#IM WHEEZING WHY DID THEY DO HIM LIKE THAT

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 16

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

Hello! Another day, another chapter!

I really don't have much to ramble about today, but I am back on my tea. This is a new one from the ren faire this year- vanilla chai with sugar and milk. The cup is from the same ren faire (but purchased last year).

let's go let's let's go- I am already impatient to get into this chapter.

Last chapter we ended on a cliffhanger with Luo Binghe totally unconscious- we start this chapter with Shen QIngqiu ready to rescue his man and escape!

It's really so upsetting that he is going back to trash (two bar) spiritually energy in this body when he was so used to his mushroom Unlimited Power p65

RIP Luo Binghe's skull LOL he is really being tossed around like a rag doll. SQQ needs to be more careful. p66

MXTX said forget the only one bed trope, I raise you -> There Was Only One Coffin p67

Fuck. This is actually so scary 10/10 I would pee myself if a little skeletal arm was worming it's way into the coffin I was temporarily occupying (really anything in this book's reality would make me die of fright. as an aside I was talking to my partner about this while watching MDZS donghua yesterday, in the world of cultivators I would be a dumpling stall owner. I could never with the sword training and literal corpses). pp67-68

I CANT 'extenuating circumstances'. SQQ definitely: I just HAD to kiss his cute little forehead to save our lives. p68

i'm crying LOL "a person's abdomen is supposed to be the softest spot on their body, but Luo Binghe's was uncomfortably hard against Shen Qingqiu's stomach. The farther down he pulled him, the more he was sure that Luo Binghe had an eight-pack. Was that a rock slab down there?" p70

this keeps getting worse LMAO

OOOOO Meng Mo is back! Is it weird that I kind of love this guy? He has such a cool power and is a bit of a dick, but in the best and worst of ways. Him and Airplane give similar energy and I am not mad about it. p72

oh gosh! LBH is either "fatally ill" or "close to death" p72

wait- adding to the above point. he could also be mentally very unwell :( poor buddy -> it's likely this option. p72

so even though SQQ is processing nothing , I think SQQ admitting (not naming the feeling but admitting) that he is feeling a mess of emotions about Luo Binghe is a big step for him! p73

Meng Mo seems to have a lot of feelings about LBH. I am not sure if it's just pride or what but whatever it is he is correct here, "The way this elder sees it, he (LBH) should either kill you (SQQ) or do you!" p74

PLEASE OH NO

I AM WHEEZING

+1000 Protagonist Satisfaction Points for touching LBH's "Heavenly Pillar" p76

IM DYING OH NO

WHY IS THIS EVEN A THOUGHT IF HE THINKS HE'S STRAIGHT "He couldn't exactly help Luo Binghe jerk off under these circumstances, right?!" p76 But like if not these circumstances he is cool with doing it in other circumstances???????????

oh no! SQQ blocking the blades with his bare hand for LBH p79

Dang. the Old Palace Master has been through some shit. p80

Are we getting more of Shen jiu's story??? We have Qiu Haitang here too! p81 (just as an aside because my notes did not revisit this, we do not get more of his story just weird little hints. That I hope Shang Qinghua clears up later). p81

What a terrible combo. Old Palace master is just butthurt Luo Binghe doesn't want him as a teacher or to marry his daughter and Qiu Haitang seems to be just a vile woman with a grudge against SQQ for some reason. pp82-83

Okay but as horrible as OPM is, that cultivation he's doing with his voice is kind of cool. p85

Wait. Did the Old Palace Master have a thing for Su Xiyan? This is so fucking weird for LBH and he's not even conscious pp86-87

reading further the above point got so much worse omg :(((((((((((( I'm so upset for Su Xiyun. p87

It got even worse with the implications of what it meant for Luo Binghe in that sect. That terrible terrible man deserved that horrifying death. Fuck that guy! pp 89-90

OMG SQQ, basically half dead carrying LBH, barely got away from the death flower room, and here we have Tianglang-jun back on his bullshit. p94

SQQ is in such a bad state :o pp94-95

Is this another dime??? Our demon blood piggy bank for SQQ is now at $0.40 p97

YAY! Luo Binghe is awake! (is he going to be okay mentally though??)p 99

Why is Luo Binghe so mad? Like this man just nearly died trying to get you the fuck out of there p100

Fucking finally okay, it got better LBH is realizing what SQQ did while he was unconscious pp102-103

I'm glad they cleared that up (even though there was the other added miscommunication about LBH thinking SQQ was crying when he was actually just in a fuck ton of pain). p104

I am actually so glad that the discussion was interrupted before LBH found out about the dick touching being real LOL p108

MORE DEMON BLOOD. -> SQQ's dime bank is at $0.50

How many times does this man get kidnapped?

We really ended with him being kidnapped again and with Luo Binghe being conned by his own dad. That was so rough. -500 dignity points (not really but it sure feels like it)

[rafeandonlyrafe]

borrowed clothes

words: 800

warnings: 18+ only, smut, female receiving oral, unprotected p in v sex, mentions of male masturbation, friends to lovers

“rafe, can i borrow your panthers jersey?” you ask, walking into his closet without even waiting for permission.

“you know, you always steal my clothes and never give me any of yours in return.” rafe points out, following you in to the walk in, seeing you already looking through his shirts, trying to find the nfl jersey.

“its sports night, rafe.” you roll your eyes. your favorite bar does themed nights that allow discounted drinks if you come in theme. “you have a million sports things to wear, and i have none.” you remind your best friend.

“all im saying is its unfair.” rafe smiles at you as you find the jersey you were thinking of, knowing his closet better than he does. it’s just a part of being friends for your entire life, best friends.

“okay, here.” you tug your black tshirt off, having planned to wear it underneath rafes jersey, but you can deal with just your bra. rafe looks away from your chest, despite having seen you in just your underwear or swimsuit a million times.

you toss the material at him before tugging the oversized jersey over your head, tucking the front into your tiny miniskirt. “how do i look?” you ask rafe, who is now holding your discarded tshirt in his hand.

rafe nods. “good.” its all he can force himself to say. better than sexy, hot, so good that he wants to bend you over right in the closet and shove that little skirt up and bury his cock in your-

“great!” you smile. “now we gotta find something sporty for you.” you hum, turning back to his closet.

--

“rafey?” you call, entering tanneyhill without knocking. you haven’t asked permission to enter since you were a child, with rafes house being your second home.

“he’s in the shower.” wheezie calls out from the living room.

“thanks wheez!” you ruffle her hair as you walk past, teasing her like she was your own little sister.

you head up to rafes room, flopping onto the bed as you pull your phone out, waiting for rafe to finish up in the shower, hoping he won’t take too long.

you scroll through tiktok, letting out a yawn with a big stretch, readjusting and sliding your hand under rafes pillow. you frown when realize your fingers graze over a weird material, feeling oddly stiff and not something that belongs on rafes bed.

you sit up, moving the pillow to reveal your black tshirt, now covered in white stains. you frown and move it closer to inspect the fabric, eyes widening when you realize what you are holding in your hands.

your mind moves at a thousand miles a minute, realizing that rafe has been jacking off into your shirt. the implications are clear, the one piece of clothing item that he has of yours, and he uses it to get himself off?

you toss the piece of fabric back down, slamming the pillow back on top of it right as rafe opens the bathroom door, towel wrapped around his waist.

“i-i can explain.”

--

“f-fuck!” you shout out, rafes head buried in your cunt, tongue lapping over your pussy, finally tasting you like he's long awaited to. “why did it take us so long to do this?”

rafe just smiles against your cunt, glad that he didn't need to give a real explanation as you hopped off the bed and kissed him, realizing that your feelings echoed his after seeing your tshirt, suddenly feeling just as pent up.

“should have just fucked me instead of cumming all over my shirt.” you whine as his tongue flicks over your clit.

“ill buy you a new one.” rafe sucks your clit into his mouth, determined to make you cum. you let out a cry, your high building.

a shiver spreads throughout your body as rafes mouth brings you to orgasm, a scream being forced out of your body, not caring that there are other people in the house that could hear.

“fuck, you taste so good baby.” rafe moans into your cunt, tongue swiping out again until you gently push his head away, not able to take anymore on your sensitive clit.

rafe rises up, draping himself over your body. he gives you a deep kiss, your arms wrapping around his shoulders.

“i can't believe you were jacking off into my shirt thinking of me.” you giggle. 

“oh god, you're never gonna let me forget that, are you?” rafe groans, moving lower to rub his cock between your folds, soaking it in your wetness.

you laugh before it's cut off by rafes lips.

“can i fuck you y/n?” rafe asks, lining himself up with your entrance.

“yeah.” you nod. “yeah, need you.”

“last chance to rethink this. because once i enter you, we can't just be friends anymore.”

“i know, i know.” you peck a kiss to rafes lips. “hurry up and fuck me already.”

rafe smiles down at you as he slowly presses forward, your walls giving way to his thick cock.

“i love you.” rafe admits with a gasp.

“i love you too.”

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @emma77645 @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart

[atlabeth]

take my breath away

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary: you help spencer train for his fitness exam. he kind of just wants to kiss you.

a/n: some fluff (and something short) after i broke my own heart (and my brain) in my last hotch fic! i’m truly in my criminal minds era. enjoy

wc: 1.3k

warning(s): reader is a runner so im sorry to my unathletic friends. but this is all fluff

“Spence,” you said, unable to bite back your smile, “how are you this bad at running?” 

“I’m—” he held up a finger as he caught his breath and shook his head. “I’m not bad at running. My form… is perfect.” 

“We barely made it a mile in,” you said, and you chuckled as he keeled over, his hands on his knees. “It can’t be that perfect.” 

“It is,” he insisted, on the edge of wheezing. “I’m just unathletic.” 

“You never did sports as a kid?” 

“I graduated high school at twelve,” Spencer breathed. “I was too busy studying. Reading. Doing anything other than sports.” He looked at you and shook his head. “And I’m not crazy like you.” 

Your smile only grew. “You should put your hands over your head. It helps get more air in.” 

“That’s actually a rumor.” He shook his head again. “When you raise your arms, muscles that contribute… to the bucket handle movement of your ribs—” He heaved a sigh, his brows furrowing, and again, you held back a smile. You were sure this was one of his only weaknesses. “—they’re not able to function properly.” 

“Alright, genius,” you said, mockingly but with love. “Recover however you like. You clearly need it.” 

Spencer pouted as he straightened up, his whole face contorted in discomfort. When your boyfriend asked you to help him train for his upcoming fitness test, you didn’t think much of it—you got a full ride through college because of track, and you keep healthy with morning runs, so you were happy to help. 

You’d thought about straight up offering a myriad of times—mostly after bearing witness to his attempts at running in the field. One time, the two of you were paired up to do some interviews, and it ended in a chase. By the time Spencer caught up, nearly dying on the sidewalk, you already had the unsub subdued and cuffed. 

(It took him a while to live that down with Morgan.)

Spencer was gifted at other things, sure—not just everyone is a classified genius with an eidetic memory, and he’s the youngest recruit in history—and you loved him more than anything. But you couldn’t not make fun of him, just a little bit. 

His face was still red, his glasses fogging up a bit from the humidity, and his hair was a mess, so you moved closer in order to brush the stray strands out of his face. 

“Running isn’t my thing,” he said. “Well— fitness isn’t my thing. I’ve got everything else covered.” 

“Oh yeah?” You started smoothing back the strands of his hair, and you offered a crooked smile. “Then why are we out here trying to improve your mile time?” 

“Because it would be nice if Gideon doesn’t have to get all my fitness stuff waived again, and if I want that, I need the help.” His eyes didn’t leave yours, and once you finished, your hands lingered on his cheeks. You nudged his glasses back up to their spot. “And I think I’d run a marathon and die trying if it meant I got to spend more time with you.” 

Your eyebrows rose. “If you want to run a marathon, I could probably get you there. It would take a lot of time together, though.” 

“Please, no,” Spencer breathed. “Just the time together part.” 

You grinned, and you patted him on the cheek before you pulled away. “Running is good for the soul. Why do you think I’m so happy all the time?” 

“Well, this morning you said you were happy because of me,” he said. “Yesterday, it was because we had our first case-free weekend in two months. The other day—” 

“That coffee I had?” you interrupted. 

He nodded. “How’d you know?” 

“Because you made it for me,” you said, “and I love it when you do that.” 

Spencer shrugged. “You do it all the time for me. It’s only fair.” 

“But that’s proof,” you said. “Running does make you happy.” 

“Running does release endorphins, but anyone who likes it is crazy,” he repeated. 

“That doesn’t sound scientifically backed.” 

“The way I feel right now beats science,” Spencer huffed. “And you’re not happy all the time. You frowned 23 times while writing up your last report.” 

You raised your eyebrows. “You were watching me? And counting?” 

He shrugged. “You’re nice to watch.” 

“Very smooth, Dr. Reid,” you said cloyingly. “But flattery won’t get you out of this.” 

“I’m not trying to get out of anything!” he defended. You stared at him, and he held up his hands. “Okay— only halfway. But you are nice to watch. That’s why I’m still here.”

“If you’re watching me while we run, that might be why you’re doing so badly,” you said, amused. 

“No—I think it’s the only thing keeping me going.”

“You don’t really look like you’re still going,” you said wryly. “You should be good at this. You’ve got long legs.” 

Spencer shook his head as he screwed his eyes shut. He let out one last breathy sigh, and you hoped he’d finally recovered. “Also largely a rumor. It’s more about leg strength compared to bodyweight—long legs help with lengthy strides, but you need to generate enough torque to move faster than with shorter legs.” 

You smiled. “You’ve still got facts? Even while you’re dying?” 

