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You know who has unmitigated access to my (and all of federal employeeâs) sensitive information?
Hereâs a hint: itâs not tiktok!
Itâs Musk. Itâs Musk and his goons that have taken over the Office of Personnel Management. Iâm not kidding they have physically taken over the physical office and the database that stores federal employeesâ information like pay scale, social security number, home addresses, etc. and itâs now left unprotected.
This should concern everyone because the federal government is the largest employer in the country and I can guarantee that you, the like 5 people who may read this post, or someone you know is or has been a federal employee. And now that information is in the hands of Elon Musk and we donât know what he is going to do with that information. No, seriously, officials who once oversaw the database and protected that data have said that âthereâs no visibility into what theyâre doing with the computer or the data,â and âthereâs no oversight.â Because Musk and his private employees have physically moved and locked people out of their offices and have changed it so that the people who previously oversaw and had access can only get to their emails.
Right now we know that right now Musk and âOPMâ is using the data to send poorly worded emails to all federal employees that are meant to coerce and scare people into taking a shitty deal and resigning. But then what? This is the tip of the iceberg. They have so much data and information for millions of people that the possibilities are endless.
So check in on your friends and neighbors who are federal employees. Weâre scared and uncertain about so many aspects of our jobs and our lives. We have been hit with wave after wave of insulting emails telling us that weâre not good at our jobs and that actually our jobs are worthless. Weâre facing so many rumors about who has our personal information and whatâs being done with it. We are just so tired. And itâs week two. Thatâs the point - to exhaust us into submission. To my fellow federal workers, hold the line. Weâre stronger together and we will get through this.
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/musk-aides-lock-government-workers-out-computer-systems-us-agency-sources-say-2025-01-31/
#i hate it here#federal government#federal workers#politics#us politics#donald trump#tiktok#tiktok ban
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Still working on getting everything set up how I like it on Palamedes (the new laptop) and was reminded of my favorite browser extensions everyone should know about -- Unpaywall and Library Extension
Unpaywall automatically searches a database of open-access sources to let you know if an academic article you're looking at is available anywhere for free. (And yes, I know there are other ways of getting your hands on them if there aren't open-access options, but it's an easy, convenient first step in the search!)
Library Extension is kind of similar, except it's an extension that tells you if your local library (or its Hoopla catalogue, or various online sources like Open Library) has a book available in a little box that shows up if you're looking at titles on Amazon, Goodreads, or their less evil counterparts -- Bookshop and Storygraph, respectively. It even has a button that automatically takes you to the page to request it as a hold from the library instead, which I know is amazing for my "I'll look that up later [does not look that up later]" ADHD brain.
I cannot recommend these extensions enough, and the ease and convenience of both of them have definitely helped me read more academics articles and books than I would have otherwise. Definitely check them out if you're not already using them!
#also taking the chance to say that bookshop and storygraph are great alternatives to the evil websites#but that's a whole different beast#i just really love both these extensions and was getting library extension set up again tonight and thought#hey. tumblr is also full of nerds who would appreciate these
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for the fear of falling apart | part two
returning to Everett Lynch's case, you try to redefine normalcy with Spencer and JJ, but Grace Lynch has other plans for you
part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | epilogue
series masterlist
who? spencer reid x jareau!reader category: angst, hurt/comfort content warnings: gun violence, spoilers/references to: 9x6 "in the blood", 9x14 "200", 9x23 "angels", 9x24 "demons", 13x22 "believer", 14x1 "300", 14x15 "truth or dare". rewrite of 15x1 "under the skin", 15x2 "awakenings". a lot of dialogue is pulled directly from the show. hospitals/medical information. diana's alzheimers. marriage talk. roslyn's suicide. the parentification of jennifer jareau. mommy AND daddy issues. fear of drowning. word count: 7.48k a/n: it's two days late, but it's three times longer than part one. welcome to the abyss of my brain. it's scary in here.
Your name was being called. First, it felt far away, slowly coming closer and closer, lifting you to the surface as if you were being pulled. The sound was muffled until you broke through the barrier, a female voice clearly called your name, prompting your eyes to fly open, and there you were, sitting up on Penelopeâs velvet couch, cocooned in a crocheted blanket with what was sure to be a remarkable bedhead.
Lifting your hand and placing it over your racing heart, you looked up at Penelope, the blue streak that you had redone for her last night prominent against her blonde hair. âHey,â you said, widening your eyes and letting the blanket fall from your shoulders.
She crooked a brow at you suspiciously. For someone who wasnât a profiler, she did have a knack for reading people, but you supposed it came with the territory. âMy darling girl, you are always more than welcome to sleep on my couch, itâs a wonderful couch, I have spent my fair share of nights sleeping on it,â she rambled, sitting down next to you and taking your hands in hers. âYouâre hiding,â she told you softly, âWhat are you hiding from?â
Penelope reached out to you, sweeping a messy strand of hair behind your ear as her big, brown eyes looked at you sympathetically. The gesture and the way she was speaking to you nearly approached being sisterly. At the idea of developing a supplemental sororal relationship with the technical analyst, you pulled away from her. You shook your head, âIâm not hiding,â you told her simply, leaving her with a half-truth as you stood up and began folding the blanket that had kept you warm overnight.
Nodding incredulously, she looked up at you, âIf your Luddite boyfriend is blowing up my phone, then something has to be going on.â Her tone was urgent, but she stayed seated, giving you an advantage.
âNothingâs wrong, Pen,â you reassured her, shaking your head and shrugging simultaneously.
Her face filled with doubt, glancing over at your cellphone as it buzzed on the coffee table, Spencerâs contact flashing on the touchscreen as you ignored the call. âWhy didnât you tell him you were staying with me last night?â
Pressing your lips in a thin white line, you briefly considered coming clean. You envisioned the truth coming out of you in puddles, everything you had been holding close to your chest for the last month pouring out like alphabet soup, but Penelope didnât deserve that burden. âI just forgot,â you told her, watching the screen go dark.
Spencer was a worrier by the influence of his environment. Adamantly against getting a new phone, he couldnât see your location at any given moment. His first course of action was usually calling your sister before resorting to Penelope, who not only has your location on her phone but also has access to your location in the bureau database. It wasnât a fault of his, members of the BAU did have a tendency to disappear in the dead of the night.
She urged you to call him back as her phone started going off, her shoulders slumping forward, a tell-tale sign that the BAU was being pulled in on a case. If you were lucky, you would be able to slip through the cracks, claiming to put all of your focus into the case so that you didnât need to have an in-depth conversation with your boyfriend. Or your sister, for that matter.
âWhere are we headed?â You asked, rolling up your sleeves and crossing your arms in front of your stomach.
Penelope frowned at the tiny screen in front of her, âBaltimore,â she said hesitantly, âUh, we gotta go. Iâll drive? You can call Spencer on the way,â she suggested before bolting into the bathroom.
You ended up avoiding the call to Spencer yet again, claiming youâd see him at the office anyway, and instead opening yourself up to a barrage of questions.
Was there cheating? Are you pregnant? Were you pregnant? Did he propose? Did you say no? Did you say yes?
The two of you parted as she went to prepare files and you waltzed into the bullpen, clocking the vase of flowers on your desk immediately. They, of course, werenât just flowers, but a carefully calculated decision made to try and get into your good graces. This was the fifth vase that had been delivered in the last month.
First, there were honeysuckles, a symbol of devoted affection. Red carnations told you that his heart ached for you. A bouquet of daisies because he truly loved you. Last week, white lilies were left on your desk, a symbol of pure love.
Now, a bunch of apple blossoms sat on your desk, telling you that he preferred you before anyone else. How poignant.
Your eyes burned as you looked around the bullpen, hoping he was around so you could return the flowers to him, but the only people you saw were Emily and Rossi, sequestered in her office in the middle of what seemed to be a tense discussion. Choosing to ignore the flowers, you walked over to your desk, tucking your go-bag underneath and starting to power up your computer.
âHey, Y/N?â Emily called from her office, âCan you head to the file room and pull everything from the Lynch case?â She didnât even wait for an answer before closing the door again.
Concerned, you turned around and started making your way to the file room. If Everett Lynch was back, that would explain the worried look on Penelopeâs face when the case came in. Even more, that would explain why Emily and Rossi were hidden in her office. Every member of the team wanted to see Lynch locked up for what heâs done, but for Dave it was personal.
Opening the file room, you pulled open the drawer of active cases from the past three months, starting to strip the drawer of anything even remotely related to Everett Lynch. The revelation that Grace was his daughter took everyone by surprise, but Spencer still felt responsible for Luke getting knifed. You should talk to him about it, you thought to yourself, if he didnât talk about it, heâd just continue to internalize it.
âI need to talk to you,â a voice said suddenly from behind you, jolting you away from your train of thought. Spinning on your heel, you looked at Spencer.
Alarmed, you huffed, âYou scared me,â you informed him, clutching the files close to your chest as you studied his stature. He looked fine, his hair was a bit of a mess, but he was wearing the red cardigan that you had gotten him for Christmas last year. You didnât even want to begin to consider the implications of his outfit choice.
He furrowed his brows at you, âI scared you? You disappeared last night without a word, and I scared you?â There wasnât even a hint of anger in his voice, instead, his words dripped in sweet melancholy, and you couldnât look away from him.
You thought about your sister, snatched from the nationâs capital in the middle of the night as vengeance for her work with the CIA. Spencer and Penelope, both taken from what should have been a secure FBI building by a cult that bore a decade-long grudge against the BAU. You had frightened him, probably tripping his overactive mind into believing you were destined to meet a similar fate â dying in a warehouse somewhere. Blinking absently, you shook your head at him, âIâm sorry,â you told him, and you meant it.
âYouâre punishing me,â he accused, crossing his arms in front of his chest before quickly dropping them, being hypervigilant about his body language.
Skimming your tongue over the backs of your teeth nervously, you hesitantly met his gaze. He seemed to be convinced that you were punishing him for the events that had taken place last month, but you were inclined to believe that you were punishing yourself, he was caught in your crossfire. âItâs not a punishment, Spence,â you whispered, watching how his brown eyes shone under the fluorescent lights.
His shoulders dropped, disappointment plain on his face, âI missed you at the baby shower,â he confessed.
âSprinkle,â you corrected.
âSemantics,â he retorted, and it almost brought a smile to your face.
You looked down at the files in your arms, not even realizing that you had been white-knuckling the classified information, âI was there,â you disputed. âI saw you. I brought the gift and put both of our names on it. What more could I have done?â
Rolling his eyes, he gave you a tilted look, âStanding together in the group photo wouldâve been nice.â
In response, you straightened up your back, âAh, you were too busy standing with my sister,â you quipped, bringing the conversation back to the root of the conflict.
âWill you come home tonight? Stay with me?â Your heart clenched at his question.
Hesitantly, you nodded, âIâll be there,â you assured him, securing the last of the files before sneaking around him, skillfully avoiding the remainder of your team as you made your way to the roundtable room.
âIâm worried about Dave,â you whispered, looking at the other end of the couch at your boyfriend, the two of you dressed in pajamas, your old Georgetown sweatshirt frayed at the cuffs, but it remained your favorite.
The orange print of his Caltech t-shirt was peeling up on the edges, sometimes, at night, youâd pick at the emblem â it drove Spencer crazy, especially when he woke up in a pile of picked vinyl. His mug was carefully resting in his hands as the two of you had a nighttime cup of tea, something you used to do when you had just started dating, and that you decided to try to bring back â chamomile for you, lavender for him. âI talked to him tonight,â he told you, turning to face you, âHeâs.. heâll be fine. He has Krystall.â
And I have you, you thought to yourself, lifting your mug to your lips and taking a sip. Sometimes you felt special for getting this side of Spencer, the ratty college t-shirt and flannel pajama pants that he wore while lounging on the worn leather couch.
âDo you want to go to sleep?â He asked when you didnât respond, leaning forward and setting his mug on the coffee table.
Shaking your head, you followed suit, setting your mug on a coaster next to his before crawling closer to him on the couch, taking him by surprise. âNot yet,â you whispered, sitting down next to him, relieved when he responded by putting an arm around you. âIâm not mad at you,â you told him, âI just needed time.â
His arm was warm and familiar over your shoulders, having the same effect as a weighted blanket, calming you down with a simple touch. âTo think,â he said, âyou keep saying that. Are you⌠do you need more time?â
You closed your eyes, leaning into him, âI donât think so, but Iâm,â you faltered, frowning, âIâm having a hard time talking to my sister.â It wasnât a secret that there had been some sort of falling out between the Jareau sisters, but the reasoning behind the rift remained a mystery to most people.
âI am too,â he admitted, skimming his fingertips up and down your arm. âI keep recalling everything that happened, and I donât fully understand how everything got so messed up.
Raising your eyebrows, you remained in the crook of his arm, âPeople say a lot of things with a gun to their head.â
What you hadnât considered was that following her admission, your sister would avoid Spencer. When you decided to avoid both of them, you had no idea what you were taking from him. âWhat would your truth have been?â
âIâm afraid that everything surrounding me is destined to fall apart,â you admitted. âI was brought into my family in an attempt to rescue my parentsâ marriage, but it didnât work.â Your sister slit her wrists open when you were only four years old, but somehow your father had put her death on your shoulders. JJ left home as soon as she could, leaving you at twelve years old with your grief-stricken mother, who had spent the last several decades waiting for the day her daughters would all be reunited.
Spencer was quiet for a while before responding to you, âWe should go to bed.â
He was probably right, the team was expected to be in early tomorrow morning. After leaving well past dark, the last thing you wanted to think about was going back in before the sun had a chance to rise. âWait,â you said, âWhatâs your truth?â
Briefly, his eyes flickered, looking down the length of your body, âMy truth is that Iâm tired, we should go to sleep,â he told you, herding you toward your shared bedroom.
âSame time tomorrow?â You asked, walking through the bedroom and into the ensuite, grabbing your toothbrush off the counter.
Nodding, he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to your temple, âIâll be there.â
Maybe you shouldâve taken it as a sign that you were unphased by the revelation of a crazy doctor with a fetish for skinning people. The world had strange ways of telling you that you needed to take a step back, for every sign you had been given, you took a step forward. That was how you ended up in the backseat of an SUV with your sister at the wheel and Spencer in the passenger seat.
Everett Lynch had invaded the BAUâs territory, coming in like an infestation in the district, and he was trying to break his daughter Grace out of jail. You heard through the phone that they were scrambling tactics, using the walkie-talkies in the U.S. Attorney building to prevent their own capture.
The car came to a screeching halt, and the three of you piled out, âThereâs no time,â your sister said, looking around, âWeâll cover this one,â she informed Spencer, looking back at you as you adjusted the strap of your Kevlar.
