#I think Vigilante 2005 just Stopped

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

I say that the vigilantes are always dying but tragically only 3 of them actually died were kind of light on actual horrible vigilante deaths. Dorian did also get a horrible vigilante fate in the form of being arrested. Have not read all of Pat yet Ill let everyone know if she gets a horrible vigilante fate.

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

Jason with his time in the league of assassins

Talia walks into the small modest room where Jason is livening in while he gets back on his feet, having a bunch of brain functions recovered takes a while to get used to. he's been doing physical therapy and occupational therapy for the last couple months, his dexterity isn't exactly back yet.

Talia: Jason? what are you doing?

Jason: well there's this thing I always wanted to try called stop motion animation, and well you got some lego's for Dami but he's a bit too small for them so.. I took them and have been animating. I was bored in-between everything, you don't have any good books I haven't already read.

Talia: well that is an acceptable pass time, what are you making?

Jason: oh it's a weird comedy spoof for kids about batman and the joker being nemesis's, I wanted to make it for Dami since well he doesn't know much about him or the other ones and he's only 3 and well it doesn't seem like much but the time I'm done he'll be 5 and be able to enjoy it. i don't know talia I'm bored and want to make something for him.

Talia: very well, if you so wish. I can get some people in to help you make it if you wish.

Jason: really?

Talia: yes, I can. it does sound like a nice gift.

Jason: oh thank you!

Many months of therapy complete, he starts to retrain and regain all the fighting skills he lost and learn some new ones. in the meanwhile, Jason and 3 other people have been making a complete feature film for Damian who's just turned 4, they were about halfway done and it was looking good.

Talia: so how's it coming along?

Jason: it's been hard and hurts like a bitch, but I'm getting better at flips!

Talia: no. not that, I mean the movie?

Jason: oh it's halfway done! me and the one man and 2 women are doing great we reshot the opening, and we are more than 68% done! so it will be ready by Dami's birthday.

Talia: he will enjoy it I believe.

Jason: of course he would, it's his first ever kids movie!

Talia: why yes it is!

many many many more months pass and it becomes Dami's 5th birthday and Jason and his crew had wrapped up, the voice acting was done mostly by himself, and the crew but he asked some of the league for other voices. eventually after scoring and mixing they met the deadline. they set up the league theatre and put the movie on.

lego batman: [voice over] Black. All important movies start with a black screen... And music... Edgy, scary music that would make a parent or studio executive nervous... And logos... Really long and dramatic logos... Warner Bros. Why not "Warner Brothers"? I don't know... Hmm... Not sure what LOA does, but that logo is macho. I dig it... Okay. Get yourself ready for some... reading. "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change. Hooo." No. I said that. Batman is very wise. I also have huge pecs and a nine-pack. Yeah, I've got an extra ab. Now, let's start the movie.

Dami: momma? what's the movie about?

talia: your father

lego Alfred Pennyworth: Were you looking at the old family pictures again?

lego Batman: At the what? The old family... Oh, yes! I see what you mean. Look at that! The old gang. Yeah. No, I wasn't.

lego Alfred Pennyworth: I see. Sir, if you don't mind my saying, I'm a little concerned. I've seen you go through similar phases in 2001 and 2006 and 2008 and 2005 and 1997 and 1995 and 1992 and 1989 and that weird one in 1999. Do you want to talk about how you're feeling right now?

lego Batman: I don't talks about feelings, Alfred. I don't have any, I've never seen one. I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante, and a heavy metal rapping machine. I don't feel anything emotionally, except for rage. 24/7, 365, at a million percent. And if you think that there's something behind that, then you're crazy. Good night, Alfred.

lego Alfred Pennyworth: Sir, it's morning..

Talia: *laughs*

Dami: *chuckles*

Jason: *smiles with accomplishment*

lego Batman: [Batman's song] Who never skips leg day?

Chorus: Batman!

lego Batman: Who always pays their taxes?

lego Batman, Chorus: Not Batman!

Talia: *wails with laughter*

Dami: what are taxes?

Jason: you'll know when you get older don't worry about it

The lego Joker: Are you seriously saying there is nothing, nothing special about our relationship?

lego Batman: Whoa. Let me tell you something, J-bird. Batman doesn't do 'ships.

The lego Joker: [Confused] What?

lego Batman: As in "relationships." There is no "us." Batman and Joker are not a thing. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. You mean nothing to me. No one does.

Talia: that is your father's arch-nemesis the joker

Dami: oh okay

Jason: please kill him for me

dami: okay Jason, i will avagange, e-venge, avenge your honour!

Jason: you have no idea what that means to me buddy *wipes away a tear*

Lego Robin: My name's Richard Grayson, but all the kids at the orphanage call me Dick.

Lego Batman: Well, children can be cruel.

Jason: when I first heard dick's name I unironically thought everyone was just calling him a dickhead so much that the name dick stuck, but nope turns out it's short for Richard. he even changed his name to dick, I personally would never. but he pulls it off flawlessly. *chuckles*

talia: I did not know mr Grayson preferred to be called Dick.

Dami: who's dick then?

Jason: oh he's your older brother.

Lego Robin: What? [Sees Batcave]

Lego Robin: It's the Batcave! Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygooo-! [Bumps into Batman]

Lego Robin: Batman, woah!

Lego Batman: You're darn right, woah!

Lego Robin: Wait, does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement?

Lego Batman: No, Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic.

Talia: *DIES OF LAUGHTER* oh Jason this is amazing.

Jason: I wish to impress!

Lego Robin: Hey, I was thinking. If I'm gonna be a superhero, and go on awesome superhero missions like this one, can we use code names? Mine can be Robin.

Lego Batman: I'm sorry, say that again?

Lego Robin: Robin.

Lego Batman: As in the small, Midwestern frail bird?

Lego Robin: Yeah, and I already have a catch phrase. Tweet, tweet, on the street.

Lego Batman: Hard pass.

Lego Robin: And a song. [singing]

Lego Robin: Fly, Robin, fly.

Lego Batman: Harder pass.

dami: *laughs so hard he coughs*

talia: habbibi careful, don't laugh so hard you will hurt yourself

Jason: honestly yeah you can hurt yourself badly.

LegoRobin: Wow! Look, it's the Bat-Sub!

Lego Batman: Wait, don't touch that!

Lego Robin: Over there! It's the Bat-Space Shuttle!

Lego Batman: Please keep your hands off that.

Lego Robin: Look, it's the Bat-Zeppelin!

Lego Batman: Don't touch that, either!

Lego Robin: It's the Bat-Train!

Lego Batman: No!

Lego Robin: It's the Bat-Kayak!

Lego Batman: No!

Lego Robin: It's the Bat-Dune Buggy!

Lego Batman: No!

Lego Robin: It's the Bat... Shark Repellent?

Lego Batman: [pause] Uh, actually, you can touch that. It's completely useless.

Talia: shark repelent is actually a quite useful invention why is bruce beloved not recognising it's full potential?

Jason: keep watching

Dami: does father have all those things?

Jason: sure does!

Lego Batman: We are gonna steal the Phantom Zone projector from Superman.

Lego Robin: [frowns] Steal?

Lego Batman: Yeah. We have to right a wrong. And sometimes, in order to right a wrong, you have to do a wrong-right. Gandhi said that.

Lego Robin: Are we sure Gandhi said that?

Lego Batman: I'm paraphrasing.

Talia: *laughs*

Dami: *laughs so hard he starts coughing AGAIN*

Jason: ghandi so said that btw.

lego Jim Gordon: [sees Robin for the first time] Who is that?

lego Robin: Hi, police man!

lego Jim Gordon: Is that your son?

Lego Robin: Yes, I am!

Lego Batman: [laughs nervously] Is that my son? No, that's just weird.

Lego Jim Gordon: It's weirder if it's not your son.

Jason: this interaction is based off an actual interaction between jimmy and Dick.

[batman and robin arrive at the fortress of solitude]

lego Batman: Hey, kid!

lego Robin: Yes, sir?

lego Batman: You're super nimble, right?

lego Robin: I sure am!

lego Batman: And small?

lego Robin: Very.

lego Batman: And quiet?

lego Robin: [whispering] When I desire to be.

lego Batman: And 110% expendable?

lego Robin: I don't know what that means, but okay!

Jason: bruce really did not know how to deal with a 11 year old child hellbent on murdering a mob boss, so he kept bringing him along on incredibly dangerous missions, it was always fine in the end but this sort of situation happened once.

Talia: really?

Jason: the expendable part was from a wayne tech family event, and they crushed it. but dick had to sacrifice himself to help bruce win, it was so funny. I was there.

Lego Batman: White. All important movies end with a white screen.

Talia, jason, the other 70 league of assassin members and Damien break out into applause for the movie.

Jason: THANK YOU ALL, but special thanks to Gerald, and lily and Rin!!!! I WOULD HAVE NEVNER FINISHED IT WITHOUT YOU THANK YOUUUUUUU

the audience bursts into a large uproar of applause.

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[zahri-melitor]

Gail Simone for the comic writer thing?

Gail! As you probably noticed I disappeared back into brainrot here but let's rate all of these:-

7. Secret Six 2006: I simply think this is the most uneven of the three preboot Secret Six runs. I still enjoy it, but it doesn't make my brain itch quite like the others do.

6. Batgirl 2011 #1-34: While I have full respect for Simone taking on this project, and there are definitely aspects of this run I like, it's unfortunately also Babsgirl post-Oracle. One of the things that I go back and forth about in this run is that Simone, quite realistically, makes Barbara have some difficulties with skills and approach due to being back in the field, given she's been behind the computer for years and while I love the concept, it unfortunately also makes Barbara a more incompetent vigilante when set beside any of the boys. Down to Damian. And that irritates me in terms of messaging and what it allows people to say about Batgirl as a character.

5. Birds of Prey 2010 #1-13: There are aspects of this run I really enjoy and the Shiva v Dinah fight that was prevented by HELENA stepping in to challenge Shiva so that Shiva didn't need to fight Dinah yet, and Shiva stopping the fight midway through to put it on 'hold' for later gives me incredible levels of brain rot. However. There are runs I love even more!

4. Secret Six 2008: Gail Simone gets to play with every villain she wants to her hearts content and have them conflicted over if they're doing good, doing bad, being heroes, being antiheroes being villains, betraying each other, saving each other, and makes them all queer coded. I swear she came up with the entire premise as she wanted DC to pay her for some of her messier fic ideas and she somehow got an ongoing out of it because of the portion of her committed fandom who also went "yes please".

3. Villains United 2005: This is so gay. So extraordinarily gay. It also has a plot that contributes to Infinite Crisis I guess but essentially it's just Gail Simone writing herself as much queer coding as possible while she slams her supervillain action figures together and goes 'and then they kissed'. This is pure Gail Simone shipper on board id stuff and I for one adore it, because among other things it's actually messier, queerer and weirder than confirmed stuff is generally allowed to be (I am not even going to touch on the sexuality stuff built into Ragdoll and Parademon's friendship). Just slightly ahead because it's so concentrated and such a perfect encapsulation of how fandoms expected to read queerness into media characters in the mid 2000s.

2. Wonder Woman 2006 #14-44: There's a reason that Simone's in my list of top Wonder Woman runs. Just...ahhhhh. Simone's happy to glory in the mythology of DC and Wonder Woman and roll around in ideas she's clearly been thinking about for years and it comes through really well.

1. Birds of Prey 1999 #56-108: God I adore this run. Simone takes Dixon's extremely good concept, shakes it up a bit going "well, women DO tend to have friendship groups not just a single friendship; most don't actually hate other women for being in their niche". She takes a very multifaceted relationship (Barbara and Helena's rivalry) and works the two of them through it, with trip ups along the way in both directions, to best friends. She plays more with the concept of Barbara selecting the best team for the job and mixes up lineups more often, and pulls characters in from all over. She just gives the entire concept more depth.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[therealvinelle]

Answering the ask about Carlisle killing humans: take two

In this post, @effervescent-influenza​ asked me what it would take for Carlisle to intentionally kill a human. Sadly for effervescent-influenza, the thought of Carlisle killing people was apparently so inconceivable to my brain that it said “Error. Did you mean: accidentally kills a human?” and so I wrote them a post about Carlisle losing patients as part of his work as a doctor instead. [Insert the meme about Michael asking for a file but getting a cactus from The Good Place here.]

Anyway, here’s me trying to give effervescent-influenza an actual answer and not just another cactus.

What could motivate Carlisle to kill a human?

He was willing to kill newborns in Eclipse. This was in self-defense and to defend others, and he had no other means to stop them. These were unique conditions that had not arisen before in his near four-hundred-years long life.

He’ll never need to defend himself from humans. If he needs to keep a human from hurting other humans, then he will have an array of options, as it is we see him do this in canon with Bella’s would-be rapists. They’re drugged and taken to a police station, where the police have outstanding arrest warrents on them. (Question I’ll return to below: What would he have done if those would-be rapists weren’t known to the police? If they would go back to raping and murdering as soon as they woke up?)

Beyond that, looking for other motives...

Carlisle isn’t going to kill a human for his own benefit, as there would be none. He’s not willing to kill them for their blood, he would not benefit materially, and there’s nothing humans could do to him to provoke him. A patient could become obsessed with him and become his Misery-style terrifying stalker, or a capricious colleague could set out to make him miserable at work, and he’d probably fail but if he didn’t, if a human succeeded in being such a nuisance that it bothered Carlisle, then Carlisle can just move. Always, if a human becomes a problem for him, he can just pack up his things and move. He has a low threshold for doing this.

Carlisle’s not going to kill any humans for his own sake.

But, we do in canon see that he allowed Rosalie to kill her rapists and that he took it for granted that something had to be done about Bella’s would-be rapists.

To take Rosalie and her rapists first, Edward (who is not the best source, but I’ll write a separate post on that. Basically, read the below closely - notice how he inserts himself into this.) explains how it went down:

“In the first year of Rosalie’s second life, before she had disappeared on her several missions of revenge, her thoughts had given her away clearly and thoroughly. I knew what she was planning, and I’d informed Carlisle. The first time, he counseled her gently, urging her to let go of her past life, certain that if she did she would forget, and then her pain could lessen. Revenge could not bring back anything she had lost. But when his guidance met only the implacability of her fury, he gave her advice on how best to be discreet about her forays. Neither of us could argue that she didn’t deserve vengeance. And we both couldn’t help but believe that the world would be a better place without the rapists and murderers who had ended her life.” (Midnight Sun, chapter 18)

For the record, I disagree with the notion that Carlisle would wish Charles Evenson (Esme’s abusive first husband) harm, or harbor revenge fantasies, and this is why. Killing Charles wouldn’t take away Esme’s trauma, it wouldn’t undo any of what happened to her, and it wouldn’t help her heal. It would be for Carlisle’s own benefit, for him to feel better, at the cost of a human life.

More, this would make Carlisle judge and jury of which humans get to live or die. In his life as a doctor, Carlisle has seen countless of cruel men who abused their families. Most of them still have their wives and children living with them, with no rescue in sight. If Carlisle were to kill Evenson, what justification does he have not to kill other abusers?

We know, through Carlisle’s condemnation of Edward’s actions when he ran away to eat rapists, and again when he’s delighted Edward didn’t eat rapists in 2005, that Carlisle doesn’t think humans lose their right to live - or perhaps, to rephrase in light of Rosalie’s situation - killing isn’t worth what it does to you, the killer.

When Rosalie wanted revenge, Carlisle urged her to move past it, to heal without making herself a murderer. That had nothing to do with Royce, or whether Carlisle thought he deserved to die or not, and everything to do with Rosalie. She had a very long life ahead of herself, and Carlisle did not want her to start it off with murder.

Of course, Rosalie refused to move past it, she had to have her revenge to move past this, and so Carlisle agreed. I imagine his consent came because of several factors:

This wasn’t a vampire killing humans, as Carlisle killing Charles would be, or Edward killing rapists for that matter. This was personal: this was a rape victim killing her rapists. Had Rosalie survived and been given a gun, she likely would have done the same thing.

