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#Soap missed :(
stinglesswasp · 1 month
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nerdpoe · 8 days
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"I hired him with a bag of hot cheetos."
"You...hired who?" Joker asked, looking around.
"My bodyguard from my hometown. I hired him." The hostage said, actually sounding bored.
"...There's no one here but you and me, kiddo, and-"
"You and I, actually. His name is Phantom, and he's here right now. Bye."
Then the kid disappeared. Literally. Him, and the bomb he'd been strapped to.
Or; To soothe his parents about his decision to move to Gotham, Danny lied and said he'd bought Phantoms services as a bodyguard with a bag of hot cheetos. Now, whenever he gets into trouble, he just goes invisible and intangible and nopes out.
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wombywoo · 2 months
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retired 🩶
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inkskinned · 7 months
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love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.
love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.
love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.
love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.
maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.
recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.
#writeblr#warm up#ps edited so it is more clear where “half” of men is coming from:#15% literally don't even touch water#an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP#15+35 =50%#like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap#btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water''#which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes#ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild#i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me#but no they're just confidently wrong.....#182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6#that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week.#ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho#this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded#in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair#or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS.#men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies#i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health.#this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become.#like they don't try to hide it anymore.
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wispscribbles · 2 months
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Me @ Ghost: I sentence u to happy retirement, loser
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s0fter-sin · 8 months
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everyone makes fun of soap when they find out how many hair and skin products he keeps on hand. the cabinet in his bathroom is filled to bursting and he always keeps travel sized bottles on him on missions
when soldiers outside the 141 find out, they call him precious and self-obsessed, a vain pretty boy too preoccupied with his reflection to focus on the enemy. no wonder how he got his callsign. price has given up telling him to leave them on base and just teaches him to individually wrap them so they don’t rattle against each other and give himself away
what they don’t know is that each product contains an ingredient that when mixed with any number of the others, creates potent chemical bombs. he was caught unarmed once, he won’t let it happen again
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furiosophie · 2 months
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((zombie ghost this, zombie ghost that, what about eldritch!soap who came back wrong??))
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cod-dump · 4 months
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Ghost when Soap leaves him alone for a long period of time: Damn this sucks, can’t wait for Johnny to come back
Soap when Ghost leaves him alone for a long period of time: I’M LOSING MY MIND. MY HEART YEARNS FOR MY LOVER’S EMBRACE, BUT ALAS I AM HERE WITHOUT HIM. WHEN WILL HE RETURN FROM WAR? WHEN WILL MY COLD, LONELY NIGHTS FINALLY COME TO AN END? THIS IS MADNESS!!
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gomzdrawfr · 4 months
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Merry Christmas
a short comic with mistletoe
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warning: angst, mcd ahead
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yumethefrostypanda · 3 months
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MacTavish
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yi3248 · 27 days
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ghost had the perfect setup, and capt mactavish just had to not go according to his script
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valkyrss · 6 days
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"Break's over, Roach. Let's go."
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tanked-up · 4 months
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(Soap and Ghost exhausted from training while Gaz stares from afar)
Ghost hands Soap a water bottle: Thought you need a bit of help…
Soap: Thanks…
Gaz runs to Price’s office: GHOST IS IN LOVE
Price: Sounds ridiculous-
Gaz: I’M SERIOUS, CAPT’N! HE BOUGHT SOAP A WATER BOTTLE-
Price: HE DID!?
Gaz: YE-
Price standing up getting his coat: OH GOD HE’S HEAD OVER HEALS, LETS GO
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ghouljams · 9 days
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Sin Summer(Ghost + Soap)
Rating: E Tags: f!reader, Ghost x f!reader, Soap x f!reader, Ghost x Soap x f!reader, fingering, piv sex, oral (f&m receiving), dirty talk, D/s dynamics, mmf threesome, unprotected sex(sort of), choking Summary: Ghost and Soap take it upon themselves to interview you for the position of Barrack Bunny. Highly sought after, you're sure.
Part 3
The men are discussing something quietly as you take a seat on the bed. You kick your feet waiting for them to refocus their attention. Ghost’s eyes dart to you, he smiles, his eyes crinkling while John talks. You return the smile, enjoying the view. There’s only one reason to bring another man into the room, one you hadn’t exactly pegged Ghost for. Then again you don’t know much about the guy. Still, you’re not opposed. John is a good looking guy, Ghost is more your type, but you have slept with both of them, so you suppose you shouldn’t be too harsh on poor Johnny boy.
