, but in a satisfying way. And doing it like this, alone, makes you feel unmistakably powerful.

You hear the crunch of footsteps behind you, not heavy enough to be Tommy’s or—God forbid—Joel’s. You paid them no mind, leaning down to move the chopped wood into the pile you had already assembled. You grabbed another log and placed it down, and just as you were preparing to swing the axe back up, you heard somebody clear their throat.

“Hey,” Ellie said, when you turned around. She shifted uncomfortably on her feet as you failed to reply, fiddling with the gloves on her hands. “So, uh, you having fun chopping wood?” She asked, apparently trying to clear some of the tension that surrounded the two of you, that clung. You leant the top of the axe blade on the ground, and sighed. Your breath clouded in front of your face.

“What do you want?” You asked, repeating the very same question you had asked Tommy, feeling all the more certain about your adamancy about not going to that dinner. Ellie’s brows furrowed slightly, but she quickly deflated as soon as you could see the defensive air starting to rise within her.

She shifted again, before speaking. “Just wondering if you’re coming to dinner? Tommy said he wasn’t sure.”

You did your best not to scoff, mostly succeeding, as you turned back to the wood awaiting your axe. With practiced ease, your axe rose, and swung down at the wood, separating it with a satisfying crack. “Wouldn’t count on it.” You said, as polite as you could say: no, no, I’m not fucking coming to dinner. You’re not my family. You don’t care about me. I don’t care about you. There’s nothing left here.

It was ridiculous for them to send Ellie to come and convince you to attend, of all people. Their best bet would have been Maria, who had never technically done anything that had hurt you. No, all of the fault laid with the Millers, and with Ellie.

The two of you could’ve remained friends, could’ve been something close to a family, but she didn’t want that. She chose to cut you out, to isolate you even further, to disappear from your life completely, despite being the only reason you had ever opened up to Joel. It was like she had taken a knife, and cut you open, let you warm, simmer, before leaving you out on the counter to cool. To rot.

“What happened to you?” Ellie asked, as if she didn’t know, as if she hadn’t been a part of it. Like there was no reason for your shift from being warm around her, to being ice cold. She had done this to you. At least, in part.

You didn’t say anything at first, choosing to finish chopping the wood in front of you, and piling it off to the side. Finally, you turned to her as she watched you, brows furrowed, lip curled defensively. “You people happened. You all fucking happened. Is that enough for you? Is that enough for why I don’t want to go to some stupid winter dinner?” You said, not raising your voice, but hearing more anger and irritation seep into your tone as you spoke.

She looked like she wanted to take a step back, but she stayed firm. “We all have our own problems,” Ellie told you, voice harsh and unrelenting as she spoke, and her expression hardened. “Everybody does! It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, okay?”

It would have been so easy to continue arguing with her, to descend into childish taunts and quips, to disguise genuine hurt with ridiculous arguments, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You said nothing, turning back to the depleting supply of unchopped wood.

Ellie seemed ready to burst. “Me and Joel have our own fucking problems! It’s not always good. But you can’t just give up on someone!” She said loudly, stepping towards you, ignoring the snow crunching underneath her shoes. It seemed to you that she was trying to convince herself, more than anything. Whatever she came to you with, now, wasn’t really about you. It was about her.

“I’m not the one who gave up, Ellie. You and Joel are more alike than you know. But at least he had the decency to tell me why he was giving up on me.” You told her, staying calm, despite the way your blood was rushing through your body, carrying so much adrenaline you felt like your heart may just burst.

She gaped at you, seeming more stuck on the concept of her and Joel being alike than on how she had hurt you. You figured it would go like this, though, if the two of you ever spoke again. It wasn’t a surprise to you. Everything in your life always turned out the way you expected it to. Even Joel and Ellie, in the end, had done as much, despite surprising you at first. It was inevitable. Your every worry, every fear, even the ones that Tommy had once labelled as irrational, had turned out to be true.

You wouldn’t go to the dinner.

Everything between you and the extended Miller family was in ruins, and like you, it couldn’t be salvaged. It was over with. Done.

Now, all that was left to do was wipe your hands clean of them.

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A/N: hello if you made it this far! it has been a WHILE. but in honour of ITDWS being posted a year ago today (!!!!!!!!!) i thought i’d give y’all SOMETHING!!! it’s not amazing but i hope you enjoy!!! life has been crazy + i haven’t been writing much but i still love and appreciate every single one of you <3 i think of you often.

[littleliterarylesbian]

thinking about a shadowhunters universe jegulus/marauders au. specifically the TMI era.

Sirius and Regulus being the kids of the leaders of the London (?) institute. Their parents used to be circle members but feigned fear and manipulation. Like the lightwoods they're allowed back into the shadowhunter homeland on important business due to having children. They still very much believe in the ideas of the circle and are incredibly upset that the Black name has been tarnished and have put pressure on Sirius and Regulus to bring them to glory once again.

Remus was the son of a prominent shadowhunter family and during training when he was young he and his father got ambushed by a pack of werewolves. Remus got bitten and, even though it's not a 100% chance a bite means being turned on the next full moon he's locked in his family's basement and writhing in pain as he changes for the first time.

Peter, I imagine, would be a close Hodge equivalent. Not a 1-1 obviously, but close. His parents were Shadowhunters who also followed the circle but died by being ripped apart by demons and he witnessed it. Hatred festering every time he was sent out on the field. Which, sadly, didn't happen often as physically he was behind Sirius and Regulus (which isn't a fair comparison due to the fact that since either of them could properly hold things weapons were shoved in their hands).

Evan and Pandora are warlocks, they're both a bit eccentric in their own ways, and they prefer to keep out of shadowhunter stuff, but Pandora can't help but see Regulus like a sopping wet kitten. Evan is the "official" high warlock of London (again, not sure on location) but they both share the responsibilitys.

Barty is Fae and grew up closed off from most of everything but eventually became close with Evan and Pandora. Barty's family is high up in the court, trusted closely by the Seelie Queen, but he doesn't give a shit. The second that the circle is hinted at returning he jumps at the chance to backstab his father and the court that treats him so poorly.

Dorcas is a vampire and close with Barty since they bonded when she was just a fledgling, one who sticks strongly with the accords. She realizes how bad it would be if the circle were to come back and at first tries to stay out of it before she realizes Barty is a traitor and her coven leader believes that the rules are below them. Which she soon overthrows.

James and Marlene were childhood friends until around age 13 when Marlene kind of disappeared. James' parents wanted to live in a world safe from all the conflict, especially when they found out they were expecting James, so they hid in the mortal world. James doesn't get his memories wiped, it's just more like a Percy Jackson type thing where he tries to bring up the weird stuff he sees, Effie and Monty kind of just gaslight him. They weren't a part of the circle but they were high up in the clave and outwardly against the brutalization of slaughter of innocents. It painted a target on their backs that only worsened overtime and to save their family left.

Lily is a "mundane" and close friends with Marlene and James until Marlene goes missing. Lily is kind of like the Simon equivalent, James and her stay close together, even more so since they never saw Marlene again, and even when James gets dragged into the world Lily sticks by him. Even when she accidentally drinks the wrong thing at a warlock party, ends up as a mouse, and gets turned into a vampire.

at least those were the ideas I had about it

[psychedelic-ink]

© PSYCHEDELIC-INK. do not copy, modify, or translate my work.

TV SHOWS & MOVIES MASTERLIST

PPCU MASTERLIST.

🔮 personal favorite || ☔️ smut || 🤧 angst || 🧁 fluff || 🩸 dark content

Live Wire Under My Skin 🤧

Joel comes back home wounded, and as you clean him up the two of you have a little chat.

Can't Get Enough Of Your Lies 🤧

you accidentally hear Joel grieving, and you do everything you can to comfort him.

I'm Yours to Tame 🤧☔️

Not being able to sleep, you sneak in next to Joel on the bed. You're stirred awake with a still-sleeping Joel grinding his hips into you.

Fire Burning ☔️

joel wants you to sit on his face, you have hesitations.

Burn For Me ☔️🩸

joel looks after you, provides for you, fucks you until the sun comes up; his only ask is that you never leave his apartment, not willing to face another loss. One day when you find the door unlocked, you decide to take stroll, promising yourself that you’ll be back before he returns home.

Love Will Abide ☔️

a retelling of the third episode but with you in it. Starts with Ellie reading Bill's letter.

Well, are you mine? ☔️

joel fucks you in an empty alleyway. that's it, that's the plot

Perfectly Wrong ☔️

Joel thinks you have the car battery that he so desperately needs and doesn’t believe you when you say that you don’t.

Ends Of The Earth ☔️🧁

joel brings you a care pack Maria gave him and you find a razor inside but when you confess your insecurities around the topic, Joel offers to help you out.

So My Darlin' ☔️🧁

you convince joel to have a bubble bath with you.

When You're Reading Me (pre outbreak!joel miller) ☔️🧁

If you had to make a list of things Joel Miller might buy you as a gift— nipple clamps, would not be a part of it. 

Reckless ☔️🤧

It starts with soft touches hidden by the dark. In a world where finding one bed is considered lucky, it means that you and Joel frequently share one. He offers to sleep on the floor, or a tattered couch every time and every time your answer is the same. No. 

aquatic rehabilitation ☔️🧁

Joel has been experiencing knee pain for the past two months. When he finally sees an orthopedist, he learns that he has some minor damage to his meniscus. The doctor prescribes him anti-inflammatory medication and physical therapy, recommending swimming. At the pool, he meets you.

Spitfire ☔️🤧

joel x tess

To put it simply, Tess did not want to exist but did so anyway. She stared blankly at everyone and everything. Her mind and heart urged her to make the smart choices. She was quick to eliminate the possibilities that might cause her death. She assessed the weak links of the group. Stayed clear away from them. 

Smart choices. She blamed that part of herself for wanting to approach the Millers.

Or alternatively, the story of how Joel and Tess met and how they came to be.

Rises the Moon ☔️🧁

As the man responsible for operating the lighthouse, Joel lives a solitary life on the isolated coast. He has no complaints, enjoying the hauntingly beautiful songs that echo from the sea at night. One stormy night, he rescues a mysterious mermaid tangled in a fishing net. As you recover in the lighthouse, the two form an unlikely bond and find comfort in each other's company.

Cry Baby ☔️🩸

slasher au (still takes place in the tlou'verse) + sex in the woods or somewhere public (added bonus if it includes knife, blood, hunter x prey kink)

bodies have been dropping left and right in the most brutal ways in jackson. as the relentless wave of deaths continues, your mind becomes increasingly restless. however, you find a sense of comfort and solace in the presence of joel. who might be hiding secrets of his own.

On Your Mark ☔️

cyberpunk au + fallen angel au + “i will keep hurting. i will keep killing. anything to protect you.”

you and tess go in to dismantle a cult, neither of you were expecting to find a rugged fallen angel being experimented on.

Distracted ☔️

woodshop teacher!joel miller x f!reader

there are many advantages to enrolling in a woodshop class: drawing you away from not-so-happy thoughts, relearning something that you enjoyed doing when you were a kid, and, well, the sight of watching mr. miller do something he’s undeniably good at.

Hoofbeats (feat jack daniels) ☔️

joel challenges jack to make you into the finest there possibly is in two days.

Biting Down ☔️

body piercer!joel miller x f!reader

you finally go and get your nipples pierced.

That Pretty Girlfriend ☔️

When your boyfriend is desperate to win back what he lost, he bets on you this time without your knowledge. And everyone knows you don't go back on your word when it comes to Joel Miller.

'my girl now ☔️

joel is used to asshole clients, and when one of them calls him an old man and basically demands him to finish his girlfriend's kitchen in time, he expects you to be the same. But you're the opposite. when he learns how you've been treated, he comes up with a plan to get back at your boyfriend.

Can You See His Silhouette? 🧁

 you get your period and without anything to help you with it, you’re mortified. Luckily Joel is there to help.

From My Skin to Yours ☔️🤧

joel survives and finds life deep inside of you.

Burning Pile 🤧 hero/villain au + one takes care of the other’s injuries

the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Wildflower ☔️

after seeing a delivery of supposedly aphrodisiac petals, you give them a try, convinced that they wouldn't work. Joel finds you in a not-so-professional position.

Sleepy Hollow ☔️🧁

a typical morning in jackson.

Light Petplay thoughts w/ joel miller ☔️

Exile 🤧☔️

Runners. Stalkers. Clickers. Shamblers. Bloaters.

Domestics.

All infected. One unlike the other.

You expect the infection to eat you from the inside out, turning you into something horrid. But instead, you find yourself with leaf-shaped ears and antlers that belong to a deer. While you live out the rest of your days trying to adjust to your new features and survive, you meet Joel, a survivor just like you but with a more grim approach to life.

Both of you adopt the forest as your home. One wants the other gone, meanwhile the other will do anything to not be left alone.

Stay In Bed 🤧☔️🧁

joel miller x reader, onesided tommy miller x reader

After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance. The reason for this is due to one crucial fact you don’t know but he does; Tommy has a crush on you. Which means you’re off limits no matter what. But as your own feelings for Joel grow, things start to get more and more complicated.

Head Filled With Parasites (musician!joel miller) ☔️

One night you decide to visit a bar all by yourself. There you meet a guitarist, Joel miller, and things escalate from there. Here you'll find snippets and one-shots of the relationship.

Dark Hearted People ( joel miller x reader x ezra)

Trying to reach Tommy, you and Joel meet a charming stranger. He persuades the two of you into helping him find his stolen equipment. During your travels, none of you expect to fall for one another.

Behind The Velvet Rope ☔️

(bodyguard!joel miller x actress!reader x dieter bravo)

a grumpy bodyguard, an eccentric actor, and you, who is thrust into the limelight. What can go wrong? The three navigate the challenges of Hollywood, tensions may arise and conflicts may occur but they’ll always have each other to lean on.

Ravish Masterlist ☔️

(webcam model!reader x joel miller, no outbreak)

Joel, only now starting to feel the impending sense of loneliness, decides to listen to Tommy and sign up on an online streaming service called Ravish.

Followed The Beast 🤧

You, both a member of David's group and one of his former victims, are already contemplating escape when Ellie arrives at the resort. Seeking Ellie, you decide to take advantage of the unexpected opportunity to run. But before you can find Ellie, you cross paths with Joel instead.

How Mr Miller Stole Christmas ☔️🤧🧁

enemies to lovers, fake dating, roommates, close proximity, age gap

You're the sole firefly that Joel spared in his pursuit to free Ellie from the hospital bed. You have no idea what it was—maybe it was the fact that you were significantly younger than the other soldiers, maybe it was because you were already out the door when he pointed a gun at you— no matter what it was you were miraculously spared from the bloodshed. Weeks later you find yourself in Jackson, wanting to leave the past behind. But of course, life has other plans. It always does.

No one knows what Joel did. No one except for you. And when you threaten the thinly veiled peace he managed to build for himself, he has you by the throat and against the wall. When people from the town see this in order to save face you kiss him, blurting out that you two are dating.

Rumors spread like wildfire and when a new family comes in, Tommy offers that they stay at your house and you to stay with Joel since you're already "dating".

Now you're stuck with each other with no way out. It's either keep the dating charade going or for the whole town—and Ellie—to learn the truth.

[midnightsnyx]

what if i told you (i love you) part 2 - joel miller

pairing: joel miller!fem reader

chapter summary: when joel and ellie's stay turns out to be longer than expected, you have to figure out how you're going to deal with having him around. word count: 1.9k warnings: insinuated smut, angst, mentions of death, mentions of abortion, little bit of fluff(?), and ellie being a cool big sister! let me know if i missed anything please. also this isn't edited lol sorry authors note: GUYS!!!! WHAT THE HECK! thank you all so so so much from the very bottom of my heart for all the love on the story. comments, reblogs, and likes feed my angsty writing soul <3 y'all are the best! please take caution to the warnings for this chapter and read safely <3 if anyone wants to send thoughts, suggestions ect, here is my ask box. and lastly, if you want to be added to my tag list please fill out this super short form here <3 oh one more thing! I know last chapter was in past tense but I hate writing that unless I’m doing flashbacks so from now on, it’s all present tense unless I do a flashback

masterlist what i write series masterpost

Boston 2018

The first time you could blame it on the bad liquor. The second time, you could say it was the adrenaline from nearly getting killed by a pack of clickers but the third time you found yourself underneath Joel Miller, there was nobody to blame but yourself. You’d been working with him and Tess for a couple years and always thought the two of them were together. However, while on a supply run with just Tess about a year after you met them, you discovered that while there was an initial attraction, things were strictly business between them. You really had no plans to deal with the man further than supply runs and trades but after you had a taste of what could be, you didn’t want to go without. 

You knew that things weren’t exclusive and never would be. It was simply a way for the both of you to blow off steam in this shitty world so after you missed your period not once, but twice, you realized that things might be more complicated than you had planned. Approaching Joel about the situation was not something you were looking forward to so you confided in Tess, who after scolding you, said you had two options. She knew a person who “took care of these problems” and could get your situation resolved with little to no damage or you could do what she thought was unfair, and bring a new life into the world that had become so cruel, most didn’t want to live anyway. You weighed your options for about a week, avoiding Joel whenever he tried to get you alone because all you wanted to do was blurt out that you were pregnant to get it off your chest but somehow, you knew how he would react. 

Everybody had lost someone during the outbreak and although it was never confirmed by Joel, you knew he’d lost a child. Somewhere inside you, there was a small hope that maybe this tiny little life inside you could help fill some of the void but it was smashed when you eventually told him.

His cold expression and cold words were hurtful but not unexpected. 

“How could you be so careless?” 

You’d argued with him for over an hour, the whole “it takes two to tangle” argument but eventually you had enough and told him if he wanted nothing to do with it, this was the time because you weren’t going to wait around forever. So when his last words to you were “leave”, you decided then and there that you were done with Joel Miller. You’d waited a few weeks after Tess asked you to even though you knew that he wouldn’t come around. The day you left, you said goodbye to Tess, telling her where you planned to go and told her if Joel asked about you, not to tell him anything. If you could help it, you planned to never see Joel again.

Jackson, Wyoming 2023

Much to your dismay, Joel is at the dining hall the next morning. He’s sitting with Tommy and Ellie but you can feel his eyes on you while you watch Jack eat his breakfast. It’s like a repeat of yesterday, only this time you’re worried that Hazel may have actually poisned his food. She grumbled when he walked in the doors but didn’t say much. 

Ellie eventually makes her way over to where you and Jack are sitting, shyly asking if she can sit with you and play with Jack. You hesitate but Jack gives you puppy eyes and you can never say no to him. Some of his facial expressions always reminded you of Joel but with the man actually being here now, you’re noticing it much more. You look over at him and his eyes are locked on the three of you sitting together so you look back at Ellie.

“So…” you begin, waiting for her to look up at you and when she does, you can see the mischievous look in her eyes. 

“You’re gonna ask me about Joel,” she grins, “y’know, he was talking to Tommy about you last night. They thought I was asleep but there was a lot of yelling.” 

“What exactly were they saying?” you ask, and she looks back at Jack, taking the piece of food he offers her. 

“I dunno, Joel was grumpy that Tommy didn’t tell him that you were here but Tommy told Joel that you didn’t want him to know,” she says, “he’s always grumpy though, so that’s nothing new.” 

You weren’t planning on asking her but you’re dying to know how exactly Joel ended up dragging a teenager all the way to Wyoming. 

“What’s the deal with you and Joel?” you ask, “not a long lost kid, are you?” 

She just laughs and shakes her head, “nah, I mean he acts like a dad but he’s just fulfilling a request from someone. I’m just cargo.” 

She says it non-chalantly but something in her expression changes, so small you barely notice. It’s there though but before you can question her further, she turns the tables back to you.

“What the deal with you and Joel? I mean, clearly the kid is his… did he-”

“Ellie,” a voice cuts in and you both jump, not noticing that Joel somehow snuck up on the both of you. Before either of you can answer, a little voice speaks up.

“Hi,” Jack says, waving at Joel who once again, looks shocked that there’s a child there. The boy offers him a handful of mushed up fruit and you watch as Joel hesitantly accepts it. 