Had Royce and his friends been convicted of the rape and murder of Rosalie Hale, they would have received the capital sentence. Unfortunately there was no body, so no one would know what happened to Rosalie and no charges could be pressed against anybody. Even if they could, and suspected who did it, Royce King II was a rich white man at the top of the social ladder in the 1930′s. He was untouchable. He did what he did to Rosalie because he knew he’d get away with it. Rosalie killing him and the other four rapists was what the legal system would have seen to in an ideal world.

Royce King II would likely have done what he did to Rosalie again, to other women.

Rosalie deserved justice after what was done to her.

Royce King II was a perfect storm of conditions for Carlisle to approve of a killing, and even then he would rather have Rosalie not do it. Rosalie and Edward found out how far Carlisle would go, and that turned out to be not very far at all.

And yet, when Bella was accosted in Port Angeles, there was no question to Carlisle as to whether he should do something or not.

I think, and this is me headcanoning, that when Carlisle has found himself facing the Royces of this world, people who are only going to hurt others, and there has been no legal recourse, his preferred course of action has been nothing, or as little as possible. Action means making himself judge and jury of mankind, and that’s not what he’s for. He walks with humans to help them, not to act as some vigilante above us all . He doesn’t have that right.

In extreme cases, though...

There will always be extreme cases. Serial rapists, child molestors, the worst of the worst. And they’ll be hard to catch for humans, especially in times preceding modern forensics. Carlisle, with his nose and hearing, has likely known the identities of culprits and of undiscovered crimes he knew he could never bring to the police. “Yes, your honor, I smelled him all over the crime scene. He’s guilty!”

I honestly think, in the most desperate situations where to do nothing would be to condemn the innocent to suffer monstrously, Carlisle has gotten creative. This could mean anything, could mean bundling up the offending human and putting them on a boat headed to Australia, could mean gathering up his surgical equipment in the dead of night and making a eunich.

Doesn’t mean murder, though. He made that quite clear with Rosalie and Royce. No matter the evil of the human offender, becoming a murderer would only make it a greater tragedy.

TL;DR: “Cool motive, still murder” - Carlisle Cullen.

[silentfcknhill]

FAVORITE SHOWS IN POSTERS

Well, we’re back for another installment of this tagged meme, this time for TV shows! I also stole this from/was indirectly tagged by @jcmorrigan. My taste in shows also differs a bit from my taste in movies, as I tend to like a lot of comedy shows with not as many horror ones. I’m not into shows as much as movies overall, but there are some that I am very passionate about so I picked twenty again. So, here we go for part 2, in order:

1. Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend Of Korra (2005-2014)

I'm including these as one show since they take place in the same universe and tell a continuation of the same overall plot. Altogether this is probably the best piece of media to ever exist, including movies. It has so many great characters and villains especially and some of the most epic sequences, charming humor and heartwarming moments ever. I've never met a person who didn't like these shows, even people who normally don't like cartoons. My dad, who is biased against animation? He loved it. My mother? She loved it, watched it with her multiple times. My grandmother? Loved it. My ex-boyfriend? Loved it. My best friend? Loved it. I dare anyone not to, and I'm so glad it's making a resurgence since it's on Netflix for a new generation to enjoy.

2. Black Butler (2008-2014)

I never was big into anime growing up and only really started watching anime when I was like 16 and above, but this is one of the exceptions because holy shit is it ever dark and epic. I'm not sure I'd really recommend it for kids, it's more of a teens and young adults kind of anime and that's probably why it's so good, because it isn't afraid to explore dark and mature topics and do it with all of the intensity and gravitas required to do said topics justice. It has lots of great characters, and the story of demons who make deals with children who have a dark side is fun to watch play out.

3. Seinfeld (1989-1998)

My dad was a huge fan of this show so I watched it growing up since I was a toddler and it became a classic for me. I've watched thw hole show through at least 8 times, and I'll never stop because it never gets old or boring. It's also my only comfort show when I'm having a panic attack because of one time a few years ago when I was having a drug-induced psychosis episode and watching it calmed me down, so now it's like the opposite of a trigger and whenever I'm having an episode or something I watch it to bring me back to reality. For that reason it's more than a show to me, it's a medical treatment and I'm forever grateful to it.

4. The Good Place (2016-2020)

The big four shows made my Michael Schur all made it on this post (The Good Place, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office and Parks And Recreation), either in the main list of the honorable mentions, but this is my personal favorite of the four. It's so funny, quirky, relatable and basically tailor-made to suit my interests. Not only is it an entertaining and wholesome show, but I think watching it helped me come to terms with a lot of things like mortality, ethics, philosophy, religion and my relationships with other people. It gets  alot of different viewpoints across and if you're a very analytical and philosophical person like me you'll probably enjoy seeing it all play out. Not to mention, every single character is 'favorite character' material. It's rare you find a show with no filler characters in the main cast, but I genuinely can't choose who is best.

5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013-?)

Another of Michael Schur's shows, this one is just barely under The Good Place and to be honest it was tough to pick my favorite between the two because they're both equally funny. I know it's kind of controversial right now because of the whole law enforcement thing, but I actually think they do a good job of handling social issues in the show and remaining respectful of real-life systemic problems. As for the characters, this is another one of those shows where every single character is gold and I think that tends to be a trend among Schur's shows in general. He produces damn good comedy, and damn good characters. I can't wait to see what they bring next.

6. Rick And Morty (2013-?)

This is unfortunately one of those cases of 'great show, horrible fandom' and for that reason I don't get involved in the fandom even though I love the show. It's a shame because it really is a great show, so funny and, again, such good characters. I think it's a lot more accessible than the fandom likes to claim, so I'm hoping more people will give it a chance and not get put off by the intellectual elitism of the fandom because it does have some of the most entertaining and batshit crazy episodes ever, poking fun of some of the staples of science fiction in media while also poking fun of itself the whole time. Unlike the fandom, the show doesn't take itself seriously and that's enjoyable nowadays.

7. Orange Is The New Black (2013-2019)

While this show is a comedy, it is also a lot of other things and it's probably made me ugly-cry just as many times as it's made me laugh. Well, maybe not as often, but those few scenes (if you've watched the show then you know the ones I'm talking about) made me hysterically sob hard enough to be worth like fifty minor sads. But I didn't even mind because the show is just that good, and it makes you /feel/ something in a real way. Probably because of just how real it gets in terms of telling stories that happen all the time in the real world, sometimes with inevitably tragic endings. But these things do happen every day, and it's important to shine a light on that. It's not just representation for LGBTQ+ but also for POC, the neurodiverse, the poor, and many more. Give it a watch to broaden your perspective!

8. Big Mouth (2017-?)

This is probably the grossest show I've ever seen but by god is it ever funny. Maybe it's because I have an immature sense of humor or something, but I love this show. It definitely won't be everyone's cup of tea and I don't recommend you watch this show with anyone else around because it will get awkward. I think part of its appeal to me is that everyone I talk to who likes it considers it so relatable to their lives growing up but for someone like me who grew up on the autism and asexual spectrum and who was physically an early-bloomer by years, nothing about this show is relatable to me in any way so it makes it all the more crazy and bizarre watching how the people around me must have experienced things. Did y'all really have these experiences with puberty in middle school???

9. Dexter (2006-2013)

I recently heard that this show is coming back for a reboot soon and I'm so excited because this is my absolute favorite drama/thriller show, as evidenced by the fact that it's the highest one on the list so far that isn't a comedy. I love the idea of having a protagonist who is sort of a villain (or at least morally dubious), and the idea of a serial killer who only kills bad people is particularly satisfying for some reason. Maybe because he's the vigilante we all deserve and want in this unjust and evil world of modern times? Idk but the very premise of this show set it up for big things and aside from the ending I think it delivered consistently.

10. Once Upon A Time (2011-2018)

This show took us on some journeys, and you can't deny that. Sure, maybe it didn't always finish what it started and didn't always end in the most satisfying way, but part of its charm is that you didn't care because the experience was just so much fun. They took characters and stories that have been told to death and somehow managed to put a unique and unexpected twist on them, and that alone is admirable. Good twists, good villains, and pretty much every cliffhanger known to man will keep you hooked on binge-watching every episode.

11. RuPaul's Drag Race (2009-?)

A bit different than the other entries on my list in that it's not fiction but a reality competition show, but I couldn't leave Drag Race out because it's just so fucking iconic and perfect. Even when you disagree with the judges or can't stand a certain contestant you'll still be having a good time. It's got the personalities you love to love, the ones you love to hate, and the comedy that's completely meme-able. I mean just how much has this show contributed to pop culture and the internet? More than most of us, henny. I've watched every single season, even the international ones and all of the spinoffs. This show will probably be on for another thirty years when Ru is throwing shade from a hospital bed and I'll still be watching.

12. House (2004-2012)

Some people hate on this show, and I don't get it. I love House. Yes, he's an ass. That's the point. He's supposed to be unlikeable, and that's why I like him. Maybe because I always love the rude, sarcastic, misanthropic jerkass-genius characters for some reason. And I also love procedural shows, so it's a win-win. I also work in the healthcare field so it appeals to me for that reason too, because obviously the whole premise is outlandish which is what makes it funny. Of course it's not realistic for a hospital, so just enjoy the absurdity and don't get too hung up on the details of medical accuracy and professional ethics and you'll be fine.

13. The Office (2005-2013)

The third of Michael Schur's show and the last one that made the main list (sorry Parks And Rec, I love you too but there was just so many good shows to choose from and I saw you last so the nostalgia isn't as strong!) I don't think I need to hype this show up any, it's already a classic and you can't even turn around online without getting hit in the face by a dozen Office memes. You'll have to pry this show and it's relatable characters (especially Michael Scott) from my cold, dead hands.

14. All Hail King Julien/The Penguins Of Madagascar (2008-2017)

Like Avatar/Korra, I also consider this as one show for the sake of this list because it also takes place in the same universe (Madagascar, specifically) and I just couldn't choose one over the other because they're both so perfect. They're funny and I love all the characters (it cut out the weaker links of the Madagascar film series and just focuses on expanding the standout side-characters like King Julien and the penguins). It also delved into some lore, particularly the first show, and even though I didn't also agree with the directions it took (you may have seen me get salty about the ending because I cared too much), I can't deny how much I love it.

15. Bones (2005-2017)

One of the other scarce non-comedy shows on this list, it still has it's funny moments. It's also, like House, another procedural show that involves some medical stuff, but this time on a more scientific and forensic level which is even more interesting. It's nice to see a lead female with Asperger's, too. There's a lot of cop/law enforcement shows where they try to solve crimes, but this one is the best, and I'm saying that as a fan of CSI as well. Don't fight me on this, I'm right. Oh yes, it's corny, it's campy, it's cheesy, but I love every minute of it. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach though.

16. The Simpsons (1989-?)

We all grew up with this show, don't lie. It's been around longer than most people on tumblr have even been alive. Should it have ended seasons ago? Hell yes. But that doesn't take away what the first like 20 or so seasons gave us (there's a lot of argument about when the show jumped the shark, for me it wasn't until much later than the popular consensus). The characters are amazing, but the secret to the show's longevity is that they always return to status quo and there's comfort and nostalgia in that. Bart will still be in 4th grade when you're out there pushing 90. This show is persistent. This show is eternal. This show will outlive us all.

17. Ash Vs. Evil Dead (2015-2018)

Sorely underrated. This show is hilarious, gruesome and campy as hell and I love it. I don't think you necessarily have to watch the Evil Dead movies beforehand in order to get the plot of the show, although it would probably help. In my opinion this show ended way too soon and I'm hoping someday we'll get a comeback because Ash is the reluctant, self-absorbed hero we all need and it's 2020 so at this point there really might actually be a demon-zombie apocalypse and who's gonna save us then if not for the impulsive womanizer with a chainsaw for a hand?

18. Malcolm In The Middle (2000-2006)

Another show I grew up with, I don't think it gets as much credit as it deserves. It has some damn funny episodes and great characters, and it did a lot of the popular sitcom tropes before they were 'cool'. Some other great sitcoms, The Middle in particular, took a lot of influence from this show and it helped pave the way for the future of sitcoms at a time when they were about to make a comeback. If you want a good show about the real experiences of growing up, this is a much more accurate representation of the highs and lows of being an awkward tween from a dysfunctional home.

19. A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)

Unlike most people I actually liked the movie version from the early 2000's, and I read the books growing up so I was excited when I saw there was a live action television adaptation of it on Netflix because I felt like they cancelled the movie franchise too soon. I was interested to see how new actors would handle the roles, and I was not disappointed. I wouldn't say I liked either portrayal of the characters better or worse, they both added their own twist to it and this show is a great and loyal adaptation to the books, probably because the author was so heavily involved. He knew just when to stick to the books and when to improve upon what he had done with the benefit of hindsight. This show is basically the books, but remastered.

20. Winx Club (2004-?)

Sort of an odd one out on this list, but I really love this show even as an adult and it may surprise you to learn it is still going on and the most recent season came out last year. They take big breaks sometimes in between seasons, but it's still going strong and in multiple countries. The only thing I don't like about watching this show is all the different and inconsistent dubs since the original show is Italian and each dub only goes for a couple seasons so by the time you get used to one set of voices/names for the characters oyu have to abruptly switch to another, but it's still worth it for the beautiful animation and cool characters (especially the villains!)

Honorable Mentions: 

13 Reasons Why, America's Next Top Model, American Horror Story, Arrested Development, Bates Motel, Battlestar Galactica, Black Mirror, Care Bears, Chernobyl, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Criminal, CSI, Duck Dodgers, Goosebumps, Kenny Vs. Spenny, Kim Possible, Kingdom Hospital, Lazytown, Lost, Making A Murderer, Mayday, Mindhunter, Modern Family, Monster High, Obsession: Dark Desires, Parks And Recreation, Prison Break, Project Runway, Queer As Folk, Queer Eye, Salem, Schitt's Creek, SCTV, Spongebob Squarepants, The Emperor's New School, The Good Doctor, The Haunting Of Hill House/Bly Manor, The Middle, The Pretender, The Walking Dead, The X-Files, Through The Wormhole, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Unsolved Mysteries, Yugioh

Tagging: @bullet-farmer​ and anyone else who wants to!

[that-crow-kid]

i’m sick of loosing soulmates (so where do we begin?)

By @galactic-sam for @foxes-and-arrows in the @friendly-neighborhood-exchange

The story is here

Rating: General Audiences

Relationships: Penny (Peter) Parker & Tony Stark, background Penny (Peter) Parker & May Parker, background Penny (Peter) Parker & May Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Penny (Peter) Parker, Tony Stark, background Pepper Potts, background May Parker

Summary:

Everyone has two voices in their heads. One is your own, and the other belongs to your soulmate. It’s not their thoughts, just their personality, a bit of a hint at who they are, how they feel.

Tony Stark only ever had one voice in his head. Until he didn't.

Penny Parker never had a single day without two voices.

Tony knew his soulmate was young. She was a girl, born in august of 2001. Penny knew her soulmate was a lot older, enough that his voice had dropped and he drank. A lot.

This is how they find each other.

Note: This is pretty long. I would recommend heading to the Ao3, where it is split into multiple chapters.

Everyone has two voices in their heads. One is your own, and the other belongs to your soulmate. It’s not their thoughts, just their personality, a bit of a hint at who they are, how they feel.

Tony Stark had only ever had one voice in his head. For the first few years of his life, he was reassured that lots of people’s soulmates were younger than them, and that he would get a voice in his head eventually. But by the time he was eleven, those reassurances stopped. Soulmates were very rarely outside of the 10 year age gap, even if they were platonic. Tony simply didn’t have a soulmate. 

————

Penny Parker had never had a day without two voices in her head. She could swear that the voice was familiar, one that she knew, but she could never place where it was from. She knew her soulmate was much older, since for most of her life the voice slurred in her head. He was sarcastic and sharp, and even when drunk enough that it came across in her head he was smart and kinder than he seemed. She knew that when she was 7, he had been scared. Really scared. For about three months, the voice in her head had been in constant terror. Then when she was 9, the voice had been sick and afraid leading up to and during the Stark Expo, which had ended in disaster. When she was 11, for the day leading up to and the day of the battle of New York, her soulmate’s voice had been stressed. Then terrified. Then when she was 14, and had just been bitten by a spider, the voice had been anxious and sad, which wasn’t new, but it was so heightened. It really was a wonder how she hadn’t put two and two together.

