#MY AROACE SOULMATE JUST TOLD ME THIS

[defective-and-effective]

“Sometimes, I wish I could fall in love just so I could fall in love with you” hold on. wait wait wait. hold hold up. give me a sec. wait a fucking minute what the fUCK YOU CANT JUST DROP THIS ON ME—

[nastasya--filippovna]

Crush Culture; Conan Gray x Beatrice and Benedick (Much Ado About Nothing 2011)

For me these two will always be ace icons. Thank you Shakespeare for writing Ace characters that can and do fall in love.

There's this general misunderstanding that just 'cause you're Ace ergo you're also Aro. Aro and Ace are two separate identities. Some people on the spectrum identify a both Aro and ace hence they're Aroace (simple really!)

And I think that's the same misunderstanding these two have internalized. They've been told that just because you don't like someone "like that" also means that you are not capable of loving.... that love is just "not for you".

So here's to all the Ace people who have those who will find their love, their soulmate, and whoever matches their freak. I love you all!

Lovely moots: @a-singing-lunatic @shadesofecclescakes @suburbia-and-brentwood-market @glitterypin @angie-words

@davidtennantgenderenvy @dreamsfrozenincandyland @turtleneck-crowley @dtmsrpfcringe @princeloww

@consanguinitatum @mystic-mae @cranberry-sniffer

It would mean so much to my pathetic low self-esteem ass if you checked out my edit!! Lots of love 😘

[queenbeedarling]

Tried to explain to my sister and her husband that my girlfriend and I (both of us are aroace-spec) are in a queer platonic relationship, and their exact words were, "There's not a relationship that exists like that." So I gave up, and they now think we're in a romantic relationship because I'd rather them think we're dating because it's easier.

I also told them that I believe she's my platonic soulmate, and he said that soulmates can't be platonic. When I told him that, yes, they absolutely can be, he asked what mate meant thinking he had me beat. Like, yeah, mate can mean mating, but it can also mean friend, Harold. Do you not know about words with double meanings? Did you not graduate kindergarten?

They also think the fact that we say we love each other and cuddle is because we're romantically in love, so, again, easier for us for them to just believe we're dating.

I don't know why it's so hard for them to understand, but I don't feel like having to constantly explain myself and be told that my relationship "isn't real" or "doesn't exist"

Allo people, ugh 🙄😒

[bogkeep]

when i was a teen, i was in love with my best friend. to this day i cannot tell you with any certainty whether or not i was in love romantically or platonically. i don't know and i don't care. it's very possible there is a difference, but i never found it. i've asked many people about it and everyone has their own definition of where that line goes, none that ever applied to my own experiences. there is no satisfying, universal and objective line. i think that's good, actually. the idea that there is some shining abstract concept that's specialer than all the other concepts that can only be achieved like nirvana by some people and not others is not a comfortable idea. this is not to say that everyone has the same feelings and experiences, absolutely not - but we categorize our experiences within the contexts we exist in. or maybe that's just word salad.

i know that - at the time, i knew i was deeply connected to this other person and kept thinking about her all the time and we talked about wanting to be close friends for our whole lives and wrote poetry together about our soulmateness and we made mutual friends feel like a third wheel. i knew i had no desire to kiss her or take her on dates, and she crushed on some boy at summer camp, but the connection between us was mutual and explicit. if the concept of a queerplatonic relationship had been available to us at the time, maybe we would've recognized it as such. i just knew that what i was feeling didn't match up at all with what i've been told 'being in love' was supposed to be like - especially because, at the time, Being In Love also included sexual attraction. we had just cracked open the 2010's and asexuality was a punchline and a joke.

i know that - during the time i was made to feel ashamed of my aroace identity and the narrative was that i'm actually just repressing my TRUE queer identity, i reframed my memories - i had obviously been in love with my friend Romantically. i was a Real Gay. i was Valid. I Was Sapphic Actually. you can't kick me out of the parade if i had pined for my best friend as a teen!!!!

i know that - once i reclaimed the pride in myself, i reframed the memories again: i had obviously been in love with my friend Platonically, because otherwise i would've been a traitor to the good name of aromanticism. if i knew what it was like to have a crush i would contradict myself. who am i to write about romantic love as if i know? what was i doing at the devil's sacrament?

maybe it is a mystery. maybe i don't know shit. it's hard, actually, to know anything at all when the way my strange brain filters emotions through my body reads so different to the user manual. how can anyone stand to pine for another when it's all anxiety, all day? "butterflies"???? really????? how am i supposed to know anything for sure when my brain's favourite hobby is to pick thoughts apart and run them through the distortion machine on repeat, on repeat, on repeat? i don't know if i've ever loved anyone at all, now that i think about it. maybe i'm an empty shell of a human and everything i do is an act of puppetry and wishful thinking.

i just gotta trust that the love is there, in some form or another. even when i can't reach for it and confirm its existence - let alone deduce a detailed taxonomy. what do you even need that for.