âIâll take the garage on Piedmont and 10th,â Spencer responded dutifully, nodding at the both of you before turning around and running to the parking garage two blocks over.
You and your sister started to make your way into the larger of the two parking garages, both of you pulling your firearms and pointing them down, keeping yourselves aware of your surroundings. There was movement in front of you, two bodies moving toward a white van with federal plates â the Lynchâs. âEverett Lynch,â you called out, âDrop your weapon and put your hands up, now!â
The man in front of you â the so-called Chameleon â scoffed in disbelief, âTake it easy. Thereâs no reason to gun down a daddy in front of his little girl, right?â You kept your Glock aimed at him, watching intently as he carefully set his gun on the ground. Sirens started going off in your head, a premonition of things to come.
âAlright,â JJ shouted, âKick it over. Grace, you too. Drop your backpack and let me see your hands. Come on, now!â
Putting her hands up, Grace let her backpack fall to the ground in a heap of fabric, you kept your gun trained on them as JJ lunged to the side, reaching over to pick up Everettâs gun from the ground. âGrace!â You shouted, watching the girl bring her hands down as she reached for something, âPut your hands back up!â
It was a split-second decision, but you watched as Grace lifted that gun in her hands, and you jumped. You knocked your sister over as three shots rang through the air, the first one grazed her arm. The next two lodged themselves in your side as the two of you fell to the ground, your body rolling along the ground as the father-daughter duo loaded themselves in the van before driving off.
JJ grabbed her weapon and shot after them, hoping to blow out one of their tires or at the very least slow them down, but with only one good arm, her aim was off. She scrambled to her feet, âCome on, Y/N,â she huffed, not checking behind her before running out of the parking garage.
You wanted nothing more than to follow her. Being angry wasnât worth it anymore, you couldnât freeze out your older sister anymore. You tried to breathe, you tried to call after her, but when you opened your mouth, the only thing that came out was blood.
For your entire life, you had followed her. When asked what you wanted to be when you grew up, youâd tell them you wanted to be like your big sister. You wanted to follow her, but you couldnât move.
You followed her from East Allegheny to Washington D.C. You had followed her into this very parking garage. Now, all you could think about was following Roslyn, bleeding out on the cold hard floor, alone.
âY/N, whatâs your location?â Spencerâs voice rang through your radio.
You had never been shot before. You had always thought it would be cold to be shot, but instead, your whole body felt like it had been set on fire.
âY/N, do you copy?â
The wetness of the blood should have made it cold.
âY/N?â
Your fire was slowly fading, the blaze that had gone up so quickly began to ebb as you stopped feeling anything at all. The tapping of shoes echoed through the parking garage as you lay on the cement.
âNo,â that all too familiar voice said, âY/N is down, sheâs been hit. We need an ambulance now,â Spencer called into the radio, he was out of breath as he looked down at you.
He studied your appearance, clocking the entry wounds on your side and moving his fingers in an attempt to staunch the bleeding. An odd, choked noise escaped your throat as the pressure on your side stoked the fire.
Spencerâs fingers trembled even as he maintained pressure on your side, âI know, Iâm sorry, I know it hurts.â He took a deep breath, âhere, turn- turn your head,â he instructed gently, using his free hand to coax your face to the side. You choked and came to the horrifying realization that he was trying to stop you from aspirating on your own blood. âGet it all out, baby,â he cajoled as blood spurted from your mouth, âItâs okay. Iâve got you.â
That would have to be enough. It wasnât enough for you to hope anymore. You had spent so long with the Anger and Resentment from your Pandoraâs Box that you completely failed to notice how Hope had slipped through the cracks, lost in a sea of emotions.
âDo you hear that? Thatâs the ambulance,â he told you, an unspoken plea in his voice.
But you couldnât hear the sirens, pretty soon, you couldnât hear anything at all.
The EMTs had all kinds of things to say, none of them were even remotely comforting. The bullets had entered through the thin opening of your Kevlar, a sort of Achilles heel where you couldnât be protected. He should have double-checked, he should have paused to adjust the straps before running to the other parking garage.
He watched the doctors shock you in the emergency room, looking on in horror as your heart stopped beating. âAre you her husband?â One of the nurses had asked.
Spencerâs mouth had gone completely dry, âIâm- almost,â he answered, earning a sympathetic look from the nurse as she proceeded to ask him questions about next of kin and extraordinary measures. One of the bullets had pierced your lungs, causing catastrophic bleeding.
The nurse guided him to a surgical waiting room, but no one came out to him with updates, leaving him to sit. Someone brought his go-bag by, letting him change into clothes that werenât blood-soaked.
He sat in a pile of limbs on the hospitalâs couch, picking at the crusted blood that he hadnât quite managed to wash off, and he wondered if he could ask one of the nurses for a surgical scrub brush, wondering if that would get the last flecks of blood from the ridges of his fingernails.
âSpencer,â JJ called out, rushing through the hallway, Will trailing close behind her.
Her arm was wrapped with gauze, probably stitched up before someone told her what had happened to her little sister. âHey,â Spencer said, standing up as they approached, wiping his clammy hands on his slacks.
JJ held her hands out, âWhat have you heard? Anything?â
âItâs gonna be a while,â he said, repeating the only words that he had been told. They had taken you to the OR an hour ago, and all they had to do was wait it out.
The clinical white walls of the hospital were enough to make Spencer stir crazy, when Will offered to get him a cup of coffee, he was almost aggressive in his rejection. The sunlight reflected off the drywall as your surgery continued to test his patience.
Eventually, your mother called JJ back, and your sister walked away in order to explain the situation under the guise of privacy, leaving Spencer alone. âDr. Reid?â Someone said, maintaining the reverent tones of the hospital that were beginning to make him want to pull his hair out.
âYes,â he said, standing up in front of the nurse.
The nurse gave him a gentle smile, and he braced himself for the worst. âMs. Jareau is out of surgery,â she informed him.
You had been in there for nearly six hours. âSheâŚâ he faltered, âCan I see her?â He asked, looking past the nurse as if he could see all the way into your recovery room from where he stood.
Nodding, the nurse continued to smile at him, âI can take you to her now if youâd like. Sheâs still under sedation,â she advised, gesturing for Spencer to follow her through the winding hallways of the hospital.
âIs she going to be okay?â He asked, checking to make sure he had his phone in his pocket so he could text JJ if he needed to.
The nurseâs smile tightened, âWe wonât be able to know if sheâs sustained any neurological damage until she wakes up.â
He frowned slightly, bracing himself for an answer that he wouldnât like, âCould she hear me if I talk to her?â He asked, stopping in his tracks as the nurse stopped outside of a room â your room.
âItâs unlikely,â the nurse answered.
That made sense to him, there werenât any studies that could prove that people could hear external stimuli while comatose. At least, there wasnât enough for the medical community to reach a consensus. âThank you,â Spencer said, nodding at the nurse as she turned away, letting him know that the doctor would be by to talk to him soon.
Your skin was pallid, a sickly sheen covering your skin as tubes and wires worked together to monitor you and keep your body going. Spencer set your patient bag in the corner of the room before dragging a chair over to your bedside, cringing at the sound the chair made against the linoleum before taking a seat next to you.
The steady beeping of your heart monitor quickly became the only thing preventing him from falling apart entirely. âIâm so sorry,â he whispered, keeping his voice down so that no one else would hear him. âI keep going over it in my head and I donât know how I didnât realize you were missing sooner,â he spoke to your silent body, chest rising and falling with even breaths. âIâm so sorry,â he echoed, âYou shouldâve⌠you shouldâve been my priority. Before Grace. Before Lynch. Before any of it.â
He inhaled shakily, glancing over at your vital monitor, taking comfort in the consistency of the numbers, âI shouldâve put you first and now I- I canât take it back,â he said, eyes burning with emotion. âI know things between the two of us have been kind of weird lately⌠ever since the pawn shop, I mean. I just,â he paused for a moment, giving himself grace, âI donât know what to do with it. I donât know if she meant it and if she did, what does that mean? When you didnât bring it up after the wedding I didnât either because I just didnât know how to talk to you about it.â
Somewhere along the way, the two of you had gotten lost. In the midst of not talking about the pawn shop, you had stopped talking altogether. âNow, all of a sudden, none of it even matters. All that matters is that I need you to wake up because I need to have more time with you,â he sniffled, the first hot tears rolling down his cheeks. âI canât imagine my life without you in it,â he whispered.
âPlease donât leave me,â he begged, thinking of all of those nights the two of you had stayed up talking about the future. Your dream wedding. Your childrenâs names. He needed it. More of it. More of you.
Mindful of you, he laid his arms on the armrest of your hospital bed, lowering his head and watching the consistent rise and fall of your chest, listening to the whistling of your nostrils as he waited for the doctor to come.
The doctor seemed confident that you would wake up, it was just a question of when. He sent JJ, who had gone home to change into fresh clothing, an update once the doctor left.
Every once in a while, your nose would twitch or your finger would tap on the hospital bedding, and he would allow himself to get his hopes up. It never lasted long, once the fluke ended, he went back to thinking about the situation realistically. You were still having blood transfused, there was a tube in your chest depositing fluids into a bag at your bedside, and even if you did wake up, there was a long road to recovery with an injury like this.
He was terrified that youâd wake up alone and in excruciating pain, so he refused to move, having any paperwork brought directly to him in your room. Nearly every fifteen minutes, he smoothed out the blanket that rested on top of you, careful when putting his hands near your body, even though you couldnât tell whether or not your blanket was wrinkled. Spencer thought of it as tucking you in, keeping you safe, but he couldnât help but wonder if it was too little too late.
You didnât make it to the beach as often as youâd like. Spencer hated the beach, and you werenât interested in swimming in the ocean so much as you wanted to go and people-watch. Families on vacation. Marriage proposals.
The first time you had ever gone to the ocean, you were three years old. JJ and Roslyn hadnât been in years, but it was all new to you. JJ wanted to bring you to the water, and Roslyn hadnât even wanted to go on the trip. The water hadnât scared you then, the endless abyss of blue had seemed more inviting than anything you had ever seen before.
Now, you lay on the sand, all of it cold beneath your skin, the rest of the beach seemingly abandoned. Try as you might, you couldnât move anything. You wanted to lift your arm to brush hair out of your face. You wanted to sit up. You wanted to go home.
You couldnât even see the water from where you lay, you opened your mouth, hoping to call for help, but were surprised when the only thing that came out of your mouth was a dark, black sludge. It spurted from your mouth as it ran down your cheeks, staining the white sand of the beach beneath you. You were drowning on dry land, and there was nothing you could do.
Nothing but open your eyes.
The ominous white sky of the beach turned into white walls, as you fluttered your eyes open, the ocean made way for you, parting so that you could return to yourself. Laid in a hospital bed, trying to remember how to breathe, and meeting Spencerâs stare.
âHi love,â he whispered, gently placing one hand on top of yours, drawing circles on the back of your hand with the pad of his thumb, careful not to knock your pulse oximeter off.
Your brows pinched together as you looked over at him, he looked tired, waiting for you to say something. Your chest felt tight as you looked at him, hundreds of thoughts bubbling to the surface, but only one bubble popped, âI had a nightmare.â
Spencer nodded slowly, messy curls falling over his forehead, âItâs okay, angel. Youâre awake now. It canât hurt you.â
It canât hurt you. It canât hurt you. It canât hurt you.
You watched as Spencer reached over and pushed the call button on your bed. Each moment you spent awake became increasingly painful, signified by the slow rise of your heart rate, the pain only exacerbated when your breathing quickened. Alarm grew, âShh, hey,â Spencer consoled you, reaching his hand out and smoothing your hair back, looking to the door and hoping someone would come in and help you.
They did, pushing pain medications through your IV and watching your heart rate stabilize before giving you something to help you calm down. Spencer probably knew what they all were, making mental notes to keep track of everything as he kept his hand in yours. Your pain level dwindled from a nine to a six, leveling out in the middle ground.
You settled back into the pillows, cringing as a nurse moved your bed so that you were sitting up slightly, nodding softly at the things that she told you about rest. She checked your vitals, before leaving the two of you alone, silence swirling around the two of you as you constructed a bubble to keep yourselves warm.
âI shouldâve found you sooner,â he whispered, looking over at you, a distressed look in his eyes.
Moving at a turtleâs pace, you shook your head, âYou saved my life.â
Itâs okay. Iâve got you, he had told you in the parking garage, and he did. He still had you, even now. If they had let him, Spencer mightâve waited for you outside the operating room, just to be in the vicinity of you.
âDonât go anywhere,â you murmured, eyes opening and closing slowly. Your eyelids felt sticky like there was still tape residue on them from your operation, but you didnât dare move. You didnât dare agitate any wound on your body. âIs JJ okay?â You asked, your voice tight. Checking in on your sister took all of your strength.
Spencer kept his hand in yours, moving his free hand to wipe at tears that had spilled over your lower lashline. âSheâs fine, just a graze,â he reassured you, âIâll call her when you go back to sleep.â
You swallowed thickly, wondering if you were allowed to have any water, âI missed you,â you breathed, fighting to keep your eyes open. âI wanna talk to you,â you sniffled.
âYou should sleep, my sweet girl,â he answered, not wanting you to get into a hefty conversation in your condition. âWe have all the time in the world to talk when you wake up.â
Except you didnât. You had thought there was time for you to be angry, but then you had been shot. As much as you hated the idea of being someone who had a near-death experience and suddenly let bygones be bygones, alienating those close to you seemed exhausting. You took a deep breath, thankful for the nasal cannula on your face, âIâve been so distant,â you admitted.
Spencer hesitated, not sure if you needed to get into this while so vulnerable, âI donât know if she meant it,â he breathed.
âI donât need to know,â you told him, surprising yourself as much as him with your admission. âJJ is⌠Sheâs one of the most important people in my life, but so are you. Maybe even more so.â
He frowned, âYou canât possibly mean that.â
You closed your eyes for a few seconds before opening them again, âJJâs my sister, we share the same family, but I chose you, Spence. I will continue to do so,â you told him, deciding against adding until the day that I die. Watching him as he looked at you with tear-filled eyes, âOh,â you sighed, âplease donât cry. I never meant to hurt you.â
Waving off your concern, he wiped at his eyes before taking one of your hands in both of his, âI love you so much, but I donât want you to forget your anger.â
âHuh?â You hummed groggily.
âYouâve been mad for months,â he whispered, the strokes of his thumb on the back of your hand putting you to sleep. âIt doesnât need to fade away in the blink of an eye.â
You let your eyes slip shut once again, âIâll still give you a hard time.â
He laughed slightly at that, âGood.â
âSpence?â You breathed.
