#a-s aspec community

[slothkittfunsies]

Deep Dive into the issues on Alastor.

CONTENT WARNING: Racism, Aphobia.

Now that I created a blog specifically for stuff like this, It's time for the dive.

Alastor is a character that resonates with me, because this guy is supposed to represent me and my people (aspec/aroace community) and I liked his pilot personality. (That went to shit)

This man got so many issues, that i have to take the pen myself and scribble what Vivzie has wrote. So, Let's start, shall we?

THE DESIGN

The first time I saw the Hazbin pilot, I got confused about what Alastor was supposed to be. I thought he was just a grey human wearing some kind of animal ears until the fandom said he is a deer.

A deer. Let that sink in.

(Images for comparsion)

As someone passionate about the arts, this upset me. Sure, I haven't been to art school, but even I know you need to put the backstory and features in mind when designing a character.

Character design is NOT throwing things at the wall and seeing which sticks. It needs actual critical thinking. If your audience is confused about your character's species, it's time to go back to the drawing table (unless you have a reason for making it mysterious.)

Second, the overabundance of red is awful in terms of color theory. This guy is in Hell, which is also red, causing an eyesore. I got a headache when trying to focus on him on a red background. And also, colors have meaning. People associate red with danger, so the fact he even managed to get victims to kill makes me puzzled.

Also, the fact he's supposed to be mixed/black makes this design even worse. Why is he grey instead of brown, perhaps? Vivzie has a pattern of making POCs grey-skinned, which is, again, awful.

I think Vivzie only made him a POC due to the voodoo issue. I mean, just remove the symbols and you are done. But nah the symbols are too "aesthetic" to remove. So gotta change his race.

She could have used another symbols, like THIS for example:

Since, you know, he's the "Radio Demon"?

THE BACKSTORY

Ok, this where I'm very confused.

Alastor is a radio host, and also a serial killer. He was born in the USA, got killed by a deer hunter by mistake, and lived in the 1920's.

This is what I gathered from being a superfan back then, and it sounds unorganised/cluttered. And the years he lived in make his design even worse. (Again! His clothing doesn't speak the 1920s!)

The fact he's from an old era, and yet speaks in modern slang is weird. He's supposed to hate anything modern, and yet he does it anyway? His saying "fuck" multiple times is so out of character for him. I guess the "If made by Vivziepop" memes have some truth.

Putting the fact he's mixed, makes the backstory more confusing. How did he manage to be a popular radio host at the time before the civil rights movement became a thing? He will have been put down like the rest of the POCs in America. Either that he's white-passing, or it's VERY difficult. Adding the fact he's a serial killer makes me think how the cops didn't get to him (the mere fact he's black should have got him questioned in 1920s America)

Now, for his identity. I'm mad he's the only aroace character in the sea of gays and bisexuals. (I'm not saying gay men and bisexual people should not have representation. I have to say that due to tumblr's piss poor reading comprehersion)

which made me go through on why Vivzie made him aroace in the first place. I don't know if this is true, but I heard she made him aroace because "he only loves himself"

Um. Here we go again with allos assuming we are non-empathic psychopaths for our lack of sexual or/and romantic attraction. I hope that's not true at all, but knowing Vivzie's past, I wouldn't be surprised.

Alastor would have been a great character if another person took care of it instead of Vivziepop. What I'm gonna say is, wasted potential.

[bilesproblems]

Ace(spec)s and aro(specs): hey romance and sex are TWO DIFFERENT things! Romantic and sexual attraction are different! It's extremely harmful to our community/communities to say they are the same. Aces can love without sex/without feeling sexual attraction and aros can have sex without it being a romantic thing/without feeling romantic attraction and that's fine!

Exclusionists online: um it's acephobic to use the split attraction model if you're not aspec btw. Your romantic and sexual orientations have to be the same. I am a good aspec ally.

[pansexual-pied-piper]

Y'know, it really pisses me off when aphobes try to justify excluding cis straight aspecs on the grounds that their experiences "aren't comparable" to those of "real" queer people, bc how would they know? They're not aspec! They don't know shit abt what being aspec is like!

Oh gee, if only there were people who were both aspec and other flavours of queer who could draw direct comparisons based on their own lived experience! Guess we'll never know what these clearly entirely hypothetical aspecs have to say about it! /s

The fact that they don't listen to us when we defend our cis straight siblings just proves how full of shit they are. If they really were only worried about comparability, they'd be seeking us out for our expertise, not ignoring us or speaking over us on our own experiences. They want us all gone, pure and simple. Cis straight aspecs are only the beginning. They're the easiest target, but the aphobes won't stop there. They'll just shift their focus to whichever flavour of aspecs they feel they can get away with excluding next. Probably either cis m-spec aspecs, with some weird justification that involves the idea that m-specs are "straight passing", or straight transmasc aspecs, with some bullshit explanation about how transmascs all pass as cis. Calling it now.

And they'll have the gall to claim it's for the good of the community while they do it.