Johnny --you try not to laugh at Ghost’s clear familiarity with him-- crosses his arms over his chest. His biceps flex deliciously, reminding you how nice it was to sink your teeth into them. Ghost settles a hand on the back of Johnny’s neck and pushes him forward, catching his ankle with his foot to make the Scot stumble as he tries to catch himself from falling. He hops towards the bed and you laugh, holding your leg up to catch him with a foot pressed to his sternum.
“Clean ‘er up,” Ghost grunts, stalking after him. You tip your head to give Johnny a sly smile, directing him to his knees as Ghost tells you. “We’re out of condoms, so we gotta get creative.”
“Got one in my wallet,” Johnny breathes, his hands settling on your knees to spread your legs. His eyes fix on your pussy, and you reach to pet a hand through his mohawk. He’s a sweetheart when he knows his place.
Ghost tips your head back to meet his eye with a firm finger under your chin. He raises a brow. “I’ve got the implant,” You tell him, ignoring Johnny despite the way you pull him close. Ghost hums.
“He’s still gotta use the condom,” He decides.
“Want me all to yourself, eh?” You tease and Ghost pushes you back onto the bed. 
“Somethin’ like that,” He grumbles, but you can see red creeping over his cheeks. He’s cute, expressive without the mask. All the scars you could feel under your tongue last night are on clear display now, only adding to his roguish charm.
Johnny’s tongue rolls over your slit and you jerk your hips. He shifts his grip, runs his hands up your thighs and around to grip your ass, pulling your cunt against his mouth as he sucks on your clit. Ghost ruffles his hair, settling a knee on the bed and divesting himself of his towel. He holds his cock in his hand giving its soft length a few lazy strokes.
You stretch against the bed, pulling his tee up to show off your tits. Johnny turns his head to nip at the inside of your thigh, grabbing your attention back as Ghost watches. You tug at Johnny’s hair, feel him groan, watch his brows knit together as he sucks at the soft skin of your thigh. He pulls back with a wet pop, rolls his tongue over the bruised skin, and drags his tongue the rest of the way back to your cunt.
“Pretty girl,” He coos at your pussy, “did you miss me?” Giggles bubble out of you, stifled by the wet swipe of Johnny’s tongue. You squeeze one of your breasts with your free hand, bite your lip at the sucking kisses pressed along your slit. Broad licking strokes turn into targeted swirls of Johnny’s tongue around your clit. Tracing his name you think, the curl of his tongue, the wanton groan. His mouth is like a furnace laying its heat over you, winding you up without pushing you over the edge. He presses the wet muscle into your hole, pushing close to wiggle it against your clenching walls. 
You glance at Ghost, his cock flush and pretty, standing at attention. He drags scarred knuckles up and down its length, squeezing the head so precum dribbles down his fingers. There’s a soft pink tinge trailing down his chest, barely hidden by the blond swirls of hair that cover him. Ghost tips his head to watch you, you roll your nipple between your fingers, pinching hard as Johnny presses a finger in alongside his tongue.
He licks around his finger, curling the digit to press up against the soft spongy spot near your entrance. Tight heat thrums through you, making you whine. Johnny hums, moving to suck at your clit, parting his lips to slurp at the slick that his pumping finger pulls from you. “Clean up” he’s not doing anything but making a mess of you. Especially when he adds a second finger, that stretch is just perfect for make you squirm back against him. He drags his lips against your pussy, scratching the delicate skin with his scruffy beard, and fucks his fingers into you hard and fast. 
You whine, tug at his hair, squeeze your breast just to have something to hold onto as your hips jump to meet his attention. Johnny pulls back to murmur to you, soft encouragement that hardly reaches your ears. His thumb rubs against your clit, his fingers working your cunt, jabbing pleasure with pinpoint precision until all the tightness and heat that had been building in the pit of your stomach burst.
You screw your eyes shut against the rolling pleasure and tip your head back with a moan. The bed dips behind you and Ghost pats your cheek. You open your eyes to his hard cock poised over your face. You don’t bother looking past it to the man behind the cock, just open your mouth and hold out your tongue for him. The pleased rumble it sends through him is enough warning before he’s feeding you his cock. Your eyes flutter and lid, vaguely you feel Johnny pull his fingers from you, hear the sound of a condom wrapper being opened. 