“Mostly because Elle’s said it before too. She says I look like a baby giraffe learning how to walk when I run.” Spencer shook his head again. “I think the only thing my height is good for is getting things off of shelves.” 

For once, you tried to reign in your joking. “Is there anything I can do to help? I don’t want this whole thing to be miserable for you. Running should be fun.” 

“We can stop doing this?” he suggested. “I can let go of what’s left of my pride, get all my fitness stuff waived again, and go back to figuring out cases in an air conditioned conference room?” 

You smiled, and you moved closer. “How about this?” 

Spencer opened his mouth to say something, but you pulled him in for a kiss by the front of his shirt, effectively cutting him off. He hesitated for less than a split second, but his hands fell to your waist as he brought you in closer. 

When you let go and moved away, he still had them there, and he was smiling like an idiot. 

“Does that help?” you asked innocently, tilting your head. 

“Yeah,” Spencer said, nodding rapidly. “Uh— yeah. I actually think I could go for another mile now.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh as you ruffled his hair, messing up your earlier work. “I’d love to test that, pretty boy, but I don’t think you can make it another mile.” 

Spencer shook his head. “If you keep kissing me like that, I think I can make it through that marathon you mentioned.”  

“Sure I don’t take your breath away too badly?” you teased. 

“I have some facts for that, but I don’t think they apply.” His lips curved up, and the redness from exertion mixed with his steadily rising blush. “Because you, uh— you did take my breath away the first time I saw you.” 

“I should start calling you loverboy with material like that,” you mused. “Morgan’s annoyed that I took pretty boy from him.” 

Spencer grimaced. “Just thinking of Morgan seeing me like this makes me want to get back at it. I can’t deal with any more of his teasing.” 

“But my teasing’s okay?” 

He frowned. “Of course. It— it’s kind of why I fell for you.” 

“Ah,” you nodded. “That’s why you’re still at this. You don’t like things being handed to you.” 

His cheeks darkened again, and you laughed as you leaned in to peck him on the lips one more time. 

“Alright, loverboy,” you said. “Ready to get back at it?” 

“No,” he said affirmatively. “But I don’t really have a choice, do I?” 

“Not if you want to pass,” you said wryly, and you gestured back at the trail with your head. “But you know what they say—one step at a time.” 

Spencer grumbled, and he shook his arms out again. “Fine. As long as those steps are with you.” 

You smiled. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” 

[vivwritesfics]

Land Snake

Oscar gets a pet fic!! I love me ferrets (ps, ik ferrets are social and should be housed in pairs/fics. But for the sake of the fic Noodle is an only child)

Formula One Masterlist

noodle_piastri

liked by oscarpiastri, and 192,394 others

noodle_piastri dad said we have to go to the beach like true australians

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landonorris noodle isn't even from australia, is he?

oscarpiastri he's an honorary aussie

username1 omg noodle piastri

username2 i love Oscars son

username3 pls pls pls take noodle to a grand prix

aussiegrit how did my favourite grandson like the beach?

y/nl/n he loved it, almost couldn't get him to leave

noodle_piastri

liked by landonorris, and 173,942 others

noodle_piastri Suzuka baaaby

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username4 OMG NOODLE IS AT A GRAND PRIX?

username5 my headcanon is that noodle and moon are best friends

username6 noodle and moon meet up when?

oscarpiastri think he might be my lucky charm

y/nl/n ... what am i, chopped liver?

oscarpiastri *lucky charms

landonorris noodle can come to every grand prix if it means I end up on the podium

oscarpiastri get your own lucky son

noodle_piastri

liked by aussiegrit, and 203,192

noodle_piastri great uncle nando called me stinky

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username7 UNCLE NANDO IM WHEEZING

username8 i love how the grid have formed a little family with the pets

landonorris GREAT UNCLE NANDO CALLED YOU WHAT?

landonorris slander on my nephew

oscarpiastri nobody talks to my son like that

noodle_piastri

liked by y/nl/n, and 362,192 others

noodle_piastri this is why dad never wears a sweater, bc i hide away in them - he only ever wears shorts for a similar reason

view all comments

username9 what do i have to do right in life to have a noodle of my own

oscarpiastri stop exposing my secrets

y/nl/n let our son do what he wants

username10 their son omg

logansargeant bring him to miami

y/nl/n moon noodle meet up? logansargeant moon noodle combat oscarpiastri my son is gonna whoop your sons ass y/nl/n moon hurts on hair on his precious head I'm holding you personally responsible oscarpiastri we will fight you

noodle_piastri

liked by logansargeant, and 301,823 others

noodle_piastri mclaren petition to let me join dad on his ice baths

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mclaren omg noodle you're always welcome in our ice baths

oscarpiastri have you considered that I don't want an ice bath with you?

noodle_piastri impossible

y/nl/n your opinion is invalid

username11 where do we sign the petition?

username12 the money i'd pay to see this

[azaarchiive]

fanfic bakugou vs real size

sypnosis; katsuki finds you reading a fanfic about him

notes; suggestive, gn reader, fluff with katsukiii, long term established relationship, bakugo is a little ooc. 733 words

inspired by: @officialabortive (i tried to find the drabble but i couldn’t find it! anyways go show them some loveee)

‘katsuki’s muscular arms trapped you in between him and the kitchen island, his hot breath caressing your neck before you felt him speak.

“do you know why i call myself dynamite?” he whispered seductively.

“why?” you meekly responded, slowly turning to face him.

he leans closer to your ears before whispering,

“because i blow my load in bitches like you.” ’

soon, a loud laugh could be heard behind you, ripping you from your very steamy fantasy. only for you to realise the man himself was behind you, laughing his ass off.

“suki, w-what the fuck?! you scared me!” you stumbled over your words, shame spreading across your whole body.

“i can’t fucking believe i walked in on my partner reading this shit! oh fuck, i’m getting abs!” katsuki continued to cackle while you covered your face in embarrassment. this was the worst way to get caught.

“i was just interested! i was online and i saw that this was apparently the dynamite fanfic that everyone was raging over!” you attempted to defend yourself, but your excuses fell onto deaf ears and the sound of his obnoxious laughter getting louder to drown you out.

“i just can’t believe this, baby, you have the real thing right here!” katsuki climbed onto the couch with you, leaning his arm on the top of the couch while resting his chin on his fist.

“i know that, like i said, i was just interested!” you huffed.

“that line was insane though, maybe ill steal it next time. would you be into that? me ‘blowing my load’ into you?” katsuki smiled, trying to hide your laughter.

but your shy smile as you looked away just broke any restraint he had, and thus, he was bursting out laughing again.

“oh my god, you liked it, didn’t you?” katsuki accused.

“no i didn’t!” you whined, playfully pushing katsuki who barely even moved an inch.

“yes you did, look at how flustered your getting!” katsuki pointed at your face.

“oh come off it!” you slapped his finger away, picking up your phone again and turning away to have him face your back.

“going off to read more?” katsuki teased.

you stayed silent, sighing playfully as katsuki (unbeknownst to you) widened his mouth in shock.

“listen… the writing is really good!” you defended yourself whilst laughing.

“it was probably written by a 14 year old girl!” he exclaimed back to you.

“no actually, the writer here just turned 20.” you huffed.

“im still in shock, you have the katsuki bakugou in front of you, wiling to do whatever you want, yet you chose him. the guy with cheesy lines!” katsuki complained.

“don’t be jealous katsuki, it’s just that the storylines are so captivating. like, in one of them, you were a barista and i was a ceo- can i please explain the storyline properly without you laughing?” you paused while smiling as katsuki wheezed in front of you.

after a few second, he nodded, covering his mouth to contain whatever laughter he had left in him so you could continue.

“thank you, anyways, i was a ceo and you were the coffee barista and we fell in love over time since i kept coming back because the coffee you made was always really good. but then, your jealous ex, which was me actually, came and told me that you both were still dating and that you were just using me for my money. so then, i fell out of love for you, but then, 2 years later, you had graduated from UA and became a pro hero and saved me, so then we fell in love again and got married.” you explained.

“wait, they include you in these little stories?” katsuki asked.

“yep, im usually the jealous ex or the supportive best friend.” you replied.

“these people are so pathetic, you’re mine and always will be.” katsuki said, lunging at you, trapping you in a bear hug.

you screamed in laughter as he trapped you in his lethal hugs, the scent of his cologne wafting in your nose.

“you’re right, i’m your forever!” you giggled in his arms.

“exactly, don’t need no fanfic to tell you otherwise.” his voice was muffled as his face was in his neck.

god, you loved this man and no other fanfic version of him could ever capture how he was with you.

[cassiefromhell]

Lollipops

Post-War: Levi Ackerman x Reader

wc: 4.3k

warnings: SPOILERS. im so serious guys. SPOILERS. if you havent watched/read to the FINALE, do not progress. you've been warned. also theres a little tiny bit of gore.

a/n: this is self-defense writing to protect my sanity after the last ep. im so not okay with it being over. also requests are open, i'll write anything! also, this is written in flashbacks. but never fear, the flashbacks are separated from the present by dividers, so you'll know when it switches.

“You two are like a fairytale couple,” a young girl giggles, hugging a pink-covered book to her chest. “Like a damsel and her prince.” 

You smile, pulling a lollipop out of your box — and then another, handing them to her. “Take two for sweet-talking me. But remember that true love isn’t perfect by any means.”

She grins, nods, and takes her candy, sprinting off into an old woman’s arms. You sigh softly, looking up to see that the line of children coming to receive candy from Paridian heroes is momentarily empty.

“Not perfect, huh?” Levi asks from beside you, shifting in his chair.

You roll your eyes, gently flicking the side of his head. You crouch down to be on his level. “You’re saying that we had a fairytale romance? That you swept me off my feet and carried me away from danger?”

“Yes. I would. Now get your ass up, I don’t need you to get down for me,” he scowls, his eyes flicking over your kneeling form.

“I would get down on my knees for you anyti—”

“Up.”

You grin, but listen to him and stand up, picking up your box once more. “Fairytale, huh? So what are you, the savior?”

“I’d say it’s even. Although, I remember saving your ass much more often than you saved mine.”

You scoff, putting your hands on your hips. “Name a time!”

“Get your ass up, scout!”

You groan, shoving yourself up onto your elbows. “Just a sec,” you manage between heavy breaths, coughing and coughing.

Hoofbeats approach and you whimper, knowing that if that’s the captain you think it is, you’re about to get the beating of a lifetime.

“Why, exactly, are you laying in the dust?” Captain Levi Ackerman asks, tone cold and voice sharp as a knife. “You’re a transfer, not a cadet. From the MP’s, even. I expected better.”

“I’m recovering from an injury, Captain,” you wheeze out, pressing a hand to your side and shoving yourself up onto your knees. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

“You’d better be. Now, up. On your feet, or be left behind.”

You pull one foot under you, then the other, and nearly collapse. His arm shoots out to grab your bicep, effectively keeping you up as your side screams in protest, ribs aching and tears springing to your eyes.

“What kind of an injury?” he asks, his grip tightening. “Why on earth would you switch to the Survey Corps while injured?”

“Ribs,” you hiss, gripping your side. The doctors have said that nearly all your ribs on your right side are either bruised, fractured, or completely broken. “And I had no choice. I had to leave.”

He narrows his eyes, but slowly releases you, making sure you’re not going to fall over the second he lets go. “You’re in no condition to be training, and I don’t need you getting worse. I have no interest in crippled soldiers. Go inside and get yourself assigned to kitchen duty for the next two weeks, on Ackerman’s orders.”

Your eyes slowly shift up from the ground to him, and you get your first good look at him.

And holy shit, the rumors of Humanity’s Strongest did not mention how mouth-wateringly attractive he is.

You give the dumbest nod you’ve ever given and turn on your heel. You hobble your way inside, and then immediately lean against a cold, stone wall, repeating to yourself in your head over and over again:

We are not falling for a captain.

We are not falling for a captain.

You open and close your mouth, then shrug. “Okay, but of course you were going to save my ass a lot while I was training. I’m sure it got better once I was a captain.”

“Did it, though?”

You elbow him, scowling. A smirk dances on his lips.

A woman grinning ear-to-ear starts your way, and you narrow your eyes. “She’s too old for candy.”

“Reporter,” Levi grumbles, looking down into his box, as if not making eye contact will stop her from approaching.

“Hi!” She shouts, giving a big wave. “I was hoping to ask you two a quick few questions, while you’re not too busy.”

“We’re quite busy,” Levi drones.

“Ah! I had heard about that grumpy attitude!” The reporter laughs, then looks at you. “And you must be his sunshine!”

You scratch the back of your neck, shrugging. “Something like that.”

The reporter whips out a pen and paper. “Now, all sources say that tog two have been married for quite some time, but nothing ever tells me when you two met, or how! Do tell.”

“We met in the service,” you start, rubbing your chin. “I had just transferred to the military police, so I was starting fresh in the Survey Corps.”

She quirks a brow. “Why did you transfer?”

The air simply won’t come to your lungs. You can’t breathe. The night sky doesn’t help, the fresh cool air is only suffocating you more.

You drop to the grass in the courtyard, one hand on your healing side and the other around your throat. Tears pour down your face, and you cough, and cough, and cough, and gasp.

It was just a nightmare, you tell yourself, but it doesn’t help. You can still remember what really happened, his hand around your neck, boot in your side, the bruises along each ridge of your spine from being tossed into a wall.

Your ribs may have been almost fully healed now, after two months being a Scout, but you still can feel each kick he gave you just for telling him no.

“Breathe.”

You sputter, looking up to see Captain Levi kneeling in front of you. He grips your jaw, tilting your head up to look at him.