You’ve watched Joel take down countless clickers and raiders so it amuses you that a toddler scares him. 

Jack takes a loud slurp of his water and tries to hand it to Joel before you take it from him, rolling your eyes. Ellie is watching the interaction with amusement and you can even see Tommy from across the hall, watching closely. 

“Who’re you?” Jack asks, trying to pass Joel more food. You take his plate, ignoring his grumbling. Another thing that Jack does that reminds you of Joel are his mood swings. Some days he is a chatterbox and others, you can barely get a peep out of him. Those days, he reminds you of Joel. 

When Joel looks at you, this time with panic written across his face, you shrug. You’re beginning to find this amusing because who knew all it would take is a toddler to break the big Joel Miller.

“Ellie, I have to go with Tommy for a bit. Don’t leave the four walls of this town,” he points at her when she raises her hands in defense, “I told Maria to keep an eye on you.”

“Don’t worry old man, I think I’ll hang out with these two,” she tells him but then shyly looks at you, “if that's alright.” 

You nod and watch as her face lights up. She goes back to talking to the little boy sitting next to her and you look at Joel who is shifting uncomfortably. 

“Uh, thanks,” he mumbles without looking at you before quickly walking back to Tommy. You watch the two of them leave, the older man casting one more glance you way before his brother pats him on the back firmly.

“He’s got it bad for you,” Ellie says absently, “like real bad. Were you two like, together?”

You stare at her for a solid minute, wondering where the hell this kid came from. Was she this blunt before? Or has Joel corrupted her?

“It’s complicated, and a long story.”

“Is it longer than a week? ‘Cause I think that’s how long we’re staying,” she says and you hide a frown. You’re still trying to find out exactly why they’re here and now you find out they’re only staying a week? You can’t decide if you are relieved or disappointed. 

“Why don’t we go for a walk?” You offer, wanting to get out of this conversation because talking about your non existent relationship with Joel to a 14 year old is at the bottom of your to-do list. “Jack likes seeing the sheep and horses.”

Ellie grins and you can’t help but smile when she offers her hand to Jack who accepts it eagerly. You can tell she’s trying to fill a void and you’re beginning not to mind.

. . .

Later that night after Jack is long asleep, you sit outside on your porch wrapped up in a winter jacket and blanket. It’s cold but you need some fresh air to try and get your thoughts straightened out. Ellie tried to bring up yours and Joel’s history multiple times but eventually gave up on it once she realized you weren’t going to say anything. You haven’t seen Joel since this morning, spending the day with Ellie and Jack, then eating dinner and dropping the girl off at the house she and Joel are staying at before going back to your own and putting your kid to bed.

Joel showing up out of the blue is bringing back too many memories, some good but some bad. 

Suddenly, a voice breaks you out of your thoughts and you curse Joel Miller again for sneaking up on you. Being in Jackson so long is making you let your guard down too much.

“Hey,” he says, standing at the bottom of your porch steps awkwardly, “the kid gone to bed?” 

Small talk. He is trying to make small talk. 

“What do you want, Joel?” You ask shortly, half wanting to leave before he says anything else but if he is seeking you out, you want to know what he is looking for from you.

“I, uh, I wanted to say thanks,” he says stumbling over his words, “for entertaining Ellie today. She was real pleased-”

“I didn’t do it for you,” you snap, “she’s a good kid.”

He just nods, staring at the ground and scuffing his boots on the dirt. You watch as he clears his throat and looks up at you, a sadness in his eyes that you’re not sure you’ve ever seen.

“Tess is gone,” he says, and even though you had your suspicions since she’s not with him and he travelling all the way here, his words feel like a punch in the stomach. 

“How?” 

“She got bit on our way here,” he tells you and you just nod, swallowing back tears. Six years ago, you might’ve let him comfort you but all you want now is to yell or scream at him. Ellie wouldn’t tell you why they were here or why she was with Joel and you know you won’t get anything out of him. You know the only reason for his late night visit is to break the news about Tess.

When you stand up, his mouth opens to protest but he just offers you the closest thing he has to a smile. It’s pitiful. 

You turn to walk inside but his voice stops you. Refusing to look at him, you pause but stay facing the door.

“He seems like a good kid,” he says quietly and you know he’s referring to Jack.

There’s a million things you can say to him, you can turn around and yell or scream at him. You could ask him why? Why did you push me away when I needed you? Why didn’t you want Jack? What hurt you so bad, that you couldn’t accept him?

Instead, you walk inside your house and close the door behind you.

. . .  

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[azraphels]

I found this draft in my notes! it's a draft from when I wrote "Wolf Pack ChatFic" and when I reread it I was going crazy at how much it was... ANYWAY Theo left and went to France because he's hosted by Isaac and with him are Jackson, Malia, Isaac and Kira!

➤01:45 Missed Call: THEODORK

━━ Hello! I mean - how should I - has the registration already started? Oh fuck! Anyway! I'm Liam leave a message!

"Even living with assholes with poles up their asses, I didn't know wolves could get drunk like that."

Liam wondered how much Theo had been drinking at that very moment. And then endless other thoughts ran through his mind ranging from how he wanted to see him just for laughs, to how cute he was with that mumbling voice of his.

But then he paused on a thought that probably would never have crossed his mind and that made him doubt himself:

'I would have liked him to drink with me for the first time'

It was just a fleeting thought, it hurt to even think about letting it out of a part of his brain; but having thought of it, as if the frontal lobe that generates his devil of such confused emotions were playing with throwing them like such strong football blows against his cerebellum, making him lose his balance and his ability to be able to pay attention to the rest of the world, with the ball then bouncing against his temporal lobe trying to imagine Theo's face in exactly that frame where he was so close to Liam's face that Liam could notice how perfect his little mole on his left cheek was, until it rolled the ball is completely deflated in the brainstem but just like the ball he just can't remember when he completely lost his breath.

These emotions for Liam were something he could never imagine feeling, it was useless to even try to explain why he felt like this, he just felt bad, right?

It was just a bad disease that made him think desperately about just one person!

Like a Virus!

Liam definitely had a Virus!!

After giving himself a light slap on the face to recover, he cracked a smile and then like an idiot he heard that message on his answering machine three more times only to imprint Theo's sweet and seductive warm and hoarse voice in his mind, before deciding to hear the other six messages.

➤02:37 Missed Call: THEODORK

━━ Hello! I mean - how should I - has the registration already started? Oh fuck! Anyway! I'm Liam leave a message

"I can explain! The important thing is that Malia didn't lose an arm! What the fuck. When you play with boats, at least someone has to die on them. No one has been split in two by a ten kilo anchor, it could just be a fucking bad luck"

Liam didn't understand that message left on the answering machine. He should have been reading the messages in the group with everyone else but he just scrolled, it was morning, he had just woken up and found seven messages from Theo from the night before on his answering machine. He didn't have time to read chat messages, or rather, he preferred to hear Theo's voice scolding Scott about how everyone should be more responsible and absolutely not break the sink in Mason's house just because he saw Mason cheating at Monopoly or insults from Stiles about how Theo shouldn't have brought Jackson on his side!

So instead of reading the messages, he rolled up under his blankets and held the phone to his ear, hearing Theo's happy, carefree voice, and still there a part of his brain thought 'how much I wish it was me who made him so happy '. But his brain was kicked again just for staying silent, this time the parietal lobe was fucked up a little!

He rolled up, resting half his face on the pillow and played the voicemail again, Theo's little laugh finally destroying him but also managing to bring him back to life and put him back together.

Theo It was a fucking Virus that was supposed to be eradicated from his body!

➤03:33 Missed Call: THEODORK

━━ Hello! I mean - how should I - has the registration already started? Oh fuck! Anyway! I'm Liam leave a message

"When I first saw them, I thought they were my heroes, that they would take me out of the pain I was feeling, that they would make me happy, just a stupid kid with a life ahead of me... I wish I'd met you that day ... But I was nine? And you were probably 7?

Liam's body became cold, he was still, motionless while that damned sensation of falling from the sky ran down his entire back. His heart clenched at Theo's broken voice, it was as if at any moment he would be destroyed by his own thoughts of him, with his voice cracking and the rustle of his hand in his hair. And from his voice alone she could tell that Theo's heart, Tara's heart was hurting.

He needed to hug him, to feel him close to him and yet his brain was now screaming at him to do something, to say something to him.

But it was just a message left on an answering machine, and Liam cursed himself for not having been awake just to be able to be close to him, to even be able to feel him next to him.

But those words, those words that Theo said in that voice of just wanting to be a dot among so many other vowels and symbols, were grabbing his heart and scratching it.

Could a seven-year-old ever completely change another child's life?

He didn't have the strength to hold back those thoughts, he didn't decide to listen to that message again, he would have cracked too and he couldn't do it, it was only midday!

➤03:56 Missed Call: THEODORK

━━ Hello! I mean - how should I - has the registration already started? Oh fuck! Anyway! I'm Liam leave a message

"Someone 'accidentally' threw their Scott-Exs into the water. Always a funny joke. Sh don't tell anyone.... But it was me"

Theo's voice seemed to have revived with that spark of his that made Liam melt and angry at the same time. How could he even think that a stupid voice so seductive and so fucking divine could be so stupidly stupid sometimes?! That amused little laugh making him seem not only drunk but a little high on weed.

He just wanted so damn much to be next to him, to feel that laughter on his skin.

Had he become mad? Or crazy?

It was this virus that made him feel this way....

Lost?

➤04:28 Missed Call: THEODORK

━━ Hello! I mean - how should I - has the registration already started? Oh fuck! Anyway! I'm Liam leave a message

"I don't know, I wondered what you would have been like as a child, always with those big doe eyes? Did you run away from Jenna? Did you trample on the autumn leaves? I've always hated them, not for the noise they left behind but for the feeling of melancholy, it was in October when they diagnosed me-"

The message stopped immediately, the sentence wasn't complete, Liam didn't know what Theo wanted to say at the end of the message but he had the same feeling as two messages before. Theo needed help, he wanted to run his hands through his hair, smell his scent, know what emotion he smelled like at that precise moment even if he could very well understand it from his voice. Why was Theo only vulnerable when he wasn't in his presence? Or not when their shoulders were touching pleasantly and neither of them wanted to move away even though they knew that misunderstandings would arise if anyone looked at them?

Why could he be when Liam couldn't touch him and feel his breathing one step away from him?

He smiled at the reference to his mother, after all Theo had grown fond of Jenna even if he didn't show it, even if he would never, ever show it because he didn't want to be a burden to anyone or at least Liam thought that Theo didn't he deserved maternal affection and Liam hated that bitter taste that remained in his mouth every single time.

But how did the sentence end? What did Theo want to tell him?

Why did it stop?

He had so many questions to ask Theo, but also none.

He just wanted to see his eyes and drown in him.

➤05:00 Missed Call: THEODORK

━━ Hello! I mean - how should I - has the registration already started? Oh fuck! Anyway! I'm Liam leave a message

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I keep calling you"

Liam wanted to tell him that he would never have to apologize, that he loved his voice, that he wanted to answer him and be able to talk to him.

➤05:02 Missed Call: THEODORK

➤05:04 Missed Call: THEODORK

➤05:05 Missed Call: THEODORK

➤05:06 Missed Call: THEODORK

Liam could only see Theo's uncertainty in calling him again and telling him something else to compromise or not.

➤05:46 Missed Call: THEODORK

━━ Hello! I mean - how should I - has the registration already started? Oh fuck! Anyway! I'm Liam leave a message

"I... I don't know... I need... God... I just... I miss you"

Liam's heart skipped a beat.

[jekyll2life]

Not sure if any other doll collectors do this, but I came up with backstories for most of my dolls. I'm planning on writing fic for them later. But just in case I don’t get around to it, I wanted to share what I had anyway. 

There’s a bit of a fantasy element imbued into it (obviously, because dolls aren’t sentient), but this is just what I like to imagine. 

We’ll start with Jackson, Holt, and Frankie first. Because if I do my entire collection straight out of the gate, this post will get way too long. XD

Anyway, writing under the cut. 

Disclaimer just in case: Most of the human names are ones I made up for the sake of storytelling. 

Jackson Jekyll:

Jackson was given to a child named Lacey for Christmas, amongst a few other toys. He was neither the favorite nor least favorite toy of the collection, and he spent a fair amount of time both being played with and being left in the toybox. Lacey was a gentle child when it came to their toys, so there wasn’t much he needed to worry about in terms of treatment. As Lacey grew into adulthood, Jackson was moved to a shelf. He sat at the top of the shelf, content with living a quiet life of just watching the sun rise and set from a nearby window. Occasionally, he might steal some of Lacey’s books to read, but otherwise his life was pretty uneventful. He never went outside and Lacey hardly interacted with him anymore (Not that he really minded that. He was perfectly content being alone really). He didn’t question it when she picked him up one day and took some pictures of him, only to put him back on the shelf later. 

A few weeks pass, Jackson is taken from his spot on the shelf, shoved into a packing envelope, and is mailed across the country. In that moment, his life changed forever. 

When Jackson first arrived in Jester’s home (Jester is me btw), he was at first dazed, frightened, and confused. Unlike Lacey, Jester was loud and overexcited. Instead of being left alone on a shelf, Jackson was now being brought place to place alongside the new human. He was now seeing and experiencing the outside world, rather than just observing it from a distance. Over time, Jackson came to enjoy his new, more adventurous life. Still, he has moments where he would like to return to the quiet and just stay inside, watching sunrises and sunsets from the window. 

Holt Hyde:

Holt once belonged to a fellow collector, Agnes. Agnes was very particular about how she wanted her dolls to be kept. She had several completed sets, all kept in glass cases in a room with no windows so as to avoid sun damage. Most of the other dolls in the collection were fine with this. They were well taken care of and Agnes visited them on a frequent basis. However, Holt was a troublemaker by nature. He longed to see the world outside the doll room, and being cooped up in one place forever was not the way he wanted to live (even if leaving the doll room meant his lifespan would be dramatically shorter). 

Holt attempted to break out of the doll room on multiple occasions, including opening the glass case from the inside and jumping out. He once got so close as to opening the front door of the house and nearly stepping outside. But before he could really feel the rays of the sun, Agnes found him and dragged him back inside. She scolded him, not understanding why he would want to ruin his good condition just to go outside. Being somewhat of an old doll, Holt was more fragile than he preferred to think himself to be. Still, he tried to explain to her that in his mind, a life with no experience was no life at all. 

Holt was put back into the glass case after that, but Agnes thought over his wishes. After some time, she decided that perhaps it would be best to let him go. After saying goodbye to his closest friends in the collection, Agnes packaged Holt up carefully in a box and sent him away to Jester’s home. 

Now, Holt’s had the chance to experience the sun, the moon, and all the wonders of the world outside. He’s quite sociable, so he’s made good friends with the other dolls in the collection. At times, however, he gets jealous of the favoritism Jester expresses towards Jackson. He also gets fed up if kept in one place for too long. 

G3 Frankie Stein

Frankie was bought brand-new, straight from the original packaging. Jester told Jackson and Holt ahead of time that Frankie would be coming home, but also warned them that this Frankie would be different from the one they knew in their memories. Still, they were very excited to see them. 

In my mind, when dolls are in their box, they enter something of a sleep mode. So when Frankie first woke up, the first faces they saw were Jackson and Holt. They introduced themselves enthusiastically, and that’s when Jackson and Holt found out that this Frankie had no memories of them (because as of the day I’m writing this, Jackson and Holt don’t exist in G3 yet). Jackson and Holt were a little disappointed, since they both remembered Frankie. But this Frankie had the same sweet earnestness that the Frankie they remember had, so they couldn’t be too mad. 

Frankie is very wide-eyed and curious, and was very excited about getting to explore the world. So Jackson and Holt accompanied Frankie on their first ever trip outside. It just so happened at that time that the sun was going down as they were going out. And so Frankie’s first experience outside was watching the sunset. 

Jackson, Frankie, and Holt took a little extra time getting to know each other. But over time, Jackson and Holt fell in love just as hard for this new Frankie as the one in their memories. And Frankie loved both of them just as much. 

[nellyharrison]

spring became the summer

WHAT IF... Erica Reyes was friends with Scott McCall and Stiles Stilinski from the beginning?

[READ ON AO3]

This is an interlude to my Teen Wolf rewrite under the same premise.  It takes place between seasons 2 and 3A.  To protect herself, Erica cuts ties with Scott and Stiles in a very permanent way.  Allison finds out the truth about her mother's death and reaches out to Erica to apologize.  Stiles realizes he has feelings for Erica, but will it be too late?

[text from: Superman] Mom’s throwing a 4th of July party this year.  She invited some of her work friends, and both of you are invited.  Your dad too, Stiles.

[text from: Batman] We’ll be there.  You gonna come, Erica?

[text from: Superman] We’ve been trying to keep our distance, but you can’t freeze us out forever.

[text from: Batman] I keep asking Derek about you every time he drops by with updates on the alpha pack, but he won’t tell me anything.

[text from: Superman] Isaac won’t say anything to me either.  We miss you.

[text from: Batman] Yeah, and we’ll do whatever we need to make things right.  Just tell us how to fix this.

[text from: Superman] Please come to the party.  If not for me, then for my mom.  She’s been asking me about you.

[text from: Batman] My dad too.  He told me one of his friends found out your parents granted you emancipation.

[text from: Superman] We went by your house, but they were gone.  You’re gone.  Where are you?

Erica stared at her phone, reading the weeks of unanswered text messages Stiles and Scott had been sending her.  They’d also attempted countless phone calls, but those went ignored too.  She shouldn’t have been surprised they went by her house.  It was only a matter of time, which was why she had been so determined to get her parents out of town and herself moved into the building Derek had bought.  She had her own loft below Derek’s, with a secret stairwell linking them that he had built for emergencies.  It was nice to have her own space, but most days it felt rather empty.  She had Ellie, who loved their new home, but she never really imagined living by herself like this.

A lot about her life wasn’t what she had pictured.  Just a year ago, she was a completely different person.  She had been a nobody, with only two real friends and simple dreams that seemed so immature to the person she was now.  It was strange to think that she had given those two friends up, even if she knew it was the right decision for herself.  Scott and Stiles, whether they intended to or not, had caused her a lot of pain.  It wasn’t the kind of pain she could easily heal from now that she was a werewolf though.  It was the kind of pain that required time in order to properly heal, and for Erica, it meant space from the ones that had caused it.

Besides, she wasn’t a nobody anymore.  She had more people that cared about her, and a pack that was as devoted to her as she was to them.  It wasn’t uncommon for Isaac or Boyd to drop by unannounced, the former usually crawling into bed with her on the nights he didn’t feel like staying at Derek’s.  Jackson had also stopped by a few times before leaving for England with Lydia.  They were back together and would probably be conquering the halls again next fall, but first, they were going to spend their summer together overseas.  He had accepted his part in Derek’s pack before he left, all five of them piling together in Derek’s loft for a sleepover to solidify their bond.  They all felt stronger now, and that strength didn’t fade as Jackson left Beacon Hills for the summer.

Lydia had surprisingly kept in touch with Erica after that night in the warehouse, the redhead being the only person outside of the pack that Erica regularly spoke to.  The two girls found they had more in common than they expected, and it wasn’t long before they started confiding in each other.  Erica helped answer any questions Lydia had that Jackson had been unable to answer about the supernatural world, and Lydia comforted Erica when she finally admitted the feelings towards Stiles and Scott that she had been struggling with.  It was nice to have someone Erica could talk to about this sort of stuff, especially since the two people she normally spoke to about her problems were the source of this massive one.

There was one subject Lydia and Erica tended to avoid: Allison.  Erica had no doubt that Lydia was still in touch with Allison, but once Erica told Lydia about what had actually happened to Allison’s mom, they seemed to come to a mutual agreement not to bring the huntress up in their chats.  It wasn’t that Erica didn’t care about Allison anymore.  Deep down, a part of her still considered Allison a friend, even after everything she had done to her.  She just couldn’t bear to hear if Allison wasn’t okay.  No news was better than bad news, so she appreciated Lydia’s discretion.