âYeah, baby?â
Humming, you settled back into the bed, âI donât think Iâll be able to make our tea date tonight.â
When you woke up again, a familiar blonde was sitting at the foot of your bed, hunched in a plastic hospital chair while Spencer remained at your bedside, hands still intertwined, but sweaty now. âJennifer,â he said, getting the attention of your sister.
She jumped up from the chair and sat on the edge of your bed, in your periphery, you saw Spencer retreat, ambling into the hallway to talk to Emily. Letting him go, you turned your attention to your sister, âHey, Jayg,â you greeted, words coming easier now than they did before, the swelling of your throat had gone down.
Her finely chiseled eyebrows pinched together on her face, âI thought you were right behind me,â she admitted miserably, looking at your torso.
âItâs alright now, though,â you tried to reassure her. You had lost half of your blood volume, much of it on the parking garage floor, but you were here now, that had to mean something.
She shook her head in abject self-disappointment, âI should have protected you,â she insisted, scrunching up her nose as she fought back tears.
You were too tired to fight emotions, water falling from your tear ducts as the two of you tried to mend what had previously been torn apart. âYou donât need to protect me,â you insisted. The decision to take the hit had been entirely your own, driven by a need to protect her.
âI always have though,â she reminded you, âWhen Roz died, dad left, and mom checked out, I took care of you.â
When you were a child, you thought that having your pre-teen sister do everything for you was the way things worked. It didnât last long, things unraveled from there, but you always had JJ. âIâm all grown up now,â you reminded her. You didnât need her protection in your early thirties in the same way you needed them as a child.
JJ took a shaky breath, cupping your cheek with her hand affectionately, the way a mother would to their child, âYouâre always going to be my little sister.â
You looked at her, seven years your senior, and you sighed, âDo you know why I did it?â You asked her, studying the sad look in her eyes.
She smoothed your hair back, grabbed a cup of water from your bedside, and brought the straw to your lips, âWhy, Ducky?â
The childhood nickname chimed in your ears, one of the only things that you retained from your eldest sister. You smiled at her, âYour boys.â The answer came easily to you, âYou have Will and your tiny people, and I just thought⌠I couldnât let you leave them.â
âBut I almost lost you,â she countered, it wasnât aggressive, it was almost like she was trying to make you see the value in your own life. The people in your life didnât make you valuable, you had value as an individual.
Shrugging, you looked at her sympathetically, âNope,â you said, popping the âpâ, âYouâre stuck with me.â
She gave you a sisterly, knowing look, âYour heart stopped. Twice.â
You concurred, âYeah, because youâre just that stuck with me.â You insisted, watching as Spencer answered a phone call in the hallway. âDid you call them?â You asked her, giving her a quick glance as you craned your neck to keep an eye on your boyfriend.
âMomâs on a flight in tomorrow morning, but dad hasnât responded to my voicemail,â she informed you, she didnât look surprised, and you didnât feel it.
Where your father was concerned, some things were better left unsaid, but you wouldnât necessarily mind if he never responded to your sisterâs calls. There was no reason to drag him and his new wife from their cushy life in Florida. Spencer reentered the room as JJâs phone started ringing â Will â and the two of them traded off, amicably splitting time with you.
Greeting him with a content smile on your face, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your hairline, âI have to go,â he told you reluctantly.
You tried not to let any disappointment show on your face, âWhy? Whatâs wrong?â You asked, studying his face for any sign of what his phone call had been about.
âThat was Brookfield on the phone,â Spencer said, checking all of the monitors that surrounded you.
The grim look on his face made sense to you. Moving his mother into Brookfield had been the right choice for everyone, but her condition was never going to get better. Last time he had gone to visit, Diana hadnât even recognized him, and you spent the rest of the day holding him, letting him know it was alright. âYou have to go,â you echoed his earlier sentiment, nodding reassuringly.
He hesitated to leave you, sitting on the edge of your bed that had been previously occupied by your sister, âBut you- youâreâŚâ
You shook your head in dismissal, âSometimes everything happens all at once, but you have to go.â If Brookfield was telling him to get down there, then he needed to go.
The next several hours passed slowly, Emily gave you an update on the case â the readerâs digest version, avoiding any gnarly details in an attempt to protect you. Will brought you and JJ dinner, eating the meal with them and your nephews, you were grateful to not have to eat the hospital cafeteria food. Slowly, the day came to an end, you sent JJ home when visiting hours ended, letting her know that you didnât need to be protected while you were in a hospital.
You fell asleep not long after one of your nurses lowered the volume on your vital monitor, the dark peace of the hospital lulling you into a sense of safety. There hadnât been word from Spencer, and you worried about him and his mother.
A tapping sound dragged you from what was thankfully a dreamless sleep, you recognized the sound of the footsteps, those shoes made a similar sound on the hardwood floor of your apartment, âYouâre noisy when you wear your fancy shoes,â you mumbled drowsily, opening your tired eyes and tilting your head in the direction of the sound.
âHey,â Spencer whispered, âGo back to sleep,â he told you gently, slowly making his way around your hospital bed and to the fold-out chair next to your bed.
You hummed, following him with your eyes as they adjusted in the dark, âNo, you woke me up. Now you have to talk to me,â you told him, reaching over to switch on a lamp, cringing at the way the light burned your eyes.
Unprompted, he inspected your vital monitor before reaching out to adjust your nasal cannula, âWhereâs JJ?â He asked, cupping your cheek affectionately before taking his seat.
Reaching out for your cup of water, you smiled to yourself when Spencer moved it closer to you, âI made her go home. Our mom will be here in the morning, and sheâll need all the rest she can get.â There was also the fact that Michael had been freaked out by seeing you in a hospital, so he needed some extra love from his parents tonight. âWait,â you said, âHow did you get in here? Visiting hours are over.â
âI might have told a small lie about you needing security,â he admitted sheepishly, but beneath it, he was smug. You didnât fault him on it, you probably wanted him here just as much as he wanted to be here, if not more.
Smiling in the dim lamplight, you inclined your head toward him, âDid you misrepresent the bureau?â
He rolled his eyes, âIâd do it again if it meant I get to spend the night with you.â Helping you put your water cup back on your tray, Spencer took your hand in his, âHow are you doing?â
You were exhausted, not in the sense that you wanted to sleep, although that probably couldnât hurt, but in the sense that your entire body ached. There was a pinch in your side that wouldnât ease up, and you didnât feel comfortable with asking for more pain medication. Part of you was afraid that in the process of being shot, you developed a fear of drowning. You almost died today. Huge strides had been made in an attempt to repair your relationship with Spencer and with your sister. None of these thoughts escaped your lips, you just looked at him sympathetically, âHowâs your mom?â
All he gave you was a tight smile, squeezing your hand tightly, âSheâs ah⌠sheâs alright,â he told you, your chest tightening at the emotion in his voice. âTheyâre calling it an awakening,â he continued, sounding unsure of himself.
âTerminal lucidity,â you breathed, a term you had only read about briefly when Diana was first diagnosed. The two of you had made many cross-country calls, trading information while Spencer stayed with her in Las Vegas.
He nodded, âYeah⌠they donât know how long itâŚâ
How long she had left. How long she would remain lucid. âAre you okay?â
âNo,â he answered quickly, too quickly for your liking.
You wiggled your fingers in his hand, getting his attention, âI want you to go back tomorrow,â you ordered him. It wasnât something you were willing to budge on, insisting that he go back to Brookfield tomorrow to spend more time with his mother.
âShe asked about you,â he admitted, leaning back in the chair, keeping your hands intertwined, âShe wondered why we never got married. I told her it was never the right time. Do you know what she said to that?â
Watching intently as he shared the story with you, you shook your head, âWhat did she say?â
He chuckled lightly, âShe said that mightâve been the most ridiculous thing sheâs ever heard me say.â
You smiled as he recounted the story for you, mimicking the hand gestures that you were sure his mother had used. âObviously sheâs never seen your Dirty Harry impression,â you reminded him, trying not to giggle at the memory.
âThe right time will never come if we keep waiting around for it,â he told you, reciting the words of wisdom that his mother had imparted upon him.
Your breathing hitched in the dark of the night, âSpence?â
He nodded, âYeah, baby?â
âAre you going to ask me to marry you?â You asked him hesitantly, wondering if that was what he was getting at.
Spencer shook his head, âNot tonight, angel.â He looked around the hospital room, cards and balloons and flowers had made their way in through the afternoon and evening. Penelope had even brought your apple blossoms from your desk. His flower language seemed so inconsequential now. âGo to sleep,â he whispered, âIâm sorry for waking you.â
âWill you tell me a story?â You whispered, settling yourself back into the flat hospital pillows, resigning yourself to the end of the marriage conversation.
He hummed, dimming the lamplight, âWhich one?â There were a few stories that he had memorized specifically for you. When work or life or nightmares got to be too much, he would recall them for you.
âCan we do Portrait of a Lady again?â You raised your eyebrows, smiling impishly.
He rolled his eyes sardonically, âYour love for Henry James should be studied in a lab.â
You waved him off, âOkay, and? Itâs story time.â
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#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid hurt/comfort#dr spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid series#criminal minds hurt/comfort#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds angst#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#jennifer jareau#jareau!reader#written by margot#ffofa
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My favorite crimes Barbara Gordon has committed
Full disclosure, I am considering only New Earth Babs because the other versions are simply inferior. I will ignore the typical masked adventurer crimes she did as Batgirl, like assault, breaking and entering, trespassing, obstructing justice and vigilantism. I will also not really consider the very classic Oracle shenanigans like hacking, accessing some databases she probably shouldn't, stealing from rich criminals to fund her own (kinda criminal) operation, invading privacy and literally doing illegal spy work with Birds of Prey. Because those are boring and I want something that's not just another Tuesday. So, in no particular order:
Changing the light on traffic lights
Stupid and small but I love it. Very iconic and very Barbara-like.
+Extra Helena who has very logical and understandable qualms about Oracle's power and influence

[Birds of Prey (1999) #58]
Blackmailing Catwoman into returning stolen paintings
And threatening to send her money to charities. Catwoman begrudgingly obliged.
I am not too sure about what happened leading to that moment. That comic didn't have a particularly strong story. I think Selina stole them while Barbara was still Batgirl?
Either way, the ending is pretty memorable for me. Ultimate irony - threatening her into returning stolen goods by stealing funds from her.

[Birds of Prey: Catwoman/Oracle]
Making a deal with Gotham City's emergency services
and then using the tech she implemented to override the control of the vehicles when needed. Or, when she wants to. This one instance was because Steph just got shot in the head and didn't really want to end up in an ER where her mother worked, exposing her (third) secret identity. It worked out so yay?
[Batgirl (2009) #6]
Sort of kidnapping Wendy Harris
To be fair, she did it because Calculator, Oracle's arch nemesis and Wendy's father, was endangering her and she did it to protect her but a little more explanation couldn't hurt. But that wouldn't be Barbara without her genial tendency to keep everyone but herself in the dark. I guess she really did keep Wendy in the dark. In the basement.
[Batgirl (2009) #11]
Political corruption
We never get to learn what exactly she did. She just said that many leaders owe her their positions. it sure as hell doesn't sound legal. World-wide corruption? Why not. Entirely too much power for one person to hold. 10/10
Also, I bet you that those power grids aren't exactly controlled legally.
[Birds of Prey (1999) #103]
Blowing up a government facility and getting rid of some evidence
Well, Cass decided to break into a government facility and free a terrorist to prove a point that everyone can change. And in doing so she left them some photo, video and DNA evidence.
Oracle therefore later sent her back there to destroy it, blowing the building up in the process. Oh and she also presumably helped the guy get fake documents but that's not 100% confirmed (Cass said that it's from her friends as she gave them to him).
She really cares about her not-quite-daughter <3

[Batgirl (2000) #17]
Her father/uncle (the Gordon family was kind of a mess after Crisis) might be the commissioner of Gotham but she clearly doesn't respect the law in the slightest. They love eachother, of course, they just don't share the same views on the law.
I simply enjoy how unhinged her methods sometimes usually are and we need to recognise that. Also, while we are at it, get rid of Prime Earth Barbara's characterisation and bring back the competent and sarcastic control-freak.
#barbara gordon#batman#dc comic#dc comics#oracle dc#birds of prey#dc birds of prey#batgirl#helena bertinelli#huntress dc#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#catwoman#dc
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hi. why is nobody talking about the porn ban in north carolina? the PAVE act is a bill that was passed back in september 2023 (came into law january 1st 2024) that effectively bans users from viewing websites hosting adult content without age verification. (link to the bill)
"-the act legally requires commercial ventures to verify usersâ ages if a company âknowingly and intentionally publishes or distributes material harmful to minors on the internet from a website that contains a substantial portion of such material.â
In order to do so, North Carolina requires these sites to either use âa commercially available database that is regularly used by businesses or governmental entities for the purpose of age and identity verification,â or utilize âanother commercially reasonable method of age and identity verification.â Companies are not allowed to hold records on any personally identifying information used to confirm usersâ ages.
Additionally, North Carolina offers residents the right to a lawsuit if a site is found to record user identifying information, or if a minorâs parent or guardian finds that a website allowed their child to access a site purposefully hosting material âharmful to minors.â" obviously we don't want these websites having our IDs, but sites like e621 and pornhub just straight up aren't asking for them either- blocking their service to the state in it's entirety instead. even beyond the restriction of adult websites, obviously as the 'queerest place on the net' we can see how "material that is harmful to minors" is not just intentional vague wording, but a massive red flag. even if you dont care about the porn- which you should, this is a massive rights violation. how long until 'harmful material' is expanded to include transgender people? same-sex relationships? anything lgbtq? this is a serious fucking problem and it opens the door to hundreds of potentially worse bills that extrapolate on the same concept.
i have no idea what to do to fight it, but if someone smarter than me could add links to representatives or something, that would be awesome.
i'm also going to tag a few people to get this post out: @polyamorouspunk @safety-pin-punk @doggirlbreasts (i have no idea who else to tag, if any of you can think of someone who can help this post get out there, please tag them!)
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Your new partner is Grayson.
Heâs a weird guy.
Not necessarily a bad guy, but a weird one.
Heâs not cold, in fact heâs rather friendly. However, when you really consider it, he volunteered very little information on his personal life. Reasonable, you suppose. So long as he has your back in the field and gets his reports done, you donât need to be best friends.
Your new partner Grayson is a recent Gotham transplant. Youâd never personally been, but you werenât oblivious to how utterly mad the city was. You could hardly blame him for getting out.
