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whumptober · 1 year

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Whumptober 2023

Welcome to Whumptober 2023 — the sixth year running!

COMPLETIONISTS/PARTICIPANT BADGES CAN BE FOUND HERE

To those of you who participated last year, welcome back! To everyone joining this year, welcome!

Please make sure to read the Event Info carefully, as most of your questions will be answered there already. For everything else, you are welcome to come to our ask box or ask questions in our Discord server here.

This year’s AO3 Collection can be found here.

And this years playlist can be found here.

There are 139 prompt options in total this year - this is including the alternatives list! A special thanks goes out to those who took part in our trope vote back in July. From the 1526 responses to our list of 223 tropes, we looked through the popularity results, as well as your honourable mentions, and were able to produce this years prompts list. Stay tuned, as we will be posting some of the results at a later date!

We’re very excited to see the community come together once more and be a wild, chaotic bunch of creators and consumers of whump. Go wild with the prompts, and support your fellow creators - we wish you all the fun!

Best of luck and happy whumping,

Mods Vanne, Yenn, Kitty and Surro

(All 31 Themes + Prompts, Event Information and FAQs are posted below the cut!)

Whumptober 2023 Prompt List

No. 1: “But now this room is spinning while I’m trying just to fill in all the gaps.”

Safety Net | Swooning | “How many fingers am I holding up?”

No. 2: “I’ll call out your name, but you won’t call back.”

Thermometer | Delirium | “They don't care about you.”

No. 3: “Like crying out in empty rooms; with no-one there except the moon.”

Journal | Solitary Confinement | “Make it stop.”

No. 4: “I see the danger, It’s written there in your eyes.”

Cattle Prod | Shock | “You in there?”

No. 5: “You better pray I don't get up this time around.”

Debris | Pinned Down | “It's broken.”

No. 6: “Do or die, you’ll never make me; Because the world will never take my heart.”

Recording | Made to Watch | “It should have been me.”

No. 7: " “I paced around for hours on empty; I jumped at the slightest of sounds.”

Alleyway | Radio Silence | “Can you hear me?”

No. 8: “I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier.”

Overcrowded ER | Outnumbered | “It’s all for nothing.”

No. 9: “Learning everything ain't what it seems, that's the thing about these days.”

Polaroid | Mistaken Identity | “You're a liar.”

No. 10: “Can’t you see that you’re lost without me?”

Broken Phone | Stranded | “You said you'd never leave.”

No. 11: “All the lights going dark and my hope’s destroyed.”

Animal trap | Captivity | “No one will find you.”

No. 12: “I haven't slept in days but who's counting?”

Red | Insomnia | “I’m up, I’m up.”

No. 13: “It comes and goes like the strength in your bones.”

Cold Compress | Infection | “I don’t feel so good.”

No. 14: “Feed me poison, fill me ‘till I drown.”

Flare | Water Inhalation | “Just hold on.”

No. 15: “I don't need you to help me I can handle things myself.”

Makeshift Bandages | Suppressed Suffering | “I’m fine.”

No. 16: “Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”

Gurney | Flatline | “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

No. 17: “You’re the lump in my throat and the knot in my chest.”

Collar | Touch Aversion | “Leave me alone.”

No. 18: “I tend to deflect when I’m feeling threatened.”

Blindfold | Tortured For Information | “Hit them harder.”

No. 19: “I’ll take one final step, all you have to do is make me.”

Floral Bouquet | Psychological | “I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”

No. 20: “People don’t change people, time does.”

Blanket | Found Family | “You will regret touching them.”

No. 21: “See the chains around my feet.”

Vows | Restraints | “Don't move.”

No. 22: “They never saw us coming, ‘til they hit the floor.”

Glass Shard | Vehicular Accident | “Watch out!”

No. 23: “It’s gonna get me by the end of the night.”

Shadows | Stalking | “Who’s there?”

No. 24: “I’ve got a head full of chemicals; mouth full of ridicule.”

Goodbye Note | Neglect | “I thought they were with you.”

No. 25: “You’re not delivering a perfect body to the grave.”

Storm | Buried Alive | “They’re not breathing!”

No. 26: “Sometimes I get so tired; I don’t even know myself.”

Seeing Double | Working To Exhaustion | “You look awful.”

No. 27: “You drew stars around my scars; But now I’m bleeding.”

Matches | Scars | “Let me see”

No. 28: “We might not make it to the morning; so go on and tell me now.”

Bloody Knife | Sacrifice | “You'll have to go through me.”

No. 29: “I only sink deeper the deeper I think.”

Scented Candle | Troubled Past Resurfacing | “What happened to me?”

No. 30: “It’s okay, just to say, ‘I’m not okay’.”

Borrowed Clothing | Bridal Carry | “Not much longer...”

No. 31: “I thought that I was getting better.”

Emptiness | Setbacks | “Take it easy.”

Alternatives List:

Betrayal

Aftermath of Failure

Brass Knuckles

Decoy

Body Modification

Playing Cards

Examination

Hunting

Drugging

Shaking

Panic

Broken

Miscommunication

Lab Rat

Reluctant Whumper

Event Info & Rules

~ Please read our extensive event info posts before sending us an ask ~

WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. The 'theme' of each day is the line of lyrics.

The prompts are merely to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don’t have to include the exact wording of prompts into your work). Feel free to run rampant on interpretation. For example, if the prompt is "flame", you could create something with reference to a candle/campfire, your character could have suffered a burn, or the flame could be related to the 'spark' of a relationship. It's truly up to you!

In total, there are 4 prompts for each day: there's lyrics, an object, a trope and a line of dialogue to choose from. We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks.

Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, photo/video/audio edits, paper crafts and elaborate recommendation lists (not just a list of links). Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.

When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag the with:

#whumptober2023 …..(the event tag)

#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(day number)

#lyric, #bruises, #stabbing, …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)

#fandom or #OC, … (ironman, originalcontent, oc …)

#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)

#teeth, #gore tw, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Add "tw" AFTER the trigger/content warning. )

#nsfwhump …..(only for nsfw content)

#your own tags go here

PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober-archive blog. They must be tagged in the order above. An elaborate post about our tagging system can be found [here]

Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.

Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month. A form will be published at the beginning of November asking you to tell us if you completed the event. You do not need to post anything you have created, we rely on trust and we will not check this.

Questions not addressed in one of our many event info posts can be directed to this blog. We will not answer any questions that have been answered in the FAQs or rules already.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. How does this year’s prompt list work? What do I have to choose?

You can create something based on:

The overall theme/lyric of the day

Prompt 1, 2 or 3

One or several of the alternative prompts

A combination of the above

Q. Is [specific anything] allowed?

When in doubt: JUST DO IT!

Q. Do I have to do all 31 days?

Participate as much or little as you like! Just be sure to tag your posts properly (ex. #no.7, #radio silence). If you create works for 31 total theme days you will become a completionist. But apart from that, there are no repercussions if you don’t fill prompts for each day.

Q. Can I post early/late?

Yes, you can post whenever you want. We will only reblog posts during October, but you can use our prompts all year round. The day you post will only affect your probability of being reblogged.

Q. Will you reblog my post?

Due to the sheer number of content posted during Whumptober we can’t promise to reblog every single post. We will make a random selection trying to capture a wide variety of content. The following will increase your chances at being reblogged:

tag your post properly

post within 2-3 days of the theme you want to fill: if you fill the prompt for Day 1 your chances of being reblogged during October 1st to 3rd are highest and will go towards zero afterwards.

Q. What if I don’t understand a prompt/theme?

Send us an ask! We’re happy to help with wild, unhelpful clarifications or brainstorming. That being said, the themes are entirely up for interpretation. Don’t take them too literally. For example: You can be choking on a cherry, someone else can choke you or you could be choked up on emotions, etc.

Q. What kind of content can I make? Can it be NSFW?

This is a MIXED MEDIA event! You can write fic, post meta, doodle or paint, create a gifset or photo edit, link a song, or get crafty with video - anything goes. As for NSFW, make what you like, we just hope that you’ll tag your work accordingly so that others participating in the event can stay safe.

Q. Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges?

Absolutely, as long as the other challenges allow it too.

Q. Can I upload/repost my Whumptober content to other social media platforms?

Of course! You can post your own content wherever you like (or you can opt to not publish it at all). Additionally we’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there. It can be accessed here. The tumblr blog @whumptober-archive is the official archive, so please respect the boundaries of any closeted whumpers in your social circle.

Q. Can I use prompts to write a new chapter for an existing fic?

Yes.

Q. An existing fic I am currently writing contains many of the Whumptober prompts, can I use it?

If you are actively writing this fic at the moment with the Whumptober prompts in mind, yes. If you’ve previously posted something that checks the boxes, we ask that you not include it retroactively for this current year. You can, however, add new chapters relating to one or more of the prompts.

Q. What kind of characters can I write for?

Fandom characters, OC characters, human, furry, alien, cyborg, RPF, whoever you like. You can use the generic “whumpee” character or have specific ones.

Q. Does it have to take place in a specific fandom?

No, you can create works for your own worlds or for fandoms or for both. You can also create more generic or pan-fandom works. You can do cross-overs or use OCs, whatever you want.

Q. Can I use a prompt multiple times?

Yes, but it only counts once towards being a completionist.

Q. If I’m not comfortable with one day’s prompts can I use a prompt of a different day as a substitute and still be a completionist?

No, you can’t exchange prompts for different days. However, if all four prompts of a specific day make you uncomfortable, we have created an alternate prompts list that you can draw from. You can exchange any prompt with these, but please make sure not to use them twice.

Q. Where can I post my work?

Post where and how you want. You don’t have to (cross)post it to Tumblr or at all. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive.

Q. Can I start posting early?

You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? That being said, you can post early, but we won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st.

Q. Do I have to finish a fic I started/can I post WIP’s?

Yes you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish it in October for it to count towards being a completionist.

Q. Is co-writing allowed?

Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you.

Q. Do I have to create 31 standalone pieces to be considered a completionist or can I write one continuous story?

One continuous story is fine. The challenge is to write something for 31 prompts. If that’s spread over 31 fics or just one, you are still considered a completionist. (The same goes for every other media you choose.)

Q. Is there a min/max limit on word count?

There is no limit.

Q. Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many?

No limit and combine as many as you’d like.

Q. Is a hc/angst/emotional whump focus ok?

Of course! We are not going to establish a threshold for whumpiness. If you think it’s whumpy enough, then it’s whumpy enough. It can be physical, psychological, emotional, or any combination of the three.

Q. What’s considered nsfw?

See this post

Q. What is whump?

Typically the genre includes situations where a fictional character is hurt, be it emotionally, psychologically, or physically. Fanlore provides information here.

Q. My interpretation of the prompt isn’t whumpy at all, does that count?

If you don’t think your interpretation is whumpy, then it doesn’t count for Whumptober. Remember that whump comes in many forms, though, and that we don’t have a whump-checker or a threshold for how much whump needs to be included. If you think your interpretation contains enough whump to count, then it does.

Q. Can I start working on the prompts before October?

Absolutely! That’s why we post the prompts a month in advance. We recognise how difficult it can be creating for 31 days in “real time” so feel free to start creating early!

Q. How do I tag triggers?

tw at the end of the word, ex. #gore tw

Q. Do I have to use your tags?

Yes, if you want your work archived on the blog. If not, feel free to use whatever tags you want.

Q. Does combining prompts count towards completion?

Yes

Q. Can we @ you?

Yes but we mostly rely on the #whumptober2023 tag.

Q. Is there anything we are absolutely not allowed to write?

There are no rules, but please make sure to properly tag your trigger warnings. And keep in mind Tumblr’s policies if you are posting it here (or the policies for whatever site you use).

Q. Where can I go for brainstorming help?

Here on Discord or come into our ask box.

Q. My characters are minors, is that ok?

Yes, but as with everything else, use clear and descriptive tags.

Q. Can I cross post on other blogs?

Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable. You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once.

Note: This is a creation challenge, please don’t repost your old work under our tags (unless it’s been changed or edited for the event).

Thanks for reading, and happy whumping!

#whumptober2023 #whumptober 2023 prompts list #whumptober #prompts list #long post

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fluoresensitive · 3 months

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it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

I’ve been on Tumblr for a really, really, really long time. I joined back in 2012, when I was thirteen years old. Like pretty much every thirteen-year-old who finds themselves on Tumblr, I was closeted and depressed and lonely. I was so isolated from my peers due to my autism that I had been taken out of school and was being homeschooled. Other than church activities, Tumblr was my only way of looking out into a scary, “secular” world that I was shielded from.

It was bliss! The first blog I ever had was an Alan Rickman themed blog because I was obsessed with Alan Rickman. I liked reading about feminism from the massive amounts of feminist blogs there used to be, I liked seeing older Black people discuss racism, I liked knowing there was a place where it was okay to question my gender and sexuality and my upbringing.

It rocked my world! I got into fandom spaces, I got into writing fanfiction and roleplaying. Some of my best memories are me auditioning for Harry Potter Marauder Era roleplay groups. And then discovering independent roleplaying, creating my own characters or roleplaying as my favorites with no group behind me. People who remember me from way, way, way back will know I used to roleplay as Hannibal Lecter, as Gustavo Fring, as my most successful and important OC I’ve created Agatha Garcia, a baking witch with a sad story. Even writing this now I’m beaming because despite the traumas of being in these kinda icky spaces. Tumblr was an escape, it was magical.

Of course, there were not-so-great moments. In 2014, I was angry about anti-Blackness and my God was Tumblr’s fandom spaces anti-Black. You couldn’t discuss real life issues without being accused of being a reverse racist, you couldn’t discuss the realities of being Black in America (especially, after Mike Brown’s death) without being shouted down about keeping the peace. I was not a peaceful teenager. I was angry, I was awake, and I was not going to take anything laying down. Because of my less than serene posting, I got callout posts, I got a reputation for being mean and a bully and aggressive. I took it as a badge of honor—of course these racist motherfuckers think I’m a bully! I leaned into it, I got angrier, but eventually, around 2016, I broke from the roleplay community, and drifted off into a world of my own.

First it was called musespiration, then blvckmuseum, a way for me to sit at the periphery of the roleplay community without interacting with it directly. I reblogged pictures of Black people that I hoped would be inspirational and inspire them to keep creating their awesome original characters. Late 2016, I switched to vaantablack—one of my greatest eras, I think at least. I started making moodboards and posting little bits of my writing. I got into “trouble”, again, for being aggressive about anti-Blackness but this time I was surrounded by Black tumblr users, people who were more than happy to stand behind me. It didn’t matter how many ugly asks I got, there were people who liked me! Who thought I was smart and creative and funny. People who stood by me when my family went homeless in 2017, who celebrated with me when we were housed in 2018. I remember watching Beychella with all of Black tumblr, all of us screaming about the iconness the moment. I remember when Black Panther came out and we lost our collective minds. Ugh, what a time!

Around that time, I changed my URL from vaantablack to the now very recognizable fluoresensitive that is my brand, I guess? I changed my aesthetic (still sticking to my eerie changeling vibes) and started to knuckle down with posting my short stories. I built a thing for myself, made a community of (dwindling) Black tumblr users. More and more of us were being ran off the site—some accused falsely of being Russian bots, some driven away by the Klan-esque hordes of white (and non-Black) users who did not want us there. People I ki’d with, iconic trans women like Silver and Rashida, huge blogs like lagirl and hundondestiny and so on, were disappearing. No one wanted to deal with cruelty outside and on the computer.

I stuck it out. Call it loneliness, call it bailing out a sinking shit; I stayed on Tumblr. I liked sharing, I liked having a place where people listened to me and trusted me and thought what I said I had value. I thought I was, in my small way, changing the world.

Even if I haven’t exactly shaken the roots of the blogging world, I hope I’ve touched people. I hope you think about my vaantablack or fluoresensitive, and you smile. I hope when you find me on bookshelves, you can share an anecdote about something I’ve said or posted. I hope I’ve helped you see the humanity in Blackness, the beauty of being nonbinary, the joy of lesbianism. I hope I gave you good recommendations for movies and books, I hope you enjoyed the horror-posting. And more than anything, to Black tumblr, I hope you remember me.

This is my final text post. I’ll be clearing out my likes slowly and answering a last few questions, but as of Friday the 21st, this’ll be an archive. I’ll miss you all.