Erica wondered if she would have been better off asking Lydia about Allison, as it might have prepared her for when she received a phone call from Allison herself.  “Hello?”

“Hey,” Allison greeted.  Her voice sounded different to Erica, but she couldn’t tell if it was just because she was talking so quietly or if it was because she was different from the Allison that had attacked her pack that night.  “I, um…  I owe you an apology.  Or a few, if I really think about it.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Erica tried to comfort her.  “Gerard was-”

“Not just for that,” Allison cut her off.  “Gerard did manipulate me and use me to push his own agenda, and I hurt you because of him, but I…  My dad told me.  About my mom.”

“Oh,” Erica said, swallowing dryly.  No amount of warning from Lydia could have prepared her for this conversation.  “You don’t have to apologize for that.”

“She tried to kill you, Erica,” Allison reminded, as if she could have forgotten.  Erica heard Allison take a shaky breath, and when she began talking again, her voice was tight as she fought back tears.  “She tried to kill you, and you- you protected me from finding out, and I repaid you by nearly killing you.  I was supposed to be your friend.  I’m so sorry.  Do you think you could ever forgive me?”

“Of course,” Erica sighed, laughing softly when Allison practically sobbed in relief over the phone.  “We are friends, Allison.  Friends hit rough patches.  We just went through our first one.  We’ll probably hit a few more if you decide to stay in the family business, but we’ll figure it out.”

“Dad and I are done,” Allison assured her.  “We’re actually in France for the summer so we can reconnect with our roots and figure out what we want the Argent name to mean for us.”

“That’s awesome,” Erica encouraged.  “It would be nice if we could have you on our side instead.  You’re a hell of an opponent, but imagine what we could do if we were allies.”

“I like the sound of that,” Allison chuckled.  She grew quiet after that, and Erica could practically hear her thinking.  “I broke up with Scott.”

Erica bit down hard on her bottom lip and inhaled sharply through nose, exhaling slowly before admitting, “He told me.  I’m sorry.”

“Are you?” Allison asked, sounding less accusatory and more surprised.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Erica countered.  “He loved you, and you loved him too.”

“I know that you respected our relationship, but even I could see it,” Allison admitted.  “He might not have, but I did.”

“Allison, I-” Erica went to explain, but she was interrupted.

“It’s okay.  Really,” Allison assured her.  “I think if Scott ever did move on, I’d be okay if it was with you.”

“He loves you, Allison,” Erica reminded her.  “Regardless of my feelings, I can’t compete with that.”

“He loves you too,” Allison declared, and it was enough to make Erica’s heart falter in her chest.  “I just don’t think he realizes how he loves you yet.  I hope he does realize it, and I mean that.  You deserve that.”

“I don’t know what I deserve anymore,” Erica scoffed, blinking back tears.  “But thank you.  I hope you know, I would be happy if you two ended up together.  This year’s been really confusing for me, but as Scott’s best friend, I can’t deny how good you were for him.”

“Not all first loves last,” Allison mused.  “It would be nice if they did, but that’s not realistic.  I think, someday, we’ll all find the people that we’re meant to be with and we’ll all be happy, together.”

“It’s a nice thought,” Erica agreed, smiling softly.  “Will you keep in touch while you’re away?”

“Yes, absolutely,” Allison replied.  “Good luck with everything.”

“Thanks,” Erica nodded.  “Enjoy the rest of your trip.”

“I’ll try,” Allison chuckled, hesitating for a moment before ending the call.

Erica looked down at her phone, feeling like the weight on her chest had dropped a couple tons.  Allison had given her a lot of closure, and she hadn’t realized how much she needed that in her life.  She needed to regain some clarity, and she figured the best way to do that would be to close some of the doors that were leaving her mind so fuzzy.  Standing from her bed, she grabbed two shoe boxes from her closet and began flitting around her loft.  A couple of hours later, she had upgraded the shoe boxes to some large boxes she had used during her move into the loft.  Stacking one on top of the other, she carried them towards the door and set off for her destinations.

Later that night, Scott and Stiles would return home to find a box on each of their doorsteps.  Scott took his box directly to Stiles’s house, shocked to find he had one of his own.  They went up to Stiles’s room and opened the boxes, pulling out item after item from their lives with Erica.  There were photobooth strips, arcade tokens, movie tickets,  carnival prizes, Valentine’s Day cards, past birthday and Christmas gifts, and countless other objects collected over the ten years they had been friends.  She had kept so much, and each item they pulled out reminded them of a moment they had shared together.

“Why does it feel like she’s breaking up with us?” Scott asked, his thumb running along the edge of a framed photo of him and Erica that his mom had taken last summer.  Erica had joined him and his mom on their trip to the beach, and he had to practically drag her into the water.  The framed shot showed him with his arms around Erica’s middle, her hands gripping his arms as she squealed when the wave crashed against their backs.  He remembered how tired they both were on the drive home, Erica leaning her head against his shoulder when she fell asleep.  He had been so happy that day, which was such a contrast to the deep misery he was feeling now.

“Because she is, Scott,” Stiles muttered, flipping through a comic book he had found in his box.  It was The Brave and The Bold, issue #197, which had one of the sweetest moments between Batman and Catwoman in all of the comics.  He remembered the day Erica had bought the comic.  The two of them had gone comic book shopping together, and it was one of the few issues Stiles had read that Erica hadn’t.  He remembered teasing her about how she hadn’t read such an important comic for Catwoman and Batman’s relationship, but all she had done was stick her tongue out at him and place the comic in her arms to buy.  Over the years, he had seen her rereading this issue, often admitting it had become one of her favorites, and now he was holding it.  Because she didn’t want it anymore.  Because she didn’t want any reminders of him anymore.  She didn’t want any reminders of either of them.  “I guess that’s that.”

“What?  What do you mean ‘that’s that’?” Scott retorted.  “So she gives us all this stuff back and we’re expected to just give up on ten years of friendship?”

“If that’s what she wants!” Stiles shot back.  “What else are we supposed to do, Scott?  We have no idea where she is.  No one will tell us.  And even if we did know where she was, she wouldn’t see us.  She won’t even answer our texts.  And even if she did agree to see us, what are we supposed to say to fix this?  Do you even know why she’s mad at you?”

“Sort of,” Scott shrugged.  “I don’t know, but we should at least try, shouldn’t we?”

“I don’t think she wants us to, man,” Stiles pointed out.  “That’s why she gave all of this back.  This is her way of ending things with us.”

“That’s not fair,” Scott muttered.  “I didn’t- I don’t want the last time I saw her to be the last time I see her.”

“It’s not about what we want anymore,” Stiles muttered, closing his box.  “Erica wants this.  We haven’t been able to give her anything else she’s wanted.  Least we can do is give her this.”

Scott stared at Stiles before shaking his head, packing his box up, and storming out.  As he walked home, he thought about what Stiles had said, but he couldn’t accept it.  He couldn’t give up on Erica so easily.  He wasn’t sure he could give up on her at all.  It felt like all of his memories were tied to her, and the thought of losing her completely, of not making any more memories with her, broke his heart.  He threw the box onto his desk with a heavy thud, then fell down face first onto his bed.  He felt numb, and while he didn’t sleep, he remained laying there until Isaac showed up a few hours later.

“You awake?” he muttered as he hovered in the doorway, staring at Scott’s motionless body.  When he began to move, rolling onto his back, Isaac moved further inside and sat at his desk.  He noticed the box and pulled it open, glancing inside.  “What’s all this?”

“Erica dumped Stiles and I today,” Scott grumbled.  “That’s all of the stuff she didn’t want anymore.”

“Yikes,” Isaac replied, pulling out the same picture frame Scott had and smiling at the happy look on Erica’s face.  “Told you two to fix it before it was too late.”

“How the hell were we supposed to fix it when none of you would tell us where she is?” Scott snapped.  “If I didn’t know for a fact this came from her, I wouldn’t even know that she’s still in town.  Can you at least tell me if she’s okay?”

“Of course she’s okay,” Isaac rolled his eyes, putting the photo down and leaning back in his chair.  “She just doesn’t want to talk to you or Stilinski anytime soon and I don’t blame her.”

“How is that fair?” Scott growled.  “She didn’t even give us a chance-”

“Bullshit,” Isaac cut him off, standing and pointing an accusing finger towards him.  “She gave you ten years of chances, Scott.  If it took you this long to realize she was there the whole time, then you don’t deserve her.  Neither of you do.”  He shook his head and left Scott alone again, deciding he should probably check on his packmate now that he knew what she had been up to.

Scott fell back on his bed again, growling as he rubbed his face.  He knew that Isaac was right.  Erica had always been there, and intentionally or not, he had taken her for granted.  He hadn’t appreciated her for what she did for him, and in the end, he had lost her.  If she needed to separate herself from him, and from Stiles, to find her own happiness, then he wouldn’t stand in her way.  He only hoped that someday, she would be able to let him back into her life and give him a chance to be someone that made her happy again.

The summer passed slowly for Stiles, Scott, and Erica.  They each tried to keep busy, Scott and Stiles spending a lot of their time practicing lacrosse, while Erica threw herself fully into preparation for the battle against the alpha pack still to come.  Derek continued to give Stiles updates, and Isaac continued hanging out with Scott, but neither of them gave the two boys any information on their packmate, and despite still wanting to, they eventually stopped asking.  Stiles and Scott even resorted to asking Lydia and Allison about Erica once, but that proved just as fruitless, and resulted in almost identical rants that had them regretting ever asking.

About halfway through the summer, Boyd decided to go on a camping trip with his family.  It would require going out of state, and being out of contact for the week he was gone, but it was a tradition he didn’t want to miss out on.  Derek was worried about letting another member of his pack be so far away, but he had been making a concerted effort to provide his pack with whatever they wanted in life.  His priority was still to keep them all safe and alive, but he wanted them to be able to live too.

A few days after Boyd had left to meet his family, Erica ran into his mother at the store.  The woman began apologizing, admitting to not having Erica’s number, then handed her the missing poster she was distributing.  Boyd had never shown up at the campsite, and they hadn’t heard from him since.  Erica quickly wrote down her phone number for Mrs. Boyd, requesting she call her if she found or needed anything, then set off for the loft.  All she had to do was hand Derek the flier before he was calling Isaac and the three of them were going out searching.

They started at Boyd’s house, picking up on his scent that was a few days old, which confirmed that he hadn’t been there since he had left for the campsite.  As they followed it out of town, they came across Boyd’s car abandoned on the side of the road.  All of his camp gear was still inside, but there were broken windows and a claw mark along the passenger door.  Carved into the driver’s seat was the same triskele that had been marked on Derek’s door at the beginning of the summer.  The alpha pack had Boyd.

“We have to tell Jackson,” Erica insisted as they made their way back home.

“I think we should tell Scott,” Isaac added, his eyes widening when Erica glared at him.  “What?  Even if he’s not in the pack, he’s connected to us.  He could be in danger.”

“We should bring everyone in,” Derek decided.  “The alpha pack has declared war and taken one of our own.  I will call Jackson.  Erica, I want you to reach out to Allison.  Isaac, you’ll tell Scott and Stiles.  We need to find the alpha pack, but once we do, we’ll need as much help as we can get if we want to get Boyd back and beat them.”

“Yes alpha,” Isaac and Erica replied in unison.

“You two don’t go anywhere without each other from now on, okay?” Derek instructed.  “They got Boyd because he was alone.  We’re stronger together.  If you’re not at home, you’re together.  Understood?”

“Yes alpha,” Isaac immediately agreed.

Derek glanced over at Erica, raising an eyebrow to prompt her, “Yes alpha.”

Once they returned home, Isaac and Erica went to her loft while Derek stalked off to his.  They could hear him working out his anger above them, but they settled onto her couch, leaning on each other as they both worried about Boyd.  Erica put on a Harry Potter marathon on TV, then they each pulled out their phones to reach out to their assigned people.  Allison promised to talk to her dad and to get a last minute flight home if they found the alpha pack before she was planning on returning for the start of the new school year.

“You know you’re going to have to talk to them, right?” Isaac asked, not looking at her as he continued tapping at his phone.  “We’re going to have to work with them, so you can’t keep ignoring them.”

“If it means getting Boyd back, I don’t care,” Erica replied, swallowing dryly as she inhaled through her nose.  “It won’t change anything anyways.  I’m not getting involved in their mess again.  I closed that door.”

“Yeah, I don’t know if giving them all of the stuff you kept over your ten year friendship is what I would call ‘closing that door’,” Isaac disagreed.  “Especially since all it did was make them want to make up for every single wrong they’ve ever done to you.  You know Jackson told me Stiles asked Lydia about you?”

Erica sat up at that, staring over at Isaac with wide eyes.  “He did what?”

“Mhm,” Isaac nodded, glancing up from his phone to meet her eyes.  “I guess Scott asked Allison too, because she and Lydia had, like, an hour long phone call about it when Jackson and Lydia were supposed to be going out for dinner.”

“You’re lying,” Erica insisted, but she knew by his steady heartbeat that he wasn’t.  “Why would they do that?”

“Because they’re going crazy without you?” Isaac proposed.  “Maybe they’ve finally come to their senses.”

“No, shut up,” Erica snapped, standing up and walking away from him.  “Why do you keep pushing this?  I told you I was done with them.  I told you everything that has happened between us.  You know how much they’ve hurt me.  Why do you keep pushing me to forgive them?”

“Because you’re going crazy without them too, Erica,” Isaac pointed out, standing and taking a step towards her.  “Look around!”  He gestured around her loft, and for the first time, she noticed how bare it looked.  So many of her belongings had gone into those two boxes for Scott and Stiles, and without them, her home- her life looked empty.  “You are not you without them, and you know it.  I’m not asking you to let them close enough that they can hurt you, but ignoring them forever is going to kill you.”

“Loving them nearly killed me too, Isaac!” she shouted, covering her face with her hands as she felt herself start to tear up again.  “Ugh, I’m so tired of crying over them.  You’re right.  My whole life was wrapped up in them, and now look at me.  I don’t know who I am without them.  That’s not healthy!  That’s not normal!”

“You’re a teenage werewolf.  Nothing about you will ever be normal,” he retorted.

“You’re not listening!” she growled, charging him and knocking him to the ground.  They grappled for a few minutes, knocking over some of her furniture before she finally pinned him.  “Until I figure out who I am away from Scott and Stiles, I can’t be around them.  Not the way we used to be.  If I go back to them too soon, I’ll just get wrapped up in them all over again.”

“I think you’re making a mistake,” Isaac told her, honest but coming from a place of concern.

“Then it’s my mistake to make,” Erica replied, getting off of him and helping him to his feet.  “I’m going to make sure Derek’s okay.  Clean this place up.”  She gestured to the mess they had made while fighting, quickly leaving her loft and missing Isaac’s exasperated groan.  She glanced up at Derek’s loft above, but then found herself making her way downstairs and outside.  She would go and check on Derek eventually, but her insatiable curiosity had her leaving the building and making her way to Stiles’s house instead.

As she got closer, she started listening to the house and realized Stiles wasn’t alone.  His dad was gone, the cruiser not parked in the driveway, but the heartbeat was familiar.  Scott was with him, and they were talking about Boyd.  At least, they had started by talking about Boyd.  She climbed up the outside of the house and settled with her back against the wall next to Stiles’s bedroom window just as their conversation shifted.

“So, uh, I’ve been thinking about it,” Stiles began.  “And I think I like Erica back.  I don’t know if I love her, because I’ve only ever loved Lydia, but I’m losing my mind not talking to her.”  He paused, and Erica crept closer so she could look inside to see him scratching the back of his neck.  “I miss her.  A lot.”

“I miss her too,” Scott admitted, his back to the window.  “But how do you know you miss her because you like her back and not just, you know, because she’s your best friend?”

“Because I’ve been dreaming about her,” Stiles confessed, a hopeless grin growing on his lips.  “That’s never happened before.”

“What kind of dream?” Scott asked, his shoulders tensing slightly.

“I don’t know,” Stiles shrugged.  “Sometimes we’re just hanging out in my room, reading comic books or listening to music.  Sometimes we’re driving around together, but uh, in those ones, we’re usually holding hands.  Sometimes we’re at the formal, and she’s wearing that black dress again, and I ask her to dance instead of Lydia.  Sometimes we’re kissing.  Those ones are the worst because I wake up and wonder if kissing her is like how it is in my dreams.”

“It’s better,” Scott blurted out, staring at the floor as he remembered what it had been like to kiss Erica last year.  When he looked up and saw Stiles’s expression, he cleared his throat.  “I mean, she’s a good kisser.” He hadn’t been in his right state of mind when it had happened, but he remembered exactly what kissing Erica was like and how it had felt.  “Does this mean you’re over Lydia?”

“Lydia’s with Jackson,” Stiles reminded him.

“That wasn’t the question,” Scott replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I don’t know, okay?” Stiles stammered.  “Maybe?  It’s hard not to think it’s not actually going to work out between us when she goes off to England with the guy she’s in love with.”

“But you think it could work out between you and Erica?” Scott questioned.

“Yeah,” Stiles nodded, sitting up a bit straighter.  “I mean, maybe.  I’d at least like to try.”

That was more than Erica could take, her feet stumbling over each other as she rushed down to the ground.  She didn’t stop moving until she was far from Stiles’s house, her heart racing with every step she took.  Stiles liked her.  Stiles had been dreaming about her.  Stiles had been dreaming about kissing her.  And on top of all of that, there was something she had noticed and couldn’t seem to get past.  Scott had been quick to admit she was a good kisser, even though he had only really kissed her once when he was under the influence of the full moon.  More than that, he had seemed jealous over the idea of Stiles and Erica.  Her mind was reeling as she took off running faster, as if she could run fast enough to escape all of the confusion she had just stepped back into.  She shouldn’t have gone to Stiles’s house.  She should have just gone upstairs and worked out with Derek like she had told Isaac she was going to.

One minute, she was running, and the next, she was being tackled to the ground.  “Get off of me!” she shouted, struggling to fight off the figure that had attacked her.  They were too strong.  They were stronger than a human, certainly stronger than a normal werewolf.  Her eyes widened when she realized it must have been one of the alphas, but just when she opened her mouth to howl for help, she was being knocked out with a hard punch to her face.

The next morning, when Derek went to check on his betas and only found Isaac, he became angry.  When Isaac told him that Erica had said she was going to go up to see him last night, he became furious.  When he tracked Erica’s scent from the loft to Stiles’s house, he became enraged.  When the scent disappeared the same way Boyd’s had with the same triskele carved into the ground, he became panicked.  Isaac and Derek tried to track her down, backtracking and checking the surrounding areas, but she was gone.  The alpha pack now had two members of his pack, and they still had no idea where they were hiding.

His instincts as an alpha were to surround himself with as many people to protect himself, but he knew by doing that without a plan of attack, he was just putting those people at risk.  He texted Jackson to tell him about Erica’s abduction, but ordered him to stay in England until they found the alpha pack.  Jackson promised to get a private flight if necessary to get home as soon as the alpha pack was found, but agreed to stay put for the time being.  He then asked Derek if he could tell Lydia and Allison, and Derek hesitated before agreeing.  Together, Derek and Isaac made their way to Scott’s house, slightly relieved to find Stiles already there with him.  Melissa was gone, likely at work, so they walked right inside and up to Scott’s room.

“What are you two doing here?” Scott questioned, standing from his bed while Stiles shot up from his spot at the desk.

“Where’s Erica?” Stiles added.

“They got her,” Derek told them, his jaw clenching.  “Last night.”

“They-” Stiles muttered, falling back into the desk chair as his jaw dropped.

“Where are they?” Scott growled, his hands clenching at his sides.

“We don’t know,” Derek admitted.  “Not yet.”

“Then we’ll find them and we’ll get her back,” Scott declared.

“Her and Boyd,” Isaac reminded.

“They could still try to get to any of you in the meantime,” Derek warned.  “I know you’re not technically pack, but you need to be careful.  Jackson, Lydia, and Allison are staying away until we’ve found the alpha pack, so it’s up to us.  Scott, I’ll need you to go out looking with Isaac.  Neither of you should be alone until we’ve found them.”

