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#I'm gonna try to write more of their dynamic this year.
eorzeanflowers · 8 months
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"Well, Yasha, you asked me out here... Is something the matter?" Yda asked the serious gladiator turned Scion following her to a bridge near the Sylphlands.
"I.. um.." Yasha fidgeted with her hands a moment. "I thought we worked well together... again." She rubbed the back of her head with a self conscious grin.
"We did, didn't we." Yda grinned. She took a couple of cheerful steps towards Yasha, an arm behind her back. "But that's something you could've said back in camp, isn't it?" There was mirth and a flirty tone to her voice. "But instead you asked me to come to this beautiful waterfall."
"I think you're beautiful!" Yasha blurted out nearly immediately after Yda's words. She immediately went red and covered her face.
Yda stepped close to Yasha, taking one of her hands and bringing it to her face. "I think you are quite beautiful too, Yasha." She nuzzled Yasha's hand, dropping her own to her side.
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Yasha, a little dumbfounded smiled a goofy grin. She hummed a cheery little ditty before putting her forehead to Yda's aethermeter with a soft thunk. She pulled back with an embarrassed giggle, which Yda joined in with.
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Yasha looked at Yda with dreamy look in her eyes, quietly asking, "May I give you a kiss, Yda?"
"Mmm, yes, I think you may." Yda gave a soft giggle and leaned in close.
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Yasha leaned in close as well, and gave Yda a soft kiss. One that missed its mark on Yda's waiting lips and instead was clumsily on her cheek. Realizing her error, Yasha reeled back.
"I'msosorryYdaI'vegottago!" Yasha bolted back towards the Gridanian territory, leaving a confused Yda behind.
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"Yasha! Wait!" Yda reached out towards the departing Scion, but with Yasha's embarrassed speed, Yasha quickly vanished into the undergrowth. Yda blinked under her mask a couple of times, before sighing.
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"Oh my, I think I'm falling..." Yda muttered as she gently touched her kissed cheek.
Bonus:
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A day later, back at the Waking Sands.
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Yasha was a blushing mess as she recounted her mishap with Yda in the Black Shroud
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"So, let me get this straight. You asked Yda to a private place, attempted to court her, KISSED her, and then ran away at the first sign of something good happening to both of you?" Jana directly and bluntly laid out the bare bones of Yasha's story.
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"It was quite silly of you Yasha, I do agree with Jana's reasonings. But I'm sure Yda thought you were still quite cute." Eulanne tried to console the mess that was Yasha.
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Jana slammed her hands on the table, roaring, "It's not very the worst that you did that night! You had a chance to actually see under Yda's mask and you messed up your opportunity! I am so disappointed in you Yasha!"
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"Now, now, Jana. Yasha is still a fledgling. And frankly, the fact that you haven't seen Yda's lovely eyes is a problem of your own." A'tyla finally butted in with a laugh, turning Jana's attention towards her instead of Yasha.
"Wait, what? You've seen Yda's eyes!" Jana incredulously turned to A'tyla.
"Yes."
"Do tell!" Jana scooted her chair over to A'tyla with rapt attention.
"A lady never gives out her secrets." A'tyla taps the side of her nose with a wink.
"WHY YOU MAGE!" Jana flared up again, reaching for her staff.
All while that was happening Eulanne had scooted over to Yasha and patted her on the shoulder. "You'll likely get a second chance hotshot, just close your eyes after you make contact with her lips."
Yasha just sank even deeper into her chair as she turned an even darker shade of red.
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fanaticalthings · 4 months
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Bruce coming home one day to find Robin Jason clinging onto a chandelier with Dick below him cheering him on.
Bruce: Jason what are you doing?
Jason: Dick said that you missed his antics after he moved out and so he’s teaching me how to be a better son
Dick: After this we’re going to drive the Batmobile into the bay :D
Jason: We’re going to what? I mean yeah! Right into the water.
Jason trying to whisper to Dick: Dick I can’t swim though
This just further fuels the chaotic dynamic of Dick and Jason during a time where Dick was still going through his teenage angst and was absolutely not a benevolent role model LMAO
I mentioned it in this post, but it's just so funny to me to imagine a Jason who grew up with an absolutely WILD Dick Grayson as an older brother, while the younger batkids grew up with a more mellowed out and mature (arguable but when measured against the other kids, he wins by a landslide) Dick Grayson.
Robin!Jason era:
Dick: You wanna go out and get high?
Jason: I can't, I have homework.
Dick, sputtering: HOMEWORK?
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Dick, about to do an elaborate (and totally not dangerous) acrobatic move in the manor: Watch this, littlewing
Jason: You shouldn't do that, it'll make Bruce upset.
Dick, on the brink of angry tears: Why are you like this.
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Jason, dejected: Listen, I know you don't approve of me because you think I'm not good enough as Robin, but-
Dick: Not good enough as Robin? I don't care about that, I just think you're a little bitch
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Dick taking Jason out on a hangout for the first time: OK, looks like I got my work cut out for me. Take out a notepad and write everything down. I will NOT have my successor embarrass me like this. So what you wanna do to piss off Bruce-
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[Years later, Jason returning to Gotham with the fury of a thousand suns and the chaos to match it]: I'm gonna make your life a living HELL, Bruce
Dick, older and relatively more chilled out: Okayyyyy, maybe let's just– calm down a lil, haha, no need for the theatrics
Jason, betrayed, observing a Dick Grayson who is teaching his new younger siblings to behave and be mature: Dick, what the FUCK
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Present!Dick, mentoring Tim: Make sure not to be too impulsive, don't wanna raise Bruce's blood pressure
Red Hood!Jason spying on them from afar: Who even ARE you??
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Jason: So you teach me ALL of that, only to turn into the ONE thing you despised so greatly all those years ago
Dick, sweating: Well-
Jason: I'm ASHAMED. How can you be worthy of being called my PREDECESSOR?
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fallingformatt · 3 months
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SINCE WE’RE PLAYING GAMES M.S.
Matt x fem!reader
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summary: what happens when you try to cheat your way to win a game of twister?
warnings: SMUTTTTTTTT! unprotected sex, slight bdsm.
word count: 2.5k
a/n: Yall are some freaky fucking fucks… over a thousand notes on my post? Yall are insane, im so thankful for yall dirty minded ass people. I truly did not expect that to happen on my second post ever. And thank you all for almost 300 followers yall are the GOATS!!!
Let me know if I should write a pt. 2 for FIRST GLANCE M.S. available here
post is not proofread
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I'm currently at the triplet's house. The sun is setting, casting a beautiful orange hue to the living room where we all are sitting, drinking some drinks, and just talking. The music in the background isn't loud but I can hear it clearly.
"I'm bored, let's do something fun," Matt says looking down into his half-empty cup. "Well I don't have any ideas," Chris shrugs his shoulders. "I have an amazing idea," Nick yells, startling me. "Nick, you scared me, I almost spilled my drink," I say out loudly slapping his shoulder. "Please ask me what my idea is, please, please, please," Nick tries to plead to make us ask him what his idea is.
"So what is ur 'amazing' idea?" I ask looking at him with a serious face. "We're all gonna play twister," Nick says ecstatically clapping his hands together like a kid. "No Nick, we are not playing twister, we're not five," Matt says annoyed. "Oh look I'm Matt, I'm so tuff and boring, I don't like to have fun," Nick mocks Matt, making me and Chris laugh.
"Well I don't know about y'all, but I'm tipsy, there's no way I could play twister right now," Matt says tugging on the collar of his black t-shirt, his eyes from across the room to meet mine, sending butterflies to my stomach.
I've always had a little crush on Matt, but I never really did anything about it, because I didn't want to ruin the friendship between us. I mean yeah, sure I would sometimes tease him, wearing something revealing, making his eyes wander to places they shouldn't, for example, today, I was wearing short, low-waisted shorts and a small leopard print baby tee, but I knew that, me doing something with Matt would probably change the dynamics of the group as a whole, so I left it as is, hoping my crush on Matt would sooner or later die down.
"You're just scared that you'll lose, so I have a proposition, whoever loses takes a shot of vodka," Nick says proudly. "That's the dumbest thing I have heard in my life," Matt says crossing his arms. "Well, as far as I know, five-year-olds can't drink vodka, so who's the five-year-old now huh?" Nick defends his idea. "We all are a bit tipsy so the chances of you winning are fair, you're just a pussy," Nick says trying to provoke Matt. "Yeah Matt, don't be a pussy," Chris joins in. "Okay, that's it, we're playing, and I'm going to win," Matt says and smiles confidently. Nick claps his hands excitedly as he stands up and walks to the pile of board games that are stacked on a shelf above the TV.
"Found it! Y'all are going down, I hope y'all like the taste of losing, because y'all are gonna be licking the L's shortly," Nick says with a devious smile. "Okay, this one's clearly had more than enough to drink," Matt says as he facepalms.
Nick sets up the game, laying the playing pad down on the floor and placing the spinner next to the mat. "So, who wants to go first?" Nick says grinning. "I'll go," Chris answers and bends down to spin the indicator. "Right foot on red." He says out loud and steps on the playing mat. We all take our turns and the game is starting to get intense.
"Nick you are going to lose," Matt says his voice getting higher at the end of the sentence. The poses we are in are criminal. We are four, grown adults standing on this little mat, meant for children. At this point in the game, the slightest movement could make us all fall down. "Chris, you look like a deformed frog," I say as I'm laughing, almost snorting. Chris's right foot is still on red, his left foot is on blue, his right hand on blue, in front of his left leg, and his left hand is in front of his right leg. Nick is chilling in a comfortable position, meanwhile, I'm stretched out, so close to fall.
We all spin a few times. When all of a sudden Chris loses his balance and falls. "Hah, it wasn't even your turn, you're out, take a shot," Nick yells, happy that he's still in the game. "This is so annoying, 100 bucks on Nick falling next," Chris says as he takes a shot of vodka. I'm now in a compromising position, both of my hands are on red and my feet are on green and yellow, my position is leaving my ass high up in the air. Nick is now barely staying in the game.
"Nick it's your turn," Chris says out loudly, the alcohol he's had, making him unaware of the volume he's speaking in. Nick spins the spinner, "right hand green," Chris says. As Nick tried to move his hand, he lost his balance and fell. "Fuck," he yells out as he stands up. "Where my money at?" Chris says as he hands Nick a shot of vodka.
"Spin it," I say to Matt, and he does. "Left hand red," I say and Matt starts to move his left hand. Now both of his hands need to be on red and the only place in order for him not to fall is on either side of my hands. As he moves over me he brushes against my ass making me lose my balance slightly. Placing his hand next to mine, his head is now next to mine, "sorry," he says quietly, his hot breath brushing against my skin, sending shivers down my spine.
It's now my turn and if I don't think of something quickly, I'm going to lose. I look over my shoulder to see what Chris and Nick are doing, they are currently in the kitchen getting some drinks. My lips move making a small grin, this is perfect.
As I reach for the spinner, I pop up my ass, making it brush against Matt's crotch. "Right hand red, looks like I'm safe for now," I say as I turn to Matt, a smirk appearing on my lips.
After taking my turn, I move back, again brushing against his crotch, now feeling something hard. "Don't do that," Matt says in an almost moaning tone. "Do what?" I say looking at him. "Don't try to act all innocent," he says in a serious tone. "It's your turn," I say, a smile plastered on my face.
Matt takes his turn and spins the spinner, "left foot green," He says, looking at the spinner. As he tries to move, I once again pop up my ass, making him brush against it once again, the tension on his crotch getting too much for him, making him lose his balance and he falls. "Ha, I win," I say as I stand up clapping my hands together. Nick and Chris rush over to the living room.
"Did Matt lose?" Nick asks. "Yeah because she cheated," he says, anger and frustration can be heard in his voice. "What did I do, that counts as cheating?" I ask, raising one eyebrow, as a smirk creeps on my lips again, knowing he can't say anything without explaining him further. "Nothing," Matt murmurs. "What's that? I couldn't hear you," I tease him. "I said, nothing," Matt raises his voice, standing up and storming off to his room.
"I am too drunk for this," Chris says throwing up his hands as he turns around and heads to his room. "Can you help me clean this up?" I ask Nick, and he nods kneeling down.
We cleaned everything up and put the game back in its place. "You ready to head to bed?" Nick asks. "You go, I'm going to come later, I'm going to check on Matt," I say as I start walking to Matt's room. "Goodnight Nick," I say smiling. "Goodnight." He answers.
Without knocking I open the door to Matt's room. "Hey, you okay?" I ask as I look at him. He's sitting on the edge of his bed looking straight at me. "I was waiting for you to come in, want to play a game?" Matt says. "Sure, what game?" I ask unsure what game he had planned.
"Since we're playing games, let's play a game you can't cheat in," he says a smirk creeping on his lips. "Simon says, close the door," Matt says. Oh shit, we're already playing. I close the door not moving an inch. "Simon says turn around and lock the door," his voice getting deeper. I do as he says. "Simon says turn back around and stand in front of me," he says. As I turn around, about to walk in front of Matt, my eyes meet his, his eyes grow dark and his lips form a slight grin.
"Simon says strip," he says his tone getting even deeper, a hint of lust accompanying his voice. "What?" I ask, my voice slightly trembling. "You heard me, Simon says strip," he repeats. I start off by taking off my baby tee throwing it on the ground leaving my upper body fully naked. I slip out of my shorts, letting them fall to my ankles before stepping out of them. I pick up my head to look at Matt, he stares me up and down licking his lips.
He stands up and walks closer to me, his hands move my hair to one side of my shoulder, then proceeds to leave a wet kiss on the back of my neck, sending shivers down my spine. His hand reaches over my body, touching my neck as he stands behind me "Left hand red." He says as slides his hand down my neck stopping at my breast. He massages my boob, pulling on my nipple making me moan.
"You like that?" He whispers in my ear. I don't answer. "Simon says answer," Matt says as his other hand slides down into my panties, pressing his finger against my clit before rubbing circles, making me moan. "Yes Matt I like that," I say as I throw back my head resting it on Matt's shoulder. He pulls out his hand, "Simon says turn around," Matt says and as soon as I do, he smashes his lips onto mine.
Matt wraps his hand around my waist taking small steps, leading us to his bed without breaking the kiss. I brush against his clothed cock, rubbing it slightly before I feel a slap on my hand making me break the kiss, I look up. "Nuh uh," Matt says shaking his finger, "Simon didn't say," he smirks and pulls his black t-shirt over his head throwing it to the ground next to my clothes.
He removes his belt, sliding it out of the belt loops of his oversized jean shorts, making them slide down a little, revealing the band of his boxers. He looks at me before moving his gaze to my hands.
"Simon says, extend your hands." His voice was demanding, I brought out my hands, and he grabbed them and put them together before wrapping and tying them together with his belt.
Matt puts his hand on my hips pushing them back, guiding me backward. As I take steps backward, I eventually fall on his bed. He crawls on top of me, spreading my legs with his knee, making space for himself.
He yanks up my hands by the tied belt, pinning them above my head, immediately, Matt attacks my neck with his lips, leaving a trail of kisses from my neck to my breasts, he kisses softly, slipping in a few bites. His hand slides up my thigh, stopping at my heat, his thumb starts to draw circles on my clit.
"Matt," I moan out. "Shhh, we don't want Nick or Chris hearing us do we?" He says looking up at me, taking his lips off of my breast. I shake my head in response and he smirks, "good girl," he says as he continues to rub circles on my clit his lips now moving back from my breast to my collarbone to my jaw before meeting my lips.
"Matt," I moan out as I try to pull my hands out of his grip. "Matt what?" He says as his hands push harder on mine, making sure I can't move. "Please, I need you," I whimper. He lets go of my hands and pulls away from my clit, making me let out a whimper from the loss of contact.
I immediately bring my hands down to my clit and start rubbing circles on my clit, pleasuring myself. As he unbuttons his jeans, he notices my hands, he grabs and pins them above my head again. "Are you gonna make me punish you?" He says his voice filthy and dark. "No," I say, shaking my head and looking at him. "Yeah, be a good girl for me," Matt says practically growling.