[aceof-stars]

Narumitsu/Wrightworth Fic Recs! (Part 1, Multi Chapter)

I'm finally cleaning out my tabs and sorting through all the fanfics I've read so I thought tumblr would be the best place to keep my favorite fics :)

This post will contain only multi-chapter fics, completed fics will be listed first and then uncompleted ones. Assume it's a wrightworth fic unless I specify otherwise. I will also be subjecting you all to the way I tag/organize the fanfics I read. I'll try to keep spoilers out of my tags, but if you want to go in blind just click the link.

I will tag the author if I know their tumblr <3

Anyways, Enjoy!!

Canon Compliant, Mostly

A Long Way To Fall by Prospectkiss aka @prospectkiss

Era: OG Trilogy | Relationship? Pre-Relationship → Confession | Plot Stuff: Casefic, Phoenix Gets Kidnapped, Includes Smut

The very first wrightworth fic I read!! <3

Paper Hearts by Prospectkiss aka @prospectkiss

Era: DD/SOJ/Post-Canon | Relationship? Pre-Relationship → Confession | Plot Stuff: Angst, Reunion

So Soft that it h u r t s me

Turnabout Forgotten by Nali_li

Era: OG Trilogy | Relationship? Established Relationship & Confession | Plot Stuff: Phoenix has Amnesia, Pining While In a Relationship

res ipsa loquitur (the thing itself speaks) by griffonage

Era: DD/SOJ/Post-Canon | Relationship? Pre-Relationship → Confession | Plot Stuff: Phoenix Didn't Know They Were Dating, Miscommunication (but it's funny)

pari delicto, pari passu (equal fault, equal footing) by griffonage

Era: DD/SOJ/Post-Canon | Relationship? Pre-Relationship → Confession | Plot Stuff: Phoenix Didn't Know They Were Dating, Miscommunication (but it's funny)

Yeah this is very similar to the previous one but they're both very good

Five Times Miles Found Phoenix Infuriatingly Attractive and One Time Phoenix Threw It Right Back at Him by 3musketears

Era: Disbarment/AJ | Relationship? Pre-Relationship → Confession → Established Relationship | Plot Stuff: Aspec Miles Edgeworth Suffers™️

Disbarment tends to be a really sad era to write in but this one isn't soul-crushing

to drink, and live, what has destroyed some men by multifandom_fanfic_writer

Era: Multiple (Pre-DL-6, Disbarment/AJ, DD/SOJ/Post-Canon) | Relationship? Pre-Relationship → Confession | Plot Stuff: Phoenix is Jealous of Miles' Admirers, Miles Edgeworth Rejects Everyone Except Phoenix

Guilty As Charged by JustNerdyThings

Era: DD/SOJ/Post-Canon | Relationship? Established Relationship | Plot Stuff: AJ Trilogy Characters Try Matchmaking-- Phoenix & Miles Don't Need It Actually, POV Outsider, Miscommunication (but it's funny)

A Night You'll Never Regret by MaudMoon (Idle_Wanderings) aka @maud-moon

Era: DD/SOJ/Post-Canon | Relationship? Pre-Relationship → Confession | Plot Stuff: Phoenix & Miles Get Impulsively Married, Drunken Shenanigans, Temporary Amnesia, Communication!, Includes Smut

One of my favorite Post-Canon wrightworth fics, Phoenix and Miles are characterized so well <3

Canon Retellings/Canon Divergence

Reprieve by Almarna aka @almarnatiaam

Era: Pre-Canon (Bratfeen) | Relationship? Pre-Relationship → Confession → Established Relationship → Breakup → Getting Back Together | Plot Stuff: Bratworth & Feenie are Roommates, First Game Retelling

Don't Lawyers Feel Love Too? by JustNerdyThings

Era: Pre-Canon (Bratfeen), Legally Blonde AU | Relationship? Pre-Relationship → Confession → Established Relationship | Plot Stuff: Bratworth is Feenie's Study Partner, Turnabout Goodbyes Retelling

What Are Roommates For Anyways by daggar

Era: Pre-Canon (Bratfeen) | Relationship? Pre-Relationship → Confession → Established Relationship | Plot Stuff: Bratworth is Feenie's Roommate, Bratworth Tries to Have a Corruption Arc & Feenie Doesn't Let Him, Bratworth's Accelerated Redemption, Turnabout Memories Retelling

This one is similar to the last but it's angstier and involves more case/plot elements

UNFINISHED

A Demon's Justice by Evelinessa aka @evelinessa

Era: OG Trilogy (PW:AA) | Relationship? Pre-Relationship | Plot Stuff: Phoenix Loses Turnabout Sisters, Edgeworth's Delayed Redemption, Turnabout Sisters Retelling, Turnabout Goodbyes Retelling

pain, pain, so much pain please save me (jk I love it)

