#a small explanation

[firespirited]

My teen and early adult 'fixation' on suicide was vaster than i'd thought (hate to call it a special interest even if that's really the correct term). I kind of blocked it out as necessary learning that wasn't worth thinking about ever again the moment it truly hit me that dad could self sabotage but never hurt himself that directly - this wasn't like all the cases where people didn't think the person they cared about wasn't that unwell, I wasn't going to be blind sided after all - ... I immediately moved on and tried to forget every last bit. Deliberately avoided all related topics aside from euthanasia in the already terminal, the pros and cons from an advocacy standpoint.

Those of you who've been following for a while know i can infodump at the drop of a hat about how auto-erotic asphyxiation is really hard to differentiate from regular suicide (along with strongly worded "no breath play" screeds), about "no guns if you have mental health issues" being inaccurate and insufficient enough because escalating disputes often don't get a mental health diagnosis.

I was able to recognize intrusive thoughts of self violence and even repeated phrases as non-suicidal in 2021 and stop being so scared (which helped it ease off actually) so I guess it wasn't for naught.

But uh yeah, there's a huge folder in my brain about martyrdom: the personal, the collective, the societal. celebrated or unnoticed. religious or heroic. misguided ableism and ageism. this one is personal on multiple levels not just the ableism stuff, the martyr stuff I was raised to sort of wish for and folks i knew in the mindset. kept getting dinged by media not world events so I started using doesthedogdie and watching after a full season had aired.

(another folder: technically not suicide but also very much slow suicide tempting death and the will to 'not be'. This one gets triggered regularly. It's part of the reason I'm vocal about eating disorder content and patterns of behaviour like calorie counting, 'clean' eating... it's not because I have a problem with food or my weight but I know the death rates and know the various spirals and they're haunting.)

The past few days I've posted a couple of uncharacteristically glib sounding things. I'm okay and it's not out of character, it's just a piece of me that rarely appears and approaches very dark subject matter with near scientific detachment in the wording and a lot of unspoken resigned sadness that doesn't come across in text and i probably couldn't put into words if i dared to: a pain that's more suffocating numbness than spiky.

The way the subject matter takes over my brain as high priority despite fighting it (and of course life's doing its usual chaos LOL) mean that i haven't been as present as wanted. I see new mental patterns to break and am going to work on it. 💚 Stay safe everyone.

[flamingpudding]

The first part of this Au that I went out with so funny thank you for answering it I hope you were able to rest and stuff but anywho

I feel like after those first two parts I feel like RedRobin and Batman have questions about the Ghost King and Vlad relationship like they're asking questions

And the Klarions / Phantom children and the kids keep just dropping he with to college with our mom's parents, he would take kidnap mom and locked him in a basement, he's legally mom's godfather, he tried to marry grandmother on multiple occasions

I just feel like Dan anytime he gets the moment gets mad at him and goes like until you pay the 8.5 million you owe mom in child support is the day that you can call me your son ectoplasm donor.

Also I would find it so funny if outside of their Klarion thing they live with Vlad time from time again when Danny is overwhelmed or need someone to watch over them and the the rest of the people he's friends with in the Infinite Realms can't do it and are friends with the Wayne children

I feel like Duke will be having a heart attack when you realizes that he goes the same high school class as Dan or that Ellie and Dick best friends back when they were children for funsies

Also the reveal of Teekls has never been a cat it's going to get on doctor fate's nerves cuz he knows damn well that things never been a cat also I feel like all of them have the power to rip Dr Fate out of whoever he's possessing body and always he's pulling that power on him anytime they get the chance

Also a review of the fact that Teekl has never been a cat until when like Batman or Red Robin pov

Have I ever mentioned I love your ideas and how fun they are? Cause damn this had me laughing while reading it already.

Also glad the first two parts were still fun despite the mishaps that happed while writing :D

Also I skipped over the Teekl Part for the moment since I didn't know how to tie it in at the moment...

Sooooo anyway.... here we go again~ (sorry if its a bit short...)