I move up and down my hips trying to get some relief as I watch him undo his jean shorts pulling them down, his boxers with them making his cock spring out, hitting his lower abdomen, precum glistening on his tip. Matt looks at me, "see what your little strategy to win did to me," he says raising his eyebrow.
"Please Matt, I can't take it anymore," I say as I scoot closer. Matt moves on top of me pinning my hands again, his other hand sliding my panties to the side before aligning himself with my heat. He pushes his cock in slowly before pulling it out almost completely, then pushing back in hard. "Oh- my- god- Matt-" I moan out between thrusts, his hand moving over my mouth to muffle my moans.
Matt fastens his thrusts, with each thrust going in deeper, making me moan out loud, he leans into my ear. "That's it, sweetheart, take my cock so good," Matt growls, pushing in me deeper than ever, his tip hitting my g-spot with every thrust. "Mmmm Matt you feel so good, I'm close," I moan out feeling my climax creeping up tension building in my stomach.
Matt moves his elbow next to my head, positioning himself so he's able to thrust even deeper. I arch my back as the pleasure takes over my body. His quiet moans landed in my ear, his hot breath sending me over the edge.
"Matt, I'm about to cum," I moan out. He smashes his lips onto mine in order to contain my moans as he plants a few more thrusts before I feel my walls tighten around his length, feeling the knot in my stomach releasing, my climax coming over me, I moan into the kiss. His hips continue to move as he thrusts in me a few more times before planting his cum inside me groaning, breaking the kiss.
He pulls out falling next to me, turning his head to look at me. "Who won?" He says smirking. "I did," I answer smiling, knowing this will piss him off. "Can you untie me?" I say as I shake my hands. "You didn't say Simon says," Matt answers teasing me back. "Simon says round two," I say as a devilish smirk appears on my lips.
I guess I won't be heading to Nick's room tonight.
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gggukniverse · 10 months
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self fulfillment needs | myg
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title: self fulfillment needs
pairing: yoongi x reader (+ implied jungkook x reader)
series: basic needs !!!
genre: m, smut, roommates au
summary: two weeks after the kitchen incident where you had sex with your roommate while your other roommate watched you, things seem the same as always but also not the same at all. you try to approach the subject to only cause a fight and another sexual encounter.
warnings: dom!yoongi, sub!reader, yoongi is bi, jungkook is confused my baby :(, sexual tension, dirty talk, she actually tries to dom yoongi at first but... haha, fingering, unprotected sex (pls be safe), a lil edging, hair pulling, teasing, yoongi himself is a warning, choking, face slapping, praising, degradation, he calls reader a slut, begging, spanking, p*ssy slapping, yoongi has a... piercing 🥴, they talk abt jk during sex, mentions of yoongi x jungkook, yoongi is so sweet after sex i'm sad :(
wordcount: 8.8k
note: hi !!! i'm back !! first of all, this is the second part to basic needs so please read that first because you're probably not gonna understand half of this chapter. omg guys this chapter is insane i cant even look at myself in the mirror after writing all of that. i'm still not convinced if it turned out okay, it could've been a lot better, but i hope you enjoy it !!!
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it’s been two weeks since the kitchen incident. and things have been weird.
it’s kind of a tricky situation because yoongi and jungkook act just the same as always towards you, like that night never happened in the first place. you find it troubling at first but you soon realize you wouldn’t even know how to approach them about what you did in that kitchen so you just let things flow. the problem is how they act around each other.
you wouldn’t consider yourself being extremely close to them, but with over two years of living together you’ve obviously come to know their dynamic. and you know they’re friends, you’re pretty sure they have different friend groups but you know they are friends and they get along way better than you do with any of them. that’s why you quickly catch on the weird vibe there seems to be between them now.
you’re used to waking up in the morning and finding them having breakfast in the kitchen together while talking about things you don’t really understand, but these days you walk into the kitchen first thing in the morning and don’t find any of them there. and it’s not just about breakfast, it’s about the weird tension between them when you see them bumping in the corridor, the excuses they make up not to be in the living room with you at the same time and the moments you see yoongi trying to make up conversation and jungkook just hums or gives a cold answer before leaving the room.
the worst thing is that your brain tells you it must be your fault. because it must be, right? before the kitchen incident everything was just fine but now that can barely stay in the same room for more than 2 minutes together.
and you don’t mean to snap at them but you can’t stop yourself from doing it one specific morning.
“what the hell is wrong with you two?”
the initial response you get is jungkook choking on his cereal and yoongi turning away from the coffee machine to look at you with such a surprised expression you guess he didn’t expect you to say that.
“what?” jungkook is the first one to talk as he wipes at his chin with a napkin.
“no, don’t try to act dumb now,” you tell him and hear yoongi snort. “you’ve been acting weird as fuck for the past two weeks and i’m so tired of it.”
“i’m not acting weird.” yoongi mumbles as he goes back to the coffee machine.
“i’m not acting weird either-”
“yes you are.” yoongi cuts jungkook off right away.
“hyung, c’mon...”
“you can’t even look at me since that night.” yoongi says but doesn’t raise his voice, he’s not trying to fight.
“i can look at you just fine.” jungkook replies and yoongi just scoffs.
“okay, jungkook.” yoongi hums completely unbothered.
“you’re communicating like 12 year olds,” you say when you’ve had enough and they both look at you again. “if something happened that night to cause all of this you should at least talk about it instead of avoiding each other.”
“nothing happened that night.” jungkook mutters as he finishes his breakfast.
“it sure looks like something happened.” you cross your arms and lean against the door frame.
“jungkookie is too ashamed of what he did that night.” yoongi says and pours the finished coffee in his mug.
you feel a pang in your chest so you look at jungkook with a cocked eyebrow for an explanation.
he is ashamed of that night?
“no!” jungkook looks panicked. “i don’t- i... it’s not like that.” he keeps stuttering and you don’t know what to say. maybe you should’ve considered the chance of them regretting it.
“she doesn’t need any type of reassurance, jungkook,” yoongi speaks again. “we both know she’s not the one you’re having trouble with.”
“hyung.” jungkook says like he’s warning him about something you don’t really understand.
“jungkook.” yoongi replies with the same tone but he currently looks much more calm than jungkook.
“can any of you explain what is happening?” you say in confusion and jungkook just looks down at his almost empty bowl while yoongi turns around to face you with a hand gripping the counter behind him and grabbing his coffee mug with the other.
“jungkook’s never messed around with another boy and now he’s acting like he’s committed a crime.” yoongi explains and you turn to jungkook when you hear him sigh.
“i’m not gay.” he mutters, still not looking up from his cereal.
“i’m not gay either,” yoongi replies like jungkook has said the most stupid thing he’s ever heard. “do you know what being bi means?”
“i’m not bi either.” jungkook replies.
yoongi snorts. “okay.”
“hyung.”
“i just swallowed your cum, you’re acting like i fucked you in the ass.” yoongi snaps and you have to slap your hand over your mouth to hide the gasp that threatens to slip out.
“you touched me too.” jungkook mumbles.
“and now you’re gonna say that you hated it, right?” yoongi scoffs and jungkook gets quiet. “jungkook, you almost came in my hand.”
“shut the fuck up!” jungkook snaps, finally looking up at yoongi with what you think is supposed to be an angry expression but in your opinion he just looks cute. and you guess yoongi might think the same.
“or what?” yoongi replies with a cocked eyebrow. jungkook doesn’t respond, just grabs his now empty bowl and walks to the sink, leaving it there before walking out of the kitchen.
and thank god because you were gonna drown in the fucking sexual tension if they stayed together in the same room for 5 more seconds.
“sheesh...” you whisper and walk to the counter to grab an apple.
“i don’t even know why you tried to do anything.” yoongi mumbles against his coffee mug before giving it a sip.
“you know it’s not his fault to be a little confused, right?” you tell him and sit on the chair jungkook was just sitting at. “you were kind of an asshole right now.” you admit and he sighs, putting his blue mug down on the counter.
“i’m not mad because he’s confused, he has all of the right to go through that, all of us do.” yoongi clarifies and you hum before giving your apple a bite. “what bothers me is that he can’t even look at me since that night.” he says, his voice quieter this time.
“yeah... i know.” you nod because you’ve obviously noticed.
yoongi sighs. “did i ruin everything with him?” you hate how worried he looks. of course yoongi cares about him. after all, jungkook is his friend and you can’t imagine how tough it must be for him to feel like he’s losing his friend.
“you didn’t, yoongi.” you answer his question because you really mean it. “i just think he needs some time to think.”
“thinking is what made him start acting like this, he looked perfectly fine that night.” yoongi tells you. “what he has to do is talk about it, but he won’t because he’s stubborn as shit.”
“yoongi.”
“he’s my friend, i can insult him.” he says and you can’t help but chuckle. “but seriously, he should talk about all of what he’s been bottling up. he’s probably been thinking about that night for all of these past days.”
“he’s not the only one,” you blurt out without even thinking and you can feel your cheeks heat up as soon as you look at yoongi and see a smirk growing on his face. “leave me alone.” you tell him before he can tease you about it.
“i didn’t say anything,” you can hear the smirk in his voice. “but i’ve been thinking about it too so don’t look so embarrassed.” he mumbles like it’s nothing as he puts his mug in the sink.
“you have?” you ask quietly. you don’t really know why but you thought he would’ve already moved on from it, that’s why this is surprising.
“y/n, c’mon.” he chuckles like your question is the stupidest thing he’s ever heard, like the answer is obvious.
you’re about to reply, not really know what exactly, but jungkook is on the door again. he’s changed from his pajamas into some black sweatpants and a big hoodie, the hood over his head to probably cover his messy hair.
“where are you going?” you ask him. a stupid question really. at this point of quarantine people can only really leave for specific jobs or to do the groceries, and since the three of you work from home you can only suppose he’s going to do the groceries.
you turn out to be right when he walks into the kitchen and picks the little piece of paper with the list of groceries before putting it in the pocket of his hoodie. “the groceries,” he replies either way and looks at you. “do you need anything else?” he asks and you notice the way he completely ignores if yoongi wants anything too but decide not to say anything.
“not really,” you shake your had and he hums. “thanks, kook.”
jungkook nods in response and leaves the kitchen without saying another word, not even sparing yoongi a glance. just a couple of seconds later you can hear the front door opening and closing.
“he’s so...” yoongi sighs as you give your apple the last bite.
“so what?” you stand up to walk to the trash can and throw the apple. he doesn’t answer. “you wanna fuck him so bad.” you tease him.
“maybe.” he hums and you look at him, he’s just mindlessly scrolling down his phone.
you sigh and hop on the counter, swinging your legs as you think of ways to comfront him about that night. but your mouth ends up being faster than your brain.
“what did you mean?” you ask and see him putting his phone down to pay attention to you.
“what?” it just hits you now how intimidating his gaze is so you look down at your lap before speaking again.
“have you really been thinking about that night?” your voice is a little more quiet now.
“of course.” he replies like it’s the easiest question he’s ever gotten.
“okay, but like... in a good or bad way?”
when you don’t get an answer you look up at yoongi and find him pursing his lips in deep thought, like he’s calculating the words to say.
“so we’re finally talking about this.” he says.
“you don’t want to?”
“i thought you didn’t,” yoongi replies. “you didn’t address it the next morning and both you and jungkook kind of looked mortified so i didn’t pressure you into talking, i thought you wanted to forget about it.”
“i mean,” you start, trying to find the words to explain. “i kinda wanted to forget,” yoongi hums for you to keep talking. “because i felt so... weird? no, not weird. i felt-”
“uncomfortable?”
“no.”
“regretful?”
“no,” you shake your head again. “ugh, i don’t know how to explain it. i just couldn’t believe i did that, i felt a little... dirty.” you admit and god, it is so embarrassing.
“you are,” yoongi replies with a little smirk that makes you want to jump on him. jesus christ, you’re so fucked. “no, but seriously- i understand,” he says, smirk completely gone. “you could’ve talked to me though.”
“i didn’t know if you wanted to talk about it,” you explain with the annoying feeling that your cheeks are heating up again. “and since you didn’t talk about it either i thought you regretted it or something...” you mumble and yoongi’s jaw almost drops to the floor.
“what are you talking about?” he frowns, seemingly offended by what you said.
“you don’t regret it?” you ask shyly.
“the only thing i regret is not fucking you too.”
holy shit.
you could have a gun pressed to the back of your head right now and still wouldn’t admit the way your whole body feels like it’s been set on fire just from one stupid sentence.
“you- you can’t say stuff like that.” you mutter and have the decency to look at him even if you’re red as a tomato because you know he’s gonna know either way. because yoongi is a menace.
“why not?” he cocks an eyebrow. and fuck, he’s so hot you don’t understand how the hell you didn’t realize until now.
“because.” you reply because you don’t know what to say.
“no way you’re getting shy now...” yoongi chuckles as he walks to you.
“leave me alone.” you whine in protest and reach to him with your hand to softly slap his face. you do it in a playful way, your hand barely brushing against his cheek, but yoongi’s smirk completely disappears and something in your stomach twists in fear.
“do that again.” his voice is so fucking low all of the sudden, like he’s challenging you, and you don’t know if you’re scared or turned on.
“i- i’m sorry, did i hurt you?” of course the most stupid question you could’ve asked in a moment like this is the first thing that comes out of your mouth.
yoongi only shakes his head. “i said do that again,” he repeats and takes the final step towards you to stand right in front of you. “harder.”
you gulp. your whole body feels too hot, your clothes are starting to feel uncomfortable. yoongi is too close and you’re sure he’s devouring you with his eyes.
“yoongi.” you try to say something but you don’t know what you can really say.
you’ve never hit anyone. well, maybe one time a couple of years ago when a guy didn’t stop bothering you at a club when you just wanted to dance with your friends. you’ve never hit anyone this way.
does yoongi like this? is he really one of those people?
“i don’t wanna hurt you.” you mumble and feel stupid right after.
“i like it when it hurts,” yoongi replies and you have to bite your lip not to moan. “i’m asking you to do it, so just-”
the sound of the slap echoes in the quiet kitchen and you stare at yoongi with panic growing in your chest and a weird itch on the palm of your hand, the one you haven’t even put down yet from how shocked you are that you just slapped yoongi. his head is turned to the side from the slap and you can see the little reddened skin on his cheek before he turns back to you.
“i’m so sorr-”
you never get to properly apologize because the words die down your throat the second yoongi’s lips collide against yours. you immediately kiss him back and hum against his mouth when he wraps his arms around your body, moving closer to stand between your legs and pulling you as close as he can to his body. your arms are soon wrapping around his neck too and you completely lose yourself in the kiss.
he kisses you like he’s missed you. like he’s been wanting, needing to kiss you again for these past two weeks. and you’re no better, you kiss him back with the same hunger and desperation because you now realize just how bad you needed him.
“fuck,” he mumbles between kisses and you hum in response, not daring to pull away when it feels so good. “can’t stop thinking about you.”
“yoongi...” you whine while one of yoongi’s hands goes up and down your thigh softly, too softly compared to the way he’s kissing you.
“wanted you so fucking bad.” yoongi sighs and starts kissing down your jaw towards your neck.
“fuck,” a little breathy chuckle slips out of your mouth when you realize something. “this fucking counter again.”
yoongi chuckles against your neck and brings his other hand to your other thigh, making you wrap your legs around you before picking you up from the counter.
“what-” you mumble but yoongi gives you just a short kiss to shut you up for a moment as he starts walking out of the kitchen.
“do you wanna get caught again?” he teases and your cheeks burn. you hide your face on the crook of his neck in embarrassment. “i want you to myself today, if that’s okay.” yoongi says and fuck, why does everything he say makes you feel like you’re melting? you’re sure he wasn’t like this before the kitchen incident.
“yeah, that’s okay.” you leave a kiss on his neck that has him letting out a shaky breath as he keeps walking down the corridor.