[punkeropercyjackson]

A lot of white aroaces aren't any less racist towards interracial/poc4poc ships than a lot of white gays are and i feel that really needs to be said more.The whole Huntlow antis clown fest when snowroaches in the Toh fandom were 'proudly' to quote their own loser ass words hating on it because they were disgusted Hunter choose a fat disabled biracial girl as his soulmate and that Willow choose an abused disabled non-conventionally attractive boy as her soulmate just as much and straight up mock/insult Huntlow stans for being upset over the erasure and mean-spiritedness towards our ship that means so much to us because Hunter and Willow are like US because apperantly their rep that was never offered to or hinted at is 'more needed'.That time a white ass weirdo was so out of pocket they deadass reblogged my post saying as an aspec black person myself i don't like aroace Hobie(Spiderpunk)headcanons because they feel antiblack due to how important his love interest status to Gwen and Miles is with how black he is and told me with 'ummm i don't mean to be that guy but seems like you're wearing shipping googles.Gwen said Hobie's just a friend-'and i didn't get to read the rest because they deleted their rb they didn't even properly comment on and just spoke in the tags like the racist pussy they are.Aroace hcs for black girl love interests are a massive trend ONLY when they get in the way of popular ships or is the wifey of a fan fave male character,ironically enough the same thing as the lesbophobic tendency to only headcanon fem characters in general as lesbians for the same reason just to not explore they're lesbianism at all.If you're a white person who actively goes out of their way to hate on poc love rep,then you're racist.Fullstop,no ifs or buts.Being queer literally dosen't matter in this context and yeah,that includes the lack of attraction kind,especially because 2/3 of the specific examples i used are canon queer ships(bi4pan Huntlow and transmasc4transfem Ghostpunk).You're not immune to being racist just because 'it's not about race,i just don't like romance at ALL' dude

[ririban]

I really cannot fully explain just how much The Case Files of Jeweler Richard means to me. I will never not be grateful about having come across it when I did. Like, I’m from India, and India isn’t the best place to actually be exposed to what being queer means. For the longest time I didn’t even know that the acronym went beyond the letter T. The word aromantic meant nothing to me because it wasn’t a word I knew. All I knew was that when my friends were getting crushes and dating, I was desperately trying to find new excuses for why I didn’t have anyone I was interested in. Because “I don’t want to be in a relationship” was an answer that earned me strange looks.

I did eventually learn that something called aromanticism exists by the time I went to college, but I never really bothered to learn what that entailed. Then I met a friend who happened to be asexual, and she pointed out that based on what I told her, I might be aroace. And I thought about it for a while, but wasn’t really convinced. More importantly, the idea of sticking a label to myself kinda scared me because it felt like it was something irreversible.

And then Jeweler Richard happened. I really enjoyed the first episode, even shed a couple of tears. The inclusion of a canon lesbian character in the second episode was a pleasant surprise (I did not know about Tatsuki back then. Present day me is annoyed we never got to see her in the anime). But it went from an anime I simply enjoyed to a story I absolutely fell in love with in episode 8: The Angel's Aquamarine. This was the episode in which we first found out about Tanimoto’s views on romance, and I found myself understanding where she was coming from. Online people were discussing how she came off as aromantic, and that made me think again. But, again, “sticking” that label to me wasn’t something I was comfortable with.

That changed when I came across a certain passage in volume 6. For those of you who haven’t read the novel yet and are okay with spoilers, Tanimoto visits Étranger after being invited by Seigi. There she has a conversation with Richard, during which he tells her this:

“Humans are creatures that can only recognize the present moment as reality. But that present changes, moment by moment. For example, someone who was bisexual in their twenties might decide to identify as heterosexual in their thirties. Or someone who considered themself heterosexual at age seventeen might realize that they’re gay at age twenty-five. Someone who may have considered themself polyamorous and open to relationships with anyone might feel as though they’ve met their soulmate at age fifty-five and become monogamous. Of course, this isn’t true of everyone—but from a statistical perspective, changes of this nature aren’t at all unusual. It’s just like how, if left to their own devices, our hair and nails will continue to grow.”

The reason I was scared of declaring myself as aro was because I worried that it was something I’d never be able to take back. That becoming aro to the people around me wouldn’t allow me to one day say, “no, I don’t think I actually am aromantic”. I would’ve rather stayed in a state of being confused than make a decision I couldn’t undo. But then Richard told Tanimoto that it’s fine. It’s fine to change your mind later on. That a label isn’t fixed to you, and isn’t something you have to carry throughout your life if it’s something you no longer identify with. And idk if I can even begin to explain how important that was to me. Because those were the words I needed.

It’s okay that I’m not interested in being in a relationship. It’s okay if I call myself aro. It’s okay for me to no longer make up excuses because a simple “I’m not interested in dating” is enough. This is a comparison that only Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint fans will get, but The Case Files of Jeweler Richard is to me what Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse is to Kim Dokja. JR did not save my life in the way that TWSA did for Kim Dokja, but it had a bigger impact on my life than any other story. I’d like to believe that the love I have for JR is similar to the love Dokja holds for TWSA.

As a final point, this confidence in myself and my identity isn’t all that JR gave me. Another important thing that happened in my life thanks to it is that I made many lovely friends in the fandom 💕

[phoenixcatch7]

Random mdzs headcanons that I don't think interfere with canon:

Though sufficient cultivation cures this, lwj is short sighted. (this is because of that mxtx interview but if he actually was short sighted he would be wearing glasses in canon.) Similarly, so would lxc and lqr is already halfway there lol.

Wen chao is barely older than the main cast. Like a couple years at most. This is is because it took until his poor wife (who shall forever be unknown, rip) being mentioned for me to go 'that's an ADULT?!'. Everything from the voice to the face to the short sighted immaturity and the lying to adults in charge, there's no way this guy is anything over 20.

Lqr isn't a very strong cultivator for all his technical skill is impeccable. I think this because I thought he was young grandparent age when he's the uncle!! It's too much stress! Major props.

He's also aromantic! We know that nothing will stop a lan in love, much to their detriment, but not only does lqr seem to regard the lot of them as idiots for finding the absolute worst choices ever but I feel if he'd also loved and lost it would have been... Relevant.