“Breathe, come on. Take a deep breath.”

You try, you really do, but you only end up sobbing harder. Your hands clench the grass.

He sighs heavily, scooting over to your side and awkwardly patting your back. “Breathe.”

You manage to slow your breathing, and take a few good deep breaths. Then you immediately stumble to your feet. “…Sorry. I’ll head back now.”

His hand is around your wrist before you can even register that he’s gotten up. “Why are you out here so late, crying in the damn courtyard?”

“It’s nothing. Just a bad dream, you murmur, tugging your hand away from him and heading back inside.

You feel assessing eyes on your back as you walk, and you can’t help but look down at your hand, that hand that you wore a ring on for a year and a half.

You’ve fallen silent, chewing your lip and looking off to the side. The reporter tilts her head, raising a brow. 

“She just needed a fresh start,” Levi answers for you, placing a hand on your hip for reassurance. “And that’s what she got.”

She accepts that answer, writing down the words. “Now, how did you two end up together? Was it live at first sight?”

Levi scoffs. “Far from it.”

You glare at him. “Well, I liked you.”

“No, you hated me. You just wanted to fuck.”

“Thank you, Hange,” you grin, folding up the card again and tucking it back into the envelope, which reads ‘Congrats, new Captain!’. “I really appreciate it.”

A year in the Survey Corps flew by fast, and you had shown immense skill in the craft, therefore earning the title of Captain of your very own squad.

But your skills weren’t the only thing that had developed. You and Levi tolerated each other now, even if he thought you were loud and chaotic and you thought he was grumpy and sad, like a lonely old man.

And yet, you were drawn to him. He was handsome, and every once in a while you’d say something that would make his mouth tilt up, and… that mouth. It would be the death of you.

Hange heads out, leaving you alone in your room for the first time in hours. Everybody had been in and out, offering congratulations and words of advice.

You sink back onto your bed, yawning. It’s been a long day, and now you just want to sleep—

But a knocking comes on your door, and in walks Levi.

“I could have been naked,” you grin as he strides over, dumping a pile of paperwork on your desk.

“Captains have more paperwork than everybody else. I’ve been assigned to show you how to fill it out.”

“I bet you were hoping I was naked” you tease, but get up anyway, running a hand down your face as you stand next to him.

“You’re insufferable.”

“You’re boring.”

“Boring? Really?”

“Yeah.”

There is a short silence, with Levi sorting through the papers. And suddenly, you are very aware of the fact that you are in your bedroom, alone, with Levi Ackerman.

And apparently he’s aware of it too, because he gives you a look.

And then you jump on him.

The reporter laughs and scratches a few things down on her pad of paper, her eyes crinkling around the edges. “And what year was this?”

“We met in 846, and then started seeing each other romantically in 847,” you explain. You open a lollipop and stick it in your mouth.

The reporter only stares at you, a brow lifted and eyes narrowed.

“Eleven years ago,” Levi says, and then she nods and writes it down.

“What—”

“Different years,” Levi murmurs, shaking his head. “They’re in the damn 1900’s, remember.”

You flush, blood rushing to your ears and cheeks. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with the rest of the world, you always forget that years are different and you can take a plane somewhere and getting a papercut doesn’t mean you might die of sepsis.

For you, it’s still 858.

“Did you two personally know Eren Jaeger?”

You crouch by the bars, tilting your head as you examine him. Just a child. Skinny. He couldn’t hurt a fly.

“This is the titan child?” You ask, squinting. “He’s, what, fifteen?”

“Yes. Please step back,” Levi says. “You don’t need to be that close.”

“He’s like a fleck of dirt in a crop field. I need to be this close to see him. Are you sure he really—“

The chains on his arms rattle, and you skitter back, slamming into the wall beside Levi.

“Careful,” he scowls, brushing dirt off of your shoulder.

“What… happened?” The boy asks, rubbing his eyes.

Erwin launches into a full explanation, and by the time he’s done the boy looks completely lost.

“You’re… the commander of the Survey Corps,” he looks at Erwin, “…And Captain Levi, and Captain {Y/N}… where am I?”

“A dungeon—”

Erwin keeps speaking, but a thump near the staircase catches your attention. You stride off, past the MP guards, and peek around the corner.

There, struggling against a guard, is the young girl that you’ve been told is Mikasa.

You scowl, shutting the door behind yourself and storming up to her.

“Calm down,” you whisper, taking both her wrists in one hand and pushing her up against a wall. “Do you realize what you’re risking here?” 

“You don’t understand, I need to see him—”

“Shut up. You’re risking his freedom by coming this close. Go back upstairs.”

She glares at you, damn near baring her teeth. But you hold firm, and she slowly nods.

“Good, now go.”

You release her, and with one final glance over her shoulder, she trudges up the stairs.

You run a hand through your hair,  thinking to yourself: these new scouts are going to be an issue, aren’t they?

“Yes,” you say, nodding. “We knew all of the kids.”

“All of them?” she asks, furiously scratching down your words.

“We were both captains when Eren’s year entered the corps — we trained them. Of course we knew them all.”

“On my squad,” you read off of your paper, speaking to the large crowd in front of you — all the scouts that will be on the next expedition. “…I am pulling in an extra scout. Mikasa Ackerman will join me in the center ranks.”

Whispers run through the crowd, and you step off of the stage, taking your spot next to Levi in the captains line. Erwin picks up a speech, talking about the squad formations.

A tap on your shoulder makes you turn, and your eyes widen as you’re met with your favorite chaos trio: Jean, Sasha, and Connie.

“Get into your formation,” you hiss.

“But, here’s the thing,” Jean whispers. “I’ve been really great during training. What do I have to do to get on your squad?”

“Jean!” you narrow your eyes. “You are not getting on my squad.”

“I would bring you food every day,” Sasha pleads, putting her hands out in a prayer position. “Please! We’d be the best squad ever.”

You actually pause to consider that for the food, but Levi stomps on your foot. “Ow— Uhm, no. Now return to formation or I’ll bump you down a squad.”

They skitter off, moving through the crowd. You just hope that they’ll go to the right place this time.

You sigh, facing forward again. You’ve already heard everything that Erwin has to say, so this is all repeat to you.

You brush your hand against Levi’s, and his pinky touches yours. You lock them together, resisting the urge to just lean into his warmth.

Pinkies locked, you wait out the rest of the assembly.

“Would you say you were close with any of them?”

Levi shrugs. “They respected me. They loved her.”

“Oh, they loved you too,” you grin, patting his shoulder. “Loved you enough for Historia to smack you the second she was legally allowed to.”

“Have there been any hardships?” The reporter cuts in.

You pause. Levi pauses.

“Of course,” he murmurs, voice softer now. He brushes his fingertips against your thigh.

As soon as you make it in through the gate, Levi is at your side, pulling his horse up next to yours.

“Let me look,” he murmurs, beckoning with his hand. 

You shake your head, cradling your messily bandaged hand to your chest. “No.”

“{Y/N}. Let me look,” his voice is more stern now.

You know the damage. You found a cloaked figure up high in the trees, you went for the attack, and they were faster than you. It was a clean cut. Your index and middle fingers are gone, as well as a chunk of your thumb.

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“I can’t take it off ‘till I reach the medics,” you whisper back, turning away from him. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

But he doesn’t leave. He stays by your side, silently. He rides with you all the way to the scout headquarters, silently. He walks with you to the medics, without a single word.

The medics take one look at you, and, having heard that you were coming in, usher you into a private room.

There are three medics with you, which means they consider your injury a serious one. 

The lead medic closes the door, and then turns to you with a pitiful smile. “Let’s take a look, alright captain?”

You cradle your hand closer to your chest. You feel like a child, not wanting to accept what’s happened. But it’s… your hand… this is forever. 

Levi gently touches your arm. “You don’t have to look.”

You can’t remember the last time Levi was so soft with you. You’ve been with him for years by now, but he’s just not a soft person.

Nevertheless, he pulls your face against his shoulder, stroking your hair. He carefully pulls your wrapped hand away from you, holding it out for the medics. 

You feel it immediately when they start pulling the bandages off, and you bury your face into Levi’s shirt, whimpering.

“You’re alright. They’ve almost got it off,” he murmurs, holding your face against his chest.

The wrapping falls away, and there’s a soft gasp from one of the medics, followed by Levi stiffening.

“Is it bad?” you moan, crying out as someone prods something painful.

“Do you want me to lie?”

“No.”

“It’s not good. But it’s a clean cut, so they’re going to clean it and stitch it up for you. You’ll be fine.”

You fist his shirt. “…Please don’t go.”

He pulls you a little closer. “I won’t. I won’t leave your side.”

The next thing you know, they’ve stuck your hand in alcohol, and you’re screaming.

You tuck your half-hand into your pocket, out of the reporter’s watchful gaze.

“But you two are married, correct?”

Levi nods. “Yes.”

“When were you married?”

You look to Levi, smiling softly. “Well, twice. Once in Paradis, and they don’t acknowledge Paridian marriage licenses here, so we did it all over again a couple years ago.”

“When was the first time?”

Your hand has become a focus for you.

Just as you lay in bed now, holding your two and a half fingers above your head. The stitches have been taken out, leaving you with pinky and ring fingers, two little nubs cut below the first knuckle, and half of a thumb. It’s still healing, but this is pretty much what your hand will look like. Forever. Till the day you finally croak.

The door swings open, and you immediately feel Levi’s cold, calculating gaze. “Are you picking at it again?”

“No,” you roll your eyes. “Just looking. Y’know, at least I still have a ring finger.”

“Why does that matter?” He asks. He takes off his jacket and hangs it up, then sits on the bed beside you and starts on his boots.

“So one day I could wear a wedding ring.”

He pauses. You pause, realizing what just came out of your mouth.

He turns to face you, leaving one boot on and the other half off. “You’re interested in marriage.”

Suddenly your face feels hot. “…Yeah.”

“To me?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s really what you want?”

You nod, chewing your lip.

“Then marry me.” His face stays completely blank.

You sit up slowly, eyes wide. “You— you wanna marry me?”

“You already know that I love you. If you want marriage, it’s only logical that—”

You cut him off by tackling him, sending the both of you tumbling off the bed. Levi twists so that he’ll hit the ground and you’re just land on him, but you have no time to ask if he’s okay between all the kisses you’re showering across his face.

He scoffs. “Enough, woman.”

“You wanna be stuck with me!? Really?!” You grin, sitting up to be straddling his waist. 

“I guess so.”

You throw your arms over your head, starting to sing to yourself. “You looooove me, you wanna maaaarry me, I’m gettin’ maaaarried,” you snap to your own little beat, dancing on his waist.

You look down at him, beaming, just to find him watching you with soft gray eyes.

“I love you,” he whispers.

The reporter smiles and nods, then looks over her notes. “Well, I just have one more question, and then I’ll leave you two be.”

Levi looks quite ready to be done, so you speak up. “Just make it quick.”

She nods, looking up at you one last time. “Did everyone else know you two were together?”

You sigh, reaching behind you and pulling your hair out of its ponytail. It’s been a long day, and all you want is to refill your ODM fuel for tomorrow and go to bed.

You approach the supply closet, but pause when you hear voices. You peer in, eyes widening at the sight.

Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Reiner, and Bertholdt all crowd around a table, coins in piles. But there are no cards. No game.

“Listen,” Connie says, throwing up his hands. “It’s just gotta be someone in the Survey Corps. There’s no way it’s not!”

“But wouldn’t we know if it was?” Jean adds, rubbing his chin. “There aren’t too many options.”

“Miche?” Mikasa proposes, spinning a coin in her fingers.

“What? No,” Eren scoffs. “Absolutely not. Armin, what do you think?”

Armin lets out a low whistle, shaking his head. “I already lost my money on the bet that Captain {Y/N} would stay single. I thought she was the type to not want or need a man.”

Ah. So they’re betting… on my love life!?

“Well, she’s wearing a ring, that’s for sure…” Sasha rubs her chin. “What if it’s Levi?”

There’s a beat of silence.

Everyone in the room erupts into laughter. 

“Ha! Her and Levi? When pigs fly!” Eren laughs, banging his fist on the table.

“You’re such an idiot,” Connie grins, shoving Sasha. “I’d say she’s a lesbian before that!”

You smirk and roll your eyes, walking away from the room. You just know that they’re gonna be knocked off their feet when they find out.

“No, no, it took them quite a while to find out,” you laugh, shaking your head. “They couldn’t have guessed it if they’d put all their little brains together — and believe me, they did.”

“So, how did they find out?”

“Alrighty, Armin,” you sigh, running a hand over your head. “Let’s get this transformation done. The area is cleared for miles, so just give me a few minutes to get out of dodge, and you’ll get the smoke signal to go ahead.”

He nods, chewing his lip. 

“Hey,” you pat his shoulder. “You’ve got this.”

With that done, you turn, shooting your grappling hooks into a tree and soaring off into the forest.

After a few minutes, you’re damn near in the safe zone.

Near.

And then the sky lights up like a Christmas tree.

As expected, a massive explosion sounds behind you, and your ears immediately start to ring. More concerning, however, is the shrapnel made of trees and dirt and rocks flying your way.

You shriek, turning forward once more and zipping your way through the trees. Except, you have to hold your left sword in a weird way because of your hand, and then a gush of wind hits you and—

The branch you’re swinging from snaps, and you’re sent tumbling to the ground, unable to right yourself. 

The grass gets nearer and nearer, and you fumble with your swords. But you won’t make it. You squeeze your eyes shut tight, and accept your fate—

Until you collide with Levi’s chest, and his arms are around you, and you’re zipping towards the safe zone.