Feline Any Better? by Dreamnorn

Era: Pre-Canon (Bratfeen) | Relationship? Pre-Relationship | Plot Stuff: Bratworth's Accelerated Redemption, Bratworth Becomes a Cat and Gets Closer to Phoenix, Phoenix Wright Angst Train

Turnabout Transposed by NeeineArts

Era: No-DL-6 AU | Relationship? Established Relationship (um it's complicated) | Plot: Canon Edgeworth Travels to No DL-6 Universe, Crossing Timelines, Casefic

Alternate Universe

I Spy by zombiekittiez

Era: Spy AU | Relationship? Established Relationship → Estrangement → Getting Back Together | Plot Stuff: Phoenix & Miles Work For Opposing Sides, Secret Identities

Augh pain, what if I want wrightworth to be happy is that too much to ask for

The Return of Glory by MaudMoon (Idle_Wanderings) aka @maud-moon

Era: Hogwarts AU | Relationship? Pre-Relationship → Confession → Established Relationship | Plot Stuff: Phoenix & Miles are Rivals At First, Exposing von Karma, Found Family Working Together

AUTHOR DOES NOT SUPPORT JK ROWLING!! I REPEAT, AUTHOR DOES NOT SUPPORT JK ROWLING. Phoenix and Maya are BOTH trans here

HP worldbuidling elements are actually incorporated so well into Ace Attorney plot points

[ettawritesnstudies]

Aspec ship prompts

because I can't find something like this and so I guess I have to make it myself. This is meant for characters on the aromantic or asexual spectrums (grey-ace, demi-ace, romance-favorable, etc.) who are in relationships but doesn't erase that part of their identity

not realizing s/o has a crush on them for *forever* until told explicitly, and being extremely flustered by the attention

s/o giving them time to think through their feelings after the confession, without pressuring them to make a decision

s/o understanding that their affections might not be reciprocated immediately, if at all, and being ok with keeping their relationship as a qpr or a strong friendship in that case.

being unsure if their emotional reaction is anxiety or the "butterflies in your stomach" of a crush

worrying if they'll be a good s/o because they don't "get" romance or sex, but wanting their partner to be happy - needing clear and healthy communication about expectations and boundaries

s/o reassuring them they love them for who they are, and not just what they can do in a relationship

not having a first kiss/first date/first relationship until they're considered a "late bloomer" by allos

learning how to recognize feelings of attraction and being routinely baffled by new emotions (and physical reactions) but enjoying the experience nonetheless

treating "dating" as a vector for reaching marriage, because why would you casually date someone if you don't intend to spend the rest of your life with them? relationships are few and far between, but more serious than their peers (especially in high school/college) (especially especially if raised in a religious household)

slowly testing the waters of physical affection: hand holding -> hugging -> cuddling -> kissing -> etc. and checking that each other are both comfortable at each stage

letting the aspec person initiate the next "level" of intimacy to signal they're ok with that

Alternate ways of showing affection like head butts, linking arms, using s/o as a pillow, kisses but on the hand, shoulder, cheek, etc. instead of lips

boundary levels changing depending on their mood and circumstances

Avoiding PDA, maybe even in front of friends or family because it just feels far far too intimate and awkward

Still gagging at other people's PDA

thinking in terms of "building" or "growing" in love, instead of "falling" in love

it's very important to the aspec one that their relationship doesn't eclipse their other friendships - making the effort to keep in touch, having the s/o be part of the friend group and the friends feel welcomed in their home to avoid 3rd wheel awkwardness

trying (and failing) to flirt with the s/o but its endearing anyhow because the attempt was made

Completely not understanding the premise of "They're a 10 but-" or having a "type", the answer to questions like that being "My type is s/o" or "They're a 0 unless they're s/o"

Part 2 here

[scholar-of-yemdresh]

Hot take but the aggressive hardline separation of asexual and aromantic is actually EXTREMELY harmful to a lot of ace/aro people.

Angry rant under the cut

It's one to thing to go: "okay yes sometimes they go together but it's important to remember that for some people they can be different things and you can be one and not the other"

And go: "These are TOTALLY DIFFERENT 100 always separate there is no intersection EVER and if you DARE to be both then you have to piecemeal your identity to not uwu invalidate others(we do not care that we are invalidating you though lol) Don't you DARE ever experience them together you are CONFLATING"

It's like yall just want asexual to = alloromantic only and aromantic to = allosexual only.

You don't give a shit about aroaces, aces who aren't alloromantic but don't ID as aromantic or aros who aren't allosexual but don't ID as asexual.

The aspec community despises us. We get talked down to demanded to split our identities apart for your comfort. We can't exist in certain spaces because our presence there is a personal affront to allo-aspecs. Shout out to the alloaros that bitch about those disgusting aroaces just clogging up the aromantic tag ☺. Shout out to the alloaces who can still love and aren't totally heartless monsters 🥺.

Don't talk about ace shit in the aro tags, Don't talk about aro shit in the ace tags...what's that you're both? And can't neatly separate them and it brings you comfort to be able to discuss your whole orientation? SHUT THE FVCK UP YOU CONFLATING IGNORANT SHIT HEAD.