————

Tony’s second voice appeared in August of 2001. He barely noticed at first, as drunk as he constantly was, but when he did, he was completely shocked. A girl. A baby girl was his soulmate. He tried his best to drink less after that, since he didn’t really want his soulmate’s whole idea of him being that he was a drunk. He knew that she was smart, almost as smart as him, but without the proper tools, she was stuck bored in classes intended for most kids her age. He knew that something had happened to her in 2005, when she would have been four, as the child’s voice had been sad and confused for weeks. Something bad had happened again in 2012, before the Battle of New York, and she had been scared. About 6 months before the Sokovia Accords were introduced, she had been sick for a week, and almost immediately afterward she became sad and guilty, and then randomly filled with energy. He briefly wondered what had happened to her, but he had been so caught up in Sokovia and in the Accords and figuring out who the new spider-themed vigilante was that he didn’t have time to give it any more thought. 

When he found out who the Spider-Girl was, one 14-year-old Penelope Parker, and almost immediately picked up and went to the Parker’s apartment. He knocked, and the door swung open to reveal May Parker. Recently widowed. Penelope’s aunt. Penelope’s parents had died when she was 4. Plane crash.

“Umm. You’re Tony Stark?” Her shock was very apparent on her face.

“That I am, Mrs. Parker.” 

She cut him off. “Please, call me May.”

 “Alright, May, may I come in? I have something I need to discuss with you in regards to your niece.” 

She opened the door a bit wider, waving him in. “Make yourself at home! My walnut date loaf was just coming out of the oven. Would you like some? Or anything to drink?”

“I’ll have some of the date loaf, thank you very much.” He sat down carefully on the edge of the couch, making sure not to jostle any of his bruised ribs. May sat herself down next to him.

“So, Mr. Stark, what did you want to talk to me about? You said it was something to do with Penny?”

“Please, call me Tony. Yes, she, uh, she applied for a grant from the September Foundation. It looked really good, and I’m here to offer her an internship.” His soulmate’s voice had just gotten interested in something.

“She didn’t tell me she was applying for anything.” May furrowed her brow. 

“Well, it’s a very competitive program. Maybe she didn’t want to get your hopes up?”

“Yes, that must be it.”

Just then, the door swung open.

“Hey May.” He turned to watch Penelope Parker walk into the apartment, and not even notice him. 

“Hey! How was school today?” 

“Okay. There’s this crazy car parked outside -” The girl noticed him, and trailed off. 

“Oh, Ms. Parker!” Tony said, as his soulmate’s voice rapidly went from interested to confused. Maybe a bit afraid?

“What? Oh um. What? Oh, hey, um, I’m, I’m Penny. Penny Parker.”

“Tony.”

“Hey, um, hey, what are you doing here?”

“I figured it’s about time we met. You’ve been getting my emails, right?” He hoped that she’d go along with the script he was feeding her, considering her grades. She did. 

“Yeah, yeah, regarding the -” Penny started, but May cut her off. 

“You didn’t even tell me about the grant!”

“Yeah, the grant.”

“The September Foundation.” He gave her a bit more to go off of. “Right, yeah, remember when you applied?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I approved! So now, we’re in business.”

“You didn’t tell me anything, so what’s up with that? What are we, keeping secrets now?” May sounded genuinely hurt.

“Well, I just, I just know how much you love... surprises? So I thought I’d let you know, what. So, anyways, what did I apply for, exactly?”

————

In conclusion, Tony Stark was weird in person. Without his perfectly manicured TV persona up, he was sharp and witty and a bit sarcastic. It was a good weird, and it felt so familiar, somehow, but Penny wasn’t exactly sure why. She’d never met him, save for the three seconds back at the Stark Expo when he had saved her from the hammer drones. 

At the same time, her soulmate’s voice was satisfied and pleased. He had clearly just done something that made him happy. She was glad - he’d been very stressed lately. He deserved something good to happen. She still wanted to know who he was.

Now, though, she was going to Germany. To steal Captain America’s shield. Which was a super weird thing to think about. She’d better start packing - Mr. Stark’s assistant/chauffeur/head of security was picking her up after school tomorrow, so she’d need to be packed for then. She was going to Germany!

————

Tony’s soulmate was happy. Something had clearly just happened to make her very excited, and now her voice in his head would. Not. Shut. Up. 

He was a bit too preoccupied with getting to Germany to think too much about her. If he had, maybe he would have noticed why Penny Parker was so ridiculously familiar. But he was busy, and she was getting on his nerves, so he tried to tune her voice out. 

All day on Friday his soulmate’s voice was filled with anticipation and excitement. The girl probably had a party this weekend that she was looking forward to. He was sure that his voice in her head was significantly less ecstatic. It was a wonder she was in such a good mood given how gloomy his voice must be, and if she heard him as well as he heard her, well, let’s just say that his voice’s thoughts must not be very nice to be stuck with. And yet, all day long, she’s happy and excited. He’s in Germany, having flown out almost immediately after meeting Penny, so he ends up on the phone with Happy in the middle of the night as he and Penny are in the air.

“Tony. This girl will not shut up.” Happy opens with. Tony has to stifle a laugh. If only Happy knew his soulmate. 

“Sorry, Hap, but she’s your responsibility. Besides - now you know what it’s like to live with my soulmate, who, if I ever meet, will probably be around Penny’s age and just as excitable.”

Happy is silent for a good 10 seconds. “Tony, do you know how old your soulmate is? When you first started hearing her?” 

“Sometime mid, early august of 2001, I’d say, why?”

“Did it occur to you that Penny’s birthday is August 10th?”

“Why do you know that? Never mind, Hogan, what are you saying?”

“Is Penny your soulmate?”

Tony stills for a moment. He’s heard about the ‘moment,’ when you realise that your soulmate is, indeed, your soulmate, when everything goes still and quiet and a sense of serenity descends over you for a few seconds, but he’d never believed it was actually a thing, you know? One of those things that people exaggerate. Well, he sure believed it now.

“Tony?”

“Yeah, Happy, I think she is.” His mind starts racing. Her parents died in 2005. She was four, and she was sad and confused. Her uncle, right after she was bitten, about 6 months ago, when she was sick and guilty. Something in 2012, that didn’t come up on her records. Oh well, he’d find out eventually, he’s sure. She’s his soulmate. Penny Parker, Spider-Girl, is his soulmate. Holy fuck.

————

Happy had gone to the bathroom about 3 minutes ago, and she knew he was on the phone in there, but she wasn’t particularly trying to listen. The bathroom was a good way off in the massive (massive!) private (private!) jet (jet!) and the whirr of the jets was so loud that she could barely hear over them anyways. Her soulmate’s voice had been moaning and groaning all day, and very suddenly, about 2 minutes into Happy’s ‘bathroom break’ he'd gone quiet, and she’d felt a sense of peace for a few seconds before it had faded. If the stories were true, then that means that her soulmate had realized that she was their soulmate. But who was her soulmate? Who did she know who would have just realized they were her soulmate? She couldn't figure it out. Oh, well, she was halfway across the world, so she guessed she shouldn’t worry about it.

Happy came out of the bathroom, and he seemed a bit… cautious? In regards to her, in particular. He was being a bit nicer, when before he had been cold and disgruntled. 

“Hey, Happy, how long do we have until we land?” She asked. The past few times, he’d responded with a gruff ‘soon,’ but this time,

“In about an hour. Tony’s meeting us at the airport, driving us back to the hotel. Gotta rest you up for tomorrow.”

That was… definitely a surprise. One, that she got an actual answer, one that seemed… genuine, and two that Tony was meeting them to drive them to the airport. What was that about? Surely the man had better things to be doing than driving them from the airport to the hotel.

————

Tony wrung his hands behind his back as he waited at the (completely empty) airport for Penny’s plane to land. Well, it was technically his plane, but if she wanted it, she could have it. He would give her anything - he had waited so long, wished for his soulmate for so long, and now she was finally here. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say. Was he even going to tell her?  He’d read on an online forum on his way here that telling your soulmate before they found out on their own could be detrimental to your relationship. No. He would just act more like himself than he ever has, and hope she’d put two and two together in her head. Maybe he’d outwardly express some emotions. Yeah, that should do it! And then

“Hey, Mr Stark!” The girl herself came around the corner before stopping abruptly and giving him a small wave. Her voice in his head chattered nervously, and he gave her a grin. 

“Hey, kid.”

“Why’d you come and pick us up at the airport? Don’t you have better things to be doing?”

“I decided to skip my, ah, ‘more important things,’ for sake of riding with you back to the hotel. Happy, the car’s out back. Let’s go.”

As they walked out to the car, Tony swung an arm over Penny’s shoulder.

“So, Penelope. Anything of interest going on in Penny world?”

“Not really, Mr. Stark! This is the most exciting thing, for sure.”

Tony hummed in response. “Hmm. Well, kid, tell me about yourself? Who is Penny Parker; vigilante extraordinaire, top of her class, academic decathlon champ?”

She blushed. “Well, I wouldn’t say top of my class -”

He cut her off. “No, you are, I looked.”

“Oh.” She seemed surprised, almost like she hadn’t been expecting it.  “Well. What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know. Here, how about… what’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you in the past week. Apart from me showing up at your house and flying you to Germany, I mean.”

“Well, on the plane just now, actually, was when it happened! I suddenly got this feeling of immense calm and peace rush over me, and my very talkative soulmate was super quiet while it lasted. I’m not sure what that was about!”

Well. There it was. “Your soulmate? Do you know who they are?”

“No, but I think that they know who I am.”

“Sounds like it.”

“Mr Stark, I remember reading somewhere that you don’t have a soulmate?”

He paused. “When’s that interview from?”

“1998? 1999? Around then,” Penny responded.

“My soulmate appeared in 2001.”

“Really? That’s a big gap!”

He hummed. “How about you? When did your soulmate appear?” Tony knew what she was going to say.

“He’s been around as long as I can remember. I’m actually pretty sure I have a big age gap too, because he was drunk a lot for the first 7 years of my life? So either he was at least 21, or he was a child drunk. He’s stopped now, though, which is good.”

“That is good.” They arrived at the car. He opened the door for Penny, and walked around to the other side. “Hogan, you drive.”

————

Penny was seated in the back of a very, very luxurious car. And next to her was Tony Stark himself. He’d been really chatty on the way to the car, asking her about her soulmate, and for a few minutes he’d almost sounded like the voice that chattered in her head alongside her own. Now that she thought about it, his voice was almost the exact same as her soulmate’s, too. But it couldn’t be. No way Tony Stark was her soulmate.

————

Penny realized in the middle of the battle. When things first started to go to absolute shit, her soulmate’s rapid descent into near panic almost perfectly matched her own, and the events that she could see before her eyes. And she noticed him, too, when she realized for certain. He had stilled, a look of serenity passing over his face for a split second, and he had glanced at her. And then James Rhodes had been shot out of the sky, and she hadn’t seen him since. 

Now, she was lying in her hotel room. It was around 9pm, but she was really tired. But just as she had been drifting off, Tony Stark had decided that he was going somewhere. Well, that’s what she guessed. He was muttering and slightly afraid, and now she was wide awake and pretty worried. 

Slipping on the suit, she pushed open the window to her room and slid into Germany’s cool night air. Slowly creeping along the side of the building, she climbed to the top. Just as she reached it, a quinjet flew directly over her head, low enough that she could have reached it on a standard ladder. On instinct, she shot a web at the bottom. It stuck, and she was tugged off the roof, the quinjet taking her soaring over Germany. She pulled herself up, getting her hands and feet in contact with the jet, and scrambled to the top, keeping herself pressed as close to the jet as she could muster.

The quinjet stayed low, which was good because she probably would have passed out if it hadn’t. It flew for a while - probably over 4 hours, but she didn’t have a watch. When they finally landed, it was a lot colder. She wasn’t sure where they were, but there was a lot of snow. She watched as Tony got off the plane, and walked towards a large, snow-covered building. Bunker? It could probably be called a bunker. 

Just then, another quinjet flew down, and none other than Captain America and his friend with the cool arm got off. The three spoke for a moment, before all heading inside together. The doorway was sliding shut quickly, but Penny was quicker, and she slid in as the door clicked shut behind her. She saw light and heard indiscriminate muttering up ahead, and like any sane person would do when their soulmate was right there and scared, she inched her way towards it.

She didn’t want to be seen - she didn’t know what they’d say, and she knew they’d be mad, so she stayed out of sight, inching along the ceiling in places. Because she was keeping her distance, she couldn’t really hear what they were saying. But Penny was a superhero, and she knew what a fight sounded like.

And then Captain America and Cool-Arm-Man left the room she had followed them too. Tony Stark was groaning and fading fast in her ear. She watched the Captain &  walk out from where she was tucked into a corner above the doorway.

And Mr. Stark wasn’t with them.

Once they had turned the corner and gotten out of sight, Penny dropped to the ground and inched her way into the room. When she saw the Iron Man suit, though, she picked up the pace.

She dropped to the ground beside him, and shook him, trying not to panic. “Mr.  Stark? Mr. Stark?”

The mask slid open. “Penny? What -” he coughed, spitting out a bit of bloody saliva to the side. “What are you doing here? How’d you -” He coughed again, eyes fluttering shut for a moment.  “How’d you get here?” 

His voice in her head was slow and rapidly fading. “I grabbed onto the plane and didn’t let go. Is there someone I can call?”

————

During the fight, when Steve smashed his shield into his chest, Penny’s voice in his head was frantic. It was frantic now, too, and she was standing over him. Sitting? Was he lying down?

He knew he said something, and that she was now talking, but he couldn’t understand what she was saying. It was like they were underwater - how did they get underwater?

He had the sensation of being lifted and carried, and he knew he was moving. He just didn’t understand how, as he certainly wasn’t moving himself. He slipped farther and farther down, his soulmate’s frantic speaking slowly floating away into nothing.

————

Penny carried him all the way from the inner area of the bunker back out across to the quinjet. It was pretty hard, and that's saying a lot for the girl who had stopped a bus moving 60 miles an hour with her bare hands.

But Tony Stark was not a light man, and his completely solid metal suit was pretty heavy too. And a dead weight 1000-pound metal body was pretty hard to maneuver. 

He blacked out completely about halfway back to the quinjet.

When she got to the bottom of the quinjet, she paused. How was she supposed to get him inside? But before she could properly worry, a loading ramp sank down in front of her, and she dragged him up and into the body of the jet. The ramp closed behind her.

“Hello, Penny.” A female voice said from above.

She jumped, almost dropping the man she had in her arms. “Hello? Who’s there?”

“I am FRIDAY, boss’s personal assistant. Do not be alarmed. I am an artificial intelligence. In his current state, I recommend bringing him to the med bay of the quinjet. He is not in critical condition, so do not worry. Follow the on lights to get there.”

Penny nodded, and then realized that the AI probably couldn’t see her. It was a relief that he wasn’t critical - she definitely didn’t think her ‘I give myself bad stitches after patrol’ medical knowledge was going to cut it if he wasn’t. “Alright. FRIDAY? Can you lead the way?.” She hoisted Tony up, and began working her way along the hallways. As she walked, FRIDAY began to speak some more.

“I have additionally notified Ms. Potts, who will be organizing a medbay for him back at the Avengers compound. She has also been notified of your status as soulmates, and will be expecting your presence.”

Well, there it was. Her confirmation on what she suspected and was absolutely positive of. “Does he know?”

“Boss is fully aware of this fact. You have now reached the medbay. As well, I have accessed Boss’s suit and disengaged it.” Mr. Stark’s suit fell away, and wow, he was so much lighter.

“Okay, what do I do now?”

“Place him on the bed to your left and hook up the ECG and heart rate machine. Then you are going to need to place an IV.”

She was going to have to do what? Well, that was certainly going to not go well.

“I will walk you through the placement of all of the machinery.”

Oh. Good. A walkthrough on how to place an IV from an AI. That would certainly make her a medical professional. 

————

When Tony woke up, he woke up slowly, like surfacing after a long dive. Sounds came into focus a few at a time, and one of the last ones that he heard was long, slow breathing that absolutely was not coming from him. He blinked awake, and with no small amount of effort, twisted his head to where the breathing was coming from. 