“Are they going to kill her?” Stiles asked, his voice so quiet, they might not have heard him if they weren’t werewolves with enhanced hearing.

“I don’t know,” Derek said honestly.  “I know we’ll feel it if they do.  When a member of your pack dies, it’s like…  It’s like losing a limb.”  He looked away, thinking about all that he had already lost.  He couldn’t lose the pack he had made.  He couldn’t lose the family he had found.  “The sooner we find them, the less of a chance they have of killing her.”  He nodded to Isaac, and the two of them left, leaving Scott and Stiles in ruins on their own.

They spent the rest of the summer scouring Beacon Hills for some sign of where the alpha pack had taken Boyd and Erica.  Neither of their bodies popped up, which they considered a good sign, but as the weeks passed, they started losing hope.  A couple of weeks before school would start up again, Isaac and Derek woke up in the middle of the night in agonizing pain.  Derek managed to carry himself to his beta as he called Jackson, who answered the phone whimpering from the ache echoing throughout his body.  Derek had to take a few slow breaths before he could explain what had happened and try to help his betas through it.  He had no idea who it was, but there was no denying the awful truth: Erica or Boyd had been killed by the alpha pack.

[mrspasser]

You’ve got the love I need to see me through - Baby in the Pack

Chapter 1/13

1.

Derek is doing the dishes with Stiles that Saturday night. It's the first weekend of summer break and the whole pack is home for the summer. The ones that left for university anyway, the ones that went to the local community college in town never left, of course. Erica and Boyd share a small apartment in town and Isaac still lives with Mrs. McCall most of the time. Weekends are for pack, though, and the large Hale house in the woods is filled with young adults in high spirits. Derek feels the strong connections between him and his pack, wolves and humans alike. It makes his chest expand and his body sing; he feels like running, racing through the woods of the Preserve. There's an energy to him that needs to be unleashed, whether it's by running, fighting or fucking. He hasn't had to fight a real fight in a long time and with his pack home he will not go looking for a one night stand in some bar. Not with his loved ones reunited again, not with how happy everyone is to be together once more.

"Earth to Sourwolf," Stiles teases, splashing some soapy suds on him. They have a dishwasher, yet after the copious homecoming meal they had not everything fit inside the machine, even though Derek purchased the largest model. It's so big, Derek often washes his dishes by hand if it's just him and Malia in the house. Even when Isaac stays over they rarely have enough dishes to warrant starting up the machine. It gets used a lot on the weekends though. Tonight Stiles offered to wash if Derek dried. He took the opportunity to update his Alpha on his secondary studies: his training to be the pack's emissary. "Am I boring you?"

Derek realises he'd zoned out. "No, sorry, I -"

"Feeling a bit jittery, huh?" The younger man smirks at him as he plunges his hands in the warm water again. He nods when Derek makes an agreeing sound. "A good run with the pack will fix that."

Stiles always knows how to read him, and it's not just because he's a perfect study in the non-verbal language of Hale Eyebrows (his words, not Derek's). He feels like Stiles knows him, understands him, even back when he didn't understand himself yet. He's come a long way since then, having his own pack grounds him, gives him a sense of purpose, a sense of belonging. And once he had solid ground beneath his feet, felt like he could stand on his own two feet without having to tread water all the time, he started to give back that sense of security to the people who gave it to him. He offered his first three Betas a solid base to fall back on, left them free to explore the world and made sure they knew they could always count on him to be there for them, only to find they never wanted to go far at all. And for the ones that did, like Lydia and Jackson who went to college at the other side of the country, he made sure to keep in touch, to keep them involved in the things going on in Beacon Hills. He found a way to broker peace with his uncle, clearing up their communication as much as possible. Peter would always be a sly one, yet Derek can honestly say nowadays he can trust him to always have the pack's best interest at heart. Thanks to Stiles' relentless efforts he and Scott were also able to finally bury the hatchet between them. The True Alpha has his own small pack with Allison, his mom and a young teen called Liam, but still defers to Derek when there is any supernatural trouble. Not that there was much trouble to speak of, not for the last year or two. Sometimes Derek dared to think things were like they were back when his mother was still Alpha of Beacon Hills. Even better maybe, with the Argent family firmly in their corner.

Derek watches the younger man next to him fondly, pressing their shoulders companionably together when he takes a wet plate from Stiles to dry. He never would have made it to where he is now without this stubborn, brave human. Derek owes him so much, if not everything.

Stiles glances back at him, huffing a laugh when he sees how Derek's watching him. "Such a fucking marshmallow," the young man whispers quietly, more to his own ears than Derek's. Derek hears him anyway.

An hour later everybody is gathered on the front porch of the house. The werewolves are all barefooted and bare chested, except for the girls. Not that Erica is wearing a lot, opting to go for just a sports bra and foregoing covering up with a top like Malia. The humans are dressed in track clothes and running shoes. Derek is still wearing his jeans, but he'll be losing that soon when he changes to his four legged form. He's not the only one of the pack who can, yet he's the only one who will. Being stuck as a coyote for years has made Malia hesitant of transforming fully. Or, as she prefers to explain it: "I've had my fair share of being furry already."

Derek looks out over his pack, the young adults that have been through so much and pulled through. They're all here, except for Peter. Derek knows his uncle will drop by later, unannounced yet not unexpected. And there's Cora, his younger sister. She's still with her pack in South America, but she'll visit like she does every summer. He's supposed to pick her up from the airport in a week.

"Ready, big guy?" Stiles appears at his shoulder, giving him an anticipating grin.

Derek throws his head back in response and howls. It's not the full moon but his pack is here, they're all here and he feels the Alpha energy coursing through his veins. The other wolves join his cry and even the humans join their voices with the rest. The Hale Pack is home.

chapter 2 >

Read it on Ao3 or Wattpad.

Cover image credits

[icantthinkofanythingcool3]

traitor (pt 1)

An:please let me know what you guys think! Let me know if you want more! Thanks guys!

third person pov

Isaac and y/n were inseparable, or so it seemed from the outside looking in. They had known each other for what seemed like forever. It was during their freshman year that they started dating.

“Isaac, I can’t keep letting this happen to you. It’s not fair, you don’t deserve this.” y/n said.

“He’s my dad, y/n. He’s all I got left, I can’t tell anyone. I don’t WANT to tell anyone.”

“You’re miserable, you can’t live like this. You SHOULDN’T live like this.”

“I’m not miserable, y/n/n/ as long as I have you I could never be miserable. I-I...I love you y/n. I love you so much, you’re the only thing that keeps me going every day. I can’t lose you…”

“Isaac, you could never lose me, I’ll always be here for you, always. I love you too, I think I always have.”

The rest was history after that, Isaac and y/n spent even more time together. y/n always made sure that Isaac had a place to stay when things got bad with his dad. They spent countless nights together after that.

When his dad was killed by Jackson and Isaac was turned by Derek, y/n instantly knew something was up. She had always known something was weird about Beacon Hills, but she could never imagine what was really going on. Isaac had to tell her, there was no way around it. And with that newfound information, y/n saw a lot more of the supernatural world.

Derek...werewolf. Boyd….Erika...werewolf. Scott...werewolf. Jackson….kamina. Lydia….was something. Although, they didn’t find that out until later. Allison...werewolf hunter (and that was sure awkward seeing as all the werewolves she was hanging around). And Stiles...well he was just a sarcastic ass human.

It took a lot for y/n to grasp all that was happening. And although Isaac was different at first when he got bitten, they seemed to fall right back into place. That was until the Alpha Pack came to town. Isaac wasn’t the same, and he no longer seemed to need y/n as much. She even offered her house to him when Derek kicked him out, but he chose to stay with Scott.

y/n pov

“Lydia, I know something is wrong. Isaac is not the same. It’s like we’re not even together anymore. I haven’t talked to him in 2 days...complete radio silence.”

“y/n/n, have you tried to talk to him? Called him, texted him?” She asked me.

“Well, no. But he usually texts me first in the mornings...and when he didn’t yesterday I thought I would see how long it would take for him to say something. I haven’t even seen him in school yet.”

“I think you’re overreacting. I’m sure everything is fine. There is a lot going on right now with the Alpha Pack” She told me reassuringly.

We parted ways as I made my way to first period English. Stiles and Scott were in this class with me, so at least I would have their antics to distract me from how I was feeling. I just knew that something was wrong. I’ve never gone this long without talking to Isaac since the day we met.

“Hey y/n/n!” Scott called to me as I walked into class and I sent him a wave.

I took my seat behind him and next to Stiles, “You okay y/n?” Stiles asked me.

“Yeah, I’m okay, just tired. Thanks for asking.” It wasn’t a complete lie, seeing as I got maybe an hour of sleep worrying about Isaac last night.

As class started, I listened to the hush whispers of Stiles and Scott discussing the Alpha Pack, nodding my heading and agreeing where I should. I was still learning a lot about the supernatural world, but I tried to help when I could. After English, I had Algebra with Isaac, I was dreading it. Would he even talk to me? I got there early and sat in my normal seat. Issac came in a second before the bell rang and took his normal seat next to me.

“Feels like you’re avoiding me Isaac.”

“Well, I’m not y/n. I’ve just been busy.” He said to me harshly.

“Obviously. I know what’s going on Isaac, but that hasn’t stopped you from talking to me before…”

“Ms. y/l/n and Mr. Lahey, would you like to continue your conversation in detention or pay attention to the lesson.”

We both mumbled our apologies and focused on the class. It was an agonizing amount of time before the bell rang. We both had lunch after this, so I wasn’t letting him get away so easily. I followed him out of the classroom and was hot on his tail.

“y/n I do not want to talk right now okay, I just want to get through the day and figure out what is going on with these sacrifices.” He whisper-yelled at me.

“I know a lot is happening right now Isaac, but this feels like more than that. This is the first time we’ve talked in two days and that’s fucking not us. If I didn’t know any better I wouldn’t even think we were dating anymore.” I said back just as aggressively.

“Damn it! Well maybe we shouldn’t date anymore!” Isaac yelled at me, at such a level that all the chatter in the hallway around us came to a complete stop.

I couldn’t even focus on that, “Do you mean that?” I whispered.

“I don’t know y/n, honestly, I just don’t know.” He looked down at the ground as the people in the hallway quietly started again, surely discussing what they were witnessing.

“Well if you don’t know how you feel anymore, then that really just says it all, doesn’t it Isaac.” I said, tears already forming.

“I don’t think I love you anymore, y/n.” He said barely above a whisper.

I couldn’t believe he was doing this right now, in the hallway, in front of all these people who were clearly watching, “Well, that just settles it then doesn’t it. Don’t ever talk to me again Lahey, we’re completely done.”

I walked down the hallway before he could say anything else and before my tears could fall for everyone to see. Usually I take the bus or ride home with Lydia, but seeing as it was only lunch time, I would just have to walk home. I knew my mom was gonna freak about me skipping, but I couldn’t care less at this point. Halfway through the walk home, it started raining, go fucking figure. By the time I walked in my front door, I already had two missed calls from Lydia and texts from Stiles and Scott. I was sure they heard about what happened and I couldn’t stand to face them right now. I literally only knew them through Isaac and now we were done.

[girlwiththereapertattoo]

begin again - part two

Jax Teller x female!Reader

Summary: Y/N is back in Charming and gets a visit from a ghost of her past.

Word count: 2,5k words

Warnings: Bad language and a mention of a family member’s death (I can’t think of other warnings but feel free to point them out)

Author's note: For reference of Y/N’s childhood home, this is the house I was picturing. It’s only the exterior, you can go wild with the interior. HERE

Beta read by @crucifixedbitch

PART ONE

💀💀💀💀💀

Four Years Later

Never in a million years did you think you’d find yourself back in Charming and yet here you are. Life happens though and certain situations are out of your control, like the passing of your mother. You came back for her funeral, and since you’re her only surviving family, you’ve been left with the task of taking care of her affairs, including the selling of your childhood home. You look around, taking in the messy sight before you.

Stacked boxes fill the small, relatively empty, kitchen space. Eventually, all these boxes will end up in storage until you figure out what it is that you want to do with them. A costly decision, but there’s no way you’re lugging them back to Charlotte with you, and apparently, no one’s looking to buy used furniture in Charming.

“Mommy?”

A sleepy S/N’s standing at the entryway clutching his favorite toy in one hand whilst the other rubs his eyes. He shuffles over to you and throws both arms around your legs then buries his little face in them.

“Hey, ace! How was your nap?”

“It was good.” His voice comes out muffled and small. “Mommy, can we watch a movie?”

You scoop him into your arms and spin him around before you set him on your hip. “I’ve got a better idea,” you press a loving kiss to his forehead and hug him to your chest. “Why don’t we leave the house for a bit? We deserve a break from all this packing, don’t you think?”

He perks up. “Can we get ice cream? Please.”

“Ice cream… with sprinkles!”

The suggestion earns you a double kiss to the cheek and the title of ‘Best Mom in the World’! Once you set him down, he dashes out of the kitchen and down the hall to the bedroom to grab his shoes. In the meantime, you grab your keys and purse from the breakfast table and wait for him at the front door.

“Ace?”

After a stretched pause, he calls back.

“Is everything okay?”

Concerned, you make your way down the hall and find a frustrated S/N sitting on the bedroom floor, struggling to fasten his sandals.

“Need a little help with that, ace?”

He shakes his head with a huff. “I can do it myself.”

You know better than to push him when he gets this way and so you patiently wait. It takes him a moment but he gets it done, and he looks quite pleased with himself.

“Do you have everything?”

“Yep.” He makes his way over to you and links his fingers with yours, “Do you have everything?”

You chuckle. “Yes, I do.”

You say a little prayer as you leave the house — may you not run into SAMCRO.

💀💀💀💀💀

A lot has changed since the last time you were here. Most of the small shops and restaurants have been shut down or replaced, including Hanna’s Diner, which has now been replaced by Benny’s, a fifties-themed diner. Cringe. It’s not really your style but S/N insists on eating here because the servers are on roller skates. Wanting to be inconspicuous, you ask to be seated in a booth on the far end of the restaurant.

Your waiter hands you a menu and gives S/N a picture to color in and a cup of Crayons. You order yourself a beverage, a milkshake for S/N, and whilst you wait for your order to arrive, you help S/N color in his picture. You’re engrossed in the task, joking about with your son, when your name is suddenly called by a familiar voice. Your heart lurches in your chest, a shiver traveling down your spine at the recognition — Gemma fucking Teller.

“Shit,” you murmur.

You focus your attention on your son, hoping she gets the message loud and clear: you’re not looking to make conversation with her. As her heels click towards you, you heavily regret leaving your house today. What were you thinking? Charming’s such a small town, you were bound to bump into a ghost of your past and it just had to be Gemma. She stops beside your table but still, you keep your head down.

“Jesus Christ, it really is you.”

Left with no choice, you force yourself to look up at the woman who once made your life miserable. “Gemma, hi.”

She smiles but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Hi, sweetheart. I thought you might be back in town. I heard about your mother, I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you. I appreciate you coming over,” you muster a smile.

Gemma glances down at S/N who’s engrossed in his coloring. She looks back at you. “Cute kid. Is he yours?”

“Yeah, he is.”

“Who’s the dad?”

You look away from her. “I think you should leave, Gemma.”

“It’s Jax, isn’t it?”

Your silence is all the confirmation she needs.

“Does he know?”

“Gemma,” you plead. “Don’t do this.”

“He deserves to be in his son’s life, Y/N.”

“Oh, spare me the crap.”

She opens her mouth, preparing to fire back at you but you cut her off.

“We’re not doing this, Gemma. Not now, not ever.” You abruptly rise from your seat with a huff and grab S/N. “I’m only going to tell you this once, stay the hell away from me and my family.”

You slam the money that you owe for the drinks you ordered — but didn’t get to enjoy — onto the table, and march out of the diner.

💀💀💀💀💀

“Come on, ace, it’s bedtime.”

“But Mom!” he protests, throwing his head back and whines. “Only five more minutes. Please.”

S/N’s nighttime routine’s simple: bathtime before dinner, he’s allowed twenty minutes television time after dinner, then he’s got to brush his teeth, and once he’s in bed, you read him a bedtime story. It’s the same routine every night, with a few exceptions, and yet every night is the same struggle.

“We can’t keep doing this, ace.”

His eyes remain fixed on the television screen, lips parted, completely entranced.

“Ace..?”

He slowly tears his eyes from the screen, his face splitting into a toothy grin, “Yes, Mommy?”

“It’s bedtime.”

It looks like he might object, negotiate more time, but with a defeated sigh, he slides off the couch and walks over to where you’re standing. Together, you make your way to the bathroom for S/N to brush his teeth. He’s just rinsed out his mouth when light knocking sounds from the door.

“Who’s that?”

You shrug, “Probably one of Gammy’s friends coming to check on us. Why don’t you go to the bedroom to pick a book to read, okay?”

He climbs off his step stool and leaves the bathroom. The knocking sounds again and you announce that you’re coming. You open the door to find Jax Teller standing on the other side with his hands shoved deep in his jean pockets. A stunned expression flashes across his face as he takes in your appearance.

“Hey.”

“Jackson, hi.” You step out onto the porch and pull the door behind you, leaving it ajar. “What are you doing here?”

Well, that’s rude. You don’t intend for your question to come out so curt and direct but what the hell is he doing at your door? Gemma, it’s got to be Gemma, and if he’s been talking to Gemma, then he must have questions. Questions you’re not entirely ready to give him answers to. You just wish he’d picked a better time to drop by.

“I, uh, heard you were in town and I thought I’d come by to see you before you left.”

“Uh, thanks. I–”

“Mommy! Mommy!” S/N yanks the door open before you can stop him and joins you on the porch, quickly retreating behind you when he sees the man at the door. With a small voice, he tells you, “I found a book to read.”

“You did?”

He nods, his eyes fixed on Jax.

“Good.” You pick him up off the floor and press a kiss to his cheek, “Go wait in the bedroom, okay? Mommy will be there in a minute.”

You set him on the ground and he scurries back into the house, leaving you alone with Jax once again.

“I can come back another time if y–”

“No, come in.” You catch yourself off guard. Why the hell are you inviting him into your home? “Unless you’re in a hurry. I just need to put S/N to bed and I shouldn’t be long…”

“Do what you gotta do, I’ll wait.”

You let him in and he makes his way over to the living room. In the bedroom, S/N has already tucked himself under the covers and he’s paging through the book, reading from memory.

“Are you ready for storytime, ace?”

He turns to you. “Is the man gone?”

“No,” you make your way over to the bed, “he’s still here.”

“Is he Gammy’s friend?”

You chuckle as you settle on the bed beside him and press a long kiss to the top of his head. You accept the book that he hands to you and read the title aloud, “A Tiger In Space by Micki Lee.”

He nuzzles into you, his head resting on your arm as he listens to you read for him, occasionally chiming in to comment on the illustrations.

“Goodnight, ace,” you press a final kiss to his forehead, “sweet dreams, I love you.”

“Goodnight, Mommy,” he yawns and shuts his eyes.

You quietly make your way out of his bedroom, leaving his nightlight on, and make your way to the living room, bracing yourself for what’s to come. You find Jax on the couch, fiddling with his pocket chain. When he hears you walk in, his head jerks up.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“I’m sorry about your mom.”

You stand awkwardly, unsure of how to handle yourself. And to think the man has seen you naked. “It’s alright.”

“How long you in town?”

“Not long,” you shuffle your feet. “I have to take care of a few things before I head back. I’m putting the house up for sale.”

“Well if you need anything…”

“I know who to call. I appreciate the offer.” You give him a tight smile, “I’ll definitely keep it in mind.”

“Anyway,” he pushes onto his feet, “I should get going.”

A wave of relief washes over you as you walk him to the front door, glad that the awkwardness was coming to an end. “Thank you for stopping by.”

“It was good seeing you.”

“Likewise,” you open the door, and with a final smile, you bid him farewell.

“I guess I’ll see you around.” He steps out onto the porch and turns to you. “I’d really like to be a part of the kid’s life.”