If you want to follow my career and adventures, you can find me on Instagram, my professional Twitter, my Patreon, or my Substack. Long time friends/mutuals, please ask for my phone and email, I never want to lose contact with you!

(And, of course, if you want to make this Juneteenth goodbye especially sweet, here are my money links. Very overjoyed to never have to beg for help after this again, but thank God for everyone who gave to me throughout the years. I swear you’ve kept my family from living on the streets!)

paypal.me/marsinaries venmo.com/fluoresensitive

#🦢#i wept writing this god i'm gonna miss this place but it's hell for my psyche and i no longer need it

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hitchyboi · 2 months

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Dating Havik Headcanons #1

Y'ALL OKAY THIS IS FOR MEEEEEEE XD I NEED MORE HAVIK AND GOD DAMNIT I'LL PROVIDE IT IF NO ONE ELSE WILL!

Oki thank you~

Content Warning- It's Havik. Gore, Blood, Violance, Self Mutilation, one small NSFW bit, Swearing (That's just me)

Cuteness aggression to the max. He can't help it, his partner is so precious when he's hugging them all he can imagine is squeezing them until their ribs break and pierce their lungs. If he's caressing their face, they can feel the way his fingers twitch, itching to dig his nails into their soft flesh.

He chews and bites. A lot. After Scorpion burned his face off he realized his ability to just straight bite things got easier without skin in the way. Will hug his partner from behind and chew on their hair cause he likes the texture. Cuddling? Random bites the entire time and they range from light and playful to you think he's genuinely trying to eat you sometimes. He isn't, kinda. Just likes biting.... Sometimes he may be trying to take an actual bite. Romantic Cannibalism.

His name has become a confusing mix of a disgust and comfort. If anyone ever calls him Dairou he gets insanely mad, remembering his life in Seido in the lowest caste and all the dictatorship over his life. Yet when his partner calls him his name... its almost like a comforting blanket he's never felt being wrapped around him. He doesn't have to be Havik, Cleric of chaos and symbol of anarchy. He can let himself relax for a moment, his worries can drift away for another day. With his partner... he can just be Dairou.

Surprisingly he is a good cook. Now his method of cooking may be a bit... unorthodox. You don't really know what he's cooking with. Or how he even got it in the first place. But give him some meat, herbs and spices and a fire. He'll be able to roast up a good tasting meal.

Has issues with monogamy. Not being faithful part but more the idea of having fidelity forced onto him? He doesn't like the idea of rules or societal norms re-shackling him after he's gained his freedom. If his partner is fine with polyamory or having an open relationship, great. If his partner isn't comfortable, communicating it as a personal preference and comfort level would gain more an understanding reaction from him rather than telling him he needs too.

Man's comfortable as hell in his relationship and partner. Would never tell his partner what they can or can't do or wear cause fuck that shit. You wanna go to a club wearing a sexy ass outfit and show yourself off? He's your hype man. Go out nude, he'd support it.

Will kill a man if someone messed with his partner.

Has killed a man for messing with his partner.

Has a habit of mutilating himself at the most random of times. Almost like the habit of cracking one's knuckles he starts to feel stiff and really uncomfortable if he hasn't snapped or torn a part of his body for a while.

His partner will have to force this man to put on a shirt if they are going out in Earthrealm. He doesn't understand the social norms of Earthrealm and frankly... he doesn't give a shit to learn. He'll eventually put on a shirt if his partner insists for their own comfort

Has tried to fight police officers, many times.

Getting this man to properly bath himself is a hassle on its own. He grew up in a way where bathing was a luxury few could afford so self care isn't something he's well versed or keen on. If his partner insists that they'd join him in the bath or shower then eventually they'll be able to pull his grimy ass into the water. Once he is in the water however, good luck getting him back out.

Lil NSFW~ Any marks his partner makes on his body during night time fun will always be saved on his body. He'll never fully heal them up, scars are like a badge on honor to this man. Now he gets to walk around with more scars and scars that his partner placed on his body from how well he was fucking their brains out.

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dianawinchester03 · 6 months

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Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot

Series Masterlist

Y/N’s POV

"Listen to me and listen to me good Y/N L/N. Don't come back if you go out there on your own, don't call, don't text, pretend I'm dead!"

I jolt awake, buckets of sweat pouring down my head. I don't realize I'm crying until I feel my eyes burn. A stinging migraine takes over, pressure building up in my head. I gotta stop dreaming about that over and over. It was probably one of the worst days of my life.

Checking the time I see it's 5 am. I'm only a couple hours away from Jericho now, I took a pit stop at midnight because I was exhausted and still kinda hungover from the night before. Which is weird because I usually don't get hungover.

More or less I'm trying to avoid sleep because of these stupid nightmares, as hunters we don't get much sleep regardless but we're only human...until we're not. Pushing the blanket off of me, I climb out of bed and get ready for the day ahead of me. My heart skips a beat for a second, remembering I'm gonna be seeing Dean....and Sam obviously. I'm more excited to see my best friend of many years.

I think about calling my dad. I initially decide against it but I give in. He's still my old man. Growing up my dad always had high expectations of me when it came to hunting. It's clear he expected me to be psychic like my mom but after I turned 18 and nothing came, his disappointment was clear.

Mom's abilities helped him out a lot when they hunted together, according to dad, she couldn't predict the future as much but she more or less communicated with the dead on ghost cases along with her telekinetic powers. It came it handy whenever they needed to gank a monster.

The look in my fathers eyes when he talks about my mom, breaks my heart everytime. You can see how much he loved her, I could only imagine how much she loved him.

After taking a shower I try to call Dean but it goes to voicemail. So I just shoot him a quick text that I'll be in Jericho before lunch.

I put my phone to my ear after dialing my dads number and hitting call. In seconds I get an answer. "Y/n/n? Is everything okay??" My dads voice is more rugged than usual, clearly he was asleep. Concern seeping through his voice. "I'm fine daddy, I just missed you. I called to see if everything is alright?" Tears sting slightly from my eyes. God I'm such a pussy.

"I'm great baby, I'm surprised to hear from you-not that I don't want to. I'm just happy you called" He breaths out relieved. "Great well Dean called me, told me his dad was missing. I just wanted to let you know I'm gonna be meeting up with them." I say quickly as I check out of the motel room and make way to my beautiful Quinn after checking out, doubling checking to make sure I have everything.

"Understood. Update me along the way? Maybe we can do a case of our own soon?" He asks hopefully. "Yeah maybe, we'll see. I gotta go daddy. Bye, love you" I shock myself saying 'love you' I haven't told dad that in years. I grew up always saying it to my dad and whoever we considered family. The habit just stuck.

Hopping on my bike and starting her, I'm off to whatever adventure awaits.

________________________________

Third Person POV

"Goddamnit Dean where are you?" Y/N mutters to herself after calling Dean for the millionth time only to go to voice mail. This feels like karma. She decides to say screw it and go herself, hopefully they show up within the time or Dean calls back. She's still in her casual attire. A grey tank top, layered with a red flannel covered in her favorite leather jacket. Paired with combat boots.

Currently on the Sylvania Bridge, a bunch of cop cars blocking a crime scene. A deputy on the bridge speaking to some divers down in the river asks them. "Did you guys find anything?!"

"No! Nothing!" The diver responds. The deputy turns around to see Y/N. "Woah miss no civilians" He goes to usher her out of the premises. She pulls out her fake federal marshal badge and flashes it to the Deputy Jaffe according to his name tag. He seems to take the bait with a nod.

A fake smile plastered on her face "Federal Marshal, got called in on my day off. So what seems to be the situation brothers in blue?" Y/N asks nicely. "Still trying to piece it together ourselves, pretty lady. No sign of struggle. No footprints. No fingerprints. It's spotless. It's almost too clean" The other deputy investigating the car in question answers her question.

Stooping down next to Jaffe, out of view to look at the car herself. She recognizes the roar of Baby's engine. Smirking to herself as the officers talk about the boy that's missing, Troy Squire. "So this kid Troy, he's dating your daughter isn't he?" Jaffe asks Hein. "Yeah" Hein confirms.

"Hows Amy doing?" Jaffe asks. "She's putting up missing posters downtown" Hein responds. "You fellas had another one like this just last month didn't you?" Dean voice booms, surprising the deputies. "Who are you" Jaffe asks suspiciously. "They're with me deputy" Y/N covers for them, now standing up in view. A shocked yet happy look takes over Sam's face and a smirk rising on Dean's, eyeing her up and down for a split second. They both quickly recover now back to their serious faces.

"You fellas took a pit stop? Was expecting ya earlier" She says to the boys. Crossing her arms over her chest "You lot a little young for federal marshals aren't you?" Jaffe says, still suspicious. "Thanks. That awfully kind of you" Dean chuckles cockily, causing Y/N to roll her eyes. "You did have another one just like this, correct?" Dean presses his question, walking around the side of the car where Hein is.

"Yeah that's right. About a mile up the road. There've been others before that" Jaffe confirms. "So the victim. You knew him?" Sam asks. "Town like this. Everybody knows everybody". Jaffe nods. "Any connections between the victims besides the fact that they're all men?" Y/N asks curiously. "No, not so far as we can tell" Jaffe says.

"So what's the theory?" Sam asks as he moves follows Deans movements to the side of the car in question and Y/N follows Sam. "Honestly? We don't know. Serial murder? Kidnapping ring?" Jaffe says honestly.

"Well that is exactly the kind of crack police work I'd expect from you" Dean says sarcastically. Sam stamps on his foot and Y/N elbows him in his ribs the same time. A smile on his face towards the deputy while Jaffe looks at the trio suspiciously.

"Thank you for your time" Y/N says, a sweet smile on her face. "Gentleman" Sam greets the officers before walking past Dean. Y/N and Dean following behind. Y/N sees the seething look on Deans face. "Don't you dare think about it Winchester" She mumbles. Dean huffs, tapping his brother on his head and Y/N rolls her eyes.

"Ow! What was that for?!" Sam mutters angrily to his brother. "Why you gotta step on my foot?" He says back angrily "And you missy, why you gotta elbow my ribs" He points his finger at Y/N, rubbing his right ribs. "Why do you have to talk to police like that?" Y/N retorts back angrily. The argument between the three subsides as Sam turns to Y/N, a smile on his face.

He wraps his arms around her shoulders, pulling her in for a hug. "I missed you too Sammy" Y/N says chuckling at the sudden affection, though she meant it. "I didn't know you were coming" Sam says smiling.

He ruffles her hair as they pull away from the hug. "Dean called me, told me your dad hasn't been home in a couple days. Looks like I'm on the family emergency contact list" Y/N jokes, looking over at Dean, his head to the floor slightly. Indicating he's feeling a bit left out.

"Come here youuu" She says teasingly, wrapping her arms around Deans shoulders. His arms automatically go around her waist, burying his face in her neck, he smiles into the hug. Sam smirks at this and wiggles his eyebrows at his eyebrows at his brother suggestively. Knowing where Sam is getting at Dean flips off his younger brother the bird, meanwhile Y/N is oblivious to this.

"Still a short stack aren't ya princess" Dean teases. Y/N pulls away, tapping Dean on his shoulder while Sam laughs, agreeing with Dean. "Shut it you morons, I can still kick both your asses" Y/N threatens them, pointing her fingers at the brothers while they chuckle.

"Those cops don't know squat. If we're gonna find your dad, we gotta get to the bottom of this thing ourselves" Y/N changes the subject. Sam looks over her shoulder, clearing his throat. An man who looks like the sheriff with two real FBI agents behind him asks the trio. "Can I help you guys?"

"No sir, we were just leaving" Dean says and they begin walking to their respective vehicles. Not before mocking the two agents "Agent Mulder, Agent Scully" Y/N says. Dean biting back a laugh at her humor.

"You still driving that gorgeous 67' I see" Y/N eyes Baby up and down, wolf whistling. "Course I am, Baby's a chick magnet here" Dean smirks proudly, patting the hood of the Impala. Y/N snorts and Sam rolls his eyes. "Still riding that stunning Harley I see" Dean nods over to her bike. "Course I am. She's my pride and joy" Y/N smirks, echoing Deans words.

Picking up her helmet "Race you to town?" She challenges. "You're on, Princess" Dean retorts, jumping in baby and they're off.

________________________________

Now walking through town, Dean spots a young lady putting up missing persons posters with Tory Squire on them. Putting two and two together , this must be the deputy's daughter "I'll bet you that's her" He says. "Yeah" Sam agrees.

They walk up to her "You must be Amy" Dean inquires. "Yeah" she confirms. "Troy told us about you, we're his uncles and aunt. I'm Dean, this is Sammy and this is Y/N" Dean introduces everybody. "He never mentioned you to me" Amy says walking away, they follow behind her.

"Yeah, that's Troy. I guess. We're not around much, we're up in Modesto" Dean lies causally. "So we're looking for him too and we're kind of asking around" Sam says and a young lady who seems to know Amy asks her "Hey you okay?"

"Yeah" Amy reassures. "You lovely ladies mind if we ask you a couple questions?" Y/N asks the girls nicely, hoping to make them less weary. They agree.

Y/N's POV

We're all now sitting in a diner booth. The girls across from us. Sam on the inner part of the booth, me in the middle and Dean to the end. His arm rests on the top of the seat, practically around me.

"I was on the phone with Troy, he was driving home. He said he would call me right back. And, uh, he never did" Amy explains the events of the night Troy went missing. "He didn't say anything strange? Or out of the ordinary?" Sam inquires. "No, nothing I can remember" Amy shakes her head.

"Here's the deal ladies" Dean says leaning forward, arms now on the table. "The way Troy disappeared. Somethings not right. So if you've heard anything..." Dean trails off and I notice the girls have a skeptical look in their faces. Looking at each other. They're hiding something.

"What is it girls?" Y/N asks. "Well it's just ....I mean with all these guys going missing. People talk" Amy's friend says. "What do they talk about?" Sam and Dean say in perfect unison, causing me to jump a bit. Jesus. Brothers.

She looks at Amy before continuing "Its kinda this local legend. This one girl, she got murdered out on Centennial, like, decades ago. Well supposedly, she's still out there. She hitchhikes. And whoever picks her up. Well they...disappear forever" She finishes and the tree of us share a look.

We're in the library now. Deans researching the info the girls gave us on the computer and sitting between me and Sam. No hits come on on 'Murder on Centennial'. "Let me try" Sam goes to take the keyboard but Dean slaps his hand away harshly "Got it" he says annoyed.

Sam pushes him away, rolling his chair behind his and I snicker at their childish behavior. "Dude!" He exclaims, tapping Sams shoulder "You're such a control freak" he grumbles, fixing his chair behind the two of us. And Sam types. Then something dawns on me.

"Wait, aren't angry spirits born out of violent death?" I ask. "Yeah" Dean nods confirming. I push Sams chair away "Dude!" He exclaims like Dean did, tapping my shoulder. Dean snickers at the instant karma. I type on the computer "Maybe it's not murder" I say and I type 'Suicide on Cenntenial' and got a hit on an article.

"Sharp thinking princess" Dean smirks, patting me on the small of my back. I smirk "Thanks charming". Sam begins reading the article. "1981. Constance Welch, 24 years old jumps off Sylvania Bridge, drowns in river" Sam reads out loud. "Does it say why she did it?" Dean asks "Yeah" I say. "What?" Dean asks.

"An hour before they found her, she calls 911. Her two little kids are in the bathtub. She leaves them alone for a minute and when she comes back. They're not breathing. Both die" I briefly summarize the article, skimming through it. "Hmm" Dean hums.

"Our babies were gone, and Constance just couldn't bear it. Said husband, Joseph Welch" Sam quotes the article and I notice a picture of the bridge we were on earlier. "That bridge look familiar to you fellas?" I ask rhetorically, pointing to the picture on the screen.

Later in the night we were at the bridge where Constance jumped to her death. We walk to the edge, looking down. "So this is where Constance took the swan dive" Dean says. I grimace at the sight of the dirty mucky water. The scent filling my nose and I resist the urge to gag.

"So you think your dad would have been here?" I ask, while we all look down at the river. "Well he's chasing the same story and we're chasing him" Dean says and we all begin to walk down the bridge. "Okay so now what?" Sam asks. "Now we keep digging till we find him. Might take a while" Dean says.