“good.” he hums and you keep kissing his neck, sucking a little mark on a spot that’s clearly sensitive because as soon as you start sucking on it yoongi’s grip on your thighs tightens significantly.
you’re brought back to reality and forced to stop kissing on his neck when yoongi is suddenly placing you down on a bed, his bed. the covers are extremely soft, that’s the first thing you notice, and the mattress seems super comfortable. in that moment you can understand why yoongi stays in bed until late somedays, his bed is so fucking nice.
“there you go,” yoongi says as he hovers over you and positions himself on his knees between your legs, one of his elbows on the mattress right next to your head to support his body. “pretty.” he smiles before kissing you again.
“you should’ve...” you start between kisses, your hands going up to his long hair while his free hand goes down to your waist. “should’ve talked to me before.”
“could tell you the same.” he replies and stops kissing your lips to go a little lower, kissing your neck again.
“wait.” you squirm under him and try to push him away.
yoongi quickly pulls away, looking down at you with worried eyes. “everything okay?” he asks.
“yeah,” you nod. “just wanna be on top.” you try to push him again and he chuckles.
“okay,” yoongi hums and he suddenly grabs you by your thighs and turns the both of you around so that you’re on top. “good?” he asks, staying sat up with you on his lap.
“yeah.” you smile as you place your hands on his shoulders.
“are you trying to get all dominant on me now?” he teases while his hands find their way under your shirt.
you don’t know what gives you the courage for it but you smirk back. “and what if i was?”
yoongi snorts.
“what?” you frown, clearly offended by his response.
“nothing...” he says but you can see how he’s trying to hold back a smile.
“just so you know, i’m a good dom.”
and it’s not a lie. you’ve been dominant in bed quite many times before, it’s not like it’s your preference but you definitely have. you’re confident even if something inside of you tells you there’s no way you’re gonna be able to dom him, your pride is bigger than that right now because his stupid smirk is making you want to shut him up.
“mh... i’m sure you are.” yoongi speaks with that stupid smirk.
“yoongi.” you whine in protest and feel stupid right after because his smirk only grows bigger.
“you’re such a cute little dom.” he brings his hand to your face and drags his thumb across your lower lip, making you realize you’re pouting.
“you’re pissing me off,” you shake him up a little with your hands on his shoulders. “i can dom you.”
“i had you blabbering like a little bitch the other day and i hadn’t even touched you yet.” yoongi says and gives your waist a light squeeze that makes you flinch.
“it was jungkook,” you say, just because he’s actually getting to you and you need a distraction. “he was the one fucking me.” you clarify and he cocks an eyebrow.
“you think jungkook was the dominant one that night?” he asks. “he completely shut down when i got there.”
you gulp when you remember how jungkook’s dominant demeanor completely disappeared as soon as yoongi walked in the kitchen that night, how he clearly obeyed to everything yoongi told him. and it is so fucking hot. by this point your panties must be ruined, you can’t help but squirm uncomfortably on top of him.
yoongi seems to notice your problem because he looks down at where your bodies are together and moves his hands down to your hips, pulling you closer to him so that you’re sat exactly on top of his crotch. a sigh escapes your mouth before you can stop it when you feel how hard he is under you.
“i bet i can make you cry before you can even begin to try dominating me.” he hums and nuzzles into your neck, making you squirm just with the feeling of his nose on your skin.
“you just caught me in a bad time that night,” you mumble. and you’re kinda right, you were so desperate that night, you’re sure you could’ve done a lot better if your desperation hadn’t been clouding your mind. “don’t be so confident.”
“i went so fucking easy on you both that night,” yoongi says against your skin like it’s a warning. “actually, i didn’t do anything and you two were doing everything i said like you were under a spell.”
“i...” your mind goes blank when he runs his tongue down your neck.
“you should’ve seen your face,” yoongi continues, leaving little kisses down the wet stripe on your neck. “you were fucked out, you looked dumb.” he chuckles a little and you should feel offended but you only moan in response when he bites on your neck, not enough to hurt but enough to get a reaction from you.
“yoongi-”
“it’s okay baby,” he hums, his breath hitting the sensitive skin of your neck and making goosebumps erupt all over your body. “i would love nothing more than to fuck you dumb.”
“that’s-” you surpress the moan that’s threatening to come out of your mouth when yoongi places his hands on your hips and pulls you closer to him just to grind against his clothed crotch. “that’s not the way you talk about a lady.” you manage to say even though your voice breaks halfway through. yoongi has obviously noticed because a dark chuckle hits your neck again.
“oh, i know,” he says. you can definitely feel how your panties are sticking to your pussy now. “but you’re not a lady, you’re just a slut.”
a loud moan slips out of your mouth when he makes you grind your hips again and the friction between you feels just right. “yoongi...” you hold on tight to his shoulders as his lips make their way up to whisper in your ear.
“right?”
“yoongi, i-” by this time your hips are moving on their own, chasing that delicious friction agaist his crotch.
“aren’t you my pretty slut?” the gentle bite to your earlobe does it for you.
you don’t remember the last time you needed someone this bad. well, maybe jungkook a couple of weeks ago, but somehow this feels different. your body is screaming for him, something inside you has been begging you to let go of that pride and just give into him since you kissed.
“please.” you say and feel stupid right after because you’ve already given up and because you don’t know what you’re asking for.
“oh, how i love to hear you say that word.” yoongi smiles wide at you and you can’t help but continue grinding your hips against him.
“fuck, yoongi i-”
“mh, i know.” he gives you a sympathetic nod and looks down at how you’re working your hips. “look at you,” he says and gently slaps your hip. “already begging for it like the slut you are.”
you try to speak but the only sound coming out of your mouth is another pathetic whimper as you keep chasing that friction.
“should i just let you do this until you cum?” yoongi asks, you instantly shake your head.
“no,” you slide your hands down his arms until you’re wrapping them around his wrists. “touch me.”
“i’m touching you.” he fakes a confused expression as he squeezes your hips just a little. you just know he’s having so much fun with this.
“yoongi, you know what i mean,” you grind against him one last time before he lets out a chuckle. “what?” and you almost can’t even recognize your voice anymore from how desperate and whiny you sound, but you know he likes it.
“i find it funny how you were trying to go all dominant and shit just a minute ago and now you’re begging like a slut.”
you don’t say anything in response, you only bite your lip to hold back a sound because you’ve never really enjoyed being talked to like this in bed but now you might be discovering something new about yourself because yoongi makes it so hot.
he smirks at your lack of response and turns the both of you again, making you lay down on your back with him between your legs. and you enjoyed being on top of him for a moment but you can’t lie and say you don’t like this position as well.
“i would love to take my time with you, but i wanna see that pretty pussy again,” yoongi says, completely unaware of how you blush at his words because he’s focused on pulling your sweatpants down your thighs. “maybe i’ll make it longer next time, but i’ve been waiting for two weeks.”
next time. the knowledge that he’s already thinking about a next time makes you a little giddy but you don’t make a comment about it.
you kick your sweatpants off when yoongi pulls them past your ankles and let then fall on the floor.
yoongi makes a disapproving soud when you bend your legs and close them, hiding from him. “c’mon, be good and open those pretty legs for me.” he puts a hand on one of your ankles, trying to make you stretch your legs.
you give in so easily, spreading your legs enough for him to get between them again. his hands go to your thighs, rubbing up and down slowly and leaving goosebumps behind.
but he’s not looking at you yet. well, he is looking at you, he’s looking at you with a pretty smirk but he’s not looking where you want him to look. that alone makes you buck your hips up in an attempt to make him look down. the gesture makes yoongi break in a chuckle but he still doesn’t give you what you want, leaning down and supporting his weight on his elbow next to your head. then he gives you a kiss that leaves you speechless instead.
“what?” you mumble in confusion.
“you’re so cute when you’re horny.” yoongi gives you a smile that successfully distracts you from his hand going up your thigh.
you open your mouth to reply but the only thing that comes out is a loud moan when you suddenly feel yoongi’s hand cupping your pussy over your panties.
“have you been this wet all this time?” yoongi says and your brain can’t even come up with an answer because his fingers start running up and down your clothed folds.
you’re so wet that the feeling of the soaked fabric of your panties against your pussy makes you blush in embarrassment, but it feels so good to finally be touched that you can’t help the sounds coming out of your mouth.
“what a dirty girl,” yoongi hums as your hips buck a little to meet the movements of his hand. “so wet just because of some kissing and some grinding?” he teases you with a chuckle.
“please, take my panties off.” you beg. you need his fingers on you.
“only because you said please.”
he partially listens to you because he doesn’t really take them off but instead pushes them to the side, which you find ten times hotter.
a loud moan slips out of your mouth when his fingers finally touch you with nothing in between. your hand twitches with the urge to cover your mouth but you know yoongi won’t like that so you settle with gripping at the sheets of his bed instead.
“haven’t stopped thinking about this pussy,” yoongi mumbles and gives it a little slap that makes you squeak in surprise. “cute.” he grins and kisses you once again.
you kiss him back, wrapping your arms around him to make sure he doesn’t pull away. he swallows all of your moans when he easily slips one of his fingers inside you and starts fucking you with it before quickly adding another one, you’re so wet that his fingers slide in so well.
“mhh… that’s a good pussy.” yoongi hums between kisses and you clench around his fingers.
his fingers feel so good, you can’t wait for his cock.
you moan his name, making him smile against your mouth. “does that feel good?”
“yeah.” you whine and he curls his fingers inside you, easily finding that spot. “fuck, right there…”
it feels so good that you almost forgot you don’t live alone. almost. you remember because you’re suddenly being surprised by the sound of the apartment door opening and closing.
jungkook is back home.
“yoongi,” you mumble against his lips like a warning but he only hums and starts fingering you faster. “fuck... yoon- yoongi, stop.”
“do you really want me to stop?” yoongi breaks away from the kiss with the hottest smirk on his face.
you don’t know what to answer. well, you know you don’t want him to stop, but jungkook is home now and you are loud enough for him to hear.
“yoon...” you try but nothing else comes out when he slips a third finger.
“that’s right,” he smiles and leaves a sweet kiss on your jaw as he keeps finger fucking you at a pace that’s driving you crazy. “say my name.”
you do. you say his name and he slips his fingers out just to give your pussy another spank that makes your whole body twitch under him.
“louder.” yoongi says as he rubs his fingers over your folds to ease the pain from the spank.
you say his name louder, but just a little because you know jungkook must be placing the groceries in the kitchen right now, he could hear you if you said it louder.
but jungkook hearing you must be exactly what yoongi wants because he gives you another spank that has you moaning his name way too loud. yoongi smiles at the sound.
“that’s a good slut.” he praises, his breath hitting your ear, and starts rubbing your pussy with his fingers from side to side so fast that you don’t know what to do with your body, your hips twitching and your cheeks reddening at the wet sound of his hand against your pussy.
god, you’re so wet.
“please…” you beg through a sound that’s close to a sob and it makes yoongi stop the movements of his hand and straighten up a little to look down at you, sitting back on his feet under him.
 “please what?” he finally gives your pussy a break but you miss his hand, the one he’s bringing to his mouth right now. “messy fucking girl, i always have to clean you up, right?”
you hold your breath and your pussy throbs when he slips two of his wet fingers in his mouth and hums like it is the most delicious thing he’s ever tasted.
“yoongi please.” you repeat even if you don’t know what you’re asking.
“is that the only word you know how to say now?” yoongi asks, not really paying attention to you but rather to cleaning your juices off his fingers. “i won’t know what you want if you don’t tell me.”
your desperation gives you the courage to sit up, your legs a little bent up on each side of yoongi, and grab at the hem of his shirt, tugging it up until it’s coming off. you throw it on the floor and take the chance to run your hands down his chest, feeling the hot skin under your fingers and getting so lost in it that the words come out of your mouth easily.
“i want your cock.” you blurt out, looking up at him with your best puppy eyes.
“you want it?” yoongi says with that condescending tone again, like he’s talking to a dumb person.
fuck, you want him so bad.
you just nod in reply. he hums and then gets up on his knees, getting so close to you with how you’re sitting. “then pull it out.”
you hold your breath for a second. “can i?”
“of course you can.”
you don’t think about it twice. you hook your fingers under the waistband of his sweatpants again and tug them down, biting your lip at the sight of the outline of his hard cock under the fabric of his boxers.
he’s so big. and you want him so bad.
“c’mon,” yoongi urges you to do something and you finally tug down at his boxers. “there you go.”
you notice two things when you’ve pulled his boxers down to his thighs.
first one, he’s definitely big.
second one, yoongi has a piercing on his dick. right on the underside, under his tip, a barbell on his frenulum.
you have to bite back a moan at how hot you find it and yoongi seems to notice your reaction because he chuckles. “you’ve never seen one?” he says with a teasing tone and you look up at his face.
“can i…” you shift uncomfortably under him because you need your panties off.
“can you what?” you hold your breath when he brings a hand down to his cock, stroking it slowly. he is so close to you in the position you are right now.
“can i suck you off?” you blurt out before you can even worry about looking desperate.
you don’t miss the way he squeezes on the base of his cock as soon as you let the words out, but he shakes his head.
you’re about to complain when yoongi speaks up again. “i would love to fuck that pretty mouth, but i need to fuck that pussy first.” he nods down at your body.
you lean back, supporting yourself against your elbows, and look at him with puppy eyes now that you know they seem to work on him. “then come fuck it.” you know you’re pouting but you couldn’t care less right now. you need him so bad.
“it will be my pleasure,” he grins but then looks down at your chest. “but take that shirt of first.”
you obey instantly and take it off in a second, throwing it somewhere on the bedroom floor and finally laying down on your back. you don’t miss yoongi’s gaze on your bare chest.
“stop doing that.” you throw one arm over your eyes not to see the way he’s devouring you with his eyes.
“i’m not doing anything.”
“you’re looking.”
“am i supposed to look somewhere else?” he responds and you chuckle a little.
“no, but- ah!” a moan escapes your mouth when you feel yoongi’s mouth on one of your nipples. you unconsciously slap your hand over your mouth to muffle any other noise slipping out of it, but yoongi is quickly grabbing your wrist and pushing your arm away.
“none of that shit,” he says before starting to litter kisses all over your chest. your back arches a little when he flicks his tongue on your other nipple and he chuckles in response. “so cute.”
“just fuck me already.” you beg, feeling yourself getting even more wet each second.
“someone’s eager to get fucked, huh?” yoongi straightens up again and wraps his hand around his cock again, stroking it lazily like before. you can’t look away.
then all of the brattiness you have in you slips out your mouth. “no, i just think you’re making me wait longer because you don’t know what to do with that.” you nod towards his cock.
yoongi’s smile is gone when you look back at his face and you know you’re in trouble.
“i wanted to look at your face while i fucked you,” he starts and you can already sense a but coming. “but i want you on all fours now.” you open your mouth to say something but he shakes his head and speaks again. “turn around before you piss me off again.” he talks with such a low voice that you can’t deny him anything.
you turn around and get up on your hands and knees, though your breath hitches when he places a hand on your back and pushes down for you to get down on your elbows, you squish your cheek on his pillow.
yoongi curses behind you and you can sense he’s looking down at your exposed pussy. the reaction gives you the courage to arch your back, pressing your chest to the mattress and spreading your legs a little, just enough for him to see you better.
“if you tell me i can’t fuck you raw i’m gonna be mad.” he curses and you giggle.
“you can do it.”
“really?” yoongi asks. you appreciate that he’s making sure.
“yes, i let jungkook fuck me raw, you should do it too.” you respond and move your ass a little. “c’mon, i’m waiting.”
and you really thought he was gonna make you wait a little more, that’s why you gasp in surprise when yoongi rubs the tip of his cock through your folds.
“oh my god…” you mumble. “please, don’t tease.” you beg when he keeps rubbing it up and down. you can actually feel the piercing and you might go crazy.
“i don’t know, since you said i don’t know what to do with my cock maybe i shouldn’t give it to you.” yoongi says with a low chuckle as he places one of his hands on your hip.
“no, please.” you whine into the pillow, feeling like you could actually cry if he doesn’t slip it in right now.