Part 1 Part 2

------------------------

Red Robin was intrigued, worried and on several levels suspicious as he watched the interaction between the ones that had been Klarion, the current Klarion and Vlad Masters. He had also a lot of questions, he really wanted answers to but for now he held back.... partially. Vlad Masters was a contact Batman had brought in when the situation with the Demon became more dangerous than they originally expected.

John Constantine had mentioned they would need a even stronger force to really drive that Demon back and off handedly mentioned that something like an Ancient or a Ghost King would be needed. And wouldn't you know, Batman knew someone that claimed to have contacts with a Ghost King or rather THE Ghost King. And as luck would have it, Vlad Masters was in Gotham because of one of his relentless attempts at striking a business deal with Bruce Wayne. (That really had been an unexpected luck but by now Red Robin was also suspecting something else was at play.... [Like a bored Ancient of Time])

Well either way now he was watching, just a step behind his mentor, how Batman was grilling Vlad Masters on his relations to the Ghost King, since apparently they (the hero's assembled) wouldn't need to do anything anyway since the Ghost King was handling the demon threat. Red Robin did realise that not all heroes present were convinced but what else could they do but wait right now? Since according to Klarion their Mom aka the Ghost King was already dealing with the situation.

So with that happening, the well known bat-paranoia, curiosity, suspicion and need to know every good damn detail of a situation arose full force. Not that Red Robin minded, as mentioned before, he had a lot of questions too. Plus he wasn't so sure if the other Heroes had caught it but there were some disturbing things Klarion and is siblings sort of dropped that really needed clearing up.

While Batman was grilling Vlad Masters, Red Robin listened in but then decided to his own sort of questioning with Klarion, the current one.

"So... you called Vlad Masters 'old man'? And your suit is in the 'old man's style'?" the question was asked directly to the current Klarion. Since they were apparently here just to watch Red robin was sure he could just try having a sort of civil talk with his questions.

Klarion on the other hand grumbled crossing his arms, before uncrossing them again to pet the demon cat on his shoulder. "I just went with his dumb vampire look but more fancy and classic and less insane colouring."

The arched eyebrow stayed sort of hidden under his mask but it was there and Red Robin knows that tone Klarion used. It's the same Red Hood has when he begrudgingly admit do doing something the way Batman would. Which raises the a question he already had on his mind, how he could interpret Klarions use of 'old man'. Which would give Batman even more incentive to question Vlad Masters on his relation to the Ghost King. Also for now he was going to ignore the 'dumb vampire look' part, but he did note it down in his mind for later.

"Vlad Masters is your 'old man'?" There probably was a way to ask a little more subtle or nice but they were waiting for the Ghost King to beat up a Demon and he was making small talk with subtitle questioning with Klarion. So sue him for being blunt after all. Also the face Klarion was making right after he said.

"Well Far Frozen gets a hot summer." Was the instant reply and Red Robin blinked unter his mask. There probably was some information he was missing behind that reply.

"Ew no! He wishes though. But Vlad is like double or triple our Mom's age! He even went to collage with Grandpa Jack and Grandma Maddie!" Misrule suddenly interjected apparently done pestering Nightwing as she leaned over Klarion, resting her head on his and causing Teekl to hiss at her. Well that certainly got his attention now and with the way he saw, form the corner of his eyes, Batmans head wipe their way and then back at Vlad Masters it certainly also got his mentors.

"He wishes...? Triple your Moms.... age? The Ghost King?" His mental information board was getting more and more chaotic with the information he was getting.

"He acts like we are his kids and has a right to be called Dad by us." Misrule shrugged dismissively to which Klarion growled, he growled! Red Robin was tempted to check his ears because this was the first time he heard Klarion growl towards his sister.

"The day I call your DNA and my ecto donor anything with the context of father is the day he pays Mom the millions of child support he owns him and additional pays for emotional and physical distress." Okay, Red Robin was not ashamed to say he did a double take at Klarions growl and the fact that several alarm bells went off hin his mind with that one sentence alone.