Ghost gives a shallow thrust into your mouth, testing. You swirl your tongue around the head of his thick cock as he pulls back, sucking to encourage him to go deeper. Ghost seems content to work himself against your tongue, enjoying the way you trace it along his length and hollow your cheeks. Johnny presses his cock against your pussy, slicking himself in your juices. You moan at the feeling, and wiggle your hips to try and entice him. The head of his cock catches against your hole, and he presses into you ever so slightly, just until the tip is in. Stretching you so nicely but still leaving you empty. You whine around Ghost’s cock, the sound quickly melting into choked moans as Johnny grips his cock and wiggles it inside you, stretching your pussy further.
Ghost lets you adjust to the feeling, lets you squirm while Johnny toys with you. He pulls back, rubs the tip of his dick over your lips as you whimper. His cock slips against your lips as he leans forward, and you tip your head further back to try and drag your tongue over his balls. He deserves all the love you can give after last night. You earn a low pleased noise for your trouble, then you hear him talking.
Ghost’s voice is a low rumble, dark and dangerous like you haven’t heard him before. Even when he was dirty talking you, when he had you in every position, he never sounded dangerous. You suppose you don’t know a lot about him, but you didn’t get the sense that he was a violent lover. Now you hear him talking to Johnny and realize that might just be a kindness he extends to you only.
“Fuck ‘er properly or I’ll send ya back half-arsed,” He growls. You feel Johnny’s cock twitch, before he sinks into your cunt, filling you properly. He doesn’t stretch you as wide as Ghost did, but it still makes your back arch, heat ripping through you at suddenly being filled. He hits you deep, and you clench around him as he draws back to finally thrust into your cunt properly.
You lap your tongue against the delicate skin holding Ghost’s balls, feeling the coarse hair drag with each lick. The position isn’t the best for this, but you don’t mind. Johnny thrusts into you hard and you squeak, your eyes squeezing as you do your best to suck one of Ghost’s balls into your mouth. He tastes like hotel soap, you wonder why he didn’t have you do this last night. He was so focused on your pleasure, you’re not complaining, but it’s not usually the day after that you get a chance to blow the guy that blew your back out.
Ghost settles a hand on your chest, squeezing one of your breasts and pinching the nipple between his fingers. Mirroring what you’d done. The feeling of his rough hands squeezing and molding your skin to fit his grip, the electric pinch to your nipple, makes your skin prickle with warmth. You push your chest into his grip, clench around Johnny’s cock, anything to try and get them to move, to give you more. You’re caught on the edge of motion, teased with hard cocks and calloused hands.
You wiggle a little, shift to see what Ghost’s doing, and catch him holding the front of Johnny’s shirt, speaking in low, low, tones against his ear. Johnny’s face is red, his eyes screwed shut as he hangs his head. Ghost catches your eye and smiles, raising his voice, before releasing Johnny back to his work, “Only job is to stretch ‘er out for me sergeant, try ta keep ‘er from comin’ while you do that.” 
Johnny shakes his head, his ears red as he seems to come back to himself. “Rog,” He grins at you, “Sorry doll, got my orders.”
You open your mouth to tell him that hardly seems fair, but Ghost is quick to silence you with his cock down your throat. You gag at the sudden intrusion and Ghost settles his hand on your throat.
“Had ta ask me ta dae that,” Johnny grumbles, and Ghost pulls back enough to let you spit. He drags the slobber over your lips with his cockhead, pushing back in when you open them. You swirl your tongue around the head again, tasting the salt of his pre-cum before he eases it deeper. You’re able to keep from gagging this time, letting him push down your throat with little resistance.
“Bigger an’ meaner than you Johnny,” Ghost rumbles, and you can’t help the smile that threatens to creep across your lips. His dick reaches far enough past your gag reflex that you don’t need to do more than swallow around him to chase the tickle out of your throat. Ghost groans, and settles a hand on your throat, squeezing himself through your skin. Your lashes flutter. The size of him… God. 
Johnny snaps his hips and you moan, you can feel it vibrate around Ghost’s cock, feel the man press his hand a little more firmly against your throat. Your hands reach for Johnny, he fucks you hard, winds you up with devestating jabs at something aching deep inside you, then stills. Your fingers brush the thick hair on his thigh and his hands catch your wrists, pinning them by your sides, holding you down as he fucks you. Your poor sensitive cunt clenches at the dull battering ache of his cock. He hits you deep and full, stroking heat into you with each drag of his thick cock against your gummy walls.