"Dean, I told you I have to get back..." Sam starts and they both finish "...By Monday" they say in unison. Brothers. Scares me everytime.

"Right. The interview. Yeah I forgot" Dean nods. "You're really serious about this aren't you" I ask Sam, crossing my arms over my chest. "You think you're just gonna become some lawyer. Marry your girl?" Dean says. "Maybe. Why not?" Sam shrugs.

"Does Jessica know the truth about you? About what you've done?" Dean presses. "No and she's not ever going to know" Sam says, walking up to Dean and I. I stand in-between them, already knowing somebody's gonna either get pushed or punched. "Well that's healthy." Dean retorts sarcastically . "Come on Dean, don't start" I warn him calmly, putting my hand on his shoulder.

"No y/n/n, he can pretend all he wants. But, sooner or later, you're gonna have to own up to who you really are Sammy" Dean walks back down the bridge towards Baby after saying this. Sam follows behind "And who's that?" Sam queries, agitation in his voice. "One of us" Dean says as if it's obvious, gesturing between me and him.

"No, I'm not like either of you. This is not going to be my life" Sam says kinda disgusted. Ouch, but valid. "You have a responsibility" Dean says. "To Dad? And his crusade?" Sam says, his eyes welling with tears. "If it weren't for pictures. Me and y/n wouldn't even know what our moms look like." Ohhhh boy, here we go. The look on Deans face alone could scare a toddler.

"What difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed them...they're gone. And they're never coming back" Sam finishes and Dean pushes me gently to the side from in between them. He grabs Sam and slams him against the edge of the bridge. "Woah Dean! Easy!" I try pulling Dean off of his brother but his grip is too strong.

"Don't talk about them like that" Deans tone is deadly. He lefts Sam go and turns to me. "Sorry for pushing you Princess" He says sincerely, I nod reassuring him. I look behind him and I see a woman standing at the ledge of the bridge in a white dress. "Uh....fellas...." I point at the woman. They look in the direction I'm pointing at. She turns to look at us for a second before allowing herself to fall off.

We all run towards the area where she threw herself. Looking over the edge, we don't see anything. "Where'd she go?" Dean asks. "I don't know" Sam breathes out. All of a sudden we hear Baby's engine starting. Her headlights flickering. "What the....." Dean says stunned.

Then Quinn starts, her engine roaring. The headlights flicker just like Dean's car. "Who the hell is driving your car and bike?" Sam asks us. Me and Dean hold out the keys to our vehicles, still stunned. Then the Impala and Harley tires start screeching, driving towards us. "Boys! Go! GO!" We all split into action, running away from the vehicles.

They gain on us and the three of us hurl ourselves off the edge of the bridge. Me and Dean end up slipping off the ledge, falling into the river while Sam grabs onto the ledge and pulls himself back up when the coast is clear. Baby and Quinn come to a stop.

Me and Dean fish ourselves out of the mucky water, laying on the shore edge. "Dean! Y/N!" Sam screams before seeing us. "Hey, you guys alright?" He asks worried. "We're super" Dean yells back sarcastically and I give him a weak thumbs up. Sam laughs at our state and we go to make our way back up the bridge.

I pull myself up and give my hand to Dean who's still laying on the floor like he's half dead. "Get up piglet, we gotta get back up" I tease him while groaning in pain, he huffs taking my hand and pulling himself up. "Shut it, you're covered too" He chuckles while groaning in pain from the impact too.

We're back up on the bridge checking on our vehicles. Quinn seems alright and I'm sure so is Baby. "Your car and bike alright?" Sam ask the both of us. "Yeah whatever she did to it, it seems alright now" Dean says. I nod assuring that my bikes ok. "That Constance chick, what a bitch!!" I scream out over the bridge in frustration because she almost hurt my girl.

"Well she doesn't want us digging around that's for sure" Sam says. Dean leans on the hood of the Impala, I follow and so does Sam. "So, where's the trail go from here geniuses" Sam asks the both of us.

Dean throws his hands up in defeat, grimacing at the smelly mud all over our skin and I scoff. Sam smells the air before turning to us "You guys smell like a toilet" Neither of us answer, Dean's head drops while I turn to glare at Sam. He smirks at me snickering.

Now at a motel, Dean plops his credit card on the book in-front of the receptionist. "One room please"

The man picks up the card, looking at it in recognition. "You guys having a reunion or something?" The age-able man queries. My eyes cork up at this. "What do you mean?" Sam asks now curious. "That other guy Burt Aframian, he came and bought out a room for the whole month" The man tells us whilst typing on his computer to book us a room. The boys and I share a knowing look. John was here.

We find out what room John was in. Currently I'm on my knees picking the lock to room 10. Sam and Dean have their backs turnt to me, looking out incase someone sees us. After about a minute, I hear a click and I slide my trusty hairpin out of the knob.

I open the door and walk in but Sam and Dean don't seem to notice, still looking out. I grab them both by their collars and roughly pull them into the room, locking the door behind us. We look around the room for a couple seconds and Dean goes over to the lamp, turning it on.

I notice the walls lining with paper of what seems to be Johns research on the case he was working here. Dean spots a day old sandwich and sniffs it. Gagging at the smell. "Ugh" He plops the sandwich back down. "I don't think he's been here for a couple days at least" He states the obvious.

"Yeah, no kidding Sherlock" I say sarcastically and Dean rolls his eyes at my dry tone. Sam stoops to the ground, dusting it with his fingers to find "Salt. Cats-eye shells. He was worried. Trying to keep something from coming in" Sam says getting back up. Dean notices what I'm staring at, it's the victims.

"What do you got here?" Sam asks, walking over to us. "Centennial Highway victims" I state. "I don't get it." Dean says and I see Sam walking over to the other side of the room. "They're different men, different jobs, ages, ethnicities. There's always a connection right? What do these guys have in common?" Dean ponders.

I walk over to Sam, my eyes scanning for the lord written in the wall. I catch something at the corner of my eye, walking a couple steps I turn on the lamp and I nudge Sam to check it out. I internally laugh, shaking my head. John Winchester, you smart son of a bitch. Of course you figured it out.

Sam chuckles ironically "Dad figured it out" he says. "What do you mean?" Dean asks. "He found the same article we did. Constance Welch. She's our woman in white" I say. Dean turns back to the wall looking at the pictures of Constance's victims. "You sly dogs" he says almost as if he's complimenting the unfaithful presumably deceased men.

"Alright so if we're dealing with a Woman in White. Dad would've found the corpse and destroyed it" Dean states. "She might have another weakness" Sam says. "No. Dad would wanna make sure. He'd dig her up. Does it say where she's buried?" Dean asks walking over to us, looking at the notes on the wall.

"No, not that we can tell" Sam answers. "If I were your dad though, I'd go ask her husband" I say, point to the picture of Joseph Welch on the wall. "If he's still alive" Sam adds. "Alright why don't you see if you can find an address. Me and y/n gotta get cleaned up" Dean says and I clutch my duffel bag with my clothes on my shoulder.

"Hey guys?" Me and Dean turn to Sam. "What I said about Mom and Dad earlier. And your mom, y/n. I'm sorry" Sam says guiltily and sincerely. Dean puts up his hand stopping Sam. "No chick-flick moments" Dean says and Sam chuckles, I shake my head laughing. "Alright, Jerk" Sam says. "Bitch" Dean retorts.

"Oh shut it, you're a sucker for Notting Hill" I quipped teasing him, bumping Deans hip with mine causing Sam to laugh. "Hey! Julia Roberts don't count! That woman is a national treasure!" Dean exclaims defending himself. Sam bends over clutching his stomach in laughter. "Yeah...sure" I laugh ironically before pushing him when he least expects it.

"DIBS ON THE BATHROOM!" I yell, bolting to the bathroom whilst Dean stumbles on himself trying to catch his balance. I lock the door behind me quickly and Dean bangs on it. "Ahhh screw you ya nutcase!" He yells frustrated. "You wish asshat!" I retort back laughing and getting ready for my nice hot long shower.

After my shower, Dean goes in and me and Sam are left outside. Sam tried calling his girlfriend and I'm on the chair, smoking a cigarette by the window. Texting my dad and updating him about the case. Dean walks out of the bathroom, putting on his jacket and takes off the light.

"You used up all the hot water y/n" Dean says. I chuckle, taking the last puff of my cigarette and outing it. "Snooze you lose, Winchester" I smile widely at him, winking. He scoffs and chuckles at this. "I'm starving, I'm gonna grab something to eat at that diner down the street. You two want anything" He asks the both of us.

"No" Sam says. "Aframians buying" Dean says smiling and Sam shakes his head. "I'll take my usual please" I smile. "(Your favorite food/usual order) and (Your favorite soda/milkshake) coming right up, Princess" He smirks at me, winking. My heart flutters at that smile he gave me and the wink he sent my way. The fact that he remember my order. But I cover it up with returning the cocky wink "Thanks charming"

When Dean leaves I turn to Sam. We haven't really been alone for us to talk like we usually do so I take the chance now. "Hey Sammy?" I say softly. "It's Sam" he groans in annoyance at me calling him Sammy. "Whatever you say Sammy" I grin widely at him, getting back to my serious expression. He looks at me curiously. "What's wrong y/n/n?" He asks.

"I just want you to know. I don't blame you for going back to college after this case. Your brother might not be very warm and cuddly about it but you know how he is. He loves you and misses you. You're making the right choice" I say. He sighs sadly and I put my hand on his shoulder.

"You of all people deserved a shot at the Apple pie life. So does Dean. He would never admit it because he's too stubborn but he'd kill for the apple pie life you're hoping to achieve." I reassure Sam, he looks at me smiling sadly.

"You do too Y/N." He says softly. I take my hand off his shoulder shaking my head. "I don't want that. I'm where I need to be" I assure him and Sam chuckles shaking his head. "You're just as stubborn girly" He teases me and I lightly punch his shoulder. "Shut up dipshit" I say laughing.

"Never, crackhead" He laughs punching my shoulder back. God I missed my best friend. "I gotta say though" I say, a smirking taking over my face. "Jess is quite a foxy lady" I compliment his girlfriend and he smiles proudly.

"I'll never get what she sees in you" I added causing his smile to drop and me to laugh. "You're dead to me" he said flatly and I laugh louder. "I love you too Sammy" I pat his shoulder. I go to sit back down but my phone rings.

Metallica blurring from the ringtone of my phone. Sam gives me a "really?" look and I just roll my eyes taking my phone out of my pocket. It's Dean. "That's some speedy delivery. You're in for a great tip." I tease him over the phone but he doesn't respond with his usual banter.

"Guys. Five - 0. Take off." Dean says quickly. Me and Sam stand up now panicking on the low. "What about you?" Sam asks his brother concerned. "Ah, they kind of spotted me. Go find dad" Dean says and abruptly hangs up. Son of a bitch.

Me and Sam tiptoe over to the curtain by the front door. Pulling it open slightly we see a deputy walking towards it and Jaffe, the deputy from the bridge, questioning Dean. We hurry to the window I was smoking by and we open it up, grabbing our stuff we shimmy out fatasses out of the window and make a break for Baby.

We decided to go to Joseph Welch's house, husband of Constance Welch, the Woman in White, and question him. I settled for leaving Quinn at the motel as much as it broke my heart. The cops would've heard her if I started her.

________________________________

I knock on Mr. Welch's door. Within a couple seconds he opens it. He takes a second glance at me before looking at Sam. "Hi, are you Joseph Welch?" I ask nicely. "Yeah" he confirms, eyeing me up and down.

We're now walking through his yard and Sam shows him a photo of him, John and Dean from the 80s, asking Mr. Welch if he had come by at anytime. "Yeah. He was older but that's him" Mr. Welch confirms that John was here. "He came by three or four days ago. Said he was a reporter" he said.

"That's right. We're working a story together" Sam lies to keep our cover. "Well I don't know what the hell know of story you're working on. The questions he asked me..." Mr. Welch trailed off and I injected "About your late wife, Constance"

"He asked me where she was buried" He said. "And where was that again?" Sam asks and I mentally facepalm. Real smooth Sammy. Real smooth. "What? I gotta go through this twice" Mr. Welch said slightly agitated. "It's just fact checking sir, if you don't mind." I say calmly, he eyes me up and down again before nodding. Sam notices this too.

"In a plot, behind my old place over on Breckenridge." He tells us where she's buried. "Why did you move?" Sam asks. "I'm not gonna live in the house where my children died" Mr. Welch stated obviously. "Mr. Welch, did you ever marry again?" I ask him.

"No way, Constance. She was the love of my life. Prettiest woman I've ever known" He assures us as if he's trying to convince us and himself. "So you had a happy marriage?" Sam asks and Welch hesitates for a second before saying "Definitely" he says.

Sam and I share a look before he takes a deep breath. "Well that should do it sir. Thank for your time" I say we pretend to walk off. Sam takes out the keys to baby and I look at him with a "I'm gonna do it" look. He nods and I call out for Mr. Welch.

"Mr. Welch, you ever heard of a woman in white?" Welch turns around confused. "A what?" He asks. "A woman in white. Or sometimes a weeping woman" Sam repeats my words, explaining it further. "It's a ghost story. Well..." I start to explain and I chuckle. "It's more of a phenomenon, really" We start walking back towards Mr. Welch.

"They're spirits. They've been sighting for hundreds of years. Dozens of places" I say, looking over to Sam to continue. "In Hawaii, in Mexico. Lately in Arizona, Indiana." As he lists the places I hold up my fingers, counting them. "All these are different women you understand but all share the same story". Sam says

"Kids, I don't care much for nonsense" Mr. Welch says now aggravated, turning to walk off but I stop him. "See when they were alive, their husbands were unfaithful to them. And these women basically suffering from temporary insanity murdered their children. Then once they realized what they had done. They took their own lives" I explain and Sam takes over.

"So now their spirits are cursed. Walking backroads, waterways. And if they find an unfaithful man. They kill him. And that man is never seen again" Sam further digs. "You think.....You think that has something to do with....Constance. You smartasses!" Mr. Welch, now horrified at the possibility, breathes heavily.

"You tell me. You hesitantly claimed you had happy marriage but by the way you were checking out my friend here... I'd beg to differ" Sam says, his gaze soft. Ohhh that's cold. "I mean, maybe, maybe I made some mistakes, but no matter what I did, Constance, she never would've killed her own children. Now you two get the hell outta here! And you don't come back!" Mr. Welch shuns us angrily, shaking trying to hold back tears.

"Jesus Sam, that was a bit cold" I say as we walk back to the car. Sam sighs opening baby and jumping in, opening the passenger side from inside for me. "One man was unfaithful and now people are dying. I'm not saying they're saints but it's messed up" He says putting the car in reverse driving off.

I sigh, "That's the job for ya, hey, gimme your phone" without hesitation he gives me his phone "Sure, what for?" He asks while in dialing. "You'll see" I smirk putting the phone to my ear. I take my gun out from my waist, rolling down the window and aiming it out the window to the sky.

"Y/N what're you doing?" Sam questions now worried. I shush him with a finger to my lips. "911 what's your emergency?" The lady operator says on the line. I let out a fake scream and Sam now realizes what I'm doing, holding back his laughter.

"Help!! Please!! My husband and the neighbor are f- " I pull the trigger before I could finish the sentence. A ear piercing scream leaves my throat "HE HAS A GUN PLEASE!! HELP US!" Sam is biting his fist from laughing. "The blood!! Oh the blood! HONEY!!" I quickly give the operator address on the other side of where we are and hang up handing it back to Sam who is hysterical.

"You..really are ...a crackhead.." He says in-between laughs and I chuckle. "Whatever dipshit" I retort. Within a couple minutes my phone rings. I answer putting it on speaker. "Fake 911 phone call, princess. I don't know. That's pretty illegal. Aren't you a bad girl?" Dean teases me from over the phone.

I scoff rolling my eyes as Sam chuckles, grimacing at the last part of Deans sentence. "You're welcome, charming" I chuckle. "Listens guys we gotta talk" Dean starts to say but Sam interrupts. "Tell me about it. So the husband was unfaithful. We are dealing with a Woman in White. And she's buried behind her old house so that should be our next stop."

Dean cuts Sam off "Sammy would you shut up for a second?" Dean tries to interject but Sam continues "We just can't figure out why he hasn't destroyed the corpse yet" Sam rambles. "Well that's what I'm trying to tell you two. He's gone. Dad left Jericho" Dean says.