Your new partner Grayson, tenses up whenever someone mentions the Batman, or any of the nutcases he fights. You donât pry.
You do your own research.
Your new partner Grayson watched his parents die. Heâd been taken in by Gothamâs favourite son, a man he seemed reluctant to speak of. Heâd had, and lost a brother, to the most deranged man Gotham, if not the world, had ever known.
You stop mentioning Gotham around him after that.
Your new partner Grayson is a weird guy, who seems constantly surprised whenever you demonstrate competency.
At first youâd suspected sexism. It wouldnât have been your first partner to have that failing.
After a few days though, you catch him being equally surprised when officer Jackson makes a connection on a string of breaking and entries, and realise that perhaps heâs just not used to the cops not being utterly reliant on a very scary angsty furry and a small child without pants.
Your new partner, Grayson, is a weird guy, who disappears sometimes. Middle of a chase heâll be gone, and you wonât see him again for sometimes as long as hours, before heâs back. More often than not, somehow through some insane luck, the perp will have been taken down by Bludhavenâs new vigilante, and tied to a lamppost for you to find. You both hated and envied his luck.
Your new partner Grayson was a weird guy⌠and he was a damn good cop.
He made connections like no one else. It was like he had some sort of sixth sense. Youâd asked him once, about how he seemed to know all he did. How he seemed to have access to a whole other database of clues you just couldnât see.
And heâd smiled that cheeky smile of his, and told you heâd been consulting an oracle.
Your new partner, Grayson, moves like nothing youâve ever seen.
Youâd initially attributed it to his past as an acrobat. The way he could simply parkour over and around anything in his way, run faster then he had any right to, chase down a perp like a bloodhound.
It was more than that though. Youâd say without hesitation that if you were in a firefight, heâs who youâd want at your side. You mustâve owed him your life three times over by now. Even in those situations though, when no one would have blamed him for the use of lethal force, he never had.
Youâd been pinned down by a smuggling ring. You, Grayson, and ten of them - all armed to the teeth.
Heâd been incredible. Superhuman, almost.
Someone had shot out the lights. Heâd told you one of the smugglers must have missed. Youâd never once believed him.
Ten smugglers. Youâd managed to knock out and cuff one, unwilling to risk taking a shot blind.
The other nine? Those had been your partner. He had them unconscious in a heap by the time your eyes had adjusted.
No bullet wounds. Heâd done it hand to hand.
You didnât know exactly what he was hiding, but you knew he was hiding something. You decided not to call him out on it. Not as long as you trusted that whatever he was using his ⌠inexplicable skills for was good.
And trust you did.
Grayson was a good man. Even knowing little about him
Which was why this betrayal hurt so badly.
âSay again?â
Youâd sat in relative silence in an unmarked police car for about half an hour on a stakeout, and Richard Grayson had just said the worst sentence youâd ever heard. Youâd never been so utterly horrified.
âPeeps popcorn.â He says, holding up the tupperware containing an atrocious biohazard, grinning from ear to ear.
âOne more time please?â you fight to keep up your faked anger, but fail in the face of that fucking smile.
Honestly, it should be some sort of crime to smile like that. Like everything would work out in the end, so long as you could keep him smiling at you.
âPeeps. Popcorn.â He says it a third time. Heâs trying and failing not to laugh at her, at the way her mouth twists and flails to maintain a frown.
He was tempted to tell her it was in vain. Heâd broken Batman, and heâd make her smile too.
Honestly, she had such a pretty smile. Not that heâd say that, she was his partner, and they needed to keep things professional.
âItâs my turn to provide stakeout snacks, and so,â he lifts the lid of the peeps popcorn balls.
âPeeps popcorn.â
She rolls her eyes, and looks out the window of the passenger side. But sheâs smiling. âIt is one of lifeâs great injustices,â she huffs âthat you can eat like that and maintain your⌠impressive physique.â
Dick feels his chest puff out a little. While he had been able to tell all along that she had a crush on him, but heâd never risk acting on it. Still, it felt nice to be complemented by her.
âSeriously, do you clock off and just do the ninja warrior course all night or something?â She muses, her head against the window, looking at him out of the side of her eye.
âNot exactly,â he replies, sitting back in his seat, bringing his foot up onto the cushion. âTry one.â he presses, poking her side with the container.
She takes one, rolling her eyes and nibbles at the neon cluster of popcorn.
âNo. no.â she gags, âoh that's nasty. Oh, it's so sweet. Why? Why Grayson. Why would you do this to me?â she asks, setting the sticky concoction on the divider between their seats.
Dick just laughs âI am determined to make you a peeps convert.â
âNever, regular marshmallows are fine.â
âPeeps are rainbow.â
âHow old are you?â
âThere is no age too old to enjoy whimsy, Detective.â he responds, biting into his own.
âBesides, are you implying that rainbow marshmallows are irregular? In this day and age? Tut tut.â
âWe are not making me out to be a homophobe over peeps!â she protests, still laughing, slightly taken aback at the audacity.
âIf you say so.â he says, stretching his arms over his head and into the backseat. Stakeouts were terrible. He was not built to sit still in a confined space for hours at a time. However, this one provided a useful opportunity he cannot afford to waste.
Not to torment her with his war of attrition for peeps supremacy - though that was fun.
He needed to be sure of something else.
âWell. You being wrong about peeps aside. I ⌠wanted to check back on a file from a few months ago. You uh⌠you didnât move the Holt murder file, did you?â
âHolt.â she clicks her tongue in thought âthe guy withâŚâ she gestures to her chest.
âThat's the guy.â
âNot knowingly. I havenât had cause to reopen it. No new leads. I tried to track down the kid⌠He didnât want a bar for me. Guess I canât blame him. I offered the help I could⌠but well⌠the last time someone helped him his dad got brutally murdered. Heâs staying in the tent city by the docks, best I can figure.â She seems to feel guilty as soon as she says it, but Dick doesnât blame her.
He had paid for that room. If he hadnât⌠who knows what might have happened?
âBut if someone moved it?â he prompts, not wanting to dwell on that gnawing guilt.
âWasnât me.â
Your new partner, Grayson, was a weird guy who ate strange and terrible foods.
He blames himself for what happened to poor Mr Holt. Because he was good to the core, and somehow that had led to something utterly twisted.
Heâs also standing on your balcony. On the 20th floor.
And it all makes sense now.
Your apartment isnât particularly nice. It was small, and frequently disorganised. Especially when you got overly invested in a case.
Youâd been texted many gifs of the conspiracy board meme by friends over the years.
Work life balance? Not something youâd ever seen much value in.
And now, your unfairly attractive new partner Grayson was in your apartment, in full vigilante getup.
You need to find a way to be normal about that in ten seconds or less, because heâs staring at you, and you're staring at him, and it's starting to get awkward.
âHello.â you eek out.
He greets you as Detective, followed by your first and last name.
Unusually formal, for him. Unless⌠unless he somehow thinks a few inches of fabric in the shape of a wingding is going to fool you.
Unless he thinks heâs got you hoodwinked.
âNightwing⌠to what do I owe the pleasure?â
He leans in the doorframe, his hands braced against its top, so he is leaning into your space without touching you, and giving you plenty of ability to step back if you so chose. You donât.
âI have reason to suspect thereâs a serial killer moving though Bludhaven. And that whoever they are, they have someone in your precinct on the payroll.â
You fold your arms, bristling.
âNot sure I appreciate the accusation.â Sure, the bludhaven police department was ridiculously corrupted. But youâd hope that your partner would have at least the trust in you not to think youâd help a serial killer.
âNo accusation.â he reassures âa request for help. I need someone I can trust inside the department. And my source says thatâs you, sherlock.â
His source? Was he kidding?
No. No he wasnât.
Oh this was madness.
This was hysterical.
He really, truly thinks that you canât know him outside of his streetwear. And heâs trying to pass it off like he doesnât know himself either.
Perhaps you should tell him you know.
But⌠Grayson and his peeps tomfoolery isnât the only one who can have fun.
âSo⌠youâre asking me to⌠what, exactly?â You prompt, unfolding your arms, willing to give him a chance.
Nightwing offers you a smile. Itâs slightly different from Richard Graysons.
Itâs just as sunny, and it makes you feel just as warm and fuzzy and giggly inside. You have to fight even harder to stop yourself blushing, given how much less this getup leaves to the imagination then his usual dress pants, shirt and tie.
But itâs a little more ⌠brazzen. Flirtatious. More⌠cocky. Sure, He was always at least a bit of a show off, but as nightwing? He was one of the most capable, incredible people alive, and he wasnât shy about it.
Oh, you were doomed. But that was a problem for later.
âIâm asking you to keep an eye on the âheartlessâ case. Holt⌠heâs not the only one and I think thereâs going to be more. And, to be blunt?â
He stands up straight, and puts an arm on your shoulder.
âItâs a big request. But you might be the only person in that station who I have real confidence in.â
You wonder what that says about his relationship with himself, but like so many things with Richard, you donât ask.
âI can do that.â
âAnd I understand that itâs dangeâ Iâm sorry, did you just agree?â he cuts himself off, staring at you.
You laugh then, just the once.
You owed him your life many times over as his partner. But as nightwing?
Since heâd come on the scene, youâd actually felt like something mattered. Like change could happen.
Like someone was willing to help the people of Bludhaven not to reap a profit, but because the system youâd once hoped to help restore was broken at its very core, and restoration wasnât the solution - reformation and fundamental change was. And you didnât know how to do that.
But then Nightwing had come onto the scene, and started kicking the asses of the worst of the worst, and you had felt like you had when youâd joined the force, bright eyed, bushy tailed, and determined to make a difference.
Before the incident. And every other day, when youâd felt that optimism slowly being crushed to death, into a fine powder and blown away in the wind.
âYeah.â you say, and agreeing to help is one of the best feelings in the world. You get to help. To make a real difference.
âBludhaven owes you a hell of a lot, Nightwing⌠seems like the least I can do is tell you if anything weird comes up.â
âRight. Thank you.â he clearly wasnât expecting this. Maybe heâd thought it would be a harder sell.
âIf I do⌠have anything for you, how should I alert you?â
He passes you a wingding. âPut this in your window. Iâll check in every few days.â
You raise an eyebrow âall your fancy tech and you donât have a phoneâ
He shrugs âphones are traceable. Plausibly just something you picked up on a case as a trinket that you âforgotâ to log in evidence left on a windowsill? Lot harder to trace.â
âFair.â you acknowledge.
âBesides.â he steps backwards onto your balcony once more âyour place is on one of my main patrol routes. Canât let anything happen to the best looking detective Bludâs got.â
You scoff, without any real offence. You know heâs only playing, and that he does, as Richard, respect your intellect more then your appearance - but you suppose as ânightwingâ he doesnât know you that well.
âI think you mean best detective full stop.â you respond, and he gives a small bow of playful deference.
âBut of course, sherlock.â
And then heâs gone.
That night, you donât sleep.
You felt so stupid. Heâs nightwing. Heâs been nightwing the whole time.
The skills. The disappearing. The way he seemed to just⌠know things.
The way he tensed whenever someone mentioned Gotham.
⌠the timing of Robin reportedly becoming a child again.
Had your new partner, Grayson, been Robin?
Had he been using the Batman's archives to solve cases? Was that his so called oracle?
⌠wait.
Was Bruce Wayne the FUCKING BATMAN?
You screamed into your pillow. You were laying awake, face down in your bed, because now you had realised far too many things in one night.
The first: Your new partner is Nightwing.
The second: Bruce Wayne might be Batman.
The third: you, enchanted by that fucking perfect smile, had agreed to help track down a serial killer stealing hearts.
The fourth: Your new partner, Richard Grayson, between his stupid snacks, the Alfred Pennyworth foundation heâs been working to get off the ground, and his work as Nightwing, will save Bludhaven, you know it to your core.
And the fifth. The worst, and scariest part of your night: You may very well have fallen in love with him.
Chapter two Chapter three
If you read this far, reblog?
Divider credit: @strangergraphics
Tag list:
@jasontoddproblems
@sunnie-angel
@stormz369
First time writing Dick! Feedback is welcome.
#dick grayson x reader#nightwing x reader#dc x reader#detective reader#a tentitive part one#idk what to call this series yet#or if itâll be more then three chapters#but here goes#reblog fics
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EFFâs lawsuit against DOGE will go forward

I'm on a 20+ city book tour for my new novel PICKS AND SHOVELS. Catch me in PITTSBURGH on May 15 at WHITE WHALE BOOKS, and in PDX on Jun 20 at BARNES AND NOBLE. More tour dates here.
In my 23 years at EFF, I've been privileged to get a front-row seat for some of the most important legal battles over tech and human rights in history. There've been tremendous victories and heartbreaking losses, but win or lose, I am forever reminded that I'm privileged to work with some of the smartest, most committed, savviest cyberlawyers in the world.
These days, it's more of a second-row seat â I work remotely, mostly on my own projects, and I rely on our Deeplinks blog as much as our internal message-boards to keep up with our cases. Yesterday, I happened on this fantastic explainer breaking down our most recent court victory, in our case against DOGE on behalf of federal workers whose privacy rights have been violated during DOGE's raid on the Office of Personnel Management's databases:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2025/04/our-privacy-act-lawsuit-against-doge-and-opm-why-judge-let-it-move-forward
The post is by Adam Schwartz, EFF's Privacy Litigation Director. I've been campaigning on privacy for my entire adult life, but I still learn something â something big and important â every time I talk about the subject with Adam. His breakdown on EFF's latest court victory is no exception.
EFF was the first firm to bring a suit directly against DOGE, representing two federal workers' unions: the AFGE and the AALJ, and our co-counsel are from Lex Lumina LLP, State Democracy Defenders Fund, and The Chandra Law Firm. At the heart of our case are the millions of personnel records that DOGE agents were given access to by OPM Acting Director Charles Ezell.
The OPM is like the US government's HR department. It holds files on every federal employee and retiree, filled with sensitive, private data about that worker's finances, health, and personal life. The OPM also holds background check data on federal workers, including the deep background checks that federal workers must undergo to attain security clearances. Many of us â including me â first became familiar with the OPM in 2015, after its records were breached by hackers believed to be working for the Chinese military:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Office_of_Personnel_Management_data_breach
That breach was catastrophic. Chinese spies stole the sensitive data of tens of millions of Americans. The DOGE breach implicates even more Americans' private data, though, and while DOGE isn't a foreign intelligence agency, that cuts both ways. It's a good bet that a Chinese spy agency will not leak the records it stole, but with DOGE, it's another matter entirely. I wouldn't be surprised to find the OPM data sitting on a darknet server in a month or a year.