“look at you, you haven’t stopped saying please since i first touched you.” he presses his tip to your clit and rubs it just right before pulling away and making you whine again.
“i swear to god if you don’t-” a loud moan escapes your mouth when you feel him slip in slowly. “oh fuck…” you mumble and bury your face on the pillow. but yoongi doesn’t seem to like that.
he’s suddenly threading his fingers through your hair so gently but then he tugs hard to lift your head from the pillow as he bottoms out. “wanna hear you.” he says.
“so good.” you manage to say as you support your upper body on your elbows so that the hair pulling doesn’t hurt a lot, just the necessary.
“yeah?” yoongi hums as he starts to pull out just as slowly as he slipped in.
“big…” you sigh and hear a hint of another chuckle before he slips in again.
“you’re so fucking tight, holy shit,” he groans and you can feel his hand on your hair faltering for a second so you clench around him to get a reaction. “oh fuck.” he moans and he sounds so hot that you push your ass back against him to make him bottom out again.
“you feel so good.” you whine and he finally lets go of your hair but you rest your head on your side for him to hear you.
“can i move?” yoongi asks, both hands on your hips now.
“yes please.” you beg.
and he’s not gentle, he fucks you hard right from the start. you can actually feel the cold piercing inside of you and you think you might go crazy. the sound of skin against skin the only thing echoing inside the room because it feels so good that no sound comes out of your mouth.
yoongi doesn’t like that. he gives your ass a hard spank as he bottoms out again and stays there.
“if i don’t hear you i’ll stop,” he warns you and you try to move your hips for him to start moving again, but his hard grip on them doesn’t let you. “did you understand?”
“yes.” you whine and another moan slips out of your mouth when he spanks you again.
“good slut.”
you think you’re gonna cry when he starts fucking you again. this time you allow yourself to let all the sounds out, not caring about how loud you are.
“yoongi...” your voice breaks when he starts hitting that sweet spot that makes your legs shake. your knees hurt but it feels so good you don’t want to change positions.
you’re so fucked out already, you wouldn’t be so gone at this point with anyone else, but somehow it feels different with yoongi.
“that feels good?” yoongi hums and you feel a little bit of pride at how broken his voice sounds too.
“yes!” you moan. “please, don’t stop… please.”
“fuck,” he truly seems to like to hear you beg. “it’s like this pussy was made for me.” and he won’t stop hitting that spot, you’re so fucking close.
“yours.” you mumble, completely fucked out, and clench when you hear him chuckle at the word.
“mine?” he teases, slowing down his thrusts.
you nod uncomfortably against the pillow and cry out when yoongi suddenly pulls out. “no, please…” you beg, desperately pushing your ass back for him to keep fucking you.
“no, turn around.” yoongi says and you have half a mind to obey, turning around on the bed and finally laying on your back with a relief sigh.
you’re quick to wrap your legs around him to push him closer. “please, yoongi, fuck me.” all shame is gone, you need him so bad.
“slut wants my cock?”
you nod.
“then say it.”
“i want your cock.” you bite your lip when he starts rubbing his tip through your folds again.
“who wants my cock?” yoongi asks, acting dumb. you want to cry.
“me.” you sigh, bucking your hips up to grind against his cock.
“who?” yoongi asks again and you get it now.
“your slut.” you answer. yoongi smirks proudly.
“who’s cock do you want?”
god. you will go insane at this point.
“yours.”
“mh, but that’s not enough for you, right?” he hums, looking down at where his cock is rubbing against you. your breath hitches when your dizzy mind is able to get what he means.
“i-”
“one cock is not enough for your, right?”
“yoongi…”
“you got fucked by one of your roommates two weeks ago and now you’re letting your other roommate fuck you too?” yoongi circles the tip of his cock on your clit, the piercing making it feel so good youe eyes roll back. “do you spread your legs for anyone who has a cock?”
“n- no…” you blush, the humilliating words making you feel so good somehow.
“no? just for us?” yoongi asks and leans down a little, the hand he was using to hold the base of his cock wrapping around your neck now.
“yes,” you sigh. everything feels so hot. “just for you.”
“yeah?” he hums. fuck, he’s so hot.
you try to nod but his hand around your neck squeezes a little. “fuck…” you moan, your pussy throbbing now.
“i knew you would like this, dirty girl,” yoongi chuckles and gives your neck another light squeeze as he starts slipping his cock into you again. “that’s a good slut.” he groans as you clench around him again.
yoongi keeps his hand around your neck as he starts fucking you, squeezing just lightly. and he knows what he’s doing, because the second he lets go you let out the loudest moan you’ve ever made. your hand flies to your mouth in embarrassment but yoongi grabs your wrist and pulls it over your head, pinning it right there.
“i wanna fucking hear you.” he says, hips hitting against the back of your thighs so hard as he fucks you at a brutal pace.
“jung- jungkook is home…” you mutter as a warning but he only laughs.
“is that an inconvenient now?” he gives you a deep thrust that makes your eyes roll back. “let him hear. should i ask him to come here too?”
“fuck.” you’re so close, if he keeps talking like that you’re gonna cum.
“i’m sure he’s listening from his room right now,” yoongi says, his thrusts hitting just right, you’re sure you’re creaming his cock by this point. “do you think he’s touching himself as he listens to you?”
“oh my god…” your hand twitches with the urge to cover your mouth again but he keeps it pinned to the mattress over your head, your other hand grips at the sheets tightly.
“i’m sure he wishes he was in my place right now.” he looks down at how your boobs bounce from the thrusts and you’re sure your cheeks are tomato red.
“so close...” you moan, your legs trembling around him.
“i start talking about jungkook and now you’re gonna cum?” yoongi teases, earning another whine from you. “wow, one cock is really not enough for you, isn’t it…”
“yoongi!” you squeak when you feel his free hand on your pussy, he starts rubbing circles on your clit.
“gonna cum around my cock?”
“yes! yes, please!” you’re so fucking loud now but you couldn’t care less.
“you want him to hear you, huh?” yoongi chuckles.
“i’m g- gonna cum…” you mumble, the words almost not coming out.
“say his name,” yoongi says and you open your eyes in shock, pussy clenching around him. “say his name or you’re not coming.” he warns as he slows down his thrusts.
“yoongi, no…” you cry out.
“that’s not his name.” yoongi gives your clit a little lap that makes your body twitch.
“ju… jungkook.” you try and blush right after. it feels so wrong to moan someone else’s name in bed, you know yoongi wants it but it makes you feel so dirty. he wants you to feel like that.
“louder, baby.” he says and the contrast between that petname and the names he was calling you before makes you feel like you’re gonna pass out.
“jungkook!” you finally say, making yoongi grin down at you.
“that’s it, say it again.” he says and resumes the pace he was fucking you with before.
“jungkook!” you moan louder and yoongi’s fingers on your clit is faster. “fuck! oh my- ah! gonna cum!”
“good slut,” yoongi hums. “c’mon, cum for us.”
us.
the stupid word and its implications make you clench impossibly tight around him as the craziest shock waves run through your whole body. your vision goes blurry so you close your eyes while your body goes limp, completely exhausted as you feel yoongi slipping out.
you’re about to complain when you open your eyes and see him stroking his cock and moaning as white stripes of cum land on your sweaty chest.
“oh my god…” you sigh and throw one of your arms over your eyes.
you hum when you feel yoongi’s hand on your cheek. “are you okay?” he speaks so softly you could’ve sworn he’s not the guy who just fucked you.
“yeah.” you reply and something makes you start giggling lazily.
“what are you laughing about now?” yoongi says but yo can hear a smile in his voice.
“i can’t believe that happened.” you mumble and put your arm down to look at him.
“well, it happened.” he leans down and gives your lips a sweet kiss, then he gets down from the bed.
you watch him put his sweatpants and grab a towel from one of the drawers on his closet as your chest keeps going up and down, trying to get your breathing back to normal.
“seriously, are you okay?” he asks when he comes back to bed and sits down next to you, cleaning his cum from your stomach.
“yeah, just… a little sore,” you chuckle, your cheeks burning from how gentle he’s suddenly being with you. “i don’t know if i’m gonna be able to get up.”
“you can stay here for as long as you want.” he says softly and folds the towel, throwing it on a basket where you suppose he puts his dirty clothes.
“i would stay here all day,” you admit. “but i have work and i have to eat first.”
“i can prepare a bath for you,” yoongi says and your heart does something weird in your chest. “for your sore muscles.” he rubs a hand up and down your bare thigh.
“can you do that?” you look at him with big eyes.
“of course i can.”
“how can you be so sweet after everything you just did to me?” you ask and he chuckles, leaning down to kiss you again.
“aftercare is important, i take that really seriously.”
“okay,” you smile sweetly at him. “then go prepare that bath.”
he snorts. “brat.” but he stands up again and walks out of the room, closing the door after.
you stay there for a minute, staring at the ceiling and thinking about everything you just did in this bed. and you feel kinda good and giddy about it until you remember about jungkook.
you moaned his name. you yelled his name. and he for sure heard you. you shake the thoughts away from your head and decide to get up from bed. you need that bath.
your body begs you to lay down when you manage to stand up, your legs are sore and your whole body is so weak that you almost fall down when you grab yoongi’s shirt from the floor. you hum pleasantly when you put the shirt on and notice it covers you perfectly, yoongi always wears big clothes.
your trembling legs guide you out of the room and the smell of food cooking in the kitchen hits your nose and almost makes you moan at how hungry you are, jungkook must be cooking lunch right now. since he must be in the kitchen you take the chance to run to the bathroom, where yoongi is preparing your bath. but you’re proved wrong when you collapse against a hard chest in the middle of the corridor.
jungkook is looking down at you with something you can’t really read in his eyes. he just walked out of his room, he had probably left the food cooking in the kitchen.
“hi!” you say like nothing ever happened because you’re still so embarrassed, your cheeks burning again.
“hey.” jungkook mumbles and separates from you, motioning to walk past you and back to the kitchen.
you are walking past him and to the bathroom when he says your name, making you turn to him. “yes?”
“next time just come to my room instead of thinking about me when you’re with him.”
you freeze. you literally don’t know what to say.
you open your mouth to try and say something, probably something stupid, when yoongi appears right behind you.
“i think you should just join us next time.” he says and the smug expression on jungkook’s face completely disappears. he turns around and walks inside the kitchen again.
your shoulders drop in disappointment because the reaction kind of felt like a rejection but yoongi places his hand on your shoulder.
“he will come around,” he tells you. “he’s just stubborn.”
“yeah…” you mumble and turn around to follow him into the bathroom.
“you really want him, huh?” yoongi teases you but you completely ignore him, standing in front of the mirror and cringing at how messy you look. “my shirt looks good on you.” he adds, standing behind you.
a little smirk grows on your face as you look at him in the mirror. “you fuck me once and you’re already in love with me?” you tease.
“wow, look at how bratty that mouth is,” yoongi mumbles, crossing his arms against his chest. “but then you barely speak a word when you’re getting fucked.” that shuts your mouth completely and he looks proud of it.
“shut up…” you mumble and turn around to push him out of the bathroom. “get out, i wanna enjoy my bath.”
yoongi just chuckles to himself before turning around and leaving. you only notice the dumb smile on your face when you look at yourself in the mirror again.
yoongi has you smiling like that. and you also remember jungkook, how he basically told you to have sex with him again and the invitation actually sparked something inside of you.
you were just roommates a month ago but now you’re starting a dangerous game with the both of them. the thing is that it feels good, you can only hope it turns out alright.
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A/N: askssjdnandkdjas i hope you liked this chapter, please let me know your thoughts !!! it helps a lot to have feedback <3 i'm obviously makind this a series so pls look forward for the next chapter :) 💖 thank you all for reading ! have a nice day babes
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TAGLIST: @m4gg13-g @kooksbunnnn @baechugff @danielle143 @signingsongbird @dontcallmeelle @fancy-cloud @melakrish
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starbylers · 3 months
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After spending some time listening and re-listening and thinking a lot, I think I finally have my head wrapped around all these songs. This post is an exploration of what they could tell us about Mike’s story, and also a sort of theory I noticed once I saw the full picture. This playlist is—in my opinion—the story we’ve been theorising for the past two years reflected in 12 songs. That might sound hyperbolic but it’s simply what I heard and interpreted, and wanted to share because I enjoyed writing it. I hope this is an interesting read!
If you didn’t see my last post about why I do believe this is Finn’s Mike/ST playlist despite the somewhat ambiguous title you can read that here. It’s totally okay if you disagree but I’m not interested in debating it, and this analysis is coming from a perspective of assuming we've guessed correctly that the playlist relates to ST (obviously we can't 1000% verify that, but for the purposes of this post that’s my stance).
I’m going to focus on themes and overall meanings in the songs because in my opinion that’s where any connections are going to lie, rather than specific lines holding anything important (aside from a few which I’ll highlight) because I feel like that’s closest to how Finn would’ve thought while making it. Basically a macro level representation of Mike and what he goes through next season, something that would help a person get into the headspace of a character. Oh and my larger point is about the playlist as a whole, which will come together at the end :)
➠ Track 1 | Ballad of the Texas King
The first song is an anomaly in that I think it’s meant to set the tone more than anything else. These explain better than I could hope to:
"Itʼs a murder ballad, and as is common in murder ballads, deals with promise and innocence being snuffed out.” [link]
"Clarke sings of a chance encounter with an ominous figure that feels akin to selling your soul at the crossroads" [link]
Hey kid come along, something is wrong, I believe you now / All this to say only one way that this can go / Come with us for a ride / Don’t it feel like hell? Boy let me tell you, that’s where you are
• • •
A nice little coincidence, Finn himself is quoted as saying season 5 is a “crossroads”. I can see this song being an allusion to inevitable big choices with life-altering consequences next season, and also more mature themes being tackled within Mike’s story. I mean he’s stepping back into his role as leader, and now they’re older that will come with a lot more weight and responsibility in situations where the fate of the world is likely hanging in the balance. Not to mention how his personal struggles will be tied up in that, it’s probable that a slightly darker, more self-reflective—and transformative—tone is waiting for us in regards to season 5 Mike.
➠ Track 2 | What You're Doing
A simple song about a turbulent relationship where one person is unhappy because their partner is messing them around, and they're pleading with them to stop.
Look what you’re doing, I'm feeling blue and lonely / You got me running and there's no fun in it / Please stop your lying, you've got me crying, girl
The partner is the one holding control in the situation, while they feel at the mercy of their partner’s careless choices. The mood here is one of helplessness and desperation while still remaining open-hearted, hoping they’ll change.
I've been waiting here for you wondering what you're gonna do / If you should need a love that's true it’s me / Why should it be so much to ask of you what you're doing to me?
• • •
This is heavily M!Ieven coded. What do we know about their dynamic? Mike is always the one chasing El (trying to “win her back” in s3, terrified of her not needing him in s4, stressing about her being in danger all the time). El is consistently seeking autonomy (choosing to learn about her identity over pursuing romance with him in s2, choosing to break up with him in s3, choosing to leave him behind in s4, and I’m willing to bet she’s the one who removes herself from his storyline in s5). We know their separation will happen early season, and naturally things between them must be unstable leading up to this. El being the one to pull away while Mike stresses over it checks out considering these past patterns, and also the end of s4 with her already closing herself off while Mike appears at a loss.
➠ Track 3 | After The Earthquake
A song reminiscing on a relationship and the failure and death of it, with a sense of lingering nostalgia and unwillingness to let it go. It’s set to the backdrop of a metaphorical car crash.
It wasn't built to last / If you wake up you’ll remember the awful things I said / Looking back to the vibrant days / Those days I'd never let you fall apart but things fade / Why would I ever fall in love again when every detail’s over the guard rail? / Velvet curtains drawn, flowers at your feet / Say you’ll climb your way out of your wake now / Are you awake now?
• • •
In simpler terms…this is a break up song. The longing tone makes sense to me for M!Ieven because I’ve long suspected the initial split between them is not going to be super clean cut (this should make more sense later). Mike and El were together for a long time for their age, and have a lot of intense shared memories. El was also his first and only experience of relationships; it’s going to be difficult to detach. It being the right decision to end something doesn’t mean it’s easy or simple. Even if Mike is gay and didn’t truly like her romantically, he still loved her and in my opinion that distinction isn’t something he’s going to have figured out and made peace with the second it ends.