"What? How do you know?" I say surprising, my mouth agape. "I've got his journal" Dean says. My jaw falls further, practically on the floorboard of Baby. "He doesn't go anywhere without that thing" Sam says. "Yeah, well, he did this time" Dean says. "What's it say?" I ask. "Same old ex-Marine crap, when he wants to let us know where he's going" Dean explains what's written.

"Coordinates. Where to?" Sam confirms. "Dean, what the hell is going on?" I question now confused and irritated by the vague messages John's leaving. Suddenly Sam hits the brakes of the car and my phone slips out of my hand. I catch a glimpse of the Woman in White infront of the car before he hurls straight through her.

"Sam! Y/N!?" I hear Dean yell for us from the phone that's now on the floorboard. Me and Sam try catching our breath. "Take me home" is all we hear, the woman in white appears in the back of the Impala. Looking at Sam. We don't answer and she says again, more irritated this time.

"Take.Me.Home" I can see her ghost flicker, I reach into my boots to grab to iron knuckle cuffs, gripping it in my hand "No" He says sternly, holding his ground. The doors of the car lock automatically, trapping us in. We try opening our sides but it's stuck. The Impala is now driving itself to Constance's old house where she killed her kids. Me and Sam still trying for the doors.

"GODDAMIT!!" I yell in frustration, punching the window with my iron knuckle cuff but it barely cracks. We pull up to her house, against our will, and baby shuts off. "Don't do this" I plead with her but she doesn't seem interested in me, expected. "I can never go home" She says in a somber voice, her ghost flickering.

"You're scared to go home" Sam says and it clicks. She's scared to face her kids. In a split second, she was in the middle of me and Sam. A force throws me to the backseat, pinning me down and she jumps on top of Sam, straddling him. "Get off of him you bitch!" I scream at her. "Hold me, I'm so cold" she breathes out needy.

I cringe at this and break out of her hold. I reach over and punch her with the iron knuckle cuff ring. She disapparates, but not for long. "You okay Sammy??" I reach over to help him, before he could answer. She appears back on his lap. Backing handing to the back seat. The knuckle cuffs fly out my hand and onto the floor in the back seat.

"You can't kill me, I'm not unfaithful I've never been" Sam argues, groaning in pain as she passes her hand along his skin. "You will be" she says before kissing him. "YOU SICK BITCH!" I try to get out of her hold but the force is too strong.

Sam struggles to turn the keys in the ignition. She disappears for a quick seconds and we both look around. Sam starts screaming in pain "SAM!!!" I yell, feeling powerless that I can't do more, I see the knuckle cuffs at the corner of my eye, I try reaching for it but it's too far.

She appears back on him, her face now decayed. Her fingers digging into Sam's chest. "NO!!" My voice is pained, still attempting to reach the cuffs. I finally get a hold of the cuffs, gunshots ringing through the driver seat window. I see Dean outside of the Impala shooting Constance.

"My hero" I grumble sarcastically to myself at the fact that Dean is shooting a ghost. I throw the iron cuffs at her again, this time seems to work a little better. Sam gets up and starts the car. "Take her home Sammy" I say and Sam nods curtly. Driving Baby head first into Constance's house to face her kids.

"Sam! Y/N!" Dean yells but the impact from the crash, throws me over into the front seat. How? Don't ask me. "Guys!?" Dean yells for us. "Here!" I yell back to catch his attention. "You two okay? Can you move?" He asks, moving a piece of wood from infront the window. "Yeah, help us" Sam says groaning in pain.

I feel a bump starting to form on my head. Dean pulls me out from the passenger side and I lean on the side of his car. Next taking Sam out. "There you go" He says holding Sam up and checking on me, I give him a thumbs up and we see Constance infront of us, holding an old picture of herself.

Her eyes flicker up to us angrily, she tosses the picture aside and a chest of drawers come hurling towards us, pinning us again the wall by our mid regions. We groan trying to push it off but it wouldn't budge. The lights in the house start flickering and we all look around.

The stairs starts leaking water, assuming that's foreshadowing the water she used to drown her kids. The boys and I look up the starts to see the shadow of two kids holding hands. "You've come home to us, Mommy." They say in unison, reminding me of when the boys speak in perfect unison.

Shit gave me the heebie jeebies.

They appear behind a terrified Constance and they start hugging. Constance is a screaming mess, her spirit flickering from decayed to her normal self. She and the kids spirit diminish, melting to the ground where the water from upstairs is leaking. That has got to be where she drowned them.

Once her spirit is gone, the boys and I look at each other. Grunting from the pain, we push the chest of drawer over with an ease compared to earlier. We walk towards the puddle of water. "So this is where she drowned her kids" Dean states the obvious. "Thats why she could never go home" I say and Sam nods. "She was too scared to face them" Sam confirms.

"You guys found her weak spot. Nice work kids" Dean pats Sam on his chest and me on my head and we laugh in pain. "Yeah I wish I could say the same for you. What were you thinking shooting Casper in the face, you freak?" Sam mocks his brother and I laugh rubbing my head. "Hey. Saved your asses" Dean defends, pointing at us.

"No smartass, it was my ironcuffs" I snort holding it up to show him, joining in on making fun of Dean. "Whatever" Dean grumbles. He puts his hands to his knees bending down. "I'll tell you another thing. If you guys screwed up my car....I'll kill ya both " He threatens me and Sam and I snicker.

"Yeah, be sure to burn my body. Before you shoot my ghost when I haunt ya" I quipped, Dean glares at me and Sam laughs and we high-five.

________________________________

Third Person POV

Sam and Dean are driving down the empty road. Y/N on her bike side by side to the Impala. Dean glances at her, admiring her physique. He admires her a lot, the way she handles herself on hunts. She did a hell of a job today. Growing up together he watched her go from a timid shy girl to a confident badass woman.

He holds her in high regard, never backing down from a fight. Her smartass mouth keeps him on edge, she always finds a way to keep him in his toes. Sure he dropped his flirty comments here and there and so did she. But Dean would never do anything to mess their friendship up.

He cherishes their friendship too much to allow himself to let his little crush ruin that. Even if he doesn't accept his feelings for her. Growing up together he protected her the way he did for Sam.

Feeling a sense of responsibility for her. He missed her this past year. He doesn't regret calling her to come on the search for their father, he feels bad never called before even though he wanted to.

She wanted her space to grow and he respected that, unlike her father.

Sam is talking Deans ear off about some place their dad should be after analyzing the coordinates he left in the journal for them. He realizes his brother isn't paying attention to him, looking over to see Dean staring at Y/N riding next to the Impala.

He smirks at this, knowing his brother has had a bit of a crush on Y/N for a couple years now. Y/N has liked Dean basically her whole life but would never admit it to Sam. To protect their friendship but he doesn't mind. They're good for each other. Too damn stubborn to admit it though.

"You're still crushing on her" Sam teases his brother, this sentence snaps Dean out of his daydreaming and his head spins to his younger brother. "The hell are you talking about? I do not have a crush on Y/N dude. She's like my little sister" Dean scoffs denying the fact.

Sam chuckles shaking his head. Stubborn ass.

"Yeah, sure" Sam says ironically, changing the subject, he tells Dean that their Dad went to Blackwater Ridge Colorado.

"How far?" Dean asks. "About 600 miles" Sam tells him, flashing the light on the map. "If we shag ass we could make it by morning" Dean says looking at Sam and back to Y/N next to baby.

Sam looks at his brother awkwardly. "Dean, um...." Dean turns away disappointed, staring at the road. "You're not going" He says turning back to Sam. "The interview is in like 10 hours. I gotta be there" Sam tries to reason with his brother.

Dean nods sadly, "Yeah. Yeah whatever. I'll take to home." He says and Sam turns the light off. Dean makes a turn to lead onto the highway.

Outside, Y/N notices this turn and follows them, she assumes they're dropping Sam back to Stanford. It saddens her to know she might not see her greatest friend for a long time but she knows it's for the best. It's what he deserves.

They arrive in front of Sam's apartment. Y/N parks her bike infront on the Impala and turns her engine off. She takes off her helmet and hops off her bike at the same time Sam is getting out of Deans car.

Taking her time to walk towards the brothers she hears Sam say, while he's leaning down to face Dean in the window after he closes the passenger door. "Maybe I can meet up with you later, huh?" Sam half promises. "Yeah all right" Dean nods, not convinced and Sam taps the door twice.

Dean starts his engine while Sam turns to Y/N. "Sam? Y/N?" He calls out for his brother and best friend. They turn to him. "You know we made a hell of a team back there." Y/N nods sadly "Yeah" he responds. Turning back to Y/N, he smiles at his longest friend sadly.

"Don't give me that look boy, you better lawyer it up when I call your ass from jail to bail me out" Y/N attempts to ease the situation by joking. Sam chuckles and pulls her into a hug. Wrapping his arms around her shoulder, she wraps hers around his waist.

Quickly wiping the tear that's been threatening to fall from her eyes so they don't see. He ruffles her hair for what he thinks is the last time and says "Hang in there kid". She scoffs lightly punching his shoulder.

"You're only a couple months older, now go before I kick your ass" she pretends to chase him while he walks to his apartment. Y/N sighs sadly, turning to the Impala and jumping in the passenger seat. She sees Dean isn't facing her, his eyes on the driver side window and that could only mean one thing.

Placing her hand on his shoulder she says, "He'll be okay Dean". He turns to her, his face stained in a couple tears. Her heart breaks seeing this "Come here" she ushers him to hug her, he leans into her chest. Allowing a couple more tears to fall from his eyes to her chest.

She comforts him as he always did her, reassuring him that Sam will be alright. That his little brother loves him. That she will always be there for him. Stroking his hair, she feels butterflies fill her stomach now realizing their position. She tells herself now is not the time or place.

Ignoring it but she can't help but feel something is wrong. Like if something is going to happen. It's been bugging her all day. Dean starts chuckling a little at her words earlier to Sam.

"Don't give me that look boy, you better lawyer it up when I call your ass from jail to bail me out"

Even in a time like this, Y/N is the only person who could put a smile on his face. "What're you laughing at" Y/N asks, chuckling with him, confused how he went from crying to laughing. Before he could tell her, they hear Sam scream "NO!!" Pain in his voice.

They snap out of it, bolting out of Deans car. They kick the door down to Sam's apartment. A blast of heat gushes out through the door "Sam!" Dean yells for his brother. Y/N smells smoke.

'Oh no. This is it. This is the bad thing that was going to happen'. Y/N thinks to herself. "JESS!!" Sam screams in agony, Dean and Y/N rush to Sam's room.

Upon running in they see Jess pinned to the ceiling, engulfed in flames. No fucking way.

"Sam! Sam!" Y/N and Dean yell. "NO!! NO!!" Sam screams still on the bed, blocking himself from the flames.

"We gotta get out of here!" Dean screams, he and y/n pull Sam off the bed. Hauling him out of the room. "JESS!! JESS!! NO!!" Sam screams in shock. They make it out of the apartment in time before the blast takes over the whole building.

________________________________

Hours have passed since Jess' death. Dean is looking at the burning building being sprayed by the firefighters. His mind flashing back to that unfaithful night when his mother was killed. His heart grieves for Sam knowing that pain is now twice as hard on his little brother, who he fought so hard to protect.

Sam spent the first hour crying into Dean and Y/N's arms. Currently at the trunk of the Impala, he's loading his rifle, a grim look on his face while tears still fall from his eyes.

Y/N's heart pains seeing her best friend like this. Leaning against Baby's boot, taking a drag from her cigarette in this stressful time. A habit she picked up from her father. Sam ushers her to pass it. She looks at him surprised. "You sure?" he just nods curtly.

He hands Y/N the rifle, as Dean approaches them, so she can finish loading it. Passing the almost burnt out bud to him, Sam takes a few pulls, letting the smoke out. Before finishing it, flicking it to the ground and crushing it with his boot.

Turning to face his elder brother. Y/N throws the gun into the trunk. "We've got work to do fellas" She says grimly and Sam shuts the trunk.

Authors Note

So this chapter was supposed to be uploaded since last night but right after I finished proofreading and editing. My dumbass accidentally deleted the entire chapter!

The tears that were shed. Holy Fuckk. That's a pain I never wanna go through again. And I've watched all 15 seasons of Supernatural😂

Anyways. I hope whoever is reading that enjoyed the first episode. I'll try my best to finish the next one by Thursday for the latest. I'm planning to do a lot with Y/N's character. I'm trying to avoid leaving plot holes but I'm kinda new to consistent writing so bare with me.

Update

I forgot to add in the fact that Sam and Deans mom grew up with Y/N's parents. I added into the prologue. Please forgive my lack of planning. Xoxo

#spn #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean x reader #dean and sam #sam and dean

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muldermuse · 8 months

Text

Guardian Angel (Gator Tillman X F!Reader)

this was based on a prompt i recieved!

18+ only!! mdni!! warning: reader is briefly knocked unconscious in the fic! not by Gator but by an anonymous male who is never named/identified. mentions of bad childhood/abusive parents. mentions of police brutality. mentions of smut. being in a hospital/back of an ambulance. Gator and Roy are threatening in this and mean about reader. Angst!!! lil bit of fluff! more angst?? Unhappy ending (no character deaths tho do not worry)

I’m sorry :/

Part of the two sinners works! Read more here!

Gator Tillman had no choice but to become a Sheriff, he idolised his Father and saw the respect that surrounded him. No one ever questions Roy Tillman; at least, not if they value their own life. Gator had witnessed firsthand the brutality that his father inflicted on his community when wearing the badge. One of Gator’s happiest childhood memories was his daddy letting him wear his cowboy hat and his Sheriff’s badge. Roy Tillman’s eyes were full of pride as he looked as his young son, “you’ll make a fantastic Sheriff one day, boy”. Any other dreams that young Gator were quashed in that moment, ever since that day when his Father looked at him and saw the potential Gator could grow up to have- he knew he had to be a Sheriff.

Unfortunately, Gator Tillman never wanted to be a good Sheriff. He didn’t actually care about helping people or being a beacon of hope for his community. Gator, like his Father, loved the power that came with the badge. Without it, he was some loser daddy’s boy but with it; he felt he was unstoppable. As much as Roy Tillman ignored his son, he knew him too well and he knew what little ability Gator actually had. So, Gator was always on the quietest shifts and he was always paired with an older colleague who could actually do the job. In his father’s eyes; Gator was still a little kid playing dress up. So here he is, browsing the disposable vape collection in his local gas station to fill the time until he can clock out. The clerk looks away and Gator slips a watermelon mango flavour into his pocket. He throws a few dollars on the counter and takes a bag of Takis before heading back to the patrol car. Maybe he can convince his patrol partner to drive him to a diner to get a coffee to kill a few more hours or maybe he’ll have an uncomfortable nap across the back seat.

Then a call comes in.

“Dispatch, please respond. We have a call for assistance at The Outpost Bar about 4 minutes from your current location. Seems that an altercation between two men has escalated and a young lady has got hurt, ambulance is nearly there as she’s knocked out”.

Gator picks up the radio as his colleague starts speeding to the bar, “Heard- name of victim?”.

Bile rises in his throat and he feels his stomach drop.

It’s your name.

Before he can even process what has happened; the patrol car arrives on the scene and sees the ambulance outside the front of the bar.

He knows his job is to find the guy who’s done this and get him in the back of the car. He knows the ambulance and the paramedics are there to help you. But he also knows that you’re currently unconscious on the floor of a shitty dive bar and that’s all he can focus on. His heart is thundering in his ears as he runs into the bar, his colleague is shouting his name after him to try and discuss a plan before entering the bar. He needs to see you, what if the call was wrong? You never mentioned that you’d be heading out tonight. You never really tell him anywhere you’re going though. He wishes you would but he can’t think about that now.

The inside of the bar is nearly empty, the lights are up and there’s a group of women stood around someone lying on the floor. The shoes he can see are a pair of black boots- has he ever seen you wear those? Would you wear something like that? The thought in his head are moving too quick for him to comprehend. He tries to make his way over to the huddle of women on the floor but he sees a familiar face first. It’s Jenson Ackerley, the guy you brought to the church pot luck, the guy that you’d told Gator you never planned on seeing again after blowing him off for him. Gator had seen a few texts from Jenson pop up on your phone but you were seemingly quick to ignore them. He’s stood at the bar, he’s holding his head in his hands and looks relieved when he sees law enforcement come in.