In his breakdown, Adam explains the ruling and what was at stake. We brought the case on behalf of all those federal workers under the 1974 Privacy Act, which was passed in the wake of Watergate and the revelations about COINTELPRO, scandals that rocked the nation's faith in federal institutions. The Privacy Act was supposed to restore trust in government, and to guard against future Nixonian enemies lists:
https://tile.loc.gov/storage-services/service/ll/llmlp/LH_privacy_act-1974/LH_privacy_act-1974.pdf
The Privacy Act's preamble asserts that the US government's creation of databases on Americans â including federal workers â "greatly magnified the harm to individual privacy." This is the basis for the Act's tight regulation on how government agencies use and handle databases containing dossiers on the lives of everyday Americans.
The US government tried to get the case tossed out by challenging our clients' "standing" to sue. Only people who have been harmed by someone else has the right ("standing") to sue over it. Does having your data leaked to DOGE constitute a real injury? Two recent Supreme Court cases say it does: Spokeo vs Robins and Transunion vs Ramirez both establish that "intangible" injuries (like a privacy breach) can be the basis for standing.
The court agreed that our clients had standing because the harms we alleged â DOGE's privacy breaches â are "concrete harms analogous to intrusion upon seclusion" ("intrusion upon seclusion" is one of the canonical privacy violations, set out in the Restatement of Torts, the American Law Institute's comprehensive guide to common law).
But the court went further, noting that DOGE's operation is accused of being "rushed and insecure," rejecting DOGE's argument that it only accessed OPM's "system" but not the data stored in that system. The court also said that it wouldn't matter if DOGE access the system, but not the data â that merely gaining access to the data violated our clients' privacy. Here, the judge is part of an emerging consensus, joining with four other federal judges who've ruled that when DOGE gains access to a system containing private data, that alone constitutes a privacy violation, even if DOGE doesn't look at or process the records in the system.
So in ruling for our clients, the judge found that the mere fact that DOGE could access their records was an injury that gave us standing to proceed â and also found that there were other injuries that would separately give us standing, including the possibility that DOGE's breach could expose our clients to "hacking, identity theft, and other activities that are substantially harmful."
The US government repeatedly argued that we weren't accusing them of disclosing our clients' records, every time they did this, the judge pointed to our actual filings, which plainly assert that DOGE agents were "viewing, possessing and using" our clients' records, and that this constitutes "disclosure" under the law, and according to OPM's own procedures.
The judge found that we were entitled to seek relief under the Administrative Procedures Act (APA), which proscribes the conduct of federal agencies â and that our relief could be both "declaratory" (meaning a court could rule that DOGE was breaking the law) and "injunctive" (meaning the court could order DOGE to knock it off).
Normally, a plaintiff can't ask for a judgment under the APA until an agency has taken a "final" action. The court found that because DOGE's actions were accused of being "illegal, rushed, and dangerous," and that this meant that we could seek relief under the APA. Further, that we could invoke the APA here because the remedies set out in the Privacy Act itself wouldn't be sufficient to help our clients in the face of DOGE's mass data-plundering.
Finally, the court ruled that our claims will allow us to pursue APA cases because OPM and DOGE were behaving in an "arbitrary and capricious" manner, and exceeding its legal authority.
All of this is still preliminary â we're not at the point yet where we're actually arguing the case. But standing is a huge deal. Ironically, it's when governments violate our rights on a mass scale that standing is hardest to prove. Our Jewel case, over NSA spying, foundered because the US government argued that we couldn't prove our clients had been swept up by NSA surveillance because the details of that surveillance were officially still secret, even though Snowden had disclosed their working a decade earlier, and our client Mark Klein (RIP) had come forward with documents on illegal mass NSA spying in 2006!:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/06/effs-flagship-jewel-v-nsa-dragnet-spying-case-rejected-supreme-court
So this is a big deal. It means we're going to get to go to court and argue the actual merits of the case. Things are pretty terrible right now, but this is a bright light. It makes me proud to have spent most of my adult life working with EFF. If you want to get involved with EFF, check and see if there's an Electronic Frontier Alliance affinity group in your town:
https://efa.eff.org/allies
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2025/04/09/cases-and-controversy/#brocolli-haired-brownshirts
Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg
CC BY 3.0 https://creativecomms.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en
--
EFF (modified) https://www.eff.org/files/banner_library/opm-eye-3b.jpg
CC BY 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en
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Mercury in Houses & Signs - How does Mercury govern their languages, tones, thoughts?
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⼠Mercury in Houses
Mercury in the 1st House - Enhances intellect and self-awareness, often prone to overthinking
Mercury in the 2nd House - Skilled in negotiation, places importance on financial matters
Mercury in the 3rd House - Excellent communication skills, enjoys traveling
Mercury in the 4th House - Values family and home life
Mercury in the 5th House - Proficient in intellectual games, enjoys performing
Mercury in the 6th House - Emphasizes health and well-being
Mercury in the 7th House - Values and admires an intelligent partner
Mercury in the 8th House - Enjoys studying mysticism and has the ability to uncover secrets
Mercury in the 9th House - Likes to enrich oneself through reading
Mercury in the 10th House - Mostly engaged in intellectual and research-oriented work
Mercury in the 11th House - Has a larger circle of friends
Mercury in the 12th House - Prefers to keep their thoughts and ideas hidden
⼠Mercury in signs
Mercury in Aries - they tend to speak directly and lack patience and sometimes are stubborn with their words.
Mercury in Taurus - they are shrewd and conservative in their speech. They carefully choose their words. They are good at leaving themselves room to maneuver.
Mercury in Gemini - they are skilled at communication and may use a mix of truth and fiction in their speech.
Mercury in Cancer - they are are sensitive and empathetic communicators, they avoid using harsh words when they genuinely like someone. They prioritize maintaining emotional connections in their communication.
Mercury in Leo - They have a strong desire to be seen as right and may express themselves boldly and confidently, sometimes even exaggerating their points to prove themselves correct.
Mercury in Virgo - They are known for their precise and clear communication style. They express themselves with clarity and attention to detail, ensuring that what they say aligns with what they think. They value accuracy and practicality in their speech.
Mercury in Libra - They are skilled at sweet-talking and using tactful language. However, their ability to follow through on their words may vary, as they prioritize maintaining harmony and balance in their relationships.
Mercury in Scorpio - they are sarcastic and may disregard others' feelings. They have a sharp and sarcastic communication style. They may disregard the feelings of others unless they have a deep emotional connection. They are often straightforward and unafraid to speak their minds, even if it may come across as harsh.
Mercury in Sagittarius - they tend to speak impulsively and without much filter. They may say things without fully considering the consequences and often forget their words quickly.
Mercury in Capricorn - they take responsibility for their words and have a serious and practical approach to communication. They prefer to speak with purpose and avoid engaging in meaningless conversations. They value clarity and reliability in their speech.
Mercury in Aquarius - they hold strong opinions and are often resistant to changing their views. They can be persuasive communicators and have the ability to influence and even brainwash others. They are independent thinkers who value intellectual stimulation.
Mercury in Pisces - People with Mercury in Pisces speak based on imagination and intuition. They are easily influenced or misled, but they can also be manipulative and deceptive.
It is advisable to approach astrology as a tool for self-reflection and guidance rather than relying solely on it for making major life decisions.
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Currently thinking about those Letting Gen Z Write the Marketing Script videos and how hilarious it would be if Gen Z reader had Hotch do the marketing video with their script
#FBIvibes | [A.H]
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Gen-z fem!reader | WC: 1.6k | CW: Fluff
A/N: I have second hand embarrassment for Hotch.
It started, as most things did lately, with a meeting plotted into your calendar and a bizarre assignment from the Director himself, delivered in his office with all the gravitas of a man about to declare war.
Instead, it was worse.
âPublic perception,â he said, leaning back in his chair, hands clasped like he was about to drop a bomb, âis in the gutter. Weâre seen as cold, unapproachable, andâGod forbidâout of touch. I want that fixed. I want social media presence. I want viral. I want the FBI to trend, Agent.â
Your brain hiccupped at the word Agent, the title clunking awkwardly in your head because unless âAgentâ now meant unpaid marketing intern with a fake badge for building access, something had gone very wrong.
You blinked, your sunny disposition faltering for a split second. âTrend? Like⌠on the internet?â
âExactly,â he said, nodding as if youâd just cracked quantum physics. âYouâre young, youâre plugged in, you get it. Youâre on those apps, arenât you? TikTok, whatever else the kids are using?â
You nodded slowly, unsure whether to admit youâd spent hours scrolling through dog videos and unhinged cooking tutorials instead of reading your textbooks and studying. âUh, yeah, Iâm⌠familiar.â
âGood. Then youâre my point person. Create a series of videos to make us look approachable, human, relatable. Write the first script, get it approved, and then pick any department head to star in it. Someone with gravitas. Someone who screamed âFBIâ but still looked like they could charm the public.â
He was already halfway out the door before you processed that he was serious.
âAnalytics will be watching,â he tossed over his shoulder, leaving you staring at his empty chair.
Two days later, you submitted a script titled: â#FBIvibes: Busting Crime and Serving Looks (No, Weâre Not Like Law and Order).â It was a chaotic mix of quick cuts, dramatic zooms, voiceovers dripping with Gen Z slang, and a TikTok dance. It was almost like a scene straight out of The Office.
Youâd written in a fake crime scene chase, a coffee spill for comedic effect, and a final shot of the department head doing the dance while holding a badge, all set to a remixed version of âSavage Loveâ by Jason Derulo.
The Director emailed back in seven minutes flat.
âBold. I like it. Pick someone with a certain presence, someone who looked like they could arrest you with a stare. Letâs lean into the contrast between their demeanor and this⌠vibe.â
You sat back, scrolling through the FBIâs org chart like it was a menu at a hipster cafĂŠ. You eliminated the department heads whoâd ham it up too much or, worse, enjoy it. You needed someone whoâd radiate discomfort, someone whose mere presence screamed âIâd rather be chasing a serial killer than doing this.â The grumpier, the better.
Your eyes landed on Aaron Hotchner, Unit Chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. The manâs face in his database photo looked like it was carved from granite, his jaw set like he was personally offended by the camera.
Perfect.
You pointed at his name during your follow-up with the Director. âHim.â
The Director raised an eyebrow, glancing at the chart. âHotchner? The BAU chief? Heâs⌠not exactly known for his warmth.â
âExactly,â you said, your grin practically sparkling. âHeâs got that âI could ruin your life with a single emailâ energy. The internet will eat it up when heâs forced to do something as un-man-in-a-suit-like as a TikTok dance. Itâs comedy gold.â
The Director stroked his chin, then nodded. âHeâs authoritative, intimidating, but undeniably camera-friendly in a⌠severe way. Approved. Iâll send him the details.â
You didnât hear a peep for a full twenty-four hours. Then, an email landed in your inbox from Hotchâs assistant, as cold and formal as youâd expected.
Unit Chief Hotchner will meet you at 8:30 a.m. tomorrow in his office. Bring all necessary equipment. You will have exactly thirty minutes. Do not be late.
You showed up at 8:29, bursting with energy, armed with a tripod, a ring light, your phone, a thermos of coffee (because you werenât a monster), and an FBI-branded baseball cap youâd found in the gift shop that screamed: âIâm trying too hard.â Youâd also brought a backup plan: a tiny evidence bag prop filled with glitter to symbolize âcrime scene confetti.â
Hotch didnât look up from his desk when you walked in. His office reeked of coffee and regret, and his eyes flicked to your ring light like it was a personal affront to his entire career.
âYouâre early,â he said, voice low and clipped like he was already counting down the seconds until this was over. âYou have twenty-nine minutes.â
You flashed your brightest, most obnoxiously cheerful smile, setting down your gear with a flourish. âMorning, sunshine! Ready to make some viral magic?â
He finally looked up, his expression a masterclass in barely concealed disdain. âI read your⌠script.â The word dripped with the same tone one might use for âbiohazard.â
âAnd?â you asked, practically bouncing on your toes.
âItâs absurd. Itâs unprofessional. Itâs a mockery of everything this agency stands for.â He leaned back in his chair, folding his arms. âA dance? To⌠what was it, âSavage Loveâ? I lead a team that tracks serial offenders. I donât do choreography.â
You nodded, undeterred, your grin only widening. âThatâs the whole point, Agent Hotchner! The internet loves it when serious people do unserious things. Itâs called irony. Itâs giving âmain character energy.â Youâre gonna slay.â
He stared at you like youâd just suggested he wear flip-flops to a crime scene. âI donât âslay.â And Iâm not doing that dance.â
âOh, you will,â you said, setting up the tripod with the enthusiasm of a kid decorating a Christmas tree. âThe Director approved it, and he said I could pick anyone. Youâre my guy. Think of it as⌠community outreach.â
Hotchâs jaw tightened, and you could practically hear his internal monologue screaming for an exit strategy. âIf I refuse?â
You shrugged, all sunshine and rainbows. âThen I tell the Director youâre not a team player. But come on, Hotch, live a little! Itâs thirty seconds of your life. Youâve faced worse.â
âDonât call me that!â He exhaled through his nose, a sound so weary it could power a small wind turbine. âFine. But Iâm not wearing that cap.â
You held it up, waving it like a matador taunting a bull. âWeâll see.â
He stood, adjusted his tie with precision, and muttered, âLetâs make this quick.â
The shoot was a glorious disaster. You directed Hotch through the script with the energy of a caffeinated golden retriever, while he moved like he was being held at gunpoint. The first scene had him walking down a hallway, badge clipped to his belt, looking like he was about to interrogate a wall.
âMore swagger!â you called out, filming on your phone. âChannel your inner action hero!â
âI donât have an inner action hero,â he deadpanned, not breaking stride.
âPerfect, thatâs the vibe! Grumpy FBI dad energy, letâs go!â
The next shot was Hotch at the coffee machine, which youâd rigged to âmalfunctionâ by unplugging it. He pressed the button, but nothing happened, and he glared at it like it was a suspect in a lineup.
âCut! Now sigh, like, super dramatically,â you instructed, barely containing your giggles.
He sighed, but it was less âdramaticâ and more âIâm reevaluating my life choices.â Still, it was gold.
The crime scene chase was next, filmed in a deserted parking lot behind the main building of the headquarters. Youâd got Hotch jogging after an imaginary suspect, and you sprinkled glitter from the evidence bag for âaesthetic.â He stopped mid-stride, turning to you with a look that could curdle milk.
âGlitter?â he said, voice dangerously low.