Jfm was gay, and his unrequited love was wcz. Alternate sexualities (and queerness as a whole) is one of those things that's still so dangerous in many countries, and I guess ancient fantasy China is one of them! Poor mxy. Anyway that plus arranged marriages plus jfm being an only child (to my knowledge) and needing heirs... Yeah I feel like that's one of those things that happens. It's common all throughout history, forcing people into het relationships for any number of reasons or risk social (or even physical) death. I could so easily trace how that would have affected him through the courtship, marriage, his parents, him genuinely trying to love yzy and maybe deep inside knowing it was doomed to fail, her intelligence picking up on that and trying to figure out how she was unworthy, her feeling hurt and disrespected, getting more and more paranoid and sensitive as it wears on, her being so close to the right answer but correcting her would expose him. Him just trying to settle for mutual respect and teamwork and her never getting what she needs to be fulfilled in life, what she was raised and trained all her life in preparation for. The way he's so unwilling to force his kids to do anything miserable and the way he's so quick to call off the engagement when all he's hearing is disinterest and incompatibility. I could make this a whole post on its own but I fully believe this man lived and died like so many other queer people have in the past - never being able to find out who he truly was, and that he wasn't broken for not being the way he needed to be. Wangxian have an easier time of it, but when there's stories like mxy? People keep their heads down. He raised jc the way he was raised, and he turned out fine. It wasn't their fault he was such a failure of a son.

To cheer things up, I firmly believe that wwx is bisexual af. Just because lwj is his soulmate doesn't mean he's not. Are you an mxtx protag if you're simply, straightforwardly gay? I think not.

Though I do wonder if jc being Banned From Women was 100% an entirely whoopsie daisy accident. Sometimes standards are supposed to be impossible... Now I think about it, the certainty lwj hated wwx, the total lack of any partner, the focus on jl, the constant frustration with wwx's flirting and incomprehension with jyl crushing on jzx... I think the women are the only straight ones in the family, cuz he's sounding the aroace bell! Good for him tbh!!! Break the cycle!!!!

Lsh is the child of either wrh, wc, jgs, or two perfectly lovely normal people who died in war/childbirth. He was 100% a village kid, so thank goodness they all stepped up. I feel like one of the wens would have told wwx his parentage either way, so if he hasn't told anyone else I can't imagine it's great.

Each sect is associated with an element. The wens of course were fire, the nie earth, the lan air, the jin water (koi/carp tower), and the jiang are lightning (given we assume yzy and the jiang territory are compatible (her husband is probably water lol oof)). Years of specialised clan training and select marriages have caused the clan members qi to take on movement (at minimum) matching the respective elements. This is based on the anime, where everyone has nice handy colour coded qi, but the twin jades have the prettiest cloud texture that perfectly matches their crest and wwx has an almost lightning spiky red with just enough smoulder to make he sure he's a fire type. This also!!! Matches their fighting styles, have you noticed?? Idk if they did it on purpose or not but it's so cool!!! Wwx and jc are constantly moving, redirection, bounce and flip around; lwj and lxc are very twirly, lots of attacks from above, lwj often lets his sword fly mid battle, and of course the music! And the nie are very... Brick wall lol. I'd say NHS is air? Maybe? Water?

This one's a bit silly, but I like to imagine csr and bsr are mother and daughter from a distant land where people use their surnames last (gasp) and it wasn't really important to bsr cuz secluded mountain but they did figure it was going to be a problem a touch late. 'oh but phoenix they have different spellings in Chinese' csr got asked 'oh so like the immortal?' panicked and changed it on the spot. Her husband's nicknames all use her 'surname', he's the only one who knows about the mix up.

Spinning in the air helps you change an attack or helps you float. Yes this is based entirely on the anime (donghua?) where even the most serious of characters (lwj) do three full rotations before landing a big attack midair. It might be so he has time to get his guqin out lmao.

Jc is left handed, I'm pretty sure that's anime canon at least. Any good swordsman (or dual sword whip wielder!) can do a little ambidexterousness tho.

Wwx can do decent guqin cuz he's the gentleman prodigy of the arts but he probably whittled a dozen dizi out of roadside bamboo on long journeys to entertain himself which is why chengching was such a fine tuned spiritual tool.

The jiangs were a great sect lead by good people in an ehhhh family. Individually they're all actually decent people but they bring out the worst in each other even as it keeps them all in check.

I firmly believe that yzy was holding back a LOT when made to whip wwx in front of the wen wench. That's a whole entire spiritual weapon and she was going at it wildly in a barely stable environment. Compare that to lwj who took the discipline whip not too many more times (if any) and was rendered bed bound if not house bound for years recovering (and grieving) and over a decade later is still a mass of scar tissue. And that was an orderly and structured punishment using materials designed to NOT kill the victim, not a whole entire LIGHTNING MURDER WEAPON. Wwx was back on his feet minutes later sword fighting, rowing, carrying jc on his back... Lwj is the more realistic result, real whips can be lethal, and very, very dangerous. They are excruciatingly painful and if you make a mistake they can easily flay skin and muscle to crack bone. You're not supposed to strike the same patch of skin twice. Yeah wwx and his stupid pain tolerance but I truly believe him and yzy were in full accord in that moment with the roles they had to play (and jc hated every second). She could at least have apologised... in the middle of heated battle for her home and life though....

Lwjs eyes are gold and sunset and stars' YES ALSO BUT I looked at them and my immediate reaction was 'that's a bird of prey'. They're LITERALLY falcon eyes, they're identical, and I've never once seen that comparison :(. He's already piercing/intense/pinning/scouring, (and his anime eyeliner and dark lashes look like the markings) he's so perfect for the metaphor. Make it that wwx is the rabbit prey, come on.

Why is wwx sun coded but moon aesthetic and lwj moon coded but sun aesthetic like how's that fair why does it always happen.

Stop blaming wwx for Suiban he admits he came up with a zillion good names and it was jfm who didn't pick any and named it as a joke. Ngl if that was my trusted person who went and did that I would have been gutted but hey wwx thrives. I do feel like jfm naming the sword that wwx sacrifices to save jc is grounds for some angst at the very least.