➠ Track 4 | Promises I've Made
Very straightforward and repetitive, and follows on seamlessly from the last song: this is about having trouble moving on from someone who’s left your life.
Ever since you have gone the days don't seem so bright and I wish I could forget you but I can’t / I have promised myself I wouldn't dream of you but I find that awful hard sometimes to do
• • •
Based on what I’ve seen people might fight me on this, but to me it’s M!Ieven coded mainly because of its positioning in the playlist (directly after a struggling relationship song + break up song) but also because it is technically about an ex love. Could we say it doesn’t need to be interpreted that specifically? Yes. I suppose it could be Byler coded too but personally...the way I would interpret it is as Mike moping over whatever happened with El. There’s not any intense emotional pining going on; if you listen it has a very laid back, chill sort of mood and is honestly very upbeat. There’s no deep heartbreak. It’s just about missing someone. Plus it sort of perfectly closes out the process we see over the last two songs of being unhappy with someone, to breaking up and grieving, to the typical post-break up struggle of navigating this hole in your life and naturally missing what once filled it. This is a whole sub-arc for Mike.
➠ Track 5 | Angst In My Pants
We’ve reached the gay section! This song is about trying to fit yourself into an acceptable—aspirational, even—life but never feeling content, and continuously trying to squash this troubling Feeling, the titular phrase: angst in (your) pants. Some people think it’s a reference to literal physical arousal but others including me think that in context it’s intended more as a metaphor for sexual frustration/dissatisfaction.
I hope it doesn't show, it'll go away / It's just a passing phase / When you’re all alone, you and your head / When you think you’ve made it disappear it comes again, hello, I’m here and I’ve got angst in my pants
The queer subtext here is very clear, I don’t think I even have to explain (check out the cover art too lol). The song closes with a realisation/acceptance that no, this “phase” won't ever go away i.e. it’s just who you are.
Give it a hundred years, it won't go away
I also thought one of the opening verse lines was an interesting segue from the last few songs:
But when you’re all alone and nothing bites you’d wish you stayed at home with someone nice
• • •
Angst In My Pants may aswell be titled Forced Conformity the thematic parallels to ST are that blatant. Another point for team Mike Wheeler actually is connected to the main themes of the show like all his other friends, and no it’s not because he’s somehow oppressed for being a nerd. Also rather than being about feelings for another person the song is about personal struggle with sexuality which excites me to think about in relation to Mike because we’ve been saying he needs to explore his own identity outside of being a love interest.
➠ Track 6 | The Better Side
A very sweet, slow, slightly melancholy song. I’ll be honest I cannot decipher more than 2/3 of the lyrics but here are the most meaningful ones of those I could:
I know you cry and I’m trying to keep you by my warmth
You’re never gonna see my eyes, you’re coloring all the skies you want to / I tried staying alive, keep my head on the better side when you’re far away
You’re on the better side you’re always the better one for me
You’re all that I need, I’m not gonna miss you anymore
My understanding is it’s about pining over someone who is a “better” choice, whatever that means in this context. Deciding you want someone, someone who you don’t currently have, someone who is maybe distracted, distant or physically absent? But vowing to change that because you recognise that you need them.
• • •
This directly follows the Gay Thoughts song, and precedes the Gay Thoughts song 2.0 so I feel safe interpreting it as Byler coded and about how it’s Mike’s turn to pine. (Also because “better” implies that there’s a “worse” i.e. this is a situation where you’re differentiating between two things i.e. in Mike’s case, Will vs El). I can envision Mike and Will getting moments together away from whatever chaos is surely going on, having the space to connect more where Mike starts becoming conscious of his feelings, realising slowly that Will is the “better” one for him. And as the song also suggests, perhaps Will has pulled away from him in the beginning. I think this is possible because the torment Will's likely going to endure from Vecna could understandably cause him to push Mike away, fearing his safety or him finding out how Will feels, and also I just don’t think he’ll be able to stand the pain of being M!Ieven’s couple’s counsellor for much longer without cracking. But I think Mike “it’ll be easier if we’re a team” Wheeler would make it his mission to fix any rift between them, the final line literally being I’m not gonna miss you anymore.
➠ Track 7 | Don't Ask Me To Explain
As far as I can tell, this song is about being afraid to face queer feelings for another person who is also hiding this about themselves, and being conflicted about whether to confess because you're not sure how they feel.
How will I ever know you enough to love you if you're hiding who you are? / How am I supposed to let it show when I don't even know? / Don’t move on without me, who will be watching my body when I sleep? / I don't want to be the one who's coming out first, I'd really like to but I'm just too shy
The end is an admission of…something. I’m not sure whether to interpret it as wishful thinking over this queer relationship you believe you can’t have, or as an offhand comment about forcing yourself to love someone you can’t because of your sexuality. Interesting either way:
It’s so easy to lie to myself and pretend that I could love you but I can't
I did do some research and the alleged true explanation of this song is it’s from one queer friend to another (man to woman, I assume both closeted, maybe a failed romance?) but I could only find one uncited source for that and everywhere else seems to agree with my interpretation so it seems when listening to the song that’s the story people hear. (Plus either way the song is about being queer. Undeniably so).
• • •
It’s not Byler coded we’re way past that, it literally just…is them. It does seem to suggest a level of internal conflict in Mike regarding coming out that I can’t say I expected (yes I have no doubts about canon Byler but I’m also a pessimist by nature—that should tell you how obvious their endgame is though lmao—so I assumed the Duffers would go wrong somewhere). I always thought he would be almost consciously clueless about himself until he finds out Will loves him, and the focus be more on him liking Will back rather than him liking boys (and obviously wasn’t a fan of that), but the prospect of Mike actually being aware and grappling with his sexuality is what we’ve been praying for and builds on the more low-level thrum of sexual confusion in Angst In My Pants. Oh and the song also could suggest Mike suspecting that Will likes him/is queer too before anyone confesses.
➠ Track 8 | What Do You Want Me To Do?
Another straightforward one. It’s quite angsty, a big contrast to the more sad feelings about a relationship from the earlier songs. This is about someone who left you for someone else/someone who walked out on you, who decides they want you back.
You walked out took your chance, turned your back on our romance / You said the change would do you good / But then the bubble burst your dream, turned into a nightmare scream / You came crawling to me your knees, and you were asking me to love you please
The main message of the repetitive chorus is basically: you want me to need you, but that’s not real love. You’re just using me to feel better about yourself.
What do you want me to do? Say that I need you more? Is that what real lovers do? Or only what you use me for?
• • •
I mean isn’t that last part how we’ve always described M!Ieven’s dynamic—all about aligning with the other’s needs whether for safety, validation or feeling ‘normal’, rather than genuine romance? I don’t think there’s any chance at all of El leaving Mike for someone else lol, as I said I don’t think we need to interpret these songs super specifically. But it does make me wonder: could we possibly see a moment of regression for El at some point in the season, after they separate? The focus here in my opinion is frustration at someone trying to re-enter your life when you know they don’t truly love you. Reflecting on their dynamic I talked about with earlier songs and their history in the show (El walking away, Mike scared to lose her), is it possible the break up could leave Mike struggling initially then he progressively understands why it was the right choice (especially after spending time with Will), meanwhile for El it’s the opposite—she’s more sure about breaking up but something happens later on that shakes her belief in herself. Her having one last hurdle to overcome in her dependency on Mike to finally break that pattern of hindering her growth by retreating to him could make sense. And based on this song…Mike would not be receptive to being El’s safety net. Growth for both of them.
➠ Track 9 | Substitute
Again, very angsty compared to earlier. It’s about a relationship characterised by false perceptions (focused on class), and those being what is holding it together. One partner is pretending to be something they’re not, cosplaying as someone else, and the other is also being dishonest/fake.
You think we look really good together / My fine looking suit is really made out of sack / The simple things you see are all complicated / Substitute your lies for fact / I see right through your plastic mac
The relationship breaks down because of this and their partner doesn’t truly want to fix things, and ultimately trades up.
Those crocodile tears are what you cry / It’s a genuine problem, you won’t try to work it out at all, you just pass it by / Substitute me for him / Substitute my coke for gin
Essentially: your partner not knowing the real you because you’re putting on a facade—the facade being the version of you they really like, the thing that was making you compatible—leads the relationship to fail. The literal title suggests neither of them as they are are what the other truly wants or needs.
• • •
Obviously this does not directly parallel M!leven in terms of the topic of the lying but in terms of the themes and core relationship issues…yeah. To me this could be about point Mike has reached after gradually coming to realisations about the nature of their relationship after it’s over, like I mentioned before. I can envision a mid-late season confrontation (or something less aggressive sounding lol) between them, pairing perfectly with the topic of the previous song. El scared trying to fall back on Mike and he’s like…no, we don’t work, I can’t be that for you anymore and this is why: betraying who he is (nerd) to impress her, trying so hard to play the “boyfriend” role (yet they never successfully emotionally connect), if he’s gay then there’s also the facade of straightness, etc. I think it would show a lot of emotional maturity from him honestly, and I really need him to have a strong grasp on what went wrong with El for them to have a shot at forming a healthy friendship, and also to psychologically process all that stuff before getting involved with Will.
➠ Track 10 | The Rebel Kind
A short song about life being tough when you don’t have much (this one is class-focused too), but still craving the freedom that comes from not following societal rules and pressures for how to do life “right”, and instead living on your own terms. Basically the struggle is worth not having to conform. The first verse sums it up pretty well:
They call us the rebel kind but they don’t understand the things a man must do to prove that he’s a man / It’s not easy but I don’t mind, I just wanna run with the rebel kind
• • •
Again, obviously the specific topic is not relevant to ST but the thematic parallels blew my mind, I mean the entire show is about people being outcasts and learning to find strength in that, and the final season is going to majorly drive that point. We know this from the fact that Will “being different” Byers is the one who’s arc is said to tie up the whole show. Now in regards to Mike…if this doesn’t scream forced conformity and deciding to reject it for your own happiness I don’t know what does. It perfectly captures the thematic end point of his arc next season (and not just his but probably the entire party’s in one way or another). Also the toxic masculinity reference in that one line applies heavily to Mike with his history of trying so hard to do what he thinks he supposed to do in going from boy to man i.e. We’re not kids anymore. Did you think we were never gonna get girlfriends?
➠ Track 11 | Block Rockin’ Beats
Another one I think is mainly to set a tone; no real lyrics just beats. In my opinion it comes after The Rebel Kind for a reason. Somehow it just makes sense, it’s got this really loud, frenzied, unrestrained energy to it.
➠ Track 12 | Just What I Needed
We end off with a love (or desire?) song. It’s interesting because it’s quite aggressive sonically but at the same time it talks about being with someone in a simple uncomplicated way:
I don’t mind you coming here and wasting all my time / I don’t mind you hanging out and talking in your sleep
…but it’s also very intense how you feel with them.
Cause when you’re standing oh so near I kinda lose my mind
There’s a repeated line that stuck in my head. It’s obviously written about a female subject, but there is such a rejection of the feminine going on:
It’s not the perfume that you wear, it’s not the ribbons in your hair
It’s saying those feminine attributes are not why this person is attractive—and yeah logically that means the subject must have those things, but as I’ve said I don’t think these songs need to be interpreted on such a specific level. The point being made is about a deeper connection. The line is just intriguing to me from the perspective of Mike being into boys, I mean he could’ve picked literally any other romance song.
I needed someone to feed / I needed someone to bleed / I guess you’re just what I needed
The message here is basically: I was craving the rawest form of connection/intimacy with another human being (that doesn’t have to necessarily mean sexual it’s just those visceral words feed, bleed in comparison to perfume and ribbons which sound very fluffy lol)…and now I’ve found you and it’s exactly what I was looking for.
• • •
With all the themes through the songs of rejecting fake relationships and conformity, and accepting and exploring queerness…Will Byers is obviously going to be the thing Mike needed. I’ve been saying (and so have many) but Byler isn’t happening till the end. Also the playlist finishing with this song is telling in my opinion. Aside from the Castle Byers Classics link, the title itself implies searching for something which is now found, a journey being over. I say this for the purposes of pushing my agenda about this playlist painting a narrative. Hear me out:
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Personally……that’s not accidental. It just isn’t. Even if my more specific interpretations aren’t correct, I just cannot believe that this wasn’t curated to draw a particular picture. I believe in coincidences and if the playlist had been titled as it was with a bunch of random unconnected irrelevant songs I’d be the first person to file it under that. But the title and the inclusion of a song from Will’s official playlist and these specific songs in this specific order? Yeah it’s about s5 Mike and I cannot wait to see him! If you made it this far thanks for reading <3
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meanbossart · 8 months
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I appreciate how you write Astarion so, SO much. I feel like way too many fic writers infantilize him to a point where I honestly start wondering if I'm the one who misinterpreted him so badly.
I'd love to know more about what you think of his character and his arc. Personally I saw him and immediately went "oh god this guy is gonna be the irritating tumblr sexyman of the year🙄" and it took me until Araj basically to warm up to him. What were your initial thoughts and did they change much while playing the game?
OH thank you so much!!! That's a shame if it's the case, and a little surprising to me, to be honest! While he's definitely written be an aloof jerk a lot of the time, I always found him to be surprisingly mature and introspective whenever he's not dishing out witty remarks. He comes off to me as the kind of person who learned to benefit from seeming dumber than he actually is, overall.
HAHA I had a VERY similar experience, not just towards Astarion but all the characters, really (I really disliked Shadowheart at the beginning, too). I had only seen pictures of him and pretty much expected a vapid character that was being carried to stardom because of a talented VA - and because people go nuts for anne rice style vampires lol.
While I was definitely enjoying his voice lines from the start (Again kudos to Neil) I definitely wasn't expecting much else. He piqued my interest after so devastatingly turning my character down at the tiefling party without me even having inquired, and that's when I, the gamer, was like "well, alright, I GOTTA fuck this guy now" (this is also where DU drow's personality began to come out as you can probably guess)
Obviously, if you have two neurons to rub together you can gather pretty quickly that he's not trying to woo you because you're so interesting and wonderful, so I started getting curious! With that dynamic being so different from what you usually expect of romances in these types of games, plus the charming way in which he is written, I started being won over.
I think what really did it was how gradually his attitude changed when responding to new, mostly trivial dialogue options and doing his greetings as you earned his trust, and ESPECIALLY with how he responds to your tav when you express any kind of fear or insecurity during his romance - which was with a lot of sincerity and confidence in his resolve to support you, and in you as a person, a complete 180 from his usual front - Which, again, makes me all the more surprised to hear that he's often painted with such an immature brush.
And obviously he has a DEEPLY ugly side to him (if you've read ANE, hopefully it's clear that I know this, and that I like to explore it just as much as anything else lmao) but it's very interesting to me how it seem to always come in the form of outbursts, rather than a constant evil-streak, usually followed by a glimpse of self-awareness. It feels very much in line with someone who's actually making a great deal of effort to manage their RAMPANT emotions and going through a lot of internal conflict in the process.
GAH. Yeah if you can't tell by this friggin' thesis I just wrote, I love the way they wrote this character a lot and I was definitely proven PROFOUNDLY wrong in my first impression of him - which, if that's not irony at it's finest I don't know what is.
And as an aside! I also very much appreciate that he's a "queer" coded character who's effeminate (in the Old Homo kind of way, but I digress) and flamboyant, but taken Dead Fucking Seriously. With as much progress as we've made in LGBT rep in media, I still often feel like gay men will only get that kind of treatment for as long as they "Aren't That Gay" (I know Astarion doesn't have a set sexuality - But lets not mince words: stereotypes exist, and he fits into most of them) and as a thin-wristed gay guy who's a little too found of linen shirts, I can honestly say that experiencing a character like that helped me with my own confidence.