Your hips jump and squirm, trying to escape the absolute precision jobs of his cock. Johnny may not be as big as Ghost is, but he knows how to use every inch. Your eyes roll back, as he pushes moans and whines out of you. Ghost thrusts into your throat, stifling every sound with his girthy length until the only sound you make is the sloppy sucking slurp of your tongue laving over his cock. 
“Tha’s it sweet’art, takin’ it so well.” Ghost tells you, his voice rumbling through you. The man may as well have swallowed gravel for breakfast. His voice is wrecked just from the sight of you, from the curl of your tongue as he thrusts into your mouth. “Get ‘er close Johnny, play with that pretty little clit,” He orders.
You make a noise of protest and feel the pressure on one of your wrists release. Johnny’s thumb rubs over your clit, his thrusts slowing but losing none of their precision. Actually he pulls out a little, rubbing circles over your clit, sending electricity thrumming up your spine as his cockhead pushes against your g-spot. He works you up at the same time Ghost pushes down your throat and holds you there.
“Just like a toy, eh LT?” Johnny grins. You reach your free hand to push at Ghost’s hip with a whine. He angles his hips, pushing deeper down your throat. You try to take a breath through your nose and gag.
“Got this sweet’art,” Ghost assures, “just a li’le more.” Black is starting the edge your vision, your eyes rolling back at the constant drive of pleasure, the electric prickle over your skin, the tightness in your stomach that seems to creep up and up without release. Johnny swears as you clench hard around him, your chest burning from the lack of air and all your muscles tightening.
The attention to your clit leaves, and Johnny’s pace picks up. His hips slamming against you as Ghost pulls out to watch you sputter and gulp at the air. Thick strands of saliva connect your panting lips to his fat cock. You don’t get a moment to admire the sight of the glistening shine you’d given him, too busy with your back arching as Johnny grabs your hips and buries his cock deep inside you.
Even with the condom you can feel him twitching. His shoulders moving with his breathing as he comes. He gives another short thrust, and another, filling the condom with his spend before pulling out. 
“Fuck,” He groans. Fuck indeed. You whine, turn your head to nuzzle against Ghost’s thick thigh, you haven’t come. This is beginning to feel like a pattern. 
Ghost doesn’t seem to care, his hands hooking under your arms to haul you up against his chest. He positions you on your knees, and slots his spit slick cock between your legs. He rubs the hot, bare, skin against your dripping cunt, driving you mad with each bump of his cockhead against your clit. You lean back against his broad chest, let him wrap his arm around you, part your folds with two thick fingers. Your head drops back against his shoulder feeling his cock prod at your entrance. Thick and delicious even after Johnny had opened you up.
Your lips part as he presses into you, your breath catching in your throat at the stretch as his blunt head breaks you open. He makes you make room for him, the slight burn of the head popping into your cunt sends a shiver through you. You clench around him, and he presses his lips against the shell of your ear. Ghost’s hips rock, easing his cock in inch by devastating inch. When his hips finally meet yours you feel full. Full in a way Johnny couldn’t make you, every inch of you parted and stretched around this giant of a man. He grinds against you and you see stars, you can feel him in your stomach, God you can feel him in your stomach.
You lift up enough to give a solid bounce, though you’re sure you only get halfway up his cock. The motion makes you moan. His cock nestles right against your cervix, the warm ache of it as you move your hips makes your breath catch. You can’t seem to find a wrong angle to fuck yourself back onto him. Which must be the point.
Ghost doesn’t do anything to help, doesn’t do anything to aid the movement of your gentle bounces. It’s actually starting to drive you a little insane. You’re putting in all the work while he stays still as a statue behind you. You reach behind yourself to scratch your nails over his hips, tip your head off his shoulder to try and glance between your legs, see if you can catch a glimpse of his cock pressing against your stomach. 
Instead you see Johnny watching, absolutely transfixed, on the way you bounce on Ghost’s cock. He’s hard again, or still, you’re not sure which, but his cock is hard and he’s got one hand pressed against its length. He’s started to crawl onto the bed after you, one knee bent to hold himself up and the other just starting to creep onto the mattress. Ghost pulls your head back against his shoulder with a firm hand around your neck. 