"Mom has his own castle and riches from the previous King. Not like we would actually need that money. Plus Vlad does pay for your school tuition." Misrule answered her brother, complete ignoring the fact that Red Robin was having a mental crisis and thinking that Vlad Masters might even be an even greater threat, then just a weird and suspicious potential business partner and that the reason he has a summoning stone for the Ghost King might be a custody thing regarding Klarion and his siblings.

So with all these things what did Red Robins brain decide to focus on? "Vlad Masters pays your school tuition? No wait you go to school?"

There was an awkward moment Red Robin received two very similar looking deadpan stares from Klarion and Misrule, the first Klarion.

"Of course I go to fucking school Mom would kill... well no thermos ground me if I didn't." Another drop of information Red Robin didn't know how to handle, what the hell does 'thermos ground' even mean? Was that like their version of grounding?

"Oh isn't today like a school night?" Misrule suddenly piped up pinching her brothers check and Red Robin felt weirdly reminded of some of the interactions he used to have with his siblings. It was strange to see Klarion like that.

"Shit... I forgot to do my part of my group project with Duke..." Klarion grumbled and Red Robin did a double take once more, blinking several times as there was a very very important information drop here, his head snapped towards Nightwing in hopes that the other had also caught it and thankfully, he had and while Signal wasn't present at the moment because he had done day patrols already and had been barely awake anyway when this whole Demon mess started.... they had gotten a hint of figuring out Klarions identity, they were certainly going to use later.

For now they had some more red flags to investigate in regards to the relation of Vlad Masters, the Ghost King, Klarion and Klarion's siblings.

---------------

Little Bonus (Next day after Demon Crisis):

"Hey Duke, who are you working with in a group project?"

"Huh oh that is Dante Masters-Nightingale."

"Masters-Nightingale? As in Vlad MASTERS?"

"Yeah, that what he said his temporary guardian's name is that pays for his schooling."

"Wait didn't I go with Danielle Nightingale-MASTERS to school too? We were like besties in school!"

"Oh god...."

"Tim, you okay you look very pale. Are you okay? Dick too..."

"BRUCE! VLAD MASTERS NEEDS TO BE PUT ON THE RED WATCH LIST AND WE NEED TO TALK WITH THE GHOST KING ASAP!"

[kiisaes]

I love the Dead plate fanart you've done......

do you think you'll make more Dead plate / Coal fired heart content?

thank u so much!!! i'm really happy to hear ppl like my dead plate art :> i definitely want to draw more, vincerody has scratched an itch in my brain ... their designs are also sooo fun to draw hehe

i don't have any current art pieces of them, but here's a vince doodle i made a day ago to test a new brush (mild blood warning)

[immortalsins]

HANNIBAL (2013-2015) — SEASON ONE

Killing must feel good to God, too. He does it all the time, and are we not created in God's image? Depends on who you ask. God's terrific. He dropped a church roof on thirty-four of his worshipers last Wednesday night in Texas, while they sang a hymn. Did God feel good about that? He felt powerful.

{inspiration}

[japeneselunchtimerush]

Me about Akashi: 🤏🤏🤏

[popsicle-stick]

I'd love to hear about your coloring/pose choices once you post your turnarounds ~

oh! well, while i'm here, i might as well post what i have so far

(the first 2 turns are their initial look, the third is their final look)

so! with jonathan, i initally went for a homely, warm look - he's fresh and a little nervous, kitted out in travelling gear that i'm sure he (and/or mina) bought especially for the occasion - i feel like he hasn't gone much beyond england before. i admit i was kind of spiteful and stole the red scarf from the league of extraordinary gentlemen's mina - which made this discovery from the milwaukee ballet version all the more serendipitous! by the end, he, like everyone, is in funeral gear, but he retains the scarf - it's matted and covered and grime, but it stays there. it helps break up the black, but also, it could maybe stand for a lot of Thematic Motifs, like love, sex, transgression, and, uh, blood. take your pick. also - not that important and it's hard to see, but i hc him with dark grey eyes, and when his hair changes, i really like the idea of his eyes becoming paler and washed out looking.