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houxe · 7 months
Text
Regarding my SBI/DSMP Fics
TW: Abuse, Trauma, and Mentions of Suicide.
With all that has happened, I did want to come out here and make my stance clear. I will always stand with Shelby (Shubble) and all of the victims who are speaking out against Will Gold (Wilbur Soot). If you still support that bastard, unfollow me and leave my blog and whatever small community I made.
I've already stated this is my Discord channel, but I want to put it here too.
For me, c!Wilbur is so far removed from cc!Wilbur that I don't connect the two. The characters are vessels for my own characterizations and stories. It's a bit like writing Supernatural*, Twilight, or Hazbin Hotel fanfics. I don't support the guy, monetarily or otherwise, he does not interact with fanfics, I have plans to be very vocal that I'm on Shelby's side no matter what/make it clear that what Will did is wrong, and I don't use his real life events as plots in my stories. At least, I certainly don't try to. It's why I typically change traits about the characters. (I.e. Tommy is shorter, Phil is taller, Techno is bulky, and Wilbur always has golden/hazel eyes.)
I'm aware that it's a tad different because it's rp and not something like a full on book or an actor in a movie, but DSMP has also been over for over two years and the characterizations I make for SBI are not at all based on the CCs. Real life Techno isn't a literal terrorist, Phil ain't a father married to a goddess, Tommy is not a traumatized child soldier, and Wilbur isn't suicidal and blowing up countries.
I think I'll likely focus more on Techno, Tommy, and Phil for a while, but I'm not gonna let one dude ruin a fandom and things I've made for myself. Nothing I write is ever made for Wilbur, as I've seen people saying. Additionally, Wilbur was not the only writer. Technoblade, Philza, TommyInnit, and so many others made that story what it was. Not him.
However, if any CCs come forward saying they don't want their old characters interacting with his, I will respect that.
Though I do think there is a tendency to take real life events (i.e. Techno's cancer, LJ's music, Tommy's real life parents, etc.) and put them into fiction about DSMP. I, however, don't try to do that and have stated before that I don't feel comfortable doing so. The truth is that we have not gotten any genuine SBI content outside of DSMP for years. The dynamic in real life is very different from what was presented in the DSMP. Did personalities still bleed over? Yes, I'm not going to deny that, but I'm not going to act like they're exactly the same between character and person either. We've had that conversation like in 2021, it's why we have C! and CC!.
The rather sad truth is, SBI is what got me really into writing and it's a comfort for me that nothing can compare to. Obviously, I don't think it's appropriate to be writing certain types of stories right now or to be involving characters made by CCs outside of the DSMP. I think it's up to everyone else to decide on what they want to do, however, rushing it also isn't the way to go either. Give yourself time to heal and think it over first instead of throwing away something that gives you comfort and has not been associated with by the creators for over two years.
Anyways, fuck Will Gold. Fuck the fact that he hurt so many people, and fuck that he lied and manipulated his way around the damn internet. ESPECIALLY fuck the fact that he tried to diminish what he did and not take proper accountability.
Go and support Shelby so so much, she and everyone who spoke out really deserve it. I'm glad silence on these types of issues is not being normalized.
Here is a list of (American) resources for DV help:
TNLR
RAINN
WOAR
Love is respect
The Trevor project
Futures without violence
National domestic violence hotline
Resource on what DV and abuse looks like
*Changed it from Harry Potter to Supernatural because Harry Potter is a significantly worse and more problematic franchise, even just within the content of the books. It'd be better left in the dust. I've talked about it before, but it was the first thing that came to my mind at the time and was a poor comparison on my part, I'm truly sorry for that.
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the-music-maniac · 5 months
Text
I just saw a take on zosan that was awful enough I had to block the person. They labelled their post "hot takes" and it annoyed me enough that I felt like hating on it from afar in a vague way would be less destructive than writing an entire essay in this person's comments section.
If you like treating Sanji like a babygirl - just say so. Nothing wrong with that. Don't act like uke-ifying him is accurate to his canon characterization though. If you don't like Zoro as a character, just SAY THAT. Don't act like your shitty understanding of him as a character should be common sense. Their premise was that zosan would work best as a non sexual relationship - sure I'm fine with that. Sounds like an interesting premise. Why tho?
The reasons were stupid.
1. Apparently bc Zoro is too much of a neanderthal and BC he doesn't shower frequently Sanji would never touch him blah blah (Sanji smokes ten million cigarettes a day, I assure you he doesn't smell good) y'all should stop treating him like a babygirl bc bleh Zoro stinky and likes drinking and where did that whole he's Nami's gay best friend thing come from, he isn't that, he doesn't deserve it. Okay??? First of all - last I checked babygirl didn't require certain qualifications - so fuck off? I've concluded that Zoro is the only babygirl and you can foam at the mouth all you want, I'm not changing my mind. Second of all, did you forget that NAMI can drink people under the table too?? Zoro does canonically have a very friendship/sibling-like dynamic with Nami. They argue and fight, but they care about each other. If there is anyone who would make sense as a headcanon of one of Nami's close friends? Zoro would be a candidate. Usopp I would argue would be a better option, but Zoro also makes sense. Third of all, Sanji spends all day cooking (often cooking SEAFOOD) in a three piece suit and then smoking like a chimney. He may shower more frequently than Zoro but I assure you he doesn't smell like a rose garden either. You also can't be a cook if you shy away from a little elbow grease and sweat. Getting dirty for your craft is something he understands. He also has atrocious fashion sense when it comes to clothes that are not suits and he's a lil crazy in the same way all the strawhats are but he hides it well. Sanji is a ridiculous man and I like him that way. Stop it.
2. Sanji isn't some fainting flower, and it annoys me that this person was trying to paint him that way as if it's a forgone conclusion. Their argument was that he screams at bugs, and they were using it as an argument on why Sanji is apparently a babygirl who could never top anyone (why in the world does sex position even play a factor here??). They also pinpointed that Sanji wears suits and swoons at women as a reason why he's likely not gonna top anyone and is gonna remain a virgin. Admittedly I stopped reading at that point bc I made the executive decision to block the person for my own peace of mind, so I perhaps misunderstood (I barely understood the argument in the first place) but I still don't see how any of these factors have anything to do with sex position, or a sexual relationship not working with zosan. I'm all for asexual zosan. But y'all need to stop treating Sanji like some frail twink. That man is badass. He has a strong enough kick to kill a man, his leg catches on fire, he can fucking fly, he gives as good as he gets when it comes to his interactions with Zoro, he survived years and years of abuse from his family and came out a kindhearted person with principles. He is strong af. Again. STOP. IT.
3. None of those reasons for why they wouldn't have sex make sense to me because they operate under an assumption that Sanji would find Zoro gross so obvi they wouldn't have sex. The person fundamentally misunderstood that most people who like zosan aren't there bc they want smut, they're there because Zoro and Sanji are equal and opposites and they understand each other in a very fundamental way from the moment they met. Yes, their relationship is antagonistic, but in the way that Brogy and Dorry are set up in that one episode. If you understand that, then you get that when it comes to rivals, when it comes to their competition and their interactions with each other, Sanji wouldn't give a shit about avoiding getting his hands dirty. That is not the type of person he is. Zoro is his one exception in that sense. He has etiquette and acts like a refined gentleman, and then Zoro issues a challenge and Sanji is there, IMMEDIATELY ready and willing to throw down. He swoons over women, Zoro says anything and IMMEDIATELY Sanji's attention is all on Zoro. I have to wonder if this person even fucking watched the show before deciding to pass a bunch of unfounded judgements.
Alright, rant done.
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elllisaaa · 5 months
Note
Can you do sub Beomgyu smut?
[cuz I'm a female dom, and I absolutely fucking love hove bratty he is and his whines make me- well, wet]
uk those fics where the reader, teases them in public and they punish xer/xim in the bathrooms/public???
can you do that with sub beomgyu, and rough and dom reader[any gender is fine, preferrably female]?
only if you're comfortable though...
ALL MINE - C. BEOMGYU
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-> pairing : brat sub!beomgyu x fem dom!reader
-> words count : 1.6k
-> genre : smut
-> warnings : dom/sub dynamic, teasing, dirty talk, praising, semi-public sex, face slapping, cock slapping, gagging, humiliation, bondage, choking, use of 'good boy', 'whore', 'slut' and 'miss', handjob, cum eating
+ the way i'm depicting beomgyu does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction.
-> 18+ content bellow, minors dni
-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language
-> author's note : i fucking love to write subby men, and beomgyu and his bratty attitude gives me the perfect opportunity to do so. as you said, he gives out that vibe so much ! it was so fun to write this, thank you anonie, hope you'll enjoy this !
-> masterlist | txt masterlist
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Going out with your friends had always been an activity that you liked, the feeling of joy when you reunited with them couldn’t be compared to anything else. But now that you were taking Beomgyu with you, it was even more fun. Why ? Because he wanted to impress your friends so badly, he wanted to make a good impression on them. That’s why he kept trying to present himself in a good light, and acting as if he was the one leading your relationship when you both knew that behind closed doors, you had him on his knees for you. 
Despite that being well established, and your rules being really strict, Beomgyu had been not so subtly touching you the whole night : putting his hand on your thigh, leaning in to whisper some dirty things in your ears, and even taking your own hand to bring it closer to his crotch under the restaurant table. Not that you particularly minded playing this type of game in public, but it wasn’t how it was supposed to go. You had made it clear to him before going out - that he will get his reward for having been good all week if he did one last thing for you, which simply consisted in behaving and not teasing you during this dinner out. 
After spending two years together, you thought that you would have finally succeeded in taming his bratty attitude. But no. It was coming out every now and then, and always when you were the most frustrated and had the least patience left. It was almost as if Beomgyu had a second sense that allowed him to know when to mess with you just so he could get punished harshly. Well, truth be told, maybe it was exactly why he was doing this - because he knew that the way you were going to torture him will be delicious. 
“- Haven’t I made it clear, baby ? Keep your hands off me tonight and you’ll get what you want, okay ?”
Beomgyu threw his best pleading eyes at you, still not listening to your orders as you felt his fingers creep up higher underneath your dress. You let out an exasperated sigh, pushing his hand away from you. Under the guise of getting closer to you, your boyfriend nuzzled his head in your neck, whining in your ears.
“- But I need you so bad, I’ve been good, just let me touch you, I’ll be quick.
- You know what, you wanna be a slut and a brat ? You’re gonna get punished instead. Go to the bathroom and wait for me.”
For once, Beomgyu listened, getting up from the table and excusing himself. You let some minutes go by, and when you felt like he had been marinating for long enough, you got to the bathroom too, saying that you were going to see if your boyfriend was doing good.  
“- You’re not even able to not touch yourself for ten minutes ? You’re a fucking whore Beomgyu.
- Y-Yes but only for you.”
His cocky smile despite his shake voice and his hands stroking his clothed boner made you want to break him, to wipe the smug look in his eyes. You entered fully in the small cabin of the bathroom, pushing him to sit down on the toilets. You locked the door behind you and detached the ribbon you put in your hair before going out. 
“- Give me your hands. 
- No.”
The loud sound your hand produced when you slapped him echoed in the bathroom along with the moan he let out. You grabbed his hair roughly, tugging on them to get him to look at you. His once confident look was now completely gone, his eyes glassy and he was almost ready to drop on his knees. But he loved to test your patience even more. So he still didn’t give you his hands, and moaned again when you slapped his other cheek. 
“- You’re getting on my fucking nerves Beomgyu, if you wanna cum you better give me your hands.”
Without saying a word, he did it and you tied them together with your little pink ribbon. It was quite funny how you were always dressed so cute, with cute little make-up and cute little hairpins, but once you were alone with him, you turned into the nastiest little demon. And Beomgyu loved this contrast, loved to know how people could never suspect the real dynamic of your couple. 
“- See ? You know how to be good so behave.
- But I don’t wanna.
- You will when I’ll make you cry. All it takes is for me to touch your small dick and you’re begging for me to let you cum, right ?”
Beomgyu wanted to protest, to say something, but you were already squeezing his hard cock through his clothes, stroking him at a quick pace, that had him squirming in place and whimpering out loud. Your other hand came up to his throat, getting a firm hold of it, enough to shut him up a little. 
“- Y/N… Baby, baby…
- What ? You’re complaining now ? You’ve got what you wanted though, or is it still not enough for you, fucking slut ?”
Your boyfriend nodded as he tried to free his hands from the ribbons, but you had grown too used to tying him up because he was constantly acting up. It felt good to be completely at your mercy, but he also wanted to touch you, wanted to feel and lick your skin, wanted to grip on the flesh of your ass while you bounced on his cock and milked him dry. 
“- You’re so greedy. You’re gonna take what I give if you wanna cum, understood ? 
- A-And if I don’t want t-to ?”
A sinister smile spread on your lips, your hand squeezing his throat harder, making him choke on his own words. 
“- Then you don’t cum at all.”
You let go of his cock, going as far as taking a step back and Beomgyu’s eyes opened wider. He tried to reach your hand and pull you back to him, but his tied wrists wouldn’t allow it and he let out a desperate whine. 
“- No, no, no, I need to cum !
- Beg for it.”
He shook his head and earned himself another slap, his cheeks starting to get red, and not only because of the unbearable heat of his body. But he loved how much it stinged everytime you hit him again. Beomgyu let out another loud moan when you slapped his cock over his clothes this time, and you shoved two fingers inside his mouth, smirking at the way he gagged around them, and at how quickly his eyes welled up with tears.
“- I said, beg for it. Are you ready to be good now ?”
You slapped his hard on once more, staring at his face when a tear rolled down his left cheek, saliva starting to drip down his chin and neck. When you pulled your fingers out, he was a mess, and you knew you had finally ruined him for the day.
“- Please, please miss I’ll be your good boy now, I’ll do everything you want, just let me cum please, please !
- There we go baby, was it so difficult, uh ?”
When you slipped your hand in his boxer to touch him for real after having been deprived from the skin to skin contact for such a long time made him cry out so loud you had to shut him up with your fingers again, fearing that someone would hear him.
“- You want everyone to hear you, is that it ? Screaming like the slut you are because you love the attention ?”
Beomgyu tried to protest, tried to say that he only wanted to be good for you, that he made all these noises because he knew you loved it when he was loud, but the pleasure was already overtaking his body and all his senses. The rush of adrenaline this situation was giving him made him feel so overwhelmed he felt like he could cum right now. He grabbed the only thing he could reach -  the fabric of your dress - to catch your attention, his muffled noises giving away how close he was to his release. 
“- What is it baby ? You’re close already ?”
You chuckled when he vigorously nodded his head, closing his eyes to focus on him and trying to delay his orgasm because you hadn’t given him permission to cum.
“- I’ll let you cum then, but on one condition baby. You’re gonna stain your pretty pants with your cum, and then we’re gonna leave. And if you follow my rules for once, I’ll reward you once we get home. Did you understand ?”
He nodded once again, his hips jerking into your hand as if they had a mind on their own. 
“- Then go on baby, cum all over yourself, be my good boy.”
The last praise that you whispered in his ear did it for him. He came all over your hand and himself, a wet patch quickly forming on his blue jeans as he whined around your fingers, his own hands tugging on the material of your dress to pull you closer to him. Before he could even register what you were doing, you showed him your hand covered in his cum, and Beomgyu didn’t need you to ask him before he started cleaning you off, eating his own release from your skin. Once you were satisfied, you finally detached his hands, letting him pull you into a hug and bury his head against your stomach while you threaded your fingers through his hair. 
“- You did so good for me baby, such a good boy.”
He hummed in agreement, his hands sliding from your lower back to your ass, giving them a squeeze. 
“- Does this mean I earned my reward ?
- Don’t get too confident now, you still have to make it up to me for ruining my night out with my friends.”
And Beomgyu agreed with you, because that meant he would spend the next two hours with his head buried between your thighs - his favorite way to apologize.
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-> i don't allow any copies, translations or reposts of my works.