You’re stunned speechless, unsure of how to respond to his request but you don’t have to. Jax turns and makes his way back to the tow truck parked outside your house. You watch him drive off, frozen in place, and as you shut the door, you wish you’d said more to him.

💀💀💀💀💀

Jax’s sudden reappearance in your life has you off-kilter and for a good portion of the next day, you don’t exactly know what to do with yourself. You’re overcome by a wave of emotions, inundated with the memories of the girl you once were. It feels like a lifetime ago but it’s only been four years. Jesus. Your love was epic, meant to last lifetimes, but shit doesn’t always go according to our plans.

In the years you’ve been apart, so much has happened. Your mother would often give you updates on Jax and the Sons. News of his incarceration affected you more than you cared to admit because a part of you always hoped that he’d see the light and distance himself from the club. ‘It’s a good thing you got away when you did, he’s a violent man. You had no future with him,’ your mother would remind you every chance she got.

You stare down at the vibrating phone that rests on the couch next to you, your boyfriend’s name glaring back at you. Worn out, you toy with the idea of allowing his call to go through to voicemail, for the fifth time this evening, but it’ll only bite you in the ass.

“Babe, hey.”

“Jesus, Y/N, where the hell have you been? I thought we agreed that you’d call me at eight.”

“I’m sorry, I was clearing out the basement and the service’s really bad down there.”

You lean into the couch, bracing yourself for an outburst that never comes. Instead, he asks about your day and S/N. He tells you that he misses you, and offers to fly to Charming to assist you with the packing. He also tells you about the puppy he saw today and how he immediately thought of S/N.

“The house feels empty when you’re not here,” he concludes.

“We miss you too. Especially S/N.” B/N came into your life shortly after S/N was born, he’s the only father he knows. “I don’t think he likes Charming very much.”

“I don’t blame him. When are you coming back?”

“Next week, I hope.”

At that moment, you hear the loud rumble of a motorcycle pulling up onto your driveway and you just know it’s Jax.

“Honey, I hate to cut this short but someone’s just pulled onto the driveway.”

“At this hour?”

“Can I call you in the morning?”

“Is it safe?”

“It’s probably a friend of my mom’s.”

A light knock sounds at the door.

“I don’t like this.”

“I promise to call you in the morning. I love you, goodnight.”

You hang up before you catch his response and toss the phone back onto the couch. Jax has his back turned to you when you open the door.

“Jax?”

He turns around and flashes you a heartwarming smile. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“No,” you return his smile and step out to join him on the porch, “is everything okay?”

A serious expression settles on his face, “We need to talk, Y/N.”

It’s about S/N, you just wish he’d let it go already. “Jax, I–”

“Hear me out.”

You sigh, “Fine.”

“Look, you don’t have to tell him that I’m his old man but I’m sure he’s getting restless with no friends. He can always spend time with Abel.”

“Jax–”

“I just want to get to know my kid better, Y/N, that’s it.”

After a long pause, you ask, “You’re not going to back down from this, huh?”

He chuckles, “No, not really.”

“I’ve got conditions.”

“I’m all ears.”

“The playdate happens here.”

“Alright.”

“And you can’t stay long.”

“Fine by me.”

“And no Gemma,” you cross your arms over your chest, “you can’t tell her about this arrangement.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes. Bring Abel tomorrow around noon, he can have lunch with us. He got any allergies?”

Jax’s smile widens, “None. Thank you for agreeing to this.”

“You left me with no choice.”

“I mean it, Y/N, I appreciate it.” He leans over to press a kiss to your cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You roll your eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

💀💀💀💀💀

PART THREE

tag list:

@princesssterek @derangedcupcake @furiouscopshepherduniversity @crucifixedbitch

[andreafmn]

I'm Not Afraid - Chapter 5

xWord Count: 3,374

Characters: Female Reader Argent Character, Original Male Argent Character, Derek Hale, Allison Argent, Scott McCall, Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey, Lydia Martin, Chris Argent, Jackson Whittemore

Story Description: (Y/N) Argent arrived at Beacon Hills to put to rest her father’s sister, Kate Argent. For the first time, her family has decided to settle down and sustain a life in this interesting small town. After 17 years, (Y/N) has the opportunity to establish interpersonal relationships but will she be ready to face the complications that come with relating to her cousin’s, Allison, friends; especially, the infamous Derek Hale. She will face the adventure of being associated with the Derek and McCall pack as well as being faced with the discovery of certain aspects of her life she never imagined.

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Teen Wolf, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and MTV Network. The only thing I own is Argent Reader insert, her immediate family, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ storyline.

Chapter: 5/?

A/N: If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

<- Previous | Next ->

Chapter 5

I woke up to a heavy and warm wight around my waist. As my mind started registering the scene around me, I noticed the soft snores that were filling the room, the strong smell of cologne, the rough skin encircling me, the chest in front of me that raised and fell at a slow pace. At some point during the night, Derek must have crawled into bed, and I couldn’t say that I minded.

He looked peaceful when he slept. No supernatural problems, no feuds, no hunters, just peace. My hand unconsciously landed on his cheek, softly stroking his cheek. Still succumbed to slumber, he leaned into the touch, nuzzling his head onto my hand like a puppy. I wish this could be the way it always was, but now that I knew the reality of the world we were in, there was no chance it would ever stay this way.

Deciding to let him sleep longer, I tiptoed down the stairs to the kitchen where breakfast had already been prepared. I looked around and noticed that their car keys were gone, which meant they had left early in the morning to do whatever it was that they always did. I greeted Brody who had trotted my way from the living room, and filled his dog bowl, adding a few tasty treats. While I served two plates, I put the coffee machine to run, ensuring the freshest pot for the morning. I looked around for a tray to take the breakfast upstairs in case my parents came back at any moment, eating my food as the coffee brewed. Placing some cream and sugars on the tray, I made my way back to the bedroom where Derek was starting to wake up, Brody following behind.

“Morning, sour wolf.” I softly pushed open the door, the tray in front of me. Derek was rubbing the night from his eyes, a soft smile playing on his lips. Upon seeing the man, Brody jumped on the bed greeting him with slobbery kissed. Derek laughed and petted his head as he laid at the foot of the bed.

“Morning,” he yawned. “Whatcha got there?”

“Some eggs, bacon, and hash browns. Also, some coffee.” He took the tray from my hands and set it on the bed. Taking one of the coffee cups, I sat over on my desk to work on the homework I had left pile during the week. Derek grabbed the plate and came to stand behind me, leaning down to rest his chin on my shoulder.”

“What are you doing?” He inquired, downing the food from the plate quickly.

“Homework. You know, the thing people my age have to do to be able to graduate from high school with good grades.” I looked to the side, my heart beating faster noticing the closeness of our faces. “I’m sure you wouldn’t know much about that.”

“I’ll have you know I was a good enough student.”

“Emphasis on good enough.” I booped his nose with my pen and continued my work. “When you’re done you should head home, don’t want my parents catching you here just in case.”

“Why? We’re not doing anything.” He sipped his coffee and sat down on the bed, Brody laying his head on his lap. I turned my chair and faced him, a laugh escaping my lips.

“I think you’re forgetting who you are and who my family is. Apart from that, I don’t think my dad will particularly enjoy the fact that a 21-year-old werewolf is in his teenage daughter’s bedroom, alone.” I grinned. “But suit yourself. I’d love to see how it will play out.”

“Alright, but can I at least take you out some time this week?” My heartbeat quickened, the sound loud enough for me to hear. “Is that a yes?”

“It’s not a no,” I grinned.

“I kind of need an answer,” he pressed. A grin played on his lips by the point he had stood and rested his hands on the arms of the chair.

“How about, I’ll let you know?”

“I’ll take it,” he smiled. “I’ll text you.”

“Alright, I’ll be waiting.” He kissed my cheek and grabbed his jacket to head towards the door. “Where are you going?”

“Home?”

“Not through the door you’re not.” The dumbfounded look on his face was hilarious. “what would I do if my parents walked in.”

“I’m fast, you know. Like supernaturally fast.”

“Mm, I’ve seen you. Not fast enough.”

“Fine,” he surrendered. “Keep watch of your phone.”

“I will,” I smiled. He took a step back and in the blink of an eye, he was gone. Brody got alerted by the sudden move and jumped off the bed to bark at the window, standing on his hind legs to prop his eye out. I joined his side and saw Derek standing normally in my backyard as if he hadn’t just jumped out of a two-story window. He waved and I waved back as he became a blur, vanishing before my very eyes.

I slumped down on my bed and ran my hands over my face. What was I doing? There were so many things that were pit against us. My 18th birthday was still a little less than a year away, he had something going on with Erica, my family and he are natural-born enemies, we are currently under the terror of a reptilian shapeshifting Jackson, and that was just scratching the surface. I couldn’t scrutinize why he would ask me out too much, it was probably not even in a romantic way. It could just well be that he wanted to keep an eye on me since I was new to this whole werewolf, Kanima, hunter thing.

A couple of hours went by where I took Brody out for a walk, finished what was left of my homework, and started watching a movie when my phone went off.

“Hey, I heard the good news! You’re staying in town.”

“Hey, Allison. Yeah, it looks that way.”

“Well then, I believe you owe some people an apology.”

“What could you possibly mean?” I scoffed. But she was right, as hard as it was to admit.

“Don’t act dumb, (Y/N). You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“I don’t like it when you’re right,” I sighed. “What do you think I should do?”

“I could invite them over to your house and you could apologize to them. They never object to free pizza.”

I was glad. Instead of sulking on the 'he likes me, he likes me not' nonsense, I prepared the house for Allison and her friends, the people I hope to win over. One by one they arrived at my doorstep. Scott, Stiles, Lydia, and Allison. I had put out some snacks and the pizza I had bought. Scott and Stiles were not shy about their hunger as they dove in right away.

"So, what's the purpose of this meeting?" Lydia asked, her usual cocky attitude on full show.

"Uh, well, I wanted to apologize for being such a bitch these past few weeks."

"Hm, understatement of the century." Stiles chuckled with his mouth full.

"Actually, she can be 1,000 times worse. That was just level 1 bitchiness."

"Point taken. But why would you apologize? We get it you don't want to be our friend."

"That's not it, it's just... ugh... Look, it’s honestly a very long story, but moving around it’s hard to cut ties and start over for so long. After a while it’s easier to builds walls up and maintain everyone at arm’s length." They all stared at me. Hopefully I was getting through to them. "But this time I'm changing that. I want to be your friend and that's why I'm apologizing."

"Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I've always considered you my friend. I mean, I've considered Lydia my friend and she hates me."

"Oh, please, Stiles. I don't hate you, you're just, um.... special."

"I'll take it."

"We understand. And of course you're our friend, (Y/N). You were just too stubborn to notice." Scott smiled at me. "Now, is there more pizza?"

"How the hell did you two boys just finish two boxes of pizza?"

"We're growing?" Stiles said with his mouth full.

"Barely," Allison mumbled.

"You know I can hear you, right?"

"That's the point, Scott."

The whole room laughed and continued to enjoy a very pleasant afternoon. It felt weird to finally feel like I belonged somewhere; that there were people around me that cared for me despite my flaws. As I looked around the faces of the group that had welcomed me with open arms, I couldn’t help but feel that someone was missing; the person that had first accepted me.

The clock had hit 4 o’clock when the last piece of food was gone, and the gang had gone home. After cleaning up, I decided it was time to call Isaac. I didn’t like the person he had become after the bite. But I couldn’t say I didn’t understand. He felt confident, strong, but he was using the wrong outlet. Just like I was.

“So, you’re finally talking to me,” Isaac chuckled, a cocky tone to his voice.

“Only if you’re done being a douche.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ever since you turned into a werewolf you’ve been nothing short of unbearable with your cocky behavior and holier-than-thou attitude.” I could hear him shifting on the other line, the news taking him aback. It seems Derek hadn’t told his pack that I knew everything.

“H-how… who told you?”

“Derek, your alpha. He told me everything the other day. I know all about werewolves, kanimas, hunters, pack, blah, blah, blah. But none of that excuses your behavior,’’ I sighed. “So, are you done being a dick?”

“Maybe,” he chuckled. “Can I see you?”

“Sure. Why don’t we go grab a bite? I’ll pick you up.”

“Alright!” He sounded excited. “I’ll text you the address.”

After hanging up I decided to take a quick shower before leaving. I threw on a white t-shirt and jeans and paired them with my leather jacket. As I tied my boots, I reached for the keys of my dad’s Chevrolet Suburban. Hopefully, I didn’t crash. In the car, I typed in the address Isaac had sent me. It was an industrial loft not too far from my own home. I honked my horn to notify Isaac I was there as well as sent a text.

“Are you stalking me now?”

I jumped at the sound of Derek’s voice and the knock he left on my window. . He appeared like a ghost and leaned on my door. “I could say the same about you. I’ve never been here before.”

“I live here,” he laughed, pointing at the building. “It’s my loft.”

“I’m here to pick up Isaac,” I said sheepishly. “So, he’s been staying with you. I thought you live in the woods.”

“It’s my family’s house and it’s under my ownership, but it’s not under livable conditions. And, yes, Isaac has been staying with me.”

“Hey, Derek.” Isaac finally emerged from the doors and jogged up to my car, patting Derek on the back. The man’s expression rapidly changed as soon as Isaac joined the conversation. The playful smile he wore had been replaced by a menacing scowl. “We’re going out for a while. I’ll see you later.”

We said goodbye and as I drove off, I stared at Derek. His body was tense, and his jaw was clenched. He was angry, but I didn’t know why. When we were alone, he was a completely different person than what he showed to others. There was this terrifying façade that was impenetrable by everyone else, yet he was a completely different person with me; he was an Alpha to the others, but he was just Derek to me.

I parked the car at a small burger joint Isaac directed me to. It wasn’t too full, so our food came out quickly. We sat at a table in the back, far from any prying ears.

“So, what did you mean about this cocky attitude?” He popped a french fry into his mouth, playing around with his food. “You seemed quite mad about it. Mad enough that you avoided me for some time.”

“Ever since you transformed you’ve been carrying yourself like you’re above everyone, you don’t even bother to be respectful of teachers or anyone for that matter. I miss the old Isaac.”

“You mean the pushover wimpy kid?” He scoffed. “I can’t say the same.”

“That’s not what I meant.” My hand reached out to his clenched fist and his hold softened. “You were nice and respectful, and knew how to treat others because you knew how it felt to be mistreated. Of course, you could have done with more confidence, but that’s not what this is. It’s almost as if you’re turning into Jackson, heaven forbid.”

His eyes softened and I knew I was getting through the wall he had built up.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N). It's just… this is the first time in my life that I have felt powerful, like nothing and no one can touch me. I've dealt with so much shit that I thought I deserved to act like that," he sighed. "Can you ever forgive me?"

“You’re practically my best friend, how could I not?”

“Thanks.” He gave me a smile that I happily reciprocated. For the first time in a while, I was seeing the Isaac I had met some time ago. “So, what is it that you needed to speak to me so eagerly.”

“Remember how I mentioned that I would be moving at the end of the year so you shouldn’t get attached?” He nodded. “Well, it seems you’re gonna have to put up with me for a long time. Beacon Hills is now my home.”

“What?! That’s great!” He exclaimed a little too loud. Heads turned towards us and Isaac tried to hide his blush. “Does that mean we can truly be friends now? Not just study partners or casual conversation acquaintances?”

“Yes, Isaac. That’s exactly what that means,” I laughed. His face had lit up as the hard mask he wore finally broke apart. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask you, what happened the night that I picked you up? It was such a weird night.”

His whole demeanor changed, clearly a sore subject to talk about. "If Derek told you what we are I presume he told you about everything else." I nodded. "The Kanima. It killed my father. We, um, had gotten into a fight and I ran out. It seems he went out looking for me but didn't get to me. I found him dead in his car, but I ran and called you."

" Isaac, why didn't you tell me? I mean, I know why you didn't tell me, but something; you should have told me something.” I looked into his eyes, worry evident in them. He had gone through such a traumatic event basically by himself. “Is that why the police were looking for you?"

He nodded. "They thought I had something to do with his murder because of something Jackson said. He was unfortunately my neighbor and had seen me running out of the house, but there were no tracks leading to me. I'm not a fugitive anymore." He smiled softly.

“I’m glad, Isaac, really. And I’m truly sorry for everything you’ve had to endure alone for all these years. You didn’t deserve it.”

“Thanks, (Y/N). At least that part of my life is over.”

“Now we just have to get that damn Kanima and get on with our lives.” We laughed.

Before we knew it, the sky outside had turned dark, signaling the arrival of the night. The car ride back was filled with mindless chitchat and soft background music. It had been a long few days and exhaustion was evident in both of us. Soon enough, the grey building had come into view.

“Do you want to come in for a bit?” Isaac leaned into the open window of the driver’s side.

“I think I’m just gonna head on home. I’m a bit tired and we have school tomorrow.” I smiled. “But, I’ll take you up on the offer someday.”

“Isaac, good to see you’re back,” Derek announced himself, his two betas following behind. “You’re late for training.”

“Sorry, Derek. Time slipped away.”

“Sorry won’t cut it.” His voice was commanding and a bit intimidating. I could see why everyone around me feared him. “Go with Erica and Boyd. Get started.”

'‘Bye, (Y/N). I’ll see you tomorrow.” I smiled and nodded, trying my best to comfort him.

“See you.” Derek stood back as we both watched the three figures disappear into the building. His chest moved, heaving, and he reeked of jealousy. “What’s your problem?”

“What?” Did he truly believe I was that oblivious? “I just…”

“You’re acting like a prissy child, Derek. You knew where Isaac was, who he was with, and that there was a possibility that he would come back late. There’s no need to grill him that hard.”

“He’s old enough to manage his time correctly, (Y/N). He needs to learn discipline. This has nothing to do with you.”

“Clearly, that’s not what’s happening here,’’ I laughed dryly. “Look, pardon the metaphor, but this whole alpha male act is gonna get very tiring, very quickly. If this is how you’re gonna be, don’t bother on scheduling that date this week.”

“Don’t be like that, (Y/N). I swear this has nothing to do with you. There are certain rules that we have to abide by, a different life. It’s complicated.”

“You’re not making any sense, Derek.”

“It’s hard to explain.”

“Yesterday we said no secrets, Derek. What changed in the hours that have passed?”

“Nothing’s changed. I’m sorry if I seemed too harsh on Isaac, but I have to be. They’re young and reckless, and it’s my job to make sure they stay safe. No matter the cost.” He ran his hands across his face as he let out a loud sigh. “Why don’t we just keep the supernatural and our personal lives apart.”

“We can try that for a while, but they’re bound to intersect at some point.”

“I know, but…”

“Let’s play it your way and see how it goes, okay? And lay off Isaac and the others? They are just kids.”

“I’ll try,” he smiled softly. “Text me when you get home, okay?”

“If I remember.”

I backed the car up and sped back to my house. When I opened the garage, my father was sitting on the spot where the car usually went. I had forgotten to tell them I would be gone, and my phone’s battery had died a while back. I was in so much trouble.

“Good to know you’re alive, darling daughter.” The sarcasm spewed from my father’s mouth, and it stung.

“I’m so sorry. I went out with a friend and my phone died. And I know I forgot to say I was leaving the house, but I rarely do that, so please forgive me.”

“Calm down, (Y/N),” he laughed. “We just wanted to make sure you were okay. You weren’t answering your phone, so we got worried. But remember, there’s a tracker on the car. We figured you were out. And I’m glad to hear you have a friend. It’s about time.”

“Thanks, dad.” He wrapped me in a hug and patted my head. If he knew who my friends were I’m sure he wouldn’t feel the same way. “But, if you knew where I was, what was this whole scary setup? I for sure thought you were going to kill me.”

“Nothing like that, honey. But your mother and I have something we have to talk to you about.”

“What is it? You can’t take back that we are staying.”

“It’s not that, but it is serious. Let’s go, your mom is waiting in the kitchen.”

My heart was beating at a rapid pace, a million thoughts running through my head. Although, at the bottom of my heart I knew what this talk was going to be about.