It was Penny. She was sound asleep, her phone in one hand and a book spread open on her lap. 

“Penny?” he found himself saying, and she startled awake. 

“Mr. Stark! Are you alright? I’m sorry I completely hitched a ride on the top of your jet and followed you to wherever we were -”

He cut her off. “Penny, it’s fine. I probably would be dead if you hadn’t, so thanks.”

They were both silent for a minute. 

“Hey, I know -”

“Did you -”

They both started speaking at the same time. With a gargantuan amount of effort, Tony waved her on. “You first.”

“No, no, Mr. Stark, you can go!”

“Alright, but you need to call me Tony.” He took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a split second, and said “Did you know we’re soulmates?”

She paused, and said “Yes. But it’s totally fine Mr. Stark! You don’t have to spend time with me. I know I’m just a kid from Queens and -”

“It’s Tony, kid, and what are you talking about? You’re my soulmate. Of course I want to spend time with you!”

“But -”

“Kid, c’mere.” He patted the bed beside him. Hesitantly, she stood up, made her way over and carefully sat on the bed beside him. He reached up and pulled her down into a hug.

“Oh. This is nice.”

Tony hummed, and casually brought a hand up to her head and began combing through her shoulder-length curls.

Slowly, he slid from consciousness. There was no second voice in his head, but it was okay. Instead, his kid was right there in his arms, and she wasn’t going anywhere.

Bonus:

This was definitely a weird day. It started with her realizing Mr. Stark - Tony? - was her soulmate, and then following him to Siberia from Germany by hitching a ride on his quinjet, where she had then dragged him out of an abandoned hydra bunker, flown the quinjet back to the avengers compound, and met the Pepper Potts.

Now, though, Tony was back asleep and she was lying on top of him. Her paternal soulmate that she had finally met. His hands were in her hair and she didn’t want to disturb him, so there she lay in Tony fucking Stark’s arms. Tony Fucking Stark, her soulmate. 

Well, she figured, I’ve had a long day too. And this position isn’t half bad for a nap.

[jeremys-blogs]

Avatar: Complexities in War

Avatar: The Last Airbender is rightly regarded as one of the greatest works of modern animation. Having debuted back in 2005, it quickly gained a following that spread into a worldwide audience that fell utterly in love with its action, its characters, it setting and its story. And even now, over a decade since it left our screens, it's still looked back to with reverence and respect. But without question the thing that received the most praise from audiences and critics alike was its handling of complicated themes surrounding the issues of war. This was, after all, a show where children are forced into a life-or-death battle for the fate of the world, and as such it was always going to have to face and answer difficult questions. Who do you side with? What is the best way to fight? What kind of damage is done, not only to those who fight but to their families? All these ideas and more were shown at one point or another and all of them were handled expertly. With war as both a setting and a framing device, the show was free to explore all of these issues in a way that was less restrictive than the likes of more serialized animations, and to this day people are still talking and discussing those themes, serving as a testament to just how powerful this story's legacy is.

Now, I could talk all day about all the things I love about this show, but for right now what I want to focus on is something that, maybe more than anything else, I truly appreciate about the central conflict that they present. And that's their willingness to blur the lines between good and evil. Because if you're a kid who has grown up on animated works that present rigid good guy vs bad guy stories with factions and the like, it can be easy to assume, especially with the show's opening, that sorting out friends and enemies will be immediate in Avatar. The now-famous line of "everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked" will prime audiences for thinking of that nation as a group of irredeemable villains who must be stopped at all costs, while those nations it fights are the righteous heroes who are above reproach. But as time goes on and we get into the wider world of Avatar, we're slowly shown that this initial impression is inaccurate. That our notions of who is good and who is evil might not be as clear-cut as we first assumed. Throughout its three seasons, Avatar showed us that this war, as in all wars, has its grey areas, and that no nation was free of ambiguity.

The Water Tribe, as our first example, is the first of the four nations we're introduced to, and they're presented to us as the friendly starter village that our hero Aang must set out from. Two of his closest friends are from this group and our first encounter with them is both ordinary village life and being near-victims of a Fire Nation attack. The show sets us up to think of the Water Tribe as entirely benevolent, and as Katara and Sokka are largely the only members we see for the majority of the season, they're a nation with a lot of goodwill built up by the time we get close to the season finale. But that all gets twisted when we get to the North, where it's revealed that the nation is so entrenched in tradition that women are prohibited from learning waterbending, something we've been wanting to see katara succeed at all season. So rigid are they that the women of the tribe don't even have a say in who they wed, as shown with Yue. And later we find that the Water Tribe produced Hama, a waterbender who, while initially starting out as a defender of her people, eventually twisted into one who sought to torture innocent Fire Nation civilians, even going to far as to create bloodbending, a technique which I think we can all agree is a violation at best.

The Earth Kingdom is, by far, the nation we spend the most time with in this series, and as such we've been given plenty of examples of people within it cracking the pedestal that we might imagine for the Fire Nation's chief rival in the war. Military leaders like General Fong, who turned on Aang and endangered his friends if it meant being able to use him as a weapon. Vigilantes like Jet who, like Hama, were willing to risk innocent civilians over their personal quest for revenge. Lynch-mob-happy crowds like those seen in Avatar Day, who showed a deeply corrupt idea of law and justice. All of these put the Earth Kingdom in a bad light, but the biggest strike against them was the dark heart that is their capital, Ba Sing Se. Though told to us throughout the first two books as a safe haven, we eventually discover that it is more akin to a police state, ruled over by shadowy agents who are willing to go so far as to kidnap and brainwash their own people, all while the actual King, admittedly through no fault of his own, was so oblivious to the suffering of his people that he didn't even know the war existed. And of course, the willingness of those aforementioned agents to effectively hand their city over to the Fire Nation certainly doesn't help their image.

The Fire Nation, as the show's central antagonistic force, has a lot going against it. The crimes it has committed cannot be ignored and the fact that it has spent an entire century trying to dominate everyone else makes it difficult to see it in any kind of sympathetic light. Yet we are often shown goodness and decency within that nation, most notably in two of the show's most important characters, Zuko and Iroh, with the latter especially being perhaps the nicest person in the entire cast. But it doesn't just stop with them, as we get numerous examples of likeable people from that nation, like the kids in the Headband, or the villagers from the Painted Lady. People who, like those in other nations, are being harmed in one way or another by the Fire Nation leadership. Even firebending itself, the very tool so often used for world conquest in this story, is explained to not be an inherently evil power, as Aang himself first believed, but a source of warmth, light and energy. Much like Zuko himself, the Fire Nation is an entity with many different sides, often in conflict with itself, and though the negative is certainly pronounced, it doesn't wash away all of the good that it has to show.

The Air Nomads, you'd rightly suspect, would be difficult to characterise as anything other than good, since our only real exposure to them over the course of the show was Aang. But in the few times we see life in the Air Temples, specifically during the flashback segments of the Storm, we see a few troubling signs from that particular group. Namely the decision of the leaders to push Aang's training as Avatar ahead of what was deemed proper. A decision which ultimately led to him running away. It was an action that showed that they were putting his capacity as the Avatar ahead of his personal well-being, gearing him up to be a child soldier, which is not a good sign. Additionally, we're given hints that the Air Nomads are, by and large, unconcerned with the world beyond, intervening only when there is an Avatar among their number. That might not seem like a particularly bad thing, but if it means, as I suspect, that they would have been willing to sit back and do nothing as the Fire Nation ravaged their allies, then it makes them come across as, at best, aloof when it comes to the world. Peace and spirituality are all well and good, but if their stance is to avoid conflict at a time when a fight must be fought, when others like the Water Tribe would go to help the Earth Kingdom, it's hard to justify.

Now, please don't misunderstand me when I write all this. Because I am not attempting to say that the Fire Nation should be absolved of their actions, or that the other nations should be seen as worse than they are. After all, the Fire Nation was guilty of genocide, a crime that cannot ever be forgiven, and I would never suggest otherwise. But when you look at the show as a whole, at all the places and peoples we see, it becomes apparent that the binary good-vs-evil ideas that an audience might have from other animated shows simply doesn't apply as well to this story. There is evil, tremendous evil, to be sure, and the show in no way tries to say that the Fire Nation shouldn't be fought or stopped from what they're doing. But at the same time they make it clear that, just as in real-world conflicts, there's nuance and flexibility to the various groupings of enemies and allies. It's a lesson that good and evil can come from any place and any person, just as it is in real life, and it's one more of the many reasons why this show was so ahead of its time, and still a standard by which even modern cartoons should be judged

[pandastern]

Gravity (Bakugou x OC)

Part 2: New Girl In Town (past)

Bakugou x Vigilante!OC

Warnings: angst, explicit language, violence

Word count: 2005

Genre: enemies to lovers ; angst ; romance

When a new student makes an entrance, Bakugou has a real bad feeling. There is something about this girl that just doesnt feel right. From the flaming hair to the calculating glint in her green eyes, everything about her just pisses him off.

Little does he know that his fate is intertwined with the person he despises so much, defining his future path in a way he would have never expected.

part1

“According to the papers the principal gave me, you got in here based on recommendation from... Europe?”

“Yes, sir,” Artemis answered as she followed her new home room teacher.

Shouta Aizawa was indeed a very successful pro hero, but despite his reputation as Eraser Head, he sure was one weird fellow.

If she hadn't known better, she would have taken him for some homeless person. The yellow atrocity he called a sleeping bag wasn't really working in his favour here though, she thought to herself.

Not that it really mattered, she supposed. After all, appearance wasn't always important. Unless, of course, you knew how to use it in your favour.

“Interesting. The semester has already started, though. Why do you think you can show up later in the course than anyone else? Just because you're an exchange student doesn't mean you get special treatment.” Aizawa's voice cut through her train of thought.

The slight edge to his tone didn't go unnoticed to Artemis.

“The transfer process took a little longer than it should have done. I also had an injury that needed to heal first,” she replied with a shrug. “I was told by the head office it wouldn't be a problem. I don't expect special treatment, sir. I'm more than capable of pulling my weight in class.”

Artemis understood that in this school, teachers made the rules. This kind of tyranny prepared each student differently for their eventual goal: to become a pro hero. Not that she was interested in that. Being a hero nowadays was nothing more than a job. Congrats, you could use your quirk, but at what cost? She wondered how many students were aware of all the restrictions that had been put in place for people like them.

“Do you, now? Your confidence is admirable, but let's see if your actions actually match your words,” the teacher scoffed.

Narrowing her eyes, Artemis studied the man in front of her. Hobo aesthetic or not, there was a danger that lurked beneath the surface, and she'd be a fool to underestimate him.

“All right, class, get in your seats and shut your traps. We've got a new student here with us today,” Aizawa said, kicking open the ridiculously large classroom door. “Ms Moon, introduce yourself quickly and take a seat. I've got a lesson to teach.”

The entire class of 1A perked up. A new student? That was something almost unheard of. Katsuki Bakugou let out a scoff. Another extra in this class. Great. He tore his crimson eyes from the window and looked towards the front of the class.

A girl stepped in. She was rather short for his taste (not that he had a particular taste in women – that was a fucking waste of time). Her long hair was tied up in a ponytail and was coloured... several shades of red. He had to admit he'd never seen such a strange colour combination. Red, auburn, ginger and bright orange ran through her hair, making it look as though her head were literally on fire. Was that a hairdressers' appointment gone wrong? Or had she really been born with hair like that?

Not that he cared, obviously.

Turning towards the class, the girl bowed politely and surveyed the room. Big, luminous, emerald eyes fell on Katsuki, sending a chill down his spine.

What the fuck?

“Hello,” she said. The accent in her Japanese was prominent, though not in a way that made him cringe as it did with so many foreigners, he had to admit.

“My name is Artemis Moon and I've transferred here from a school in Europe. I look forward to working with you all.”

It took just those few words to make the hair on the back of Katsuki's head stand. Something about this girl was... wrong. Again, those creepy catlike eyes met his, and the corners of her lips curved slightly upwards. Katsuki was quick to decide – he already hated her. From the way her posture was as straight as a goddamn soldier's to the calculating glint in her freaky eyes, everything about her just flat-out pissed him off.

He could hear Kaminari and Mineta high fiving each other in the back as the girl, Artemis, moved through the rows and took a seat between Uraraka and the pink girl whose name he'd already forgotten again. She smiled as she made exchanged a few words with them. This seemed normal enough, even though Katsuki could clearly see that the beaming smile this Artemis gave her classmates never truly reached her creepy eyes. How did no-one else notice that?

Morning classes were surprisingly unspectacular for Artemis' taste. Stuff like English wasn't too hard for her, but maths in Japanese was just murder. She'd already figured that as a foreigner, she'd have some sort of problem in that department.

At lunchtime, a very cute, bubbly girl named Ochako Uraraka took Artemis by the sleeve and practically dragged her to the cafeteria. Not that she particularly minded. Artemis was grateful at being introduced to her classmates in this friendly manner. It was a nice group, she found, easy to talk to and get along with.

“Say, Artemis,” a rather outgoing girl with pink skin named Mina (if she remembered correctly) asked. "How do you like UA so far? Is it better than your old school in Europe?”

“Well,” Artemis said, taking a bite from her tempura shrimp, “It's... different. UA High really does have a different standard. The students are nicer, too!”

She gave her new friends a wink.

“In my old class, everyone was constantly at each other's throats. That was because you got kicked from the course if you don't produce the right results.”

“What?!” Izuku Midoriya gasped. “That sounds horrible! What if you were having a bad day?”

“It wasn't as bad as that. But if you failed several times in a row, well, you were fucked.” Artemis shrugged.

The conversation moved along to where she was from exactly and what her family was doing. She made sure her answers were satisfactory but still vague. Neither topic was something she particularly liked to talk about. She hadn't made her way all the way to Japan to be reminded of the shithole she had come from, that was for sure.

As the conversation shifted back to the upcoming classes, Artemis suddenly felt someone's eyes burning into the back of her head. She turned and noticed the same boy from today's class sitting behind her. He'd been staring at her before, when she had introduced herself. If she didn't know better, she'd think he was plotting her death.

“Uhm...” She tapped Uraraka's shoulder. “What's his problem?”

Ochako followed her gesture to the ash blond boy sending a murder stare in her direction.

“Oh. That's Katsuki Bakugou.” She looked a little worried. “He's... something else.”

Raising a brow, Artemis turned to look at Mr Grumpy Pants again. She had the urge to go over and tell him that a picture of her might have lasted longer, but starting an unnecessary fight on her first day seemed like a stupid thing to do.

Suddenly, Bakugou shot up and stomped over to her. Did he have a mind reading quirk or something?

He stopped in front of her and glared down, lips pulling into a snarl. “I don't know who you are, but don't you dare get any fucking stupid ideas. You ain't special just cause you're from Europe or an exchange student. I'm the best person here and I'll stomp your ass into the fucking ground, so don't even try! Fucking loser!” Every word that came from his mouth dripped with arrogance and venom.

Wow, Artemis thought. What an absolute ass. Was he trying to intimidate her? She felt Midoriya shrink some sizes next to her and that told her everything she needed to know about this dick.

She put on her sweetest smile and beamed at Bakugou. “Hello, Artemis! Nice to meet you. My name is Grumpy McTwatface,” she purred in a sickly sweet tone. “Hello, Grumpy McTwatface! How can I help you?” She held out a hand and shook it with her other in a mocking handshake.

Across the table, Kaminari and Mina snorted into their soda glasses. A vein popped up in Bakugou's temple, throbbing dangerously.

“What the fuck did you just say? I'm gonna fucking kill you!” he roared.

Was he being serious? Right here in the cafeteria? Artemis couldn't help but let out a laugh. "Oh, boy. You have a pretty temper there, my man.”

The vein on his temple grew. This shouldn't be as fun as it was. She really shouldn't provoke an obviously short-tempered twat on her first day, but she'd never been good at resisting temptation. Especially if Bakugou's reaction was so damn rewarding.

