today on the train home the guy next to me was on his phone and at one point i saw him go on tumblr and he just had like. a normie dash. like it was all photography. of nature and architecture. he was using tumblr the way a heterosexual landscaper for rich people might use instagram. i actually had to watch his screen for a few seconds to be sure it really was tumblr because i was so taken aback by the content he was viewing. this is why algorithmless websites are so beautiful btw because i genuinely didn't know that this side of tumblr even existed. he didn't even so much as scroll past any text posts.
EDIT: look i'm not going to turn off reblogs but i cannot stress enough that THIS WASN'T A HIPSTER BLOG DASH IT WASN'T AN AESTHETIC BLOG DASH IT WAS THE MOST WILDLY GENERIC COLLECTION OF IMAGES YOU HAVE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING OR BEING A QUIRKY FANDOM TUMBLRINA WHEN I SAY "NORMIE" I GENUINELY MEAN "SO NORMAL THAT IT CIRCLES AROUND TO WEIRD". CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME? HELLO?
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once again thinking about jason as duke’s robin. he’s ~4 years younger than jason, and that’s puts him at 8-12 during Jason’s time as robin. that’s prime time to get attached to your local kid vigilante before your own life goes downhill.
and if we try to keep duke’s meeting with bruce in zero year + duke’s age (so he can remember the meeting and hold that conversation with bruce), he has to be around 8. if he starts following batman through the news at that time because of the mess that just happened, the robin he sees is probably jason. I’ve literally connected the dots
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"So tonight we’re gonna chronicle
A story so astronomical"
This was a vision that I had to fulfill, I spent like more than 1 and 1/2 days on this (im excluding the procrastination, if we include it, its 3 days)
basically im combining my two strong brainrots of this month, tgwdlm and npmd, and ngl im actually in love with the results
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"justice league doesn't know batman has kids" and by some freak incident, they end up meeting them all at once, after never having one single sneaking suspicion of batman being a family guy.
you've got every batkid + justice league member in the same room, and bruce tries for a total of 6 seconds to diffuse the situation before giving up.
there's bats left right and centre making completely false claims about how their family came to be, just to stir shit. also purposely trying to ruin batman's 'stoic and mean' reputation as best as they can.
jason and steph are telling everyone that they're all bio kids, and bruce does try and correct that one (some of those kids don't even belong to him in a non-bio way!!) but not before tim pipes up and goes 'well actually it depends what you count as biological, he grew me in a lab'.
dick's taking full advantage of the JL's perception of batman being oh so impressionable in the moment, and is telling stories of his childhood + batman raising his younger siblings, making him out to be the softest guy to ever exist (completely on purpose). cass is nodding along next to him, and making sure whenever she adds a comment that she uses the word 'dad' instead of batman just for the extra domestic flare.
babs and jason are explaining how they all consider themselves bats, in a way that would make anyone believe that they're in a cult. bruce is standing amidst it all, an immovable object, with dick's arm on his shoulder, and damian huddled into his side (ALL for dramatic flare. they need the JL to know that he's. just a guy with kids).
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there's something about nickname drift that always gets me, so it starts like this:
steph call duke a pineapple one time, duke retaliates by calling her aubergine, then he calls her eggplant, then finally just "egg", steph calls him "pine" and eventually just starts calling him different tree varieties
this culminates with duke calling on the comms "this is tree boy paging egg" (babs, who hasn't run day shift comms for a fat second has to be like uhhh come again) this is their little inside joke when its just them and eventually when they run into each other at GothU
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Danny is just a kid ya know? Like he is just a little guy. A baby really. 14? Tiny child! Look at him, he needs to be protected. Someone has to help this poor little dude. I mean he forgets to use his own powers to avoid attacks all the time.
Anyway cut to Batfam not knowing all of Dannys power set cause the lil dingus keeps forgetting he can do that stuff in the heat of battle.
Danny uses his invisibility all the time… to avoid being followed. But in a fight? Oopsies hes too busy thinking of funny one liners to realise he could do that.
Intangibility? Give the guy a break. I mean who calls themselves condiment king. Even he was stunned.
He so rarely actually uses his biggest advantage powers that the League doubt he actually has them. He, like any naive child, trusts them and reported fully on his power set. Instead of just asking him to demonstrate his powers they instead start watching him and try to find evidence of his powers.
At least they know duplication was true since they watched him make a copy of himself to go to the bathroom and not miss any of his fav tv show.
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It’s always struck me as weird that NPMD ends with homecoming and not prom, because as a non-American, isn’t prom the quintessential American high school end trope thing??
Because of this I looked up what the actual difference is and holy shit homecoming takes place at the end of the first semester of the school year????? (Correction: turns out it’s actually around September/October which is roughly the end of the FIRST TERM)
So you’re telling me that not only do Steph, Grace and Pete have to process their trauma but also deal with SCHOOL????? FOR ANOTHER HALF A YEAR??????? AS HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS?????
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Some nerdy prudes headcanons in no particular order:
• Steph is a gamer girl. Her dad bought her the full gamer girl set up with the pink cat ear chair and see-through computer tower for her to just play the sims and stardew valley. Richie and Ruth get her into fortnight.
• Pete gets motion sickness so he reads a book while listening to his girlfriend cuss out 12 year olds.
• Richie made them all a discord server because it's "way cooler and more efficient than snapchat."
• Grace constantly sends Jesus themed gifs into the chat as reactions. Think of the stuff your grandma sends you when she discovered how to use the keyboard on her phone. Exactly. A lot of glittery easter crucifixes.
• Steph convinces Ruth to audition for the next school musical. Ruth gets her first ever lead role. Steph agrees to be in the chorus with Pete to support her.
• Grace forms an Abstinence Club so she can lure more dirty dudes and eat their souls or whatever.
• Pete gets them to play dungeons and dragons with him once. He was the dm. Richie was a dark elf rogue with a complicated backstory. Ruth was a bard that tried to seduce everything that moved. Steph got frustrated with the rules immediately and eventually just had Pete make a character for her. Grace played a real human priest that shamed the entire group for playing the devil's game before storming out after only being there for five minutes.
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