Lxc was definitely in some situation with the other two because he does read as a parallel to lwj. Their romantic lives are basically inversions of each other, you could hold a graph up to a mirror. It's just that lwj was so deeply lucky to get wwx back, and he fell in love with someone true to himself. Lxc just got used and left with the ashes, no matter how much true love was on either side. Wwx chose family, kindness and community with poverty and jgy chose greed and power and wealth for total isolation. It was NHS that inverted their fates, but either brother's love could only come at the cost of the other. Poor qiren...

All those fancy huge ribbons in everyone's hair (again it's the anime donghua) are special and ridiculously sturdy ribbons given by the parents they wear in varying styles to tie it all up and as they grow up so they don't trip on it. This is a silly headcanon but I love it cuz those ribbons are stupid long and literally everyone has it. Maybe it's the mdzs equivalent of the guan ceremony?

Wwx has for sure done cannibalism.

Ooh painful headcanon time - his parents died in yiling right? And all corpses get tossed into the mounds for centuries, right? Nonzero chance wwx's parents bodies broke his fall.

Lwj gets wwx a mule for a birthday/festival cuz those guys are basically the perfect mounts humans are ever going to get, they're just v rare and infertile. They're smart and brave as donkeys and fast and strong like the horse, resulting in an animal that is down for mounted parkour with the right training. And then lwj can ride a horse alongside wwx when they go travelling ^^. Idk I just think it'd be super cute.

Wwx only comes up with good names when he's doing real bad. Names when he's doing good: Suiban, li'l apple, rulan (after his bf). Names when he's doing bad: chengqing, yin iron tally/stygian tiger amulet, compass of evil.

[aroaceconfessions]

i am aroace. coming to terms with asexuality didnt feel like a big deal to me. i definitely am asexual, not sex repulsed but feel zero attraction on that end and i am fine with that. being aromantic however feels like such a big deal. i grew up with romance and love everywhere i looked. it was framed as some magical thing and that everyone had a soulmate and i could not wait to find mine. i loved love stories growing up. i wanted to fall in love so badly and have someone love me back. but i never got crushes on anybody. when kids in my class would talk about them i thought it was just little kids playing a game, and that they weren't actually in love/getting crushes because we were too young for that. on the rare occasion someone told me they liked me i literally got embarrassed for them because i was like wow they are really into this game thats so embarrassing (which i realize was shitty of me but like i just didnt know people were serious). the realization that my train of thought wasnt "normal" didnt hit me until college, when i realized we were plenty old enough to get crushed and that i was the odd one out for having not been in a relationship. i am fine cuddling and holding hands and even kissing/doing other romance coded things with people until there is romantic intent behind it, then i just feel gross. i feel awful, because i want the soulmate thing so badly, but it just isnt something i was made for.

Submitted April 21, 2023

[aromantic-diaries]

I'm Aroace

I've been in denial for a while now because it's hard admitting to yourself you can only see people platonically especially when you write about love a lot and want to feel those butterflies (but when you're faced with it you run)

And not to mention you have to explain this to your family and they don't understand. Not when you dated a guy in ninth grade but broke up with him a few months later because you mistook your platonic love for romantic. Not with all the "crushes" you had in elementary that were fake just so you could fit in. Not with how you told everyone you didn't care who your soulmate was but that was because at that point you were desperate to fall in love.

I think at some point in my life I'll come to terms with it and accept myself and be happy without the need for romantic love. I have great friends and I love my family. And maybe that's all I'll ever need.

It's perfectly normal to not be completely okay with yourself right away, it's kind of how it goes when the whole world is just obsessed with romance and sex and alienates anyone who doesn't feel that way. Most of us have to take the time to process our feelings and come to terms with ourselves over a long period of time when we've been taught that romance and sex is everything but the truth is, there's a lot more to life outside of those things and it's nore than possible to find fulfillment without a partner. Another thing that you sort of have to accept is that not everyone will understand or want to understand but that doesn't take away from your validity or your right to self acceptance. It does feel good to have people who understand and accept you but at the same time, accepting yourself depends on your own feelings towards your identity rather than external validation.

It does get better as you go along on your journey. You'll find people who understand you and you'll eventually learn that you don't really need romance to be fulfilled. I believe in you and I've dealt with similar feelings towards my orientation so believe me, I know what it's like and you're not alone

[leofiat-bunny]

Random notes from rewatching

Creating a cut means rewatching some scenes a lot (I suffer for my "art" 😇). So this is kind-of-sort-of liveblogs for the series, but not really?

Vaguely in order

2023 - the year we all forgot (or pretended to) 😅

(well, the "forgetting" starts in 2019 but the show's released in 2023 so 🤫)

Cayenne Auto Shop

10/10 naming, no notes ♥

I adore sleepy classmate with puppy plushie

Ai Di's never looked so fragile as after that kiss 😭

Costumes

Xiao Jie: poor packhorse 😂. Sorry, but Ai Di is too pretty a princess to help out 👑 (I've decided Xiao Jie is aroace. Because someone always has to be)

I want to see the other costumes he got. I think we deserve a fashion show epilogue. Petition anyone? 📝

And he chose Red Riding Hood a few months(?) after Zhang Teng mocks him with the name 👑😎💅

"It's rare for me to dress up so cutely"

I can't emphasise enough how I adore that the feral kitten has 0 issues being cute when that tends to be the purview of the ostensibly tamed

"You are not like him"

I don't think Chen Yi would appreciate us calling Ai Di a feral murder kitten/feral murder bunny (feral murder fluffball?) 😅

"Bai Zonygi, let him go"

Anybody else not keen on the script and direction in this scene? The actors are doing great but what's happening doesn't make sense?

Why does Bai Zongyi need to let go right now? You haven't tried to address FJR's injuries from the other side, and I doubt you're worring about spinal injuries being exaccerbated here.