Artemis turned towards her new friend and sighed deeply. “You know, I spent a summer in France once. My Brother and I still had some firecrackers left over from New Year. He dared me to stick them into those portable potties they have on construction sites, and since both of us were particularly bored, I lit them and did just that.” She gave Bakugou a side glance and continued nonchalantly, “The end product of that little joke reminds me particularly of you... Katsuki Bakugou, was it? A flaming pile of shit.”

He was fuming. Artemis could practically feel the rage radiating off him. The scent of nitroglycerin hung in the air.

Bakugou's hand shot forward, grabbing a fistful of her blouse and ripping her out of her seat onto her feet.

“I'm gonna blow you to bits,” he hissed.

She really shouldn't have risen to it. Artemis knew she should do her best to diffuse the situation. She knew that provoking this guy and making an enemy was a very stupid move. But something about him just asked for it.

“I highly doubt that,” she purred with a smirk. “Barking dogs don't bite.”

Artemis could see her own death in his eyes. Maybe it should have scared her, but the kind of life she'd lived up to this point had made her too destructive to fear for her own safety. His rage pushed her further. There was a thrill in this back and forth that she couldn't explain.

Before Bakugou could respond, the sound of a loud bell cut through the loud noise of chattering students in the cafeteria. Using this distraction, Artemis tore herself from his hands and grabbed her bag off her seat.

“Well, this was nice!” she chirped. “Shall we go?” She turned towards her new friends, who'd been watching the altercation with a mixture of astonishment and worry. Izuku, especially, looked afraid for her life.

“Don't think I'll let you off easy. I'll kick your ass in combat training!” Bakugou snarled at her before turning and stomping off.

“Good lord, that man needs a chill pill,” Mina sighed. “You should be careful, Artemis. If you provoke him too much, he'll go off on you.”

“Oh, I'm counting on it,” Artemis chuckled.

“All right, kids! Time for combat training.” Aizawa's somewhat bored voice echoed through the training grounds.

Artemis stood with her classmates in a little group as the teacher explained the rules of today's activity. His eyes remained glued to her. Something in Artemis' gut told her Aizawa was planning something she wouldn't appreciate. Maybe that was revenge for giving him lip earlier. She sighed and tugged on the jacket of her sports uniform. For a tracksuit, it was rather constricting. She preferred to have her arms bare. Oh well...

Feeling the burn of two crimson eyes on her, she shifted her attention towards Bakugou. He was staring again, shooting daggers at her. Guess she really had pissed him off big time.

“Artemis Moon!!

“Huh?” Artemis hadn't even noticed Aizawa had addressed her. “Yes?”

“I would appreciate it if you paid attention in my class.” The teacher raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “You and Bakugou, into the ring, now.”

Well, damn.

[fallenhero-rebirth]

Hi! :-) I'm pretty bad at reading between the lines and understanding subtext, especially since English isn't my first language, so I thought it'd be easier to ask: when did The Big One happen? Was the world previous to that 'normal' (similar to ours)? What exactly did they do to MC at the farm? What, exactly, is a regene? Sorry for so many Q's, lol. I really love Fallen Hero but I feel like I'm missing a lot of information, or maybe not all of it has been published yet. Gr8 work! 🖤

The world before that was not entirely like ours, it diverged around 1900 or so. If our world focused a lot on the space race, atomic power, atomic bombs, getting to the moon, flight, satellites and things like that, the FH world focused a lot more on medical tech and what we would call cyborg tech. It’s behind on things like cellphones and the internet (think mid nineties for that) and we never went to the moon. Putting the new and updated timeline below.

A ReGene is a vat-grown body implanted with an artificial intelligence mind. They tend to be boosted in various ways, and subject to intense modifications since they have no rights, they tend to be used for experimental new technologies. If they die, they just grow more.

What the MC did at the Farm is spoilers.

History of the Fallen Hero world.

1945: World War II ends, but the technological arms race continues. The United States and the Soviet Union both 'recruit' available German and Japanese scientists, taking full advantage of what they learned from the more unconscionable experiments during the war.

1951: The Korean War very nearly turns nuclear when the first Chinese Type 52 bipedal tanks help push the UN forces out of the mountains and nearly out of the country. Though clumsy and slow, they prove to be useful in the mountainous terrain, leading to an upswing in the power armor industry.

1955: The Soviet Union announces that it has successfully created the first functional, cybernetic limb replacement. This is widely considered the start of the Cyber Race.

1957: The Soviet Union manages to successfully interface man and machine, leading to a quantum leap in power armor technology as bipedal movement patterns become a lot more organic.

1960's: The US repeatedly releases new versions of its power armor suits as the Vietnam war rages, the lighter, more maneuverable armors being more suitable for the terrain. Various upgrades for soldiers are becoming more and more common, and the nickname 'Mods' is coined for those changed by the cybernetic implants.

1968: The first so-called 'Masked Heroes' appear in public, Modded veterans from the Vietnam war angered by their treatment at the hands of the government and the public. Very soon afterwards, new villains also take to the stage, and the police find it increasingly difficult to deal with disturbed people who have military training and equipment.

1971: A metabolic diet pill launched without proper product testing turns out to have uncommon and dangerous side effects. Though most users die or are crippled, a certain lucky few develop powers hitherto unseen in humans. The pill is quickly nicknamed the 'Hero Drug' and though it is pulled off the market, use and research continues. People who have gained powers are nicknamed 'Boosts' in the media.

1976: The Hero Drug is declared an illegal narcotic, banned after causing the deaths of untold thousands of people. Still, the lure is too strong, and research moves underground and behind securely-locked corporate doors.

1979: Wei Chen, who will later be known to the public as Marshal Steel, is born.

1980: The Year of Hell. The Big One hits the West Coast, and the San Andreas fault causes a massive earthquake to strike Los Angeles, which triggers the Cascadia subduction zone a few days later. The massive earthquake and resulting tsunami throws the whole West Coast into disarray with more than 150,000 estimated dead and missing. As if this was not enough, three months later the Mammoth Lake volcanic system reawakens, and the resulting eruption destroys any hope of quickly salvaging the west.

1980-1990: Aftershocks ravage the West Coast, halting any rebuilding effort. Little by little rebuilding turns to evacuation, all efforts being put into getting the Midwest back on its feet to regain a stable food supply. Food riots are common and several armed uprisings against the increasingly-authoritarian government are struck down by the military.

1981: The US government is nearly paralyzed by refugees as well as the rain of ash covering most of the Midwest. President Clark declares martial law.

1982: ${ortega_name} Ortega, also known as Charge, is born.

1984: Los Angeles is renamed 'Los Diablos' in 'The Angels of Los Diablos,' a famous documentary about the rescue efforts.

1986: The GeniTech corporation patents the creation of lab-grown stem cell organs, revolutionizing the transplant industry.

Late 80s: Estimated birth of ${name} ${surname}, later known as Sidestep.

Early 90s: Fed up with the suffocating yoke of the federal government and martial law, more and more people start moving back into the ruins of the west, starting the recolonization. A disproportionate amount of these people are Enhanced heroes and villains, both Mods and Boosts fleeing government control.

1992: In an effort to increase private industry investments, the West Coast is declared a free economic zone, where there will only be the bare minimum of federal government oversight. No taxes. No regulations.

1992: The GeniTech corporation patents whole-body stem cell clones, allowing for large-scale harvesting of replacement organs. Following a tumultuous debate about the ethics involved, GeniTech is one of the first companies to move their corporate headquarters to Los Diablos to escape regulation.

1993: The Re-Gene project is first revealed in a New York Times article, claiming it dates back to the seventies with the goal of making androids for use in war. The author, Tim Mazetti, was killed in a traffic accident soon afterwards. The future Ranger, Lady Argent, is born.

1996: Los Diablos is up and running: the first Mayor is elected, and it is starting to look more and more like a functional city. With the huge changes to the coastline, large tracts of the South Bay are abandoned and the city shuffles inland. The future Ranger, Herald, is born. Chen drops out of high school.

1997: Appalled at the lack of law and order in the free economic zone, or the FEZ as people call it, the newly-elected President Ross creates the Marshal system. Recruiting some of the most famous masked heroes of the region, he funds the 'Rangers' initiative in order to stem the worst excesses of the Enhanced populace. Chen joins the army, gets a boyfriend. Mount Hood is one of the founding members of the Los Diablos Rangers, as is Sentinel.

1998: Chen is deployed overseas, SE Asia. Sentinel joins the Rangers.

1999: A breakthrough in energy technology leads to the first plasma reactors, leading to ever more compact cybernetics. Hollow Ground self-declares as the kingpin of Los Diablos. Chen's boyfriend is killed. Chen has an accident with an IED and loses his hands. His body proves to handle mods well, so apart from his hands the army invests in an access port for armor interface as well. Ortega has their accident and is used as a test subject for their cutting edge electrical mods and spinal column. Chen and Ortega meet in the hospital during rehab. Mount Hood becomes Marshal Hood of the Rangers.

2000: Intent on regaining lost influence, the US flexes its muscles in the Middle East. This leads to a series of proxy wars with the ailing Soviet Union. Chen gets deployed there, now piloting an armored suit instead of a helicopter. The first known sighting of a Re-Gene on the battlefield. Chen sees Re-Genes on the battlefield. Ortega debuts as Charge, sponsored by a military subcontractor because they want to see how the mods perform.

2001: Steel is sick of the army and what they are doing abroad. He has racked up enough commendations that he's considered a suitable candidate for the Rangers, equipped with a new, shiny armor. Meets up with Ortega again when they are both in for surgery upgrades, and Chen talks him into signing up for the Rangers. Ortega's father dies.

2002: Ortega joins the Rangers. Sentinel officially starts to transition, there's a lot of controversy that Hood shuts down. Sentinel is not fired.

2004: A huge scandal rocks the Re-Gene project after its operatives are suspected of human rights abuses in another proxy war in Panama. It is never brought to court as the Re-Genes themselves are androids with artificial minds, but the scandal moves the project back underground where it has remained ever since.

2005: The Special Directive is formed, rumored to be a black-ops strike team of Re-Genes, deployed against anyone deemed dangerous enough by the government.

2006: Anathema joins the Rangers. The Rangers team up with the Special Directive for a mission. It does not go frictionless.

2007: Ortega is promoted to Marshal after the death of Marshal Hood at the hands of Hollow Ground. Sunstream joins the Rangers.

2008: Sidestep debuts as a vigilante. Charge and Sidestep meet for the first time.

2009: Psychopathor is the villain headliner of that year until finally put to a stop by the Rangers and Sidestep. Dr. Mortum and the Vitruvian are active as villains, but not high key threats enough to be a target for the Rangers.

2010: The Catastrofiend goes on a year long rampage, tearing through the Marshal before disappearing again, a pattern that will be repeated over the years. Ashfall works closely with the Rangers, becoming another associate.

2011: Los Diablos is hit by the Nanosurge, a runaway nano-weapon devouring all flesh before it is contained by an alliance of heroes led by the Rangers. Sidestep plays a vital part in its defeat. Herald takes the hero drug and survives the boosting process. Psychopathor escapes. Sunstream quits the Rangers and disappears soon afterwards.

2012: The Void is looking to expand their Santa Ana territory into Los Diablos, and the Rangers strike back, leading to a final showdown in the southeast deserts.  Herald moves to Los Diablos. Dr. Mortum retires from active villain life, focusing on research.

2013: The Heartbreak incident occurs. Sidestep and Anathema are believed to be killed in action. Ortega retires as Marshal and hero, replaced by Steel. Sentinel and Herald meet.

2014: Ortega returns from retirement, joining the Rangers once more as Charge. Steel loses both his legs when he's nearly crushed under a building in the battle against the Catastrofiend that has resurfaced. The Catastrofiend gets securely locked up. Herald gets his first sponsorship (and name) as a corporate hero. Herald debits as a vigilante under a different name.

2015: Lady Argent debuts as a vigilante in San Francisco. Herald gets hired as a corporate hero, and gets his hero name.

2016: Lady Argent joins the Rangers. Steel nearly gets assassinated, losing an arm in the process. Sentinel retires. The Catastrofiend escapes, but disappears after a mercifully short rampage.

2017: The MC returns to Los Diablos under an assumed identity.

2018: Herald joins the Rangers.

2020: The events of Rebirth.

2021: The events of Retribution (the next book)

[bravadoseries]

Probably weird and hard, so take you time to answer, but if Audrey was canon in the comics, what changes would be made when adapting her character into a MCU? I mean stuff like the fact that Tony built his in Afghanistan in the movie when in the comic he did it in Vietnam.

this was such a fun question thank you so much!  i’m gonna separate this into two parts: audrey’s comics storyline and how her mcu adaptation is different.  so sorry this is so long! 

audrey rogers (later audrey lange and audrey banner) was introduced in the 1950s after captain america’s popularity declined and the war ended.  her original aging thing was that she aged pretty fast and then like maxed out when she was physically 18 or 20 (like the baby from twilight).  she was originally supposed to speak to teenage girls and other women to encourage them to embrace patriotism and reject communism, and she’s mentored by her father (since peggy’s originally written in the comics as a pretty minor character).  audrey is given her batons by howard stark but in the comics they’re much more torchlike (really emphasizing the whole lady liberty moniker).  

throughout the 50s and 60s, she’s got a dual-identity thing going on.  she’s audrey lange (nee rogers), a teacher married to Joshua Lange, her high school sweetheart and a young, good-hearted, all-american politician.  nobody knows about her identity except for her father, howard stark, and howard’s son tony.  

during the 60s, lady liberty and black widow are often portrayed as character foils and enemies.  lady liberty is sweet as apple pie, she likes to kiss babies and shake hands with senators and say things like God Bless America while the black widow is seductive, brutal, and most importantly—communist.  the two are each other’s biggest rivals for the beginning of their respective comics’ histories (ok i just watched killing eve and i am obsessed with it but i think they are usually trying to track each other down similarly to eve and villanelle).  idk if you watch glow but it’s like the zoya/liberty belle characters. that’s what’s going on. 

in the comics, lady liberty is responsible for helping black widow defect from the red room and join the American cause.  their first enemy together is julian bardot, who is selling nuclear tech to the highest bidder, and both of them want to discourage their respective organizations from purchasing nuclear bombs as the comics began to go into more anti-war propaganda.  audrey teams up with tony at this point and their comics characters become friends.  

during the vietnam war, the whole american propaganda thing was declining in popularity so they sent audrey to vietnam as a spy, where she was known as the angel of mercy.  after realizing that the war was a corrupt cause, she abandoned the angel of mercy title and began working as a vigilante with civil rights activist and empire state engineering student lindsey dubois, caroline, a secretary heavily implied to be gay (living with her close female friend and unmarried) who would become the vigilante ace of spades, chinese refugee and nurse claudia liau, and delphine lamontagne, a french exchange student who came to the US looking to find a scientist to help her understand her powers.  They specifically target human traffickers.  

At this point, Josh Lange becomes mayor of New York City, and the strain of audrey’s vigilantism and her unwillingness to have children leads their marriage to crumble.  they divorce and it’s a big comics thing (later, backlash causes marvel to try to retcon their marriage at all and say they were just engaged)  

lady liberty is written into the avengers in the 1970s again because she realizes that the vigilantism was too dangerous or something (i feel like realistically it’s just that sales were low for a diverse group of female heroes but whatever).  her storylines are based around that for a few years, however, after the marvel comics watergate, captain america abandons his title and becomes nomad and audrey abandons superhero work in favor of working as a lawyer (? i think).  

in the 1980s, audrey is written as working as a law professor at culver, where she meets bruce banner.  i don’t know a ton about hulk comics but i think he was permanently hulked out for the 70s and started gaining control in the 80s? pretty sure.  anyway audrey’s never met bruce before but he’s got a dual identity thing going on and she’s like You Really Seem Familiar.  when she figures out his dual identity a) they become romantically involved and b) she tries to get into hero work again.  

there was a lack of interest in her character as more than a love interest, though, so from the late 80s to ’91, audrey is kidnapped and brainwashed by hydra.  she’s given powers through hydra experimentation but refuses to use them unless forced to because they cause her immense pain.  she is activated through trigger words and known by the name Red Scare.  During this period, she serves as one of Captain America’s primary antagonists, but he doesn’t realize that Audrey is his daughter, he just thinks she’s dead.  

