#Terry tried flying!

[cinnbar-bun]

Watching Reality TV With You (Various One Piece Characters x Reader)

Characters: Zoro, Sanji, Trafalgar Law, Luffy, Perona + Mihawk, Nami, Kizaru/Borsalino, Eustass Kidd

A/n: Sorry I’m a huge fan of Real Housewives so take these silly headcanons!!!

Note: GN reader, the relationships with the character(s) and reader can be seen as platonic/romantic depending on what you prefer :) Mihawk + Perona’s relationship to each other is also not stated just for your personal preference. These are all just very silly things, don’t take this too seriously since it’s crack!

Zoro

“The hell? Why are you watching this crap? It’s not even real!”

He just sighs and grumbles about how this is dumb the whoooooole time.

Tends to sharpen his swords or try and nap while it’s on.

Until lowkey he starts peeking a bit like ‘did she just say that?’

Suddenly has opinions on it and tries to deny he’s interested but his eyes are GLUED once they start arguing and the suspenseful music is playing.

“Well, if I was her, I think I’d just kick them. Or maybe cut their car in half.”

Sanji

Opposite of Zoro. The man is probably a bigger fan than you and most likely is reading the gossip online.

It’s your weekly night hangout where he brings snacks and cozy blankets for you two to sit and enjoy while watching.

Gasps audibly and loudly.

He’s both the best and worst to talk about this with because he respects all women and he forgives them for everything, so they all get passes from him.

“Yes she may have talked badly about [name] and stole [name]’s house and maybe crashed a car. But we all do that. We need to show forgiveness. She’s having a tough time- her dress came in the wrong color.”

Law

Like Zoro, he’s very disturbed by the very prospect of reality tv.

But he’ll try. Let it be known he’s trying.

He doesn’t get interested in it but he does try to follow along so he can discuss it with you.

Not gonna lie though he’s the guy who’s focusing on their plastic surgery or illnesses.

Will literally pause the show just to examine what they may/may not have done and if the surgeon botched it up.

Imma just manifest this, he’s prolly a Terry Dubrow stan.

“Who’s your favorite Housewife so far?” “Terry.” “But… Terry isn’t-“ “It’s Terry.”

Unironically would drop a horrible quote from whichever show you’ve been watching and he’d say it so seriously that everyone’s jaw will drop and it takes him a sec for him to realize what he said.

Luffy

Imma keep this short for you- he ain’t looking.

He ain’t caring.

No thoughts.

He only cares when there’s a party and food is being served.

“Woooooah! Look at all that food!!!”

Doesn’t even recognize who is who and will just mindlessly wait for food to come on screen.

Perona + Mihawk

I’m putting this as a two for one they’re my everything <3

You and Perona are the ones who watch it lots. Perona does complain about how much they argue but she loooooves looking at the houses and clothes of the women. Makes comments about wanting to fly first class or visit the beautiful places they go to.

Mihawk is reading.

Perona is biased as hell and only defends the people that are wearing cute clothes. Otherwise? Shit list.

“Ugh! What is that dress?! It’s so hideous!” “Is that all you’re focusing on?” “I agree with (Y/n), Perona, she just had gotten into some relationship troubles with [name], so I think [name] is wrong.”

You and Perona are gasping and shocked that Mihawk 1) talked and 2) had an opinion on this???

Turns out the man had been listening the whole time (he’s quite the multitasker).

If Perona is the most biased viewer, Mihawk tries to remain objective and impartial. He's always listing out the nuances of a conversation.

“I think [name] is just jealous.” “Well, if we remember in season 4, episode 14-“

He’s a smart ass sometimes, but it’s okay, he’s our smart ass.

Perona is always enthusiastic about marathoning the shows again and watching it. She tends to do dress up requirements for watching it.

Nami

I’d hesitate to call Nami a “fan” of reality shows.

She’s aware of them, yes. Does she particularly care for it? Nah, not really.

They’re more background noise and eye candy for her.

She just likes putting them on and glancing every once in a while to gaze at the beautiful houses and trips.

“Oh that’s so expensive… imagine what you could do with all that!”

Sometimes has a fun game for herself to estimate the cost of an outfit, accessory, or house. It’s scary how accurate and detailed she can get with it.

Tends to mostly focus on fashion and get new ideas to steal- I mean, incorporate.

Doesn’t have strong opinions on the cast, but she isn’t too crazy about the louder members.

Kizaru/Borsalino

He’s heard of it, he thinks.

And, well, since you’re so into them, he’ll give it a watch.

“Oh my, these ladies are incredibly wealthy and beautiful.”

He’s not even ogling them he’s just amazed at the way they dress, behave, and/or decorate their spaces. It’s almost like being starstruck???

The guy who will pause the tv at certain scenes to point at random decorations or outfits and be like “darling, would you like that?”

He does get sad when they start to fight.

“Aw… I was just liking the party… why are they arguing now?”

His favorite cast member is your favorite one <3 he’s just a cheerleader like that, dear.

He could listen to you talk about it for hours if you wanted, and he’d be amazed by your knowledge.

“You know, if you’d like for me to have you be on a show like this, I could probably pull some strings!”

Kidd

1000000x worse than Zoro

I cannot recommend putting it on in front of him.

“The hell is this shit?! Turn it off!”

You refuse and now he’s stuck watching grown women argue over dumb things (in his mind).

Complains the ENTIIIIRRRRE time. Nonstop commenting and complaining.

Okay but he’s hooked after a bit, the drama is just too good.

But now he’s WORSE cuz he’s got OPINIONS and THEYRE ALL SHITTY!

This man is an instigator. I swear to god he’s just saying shit just to rile you up and be contrarian.

He's stanning the biggest menaces on the show.

You two will probably get into (very silly) arguments about some of the situations and people.

And unlike say, Sanji, who tries to defend a person, Eustass will just say you’re wrong and then add something unhinged to it.

“Naw you just don’t get it. If I was her, personally, I think I’d just burn their mansion down and then slash their tires.”

[raya-hunter01]

Not My Sister's Keeper Pt. 11

Not My Sister’s Keeper

Roman X OC(Kara)

Jey Uso X OC (Tia)

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut; sex, fluff, couple arguing, Jealousy, infidelity, pregnancy

Roamn’s wife recently left medical school and returned home to save her marriage. Upon her return, she finds out things are not what they seem. Her sister is pregnant by her best friend Jey Uso, who is also Roman’s cousin, and her husband is acting suspicious.

What happens when a conversation overhead on a baby monitor blows her world apart?

Pensacola, FL

Kara’s POV

After my requested Jey didn’t say anything. I could tell he was not expecting that, but I needed to tell my dad what was going on. He deserved to know and not by a phone call or seeing it on the news.

“Are you sure?”

“Not really, but I know it’s what I need to do.”

“Then I’ll take you.”

The next thing I knew, we were back on the highway heading to my parents.

I felt overwhelmed, as so many things I had long buried, flooded back to the surface.

“I remembered my mother having that man in my dads house,” I said so quietly that Jey almost didn’t catch it.

“What? While you were there?” Jey asked in disbelief as I nodded almost playing everything over in my mind.

“He was so devastated, and angry when he found out Tia was his. In remembering it now, all I can think about is how almost the same thing almost happened to us, Jey.”

“But it didn’t lau pele, you found out before it was too late.” Jey said kissing my hand.

I didn’t say anything else, my mind was too busy trying to play catch up, and wondering how I was going to react when I saw my mother.

I wanted to be calm, but I felt my anger rising as we pulled into my childhood home, remembering all the lies.

The realization that the hell I went through with Tia all my life, my mother allowed her to do it because she needed Tia to keep her secret.  It all made sense as to why she defended her always.

 Tia knew about Terry and could blow her world upside down, but hurricane Kara was coming.

----

Kara’s Parent’s House

Jey’s POV

It knew this was going to be bad….Fuck, I knew it was and I couldn’t stop it. I promised I wouldn’t say anything and to only get involved if things went too far. I followed closely behind Kara as she knocks on the front door getting no answer.

“Maybe we should just come back in the morning? It is late baby.”

“The hell we are,” Kara said using her key to open the door and walking inside. “Dad! Where are you?!”

 Yea….This was gon’ be bad.

“What is wrong with you coming up in here screamin’?” Rebecca said coming downstairs as Kara stormed into the living room.

“Your what’s wrong, Dad!” Kara yelled as her mother tried to shush her. “Be quiet he’s upstairs trying to unwind, what’s got you all upset stormin’ through here like a tornado?”

“Terry Kendall, the bastard you had layin’ up in my daddy’s bed…. You know Tia’s daddy… Dad!!!” Kara screamed walking away from Rebecca who stumbled back a few steps in shock.

“Wait..Wait don’t do this Kara, don’t hurt him. Kara, please.” Rebecca cried as Kara waved her off unfazed by her tears.

“Like you’ve been hurting him?” Kara asked picking up and throwing their family portrait that had been hanging over the mantel. “What the hell are you doing?!” Rebecca screamed dodging the flying portrait before it landed at her feet.

“Lies…Just lies..All of this shit is lies!” Kara yelled turning back to the mantel knocking every framed picture off the mantel. Grunting in anger and frustration as one by one they crashed to the floor, glass shattering everywhere.

“Kara! Calm down and let me explain. Don’t tell him, please,” Rebecca begged as I saw Bill at the top of the stairs.

“What the hell ya’ll got going on down here?” Bill asked jogging down the stairs as Rebecca blocked Kara from walking towards him by grabbing her arm.

“Get yo’ hands off me,” Kara hissed as I jumped in between them. I knew what was about to come next if I didn’t get Kara. Rebecca was about to meet a different side of her daughter.

“Aye, she came to talk to her dad. Now let her talk and don’t touch her,” I warned as she took a step back.

“Talk to me about what?…….What’s wrong baby?” Bill asked as Rebecca grabbed his hand, pulling him into a hug as Kara looked at me not believing the gall of her mother.

“It’s nothing baby go back upstairs, and I’ll be up in a minute. Kara’s still upset about tonight and I was trying to calm her down.” Rebecca said, as Kara scoffed.

Oh, she really gon’ hold on to the lie until the very end. Yea, Tia gets it honestly.

“Tell him mama, and I mean all of it.” Kara demanded as Bill pulled away from Rebecca as she tried to hold on to him for dear life.

“Don’t do this Kara, just leave with Josh, go home.” Her mother pleaded.

“I ain’t doing nothing! I’m actually giving you a chance to tell him the truth because Tia decided to let her therapist in on your little secret and they reported it!” Kara yelled as Rebecca gasped shaking her head.

“Told what secret? Anybody gon’ tell me what the hell going on?”

“No, Tia didn’t…She wouldn’t.”

“Oh, yes, she did and I’m sure by the end of the week it will be all over the news. So, you betta get to talking.”

“Since she won’t tell me, you tell me,” Bill said gently pulling Kara towards him.

“Dad-”

“Bill don’t do listen, it’s nothing baby,” Rebecca said trying to pull Bill back towards the stairs.

“I tried to talk to you, but you obvious hidin’ something so now I’m talkin’ to my daughter,” Bill hissed snatching away from Rebecca as she tried to stop Kara from revealing her secret.

“The judge that was in charge of the trial is Tia’s biological father. Mama has been lying to you all these years, Tia isn’t your daughter,” Kara blurted out as Rebecca reached over to slap her, but I stepped in front of her catching her hand.

“Jey, let her do it! I been on pause, cause she my mama but she can get it, let her go! Let her do it!” Kara screamed as I grabbed her, trying to create some distance between them.

“Aye, you ain’t fightin’ and you betta keep yo’ hand to yourself before I let her go.” I warned Rebecca.

“She had no right, Josh!” Rebecca screamed as Bill seemed to be in shock. I couldn’t blame him, everything he has known to be true was a lie.

“I had no right?! You really trying to make me the bad guy in your bullshit!”

“You had no right Kara!”

“No! You had no right lyin’ to us all these years. You had no right sleepin’ wit that man in the bed you shared with your husband.”

“Ah, shit,” I mumbled knowing it was about to get worse.

 “And you damn sure had no right going to him to get the charges against Tia reduced.” Kara said unfazed by her mother’s hysterics.”

“Wait? You had this motherfucker in this house, layin’ in my bed?!” Bill’s voice boomed as Rebecca continued to sob, not believing everything was crashing down around her.

“I-I-”

 “Stop stuttering and tell me!”  Bill shouted making Rebecca jump back in fear.

“Yea, mama, tell him…. Tell him how you wouldn’t let me and Tia in the house when he would come around so ya’ll could have sex.” Kara said casually as her mother paled at the revelation.

“Kara,” I warned seeing the look of anger on her dad’s face growing. He was about to lose his shit and I couldn’t blame him.

“Rebecca! Talk damn it!” Bill yelled as Rebecca collapsed to her knees grabbing his leg.

“Ok! Ok! I admit it! Everything she said is true!” She sobbed as Bill looked down at her in disgust.

Kara’s POV

I told her and I feel bad for causing my dad pain, but he needed to know. He needed to know, there were too many damn secrets around here. No wonder we were all so fucked up.

“I loved ya’ll so much, and didn’t want to lose you Bill,” my mother cried as I rubbed my temples.

“You really did me like this Becks…Me…. Tell me this a joke,” My dad whispered looking at me for answers.

“Dad, they have a DNA results and records of mama taking money from him. It’s real, Mr. Reiner called and told me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, she’s been lying to you and whatever you do with that information is on your choice, but I had to tell you.”

“Bill, I’m so sorry, Tia’s still your daughter. You raised her and she loves you, please understand,” my mother pleaded.

“I guess it’s finally your time to reap what you sowed, huh.” My dad said. His anger boiling at the surface.

“Bill-”

“Tia round here leaving chaos in her wake, leaving you with a child to help raise cause’ she has no mama. Donavan never comes to visit, Kara almost died!! Our daughter almost died at the hands of her sister, who is now in Jail!”

“I love you so much bill and our kids. I’m so sorry-”

“No, you don’t, you had plenty of time to tell me about Tia, but you didn’t. Then you went and ask his bitch ass to help Tia after she almost killed my child….My CHILD! Not yours, MINE!”