“Thank god you’re here, they fuckin’ ran off after they shoved her. She hit her head and then they fuckin’ ran off. She’s breathin’ fine so sh-“ he sounds relieved as he speaks, the words tumbling out of his mouth as if he’s a concerned partner. You’re not his partner, Gator isn’t either but he’s closer to it than this fucking guy. A rage flushes across his face as Gator grabs Jenson’s plaid shirt in his fists and pushes him against the concrete wall of the bar. He spits at Jenson’s feet before speaking to him, “What the fuck happened? Why the fuck didn’t you step in? Some fuckin’ quarterback huh?” He shoves him harder; feeling rejoice in the nerves filling Jenson’s eyes "Lettin’ her get hit while you just fuckin’ stand there holdin’ your fuckin' dick?”. Jenson’s face contorts in confusion, he tries to respond before Gator punches him hard in his lower stomach. He grabs Jenson’s cheeks and pushes his head further into the cold, hard concrete of the wall as he whispers low in his ear “I fuckin’ swear on my fuckin’ Dad’s life- if something happens to her, I’ll fuckin’ kill you”. The hard grip of his hand gets tighter on Jenson’s face, Jenson’s face would be flushing red if it were not for the fact that all blood seems to have drained from his face with nerves. Gator’s smirk is predatory, “‘m a fuckin’ Sheriff y’know- I can make it look like an accident”.

He can hear your voice, it’s mumbled and strained- but it is distinctly you.

Gator turns that quick he feels a bout of nausea hit him, it’s doubled when he sees you being moved out of the dingy bar on a stretcher. You look confused but a flash of recognition and reassurance flutters through your expression when you realise it’s him.

“Gator?” Your voice is slow as if your wading through thick molasses to whisper his two syllable name. He grabs your hand, it’s ice cold and he knows that it’s the shock your poor body has been through this evening. Your hand meekly trembles in his and it occurs to Gator that he’s never seen you as vulnerable as this.

“Yeah-yeah it’s me, hi” His voice is the softest it’s ever been with you as he tenderly presses a hand to your face. This isn’t the same man who two days ago called you a whore as you rode his cock in his Daddy’s bed and this certainly isn’t the man who’s last text simply told you to fuck off and leave him alone. This isn’t your Gator. But right now, this isn’t you. When you look back, you both won’t recognise the other in this moment.

But fiercely, you’ll both take the tenderness right now. You both desperately need it.

Gator will come to always crave it.

***

He insisted to his colleague that he’d go with you in the ambulance. The paramedic was too preoccupied with checking your vitals to notice that Gator held your hand the entire way. When tears filled your eyes due to pure confusion about your current situation, he’d press a soft kiss to your under eyes and mumble to you that it was going to be okay. He wasn’t leaving your side until it was all okay- he promised.

“I swear on it, okay baby. Me and you” he brings your hand up to his lips and presses a soft kiss to it. Tenderly, he moves your hair out of your face as you nod in agreement. You wanted to believe him with every ounce of your body and soul but your mouth is too dry to beg him to stay; you’re not sure if you’re asking for tonight or for forever.

Gator’s watching you intently, he’s memorising the different parts of your face- just in case. Of course nothing’s going to happen to you, he’s sure of it. But just in case, he’s logging to his memory the soft curve of your lips, always a little pouty and so fucking pretty when you wear that lip gloss that drives him wild. The little furrow in your brow, always more prominent when you’re worried or plotting how you can try and fuck up Gator’s week by saying something calculating.

Your eyes flicker shut as the paramedic rests a hand on Gator’s shoulder, “you’re a good boyfriend. Half the guys don’t even want to come in the back and the others usually try to calm themselves rather than their partners. You’re a good man”. The irony isn’t missed on him, he is someone’s boyfriend but he’s not yours. His girlfriend has never received this tenderness from him. Gator Tillman is a lot of things but he is definitely not a good man. In this moment, however, he is trying to be.

He doesn’t thank the paramedic, he just nods and keeps your small hand in his. He doesn’t want his mind to wander and consider how things would be if you were in a relationship. You’d drive him mad, he’s sure of it but with Glenda; he feels nothing. He considers that at least anger is an emotion. Better than an emotionally vacant relationship.

The ambulance comes to a sudden stop and he feels your hand grip his tighter, your eyes are open and as the paramedic works to open the door; Gator is reassuring you that everything’s going to be okay.

“Promise that you’ll stay?” your voice is hesitant and soft. You feel emotionally exposed right now and it’s a deeply uncomfortable feeling.

Gator presses a kiss to your forward quickly, conscious of the paramedic trying to get your stretcher out of the vehicle and onto a ward. “Of course baby, as soon as they find you a room- I’ll be there. Okay? I swear it”. You begin to cry as you nod and Gator desperately wants to kiss you more to console you but you’re wheeled out before he gets the chance.

Your hands are pulled apart as your stretcher gets wheeled into the hospital. He’s lost in his thoughts until a familiar authoritative voice booms behind him.

“Gator?”

It’s his father.

Gator feels the blood drain from his body and he tries to stop his hands trembling before he turns around.

Roy’s hands are on his hips as he glares at Gator. He’s dressed in his usual cowboy hat and denim jacket. His father’s presence always makes Gator nervous. With one look from Roy Tillman, Gator is transported back to being a four year old meek child who had accidentally broken a vase, terrified of his father’s reaction but simultaneously in awe of the authoritarian berating him for his mistake. He’d seen them holding hands, Gator takes a second to thank the lord that that is all his father had seen.

His mouth feels like it’s full of cotton, he can’t speak and if he could; he doesn’t even know what he would say. There’s no reason for it. Why would he be holding your hand? Why would he travel in the back of the ambulance with you? It isn’t protocol and, for all Roy knows, Gator does not like you. He isn’t even supposed to know you. His father had warned Gator about you from the first time he had seen you.

“She’s a sinner that girl- I don’t want her corrupting you. Showing you her worldly ways, you are not to speak to her- y’hear me?” What Roy didn’t know is by that time, you’d already started sleeping together. Both of you taking the time to learn each other’s bodies intimately. You made Gator feel things he never had before but that didn’t matter- you were a dirty sinner. It never crosses Gator’s mind that he could be a sinner too.

The paramedic reemerges from the hospital and before Gator can intercept, she tells him that ‘his girlfriend’ is on ward 6.

“I’ve told her that you’ll be up soon to see her. She’s still a bit upset so maybe head up after you’ve finished speaking with the Sheriff” the paramedic is kind. Her words are soft and considered and her eyes look up at Gator as if he’s a great man. He hopes that this paramedic will keep Gator in her mind as an attentive and considerate partner. She may be the only person who would ever think of Gator Tillman in that way. Roy smiles at the paramedic but it doesn’t meet his eyes; Gator realises that his smile never does.

After she leaves, there’s a moment of silence. It feels too long and uncomfortable.

***

“I don’t know what’s happenin’ with you and that girl b-“

“Dad” Gator scoffs, as if the idea is ridiculous “nothin’s happenin’. I answered the call so I was there and y’know, I’m the Sheriff- it’s my job to make sure she’s safe. Well, not ju-“

Roy takes Gator’s shirt in his fists and slams him against the wall of the hospital. The thud of Gator’s head hitting the concrete echoes across the vacant space. Roy spits in Gator’s face as he whispers sternly, “Do not fuckin’ lie to me. You’re a worse fuckin’ liar than your fuckin’ mother”.

He can’t speak, as hard as Gator’s mouth tries to form words, it lets him down and makes him look weak in front of his father. Just as he did when he was younger; Gator takes the emotional beating from his father.

“You got a good christian woman at home and I don’t think that Glenda would want to hear about you in the back of an ambulance with her- agree?”

He nods, his mind is empty as all he feels is blind panic. Will Roy tell Glenda? As soon as he loses her, he loses his father’s approval- something he’s spent years cultivating. He can’t lose her; it’s not a choice. Roy robs him of the chance to speak.

Roy’s hand is firm on Gator’s shoulder, his fingers digging into the flesh. “What have I told you from day one about that girl, son?”. His eyes are unwavering on his son’s, Gator realises he has not seen his dad blink throughout this entire interaction.

“That she’s a sinner” it comes out too easy and Roy smirks in response. He’s made his father happy and he feels he can speak again. His chest not as tight as it felt a few moments ago.

Roy’s hand gets tighter on Gator’s shoulder and it begins to feel uncomfortable. “Tell me what you think of her” he nods to prompt Gator to speak. Gator briefly imagines if he could tell him the truth, how would he describe what he thinks of you? He’s unsure if he even allows himself to think about you when you’re apart. The thought of you living unfiltered in his mind is far too much. You need to be a box locked away in Gator’s depraved mind. There’s no key because it never needs opening.

He stutters as he goes to speak, “well…we all know what she’s like right? She’s a fuckin’ whore” Roy nods in encouragement as a shy smile breaks across Gator’s face. “Yeah, I mean, she’s probably dating about 10 different guys- right? I mean, I saw her with Jenson and then with some other fuckin’ guy like two days later. Glenda doesn’t like ‘er- thinks the same as me”.

Roy is content, his grip on his son’s shoulder eases as he smiles brightly at Gator. “We’re not gonna look for the guys that did this- didn’t happen. You were doin’ a routine check at the bar and that’s it. I’ve already told Williams that that’s what’s happened- I’ve sorted it for you, son”

Son.

That one syllable word is a warm blanket on a cold night. A ice cold glass of water in the hottest desert. A three course meal after a day of raw hunger.

Roy leads Gator away from you, he sits him in the patrol car and drives him home to Glenda. Glenda kisses his cheek softly at the doorway. She’s made a home cooked meal for her hardworking man. The meal tastes like ash on Gator’s tongue. He drinks whiskey to help him sleeps more than usual.

Meanwhile, you are laid alone in a hospital bed. Holding out hope that Gator will return, hopefully with the affection from the ambulance. But of course, Gator doesn’t come back to your room.

You don’t see him again whilst you're in the hospital.

He doesn’t text you for two weeks.

He turns up one late night when you’re back home, he asks if you’re ‘all good’ and you reply that you’ll be fine. You have sex that night and never acknowledge how tender he was to you in your time of need. You’re both rougher than usual, both craving to dominate the other and fuck them into submission. You have to make up for the unjustified kindness.

***

You never see how Gator spends his time off work. When he’s not with you, or with Glenda, or working- he’s trying to find out who did this to you.

He won’t stop searching until the person who did this is found in a ditch.

But you will never know.

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thezombieprostitute · 22 days

Text

Unwanted - Part 2

Summary: Your life is no longer yours. You've been forced into becoming a different species of human. Bought and paid for, what can you do but follow orders and obey your Alpha?

Warnings: Allusions to surgery, human trafficking, kidnapping; Angst; Depression; Suicidal thoughts. Let me know if I missed any!

A/N: Reader is described as big & tall, is female. No other descriptors required.

Part 1

Levinson leads you to car but you pause for a few moments. You haven't seen outside in so long. Tears start streaming down your face as you look at the sky.

"Omega!" Levinson barks. You duck your head in fear and quickly climb into the car. He gets in on the other side and knocks the partition, signalling the driver he's ready to go. "Buckle up," he tells you.

You're quick to comply. You can't do anything else because you feel so dead inside. Kidnapped, tortured, and rejected. What was the point of all of it? Why did you have to suffer so much for someone who doesn't want you? Why did he ask for someone like you? It doesn't matter anymore. All you can do is follow orders and try to shut your brain down. Like post-surgery healing and recovery, the training they put you through. Just shut up, shut down and comply. You don't even bother looking out the window, it would only further remind you of what you missed. What you're never allowed to do again.

Levinson keeps working on his phone. You can only tell because of the sounds. You can't remember the last time you held a phone. But it's not your place to think about it, now is it? You take a breath and catch hints of the driver's scent. He also smells like fire, but more controlled. Like a large bonfire at the beach instead of the wildfire next to you.

You hear the partition roll down. The driver says, "we're far enough away, Ari."

"Thanks, Johnny." Levinson puts his phone in his pocket and turns to you. "I'm Ari Levinson, with the Department of Defense." He pulls out his wallet and puts it on your lap, making sure you see his badge and ID. "They weren't supposed to actually find a candidate. It was a ploy to buy us time until we could get more intelligence on the operation."

You blink, whispering, "I...I was mistake?"

"We're going to take you to a community of others of our kind where you can get proper care."

"I was a mistake?" you say louder. The tears start pouring. You can't hold them back any further. It was bad enough when you weren't wanted but have your entire existence upended for a mistake? It was too much. You collapse into a sobbing pile.

"Told you to be gentler on her, Alpha," you hear Johnny say.

"Not much that I could do to soften the blow," Ari retorts. "Let her cry it out, she definitely needs it. Might want to get some food, too. I can hear her stomach growling from here and I'm sure it's making things worse for her."

"Okay," Johnny shakes his head. He pulls out his own phone and calls someone telling them to have some food prepped for your arrival in a half hour or so.

You're all cried out by the time you reach the gate. It looks like you're entering an army base. That fits with the Department of Defense stuff Ari said. Both men show their credentials and the car is allowed inside.

"We're going to get you some food before we catch our flight," Ari tells you. "Do not speak until after the plane lands. Understand?"

You nod and he accepts that. What choice do you have?

"For what it's worth, I know the guy who works the commissary here," Johnny offers. "He's an amazing cook!" Again, all you can do is nod.

You're let out of the car and walk between the men towards what is labelled as the Mess Hall. Levinson gestures for you and Johnny to sit at one of the long tables. While you do, he goes to the kitchen and comes out with a few trays of food. The entire time you've sat, Johnny's kept a hand on your shoulder, likely as a way to try to comfort you while also keeping others away.

Every so often, as you're eating, someone either brave, stupid or dared into it, tries to approach your little group. But either Johnny or Levinson gives them a look that has them think twice and move along. You don't know if there's some special Alpha power or if they're just that intimidating. You also can't bring yourself to care. At least the food is good, best you've had in ages.

Levinson checks his phone, "time to get moving. Flight is ready for us." Johnny helps you off of the bench and you assume your position between the two men.

When you're seated on the plane between them, you try to buckle up. It's definitely not a commercial flight and you're unsure of all the straps. Ari sees you having trouble and helps you out. Before he buckles himself in he whispers in your ear, "when we land, you will be properly taken care of by a real community. I owe you at least that."

Part 1

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly; @startcarvingdarling

#big & tall!reader #tall!reader #omega!reader #tall!omega #alpha!ari levinson #omegaverse #beta!johnny storm

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vodrae · 11 months

Note

Hello! Hope you don't mind me asking/I hope no-one has asked already, how would each one of the batfam react to meeting a cat at their doorstep? :D

Bruce: I think you are looking for Selina buddy, come inside, I'm calling her right away

Selina: Already there

Talia: Fufilled her girlhood desire to dress like a mafia godmother and to be paint with a black cat on her lap.

Barbara: Has PTSD for the rest of her life thinking about how close her wheel was from the cat's tail

Dick: Registers the cat as head of rodents control at BCPD, gives him a badge and a tie

Jason: Become that scary guy in the block with the tiniest kitty on his shoulder, with the softest voice ever to talk to it

Tim: Are you real ? Don't care. Come in.

Steph: MEOW MEOW MEOW

Cass: Puts the cat on her head and makes everyone believes it's in control.

Duke: Check the informations on the collar then proceed to ignore it

Damian: Do you swear to pledge your life to protect our community ? In the name of your new leader Alfred the Cat, you are now a citizen of the Manor.

Harley: hihi 3 kitties in the house

Poison Ivy: In hazmat suit besause she wants to pet the cat but plants are toxic for them

Alfred: Train it to be a service cat. It's impossible, but he did. The cat is now a licencied emotional support pet, he can call 911 or the Justice League.

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det-loki · 1 year

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I’ve always toyed with the idea of an x reader where you knew Loki in his youth, got split up for whatever reason, and found each other again because you both went into law enforcement :0 If that interests you I think you’d do a great job of fleshing it out :D

love this! thank you, and I'm sorry for the delay. hope you like it 🖤

tw: blood and panic attack mention

Children are born with an innocence, an ignorant imagination and concept of the world. sticky fingers dig through the mud, catching under their fingernails. Dark crescent moons of dirt signified a good day.