If you want to be in the aromantic community you have to leave your ace-ness at the door same for asexual community and disregarding your aromantism.

A personal example was an Aspec discord server I was in that had two media recs channels one for sex repulsed people and the other for romance repulsed. Now the issue came is that they didn't acknowledge someone could be both i.e both sex & romance repulsed/just looking for media that had neither sexual nor romantic content, what this lead too is that the romance free media channel was filled with graphic hookup erotica or sexually explicit songs and the sex free channel was just fade to black romance books 🙃...wonderful.

Or when polls/forms will ask you to pick your orientation but only things listed are het,gay,bi/pan yes even the ones made by aspecs, and what they actually mean is use the one that correlates to your romantic/sexual attraction...so fvck aroaces and non sam aces & aros?

And don't get me started on how you treat non sam aces & aros. You at least tolerate the self IDing aroaces, because they have the "curtesy" of separating themselves from the real proper aces & aros.(let's not question how many aroaces would prefer to just ID as just asexual or just aromantic but are forced into aroace identity because that would be "conflating" and they don't want to deal with the harassment).

"UwU don't say asexual when you actually mean aromantic" Some bitches don't use to SAM fvck off with allo-splaining my own sexuality to me.

It would be so much easier and save a lot of pain if yall just went : "asexual for some means no sexual attraction and it says nothing of your romantic attraction AND some people use it to mean no attraction generally". And "aromantic for some means no romantic attraction and it says nothing of your sexual attraction AND some people use it to mean no attraction generally" and "for some they are separated but others not so much as there isn't always a strict separation. Just be chill about it don't accuse people of being ignorant or conflating they know their identities better than you". But no ya chose violent aphobia instead.

But ultimately nobody cares because this shit is only harming the undesirable aces/aros the ones who are harmful stereotypes the ones that make you "look bad".

I know deep in my heart there are a lot of alloaces & alloaros that who would be happy if aroaces & non sam aces/aros didn't exist, there I said it. How can I not come to that conclusion when at every turn they shit on us. They talk about how the worst thing in the world is to be mistaken for one of us. That our representation is actively harmful.

A last parting spicy take it's either "asexulity and aromantism are full identities on their own and aren't modifiers" OR "actually neither asexual nor aromantic can stand on their own they need to be paired with another orientation and they actually are just modifiers" you can't have it both ways. 🤭

[torimidori2-blog]

I'm poly, and I keep getting people who don't understand what the difference between polyamory, open relationships, and cheating, so let this be an educational moment for all the mono people out there.

Polyamorous is when someone is attracted to or in a relationship with more than one person at the same time. This is all with consent from everyone involved. A group of poly people who are dating are called a polycule. Just like regular monogamous relationships, poly relationships can consist of romantic, platonic, sensual, and sexual attraction, and can even be done with people who are aspec (on the ace spectrum).

An open relationship is when someone is attracted to more than one person, but the person who you're dating isn't attracted to the people you date. For example: if the relationship started of monogamous, and you decide you want to open the relationship in order to cater to a specific need that your current partner can't provide, that means you and your partner can see other people outside of your relationship with consent from your partner. Just like poly people, this can also be done between people who are aspec and you could have different reasons for wanting another separate relationship, whether you need a sensual, sexual, romantic, or platonic/queer platonic relationship. In my opinion, I think open relationships should be a last resort after communicating with your partner enough to where you both realize that your relationship needs aren't being met, but you still care enough about each other to still want to be together.

Cheating is when someone in a committed relationship sees other people without consent from their significant other(s). The reason why cheating is bad, is not because they're dating someone else, it's because you trusted them to not break the boundaries of the relationship by seeing other people, and they did anyway.

Even if you're in a poly relationship, you can cheat because if you didn't trust your partners enough to tell them that you're interested in seeing someone else and it breaks their boundaries and makes them feel violated and uncomfortable, that's cheating. It's also a danger to the polycule because they don't know the person you brought in and they weren't aware of you bringing them in. Why would you not tell your cule who you're dating when they're usually comfortable with letting more people in? For all we know, they could hurt the cule, or hurt you, or they could be hiding something themselves.

Someone who tells you that their actually poly after they got caught cheating is a blazing red flag. Cances are, they're just trying to find a valid excuse to cheat and get away with it. Someone who tells you that they want to open a relationship before sorting out the issues in their current relationship is a blazing red flag. Especially if you have a solution to the problems that you're facing, and it could've been solved through negotiating with your partner.

To be honest, as a poly person, I don't understand why cheating is a thing. For one, it could be because being monogamous is the societal norm, and seeing other people is a means of trying to secretly bypass that norm, but I don't think thats the case seeing that there is a whole cheating culture that proudly says that they like to cheat and gloat about how many people they play on a constant basis. It could be the fact that people just think that emotions are a game to be played with, or it could be some sort of insecurity that they have with the relationship they started before they decided to cheat. But fr, can someone tell me the reason why people cheat? I don't understand, and I need a real valid answer. Not some "They were boring and I don't like them anymore." because you can either do one of two things there, break up with them, or talk to them about how you feel and tell them what you want from them moving forward.

