#Trigger warning: mentions of murder of trans people

[ash-is-aro]

I realise I haven't talked much about trans stuff on here, but this is important.

WARNING: I will be talking about the murder of trans teen Brianna Ghey, so if that makes you uncomfortable then just don't read this

Brianna Ghey's killers- have finally been named as Scarlett Jenkinson and Eddie Ratcliffe. Jenkinson has been sentenced to 22 years in prison and Ratcliffe 20. The actual murder took place on the 12th February 2023. (I would write the short date but then Americans would think I meant the 2nd of November). At the time of the murder, Brianna's killers were both 15 (they're 16 now) and Brianna was 16. They had been close friends since they were 11. They had a kill list of 4 people. Unfortunately, Brianna made friends with Scarlett. This caused her to come to the top of their list. On the 11th February 2023, Brianna agreed to meet Scarlett in culcheth linear park. When she arrived, Eddie and Scarlett stabbed her at the same time. One of them stabbed her in the stomach and the other stabbed her in the back. They stabbed her more times afterwards before running away. At first, the media attempted to convince people that the motive for murder was Scarlett's serial killer obsession. Now, however, it has been understood that her murder was a transphobic hate crime. I remember hearing it mentioned on the radio once. We had a conversation that went something like this:

Me (having researched the case)- I've heard quite a lot about that case

My mum- yeah it's been on the news a lot

Sister- what happened?

Me- a girl called Brianna was killed for being trans

My mum- it turns out it's not actually to do with them being trans

I remember hearing wanting desperately to tell my mum that a) she should not be using they/them pronouns for a dead trans person who used she/her pronouns because it's kinda fucked up misgendering a dead girl and b) her death was because of transphobia. You can argue that it was because of a serial killer obsession as much as you like but there was a reason that she was at the top of their kill list and that reason is that she was trans. Trans people are dying. Don't you dare to try and feed me any of your transphobic bullshit. Things are not ok.

Thank you for reading to the end. To all of the non cis people reading this, I'm really proud of you and I love you. Keep going. It will get better <3

[scandinavianfairytale]

Look at you

Pairing: Captain Hydra x Reader

Warnings: Dark fic, 18+, Steve is not a good guy in this, stalking, obsession, kidnapping, mentions of fighting, murder in self-defense, mentions of blood, stabbing, cursing, threats, intimidation, smut (non-con, unprotected sex (STDs are no joke, make sure you're using protection), rough sex, praising, degradation, multiple creampies, excessive cum, fingering, multiple rounds, passing out during sex). 😬

A/N: This is a VERY DARK work of FICTION, please DO NOT READ if any of the warnings trigger you, you are a minor or you find any of them disturbing. 🙏

Steve has been observing the scene from the shadows. He liked playing with his food first and you looked absolutely delicious. Prim and proper woman, with your perfectly pressed white shirt, now sporting crumpled sleeves from when his men grabbed you and brought you to him.

He loved seeing the fight-or-flight response live. There was something so satisfying seeing all thoughts running through his victims’ head as if they didn't know they were so transparent. In most cases everyone's first instinct was to flee from seven potential assailants, but then there was you.

It was almost liberating to see you scanning the room for something. Everyone's eyes stopped at the door, but yours skipped through it as if you knew escape wasn't an option.

Steve was surprised when your eyes stopped at the corner of the room where the pool sticks were neatly put away after yesterday's game of pool. Shoving one of the men away you made a beeline for the sticks, kicking back at another man as he grabbed at your hips to stop you and grabbing one of the sticks before breaking it over your knee.

After that it was like watching a play at the opera. His men fell one by one, some were stabbed, some were unconscious and the last one was pinned to the wall. You thought you had won. If you could call killing people a win...Your victory was short-lived as clapping pulled you out of your trans.

"Well well well, look at you." Steve's voice was low, tainted in amusement as he circled you. Specs of blood littered your face and your previously pristine white shirt. Your grip on the broken wooden pool stick tightened as something similar to panic started rising in your chest. You knew this man.

Steve Rogers.

Captain Hydra.

The man that everyone feared. And you knew at that moment that this was all for nothing. You were in the belly of the beast and even if you managed to run away, you wouldn't get far.

"Come on, Gorgeous, this isn't the time to give up. Show me that fire again. I loved the show you just put on for me." Steve gripped your chin, making you meet his cold blue eyes. He could see how you were trying to decipher his words, trying to understand if he was serious. Your hands pushed him away the next second and for the sake of being dramatic Steve stumbled a few steps back, as if you actually had the strength to match a super soldier.

"Why am I here?" You demanded, but your voice betrayed you. You both knew you were scared, but too proud to actually just stand there and surrender. And that's what Steve liked about you. He found another one that will put up a fight and it made his whole body tremble in anticipation of what's to come.

"I got bored of my previous toy and I needed a new one." He said nonchalantly. Your face contorted in disgust.

"Why me?"

"I liked the fire in you." He cocked his head to the side, observing you and you shifted your stance as his eyes wondered down your body. You have never felt more exposed while fully clothed as you did in this moment. "When you slapped your date when he went in to grab your ass." A shudder ran down your spine. He has been watching you.

"What? Did you think I picked you at random?" He let out a chuckle. "Oh, Sweetheart, I've been watching you for weeks. I saw all those little dances in your underwear when you thought no one was paying attention even though you never closed the curtains." Steve took a step towards you and your legs trembled, but still you took a step back. "And I heard all those phone calls to your friends and home visits. I heard all the songs you sang in the shower. And all those little moans you let out in your bedroom." He was standing in front of you, your back against the wall and his breath tickled your ear, making you shiver. There was nowhere to run or hide anymore. He consumed everything in your field of vision. "Oh, Doll, you have no idea what you did to me." He reveled in the paralyzing fear you exhumed.

"P-People will know I'm gone." You tried challenging.

"No they won't. You just took a sabbatical and are volunteering in Colombia." His hand caressed you face in a loving matter. "And depending on how long I'll find you interesting, that's how long your volunteering trip is going to last as well as your time alive on this Earth."

You turned away from him as tears stung your eyes. He kissed the top of your head, making you shut your eyes and tears fall down your cheeks. Clenching your teeth, you refused to sob for the man in front of you.

"It'll be alright, Doll. I can make it good for you, make you enjoy the last moments of your life." His hands wandered over your pulse point and gripping your hips, pulling you to him. "But only if you behave."

Panic started consuming you, more tears blurred your vision as the situation he described sunk into your soul.

What are you going to do to escape this monster? There has to be something - anything. The promises he made, made you nauseous.

Your vision focused on the knife that was poking out of one of the unconscious men. If you could just get your hands on the knife...maybe you could do some damage. Or at least piss him off so much that he kills you on the spot. Anything was better than the insinuation Captain Hydra made.

"What do you want from me?" You finally asked, still refusing to look at him.

"Giving up so soon?" Steve mocked. "I want you to keep me company, especially after missions." He smirked as he thought of all the scenarios of when and how he's going to play with you. Bile rose in your throat as you imagined it, but sensing that Steve relaxed for a second, you dove for the knife, grabbing it just in time as he grabbed your ankle to pull you back to him. You let yourself be dragged towards him, before slashing across his arm and scrambling to your feet, running around the pool table stationed in the middle of the room.

"Bitch." Steve smirked and licked at his wound. He could see how fast your chest was raising and falling. He knew you were scared and panicking, seeking an exit. Like a cornered animal faced with a predator. He liked games like this.

"What's the plan, Doll?" He asked as you rotated around the table.

"I'm improvising." You bit back.

"There's no escape. Even if you manage to kill me, by some miracle, we are so far underground that you will never come back to surface again. But if you play nice...I might even let you see the sun and breathe some fresh air again." Steve offered, but you shook your head. You weren't delusional, overpowering a super soldier was never going to happen but...he could at least put you out of your own misery and just kill you. As you walked around the pool table again, you quickly tried running at the bar, to grab some alcohol to throw at him, making the wound sting. Steve jumped over the pool table grabbing at the knife to pull it out of your hand, but you turned just in the right second and stabbed his calf, making him yell out in pain. Your victory was short-lived as he grabbed you by the neck, twisting you around and slamming you on the pool table, keeping you pinned by the neck. Your hands searched the pool table for something to grip or throw or hit him with, but all they encountered was the soft surface.