Now, the dirt caught under your nails made you physically ill. Hours ago, the frozen ground seemed to be your only life line as you heaved and gasped into the dirt, dried brown grass caressing your palms. Death was a violent lover. It clutched at you and held you until it swallowed you whole. Leaving only an imprint of what was.

You met him when you were a kid. Only innocence never got to be yours. At three years old, you went into foster care for the first time. Floated in and out since then. The facility you frequented the most was nestled right next to the Huntington Boys Home, a chain link fence the only divider. Conyers liked to advertise itself as a quiet community for the perfect family. The poor, lost souls of society were cornered away on the outskirts of town, unseen and unheard.

The year you turned thirteen changed everything for you. You met a boy along the fence line, dark hair overgrown and blue eyes piercing, he introduced himself as David. Parents were no good, he said. Lived with an uncle, didn't work out, he said. The boy smelled like cigarettes, blood long dried and caked over his bruised knuckles, his mouth tasted like whiskey and his eyes were stormy. And you loved it all.

Time changes things. At 18, you aged out of foster care and entered the world. Once unseen, unheard and unwanted, your soul burned with anger and spite. You were going to be seen, and they were going to hear you. You lost David at 16. One day, he just disappeared without a trace. You heard whisperings of assault charges, military school, and prison. But the story changed weekly. You had accepted his disappearance. He was just gone. And that was that.

You fell into the police academy haphazardly. An old social worker on your case had wormed her way into your head, telling you that you could help people the way you never were. Make a difference. Understand in a way most couldn't. Change things. Ten years later, you think she's full of shit.

Folders were piled high onto your desk, your badge digging into your skin as you were slumped over the paperwork. Eyes bleary and head pounding, David approaches from behind you. His hands tug at your office chair, the wheels screeching as he turns you to face him, "Go home."

"No. I'm busy." You try to turn back towards your desk but David's arms are caging you in, halting the chair from movement.

"You've been here since 4am. The only thing I've seen you eat is one granola bar, and you're doing that thing you used to do when we were kids."

You looked down to see your throbbing bloody thumb, an old habit you hadn't kicked. You picked and picked and picked until it was raw, bloody and infected. You noticed blood smudge on the corner of the papers at your desk and smeared into the fabric of your blouse. Shoving hands into the socket of your aching eyes, "Fine."

A glimmer of satisfaction washed over Loki's eyes, a smirk tugging at his lips, "I'll see you at home."

Home. After finishing the police academy, you were employed by the Conyers Police Department. A year on the job, and David reappeared. A police officer with cropped hair, a stony face, and the same stormy eyes. You two had been partnered together, Captain O’Malley unknowing of the history you two had shared. Not many words were spoken between you two until a close call that ended up with you in the hospital with a gunshot wound. David moved in that night after you were discharged from the hospital.

Years later, you two became the youngest detectives on the force. And the best. But you kept that quiet, the gnawing self doubt ate away at you, berating you constantly.

Unlocking the door to your home, you dropped the duffle bag at the door and toed off your boots. Making your way to the kitchen sink, you plunged your hands into too hot water and scrubbed away the dirt and blood until your skin was red. Your throat was scratchy from crying, your head pounding from exhaustion. The case you were working on was eating you alive. Two missing little girls. The latest lead had been a loss, a house full of scribbled mazes, a sink full of pigs blood and buried mannequins.

Showering did little to ease the tension in your body, the cheap beer and greasy pizza sprawled across the coffee table in front of you staved off the impending collapse another day longer. By the time David came home, your brain was fuzzy from the alcohol and you were falling into his embrace nestled into the couch.

The boy you met at thirteen was your savior, and 16 years later he still was. The world was crumbling around you, this case was consuming you, but David was with you. And tomorrow will always be there.

#jake gyllenhaal #detective loki #prisoners #detective loki imagine #jake gyllenhaal imagine #detective loki x reader #jake gyllenhaal x reader

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disabilitybitch · 4 months

Text

WHY I AM NO LONGER A SYSTEM:

Short Answer:

I’m not comfortable in the current state of the system community and do not want to be personally associated with it any longer. Therefore, I’m dropping the label and just identifying as a person with DID.

Long Answer:

I’ve always been of the belief that words can change meaning as society evolves. I like to stay open about how new generations use words and invent new slang. Definitions change over time as short as decades and I like to stay open and welcome this change no matter what. I do not want to end up like the conservatives who run this country and diminish the language and autonomy of young folk simply because I don’t understand it.

That being said, sometimes, a definition of something I used to happily be will no longer fit my needs, my identity, my politics, or even my morals.

This is the case with being a system.

When I first discovered the system community, I was quickly swooped into the embrace of the anti-endo community and for that I am forever thankful for. They defended me and guided me. They educated me so I could help spread the education to other curious people. It used to be nice here.

Well, the definition of what a system is, is changing. I used to wear being ‘anti-endogenic systems’ like a badge of honor. Now, I don’t know what there is left to defend in the system community. The definition of what a system even is has changed so much because of endogenics and their supporters that I don’t even recognize it as something I could be anymore.

Of course, I could still be anti-endogenic, and I am but, what is there left to fight for in this community too? People using my own disabilities against endos (who are usually just confused kids) in the name of defending me? The amount of people who claim to be anti-endogenic and pro-trauma survivors that I see calling endogenics and their supporters, retarded, narcissistic, delusional, schizophrenic, etc. is unforgivable. You are not defending trauma survivors by doing this. This has made me feel actively unsafe in the anti-endo community. I’ve unfollowed anti endo tags because it’s clear to me that I am nothing but a scapegoat at best and an unwanted stereotype at worst.

So, I thought for a very very short period. I thought; “Maybe pro endogenics are onto something. Maybe this is just what the future of systemhood holds. If I want to continue to identify as a system, well, maybe I need to include the broader scope of people who identify with the same word as I do.”

This was, of course, very very short lived. There’s another option - to just not be a system anymore. Now, I still have alters obviously. I still dissociate, I still have trauma, I still have identity struggles, and hell sometimes I even still use we/us. It’s just that, there’s no place for me, for us, in the system community anymore. Very small pockets of people that I just adore, but it feels so few and far between to try and find these pockets.

So, henceforth, I’m not a system. Being a system is no longer a part of my greater identity and is now just a disorder that I have. I have DID. That’s it. No system. Just DID.

Endogenics and their supporters can ruin what it means to be a system. I give up the fight. Anti-Endogenics can continue down this path to become the very ableist we used to claim to hate. I will not be there for either. I refuse to be.

Endogenics and their supporters can claim to be systems without a disorder all they want. They successfully stole that word from me. But they can never claim to have a disorder and not be disordered. They can try (like the radqueers) and they can face extreme backlash from anyone with critical thinking skills. They can take alters. They can take system roles. They can take it all but, DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder, is the one thing they can never take from me. I am a person who has DID. I’m dissociative. I’m an amnesiac. I’m disordered. I’m disabled. And I’m not afraid to say it. You can have the term “system” because I don’t need it to describe the struggles I face.

Anti-Endogenics used to be safe for me, but not anymore. They have successfully pushed me from the community. But honestly, I don’t need it. I don’t need to display that I’m anti-endo when facts back it up. Language changes and “system” means something disgusting to me now. That’s just a fact. You can't have DID without trauma, and that’s just a fact. So, why would I need to be an active part of a community that hates and hurts me for how my trauma manifested? The answer is I don’t and I won’t. You can leave me out of being anti-endo because the facts are evident. I don’t need to explain myself.

All that being said, I think the system community is harmful. I do not support non-traumagenic systems of any kind. The way that they make traits and symptoms of disabling and potentially life threatening disorders that manifest in childhood from severe and repeated trauma is awful. Truly disgusting. It’s ignorance at best, and distasteful and purposeful mockery at worst.

Of course, if you have DID/OSDD in some form and still choose to use terms like “system” and “alters” and use system roles or even use we/us, then by all means do. If you like this language then use it. It was yours first and you are allowed to use it’s original meaning.

I will make a DNI post eventually with what this blog will serve as a safe space for and what I am actively against.

So, for now; Do not interact with me if you are an endogenic system. Pro endogenics who are traumagenic in nature, fine. I could care less.

Do not interact with me if you use “delusional” to describe endogenic systems. Anti-endo or not. You don’t make me feel safe.

Like I said before, I’m not trying to get anyone to change their language if they like calling themself a system. However, I encourage considering it. Consider dropping being a system and just identifying with your disability.

Of course there will always be bad apples, people with CDDs who will continue to be ableist, as is with all disorders. I just feel like if we band together not as anti-endos or endo neutrals or anything, just as people with CDDs, we’ll make a safer community and weed out those bad people faster… Hopefully.

Because I can always drop “system” and “anti-endo”, but my CDD is lifelong. My CDD isn’t going anywhere no matter who shares my disability.

#did system #endos dni #traumagenic system #dissociative amnesia #actually dissociative #dissociative identity disorder #complex dissociative disorder #dissociative disorder

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profounddefendorcrusade-blog · 3 months

Text

Starlo's personality (in-depth)

Okay, this one took a LOT of thinking to decide on. Mainly because we see Starlo 100% in his persona for the majority of the time we spend with him. But now, I think I've had my boy figured out.

For a while now, I thought that he's either an ENTP or an ESTP with well-developed Fe, but eventually realized I had been looking at the image he put on, not the real him.

But before dwelling deeper into what his way of thinking actually is, I'd like to discuss why I don't think he's either ENTP or ESTP.

For ESTP, it's more obvious. Starlo… doesn't use Se at all, let alone as his dominant function. He lives in fantasy. He can come up with goofy ideas, and doesn't pay much attention to the "real world" (tries to escape from the real world instead)

fantasy, not reality (Ceroba is a true realist though)

Starlo only pretends to be this 'tough guy,' his recklessness (I always call it carelessness) is part of the persona. And while I do think some part of him enjoys the fake adventures, it's mostly for show, to lift himself and others around him up, particularly Ceroba, and to feel like someone else.

Now... the conclusion I came to was that Star had both Ne and Fe somewhere. The only question I had to ask myself was the order of these functions. In other words, is he dominant Ne/tertiary Fe or dominant Fe/tertiary Ne

The most important question here is: "What is his main motivation?"

Starlo cares a whole bunch about everyone around him. I feel like I've spoken about this so many times already, but he really is the 'papa bear' of the whole group. He makes sure to remind Mooch how they're not bandits, he gave the Four their own nap time, he organizes events, and overall tries to make the Wild East a comfortable place for everyone. Starlo really, REALLY wants to see everyone get along well with each other, and when that doesn't happen... he's deeply bothered by it.

he hates it when there's no harmony and good vibes

Put bluntly, Starlo wants to contribute to his community. He most definitely thought something like this: "If I'm just a farmer, then I can't do anything to help myself feel less worthless, and I can't help other monsters have more hope, either. So, the only thing left for me to do is change most of my personality and be more 'flashy' and 'cool."

Sure, he comes up with creative ideas, but it isn't his main motivation or how he normally acts when he's not 'North Star'. Being all 'extravagent' is the dominant trait of the character Starlo plays (and personally, I think it is a part of Starlo himself, the part he's too afraid to let out if he's his true nerdy self, without the costume and badge and all)

--------------------

ESFJ: thinks in terms of group dynamics, motivates others to get things done, makes decisions that benefit the largest number of people, natural ability to process and deal with their feelings. On the negative side, they can place so much emphasis on social dynamics / emotions that they find it hard to step back and analyze their motives and feelings; thus they can lack self-understanding and/or pressure others into social norms. They use their Ne to brainstorm and for humor purposes; often to entertain others, to think up solutions, and to hypothesize, but their natural ability is not competently and accurately reading between the lines.

--------------------

I'd like to break this down carefully because, holy hell, this is Starlo from A to Z

thinks in terms of group dynamics/makes decisions that benefit the largest number of people - clear as day, that's why he has his posse (although I think this trait of his was underdeveloped during the events of UTY as Star probably made most of the decisions himself without asking the others)

motivates others to get things done

pressure others into social norms - technically his own social norms, also the dress conditions he never used to overlook (I also heard ESFJs have style and care about how they appear to others, ENTPs don't; but maybe this is generalization)

find it hard to step back and analyze their motives and feelings - Star turns to the outside world instead, not inwards at all. That's what makes him an extrovert, NOT because he's friendly and social (although he is)

They use their Ne to brainstorm and for humor purposes; often to entertain others - when I read ENTERTAIN OTHERS it all became clear to me

their natural ability is not competently and accurately reading between the lines - he can't even do it and has to directly ask ⬇️

Extra thoughts

What I've also heard about the ESFJ type is that they really REALLY care about their social status/standing when unhealthy, which Star 120% did

It might seem weird that he's a sensor while also being super creative and into ideas, but that's his high tertiary Ne speaking (no wonder it's so high when he's been using it for years)

ESFJs are super charming too, but in a less 'agressive' way like ESTPs (I thought about Dina and Mo, I think they both share this type), or 'witty' way like ENTPs (Sans comes to mind). In others words, Starlo is the 'sweet nerd' kind of charming

ESFJs are bad at dealing with criticism

Can become workaholics (ESTPs and ENTPs are more procastinators; again, I don't mean to generalize)

They're clumsy, too (because of the tertiary Ne; unlike ESTPs, who are grounded in reality and most often aren't clumsy thanks to the dominant Se)

Popular people in leadership positions

Excellent planners (I know Star seems like a percieving type, but as I mentioned above, he actually organizes EVERYTHING)

this makes me think Star has a certain routine (judging over percieving)

He remembers little details about things that happened last month (in the past), making me think of his auxiliary Si (and he also remembers what Ed had said about Clover "being the problem")

So, what makes Starlo inferior Ti? The guy refuses to go inwards to solve his problems. He doesn't think that the most logical solution to the 'whole gang splitting up' situation is a simple apology, and is extremely self critical. Ti has the potential to disrupt or shatter one’s ego-image. Therefore, unhealthy or immature Fe-doms do their utmost to reject Ti in order to protect their ego-image. What this means for Starlo is that he wants to protect his persona in favor of what makes sense for him to do.

Starlo putting himself down™

Fe will use Ti to construct “rational” explanations to confirm poor judgments about people or relationships. In other words, Fe will develop a maladaptive tendency to misinterpret people’s intentions, see ulterior motives that do not exist, or project their own personal issues onto others. Starlo "logically" thinks that everything was Clover's fault, he's projecting his own insecurities into this situation (playing the victim) and twisting Ed's words (who meant to say that Starlo's favorism OF Clover is the problem, not Clover themself)

Not objective, but Starlo and Clover LOOK to me like the types I gave them (based on the offical trailers AND how Martlet describes them, that kid has this kind of a cute/warm/naive expression, I don't even know how to explain this but I'm throwing it in anyway 😅)

Then there's Starlo

I know the 'North Star' part of him probably wouldn't wanna hear this, but without the persona, Starlo looks and is... pretty normal. No flashiness, no overwhelming charm (it's still there, just more 'humble' & as Ed said, he can make his own fun in the little things). As much as Star might think otherwise thanks to those insecurities, this doesn't mean he ain't special, we all know he is

P.S. I can totally picture him treating everyone with Feisty Sliders & root beer after a long day, just like this guy (who somehow gives me the same cozy, kind vibe as Starlo???)

but in all seriousness though, these traits fit Star 💯

#I love this nerd so much I want to squeeze him and kiss him on the cheek #huge sweetheart alert #uty #undertale yellow #starlo uty #uty starlo #starlo #north star #uty clover #clover uty #uty feisty five #character analysis #long post #it also makes sense for his character that Star's not a “cool” mbti but a more underrated one

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mariamariquinha · 4 months

Text

Versos de Placer (Colonel Carrillo x f!reader) - Fourteen

Summary: A letter for you.

Word count: 5.3k

Warnings: Bad words, slight violence, more daddy issues, fluff, mention of sickness, some angst and... did I say fluffl?

Author’s Note: Oof, I really thought about how would I say goodbye to this story. There's so much I want to say, but for now I hope the words I wrote here makes some difference in what we build as a small community of mutual interest in writing and appreciating what we had of Carrillo.