[cloudboundcritters]

hiya anon! I just wanna let you know that mspec lesbians and lesboys have existed for a long time! here's an link to an article from harvard all the way from 1987, telling us that bi people can be lesbians.

mspec lesbians and lesboys have always been welcome in the lesbian community since around the 1970's. the thing is that terfs chased them out during the lesbian separationist movement because in true terf fashion, they thought that any woman who even breathed near a man is automatically "not feminist enough".

The lesbians uncomfortable with mspec lesbians and lesboys probably also are uncomfortable with trans lesbians (transmasc, transfem, and transneutral), nonbinary lesbians, aspec lesbians, intersex lesbians, and multigender lesbians. heck those lesbians that you care about so much are probably terfs themselves

one more thing. if you see something you don't like, you have the option to scroll past it. the back button and tag filters are free, use it for fucks sake. you don't have to resort to being a dickhead to people you don't like. here's a reminder of the first rule of internet etiquette don't like, don't interact.

have you thought of that? its always the fucking terfs dude. get blocked idiot >:3

[lilacs-echoing]

its so important to recognize aspec people as part of pride. when i was at my first ever festival searching for aromantic/aroace things, i couldn't find any. i would leave booths feeling shame and embarrassment because people did not know what i was looking for. aroace is not a rare identity. it isn't something people only discuss online. it is a real community that deserves pride acknowledgement. please include our flag(s) in your celebration, merchandise, decorations, and support!

[hex12345678910]

Introduction

[Introduction]

(Hard to read text under the cut. Trigger warnings also under the cut)

Welcome to my online den!

Warnings:

[Warnings:]

Mentions of intrusive thoughts, anxiety, paranoia, anger issues, homicidal and suicidal thoughts.

Capital letters.

An image of a skull.

How to refer to me:

[How to refer to me:]

Note: I will occasionally refer to myself with ze/zi/zy pronouns instead of me/I/my.

Names: I have so many, there's no way im listing them all. My main one is Hex, but I also appreciate Dee and Raph (and other nicknames for Donatello and Raphael from TMNT).

Pronouns: Again, too many to list. My main ones are he/him/his/himself, they/them/their/theirs/themself, it/its/itself, and xe/xir/xirs/xirself.

Current prefered name(s) and pronouns: Star, Cipher, or Hunter, he/him.

My identity:

[My identity:]

Genders: I hoard xenogenders but, put simply, my gender is masc and connected to angels, cats, demons, blood, gore, water, the ocean, space and stars.

Attraction/orientations: Demiromantic, asexual, panromantic, and omniplatonic.

Other labels I use to describe my attraction (I'd list labels for my gender but I have waaaaay too many to list):

Biromantic

Neuroqueer

Arospec

Aspec

Ideromantic

Anthromantic

Medusan

Autiqueer

Fox pan

Alloromantic

Alloplatonic

Amid

Autiromantic

Encephaloromantic

Variorientated

Multiromantic

Psycheromantic

Sapioromantic

Bipan

NarcRomantic

Kitony

Narcplatonia

Hyperplatonic

If you want to know what any of these terms mean, ask me or look at the lgbtqia wiki.

I'm a therian (black house cat) and otherkin (winged cat-human hybrid, the stars, Donatello from ROTTMNT 2018, Raphael from TMNT 2012, Hunter from TOH, and light). I am feline cladolink (like cladotherian but otherlink) and funlink (fox). I'm also wolfkith and fictionkith (Leo from Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). I am a fictionflicker (my connections with Leo, Don, and Raph aren't related).

Current fictionflicker related identities: Eda and Harpy Eda from The Owl House

Other labels I use to describe my alterhumanity:

Alterhuman/alterbeing

Aldernic

Otherfix

Otherspin

Polykin

Fictionfolk

Nonhuman

Glitchkin

Divinekin

Angelkin

Paroulink

Godkin

Otherkith/otherhearted

Conceptkin

Starkin

Celestialkin

Spacekin

If you want to find definitions for any of these terms, look here. If you can't find a definition for any of them, ask me.

Some phrases I agree with:

[Some phrases I agree with:]

"My body, my choice"

"No one's free until we're all free"

"Fight the fascists"

"Love is love"

"Black lives matter"

Other information about me:

[Other information about me:]

I am a singlet (as in not plural) and a minor.

I am agnostic and an atheist.

I experience gender dysphoria and euphoria, species dysphoria and euphoria, phantom limb shifts, cameo shifts, sensory shifts (but not very strongly or often), and mental shifts (but only with fictionflicker related identities). My shifts are both involuntary and voluntary but mainly involuntary and my involuntary shifts are typically much stronger.