"I was going to play nice, Doll, but fuck this little stunt just cost you that privilege." He pulled the knife out of his wound and cut through your jeans, pulling them apart, exposing your ass to his eyes. He ran his fingers over your slit, making you squirm, wanting to get away from him, but he kept you in one place with his strength.

"Relax, I'm not going in without at least a bit of prep. I don't want to ruin you for the rest of our time together." Steve whispered into your ear as his fingers entered you and started exploring the dry hole. He went deep, deeper than you could ever reach alone and he found your spot that always made your eyes roll to the back of your head.

"Ah there it is." He smirked as he started massaging that spot and juices started collecting around your entrance. Your body started responding on its own and your hips started meeting his invading fingers.

"There we go, nice and wet." Steve pulled his fingers out of you and licked them clean, before you could hear his pants coming off. Warning bells sounded in your head and you tried lifting yourself up, gathering all your strength, but you were immediately slammed back down and a sharp slap landed over your pussy, making you whimper.

"Be a good little girl and take this cock." Was all he said before he slammed into you. Steve groaned as his tip kissed your cervix and he saw your hands balling into fists. He knew he just broke you. You weren't broken yet, but he'll get you there soon.

"You fit like a glove." He commented with a smile and pulled almost completely out before slamming in again. Your poor pussy took his assault as he unleashed his stress and punishment. And he unleashed it over and over again. He kept fucking you for the next few hours, making both of you cum too many times. Pain turned to pleasure and then back to pain as he pulled orgasm after orgasm out of you. You were completely spent, barely hanging on to consciousness, your abused overstuffed pussy leaked his cum and it oozed onto the pool table and the floor. But Steve was still hard.

"Come on, I'm ready for another round." He slapped your pussy again and your knees buckled, too sensitive from all the rough treatment you received from the super soldier. Steve was unbothered by your state, grabbing one of your legs, he put it on top of the pool table, exposing your messy pussy to him.

"Did my little hole had enough?" He chuckled as he gripped his cock and ran it through your pussy lips, making you whimper.

"Please. Too much." You begged, barely above a whisper. Clenching your pussy, you tried with the last ounce of strength to make him stop, be he just chuckled at your futile attempt.

"I'm not done with you. You only rest when I say so." The super soldier said before he slammed into you again. You yelled out in pain as your walls were met with another intrusion. Your vision blurred as his hand pressed your clit harshly, trying to make you cum again. You couldn't fight him anymore and your eyes closed, as you chased unconsciousness and the last thing that crossed your mind as Steve made you cum, was how much of this you'll be able to take if this was going to continue.

Thank you for reading! 🙏💙

The picture was taken off Pinterest (though I think it's actually from DeviantArt) so all credit for the picture goes to the artist! 😊🙏

I think this is the darkest thing I have ever written 😬 trifect of abuse - physical, mental and sexual abuse...sorry about that 😬😅

[hp-hcs]

•smut• no sleep till brooklyn — yandere! toxic as hell! theodore nott x ftm! reader

prompt #9 of the slytherin boys x reader thingy i made

9) Theodore Nott + smut + angst + No Sleep Till Brooklyn — Beastie Boys

this man istg 😭🥵

reader is trans ftm, reader has afab anatomy

tws: dub-con (ish?), murder, violence, reader has afab anatomy, reader wears a binder, mentions of past misgendering, possessive & obsessive behavior, incredibly manipulative behavior, more plot than smut because the author is an asexual virgin 🫥

2.5k words long, the smut doesn’t start until 1.2k words in 😐

also theo’s pretty fucked up in this soooo- please don’t be in murderous, manipulative, toxic, obsessive, and/or possessive relationships just for the aesthetic. you deserve better than that.

Warning! Smut ahead! MDNI! (you will anyways let’s be honest)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Based on these lyrics from Beastie Boys’ No Sleep Till Brooklyn:

‘…My job ain't a job, it's a damn good time’ & ‘…Itchy trigger finger but a stable turntable/ I do what I do best because I'm willing and able’

~~~

“Theodore! Stop, please!” you fall to your knees in front of him, fresh tears leaving streaks against your otherwise dirt- and ash-smudged face. Your hands clasp together in a pleading manner as you look up at him desperately.

He looks down at you with no emotion. Like your pleas are nothing more than a mild irritation to him.

More appeals for mercy fall from your lips, your words too jumbled together for even yourself to make out. Your two muggleborn friends remain huddled in the corner, clinging to each other in fear.

Finally, Theodore speaks. “Your wand,” his voice emotionless and cold as he holds his hand out expectantly, showing off that vile tattoo as he does so.

You shakily draw your wand from your robes, gently setting it in his hand. As your fingertips brush against his palm, you shiver.

You could swear you feel him shudder too.

With no preamble, he whips around and mutters,

“Avada Kedavra.”

Your friends.

You watch them fall. Everything feels like it’s in slow motion. They crumble, their lifeless bodies hitting the floor with a sickening crack!

He killed them. He killed them. He killed them. Theodore Nott killed your best friends with your wand.

“You motherfucker!” you shriek, lunging at him and tackling him to the ground. He draws in a sharp gasp as you claw furiously at him, practically straddling him as you knot your fingers in his hair to slam his head into the ground.

He groans in pain, dropping his wand while scrabbling for a grip on your frantic wrists. Theodore grunts as he swings a leg over, using the momentum to quickly switch your positions.

He breathes heavily as he hovers over you, his eyes widening and cheeks flushing as he realizes the rather compromising position you both are in. Kneeling between your thighs, your knees pressed against his hips. Both of his hands wrapped around your wrists, pressing them into the floor. You defiantly glaring up at him, nothing but pure burning hatred in your eyes. You writhe under him, scowling and trying to wrench your wrists from his grasp.

“Y/N- Y/N, calm down,” He soothes. “It’s okay, just calm down.”

“Calm down?! You motherfu-”

“Yes, yes, I know. You can curse me out all you want once we get out of here, okay?” He says in a soft tone, moving his hands up to hold both of your wrists in one and free up the other. He cups the side of your face with his free hand, running his thumb along your cheekbone.

You freeze up. “Theo..?”

He smiles down at you with an unnervingly happy grin on his face for someone who had just murdered two people. “I love it when you say my name like that, pretty boy.”

You remain still, completely bewildered and unsure of what to do. He keeps stroking your cheek with a mesmerized look on his face, tracing each of your features like he wants to memorize them.

You tremble slightly, your mind frantically running in circles to make sense of the situation.

Okay. Theodore thinks I’m pretty. That’s good.

Theodore murdered my friends. Bad.

He’s being very sweet and careful. Good.

Murdered my friends. Bad.

“Stop thinking so much, darling,” he mumbles breathily, his thumb trailing down from your cheekbone to your lower lip, dragging it down and watching it spring back up.

“You killed them,” you whisper back, still in disbelief.

Theodore, at least, has the mind to look remorseful. “I’m sorry, precious. But they weren’t a loss.”

“They were my friends! They were my friends and you killed them!”

“Do friends refuse to call you he?” Theo points out scornfully, his face twisting into something much crueler, his thumb rubbing obsessively over a spot at the base of your throat. “I’m your friend, Y/N, sweetheart. You don’t need anyone else, do you?”

Your breath quickens.

He wouldn’t kill me, right?

What would he do if I made him mad?

“I…I guess I don’t.” You say carefully, the phrase walking on eggshells suddenly making a lot more sense as you stare up into his wild eyes.

Suddenly, the crazed look is gone, and Theodore goes back to grinning happily at you as he leans down to peck your forehead.

“See? There’s a good boy. All for me. Mine.”

He leans back up and reaches out for his wand, laying discarded on the floor, and smiles at you once more. You then feel an odd sensation, a bit like what you would imagine squeezing through a tight rubber tube would feel like, and find yourself sprawled out on the freezing, dusty, marble floors of a very rich manor—Theo still on top of you, although now crushing you with his body weight and looking quite a bit out of breath from the exertion of Apparating.

Your chest heaves from the unfamiliar sensation, your head pounding. Theo suddenly scrambles to his feet, leaning down and hoisting you up as if you weighed nothing. Startled and dazed, you stumble at the sudden movement—straight into Theodore’s chest.

He makes a happy sound, wrapping his arms around you tightly and laying his cheek on the top of your head. “Good boy! See? I knew you loved me!”

As much as you hate to admit it, Theo gives a damn good hug.

Merlin, stop it, Y/N! He. Murdered. Your. Friends.

(horny jail, Y/N)

You shiver again, from his touch or from the coolness of the mansion, you aren’t sure.

“Wh-where are we, Theo?” You ask softly, mentally cursing yourself for how small your voice sounds.

“My house,” he responds, eyes closed, a dreamy look on his face. “They’ll never find you here.”

You shiver again.

“Are you cold?” He asks, his eyes opening to look down at you.

You start to reply, but are cut off by Theodore suddenly scooping your legs out from under you and starting to carry you up the grand staircase that dominates the foyer.

You squeak, gripping onto his shoulders in fear. He full on giggles, leaning in to kiss your cheek.

“I’m not going to drop you, love.”

He reaches the top of the stairs, entering the first doorway he reaches. It’s a tastefully decorated bedroom, with soft sage walls and lots of tiny things that are just purely Theo.

A pair of dragon-hide boots he got for Yule by the door. A poster for a well-known Quidditch team on the ceiling. A half-finished pack of Camels on the nightstand. The World’s Sluttiest Dad mug Pansy had given him for his birthday last year as a gag gift, now being used as a makeshift ashtray.

Theo carefully deposits you on the center of the large, messy bed as he heads back over to the French doors (fucking rich people) that you’d just entered from, shutting them quietly.

Propping yourself up on one elbow, you watch him return to the bedside like lovesick puppy, toeing off his shoes before clambering onto the bed next to you. He goes back to kneeling over you, his knees on either side of your hips, before gently pushing your elbow out so that you lay back down. He holds himself up by his hands on either side of your head, looking at you for a long moment.

Not moving, just…observing.

He drops down to his forearms, wasting no time in pressing his lips against yours.

You don’t kiss back, frozen underneath him.

Murdered your friends. Bad.

His thumb goes back to sweeping over your cheekbone as his hands cradle your head with the utmost admiration.

Bad. Murdered. Bad. Frien. Bad. Murd. Ba-

You kiss back.

He makes the most delighted sound you’ve ever heard, kissing you with more passion at your reciprocation. He nips at your lower lip, soothing the immediate sting with his tongue.

His hands wander down from the back of your head to your chest, fingers fumbling with the buttons of your uniform shirt. One by one he unbuttons them.

One by one your doubts and guilty thoughts vanish.

When Theodore finally manages to get your shirt open and off, he smooths his hands down the front of your binder. He groans softly into your mouth, his hands running over the flat planes of your chest with utter reverence.

He pulls away from your mouth to lean down and kiss your collarbone, his tongue tracing the along the dip of your throat.

“Pretty boy,” he mumbles again, more to himself than anything. Every motion, every action he makes seems to be fueled by pure devotion to you.

You gasp as he kisses over a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, the fingers you have laced in his hair tugging pleadingly.

“T-Theo-” you beg quietly. What you’re begging for, you’re not quite sure.

He seems to know though. His hands tug at the button of your uniform pants, unzipping them and tugging them down quickly. You pull at his hair again and he moans against your throat.

“Fuck, darling,” he sighs against your skin, tugging down your boxers and gripping at your hips. “So pretty. So gorgeous. All for me.”

“For you,” you agree. “Yours.”

He growls, kissing you again, this time with much more possession behind it. “Mine.”

Your hands slide down from his hair to his shoulders, then to his chest. Reaching for the hem of his t-shirt, you tug it upwards, coaxing him to let go of your hips for just a minute so you can remove the damned thing.

He reluctantly acquiesces, letting go of your body just for a second so he can slip off his shirt and wriggle out of the rest of his clothes, but then his hands are back on you, everywhere. He reattaches your mouths like he’s dying of dehydration and your lips are a damn oasis. You sigh comfortably into his mouth, hesitantly brushing your hand over his chest and admiring his figure.

(Although you’d never admit that’s what you were doing. His ego doesn’t need that.)

While you’re distracted by his abs (sweet Merlin, Theodore Nott has abs), he takes the opportunity to slide one finger inside of you. You squeak in surprise, hips bucking up instinctively.

He laughs softly against your mouth, curling his finger teasingly. You moan desperately, rocking your hips downwards against his hand.

“Needy little thing, aren’t you?”

You can’t help but whimper at his words, nodding quickly—doing anything just so he’ll give you more. He laughs again, adding a second finger and starting to move them at a tantalizingly slow pace. Before long, he’s added his ring finger, reducing you to a pathetic, whimpering mess beneath him.

Suddenly, he removes all of his fingers, making your eyes fly open and a displeased whine leave your throat. He shushes you softly, patting your thigh while he rolls on a condom. (wrap it before you tap it, you funky lil sluts &lt;3)

He chucks the empty wrapper into the void where all of your other clothes disappeared to, climbing on top of you and leaning in close.

“Are you sure you want this, love? Just say the word and I’ll stop.”

“If you stop now, I will castrate you, Nott, I swear to Merlin-”

The rest of your threat is suddenly cut off by Theo lining up against you and slowly pushing in. You dissolve into a puddle of moans, fingers scrabbling at his shoulders and clawing at his back.