for mina, i wanted her to seem to seem unremarkable on first glance, but if you look closer, her outfit is supposed to be slightly masculine, with the waistcoat and collar. that's as much as she allows herself, though. she's a woman in a financially and socially vulnerable situation, and so i feel like she's someone who cares a lot about how she presents herself, and i wanted this to show. for her end-of-book look, i wanted her to match jonathan somewhat with the vampiric vibes. in her case, it's literal, so i took her eyes from a dark brown to deep red, and she's a very uncharacteristic mess. in both cases, i feel i was maybe a LITTLE on the nose with the dracula-eque vibes at the end, but whatever! who cares. she can wear what is essentially a red silk-lined dracula cloak because she should be able to have a bit of vampire swag in this testing time

[neontea77]

NİNA EXPLAİNS PUPPETEER'S POWERS

From Nina's Notes:

[justaz]

s1ep10 where everything is the same except theres a few other kids around merlin and the gangs age in ealdor and they have the most passive aggressive beef ever

merlin (explaining the tensions while covering his ass bc the villagers may not know about his magic but they know and he cant let arthur find out): and thats mary. she threw rocks at me when i was younger so i shoved a fistful of dirt in her mouth. i just didnt realize there was a worm in the dirt until she was spitting it all out and coughed up a worm. it had the effect of someone coughing up a frog. it fueled a bunch of rumors about me being a sorcerer

mary (after greeting the prince very respectfully): merlin. youre back. how lovely.

merlin, smiling: mary!! yes, of course i am. when i heard that ealdor was in danger i just had to come back and help. you know ive always had a knack for worming my way out of trouble so i thought if anyone can help, its me.

mary: how hopeful. i dont think ive ever seen you wield a sword. or any other weapon. you seem to keep to your…talents.

merlin: we never spent much time together so i cant fault you for not noticing my many other talents. contrary to what you think, i do like to get my hands dirty.

[thefirstknife]

Hi Bel! If YOU could make an expansion, what would you theme it around?

I've been thinking about this ask for 2 days and I still don't know, there are so many things I would want to go into it. It's impossible for me to choose. Possibly my biggest interest is exploring the universe in some way and uncovering its history.

Instead, I am asking all of YOU what would you theme an expansion around. Put it in the tags.

[ahhlehlehlehleh]

Non-serious prediction drawings for season 3 of Bad Batch.

Omega is protective sister, Crosshair gets food, Crosshair gets food he doesn’t want (pickles), and Rampart is demoted to grill boy duty for the Empire.

[vorekody]

Soul vore

Is my favorite type of intimate vore

AND I KNOW all vore is pretty intimate but soul vore just hits differently for me in a romantic cuddly way, but only in a very specific scenario:

It's not a digested-and-then-digest-the-soul-too kinda thing, it's a take-the-soul-out-and-then-eat-it-while-they-watch thing

Their soul -how I imagine it- would be like an orb, a maybe baseball sized orb that would be cool and luminescent and be the consistency of a gummy- something soft

The prey wouldn't die after their soul was taken out, they'd just be in a very sleepy state, like completely exhausted, but still a good bit coherent as long as they stayed near their disembodied soul, the farther away they get from it the more tired they become, the closer the more awake and coherent they'll be.

So naturally they'd be cuddled up to the preds belly, close as can be to the light that is them in that gut.

And maybe their pred would tease them for being so clingy, or just fawn over them in their sleepy state, either is fun.

[luci-luck]

Earth “ponies” go first! MASSIVE autism dump comin’ atcha live

TW: ableism , grief , parental death (just in case the tags failed)

This is more so for me but I still wanted to share 🫶

Sandstone (Pinkie):

- b i g puppy energy

- Built for work but prefers to play

- Has crystal pony genes but depression makes them subdued. Can only go full crystal mode in a moment of pure and raw jubilation.

- after constantly being told who she’s supposed to be, they rejected the idea of labels entirely

- no labels for gender or sexuality means loving Pinkie does not impact your sexuality score!