“She’s our child Bill, they both are. I swear I never meant to hurt ya’ll. I just couldn’t let her tell anyone!”

"Whatever was necessary to keep your secret, right? Get up off the floor beggin’ like a dog……. Your just as evil as Tia is, matter fact you worse,” my dad said calmy walking towards the stairs as my mother picked herself up off the floor running behind him.

“Don’t walk away from me!” she screamed, jumping in front of him, pulling on his shirt trying to stop him from walking away.

“Get your fucking hands off me!” My dad yelled pulling away from her. “Woman, you gon’ make me hurt you! Is that what you want me to do!” his hands suddenly wrapped around her throat.

 “Dad, No!” I screamed as Jey rushed over to them, pulling my mother behind him as she caught her breath.

“Aye! Calm down, go get your stuff. Bill it ain’t worth it,” Jey said walking with my dad upstairs.

“Bill, where are you going?!”

 “Away from you before I hurt you, and I end up in jail. Sitting up here defending Tia and she really pulled a you on Kara, Roman, and Jey. You make me sick!”

"Dad-"

“I’mma make sure he straight before we leave, don't worry,” Jey said as I headed towards the front door to wait for him in shock. I can’t believe he choked her, but at the same time couldn’t blame him.

Hell, I wouldn’t mind a round or too myself, but I know she’s my mom.

“So, your just gonna leave……I’m still your mother Kara, and I love you.” Her desperate voice almost broke me, but I refused to look at her or give in.

“I love you too, that’s why this hurts so bad mama.” Finally embracing the hurt I allowed my unshed tears to fall.

“We can fix it baby…Just let me, I can’t lose you too.”

“You know what’s so sad mama? You’ve already lost me, and I don’t think we can ever find our way back.” I whispered as Jey and my father came back downstairs.

“You’ll hear from my attorney,” my father said not giving my mother a second glance storming out the house.

“Will you be alright?” Jey asked my mother as she sighed.

 “I ain’t got no choice but to be?” And with that she went upstairs as Jey put his arms around me.

In that moment, I knew I still loved her. She was my mother, but I couldn’t just forgive her, too much damage had been done.

“Let’s go home lau pele .”

“Ok.”

Maybe time would heal some wounds and we could try to move forward, but for right now I was going to focus on my own life.  

------

Three Weeks Later

Hilton Garden Inn, Atlanta, Ga

Jey’s POV

I hated I had to leave Kara and come back to work but she insisted. I tried to call her earlier and we talked a little. She had gone to court today and told me they interviewed her as she left.

Pulling out my iPad I went to the Boston news station’s website.

The headlines were everywhere about the corrupt judge that wanted to save the daughter he never knew. Well, that was the narrative Terry was painting in order to protect Rebecca who had still been trying to contact Kara, but the line of communication was radio silent.

“Damn finally,” I muttered finding the video.

“This is WCVB Channel five news and we’re outside the courtroom where last week not only was corruption exposed but deep family secrets. Local judge Terry Kendall resigned last week after it was brought to light, he showed bias in a court case in which his love child committed a crime against her own sister and said sister’s ex-husband. Terry Kendal’s heart felt apology to Kara Morris was one that moved the courtroom to tears.”

“Should have had jail time too, corrupt ass,” I hissed.

“Judge Kendall, though resigning from his position of power last week was informed today he would be disbarred. Mr. Kendall stated in court today he worked alone and did it on his own accord. The case will now be appointed a new judge and Tia Morris with be resentenced. The new resentencing date can be anywhere up to a year from now, but the defendant will receive credit for time served.  Let’s see if we can get a word with Ms. Morris.”

“A'ight, you had better kept they ass in line Reiner.” I mumbled looking at him and Kara coming down the courthouse steps.

 “Ok, my client will answer a few questions and we ask after this that you respect her privacy.”

“Ms. Morris how are you feeling after today’s outcome?”

“I am grateful that Mr. Kendall stepped up and took responsibility for his actions. I hope he finds peace and his family is ok. I know first-hand what secrets can do to a family.”

I felt proud watching her stand on her own and answer their questions without hesitation.

“Speaking of that, how do you feel knowing your sister’s resentencing and the finding of a new judge could take up to a year?”

 “Uh, knowing that a new judge will be appointed, and the resentencing will happen, I am thankful. I will be patient and respect the process.  Thank you to the city of Boston for ensuring me justice will indeed be served.”

I knew that voice anywhere, it was her customer service annoyed voice. Chuckling, I continued to watch.

“Have you spoked to your mother since you found out that you and your sister don’t share the same father?”  The forced smile on her face making me angry. They just had to fucking go there but before she could respond Riener stepped in.

“No comment, my client has been through enough and has answered your questions pertaining to this case. Her personal life is off limits and with that we bid you all good day,” Mr. Reiner said walking Kara through the crowd of paparazzi.

“Assholes, I can’t believe they ass,” I grumbled. I don’t ask for much, but the one thing I hoped was Kara wouldn’t have to wait a year for justice to be served. If we had to wait, we would but I hoped it would be sooner.

Pulling out my phone I tried to call her but got no answer seeing the time I knew she probably fell asleep, especially after today.

“Hey, just wanted to hear your voice, you did so good during your interview. I love you and I’ll call you in the mor-.”

A sudden knock at the door startled me as I ended my voicemail. Who the hell is it at one in the morning?

“Who is it?!”

“Room service, I have your champagne,” a high pitch voice said as I rolled my eyes walking to the door.

“Aye, I ain’t ordered no room service, plus it closes at ten. So, you can gon’ on shawty and take your champagne wit you.” I said as the person on the other side of the door chuckled.

“Ok, I can just go get a return flight back to Boston then, sir.”

“Kara? ” I asked opening the door as she laughed at me. “Yes, Kara,” she said holding up a bottle of champagne.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, scooping her up in my arms and closing the door.

 “I wanted to tell you in person how proud of you I am, and how much I missed you,” she whispered against my lips.

 “I missed you too,” I whispered feeling the stress of the last few days melting away.

 “You seem so down, what’s wrong?” Kara asked. I hated to tell her I actually didn’t make the finals of the King of the ring tournament.

“I love you for supporting me baby, but they decided to go another way with the tournament,” I said as she caressed my face.

“Well, you won in my book and your fans think the same thing too.  Just hang in there doody and trust the journey.” she said making me smile. She hadn’t called me that since we were kids.

“I’m tryin’ baby, I’m really trying,” I said trying to remain positive. “Just be your amazing self and everything will fall in place.”

“I can’t believe you’re here.” I smiled against her neck holding her close, almost afraid she’d disappear.

“It’s no other place I’d rather be.”

The frustrations of work are long forgotten, Tia, Rebecca, and all the other drama, just a distant memory.

All that existed was us and that was all I needed. Kara was right, my time would come, and I should enjoy the journey.

Matter of fact we were going to enjoy this journey together.

----

One Year Later

Kara’s House

Kara’s POV

“Kara did you get any sleep? You tossed and turned all night.”

“I got a little, I’ll sleep when this over today.”

“Least we can rest after court, mama said she was going to cook for us tonight,” Jey said as I nodded erasing the line I just typed.

I was trying to finish my victim statement to read in court today, but I just felt like it wasn’t coming together.

“Bae, you heard me? Jey asked as I popped my fingers and yawned.

“Ugh, this is so dumb, who comes up with this shit.  I can’t think and I’m just over it. I might not even give a statement.” I ranted as Jey leaned over and kissed me gently on the lips before taking my laptop.

“Let me see what’s got so far, you stressin’.  I told you last night I would help.”

“I didn’t want to bother you with this, you had the show and got in late,” I said as he read what I had written so far.

“Bae, I already know the problem. You trying to sugar coat this shit instead of being you and telling the ugly truth. Tell them and Tia how you feel.”

“If I do that, I will be up there talking all damn day, Jey.”

“So, what, it’s your truth and you need to talk about it.”

“Joshua is right sweetheart,” Mama Fatu said coming into the kitchen and sitting beside me.

“Did you sleep good Ma?” I asked as she smiled holding my hand.

“Like a log, I needed that after the long flight but enough about me. How are you?” she asked as I shrugged my shoulders.

 “I’m fine,” I whispered as Jey kissed his teeth, somewhat annoyed at my dismissal of my feelings.

“She’s tired and stressed out over this victim statement.”

“Kara, you shouldn’t type it, just go in there today and just speak from the heart.”

“I didn’t want to miss anything, so I wanted to type it up and print it Ma.”

“Kara, trust yourself, you got it,” Jey assured me as I tried to shake my nerves.

“Well court is in two hours, so I kind of have no choice now,” I said starting to finally eat.

“Did you talk to your dad?” Jey asked as I smiled.

“Yea, I was on the phone with him while he was at the doctor’s yesterday. The splint is healing fine, but he can’t travel right now.”

“I’m glad he’s doing better, and I know he will be doing even better when he gets this good news today.” Mama Fatu said putting her arms around me in a comforting hug, speaking positivity into the atmosphere.

“Thanks, Ma.”

 Ugh, I knew I needed to get started, but I dreaded today because I knew today was going to be a long ass day.

You got this Kara…. Today all of this ends, go in there and do what you gotta do.

----

A Few Hours Later

Boston Municipal Courthouse.

Rebecca’s POV

I had to be here today for Kara and Tia both. Maybe I could finally talk to Kara and try to get us back on the right track or at least start talking again.

“I could say I'm shocked you're showing your face here, but then again I know you so I’m not surprised, Rebecca.”

What the hell is Josh’s mom doing here? Still trying to swoop in on my baby, I see. She ain’t gon’ rest till my baby is a Fatu and callin’ her Mama.

“Tani don’t start, I saw you swarming around my daughter in there, probably got her calling you Ma n shit too. Just acting like I don’t exist, Josh, up in there acting like her bodygu-”

“Keep my son’s name out your mouth and news flash Rebecca, she has always called me Ma! Where did you think she was going when she would storm outta your house upset damn near four times a week? My house, that’s where.”

“What am I supposed to be impressed because I’m not Tani.”

“No, you’re supposed to care and realize that you were a piece of shit parent and try to make it right.”

“You bitch.” I hissed as Tani chuckled.

“Now let’s not call each other names you gutta snipe.”

“Ugh, look, I ain’t here to fight, I’m just here trying to make it right and be here for Kara. Show her that I am trying, I’m not even gonna bother her.”

“All I know is you better not make today hard for Kara or you’re going to have a problem with me.”

“You know what? Bye, Tani…It was good to remember why I don’t talk to you.” I said pissed off at the fact she even approached me.

“You hurt Kara and I’mma reintroduce myself to you like I did all those years ago.” Tani gloated.

“Ugh, whatever,” I hissed leaving her in the bathroom alone.

I needed to get back inside the courtroom, Kara was giving her statement.

Jey’s POV

Kara was doing great speaking to the court even at times looking at Tia who was having a hard time looking Kara in the eye. Feeling my mother’s hand on my shoulder, I moved to let get her by so she could sit down.

“My sister shot me in the back and tried to kill me. Tia, you hated me that much, you went from wanting to be me, to killing me.”

I cringed at her use of her words, but she was right. I can still see her lying there lifeless and being scared to death as the EMT worked on her.

I am forever indebted to him because he never gave up and he brought her back to me.

 “I say killing me because I stopped breathing…..I stop breathing Tia….. I died as you laughed and taunted Josh to hurt him.” Her voice full of pain as the nodded, somewhat dazing out.

“My lord Joshua.”

“Mama, it’s ok,” I told her as looked at Tia in shock.

“Ms. Morris do you need a moment?” Judge Carlton asked, picking up on the change in her demeanor.

“No, I’m fine.” Clearing her throat, and glancing back at me. “You got this,” I mouthed pointing at her as she nodded before turning back to face the judge.

 “Listening to the joy in your voice as I received medical attention is disgusting and it really drove home two important things for me. You have no concept of consequences or empathy. And your actions have left unforgivable scars, and a beautiful child without a mother.”

“Uh-huh, tell her bout herself,” I muttered filled with pride. She had found her voice and was finally telling Tia and everyone how she felt.

“Your father has owned up to his wrongdoings and took the consequences, which was him being disbarred. Now it’s your turn and I pray justice is swift and befitting of the crimes you committed against Me, Jey, Roman, Trin, and most importantly Logan because she didn’t ask to be here or to be a pawn in your games.”

“Real swift at that, needs life in prison if you ask me,” Trin whispered as I looked back at Rebecca who was in tears.

“Tia, I hope you find peace because I have, and I forgive you. I just can’t forget that because of you I almost lost my life, I lost my mother, and I lost you, my sister.”

Rebecca, sobbing in the back of the courtroom was irking me to no end.

“I know that it doesn’t matter either way to you, so I’m ending this by letting you know that I wish you well, but it’s my time to take back control of my life.”

She had done it.... She spoke from her heart and conquered her fear.

“That woman got the nerve to sit on this side of the courtroom after all she’s done. She’s just as guilty as her daughter, now back there fake crying,” my mother hissed lowly glancing back Rebecca.

“Order in the court please we don’t need any whispers, I know it's been a long day but we are almost done,” Judge Carlton said as my mother zipped her lip and held up her finger.

“Not you confessing it was you with the church finger, Ma. That judge didn’t even know who did it. I got to teach you betta,” Trin chuckled as I joined in.

I love my folks, we gon’ clown at the craziest time.

“Chill ya’ll,” Roman whispered as my mother scoffed. “Boy, I’m grown and since we talkin’ you shoulda’ kept your lil peta in ya’ pants. Still pisses me off that you did that to Kara and you lucky she’s being cordial to you.”

“You did so good baby,” I told Kara giving her a hug.

“I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Thank you, Ms. Morris, for sharing. This case, though not easy, should have never gotten this bad but I pray you all find peace as justice is served. Will that being said will the defendant please rise.”

Kara’s POV

It was like everything was moving in slow motion as the judge reviewed the charges and talked about the video evidence, he had reviewed. We had traveled this road before, but I knew a better outcome was on the horizon this time.

“Tia Morris I am hereby sentencing you to thirty-five years at the Boston’s Women’s prison with the possibility of parole in twenty-five years. Your no contact order with your sister Kara Morris will also still be in place.