“H-holy fuck- you're so big-” you whimper, head falling back against the pillows and eyes squeezing shut. He pauses for a minute, rubbing your side reassuringly.

“That's it, there you go, just breathe for me, sweetheart,” Theo coos, wiping a lone tear from your cheek. After a moment, you let out a shaky breath and nod for him to continue. He slowly presses the rest of the way in, his body trembling with the exertion of staying still so that you can get comfortable.

Theodore swallows thickly, mumbling something under his breath about you being so fucking tight, sweet Salazar.

You nod your assent again and he slowly pulls out before pushing back in, causing both of you to moan loudly. You lean up to kiss him, almost reverently, and grip his shoulders like a lifeline. The muscles in his back and shoulders move under your hands with every thrust of his body, making your cheeks flush because holy fuck that’s hot.

“Faster,” you beg, delighted when he immediately complies. Theodore's hands roam over the fabric of your binder, fingertips creeping under the hem as he groans loudly.

“Ain’t gonna last much longer, love,” he pants into your shoulder, dragging his fingers down from your chest and to the bundle of nerves outside of your body. His fingers circle around it, not bothering to tease you any further, instead just focused on making you cum.

“Shit!” You curse loudly, raking your nails up his back. “Don’t stop!”

His fingers speed up, finally pushing you over the edge. Your body shudders and shakes around him as Theo finishes inside of you with a guttural moan, his arms trembling before giving out and making him collapse on top of you.

You both pant wildly, desperately trying to catch your breaths. Theo groans and slowly pulls out, wincing in sympathy as you whimper. Tying off the condom and tossing it in the general direction of the trashcan (hooray for safe sex!), he rolls over to collapse back down next to you.

You roll over as well, curling into his side and resting your head on his chest. He looks down at you, surprised, but smiles broadly and runs his hands through your hair.

“I’m still pissed at you,” you mumble sleepily into his chest.

“I could make it up to you,” he suggests slyly, trailing one hand down to your hip.

You snatch up the wandering hand, bringing it back up somewhere safe. “Nope. Don't test your luck tonight.”

He sighs overdramatically, nuzzling his face into the top of your head. “You’re so mean to me.”

“Indeed. How do you ever survive being so bullied?”

He pouts. “Maybe you ought to make it up to me, then. Why don’t you give me a kiss, love?”

You roll your eyes fondly, leaning up and pressing a soft kiss against his mouth.

“See? I knew you loved me.”

“If we hadn’t just had sex literally five minutes ago, I’d tell you to go fuck yourself, Nott.”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

first time ever writing smut, can confidently say i’m going to hell now

i’ll send y’all a postcard when i get down there 🫡

if you could tell that i’ve never had sex just from this shitty oneshot, then shush no you can’t

not edited. probably will never be edited. i know myself well enough to know that if i ever read this again, i’ll have a mental breakdown and delete this entire account.

[veryinnovative]

here it is for ppl wondering: main ships and tags. most of this is subject to change. (click here for the fic's tag) (click here for like an old summary-ish post) THIS FIC IS UNPUBLISHED

Pandemonium is an original work transformed into a piece of fanfiction. It’s inspired by a lot of science fiction works, namely The Walking Dead and some others I can’t name for the sake of spoiling. This is going to be a long fic, a fanfic magnum opus if anything.

There will be some moments with dysphoria sprinkled throughout the fic because I always wondered how a trans person would experience an apocalypse. Also, yes, there’s some brief mpreg in the fanfiction. Yes, it’s integral to the story. I understand 100% that reading about pregnancy is not everyone's thing, so I will publish a separate bit. It’s essentially the prologue, but the bits with pregnancy are just mentioned in passing or simply summarized and/or omitted to the best of my ability. There is no other mpreg in the rest of the fic, though Regulus' pregnancy may be referred to now and then.

There are some character age inaccuracies but it was the only way of making this work and still including some favorites in a way I wanted them to be in the storyline. This is going to be heavy and quite angsty. Minor characters will die. Major characters with a POV can or will die too, hence the MCD warning. This warning extends to the people of all listed main pairings. Whether by suicide, sacrifice, tragic endings, murder, environmental hazards, zombies, or a combination of all. Again, things will get quite triggering at times so please mind the tags! There will be happy moments, but an eventual happy/bittersweet ending is far from sight.

[mxs-space]

More info on the AUs below the cut! (I'll also answer to asks! Or comments! Just ask me if you have any question on the AUs!)

[Young Morioh]

Illustrations + Texts + Infodump

Half theory half AU about the past of Yoshikage Kira an his relationship with his family and Aya Tsuji (will be more centerd on those two/not romantic; not a ship), slide story of Reimi and Shinobu, Tomoko and Tonio mentioned (not Purple Haze Feedback compliant). Mainly made out of the canon scraps about Kira's childhood and the two songs that inspired Aya's stand. Will start wholesome(?) and end quite sad (canon compliant).

TW: Childhood Abuse; Abandonment Issues; Disussion of Identity; Overlooked Neurodivergence; Anxiety; Performing your Personality; and in the end Murder.

[Drag AU]

Illustrations + Texts + Infodump

AU centered on a fictional not fixed in time Drag Queen/Drag King scene. Mostly about the Jofoes, and most of them are just out of character (literally turned half of them into lesbians). Lot of discussion about trans identity too, but in quite a lighthearted way. I honestly just wanted to have fun. Still hesitating about making it KiraBoss, but as I said this will be really out of character. Quite wholesome.

TW: Gender Dysphoria; Mention of Biphobia, Transphobia and Queerphobias in general; slight Misgendering but mainly because they're still figuring things out.

[The Magnus Archives' Discarded Files]

Texts + Requests (may include Illustrations and Records)

Testimonies of people regarding their supernatural encounters. Basically Statements made by persons from an other media (which is why they've been discarded on the first time). No actual spoils on the TMA lore, but if it contains spoilers on the other media, a Trigger Warning will be put at the beginning, along with the list of of other specific TW. Really Dark.

Fandoms I have at least one statement started: Jojo's Bizarre Adventure (+spin offs), Hunter X Hunter (1999; 2011; manga), Doctor Who (only since 11, sorry), Five Night's At Freddy's (most games). As aforementioned, I might make other fandoms, especially if requested.

TW: (well if you know TMA, you know but I'll put some anyway) Horror, Body Horror, Psychological Horror, Fear of the Unknown, Supernatural. More specified TW will be made.

[papakhan]

Lol why would someone even say that. Like... idk im transmasc im personally mortified of the idea of getting pregnant but... its none of my business if another man wants to be pregnant why would there be any judgement there 😭😭😭 plus the post was very funny people need to stop projecting over a sillay little post. Have a good night king the haters dont get it

the thing is I totally understand trans guys being uncomfortable with the concept of (trans) men getting pregnant. In our society its a very gendered concept, it gets fetishised by weirdos online all the time and to a lot of (especially queer) afab people its strongly associated with control and abuse. I totally get it. That was me not so long ago but after a lot of research I became more comfortable with it because I want to have children one day. I shouldn't have to expose this part of myself as a defence against people calling me transphobic when I am literally trans and half the fight for trans people is "my body my choice"

what gets me is that the tumblr fallout community gets in this fucking argument allll the fucking time over whether the fallout universe should be "dark and gritty and ~realistic~" in regards to Everyone being transphobic Or if the wasteland should be some kind of trans haven without the binds of society. I personally lean on the latter and get a lot of comfort out of the idea that the Great Khans specifically are a bastion of trans joy and experience and to them women having dicks and men giving birth is just. normal.

the end goal for trans people should be to de-gender concepts like pregnancy and penis but we're never gonna fucking get anywhere if trans people project their dysphoria onto each other and start self-flagellating themselves whenever someone steps out of line or makes a stupid joke.

And yeah this is an overreaction to someone critising a stupid post of mine but I'm more mad at the wider culture of the fallout community (and tumblr) regarding this topic because like I said shit like this keeps happening. part of my job is about educating people about trans bodies and saying shit like "don't assume who can and can't get pregnant" and trying to help fellow trans people find comfort in a country that's actively trying to get them all murdered. To then log onto tumblr dot com and get called transphobic because I said I love headcanoning Papa as trans and him being able to deflect the Legion's misogyny because of his transness is like a slap to the face. you guys are meant to be the transgender love website what the fuck are you talking about?? Also Saying that I'm enabling transphobia by allowing people who arent trans men to reblog my post is also stupid and for the record most people in my notes right now are either trans people who are genuinely agreeing that Papa is trans or ghost fans who think I'm talking about their band (but are still trans and still agreeing).

sure maybe I should have put a trigger warning on the post or something because it might trigger someone's dyphoria, but just say that. Don't act like I'm the problem and that I'm too stupid to recognise internalised transphobia and calling me "too comfortable with joking about trans bodies" when 1. I wasn't joking About trans bodies and 2. ITS MY FUCKING BODY