- (intersex is not about gender but biological sex. That being said many intersex people use intergender as their gender as it relates to their experience as an intersex person.)

- deals with internalized ableism due to conservative fillyhood environment. Feels bad when they need to ask for help/support. Got herself an unofficial certificate in psychology so he can be his own therapist (it doesn’t work out)

- Parents would totally support the pony version of Autism Speaks just saying. Pinkie’s dad thinks neurodivergency is curable with hard work and the right attitude whilst her mom mourns the loss of her son after the diagnosis.

- ADHD makes xeir rejection sensitivity off the charts

- Internal battery runs on the company of others so can’t ever live alone.

- Had problems with food insecurity

- Relies on sugar as a steady supply of dopamine

- Can have moments of poor motor control. Clumsy

- Eyesight is bad but doesn’t wear glasses. Afraid that ponies will start thinking he is smart and they will expect even more from him. (In human world she wears contacts)

- Feels embarrassed being high support needs and just wants to be treated like everybody else. Hates when xer parents call her “special”

- Also hates being infantilized but is not confident in their decision making

- Xe is a sensory seeker unlike the rest of their family who are all sensory avoiders. Sisters compromise and try to meet his needs. Pinkie in turn tries to be mindful of their touch aversion but finds it hard sometimes. “Everypony’s just so scoop-able!”

- Trained Gummy to “stay”. Is very proud of his emotional support gator

Applejack:

- Is incredibly strong for her size

- feels like she has to constantly prove herself worthy of taking over the farm. Has gotten into arguments with Big Mac about overexerting herself

- Is a hinny (donkey mom and stallion dad) (ofc hinnies are supposed to have tails more like horse but I love the lion tail on AJ so 💁‍♀️) (I said mule in ALT text because most people don’t know what a hinny is)

- Because of this, she is more calm under pressure and thinks more logically

- has major depression from grief and ptsd (duh)

- Isn’t used to being in a stress free environment so she creates the stress

- Likes running the apple stand but certain families trigger her

- Obsessed with anything from the past generation. A time when her parents were young and happy

- Can be a bit insensitive to other’s problems and wants them to “put on their big girl pants” like she had to.

- Feels like she has to fill in the roles her parents used to do. Especially so Applebloom and Granny don’t have to stress over as many things.

- Was in the process of cutting her mane when she remembered that AB liked to braid it so she stopped half way.

- Is the mom of the friend group. Makes sure everyone’s needs are met before tending to her own. (Which is bad btw)

- Has problems with insomnia but getting better.

- Struggles with OCD and will repeat unnecessary tasks if she believes it will help protect her family

- Has an emotional support dog named Winona who also reminds AJ to take breaks 🐕‍🦺

- Sees no point in getting her chronic pain checked out. Will hopefully change her mind in the future. Wears leg braces to ease the soreness.

- Got diagnosed later on. Grief masked her autistic traits.

- Also has a hard time asking for help but has gotten better after she found out that Applebloom has been internalizing that mindset. She must lead by example

- Stick around long enough and she’ll happily invite you over with a hot cup of cider 🍺

- (Other people tend to fall in love while getting to know someone. Demiromantics however need to get to know the person first and then develop romantic feelings later)

- Thought she wasn’t capable of developing crushes until she got to know Coloratura.

[khyann]

First Page || Prev Page // Next Page

Sausage you can't use spells like that on someone who mostly saw you using stuff like that or more powerful under the influence of a demon and just carry on like nothing

[palossssssand]

Reconciliation

Old dome squadmates Trito and Kinoga get together at Trito’s place to catch up after years apart and a meeting by chance on the surface.

⚠️Warning for suggestive content below + implied chest trauma

After several weeks of chipping away at this, the comic is finally done! Very happy to have rendered a full 7 pages of oc stuff. Please give it a read!!

read the full 7 page comic on twitter! <-please do not click if you are a minor and view at your own discretion, this link contains explicit 18+ content. Thank you!