“Why don’ you clean ‘er up again Sergeant,” He asks, his breath hot where he presses his lips against your temple, “and you, love-” the gears in your brain work overtime to process he’s talking to you, “-you just try to stay still for me. Let me use this pussy like I’m meant ta.” You nod quickly, your chin bumping against his thick fingers. It earns you a low chuckle and a, “Good girl” that makes you clench desperately around his cock.
Johnny crawls forward and bends down to lap at your clit. The feeling makes your hips jerk, too electric, familiar but unfamiliar to your current predicament. You can’t say you’ve ever had a guy eat you out while you were being fucked. You breath comes out shakily, and you try to hold your hips still for Ghost. Easier said than done when the man behind you pulls his hips back and fucks into you hard enough you’re sure the smack of your ass could be heard by the next three rooms. It also forces your hips forward, dragging your clit against Johnny’s tongue. 
Your eyes flutter closed as your back arches. Fuck. Fuck. They may as well be hitting you from both sides. Johnny works his tongue over your clit, while Ghost’s fat cock drags against your walls, pushing against the same sensitive nerves from the back. You’re starting to sweat from the heat of it, your skin prickling as pleasure shivers through you. Johnny pushes forward, drags his tongue around your entrance, around Ghost’s cock as it fucks into you, licking the slick from you as quickly as it coats his lieutenant’s cock.
Warm broad strokes of tongue, hard thrusts from dick that hits every spot you could ever dream of. You’re forced to hold your hips still for no reason other than: you’re not sure whether to rock back into Ghost’s thrusts or try to grind on Johnny’s tongue. Ghost groans into your ear, Johnny groans against your cunt, the sound mixes with your own tight whines and whimpering moans. Someone bangs on the wall, but you can’t help caring. 
Everything is hot and tight in the pit of your stomach. Your orgasm building again from where it had been abandoned by Johnny, stoked by the stroke of Ghost’s cock. It’s too much. Tightening and tightening with none of the usual leg shaking release. You try to force it out, but you can barely breathe through the heavy jabs of Ghost’s cock against your cervix. All you can think about is his dick absolutely ruining you.
Ghost grunts, angles his hips and tells you, “Go on and come on my cock love, come on Johnny’s face.”
It’s all the push you need. Ghost hits something deep and delicious and something snaps. The tightness releases with a gush as all your muscles seem to dissolve into shudders and you squirt on Johnny’s face. He drinks you down greedily, his beard dripping as he ruts his cock against the bedspread. Johnny groans, swears, as he slurps at your clit, and you feel the warmth of his come hit your knee.
Ghost turns your face towards him with the insistence of a man possessed and kisses you. His tongue invading your mouth with the same desperation he fucks into you. Your head spins, your hips squirming with sensitivity as he licks over your tongue and teeth. He pulls back to lick a broad stripe over your parted lips. Your cheeks are pinched, your mouth opened further, and Ghost spits onto your tongue.
“Keepin’ you,” He informs you, holding eye contact as he presses his hips tight against your ass and fills you. There’s no room, you clench around his twitching cock and feel warmth flood your already stuffed cunt. Ghost pulls back, rutting in shallow thrusts as your pussy milks him for all he’s got. His come drips out of you, pulled by the motion, and onto the bed. You can’t do anything but let him use you until he’s finished.
His eyes are like caramel. So sticky you can’t look away. You’ve never been fucked like that, he certainly didn’t fuck you like that last night. You wonder what’s changed.
Ghost pulls out with a sigh. You assume he’s going to let you go, and he does, but only to push you into Johnny’s waiting arms.
You feel a bit like a baby deer clamoring off the bed, your legs shaking with the effort of keeping you aloft. Luckily Johnny is there to hold you up. At least until Ghost sweeps you off your feet and over his shoulder without so much as a grunt of effort. Jesus, how strong is this guy? Johnny jogs ahead to turn the shower on and you’re crowded under the hot stream of water to be cleaned up.
“That was fun,” You tell the boys when you feel like you can say something other that, ‘holy shit I think that changed my life.’ Ghost hums, his fingers much more gentle as he works to clean you up. “What now?” You ask, hoping the answer is breakfast.
“Now? Now we take you back to the barracks and keep ya entertained ‘til your visa runs out.” Ghost tells you with a smile. Johnny grins.
“Welcome to the Special Service pet.”
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wispscribbles · 10 months
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do NOT interrupt, he FINALLY got Ghost to hug him
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wrylu · 3 months
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reading old text messages
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