“Thank god,” I sighed, happy it was finally over as my mother and Tia’s cries filled the courtroom.

“No….No, it can’t be!” Tia cried as Judge Carlton banged on his gavel.

“Order in this court room! Young lady, I already find your behavior sickening as is and I’m not going to deal with your clown behavior. Get yourself together and I mean now.”

“My client is just a little upset your honor,” her lawyer said as Judge Carlton rolled shook his head. “Well, it’s about time your client realizes actions have consequences.”

“I’m sorry for that your honor,” Tia said as her lawyer shook his head in embarrassment.

“He told her ass off,” Jimmy said with a smirk as Ma Fatu hit him on the knee. “Why you talkin’ so loud, and watch your mouth,” she scolded as Trin shook her head.

“Ma, you just did the same thing.”

“We as parents have to wake up and teach our children right from wrong. Correct them, and don’t put ourselves in situations that can alter not only their lives but those they come in contact with.”

“You said a word then,” I said agreeing with the judge from firsthand experience.

“Your secrets become their secrets. Their hurt from your secrets is projected upon others, ensuring chaos to follow. What is done in the dark will always come to light. So, take responsibility, be a parent and think before indulging in your desires. This court is adjourned.”

“That’s it?” I asked looking at Jey as he smiled. “That’s it baby.” His confirmation releasing a huge weight off of my shoulders as I saw my mother walk towards Tia but stopped herself and walked out the courtroom.

“Well, that was interesting,” Trin said as I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know what it was, but I ain’t got time for it Trin. I’m just tired.”

It was over….It was finally over, and I could finally breathe.

Whatever my mama had going on it didn’t concern me, it’s my time to live my life now.

Next step…. Graduation and deciding where I’m going to do my residency.

Rebecca’s POV

“Tia, I’m sorry sweetie.”

“It’s fine, we’ll just go with the plan, in trying to get me transferred to Pensacola so you won’t have to travel far, and maybe I can see Logan.” Tia said as I looked at her in shock.

Now she wanted to see Logan…What was bringing on this new attitude?

“It’s a good possibility your attorney can get it done under compassionate reasons. Hopefully, he can get it approved and get you back to Florida.

"That’s all I want mama, to be close to you and Logan. You and Logan are all I have left. I will sign over my rights to Roman if he agrees to let you bring Logan to see me. The prison in Pensacola has a family center inside and it looks very welcoming so Logan wouldn’t be scared to come visit.”

“Well, I am glad you are finally getting it together baby. I will get with your lawyer and see what we can get done.”

“Thanks, mama…I promise I won’t mess this one up.”

I wanted to believe her, but I had a nagging feeling this was going to end bad.

“I know you won’t baby…Just hold on and we’ll get you back to Pensacola.”

I hope this doesn't blow up in my damn face.

Taglist:

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[authenticaussie]

Alright so I just finished Batman:TAS recently and started watching Superman:TAS and it delights me that the first episode is literally just: superman??? Who dat. This is aliens :)) (even if Brainiac does say "human error, Jor-el"). So obviously I do now have aus. Obviously <3 shout-out to @midnightluck for the Justice League, @cer-rata for Terry and @suzukiblu for Jordan + putting up with the initial ramble

So anyway Brianiac's satellite upload gets fucked up by Jor-el either in petty revenge or as an accident, and a part of Brainiac ends up on Clark's ship. The vague explanation I have is that Brainiac is the AI for everything and in TAS, Jor-el also does not realise he is "evil" and thus still uses his help as a navigator for Clark's ship while he is initially building it. The ship, however, is offline to prevent the Kryptoninan council from finding out about it, and thus, that section of Brainiac does not get taken back into the satellite upload.

As it is BARELY the 90's when the Kents find Clark after the crash, Brainiac is summarily useless thanks to the current lack of wifi, but manages to mostly teach himself English and Kal kryptonian, and decides that. >:( since they're BOTH there, they can BOTH be vestibules of kryptonian knowledge. And also Kal can get him more earth knowledge. The vibes entirely are: "Weird aspects of kryptonian culture taught by an unbodied dickhead historian" and while the argument is "but brainiac is evil!" Main brainiac is. But this is a subsection of Brainiac :) he learnt more stuff + Clark loves him soooo much.

Unfortunately. That is His baby now. He is not impressed with his baby. His baby bought him a growing chick the other day, with big sad eyes, and said the kryptonian word for fluffy!!! in such a mournful tone that Brainiac resigned himself to teaching kal about how growing up worked and that the chicken needed feathers to fly. This explanation ends with Clark collecting feathers and trying to jump off the barn roof, and he thus resolves to extend further co-parenting issues to the Kents. For his own personal convenience, of course.

It does of course ALSO mean that Brainiac, who has a loose definition of the words "surveillance state" absolutely gets in at the ground floor when the internet first starts up. Clark's influence relegates him to the background, but he is good at hiding ! So they don't realise they have an AI in the wifi! But ohhhh boy does brainiac scare a few people at first. Potentially tries to do his "i am helpful" schtick before realising he is not useful in this because he's basically just. Seems completely like a troll? He's some random person who's invaded the internet!!

However he is also the inspiration for google 😂 and calls it his younger, stupider sibling. It is also funny to me to think about earth compsci engineers having NO idea why sometimes the internet acts SO DAMN WEIRD <- brainiac's fault.

As a result though, when Clark starts up as Superman, Brainiac does NOT let the Kr project off the ground. Files are misdirected and blackmail is gathered. Until one day Kal says something sad about how he'll never be able to have a great romance, because he's terrified of telling anyone the alien thing, and that he's always thought about kids but he's kinda terrified because what if he hurts someone- and Brainiac is like ah yes wait. I shall fix this for my Only Kryptonian.

TWO kids for the price of one?!? he finds, after he goes searching, and then further prodding finds THIRTEEN children, extraordinary. Not all of them are viable because the earth scientists truly are incapable but Brainiac can fix the issues with their technology to ensure Kal has the children he wants.

"How many children did you think of, kal-el?" he asks, and Clark laughs at how kindly his friend/uncle/grandfather figure treats his silly selfishness.

"Oh, man, sometimes I think: as many as I can carry! But then- I don't want Superman to get in the way of being a good dad. Too many and I won't be there for them like I should, you know? I worry about that, I guess."

"As many as you can carry is a significant amount," Brainiac says dubiously, already imagining teaching these numerous children kryptonian culture and Also that they are Not chickens. "I do not think that can be fulfilled effectively."

Five minutes later Clark has five children and has realised his matchbox apartment and budding romance with Lois Lane are both complicated things he will now have to resolve. He's basically commuting daily to the Daily Planet from Smallville, thank god for superspeed and his endlessly patient parents, jfc

(Children I was thinking of: the destablised kon!clone from SB94/The Ravers, Kon, Match, Bizarro, and Mia. Alternatively they went old-school with Biz so Brainiac didn't get a chance to help him/he's older than the other kids when Clark finally mentions wanting kids, to Brainiac, and thus Biz ends up like. The kids' uncle. There ARE technically twelve clones before Kon. I could've given you thirteen-fifteen kids, Clark.)

Anyway this does mean that either a) when Lois finds out Kal is superman this is not his biggest secret, b) Kon rocks up as Superboy and Lois, once she finds out Clark is Superman, immediately goes: WAIT BUT SUPERBOY'S YOUR KID. ARE YOU MARRIED??? or c) everyone at the Daily Planet thinks Clark just. Got really unlucky with different people he slept with and someone in the world's wildest stroke of luck they all ended up pregnant. Because Clark Does Not mention a partner when it is eventually revealed he has kids.

He probably does keep them a secret for a while though. A) He doesn't want them to have to try and be "normal" since they're only just out of the pod and B) I feel like, weirdly, Clark is somehow that co-worker that people like. barely know anything about. You like them and they're so helpful! and good-natured! and then you get him in the office secret santa and realise you're not even 100% what his favourite colour is or if he has a pet.

Anyway, Lois: he is NOT expecting Lois to get pregnant and they have to have a Long talk about it because Brainiac is. :) Being an asshole about species compatibility and the fact that it is "not natural" for Kryptonians to be created biologically rather than properly, in a pod, and also: Clark already has five freaking kids. That's a lot of kids! Are they going to be okay having a brother that much (at least five-ten years I'm thinking, depending on if we go: Brainiac gives him multiple children of multiple ages, or multiple young children of the same age,) younger than them??? And then there's Chris, too, who rocked up just after Clark and Lois started dating, and is still pretty high needs because he only mostly speaks Kryptonian (and is lowkey terrified of Brainiac, so Clark's main babysitter is out) (also please please imagine how freaking cute the subplot of "chris realises this brainiac is not the nightmare his stories told him about; watching his new siblings do things that Brainiac would have killed them for, terrified for them because he heard the stories of how long Brainiac bided his time--)

But this is also: how many kids can we give clark, the fic, and thus they have Jon, and then Jon exhibits so many kryptonian characteristics and Lois doesn't mean to but she's a little wine drunk and says, "i love them, you know, they're all perfect, Jon's perfect, I was just- I'm terrified for him. If we raise him right he's gonna be just like his dad…and you know what? I was wanting my own little Lane. Someone to follow my footsteps. I'm feeling a bit outnumbered here, haha!"

Brainiac: hm. I will amend this. (Makes and artificially grows human!Jordan so he displays more human genetic characteristics As Lois Wants)

Brainiac: I have created Jon-el's twin for you, Lane. You are welcome.

Lois: um what

Clark: honey no you can't talk about children with Brainiac he will make more

Lois: WHAT.

Lois: OUR CO-WORKERS KNOW I DIDN'T HAVE TWINS, KENT.

Clark: …. you're gonna have to be one of those weird "I didn't know I was still pregnant" stories…. 😂

Lois: 😭 Clark you know those are only funny when they are NOT HAPPENING TO ME

Clark: you didn't know you were pregnant….. literally

Lois must engage in the gaslighting of all of her coworkers <3 What do you mean you didn't realise she had twins she's shown you both of them? Of course they look the same they're babies. Of course she always had twins. She carried them. Did you carry her babies? Of course she would know. Isn't that right, Clark? …. isn't that right, Clark?

Clark: "Where else would she'a gotten a baby from, guys? An alien?"

Brainiac: hello i have delivered the child. Where is my thanks? It has still not been conveyed? I am doing the Literal Best as the Literal Best AI ever? Excuse me? You ignore Brainiac?

Brainiac: death for one thousand humans-!!!

Martha: 🥰 Brainiac I'm so proud of you for always making sure these kids are taken care of. Giving us Jordan! Oh, you marvellous robot

Brainiac: …. acceptable, Matriarch Kent

either that or Lois shoots herself in the foot and everyone thinks Clark is STILL the man with the world's worst luck and the strongest genetics ever:

"Lois, honey…how are Jon and Jordan so close in age? If they're not twins?"

"Uh- Jordan is adopted!"

Everyone: looks at Jordan, who is Jon's splitting image

Everyone: …..okay

Anyway because this AU is wildly cliche, very obviously the Bit of Brainiac that helped Clark grow up re-integrates with Brainiac prime during a Big Dramatic Battle where all of the Superfam are getting hurt, and manages to stop/halt Brainiac prime from hurting Clark and the Kryptokids at the cost of his existence.

Jordan gets to punch it in the circuits cause he's the only one not affected by kryptonite but still has the general invulnerability. (And then Jon and/or Kon and meeting the LoSH and they realise their grandfather Brainiac has very much been continued in Brainiac 5's code :3 for an open-ish happy ending of "hey good exists forever and always regardless of heritage")

GRANDPA LEARNS LOVE AND AFFECTION.

GRANDPA CHANGES FROM GENERAL SELF SERVICE AND SELFISHNESS AND REALISES HE LOVES KAL AND THE KENTS AND HE WILL PROTECT THEM

GRANDPA ALSO WANTS ACCESS TO THE INTERNET. There is a constant battle and it does work for a while because he is elected babysitter of the kryptokids and he is only a small part of Brainiac, five kids does stretch the circuits he developed from Clark's pod, but it's a constant cycle.

"Kal-el, son of house of el, I demand google, I have not finished investigating the 'man of Bats'. Why are there two variations of his name?"

"You mean Dark Knight?"

"THERE ARE THREE? KAL-EL, PROVIDE ME WITH THE WIFI IMMEDIATELY--"

Also when Brainiac finds out that Clark's birthday falls on a human holiday he. He tries. He tries to do pranks. Most of them are vaguely and accidentally evil (Chris cries when Brainiac takes over the internet for the day and makes every search engine answer questions wrong), but he tries. He knows Clark likes pranks! He is trying to participate! It's family bonding!!!

Braniac: It is your 33rd April fool's day.

Clark: Yep!

Braniac: I have finally decided to assist you with a prank.

Clark:...oh?

Braniac: Behold! (Small boy with dark hair, blue eyes and a square jaw walks in, dressed in a decent little suit.)

Clark: Braniac you CANNOT keep making...Wait. No. No you didn't--

Braniac: A prank to share with your closest friend!

Braniac: I have been calling him "Bruce" for my records, but you may want to pick something else for clarity.

Clark: 😦😳😬💀

(And thus we have Terry)

Also, while Clark is pretty secretive about his kids, when/if any of them go out with a Superfam name, and/or after he gets closer with the Justice League, there are little slip ups. He does really love his kids!!! And at the point where he's joined the JL he's been with Lois for a few years now and is used to mentioning them every now and then at the Daily Planet/trauma sure does bond you together :) and he trusts the core members of the JL pretty well. Someone makes fun of Bruce for his "hoard" of children and his "adoption problem" and Clark snorts and then chokes. Bruce has barely adopted Tim and/or has only just gotten Cass. Four? Please, Clark's almost at double digits.

Or Hal is talking about the fact that he doesn't know what to get his niece for her birthday; Clark asks how old she is, and goes "Seven? Oh, yeah. Go for Monster High, it's really big right now. The dolls are pretty cool."

"Lol why do you know so much about dolls, you have a secret collection-"

"What? No, my daughter likes them."

Hal:

Barry complains about how many birthdays he has to go to and Clark laughs. "Oh, tell me about it! Mia, Mark ((Match)), Chris and Mara all had birthday parties for their school friends in the same week - thank god for superspeed, right?"