Tag List: @hellowinterlane​ @lokisgoddesofpower​ @mersuperwholocked-lowlife @malar-region

[jae-daddy]

Red Rose (5)

jaebum mafia series 

one / two / three / four / five 

masterlist 

pairing: im jaebum x reader  genre: mafia, angst, romance, mature plot: im jaebum was your first love in university, but then disappeared, and now he’s back and he is a mafia leader? a/n: im so excited to write this story! i hope yall enjoy it too! not edited <3

You smiled at the dark-haired boy juggling the armful of snacks towards you. You get up, running over to him and helping him place everything onto the picnic mat.

“This is so much stuff, Jaebum,” you remarked looking at the pile of snacks heaping on the light pink blanket. Jaebum didn’t reply, instead, he reached into the bag he brought during the first run from the car and pulled out cushions and more blankets.

He set three books out for you and plopped himself onto the blanket. He lay a cushion underneath his head but kept a hand underneath his head as his other hand beckoned you towards him, “Come on babe, there are so many clouds today. I bet I can make more animals out of them than you.”

“Expand the category to anything,” you lay on his chest, crossing your ankles as you reached for one of the books he picked out for you. You opened the book, the smell of his cologne flowing through the pages, “And watch me whoop your ass as I read this book.”

Jaebum hummed tauntingly, as he brought his fingers into your hair, running through it gently.

You sighed happily, putting the book down on your stomach and gazed up at the sky. Once again you were reminded of how big this world was, how much bigger it was than your mind could comprehend. You were so small, so insignificant, but at that moment the golden sunshine fluttering in your chest was endless. In that moment, the entire universe was just this; just you and him. His heartbeat gently beating against your neck, your fingers finding their way to his.

There hand in hand, on the pink blanket, under the never-ending sky, you were endlessly happy.

“I don’t understand why we have to do this,” you heard him grumble for the hundredth time. You had let it go the first time, understandingly, but every time he repeated his resentment, every time he complained, the room became hotter. The apartment grew smaller, shrinking close around you; and this was the last straw. You couldn’t do it anymore.

You closed the last of the box from the kitchen and stared at the tall boy who made your living room look like a dollhouse.

Yugyeom looked up closing the final box, his eyes narrowing with irritation. You didn’t say anything and glared back at him.

This little brat was acting as if you were the one making him pack your apartment for you. You were helping him, and you didn’t need his help in the first place. Actually, you wouldn’t have had to move in the first place, but here you were moving out so you don’t get murdered in the middle of your sleep.

It was all Im Jaebum’s decision. Him deciding how to keep you safe, and him deciding to send this tall brat to help you pack up.

“Thank god we’re finished, anymore of your whining and I would have to murder you,” you rolled your eyes at him.

A corner of his red lips lifted as his eyes narrowed further, “You sure are violent for a waitress.”

Your eyes narrowed further at the way he said the waitress. He said it as an insult. As if was beneath him; as if being a waitress made you undeserving of his respect. And he should be respecting you, you had saved his life.

“And you whine like a child for being such a big bad criminal,” you smiled back at him.

Before he could reply, Jinyoung walked back into the apartment getting off the phone, “The movers will be here in fifteen minutes, are we done?”

“We done?” Yugyeom choked staring at Jinyoung. Yugyeom jabbed his tongue against his cheek angrily before muttering, “You didn’t do anything. I did.”

“I packed!” You protested at the same time as Jinyoung.

Yugyeom didn’t skip a beat, he pointed to Jinyoung first, “You have been gone for the past two hours making a phone call. You packed one box in total.” He then turned to you, scowling, “It’s not helping when it is your house. This is your shit-hole of a house, your shit, so you should be doing the packing anyway.”

Jinyoung just cooed, mockingly at the younger boy, “Is our little baby tired?”

“Aww,” you cooed along.

If looks could kill you and Jinyoung would be ten feet underground right now. But he didn’t say anything more and just stomped out of the apartment making you cringe. You were sure your neighbours downstairs would be cursing at the loud noise.

You turned to Jinyoung with a small smile, “Do you want a drink? I got four beers left in the freezer.”

“Why not,” he sighed, settling into the two-seater sofa, in the middle of the living room. You came back, passing him a bottle before sinking into the old sofa next to him.

“This is a really small place,” he commented talking in the apartment. It was small, it was just bigger than the hall you had breakfast in this morning. You hated the colour of the walls, but now that you were leaving you knew you were going to miss the way it clashed with every piece of furniture you ever got.

“It was good enough for me,” you replied, before taking a sip of the beer. You gasped at the old sensation burning down your throat making him turn towards you with raised eyebrows. You just smiled, gesturing to the beer, “It’s so cold and my throat feels so... raw.”

“Well, you did have an eventful past week.”

“Has it really been a week?” You both looked at the murky pink walls.

“Actually, it’s been less than a week.” He answered.

“It feels like it's been a lifetime,” you whispered.

Jinyoung stayed quiet for a few moments before saying, “It'll remain hard for a while until we solve this.”

“I know,” you sighed, taking a sip.

“It does get better though,” he took a sip before adding, “Or at least you get used to it.”

You bit your lip as a question bubbled inside you. You wanted to ask him why they did this if it was so tough. Why did they choose to be criminals when it was so dangerous, when they were getting hurt and hurting others. But you didn’t know if it was your place to ask him that.

Instead, you asked something that was probably equally as stupid, “How do you know Jaebum?”

His eyes crinkled as he chuckled at the question, shaking his head with a wide smile on his face, “JB and I go way back.”

“How back?” You turned towards him, completely interested.

They couldn’t have gone too back, because back then you knew Im Jaebum. And your Im Jaebum used to find the shapes of ducklings in the cloud, not shoot men and get blood splattered all over his suit.

You would’ve known of Jinyoung, in a story or heard his name in passing at the very least. But this was the first time you had heard of him.

Was it after his dad passed away? Was it so traumatic for Jaebum that he joined the wrong crowd?

“Nappies,” Jinyoung snorted, answering your question. “Our parents were friends, so we grew up together. He is my best friend and my boss, but he is my brother first and foremost. We always have each other's backs.”

You didn’t say anything and just stared at him, in confusion. How could he and Jaebum be so close but you never heard of him? No photo of him in his dorm, no appearance in the stories of his childhood he would tell you. It was almost as if Jinyoung had been a ghost for Jaebum in college.

You didn’t have the heart to tell Jinyoung that Jaebum didn’t mention him to you. So, you just continued to stare at him as you took him his dark features.

“All of us, us boys,” Jinyoung took a long sip of the beer. “We are all brothers, we will sacrifice ourselves before letting the other get in harm's way.”

You smiled at that, even though they were a bunch of criminals, “That’s admirable.”

“You’re part of it now,” Jinyoung looked over at you, meeting your eyes with his sparkling ones. “We protect you like one of us now.”

“Just for three months,” you breathed, feeling uncomfortable under his heavy gaze.

Jinyoung nodded slowly, after a long moment he asked, “Will you move back here after it ends?”

“No, I can’t,” you bit your lip, shrugging a shoulder. “There’s no returning policy in this apartment.”

“That’s good then,” he said, making you frown. Jinyoung shot you a loopy smile before he explained, “It’s better to move so no one knows where you live anymore.”

A shiver ran through you at his words. It wasn’t just Marco’s men who could be after you. Certainly, they weren’t the only enemies Jaebum and his mafia had, the others might come after you too if they found out.

How long does this continue? When do you get to get out of here, truly free?

“The movers are here,” Mr Grumpy walked in, taking an unopened beer from between you and Jinyoung and chugging it down, “Fuck’s sake I needed that.”

“Language!” Jinyoung gasped.

//

You sipped from your glass of orange juice and vodka, shimmering your shoulders as you hopped around the room. The rhythm of the happy song wrapped around you as you did a twirl trying to keep the drink from spilling.

Due to the very imminent danger that currently resided over you, you had three weeks off work. A whole month of no working, of no diner, of doing absolutely nothing. Therefore, like every other sane person on basically house arrest, you got tired of spending day after day in your room.

In the past three days, you barely saw anyone. The last time you had seen anyone was Jackson who had come to inform you that you would not be going to work due to security issues. When you asked how they managed to get Randy to agree, he shrugged with a charming smile and said, “We can be very persuasive, waitress.”

It seemed like everyone called you waitress. Well, everyone except Jinyoung and Jaebum. Jinyoung being the gentleman he was called you respectfully by your name, and Jaebum, well, he just didn’t talk to you at all.

After the little meltdown, you sat down with yourself and made a list of all the pros and cons of staying here. The pros included you were safe, you will not get kidnapped or murdered, you would live under the same roof as Jaebum which meant you would run into him, talk to him and maybe, just maybe, everything would go back to normal. Cons were that they, themselves, kill you, use you as a drug mule, and you find out Jaebum remembers but is ignoring you because he despises you.

You groaned at the thought and took another deep chug from the glass in your hand. You were tired of staring at your wall endlessly, so you decided to have a little party by yourself. You went down to the kitchen where the staff were shaking as if you’d pull out a gun and shoot them any second.

You took another drink for that example, trying to drown the nausea bubbling in your stomach.

Don’t think about it, you reminded yourself. If I don’t think about it, it didn’t happen.

You went to the kitchen and the kitchen staff almost shit themselves. You tried to make them feel relaxed, but your anxiousness only made them more on guard and scared. When you asked for a bottle of vodka and orange juice, and chicken nuggets, they were more than happy to please you.

To spell your boredom away you were drinking vodka, eating chicken nuggets, and singing and dancing with your entire soul to your playlist. You walked over to the speaker, cranking it up before playing the next song.

You groaned at how perfect the song was, you welcomed the nostalgia as you spun away from the control. You shimmied towards your plate of chicken nuggets, picking one up and stuffing it into your mouth as you began singing the lyrics.

“Oh god,” suddenly the music was so faint you could barely hear it.

“Oh no, that was the best part!” You groaned, turning around, singing the part with all your heart. The words got stuck in your throat as you saw the familiar boy standing in all black in front of you.

You gave him a toothy grin, as you sighed, happily, “Finally.”

Jaebum stared at you with an unreadable expression.

“Ugh,” you groaned taking him in. It was so unfair, it was so fucking unfair. How the hell did he get hotter over the years, isn’t age supposed to make people not attractive? Im Jaebum was ageing like fine wine, “And I wanna drink all of it.”

You pointed at him, your finger moving in circles despite you standing straight.

Im Jaebum looked like sin in all black. His dark locks messily pushed back, revealing his fucking sexy forehead. His forehead was so sexy, how had you never realised how sexy it was before? Maybe because he didn’t put it up before, your Jaebum had his hair falling over his forehead.

He would feel uncomfortable in the black shirt this Jaebum wore, and the black slacks. Your Jaebum would have been itching to get out of those expensive black dress-shoes and into his converses.

But this Jaebum was stunning. The dark black of midnight stark against his pale skin made his dark features even darker. It made him look more dangerous, stronger, more... angry.

“You’ve had more than enough to drink,” he crossed his arms in front of him. Your gaze followed the way his arms bulged under the black material. You licked your lips as your eyes roamed over him.

He did get a lot fitter than you remembered him. Maybe because he was a man this time around and not a boy.

He was a man though.

Such a typical fucking man, trying to dictate your life. This is exactly what you had seen growing up, a man trying to dominate over the females around him; that alpha male ego bullshit.

“I’ll do whatever the fuck I want,” you told him, giving him your best sassy look.

Jaebum didn’t look intimidated. For a brief moment you thought you saw a glimpse of a smile on his lips, but that might have been your imagination. Because all he did was shake his head, his face emotionless and sombre as he replied, “If you have any more, you’ll regret it.”

“So, I’ll be the one regretting it,” you shrugged, walking towards him. You lost your balance but caught yourself. You held up a hand towards Jaebum, who had flinched slightly at your potential fall. You stood up straighter, “I’ll vomit, I’ll have a headache. I’ll be the one to die if those other mafia people kidnap me, what’s it to you?”

“I’m not having any conversation with you in this condition,” he shook his head, grabbing the vodka bottle before walking towards the door.

You frowned, suddenly feeling scared that he’s going to leave. You didn’t want him to go, even if all he did was stand there and glare at you, pretending not to remember you, you wanted him to stay.

“No, you can’t-” you hiccuped, you can’t leave, you wanted to tell him.

Jaebum sighed, looking incredible in his black outfit, as he glanced at the vodka bottle in his hand, “You-”

He let out another exhausted sigh before saying, “I’m taking it for myself. I want to have some.”

You smiled brightly at that.

“Yes! Of course, you can have some!” You sat down in front of the fireplace, beside the table with the chicken nuggets. You gestured to the plate, as the heat of the fire gently hovered over your back, “Here have some chicken nuggets, it tastes exactly like McDonald's with the sauce!”

Before Jaebum could reply you felt yourself falling backwards, but you quickly caught yourself. You let out a little giggle as Jaebum found standing with both his arms out as if he could catch you from across the room.

“I’m good,” you mumbled. You were about to say more but then you started thinking of the picnic that day with Jaebum. No one could’ve predicted it, but one moment you fell asleep under the summer sky only to wake up to a rainstorm.

You felt someone settle next to you. You looked over to find Jaebum, and you smiled brightly, “You came.”

“Of course, I’d always come back to you,” he smiled back brightly.

Jaebum’s frown deepened, making your smile turn upside down.

You watched him in the flames of the fire behind you, and your heart sank, “You don't smile anymore. I haven’t seen you smile since I met you again.”

You reached up and brushed a strand of hair that fell onto his forehead. His bright dark eyes met your drunk gaze, and you frowned this time. You felt tears prickle your eyes as you ran the back of your hand down his cheek, “There is a darkness around you. You walk with it, or it walks with you. Why?”

Why are you so sad?

Why are you here?

What happened to make you like this?

Was it all the people you have hurt? Does it weigh down on you? Does it hurt you thinking about them too?

Did you start as a mistake too? Wrong place, wrong time, and this is your life now?

I understand how you feel. I’m just like you.

I think of those men I’ve shot too. I am just as bad. Does the numbers or intention even matter when the blood on your hands is the same?

“Pew pewpewpew pew,” you aimed your finger gun as you shot different areas of the room. You had shot real humans, you were a shooter. You knew how to use guns. You were dangerous too, you understood Jaebum, “Pew pew.”

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jaebum stared at you, terrified.

You turned towards him, your eyes heavy as you gave him a close-lipped smile. You lifted up your finger gun and blew the smoke coming out from the shots you just took.

“I am,” you answered, slurring, dangerous, a criminal, bad as just as him, all about the bad life, “Pewpew pew.”

I’ve missed you so much. Your eyes prickled with tears again, making Jaebum’s dark eyes widened at the emotion in your eyes.

“You’re...” your words got lost as you slurred more, finding it harder to say each word. You frowned remembering he wanted to drink but he hadn’t even taken a sip of the alcohol or had any of the chicken nuggets. Don’t you “like chicken nuggets?”

You used to love them before, your bottom lip quivered as a few tears spilt from your eyes. You missed Jaebum, you missed him so much.

You were so happy he was here.

You grabbed his hand and held it tight, before resting your head on your elbow. You’re just going to take a short little- no, not a nap. Just close your eyes for like one second, literally.

“You cried because I’m like chicken nuggets?” was the last thing you heard him whisper before you knocked out.

//

You groaned as you sat on the table the next morning. The sunshine was too bright, the world was spinning, and you felt like throwing up with every step you took. You steadied yourself in your seat, holding your hammering head in your hands as you held back the urge to throw up.

“Someone had a wild night,” Bambam commented getting into his seat.

Yugyeom sat beside him, smirking at your pain, “God, you’re pathetic, waitress.”

“Just because you’re not fun to be with alone doesn’t mean everyone else is too,” Mark came to your rescue sitting on the first chair on the right. Your gaze went to the seat Jaebum would occupy and internally groaned.

Why did you drink so much?

You had said so much; done so much.

Your stomach twisted when the memory of your softly caressing his soft cheek attacked your mind.

Oh, god, you were dead.

This is why you are having breakfast in the hall, and not in your bedroom like the other days.

You turned towards Mark, the hangover taking a backseat at the new terror lodging around you, “Why are we eating here today?”

“We have breakfast together every Thursdays,” he replied, and you eased back into your chair.

So, it wasn't for you. He didn't bring you out in front of everyone to shame you, or to kick you out. It was just a tradition, that’s fine.

No, it was not fine. You still had done and said all those things yesterday.

Omg, did you cry?

You cringed as the memory of the tears spilling from your eyes struck you this time. God, why were you like this?

Before you could curse yourself any longer, the remaining boys walked in. Jinyoung settled next to you giving you a polite smile, as Jackson and Youngjae got into their respective chairs.

You didn’t want to look at Jaebum due to your embarrassing behaviour last night, but you couldn’t help yourself. Your gaze travelled to him and your breath got caught in your chest.

He was so sinfully handsome. He was once again dressed in complete black with his hair pushed back, but a few longer strands flopped forward. He needed a haircut or his hair would no one be able to stay pushed back. But the long strands made him look even more devilish.

Jaebum didn’t glance at you once as he walked towards his seat. He didn’t refer to you or acknowledge your existence all through the breakfast.

None of the others did too, all busy talking about their business and all the things they had to do this week.

You tried to listen to get hints of what kind of businesses they were involved in, but all you heard was white-collar affairs.

“Are you going to get drunk today too?” Youngjae teased when he saw you push around your breakfast.

You glared up at him, and then Yugyeom who matched his mocking smirk. What did these two have against you?

“I’m not an alcoholic,” you retorted. The two rolled their eyes, but it was that little huff of amusement that came from the head of the table that made you freeze.

You turned your surprised eyes over to Jaebum, who tried to cover his chuckle with a cough. His dark gaze met yours, and when he realised you won’t give in and look away, his shoulders slumped slightly as he said, “Well, you have been drinking every day for the past few days.”

“How do you--”

“I know everything that happens in my house,” he cut you off.

The thing is you should be terrified of this Jaebum. You didn’t know what he was capable of. You knew your Jaebum would never hurt you, but you didn’t know the stranger before you. You didn't know what made him tick, what he did to punish or who he even was.

But you stared into his calculating eyes as you replied, “I got carried away yesterday.”

The corner of his lip quirked up ever so lightly as he said, “I could tell.”

You just glared at him as he picked up a chicken nugget from his plate and bit into it, not shifting his eyes from you. That asshole, he made the cooks make chicken nuggets just to mock you about last night. What a little piece of shit, challenging you while eating chicken nuggets.

You hated the way your body reacted to him though. You were supposed to feel anger and rage course through you. But the way he bit into the piece of meat and stared his fiery gaze into your eyes made you feel hot all over. You had never wished to be a chicken nugget more than you did at that moment.

“Maybe,” a voice said beside you, snapping you out from his trance. You turned to find Jinyoung looking over at Jaebum. Jaebum’s attention was on Jinyoung now, silently telling him to continue, “Y/n just needs a break.”

“She is on a break,” Yugyeom snorted.

Jinyoung ignored him and continued, “She has been stuck in her room for the past few days, and will continue to be for a while. You can’t blame her for getting bored and trying to get her mind off things.”

“So, what do you suggest?” Jaebum lifted a perfectly manicured eyebrow.

You turned to Jinyoung, taking in all his beauty as he stood in front of his boss and talked for you. Even without you telling him, somehow, he knew how you felt and how you would certainly lose your sanity if you stayed locked up in there for a moment longer.

You smiled softly at him as he said, “Let her work.”

You rose an eyebrow at Jinyoung asking him what the hell did he mean by letting me. Jinyoung blinked at your reassuringly as he nodded slightly, telling you to trust him.

“No way,” Jackson said, “We’ll have to babysit her there.”

“Fine,” Jinyoung shrugs, turning to Jaebum. “There is an opening in the company, and I hire her.”

“Bullshit-”

“-Is she even qualified?”

“You wouldn’t hire me?!”

Jinyoung clicked his tongue and silence fell over the room. He continued to look at Jaebum and said, “I did a background check on her. She has a business degree from an Ivy League university.”