My joke was about how Caesar cant handle Papa being trans. it was a joke about how society cant handle trans people who they can't clock. it was also a joke about how Papa comes from a society where transness is so normalised that he wrongfully assumes that its something everyone can do. At no point was I "nasty about trans bodies" like this person claims I was. In fact I think that pretending that I was says more about how they view trans bodies than it does about how I do, That I can mention trans pregnancy and they automatically assume I'm fetishing or being disrespectful.

anyway. that's a lot of shit. thanks for letting me ramble and tucking me into bed so sweetly <3

[legendsoffandoms]

Just to be safe yall, trigger warning for: implied cannibalism, mentions of death, implied mentions of extreme violence

But I was thinking of this au for ninjago, and I think some of yall might like it.

So it’s an au based of Lloyd’s oni and dragon side being like separate consciences inside his brain. But very very different.

So it takes place after season 3 but before season 4. And in which in some weird form of magic, Lloyd gets separated into basically a pair of twins. No one is quite how it happened as Lloyd was obviously on a solo mission. But safe to say, that villain probably didn’t make it out unscathed. Anyways, now there’s well Oni Lloyd and Dragon Lloyd. Who surprisingly get along quite well. But the names are gonna be a problem soon….

Anyways, that’s my idea for the background for this. (The dude that managed to dude this is also definitely dead 😔🙏 ) But now onto some cool facts about this au!

The two of them wear matching necklaces, dragon boi is the white side of the Yang and Oni boi is the black side :3

Oni gets hit a lot by dragon for his quite violent nature, but it’s all in good love. Dragon would totally kill someone if they tried to hurt his twin :3

The ninja were honestly so confused when they met up with Lloyd expecting just him, and instead got two of them…. They also tried to kill them XD it took a lot of explaining and attempted murder to get them to calm down.

Morro was also hella confused. Thought when he kidnapped Dragon he was just kidnapping Lloyd. Dude’s life almost died cause Oni tried to murder him again. The ninja had to stop him multiple times in fear of hurting dragon.

Oni and Dragon have Oni and dragon features, but can hide them if need be. Which has let to lots of confusion on everyone else’s side. And by that I mean no one can tell which one is which if they truly want that. The two are some little ass gremlins.

Jokes on yall, Dragon is Aro and Oni’s Cupio AroAce. Dragon just doesn’t date because he of said Aromanticness (which is he is choice) , and Oni just doesn’t think anyone is good enough for him. [This is more of a hc, please don’t get mad at me 😭]

Kai is both Dragon and Oni’s favorite sibling/teammate other than themselves. Naya is a close second. And everyone is extremely jealous of him.

Lloyd is trans in this au, which does sadly mean some unpleasant times for the twins dude to their unhuman sides. Basically mating season for both of them is quite unpleasant. Kai and Naya are the only ones who can touch the two during said time other than themselves.

Dragon honestly likes Wu a lot (though it slowly fades as the show goes on). While Oni basically silently dislikes him. Oni loves their father a lot more than normal Lloyd openly shows in the show. While Dragon loves him just as much as Lloyd actually shows in the show.

Dragon Lloyd actually quite enjoys the goth aesthetic, while Oni boi likes a more traditional style. Which leads to some interesting conversations with people XD

I think that’s about it for now, I do hopes you enjoyed this new au :3

Also feel free to call them Odi, said O-de, and De-de. Odi is Oni Lloyd and De-de is Dragon Lloyd. The reason? Odi comes from the end of Lloyd, o-y-d, I just placed the Y behind the D and got Odi. Also cause I was like, what’s the first letter of Oni? O, what’s the letters after O in Lloyd? Y and D. And I got De-de from just taking the D from Lloyd and Dragon, then simply saying them and putting an E at the end of each D gives you De-de :3

So I hope you like Odi and De-de! Also another quick note on their powers! The twins both have energy and their respective species element.

Okay for real, I’m done. Do hope you enjoyed this au I made! And have fun with it :3 (with credit of course)

[shroudkeeper]

Hello I have seen it mentioned a few time that Kikyo died at some point, and I was wondering what happened? Of course only you you wanna tell about, she is just a very interesting character to me

Hello anon, I hope you are still around! Thank you so much for asking, Kikyo has indeed died before, and just in case folks are a little uncomfortable with the subjects of death and murder in fiction, please take this as a trigger warning! I changed a few things from when she was initially created, to better flow with what she is now. There is a bit of background information as to what led to this, I will try not to make it too long of a read, apologies!

As war was introduced fully into her once secluded life, she was a young girl who turned to religion to navigate through this landscape of understanding the kami and ultimately what seemed to be a budding relationship with them. Encouraged by her father, she made moves towards becoming a miko(*), moving from her father's practice of onmyōdō. She devoted herself to the kami, and it was no secret to anyone who knew his silent daughter. Though he had hoped she would not make it known.

Even after years of living under oppression and with the Empire planting the seed of hopelessness, Kikyo and the other maidens wished to offer some light in the darkest hours, especially as they learned that the mountain villages were being sought for harboring rebels who escaped. In their sanctums, they offered food and shelter for those who needed it, especially orphaned children, who above all, needed them the most.

However, one could not remain out of the Garlean's reach for long, despite the blessings they had for years, and soon they were discovered. Some were captured, mutilated, and killed. Children bore witness to the ruination of their village, and the sanctums that once offered them peace.. were soon turned to rubble.

Kikyo turned to the kami, hoping that her prayers would be answered and provide her the strength to help her save as many as she could. With the effort of a few brave villagers and her sisters at the shrine, they were able to funnel people out of the mountains, to help them escape and seek refuge in a land that would welcome them and listen to their plight.

However, when planning to lead a group of children, whom she had been teaching sign language to benefit them in addressing her, but in situations where they also needed to communicate quietly, put her in the direct path of a patrol. Kikyo was able to hide them in time, signaling them to remain hidden and quiet, regardless of what happened to her. She was approached, immediately ridiculed for her beliefs once they glanced over the miko garments she was adorned in, slapped across her face when she was unable to verbally address them and explain herself, all the while her beloved children watched as she was dragged back down to the village.

All the while, she hoped the kami would keep the children safe

.. let them live through this.

In the end, all were made to watch as she, and her captured sisters, were made examples of in the village. That this was the outcome for anyone who practiced religion, to stand against them, to give hope.

Steel gauntlets met flesh and air in her lungs burned, their visions blurred, and their nails broke as they tried to claw the arms of imperial samurai who held their lives in their hands. The water soon began to seep into her hakama, as they were forced into the river, whose chilled touch numbed her legs and cemented them to their fate.

Kikyo's saw the silhouettes of the children she helped before, heard the warbled cries of the villagers, and soon was met with only darkness and the quiet lamentations faded into the recesses of her mind.

However, she did come back from darkness, as one intimate with death and life, after experiencing both.. and how that happened, is a tale itself ( inspired by the information provided in the encyclopedia, even! )

(*) I chose her to become a miko because the translation means woman of God and kami/god child - in the end she represents both.

[s1lv3r-4rt]

FUN FACTS FROM STORMBRINGER BECAUSE I'M INSANE

also SB SPOILERS OBVS!!!

ALSO TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR: MENTIONS OF DEATH, MENTIONS OF MURDER, MENTIONS OF TORTURE, DESCRIPTIONS IF HALLUCINATIONS, SEMI-GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF GORE, DESCRIPTIONS OF TORTURE! DO NOT READ IF ANY OF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFY!

-the hat chūya wears during 15/just joined pm is NOT the same hat he wears at 22! he wears verlaine's now! because arahabaki is a bitch!

-doc went to school (at least med school) somewhere in north america! so he probably knows english!

-our chūya is very highly probably the clone! and n is his dad!

-if our chūya isn't the clone, he's not an orphan! we see him watching what seems to be his grandparents in the epilogue!

-his bike is from albatross!

-paul verlaine is actually arthur rimbaud's real name, but rimbaud gave it to our least favorite french assassin when he found him!

-rimlaine canon! (irl verlaine and rimbaud were dating/fucking i will NEVER not bring this up) (because bsd generally keeps relations accurate from irl (like dazai, oda, and ango hanging out at bar lupin))

-if you didn't know, verlaine trained kyōka and gin!

-bsd mary shelley is a scientist who made adam frankenstein! she is also so skrunkly and so swag!

-dazai is a fucking faggot! ("i'm always thinking of ways to annoy chūya.") (I CAN SAY THAT I'M BIROMANTIC AND HOMOSEXUAL AND TRANS I PROMISE)

-dazai, at least from 15-16, lived in a cargo container for transporting cars! he only had a bed, a fridge, a lamp, a desk and chair, and a spare light bulb! all the more reason to burn mori at the stake!

-shirase moved to britain! his and chūya's goodbye was really sweet after what they've been through!

-before becoming an executive, chūya was in charge of taking care of gem smugglers! which was dazai's job before rank climbing! silly little gays!

-chūya has a scar from where shirase stabbed him, as well as a scar on his right wrist with unknown origins (i think it's unknown reading the epilogue was a fucking blur)!

-verlaine is batshit! he was in the trunk of a car with a corpse (i think, he might have been sitting on the trunk lid/door thing)! and then said "*pops open trunk* this bad boy can fit so much lippmann"! and it was described horrifyingly! (smth along the lines of "he watched the body roll out of the trunk with a wet thunk. the body that was lippmann." i will shank asagiri and the translator i read it from /j) also! he open alb's fucking chest! his rib bones were just out in the open! doc's entire lower half was missing!