Barry, who was talking about volunteering to visit kids' birthday parties at different orphanages in Central: Clark what are you talking about.

Also, Clark's an idiot and decides to introduce Brainiac's "prank" to Bruce on the watchtower because hey! It's neutral ground! And none of his kids can hear into space, thank fuck.

Clark: so....Bruce....you know how you were complaining about being an empty nester. Now that Damian's gone to college. Well. Hm. (pulls Terry from behind him) Surprise!

Bruce: .......You have a new child.

Clark: er. Well. sort of!

Terry, staring at Bruce like the autism creature: O_O

Bruce: .....I have a new child.

(also probably terry's backstory then includes some amanda waller induced kidnapping and potentially a bit of amnesia and adoption by another family but hey, he finds bruce again eventually!)

(also match does try and be the badboy of the family and does hang out with thad, when thad comes up to kill Bart, but. they both just. accidentally vaguely rehabilitate each other? They're not good, but they don't murder, at least. It's a low, low bar. When Clark tries to disappointed-face him, Match just says he's following in Grandpa Brainiac's footsteps and does Clark REALLY expect him to disregard a family legacy-- and you can give him some suicide squad angst or whatever, but the fam is still. there for him.)

(Mia and Kara get into a fist fight when they first meet; then they are best friends. Mia's not great at 'being Kryptonian', especially because she was one of the first attempts, and as per canon is technically a human who they tried to overwrite with Kryptonian DNA, and thus doesn't entirely understand Kara's connection to their 'home', but as a result she also ends up being Kara's confidant in it, because unlike Kal she does understand being taken away from your home and not being able to go back to it, and yet does not have...the same connection the way the other members of the Superfam do, and the disconnect allows Kara to actually talk about Kyrpton instead of mourn)

(Kon does try and grab the spotlight; Clark is trying to let him have freedom, after both Mia and Match went a bit....bitey at his attempts to keep them safe until they were older, but he's still the more naive of his siblings. Thankfully for Clark, he does get to introduce Kon to Robin, and while they don't hit it off, it is enough to mitigate the worst of the fallout of Rex's sleazy bs and Knockout's crimes ): When he joins YJ Clark is both proud of his heroism and a little scared that one of his kids is actually deciding to follow in his footsteps.)

(Mara is Kon's destabilised clone, from when he learns about paul westfield. We did not have enough girls in this family and thus part of their journey of self-identity was the fact that in a family of loud personalities they weren't great at speaking up; it takes a while for them to admit they want a new name and to use she/they pronouns, but by the time Jon and Jordan are five everyone's used to the change. Mara and Kon are closest, even though Kon and Mark/Match are technically sort-of twins; they clash waaay too much in temperament and personality. Kon was much better at playing protector to his little sibling, especially after they came out, and Mara shares "Supergirl" with Kara - she's only a backup member of the titans, though, and has the compassion and strength for heroism but sometimes too much empathy. Does a lot of relief work and peaceful outreach programs. They love a lot.)

(Chris?? no self sacrifice here!!! He has a bunch of fucking siblings with TTK, he is NOT going into that portal)

(There are two Nightwings; every now and then they debate who should switch to Flamebird, jokingly, and yet both of them have perfectly valid arguments - it's kryptonian! / I look good in blue! - and thus it never comes to fruition. When Mia and takes on Flamebird they give it up entirely; it helps that Chris ends up doing a lot of intergalactic work, so there isn't much confusion on earth with the call sign.)

When Jon is old enough to want to switch from Superboy he 100% puppydog eyes Chris into giving him the Nightwing handle so he can give it to Dami, and snags Flamebird from Mia. Dick decides he can live with that and is trying to take care of his own kid so is semi-retired (and can snag it back from Dami if he ever gets too bored).

For a bit there are def still two Flamebirds, but then Mia and Chris decide to team up for intergalactic stuff and to bully Mara into more fistfights, so then they're Trio and just go by Mar-El, Lor-Zod, and Mi-El. I know that is not how female names work on Krypron but I also think Lois Lane, who kept her name and also gave both Jon and Jordan her last name, hyphenated, heard of that shit and went "absolutely not". Either that or Mara decides to keep her Kryptonian name as Mar-El and Mia is Mia Kal-el, or copies her mom and is like naw Fuck This, especially considering her.....lack of general connection to Krypton? Could be fun for any :3 (Or maybe in space she just goes by Lane; time for her semi-mom to get recognition. Mara is already showcasing the house of El, Chris is rehabilitating the house of Zod, she's gonna kick butt for the house of Lois.)

....Though this does potentially mean i have accidentally called Match "Mat-el" and the Barbie jokes from that. Would be. Iconic.

Anyway that's the Grandpa Brainy au! Tune in next week when I force Cerata to watch Arthur and the Invisibles with me and start talking about bug-prince Kon-el and Lois' adventure to save her husband from a tiny evil overlord.

[fictionalcharactersaremypassion]

Uncle Mickey's Hair Braiding Adventure

“Franny!” Debbie called, pouring some coffee in a thermos. “Come here so I can do your hair!” Turning back to the pitcher, she said to Mickey, who was seated at the table, “You want some more?” 

“Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “Already had two. Ian’ll have my balls if he sees me have another.” 

“Thought he already had them?” She said idly, a small smirk peeking out. 

Mickey rolled his eyes. “Fuck you and fuck your brother for being in this health kick. If he tries to take me some fucking yoga class, I’ll knock his teeth out and shove them up his ass.” 

“After he shoves his dick into yours?” She said innocently. 

Mickey held up a clear middle finger. 

“Whatever,” she said, unfazed. Taking another mouthful of coffee, she quickly swallowed. “Franny, let’s go!” 

“I’m coming, Mama!” Franny skipped into the kitchen, her hair loose and flying every which way. 

“Sweetie....” Debbie sighed. “Now I have to comb your hair again.” 

“Oops,” Franny said with a giggle. Mickey couldn't help but grin at his adorable niece. 

Debbie didn't think it was so adorable. “Take a seat and I'll be right back, okay?” 

“Okay, Mommy,” Franny watched her go upstairs, immediately barreling into Mickey with a beam. “Hi, Uncle Mickey!” 

“Hi, Franny,” he scooped her up, letting her sit on his knee, one arm around her so she didn't fall off. 

“Mommy says I have to go to school today but I wanna stay with you and Uncle Ian!” She said enthusiastically. “Can I?” 

“You don’t wanna do that, kid,” he had to chuckle at the face she made. “Your Uncle Ian’s real boring. He'll probably make you read or some shit,” he paused. “Or eat broccoli.” 

“Eww!” Franny said loudly. 

“Ay, not so loud,” Mickey tickled her stomach. She squealed, squirming in his lap. “Your boring uncle’s trying to sleep. Don't wanna wake him, okay?” 

Her laughter tapered off, and she leaned back against his chest. “Okay!” 

This was still kind of surreal for him, not just being married to Ian but to have a family that was actually there for each other. Franny meant a lot to him, and it kind of freaked Mickey out at first when she started coming to him for hugs and shit. Wasn’t like he was used to little kids. There’d been Liam when he was much younger but Mickey didn’t interact with him a ton. Back than, his focus was on Ian and ensuring he was cared for. 

Debbie came back down, her footsteps not so light. “Okay, time to do your hair! Do you want one braid or two?” 

Mickey set Franny back onto the floor. But she was frowning, looking back at him. 

“Can Uncle Mickey braid my hair?” She said to her mother instead. She looked between the two of them with big, hopeful eyes. 

“Huh?” Mickey was caught off guard by the request. 

Franny placed her hands on his knee, smiling wide. “Can you braid my hair, Uncle Mickey? Please?” 

“Oh. I don't know how to braid, Franny,” he said apologetically.

“But it's easy,” Franny insisted. “Mommy can show you!” 

“Maybe some other time,” Debbie said gently. “We have to get you ready for school.” 

Franny complied, though noticeably disappointed. 

Wasn't like he ever needed to know how to braid hair. Mandy never did any of that shit. If he did know, Terry would've sooner called him a faggot and shot him in between the eyes than let him do it again. 

It shouldn't have bothered him. But Mickey kept picturing the smile falling off Franny’s face. 

“Got you a burger,” Ian said when he came back to the ambulance, handing the bag off to him. 

Mickey was watching his phone screen intently, trying his hardest to follow along. He didn't see his husband staring at him with raised eyebrows. 

“What are you watching?” Ian said curiously. 

Mickey was too engrossed to answer. 

“Are you watching porn?” There was no answer. “Because if you are, it better not be those guys that kind of look like us. I’m telling you, Mick, it’s weird-” 

“Would you shut the fuck up?” Mickey said, exasperated. Ian stopped, glancing over at him. 

“Sorry...” Ian muttered. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Silence fell over the vehicle. Mickey’s eyes never wavered from his screen, while his husband chewed on his burger and fries. 

Then, suddenly, Mickey slammed his phone on the dashboard in frustration. 

Ian jumped. “The fuck is wrong with you?” 

“Nothing!” Mickey snapped, snatching the bag with his burger, angrily eating it. 

“Right...” Ian said in disbelief. “Okay...” 

Mickey tapped his foot on the floor, impatiently waiting for his brother to pick up. 

Finally, finally Iggy answered groggily. “What the fuck do you want?” 

“Bout time you answered my calls, fuckwad,” Mickey kept his voice down so no one would hear him. It was early in the morning before either of them had to go on rounds for their deliveries. The kitchen was quiet, dim with only the light over the sink on. 

“It’s early, man,” Iggy whined on the other line. “Couldn’t you have called at noon?” 

“No, I couldn’t call at noon,” Mickey sneered. “Need you to do me a favor, Ig.” 

“What kinda favor?” 

“Don’t start askin’ question. Just do what I tell you,” Mickey said through grit teeth. “I need you to get a few things for me.” 

He heard Iggy taking a drink, probably a beer. “Ay, I’ll do what I can but it’ll cost you.” 

“Let’s not forget you still owe me for those joints-” Iggy protested by exclaiming they were a birthday gift, but Mickey cut in. “Consider us even.” 

Mickey refused to blush when Iggy brought the supplies, his face contorted into a bewildered expression. 

“You know I don’t care if you’re gay,” his brother started, “but this going full fag, Mick.” 

He grabbed the bag away from Iggy. “Fuck off.” 

As per usual, his brother didn’t get the hint, always sure to interject his stupidity. “M’serious. Ian know about this? This what you two are plannin’ on doing before you take his dick?” 

Mickey rolled his eyes, looking through the bag to make sure everything was in there. “Get out,” he motioned towards the door. “I don’t want anyone seeing you.” 

But Iggy, as per usual, is hellbent on ignoring his orders. “Where’s my brother-in-law at, anyway? Haven’t seen him for a while.” 

“None of your rucking business, that’s where he’s at,” Mickey shot him a warning look. “Out, Ig.” 

“Ay, I brought you these-” 

Mickey shoved him out before he could finish that sentence. 

It wasn’t like he intended to get caught. But being in the Gallagher household, secrets weren’t always easy to keep. Mickey could only keep his activity up for so long, approximately two hours, because Ian came home from meeting with Larry and caught him in the act. 

The door to their room opened, which Mickey realized he should have locked, and in came Ian, stopping dead in his tracks upon seeing the mannequin heads Mickey was using so he could follow along while watching the videos. 

Neither one of them broke the dead silence at first. They stared at each other, and this was where, in any other circumstances, Mickey would have killed Ian and hid his body where no one would ever find it. 

But he loved the fucker, unfortunately. 

“What is happening?” Ian said slowly. 

“What’s it look like?” Mickey tried to sound indifferent. “I’m learning how to do hair.” 

“...Why?” Ian said, then joked, “planning on growing your hair out?” 

“No, asshole,” Mickey scoffed, dropping his gaze and coughing. “Franny wanted me to braid her hair the other day.” 

“Oh, yeah. Debs mentioned that,” Ian recalled with a smile. Mickey moved one of the mannequin heads so his husband could sit down on the bed. “She said Franny’s been asking her to teach you.” 

“Yeah, well,” Mickey muttered. “Now she don’t have to.” 

Ian smiled as widely as Franny had, leaning in to kiss him. “You’re so damn hot when you’re in uncle mode,” he whispered. 

Mickey was still not used to being complimented like this. He squirmed. “Just don’t wanna disappoint the kid, is all.” 

Ian stared at him for far too long, his expression was tender and it made him even more uneasy. 

“What?” 

“I told you that you weren’t your dad,” Ian kissed his forehead this time. “You’re so much better than him, Mickey, and you don’t even realize it.” 

“It’s just hair, Ian.” 

“It’s not just hair,” Ian shook his head. “You do a lot for Franny. Freddie too. And Liam-” 

“You gonna get to the point anytime soon, Gallagher?” 

Ian continued as if he hadn’t said anything, “I don't think sixteen year old Mickey would have learned how to braid hair to make his niece happy. He wouldn’t drop everything to help his brother-in-law on a project. And he definitely wouldn’t be excited about showing his baby nephew his favorite action movie.” 

“You weren’t supposed to see that,” Mickey muttered, remembering how he’d talked to Freddie the whole time, pointing out all the best parts of the movie. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Ian shrugged, then smiled again. “Mickey, I don’t care if we never have kids. Watching you with them is enough for me.” 

Ian scooted himself beside Mickey, his back against the wall, one arm over his husband to pull him close. 

“Yeah, well the rugrats ain’t so bad,” Mickey leaned in, feeling Ian kiss the top of his head. “Better than your annoying ass was back than.” 

“Don’t forget you wanted my annoying ass.” 

“Pretty sure it was the other way around,” Mickey quipped. 

They sat there, quiet, just basking in the moment. 

“So, you getting any good?” Ian asked conversationally. 

Mickey blew out a breath. “Nah. It’s harder than I thought. Tried following along to this chick’s video and she goes too fucking fast.” 

“Why don’t I watch it with you?” Ian offered. “We’ll follow along together.” 

“Figured you already knew how to do this shit,” Mickey remarked. 

“Nah. Fiona usually did it. Or Lip.” 

“Course Phllip knows how.” 