I'm autistic and have ADHD (combined type), and likely NPD (overt type). I have severe social anxiety. Due to my neurodivergence, I often misphrase things and can act inappropriately unintentionally. Please keep let me know if I have.

I am learning how to deal with anger issues in a healthy way.

I struggle with intrusive thoughts often.

Some of my special interests are:

Psychology

Neurodivergency and mental illnesses (specifically autism, ADHD, and personality disorders)

Queerness

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (specifically the turtles)

Gravity Falls

The Owl House

My current hyperfixation(s) are/is: Gravity Falls

If you are also interested in any of the above, please talk to me omigosh I'm desperate to talk about them!

I'm here to support the lgbtqia+ community, the alter/nonhuman community, discuss neurodiversity, disabilities, and disorders, share any xenogenders I coin and suggest neopronouns/xenopronouns to anyone who requests them! (If you want suggestions please ask)

If you want to vent, rant, ask anything, complain, if you need supply/compliments, etc just press the 'ask me anything' button <3

Tags:

[Tags:]

:3da-cat-speaks:3 (me talking)

:3da-cat-asks:3 (me asking questions for you, the folks of tumblr, to answer)

:3pronouns-of-the-day:3 (pronouns of the day) (I haven't used this for a while)

DNI (do not interact) if you:

[DNI (do not interact) if you:]

Are a queerphobe

Identify with transIDs*

Believe in thought crimes

Are radqueer

Are racist

Are ableist

Are sexist

Are fatphobic

Are anti non-traditional pronouns (e.g. text only, neos, etc)

Are anti alterhuman

Are anti age/pet/whatever regression

Are anti furry

Are a TERF

Are radfem

Are a fake claimer

Are an exclusionist

Are pro contact for harmful paraphilias

Are fascist

Are transmed

Use slurs you can't reclaim

Reality check other folks without their permission

Refuse to use other folks pronouns

Intentionally and willingly hurt and/or harass other folks

I'm aware DNIs don't work but please, if you're included in the above list, this blog isn't for you.

Paraphiles are ok if they're anti contact. Proshippers are ok if they're not hurting anyone in real life.

Other information about interacting with me (mostly about how I communicate):

[Other information about interacting with me (mostly about how I communicate):]

SFW (safe for work) interaction only! (Swearing is alright though)

I swear a lot (I am trying to swear less. I will try to replace swear words with words such as "frigging").

I tag trigger warnings for things like caps, swearing, etc.

Instead of using "people" I use "folk" because some folks (including myself) dislike being referred to as a "person". For me this is because, by definition, "person" refers to humans and I am not human.

I use caps to signify strong emotions, not to signify anger towards the reader.

I have heard that some folks use ":3" to mean a kissy face? So just to be clear, when I use ":3" this is to represent a cats smile. So it's me smiling. Not a kissy face.

Oh and I'll make this clear: I fully support physical alterhumans, lesbians with masculine or masculine-aligned gender(s) and gays with feminine or feminine-aligned gender(s) (and other contradictory labels), and systems of all origins.

Important links:

What are ABLE accounts

Clarifications:

[Clarifications:]

*this excludes transgender, transsexual, transspecies and the proper use of transracial (folks who are of a different race and/or ethnicity to their adoptive parents), and transage (an alter in a system who is of a different age to their body, or someone who is mentally a different age to their body due to neurodivergency or trauma) {please note that I am not transracial or transage and these definitions may not be accurate. I apologise if they are not}. This also excludes the reclamation of other transIDs to mean one is [thing] and also transgender, for example: one identifying as transautistic to mean they're autistic and transgender.

Also: I apologise for the mass of userboxes. I can't help myself :3

Technically this last one's false (I am both an angel and a god) but I really love the song.

[gaytventhusiast]

Labels, Asexuality, Aromanticism and Headcanon.

I need to just get this off my chest because it's a common trend I've noticed in a couple fandoms I'm in and I think it needs to be discussed. Of course I'm open to discussion on this. There's a chance I'm wrong.