“Holy shit,” you wheeze, coughing on stirred up dust. You grip his shoulders, shaking from all of the adrenaline rushing through you.

You’re back in the group with the others in no time, and Levi immediately puts you on the ground. But you don’t get a hug and a ‘thank god you’re alive.’ No, Levi puts his hands on your shoulders and shakes you.

“Are you crazy?” He hisses, gripping your jaw with one hand. “I’ve told you to hold your swords upside down like I do, so this wouldn’t happen. You almost died, and all because of your idiocy—”

“Levi—”

“No, I don’t want to hear it. You cannot go dying on me, you hear me? I will not lose you.”

You bite your lip, putting a hand on his chest. “Levi…”

“You are such a fucking idiot. I cannot believe I married someone who would risk her own life like that. You need to value yourself, damn it! You cannot leave me here alone—”

You shut him up with a kiss, rooting your hand in his hair. He kisses you back without hesitation, his hands flying to your waist.

“You’re not going to lose me,” you murmur, pulling away. “You saved me. You caught me. And I’m confident that you always will.”

His jaw clenches, a muscle feathering, and he opens his mouth, but a voice from the right interrupts whatever he had planned to say.

“Did I, uh… miss a chapter?” Jean asks.

You look over to find almost all of Eren’s friend group standing there, dumbfounded. Hange sits up in a tree, grinning ear to ear, but they’ve known about you two for years.

You grin, shaking your head. “The money goes to Sasha.”

“AND YOU ALL CALLED ME STUPID!” Sasha shrieks, throwing her hands up in the air.

“That’s all I need,” the reporter nods, and closes her notebook, tucking away her pen. “Nice meeting you two, heroes.”

She leaves with a wink, and just in time, because a little refugee boy has approached, hands behind his back.

You give him a soft smile, kneeling to be on his level. “Would you like a lollipop?”

The boy nods, giving a shy smile. 

Levi reaches into his box, holding out a blue lollipop. He gives the child his softest smile, and in that smile you see it all.

You see the man that saved your ass more times than you can count. The man who presses a kiss to your temple when he thinks you’ve fallen asleep. The man who blushes when you run your hands down his chest. The man who doesn’t give anyone that soft smile of his, except for on very rare occasions.

Your man.

The center of your universe.

The boy takes his lollipop, bows at the waist, and then skitters off with a  mumbled ‘thank you.’

You watch him go, and then you turn back, met with Levi, holding out a lollipop to you.

You press a kiss to his scarred knuckles and take it, giving him your own soft smile. “I love you.”

“Yeah, you too, brat,” he chuckles, turning back to the box of candy.

And you remember the nights you spent eating sweets he brought back for you from town.

You remember every night with him.

Because Levi is your world. Your one and only.

And he always will be, from now until the end of time.

@jeannineee be proud of me bitch <3

[sanjisblackasswife]

OP Men Reacting To You Saying a Dirty Pickup Line (NSFW)

Ft. Sanji, Law, Zoro, Ace, Shanks, Luffy

I may make a Part 2

Black Fem Reader in Mind

-

Sanji: “They Say Kissing is a Love Language…Want to Have a Conversation with Me?”

Cigarette drops quick af

His eyes grew wide and he nearly slapped his self trying to prevent any nose bleeds

Sanji stutters in his movements, should he—?

He didn’t want to have a blood fest and ruin this opportunity but he was taking too long to decide

Now you could just laugh and say just kidding but he actually looked too cute to pass up this chance so you pull him in between your legs on the counter and kiss him

Y’all had a very long and messy conversation

Law: “I Know I’m 5’10, But With You I’d Be at Least 6’5””

“How the hell would you be 6’5”—-“

Squints his eyes at you because clearly you’ve said a riddle and he just don’t get it yet

You sit at his desk just swinging your feet hoping he’d understand, but he just gives you an annoyed look because he can’t figure it out.

“Im talking about your cock—“

“Alright get out.”

Zoro: “The Tongue is The Strongest Muscle in The Body, Wanna Work it Out?”

This mf has no clue what a flirt or a joke is and looks at you like your crazy

“What am I ganna be Doing? Tongue curl ups?”

“I’m flirting you dipshit!”

“You’re fucking terrible at Doing so what the hell does that even mean?!—“

“IT MEANS IMMA KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU KEEP TALKING TO ME LIKE IM CRAZY!”

“YOURE THE ONE ASKING STUPID ASS QUESTIONS—!”

No pussy for Zoro for the next month

Ace “I Just Got Black Bed Sheets Want to Make Them White?”

“How will we—-OHOHOHOOOO!”

He is such a dumbass lmao

He has pink cheeks but he is a giggling mess all day

He ends up repeating the pickup line while you both are alone and damn near has a wheezing fit

“CAN YOU NOT!”

Never again.

Shanks: “Please don’t let this go to your head, but do you want some?”

Well aren’t you adorable..

He chuckles in his drink and sets it down, pulling you close so your ear is by his mouth he whispers

“Remember how you said I should start wearing more jewelry? Well, I’m curious on what would look nicer; your necklace above my face or your anklet on top of my shoulders?”

You in fact did figure out both looked good on him that night

Luffy: “The Only Meat I Want in My Mouth is Yours.”

“I just finished my meat Y/N and I just asked you if you wanted some and you said NO!”

“I—“

Why would you even try to give this man a pickup line it’s already hard enough to date this man

“NOT THAT MEAT YOUR MEAT!”

“I JUST ATE THE MEAT!”

“NO!”

You point at his crotch and he just looks down and then back at you in confusion

“There’s no meat there Y/—“

“NEVERMIND LUFFY!”

[hobiebrownismygod]

Hobie brown x mute reader?

AHHHH WHAT THE FREAK THIS IS SO CUTE I CANT ANYMORE WHY IS IT SO PERFECT 😭😭😭 IM GONNA SOB

my new favorite Hobie Brown dynamic thank you for this image and thank you for requesting <3

I made this fem reader because that's easier for me to write btw!!

________________

Hobie Brown of Earth-138, was currently on the run.

Well...sort of on the run.

As he stumbled around a corner and raced down Main Street, with a small group of cops chasing him, he began to realize that spray-painting in broad daylight may not have been the best idea he'd ever had.

He ran through the door of a bakery, quickly greeting the cashier before jumping through their back door into a darker alleyway.

"GET BACK HERE YA PUNK!"

He just laughed as he kept running throwing spray cans behind him to throw the pigs off his trail. He was so focused on the people behind him that he didn't even realize that there might be someone in front of him.

BAM

He slammed into someone, sending both of them toppling to the ground. He groaned stumbling to get back up, looking down in horror when he realized he'd nearly killed a girl. He roughly pushed his elbows into the floor to push himself up, but when his eyes met yours his mind suddenly went blank.

You clutched the back of your head in pain, wincing silently as you looked up at him, wide-eyed in confusion.

"Oi!" Hobie was broken out of his trance by the voices of officers behind him and he immediately scrambled around the corner, grabbing your arm to pull you with him as he hid behind a dumpster.

He covered your mouth with his hand to make sure you stayed quiet as he peered from behind the trash can, eyes scanning over the officers who walked in the other direction, fuming.

He sighed, pulling his head back to catch his breath for a moment before looking at you, a slightly apologetic grin on his face. "Sorry 'bout that, dove. Didn't mean t'scare you. You alright?"

You nodded, pulling back slightly to stand up, brushing your clothes down. You looked back at him, cocking your head to the side slightly before you began moving your hands.

What was that about? Are you okay?

He stared at you blankly for a second, before his eyes widened, like a light bulb had lit up in his head. "Is that sign? You're deaf?" he asked, standing up, a curious smile on his face. Suddenly, he brought his hand up to his forehead, shaking his head. "Ah, you probably don't understand what I'm saying, d'you? Stupid." he muttered to himself.

He looked back at you in shock as a noise left your mouth. It was an odd noise, like a quiet wheeze, but when he saw the smile on your face, he realized...you were laughing. His eyebrows shot up. "So you can hear me?" he asked, chuckling in response.

You nodded, a smile on your face. "But you can't talk?" he asked, leaning in a little as if he was inspecting you.

You shook your head, smile dropping slightly. "Ah. I see. Uh...what's your name? Can you like write it out for me?"

You hesitated for a moment, before you began tracing the letters of your name into the air while he stared intently. "That's pretty. It suits you." He said endearingly, reaching his hand out towards you. "My name's Hobie. Hobie Brown." he took your hand in his and pressed his lips to the back, eyes boring into yours.

It's nice to meet you, Hobie Brown.

He laughed. "I don't speak sign, so I guess all I can do is hope you said something nice back." he teased.

You laughed again, brushing your hair back. His expression suddenly dropped when he noticed a light scratch on the side of your neck. "Shit...did I do that?" he asked, peering a little closer.

"Can I see?" He asked. A little confusedly, you nodded, pulling your hair back a little more as he put his hand on the small of your back, pulling you a little closer. "Must've happened when I rammed into you. Sorry, dove." He said sheepishly, his finger gently flicking across the cut. "Did I scratch anywhere else?"

You shrugged your shoulders, putting your hand on that part of your neck as well, trying to feel the scratch. You shook your head, putting your hands in front of you as if you were telling him, it's okay.

He hesitated before sighing, putting his hands on his hips. "Alright. How can I make it up to you then?" he asked, cocking his head to the side. "How bout a coffee?" he waggled his eyebrows at you.

He watched in delight as you laughed a third time, your face scrunching up slightly as you looked away, shaking your head. He thought it was the cutest thing. "What? is that a yes?" he asked, leaning in towards you as you pulled your head back, a coy smile on his face.

You stared at him, still smiling widely before nodding. "Hah! I knew it. Ladies can't resist me." he grinned proudly, offering you his hand. "I know a great place nearby...join me?"

I don't like coffee. Can we get something else? You signed.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Uh...what?"

You shook your hands, trying to find a way to explain to him. You gestured towards yourself and made a drinking motion before shaking your head and making a grossed out expression.

He stared at you. "You...don't like coffee? Is that what you're saying?"

You nodded furiously, smiling in delight at his realization. "Yes! Another point for me." he laughed, pumping his fist out. "Alright...do you like tea?"

You nodded this time. I know a place.

"I'll take that as a yes?" he asked. "You have a place in mind?"

You nodded again, taking his hand, moving your head to the side as if gesturing for him to follow you. He smiled, putting his other hand in his pocket as he squeezed his fingers around yours. "Perfect. It's a date."

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[sehnsuchts-trunken]

Jake Seresin And The Unfortunate Hat Situation

jake seresin x fem!reader 3k words

summary: You’re visiting Jake’s family in Texas for the first time and so far, it’s been going well. Just that Jake may have forgotten to mention the hat rule. 

another cowboy fic because i fucking can

disclaimer: strong allusions to smut. im not kidding. this is basically straight up dirty talk all the way through

a/n: i’m warning you once about all the inaccuracies in here and thats it. read at your own risk. i have literally no clue whatsoever about texas and/or cowboys and did not have it in me to research cowboy history for hours on end, like- i tried, okay? i really did try. i know facts about cowboy hats now that i never felt the need to know (though “dont sleep with your cowboy hat on”, um... yeah? thanks? i totally would have done that otherwise) but i still do not have the information to back this shit up lmao

top gun masterlist

(yes i did have to use an everybody wants some gif. during the past week ive rewatched this film more times than i can count and i will take every opportunity i get to talk about it)

“Enlighten me”, you chuckled, spreading your arms, a bottle of beer in your right hand. “Why are none of the cowboys wearing cowboy hats? Isn’t that kind of their thing?”

You were visiting Texas for the first time - a week off of work, away from the Navy and the Dagger Squad for a bit, to meet Jake’s friends and family back home. You’d talked to most every one of them over the phone whenever he had found the time to call, but you’d never actually met them in person before this. So it had been an adventure from the start: getting on a plane in San Diego to take you to Texas where Jake had grown up, being picked up at the airport by his mother, driving two hours to the farm they owned (”You grew up on a farm?”, you’d asked when he’d told you, wheezing at the mental image of teenage Jake herding sheep), meeting his dad, being surprised by both his sisters, getting to see his childhood bedroom. 

And then, to top it off: the sound of his alarm at the crack of dawn this morning to go teach you how to ride a horse. 

Needless to say that you’d been buzzing with nervous energy for the past few days. Not that you weren’t happy - it was just all a bit much at once. 

After lunch he’d taken you into the city and you’d gone shopping for some real cowboy boots. He’d planned to take you to a bar in the evening, to introduce you to some friends. After all you only had a week here and neither of you felt like missing out on something. 

When you’d wanted to try cowboy hats in the store too, Jake had snatched them from you and grabbed your hands, pulling you close to him, telling you that you’d get one when you’d become a real cowgirl. Since you doubted that would ever happen, you’d pouted and tried to convince him with kisses and, when that hadn’t worked, half-hearted threats, but he wouldn’t be persuaded even the slightest. He’d only looked down at you with raised eyebrows until you’d caved and satisfied yourself with cursing under your breath. 

So here you were: Cowboy boots, jeans shorts and a button-up and no cowboy hat in sight. 

Actually, there was one in sight. Jake was wearing his, in all his Texan glory, laughing with some of his friends at the bar. The thing was, he was the only guy wearing his hat. There were some cowboys strutting about with them on their heads, but most of them didn’t have one - hat hair, yes, but no hat. Hence your initial question: “Why are none of the cowboys wearing cowboy hats?” 

“Shit, Jake didn’t tell you?”, Kendra - one of Jake’s only female friends here, who’d immediately decided she liked you and pulled you to one of the tables for some girl talk - let out a laugh. “No wonder it’s still on his head. We were getting worried already.” 