The same one you went to, you bit your tongue from screaming towards Jaebum.

Well, it wasn't like you wanted the job. But it was better than being stuck here all day.

“She’ll leave soon and we will need a replacement, and it’s important business,” Yugyeom glared at you. “How can we trust that she won’t sell our information to other companies.”

“Ah,” Jinyoug sighed, nodding. You snapped your head towards him, betrayed. How could he do this? Wasn’t he on your side?

“I guess we’ll have to employ her around the house then,” he murmured, you narrowed your eyes at how insincere he sounded. You saw the false lightbulb go over his head, as he acted terribly surprised and exclaimed, “I know! She can help you with the Greenhouse, Jaebum!”

“No!” You both answer at the same time. You meet his gaze as he shoots lasers through them to kill you. You smirked at that and lean back. A smile spread over your lips before nodding enthusiastically at Jinyoung, “Oh that sounds perfect!”

Jinyoung looks down at you, grinning, “That’s settled then! She remains on the property and doesn’t get bored. Perfect.”

“Perfect,” you smirk, staring at the disdained male at the head of the table.

He said he couldn’t remember you.

You stabbed a slice of apple with your fork before chomping a big bite off, let’s see how much longer he can pretend.

[realityescapee01]

You Got It Good, Stiles

Steo as Isaac sees it

"You need someone like that, Stiles. Exactly like him." Isaac clapped Stiles's shoulder. Towering over him. He was back to Beacon Hills for a while. He just went when he heard about Erica and Boyd. He just wanted to pay respects.

He then stayed a few days to see how things are. How things changed. And sees that one change in Stiles's life: Theo Raeken.

Isaac thought, if this guy had been around earlier, Jackson being the kanima would've been found out quickly. Jennifer wouldn't stand a chance. The alpha pack would've been definitely played and sent out somehow.

"So, where do you wanna go, Isaac?" Stiles settled in the drivers' seat.

"What's the best hangout place here right now?"

"Okay, I'll bring you there. But we gotta pick up Theo first."

Stiles told Isaac who Theo was. All of it. Including what happened with Scott. Liam. Lydia. and Stiles. Then the wild hunt. Then the civilian hunters. And how he got to work off all those bad things and how he was reformed. But Isaac could tell that the smarts, and the cunning is still there. Stiles just left out one detail when he was briefing Isaac about Theo. That Theo is his boyfriend now.

Theo came to view. "Oh... Damn, Stiles!" and Isaac had his mouth wide open. "He's very good looking."

"Yup, Isaac." Stiles and Isaac's eyes dragged from Theo's head to toe. "Fucking beautiful, huh?" Stiles boasted a little.

Theo got in and greeted Isaac. Isaac greeted back then smiled back to Stiles. Stiles just grinned and began driving. And showed Isaac everything new in Beacon Hills. Isaac listens but observes Theo closely. And he could tell Theo knows he's observing him. He just doesn't give him much thought, probably because Stiles already told him who he was.

When they got to the hip mall uptown, Isaac asked Stiles about what has been itching him since the 3 of them got in the jeep. He smells Theo on Stiles. And Stiles on Theo.

"Whoa! Boyfriend, Stiles? I never thought."

"Me too! I would've never imagined." Stiles rubbed the back of his neck.

"Are you two... did he, you know."

Stiles just grinned and tipped his head a little to the side, allowing Isaac to look at his neck with werewolf eyes.

"Yeah. There is his mark."

"By the way, Isaac, do you know a way for me to mark Theo? I mean, humans don't really 'mark' like that. But I want to."

"How about the tattoo?"

"Nope. He heals very fast. No. Oh boy. Nope." Stiles shook his head violently, a tell that they already tried the tattoo.

"I'm afraid that's the only way I know. Sorry, Stiles."

"It's okay." Stiles dropped the topic.

They went around some more and ultimately ended up in the woods where Erica and Boyd... passed.

Stiles and Theo stayed back a little, giving Isaac some privacy. Then Isaac asked...

"Theo, if you were here back then. What would you have done?"

Stiles had told Theo about what happened before, Theo then began telling Isaac what he would've done back then. Isaac listened attentively. Theo's plans were good. They would've definitely worked. If only... maybe Erica and Boyd are with him in Paris right now.

Isaac was glad to know that the one who have Stiles right now is that guy named Theo Raeken. Stiles really needs someone as smart as him. And Isaac could tell Theo is devoted to the mole-speckled boy. Scott isn't exactly a great alpha. Honestly, Isaac thought Derek would be the ruler of Beacon Hills now, but after everything that happened to Derek, it's alright to just follow what he wants and live a free life as much as possible. He's glad Derek is out there in the world, with his sister. They deserve something else other than Beacon Hills.

Isaac doesn't hate Scott, it's just that from all he's seen and heard from Stiles, Scott isn't doing well as alpha. He hoped it had changed when he gets back from college. For Liam and the new pack members' sake. For Stiles, that boy is covered real well right now. Hell, if Theo ain't a chimera, he well could've been an alpha.

Stiles is good, pure, loyal. Would go deep into the woods in the dead of night for his friends. He needs someone that would kill for him. Literally. Balance. The light and the dark. Yin and Yang That's how it works.

That's why Isaac thought he'd be good for Stiles. Honestly, Isaac thought what happened was good in a way that Scott should put more importance and weight to Stiles's value in the pack. And Scott ought to know better. Mygod! Anyone would be wary. A beta suddenly showing up? Stiles got proofs. Stiles has a hunch. Oh, Scott. What were you thinking?

Anyways. He's time is up now. He must leave and go back to Paris. Stiles and Theo drove him to the bus stop.

"You got it good, Stiles."

"I know. I know, Isaac."

Isaac looked back at Theo. "You got Stiles's back, right?"

"As long as I live. And if I die before him, I'll find a way to get back." Theo answered him.

And Stiles was all blushing and flattered and thinking 'Oh, you're so gonna get laid later, Theo baby!!! ' Actually, Stiles wanted to jump him right there and then.

Isaac kinda knew what Stiles was thinking.

"Okay, hold up, Stiles. I'm leaving."

-+-+-+ ( complete ) +-+-+-

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[prurientpuddlejumper]

Cold Hands

Jackson Neill x Reader

For @storiesofsvu​​​’s Fall Bingo! Requested by @detectivebarba. Followed up in Cozy Sweaters​

Warnings: NSFW (smutty lines, no smut). Angst, cheating, breakup.

OK, so, my fluffy Jackson fics take place in a world where Sarah never happened or after she & Jackson broke up… But what if they didn’t? 

1,800 words

“Here’s another one: ‘Professor Neill is super dreamy. He’s a PILF.’ What’s a PILF?”

“I honestly don’t know. I don’t read these comments. I don’t care,” Jackson replied with irritation. He did, and he does, but he wasn’t going to let some cultist make him out to be an exploitative, charismatic leader.

“But you did ‘eff’ a student, right?”

Jackson laughed nervously under the hot stage lights.

“Any chance you had a sexual relationship with a student you used for a source in your article?” Cal Roberts, the man sitting across the news set from him, raised an eyebrow innocently, reveling in the way his little ace in the hole had Jackson pinned.

“Of course not. That would be unethical.”

“Right, right.”

How the fuck did he find out? When Sarah chose to go back to the Meyerist Movement instead of listening to reason, he didn’t think she would tell anyone. Their fringe movement was dangerous—restrictive to personal freedoms. Letting them know that she was his source would have put her in danger. The fact that one of its leaders knew blindsided him.

He was tense for the rest of the debate, and the cameras picked up on it. He looked like an asshole. The cult won this round as far as the audience was concerned.

As the cameras turned off and the PA came to unclip his mic, Jackson stepped close to Cal and said, low enough not to be overheard, “I did care about her. I do. Tell her I miss her, and I hope she’s OK.”

Guilt over their affair swirled in his gut as he walked off the set—and came to a screeching halt as he ran into you.

You had been sitting in the vacant live-audience area to watch the filming, but you were standing now, as if you’d gotten up to meet him but froze halfway there and were just… staring. Your eyes were dull.

“Who was he talking about?” you asked in a small voice.

Anger he could have handled. His ex-wife was always screaming at him for his screw-ups. But this was something worse.

He could have placated you with lies. Told you that everything with Sarah was before he met you, but you were too clever for that—too interested in his research not to realize when he started using her as a source. Besides, you didn’t deserve to be lied to again. If he hoped to salvage his relationship with you, then you deserved the truth from now on.

“Listen, let’s just… go home and talk.”

You silently nodded.

***

A thick silence haunted the car ride home, punctuated only by the howl of autumn wind through the dark city streets.

On the ride to the studio, you had been so animated, helping him prepare for the debate. You would pretend to be a Meyerist and argue against him so Jackson could practice his response. He put his hand on your thigh, and it was so warm. You squealed at his icy fingertips, but instead of batting them away, you shoved them deeper between your thighs. “Someone has to help your bad circulation,” you declared with a grin. “Can’t let you get frostbite.” He could barely focus on the road.

Now, when he tried to say something… to broach the subject… you only stared out the passenger window at the passing streetlights and bare trees.

He reached out to touch you, but you shrugged him off.

***

Jackson couldn’t have known the deafening chaos of that car ride home. His home, not yours, though you had all but moved in. You’d been planning to make it official when your lease was up, but now you would have to renew it.

You’d have to let your roommates know you’d be staying.

All these little thoughts swarmed through your head like post-it notes caught in a cyclone—reminders of a million mundane plans falling apart and being remade. The logistics of separating two entangled lives. Would you take your houseplant back or leave it in Jackson’s kitchen? There was never enough light for it in your apartment.

If you started thinking about the big things—who was the student? How long? How many nights did he say he was working late when he was with them?—then you might fall apart.

The car was silent, but inside your head was an endless dark roar.

Jackson parked in the driveway, and without a word, you began wandering through the house like a ghost, picking up your things and packing them up in a plastic garbage bag. Half your wardrobe was here. It should take two trips, but if you had to come back… if you had to see him again, and he asked you to stay, you might be too weak. So you’d have to get everything in one trip.

Your feet shuffled lifelessly into the bathroom to retrieve your toiletries when Jackson squeezed through the door in front of you and blocked the sink.

“Stop. Please. Let’s talk about this.”

“What’s there to talk about? I don’t want to know his name.”

The obvious thought was, maybe it wasn’t true. That Meyerist guy would have said anything just to make Jackson look bad. But if that were the case, Jackson would have told you so right away. He didn’t, and he wasn’t even trying to sell you an alternate fiction to exonerate himself. For a cheater, he was honest. Jackson never lied to you, so you used to think. That was why this… this was so unexpected. You never saw it coming.

You tried to get around him, but he kept getting in the way of your toothbrush until you looked at him. “She wasn’t a student. She was participating in one of my classes as a guest speaker. She’s not even enrolled at the university. He made it sound as if—”

“DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT’S THE PART I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH?!” you screamed.

Your anger had been so seething, quiet, you didn’t even realize you were angry until you finally opened your mouth and fury poured out like dragon’s fire. It caught you both by surprise. You shoved past him to grab your toothbrush and marched back out into the master bedroom without another word.

Tears pricked the back of your eyelids. You didn’t like yourself when you lost control like that, especially knowing how his ex had been. How much he flinched at raised voices. Part of you wanted to turn around and hold him, comfort him, apologize. Then you felt sick that that was your first impulse after what he did.

Maybe the bastard deserved it.

“I… just wanted you to know I’m not some kind of… of predator.” He sounded like a child, his voice high and thin.

You turned.

He looked so pathetic standing there in the bathroom with his rumpled shirt hanging off fallen shoulders, his eyes shining wet and desperate.

“Why?” you asked. It was the only question you could ask. The only one that mattered—if it even mattered. You heard your voice breaking as if it were in another room.

“It was just supposed to be research. I chatted her up to learn about the Meyerist Movement… It wasn’t cheating, at first. I never meant to let things go that far. But she was so smart, but vulnerable… I thought I could help her get out. I thought she was ready to leave religion behind, like I did. She was so much like I used to be. Before I knew it, I was falling in love with her. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

Tears escaped your eyes, but you didn’t want them to. You didn’t want him to see you cry over him. “So you love her?”

“No! I love you—I chose you,” he croaked. “It’s been over for a long time. She was only using me to help her research the history of Meyerism. When I realized that...” He took a few steps toward you, but you took one back to stay out of reach.

You let out a bark of cynical laughter. “So I was your fallback? The one who actually cared about you? Supported you? It was too hard having this woman lean on you for help, so you just used me the same way?”

“That… that isn’t—”

“You don’t love me. I’m just a soft place for you to land. If she patiently waited at home for you, you would have left me, wouldn’t you?”

“It was a mistake. The worst mistake of my life. Please...”

“The worst part is, I thought you were better than this. I believed in you. You were always so cuddly and domestic, the kind of guy you settle down with—I thought I finally found a man I could trust.”

“You can. It will never happen again. I’ll spend my whole life making up for it if I have to.”

Unlike the tightly clenched tear ducts on your face, regularly scrubbed dry with the back of your sleeve, Jackson’s tears were freely flowing down his cheeks. He tried to hold you, but you shoved his cold touch away.

It was too late for that. His arms were not comfort anymore.

All you could see was him wrapping those arms around her. All while you were cooking him dinner, being so understanding of his late nights, waiting for him to come home. Never knowing. Never thinking he would betray you.

He must have washed her scent off him. Did he scrub his cock with soap twice just to make sure you wouldn’t taste her on him when you knelt between his knees? Did he think about her hair when he was pulling yours? Imagine her lips wrapped around him?

Was she better than you? Was that why he did it?

Did he finger her the same way, slow and gentle, before fucking her? You wondered if he murmured the same praises, told her she was taking him so well, if he gave that same breathy, “fuck,” just before he came inside her.

Weren’t you enough? What did you do so wrong that he needed to cheat?

Finally, you began to sob. Your whole body rocking, shoulders heaving in big gasping breaths. He took advantage of the moment and hugged you tight, whispering shallow promises meant to be comforting, and you could tell his heart was breaking at the sight of you in pain.

You let him hold you, just for a moment, because it still felt so good—he still felt like home.

But you were sobbing for broken plans. For the apartment lease you would have to renew when you had been looking forward to moving in. For the dog you and Jackson wanted to adopt from the shelter. For the Airbnb you booked in Vermont for leaf-peeping season that would have to be canceled.

His cheating hands felt cold on your back, but you let him hold you a little bit longer, because despite everything, your heart was breaking for him, too.

Because this would be the last time he ever held you.

• ● • ━━━━━─ ••●•• ─━━━━━ • ● • @beccabarba​ / @itsjustmyfantasyroom​ / @thatesqcrush​ / @dianilaws​ / @permanentlydizzy​ / @mrsrafaelbarba​ / @madamsnape921​ / @astrangegirlsmind​ / @neely1177​ / @onerestein​ / @dreamlover31​ / @isvvc-pvscvl​​  / @shroomiehomie / @storiesofsvu​ / @welcometothemxdhouse​​ / @feedthemadness-sweetie​ / @law-nerd105​ / @amelia-song-pond​ / @michael-rooker​ / @xecq / @madpanda75​ / @alwaysachorusgirl​ / @bananas-pajamas​ / @leanor-min​ / @mad-girl-without-a-box​ / @katierpblogg​ / @worldofvixen​ / @sassyada​ / @detectivebarba​

[princessphilly]

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Word Count: 5118

CW: angst, smut but not super filthy smut (medium filth?), bad language

Dress and shoes that Nina wore in this chapter

Join the tag list here!

Only three more chapters and an epilogue left

Nina fidgeted as dug into her pocketbook for her keys to her parents’ house. It was time for Sunday dinner, the one meal a week that she wasn’t responsible for cooking and therefore, Nina never missed it. Cooking was not her forte and Nina had no problems with that. However, this Sunday dinner, she needed to talk to her family about their lives changing.

The smell of roast chicken filled the house and Nina took a deep sniff as she opened and closed the door. Aryanna and Dad were watching the late game aka hate-watching the Ravens vs Saints. The Steelers were playing on Monday night this week. 

“Heey sweettart,” Vernon said, getting up to give his oldest daughter a hug. 

Nina hugged her father back, holding him close for a second. “Hi Dad.”

“Oh no!”

Nina ended the hug, turning with her father towards the tv. Lamar Jackson had just run for a 20-yard touchdown. They all groaned; the Steelers needed the Ravens to lose as both teams were running neck to neck for the AFC North crown. As Nina got absorbed into the game, the situation with Sidney was still in the back of her mind. 

Nina had talked to her mom earlier in the day, explaining everything to her mother, well everything but the sex. Tracey had listened with an open ear before telling her daughter not to make a decision over her potential happiness just because of how it could affect her family. Tracey had reminded Nina that Jason, while he was at UNC now, had been a 5-star tight end prospect and they dealt with the media when it was time for him to sign with a college. 

After talking to her mom, Nina had taken a nap before coming to sunday dinner. As she watched the game, waiting to eat, Nina hoped for courage. However, she kept it to herself when it was time to eat, instead listening to Aryanna talk about school, her dad talk about his new position at work which meant that he wasn’t going to be going out on the road as much anymore. Nina shared some stories about her clients while Tracey talked about the switch to travel nursing over working in the hospital. But when it was over, Nina gulped and summoned her courage.

“So, I got news,” Nina started once dinner was over and dessert was served. She looked down at her glass of water. Before she could continue, Aryanna piped up. “Let me guess, you’re breaking up with Sidney Crosby because you’re a punk.”

“Aryanna!” 

Nina glared at her little sister while Tracey reprimanded, “That was rude, little girl.”

“Sorry,” Aryanna muttered.

“Anyway, before I was rudely interrupted,” Nina said, “I have news. After thinking about it, talking to Sidney, and going over the pros and cons, I’ve decided to give him another chance.”

Tracey smiled as Aryanna shouted yes. Vernon looked at his daughter and carefully said, “Are you ready for it?”

Nina grimaced. “As ready as I can possibly. Are y’all?”

“We only want you to be happy, sweetie,” Tracey consoled. “Plus, I saw those pics of you two. He’s smitten.”

Nina groaned while Aryanna laughed. Vernon added, “We were already planning to move soon anyway. We’ve been looking at homes in South HIlls and we just closed on a house in Mt. Lebanon.”

“Oh wow. When was I going to find out,” Nina said with a smirk. She knew her parents had been thinking of moving for a while but the market had been super hot for a long time. Before she had moved into her current apartment, Nina had heard of the different arguments her parents had about moving to different areas. But before they could find somewhere, someone else would snap it up.

Tracey grinned. “We weren’t going to say anything until we closed because of how long it took to find somewhere. It’s taken almost two years and we even saved enough to offer forty percent as a down payment. It’s a fixer-upper though but it has a bigger backyard for my garden and the schools are better.”

“What are you going to do with this house,” Nina asked before taking a bite of her sweet potato pie. Fuck, she wished she could bake and cook just so she could make herself sweet potato pie all of the time. 

Vernon replied, “Probably sell. There are people looking to buy even though this area isn’t that great. ”

“I guess it’s settled. This is exciting though.”

Tracey snickered before looking at her husband. “I hope you are still excited when we need you to help pack, Ni-ni.”

Nina looked to her right before taking out her phone and sending a quick message. Free monday? 12pm?

She received a quick response. Yup, just tell me where to meet

Vernon casually commented, “I’m also looking at it this way; this is a practice for when Jason is in the NFL and becomes famous.”

“Good point,” Tracey said. “I can start practicing telling people no even more now.”

Nina laughed. “Looks like I have nothing to worry about then.”

The conversation switched to the Steelers game tomorrow night as they finished dessert.

**

Honestly, Sidney was a bit surprised to get a message from Nina so quickly. He had fully expected her to wait until Wednesday and he had been preparing himself for the worst possible outcome. As a competitor, prepping for each game meant learning his opponents’ strengths and weaknesses. Nina wasn’t his opponent but Sidney was now very aware of the power she had over him with just one look, let alone her touch or words. 