-pianoman's and iceman's bodies aren't described (lippmann's isn't either, but from the wet thunk we can infer), it's only noted that they're there and in the pile with alb and doc, but we can imagine the bullshit verlaine had to do to get those two down because! pianoman was the leader of the flags and was this 👌 fucking close to becoming an executive! and iceman murders people with his bare hands, fountain pens, hell, i'm pretty sure a table was on that list!

-adding onto that! at the funeral, chūya tells adam that it took the mortician 8 hours to get the bodies even presentable!

-chūya is a really good pool player! he's repeatedly called the "undefeated king" (or smth) by the other flags! the only person who could beat him was adam, and adam's a robot! chū's been playing for the least amount of time, as well as being up to 9 years younger than the others (pianoman was the oldest at 25, iceman is next oldest but we don't have any exact ages except for pianoman), so i guess he's just really good at playing with balls! (hehe)

-lippmann is a famous, FAMOUS actor! he is repeatedly referred to as attractive by the narrator and even doc! it's said that any woman falls for him, and if he were to dress as a woman, the men would fall too! we love an icon!

-lippmann also comments that chūya could/should join him as an actor if he leaves the pm!

-the flags were VERY well known before their deaths! lippmann was basically the face of the pm! iceman was a very well known assassin! albatross was the head of transportation! doc was the best doctor the pm had! pianoman was, again, LIKE 30 SECONDS AWAY FROM BECOMING AN EXECUTIVE! the only less well known one was chūya!

-and that was immediately revoked when he defeated fucking GUIVRE! HE DEFEATED (and to the public/government, killed) THE KING OF ASSASSINS! WHEN SAID KING OF ASSASSINS WAS A FUCKING GODZILLA BOOTLEG WITH THE POWER OF LIKE THREE GODS IN ONE BODY! it is outright stated that every single person in the pm knew of and respected chūya, and this was before he became an executive! he was 16!

-speaking of! he was 16! he had to watch as his brother murdered every person who mattered to him (except for dazai iykyk)! it doesn't matter that adam came back (epilogue)! he had to watch someone who is supposed to care for him destroy his entire life! verlaine is the one who unlocked chū's gate (the ability to use corruption/singularity form)! he is the one who broke chūya down to his fucking base, build him by about 0.5%, then break him even more! he had to learn that he may not even be human! he had to watch his original melt down to his bones before attempting to murder him! that's horrifying!

- speaking of... that^! the original(?) chūya was... let me just summarize it! he was in a cylinder of some kind of liquid, which n drained. that resulted on og chū starting ti fucking suffocate because he'd been in that shit for like- 9 years? maybe even longer! so he started dying. n gave our chū the remote, which resulted in our chū getting og chū out of the cylinder, only able to hold him as the flesh melted off of his fucking bones. imagine that. watching someone (almost) identical to you, your original, melt into nothing. the only thing left being the mush his skin turned into, his clothed skeleton, and the scientist who did it to him.

-hehe! verlaine murdered n by stepping on him (as guivre, but honestly if verlaine wanted to ste-)!

-while in the lab being tortured, chūya has some hallucinations! dazai being a little shit, shirase blaming him for everything that happened to the sheep (and he was joined by the sheep members for a moment), then the flags! the flags, mainly pianoman, told chūya that it wasn't his fault (i think) and that chūya needs to keep going! then verlaine pops up, and chū thinks he's a hallucination until he frees chū!

-speaking of chū's torture! he was chained to a wall with shackles that had barbed wire on the inside, stakes through bullet wounds that would electrocute him, and tubes in his back administering poison(s)! it was genuinely heartbreaking to read as chūya's screams filled mot only the room he was in, but also the entire lab!

-albatross is the one who taught chūya to swim!

[wormwoodandhoney]

As a follow up to my favorite books of the first quarter of the year, here are some of my favorites from April, May, June! In no particular order, just in the order I read them.

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty is a fun, pirate fantasy adventure featuring one of my recently realized favorite tropes: getting the band back together. A retired female pirate just wants to live a quiet life raising her young daughter, when she is recruited to rescue the child of a former crewmate. She must reunite with her old crew and save the day. Killer cover, fun story.

Chlorine by Jade Song is a coming of age body horror novel about a teenaged girl who will do anything to become a mermaid. Slow burn- you know what will happen from the beginning, but it's a deep dive into the mind of this queer young swimmer to watch her get there.

Malice by Keigo Higashino is a Japanese novel translated by Alexander O. Smith about a detective determined to uncover the motive behind the murder of a famous novelist. Loved this why-done-it.

We See Each Other: A Black, Trans Journey Through TV and Film by Tre'vell Anderson is a nonfiction exploration of Black trans representation in pop culture and history, as well as moments from the author's own life. Looks at everything To Wong Foo to Pose to Survivor.

Don't Fear the Reaper by Stephen Graham Jones is the second book in the Indian Lake Trilogy. SGJ is my favorite horror author but his work and ESPECIALLY these books are not for everyone. People either love or hate this series and what can I say? I get it. Graphic here.

VenCo by Cherie Dimaline is about a young Indigenous woman who has to go on an adventure with her unusual and elderly grandmother after she discovers that she's one of seven witches to usher in a new era of power.

Madame Restell by Jennifer Wright is a nonfiction book about a famous abortionist in pre-Gilded Age New York. I found it fascinating, if not incredibly depressing, with how much we recycle the same arguments over and over again. Great read. Trigger warnings for this one, from childbirth to abortion to racism to misogyny.

Clytemnestra by Costanza Casati is a Greek mythology retelling on the titular murderer. As a Clytemnestra apologist, I really liked this. I kind of think so many of Greek retellings these days are all very similar, in writing style & theme so I feel like if you've read one of these recent retellings you've read them all, but I liked it!

Hamra & the Jungle of Memories by Hanna Alkaf is a Little Red Riding Hood retelling set in modern Malaysia, where a girl in a red hijab must help a tiger return to his human form. Really a beautiful story about humanity, grief, and what it means to make mistakes. Also just a fun adventure. Loved it. Graphic here.

You're Not Supposed to Die Tonight by Kalynn Bayron is another final girl horror novel. Look, I'm gonna read all of them and I'm gonna love all of them! You give me a final girl and I'm gonna eat it up. You give me a queer Black final girl trying to survive the night at her camp recreating a famous (fictional) horror movie while trying to protect her girlfriend? Yum, yum, yum.

Honorable mentions: Ayoade on Top is Richard Ayoade's definitive tome on the Gwenyth Paltrow film View From the Top. Get the audiobook for this one for sure! The Three Dahlias is a fun cozy mystery, and Saint Juniper's Folly is a fun queer modern fantasy adventure.

[eva-reviews]

What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher -- A review

Trigger Warnings: Death, murder, gore, mentions of war, mentions of suicide, anxiety, mentions of amputation, misogyny, misgendering, animal dissection, fire. 

My Rating 

9/10 I really liked this book; I have been trying to get back into horror books, and I have to say, this is a really good horror book. I loved how Kingfisher was able to make the grotesque gore sound so beautiful. However, there were a lot of sidenotes which did make things slightly confusing. It was all very interesting, but it did take away from the story every once in a while.

Overview

Alex Easton is a Lieutenant from Gallicia when they get a letter from their childhood friend, Madeline, that she is dying. When they get there they are greeted by hares that don't move correctly, a glowing pond, and a falling-apart manor. There are fungi everywhere, and a strange woman, Ms Potter, a very intelligent mycologist is enamoured by all of it. Madeline sleepwalks and talks in a strange voice and Roddrick is so anxious he jumps at the opening of a door, and the American doctor, Derrick, who is just as clueless as the rest of them. 

My Thoughts 

What Moves the Dead is based on The Fallen House of Usher by Edgar Allen Poe, for the most part, it is a reimagining of Poe’s story. Kingfisher expands on Madiline's illness and she really gives us a lot more detail into the story itself. I loved how this book has undertones of feminism, Ms. Potter talks about the mycology institute and how they won't let her in because of her sex, and how she is going to make such a big discovery that they won't be able to disregard her. Alex Easton agrees with her and supports her fight to be recognized. 

What I loved most about this book, was the use and understanding of pronouns and gender. Easton and the Ushers are all from Gallicia, where they do not use the traditional, he/him, she/her, and they/them pronouns. In Gallicia they use, ta, tha, tan, than for he, she, his, and hers. These are used for adults, and there are more that are used for children being va, van and for priests and nuns they use var. If you were to use va on an adult they would take great offence, and ta on a child and people would think you are a pedophile. There is also a set of pronouns for God and rocks. Lastly, there is a new set of pronouns for soldiers, which has no link to the gender binary, ka and kan, it is extremely rude to use ta on them and it might get you punched. This also means, that due to the new pronouns, gender is no longer applicable. Thus, when a woman became a soldier they could not turn her away, because the laws said that she was now ka, therefore, she was allowed in the military. This brought about “Sworn in Soldiers”, which is what Alex Easton is. Ka is not a woman nor a man, Ka is Ka or in English They. 