It was pretty clear to everyone that you weren’t from around here, so you saw no reason to hide your confusion.

“Now you’ve lost me entirely. What?”, you asked, masking your frown with a laugh. You’d been here for hardly two days and you didn’t think you’d felt as embarrassed ever before. You knew about literally nothing. At least you’d done somewhat well at horseback riding, which could’ve been because of Jake’s arms around you and his hands over yours as you - he - held the reins, but either way you were proud of yourself for not falling off and landing on your ass. 

“It’s like this: Ladies didn’t wear hats for a really long time. Cowboys wore the hats. So when you saw a lady with a cowboy hat on - that was her man’s. A sign that she belonged to him. Property shit and all.” She waved it off as if dismissing the concept. “Changed over the past few decades, of course. Better that way too. Ladies can wear whatever they want now. But the thought kind of stuck. You see a guy without a hat, he’s probably taken. You see a girl with a hat, that’s probably her man’s. And before you ever steal a hat, you should know the hat rule.” 

You raised your eyebrows. Your stomach did weird little flips as she talked. Jake hadn’t explained any of this to you. 

“The hat rule?”, you asked. Kendra grinned and leaned in, pretending to let out some big secret. 

“You wear the hat”, she said and paused for a second for dramatic effect, “You wear the cowboy.” 

You breathed out. 

“Oh.” 

Oh my ass, you thought. 

Jake hadn’t let you buy your own hat for a reason. And then he’d gone ahead and not given you that reason. What the actual fuck. 

You would’ve loved to wear his hat. You would’ve loved the thought of him claiming you like that, letting you wear his hat, showing everyone that yeah, you were Jake Seresin’s girl. But no. He’d left you completely in the dark, hadn’t let a single word slip. And he was still wearing that goddamn hat himself. 

Like a single fucking guy, not a man in a loving relationship.

Somehow, now that you knew, you were more annoyed by the fact that he was wearing it than that he just hadn’t told you at all. God, he could’ve left it at home. He could’ve taken it off. He could’ve just put it on your head without telling you why if he didn’t want to. 

And right there, that was the part you just didn’t understand. Why hadn’t he told you? He should have known you well enough by now to realise that you would absolutely adore wearing that hat. Not only because you wanted to wear a hat (which you did) but also because you wanted to wear his hat (which you did even more). After all, it wasn’t only him claiming you - it was you claiming him as well. And as horrible as the history of that hat rule was, in this present day you felt like it would only have been fair of him to tell you. You wanted to have that chance of showing him off. Of him showing you off, which he did so happily back in San Diego. 

“Hey”, Kendra said, her expression a bit more serious as she put a hand to your arm and pulled you from your thoughts. “I’m sure Jake didn’t mean to hurt you. He may seem like a bastard, but he’s actually a real sweetheart.” 

You snorted at her, nodding along. 

“He is”, you agreed. “Which is kind of why it hurts even more. I don’t get why he wouldn’t just tell me. It’s not like he’s ever been scared I’d say no to him or something.”

Kendra smiled and squeezed your arm reassuringly. 

“Try not to worry about it too much. Just ask him when you get home later, yeah? Communication is key.” Her smile turned into a grin. She winked at you. “And hey, you can always wear my hat if you’d like.” 

You forced yourself to smile as well as you took a sip of your beer. “If I actually were single, I’d definitely take you up on that offer, but I’m not, and I don’t think Jake would like it much.” 

Her grin only deepened. She had dimples, you realised, and the hat on her head matched her eye colour. You were glad to have her here with you. She was someone you were sure you could become good friends with over time. 

“That makes it even better”, she said conspicuously. She leaned back in her chair, crossing her ankles over the edge of the table as she tipped her hat back. “He never told you about the hats. You don’t know anything in his eyes, honey. Use it against him.” 

There was a twinkle in her gaze that told you she was looking for nothing short of mischief and you had the distinct feeling that she’d been the ‘bad influence’ on Jake in high school that he’d talked about so often. She seemed like a troublemaker. But she also seemed genuine. And she was right - in Jake’s eyes, you were getting to know one of his friends, talking about some girly stuff (which he probably assumed was himself), having a nice night. Not learning about cowboy customs that he’d just so forgotten to mention. 

Jake usually didn’t get jealous. He trusted you the same way you trusted him. But he got possessive nonetheless - always with a hand on your back when you were talking to someone he thought was flirting with you, kissing you at the most inappropriate times, making sure that everyone knew you were his. Now he’d had the goddamn chance and hadn’t taken it. And you didn’t fucking know why. 

But you were damn determined to find out. 

Kendra slid the hat off her head and offered it to you. You took one deep breath before you reached for it. 

You let your fingertips skip over the rim for a moment. Were you really about to do this? Then you put it on your head. 

Alright. If Jake wasn’t going to tell you about the way this worked on his own accord, you’d make him tell you. 

Kendra emptied her beer and you followed suit before the both of you got up. She grabbed both bottles in one hand, turning to you to send you another of those winks. 

“I’ll bring these back to the bar and get us new ones. The dancefloor’s all yours.” 

With a nervous smile, you adjusted your newly aqcuired hat and made your way onto the dancefloor. There was soft music playing in the background - country, of course, loud but not loud enough to disturb conversation. It wasn’t late enough for that just yet. Which was honestly a relief, since you had zero clue whatsoever about line dancing or whatever it was they did down here. This way there were only a few couples twirling each other back and forth and some people moving to the beat all on their own. You let out a breath and closed your eyes, allowing yourself to really feel the music: the guitar, the steady drums, the vocals. 

Slowly, you started swaying - from one side to the other, turning, twirling, one step, then the next, heels here, toes there. A grin was making its way onto your face. The music grew, not as much in volume as in pace, and you didn’t know just when you had started to forget about everything except your movements (like the people watching, for example), but then the song changed and you gasped as you realised you knew it. Eyes fluttering open, hands coming together to clap, lips twisting into an actual laugh as you sang along, catching Kendra’s gaze and waving her over. 

She joined you with a laugh, grabbed your hand to twirl you around, and god, her voice was heavenly. For just a split second you wondered how Jake hadn’t ended up falling for her. You certainly would have. 

And speaking - more like thinking, but whatever - of the devil, you felt an all too familiar hand on your shoulder. You turned at the same time that Kendra let go of you, allowing you to admire your boyfriend in all his furious glory. 

Not that he actually looked furious. Not to anyone but you, not with that facade he wore whenever anyone got under his skin. But you, well... You’d been with him long enough to understand that twitch of his jaw, that tension in his shoulders, that flicker in his eyes. And yet - the cowboy hat still sat on his head. 

“I got it from here, Kendra”, he said, eyes fixed on yours, as you held your breath. She snorted, but still made to move away, muttering something under her breath that you didn’t catch. Then Jake spoke again. “Take your hat, Kendra.” 

He grabbed it from where it rested on your head and threw it at her without looking away from you. She sucked in a breath. 

“If you throw my hat again, I’ll kick your ass, Seresin”, she said and you could tell that even though they were friends, she wasn’t kidding. Shit, the people here were really fucking serious about their hats. Another reason why you were mad at Jake for not telling you about any of it. 

“Next time, don’t set it on my girl’s head”, he growled - growled, really, you didn’t know what else to call it. She scoffed and walked off. 

“How could she know I was your girl?”, you whispered, challenging him even though he already looked like you’d crossed some line that he’d drawn without telling you. “How could anyone?” 

For a few moments, he kept quiet. You defiantly stared up at him. Should he think whatever he fucking wanted to, this was entirely his fault. 

Then something changed in his expression. 

“You found out about the hat rule”, he said, “And the first thing you did was go and put on somebody else’s.” 

“Well if my boyfriend doesn’t want to have me wear his hat-” 

You couldn’t react as quickly as Jake had gripped you by the waist and pulled you close to him, forcing you to tip your head back to keep looking at him. He was, in fact, so close now that you could just kiss him and honestly, you were tempted. Just as tempted as you’d been when he’d come out of the bathroom looking like that, just as tempted as you’d been when you’d left the house, just as tempted as you’d been in his truck. But you were also stubborn. And you had good reasons not to kiss him right now (even though they were getting harder and harder to remember by the second).

“Darling, I’d go wild for you with my hat on.” 

You swallowed. Hard. 

“So why am I not wearing it?”, you asked through gritted teeth. You couldn’t quite believe just how easily this whole situation was getting under your skin. But it seriously hurt your ego - and not just that. The fact that Jake hadn’t told you about something so important in his hometown, some, as ridiculous as it may be, piece of culture, something that would so clearly show everyone that you were dating him, really, actually, seriously dating him, stung more than you wanted to admit. It was like someone had asked him outright if he was taken and he’d said no. 

“‘Cause I told you to wait”, he drawled, “Didn’t I? Wait ‘til you’re a real cowgirl.” 

Curiosity and frustration were mixing in your stomach, a weird, dangerous combo. You grabbed for his collar, pulling on it just a bit too hard - nothing he couldn’t stand his ground against. You were feeling insulted by all this and you found that you should let him know. 

“What’s a girl like me gotta do to become one in your eyes, hm, Hangman?” 

Hangman. You only called him that when you meant business. It was like a mother using her child’s full name whenever it got in serious trouble. Jake stiffened, fingers digging into your hips so firmly that you were sure you’d be able to see the marks in the mirror later on. You’d hit a nerve. Always did when you called him by his callsign. No more Jake, no more baby, none of that. 

“Behave”, he said, eyes fixed on yours, that one word carrying so much more meaning. You didn’t care. For once, you really didn’t fucking care. You wanted him riled up, wanted him furious, wanted him right at this breaking point. So you smiled.  

“Like a dog?” 

He’d smashed his lips on yours before you could react. 

All teeth and tongue, decisive, possessive, angry. You didn’t want to give in as quickly as you did. But he hardly left you a choice - he was everywhere, arms wrapped so tightly around you, chest pressed so firmly against yours, not giving you the option to escape, to duck away, to tease him any further. So instead of doing that, instead of making him run after you more, you let him have the control. All of it. Instead of turning, instead of making him chase you, you pulled him close to you by his collar with all the force you could manage, pulled him into you, pulled him with you as you stumbled backwards from the sudden change of weight, put your entire trust in him to keep you upright. You couldn’t breathe. You didn’t want to if that meant letting go. 

Not with how much emotion you were putting into this fucking kiss. 

Jake was the one to break away first. Pupils blown, cheeks reddened (you were sure you looked even worse), panting. You loosened your grip on his collar and ran a hand through your hair instead. 

Somewhere in the back of your head, you remembered that you were still in a bar, still in the middle of the dancefloor, still under the watchful eyes of his friends. A different part was screaming at you to fuck it and fuck him right here, right now. 

“Shit”, he breathed, resting his forehead against yours. His hat let a shadow fall over both your faces. “You’re gon’ be the death of me someday.” 

“Hopefully not too soon”, you teased, a smile playing on your lips as he pulled back just a bit. “I still gotta find out how to become a cowgirl after all.” 

The corner of his mouth quirked up as well. He raised his eyebrows, examining you for a second. 

“You really wanna know, sweetheart?” 

You let out a laugh. “Fuck yeah.” 

He leaned in close, breath ghosting over the shell of your ear, and you had to swallow. This felt intimate, somehow. 

“You’re gon’ be a cowgirl once you rode your cowboy.” 

Your breath caught in your throat. He pulled back with a grin. Smug, you realised. He was so fucking proud of himself for this - for having caught you off guard like that. You couldn’t let him win that easily. Not with that already inflated ego. 

“All of this just to get me into your bed?”, you chuckled. “Damn, Seresin. Lotta work for no reason, hm? I’m in it at the end of every day anyway.” 

He shrugged - as best as he could with his hands still on your waist. 

“What can I say? I aim to please.” 

You couldn’t help but grin too. The angry, sizzling tension had dissolved into something much more pleasant, much more dizzying. Something that set your skin ablaze and your mind on fire. You grabbed one of his hands from your waist and intertwined your fingers with his. 

“Want to get out of here?”, you asked. He leaned in and kissed you with a smile - slow and steady and sensual, wholly different from before. 

When he pulled back, you were breathless again. 

“Always.” 

[mustainegf]

kinky sex with 2010 james plsplspls 🙏

First off, I’m SO SORRY that this is so late, I know this is a req from last month, but it turned out SO GOOD trust 🙏🏼

ALSO GUYS IM NOT IGNORING REQUESTS I HAVE 13 FINISHED FICS IN MY DRAFTS!!!

WARNINGS: slight daddy kink, slight choking, sex toys, pet names, bondage, overstimulation, edging, creampie, degradation, unprotected sex, kinky shit idk lol

"You're such a naughty slut." He grabs my throat and pulls me closer until our faces are inches apart. "Tell me how you want me to fuck you, whore." I want him to use me however he wants. I open my mouth and let out a muffled moan, looking up at him through lowered lashes, biting my lip, waiting for his order.

"No words?" His hand tightens on my neck and pushes down harder against the mattress until I'm choking. "I thought you were smarter than that.

Are you going to make me prove it? "

My eyes widen, and I shake my head. Fuck, this man. "No, James," I wheeze. "Please, Jamie. Just use me however you want."

"You're lucky I let you call me that, I might have to punish you for being so desperate though." The look in James' eyes was lethal, dangerous, and it put me on edge.

James reached across the mattress grabbing his discarded shirt. He quickly paired my wrists, tying them tightly together, not caring if it was comfortable or not.

He hooked the knot around the bedpost, leaving me unable to defend myself, waiting for him to do with me what he pleased.

He leaned down, his lips brushing against mine, "I'm going to give you two choices. You can tell me exactly how you want me to use you. Or I will take you anyway I please, and you will be grateful for it."