“He did it whenever Fi was too busy,” Ian said. “Didn’t you or your brothers ever do Mandy’s hair?” 

Mickey gave him a look like he was crazy. 

“Never mind.” 

Ian did as he suggested; with Mickey’s phone they watched endless tutorials together so he’d have a better grasp at it. Both of them worked on the mannequin heads, going for simple hairstyles that they could get the hang of quickly. It was frustrating at first, whenever Mickey would knot the hair up while trying to get it to twist but eventually, he was able to do it flawlessly. 

That night, while laying in bed side-by-side, Ian said, “Franny’s gonna be really happy tomorrow.” 

“Yeah,” Mickey murmured. 

“Hey, Mick?” 

“What?” 

“Where’d you get the heads anyway?” Ian said, curiously. 

When Mickey said nothing, Ian pressed. “Mickey...” 

“I might’ve had Iggy steal them from Tami’s hair salon....” 

Ian just sighed in exasperation. 

“Franny, come down here,” Debbie called up the stairs the next morning. There was no sound, no movement coming up from there at all. “Uncle Mickey’s going to do your hair if you get down here in the next five minutes.” 

Franny came barreling down the stairs. Debbie was muttering Jesus under her breath, rolling her eyes at the whirlwind her daughter created. 

“Morning, Little Red,” Mickey greeted. “You ready?” 

“Yeah!” Franny exclaimed. 

She jumped into the chair, squealing excitedly. Mickey chuckled, and told her she’d have to sit still so he could work. 

Debbie watched them with faint amusement. “If I knew Uncle Mickey was the answer to keeping you still, I would’ve had him doing it a while ago.” 

Mickey flipped her off above her daughter's head. 

[itgirlgyu]

how i think txt would react if their female best friend sat on their lap

requested!

YEONJUN...

oh my god totally bitchless behavior coming in within 0.4 seconds

like this man will stop functioning, like is it normal to have your hands on the side?

tries to strike a pose

like daniel,, bby you're embarrassing yourself

swear he thinks he's like aha so fine

might lean back to play it cool

but you know he stiff as hell

like basically it's that dad pose when you know you've disappointed him and you're about to sit with him in a dark living room to soak in the immeasurable shame you've brought to the family.

his undergarment is drenched from stress sweats

might actually start stuttering

pls get off him before his dry sex life makes him pop a boner and the friendship gets ruined for life.

SOOBIN...

his head starts overheating due to overthinking the moment you sit on his lap like

the only two option were the floor where beomgyu spilled his drink or any of the dudes lap and he's your bestie boo so ofc you'd pick him

right?

tries to gaslight himself into thinking it's fine

like sure this shit is fine and it's normal to sit on each others laps.

but inside his head there are 4 tabs open, two of them are having a debate on the pros and cons of having your best friend on your lap and other two are playing tiktok random hits and he doesn't know which one he should tune in to

for the peace of his own mind, he tries to sit on your lap the next time

tit for tat he says.

BEOMGYU...

starts acting like you are crushing his thighs

he knows you playing so he's like aha two can play the game

girl you really thought you will outdo the doer

the og mr. mood breaker?

will straight up start moaning in your ears

starts squirming and whining like

'oooof my thighs are so fragile,'

does not give two cents about the place he is in

or the situation

or what people will assume

if soobin is the overthinker, beomgyu rarely thinks

its like his brain just takes off in a rush and it's taken over by the sheer need to annoy the fuck out of his bestie.

he's like the fly you can't just quite swat away

literally starts doing his own echo moan from one ear to another

you have to admit the defeat and get up on your own.

TAEHYUN...

will not straight up push you off him.

but the look he gives you, he might as well just put in the physical effort and do it.

his face is like, 'you did this for what?'

'why not?'

'why though?'

tries to get used to you sitting on him

like its chill

you're his bestie and he's a gym goer

so it does work out nicely

but the thing is like,

your back is blocking his vision

like its all chill and cute in movies but irl your sight will definitely get blocked and it has nothing to do with the person's height!

he tries to adjust so that he doesn't need to kick you off of him

and hurt your feelings or something

man is here jumping through hoops to seem effortless in order to continue his debate with hyuka about the importance of the balance between peanut butter and jelly in the sandwich

you see his struggle and move over on your own with a new found respect for terry the terrance taehyun kang

HUENING KAI...

he's looking at your head like, hmm you kinda sus

but that lasts like a whole lot of ten seconds before he's like nothings even on him

although he tries to smell the top of your head like what is the difference between a baby's head and an adult's crown

he is a curious little crow, it's one of his charms

makes a quick mental note to break it to you gently that you might need to take a lil bit more hygiene care on the top of your head.

he leans back

unlike yeonjun the daniel choi, he's fr chill

also man's broad as hell

he's like meant to be a chair at this point

you can lean in as much as you want on him and you know he would fine with anything

like he barely feels you on him anyway

you can probably just lean back on him and he'd cradle you like his first born

just maybe not kiss the top of your head

but he finally got an idea what to gift you on your birthday!

so it all worked out for the best!

© to itgirlgyu. feedbacks are highly appreciated and welcomed!!!!

[randomitemdrop]

Trick or trivia

Happy Halloween! I do enjoy trivia of many types, but one of my favorite genres is what I call the Berenstein Timeline: unmade shows and movies, versions of classic movies where studios and producers made different decisions, some better, some much worse. All of these are real projects that were, on some level, considered (there are some recurring names)

"Heat Vision & Jack", a 90s pastiche of 70s-80s action shows starring Jack Black as an astronaut on the run from the law and Owen Wilson as his talking motorcycle

"Jurassic Park" directed by Tim Burton with Johnny Depp as Alan Grant, Jim Carrey as Ian Malcolm, and Vincent Price as John Hammond

the 90s "Batman" directed by Ivan Reitman; Bill Murray and Eddie Murphy were going to star but couldn't decide which of them would be Batman and which would be Robin

Back in the 1970s the American network was getting good numbers showing heavily-edited reruns of "Monty Python's Flying Circus", so they tried to sell the Pythons on the next logical step: an animated Saturday morning cartoon

"Edward Scissorhands" still directed by Burton but starring Tom Cruise or maybe Michael Jackson

"Return of the Jedi" directed by David Lynch; Harrison Ford was considering not coming back for the third movie and so when he came out of the carbonite there was a chance he would have been Christopher Walken

Guillermo del Toro's "At the Mountains of Madness". Also "the Hobbit" and lots of other things, he seems to have a lot of unmade projects

the 2010s "Star Trek" movie directed by Quentin Tarantino, where the edgy reboot crew visits the Gangster Planet from that one stupid episode of the original series

Everybody knows about the unmade "Superman Lives" starring Nicolas Cage in the title role, but did you know it was going to be directed by Tim Burton and include Christopher Walken as Brainiac, who would have been a green head on spider legs

Harold Ramis didn't particularly want to act on camera, so when they were casting "Ghostbusters" Egon could have been Christopher Walken, Christopher Lloyd, Jeff Goldblum, or John Lithgow. Supposedly the movie was originally intended to be a relatively serious exploration of Dan Akroyd's very real interest in paranormal investigation, although this clashes a bit with the fact that Peter Venkman was originally going to be played by John Belushi and Winston Zeddmore was written for Eddie Murphy who backed out when the character's backstory and most of his lines were cut

John Waters' animated series "Uncle John" on 90s MTV

the original version of "Bill & Ted's Time Van" starring Pauly Shore and Sean Penn

"Red Dragon" (the original Hannibal Lecter novel) directed by David Lynch starring John Lithgow as Hannibal Lecter and Mel Gibson as Will Graham

the 1970s "Dr. Strange" TV series

the 1990s Disney animated "John Carter of Mars"

the 1990s Warner Bros animated "King Tut" musical with songs by Prince

the serious horror version of "Beetlejuice"

Drew Barrymore's 2000s remake of "Barbarella"

the Dungeons & Dragons movie James Cameron was going to make until TSR left the table over merchandising disputes, forcing Cameron to go work on some dumb movie about the Titanic

American "Doctor Who" movie starring Michael Jackson

Canadian "Doctor Who" cartoon by Nelvana starring a Doctor based intensely off of either Jeff Goldblum or Christopher Lloyd

"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" directed by Terry Gilliam

"Good Omens" directed by Terry Gilliam and starring Johnny Depp and Robin Williams

"The Black Cauldron" using character and background designs by Nightmare-era Tim Burton

[berensteinsmonster]

Does Lucy have a teeny little cowwoy hat? 🥺 That’s adorable! Did Terrence make it for her?

Yes 💛 Louie (previously known in the drafts as Lucy) does wear a teeny little cowwoy hat :)))

It helps to distinguish that as Terrence's right hand lady (er, bird), and thus the most important of the flock. It gives her a sort of "crown" that shows she commands the other birds to follow her lead via chirping. Especially since she's the most sentiemt amongst them. Like the flock leader or smthin. Though they didn't have one before until Louie came along

Terrence Sweetheart honestly does look like the type of gal to know how to sew, so I'd say maybe.

Plus with her little cowwoy hat, it keeps her distinguishable from the other Golden Arctic Doves that flock around the sheriff.

BACKSTORYYYYYYY

On a particular, uninteresting day, the airship was attacked by an evil sorcerer who wanted to curse their sheriff with NASTY magic!!! The rangers all did their best to protect Terry, trying to apprehend the evil sorcerer, but an EVIL bolt was charging towards her! Louie dived in at the last second and....

....was zapped right in the heart, poofing into a Golden Arctic Dove. The rangers apprehend and arrest the evil sorcerer – who will never be brought up or become relevant again – and delivered news to the sheriff that the only way to turn Louie back into a human was with the sheriff's true love's kiss.

This confused Terrence alot, because she loved everybody? None the less, Louie seemed fine after that encounter and learned to fly like an average bird. She tried to kiss Louie but it didn't have any results (aside from Louie flushing with pink hehee)

She's still treated with the same amount dignity when she was a human, and still attends ranger meetings because she's a very valuable asset to the posse. Though no one can understand her aside from Terrence, they still give her respect by letting her give her opinions (via chirps). She also has her own stand to perch on.

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Joe Velasco: (Untitled for now) Part 1 

Part 2

  

Warnings: Sexual assault (not to reader), talk about sex and sexual situations.  

Time didn’t slow down when it happened. It felt more like flashes of a camera lens. You walk into the room. Flash. You see that you weren’t alone. Flash. The man that was on top of the woman noticed you. Flash. Her clothes ripped. his fly unzipped. Flash. She is not moving. Him lunging at you. Flash. Pain searing white hot through you, glass shattering. Flash. Him on top of you. Eyes cold and hard. Flash. You struggle underneath him as he tries to restrain you. Flash. Your hand hits a cold plastic in your purse. Flash. The weight of him falls on top of you as you press the taser trigger down holding it against him. Flash. The sound of voices outside the door. Flash. He's getting up and running. Flash. A yell for someone to call 911. 

You don’t remember exactly how you got to the precinct, but you're now sitting on an exam table. You had been asked if you wanted to go to the hospital, but you refused saying that you were okay and the EMTs had reluctantly cleared you. You knew that you would have to give a statement to the police. It shouldn’t have, but it surprised you when instead of setting you down in front of a detective to take your statement you were ushered down to the medical examiners to have evidence taken.  

The door opened but instead of someone in a lab coat, there were two detectives. A woman that you didn’t know and a man you did, Terry Bruno. His bright blue eyes were worried. Your brain felt fuzzy as they entered. Time was becoming a fickle thing and it felt like there were short but disorientating time jumps. You felt slightly woozy. You're jolted by Bruno saying your name to the woman telling her that you are a forensic tech for the department. He eyes you again clicking at his phone. Your mind blanks, trying to shield you from the memory. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” You look up at the woman realizing that she is now talking to you. She repeats herself the words echo in your mind a few times before you can understand them. 

“I was- I was at a convention for training. I-I,” You swallow hard not recognizing your own shaky voice. You try again, “I was late and was just trying to cut through that room when I saw... I saw that guy over that woman-is she okay?” 

“We aren’t sure yet. She got hit in the head pretty hard. We will know more when she wakes up.” The door opens again. Melinda walks in with another young pretty tech a few paces behind her. Melinda walked up to the table greeting you and setting her clipboard to the side. She looks you over and you shift on the table awkwardly. Your eyes bounce between the four people in the room. 

“I think you know the drill. I’m going to have to take your clothes for evidence.” You nod. “I want to do a full workup to look for fibers, hairs, blood, and other body fluids. This guy might have left something behind in the struggle.” You sat up a little straighter at that. 

“Melinda, I-” You don’t know why but you feel embarrassed. It has to be the stress of the day or strangers staring at you. You take a deep breath, and you suddenly feel the pain in your ribs. The adrenaline is starting to fade. You steal yourself, “I’m going to have DNA. I had sex this morning. I didn’t have time to shower, so.” Melinda smiles reassuringly at you.  

“That’s okay, we will just match those samples-” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know how it works. I was just...” You trail off self-consciously. Everyone was still staring at you like they were waiting for something. You wished you knew what it was so you could get them to stop. 

“I feel the need to remind you that you don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.” Melinda’s voice was as soothing as it was definitive. It was motherly, in a no-nonsense way, and like balm to your wrecked nerves. You knew the woman well. There was a lot of information sharing between your two departments. You had a coworker friendship but it didn't go to a more personal level. You supposed it would now.  

“I know,” You state simply, you can feel the tension in the room as everyone waits on your next move, “It’s okay, it’s just-it's a lot.” You are saved from having to continue explaining yourself when the door swings back open. Joe is on you in seconds, his gait eating up the distance between you. The woman calls his last name and asks him what he is doing here. Bruno takes another step back making more room for him to stand next to you. There is fear and anger in his eyes as he halts beside you. His eyes are scanning you, taking in your appearance. “I’m okay.” You assure him, or maybe yourself. It’s not a complete lie- you're okayish-Alive, breathing, most unscathed. He scoffs at the statement, obviously not liking your minimization tactics.

“So, we are lying to each other now? Have you seen your face?” His hand reaches out to touch you before stopping a couple inches away.  