This book takes place in 1890, so this is much before the acceptance of queer people. For example, if we look into the UK around this time, in 1885 there was a law against queer people and thus against trans poeple. Also, in 1889, a woman named Mary Mudge died in a workhouse (basiclly a homeless shelter today, but they have to work and many people died. It was a horrible place to be) Mudge passed as a woman her whole life, until her bith sex was revealed during her  postmortem examination. Although trans people and the nonbinary have existed for the entirety of the existence of human kind, they were not widely accepted. It is so interesting to see Easton live as a nonbinary person in an alternet reality, and to see kan be accepted and to see how other interact with kan. 

The eding of the book was crazy. It all of a sudden changed, the pace completely changed and it really became a horror book. They do a dissection of a hare and… that was so creepy. I never expected it to change so drastically. I knew there was something inhuman about Madiline, but what it was so something so unlike what I could have thought it would be.  

Conclusion

This book was so good, I finished it in 3 hours and the entire time I was enraptured by the story. I was on the edge of my seat. Ms. Potter was such an amazing character, I loved every time she was present. The entirety of this book I felt as though I was there. Kingfisher is such a good writer, she really knows how to balance the creepy with the beautiful imagery of the mushrooms and the decaying bodies of the hares. If you are new to horror, this is such a good book to start with, and if you are an avid horror reader, this really has some of the most beautiful imagery. Even the cover is gorgeous. I definitely recommend this, although, not to the squeamish or faint of heart. 

[badger-with-a-boa]

(Long post)

I just had to check the comments under this post.

Trigger warning for a fuckton of transphobia, mentions of murder & rape from my rant.

Apologies for any spelling mistakes and such.

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I am fuming right now. I'm not even surprised of all the transphobia, but the amount of it is sickening. One comment was good, that's it.

I'll never be able to love my fiancée in peace without some transphoic asshole saying I can't be a real lesbian if I'm with her, if I love her, if I'm okay with her being pre-op. Shut the fuck up.

I have to live in fear every fucking day that there's a decently high chance my fiancée could end up harmed, raped or even murdered. It all started because of disguising and close minded bigots like the people here. I have to hope every single damn day and every single time my fiancée goes out in public that someone won't attack her. Imagine living with that.

Imagine the families, the friends, the partners that lost someone simply because they were trans. Imagine someone finding out their wife was killed for simply existing in the same room because she was trans. Imagine finding out your brother was attacked and raped by a stranger or date because he was trans. Imagine living with that pain for the rest of your life.

My fiancée is such an amazing woman. She is a talented writer. She loves music with her entire heart. She feeds deer in her backyard. She got so excited seeing bunnies play outside her work. She loves coffee and cheese. She likes to play Animal Jam for nostalgia all the time. She feeds the stray cats in her area. She loves going to thift stores and antique stores. She loves the color purple. She adores horror movies. She tells me facts about the Doctor Who franchise so I better understand references. She's so excited for us to finally see each other next week for the first time. We plan to have a horror movie marathon and eat Halloween candy while wearing matching costumes on Halloween. We plan to be the gayest motherfuckers around.

She's fucking human. She's a sister, daughter, a fiancée, a niece. She wants to be a mom one day. She wants to make music, write comics, have cats and ferrets and bunnies, live in a nice home with a wraparound porch and have rocking chairs so we can watch the sunset together.

Does that sound predatory? Does that sound disgusting? Does it sound like she's harming anyone? Does it seem like she's a man pretending to be a woman to prey upon lesbians?

We are not a straight couple. We are not straight with extra steps. We are both lesbians who love each other and are gay as fuck. She is a talented, beautiful, kind-loving human being that just wants to fucking live without watching behind her back. I'm allowed to love her, I'm allowed to love her body pre-op and post-op, I'm allowed to love her before & after she's on estrogen, I'm allowed to hold her hand and kiss her in public, I'm allowed to marry her, I'm allowed to want a family with her, I'm allowed to love my fiancée. It does not make me less of a lesbian to do so.

She's the love of my life and no one would ever convince me she's just a man pretending to be a woman, she's sick, she's dangerous, she's a risk to children. She is a woman. She always has been. She's my girlfriend, my fiancée, and eventually my wife. We will always be lesbians. No chromosome or genitalia bullshit changes that. She's my girl, she's my beautiful love, she's my whole heart and soul. I'll fight tooth and nail to stand up for her, to fight beside her, to protect her. I'd happily go to prison for attacking someone if they harmed her. Whether that be a complete stranger, a family member, or even police. She can easily stand up for herself, but that will never stop me from being right beside her.

To all transphobes, to all lesbians who think trans women can't be lesbians, to all lesbians that "speak for all lesbians" like this, to anyone that thinks trans women are men, to anyone that thinks trans women can't be lesbians. Sincerely, go fuck yourselves.

[tag-that-oc]

I have gotten permission to talk about my OCverses so take some Starwood Forest ramblings to start!!

I've classified the universe into three 'stages', each representing when the tone of the OCs changed.

The first is the the beginning stage! This one was created during when I was about 12 (I'm 15 now) because I needed a way to express emotions and what better way to do it then animals! This early stage took a lot of inspiration from series like Warrior Cats and Wings Of Fire, which is very noticeable in the first wave of OCs.

Many of these OCs were shallow figures without much thought behind them, and many have since been forgotten about. This stage has gotten slightly revamped overtime, fleshing out certain characters.

Overall this stage was the calmest, one made to pass the time without much thought to how it worked. There were some darker elements, but most of it was suitable to middle schoolers.

(I should also mention the first OCs in this wave Fallen, Goldie, Jay ad Rusty, were based off FNaF OCs. No plot relevance but something that I feel is vaguely important.)

The second stage (The Seas and Skies stage)

This stage was when I started experimenting with darker topics, such as child abandonment, child abuse, homelessness, death of a loved one, and trying to find out your place in life.

Some notable OCs from this time: Ocean, the pirate cat! They were the one I struck with some heavier topics, but mostly left alone. They are the captain of a pirate ship, and just in general a badass. May be non binary. Same case as Seahorse, listed below. Seahorse. Who I explicitly stated to have been abused as a child. First OC to have confirmation of this in front of my parents. Well. I also may have accidently wrote her to be trans coded? Like I didn't mean it but it also fits with her story. So yeah. mtf first mate. she's got a partner. Winter the ghost fox! I love him. I love him so much. He's just a funny ghost fox who lives with a circus. He died from falling off a cliff btw.

This stage was named due to the focus of the oceans and the circus, which included many winged animals, hence the name. There was a lot of escapism stuff, which looking back on it was me trying to find a happy place to escape too when my siblings came after me.

I have gone through and revamped many elements of this stage to comply with the main timeline, as well as adding more queer characters!

One thing I should mention before moving to stage three, is two OCs that belong somewhere between stages one and two. They were created during the first stage, but didn't get fleshed out until the second. Their names are Peppermint and Thistle and they are lesbians and that has always been their relationship since I made them. They basically adopt the kids in the circus that Raven can't take in, so they have a lot of children that stop by!

It was also at this point in time that I started drawing the characters more humanoid, when they had been fully animal before hand.

On to stage three (the King, the Lab, and the Child Soldiers)

This stage is so fucking dark! What was 13 year old me thinking! We've got experimentation, more child abuse and neglect, death, suicide, child soldiers, child death, fighting arenas, corrupt people in power, and quite a bit more on top of everything talked about in stage two! Take this as your fucking trigger warning!

This stage was developed based on a creepypasta OC I had made, and then turned into something so much bigger! We've got a kingdom being ruled over by a queen who is making prisoners who were experimented on fight each other to the death, most of whom were children. We've got Finn, the ball of trauma who ends up ruling the kingdom but only after he kills himself! We've got a hoard of dead kids, one of which can time travel, a bunch of ones that were street kids who were brutally murdered, and group that was fucking child soldiers?????? What the fuck was 13 year old me doing. What the fuck was I doing.

Anyways, this stage is where I ended up putting this OCverse out of main activity and started moving onto the CrossOCverse and the Minecraft OCverse, all of which were just as dark btw. If not more. Remember that the Starwoods forest was something I created with my parents knowledge. Admittlly they didn't know a bunch of details (like anything related to the queer characters because homophobic parents suck) but still.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed these rambles and hopefully I will be back with another ramble about either specific characters or another OCverse. Good bye and good night I am so tired and I apoigize for spelling mistakes.

oh wow this was all really interesting to read! personally i think it's cool and interesting to experiment with darker topics

the characters all sound interesting too!

[re-bee-key]

I would like to talk about Brianna Ghey, but more broadly, i just want to vent about my frustrations with how some people are treating her death.