"P-please, Sir. Whatever you want," I stutter out, as tears prickle the backs of my eyes. This was why I needed someone like this; someone who would be rough with me but would love me at the same time.

James' eyes flared with power, just at the thought of having full reign over my body.

"Where's your vibrator?" He asked with a grin, sitting up off the bed to rifle through the bedside table. "No, James not the v-" I couldn't finish my sentence before James had found my toy. "Ah, ah, ah, you said I could do whatever."

He chuckled, turning the device on, causing it to buzz loudly in his hands. "Besides, this should be punishment enough." I didn't say anything. I knew better than to argue with him now.

James leaned his mouth to my ear, whispering as he trailed the buzzing vibrator down the inside of my thighs.

"Such a dirty girl, taking whatever I give you." He pressed the toy to my clit my whole body jerking from the pleasure. I let out a whine, but this didn't stop James from talking me through it. "Can't wait to feel your tight fuckin hole around my dick..."

My heart raced from the forcfull vibrations directly on my clit. "Can't wait to hear those pretty sounds you make when I'm balls deep inside you..."

I began bucking against the bed, trying to get away from the vibrator, but James held me in place.

"Can't wait to hear you beg me to let you cum..." I moaned into the sheets, "Please, James. Please, please." But he persisted. "Can't wait to fill you with my cum..."

He growled. "You are such a filthy little slut, aren't you, Angel?" I nodded frantically. He was right; I was a filthy little slut, but only for him.

I squirmed agaisnt the pressure of the toy, trying to escape the overstimulation, but James held my hips in place, pressing harder.

I glanced down as he did this, staring at his cock.

He looked painfully hard, reddened and throbbing as precum dripped from the tip and onto the mattress.

Suddenly, James turned the vibrator off, pulling away with a sly smile.

I gasped, lifting my hips, begging for it again. It was like he was taunting me, leaving it off, knowing how much I wanted more. "Shh, shhhh. Good girl."

He ran his hand over my stomach, trying to soothe me. "But first, I want to watch you cum on my cock. And then you can have your toy back." My eyes widened at this, and I started to struggle.

"Just hold still, babygirl..." He hummed, rubbing my thighs and taking his cock in his hands.

I watched with a watering mouth as he pleased himself, just staring at my helpless body.

James slapped my sensitive pussy with his cock, teasing me as he rubbed himself through my soaking folds.

He grabbed my hip with one hand, guiding himself into me with a roar. He filled me completely in one single hard thrust.

My back arched as I screamed in pure ecstasy. I wrapped my legs around his waist, begging him to move faster. I felt so small, so insignificant beneath him, but it was the most powerful feeling ever.

James threw his head back, not working up his speed or anything, just immediately going as quick as he could. "Let's make this fun, shall we?" He grinned, reaching for the vibrator again.

"No, no, no!" I cried out, trying to push it away. "Aw, come on, sweetheart," he chuckled. Despite my begging, I wouldn't dare say our safe word, I wanted every second of it.

I watched with watery eyes as he turned the vibrator back on, pressing it back on my clit, all while his cock was fucking into me.

"Oh, fuck! Fuck!" I shouted, arching off the bed.

"Fuck, Jamie! Fuck!" I was losing control, losing everything. Everything became a blur as James went faster and harder.

"Come for me, Angel. Come for Daddy," he demanded, and I couldn't help but obey. I felt myself lose control, my muscles clenching around his cock, as I came undone in his arms.

All sound disappeared, everything except the beating of my own heart and the sound of me screaming his name.

His cock coated with my slick, but he didn't stop, and he didn't lift the vibrator either. "You're gonna have to wait until I cum, honey," he growled, rubbing the toy on me now.

I let out sobs of pleasure as he continued to use me. "Fuck, I love the way your pretty little pussy grips me.." He groaned.

"James it's too much!" I moaned, writhing in the restraints.

"That's the idea, babygirl. I want you to keep cumming, keep squeezing me." My vision started to black, as Ilost all sense of time, but I knew it was coming, I could feel it.

"I'm close, baby. I'm so close," he breathed in my ear, his voice low and guttural. I could tell by the change in tone he was about to cum. I was trapped between euphoria and agony, pleasure and pain.

I felt another orgasm tear through my core, every sensitive part of me was spasming. My clenching only pulled James closer.

I felt his release flood me, hot and thick.

It was messy, animalistic, and perfect.

James rutted agaisnt me as he groaned, glancing up at my teary eyes and cheeks. My whole body was trembling. This seemed to flip that switch in him, instantly going into protective mode.

He shut off the vibrator, tossing it aside as he hastily undid the knot around my reddened wrists.

"Are you okay honey? Was I too hard?" He cooed, pulling me into his arms.

I exhaled, trying to collect myself, I was hot, a sweaty mess as I collapsed at his side in bed.

"Baby? Are you alright?" He asked sofity, brushing my hair out of my exhausted face.

"Yes, yes. I'm okay." I panted, smiling up at him.

"Do you wanna take a bath? Or just go to bed? I can clean you off," James smiled.

"I don't think I can walk, so maybe no bath..." I laughed quietly, my voice raspy from the constant loud moans.

James nodded, planting a slow kiss on my forehead. "I'll get a towel."

[celaenaeiln]

Jake and Mari meeting Damian for the first time

Jake: *watching Dick struggling to piggyback a 260+ lb man* Dad who is HE?!

Mari: Why're you carrying a man twice your size?!

Dick: *Wheezing but refusing to let go of his hold on Damian's legs* He's...he's my son...s-say "Hi, Damian."

Jake: I'm your son!

Mari: Jake's your son!

Dick: *gasping* Yes...but Damian's my first born."

Jake & Mari: *turning to look at Damian*

Damian: *looking back at them then turning his nose up and smirking*

Jake & Mari: *instantly activating their powers* This means war.

Dick: *jerking his head up* Wait-what?

--

Jake and Mari complaining to their Uncle Tim about Damian

Jake: You won't believe what he did! He hit me on the head with dad's eskrima!

Mari: He also punched me!

Tim: *snorting* Let me guess, he also stuck his tongue out at you two while Dad-DICK-wasn't looking?

Jake: Yeah! And then dad scolded all of us but when he was scolding me and Mari, Damian took dad's eskrima, put into his pocket-

Jake & Tim: *finishing together* -and mouthed "Mine."

Jake: Uncle Tim, you get it!!

Mari: *narrowing her eyes* speaking from experience?

Tim: *scowling at her*

Tim: .......hmm.

--

Tim and Jason forced to team up for a family mission

Tim: ...So I heard something interesting today.

Jason: Can we just shut up and work in silence so I can go home and eat and clean my guns in peace?

Tim: Jake and Mari told me they fought with Damian.

Jason: What? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! It must've been over Dick! It's the only thing that matters to that demon brat.

Tim: *smirking* yup. Remember when we fought over Dick?

Jason: Heh. I beat your ass. Good times, good times. I mean-what were we even fighting over, huh?

Tim: Liar, I totally won. And I know right? It's completely obvious-

Jason: Without a doubt-

Jason & Tim: *finishing confidently* I was Dick's favorite.

A ringing silence echoing in the batcave after that statement.

Tim: *smirk dropping* Did the pit wipe whatever brain you had managed to scrape by with? Dick obviously loved me more. He taught me how to analyze people, how to do laundry, and he even cooked for me! Me! He never cooks for anyone.

Jason: *sneering* And here I thought you were a detective but it turns out you were a "dumb-tective" instead. Has he ever gone skiing with you? Has he ever come up with a code-nickname for you like he did with "little wing" for me? Has he ever protected you from seeing seeing stuff cause he thought it wouldn't be appropriate?? Has he ever done that for you?

Tim: hE CALLS ME ALL THE TIME-HE LOVES ME MORE!!!

Jason: HE OPENS UP TO ME! IM THE ONE HE LOVES!

Tim: *screeching and lunging* I'LL BE SURE TO KNOCK YOUR BRAINS INTO PLACE!!

Jason: *grappling with him* AND I'LL MAKE SURE TO PUT YOURS BACK IN YOUR HEAD!!

*one hour later*

Jason & Tim: *Bloody, silent, and seething*

Tim: .....hey.

Jason: *gritting his teeth* what.

Tim: Did you and Bruce ever fight over who Dick loves more?

Jason: *mind exploding with memories of the two of them using sly, underhanded tricks to have Dick's attention for themself and sometimes even coming to blows over it* no. And I'm not the one who fought with a ten year old.

Tim: But you did.

Jason: You were thirteen.

Tim: No, I mean you and Damian fought.

Jason:

Tim: It's okay. I used to have a cold war with Bruce.

Jason: With Bruce? Why?

Tim: Because Bruce didn't want me but Dick did and Bruce is a possessive asshole who loves Dick but doesn't like sharing.

Jason: Damn. Yeah, that actually explains a lot. I'm still the favorite though.

Tim: *cracking his neck* You wanna go again?

Dick: *entering* Hey guys-woah, what's with the tension?

Jason: *Sidling up next to Dick and wrapping an arm around his shoulder* Nothin' Dickie. Heard your kiddies got into a fight.

Dick: *sighing* You heard already? It was a disaster. I'll tell you about it later. How're you doing, Tim? Everything okay, buddy?

Tim: *walking forward and grabbing Dick's hand* *furtively catching Jason's eye* Good Dick! I'm really glad you're back.

Dick: *immediately ruffling his hair and then Jason's* Awww! You're the sweetest. Both of you. I'm going to make sure the Bruce doesn't burn the kitchen down thinking he can suddenly cook in his old age.

Jason & Tim: *Turning to each other after Dick leaves* This means war.

Canon based

Dick is Tim's idol

Dick is Jason's idol

Dick teaching Tim panels I already posted before but here's him teaching Tim to fold laundry.

Dick protecting Jason's eyes from unsavory sights

Dick calling Jason Little Wing

Dick took Jason skiing when he was robin

Bruce being manipulative about wanting Dick back (another addition)

Jason is just like Bruce

And for fun XD

[m00mis]

i just read your svt shoelace scenario and it's so cute! idk if you're taking requests but if you are can you please do a "svt reacting to their s/o calling them bro" scenario? if you're not feel free to ignore!

thankyou !! i am totally taking requests pls feel free to ask :)

{ also i hope i interpreted your request properly ㅠㅠ im overthinking as usual }

svt reacting to their s/o calling them bro

cheol - he would be shocked and so offended like "bro??? me?? what?? i'm not your bro what are you talking about?? tchh bro? seriously? what happened to 'babe'? 'baby'? 'cheollie'? 'the love of my life'?" goes on a whiney rant about how he is not your bro, he is your baby and won't drop it for two weeks and only responds to you with "ok bro" so you know how it feels

jeonghan - he didn't realise what you said and would reply as if nothing had happened. that is not in your usual vocabulary so it went straight through him but in the middle of the night he would wake up in a cold sweat muttering "bro.. she called me bro?" and would text you right then at 3am to never call him bro again. creepy asf.

joshua - would suddenly look up at you with those big eyes and confused smile ("huh?") which made you super embarrassed because why is he looking at you like you have committed terrible crimes and now you are running away and oh god he's chasing after you

jun - you were eating together and he would burst into laughter but when he sees you're not laughing he slowly realises that this was serious business and he just points to himself with a mouth full of food saying "me? i'm your bro?"

hoshi - oh great what have you done. now he only calls you bro. "hey my bro ! <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>". yep. the rest of the members think you two have somehow regressed back to the friendzone with hoshi being happier than before??

wonwoo - is shocked and sweetly asks why you said bro, but you can't explain and he has the biggest grin on his face, chuckling because it was so absurd and he can't get over it. it's so funny to him that he tells all the members and he never forgets it. one of his fondest memories of you

woozi - the atmosphere is so tense after it slipped out of your mouth but suddenly he bursts out laughing and folds in half "you actually... actually just called me bro..!? i can't... can't believe it PSHAHAAA" between wheezes . funniest thing to him

dk - would hit him like a ton of bricks "is that what i am to you? a bro?" and is so upset you're basically begging on your knees for him to forgive you but he can't even hear anything you're saying because he's trying to figure out what he did wrong in your relationship for you to call him bro so nonchalantly .. heart brocken fr 💔

mingyu - you can tell it's echoing around his mind as he's off staring into space in absolute disbelief.. you start laughing at his dumbfounded expression so he starts smiling in confusion, "what? what was that? why did you say that? tell me!" and you have collapsed because his reaction is so funny. he's all whiney and rolling around on the sofa because he is so hurt

minghao - i think he would somehow turn it into a psychological thing and ask why you think of him as your brother and if you had any good brotherly figures growing up to try to figure out what is going on for you to call him bro. basically he would use it as an excuse to understand you more cuz he lovs u

seungkwan - would drop everything to judge you with that look in his eyes and the pressure would be so intense that you immediately apologise. he is never letting this go. occasionally calls you bro just to embarrass you because he loves seeing you all worked up

vernon - "sup bro". "sup" . thats it. sorry but he would be so unbothered. starts dapping you up every time he sees you followed by a lil kiss.

dino - half-jokingly goes "was that a mistake? im letting you off this time. watch your back" and does the 'i'm watching you' finger eye point thingy(?) while backing out of the room and when he's out of view he runs to the bathroom to let out his laughter because he can't believe how weirdly cute you were. talks to himself in the mirror about it.

[timeoutsoup]

Dig You A Grave

For @im-totally-not-an-alien-2 propmt

Klarion was enjoying his current mission for The Light. He was sent to a small city somewhere in America’s Midwest, to retrieve a magical tome that was currently in the hands of an eccentric billionaire. Imagine his surprise, when what he originally believed to be a boring errand, turns into an exciting night, because it turns out this city, Amity Park, reeked of Death magic and was infested with ghosts.