Quite a journey to get here, right? And I should thank everyone for each conversation, each comment and appreciation towards this. As a non-English speaker, bring all of this here had been a challenge, but one I accepted with love.

As always, I hope I could give a good end for this love story. See ya!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Join my taglist! Don’t forget to reblog, comment and like! As always, I would love to know what you’re all thinking! ❤

******

I wish I had done it differently, yes, but I don't think you should forgive me anyway. You don't know me and, by extension, you have every right to doubt my nature. Honestly, I recognize that that letter changed my life, as it reaffirmed that even though I’m in front of bullets or knives or big violent men every day, I’m still my father's daughter, which makes me a coward.

The Sun was burning your scalp a little, so you scratched the top of your head now and again because the heat was bothering you. From afar, you saw the small commotion in front of the building: people going out and about, fuzzing over each other. He didn’t exactly tell you where he was staying (you didn’t ask either), but the badge could do some convincing, such as your name. At least you hoped so.

You looked at both sides of the street before crossing and, when you did, you ended up bumping into a girl – you apologized, even if a little bewildered, and she said everything was fine with a smile that you hadn't seen in those surroundings for a long time. That caught you a little by surprise, so you watched her go with a dumb expression in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Permiso,” Excuse me, You said, approaching the doorman who was sitting in the empty lobby with his arms crossed.

He was cooperative and friendly, but said he wasn't sure if there would be anyone with that name there because the Americans were already leaving. Still, he called the hamal in apartment 15 (you saw him do it over his shoulder) and, shortly after, said that you were lucky and could come up.

Your father was already at the door when the elevator arrived and, for a moment, the two of you stood there for almost a minute just staring at each other without saying anything, as if you were meeting for the first time. He knew there was something you wanted to say that was unconventional, at least by the way he looked you up and down suspiciously, but he didn't give in to asking the question. With a gesture of his head, your father suggested (not offered, suggested) for you to come closer and you did so, just like when you were a child and had to ask permission to sit at the dinner table to eat.

The apartment itself was already empty, except for a few pieces of furniture that were still scattered around and would probably be collected later. The floor creaked a little because it was made of parquet and the walls were obviously old – weird for someone with so much 'caliber', but you understood that maybe it was just a disguise for the neighbors.

“I still have a bottle of whiskey around here somewhere,” He said, even if not moving a muscle to reach for the said thing.

“I’m good,” You shook your head, in time to see him agreeing silently.

An awkward silence followed the decline. With that, you gave yourself another chance to look around and find something to comment on before going straight to the point.

“When is your flight?”

“In about three hours,” He shrugged. “I believe that the Embassy didn’t ask you to give me a ride like the first time.”

“You would know if they did,” You smile didn’t quite reach your eyes. He saw that and responded the same way, even pulling a chair out of the small table in the living room to make himself comfortable for a confrontation.

“What is it then? Did I forget to file some paperwork or something? Because if that's the case, I have to let you know that I-”

“Were you the one who killed Juan Marcos?”

The question caught him off guard, but not in a harsh way – he probably felt more outrage for the fact that you interrupted him, something he never took quite well. For a moment, then, your father just stared back at you, then scoffed as if you were stupid.

“Thinking about leaving flowers on his grave before you leave?”

“I don't think your moral compass is adjusted enough for you to remember which ditch you used to dispose of his body,” You crossed your arms over your chest, not failing for a moment to spit out your thoughts.

“Don't be moralistic.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’ve just been in this hell for so long, right? Catching criminals, doing the dirty work… that’s enough for you to give me some answers.”

Again, a bit of quietness, but a contemplative one. He had that easy expression on his face, as if you two were discussing the weather, one that always put you on the edge of pure rage. You waited patiently, tho.

“... I did.”

“How.”

“You saw him, you know how.”

“Is this the kind of thing you would do for a daughter?”

“It is, because I did,” He said calmly. “Is this some kind of intervention? This is what you want? Resolve all the frustrations you have with me now, hours before I, what’s that you said? Disappear from your life?”

You looked at him with pursed lips, feet tapping on that stupid floor to prevent any more unwanted feelings. It felt like the Sun was burning your scalp again, so you unconsciously scratched that area again before rolling your shoulders and staring at him with a stone cold expression – one you certainly got from his side of the family. The question was there, burning in your lungs and throat, ready to leave your mouth and make him lose that sarcastic smile on his face.

“... Would you do that for a son?”

The decline in his comfort was gradual, progressive, millimetric. The corners of his mouth lowered into a straight line, his jaw tightened, and his eyes darkened intensely. You flexed your fingers discreetly, trying to hide your defensive posture with the possibility of another aggressive approach on his part, but all he did was access you cautiously while looking for the justification for your question in the way you stood there, in front of him.

“What did you do?” He frowned, probably not sure of the end of that topic.

“Me? Nothing,” You shrugged, head shaking. “Your son did.”

Your father rose from his seat with a harsh scrape of the chair but you kept still, glaring back at him. He could come closer, could do what he did in the office; it wouldn’t happen, though. You both knew, somehow, that someone was his weak point, the thing that couldn’t make him have good nights of sleeping for a reason you’ll never understand.

That made you scoff a laugh before averting your gaze.

“Now you know how it is.”

“Oh, so that’s what it is? Revenge?” His voice was so harsh, so taken by reticence and rage, that it made him static in a certain type of fury.

“I think my best revenge was knowing that you got what you wanted most and he was nothing like what you expected,” You took one step closer, then another, and you two stood there, eye to eye. “Can you imagine? Being your son and having decency?”

“You better-”

“I better what? What, dad? Shut my mouth? Stop talking about Jorge? Or should I wait until you give me the first blow?”

Nothing. He stood there like a bull, fuming and grinding his teeth – no hand raised, no closed fists.

“You asked what I want with all this, with this drama… I never expected anything I discovered about your life to be ethical or clean. You do whatever you want,” You shrugged again, this time going full exaggerated with a fake coy expression. “What I want is for you to take that plane, go back to the States and spend the rest of your days thinking of how your beloved son couldn’t be any more different than you in anything, better than you in anything and a man you’ll never be even closer to be. All that while being raised by a whore.”

The slap was a familiar feeling, like that specific side of your face had a shape to fit his open hand like a glove. Even the movement of your head, the mixing of your insides, it had a natural way to flow, to go this way or another. Still, you’d been caught by surprise, so next thing you knew, your gum was bleeding – you could taste blood on the tip of your tongue, see it on the tip of your fingers when you assessed the small damage. It had the sting, the sharp pain, but that didn’t get a rise out of you.

“That’s what you told him? That I’m your bad father who didn't beat you enough to give you good manners?”

“... Why would I need good manners? I’m a whore, right? Good manners wouldn’t make me fuck Carrillo like I wanted to and you couldn’t do shit to stop it,” That came out with such a force. “In all my life, nothing made me more happy than to trespass your limits as much as I could, to make you show your true colors and still put that scary expression on your face.”

With this, you took a few steps back, adjusting your clothes and smiling, the inside of your mouth and your teeth probably red from the blood.

“Take that plane, go back home. I know that you’ll lie in your bed tonight knowing that you’ll have the same future as that damned Juan Marcos, alone in a grave that no one’ll visit.”

It was as if thousands of years and hurt had finally created the courage to leave your shoulders, as if all the suffering he put your mother through had transformed into a controlled and punctual fury in your heart. A return. An end. And you left there knowing that, with that, you closed a cycle that gave you a happiness more sincere than Escobar's dead body on that roof.

******

Two days before…

You weren’t with your work clothes, so the heat was more bearable with the tank top. The worn out jeans were still there, just as the old boots, and just as the gun and badge. Habits. Carrillo looked at you beside him in the car, arms crossed with the stance of that old self, full Colonel mood of his.

“Are you sure the info is relatable? Safe?”

“I am. Do you want me to bring all of the Colombian Army to this when you all should be celebrating something out there?” You turned to him with a teasing smile, seeing the frown on his face getting even more deeper. “Horacio-”

“Some of them are still out there. You should at least let Trujillo do a-”

“You’re already here with me, Horacio, and this is already too much. There’s people who need you right now.”

Instead of answering, he let you hold his toned arms, then both sides of his neck to melt some of his stubbornness in avert your gaze. Not getting a reaction, you tilted your head to get a better look of his face, jaw tightening in insistence, which made you sigh and let him go.

“You don’t know him,” He said.

“I’m aware.”

“And we’ve been through enough to be suspicious.”

“I’m aware,” You insisted, brows raised. “To be honest, I don’t know if I wanna do this but… If it’s him, if… I need to be sure.”

“Why?”

For a moment you just stared at his confused expression, not knowing the right answer to that – not sure if you had one. Then you pursed your lips, shook your head and averted his eyes to look through the window, where you could see the small house from afar.

“... When my father left, my mother kind of disappeared. Mentally. It was as if the lights were on but no one was home,” Your tone was recoiled, way too low for someone so confident about their decisions. “He said some things to her, said this country was hell but even some cheap pussy could give him what he wanted. I honestly didn’t even know why he needed so much to have a son.”

You could feel Carrillo watching you carefully while you used that false calmness to explain what you wanted to say clearly.

“This made me spend time with my paternal grandparents because she couldn't bear to see me. I was a very complicated, restless child, so when my grandfather started using the old methods he used with my father and uncles when I messed up, I understood why he wanted a boy.”

You felt a weight on your chest, one that almost made you cry.

“At least I think I understand. He wanted to take out the frustrations of what he went through on someone and I was a girl, so naturally I couldn't handle punishment or fits of rage. I would have marks like my mother had and that would make things more complicated for his conscience. A boy could be molded to be strong, resilient. I was always too emotional for him.”

Like the perpetuation of the species to whom he could transfer descendants or something like that. Bullshit.

“I understand. Well, at least I think I would be that kind of person if things weren't different.”

“I don't think it's the same thing,” You shook your head. “You're here, that's more than he's ever done.”

“Because I love you.”

“And if you had children, you would love them too.”

Carrillo didn’t say anything. The idea of children only crossed his mind when he was younger, as soon as he married Juliana, and it seemed so distant that he forgot what it would be like to imagine a life with children. You didn't want that, that's for sure; Given the life you two had, it would even be selfish to bring a child into the world. And even if the car was so quiet, so… calm, Carrilo always had the feeling that someone was lurking, and he felt bad for thinking that, in another time, he would be the same type of father as your father was.

You could feel, little by little, how his hand sneaked closer to yours, the tip of his fingers carefully passing through your knuckles before going up to your wrist. It was so soft, the way he touched you to test the water, to not invade your space, that when his hand reached for your forearm, pulling you just enough to make you turn to him, nothing could stop you from hugging him as if your life depended on it, pressing against his body fiercely.

He didn't say anything because he didn't know how to say anything, because it wasn't like hearing the news that your father was coming to Colombia. Horacio was never good with soothing words. He knew how to act, that's for sure; in that case, if it were possible, if that sliver of humanity were to come away from him once and for all, your father would become a ghost like everyone else.

Well, but you already knew that – he had told you that when he recovered you from another low blow from your father. Selfishly, Horacio would always do his best to create miles of distance between the things he truly loved and those who risked any trace of peace he had achieved. And maybe you didn't know this, but he had made this promise to himself.

I'm not going to lose anymore, Horacio pressed you tighter against him, staring at the wall with the coldness of his decision. I don’t accept that.

“Let’s do this.”

******

I imagine to this day that you would never like Horacio. You always seemed too ‘communist’, progressive enough, but you would laugh until your stomach hurt at how stubborn he was. Still, I don't want to convince you to like him; I just want to tell you that it wasn't him who told me to leave before I could see you that day. You were fine, you were beautiful (I still know you are) and you were holding a baby in your lap, which I later realized was that of one of the patients you saved during an emergency birth. I was only there for 30 minutes and I heard people say more good things about you than they could ever say about me in my entire life. That's when I knew I had to leave you alone.

I cried in his arms later; I would cry a lot more in the years that followed, but I reserved every minute of my future life, the life I never planned for myself, to gather all the memories of what I could tell you one day. No, I'm not dying, at least not from my health, because you know that everyone dies one day, but I've been writing to you because I want you to know that you don't deserve the family you have because you're too good for us.

I want to tell you about Horacio. I want to tell you what we did and how I miss some things in life. I want to tell you this because I know he could be a solid bridge between the two of us, the person who would interpret you for me and interpret me for you. My mother would never be able to do it because of resentment, our father because of disregard and we because of ignorance.

Horacio, however, was my surprise during the time I spent in Medellín. If I want you to know me, I want to be able to reveal my best side, what I truly achieved when I decided I would love him.

******

It was strange not having plans, but you got on the plane alone. Horacio couldn't go with you, not at that moment; there was love between you, yes, but there was also responsibility, and he would never leave his own country behind. You understood. During the time you spent in Bogotá (not in Medellín), the two of you did things together: went out to dinner, visited places, had sex… Things that couples did. When you got on the plane, it was with the uncertainty that things would one day be okay, and that you would be able to reconcile life in Los Angeles with what had happened to the two of you in Colombia.

This was our father's fault and I'm completely sure of that. I was disallowed from having any further contact with the case, which I understood as private revenge for what I did, as if he wanted to take away more of the happiness you could have had if you were to work with Peña and Horacio later. I always resented him for that, I still do. Maybe it wasn't the worst thing he had done and today I know it wasn't, but it was as if every minute of my life, he took away a little of my happiness.

The letters you exchanged were always long, which went quite against his personality. It was as if, finally, he said in words everything he thought, did and gave his opinion. On your part, there were important descriptions, such as how much your mother was fond of him and the cases you worked on at the DEA. He, on the other hand, mentioned the well-known day to day life with Peña, what they worked on and how he missed you, above all, which hurt your heart.

“God, you have to put an end to this. I want to see you happy again, my daughter, and I want to meet him.”

In one of them, which was a call, he told you something that he kept so deeply within himself that he was certain that, one day, he would come back to you for good and that there would be no turning back.

“I want to marry you. I see no other choice and I have no other way out. I need to assure myself that I’ll no longer have to tolerate this ordeal without knowing that I’ll come home and find you.”

“Don't be so dramatic... I know people who would find our obstacles small compared to what they go through. I’ll wait for you, no matter how long it takes.”

“So wait. The next time we see each other, I'll have a ring to put on your finger.”

You know, I always thought he was a brute, but Horacio never failed to keep his promises. In fact, he came back with a ring, and we actually got married, which was a simple thing that meant enough to both of us. We moved to El Paso. It was close to Peña, in fact, and sometimes we spent holidays together, which I never thought would happen. Maybe, thinking about it now, it's those moments that I miss most.

“Is that white hair?”

“Fuck off, we both know we’re getting old,” You elbowed Javier in the guts, puffing smoke in the Texan hot air. “By the way, you’re getting a belly down there. Don’t come at me.”

“What I gained, you lost. Have you been eating?”

No was the proper answer. He knew it was, and that was why he asked. Still, you shrugged, taking another drag.

“... Yes.”

“Hey-”

“I am, Javi, I promise. It's just been different.”

“I hope so. One of you needs to remain standing.”

It was around the time our father passed away. Well, I can't say for sure if it was too close or too far, especially since he fulfilled his own mission of dying alone. I didn't have the opportunity to talk after he got sick; I didn't even know if he had someone. Today I'm almost the same age as he was when I was in Medellín and I can't see him in myself, while I don't know if I would live my life differently if he asked me for forgiveness. Below I leave exactly where he is buried and, if you want, you can visit him. If you're the praying type, decide if it makes sense to give him the privilege of prayer; God knows I'd like that too.

******

At that point of things, you made fun of Horacio for not actually marrying you like the tradition said, just giving you the ring he promised he would, but you understood that the world didn't survive on big events like that.

When he found out what the diagnosis was, you went straight to the computer and did your research. It wasn't that you didn't believe the doctors, but the first step to acceptance was denial, and you knew how to do that very well. At the time, you had just been promoted to an important position in Mexico. You found a good doctor there who could treat him, and the offer didn't get as much back-up as you thought it would – it was like he thought he was going to die.

It was a very different change than it had been when you went to Colombia years before. There was no urgency, no hustle, just the tranquility of a bureaucratic job with a good house, space for a yard and a good salary.

“It's in the early stages, so it's a relatively simple treatment. The change in routine and habits will be more severe, so I would be more attentive to that.”