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txt taglist (fill in this to be added) :
@bbgnyx @hann1bee @iraisswiftie @lichyuu @foxinnie8
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oh-no-its-bird · 11 days
Text
Chasing Shadows inspired time travel au where Fugaku and Kakashi get zapped to the warring states, but things become tricky when they keep looking to Hikaku as their shared "figure of respect/responsibility" (bc hes the Uchiha head in future Konoha, having lasted long enough to make Fugaku his heir) when at this time he's just barley third in command and Madara is like. RIGHT there.
That's not even mentioning the ticking time bomb of "Kakashi looks like Tobirama did as a child" that's already been established, that's gonna cause problems (half-Hatake Tobirama who's Kakashi's blood uncle agenda goes brrr)
(For those who don't know what Chasing Shadows is, all u really need to know for this is that Kakashi is 6, Fugaku is 19, and Hikaku is the acting Uchiha clan head at 76. A week after his fathers suicide, Kakashi found out he's related to Tobirama via his grandmother, projects on him really fucking hard, and eventually ends up with Hikaku acting as one of multiple mentor figures to him.)
Fugaku, aware that the Uchiha compound of this era isn't uhh. The best place for a Hatake kid who resembles one of their greatest enemies to a suspicious degree: "maybe u should leave actually. Go shack up with the Senju or smthn"
Kakashi, now heavily biased towards the Uchiha bc of Hikaku and Fugaku: "ok but why."
Izuna, standing directly behind him holding a giant mallet:
The Uchiha are arguing ab what they should do w Kakashi and if they should like. Take him as political hostage (assuming, not entirely incorrectly, that he's related to Tobirama and Hashirama) but also like. The Hatake are an isolated clan that famously react very fucking badly when their kids are threatened. So is this a potential political tool for them to use or a ticking time bomb to when they accidentally potentially get a new clan (who's already allied to the Senju) involved in their feud.
The Uchiha writing to Tobirama and Hashirama like "we have ur secret little brother/cousin(?) come talk to us now or he gets it"
"You have our what."
Hashirama is going "ahaha oh nooo my secret little brother,, who I love very much and also know exactly who ur talking about but would love it if u could send a portrait or chakra signature or smthn just to make sure its the right kid,,, u know how it is <3"
I feel like I've used that beat before actually. Which one of my like 20 Kakashi to warring states time travel aus have I pulled this in?? Possibly multiple tbh
Anyways Hashirama also going "oh nooo u have my baby brother,, I guess we have no choice but to talk andmaybedopeace"
Anyways. I need a Hikaku focused character study sooo badd,, the pipe he uses in Chasing Shadows is Madara's, have I mentioned that yet? Bc it totally is and no one really knows that and like. Hikaku sure as fuck won't mention it bc it'd really only bring bad things
Kakashi and Fugaku are making surprised Pikachu faces at Hikaku like every time they see him, neither can get over seeing him this young and not blind and also not in charge. It's unnatural.
Even logically knowing that they can't just place their full trust in him bc hes not their Hikaku, they still can't stop themselves from doing it accidentally— Fugaku is his ward, he was raised by the guy. And Kakashi is a moody 6 year old who only has like 5 actually trusted adult figures in his life and only 3 of those he gives actual respect and Hikaku is one of those 3.
That's totally gonna fuck them over in the future bc, again, Hikaku doesn't know them!!! His clan and his loyalty to Madara + Izuna will always come first over these odd strangers, sorry
Maybe throw Mikoto in too, who's Izuna's granddaughter (that resemblance is gonna cause issues) and Fugaku's begrudging fiance (Hikaku said Fugaku could become clan head on ONE condition— marrying Izuna's granddaughter back into the main line), could be fun
Maybe I'll try to write smthn like this once I'm more into the meat of chasing shadows and have set up the Hikaku-Fugaku-Kakashi dynamic enough that people are invested in it
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seasons-of-death · 12 days
Text
kook!reader camping with bf!pope heyward
warnings: fluffy smut, loss of virginity, awkwardness but in a sweet way, praise, MDNI i really wanted to write something sweet but also smutty and i got this idea a few days ago ,,, also as someone who was a girl scout for six years pope being a former boy scout is canon in my heart. anyway i'm definitely gonna write more kook!reader x pope bc i love their dynamic sm … currently planning a moodboard for them
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when pope's great idea for your birthday was to take you camping, to say you were reluctant would be an understatement, especially since your initial plan was to lose your virginity on said day, and the thought of sleeping in the middle of some forests surrounded by mosquitos and god knows what kind of wild animals wasn't exactly your idea of a "romantic evening."
you couldn't help it, you had always been a planner, and when pope had brought up the idea of camping with you for your birthday, you had subtly tried to tell him it wasn't something you were too interested, but the boy seemed so sweetly clueless about it, you didn't want to burst his bubble of excitement, especially when he showed you the camping gear he'd dug up from his storage from his days as a boy scout.
so, you just decided to try and make it as romantic as possible. your parents had conveniently misplaced one of their expensive bottles of wine, which had somehow ended up in your trunk, and you had purchased a new lingerie set as well as condoms, wanting to make sure you were prepared.
you were pacing around your bedroom, your duffle bag having been packed with the things you'd need; you didn't know why you were nervous, it wasn't like you'd never done anything sexual, and more often than not, your heated makeout sessions in your bed ended up with his hand in your panties or his cock in your mouth.
but the thing was... he had no idea that you were a virgin. sure, you had boyfriends before him, but most of the time things stayed strictly hand-or-mouth zone. but honestly, the moment you two drove to the nearby cliffs and he told you about the different constellations, you were ready to jump him right there, but you didn't want to give him the wrong idea, so you simply adored him while the boy pointed out the stars to you. however, after a few weeks of dating, he drunkenly told you about how he'd only slept with one person, and was kind of worried that you were more experienced, which you found adorable.
but, when you finally heard your doorbell ring, you took a deep breath, and tried to calm yourself down before having to face your boyfriend and have the boy realize that you had just spent the entire morning overthinking a simple camping trip.
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"are we going where i think we're going?" you asked pope, the boy driving your car, having nicked your sunglasses off the dashboard, now covering his eyes, and to be fair, they looked much better on him than they did on you.
"damn, have i already lost the ability to surprise you?" he chuckled, making you roll your eyes playfully, the boy taking your right hand into his and pressing a kiss onto it, "we are. but i have a surprise for you waiting there."
honestly, i should've known that the place he was taking me was the location of our first date even before he turned the car on; he wouldn't really admit it, but there was a part of him that could be incredibly cheesy, and you liked that about him. most of the guys you'd dated before him hadn't been nearly as thoughtful as pope was, and even though you'd only dated him for a few months, he'd been more considerate than some boyfriends you'd been with for close to a year.
it wasn't long until the two of you arrived near the cliffs where you'd had your first date, pope taking your hand into his as you traipsed through the woods, the boy much more comfortable in the terrain that you were, and whenever you were about to trip, he steadied you, trying not to laugh.
you gasped when you finally realized what pope's surprise was, when you noticed a tent perched close to the cliff, overlooking the water. the two of you walked closer to it, and that was when you realized that pope had put up fairy lights all around the tent, and there was a blanket that stretched all the way over to the cliff so you could sit there and look at the stars like you'd done on your first date.
"do you like it?" he asked, as he wrapped his warm arms around you, and you looked up to him with a smile, nodding eagerly, the sight in front of you causing your heart to clench in your chest. "i love it."
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"how many times do i need to tell you to blow on it?" pope laughs, almost doubling over on the blanket as he just watched while you struggle with the s'more, letting the gooey confection fall onto a plastic plate before you took a large chug of wine from your plastic cup, the liquid now lukewarm.
you'd spent the day swimming, watching while pope surfed, playing cards, and simply talking, now he was blowing onto your s'more, while the two of you sat on the blanket on the cliff, and as you felt the wine starting to warm you up, the last thing you cared about was your damn s'more, but you also didn't know how to initiate, the boy always-
"i wanna have sex."
before you could think about your wording any more, it just... slipped out, pope's eyes widening as he let out a cough, nearly choking on his wine as he processed your words. "what?" he asked in between coughs, and you waited for him to start coughing before repeating yourself.
"i wanna have sex. with you, if that wasn't clear." you said, clearing your throat, "that came out... more straightforward than i intended." you said with a small smile, feeling your cheeks warm up as you looked down at the ground.
"are... are you sure?"
"yeah. i mean, i've wanted it for a really long time, but i suck at initiating any of that stuff, and i haven't ever done it before so it's probably gonna be awkward and if you don't want to, that's also fine and i can definitely wait even longer but-"
before you could babble any longer, pope pressed his lips on yours, and somehow his kiss could make you forget everything you were thinking about, your focus only on him as he pulled you closer by your waist, hunger evident in every move he made as if he hadn't just eaten three s'mores, his lips tasting of the red wine you'd been sharing.
he pulled away from the kiss, the palm of his hand moving to cup your cheek, "i'd love to, but... are you sure? like... absolutely sure? you really haven't... done it before?"
"i'm more than sure." you say, your voice weak from the effect his kiss had on you, "i've known pretty much from the first time you kissed me right here. you're... just the sweetest guy i know. you're so smart, and... i've never liked anyone as much as i like you."
"you're adorable." he says as he tugs a strand of hair behind your ear, "i, uhh... i just don't have any..." pope clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck, and although you didn't know it, he was internally cursing himself for not accepting the condom jj had offered him earlier. "protection, y'know."
"i do."
pope almost let out a chuckle at how fast you had rebutted his words, the boy watching as you pulled out a condom from your purse, pressing his tongue against his cheek. "you came prepared, huh?" he couldn't help but grin, his amusement only heightening when he saw the pout on your face, the boy pressing a small kiss on your lips, "i think that's cute."
it wasn't long until the two of you were tangled on the blanket under the stars, pope's shirt thrown into the tent, your dress pushed up until it was only covering your breasts, pope kneading the fat of your ass, his lips greedily consuming yours.
he pulled away from the kiss, leaving the both of you panting and breathless, his calloused hands pulling your dress off in its entirety, throwing it into the tent, his lips attaching themselves to your neck while you unbuttoned and unzipped his shorts, one of his fingers slipping into your panties, the boy letting out a small chuckle into the crook of your neck when he felt how wet you were.
when the rest of your clothes were discarded, you watched as he rolled the condom onto his hard cock with a sigh, biting down on your lip as a mixture of eagerness and nervousness rolled around in your abdomen.
"tell me if it hurts too much, or if you want to stop, alright?" he looked at you with raised brows, pressing a gentle kiss on your lips as his chest was pressed against yours, pope brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. "i will." you smiled, positioning your hands on his shoulders.
you weren't quite prepared for the loud gasp that he'd pull you from you when only the tip of his cock was in you; sure, he'd prepared you and tried to stretch you out with his fingers beforehand, but even his thick digits hadn't prepared you enough.
"are you alright?" he paused his movements, peppering soft kisses on your neck, "just tell me if you want me to stop."
"i'm okay..." you said breathlessly, "go ahead."
it took you a while to get used to feeling him stretch you out, it definitely didn't help that pope was probably the biggest guy you had dated, but slowly it started hurting less and less, the boy whispering sweet words into your ear as he moved inside of you slowly, your back arching against the blanket, your nails digging into his back every time he bottomed out inside of you, causing him to let out low groans every time he hit that spot inside of you.
"you're doing so well..." he spoke softly, his thumb rolling over your clit, slowly starting to pick up his pace, "taking me so well... don't know how i went so long without you, you feel so fucking good..."
his lips attached themselves to one of your hardened nipples, your mind turning hazy as you tried to focus on all the sensations pope was making you feel, the coil in your stomach growing with every roll of his hips, one of your hands in his hair as you let out a moan, arching into his mouth.
"pope, i'm getting close..." your words were between a mumble and moan, but it seemed that pope still understood what you had said, picking up his pace just slightly so it'd be easier for you to achieve your orgasm.
it wasn't long until you were moaning out his name, overcome with your orgasm as he continued moving inside of you, slowing down his movements as he let you ride out your orgasm.
when pope had come undone himself, he threw the used condom into the trash bag he had brought, pulling you close to his chest as he pressed a kiss on top of your head, covering your naked bodies with another blanket.
"that's cepheus." he said against your hair, pointing up at one of the constellations in the sky while you simply nuzzled closer to his chest, letting out a soft "mmhm..." as you closed your eyes, somehow feeling more comfortable on a cliff in the middle of the forest than you even did in your own bed. "happy birthday."
BONUS: before he came to see you, when pope told his friends about what his plan for your birthday was, jj definitely clapped him on the back and said, "you're finally gonna get laid!" and tried to get him to take a condom with him, but pope just looked at him murderously.
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lemonhemlock · 2 months
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what are they doiiiing, man
The more I believed I wasn't a book puritist, the more this show is trying to make me one because what are they doing?
Everything is inconsistent from episode to episodo and from season to season, like they're not even trying to make it believable
The only good thing is fr Daemon plot and this does shock me because I wouldn't have believed it before lol
And they're kind of making me feel angry about the green (alicent the most, because what are you doiiing? Not even on a book!alicent point, but from the same shows, she is always something different and it's humiliating really)
Idk, i try to take all with a light heart but... it's still able to make me quite mad
And sorry for all the typos and errors, I'm in a rush dhsjal
i mean it's a really disappointing season
i've said it before in my critiques, we can argue all day about characterisation (maybe some actually see aemond as an emotionless psycho, maybe some actually buy that alicent would sell out her own sons for rhaenyra), but there is little to no buildup for these HUGE changes and they don't even make sense in the context of the story. the greens are so, so emotionally flat and one-note melancholy with stunted dynamics. if they don't give a shit about each other, why and even HOW could the audience? where is the tragedy? ok, you want to make those changes from the books and create completely different versions of these characters: you have to make me believe it, man. you have to put in the work.
but these writers don't even understand the politics of the world they are inhabiting. they're not fixing any plot holes from the books, they're creating more. how the heck is house hightower JUST fine with having TWO members of their family dismissed in quick succession from the small council? who is financing this war? uncle hobert should be writing angry letters to aemond demanding appropriate reparations or else the hightower armies go back to oldtown. if they are not going to advance their own interests further as a house, why are they fighting this pointless war? tyland lannister should have given aemond some lip back for his attitude since house lannister has resources (i.e. armies, ships and gold) that aemond needs. these people have power! we've already seen the riverlords take no shit from daemon and he has a dragon too!
i've said this already to our dear @stannisfactions, so i'm gonna repeat myself here, but if alicent somehow became convinced that aemond was so off the rails he was going to get helaena killed................ there are ways around that that DON'T involve selling out your entire family to rhaenyra (certainly your male relatives, even the ones who didn't do a damn thing to you, like your brother, your uncle, your cousins, YOUR OTHER SON (THE NICE ONE), who are only following YOUR lead at the end of the day, because YOU put aegon on the throne and told them to mobilize forces and declare for him and now rhaenyra will see them all as traitors.
has everyone forgotten how to stage a castle coup? i know vhagar is big and scary, but she's parked way outside KL and aemond is just one man who was NOT shown to hustle for his own connections and personal network of friends. smack him in the damn head and throw his ass in jail!! tell everyone else the now-conscious KING aegon told you to! alicent was ruling queen for many years, it makes no sense for her not to have her own resources and courtiers who could help her do this.
can you imagine joffrey baratheon, surrounded by lannister guards loyal to and paid by tywin lannister, whose war is financed by the lannisters, dismissing tywin or cersei (or even tyrion) from his small council? are you laughing yet? why doesn't alicent have her own private army of hightower guards loyal to HER? unless you want (and need) her to be the stupidest person alive so that you can write your rhaenicent fanfic 🤌
they want to humiliate alicent so much to „punish” her for ~choosing the patriarchy~ instead of her bff rhaenyra and girl power. it's such an overdone storyline. other shows, books, media have done it to death, why is it in my dragon show, too? she can't have been a competent regent for viserys and not know how to do these things or not have acquired the resources to do them if necessary. how can she be both competent and incompetent when the plot requires it? it's giving wanting to still have the cake after eating it and throwing it into outer space
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russenoire · 5 months
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you know, if we're going to go after all flavors of fucked-up terumob for supposedly not being a tenable premise, or somehow 'missing the point'? one can easily argue the same for fluffy terumob.
given all the in-canon trauma standing between these boys, terumob as a concept is on some shaky-ass legs: teruki is projecting a fuckton of worship unhealthy idealism onto shigeo, and shigeo has every right to be wary of/angry about teruki's attempt to end him, for as long as it takes him.
they're still on family name terms at the end of the story, and teruki is still trying to get shigeo to spend more time with him. ONE leaves us with a long shot at anything between these two beyond casual friendship. (unless teruki is more forthright about what he wants? or shigeo realizes he can reciprocate?)
and the pair both have so much healing to do from the pain they've caused each other. whether they do so together or apart, it's gonna look ugly, perhaps for years.
i actually want to see that, too.
there's nothing wrong with sweet, tender wish fulfillment. there's also nothing wrong with examining how trauma can realistically play out in courtship or dating. and teenagers are not immune to toxic dynamics in relationships! if you truly believe this, i have a bridge i wanna sell you.
fluff does not mirror my experience of childhood in the slightest, but i'm not gonna shake my fists at its creators, and i'm not salty that it exists. it's beautiful. guess what? so is mogamiland terumob. so is codependent terumob. shame on all of you who felt it was OK to harass anyone for them.
people create AUs and draw and write for fun, and not everyone finds comfort or enjoyment in the same things. there should be room here for a wider range of emotional expressions. i mean, there sure is in the source material.
and there is already so much candy-coated marshmallow fluff in the #terumob tag. so much. i don't know about y'all, but i was happy to see some variety for once.