For the lore, includes stuff from splatoon Octo Expansion: Trito and Kinoga were a part of an octarian military squad living in the domes, Kinoga being their squad leader that many looked up to and admired. There were 6 of them who considered each other to be their closest friends. Upon hearing about the tests from Kamabo Co. and the allure of the Promised Land, Kinoga wished to seek it out in order to find a better life for their squadmates. A difficult decision, since it meant leaving them all behind, promising to come back and take them there.

Kinoga enters the metro trials and soon realizes that the Promised Land isn’t what they expected, their hope crumbling when they encounter one of their sanitized squadmates Agara, who followed suit to the metros soon after. Kinoga narrowly escapes, eventually making a break for the surface, carrying the shame of unwilling to return for their squadmates with them (it’s justified, of course, there might not be an easy way in, they might get caught again, Agara is gone)

Trito enters the Metro not too long after Kinoga does, wanting to catch up to them, and an accident that occurs in a test early on results in Trito’s near sanitization, giving him his scar. Terrified, and realizing what happens to his fellow octolings, Trito is unable to return to his squadmates, not wanting to break the news of their loved ones’ untimely fates. He hides away on the Metro until the events of OE happen and Agent 8 dismantles Kamabo, opening an opportunity to escape to the surface. Unwilling to face the possibilities of going back, Trito takes his chance to leave, starting a new life and feeling that it’s for the best if he doesn’t acknowledge it, though he missed his friends dearly.

Years later, Trito and Kinoga run into each other on the streets of Splatsville by chance, and the implications of them both being on the surface and alive hit them, having to carry the burden of leaving their loved ones behind and finding out the truth, knowing the other felt exactly the same, not knowing the fate of their squadmates and not wanting to think about the possibility of them being gone. They have a tearful reunion about it, and set up a meet later, to sit down and really talk, and get into a brief argument when the topic of returning to the domes comes up. Trito’s in disbelief that Kinoga never went back down to check on the rest of their squad, wanting them to have been a better person than him, who was too cowardly to do so. Eventually they do reconcile, and end up at Trito’s place to hook up, where the above comic takes place :]

[nekoning]

uh oh dignified dashixiong loses his composture

[vxmpirehunterd]

UPDATE: A REASON FOR MY ABSENCE, A BRIEF SUMMARY Normally I don't make posts about my life but I think I need to give an update to all the peeps out there about my random absences. I don't talk about my life a lot due to the amount of dysfunction and heartache that goes on behind the scenes that drain my will to be creative, to interact with everyone, to even live. It's like every year that goes on, there was something in the background that disrupted my life and mental state further.

First and foremost I've grown up a parentified child taking on responsibilities not mine to bear with no say in the matter. Being forced to give up my own childhood for my own parent's selfish decisions. Then I moved away from my mother's to my father's. Which wasn't even better from 2014-2019 living with him was very terrifying due to his anger issues and violence whenever I didn't do things his way. He had this expectation for me to go to college full time while working full time and expected me to pay for my own college and pay him rent. When I stopped going to school to focus on working, he would verbally and sometimes physically hurt me. I had lost a severe amount of weight due to the stress and decided to move back in with my mother in 2019.

Fast forward 2021 my father died of cancer and my mom is in a custody battle with one of her many baby daddies and looked to me for financial support since she hadn't worked in nearly a decade. I had started a new job around that time but my mental health was drained at that point.

Now in 2024 my mother has decided to bring my elderly and sick grandmother into the household where we don't have a lot of resources and we really aren't equipped to give her proper care. But now the table has turned where she has finally got a new job a month ago and I am not working currently. She decided to dump the task of taking care of a confused, incontinent, elderly grandmother onto. Even though my own mother never had anything good to say about her own mother and I don't have great experiences with my grandma either. But we have to take care of her because "we're family." Gimme a break.

So right now I'm a bit pissed, sad, tired, and a myriad of other unpleasant emotions. If you ever want to know why Koji is gone all the time. Here is your answer. Family life bullshit.

But not to worry, I've been working on trying to get myself out of this hole I've seemed to find myself in again. Because I do want to interact with all my new followers and old ones. It's just that I've been recovering from deep wounds.