You decided to stop smoking along with him because of this and, deep down, Horacio was a little upset at having to stop this habit.

“I don't know, I just feel embarrassed,” He said one night, you two sitting on the porch because he wanted to take a look at the street. “I didn't imagine that my life would end without emotion.”

“You won't die like this, stop being an idiot.”

“How can you know?”

“Well, because I just know.”

Not every day was easy and, honestly, coming to Mexico was the acid test for many things in my life. Interestingly, I never thought about giving up Horacio, and if I was honest with myself, I also thought that one day I would die from a gunshot or something that would make newspaper headlines. He would never admit it, and neither would I, because it seemed inconceivable, but having that life made us feel grateful and, most of all, lucky.

It was also at this time that I decided to get back in touch with you. He made a promise that if he was cured of cancer, he would include forgiveness for his own past, so we started slowly. I met Juliana (and the three children she had), and I started visiting our father almost religiously every year. We went back to Texas to see Javi, and sometimes we went to Miami to visit Steve. Horacio had reservations about my country, but he could appreciate some things that I think you might like too.

Jorge, I know that our life could have been different and I, as an older sister, feel responsible for being able to give you some glimpses of life with a family up here that loves you, because I would like that too. Along with these letters, I also send tickets to the capital, for you and your husband, if you want to visit us. Horacio is a great tour guide and I, interestingly enough, learned to be a great hostess.

I apologize for having done all this so late. Well, apologies are never enough, but I feel that this phase of my life, the phase of gray hair and wrinkles on my face, terribly nicknamed 'better years', is the right time for the two of us to reconcile for someone who left us behind.

I miss what we didn't have. Even if you don't want to, which I understand, know that my life is only complete because I know that a part of me is also in you.

******

“Appealing to nostalgia?”

Horacio barely raised his head from where he was staring at a box full of old trinkets. Through the mess of the office, he went straight to the memories of Medellín, rooting around and reliving the years in the dust, and he seemed focused enough to barely pay attention to you.

You could say that the guests were already arriving, that he should take a shower soon to welcome them, but the scene seemed so peaceful that you were afraid to interrupt and decided to participate.

“You have that perfume again,” He murmured right when you touched a framed picture of him and Trujillo alongside other stuff.

“Does that bother you?” You eyed him over your eyeglass lenses, to which he tsked and shook his head.

“You’re also appealing to nostalgia.”

“Huh, I remember that was the first thing you noticed about me when we met.”

Horacio then looked back at you and, seeing your mischievous smile, smiled back, leaning back on the chair to give you full attention.

“You drove me crazy, that's what.”

“I didn't know that was the effect it had on you. In fact, I was sure you hated me.”

“Because I couldn't want you and I wanted you.”

You left the frame in the box and walked over to him, walking around the table to sit on his lap, which he gladly accepted. For a few moments, you stood there, motionless, staring at his face, not knowing exactly what to say, just… admiring him, the grays on his hair and the lazy grin splattered there.

“What are you thinking?” He asked then, always eager to get inside your head.

“I always imagine that we wouldn't be here if we didn't live what we lived there,” You pondered, a hand massaging the side of his neck. “And it's weird because people have lost so much. Do you think we deserve it?”

“Is this part of your reconciliation process?”

“Yeah, I guess. I've been thinking about some things... I'm writing you a letter, even.”

“But I'm not going anywhere.”

“I know,” You pecked his lips softly. “Who knows, maybe I can express it with words instead of hiding it on paper.”

Horacio stared at you for a bit, his brow furrowed and the mechanisms moving in his head. You thought it was strange.

“What?”

“I want to read you something.”

You got up so he could look for what he was finding, and when he did, he took a notebook out of a box, accompanied by yellowed sheets of paper.

“I wrote these things while we were in Colombia.”

“And what exactly is it?”

“In the beginning, it was a diary of missions and operations that we carried out. The day you arrived, I ended up writing 'perfume' instead of 'precision', which made me realize that the feeling wouldn't leave my head. I didn't stop thinking about you after that, so I started… I don't know, writing down things about you, what you did, what irritated me and what I liked.”

There was no way to react, more out of shock than offense at him having kept it in for so long. You imagined a Carrillo from the past, a thousand times more stubborn and stubborn, taking the time to write about a woman he couldn't stand. Maybe sitting alone at night in the office, cigarette in one hand and whiskey in the other, mumbling swear words while saying he liked something about you, disbelieving his own feelings.

Then he took that photo that Steve had taken, which he stole and caused temporary chaos with your colleagues. You, younger, tired but with a spark of life, an eagerness to do the right things.

You watched him as he looked at the photo and felt a warm feeling in your heart that seemed more frequent since you started having more moments together.

When he started reading what he wanted, you could barely move.

“I don't know what this woman did to me and I try hard every day not to ruin everything because I think about her so much. The perfume drives me crazy, the defiant eyes impress me and, oh my, lately I've noticed how incredibly mind-blowing those jeans make her. I have no one to express these feelings to, perhaps because I can't say in words what I imagine when I think of her.”

“Today she told me to go fuck myself. I had to suppress my satisfying smile when I saw that fire in her eyes when she spat those words in my face, because I purposely provoked her into being angry with me, thinking I wanted a reason to get her away from me. In the end, I know that that exact reaction was what I wanted, that she will never give up because she is too stubborn to do so. She goes to the end. She is true to what she believes. I'm sure I'm in love.”

“If nothing were as it were, I would ask her to dinner. I would see her eyes light up in the candlelight, I would make all the romantic moves and show a side of me that no one knows. I want to see her confused, I want to surprise her, and then I want to kiss her, make love to her, and feel every inch of that sweaty skin beneath my fingers while I see her sigh with the pleasure I'm going to offer. I want her, I want her so much, and I feel bad for every kind of thought I might have about her.”

“I call these verses, then. Versos de Placer, in my mother tongue, one that she knows how to say and that is even more beautiful when it comes out of her mouth. Verses that I will never be able to recite out loud, not to her, but I will be able to remember as the spark of a good memory of the complicated days we spent hating ourselves because the world we are in is destroying us. Always her, and never anyone who isn't her or who even looks like her.”

“Always her and her perfume and her accent and her presence. Always.”

******

No pressure tags:

@cheesybadgers

@thesandbeneathmytoes

@616wilsons

@nessamc

@thoroughlymodernminutia

@padbrookcottage

@seaweeden

#horacio carrillo #colonel carrillo #horacio carrillo x reader #colonel carrillo x reader #narcos #narcos fic #narcos fandom #maurice compte #female reader

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pinkpinkmermayyy · 6 months

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posers in the coquette community remind me of the posers in the punk community, they’re basically the same type of people in different fonts and styles. Punk posers would try to push this narrative that being punk is about being “kind and sweet” when that’s literally the opposite. Do you actually think the word itself, PUNK, which is usually used to describe someone being REBELLIOUS, SNARKY AND ALL AROUND JERK, going to be about BEING KIND AND SUGARY SWEET???? HUH????? And they’d also get mad when they realize that anarchism and being very much against the government is basically integrated into the punk subculture and try to make conservative ideology the “new punk” just makes them look stupid to actual punks. I have a mutual (@punkeropercyjackson) who’s a bit more knowledgeable on the punk subculture so I might need to go to them for more information.

But it’s the same with the coquette posers. They’ll scream that coquette is only for the “correct” type of people (white, skinny, cis, straight and very gender conforming teenage girls) and will harass anyone else who doesn’t fit that category of people who also post coquette stuff. They’ll also restrict what type of styles are and aren’t coquette as if they’ve received an honorary badge to be the new coquette fashion police who will insult anyone who doesn’t fit their strict criteria. And when people call them out on this, and call them the posers they are, those same people will just say to “stop caring so much” and that they should “calm down” to make themselves look rational while making the person calling them out look insane and rude when they aren’t. Also god forbid you call them out for being fatphobic, racist, misogynistic, and/or ped0ph1lic, because now YOU’RE harassing THEM… somehow

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pccyouthleader · 1 year

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Hedgehog Hodgepodge: A Story of Espionage, Confusion, and an Evil Plan Gone Haywire

Chapter 17: Stricken

“Have you seen the news this evening?” Amy asked Sonic as he returned from a long run on the beach. She was sitting in bed with a multitude of fluffy pillows behind her back. “I’m beginning to get worried.”

It hadn’t even been a whole day since Aurora left with Shadow, and the whole village was coming apart.

Sonic sat on the edge of the bed unlacing his shoes. “You know I hate watching the news.” The main reason for that was Soar the Eagle. That bird-brained reporter was years past his prime, and needed to hang up his press badge.

“This is serious, though,” Amy chided. “People all over the village have become ill, and nobody knows why! Just this afternoon, the receptionist at the museum had to leave early.”

“What are the symptoms?” Sonic asked, becoming only mildly interested.

“Feeling drained, loss of appetite, pale appearance,” Amy read from a news crawler on the TV screen. “Some people are complaining of a strange rash.”

“Well, I feel fine,” he said, doing a turn for her benefit. “How about you?”

Amy shrugged. “I’m feeling the drained part, but I think that has more to do with the baby than this mysterious sickness that’s going around. Apparently it started a couple of weeks ago, but now it’s spread all across the village!”

Sonic stared at her in disbelief. How were they just now getting this news? “I’d better check in with Tails,” he said, pressing a few buttons on his wrist communicator. “Hey, Tails!” he said aloud into the receiver. “You doing okay?” There was some garbled noise over the tiny speaker, then the staticky voice of his best friend came through.

“Sonic! I…” *kkkrrrrrrrtttt* “…trying to reach y…” *kkkkrrrrzzzzz* “…not what…”

“Tails! You’re breaking up! Are you okay?” Sonic yelled.

“…fine!…” *kkzzzzzzrrtt* “…weird that it’s not…” *kkkkrrrttt* Then the signal went out.

“He sounded okay, didn’t he?” Sonic asked, his brows knit together in concern. “He’s fine,” he finally determined.

As he stared at his silent communicator, Amy had another idea. “Why don’t you try Knuckles and Rouge?”

“Good thinking!” Sonic pressed a few more buttons, then started calling for Knuckles. “Hey Knux! Can you hear me?” But he was greeted with nothing but silence.

After a few minutes of waiting, Amy spoke up. “Well, they did go on a cruise. Maybe they aren’t within a signal range or something.”

“Yeah…,” was all Sonic could say. He didn’t particularly have a terrible feeling concerning his friends; it just would have been nice to know something for sure. But his hands were tied - he didn’t know their exact locations, and he couldn’t risk leaving Amy alone to go track them down. He finally resolved that they must be doing fine and could take good care of themselves.

After washing up, Sonic joined Amy in the bed to watch the coverage. He had a nagging feeling that everything was connected, but couldn’t begin to determine how.

Suddenly Amy sat up, another look of concern washing over her face. “Has anyone checked on Sticks?”

—

Sonic yawned and stretched as he prepared to trek over to Sticks’ burrow. At least Amy had acquiesced the night before when he explained that it was too late to barge in on someone. But she was anxious for him to check on their friend, and had nearly shoved him out of the bed at daybreak.

“We really should have checked on Sticks before now,” Amy fretted as she readied herself for the day.

“You know, if she’d wear her communicator, we could have checked on her before now,” Sonic grumbled.

Amy gave Sonic a withering look before continuing. “I can’t even remember the last time we laid eyes on her! What kind of friend ignores another when the outside world is in utter chaos?!”

“It’ll be okay, Ames,” Sonic reassured her. “Sticks is a loner anyway. I can’t imagine her even getting close enough to someone to catch something.”

Amy nodded. “I guess you’re right. I’ll just feel better when you’ve had a chance to talk to her.”

Sonic knew that was his cue, so he brushed Amy’s cheek with a kiss and gently patted her tummy. Then he took off at top speed, going over the placement of Sticks’ booby traps in his mind. The absolute last thing he wanted on this journey was to become a hedgehog kabob.

Upon arrival, Sonic thought Sticks’ burrow had been deserted. Leaves had blown against the door, and weeds had grown up around the various trinkets she had collected and placed in her front yard. There were no birds chirping or insects buzzing.

This is weird, Sonic thought as he moved quickly towards the door. He just missed being impaled by a wooden pole covered in slime.

“Sticks!” he called, rapping loudly at the round wooden door. For a long time, all Sonic heard was silence. Then something fell and clattered within the burrow.

Sonic immediately spin-dashed and exploded through the door, surveying the mess within. As his eyes adjusted to the dim light, he searched the rooms of the small home. There in the kitchen lay Sticks, crumpled on the floor by the table.

Sonic wasted no time. He sped over to Sticks, scooping her up in his arms and gently placing her on the sofa. He zipped back to the kitchen to grab a rag and wet it with some cold water to lightly sponge over her forehead. After what seemed like ages, Sticks’ eyes finally fluttered open.

“Sonic?” she croaked, barely above a whisper. Her face was pale and thin, and her hair hung limply on her shoulders.

“Sticks, what happened to you?” he asked, bewildered.

Sticks lay silent for a long time, just laboring to breathe. Then she spoke in a raspy voice. “It’s the black smudge.”

“What?” Sonic asked. “You’re going to have to be more clear.” He was well-versed in Sticks’ strange ideas and conspiracy theories.

Sticks mumbled something incoherent. After taking another ragged breath, she clearly said, “Shadow,” before passing out again.

Fear crept over Sonic. Could Shadow have done something to hurt Sticks? He thought of Aurora, alone with him and with no way to contact her family. As his mind began to run wild with the memories he had of Shadow’s early attempts to destroy him and his friends, panic surged through his veins.

Sticks began to stir once again. She tried to speak, but her words dissolved into a coughing fit. Sonic ran to the kitchen for water, then helped her sit up to sip out of a mug.

“If Shadow’s done something terrible to you, I’ll-” Sonic began, but his words were cut off when Sticks shook her head. After several more body-wracking coughs, she was finally able to explain in a scratchy voice.

“Not Shadow… the black smudge… the trees…” *cough* “Shadow saw it.”

She then lifted her arm to show Sonic a bubbling black rash. It appeared as if the skin there was in a state of necrosis. He stared in horror at the breakout, then slowly lifted his hand.

“Don’t touch it!” she screeched, pulling her arm away.

“Sticks…” Sonic began, lost for words. “How long have you been like this?”

Sticks attempted to shrug her shoulders, but it took too much effort. “A month?” she responded, barely above a whisper. Her energy completely spent, Sticks lay back down and fell asleep.

Guilt ripped through Sonic as he remembered Amy’s words: “What kind of friend ignores another when the outside world is in utter chaos?!” If only she could see Sticks now.

“I’m sorry,” Sonic said with a catch in his voice. Tears began to flood his vision. “I’m going to figure out what’s going on and get you some help.”

Pushing up from the side of the couch, he took one long, last look at Sticks’ sleeping form before walking out the door. As he headed away from the burrow, his brain was awash with different scenarios, and he breathed a sigh of relief that Shadow wasn’t the miscreant he feared.

Picking his way through the wooded jungle, Sonic went over in his head what Sticks had said. How he wished he could contact Shadow to find out more! What had she even meant by “the trees”?

Suddenly he stopped. He didn’t want to, but Sonic lifted his face to look at the jungle around him. There, smeared on every tree in sight, was a black substance that looked like liquid metal. The dread that had floated just out of reach since he had found Sticks began to surface. Looking up, Sonic was able to move just before a big blob of the sticky goo dripped onto his head. With great haste, Sonic darted out of the jungle, anxious to tell Amy what he had discovered.

Bolting through the door, he ran into the house shouting for her, but there was no answer. Sonic sat heavily in a chair at the dining room table and rested his head in his hands. It was just too much to absorb all at once.

An hour later, Sonic barely heard Amy come in the front door. She approached him to give him a big hug from behind, but stopped, a curious look on her face.

“Sonic?” she asked.

“Yeah, Ames,” he answered flatly.

“What’s that black stuff on your shoulder?”

#Y’all!!!!!!! The brain juices are definitely flowing!!#It’s goin’ down #I’m yellin’ timberrrrrrr!!!#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonamy #amy rose #shadora #sonic fanfiction #hedgehog hodgepodge #aurora belongs to e-vay #sticks the jungle badger #sticks the badger #miles tails prower #tails the fox #knuckles the echidna #knuckles x rouge #rouge the bat

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