Specifically, the people saying she wasn't killed for being trans. #Trigger warnings for transphobia, death, racism, antisemitism, and other uncomfortable topics that are important to talk about right now.

Its hard to explain to people who really don't want to listen about the accelerating slippery slope of hate that is being experienced around the world.

What happened to Brianna Ghey is tragic. Its heartbreaking. It is not, however, surprising.

Brianna Ghey lived in the UK. And if you've been paying attention to any amount of trans issues you'd be aware that trans people are struggling for their lives in the UK.

In the UK and the USA and really all over the world, politicians and extremists are pushing to ban trans existance altogether. Bills and laws against where trans people can pee, how they present, if they can get surgery or transition, and in some places laws are made that attack how anyone presents - trans or cis.

And all this hateful rhetoric and change is being pushed under the guise of protection. Protection towards woman and children and society as a whole.

Which is sick and twisted and a heartbreaking world view to have on people just wanting to live their lives how they want to live them.

But this rhetoric riles people up. It sanctifies the hatred in their hearts. And pushes them to act.

Usually in harrassment and bullying. But as the pot begins to boil and tensions get even more strained, the wire snaps and someone gets murdered.

Cause thats what all this hate ultimately leads to. Death.

Hatred and fear of Muslims leads to immigration bans and then job loss and isolation and mosque burnings. Next people begin to fear anyone middle eastern. Anyone brown.

Hatred of gays and Jews and others led to the Holocaust.

Hatred of black people led to slavery and hangings and so so many other horrible things. And even when they fought for their rights, things have only incremently gotten better. The hatred still there. Still leading to inequality and death.

All of this to say, the progressive push against Trans people has reached exactly where it was going to reach with all this horrible shit going on.

I mean, fuck. Just the new stupid Hogwarts game coming out has increased anti trans hostility tenfold.

Trans people are at the forefront of any mention of Harry Potter and its making people mad. Those bubbling tensions are reaching the boiling point, and crazy awful people are taking action.

Brianna Ghey was a semi popular tiktoker and was open about her identity. She was bullied and harrassed on tiktok and at school. And its beyond frustrating that the police are denying this was a hate crime.

She was 16! In a park! Having a nice day and she was stabbed to death. Why would anyone do that? If not for the fanned flames of hate in their heart.

How can anyone deny what is happening?

How can people not care?

Trans lives are at risk. And honestly so is every minority at this point.

You have to push against hate for it to die. You have to keep speaking up. Keep standing side by side people who are different than you but need your support.

You cant just sit back in complacency and let bad things happen and pass you by because they dont affect you.

You gotta fuckin care about other people. This shouldn't be so hard!

Ive got a lot more i want to say but this is already so long and rambly. I just... Im so upset.

The world could be so different. We could all live alongside each other, different but embracing our differences. Sharing and exchanging culture. Progressing the arts and sciences and fixing the planet and pushing what it means to be human and our place in the world.

But instead, we are here. Sliding down the slippery slope. And its gonna take every single person who has the capacity for empathy and good to link arms and together pull ourselves back up to the top.

[scarlethoodi]

I only read Audible books so I can’t make actual book content like the cool kids on Booktok, Booktube, etc so I’m putting my 2022 top 10 books here

Dishonorable Mention

You Made A Fool of Death with your Beauty

I fucking hated this book. 2/5 on goodreads. Plot didn’t make sense and the main character pissed me off; never should’ve messed with that man’s daddy (who is also a weirdo). The use of grief was essentially a means to justify the weird plot and say everyone but the main character was wrong. I’m getting mad all over again

10) LilyReads (YouTuber) book club pick that I thought was a romance but I’m glad it wasn’t. In fact I was surprised at the direction it took, but the journey of self discovery was fun in its own messy way

9) I said I wasn’t going to read any white people romance but I’ve seen enough reviews to want to check some out. And I love a good friends to lovers despite what the “haters” say

8) The overall book is okay but the ending is what makes it great. It all started coming together so fast but it perfectly sets up the next book which I can’t wait to get.

Also quick honorable mention: Cinderella is Dead was also a fun read

7) Jake the boy that you are. Did I need that much insight into Sawyer’s mind-no could’ve gone without it. But I’m not mad at it and the contrast between the two of them really made the story what it is.

6) Massive trigger warning: Child Abuse

God this book had me on edge and if I think about the ending too much I start to shake. A book about how so many people can fail a little girl and the consequences of it all around how the only person who seems to care being said missing girl’s best friend. I could cry

5) Another LilyReads book club pick and the most fun I had out of them all. Very fun and enjoyable, I loved the narrative of the way it handled body autonomy

4) All children are charming as an adjective, but you’re charming as a verb if that isn’t an amazing quote. This book was a very fun book and surprisingly my very first male focus YA/romance. Henri was a fun character to see the world through and the narrative of him feeling like an outsider surrounding by those rich kids and trying to balance his own goals along with his parents plus dating. Oh Corinne was just the best here, I was practically shaking when the reveal of his betrayal came in. Also bonus points for not pulling a “we’re teens so in love, how can we separate for different colleges?” I wish them all the best

3) I only checked this out cause I saw it on Goodreads so I wasn’t expecting its content. This was an eye opener and a very emotional read that I gladly told my sisters about. Following an elderly immigrant women at sessions in an unemployment office as she tells her life story to you (the unknown presence of the social worker who is only revealed at the end). It makes me wish that community was reveal

2) Was so excited to get a chance at reading this and it definitely met my standards. F the noise (bad reviews), I got one think it makes perfect sense to fight fire with fire. Hell I think Wu Zetian could’ve been a bit more unhinged at some points. And everyone she killed deserved it, hell probably worse. Also answering a possible love triangle with polyamory *chefs kiss* thank you. Will be reading the sequel

Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girl Boss, Get away with Murder

1) Beautiful world building, diverse and interesting characters with great powers to match-when I get my shit together I will be making fanart. Between this and Cemetery Boys Aiden Thomas is definitely one of my favorite authors so the moment I can I will get physical copies of this book. If you love Percy Jackson I do recommend. My favorite book of the year.

This book was so much fun and a overall joy. I love the combination of fantasy and modern elements, the whole gods among us plus the power play/oppression build into the society. Trans representation that acknowledges said fantasy elements so it introduces different aspects of gender presentation. The slow burn of a rivals to friends (to maybe lovers). Each trial had me on edge as you saw the clear difference in Golds who were raised for this vs Teo and Xio, two Jades not on equal grounds. The betrayal that sets up the end and sequel book. I will be there consuming all of it

This concludes my very unserious reviews of my Top 10 book list of 2022. Follow me on Goodreads I guess, I do plan to use it more next year

[transenbyconfessions]

Hey i read your pinned and found nothing saying this isn't allowed, im sorry if it isn't. Trigger warning for sui mention, depression, familiar abuse mention and transphobia

I'm a afab non-binary femme lesbian, i don't have the mental health to be out as NBy so i live like a cis girl. I can't say i don't care but i can deal. My girlfriend is a lesbian trans girl (out irl), I try my best to protect her, i know i can't protect her 100% and this make me feel terrible plus recently she started a new job so she is going to go back home with bad news a lot. Lately i've been seeing a lot of NBphobia in my tl, at my job i listen to a podcast where white cishet men with shitty opinions talk about social stuff and everyone at my job agree with them, my family is ok with me dating a girl (they don't know she is trans) but they vote on politicans who said that gay people should be beaten until they stop being gay.

Seeing how this world will never treat my girlfriend like a normal person, plus my underpaid job, plus my abusive home (been abused by my family since my childhood) is making me kinda nihilist ("kinda" because i don't know much about this but is the only word i found to describe). I have zero hope for a good life for my girl. My country is the rank 1 at murder of trans people (mostly women), the lifespan of trans people here is 30 years. I don't wanna see her cry for doing nothing wrong, I feel like shit for myself too, these thinks are making my depression worst (i don't have money for therapy). I can't see any good reason for continue living, i don't want to leave her too, she always says I'm the only person who supports her 100% and don't treat her like a difficult thing to deal with, but living is only making me feel bad

We have plans to live together next year so i will not kms and mostly i will not kms after the moving because i will never give her the pain of finding my body. I just prefer never being born in a world like this

As always, I encourage anyone experiencing suicidal ideation, the desire to self harm, or otherwise just need emotional support to talk to someone.

Befrienders provides a list of most/all hotlines, searchable by country.. 

Trans Lifeline  is available in the US and Canada, and they will also help guide you through helping a trans friend/loved one.

The TrevorProject has a US-based hotline, textline, and and online chat. They also have an international online social community for people ages 13-24.