If you just want to pick him up, there's MORE room on the other side of A'Ruei and that would be easier…

Maybe I'm missing something but this doesn't seem sensible, it just kind of leaves me confused rather than emotional

Keeping Bai Zongyi in the shop

The sympathetic pain my babies must be feeling for Bai Zongyi - knowing your soulmate is hurt and you're being KEPT FROM HIS SIDE on top of their own pain for their friend. My babies 😭

(And poor Bai Zongyi I guess 😝)

Interesting that Ai Di explains to Chen Yi

Obviously it's exposition for the viewers but Chen Yi's reaction is decidely "this is news to me" not "Ai Di is muttering complaints at me"

I can well believe that in general Chen Yi is the paper person and Ai Di is the people person.

That's why they agreed that the bar would be Ai Di's to manage.

Ai Di is eye catching, wild, loud, and brings the party and is unashamedly himself. Chen Yi is dependable, restrained, organised.

Petty was on the money that Ai Di colours Chen Yi's world, and Chen Yi supports Ai Di (matches his colours).

The extra : Leave before Chen Yi comes

When I first saw this on my dash I was - predictably enough - focused on the implications of possessive Chen Yi seeing Zhang Teng with Ai Di backed against a wall.

Now I've watched the full scene!!!

From the moment FJR shows up, Ai Di doesn't provoke at all.

He doesn't back down of course, but on rewatching I saw: he's not saying or doing anything that could escalate things.

His next words are when Zhang Teng is lingering "What are you looking at? Get out." and almost before he does:

"Where's Chen Yi? I sent someone to call Chen Yi. Why did you come?"

Because if Chen Yi heard that the guy who had killed one of his people was now selling at his bar and Ai Di was confronting him...

He'd be there.

Except he's been told and he's not there.

Something happened to him.

(Except no, FJR was arrogant enough to just not tell him, so that suppressed panic attack was for nothing.)

AND I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT MANY FEELS IN THIS SCENE DAMMIT! 😭

Not ep focused

My loyal feral murder kitten

A'Ruei told you to run quickly, and you really ran

If my words can kill him, I will die with him, okay?

Why do you want him to take the fall? We should let our people take the fall. It has nothing to do with him

Imagine a newbie trying to manhandle Ai Di the way Chen Yi does

Post prison someone who joined after Ai Di left tries to pull Ai Di off someone he's beating up… ends up on the floor suffering until Chen Yi arrives (called to the scene by one of the others) and has to watch as Chen Yi does what he did to the complete opposite reaction (yeah, he's complaining but he's not doing anything about it)

Has to have it explained to it that Chen Yi is the Keeper of the feral murder fluffball.

Everyone else is to respect the wild beast for their own good

[vylad243]

𝐕𝐲𝐥𝐚𝐝'𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬/𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

Hello all! As some of you may know, I try to be a very inclusive writer and love to interact with people who read more works! I also love to do fic requests and answer asks. Now I haven't had any problems with my asks yet, but I feel some people are like me and like things to be clarified so they know what they can request and ask

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

𝗙𝗶𝗰𝘀

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

What you can request!

Ships! I will do ships- I'll specify what ships I won't do below

Fluff

Angst

OCs! I will do OCs, but understand they may not be accurate to your representation (Including fankids)

Aus (including things like soulmates, A/B/O, coffee shop, human, ect)

Fics that align with my universes. (You want something to be canon to Rainstorms of AMOR? Let me know in advance so I can appropriately write it!)

Will add more

What I won't write!

Porn. I can write porn, but it feels weird to just ask someone for it? Like, why would you ask a stranger that?

Incest

Pedophilia

Charlie with ANYONE who isn't Vaggie

Alastor with someone who isn't Vox (my aroace ass has tried to ship Alastor with other people, but the vibes just fail)

Helluva Boss (I tried to get into it, but I just can't. Sorry

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If you ask goes unanswered, that means I am currently writing it OR It didn't send! I don't mind duplicate asks, if I get a duplicate, I just either delete it or say I'm writing it! I save the asks so I can link them to their corresponding fics! All my requests will range from 1k-4k words. Whatever I'm feeling. It might be a little less or a bit more

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𝗔𝘀𝗸𝘀

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What I will answer

Mosts asks. I'm a pretty relaxed person

What I won't answer

Incest/pedophilia-like asks

Things relating to politics. I try to keep my page as politic free as I can, sometimes the occasional reblog will happen

Personal information about me. All you need to know about me is that I'm Canada, I go by Vylad or Vee, I'm aroace, I write, and I'm an adult. That is all the personal information I'm willing to share

Propositions. I know it's usually bots doing this, but I'm making this clear

Opinions on people being cancelled

More to be added

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One final note, I do not accept criticism on my works unless I ask for it specifically. I don't delete comments on my AO3 and I do read them all! I don't need to be told what is canon in the universe and what isn't. (Happened to my fnaf fic)

I do do special works to celebrate hitting milestones. Those are fics I do for people with a guarantee I'll write them so long as they follow my boundaries

If I sound disinterested in an ask, I guarantee I'm not actually. I will let asks sit for a bit until I'm in the headspace to socialize! I'm typically a dead-pan person who works, takes a lot of medication, and has a dry sense of humour. I also have social anxiety (yes this is diagnosed) and can be really bad at picking up social cues! Remember, I'm a person too with a complete personality.

This post can be updated at random, but for now, that's all for me! I hope this clears things up and allows us to continue socializing with one another!

[polyamorouspunk]

kfbdmbddmnd I know its not sleepover fridays where you take these kinda of asks so you can either hold onto this until then or not, no huge deal, I just wanted to get this off my chest and im realizing this may sound incomprehensible lmao. so!

I may have issues with my first ever relationship, of any incredibly intimate/pseudo-romantic kind, and I’m worried that I may have fucked up.