Something about the way fandom treats s/x repulsed characters in media just sits with me bad. In multiple fandoms I've been in now, I've witnessed a clearly stated canonically s/x repulsed asexual character be put into 'intimate' situations under guise of a 's/x positive' interpretation. What bothers me, personally, is that these characters don't and would never. One example is with Jonathan Sims from The Magnus Archives. I have accidentally stumbled across explicit fics involving him before that are tagged 's/x positive asexual Jonathan Sims'. But the thing about him is that at no point in the podcast is he even mentioned to be asexual. In fact, the information you get about him is actually that he simply doesn't. That is all you know, that he doesn't, ever. And yet, due to the nuances of the asexual label and the fact that that description of Jon technically puts him under it, folks have been using those technicalities to put him into scenarios he never would enter into. As much as I hate to say it, it almost feels like there's a sort of s/x repulsed asexual erasure going on within the aspec community. And for context, this is coming from an aspec who is positive about that kind of intimacy. This is not just limited to asexuality either. I've also witnessed this happening to aromantic characters with fandom putting them in 'queer platonic relationships' that read as romantic ones. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a platonic pairing, in fact, I'm all for it. But time and time again I see sappy art with blushing or otherwise romantic undertones and I feel... just sort of weird about it. I understand where this all comes from. People have a desire to see themselves in characters and I respect that. But you can do that without the erasure of both asexuals and aromatics that simply do not. When it comes to being aro and/or ace, I recognise that, I, as someone who, although aspec, is still is open to relationships and 'intimacy', am far less scrutinised for it by society than those who aren't. And although sadly there is barely any representation in media for the kind of aspec I am, it doesn't mean that it feels okay to erase other asexual identities and their representation in the process. Summary: So this is all to say. It personally makes me uncomfortable when I see Repulsed Asexual and Aromatic characters turned pseudo-s/xual and romantic by the fans through the use of Label Nuances and Technicalities. (Note: This is not intended to be an attack on anyone personally. I simply think it's a much needed to be discussed topic that I've noticed happening more and more recently) On a more positive note: For anyone looking for aspec representation that involves a character who loves the idea of romance and has experienced giddy feelings in the past but comes to the realisation they might be aromantic through the help of an aroace friend, go listen to The Penumbra Podcast season 4 episode 'Rita Minute 4: 4Ever Love'. I've never felt so seen in terms of my sexuality before. It's an underrated gem of an aspec central minisode.

[leikeliscomet]

The reason I feel disconnected from the term alloace and its tag is bc it's just not specific enough and bc of that a lot of commentary on alloaces falls flat to me. The specific gender(s) you have romantic attraction for greatly determine what type of experience you will have. There are so many straight ace experiences I can't relate to. Can you safely express romantic attraction in public? Are depictions of your romantic attraction banned in books and TV/film? Then there's race too. When your race is sexualised and your asexuality is denied, how can you then express romantic attraction freely? When your race is simultaneously desexualised, are you even allowed conventional romance to begin with? When you are seen as a sexual being against your will how can you decentre sexual attraction when no one has ever believed you?

Aroallo on the other hand is used to describe the collective experience of aromanticism without asexuality so there's a consistent community for that that's grown but go to alloace and its less active and a series of random posts, not really 'collective community' stuff. Most alloace content isn't called alloace like aroallo content is called aroallo, but just asexual. There's many ace posts that would fit the label but aren't under the tag. Not sure why but I don't think it's that deep. A lot alloace posts aren't even about alloaces specifically, they're posts about arospec experiences either comparing alloaces implying there's a type of privilege or actively blaming us for arospec erasure. The erasure is real and their anger is justified but again it's assumed under the banner of alloace that having romantic attraction automatically guarantees a certain experience when it doesn't, historically or systemically. The most visible alloaces are predominantly white and cishet. The 'allo asexuality' they have is one a lot of alloaces are actively denied and so we actually have more in common with arospecs bc we both have relationship models and exploration of romance that goes against what is societally expected of us. I relate to Black arospecs bc we share the history of how Black people are sexualised and desexualised. I relate to lesbian arospecs bc our attraction to women is unconventional, experiencing 'half' and not the other.

I'm then left scratching my head being asked to use the privilege I don't have and use the visibility I don't get. Does the aspec community ask aspecs to stand with gay, bi, pan and lesbian aces? Do they make posts on how biphobia and acephobia overlap to protect bi aces? Do they ask aspecs to learn the history of how gay romantic lit was censored? Do they ask aspecs to support alloace victims/survivors with the sexual violence they experience from non-ace partners? Do they ask aspecs to unpack compulsory sexuality? Do they do the community support they wish to see themselves?

So yeah, I'm frustrated. With other parts if my identity and if I don't see certain posts about it I'd be like 'well stop complaining and be the one to say something then'. I could do up 'allo aces are valid' content but again, who would I be referring to? Would anyone care? Is it even possible to make a catchall post that fits the whole experience? It's looking like no. Again I need this community to start to looking outside the scope of their own personal aspec experience cus community is in the name but it doesn't feel like it.

[thermodynamic-comedian]

While we're on the topic of aro discourse, it's frustrating to me how platonic love seems to be a "replacement" for romantic love, at least in the aro tags. There is, of course, the implicit arophobia in "well you can't love people but at least you can feel platonic love!!". There's not really any change or reframing: to me it seems like people think aros should have one relationship that is more important and more intimate than their other relationships, and that they should reach some standard of partnering with the individual/s within that relationship (moving in together, for example). Just that this relationship is (queer)platonic. All the worst of amatonormativity wrapped up in a supposedly aro-friendly package.