When the Soviet Union falls in 1991, Audrey is returned to the united states and begins working as a shield agent because of the intelligence she’d collected while abroad.  Josh Lange, now running for president of the United States, proposes to her in the late 90s and they marry, but Audrey begins to secretly undermine his political agenda once he’s elected due to his staunch anti-gifted stance and preference for order, no matter the cost.  Audrey is portrayed as an unsatisfied First Lady until 2005, when Tony Stark starts the New Avengers to help defeat the mass breakout of the Raft, a prison holding many supervillains.  Knowing she cannot just stand by, she leaves Joshua and commits to becoming a hero full time.  

During the Civil War comics arc, Audrey opposes the mandatory federal registration of super-powered beings due to her experience with politicians.  However, many oppose her presence in the movement for that very reason.  She and Bruce Banner attempt another romantic relationship, but he favors the registration act and they soon break up.  When her father attempts to surrender in order to stop the violence, she does so instead, knowing that she will be less of a loss to the movement.  

At the same time, the United States launches Hulk into space (idk this was a real thing with the whole planet hulk arc) and Thor, wanting to help turn Hulk back into banner, breaks Audrey free from prison and brings her to Sakaar.  She helps him turn back into Bruce and the two actually begin a romantic relationship, with him seeing where the registration act got him (Launched Into Space).  When they return to Earth, Audrey and Bruce both decide to retire from hero work and open a school not for mutants but for other powered people which becomes a rival to charles xavier’s school.  

From there, it’s a bunch of sporadic storylines.  I think at some point she may become director of SHIELD when Steve is president?  Because I know that was like a thing in the 70s. audrey’s powers are connected to thanos in a way that’s spoilery so I won’t go too into detail but when he pops up with the infinity stones arc, she plays a part in that.  

anyway!

So there’s a lot of differences between the hypothetical movies and the hypothetical comics but i think obviously the biggest is Audrey’s backstory and aging.  Since she ages slowly and was without Steve’s guidance, she grew up isolated and protected from the rest of the world.  Audrey’s personality at the beginning is supposed to be reminiscent of her personality as the initial Lady Liberty—very sweet and positive and very much a character foil to Natasha, but instead of Audrey recruiting Natasha to SHIELD and helping her become a hero, it’s the other way around.  Obviously Peggy’s role is very different, too, as is Josh’s (he’s a much more minor character in the films than in the comics).  

The first Lady Liberty film adapts her transition from more of a hollow, symbolic hero to someone who is directly involved in the fight.  There’s also references to her Red Scare arc except it’s the 60s and not the 90s.  Here, we also have reference to Natasha and Audrey fighting Julian Bardot and his weapons, but removed from the Cold War context and instead shifted to the post-Chitauri circumstances.  Delphine is also introduced, though not as a vigilante at this point or as a student but as a capable DGSE agent.  The setup here is for her to have her own adventures eventually I think.  

A lot of the changes have to do with the order of things.  Because the MCU takes place over a decade and not like 50 years, things get switched around.  TWS and AOU are both more modern plotlines that got reinvented and brought into the MCU.  I think I’m probably gonna be changing the Civil War conflict to add more of the comics element to it as well.  

Audrey’s vigilante team storyline, though unpopular at the time of its original publication, works better now, so it’s brought back for the second Lady Liberty film, which is set after Civil War.  Audrey at this point is much more brutal and has lost faith in the system similarly to how she lost faith in the system because of Vietnam.  Audrey never becomes a lawyer, but she does have a reunion with Bruce post CW during the MCU equivalent of Planet Hulk because (though unlike the comics he went by choice) he got launched into space.  Audrey’s involvement in this storyline is much more accidental in the movies than in the comics.  

I think also unlike the comics, Audrey doesn’t use her powers more because she feels unnatural when she does and not because it physically hurts.  She also loses control.  The movies also more specifically detail how where her powers came from.  

The third Lady Liberty film, resurrection, is a movie that covers Audrey, Thanos, and more of her outer space adventures lol.  And the next gen TV series, which primarily just features guest appearances from the Avengers, adapts the idea of the Avengers Academy.  

thank you so much again for this ask sorry it got so long i had so much fun answering it !!!

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of DC: Week of March 18th, 2020

Best of this Week: Robin 80th Anniversary

All of the Robins are awesome.

Every Bat-fan has their favorite as they usually define the era when they began their love of Batman and comics in general. Older fans love Dick Grayson for being the first and greatest Robin that helped make Batman brighter. Edgy 80s kids and teens both love and hate Jason Todd for being the bad boy that died. Younger fans love Tim Drake for being the one to carry the name in the later seasons of the animated series and being one of the best and smartest Robins. Girls get representation from the spunky Carrie Kelly and the awesome Stephanie Brown. No one like Damian. (I’m kidding, he’s super fun.)

There’s a Robin for everyone and this 100 Page Spectacular celebrates the long history of Batman’s greatest sidekicks (though misses a chance to give Carrie Kelly her own short story) and does an amazing job in displaying each characters personalities by some of the best people to have written them over the years. Because there are so many, I’m only going to talk about the ones I really enjoyed!

The first FOUR stories follow Dick Grayson and some of his best eras.

“A Little Nudge” is written by Marv Wolfman with pencils by Tom Grummett, two parts of the legendary team behind the best years of the New Titans (1989). This story follows Dick Grayson as Batman begins to nudge him in the direction of becoming his own man by being increasingly irritable to his protege. At this point in time, Dick was dealing with the stresses of outgrowing his childhood identity and Batman’s continuing overbearing nature. Where Bruce was all about being cold and methodical, Dick thought with his gut.

Grummett, Scott Hanna on inks and Adriano Lucas on colors illustrate Dick’s frustration through his increasingly sour facial expressions and sudden heroic actions. The costumes are as colorful as those old days with Dick wearing the bright yellow cape, bright red tunic and the elf shoes. In the middle of the dynamic duo’s fight with Natural History Museum thieves, Dick stops fighting when a child gets shot, against Bruce’s orders, and stays with him until the bad guys either get away or get taken down by Batman. 

Later on, Dick tells Batman that he’s outgrown the Boy Wonder name and sets off to become his own man as Nightwing. Wolfman gives readers an excellent inner monologue from Bruce where he owns up to the fact that he was nudging Dick in that direction because he had just turned eighteen and Bruce believed in him. Batman always supports his kids, especially his first and it turns the story of separation into something heartwarming.

“Aftershocks” is a fun story by Chuck Dixon and Scott McDaniel who worked on my favorite Nightwing series in the 1996 - 2005 era of the character. This wasn’t anything major, just Nightwing doing everything he could to save people after an earthquake causes massive damage to a suspended bridge in Bludhaven. This era of Nightwing was characterized by him mostly striking out on his own and becoming a Bludhaven police officer, being inspired by Jim Gordon. 

Dick really came into his own and developed a rogues gallery to himself during this time, not to mention the sweet costume with the blue “wings” running down his arms into his fingers and those big, bulky gauntlets and boots. This era was the epitome of the 90s with big set piece moments, big muscles and Nightwing just being a nice and generally charming guy. After diving off of the bridge to attach a winch to a falling car, the woman inside asks to name her baby after him and he smiles and says, “Robin works, right?”

“The Lesson Plan” is a story from my favorite modern age creators in Tim Seeley, Tom King and Mikel Janin. The Grayson series took place shortly after Dick’s identity was exposed to the world during “Forever Evil” (2013) by the Crime Syndicate. At this time he was acting as a spy for an agency called Spyral while spying on them for Batman. I never think of Tom King as a comedy guy, but this story was almost gut bustingly hilarious. It was just a world trotting adventure where he teaches one of the students of St. Hadrian’s how to be a spy.

Truly this series was Dick at his most handsome, witty and skilled. He jumps out of a helicopter and grabs onto the cords of a cable car before rescuing a woman held hostage by terrorists on walruses. Dick, the student and the hostage ten fight off more terrorists in Tanzania, riding a bus headed for Los Angeles of all places before Dick finds himself in something Dejah Thoris would wear and having a night with the hostage who reveals herself to be a gorilla from Gorilla City. It’s absolutely absurd, but it is immensely fun and welcome since that whole series is well regarded by fans.  

“More Time” by Judd Winick, Dustin Nguyen and John Kalisz is a far more somber tale about Jason Todd potentially a short time after the events of Under the Red Hood. Jason Todd was the second Robin and met his unfortunate end in the 1988 story, A Death in the Family by Jim Starlin and Jim Aparo. Jason eventually returned in the Batman: Under the Hood story where Winick and Doug Mahnke re-envisioned the former Robin as a violent vigilante Jason does have something of a strained relationship with Batman, but it wasn’t always that way as this story illustrates. 

One thing that Dustin Nguyen has always been great at, it’s making kids super adorable and he does so in this story as it flips back and forth between the past and the present as Jason gives Bruce a birthday present in the form of his father’s watch, which Jason sought to fix. Nguyen and Kalisz characterize the past with Jason appearing as a happy, young kid under the dim lights of the Batcave and a twinkle in his eyes. He’s happy to have a home and a father to care for him so he wanted to do something nice for him.

Present Day Jason is characterized by dark backgrounds with bright oranges, smoke and heavy blacks for the shadows. Jason is far more tired, grizzled and angry, but he still finds the time to place the same gift box from all those years ago on the Batmobile for Bruce to find. At this point in time, they may have been at each other throats, but the love between them was still there, buried deep - culminating in two side by side panels of past and present Jason saying, “Happy Birthday, Bruce.”

“Boy Wonders” is a story about Tim Drake by James Tynion IV, Javier Fernandez and David Baron and sees Tim taking advice from all of his brothers. Next to Chuck Dixon and Geoff Johns, James Tynion IV has had one of the longest lasting impacts on the Tim Drake character throughout his run on Detective Comics by emphasizing the power of his mind in comparison to the other Robins and why he could ultimately be the successor to Batman above each of them or eke out a new life for himself.

While taking down the cast of The Warriors on a speeding train with Nightwing, Tim contemplates what his future will be. He looks to Dick as the one who did everything that he’s doing now and Dick tells him that as the smartest Robin, the best thing he could do is use that mind to bring up the next generation of heroes. Jason, the reason he’s even wearing the costume of Robin in the first place, tells him to take everything he’s learned from Batman  to become BETTER than him. Arguably, it’s Damian that gives him the best advice by telling him that he’s the most capable of all of the Robins and that he should choose a path himself instead of relying on the advice of others.

Of course, this story takes place before the events of Detective Comics Rebirth where Tim does chart his own path in making Gotham safer with his Gotham Knights Protocol, but things don’t exactly turn out well for him. For all of the talk about how Tim is the smartest, he unfortunately could never get out of his own way long enough for things to go right...especially now that he’s going by “Drake” in that awful brown costume.

“Fitting In” is a Stephanie Brown story by Amy Wolfram, Damion Scott and Brad Anderson which sees Stephanie trying to live up to the standards of each of the boys that came before her. Stephanie was absolutely the shortest term Robin that Batman took on, as he only allowed her to take up the mantle in an attempt to get Tim back after his real father told him to hang up the cape after discovering his sons identity.

Even still, Stephanie did everything she could to earn Bruce’s respect and Wolfram plays on this and that past story by making it more about Tim than Steph. She has to train in the same costume that Tim did, but she proves more...voluptuous than Tim. Her costume bursts at the seams and Alfred designs the costume that she’s known for. She and Batman then get a call about fire at an amusement park and ride off to take down Firefly.

Unfortunately for her, she gets captured, but being the innovative girl that she is, she manages to free herself and take down Firefly at the same time. Damion Scott’s art is very well suited to the cartoonish action and paints her as a capable sidekick despite initially being a damsel in distress. I honestly wish her run as Robin would have been longer because she honestly fits well in the role as the bubbly Robin in contrast to the hell that Tim was going through at the time.

A point can be made that this story also had some needless sexualization, but given Bruce's lack of respect for Stephanie and him just wanting a replacement Tim at the time, this was well written from that perspective. He never cared for Stephanie and her time as Robin was mostly her trying to live up to Tim's standard which eventually left her to try too hard and "die" because of it. I’ll always take more Stephanie Brown as I can cause even now there’s not enough of her and I’m damn sure not reading Young Justice by Brian Michael Bendis.

“My Best Friend” is the one that makes me the most sad as it revolves around Jon Kent writing an essay on Damian as well...his best friend. I feel like the Super Sons series was also done a dity hand by BMB as he took Jon and aged him up for his Superman story when we could have gotten more fun stories between Damian and Jon. As far as homages to one of the better Rebirth series this one was just fun.

There’s not much to say other than Jon reminisces over a few of their adventures and tells readers about the side of Damian that we don’t often see because the Bat-boy is always a little bit too intense. Jon reminds us that they’ve fought for most of the time they’ve known each other, but when it comes to being heroes, Damian always had his back. It’s heartwarming. Of course there’s the continuity issue of them going to the same school in this story cause Jon was only ten at the time and Damian was thirteen, but honestly I only care about the friendship.

“Bat and Mouse” is a story by Robbie Thompson and Ramon Villalobos which sees Bruce and Damian having separate brooding inner monologues about how neither understands the other anymore and about how they want to open up to each other, but the distance between them has grown too wide. Admittedly, this is a much darker story in the respect that Batman and Robin haven’t really been the same since Damian started his new Titans team and started down a darker path that his father has yet to find out about.

Thompson captures this feeling that Damian is arrogant but scared. He feels like he’s outgrown what Batman has become because he’s willing to get rid of threats almost permanently through erasing their memories and villainous tendencies (see Teen Titans, 2018). At the same time, he’s afraid that maybe what he’s doing isn’t the right path and he so desperately wants to reach out to his father, but feels like he can’t.

Batman is the same way in that he loves his son more than anything and wants to regain the relationship that they had in the past, but doesn’t know how to say the words either. He knows that Damian is hiding something big, but he doesn’t want to accuse the boy and deepen the already cavernous rift. Even as they take down the robotic villain Quietus, they show signs of breaking through their equally cold exteriors, but fail to do so and I get the feeling this will all come to a head soon.

The Robins will always be some of my favorite characters in all of comics. Each of them have distinct personalities and quirks that set them apart from a lot of comic characters, especially when it comes to the trauma that they’ve faced alongside Batman. This special won’t be for everyone, just like each era of Robin isn’t for everyone, but overall, I really enjoyed it and the creators selected to honor these fantastic characters.

[shenmeizhuang-blog]

Do you have any cdrama suggestions for a baby beginner? I think Empress of China is the most famous one I’ve heard of but I’m curious about others too!

B-baby beginner? No, my friend, when it comes to cdrama, we simply throw you into the pit…

Just kidding! Although, for a myriad of reasons, being a Chinese drama fan outside of Asia without a hold of the language is admittedly rather difficult (so to the “international” cdrama fandom: you guys rock!). 

Unfortunately, your answer did not really help me narrow down my answer after all. I believe Moonlight Drawn By Clouds, your recent fave, is very romance-centric, but I feel like everyone tends to vacillate in their mood, preferring super romantic escapism one minute and demanding tight storytelling the next. Anyway, I’ll stop rambling and actually get to the point:

personal recs, in general*

I just couldn’t really “categorize” these?

peace hotel (2018): currently in the midst of watching this still, but I’m really enjoying this! honestly. especially with how the female chars (most of the chars are written.) it’s this mix between super suspenseful espionage and really cathartic humor. the plot twists are also so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

let’s shake it! (2017): alien crashlands to the tang dynasty! it’s super cute and quirky, but there’s also a strong, coherent plot and some angst in the latter parts. definitely one of my faves of last year, though it’s punny sense of humor doesn’t always get through. it’s also very appreciatively meta ;) the subs apparently aren’t complete, as my friend complained to me, but I personally find the language real simple

medical examiner dr. qin (2016): the interactions between the crime-solving trio are gold. also, like the only modern show here?? (as you can tell, I am really mostly a period show watcher.)

go princess go (2015-16): it’s really low-budget and cracky, but trust me, there’s a reason it went viral. zhang tian ai does feel like the saving grace a lot of the time though, and I didn’t exactly give it a high score, but it just might be your thing. who knows?

nirvana in fire (2015): i don’t think it’s the best c-drama ever, unlike a lot of people on this site, but it’s still a very solid show. I also find it a lot more shoujo than most fans—it’s really not just a revenge-political drama—but when it was emotionally gripping, boy, it was emotionally gripping. 

wuxin: the monster killer (2015): technically only season 1—I have yet to see s2—but weirdly enough, I found the poignant ending especially fitting. just assume from the title? yue qiluo is one of the more interesting villains out there, and gosh I just adore yueya so much

bu bu jing xin (2011): extremely poignant, complex look into polymagy/patriarchy during the qing dynasty from the lens of time-traveller zhang xiao who takes the identity of court lady ruoxi. even if you don’t ship any of the romances, it is so worth it for pretty much everything else. but if you do, obviously also an extremely heart-wrenching watch. a lot of people’s first cdrama. 

schemes of a beauty (2010): lots of spying, secret chambers, poison, women control the men. 