âCrime scene confetti!â you chirped, tossing another handful. âItâs symbolic!â
He pinched the bridge of his nose. âThis is not what I signed up for.â
The final shot was the pièce de rĂŠsistance: Hotch standing in the middle of the BAU bullpen, badge in hand, attempting the âSavage Loveâ dance. Youâd simplified it to a few arm movements and a shoulder sway, but he looked like he was being forced to swallow glass.
âIâm not doing that,â he said, halfway through the first move.
âCome on, Hotch, itâs for the vibes!â you pleaded, clapping your hands. âThe internet will love you!â
He finished the dance, if you could even call it that, with the enthusiasm of a man walking to the gallows. When it was over, he pointed at the camera.
âThis was the last time.â
You beamed. âYouâre a natural, boss.â
He walked away without another word.
The video:
TikTok #1: FBIvibes đľ âSavage Loveâ remix blaring [Hotch strides down the hallway, face grumpy like a storm cloud.] Voiceover (your voice, dripping with enthusiasm): âThink the FBI is all suits and shootouts? Think again. Itâs paperwork, coffee fails, and vibes.â [Cut to Hotch glaring at the broken coffee machine.] Voiceover: âWhen your coffeeâs DOA, but you still gotta catch bad guys.â [Cut to Hotch jogging through the parking lot, glitter raining down.] Voiceover: âChasing suspects? More like chasing clout. #CrimeSceneConfettiâ [Cut to Hotch in the bullpen, doing the worldâs stiffest âSavage Loveâ dance, badge in hand.] Voiceover: âWhen your boss makes you go viral but youâre secretly a legend.â [Final shot: Hotch stares at the camera, deadpan: âThis is not my job.â] Caption: Day in the life of a very serious unit chief at the FBI. #FBIvibes #HotchSlays #NotLikeTheMovies #DirectorMadeUsDoThis
The video exploded online, hitting 2.7 million views in twenty-four hours.
The comments were a fever dream:
âGrumpy FBI guy doing the Savage Love dance is my new religion đđĽâ
âWhy is Agent Hotchner lowkey serving tho đ #FBIvibesâ
âThe glitter??? The FBI is unhinged and Iâm here for it đâ
Hotch avoided you for three days. On the fourth, you got an email.
From: Hotchner, Aaron
Subject: Your Video Project
The Director is pleased. I am not. Next time, I choose the terms. No glitter. No dancing.
You grinned at your screen, already brainstorming the next trend.
Challenge accepted, Hotch.

#aaron hotchner#criminal minds#aaron hotchner x reader#hotch#hotch thoughts#criminal minds x reader#hotch x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x female reader#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner fanfic#ssa aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotch hotchner#aaron hotchner one shot#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotch imagine#thomas gibson#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds one shot#criminal minds fanfic#hoe4hotchner answers#criminal minds fluff#hotch fluff#gen z!reader
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Technical Issues Cw: smut, sex work, OnlyFans, porn, fuck machine, squirting, prostitution handjob, tell me if I missed any.
Part3
It started with a reluctant alliance between SpecGru and KorTac, two powerful PMCs that were tricked by the same employer, played and played again, unable to work alone to take them down. So both heads of the PMCs decided to work together to take down this problematic employer, which meant that theyâd have to come and go between bases, sharing the same space and the same area. They were unenthusiastic about it, still holding a grudge against the other.
There was a technical issue in giving access to KoTac members sent over to the British base the right clearances for the compiled data, to-know intel and the statistics. Thatâs how KĂśnig found himself in the database, looking up the different clearance codes to give him access to the information he needed before 1900, he only had half an hour to find the code if he didnât want to miss the event.
Unfortunately, all he stumbled into was a page, a familiar name popping up on this personâs browser history. It was Soapâs. Sergeant John âSoapâ MacTavish, the snipe and demolition specialist that KĂśnig knew from both experience and intel. It was a strange find, Soap had used a public browser to watch his nightly activities and had forgotten to wipe it clean âdid he even wipe his history? Something ugly flared in KĂśnigâs chest, an explosive warmth of possession and envy. How couldâve he not seen him on the chat when KĂśnig spent so much time on it himself?
With dilated pupils and a one-track mind, he completed his search and rushed to his room, pushing past everyone he met in the hall with his broad shoulders and even bigger ego, nostrils flaring and seeing red. He knew this kind of reaction was nonsensical, near illogical on his par, seeing the type of content he consumed, but he couldnât help it, he was the second highest payer.
Slamming and locking the door behind him, he ripped his mask off, throwing it haphazardly on the floor and ripped his clothes off, his skin hot to the touch in his cold room. It was 1857 âperfect. Settling himself on his temporary desk in nothing but his briefs, he felt his cock struggle against the fabric, head poking out on the side of his boxers. He was quick to open up the right tab, clicking in the sweet temptation of the profile picture.
A screen popped out, a familiar bed in a familiar setting with familiar objects surrounding the plush sheets, and in the middle, sat the little cherub of his dreams. Seraphim, the little slut that he was happy to spend his legacy on, to watch and indulge in the sinful act jerking off to a woman he might never meet or know outside of this screen. He pushed his waistband down his thighs and his cock swung out, hanging low between his legs, veins pulsing with the rush of blood from his head to his cock and uncut head drooling on his chair.
đ gifted you 100$
âHello, sir,â you smiled so sweetly at him, glossy lips pulled into an innocent image, âThank you for the gift.â
He always gave you a gift at the start of each live he watched to get a greeting from you and would gift you much more with ever minute he spent watching you bend over your bed, ass up and face down, getting fucked by the fuck machine he gifted you. You had two cameras set up, one that let them view your tight cunt stretched around the silicone copy of his cock - thick and veiny - and one giving them a clear view of your tearful eyes and cock drunk expression.
KĂśnig kept his eyes glued to your cunt, ploughed so roughly bu his girth that slick gushed around it, lips swollen and wet, and the little plug your pushed into your flared rim, the flat handle spreading your ass for them to see. He jerked himself, calloused fingers gripping the head of his cock and spreading pre down his shaft, the foreskin spread around his girth. He shuddered, his cock throbbing in his hand, reacting to the image of your ravaged and gasping figure taking the dildo so well, mewling and wailing like the angelic whore you were.
He wanted you to come, he wanted to see you squirt around the toy, slick rolling down your thighs in waves of pleasure, your voice breaking as you mewl and wail. He moved thoughtlessly, hand moving to type out his command, sending you more money, it was an addiction at this rate, his need to sustain you and your living. If you let him, heâd be your sugar daddy, paying for everything youâd need and youâd have the real deal, his hot and heavy cock rather than a silicone.
âPlease let me come, sir!â Your begging had always been delicious and who was he to deny you of your pleasure when you brought him to his ground shaking climax.
He came with a loud groan, a deep rumbling in his chest, still pumping his cock as the head twisted, spraying his opaque cum over the table, white and viscous. His eyes rolled at the back of his mind, lids feeling heavy and body wracked with tremors, legs jerking as his hand slowed down, steadily riding out his mind-numbing release.
âThem too?â Horangi peered at the four Brits, an unamused gleam in his hidden eyes.
KĂśnig nodded, his hood twisting with every motion, fingers moving gracefully over his rifle, dismantling and cleaning it after their recon mission. A groan caught his attention, his eyes moving from the beauty of his weapon to the cold blues that stared back at him.
âIt does not matter,â Niktoâs voice had always been violent, a rough and jagged husk that exhumed power, âWe found her first.â
It was a statement to himself, a strong and unyielding one that stemmed from Niktoâs dark and broken person, but they agreed.
Part 5
Taglist: @warenai @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @tallmanlover @distracteddragoness @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @konigsblog @havoc973 @im-making-an-effort @cutiecusp @ladyof-themoon @yourdaydreamerfan @blackhoodlea @daisychainsinknots @under-the-dirt @moansteur @iamnotfinedaddy @0alk0msan @katzarantos @danielle143 @bubbletae7
#x reader#cod mw2#konig mw2#mw2 smut#konig x reader#cod mw2 x reader#Sex worker!reader#konig#konig cod#cod konig#konig smut#konig x you#kĂśnig smut#kĂśnig x reader#kĂśnig mw2#x fem!reader#female!reader#fem!reader#cod smut
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Human 101: Cooking
pairing: rk800 connor x reader
words: 2.1 k
warnings: language, self-deprecating humour, lack of proofreading, fic from reader's pov
summary: human 101 with (y/n) and Connor, a crash course on the basics of humanity, brought to you by sumo and a very sleep-deprived writer (comedy, fluff)
additional context: reader has a rampant crush on Connor, as established in Short Circuit, this could be treated as a sequel in spirit or just a standalone.
a/n: thanks for all the love for my previous fic, here's another one <3
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Unlike other deviants, Connor took his time to come to terms with his deviancy. Imagine you live your entire life (even if your whole life was barely a couple weeks) thinking your only purpose was to, say, hunt dogs. What would you do if you woke up one day to find you were the dog all along? This feels like a bad analogy. You get the point.
That kind of revelation would definitely come with its own baggage. I mean, I can't even begin to imagine what it must've been like. So even if Connor has finally made his peace with being a deviant, I have made it my life's mission to help him experience the highs and lows of being fully human. Call it Human 101.
Lesson one? Cooking. Sure "Love makes us human" Yeah okay but if you really think about it, it is cooking. Literally no other species cooks. Everyone fucks. Go figure.
"Cooking is fundamental," I told him, as we stood in my kitchen. "Itâs like⌠the ultimate human bonding experience. Families, friends, lovers-" I stopped myself there, flustered, oops, but he didnât seem to notice. "Itâs about creating something from scratch, with your hands. Plus, we get to eat it after. Win-win."
"I should inform you that I already have access to an extensive database of recipes and culinary techniques. If required, I can prepare any dish with precise measurements and optimal timing. There is a less than one percent chance of error."
"Oh, no no," I laughed. "We can't follow recipes, God, no. Cooking is about spontaneity. About chaos. Screwing up is where the fun is."
His head tilted slightly, LED blinking yellow as though he were processing my statement. "You believe the experience is improved by the possibility of failure?"
"Absolutely!" I said, grabbing a whisk from the counter. "It's not just about the taste, you know? You need to spill flour everywhere, accidentally burn the sauce, or switch salt with sugar. That's the human way. You mess up, you laugh about it, and sometimes you end up making something even better than you planned."
Connor stared at me for a long moment, as though trying to reconcile my argument with his programming. "This is⌠counterintuitive. But intriguing."
"Exactly!" I said, pointing the whisk at him like Iâd just solved world hunger. "Now, step one: forget the database. No looking up recipes. Weâre winging it."
He blinked at me. "Winging it?"
"Yes. Weâre going to use whateverâs in the fridge and figure it out as we go. Trust me, itâll be great."
He looked at me like there was a loading screen inside his head. "Statistically, this approach has a higher likelihood of failure. That is... good?"
"Exactly." I grinned, tossing him an apron. "Let's get cooking, Wall-E."
Connor caught the apron mid-air, holding it up like it was a wet sock. "Is this truly necessary for the process?"
"Oh yeah, big time," I said, tying my own around my waist. "Itâs part of the uniform. Cooking without an apron is like... running a mission without a plan."
That got a faint quirk of his lips. "I wasnât aware cooking was so strategic."
"Itâs not," I said, pulling open the fridge and gesturing dramatically. "Itâs pure chaos. Okay, what do we have?"
Connor peered inside with the precision of someone scanning a battlefield. It may as well have been, honestly. "Tomatoes, cheese, leftover chicken, and... two peppers approximately three days past their optimal freshness." No, I am not embarrassed about how I ration. Okay fine, a little bit.
"Perfect. Weâre making pizza."
He straightened slightly, tilting his head at me. "A pizza is typically constructed using dough as a base. There is no dough present."
"There will be if we make it from scratch. Flour, water, some yeast if I remembered to buy it... probably. Easy."
As I started rummaging through the pantry, Connor stayed rooted in place, watching me like he was making notes like I'd be quizzing him on pantry rummaging etiquette later. When I turned around, a bag of flour in hand, I caught him staring.
"What?"
"I was considering how often you engage in these⌠unpredictable approaches. Itâs unconventional. Yet, it appears to bring you joy."
I paused, caught off-guard by how earnestly heâd said it. "Yeah, I guess it does. Lifeâs too short to stress about being perfect all the time, you know?"
Connor seemed to mull that over, but instead of replying, he reached for the bag of flour. "Allow me. The chances of you spilling that are statistically high."
"Oh, wow, thanks for the vote of confidence," I said, rolling my eyes.
He smiled then- an actual, honest-to-goodness smile that made my stomach do a weird little flip.
We started working on the dough together. Well, I started working on the dough, he was fighting demons. It was hilarious. It was like the dough owed him money.
"Dude, dude, relax. The dough isn't your enemy. You're not interrogating the dough. You need to be gentle with it. We like the dough. The dough is our friend."
"The same way Hank is our friend?"
"Hank is dough, yes."
"Well, Hank is not responding well to my kneading."
Wait. A joke? Was that a joke? Holy shit.
I blinked at him, eyebrows shooting up. âDid you justâŚ?â
His lips twitched, though it was still subtle. âIâm capable of humor when required.â I nudged him lightly with my elbow, the warmth of the moment sinking in. He gave the dough another half-hearted punch, then added, âI don't understand why Dough Hank isn't cooperating.â
âWell, firstly, stop punching it like it owes you money. You have to be gentle. Dough requires finesse.â
He tilted his head, his LED spinning in thought. âFinesse,â he repeated, his hands hesitating awkwardly above the dough.
His struggling with the dough was honestly the most adorable thing I have ever seen. He was trying, he really was, but his confusion from the dough not reciprocating for all his efforts and him not being able to wrap his head around it made for a hilarious staring contest between Dough Hank and Connor. He held it up and stared at it closely, possibly with malicious intent.
Earth to (Y/n), I stepped closer until I was pressed lightly against his side. âHere, let me show you.â Sliding my hands over his, I guided his movements, pressing gently into the dough, folding and rolling it in a smooth rhythm. âSee? Youâre not fighting it. Youâre working with it.â
Connor followed my lead, his hands relaxing under mine. His head dipped slightly, and when I glanced up, I realized he was watching me instead of the dough. I was hyperaware of the fact that I was so close to him and was very sure he could figure out just how nervous I was feeling.
âSo, we negotiate with the dough,â he murmured, his voice quieter, almost teasing now.
âExactly,â I said, laughing softly. âNegotiation is key. Be nice, and itâll be nice back.â
I watched him start over with dough Hank, this time, more gently. Like he was getting the hang of it. "I think Iâm starting to understand," he murmured.