Giggling, the witch boy scratches his familiars chin as his eyes grow wide and his face splits into a mischievous grin. In front of him people were running in various directions, attempting to escape what looked like a giant ghostly cat, being ridden by a young girl.

“Oh, Teekl, this town is much more interesting than I originally believed.”

Watching mortals panic, as the ghostly cat destroys part of the street, and damages buildings, Klarion notices some pesky thorns in his side. Young Justice. Scoffing the witch boy decides to continue his mission.

“Well while it was fun watching, I should use this lovely feline as a distraction and continue my mission, don’t you agree Teekl.”

What Klarion, Teekl and Young Justice didn’t see was a teenage ghost fighting what appeared to be a genie, off in the distance, defeating her, and returning everything to normal.

Danny had just defeated Desiree, capped the Fenton thermos, and was looking for a place to detransform as the ghost genie’s wishes disappeared. He had noticed some superheroes fighting one of Desiree’s granted wishes and wondering why they were here. Sighing Danny notices where he is. Of course, his fight had to end in the back of fruit loop’s mayoral mansion, just his luck. He quickly ducked into an alleyway to change back.

Once back to his normal self, the young halfa heard yelling, and what sounded like a fight going on.

“I literally just defeated Desiree, and already another ghost appears.” Danny grumbles as he sticks his head out from the alleyway, and to his surprise it is not a ghost wreaking havoc on Amity, but a teenage boy, wearing a suit, glowing hands, and hair shaped into devil horns. The cute guy was taunting Vlad and Danny need to know.

Checking the streets, no one was around, the young halfa dashes through the open gates and crouches behind a bush.

“I do not care who you are, leave this property at once.” Vlad commands, glaring down his opponent.

“Oh quiet. You are interfering with my fun.” The young man says. “Now look what you’ve done. The Justice babies are here.”

Danny watched as Vlad was picked up by a guy in yellow and red spandex and is carried away in a flash.

“What are you doing here Klarion? Why are you attacking these people?” A young man with glowing tattoos askes.

“Wouldn’t you like to know water boy!” Klarion responds, raising his glowing palms, getting ready to attack.

Danny watches in amazement as Klarion fights the group of teenagers. Standing up, he leans on a near by tree and just watches the battle unfold.

No one noticed him until he let out a laugh at some of the banter going on. “’Aster.’ Who says ‘aster’?” the teen wheezes, as all eyes turn to him.

Klarion glances at the boy. “And who are you supposed to be? Another wannabe hero trying to stop me?”

Danny rolled his shoulder getting ready for a fight. “Alrighty. If you want to fight, I’ll fight you, and if I win let’s go on a date?” The halfa askes, smirking at Klarion.

Everyone froze. No one new what to do or how to react. It was Danny who broke the silence he made. “Well can I get an answer?”

Klarion regains his composure. “Alright Fine! But if I win, I’ll make you a grave!”

“Aw, you’re making me a grave already?! How sweet of you!” A hint of a blush appearing on his cheeks, but before they could continue, Danny is roughly picked up and is zoomed out of their by the same guy, who grabbed Vlad.

“Hey, kid that was super dangerous what you did. You need to stay out of it and let those of us who are trained take care of this.”

Before he even had a chance to respond, the speedster zipped back to the fight, leaving Danny on the other side of town. Determined to return to the fight, Danny whips his head around searching for a safe place to transform. It took a bit to find a spot, but he eventually did. Changing back into his ghost form, Phantom raced back to the mayoral mansion, and the fight that was raging, making sure to turn invisible on the way.

By the time Danny made it back, the fight had ended, and Klarion was now where to be seen. The team of teenage heroes was nowhere to be seen, doing who knows what, but left a destroyed lawn for Vlad to deal with.

Disappointed Danny turned to leave but notices an orange tabby, looking worse for wear staring at him. Floating down, still invisible, the cat’s eyes following his every move. He kneels in front of the feline, slowly offering his hand for the cat to smell, trying his best not to startle the poor thing. The cat sniffs his hand and butts its head against it, shocking the poor ghost boy. Most animals hated him, especially in his ghost form, feeling uneasy around a half dead guy. This cat was different. They were special.

Danny gently scooped up the injured cat, holding them gently in his arms, heading towards the nearest vet.

Klarion had succeeded in his mission of obtaining the tome for The Light, but at a heavy cost to himself.

Teekl had emerged from the Mayor’s Mansion having successfully gotten the book, only to be seen by the junior justice babies. They divided their attacks between him and his beloved familiar. In the end he was able to grab the book as he a Teekl were separated by a blast. Deciding to lead the heroes away and return for his beloved feline, Klarion took to the sky. Once he knew it was safe to return, the witch boy began his search for Teekl.

It had been three days and Klarion had not found her yet. Anger and worry clouded his vision, as he continued his search.

[angelicabunny]

Below the Table.

requested: yes!!

summary: y/n has to find a fake boyfriend who will convince her family during their fancy dinner, little do they know what’s going on below the table.

warnings: smut, fake dating trope, matt sturniolo x reader.

word count: 1,498!! (a little longer than usual)

“and you won’t believe what i said next!” i cried out to the triplets, they all stared at me while sitting on the edge of their lounge chairs.

“cmon, tell us already!” chris giggled

“you’re killing us!” nick added.

i finally calmed down my laughter and got the words out “i told them i had a boyfriend! so now i have to find one before tonight!” i cried, burring my face into my hands while still giggling.

i looked over to matt, his face an unusual shade of pink.

“you’re fuckin’ with us,” said nick while his jaw was still hanging past his knees, “you haven’t had one since freshman year!”

“i know! i know, i’m just so sick of them teasing me about it” i replied.

“well y/n, you just created yourself a shitty night!” giggled chris while getting up. i rolled my eyes teasingly, matt still sitting quietly in the corner.

“matt did you hear what y/n just said!” wheezed nick while punching his arm, bringing him back to life.

“oh, um yea” he said quietly, looking straight back down at his phone.

“oh my god. y/n, i’ve found your date for tonight.” nick said while holding matt’s shoulders and giving him a shake, “he’s perfect for you, look how cute he is!” he said while jokingly holding matt’s face.

"what, no way, i don't want to drag poor matt into my family drama" i said while staring at matt who now had an innocent smile on his face.

"i don't mind y/n, plus it will give me an excuse to get out of the house." he said eagerly while giving me a small smirk.

"are you sure matt, this means so much you don't understand!" i squealed while getting up to join him and nick. "but no funny business," i said firmly, "this is just to help me convince my family i'm not some loner."

"whatever you say princess." matt said in a joking tone, nick giggling next to him. i couldn't help but laugh with them. "i'll see you at seven."

i finally made it back to my apartment to get ready for dinner. i stood in front of my mirror in my favourite tight black dress, admiring my curves while clipping on my earrings when suddenly the doorbell rang, matt. i rushed over to the door, my heels tapping along the floor. i opened the door for him while still trying to fix my earrings.

“hey i’ll be out in a sec.” i said while focusing on grabbing my handbag and phone.

“holy shit,” matt whispered, taking in my body with his eyes, “why have i never seen you dressed like this before.” he added.

“ew matt, don’t be weird. remember this is just for tonight buddy.” i said bluntly while stepping out the door, locking it behind me. we made our way to the elevator, matt leading me by resting his hand just above my ass.

“matt get your hand off me.” i said in a jokey tone.

“hey don’t get mad at me im just trying to get into the role.” he replied while the elevator door shut behind us. i couldn’t help but laugh as his lips curled into his perfect smile.

the entrance of the restaurant was crowded with people, i could feel my nerves bubbling in my stomach. we made our way over to the large table, my family shining radiant smiles in our direction.

“oh honey!” my mother said happily while pulling me into a hug “why have you been hiding this handsome man from us?” she questioned while waving a hand at matt, his smile bigger than ever.

“it’s so nice to meet you mrs y/l/n.” matt said, his voice clear and sweet.

we made our way around the table, greeting all my family members who were more than excited to finally meet my ‘boyfriend’. matt pulled my chair out, waiting for me to sit before he did.

“such a gentleman.” i teased, his ocean eyes beaming while being hidden by his dark hair.

about an hour had passed and we all had finished our meals, the rest of my family chatting now.

the restaurant was packed tonight, chatter filling the atmosphere, i could feel my clammy palms lay in my lap while my leg bounced trying to distract myself. matt gave me a worried look before placing his rough hand onto my thigh, giving me a reassuring rub with his thumb.

“it’s okay, don’t stress.” he mouthed. i gave him a warm smile before placing my hand on top of his.

i felt his hand sneaking further up my dress, my face burning up as he brushed my now throbbing clit through my laced panties. my legs bucking below the table, a small smirk painting his face as he continued to tease me. i shot him a look before being interrupted by one of my family members.

“are we ready for the bill lovebirds?” my father said with a smile on his face, unaware of what was happening below the table.

“yes sir.” matt replied while still teasing me. i felt my breathing pick up, my core begging for release.

“alright then, it was lovely meeting you matthew, you two have an amazing night.” my parents said happily.

“are you serious matt?!” i said jokingly while watching him grip the steering wheel of the van.

“just part of my role princess.” he replied with a grin on his face.

his ring clad hands looking perfect as he pulled into the parking lot, the headlights beaming. “want me to walk you up?” he questioned. i nodded happily in response. i made my way over to the elevator, feeling his presence behind me as we got in.

“you look beautiful tonight y/n/n.” he said as the elevator dinged. a blush taking over my cheeks.

“we don’t have to pretend any more matt nobody’s around.” i joked in response while jamming the keys into my door, matt still behind me as i stepped inside.

his deep eyes meeting mine, as he unbuttoned his black tux. his hair sitting perfectly above his eyes as they take me in.

“i don’t want to pretend anymore y/n.” he said with a raspy voice making his way closer to me.

“what do you mean by that matty?” i said knowing full well what he meant, my core begging for him.

his body inches away from mine as he grabbed my hips, arching me into him, my breathing hitched at the sudden friction of his bulge pushing against me. “you know exactly what i mean, stop being such a tease.” he whispered into my ear before kissing my neck. a quiet moan slipping past my lips. before i could even respond he gripped me by my ass and carried me to my room. placing me gently on the bed not daring to break our kiss.

he pulled away roughly, “you’re sure you’re okay with this?” he asked while running a thumb over my bottom lip.

“more than okay.” i said while out of breath and trying to remove my dress.

he smiled while leaving a kiss down my neck, helping me take off my dress. my red bra and matching panties exposed. his eyes burned holes into my skin as be took me in. “god you’re gorgeous.” he said rushing to undo his belt, throwing it to the floor before removing every last bit of clothing.

his cock now in his hand, tip red and drooling with precum. his finger hooked around my soaked panties before pulling them to the side. his tip now teasing my swollen clit. before i could get a word out he had bottomed out inside me hitting places i’ve never felt before.

“oh god matt!” i whimpered while gripping the sheets for support.

my pleas only driving him more, his pace picking up as the most angelic moans left his mouth. his silky hair bouncing with every thrust.

the familiar knot was growing tighter in my core as i clawed into his back. “i’m so fucking close matt.” i managed to say in between moans of pleasure.

his thrusts growing sloppier as he gripped my breast, hard enough to bruise, pornographic moans spilling from my lips as a wave of pleasure took over my body.

my tight walls now clamping down onto his veined cock, his head flying back in pleasure. he gave three hard thrusts leaving me seeing stars before filling me with long, warm ropes of thick cum.

“o-oh god.” he whimpered while falling on top of me, his arms still flexing as he held most of his weight up.

my breathing was still heavy as he lied next to me on his side, his arm propping up his head while he traced circles with his finger tips over my smooth skin.

“what happened to no funny business?” he teased while giggling.

i jokingly pushed him away, but before i could give him a response, he moved his face closer to mine leaving a soft kiss on my lips before brushing the hairs out of my face.

this was so rushed i’m so sorry 😓

i also hate the ending, but i hope you all enjoy 😘😘

[starry-bi-sky]

clone danny's accident in the clone^2 au

Im thinking about clone^2 danny's accident in this au. he doesn't have his halfa powers in this au. He has his scary eyes and the ghost sense and the ability to see ghosts - kinda takes up a psychopomp role with his ghost cases - and enough ectoplasm to trigger the ghost defenses in his parents' house. But he doesn't have his ghost powers or his ghost half. He's just very strongly liminal.

And im just mmmmm thinking about how that came to be. When I originally made the clone danny au back in the summer i couldn't think of how he had his accident without putting him inside the portal, and I couldn't put him inside the portal and have it turn on and then just say "oh! he doesn't have any powers. he got hit with the full concentrated power of the sun a dimension with just a scratch"

like - like i can't do it. i just can't. i need some plausibility in my aus or i hit road blocks and can't continue (see: my jason variant au and why that took so long to post). but i was at work today thinking about clone^2 au and it hit me like a lightning shot. I think said in the original clone danny post that maybe he got electrocuted by the on button on the outside of the portal. But i was never really satisfied with that answer - it felt too placeholder-y to me. too simple. Less plausible to me than I liked.

so, solution: he still gets shocked by the portal outside, but its from a wiring issue that he spots outside of the portal. My first thought is; the portal had a wire that was unplugged. His parents, essentially, forgot to plug it in. Or maybe in all of their excitement they accidentally unplugged it and didn't notice. It just sounds like the right amount of cartoonishly silly that the Fentons are known for. "We put a second "on" button in the inside portal" -> "we forgot to plug it in"

Danny notices it while he's showing Sam and Tucker around the lab and the two of them are checking out the portal. Something caught his eye from the corner and while Sam and Tucker were talking, he went over to investigate. If this were canon, this would be just before Sam tells him to put on the hazmat suit and go into the portal so she can get a photo (iirc). (So he's currently in reg clothes)

And im imagining it as slightly off to the side. Its two black cords - an extension cord to the outlet and then the cord to the portal. and danny crouches down over it, frowning. his eyes follow the cord to the outlet, and then the cord to the portal, and he picks both up.