*I would want to recommend The Legend of Zhen Huan and The Glory Of Tang Dynasty, but they’re 76 episodes and 92 episodes long, respectively. Content-wise, it’s also stuff that requires lots of trigger warnings, and overall just not for the “baby beginner”. Battle of Changsha is definitely shorter, and a definite recommendation, but also just not for the “baby beginner.” 

no dubbing 

(Peace Hotel, Battle of Changsha, NiF, Medical Examiner Dr. Qin)

the advisors’ alliance (2017) + growling tiger, roaring dragon (2017-18): a mix of no dubbing and some dubbing. it’s a pretty creative to take the viewpoint of sima yi in this three kingdoms historical piece. I feel that it’s rather accessible to viewers, honestly, and the production values are great on this one. 

nothing gold can stay (2017): only 4 eps in—it’s very solid so far (74 eps though, but I would say quite mainstream and easy to watch)

ten miles of spring wind can’t compare to you (2017): do I really want to rec this though? in the end, I really did wish I had someone to vent about this to and discuss with about, because in a lot of ways this really did give lots of food for thought. let’s just say that our three main chars are deliberately rather fatally flawed…and I still feel rather ambivalent about how to feel about this. (the first 10-15 eps are super cute, meta, adorable but also with great sexual tension and then it sort of goes to melodrama but anyway…) you could at least practice your chinese? it is harder than the average modern cdrama, given how pretentious qiu shui can get

shoujo period romances

We all have a soft spot for these :’)

sound of the desert (2014): just yesterday, there was quite a lot of discourse on this show on my dash, interestingly. female lead xin yue (liu shi shi) is raised by a wolf pack, though she eventually enters the capital city sometime during the han dynasty. she does at first fall for a crippled, broody flute player played by hu ge (imo one of his more lackluster roles) but it’s her chemistry with HAWT general wei wuji (eddie peng

female prime minister/legend of lu zhen (2013): again, freakishly sizzling chemistry. it focuses more on lu zhen rising up the ranks as lower-level female ministers, but mostly still very very romance-centric. (the otp falling-out in the last 10 eps or so was kind of stupid, I will admit, and also 200% all on gao zhan but it had such a strong addictive quality to it.)

gong/jade palace lockheart (2011): I haven’t seen Boys Over Flowers/the Japanese original/any official remakes of whatever that is, but a lot of people have called it Boys Over Flowers + modern girl time travels to the Qing Dynasty + 9-prince succession conflict during Kangxi’s reign. it was rather stupid and petty at times, but it’s more comedic and the romance is super addicting. I don’t care about the half-bald Qing queues at all, and this is actually one of the only roles that I’ve found Feng Shaofeng attractive in. (yes, it is possible to love bbjx and enjoy this)

Oh yeah, and all these end all happily and fairytale-like. None of the above would qualify as my “faves” at all, but all are very accessible to someone unfamiliar with cdrama and love the Romance and the Pretty. 

others (I found rather lackluster or dropped): Perfect Couple, The Eternal Love (very popular among international audiences, but not for me), General and I, Oh My General 

wuxias/xianxias

This is just going to be an embarrassing amount of childhood nostalgia. Like, literally, with the exception of the first one, I watched all of these in elementary school, with varying amounts of rewatching in between. The recent wuxias and xianxias just haven’t been to my liking. (I could get into how NiF takes lots of wuxia elements but I would just confuse you a lot so, strictly on the more fantasy/action side of things here.) I simply haven’t watched Eternal Love/Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms (very, very popular) at all. I’m sorry. 

vigilantes in masks/strange hero yi zhi mei (2011): I believe the international equivalent is “Iljimae”? It’s like Robin Hood, sort of, but mostly Liu Shi Shi’s Yan Sanniang is so amazing here. 

chinese paladin 3 (2009)

return of the condor heroes (2006)

chinese paladin (2005)

lotus lantern (2005)

also 武林外传, which is 80 eps, but kind of more like a wuxia sitcom way back in the day. there’s in-show ppls, tons of modern references, etc. and also like lots of satire/social commentary. I did a rewatch (of brief clips ofc, I don’t have that much time) recently, and realized I missed so much when I watched it with the family back then. (I’m kind of embarrassed about the more lewd references…lol…)

*line break*

Whew! Anyway, the takeaway is, there is a lot of stuff to choose from, and I definitely left out a lot of stuff. There’s also a lot of modern cdramas. This answer might clarify about those shows. 

(that being said, I really personally would not recommend empress of china. I mean, aside from 96 eps, just 2 eps in I could tell it was going to be an unsubstantial mess >_

[allimariexf]

alli’s Arrow 1x05 rewatch thoughts

all random thoughts:

Still doing voiceovers, I see. I think this might actually be the last one ever. Thank goodness.

I find it interesting that Oliver’s like, “She knows me better than anyone. She knows I could never be this vigilante guy.” Hmm. Okay, Oliver...so you’re admitting that no one actually knows the real you, including Laurel.

DAYUM Moira used the “my son is smitten with you” line to manipulate Laurel into representing Oliver!

The invitations will say: “Come before Oliver Queen gets off” okay LMAO how have I never noticed the sexual implications of that line before?? I guess because he says it so innocently, and in front of him mom lol. But, I mean...yeah.

The scene where Dig comes to Oliver’s bedroom and they discuss vigilante-related stuff is actually a really cool moment. This is the first time they’re actually working as a team. It’s interesting that they’re not more awkward, and it’s cool how quickly they gel as partners in the mission. Dig doesn’t really blink - once he joins up, he’s all in. And then when he goes into the foundry on his own and really gets a look, that’s basically the only time we ever see him impressed.

Ughhh Oliver “looking at life in prison” with “family, friends, people who care about him” so “don’t think for one second that [he’s] the only person with something to lose here…” it’s so painful :( Because after everything, after 6 years, after so much character growth, and death, and the development of so many important relationships, somehow we’re right back here again.

Aaaand i’mma skip the torture scene. Fyers is so freaking annoying though. “You’re a poor liar.” (first time someone’s said that, of many times.)

MY GOD THE GREY SWEATER.

Polygraph scene. All I can think is: HEART RATE lolol 😭 oh no, Lance 😭😭😭 Mmmkay this scene is still moving.

Dig: “I’m the one guy you don’t lie to!” TELL HIM, DIG. I don’t think Oliver really internalizes it, though.

Laurel just walked in and I suddenly remembered that they’re going to have that gross kiss scene in Oliver’s bedroom. I just...can’t. “In the end, there was something I wanted more.” OLIVER GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF. YOUR FIXATION ON LAUREL IS UNHEALTHY AND SO IS HERS ON YOU.

Why is the last time Laurel was in his room 2005? When he left on the boat in 2007? 🤨

Meanwhile Oliver’s really lucky that Lance got Merlyn’s assassin with a killshot - would have been awkward for everyone if that guy got arrested instead.

Laurel: “Oliver, nothing can ever happen between us.” Oliver: “I know.” EXACTLY. Stick to that!

Dig: “When you were stuck on that island, plotting your grand plan to save the city, I don’t think you stopped to consider the effect it would have on the people in your life. Or how it might hurt them” Meh. This has always been Oliver’s struggle, but he has made huge strides - and then the writers sometimes conveniently choose to forget those strides. 😑

@jules85 @blondeeoneexox @hope-for-olicity @memcjo

[phantom-le6]

Episode Reviews - Batman: The Animated Series Season 1 (2 of 10)

Continuing our foray into the iconic Batman: The Animated Series, here’s a second round of episodes from the show’s first season.

Episode 8: The Forgotten

Plot (as given by me):

When Bruce Wayne learns homeless people and volunteer workers are disappearing on the streets of Gotham, he decides to investigate.  Rather than doing so as Batman, however, he disguises himself as part of Gotham’s homeless community.  Later that evening, Bruce is accosted in an alley, managing to beat two of his assailants before a third knocks him out with a blow to the back of the head. Bruce later wakes in a bunkhouse alongside a number of fellow abductees, and finds he cannot remember who he is.

 Back at Wayne Manor, Alfred discovers his master’s absence and begins an investigation into his whereabouts.  Back at the bunk house, it is revealed that a gangster known as Boss Biggis has been abducted the homeless of Gotham and forcing them to work as slave labour in gold mines somewhere outside the city. Anyone who misbehaves is put into a sweat box, one of several cramped metal boxes with poor ventilation under the sun’s full glare.

 Bruce makes friends with two of his fellow bunk-mates and recalls aspects of his former life in dreams, while elsewhere Alfred tracks the one car missing from Wayne Manor to a scrap yard.  He transfers the car’s tracking device to a lorry that he deduces to be connected to Bruce Wayne’s disappearance.  Back at the mines, Wayne and one of his friends are placed in the boxes after defending their friend from being subjected to the same fate.  During his time in the box, Bruce’s memory finally returns, and he uses his skills as Batman to escape the box and the prison camp.

 Alfred, meanwhile, has managed to pilot the Batwing to Bruce’s location, and narrowly manages to land the aircraft in a position to meet his master.  Bruce then returns to the prison camp as Batman, defeating Biggis and his men in a battle that goes into the mines and ends up blowing them sky high.  Back in Gotham, Bruce’s fellow captives learn who he is as he offers them jobs to help them out of poverty.

Review:

This is the third episode in a row where we’ve ended up with a show that puts a certain concept over setting Batman up against one of his repeat adversaries.  First, we had “The Underdwellers”, which focused on Batman’s empathy for children and gave us one-off villain the Sewer King, then we had “P.O.V”, which was about varying character perspectives and didn’t even name the key criminal involved.  With this episode, the character of Boss Biggis is a footnote against the episode’s main concept, which is if Batman was to lose his memory while out of costume, could he still function and save himself without his costume, gadgets, etc.

 The answer that the show puts forward, and that the Batman demands, is yes; this guy spent years from the day his parents were shot to the day he first created his Batman persona training for a career as an urban vigilante.  To that end, he would have undertaken various forms of survival training that would enable him to cope in harsh situations with few to now resources.  As such, it’s very much plausible, and even to some extent expected, that in the situation this episode lays out, Bruce Wayne’s survival training would kick in and help him out.  Yes, he employs a lot of gadgets and fancy toys at times, but these only work so well because of the man who uses them being so skilled.

 In addition, this is the first episode to show us Batman using a civilian identity other than that of Bruce Wayne.  This is a feature of the comics not many adaptations really delve into, even though some comic stories have heavily revolved around it.  A key example is the 2004-2005 Batman cross-over arc War Games, in which a gang war erupts in Gotham because aspiring teen vigilante Stephanie Brown tried to enact a contingency plan that would only work if you knew Batman had other civilian aliases.

 We also get to see the equally rare sight of Bruce really trying to make a difference to the poor in Gotham; it’s something he does a lot via Wayne Enterprises and the Wayne Foundation, but it’s often only in series like this that there’s any screen-time given to it. Overall, this is a good episode, but the lack of any members from Batman’s gallery of rogues means it falls a bit short of greatness.  That said, at least it avoids the cliché of Batman needing another whack to the head to get his memory back.  I’d give it 7 out of 10.

Episode 9: Be A Clown

Plot (as given by me):

A clash between escaping felons and the Batman interrupts a speech Mayor Hill was giving to the Gotham press about law and order. He resumes his speech by saying he will remove all who don’t follow the law from Gotham, stating that vigilantes like Batman are no different from criminal lunatics like the Joker. However, the clown prince of crime is watching and takes exception to the comparison.  When Hill claims he will make all of Gotham as safe as his own mansion, the Joker takes this as a challenge to see just how safe the mayor’s mansion is.

 The mansion is being used to host a birthday party for the mayor’s son Jordan, but it is mostly a photo-op for Mayor Hill with little to no provision made for Jordan himself.  All the children invited are the children of the mayor’s friends rather than anyone Jordan knows, and at first it seems nothing has been arranged by way of activities that the magic-loving boy would like.  However, Jordan is delighted when “Jecko the clown” arrives to entertain him and the other guests, while his father is less amused.

 Bruce Wayne later arrives, just in time to see Jordan run off when he loses his temper over his father making the party all about himself instead of his son.  “Jecko” leaves soon after, but his laugh makes Bruce realise “Jecko” is actually the Joker, who has left behind a sparkler-candle explosive.  Feigning clumsiness, Bruce manages to knock the birthday cake into the pool before it explodes.  The police soon arrive and find the real Jecko had been mugged and tied up down the road.  It then turns out Jordan is missing.

 Jordan, following advice from the fake Jecko, has run away to learn magic from the clown.  Revealing this to the Joker at his hideout, Joker begins trying to school Jordan in tricks while still pretending to be Jecko.  When Batman arrives, however, the Joker manages to capture him and trap him in an escape-proof variant of the famous water torture trap.  When Jordan realises it’s not a trick, he tries to free Batman, resulting in the Joker finally revealing his deception.  Jordan flees and the Joker pursues, enabling Batman to free himself thanks to the damage Jordan causes to the water tank.

 Both the Joker and Batman find each other and Jordan at the roller coaster of the amusement park Joker has been hiding out in. Joker starts the ride and hurls exploding dolls at Batman to try and stop him.  However, Batman manages to avoid injury from the explosions and the Joker ultimately falls out of the ride into some nearby water.  Jordan is scared of Batman, but overcomes this fear when it turns out the coaster track is damaged and Batman is his only hope of survival.  Batman then returns Jordan home to his father, who apologises for monopolising the lad’s birthday party for his own political gain.

Review:

On the first disc of the blu-ray version of this animated series, this is the third Joker episode done, which shows just how much the show-makers must have either loved the character or wanted to play to the popularity of Tim Burton’s first Batman film.  Apparently, the episode sprang from the idea of Batman trying to save a child who is scared of him, but you see so little of that in this episode that you’d barely get that it was the seed of the whole thing.  To my mind, the episode was more an object lesson to parents and to child viewers who would one day be parents.  That object lesson is not so much about what I believe the Americans term “stranger danger”, but more about not using your child for your own purposes instead of being there for them as parents.

 We clearly see throughout the whole birthday party scene that the mayor is taking his son for granted and over-riding the entire party for his political gain.  To one degree or another, I think most parents can be tempted to do this kind of thing, to make a child’s life about themselves, and occasionally that is acceptable.  Introducing them to books, TV shows, films and music that you like as a parent, for example, or trying to give them the opportunities you’d wished for and never got as a child.  However, to take over in a way that is all about you and doesn’t consider them at all, such as choosing a stupid and embarrassing name or using them as a prop to advance any aspect of your own life, that is as vile and reprehensible as anything someone like the Joker might do.

 For parents like Mayor Hill, it seems they often fail to recognise that their children are people and not property, and that as people they have their own thoughts, their own feelings, their own rights that need to be respected.  In this story, Mayor Hill is lucky he’s got Batman around to save his son so he can act on realising this to mend his way.  Not everyone is so fortunate.  Taken as such a cautionary tale, set against the classic back-drop of a Batman versus Joker story that is certainly better than the first two, I’d say this is another early classic in a generally classic animated series.  End score, 10 out of 10.