I raised an eyebrow. âUnderstand what?â
"What being human is about," he said quietly, his voice almost contemplative. âItâs about embracing it. The mess, the failure, the laughter. The joy of not being perfect. I quite like the idea of not having to be perfect all the time."
In all honesty, I was not sure how to respond to that. He looked like a huge burden had been lifted off his shoulders like someone had just told him it was okay to breathe for the first time. And, for a moment, I almost didnât want to ruin it.
His LED flickered a soft yellow, his eyes- those damn calm eyes- finally looking a little less... distant. It felt like I was staring at the kind of person youâd want to confide in, the kind whoâd get it.
I bit my lip, trying not to smile. âYou okay there, Connor?â
He glanced up, that soft smile still hanging on his lips. âI believe so,â he said, voice uncharacteristically light. âI think Iâm finally making progress. With understanding humanity. And dough Hank.â
I snorted, quickly covering my mouth to hide the laugh. "Well, dough Hank was a tough nut to crack, but you did it, so good job."
He smiled, like he was proud of himself, and looked so damn cute. I shook myself out of my thoughts and grabbed the rolling pin, ready to get back to work. "Alright, now that weâve figured out how to negotiate with dough, letâs make this pizza. Weâre going all in."
Connor, still looking oddly content, glanced at the ingredients on the counter. "I assume weâll be using the tomatoes, cheese, and chicken? Iâve been considering possible toppings. The peppers are not ideal."
"Connor, I have no regard for my safety and you don't have a digestive system. I think we'll be fine."
"Suit yourself, (Y/n)." Again. That damn lilt in his voice when he says my name. It's like he knows what it's doing to me. Asshole.
After about 20 minutes, Dough Hank had fully become Pizza Hank and it was finally time.
"Alright, Baymax. Moment of Truth."
"I must ask. What is with the various robot nicknames? Are they terms of endearment?"
"Sure, let's go with that."
"Noted. In that case, it only seems appropriate to assign you one in return... Sugar?"
"Oh wow, no. God, just, no."
"Sport?"
"Nope."
"Champ?"
"Worse!"
"I'm bad at this, aren't I?"
"Baby steps, C3PO."
I liked this. Banter, his company, this... the whole thing. Whatever it can be called. Watching him discover things I have known my entire life is such an enthralling experience. It's like that one revelation you have when you're like 7 or 8 when you realize that you are alive TM. Except this time, you're watching someone else have it. I don't know if any of this makes sense, but what I do know is that I don't want this to end any time soon.
"Wow, this is disgusting."
Pizza Hank was a pile of dog shit. It was like a troll and an ogre had a baby on my tongue. No self-respecting person would put that in their mouth a second time. My mouth hates me for this.
"I thought failure was welcome. Is it not?"
"Yeah, but this is straight-up nuclear, my guy. I wouldn't eat this if someone paid me money."
"Well, while I cannot taste food the way humans do, I am able to simulate the experience of tasting by analyzing the composition of the food. I could describe it to you if you would like."
"Really? What do you think?" he picked up a slice and confidently took a bite out of it.
"Yeah, this is awful."
I put my hands up in resignation. Cooking was a disaster. I am useless and do not deserve nice things. Pain is eternal and hell beckons.
"I'm sorry for wasting your time, this is all my fault."
"Failure, as you pointed out, is part of the process. And it wasnât a waste of time."
I groaned, dropping onto a stool and burying my face in my hands. "Itâs not even edible. We canât exactly bond over a pile of inedible sludge."
âI donât think the goal here was actually to cook something edible, was it? From what I understand, it was about experiencing the act of cooking- and bonding with each other. By that measure, I believe we have succeeded.â
I was caught off guard. He thought we "successfully bonded". Please excuse me while I pass away.
"You really think so?"
He nodded while smiling at me reassuringly while putting the mangled remains of pizza Hank back on the plate. "Besides, per my observation, your shift in mood could be a result of hunger."
"Yeah, I haven't eaten anything all day, have I?"
"Not to my knowledge."
"You wanna get good pizza and go to Real Hank's place?"
"I would love to. I have been meaning to see Sumo."
cut-scene from the car ride <3
"I just assumed the pizza would be edible. You know? I can call it optimism all I want but that's just a lack of planning."
"Is lack of planning an inherent human trait?"
"Oh, Yeah. Top of the list, actually."
a/n: now I liked Short Circuit more but here's part 2 <3 also yes I took the cooking makes us human bit from another popular tumblr post, i just thought it was hilarious
#detroit become human#connor x reader#dbh connor x reader#rk800 x reader#dbh connor#connor rk800#connor rk800 x reader#rk800 connor x reader#maya writes#dbh#dbh x reader#connor x reader fluff#dbh rk800#dbh fluff
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iâm curious what your opinion is on the finer points of the case mentioned in the JSTOR post you reblogged earlier. the two sources in the post say that JSTOR didnât press charges against him and had already settled with him by the time he killed himself. from what i read on wikipedia, the concern seems to be that JSTOR complied with a subpoena, which i donât believe they have a choice to ignore? if anything it seems like the us government had reason to want him dead for wikileaks and public court records reasons, so they took a terms of use violation and blew it up into a dozen federal crimes.
is there more context i should be aware of? i have no particular affection or malice for JSTOR but the sources i found donât exactly implicate the database or its employees in murder.
That's from page 175 of this document. This line: "The activity noted is outright theft and may merit a call with university counsel, and even the local police, to ensure not only that the activity has stopped but that - e.g. the visiting scholar who left - isn't leaving with a hard drive containing our database" is where I think the culpability starts.
If someone is downloading 1000s of articles (what seems like reasonable threshold for us to take action), what's wrong with us - or the university in collaboration with us - alerting the cyber-crimes division of law enforcement and initiating an investigation, having cop search dorm room and try to retrieve any hard drive that contains our content, etc. Our content is extraordinarily valuable and hard to replicate by the sweat of one's brow, but can be duplicated by savvy hackers and who knows what they want to do with the content?
Page 379: "Does the university contact law enforcement? Would they be willing to do so in this instance?
From page 1296:
I think the important thing to note here is that JSTOR had worked with MIT and had plans in place to prevent future similar downloads, but remained focused on identifying the person responsible for the downloads and ensuring that their data was deleted.
"I might just be irked because I am up dealing with this person on a Sunday night, but I am starting to feel like they need to get a hold of this situation right away or we need to offer to send them some help (read FBI).
And there it is. Page 3093 of the document.
JSTOR can hem and haw about it all they want, but you can't un-call the cops.
MIT was working with JSTOR on preventing future incidents of pirating, but JSTOR repeatedly said that they weren't going to let it go, that it was unacceptable to drop the issue, that they were going to continue to pursue the pirate.
You can scroll through the document and see the JSTOR tech department and abuse team talking about Swartz as a script kiddie, and a hacker. You can see someone talking about how this was real theft - making the comparison to stealing books even while admitting that piracy doesn't close others out of access.
You can see the thread starts with a joke about punching someone in the face for hacking their system, and includes the tech team ominously considering whether they should threaten the MIT librarians with the FBI.
There's something really important to note here which I don't think that people who aren't PRETTY DEEP into hackery shit aren't aware of: US law enforcement is absolutely rabidly feral about prosecuting hackers. People may be more aware of this now because of Chelsea Manning and Edward Snowden (and perhaps a bit on tumblr because of maia arson crimew), but people who work in tech and who are in infosec - like the people joking about calling the FBI in these emails - would be aware of the bonkers disproportionate punishments faced by hackers. And knowing that, they kept pushing and pushing and pushing for identification of the hacker. They kept digging with MIT, they kept saying that simply preventing future incidents wasn't enough.
Early in the exchange someone from JSTOR asked "what's wrong with us - or the university in collaboration with us - alerting the cyber-crimes division of law enforcement and initiating an investigation, having cop search dorm room and try to retrieve any hard drive that contains our content, etc." and the answer is what happened to Aaron Swartz.
It is absolute bullshit for JSTOR to say "we arrived at a solution privately and didn't want to press charges" after law enforcement has gotten involved with a hacking case, especially one where they're talking about "real theft" and are attempting to quantify and emphasize the amount that was "stolen" from them.
The *public* may believe that private individuals or institutions are the ones who "press charges" but that's simply not the case. It's prosecutors who decide whether or not to go ahead with charges; they do it based on what cases they think they can win and what their office's perspective is on the crime. When you hear about people choosing to press charges it simply means that they decided to tell the prosecutor they wanted the case to go forward. It's up to the prosecutor whether or not that happens.
And the tech team at JSTOR had to know that law enforcement wasn't just going to wag a finger at an academic hacker.
There's a parallel here that happens sometimes when people have their identities stolen by their parents. If you mom takes out a credit card in your name, that's identity theft. That's fraud. That's illegal. If you reach the age of 25 and realize that your credit is ruined because your mom has been defaulting on cards in your name, you've got two choices to fix that: one is to accept the debt and pay it off and build up credit, and the other is to report the identity theft - which will end up with your mom in prison for a decade or so. Ruin your own personal finances, or your mom goes to jail for ruining your finances. So if you find out that your mom stole your identity you can't just call the cops to pressure her into transferring the debt to her name or something. That's not an option. The cops are not a threat to wave over people, they are not a way to get people to fall in line or act right. They aren't someone you can send to a college student's dorm room to retrieve a hard drive and have the matter drop.
When you call the cops on someone you are sending the full force of the law after them, and the full force of the law falls really heavily on hackers, and how heavy that blow can be is something that the JSTOR team must have been aware of when they were making snide comments about calling the FBI because they were frustrated with the noncommittal responses they were getting from librarians.
Ultimately it was the carceral state that killed Aaron Swartz, but they would not have been involved if JSTOR didn't think that what he did constituted theft.
Taking an *EVEN LARGER* step back from that, the idea that information can be owned and locked behind a paywall is what killed Aaron Swartz, someone who fought for information to be free.
Like. JSTOR is a licensing company. At the end of the day, cute social media posts and all, they're the same as the RIAA and ASCAB. They exist to extract a fee from people attempting to access information.
Aaron Swartz and all that he stood for are an existential threat to their core function.
Are JSTOR's hands as dirty as the federal prosecutors? Absolutely not. But they operate on a model that puts them in opposition to open information activists and it ended up with a hammer falling on Aaron Swartz that they dropped.
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You know, if Dick ends up in BvS verse...
Imagine, instead of the 'Martha!' scene, we get...
Nightwing, trying to hold off Bruce and get him to listen to reason, but Bruce is fighting all out under the impression Nightwing is Kryptonian or Kryptonian adjacent (maybe Bruce did get access to the database and found out about it being a Kryptonian legend name or Lex let it slip to him)...
Dick, broken and bleeding on the floor, whispering "B, please..."
The same last words that were recorded in Robin's domino mask audio, pleading for a rescue that was too late...
Ohhhhhhhhh oh my god did you just fix that scene in BVS? Of course that would make Bruce stop. Bruce finally putting it together. Bruce finally hearing Robin again, whose death is why this is even happening. Combined with the âRobin died during Black Zeroâ headcanon, weâve fixed basically 99% of Bruceâs motivation in this movie.
#and by fixed I mean#made obvious and clear#because I think it makes sense in BVS but#itâs not obvious always#batman#bruce wayne#dc#asks#anon#nightwing#dick grayson#Robin#bvs#batman v superman
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STARSCREAM X fighterpilot!READER
Disclaimer: I have very limited, google only, knowledge of how the airforce works so ignore any mistakes. Ignore any spelling mistakes it was late when I finished this.
~~~~~~~~~
It was a dim, gloomy day as you were up early, walking down past the hangers to talk to your mechanics. It was only after you passed hanger 013 that you paused.
The sliding doors were open, slightly parted at the centre, and a shiny nose-cone could be seen. You slowly walked towards the hanger and entered, flicking on the lights and gasping as a gleaming, tri coloured jet stood before you. It was beautiful, in a strange way, but most definitely out of place. You had never heard of one of the keys being painted red, white and blue so what on earth was it doing here?
It was humiliating. Megatron, the imbecile, had sent Starscream of all mechs to pose as human military jet in order to gain access to their databases which might hold knowledge of the whereabouts of the Autobot.
This was a job for one of Soundwaveâs strange lackeys not the Second in command and the Air commander of the entire Decepticon force.
Starscream was seething, as he laid in wait among the feeble human jets. How did Megatron truely expect him to complete this task? What was he supposed to do, rip up the whole base?
Regardless, he waited and watched through the open doors. He would leave again soon, he just had to remain long enough so that it at least looked like he tried.
He was very close to firing up his thrusters when the human in front of him gasped. He would never admit that the human had caught him unawares or that he briefly panicked as they came closer to him. They placed and brief touch to the bottom of his nose-cone before running back out of the hanger. This was going to be a problem.
You walked over to where your mechanics were waiting with your heart thundering in your chest. There was something about that jet that just was not normal. You were sure of it.
You spoke about the strange jet to one of your technicians who all seemed equally as confused at its sudden appearance. Resolute, you marched back to your superiorâs office, determined to explain your findings.
To your surprise, and part horror, your superior looked at you like you had gone mad. Still, he followed after you as you nearly marched down to the jet. It was still there, looking just as incredible as it had before and it still gave you that strange chill it had earlier. Beside you, your superior paled before telling you it was nothing to worry about. He walked briskly back to base, phone in hand. Confused, you walked back to your mechanical whilst giving brief glances to the jet over your shoulder.
The rest of the day trickled by, followed by next and then the one after that. The jet had not moved, nor did anyone (and you had gone around base interrogating people) know anything about it. It was not on the records. It really seemed like it didnât exist.
That only made it more interesting. You had been taking your lunch breaks in hanger 013, sitting near the jet just staring at it. Questions flooded your head but there seemed to be no answer to them. It infuriated you. Sooner or later you would have to accept that nobody knew anything about this new and crazily colourful jet.
You spent your night in the barracks hardly sleeping so it was no surprise when you awoke to the sound of roaring jet engines. Any other day, you would have rolled over and tried to sleep. But not today because you knew that there were no scheduled flights this late at night and the only reason a jet would be taking off was if there was an emergency. If so, it was best you get up.
Walking outside into the cold night. You froze in partial shock and horror as you saw the tri-coloured jet heading down the taxiway. Somehow, your legs unfroze and you began to sprint down towards the jet. A thousand thoughts raced through your mind. Who was piloting it? Where were they going? What were they doing?
The jet turned to cross onto the runway and then⌠stopped. It was dark and there was no way for you to be able to tell who was in the cockpit, if there was anyone at all. Suddenly, with a robotic whirr, the jet shifted and began to fold in on itself?