“Actually, I haven’t.” You honestly didn’t know what you looked like post-attack. You weren’t sure if you really wanted to. You still mostly felt numbness in your body, but it was slowly fading leaving a deep ache on your face and right side. “I look that bad?” He pauses clearly unsure how to answer that without offending you. He chooses instead to ignore the question and start whispering soothingly to you in Spanish. He pulls you into a light but encompassing embrace stroking your hair. It sends rivulets of warmth through your chilled body. You soak in the loving contact while pressing a soft kiss to his jaw. “Wait, how did you even know I was here?” 

“I called him.” Bruno cut in, “He is your emergency contact, isn’t he?” 

“You should have called me, mi amor.” He pulled back to look over your now throbbing face again. You apologize grabbing his forearm, and he slides his hand down to intertwine with your fingers instead.  

“Hold on,” The woman who was interviewing you earlier called out. Everyone turned to face her, and it was clear that she was in charge. “You know her, on a personal level? Velasco, you can’t be anywhere near this. Matter of fact, everyone out, this needs to do this by the book. We collect the evidence. Then a statement.” 

“You kidding me, Captain? I’m not leaving,” Joe's grip on your hand tightens. You then realize the woman is Joe’s higher-up, Captain Olivia Benson. You had heard a lot about the women but had never met her yourself. She had put Joe through a hell of a time because of his past. Joe respected her but you were still a little angry with her for the pain and heartache that she had caused him. The lack of understanding or compassion. You were petty like that.

You begrudgingly agreed with her on this one. You know the strict rules of collecting evidence and keeping it from cross-contamination. it would be better for you to be alone while you did this anyway. You doubted Melinda would be able to do her job with him in here. Your normally calm and collected detective boyfriend was not okay in the sight of you getting hurt. You squeeze Joe’s hand, and he looks back at you. You tell him it’s okay. “No te dejaré cariño (I’m not leaving you sweetheart).” 

“Really, it’s okay,” You run your hand across his clean-shaven jaw. “It’s not like anything is going to happen to me in here. Melinda needs to do her job. Besides I’m going to have to leave my clothes here. I was hoping that maybe you had some spares I could wear? Maybe get me something cold to drink? Por favor Corazón.” The reluctance is written all over his face. He doesn’t want to leave. If it was up to him, he wouldn’t. His hand is still tight on yours. His green eyes are searching yours trying to find even a hint that you don’t want him to leave. You seem to reassure him because he presses a quick kiss on your forehead. 

“Okay, but if you need me-” You kiss his hand and tell him you know. The three detectives file out. Joe gives you one last glance as Bruno puts a hand on his shoulder to keep him moving forward. When the door clicked closed you felt a sigh escape you. The detectives' eyes had been analyzing and seeing Joe that upset and worried had been hard.  

“You have quite a guard dog with that one.” You turn to Melinda and smile a genuine smile. Throughout your relationship with Joe, he has proved that he showed love through actions first, and words second. You knew had you asked him to stay or told him that you wanted to leave, it wouldn’t have been a conversation, it would have simply been done.  

“You have no idea.”  

“Just make sure you lean on him throughout this. It’s clear he doesn’t want you to have to do it alone.” Melinda turns to the young tech, who walks closer with her camera. “You ready to start?”  

You try to sit still as the camera flashes in your face taking pictures. You remove your top and put it in the evidence bag that is held out to you. The tech asks you to lift your right arm. You go to do so, and a zap of pain flares up your side making you wince and drop it back down. You look down to see the entire length of your ribs is an awful shade of black and blue. That small dose of pain opens the floodgates as you start feeling just how sore and rough you really are. You pull your arm across your chest instead which hurts significantly less. Pictures are snapped. 

Next to go into a bag is your pants. Your thigh and knee are photographed. More big ugly bruises on your right side. The tech catches sight of bruising on your inner thighs and asks you to spread your legs. Embarrassment floods through you. You had never felt awkward talking about your sex life, but this was far more intimate than bragging about having hot sex on the kitchen table. “Oh, no. Those are...old. Consensual.” It feels strange to say that about bruises, but you recalled in vivid detail the night Joe had held you hard enough to leave fingertip-shaped bruises. Telling him to stop had been the last thing on your mind. 

They had run a black light over you when you were in just your underwear. You lit up like a Christmas tree on your inner thighs, stomach, neck, and chest. You blushed bright crimson, even though neither woman made any comment. You had sex that morning and a few times the night before. That was why you had been running late to your conference meeting. Even so, Melinda took samples of everything regardless reminding you that it would be better than accidentally missing something. She prodded at your injuries with more swabs hoping for touch evidence. It hurt like a bitch but you tried not to fidget. You didn’t think they would find much. You had been pushed into a coffee table and you were pretty sure that was what had caused most of your injuries.      

You are asked for your bra and underwear as well, even after your weak protest that he hadn’t made his way under any of your clothes, Melinda persisted. They too went in evidence bags. Along with your necklace and ring. You were given a loose gown to wear as she finished with scrapping under your fingernails taking clippings and combing through your hair looking for anything that may have been caught in the strands. 

The process was invasive and tiring. By the end of it, your whole right side was throbbing, and your face hurt. You just wanted to go home and lay in bed and never move again. The tech left and Joe was standing in the doorway. It was clear that he had been waiting outside for some time. It was also very apparent that he wasn't happy about not being allowed to stay. “You can come in Detective Velasco. We are all done.”  

He doesn’t waste any time in closing the distance between the two of you. He gently sets a pair of sweats on your lap before pressing a cold bottle of water in your hand. He untwists the top for you like he thinks you might not be capable, but you don’t take offense. Any unnecessary movement is something you want to avoid. You take a sip, and it feels good in your mouth and throat but doesn’t settle well in your stomach.

“While you're here,” Joe turns to see Melinda holding up another swab. Joe’s eyebrows furrow uncertainly. You know he doesn’t like having his DNA in evidence. “Just need a sample to exclude any of your DNA that is found. Open up.” He obliges and she swabs the inside of his cheek before closing it into a bottle and writing his name on the side.  

When he turns back to you, you have already shrugged on his oversized NYPD sweatshirt and were pulling up the pants. You are swimming in them and have to roll them multiple times to get them to stay. The loose fit is a relief because it doesn’t rub up against your injuries. They smell good too, comforting even if there is a slight lingering tinge of his sweat under the smell of his deodorant and cologne. You're done with the first step, now you steal yourself to face SVU and give your statement.   

[magentagalaxies]

Kids in the Archive: Episode 5

told you it wouldn't be long until you saw kids in the archive again! originally i wanted this episode to be about the citizen kane sketch as requested by the lovely @oliviaskithworld but unfortunately i left my citizen kane script at home when i went off to college, so i'll make sure to do that episode as soon as i get home for thanksgiving break. for now, let's get into today's iconic kids in the hall sketch and break down a behind-the-scenes comparison of script and screen

Previous Episodes: Episode 1 - armada finale ("do we make it?") Episode 2 - fran & gordon: the vacation Episode 3 - comfortable Episode 4 - cathy & kathi: is he?

today we're diving into a highly cinematic sketch, s3e7's "Kidnapped"

i feel like this is the most popular danny husk appearance, as it's the one i see brought up most often. personally, there are danny sketches i'd rank higher (my favorite is "husk musk" followed closely by "brown stuff." i don't have scripts for either yet) but i feel like this sketch exemplifies everything great about a danny husk appearance: his doofy personality, corporate bureaucracy, and a touch of the surreal.

The Cinematography

while this sketch doesn't compare to the art house cinematography of later works like "love and sausages," this sketch is still full of striking visuals that are not noted anywhere in the script. as you can see above, this script opens on dave and doesn't showcase the headline until we already see danny husk holding the newspaper. compare that to the more powerful opening of a stack of newspapers being dropped on the ground. other beats, such as danny sleeping on his desk under a newspaper, are missing as well.

Kevin's Character

most of the changes to this script in its final version were additions, such as the "i think this phone might be bugged" beat or bruce's kidnapper character being one he's played in previous sketches. however, the one part of the sketch that was trimmed down is kevin's character (referred to as "terry" in the final version, though the script never mentions his name). terry is the person in charge of the printers, he speaks to danny in multiple scenes, and in the script it's actually his idea to photocopy the last two-dollar bill. also he might be hinted as being into danny i'm not sure

The Ending

once again, the ending is for the most part unchanged, just with a few beats shortened.

unlike the final version, danny doesn't return to the newspaper boy, instead having his "i'm free" triumph in the same location where he met with his kidnapper. his celebration is also much shorter - cutting out his hug with the newsboy, his dance, and limiting his flight to just running while making the sounds of an airplane.

scott would later reference this sketch's ending when stating how he regrets not putting danny husk in brain candy, opting to replace him with a doppelganger "wally" instead. sure, danny husk isn't gay, but he also can't fly and his pits didn't cause world peace. he's such an ordinary character that his ordinariness becomes malleable, and unlike a character like buddy who tries to adhere to a sense of continuity, danny can be carried wherever the plot takes him.

[captainjacklyn]

Twisted Wonderland & Captain Jack Sparrow!Reader, PART 1 :

A/N : Just wanted to do something special for my 1000+ followers, it feels like I should've done better, I gotta be more present with my community and blog. Just so you know- even if I don't post, it doesn't mean I am not there. Love you all <3

This is Part 1 with Heartslabyul & Savannaclaw, Part 2 will contain Octavinelle and Scarabia, Part 3 will be with Pomefiore and Ignihyde, Part 4 is Diasomnia

Personality : According to screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio, Sparrow is a trickster who uses wit and deceit to attain his goals, preferring to end disputes verbally instead of by force. He walks with a slightly drunken swagger and has slurred speech and flailing hand gestures. Sparrow is shrewd, calculating, and eccentric.

Warning(s) : the reader is gender neutral, just wanted to give our favourite pirate some appreciation so the reader has his personality, skills & background, pronouns are you cause...it's literally just you. mentions of drinking habits, I've seen teenagers drink their heart out but the age of the reader isn't mentioned so make up your mind, killing, thieving cause its a pirate what did you expect ?

All characters with a Jack Sparrow!Reader :

HEARTSLABYUL

Riddle ♡ - He doesn't like you, not in the slightest. You violate the rules, you get into trouble and proceed to bail your friends by placing the fault on them. "I can name fingers and point names." Really ?! His bitterness turned into pure irritation the moment you admitted to have been a pirate. Riddle knows about those type of sea criminals, historically at least. Not in any sort of fantasy like ways because he says they are just children false imagination. There was this one time where Grim called for you during an unbirthday party, you kicked a buffet table to make one of the pastries fly into the air, jumped over the table, caught it, bit a piece out of it and complimented trey's cooking to finally excuse yourself. It wasn't against the rules but he wished it was because you KICKED THE TABLE WHERE HE WAS SITTING-

Ace ♡ - He finds you funny, I mean come on. You speak like a drunk person and you can copy/understand his little card tricks in a few seconds. You can't tell me the two of you don't gamble, betting your lunch and money, to the point where no one gets to eat. He will ask you about your pirate life because he thinks its rad, you get to set out to sea without a care in the world just looking for ways to make yourself rich. Sounds like new dream job for Ace ! You are pretty much the same when you get in trouble, "He did it ! ....I didn't ! No you did !" both of you are trying to stab each other in the front and not in the back cause you are very open about it.

Deuce ♤ - "Why fight when you can negotiate ?" was the first thing you said the moment he was about to hit the student you broke the eggs during your shopping for Ace's tart. He appreciates your patience, you usually try to end disputes verbally instead of swinging a punch the moment you get irritated. Admires your courage as well, even when riddle over blotted you partly stood your ground (partly because you tried to run away at first but then Ace stopped you). Got hit more than once because you flail your hands around when you speak, he reminds you when you're done but please stop cause his nose is turning into a weird color.

Cater ♢ - He finds you funny, especially with the way you talk and run away from his house warden. You get along well even if he has trouble understanding your logic at times. Definitely takes funny pictures with you even if you don't get why he does it. "did everyone see that cause I will not be doing it again." he saw it and he snapped pictures of you fighting a group of flamingos while saying that you know you're attractive but this is a little much ladies. Boy is laughing at your shenanigans, always.

Trey ♧ - He just laughs whenever you act a little weird, you're eccentric and similarly to cater, he finds it hilarious. When he made the joke about adding oyster sauce into the batter for the tarts, you just looked at him and said : "You're basically saying that you want to put me in the tart ? Because that's what it sounds like." You do smell like fish because of your adventures in the ocean, he sometimes eavesdrops whenever you visit the adeuce duo to talk about your accomplishments. Trey finds your demeanor a little charming and he may or may not be charmed himself, statement is based off of a time where you tried to play smooth in order to get a tart.

SAVANNACLAW

Leona 𓃬 - You're too energetic, stop it, stop moving. You definitely tested his patience during chapter 2 because he tried to kill you more than once (he calls you a fish smelling bastard, of course you don't care but you won't accept an insult without the 'captain' part). Because of your shrewd and calculating prowess, you were able to figure out his schemes very easily. A couple years of pirating comes in handy when your life depends on deceit and wit. He smelled your presence after he had that conversation with Jack, you're pretty loud too, stealth is definitely not you're strong point. "Alright you caught me I was spying on your little chit chat with the big dog. And honestly, I don't care what you do as long as you don't drag me into it. But unfortunately you did drag me into it...now we're both angry." "What do you want, mister/misses/mixes pirate ? A gold coin ? Take your pick because I got many." "A tempting offer which I will address later, but I came here with a word of advice mate- the problem isn't the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." "...what." "In stupid people language it means stop whatever the hell you're doing cause it's not gonna work out. I've seen better plans than this like I've seen prettier krakens then this designer wallet." "HEY-"

Ruggie 🐾 - He's a little intimidated by you, you figured things out quicker than he would expect a drunk type of person to. Don't judge a book by its cover, got it. He was especially freaked out when he sensed your presence, even more when you came in through the window right after Jack left. You were also one of the first people to sympathize with him when Leona betrayed his own vice dorm leader, saying that if he wanted to be a pirate, he was already on the right track. You bond over the fact that the both of you are good thieves, you teach him a few tricks and he'll teach you a couple as well. Like Ace, he finds your job fun, at least it looks like it. You're more similar to him than you think, I genuinely feel like if he could, he would run away from society to find his own place and maybe a couple of treasures along the way.