Episode 10: Two-Face (Part 1)

Plot (as given by me):

District Attorney Harvey Dent and Commissioner Gordon oversee a police raid on a criminal gang with ties to organised crime boss Rupert Thorne.  The gang initially manages to hold the police off with heavy ordnance, but a stealth incursion by Batman routs the gang, enabling the police to move in and successfully complete the raid.  While Dent is addressing the press, one of the crooks heckles him and kicks mud at Dent. To everyone’s shock, Dent goes berserk, almost beating up the handcuffed hood before being snapped out of his rage. Dent is as surprised and shocked by this as Gordon and the press.  Elsewhere, Thorne orders his associates to try and dig up dirt on Dent, who is in the process of running for re-election as District Attorney.

 At a campaign event at Wayne Manor, Harvey has another rage attack when he learns a judge has thrown out the indictment against Thorne’s men on a technicality.  Bruce tries to intercede and is almost on the receiving end of his friend’s wrath, and only the intervention of Harvey’s fiancé Grace snaps him back to reality.  In private, Harvey and Grace admit to Bruce that Harvey is seeing a psychiatrist, which Bruce applauds and agrees to keep secret at Harvey’s request.  Later, Harvey goes to see his psychologist.  It turns out Harvey suppressed his anger as a child due to feeling guilty about them, resulting in the emergence of a second personality known as ‘Big Bad Harv’.  The personality is growing stronger, but Harvey refuses to admit himself to any kind of mental hospital in case it damages his re-election.  He instead opts to increase his therapy sessions and reduce his campaigning for a while.

 Unfortunately, Thorne’s right-hand woman Candace has overheard Harvey’s therapy session, and manages to steal his file for Thorne.  On the night of the DA election, Thorne calls Harvey and insists they meet, unless Harvey is willing to have Thorne release the details of his mental illness to the press.  Harvey leaves, but Bruce spots this and decides to follow as Batman. At a chemical plant, Thorne informs his gang in front of Dent that the DA’s guilt over feeling angry began when Dent hit back against the bully, and the bully later wound up in hospital (albeit for appendicitis, but Dent didn’t know this at the time).

 Thorne threatens to expose Dent’s mental health issues unless Dent agrees to aid Thorne and his men in evading punishment for their criminal activities.  The stress of this causes Dent’s other personality to rise, and ‘Big Bad Harv’ goes berserk on Thorne’s men, forcing the observing Batman to intervene.  In the ensuing scuffle, Thorne attempts to flee with Dent’s file and Dent pursues.  Their chase takes them to an array of catwalks over some chemical vats. Gunfire from one of Thorne’s men that is deflected from Dent by Batman causes some live electrical wires to fall into one of the chemical vats, causing an explosion that injures Dent, badly scarring one side of his face.

 Dent is rushed to hospital, and while Thorne wonders if he is truly rid of Dent, Bruce worries over the possible mental scars the accident will have caused.  Later, Dent’s face is unbandaged, and despite being told the facial scarring can repaired surgically, he asks to see a mirror.  Horrified at his own appearance, Dent howls in anguish, a sound which is heard by his fiancé grace in the corridor.  Seeing Dent’s scarred face in the lightning-lit corridor as he flees his room, Grace faints.  Dent quietly bids Grace farewell and flees through a nearby window.

Review:

When it comes to Two-Face, I usually prefer his first appearance in a film or TV series to have some build-up, and to date I think this series has the best build-up of what I’ve seen so far.  By comparison, Joel Schumacher’s Batman Forever version (played by Tommy-Lee Jones) was all done through back-story so you didn’t get to empathise with the character’s tragedy, while the Aaron Eckhart version from Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight didn’t give any hint of Harvey’s prior mental health problems.  The animated series, on the other hand, gives us the right sort of build-up.

 From start to finish, you really can feel for Harvey; he’s a guy trying so hard to be good and do the right thing that he’s developed a dual personality disorder, and instead of people leaving him alone to get the help he needs, they just pile on the problems until things take a really tragic turn.  When Harvey screams in the final scene of part 1, I for one can really feel and empathise with the anguish he must feel in that moment.  Considering no live-action version of the character has had that impact on me to date, that speaks to just how good the voice acting and overall writing in this show was, and how high it was setting the bar for later superhero animated series to try and clear.

 There’s nothing I can fault this episode on, and even as just a part 1 I can’t find it in me to mark it down any for somehow being an incomplete story.  For me, this episode warrants a full 10 out of 10.

Episode 11: Two-Face (Part 2)

Plot (as given by me):

Six months after the events of Part 1, Dent has become Two-Face, a criminal in his own right obsessed with duality, chance and exacting revenge against Rupert Thorne.  During this time, he has been hitting Thorne’s business interests with the assistance of twin henchmen Max and Min.  When faced with any decision, Two-Face flips a double-headed silver dollar, one side of which is scarred.  While he and his henchmen knock over a betting shop owned by Thorne, the coin-toss is used to decide against his men taking a ring off someone, though Dent is not averse to them stealing a box of silver dollars along with other denominations of money.

 While Thorne puts a bounty of $2 million on Dent ($1 million a face), Bruce is having nightmares about having failed Harvey, and vows to save his friend at any cost.  In a bid to win the bounty, Candace poses as a policewoman and gives Harvey’s ex-fiancé Grace a tracking device, claiming they want to get to Harvey to protect him.  Elsewhere, Harvey is missing Grace, but a coin toss makes him decide against reaching out to her, opting instead to stop humiliating Thorne and start taking him down. At the Batcave, Batman deduces this is what Harvey’s next move will be.

 Two-Face and his men raid the offices of Thorne’s lawyer and find a file detailing all of the crime boss’ illegal dealings. Batman arrives and tries to stop them, but his friendship with Harvey means they’re able to beat him and escape. As they do so, Two-Face makes another coin-flip and opts to reach out to Grace, calling her and sending his men to collect her.  Fearing for Harvey, Grace activates the transmitter, while elsewhere Thorne learns of the theft of his file and rages about it possibly reaching the police. Discovering that Grace has activated the transmitter, Candace suggests they might just be lucky.

 Grace is taken to Harvey’s hide-out and pleads for the man she loves to abandon his life as Two-Face.  Unfortunately, Thorne and his men arrive straight after, knocking out Two-Face’s men.  Two-Face is forced to hand over Thorne’s file to avoid Grace being killed, but then Thorne prepares to shoot Two-Face.  Batman arrives in time to prevent this, and a brief battle ensues that ends with Thorne at Two-Face’s mercy.  As the scarred former DA makes a coin toss for Thorne’s life, Batman seizes the box of silver dollars and hurls them into the air.  This causes Harvey to lose track of his own coin, sending him into a meltdown without it.  Later, as Dent is taken away by the police, Batman tosses a coin into a nearby fountain, wishing luck for his friend.

Review:

Where part 1 is largely set-up and taking Harvey down the tragic road to becoming Two-Face, part 2 is all about learning what Harvey has become as Two-Face, and getting to grips with this pairs-obsessed villain that comes to depend on coin tosses to dictate his every action.  It’s a very good follow-up, and I like that the episode didn’t shy away from suggesting a sizable length of time had passed. With an episode like this in other series, the time lag could have been left unstated or been just a matter of days or weeks.  Instead, we get told there’s a whopping six-month gap between the two.

 We also get our first time of Batman taking the guilt of something not really his fault onto himself in the series.  It’s long been a notable facet of Batman’s character that when tragedy befalls anyone close to him, he assumes all the guilt and responsibility for it, and more often than not it’s unwarranted.  This, as with so much about Batman, is the legacy of his parents’ murder; his whole mission is about trying to save all innocent people the way he couldn’t save his parents, so anytime an innocent person falls through the cracks on his watch, his must be the blame.  It’s the erroneous reasoning of a damaged mind, to say the least, and shows how little difference there can be between someone like Two-Face and someone like Batman.  Again, I think the episode warrants top marks of 10 out of 10.

Episode 12: It’s Never Too Late

Plot (as given by me):

A gang war between crime bosses Arnold Stromwell and his younger rival Rupert Thorne is escalating in Gotham, and adding to the tensions is the apparent disappearance of Stromwell’s estrange son Joey. Convinced that Thorne is behind Joey’s disappearance, Stromwell arranges to meet his rival at a restaurant, where a disguised Batman overhears Thorne and his men planning to kill Stromwell at the meeting.  On his way to the meeting, Stromwell experiences a flashback to his childhood, when he and another boy named Michael got into trouble playing on the tracks of Gotham’s railyard.

 Back in the present, Batman informs a local priest of what is to come and implores his aid in dealing with Stromwell.  At the deli restaurant, Stromwell accuses Thorne of abducting his son, but Thorne calms him down, then escapes to leave Stromwell in the restaurant.  The place explodes, but Batman is able to get Stromwell out before that happens. Batman implores Stromwell to retire from organised crime in Gotham and turn state’s evidence against the gangs, but Stromwell refuses.  While Thorne learns of Stromwell’s survival and organises a man-hunt for him, Batman takes Stromwell on a tour of the city to show him the various reasons he should quit organised crime.

 After showing Stromwell the neighbourhood where the gangster first began his criminal career, Batman takes him to a drug rehab centre.  It turns out Stromwell’s son Joey is there, suffering from addiction to the drugs sold by the gangster’s underlings.  Joey’s mother Connie, Stromwell’s estranged wife, is also present and chides him about his part in their son’s fate.  However, Stromwell is not willing to back down; feigning contrition, he subsequently turns on Batman, planning to take Joey home to get well and restore his fortunes by remaining a criminal.  However, the pair are set upon by Thorne’s men, and Stromwell tries to flee while Batman deals with the rival gang.

 Stromwell’s path takes him back to the train tracks, and his earlier flashback completes itself; as a boy, Arnie had got his foot caught in the tracks as a train barrelled down on him, and the other boy Michael pushed him aside.  In the present, Michael turns out to be the priest visited by Batman, and also Arnie’s brother, whose leg had to be replaced with a wooden one after the train incident.  Guilty over having cost his brother his leg, Arnie tries to reject Michael’s help, only to be reminded of how badly his life is falling apart around him.  Michael’s words finally reach his brother, and Arnie breaks down in tears.

 At that moment, Thorne appears to kill Stromwell, but Batman also arrives and subdues the gangster, and when the police turn up, Stromwell prepares to turn on the gangs by giving the police a full statement.

Review:

This episode gets us back into the organised crime side of Batman’s adventures, but in doing so the show-runners made a very smart move and re-used the character of Rupert Thorne that was introduced through the Two-Face two-part episode.  A lot of the original characters created for this series up to now haven’t gone beyond their introductory episodes by this point, so it’s great to see our first repeat new character.  Granted, the series would make a bigger mark with another of its original characters later on, but this at least shows the show had the potential to make some seemingly one-shot new villains into more regular characters.

 The plot is more focused, however, on a rival of Thorne’s in a story that apparently combines elements of A Christmas Carol, It’s A Wonderful Life and Angels with Dirty Faces, at least going by the DC Animated Universe wiki.  Having only seen the first of these, with just peripheral awareness of the second and never having seen or heard of the third, I can’t quite be sure in this respect.  However, it’s still a decent episode and a bit of a different one, albeit not one of the show’s great.  I’d put it at 8 out of 10.

Episode 13: I’ve Got Batman in My Basement

Plot (as given by me):

Batman attempts to foil a theft, but is attacked by a large vulture, the attack enabling the thieves to escape, leaving some bird seed behind as the only clue.  Elsewhere in Gotham, two children named Sherman and Roberta (who are amateur detectives) spot the vulture while being hassled by two neighbourhood bullies, Frank and Nick.  Frank misidentifies the bird as a hawk, but Sherman correctly identifies it as a South American vulture, and he and Roberta take off to try and work out the mystery of its presence.

 The children follow the bird to an abandoned bird seed factory, where the two thieves Batman tried to stop are waiting for their boss.  The boss soon arrives and turns out to be the Penguin, who sent the vulture as back-up to ensure his men escaped with their prize; the Vonalster Fabergé Egg.  As the children try to escape, they are noticed by the vulture, but Batman arrives and traps the Penguin and his men in some bird seed.  In their escape efforts, the children accidentally activate the factory’s machinery. They are saved from being pulverised on a conveyer belt apparatus by Batman, who is then knocked out by a gas grenade from Penguin’s umbrella gun.

 As Batman staggers outside, Sherman and Roberta help him into the nearby Batmobile and get in themselves.  Their desperation to get the car started leads to a chaotic escape that results in the children winding up with the egg as well.  They manage to return to Sherman’s house, where they hide Batman in the basement and try to conceal the Batmobile with boxes.  As Sherman’s mother leaves to go to the store, Frank and Nick discover the Batmobile, and Sherman is forced to clue them in to what is going on.  At the same time, he deduces that capsules in the Batmobile’s visor are needed to counter-act the Penguin’s gas.

 In Sherman’s basement, Frank and Nick see Sherman was telling the truth, and are warned off from unmasking Batman by Sherman. At that moment, the Penguin and his men arrive, having been alerted to the Batmobile’s location by the vulture. With the assistance of Frank and Nick, and aided by equipment from Batman’s utility belt, Sherman and Roberta lead a defence of their home that proves ineffective except as a minor delay. In the basement, Penguin prepares to kill the prone Batman, but the dark knight has recovered thanks to Sherman’s assistance, and quickly takes down the criminals.

 Sherman’s mother then returns and is furious at the state of her house, but soon calms down when she sees Batman and realises what has occurred.  Sometime later, Sherman puts up a newspaper headline detailing their capture of the Penguin on the basement wall; he and Roberta are continuing to run their junior detective agency, and Frank and Nick are now helping them instead of picking on them.

Review:

This episode marks our first introduction to the Penguin, and it’s pretty poor.  Not so much for the character being modelled after the Batman Returns version, though as someone who never enjoyed the Tim Burton Batman films that is a personal peeve of mine. No, the problem is more Batman being knocked out with gas and having a bunch of kids defend him until he recovers. To paraphrase Anton Sevarius from Disney’s Gargoyles, if it got any more saccharine in this episode, I'd be tempted to put a finger down my throat.  This episode is more suited to some horrendous kiddified abomination of the Batman like the 1960’s Adam West pseudo-Batman show.  In a post-Burton, post-Miller animated series, it shouldn’t even exist.  For me, it warrants only 3 out of 10.

[tecknotic]

BATMAN BEGINS (2005) STARTERS PT. 1 Feel free to change words / pronouns as necessary!

“Why do we fall, ___? So we can pick ourselves back up.” “Justice is balance.” “It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.” “There’s nothing to fear but fear itself!” “Wait! You could die!” “At least tell me your name.” “I never said thank you.” “And you’ll never have to.” “I know the rage that drives you. That impossible anger strangling the grief, until the memory of your loved one is just... poison in your veins. And one day, you catch yourself wishing the person you loved had never existed, so you would be spared your pain.” “I wanted to save ___. I failed.” “A vigilante is just a man lost in the scramble for his own gratification.” “You’re thinking about ___?” “Actually, ___, I was thinking about myself.” “What is the point of all those pushups if you can’t even lift a bloody log?” “Your compassion is a weakness your enemies will not share.” “That’s why it’s so important. It’s what separates us from them.” “When a forest grows too wild, a purging fire is inevitable and natural.” “You’re taller than you look in the tabloids, ___.” “You could have just sent a ‘thank you’ note.” “I came here to show you that not everyone in ___ is afraid of you.” “People from your world have so much to lose.” “You got spirit, kid -- I’ll give you that.” “You are in hell, little man! And I am the devil!” “You’re not the devil; you’re practice.” “Well, a guy who dresses up like a bat clearly has issues.” “Death does not wait for you to be ready! Death is not considerate, or fair! And make no mistake: here, you face Death.” “Didn’t you get the memo?” “I’ve got to get me one of those.” “Have you finally learned to do what is necessary?” “___? You’re supposed to be dead.” “Sorry to disappoint.” “I want to borrow it. For, uh, spelunking.” “___, the way I see it, all this stuff is yours, anyway.” “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, ___.” “No. No, ___, I’m sorry. The day ___ died, I said terrible things.” “Justice is about more than revenge.” “I never stopped thinking about you -- about us. And when I heard you were back, I started to hope.” “You had me declared dead?” “You’ve been gone seven years.” “Take a seat. Have a drink.”