Nina had asked to meet somewhere that wasn’t at their homes. Sidney suggested lunch but after looking at his schedule, he asked if Nina could maybe meet him at the Pens offices and then get lunch after. Fidgeting in the smaller conference room, Sidney began to worry that Nina wouldn’t show up when the clock showed that it was already five minutes past the time they agreed to. But then, Nina wasn’t the most on time person either so Sidney rationalized to himself, he should worry if it was fifteen minutes passed and she still wasn’t here. 

Then outside the door, Sidney saw Nina talking with Evelyn, one of their PR mavens. They were having an animated discussion and Sidney smiled softly. Nina opened the door and grinned at him. “Hi Sid, sorry for being late.”

Evelyn waved at Sidney and he waved back. After Nina walked in, Evelyn peeped in and said, “I was just catching up with Nina since it’s been a while since she’s been here.”

Sidney nodded as Nina replied, “thank you so much for the advice, Evelyn, I will definitely use it!”

Evelyn waved goodbye before closing the door firmly. Nina chose a chair directly across from Sidney and sat down. There was a brief pause before Nina giggled. “Oh my God, you looked like you were about to die before I showed up.”

“Well, I had to remind myself that you’d show up but part of me still was worried because of everything in our last conversations,” Sidney replied. 

The aura in the room turned serious as Nina bit her lip and folded her hands together. “Yeah, those conversations,” Nina started. “I like you a lot, Sidney Crosby, but… I hate this circus that surrounds you. I know that it’s something you can’t control but I hate it. But I realized, especially after talking to my mom, there’s nothing I can do about it now. My life’s forever changed.”

Sidney cleared his throat but Nina stopped him. “Let me finish, Sid because I can already tell you’re ready to make promises you can’t keep. So let me save both of us the headache.”

Sitting back, Sidney leaned in his chair. “What are your plans, pretty girl?”

“You have to get over being super private and claim me publicly. You want me to be yours, Mr. Crosby? Then you have to let the world know we are together. No are they or aren’t they bullshit.”

Nina glared at Sidney when she was done. Sidney flushed; part of him hated the idea of letting the world know more than they really needed to know about his personal life. At the same time, he already knew he was going to do whatever Nina asked him to, in his own way. “You know I don’t use social media,” Sidney began before trailing off. Then he smirked. 

Nina casually said, “you’ll find a way.”

“I already figured it out,” Sidney drawled. “What else do you want, pretty girl?”

“No more surprise meet ups with people from the team, let me know ahead of time. Just like I’ll let you know ahead of time whenever I decide you should meet my fam.”

Sidney actually blushed while Nina arched an eyebrow. “I know I’m amazing but that was a bit uncomfortable when I think back. At least you didn’t abandon me to talk to your teammates and let me fend for myself.”

“I’m sorry, Nina,” Sidney apologized. He felt really bad now: he had been so excited that he really didn’t think about how Nina would have felt. Nina shrugged; it wasn’t that bad to be honest because Sidney stayed at her side, introduced her to everyone, and made sure she was included. But that didn’t mean she wanted him to continue doing that. 

Nina smiled at Sidney and asked, “what do you think, Sid?”

Sidney scratched his jaw as he thought of his reply. It was relatively simple but it would also be life-changing for him. He finally said, “Yes, it all sounds good. But I have one thing?”

“What’s that?”

Sidney smirked as he looked Nina up and down. Nina rolled her eyes as she smiled. She could guess where his mind was, right in the gutter. But Sidney surprised her when he said, “Then let me spoil you.  I have no problem claiming you publicly, but I want you to let me treat you like I’ve been wanting to treat you.”

Nina gave Sidney a bashful smile before looking to the side. “I’ll never say no to purses and shoes but I don’t want you to buy out the store-“

“I already know that, sweetheart,” Sidney firmly said, “but let me treat you like you deserve.”

“Okay, okay,” Nina conceded.

Sidney pushed his chair back, making space. Then he patted his lap. “Come ‘ere.”

Nina got out of her chair and sat on Sidney’s lap. “You know where we are,” she hissed even though she had obeyed him. 

Wrapping an arm around her waist, Sidney smiled. Smelling her coconut-vanilla scent, he realized how much he had missed her. “I know, I’m not going to do anything inappropriate, pretty girl. Just missed having you close to me.”

Sidney kissed the back of Nina’s neck, causing her to shiver. “Watch the postgame of our next game, Nina. Now, what do you want for lunch?”

“Um, honestly, I want Chipotle. I have to get back to work in about an hour so nothing fancy,” Nina replied. 

Turning so that she was facing Sidney, she placed her index finger over his lips when he opened his mouth. “I forgot to add this earlier but I’m also going to say this now. I’m not quitting my job anytime soon. I’m going to finish my Ph.D. and if I decide to stop working, it’s because I plan to teach full-time. So, if you expect I’ll be waiting at home and living for you, now you know that’s not going to happen,” Nina stated. 

Sidney opened his mouth to reply but the door opened. “Hey, I’ve been looking for you, Sidney!”

Nina squeaked in surprise and Sidney sighed. It was Brian Burke and Sidney was sure that it was probably something important but this wasn’t quite the moment where he wanted to see him. 

Brian smiled. “It looks like you two have made up.”

Nina weakly waved. At first, she was going to move off of Sidney’s lap but his hand around her waist made that impossible. “I’d introduce myself but I figure I interrupted,” Brian continued. 

“It’s okay, I was on my way to get lunch,” Nina replied. 

Sidney added, “With me.”

“Don’t forget, you said you wanted to help with more planning for our pride game this season,” Brian reminded Sidney.

“Ohh, the pride game! You’re getting more involved in it? That’s awesome,” Nina exclaimed. 

Sidney blushed as he smiled under Nina’s praise. 

“Would you be interested in being involved, Nina,” Brian asked.

Nina paused for a second, her eyes wide. “Um, sure.”

“I can get your contact information from Sidney,” Brian asked.

Nina nodded as Sidney rubbed his hand up and down her back. Sidney said, “I’ll let you know,” as Brian closed the door. 

Placing a hand over her face, Nina sighed. “Wow.”

“It’s fine. Look, your first volunteer project,” Sidney kidded. 

“I need to eat.”

**

The game against the Isles had gone well. Sidney had tallied two assists and a goal in a 4-2 win after having a four game slump. Normally post-game interviews were a necessary evil but he was a bit nervous this time. Not because he knew they were going to ask about getting out of his slump, but because of what he was going to say. 

The first couple of questions were easy softballs. Then Sidney was hit with the question that opened the door. 

“Sidney, great breaking your slump. There were rumors that your personal life was affecting your game on the ice. What do you think about that?”

Sidney looked at the reporters, all ready for him to give a cliche. Instead, Sidney admitted the truth. “My personal life was affecting my game on the ice. But we’ve fixed our issues and I’m glad.”

There was a pause, as if the reporters didn’t know where to start. Sidney looked at one of the PR interns to the side. The intern gave him a slight smile and a quick thumbs up. Sidney decided to continue, “We prefer to keep our relationship private for now but she means a lot to me and is very important to my life. I will not be answering any more questions about my relationship at this moment.”

Luckily, the rest of the questions were about hockey but Sidney knew that his statement was going to be a big part of what everyone was going to talk about. Once back in the locker room, Geno gave Sidney a big grin. Tanger said, “You did it?”

“Yeah but I’m serious, I’m not going to answer a bunch of questions about my personal life,” Sidney replied. “Now though, every time we struggle, the dumbasses will start talking about it.”

Tanger grimaced as Geno said, “Fuck them.”

Guentzy laughed as he stated, “I agree with Geno. Fuck them.”

Sidney laughed as he pulled his shirt off before pulling off his pads. Sitting in his crocs, hockey pants and pads, Sidney pulled out his phone. There was just one message from the only person who’s opinion mattered to him, wow😍 .

Sidney replied back, made it official for u but in the way u wanted 😁😏

😘🥰 part of me can’t believe it but i’m happy u listened to me, was Nina’s reply. 

Sidney texted, only 4 u, before finishing getting undressed so he could take a shower.

**

To be totally honest, Nina thought her life would have exploded the minute that Sidney admitted that he was seeing someone in the post-game conference after the Isles game. It wouldn’t take much to put 2 and 2 together, especially when she went out with Sidney and the Malkins to a popular Shadyside restaurant the day after. But things were relatively calmer. 

There were still the nasty looks from other people, especially women when Nina was out by herself, running her everyday errands. But there were also people who seemed to defer to her and it felt so fucking weird. Like, if she wanted to, Nina felt like people were ready to let her do whatever she wanted because she was now Sidney Crosby’s girlfriend. 

Nina bit her lip as she waited in line to pay for her groceries. Then someone bumped into her and it was Ron. “Hey Nina, long time no see.”

“Hi Ron,” Nina replied with a strained smile. 

“Not everyday one sees their ex. Look at you, shopping like the rest of us. Your man ain’t ordering groceries for you.”

Nina resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She could feel the eyes of other people at Weis and she knew there were people looking for something to gossip about. Nina definitely didn’t want to give Ron the satisfaction of a reaction. She merely replied, “I have my own life I have to take care of on my own.”

“Oh wow, because I remember the way you two were looking at each other that time we went out on a date. Makes me think you were cheating on me with him,” Ron goaded. 

Nina gave him a blank look. “We were long over, for almost three years, before I went out with Sidney. But you had two other women when we were a couple,” Nina stated with a shrug. “Anyway, it’s my turn to check out. Bye.”

Nina tuned Ron out as she checked out. The cashier commented, “That guy seems like a dick.”

“You live and you learn,” Nina replied with a smile as she paid, unaware that someone had uploaded video of that encounter to the internet.

**

Sidney gulped down his protein shake, home after practice. The season was starting well but he felt like the team could be better. Sidney wanted another cup, one more cup and he felt like this was the year. Then his phone buzzed and he saw it was his mom.

“Hi Mom,” Sidney said, sitting on his sofa. He had some time before he needed to get ready for tonight and it was always good to talk to his mother.

Trina chirped, “Hi Sidney, how are you?”

“I’m doing good, short practice today before our game against New Jersey tomorrow,” Sidney idly replied as he turned his tv on. Flipping through Netflix, he chose an episode of How I Met Your Mother. 

He could hear his mother’s smile through the phone when she teased, “Your father told me you told the press that you are seeing someone last week. Is it that girl you kept talking about over the years?”

Sidney giggle-honked before admitting, “Yes, it is. I’m finally dating Nina.”

“Are you sure it’s a good idea? This is something totally different for you,” Trina asked, concerned. Her son had a relationship with Kathy but this situation with this new girl was something totally different. Part of her was worried that since Sidney had wanted this girl for so long, that he was diving into this without really thinking about it.

Sidney replied, “You sound like Nina.”

“Hmm, I do?”

“Yep, Mom, you did,” Sidney said, “Nina wasn’t sure if it was a good idea for a long time but I managed to convince her it was.”

Trina was still feeling skeptical. From what she knew, this girl was from the area, a fan of the team, a different race, and had worked for the team for a period of time. It was possible she could be playing the long game. “Is she there with you now?”

Knowing her son, Trina was convinced that Nina was already living with her son. Her son, when he decided he wanted something, went all out to get it. She was surprised when Sidney said, “No, she’s at work, then she has class.”

“Class,” Trina asked, her tone perking up. This sounded interesting. 

Sidney informed his mother, “Nina decided to get a PhD in rehabilitation science this year. She works as a physical therapist.”

“That sounds interesting, isn’t that how you met her,” Trina idly said. The door opened and Troy stepped in. Trina put her finger to her mouth to shush her husband. 

Sidney scratched his head, wondering where his mother was going with these questions. “Yes. Nina works somewhere else totally different now. But she’s looking into becoming a professor after guest lecturing at, I think, Pitt.”

Trina raised her eyebrows. That was interesting information. Switching the conversation to more mundane subjects, Trina filed that information in the back of her head. It sounded like this Nina was a bit more well-rounded than she thought. 

Sidney sighed when he hung up on his mother. That conversation felt like one thing but he could sense there was another undercurrent. Then he received a picture message from Nina and his mind went straight to the gutter. Sidney sighed; it was going to be a long night.

**

“You look very nice.”

Nina smiled as she replied, “Thank you,” to the guest. 

It was kind of last minute, this dinner that Nina found herself invited to. It was thrown by Nathalie and most of the top brass of the Penguins were here as well as Sidney, the Letangs, and the Malkins. Because Sidney had gone public with their relationship, Nina had found herself suddenly invited. Luckily for her, Nina already had an appropriate cocktail dress for the occasion. 

Her dress was black with an asymmetrical one shoulder with a bow but it came to just above knee level. Nina’s heels were gold, an impulse purchase several months ago that she was happy to have. The outfit was classy, understated, and definitely Penguins colors. 

Sidney seemed to like it as well from the way his arm stayed possessively around Nina’s waist whenever possible. At least it wasn’t a public event; the possessiveness would have looked bad. But because it was informal and in a private room at PPG arena, Sidney was able to get away with it. 

The length was a blessing and a curse. A blessing that it meant that Sidney couldn’t try to do any funny business during dinner but a curse in that the more he touched her, the more Nina wanted him. By the end of the night, it was obvious that Sidney was getting close to losing his cool and Nina was loving it. 

As soon as they got into the car at the end of the night, Sidney pounced. His lips touched hers, demanding and devouring as he kissed her. Then abruptly, Sidney let go. “You'd been torturing me all night in that little black dress. So sexy, the way it showed off my pretty girl’s body.”

Sidney already knew that Nina was perfect in every way anyway. However, as soon as he saw her step in with that black dress and gold heels, it took every ounce of media training and self-control for Sidney not to strip it off of her and fuck her right there. Right now, he was glad that he hired a car after this event. 

Sidney didn’t even do anything in the car other than keep his hand on Nina’s thigh. The difference was that he told Nina every filthy thing he planned to do to her once he got her home. Nina wiggled on the seat, her legs shifting as Sidney whispered what he planned to do to her. It was insane, what he could do to her with his words. 

Nina had expected Sidney to push her against the wall when they got back to his place but instead, he just guided Nina to the kitchen before taking out two glasses. Picking out a wine, Sidney poured two glasses. 

“I’ve missed you in my bed but I’m patient,” Sidney stated, his hands palming Nina’s ass before giving both cheeks a smack. Then Sidney picked up the glasses of wine and passed one to Nina.

Nina smirked. “I’m not,” she said as she took a sip. 

“Can’t be patient for me, pretty girl?”

Nina shrugged as she took another sip. Then she delicately licked a drop that was on her lower lip, causing Sidney to visibly grunt and shudder. “Maybe,” Nina finally replied. 

“Good.”

Sidney sat down in a chair and patted his lap. Nina sat on his lap, the hem of her dress riding up. “Did you have a good time?”

“I actually did for something that was pretty last minute. Don’t ask me if I remember everyone’s name yet.”

“That’s okay,” Sidney reassured Nina. “No one expects you to remember everyone, yet.”

Nina snorted before taking another sip of her wine. Idly, Sidney added, “Fuck, I love this dress.”

“Maybe if you move your hands higher underneath it, you’ll get a surprise,” Nina taunted. Licking her lips, she winked.

Unable to resist a challenge, Sidney moved his hand higher and higher. Then he whistled when he realized Nina’s surprise. “You went commando all night and didn’t tell me?”

“I’m lucky this dress was lined so well that no one could tell,” Nina admitted. “But it was worth it.”

“How,” Sidney asked as his hand touched Nina’s pussy. She was already wet.

Nina smirked. “Because I knew if you found out tonight, the look on your face would have been priceless.”

Sidney ignored that statement as he stroked Nina’s core with his fingers. Rolling her clit with his fingers, Sidney hissed at the idea that Nina was here, with him tonight. His pretty girl, perfect in his lap. "I love how wet you get for me, pretty girl."

"Only for you, daddy," Nina moaned as she clutched his shoulders. Sidney growled at her words, her pussy clenching harder on his fingers. 

Suddenly, Sidney picked Nina up and placed her on the table. Nina smiled as she hiked up her dress and spread her legs. Sidney licked his lips. “We’re gonna see how many times you cum for me tonight, pretty girl.”

“Fuck, I can’t wait,” Nina moaned as his mouth met her core.

**

Sidney woke, at first disoriented because someone else was in his bed and curled up on top of him. Then he realized it was Nina and he relaxed. Her head was on top of his chest, one arm on him as she slept on her side. Carefully extracting himself, Sidney went to the bathroom. After relieving himself, he watched Nina continue to sleep, now curled into herself. Sidney took a quick picture, it was so cute. However, after taking the picture, he checked his messages. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chanted.

Nina opened her eyes slowly, her body deliciously sore after last night. Stretching out her arms, she sleepily asked, “What’s wrong, Sid?”

“Seems like someone has something against you, pretty girl,” Sidney said, suppressing his fury. 

Nina’s eyes snapped open, sleep now forgotten. Sitting up, she queried, “What happened?”

“There's a video of you with some guy at a market.”

Grimacing, Nina sighed. “I ran into Ron while getting groceries. He was being a jagoff asshole.”

“You don’t look bad at all, PR thinks you handled it perfectly.”

Nina got off the bed and walked over to Sidney. Wrapping her arms around him, she pleaded, “Fuck him and fuck whoever took video.”

Snuggling into Sidney’s chest, Nina nipped one of his nipples. “Plot your revenge later, Sid. It’s eight am and I know you have a maintenance day today. Come back to bed.”

“‘Come back to bed?’ You know this is my bed,” Sidney joked. His anger was going away each second that Nina was pressed against him, her lips giving him little kisses and bites on his upper body. 

Nina looked up at Sidney, giving him soulful eyes. “Please, daddy?”

Trailing her hands around his neck, Nina murmured, “I’ve been so good. Please?”

“Fuck, how can I say no,” Sidney groaned as Nina giggled. Picking her up, he tossed her on the bed. 

Scooting back, Nina spread her legs as Sidney settled in the middle of them. “I love the way you fuck me, Sidney.”

Sidney smirked, his brown eyes smoldering as he crouched over Nina. “Oh do you?”

“Yes, I do,” Nina hummed, her fingers tugging on his chain. “You should do it again.”

Sidney settled between Nina’s thighs, pulling her legs around his waist. His lips lowered to hers in a gentle kiss. Slow and drugging, enough to make both of them red hot for each other, full of promise. Pulling away, Sidney nipped Nina’s lower lip. Nina sucked her lip into her mouth, her brown eyes meeting Sidney’s. Cupping Nina’s chin, Sidney reminded her, “How do you ask, pretty girl?”

“Please fuck me, daddy,” Nina asked, her body arching towards his. “Make me yours.”

“Good girl.”

**

Nina tried hard not to feel self-conscious as she made her way to the ice-level with Aryanna, Catherine and her children, and Anna with Nikita. It had been a week since that awful article with video from her interaction with Ron. It had been set up to make Nina look like a gold digging whore and it hurt to have guys, guys she had only gone out with once or twice, say things that made her seem horrible. Nina hadn’t admitted that part to Sid when he was in a fury about it. Lauren had reminded Nina that men tend to be assholes about women that they couldn’t have and that Nina was way beyond their level even before her current relationship. 

Even though Nina had distracted Sidney that morning, by the afternoon, that article was off the internet. A radio host had mentioned it and then within an hour, issued an apology for talking about it. However, it was forgotten pretty quickly as more people cared about the Steelers potentially staying undefeated with a game coming up against the Browns.

Nina smiled as they reached the ice. The team was doing warm-ups and Sidney was in the midst of his pregame rituals. She actually had more enjoyment from watching Aryanna react to watching the guys on the ice. Tanev gave the glass near them an ice shower while Geno and Kris had greeted Nina and Aryanna while saying hi to their families. Then, very unexpectedly, Sidney broke one of his traditions and came over. Giving the glass a small shower, Sidney waved at Aryanna before smirking at Nina. Nina smirked back before giving Sid a little wave. 

As people took pictures of Sid waving to her, Nina smiled. She could live with this, maybe. ‘No, that was a lie’, Nina thought as they made their way to the family box. She was going to have to live with this now, it was too far gone to go back. And she didn’t want to.