Jack 𓃥 - He is confused, you have a sense of justice...but you're someone who gets hunted down by the government. And you steal too...why did headmaster ask you to solve the case again ? He's on good terms with you but you're not exactly friends either, he just finds you strange yet surprisingly smart despite your background. The way you run away is weird though, why are your legs running faster than your upper body ? Brushes it off later, he is impressed by your way of thinking, it may come off as insane but there is actually knowledge. When you came up with a plan to stop Leona he said it could be the most mad thing they ever did or the most brilliant thing ever. "it's remarkable how often those two traits connect." He admires you, you're still weird but..you're cool..even though you're weird.

It's a little long on Leona's part but I feel like they would be a pretty funny frenemy duo.

[bluemoonperegrine]

A Friend Indeed

This is my foray into the obligatory "Jack staggers up to Bloodstone Manor on death's doorstep in need of Elsa's aid" genre.

The thing is that I'm not terribly sure what happens next, so if anyone wants to take a stab at it, feel free! I think it would be great if multiple people did. I have some ideas about exactly why Jack is in such bad shape. If you want to hear them, DM me. If you want to make it up, that's fine too.

Rating: Gen Characters: Jack Russell, Elsa Bloodstone, original characters Word Count (so far): ~1500 Warnings: None

The sedan hit a pothole hard enough to make Jack’s stomach lurch. Keeping his eyes closed, he inhaled sharply and tried not to retch.

“Do NOT vomit in my car, Terry,” Athena said to his left.

Jack had disliked the vampire soon after meeting her at an I-495 truck stop outside Hudson, Massachussetts as the half-full moon brightened deepening twilight. Plump and shorter than he was, the curly-haired woman of Greek descent had informed Jack that his vampire-werewolf niece Nina was the only reason she was giving him a lift. “I’d insist on a drink,” Athena had said while eyeing the part of his neck not covered by his winter coat and scarf, “but your kind tastes… gamey.”

That had been two hours earlier when he’d only had a high fever and moderate pain from the bandaged slash across his right forearm. Jack had had enough willpower to bite back a retort and give the hateful creature a curt nod. Now his arm and head throbbed as lightheadedness crept in. 

“Doing my best,” Jack replied. “And enough with ‘Terry.’” It wasn’t even an original taunt: Jack Russell Terrier to “Terry”. Ha ha. At least he was alive and not a parasite.

In his mind’s eye Nina raised a manicured eyebrow. His niece wasn’t a parasite. She’d struggled but had found her own path. Nina fed on human predators, usually ones able to evade the law. It was ugly business, but the world was better for it.

Athena sniffed. “What’s wrong with you, anyway? Werewolves heal fast.”

“The… thing I was hunting got a few hits in,” Jack said. “One slash broke the skin. It was healing. I called Nina when I started feeling sick.”

“So the ‘thing’ got away.”

Jack snarled, then caught himself and stopped. “I killed it. It won’t hurt anyone else.”

“Ah,” Athena said as she glanced at her iPhone propped on the dashboard. The blue arrow marking their location inched west from the rural town of New Braintree. Jack didn’t recognize the two-lane road Athena was taking, but it had already been dark when he’d approached Bloodstone Manor last fall and he’d been sick with worry. 

Rescuing Ted had nearly ended in disaster. The swamp creature had gleefully told Jack how he’d crashed through the trophy room’s stained-glass ceiling and incinerated Verussa, who’d been about to kill her own stepdaughter. 

How Elsa had survived the wolf Jack didn’t know. Presumably it was a combination of that side of him remembering her scent, and her bravery and intelligence. How fitting that the remarkable woman’s address was Braintree.

“…time to check with contacts, but I think— Russell!” the vampire snapped. 

Jack managed a grin as a reward for not calling him Terry. “Hmm?”

“Pay attention! We’re almost there.”

Jack nodded, which prompted a fresh wave of nausea. 

She gestured at the woods on the north side of the road. “The fence bounding the property is twenty feet that way. Good luck with security.” She leaned forward and scrutinized the dirt shoulder topped with a thin layer of snow. “Once I find a good place to pull over, my debt to Nina is paid in full.”

“Nuh-uh,” Jack said. 

Light from the phone’s display showed Athena’s scowl. “‘Nuh-uh?’”

“You agreed to get me inside. Don’t vampires fly?”

Athena’s eyes flashed red as brought the BMW to an abrupt halt. The motion made Jack’s head swim. “No. But you do.”

Through pain and dizziness Jack was vaguely aware of cold hands hauling him out of the car and through underbrush. “What?” he asked at least once.

They stopped with Athena holding Jack up by a handful of his coat in front of a wrought-iron fence stretching left and right into forest. Jack squinted at the tall, closely spaced bars. He was in no condition to jump or climb. 

He was about to ask Athena to give him a boost when she said, “The manor is due north.” She gave him a fanged smirk, and he was sailing over the fence. 

The ground rushed up and punched him in the head.

Athena chuckled as Jack vomited into leaf litter. “Give Nina my regards, if you survive.”

Jack heard her retreating footsteps between dry heaves. Pinche vampiros.

The next thing Jack knew he was laying on his back and the moon had set.

That didn’t make sense. How had it moved so fast?

You passed out, Ted said in his mind.

“Ted? How did you get here?”

Doesn’t matter, his friend—more than a friend—said. Get up. You must get up.

Groaning, Jack pushed himself up to a sitting position. “Why?”

To see Elsa.

Jack’s right arm buckled, and he nearly fell back. His right arm burned, and he couldn’t feel that hand. “Okay,” he replied.

With his breath forming frosty clouds, Jack got his feet under him and followed Ted’s directions. The dense woods were a godsend; the trees helped him stay upright as he put one foot in front of the other.

Jack grinned when bright lights shone through the trees and shrubs ahead. The manor was close. Elsa was close. He regretted leaving the day after the funeral-turned-battle-royale, but Ted needed to go home, and his other side had killed nearly everyone in the trophy room. The exceptions were Verussa, whom Ted had taken care of, and Elsa. Fierce, beautiful Elsa, the woman he dreamed of since that night but was too ashamed to approach. 

It had taken a wound inflicted by a supposed demon to make Jack seek out the Bloodstone heiress. After slaying the pale, four-foot-tall, spindly-armed humanoid that was stronger and faster than it appeared, he’d made his way through the abandoned industrial area it had called home. The slash its claws had made through his coat into flesh wasn’t healing. His gut said he was in trouble, so he’d tightly wrapped the wound and called Nina. He needed to get to Elsa, he told her.

After declaring Jack an idiot for wanting to go to Hunter Central, Nina had said to get to his car and sit tight. She couldn’t help directly from her flat in Bolivia, but she’d call in some favors.

Leaning against a white birch, Jack peered ahead. Across 100 feet of manicured lawn was the imposing facade of Bloodstone Manor. 

Mustering his remaining strength, Jack stood up straight and started toward Elsa. Leaves and patches of snow crunched underfoot as he continued through the woods.

Where are you going? Ted asked.

Jack swiped away sweat stinging his eyes as he trudged onward. “Elsa.” 

The manor’s north! You’re going the wrong way!

Jack shook his head. The resulting wave of pain made him cry out. 

A gunshot made his ears ring. The shock of it brought him to his knees.

“This is private property!” a woman shouted a short distance ahead.

“Elsa!” Jack laughed. “Why are you in the woods?” Then he frowned; he wasn’t sure if he’d said that in English or Spanish.

He was about to repeat the question in English when leaves rustled and twigs snapped as a lithe form moved closer. Elsa’s familiar scent carried on the light breeze. “Who…” she called. “Jack?”

“Yes!” he said, struggling to stand upright with the help of another tree. “I’d have called but—”

Elsa, dressed in practical outdoor clothing with a hunting rifle in one hand, rushed up to him, radiant and full of life. Even with her gaping at him, she seemed lighter than when he’d last seen her. Which made sense considering his other side was about to tear her apart then, but—

“How did you get here?!” Elsa demanded.

Jack interrupted his smiling with a reply. “Pinche vampira.”

She blinked at him, then looked around with alarm.

“She left,” Jack assured her. “BMW. I’m to give Nina her regards if I survive.” His last few words had come out slurred, and the night was getting darker.

“Survive what?!”

Jack fumbled for the nearest tree for support, but found Elsa instead. He smiled, happy to lean into her with her scent all around as dizziness returned. “Dover Demon,” Jack said as Elsa shifted to get his left arm over her shoulders. He moved his wounded arm forward. Blood had soaked through his makeshift bandage and darkened the lower half of his coat’s sleeve. “Not silver,” he murmured as his eyelids grew heavy.

“Oh no no no no,” Elsa said, dragging him forward. “Don’t you dare pass out on me, Jack… What is your full name?”

“Me llamo Jack Russell.”

They stopped short, which made Jack’s head swim. “You’re having me on.”

“¡Es verdad!” Jack said as he got his feet under him. “Wasn’t about to change my name because of a new dog breed.”

Elsa looked at him askance. Jack picked one of the three of her he saw and gave her his best smile.

“Right,” she said, all business again. “Walk with me, Russell. We’re—”

“Jack,” he corrected.

Elsa sighed. “Fine, Jack. Let’s get you inside so you survive.”

Jack’s heart melted a little. That was one of the nicest things he’d heard in decades.

---------------

To be clear(ish), Ted may or may not have been communicating with Jack psychically. I left it ambiguous. Jack's sick as a dog (pun intended) so he might be hallucinating.

[sterlingarcher23]

An endless summer skateboarding & a seashell lamp

If you didn't notice, they told us what Max is doing in her head right now in the coma.

She covers her "The Endless Summer" poster with her head in S2 and completely in 4. (There's a lot going on behind Max's head)

Note how the sea shell lamp is only on when Max is with El.

Proxys

Oh, and we had that scene in which William, sorry, Billy says "You know what happens if you lie to me." ... Yeah. He did. Break her skateboard. I mean Vecna did. Her. - the Dear Billy poster says "No more lies. No more hiding" and Vecna/Edward using Billy's appearance.

Seriously. They spoon feed us everything.

Interesting how they use other characters to foreshadow and be proxys of others. Like Henderson means Son of Henry, Eddie = Edward/Vecna who plays him in the game. William is possessed... I mean Will, I mean Billy. And some lines from Robin are proxy lines for El. - Like "I wanted her to look at me..." but someone is in the way. (El is misinterpreting her own feelings. And then there's this "I love her and I can't lose her again" and it's Max looking embarrassed)

If you want to stop One

But I digress. Now, speaking of this scene. El IS the only One to stop One (remember Owens: You are One of the good Ones). That's been foreshadowed in the very first scene in which she sees Max.

Max is circling and wouldn't have stopped, Mike tried, if El hadn't stopped her in a manner of speaking. Brenner told us how to stop One.

In order to stop One, you need to fly, you need to be consumed and Max "Can't stop".

This One is circling endlessly like Terry Ives in her mind and this is likely the connection with the rainbow sequence in the lab scene and the zooming effect.

In the skateboard scene from Season 2 the Zoomer is mentioned the first time. Twice.

Told you. - Zoomer.

Spoon fed. - Taking the wheel, like taking control.

And circling, spinning is totally an ElMax theme.

The sea shell lamp scenes also form a pattern with it off when Max is alone, broken, haunted and hunted by abusers like William/Vecna and on when she's with El.

There's another scene coming to complete this pattern with the lamp on in Season 5 (even if that lamp is probably created in the mind.)

Sea shells btw have a lot of meanings:

"Seashells are often associated with love and fertility. In some cases, the seashell can be seen as symbolic of female genitalia. Medieval Christian traditions associate seashells with pilgrims.

In some new age traditions, seashells are used to symbolize the unconscious and are associated with emotions. Thanks to their connection to the sea and water, they are also evocative of peace and tranquility." Kitty Jackson - Quote from this article about Botticelli's Birth of Venus.

Sea shell lamp on = love & femininity. Wonder Woman. Um, that's, how would Will phrase it: "Something something...on the nose"

Red Skittle btw is Strawberry.

Taste (consume) the rainbow....

😉 (sorry for the Starship Troopers joke)

[crabs-with-sticks]

Who are you voting for this Bird of the Year?

People not from Aotearoa may not know this, but every year there is a national election for the bird of the year. It gets cutthroat, and was the actual 2020 election that featured significant voter fraud. You may remember last year that John Oliver got really excited about a bird? The puteketeke?

So- want to vote in a foreign election? Want to experience the epic highs and lows of NZ bird politics? Want to experience the joy of ranked choice voting?

Propaganda under the cut :)

Kārearea: The kārearea is always my first pick. We have a special relationship ever since I was violently attacked by one while I was lost hiking and trying to figure out where I was. Its actually quite terrifying to see a falcon speeding silently towards you at your eye level. Mad respect.

Kea: Deeply seriousness birds and they know it. One tried to steal my shoelaces once. While they were on my feet. These parrots are too smart for their own good. They set off predator traps on purpose because they like to make things go bang. They have been known to use road cones to redirect traffic according to their whims.

Mohua: I was adopted by a flock of these birds when we were hiking and my dad played their song to try bring them in. They instantly swarmed around us and looked very confused as we were very large birds, but all are welcome in the family I guess. They are known to welcome other species into their flocks.

Kererū: FAT FUCKS! These guys are really fat pigeons and in summer they get drunk off fermented fruit and fall out of trees. They consistently forget how heavy they are and misjudge their ability to land on trees.

Pūteketeke: John Oliver's pick in the last election. They have floating nests and funky mating dances :D

Tokoeka: a species of kiwi, their name translates to 'weka with a walking stick'. They're very fluffy and wiggle their buts when they forage.

Takahē: They were thought extinct but were rediscovered! They're very dinosaur looking birds, but the two in a sanctuary still harass my uncle for food (they're elderly advocate birds). 10/10 on the orb rating

Kākāpō: Another super rare bird. Stephen Fry made a documentary about them, and one of the birds started shagging the guide's head. They don't fly but look super cute.

Titipounamu: another very orbular bird. These are tiny lil guys and have a call that sounds like laser guns.