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silenzahra · 1 month
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They keep saving my life ✨
Dear friends, I've been missing today because I've been trying to recover from last night's experience! I went to watch my favorite band live again and I'm not exaggerating when I say they saved my life once more 🥹 It's just what I needed to feel entirely good again! My beloved Estopa never fail to make me feel better, them and the Mario Brothers are literally keeping me ALIVE these last years and I'm seriously so blessed 😭
I'm not gonna repeat everything I said here as the repertory was essentially the same, but I do want to add a video and some pics, and also a VERY silly conversation they had (as well as something related to my writing). So keep reading if you're curious, and it's totally fine if you're not! 🥰
Still, I believe perhaps @bberetd @vulpixfairy1985 @stripetkattelalala54-gf @itsavee4117 would like this! Of course, if you're not interested, just let me know and I'll remove your tag! 💖
THE FOREHEAD TOUCH AT THE END. THE WAY THE CROWD STARTS SCREAMING WHEN THEY DO IT. People do LOVE seeing them doing it, me included of course, and I can only melt and CRY 😭 (Yes, you can hear me singing and screaming, I recorded this video myself, so surprise! Voice reveal 😂)
And the line they were singing face to face right before bringing their foreheads together...
"And I'm still here by your side until the wind blows me away."
... I'm not crying, I just got some brotherly love in my eye 🥲🥲🥲
Also, a few minutes ago I just ran into this pic, a close-up of THE moment, and I DIED again 👇
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THEIR FACES. THEIR FOREHEADS. I CAN'T. These brothers are gonna be the DEATH of me I swear 😭😭😭
The fact that they're REAL. I just can't get over it. Mario and Luigi have a WONDERFUL bond and you all know I love them wholeheartedly, but the fact that Estopa are the real, actual personification of brotherly love? In our world?? Them having so much fun together and always showing how much they LOVE each other in every single concert???
Excuse me if I CRY but they're too PRECIOUS.
I just can't have enough of them. As you all know, they inspired me to write my musicians post, and also two of my WIPs that revolve around different things (the brothers on stage and Luaisy smut). They inspire me. They've been doing so ever since I became a fan of them, which, btw, happened exactly 18 years ago today! Man, I'm old 🥲
And the thing is... If you've been following me lately, you know I've been going through some hard times and I've been feeling down for a long time. So much so that I was unable to read... nor write. I'm still in the process of getting over my reader's block...
... but my writer's one might be coming to an end at last.
It's too soon to speak yet, but Estopa's music does inspire me, as well as their brotherly dynamic and their chemistry on stage. And yesterday, a few things happened that only gave me more and more ideas for that future story I wanna write with Mario and Luigi being musicians and performing together.
First of all, a very silly conversation:
"I am your brother." "Yes, me too." "... No." "Yes, I am your brother." "I am your brother, but you're my brother. I'm not my brother." "Of course, because I am your brother. You're my brother." "No, I'm not my brother, I'm your brother!"
I swear, me and my friend were just cracking up at the stupidest conversation EVER 😂 You can't tell me this isn't Mario and Luigi 🤭😂
Unfortunately... there were a couple of times where David almost fell off the stage 😅 The first time, I didn't even notice because I was further back, but I was a bit confused that he was standing still at one end of the stage when he's usually running and dancing here and there while singing.
And then... I saw this. Unfortunately it's an Instagram story which means it'll be gone at some point, but even though I've tried, Tumblr just wouldn't let me add a second video to this post 🤦‍♀️ So I just hope you can get to see it before it's gone, but it's basically poor David tripping and being about to fall off the stage 🥲
Poor man, I swear I feel SO BAD for him 😭😭😭 All I wanna do is run and help him through the screen! Thank God he handled it and didn't hurt himself but I swear I SCREAMED when I saw this 🥺
On a brighter note though... the second time was hilarious and he didn't hurt himself 🤭 To give you some context, it turns out there was a famous artist among the crowd watching the concert. His name is Dani Martín and he's friends with Estopa. They actually sang one of Estopa's songs together a while back, and when they started playing it last night, David suddenly noticed his friend...
... And he jumped off the stage to go sing with him! 😂😂😂
The moment his butt literally kisses the ground, I'm so DEAD I swear 😂😂😂 You just CAN'T convince me Mario wouldn't do something like this if he spotted, I don't know, Geno, maybe? 🤭
They're so friendly I swear! This was such a big surprise, and my friend was elated because she's also a big fan of Dani Martín! So it was really so great they did something like this 🥹 David jumping to bring him on stage and Jose ceding him his mic, they're just so nice and pure 😭
Anyways, as I said, the rest was very similar to the concert in Sevilla I attended back in June (only that this time I was WAY closer and I couldn't believe it 🤩), so I'll just add that I've been sharing some videos of the concert on my Instagram stories, and I'll probably share a few more tomorrow as I recorded a lot 🤭
Also, my friend sent me the videos she recorded and her phone has such a higher quality than mine! So yeah, those are coming to my insta stories tomorrow too 😂 Just in case you'd like to see said videos, here's my Instagram account! I'm saving them all on the higlighted stories called "Estopa Chiclana" btw, so they're gonna remain there no matter what 🥰
And to say goodbye, here's an AMAZING pic my friend took at the beginning of the concert and that has become my new lockscreen! 😁🔥
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It captures their essence SO WELL and it gives me so many ideas for Mario and Luigi! 🥹❤️💚
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hobiebrownismygod · 11 months
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Let's talk about Miles G./Prowler Miles and his characterization in fanfics/headcanons
I'm gonna refer to him as 42-Miles throughout this analysis btw
Fairly short post, about 1.1k words with pictures and gifs to help explain <3
Summary: I'm gonna analyze his characterization as being angry/aggressive, I'm gonna talk about his backstory a little bit and compare him to the original Prowler and then I'm gonna rant about his sexualization a little bit as well.
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1. Characterizing him as angry/aggressive
Most of the fanfictions/headcanons that I've read treat 42-Miles like a thug. They act like he would be overly aggressive toward the reader/y/n and often characterize him as slightly misogynistic and a bully. One question. HOW? I genuinely don't understand where people get these headcanons from. You're telling me that this guy, who is literally the exact same person as Miles Morales, would be a cheating, narcissistic asshole who needs to be fixed by some random girl? Are you kidding me? Do y'all think RIO MORALES would've allowed that to happen to her son? HELL NO.
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This hispanic lady?? BFFR
In the scene between Miles and 42-Rio, we see her asking him to get groceries, cracking jokes with him and just having an absolutely lovely mother-son dynamic. Its because of this that I think that he's actually a sweet, kind boy who's just trying his best to take care of his family. This little thing that he and his mom have going on proves that 42-Miles is not a bad kid. He's a genuinely nice guy who was thrown into a crappy situation.
As for his whole "You can call me the Prowler" persona, that's obviously just a setup. Miles did the same thing in the first movie when he met Peter B. Parker. He tied him up to a punching bag and put on a slightly deeper voice to confront him. 42-Miles did the exact same thing. He tied up Miles to a punching bag and did his best to intimidate him with the claw and the voice. He's just trying to look cool in front of his twin, guys. He's not that way normally. If anything, he's just gonna be a slightly more depressed version of Miles, but he's still Miles.
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Its practically the same scene.
This type of characterization happens a lot towards edgy black males in the media. The same thing happens with Hobie Brown. He's portrayed as cool, a rule-breaker and a punk and immediately, people characterize him as dirty and violent which are nasty stereotypes targeted towards African-Americans. 42-Miles is portrayed as intimidating and edgy and immediately people are quick to say that he would be an asshole and that he would be a bad boy which are also horrible stereotypes. This is blatant racism and its not cute or fun to read. If you want him to be aggressive in your fanfictions, give him an actual reason to be aggressive. Don't just assume that he would be, because if you really think about it, he wouldn't.
2. Calling him a murderer (The original prowler didn't kill people)
A lot of the fanfictions/headcanons that I've read that involved 42-Miles treat him like a murderer and romanticize the idea of him being a criminal. Authors write stories about him violently murdering thugs and beating people up for no reason. Any f.f. involving his identity as the Prowler usually has a killing scene written in or an implied murder scene.
It has been confirmed that 42-Miles is gonna be an anti-hero. Now the Aaron Davis version of the Prowler did kill people. However, he wasn't an anti-hero. If we're going to compare 42-Miles to a Prowler, we need to compare him to Hobie Brown, who was the original Prowler.
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Hobie Brown was also an anti-hero who actually helped Spider-man multiple times throughout the comics. He never killed anyone and after trying to lead a life of crime, he actually ended up quitting. This suggests that 42-Miles would be similar if not the same, because its confirmed that he's fighting against the Sinister Six, and isn't a "villain" and therefore would not kill anyone.
He's also 15 years old. Why are people acting like a 15 year old would be a murderer? There is no way this 15 year old kid is going out into the streets and beating up thugs. This guy was supposed to be Spider-man, remember? He fights for justice and he fights against real villains, like Doc Ock, Scorpio, Rhino, all villains who are confirmed to exist in Earth-42.
This headcanon is extremely inaccurate and people really need to chill out on the whole "Prowler" aspect of his character, because he's still Miles. He isn't a whole new character. He's literally Miles Morales in a different font, and he's not gonna be a murderous maniac.
3. Sexualizing him (he's a minor!?!?!)
I'd say about 70-80% of the 42-Miles fanfictions that cross my feed contain smut. People age up Miles, not for the plot, not for the headcanons, but just to write smut.
Personally, when I read a fan fiction or a headcanon about a character, I imagine them in my head when I do. I genuinely read the fan fiction like it would be played out with the character. So to me, people who are writing these smutty fan fictions are imagining a minor in their head while doing these things. This is absolutely insane to me.
Now I know a lot of people are gonna come for me for saying this because "if you don't wanna read it then just scroll" and "he's aged up so its okay" but this is normalizing pedophilia.
Once again, I see the same thing happening with Hobie. Why? Once again, casual racism. People see an edgy black male and they immediately assume he'd be super sexual. The people writing smut about Miles are the same way. They see an attractive black teen and the first thing that pops up in their mind is "I'd let him fuck me." He's 15 years old. No one should be writing smut about this kid. He doesn't do anything sexual in the movie, he doesn't have a confirmed love interest, he was literally on screen for two minutes. Stop treating black characters like sex toys and enjoy their damn storylines.
I explained more on the sexualization of black characters in the media in this post here if you want to read more into it or still feel a little unsure about my analyzation. I included sources as well <3
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This guy is a tired CHILD. LOOK AT HIS EYE BAGS
As for the whole "aging up" thing, aging up a character for a fan fiction and aging them up for smut are two very different things. I've read 42-Miles fanfictions where they age him up, but they actually add to the plot. This one fanfiction I read (I'll link it if I find it) aged him up to create a officer x criminal trope, which I found absolutely adorable. They were able to write an amazing story with zero smut. Compare this to people who are saying "I'm aging him up to 18 <3" and its just 4000 words of straight, gut-wrenching smut.
This genuinely disgusts me. I don't know if its just me who feels this way about his sexualization, but its so icky to think about. You're taking a literal child and imagining yourself doing all these things with him and posting it for the rest of the world to see. A lot of the people who write these fanfictions are 18+ which baffles me as well.
Stop sexualizing minors and stop aging up characters just for smut. It's messed up.
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eldstunga · 1 year
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Hi! I really love your art! The lines are so bold but the colours so natural that it feels distinct but grounded?? I'm obsessed with the shapes in your work
I was wondering if you had any advice for drawing bodies? Whenever I try it either my proportions are off or an arm ends up looking like a calf or something.
First of all, thank you <3 That's so nice and I think "lines bold, colours natural" is some truly aspirational words to say about my art, I'll strive to be what you say I am <3 I do not, unfortunately, have any great tips on drawing bodies - it's a very wide topic and fundamentally just really bloody hard. I fail horribly 9 times out of 10. How to approach it I think varies a lot with like...HOW you are struggling, and who you are as a person. For proportions and anatomy there are definitely books to look at, and some rules of thumb that can help you - anything from "the shoulders are about 2.5-3 heads wide" through "feet are the same length as the forearm", "elbows are in line with the navel and the navel is two sternums down" etc etc. For me, realising just how big the ribcage actually is and learning how to use that as a unit of measure was a big event (the torso is about two ribcages long). Look at references, Draw over low opacity references and try to look for patterns that help YOU. Like... "Hm, do the shoulders line up with something useful?"
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Having a good ref model to double check things helps too. The pen is pointing to about the bottom of the ribcage. But there's also stuff like maybe you're getting too hung up on construction and then it might help more to try to draw from references by ONLY blocking in a silhouette first. This helps me sometimes still:
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Or you could be like me, struggle with all of the above and then some - like how to make poses look natural and/or dynamic? Weight distribution is a whole other topic.. gah, it never ends, but it's fun to learn.
Lastly, this took me way too long to realise and I think it should be said: Do not fret too much about STUDYING. The unfair thing is that the better you are at something, the better you will be at actually learning from doing studies and exercises or reading books. We accept this with many other disciplines and sports but rarely art. Mileage is king, and mileage is best gained from having fun and enjoying what you do. If you find studies suffering and frustrating you're probably better off just drawing what you enjoy and fuck it if it isn't "pushing your boundaries" or whatever. Eventually you'll get to the point where studies start to give more than they take, and then you're home free. I'm not gonna recommend a billion resources you likely won't enjoy but here are some things I genuinely found helpful lately: * a physical anatomy model, they're pricy and not necessary but being able to just look at it every now and then, turn it over etc helps. * The "Morpho" series of books, they do not teach anatomy, but they are very useful quick reference books and much more easily digested than most anatomy material. Just try to find a real anatomy book to read once your appetite is up as well.
The zig-zag/Lightning bolt method for arms and legs, fuckin' thing revolutionised how I sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCkmB030GpQ
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Gottfried Bammes "The Complete guide to Anatomy for Artists and Illustrators" This thing is insane, it's from the 50's and like 600 pages long. You could absolutely kill someone with it, but a lot of the pages are more philosophical or art history you can skip and despite its age and fear factor this dude writes in a witty, clever and just wonderful way that I've seen nowhere else. Fantastic photos. By far, FAR the best anatomy book I've ever seen. It's not a book I'd recommend for someone starting out, I would not have been able to digest it like four years ago, but once you get to a certain point it's amazing.
That's a lot, uhhh, feel free to ask me for more specific tips this was a bit of a rant. Hope some of it was useful!
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