I'm QP repulsed and friendship neutral aplatonic. As it stands aro spaces just do not include me, or the other aros that aren't interested in a queerplatonic relationship, or don't hold platonic love to a high degree of importance.

oh yeah, absolutely. overall there's a huge arophobia problem in the aspec community where a lack of romantic love is still seen as a moral failing that has to be made up for by either not experiencing sexual attraction (the puritan belief that sex is evil and only okay if you're in love) or feeling intense platonic attraction.

i can't speak for aplatonics as i'm not one and platonic love is a big part of my own personal aromantic identity, but i do absolutely agree that that's a problem in the aspec community.

[twomanyfandomshelp]

I’m rewatching Heartstopper because I literally cannot wait until October 3rd and I need more of this show pumped directly into my veins. It comes out two days after my seventeenth birthday, which is kinda exciting. But I digress.

I literally watched the whole first season today, which is quite impressive considering I actually did a lot of other things and didn’t start watching it until about two in the afternoon. And I finished it at like 10 pm, so it’s not like I stayed up super late to finish it either.

Rewatching this show I was giggling and kicking my feet and also yelling at the screen because sometimes the characters make kinda dumb choices and even though I already know how everything ends I still get way too invested. I just love this show so much, it’s such a comfort show for me.

My friend got me into the graphic novels right after season one released on Netflix, and after reading the whole series in two days (at the time there were four books, and soon after I found the WEBTOON and sped through that as well), I binged the entire show that day.

Heartstopper is such a pure show, and it just shows that representation is so important. I’ve heard so many stories of people realizing their sexuality (ME!) or finding the courage to come out to their parents or their friends or at school, and I think there’s just something so magical about this show.

Minor spoiler here, but Issac’s arc in season two was one of the things that kinda helped me realize that I was aroace because when I was watching the show and watching how he interacted with James and romance it made me think “huh, that’s kinda how I feel” and then I did some research (mostly comprised of scrolling the aromantic and asexual tags on tumblr, but a bit of googling as well) and realized that I’m aroace. So this show, that I already absolutely adored, suddenly became the catalyst for realizing my sexuality, and it just has such a special place in my heart. Whenever I’m sad I always rewatch the show or reread parts of the WEBTOON because it never fails to make me smile. To give me hope that there are others out there who are like me, even though all of my friends are straight and cis. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, I love my friends, and they were all very supportive when I came out to them, but they just don’t understand sometimes. They don’t really understand what it’s like to be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. To be different. It’s not like I’m out publicly, only a few of my close friends know, but it’s still hard sometimes not having anyone to talk to about all this (besides all my wonderful aspec moots of course). My irl friends just don’t understand that sometimes I feel broken, or like there’s something wrong with me. Because, even though I’m very comfortable with my sexuality, I’m in high school, and romance and sex are such a big thing, and it can sometimes be a little overwhelming or isolating when you don’t feel those forms of attraction. Especially when two of your best friends have boyfriends. And I’m very happy for them, but sometimes it stings a little knowing that I can never have that. Obviously queer platonic relationships exist, and that’s definitely something that I want for myself in the future, but it’s just different.

My mom watched the first season with me after I wouldn’t shut up about it, and then again when season two came out we watched it together (it was like my third watch through both times lol). Once season three comes out, and we see more of Issac’s arc of self discovery and figuring out his sexuality, I might end up using it as a bit of a starting point to come out to her, but I don’t know. I know that she and my dad are very supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community, but it’s just so different and scary. Any advice?

P. S. I did not mean to write this much, if you read this whole post, thank you. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read about my ramblings.

[ratnix]

I love being ace I love not understanding what the fuck s*xual attraction is and why would you want to do the devil's tango especially with someone you barely know I love giving the side eye to allosexuals I love screaming at too hot to handle contestants for being dumb I love headcanonning every single character as ace I love skipping s*x scenes in movies and making disgusted faces at them I love garlic bread I love dragons if you exclude aspec people when talking about the queer community come find me, I've the power of friendship on my side

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I’m aromantic, or at least I identify as such, but let’s say I figure out I’m alloromantic down the line. But I will probably still feel a connection to the aro community even though I don’t use any arospec labels anymore, because I still never liked the idea of romance or romantic relationships. Let’s even say I’m allosexual so I’m just not aspec in any way so that’s a double whammy. How would I deal with that? Like how would I think of that in my brain? Would I go “hell yeah love loses!!!” and have to follow that up with “I am actually alloromantic”?

Idk does anyone have this kind of experience? The reason I am asking is because I am currently questioning and idk what will happen after I am done questioning.

Different people tend to have different experiences, but it's not unusual when questioning if you're aro to eventually decide alloromantic is the right label afterall. And that's what questioning is for, it's not a commitment, no matter how much time you spend exploring a label or even trying it on, it doesn't mean you're obligated to keep it. It also doesn't mean your time spent with the label and exploring it can't still mean something to you if you want it to. So try and just do what's best for you, Anon. And trust that whatever label(s) you end up going with the end will feel good and feel right for you.

I'll throw this out to followers too, if anyone has experience either identfying or questioning as aro and eventually identifying as alloromantic? Do you want to talk about it? Share your own expriences? Have your own thoughts or advice? Please do share if you want to!