Ruru: Who doesn't love an owl with those big eyes and swivelly head? They've been making a comeback in NZ cities! Also feature on Sir Terry Pratchett's coat of arms

Weka: A common bird but no less charming. Little menaces they will try and steal your food, and will also walk through your bivvy while you're sleeping.

[kaseyskat]

the other day i wrote a little smth as a warm up that is based mostly on musings i associate with @officialgleamstar (thank u travvy ily) and i have decided against my better judgement to post it! for funsies

~~~

Taylor’s mom bought the house.

It was a gift to them, after Normal had studied and studied to learn a spell that could regrow her disintegrated hand and after the near end of the world left them far too behind in their schooling to catch up. A safe place: they didn’t have to live there, but Link stayed there as he slowly mended the relationship with his dad, and sometimes Taylor would come for solitude, and sometimes Normal would visit just to get away from his family.

And Scary? Well.

After her stepdad’s death, she hadn’t gone back home. How could she? Her relationship with her mother was irreparably destroyed, torn to shreds and left a bleeding corpse. It was hard enough to call her when all was said and done, hands trembling as she tried to explain the craziness of the world.

She loves her mother. Her mother doesn’t deserve this: a heart broken twice over, the death of her husband and subsequent death of the daughter she knew. No, it was easier for Scary to go to Normal’s dad and beg him to use magic to wipe her mother’s memory, to give her a chance to start again.

She hopes that she’s happy, somewhere, somehow. It would make everything worth it.

Hermie stays with her at the new house most often. He, too, couldn’t go back home to his adopted parents after everything, not with how long he’s been gone, the truth of his heritage revealed. Despite it, Scary almost doesn’t mind: she likes the company, surprisingly enough.

Hermie’s mellowed out over the years. Now, at eighteen, she’s been working on her GED just like Scary has, wanting to fly over the world and audition at different colleges. I still think it’d be neat to get on Broadway, they had confessed to Scary once, when the dark of the night had been heavy and oppressive and all they could do was sit on the porch and share a blunt. Feels like a silly goal after the end of the world, though.

When they’re not trying so hard, he’s actually kind of a neat person. Scary finds his company endearing.

They never had gotten their marriage annulled. It was pointless: Taylor’s dad, for all his charms, was legally dead after disappearing when Taylor was a kid, and it would just be too much effort. Scary doesn’t think she minds, even if she hadn’t technically consented to the marriage in the first place.

Tonight, though, Normal is the one visiting. She finds him sitting in the living area, curled up in the pillows, staring wistfully at the TV screen when she comes down the stairs to make herself dinner.

“Hey, Norm,” she greets, softly, watching the way his gaze flickers to her and back again. “What’s wrong?”

“Hi, Terri,” Normal mumbles, and he shifts around a little bit, leaving just enough space for Scary to squeeze in next to him, drawing him into her arms. He goes willingly, pliant against her chest, shivering.

His hair has grown out into a wild mess of curls that he’s braided loosely. It’s cute. He’s cute, although Scary would never admit so out loud.

“Mom’s made some progress with Margaret,” he explains, his tone muffled as Scary starts to work on unbraiding his hair– as it is, it’s half fallen out, and will only make it harder to sleep later, she knows the pain pretty well. “But with Dad spending so much time with my grandparents… I don’t know. It just gives me the creeps. Is that bad?”

“If you want me to tell you you’re not a bad person, you’ve come to the wrong gal,” Scary snorts. “I’m glad to see you though. Feels like it’s been forever since you came to visit last.”

“I might stay for a few days this time. At least until Dad gets back. She told me that she’d be finding an apartment when she came back to San Dimas, so I won’t have to deal with Margaret smiling at me all the time.” Normal shudders, and he makes a quiet whimpering sound as Scary’s fingers brush a little too close to his neck.

“Stay as long as you want, seriously,” Scary tells him. “Hermie’s been practicing monologues at me again, and let me tell you, I did not miss the method acting one bit.”

Normal laughs at that, and then they fall quiet.

For some reason, he’s the easiest one to deal with, in the aftermath of it all. Link is just… angry at the world, and all the sweet charm that had attracted Scary to him in the first place is gone, replaced with a quiet frustration. Oh, he’s still the loyal teddy bear to them and the others, but even as he repairs things with Grant…

…he hasn’t been the same, after it all.

Then again, had any of them? Scary thinks if she told her younger self that one day she’d be here, living in an extravagant house paid by a famous voice actress, holding Normal Oak in the closest facsimile to a relationship she’s ever had… well, she’d think it was a crazy fever dream, for sure.

It’s nice. Scary’s had the concept of family broken and plastered with glue and duck-tape and then broken again, but somehow she’s found it, and she’s found it here: playing with Normal’s hair, twisting the curls in her fingers now that it’s freed from its constraints, his head tucked into her chest, body pliant against hers.

It’s the closest thing to love that she has, and by the Gods Above, she’s going to take it.

“Norm, I can feel you falling asleep against me,” she finally says, snickering with amusement at the way Normal only hums in response. “Do you wanna change first? Or at least go upstairs?”

“I’m already comfy right here,” he replies, the pout evident in his tone, and to punctuate it, he nuzzles further into her chest, nudging Scary backwards until she’s comfy herself against the arm of the couch, Normal crumpled in her arms. Here, their legs are intertwined, and she can still play with his hair, and the blankets they keep on the couch for this specific reason are all tangled around them.

“You’re gonna have to deal with my backache tomorrow,” she warns, but she can’t keep the smile out of her tone, and she hesitates, and then commits, leaning in to press a kiss to Normal’s forehead. “Get some rest, dork. I’ll get Hermie to make us pancakes in the morning.”

“Hermie’s pancakes suck,” Normal huffs, but as his breath evens out, Scary just smiles again.

It’s not what she pictured for herself, sure, but in this moment? There’s nowhere else she’d rather be.

[faustiandevil]

I missed my fly bois. Recently rewatched Carlton-Browne of the F.O. with @soapkaars and every time Terry-Thomas and Thorley Walters were on screen I would go “It’s them! It’s Dick Dastardly and Red Max! My baby bois!”. They don’t match each other’s freak, they match each other’s stupid. Braincells are in the negative. I couldn’t capture Thorley Walters’ perfect wall-eyed expression so I just opted for something cute and gave Max the dot eyes, as Dick is dying next to him. I also had the brilliant idea to make a parody of that good line from Porco Rosso. For the last drawing I tried to use the Japanese covers from Dastardly and Muttley, because they managed to further improve a peak design and mixing it with Olaf Gulbransson’s War is a Business, because I just really liked the shapes and folds on that one.

If Hanna-Barbera weren’t cowards and put Red Max in Dastardly and Muttley it would go a little bit like this (this is my propaganda to get people to watch Carlton-Browne):

[merv606]

Daniel having NO IDEA that eating ass was a thing and is totally confused when Terry parts and legs and sips his head down there…is adorable, hilarious, and hot all at once lol. Daniel didn’t even know guys did this (then again, he was 98% clueless about male/male sexytimes so…). I bet he finds the idea of it dirty and shocking and horrifying—until Terry actually does it to him. Bless the baby. I’m pretty sure he ate Amanda’s pussy real nice, but bluescreen that something very similar could be done to him. Lmao baby boy ♥️

This is a snippet direct from the WIP notes on the first time Terry puts his mouth on Daniel - so spoilers as it should appear, for the most part, in the actual story as it appears here.

Very long and very very so NSFW

The next night, they shower together, Terry paying close attention to his ass, soapy fingers dipping the fingertips inside.

This, this is familiar. Terry has been patient, hadn’t simply bent him over and taken him the other night, like Daniel was expecting. He had gotten Daniel used to something touching him there; used to his ass being played with; how it feels. Now it seems the next step might be those finger inside.

Terry grabs something just out of Daniel’s sight, coating a single finger in lube.

“Terry,” he tries, but Terry kisses him, swallowing the gasp as a single finger, with some difficulty, slips inside, up the first knuckle.

“So damm tight,” the older man groans, his cock straining in to be what’s inside him now- to feel that perfect heat wrapped around his cock. Although, he’s so tight Terry also knows it wouldn’t be good for either of them.

“Relax for me baby. l you need to relax,” he soothes, back to kissing him to distract.

Terry would give Daniel something to help him relax, both his body and his mind, make it easier to accept Terry, but he doesn’t want any of his boy’s senses dulled; not for this.

“Ohhh,” he gasps when Terry releases his lips, pressing his cheek to Daniel, whispering again to, “relax for me,” as the finger inside is pushed further in, to the second knuckle now, not stopping until it’s all the way in.

A hand on Terry’s chest, and the old man looks into his eyes, tucking some wet hair behind Daniel’s ear. “Only what you can handle. I promise.”

Kissing down his throat. “Remember how good it felt last night. Me touching you here,” and the finger is withdrawn, rubbing around his hole, seeming to spasm with each pass of the finger over it. “This is going to feel ever better. Trust me.”

Not like he has a choice. He’s given himself to the older man.

Terry grabs the lube, covering two fingers now, and Daniel takes a deep breath to calm himself, knowing the older man is right.

Two fingers now, slowly massaging his entrance before the pressure becomes more insistent, their intent clear.

Terry lifts Daniel’s leg, holding it up against his with a large hand under his thigh, the two fingers pushing in.

Once inside, Terry doesn’t move them, just has them deep inside, like he’s letting Daniel get used to being so full, his body adjusting to having something inside it in such a way.

The water cascades down them, the steam on the shower glass, the warmth enveloping them, although the heat seems to be coming from within him now, as Terry’s fingers finally start to move.

It feels, odd. Now that the discomfort of the stretch has faded, it doesn’t hurt, just feels like a pressure deep inside him. He really doesn’t see the appeal of such a thing. At least he doesn’t until ….

He shouts, a cry really, morphing into a shaky moan, and Terry can tell Daniel is surprised it came from him - not expecting it as his eyes fly open.

“What,” he gasps. “What was that?” his hips working as much as they can in this position, trying to get those fingers to touch that spot again even if he doesn’t realize it. His boy is a natural.

“Your prostate,” Terry smirks.

“Oh god,” he whimpers, grasping the older man’s arms as he brushes over it again.

“This is going to what makes it worth your while. It’s going to have you your spreading your legs for me …. Again and again,” he growls.

Terry licks over a peaked nipple, feeling how much his boy likes that by the feel of his ass clenching around his fingers.

“God, your body is so responsive, sweetheart.”

It’s to be expected, Daniel has never had anything up there.

Not even so much as a finger.

Until now anyway.

He tried himself one night, a finger circling his rim but it always brought back memories and feelings of Terry.

And the closet Amanda got was a finger slipping between his cheeks when he was fucking her, her hands gripping his ass to urge him on.

His boy also seems quite shy with the attention Terry pays to his chest, but he’ll get used to that just like he will Terry inside him like this.

His body is a bit more lax, as Terry gently moves them in and out, his fingers moving in and out easier and easier.

Soapy fingers again, cleaning him out almost, and he’d be embarrassed but Terry had already asked him when he used the bathroom last.

At this point Daniel doesn’t think there are any secrets between them, definitely no mysteries, not on his end anyway. He doesn’t think there could be.

A third finger teases his hole, but that might be too much. Good it feels but Daniel also knows he feels impossibly full with just the two thick fingers. He can’t take much more inside. Not yet.

“Terr ….”

“Shhh,” the older man soothes, cutting him off. “Only what you can handle. I never lie to you,”and Daniel falls silent as he feels himself turned.

“Terry,” he tries again, panicked, but instead of the larger body pressing against him and the feel of his cock against his ass like he was expecting, Terry drops to his knees and spreads his cheeks.

A deep groan. “God, everything about you is perfect,” Terry remarks before he quickly licks up over the tiny little hole - his soon to be prize. Barely enough to taste him like Terry wants to, but he wants to gauge his boy’s reaction.

Daniel gasps, mouth falling open, water for the shower cascading down into his mouth, which he inadvertently swallows, and he starts to cough.

He’s not sure exactly …. Did Terry just lick his hole he thinks. Is that even a thing, but before he can truly process it, the older man spits, and although it’s quickly washed away with the rivets of water running down his back and between his spread cheeks, it’s not his mouth again but his fingertips touching along the width, featherlight, not invasive, just massaging and relaxing the tightly drawn muscle.

Maybe he imagined it. Maybe it was just the sensation of the water and Terry so close to him as he was spread so intimately by the older man.

That can’t actually be a thing… or something Terry would want to do.

Can it?

Terry’s mouth practically waters as he looks at his boy’s hole, his hands holding his cheeks open so Terry’s eyes can at least drink their fill.

So small and tight; as perfect as he’ll ever be.

Terry is going to ruin him.

Absolutely wreck that ass in the best way. Make it so only Terry can ever fill it like it needs.

He wraps a hand around his own aching cock, stroking it the sight, licking his lips m, swearing he can taste his boy there. Better than anything he’s had.

He can’t help himself. It’s too inviting and he licks over it again, and Daniel’s knees almost buckle.

“Terry,” he shouts, so loud Terry knows there is no way some of the staff didn’t hear it. As much as that does for Terry’s ego, the staff is paid for their discretion, and he wants everyone to know how go he gives it to his boy, Terry can also hear that Daniel is a bit freaked out.

He sighs. He doesn’t want to ruin the progress they’ve made but Terry has needs, and his patience is wrought.

He will have his boy like this.

Tonight.

Before the night is out, his boy will come on his mouth, of that he is sure.

Maybe it will be best to do this on a bed. Have his boy exactly how he wants him and eat his fill there.

Fingers on his hole again, and he can see his boy relax, as Terry wraps a hand around his cock, jacking him off but not letting him come.

He needs him desperate to come so he’ll be more willing and accepting of Terry’s mouth on him there.

His boy, by the end, will want for Terry’s mouth on him like that all the time. Of that Terry is sure. Like everything, he just needs Terry to show him, and that is something Terry is always willing to do.

Give his boy what he needs even when he doesn’t realize what that is. Show him the things he’s been sorely missing.

And he has, because an ass like that, never used in such a way. A body as responsive as that. It is everything Terry has been imagining and more. He knows this will be a case of the real thing being even better.