You screamed and moved back as a giant, taloned hand reached out and grabbed you pulled you off the ground. Frozen in shock you barely noticed when the thing looked at you with glowing red eyes before it shifted around itself and suddenly you were snuggly inside its cockpit. Your mind was racing and your head was pounding as it tried to come to terms with what had just happened. The jet (which was also possibly a giant robot) took off at a near vertical angle. The sudden increase in g-force was too much and you blacked out.
Starscream growled at the feeling of a human inside of him. You had better be worth all the trouble.
#maccadam#transformers#transformers x human#transformers x reader#autobots#decepticons#starscream#starscream x reader
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KİBLEBULMA - DEVASA+ (3)
Qibla direction holds a significant place in the Islamic faith, symbolizing the direction towards the Kaaba in the Sacred Mosque in Mecca, which is a focal point for Muslims around the world. The term "qibla" itself translates to 'direction' in Arabic, signifying the spiritual orientation that Muslims adopt during their prayers. To assist individuals in determining the qibla direction, various tools and methods have been developed, ranging from traditional compasses to modern technological solutions. One such method involves aligning a real compass with the direction of North to establish the correct qibla direction. Additionally, advancements in technology have led to the creation of Qibla finder apps and online platforms that offer accurate qibla direction information with just a few clicks.
The availability of tools like Qibla finder apps and online platforms has made it easier for Muslims to find the qibla direction with precision and convenience. These applications utilize GPS technology to determine the user's current location and provide the corresponding qibla direction, allowing individuals to perform their prayers with accuracy regardless of where they are in the world. Moreover, online Qibla Finders offer comprehensive databases that include the qibla angles of important cities and centers worldwide, enabling users to access this vital information swiftly and efficiently. By embracing these technological advancements, Muslims can fulfill their religious obligations with confidence and peace of mind, knowing they are facing the sacred Kaaba during their prayers.
Identifying the correct qibla direction is of utmost importance for Muslims when performing their daily prayers. The qibla finder as a focal point that unites Muslims globally in worship, emphasizing the unity and solidarity within the Islamic community. Ensuring that one faces the qibla during prayer is not only a physical alignment but also a symbolic connection to the center of the Islamic faith, fostering a sense of spiritual connection and devotion. By correctly identifying the qibla direction, individuals uphold a fundamental aspect of their faith and demonstrate reverence and obedience to Allah, enhancing the spiritual significance and efficacy of their prayers.
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okay so MCU canon Peter in DC is all funny and games but what about comic canon Peter? Peter whoâs in his 30s, whose life is falling apart(again) and has clones to deal with(man I hate the fact that Ben became evil :(.)
extra points if Miles and/or Mayday is with him. This single dad is STRUGGLING. And the bats wanna help him/his kids cause man! Look at them :(
(extra extra points if Dick = Richard Parker. Thatâs a whole nother can of worms. Like the bats are thinking Peter = Family of Dick they didnât know but NO! Itâs actually Dickâs son! Dicks a granddad!)
I want to PSA to anyone sending asks/requests, I'm not ignoring you!! I'm just a slow writer!!! I hope you enjoy though <33
Peter B. Parker could, 100%, picture landing in (yet another) alternate universe. You know what? As a matter of fact, he expected it.
What he didnât plan for, however, was being stranded in another universe with his baby girl strapped to his chest.Â
But here he was, crouched in a narrow alley in the darkest corner of Gotham City, New Jersey. From the name alone, Peter knew he landed himself in a section of the Multiverse Miguel had expressly labeled as off limits. It wasnât his fault heâd landed here, though!
One minute heâd been web-swinging through New York, enjoying a rare peaceful day with Mayday babbling happily, and the next he was crash-landing onto a grimy rooftop in the most dangerous city heâd ever seen. It was like New York turned up to eleven, all shadows and towering gargoyles, dripping with rain that seemed perpetual. The interdimensional bracelet heâd been given to travel the multiverse was sparking and smoking in his pocketâ total toast. He was officially stranded.Â
Ok, so it maybe, kinda sorta, been an eensy weensy, tiny bit Peterâs fault.Â
Peterâs, very high-tech and likely expensive bracelet had been, uh, scratched in a fight the day before. Barely even a nick! He swears he couldâve reattached the wires and fixed the screen.Â
He probably shouldâve also taken the watch out of his robe pocket before he started swinging Mayday to daycare.Â
MJ was going to be so mad.Â
It became evident early on itâd take a little bit to find a way home, or for someone to find him. If it had just been Peter, he couldâve roughed it on some rooves and abandoned buildings. It wouldnât be a big deal, he knew he would be getting home eventually. Being a little smelly was the least of his worries.Â
But he had his baby girl with him.Â
So, with the money in his wallet, he found an under-the-counter, rundown but otherwise warm, apartment in a place called Crime Alley. (What a seriously terrible name) Peter started pulling together whatever side gigs he could, fixing appliances, tuning up electronics, just enough to get by. Even for a guy who was used to scraping by, the situation felt bleak, especially with Mayday depending on him.Â
His little red-headed whirlwind was still too young to understand what was happening, but she noticed the tension and started clinging to him more tightly. Peter knew he couldnât keep this up forever, but he wasnât sure how to trust anyone in a city that had both criminals and vigilantes lurking around every corner. When he spotted someone in a cape swinging overhead, he instinctively hid in the shadows, holding Mayday close, her tiny face tucked into his shoulder.
But the Bats noticed him.Â
It was hard not to notice a single dad with no records, no job, and no explanation for why he was squatting in Gothamâs most dangerous neighborhood. Bruce, ever vigilant, put out word to the family to keep an eye on him.Â
Jason, who patrolled Crime Alley, wasnât thrilled about the idea. âA guy moved into my turf with a baby?â he grumbled to Tim. âEither heâs got a death wish, or heâs crazy.âÂ
Tim, on the other hand, was fascinated by the mystery. He dug through every database he had access to, and then some. But âPeter Parkerâ returned zero resultsâ at least, none that matched this Peter Parker. no criminal record, no birth record, no online footprint. It was like he just spawned in!Â
Dick didnât have a whole lot of opinions. He thought the man was nice, though he had only met him once in a routine mugging. He evidently cared for his daughter, and matched Nightwingâs wit and humor pretty nicely, too. He looked annoyingly familiar too. Maybe it was Tired Dad Chic? He kind of reminded him of Bruce, in a way.Â
Steph seconded the funny part. This Peter guy could be one of those dark-humor comedians.Â
From what they observed, and conversations supplied by Jason (who was his neighbor in a series of fortunate events), Peter really did seem to just be an ordinary guy. Â
Then one night, Peter was picking up groceries from a corner store when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to find a man in a ski mask brandishing a knife, gesturing for his wallet.Â
âHand over the money, and I wonâ hurt yaâ kid.â The man threatened, waving his knife around threateningly. Peter tensed, dropping his groceries in favor of cradling Mayday closer.Â
Peter blinked at him tiredly. âThe best I can offer is some lint and a can of beans.âÂ
The man tensed, stepping closer in an attempt at intimidation. Peter thought that his face turning red with anger was kind of funny.
âDonât fuckinââ are you makinâ fun of me?â The man fumed. Peter might have let out a sleep-deprived chuckle, partially forgetting to respond.Â
The mugger lunged, and before he could dodge, Peter felt a searing pain in his side as the blade plunged in, his vision blurring with the shock. Normally, Peter wouldâve disarmed the guy without breaking a sweat, but tonight, with Mayday in his arms and his body worn from days of restless sleep, he kind of just⌠blinked and the knife was there.Â
Peter blinked again, then looked back up at the man.
âOh, wow,â he said, his voice dripping with deadpan sarcasm. âA knife in Crime Alley? Super original. Really, Iâm honored to be a part of your creative process.â
The mugger blinked, clearly caught off guard. Peter rolled his eyes, adjusting Mayday to better apply pressure to his side. âNext time you stab a guy, maybe aim for someone with insurance.â
The mugger stumbled back, looking increasingly confused by Peterâs lack of fear. Peter sighed, bouncing Mayday gently as she began to fuss. âListen, Iâm already running on no sleep and the caffeine fumes of yesterdayâs coffee. And now youâre just making my night even worse.â
Peter winced, feeling the slow but consistent leak of blood. His healing factor was helping, but it was dulled due to lack of sleep and hunger.Â
Between one long blink and the next, someone had jumped down and knocked out Peterâs would-be mugger.Â
After another blink Peter realized he was on the ground, Maydayâs wails filled the air, her cries echoing down the alleyway, and Peter tried to smile through the pain. âItâs okay, baby,â he mumbled, clutching her tightly. âDaddyâs fine⌠just a little⌠scratch.â But his vision was going hazy as he pressed a hand to his bleeding side. The world began to spin.
One of the vigilantes that Peter recognized as Red Robin rushed over, talking hurriedly into a comm. Peter blinked up at him, his mouth curling into a weak smile. âHey, nice costume,â he muttered. âDoes the utility belt come in dad sizes?âÂ
Red Robin blinked in surprise, but otherwise keept his focus as he worked to stop the bleeding.
âIt doesnât, unfortunately.â Red Robin offered, popping open his emergency med kit. âIâve got help on the way, ok? Stay awake for me.â But his attention was snagged when Mayday, overcome with distress, reached out to him, her tiny hands gripping his arm. She wasnât just clutching itâ she was sticking to him, her fingers locked like suction cups on his suit. Timâs eyes widened as she scrambled up his arm, scaling it like a bug on a wall.Â
Red Robin took it in stride, scooping Mayday up as he continued to work. Peter had been on the Meta radar for a bitâ a few things here and there just a little off, and it was mostly based on Red Robinâs time spent with super-powered individuals.Â
But as he patched up Peter, he discreetly swiped a sample of blood, stashing it in his belt just as the Batmobile pulled up.Â
â
Later that night, he ran the sample through the Batcomputer, expecting some small lead. A Meta, possibly insect-based? What with how the kid had stuck to him. Instead, the results left Tim absolutely speechless.Â
Peter Parker, the man who was in his early 40s and a single father, didnât just match someone in the systemâ it matched Dick Grayson.
Not as a brother, or a cousin, but as a son.Â
Tim mustâve ran the test at least 100 times. It came back the same every single time.Â
Tim called Bruce and the rest of the family, each of them crowding around the screen with varying levels of shock and amusement as the analysis rolled in. Dick was dumbfounded, staring at the results in disbelief.Â
âYouâre telling me this guy is my⌠son?â he stammered, struggling to wrap his mind around it.Â
Bruce, socially unaware in all his glory, tried to comfort Dick. âHeâs likely from far into the future. Barry said there was a ripple in the timestream around the time Peter showed up.âÂ
âSo what does that make Mayday?â Jason asked, snickering.Â
âHis granddaughter?â Steph said with a teasing grin.Â
âWow, Dick. You went from a dad to a grandpa in the same minute.âÂ
âThatâs gotta be a world record.â
âYou think we can submit this for a Guinness World Record?â
Dick groaned, rubbing his temples as Jason laughed and clapped him on the shoulder.Â
âHeâs from the future, right? Something mustâve gone wrong on his end," Tim said, folding his arms with a thoughtful look. "Heâs definitely got the skills. Moves like you, Dick. It's obvious he's had training.â
Dick couldn't help but smirk, puffing up a little with pride. âOf course he does. Heâs got Grayson blood in him, after all.â
Jason snorted. âYeah, because the whole âfalling on his face with a baby strapped to himâ bit? So graceful.â
Tim rolled his eyes, trying to stay on track. âLook, I donât know why he didnât come to us for help in the first place, but the point is, heâs family. We should get him back to his time, if thatâs even possible.â He looked over to Bruce. âAre any speedsters available? Maybe the League could lend us Wally or Barryâ"
âHold on,â Dick interrupted, frowning. âIâm not sure weâre ready to ship him off just yet. The guyâs been trying to make it on his own. Heâs got a baby to look after, and I think heâs afraid of dragging us into whateverâs going on with him. You know this family and their pride.â
Damian, who had been silent up to this point, finally piped up, his arms crossed. âIâve seen him with the baby. Sheâs⌠persistent.â There was an almost begrudging respect in his tone. âBut he clearly doesnât have the resources to keep her safe here. If he did, he wouldnât be living in Crime Alley.â
Dick nodded. âExactly. The guyâs holding it together with duct tape and dad jokes. We can help him and get him back on his feet while we figure out a way home.â
Bruce, listening intently, finally spoke up. âHeâs right. Until we find a way to get him home, Peter and his daughter stay here. Weâll pull together whatever resources we can to help them both.âÂ
Steph and Tim shared a look. He just wanted to meet his grandson and great-granddaughter.Â
There was a beat of silence as everyone absorbed the decision, and then Tim looked at Dick, a small smirk playing on his lips. âSo⌠you ready to be a dad, Dick?â
Dick flushed, looking a mix of horrified and pleased. âIâll just stick to âUncle Dickâ for now. Baby steps.â
EXTRA:
âHey,â Jason drawled, barely suppressing a smirk as he looked over at Dick, âyou think we can submit this for a Guinness World Record? Fastest unplanned parenthood, or maybe most confusing family reunion?â
Dick rolled his eyes but couldnât quite hide his grin. âVery funny, Jay. Maybe we can submit you for most inappropriate comments per minute.â
Jason chuckled, clapping him on the shoulder. âJust saying, man, itâs impressive. One day youâre Nightwing, lone acrobat extraordinaire, and the next? Boomâ youâre the proud father of a scruffy, interdimensionalâ what'd you say it was, Tim? Spider-dad? A Spider-dad.â
Tim snickered, glancing up from his laptop. âWeâre all just living in a 'Strangest Family Reunionâ reality show at this point. Besides, if anyoneâs submitting to Guinness, it should be Peter for most relentless optimism under terrible circumstances.â
Bruce cleared his throat, giving them all a look. âEnough. This isnât a joke. We have a situation to handle here.â
Dick, still grinning, turned back to Bruce. âAll right, fine, weâll save the record-breaking for later. Right now, I say we start by finding this guy and getting him some real help.â
#also further reiterating im a slow writer!! i dont ignore anyones asks#im just wokin through them slowly#you guys have good ideas and i wanna do them justice but also cram all the good stuff in a oneshot#i wont do any part 2s#feel free to add on#feel free to use#free to use#oneshot#ficlet#writing requests#peter parker in gotham#spiderman in gotham#spiderman#batman#dc#batfam#marvel#into the spider verse#peter b parker#peter parker#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#bruce wayne#mayday parker#stephanie brown#dick grayson is richard parker#awhoreintheory#my writing
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