I’m in a pretty heavy duty qpr with this person (if I had to call it anything it would be qpr, they’re more married to the term than I am.) and have been for about 7/8 months now. it was Incredibly Intense sparks between us, instant insanely high attachment insanely fast. they described our initial few conversations weeks after the fact as borderline spiritual, neither of us really believe in soulmates but they felt like they must have known me in a past life. we’re both polyamorous, and they’ve been engaged to someone else for quite a bit before they met me (for reasons, they’re on rocky-ish terms rn but still together), and one time they looked me dead in the eye and said if they weren’t already promised to someone they’d want to marry me. I have been this persons seemingly sole emotional rock this entire time, my dms are a dumping ground for everything from soul crushing existential dread and breakdowns to the newest fixation to the latest crushes.

at first I was on board with how fast we’ve been going, trying to match their energy. they have years more experience than I do with polyamory which initially I’ve been deferring to just like experience wise while I’ve just read more ethical non monogamy/polyamory theory. im on the aroace spectrum, ive been really up front with my stance on amatonormativity and that kind of thing, whatever pace works for us works we just gotta keep tabs on our comfortability and energy. but like. hm. it’s clear that I’m the one with all of the emotional maturity and regulation.

when they said they’d want to marry me when they were already engaged felt like a red flag at the time, esp since I knew that they were going through a rocky period with their fiancé. they started So intense So fast that. I sorta feel like it’s fucked with my brain chemistry. to the point where now I feel like hopping out the gate with “I must have known you in a past life” in this very “stay with me forever” sort of way while only really knowing each other for a Month is also sort of a red flag in hindsight.

now heres the thing though. I have been matching this intensity, learning new things about myself and how my own attraction works, but like, my trust will be broken by them somehow and I’ll plummet through almost half the stages of grief and have a Hell of a time trying to feel the same kind of close to them that we started out as, I explain my grievance, they have a breakdown why they’re a bad person I assure them this isn’t the case, we just gotta improve behavior, and then they’re back to normal.

there’s small things like us discussing relationship terminology, telling each other that partner sounds good, but then in public they introduce me as their friend. or asking for privacy concerning my mental health stuff I tell them and then later find out they told like 4 other partners and qpps with out me knowing.

or the larger things like one time I was depressed so we planned a date like 2 weeks in advance, talking about it basically every day. but the night before they had an impromptu one night stand with an acquaintance, spammed my messages with gushing about this new sort of relationship, how great the sex was, including pictures I Did Not Ask For, and how they’ve never felt this way before. I was initially surprised at this deluge of stuff but ok, I was feeling happiness for them, I do get a lot of compersion, but also felt it was a lil weird.

when we actually meet up, they spend the Entire date talking about this other person. Everything. Not once do they ask about my day or talk about anything else. at one point they start physically flirting with me but then get distracted with talking about how the other person would touch them and then said that they’re still worked up from them.

I am viscerally uncomfortable, almost dissociating. I try to change the subject and they just blithely switch it back to them after a few minutes. later when I told them about how this made me feel, they had a breakdown about how they’re a bad person and don’t respect anyone. which while empathetic, is unhelpful. I can’t comfort them through an issue I’m having with them.

so I guess my question would be how the fuck do I deescalate a relationship like this. I like them, I like spending time with them, but they don’t show me any thoughtfulness at all and my boundaries are encroached upon with zero self awareness.

Okay yeah so I’m sensing some like. I’m not going to say “borderline behaviors” because like there are a variety of mental illnesses that have similar symptoms, but as someone with BPD I’m going to say “bpd symptoms” because they’re similar to ones that I would have.

Anyone that uses “I’m such a bad person” is not in a good headspace. I don’t remember the last time I’ve gone on the “I’m such a terrible person” rampage but whenever it was it was because I was throwing a pity party and that is exactly what it is. No one who is throwing out the most guilt trip line of all time like that is in a good headspace or mature. Now I mean like I’ve said “what if I’m a bad person what if I need to be better” and that’s different. I’ve said that recently and it led to “maybe I should go back to therapy and work on myself” which wow wouldn’t you know it is exactly what I’m doing. Big difference between someone telling you you hurt them and going “IM SORRY IM SUCH A BAD PERSON” and going to your friends in private and being like “hey I don’t think I handled this as well as I would have liked in retrospect, could you maybe give your insight on what I could have done better and what I maybe handled appropriately given the situation, AITA or no?” Yk? Which is exactly what I did the night I went to 🔮’s bf’s party which was what then led her to saying she needed space from me so then I was like “hey here’s what happened did I do something wrong?” @ my friends in my server.

You can apologize without making it about yourself. You can say “I’m sorry” without taking on “I’m such a bad person”. I said sorry to 🔮 numerous times, asked if I could fix it, asked if I ruined it between us. But never did I say “sorry I’m just such a horrible person” because you know what I’m still trying to sell myself to this girl why would I say shit like “I’m such a bad person.” Like when someone tells you they’re a bad person they want reassurance they’re not because if you say “yeah you kinda are” then suddenly YOU’RE the shitty one but like yeah it’s really not a good move to trash yourself it’s a lot sexier to stand your ground and be like “I’m sorry this upset you and I’m willing to accommodate and change my behavior while staying true to me.”

It really seems like you were, at one point, just their newest obsession. And that they become obsessed with other people equally. It seems like you got sucked into their vortex, and it’ll be a lot more painful for you to get out than for them. It seems like you may have already tried to set boundaries (communicating that things upset you) and they were not well received (re: “I’m such a bad partner I’m so sorry” instead of “I’m sorry let me work on that next time”).