'did they forget to plug it in?' he thinks, turning his head to look at the portal's entrance. and logically he knows he should probably put the cords down and tell his parents, let them handle it since they have the expertise for this stuff. But...

his eyes draw back to the plug. it's just a plug. it'd be fine if he plugged it in, wouldn't it? surely, it'd be fine. he thinks about it for a moment.

he plugs it in.

immediately, the energy that had been building up slowly through the wires of the portal - the latent ectoplasm in the room being funneled through whatever tech his parents used to make it - goes through the cord. Like a dam bursting. In a flash, the portal turns on with a worrying bang.

At the same time, Danny is hit with a near-lethal amount of electricity. While not as agonizing as being inside the portal, danny still mentally checks out with pain. and he blacks out. when he comes to, he's laying on his back, still in the lab, with sam and tucker kneeling over him. they're talking - probably yelling, with panicked looks on their faces.

He can't hear a thing they're saying, his ears are full of the overly rapid, irregular beating of his heart and the pounding of his blood. His chest hurts like he's having a heart attack, and he grasps at his shirt as his breathing comes in short, labored.

"Hospital" he wheezes out, and sam gets up and sprints out of the lab upstairs. everything else feels like a blur - his parents and jazz are by him - his parents completely ignoring their swirling, working portal, someone's calling 911, danny's being loaded onto a stretcher with an oxygen mask over his face.

danny gets discharged from the hospital a week later, and sick leave from school for another two. his parents refuse to allow him back into the lab, stating it was too dangerous, and their work comes to near grinding stop to watch over him. It's honestly kinda sweet, but the hovering is annoying him - stubborn, independent teenager that he is. When he gets back to school he's still relatively sat out for phy.ed - he's been getting random heart palpitations (which had been at its worst when he was still on sick leave) and what the doctors think is a strange case of arrhythmia. Although Danny insists that he's fine - he's breathing, alive. Nothing feels wrong with him.

Then one day in class, Tucker turns to him to say something - a joke -and yelps - "your eyes!"

Danny on instinct turns his head to the window, frowning. And in the faded reflection, his eyes are burning shade of green like that of the portal. He blinks, breathing in sharply, and they're back to the his old bright blue.

Unfortunately, they're in english class, and the entire room was staring at them. "Is there something wrong, Mr. Foley?" Mr. Lancer asks from the front. Tucker is still wide-eyed and in shock, and he looks quickly between Danny and Lancer.

"I- no, um- Danny's eyes- they- were, um..." He looks panicked, confused.

Danny steps in, and leans over to Tucker. "I think he just spooked himself, Mr. Lancer." He says, looking frontward with his brows furrowed. "Sorry, it won't happen again."

Mr. Lancer looks unconvinced, and suspicious, but he lets it lie. "Are you feeling alright then, Mr. Fenton? Do you need to see the nurse?" It wasn't a secret to the school or student body that he'd been to the hospital from a lab accident - and that it'd resulted in heart problems that he was recovering from.

Danny grins at him, and pounds his chest lightly, "I'm fit as a fiddle, Mr. Lancer. No heart attacks here." He jokes, and leans back into his seat. Mr. Lancer stares, eyes squinty, and then returns to the lesson.

It keeps happening. Danny's eyes turn green at the most random of times, and the three of them begin wittling down what was causing it. In general, Danny's eyes were turning green whenever he was engrossed with something, or when he got emotional - when he was laughing, angry, upset, anything. Sometimes it resulted in heart palpitations, sometimes it didn't.

his ears were hurting too, aching, like when they were cold. Danny wakes up one morning and spends twenty minutes in the bathroom turning his head left and right - his ears were beginning to point. Sam thought it was cool - Danny just thought it was concerning.

He was seeing things too - apparently. He struck up a conversation with someone on the street once - a strange looking man who looked terribly pale and wore old clothes. He looked delighted to be talking to Danny - and then Sam and Tucker walked up to him and asked who he was talking to.

("What do you mean? I'm talking to him.") ("Danny, there's no one there.") ("What?")

After multiple instances of this, they configure that the accident had given Danny some sort of ability to see ghosts.

("So you're meta now?") ("Mm... I don't know. That doesn't feel right.") ("Oh come on, that basically fits the name to a tee!") ("I know, but I just- it doesn't feel right to call myself meta.") ("If you don't like meta, why not just call yourself liminal? Since the portal is supposed to access the afterlife and it gave you powers to see ghosts.") ("Huh, good idea, Sam. Liminal it is, then.")

And as time goes on - and his parents begin to catch and experiment on ghosts - danny adjusts to these weird new abilities. It's not so bad, he supposes, its just some creepy eye magic and a ghost sense. He can live with that, and no one needed to know. He could go back to being normal - right. ...Wrong.

Do his parents really have to catch ghosts?

plus additional sketch that i made at like 3am last night because i needed to draw it down -- aha ignore the inconsistent drawing ability that i have. i'm more of a writer than i am an artist.

[just-some-random-blogger]

AHHHH

Can I request a Matt smith x reader where in real life theyre married and in the show theyre hot sibling lovers 🥵🥵 anyways 👀 theyre doing a bunch of press junkets, interviews, games, etc. and its sooo fluffy☺️ and domestic☺️ and I just want to envision my life with Matt smith 😭

+ some star points if an interviewer asks about their 😏 scenes and they get really embarrassed but cute 🥰🥰😫😫😫☺️

I Can't Help It

Matt Smith x (ME PLS I WANTHIM) Actress!Reader

Summary: The tumblr girlies were absolutely wrecked when they found out their resident girlboss was dating their superwholock tumblr boy.

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: Crackfic, i use y/n im sorry im not that strong, head empty only matt, a bunch of made up stuff because plot!, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: NAH ANON YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED I WAS WHEN I SAW THIS I WAS LIKE I GOTTA ZOOM THROUGH ALL MY REQS FOR THIS IASFHASFAS. i swear my anons and i share the same brain fr we all just want the same loser dont we PLSSSSSS [foams in the mouth] Also, idk if you've ever read any of my chris evans fics, but what you want me to do for matt is what i did for him & IM ABOUT TO HAVE A FIELD DAY IM ON CRACK HELLO ALSO ALSO, i get you probably meant they're targaryen sibling/lovers, cause otherwise ALFHKAFA MISS ME W THAT BS, but i decided on doing something different all together so lolol i hope you like it nonnie <3 idk what you feel about matt smith but im still going to tag you anyway holla Tagging: @pinksirensong what do you feel about matt smith HAHAHAHAAHHA

It all started with this tweet that was prompted during a brief interaction at a movie premiere:

@fannygurl007: yeah but matt smith and y/n interacted for 20 seconds and i want them to get married and have babies [clip attached]

being liked by Matt's mom.

Then all hell broke lose.

And hell hath no mercy.

It lead with intense investigations of:

@ihave100problems retweeted: AWFHASL:FHAH WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY WHISPER TO EACH OTHER?!?!? 👹👹👹 @thedoctorswife retweeted: IN FRONT OF MY SINGLE ASS?? THEY FLIRTED IN FRONT OF *MY* SINGLE ASS??? JAIL @mattsmithbithc retweeted: "Oh, I think you look so pretty ------- yeah, that's great -----" HELP WHAT ELSE DID SHE SAY @mattsmithbithc replied: I THINK SHE SAID SMTH ABOUT HIS SUIT BUT IDK WHAT SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP @tennantsmith1 retweeted: you really can't trust men look at the way he's looking at her. i bet it was love at first sight for him. was anything between us even real </3 @mmmyehs retweeted: what's that? my matt smith and y/n cutouts gon sleep outside? I HOPE YOU KEEP EACH OTHER WARM IN HELL @y/nloml666 retweeted: NAH NAH NAH BUT MY BISEXUAL ASS WANTS TO BE IN BETWEEN THAT SANDWHICH @datass00 replied: me watching that vid like [image attached below]

Then these things popped up on youtube:

proof matt smith and y/n have been dating all along 🤡🤡

Clip #1

I stick my hand in a jar and pull out a folded piece of paper. "Who's my celebrity crush," I read out the question, turning back to the camera, "I have long list," I refold the paper as I push it beneath my seat, "and the unfortunate king of that, currently, is Matt Smith."

*cut to a bunch of 🤡🤡🤡 and really loud background music*

One of the staff asks, off camera, "why unfortunate?"

"Well," I chuckle, crossing my arms, "if you know me, then you know when I like something so, so much, I end up hating it." I straighten up, "yeah, Matt Smith may or may not have been subjected to verbal abuse as of late."

I chuckle as I hear a few of the staff wheeze.

I raise a hand and cut through the air, "affectionately, affectionately."

Clip #2

There is an abrupt cut to a sound of a crowd cheering.

Matt leans in, scrunching his face as he brings the mic close to his lips, "sorry, love, what was that?"

*The clip is replayed twice and captioned [IM SORRY THE WAY HE SAID THAT WAS JUST SO HOT I HAD TO REPEAT IT]*

The crowd is gracious enough to quiet down, keeping their fangirling internal.

"Is there an actor or actress that you have not yet worked with but always wanted to?" the lucky fan asks her question again.

Matt hums, leaning back on his sofa chair, repeating the words for good measure. He pulls the mic away as he thinks, then brings it back, "you know what, I have been lucky enough to work with some amazing people," he starts, "but-"

The crowd cheers.

Matt smiles and releases a chuckle, waving the mic around, "but," he carefully says, "I have recently watched Vampire in the Locker for the first time."

The crowd cheers again.

"Yeah, and thought y/n was absolutely fabulous in it."

Someone in the crowd says loudly, "same!"

The crowd, along with Matt, laughs. He straightens up and points, "that person gets it!"

But what it really took was this Instagram post to destroy the internet:

@imthebesty/n: ok but you cant get mad a me, i was there during superwholock. at least one of us won!! ps, he's a horrible cook, i promise you don't want him. i took one for the team 😇

That paired with headlines like:

Y/N confirms relationship with Matt Smith on Instagram with hilarious caption

Matt Smith cooks horribly, according to girlfriend, Y/N, who confirmed rumors with Instagram post

"I took one for the team," Y/N says in Instagram post, referring to dating Matt Smith

Tumblr but all stayed sane:

winchester-pie: Are you normal, or are you losing your mind overthinking one of the superwholock girlies is secretly y/n 369,278 notes dont-talk3me: When I gaslight people, it's bad, when y/n gaslights people, it's taking one for the team? 16,586 notes uowbish: I'm gonna say it: I DONT CARE THAT YOU'RE DATING MATT SMITH YOU SHOULD BE DATING ME [image attatched] 99,345 notes sh3l0ck3D: thinking about how y/n once said that she wrote fanfiction that was popular online. i should have known it was superwholock, she unhinged as fuck. 836,084 y/nb00tyluv: OK but i genuinely think y/n and matt smith talked for 5 minutes then decided to date after that 74,670 notes prettyeyebrows: ok but tell me y/n doesn't look like the type to make memes like this [image attached below] 424,245 notes

The cherry on top was when Vogue magazine graced the world with this brilliant interview:

I introduce myself and turn to my side, smiling at the man next to me.

"I'm Matt, and today we-"

"Smith."

Matt turns to me, words going dry.

"You're Matt Smith," I correct, blinking at him.

Matt looks at me for a good moment then raises a hand between our faces, turning back to the camera, "and today, we're going to be-" he cuts himself off with a laugh when he hears me laughing.

He drops his hand and gives me a look before continuing, "we're going to be answering some questions for-"

Matt points to me so that I finish his sentence.

"Vogue magazine!" I say, making the man beside me clap his hands.

The most played part of that interview is this scene:

Matt is reading from a card, "if you could have something of the other's, what would it be?" He chucks the card away, turning to me just as I turn to him.

I mutter under my breath as I think, "something of the other's?"

Matt furrows pouts his lips out in thought.

A beat of silence passes.

We then simultaneously trail off as we both whisper, "like a baby."

I wheeze and lean into Matt, dying of laughter. He snorts and beams like a boy on Christmas, dropping his jaw low.

"No," I warn as I raise a finger through my chuckles, "behave."

Matt throws an arm around me as he lets out more deep laughs.

"The fact we both keep answering the same thing means me hang out too much."

He scoffs. "Clearly not enough though," Matt notes, making me glare at him and shake him off. He withdraws his arm, face still awfully pleased.

I give him a look, "your mother has been ingraining that ideation in your head too religiously."

"I mean," he grabs my hand. He looks at me for 3 whole seconds before sighing and saying, "you would make a great mother."

I purse my lips and sighing as well. I lean into him a bit as I softly admit, "and I think you would make a great father."

For a moment, the two of us look at each other.

I pull my hand away from him, moving to grab another card.

Here are a few of the most liked comments on that video:

Jason Stone: I have absolutely no idea who either of these people are and only watched this video because it autoplayed. Do I want them to get married and have babies though? Yes. Yes I do. 88.9k likes kpopinmybloodstream: matt the entire video:😍🥰😘 y/n the entire video: 😍🥰😘 me the entire video: 😍🥰😘 but single as fock 🤡🤡🤡 103k likes sowrr88: if i cant have what they have, i dont want it 94k likes