I’m not a spiritual person but I’m also not going to knock someone else’s spiritual beliefs so I don’t want to be like “man telling someone you must have known them in a past life sounds like it could be psychosis” but it sure is Coming On Too Strong™️. I mean, like I know that I come on too strong, but holy shit that is a whole ‘nother level. If it makes you uncomfortable to hear things like that, you are allowed to say that. Because I’m pretty sure that would make me uncomfortable personally.

Also the idea of being “promised to someone” in a nonmonogamous relationship is… sketchy… especially when they are telling you they want to replace that person’s role in their life with you… like that’s not healthy polyamory. Healthy polyamory is creating new roles for people in your life not replacing the roles people already fill with new roles while that person is quite literally still in that role.

If they’re telling other members of their polycule things you asked them to keep to themselves then they are once again not respecting your boundaries.

I understand that people can be really charming and draw people in (think of extreme cases like Manson and Bundy) and that it can be hard to escape that. It doesn’t sound healthy from the outside but I’m not one to be like “dump their ass” for advice. I’m just saying that you’re aware it’s kind of toxic and unhealthy, and obviously I don’t have both sides, but I can say as someone who does have BPD there is a world where you can have a partner with those kinds of issues and have a relationship that isn’t that toxic I swear. Like I was a lot worse than I am not and I got better, like there are plenty of more mild people out there who have the same issues but actually put in the effort to get better for those around them.

[calamitoustide]

Okay, hear me out because I need to share this thought with someone, but 'the prophecy' & 'the bolter' as aromatic James and regulus... (or any of the marauders and co) (it could also just be because I relate to those songs on a aromatic/cupioromantic level and kin james)

oh my god that's just :( but yeah you're right im gonna talk about aroace jeg a lot one second

the prophecy is very much james at least in my head because in my head he wanted all that love stuff he wanted to fall in love so badly and he blamed himself for it a lot he thought he was doing it wrong. He told himself he was in love with lily because he thought that's what love felt like he thought he would force it but he couldn't, and so he was just sitting there with her in his arms praying to any god that would hear him that he would feel something feel the things everyone is telling him he should feel but he doesn't please change the prophecy don't want money just someone who wants my company

and THIS line really sticks out to me as him because he's been waiting. When you're young you don't know what love is, you don't know how to have crushes, but then eventually everyone around you is having those feelings and being in love and you're just not feeling any of it James was waiting but now he's crumbling because everyone else is in love and he just... isn't

and the bolter! that's my boy reg right there and not just because of the drowning symbolism...

Reg doesn't like anything romantic in my head, like he likes holding hands when it's James and only James but the rest is a no for him he doesn't like kissing and he doesn't like anything more it makes him sick. With James he just doesn't feel anything but Reg is completely just repulsed by it

So he's not waiting for signs of soulmates he's scoffing at all his friends and rolling his eyes. He hung onto the idea of cooties for probably much too long but that's just how it was with him

im gonna talk about this part

and I'm saying that this isn't actually all like "romantic" at least not for Reg, because I feel like he gets himself into a lot of situations he doesn't mean to simply because he doesn't think like that

Someone could very obviously want to get in his pants and he's oblivious to the whole thing he never looks at someone and wants to fuck them so he doesn't think anyone ever looks at him like that but they do and so he can be talking to them and then suddenly it hits him and he realizes they're looking for something he really doesn't want to give them so all that "first blush" and roses are really just in the other persons head and not his so he runs and everyone just thinks he's flighty and can't do commitment but he really just can't do any of it

ANYWAY

when jeg meet james finally can have someone who wants his company and someone he knows he doesn't have to force any feelings for someone who is just his and reg knows he doesn't have to run anymore because he knows james isn't looking for anything more, he's just looking for him

[udaberriwrites]

Hi Annie! Im here for the fanfic ask game!!! Hope youre doing well! Well, on to the ask!

Hmm! Lets go...B, F, and S!

Thanks for the ask! <3

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Maybe not as a direct record of my experiences, but if I had to choose one that was made from a deeply personal place, it would be All That Matters, for sure.

It's a fic about asexuality as seen through the prism of an allo-heteronormative society, featuring a childhood favorite - Asterix, who I very much headcanon as aroace.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Ooh, this one is hard! But I loved this bit of The Girl with Pink Carnations in her Hair, a dialogue-only fic:

“Honestly, I’m surprised you even remembered that dumb story. We were… what, nineteen? Twenty? It was just before the war, wasn’t it?” “Just about. We offered to babysit Molly for a night because Yoshi was in that phase when he wouldn’t stop crying.” “The four of us made a pillow fort in our quarters and we made up stories until she fell asleep. I never knew Ziyal was illustrating them.”

"We were planning to gift Molly that story for her birthday, so we kept it just between the two of us. It was going to be a trial run, to see if we could create something worth publishing professionally. But then…”

“Yeah. I know.”

“We could have been…”

“I know.”

“I never told her.”

“I know. I’m so sorry.”

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Any that @mikaharuka drags me into. I mean. I adore time-travel, that is one that is sure to catch my attention. Male-Female friendship too, or a clever twist to the Soulmate trope are great to see as well!

[aro-and-ace-memes-thoughts]

I'm gonna copy/paste this to some other blogs too because I would like advice from people with different perspectives

Am I weird or inconsistant for wanting to marry a fellow aroace person?

Society today always ties mariage and love together but historically and legally (at least in my country) it was (is?) not the case. Mariage was a contract between two families to perpetuate the bloodline, to keep lands, goods and properties between them, to socially protect both parties and help them to enrich themself, and while love between the two individuals was always a nice addition it was not a viable reason to get married/divorced (that and the all "only hetero wedding" cause religion is always a party pooper, but it's an all other point).

At it's roots mariage is only a social and economic contract but today the only good reason to be married is romantic love? And I'm just 😐 about that.

Don't get me wrong, I find it fantastic that Love is now a primary variant when before a lot of couples where stuck together because the family didn't ask or care for for their consentement. But now it's the ONLY reason people will accept the mariage of others and when I try to explain myself that I want it as a partnership with a friend to live my life people tries to... Invalidate me?

Like I just want to meet a good friend (that could support living with me every day 😅) laugh with them, cry with them, support each other, and that we like it or not mariage is a way to do so cause the state loves families cause they are profitable💲💲

So the state offers (or is supposed to) socials advantages and economic safety to married couples that it doesn't to single people.

And while I kinda agree with the reasonning behind it, I'm also sad to be more subjected to instability because I don't feel romantic love.

I've asked it to different people (both lgbt and not) and I was called greedy because I only want to profite from the eco/social benefits of the mariage, and I was like Yes ??!! That's the reason why this contract exist ?? And it's a natural and beautiful thing when the two persons love each-other but it's bad, greedy, I'm a leech/a parasite that only want to suck the money out of the system for myself because it's for "helping to support the children of the family" But there is plenty of CisHet couples and LGBT couples that can't or doesn't want kids but are still allowed to marry, but I'm weird for wanting it?

Because I only love my friends and I'm not IN LOVE with them? Because I don't want to fuck them?

Why my platonic love towards my friends, peoples dear to my heart, is less valid than the Oh so beautiful, Oh so pure, Oh so sacro-saint romantique one ?!

I've also tried to convey my ideas through rough sketches of a little comic on another site and some told me they didn't see the point, others to "just found a roommate and stop being weird" and someone accused me of queerbaiting because I depicted myself (a girl) with another girl and I was told I wanted to profit from a queer audience without wanting to write a WlW story properly, and I don't know it hurted me to receive those replies, to not be able to tell what I wanted to do, what I was craving for, that I started crying on the spot it was the first time I felt so invalidate as an AroAce and it came from an other lgbt member, like shit lady I'm trying to express something difficult for me why did you felt the need to insult me like that !!!!??? I've also received creepy DMs from guys that wanted to help me discover thE ReAL DeAl fuck every one of them !!!!

I just want to find my soulmate in this stupid universe but I know mine will be a Friend, a sibling from a different family. We will eat as every other couples, we will arguing over the evening movie as every other couple, we will stress together over taxes and rent like every other couple, we will love each other but of a simple and serene love that only friendship can create, completely platonic but nonetheless true. BECAUSE WE WILL BE TWO RESPONSIBLES AND CONSENTENT ADULTS THAT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT

I just want an other idiot to be a couple of idiots that helps each other to live in a society that despise single people and exposed them as failure to enforce it's own nuclear family model

And if I want us to signed a stupid mariage contract together I dont understand why everyone else tries so hard to make it weird !!!!!!

I'm sorry if it appears rude, I'm still under the heat of the emotion and not an english speaker

I want comment ? advice ? answer ? acknowledgment ? I dont know am I actually the weirdo ? 😞

Hi anon,

I apologise for taking so long to respond to this. I hope your life is going well :)

No, I don't think you're weird, inconsistent or greedy for wanting to marry someone platonically for tax benefits. It's not wrong to want the same benefits as romantic couples without forcing yourself into a romantic relationship. As long as both you and your partner consent to it, it’s totally fine!

This is not the first time I hear about aspecs wanting to marry for tax benefits. The concept is quite present in examples of relationship dynamics in qprs (queer-platonic relationships, a type of relationship that isn't romantic but goes beyond the social norms for friendships). 

Aros already have a natural disadvantage to this system and because of that we won't ever be able to marry for romantic reasons. We're at a disadvantage for something we can't control and that's what many allo people don't understand. You want to marry because of (a different kind of) love, but even if it was exclusively for money benefits, it's none of other people's businesses.

I'm sorry you faced so much backlash. Those people were extremely rude. Real people can't "queerbait", that's a concept applied to fictional characters only; those people who told you to just find a roommate wouldn't certainly be happy to just be a roommate with a romantic partner. As I said, those people fail to understand that it's not a choice to not be romantically attracted to someone and probably fail to think outside of their allo experience and the amatonormative society. It's really unfortunate though that queer people, who should be supporting you, are the ones being hateful.

So basically, it's totally fine to want marriage for non-romantic reasons. Other people think they know what is best for you but they don't. Follow your own path and think of your and your partner's happiness before other's opinions. There's nothing wrong to benefiting from a societal contract like marriage. Honestly I think it's a smart choice.

[pacificwaternymph]

How do you feel about platonic ships? Like for example Soup Group QPR or Roseblings (I consider Sausage a part of Roseblings, Ik he's technically not included in that group but I lump him in anyways)?

If you mean romantic ships... uhh Jizzie (can we all agree that's the worst ship name ever, who came up with that lol?), and Nature Wives?? Though honestly all ships except Jizzie, Jornoth, and Flower Husbands (these ones are explicitly romantic in canon) I consider to be platonic unless explicitly told by a CC they're romantic.

-A romance-averse aroace bean that still wants to participate in the ask game but isn't really comfortable making romance headcanons

Are you kidding? I adore platonic relationships. Some of my favorite dynamics come from familial/platonic soulmates. Found family is my favorite trope.

(PLATONIC) WRA

vomit / don’t ship / ok / cute / adorable / sexy / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying /i will ship them in hell

Love them so much <3 was less invested in the povs when the series was running but ya know I’ve grown quite attached to them now.

I don’t really know a lot about soup group bc I don’t watch Hermitcraft haha. I keep trying to get into it but I get overwhelmed

Jizzie/Shadowbeans

vomit / don’t ship / ok / cute / adorable / sexy / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying /i will ship them in hell

I love them SO MUCH. I’ve been watching Lizzie for so long and she and Joel are just the cutest couple ever. And of course Joel is big, strong, sexy and humble so I had to throw that in there lmao. Their character dynamic is just so hilarious to me too.